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everythingsinred · 1 year

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 39)

I'm sorry. What lies ahead is more of a rant than anything else. It's not required reading in any case. Feel free to read if you want my take on the specific reasons why this ending is so lackluster.

We've come really far to get here, though! If you've read every part of to this, that is CRAZY. I think it's crazy someone would write so much about this, and I was the one who did it. Maybe we're both crazy.

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Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Eight

Time to meet Mikan! A second-year high school student living in a village near the ocean who lives with her grandpa and a strange bear. She has two friends who don’t seem to wear the uniform. Her life is simple, from the outside.

But she is a person shrouded in mystery! Even to herself! She has lost two whole years of memories due to an illness she had as a child. In her mind, she suddenly went from being in the fifth grade to entering middle school, which must have been jarring for her. All she knows is her grandpa, an ever-present bouquet whose flowers never wilt, and a teddy bear who came with a letter from a mysterious sender, whose name has been redacted. But this bear is not a normal bear! He is animate and can move and clean (and beat her up). The strangest thing is that it only moves in front of her and her Jii-chan. Mikan’s reputation in the village has been affected by this strangeness in her life. She is viewed as being an odd girl, a bit of a space case.

Mikan is the crazy girl in the village. I would have loved to see more of that...

It seems Mikan has always been a weirdo. I speculated at the start of this essay that Mikan didn't always fit in with kids in her village, and it seems that's still the case now. Where Mikan thrived was Alice Academy, where she was surrounded by fellow weirdos, where she made amazing friends and bonds that would last forever.

Despite the bear’s strangeness, she is very close to him. He’s a part of the little family she has with Jii-chan.

Mikan may be a strange girl surrounded by strange things, but she is an optimistic and cheerful girl who likes to look forward to every new day.

At the end of the school day, Mikan’s teacher warns his students about mysterious disappearances and suspicious people in town. All of the victims seem to be girls Mikan’s age, so the police warn against teen girls walking by themselves. Mikan finds this situation strange since their town is so peaceful and idyllic, and doesn’t seem like the place for a string of kidnappings. The teacher freaks out and insists on Mikan paying attention, shaking her by the shoulders and telling her to take care of herself or else he’ll have to watch over her 24/7… which is gross. Get away, Mikan!

Seeing her get harassed isn't enjoyable though. I hatE her stupid friends. Gross. Creepy. Unsettling. One of her friends is a grown man in disguise. I want to rip his head off.

Mikan leaves school crying after that ordeal and her friends just laugh it off, teasing her for being the teacher’s favorite and what bad luck that must bring. I don’t find it funny but nobody asked me! In any case, her friends write off their teacher’s concern because of Mikan’s cuteness, which she seems to love hearing.

Clubs and afterschool activities have been canceled because of the kidnappings, so we have a sense of how dangerous these events are.

Someone calls out to her on their way home--a boy who wants to talk in private. Her friends muse on how many guys confess to Mikan despite her “common” looks--and I must reiterate again how important it is to me that Mikan is not some drop-dead gorgeous model like Nobara or Hotaru are clearly made out to be. Also her friends suck. They figure her mystery might be attractive to boys, and that might be true, but I think her sweetness and bubbly energy might also play a role.

He does indeed confess to her and Mikan apologizes, citing her ignorance in the world of dating. She thanks him for liking her but turns him down. Her rejection of him is not personal at all, and thus wholly non-offensive. She doesn’t seem uncomfortable or put off by his affections, and I think that might soften the blow of her rejection a little.

Her friends scold her for turning him down, since he’s smart and in a prestigious club, and Mikan concedes that he did seem cool, but that she won’t date for anything less than love. They continue to bully her for rejecting him when love comes after dating, and Mikan sees their point, especially because she hasn’t had her first love yet, but she is sure, somehow, that she did love someone during the time she lost. As a result, whenever she talks to a boy, no matter how impressive or cool he seems, she always compares him to that feeling of love she still carries with her, for a person she doesn’t even remember.

