#or genuinely loves me. I’m not gonna make someone else feel bad for it lmfao

[threebyfours]

Crazy how ppl w “bad” moms are always jealous of me and my mom like… I’m sorry but keep that to urself or talk to therapist.

[emotoangel]

okay! today we’re gonna have a chat about some things I don’t usually chat about, because if it helps one person then it’s worth it! from someone who’s been there, if you’re in The Bad Place mentally right now, here are my tips for how to make it through!

I’m not a doctor or a medical professional of any kind, but I have been there, and I’ve seen lots of doctors and medical professionals (and part of my work is giving people this kind of advice) so I will relay on to you both what has been told to me and what I have tried.

first of all, if you’re reading this I love you, and there is nothing you cannot make it through. I know you don’t want to be strong right now, I know you just want things to be better or over or to be able to rest, and I know it’s really fucking hard to try and keep going when things feel like this, but I promise you there is nothing that is worth losing your life. absolutely nothing. no one deserves to take that from you - not family, not friends, not partners, and certainly not incredibly shitty celebrities or politicians. your life is special and powerful and you can make it through this, I promise you. so here are some things that will help:

1. try and practice even an ounce of self care. and I genuinely mean even an ounce. if you can’t brush your teeth, rinse your mouth with mouthwash or water. go to the toilet. shower if you can. have a glass of water or a drink you enjoy. brush your hair, or if you can’t brush it then put it up and out of your face. do some skincare, something, anything! if you feel like you can barely move from your bed, move to sit on the floor. just do something. move from wherever you’re currently rotting just for a minute.

2. if there is absolutely anyone you trust, call them. you don’t have to tell them how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking about or why you feel how you feel (though if you feel up to it, doing so will help) - you can talk to them about anything. ask them about what they’re doing this upcoming weekend. talk to them about a tv show you saw recently. talk about literally anything with them. just interacting with someone will make at least a little bit of a difference.

3. breathing exercises are fine if they work for you, if they don’t, try grounding exercises, such as the 5 senses technique. think about 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can touch, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste. distract your brain even for a minute to give yourself just a little bit of respite.

4. do something you love. hey, you’re thinking about dying anyway, you might as well try something you enjoy first - right? listen to an UPBEAT song you enjoy (sad songs are fine, but ideally you want something to shock the system a little). if you aren’t able to think of a song, listen to some one direction (I personally recommend don’t forget where you belong, because you can’t not laugh a little when they sing ‘if you ever feel alone - don’t!’ because it’s just so fucking ridiculous) or fucking LMFAO or something. I dunno, man. listen to something that will make you laugh, like something by weird al yancovic or cosmo Jarvis or something. If you don’t wanna do music, make something. draw something shit! try and draw a dog from memory. make a paper airplane. crochet a square. just do SOMETHING that you enjoy. if you haven’t found joy in it recently, that’s okay. do it anyway. at least then something new exists that didn’t before, and that’s so cool right?

5. if you are in a place (country, state, county etc.) that has even some semblance of decent medical care, and you feel capable of doing so, call your GP/doctor and ask them for an emergency appointment. if you’re in the UK call 111. tell someone how you’re feeling IF it is safe to do so where you are. see if you can get some help.

6. if literally all else fails, do anything (within reason) that you can to fall asleep. listen to sleep sounds, meditation music, rain sounds idk. have a wank. take a singular melatonin tablet. spray lavender sleep spray. wrap yourself up in a heated blanket. have a bath. do whatever you need to do to get you to sleep. if it takes you 2 hours to fall asleep, it takes you 2 hours. you have panic attacks and you cry and you beg for someone to sedate you but you do not give up. you get some sleep.

and then you get up and you try again tomorrow. and maybe tomorrow you can brush your hair. or you can drink some water. have a slice of toast. brush your teeth. listen to a song you like. call a friend. call a helpline. call a doctor. and if you can’t, that’s fine. you try those things again the next day. and you keep trying. until eventually it comes more easily to you.

I don’t want to sound patronising, but if you’re thinking about ending it all then you’re already at rock bottom. it will feel like nothing can get worse. you will feel like everything is ending and this is your only option. so why not try a couple of these things, right? because things can’t really get worse. either they help a little or they do nothing, and then at least you’ve tried, right?

and I’m telling you now that bare minimum one of these things will help you, at least a little. I don’t live next door to you - I can’t provide resources for every single state, county, street, country in the world, but I promise you those resources are out there. and I can tell you now, from someone who’s been at rock bottom, it’s only up from here.

things will get better. you will meet friends who love you. friends who care about you more than you ever thought you could be cared about. you’ll see animals in the street and people in love and new flowers and you’ll try new foods and you’ll learn to love that shit spread that everyone enjoys that you hate. and you will have bad days. because bad days in life are inevitable. but you will make it through them all. right now, you only need to make it through this one.

if you need a hug, I am hugging you. if you need someone to tell you things will be okay, I am telling you right now things will be okay. if you need a sign to keep fucking screaming and crying and kicking and clawing to stay alive right now, take this as your fucking sign.

you can do this. everything will be alright in the end, and if its not alright, it’s not the end.

[chunkymamatam]

I'm currently having a Vil obsession...do you perchance have any stories about him/any interactions with him? :') <3

-Reena

Yeah one is a really shitty interaction I had with him (which happens to be literally the first interaction we had lmfao) the rest are chill tho

Now, I’m a big bitch and I start this first interaction off by saying this because context is important and I understand that he genuinely wasn’t trying to be a douche but there’s a reason I’m fat and it’s not cuz I eat too much. Actually most times I struggle to eat at all.

Tw: I’m gonna mention my Eating Disorder and medical issues

Story 1:

I was getting signatures for an interest form about possibly starting a cheer team. I was doing this for a friend and I get to the table with Vil, Rook and Epel(Vil insists that they eat together to keep both Rook and Epel at least somewhat in check lmfao) and I was asking if they’d sign and this mf we looks at me and is like “have you tried the Salads here? They’re good and healthy.” Nah cuz wtf bro 😭 I was flabbergasted bro cuz what???

So I look at him, cuz honestly I expect this from mfers that are that conventionally beautiful, and I’m like “you better shut your fucking mouth before I beat that pretty face of yours black and blue and not that it’s any of your god damn business but I love salads. Ever had a Greek salad?” And he shakes his head “You should try them. They’re good. And healthy”

Then that night Malleus asked about it and I told him that Superstar is lucky he didn’t trigger my ED and he needs to be careful who he talks to like that because it’s gonna make someone relapse and really get hurt. Plus it’s those exact comments that made me feel like it was my fault when I was on medication with the side effects of weight gain and literally took my ability to sweat so what I can physically do is now limited. Malleus did NOT like this. Idk what he did but not long after that Vil approached me before classes and apologized. I relayed what I said to Malleus back to him. He genuinely felt bad and didn’t even think about that which is crazy considering his industry.

On a lighter not I asked to use his sewing machine for the cheer outfits and he said yes. Slight push back on the basis of “wouldn’t Crowley order them”

to which I was like “this man can’t even give me adequate housing” LMFAO

He said yeah after that and was like “only if I have final say on the design.” We’ve been pretty close friends since pfff

Story 2:

When the SDC came around and Ace and Deuce got on the team I panicked when the entirety of Pomefiore tried to beat our asses and broke a vase over someone’s head. Vil yelled at me that “that was expensive” BITCH I AINT APOLOGIZING I WAS BEING MAULED BY A BUNCH OF THEATER KIDS 😭😭😭

Vil was so done with me but like everyone else agreed with me so 💀

Story 3:

There was also this one time I was having a breakdown and he was like “oh sweetheart no. I can’t have you going out looking a mess. Let’s clean you up.” And he took me into the room he was in while staying at Ramshackle and did my hair and makeup. I took a picture and posted it to my Magicam (Cater forced me to make one lol). Tell me why his crazy ass fans identified him by his jawline, shoulders and a pixel of his hair???? This wasn’t even in frame enough that reasonably y’all should’ve been able to identify him 😭

It’s an ongoing joke between us now and we just occasionally post pictures of our legs next to each other, maybe I’ll put one leg over his. It’s really funny cuz I posted pictures of us in our Halloween costumes too and it wasn’t even just with him and they were like “You fat bitch you don’t deserve to date him” Now you can tell me I’m being dumb but that is such a massive leap to conclusions 😭😭😭

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: hsmtmts 2x01-2x12

gina saying ‘i’m gonna make my mark’ while walking through nini and ricky, causing them to break their handhold…yeah.

poor gina, she likes ricky so much

that was harsh, ricky didn’t deserve that.

oh my God, nini’s ‘team kourt’ pullover is so cute

blondie has a great voice but she’s a shit person, i have to say

kourt, ash and gina did so good but i kinda wish ashs voice wasn’t at the forefront

i officially hate blondie, how dare her laugh at big red falling???

ashlyn as belle my beloved <3

I KNEW SHE WAS A SPY

the hearts on nini’s face, aw

lmfaoooo he’s in denver

‘…i’m taking it in stride’ ‘you’re dressed in all black’ pls

big red saying valentine’s day is centered around the color red so he should have it on lock and pointing to his hair was hilarious i love him

ricky definitely has some buried feelings for gina cause there’s no other reason why their scenes are now slightly awkward in that cute way it is when characters have mutual feelings for each other and don’t know how to act esp when one half is in a relationship 🤭

‘there are just some things i tell you that i don’t tell anybody else’ ‘i think we do that for each other’ who else is doing it like them? definitely not rini lmao

not ricky shushing gina cause nini’s calling??? now why would he do that if he didn’t feel slightly guilty for hanging out with her? emotionally cheating ricky we love you🫂

big red and ashlyn are so adorable together

GOD RICKY AND THE CHOCOLATES, I CANT BREATHE

the way ricky immediately sent that text to gina, he’s so fucking obvious 😭

‘love you, mom!’ seb is so cute

kourt as lead when??

