#or if someone is mean to her in the show and I lose my mind bc how DARE they upset her
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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I like how I'm all "I can't STAND river song I HATE river song get her OFF my SCREEN" and then river song is sad for 1 second and I'm in absolute shambles
#or if someone is mean to her in the show and I lose my mind bc how DARE they upset her#guess who just watched the husbands of river song#tho this has been going on since I saw angels take manhattan#I just can't make up my mind about her#and I think it's stupidly funny#I immensely dislike her but I also want to to be happy and have fun always#like. what kinda contradictory bullshit is that lol#squinting riverrrr song. hmm. one day I'll figure out how I feel about you#river song#doctor who
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#just saw the new Netflix India slate for this year#couple of them looks promising#also saw the promo for *The Royals* ....can't say I am that hyped#I mean it looks somewhat like the desi version of crazy rich asians...at least that's the vibe I got#the women in the show tho...that's promising...and it has Sakshi in it#maybe I should wait for it to come out but seriously#if it's just another slog I just hope someone does a supercut of the Sakshi scenes so that I won't have to sit through the whole ordeal#just putting it out in the universe*fingers crossed*#She looks stunning by the way ....and I assume she is playing the Queen mother by the looks of it#I am so gonna lose my mind once it comes out#things I watch for this woman!!!#a whole lot of clownery and I am the main clown#sigh#I am just glad I'll get to have new sakshi content to watch cause I am very close to finishing the current show of hers#so thanks TPTB for tangentially feeding my obsession :P#I wish they would have season 2 of MAI as well...now I would have been properly hyped for that#but it's netflix so when it comes to wanting s2 for any good show it's always- *lower your expectations*#leading a sakshi tanwar appreciation life#rant posting#I be talking to the void#desiblr#tumblelog#tag ramblings#for ts
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in most fics i've read robin is grossed out when steve talks about his sex life, which is probably far more in character for her, but hear me out
imagine them discussing literally everything. like having no boundaries whatsoever.
one day robin mentions she's never seen a dick and she's curious what all the fuss is about.
robin: you have one
steve: yeah...?
robin: so show me
steve: ??
steve: sure, why not
when steve pulls down his pants, robin just stares at him with a blank face
robin: that's... it?
steve: what do you mean that's it??
robin: it looks sad
steve: ??? well, it's not hard rn, obviously???
robin: ugh, boring
steve: you want me to show you my hard dick?? is that what's happening rn?
robin: i mean yeah?
steve: your judgemental face is forever burned into my mind. i don't think i'll ever be able to get hard again.
then robin bursts into his room like a week later
robin: steve, you're a slut-
steve: hey!
robin: so you know your way around a vagina, right?? i need you to tell me if i have a rash or not
steve: do you not own a handheld mirror?
robin: i'm freaking out so much, i can't make a sound observation rn
steve: *sigh* alright
turns out robin does indeed have a rash and steve takes her to the doctor
at one point they lose all shame. steve regularly air dries while robin hangs out in his room. robin makes steve do her monthly breast self-exam. they check each other for ticks.
when steve and eddie start dating steve tells robin literally everything. robin knows way too much about eddie and she loves it.
robin comes over for movie night, eddie is already there
robin: how was your day?
steve: we slept in, then eddie fucked me, it was great-
eddie: *chokes*
steve: then we cooked lunch, there are some leftovers in the fridge, go ahead and eat. yours?
eddie: ???
robin: ugh, don't get me started-
eddie: wait wait wait, how did you just say that so casually?
stobin: ???
eddie: that i fucked you??
steve: i tell robin everything. i told you that. you said that's fine.
eddie: i didn't know that included our sex life?
steve: why wouldn't it? ... wait, oh no, are you not okay with that?? i'm sorry, i thought you knew??
eddie: oh no, it's fine! it just surprised me is all. y'all are real freaks, carry on
stobin: okay then
robin freaks out before her first date with a girl
robin: what if my vagina looks weird???
steve: are you planning to fuck her on the first date, buckley? and how many times do i have to tell you your vagina looks absolutely normal??
robin: no, i'm not, but it's still a valid concern!!! what if my vagina looks hideous to girls??
eddie, the silent observer: lol
steve: what are you even talking about... a vagina is a vagina, vagina lovers love all vaginas
robin: stop saying vagina
steve: vagina vagina vagina-
robin tackles him and they end up wrestling until steve yields
steve: okay okay,, as someone who's seen his fair share of coochies
robin: that's even worse
steve: yours looks perfectly fine.
eddie: wait, you've seen it?
stobin, staring at him: ...
eddie: right, dumb question
#stobin merging into one entity is my favorite thing ever#stobin#steddie#fic#ficlet#mine#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#stobinie
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ㅤֹㅤ⊹ㅤ #ㅤIN THE DARKㅤ.ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
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☆ PAIRING : Bruce Wayne x Fem Reader
☆ HEADCANON : How would he be when he's obsessed?
☆ NOTES : English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!
Bruce Wayne is a man shaped by tragedy, a billionaire with an iron will and an unrelenting sense of justice. But beneath the stoic façade lies a broken soul. When Bruce becomes obsessed, it isn’t violent outbursts or chaotic behavior—it’s cold, calculated, and methodical. He doesn’t lose himself to obsession; he leans into it, weaponizing his resources and intelligence to keep you close. After all, what is Batman if not a man who cannot let go?
Maybe you’re someone he met at a gala—a rare individual who caught his attention without trying. Maybe you’re an employee at Wayne Enterprises, someone who treated him like a person rather than the playboy billionaire. Or maybe you stumbled into Gotham’s darker corners, and he saved you as Batman. Whatever the case, Bruce finds himself drawn to you in a way he hasn’t been to anyone else in years.
At first, he tells himself it’s curiosity. You’re intriguing, sure, but nothing more. Yet he can’t stop thinking about you. Every word you said, every look you gave him, replays in his mind like a song stuck on repeat. And Bruce, has to understand why.
Bruce doesn’t approach you immediately; instead, he observes. He justifies it as caution. After all, he’s Batman—he needs to know everything about you to protect you.
He learns everything there is to know: your name, your routines, your friends, your secrets. He watches you through security cameras, listens to your conversations through bugs he discreetly plants, and even monitors your online activity.
But to Bruce, this isn’t invasive—it’s necessary. How else can he ensure your safety in a city as dangerous as Gotham?
As Bruce Wayne, he’s charming, attentive, and subtly magnetic. He uses his wealth and influence to insert himself into your life. Invitations to exclusive events? Job offers at Wayne Enterprises? He makes it impossible for you to say no without coming across as ungrateful.
As Batman, he’s your silent protector, always one step ahead. If you’re ever in trouble, he’s there—appearing out of the shadows to save you. He doesn’t speak much when he’s Batman, but the way his gaze lingers on you feels almost suffocating.
You’d never suspect that the billionaire who’s so eager to help you and the vigilante who seems to always be around are one and the same.
Bruce’s obsession manifests in his need for control. He doesn’t see himself as possessive—he sees himself as protective. You don’t need to worry about toxic friends, late-night walks, or bad decisions because Bruce will take care of everything.
If someone gets too close to you, Bruce doesn’t lose his temper. Instead, he uses his resources to quietly remove them from your life. A coworker who flirts too much? Suddenly transferred. A friend who badmouths Bruce? Their secrets mysteriously come to light.
“It’s for your own good,” he tells himself. After all, Bruce believes he knows what’s best for you better than you do.
Bruce is painfully self-aware. He knows his feelings for you aren’t healthy, and he hates himself for it. But his guilt doesn’t stop him; it fuels him. He rationalizes his actions by convincing himself that you’re safer with him watching over you.
“I’ve already lost so much,” he whispers to himself late at night in the Batcave, your face flickering on the monitor in front of him. “I can’t lose her too.”
In his mind, his obsession is just another sacrifice he makes for the people he loves. He can bear the weight of being a monster as long as it means keeping you safe.
Bruce rarely shows his jealousy outright—it’s subtle, like a storm brewing just beneath the surface. If you mention another man, his jaw tightens imperceptibly. If someone touches you, his eyes darken, and his hand lingers a little too long on your shoulder as he pulls you away.
Behind the scenes, though, he’s ruthless. The man who asked for your number? He’ll find himself the target of a police investigation. That friend who keeps trying to set you up on dates? Suddenly, they’re avoiding you without explanation.
“I’m just looking out for you,” he says when you start to notice how people in your life seem to vanish. “Gotham is dangerous. You can never be too careful.”
Bruce’s obsession remains controlled until you try to distance yourself. Maybe you’ve started to feel smothered, or maybe you’ve realized that the people disappearing from your life aren’t coincidences. When you confront him—whether as Bruce or Batman—he’s calm, almost unnervingly so.
“I only want what’s best for you,” he says, his voice steady. “Do you have any idea how much danger you’re in without me?”
If you try to leave, that calm facade shatters. He won’t hurt you—never you—but he’ll do everything in his power to make sure you stay. He’ll cut off your options, isolate you, and remind you that no one else can protect you the way he can.
“You think you’re safer without me?” he says, his voice laced with desperation and anger. “You’re wrong. Gotham will chew you up and spit you out. I’m the only thing standing between you and harm.”
Despite his obsession, Bruce’s love for you is genuine in its own twisted way. He wants you to be happy, even if he doesn’t understand that his actions are suffocating you.
There are moments when the mask slips—when Bruce is just a broken man trying to hold onto the one good thing in his life. Late at night, he’ll hold you close, his voice trembling as he whispers, “You’re everything to me. I can’t lose you. Not after everything I’ve already lost.”
In those moments, it’s hard to tell where Bruce Wayne ends and Batman begins. To him, they’re both the same—a man who would do anything to protect the one person he can’t live without.
— MASTERLIST ☆
— © luv-lock. Don't copy, repost or translate any of my works here or any other websites ☆
#🕊️. dc comics#ㅤㅤ⠀ㅤ 𓇼ㅤ ㅤ𓂂ㅤㅤ ˚ㅤㅤ ◌ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏#bruce wayne#yandere bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#dark bruce wayne#bruce wayne x you#yandere batman#yandere batman x reader#batman x reader#batman#batman x you#yandere dc#yandere dc x reader#dc x reader#batman x fem!reader#bruce wayne x y/n#bruce wayne x fem!reader
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hey I need you SO BAD to do like an arcane reaction where they’re drunk and what they do/say while it and btw I love your writing
What Arcane characters are like when drunk. | Vi, Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko, Sevika x Gn!Reader
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So this may have become a little too angsty for some of them, so uh... don't mind me-
Also, thank you so much! I'm glad you love my writing. It means a lot to me!<33
Content: Alcohol obviously, some potential heavy angst, Pit fighter Vi, established romantic relationships, some toxic behavior, this has been written by someone who has never drank a sip of alcohol in their life so I'm sorry if this is unrealistic, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns.
((Not fully proofread))
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》VI
Her being drunk wasn't unusual, and in fact, it has become the norm for her at this point. It was the only way for her to numb the agony she was going through every day, and there was no stopping the cycle she was in. If she wasn't drunk, then she was fighting. But even the line that was drawn between those two states she was constantly in was becoming blurry and unintelligible. Things were getting out of hand, and so was her aggression towards everything that moved, anything that cared for her.
But at least you were still here with her, trying your best to keep her together and intact when she refused to be.
She can be cruel and unfocused whilst drunk, often either yelling or punching things to express her frustrations, and yet she never dared hurt you. You were the only light she had left, and she'd be damned if she snuffed you out, too. But this doesn't mean that she can control her words at times. She says things she regrets all the time, insults that cut deep or accusations that made no sense were common. Yet you stayed, you always stayed.
A part of her knows you deserve better, but until Jinx showed up, she refused to wane off the bottle that kept her even partially functioning daily. In a different life, she'd put the bottle down, however, and just finally hug you instead.
》CAITLYN
She doesn't drink much, and when she does, it's in strict moderation. She has a reputation to keep up and can't let her sharp senses falter at any time, especially once she becomes the commander of Piltover. But when it's just the two of you attempting to relax after an impossibly stressful day, the alcohol helps her relax and become more open with her troubles. Her grief had manifested into an uncontrollable force she shyed away from every speaking on, but in drunken moments like these, she'll allow herself to find melancholy in your arms, her flushed face pressed into your shoulder as she did so.
She may cry or laugh of the worries of the day, maybe break down from the guilt and frustrations, let the anger quell over but only still hesitantly even with her judgment clouded. This is a very rare state to see her in after the loss of her mother, and she trusts you to keep this vulnerable part of her safe and sound in your heart behind locked lips.
With that said, knowing how emotional she can get whilst drunk, she tries avoiding drinking too much during functions in case things get too much out of hand. She'd rather not make a fool of herself infront of everyone after all.
》JINX
She doesn't typically drink. But the few times she does with you at her side, she somehow becomes extremely calm and lazy. She'll practically lay in the chair she was sitting in, eyes squinting at a far away point on the wall, whilst she seemingly contemplates life. Most would think that the alcohol would enable her crazy tendencies even more, but alas, it simply turns her mostly docile.
I say mostly, as she usually mentally comes up with the craziest plans instead, all of which are questionably more unethical than the last. She'll eventually lose herself in those thoughts and become either unresponsive or mutter the silliest, incomprehensible things known to man. And there is certainly no in-between.
With that said, she will probably eventually snap out of it and begin rapidly speaking about all these thoughts to you without a single care in the world. Drunk Jinx is somehow less miserable and yet absolutely doesn't like the feeling of it afterward. Sure, it makes her mind stop thinking about her issues and past, but it still feels wrong, hence why it's rare to see her drunk.
Her terrible hangovers alone also cause her to stay away from alcohol in general. It's definitely not worth that pain to her.
》EKKO
Another person who doesn't drink often at all, albeit out of his responsibility as a leader. He has to be a good role model for everyone and only drinks when the occasion calls for it, like a festival or get together with friends and you. That's when he lets loose a little and allows himself to drink more than he probably should, resulting in a very clingy and loving Ekko.
His alcohol tolerance is embarrassingly low, and he always tells himself that he should know better than to down so many glasses at once... yet it's hard to keep count after about 2 and a half of them. Or so he'd say after he sobers up in the morning, much to your amusement. During the time he's fully hammered, though, he'll always have a hand in you and slur his words rather heavily, whilst he practically near proclaims his love for you for everyone to hear. This often results in you having to slap a hand over his mouth before he embarrasses himself further... which is somehow he hates.
He gets teased by the others all the time for it and glares when they mock his loving tone of voice that he only uses when he's in that impaired state with you. This alone makes him abstain from even a singular drop of alcohol... until the next festival roles around and he forgets to keep count again.
But hey, maybe he'll remember next time because you sure as hell won't remind him.
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》SEVIKA
She drinks at bars all the time with you, although it's rare to see her ever get completely drunk. She has an extremely high tolerance to alcohol and it shows when there is barely a difference in her behavior. The only thing that may indicate something influencing her would be a slight slur in her voice and her being unwilling to get up or move around much at all. She'll just want to relax and play poker in peace, even if it starts getting hard to see the cards after a while.
Another way to tell that she may be getting drunk is by her sudden overprotectiveness. Sure, it was always there and never left, despite you being able to handle yourself alone. But when she's drunk, anyone that looks at you for too long in a way she doesn't like will either be punched in the face or yelled at to keep it moving.
She also definitely always denys being drunk or even tipsy when you ask her. Whether out of pride or stubbornness, you'll never know, but she will never admit to it. It doesn't matter if she denies it whilst being unable to walk straight either.
#arcane#arcane x genderneutral reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane x reader#arcane vi#arcane vi x reader#vi#vi x reader#arcane jinx#arcane jinx x reader#arcane caitlyn x reader#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn kiramman#arcane ekko#arcane ekko x reader#ekko#ekko x reader#arcane sevika x reader#arcane sevika#sevika x reader#sevika
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how do you think jjk men are with embarrassing moments during sex? like if something embarrassing that happens to either them or their partner, do they play it off, try to inject humor, swear off sex to be a monk?
i read a similar post by an author advocating for well, not just more realistic depictions of sex in fics, but to include some of the awkwardness present in them too?? their post included geto’s hair getting stuck in butt cracks, Toji pulling a muscle, Nanami losing his boner, and Choso full on shitting himself accidentally to help with reader’s embarrassment over queefing 😭😭😭
like yes it’s funny and bonkers but cuz sex isn’t always the passionate sexy fuckfest we see in fics/movies, people don’t always cum at the same time, yes you DO need lube AND prep, foreplay DOES matter, dryness or losing an erection midway no matter how horny you are is common yano?? 😤😤
lowkey wanted to go anon lest you call me perpetually horny 😭 but ignore me if my shit’s getting old
own your shit bae, no pun intended. ur horniness could never get old. I like these questions cause they're like brain teasers. okay okay lemme have a go
Gojo:
says a cringy line
I can totally see him trying something new that he thinks would be super sexy like
"oh yeah? you like that? you're such a dirty whore, aren't you? come on, cum and show me who you're daddy is."
reader will pause and stare at him like, did you hear yourself?
gojo will have a moment of realisation and give himself the ick. even he has limits.
he collapses on top of reader and begs her to forget that, will be a blushing mess.
he'll think about it once in a while and cringe
but in the moment, he'd throw a tantrum if you can't stop laughing and making fun of him.
"it wasn't that bad! you're being mean, seriously. I just got caught up, okay? stop laughinggggg"
gets very pouty, protests, and you have to seduce him back, really compliment the hell out of him
then he'll force you on top and make you take the lead so he doesn't give himself another opportunity to be embarassing
Geto:
trying to switch positions in a tight space and then you accidentally rest your elbow on his long hair and he almost rips outs chunks
probably gets irritated because you've damaged his brilliant hair
takes a breather and then starts back up again
punishes you during sex
will crack a smile if you do
"yeah, alright, laugh it up. but if I develop a bald spot, neither of us will be laughing."
will make sure that never happens again
might even pull your hair during sex to show you how it feels (not too hard obvi)
Choso:
might get too subby lol
like "am I a good boy mommy? am I doing good? I don't want my mommy to be mad at me" and he's in tears
idk how to write mommy kinks lol
and you both have a moment of clarity where it's like, damnnn you okay? didn't know you had trauma like that
he'll get very shy and embarrassed
might even start crying, trying to run away
you'll have to reassure him it's fine and then just go slowly and gently, having more loveydovey sex
late at night, he'll ask you if you really didn't mind because he doesn't want you to be freaked out or think he's not a man
but I imagine it'd become a kink you indulge him once in a while
just gotta teach him it's okay, just don't spring it on someone mid act lol
Toji:
trying a really acrobatic fucking position, whether in the living room or in the shower, gets his footing wrong and slips, smacks his head against the wall, takes you down with him
he knocks himself out
you have to wrangle his 200 pound or something body in to a safe lying position and wait for him to come to
when he does and he remembers what happens
bro is in denial
no he didn't slip
no he didn't overestimate himself
no it didn't hurt
no he's not embarrassed stop asking him
gets very grumpy and will storm off, grumbling under his breath
comes back calmer
neither of you mention it but it hangs in the air as you both prepare dinner together
once sat across each other, you make an eye contact and you burst out laughing
he rolls his eyes but he's got a smile on his lips
"yeah yeah, what fucking ever. you try lifting your heavy ass up whilst you're balls deep"
next time tho, he gets you back by forcing you to endure vanilla sex, going very slow and shallow and overly sweet
makes you beg for him to fuck you normally
he'll consider it
Nanami:
drunk sex, becomes wayyyy too emotional
"sweetheart, you're the most beautiful thing in the entire world, I love you so much do you know that? I honestly -hiccup!- c-can't live without you, oh goodness, please don't make me live without you!"
he's still inside, he's not even thrusting anymore, he's just crying into your neck like a baby
you're brushing his hair, shushing him, orgasms forgotten
might vomit on you a little
wakes up with a killer hangover and a night full of memories he wishes he could erase
"oh god, honey. I'm so terribly sorry. I can't believe I did something so ridiculous. no I know loving you openly isn't ridiculous, but I wouldn't be wrong to say crying, leaving you unsatisfied, forcing you to care for a man child, and cherry on top, vomitting on you is just a little ridiculous."
has to go make it up to himself for being a terrible husband
will spoil you for the rest of the week
or anytime he remembers
might actually drink less because of it lol
Sukuna:
he'd kill you if he did something embarrassing
pray he never does
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i’m visualizing a fic where reader goes off to fight with their dragon and comes back to jace being furious that she would endanger herself and feelings are revealed…. can you make that happen? xx🙈
Request: Being dragonseed and getting close to jace during the trainings. Maybe she claimed silverwing or vermithor? She goes to battle while he is not there and jace is STRESSED
Request: Jace sneaking out to check on the girl he secretly loves
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
—
When Jacaerys took it upon himself to teach and train the dragonseeds, he didn’t think his loyalty to his betrothed would be challenged. Since the beginning of war, his bond with Baela became stronger and they got closer, but as he watched you atop Silverwing, hair in the wind and soaring over the water, he felt things he never felt before.
Was it the blood of the dragon, although thin, that was calling to him? Or was it the sight of a woman on a large dragon? Jacaerys couldn’t tell. What he knew was that he never felt that way when Baela was riding Moondancer.
‘’What do you mean, she went to the Riverlands?’’ he shouted at his mother, all manners forgotten.
Rhaenyra met his glare with a calm gaze. ‘’The Greens are marching up to Harrenhal. I sent her to meet their army before they reach the Riverlands.’’
‘’And what of Vhagar?’’ Jacaerys continued, his voice rising as he thought of the beast that had devoured his little brother and his dragon in a single bite. ‘’They know Daemon has taken Harrenhal. Undoubtedly, they brought their biggest dragon to fight him.’’
Rhaenyra hummed thoughtfully. ‘’It is a high possibility, but Silverwing is a large dragon, as you said yourself. Y/N will handle Vhagar if Aemond dares showing up.’’
‘’She is not ready to go to battle.’’ Jacaerys’s fists clenched at his sides, making up the worst scenarios in his mind. ‘’You sent her to her death!’’
‘’I needed to send a dragon. It was Silverwing or Vermithor.’’
‘’Why did you not send Vermithor?’’
‘’Because I didn’t want to reveal our biggest asset to the enemy,’’ Rhaenyra said, her brow furrowing as she noticed her son’s agitation. ‘’Why are you so agitated? The dragonseeds were your idea, Jace. We have to send them on the battlefield at some point.’’
The reasons the search for dragonseeds began was to get more dragons on their team, but also to not risk their own in battle by using those with blood 'thinner' than their own as fodder. It was selfish and evil, but losses are inevitable during a war. Better be a stranger than someone you love.
But now, his plan had backfired.
‘’She’s not just a dragonseed!’’ Jacaerys snapped, his eyes blazing with anger and worry. ‘’She’s—’’ He stopped himself, realizing how much he had revealed in his fury and the implication of what he was about to say.
Rhaenyra spoke his name softly, finally figuring the nature of her son’s worries, but he turned away, unable to look his mother in the eye.
⁂
When night came, Jacaerys was unable to sleep, tossing and turning in his bed. All he could think about was you fighting against Vhagar…and losing.
If you didn’t return from the Riverlands, he would never forgive himself for encouraging you to claim Silverwing.
Finally, Jacaerys could not take it anymore. He sprung out of his bed, changed into his riding clothes and slipped on a cloak. Quietly, he sneaked out of his quarters and started heading towards the hills where he knew Vermax liked to sleep. Rhaenyra would be furious in the morning when finding out he went to the Riverlands without her approval, but he needed to go to you.
‘’Lyka (quiet), Vermax,’’ Jacaerys said as he mounted the dragon, not wishing to alert anyone of his nightly adventure. The poor thing was whining and confused why his rider was waking him, but obeyed his command.
They set out into the night, flying towards the northwest. The wind was cold, biting through Jacaerys' cloak, and the darkness was absolute with no moon to guide their way. The only sound was the rhythmic beating of Vermax's wings, cutting through the icy air.
After what felt like hours of flying blindly in the night, Vermax began to screech, a high-pitched, urgent sound that pierced the silence.
‘’Sagon gīda (be calm), Vermax,’’ Jacaerys commanded, trying to calm his dragon. But Vermax continued screeching, his eyes darting around as if he had seen something human eyes couldn’t. ‘’What is it, Vermax?’’
Vermax's screeches grew louder, more insistent, and Jacaerys felt a surge of unease. He strained his eyes, peering into the inky blackness, but saw nothing. He knew that dragons had senses far keener than humans, capable of detecting things long before they were visible.
‘’What do you see?” he muttered, more to himself than to Vermax, as he tried to understand his dragon’s distress.
Vermax couldn't understand the common tongue, but his behavior made it clear that something was wrong. He twisted his head, sniffing the air, and let out another screech, this one more urgent and filled with warning.
Jacaerys suddenly realized what it could mean: Vermax had detected the scent of another dragon.
His heart pounded in his chest as he tightened his grip on the reins, scanning the dark skies for any sign of movement. The thought of encountering Vhagar in the pitch-black night sent a shiver down his spine. He tightened his grip on the handles, trying to steady both his dragon and himself.