Ah, the consistent endurance of love. The question of whether love is something that can be forgotten or whether it becomes a function as natural as breathing or digestion. For Mikan, it seems to be the latter. She remembers that she was--is still--in love with someone, and dating carries no interest to her if it can’t compare to that feeling.

The love is certainly not past tense, either, because she still feels it--an ache, a pain, a lonely feeling. She misses this person.

There's potential here but no follow through. What we get is just endless disappointment.

They stop by the ocean and Mikan relishes the moment, always happy to see the sea, as if she is watching it for someone else too. She recalls feeling that way watching the snow fall, looking at the sky, feeling happy like she was watching for somebody else, and then explicably crying, unable to stop. No matter what she does or experiences, her heart is pulled to that love.

And what do I think of all this?

It’s pretty confusing, the way it’s written. It’s no secret I fucking hate these chapters, and there’s a lot of reasons, but this scene is something I can’t relish in because it can be read a few ways and I can’t help but feel like I know which is the way Higuchi intended it.

It’s pretty clear from the blurry panels of forgotten memories that Mikan is thinking of multiple people as she stares into the ocean, thinking of Hotaru as she stares at the snow. And yet, this whole monologue of hers seems to be thinking of one person. What does this mean?

Well, primarily, I think Mikan’s amnesia mixes the love up, and I feel l want to believe that’s narratively intentional, that Mikan loves and misses many people, but can’t parse out that fact. Instead it feels like she just loved one person that much that everything reminds her of a love she can’t remember.

In my opinion, this love is varied, because she loved a lot of people in different ways: friends, family, Natsume (who has always been different). I think she is put off by romance because of her enduring romantic love for Natsume, but it’s not only Natsume that she thinks of when she sees the ocean. Mikan loved so many people and now she misses them, all the friends and teachers and classmates and family she met and lost. It would make sense then that amnesia!Mikan might look at the moon and think of Natsume, or at the stars and think of her mother. Maybe she hears a violin and misses Sumire, or cries whenever she studies because she wishes Yuu was there--all without actually remembering the person, just the love. As a result, because she knew and loved so many people, she would get reminded of that love whenever she does anything.

What puts me off about this is the rest of this arc and the unproportional emphasis on Hotaru. I already hate the choice to have Hotaru save Natsume so her fate hasn’t actually been sad to me for a few years now--just deeply annoying and pointless. I am of the opinion that Mikan entering the academy was a change for her, that she was a weird girl in her old village, who didn’t have many close friends until she met Hotaru. Then she went to the Academy and was able to make many friends with people who loved and accepted her. She finally found somewhere she belonged.

These ending chapters, thus, should have been about her enduring love for everyone, how the bonds she made at the Academy were impossible to forget. Instead, the reunion with Natsume and her entire class is condensed to one chapter--and very little of it is pleasant--with the entire final chapter being about Hotaru, as if to make the point that despite all of the love Mikan gathered and gained, Hotaru is still the person she loves the most, and by a huge margin, almost to the point where her other loved ones don't really matter at all.

AnyWAY, the kidnappers have found her and Mikan is terrified and confused. A mysterious explosion seems to save her from the kidnappers, and when she looks through the flames, she can see the silhouette of a person in the distance, a silhouette that makes her heart beat faster. She instantly becomes overwhelmed, because now it’s not just external events confusing her; she’s confounded by what’s going on inside of her head too.

On the other side of her, another man knocks the kidnappers out with his hand powers. And that makes her heart beat too. But Mikan assumes her discomfort around this new man is because he must be part of the kidnapping group.

Reminding myself that this is a ship essay and that Higuchi gave me a couple crumbs to work with... There's just not even enough to make a crouton with.

Then it turns out Shi-chan is actually Goshima in disguise and if you aren’t touched or particularly interested in this redemption, join the club! The “Goshima has been by Mikan’s side for years, protecting her” idea means absolutely nothing to me when it all happened in one condensed chapter, when he’s been seen bullying and even physically hurting her in his girl disguise, and when I never really cared about Goshima as a character to begin with. Too little, too late, too weird. I find this off-putting, actually. Whose idea was it to trust Goshima with anything after he’s been established to not be trustworthy, just for the sake of giving him a chance to “redeem himself”? For all the nonsense about Mikan having to forget everything just in case she gets targeted by enemies, they sure did take a huge risk letting Goshima anywhere near her after he knowingly caused her mom’s death.

