#or if i just get the vibes that this isn’t the friendship for those topics
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sucks ass i don’t have anyone to talk through my gender and sexuality and other assorted personal bullshit with tbh
#i have a friend but i don’t really talk to her about this kind of stuff#idk if im just afraid to talk about it in general bc it inherently requires interrogation of the self#and there are things i’m avoiding apparently so im just making excuses to never bring it up#or if i just get the vibes that this isn’t the friendship for those topics#yknow?#idk. i know i got shit to work through and part of that is work i do myself#but then also i know it helps to talk with others about it#about a lot of things actually#so yeah maybe rambling into the void would help but then that’s almost the ultimate echo chamber isn’t it?#i can’t notice a blindspot if i have nobody point it out to me right?#wouldn’t be a blindspot if i could pick up on it#idk. this is just a vent i guess#not necessarily looking for an audience rn bc im still all scribble brained about this shit#nd don’t know where to begin so bringing in another party would be silly and wasteful#to the void with love
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Astro Observations-19
I notice Earth suns tend to have a very bullying type of humor. Very harsh dry humor that’s borderline offensive is their style. Sometimes it’s hard to know if they’re joking or serious especially Capricorn’s 😭
Aries men are surprisingly not as hot headed as people would expect. It actually takes a lot before they really yell at you. Usually only if u insult something they’re passionate in. The women are a lot more hot headed & easily set off imo
Mercury Rx people usually struggle with speech or reading problems. I notice it can result in having a stutter or a lisp, dyslexia or just very bad social anxiety. In extreme cases I’ve seen selective mutism. I also notice they have a very intense relationship with books & reading, it’s either they absolutely love reading or it’s really challenging for them in some way. A lot started off in their earlier years finding reading challenging then ended up loving reading as they grew. It’s like a mental exercise for them.
Saturn RX people always make bad choices lol. They always choose the path that will lead to the most hardship just for the fun of it or the excitement (which it’s normally not fun for too long) they usually grew up having a hard time with authority. Could of had very authoritative parents that were too hard on them which caused them to rebel. In this lifetime they are here to learn the value of HARD-work because in past lives these people were usually really irresponsible & put fun and pleasure over building their futures. These people will face so much disappointment until they surrender their rebel lifestyle. Deep down they do want to mature & be better but many believe they aren’t good enough. Once they reach this maturity however their life will do a 360.
Venus in the 1st house people can act very unpleasant when they are getting ignored or the attention isn’t fully on them. They value people liking them & fitting in so when they feel like they aren’t vibing with anyone they go into this deep self pity downer attitude. Their self esteem and happiness is determined by how many people accept them.
Venus in the 3rd house people have relationships that look more like friendships. Their partnerships are more playful & light then deep and intense. They usually end up dating their best friend. Could lack in the physical realm however in some cases.
Venus in the 7th house people usually have a lot of crushes. Most of them however never turn into anything deeper. It’s surprisingly hard for these people to fall in love. They can also lead a lot of people on because of their multiple crushes. Not easy to keep these people attention.
Moon in Caps are really afraid of rejection. They will act they hate you even if they’re in love with you to avoid showing their vulnerable side. Their coldness can ruin a lot of relationships that they actually really wanted.
Mercury in Pisces people can never stay on topic while speaking 😂 they have this habit of going off topic then completing forgetting why they were even telling the story in the first place. They also disassociate like a mf. They can be staring dead in your eyes for hours and not hear a word you’re saying lol.
If you try to argue with a Mars in the 3rd house you will never win. These people are natural born lawyers. They come with all the receipts 👀
Cancer placements tend to have really round faces. Like the moon.
Pisces placements are really wise and really childish at the same time. They all have this naive childish aura around them where you assume they don’t understand much but then when you really get to know them they will talk to you like your listening to an Alan Watts lecture 😂
Mercury in the 12th house I believe is the most introverted mercury placement. Even with a more extroverted mercury sign there’s still this deep reserve to them. These are usually those kids in class that you never heard speak once then they finally speak u think “holy shit they do know how to talk” lol. I notice they choose to stay quiet because people ignore them anyways. Like people will ask them to be more open and talk more & when they actually try they are usually brushed off.. it’s really not fair, and they know this all too well.
Aquarius Venus 🤝 having their friends catch feelings for them
Uranus/Venus aspects are usually apart of the LGBTQ community.
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How do you headcanon regulus personality to be like? Do you feel as though James and regulus complement each other in some ways?
why yes of course! i fundamentally disagree w outwardly mean and evil regulus bc it makes no sense canonically. perhaps in an au where he separates himself from his parents and gets to be happy but regulus cares too much to be outwardly rude to people . it would impact his reputation and his families reputation like he isn’t hexing people in the hallways . he’s a professional faker (shit talks behind people’s back most definitely) and feels guilty and horrible everytime he’s plagued with an evil thought . i know many people view him as a selfish character but i think he’s fundamentally not . he puts everyone else’s wishes for him above his own . he doesn’t really exist as a person outside of his family . i do think , outside of this control, he would be sarcastic and have very dry humor , would love to read and would be very introverted but long for connection and friendship. a loner not by choice, he enjoys company but has no idea how to reach for it. i think he loves magic and magical creatures and genuinely holds a lot of love in his heart that his family disapproves of !! regulus soft black !!! not to say i think regulus doesn’t have an attitude and an edge …. i just think he has fundamentally good morals sorry! i’m a good person regulus black enjoyer i can’t help it …. of course he’s morally gray but most of the decisions he makes r caused by the life long abuse and trauma he is subject to . regulus black was suicidal as hell in those deatheater meetings the moment he turned 18 he killed himself LMFAO . i just know he was the most uncomfortable person in there at any given moment . i think vaguely threatening posh regulus is true but it is his exterior and the assumptions ppl make … and then they get to know him and realize he’s got like a little kid version of himself who holds the world with so much fascination . and it makes you sad when you realize he thinks it’s a flaw and wants to stomp it out
in this way i think he compliments james very well!! both people who really do value others and life but behave in very odd judgmental ways (regulus being a fake recluse who can’t function as a person w control over his life and opinions who is fake as hell and sarcastic whilst also having no understanding of social situations and desperate to be liked by people around him. number one peer pressure victim. 15,000 mental illnesses and a penchant for self harming behavior.) (james potter who is unfortunately consistently acting like a frat bro at any given moment : assumes everyone naturally loves him and is mostly right which does evil things for him as a person . would die for his friends but is also insufferable to be around (affectionate) . harshly judgmental to anyone who doesn’t fit into his box of what counts as a good person (which by the way regulus challenges in a way i think helps james as a character!) . looping back to the frat bro thing i think james is the type of person to throw a crazy party and convince everybody to drink and do unsafe things for the fun and when u realize u don’t have a ride home and can’t walk u are so fucking SCARED to ask to stay the night bc of his general vibes but then he ends up taking care of you and getting u pain killers and making like an awesome breakfast for the whole crew? should be the worst person you know but just beneath the surface is so much good it’s impossible to hate him.) you would never think these people would get along but then they both love quidditch and train for it like it’s their life and they are both academics with serious opinions on art and literature they would both die for even though they are often opposing . they are the first people they can have a conversation with and truly match eachothers freak on any given topic. the fundamentals of both of their characters is how much they care about life and the things inside of it . it manifests in different ways but i truly think the thesis of jegulus is that they are so much more similar than one might think outwardly , and it creates a soft intimacy between them . and also just james introducing the concept of silliness fun and happiness into regulus’ life lol!!
#they mean so much to me ….#jegulus you will always be famous!!#good regulus black YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!#marauders#marauders era#regulus black#rab#jegulus#james potter#snake in the lions den#ivy answers#i know many people think viewing regulus black as a good person is boring but i disagree#i see nothing boring about a good person who thinks their goodness is a personal flaw based on their grooming and trauma#and is trying very hard to act like the “bad person they are expected to be bc they think it will earn them affection from their groomers#just to realize it will not and everything they’d done has only made them miserable and ruined their relationships and dreams and hopes#you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing !!!!#if u don’t get it u don’t get it but something made regulus guilty enough to immediately decide to kill himself#when he very easily could have lived
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I just wanna say that your Side Effects AU has me going FERAL it's sitting rent free in my head and has claimed squatter's rights!!
I'm curious if you have any ideas you have surrounding Hyde and Ratchet, and maybe even Team Prime?
Sorry if I'm a bit over the top, pls take these flowers 💐💐💐
Oh my god thank you sm!! It makes me so happy to hear that (will gladly accept those flowers) you’re most certainly not over the top I love answering questions about my au
okay, so w/ Hyde and Ratchet, Hyde is very focused on not being him that it influences his interests too, like Ratchet hates rock music so he loves it type beat (I’ve had it in my head for awhile now that if Hyde was his own separate person since the beginning and they were like normal brothers, he would have been a mortician with a rockstar side gig) and yknow, it definitely sucks at first bc he’s not doing it for himself until he realizes that all Ratchet does everyday is stand at that stupid computer all day so he has more time than most to figure out what he actually likes (still does enjoy rock music tho) he’s very subtly trying to get Ratchet away from it more and more
Hyde and Ratchet have never agreed on what music should be playing and they rarely come to a consensus
Hyde has taken (partial) control over their body far more than Team Prime realizes, mainly when Ratchet is SUPER tired Hyde can easily influence their body so they can get some rest (and it’s totally not because he cares or anything, of course not) and rarely during a mission or something, Ratchet will let Hyde have a bit more control bc he can push their body a bit more
Okay!! Team Prime before this gets too long 😭 but Optimus makes Hyde kind of nervous, he’s not as good at reading Optimus as he’d like to be. His friendship with Ratchet was a large source of fear in the beginning, now it’s just sort of scary authority figure
He wants to rough house with Bulkhead so bad it’s not even funny, he adores sparring and that little bit he got when Ratchet first tested the sythn en was so fun!! (He honestly just wants to be friends with him and Miko so bad)
Arcee he likes bothering, they sass and tease each other a lot I imagine. She took the longest to warm up to him I think
Bumblebee and him have like, me and my estranged cousin vibes (bc let’s not forget, Hyde isn’t really that old at all) when they get past the awkward phase I think they’d be quick friends (Hyde is this close to giving him some sort of piercing)
oh on that topic his snake bites I always draw him with are magnets bc Ratchet doesn’t want piercings like those (never lets him have any fun 😔)
A big point of contention for Hyde when he’s finally integrated with the Autobots is people treating him like he’s fragile bc of Ratchet, like he can understand not wanting him to get injured bc whatever injured he gets will transfer over to their only medic, he gets it. But at the same time he wants so badly to be taken more seriously, or let on missions more bc he can’t stand being stuck in this base (the cabin fever goes crazy)
anyways um, thank you for listening to me rant a bit 😭 hope it’s everything you wanted 🙏
#red responds#side effects au#hyde#ratchet#tfp#transformers#maccadam#team prime#optimus prime#arcee#bumblebee#bulkhead
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Well trying to write a story until BTSV trailer drops.
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❂Word count: 6.7K
❂Fandom: Spiderverse
❂Pairing: ghostflower(AU, no powers) [Miles-26, Gwen-25]
❂Tags: friendship, love, family, trauma
༻꧂
Eɳʝσყ Rҽαԃιɳɠ! 😊
ᙡՐ❍ᑎↅ❤Ʀ❍ᑌԷⲈ
“Well even though I don’t believe in consistency, I could surely tell that you aren’t okay with it. The variations in your behavior are quite unsettling to me. To my opinion, going there would help you acquaint with likeminded people, explore new ideas and passionately work on it and in fact come in contact with those bright students of the school. That’s what you longed for right?
Miles, man you really need to come out of this. You are becoming unresponsive and unfocused frequently. I indeed challenge you to fight for yourself!”, remarked Hobie after being completely failing to make the mood lighter around them.
“You know already, that all these days I have been trying so hard to come to terms, well to be more precise, I was escaping…from……everything! "His eyes glistening with tears.
"Those moments are burnt into my memory. They even keep popping up when I am indulged in a crucial work”, Miles sighed wearily while looking out of the second-floor balcony of his newly rented apartment. The breeze was cool and gentle thus bringing a soothing vibe and lessening the effect of gloomy atmosphere.
“Can you even imagine that I went so furious today while explaining a simple topic from mechanics to my student and thereafter I scolded him for not understanding it and having the guts to take admission in Visions”, spoke Miles, who being purely disappointed for his sudden outburst.
“That’s not what you call extreme man! I expected much more drama from you.”, joked Hobie while nudging Miles’s shoulder. The latter is not in a mood to get offended so easily as he has been occupied with other thoughts lately.
“You should definitely consult my humble friend. If we go by your words, modern problems require modern solutions, isn’t it?”, deliberately making the last attempt only to realize it may become futile soon.
“I guess, that’s the only thing left to be done”, uttered Miles with almost zero hopes after being quite for few seconds.
With a wide grin, Hobie cheered up his friend “Alright, then decided. I’ll make the arrangements and your task is to reach at correct time. Unless he would be busy with any medical conferences, there won’t be any delays.”