Then, through the darkness, he saw a faint, silvery glimmer. Realization struck him hard.
‘’Silverwing,’’ he breathed, understanding now what Vermax had sensed.
Immediately, Jacaerys commanded Vermax to descend. He didn’t know where he was, but he knew that he had not reached the Riverlands yet. If Silverwing was down here, it could mean you were injured. Dragons were known to stay by their rider's side and guard them when they were vulnerable — or dying.
The prince's heart raced as they descended, his mind filled with worry. As soon as Vermax touched ground, he dismounted and scanned the area frantically, searching for you.
Silverwing screeched loudly when Jacaerys got close, the sound stirring you from your sleep and snapping into alert. You reached for your dagger sheated at your hip, ready to stab whoever would try to get close.
‘’It’s me,’’ Jacaerys quickly said before you could touch him.
‘’Prince Jacaerys?’’ you said with a frown. ‘’Has Her Grace sent you looking for me?’’
Jacaerys stayed silent. His mother did not care much for you — or any of the dragonseeds.
The sight of blood on your hands sent his heart into a frenzy. ‘’Are you hurt? What has happened?’’
He kneeled beside you, and you let out a small hiss. ‘’I'm not on my deathbed, my Prince,’’ you reassured. ‘’I saw the Green's army marching to the Riverlands. They were definitely surprised to see a new dragon had been claimed by the Blacks. I engaged in battle, burning several of them, but their archers started shooting arrows at us. Silverwing dodged them the best she could, but I received one in my leg…’’ You glanced down where the arrow used to be, blood seeping through your clothes and down your leg. ‘’I know I should not have taken it out, but the pain was too much.’’
‘’It’s okay.’’ Jacaerys drew his sword to cut a piece of his cloak to make a bandage for your leg. ‘’All that matters is that you’re alive.’’ He began wrapping the piece of his cloak tightly around your wounded leg, but not so tight it would cause you more pain. ‘’I…I was worried about you.’’
You raised an eyebrow at the prince. ‘’Me?’’
He looked at you for a moment, his gaze flickering between your face and your wounded leg. ‘’Don't do that again. Going alone in a battle. What is Vhagar had been there?’’
‘’Why? Because I’m a woman?’’
‘’No.’’ Jacaerys shook his head. ‘’No, that’s not— When I didn’t see you at training this morning, I thought you were in the village helping your parents with the sheeps. But Baela informed me that you had been sent to the Riverlands at first light to meet the Greens and all I could think about was Rook’s Rest. What Vhagar did to Luke, and Rhaenys… Gods, if you were the next to fall, I would not handle it.’’
You huffed, not believing him. ‘’Aren’t I just a paw in your mother’s war? I’m not stupid, my Prince. Dragonseeds don’t matter to Her Grace. She just want the power of our dragons.’’
‘’I care. I care about you. I care so much about you that I could not sleep without knowing if you were okay. I would not have taken flight in the middle of the night if I didn’t care about you.’’
His words hung in the dark night, the air filled with his confession. Your heart stuttered in your chest as you processed his sudden confession. This conversation felt like forbidden territory. You were a shepherd’s daughter and he was a highborn prince, betrothed to a princess.
‘’You…you shouldn’t say things like that,’’ you finally murmured, averting your eyes from the intensity of his gaze. You tried to hide the fact that his words made you feel things you shouldn’t.
Jacaerys took a deep breath, then slowly reached out to tilt your chin, his fingertips gently tracing over your skin. ‘’I should, because it’s how I feel.’’ He leaned closer. His fingers grazed your cheek, his touch sending shivers down your spine.
‘’What of Baela?’’ you managed to ask, your heart beating wildly in your chest, torn between desire and loyalty.
He shook his head, his gaze locked with yours. ‘’I don’t feel strongly for Baela the way I do for you,’’ he confessed.
—
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#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#prince jacaerys#jacaerys x reader#hotd jacaerys#house of the dragon#hotd
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"The Unexpected Couple"
Loser!Jinx x Reader
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Nobody saw it coming. Nobody.
It was like one day, Jinx was just the chaotic loser that everyone tolerated at best—and the next? She was dating you. You. The person everyone actually liked, the one who had their life together, the one who could walk into a room and make people listen.
People thought it was a joke at first. A prank. Some kind of elaborate bet. But then they saw the way Jinx looked at you—like you were the sun and she was just some dumb little planet orbiting around you, completely at your mercy.
And the way you looked at her? Yeah. You were just as gone.
People’s Reactions:
Vi:
“Are you being blackmailed? Blink twice if you need help.”
She genuinely cannot wrap her head around it. Jinx, her loser little sister, who once ate an entire bag of uncooked pasta for fun, is somehow dating you? She thought it was fake until she saw you casually kiss Jinx on the cheek one day.
She short-circuited. Nearly dropped her protein shake. Stared at Jinx for a solid ten seconds before going,
“WHAT. THE. HELL.”
Sevika:
Doesn’t care much, but when she sees you cuddling up to Jinx at lunch, she just takes a long sip of her drink and mutters,
“This timeline is broken.”
Your Friends:
“Be honest. Did you lose a bet?”
“Are you okay? Like… mentally?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LIKE HER?”
It’s not that they hate Jinx—it’s just that she’s Jinx. She forgets homework exists and once tried to teach a pigeon how to skateboard.
You just laugh and say, “Yeah, but she’s my idiot.”
And then Jinx, who overheard the whole thing, proceeds to melt into a puddle of emotions.
Your Teachers:
Your math teacher literally pulled you aside one day like,
“You’re such a bright student. Don’t let… distractions ruin your potential.”
Meanwhile, Jinx is in the background, chewing on a pen, 100% unaware that she’s the distraction in question.
Your Relationship in School:
PDA? Oh yeah. Jinx never cared about being subtle in the first place, but now that she has you? She’s insufferable. Walks you to class even though she’s late for her own. Steals your hoodies and wears them oversized because, “They smell like you.” Leaves dumb doodles in your notebooks (half of them are just little hearts with your name in them). Jinx is constantly showing off. And by “showing off,” I mean doing the dumbest, most reckless stunts imaginable. If there’s a terrible idea, she’s already doing it before you can stop her.
Jinx: “Bet I can jump from this stairwell and land perfectly.”
You: “Jinx, no—”
Jinx: [proceeds to fall flat on her face]
You: “Oh my god.”
And yet, you’re always the first one helping her up, laughing as you brush off the dirt from her hoodie.
She falls harder every time.
She thrives off making you blush. For someone who is usually a mess, Jinx is unexpectedly bold when it comes to flirting.
One day, you’re minding your own business when she leans in and whispers, “You look really good today.”
You turn red. She grins like she just won the lottery.
“I make you nervous, don’t I?”
She does. She really, really does.
Nobody gets how you put up with her. She’s always late, never does her homework, and is basically a human raccoon. But when she falls asleep in your lap during study hall, drooling on your sweater, you just shake your head and pull her closer.
Because yeah, she’s a disaster. But she’s your disaster.
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MAN IM JUST TRYING TO LOAD ALL OF MY DRAFTS
I want food and sleep
#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#x reader#jinx league of legends#jinx lol#jinx arcane#x you#x y/n#jinx#jinx x reader#jinx fluff#jinx smut#jinx angst
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training partners
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summary: you hire a new personal trainer to get you back on track, but you don't realize that she's also hugh jackman's trainer until you show up to the gym. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader warnings: implied age gap (hugh is 55, reader is in late 20s-early 30s), reader has some description (hair, outfit), sexual tension (lingering gazes, teasing / complimentary banter, soft touches - come on, hugh jackman will be spotting you), no use of y/n. word count: 5.7k a/n: ok, so this is my first real person fanfic in a very long time. i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman and this is purely fictional (all in my delulu mind). next part.
That night, your trainer sent you a text to let you know that your next session tomorrow morning with her would include another person. You didn’t mind, though, you had been training with her for over three months now and she had gotten you back on track. Not only with your physical health, but you were back on track to loving yourself and putting yourself first.
Your boyfriend of three years had broken up with you before you hired your personal trainer. Throughout that relationship, you had let yourself go. You prioritized him in ways that you never planned to and the feelings were never reciprocated. You always put more into the relationship than he did. You were heartbroken though and still recovering from losing him, but you had come to realize that him breaking up with you was a blessing in disguise. You weren’t happy. You knew that you had fallen out of love with him, but you just couldn’t bring yourself up to be the one to end the relationship.
And now, meeting your personal trainer three times a week has been something you looked forward to. She always pushed you past your limits, very well aware of your potential, and she always made sure to hold you accountable – with your workouts, with your diet, but most importantly, with your self-talk. She had truly become someone you can rely on and as the months passed, she became a close friend.
You read the text she sends you: Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but someone is gonna join us tomorrow. I’ve been training him for years and we’ve had trouble finding a good day and time for him to train with me. It’s possible that this will become more permanent since he’s so busy. I hope that’s okay!
After all that she’s helped you through, you knew you couldn’t complain. Besides, you wouldn’t mind her attention being elsewhere. You knew she would still be there to help you. So, you send a reply: That’s fine with me! It’ll give me a bit of a break if your attention is on him, instead of me.
She replies quickly: You’re not gonna be slacking off, if that’s what you’re getting at.
You laugh to yourself and then send her a wink emoji followed by another message: Of course not! I’ll see you tomorrow.
—
The following morning, you pull up to the gym and climb out of your car. There are two other cars in the parking lot – you know one belongs to your trainer, but the other, you aren’t sure whose it is. Climbing out, you grab your duffle bag and water bottle before making your way inside. You’ve always dressed in an oversized hoodie and spandex shorts when going to the gym and today is no different. You’re wearing a faded black oversized hoodie with black spandex shorts and gym shoes with white socks. Your hair is in a single dutch braid, but is covered when you put the hood over your head and your headphones draped around your neck.
Once inside the gym, you notice your trainer setting up but you look around and don’t notice anyone else there. Huh, you think to yourself. Maybe it’ll just be me after all.
You walk over to her and greet her with a hug, setting your duffle bag and water bottle in the corner. “I thought you said there’d be someone else today and it looks like there’s another car outside, but I just see you.”
“Oh, he’s in the bathroom.” she chuckles and then points in the direction of the mats to signal for you to start stretching. “Go ahead and stretch. We’re gonna be doing a full body workout and we’ll start with a cardio warmup.”
“Yes, coach,” you salute, causing you both to let out a laugh.
You begin stretching, putting on your headphones over the hood and letting the music play in your ears. Surprisingly enough, you’re playing the soundtrack from The Greatest Showman and it pumps you up, gets you ready for what you expect to be a grueling workout. You’re on all fours, doing the cat-and-cow stretch for several seconds before you see a pair of feet in your peripheral.
You turn your head completely and look up at the man who decides to begin stretching next to you, flashing you a smile that immediately makes your stomach do flips. He’s wearing a black tank top with black shorts and he’s saying something, but you can’t hear him. You can’t even speak, but then he points to your headphones and you blush instantly. Of course you couldn’t hear him, you’re blaring From Now On and you’re sure that he can hear it from his end with how loud your music is. You remove your headphones, letting it rest around your neck and pausing the song.
“You know, listening to music that loud can hurt your eardrums, I hear.” He speaks and you melt instantly, his Australian accent thick.
“Gets me ready for a workout.”
“What does? The song or how loud you’re listening to it?” He winks.
“So, you heard what song was playing.”
“I did. What can I say?” He smiles. “It’s a good song.”
“I’m sorry,” you blurt out. “You’re literally Hugh Jackman and I’m trying not to freak out over here, but I don’t think I’m doing a great job.”
He lets out a quiet chuckle and then reaches out a hand for you to take. You realize that you’re still on all fours, staring at the man who you’ve had a crush on since he became the Wolverine. Quickly, you move to sit properly, not really wanting to introduce yourself in a position that can be taken as very inappropriate.
“Well, I’m Hugh,” he winks, his Australian accent coming through thickly.
You reach for his hand and gently shake it, looking down at it. His hand is so much larger compared to yours. You introduce yourself and tell him your name before dropping his hand, biting your lower lip as you look around to see your trainer look through her notebook.
“Nice to meet you,” you finally say. “I’m sorry if I’m crashing your session.”
“I think I should be the one that’s sorry,” he says. “This is only the day and time that works for me right now and she’s the best of the best,” Hugh continues, pointing in the direction of our personal trainer. “She’s helping me get back into shape for the Wolverine.”
“Oh, so you are coming back?”
Hugh chuckles and lowers his eyes to the mat before he looks back at you. “I probably shouldn’t have told you that, but yeah. I’m comin’ back.”
“Well good,” you reply, standing up after you’ve finished stretching. You look down at him and let your eyes rake in his body. It’s one thing to see him in pictures, but it’s another to see him in person, this close. “I always did like the Wolverine. One of my favorites, actually.”
“Oh, yeah?” he asks, his eyes lowering to your exposed legs and back up to your eyes.
You can feel the tension thicken in the air between you as you both stare at each other. Your eyes can’t help but rake over his arms, the veins along his biceps, his chest flexing with each movement. You clear your throat and nod, biting your lower lip. “Definitely. Guess I got a thing for older men.” You don’t give him a chance to respond before you walk away and leave him to continue his stretching, but you do feel his eyes on you as you walk away.
You approach your trainer and look at her with wide eyes. “Um, you should have told me you’re Hugh Jackman’s trainer!”
She laughs and looks over your shoulder at him who’s still staring at you. “If I did, would you have come?”
“No, probably not. I’d be too scared. I won’t be able to keep up with him. I mean, have you seen him? He’s jacked!”
She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “You can keep up with him,” she reassures. “Trust me.”
“Well, what if I can’t? I’m gonna make a complete fool out of myself and–”
“Stop.” She interrupts and points at you. “You’re spiraling and you don’t need to. You’re not here to compete with him. You’re both here to work out and who knows, maybe having him here will push you extra hard.”
“You already push me extra hard,” you say. “I leave completely drenched after every workout I have with you.”
“You don’t have to impress anyone. He’s here to workout. You’re here to workout. Remember why you started,” she replies. “And remember how far you’ve come.”
“You’re right,” you nod. “You’re right. He’s just so…” you sigh dreamily and then look over your shoulder to see him stand up and begin making his way over to you both. “Hot.”
She laughs, “Well, I hear he’s single.”
“Oh my god, he would never go for me! I mean, he’s completely famous and I’m just… Me.”
“There’s that negative self-talk again,” she tsks. “I’m gonna have to put you through a really tough ass workout to make you think of yourself differently.”
“Okay, okay,” you tease. “I’m amazing. I’m perfect. I’m–”
“Beautiful,” Hugh interrupts and winks in your direction. “Sorry, should I have not chimed in there?”
Your cheeks begin to heat up and the pit of your stomach feels like butterflies are swarming in there. He’s staring at you with a grin on his face and it makes you look away shyly.
“Okay, lovebirds. Can we get this workout started?” Your trainer interrupts, laughing quietly.
“Um, yeah. Let’s, um, yeah, let’s workout.” You walk over to the stairmaster and climb on it before you see Hugh do the same next to you. You look over your shoulder to see your trainer walk towards the speakers to play the music to get you both ready, but she knows that you like to listen to your own music when warming up.
This gives Hugh enough time to gently lean over and tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. You look up at him with big, hopeful eyes and he’s staring back directly into yours.
“I’m sorry if I crossed a line there,” he says genuinely. “I just–”
“It’s okay,” you interrupt, smiling up at him. “If we’re giving each other compliments, then I think you’re hot.”
Hugh looks down and lets out a quiet chuckle. “Even for an old man?”
“Oh, you’d be hot if you were my age too. But I like that you’re older. Gives you bit of an edge.”
“An edge, huh?”
“Well, I have always had a crush on you, so…”
Hugh smirks and he’s about to say something before your trainer speaks up to begin your warmup for fifteen minutes. You then nod in his direction before putting the headphones back on and starting the machine. You’ve always put your all into each workout and you have to tell yourself that you shouldn’t act any differently because the Hugh Jackman is working out with you. You had been so nervous and anxious to be working out alongside Hugh that you didn’t realize just how far you had come, just like your trainer mentioned earlier. For years, you had put someone else before you, put their needs before your own, and for once since then, you feel like you have control over your life again.
And for once, you knew what you wanted and you were going to go after it.
—
Fifteen minutes later, you and Hugh both stop the machine and climb off of it. You remove your headphones and take off your hood, already drenched in sweat. You look in Hugh’s direction and notice the sweat slicking off his frame as well, his tank top stained with sweat. You clear your throat and walk over to your duffle bag, setting your headphones inside and grabbing your small towel to wipe the sweat from your brows and temples. You know you’re going to end up removing your hoodie soon, but you feel a bit self-conscious and wish you should have worn a t-shirt because once you remove your hoodie, you’ll be dressed in just a sports bra and spandex.
You then realize that Hugh’s bag is right next to yours and see him grab his own bottle of water and towel to cool himself down before the start of your workout.
“Aren’t you hot in that hoodie?” Hugh asks.
“I like to get a good sweat in,” you blurt out. You clear your throat, not believing that you just said that. “I mean, I just–”
Hugh smiles. “No, no. I understand. It’s like your own personal sauna.”
“Sure, kinda.” You gnaw at your lower lip before you stand upright, holding onto your bottle of water. “I mean, eventually, this is gonna come off because she makes me work,” you laugh, referring to your personal trainer. “But I like to keep my body and muscles warm.”
“Ah, so I will get to see what you got hiding underneath there,” he grins. “I mean, your legs look great. I’m eager to see what else you got.”
Your cheeks heat up once more. “Oh, I wouldn’t be too excited. I don’t have arms like yours.”
Hugh chuckles and looks down at his own arms, flexing them in front of you and you feel the heat rush immediately between your legs. God, he’s just so muscular and chiseled and–
“I’d be impressed if you did,” Hugh winks. “Now come on. If we keep her waiting, she’s just gonna make us pay for it,” he continues, pointing to your trainer before he reaches down to take your hand.
“Ah yeah, that’s a good point. Thanks,” you say, taking his hand as he hoists you up to your feet. You stumble a bit and fall into him, your hands immediately reaching out to brace yourself on his chest. You clear your throat, feeling the hardened muscles underneath your fingertips. His hands fly to your waist to keep you steady and you’re extremely aware of how close you two are.
“Oh, be careful,” he whispers quietly, looking down at you. “Would hate for you to get injured.”
“Good thing I’ve got a big, strong man to brace my fall.”
Hugh chuckles and then releases his hold on you, making you do the same as you both take a step back to create some distance between the both of you. “You’re good for my ego. I’m thinkin’ I’m gonna have to get your number later so that I can be around you all the time.”
“Are you asking me for my number? The Hugh Jackman?”
Hugh laughs. “Would that be alright?”
“I guess we’ll see after today’s training session.” You smile in his direction, feeling more and more confident as the minutes pass. You walk away from him and make your way to your trainer who has two sets of dumbbells next to each other. One set is obviously heavier than the other and you know it’s for Hugh.
“We’re gonna start off with some bicep curls, supersetting it with bent over rows.” Your trainer begins, continuing to list off the rest of what the workout will consist of. You know that you’ve gotten stronger than when you first started and you try not to focus so much on the man next to you and focus solely on improving than the last time you had trained.
“After this superset, we’re gonna then move onto a barbell bench press and we’ll also superset it with push-ups.”
Your trainer continues to speak and you look in the mirror to find that Hugh’s staring at you too. You smile to yourself and then turn your attention to your trainer. She mentions that you will also both be doing squats with a superset of pull-ups. Once she finishes, you watch her make her way to the speaker to turn it up louder.
Throughout the first exercise, you remain focused on your form, inhaling and exhaling when needed. You feel the burn in your biceps when curling the dumbbells and the burn in your back muscles when doing the bent over rows. You’re dripping in sweat and by the time the first superset is finished, you finally lift the ends of your hoodie over your head. You walk over to your things to drop the hoodie into your duffle bag, grabbing your towel to once again wipe away the sweat.
Now dressed only in black spandex shorts and a black sports bra, you look up to see Hugh’s eyes taking in your newly exposed frame. He tries to be subtle with where he’s looking, but when your eyes meet his, a shy smile lines his lips. He mouths sorry and then turns away to walk over to the bench where your trainer is setting up.
“Alright, who wants to go first?” Your trainer asks.
You speak up instantly. “I’ll go first.”
Your trainer smiles. She always loved your eagerness. “Perfect. We’ll warm up with the bar, both of you.” She points to the bench and you nod, brushing past Hugh to lie back on the bench. You arch your back on the bench and reach up to grip onto the barbell above you.
“This should be easy for you,” your trainer says. “Aim for 15, but slow and controlled.”
You nod and unrack the bar before dropping it low to your chest before pressing it back up above you. You focus on your breathing and form as you continue the movements for 15 reps. Once you’re done, you re-rack the barbell and then sit up, looking up at Hugh who’s staring down at you with an impressed look on his face.
“Same thing for you, Hugh.”
Hugh makes the barbell look like it weighs close to nothing, yet he still controls his movements. You can’t help but watch his muscles flex as he presses the bar for the required amount of reps. It does something to you, seeing him like this, focused and completely in his element. You bite your lower lip and then see him stand up from the bench. He walks away for a moment to retrieve his towel and bottle of water, which gives you enough time to add weight to each side of the barbell.
This continues for four sets until the last set, your trainer adds 15 pounds to each side, totaling 75 pounds for you to press. You look over at her with wide eyes. “You think I’m able to do 75 pounds?” you ask genuinely.
“Oh yeah, it’s gonna be easy for you.”
“But what if–”
She interrupts. “Self-talk,” she says simply. “You can do it. Aim for 3 reps. That’s all.”
Then, Hugh gently nudges you with his shoulder. “You can do it,” he comments, adding your name at the end of his sentence. “And if you want, I can spot you.”
The trainer nods, “That’d be great, Hugh.” Hugh then moves to stand at the top of your head and watches you lie back on the bench. You look up, biting your lower lip at how close his lower half is to you and while you should be focused on bench pressing your personal best, you can’t help but your mind drifting to him.
“You ready, love?” Hugh asks, the term of endearment slipping past his lips.
You nod and then place your hands on the bar to unrack before you let it drop slowly to tap your chest before you push it above you with difficulty. It’s heavier than you’ve ever bench pressed before, but having Hugh hover nearby gives you the confidence and strength to do this.
“Great job, that’s one.” Your trainer says and then you continue for the next two reps without any issue. “Go for five,” she adds.
At the last rep, you struggle, but Hugh’s there to help you push the bar above your chest and then re-rack it. You sit up and grin, sweat dripping from your temples as you stand up.
“I did it. Oh my god, I did it.” You say with a grin, practically jumping up and down with pride and you quickly move over to hug Hugh, not realizing what you’re doing. Once you do though, you pull back immediately and the heat in your cheeks begin to rise. “Sorry. I just got excited and–”
“Don’t worry about it,” Hugh smiles, his hand moving to rest on your lower back. “You did great. It’s somethin’ to be proud of.”
“Alright, Hugh. You’re up.” Your trainer says with a smile and his hand slowly drops from your back to then add more weight to the bar.
You move to the mats to do push-ups, but you can’t help but be distracted by Hugh. There is at least one 45 pound plate on each side of the bar and he’s pressing it so easily. His muscles are flexing and you can hear him grunting and it makes you squeeze your legs, clenching around nothing. It’s when he stands up from the bench that he makes eye contact with you and flashes you a wink.
Oh god, you think to yourself. He definitely knows what you were just doing.
Throughout the rest of the workout, you and Hugh train without issue. You find that you train really well together, pushing each other to the limit, but also very considerate once you’ve each hit that limit. When it came time to squats though, you find that Hugh’s eyes are glued onto you with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes take in your frame, lingering on your legs and definitely your backside. You pride yourself in the strength you have with squats, being able to add a 45 and a 25 lb plate to each side, totaling 185.
“Oh, you can do way more than 185,” Hugh says with a chuckle. “That’s way too easy for you.”
“That’s exactly what I said last week,” your trainer laughs. “I think you can at least add another ten pounds each side.”
“That’d be 205 total,” you say hesitantly. “I don’t know…”
“Come on. Let’s add ten each side.” Hugh says, grabbing two ten pound plates and handing one to your trainer. He slides one on one side of the bar while your trainer does the other side. He motions for you to get in position and then steps behind you. “I got you. I’ll spot you again.”
“But–”
“Self-talk,” your trainer calls out.
“Fine.” You get underneath the barbell and place it between your shoulder blades as your hands come up to grip the bar. You take a deep breath, looking in front of you in the mirror and seeing Hugh nod reassuringly. “If I’m not able to squat this–”
“You got this,” Hugh interrupts. “It’s all in the mind, love. You gotta believe you can do it.”
Love. The term of endearment actually motivates you and you take a deep breath before unracking the bar and taking three steps backwards. The bar rests heavily between your shoulders as you squeeze your shoulder blades tight and then you take a deep breath and slowly lower yourself to a squat. Hugh squats with you, arms stretched outwards underneath your own and then stands up once you do. He sees you struggle a bit, but then he watches as you push through your heels until you stand back upright.
