#or i tell myself that but its also ok if i cant because sometimes people are too sick to do things and it fucking sucks but its okay too

[my-thirteenth-reason]

kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)

[snekdood]

ig my biggest issue with fandoms is the almost... false closeness thats there in them? ig since i was a kid and wasnt good at enforcing boundaries and was just excited to find ppl with the same interest I didn't really think about it but be real like, there was a vibe that it was "okay" and "fine" to expose a lot about ourselves to eachother that... i think if we knew eachother irl... we'd hafta be a lot closer than that to see or hear about that stuff...

[saguette]

What do you think Johnny's art looked like before he was stripped of his powers? This is something that bugs me a lot, and I'm curious about what you think.

ok i needed to draw a few shitty pictures to demonstrate cuz i wanted to talk about more than just his previous art but his art journey in general IDC if there's some canon tweet that proves something i said wrong or out of timeline these are my headcanons and projections so you either like it or not.. anyways I think his style pre-pre-JTHM (lets say 15-18) depicted many things, He was good at realism and fluctuated just fine between stylized art and big hefty works with a lot of detail. His stylized works looking similar to Jhonens and the whole 2000's artstyle cuz its fitting.

Of course he's like, a late teenager around this time so its GOOD but not perfect. If you pulled up a few of his drawings from this time he would probably be embarrassed by all the disproportionate limbs and goth girls he sketched and thought were badass. He probably has old sketches of friends in his style regardless if they asked to be drawn or not since his art was something he was proud of and people around him made him feel proud of. His old art also feels like it'd have anime elements unintentionally to add to that amateur artist swag. Johnny doesn't like anime copies but stuff he rips inspo from was anime inspired so it rubbed off on his work too. Moving onto PRE-JTHM (18-20) Is when his art started to get more serious and complex. In his happy era he took to drawing lovecraftian horror sometimes but it was always the secondary focus of any drawing.

Moving out and growing up was around the time his mental state started to worsen and he started using art to cope with emotions rather than just use it for fun, drawing complex monsters was a subconscious way to depict underlying mental illness that's out of his hands. He cant depict what he doesn't know he has, he can only scribble things that feel someone close to him because there is no physical appearance to emotions. He never liked his art around this time because it always felt unfinished or wrong or like it just didn't interpret what he wanted right. Overtime his art lost coherent appearance, quality, and meaning which made it feel worthless. It wouldn't be all that bad but it reached a point not even he knew what it was trying to be and it was frustrating. How can your own art not make sense to you? Its weird to let your hands go and do their own and you not recognize what they're trying to say. Which leads to SHORTLY BEFORE JTHM-and later.. Johnnys NEW preferred method for art currently is a little abstract, it became two extremes of the same thing; nothing. his art lost alot of what it used to be so he says he cant draw anymore.

Johnnys lovecraftian horror art slowly engulfed itself over time and always becomes an abstract mess. Its purposely made to be incomprehensible by having too much, regardless if its creation is poetic, an outside view not being able to tell what it is or how much work went into it is on purpose. its metaphorical or whatever.. Johnnys fucked up or something.. Whereas Noodleboy i imagine was made by him drawing a stickfigure one day to see if he can still "draw" and overtime gave him his features like angry eyes and that big hair, creating his own sort of vent sona to replace the sketchy abstract art he used before. Noodleboys chaoticness is too sporadic to rip any meaning off of, he also purposely represents nothing. His existence uses up paper the same way, just without all the extra effort. SORRRYYYY long tangent thats probably super messy i just winged it. but i cant help myself ive thought about this for a while ik i didnt strictly answer the question but i had so much more to say

[mehilaiselokuva]

Interviewing a beginner Finnish learner

A bit of a different post for today! I have been working with a friend who has started self-learning Finnish. Maybe you can gain some inpiration or tips from this interview we conducted! I have added extra commentary bits to some parts, marked with "C".

PREFACE

Interviewer: Me

Interviewee: @nuniante

Been learning Finnish for: half a month

Previous knowledge of the language: none

1. How long have you studied finnish actively?

A) ive been studying for just about half a month

2. What is your study routine like? do you study daily?

A) i try to write notes everyday about grammar concepts i think will help me advance at my current level (so far really basic stuff). i try but dont study daily. i also use duolingo to learn basic expressions/vocab and try to immerse myself in finnish through making some of the apps on my phone in finnish.

C) He tends to write at least one sentence in Finnish a day in our groupchat to the best of his abilities and will ask if he doesn't know a word. I feel like that's a very good way to learn when you are learning a specific dialect like he is.

3. What kinds of notes do you take? what do you write down? do you always write things down or just memorize things without writing?

A) my notes are basic. i write in the exceptions but i dont really go into detail sometimes. i might skip over something mentioned in the lesson or material im using if i think that a concept they bring up is inferrable. for vocab i try to memorize words i learn because i know so few that theres not much point to writing anything down. i think when ill reach a more advanced level ill start to write down more

C) I think that this approach is great, finding things you know you'll use and learning those first is useful!

4. What was your initial plan when studying? what things did you study in what order?

A) my initial plan for studying was trying to learn the basics and formal language to help me in learning colloquial speech, which i planned to learn from a friend (im talking about you juho). so far ive studied the basic cases + declensions, basic verbs conjugations, demonstratives and conjunctions and im rn learning about the numbers and the plural forms of nouns. i plan to take a break from grammar and learn vocab next.

C) Remember that all this is just half a month in! I think learning grammar before vocab is very good! You'll start picking up core words while doing that and of you perfect those grammar points early on, you will find speaking and writing easier fast.

5. What is your goal?

A) i dont really have a goal, but i think that if i could hold up a real conversation in finnish id feel successful.

