#or exploiting the work of mad people and acting like it's their own. or using their lived experience as a way to justify the harm that

[trans-axolotl]

so im going into therapy (or social work, more broadly) as a profession (in school rn). i know that not everyone in anti psych would support that, understandably, and im not under an illusion that therapy isnt tied to the whole system and process. but i want to bring a liberationist, anti-racist, pro-mad, and abolitionist ideology to help who i can

do you have any suggested resources or reading recommendations or idk any insight on how to inform the way i go about juggling anti psychiatry in a profession that is considered going hand in hand with it?

Hi anon.

I think there can be ways that people working in the psych system can leverage power and resources in a way where they're acting in solidarity with psych survivors and mad people, but in reality, this very rarely happens, even among professionals who identify as radical or as having lived experience.

Fundamentally, the psychiatric system is one that perpetuates structural violence, and in smaller and larger ways, anyone who works within the system to legitimize it contributes to and is complicit in that violence. So I think that for anyone who is planning to work within the system, you need to be upfront with yourself that there is harm occurring and that isn't something you can just ignore or act like that's something you're separate from. Even if you're not working inpatient or facilitating forced drugging of someone, there's still a lot of ways that therapists can be complicit in psychiatric violence.

One of the most obvious ways is through mandatory reporting. I believe that in order to be an ethical therapist you must break the law--mandatory reporting is a dangerous way that mad people are surveilled by the state, and therapists must work to interrupt that and prevent it. There are a lot of therapists out there already talking about practical ways to avoid mandatory reporting and how to be upfront with clients about it, and I can link some of that at the end of this post. I won't say it's always easy, but we have an obligation to each other to do everything we can to stop psych incarceration from happening.

I think there's a lot of ways that even outpatient, therapists are asked to enable other forms of psychiatric violence. Even if in your practice, you're really focusing on liberation, respecting autonomy, etc, there are ways that other psych professionals might try to get you to help them perpetuate different forms of harm. And because of your degree and licensure, there's this power imbalance between you and your client that means you do have the power to enable these kinds of harms. The degree next to your name means that you will always be believed over your client and that is a lot of power to hold. If you're working with a client with an eating disorder and their dietitian gives an ultimatum that they have to be hospitalized or they're refusing to provide care, what do you do? If your client's psychiatrist is refusing to answer questions or let them switch to other types of medications, what do you do? If your client is involved in a court case and you're getting subpoenaed for their medical records, what do you do? If your MSW program requires you to do one of your internships in an inpatient program, how do you prevent that from happening? There are a lot more examples I can think of, but these are just a few things I wanted to highlight for ways that therapy is still entangled in the larger system.

Another thing that feels important to me is to make the distinction between being a "good therapist" and helping people, because I don't think those things are the same. I see a lot of "radical" therapists get fixated on this idea that they need figure out ways to make the psych system run smoother, to improve access, to overall make the psych system better, and that this is the only way to help people. It's really important to be able to separate those ideas. For me, psych abolition is a project of building up our capacity to care for each other while destroying the systems that currently enact violence on us, and reformist ideas about expanding psychiatric systems, increasing funding, and legitimize psychiatric authority gets in the way of actually transforming care. I think in order to help people, you need to commit to being a "bad therapist" in the eyes of a capitalist healthcare system.

One recommendation I have is to read Franco Basaglia's writing and learn about his approach of the democratic psychiatry movement. As a psychiatrist, he saw his role as a way to disrupt the system and deinstitutionalize. He has this quote where he talks about how they weren't focused on eliminating problems, but rather on how deinstitutionalization would create more chaos and new problems--and how that created so much possibility for transformation. I think he's proof that there are certainly ways that psych professionals can act as accomplices who actually are in solidarity with psych survivors, but it's rare.

Last point I have is that although you gain something from professional training and licensure, there's also a lot you lose. MSW programs often don't actually teach you the skills you want to learn about how to actually support people--there's a lot you're going to have to learn from continuing education credits. From my friends who have gotten their MSW, I've heard a lot of complaints about how surface level a lot of information is, and also about how a lot of the way that information is taught reinforces hierarchal ideas and doesn't respect patient autonomy. I'll also say that gaining licensure oftentimes creates barriers for radical action--I've seen so many therapists who then become so attached to holding onto and not losing that licensure that they weigh it above mad people's lives. I've heard so many therapists say "Oh I can't speak up against restraint because I'll lose my job/I can't ignore mandatory reporting because I'll lose my license/etc etc etc." And I think that can be a really damaging mindset that harms your potential to actually help people. There are several therapists I know who are in the process of intentional de-licensure because of this, but regardless if you pursue that path or not, this is a mindset you need to be on guard against.

All that being said, I think there is a need for more abolitionist therapists who are able to help support our communities, both in terms of creating that space for individual support and on a collective level. There are ways that you can leverage your access to resources and the way you're seen as legitimate in the system to help advocate for people, get them support, and interfere with psych violence. I have a therapist comrade who keeps working in inpatient psychiatry specifically so that they can continue to sneak in banned materials to the ward, prevent illegal restraints, be involved in court proceedings as an advocate, connect people to mad liberation resources, let psych patients use their phone, document psychiatric abuse with the plan to fairly soon release that information as a whistleblower, and more that I'm not going to talk about publicly. They still grapple with the fact that they are currently perpetuating harm at the same time, but to them, it's worth it to be able to sabotage things in that way. And I think that there are ways that you can take the information you learn in your program that is actually useful and find ways to bring that directly to your communities, and that there is good you can. I just think you have to be very intentional and aware of what it takes to actually do that, rather than just staying complacent with the label of being a "radical therapist" without doing anything to make that true.

For resources--here's my psych abolition drive with a lot of different zines, books, workbooks on different psych abolition topics. I really would recommend reading Psychiatry Inside Out by Franco Basaglia as an example of successful psychiatric resistance.

I would also suggest checking out Mutual Aid/Self Social therapy--the people who created this project are trusted comrades of mine, have both gotten their MSW or LMFT, and they have a lot of helpful insight into how to navigate things like avoiding mandatory reporting, de-licensure, etc. They have a discord server and also have regular online MAST meetings to train people on what MAST is and how to set up a MAST collective.

Genuinely wishing you the best of luck through school and appreciate that you're actively thinking about these things.

[thelikesoffinn]

„Astarion ending as the Vampire Ascendant is the correct ending for him, because it is what he wants.”

That is a claim I’ve been seeing pop up more and more often these days. And I think it’s both a very bold and a very odd claim to make.

But first things first: Hello, I’m a licensed social worker! So far, I’ve worked with children, refugees and youths with behavioural issues stemming from bullying and or abuse.

Please be aware that I will be mentioning different kinds of abuse, coping mechanisms, and victim/abuser relationships. If any of this is difficult for you, don’t force yourself through it. My jabbering about a traumatised vampire is not worth your wellbeing, not ever.

I will, however try to stick to Astarion and not use other examples. If, in any case, I do use a non-Astarion example, I’ll add a warning beforehand so that you can skip the part. And I’ll make it clear what will be discussed in the next bit, so that you have a chance to skip it entirely.

This is an effort to make this as accessible as possible for everyone that wants to indulge on a mad woman’s rambling – and I know there’s a few people that like this sort of stuff!

And, uh, there's obviously spoilers for all three acts. Serious spoilers, even.

Before I can get into the whole ‘why Astarion didn’t really want to ascend,’ we need to understand him a little more. And to understand this pretty boy’s brain, we first need to understand the gist of what we’re talking about when we throw around the word ‘abuse.’

“Abuse” is when someone is treated with cruelty, violence, or neglect – often to bad effect – on a regular basis. Repetitively. Check’s out for Astarion, I’d say, but we all knew that already. I mean, if one thing was obvious, it was this.

1. Astarions Abuse

Next we need to look at what kind of abuse Astarion faced over his long years of torment, seeing as different types of abuse will have different effects on the victim.

Not that that is anything we have to worry about with him – Astarion won the abuse lottery, to put it bluntly. In a horrible game of fate, he got everything. He himself indirectly mentions all the types of abuse he faced, albeit never using the correct terms.

The first we properly notice – fitting, seeing as it is often the most obvious form of abuse – is the physical abuse. Astarions scars are probably the biggest tell Larian could shove down our throats, only underlined by Astarion’s tale about the night itself. About how Cazador ‘misspelled something’ every time he flinched or screamed and had to do ‘many corrections. On top of this, Cazador locked Astarion up for months on end and tortured him – or had him tortured – on a regular basis both as a rite and as a punishment.

Next up, we have the fact that Astarion was forced to basically prostitute himself repeatedly. This is what we call sexual exploitation.

“I spent two hundred years using my body to lure pretty things back for my Master.” – Act 2

Two hundred years is a long time, filled with great many people. Now, we don’t know how many of those people actually tapped into the sexual exploitation and how many he could just lure back with other means, but the fact that it happened a lot is undeniable.

Next we have a form of abuse that we often disregard in adults: Neglect. It sounds odd, I know, saying that a fully grown adult was neglected. They can care for themselves, can they not?

Well. Yes and no.

Adult neglect is proceeded by the condition that one adult has to lean on another adult to fulfil their needs for whatever reason. This could be anything, from disability to income-based issues.  

Seeing as Astarion had absolutely nothing, while Cazador had everything, we can assume this was the case. Cazador had the house, the money, the power. Astarion owns but one pair of clothes, assumedly, that he has fixes over and over again. Fair to say, that’s pretty neglectful. (And it’s one more reason to shower the guy in pretty armour and camp clothes. Go ham, people.)

Last we have the form of abuse we actually get to witness later in the game – emotional abuse.

Once again, it’s undeniable that this happened. Especially since we’re all seeing it in the flesh upon meeting Cazador in his crypt.

“Have you no respect for yourself?”

“I strove for perfection in all things. Even those as imperfect as you.”

“A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts.”

“A pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything.”

All Act 3, Crypt

Here we have just a few examples of things Cazador throws in his face. It’s like reading a textbook on emotional abuse, this one (and it’s definitely a reason to throw hands).

Blaming the victim, keeping their sense of self and their self-worth as tiny as possible to make them cower and flee. A true classic.

This pretty much shows that Astarion suffered all forms of abuse we commonly see and it is implied – once again by Astarion himself – that at least a few of those instances were ritualistic.

Now, what does that mean exactly? Well, I fear I need to use a real example here, so please skip the next paragraph.

Ritualistic doesn’t refer to a proper ritual – it can, but that’s mostly a thing for those in a cult. So, we’re not necessarily talking about a ‘Vampire Ascendent Ritual’. A husband, beating his wife every evening after his third bottle of beer is also called ritual abuse. It happens regularly. It is part of a routine. Both parties know what will happen.

I can’t find the exact quote, so I’m working of my memory here, but at one point he said that when Cazador invited him to eat and he said yes, he would be served a putrid rat. If he said no, he’d be beaten.

The way it was phrased made it clear that it happened more than once and that Astarion clearly knew what would happen. So, this can be classified as ritualistic abuse.

2. A Note on Conditioning and Compliance

By default, abuse victims are conditioned to behave a certain way or in a certain fashion. This is a natural response to avoid further abuse.

In Astarion, the thing we see most often is his inherent need to please. Not literally, he doesn’t mind being an arsehole. But he initially feels the need to follow Tav’s orders, even if they go against his own wishes.

This can be clearly seen in the conversation with Araj Oblodra. Astarion very clearly doesn’t want to bite her. He doesn’t. But he will do so, if Tav tells him to. This behaviour is not conscious – he doesn’t know why he does it, he just does – and it is to be expected. This is how he kept himself save for two centuries, so of course he will fall back into his usual pattern when the pressure is high.

This goes hand in hand with the fact that most abuse victims don’t fight. Maybe initially, but not after long term abuse. Especially not after two fucking centuries.

This is true in Astarion – offered by his ‘siblings’ during act 3 and unhappily acquiesced by the man himself. Astarion stopped fighting and, once again implied, cowered, and did as he was told in order to survive.