“See, easy,” he whispers into your ear.
“You’re distracting me,” you call over your shoulder.
Hugh chuckles and then lets you continue your set of reps. He’s in awe of you. There’s not a lot of people that can keep up with him or his trainer, but he finds your dedication and eagerness to push yourself incredibly attractive. He finds you incredibly attractive. He isn’t paying attention until you re-reack the bar and accidentally bump into him, your backside fully pressed against his front.
Your trainer wasn’t in the room at the moment, having had to leave to go to the bathroom, so luckily, she wasn’t here to witness the tension that begins to thicken in the air again. Hugh’s hand darts out to rest on your hip, realizing that you were not stepping away from him.
“You’re impressive,” Hugh whispers, hand tightening on your hip. He feels you push back against him and he growls lowly into your ear. “You keep that up, love and–”
“Hugh,” you whisper, slowly turning around to look up at him. Your hands move to his chest, feeling him flex underneath your fingertips. His other hand comes up to rest on your other hip, pulling you flush against him as the front of your bodies press against one another. “We’re all sweaty,” you point out.
“Doesn’t bother me.”
“I think I like having you as my training partner,” you say quietly.
“Training partner, huh? I like the sound of that.”
“So, about my number…” you begin, biting your lower lip.
“Yeah?”
You really want it?”
Hugh nods. “Yeah, I really want it.”
You can’t help but notice the true meaning behind both of your words and you’re about to lean in when you hear the sound of a door opening. Quickly, you pull back from Hugh and look up at him. He’s smiling in your direction and then moves away to remove the weight off the bar.
“Let’s finish this session and then we can talk.”
—
After two hours, you and Hugh finally finish the training session with your trainer. You’re lying on your back on the mats, trying to cool down and catch your breath before your trainer gently nudges your foot. You sit up and then stand on your feet.
“Are you okay with Hugh joining us more regularly? You two are good partners.” she says, arms crossed over her chest.
“Yeah, that’s fine with me. That was a really good workout,” you point out.
“Good workout because he was here or because–”
“Because of you!” you interrupt with a chuckle. “And it helps that he’s here too.”
She laughs. “You did really well today. I know you got in your head a few times there, but you showed up for yourself. How do you feel?”
You shrug. “I’m a work in progress, but today was a good day. I’d consider it a win.”
“Good,” she replies. “I’m proud of you. It’s not easy, but you’re putting yourself first and that’s a huge improvement from when we first met.”
“I’m trying,” you say. “Taking it day by day, but I’m feeling good about myself. I feel like I finally have control again.”
“Well, you deserve all the good things in this world. You just gotta believe that too. I’ll see you next week.” Your trainer walks away to start cleaning up and she waves at Hugh who’s walking towards you now.
He leans down to grab his bag and drapes it over his shoulder as he looks down at you. “So, I think we’re training partners now.”
“I heard,” you smile. “Will that be okay? I know you have extreme training to do to become Wolverine again, but–”
“Of course it will be okay. Seeing you push yourself out of your comfort zone helps push me out of mine. This will be a good thing. Trust me.”
“Oh, I’ve done a lot of trusting you today,” you tease, grabbing your bag and slinging it across your body. You both wave at your personal trainer before leaving the gym and walking outside to your cars.
“And I haven’t failed yet, have I?” he asks, walking alongside you to your car.
“No. No, you haven’t.”
“Good,” Hugh smiles. “I don’t plan to.” He watches you place your duffle bag into your trunk and then before he could speak, you reach your hand out, palm facing upwards. “What?”
“Phone please, sir.”
Hugh’s eyes narrow down at you. Sir. He wants to push you against your car and just devour you, but he has to refrain himself. He reaches for his phone and then hands it to you, watching as you type away. Once you return it back to him, he looks down at his phone and lets out a soft chuckle. He sees your number, but then he notices the name that you entered.
Training partner 💪
“Oh, very clever,” he smiles.
“Maybe if I get as muscular as you, we’ll upgrade that to swole-mate.”
Hugh laughs, his nose wrinkling as the sound of his laughter comes deep from within. It makes you smile that you’re able to make him laugh. You had put him on a pedestal for being a famous actor, but after spending just a few hours with him today, he’s so much more normal than you thought.
“Swole-mate, huh?” Hugh says after his laughter slowly dies down. “Is that a play on word for soulmate?”
“Maybe,” you chuckle. “It’s dorky, I know. I was just kidding.”
“No, I like it. You don’t have to be muscular to be my swole-mate. So, I’m just gonna go ahead and change that.” He then types away on his phone and then turns it in your direction.
You smile to yourself and see the new name that’s now attached to your number.
Swole-mate 💪
“Perfect,” you say with a smile.
“I think so.” Hugh responds, staring deeply into your eyes. “So, I guess I’ll see you next week.”
“Yes, you will. Thank you for spotting me today… And pushing me.”
“Happy to do it.” Hugh winks. “Get home safe.”
“You too, Hugh.”
—
Later that night, you stare at your phone and realize that while you had given your number to Hugh, he hadn’t given you his. You try to reflect on today’s events, but your mind keeps drifting to Hugh. There was certainly something there between the both of you, something unspoken. You convince yourself that the attraction is mutual – after all, you couldn’t help but think back to that moment at the squat rack. You felt every inch of him when you pressed back into him and his hands on your hips–
You sigh, trying to shake the thoughts out of your mind. There was no way that someone like Hugh Jackman would be interested in someone like you. He’s famous and he could have any woman he wanted and you… Well, you were just normal.
Your mind continues to drift, but you feel your phone vibrate. It takes you out of your thoughts and you look down to see an unsaved number. Opening the message, a smile begins to line your lips and your heart begins to flutter with emotions you hadn’t felt in a very long time.
UNKNOWN: Hello, swole-mate.
You don’t even need to ask who it is because before you can even respond, another message pops up.
UNKNOWN: It’s Hugh, by the way.
You lie back on your bed, phone in your hand as you stare up at it with a goofy grin on your face. It feels like you’re a teenager all over again talking to your crush. You then add his number to your contacts list and add the same name that he has on his.
YOU: Hello, Hugh.
Then, after a few seconds, your phone begins to ring. You answer it without hesitation and hear his voice on the other end of the line. It sounds so much deeper and his accent is thicker as he begins to talk.
“I had to make sure you gave me your actual number,” Hugh chuckles.
“Why would I give you a fake number? When Hugh Jackman asks for your number, you gotta give the right one.”
He laughs. “You know, I’m a normal person too.”
You smile to yourself. “You’re the Wolverine, Hugh. I think saying you’re normal isn’t doing you justice.”
“What would you call me then?” He asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Hot, maybe?” Hugh teases.
“Okay, okay. That got to your head, didn’t it?”
You can hear Hugh laugh all day if you could. It’s so infectious and it makes you giggle too. “Maybe. Just surprised that someone like you thinks an old man like me is hot.”
“Here we go with the old man thing again,” you giggle. “Have you seen yourself, Hugh? You don’t strike me as old.”
“Oh, well my bones and joints will disagree with you, love.”
Love. There it is again and your stomach feels like it’s doing flips.
“You know, you are very distracting, Hugh.”
“Yeah? Am I distracting you right now?”
“Maybe…”
Hugh chuckles and then responds, “You’re very distracting too.”
“And we’re training partners,” you say with a quiet laugh.
“Actually, we’re swole-mates.”
You can’t help but laugh as you turn onto your tummy and bury your face into your pillow. Your cheeks are heating up as you hear Hugh’s voice on the other end.
“What’s so funny?”
“Can’t believe I got you to say swole-mates.”
Hugh chuckles. “Listen, um…” You can hear him breathing on the other end and it seems like he’s hesitating. Nervous. Anxious, maybe.
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to come by my place and have lunch after our workout next week?” He finally asks.
You bite your lower lip and without hesitation, you reply. “That’d be great. Are you gonna cook for me, Hugh?”
Hugh lets out a breath of relief and then chuckles. “That’s the plan, yeah.”
“Oh, then I’d love to have lunch with you.”
“I’ll pick you up and we can ride together to the gym?” He asks.
“That sounds great, Hugh.” You can’t help but imagine all of the different things that could happen and you can just feel Hugh’s hands on your hips, his length pressed against you as it was earlier. You need it. You need him. You weren’t the type of person to indulge in casual relationships, but after your last and most recent failed relationship, it’s time you prioritize yourself (and that includes your needs and desires).
“Alright then, love. We should call it a night.”
“Okay, Hugh. I’ll text you my address.”
“Perfect. Good night,” he says softly.
“Good night, Hugh.”
You hang up the phone and then look up at the ceiling once you roll onto your back. You have one week until you see him next and you’re sure that something will happen and it excites you. Hugh excites you.
Before you go to bed that night, you send a text to Hugh with your address. Within a few seconds, he replies.
HUGH: Great. Can’t wait to see you next week. Good night, love.
#hugh jackman#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman x f!reader#hugh jackman x fem!reader#real person fiction#real person fanfiction#real person fanfic#story: training partners
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—lost in translation.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
genre: a little angst, fluff, best friend’s little brother au, friends to lovers, pininggggg, miscommunication (gone right?)
word count: 5.2k
summary: hyunjin needed answers and he needed them now. even if it meant showing up at your place late at night with a few drinks in his system, ready for things to go either terribly wrong or incredibly right.
warnings: miscommunication, mentions of alcohol and drinking
author’s note: hellooo, and thank you so much for being so patient<3 this is part 23 of my social media au “heart out”. part 24 will be written as well, so don’t worry if there were a few things left unsaid in this one lol. as always, i hope you guys enjoy! if you do, please don’t forget to leave an ask or a comment telling me your thoughts on it<3
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Hyunjin was usually a very chill and spontaneous person. He did things when he felt like it, without really giving it much thought. If he wanted to do something and it felt right, then why would he hold back? He could always deal with the consequences of his own actions later.
When it came to you, however, he was the complete opposite.
Ever since he met you, he had been tiptoeing his way around your heart.
He wanted to do things right when it came to you, and, as a result, his interactions with you throughout the years tended to end up with him overthinking instead of doing.
Starting with him hiding his feelings and keeping his interactions with you to the minimum when he was still a high schooler, to him still hiding his feelings while trying to get closer to you when he entered university, to then still say nothing about them when you started dating Mingyu, up until now, that he finally got another shot at getting close to you, yet he still refused to confess his feelings until you were ready to hear it.
And that was the thing, if it were up to him and acting accordingly to how he felt in the moment, he would’ve confessed a long time ago — probably back in his first year of university, particularly when he found out you and Mingyu were dating and he felt like calling you up and letting it all out. But he wouldn’t, because although it would be a huge weight to get off his shoulders, he wouldn’t want you to deal with the burden of knowing he loved you when you didn’t love him back; not like that, at least.
He wouldn’t confess, because he didn’t want you to feel bad for not being there just yet, if ever.
He didn’t want to ruin what the two of you had because of a whim, and so he decided to deal with his feelings on his own. Until he knew for sure that you were ready to hear a confession from him, he wouldn’t say the words out loud to you.
Of course, that was up until this evening.
After coming to the conclusion that Dahye had followed her word and told you about his feelings for you, and having you distance yourself from him ever since, which could only mean you didn’t feel the same and were preparing to turn him down; and, furthermore, after hearing from Yeji that you wouldn’t mind going out with her twenty three year old coworker once you were ready to date again, there was no room in his head for him to think of the consequences of confessing to you anymore.
If you were turning him down anyway, if you were going out with someone else anyway… if he was losing you anyway, then what did he have to lose by finally letting you know how deeply he felt for you?
Maybe it was the alcohol he’d been consuming with his friends that night, or maybe it was just him simply not giving a fuck anymore — maybe both.
Whatever it was, it was giving him the final push he needed, for he was now standing outside your building, ignoring the freezing breeze of the night —as the black cotton sportswear he was wearing did little to nothing to keep him warm—, while he desperately texted you in hopes of you being awake and letting him come up, so you would finally get to talk and turn him down if that’s what you wanted to do in the end.
If you were turning him down at one point in the next two days, he would rather have you do it now.
He felt like he was going insane; like no matter what the outcome was, whether you turned him down or not, he would collapse if he didn’t get an answer within the next few minutes.
When you wouldn’t answer his texts and there were no signs of you being online, he decided to call you instead. He wasn’t giving up that easily that night, if at all.
It only took one missed call and ten more seconds waiting on the line for you to pick up.
“Hyunie?” Your sleepy yet worried voice was enough to quiet his running thoughts down. “Something happened? Are you alright?”
He stayed silent for a moment, staring up at your window.
“Hyunie?” You repeated. He heard you shift in your bed, and then he saw the light in your room turn on. “Are you there?”
“Can I come up?” He asked quietly.
Silence filled the line for a moment. “What?”
“I texted you… I think you didn’t see it” he explained. “I’m outside your building. Can I please come up? I know it’s late, but I need to talk to you now”.
“Y-Yeah… of course” you failed to hide how taken aback you were. “Help yourself in”.
“Okay…”
Hanging up, his eyes went to the front door to your building, and he suddenly felt the weight of what was about to come on his shoulders. But he was already here, and even if he turned around and went home instead, he knew he would not be able to sleep for the second night in a row as long as he didn’t clear things up with you.
He was already here and you were waiting for him upstairs, so he might as well rushed up to you.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Entering the passcode he knew by heart, he made his way into your place; taking off his shoes and putting on the slippers you kept by the door for your guests, which he knew were pretty much his by now.
As expected, all the lights were out except from the one in your bedroom, where he caught you coming out from.
He would never get tired of seeing you barefaced; and the slightly messy hair you were running your fingers through in a quick attempt to fix, along with the pastel pink silk pyjamas you were wearing, could only make him adore you even more. However, you looked tired, and he couldn’t help but feel bad for waking you up.
“Hey” he mumbled, suddenly feeling the madness inside his head calm down at the mere sight of you.
“Hey…” you softly greeted him back, leaning against your doorframe and resting your head on it. “Did something happen?”
He denied with his head, coming closer to you. “Just couldn’t wait anymore to talk to you, I’m sorry”.
“It’s okay,” you reassured him, slightly frowning when you got a closer look at him. “Have you been drinking?”
A small, surprised pout formed on his lips. What gave it away? His eyes? Was he reeking of alcohol? Or did you know him so well that a simple look at him was enough for you to tell when something was off?
“Just had a few drinks with the boys, it’s nothing” he brushed it off.
“You didn’t drive here, did you?”
“No, of course not” he was the one to frown this time. “I’m fine, though”.
You said nothing, but he caught the hesitation in your eyes.
“I’m fine, Y/N” he reassured you one last time. “I didn’t drink that much anyway”.
Just enough for his inhibitions to shut down; not enough not to realise what he was doing.
“Okay…” you decided to believe him.
With a light tilt of your head, you invited him into your room, where the lightning was better — although the dim light coming from the white lamp on your nightstand could only make him feel sleepier.
You sat down on the edge of your unmade bed, as you’d been sleeping up until he called you, and motioned for him to do the same. Once he did, silence was fast to take over.
“Um… I’m not—I wasn’t really prepared to talk about this now,” you messily tried to come up with the right way to approach the issue. “So I don’t know where to begin, if I’m honest…”
He understood what you were feeling perfectly. In all honesty, although he had come all the way over here to get the answer he so badly needed, he, too, didn’t know where to begin.
There was so much to say, so much to ask, so many ways to word his questions, that his mind went blank.
So, he said the first thing he could think of right then.
“Dahye told you, didn’t she?”
You looked distressed at the mention of her, and that was enough for him to get the answer he was dreading. “Sorry?”
“She talked to you?” He rephrased it.
“Mhm…” you nodded, looking down to your lap. “She did”.
“And is that why you’ve been so distant?” Hyunjin asked carefully.
You nodded again, silently. “I’m sorry, I just needed some time to think” your eyes went back up to lock with his. “How’d you know she talked to me?”
“She kinda threatened me with telling you, so…” he rolled his eyes.
“Oh… that’s…”
Crazy. She was crazy.
Hyunjin nodded, not needing to hear any words coming out of your mouth to understand what you wanted to say. “I know. I should learn not to underestimate her”.
“Yeah, I probably should, too…” you smiled weakly. “Good thing I realised something was off and didn’t believe her in the end”.
“Wait, what?” His eyebrows furrowed.
Something was off? You didn’t believe her?
“I didn’t believe her,” you repeated. “I was a bit shaken up at first, and that’s why I took some distance from you. I just needed to think about it with a cold head, but all along I didn’t want to believe it was true, so ultimately I didn’t. It didn’t sound like you at all”.
Was he tripping? Was he really way more drunk than he thought for your words to make no sense to him?
“You didn’t… want to?” Hyunjin’s heart ached, mostly hung up on those words of yours. “Would it be that bad if it was true?”
“Yes,” you replied in a heartbeat. “I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you if that was the case, Hyunjin”.
I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you if Dahye will always be there and I knew you’d go back to her whenever you get tired of me; is what you meant.
It would be bad if it was true that you’re in love with me, because I wouldn’t be able to let myself fall for you and ever love you back; is what he heard.
Just like that, for the fourth time in his life, once again because of you, his heart broke.
Although he’d come here knowing well enough that getting turned down by you was a very high possibility, actually hearing you so tactlessly say those words to him right then, and getting every chance of ever being with you crushed into pieces just like that, had his heart hurting in a way it had never before.
Feeling physically ill and finding it hard to breathe, he stood up, pacing around your room for a few seconds before he looked for support on the wall by leaning his back on it.
This might’ve been his worst heartbreak yet, for unlike the previous times, he’d let himself be led on. This time, he really thought that there was something going on between the two of you. All the reciprocated flirting and touches… had it all been him? Did you really not realise what you’d been doing to him all along?
“Hyunie…” you whispered, feeling your own heart break at the sight of him and going up to him, unable to give into your own sorrow as he seemed to have just confirmed that what Dahye told you was indeed true.
He closed his eyes as he tilted his head up to keep the tears from coming out of them.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
He defeatedly shook his head when you placed your hand on his shoulder, rubbing his hands on his eyes to wipe the oncoming tears before he tried to walk away. “I’m sorry, this wasn’t a good—I can’t, I should leave” he apologised.
“So it’s true then?” You asked, grabbing his wrist for him to stay.
He shook his head no, and for just a moment there you felt relief, before he finally turned around and looked at you with reddened eyes. “Of course it’s true” his bottom lip trembled. “Why wouldn’t it be? Did I really get it all wrong?”
Your eyebrows knitted together, understanding this entire situation less and less by the second. “Get what wrong?”
“This,” he repeatedly pointed his finger from you to him. “Us. Whatever it is that I thought was going on between us”.
“Hyunjin…”
“I knew I was getting my hopes up too fast, but I thought,” he paused for a moment, shaking his head in disbelief over his own delusions. “All this time I thought what kept holding you back was our age gap, but turns out the problem was never my age, but me”.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’d be willing to go out with that one other guy who’s also my age, so it was clearly never the problem”.
“What guy?”
“You know what guy”.
“Felix?” You pinpointed, not really knowing any other guys his age. Not like you particularly knew Felix either anyway. “I’m not going out with him”.
“You said you wouldn’t mind him being twenty three, though”.
“Because I don’t care about age, not because I want to date him” you tried to defend yourself. “Weren’t you the one who told me to consider dating younger guys?”
“Exactly, I told you that. Me. I said it so you would at some point consider me, not so you would start looking at other guys my age” he clarified.
“Hyunjin, I’m not—Why does age suddenly matter so much to you?”
“Because if you’re willing to date a guy who’s three years younger than you, then why can’t it be me?!”
You froze.
During all the years you had known him, you had never seen him lose his temper. He was always calm, rational. Had he ever even raised his voice in your presence other than when he got excited about something?
This was a side of him you’d never seen before, and it broke you.
Seeing him look so hopeless and sound so defeated right then, made you feel like holding him and never let go of him.
Things were moving too fast, though, and when you wanted to reach for his face and wipe the tear that had just rolled down one of his cheeks, he beat you to it; harshly wiping his face with his hands, as he refused to look away from you.
“All this time I’ve done nothing but pour my heart out to you. I’m so… so fucking in love with you it hurts me, Y/N. There are times when it physically pains me to love you this much,” he confessed.
Right now, it was one of those times.
“I’ve done everything in my hands for you to stop seeing me like the teenage boy you met back then, for you to stop seeing me just like Yeji’s little brother, and I know you’re not ready for a relationship yet, but I was willing to wait for as long as you needed me to until you were, because I was delusional enough to believe that I could actually make you fall for me” a breathless, humorless laugh abandoned his lips. “And now it turns out you just won’t ever feel the way I feel for you, and this guy shows up out of nowhere and gets everything I’ve tried to get from you right away without even moving a finger, and I just… I don’t know where to go from here”.
Your heart squeezed inside your chest.
Of all the things you were expecting as the outcome of your talk, a confession wasn’t one of them. Not this kind of confession, at least.
You were speechless. Not only did you not know what to say, but even if you did, you were sure your voice would betray you by not coming out when you opened your mouth.
Hyunjin loved you.
It wasn’t just a crush like you thought. It wasn’t him looking for something casual like you feared. No, he loved you. He was serious about you.
Why did you feel so happy yet so afraid about his feelings for you being so strong?
He took a step towards you, and you felt your heartbeat raise when his face was only a couple of inches away from yours and his breathing began to mix with yours.
“I don’t wanna give up on you, Y/N, I don’t. But I just don’t kn—What do I have to do for you to consider me?” He asked, pulling you closer by your waist. “What does he have that I don’t?”
“I’m not going out with him, Hyunjin” you repeated in a whisper, hoping this time he would believe you.
Whether he believed you or not, he leaned in closer, faintly brushing his nose with yours. “What do I have to do for you to give me a chance then?”
“Hyun…”
“I’ll do anything,” he said, cupping your face and making you lock eyes with him. “Just tell me what and I’ll do it”.
You slowly shook your head no, unable to get any kind of word out of your mouth. Was it not obvious enough already that you did feel something for him? Had the way you talked to him and how you acted around him not been enough for him to get that you liked him as something more than just a friend? As way more than just your best friend’s brother?
You couldn’t find the right words to tell him that. The only thing you could do was to stare into his eyes, and then down into his lips, feeling the tension between the two of you grow by the second.
Hyunjin caught up on that immediately, leaning closer, so he could brush his mouth on yours for a second, before he closed the gap that kept them from touching.
Only you beat him to it.
Had you waited one more second, he would’ve been the one to press his lips on yours.
But you did not.
Instead, you were the one to press your mouth on his.
You were the one to kiss him first.
You were kissing him.
And he froze.
His right hand was still cupping your face, his left one remained on your waist, and his eyes had naturally closed the moment he felt the heavenly pressure of your lips on his. But he froze nevertheless.
For the first few seconds, he was too stunned, too overwhelmed —in the best way possible— to even react. And, unfortunately, a few seconds was all the kiss lasted; for he missed your touch right when he was about to kiss you back.
“I’m sorry” you apologised right as you pulled away and covered your mouth with your hands, as if only then coming to your senses. “Hyunie, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t—”
That was as much as you got to say, for in a second he had already removed your hands from your mouth and replaced them with his lips.
You’d be damned if you thought you could get away with letting him get a taste of your lips only to deprive him of you all over again.
You kissed him back right away, going against your poorly attempted apology, and driving him crazy when you wrapped your arms over his shoulders. His hands that had been previously cupping your face were now on your waist, pulling you closer to his body as he tried to feel you as close to him as he could.
He kissed you like he needed you, like he’d been deprived of you for decades and was only now allowed to get a taste of you; and yet, he managed to be so gentle that you were left craving more by the second, whilst wanting him to kiss you just like that for a little longer.
After all, you didn’t know he had been dreaming of this moment for nearly seven years now.
Just like you, he, too, started wanting more. Pulling your hips harder against his and getting a small gasp of yours to part your lips, he took the chance to delve his tongue in your mouth — unable to keep the corners of his lips from curving slightly up when he felt your tongue massage his right back.
With your breathings becoming heavier, and without even dreaming of letting go of your lips just yet, Hyunjin made you take a couple of steps back, until your legs reached your bed and you instinctively sat down on it, allowing him to lean over you as he followed your mouth.
“You’re drunk…” you managed to whisper, right after you laid back on the mattress and his mouth sucked on your bottom lip once more.
“I’m fine, I’m fin—I’m perfect” he whispered in between kisses.
He was perfect. Being with you like this, with him hovering over you while your fingers gently dug into his hair and your mouths so deliciously sucked on each other, he could not be anything other than perfect.
Kissing you felt like a dream, and a part of him was afraid that it was one.
“No, Hyunjin…” you mumbled, only a couple of seconds later. “We shouldn’t be doing this…”
“Why not?” He asked, pulling slightly away from you — not enough for your lips to stop brushing.
“I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now” you confessed what his sister had told him earlier that night and, therefore, what he already knew. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have kissed you”.
“No, don’t be sorry for kissing me. Anything but that, Y/N. You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to kiss you all this time” he tenderly ran his thumb up and down on your cheekbone. “I can wait until you’re ready. Starting tomorrow morning I’ll wait all you need me to, but right now just… let me kiss you for a little longer”.