6. What has been the most difficult + easiest?

A) i think the hardest thing so far has been consonant gradation or numbers. gradation can feel irrational, what with weird sound changes (eg. k > v) and also how you cant really predict what grade a noun/verb should be in depending off its form. easiest might be vowel harmony. you can decide harmony just by feeling what sounds better.

C) For once, a learner has not only learned vowel harmony but has no mistakes using it and will not forget that it's there. If you are more than half a year in learning and you still cannot remember to apply vowel harmony accordingly, you need to make it your priority ASAP.

7. How would you rate your current finnish level (speaking, writing, reading)

A) id say theyre all low. reading is probably my highest because i dont really consume finnish any other way. juho said my finnish accent is ok so i think that makes speech second. i havent listened to finnish yet so i cant even tell.

C) This person writes and speaks better Finnish than some people who have been learning the language for like three years! He is very careful with congruence which many learners don't consider very much. This means that he is eliminating most of the beginner mistakes very early on

8. Additional comments.

A) i like saying hyvää yötä

C) I like that our groupchat has started using Finnish and picking up words like "joo" and "sama asia" since we speak the language now. I consider it very admirable that this person has not only started writing Finnish early on, but he is learning kirjakieli, puhekieli AND a dialect all the same time!

Feel free to use this as motivation or inspiration! I recommend finding a learning style that fits you, so remember that what worked for this person might not work for you! I could make this a series honestly, are any of you interested in participating?

[shitsecurityguards]

ok i think "hate" is an understatement, detest is what i was trying to get at. I dont know if you have seen any other rebornica comics other than the uhh one where he screams or something because of pink wednesday, but I dont think he would be instantly comfortable from just a silly lil compliment (Uhm, from other rebornica comics that i have found, he seems to not only scream and hiss, but he also hides in a dark corner for the whole day and is needed to be held by 2 people so they can get him to go to work and stop whining abt the color blegghgh, he just seems too uncomfortable with it and idk if that can be fixed by something so simple). Im not saying ur interpretation is wrong, in fact, i love ur characterization of the characters (mostly), but this is just kinda like taking a big part of his character that makes him so silly. Why cant u just replace the color with,,, idk blue. (???? im sorry if i sound rude, im just too into keeping some recognizable character traits (which in this case is vincent detesting the color pink) :-[

okay a few points

1. there is art of him with pink on where he isnt freaking out (and yes according to the art archive that is vincent not vendetta). yeah in the second one hes not happy but hes not losing his mind

2. this is literally all the pink hes wearing

its an i <3 boobies bracelet which is a scene staple imo and very in character for him to wear and a belt with some pink on it?? its not entirely pink and also he owns other belts and bracelets lmao he doesnt wear this every single day

3. its my au hes gonna be a little different from the og if everything was exactly the same it wouldnt be my au. sorry if vincent hating wearing pink as a major color in his outfit but being alright with very small amounts on his accessories upsets you but i feel like thats not a huge thing to change about his character. again i myself dont like wearing a lot of pink especially bright pink it makes me very miserable but id be okay with small amounts if it fit my aesthetic because its not the main color. pink is obv a very big part of scene fashion so i think hed just have to take the L sometimes and wear it

4. him hating pink was not immediately fixed by the end of that comic he just was able to suck it up and wear it because of the compliment. also idk how to put this without it sounding silly but whatever he loves my s/i very much and what they say impacts him a lot compared to the other guards so if they tell him he looks cute in pink he will be too happy to be 100% a pissy asshole about it (his emotions are very extreme and switch up very quickly, but his adoration conquers all <3)

all this is to say no im not gonna change it i think he can bear to put on a pink i <3 boobies bracelet and pink and black checkered belt every so often

[beesmygod]

Ie a couple things you've been talking about and the patreon page, you're obviously like very fascinated by trying to explain and examine irrational actors and human behaviour, but whats your proccess on balancing that for character writing without going too far into "ghosts killed my grandma, ok!!!???" or cliche or leaving a bit of "they're just like that" to a character etc?

lmfao omg i love your example thank you so much for understanding what i'm trying to avoid. this is also a really good question that i wish i had a better answer for other than "we'll wait and see" because i think this is something i have to be bad at before i can get good at it. which is not ideal for storytelling lol. i also think its ok for some people to just be Like That sometimes, but i feel like the trick is picking and choosing which elements need explanation or HAVE interesting explanation and which elements don't.

that said i've been trying to set up character motivations for maxine, valdo, and lily since they end up being the three who set the entire plot in motion and i think their motivations matter the most. if i cant get an audience on board with what they're saying/doing then how am i gonna get the rest of the cast to nod along and agree.

i will say this, given where im going with trying to do character development, i really wrote myself an incredible gift with making jack a former journalist. he is a nosey little twerp by birth and loves knowing things hes not supposed to. this gives him ample motivation to snoop. which he will, this chapter and the next chapter now that maxine isn't around to tell him to shut up.

thankfully ghosts didnt kill maxine's grandma but if they did it would be like the fate of the cousin in "suddenly last summer".