ricky’s fucking face when he sees nini’s voicemail and gina’s text 😭

reds song was saurrr cute

ricky’s down so bad, gina didn’t even say anything funny and he immediately lost it

‘what, do i need to send you a random box of chocolates to prove it? 😏’ gina is literally the only one so far who brings out ricky’s flirty side

‘i go big, gina. you know that.’ GOD

kinda wanna throw hands with mr mazzara for being there for ej but not willing to be there for ricky earlier

need someone to notice something’s wrong with gina and hug her

is gina leaving again? kinda getting that vibe

gina’s performance was AMAZING

WOW i think that’s genuinely the best cover of ‘the climb’ i’ve ever heard

‘i’ve never been accused of being speechless’ 🫂

oh wow, they stole their beauty and the beast idea

‘i’m ready to come home’

‘what would you ask your future self?’ ‘trick question, gaston’s dead!’ he’s not wrong 😭

ricky’s allergic to change and it’s definitely his parents fault

‘i wouldn’t quit on us, if i wasn’t moving away’

‘nini’s back and…he’s so happy now’ SHE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY, TOO!!!!

espionage 😭😭

gina finally got a hug 🥹

ricky saying he’d ask if the beast and belle were still together in the future + nini writing that song…yeah, they were built to fall apart

‘oh my God, is your phone hungry?!’ lmfaoooo

‘do you really think they’d steal from us?’ ‘i would :D’ pls?? gina’s so funny 😭

‘if you leave me unsupervised with their costumes i cannot promise i won’t go all gina 1.0 in there’ lmfao i love her

the way i gasped in sync with everyone else when that kid called the costume fugly 😭

ricky and nini is the worst relationship on the show

OH MY GOD???

okay, i did NOT see howie being the beast coming

‘miss jen, we didn’t break anything’ ‘would you like me to be the first?’ miss jen said her hands are rated E for everyone

‘keep our heads down and our chins up’ ‘i don’t think that’s physically possible’ ‘it’s an expression, sebastian!’ she’s so done with him 😭

rini needs to end, they aren’t good together at all

i already hate ej’s dad, he sounds so full of himself and he’s only said a few words lmao

kourt’s mom is the best parent on the show i fear

damn, all the relationships are imploding this ep

i would’ve preferred gina and ej just being friends tbh

i feel bad for nini and ricky of course, but their relationship was not it

okayyyy an andi mack reunion!! i’m here for it!

i love the song and video they made, i just wish ricky was there, too

gina is so damn shippable cause why am i here thinking her and jack would be cute together

ricky’s song is so good

ej showing up at the airport…ricky should’ve ran into gina there on his way home and they should’ve taken an uber together or something

‘i think i may have played troy at one point’ pls 😭

lily’s incredibly annoying

seblos 🥹

oh fuck, ricky fell 😭

the musical is really good

A BIG BROTHER FIGURE, I’M CRYING

lily stole the harness, didn’t she?

well.

‘i’ve always seen your name in lights’ oh my God, they’re so cute!!!

why can’t gina ever just be happy?!?

Gina and nini’s friendship (i use that word loosely lmao) is cute

nini being more upset about her and gina than ricky and gina…she doesn’t give a fuck about him dkgjfjs

oh wow, gina’s definitely gonna introduce nini to her brother

‘are you happy?’ miss jen is already better than both of ricky’s parents just by asking that simple question

i’m so glad they dropped out

oh brother

the cast performing you are the music in me 🫶🏻🥹

aww, olivia crying 🥺

that’s a wrap on s2 and if you made it to the end of this lb, pat yourself on the back lmfao

[chairhahaha]

canon es looks like a pathetic baby

i love how u end up analysing every piece you see ur so smart

i honestly hate how everyone handled it so childishly like ur telling me that everyone in vivid street watched an obliviously continue to wait for nagi for YEARS not even a few months or weeks it was most of her life???😭😭 i know they wanted to fufil nagi’s final wish but honestly that’s just so wrong. also taiga what the fuck man how r u gonna destroy an’s dreams like that then bring the entire group JUST TO PROVE THAT VBS CANT BEAT RAD WEEKEND ARE YOU DENSE ok ignore that anyways no way the entire town agreed that this was okay?????

ur right though milgram’s treatment is way more inhumane what the hell is wrong with them, as far as i’m aware i think all the wardens introduced (novel and music project) r like high schoolers. DUDE😭😭😭 imagine just being a normal teenagerthen u wake up with no memory of what u were doing before and get told by a talking chromosome that ur surrounded by murderers thats absolutely terrifying

THE STACKS OF PAPER WHAT THE HELL not even the excessive hw i get could get that bad

idk if u read Side S yet but I’ll spoil it under cut bc good god

Es KNOWS that their memory Was wiped and they don’t gaf because

“I want to be a beautiful warden if that’s the case, if memories are impurities for a warden, then they are unnecessary” Like WHAT THE FUCK WHAT HAS MILGRAM DONE TO YOU

milgram wardens r honestly so dehumanised to the point where nothing else but the verdicts they give is important. jackalop is so. ew i like making fun of him but he also seems genuinely frightening in the sense that he’s a higher rank than es so he could. do anything to them. dont even get me started on novel jackalope she can literally strangle the wardens like “do you want to stop breathing too?” SHUT UP PLEASE

I want t3 so badlu but at the same time im so horrified

ANALYSIS READING TIME!

i feel like i could pull up with this and you’d still find a way to analyse it/pos

edit: WHO VOTED ON THE POLL LMFAOOOOO

messy hair es!!!! i only did that so it wouldn’t look too basic but omg!!!!!!! yes es is clutching onto themselves and their heart, idk i js copied the original poseLMAO

the duller clothing has no meaning i just love playing with saturation

ur flower analysis is so good holy shit i was just trying to doodle those rlly basic flowers bc i was NOT drawing all that detail on an’s shitt. abandonment. oh god the prisoners

“if u put a red and white flower together something something someone will die” <- looks at a prisoner

Okay I Actually Lied I Did Want To Put Symbolism (abt the person behind es)

You are correct that is supposed to be past es, i was trynna go for like there’s nothing much to past es’ design because es doesn’t know their past self so. they could be anything . so like the basic ness in the design means that there’s not much u can really say about a past you don’t remember WHAT AM I SAYING

“they died before even becoming a warden” HOLY FUCKING SHITTTTRTT THATS SO SICK I HATE MILGRAM

the pancreas thing is so cool i didnt even know that what

the longer hair was entirely an accident its bc i didnt have a reference of es’ back hair. but of course kani finds a way to analyse it and still make it make sense. ahoge was also unintentional LMFAO es is implied to have a bad past so it makes sense that pre milgram es would be depressed

THE NUMBER OF FLOWERS TOO?? i honestly had no idea numbers had symbolisms i just pasted a bunch of flowers everywhere so the background wouldnt look basic

i DEFO drew them looking like hearts but i tried drawing petals scattered everywhere. the hearts look cute tho

did u know i based the fence off the wall thing in ur engeki es art😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

the fence bar things is supposed to represent milgram bc. the gold things r in milgram. es’ room. and the fact that warden es and past es r separated by that fence implies that milgram is preventing es from uhh knowing their past/true self by putting a fence and hiding the past from them

idk shit about fences so im just gonna go with whatever u said about facing outwards and inwards bc it still makes sm sense😭

oh god the heart being split apart because es was ripped from their childhood and since its a fence they can’t get it back

^ that was NOT intentional i just wanted to say smt

i think i need to get better at symbolisms like i’m literally a milgram fan

THANK TOU SO MUCHHH OH MY GOF DON’T KYS YOU CAN DIE FROM THAT🙏🙏🙏🙏

下剋上

i need to stop drawing them with a baby face all the time😭😭

if u find any symbolisms here it was probably an accident i suck at analysing and all that

An and Es when they have 2 letter names and were raised in an environment that they believed and trusted in only to realise that the truth was being hidden from them (if that makes sense)

who died???? probably their freedom

^ if that makes. sense (I SAID THAT ALREADY)

based off this

if u saw me post this b4 u didnt

[sab-carpenters]

i have mixed feelings about the fact that they left brettsey open-ended and just them in general after the finale that i finally can somewhat put into words so pls enjoy reading my anger <3

after watching the scene over and over again, i came to conclusion that they didn’t break up but just didn’t know where they stand (well that’s how i’m understanding it). no doubt these two love each other but honestly i get it, long distance is so fucking hard. you’re not seeing the person you love everyday. i think it was heartbreaking hearing matt say he wishes sylvie could stay in portland forever, with him (i cried lmao). he genuinely wants sylvie to be there with him and idk i feel like deep deep down sylvie wants that but like she said, her family is 51, her life and work is in chicago (i will get to this below because im so annoyed at the writers lol). you’re 2000 miles away from the person you love. you’ve been pining over each other for three years and suddenly one of them has to leave. but i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again, i still truly believe that if anyone can do long distance, it’s matt and sylvie and i’ll forever keep saying it. aside from that, my issue is with the writers and the writers ONLY. matt literally said in s7 he’s a chicago guy and basically he’s forever going to be a chicago guy. did they forget that? i’m sorry but i did not like the fact that he’s basically saying he found a life in portland and he’s happy yada yada yada. it was completely ooc for me and i just don’t have any words. his family is literally 2000 miles away...there is no one in portland, aside from the boys, that he considers family (like yeah he could have friends or wtv). also, i did not like the way matt reacted when hermann asked when is he coming back (and pls don’t come at me saying it’s probably nothing of whatever, this is how i’m seeing it 💀). i get it, matt is there for three years, he needs to actually settle down temporarily or whatever but idk the way they made it seem like he’s perfect in portland makes no sense to me. it’s as if the writers completely forgot he said he’s a chicago guy (which they didn’t because derek literally mentioned it in the muam interview lol, it’s just…bad writing.) also i still don’t understand what that look between the two of them when matt was hugging violet was. made no fucking sense whatsoever, like his smile literally dropped. i’m convinced that either there are scenes missing in between or it’s just weird ass writing once again. what was the point in matt saying i dont know?? like okay, i get it you cant tell but he didnt even bother reassuring her like he did in 10x05 (someone else mentioned this in my gifset as well). did the writers completely just forget everything that was said between them in the 200th episode? it's like we're back to 9x02 when matt said i dont know, like don't piss me off. when sylvie said its not her life blah blah, i almost think i threw my laptop out the window...everything that happened in s9, everything they've said to each other made it seem like they were it for each other, basically they cant be without each other etc etc, like miss me with that bullshit. haas and co. seriously forgot every single shit that happened between these two characters and are throwing unnecessary angst at them. like okay i get her family and work is in chicago no doubt, but when she said her life..i found it ooc and ill forever hate the writers for it for the rest of my life. this 55 second scene (i waited seven months for them to have a fifty fucking five seconds conversation lmfao) will annoy me for the rest of my life because of how stupid and angst hungry these writers are. i do not know what haas has planned for brettsey. i don't know whether or not they just left brettsey opened ended because they were gonna use hiatus to figure out whats going to happen. i dont know if theyre just gonna have them break up off camera and have sylvie mention that they did. i did not know there was a text limit so i will end it here but i am the number one derek haas anti <3 thank u for coming to my ted talk