Having him whisper those words when his mouth was faintly touching yours, could only make you feel yourself give in to his plea.
“Hm?” He asked, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. “One more and I’ll stop”.
Unable to speak, as it seemed to be the norm that night, you closed your eyes; and that was enough for him to take the hint and replace the thumb on your bottom lip with his mouth, sweetly sucking on it before he softly traced it with his tongue, for you to let him in and meet him midway.
The desperation of your second kiss was no longer there, as he now took his time to engrave in his memory every single second of your mouth sucking on his and your tongue massaging his own. He didn’t know when he would ever get to kiss you again, after all, and he wanted to take in as much as he could of it.
He wanted to take his time now; and kiss you slowly, deeply, lovingly.
When you were both left panting for air, he rested his forehead on yours, cupping your nape with his hand and digging his fingers in your hair before he hid his face in the crook of your neck, as a breathy laugh abandoned his mouth.
“You’re driving me crazy” he confessed.
“I should be the one saying that,” you chuckled rather sadly. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me anymore, Hyunjin…”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re confusing me so much right now. You say you love me and you make me feel so special, but then you go and…” you sighed, feeling him slowly withdraw his face from your neck as he tried to understand your point. “I wish it was that easy, but I can’t let myself fall for you now that I know what Dahye said is true”.
“I swear you’re making me question how much I actually drank, because that doesn’t make any sense and—You can’t do this to me, Y/N” his piercing eyes fixed on yours, and the way his voice sounded so calm now could only make your body tense up under him. “You can’t just kiss me and then tell me that…” he sighed, attempting to collect his thoughts. “If you don’t feel ready for a relationship I get it, and I’ll wait. I’ll wait for as long as you need me to, baby, that’s never been a problem. But you can’t just tell me that you’ll never love me back and then kiss me only to turn m—”
“When did I ever say I’d never love you back?” You questioned.
“When we were talking earlier?” He tilted his head in confusion. “I asked you if it would be so bad if what Dahye told you was true and you said yes”.
“Yes,” you agreed. “Because I can’t put myself through the hell your messy relationship with her would bring me”.
His eyebrows knitted together. “What messy relationship?”
“You know…” you avoided his eyes, only then being hit with how much the thought of him with someone else actually affected you. “This whole ‘fuck buddies’ thing and you going back to her no matter who you are with”.
“That’s ridiculous” he blurted out, almost offended that such an atrocity had just left your mouth. “Where did you even get that from?”
“That’s what Dahye told me” you said.
“That’s what…” the puzzle pieces finally connected in his head. “Is that why you said you wouldn’t be able to fall for me?”
“Yes?” You tilted your head questioningly. “Isn’t that what we were talking about all along?”
He should be mad at Dahye right then. He should want to scream at her for playing with the two of you like this.
Any other time, he would’ve been fuming. Right then, however, with your troubled expression as you didn’t get what was going on, with your pretty lips all swollen from how hard he’d been kissing you up until a minute ago, and having experienced such a wide range of emotions in a matter of minutes, he could only laugh.
Tilting his head back and letting a throaty laugh escape his mouth, he slumped back next to you on your mattress and covered his face with both hands, as he let his laughter take over him.
Nervousness, madness, embarrassment, relief, happiness; it was all mixed up into one loud, painful laughing fit.
He felt like a maniac, feeling you stare at him in worry and obliviousness, but he couldn’t find it in him to stop laughing.
“What’s so funny?” You wondered when he struggled to catch his breath.
“She lied” he explained, finally feeling like his laughter was coming to an end.
“She lied?”
“She lied” he confirmed, removing his hands from his face and wiping a couple of tears off his eyes before he locked them with you. “I don’t like her at all, Y/N. We hardly ever even talk, why would I—” he took in a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling as he felt like he was going crazy. “Can’t believe I cried for nothing”.
You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth, both over his last remark and over how relieved you felt to know it was all a misunderstanding, and that you had been right not to believe her in the first place.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t clear enough” you pouted, gently cupping his face when he turned to you.
He shook his head no, letting you know it was okay as he placed his hand on yours. “I didn’t specify either, so I was at fault, too” he smiled softly. “And we probably wouldn’t have ended up kissing if I hadn’t gotten so heated up anyway, so it was totally worth it”.
“You’re an idiot” you laughed once again, smiling when he leaned in and rested his forehead on yours.
“You still kissed me, though” he pointed out, bringing some heat to your cheeks. “Does that mean I actually have a chance now?”
“Was me kissing you not a good enough answer to that?”
“Kisses can mean nothing to some people, so…”
“I’m not one of those people, Hyunie” you let him know.
“Good,” he smiled, pulling you to his chest. “Because kissing you meant everything to me”.
You wrapped an arm around him, nuzzling the fabric of the black sweatshirt he was wearing and taking in his scent you loved so much.
“Shouldn’t we properly talk about what Dahye told us?” You mumbled.
“That, and about where we’re standing now, too” he agreed, sweetly tracing his fingertips up and down your back. “My head hurts now, though. I feel like I’m spiraling, I went through too many emotions in too little time”.
You giggled, looking up at him. “You want to continue this conversation tomorrow? When we’re both a little less overwhelmed?”
“Yeah…” he nodded. “I can sleep peacefully now that I know you feel something for me, too”.
You chuckled, making his bottom lip stick out in confusion when you pulled away from him and sat up on your bed. “It’s late, you can sleep here tonight. I’ll take the couch”.
He grabbed your wrist before you could get up. “Stay with me?”
“Hyun…” you hesitated.
“I won’t try anything, I promise” he was fast to say, well aware of where your hesitation was coming from. “Just need to feel you close tonight”.
If he was honest, any other time, he would’ve offered to take the couch and that would’ve been the end of it, but tonight he really needed your closeness. He needed to know you were there, to feel you next to him. And, thankfully for him, you needed just the same.
Silently motioning for him to get under the covers, you let him know you agreed to his request. He smiled widely, pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek before he did as told — making you laugh wholeheartedly when you got under the sheets as well and he wasted no time to pull you to his chest again and to tuck you in with him.
This entire day had been a mess. Hell, the whole fucking week had been unbearable. But you had been able to talk it out at last. Although messily, you now seemed to be on the same page about everything; from your feelings, to what you were looking for, to where the whole misunderstanding had originated.
This may not have been the conversation the two of you were expecting to have, but it was coming soon enough. Tonight, you could just go to sleep in each other’s arms, knowing what each other’s lips felt and tasted like, and with the certainty that your feelings were reciprocated.
Neither of you would have it any other way.
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part twenty-two —other parts
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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader words: 5.2k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn’t here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: I'm sorry lmaooo nine months... hopefully we can finish this thing!
B
"Hold him close to your chest, or he'll jump out of your arms. Here—like this."
Blue gently cradles the rabbit, then carefully tucks him into Ari's arms, guiding his hands to scoop under Grim's fluffy rear. She can't help but find it amusing that the boy who had taken her riding on such a large animal yesterday looks so wary holding a harmless bunny. A giggle bubbles up, and she bites her lip to keep it in.
"He's so... squirmy."
Blue keeps her hand on Grim, reassuring both the rabbit and him. "He's just ready for his breakfast. Want to help me feed him?"
"Sure."
Blue leads Ari to the hutch where the other rabbits are. She explains her morning routine, showing him how to supply the rabbits with enough grass, leaves, and berries to keep them healthy and plump. Not long ago, she was explaining this to Twix—the very person she forgot to say good morning to in a rush to find Ari outside. This time around, she wonders if Ari is genuinely interested or just being polite. She finds herself stealing glances at his face, studying his expressions perhaps longer than she should. His almond-shaped eyes and dark pink lips catch her attention.
He's cute.
It's not the first time the thought has crossed her mind since these strangers appeared. Cute like the men in her magazines, though he's not quite a man. Not in the way Ghost is. But he's taller than her by a head and two years older, evident in the notch on his throat and the deeper timbre of his voice.
But it doesn't matter. They are only here for a few days.
Blue closes the hutch and rocks on the soles of her boots. "Well, that was probably boring, huh? We could, um, go hunting if you want. Or to the pond. It's fun to swim there. Or maybe—" She pauses, mentally sifting through the limited activities available, frustration creeping in as none of them seem particularly impressive.
"This wasn't boring. Now I know rabbits are just as friendly as horses." He smiles.
"They are... except when Grim gets mad. Then he can be a bit of a jerk. Like if you accidentally step on his tail."
"I'd be pretty pissed if someone stepped on my tail, too."
"You don't have a tail."
"It's just a joke."
"Oh..." she fidgets with a strand of hair. "Right."
"The pond sounds good. It is fucking hot." Ari blows out a breath and swipes at the back of his neck.
"I know. So hot. Hot as balls."
Ari raises an amused brow. "Yeah, uh, hot as balls. Are you allowed to go by yourself, or do we need to ask your dad?"
"I get to do what I want," she lies easily with a shrug. "Buuuuut, we can ask Twix to go with us."
As long as Twix is with her, she suspects she can get away with not asking Ghost, who luckily is hunting with his old captain. It's not that he seems distrusting with these people as he did those first few months with Twix. Rather—she isn't thrilled about him knowing every little thing she does. She's never had anything just to herself.
Twix is sitting on the porch, looking rather deep in thought as she skins a squirrel. Her hair is long, curtaining her face. When Blue asks if she wants to go to the pond, she agrees easily, claiming she has been meaning to cut her hair anyway with the encroaching warmth of summer. Nereida joins, too.
Even early, the air is sticky, and the pond is cool and inviting. Ari rips his shirt off and jumps in without even a second to waste. Blue usually swims in her underwear and shirt, but she hesitates with her thumb in the belt loops of her jeans. She didn't consider that he would see her in her underwear.
A soft touch to her shoulder. It's Twix. "Want me to grab you shorts real quick?"
"Um... yes. Yes please."
She changes into the shorts behind a tree. There is an odd pit in her stomach when she gets in the water. She doesn't quite know what it is, but it's similar to how she feels when she's scared sometimes. Ghost always tells her fear is a useless thing. It doesn't keep you alive. So she ignores it, shoves it down deep, and swims over to Ari with a purposeful splash that even wets Twix, who sits at the edge sharpening her knife.
"Damn. That's gonna cost you."
A splash is given in return, and then they are playing. High noon bounces shimmering light off the water as she tries to keep up with him, but at one point he sneaks up on her and she ends up with a mouthful. Nereida spends her time picking at some bunches of rosemary and Twix cuts her hair. But Blue doesn't notice any of that too much. When the water stills and they pause to catch their breath, Ari climbs onto a rock and shakes out his wet hair. She is quick to find a perch beside him. Absentmindedly, she pinches the bottom of her wet shirt to keep it from sticking to her chest.
"Woah. What happened here?"
Ari leans over to tap her thigh.
"Oh—" she looks down at the thick scar, "I got shot there."
"Shit. You've been shot before?"
She nods and he moves his hand. "That's your battle scar."
"Battle scar?"
He smiles, eyes gleaming. "It's nice to have some place to swim so close by. Back at our old camp, there was lake but it was a few miles away, so my mom rarely let me go."
"I'm sorry, you know. About your mom. Mine is dead, too."
He half-smiles. "Thanks. I don't think about it too much anymore. My uncle and I have always been close so it helped to have him there." He nudges her shoulder. "You're damn lucky to have such a cool dad, huh?"
"Ghost?"
"Yeah, that guy is a beast. My uncle says they called him Ghost because no one could ever see him coming before suddenly, they were dead."
"Oh, yeah, he is super cool," she quickly agrees. "He has taught me a lot."
"Shit, really?"
Nibbling the inside of her cheek, she shrugs to feign indifference. "I know how to throw knives pretty well."
"I gotta see that." His smirk etches a light dimple into his cheek. Then, his eyes flash behind her. "So what's up with his girlfriend?"
"Huh?" A divot forms between her brows before she follows his gaze, landing on Twix, whose hair is now just past her shoulders. She is wetting it, running her fingers through the newly cut strands. "Oh—Twix. That is not his girlfriend. She is my friend."
"You mean they don't sleep together?"
"Like in the same bed?"
"That's usually where people fuck, yeah."
He seems ready to laugh. She frowns, head tilting as confusion hums in her chest. "You mean like sex?"
He nods. "You know what that is, right?"
"Yeah, of course. I know all about it."
"You know they're probably doing it, right?"
"Ghost and Twix? No—no," she forces a laugh. "I mean, sometimes I catch him staring at her all weird. But I don't think—I mean, they hardly like each other and she is my friend, really, not his. He used to make me stay away from her, even. But I mean, they do spend a lot of time together now. It's usually to practice fighting and defense. Not to have...sex."
"Don't they share a room?"
"Just right now, because you guys are here."
Ari chuckles. "You really think they aren't fucking in there? She's really pretty. There's no way they aren't."
Blue looks back at Twix. Blue's fingers curl into the soaked fabric of her top. Her eyes flick back to him. "She would've told me if they were."
"If you say so."
T
Your thumb throbs in rhythm with the steady pump of Kyle's arms. Despite pressing it into your palm to dull the pain, the ache persists. You had nicked it while sawing off your hair, and now the taste of blood lingers in your mouth. You were still lapping at the painful pulse when the three men arrived to the pond, carrying a neon orange inflatable raft. They want to test it out on the water before embarking on the 35-kilometer journey across the channel.
It is the third day of their presence and you can honestly say you've grown more comfortable, given that Kyle has gone hunting with you a few times now. He is easy to talk to, along with Nereida. Price—however—doesn't seem intrigued by you, or maybe you are insignificant in comparison to the rest that is on his mind. That's fair. You don't all need to be friends.
They've been spending most of their time gathering food. Ghost has been helping Price hunt deer to skin and dry into jerky they can take with them. Nereida showed you a patch of wild strawberries she found yesterday, boiling them down into jams before canning them. By having food with them, they will save time from having to hunt along the way. In perfect conditions, it would be a straight path, and they could make it to the Swiss mountains within a month or two. But it won't be a straight path, and obstacles are bound to hinder them.
Kyle audibly growls and straightens, wiping at his percolated brow. "This chamber just isn't inflating."
"It must have a hole somewhere. Check the seams," Price says.
Ghost flips the half-filled raft over with ease, running his fingers along the PVC. "Here." He taps what must be a minuscule puncture because you can't see it from where you sit.
They patch it up with the little adhesive they have. The unease is noticeable as Kyle keeps pumping in air; they only have enough to cover a few holes, if they come across more. Finally, the six-person raft is full and they toss it onto the pond. Just the sight gets you thinking of all the variables they have to think of on the open water: the weather, currents, temperature. You had a friend in high school who swam across it once. She didn't get even halfway but having to pulled out, vomiting, and near-hypothermia. Open seawater is different than a pool. Unpredictable and quick to change.
"It seems sturdy." Nereida winds an arm around her husband's waist, pressing a chaste kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Don't worry about it."
"As long as it stays sturdy."
"It will," she assures him.
The cut has crusted over by the time evening settles and you have to will yourself not to pick at it. You find yourself alone with the horse, watching the sun set behind the trees, as everyone else eats.
"You probably don't like being tied up here, huh? You'd rather be running around." The coarse mane engrosses your fingers. Cherry bobs her head and a wet muzzle brushes your elbow. It tickles and you smile softly. "I wonder what will happen to you once they leave," you whisper. "Horses can't fit in a raft, huh?"
"No, they can't."
A hand presses into her neck beside yours, the person's arm extending over your shoulder. You crane your neck at Kyle but his eyes are on the animal, thoughtful, brows lowered. You wet your lips and step to the side to bring more space between your bodies.
"Not hungry either?" you ask.
Finally he looks at you, lips quirked at the side. "Nah. I had a big lunch." He stops petting her and crosses his arms, chin tilting. "Ever ridden a horse before?"
"Once or twice. As a kid."
His eyes almost lean dark green in the cast of orange light, but it must be a mere illusion. "Care to go for a ride?"
His eyebrow rises expectantly. You glance back at the cabin and then at Cherry. "Why not?"
He instructs you how to get on. You grip the knob of the saddle and flex your core, hoisting yourself with more strength than you've had to use in a few days. Kyle sits behind you and grips the reins after untying her. The last time you were on a horse was for a friend's birthday party; you trekked through a ranch on a white pony. Cherry is much taller than that one was, or maybe you're not fond of being so high up. You thread your fingers through her mane.
It is a silent ride at first as you try to ignore the sting on your butt, unused to firm leather seat. He must notice your discomfort because he tells you to relax and lean back. You do, until your spine brushes against his chest. It helps a little.
Cherry trots calmly through the trees, towards the circle of stumps that marks the east.
"Do you think she will be able to take care of herself?" you break the quiet.
"I'm sure she will be fine. Smart girl, huh, Cherry?"
The sun has disappeared but it isn't quite dark yet. "Are you scared?"
A breathy chuckle emits from behind you. He must realize what you are referring to—scared for the journey. "Yeah, always. I mean—I'm scared about Ari. He's the last family I got, and as old as he thinks he is, he's still young and naive. I still have to make choices for him."
"I was terrified of losing Joseph," you admit, and swallow. "He was so young and fragile. It felt like...like trying to keep an egg from cracking when your hands are made of stone. But at least I never had to take him to another country."
"That was your nephew? Joseph?"
You nod.
"Tell me about him."
You rack your brain. "Well, he was seven. And he..." You smile to yourself. "He was the pickiest eater in the world, even when we were all starving. I could not get him to eat meat unless I practically burned it. And he liked to look at bugs. I did, too, when I was young. I used to dig up worms when it rained to show him." He hums a gentle laugh behind you. You find yourself lost in the thought of it for a second. "Sometimes I...I think about how once I die, there will be no one left to remember those little things about him. Then, he will be completely gone, you know?"
You don't know why you're telling him this. You shake your head. "Sorry."
"Don't be. We gotta talk about shit like that or else we'll go crazy."
"I'm pretty sure I'm already crazy."
"Probably." A deer passes to the left and Cherry startles, but he is quick to soothe her with a flick of the reins and a stern—easy. She settles. "Are you scared?" he asks after a moment.
"Of what?"
"Of traveling so far."
"Well, I don't know if Ghost..." you trail off, absorbing the tone of his voice. You stiffen. "Wait, what do you mean?"
"I mean how we're all leaving in a month."
"Wait—stop." You grip his hand over the rein with more force than necessary, urging him to bring Cherry to a halt. You twist your spine and gape at him. "What are you talking about?"
He eyes you with a frown, and rubs his neck. "Shit. I thought he already told you."
"No, he didn't. Tell me," you demand.
He clears his throat. "He, uh, agreed to come this morning, but only if we take another month to prepare and shit. Get his daughter ready, sort things out."
You try not tremble in anger as his words sink in, clenching your hands as your breath picks up. "Take me back," you breathe out, brain racing. "I want to go back now."
The ride back is silent. You feel shaken. Your nail digs deep into the nick on your thumb unthinkingly until there is a smear of blood over your fingers. The others are getting ready for bed when the two of you return, moon bright. You bite your tongue until Ghost leaves to his room, then you follow him, closing the door as gently as you can behind you.
He is halfway through peeling off his socks and stuffing them in his boots when you approach. "What happened to being a man of your word?"
He looks up, resting his palms on his parted knees, looking far too relaxed for your liking.
When he doesn't respond, you add, "You were supposed to tell me. You said you fucking would."
Your voice is low but harsh.
He stands, a calm understanding washing through his eyes. "I was about to tell you."
You throw up your arms but try to stay quiet. "Bullshit. You're just saying that now. You've had all day to tell me."
"I was waiting for the right time."
"You think I can't handle it," you accuse, an ugly snarl on your face. "That I don't deserve to be apart of these conversations even after everything I have done for you, and for her. I saved her life! You get pissed at me for not telling you about stupid things, meanwhile you don't communicate something so important like we are leaving with them in a month to fucking Switzerland. Does Blue know? Or do you keep your own blood in the dark, too?"
He growls quietly and takes hold of your chin, tilting your gaze to his. His touch is firm but far from bruising. "I am not lying to you. I wanted to have a conversation right now, where it could just be us. And no—I haven't told her. How I explain this to my child is not your concern." There is a command in his voice that forces you to calm down some, but your breath is still warm through your nose. He moves his hand to gently thumb a strand of shortened hair off your forehead, staring at it for a second, before gripping your chin again. "There is nothing I think you cannot handle. Now, who told you about this?"
Blotches of red crawl over your cheeks. "It doesn't...it doesn't matter."
He is visibly unsatisfied. He taps his thumb against your chin. "Tell me."
"It was...Kyle," you concede in an exhale. "He assumed I already knew."
His eyes darken. "It wasn't his place to assume."
"He didn't mean to." You reach up to pry his hand off, and he relents, leaving your jaw feeling sore. You rub it. "Why a month?" You try to change the topic.
He takes a deep, steadying breath and looks away, jaw flexing. "She needs time. I want to prepare her for all possible outcomes. I still don't think she is ready, but that doesn't matter. There won't be another opportunity like this in the future. I have to make her ready." He sits down on the edge of the bed and sits his elbows on his thighs, collecting his thoughts before adding, "And the weather is a big factor. Just because we have means to get across the water doesn't mean it will happen safely. The current is most predictable in July and August. We will wait until then."
You mentally sort through everything he is saying, willing yourself not to linger on the fact that you are beyond scared. Scared to leave the place you have finally felt safe in. Scared to clearly be the odd one out again. A tag-along. Everyone else in this group has a loved one looking out for them. You have yourself. You don't know if you have Ghost, really—not when Blue is the one he loves. His allegiance can only go so far.
"Okay," you whisper, more to yourself than to him. "A month, then. What about shelter? The nights will be our most vulnerable."
"We'll look for the safest places for the night. There'd be seven of us, so plenty of eyes to keep watch."
"And what if we run into a horde?"
"Well, we have plenty of ammo now for that." He flicks his eyes up to yours. "Thanks to you."
You nibble your cheek, palming your chest as if to calm your heart.
"A month," he reminds you. "We will account for everything."
"Okay," you say again. There is a tinge of embarrassment over your outburst, but he doesn't seem fazed, as if you hadn't just barged in the room yelling at him. "Okay."
A click of his tongue. "Any more questions?"
"Not...not for now, I guess."
A few silent beats pass. The tension has left the room, leaving you with a wave of fatigue. Ghost must notice because he rises, gesturing to the bed. "Go on, then."
The bed is yours again. Too exhausted to question it, you slip under the quilt, curling into a fetal position by the slanted ceiling. It's best to enjoy the warmth before you're back on the move. A week journeying through the woods was the worst you'd ever endured, barely surviving. Now, it'll be months, or however long it takes to reach the goddamn Swiss mountains.
The light flicks off. There is a groan in the mattress and heady warmth spills over you. Your eyes fly open. "What are you doing?"
"Getting some sleep."
You turn around to see him lying beside you, flat on his back, with his arms crossed behind his head. "Together?"
"Clearly neither of us fancies the floor."
You flush, feeling his firm thigh brush against yours. "Just... keep to your side."
"I'll be a gentleman, if you're worried."
"I'm not," you mumble. "How do you even sleep in that thing, by the way?"
"Like a baby."
"Don't you think it's weird that Kyle has seen you without it and I haven't?"
"Jealousy doesn't suit you, Twix."
"And mental sanity doesn't suit you, Simon."
"Don't recall giving you permission to use that name."
"What, only your old captain gets to use it? How close were the two of you, exactly?"
Teasing him feels better than you're willing to admit.
He grunts. A pillow is thrashed against the side of your face. "Go to sleep."
"Yes, sir," you bite into the pillow.
Your instinct is to flinch closer to the edge, though it is difficult given the small size of the bed and the unnatural size of him. Your knees float off the mattress. Still, his sprawled-out position leaves points of connection. Your back, his elbow. Your feet, his calf. Small touches that do a surprisingly good job at soothing the mess in your brain.
You awake. Warm and rested.
Safe.
Morning light streams in, turning the backs of your eyelids red. Your face nudges forward until your nose brushes against fabric—a shirt. Awareness settles in slowly. Your toes stretch and brush against another set of toes. You realize you’re curled close against someone.
He’s still on his back, his right arm draped across your waist, fingertips resting on your exposed hip. Your breath hitches, and you do your best not to flinch. Your face is nuzzled into his chest, close enough to discern ribs from muscle. His steady breathing and gentle rumbles indicate he’s still asleep. You’re ready to peel yourself away when you notice your leg is on top of his, practically trapping him.
Fuck.
You stay still, devising a plan to extricate yourself without him noticing the position you're in. Then, in one swift motion, you leap up, removing all contact, and breathe hard as if ripped from a nightmare.
His eyes open and he swears. "Jesus. What was that?"
"Just a dream," you lie. "Sorry for waking you."
You jump out of the bed and practically run out before he can say anything; before he can realize how odd it'd be for you to have a dream when you haven't had one since... since staying in his room.
You lock yourself in the bathroom and grip the counter, knuckles whitening in the attempt to erode the feel of his warmth that seems to linger. A lump is forced down your throat as you lean back against the wall and close your eyes for a moment. When they reopen, you look down and lift your shirt, only to find the indent of strong fingertips brandishing your plush hip. Jesus. Your stomach knots and unknots.