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not telling someone i dont want to be their friend?

in my freshman year of high school, i became part of this friend group with like 12 other people. we had a very active groupchat, always sat together at lunch, etc. this girl, lets call her “J,” would sit with us, but she wasn’t part of the group. she knew two of the people in the friend group from middle school*, so we eventually added her to the gc. over the next couple months, everything was pretty alright. however, myself and a few others in the group slowly started talking to her less and less. there’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just one of those cases of “sometimes in real life there will be people you dont like that much for no reason.” the only real issue was that she’s very self-deprecating, and doesn’t make very many original comments/jokes outside of being self deprecating or complaining about her dad. (ex. one of my friends got the role he wanted for a play, and instead of congratulating him J went on to give a rant about how much she thinks she sucks at theater because she’s never gotten a lead role.) fast forward to now, we’re all sophomores. i never talked to her that much in the first place, but i feel kinda bad that now pretty much None of us talk to her. people don’t respond to her in the gc anymore because all she really does is make us feel bad for her or quote unfunny memes**. i dont think any of us Dislike her, but we dont really like her that much either. nobody has said anything to her because we know she’ll take it super personally. i genuinely want her to make friends who will like her, but she cant do that because shes trying to be part of our group instead. i feel really guilty, like we’re leading her on by not saying anything, but i also dont feel like i should be the one to tell her since i only talked to her for about a month. its really tough because nobody wants to admit that we’d rather she leave us alone, so nobody does anything. i think shes somewhat aware of how we feel, but hasnt left the gc or found different people to sit with at lunch. i really dont know what to do and i feel guilty. am i the asshole for not doing anything?

*she was only acquainted with the people from middle school, they werent close

**kind of related, my friends make fun of me a lot in a joking way (which im totally ok with bc i know them), but J tries to include herself in these jokes by making fun of me too (which makes me uncomfortable, i barely know her). its just kinda weird cos its like. shes not calling me stinky bc she’s joking with me shes doing it bc she wants the approval of the people in the group. its really impersonal

What are these acronyms?

[theflowergothic]

Heklo its Shrimp anon I know its been awhile and i am SORRY but i am BACK

So Lets talk about isolation, specifically the lack of other influences in Max's life, this is sometthing i realised lately that Max doesnt really have friends, You look at the people he interacts with and its like, his team, the redline people, his family, Kelly's family and other drivers

Now, on their own thats fine, but if you only interact with those people, and from what i can tell, only people like that for AWHILE, Jos seemed to keep him busy, and busy=Isolated from people his age and with people who could and WOULD intervene with the very clear abuse that was going on, it does seem like he missed a lot of school as a kid and Teachers are usually the people who step in in these types of situations (them being the first to notice my self harm and suicidal tendencies)

Anyways, my point sort of is that Max has been surrounded by people who either CANT, or WONT intervene for various reasons I will explain later, and because he's been SO ISOLATED for SO LONG, he wont be the one to break out of it and get any kind of positive influence

Ok let me break down the many people in his life and the various reasons that they wont say anything, let me prefice by saying that there are some people in this who i do not blame for not doing anything and others that i DEFINITELY do,

HIS TEAM: Alright, this one's a biggie, for the people higher up in the team, Christain/Helmut etc, I do think theres a bit of keeping max Obidient, if he is used to this sort of toxic behavior and doesn't get OUT of it, they can keep using this sort of toxic behavior and the cycle repeats,

for people lower in the team, Mechanics etc, i do think its a bit about their job, a lot of h to em probably enjoy or at least appreciate what they do and with how toxic redbull is, they probably dont want to rock the boat and risk their careers, I blame them a bit but not that much

REDLINE PEOPLE: Honestly I dont trust them, yall heard the Abuse jokes they make so Casually and sometimes I wonder if they see Max as a cash cow and a way to get them more money and exposure, NOW i do jot know ANY of the redline lore so if someone could explain that would be very helpful

HIS FAMILY: Not a lot to say on this, Jos is an asshole and an abuser but Max is clearly Very, very codependent on him, which is one of the reasons that i think Sophie and Victoria wont really say anything, Max will go with his dad in the inevitable split and fallout that happens, Also Max most likely won't trust Sophie because, AND IM NOT CALLING HER A BAD PERSON FOR THIS, she did kind of abandon him, obviously she was in an incredibly hard position and noone can know what thats like unless we experience it for ourselfves but I would bet that Max has Abandonment issues from that

KELLYS FAMILY: Not even gonna say anyhting, yall know

And finally, THE OTHER DRIVERS: Ok first of all, most professional sports involve some sort of toxic relationships, hero worship and money and yadda yadda yadda, for some of these people tthis might just seem normal. some of them are obviously not that close to him as to notice anything amiss, Also i do think it has something to do with saving their reputation, say what you will about Kelly but she has her Cult and i think that the drivers who KNOW whats happening are also aware of the fact

Honestly i just feel so bad for Max, i sincerely hope that he gets out of this but as i dive more into it it just kind of seems hopeless, he seems to have resigned himself to it, Sometimes i wonder if he's depressed or something, i know that if i was in a situation like that i would have killed myself

I mean, if he does try i cant say i would be surprised

OK THAT GOT LONNNNGGGGG SOORYYY

love youuu- Shrimp

Welcome back, shrimp anon!

Thanks for this very detailed (and probably spot-on) look at Max and the dynamics of those around him!

Can... can I reference this in the exposé? DM me.

[kroosluvr]

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

[the-togepi-man]

Sometimes I read your posts and they really resonate with me.

Generally, I describe myself as submissive in bed, but I hate to call myself strictly a bottom, because I genuinely love to top guys, just in a “service top” sense. But SO many guys think “submissive = bottom” or “top = dom.” No, you can absolutely make me yours while you make me plow you into the sunset, even with your dick locked for Locktober; it’s just a matter of attitude and perspective. But when I try to tell that to guys, you’d think I was trying to explain postgraduate modernist philosophy.