Anyway, Mikan is overwhelmed and confused, because her close friend just turned into a man and there’s a lot of weirdos around and they’re talking about stuff she doesn’t understand--

And then she bumps into someone as she’s backing away, someone who instantly grabs her hand and pulls her closer.

Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Nine

Her heart beats fast again, and for some reason, looking at this guy makes her think of that feeling of love she had mused on before, how she somehow knows she was in love before. Somehow, just looking at him and touching him, makes her feel like this stranger knows her, makes her feel something strange and yet unbearably familiar. She knows she’s felt this before--

The potential of this! It's almost interesting but it only lasts three seconds, so who cares?

The stranger gropes her chest.

But of course he does! This arc SUCKS! There’s so little good about it, why would the NatsuMikan reunion be any different??? I am ANGRY. I HATE this arc, not even joking. I’m not exaggerating; I genuinely hate this finale.

Anyway.

She starts freaking out--understandably--that this stranger, who made her feel feelings she was sure she wouldn’t find with any of the other guys who confessed to her, felt her up out of the blue for no fucking reason. She starts screaming for help but he seems unbothered. All of the strange men seem unbothered, actually.

Then, to make matters even worse, three new weirdos arrive. I don’t know why they thought it was a good idea to ambush her with so many strange people at once, all of whom are men, right after she’d been almost kidnapped. They talk about and at her without her knowing them and it’s uncomfortable. If you think I only dislike Natsume’s first actions with her here, you’re wrong! All of it is thoughtless and inconsiderate.

Who thought to themselves, “Y’know there’s a string of alice-related kidnappings near Mikan and she’s been warned not to walk by herself because these are predominantly male attacks on young female victims her age, so we should make sure to save her with an all-male team of suspicious characters who are sure to act strangely and frighten her”? Because whoever did is a fucking idiot.

Why am I surprised though? It’s one of the teachers for sure, and the Academy staff hasn’t impressed me much this whole manga.

They seem to know her name and talk about her like they’re familiar with her, which only freaks her out more. She lays eyes on a blond person who is supposed to be handsome and princely according to her thoughts (but I always despaired about how the finale boys look more than twice the age they’re supposed to be and are bizarrely broad).

But they all voice the same sentiment that the blond boy brings up: they have missed her and wanted to see her for a long time. They’re going to take her away.

Mikan considers this: a group of strange men appears at just the right time to save her from kidnappers, and they claim to be friends from a time she has forgotten, and now want to take her away from home.

She starts to run away, horrified, because obviously these guys are also kidnappers!

She despairs about why her life has to be so messy and mysterious, just as that gropey guy jumps in front of her to stop her from escaping. They make eye contact and the build-up here is that something drastic might happen, that she wouldn’t be off-base if she assumed he’d attack her somehow.

Instead, she is embraced by this stranger, and she’s taken aback by the sudden and uncalled-for sweetness. Until he starts screaming at her that he isn’t about to let her go. He says more cryptic stuff about searching for her endlessly, about how it felt to wake up without her, how hard he had to work to stay alive for this moment, that she shouldn’t have forgotten him.

And poor Mikan can only stand in his arms and listen, overwhelmed but undoubtedly touched somehow.

“Even if you have forgotten your memories, and the alice stone you had back then, you are mine.”

Mikan starts to cry, remembering that she had once been in love with someone, that she had turned down every guy who approached her because no matter how cool or handsome they were, they could never compare to that feeling of loving someone so much--a feeling that she only feels in this stranger’s arms.

Ahh...

Without understanding why, she hugs him back and cries in his arms, thinking about how she feels with this crazy dude she just met, her entire body overcome with electricity, with the “painful intensity of love.” Yes, love, for someone she just met. Love, for someone she’s loved for a long time, even though she’s forgotten him.

Because even though his name and face and all the memories with him have been forgotten, the love she has for him has never budged.