[f1nalboys]

the collection live post thing lol

-i like this opening scene way more than the first one i’ll say that

-also asa is literally just going 😡🔪🪓🧨 like go do ur job

-just waiting for everyone in this party to violently die

-asa thot dropping on the light fixtures he’s such a whore

-where’s my sexy man arkin

-there he is <3

-ooooh i like how they show the traps in this one ALSO THE FUCKING TURBINE SHIT??,, BAD ASS

-douche canoe gets to live w only a pinky cut off? 🙄

-this bitch didn’t help arkin like ??? what else can u do????? annoying as mf

-again how does asa even find the time/energy to make these traps?

-why would she stay there while he friend gets crushed to death? id hate to see that

-CMON ARKIN LETS GO BAE

-do car alarms just not go off when someone lands on them LMFAO

-ok so why did they handcuff him? my man was KIDNAPPED

-taken meets the avengers

-this mf breathes like he’s 89 years old and an avid smoker

-arkins accent heheh heheheheh

-lmk when a bra strap can actually open a fucking chest

-asas kind of stupid

-asa more like assa amirite

-this guys a douche when is he dying

-‘you already abandoned the girl once you gonna do it again?’ man go fuck yourself SHE ABANDONED HIM FIRST U CUNT

-be nice to arkin or asa will kill u

-i wanna reas the wiki you see if paz dies so badly i love her

-can they just fix the mfing lights already!!???? I CANT SEE W THE FLASHING U BITCH

-my sister can’t watch this bc of the flashing lights so now i’m gonna have to do a play by play

-arkin what is with u man you were in this fucking place for however many months why r u not looking where u walk and put ur hand 🙄 i love my men stupid

-we got arkin in that sexy grey undershirt now 😝😝 i would drink his sweat sorry idk who said that i was hacked

-asa is a little bit of an artist as you can see

-freakazoid

-asa is so mean can’t the man give it a rest for just a second

-also he’s stupid as hell arkin was literally not even 2 feet away from him and he somehow misses him 😐 i think this guy likes the chase

-go find paz u bitches

-these mfs could’ve been saved if they had listened to arkin just sayinggggg

-don’t trust abby that bitch she’s a liar

-can lucello die already i want paz to live forever and ever

-question r we supposed to care abt elena or whatever her name is? bc i don’t

-i like abby i feel bad for her

-abby is a cunt nvm

-haha she died literally quick as all hell hehehe

-OOOH THE SCENE OF ASA KICKING THE DOOR OPEN LOVE JT

-damn rip the dogs my bitches haven’t done anything wrong

-tubi is giving me too many ads 😐

-would the third collector movie be called the collected 🤔

-NOOO HIS ARM 🤮🤮

-elena was a little too happy to break arkins arm 🤔

-asa is such a bitch like man let them leave 🙄 he rlly killed paz and for what????? bc she was a girlboss??

-arkin get tf up and get outta there let the other mfs die idc abt them

-paz should’ve lived i hate asa

-stab him in the FACE don’t punch him

-OH MY GOD HE JUST STABBED ARKIN IN THE FACE

-i was talking to arkin abt u asa god damn

-genuine question here, asa LITERALLY caught on fire so how did he survive?

-anyways

-arkin dropping to his knees abt to die in the fire us so dramatic king u could’ve jumped over the fire but at least elena was literally thinking at all

-ok i didn’t realize how far away from the door he was LMFAO ur forgiven babe

-damn arkin been through a lot :/ i don’t give a single fuck abt elena or her storyline i care abt arkin am i a misogynist

-so annoying that asa somehow made it out of there it rlly makes no sense but i’ll let it slide bc if the end scene

-yesss arkin beat his ass!!! lock him in the trunk king!!!!!! i hope the collected 3 is arkin torturing asa like he deserves <3

-oooh was asa the little boy that they mentioned on the radio? abt the dad going crazy and killing the family and setting them up at the table for thanksgiving bc he ingested chemicals from taxidermy???? interesting

-‘you here to kill me?’ boy get in the trunk

-nice punch arkin babe 😝 do that to me while we fuck

-hacked again sorry

-the stupid animalistic growls asa lets out r so funny to me

[kingsshilling]

okay stealing some q's from those posts but for both of the lads:

If they had a theme song, what would it be?

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

this got REALLYYYY long sorry oh my god so I’m gonna put it under a read more, thank you soooo so so much though I really, really loved answering these :]

If they had a theme song, what would it be?

THIS IS SO HARD!!!!!

I have a spotify playlist for songs I associate with the story (very very haphazard messy self indulgent and extremely unfinished, every song so far has been thrown in with no rhyme or rhythm beyond that it relates to the story somehow) but it’s so hard to choose just one for each of them...

Keeping in mind that I would probably change this answer at a moment’s notice if I had to choose JUST one for each right now (links go to youtube):

Éamonn: Night of the Swallow - Kate Bush

Give me a break!

Oh, let me try!

Give me something to show

For my miserable life!

Give me something to take!

Would you break even my wings

Like a swallow?

Bedwyr: Time - Pink Floyd

Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

but because I can’t actually choose just one...  War Baby - Tom Robinson (the live acoustic version cus it has an extra verse that kills me) (to be interpreted with Bedwyr as the subject of the song rather than the narrator.. we know who the narrator would be)

AND the song which I consider The song for Éamonn and Bedwyr, The Chosen One - Bread (“I was the blues and you were my sunshine friend” “You are the sea and I am the sailor, riding the perfect wave, I could've drowned but you came around and saved me” AAAAAAAAGH)

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Bedwyr tries to be as patient as possible but if he was already in a bad mood to begin with it can be hard for him not to be sharp with people that are annoying him big time, for the most part he’ll make himself laugh it off but if someone he already has issues with is purposelly trying to get a rise out of him depending on the situation he might either tell them to fuck off or hit them a box lmfao. He’s not above apologising if he thinks he was in the wrong though and will feel bad if he doesn’t but again especially with someone he didn’t like to begin with he can be stubborn as a mule

Éamonn will just silently seethe KJDSNG it actually takes a fair bit for one person to really, really annoy him and piss him off but his usual method of dealing with it is just to get up and leave if there’s an opportunity to do so without making things worse, so he’ll usually just avoid people he dislikes if he can. He doesn’t have Bedwyr’s strength or stature so he doesn’t let himself lash out physically but he can and Will absolutely slaughter someone with his words if they get to him that badly, but also he’s fairly used to being slagged for numerous reasons so especially if he already has a few drinks in him if someone is purposely trying to vex him he might just openly laugh in their face cus he thinks it’s genuinely funny (which depending on the situation either makes them give up or makes it MUCH worse)

these ended up not really being especially specific to people they dislike JNDFJDNG but for the most part there isn’t really anyone they really don’t like no matter what (Kay is kinddd of that but it’s complicated for Bedwyr and Éamonn again just ignores/avoids him if he can, or finds his attempts at trying to get a rise out of him funny cus he’s already heard everything under the sun) and unless someone is purposely trying to cause harm they just get on with it like most anyone else and have a little complain about it later

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

MMMMM this is a very very interesting one.... I think Éamonn really just doesn’t think about it at all or tries not to at least. He’s not especially religious and wouldn’t have been going to mass much as an adult because he was nearly always at sea or otherwise just not able to but he does go occassionally... Naturally though being how he is he takes it all with a huge grain of salt

If you were to ask him directly he would give the easy and cynical answer of “hole in the ground bye” but I think he does believe in some form of an afterlife, he just doesn’t try to go into details about it and doesn’t really think it’s Worth spending much time thinking about it. For much of his teenage years & 20s he believed & had essentially accepted he would either be drowned at sea or just like be found dead in some port town away from home and maybe never be identified or mourned (whereas Bedwyr always had & was aware of the promise of a big family and community who’d look after him) so in terms of if death scares him... I’d say it doesn’t Really scare him so to speak but he doesn’t really like to think about it too deeply either

Bedwyr isn’t really very religious much the same as Éamonn and for many of the same reasons but he still goes to services regularly (more as a community thing than anything) and I think he definitely would’ve believed in the stereotypical image of heaven when he was younger but he kind of ended up a bit like Éamonn (just not to extreme an extent) in that he’s not as definite about how it would be. He still believes in an afterlife where you get to be reunited with your friends and loved ones (including animals lol) and believes in things like your loved ones looking down on you because that brings him a lot of comfort, in contrast with Éamonn who loathes the thought of anyone looking at him ever

Definitely when he was younger after witnessing the death of his father he would’ve been absolutely terrified of the thought and spent many many hours wondering about it all, but as he got older he came to accept it a bit more. He’s still a bit afraid of it but especially after meeting Éamonn and hearing his view of death as something not really worth worrying about because there’s nothing you can do to control it beyond keeping yourself healthy, it’s not something that really, really bothers him to the extent it used to anymore

thank you so much again for these!!! and sorry for the length JDGJJND I answered a lot of questions that weren’t actually here I think but hopefully my answers are somewhat interesting......