3. The Astarion we know and love

Obviously, all that abuse does have an impact on our vampire boyfriend. He shows various common signs of abuse and just like with the forms of abuse, Astarion raked every coping mechanism he could find. (Not really, but it feels like it.) It’s also important to note that nearly all of the following things happen inwardly. Astarion is not one of the victims, that tries to rationalise and minimise the actions of his abuser. Quite the opposite, actually.

I’ll note from the beginning, that rationalisation will not be covered in this bit, as most examples will be important later on. But he definitely does it.

One of his biggest skills is to hide every ounce of fear or hurt behind sarcasm and snarky theatrics. He doesn’t seem to hide his anger much, though, so that’s something! Our boy is cool with anger, not so much with being afraid.

“Ahahaha, now that you mention it….I might have done…that.” – Act 3, regarding the Gur children

“The thing that will decide my fate forever more? Yeees, it’s been on my miiiind. Why?” – Act 2, regarding the Ritual

And there’s many more instances that prove this. Honestly, half his dialogue is sarcasm, so it would really be too long to get into and we all know what I mean, right? We have alltalked to the guy before. It’s obvious that he’s sarcastic to a fault.

This goes hand in hand with his penchant for defensiveness. I would personally state that he’s simply not really good with guilt. When talking about fear, he usually just opts for sarcasm or avoids the topic completely, but guilt especially has his defences going up. This is also when he’s most likely to shove all the blame off to Cazador.

“Don’t look at me like that. Cazadors orders.” – Act 3, Crypt

“I just did what I had to!” – Act 3, Crypt

And don’t get me wrong, he does that anyway. And with good reason. Astarion didn’t have a choice for the most part, but he’s still easy to shove things off.

This kind of connects to his penchant for denial.

Astarion doesn’t really like to talk about most things. He firmly believes he is an ‘action’ sort of person that just does instead of plans, which invertedly just means he’s great at pushing the thinking stuff away. He also likes to get rid of stuff, so that he doesn’t need to face it ever again.

“I never want to see these little scraps of misery again. The world doesn’t need to know my shame.” – Act 3, about the children

And yes, this partly rings true. He’s probably ashamed and doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s done. But it’s also very clear that he himself simply doesn’t want to face his own actions, something that is just  underlined by his extreme willingness to red rid of the other spawn.

As mentioned by Astarion himself, he’s big on manipulation. I mean, I don’t think there is much explaining necessary. The guy is willing to do a whole lot in order to get what he desires – which mostly revolves around safety and survival, to be honest – and he’s not really shy about it either. And that’s despite the fact that he doesn’t really like intimacy – especially in form of sex.

It’s not a secret that Astarion is not big on sex and anything surrounding it. This goes far enough for people to consider him either ace or ace coded.

A claim that, personally, I’m not super in line with.

Now, it’s not entirely wrong and if this is your head cannon I’m surely not going to stand in your way – but on a larger spectrum, I think he’s more traumatised than ace. And while those go hand in hand sometimes, it’s a bit difficult for the ace community if you attach traumatised characters to them because it can fuel a whole lot of stigma that is honestly neither needed nor wanted. But I digress!

If it comes to his own behaviour, he’s great at minimising his mistakes. Honestly, he’s a master of minimisation. A very obvious and famous example would be:

“’Killed’ feels like a…strong word. Not many corpses have your vigour.” – Act 1, after killing Tav

Astarion. You literally sucked poor Tav dry and left them flopping around, cold, and dead. Killed is exactly the right word and we all know it.

“Quite the deviation from my usual routine. Capture, not lure. I didn’t bring them in with sweet rolls or anything.” – Act 3, Gur Children

This is another attempt at minimising what he did, if a bit less obvious because at this point there isn’t much he can say. But at least he didn’t sexualise the gur children, right? They’re still spawn but whoo, at least that didn’t happen.  

The next point would be dissociation, which is extremely common in abuse victims – of all forms of abuse.

Astarion himself mentioned certain moments that could be classified as dissociation over course of the story, which is probably the coping mechanism I personally expected the most.

The pale elf has a penchant for violence, but he’s not entirely shameless or abhorrently vile, which gets clearer the more the story progresses. So, two hundred years of forced prostitution, torture and doing whatever other horrible things? Yeah, I’d be more surprised if he didn’t dissociate.

Examples of that would be:

“A moment of disgust to push myself through and then I could’ve carried on, just like before.” – Act 2, after Araj

“I felt nothing the moment I handed them over.” – Act 3, Gur Children

“Did you enjoy it? It felt like you weren’t fully there.” – Act 1, Tav after Sex

The latter is generally more of an assumption than actual prove, but with context it does make sense.

The last common sign of abuse we find in our boyfriend would be his low self-worth. It’s a consistent trait that stays over the course of all three acts, noticeable in many different conversations.

We can see it in his reaction to wanting to break up before finishing his story. We can see it in his genuine surprise when Tav picks him over any of the other characters. We see it in his insecurity whenever Tav asks to sleep with another character. He’s fine with it, but he still worries their decision to sleep with someone else is based on something he did.

It eases up ever so slightly after Cazador is dead, but even then he’s still struggling which is once again perfectly illustrated if you try to break up with him.

“Oh shit. I- Did I do something wrong?”

That is the first thing he asks and I think it speaks for itself. He genuinely doesn’t believe he has much to offer and for Astarion, it’s likely that Astarion will always be the problem.

4. "Oh, I tried them all none of them answered.”

Another big thing that’s important to note, is that Astarion was never saved. No one came to save him from Cazador. There was no darling boy on a white steed riding into that castle to rescue him and princess carry him away. Not even the gods answered his desperate calls.

So, he never received any kindness or luck. To him, the world seems as cruel and horrid as before because he didn’t have the chance to experience goodness in two centuries.

But worse than that, he didn’t even get to save himself. Astarion didn’t stand up to Cazador, he didn’t run out of his own might.

He was beaten to near death and ‘saved’ by Cazador, who would become his abuser.

He tried to save someone and, in turn, was locked up and starved for an entire year.

He was abducted by mind flayers, i.e., saved from Cazador, only to end up tadpoled and on the cusp of getting a fancy, squiddy beard.

Anything that’s good, any kindness, any selfless action…it all came with a ginormous price tag.

5. Over the Course of the Story

Astarions behaviour changes a whole lot over the course of three acts – which is important once we talk about his quests climax – so let’s review what we’re working with!

Act 1 Astarion is guarded as fuck. The man has walls around him that are so high, even the gods can touch them.

A lot of his behaviour in act 1 revolves around staying save and staying liked. He lies, manipulates, and flutters his lashes in order to get what he wants and needs. Instead of asking, like Wyll, Karlach and Gale do, Astarion uses all he has to offer to get by. He is still very much in survival mode and tries to weasel his way through an unfamiliar situation with familiar methods.

On top of that, and most notably, he’s absolutely not fond of kindness or selflessness.

#I saved a child and now my boyfriend is mad

Here, we are most likely to gain disapproval for doing the decent thing – unless you sent him outside for a minute whenever you’re being a good person.

And I’d assume that this is because of two things.

First: The very traditional ‘Why not me?’

As I mentioned before, Astarion wasn’t saved. He hasn’t experienced kindness in a very long time so seeing that the world is literally filled with kind people is hurtful. Why didn’t anyone save him? Why was he left to his own devices for so long? Why should he care about others when it’s so clear that no one ever cared about him? No, dead to all of them. If he didn’t get it, neither will they.

“And what am I owed? What about the injustices I suffered? Am I not entitled to anything?” – Act 3, Crypt

“I was in the prime of my life when I was turned. Everything was taken from me too.” – Act 3, Crypt

And secondly is the fact that, as I mentioned, goodness always has a price. And it’s one most people won’t be willing to pay. That’s how his life has been, so why would theirs be different?

This is precisely why Astarion may disapprove of kind actions, but he mostly neither approves nor disapproves if Tav asks for payment. That’s just how the world works.

Once you venture out into act 2, after getting to know him a whole lot more, he starts to mellow a bit – if only towards Tav.

“He’s afraid, so afraid, of everyone but you, who she should fear the most.” – Sceleritas about Astarion

His approval is a lot easier to gain – or at least keep! – and he tends to approve of some more proper actions. He doesn’t throw a fit if you promise to find Mol, he approves of Tav being kind to His Majesty, of saving Aylin and he even approves of Durge apologising to Isobel after threatening to rip her to pieces.

He's slowly starting to open up, allowing Tav to see some parts of him he previously kept hidden. He accepts their offer to help, if hesitantly and, by god, the man starts experimenting with boundaries.

The social worker in me is shedding tears at this. It’s my favourite thing to see in my clients and it’s no different here. Yay to saying no!

Of course, it’s still a bit hit or miss. If Tav urges him to bite Araj, for example, he will only to later notice that he didn’t fucking have to. He recognises this on his own and he calls Tav out on it. Just like he calls them out on not helping him with his Orthon quest.

Good job, chap. Good fucking job.

And the growth-train won’t stop going even as we reach act 3.

In act 3, there’s not many things he disapproves as of right now – those he does, mostly have to do with how Tav treats him and not with anyone else. In fact, he’s more likely to approve good behaviour now, like giving Yenna food or money.

And yes, we need to consider that this could simply be because he gets used to Tav’s behaviour and just learns to roll with it. But it’s also highly likely that he notices that there’s truly good people around. At least one person. And that person is not only good, no, they’re in the process of helping him break free once and for all.

They’re helping him save himself.

By act 3, he has learned that he can absolutely say his piece where Tav is concerned and he’s more likely to disagree with them on certain things. It’s seen during a lot of small dialogue that he’s no longer terribly afraid to be honest with them, willing to listen and talk and he’ll ask for help if he needs it.

“I can do this. But I need your help.” – Act 3, Crypt

Something that can be viewed both positively and negatively is that he’s definitely loyal to a fault. He will stick by Tav’s side, no matter what.

“I really hoped we could avoid being pawns for a dark god, but here we are, I suppose. I’m with you, my dear, wherever this might lead.” – Act 3, After Jaheira confronts durge

As I said, this can be both positive and negative. On one count, it’s a recipe for disaster, seeing as he could be waltzing into a really bad situation for Tav alone.

But on the other side…this is a man who only cared about himself because that is the only person he could afford to care about. He needed to survive. He now has enough room to breathe and the capacity to care for someone else and I’d be inclined to count that as a good thing.

6. The Crypt

All the progress he made in act 2 and 3 is nearly tossed into the wind as soon as the crew enters Cazadors castle.

It’s not an immediate thing, of course.

At first, Astarion tries to stay light and simple and he hides behind flippant tones and relaxed faces. The way he recounts this is almost comically disinterested and the façade is actually quite good.

It’s start’s cracking after we meet Godie, one of the people who tortured him on more than one account, but he mostly manages to remain as upbeat as one can honestly expect for the first half of the journey.

All that, however, is done for the very moment we meet Sebastian. His mask not only slips, no, it full on shatters and there’s none of his apparent lightness left.

Which, of course it does.

The man is suddenly faced with years and years and years of victims. Innocent, unlucky people he lured back to his master over two centuries. People he liked, people he pitied.

“It’s sickening, seeing them again.”

It’s basically a room filled with guilt, exclusively for Astarion. And, as we mentioned before…Astarion is not great with guilt.

The guilt, however, is not where it ends.

No, he’s also faced with reflections of his own past. The spawn pose as reminders of what he did, sure, but also as reminders of what he was.

Weak, desperate, hungry.

There’s an abundance of images of his worst moments, reflected back at him in the thousands. It’s probably like staring into a funhouse mirror, but instead of seeing yourself in a funky way he just sees everything he so desperately doesn’t want to be.

“It should be [who I am]! I don’t want to be like them. They’re pathetic, horrible…”

He’s forcefully made aware of how darn weak he can be, which claws at all the wounds he’s barely had time to close. Something, he of course won’t admit if asked.

“THEY DO NOT [remind me of myself]. That weakness in me is dead, IT’S DEAD. I have a higher purpose.”

The high pressure of the moment brings out all of his act 1 traits in but a few moments. You can pretty much watch how he starts to shut down mid conversation, one of his old walls snapping back into place to remove himself from the situation.

