#or if i should just shelf her
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is the character you drew just recently a new character for colorquest?? or not?? and what's their name??
I don't know what she's for if anything yet, she was just a design that crossed my mind. Unlike most doodle designs I do though, she might stick around because I have already named her: Mia!
#mia lovehart was the name specifically that went through my head while drawing her#too sweet of a name maybe all together? idk. i dont know if i care SBDBFBFBSBS#ive been wanting to draw her out digitally but ive been busy since the day i got home >_<#to anyone reading these tags. i dunno!!! should i do anything with her.#does she feel like she could be anything. because i really can't decide if i should use her in something#or if i should just shelf her
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did some minor customization to one of my neutral chao figures so cream could have cheese with her if anyone cares
#sorry the lighting in this picture is not very good its the middle of the night so i cant just use my window for good lighting#anyway. to be honest with how small cream is compared to the average sonic figure despite being the same price as all the others#they should have had her come with cheese as her accessory to make up for it#but then again a chao costs the same amount as mini figures of other characters so they would probably never consider that#also im once again trying to rearrange my sonic shelf. things are looking slightly less chaotic but im still not satisfied#so will probably mess with it some more#my main issue i have is i can never decide How exactly i want to arrange things#like do i wanna arrange them based on what kind of item it is. what character it is. the specific media its based on.#idk . i have so much stuff that i never know how to arrange it all#little guy images
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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on losing a mother
#yelling#s.poem#mom tag#poetry#okay to reblog#it's officially been over a year since the last time i saw my mom.#her skin was translucent paper thin and she looked so fragile in tht hospital bed but she was supposed to be getting better#and she did. for about a month.#she went back into the hospital 3 days after my birthday.#she stayed there for like 2 weeks and then died about a week after she checked herself out.#the last time she ever texted me was on my birthday. i waited two days to text back. and i never heard back from her.#the next time i saw her she was a pile of grey ashes in a plastic urn. she sits on my shelf now. i haven't gotten her a new urn yet.#i try not to feel guilty. there wasn't much i could do from a thousand miles away#but i still feel the guilt every day itching under my skin and screaming at me in my mind that i should have done better#that i should have been there for her#her phone number has since been given to someone else. i deactivated her facebook account. i cleaned out her apartment & threw away almost#all of her belongings.#i took photo albums. i took some jewelry - including the ring she wore as she was cremated. it survived the fire. the funeral home put it#in the urn with her ashes. i wear it sometimes just to feel like there's still a part of her with me.#but she's gone and i don't believe in an afterlife and neither did she#there's some comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain that she is no longer suffering#but i still sit here and i think of all the things i never got to tell her and the new things i want to tell her every single day#i never got to come out to her. not really. i never got to tell her that i understood what she went thru with my dad because i lived it too#anyways. sorry for going off in the tags. i'm okay i promise. just feeling a lot of feelings right now.
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genuine question am i just a bitch for being upset over something .
#my mom decided to open some of my dads batman figurines. figurines dad never got to open.#theyve been unopened on a shelf since dad died. i THOUGHT we agreed to leave them unopened.#apparently not! because the second my niece decides she wants to play with them (THEY ARENT TOYS BTW) she just. opens two of them.#without even asking me. she wouldve pressured me into saying yes either way so i guess it doesnt matter but.#im. am i just a bitch for not wanting my four year old playing with my dads stuff. especially stuff he never even got to open himself.#am i genuinely just being an ass because seeing that made me want to cry.#i dont care that she put them back in the box SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK ME.#THAT WAS *MY DADS* STUFF. I SHOULD AT LEAST BE ASKED RIGHT? AM I CRAZY.#it wasnt mine but it wasnt hers either. its dads. its his. we shouldnt be messing with it. any of us. no one should be messing with it.#we should leave it alone. its not ours. and its definitely not ours to give to a TODDLER who might BREAK IT.#NOT TO MENTION SHE COULD HURT HERSELF IF THOSE THINGS BROKE.#idk. i. im really shaken up. maybe im just a bitch.
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I tend to think of do hyun soo as very clever and good at reading people, but then i remind myself of his wife taking him to his father's old serial killer den and playing him a recording of his mom and my boi still not realizing she'd found out about his little secret and then this thought goes away
#like my friend my boy my beloved#are you dumb#you're so clever but baby boy why#i genuinely thought at some point he was just playing along#still#i don't get the 'pathetic wet men' vibes i usually get from my faves#he's my very special blorbo but he can't go on the pathetic wet men shelf so i need a new shelf#but that whole 'my wife doesn't know anything' part after her giving him a million hints is just beautiful#flower of evil#shut up amy#yeah i watched it in less than 3 days#i have ignored everything i Should have done these 3 days#no regrets
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I think one of the biggest things that caused me to be weird (other than being an only child to 40 year old parents) is that instead of getting Percy Jackson books at 4/5 I got ‘Gods and Heroes of Ancient Greece’ by Schwab. So when I started reading myself at 6 instead of reading about Percy going on adventures I read about how each generation of humans is worse than the previous one, how Zeus punished Prometheus for helping people. The uncensored versions of myths that definitely changed the way I developed and thought. While kids around me were reading kids books for fun I was reading how Zeus chased around girls and how Hera punished them. How heroes got torn to shreds by their own dogs for an honest mistake. How kids killed their parents because they were bad for the earth and they couldn’t advance like that.