Haha yeah man. Hope yall dont mind me rambling here but I am really trying to figure out my relationship with sex more. Getting this out of the way- Sean and I don't sleep together very often which is SUPER DUPER ok. If you were to say a relationship cant be romantic, end game, and fulfilling without sex then I would fight you on the spot. I like sex. Love it even. Before I was out, people made fun of me for being a bottom because I was emotional and anxious (still am). In my first relationship, I was exclusively a top- because mainly we never did bottoming right and it always really hurt and I always really hated it. After we broke up I thought nobody would love me if I didn't learn how to bottom. I did both with whatever partners till I met Sean. After Sean and I opened things up- I met a FWB who I got to explore top and bottom with. And that was the best I had in a while. Mainly because we got to be friends, and I was able to feel more comfortable. I haven't been able to find a consistent person who I feel really comfortable doing things with. I don't have to be in love, I just need someone I can laugh and feel comfortable with all while learning what I like. All of this just to say, it bothers me when people say "well you don't like xyz" or "you're in to xyz" like no I need more time to explore and find someone to explore with. I thought I was only a bottom and told I was a bottom because of my personality. People make fun of me because in theory I'm a "timid top" (which is a funny nickname my friends have given me which is ok!!) - but I also want people to know I can take on personalities in bed depending on who I am with and what they want. I know I am a people pleaser, and I know that makes ME happy But I hate the fact the dynamics fall to "Tops are mean and in charge" and "Bottoms are bratty and submissive."

Like the last guy I slept with wanted me to call him sir, and thats fine, so after he said "wow you really liked calling me sir, huh?" and I said "I like being called Sir too." and he goes "haha sure you do, I think I'm the sir." Plus I am still working on getting over someone- its a long process for me- so its just a tiring process haha So I dunno. I'll probably stay on the apps a little here and there, still try and get my rocks off, still try and find maybe someone who fits in well with Sean and I (which sadly I thought I had haha) - but truly it would just be nice to have a FWB who knows roles can be diverse in bed and want to play around with that

[sneezemutual]

boyfriend (and myself) obs from earlier today because its been a while!

job obs this time around!! my boyfriend and i are in university, but we also work a part-time job together. (a little corny, i know that, but we happen to like being around each other, ok?)

just in case you missed my lore post and were curious for reasons, he is studying nursing and i am studying mortuary science and biochemistry; we are both part-time managers at the cinemas together as well

now, to the good stuff…

he and another one of our coworkers were making pizzas and i was a few feet away at the air fryer when i heard him ask the coworker, “can you hold this for a sec?” as he pushed the ladle he was using towards him. he looked a tad confused and went “hm?” to which my boyfriend tells him, “i have to sneeze.”

naturally, now, im tuned in all the way

he typically isnt a loud sneezer so i was kind of (pleasantly) surprised when i clearly heard him gasp before he sneezed from like six feet away

he has what i would consider a pretty cute sneeze, always with the chiew! or shiew! at the end but this time around, it was reminiscent of a cough-ish-sounding sneeze? but not to the point where it was not attractive (to me) or that it didnt sound like a sneeze or anything; it was just harsh and sounded like one syllable, instead of soft and more drawn out like his sneezes usually are

if i had to try to spell it, it would be something like, “ahihSHH!” one of those sneezes where you can just hear it fucking hurt the persons throat

the coworker that was holding the ladle immediately started laughing and said, “jesus christ, dude!” so, he was definitely expecting a smaller sneeze too. me and two other workers in the kitchen yelled bless you, he yelled back thank you and glared at our coworker, pretending he was mad at him for laughing

i have never heard him sneeze like that before, so i am guessing some ingredient in the kitchen got to him? and i cant think of the last time that i heard him announce his sneezes either, he does it sometimes (but its typically when there is a lot of other people around, for some reason)

alright alright, now its my turn

not as intricate or entertaining but it happened

a customer mustve had cat hair on their clothes (which is a fairly common experience) and i was sneezing and my makeup was running comically for like an hour after (already aforementioned in posts earlier today) 😭

i sneezed like 30 times spaced out across the hour (which is a lot for me sneezing wise because i didnt take any allergy medication 😭 i usually do but i dont like to take it then drive so i occasionally forget. i took some after this lol)

my boyfriend blessed me or put his hand on my back every time he was around along with another friend/coworker of ours who gets a kick out of my sneezing fits. lots of things make me sneeze so everyone is used to it happening by now and theyre allowed to make fun of me a little

snzfucker without mental block seems like it should be an oxymoron, but i have no problem sneezing in public. im so used to it that even with the fetish, its never made me too uncomfortable. unless its like a situation that anyone would be uncomfortable sneezing in (quiet room, important conservation etc)

[yoonsdoll]

hi im bored and this is my professional opinion if seventeen r kitty or puppy coded and why because this is very important to me !!!!!!!!!

seungcheol : kitty coded

ok this was actually a really hard choice because he actually does have both kitty and puppy features but ultimately i decided kitty because hes so persian cat.

LOOK AT HIM POUTING.

but laura!!! he has a dog!!! YES I KNOW OKAY!! i LOVE kkuma. and as much as he wants to be a dog dad hes just a cat taking care of a dog beeeee so fr!!!!!

ok in conclusion realistically he can be both but like.. look at these photos and try spot the difference

cheol get well soon i miss u .

if u disagree then u just dont get the vision!

jeonghan : kitty coded

i have previously stated how he is a ragdoll cat. and yes, he really is.

hes so mischievous in like the best way ever, tell me a kitty wouldn't do that. U CANT!!!!

as a cat owner myself.. im just correct.

he 100% knows how to get someone to give him what he wants (treats) and he sits there all day looking fabulous and getting attention for being so cute.

also jeonghan get well soon im losing hair the longer ur gone.

anyway pls agree ive never been so confident in an answer in my life. dont ruin this

joshua : puppy coded

the more i look at shua smiling the more he reminds me of a cute puppy.

pls this man has me breaking down hes literally so cute.