[sandsofdteam-moved]

5 and 12 :D

heyy!! hope ur doin well :D (dteamblr ask game)

5. when did you first start watching their content? what got you into it?

I’m gonna be real honest and say I really didn’t like Dream when I first got into their content in early 2020, not bc I specifically disliked him or anything, but because I was a bitch about liking the same mcyts as my sisters—my younger sister was actually the first one to watch dt content in my house! Eventually I got one of the death shuffles recommended to me and I caved, albeit in the middle of the night with headphones on so no one would hear. Got hooked on the dnf dynamic from their duo videos, then the dteam dynamic off their challenge vids, and here I am 2 years later still going strong off the same 3 losers even though my sister’s lost most interest lmfao

12.  talk about your favorite dynamic that they have with each other or someone else

Oh this could be a long one, I could talk about dteam dynamics for ages and go on and on, I don’t really have a preference because they’re all wonderful

First off, Dreamnap, the ultimate brothers from another mother, partners in crime for a decade, and absolute soulmates. Their dynamic is crude and hilarious and so full of love that they even have their own little nickname of “brother” when they want to convey all of their care in just a word—from the tweet after Sap had surgery to Dream’s 30k donation on stream, you can tell that behind the angry gamer exterior they’re a couple of softies! Dream gives the world and more to Sapnap and Sapnap acts like he’d defend the guy until his own lungs give out, so as long as Dream isn’t directing his anger towards him. They’re toxic in the best way possible where behind every jab is a bastion of history and trust. Their friendship has been through ups and downs and from what it seems, they’d lay down their lives for one another if it came down to it.

Secondly is SNF, the original duo of menaces to their tired keepers. I remember back in the day during early dteam content where I genuinely thought they hated each other, especially after they “bonded” to annoy Dream during one of the dteam videos. In retrospect I was an idiot 😭 their antics came from their kindred spirit—even now, they egg each other on to do the worst things possible and act like actual siblings. Sapnap looks up to George like an older brother (and has apparently said as much, to George’s chagrin) and George could give less of a shit about a brotherly dynamic, and sees in Sap someone he can drop his guard and be himself with like the gremlin he really is. Ofc, the two of them do genuinely just have fun together and can spend just as long as any other dteam duo, evidenced by their apparently characteristic long calls in teamspeak that Bad alluded to in a past stream. Idk I just love that they’re so in sync about all of their shenanigans and bits (mcc roleplay…) but when it comes down to it they do just genuinely find comfort in one another’s presence and can build each other up just as much as they can knock one another down :]

And finally the elephant in the room, the shitshow of DNF. Idk where to even start with these two, I feel like Dream’s tweets honestly sum it up better than I ever could—their dynamic and teamwork started the entire Drempire of content, with George putting all of his trust into some 20 year old from Florida despite having a lucrative degree and what sounds like an insanely competitive level of talent, and Dream working like hell to make sure that George didn’t waste his shot. They started the empire, roped all their friends in, and managed to create one of the most successful content groups in internet history. The trusting bond they share seems almost inhuman. That’s not to mention the amount of care and love that goes unsaid but not unheard. We’ve seen them tunnel vision within calls filled with upwards of a dozen people. Despite never having met, they know each other scarily well, knowing the intricacies of how each others’ brains work, how to annoy each other, and especially how to fluster the other. There’s just something particular about the ways that the two of them constantly gravitate towards each other, use those disgustingly sweet voices, and, well, play into the dnfing. I don’t think anyone is advocating harder for dnf to be real than dnf 😭 from fanart likes to quips to lord knows what kind of off-camera conversations they have, no one is doing it like them. Anyways. I said SNF are in sync and while that’s true, it doesn’t hold a candle to the shit that these two pull with the equally horrible sexts and fond reactions to each others’ voices and presences. They’re obsessed with doing things together sometimes and it makes everyone in the local vicinity want to gouge their ears out and I can’t say I blame them! I’d do the same 😒😒 Idk I just adore the dynamic capabilities of their relationship that can be pulled and interpreted in a million different directions, when at the end of the day it does just come down to them having an insanely strong love for one another :>

and all together they are just complete menaces needing parental supervision, egging each other on to do the dumbest shit or working in duos to fuck with the other person. but like all the other duo dynamics, their bond is immeasurable and a delight to get to witness, and I can’t wait to see that translate to them irl!

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

[monaownsmyass]

Going Out Of My Mind In My Mind

Requested fic by anon. (If you have any fic ideas or requests you'd like me to write, you can leave me an ask!)

Book: My First Two Loves

Pairing: Ava Lawrence x MC (Emma Price)

Genre: Fluff but make it angsty

Rating: PG13

Warning: Mild homophobic comments

Word Count: 3,611

A/N: Ava is in love with her best friend. She gets lost in her own thoughts while contemplating if she should reach out to MC. Firstly, I wanna say I’m so sorry to the anon that requested this if they wanted a more light-hearted fluff fic lmfao. If you did, please send me another ask lol. Secondly, I wanna apologise to my fellow wlw for including a little homophobia. It’s not that harsh or mean, but it’s there. I thought including it would better portray a realistic encounter of what it’s like to be a wlw accepting her sexuality and exploring her feelings.

Tag list: @ineedskyecrandall @kamilahsayeet2063 @avalawrencefl @lovekamilahsayeed @thequeenkamilahsayeed @heygmicheelle @djtjsmith14 @jjlover01 @soft-for-drake @dopeyouth @alexroyard @satrinadia @toalltheboysididntlove @mypegasifly @queen-arabella-of-cordonia (lmk if anyone would like to be included or removed in my next fics and if you only want to be tagged for certain pairings.)

The first time I realised I was in love with my best friend was... well, I'm not sure if I'm being honest.

But damn, if that's not the most generic, cliché plot ever for every sapphic film and story ever, I'm not sure what is. However, there was always some truth to fiction and I was no exception.

That was my life. Generic and cliché. Popular high school captain of the cheerleaders who lived in the suburbs and came from a middle-class family that has dated the school's famous golden-boy quarterback.

For far too long, everything was normal. Too normal. Painfully normal.

That is, of course, until I started realising I had feelings for my best friend that was very much into guys. As I've mentioned, I couldn't pint-point an exact date or incident but like a hurricane, it was sudden even though there were warnings signs and it was just as destructive, uprooting and destroying everything I thought I once knew, a force to be reckoned with.

It was utter chaos in a seeming perfect picture but for the first time in my life, I felt alive.

Emma Price was my hurricane. Whether that was a good or bad thing, that was up for debate. All I knew was that I wanted her in my life and didn't care if it wasn't the best idea or if it would hurt me. I just wanted her to be with me.

I think that's the funniest thing about finally having a genuine, heart-wrenching, crush on someone. Even the smartest people get dumb, the most cautious are reckless and the logical becomes irrational. Everything that made sense doesn't anymore because why the hell are you doing things you normally wouldn't do for someone that doesn't even like you back?

I learnt that first-hand and I wished someone would've warned me before that. Not like I would've believed it but at least it would be playing at the back of my mind. An echo in the distance, a nagging voice.

I did the stupidest stuff once I was certain I was in love with Emma. I knew I was in love with her but I was in denial and did things I regretted. Dating other people, trying to make her jealous, downplaying my feelings when I saw her with Mason or Noah. Pushing her away and avoiding her instead of talking to her...

It's different, falling for your best friend. Feelings and signals are mixed, emotions are at a high and everything is just one confusing mess of a relationship that was once simple and innocent.

And now, here I was, laying on my bed, staring at my phone as if it would magically tell me the right thing to do if I looked long enough. It didn't, of course. I sighed, wondering if I should shoot Emma a text. It's been some time since we just talked for fun and I missed her sorely.

Procrastinating, I swiped through my home page. My eyes caught sight of a certain app that I opened ever so often whenever I was missing my best friend.

~*~*~

"Come on! Just download it!"

I scrunched my nose up. "Give me one good reason why."

"Because you’re the best friend in the whole world and you'll do anything I say because you love me?" she said jokingly while batting her eyelashes at me but my heart started racing.

I was acutely aware of her hand on my thigh and the way she leaned into me. My breath hitched at her nearness even though we've been closer before.

That was something else about having a crush on your best friend. Suddenly, everything felt like too much. Every word, every touch, every damn single thing was overwhelming and honestly? It was exhausting. Not only is it emotionally tiring, you go into this weird phase of wanting to savour everything they do and you can't help but wonder why you didn't appreciate these small moments before. You can't help but feel as if you've wasted them all.

If she could sense me stiffen, she didn't show it 'cuz she just went on. "Also, it's about a cartoon cat that eats to save the world! What's not to love?"

"That sounds ridiculous, Em," I laughed. "What's the game called?"

"Dopey Cat!"

"Oh god," I groaned. "That makes it sounds much worse."

"Or much better!" She nudged me and I felt a jolt go up my arm. I always wondered if these simple touches felt the same to her. "Do it"

"Alright, alright!" I giggled and surrendered. "Only 'cuz I'm such a great friend."

"Yes! And like I said," Emma leaned in and my heart dropped to my stomach. "The best."

She gave me a slow, soft peck on my cheek and rested her head on my shoulder, clinging onto my arm and leaving me a flustered mess.

~*~*~

I thought about that moment often. More often then I'd like to admit. Every time I did, the same thoughts would always come to mind.

What would've happened if I kiss her? What if I just turned my head right before her lips touched my skin? Would she have kissed me back? Would she push me away? Maybe she'd say she felt the same way about me.