Thing is though, walls usually become a bit brittle after disuse. Especially when talking to a person you don’t usually want to wall out.

Or, in his case, when talking to Tav.

After meeting Sebastian, Astarion shows extreme reactions to Tav nudging any of his weak spots. His reaction varies on whatever choice you make, but it ranges from aggression to defensiveness, to denial and even to downright begging Tav.

“Don’t hate me. I just did what I had to. I swear I did what I had to.”

This probably the most shocking out of all of them, since that is not something we got to witness before. The begging is likely a mixture of intense fear of losing Tav, his low self-esteem and pre-Tav behaviour, since we can assume that Cazador made him beg more than once.

Another old coat he puts back on would also be the least surprising of them all.

Manipulation.

He falls right back into it, using Tav’s affection to get what he want if we trigger the right action.

“If they die and I ascend, I won't have to rely on the parasite to walk in the sun. I'll be free. Truly completely free. Isn't that what you want?”

This, to me, was probably the biggest tell that Astarion was back in survival mode. He’s panicking, for fucks sake, and who can blame the guy? He’s back. He’s about to face down his abuser.

Of course he’s fucking panicking.

Panic leads to an increased craving for safety and, in his case, power. This is why he clings to Tav, why he begs them to love him still. And this is why he jumps head first into the rationalisation pool.

“I will need to sacrifice them all if I want to perform the ritual. - [You can save them.] – What’s the point? They're as good as dead! I thought they were dead. If they are unleashed, they will cause incredible carnage. […] They must die. Better they serve a purpose.”

Another textbook example.

They must die anyway. They’re basically dead. No need to save them now. They’re dangerous, I’m doing the right thing by sacrificing them. I already thought they were dead, so it’s not changing anything for me. They’re a lost cause and I deserve  all this power. I deserve it, because I suffered and nothing will change if they die.

So, seeing as we already spoke about his usual behaviour in act 3 – behaviour he showed after we allowed him to breathe and be himself for a while – I think we can fairly easily conclude he’s not thinking straight.

Astarion is right back in survival mode, where all that matters is he himself. If it weren’t for the seven thousand spawns, he might have moved through this more gracefully, but seeing those tipped the scales and Astarion is absolutely losing it.

Remember that for the last section, per favore.

7. The Ascension

“Astarion wants to ascend and Tav manipulates him into doing what they want.”

That is basically the essence of what people often claim and I can’t help but shake my head at such a blatant disregard of everything he has become. This is completely ignoring the change and growth he has gone through over the course of their journey.

Astarion wants to be free. He wants to be safe. That does not mean he wants to ascend.

And the claim that Tav manipulates him into doing anything is even more baffling. We are all aware that Tav is not manipulative by nature, yes? That is entirely on you. You decide who your Tav is.

And then let’s remember: Astarion is panicked. He’s afraid and he’s not thinking straight. His abuser is on his knees before him and he still feels so weak. And there’s seven thousand spawns that need handling.

Astarion is very much not okay right now.

In fact, reading his thoughts just proves this theory.

“You can see the fear in his eyes but also the hunger. The thick smell of blood in the air and the promise of power being so close is intoxicating to him. All he can see is the power of the ritual and the freedom that power brings. The freedom to do anything. To be anything.”

Tav, however, has none of those problems. They can actually see beyond the current situation and they are fully aware what the consequences are. Astarion is not. As we previously established, Astarion is a doer. Not a thinker. He didn’t think this through, not at all.

The only thing Tav is doing – the persuasion roll – is reminding him of the very real consequences he is facing. The consequences he hasn’t thought about before.

"I know you think this will set you free, but it won't. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador."

And that is the kindest thing Tav could do in this situation. They’re not bodily dragging him away from Cazador. They’re not even telling him to not do it. They’re just offering him the truth. He can do with that information whatever he desires.

“Astarion cries when he doesn’t ascend, that just shows that it was the wrong choice.”

A hare-brained point that I thankfully have only seen once so far.

That crying? That is healthy crying.

That is him, crumbling under the stress that suddenly dissipates. That is him mourning two hundred years of torment. That’s him letting out feelings he hasn’t been able to for centuries.

And, for the love of god, try to put yourself in his shoes.

Two hundred years of torment, ended in but a moment.

Astarion was abused and tortured for so long, afraid for so long only to see his tormentor die just like that.

Cazador died within a moment and all Astarion needed was a darn blade. Of course he fucking cries.

Seeing how pathetic a being the very core of your life’s misery actually is hurts. It hurts like hell because not only are you finally free – free! – no, you’re faced with the fact that this pile of nothing, the thing that’s bleeding out right in front of you…this was what tortured for so long.

This thing hurt you so much. That guy took everything from you, everything you once were, and broke it again and again and again over years.

You were so scared of this thing.

And yet he has the gall and the gumption to die just like that.

It was so easy.

And yet you suffered for so long.

8. Evil Playthrough?

An evil playthrough is really a different setting altogether.

All of this, as you can probably tell, is really only applicable on a good playthrough. Realistically speaking. I’m not sure how the game mechanics handle it.

On an evil path, Astarion never really gets to experience kindness and goodness. Evil Tav will just prove him right in his believe that the world is a vile and cold place, meaning that he realistically would be more inclined to actually want to ascend.

9. Final Conclusion

I think all of this should be enough to make it clear that no, ascended Astarion is not the best ending for the guy. In fact, it is probably the worst. Because it’s just him, running away. He’s running into a lonely and cold state of being, where cruelty and power lord over everything else and he’s running because he’s terrified of being hurt again. He’s running despite desperately wanting to stop running.

“I'll spend the rest of my life running watching the shadows, never feeling safe…no, this has to happen. Here and now.”

And, the worst part is: Nothing about Astarion is left after he ascends. Even his tone of speaking gradually changes, his theatrics fading. He’s slowly losing himself, until there’s nothing but an evil caricature left.

So, in the end, ascension will have proven him right.

That version of him is dead.

[babe-a-yaga]

What was done to Isseya is one of my personal biggest upsets with this game. I loved her in Last Flight. She's a genuinely interesting, complex character, and given the themes of mistakes and regret present through Veilguard, it makes TOTAL sense for her to make an appearance! What makes no sense at all is for her to be reduced to a two dimensional villain with no clear motivation who's just...doing exactly the thing she fucked up in life? Except worse? I'm gonna summarize the events of last flight for the folks who haven't read it;

The first griffin Isseya put through the joining was already blighted in battle, and dying from it. Quickly. Griffins are extra sensitive to the Blight and any attempts made to join them resulted in the animals going berserk and tearing themselves, and anyone else in range, to pieces to get away from what was now in their veins.

In a well meaning, but misguided effort to save one of the animals she loved, she used blood magic to alter the griffon's mind, to convince it the Blight in it's system was just a regular cold, and it didn't need to fight it, then put it through the joining.

It worked, but it changed the griffon. Made it stronger, fight harder. More difficult to handle. The griffon ultimately went out in a spectacular blaze of glory, and people didn't know what she did, just that she did SOMETHING, and that griffon did ten griffons worth of damage on it's way out.

The fourth blight was far worse, far longer than any of the blights we have witnessed first hand. I think it lasted like 15 years? And it was going badly for Thedas. They ordered Isseya to do what she had done to the first griffon again as a last ditch to stand a chance at I *think* Starkhaven (it's been a little bit since I read last flight, so I'm sketchy on dates and what battles were fought specifically when). She hated doing this, but it was orders, and it was exploit this handful of griffons or watch the world die. She's a warden, she signed up to stop the blight at any cost. In war, victory. In death, sacrifice.

By the time her brother Garahel slays Andoral, she's had to blight a number of griffons, and the constant blood magic use has massively accelerated the blight in her own body. Her brother garahel is this golden haired pretty boy beloved by everyone who looks upon him, and Isseya looks so much like a ghoul at this point people are uncomfortable being in the same room as her. Even though this is completely due to her service to the wardens.

Then, the remaining joined griffons start going mad. And then it starts to spread to the other, non-joined griffons. In using blood magic to convince the griffons the blight was just a disease, she had caused it to become one. A contagious one.

It's one of the most interesting examples of how dangerous blood magic actually is we ever see. We're just told over and over "blood magic bad, slippery slope to killing people. Bad. Even if you use your own." And we never really see explicitly why it's an inherently dangerous form of magic until this.

Back to Isseya though. Garahel's lover's Griffon had a clutch of eggs sired by Garahel's Crookytail. Isseya, knowing there was no stopping what was now in motion with the griffons, set out to do her one last act of penance. She took, and purified those eggs, hid them in a ward that kept them in stasis, so that they might only hatch once the griffons were gone, and this disease had died with them, so they might have a chance. And then she hid the clues to their location, and begged that whoever find them not let them be used by the wardens again.

And then she went on her calling.

These are not the actions of a villain. Isseya EMBODIES the warden principal of sacrifice. But it isn't glorious battle rewarded by a quick death alongside an archdemon for her. It's death by inches, by blight, knowingly and willingly accelerated in her own body to stop it from consuming the world. Sacrificing her ideals, the animals she loves, her brother, Garahel. Isseya gives it all for the wardens, to end the blight, and is not thanked for it or remembered kindly.

And she did everything she could to seed the slightest bit of hope, that both in spite of her and because of her, griffons might return to the world, as free creatures.

Her Veilguard arc feels like really egregious character assassination, and I wish she had been given an ounce of the sympathy that other characters had been given. It made sense for her to be here, thematically, mistakes and regret, and good intentions still leading to bad ends, but she deserved the same opportunity for forgiveness and/or redemption that Solas, Mythal, Cyrian, even Illario got.

Isseya was done dirty by Veilguard.

[kupidachillea]

What Yandere I think Ancient Greek mythology boys would be.

TW⚠️ General Yandere behaviour, biting, manipulative behaviour, clingy behaviour…mentions of self harm (not reader). Read at your own risk⚠️

Achilles:

🏺- I feel like if Achilles was a yandere he’d be more akin to the typical yandere. Jealous, possessive…almost like a land mine

🏺- He’s protective of you and wants your attention…only your attention. I think that speaks for itself about how this relationship would go.

🏺- He’s not overly touchy, but in public.,he has this weird thing about ‘laying claim’ to what’s his and making everyone know it..even if it embarrasses you…he’ll caress you thigh openly in public among other…things… he also tends to squeeze you into his chest and he has a thing for biting- and boy does it hurt..if you don’t stop him at times..you’ll be bleeding by the end of it

🏺- If you’re at home- he wants you in his arms. You’re sitting on the sofa? He’ll put you in his lap. You’re lying in bed? He’ll jump on top of you. And he’s heavy- so good luck getting him off of you.

🏺- despite his concerning behaviour..he truly does care about you..in his mind..you’re the only one that matters. He wants you to be with him for as long as possible..and don’t even think about trying to break up with him..he’ll find you.

Patroclus:

🌿- Patroclus would be one of those yanderes that aren’t openly a yandere..he’s more docile and less explosive. Though- he still has those red flags.

🌿- He’s a manipulator. Especially if you’re a sensitive and emotional individual- he’ll exploit that. Gaslighting you at times and telling you “I know what’s best for you, darling”. Yeah..not really the best part of this relationship.

🌿- He’s more touchy than Achilles. He loves to have his face nuzzled into your neck whenever he can..breathing in your scent as he holds you in his arms. Letting out a content sigh as he kisses your lips tenderly..but don’t let that tenderness fool you..he’s still got a few screws loose.

🌿- He’s the type of yandere to act calm whenever someone is trying to hit on you in public..usually it’s when you’re not around is when he finds that person and either beats them half to death or worse..he use to be a medic and warrior..he knows more than one way to put people through pain. Though It’d have to be very bad for him to immediately clock to that mode.

🌿- He knows you’ll never leave him..how pathetic of you to try.,you keep running back to his arms anyway even if you do. He’ll break you as many times as he needs to have you in his arms..he’s patient.. and once you do come back..either in tears for just looking like a sad puppy..he’ll pamper you and stroke your hair as he kisses you lips and whispers how much he loves you.

