#or dont grade based on out of class work so that students have the opportunity to ask questions

[freakinflipflop]

Webassign should be banned from consistent use by teachers. Just grade students' work or get a TA you are literally being paid for this

[seungmvnnie]

Ravenclaw!Renjun x Slytherin!Reader 

word count; 2.7k words (longest one yet, my bias really do be showing)

warnings; *very* suggestive kissing, female reader, bullet point au, unlike the other fics in this series, this one is pretty much entirely based on the build up to the relationship and has little about the characters together, enemies to lovers au. also i researched year 7 DADA content for this to make it realistic so never say i dont put effort into my writing ahahaha

Huang Renjun had been your enemy the second you had stepped foot into your first class at Hogwarts

It was only natural; you both came to school, bright eyed and ready, with the expectation and aspiration to be top of the class

you had read through and memorized all the books on the provided reading list before you had even boarded the train - everyone thought you were made to be a ravenclaw which is why it was a bit of a shock when you were sorted into Slytherin, but you supposed it was your ambition

you had planned to become the youngest minister of magic there had ever been since you were 4

which meant going to Hogwarts, achieving the highest grades and being top of your year, becoming prefect, head girl and going on to work in the ministry and work your way up

little did you know, Renjun also had big plans

to ruin your perfect record

the very first lesson you had with him; you hadn’t even noticed the quiet ravenclaw who sat behind you

that was until the Professor asked a question and he had stated the answer so confidently, you almost flinched

you had answered the first few, which was why his voice interrupting was so shocking

you hadn’t even gotten the opportunity to open your mouth

you knew the answer of course, you just weren’t as quick as he was

which is why the next time your Professor asked a question, you made sure to get there first

it continued like that the whole lesson, a vicious back and forth game of who could answer first

you enjoyed some healthy competition and all, but it was like he was purposely trying to annoy you

the final straw was when you turned around in your seat at the end of the class to glare at him and he had that stupid smug smile on his face that you learnt to despise over the next few years

ever since then, everything was a competition to you two

and everyone at Hogwarts knew it

quidditch

house cup points

you name it, you’ve had an argument over it

neither of you even played quidditch but you would still argue with him about how Slytherin was better

you even once partook in a particularly heated game of wizard chess that ended with a flipped chess board and a few choice words being shouted at each other

there were many people that Renjun didn’t like but you were the only one that could make him flip a wizard chess board in rage (Although, if you asked him he would say you were the one who threw it)

wizard chess was banned after that

everyone hated you for it

this competition was helpful to an extent; you were top of the class in most classes, except the very, very few in which Renjun had beaten you

your days were spent in the library, cramming as much as you could, the desire to beat Renjun outweighing your need for sleep or basic human needs

needless to say he was the exact same but you both made sure to sit as far away from each other as humanely possible in the library

you could honestly say the best day of your life was when you realized that you had made prefect and he didn’t 

that got held over him for a good two years

then again, Renjun could also say that he beat you in your O.W.Ls, so it evened out 

when you started dating Han Jisung in 6th year, who was another Ravenclaw, you had him reporting back Renjun’s grades in the classes you weren’t in with him

you both competed for who had the least amount of detentions given - you had 2, which were both caused by the few times your competition had turned physical and you had shot a few jinxes at him, and Renjun had 5, two from his incident with you and the other 3, a result of his unfortunate friends 

which meant both of you had pretty much squeaky-clean records

you attributed your near perfect grades and having the best record in your year as the main reason why, the summer before seventh year, a neat little green pin with, ‘head girl,’ had arrived in the mail

of course, you were happy that your parents were proud of you, but you felt a vindictive joy knowing that you had something new to hold over Huang Renjun

That was until, you showed up on the first day to the first prefect meeting on the Hogwarts express and were met with the one and only Huang Renjun, the pin on his chest sat bright blue with ‘Head Boy,’ proudly etched into the metal

according to the pale look on his face, he hadn’t expected you to be Head Girl either

Professor Lee, the Headmaster, seemed to recognize his mistake almost immediately, considering he had two teenagers debating each other in his office before the school year had even started

“You can hardly expect me to work with him-”

“Of course, you can’t expect us to work together, I actually know what I’m doing-”

“Know what you’re doing? You weren’t even a prefect you poser-”

“You’re right I wasn’t, but I’m still smarter than you!”

the Headmaster had silenced you both with a wave of his hand, before you could retaliate with the fact that you’re beating him at potions, what does he mean, smarter than you?