She cries and hugs him until her attention is drawn to his pocket, where something is flickering. He pulls it out to show her, a little pebble. He puts it in her hand and it is instantly resorbed, and WHOOSH!

She starts to cry. Because she remembers everything now! Just like that!

It’s almost as if having her lose all her memories two chapters ago didn’t actually MEAN ANYTHING! The lack of build up to this moment, the all-over-the-place quality of these chapters… it just doesn’t feel as exciting as it should.

It all just feels pointless. Or at least it does to me. Like. What was the point?

She says Natsume’s name as she cries, instant relief at being able to see someone she was sure she would never see again, someone who had maybe even died. Yet here he is, right in front of her, alive. She has recovered her memories so now when Natsume hugs her again, it’s not out of the blue and she instantly reciprocates.

Insert witty or sappy comment here.

She is then greeted with an onslaught of “What about me?” and “Do you remember me?”, which she answers in the affirmative for all.

This whole scene is pretty rushed and unsatisfying but Mikan has a happy reunion with people she loves and now remembers.

Chapter One Hundred and Eighty

I don’t relish analyzing these chapters because I hate them. There isn’t much to analyze, really, but there is a lot to critique and I don’t like being negative about Gakuen Alice, so I prefer to just ignore these chapters whenever I can. In fact, most of the time I'm able to forget these chapters enough that they don't feel like a part of canon at all to me, giving me the opportunity to consider alternate and better endings. I like very little that is offered here. These chapters just piss me off, and that sucks because I set out on this essay because I knew that the manga has so much to offer in terms of intelligent story-telling and this ending just messes it all up.

It is apparently a miracle that Mikan has managed to regain her memories, even if it’s a small portion of what she’s lost (and that feels pointless too). But Mikan is sure she didn’t cause the miracle, because she heard a voice when she resorbed the alice stone that wished she’d regain her lost memories. That girl’s voice set off a big wave of memory, apparently. So it wasn’t even the alice stone.

Apparently, even though she was surrounded by people she loves, nobody’s voice or appearance unlocked any solid memories, but Hotaru’s disembodied voice does? Now, I don’t like that at all, personally, because to me it seems antithetical to Mikan’s character and undermines the love she has for everyone else, both her romantic love for Natsume and her platonic love for her friends and family. This last chapter irritates me so much, in fact, because it seems to be making the point that Mikan doesn’t just love Hotaru the most, but that she loves her so much more than everyone else, and those kinds of revelations being shared openly in front of everyone else who loves her just rubs me the wrong way and gives me a gross feeling.

I find it hard to picture that Mikan’s love for the others couldn’t even come close. It’s stupid.

I'm so mad. Mikan, didn't Jii-chan teach you any manners? What the actual fuck would make you say something like that in front of all these people who love you? That's so annoying. This chapter is not canon to me, I'm sorry.

She even says she “always loved that person more than others” IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE AROUND HER. All these people who have been missing her and waiting to see her, and she just says “I love someone else way more than y’all!” like it’s no big deal!

And that’s why I dislike the scene in 178, where Mikan talks about her overpowering love for one person. Because to Higuchi, this isn’t an amalgamation love thing, it’s focused solely on Hotaru, implying that sure, maybe Mikan is happy to see all her friends again, but the person she’s cried over and missed for all these years is just Hotaru. It sucks, man.

Mikan was a lonely person before she went to the academy. Sure, she went to chase Hotaru, but there's so many bonds and relationships she built while at that school, with teachers, with classmates, with her upperclassmen, all people who impacted her and changed her and made her better. People she cried about leaving, people she didn't want to forget. People she was willing to lock herself in a labyrinth to save, people she would have put herself in danger for.

This final chapter says those people don't matter. The only person who matters or has ever mattered is Hotaru. It makes me feel gross, because that's not the story we've been reading.

Anyway, they all fill her in and Mikan has to deal with Goshima, who murdered her mom, and we have to watch yet another moment of her blindly forgiving someone because holding grudges is bad! Then again, Mikan apparently doesn’t even remember her parents, so her forgiveness isn’t entirely informed by actual memories or feelings, just the general vibe that Goshima is nice now and shouldn’t feel bad about murder anymore.

