#or if you are gonna criminalize thought

[icarryitin]

Episode 16: Pretty

spencer reid/gn!reader

i realised i’ve done a lot of introspective narratives about Feelings™️ but not a whole lot of interaction so pls have some as a treat ilu🧡

series masterlist

word count: 1.9k // warnings: there is so much pining in here it could be a forest

summary: Late nights in strange towns lead to the most unexpected conversations and confessions.

You can’t sleep.

Sheep have been counted over, and over, and over again and still, it evades you. For a day where you’d been looking forward to nothing more than collapsing into bed at the end of it; you’re not best pleased. It’s a rough case as it is, you don’t want to be sleep deprived on top of everything else. But it just isn’t happening.

You count seventy three individual little swirly panels on the ceiling before you decide to get up. A walk might go a fair way to unravel your nerves enough to get a couple of hours, at least you hope it will.

With your jacket thrown over your old college hoodie, you don’t bother changing your sweatpants for jeans, and just slip your feet into your boots. Garcia would be outraged at the clashing colours. The look won’t win any best dressed awards, but at this time of night you’re more concerned with clipping your holster in place. You’re not taking any chances. Especially not with the victimology of this case - although you do have the advantage of knowing the Unsub is out there somewhere. It’s still not an overly comforting thought. But you’re out of options, it’s this or counting the rest of the ceiling panels and, frankly, you’re sure you’ll go blind if you have to stare at plaster swirls for much longer. So you tuck your phone and room key into your coat pockets, and leave the dingy little room behind for a while.

The hotel is, thankfully, almost completely dead, save for the night manager dozing at the front desk. Faded carpet plush under your feet, you’re quiet as you descend the stairs to the lobby and its dimmed lights. The world is dark outside the front doors and you hesitate. Is it really the best idea? To walk around in a city that’s home to a serial killer whose victims bear a striking resemblance to yourself? No, no it’s not. Especially not at, you tug your phone out of your pocket to check the time - jesus, two o’clock in the morning.

“Hey, you.”

It would honestly be wrong to say you’re not expecting his voice - if you were to guess which of the team would still be up and about at this time of night, you’d pick Spencer. It’s a no-brainer.

“Hey, me. Couldn’t sleep either?” Your smile is more strained than you mean for it to be when you turn it to him in response, he must have just come back, snuck in unnoticed while you were glaring at the time on your phone. He’s similarly dressed, coat huddled around mismatched pyjamas, another victim of case-induced insomnia then. His eyes are tired, they are more often than not these days. Yours aren’t all that better.

There’s a comfortable moment of silence where you just exist together, in the hushed quiet of the hotel lobby. Breathing in the calm of the night. It almost makes up for the chaos you know awaits the team in the morning.

“Is it nice out?” You ask, toeing the carpet with your scuffed boot.

“You’re not going for a walk, are you?”

“I’m armed, genius, and I’m twice as scary as anything out there.”

Spencer just huffs your name through an exasperated sigh and looks at you as you waltz past him with your hands in your pockets, turning at the waist to watch you go.

“So come with me.” There’s the vaguest hint of a teasing smile on your lips as you walk backwards towards to the front doors. He’s still not moved when you spin on your heel to push them open and walk off into the night - but you could live a hundred lives and still know the footsteps that follow you down the concrete steps anywhere.

He’s not exactly intimidating, but having him by your side in the small hours makes you feel safer than the weight of the gun at your hip ever could. You try not to think too hard about what that means.

“How many ceiling panels are in your room?” Your breath puffs out in a cloud, words winding around each other in the chill of the just about morning.

“A hundred and nine, if you count the ones that are cut in half.”

“Damn, I gave up at seventy three.”

“I’m not sure how much I believe that, I’ve never seen you give up on anything.” Spencer kicks a pebble into the road at the same moment your feet stop working.

To think he’s paid enough attention to you to notice a thing like that. Maybe you should expect it, especially being part of the team that studies human behaviour, but it still takes you by surprise. The idea that he could, would want to, notice things about you. It’s borderline dangerous. Stubbornness isn’t cute - you’ve been accused of being like a dog with a bone when it comes to your theories more than once. But the way he says it so casually yet so reverently, like it’s something to be proud of, like it’s something he admires. You just about manage to get your legs to cooperate before he can realise you’ve fallen a step behind.

He offers his elbow to you, an uncharacteristic first move, and you almost don’t know what to make of it. Spencer doesn’t initiate contact, ever. Or at least, you’ve never known him to unless it’s to check your tac-vest, and yet here he is. Hands in his pockets, sticking his arm out for you to take. You’re sliding your own arm through his before you even really realise it. Well, it would be rude not to wouldn’t it? When he’s offered so kindly?