Perseus:

🛡️- This is a bit tricky..He’s like…an enthusiastic yandere..that’s how I describe it. He has limits on how far he’ll go..but that doesn’t mean he won’t do certain things.

🛡️- He’s not explosive like Achilles and he’s not a big manipulator like Patroclus. He’s a bit chill. He’s the one that is similar to being docile but at the same time his yandere tendencies will seep out.

🛡️- He actually warns you what will happen if you do A, B, and C. Because he doesn’t want to hurt you in any way..he just wants to have a loving relationship with you without any casualties. Occasionally he’ll get mad..but he’ll never take it out on you..never. Though..a few chains here and there can’t hurt..right?

🛡️- He loves to be with you..he’ll check on you at work.. on the street at home..any time really. He’s just trying to look out for you and makes his hit list anyway

🛡️- So far you’ve never had a problem with him..he’s not very overbearing..he’s smart in how he does things..you’ll never know what he does when you’re asleep..you’ve never considered leaving him..and he’d like to keep it that way..he wants to shower you with words of praise and devotion,

Orpheus:

🎼- Orpheus is what I’d call a clingy yandere. When he first met you..it took him awhile to fall for you but when he did and you both got together it was a done deal for him.

🎼- He’s so clingy..he doesn’t like to be anywhere without some physical touch involved. After losing his first love- he won’t lose you. He’ll never lose you..he’ll make sure of it.

🎼- He peppers your face with kisses in public that it makes even married couples jealous..dear lord. His words are sweet and filled with honey.

🎼- Sometimes he wishes he had the power to hypnotise you with his voice..so he could make sure that you’d stay with him forever..but I guess locking you inside will have to do..trapping you under his body as he cuddles you will have to be enough.. chaining you to the bed as you both sleep together is what he has to settle for…such effort.

🎼- Once when you tried to leave him, he literally got down on his knees and begged you to the point of tears to not leave him..he said how he couldn’t live without out you and how he’ll harm himself if you do leave him…you fell for his trap and stayed with him..having pity on this poor man. Perfect..he likes it when you break and ignore your better judgement for him.

[maybe-im-dark]

🔍 X-Men Origins: Wolverine & X Men 2 - The Cold Manipulation of William Stryker 🔍

Okay, let’s talk about the absolute MASTER of manipulation in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and X Men 2—William Stryker. If you thought this man was just another “mad scientist” villain, buckle up, because we’re about to dive into the layers of how twisted, manipulative, and downright delusional this guy really is.

1. The Ultimate Manipulator: Twisting Truth and Emotion

When Logan confronts Stryker about Kayla's death, we see the FULL extent of Stryker's manipulative skills. He doesn’t miss a beat—looks Logan dead in the eye and says, “I didn’t know it was Victor. I swear on my son’s life.” And for a second, you almost believe him, don’t you? Because he’s just that convincing. But let’s be real: it’s a complete LIE, and what makes it so twisted is that Stryker knows EXACTLY how to push Logan’s buttons.

The thing is, swearing on his son’s life means absolutely nothing to him. Why? Because he HATES his son. In the comics and movies, Stryker’s son is a mutant, and that’s a source of shame and rage for him. He despises mutants with every fiber of his being, even when it's his own flesh and blood. So, in that moment, when he swears on his son’s life, it’s not a gesture of sincerity—it’s an act of cruelty. He knows it’ll manipulate Logan into believing him, and that’s all that matters. Stryker doesn’t care about truth; he cares about control.

Key Point: Stryker’s willingness to use even the most personal aspects of his life as tools for manipulation shows how far he’ll go to get what he wants. He’ll twist any truth, exploit any emotion, just to keep people dancing to his tune.

2. Logan as the Ultimate Experiment

The moment where Logan gets the adamantium injection is the perfect example of how little Stryker values him as a person. When Logan’s heart and brain activity stop, there’s this brief moment where Stryker looks devastated—like he’s just lost something precious. But let’s be clear: he’s not mourning Logan’s death; he’s mourning the failure of his experiment. Stryker isn’t sad that Logan might be gone; he’s ANGRY that his weapon didn’t work. That’s what Logan has always been to him—an experiment, a tool, a weapon.

This man never cared about Logan’s humanity. He never saw him as a person with feelings, memories, or dreams. To Stryker, Logan was just another piece of the puzzle, another project to perfect. And the moment it seemed like that project had failed, Stryker wasn’t heartbroken—he was infuriated. That’s why he doesn’t even flinch when Logan starts to regain consciousness. There’s no relief, no joy, just the cold, calculating realization that his weapon might still be functional.

Key Point: Stryker’s reaction to Logan’s apparent death reveals his true feelings—Logan is nothing more than a tool, a means to an end. There’s no empathy, no connection, just cold, hard science.

3. Stryker’s Fantasy of Being a Hero

Here’s where Stryker’s delusion gets next level. He lives in this fantasy world where he genuinely believes he’s working with mutants to make the world a better place. But let’s be real—Stryker hates mutants. He despises them, fears them, and wants to control them. But instead of facing that reality, he convinces himself that he’s the “good guy,” that he’s fighting the “good fight” to protect humanity from the mutant “threat.”

It’s the ultimate form of cognitive dissonance. He’s not building weapons to protect humanity—he’s building weapons because he wants CONTROL. He wants to be the one who decides how history is written, who the heroes and villains are, and who gets to hold the power. And the most terrifying part? He actually believes his own lies. He’s convinced himself that he’s a hero, that his actions are justified, even as he tortures, manipulates, and murders.

Stryker isn’t just a villain—he’s a man who’s so deeply trapped in his own delusions that he can’t see the monster he’s become. He thinks he’s “saving the world,” but in reality, he’s only saving himself, saving his ego, and building a legacy on the bones of the people he’s destroyed.

Key Point: Stryker’s need to be seen as a hero blinds him to the reality of his actions. He isn’t fighting for a better world; he’s fighting to create a world where he’s in control, where he’s the savior, even if it means becoming the very monster he claims to be fighting.

4. The Warped Sense of Control

Stryker’s obsession with controlling the war against mutants isn’t about “protecting humanity”; it’s about rewriting history to cast himself as the hero. Every lie, every manipulation, every betrayal is just another step toward cementing his own power. He doesn’t care about right or wrong—he cares about winning. And that’s what makes him so dangerous. It’s not that he doesn’t understand that what he’s doing is wrong; it’s that he doesn’t care, as long as it means he gets to write the ending of the story.

5. “Only I Understand You, Logan” – The Offer to Join Him Again

In X2: X-Men United, Stryker tries to tempt Logan to join him once more, saying, “You were always an animal, Logan. I just gave you claws.” And there it is—the classic manipulation. He preys on Logan’s fear, his sense of not belonging, and tries to convince him that only he understands him, that only Stryker can help him find his place in a world that sees him as a monster.

But let’s be clear: if Logan had accepted Stryker’s offer, it wouldn’t have been a partnership. It would’ve been enslavement. Stryker would have used Logan’s power, his rage, his pain, and twisted it into something monstrous. He would’ve used Logan to kill his own friends, likely through mind control, and then basked in watching Logan spiral into guilt and self-hatred once he snapped out of it. Because that’s what Stryker does—he takes the broken pieces of people and molds them into weapons of his own making.

Key Point: Stryker’s offer to Logan isn’t about understanding him—it’s about owning him. It’s about taking Logan’s pain and using it as fuel to further his own twisted agenda. And the worst part? He’s so damn good at making you believe that he’s the only one who truly gets you.

When he looks at Logan, he doesn’t see a man—he sees a weapon. When he looks at mutants, he doesn’t see people—he sees threats to be eliminated or tools to be used. And that’s why he’ll never be the hero he pretends to be. Because a hero fights for people. A hero values life. And Stryker? Stryker only values power.

---

TL;DR: William Stryker is the ultimate manipulator, using lies, emotional exploitation, and self-delusion to control everyone around him. He doesn’t care about mutants; he doesn’t care about making the world a better place. All he cares about is control, power, and rewriting history to make himself the hero. He sees Logan not as a person but as a weapon, and his disappointment at Logan’s apparent death is the purest reflection of that. Stryker will always be trapped in his own fantasy, unable to see that he’s the real villain in his story.

[dootznbootz]

Hello. I honestly don't know how to prep this but uh, why do I feel like MM's Circe had so much potential? Like, MM did the lazy thing that is "making Circe's life a living shit show because that's the only way her actions would be justified" which... Is the annoying thing most modern interpretations do.

One good example would actually be EPIC: The musical. But in EPIC it only works because Circe isn't exactly a vocal point. And Circe having a motive plays into a pretty big theme of the show (Specifically in the song "Monster" where Odysseus is basically just... Contemplating everything)

But when you have 400 paged book, focusing around Circe, you have so much potential to focus more on the godly elements of these people. Someone else has said this before but ama say it too. The Greek gods had REASONS for acting the way they did. Zeus misused his power, that's what a king does. Artemis's wrath was unmatched when you wronged her, that's how nature is. Hades took a young girl from her mother, that's what death does.

And I'd like to add some of my own.

Aphrodite is a completely morally gray character, that's how love can be, it can go againts you sometimes. Dionysus was all over the place, sometimes good sometimes terrible, that's what madness is. Hermes is swift and a trickster because that's what people we deem 'messengers' can be like, via rumours.

When you notice these complexities to the characters, you start to realize. Circe misused her magic on innocent people for entertainment, that's what black/evil magic does. But at the same time, she helped Odysseus. Because even evil magic, or the 'worst possibilities' can be useful sometimes.

I think it is SUCH a missed opportunity MM didn't focus more on this aspect. Because that would've made for such an interesting story an unique story. Most of these modern retellings try to push modern ideologies on ancient works, which doesn't work. No retelling tries to tell these stories in a ancient Greek perspective (which is actually fairly easy you just have to do your research)

And with an author as skilled as MM is, I'm sure she could do it. But honestly, I don't think her writing is good in the perspective of Greek mythology. She could probably do a great modern story but let's face it, that wouldn't get as much money.

A story focusing around a goddess, and what it means to be a divine personification of nature and a concept, not to you but to the humans you exist for.You can really focus a lot on that and it could be such an interesting story.

All of these writers to me just seem like they're exploiting Greek mythology, which bugs me. If miller wanted to tell these stories, she would've told THE stories with her own twist. Not completely change them to the point they lose their charm.

If miller couldn't do that, if she wanted to write a complex feminist character she wouldn't have chosen Circe.

Something I really admire in your work is how you characterize these guys. It's obvious you're extremely passionate. I also love how you give Penelope clear flaws. You don't have to mortify everyone else to make her 'stand out' or to be 'more likable'. I really love your fic and I'm wishing you nothing but success in the future! :D

Anyways, enough about MM's book.

What do you think is one of Penelope's favorite little quirks od Odysseus', like something he does she finds really cute? :)

I hope you find pretty flowers today and get a sweet for free, dear anon. This ask made me so happy as it's like, perfect. As you gave a Circe rant that will be fun to dissect but also gave me a silly lil question for me to feast on and for the balance and the silly and I love it. You also sent it at the perfect time as I was getting a wee bit sad about how women from Greek Mythology get treated by retellings and fandoms. This really cheered me up 🩵

And thank you so much for the sweet compliment! It means so much to me that you love my silly lil guys as I love sharing them! And don't worry I am working on stuff! ;~; I know I'm taking a while but I am!

I'll do the cute stuff Penelope loves about Odysseus :P

(I do have them "mirror" each other a lot with "like-minded" so they often have SOME similar traits in some ways that both find endearing about the other. (both love watching the other brainstorm/think/swindle/winning/etc., both love (and are sometimes annoyed by) their stubbornness.) Stuff like that :D Also in general. Thank you, Anon. You've made me realize I've been going a wee bit too crazy with Penelope and kind of forgot about Odysseus.

1.) This is a past post that goes into it more but she just adores his freckles. She has counted them and memorized them. She's going to kiss every single one. He mostly has them on his face and shoulders but they are peppered a lil everywhere (he gets it from his mama). She uses the freckle pattern he has across his nose as "stars" for her tapestries.