But that didn't happen, so all I could do was wonder.

And wonder I did.

Being in my room like this, doing nothing, it really did make my mind go everywhere. I've dreamed and cried and laughed and screamed and doing nothing was suddenly the most taxing thing I've ever done. Doing nothing when you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back was the most dangerous thing 'cuz they’re already always on your mind but when you're doing nothing, your thoughts just spirals down an endless pit of possibilities that'll never happen and ultimately, you get hurt.

But knowing this, I still let my thoughts spiral anyway. How could I not when the joy and peace I got from imaging a world where her and I were together was worth the pain and heartbreak?

'Cuz figment of my imagination or reality, it didn't matter, she was worth it.

I've imagine us on dates, having picnics, watching movies, going on road trips, sleeping over, laughing over nothing, at the park, at the beach, in a field, in our rooms.

I've thought about us dancing in the living room at 12 a.m., huddled in bundles of blankets on a cold night, singing along to our song while making breakfast, staying up under the night sky and talking about everything and nothing until sunrise, being able to introduce her as my girlfriend and kissing her whenever I felt like.

I've dreamt about us so much as a couple that I've accidentally mistaken reality for fiction but like I've said, there's always some truth to fiction.

~*~*~

"Congrats on being co-captains, guys!" Iris wished us enthusiastically, practically jumping up and down.

"Seriously, you guys totally deserve it," Toni agreed.

"Thank you!" Emma said.

"You two are the best duo! Our cheer squad is gonna rule with you both leading us!"

"Thanks," I said and pulled Emma in for a side hug, feeling goosebumps from the contact. "We do make a pretty great couple."

I immediately froze when I realised what I said and mentally kicked myself. 

God, that was so stupid! Why was I so careless? I should watch what I say!

That wasn't the first time I've done it and I was sure it wasn't the last, but just like how Emma was always the only one to mess up my constant, she was the one difference between all the other times and this time.

She had never heard me refer to ourselves as a couple but while I was beating myself up, Emma handled the situation coolly. She slid her hand in mine and squeezed which did nothing to calm my wrecked nerves.

"We definitely sure would! She the sweetest, more caring person in the world and I'd be so lucky to call her mine." She leaned into me and gave me a nudge but all I could do was stare at her, eyes wide and brows raised.

Her deep brown eyes locked onto mine and I swear I could feel the spark between our gaze. And what was that I saw in her eyes? Longing? A hint? I wasn't sure but I could've sworn there was something else I couldn't quite decipher. Then again, I didn't really trust my thoughts. If it could make me believe we were actually a couple, why would I ever trust it in this situation? How could I?

I'm not sure how long we were staring at each other 'cuz to me, it felt timeless. We only broke apart when we heard someone making a retching sound.

"Gross! Go get a room," Lauren said as she walked towards us. "No one wants to see two lesbos in action."

I felt her hand fall out of mine and suddenly, I felt very vulnerable.

"You don't have to be rude!" Iris defended.

"Yeah, Lauren, no one asked," Toni agreed.

Emma spoke up. "Go away, Lauren. No one wants you here." She said it in an almost tired manner. She was done with putting up with her and it showed.

"Aw, protecting your lesbian lover? Cute," Lauren rolled her eyes and walked away. "Whatever, later, losers!"

"Don't listen to her," Toni said after Lauren left.

But how could I not?

"Hey, Ava?"

I could hear the sweet voice of best friend calling out to me but it was distant.

Everything was. I didn't feel like I was in my body. All my senses were numb and I felt nothing. Nothing except the raging white heat within me. I was having an out of body experience in the worst way possible and for a moment, I didn't feel human.

~*~*~

Then Ava was definitely different from Now Ava. Then Ava wanted to cry and run as far as she could. But she couldn't. She was paralysed with fear and embarrassment. Now Ava would've just laughed and called Lauren pathetic. Maybe even give her a nice slap across the face if she felt like it. But Now Ava wasn't Then Ava, so why dwell on the past?

The thing is, I didn't want to. But like that dull throb at the back of your skull after a concussion, I just couldn't ignore it. You tell everyone you're fine, and for the most part, you are. But that annoying sensation, constantly reminding you aren't, that you just couldn't forget. That was that moment with Lauren.

Her words played in my mind on repeat for the first week after hearing it. Months later that voice was softer and less frequent, but it was still there.

A lot happened in those months. The biggest of all? I finally accepted that I was gay. No, not gay, a lesbian.

That word Lauren had spoken with a jeer, the word she used to insult me, the word that was meant to humiliate me, I was that word.

That wasn't the only time I heard it used that way but it was the first time it was used against me. Lauren's words was a constant reminder in my mind that being a lesbian was an embarrassment, that I was an embarrassment.

Then Ava would feel a chill run up her spine when she heard that word even though it wasn't directed to her. And when it finally was, her soul left her body but of course, that would've been too easy. Her soul leaving her body would've been the easy way out. So instead, she was forced back into reality and had to find a way to deal with it.

Now Ava knew it wasn't a bad thing. Of course she did, she was one, after all. So why did Lauren's words still haunt her?

I still had to remind myself that it was okay. It wasn't gross or immoral or whatever nonsense they put into my mind about girls liking other girls. And every time I did, the madder I got. At everyone that has ever said anything about it and at myself.

Because how dare they tell me how to feel?

And how dare I listen to them when I knew it wasn't true?

I was at peace with it now. I was at peace with being a lesbian. But being at peace wasn't the same as embracing it, owning it. And I'm not sure if I ever will, but I hope I do.

I wasn't out to anyone, and god, I've never felt so suffocated in my life. I couldn't even tell Emma 'cuz I was afraid of how she'd react. Or worse, that she'd assume I have a crush on her. And the worst part, that it was true. That I couldn't even deny it.

Not being able to tell your best friend whom you've always told everything to made me feel like shit. It ate away at me every time I was near her and whenever we were talking. I always wanted to bring it up but I never found out how. Maybe I will soon, but not now.

Emma had always been understanding. Even when she didn't get it, she would try. She wasn't quick to judge nor did she so easily jump to conclusions but I couldn't help but think that maybe, she wouldn't be so understanding. 'Cuz that's what you do when you overthink. You worry about things that you shouldn't and you create false scenarios and you just, can't, stop.

Which was exactly what I was doing right now.

I sighed, catching myself before I could spiral any further and rolled onto my side, staring out of the window with my phone abandoned on the bed.

It started drizzling and it was getting pretty cold. I moved to get under my comforter and wrapped the sheets around me.

And once again, I closed my eyes as my mind began to wander.

If only Emma was by my side...

~*~*~

"Oh my god! Ava! Stop!" she would giggle as I showered her in kisses.

"Nu-uh!" I'd respond and wrap her up in my arms, still kissing her wherever I could reach as we rolled around on my bed, playing.

She'd try to escape but since I'm stronger than her, it's useless. She's trapped in my embrace and eventually, she'd give in and hug me back.

We'd laughed about silly inside jokes as we let our hands linger over each other's bodies, not wanting to let go.

I'd pull her tight and she'd rest her head against my chest as the rain outside got heavier.

I'd shower her in compliments and she'd blush. We'd talk about life, our hopes and dreams and ambitions. Our plans and future together.

"Would you still be with me?" I'd ask her.

"Forever and always, baby," she'd reply and give me a reassuring kiss.

We'd waste away the rest of the day together and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

~*~*~

But that was just fantasy. She's not here and I'm not ready. Not ready to come out to Emma, let alone confront her about my feelings for her.

I took a deep breath before opening my eyes, as if I were physically preparing myself to come back to reality. I glanced at my phone screen that was opened at her chat. I picked my phone up and got ready to type but I hesitated.

Should I do this?

I didn't have much of a choice though, 'cuz my phone rang and lo and behold, my best friend, my crush, the girl I fell in love with, appeared as the caller ID.

My heart sank but my stomach filled with butterflies. This conflicting emotion wasn't a rare occurrence ever since I fell for my best friend but that didn't mean I was used to it. Fear and excitement coexisted where it shouldn't which only left me with a familiar uneasy feeling.

I only stopped for a moment before hitting the 'accept call' button.

"Hi!" I heard that cheery voice of hers ring from the other side of the phone and I could feel my insides warm.

Hey, yourself." I smiled. "What's up, Em?"

"Nothing much, I just feel like we haven't talked that much." She paused for a while before adding shyly, "And I miss you."

The warmth spread to my cheeks. "I really missed you too."

I heard her giggle and god, was it the most adorable sound ever. "Good to know. What have you been up to?"

Figuring out my sexuality and pining over you.

"Nothing much, just the usual." Liar. "What about you?"

"Just been thinking about you," she said casually and my heart fluttered.

I cleared my throat. "Any interesting stories lately?"

I heard another heavenly laugh. "Too many!"

She jumped right into it, not stopping once and honestly, I never wanted her to. Her voice in my ear was a comfort and I held onto it for as long as I could.

We talked and laughed for hours and I didn't even notice until I glanced at the clock on my wall. Time passed too quickly whenever I was with her, I always felt like it wasn't enough. It never was.

But then again, an infinite lifetime with her would still feel too short. 

"And then, Mack ran out of the house with our dad chasing her in only his towel and shower cap with his back scrubber!" she laughed unrestrained, not holding it back and lighting up the entire world with it.

"Oh my god!" I laughed along with her. "How did she even pull that off? I can't believe I missed that!"

"See? This is why you should come over more often!"

I didn't know how to respond but it was fine because she started speaking again.

"Wow, I didn't realise the time! I should probably head to bed."

"Yeah, me too," feeling disappointed that she was gonna hang up soon even though I let out a yawn. "But I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"For sure! Good night, Ava."

"Night, Em."

"..."

"..."

"Are you still there?" she asked me.

"Uh, yeah?" I replied. "Put down the phone."

"No, you!" She giggled.

I smiled from hearing it. "You!"

"Ugh, fine! Bye."

"Okay, bye bye."