i have no reason apart from the fact im so very sure he would be a puppy. and also hes an extrovert which automatically strikes me as a dog!!!

he looks like a fancy cat on a lot of pictures but dont let him gaslight u.

he told me himself hes a smiley shiba inu.

im a strong believer in puppy shua.

junhui : kitty coded

i feel like this is a very obvious answer but still

0% puppy in him. its all a very feral cat.

when i look at jun i think of a british shorthair kitty. a baby one in specific.

especially because hes playful as hell but also has his moments when he just prefers to be quiet and listen to the others.

he alternatively could just be a white and black cat.. it did occur to me while making this. however i still feel like a british shorthair is more suitable.

jun is so cat coded and even he knows it!

hoshi : kitty coded ?????

okay see my issue is that yes.. tigers are in the cat family. but do u not also ever look at hoshi playing around w the members and think that he could be a puppy if he wasnt so obsessed w tigers..

anyhow, he is kitty coded for the most part I GUESS.

sometimes he really does remind me of a hamster more than anything though, but again this isnt the point of this post.

ill give him this win and say he is a toyger cat.

HE LITERALLY LOOKS SO HAMSTER IN THE FIRST PIC ITS BUGGING ME.

look at him tryna convince everyone in that 2nd pic.. ok wtv he convinced me

wonwoo : kitty coded

so very calm, knows what his boundaries are, likes playing around once in a while.

wonwoo is THE black cat. one of those that are really well taken care of with short yet super soft fur.

same as jun.. u will never find any puppy energy in this man.

he has a dog too, but hes the most cat coded person u will ever see. this is why my cheol point was also correct.

im giggling those photos r so perfect. 3 wonwoos ^^^^^^

bye u legit cant even argue with this one if u wanted to

woozi : kitty coded

SHUT UP U KNOW IM RIGHTTTT!!

WOOZI IS SO KITTY I DONT CARE. I DONT EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN.

just as i know wonus a black cat, i know ujis a white cat.

hes so elegant yet so fun and so cute pls someone tie me down

the fact i already knew what photos im gonna use says enough.

i would also like to say that hes also very bear coded. like if hes not a cat hes a bear.

dokyeom : puppy coded

everyone cheered!!!!

dk has always been very puppy to me, even in interviews where hes speaking to people he doesnt know (which makes it difficult for him (and hoshi)), hes ALWAYS trying his best.

hes so cute!??!?!?! like, im really not good with dog breeds AT ALL, but he clearly is a pomeranian.

is he a grown 5'10 man? yes. is he also a very cute puppy breed? also yes. why? it just makes so much sense.

the 2 glasses photos were a coincidence but they somehow make him look even more puppy coded.

him in curly hair.. dude it doesnt get any better than that!!!

mingyu : puppy coded

DUH!!!! hes the puppiest out of all puppy in seventeen

surprisingly, i always see everyone call him a golden retriever which, personality wise I SO AGREE!!! but something itches my brain when hes compared to a husky. IT MAKES SM MORE SENSE NO??

i lied btw ive never seen anyone compare him to a husky this is me trying to drop my opinion without getting dragged.

theres not much else to say apart from that his emoji rep is litch a puppy so u cant deny it!

no matter what breed u wanna compare him to, itll still always be a dog

i truly wish i could see him as a cat but its just not right!

minghao : kitty coded

kitty coded through and through!!!!

i dont think i cld ever compare hao to a puppy?? his vibes r so cat.

SIAMESE CAT** let me say. dont u agree!!

hes so sassy and i feel like that rlly influences my opinion but also when have u ever looked at minghao and thought he was puppy coded. literally NEVER. i cant name u one time.

give him blue contacts and hes that cat in the middle (pls dont)

i rest my case thank yew!

seungkwan : BOTH?!

seungkwans a really difficult one for me. because he quite literally is both.

he has moments when hes so puppy coded then the next second hes the most kitty coded man ever.

same in selcas.. i cant even decide thru them!!!

if i really had to pick, id lean towards a cat, but again.. its too hard to decide.

therefore, he would be an orange kitty or a samoyed dog! :3

im sorry for cheating my way out of this one but i srsly cant decide.

vernon : kitty coded

chillest cat ever trust me.

vernon said himself he really likes cats and that made this even easier than it was before cause it just makes sm sense!

im aware vernon likes dogs too but him liking cats is so ?? vernon ??????

i always go back to that photo of him holding the baby kitty. hes such a cat person. literally look up vernon being a cat person on twt and theres a whole thread proving it!

this is why vernon is a siberian cat! he looks like it sm and he is chill like that ong

vernon and kitties give me life

dino : puppy coded

surprisingly i originally wanted to say kitty coded but after a think abt it.. hes clearly puppy coded

a very loved puppy by his 12 older brothers lolol

he always loves the attention and enjoys smiling and making others laugh a lot too..

do u guys remember that puppy interview? yeah.

his light brown hair was the prime border collie days!

i found that middle photo and immediately thought dino.

ok i originally didnt even mean to assign them all to breeds or wtv but it just happened... thank u for reading this is what happens when i get too bored!!! anyway i think i did pretty well so!