"You didn't like that," you whisper to yourself. You brush your thumb over the marks, gently at first, then palming them hard as if to erase them. You drop your shirt and look at the mirror. "You did not like that."
Before someone can stumble upon you talking to yourself, you comb your fingers through tousled strands and slip out. It seems most others are awake. How could you and Ghost have slept so long? Usually, the two of you are up with the sun.
"Hey. Morning," you greet when you spot Blue on the porch, belly down, as she plays checkers with Kyle's nephew. She glances over her shoulder. Something in her bright eyes seems...off, but you can't put your finger on it.
"Hi. Is Ghost up yet?"
"Hm? Oh, uh—not sure. I didn't check, really."
"Okay." She looks back at the game and says nothing else. You feel as though she saw right through you. Or maybe that boy has told her everything. Surely he knows about Ghost's plans? Kyle had to have told him. Maybe that is why Blue seems upset, but like he said, it isn't your place to say anything.
You are itching for a hunt.
It feels urgent, for some reason. Like you want to get out of here before Ghost can be up, too. You find Kyle and he suggests that the two of you take Cherry so you can get go further south where he claims there is a meadow to look for deer. It is difficult to ride with him behind you and a bow on your back, so he wears it for you. You can feel his eyes on the back of your head.
"Awfully quiet this morning. Penny for your thoughts?"
"I talked to him," is what you give. "Last night."
"Ah. How'd that go?"
"It was fine. I mean, I am getting used to the idea."
"That's good. It'll be worth it, you know. Once we get there. Finally get to have a semblance of a normal life."
A normal life. You almost snort at the thought.
The morning grows longer, and not even the haircut can save you from the sweat that gathers. You make it to the meadow after an hour of horseback that leaves your thighs bristling. He helps you down and ties Cherry to a tree. You wade through tall, bright grasses that sway in the humid breeze. It looks vaguely familiar, stirring something in your gut that has your boots frozen for a moment.
Kyle looks back at you, noticing that you've stopped following. "Good?"
"I just—I think I've been here once before. When I was on my own. I came this way." Your eyes scan the surrounding trees, where the meadow feeds into the forest, and an a gnarly oak with distinctive branches catches your eye. "I definitely have been here. I slept in that tree."
You push into the meadow, shaking off the memory. Staying close to Kyle, you listen as he lightly shares memories from the military, careful not to startle any potential deer. He talks about his time in Afghanistan, mentioning that his brother was also there, but at a different base. Kyle didn't even know his brother had died until weeks later because he was out in the field.
"After Afghanistan is when I met Ghost the first time."
"Oh?"
He nods. "He was my lieutenant when I went to Russia. I was scared shitless of him at first. I mean, he had a bit of a reputation and I was only 22."
"He was good at what he did," you say.
"More than that. People said he was up to some shit outside of what he did, but that was just rumors."
You think you spot a streak of gold through the grass, but it is just a stalk of wild wheat. You look back at him. "What do you mean?"
"May have heard a thing or two about him killing a guy off-duty. Of course, unconfirmed, otherwise he wouldn't have been enlisted again."
He killed someone? Like actual murder? You're about to ask more, your mind flashing back to your face pressed against him an hour earlier. Then you spot a deer. Kyle sees it too and motions for you to stay quiet. Your boots are nearly silent as you draw an arrow, squinting to see clearer. There are three deer: an adult female and two fawns. You draw the string and aim for the adult, the easier target.
"I'll get the doe," you whisper.
"Gotcha."
The beady black eyes turn your way, and you hesitate for a moment. There's movement, a flash of grey, and the doe snaps her eyes in another direction. What is she looking at? Your brows furrow, arrow following her gaze, when the answer appears: a Grey launching toward the deer. The three deer run off, and you release the arrow, aiming for the Grey's head instead.
"Motherfucker. Ruined the kill," Kyle mutters.
You weave toward the corpse, surprised to see such a fast one alone, indicating a new infection. The stench is pungent, enveloping you in a thick cloud. You shudder. The Grey writhes, your arrow lodged in its neck instead of its brain. You draw another arrow and aim when a hand suddenly grips your shoulder.
"Twix," Kyle breathes in your ear.
"What?"
You look away from the Grey and follow Kyle's gaze, your eyes widening in horror as you realize the terrible smell isn't from this single creature. It's hundreds. A dark, grey mist that unfurls through the trees. A growing chorus of agony as their tattered bodies collide—some limping, others hurtling forward in a grotesque dance, but all converging on the meadow.
#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#cod#zombie apocolypse au
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Day 12: Three Shades of Sin
Le Sserafim Kazuha & Yunjin & TripleS Xinyu
words: 11,736 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist
Look, you know this story starts with the way Xinyu has her fingers threaded beneath Kazuha's jaw, her lipstick smeared off in bits and pieces, but that’s not actually how it ends. It’s a slow descent; watching your girlfriend kiss someone new is a beautiful disaster that never really loses its lustre, and the truth is, there’s no moral at the end of this tale - the closest you’ll get to something cathartic is this:
Yunjin grinning at you, sunshine-bright and wickedly gorgeous. “You gonna invite us in, or what?”
-
First things first: the bar is packed - oh, it's always packed - but especially so on the nights when Kazuha performs. It's not a burlesque club, not really; in theory, it's not all that much more than an upscale lounge for yuppies with more money than they need, trying to pretend they're living sophisticated lives with a splash of debauchery on the side.
It's packed, obviously, because they're getting a little more debauchery than expected tonight - but all the familiar faces are there: the grad-school crowd who treat this club like the neighbourhood dive bar; the pretentious A-list types who claim to hate this kind of thing but always seem to show up anyway; the trust-fund kids and their vices and habits; the semi-locals, like you. They’re the mainstay: you know their drink orders, what they’re into, whether you’ve gone home with them before. You know who is dating who. Who's got a looser distinction between romance and just fooling around. Who got fired. Who's always fucked up beyond all help. You know the girl sitting at the end of the bar nursing a cosmo and waiting for you, alone.
She'd come to see Kazuha perform like everyone else.
"You missed my boyfriend," Xinyu says to you, just shy of winking. She looks beautiful - she always does, of course, but this time: she's wearing black leggings and a crop top that shows off the cut of her waist, her toned abs. The skirt is so small it's basically an accessory to how she's got her dark hair pinned up into something half-bedroom, half-backstage-chic, hoop earrings that dangle just above the slope of her neck.
"Did I?" you reply, coy. It's not flirting - or maybe it is, you're not sure.
She tips her head, cheek resting delicately on her knuckles. You end up staring at her mouth; the words coquettish and prurient and absolutely, unquestionably fuckable are swirling around your brain. "Yep," she says, and her lips curve beautifully. "You did."
Xinyu turning up the dial until she's impossible to resist is pretty much standard-operating-procedure here- it's sort of like this place runs through her blood. She's claimed ownership of it for herself.
"It's too bad," she says, drumming acrylics on the countertop. She shoots you a look that's all bedroom eyes: that drowsy, liquid-lidded kind of want that tells you she'd have her head tilted back against your pillows in less than a few minutes if you asked. "I think you would've really gotten along."
"Guess I'll just have to settle for his girlfriend." You lean closer to her, conspiratorial. "This is fun. What else are we doing tonight?"
"Oh, yeah, you know." She stretches long and languid, satisfied. "Same as usual." That means dancing - some partying, probably lots of drinking, flirting. You're going to take her home and pin her wrists to the pillow above her head. You don't mind any of that - it's become your life, these last months, too. You know the routine here like you've known it for years.
"Want something to drink?" you ask her, and Xinyu considers you. Like she's going to pounce.
"Not really," she says, and then her chin fits into the dip between her thumb and pointer finger. You get closer. "Think I'm thirsty for something else." There's nothing left of the distance between you, and you're not kissing her yet, not yet - but the tension is making a point of shuddering and cracking.
All that promise of something more.
"Don't let this go to your head, but." Xinyu reaches out a hand. You play into the script; you take it and bring her knuckles to your lips. Her wrist smells like the perfume you bought her a Christmas ago. You kiss there, too - for a split second. "I love my boyfriend. He's great." Your eyes dart to hers again - she's always watching, waiting for the attention to come back her way. "But sometimes girls just hit differently, right?"
"See anyone in particular?" you say, still nonchalant, while Xinyu hooks a fingertip onto the neckline of your shirt.
"Oh," says Xinyu. Her grin is devilish, dangerous: like she'd carve right through your throat. "That's cute of you. Like, you really wanna know, hm? I have a list."
"How long is it?" You raise an eyebrow, feign boredom. She likes the challenge.
"Depends on the night."
"But I'm at the top," you continue, unabashed - your usual brand of charming. "Right?"
Xinyu laughs; it's a delight, musical and precious. You'd listen to it for hours if you could.
"You already know, honey." Her nails skim your neck; they catch in your hair. The strands fall over the silver around her fingers. "Top of my list, and everyone else's, too."
"Nope." You lean even further over the bar, stealing the inches, taking them for your own. "Not tonight."
"I don't share." Xinyu taps your nose, prim, smirking. Her eyes are shining, brimming with energy - you can't look away from her. She's intoxicating. She's beautiful. "He wouldn't like that anyway."
"Oh, come on. That sounds like a 'him' problem. Right?"
There's a raucous chorus of laughter from across the floor: people coming in from the cold, wanting to see the show, see a gorgeous girl in next-to-nothing strut her stuff up onstage. You watch as Xinyu's eyelashes flutter, delighted - she's waiting for something to begin; this is a ritual that repeats, the fervour starting low and ending high.
And it starts, and it ends, always, with you looking at her.
"We'll see," sings Xinyu, and she twirls on her stool, one leg neatly hooked over the other. The bar erupts into thunderous applause - the lights dim, and Kazuha emerges onstage.
-
See, the club isn't normally about stripteases - sure, some girls dance - but this is still a place with bottle service and $18 cocktails, not one where dancers make a show of stripping out of their lingerie. And it's not like you care much for how people try to make themselves seem better than they are, really: if you wanna be trashy, fine. If you want to keep up appearances, put on some kind of show like you're worth a dime more than anyone else out there, great, fine, do that. This place may be the latter, but in the end, it's all the same; everything falls apart once the night sets in. Everything stays messy, no matter which box you paint yourself into.
That's a long preface to say: you're just not expecting her in the slightest.
To be honest, most nights aren't all that exciting - there are people to remember, drinks to mix up, tabs to close and mouths to kiss, sometimes - but mostly, there's not a lot worth mentioning. When people come into the bar - the people who are new, the people who think that this is an opportunity for the night to turn interesting - you look up, size them up, wonder who they're going home with, if you're interested at all. More often than not, it's none of the above.
"Hi," says the new face as she slides up to you on the stool. Well, okay, so this part is different.
Xinyu stepped out earlier - said she had someone else to find, said you'd probably like who she had in mind, but whatever. You'll see when you see. You're not picky. You were ready to dick around on your phone until your girlfriend figured out which plaything you were both in the mood for tonight - you're not opposed to another addition, not at all - but then-
Then the girl sits at the bar, leans on her elbows over the polished surface. Rakes her fingers through the wisps of dark hair at her forehead, pushes it back, and -
And meets your gaze dead on, and doesn't break it. Not even a bit.
Okay - so, she's blindingly, impossibly stunning. A textbook fucking ten.
"Hi," she says again, firmer, like she knows what you're thinking. "Do they serve anything here that isn't blue or tastes like putting your tongue to a nine-volt?"
It's such a shockingly mild opener that you immediately laugh at her. It just spills right out of you.
"Yeah," you say, leaning against the bar, mildly amused. You call over the bartender, order in duplicate - you're pretty sure that's how this works, you have to get the drink in front of her, not even mention it, just let her know that you're calling the shots here - and then fix her with another look, eyebrows quirked. "New in town?" you ask. Small talk. Sure.
"No," she replies, "just new in here." She tosses her silky red hair over her shoulder. Reveals the halter-neck of her blouse and the deepness of the dip. Her collarbones are out. You barely even notice. "Also," she continues, "this place is a fucking zoo."
There's no patience to her. She's harsh, no filter. Your drinks arrive, and she hardly reacts when they do.
"It's a bit crowded." You're trying somewhat to stay diplomatic. "It's the girl on stage," you offer, and you gesture vaguely towards Kazuha's figure: long legs and curves in all the right places, raven-black hair falling to her waist. Everyone looks at her like she's a gift sent down from heaven. She's dressed in something gold, sequin, and she knows that they're pretty much right.
"Well, I guess that explains it."
"Everyone's hoping she'll take off more clothes." You shrug your shoulders at your new companion. "But she never does, so I'm not quite sure why everyone thinks tonight will be the exception."
"No shit," the girl drawls, her tone entirely blasé - she's so painfully disaffected, the disinterested, entitled type; your heart skips a beat. "No offence to you, man, but I think most of the guys here are either idiots or creeps." The redhead wrinkles her nose. "Or both."
"A fair assessment, honestly," you muse. Sip your drink. It's bitter. She hasn't touched hers. "You think I'm any different?"
The corner of her mouth ticks up. "No," she says.
The room seems to tilt sideways, and everything gets fuzzy: it feels like you're supposed to be talking in code or perhaps just reading between lines - there's a whole secret conversation happening beneath this surface-level, meaningless banter. You're making contact, making plans. She knows where this is going. You're right there with her.
"The girl up there is cute," the redhead says after a while, thoughtful. "What's your deal with her? How come you haven't turned into one of the animals in the horde yet?"
It's an obvious line of questioning.
"She's nice," you admit, "but I've already got something good going with someone. No need to push my luck with anyone else."
At this, she raises an eyebrow, curious, cautious, wary. "Nice, how?"
"I mean, she's beautiful," you say, "very pretty." Easy things. Surface things. These things anyone could list off. "Cute voice."
"Nothing in particular, though, huh." Her eyes flick back to the performer onstage - Kazuha's walking the catwalk, kicking her heel out at the men closest to her; her skirt rides up, and everyone goes absolutely wild for it - and then returns her focus to you. "Not your type?"
You've been in this seat - or one just like it, at least - watching Kazuha's ass onstage for countless nights. You're well aware of her appeal, but you can't figure out a harmless way to say your mind is giving you three images of a palm-print burning across the same expanse of skin at any given moment.
You shrug, ambivalence feigned. "I guess not."
"It's funny." She props her chin on her palm, her nail polish glittering against her jawline. She's barely touched her drink. "The girl's normally such a doll, right? Kind of girlish. Could barely hold a conversation with a boy when I met her. And now she's all that. On stage."
"Hmm," you reply, like you can't imagine it. "Is that right?"
"Oh yeah," she tells you, half-smiling. Her lipstick leaves marks on the glass as she takes her first sip. "Years of ballet school will do that to a girl. Though maybe something about performing just became second nature."
"Explains the legs," you mutter, feeling the look she levels with you; dangerous. "And the gracefulness," you amend quickly. She raises an eyebrow at you, and you raise one right back; it's a power struggle, and when her fingers curl across her chin, you almost choke on nothing.
"Legs and grace," she says. "That's about it for her, huh?"
You nod, your voice quiet, soft.
"How do you know her?" you ask gently.
"Oh, honey," she croons. Her face is halfway to laughter, mirth perched like a threat in her voice. She puts a palm flat on the counter and slides it forward so her manicure scrapes at the varnish. Leans into you over the edge of the bar and presses her lips to your ear. "I'm fucking her."
Everything in your brain stops, and starts; everything crashes down around you; everything rearranges.
"You know," the girl continues like she's explaining something casual, something innocent, "she's real fun on her hands and knees. Can't get enough of me." She tilts her head, contemplative. "I suppose she is beautiful," she adds, almost thoughtfully, and then reaches out her fingers. Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "And graceful."
All you can picture are those gorgeous, creamy thighs marked up by nails like razors: bruises shaped like fingertips, angry scratches that would leave scars if pushed hard enough. Things for her to return to.
You swallow. You blink.
"She's very lovely," you say, careful, careful.
"Listen." The girl leans away, sweeps her red hair back over her shoulder, fixes you with her heavy-lidded eyes again. "We don't have to pretend we're in love or anything." Her voice is velvet, husky; the words catch at your eardrum and melt there, dripping down the bones of your skull like liquid seduction. "She's busy, clearly. So, I'm looking for a little company tonight, and I think I've found it."
"And your girlfriend?"
"Can't make it." She smiles, wolfish. "Which, if you don't mind me saying, is very lucky for you."
"Girlfriend, who you fuck into the mattress," you clarify. "She'd have no problem sharing?"
"With a pretty thing like you?" Her eyelashes flutter - the way they sweep low makes shadows across her cheeks, delicate. "No chance she'd object."
Your mouth twists to the side. "What's the catch?"
"No catch," she purrs. "Just: I'm going to go to the bathroom, and I think you could follow me there in five minutes, tops. Sound like a plan, handsome?"
Oh.
Okay. You think vaguely that Xinyu's probably got a hand in this, somehow. Doing this on purpose, leaving you here to fend for yourself - and it's a very Xinyu kind of move, really: setting you up with some stranger, letting her proposition you, and waiting for it to escalate past the point of return. Sending you right up to a pretty pair of vices, telling you to chew them down to size. Maybe if you do good - you already know how she wants you to perform - you'll get an actual reward later. Another girl for you to fuck, or maybe Xinyu herself. Or both. Your brain is spinning in circles. You really, really can't think straight with her breathing right onto your pulse.
"What, you've got something better to do than fuck two girls tonight? The girl seems to weigh something out in her mind; watches you through a side-long glance. "You really can't drop everything to play around for a little bit?"
So maybe it's not Xinyu's handiwork - this is a little too far-fetched, even for her - but you can't lie. When she goes ahead, drags her fingers on your shoulder as she glides by and doesn't bother looking back, the way your cock throbs makes it easy to decide that it doesn't matter.
-
You get lost a bit on the logistics. (That'll actually be a recurring theme.)
There's a pair of single-occupancy toilets in the back of the bar, ostensibly family washrooms; for mothers with children, wheelchairs, sloppy bathroom sex with god-blessedly gorgeous strangers, that sort of thing - but they're occupied. Both the handles spun up; red tags flipped up to indicate engagement, a motif, and symbolism in spades. Something heavy-handed and easily ignored.
"Maybe I should just get on my knees right here," she suggests eventually - like a joke, but she'd do it. You're pretty sure.
"Absolutely not," you counter, only a little bit scandalized. She grins and presses a palm flat to your abdomen.
"Just problem-solving." She's totally blasé. "Critical thinking."
"Careful with that," you warn her, sorta unreasonably given where your fingers are on the cut of her hips.
She pretends to think about it, fingers tapping thoughtfully on her lip, a comical exaggeration, and you just roll your eyes. You think about getting her name, maybe a number - you could just leave it at that, save her contact info under tall, great ass, (fuckable) lips and pray to hell it never comes up as recommended when someone else texts you.
Yeah, right. It's better to just bury yourself in this until it all dissolves - stick to the immediacy of it. Get your mouth on every part of her body and lick her clean, and then be gone before the sun rises. Right?
She pulls you down by your neck and slots your lips together again, slow, agonizing, her lips slipping over yours like they're made to be there. She kisses like it's an art form - something you can perfect, practice - and her tongue darts along the seam of your mouth like she wants to coax you open. There's the bite of cherry lipstick, sweet and candied; her fingertips into your belt loops, then yanks you toward her with her nose scrunched and a wicked smile.
"I can't believe you'd let me fuck you with your back against the wall like this." Her hips bump forward into yours - she's playing at bashful, coy and innocent. She's failing miserably. "What if someone sees?"
"I think you'd like that," you answer.
"Mmm," she agrees. She's tipping her head back, sliding her tongue across her upper lip, baring her neck to you. Her eyes flick back up, dragging like a blade. "Letting someone walk by, seeing you pushing into me, knowing I was about to make you lose control...yeah. Sounds hot, honestly."
"Shut up," you murmur, leaning closer.
"Make me," she kisses back, eyes flashing; oh, if you didn't feel it before, this is definitely how you know you'll see her again: you recognize the power in her stance, the firecracker-red blaze in her glare - it's like looking in a mirror, that domineering aggression. It's the promise of a rivalry; something you'll want to tame.
A wayward thought lingers: oh, hell - your mind is rapid on the recall, an endless, eager, addicting memory loop - how she kisses, too. The silky sweetness, the enthusiasm - the way her hands bury in your shirt and her pitched, muffled sounds of appreciation spill right into your throat. How she's such an obscene daydream, and the filthy, filthy things she tells you with her hands in your hair - the shock of that, her bold, pretty mouth telling you what she's fantasizing about right now and the fact that those fantasies line up with yours in nearly every sense. Her very presence is a contradiction, her mismatched gestures: tender kisses and wandering hands; how, for every inch given, she'll take five more.
You get your fingers under her skirt, pull her legs up to your waist; she wraps her palm over your cock; smiles against your lips, almost smitten but too arrogant for it: a villainous grin. You hitch one of her thighs over your hip, her panties damp against your slacks. Oh, how good she is - how perfect the feeling, how beautifully her teeth sink into the soft underside of your lower lip like you belong to her: a piece of property.
"That's it, sweetheart," you groan, kissing the apple of her cheek, letting the blush seep right under your tongue. Your hand hovers near her inner thigh. "God, you're so fucking sexy."
"Touch me," she hisses into the skin of your cheek.
"So demanding," you hum.
"Oh, shut the fuck up," she moans, arching into your chest - but her eyelashes flutter as your thumb ghosts across the fabric of her underwear, teasing. "Ah-ha..."
You'll justify it later, somehow: a cheat night, maybe - Xinyu's so used to getting other girls all to herself, you should have a few all to your own - and this one doesn't count as one, really; she belongs to someone else anyway, the raven-haired girl with the siren voice, long legs in silk stockings and pearls across her neck and high-heeled boots clicking across the pavement. And Kazuha doesn't even have to know: she's busy, probably; off with another guy or two or three. No reason to tell her what happens - you certainly won't complain. One orgasm and the redhead will be out of your hair.
There's a side door, some stairs. Nobody stops to ask who you are or where you're going, or even so much as bat an eye as you spill out into the alley - where people go to smoke or fight or vomit; she kisses you outside in the cold air, sliding her hands into your pockets and pushing up to the tips of her toes. There's a smile on her face like you're her best idea ever. It's cold out; she doesn't appear to care.
"God, I'm wet," she breathes, and you don't have to believe her.
"I bet I can help with that." Your jacket slides across your shoulders, off onto the concrete. You're leading her around a corner and against a brick wall. It's dark here. Dark enough for mistakes. Dark enough that you can press her spine to the bricks, slide your hands to her sides and lift her up, taste the lipstick across her jawline-
"Oh my god," comes a voice - softer, sweeter, a total siren lilt. "Please, fuck, that feels so-"
Both your heads swivel.
One streetlight illuminates Kazuha with her back pressed to the bricks and her hand curled tightly in all this black hair, panting, pleading: a perfect fucking masterpiece. She's got her eyes screwed shut, her lips parted; she's absolutely lost.
"Huh," says the redhead, dispassionate - and her fingers curl loosely over your forearm, drumming rhythmically. "Looks like she got distracted after all."
The hand between her legs is fucking her up and doing it fast, snapping sharp wrist motions accompanied by these rhythmic, throaty gasps from Kazuha as she holds onto the edge of a dumpster lid, clawing at metal. There's a muffled string of curses as the woman crouches, leaning forward - shoving her tongue inside. "Fu-uck," Kazuha manages, two distinct syllables - and her grip tightens around her waist, her spine. You catch the light shining off her gold earrings like a flash-warning, and you fall short of a breath.
“Xinyu?” you sputter. “What’re you-”
Xinyu extracts her hand from Kazuha’s cunt, licks her fingers clean and turns to you, not at all guilty - but she isn’t sorry, either. You blink hard.
“Oh, hey,” says Xinyu, cheery as anything. She brushes off her dress. “Didn’t think I’d find you here.”
“Neither did we,” you choke, dry-mouthed. “Are you…”
“We’re making use of some downtime,” offers Kazuha, smoothing down her hair, wiping off her smudged lipstick. The makeup is so precise that it doesn’t look smudged at all - or maybe that’s just how used she is to covering it up. “Is there a problem?”
“No, none-” Your mouth snaps shut as Xinyu meets your stare and gives you an impish little shrug, biting back a smile. She saunters over to where you stand, keeping a respectable distance.
“Look at this, babe," Xinyu says. She gestures to the girl you were making out two seconds ago, casual. "I found him first. Isn’t he handsome?”
“You’ve got weird taste,” replies the redhead, not unkindly, tilting her head back against the wall and exposing all that gorgeous skin. You can see her chest rise and fall in ragged breaths. Xinyu walks a hand up your torso, palms your collarbone with a suggestive smile - it's a little possessive, but then again, you realize you’ve forgotten to let go of the other girl's hand.
“You would be into him,” retorts Kazuha. She laughs softly. “Hi, Jen,” she adds, almost as an afterthought.