You're a creep, Goshima! Who the hell would trust you, that doesn't even make sense! It's not "mercy", it's stupidity. Let him prove himself in some other way, not with the duty of protecting your niece, the daughter of the woman he killed. All of Shi-chan's actions are ten thousand times worse when you keep in mind that was actually a grown man.

“Everyone needs to smile!” and just get over whatever bad stuff happens, I guess. If someone wrongs you, you have to forgive them, or else you’re just being a negative nancy!

SHE EVEN ENDS UP APOLOGIZING TO HIM for not appreciating how much pain HE was in! I HATE THIS ENDING SO FUCKING MUCH.

“Let’s just forget about it!” I hate this ending.

There’s absolutely no attention paid to pain, to suffering, to abuse. There’s no respect given to characters like Natsume who underwent horrific trauma at the hands of abusive teachers, a character who might not feel as inclined to forgive as Mikan is. There’s no appropriate time spent considering these feelings. There's no care here. Instead, Higuchi’s narrative implies that bad things should be forgotten and you should in fact apologize to those who wronged you for not realizing they’re in pain!

(I actually did reference this in ATRAD, so if this seems familiar, that’s why. I put a lot of emphasis on Luna and forgiveness, and Mikan’s feeling as if she should forgive because that’s what she’s supposed to do, and what would bring happiness to everyone else. I specifically talked about it because of how much it bothered me in the manga.

“Well, Luna and I were talking about the past issues here.” Kuonji gestured between the two girls. “Now, Mikan, we all know that what Luna did was horrible. Luna knows better than anyone that it was wrong. She’s talked to me about it and I think it causes her more pain than it does you, knowing that her actions caused you pain.”

“She tried to kill me,” Mikan muttered.

“Now, imagine how she feels, knowing that?” Kuonji said gently. )

I feel no desire to talk about this boring information that gets dumped on us all of a sudden in the last chapter. What’s the point? It’s irrelevant. This is the LAST chapter of Gakuen Alice and it’s used as an information dump to justify the nonsense that’s happening, that undermines everything else. What’s there to analyze?

Whatever.

It's a combination of things. I hate Hotaru's role in this end. I hate Mikan's behavior in this chapter. I hate that nearly every page in this chapter is text heavy and loaded with new information that has no place in a finale. I hate that nothing matters. They all deserved better.

Mikan is reminded of Hotaru’s name and she has a little breakdown trying to get why that name is the only one on her heart (WHAT???), when she meets even more people--including Shiki, and she’s told that Mikan is crucial in the efforts to find this Hotaru person. Mikan is again brought to tears when she hears Hotaru’s voice wishing her a happy birthday, recorded on mushrooms that Ruka has kept all this time.

Mikan is then given a choice: to leave with these people as a quasi-Alice, to help save Hotaru, or to forget everything again and go back to her normal life.

The fact that anybody is concerned about what she’ll choose is fucking stupid.

It’s not even a choice. Obviously we know what she picks.

But her reasoning is for some reason entirely about Hotaru, and saving Hotaru, when all her other friends are standing around her hoping that this isn’t the last time they see her. THIS PISSES ME OFF.

She then meets all her other classmates all at once. Randomly. It’s rushed, it’s not heartfelt. It feels like things are being done just to finish them. The only thing of any value is the memory that Mikan wanted to see the ocean with everyone when things at the Academy become better. And it looks like things are better! So they’re all together at the beach! Yay! I don’t care.

It’s time to go on a trip to save Hotaru! Right away. Like right now. And even though Mikan is reuniting with everyone she’s loved at the Academy, the only one who actually matters is Hotaru for some reason.

I remember looking through the raws of this chapter when it first came out and the empty, stirring feeling in my stomach. The lack of interest I had in anything that was happening visually, the huge bubbles of text, the presence of way too many characters. This should go without saying but I didn't actually read any translation of this ending until years after it came out. I've probably read these final chapters 3-4 times total since they came out. They're just not important to my experience of this story at all.