“I’ll do it. But not because you told me to”, patting him on the back, Miles returned to his study desk, smirking slightly, which didn’t go unnoticed by Hobie."Did you just use my…...well, anyway leave that!” replied Hobie smiling.
"See you later man!
And... and just be yourself. Goodnight! "
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“Excuse me. Can you help me to get inside of this room?”, asked a man with a smog of confusion in his face. He wore a rumpled white shirt where it was printed “Best dad”. But to be specific his appearance seemed much grayer along with those dull eyes searching for something in the void. Miles assumed that he may be around sixty years old, but felt that he has already seen him somewhere earlier in Brooklyn.
Putting down his groceries on the floor, Miles fully turned back to give proper attention to the elder person. Before that he has checked his phone for any new message from Hobie about his appointment. Of course, his friend kept his word. His doctor’s visit was scheduled at 7:30 in the evening. Keeping his mobile in the pocket, he spoke"where are the keys?”
“I actually don’t have them with me. Must be with my daughter, who is busy finding a job in New York. Just help me to break this damn door, young man.”
“Sir ….um…if you ask me for a perfect solution then it’s not the best way to get there. "Replied Miles, who simply can’t understand how to tackle this situation.
“Then it’s not the best idea to stand here until she comes back, right? And I have already left my phone inside which I generally not take it with me when I am out, so no chance of calling her up!”, a frown slowly dawning on him.
Purely bewildered by this old man’s sayings, Miles hesitantly took his phone out and asked if he at least knows his daughter’s number. And thankfully he remembered that much.
“Hello am I speaking to Miss Stacy? "Asked Miles. But he received no response from the other side.
"Hello...Hello are you there? Where's your voice gone to?"
“Yeah...I can hear you. Maybe a technical glitch. "
“Oh fine. As a matter of fact, this is our first convo. The truth is your dad has been standing here for a long time without the possession of his absolute necessities. In short with no keys. I suppose you took them while you both were out and forgot to return”, said Miles playfully.
“That’s impossible! I never bring keys with myself. First of all, ……. wait………Oh…my goodness...…I know what just occurred…please ask my dad to check his pockets carefully. This is the sixth time he is obsessed with this. "Chirped the girl over the phone.
And finally, the keys were found, the door was unlocked, the girl thanked him with utmost generosity, but Miles was completely perplexed by this whole circumstance and thought to himself, “How irresponsible someone can be? "
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Miles eyes scanned the small chamber and he noticed that one of the overhead lights was flickering thus casting a dim glow over the room. “Can’t they just resolve the problems of these electrical devices before a patient arrives?" thought to himself.
“Here Miles! Don’t worry about the poor conditions of the room. I’ll talk with authorities. My commitment to providing quality healthcare will remain steadfast! ", told the doctor happily while gesturing the seat in front of him.
On hearing the backstory, Dr. Peter B Parker who according to the British guy is the best neurologist in Brooklyn, asked “You’re becoming disinterested too in your teaching field.
So, tell me Miles, is it really beneficial to linger on such mental trauma that surely affects your daily routine? "
“Should I try to present you an award for bunking school? ", simply questioned him and it was quite easy to figure out that he has a knack of humor.
“Are you trying to jerk me around? If that’s the case then you’re definitely not helping me.” replied Miles while nervously sitting on the chair and fidgeting with his hands.
“Oh…not at all. "Said the doctor as he chuckled heartily. He then cooed his little one, Mayday, sitting on the table, who has been busy playing with his father's medical instruments.
“I think I have found a rescue remedy without any kind of strong medications. Like, now hold Mayday and bring her close to your chest, cause it’s quite rejuvenating!” chirped the doctor while adjusting his glasses.
And amazingly it worked to calm Miles down even for a short duration although he constantly denied first. He looked at her affectionately and whispered, “Do you know how cute you are? Always carry this innocence with you, cause nowadays it is hard to find. "
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After finishing his dinner, Miles tried to engross himself in making of the question papers for the next term, which had been pending since the last week. This has already become a new normal for him. Keeping everything for the last minute. Now who was the "irresponsible one"?
Although Saturday morning was not a good start, especially with that elderly, somehow the day's conclusion was well managed.
Dr. Peter was not ready to prescribe any kind of medicine for its serious side effects; however, Miles was not convinced with his only form of "rescuing," so he allowed him to intake an antidepressant and a medicine for sleeping well. But he made sure Miles visits for his monthly checkup and also asked him that if he feels low, he could come over and have a good time with Mayday; just inform him earlier about his arrival.
When almost one-third of the writing and solving equations were complete, he heard the calling bell ringing. He looked up from the papers to find the clock showing 9:45pm."Who was supposed to be here right now?".
Moving himself from his comfort position, he walked across the room and pulled the door open.
"Sorry to disturb you at this hour. By the way, I am Gwen Stacy, your neighbor.
I earnestly beg your forgiveness for troubling you this morning. Actually, it was my fault for not being cautious about it. If you weren't there, I guess I would have lost him again," said the girl honestly.
"You know what? I won't chide you for entering my home. I hope you could tell me if anything is bothering you." said the person, who himself was not ready to disclose previously and doubted every time.
"Are you sure?" asked the girl with a surprised look. "Yeah, and why I won't be?" replied Miles casually.
He felt his initial irritation wearing off. There was a certain placidity covering her face that genuinely left him with a small grin.
Gwen declined the offer of coffee but at last accepted the glass of water.
While sitting down, she couldn't resist the urge to peek at the other two rooms facing her.
Miles quickly understood and said teasingly to the blonde, "It's just me. I enjoy the privacy and the tranquility of this big room. Although a little imperfect for a solitary lifestyle. "
A slight blush crept up her cheeks, but she tried to ignore it.
"If you don't feel like sharing, it's still okay. I am never forcing you. That much I could assure. " said Miles, who took the empty place on his sofa just beside her, eventually maintaining a respectable distance.
Without looking directly at his eyes, she finally spoke, while her fingers grew tighter around the glass. "No. I mean, umm, my dad is not well. In fact, he has been suffering from Alzheimer's for two years.
All things feel like a maze on his mind, and... the loved ones easily become strangers to him. Well, the childish acts aren't uncommon to him."
"Often on gazing outside the window, if anything amuses him, he quickly follows that, thereby leaving his important items behind. And that's how he even forgets who locked his door.
Most of the time, the ground-floor residents find him wandering aimlessly around when I am out. One day it became worse. He couldn't recall my number. He just told my name to the NYPD officers. One of them recognized and then helped him get home safely," she sighed.
The smile fell away on hearing her entire monologue.
"Just a minute... is he... George Stacy?" said Miles, who was quite shocked by the revelation. Now the blurry vision of the morning incident was becoming clearer to him. Gwen simply nodded her head at their agreement.
Miles remembered his dad talking about his great bonding with Stacy. Good old times when they worked together under the same division. His dad used to praise George Stacy's immense dedication and resilience. Miles never thought his first encounter with the old man would go this way.
On looking at the pain in his eyes, Gwen said, “I know how it feels. Staying close to him yet so far. And funnily, sometimes he has mistaken me for my mother, Helen Stacy.
They have been so compatible with each other. Like... a match made in heaven!"
On clearing her throat, she continued speaking, "Well, on the other hand, the frustration is real. I struggle to establish a proper relationship between us, although it becomes difficult most of the time due to his newly adopted nature.
All I know is that running away never saves the day."
He felt those blue eyes getting a little watery. He wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth.
While shaking her head, Gwen said, "I... I think you could probably return to your physics. I am just gabbing a lot."
Thinking that his silence made her react like that, Miles immediately replied, "Oh, no, it was really nice having converse with you, Gwen! Moreover, I am a nocturnal guy.".
He could not decipher the gentle look that she gave. But he realized that misunderstanding was the main culprit, and that could eventually result in a huge mistake.
Deciding to shift to a lighter topic, Miles queried her, "So, your dad informed me about you looking for jobs around?"
"I guess there is no need to magnify the issue. I am already engaged in writing magazines, especially for the section considering wildlife and environment. And sometimes works as an editor for big teams. I have begun all these while pursuing literature from Brooklyn College.
The rising costs of the duo is a predicament that can't be denied still. Maybe he has discussed that portion of my complaining to you.
" Answered Gwen merrily.
"I feel I should get going. Dad is in the sleeping mode but can still identify my absence.
Catch you later, Miles!
And...and never assume that you'll walk alone!" said Gwen with desperate sincerity as she went back to her apartment, biding good night to him.
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"As soon as possible, I have to sort out these pictures.
Holy Crap! This one appears terrible.
Umm....this at least looks good than the earlier one. ", the photographer kept pondering over about his proper selections.
He became distracted when he noticed the buzzing in his phone. Without any reluctancy, the man picked up the call.
"You what? Am I not dreaming right Gwen!
Let's go. "said Pavitr while jumping out of the chair celebrating their mutual joy.
" So, what happened next? Tell me fast. I just can't wait to hear your lovey-dovey stuffs. "
"Stop getting so excited about something that isn't going to occur anytime! " said Gwen while rolling her eyes but inside she was indeed incredibly happy for the little progression she made today.
"Enough of waffling over Gwen. You know what you were doing! Since the college life it was you who could not contain your small, to be specific, your gigantic excitement about him.
Well, if I correctly remember it all started from Visions. Miles this... Miles that... he is the best... and the list goes on.
And if I was in the same college as yours, I could have set you two up by now." told Pavitr with a smugly smile.
"You are going too far with your imaginations Pav! " said Gwen.
"They were not my imaginations instead were your fantasies. Just admit it, Gwen. " said Pavitr.
"Okay... Ok... You win cause I admit that I feel a connection with him. But it is simply one-sided. There is nothing going to develop like what you're thinking. I don't want to intervene in his life. Just wish he remains happy with whatever he has. “, added Gwen.
"At first I thought, we would be getting into a bitter exchange of words, which could be escalating into a heated argument. Fortunately, that didn't happen. But it appeared that he is still struggling with his parents’ death.
I am not sure that I did the right thing, Pav! " said Gwen.
"You encouraged him to add life to his days. Not just act like a monotonous machine. And I can guarantee he was really glad to have you as his company.", replied Pavitr.
" Umm...I need to tell you this, last night I noticed that tall guy again. "
"You mean Hobie? "
"Yup. He always accompanies Miles in important matters. But he visited only this Friday. It has been almost two weeks after Miles moved in here. And today Miles went out somewhere in the evening while I was returning from my editorial place. Quite confusing to me. Hope everything is alright!"
"Sounding sus!
Anyway, Gwen I have a pretty idea. Now that you two are familiar , so I feel you should definitely invite Miles to your birthday on Thursday. And surely, he won't be declining the invitation of a sweet girl like you. It would be mood refreshing for everyone of us. "said Pavitr.
"Alright Pav, but don't begin messing with him then and there. Maybe he won't be supporting your jesting qualities!
And before I forget, let me remind you that Monday's meeting is very important. Dare not to neglect it. See ya, bye! ", replied Gwen at the end of the call.
"Hallelujah!”, Pav exclaimed to himself." Just can't wait for the climax of their story.
Will they? Won't they? "
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Mainly the anxiety attacks were shaping a bad feeling which hindered the proper completion of the task in hand. These couple of days, he could himself point out the irregularities in his actions. Also didn't have a power to charge up his soul. So instead of performing few physical exercises after waking up, on following Hobie's advice for getting a healthy athletic body and mind, Miles had been sitting idle for over thirty minutes straight. Who would even say that he used to been a good basketball player in his school life? His name was registered in every tournament and the sport council members always used to appreciate his skills and improved stamina.
Just......how fast the night changes.
While adding cherry on top of this, now it's that girl who got him so hooked up in those chain of thoughts since their meeting yesterday. Her soft melodic voice constantly echoing in his ears.
At one time, Hobie asked him about his interest in any girl. He simply brushed it off. During his popularity in the school, some of the so-called beauties approached him too. But he avoided them.
"She too studied in the same college as mine. How come I failed to notice her? Well even the branches were different for us, still...ughh... it's so puzzling to me!
I had known that she was junior to me. Once dad told that Stacy's daughter has taken admission in the Visions too?
Yet, I have to agree that my obsession with studies went to such a peak level, that getting involved in girl problems were beyond my scope “, Miles grieved.
"Something......quite appealing about her which is making me go weak, almost getting me drawn to her. Handling these new emotions are becoming more complicated for me!", said Miles, seemingly unable to deal with it.
The incoming call made Miles break out from his clouded thoughts. And at the same time, he heard an ambulance siren outside.
"Unknown number? ", putting aside his unresolved feelings, he picked up the phone.
"Hello! ", said Miles.
" Hi, umm, Gwen this side. ", her voice faltered.
" Are you ok? Anything serious? "Miles demanded, almost surprised by this strange way of conduct.
"No, umm, I am now going to admit dad in a nearby hospital. In a hurry I just brought my dad's mobile with me. Calling you from there only. If possible, could you accompany me, I am feeling quite unstable? ", replied Gwen sadly.