Rando: Hey, that's not how the stars are mapped. Penelope: They're my stars, asshole >:(

She has to do a "recount" when he returns as some of his "stars" are covered by scars now :')

2.) She loves his hair and how well-groomed he usually is. He also is a bit like a cat in how he loves being pampered. (lil post about that) She loves scratching at his scalp and at the tiny hairs that are at the back of the neck. She loves the pretty grays he has when he returns as well :') She really loved how he looked without and with a beard. (It doesn't end up growing too long anyway)

3.) He's very warm. She's not really affected by temperature too much (she's used to freezing rivers and she herself is naturally cold. Her average temperature is colder than the average person. She only really has to worry about "drying up".) she loves his warmth. She wraps herself up in blankets while he's gone despite not really needing them sometimes as...she misses her furnace. (also his snoring) He also wraps himself in her blankets while away but sadly wakes up to them tossed about because he gets too hot. He needs his lil iceblock wife.

4.) She just adores his big laugh. The laughing so hard you cry one. Hearing it was kind of a "...Okay, I wanna hear that again." for her.

5.) He tends to bite his lip. Sometimes it's endearing and hot but he also will often rip at them. She tries to help him with this habit by distracting with kisses...Though with her teeth, it doesn't always help. Fun fact: For their first kiss on the lips, they were so stupid excited that he knicked himself on her teeth. She felt awful but he just kissed her again. It was bloody and bad but they were so happy. His bad habit returns when he's away because he's not getting his kisses 😔

6.) He whistles while he whittles often.

7.) So ancient Greece had yo-yos (probably in Odyssey but I'm getting silly with it)...and Odysseus is a nerd who WILL do tricks with them. (they can be made with wood and string so... odypen lol) He has fun trying to show other people how to do it too. It's a nice fidget. (modern day he would have definitely been that guy with that rubix cube lol)

8.) So Penelope is better at getting more for less, (lowering prices) and Odysseus is better at giving less for more. (selling shit for good things) They both can do it but they have their strengths.

9.) He got big eyebrows and with his weird "face shifting" thing he inherited from Autolycus, he can make a lot of silly faces.

10.) He tends to make sandcastles whenever he waits for her at the banks of rivers.

11.) He's a "heavy stepper" when he's not sneaking. It's not because of his scar. He just likes walking like that. :) Not so much "stompy" but she finds it cute that she knows it's him coming based on the footsteps she hears.

Some things that annoy her >:3

She's incredibly ticklish and he's not so much and he keeps doing it. STOP IT >:(

So she's smaller than him in mine and in general, he loves draping himself across her (he's like a cat remember?). Most of the time she loves that weight as she loves him and he's a warm weighted blanket. Though while she's strong, he'll sometimes be a brat and put so much of his weight on her just to mes with her. (mostly when they're young and dumb. not so much after he returns)

(Not this big of a size difference ofc but you know >:) )

Those are some and I have more rattling around in my head but I wanna finish this ask and I gotta do some shit :')

Thank you again, Anon. This made me happy <3

[shini--chan]

May I request a birth scenario for the 2ps. You can do either side first and make 2 separate posts.

There is one ask further up in my ask box asking for the dreaded birth scenario with the 2p axis anyway, so I’ll just be doing the 2p allies for now. Warning for implied non-con, manipulation & coercion. You’re reading this at your own risk.

Yandere 2p! Allies – Dreaded Birth

America

“Not like you have much choice, cupcake”, Allen lazily drawled from his place next to you. He had tidied himself up for the birth, and it was downright surreal to see him in a blue overall with a hairnet and mask. Exhausted as you were from pressing the baby out, you had nearly not recognised him for a moment.

“You are not the mother of that…”, you began weakly only to be cut off by him.

“Yes, I’m the daddy and you are the mommy and you’ll act the part. Taking care of another human being will be good for your mental health. We talked about this sugar. You are just acting like this because you just had a difficult birth and post-partum depression is already setting in. Plus, you’re anxiety is showing again.”

Allen would quickly see what you are up to and would do his best to stamp it out as soon as possible. He would have possible caught on to your true feelings on the matter long before the deliver would have taken place with how you would be more emotional and prone to lash out in the weeks leading up to the event. As such, he would have a plan in mind to deal with you.

Would either take you to a small country hospital or a hippy commune to have the birth. There, he would either know the people very well, letting him be the more credible person in the room, or it would be a group of complete strangers that wouldn’t care about your fate and therefore have no incentive to intervene.

Would likely give you a joint or cannabis tea afterwards to make you calm down. Promises would be made and he would have a serious heart-to-heart conversation with you, doing his best to sway you. If else, the carrot and the stick will have to do.

Canada

Sighing Mark turned to the midwife, asking: “Mind leaving us alone for a minute? I have to have a word with my wife.”

“Please don’t go”, you stated. “I don’t want to be alone with him.”

Cassidy, as she was called, looked uncertain between you and Mark, not knowing who to heed. She probably also sensed that something foul was afoot, having likely been in similar situations before, situations where not everything was as it seem on the surface.

“I had a fight with my honey-buns before the contractions started. With everything that happened today, she is probs more mad at me than she usually would be.”

“Alright. I’ll just be by the door. When you have finished comforting her, not hesitate to shout”, the woman said somewhat hurriedly, and then scurried out of the room. Typical – she just wanted to believe what he had said, because the alternative would be so extremely troubling. Now you were alone with the wolf.

Mark could do his best to construct the situation as just an unfortunate series of events. Though, because he wouldn’t be the most sociable and suave guys, he would likely leave opening that you could easily exploit. Taking with the nurse a bit or some other person witnessing the awkward scenes, and you could have a very willing accomplice that could help you escape and even testify in court.

Aside from that, would sit on your bed and do a long lecture, while holding the baby in his arms. Would chide you of disturbing the sleep of the little one if you would raise your voice and reprimand you for being so heartless as to rejecting such a cute and helpless thing that would suffer dearly without your aid. If it initially wouldn’t work, then he would have the following weeks to convince you.

China

Zao raised a thin eye-brow, a rather emotional gesture for such a stoic man. Or at least, for when he wasn’t under the influence of anything. Ignoring your protests, he shoved the baby in your arms, forcing you to take it unless the small tumbled to the side of the narrow bed you had just given birth in and smash its head open. The midwives had just finished washing the wax off the pliable body and swaddled the boy in blankets. After handing the father his child, they had all filed out doubtlessly in accordance to some preplanned schedule.

This China wouldn’t leave much room for argument. He would ensure that events would be framed to make sure that out of the two of you, you would be viewed as the evil doer. The people around you would offer you a lot of unsolicited advice on child rearing and ensure that would be doing your job of a dutiful mother. Should you fail on doing that, they would be the ones to lecture you and shame you. That could or couldn’t be Zao’s intentions, yet the outcome would be that you would feel the pressure more acutely, since it wouldn’t just be some crazed faux-lover telling you what to do.

It would be one of those circumstances where he would continuously invite people over, just to force you into the role of mother. Other’s would gossip and look down on you if you wouldn’t, after all.

All the time, would act as if you are not protesting against motherhood – shoving the child in your arms, leaving you alone with him and assigning you the role of primary caretaker. He is not going to feed the boy, would you let the kid starve? You know that you could go to jail for child abuse if you’d do so.

England

Oliver giggled softly, bright blue eyes shining.

“What did you say, poppet?”, he asked brightly. His appearance made you step back. He was covered in blood, your blood to be exact, seeing that he had played midwife.

You had hoped that the deliver would have meant that you would have been allowed to see other people. Sadly, he had deftly dashed your hopes by doing the task himself. It shouldn’t have surprised you – the mere notion of you in somebody else’ arms drove him berserk.

“Nothing, dear”, you answered quietly, feeling tears well up in your eyes.

Oliver wouldn’t hesitate to go full batshit insane if you would ruin his dream of a happy little family. He would desire, no require a sweet little life with a darling sweet wife and a cute tyke to be happy, so don’t dare tear that away from him.

If you would insist on being difficult, he would go one of two routs. The first one would be dragging you to his personal torture chamber, disregarding that you just gave birth, and torturing you a few hours. You would only be allowed out every once in a while for a quick clean-up and to breastfeed the child.

Or he could play the long game by turning the child you would hate so much against you. Then he would have an ally in keeping your behaviour in check. Perhaps, that route would be so much to his liking that he would force another child on you and repeat the whole process.

France

Francois carelessly snipped the finished bud of his ciggerette towards the rublish bin. It missed and rolled on the floor, vanishing in an arc behind the bin. Sighing for the untempth time this hour already and looked up at you. You were staring at the craddle with bitter contempt, as if the squeaking child had gravely insulted you. This was slowly going too far. Sure, he had would also be more peeved if he would be bleeding from his genitals for over a month and stretched skin turned into a wrinkly flap of tissue. "It is not as if she tried to kill you so stop trying to set her on fire with your eyes", he tiredly commented. Affairs like this made him even more tired than usual. Maybe there was still some German beer in the fridge to calm his nerves. "And yet she still nearly did", you curtly snip back, all to happy to let out your anger now. Ah yes, there was that. On good days Francois could easily forget that you nearly died during childbirth. Partially, he had been angry at the baby for that, at least in the beginning, however, unlike you, he was a rational person and worked quickly to overcome his misgivings. - Francois' solution would just be to shrug off your responses and wait. Surely you would have only been hysterical at the moment and given a few weeks you would surely calm down. If not, then he would resort to violence - burns and choking and attempts to impregnate you again. - Though, that would only be the case if he would still want the child. If you could argue your case well enough, then he would put the child up for adoption. That would be the outcome anyway, if he would find the child to be too difficult he would give it away, regardless of your feelings on the matter.

Russia

Victor raised his eyebrows in askance and then his expression proceeded to melt into one of mirth. The usually stone expression vanished, the corners of his eyes crinkling and his mouth forming into a smile that had too many teeth. Hiding the lower half of his face inside his signature red scarf, he looked even more sinister. That was when it came to you - his happiness stemmed from giddy anticipation. You had just broke one of the rules in this elaborate game of cat and mouse, you had just given him an exuse to act out his crueller fantasies. Normally, you were more careful, but this time, you had lost it all because you had allowed your emotions to get the better of you for the fraction of a minute. Those red eyes, twinkled down at you as he carefully laid the buddled little babe in your lap. You felt a shiver run down your spin as he patted your messy hair. The gesture would be affectionate, if you didn't know him. Ice gathered in your belly and you found yourself frozen with dread. "I'll keep your words in mind", he said softly, and with that, you knew that you were doomed. - Victor would use this as an excuse to let out his pent up anger and frustration out on you. For a few weeks, you would become his emotion punching bag. Of course, it would be constructed so that you would likely not suffer permanent damage. Emphasise on likely, because that could change very quickly if would provoke him. While standardly a very collected man, when he would already be swimming in anger, he would lose all tolerance for bs. - During that time, he would still have you tend to the child. Your treatment of the little one would determine if your punishment would be extended or shortened as well as the intensity of it. Of course, he wouldn't tell you of this - it would just be more fun for him to have you figure it out yourself. - Such an "event" could occur again and again during the life of your child, depending on your behaviour towards them. Family is something that Victor would take extremely seriously.

[jkftkth]

After seeing that Bang PD article it makes so much sense what the NJ girls was saying in that live about Hybe not working in an honest way. Bang PD has convinced himself that he can always manufacture a successful act and in doing so has completely disregarded god given talent and genuine fan/artist engagement. The way Bang Pd speaks it sounds like all these groups after BTS are basically like experiments to him (the gg's have faired worse imo). Not sure if you ever looked into the Lou Pearlman and Backstreet boys story (and all the other groups he screwed over) but I see so many similarities in their mindsets. Lou Pearlman got lucky with gifted charismatic boys but his insane ego made him believe they were a product of his own genius and that he was responsible for creating this magic formula that he could keep applying over and over again and in doing so he ended up exploiting and endangering so many young people. I really hope all the people defending Bang PD begin to self reflect at some point because it is not helping the artists who are potentially being exploited to give a man who has made his wealth on the backs of so many young people the benefit of the doubt. Not when there are so many red flags and especially not when he openly admits to manipulating both his artists and the fandom, without any shame.