[st4rshipr4nger]

OML A TUA SHIFTER??? TELL ME EVERYTHING ABT YOUR DR RN 👹 (if thats ok w u 🥰)

EEEEEE HIIIIII YES YES YES I MOST DEFINITELY WILL

okay so im the handlers daughter (she adopts me she is NOT my birth mother) and then she adopts lila but were the same age so anyway she like raises us and stuff cause shes mother and so she trains us and shit like she does in the show with lila and also me and lila kind of have the same powers ish because okay idk if youre familiar with xmen but i like have rogues powers so like power absorption and taking peoples energy and stuff so like if i touch someone skin to skin ill take their powers if they have any and their energy and i kind of get their memories too, and so she makes me wear these gloves because one time i accidentally touched her when i was a baby and took some of her energy and she almost passed out or something, anyways being the handlers daughter obviously comes with trauma so when im like ten im like mom i dont like this i dont wanna do this anymore and shes like well thats too damn bad and i tell lila im running away but we make a plan to like meet up in the future so i run and shit one night and i find the umbrella academy a few days after and Pogo answers the door and i tell him about my powers because ive seen the hargreeves on television and on billboards and im like can i just like stay here for a little while and hes like yes ofcourse but i need to talk to sir reginald and hes like wow youre weird and then i kind of become like his labrat because he wants to see exactly how my powers work but hes also like youre fucking dangerous, so he gets this serum that makes my powers go away for a limited amount of time and i have to get injected with it every morning but i meet the hargreeves and we all get along pretty quickly and they like accept me into the family and oh my god GRACE :(((( i love her so much me and ben obviously have like a LITTLE thing but none of us is gonna admit it until like later but yeah reg doesnt trust me going on missions at first but he lets me go on one which kind of ends bad so he doesnt let me go on anymore and i have to stay on the sidelines with viktor ALSO me klaus ben diego and vik are super close i get closer with everyone else too but like specifically them so like yeah!! me and ben kiss literally like three days before he yk and then i want to kms !!! but its fine he watches me as a ghost for the next 18 years!!!! but yeah its obviously hard for all of us to take and stuff

ANYWAYS!!!

so when were all older we obviously go our seperate ways but i kind of stay in touch with diego klaus and viktor (allison never answers her damn phone and luthers on the moon) i read viktors book and i thought it was fine like i dont have an issue with it he was speaking facts that nobody else in the house wanted to admit and we were pretty much treated the same also after bens death i kind of like started doing drugs with klaus again because the serums were also just drugs like be fucking fr anyways klaus also never tells me that ben is looking over us and he feels bad about it but like klaus and i are really similar [in my dr everyones like oh hes just klaus but in another body] so im not like yk i cant like stay mad but trust in my dr i will be sorry buddy anyways i still talk to diego cause me and him are also bestfriends and i try to send messages up to the moon sometimes to luther cause he and diego were literally like i actually felt like family around them theyre like my brothers but obviously wtv

thats like kind of a backstory thing i left some things out but i love oversharing about some of the things in my drs its fun

let me know if you wanna hear more cause like eeeeeeeee

also im scripting that like i dont know klaus has ben on his shoulder and that stuff cause i like to make myself suffer a little bit

[nerves-nebula]

I know this might be kinda stupid but. do you have any music recs. specifically of the child abuse variety because I'd be very interested in that.

*sweats* ok so here's the thing- I have a playlist called "Abuse" and its full of music that is either explicitly about abuse, related to abuse thematically, or just has Abuse Vibes to me (some of which is likely inexplicable to other people)

im also kind of self conscious about my taste in music, cause sometimes it's like. i dunno. the steven universe soundtrack or a fnaf song i really like. and thats CRINGE! and really any genre of song can be about Child Abuse so it's like. idk if you'll like any of the things i recommend.

THAT BEING SAID, here's a selection i guess!! because I'm flattered you would even ask haha. a lot of these are pretty well known already tho so idk how helpful this will be. anyway this got hella long so. under the cut!

songs explicitly about or including themes of child abuse/having shit parents/having familial issues:

Guiltless by Dodie

Black by Okkervil River (narrative about a guys girlfriend telling him about her dad sexually abusing her. one of, if not the first, song i ever heard about CSA and it holds a special place in my heart)

The Mute by Radical Face

Ripple Effect by Scott Helman (kinda more about generational trauma & healing if im honest. i dont listen to it as much as the others on this list)

Poplar St by Glass Animals

Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood

Twin Sized Mattress by The Front Bottoms (classic i know)

The Family Jewels by Marina and the diamonds

Family Line by Conan Gray

Christmas Kids by ROAR (ok technically not about the kids but i find the subtext of how the kids are used in this abusive relationship horrific. also, it reminds me of my parents)

Drift Away - Steven Universe (OK I KNOW ITS NOT TECHNICALLY ABOUT THAT BUT TO ME IT'S ABOUT MY MOM. IT TRACKS TOO EXACTLY TO NOT INCLUDE HERE)

Other Abuse songs:

labour by Paris Paloma

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence (my ex wife says i listen to this song to go joker mode and i hate that because i know she means Straight Joker and not Camp Joker but i do really like the song)

I'm your puppet by Gregory And The Hawk

Eric by Mitski (REAL GOOD)

Believe Me by James and the Shame (more about spiritual abuse sort of)

Girl Anachronism by The Dresden Dolls

Thermodynamic Lawyer esq GFD by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross (less about abuse and more about, like, a healing relationship. still i think you can easily read into the alluded past abuse or sexual issues going here)

Fuck About It by Waterparks

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths (this is just such an abused person song)

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence (my ex wife says i listen to this song to go joker mode and i hate that because i know she means Straight Joker and not Camp Joker but i do really like the song)

Sex With A Ghost by Teddy Hyde

I Cant Handle Change by ROAR (obviously)

rotting by vivivivivi

rook by sardonica

My favorite "Abuse Vibe" songs (NOTE: some of these songs might be about abuse or toxic relationships but um. im not very smart or good at sorting so. they ended up here):

Take a Slice by Glass Animals (PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS ONE FUCK THE REST OF THIS LIST EXCEPT ANIMALS I LOVE THOSE TWO)

Animals by Stomach Book (SEE ABOVE)