In the name of safety, presumably. When there’s a killer on the loose and you just so happen to fit the victimology. Keeping you close is a precaution. You steer the conversation towards the case, if neither of you are resting then you might as well be trying to unravel the latest psycho’s motivations. Another precaution, although a little selfish this time around, to save your heart from falling even further for the man beside you.

“Statistically, people who are attractive are targeted more often that those who aren’t. This Unsub isn’t exactly going against the grain, he’s picking pretty victims.” He rattles off the thought as though it doesn’t threaten to stop your heart in your chest.

It was Spencer who’d pointed out the striking similarities between you and the victims in the first place.

“Doctor Reid, do you think I’m pretty?” Your scandalised gasp matches the hands you press against your chest in faux-shock. And, for once in his life, he doesn’t seem to have any words. He just stands there beside you, gulping like a fish. You like him too much to leave him squirming any longer than he already has.

“I, uh-“ He scrambles for a response.

“Because you’d be right, I am pretty.”

The answering chuckle you get is enough to encourage you to link your arm back through his.

“What you’re saying is,” You press on, shaking off the moment, giving him the time to recover, “There’s no shock factor. Single bullet to the head, dumped unceremoniously with the trash. There’s nothing that says ‘hey look at me’ about this guy.”

Spencer hums in agreement, suddenly very interested in his shoes as they traipse along the drizzle dampened pavement beside yours, and the conversation lulls. But you don’t mind. It’s never an uncomfortable silence with him, it never has been. You’re both more than content to just exist in the same space together - his is a calming presence, for all his nervous energy. There’s never any expectation to be anyone but yourself when you’re around him, no judgement, no pressure.

You’re more than happy to trundle along beside him between the streetlights, dodging puddles, the weight of your linked arms nestled comfortably between you. Except, you’re a profiler. So, for all his valiant efforts to keep your suspicions to a minimum, they’re just not quite effective enough. One glance at his face confirms that he’s thinking far too hard about something. You let your shoulder knock into his, your elbow in his side jolting him out of his thoughts.

“You’re doing it again.” It almost feels blasphemous to disturb the peace that’s settled over you.

Spencer releases his lip from between his teeth.

“There’s something we’re missing.”

“We’ll find it. With fresh eyes in the morning, I bet it smacks us right in the face.”

He doesn’t look like he believes you, and you’d have to agree with him there, but the furrow of his brow relaxes at your gentle reassurance. That’s enough for the moment.

A car door slams up the street and makes you both jump. For all the security the gun at your hip awards you, you’re still a little on edge. It’s just you, Spencer, and the door-slammer on the street - though the stranger seems to be so absorbed in his own world that he barely registers the pair of you. While you’re both fairly confident that the man walking towards you isn’t the Unsub, Spencer tugs you closer into his side by your linked arms all the same. He makes sure he’s solid where he stands between you and the passing stranger, even though you both know he wouldn’t stand a chance in that fight with his lanky frame. There isn’t a bit of you that minds the protection. Something catches in your chest, blooming, warming you from the inside out. It’s dangerous.

You’re not sure when you looped back onto yourselves, but the shadow of the hotel looms and suddenly there’s plush carpet under your feet again. Part of you is glad that your chances to embarrass yourself tonight are numbered. He’d be kind enough not to point it out if you did, though.

The elevator is too close to the front doors, there aren’t enough storeys to pass to get to the floor commandeered by the team, and your rooms are the first in the hallway. Doors opposite each other, the irony of the parallel isn’t lost on you. But it’s so rare that you get to spend time with him without any external pressures of a case or the prying eyes of more than a few colleagues. It feels a little unfair that the time has gone so quickly - an hour, your phone confirms when the screen lights up as you fish around in your pocket for your room key. There’s that pang in your chest again, the one that makes you feel like an impatient child. You know you can’t have him the way you want, you know why you can’t, you know it would probably end in heartbreak for everyone. But god, do you want him. It’d be worth every painful second.

Spencer’s voice across the hall stops your hand, room card outstretched halfway to the scanner in your fingers.

“For the record, I do.”

He’s chewing his lip again.

“You do what?”

You know what he means. He knows you know what he means. But neither of you will admit to it out loud. So it just hangs there, in the air between you, as you stand in front of your respective hotel room doors for a moment longer. And then he’s in his room, and you’re swiping your own keycard through the slot, and you’re shut away again. No less wired than you were when you left - but it’s hard to find it in yourself to worry about the sleep you definitely won’t be getting tonight, there’s no doubt about that.