Do I like Mikan chasing after Hotaru at the end just like she did in the beginning? Hmm. No. I hate it. I hate Hotaru saving Natsume for Mikan’s sake. I hate Hotaru being stuck in time-space. I hate Mikan acting the exact same as she did in the first chapter, as though she didn't grow or change at all, as if all the love she’s gained with other people doesn’t compare at all to her love for Hotaru, downplaying how much everyone else means by a lot. I hate the open-endedness. I hate that none of the reunions hold any weight and none of them make me feel anything, not even the NatsuMikan one.

ME. I don’t feel ANYTHING in these chapters but annoyance. I’m the kind of person who cries just thinking about Pengy or Natsume and Ruka’s backstory. I cry all the time. I cried watching House almost every episode. I cried watching the lamest romcoms known to man. I cry everytime I watch a true crime documentary and everytime a mom says "I'm proud of you" to her kid on TV and everytime I look too long at my cat. I cry about fucking EVERYTHING. And Higuchi didn’t make me feel fucking anything with the finale to her manga.

I’m sick and tired of these chapters. They’re not canon to me. They feel disrespectful to me and annoying and I hate them. I prefer Kageki, or even better--imagining an entirely different ending, particularly because of Mikan. Anyway.

It’s no secret, I think, that I hate the GA finale. I am not a big fan of the way Natsume’s death was resolved, or how Ruka’s arc was left hanging open, or how Hotaru got trapped in space time. I don’t like that everything that happens to Mikan in the end doesn’t even matter, that everything in the ending is pointless and results in no change, no development, no consequence.

I’ve said before that I personally can’t write unhappy endings, but I can sometimes cope with them in other people’s stories if that’s the best resolution for the characters. GA is a strange example of an ending because it wanted to have both a happy and unhappy ending, which just resulted in it being a meh ending at best (and excruciatingly irritating at worst). The ending insults all of Mikan’s non-Hotaru relationships and all the readers who liked them. The reunions are all rushed and thus none of it makes an emotional impact.

The worst part, in my opinion, is that the chapters leading up to this finale (so the last couple dozen) aren’t much better because they lend a hand to this. Character arcs are the most important part of a story’s narrative in a work like this. This manga has been incredibly well-written up to this part, particularly in regards to most of the main four having well-defined arcs. There’s three types of character arcs, I think:

Character evolution would usually refer to any kind of change, but for the sake of clarity, for this, I’ll use it as a positive change. Think of a character who has trust issues. Character evolution would mean that he eventually starts trusting in people. The story would climax with his trust in someone being tested and him choosing to trust anyway. That’s what character-based storytelling is all about, fulfilling someone’s character arc by addressing their faults and obstacles.

I’ll use the term character “devolution” to refer to a character arc where the character has a negative arc progression. Technically, this is character evolution as well, just of the negative variety, but for clarity’s sake I’ll call it devolution or deterioration. Let’s say, there’s a character who just wants to protect her younger sister. Over the course of the narrative, her actions become more and more drastic and she does increasingly atrocious things in the name of protecting her sister until she’s become something akin to a monster, maybe even the story’s villain. A well-written character arc does not have to be focused on positive change.

The last type of character arc would be… none. Some characters are called “static” which means they stay the same throughout the story. The story isn’t circled around testing them or pushing them into developing. Characters like this are more involved in challenging other characters.

I think Hotaru is more or less a static character. She becomes a little more open with her emotions, sure, but the little changes she makes are almost imperceptible on a narrative level. If you look at the individual arcs and think about Hotaru’s actions, she rarely plays an active role. She is usually a catalyst for Mikan’s actions, or a strong supportive role. It’s what her character does best because that’s just what static characters do! I don’t think there’s much wrong with characters like this, and people use “static” as a negative term way too often, but I strongly believe Hotaru would make that same sacrifice for Mikan in chapter one that she makes at the end, which makes the action less potent. Mikan’s desire to be able to sacrifice comes from being inspired by Hotaru’s sacrifice. Hotaru doing what she’s always done as the climactic action in the manga sucks out all the narrative potency from the ending when there’s two characters with unresolved arcs. Hotaru would have worked best in a strong support role here, and I think it would have been more meaningful to have Hotaru chase Mikan rather than the other way around again.

