#or hurting in the way i have | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

s0urte3th · 1 month ago

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i do hate being vulnerable though

#especially with therapists. even though shes kind and thoughtful #i remember expressing how i didnt tell my parents things because i didnt want them hurting #or hurting in the way i have #remember her looking at me. not in a pity way but in a ‘im about to cry’ way #she expressed she understood. that she was a SA victim and had the same mindset #she told me she got teary eyed at what i said and explained support in a good way. in a way that helped me realize a bit that my issues like #arent a burden #i hope i never end up crying in therapy #not because i dont want to seem weak. maybe its because i dont like being vulnerable #i dont know

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virtualplushy · 2 years ago

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one important thing that Must be understood about interpersonal relationships is that you have to stop interacting with people who love you like they’re one slip-up away from leaving you. you have to trust that the ppl you love mean what they say. you have to believe that when they say “this hurt my feelings,” that they’re also saying, “can you please love me this other way next time?” and you have to wrap your head around the fact that even if you don’t understand Why someone loves you, you can accept that that they do. true, honest, & open love does not function like hp in a video game !!!!!!

#🍜#wish i could remember this more. trying to rmr that when ppl are honest w ways they are hurt it’s bc they love me enough to be honest ab it #i am not perfect. but i can do my best to love people well and to apologize when i mess up #i do not have to punish myself! i can apologize and do better in the future #the love i feel increases when people tell me how to love them. the love i feel increases when people tell me how to love them. the love i-#sueñito tag #🦠

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chloesimaginationthings · 5 months ago

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The death of Vanessa and the birth of Vanny in FNAF

(Inspired by this art by Yuto Sano)

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf vanny #fnaf vanessa #glitchtrap #security breach #fnaf help wanted #fnaf fanart #I HAD to redraw these panels with Vanessa/Vanny..#it fit her vibe way too well not to #I’ll always stand by Vanessa as a character #her story is so good and she’s so interesting #having the protagonist of one of your games becomes the villain in the next PEAK honestly #the general idea here for this comic is when Vanessa lost herself and when Glitchtrap took hold #and the vanny persona was made and fully realized #first panel having Vanessa in fear and wounded #to the second panel with Vanny overjoyed and has hurt someone else #I HAD a lot of fun drawing this out #the detail and expressions were especially fun #idk if I’ll do something like this comic again #but if folks like this one I might do more similar to this #it’s fun to just draw out strong emotions in a character #and getting a full story from that #Love Vanessa/Vanny dearly 💜🐇#the girl to ever do it

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giantkillerjack · 1 year ago

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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tea-n-ink · 6 months ago

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When the final curtains falls, face the wrath of the understudy

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago

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Council of lovefools.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.

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clouvu · 7 months ago

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Mother and Father 🫶

#genshin impact #arlecchino #peruere #clervie #arlevie #CANON CANT HURT ME IF IM DELUSIONAL ENOUGH!!!!#I feel like im a peasant who was just struck with the bubonic plague #they're rotting my brain so fucking bad ive yet to have a moment of peace since the animated short dropped #head in hands shaking crying throwing up because Clervie would've been a wonderful mother to the hoth children #the way she would've given them all the genuine affection and care she never received from her own mother #Not to mention she wouldve had arle's curse in check and softened her out around the edges for the children as well

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lostlegendaerie · 1 year ago

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there's something deeply gutting about being a writer right now. watching studio execs brag about starving people like you out of your very house just to not pay you anything above the pennies you currently make. watching some people cheer over AO3 being targeted for a DDOS attack. the complete lack of profitability of writing commissions or writing in general in transformative spaces, especially in contrast to fanart. the pivot of so many social media platforms to be video and image based near-exclusively.

I don't know. it just makes me sad to know that the hobby that kept me alive while growing up homeschooled with dial-up internet and local antenna TV... is only ever gonna be a side job with minimal engagement. I know this site is good about supporting libraries and the concept of books but, do me a favor? Reach out to a writer friend you know. Leave a comment on your last five read stories on your favorite website.

Tell us you care.