(and if i say he was mad newjeans’ success was credited to someone other than him but because there’s not one talented bone in his body he had to stick with the only thing he knows how to do; steal their formula as his own whilst simultaneously trying to erase them 🥴)

i feel sorry for enyphen and katseye; the way he spoke about both groups was creepy and gave off the impression that certain grooming tactics had been used.

[phoenixfyrebird]

Evil Sparrow AU

Look, I adore Sparrow as a goofy little human just trying to make friends with all the non-humans he’s happened to come across and learn how to be like them…but I also am a sucker for AUs where characters are actually evil or sinister so I bring you this:

In this AU Sparrow basically still wants to obtain powers and abilities of his own, but his method of doing so is far more sinister than canon. Perhaps at one point early on in his quest he pursued his goal with pure intentions...but failure has driven him to the point of madness.

He starts out friendly, acting like some goofy and friendly human that just wants to know how to powers of his own and is able to befriend some of the strangers in this land which will make it so much more easy to eventually steal them away.

Eventually he learns that the magic in this land brings one back upon death, but it's not always something that is certain and so he does not wish to use that method to gain powers since no one really knows how many times a person can die and he doesn't know if it actually works on humans like himself (in this AU, lets pretend the other humans are hybrids).

On the surface, it appears like he's just trying to make due with the resources at his disposal and live a humble life, but unknown to the many others in this land he's actually advanced quite farther than he has in canon. Underground he has a whole lab and many, many ways to figure out exactly what makes hybrids what they are.

Of course, when he does his experiments on the hybrids he tricks into his grasp, he wears a disguise so that they don't know its him and Sparrow can maintain his persona.

Maybe some of the hybrids die during his attempts, maybe once he gets what he wants he kills them himself. Sure they'll get new abilities on death, but that only means he can use them again and again.

Deep down, a part of him knows what he's doing is wrong, but another part that is desperate overshadows it and all morals.

Some amount of time later and Sparrow is still very much human but he does have many powers that he's learned to replicate from those he experimented on so he's technically able to do things humans shouldn't be able to actually do.

I'm sure eventually someone figures it out; either by accident as they stumble upon the lab under Sparrow's area or just by piecing things together over time. Regardless the method of discovery, the truth gets out.

In the end, perhaps all the hybrids that are left unite against him.

There's many ways this AU can end for Sparrow of course, some better than others.

1. Maybe he realizes what he's become and is scared and horrified by what he's done. He flees never to be seen again or goes into hiding and is found by one or more people, who he begs for forgiveness; whether or not they forgive him is open to debate.

If he is forgiven he tries to make amends with others and gets a redemption arc. If not, he's left to wallow in his misery until death.

2. Maybe he's told that he doesn't need powers to be special, that all the hybrids loved him as just the silly human living in their lands. Again, a redemption arc follows and things start looking better for him.

3. Maybe, those that unite against him take all his lives in one fell swoop and he dies a villain with no hope of redemption.

4. Or maybe, he wins and becomes the most powerful human to ever live and returns home with his newfound abilities. The hybrids of the land he crashed into are no more and their powers are now his to exploit.

[anarcheamor]

Okay, Now I Can Talk About Annette's Vodou

Sike! I have to detour through Maria's summoning first. Spoilers for Nocturne will be said here so please stop reading from here if you haven't finished the show.

I know I watched the trailers and saw her summoning birds and thought it was cool but it still took me aback to see it in the show. And I think it's because, for one, knowing that her mother was a speaker made me question why she didn't know speaker magic and, for two, it was the first set of magic that needed a not-plot-relevant explanation for how it works. In the first show, the only times we got explanations for the magic was when something big was happening and the explanations served as part of the setup such as Doctor Saint Germain in the Multiverse of Madness and The Parent Trap: Alucard's Nightmare Editon. For Maria, there wasn't a plot reason for her powers being explained, it just seemed like the show had to provide one because the question was gonna be asked as we were watching. After all, she was summoning animals from somewhere and no other character we have seen had powers to teleport beings from one place to another so casually. Okay, so we have a daughter of a speaker magician who doesn't use speaker magic and we know that her daddy is definitely not capable of teaching it to her so what gives, right? Thus the show (read writers) felt compelled to break a convention from the first show and give us an explanation so that we could understand Maria's abilities and introduce the existence of other realms- something that was introduced in the first Castlevania via Saint Germain: Into The Germainer-verse. And that's fine, nothing too complicated, her relationship with the animals she summons seems to be something both originating from her magic and also from her using them in every day life. Cool! The alternate realm even has a name: the Other World. Alrighty, so I'm certain that it's that simple and we won't need anything else to be explained.

Except there is... turns out that the Otherworld is part of Celtic/Gaelic/Britonic myth which would explain why Maria's powers are different than her mother's as they most likely stem from her father's side of the family. An odd thing to leave out, no? I almost thought it was like Forgemastery where it was a Castlevania original form of magic. A small dive into the native roots of her magic could have added a bit more to her character and have the double effect of prepping us up mentally for Annette's Vodou especially since the two were directly compared but also to help showcase just how different Vodou is from people's traditional views on faith and magic.

Now I should say that my understanding of Vodou is coming from being an outsider to the faith but still connected to it culturally due to my ancestry, upbringing, hearing stories, etc., and then having to fill in the blanks with some research. This isn't gonna be accurate Vodou info because we're talking about a faith with three major variants that all have been pretty secretive for most of their existence due to religious oppression, demonization, and centuries-long attempts at exploiting and capitalizing on their "exoticness". So with all that said, take what I say with a good amount of salt.

Edouard says that Maria's Otherworld sounds like Annette's ancestral plain which is right in the sense that there is AN ancestral plain similar to the Otherworld. AN as in one because, in Vodou, there's multiple "nations" or families of spirits, with each spirit behaving and acting differently in some accordance to the nation they're in. The first red flage here is that the ancestral plain we see is pretty ambiguous and is just a gaggle of spirits in some ethereal place and the spirits themselves are mostly just diversely colored shadows save for Annette's mambo (teacher), Cecille. The next red flag is that Annette's magic is her own. In Vodou, powers are given by the spirits themselves, there's no level of spiritual genetics that can just imbue you with magical ability. Why? Because a major lesson in Vodou is that our strength comes from those who came before us and we can use them to support us as long as we reach out to them. Removing that aspect of Vodou from the equation just turns Annette's magic in regualr magic but with some Haitian flavor on it. And all of this is made most apparent than the biggest red flag...

THEY BROKE PAPA LEGBA'S NECK!?

So, Papa Legba is one of the most beloved of Lwa. First of all, you can't do much without him being involved as you have to talk to him first. Have you ever lived in a neighborhood and there's this gentle old man always sitting at his porch whose basically everybody's grampa? That's Papa Legba and his "house" is the entirety of the lwa nations (although he's considered to be from the Rada nation, one of the major nations I mentioned earlier). But he ain't no slouch and to cross him is to play one of the biggest FAFO games in your life. He's the head guard of all crossroads, doorways, etc., so him being summoned to deal with a portal to Hell and Forgemastery machine sounds appropriate but who thought it was a good idea to have him die? Is he dead? Just... why? How? Can spirits just die now? Ugh... on top of that, they could have just had him possess her. Usually, when Vodou practitioners want something from a lwa, the lwa can only interact physically through a human body so a rite is performed for the lwa to "dance in the head" of a trained practitioner who personally works with them. I can understand cutting corners in the show so that all Annette has to do is focus and call the name of a lwa but this would have been cool to see, allows greater focus on Annette, and allows you to have Papa Legba there without doing him dirtier than what American Horror Story did to him by having him just stand around until his neck gets turned intoa tetris piece.

You can see why I had to take this long to get to my main point, right? The first Castlevania used the straightforwardness of their magic to great effect but Nocturne introduced two new forms of magic with rocky starts because they don't match the formula established by the first set of magic. I hope that we get to see better representation of both.

[trans-axolotl]

key takeaways from psych abolition discussions at the anarchist healthcare conference 2023:

Psych wards and asylums have not always existed, and we can tear down and create alternatives! As much as the system wants us to believe this is our only option for providing care and support for madness, that is simply not true and there are multiple historical examples of successful deinstitutionalization. We talked a lot about the Basaglia method and the application of that in Italy and Brazil.

Successful resistance within psych wards has required solidarity from both workers and patients. Patients are often understandably very mistrustful of the professionals who have perpetrated violence against us, and psych professionals need to actively work to build trust, collaborate in sharing the burden of risk that currently patients are the only ones holding, actively value patients lives above their job security, and must actively interrogate the power dynamics they are currently operating within. One area to start building solidarity can be around the ways that psych workers like behavioral techs are often underpaid, overworked, and exploited by upper management, and that many psych workers go into the field because they have their own experience with mental health. There needs to be much more room for patients to express our anger, rage, and distrust, and still be respected by psych professionals who want to organize with us.

This quote from Basaglia and the Democratic Psychiatry movement in Italy: " The debate about whether to work inside or outside institutions, inside or outside, presupposes that inside and outside exist as clearly separate and antagonistic positions. Inside and outside are created as opposite and completely separate poles by a social system that is based on divisions at all levels. If we accept this premise, we are already playing into the hands of administrators."

What resistance in psych wards can look like! We talked about everything from organized protests, group refusal to comply with treatment activities, individual noncompliance, breaking people out, trying to advocate through the approved means like ethics committees and patient advocates, sneaking in contraband, creating intentional peer support within those spaces, and also some more complex and nuance conversations around the fact that when all ability to access privacy and bodily autonomy is taken away, many patients will turn to self harm as a form of enforcing bodily autonomy.

Ways that professionals can act as accomplices, by refusing to sign psych holds, refusing to force meds, enabling peer support, breaking their hospital policies, letting patients get away with things, advocating for policies like cell phones in units, calling ethics consults. Also the idea of deliscensure, where therapists will go to school, get licensed, and then let that license expire and offer services under "life coaching," which has different legal responsibilities and creates less entanglement with the state and mandatory reporting.

The idea that coercion exists on so many levels in the psych system, from outpatient to inpatient. "involuntary holds" are not the only type of involuntary treatment that happens. Someone had a really good point that choosing between coercive and violent inpatient systems or being forced to have zero support on the outside is also not a choice free from coercion, and that any discussion of involuntary treatment needs to have a really broad understanding of how coercion and choice plays into treatment in so many levels.

Brainstorming what inside/outside organizing might look like in terms of how we as community outside institutions support people currently incarcerated. Some ideas included bringing in regular care packages with fun items for patients and also items like hair care products, especially for textured hair since psych wards rarely provide any hair care products for Black hair, and sneaking in contact info to local organizations and collectives, sneaking in radical zines about mental health support topics/psych abolition/harm reduction by giving them covers of approved topics on things like CBT, mainstream mental health, etc. Having hotlines for immediate mobilization for psych incarceration. Utilizing the wisdom and knowledge from people who are regularly in and out of hospitals, who might have a lot more long term knowledge of how a psych facility functions than staff who have a lot of turnover. Really listening to patients and peers and getting creative about how to reach people and remind them that they're not forgotten. We really grappled with how to do this type of organizing when considering that psych wards are often very transient spaces where people are there for only 5ish days, and how to set up structures that can offer support to people their first time they enter a psych facility. A lot of our conversations also looked at successful inside/outside organizing happening in prisons, and people felt like that would be a really good direction to go into.

Building our community capacity to deal with crisis, and also depathologizing crisis! We talked about how often people label others' experiences as crisis without actually seeing how the person feels about it, and how white supremacy culture really encourages this on a societal level, especially in terms of what public situations bystanders will call the cops/crisis hotlines. In order to build networks of community care, we need to get comfortable with crisis, and look at how crisis exists in context, instead of just labeling things as symptoms and disorders. Healing cannot exist in isolation, and alongside things like emotional and therapeutic support, access to substances, we need to consider how to integrate material support for things like housing, food, medical care, fighting against oppression, access to job security, things like that. We also need to address how to expand access to community spaces, especially when considering people who feel isolated from in person community and don't have support networks to rely on.

overall this conference was just a really cool convergence of mad people, psych professional allies, people working with harm reduction and alternative crisis teams and just a million different contexts! happy to expand more on any of these points I've listed above.