“Okay. If you can’t work together, that’s fine. However, I expect one of you to make the mature, adult decision to step down from your position, not push the other one to resign.”

You looked at each other

there was no way either of you were going to do that

He stared at you both for a moment, before sitting down calmly at his desk

“I chose you both because of your maturity, exam results and impressive behavior these past 6 years. I would appreciate if you both put aside this feud and worked together for your student body.”

You stared at your hands, refusing to look at Renjun as shame gnawed at your chest

“Now, back to your dormitories.”

And so you were stuck with him

you thought that perhaps, Professor Lee’s words of wisdom would create a newfound maturity

but no, he was the exact same annoying little shit he was before

just this time, he had authority

As Head Boy and Head Girl, you were required to do prefect duty late at night together

which essentially meant you both had to walk around Hogwarts late at night on a Friday and Saturday and make sure no one was out of bed and wandering the castle when they shouldn’t be

you spent those nights in an awkward silence

you wished you could split up but you had to walk around together for, ‘safety reasons’

realistically you thought that schools were meant to be safe to walk around late at night by yourself but Hogwarts is just built different

as head boy and head girl you were given the most hectic two days of the week as well, which meant you had broken up more parties than you were comfortable to admit

you had even caught your boyfriend at a few parties, but you discreetly avoided giving him detentions

he couldn’t say anything though, he had let off Donghyuck and his girlfriend when you had found them making out

speaking of which

the amount of times you had caught a half-dressed couple attached to each other was just kind of gross

the amount of time you spent with Renjun was starting to defrost you both a little

not a lot though; just simple things like how you would ask him how he found the potions homework

sometimes it would spark an argument, but you could now have a conversation without some sort of spiteful remark

you kind of had to; otherwise you were just left in silence

your time spent together was usually uneventful

 until the weekend of valentine’s day

that Saturday was valentine’s day and the day of a hogsmeade trip

Jisung had asked you to go, but you had an important Herbology exam on Monday, not to mention you had to be alert for prefect duty so you couldn’t be running around Hogsmeade

he had seemed annoyed, but he had always known how much your future meant to you

it seemed Renjun had thought the same because the only people in the library, or it seemed the entire castle was the two of you

prefect duty that night was the least awkward it had ever been

he had even said something that had made you laugh

however the lack of awkward tension between the two of you counterbalanced with the awkwardness of having to check every single broom cupboard you happened across as, as you had expected, many people had been affected by valentine’s day

what you hadn’t expected though, was to spot your boyfriend leaving the Gryffindor common room, hair disheveled and his t-shirt on inside out

“Jisung? What are you doing out of bed at this time?”

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights 

“Sorry, the Gryffindors were throwing another party again. You know what they’re like,” he laughed awkwardly

your eyes flickered down to the red and purple bruises which littered his neck

“I didn’t put those there. You were cheating on me, weren’t you?” You asked so matter-of-factly, that Renjun was somewhat taken aback

you were using the voice you used to answer the teacher or argue with him

you didn’t seem emotional at all

Jisung looked like he wanted to pretend, but his face fell into a tired, yet annoyed look

“Can you blame me?”

You blinked at him

“Yeah.”

“Your whole life is dedicated to another person, (Y/N).” Jisung gestured to where Renjun stood

“No it’s not! Don’t be so ridiculous.” You had scoffed

“You didn’t go out with me today because you wanted to beat him in a test and be awake to spend time with him.”

“That’s not true!”

“You didn’t spend time with me on my birthday because you couldn’t miss a prefect meeting or Huang would hold it over you. You made me spy on him, and he tried to get me to spy on you too. Ever since dating you my life has just been this whirlwind of Huang. You do realize everyone in school thinks you’re in love with each other!”