" Alright I am coming downstairs, just provide me some time to put my shirt on. "Miles assured.
On their way to the hospital Miles could see her feeble attire.
" Just like any other normal day- he woke up, had his morning shower, began reading his favorite book although from the same page which had been finished a month earlier. The bookmark didn't help him a lot cause he often couldn't remember the place where he last kept it resulting in me finally searching the entire house and providing a new one. ", she chuckled softly.
" It was just after the breakfast, that he felt dizzy and passed out. Unusually, it was first time observing him in this state. And before that he grumbled about his shortness of breath, which turned into an awful one. "said Gwen.
Utterly distraught by the news, Miles couldn't comprehend the old man's sudden illness apart from the mental condition.
" You can count on me! ", he promised her while keeping a hand on her shoulder and gently squeezing it as a gesture of reassuring.
On reaching the destination, George Stacy was then admitted to the ICU, and the patient party stayed in the waiting room.
Later, the doctor informed that it occurred due to the falling down of blood pressure. Nothing major to be worried about. All the vitals were properly checked and the drip was on.
When she was allowed to see her dad after his senses kicked in, the sight of him lying in hospital bed purely devasted her. Letting the duo chat, in the meantime, Miles went to complete a noble deed without telling her.
Gwen rushed to her father's side, kneeling beside him, her hand finding his. "Dad, I don't like to see you in this way.
Recover quickly and we would then go out for a daddy-daughter date together. “She blinked back her tears while her voice trembled.
" Gwennie, who told you that I am not ok? Look, kiddo I am just fit and fine! "said George with all the strength he could muster.
They both shared a laughter and a fist bump. "Dad, won't you like to talk with another visitor? asked Gwen, signaling Miles to enter the room.
"Why did you have to keep your other half secret from me?”remarked George Stacy.
"Dad! He is not my boy...", Gwen impatiently transferring the attention to Miles, her face turning red like a fresh tomato, silently pleading him not to bother with the nickname.
"Umm....your daughter is telling the truth. We are just friends! " answered Miles although not denying the potential of "too close friends".
" Get well soon, Captain! This doesn't suits you! We can have the better introduction when we all get back home. "said Miles, smiling, but memories of his carefree days spent with Rio and Jefferson kept flashing back in front of his eyes. It felt fragile but filled with nostalgia. He somehow managed to hide his tears so that no one questioned him in his weak state.
" And, young man, take care of my little girl. "said George teasing him.
" Not to mention it, Sir. "replied Miles with a thumbs up.
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Their friendship aged like a fine wine. The roots of it developed since the time spent in coffee breaks amidst the college classes, trying out of the box, sometimes blending music with physics. Like experimenting all the time. The bond grew stronger and yes, there existed a pure resonance between the two.
"Laziness has been gripping your mind, man! Keep an eye on yourself Miles! And remake a schedule which you would genuinely follow from now on.
Whereas the band performance has been a blast last day in Chelsea. A lot of crowds gathered and appreciated us! " said Hobie over the phone.
"Great dude! One day you would definitely reach great heights! " said Miles happily.
"And about the balanced routine... Ok, don't get too anxious, I am gonna start working on it soon. Just let me settle the recent matter. " added Miles.
"Which one? " asked Hobie, raising his eyebrow.
"I have never felt this before... There is a girl, I mean my neighbor, she is kinda becoming my bad habit. "
"Does she feels the same way? More than friend? " Hobie asked, smirking.
"Maybe... maybe not! She is different than most of the girls. That much I know. Kind of having a demurring personality! "said Miles.
" Just carry on with your game man! She won't be miles away from accepting your proposal. "said Hobie .But there existed an unfathomable emotion in his voice which lacked his confidence. Still Hobie appreciated the fact that Miles found his solace in her.
As Gwen approached Miles, he hurriedly said “I’m hanging up now. Catch you later! ", then awkwardly turned around to face her.
"Can you stop being so good Miles? Why did you pay the medical expenses and the additional bills? ", asked the blonde, still in disbelief.
"That's what friends do right! " replied Miles, his eyes still glued to hers.
On looking down at her fingers, with the corner of her lips curling into a smile, she said "Alright! But next time it will me.Can't let you get away with it!
So, deal? "
"Can't promise you on that! Still sealing it, as per your saying. "said Miles, grinning.
"Gwen, if I'm correct, then you haven't taken a bite since the morning. So, let's go to the canteen and finish our lunch. And I am not ready to hear any nos on this topic! "
While indirectly looking at him, she said, "Why can't more people be like you? ",her voice just a little above whisper.
"Like how? " asked Miles without pressuring her.
"Oh. Nothing! " said Gwen, casually dismissing it.
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The clouds kept piling up as he seldomly closed the windows of his apartment. Anytime the rain was going to pour down heavily.
The afternoon's meal was concluded, and after their evening visit, Miles insisted Gwen to stay the night over at his place, instead of living alone in her home.
When the freshening up was done, she cleaned the disordered rooms, tied her hair into a ponytail and then brought the laptop along with her to finish the remaining portion of her deadline.
Miles was occupied in making the dinner while Gwen got involved with her writing work.
The silence between the two lingered on. Neither of them discussed anything other than the medical issues.
The air was charged with unspoken possibilities. In fact the consequently occurring embarrassing moments led Gwen to berate herself.
She summoned the courage to call him this morning only, which she could have done previously on different occasion. Specially for expressing her feelings. The mugged-up phone number since the college days could have been utilized efficiently to convey her simple message. Often, she was found to write an entire block of text, just to initiate the chat. At last, everything was saved in her draft notes or mainly deleted before clicking the send option.
On getting bored, she moved out of the sofa ,placing the laptop on the centre wooden table and went ahead to the kitchen, keenly watching Miles prepare the dish. His chopping of the vegetables gave an aesthetic view to the cooking.
"Hey, Gwen! Do you mind giving the cheese grater? Yeah, up there on the left cupboard. " asked Miles gesturing with his hands.
"Sure! Just a minute.....yes, take it. "extending the item to him.
In doing so, their fingers touched slightly resulting in a shiver down the spines. Their cheeks reddened, eyes still fixed at each other, having a softness in them and the moment presently became electrifying.
As the time passed, which felt like an eternity, the spell finally broke as the sounds of the frying pan floated to their ears.
However, the fleeting glances continued. Their lips moving into the small smile and both of them tried to hide it.
Upon the delivery of a notification on her phone, she darted away her gaze from Miles and focused on the messages from Pavitr.
"How's your dad, Gwen? I was busy here with one of the photography workshops, so couldn't pay you a visit. "
"The bp fluctuations were the main cause. And the doctor told that, dad would be shifted to general ward late at night. Possibly, discharged tomorrow in the evening. Thanks for your concern, Pav, and no need to panic, Miles has been staying beside me the whole time." informed Gwen.
"That's good! As expected from him.
So, pause your overthinking and just don't ruin the pleasant mood that you two have been enjoying now.
For any requirement, feel free to contact me, Gwen. "typed Pavitr excitedly.
"The dinner is ready! "Miles chimed in.
" You told not to cook too much dishes, so just made these Tortilla Rolls. I am sure you will like it!. "said Miles while sitting down.
"Yum..yum,it is so...tasty! Didn't know you are such a good chef? "said Gwen joyfully, holding those wraps.
But Miles looked surprisingly unhinged.
" Miles? Is anything wrong? Earth to Miles! Why haven't you started eating? "she fired questions to him when there was no response.
" Huh? Oh, Gwen! Sorry just has been diving deep into my thoughts.
Actually, I learnt everything from mom. All credits definitely go to her.
It was me standing near her, providing a helping hand and even getting little rebukes from her for adding the wrong spices. She used to tell,"Mijo, I suppose that's not the way of doing? It requires patience that you need to develop through constant hands-on practices. Put your soul into whatever you are involved in. Never support your fickle mind, dear. And then the result gained would be fruitful!"
As he became overwhelmed with emotions, tears fell down his cheeks.
Everyone assumed, Miles was a sturdy person. However, the truth was that, he was just like a lone bird, who had come out of the cage but a piece of chain had been still attached to its legs. It rattled...when it moved...
While caressing his face, Gwen cooed with positivity, " Everything's gonna be ok! Have your faith on yourself, Miles.
You're the man who aspires people to dream big, analyses things critically, a person like you is born to accomplish wonderful things. Just don't let any upsetting series of events weigh down on you. Don't get lost! "
Wrapping his arm around her waist, he cried his heart out.
While clinging to her, he said, " Same case for you, Gwen. Both of us need to be strong...We can't leave the battlefield like a loser, instead shine as a true warrior! ".
The clock struck 02:30am.
Miles stood up and stretched his arms, which had been paining since the last few minutes, due to constant modules writing.
" What exactly has been the name of her magazine? Umm... right! Sunflower.
That's such a cool name. Guess I would have to register for a monthly subscription of it! "exclaimed Miles enthusiastically.
Turning his head, Miles noticed Gwen sleeping peacefully. Locks of hair scattered all over her face. The girl might be wandering around in the lands of her dreams. To him, she looked ethereal.
Captivated by her serene presence, he moved towards her and planted a soft kiss on her forehead, whispering “Mi Lucero" to her.
Adjusting the bedsheets, switching the lights off, Miles then went to the sofa to spend the rest of the night.
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On waking up, Gwen discovered a note stuck on her worn-out laptop. That means Miles had already left for school.
"Good morning! I guess, oats would work as a good breakfast for you? All the items have been kept on the dining table. Help yourself.
And I would be reaching home late today as I have to attend a teachers’ conference. By chance if I get there early then no issue at all! ", joined by a smiley emoji at the bottom.
Finding a pen from the stand, she flipped the note over, and wrote" Thanks for everything! I'll ask my friend to go along with me. - Gwen".
After sticking it on a book, she found some medicines at the the corner of the desk. "Miles takes these pills.... that means... he couldn't .. work through his sorrow!
Yet, he has not refrain himself from guiding me in his melancholy!"said Gwen with tearful eyes, utterly dismayed.
Yes, Miles was absolutely a blessing to her. There existed no doubt. She felt lucky to have this man in her life. So, she promised to stay as his anchor forever.
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This time Gwen yearned for something simpler. And not a grand celebration of her twenty fifth birthday. Just inviting close friends were on her bucket list.
Dad had been discharged on Monday and she had to handle everything appropriately. On consulting Dr Peter, he slightly raised dad's dosage and asked to visit the chamber next week for a check-up.
That evening, while Miles was entering his apartment, he was introduced to Pavitr, who was just leaving the place after bringing the patient back home. As a result, Pav eagerly invited him to Gwen's birthday.
On observing Miles frowning which became more pronounced, while Pav grabbed Gwen and gave her a bear hug, he immediately cleared the confusion and told with a mocking tone" Someone seems jelly with just a platonic embrace? "
"What? I mean.... no. Not at all" said Miles, nervously looking other ways.
"Man, can you even imagine how much Gwen gushes about you? How much she lov-"before anymore words were spilled out, Gwen quickly acted by putting her hands to cover Pav's mouth.
"Yeah, I was telling him how good human you are. Also, one of the best physics lecturers in Visions. " Said Gwen, grinning ear to ear.
"Oh thanks! Very much appreciate it! " replied Miles, a blush forming on his face.
"Any problem, just give me a ring Gwen. Don't hesitate ever. Alright I am truly tired. See you guys later! " as he left them standing together on the corridor.
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Miles had his silky matte green shirt and brown jeans on, which was the last present gifted by his mom. Much ahead of the fatal car crash they were met while travelling to new Jersey for the college admission. Due to the head on collision, his parents were declared spot dead and only he was sent to the hospital for his serious injuries.
On receiving the unpleasant news, Hobie reached there and stayed beside Miles each and every day until he recovered from his wounds.
Looking at the mirror he traced his fingers along the marks. Those scars had been a reminder to that horrendous memory..
"What are you up to, man? It's a party where I at least don't wish to reach after cutting of the cake. " said Hobie, who was covered with one of his gothic punk rock metal black outfits.
"Wait a minute! Let me fix my hair.... yeah....now ready to go! " said Miles excitedly.
As Gwen welcomed them in, Miles was genuinely awestruck by her appearance. She was dressed in a stunning A-line blue gown which shimmered in the light and was able to perfectly capture the essence of her beauty. Just with a simple makeup, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Probably this was a gift from her dad.
On gaining his composure, he wished her many many returns of the day, and was about to introduce Hobie to her, when he noticed both of them staring at each other and became completely dumbfounded.
"Are you guys familiar? "asked Miles desperately.
" Nah... First time. Extremely glad to meet you, Gwen. Happy birthday dear! " greeted Hobie while shaking her hands.
"Yeah, my pleasure to meet you! " said Gwen anxiously. Momentarily brushing off the subject, she allowed them to follow her near the dinette set.
Thereafter, all gathered around the birthday girl, singing songs, providing her the presents and Pav continued clicking away pictures of her various poses.
The space was intoxicated with the mingling scents of the served cake pieces, Irish dishes, shared laughter and joyful cries. Thus, weaving a tapestry of some heart-warming moments.