"..."

"..."

"Hello?"

"Emma," I breath out in a light chuckle. "Go sleep."

"Okay! Okay, for good this time, bye."

"Bye," I laughed and before I could stop myself, I added, "I love you."

And I shot up, frozen in place. It wasn't what I say, it was the way I did. Soft and vulnerable and definitely not just a friend proclaiming her platonic love to her best friend.

I heard Emma suck in a sharp breath as if she caught onto it too, and the line went dead silent.

"Ava-"

I heard her whisper but I pulled my phone away from me as if it was poison eating away at my flesh and hit the 'end call' button, tossing it beside me. I didn't hear her finish her sentence and I wasn't sure if I could handle it if I did.

Shit!

I hit my palm against my face and slid it down, groaning. How was I gonna face her tomorrow?

Just then, I heard my phone go off. The ringtone I had set just for Emma played and I swear I felt my heart stop.

Nervously, I glanced down at my phone to see the notification that popped up.

'I love you too <3'

Warmth spread through my body and I let out an involuntary grin. I fell back onto the bed with my arm covering across my face.

I glanced back at the message and made a high-pitched squeal that I never in a million years thought would come out of my mouth. Leave it to Emma to make me do things I normally wouldn't.

My heart raced in my chest.

She may not have meant it the way I have but it didn't matter because hearing her tell me she loved me was all I needed.

That was another thing about having a crush on your best friend; the I love you's were up for interpretation.

I placed the phone on my chest and let my arms sprawl out on the bed. Whatever sleepiness I had left my body, there was no way I could go to bed now.

So instead, I let my mind roam but this time, willingly. I let my thoughts free fall through a million different possibilities as the night turned to day. 

I watched the sun rise.

And I smiled.

Because falling in love with my best friend was messy and complicated and heart-shattering. But it was also full of excitement and exhilaration and anticipation.

It was rollercoaster of emotions, full of ups and downs and twist and turns and even loops, but that's what made it thrilling. And for the first time in my normal life, I had something to keep me on my toes.

And I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Was my best friend also in love with me? I didn't know. Would I ever know? Maybe, maybe not. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little curious to know how she feels, be it good or bad. Maybe someday I'll ask her. Maybe I'll get to hold her. Maybe she'll never speak to me again.

But until then, all I had were the stories I've made up in my mind.

(More fics!)

[animatedrapture]

I HAVE GASOLINE LAYING AROUND IN MY HOUSE AND IM OMW TO SET KANA ON FIRE :))))

ok im about to compile possibly like 10 chapters worth of kana hate KJHLDSDJS

so. sorry i wasnt able to respond to so manyyyyyy of these on time and all, i get overwhelmed super easily but i truly, truly love all of you and appreciate each msg :DD these have all either made me think real hard LMFOAHJSKD or had me laughing so hard and gasping lmfao. but yeah, i appreciate all of these and everything i mightve never gotten bc tumblr asks is dumb as well as the ones ive still yet to come back to or answer. almost each and every single one of these have been a guidance with what i wanted to do with the smau, whenever i wanted to switch something up or make something better in the smau, your msgs helped a lot in improving it in some way and helping me figure out what i truly wanted to do with the smau and for that, thank u!!!

Anonymous asked:

FUCK KANA ALL MY HOMIES HATE HER HANA SPILLED HER DRINK ON HER? SHE DID THE RIGHT THING ALSO FUCK SUNA BC EVEN UF HE HAD SEX WITH YN AND SAID HE ADORES HER HIS ACTIONS/AFFECTION TOWARDS KANA GIVES MIXED SIGNALS AND ITS TIME HE GET ACCOUNTABLE OF SAID ACTIONS sorry for the rant 🥴

Anonymous asked:

the “tw kana” absolutely sent me into orbit i cackled 😭

Anonymous asked:

anons bonding over kana hate🤝🏻🤝🏻🤝🏻

Anonymous asked:

yeah its only you who doesn't dislike her FGHDJGKUJ IM KIDDING no but really more than hate her its hate the way shes in between like it pisses me off the cockblock she is 😭😭

Anonymous asked:

if i were kana,,,i would either tell him i still have feelings OR hurt in silence (step back) since technically he or should i say they decided to be JUST bestfriends not cockblocking the possibility for him to be in a relationship

Anonymous asked:

kana has to make a choice: she confess or shut the fuck up bc as far as we know they decided to be just bff (highkey think suna was more into being just friends and kana kinda lied) so IF he likes someone else why the fuck try to sabotage him (his happiness with someone else) when he find it out then what? would he still keep her as a friend? 🧐

Anonymous asked:

What if I just...shift or whatever you guys call it, into As Friends universe...and bonk Kana on the head...lol just kidding...ah ha ha ha No please she is starting to sound like the girl best friend that would make couples break up because she does not care about boundaries...honey, you're the best friend, yes, you're important, but that's his girlfriend...stay in your lane. Lol like "I don't want to confess" but "He's mine so I have to get rid of all competitions" lol fucking clown yeah no, I don't have to wait for you to write more about her to make me hate her sksksksksk I already do

Anonymous asked:

Ayo istg kana's been giving y/n the stinky eye... if she stares at y/n like that one more time LAWD HELP HER SOUL, im coming for her eyes!!! But fr,, Rin better treat y/n right and put kana in her place. Bc y/n got a best friend too (samu) u^u and he can cook and would treat her good.

Anonymous asked: likE I KEEP SAYING eAT SHIT KANA

Anonymous asked: I am CRAVING IMMENSE VIOLENCE bring that girl kana here lemme knock her teeth down her throat. >:(

Anonymous asked:

kana (derogatory)

Anonymous asked:

istg if a bus doesn’t hit kana i’m gonna do it

Anonymous asked:

kana toxic best friend it’s time for suna to realise IT 😤😤

Anonymous asked:

kana has family problems only rin knows about? what in the ao haru ride manga 😐

Anonymous asked:

WHY KANA FUKC

Anonymous asked:

NAH MY GUT FEELING TELLING ME KANA WAS BAD NEWS SINCE THE BEGINNING also she wants suna all to herself (he sees her as a bff) but doesn’t say shit to him... if course he’s gonna find someone in the future whether in college or after (unless the bitch will still to his ass even when he goes pro)

Anonymous asked:

everyday i wake up with notifs from u i feel like im about to get subjected to pain and IM RIGHT THIS TIME TOO what the hell kana u will never be yn (me) 🙏🏼🧇

Anonymous asked:

bro part of me wants to punch suna so bad bc like hes so awkward but so smooth like who tf do u want stop being a smooth ass mf u know these two bitches like u

Anonymous asked: i might just obliterate everyone named kana cause of as friends THE WHOLE TIME MY EYE WAS TWITCHING CAUSE OF HER FUCK KDDSKDLSDK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO OBLITERATE HER SAY "I" but like hi! i hope youre well

Anonymous asked:

even tho u always insist you'd never het mad at me girl HUHH i used to be genuinely good w kana now she's just a manipulative bitch :// kana babe sorry but ur best friend is allowed to spend time with other people 🙄

xmyshya asked:

I 👏 love 👏 Hana 👏 Also 👏 fuck 👏 Kana 👏 and Rin you idiot, what do you mean he's not gonna pursue dating T_T it's just a few chapters till the end T_T wut T_T

yourstarvic asked:

Kana needs to back up before she gets beat up 😤 me and my homies ain’t playing no more 😤

Anonymous asked:

omg that ur probably mad (even tho u said u’d never get mad at me!) broooo

Anonymous asked:

kana gonna get even more territorial in the next chapters im getting kinda scared to see how rin reacts 😒 shes gonna lowkey (highkey) manipulate rin like oh u said youll never leave me you said i come first and all that mhmmm girl dont make me break your neck 👎🏼👎🏼

Anonymous asked:

huh so is kana basically a pick me girl

Anonymous asked:

“you’d be selfish abt this” girl

Anonymous asked:

why tf kana gotta ask yn bro u don't know her just ask suna directly 🙄 putting her in an awkward ass position how's she supposed to say no i'm sorry kana's being annoying as hell rn

Anonymous asked:

it’s time for kana to realise: - yn aint just a fling bc suna is spending more time with her - suna clearly sees her just as his bff

Anonymous asked:

Kana saying "I was worried you'd be selfish about this haha" well bitch now I gotta be 😒

Anonymous asked:

“i was worried you’d be selfish about this hahaha” -the one who’s for the streets kana better watch herself…y/n was being kind, i will not be

Anonymous asked:

DID KANA REALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK US?????? TO POSTPONE OUR PLANS WITH RIN???? pls that « you understand, right? » was just so manipulative oh my god-

Anonymous asked:

kana can go cry & write to her diary about it 😘😘

Anonymous asked:

“y/n right?” after literally meeting her plssss

Anonymous asked:

miss kana is just gonna have to miss him a little more bc i'm not canceling SHIT!!

Anonymous asked:

kana is playing chess while we’re playing checkers

Anonymous asked:

everytime you post and kana gets fucked over my day is made and it all I'm going to think about

Anonymous asked:

im catching up on as friends bc i havent read a few chapters and kana saying “arent you just with yn” made me extra angry go trip down some stairs kana

Anonymous asked:

u made my week with the update 😭🖤 i hate kana sfm lol

Anonymous asked:

kana suffering either way the story goes? I'm in -🦄

Anonymous asked:

kana n suna need to grow up lowkey it’s very highschool

Anonymous asked:

WHOEVER SENT THIS I AM CHOOSING VIOLENCE who's in, let's go beat kana-🦄

Anonymous asked:

hELL YEAAHH GET FUCKED KANA /neg

[steponmepinkjun]

hey sara! have you ever had a what i like to call "feminity crisis"? I am super confident in myself that i identify as a woman on the girly side, but sometimes being tall (especially for where i live) has me questioning the way i see myself.

i always wonder what my personality would be like if i wasnt often called "intimidating", "overpowering" and so on

when im alone i genuinely forget that im tall and can just be myself, but when im around people im constantly reminded that im not what i think i am in my head :(

im forever wondering when im gonna stop wishing i was smal and cute

So much to unpack here. I'm gonna be using gendered and very broad/general language because I'm in a rush, on mobile, and also lazy. I'm also gonna put it under a cut cause not everyone wants my musings on their dash lmfao

Simple answer being yes. I'm tall, I've got broad shoulders, I've always had a very loud and boisterous personality once I get comfortable, I've always been VERY opinionated and not cared who knows it. I've also been told all my life that I'm "intimidating," as a reason for why I have never attracted much romantic attention, as well as a reason I have a hard time making friends, or a reason that people don't like me.