He was shouting at this point

You looked at him, unable to argue with him this time, but the coldness in your eyes refused to budge.

“That doesn’t give you the excuse to cheat. I’m breaking up with you.”

He rolled his eyes

“Fine. At least now you can fuck Huang to your hearts content, considering the whole school is already betting on it.”

Before you even had time to react, Renjun had shot across the hallway, raising his fist and, with a sickening crunch, broke his nose

“Renjun!” 

You grabbed his arm, pulling him back before he could do anymore damage

“Go to the hospital wing, Jisung.” You instructed

He glared at the two of you before swinging on his heel and leaving

you and Renjun didn’t look at each other for the rest of the night

or the next few weeks after that

Jisung had told everyone what had happened

he kind of had to, the bruising around his eyes gave away the events of the previous night

the whole school were watching you and Renjun intently, now that they knew how he had punched Jisung for you, thinking that this was finally it

you were finally going to get together

but you didn’t interact at all

not even to correct each other in class

the truth was, both of you were deliberating your feelings for each other

Jisung was right

you had told yourself that everything you did was for your career path, but why then did you have such a hyper fixation on Renjun?

you did well in life without your on-going rivalry with the Ravenclaw

was it just petty stubbornness? or was Jisung right in thinking that it was because of some other reason?

You found yourself staring at him in some of your classes

he was good looking, there was no denying that

but did you like him like that?

Renjun had been having the same internal battle 

why did he suddenly find it in himself to punch Jisung in the face?

that was incredibly unlike him

just the way he had spoken about you and to you had made him so angry

the year flew in, and soon it was June and you still hadn’t spoken to each other

It wasn’t until your very last day doing prefect duty that the silence was broken by you

“How’d you think you do on your exams?”

he looked at you, shocked. You hadn’t spoken to him in 5 months.

“Uh- good. I go stuck on familial curses on the Defense paper, but I think I did okay in the end.”

“Oh, I wrote that the spell needs to be tied to the bloodline as opposed to the surname.”

“I thought it was that you had to tie it to the surname, because it doesn’t count as a blood curse?”

“No, because if the caster doesn’t understand familial relationships it doesn’t work, any first year could understand that.”

He went quiet for a moment before mumbling,

“I’m going to cast a goddamn familial curse on you in a moment.”

“Why are we like this?” you asked, stopping your walk to pause for a moment in the middle of the hallway

He stopped too, but he refused to look at you

“You started it...” He grumbled, staring down at his feet.

You rolled your eyes

“Why did you punch Jisung?” You asked blatantly

His head shot up in surprise

“Why did you have Jisung spying on me?” He challenged back, taking a step forward

“Why did you have Jisung spying on me?” you repeated

you both fell silent, and only then you realized how close you had gotten

you didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment

“If you’re going to kiss me, kiss me. Don’t pussy out now.” you uttered, your words sharp and cutting

“Oh, shut up.” He replied, rolling his eyes

“Make me.” You challenged

Grabbing your waist, he pulled you to his body, colliding your lips with his violently

you let out a muffled sound of surprise, not expecting him to follow through, but upon feeling the smile which had grown on his face at your shock, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you

you couldn’t let him win, not after the past how many years of sexual tension

your lips competed in mess of sloppy kisses, his hands moving down from your waist to your hips, pushing you against the wall in the hallway as yours moved to the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of his hair, using the way he gasped at the feeling to deepen the kiss, sliding your tongue into his mouth

you let out a shameful groan at the feeling of his body pressing against yours and almost whined when he pulled away

your lack of contact didn’t last long, as he attached his mouth to your neck, biting down sinfully

you threw your head back against the cool stone wall which felt deliciously cold against the the heat of Renjun to allow easier access to him as he continued to suck marks into your skin until-

“Renjun?”