#I had a weird childhood#I was gifted the books by a family friend#my parents didn’t bother to learn what exactly was in the books#but I also had them read other weird stuff to me like the Grimm stories and fairytales#bc I learned the Disney books by heart and they got boring#I also picked up charlotte’s web by myself at the age of 9#I just had it on my shelf and the cover looked ok#there was also this one time my cousin got a fairytale book#where the vilans of every story died/ got punished at the end#I remember her crying about how everyone deserves a second chance#meanwhile I was advocating for how they should be punished and deserved what they got#we were 11#Zoey talks#personal#only child#Greek mythology#books#childhood
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On the one hand, the fact that neither of my nieces are into dolls is a huge bummer to me, mainly because dolls were such a huge part of my life when I was their ages and I would love to engage with them the way I wished someone would've with me when I was a kid.
...But on the other hand sometimes they're gifted dolls that they don't want, and knowing that I collect them, they'll hand em over to me.
#which is to say my older niece gave me the g3 ghoulia doll she got for christmas#mind you its still in the box!#i still feel weird taking it tho like i should ask her mom (my sister) if its ok#but at the same time i know she doesn't care and its not the first time she's given me a doll#monster high#monster high g3#ghoulia yelps#its funny to me that its ghoulia out of all of them tbh#i feel so neutral towards her that im not particularly excited to have her as much as im just happy to be given a free doll#the fact she doesnt have a stand is annoying tho cuz my shelf is full as hell#you know what tho the fact i didnt buy her makes me want to alter her a bit#maybe just her hair to make it more show accurate#id love to change her brows too becuz why the hell are they brown#tbh tho monster high has always been kinda weird about the eyebrow colors#text post#this was a huge tag ramble#i haven't seen my niblings in a while and haven't posted in a while so i feel like i got a lot to say
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let your girlfriend do your makeup, they said. you won't be bombarded with agonizingly gay thoughts, they said.
Reblogs appreciated! Ronnie (right) uses she/her! S/I (left) uses they/them!
#if it's not clear by the color palette this is ronnie's room#I've got no clue what's on the shelf I just thought it looked cute#this took SO long *glares at ronnie and her million friggin pearls) but I love how it came out :3#based on The Iconic Lesbian Makeup Image of course<3#Art 🎨#Ronnie 💎#selfship#selfship art#f/o x s/i#romantic f/o#nblw selfship#You should take it as a compliment 💎
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This was too good to just leave on twi- [I am shot for not calling it X]
#Nah you don't deserve what IS did to you#but Nowi just finding an egg and hatching it herself is something she would do#Her hair colour? a concidence#I should make a doodle for all the characters I keep on the top shelf away from IS#fire emblem#fe13#fire emblem awakening#fe awakening#nah fire emblem#the post this was made in responce too was about how long it takes for Dragons to reproduce#ala Ena's twenty year pregnancy or how human won the scouring by reproducing faster
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desperately trying to remember if there are any books i read this year that i cannot find on my library borrowing history or simply cannot remember. i am so bad about remembering books. LITERALLY REMEMBERED ONE AS I'M WRITING THIS POST. anyway i am attempting to compile a list of books that i've read this year so that i can reference it without having to forget everything. wish me luck. i have fifteen titles on there right now but i can't shake the feeling there's something i'm forgetting
#checking my shelf of books i got for school??? idk#none of this is helped by the way that i have seven thousand books waiting to be read right now and all of them are on my mind#and several of them i am partway through. but i cannot put bell hooks all about love on my list yet i just can't#opened this is how you lose the time war today. not liking it super much but it's not even 200 pages so we'll pound through it#and then my three books from merc (princess bride and two books from the fight club guy)#and all about love. and interview with the vampire#WITCHER NOVELS!!! I READ WITCHER NOVELS AGAIN!!!! adding two more books to my list#god i'm not even through blood of elves yet. awful. this is why i can't keep anything up i forget my ebooks exist as options#then i should read that book about eleanor roosevelt that my grandma got me. as a token to her dskfjghs#wanna reread the hours! have a physical copy just for that so i can annotate#gotta finish the once and future king.#all that to say that there are many books that will be on this list once i actually sit down and read some of them#have to remind myself that i Am actually doing good i'm at over a book a month rate. this is fine#two books a month rate! actually!#shout out to library due dates for being a fantastic motivator#seventeen books on the 'read' list this year. this is fine bracken. you're doing good#realistically this is SO much better than previous years 😭 good stuff. just gotta keep reading#valentine notes#list that would have been so useful to have when we were doing that book recommendation thing
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im probably gonna have to rearrange my sonic action figure display AGAIN because big werehog doesnt really fit anywhere on the shelf as its set up currently. endless pain and suffering forever