But the thing is this. I am not intimidating. I am not rude or nasty or scary, I do not have "resting bitch face," it's not my job to perform happiness for others' comfort. There's nothing intimidating about my height or my broad shoulders or my loud voice, I just simply do not fit the pedophilic female ideal of tiny, dainty, quiet, submissive, hairless, and wrinkle free—I am not a child, and I am not a sex doll. Being smart, being opinionated, being loud, none of those things are bad. I am not "too much" just because I take up space, and neither are you. I exist, I deserve to be seen and heard, so do you. My femininity is not derived from making myself as small and unimposing as possible, neither is yours. If someone thinks I'm intimidating, it's not because I actually am—I'm not intimidating, they are intimidated. And that is their fuckin problem, not mine. People who aren't interested in pulling me down don't find me intimidating. They're not threatened by my greatness.

Anyone who makes you feel like you're too much is simply projecting their own issues into you. You don't have to make yourself smaller so that others can feel better. It's not your job to hold space for how others perceive you. And it's okay to be intimidating! Being small and soft and sweet is great, if that's what serves YOU, if that's YOUR truth, if that's YOUR reality—a lot of times we're led to believe that obliging other people above ourselves will grant us happiness, niceness, or acceptance, but whether that's true or not, I think there's often more reward in changing our world to benefit us, rather than changing ourselves to benefit the world. You don't need to be "small and cute" to be feminine. And fuck people who say differently. Who cares if you're tall as a skyscraper? You can be cute as you wanna be towering over me! My perception of you, or anyone else's, has no bearing on how much respect and love and kindness you deserve. No one gets to take from you so that they can have more.

As for wondering who you would be if you weren't always being undercut by others, you absolutely can access that person and cultivate them within yourself. Just little things like asking your true inner self what you want and need, and really listening, can help you start to make that shift. Anecdotal communication here, but I get that feeling—I sometimes wonder who I would be if I hadn't been bullied/punished out of all interests, hobbies, habits, coping mechanisms, self-soothing behaviors, etc at a very young age. The answer is that I don't know, but I'm not dead yet, so I can change that, I can align myself with things that serve me now. I can choose not to keep people around if they make me feel like shit, I can allow myself to access all the behaviors I was bullied out of with acceptance instead of shame, I can give myself the space and kindness I didn't get from others. And slowly you start to change and create more and more for joy, and less room for all the other bullshit. Your personality without always having shite chatted in your ear would probably be pretty similar to your personality now, just with less shame. Speak up and set boundaries. It's not easy, but it's as simple as saying, "Hey, I actually don't like having my height brought up as a negative, please refrain from doing that or using words like 'intimidating.' It makes me uncomfortable." Boom, clear boundary set. I tend to gently pull someone aside and go, "Hey, friend. I actually would really prefer if we could avoid conversations about dieting or weight when I'm around, okay?" Because if I don't tell them, they can't read my mind and just know that I don't like it—I have to give them the room to make corrections in the future, in a gentle and non-punishing way. They can choose to respect it and stay in my life, or they can relinquish their space in my life 🤷🏻‍♀️ If people disrespect my boundary, I'm just gonna leave the conversation. I'm walking away. If they can't commit to respecting that boundary, they're not my friend, and we don't need to interact. You can always become the person you wanna be. And hopefully, you'll find a way to exist as your authentic self without shame. ❤️

Also, honestly? Maybe buy some killer heels and stomp on people's toes more often 😂

[hopeshoodie]

I feel so bad letting this sit for so long, but better late than never I suppose! Thank you to literally everyone who tagged me in this. Literally every time I see these posts it makes me grin like an absolute dope at my phone. This is one of the best fandoms I’ve ever been in. I know I joke that I’m just sitting in my corner making garbage, so thank yall for making the room my corner is in so lovely.

So here’s a shoutout to the people who made my 2020 better. If I’m following you (from my main @hyperspacial because despite being on tumblr for nearly a decade I still hardly know how to run a sideblog) I 100% like you. I’m sorry if I forget to tag people :( Also this is about to be a long ass post- don’t feel obligated to reply or like or whatever just because you’re tagged :P

@garyandhisnan. I just…. I adore you. Highkey would walk to the ends of the earth if you asked. Your writing, your posts, everything is top notch (and you’re an awesome person to boot which like… shouldn’t be allowed). Thank you for letting me rant about American late-stage capitalism and all the other nonsense I flood your inbox with. If yall aren’t following them, go do it now.

@deuchess  

@ariendiel Why you would want to collaborate with me, ME, of all people? Still astounds me. I pinkie promise we’re gonna do it though, and it’s gonna be so good. I’m so excited. But seriously, your fics are some of the only ones that I can keep coming back to. Your writing is *chefs kiss* and your edits/moodboards are literally so pretty. I love your blog and I cherish you, you slut cheat.

@kiki-the-creator same brain saME BRAIN SAME BRAIN how do we have the exact same brain!? Your fics literally are the best thing this fandom has produced- I come up with these half baked concepts, you make them actually good, then I play dollhouse with them over and over again in my head forever :3 That Erikah fic? Literally every Marisol fic you write?? I love them. Also you’re highkey so funny and ugh. Te adoro.

@bubblelaureno you’re literally too good for me. For real. I’m sorry I’m so shitty about keeping up to date with fics and edits, you deserve way more than my shitty memory and my 2 second long attention span. Your blog is literally a beacon of positivity and it’s absurd how much I admire your drive and your analytical way of thinking. This fandom is so lucky to have you.

@codename-mango controversial yet brave opinion- your blog is the best LITG blog on tumblr. Your headcanons, your jokes, your route overviews? All immaculate. Even your reblogs are the best of what everyone else is posting. You’re the only reason I have notes, and I appreciate you sm.

@oneflewoverthecuckoos my comment to mango is controversial only because if not her, then your LITG sideblog for sure. For a ‘Lucas’ blog, the diversity of content and LIs you talk about is refreshing. I fucking love seeing people talk about non-LI characters.

@inthenewblood thank you for letting me bitch about the reddit oml it’s needed. Also having someone to be salty with? A new but not unwelcome experience lmfao

@noahssidechick you are literally so sweet oml I treasure our chats and the pictures of your dogs. You bring such a chill and earnest vibe to the fandom and ugh, I’m so glad to have you.

@fuseboxmusebox I feel like you’re so consistent in the fandom, like you were here when I first joined and you’ll be here after I inevitably lose interest and leave. Your reblogs are top notch, the takes are even topper notch, and it wouldn’t be a ‘litg blogs that made me happy’ list without you.

@crvsh-culture I will never not sing your praises. I love your blog, I love you perspective, I love your vibe. I consider you a friend even though we’ve talked like… once.

@radiantdae your artbreeder edits were the first thing in the fandom that left me genuinely astounded. Like holy shit they were so good. Kassam??? That was a REAL MAN. Obviously the stuff you post now is really good too and your blog is excellent. But tbh when I think of the LITG fandom, the first think I think of is your artbreeder pictures. Also your ‘filipino words that make me think of the islanders’. I still think of that often. 

@therealityofthematteris seeing you in my notes makes me smile every time. That’s basically all, just needed to say it lmao. Also if anyone has almost convinced me to start playing TWC, it’s you and Seliné.

@bellarxse my dash would be dry af without you. Same with TWC- I’m so tempted to play because of your posts (I have it downloaded on my phone but like…. I haven’t finished a single route in Arcana and starting a new thing is overwhelming). But also your prompts are one of the few things that makes me want to write lmfao.

@lahelakoh I feel like I’ve said it before but your posts SEND me oml. The tiktok references, the chaotic energy. Both the taste and the flavour is immaculate.

@kiwi-tai we haven’t talked that much but oml I love your content so much 15/10

@confused-inalltheways-human you’re literally so cool and I think about that Harry fic all the time. Am I ever gonna get around to writing it? Probably not. But it was such a good idea. Also thank you for lighting up my notification.

@oceanatydes you come here, you post literally spectacular content, and then you peace out like bruh I wish I had your mind. I adore your edits, but my favorites are your posts/headcanons.

@voile-de-lune your aesthetic is everything I aspire to be and your headcanons/edits are such a refreshing take on characters that we’ve all gotten so stale with. I still live for that Rahim moodboard you made. Also your headcanons are so fantastic.

@lasswithumor this fandom desperately needs more Carl stans, thank you for doing the lords work. Also I highkey stalk your blog on a regular basis jsjsjsjsjsjs every chat we’ve had has been lovely and ugh, you’re just lovely

@bobbysapron your vibes are literally so immaculate. I know it’s been awhile since we chatted but I highkey adore your content and ugh. You’re such a cool person.

@beebips I feel like you’ve vanished off my dash, but you made up for it with that 3rd chapter of The Other Side of Seventh Ave made up for it.

@nerdferatum I don’t think I’ve ever breathed a word in your direction but oml you’re so sweet and supportive and every time your posts cross my dash I *pleading emoji*

@mrsgaryrennell I’m still agog that we’re mutuals because like… You are so talented. It took me waaaayyy too long to get into Blue and Hazel but now that I have… It’s highkey better than the actual season skskskskss

@kingkassam Like the above, you are waaaayyy too cool to be following me sksksksk. I’ve still got a few edits you had ideas for in the pipeline, and highkey the Kassam icons you requested are my favorite edits I’ve ever made. I live for someone else playing Matchmaker.