“Hey,” Yunjin says, wiggling her fingers, lazy. “Loved the performance."
"Shut the fuck up," snipes Kazuha, rolling her eyes, but she's flushed, halfway to an orgasm that's not gonna happen because everyone is apparently choosing now to puzzle this one out. "Could see you flirting with him the entire time, idiot."
"He's super fucking hot," says Yunjin. "Oh, speaking of which-" She tugs you closer by your wrist - you're stuck, standing still, trapped between three gorgeous women ready to argue over who saw who first.
“Wait,” you manage, breaking free. Yunjin huffs. Xinyu frowns, blinking. Kazuha leans back against the wall.
“We didn’t plan this or anything,” explains Kazuha. “Xinyu just likes what she sees sometimes.” There’s a practised ease in the way she says this - like this has all been rehearsed before between the two of them. "Or, well-" Kazuha lifts a shoulder, delicate, polished. "A lot of the time, I guess."
"Yeah," Xinyu says, not defensive. "So?"
"Well," you say, after a long moment - your mind working furiously to process, reconcile, synthesize - this scene where you're being pulled in six directions at once, trying to put this story together before any more pages flip.
"That's your girlfriend," you say to Yunjin, finally - and point a finger towards Kazuha.
"And yours," says Kazuha, one hand on Xinyu's hip. “Hi,” she adds.
"Yep," says Xinyu. "How about that."
She steps up close to you and bats those dark lashes. Behind her, Kazuha’s gaze catches your glance; it takes you a solid ten seconds to realize she’s trying to place where she’s seen you before - it clicks for her all at once, though it's a lot quicker for you - and then it all slots neatly into place, every cog and screw lining up in an easy motion.
“So.” Yunjin chews idly at the pad of her thumb. "What, you guys met once at the mall or something?"
"Yeah," you reply, realizing exactly how you and yours have come to fall for two of the same type. "We met at the mall."
If you'd like to imagine that this goes smoothly after that - it doesn't. Not really. It's more accurate to say that Yunjin looks at you, your blank stare, the panic - and the three girls just dissolve into laughter, giddy and conspiratorial like they've just pulled off the world's greatest coup.
"C'mon," says Yunjin. She's so good at reading social cues - like, oh, you being totally stunned-silent by the sheer amount of sexual energy suddenly coursing through this alleyway. "You said it yourself," Yunjin reminds you, gesturing at Kazuha, "beautiful, very pretty, nice legs." She brings her lips to your cheek. "You didn't lie about that."
"What?" says Kazuha.
Yunjin just smiles, brushes a lock of red hair behind her ear. "We have taste," she tells Kazuha, confident and poised - and then to you, hushed under her breath, "I'd watch you rail her," she murmurs. Her tongue darts out, pressing wet and warm into the shell of your ear. "Would you like that?"
"That's-" you start. You stop. Xinyu looks over at you, a devious flicker lighting up her eyes - oh, god; if that doesn't spell disaster, nothing does -and the grin she gives you is so downright evil you wonder why you ever dared dream you stood a chance. She looks back over at Kazuha, reaches out a hand to clasp gently at that impossible waist, pulling her in close.
"Sweetheart," Xinyu drawls, tracing a thumb over her jawline. "Doll," she continues, letting the nickname linger. She leans up, pecks a kiss against Kazuha's mouth - but her eyes don't leave yours for a second. She bites down gently on Kazuha's lower lip, tugging lightly at the skin before letting it snap back.
"You know I wouldn't ever get jealous over sharing something with you," Xinyu murmurs. She says it like a proclamation; something binding, solemn - a pact signed in ink, wax-sealed and pressed into the skin of Kazuha's collarbone. They're practically the same height. It makes your throat run dry. "You get me," she says.
Yunjin laughs, but not meanly. "It's cute how you pretend you aren't selfish," she says to Xinyu, rolling her eyes. Her lips curve upwards. "Tell me something I don't know." And then - you feel her fingertips trail delicately over your waistband, slipping her thumb below the hem of your jeans. "Hey, Kazuha?"
Kazuha drags her focus off Xinyu with visible effort, snapping back into the conversation.
"Wanna ride his face?"
Xinyu is grinning like a lunatic, gorgeous and predatory.
Kazuha gathers her hair off her neck. “He seems like the type who would want to eat pussy for hours."
"I wouldn't complain," you croak out - and Yunjin laughs. It’s genuine, unpracticed, the sort of thing that shakes her shoulders; it fills you up.
"Why don't you sit back down against that wall," she tells you, nudging at your ribs. Her touch feels electric. "Relax."
Oh. She says it like an order, and you realize that she knows full well what it'll do to you. She's still smiling, though it's sharper now, sharper, hungrier - like the glint of fangs that'll tear you apart. It's really no wonder you ended up exactly where she wanted you - but then you realize Kazuha's looking at you, and you realize that you're not entirely sure whose team you're on or if there even are any teams here. It's not like you can complain. The most you can manage is a grunt of acknowledgement, sitting down slowly, trying not to trip over your own feet and ruin everything.
"Good boy," Yunjin quips, quiet enough to feel private, intimate. You blink up at her, still holding her hand in your lap as you sit down, staring like she holds the key to all seven wonders of the world in her palm. "Kazuha," Yunjin calls over her shoulder, patting your arm. "Get over here. Come meet my new friend."
And that's sorta how you wind up in some kind of...what-the-fuck situation? Some otherworldly thing you shouldn't even hope to explain - some alternate dimension shit with two beautiful women pressing you back against some dirty-ass brick wall in the alley behind your usual haunt, a third one laughing hysterically at all four of you. You feel like the dumbest motherfucker alive, especially when Xinyu whispers something in Yunjin's ear, and it earns a resounding laugh, but mostly just because your girlfriend's hands are everywhere and Yunjin's sitting back and watching like it's prime-time television.
That - and also because Kazuha's decided she needs your face buried in her cunt ASAP, and frankly, you can't even muster up the energy to disagree.
-
First things first: the bar is packed - oh, wait, no: it's always packed. But especially so on the nights where you're trying to navigate this stupid situation, you got yourself into where three fucking goddesses have you on rotation, like clockwork.
You're collecting coats and closing tabs, doing your absolute best not to bring any more attention to how Kazuha's wobbling on both legs because she can't quite walk straight anymore.
Yunjin - your current distraction, clad in the most perfect shade of red lipstick, clinging onto your favourite girl like a lifeline - keeps leaning over to Xinyu, whispering frantically in her ear, and it's like the more they talk, the more amused Xinyu gets.
"I told Yunjin your apartment's the closest," Xinyu says to you, eventually, a small smirk forming on her face. "Think she wants you alone for a while. Sounds like she thinks you could really, uh-" She nods toward you, gesturing pointedly towards your belt. "Blow her back out, is how she phrased it."
Oh. Well, then. Yeah, no, you'd be perfectly okay with that.
When you glance back over at the rest of your - you don't have a word for it - entourage, all three pairs of eyes are locked on you, expectant and eager. Jesus fucking Christ. You make brief eye contact with Yunjin; her smile grows impossibly wider. This was meant to be a casual night, wasn't it? A nice outing at the lounge bar where you down drinks and enjoy the scenery - that was how it started, right? Then Yunjin had shown up, demanding all your attention like you owed it to her just for existing (and honestly? You kinda do). It'd been an excuse to look at Kazuha's tits, and then another to press your mouth all over Xinyu's - but the way your girlfriend's looking at you makes it abundantly clear that that ship's already sailed.
Kazuha raises a water bottle to her lips, looking cool and confident as ever (oh, you know better).
"Didn't mean to invite everyone over, but." Xinyu preens, adjusting the hem of her skirt and checking for signs of wear. She knows exactly what she's saying, exactly what you're thinking - there's an intentness to her words. "You wouldn't mind, right, baby?"
"Yeah, sure," you agree, glancing up at all of them with a nod. You've never moved faster in your life; your coat's over your arm, keys in your pocket, the whole ensemble. They're watching you, waiting patiently. Xinyu raises an eyebrow. "Lead the way?"
She beams. She turns, slips her purse strap over her shoulder. "Alright," she chirps - and the four of you take off into the night.
-
It's funny, you think: Xinyu's also had a weak spot for Kazuha, probably since the first time she saw her perform. (That's the part that sticks out in your brain.) But then again, maybe Kazuha knew about Xinyu too; they seem pretty damn cosy for this being their first interaction with each other, though you suppose you can't judge - you were practically aching for Yunjin within an hour of meeting her, weren't you?
But whatever. Your cock is in Yunjin's hand, and your mind is very much not present right now. That's the important thing.
By the time you finally unlocked your front door, all four of you stumbling in - everyone tipsy, aroused, dying to get their hands on someone's skin - Yunjin immediately glued herself to you, pushing your coat off your shoulders. She'd gotten your zipper undone in record time. It's not the first time, obviously: she's got this ghost of a grip around your cock already, a knowing stroke, this way of handling your arousal that feels almost proprietary in its control.
There's an island in the kitchen; you're washed up on its shore. Fingers spread across the marble sand as the edge presses against your lower back. "Drinks are in the—"
"You can skip the fanfare." Yunjin is stroking you, her other hand at the nape of your neck to pull you down, kiss her; your mouth meets hers, hot, messy, too hard. Pick up where you left off sort of thing. Some unheard conversation must have planned this, on the street or in the hallway or the elevator—they'd figured out some secret plot, who got what, how they would split up, and it starts here.
It's in your periphery that you see them cross, hand in hand, watching you come undone by the vixen in red. Xinyu is taking the lead, and you can see her mind working overtime to figure out what would drive you the most insane right now. She stops at the couch, centre-view, perching herself on the back of it to pull the other girl against her. Kazuha giggles in the high pitch, something that sounds too sweet to come from someone whose job it is to get men going—and maybe she does that on purpose: the look over her shoulder accompanies a feigned innocence.
Xinyu looks past her, gaze falling over Yunjin first: red dress, blood red lips, hair like a hearth-fire, and the hand moving on your cock in your unbuckled jeans. "A head start? How unfair." She rolls her eyes with all the mocking derision she can muster, but her smirk betrays her. She's pushing Kazuha by the shoulder, putting the dancer down on her knees. Even in the most compromising position possible, she looks immaculate: she sinks, legs together, ass perched on her heels. There's not a strand of hair out of place, and even in her lust, Xinyu strives to maintain the fact, so she takes care in the way she pulls Kazuha between her thighs. A gentle, fingertip hold, as she spreads her knees to frame her.
You watch with rapt attention; you can hardly look away. The whole thing is artfully posed.
Yunjin says your name, the first word you've heard from her, and you've only missed it a little. Your gaze moves to her. You expect another comment, snide, but her mouth parts, like the words have been stolen right out of it.
"You good?" You're trying to be a gentleman, if not an asshole—and it works, too; it spurs her back. She bites the corner of her lip and hums.
"Yeah, you know." A half-shrug accompanies her words as she lets you slide a strap from her shoulder. "Still waiting for you to blow my back out."
Oh. You laugh, hoarse. Yeah, that's—that's on the agenda, for sure.
It's just—the show, right across from you, has started.
Kazuha, in her performance, has Xinyu's skirt pushed up around her waist, face against her thigh, breath hot on her skin, fingers splayed over her knee to press her legs even wider. The most natural seduction; the effortless allure that laces every part of her. Her lips against skin are soft and pink, moving against the curve of the muscle, mouthing up higher. You know how that feels—travelling the vast expanse of Xinyu's long legs in search of something to bury your face in.
"She's in for a treat," Yunjin whispers.
"So am I," you return, placing a hand on Yunjin's now strapless shoulder and putting just enough weight into your hand that she knows she's going down.
"Can't promise I won't bite," she warns, in the tone that makes your throat dry, in the way you think she just might. But you've also had the image of Yunjin's head bobbing in your lap the whole cab ride home.
If there's a heaven, you'll find it in a mouth like this one: soft-lipped, warm and wet, tongue on you. You reach for the back of her neck, feel the silk of her hair under your palm as she sucks hard enough to make your hips jerk. Then there's the gentlest of grazes—her teeth on your shaft, and it makes your jaw tighten. She's all smirk and smoulder, eyes coming up to see what kind of face she's making you pull.
"Oops," she laughs.
"Fuck," Xinyu gasps, the loudest sound in the room. There's the slightest shift of Kazuha's shoulders, the way her back bows when her tongue drags from slit to clit; nose pushed up tight.
Xinyu, still leaning over the back of the couch, turns her gaze toward you, then, heavy, desperate, and dark: an intensity that hits right in the base of your stomach and twists like a dull knife.
Xinyu trades pleasured gasps for a coy remark. "Look at her go. Eats pussy like she'll starve to death without it." It's like she needs to comment on it, all casual, as if there weren't someone between her legs, making her thighs tense.
Yunjin pulls back just long enough to say, "Tell me about it." Then she goes deep enough that you see your cock hit the back of her throat. No warning. You cough out an obscenity. It's good, and it's better because of what you're looking at.
"Yeah?" Xinyu says. "Be pretty easy to cum like this, you know?" The implication hangs in the air, unaddressed.
Just like Yunjin before you, you agree. "Tell me about it."
Your girl, on the couch, her body twists again. Kazuha is making her work to keep the upper hand in all this, if there's such a thing, and she has to put conscious effort into keeping her words steady. Her focus is on you, on your face, on how your mouth opens every time Yunjin sinks her mouth to the hilt.
"Do you wanna cum like this?" Yunjin says to the underside of your dick, her hot breath against your length.
You look to Xinyu for a final answer: her head's back and her chin tilted high in a groan that fills the room, an arcing note in a rising song that starts between her thighs. Her hands grip the cushions.
"She's close," You say off-handedly. An easy observation. It doesn't answer her question.
"Could finish you so easily," Yunjin hums. You feel her words against the crown. She swirls her tongue, and you clench your fists.
"Faster than Kazuha?"
"Much faster." Yunjin grins like she's just thrown down a challenge. And you get why it works: competitive to a fault.
"No chance," Xinyu manages. There's sweat on the skin that shimmers with highlight, her chest heaving with every laboured breath, "absolutely—" Kazuha presses forward, and the rest comes out a curse. She grits out the words. "Impossible."
"Bet?" says Yunjin, her nails dug deep enough into your skin that it leaves little crescent moons.
Xinyu's head lifts. There's a smile on her face that's just shy of wicked, "I'd say winner takes all."
There are very few bets that Xinyu won't take and fewer stakes that she won't gamble with, but she's got confidence in Kazuha's ability, and time is a-ticking. Even with how wound up Yunjin's got you, watching them, it's still an even race at this point. Kazuha has a lot to prove: this is a test to see if her pretty lips and clever tongue can get her girl to the finish line faster than anyone else.
And, oh—she can taste it, can't she: Xinyu dripping wetness to her chin, her folds spread and cunt eager. The dancer's a performer of many skills: her fingers slide inside, her mouth locked in place and sucking hard until Xinyu is fucking her mouth with the back and forth of her hips. In a moment of indulgence, she presses Kazuha's face deeper, harder. It's rougher, meaner: she pushes her up tight enough that her air might just get cut off, if it weren't for the moans that slip from the singer's mouth. "God—" You think she says, and then nothing but sharp inhale and the jolt of her hips that has Kazuha's nails in the flesh of her inner thighs.
Yunjin's picking up the slack on you. Maybe to wipe the smirk from your girlfriend's face, or maybe she just really wants your cum down her throat. That's fine. You're not opposed.
Mouth briefly replaced by hand, strokes hard and tight, so she can talk and please. "Better cum in me soon. You'll lose." She winks. She's not wrong, and she sucks in her next breath like she knows it. That mouth on you again.
Let's be real. Let's not get it twisted. You win. You always win.
Xinyu will cum first. It's one of those facts in life. Death, taxes and Xinyu's climaxes.
It starts in her chest—a hitch that becomes a heavy rise and fall, a moan from deep in her throat. Her body follows it: every limb taut like strings in a bow. Tension: her head back to the sky and the arch in her back like a crescent. Her legs start to shake. It's there that you feel your blood thrumming, the adrenaline that starts that climb before your fall, and Yunjin takes her cue to speed things up on her end as Xinyu tumbles over on hers. Her thighs tense, tight, trembling.
"Oh—oh fuck—Kazuha." Xinyu moaning another woman's name always has a certain kind of kick to it, even more so with you down Yunjin's throat. She's never shy about this. Never timid. Always, unabashedly, the way it is with you and how she'll scream and cry for it, for the orgasm that wracks her like an electric current.
Kazuha has no interest in easing her down: the pads of her fingertips work her open, pumping inside, tongue flat to lap against the pulsing heat, riding her through each wave and crest, drawing them longer, higher. Xinyu's shaking with the overstimulation, hands in hair, but not pulling back.
"God. Fuck, Kazuha—" This time, there's the edge of desperation to it, so close to pleading for it to stop.
There's a moment when you lock your eyes. Xinyu looking through the strands of her dark hair that stick to her cheeks, and the sweat that glosses her forehead, the flush on her skin, her lipstick smeared in places. And that smile, her wicked grin in full bloom. Her breath coming in shallow heaving puffs. Kazuha is slowing. Stilling.
You've been teetering close to that razor's edge, the precipice of it, but there was only ever going to be one winner. Yunjin pulls her mouth from you and she has no idea just how close you were, just how cruel the denial, as she stands.
You say her name as a question: why would she ever fucking stop?
Her mouth to your ear, and you feel her smirking again, her teeth against the shell: "You lost," she murmurs.
"You lost," Xinyu echoes from across the room. She pushes Kazuha away, legs still unsteady, as she slides from the couch to her feet and straightens out the fabric of her dress. You watch as Kazuha touches the gloss of her lip and sucks it off her finger. Her smile is soft and warm when she gets to her feet. It's like a stage; everything posed: Xinyu and Kazuha, standing side-by-side and arms entwined.
"Second place," says Xinyu, looking you right in the eyes.
"I get it," you say. Your cock stands at full mast. "You don't need to remind me."
"Oh," she grins, leaning against the dancer, "I absolutely do." Her hand touches Kazuha's chin and lifts, kissing her deep, tongues dancing against one another's. When Xinyu's teeth drag along her bottom lip, you know she must be able to taste herself. "She's real good. Though I do wonder what her girlfriend is like," she whispers as she eyes Yunjin.
Kazuha speaks up. "She can definitely make a girl cum." She speaks with such nonchalance as if she's discussing the weather or what brand her shampoo is and not the way she's had Yunjin eating out of her cunt.
Kazuha is a professional; it's no surprise to hear she knows how to get a girl to see god, and it's no surprise that anyone she lays with has to be on top of their game. Xinyu knows, too. She grins, and she laughs, and she holds her waist like Kazuha's some sort of prize, and it's just so Xinyu, this display. "Lucky us." She touches a hand to the dancer's hip. She says to Yunjin, "We oughta try her out."
"You're going to leave him hanging?" says Yunjin, running a hand down your chest dangerously low before taking it back, a gentle press of lips on your jaw. "That's not very fair."
"He can help you out, right?" Xinyu offers, gesturing in your direction with one of those looks in her eyes. You know that one. "Make us cum." And her hand slips to the swell of Kazuha's breast, groping greedily. It's a demand that comes out as a suggestion.
Kazuha whispers something inaudible to Xinyu's ears and it must've been good because the woman hums, intrigued, the smile on her mouth turning wider and more mischievous by the second. They both take a step, both reach out, Kazuha takes your wrist and Xinyu takes Yunjin's. Wordlessly, they take you away from the kitchen and to the window: the massive wall of windows that line your apartment with the city behind.
"I want the world to see," Kazuha explains. "To wish they were you."
"Sounds a little cheesy," you quip.
"Sounds hot," Xinyu retorts as she places her hands on the glass. She bends forward so that the swell of her ass pushes out against the hem of her skirt, and against Yunjin, who is standing right behind her. "Don't you think, babe?" she teases Yunjin.
"Very," Yunjin says. She moves her fingers along the seams of Xinyu's body, finding their way underneath her top. You hear Xinyu breathe out through her mouth. Yunjin moves closer to Xinyu's ear and bites it. "But the only ones that'll actually get to touch you, to taste you... that'll be us, huh?" She moves her fingers along the waistband of her skirt.
Xinyu turns her head back at her, smiling. "They'll be able to see how well I can take it, too. You'll let them see, won't you?"
Kazuha perches in front of you, spreading her fingers out against the glass, lowering her shoulders, arching her spine and lifting her ass to the sky for your taking. In an instant, you're on your knees and appreciating her for everything she's worth. "You don't need to be a gentleman. Just go for it. You already had the courtesy earlier," she tells you as you move closer.
"Can't I take a moment to appreciate you first?" you reply.
"Do you have to?" Her laugh is half a moan, and she's pulling up her own dress. "Are you so infatuated by the sight of me? Because, believe me—" and her words are cut off as you sink your teeth into her cheeks, your fingertips pressing tight into the skin at her hip— "you've seen more than most get to."
You run a hand up the expanse of her thigh. "Savouring every moment," you hum into her skin.
"How romantic," she laughs. There are the smallest noises in the back of her throat that come with your touch as you caress her ass. Fingers into flesh, gentle pressure until you feel her roll against it. The perfect ass. The kind people would kill for.
You hear Xinyu gasp, the sharp breath: Yunjin's got her face pressed hard between Xinyu's spread thighs from behind. "Y'know—" your girl manages between moaning pants, "wasn't sure what to expect. This isn't how we usually do things." She's trying to hold the conversation together while Yunjin works to make a ruin of it. Xinyu braces herself against the glass. "Two girls at once is a pretty good score."
"I'd call it that," you hum in agreement as you pull Kazuha's delicate panties down her thighs.
"The two of you do this often?" Yunjin asks between licking Xinyu's dripping cunt and then slapping an ass cheek hard, enough to sting. It leaves an angry pink imprint on the flesh of her. Xinyu hisses, her fingers curling against the glass as she struggles to hold herself steady. Kazuha arches her spine to give you better access.
"See them all the time," Kazuha gently laughs, the breathiest moan breaking her sentence up, and she rocks herself back against you. "Taking someone home before my show even ends."
Xinyu's eyes open, and her vision is clear. She looks over her shoulder. Her hips are slow, riding the tongue that pushes deeper inside. Her voice is steady, and she's trying hard not to let Yunjin catch her completely, though the pressure on the glass betrays her. "Been keeping an eye on us, hm?"
You're dragging your tongue against Kazuha, circling around the wetness between her legs. You taste the sweet musk of her, and then you drag the flat of your tongue along the folds. She hums with a laugh that sounds a little breathier, more strained. Your tongue moves deeper, dipping into the parting of flesh, to taste the soft, velvet feel of her, the slick heat that comes with her arousal.
"You're not exactly subtle. Hard not to notice."
You push a little firmer, face into her ass, tasting the deepest parts of her and as she shifts on her knees, she lowers a hand to your hair and grabs a handful of it, keeping you where she needs you, fingers curled around the strands and the sting that follows. You hear the noise she makes, the way she shivers under your attention. It feels good.
"We have a fan," Xinyu jokes, but her laughter is cut off by a moan as Yunjin sucks harder on the soft folds between her legs. "Maybe two." There's the sound of skin hitting skin, and then a gasp. You know the sounds of Xinyu when her skin is slapped, or her flesh is bit.
Yunjin's hands roam her body freely. They're everywhere: touching, teasing. Her nails scratch and drag, and Xinyu groans when teeth meet her inner thigh again.
Kazuha is dripping against your chin now. Every lick sends another jolt up her spine, and every circle against her sensitive clit has her moaning. You squeeze her ass. She rocks forward. "Mhm..." Her lips part, and her jaw goes slack.
"What a pretty fucking mess," you hum against the wetness.
Xinyu takes Kazuha by the chin, pulling her into a kiss, and there's no way for anyone else to appreciate how beautiful they look against each other. Xinyu runs a hand up into Kazuha's hair, and her hips are still grinding, still pushing down onto Yunjin's mouth. "I'm gonna cum if she doesn't stop."
"Cum with me?" Kazuha says. It sounds desperate, almost needy in its demand: an urgency to share this. To do it together.
It doesn't sound like a bad idea at all.
"Not stopping," is the last thing Yunjin says as she continues to feast. You think she might have a point to prove, but if that means she wants to eat a pussy that good, then so be it. Your mouth works Kazuha faster: you spread the folds with your fingers and go to work on her clit. Your teeth catch the sensitive flesh, and she shakes with it, thighs threatening to tremble and tense, a strangled cry falling from her lips that she smothers by moaning it right into Xinyu's lips.
The taste of Kazuha on your tongue is something you'll never get tired of. Her sweet juice spills over, and when she arches, she cums harder, cries out louder until finally, her knees start to shake. That's how it starts, and with her orgasm comes Xinyu's too. There's a moment when the two are tangled together, when the sounds that fall out of them echo each other's. Their voices meet, their moans mix, and their tongues clash in their kiss, like they can't bear to keep any distance from one another. It's intimate, even amidst the other mouths on them. Even as Yunjin and you coax them through it. When it passes, the two cling onto each other, holding each other up, both of them trembling with the aftermath of a shared bliss.