"You're growing on me, young man! " spoke George Stacy, patting on Miles back softly.
"You know what?
I am giving you the permission to take my daughter's hands in yours and declare your profound love for her. Get your girl! "
"Sir... I feel you're mistaking! " replied Miles with a flushed face.
"Don't teach me about the hardships of a true relationship! I know how you two look at each other. So, I am not in mood to listen to your nonsense yapping. Just go and stop wasting time. " demanded Stacy.
Letting Pavitr take care of the elderly, he moved out of chair and headed to the kitchen where both Gwen and Hobie chatted and cleaned the culinary sets.
Thinking of lending a helping hand, he entered the counter. Naturally he overheard their conversation.
"Does he know? " asked Gwen sheepishly.
"That you used to bring those homemade foods to the hospital cause Miles complained about the taste and quality of theirs? "
Hobie looked over at her and resumed his narrative,"He complimented every single dishes prepared by you although the actual cook was unknown to him. Even today he mentioned that this type of cooking style seemed kinda friendly to him!
You visited him daily but never got the confidence to initiate closeness with him. Every time you stood far. Your so-called gesture of "not interference", right?
And when you saw him not awake, you went near him without disturbing his sleep, stroking his hair gently, whispering sweet nothings. "
"Also, what about your extra financial aid in his college studies and hospital bills, when I was unable to provide the full support? Even after organizing gigs, collecting cashes which didn't meet the costs.
All these years, I have kept it confidential. However, one day, he will know somehow. How would you prevent that from happening, Gwendy? "
"You have a golden opportunity now. Just tell him without holding back yourself!
And to be frank, you both are tremendously down bad. "
On hearing his past, Miles straight away went back to his apartment, saying that an important school work was remained untouched, which needed immediate attention for the next day. But it was in fact the opposite. It was an excuse to hide his pain. A way in laboring himself to get accustomed to those truths.
In the meantime, Gwen came out of the kitchen in order to open her presents given by her friends. Pavitr gifted her a beautiful diary, Hobie brought a premium quality chocolate truffles, and lastly a wonderful painting of her by Miles.
As her curiosity was insatiable, she wished to talk to her man, to know the story behind that incredible masterpiece. When she couldn’t figure him amidst others, Pavitr instantly nodded her towards the door.
On making her way to the balcony, where stood Miles motionless, she affectionately placed her hand on his shoulder. His eyes found hers. However, she failed to interpret his mental picture.
It was obvious that his heart ached watching her play the hide and seek for so long. So he tried to approach a different way to make her spill out those unsaid words to him. And also , to make her know how stongly he felt about her.
Hence, instead of answering her concern, slowly Miles motioned himself in the direction of her and started speaking in a tone which was barely above a whisper but carried so much tenderness.
" Your heart is now racing, isn’t?” Miles continued stepping closer…. more and more… The air was thick with tension between them.
" The words are abandoning you,your lips are softening….. and breath deepening, right?”
“Gwen, can you bear, if I come this close to you?”asking her teasingly, thus finally placing his hand against the wall, creating a barrier, which was both playful and flirtatious. He spoke again, his breath warm against her skin, "I have to tell you something! "
“What could possibly he want to say? Did he….anyway eavesdropped on our discussion?”, nervously thinking to herself, as she anticipated, her mind fluttering and gradually her breath becoming heavy too.
Miles leaned down slightly, his forehead brushing against hers, and spoke,“Actually I am not at all okay. Infact I am suffering from a rare disease whose cure lies with you only!”.His intense gaze at her was undeniable.
“I have become that person who has been left with the memories of his great times spent with family but he can’t move on and who constantly yearn to feel the pleasure again.
As if I don’t feel alive, kind of missing myself too. Amidst this chaos, you make me feel like I am breathing, Gwen!”
Without diverting the matter, knowing there was no escaping in love, she murmurred timidly,pushing a loose strand of her hair, " Extremely sorry for keeping everything secrets. I.. I couldn’t help to bring myself in front of you. Fearing you might never accept my proposal. And mostly….got scared in unknowingly hurting you in your grief. So ,I admired you from afar only. "
“I get it where you are coming from. Good that at last you are trying to efface this emotional distance between us.” assured Miles with a weak smile.
“Enough of beating around the bush, so I am directly saying, that I wish to know you more. Won’t you help me with that Gwen?” asked Miles sincerely. The innocence in his eyes made her feel cherished and understood. Her heart skipped a beat and she agreed this was it.
As the world around them faded way, Gwen pressed her lips against him in a chaste warm kiss, the two souls reconnected with each other, discovering the passion and igniting fires in them.
“Guess, you were the one who cheered the most during those basketball tournaments?” asked Miles, smirking while pulling away from the kiss. His heart swelled with immense joy.
“My voice was not that loud. Yet, I prayed for your wins. And if I am being honest, you were an amazing player!” answered Gwen contentedly, gently slapping his shoulder.
“So, never try to conceal your feelings from me, alright? said Miles smiling at her.
“Promise! "said Gwen,her eyes shining while she gripped the back of Miles's shirt tightly and engulfed him in a hug, which felt genuinely intimate.
On settling her head on his chest, Gwen softly whispered,"All I want is this moment to never end!”
-extracurious
(Not to be reposted||like, comments, reblogs appreciated❤)
#writers in tumblr#first fanfic#small writer#spiderman#Miles Morales#gwiles#across the spiderverse#miles morales#into the spider verse#gwen stacy#ghostflower#spiderman atsv#gwen x miles#fluff#spider gwen#hobie spiderverse#spiderverse#atsv pavitr#pavitr prabhakar#peter b parker#marvel#sony#hobie brown#writeblr#writerscommunity#writer#writer's blog#atsv hobie#atsv#george stacy
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ChilledChaos Appreciation Post Essay :)
There’s a whole lot of negative things I can say about streamers and content creators in general, especially about YouTubers I myself used to watch and enjoy (I have since grown as a person and recognise that they are, whilst not inherently terrible people, unfunny and uncool). However, I prefer to spread positivity wherever I can, so here’s my ChilledChaos appreciation essay.
From watching Chilled’s YouTube content from back in the day to watching his streams for over three years now, he’s one of the best around in my sincere opinion. Whilst things have changed since the early YT days, it’s clear that Chilled remains timeless and just a genuinely good guy. He’s mature and fair, compassionate and understanding, funny and charismatic (despite the ‘sociallyawkward’ tag on his stream lol) and above all else, he has an incredible innate social awareness.
Chilled, outside of being cunning, deceptive and Evil with a capital E for the laughs (CTC: Can’t Trust Chilled!), is at heart a genuinely very empathetic person. For good reason Chilled hosts many of the lobbies in PR1. He makes sure that his players are having fun, constantly checks in on them to make sure his settings are fair and fun for everyone, and will always change a rule if most people agree that it isn’t fun for them. He takes criticism very well and recognises that his players aren’t being critical of him as a person at all when they ask him to change one of his rules. They respect his decisions as much as he respects their opinions, which is incredibly important when playing long-term with a group of people, especially since they all have valued friendship.
He can recognise when things are too loud or chaotic (the occasional stream mute is very refreshing for neurodivergent ears) or when people just aren’t having fun. He recognises when a game is more fun when it’s played frequently and when it’s more of a twice a year kind of game, for both the players’ sake and the audience. He also does his best to make sure everyone gets to play the game as much as possible and protects those who have died early a lot in a session or tries to make a game go quickly if there’s a lot of people dead and waiting.
(I remember when the green shield mechanic was first introduced for Town of Us, Chilled didn’t want to use it because then people wouldn’t learn. He began to use it I think when he realised that the game itself is very unpredictable, and people can’t always pay attention to everything, especially when they’re trying to stream at the same time.)
Chilled also remains true to his morals. He doesn’t do “edgy” jokes (I think everyone knows what I mean by “edgy”), and has consistently put his foot down when topics that definitely should be taken very seriously were joked about. He does this whilst also recognising that there wasn’t harmful intent behind the jokes but that they still shouldn’t be made. The good thing about it is once he tells them to stop joking about something, it is never joked about again (this doesn’t happen often at all but when it does I know I can count on Chilled to be a voice of reason). He doesn’t bring the vibe down when doing so either, simply tells them to stop, they stop and apologise, and everyone moves on. I know this has got to be hard to do on a livestream, especially in front of an audience of thousands and for your job. It’s got to be a lot of pressure. He’s professional about it and takes into account that people make mistakes sometimes and that doesn’t make them bad people. He’s also not afraid to stand up to his friends if they are the ones to blame, but also recognises if he’s in the wrong.
(One particular occasion comes to mind a lot from about a year ago: I won’t go into detail but Chilled was absolutely right, the joke was not funny despite no ill intentions towards anyone, and no joke on that topic has been made since on any PR1 stream I’ve seen. People aren’t perfect, but they can recognise they made a mistake and they did because Chilled took a stance and helped them recognise that it was a bad joke, and was able to criticise his friends without damaging any relationships or respect for each other.)
Chilled also very clearly values his online friendships. He definitely knows how to pick his friends by the people he consistently surrounds himself with and has even maintained some of those friendships for over a decade (Junk, Ze, Tom, Tay, etc.). He’s not afraid to introduce new people into his circle and has great chemistry with just about anyone he talks to. He’s great for matching a chaotic energy or a relaxed one, and is able to keep up a cheerful mood or a good vibe when things are looking rough. He doesn’t take bumps in the road to heart and knows when a bit or joke or even a game has run its course. He has moments outside of his persona when he shows genuine concern and compassion for his friends and even if he talks shit he’ll always admit that he is fond of someone, even if it’s not to their face.
(Here I think of Vikram, and how it’s clear that they are good friends even if Chilled gives him a lot of shit - Vikram does ask for it too though, lol. If Vik is missing from a TOS lobby it’s just not the same without him, a sentiment Chilled has often expressed. He always very sincerely mentions that he hopes his friend is okay if he is suddenly MIA - and this also applies to all other PR1 members)
Chilled is also just insanely funny. It’s obvious to just about anyone that he deserves the large audience he has, as he is a skilled entertainer and knows how to make someone laugh. I mean, what’s funnier than growing a moustache out of pure spite? He worries about balancing so much because he wants everyone to have a fair chance at winning because he knows that losing over, and over, and over again just isn’t fun. He’s very genuinely smart and can admit when he’s wrong, he’s often the first to deduce that someone else is lying (takes one to know one!) and very logically driven (spontaneity is his Achilles heel, best examples being Ze, Vik, Chibi and Side, all of which are either comedically impulsive or refuse to adhere to logic). The fact that he is very in-touch with others emotionally and intellectually (whether he realises it or not) makes him very good at a myriad of things - mystery-solving, game-balancing, entertaining, and literally any of the other things I’ve already said about him and in my excited live-blogging.
(Something I notice just as a general observation about PR1 vs. some content creators I used to watch is that there’s a lack of rage in PR1. Personally I think this is a huge improvement and it’s way more entertaining to watch people having genuine fun and for grown adults to not take losses as failures and not get pissy and rage quit when things aren’t going their way. And the lack of rage-induced slurs thrown around is… well, refreshing, to say the least. - more on this in another post, probably)
Anyway, in conclusion, Chilled is awesome and I have copious amounts of respect for him (even if he is addicted to Yu-Gi-Oh! and doesn’t have gutters lmao)
#oh so I can write a parasocial gush essay about my streamer but can’t write a single sentence of school work? figures.#I could go on for hours. this is draft 2 and I think it’s comprehensible now. hopefully#anyway. there is a reason Chilled has a big audience and it’s this#chilledchaos#private recording 1
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Yes, the kiss didn’t accomplish anything and was completely unnecessary. Unless their idea is to launch the Elrondriel ship, now (even though these actors don’t have any chemistry). You know, because Haladriel is R.I.P. and Saurondriel is too risky. I’m trying not to be too negative, because we still have the finale, but it’s not looking good to me.
That crack theory isn’t happening but at least it would make sense, gave meaning to that nonsense and it wouldnt stain Galadriel and Elrond’s friendship. Because Galadriel did looked WTF after the kiss. Where will they go from there? Just pretend it didn’t happen? Because Elrond does marry Galadriel’s daughter, so this scene gave him a bad look (“couldn’t have the mother, I’ll go for the daughter instead”). Yeah, I don’t know what the producers were thinking.
I am going to say...this is the last ask I'm going to answer about the kiss. Mostly because I've said everything I have to say on the topic at this point, but also because I personally am ready to move on to focusing on the positives of the show and the things that make me feel happy about it, instead of the things that piss me off.
Firstly, I know similar asks have been answered by other people in the past few days and other people have given better answers than me, but I don't think Haladriel/Saurondriel is dead. The showrunners have been very explicit about this relationship being the heart of the show, and whatever else they may have said, I do believe that will be true. As others have said, it may never again be as explicit and in-your-face as it was Season 1, but I think their core dynamic will remain the beating heart of the show. I think the finale this Thursday will be a big indicator for where they intend to go with those two, as it will probably set up the dynamic for S3, just as the S1 finale did for this season. I doubt at this point that it will be everything I hope for, but I'm willing to give it a chance and see what they do.