You practically threw Renjun off of you, ignoring how erotic the sight of his mussed hair and swollen lips were

in front of you stood the two hufflepuff prefects, Zhong Chenle and a girl who’s name you could never remember, staring at you

the girl seemed shocked, but Chenle simply had raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk on his face

you had forgotten him and Renjun were friends

“You do know I’m going to have to give you both detention for making out in the hallway. By your rules.” 

Renjun rolled his eyes

“New rule. We’re the exception.”

[scrivenger-grimgar]

sup fuckers!! guess who made an entirely new branch of subplot and worldbuilding for the Accidentally A Criminal Kokichi AU that literally doesn’t involved kokichi at all and may just be an explanation for why the Games didn’t happen, but got carried away and now its like an entirely separate story arc that happens????

this bastard right here! hi how ya doing folks and @the-sleepiest-salami , how ya doing tonite?

so yeah, this part actually centres around class 77 (sdr2) but i need to get some things out of the way for context i think

(edit: god this post is long and its only the first part of 8-10 posts explaining this entire mess)

kamukura izuru and hinata hajime: they are a plural system. hajime is the illegitimate child of Hinata Tajima, the Ultimate Entrepreneur, but his parents are Hinata Ayako (Tajima’s trophy wife) and an unknown man of Thai origin based off of DNA testing.

Tajima is very demanding, expects perfection from hajime, putting him under a lot of stress. he has the mindset that Talentless are tools for the use of the Talented, so when his son turns out to be both not his son and talentless he becomes incredibly distant and neglectful while still expecting perfection from Hajime so as not to damage his reputation.

Izuru is a result of the stress put on hajime, and while some aspects of him come from the conditions hajime was put under, he is his own person. hajime & izuru switch depending on the situation and the people they’re around.

Hajime fronts around Ayako and most of the mansions’ servants, being standoffish and prickly, but also more emotionally open and active. izuru fronts around Tajima and his guests, being more passive(-agressive) and quiet.

they are equally observant and analytical, just for different things; izuru focuses more on skills and actions, watching and learning different things, whereas hajime observes people themselves, their emotions and motives.

they get sent to a boarding school at 12 and suddenly they dont have to switch for people and they’re thrown off. they have to sort out a schedule for themselves. hajime gets monday-wednesday-friday, and izuru gets tuesday-thursday, and they sort out weekends between them.

at this point some of the staff notice “hajime”’s ability to copy skills from others, and some of them don’t have the best intentions. at 14 hajime and izuru are sold off by a staff member to the Howards’ Foundation, who are running the Hope Cultivation Plan, quietly endorsed by Hope’s Peak Academy’s principal, Kirigiri Jin, with the funds taken from reserve course students’ buy-in.

the scientists are fascinated by izuru’s strange ability, and start showing him ultimate level material, celebrating when he copies it at a grade just underneath ultimate level. the scientists start to shove as much information into izuru as they can, trying to turn him to their Ultimate Hope, that that quickly exhausts izuru, leaving hajime to front.

hajime is subjected to several inhumane “stimulus” to attempt to draw izuru out, which obviously doesn’t work. eventually, around six months of this izuru-learning/hajime-hurting cycle, izuru and hajime find an opportunity in an unlocked door while hajime was fronting. they escape, with new medical trauma, a collection of new scars, and a deeper bond shared between izuru and hajime.

while the school noticed his disappearance, Tajima didn’t even bother checking his spam emails, and literally had no clue that his kid(s) were essentially kidnapped. hajime quickly identifies the one teacher that sold them out and izuru quietly disposes if him two and a half months later.

when they are 16, Tajima pays for their spot in HPA’s reserve course. seven months into the year, 16 reserve course students vanish into thin air, only 8 reappearing four months later in a small town on the Canadian east coast. one month of recovery, where they all refuse to speak on the matter, they are sent back to HPA.

Kirigiri Jin dies three weeks later due to a Necrotising Fasciitis infection in his mouth. his half sister, Kirigiri Yuno, the Ultimate Vigilante, takes over his previous position as principal, and instates several new tests for identifying talents, since some can be hard to spot.