Because Spencer Reid thinks you’re pretty.

if you’re reading this then thank you i love you i owe you my life i can’t wait to put these guys in more situations 🧡🧡🧡

[sergle]

I really truly, from the bottom of my heart, hate you bitches so much, because on the tiktok of literally COCK AND BALL jokes w brittany broski, there were a few notes/messages like this:

And I KNOW you don't think anyone's going to check. You had someone go into your askbox and say "hiii brittany broski is shitty about palestine she's really ignorant :/" and you went oh omg I didn't know!! thanks for telling me! So I checked! This is in reference to her talking in her podcast, because people were asking why she hadn't done any big press statements about Palestine, you didn't retweet this or that, you must not care, don't you care, what's your stance, etc etc please say more OKAY COOL. So what's going on there? What did Brittany say on her podcast? Is she a Bad Person? Can I have some transcript, please? ____ "Hey guys, before we get into this week's episode, I want to talk to you about the ongoing and prolonged suffering and loss of life in Gaza, in Israel, and the oppression of Palestinian people widespread. I don't ever want it to be a question that I would ever not be against the oppression of any group of people, that I would ever stand on the side of the oppressor." "There was a lot of fear of misusing my platform." ... "I will admit that I was nervous to talk about it, because I don't want to say the wrong thing. And this is too fucking serious of an issue to misspeak, or to spread misinformation, or to speak over or for someone." ... "So I want to take a moment on my biggest platform- which is this podcast, to say that I stand with the people of Palestine, I stand for the liberation of Palestinian people." ... "Every day, to log on to social media, and be just inundated with graphic, unimaginable violence, and loss, and grief, it's just--There are no words." ... "And I feel helpless. That's part of it too, when you feel helpless, the last thing you want to do is talk to people about it-- but visibility is a resource in and of itself. And I can offer that." ... "The outpouring of rage and passion online, and anger at what's happening, I would argue needs to be dedicated and focused on our elected officials. We live in a democracy- albeit an inherently flawed one- we live in a democracy where we have elected officials who were elected and put in power to represent us, and if we feel misrepresented, if we feel underrepresented in foreign affairs? These officials have public phone numbers and emails. There are scripts available online to express your disdain and your rage, and unfortunately that's one of the only ways we'll see actionable change."   "If you expected more from me, it's a terrible feeling- but I don't want to center myself, this needs to be all eyes on Palestine right now, where the real activism is happening. I would encourage you to follow journalists that are on the ground, people who are in Gaza, we need to be listening to them. I would also hope that we're at a point in this conversation where I can express my desire to stand in solidarity with the people of Palestine and that NOT meaning or suggesting or condoning anti-Semitism of any kind. There's a rise of anti-Semitism and islamophobia in the United States and it's just-- it's disgusting, and it's scary, so I want that to be said too. I just wanted to share that I am experiencing part of this collective sense of helplessness and hopelessness-- but it DOESN'T HAVE to be hopeless. I'm going to include a phone number in the description of this episode where, if you don't know the name of your senators or your Congressman, it's never too late to learn, and you can reach out to them." _______ Hm. What a bitch!! Yeah, just so ignorant and uncaring. Obviously she's not keeping up with anything. Should've retweeted more shit ig!

[dukeofthomas]

"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

[batcavescolony]

I was talking to an idiot and I need validation.

[missmitchieg]

The thing about Demily is, like, even as a Lesbian!Emily believer, I see this:

And I go "......So you have a type.

That's great, Em."

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 19 thoughts:

Hopefully this is the only time I have more than a month wait between arc recaps. I was distracted.

Not a long arc really, but god damn did a lot happen.

My daughter is no longer eaten . . . ate . . . aten . . .

My daughter is no longer inside of a creature. That's good. Even though I was obviously 100% fine at the end of arc 18. I'm just more fine now.

Big props to Weld for just going swimming in a giant flesh pool and pulling people (and dogs!) out. He's an ok guy.

Based on the weird "dreams" Skitter was having while inside Echidna I am running on the assumption that the clones are pulled from alternate reality versions of the consumed person where said person had died. Well, not the clones themselves really, but the powers of the clones (and possibly their personalities/memories). Not sure it will end up mattering, with Echidna being dead.

But basically I think the dreams were partially visions of alternate realities.

I've been on the "alternate realities are gonna play a big role and are tied to powers and everything" boat for awhile now, but this arc finally brought that all to the forefront of everything. Just with Scapegoat and Scrub's power, clone Eidolon's powers, the door, and such. So that's cool!