#maybe that's why I've been so stalled on my novel #I keep trying to convince myself there's a POINT to it #but I look at how BRUTAL the publishing industry is and how I can't even consistently break ten reblogs on writing I post here #and I just. it hurts. and I have other hobbies I could fall back on!!! I could do art and cosplay and cater to the immediate engagement!!#but writing is my LOVE and my PASSION and I just wish. I wish the current climate CARED about us #TALKED to us the way we talk to cosplayers and artists and the chocolate guy #UGH. Wednesday blues hitting me NASTY today

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

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doydoune · 6 months ago

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Hazakura Temple, February

#what if we walked side by side silently through the snow to reach the man we've both been in love with for years #and who is the only one we trust who can make the ghosts following us disappear #but we both know neither of us deserves a happy ending #so we keep quiet because words would only hurt us more #dounart #ace attorney #aa #ace attorney fanart #miles edgeworth #miles edgeworth fanart #iris hawthorne #gyakuten saiban #narumitsu #kinda #art #fanart #sometimes i remember how we have no idea what they talked about during this several hours walk and i go insane all over again #help girl a random moment drowned in a way bigger narrative is killing me by its potential for deeper metaphorical meaning

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hinamie · 3 months ago

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idk about yall but life is good again

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #jjk art #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk leaks #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #HES SMILINIG MINUNGGJSGJVSFVSFJH #MY DARLING BOY MY SON WHOM I BIRTHED I LOVE YOU #fushiguro megumi the way i would kill/cry/die fr u ur smile cures depression waters crops etc etc #your zuko costumes pretty good but the scars on the wrong side...................#cant believe i lost the scar side coin flip smh leave it to me who does not know her lefts from her rights 2 predict the Wrong Side #sue me fr thinking yuuji lost an eye fr good n wanting them 2 have complementary injuries smh >:/#its ok im over it im over it im just so happy we got scarred!megu im so happy we got smiling!megu im so happy we got ALIVE MEGU #oh my god ive been up all night hand hurt hand ouch but its fr him its worth it i can keep going i can go all day if i need to #god its a good day 2 b a megumi stan

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giddlygoat · 2 months ago

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i’ve seen people draw guck with a scar on his temple from the memory gun. i wanted to adopt that hc asap

#to clarify i don’t imagine it actually hurts to touch. hes just like. emotionally sensitive about it #he’s scared ford will fixate on it and just use it as fuel for his own self loathing. guck worries the same thing for himself #whatverrrrr #anyhoo ford kisses it better so it ok <3 #btw my hc for why no one else seems to have the scar is bc guck just used it way more obsessively than anyone else #and in quick succession too #goddddd. i need to kiss all of his booboos ☹️#fiddleford mcgucket #old man mcgucket #ford pines #fiddauthor #no id #giddly’s art #gravity falls #guck #BTW GUCK’S STRABISMUS??? SO SOON WE FORGET HIS MISALIGNED EYE !!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!#i am number one fan of guck needing glasses to correct his strabismus

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moghedien · 1 month ago

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Minthara says “in Her name” when you first meet her and she’s following the Absolute but when you recruit her and she expresses that she no longer follows any god, but she still has an intact paladin oath, and she says “in your name” occasionally because she’s no longer Lolth’s paladin or the Absolute’s paladin, she’s your paladin

#😭#she might not think you’re a god or whatever but you’re the only one that ever came to save her #and if you let her read your mind you’re the only one she knows has no intention to hurt or use her #like I feel like what Minthara wants most of all is to not have to look over her shoulder or wait for the shoe to drop #like every relationship she’s had as a lolthsworn drow has come with the caveat that everyone will take her out if they have the chance #and if it benefits them even a little #lolth literally encourages this so long as you aren’t obvious about it #and lolth will 100% punish you the second she has an excuse to #and then the absolute like while she was being controlled probably felt more like genuine love than Minthara ever experienced #but it came with Orin and punishments for failing #and her being literallly mind controlled into her #so it’s still violent and threatening even if the extent of that is only realized after she’s pulled out of it #but then there’s you who pulled her out of that #who can clearly and plainly show her that you have no intention of hurting her even if it benefits you #and who went out of your way to rescue her when no one else she was devoted to ever would #and you offered her the means to not only stay safe from the absolute but to get revenge on it #of course it’s ‘in your name’ now you’re the only person that gave Minthara a reason for her to follow you #that wasn’t threats of violence and suffering #you literally gave her the opposite #she’s YOUR paladin it doesn’t matter if aren’t a god #you could be tho #Minthara #minthara baenre #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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that-one-weird-cloud0 · 1 year ago

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Batman: You need a new costume. That one provides no protection.