Youth by Daughter

Duck Or Ape by ROAR

Million Dollar Gold Digger (idk what it is about this remix im not even a huge fan of either of the songs its mixing. this is the VIBES part of the rec list i don't have to explain myself)

I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young

Gooey by Glass Animals

Breaking Down by Florence & The Machine

Moby Dick by Jakey

Aurora Borealis by Lemon Demon (hard to justify but this song just brings such vivid "abused kid failing to be normal while hanging out with someone and further isolating themself" vibe. yes im projecting. leave me alone)

The Dismemberment Song by Blue Kid (sometimes you just wanna kill your parents)

I'M GONNA WIN by Rob Cantor (this one just feels like anger and bitterness and being suspicious of anyone who tries to help you. I listen to it when im fucking going through it. its also a bop but you prolly already know that, i think it's pretty popular? idk)

It's Alright by Mother Mother (stereotypical i know)

South Dakota by Jakey (honestly i dunno. i dont even know where south dakota is)

My Blood by Twenty One Pilots (for all you sibling havers out there)

My Play by AJR (my parents arent divorced but man i wish they were. Also, this just brings up very vivid memories for me trying to show my parents things and it is fucking crushing haha)

Best Of You by Foo Fighters (idk just more shit that reminds me of my parents)

The Woods by San Fermin (this one is just very "I should have died as a child"-core to me)

JUVY ft. Julia Bard by Nnamdi Ogbonnaya (this guy is weird and i didnt like his stuff at first but then... i came back... and now he holds a place in my heart)

Grape Gil by Nnamdi Ogbonaya (i think this is my favorite song of his. I nearly made an owl house animatic to it)

Obsession by OK GO

Better Than Me by The Brobecks

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS by Tyler The Creator

Dumb Dumb by Mazie (honestly this one just reminds me of thinking "i hate it here everyone is so dumb" and then maladaptive daydreaming for hours to escape the situation hah)

Stone Wall, Stone Fence by Gregory And The Hawk

Never Wanna Fall in Love With U by Nelward

Another New World by Punch Brothers (this one is such an explicit and straightforward narrative i really can't explain it other than like. the emotions.)

Julep by Punch Brothers (once again, the emotions)

Always Sayin' by The Littles Man Band

A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH by Waterparks

Consequences by Lovejoy

Scum by Lovejoy

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SECRETS by lil boodang (another hard to justify one. idk. it just feels like it ok. sue me)

anyway i'm sure there's more but thats just a quick selection from my Abuse playlist. and by quick i mean you better appreciate this cuz i put way more effort into this than i needed to.

[twistedastrology]

🪐 my take on the outer planets 🪐

---------------------------------------------------

saturn is constantly given a bad rap just because it does its job- saturn's placement in your chart isn't always a bad thing- it can signify difficulties in that area of your life, yes, but it can also tell you what you have unwavering resolve in (especially if you're saturn ruled or saturn is positively aspected)

for example, my saturn is in my 1st house in leo (cancer rising) and I've seen people say that saturn in the 1st house can indicate a fear of growing old or being lonely, whatever- my personal experience with this placement is, ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you i am fucking petrified of losing myself- losing my mind, losing who i am and dying early are my worst fears (dreams in which im dying are NOT the best ive ever had 😮‍💨)

but as a result of this, i know myself SO well. i do think saturn in the 1st house can indicate issues with finding yourself IF it's afflicted, which mine isn't (thank god 💔💔💔)

im also very scared of growing out of touch with the world around me- dont get me wrong, i love being a hermit, but if im ever that old man that can't understand trends or whatever and is overly cynical of younger generations... dawg- take me the fuck out 😕

uranus i LOOOOVEEEEE and i think it stands for so much more than just rebellion- my uranus has a LOT of power in my chart (so does my neptune but they're in mutual reception 😮‍💨) because my moon is cusped (1° pisces, but i feel both pisces and aquarius influence 💔), and it and my mercury im pretty sure are why i think backwards as fuck- (fun fact, my mercury is FIRMLY direct but it likes to act like it's in retrograde 💔💔💔💔)

but!! more interestingly, i have a very specific mental process where whenever im goin thru it, i cant stay goin thru it for a while- if my brain is fucked up for a little too long and i start getting pissed about it, my uranus takes over and legitimately propels me through the pain in almost an instant. i could be going through something for weeks and once i start getting pissed about it or legitimately bored of it, the next day it's like nothing ever happened BUT i still learned from it

ofc I have to do something to trigger that effect, which is where my mars in cancer comes in and i do a workout to tap into the physical catharsis and BOOM, go to bed and wake up the next day a new man 🙏🙏🙏 god bless 🙏🙏🙏

neptune Ok i am not entirely sure what made whoever said neptune is the higher octave of venus think that but I've never been able to see it. this might be controversial as hell but neptune is the higher octave of the moon to me and jupiter is the higher octave of venus. THAT BEING SAID-

neptune is an absolutely fascinating planet to me lately and im not sure why- i do have a couple transit aspects with it right now but ive wanted to write about it literally all day now- U KNOW i might love it so much bc it's in my 8th house actually that would make sense- ANYWAY-

neptune to me is the source of all the visions from god i get, especially my creative ones- (source: it came to me in a vision from god.) the moon is a very creative placement in my opinion (i have a WILDLY different idea of the moon that i can go over in another post), so neptune follows a similar current, but neptune is higher creativity, higher emotion, etc- it's the planet of spirituality and the absolute depths of our subconscious, like to the point of past lives, that's the kinda shit neptune fucks with