Speaking of Scapegoat, I love his ridiculous little power. I saw it coming the second I saw the name and I was enjoying every second of it.

"She’s fucking blind!?" has gotta be one of the best moments in Worm so far.

Skitter finally realizes that Tattletale has been very clearly taking actions to portray her as the leader to everyone else. Cause bad ass lesbian super villain trio is everything.

Skitter hard carried the second Echidna fight. Everyone would probably be fucked if she wasn't there.

Starting off with taking out the teleporter Grue clone. My girl knows rule number 1. First, GEEK THE MAGE!

And of course she was using her bugs to monitor the entire battlefield, but then she starts giving information and direction to everyone. Kept track of clones, preventing any (hopefully) from escaping). And taking out a fair share of them herself!

Fucking just full on use swarm speech to speak to everyone across the battlefield at once! FUCK YES SHE IS BADASS!

I'm sure Shatterbird won't show up again and isn't going to be an issue at all!

And she's the one that sets up the trap to cut Echidna in half and contain clone Eidolon so Miss Militia can take him out! Clockblocker gets partial credit for helping I guess. But still, Skitter saved all their asses 10 times over.

Also Clockblocker is obsessed with my daughter. Kid has it baaaaaaaad.

I love that in the first few chapters there is some teasing of Cauldron's secrets being spilled a little bit, then Legend completely reveals that Cauldron exists but lies about details, and then suddenly clone Eidolon just dumps everything out there!

Faultline and crew - "We…worked on finding info on Cauldron for a year…and…he just…he shouted it out."

And through all of this Tattletale just out here like "I'm gonna tear a hole in reality!" God I love this reckless chaos child.

Gully deserves to punch a few Cauldron people. As a treat.

Lisa "I took one look at you and instantly knew I would take over the fucking city just to see you smile" Wilbourn over here! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY IT'S SO GAY!

"OH NO LOOK AT THAT POOR TRAUMATIZED CUTE GIRL, I CAN FIX HER!" IS THE MOST LESBIAN THING

Real quote: "Maybe- maybe when the interuniversal trade takes off. Can you imagine? With me and you as the top dogs? The whole world will pay attention to us." HOW CAN SHE BE THIS LESBIAN?

CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SMUGBUG SMUGBUG SMUGBUG if you prefer)

THEY CAN RULE THE WORLD TOGETHER AND I WILL FORGIVE ALL WRONGS DONE TO REACH THAT POINT CAUSE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! (Also obviously Rachel will be there too.)

(I'm sure Taylor crumpling the papers from Dinah in her fists at the end of the arc isn't ominous at all.)

Blasto Interlude thoughts:

Sucks to be Blasto I guess

Accord is terrible as always, glad to see more of him. Love his minions.

Colin can't do anything right. Seriously dude you cut Bonesaw in half and still lost! You have magic cut through anything and turn it to dust tech and you couldn't kill her! God.

Dragon is hard carrying this SH9 hunting team.

She got Manton! That's crazy! Good job robot daughter!

I 100% do not expect Siberian to stay gone. I mean outright Bonesaw is gonna be cloning people and she can probably get some of his DNA. But even without that, it was just too convenient, happening off screen like that. I dunno. It's not safe.

Also Blasto, I'm really sorry about what happened to you but also you tried to make a half Simmy clone! God damn that was the dumbest thing you could ever have done. You are so lucky it didn't work (probably), cause if it did it would have been because she planned it. God damn.

Time for the Slaughterhouse 99 or whatever. Gonna really suck for people.

Parahumans Online Interlude thoughts:

Timeskip!!! Shortish timeskip but still! It's been so day to day for so long so suddenly jumping ahead was surprising.

Greg from act 1 is back! And also kinda a dick. And probably has a Thinker 1 power. Tattletale light basically. Fits with what Taylor said about him in act 1 too.

GstringGirl is probably Sveta, that feels right.

Glad to see the Case 53s making their own team, that's a good start.

WagTheDog wanting to work for Bitch is super cute! I'm glad it seems like that is going to work out.

Loved seeing some of the stuff of people talking about Skitter. I've been wanting to see what the general public has been saying about her cause from an outside perspective the stuff she has done seems 10 times crazier than it is, and it is already crazy.

Emma Interlude thoughts:

Fuck this bitch

Sure she went through a really hard situation and she has terrible parents and it is easy to see how she got to where she is, but that doesn't excuse her actions. I still don't like her at all.

I don't know how much more I need to say, except that Alan shouldn't have left his traumatized daughter home alone with the instructions "If you feel like doing something bad please call the therapist who's number I put on the fridge" christ dude. You are worse every time you show up.