11 reserve course students are found to have ultimates:

Naegi Makoto, Luck

Naegi Komaru, Computer Science

Kuzuryū Natsumi, Marksman

Shirazu Sato, Journalist

Ito Kyūsaku, Puppeteer

Hinata Hajime, Logician • Izuru, Mimic

Josei Hinami, Spirit Medium

Ozakura Kanji, Hunter

Kaname Shōgo, Animal Tamer

Taneo Tohi, Field Medic

OK FUCK YEAH ONE PART DONE, 7 TO GO

i’ll elsborate on the 16 reserve disapearances later, but i think u know whats going on...

also, NO, if this were a game, hajime would not be the protagonist! Natsumi would be our protagonist, with Sato as the antagonist, and hajime/izuru as the opposite-sex-helping character (like kyoko, chiaki, or kaede).

[collegecoward]

Hey, so I graduated this past May and since then I've just been working 40 hours a week. I feel like I need to go to college to do something with my life but I feel like theres so much in my way and I havent done anything to even start and I dont have a clue what I'd want to do. I'm so unsure on how to do anything regarding financial aid or even applying to colleges. I'm also worried that it wouldn't work with my schedule for my job. I work 5 days with 2 off days and I'm on evenings so I feel like I wouldn't be able to balance work and school, but I would have to bc I'm my only financial support. Sorry for the dumping my problems, but any advice?

How To Do College 101

Congratulations on your graduation! Working a full-time job after graduation (during a freaking pandemic, no less) is no small feat either, and I applaud you for that, too. Once upon a time, I was like you: I didn’t know anything about college except that I wanted to go, and now I run a blog telling people how to go to college. College might be strange and unfamiliar now, but in time, you will learn how to do it! 

This might be my longest post, so strap in for a fun ride!! My answer comes to you in three parts:

How To Do Community College

How To Do University

How To Do Financial Aid

P.S. I’m going to say this only once, but feel free to ask why: Do not attend a for-profit college. Okay, now onto the basics!

How To Do Community College

I encourage you to read my Ode to Community College. Community colleges are real colleges designed for people who are low on funds, are working or have other responsibilities, don’t know what they want to study yet, and/or don’t know how college works yet.

Step 1: Applying

Community colleges accept anyone who applies, and the application is usually just like filling out a job application, but you will also need to send in your high school transcript, and I recommend sending any test scores. Your college may have you take a placement test to see if you’re ready for college. If you’re not quite ready, they may have you take some pre-college courses in English or math before you officially start a degree program.

Step 2: Choosing a Degree Program

Among other things, community colleges award associate’s degrees, which are essentially the first two years of a bachelor’s degree at a four-year college or university. You’ll take introductory classes like English, math, science, and social sciences, as well as electives (i.e. fun classes). Here’s a list of programs that might be offered at your community college.

Step 3: Taking the Right Classes

Make sure you stick to your college’s degree plan so that you take classes that 1) count toward your associate’s degree and 2) will transfer to a university. Most classes you take for an associate’s degree (AA, AS, or AFA) should transfer to a bachelor’s degree (BA, BS, or BFA) easily enough, but sometimes universities aren’t very transfer-friendly. The best option is to transfer to a university that has a partnership with your community college, which is information you should be able to find on your community college’s website. If your community college doesn’t have any partners, you’ll want to research the transfer policies at the universities you’re interested in and follow their guidelines on what classes to take.

Step 4: Transferring

In your last year of community college, you will apply to a four-year college or university for your bachelor’s degree. You’ll need to pick a major when you apply because for the next two years, that’s what you will be studying. Make sure you tour the university before you attend and get acclimated before your first day! 

How To Do University

Whether or not you attend community college for the first two years or enroll directly into a four-year college or university, you’ll want to understand how to navigate the basics as early as possible.

Step 1: Exploring Your Options

Use my Self-Reflection Toolkit and this quiz from Marquette University to explore potential majors. These are just meant to get you thinking and guide you as you learn more about yourself and your interests. This process will take time to research and figure out, and if you enroll directly into a four-year college you can change your major after you apply. As I mentioned, the first two years are mostly basics and figuring stuff out, so either way you have time. 