I do hope Elrond and Galadriel at least address the kiss briefly again. I fear and suspect they won't, but it would do a lot towards making me feel at least a little tiny bit better about it if they did. As I've said, I personally don't have a problem with the MIL/SIL aspect of it - I've seen WAY weirder ships - even if it's not what floats my boat. I know a lot of people aren't getting any romantic vibes from it - despite the romantic music, lighting, and framing - but it would help me to feel better about the romantic tension that I did feel was there, if it was at least addressed briefly. It would help me feel better about Elrond and Galadriel's friendship going forward.
It'll always be a WTF moment for me and I'm never going to enjoy it, but it's part of the show now, for good or for ill. And I guess at the end of the day, I prefer to focus on everything I've loved about Season 2 and will always treasure about it.
#ask answer#ask a dark lord#rop#rings of power#rop s2#rings of power s2#rop spoilers#rings of power spoilers#galadriel#elrond#sauron#rop galadriel#rop elrond#rop sauron#kissgate#elrond x galadriel#saurondriel#haladriel
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Clearing The Air About Sophie
I mean, since she posted something, and since I still get regular asks about her, and since we’ve had a whole grudge and personal feud thing going on for (months? years? time is an illusion to those of us with trauma based amnesia), I do kind of want to respond. Going to put it under a cut for all those uninterested in Sophiecourse.
Side note: This isn’t for Sophie. Like she says on her post, this isn’t an olive branch. It’s just… Getting thoughts and feelings out.
TL;DR: I actually agree with what she said about my personality flaws, I know them and work on them in therapy! I don’t hate Sophie, and I don’t really hate anyone else for that matter. I believe everyone needs chances to grow and change – transphobic, fakeclaiming assholes too. I’m tired of people punching at the mods of SAS who try their best and are pro-endo. I’m tired of people lumping me in with anti-endos when I really do not hang out that much with them. I’m tired of hearing the term “hate-group” thrown around because it has a very different definition than what’s being used and also I am white and privileged I should not be the voice on this! I’m tired of people yelling about SN when I’m not even in that server any longer. And, most of all, I’m tired of people dragging this drama on continuously in the public eye. Let it fucking rest, and please let this be the final essay I have to write about the topic.
Firstly, I want to address: A lot of what Sophie says is absolutely correct. I am loyal to a fault. I have allowed myself to get into a lot of situations that are incredibly fucking harmful, all in the name of being loyal to either a cause or a friendship.
This has led to me being set so far back in my recover lately that I’ve flinched at my partner touching me, split a new part in August of this year, and started obsessively stalking blogs again in the desperate need to know everything, just to appease anyone who might be curious.
I also agree that I mean… I really don’t hate Sophie. I hate a lot of her actions, and a lot of her takes, but I don’t hate her. I simply don’t hate people. It isn’t in my nature. I have a very intense dislike for her, but as she said – coke and mentos. I would likely go “oil and water,” but I think coke and mentos fits more, given my propensity for exploding. Trauma does shake one up.
Secondly: I want to address some of the negatives she’s said that I disagree with, or I feel her personal grudges might be impacting too much.
That’s how I see SAS, who will adopt labels like “syscourse enraged” or “pro syscourse conversation” on Tumblr, while their partner heads over to r/systemscringe to tell the anti-endos that SAS is “100% anti-endo” so they can get that sweet r/systemscringe demographic. SAS’s stance is whatever they think will convince the most people to listen to them.
I would greatly appreciate if people were to stop lumping SAS under that anti-endo label as well, as me and the person they’re actually referring to (Dude) agree on many things (and yes, disagree as well, as is only healthy in a fucking friendship). People so frequently ignore the things SAS has posted about endogenic systems that acknowledges their existence, while simultaneously condemning the entire mod team for the actions of… [checks] a singlet on reddit?
I would not be friends with the mods of SAS if their beliefs fundamentally opposed mine. If any of them were regularly fakeclaimers, harassers, or doxxers, I would be blasting them on each of my blogs that I could, with screenshotted proof (as I tend to do). The fact is, none of them are anti-endo. The one I would say fits closest to that label is Mod Signal, who’s opinions on endos seems to simply be, “god, I don’t want to fucking talk about that, can I PLEASE talk about the etymology of the word dissociative and the intersection of POC and medical spaces?” (Signal, you can correct me if I’m wrong on that, I just feel that’s the vibes).
The fact of the matter is, SAS – every mod there – is a traumatized individual who has made countless mistakes. I disagree with a lot of what Mod Dude has done and said, but not in such a way that it makes me ignore the words being said. He genuinely wants people to live their best lives and recover, while also groaning and laughing at the frankly ridiculous ableism in the world. And he calls that out, and points it out, and tries to clarify.
I don’t find that bad. There’s a reason why we’re friends.
Say, for instance, your friend is under fire for fakeclaiming and transphobia, and your response is to come up with a list of things the victim said to deserve it.
Sigh.
I am no longer a moderator at the Survivor’s Network. At the time of the post Sophie is referring to here, where the user fakeclaimed her with vicious transphobia, I wasn’t online, nor active in the server – I was busy that day, and couldn’t be attentive. I’ve raked myself over the coals endlessly about not being present 24/7 to discuss every last take coming from individuals in that server due to this obsession tumblr has had that any take from SN was clearly supported by everyone there.
It wasn’t.
I nearly left that day, and only stuck around because (as Sophie herself said) I am intensely loyal. And the individual took a step back, and when they came back, some new fire needed putting out. They had lost all memory of the post in question – and I had as well. It’s unfortunate.
When the post resurfaced, the user in question was guilt stricken and absolutely mortified that they had done that. This does not excuse the behavior. They could identify which part had gotten triggered enough to say that, and what led to them being triggered from her blog. This does not excuse the behavior. They wrote an apology to the server, as their actions now (somehow, someway) reflected on every individual in the server, and (more importantly, and accurately) apologized for how their actions might be making the server members feel unsafe. This does not excuse the behavior.
The “making excuses” she lists is the list of things I wrote out while in an incredibly triggered state where I tried to provide context for what could make an individual state such heinous, disgusting things about another person. Because I do not hate others. Not even transphobic, fakeclaiming assholes. They are all simply people, and I understood why this happened. I did not defend the action, but I defended the person. He didn’t deserve hatred; he deserved the chance to redeem himself.
Perhaps I’m too kind. But I believe everyone deserves chances to change. And given that he immediately privated the post (but not deleted, so that if people had questions, he still had the post to show them so he could prove his transgressions), stepped back massively from syscourse, and started discussing more about the self care he was doing to become a less hateful person, I believed he was making that change.
When the place this individual made alongside my friends came under fire for things that were complete fabrications and lies, I included that list in the document detailing each and every allegation. For transparency. Just like the document stated. I also wrote that piece while, once again, triggered and dissociated out of my mind. I was fully in my headspace, as a new part who did not even know her name, and having just abandoned everyone I knew and loved from Survivor’s Network.
I am no longer friends with that individual. Please do not lump me in with that space any longer, as they deserve better than syscourse drama in a space that is dedicated to growth and healing.
I will say this again, for those who did not hear: I do not, and never will, condone transphobia or fakeclaiming of others, regardless of your beliefs about them. Everyone deserves a baseline of respect. No matter their beliefs about anyone else, they deserve basic respect.
I have been harassed endlessly for that belief. It genuinely hurts the amount of times I’ve been accused now of defending transphobia, bullying, harassment, and fakeclaiming (not just from Sophie, but from various hate anons I’ve blocked or the countless plural servers I am no longer allowed to venture into due to being banned for “my actions” when they weren’t mine to begin with). I am not that person, and I’m so tired of being painted that way due to my desire to give people second chances.
Ugh. Anyways.
(Again though, this is only my opinion as an outside observer. And there could very likely be private conversations about their friends’ conduct I don’t see because it would be handled in DMs.)
This is fully accurate, and I wanted to highlight this for everyone in syscourse.
The majority of my syscourse takes place on discord. I’m always hovering between around 7 and 12 system servers that I’m present in at any given time. I’ve always used online spaces as a dissociative crutch to try and help myself focus on something while also dissociating, without losing myself entirely. According to my phone, while I get the most notifications from Tumblr (825 daily, on average), I spend around an hour a day on Discord at least. (Fun Fact: Since leaving SN, I now spend an average of 4 hours on my phone, which is down from 5-7 hours daily! Progress!) Discord is also the first thing I open each day, and I read through all of the servers I usually check for.
I conduct a lot of conversation in private. I don’t feel that the majority of this sort of… business… should be on a public forum like Tumblr. Honestly, I’ve frequently lamented about the fact that Sophie isn’t on Discord much (I’ve been in servers where she was banned due to inactivity) because I feel like I have such better communication there. There’s more time to have a back and forth, rather than these essay long posts that drain my energy and take me days to write (usually).
I do call people out in DMs. I have ticketed a lot of spaces I’m in to discuss with mods the actions of other users, to clarify for myself if I am being triggered, if I’m squicked out, or if I am in the right and they are acting inappropriately. I have blocked many individuals on Discord.
What you see on Tumblr is one of two things: carefully filtered, but edited for passion and attempting to sound as clear as possible, or not filtered in the slightest while highly charged. This post is one of the latter ones, believe it or not. The length of the post doesn’t change the feeling behind it!
The fact is, I can only really call out pro-endos… here. Because I am banned from so many pro-endo spaces… for… calling out. Pro-endos. And discussing their posts in servers that are condemned (wrongfully) of being collections of people in hate groups. Therefore supporting hate groups.
See the issue? It’s a never ending cycle.
I’m trying to join more endogenic oriented spaces currently, but… we’ll see. I find them incredibly stressful for my system, due to past experiences and the increasing need of people to find the “label” that fits others, but. We’ll see.
I’ll still use scare quotes when mentioning their syscourse alignment because I find them to often be out of touch with the endogenic community and our interests.
See above. It’s incredibly difficult to view and understand the endogenic community when each one immediately declares you a fakeclaiming bigot who supports hate groups…
I think because of their friendship with anti-endos, they still want to try to appease both sides as much as possible.
I want to write more about this at the end of the post, but believe it or not… I’m really not friends with many anti-endos. I think I can name 2 off the top of my head who actually do not believe in endogenic systems. And of those two, I only share a server with one.
I don’t believe there’s a world where endogenic systems and anti-endos can both find total acceptance
Hmm.
You know?
I don’t really disagree with this point as much as some may believe.
I actually do want the entire world, one day (or at least, the relevant people in the world) to agree that endogenic systems exist. I fully want anti-endo, as a label, to go away, and I want people to open their eyes and fucking understand what endogenic systems are actually about.
I do not believe there will be a world where anti-endos will continue to be a norm, and I think those who insist on crying about how there’s “people faking having a disorder” need to actually… you know… look. At the evidence we have so far (which is not much, I will admit, but is still there) and at the experiences people are having (which is far more telling and vast). I do not believe that there will be a world where anti-endos and endos can fully co-exist with everyone feeling safe and happy together.
I also do not think that is bad.
There is no such thing as a completely safe, tolerant space. Regardless of someone’s wishes or beliefs, we cannot all be together. We cannot all believe the same things. My heavy Christian upbringing has led to even my own system being at odds with its spiritual beliefs; I am a demonic protector who regularly talks to an angelic part, who both keep an eye on our demonic persecutor, and all three of us have different religious beliefs.
We cannot believe the same things. We will disagree.
That does not mean we cannot work together, cooperate, and exist in the same spaces. I think we need to learn how to, actually, in order for the more ideal “no more anti-endos” future to come to be. If anti-endos are not accepted as people, are not welcomed in by kind endogenic or pro-endos (like I was), then how would they ever learn?
Not that people need to risk their safety like that. I would never want that. But for those individuals who can handle that burden… I feel it is needed.
But this is all beside the point. That’s a good syscourse post for another day.
Circ doesn’t like me calling anti-endos a hate group because, in my (again, outside) opinion, they’re friends with anti-endos and don’t see how the people they’re friends with could possibly be part of a hate group.
I do not like people referring to anti-endos as a hate group due to them not fitting the definition of a hate group. I don’t like it because my POC friends (both neutral, pro-endo, and unaligned) have felt spoken over by others who insist that the actions of anti-endos are somehow comparable to the actions of groups like Nazis and the KKK.
Just a quick google search:
Anti-endos are not a cohesive organization or group, and does not have equal goals across the board. I believe extremist anti-endos could potentially fall under the label of having a goal, but they are disorganized. “The group itself must have some hate-based purpose.” Most anti-endos I have had both the pleasure and displeasure of knowing… just want to be left alone. And for those who do not want that, I call them out regularly on tumblr.
What leaders? What official statements? Again, this is vastly different from groups with an actual creed or motto, groups who are a real crisis in today’s life. Some asshole on tumblr who is rambling about “The People Faking A Disorder!!1!!” is not systematically oppressing endogenic systems. They are not killing them in the streets, or dragging them behind cars via rope (an event I will not be forgetting soon as a queer individual).