but because it's also the higher octave of the moon, to me it can absolutely represent addictions and vices, everything garbage- personally, my neptune isn't very afflicted at all but i also have a major lack of earth in my chart so i Do find myself experiencing classic neptune-based paranoia sometimes- fuck dude i went neurotic for a week at one point, that was some serious neptune delusion- But my uranus/saturn pulled me back from it, because like i said, saturn makes me petrified of losing myself, so those two joined forces like "ya this shit ain't cool actually take it out back and shoot it"

i might make a post on specifically neptune stuff soon and/or right after this bc the hyperfixation is hyperfixating 💔💔

pluto i FUCK with because it's such a soul searchy planet (my 8th house is very active so ofc i fuck with pluto) in the darkest ways and i love that shit- jonathan davis has his pluto in a fucking mastery degree (29° virgo) and i am to this day like 😦 over it- and it makes SO much sense for him to have PLUTO of all planets in a mastery degree- and i have mine in 26° sag so like im not that far behind... 💔

but dude that's mastery of some SERIOUS transformative powers- that's mastery of the wildly darker shit in life and that is so fucking tight to me- i value that kinda stuff more than anything dude- probably why korn is my fav band (been listening to them as i write this 😭😭)

one thing abt pluto that i DONT agree with tho, and this is more of a scorpio thing BUT i know everyone loves to say scorpios are the sexy signs but dawg... it's cancers... i swear 2 god it's cancers- i will write an entire fucking post on cancers and why i HATE everyone's interpretations of them bc everyone's like "cnanncers are cRYBbaueiis and tHyeyre the most emOtIknal siGnsns 💔💔💔" Bro. Bro. Bro dont do me like that for the love of god. that shit made me hate my rising sign for SO long and also not relate to it!!!! then i started doin my own research and found out "Oh fuck nvm im totally a cancer"

BUT if you look at pluto like the actual God- nowhere in his mythology (that I read anyway- i could be wrong i dont wanna act like i know everything) does it say anything abt him ruling over sex or sumn like that- but everyone says pluto rules over sex!!!!!! Where!!!!!!!!!!! dawg they said he was a god of abundance bc he ruled over the underworld and gems and stuff were found underground 😭😭😭

i do think pluto fucks with taboo shit though But back in the ye olden days when astrology was being developed, sex was not taboo at all, that's a new development that i think uranus fucks with more because uranus is a very future focused planet in my humble opinion

i could definitely keep writing but i think this is already a novel SO- to specify tho, this is all my opinion of the planets, ive read PLEEEEEENTY of books and stuff so by no means do i not know how this shit works, but my uranus makes me rip everything apart and make my own take so 💔

[rachelcommitscrimes]

im gonna rant abt how much i hate the ghost eyes fandom (as a former fan) bc im just kinda mad rn

so uhh yeah major TW for s3lf h4rm, romanticizing mental illness, su1c1de, sadomasochism, infantilization, and rlly just anything related to that

(also sorry if this looks weird idk how to separate stuff on tumblr)

also DO NOT harass the creator or anyone mentioned here, you’re no better than them if you do that

——————————————————————————

ok so i read ghost eyes like 2 years ago but i stopped reading about the point where they were on that field trip. i still think it’s a nice comic and i’m sure the author is a cool person, also the art style is awesome. but the fandom is so fucking gross that i’m surprised more people haven’t talked about it. 

for some backstory on this, i used have REALLY bad depression and was cutting myself regularly (i’m much better now, i have medication, therapy, and i’m almost a year clean) i also stopped reading due to the comic severely damaging my mental health and i’m very glad i did. i was younger and immature and thought i could handle such content. this led to me becoming extremely obsessed with the comic to an unhealthy level, and getting severely attached to one of the characters (rudy) because i could relate to him at that time. i seriously thought that i WAS him sometimes.

i understand now that i should NOT have ignored the label and what i did was definitely wrong and if the creator is reading this i deeply apologize. i’m in a much better place now and i’m just glad that i was able to get the help i needed.

ok now to the angry part

if you don’t know what ghost eyes is, it’s a webcomic about a severely traumatized boy attending school for the first time and meeting a bunch of other severely traumatized kids. this comic has a crap ton of triggering/sensitive/disturbing topics (which is not a bad thing as long as you do it right) and like i said before, the creator has kindly put a warning before the comic starts stating that you SHOULD NOT romanticize/idolize/sexualize/kin any of the characters, do not read unless you can handle such topics, and so forth. now i know i should have definitely put the comic down before and not gotten obsessed over it, but i knew damn well enough that it was messed up to romanticize/sexualize any of the characters/things that happened in the book.

there are several scenes in which a character is self harming or harming someone else, and the comments will say shit like “nooo my poor bean” “awww baby don’t do that” or my personal favorite “protect the smol bean.” first of all, the characters are like 16-17, second of all, i cannot even tell you how fucked up it is that people see someone ruining their lives and putting themselves in danger and think it’s “cute” or “anxiety smol bean uwu” THERES LITERALLY A SCENE WHERE SOMEONE IS GETTING STABBED AND PPL ARE DRAWING THIS MF IN A MAID DRESS.

another reason i despise these fans is that they see an abusive relationship and start making ships/kinning them. as someone who has gone through pretty much everything rudy has gone through, i cant tell you how irritating it is to see people shipping him with his abuser or calling him a “cutie patootie masochist boi uwu” cause lemme tell you what-it doesnt feel good to have to put your health in danger and ruin your relationships with others just so you can get off somehow. ITS NOT FUN. the whole point of rudy’s character is to not romanticize someones fucked up mental health.

i could spend hours talking about this group of immature brats, but i’m tired and it’s a school night and i have a test tomorrow. i might add on if i feel like i need to but overall i really hope those immature fans grow up and realize their mistakes like i did, or get the help they need.