I was very bad at choosing colleges to apply to and applied almost at random. I learned a lot from those mistakes, and on my FAQ page you’ll see me trying to impart that wisdom on others. I recommend doing your research, going on virtual tours, and getting used to just looking at college websites, even if you don’t know what you want yet. Start by window shopping for colleges in your state and see what they have to offer you. College Board also has tools for finding a college that fits your needs. It’s worth starting as early as possible, and I know that you can do it. Like I said, I was really bad at it and I still made it through.

Step 2: Applying

Applying to a four-year college will take more steps than a community college application. Many colleges require letters of recommendation, essays, and application fees (look on their websites for fee waivers). More information is on my FAQ page, of course, but be prepared to complete these steps before application deadlines. Each college sets its own deadline, but if you want to go next year, you’ll likely need to apply by January or February. Applying can be daunting, but you will need to do it at some point, even if you go to community college first. 

Step 3: Finding Resources

Access any and all resources your university offers, which will include advising, counseling, career services, and more. The same is true at a community college, but I would argue it’s even more true at a university. You might find out about internships, research opportunities, fun events, and all that stuff that excited you when you saw it on your university’s website! Even if you don’t feel like you need resources, you’re paying for them, so you might as well use them! Often people won’t know how to help you unless you tell them you’re struggling, like how you told me what you’re going through and I wrote a post that’s turning into a short novel! (I’ll be done soon, I promise.)

Step 4: Taking The Right Classes

Just like at a community college, you want to make sure you’re taking classes that count toward your degree and interest you. Make sure you’re following the prescribed degree plan on your university’s website and communicated by your advisor. If you find that you’ve chosen a major that doesn’t fit your interests, make sure you speak with your professors, your advisor, and anyone else whose opinion you trust.

How To Do Financial Aid

Step 1: Understanding The Basics

There are three major types of financial aid: loans (money you have to pay back after you graduate), grants (government money you’re awarded based on your financial need that you don’t have to pay back), and scholarships (money from a college or other source that is awarded for any reason that you don’t have to pay back). Loans might come from the government, your college, or a bank. I recommend borrowing from the federal government because the interest is so low (basically, it’s cheaper to pay off than a bank loan).

Step 2: Filling Out FAFSA

If you want to go to college next fall, or if you just want to do a practice round, fill out FAFSA now. I’m assuming you’re under 24, so you will need your parents’ tax information even if they’re not going to help you pay for college. Filling out FAFSA will never, not ever ever ever require you or your parents to take out any loans. Rather, FAFSA gives you access to any need-based financial aid you might be eligible for, whether that aid comes from the government or not. Loans agreements are a totally separate form, and you can take some loans without your parents’ help. If you’re not eligible for FAFSA, check whether your state or college has its own FAFSA alternative.

Step 3: Reading Your Award Letter

After a college sends an acceptance letter, they will also send a financial aid award letter. The letter will show you how much you’ve been awarded in scholarships and grants and how much you can take out in loans from the federal government or the college itself. You should compare your financial aid amount to the total cost of attendance, will you can find on the college’s financial aid webpage. The total cost of attendance is how much it costs to pay for tuition, fees, housing, and a rough estimate of your other living expenses. Basically, it’s how much it costs to be a student for one year.

As you said, I wouldn’t expect you to be able to work 40 hours while maintaining good grades, so may need to be frugal and creative to fill in any gaps financial aid didn’t cover. Private colleges tend to have a really big “sticker price,” but may offer generous scholarships as discounts, whereas public colleges tend to be cheaper and may have (large and small) scholarships to help you pay.

Step 4: Applying

In addition to the scholarships that you may be automatically awarded if you meet certain criteria, your colleges may also have scholarships that you have to apply for by yourself. This information will be located on a college’s financial aid webpage. There are also scholarships from nonprofit organizations and businesses. Visit my resources page for info, ask people you know if they’re aware of any scholarships, ask your boss and coworkers, and ask Google for “scholarships in [your town].”