Kazuha falls first: with a slow slump she sinks down to the floor, falling away from your hungry mouth and onto her hands and knees on the hardwood. She pants, heavy breaths, her head bowed, her hair in her eyes. There's a contented hum to the room as it all begins to settle down. Kazuha turns to you: there's that gorgeous smile, as she pushes back hair from her face. Her makeup is smudged. Her lipstick's a mess.
Xinyu follows after, but not without first stroking Yunjin's hair and kissing her, thanking her. Xinyu falls into Kazuha's embrace, the two of them holding each other up on the floor. Their heads are on one another's shoulders.
You lose your balance to a hard push. Your ass hitting the ground hard, sitting flat on the hardwood.
"Your turn." Yunjin grins, a hand pushing at the centre of your chest, keeping you from rising.
"You're going to do that right here?"
She grins at you. "Right now."
From here on out, it's just an inevitable, sordid decline into depravity. There is no message here, no moral, no meaning beyond the mindless, the reckless. There's nothing profound about the way Yunjin slips the other strap off her shoulder and pulls the material down to her waist to expose her braless chest. There's no wisdom in the way she moves into your lap, arms hooked over your shoulders.
No revelations come from how her bare pussy slides against the head of your cock. No matters of the world solved by the way you grope her tits in your palms. Nothing poetic about the sound that slips between her pretty red lips when you enter her cunt. This is just the way things are. This is barely a footnote on the night, not an epic climax. It's not a resolution or a denouement. Just another impending orgasm. You're just lucky you're at the centre of it all.
"Give us a show, won't you?" Xinyu murmurs.
Yunjin's got a smile on her lips that says, sure, sure, I can do that. She puts her hands on your chest, pinning you against the ground, her hips lifting and rolling as she slides you in and out of herself. "You think we should thank them? The people in the toilets?"
"Why's that?"
"Well, we'd have gone in there." Yunjin pushes her hips down hard onto you to punctuate her sentence. "We'd have fucked." She's taking control here: riding you in the centre of the hardwood floor. "You'd have cum." Another roll of the hips. "In me. On me." She gasps, moans. "That would have been that." It's all being said so nonchalantly. "But now, it's like this."
You laugh a little as you watch the woman ride you for all you're worth. "It's fitting," you say as you push yourself up from the floor, sitting face-to-face with the woman riding you. "Because you deserve so much more than a quickie on a dirty toilet." You wrap an arm around the small of her back. "And I'd much rather take my time with you." You buck your hips up into her, commandeering the rhythm as your pace starts to climb. You drive into her, pounding hard, as you bury your face between her breasts.
There are the smallest of noises that break free from Yunjin: the whines that get trapped behind her throat and the moans that slip between her teeth. She lets you handle her, and the only sound she makes is that soft whimpering and that sharp hiss when your fingers grip tight at her skin, and when her body slams down against your cock, you feel her tense and then shake around your shaft, squeezing and clamping down hard. She stifles her sounds.
"You good?" you whisper. She doesn't answer. At least, not at first. She gives herself a moment to catch her breath, as her nails drag across your shoulder blade.
She moans out a reply. "Oh yeah. So good. I'm so—" her words trail into a hiss of a breath.
You push her onto her back, pinning her to the ground as she laughs, arms above her head and eyes on yours, as you pick the pace back up again. "Show's still on," Xinyu says, somewhere on your peripheries.
"He fucks like a..." Kazuha whispers, unable to find the right words.
"I know," Xinyu laughs, before leaning in to kiss at Kazuha's jaw. "Doesn't he just?" The words are barely a whisper in her ear.
There's this shift in your periphery, Xinyu taking a place on the floor, her hand behind Kazuha's head as she spreads her legs again. It's rare you've found anyone who can keep up with Xinyu, but tonight's proven to be the exception. Kazuha's on all fours, leaning in for another taste. The sight has you groan.
Yunjin laughs at that, pulling your face back to hers, her legs wrapping around your hips, locking behind your back as she pulls you into her. "Don't get distracted now, honey," she says. Her fingertips trace along the muscles in your shoulders. Her lips curl up into a smile as her body shivers underneath yours, and you can feel it: that sweet clamping down of her pussy around your cock, and you know that she's close to coming again.
"Got an idea," you whisper.
"Wait, wait—" Yunjin claws at your back, holding you closer, tighter. "Just let me—" and you feel it. Her wet heat coating your length, pulsing. You roll her into it, feel the slick mess as her hips twist against the hardwood. She shakes, head thrown back, eyes fluttering shut, and lips parted. "There we go. Now, idea?"
"Come here." It's seamless, the way you move her around and behind Kazuha, positioning her face right against her girlfriend's ass. "Doesn't that look so good?"
"Beautiful," she says.
"Bet you eat that ass every chance you get, I know I would."
"Me too," Xinyu chimes.
"Yeah?" Yunjin says as she traces her hands along Kazuha's hips and curves, the lines that make her. She touches her thighs, and then she moves her fingertips to the cheeks of her ass. "Well." A kiss on the flesh of it. "You know. She does have such a pretty ass," she whispers.
"You both do," you reply as you mimic Yunjin's touches on her own ass.
She smiles into the skin, pressing more soft kisses along it. Her fingernails dig in gently as her mouth presses a little harder against it. Yunjin drags her nails over it, making marks. Yunjin moans softly, burying her mouth deeper between the cheeks. Kazuha arches with a moan of her own, rocking back. Yunjin sinks deeper, eating her girlfriend's ass like it was the last meal she'd have for days. The sounds are wet and hungry. Her moans are muffled as her mouth does its work. "God..." Yunjin groans into the flesh. Her hands roam up to Kazuha's sides, and she digs her fingers in and holds her, rocking the woman's hips against her face. It's like she can't get enough, and the taste must be so fucking intoxicating.
You're back inside Yunjin, the end of the train. She shivers again, moans again. Her nails drag up the small of Kazuha's back, marking the line of her spine with the gentle red trails. Her teeth scrape against Kazuha's skin, and she presses the pad of her tongue between her asscheeks again.
Yunjin's dress is still bunched at the waist, you bunch it and then hold it firm: it pulls tight across her toned stomach and gives you a handle, a grip to hold. You thrust into her, hard. She groans into Kazuha, and in turn, Kazuha gasps into Xinyu.
You hear Xinyu moaning, a note that arcs and echoes and then tapers off again. Kazuha is humming, soft and quiet, and Yunjin groans deeply. When the three of you all start to sync up, to fall into one steady beat, it feels right. It's everything falling together. Waves on the sand.
Xinyu is gasping; her head is back, and her throat is exposed, and her body is writhing with pleasure. She has her fingers buried in Kazuha's hair, clutching at it desperately, as she rocks back onto her tongue, onto her mouth, her hips bucking erratically. You're fucking Yunjin in slow and deep thrusts that have her moaning and shuddering, her fingers gripping hard into the dancer's thighs, and she's eating that ass with hunger, her own body responding to each motion of your hips in a ripple of a wave that runs up her spine, one after the next after the next.
This was never meant to last. There is no way.
You're on edge. Xinyu's on the precipice, and Kazuha is shaking.
There is no way, you say it again, and that's how your mind feels: unsteady, untethered, and it's in that haze that you slip your free hand to Yunjin's hip and guide it under her, have her press two fingers into the slickness that's so familiar, that she knows so well. You tell her. "Make your girlfriend cum." It's not an order. You've no authority here, in the mess that this has become, but she does, doesn't she: she's the only one who could get someone to sing for the world to see.
It's just seconds after when she slips the digits up inside that the woman is shaking, her back arching, and she's moaning in tandem with the way her hips roll back on you. Yunjin's fingers plunge deeper inside, and Kazuha shivers in delight. And then there's the smallest cry of a sound, and she's spilling wet onto the hand that keeps pushing her down. "You're so beautiful, Kazu," Yunjin murmurs, the words muffled by how she's buried her face between those cheeks, she's so damn close to her own climax. Kazuha is trembling, shaking. She moans out her release into Xinyu's wet cunt.
Thighs clamp hard on Kazuha's head. "Yes—" Xinyu cries out, as her hips rock upwards, bucking on Kazuha's mouth as she rides the orgasm hard, hands at her own breasts, groping greedily as her tongue drags her bottom lip under white, teeth bared: it's like a growl, almost, or a snarl, her eyes open wide, but staring right through everything.
And that's what pushes you over. You grab hard onto Yunjin's hip, the bunched fabric of her dress. Your fingernails drag against her flesh as you rut into her, hips thrusting again and again. She can't help the gasp, the sound, as your nails scrape deep into her thigh. She's so sensitive. The skin so soft and so receptive to touch. That noise turns into a moan. You know the sounds of her now. She doesn't need to tell you. You know. The pace of her breathing changes, and you hear the breathy little whimpers. When she gasps and when her cunt flutters, you can tell that she's close. And you know, when she cums because of the shuddering that runs up her body, the tensing of her muscles and that moaning that starts low and quiet before it grows, and then it explodes out of her in a sudden burst, like fireworks.
Xinyu's curling a finger. A beckon. You have a place to take, kneeling over her, and a finish that she demands.
"You know what to do, don't you?" she teases, a laugh on the tip of her tongue: that sharp and mischievous smirk, and the eyes that gleam in the light.
"I do."
She turns her gaze on the couple on the floor, the girls who've sunk onto one another. You can hear Yunjin laughing. Kazuha's fingers trail over her face, tracing the outline. "Go ahead," Xinyu says to you: not permission but expectation.
She presents her face as if it's a canvas and, yeah, sure, maybe you've done this more times than you can count, but you've still got your hand on your dick and the other on the back of Xinyu's neck, rubbing like it's the first time, and—
There it goes.
"God," Yunjin groans, "that's pretty."
Kazuha's contented hum agrees. They both reach a hand out to run their fingers across the mess of your cum, spreading it across the smooth expanse of skin, painting their art of Xinyu. There are no lines, no patterns, just the abstract swirl and the smearing that follows.
"Should take a photo," Kazuha suggests. "For posterity's sake."
"Too late," Yunjin mutters as she leans in to lick at the slick of white on the woman's cheek.
Soon, they're both at it, cleaning your girlfriend like she was the world's finest delicacy. And she basks in the attention. The centre of it. She's used to that kind of spotlight, though you don't think anyone shines as bright as her.
Yunjin takes a mouthful, opening to show the white on her tongue, and then her lips collide with Xinyu's. The cum is passed, tongue-to-tongue, a kiss shared. They share it with each other, a kiss that is truly sordid. You hear Kazuha's moan of excitement before you even realise what's happening: she joins in, making the kiss a trio. Three mouths passing your cum back and forth and the sound of their soft moans of delight.
It's hard to fathom that this is only the beginning. It's almost as difficult to comprehend just how far it's already gone, and the truth, as you see it, is that it doesn't need to make sense. Some nights are destined for excess. Nights like these. With a trio like this. You're not asking for any answers: all you're asking is that the four of you sink deeper, lose yourself to it.
The girls break the kiss, and Xinyu says, "You know, he has this walk-in shower. The big kind." You can hear the smirk in her tone like she knows just the kind of trouble she'll cause with her words.
"Yeah? I bet we could all fit in it," Kazuha hums, and there's that look of hers again, a little devious but mostly playful: a look of a girl who just wants to please everyone she comes into contact with. She can't seem to get enough, and she's just dying for a taste of more. Her hands slide along both women's waists, pulling them in a tighter embrace. Xinyu looks at you.
"You did always say—"
"I did."
"And, honestly, there's no better—"
"I know," you tell her, climbing to your feet and holding out a hand. "Come on."
#Yunjin smut#Kazuha smut#Xinyu smut#lesserafim smut#triples smut#male reader#kpop smut#m reader#Kazuha x reader#praelmas#smut#kpop fanfic#Yunjin x reader#kazuha x yunjin#xinyu x reader#xinyu x yunjin#xinyu x kazuha#it's a hot mess#partner swapping
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two birthday snippets
For my dear friend Cat of TMI Source.
Jace& Clary (happy birthday, Jace!) from Better in Black:
“Remove your mind from the gutter for a moment,” said Clary. “We have to find Maryse’s brother, and bring him home.”
To her surprise, Jace looked worried. “There’s the chance he won’t want to come home.”
“Of course he will. Think how you would feel, if you spent decades completely cut off from your family, your friends, everyone and everything you know.”
“I think,” Jace said carefully, “that I would feel extremely angry, if my family and friends and everyone I knew made me choose between them or losing you.”
“All the more reason to find him and tell him things are different now. That Maryse is different.”
“What if he doesn’t care? Just because she wants his forgiveness doesn’t mean he’s ready to forgive. And…” Jace looked away. “Sometimes losing someone hurts less than getting them back.”
And some Kel&Antonetta from Ragpicker King:
Kel turned to Antonetta. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I should have thanked you. You saved our lives.”
She took the front of his jacket in her small hands. The wind off the water bit at them coldly; Antonetta was shivering. Kel wanted more than anything to wrap her up in his cloak. “What happened, Kel?” she whispered. “Who were those people? Why were they chasing you? And the people you’re with—”
“Antonetta.” His throat ached, hard, as it had not in years—not since that first time she had turned away from him, at her debut ball, and he had forced himself to show nothing, to give no sign that it hurt. Antonetta, I can’t tell you. I want to, but I cannot.
“Don’t ask me,” he said. “If you demand an answer, I will lie to you. And I am a very good liar.”
“I know,” she whispered.
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can I request headcanons of x-men 97 team x reader who is an absolute sweatheart and is just the cutest thing to exist.
Coming right up!
X-Men '97 X Sweetheart! Reader
Characters: Nathan Summers/Cable, Scott Summers/Cyclops, Remy LeBeau/Gambit, Jean Gray, Jubilee, Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto, Morph, Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler, Rogue and Logan/Wolverine.
Warning: Mild Cursing, but overall SFW.
A/N: Can I please get someone to remind me to actually post when I'm supposed to? Anyone? XD
Cable
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“Time to get to work, keep up!… You want me to carry you? Heh, say less.”
Oh Nathan, Nathan, Nathan. He tries his best to be as tough and straight to business like his old man. Always a man to try and change the future and fight for the people with a straight face. But as soon as you’re around him, your sunshine energy radiates onto him. You make the freedom fighter have a need to impress you on the field when he’s not showering you in love outside of missions.
What really drew you to him was just how careful you were with his body. How you complimented his eye and stroked his robotic arm with so much care. It has made him really adore the end of the days where particular expeditions took a lot of energy out of you two, resulting in cuddles and sweet nothings. He never understood the whole concept of loving someone like his dad loved his mom, but after meeting you, he finally understood what they had was sacred. What you two had was sacred. Nathan has lost a lot in his life, but he’ll be damned if he loses you.
Cyclops
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“Are you alright?! You’re not hurt, are you? I’m not overexaggerating- I’m worrying the right amount!”
Scott can be a pain in the neck during missions. He’s always one to bark out orders and keep a level head on missions as the leader of the X-Men. And if there’s one order that’s always on the top of his list, it’s making sure you are safe. He’s by all means not an overprotective or possessive lover, but he makes it a daily part of his life to always check on his beloved. Whenever you are just being yourself, you can find him staring at you, taking in your cute energy and reciprocating it with his own cute antics like kissing your cheek or giving you gifts when you least expect it.
Are the team a bit jealous of you having Scott’s favoritism? A bit. But hey, they’d rather someone like you have the best of Scott than the worst. Even if that also includes his defensive nature of you along with his jealous antics. He means well. You know it, sometimes you just have to remind him. Whether it be with a simple talk or a passionate kiss. Face it, you keep the leader of the X-Men grounded.
Gambit
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“Ah, just the person I was looking for. Is it just me or are you getting more breathtaking every day, mon cher?"
When it comes to you, Remy is bound to flirt twenty four seven just to see that nice shade of pink color on your cute little cheeks. And if he cant succeed in that, he’s bound to have you smitten with his physical hold of your waist or his sincere compliments. He’s quite a charmer, anyone knows that, but with you, he adds another flare to himself; A sweet lover.
Gambit will always make it abundantly clear that you are the cutest person he’s ever met and how he can wager the perfect future with you by his side. Expect this man to shower you with surprise trips away from the mansion, a fresh breakfast almost everyday and a little card show if you are ever upset, because if there’s one thing he hates more than anything, it’s you being upset. You are the only one that can make Gambit so emotional because he just loves you so so much. And if you ever forget, he doesn’t mind reminding his raison de vivre.”
Jean Gray
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“I wish you could see what was in my mind… Maybe then you’d realize how much you mean to me, my love.”
When it comes to Jean, you’ve basically hit the jackpot on one of the most open and loving girlfriends you could ever ask for. You aren’t just a sweetheart, you are her sweetheart. She always touches you like a porcelain doll, staring into your eyes with so much affection of her own and giggling whenever you hug or hold her, prompting her to hold you or hug you back just as tightly. On missions, she is in the zone, but as soon as they are over, she’s heading straight to you to check if you are injured. And if you’re not? Expect this woman to shower you in so many compliments and love that you might just drown from the cuteness.
Jean isn’t just your protector, but also your best friend, always free to try anything you want to try and do what you want to do.Dare she say, you might be the love of her life. Screw being lovers, she wants to be a married couple. But as much as that gets her excited, she’ll take her time for you, because she knows whether it takes her whole life or a single day, she doesn’t mind waiting for the fateful day.
Jubilee
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“That was awesome! Did you see me out there- Did you?! Let me let you in on a secret; That last one was for you~!”
Because of how young she is and her lack of a love life, Jubilee is still pretty new to the whole dating and falling in love thing. But when she met you, she knew she was bound to fall in love with someone so positive and full of life. An embodiment of a firework if she said so herself. She always drags you around town with her to hangout at arcades or spend time in the mall grabbing lunch and doing cute couple things.
She cares about you enough to ask other X-Men members advice on how to treat you or show you how much you mean to her. It honestly impresses and shocks the team how this troublemaker tries her best to make you feel like the luckiest person in the world dating her. If she’s not showing her love for you through domestic activities, then look outside your window at night. You are bound to find Jubilee sending you love with her fireworks bound to make you giggle and smile. Which is always delightful because when you are filled with so much happiness, so is she.
Magneto
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“What we have is stronger than any magnetic pull I’m capable of. It’s terrifying. But also magnificent.”
If you ever wanted to be treated like royalty, Magneto is the man for you. Erik treats you like you are a precious flower that could be destroyed by the mutant hating world around you. Because of this, he is so careful with you, yet not overbearing. If you want to hang out outside or simply hang out with him, he doesn’t mind as long as no one looks at you the wrong way or touches you with ill intent. Because if they do?… Let’s just say Magneto can do a lot with his powers.
When he’s not making sure you’re safe, he is awestruck at your innocence and your positive outlook on life. At first, he actually found your vision of the world to be immature, untrue and above all stupid. But the more he’s spent time with you, you’ve seem to have melted his cold heart a bit. Does he still think humanity is the scum of the Earth and nothing can change? Yes. But with you by his side, showing him what love, understanding and acceptance can be, maybe, just maybe, he can see where you’re coming from.
Morph
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“Why the long face, babe? I can do a mean Magneto impression that’s sure to make you smile… Haha! There’s my love!”
Around people, Morph treats you almost like one of the guys, in a figurative sense. They don't treat you any differently from the rest of his friends and family within the team. But behind closed doors or when you two are alone, all bets are off. They are melting at your sweet nature and so quick to try to make you laugh, smile or get physical with them. Man, do they love when you get physical with him- They adore it!
But what they really loves is how caring and protecting of them you are. They've told you about their past, their run in with Mister Sinister and their time away from the team. And no matter how many nightmares or moments of body dysmorphia he experiences, they love how you are always there to pick up their loose pieces and put them back together with your gentle touch and gentler words. Because of this, they're always there to return the favor and comfort you as well when you are at your lowest. You are their best friend sorry Logan and their beloved and they wouldn’t want it any other way.
Nightcrawler
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“Liebe meines Lebens. You never cease to take my breath away.”
Kurt is a pretty romantic person, especially when it comes to you. He showers you endlessly in love, rubbing his nose against yours, showering your face in kisses and becoming putty when you hold him, even if it’s just by his arm! He cherishes moments where the both of you hang out, especially by gardens where he makes cute flower crowns with you. Though just any moments with you are the highlight of his day. On missions, you two synergize perfectly well with the blue mutant complimenting you on your moves and takedowns of foes.
Kurt is an expert at physical touch for a love language, but he’s just as amazing with his words, especially with the nicknames he’s given you. He’ll make sure everyone knows that you are his Schatz, Herz, bessere Hälfte, and of course, Liebe meines Lebens. To you, he’s a lot like a little puppy; Full of energy and always waiting for your attention and affection given to him. The team thinks you two are cute even if they find it a bit annoying that Nightcrawler is always teleporting you two all over the place. It’s not too bad though since the sound of your mixing laughter is enough to make everyone’s hearts soar happily.
Rouge
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“Hey, Sugar! I missed you so much today! Now come here, I at least want a hug!”
Rogue is super careful of you. You are just too precious to her and she doesn’t want to hurt or break you with her powers. So she makes sure you both have ways of showing one another how much you love each other, especially herself. Outside of soft hugs, she tries her best to give you a hand covered kiss. Though she can be super cheesy and exchange indirect kisses with rocks, feed you while chuckling at how adorably you stare at her like she hung the stars above. She’ll even have you both set up for dinner plans and fly you around in the sky if you ever want to destress from work as a X-Man.
You both have a cute relationship, even if there are moments where Rogue wonders if she deserves you or if she will ever be enough for you due to her destructive powers and the possibility she will never be able to touch you. These revelations have led to emotional nights, but the promise you make to touch her and make her the happiest woman in the world always makes Rogue realize that she is beyond lucky to have you. You make her want to find a way to touch you no matter what. And mark her words, she will.
Wolverine
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“Woah, little pup. I was just gone for a few hours, you act like I went to war or something! Aw, screw it, come here.”
Logan has fallen in love with many men and women during his years of living. But damn has he never met anyone quite like you! When he met you, he thought your whole sweetheart shtick was fake, no offense. He thought it was some trick used to get people to lower their guards around you so you can get the upper hand on them. But when he found out you really were the sweet soul everyone hyped you up to be, he slowly but surely fell for you. He fell for how you spoke to him with such understanding and patience. The way you touched him was with the utmost care when you took care of him and helped him clean blood from your adventures with him that got out of hand.
Logan fights for many people, but for you he will kill anyone that hurts you or makes you cry. Your smile lights up his whole life, your laugh pushes him to be stronger to preserve it and your touch makes him feel alive in a world that always knocks him down. If it’s not the X-Men, Wolverine usually fights for himself and only himself. But now that he has you to lose, he fights for the both of you and a future where you both can live a peaceful life you’re both proud of.
If you got any requests for X-Men '97, Blue Eye Samurai, and or Arcane, send them my way!
Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3
#x men x reader#x men 97#x men#x men 97 x reader#x reader#fluff headcanons#x female reader#x you#x male reader#headcanons#cable xmen#cable x reader#cyclops x reader#jean grey x reader#gambit x reader#rogue x reader#nightcrawler x reader#nightcrawler x oc#jubilee x reader#magneto x reader#requests are welcome#requests are open#requests are still open btw#reqs open#anon ask#x innocent reader#x sweetheart reader#x sweetheart
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Ruin me, Love me, Lose me| fratboy&playboy!harry
Summary: You hate Harry Styles. Or at least, you really, really want to. He’s the frat house king, the campus playboy, the smug asshole who always has a girl (or three) in his bed. You swear you’ll never be one of them.
And then one night, you kiss him.
And then another night, you sleep with him.
And then suddenly, you’re tangled in his sheets, in his arms, in his world, telling yourself it means nothing.
Until it does.
Wordt Count: 5k
A/N: Ah, yes. Another classic case of let’s make this as toxic as possible but pretend it’s fine because the tension is hot. This was supposed to be a slow burn, and then my brain said, “What if they suffered immediately instead?” Anyway, enjoy the angst, the mess, and the self-inflicted emotional damage. Love you, mean it. 💔 Based on this request!
Warnings:
Smut (18+ only)
Toxic relationships
Angst (like, a lot)
Jealousy & possessiveness
Alcohol use
Slight degradation & rough moments
Heartbreak (sorry in advance)
Some emotional whiplash
Questionable life choices
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆
The party is suffocating.
It reeks of stale beer, sweat, and something obnoxiously expensive, probably the cologne of some guy who thinks dousing himself in Tom Ford will make up for his complete lack of personality. Bodies are packed together like sardines, moving in drunken waves, grinding against each other to the bass-heavy music blasting from the speakers.
You feel completely out of place.
And honestly? You couldn’t give less of a fuck.
The only reason you’re here is because your best friend practically dragged you. Come on, she had pleaded, hands clasped together like she was making a sacred vow. You never go out, you never have fun, and I swear to God, if you don’t start acting like a college student at least once, I’m going to lose my mind.
So, against your better judgment, you let her shove you into a dress and apply a little makeup, hyping you up like this was going to be some life-changing experience. Spoiler alert: it’s not. It’s exactly what you expected: obnoxiously loud, unbearably sweaty, and full of people who are so wrapped up in their own egos that they wouldn’t notice if the house caught fire.