Okay, if we use this definition, I could see it. I could see someone calling anti-endos a social group that practices hostility. But that is assuming that every individual who uses the label anti-endo agrees with everyone else in that social group. Which is not the case.
There’s three options, all of which, I could only loosely tie to the term hate-group.
Regardless: It is not my fucking place. I am so incredibly privileged. While I live in fear to hold my partner’s hand in public, queer rights have come leaps and bounds from where they used to be, particularly in the incredibly democratic state I live in. There are individuals who are being killed daily for their race, gender, sexuality, religion, nationality, ethnicity – any element of identity – and I do not have that same sort of fear. It is not nearly as much of a reality for me as it is for others.
That’s why I uplift and repeat those calls that POC around me say. Those POC, again, are not anti-endos. They are pro-endo, predominately. I’ve also had many “endo uninterested” friends, to quote a few.
I do not like calling anti-endos a hate group because I do not believe they are one.
(Not saying this is the only reason they dislike me, obviously. I’m certain they can find lots of other reasons. But it does seem a recurrent theme that these are the topics that make them the most heated.)
There are many more reasons, you are correct! I do believe that there are some that make me far more heated. I just also don’t think saying them here would be any benefit. I’ve already aired out my issues with you on my completely privated side blog, which nobody can see.
That doesn’t need to be public, and hopefully never will be.
And of course, the SN document which included many outright lies or just massively twisted my past statements.
I tried to display everything I saw from Sophie’s blog as I saw it at the time, based on how the individual who fakeclaimed her read them. This is how they were viewed. That isn’t a lie – that’s how they were interpreted.
Also – I was not the only person who wrote that document. I abandoned that document before finishing it, tossing it to the very few current moderators who were left after working on it for a straight week. I cannot, at this point in time, recall what I wrote on it. For all I know, they bastardized what was written and changed every last word.
(They wouldn’t do that. They cared about getting the truth out as clearly as possible. Everything that was on that document should be the fullest, clearest interpretation of events from our perspectives. Nonetheless – I have no recollection of the details that were written anymore, beyond I think some of the section titles, and the allegations that were directed directly toward me).
I’m so tired of people saying I’m lying about what I read. I’m sorry, now, that I didn’t go back through again while on my vacation in August to link to each and every claim I made, to provide the context of the posts. I’m also glad I prioritized my mental health.
Particularly: if I read things that badly, it’s very clear I was far too triggered to be handling those topics in the first place.
And good lord, yes, everything you said at the end, though I’ll address the reverse as I know I have a wider anti-endo audience on my blog:
Do not fucking send hatred to Sophie. Do not go rallying against her. This is what I said on my callout post about her over a year ago, now. Do not interact with Sophie.
That isn’t about her. It’s about you. (At the time, it might have been about her – I abandoned MotCR for a reason. I was a dick back then, and while I stand by the call to action, I actually don’t necessarily stand by that post any longer. But I very rarely delete posts, so people can hold me accountable).
Sophie’s content often triggers those of us with trauma related to many topics – endogenic systems, tulpamancy, racism, spirituality, hallucinations, religion, and many other topics. She discusses those topics in conjunction with endogenic systems.
Someone who triggers you by talking about something that triggers you is not worthy of harassment. Nobody is worthy of harassment.
Someone you feel is spreading misinformation is not worthy of harassment. Nobody is worthy of harassment.
Stop fucking bringing me up to her! Stop bringing her up to me! I’ve said it so many times! I’ve begged her not to post asks about me in the past, but it’s just. Unavoidable when we share the same spaces, at this point, for us not to see each other’s posts. And when I see things, I address them, because that’s the point of a discourse space.
But you all are only harming everyone by trying to “defend” those you care about. Including those you care about! Have faith that the individuals you are trying to support can support themselves. Dragging my name into people’s inboxes to try and support me only continues drama that I would rather be left well enough alone, buried deep in the amnesic recesses of my mind.
Normalizing hatred toward Sophie will normalize pro-endos sending hate to those they view as Not One Of Them. This has happened before and will happen again if it becomes the norm. Pro-endos have been harassed to deletion and even death. Anti-endos have experienced the same.
Stop fucking doing it.
…
And for the last point, as an aside at the end, I have a genuine question.
How many anti-endo friends do you people think I actually have?
When I mention my anti-endo friends, I typically mean… like… 5. Max. And that number has severely dwindled, both due to the fact that I’ve made a lot more people open to endogenic plurality, and due to the fact that I’ve cut many individuals off.
I do not have many anti-endo friends. And of those friends I have, we don’t really discuss any syscourse. I have, I believe, one anti-endo friend at this point whom I share a server with. We discuss very little as we are both fairly inactive in that server. I believe the most recent discussion was “is it morally okay to steal from a big super market” (yes) and “what should I get for christmas this year” (thanks for the suggestion on the diamond painting, I’m kinda looking forward to it if I get it!)
The majority of anti-endos don’t like me. They don’t interact with me. Those that do often find themselves no longer identifying as anti-endo, or already didn’t blast their syscourse stance everywhere in the first place.
The anti-endos I do associate with are the kind that simply want a space away from Endogenic systems. They admit endos exist. They simply don’t want endos around them, and find that the anti-endo label is a quick and easy way to get endos to stay far away. (Huh, it all circles back to that “we should be more accepting of others, regardless of label” idea…)
Look. At the end of the day, one thing remains true: me and Sophie do not need to get along. She will continue arguing against the takes I make that she disagrees with, and I will continue arguing against hers. Honestly, that is far, far healthier than what was happening when I was trying desperately to avoid mentioning her at all. I feel now that I can actually engage in the discussions happening. There’s a lot of reasons for that -- the biggest I think being that I really could not give a rats ass about this topic anymore. I don’t care about what she posts.
The majority of what she posts nowadays are either vagueposts or takes about plurality, which I think is fine and dandy. It’s not my territory, and if I have problems or thoughts, I’ll typically post them on my own. Which I have been! Remarkably, our takes can often exist in conjunction.
Me and Sophie are not at war with each other. It’s more “you stay in your corner and I’ll stay in mine.”
Please let us keep it that way?
#sophiecourse#pleeeeease let this be the end#I’m so tired of this garbage#beauty and poison go hand in hand#kitty caught the rabbit
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ⓘ DO NOT INTERACT / BEFORE YOU FOLLOW !
001. if you are racist, anti-LGBT+, xenophobic, fatphobic, sexist, or anything like that. this blog is a safe space and there is no room for hate anywhere!
002. if you are a minor. any minors / ageless / blank blogs that follow me will be instantly blocked without second thoughts. to avoid this, have your age somewhere visible (pinned or bio) and have your actual age! have a profile picture and some reblogged or posts of your own.
003. do not message or follow me if you’re someone that sends hateful messages or likes to cause fandom drama and arguments. like stated, this is a hate free place and I will not tolerate horrible people!
004. if your account has anything to do with the following subjects: proana / any ed’s, self-harm, loli / shota, zoophilia, fetishisation of race, religion, sexuality, or anything of the sorts.
005. this is a DARK CONTENT blog, I often post nsfw and a lot of dark content posts that some may not be comfortable with! all kinks and triggers will be listed at the beginning of each post, so please read those BEFORE continuing on with the post. CURATE YOUR OWN ONLINE EXPERIENCE! if any tags are missing, please feel free to let me know. however, do not contact me to kink shame or complain about things you do not like being in a post.
006. JUST BECAUSE I WRITE ABOUT A CERTAIN TOPIC DOES NOT MEAN I CONDONE IT IN REAL LIFE! please learn to separate fiction from reality.
ⓘ BASIC / OTHER INFORMATION !
001. most of my fics are wrote with sub!fem!reader in mind, however I will occasionally write for gender neutral and male reader, also occasionally I will write for dom reader!
002. requests will occasionally be open (check first and if you don’t know, send an ask to find out!). if you send a request, please be specific with character/s, scenario, topics! don’t send things like “smut with ____” send me deets!!
003. I have the right to delete any requests / thirsts / asks that I feel fit, whether it’s for my own comfort, or I simply just don’t vibe with it. I will never force myself to write something I don’t want, my goal is to improve as a writer and get better, and forcing myself to write will not only mean putting out worse quality content, but will also kill my motivation as a whole. please note if your request or ask isn’t answered, it’s most likely not personal!
004. respect the fact I am a very, very slow writer! sometimes I lack inspiration or sometimes it’s just no motivation — also, I do this as a hobby, do not rush me, I do not need to write when I do not feel up to it
005. even when my requests are closed, it doesn’t mean my asks are closed! I love being able to talk to you all about anything, and also talking about our thirsts together <3 so always feel free to drop me an ask!
006. please do not duplicate asks, that means do not send the same ask to me as you’ve already sent to someone else, it’s just disrespectful and makes us writers look bad.
007. do not ask to be mutuals, I don’t like forced friendships, and quite frankly it makes me uncomfortable. if you want to be friends then let it happen naturally, but don’t pressure it otherwise I’ll probably just block you.
ⓘ WHAT I WILL WRITE !
• aphrodisiacs, anal, age gaps, breeding, breath play, bondage, cumflation, cum eating, cuckolding, corruption kinks, dubcon, dacryphilia, daddy / mommy kink, drugging (sometimes), degradation, femdom, fisting, fear play, gun play, knife play, kidnapping, lactation, monsterfucking, noncon, pegging, pet play, power dynamics, praising, roleplay, stepcest, spitting, somnophilia, tentacle fucking, water sports, and more.
ⓘ WHAT I WILL NOT WRITE !
• age play, anything involving animals, child abuse, eating disorders, extreme gore, foot fetishes, gender dysphoria, heavy drug use / addiction (heroin, meth etc), high school student × high school teacher (college is fine), suicide, stds, self-harm, scat, snuff, vomit, vore, and probably more.
ⓘ FANDOMS & CHARACTERS !
attack on titan — [ annie leonhart, armin arlert, connie springer, eren jaeger, erwin smith, hange zoë, historia reiss, jean kirschtein, levi ackerman, mikasa ackerman, pieck finger, porco galliard, reiner braun, sasha braus, zeke jaeger ]
baldur’s gate 3 — [ astarion, dream visitor / the emperor, gale, gortash, halsin, karlach, lae’zel, shadowheart, wyll ]
dc universe — [ dick grayson / nightwing, jason todd / red hood ] *more to come soon*
dead by daylight — [ the artist, the doctor, ghostface, the huntress, the knight, the legion (frank + joey), michael myers, nemesis, the nurse, the oni, the pig, pinhead, the plague, pyramid head, the skull merchant, the spirit, the trapper, the trickster, albert wesker, the wraith, + all survivors except nick cage ]
devil may cry — [ dante sparda, nero sparda, v, vergil sparda + dmc reboot dante, kat, and vergil ]
genshin impact — [ albedo, alhaitham, arataki itto, beidou, cyno, dainsleif, diluc, dottore, kaedehara kazuha, kaeya, kamisato ayato, kujou sara, ningguang, raiden shogun, shenhe, shikanoin heizou, tartaglia, thoma, venti, wanderer, xiao, yae miko, zhongli + more ]
honkai : star rail — [ blade, caelus, dan heng, jing yuan, gepard, himeko, kafka, luocha, nanook, natasha, sampo, serval, welt, + more ]
jujutsu kaisen — [ choso, kento nanami, mahito, naoya zen’in, ryomen sukuna, satoru gojo, suguru geto, toji fushiguro, + more ]
overwatch — [ ashe, brigitte, cole cassidy, genji, hanzo, junker queen, lifeweaver, moira, ramattra, reaper, reinhardt, zarya ] *more to be added*
resident evil — [ albert wesker, ada wong, chris redfield, claire redfield, jack krauser, jake muller, jill valentine, luis serra, piers nivans ]
texas chain saw massacre : the game — [ ana, connie, johnny, julie, leland, sissy, sonny ]
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REEEE!!! I have rised from slumber and now onto making part two of the Disney Afternoon lore..so I hope you guys like it and fill free to stay tuned for more headcannon content. so here ima talk about the Darkwing Duck Universe cause, well, why not…I am ready to spill the beans lmao.
Darkwing Duck AU
• So here I imagine Coco living in St. Canard (away from her family members in Cape Suzette). Coco would move into a newer and safer part in the city so that her parents wouldn’t worry. Here Coco would also explore this city, going to the libraries and do her research on random topics…however she would just mostly read literature or science along with history…sometimes there would be crime and coco is just reading..