[church-of-lilith]

Honestly what does give me a little comfort in kind of a messed up way is the fact that us sapphics aren't exactly alone-they pretty much screwed over EVERY minority lmao: Nate's storyline wasn't really explored and mostly centered around his relationship with Jade, Keeley could have had a whole fish out of water storyline like Ted about winning over her coworkers but instead the focused on her relationship drama, completely wasted Edwin and Shandy's potential for cheap laughs, gave a half assed attempt at writing Sam's storyline only to call him literally getting hate crimed a "big whoop" and never address it again, never actually giving Dani a storyline, like the list goes on and on XD its honestly kind of impressive how they managed to lowkey tear down their entire legacy Omg if you can edit your reddit post you should also mention how the only other sapphic character on the entire show is that creepy dog breeder..

This is so true. It feels like they dropped the ball for every single minority character and the longer you think about it the worse it gets.

Let’s talk Nate for a second because his whole storyline really baffles me. They had him coaching at Westham, and then they had him quit (or was he fired?) from Westham OFF SCREEN? And then suddenly an episode later he’s back as the assistant kitman for Richmond? I’ll never understand why these writers were so dead set on him coming back to Richmond, all so he could just fade into the background. And while I do believe the whole kit man decision was a temporary one, and that going forward they made him a coach again, I don’t like the implication that he worked through his issues this whole season to just end up back where he was. There’s no reason Nate couldn’t have gone off and gotten another coaching job at another team! He’s still the Wonder Kid, clearly has mad skills and credibility, you can’t tell me there isn’t a team who would have wanted him! I understand he had to return to Richmond briefly to have closure and make his apologies, but then he could’ve gone off to coach elsewhere and continued to spread the Lasso Way and change the lives of other people! We didn’t need him at Richmond when basically all the work has already been done. I wish they would’ve given me any indication that he’d really been impacted by this whole arc he went through & then gone off to be the change he wanted to see in the world.

Keeley’s whole storyline being about Jack & the business was such a waste of Juno Temple’s amazing acting, and an underutilization of the fan favorite character we know and love. Most everything about her seemed so off this season? And as you pointed out, she really didn’t even become Miss Independent until the very end when Rebecca took over financing and she was able to make decisions about her own business finally. I would’ve much rather they had Rebecca funding it from the start (or at least earlier in the season) so we could have seen her adventures and misadventures through running her own company that didn’t have anything to do with her messy, exploitative relationship with Jack.

The way I feel about them trying to tackle racism with Sam’s storyline is the same way I feel about them trying to tackle homophobia with Colin’s. If you’re gonna half ass it, don’t do it at all. And they certainly didn’t put half the amount of time and effort they needed to into thinking up how to properly handle Sam’s storyline. We went through the whole hate crime that was never addressed again. And then we had this big problem with Edwin in the final episodes where he was like “I’m going to destroy your entire life and you’ll never make money with the restaurant and you’ll never play for the National team.” And then that was just NEVER addressed again?? Not even a throwaway line about Rebecca taking care of it or something?? He was suddenly playing on the Team and the only explanation we were given from Brendan during the AMA was that it was due to ‘national outcry’ like give me a break. Not to mention we never saw Simi again and so we never got to see if she and Sam ended up together. We were sort of just left to infer that everything worked out for Sam, and that just doesn’t work for me.

Poor Dani Rojas was doomed to be nothing more than a joke from the very start. He deserved more, but at the same time I’m almost glad they didn’t give him more because the storylines this season were awful.

So yeah, feels like all of the minorities on the show lost. I don’t know how the writers managed to do this in so little time, but you’re right it is really impressive.

[onesderoure]

Excerpts from “On Connection”, Kae Tempest

Creativity is the ability to feel wonder and the desire to respond to what we find startling. Or, more simply, creativity is any act of love.

Connection is the feeling of landing in the present tense. Fully immersed in whatever occupies you, paying close attention to the details of experience. Characterised by an awareness of your minuteness in the scheme of things.

Creative connection is the use of creativity to access and feel connection and get yourself and those with you in the moment into a more connected space.

Sound check

If we are to come to a better understanding of our behaviour, we need to know ourselves not only as we’d like to be, but in how we actually operate.

That social conformity means you hold your desire to please people or avoid confrontation in higher regard than your morals? We have grown far from ourselves. The charades we are expected to perform have become real and swallowed us into the act.

Numbness, or disconnection, is a lack of true feeling. Numbness is a logical response to the onslaught of the age. In order to be able to survive it with any semblance of sanity, in order to be able to function or even to flourish, numbness is required.

I have sought numbness. Over many years I have thrown myself fully into the pursuit of getting numb. Losing feeling. Avoiding instead of arriving in my experiences. I have needed something all-consuming to snap me out of reality.

Each time I have walked into strange rooms with poems to tell, I have had to confront my own insecurities and judgements about who I was talking to and why, and each time I was taught something about what connects us being more powerful than what divides.

Doors

Creativity reached through the fog when nothing else could. It gave me guidance, offered me purpose and connected me to all other creative people. It was transformative.

Every single person is affected by the violence of existence in different ways, and that people carry their burdens however they can.

In my reading of it, the spirit of the times is the part of you that is preoccupied with ordering your life into a narrative that you can stomach, the part of you that is concerned with current issues, current trends and the pursuits of the day. The part of you that urges you to achieve a particular set of goals, whether that’s having children, finding a partner, giving up drink or drugs, or making enough money to leave your home town. The part of you that works towards something concrete. The part of you that cares about respectability or the approval of your peers.

The spirit of the depths is the ancient part of you. The part that responds to the invisible world. The part that makes no sense and speaks in heavy symbols. Your madness, your dreams, your visions. The spirit of the depths communicates through archetypes, masks, animal shapes. It is drawn to nature and wilderness. The spirit of the depths is not satisfied when you obtain the things the spirit of the times told you that you needed in order to live a satisfying life. The spirit of the depths sees the soul.

Support Act

When we are fixated on what we can get from an exchange, or how we can benefit, instead of considering what we can offer, we are being exploitative.

Words on a page are incomplete. The poem, the novel or the non-fiction pamphlet are finished when they are taken up and engaged with. Connection is collaborative. For words to have meaning, they have to be read. But once the writer has delivered the work, it does not belong to them any more; it belongs instead to whoever picks it up and completes it.

To really be useful to the connective power of the text, rather than interrogators, we must be the conductors. We, the readers or listeners, are crucial to the text, story or song becoming powerful. We are not impartial observers; we are a fundamental part of the circuitry; if we are not connected, the charge will not be able to flow.

The reader undergoes a process of discovery that the writer side of myself is not involved in.

‘Love does not happen with words.’ If I’m to commit, I need to commit in action, not just in thought. A daily practice of intentionally connecting to someone else’s story can offer me, the engaged reader, a lived example of how to approach an exchange without being exploitative, violent or selfish. Next time I’m about to cast a harsh judgement on a stranger who offends me, can I allow myself instead to see them as the flawed and complex human that they are?

Preparation

Most people confuse ‘self-knowledge’ with knowledge of their conscious ego personalities. Anyone who has any ego-consciousness at all takes it for granted that he knows himself. But the ego knows only its own contents, not the unconscious and its contents. People measure their self-knowledge by what the average person in their social environment knows of himself, but not by the real psychic facts which are for the most part hidden from them.

When life is the pursuit of status, and status is measured in wealth, we grade the outcomes of our existence by the possessions we accumulate or the goals we can tick off our bucket lists.

If you allow approval to define you, you will have no choice but to allow disapproval to define you when it comes. If you can be swayed by other people’s opinions, if you are desperate for other people’s acceptance, if you crave a position to boost yourself above your insecurities, deep creative connection will remind you that none of these things define you and actually none of this stuff is important.

It’s tempting to define talent comparatively, but you are not in competition with anyone but yourself.

The creative compass is the instinct that drew you to your discipline in the first place, and when you are in connection with it, it will tell you everything you need to know about how you’re doing with your work. It will guide you through difficult creative decisions and will help you distinguish between a motivation to act from a need for approval on one hand, and a genuine creative compulsion on the other. Things will go wrong. You will make mistakes. You will end up doing things that don’t feel entirely right. This is how you learn how to dig at your compulsions, and really feel where they’re coming from. It’s a process of sensory reanimation. You are learning a new sensibility.

There is no success in writing. There are only better degrees of failure. To write is to fail. An idea is a perfect thing. It comes to the writer in a breathless dream. The writer holds this idea in their mind, in their body; everything feeds it. They have spent their entire lifetime up until that point honing the skills to get this idea out of the ether and down through their useless hands, on to the page. But it will never be right. There is no way that a writer cannot injure that idea as they wrestle with it. By the time it has revealed itself to be finished, when the deadline can’t be put off any longer, the exhausted writer has learned another lesson about their own restrictions that they promise themselves they will overcome next time. But next time comes, and they are faced with new restrictions, new limitations, new impossibilities.

Going out there

When an individual plays a part he implicitly requests his observers to take seriously the impression that is fostered before them. They are asked to believe that the character they see actually possesses the attributes he appears to possess, that the task he performs will have the consequences that are implicitly claimed for it, and that, in general, matters are what they appear to be.

I can be lost for days, struggling to even hold the pen because my hands are made of soil, I sit and write in tears. I don’t know why. Nothing’s wrong! It’s like I’ve crested a hill that I’ve been climbing for ever, and I finally get to see the valley beyond.

Feeling it happen

The work that I do on myself may not be evident in my daily exchanges, but little by little, if I continue, I hope that my actions will reflect my changing mindset, and next time, I promise myself, I’ll do things differently.

Craft is the hard work. Connection the reward. Much of creative connection is subconscious. Craft is the opposite. A good craft is built on solid foundations, years of practice and experimentation that can be relied upon at all times to steer you through the creative process. Craft is the thing you develop while you’re waiting for connection to show up.

I’ve felt connection countless times, but I don’t create it. All I know is it’s a collaborative, communal feeling that takes the whole room or none of us.

My creativity enables me to access other worlds that exist parallel to this one. But even with those tools, sometimes the other worlds are inaccessible, the sound is down.

Connection balances numbness. Connection is the first step towards any act of acknowledgement, accountability or responsibility. I will be aware of my own humanity. I will be aware of my own complicity. I will show tenderness and deference to the people that I encounter.

You don’t have to be engaged in ‘art’ to feel empathy or access the depths. The universal depths can be accessed through art, and personally that is how I have come to know them, but it is not always the case that drawing or writing will take you into a deep connection. It starts by acknowledging that everything is resonating.

It’s the pushing back, the pushing of ‘our’ norms back out into the society at large that creates counter-culture, that presents an opportunity for change.

When you’re going numb, switch focus.

[wooglebear]

So, how is tetocu23 handling this little boy?

Yes, that's right. since the legacy movie characters are going to be in this theoretical reboot, Tommy (AKA the locker kid from the film) is here. He's going to be slightly much happier here.

Emphasis on slightly.

- let's say Tommy is smart, determined and ruthless. He's rude to people she doesn’t trust. He's brash and stubborn. And he has a bit of claustrophobia.

- He has a passion for drawing and helping those around him, sometimes even worrying more about helping others than helping himself

- He sometimes has acts responsible, but not in a bossy way.

- To Krupp tho, he's seen as kind of a weirdo, for you see, he spends almost every time of the day drawing in his sketchbook

- He practices everyday to become a better artist, and he's been bullied because of it.

- Tommy doesn’t mind these comments, although they have made him less willing to share his drawings with others that aren’t named George and Harold or Dante (yes, he and Dante are friends in this one)

His design is showing the contrast between what he likes/his personal taste vs his mother's expectations/what he knows is the best choice.