#i put a lot of thought into the way the characters are arranged like i make sure to display them in a way where everyone is visible#while also arranging the characters in a way that i feel makes sense. like team sonic + amy are all together in the front row#the second and third row are supporting characters who are also grouped with their friends/teammates#like cream is in a separate row from amy but is placed behind her so theyre still close together and shes next to blaze whos next to silver#whos next to espio whos directly in front of vector whos in the back row because hes so tall#not going into extreme detail about everyones placement just wanted to give an idea of whats going on here#idkw here to put the bigger werehog figure like hes massive so it feels like he should go in the back#but he straight up doesnt fit. like the riser is too tall for him to be able to stand on it#i could put him somewhere in the front maybe ? since hes a sonic. but id have to push a few things around to make him fit#without completely blocking tiny little cream on the second row#also i dont even have enough space for all my figures to be on the display lmaooo a bunch of my classic minis arent on there#simply because idk where to put them. so theyre just hanging out on my playsets which are on a separate shelf#its a mess out here
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when i was out shopping yesterday i found a rainbow high doll that ive been wanting but her face was dirty for some reason😭 so i didnt end up buying her, but i regretted it so much that i ordered her on amazon a few minutes ago LOL
#i should have just ordered her on amazon to begin with tbh#but i was trying to find her potentially on sale in store#if i remember correctly the one yesterday had the same price as the one on amazon so whatever#i also have no shelf room left so idk where im gonna put her lmao#shut up rebecca
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@nosebleedclub 's February prompts. #28, memorial.
Today, I'll remember how your hand felt, on the edge of cold from sweating in that too hot autumn afternoon. I'll remember playing cards, an intricate game I didn't know the name of; just that you'd laugh, and it sounded like home.
I want to forget about the rum in my veins, how you always looked a little sad; how I couldn't justify it without spilling too many secrets. We were already soaked, saturated in the night.
Tomorrow, next month, next year; I'll work up the courage to call you again. Not yet, not yet; I'm not ready. You must be so busy anyway, you were always better than me. College graduate, and I'm just lucky to be here.
Today, there's a dress hanging in the closet; I think you'd like seeing me in it.
#sapphic poetry#poetry#spilled ink#vent poem#prompted writing#she was my best friend for a couple summers#we'd walk our dogs together. go back to her place and binge watch these youtubers she was obsessed with#i definitely had a crush on her but didn't know if she felt the same way#and never really got the courage to ask. even with a water bottle full of shitty lemonade and bottom shelf rum#she helped my apply for college but. yeah#i miss her but don't want to bother her more...#which is definitely kinda cowardly; i should at least give her a *choice* if she wants to reject me fine#or if she wants to even just be friends again id be grateful...#but ya'know. the terrifying ordeal of being known and all that
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vaguely considering comm//issioning someone to make plushes of my dogs
#redlady speaks#i bought a german shepherd plush when aragon died#although it turned out to be way smaller than i thought so it mostly just sits on my shelf#lucky's fine right now and dad apparently wants to go through with getting her surgery#but it feels like i should do the same for her when the time comes#although i'd want it to actually look like her and there aren't exactly a lot of english cream golden retriever plushes on amazon#…comming would probably be too expensive#idk#i like stuffed animals that are a bit smaller than like an average pillow#that's what i'd be looking for#but that'd be expensive as fuck i think#plus i don't know any artists who do plushes#(although i have a friend who would probably know of some...)#idk i probably won't pursue this
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I can't wait to start making all the girls and creating cute pajamas for them, too.
Vierna, Yvonnel, Minolin Fey, and Dab'nay are gonna have the BEST sleepover parties ever.
#if I have space to set it up after I move and settle in I totally wanna set aside a shelf to create like... actual scenes with#one of them would be One-Eyed Jax#I'd make the little backdrop and bar stools and counter and drinks#and set up Zaknafein and Valas at the counter together#Valas has one drink#Zak is fucking surrounded by them because he fucking KNOWS Arathis Hune is gonna come up in conversation#ooooh I should also make Liriel too#and Gromph#solely so I can set up a scene with her and Yvonnel annoying the HELL out of him#while Minolin Fey giggles in the background#as much as I kinda hate to waste the materials on her I might even make Quenthel just to commit to the bit#because I like to imagine her watching all this going down while Gromph is like 'REALLY SISTER? ARE YOU GOING TO ALLOW THIS?'#and she's just like 'hey brother remember when you TRIED TO KILL ME? because I do'#and then Kyorli's happily sitting on Liriel's shoulder munching on the cheese she just gave her without a care in the world
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