• However, she does help Darkwing Duck ; sense she has access to the library and with a powerful mind, she can help him by finding files of either heroic or records (since she is a Montenta, she can have access to those files or even just important documents for research purposes only), detective work, and also helping him by gathering information ; taking notes and handing them to Darkwing Duck…but she is sweet in general and would help take care of Gossalyn (When DW is Drake Mallard, Coco keeps it a secret so that his heroic identity isn’t revealed which DW truly respects)…now..onto the two AUs…
The Wholesome Path AU: so here is my “Good” path (meaning Coco is good) ; So here Coco would do her normal readings at the library and at one point, Coco notices Darkwing Duck and Launchpad McQuack ; Coco would help them and as she is helping them LP would be in awe by how smart she is and by how small she is (She is around 4”9ft - 5ft tall so she is small - general headcannon for coco) lol anyways, as coco would help the duo, Coco starts to develop feelings for Launchpad McQuack. Coco would notice this and would get nervous to tell him how she feels making her panic…even though she is smart, she is not really social so when someone creates a bond with coco (friendship) she is a chatterbox, sweet, and motherly person at heart..and Eventually she does tell LP how she feels and LP confessed that he too had feelings for her ; and in time they both end up in a relationship..(I would see them watch movies, help DW, and also just go out together - It’s giving Hercules and Meg vibes lmao 😂🤭 (also is a member of S.H.U.S.H in this AU)
The Path of Crime AU: so in this AU sadly, this is the “Bad” path. Coco would do her normal duties as a researcher however, people would only see her as a type of source and at times not treat her with respect making her very cross…and eventually she would try to isolate herself from anyone (including DW or LP) ; she wouldn’t talk about her problems and would fly solo…and at this point she would soon encounter The Liquidator which makes coco alittle intimidated however he would talk with her and give advise on how “being powerful is not just in the books but how you put yourself out there” or “you can’t let people push you around, buuuut with the liquidator’s advise I suggest stoping yourself from being pushed around and work for the winners…” (becoming a villain) at first she says no and runs off but time flies and she has second thoughts and so she makes her decision…she creates a vile with powerful chemicals to let herself have fire / lava like powers…she drinks the vile quickly and turns into a super villain known as HellSpawn. One day she would cause destruction and disharmony to the city (almost defeating Darkwing Duck and LP) and Liquidator noticed ; like the cheeky salesman he is, he would meet up with her and ask to join the fearsome 5..she agrees and eventually befriends the 5..lol when negaduck doesnt interact with the other 4, Coco happily hangs out with the 4 making them a chaotic but friendly group of friends…however she would think about being good again but its most likely not going to be the case ; and so she would stay as a villain but no longer have access to the Montenta library (because she associated with F.O.W.L and the fearsome 5)
(But yeah that’s the Darkwing Duck AU ; I will put some artwork on there as well along with more lore (For Example: Coco as a hero in St. Canard in secret 👀) but anyways hope you guys like it ; let me know if I said something wrong and also if y’all want ask about the AUs I got so far or if y’all have any other questions please type in the comments below! welp. HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!)
#darkwing duck#darkwing duck oc#disney afternoon#disney#headcannons#AUs#Coco Montenta#the liquidator#the fearsome five#St.Canard#launchpad mcquack
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I know I haven’t used this as a reading blog in FOREVER, but I feel the need to talk about the book I just read because holy shit did it destroy me in all the best ways.
Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson
4.75 ⭐️
So first off I wanna say that idk if this was intentional on the author’s part, but oh my god were the autism vibes off the charts for Artemisia. Like, that’s my autistic icon. Idc if it’s canon canon, it’s canon to me.
Secondly, HOLY FUCKING SHIT did the way this book deals with abuse and toxic cycles and trauma and learning to love yourself destroy me. Artemisia bonded with a revenant and it had to teach her how to take care of herself, and then later she realized it was just as traumatized and fucked up as she was, and they helped each other heal and it destroyed me.
I’ve seen those tumblr posts where it’s like “imagine you get possessed by a demon and the demon is so appalled at how you live that it gets you to start taking care of yourself” and this was kind of that concept but so much better and done so well. And it covers so many amazing themes and topics:
The realization that everything you’ve ever been taught isn’t just largely a lie, but also just fundamentally wrong. And realizing that there’s been a cycle of abuse and bad decisions but also knowing that if no one had made that decision then things would be even worse. And betrayals and friendships and lonely old spirits and no one is 100% right, and no one (not even the villains) are 100% bad or wrong. And realizing that you’re just a puppet in the hands of a god, and that gods aren’t always good. And finally stepping out of your denial of your trauma and accepting that you need to heal. And growing up and maturing and making amends and realizing that people can change. And understanding that everyone, no matter how old or how powerful, still gets lonely and needs someone to talk to.
Also featuring:
Badass, kind and wise old ladies, who are badass because they are kind
Bitchy spirit possessing someone
Mutually beneficial possession.
A delightful number of hurt-comfort adjacent scenes
Cool nuns.
Undead angels????
A very lovely horse who deserves all the treats
Many, many ravens
No romance
Favorite Lines (will come back and add later)
The one about the goat and biting back as related to trauma
The one about swords and sewing needles as related to hands and power
The one about not wanting to do things being a sign
“That’s my human.”
(This book is not explicitly queer, nor is the main character explicitly labeled as autistic, but it does feel queer and autistic to me. But that’s just my personal relation to the book. May not carry over for everyone.)
#morrigan.text#morrigan reads#vespertine#margaret rogerson#Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson#book recs
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🍩💐📣🪤💗 for Eilian?
🍩 DONUT - favorite sweet treat?
It’s probably telling this question is as tricky to answer as it is. Honestly I’ve always seen Eilian as not having a particular food he likes? Is a go with the flow, practical kind of guy. However, if there’s a specified sweet treat one of his parents makes, that would he his fav. It’s the nostalgia and familiarity that speaks to him. So while no ideas exist in my brain at the moment, that’s his fav sweet treat. My gut says it’s somehow Goh makes.
💐 BOUQUET - create a bouquet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favorite??
Girl, why you asking me to hunt down flower meaning charts 🥹. Like it’s a cool concept in theory, but I’ve yet to find a good, easy to use site that seems legit. But here’s a thrown together bouquet with hopefully accurate meanings.
Iris (your friendship means so much to me, faith hope) - this is just the vibe he gives off
Red carnation (my heart aches for you, admiration) - his feelings for Jett
Holly (defense, domestic happiness) - combo of protective nature and has a very happy home life
Fern (Magic, fascination, confidence and shelter) - another “this is his vibe” plant
Fir (Time) - self explanatory with the time-travel thing he has going.
Sweetpea (goodbye, departure, blissful pleasure, thank you for a lovely time) - related to time travel stuff. Def has to leave some people behind once he figures out stable time loop isn’t letting him change things, but it’s not all bad
As for a favorite flower, while Eilian def has an affinity for plants, being a grass-type specialist, much like the sweet question, I don’t see him as having a favorite? Perhaps down the line I’ll decide he does but for now, I feel he’s more fond of all types vs one being his favorite.
📣 MEGAPHONE - how loud are they? what do they speak like? got a voice claim?
No voice claim cause the concept doesn’t appeal to me, but I tend to picture Eilian being more on the soft spoken side. Or at least soft spoken when compared to the rest of his family who are all loud and boisterous (with Horace as the only other one who is in the “normal volume” range with him).
Eilian likes to think he’s well spoken and thoughtful in what he says, and he is that a fair amount of the time, but he’s prone to getting a bit overly talkative when there’s a subject he’s passionate about. He’s very open with his thoughts as well so he tends to speak his mind on topics. Being raised in a family where everyone spoke their mind influenced this. Like I don’t see him as the brutal honesty type per se, but…leans more towards that in that in that’s he’s very open and straightforward.
🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?
He's got that “hero gene” in him which leads to him acting the hero in situations where others are in danger. Even people he’s not particularly close to. He sees a person or Pokemon in danger, he wants to help, which someone cunning could easily twist that against him.
Eilian has a subtle arc to his character of wanting to help people and getting increasingly involved in time travel exploits to accomplish this, without realizing it’s at his own detriment. He thinks he is good at analyzing the potential consequences, but he’s not actually as good at it as he thinks. He’s short-sighted, which is why he would actually do well with someone more cyclical who can give him a reality check (I dig the idea of him and Jett being close friends/eventual lovers as Jett can be this person). Like I think Eilian is a self sacrificing person in a foolish sort of way. He’s a hero type. But he’s not the “Main Character.” So he doesn’t have that immunity to death that main characters have. So when the Celebi duo coerce him into traveling through time with them to fix problems, it causes more drama than intended (also I run with the idea of stable time loops so Eilian can’t actually change stuff in his own universe. Any real change is affecting an “AU.”)
The TLDR version of all of this is while Eilian doesn’t see himself as a hero type per se, it’s there. And when combined with his tinkering with Celebi and messing with time travel, someone savvy could fuck this boy over. Boys is about that “do what is right and be a hero”, life, which could he used against him.
💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticeable? what changes when they're in love?
When Eilian has a crush, he tries to act casual about it in hopes the other won’t notice. But he’s bad at acting casual. I always see his crush on Jett as him acting really flustered once feelings set in, and Jett would def pick up on this. But since they’re friends, ain’t gonna take advantage, even if he’s chill with sleeping with a homie. Eilian would have to be the one to make the first move for Jett to peruse (still gonna flirt here and there tho, likes seeing Eilian gets flustered).
As far as what changes, I don’t think that someone being a “love interest” for Eilian fundamentally changes how he acts around them. Other than the part about him not being able to hide it very well. With Jett, Eilian very much tries to repress and not have feelings, but that’s more to do with him seeing his crush on Jett being hopeless. Were he to have feelings for someone else, he’d likely be more open to embracing those feelings. Still gonna be kinda obvious about it before he confesses, but is gonna repress less.
#Eilian#asks#seadolph#thank you for the ask!#I always think stuff like this is easy to answer but not so! Thus the delay#JourneysEndShipping#Jett
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒
ⓘ DO NOT INTERACT / BEFORE YOU FOLLOW !
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006. JUST BECAUSE I WRITE ABOUT A CERTAIN TOPIC DOES NOT MEAN I CONDONE IT IN REAL LIFE! please learn to separate fiction from reality.
ⓘ BASIC / OTHER INFORMATION !
001. most of my fics are wrote with sub!fem!reader in mind, however I will occasionally write for gender neutral and male reader, also occasionally I will write for dom reader!
002. requests will occasionally be open (check first and if you don’t know, send an ask to find out!). if you send a request, please be specific with character/s, scenario, topics! don’t send things like “smut with ____” send me deets!!
003. I have the right to delete any requests / thirsts / asks that I feel fit, whether it’s for my own comfort, or I simply just don’t vibe with it. I will never force myself to write something I don’t want, my goal is to improve as a writer and get better, and forcing myself to write will not only mean putting out worse quality content, but will also kill my motivation as a whole. please note if your request or ask isn’t answered, it’s most likely not personal!
004. respect the fact I am a very, very slow writer! sometimes I lack inspiration or sometimes it’s just no motivation — also, I do this as a hobby, do not rush me, I do not need to write when I do not feel up to it
005. even when my requests are closed, it doesn’t mean my asks are closed! I love being able to talk to you all about anything, and also talking about our thirsts together <3 so always feel free to drop me an ask!
006. please do not duplicate asks, that means do not send the same ask to me as you’ve already sent to someone else, it’s just disrespectful and makes us writers look bad.
007. do not ask to be mutuals, I don’t like forced friendships, and quite frankly it makes me uncomfortable. if you want to be friends then let it happen naturally, but don’t pressure it otherwise I’ll probably just block you.
ⓘ WHAT I WILL WRITE !
• aphrodisiacs, anal, age gaps, breeding, breath play, bondage, cumflation, cum eating, cuckolding, corruption kinks, dubcon, dacryphilia, daddy / mommy kink, drugging (sometimes), degradation, femdom, fisting, fear play, gun play, knife play, kidnapping, lactation, monsterfucking, noncon, pegging, pet play, power dynamics, praising, roleplay, stepcest, spitting, somnophilia, tentacle fucking, water sports, and more.
ⓘ WHAT I WILL NOT WRITE !
• age play, anything involving animals, child abuse, eating disorders, extreme gore, foot fetishes, gender dysphoria, heavy drug use / addiction (heroin, meth etc), high school student × high school teacher (college is fine), suicide, stds, self-harm, scat, snuff, vomit, vore, and probably more.