What is this mother like? Well…

This is Miss Bluebell Clark. She's a single mother (yes, her wife is nowhere in the picture) and Jerome Horwitz Elementary's new drama teacher.

- basically the adult version of a theatre kid.

- has the middle name "Belinda".

- Really darn smart and conniving. Befitting her job as drama teacher, she's a very good actress. She has a knack for lying, twisting words and exploiting weaknesses. If you're Tommy, it’s very hard to know when she’s being genuine.

- When she first shows up, and around Alice, Bluebell acts all calm and collected, sweet, and innocent. Of course, that’s just a facade. Underneath that, there is a downright manipulative, cruel, calculating and self absorbed young lady who's willing to use and trample on anyone, even her own son. And remember when I said she acts innocent as her facade? No, on the inside, she is not. She's the reason why Tommy has a bit of claustrophobia (she hides him in lockers). Tommy even tries going to tetocu23!“Grace Wain” to try to get his mother fired. But Grace tells him that the only reason that she hasn't booted her out of there yet is because she has a feeling she's planning something, and also Bluebell's an 'asset' to the school.

- As vain as the peacock and refuses to get dirty.

- Near constantly tells Tommy 'dress exactly as I tell you'. As a result, Tommy suffers for it, as his mother sets the theme for his outfit each day, and he would rather wear something a little more plausible for a ten year old boy than the clothes of a theatre kid. Something local theatre kid Dante notices.

- Uses emotional abuse on Tommy. But when she's mad at Tommy, it can get a little hairy.

- Her personality can change from nasty to sweet on a dime. If she wrote one poem as a nice person and one poem as a bad person, you would not think the same person wrote both poems. That's how two sided she is.

- The only thing that she makes known of her real self is her treatment of Tommy. As a result, everyone feels bad for Tommy and hates Bluebell.

- She thinks most teachers (and Edith) as her subjects, blissfully unaware of what everyone thinks of her. Mr. Ree, however, makes her blood boil, to the point she has a sign on the staff room saying "Janitors do not count as teachers. They are not allowed."

- I think Bluebell would make everyone hate Tommy. This hatred of him would eventually bubble over and Tommy gets monster-fied. as a result, the boys and captain have to fight him as a monster of the week. Eventually, Tommy gets turned back to normal, and now everyone loves the boy :)

- Bluebell sees it differently. When Cash shows up, she INSTANTLY hates him and works in secret with Krupp, despite our principal not treating Cash as horribly as canon, to turn almost everyone against the man. Poor Cash is just confused as to why everyone but Javi and Alice hates him.

Alice: I love playing the Sims. It's basic. You build a house, make people who live in it, done.

Cash: I'm quite fond of The Sims 4: Get Famous.

Javi: I love making my sims get jobs.

Bluebell: I did things like removing all the doors to a room and making my neighbor pee themself or watching people drown in ladderless pools!

Javi: ...

Cash: You disgusting psychopath

Alice: (sarcastic) Bluebell, what would we do without you?

- When Cash and Javi confront Bluebell, Javi's like "So it was all you! You made everyone hate my boyfriend!" and Cash's like "How will you kill us? Will it be the classic beheading ooooor burn us at the stake like witches? Please, do get creative, I wouldn't want my death to be something generic." Bluebell's like "Nah, I won't kill either of you."

- Desperately wants to get rid of Cash and goes to great lengths to try and set up the parameters for his downfall, but it goes sideways in some way.

Bluebell: Do you want to be friends with me?

cash networth: of course! The more friends the merrier, so you join us!

Bluebell: I'm sure I won't backstab you in the end... (shows she had her fingers crossed) Or will I?

-Despite being a lesbian, Bluebell used to be dating Lavatore Ree. Then thanks to Lavatore playing it fast and loose, they drifted apart.

-When she reconciles with her ex-lover, Bluebell is very open about their relationship, while Lavatore keeps it a secret.

- Used to be Cara's right-hand-woman, until she quit.

- Has a rivalry with Alice. There was no reason for giving her this rivalry if I recall. But I think it's really funny that, while the blonde art teacher becomes the most popular teacher at a school of fun hating adults (thanks to treating her pupils nicely), the brunette drama teacher has a son who she treats horribly and makes herself public enemy number one.

(tetocu23 au: @infini-tree / @cartchytuns)

[virtuouswhitehatorganization]

Estrella Cacho (Villainous Oc)

Name: Estrella Cacho

Ethnicity: Filipina-American

Residence: Steepburg

Headcannon Voice Actor: Lea Salonga (English); Maggie Vera (Spanish)

Relatives: Pia Cacho (daughter) ; Santiago Cacho (husband-deceased)

Age: Same Age As Pilar 

Occupation: Chronically unemployed; Personal manager

Sexuality: Straight

Personality: She is at heart a terrible mother who uses her child in order to exploit her status as a sidekick. She pressures her daughter to always follow her demands even at the expense of her mental, emotional, and even physical wellbeing. She is a suck up who will cozy up to anyone who will give her a chance to make her daughter big. She is very dismissive towards her daughter's opinions and will shut her down quickly if contradicts her own plans. She also doesn't care that the superhero her daughter is working under is abusing her as long as they can ride the coattails of being associated with him. She also has a manipulative streak where she plays on her daughter's sympathy in order to guilt trip her into doing stuff with the fact that they will have money troubles if she quits. She also uses her husband's death as the reason why she's the way she is to get sympathy which is also how she can sometimes get her daughter to still give her leeway. She also is obsessed with being young and as a result acts really immature for a middle aged woman. She often dresses and behaves more like a woman in her 20's rather than a woman with a late teen daughter. She is seen as an irresponsible woman who often has a habit of mismanaging finances and encouraging bad behavior towards younger people in order to be seen as the cool mom (when in reality they see her as pathetic and desperate to get any sort of validation.) She is also very promiscuous and has a tendency to flirt towards any man who catches her eye (and especially loves coming onto younger ones). She is also very dismissive of her daughter going to college seeing it as a waste of time and just make her focus on her career. 

Background: The single mother of the up and coming sidekick, Detacha, she has trained her daughter for years to one day become a sidekick and lift them out of their poor circumstances. She made sure to sign up for the sidekick program when she was old enough and was ecstatic when she was chosen. She became her personal manager and continued to be a watchdog over her. Her daughter was then made the sidekick of their town's hero, Power Body, which delighted her. However, it became more and more apparent he was very abusive towards Detacha and her daughter voiced her concerns. Instead of being upset by this, she ignored her please and encouraged her to stay with him in order to potentially reap the rewards of staying with a well-known superhero. Her daughter eventually would get the help of friends to escape her influence, get paired with Ms. Sensation, and find a way to rat out Power Body's abuse. 

* She is made to be the complete opposite of Pilar in character. 

* Her character is inspired by Leanne Platter from King of the Hill and Sarah Lynn's mother from Bojack.

* She is an alcoholic and has misspent a lot of money on booze. It also caused her tons of problems with jobs. 

* Due to her irresponsible behavior, her daughter had to grow up fast and take care of herself often as she got into middle school. 

* She knows English, Spanish, and even Tagalong. 

* She never went to college. 

* She and Pilar will meet and the latter will really let her have it once she hears and sees for herself how she treats her daughter. 

* She has even slept with Power Body in order to make her daughter keep favor with him and because she wanted the bragging rights of sleeping with a noted superhero. 

* Noting her age will get her mad.  

Created through picrew.me/en/image_maker/41689…

[robinlovexo]

cant you see that there’s another way to love her 🌎🌿🌍🌳🌏🕊️💗

god i’m high and would love to vent online atm. listen and think with me if you’d like.

the iof are terrorists, let’s not normalize this killing. there are better things to fight for in this life.

you think israel is an honorable country that deserves to exist? israel is an entity, an occupation. a disease. a cancer. a blood money sucker. that trains humans to be killers. that was to kill people that know how to live with the land. to kill the ones that know how to work with the land, to love, to live in community. the iof goes and tears up even trees. they do not care about life period. they are not an honorable country that deserves to exist. they are fucking babies acting up and freaking out and panicking and KILLING PEOPLE IN THEIR PANIC. that just want more resources!!’ more oil so they can make more money exploiting people. they know they’re a disease and they’re scared of US, the WORKING CLASS, human beings rising up and waking up to their programming. waking up to our power. the powers in our action. we don’t need to work for these fucking multimillion dollar companies that just hurt the earth and exploit the resources of the land. we can remember to live a better way, to spend our time nurturing the earth and our communities and coming together especially because the climate crisis is just going to continue to escalate and we will need to be able to band together. to work with each other.

ok side tangent to the fucking landlords:

fuck you you have absolutely no reason to be preying on that family, that human and “owning” the land that we all fucking share. you are crippling them. there’s no need. especially if it’s true that we at this point essentially have enough houses. what is with this hyper individualism, everyone occupying and living in these little pods of concrete. we also like know as a species how to build better houses too. that actually regulate heat anymore. oh but we won’t tell you how tho we will just make you forget how so then you have to pay for air conditioning hehe and pay us more money oop

RAHHH LIKE FUCKING BE MAD THIS IS FUCKED UP YOU GUYS.

don’t believe their lies about how we need to live. stop being a little baby living with scarcity mindset and remember that we need to steward the land and give to her and live in harmony with her. that we of course can live in ways that add growth and food to the land - but we don’t need to focus on PROFIT. we can just SHARE !!!! stop biting everyone around you and just hang out.

we don’t need to grow these icky companies anymore.

STOP ALLOWING PEOPLE TO GO AS FAR AS BONBING PEOPLE AND ENSLAVING PEPOPLE. that is not LIBERATION that is OCCUPATION. ITS ADDING TOO MUCH CARBON TO THE AIR.

god we could make much smarter transportation systems too that aren’t also hyper individualistic in style. like busses! we can hang out!!! and like fuck why do we have guns let’s not give anyone that power wink wink RAH FUCK GUNS HOW THE FUCK DID WE NORMALOZE THE AMOUNT OF SHOOTINGS THAY HAPPEN IN THE UNITED STATES which is actually occupied turtle island. you know how we started this so called country?? this entity that pumps money?? we killed and genocided and stripped all the people who respected and lived and loved in harmony with the land, and gave back to the earth, and cared abt each other. we are still living in the thing that was created and occupied that space. an entity that’s existence does not care about human life. why don’t we just stop feeding it. WE CAN SHARE! we have to remember to share. and organize. and make shit happen with each other. to make the world better. the government isn’t going to do shit. we are the dreamers we are the living beings and we protect all living beings too. remember to respect the water and be thankful. to plant and share your bounty. to organize a radical free market. to make third spaces. to maybe tear down your fences. and like hang out. outside? yeah. some of us have the land surrounding.

let us dare to dream of a better way to live and change the narrative.

hey i made some delicious food with my plants that i grew i would love to share and make something for the community 🥺🥺🥺💗💗 and look how many pretty purple snap peas i have i rly need help eating them🥺 oh my god you painted that that’s so inspiring that is such a beautiful reminder of our stories

hey just so you know you totally don’t need to have a grass lawn what if you like planted a different softer thing that you didn’t have to mow (lawn mowers are literal death consumption machines! they consume beings to trim grass. i’m talking abt lawn mowers. why the fuck do we have grass.)

rahhhhhhhhhh grr bark bark roar let’s literally quit our jobs and garden and spend our time changing the infrastructure of our land in ways that work with her. building busses and bike friendly infrastructure and coming closer together and build more community centers and make shit happen. cuz this illusion isn’t going to last forever. change is coming change is inevitable, let’s change too. remember you are a child of this earth. that’s pretty special. and you’ve got beautiful things to add to this life and beautiful ideas. and i love seeing you be so passionate and creative

grr bark bark grumble and roar in the comments if you’d like - ill roar w u

only we can change this life. this is our revolution. fire is catching. organize baby. educate yourself abt history baby. get passionate. get mad. and ACT. wheatpaste. spread the word. agitate. don’t let this be normal. refuse to accept this. only we can change this.

if you read this whole thing ilyy 🥰