I’ve seen that referred to and praised as some kind of narrative bookend or parallel, but to me it always felt lazy, like there was no real change to Mikan or Hotaru’s characters for all of these almost two hundred chapters. It rubs me the wrong way, and maybe that’s because I’m focusing too much on character arcs and narrative, but hey! That’s what I was trained to look at in college, so I can’t change this about myself.

Exhibit B is Ruka, who I think was pushed to the side unceremoniously and whose arc was completely ignored. Yes, I did mention character devolution. It’s possible that a good arc for Ruka would look like him being faced with the opportunity to save Natsume and, despite his very best efforts, not being able to, or even making things worse inadvertently, suddenly feeling like he’s received proof after all these years that he truly is a burden. That’s a sad arc progression, but it works narratively. It would seem strange in a work like GA, which tries to be positive, but it works. But he didn’t get that. Ruka is too easily escorted from the action, from the climax, entirely sidelined. Ruka’s arc is pretty clear--what his biggest issue is and what he needs to change about himself in order to live a successful life is painted for us from the beginning. He’s not static like Hotaru, especially because his character arc is brought up multiple times in multiple arcs and he makes a little progress each time, as a way to tease a huge event on the horizon where he will be fully confronted with his burden complex. He is not given this opportunity and the spotlight is ceaselessly handed elsewhere, making his character inconsequential when it comes to Natsume’s death. A spit in the face.

The only character whose arc seems perfect to me is Natsume’s, funnily enough, but only to an extent. Natsume dying for love is perfect for him, and I believe that ending his arc any other way wouldn’t be as meaningful to his character. This has been set-up from the beginning, almost as if fate has commanded that he would die no matter what changed in his life. And that’s great because we see him change his perspective from Chapter 16, when he’s happy to kill himself, relieved that his suffering will soon be over, into his eventual death, where he can’t accept that his life is over because he doesn’t want it to be. He does everything he can to save Mikan, but ultimately when death comes for him, he doesn’t really want to go. That’s PERFECT! The thing that ruins it is Hotaru rescuing him for Mikan’s sake. Natsume’s martyr complex throughout the manga reveals to us just how little his existence means to him. He always comes dead last to himself and what he needs is other people choosing him first and making him feel like his life is significant and means something other than what he can do for others. Hotaru saving him puts his actual existence dead last. She doesn’t save him for him, but because of Mikan. Hotaru doesn’t really care about Natsume, so when she saves him, it reinforces the idea that Natsume exists for other people, that all he’s good for is what he can give. The absolute WORST part of that is that Higuchi Tachibana didn’t even think of that. There’s no evidence that this story choice wants to explore what that means for Natsume, how that choice would impact everyone involved. The carelessness and sloppiness is what bothers me here, that Natsume’s nearly perfect arc is tainted by the fumbling effort to put Hotaru in an active role that doesn’t benefit her character arc, that negatively impacts everyone else’s arcs.

And then there’s Mikan… Who I believe was done pretty dirty. Mikan had a clear character devolution. She goes from being a generally upbeat but still emotional girl, capable of sadness and anger and who doesn’t let herself get treated poorly, who generally wants to be useful, to contribute something, to be able to sacrifice things. The sacrifice part got a lot of focus throughout, and whenever she gets the chance, she throws herself at it. The best part is that Mikan doesn’t so much “make the choice” to sacrifice as she feels it’s the only thing she can do. There is no alternative to her because she doesn’t even think of it. It’s only when she’s confronted with Kazumi giving her a choice at the end: save Natsume or keep your alice, that her sacrifice feels like a personal choice rather than an instinctive action on her point. Honestly, Mikan has always been a character motivated to do good, so her arc is less about learning to do good and more about realizing that she does do good already. Additionally, she has the abandoned nullification alice arc, where Mikan feels like her alice is completely useless, like it doesn’t benefit anybody. But there is one thread that has tied to that throughout the manga, from the very first arc, and that’s Natsume. If Natsume was always meant to die, Mikan was always meant to save him. That’s clear from the start, when Narumi says “There might be someone out there in need of your alice” over a panel of Natsume. It was as much a part of implicit destiny as Natsume’s death, as the two of them falling in love. And that was specifically in terms of her silly nullification. Her nullification should have played a role here, and the fact that it didn’t annoys me. I don’t like Mikan having the stealing alice at all, we been knew. It completely dismisses the nullification alice from her storyline for no real narrative reason. Mikan having the stealing alice doesn’t really do much for her character. It acts as a plot lubricant, as a tie to her mom, but for Mikan’s existing arc--nothing.