ⓘ FANDOMS & CHARACTERS !
attack on titan — [ annie leonhart, armin arlert, connie springer, eren jaeger, erwin smith, hange zoë, historia reiss, jean kirschtein, levi ackerman, mikasa ackerman, pieck finger, porco galliard, reiner braun, sasha braus, zeke jaeger ]
baldur’s gate 3 — [ astarion, dream visitor / the emperor, gale, gortash, halsin, karlach, lae’zel, shadowheart, wyll ]
dc universe — [ dick grayson / nightwing, jason todd / red hood ] *more to come soon*
dead by daylight — [ the artist, the doctor, ghostface, the huntress, the knight, the legion (frank + joey), michael myers, nemesis, the nurse, the oni, the pig, pinhead, the plague, pyramid head, the skull merchant, the spirit, the trapper, the trickster, albert wesker, the wraith, + all survivors except nick cage ]
devil may cry — [ dante sparda, nero sparda, v, vergil sparda + dmc reboot dante, kat, and vergil ]
genshin impact — [ albedo, alhaitham, arataki itto, beidou, cyno, dainsleif, diluc, dottore, kaedehara kazuha, kaeya, kamisato ayato, kujou sara, ningguang, raiden shogun, shenhe, shikanoin heizou, tartaglia, thoma, venti, wanderer, xiao, yae miko, zhongli + more ]
honkai : star rail — [ blade, caelus, dan heng, jing yuan, gepard, himeko, kafka, luocha, nanook, natasha, sampo, serval, welt, + more ]
jujutsu kaisen — [ choso, kento nanami, mahito, naoya zen’in, ryomen sukuna, satoru gojo, suguru geto, toji fushiguro, + more ]
overwatch — [ ashe, brigitte, cole cassidy, genji, hanzo, junker queen, lifeweaver, moira, ramattra, reaper, reinhardt, zarya ] *more to be added*
resident evil — [ albert wesker, ada wong, chris redfield, claire redfield, jack krauser, jake muller, jill valentine, luis serra, piers nivans ]
texas chain saw massacre : the game — [ ana, connie, johnny, julie, leland, sissy, sonny ]
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This post I made as a bit of a joke at this comment from Peter since he laughed when Rocket admits he got taken advantage of by a girl he liked. (For clarity’s sake as I know how people’s minds wander I mean she screwed him over to do her a favor and left him to fend for himself treating him like, in his own words ‘like he was trash’) This game version of Rocket he does seem more on the male-attracted side.
Looking at Rocket through my own lens, I have always interpreted him as on the Bi spectrum (and any alternative male/female attracted terms that may go along with it such as demi/pan/ect) I just always thought he had ‘the vibe’ of not being 100% straight.
While MCU Rocket is extremely subtle in context of his orientation in any respect, I interpret him as being highly complex in that respect because he’s a complex character. We also know that he had to be palatable for the widest range of people possible and people tend to clutch their metaphorical pearls at the idea of an anthropomorphic character showing anything other than platonic friendship towards another species (male OR female) unless it’s a cartoon. (I am not going to go down that rabbit hole though.)
Now outing Rocket as actually being legitimately bi? The world on a wider level is not ready for that... but let me grace a few examples of what I’ve picked up on his bi-coding in general.
Relationship with Elder Groot? It has a sorta ‘gay married couple’ vibe to it, not saying that’s how their relationship worked, but there is a vibe I picked up on it. Other than that we can kinda look at how he does really treat his male and female friends with very little distinction.
His attachment to Peter also feels a bit crush-coded at times, I’ve seen enough breakdowns from other users to see plausibility. He even goes around wearing Peter’s scarf in End Game, literally carrying a memento of him everywhere he goes, not to mention he just sticks by the guy despite how frequently Peter insults him. We know he HATES being insulted, so I feel like maybe there’s implications that relationship for him is complicated. While I know this literally can just be a close friendship, it also could be possibly more.
Another thing to note with Peter is how Rocket NEVER is seen addressing Peter’s relationship with Gamora. He did try to get Peter to abandon her on several occasions (and on the flip side he did the same with her about Peter when Peter went to get his Walkman back on the Kynn) and even after Gamora dies, and Peter is all hung up about it, Rocket never once is seen trying to console him or talking about it in anyway. I think we can interpret that in a number of ways, but... maybe he was jealous? Peter’s love for Gamora? Gamora’s love of Peter? Maybe it’s an uncomfortable topic, maybe he just doesn’t know how to talk about it because it strikes to close to home, but it’s something to note, at least.
Three humanoid females that Rocket has unabashedly expressed attraction to in the comics are all at least masculine too. We have She-Hulk, Angela and then Star-Hawk (shown below Rocket is even using male pronouns and while maybe having a bit of a bi-awakening of some sort lol... he says what he’s thinking.) This scene is from the 2008 comic so things weren’t quite as liberal for the LGBT as they are now, so forgive Rocket with his slight homophobic Freudian slip here.
There is also a scene where Rouge is texting Rocket looking for relationship advice, and to be frank, that isn’t the only scene where Rocket is seen dishing out actually decent relationship advice to friends, but it really just feels like one of those troupes of getting relationship advice from a gay friend.
Over all this is all speculation, as I don’t think Marvel COULD out Rocket as being Bi at this time because he’s a popular character it’d make him more controversial than he already is, but I do hope in time we do see it revealed more directly.
Closing this rant out, I just want to clarify I don’t base this solely on what I want to see, it’s just how I see the character. He’s just got mad bisexy energy.
"I totally had you pegged as gay." - how this read in my head.
#(( I been RPing him for so long of course I am gonna think I have a good grip of his character lol ))#Headcanon#(( sorry long post ))#(( and tbh I coulda gone on more but I don't think people care that much about what I think ))
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Let's talk about unlikely pairings, not romantic ones, but friendships that we don't normally talk about. Like Amy and Fritz, John and Jo, Meg and Laurie, Fritz and Laurie, John and Amy.
Yes please!
Amy and Friedrich:
I have always said that Amy and Friedrich are very similar in regards of how their relationship with Laurie and Jo is. Those two help ground their significant other, both the calmer of the pair and are pretty wise. I feel like they would meet up sometimes just to be like, “Look at our idiots, but they are our idiots. God we love them so much” (affectionately). I can see Amy and he having long talks about European philosophies verses the Americans, and in a modern au, I can see Friedrich and Amy being the ones who will go to some foreign film festival and having a good time.
John and Jo:
I feel like once Jo had accepted the idea that Meg was going to be married, she learned to get over her intimal treatment of John. I never saw her resentment of John as a personal thing, she would have not liked any guy Meg choose, it's just that he was the one doing it. Once she got over it, she finds not only that John is good for Meg, but she likes his bookish ways and they often share books and pick each other's brains on topics. In a modern au, I can see Jo being the one John would take with him to games, since she gets more into it than Meg does.
Meg and Laurie:
They have such older sister and younger brother vibes. Laurie likes to push Meg’s buttons sometimes, and even when Meg gets annoyed at him, she still cares for him, and you better believe anyone messes with Laurie, she goes full on mama bear mode. Laurie looks to Meg as a kind of motherly figure too, often going to her for advice, particularly with Amy, wanting to be the best kind of husband for her. As the years had went by from childhood to adulthood, they have settled into themselves, Laurie isn’t as childish as he used to be, but he still has that boyish charm that still makes Meg laugh, and Meg isn’t as prim and uptight as she used to be, but she is definitely Laurie’s voice of reason beside Amy.
Friedrich and Laurie:
I can see these two being the kind of friends where one is the child and the other is the parent; Friedrich has such mom friend vibes, constantly getting Laurie out of trouble, and watching out for him, while Laurie helps Friedrich do things that get him out of his shell and try new things. The thing they both would bond over is their time in Europe and the feeling of being a little out of their depth while being in America. I feel like Laurie would tell embarrassing stories about Jo, and she’s like that kid when their parent shows embarrassing pictures, and she’s like, “oh my god, stop!” But Friedrich loves to hear the stories, he just nods and is like, “sounds about right.”
John and Amy:
John has no siblings of his own, and he has always thought of Amy as his own little sister, and it helps that in many ways, Amy reminds him of Meg, unsurprising since those two always were close. Amy likes John because he has a natural calm nature about him and always so kind and patient. Whenever she imagined what having an older brother was like, she always imagined it would be like John. I can see him being that shoulder for Amy to cry on if she doesn’t feel like she can share with Laurie. Similarly, John goes to Amy whenever he wants an opinion involving Meg, like, what would Meg like as a gift, or do you think Meg would worry if I told her this, etc.
#answered asks#little women#amy march#theodore laurence#friedrich bhaer#jo march#meg march#john brooke
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All superheroes are neurodivergent, and I refuse to believe otherwises. In fact, I will list some of the Marvel heroes I headcanon as ND
Scott Lang: ADHD. He jumps from fixation to fixation, his reoccurring hyperfixation being magic, he speaks out of turn and usually off topic to whatever is currently going on, has poor time management and is impulsive. He also had a strong moral code and will do what he feels is best, ie stealing from the rich. Luis and him get along so well because they’re brains are wired similarly, I’m just saying 👀
Tony Stark: ADHD/AUSTISM. This one is just as obvious as Scott. His special interest is science, he has poor social skills outside of what he’s adopted from others (masking in the form of sunglasses and a celebrity attitude), he doesn’t get social cues, is abrupt and interrupts others when hyperfocused and is know to be very impulsive. He has emotional outbursts when overwhelmed/overstimulated (though he deals with understimulation a lot too IMO), not good with empathising but is shown he can sympathise with others and even show them compassion if he’s close to them. Again, strong sense of justice that fits his own definition (deciding that he should be held responsible for his mistakes in making weapons, Ultron and Sokovia, etc).
Steve Rogers: AUTISM. Strong sense of justice, emotional outbursts, stretchy fabric/layers to avoid oversensitivity 👀, special interests were art and maybe even war/fighting, hard time making friends growing up, relates to others with his own stories when comforting people because that’s the only way he knows how, when he’s not interested in a task he will just leave without justifying it (ie the science exbo) which makes him appear arrogant (and Bucky seems used to Steve just randomly wandering off, probably cause Steve’s done it all throughout their friendship).
Bucky Barnes: ADHD. Poor time management, oversharing, bad with tones (his own and others), always seems confused because he’s almost never paying attention to a situation but instead is instead three topics ahead in his own mind, his hyperfixation in the 40’s in fantasy novels and science (specially mechanics) and he regains those fixations post-HYDRA but catching up on modern day fantasy media & boat mechanics. Makes notes of everything so he doesn’t forget anything, makes impulsive decisions all the time (freeing Zemo, asking Wakanda for new wings, moving in with Sam, etc) and has a (un)healthy dose of rejection sensitivity dysphoria.
Sam Wilson: AUTISM. Sam is the ultimate masker but this man has ASD and no one can tell me otherwise. He hates changes to his routine without his consent (ie unable to get rid of the boat, jogs every morning, etc), his special interest is technical engineering (his wings & Redwing), he often jokes at inappropriate times & refuses to apologise unless he feels he was in the wrong. Strong sense of justice, emotionally shuts down when stressed, has many casual friends but very few close friends because he finds it hard to connect with people (he connects with Nat, Steve & Bucky cause they’re all ND, duh).
Natasha Romanoff: AUTISM. Growing up in the red room forced her to be an expert at masking, but whenever she doesn’t seem to be acting ‘appropriately’, she’s shown to be uncaring of social cues, burns out easily, and thrives off routine. Her special interest was probably ballet for a long time before it was ruined for her. She wears tight clothes because she doesn’t like baggy outfits that will brush against her when she’s not expecting it and keeps her hair red because it’s her one constant that makes her feel comfortable and gives her something to focus on when she’s overwhelmed.
Peter Parker: ADHD/AUTISM. Do I really need to explain this one? I feel it’s overly on the nose. Hyperactive, special interest is spiderman, hyperfixation is science and pop culture, socially awkward and talks a little too fast for everyone else to catch up with. He’s the ADHD/ASD combo that slots right in under the wing of Tony.
James Rhodes: AUTISM. Come on. Come on. I just,,, he’s best friends with Tony Stark. He’s wanted to be in the Air Force since he was a kid, he went to MIT and has a Masters in the science of Aerospace Engineering. He’s the voice of reason and always thinks of the obvious conclusions without thought to the moral implications (ie killing baby Thanos) or the emotional process of others (ie Steve crashing into the ocean instead of jumping out of the plane). He’s stubborn and rarely yields to others opinions, even if it puts him under social scrutiny. He spends months looking for Tony when most would assume he was dead (and Rhodey has been shown to be very rational and level headed in everything else) because, honestly, I think Tony is his favourite person.
Bruce Banner: AUTISM. Bad with socialising, off in his own world half the time, ahead of conversations, heavy dose of RSD, jumps to conclusions because he interrupts others, emotional outbursts, special interest in physics (though he does have six other PHDs), etc. I’m also pretty sure he had DID as a kid (Hulk was his alter).
Thor: ADHD. Impulsive, doesn’t like change, poor time management, bouts of depression & anxiety, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, interrupts others, seems dumber than he is due to having no filter from brain to mouth, comfort item is his hammer, personally I think he hyperfixates on Jane Foster because she’s the first human he’s really met which is why the eventual break up isn’t as painful as say Tony’s break with Pepper.
Peter Quill: ADHD. Look I could explain this one, but it’s just his whole vibe. The obsession with old school music and film, the impulsive behaviour, the way he interacts with others, he just gives the vibe.
DC BONUS
BATMAN: AUTISM. Special interest is bats, self isolates, doesn’t get along with others because he’s socially awkward, his mask is Bruce Wayne, lives by a strict moral code, blah blah blah HES OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC (and so are all the robins send tweet)
Reblog with your own superhero ND headcanons!!
#marvel#mcu#sam wilson#bucky barnes#Tony stark#steve Rogers#natasha romanoff#Bruce Banner#thor odinson#Peter parker#James rhodes#rhodey#Scott Lang#batman#avengers#autism#adhd#headcanons#dc comics
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