Like learning that Alan knows everything about Sophia as well? Just makes him even worse! Probably upgraded from a 3 fire asshole to a 4 fire asshole by now.

[nonokoko13]

Ok so today I found out Nanbaka ended some time ago so I spoiled myself and man, the ending was so rushed and angst for no reason and overall disappointing??? The author threw very important lore info and a plot twist that felt all out of the blue near the ending... I love angst but when it is well written, and this was not. Their friendship was real, even if prior to the series start wasn't I know what I read was real friendship and this ending ruins for me one of the main themes of this show.

I don't post a lot about this series because I started it before I even had Tumblr but Nanbaka was everything to me back then. Even after I was forced to move on because the english translation stopped and finding all chapters fan translated was very difficult I'd find myself thinking about these characters sometimes and I almost dare to say that it was a comfort series. Not being able to keep reading it without going through a Odyssey was already upsetting but the ending? What in the actual fuck is that. Is not even the fact it was a sad ending what bothers me the most, it's that it was sad and felt bad written or without proper building 🙁

This literally summaries my opinion regarding what happened to the main group:

Now I feel bad? Bad like when you receive bad news irl? Like I've received a punch in the stomach or a betrayal from a dear old friend

If spy x family or yuu & grim (including all of their friends in twst) separate in the end I'm losing all hope of being happy and relaxing with this trope without fearing the chance of getting backstabbed again forever

God please let them stick together or I'm going to make you the same thing you have done with me

[blu-ish]

❤️Fiend-ship❤️

Evil Dedede be like "I have no kids!" PFFFTTTTTTTT

[nyxx-nth]

Oh no I just made a really toxic and awful alternate interpretation of Gavin to ship with Ghost and it’s so bad why am I like this…..

Oh nooo I made him so sadistic fuckkk what have I done to my poor ghost

This Gavin first was interested in him because of Jimmy but then he started to like Ghost himself cuz he thinks he is pathetic and he wants to ruin himmm :(( he wants to bring out the worst parts of him :((( he wants to cause him pain :((( but also be his only source of respite :((( he is awful :( I hate him >:(

I like my normal Gavin interpretation better 😭😭 he’s just a jaded asshole… he’s just a troubled man… this new Gavin sucks he is a garbage bastard evil man >:(((

[only-one-brain-cell]

I know I talk a lot about my headcannon of Maeve hitting on Spencer 24/7 (for those of you who are just seeing this now I have a headcannon that if Maeve lived she would be the most chaotic girlfriend but in the best way possible she would be hitting on Spencer 24/7. Its probably one of my favourite headcannons I ever thought of.) but I rarely talk about Spencer side about how when this happens he would go blue screen every time, I call it the dumbifcation of Spencer Reid.

If everyone is sitting down talking Maeve will walk in and sit on Spencer’s lap regardless if there’s space for her or not and that’s the second that Spencer stops talking and completely forgets what he was saying. The only thing he’s focused on right now is his wonderful beautiful girlfriend in his lap, the other team members can visually see his IQ growing down.

Maeve is very affectionate and once Spencer got comfortable with her he slowly started to become more affectionate so now she’s always holding his hand, wrapping her arms around his, hugging him from behind, anything so when this happens again absolutely nothing there’s not a single thought in that man’s brain. Similar to when their kissing, the minute Maeve’s lips are on his hes a goner. She finds the whole thing hilarious and Spencer adorable of course.

[nobodysdaydreams]

you are such a good writer and a cool person in general!! :D

Thank you anon. I have had a very difficult 45 minutes and really needed to hear this. I hope you have the best evening of your life and that all good things come your way.

[paleontaxi]

//what if i got silly and wrote elias voit from criminal minds

[donewiththisshitplsstop]

Remember when George jokingly said 'If it was anyone else but my teammate I would've rammed them off the road' with a grin and EVERYONE (slurstannies) could not believe it. 'George is an asshole', 'he's so disrespectful'. But then MV says 'I went around the outside and immediately felt that he wasn't going to leave the space. so I just went for it'. As in he knew the outcome of his actions and still did what he did. All the slurstannies 'obviously he didn't mean it like that'.

[greasydumbfuck]

im a hater. sorry

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 9 ! :)

[todayisafridaynight]

Glad you have new found confidence lol and you finally think you’re hot. I remember back in the day when we all thought you were hot because we never saw you. Then you started playing IW turns out you’re a beautiful Philippino man.

'all' is a strong word but if you were among the 'all' hoping i was hot and still think so after seeing my face thank you. if not im sorry please look at my art instead and forget my face