There’s the fact, too, that Mikan saving Natsume would have communicated to him that his life means something, if only it means he lives. That he doesn’t have to give anything, as long as she can have him breathing. It would have meant so much for both of their character arcs. It would have been the pretty, perfect way to tie it all. I know there’s a lot of focus nowadays on “subversive” story telling, on setting up one story only to turn it over with some contrived plot twist for the sake of shocking the audience. “You thought this would happen, but you’re stupid for thinking so, because this is happening instead!” I think that kind of plot doesn’t act in contribution to character arcs, which is actually the only thing I care about. In a story like GA, character has been central, so it should continue to be. To me, Mikan being unable to save Natsume feels stupid and pointless, not in a “sometimes you fail” kinda way, because Mikan has already been taught that lesson. That would hit harder, maybe, if Natsume did die for real here, if he never came back. It would be sad, but it would be potent and meaningful. Instead, Natsume can be saved, just not by her. She is incapable of doing the one thing she was set up to do from the start. Instead, her role is stolen by Hotaru and the act of saving Natsume is no longer an act of love for him, but an act of love for Mikan, which is just insulting to all the characters involved.

Ultimately, how can this finale make you feel anything if the characters have been abandoned for the sake of a lazy “bookend” of Mikan chasing Hotaru once more? All the arcs were abandoned in favor of servicing a sloppy and rushed ending, where no character gets the attention they deserve. The finale just does what it can with the resolution it’s been presented with, and that’s why it sucks so bad. Three chapters isn’t enough to clean up the mess from the last twenty or so chapters, but it doesn’t even try.

I think the last chapter is the worst chapter in Gakuen Alice, hands down. But it’s only made possible by the subpar story told prior to it, specifically about Natsume’s death, which is the climax of the story. That climax is deceptive too, because you cry so much--about Natsume dying, Mikan leaving, Hotaru sacrificing herself, Ruka being left behind by everyone he knows--that you don’t even notice how bad the writing is! And all the stuff that’s making you cry is cheap character ploys to make you feel in the moment without giving you an actual conclusion. GA isn’t just open-ended because Hotaru is still missing; Mikan, Ruka, and Natsume are still missing character arc closure.

And considering how intelligent the story-telling has been up to now, it feels out of the blue and unfair to have such an awful ending.

What a disappointment.

Palate cleansing NatsuMikan to soothe your soul after you had to read all that nonsense and negativity. Sorry about all that.

Conclusion

Yeah, so like i said: a rant. Tomorrow I'll wrap up all of this with a little touch on Kageki, but there's not much to analyze there because NatsuMikan aren't focal.

I'm sorry if this was very negative. Like I'd mentioned a hundred times already, it's hard for me to be negative about GA. I don't like whining or complaining and staying butthurt about an ending that was published more than ten years ago feels unproductive. If anything, I take it as a learning moment. I use this to teach myself how vital endings are, and how not to do them. I also generally don't think of these chapters at all. I sometimes flat out forget the story ended this way until someone reminds me.

In my head, the character arcs are resolved and Hotaru never got lost to time-space because that's stupid. I have quite a few alternate endings in my head, but I prefer all of them to the one we got.

Thanks for reading, folks! Just one more time and then we can move on with our lives and go back to pretending this manga is perfect.

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #ga #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #natsume hyuuga #hyuuga natsume #my meta #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: mikan #nm: m song of the day is....#idk. lover by taylor swift or smth #tbh i dont think of these chapters with any song bc theyre not on my brain most of the time #but lover IS on our playlist... but for alternate better versions of the ending where natsume (and others) matters to mikan at all

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