Danny: oh I cant.

Batman: You won’t owe me for it.

Danny: no I literally cant. Like if i remove it it just returns.

Batman:………. Explain.

Danny: look *takes off glove and explodes it into pieces*

*glove reforms on his hand*

Danny: see? Can’t get rid of it. It’ll just heal itself.

Batfam: …

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #danny phantom #batfam #danny fenton #dc x dp prompt #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #Tim: I want one 😭#dick: it would save soooooo much time instead of manually repairing or replacing a damaged suit :(#Danny: I like yours though. you don’t have to change your entire reflection of how you view yourself to change your hero look #batfam: wut #Danny: my appearance is based on my how I view my identity. if I believe I’m supposed to look a certain way I will #danny: but since I’ve had this look for so long it’s hard to change it #Damian: can’t you add stuff to your suit?#danny: maybe? I haven’t tried since most equipment I had available would hurt/maim/kill me #Jason: that answer just created a million more questions how are you like this?

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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago

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oh noooo or whatever

bonus aka The Real Motive Behind This:

SURPRISE double bonus. textless ver of the first pic under the cut

#xmen #xmen comics #cherik #professor x #magneto #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #erik magnus lehnsherr #max eisenhardt #snap sketches #guys i drew cherik after walking to the comic shop to see official cherik omg .....#context if needed: in like. issue 17-18 of the og run magneto hijacks the x mansion and sets up The Mental Wave Distorter trap #and unfortunately the second i saw it i knew what i had to do because I Cannot Be Salvaged #tbh this was suppoesd to be moooorrreee 2011 Yaoi Doujin Core but clakjkl i like it like this way i fear #i was gonna put dialogue bubbles for the first pic but like that a lot. even tho i did post a textless ver Bro My Head Hurts #this was also supposed to be quick and thats why its in a limbo of Effort Was Made and I Held Back #because after the sketch i realized i wanted to lock in. sort of 💀 still like it tho !!!!!!#more importantly dont take me to comic shops all ima do is think of ship art to make later !!!!!#on that note tho i did have a silly giggle to myself when i saw the resurrection of magneto #like it was the silliest reaction i felt like a dog jlvkjavlka #i also found another magneto-centered run im excited bout ...... both sets were missing One book so im gonna scream but moving on #uhhhh ok im done here. my heads been hurting all day i hope its nothing serious #whats funny is that i actually planned to draw movie cherik today but alas. plans were changed #theres always tomorrow !!!!!!!!! i love you tomorrow .....#bye bye im going to bed

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demigods-posts · 2 months ago

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something about percy nearly dying at luke's hand at the end of tlt ruffles my bones. because imagine feeling like a burden to anyone who dared to care for you. imagine blaming yourself for the death of your mother. imagine grieving in black and white amid a world of color. and then an older brother sees you for all of your sorrow and pain. your cries for help that go unanswered. your longing for a reason to breathe again. and becoming someone you look forward to confiding in when the dust settles. only to discover that their source of light was merely a flame. and the summer air was always meant to burn you alive. truly haunting.

#my first friend. my enemy. maybe that last face i ever see.#<- clock that Hamilton reference; “the world was wide enough”#(the world was not wide enough)#(the path luke went down showed percy where not to go and who not to become)#(the path percy went down showed luke where and who he could have been)#(both were doomed by narrative and save by a dichotomy — two sides of the same coin)#(but i digress)#percy jackon and the olympians #pjo text post #pjo #pjo headcanon #percy jackson #luke castellan #percy and luke #percy and luke angst #the direction the show took with making luke a caring guy who looks after the younger campers like little siblings hurt me in the best way #i need them to do it again next season

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