You’ve only been here for an hour, and you already want to leave.
You retreat to the kitchen, seeking some kind of escape. It’s quieter here, if only marginally. The countertops are littered with half-empty cups and sticky spills that no one will bother cleaning up. A couple is making out against the fridge like they’re in a fucking movie, completely unbothered by the fact that people are walking around them.
And then there’s him.
Harry Styles.
You don’t have to look directly at him to know he’s there, you feel his presence before you even see him. It’s like the air shifts when he walks into a room, demanding attention without even trying. He’s exactly the kind of guy you can’t stand: arrogant, entitled, and so used to getting his way that he probably doesn’t even remember the last time someone told him no.
Everyone here worships him.
It’s disgusting.
You finally glance up, and there he is, standing just a few feet away, leaning lazily against the counter like he owns the place. He’s wearing all black—ripped jeans, an unbuttoned shirt that shows off just enough tattoos to make girls swoon, and a smirk that tells you he knows exactly how good he looks.
His eyes flicker toward you, and in an instant, you know exactly what’s coming.
“Y’look like you hate it here, sweetheart.”
His voice is smooth, like whiskey on ice, laced with just enough amusement to let you know he finds this entertaining.
You exhale sharply, unimpressed. “That’s because I do.”
Instead of being deterred, his smirk deepens, like he finds your resistance amusing. He steps closer—not enough to be invasive, but enough to make it clear that he’s testing you, waiting to see how you’ll react.
“Then why are you here?” he asks, cocking his head slightly.
You don’t take the bait.
Instead, you roll your eyes, brushing past him with a dry, “Because some of us actually care about our friends.”
You expect that to be the end of it. Guys like Harry don’t waste time on girls who aren’t immediately fawning over them. He could have any girl in this house—hell, most of them would kill for the chance.
But he doesn’t let it go.
He follows.
And when you turn to glance back at him, you find his green eyes locked onto you like a predator stalking its prey.
It’s a look you’ve seen before—the kind that says he’s intrigued, that you’ve just become a challenge.
And you know, without a doubt, that Harry Styles never walks away from a challenge.
You should have seen it coming.
From that night on, it becomes a game to him—one you never agreed to play.
He makes it his personal mission to get under your skin, to test your patience at every opportunity. It’s not obvious at first, just small things that could almost be coincidental. A glance held for a second too long. A smirk thrown your way when you pass each other on campus. An overheard comment about some girl he hooked up with the night before, loud enough that he knows you’ll hear.
You don’t care.
(You do.)
But you refuse to give him the satisfaction.
The second run-in happens at another party, because of course it does.
This time, you arrive more prepared—mentally, at least. You’ve made peace with the fact that these events are unavoidable, that your best friend will always drag you to them, that the college social scene is a relentless cycle of alcohol-fueled chaos. You can survive a couple of hours. You’ll drink just enough to take the edge off, then find a way to slip out before midnight.
It’s a decent plan.
Until you see him.
He’s lounging on the frat house couch like it’s a fucking throne, an arm draped lazily over the backrest, legs spread wide in a way that’s both infuriating and devastatingly attractive. He’s surrounded by girls—of course he is—all of them leaning in, waiting for his attention, laughing too loudly at things he hasn’t even said.
You roll your eyes and turn away.
You don’t care.
(You do.)
You tell yourself you’re imagining it, but you can feel his eyes on you as you move through the party, can sense the smirk tugging at his lips. He doesn’t call you over, doesn’t make a scene—he doesn’t have to. The air shifts when he’s near, gravity bending in his favor.
And then, just when you think you’ve escaped unscathed—
“Y’keep lookin’ at me, sweetheart.”
The words send a sharp, unwelcome shiver down your spine.
You scoff before you even turn around, willing yourself to appear unaffected. “As if.”
His grin deepens, slow and lazy, like he enjoys watching you squirm.
You hate that it works.
You hate that the sharp cut of his jawline and the teasing glint in his eyes make your stomach twist in ways that aren’t entirely rooted in hatred.
You refuse to play his game.
You take a step back, ready to leave, but before you can—
His hand catches your wrist.
It’s not forceful, just firm enough to make you pause.
And then he leans in.
Close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, close enough that his voice drops into something dark and slow, something meant only for you.
“You sure about that?”
The scent of whiskey and expensive cologne wraps around you like a noose, tightening around your resolve.
You rip yourself away from him, but it’s too late.
Your body has already betrayed you.
And it will again.
Another night. Another party.
By now, you should have learned your lesson. But somehow, you always end up here—another crowded house, another room filled with drunken laughter and cheap beer, another encounter with him.
It’s inevitable.
You don’t even know how it starts this time. It’s not some grand moment, not some life-altering realization. It’s just him—pushing, teasing, testing. Like he always does.
You’re in the kitchen again, arms crossed, a drink in your hand that you’ve barely touched. You’ve been avoiding him for most of the night, keeping your distance, but it doesn’t matter. He finds you anyway.
He always does.
“Y’gonna keep ignoring me all night?”
You don’t even look up. “That was the plan.”
A low chuckle, the kind that makes your stomach clench. “M’not that easy to ignore, sweetheart.”
Unfortunately, he’s right.
You take a slow sip of your drink, willing yourself to remain unaffected. “Try me.”
And that’s all it takes. That single challenge.
His eyes spark with something dark and dangerous. His smirk sharpens. And then—
“You act like you hate me,” he murmurs, stepping in closer, “but we both know that’s not true.”
Your fingers tighten around your glass.
“It is.”
“Liar.”
You finally look up at him, glaring. “Go to hell, Harry.”
He grins, cocky and infuriating. “Take me there yourself.”
And then—
It happens.
Fast.
Too fast.
One second, you’re standing there, glaring at him. The next, his lips are on yours.
There’s no hesitation, no slow build-up, no moment to think. Just heat.
His hands are in your hair, fingers tangling, tugging. Your back meets the nearest wall, the cold surface a shocking contrast to the fire raging between you.
It’s rough. Desperate.
You should stop.
You should.
But his body is pressed against yours, and you can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything except feel.
Your fingers find their way to the hem of his shirt, gripping it like a lifeline. His hands slide down, tracing over your hips, pulling you in like he can’t get close enough.
And maybe he can’t.
Maybe you can’t.
He pulls back just enough to look at you. His lips are swollen, pupils blown wide, chest rising and falling in ragged breaths.
“Tell me you don’t want me,” he says, voice low, wrecked. “And I’ll stop.”
Your lips part.
To say what?
To tell the truth?
But before you can, before you even know what you want to say—
Your hands fist in his shirt.
And you crash into him all over again.
You pull away first, gasping for breath, your chest rising and falling in sharp, uneven movements. Reality slams into you like a freight train, but Harry doesn’t move. He watches you, his pupils blown, lips parted, his breath warm as it ghosts over your face. His hands are still on you—one firm at your waist, the other curled loosely around the nape of your neck. Holding you in place.
Like he’s afraid you’ll run.
Like he knows you want to.
A smirk tugs at his mouth, something smug and knowing. “Told you,” he murmurs, his voice rough, dark, like he’s just swallowed gravel. “You don’t hate me.”
You should.
You should hate him. You should push him away, put an ocean of space between you before this turns into something irreversible. Something you can’t take back.
But your body betrays you before your mind can catch up.
Your fingers tighten in the fabric of his shirt instead of letting go. Your legs feel weak, but you’re not sure if it’s from the adrenaline or the way he’s looking at you. His green eyes flicker in the dim lighting, unreadable, but there’s something behind them—something waiting, something burning.
Something dangerous.
“This is a mistake,” you whisper, the words shaky, uncertain. You don’t even know if you believe them.
His thumb drags along your jaw, featherlight, and his lips barely, barely graze yours when he speaks. “Maybe.”
That single word is enough to send your stomach into freefall. Maybe. Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe this is the worst idea you’ve ever had. Maybe you’re going to regret this the second the sun comes up.
Or maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll regret it more if you stop now.
Maybe that’s what terrifies you the most.
Your body makes the decision for you.
His fingers slide down your wrist, tracing the delicate skin there before his hand finds yours, fingers lacing together like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like they belong there.
And you let him take you.
The party behind you becomes a distant blur—flashes of neon lights, the thud of bass vibrating through the floor, drunken laughter echoing from downstairs. It all feels like it’s happening in another universe, detached from this moment. From him. From you.
Each step up the stairs feels heavier than the last, weighted with unspoken words, with history, with everything you’ve been pretending isn’t still there. The heat of his palm against yours sends sparks up your spine, and you squeeze your thighs together, ignoring the ache building in your stomach.
You don’t stop.
Not when you reach the landing.
Not when he leads you down the darkened hallway, past closed doors, past muffled voices, past all the chances you could have taken to turn back.
And not when he pushes open a door, guiding you inside.
Then—
The door clicks shut behind you.
The world disappears.
The second the lock turns, something inside you snaps.
There’s no hesitation this time. No second-guessing. No thinking. Just feeling.
Then he’s on you.
His mouth crashes into yours, rough and insistent, swallowing the gasp that slips from your lips. The kiss is nothing like the ones you’ve shared in the past—those were controlled, careful, measured. This? This is raw. Hungry. Starving.
His hands find your waist, gripping hard, pulling you flush against him. You can feel the way his chest heaves, the way his heartbeat slams against your own. Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging sharply, and he groans into your mouth, his grip tightening, like he’s trying to pull you even closer, like he wants to crawl inside you.
You barely have time to process before your back hits the wall.
You gasp at the contact, but he doesn’t let up. His lips trail down your jaw, hot and desperate, and when his teeth graze the sensitive spot beneath your ear, a sharp whimper escapes before you can stop it.
“Fuck,” he breathes, voice wrecked. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
His hands roam, sliding down your sides, gripping at your thighs, hitching them around his waist like he can’t stand the thought of any space between you.
You don’t think.
You move.
Your hands push his jacket off his shoulders, and he shrugs out of it without breaking contact. Your fingers fumble at the buttons of his shirt, but he beats you to it, ripping it open in one swift motion, buttons scattering to the floor.
Then his skin is against yours, and it sends a shockwave through your entire body.
Heat pools low in your stomach, a coil winding tighter and tighter with every brush of his hands, every press of his lips, every ragged breath against your skin.
Clothes disappear—hurried, impatient.
Your dress slips down your shoulders, pooling at your feet. His belt clinks as he unfastens it, the sound cutting through the heavy air like a gunshot.
You don’t stop him.
You don’t want to.
His hands grip your thighs again, lifting you effortlessly, and your legs tighten around him. You can feel him—hard, straining against the fabric still separating you.
There’s a pause, just for a second.
A breath.
His forehead presses against yours, his lips barely touching, his fingers digging into your skin like he’s trying to ground himself. His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper.
“Tell me to stop.”
You don’t.
Instead, you kiss him again.
And there’s no turning back now.
His body presses against yours, firm and unrelenting, as he walks you backward until the backs of your knees hit the edge of the mattress. He doesn’t let go. His hands are still gripping your thighs, still holding you against him like he’s afraid you’ll slip away.
Then he lowers you onto the bed.
The world tilts, and the air thickens as he leans over you, his weight bracing against his arms, caging you beneath him. His eyes flicker across your face—like he’s memorizing every inch, every breath, every little way you react to him. His fingers trace up your side, slow and teasing, and the way you shudder makes his lips twitch.
“Still think this is a mistake?” he taunts, voice low and rough as his lips brush against your collarbone.
Your breath hitches, but you don’t answer. You don’t have to. The way your fingers clutch at his back, the way your hips shift beneath him, the way your body is already arching into his touch—it’s all the answer he needs.
He smirks against your skin. “That’s what I thought.”
Then he stops talking.
Because there’s nothing left to say.
It’s messy. Desperate. The kind of passion that comes from months of unresolved tension, from too much history, from too many things left unsaid.
He kisses you like he’s trying to claim you. Like he’s trying to burn himself into your skin. Like if he kisses you hard enough, you’ll never be able to forget this—forget him.
His hands are everywhere. Exploring. Learning. Worshipping.
Every brush of his lips, every drag of his fingers, every slow roll of his hips is deliberate, pulling you apart piece by piece. He takes his time, but not too much time—because patience is a luxury neither of you have tonight.
You feel like you’re unraveling beneath him.
He notices.
He thrives on it.
His mouth moves lower, teeth grazing, tongue soothing. His fingers leave fire in their wake as they trail down your body, mapping out every inch, every soft curve, every sharp gasp he pulls from your lips.
It’s intoxicating, the way he touches you—like he already knows what you need before you do.
He whispers your name against your skin, and it sends a shiver down your spine.
Your hands are greedy, desperate as they roam over him—his shoulders, his chest, the firm muscles in his back. You want to touch all of him. Feel all of him.
And he lets you.
He lets you pull him closer, lets you tangle your legs around his, lets you drag your nails down his spine, leaving behind faint, red lines that he’ll wear like battle scars tomorrow.
The room is filled with nothing but heavy breathing, quiet moans, the rustle of sheets, the sound of skin against skin.
And when it finally happens—when he finally, finally gives you what you both need—it steals the breath from your lungs.
It’s not slow. It’s not soft. It’s not sweet.
It’s raw.
It’s rough, desperate, punishing. It’s weeks of tension snapping all at once, a storm breaking, waves crashing, a fire finally given the air it needs to burn.
His name falls from your lips like a prayer, like a curse, like something you were never supposed to say out loud.
He groans, his forehead pressing against yours, his breath ragged. His fingers lace with yours, pinning your hands above your head. His body moves against yours in perfect rhythm—pushing, pulling, giving, taking.
It’s the kind of night that changes things.
The kind you won’t be able to take back.
The kind that leaves its mark.
And then—
Stillness.
Silence.
Just the sound of your breathing, heavy and uneven, filling the space between you.
His body is still pressed against yours, warm and solid and grounding. The weight of what just happened settles in, thick and undeniable.
You should get up.
You should leave.
But you don’t.
Instead, you stay.
Just for a little longer.
But "a little longer" turns into something else entirely.
Because it doesn’t stop at one night.
It should have. You tell yourself that over and over again. That night—the way his hands fit so perfectly against your skin, the way he pulled you apart and put you back together, the way his mouth made you forget your own name—it should have been enough. A single mistake. A one-time thing.
But it isn’t.
It’s never just once.
It happens again. And again. And again.
It’s always late. Always secret.
Always a text, a glance across the room, a lingering touch when no one is watching. Always a whispered come here against the shell of your ear, a door clicking shut behind you, a tangle of limbs in the dark.
It’s never soft. Never sweet.
It’s fast, desperate, all-consuming.
It’s hands fisting sheets, breathless moans swallowed into pillows. His body pressed against yours, heavy and unrelenting, holding you down, keeping you exactly where he wants you.
And he knows what he’s doing to you.
He’s filthy, cocky, teasing—he draws it out just to make you beg.
“Knew you’d be so fuckin’ sweet for me, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, voice rough, wicked, smug.
His rings feel cold against your burning skin as his fingers trail down your stomach, between your thighs, spreading you open like a secret. Like something meant only for him.
You bite your lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a sound.
He chuckles, dark and knowing.
“This what you hate me for? Hm?” His lips brush against your jaw, down your throat, his breath hot and taunting. “’Cause I make you come harder than anyone else ever could?”
You hate him.
(You don’t.)
You hate that he’s right. That he knows he’s right. That he’s so good at this—at ruining you, at making you fall apart over and over again until you can’t think straight, until all you know is him. His name. His touch. His body moving against yours.
And every time, you tell yourself it’s the last.
That this is it. That you’re done.
That this means nothing.
And every time, you end up back in his bed.
But then you see him with someone else.
It’s late, the party is loud, and the music thrums through your body, drowning out everything else. You’re just stepping out for air when you spot him across the street. A girl is clinging to his arm, laughing at something he’s said, and his hand is low on her back as he leads her toward a car.
He doesn’t even look at you.
Doesn’t hesitate. Doesn’t falter. Doesn’t even pretend to care that you’re standing right there, watching him disappear into the night with someone else.
And it shouldn’t hurt.
Because you knew he wasn’t yours. You never asked him to be. Never wanted him to be.
Right?
So why does it feel like the ground just cracked open beneath you? Why does it feel like something inside you just snapped?
You go back inside, down a drink, let someone else pull you onto the dance floor. You lose yourself in the crowd, in the music, in the way someone’s hands settle on your waist—too light, too unfamiliar.
It doesn’t work.
Because when he finds you later, when he corners you in a dark hallway, there’s still fire burning in your chest, in your throat, in the way your hands clench at your sides.
He smirks, like nothing happened. Like he didn’t just walk out of here with someone else a few hours ago. Like he knew you’d still be here.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” His voice is low, amused. “Jealous?”
The word makes you snap.
“You’re disgusting.”
His smirk widens, but there’s something behind his eyes now—something sharper, more dangerous.
“Funny,” he murmurs, stepping closer, eyes dark, predatory. “Wasn’t what y’said last night.”
He reaches for you, fingers curling around your wrist, but you yank yourself away like he burns.
“We’re done.” Your voice is ice, your eyes colder.
And his smirk falters.
Just for a second.
Just long enough for you to see something else flicker across his face—confusion, disbelief, something dangerously close to panic.
Then it’s gone.
And he laughs. Soft. Low. Infuriating.
“That’s cute,” he drawls, tilting his head. “Think y’can just walk away from me.”
You meet his gaze head-on, jaw clenched, shoulders squared.
“Watch me.”
Then you turn.
And this time—this time—you don’t look back.
--
Weeks pass.
You don’t speak.
Not a word. Not a text. Not even a glance when you’re in the same room.
And it’s fine.
It has to be.
You throw yourself into distractions—work, friends, nights out where the music is too loud and the drinks burn too much. You let other people flirt with you. Let hands that aren’t his touch you. Let lips that don’t taste like him press against yours in dimly lit corners.
You pretend you don’t miss him.
(You do.)
But you tell yourself this is better. Cleaner. Easier.
Until you start hearing things.
He’s been drinking more.
Fighting more.
Losing his temper over nothing.
You overhear his name in conversations, whispered between mutual friends. You see his face in the back of a blurry Instagram story, bottle in hand, eyes dark and unfocused.
And you tell yourself it doesn’t matter.
You tell yourself he’s not your problem anymore.
Until he shows up at your door.
It’s late. Too late for him to be here.
The knock is sharp, impatient. Like he already knows you’re home. Like he already knows you’re going to answer.
You shouldn’t.
You hesitate, fingers hovering over the handle, breath caught somewhere in your throat.
And then—
“Just let me in.”
His voice is quiet. Rough.
You open the door.
And he looks wrecked.
Tired. Haunted. Something’s different.
There’s none of the usual arrogance, none of the teasing smirk, none of the sharp-edged confidence that he wears like armor.
Just him.
His hands shoved deep into his pockets, his jaw tight, his eyes heavy-lidded and unreadable as they drag over you like he’s trying to convince himself you’re real.
Your throat tightens. “Harry—”
“I know,” he cuts you off, shaking his head. “I know, just—”
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. His eyes flicker over your face again, and for a second—just a second—you swear you see something crack.
And then he looks at you like that.
Like you’re his last fucking breath.
Like if you tell him to leave, it’ll break him.
And you cave.
You step aside.
You let him in.
And maybe that should be enough.
Maybe the way he holds you like you’re something fragile, the way his breath stutters when you touch him, the way his lips tremble against yours—that should be enough.
But it’s not.
Because fear is still there. Lurking. Poisoning everything it touches.
And you should’ve known.
You should’ve known that no matter how much he wants this, no matter how much he means it in the moment—
He’s still him.
And you’re still you.
And happy endings don’t exist for people like you.
So of course, he fucks up again.
Not with another girl. Not with whispered names and lipstick stains and the kind of betrayal that you could at least understand.
No.
This time, he betrays you with his own fear.
It happens fast. A conversation that turns into an argument, an argument that turns into something worse.
Maybe it starts because you ask too much. Maybe it starts because he’s never learned how to let himself have something good.
But all you know is that suddenly—he’s cold.
Detached.
Suddenly, his walls are back up.
“I don’t do relationships,” he says.
Flat. Emotionless.
Like none of it meant anything.
Like you don’t mean anything.
And it hits you harder than any slap ever could.
You flinch, like you’ve been physically wounded, like he’s just driven a knife between your ribs and twisted it.
Your voice shakes. “Then why did you tell me you loved me?”
Silence.
His jaw clenches.
But he doesn’t answer.
And that’s the worst part.
Not the fight. Not the distance.
The silence.
The fact that he has nothing to say.
And that’s when you know.
That’s when you realize—
This is it.
This is the moment he chooses to let you go.
You shake your head, chest heaving, eyes burning, throat closing up around the words you don’t know how to say.
“You don’t get to do this to me.”
But he already has.
And this time, you don’t give him the chance to stop you.
You walk out.
You don’t look back.
And he lets you.
--
Weeks pass.
You try to move on.
You tell yourself that you’re better off. That you should hate him. That you do hate him.
But then, one night—he shows up.
At your dorm.
At your fucking door, looking like he hasn’t slept, looking like he’s been through hell and back.
His hands are shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, his jaw is tense, his eyes are desperate.
And you—
You want to slam the door in his face.
You want to tell him that he doesn’t get to do this.
That he doesn’t get to come back.
But you don’t.
Because you need to hear what he has to say.
So you glare at him, arms crossed tightly over your chest, forcing your voice to stay steady. “What do you want, Harry?”
He exhales sharply. “I lied.”
Your stomach twists.
You swallow. “About what?”
He hesitates. Shifts his weight. But then—he steps closer.
“About not doing relationships.”
And suddenly, the air is too thick, too heavy.
Your head shakes. Your throat tightens. “You don’t get to do this to me.”
“I know.” His voice is barely above a whisper. “I know, I just—” He sighs, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “I was scared, okay? I didn’t know how to—”
A pause. A beat of silence.
He looks at you, eyes searching, pleading.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
Your lips part. But you don’t say anything.
Because after everything—after all of it—how do you know?
How do you know if this time will be different?
So you stare at him, pulse hammering in your throat, chest rising and falling with uneven breaths.
And then—
“So prove it.”
The challenge hangs between you.
And for the first time in his life—
He doesn’t run.
He doesn’t push you away.
He doesn’t fuck it up.
Instead, he nods.
And he does. --
It’s not instant.
There’s no cinematic moment, no dramatic declaration in the rain, no sudden, sweeping realization that makes everything fall into place.
It’s slow. It’s awkward. It’s frustrating.
But it’s real.
The first time you see him after that night at your dorm, it’s different. He’s different.
He doesn’t smirk. Doesn’t tease. Doesn’t act like he already has you figured out.
Instead, he waits.
You’re the one who has to break the silence.
“You really think you can change?”
His jaw clenches, hands flexing like he wants to reach for you but knows he doesn’t have the right to.
“I know I can.”
And for the first time, you almost believe him.
--
It starts with the little things.
Like how he texts first. Every morning. Every night. Even when there’s nothing to say. Even when it’s just, Hey, eat something. Or, Are you sleeping? Or, I know you’re still awake, don’t lie.
Like how he shows up. Actually shows up.
Not just for the easy moments. Not just for the nights when he’s desperate for you.
But for the moments when you’re exhausted, when you’re in a bad mood, when you’re not the version of yourself that’s easy to love.
And he stays anyway.
--
The first time you test him, it’s almost accidental.
He calls, asks if you want to come over.
And for the first time, you tell him no.
A few months ago, that would’ve been the end of it.
A few months ago, he would’ve gone out, found someone else, let his frustration morph into recklessness.
But this time, he just exhales. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
A pause.
Then, softly— “Yeah, baby. That’s okay.”
And that’s when you realize—this isn’t the same boy who let you walk away.
He’s trying.
For the first time in his life, he’s trying.
--
It takes time.
Weeks. Months.
You make him work for it.
Because love shouldn’t be easy—not after everything.
Not after the hurt, the late nights spent waiting for him to choose you, the months wasted pretending it was nothing.
He should prove it.
And he does.
--
The first time he holds your hand in public, it’s instinctive. Thoughtless.
You’re walking down the street, talking about something unimportant, when suddenly—his fingers brush against yours.
And instead of pulling away, he just…takes your hand.
Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Like he’s not even thinking about it.
Like he’s not the same man who once made you feel like a secret.
You don’t say anything.
But you don’t let go, either.
And neither does he.
--
One night, he’s driving you home when he suddenly pulls over.
You blink at him. “Uh. What are we doing?”
His fingers drum against the steering wheel. He won’t look at you.
“D’you know the last time I did this?”
You frown. “Did what?”
“Took you home.” He swallows, finally turning to face you. “Last time, I let you walk away.”
Your stomach twists. You remember. Of course, you remember.
He inhales sharply. “Not this time.”
And then, he says it.
“I love you.”
Not because he’s scared. Not because he thinks you’re slipping away.
Just because he does.
And for the first time, you don’t have to question if he means it.
Because this time, he’s not running.
This time, he stays.
And this time—so do you.
☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆
Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like ❤️🔥
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