@hermitclaw  hello?????? You’re so funny what the FUCK are you doing following me. Ik you don’t post that much anymore, but every LITG you grace us with is a knockout. It feels unreal when you reblog my stuff. Basically the same to @mchamster. Like you’re both so funny and have been in the fandom for so long that it fully feels like royalty whenever yall interact with me.

@ravenadottir I am fully unworthy to even mention your name but oml. Your guides are the only thing that help me retain information about the season, and your recent outfit edits? Oh my god they’re so good. Hope’s especially, with the brightly colored swimsuit, left me absolutely speechless. You’re just above everything in the fandom and I admire that so much. Plus you really don’t have to flex that hard in your fics, and yet-

@smaiihands saving the best for last because you are one of the single most talented people in this fandom. Your art is the strongest life support for the fandom and like I know we haven’t talked in awhile but you’re also such a dope person. So.

And a big shoutout to all the people I follow who I don’t talk to but have nothing but good vibes. I appreciate yall way more than I can articulate: @richhdesire @needsomesorrel @ficticiouspastry @cranesandshipyards @litg-ish @princesslove19060 @fictitiouspastery​  @icedcoffee-please @demons-dogs-and-puns @sparklydinosaurr @mountainmanxoxo  @diamondsdiary @bucket-bill@another-lottie-simp @bobbys-darling @cyn-onlyyou @mikcove @officialpapa-johns @Amaxn @dxncingthroughlife @myfictionalobsessions  @screw-u-vaanu @kittidot @chichiguitarist123 @myfictionalobsessions @Azibear @amelia-w @lilithlibrxa @litghoe @priyas-tiddies @daisybarks @ajs-wife

At this point this post is just a directory of the LITG fandom lmfao but genuinely. Thank every single one of you. 2020 was hard as shit, but I’ve been hyperfixated on LITG for like a year and I treasure your content sm.

[wallyaxiom]

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴: 𝙵𝙰𝚅𝙾𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝚂

hey besties it’s me coming to do the waltmeme thing. I couldn’t just pick one character to call my favorite. it also felt unfair to do that as well when there’s so many amazing characters here. so grab a snack, put on your favorite tangled song in my honor and buckle up as i go through the list of my fave characters here at walt each person plays. present gen only. sorry to my next gen faves. maybe one day i’ll write a list for you. or not. i’ll keep you on your toes. 

𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕣𝕒 𝕛𝕒𝕘𝕖𝕣

cassandra is a character i love so much. tangled is a movie that means everything to me. kiara is the person who understands my tangled feels. the way you play cassandra...like how you said i have a grasp on reagan, you have such a perfect grasp on who cassandra is as a character. her voice is so clear. you understand who the character is and have transformed her into something more than what was given in the bio i wrote and also in the show that’s used for inspo. she’s a spectacular character and i love her so much. it’s an honor to be one half of elssandra but also cassunzel. she’s such an amazing character. you should be so proud of what you’ve brought to life, kiara.

𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕔𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕖𝕟

listen i told you every day how much i love monty. i literally scream it to you in your living room sometimes. i’ve seen every iteration of monty but i think this one is my favorite. i didn’t even know lightning’s real name was montgomery that was all you. so much of yourself is in monty. it reminds me of myself with wally and i think that’s the biggest reason why i love monty is because he’s bits and pieces of you and i love you very much. as much as i love cocky era lightning i love dad lightning even more. i wish i had a dad like him i’m not gonna lie but we’re not gonna unpack that on the man lmfao. i’m glad i’m more enveloped in his story now because he’s such a good character dude. like such a good written and played character. he’s second in my heart to sulley but is inching closer to number one by the day. 

𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕠 𝕓𝕖𝕣𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕚

fran !!! my bestie !!! my fave !!! i would die for them !!! like bee, i love talking to you about fran and all the tomfoolery they get into. you’ve played them for so long and each time you transform them into something better than the last. they age like a fine wine. in the past almost two years i’ve been able to be part of their story more & i’m so happy for that opportunity. you’ve put so much love, care and devotion into fran. you’ve added so much to their story. like they’re so fleshed out, how does your beautiful brain come up with all this backstory ??? lemme know i need some of those brain cells. they’re amazing. you’re amazing. i want fran to buy me and island and make me pasta but i’ll just them do that for caspian the favorite child. 

𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕓𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕨

hands down i had to put orion my future father in law. i’ve had the honor of watching you develop orion into something incredible over these past six years. ( holy cow !!! six ??? insane. ily ). he was a big bad, misunderstood boy and you’ve humanized orion. you’ve brought life into him and created such a beautifully crafted character. he has a heart now. perhaps a tiny one but it’s there. the backstory you’ve created for him and the future he has - all stunning and wonderful. i love this man. he deserves so much after the shit he’s been through. i’ve had the privilege of being in his orbit for a bit when i played logan. I still get to watch him and enjoy the light chaos he brings. i’m ready for the new era of casino owner orion and what trouble he’ll bring now. 

𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕘𝕘𝕪 𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕤

the boy !!! the legend !!! i love shaggy so much. first of all, the future you planned for him. how dare you ?? do you like to see me cry ?? is that it ??? i’m glad he hit his happy arc now because WOW. pain. shaggy is just a nice guy, man. he’s so nice to everyone he meets. i want to be friends with shaggy and scoob. i love mystery inc. i can’t imagine anyone else playing shaggy but you. to me, you are him. he’s the heart of the group. it’s not mystery inc without him. therefore, you’re the heart also. it’s not the same without you. 

𝕤𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕖 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕖

i could easily write an essay about how i love all your characters and how you play them all so well but i had to give this spot to sadie. the teagues are my og loves. every time i see sadie the part of my brain where logan resides lights up. she’s such a good character. she’s a little devil and it’s exactly what we need. we need someone to stir up the pot and throw eggs at kids. sadie is a product of her environment. she’s so tough and had to be so young. no one her age should have to grow up so fast the way she did. i would like to wrap sadie in a blanket give her some coco with bat marshmallows and tell her to take a break. hug her. maybe give her some therapy to. i love her. you’ve brought her to life in such an amazing way. i hope her brothers join her soon so we can have that sibling goodness. 

𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕒 𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕒

i was tempted to put ian here because ian lightfoot is joel and we already know how much i love al and wendy but i decided to show the og love so i put nala. from the get go you knew who nala was going to be and where you wanted to go with her. you always bring so much to your characters. you develop them in ways that amazes me each time. go bestie go you’re so talented. i love how devoted she. how fierce she is but also the vulnerability you bring to her. she was thrown into a world at a young age fighting a war she wasn’t meant to and THAT’S a lot on someone. and we see that. i love the way you play her and i’m so happy you decided to take her up. sorry you have to deal with simba tho. pour one out. 

𝕘𝕖𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕩𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙

everyone and their grandmother knows the oliver and co cast means everything to me. i’m so glad that you decided to join them ! you’re a wonderful addition. i love miss george. she’s fabulous in every sense of the word. sharpay evans is shaking in her lil boots. i just love divas. i love them. i am one. she’s perfect. and we know that’s not easy for her. i know your beautiful mind works wonders so i know there’s a lot of growing that georgette will be going through in the future and i’m excited for it. prayer circle for a jenny and oliver. 

𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕓𝕚𝕟𝕩

when you auditioned for thackery you already had an idea of where you wanted to take him and how you wanted to add to his character while staying true to the bio. that is the kind of stuff i like to see. this man has seen some shit and also has been through some shit. i do hope one day his soul can be at ease. he needs a long cat nap. you care a lot for thackery and it’s lovely to see. he may be a hamilton hoe but we have to respect the drip & love him for it anyways. 

𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕣

timmy boy deserves a hug. a hug and a nice space movie to take the edge off. you always put so much of your heart and yourself into your characters. you care so much for them and that’s evident in buzz. he’s goofy, he’s cool and he’s just so wonderful. i’m excited to see where buzz will go from here and how he’ll develop over time. i’m hoping some happiness. maybe some resolution with woodrow just to spice things up. that metal arm is still cool too. 

𝕕𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕟𝕖 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖

hey bestie !!! wow !!! daphne ??? gives me so much pain. I am so glad to be going on this angst journey of mystery inc and fred/daph with you. your love for her and the gang makes my heart so happy. i will happily spend hours talking about them and sending tiktoks to each other that remind us of them. you went beyond the assignment. you were just born to play daphne. you write her so well and understand her past the bio, past the inspirations of the live actions and mystery inc. you get her. you see her. she’s in good hands. i’m ready for all the pain she’s about to cause me. 

𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖

i love penelope. i really do. i am penelope’s number one stan. it was discussed before but it’s so easy to play miss piggy as unlikeable since she is such a brash character but you bring so much light and love to penny. it’s hard not to be in love with her and want her to succeed in everything she does. she’s the miss piggy we all grew up with but she’s also special because you’ve added your own personal touches to her. she’s an amazing character. i would punch anyone who’s wronged penelope. i’m excited for the layers to start peeling back and we see more of penny - especially her badass ways. i just love the way you play her and i love penelope hainline okay. i lovoe divas as stated above what can i say. 

𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕣𝕒 𝕔𝕒𝕡𝕦𝕝𝕖𝕥

ANNIE !!!! WOW AURORA ??? genuinely she is the love of my life. I love her so, so much. she’s so sweet and wonderful and deserve to be tucked in ??? read a bed time story ??? and not be cursed ??? why’d i do that. she deserves the world and so do you. in the short amount of time you’ve had her you’ve added so much depth to her story. which is not always easy the first few months you have a character but you’ve put in a lot of love into aurora already. you understood the assignment and & went beyond.  i’m so excited to see where she goes on her journey and what will happen when he hopefully get a maleficent one day. also is it an aurora shoutout without me saying philip loves her ??? bc he does. 

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!