Okay, I threw a lot at you, but those are the basics as I see them! You can totally do this. It’s going to be a big learning curve, but the payoffs will be big. And you can always come back here for more advice and reassurance. I’m proud of you already for thinking of your future and doing what you can to support yourself and your learning.

[inloveforevr]

How to gain courage to unburden myself crom academic standards

Ummmmmmmm i guess acknowledging that from a young age we’ve been conditioned to seek self-worth in academic achievements, so it makes sense that we create an expectation from ourselves to achieve as much as we can. i dont think theres anything wrong with exerting effort at school and aiming high but i dont feel like we shouldnt  derive all of our self-worth from there.  Being in university/college/s/chool it is very competitive and sometimes it feels like we arent doing enough when in reality we really are trying to keep up w/ the class and pass exams and meet deadlines while also juggling home life, work stress etc. It can become quite overwhelming. Being kind and compassion with yourself really helps to validate those feelings. Also reach out to your classmates/colleagues because they are likely feeling a similar way. If you have head of department or a personal tutor, it’s great to discuss any anxieties you have.  When I was at university, there were those ‘clever’ people who effortlessly got amazing grades, expressed themselves in seminars, basically like the perfect student and I sometimes would compare myself to them. Until I realized it wasn’t motivating me to create this expectation for myself, it was just making me feel guilty. I created my own standard. I based it on if I enjoyed the assignment, if I learnt something new, if I enjoyed the presence of the lecturer and not judging myself according to a number. This self-belief became stronger in my final year of uni. I thought to myself I am not gonna let my whole existence be defined by a number on one assignment. When I kind of let go of that standard, I enjoyed my degree way more because I was looking at the experience I had of the module rather than the final grade. I guess sometimes I was disappointed with myself for not working harder but I knew that committing to this degree & moving out was a proud achievement so I didn’t let that feeling get to me. I guess what i’m trying to say is academia should be an opportunity to learn more about the world, learn more about yourself and connect with people (ik rn that isnt a universal experience because of deep stuff i cant name rn as i am ill ). I guess remind yourself, you are human, you are learning something new, you will make mistakes and that is okay. You don’t need to meet any standards you’ve internalized from society or your family and friends. You signed up for your course, you are the person that will be spending their energy on doing assignments/exams/work experience, whatever it is, so that means you should create a narrative where you feel empowered. Be easy on yourself, academia is a difficult place to navigate, it does make you question your abilities esp when its been shoved down our throat since a young age. Your intelligence, your self-worth, your magic on this earth can never ever be defined by a grade. If you are struggling please, pleaseeeeeeeeeee reach out to someone. Speak to your friends at school/uni/college and tell them how you feel. It really helps. Reach out to your uni/college/school and seek support from them too. There are allocated resources to help you manage and additionally organisations that can help you work through your feelings. Ik i’m a stranger giving advice and I don’t know you but please find a therapist if it is affecting you on a day-to-day basis. You will be okay <3

[flange5]

Hi angie! I just had a quick question that, if it's okay, I'd like to get your perspective on as a teacher. I ended up in 2 of this one professor's classes this semester and I really liked his class structure, and him as an instructor - so I signed up for more of them next term. Is that a weird thing to do? I know you dont speak for every teacher but wokekwkwks thank you

Hi, anon!

That’s a really good question and I can see both why you’d do it and both why you might be a bit nervous to do it. 

SO, first off your professor doesn’t think you’re weird or a kiss-ass, so if that’s your concern, feel better! We often are excited to get repeat students bc it means there are names we don’t have to memorize, personalities and learning styles we’re already comfortable with, and it is kind of validating to know a student felt good enough about their experience in another class to sign on again. 

That said, there are some things to consider about diversifying:

1) Rec letters. This professor is likely going to be your go-to for recommendation letters for internships, transfer if that’s a possibility, grad school if that’s a possibility, scholarships and grants,  possibly a job. So on the one hand this person is a natural bc they’ll know you WELL and that means they can build a picture of you that is much more individual than someone who only saw a student in one class and didn’t really interact much.

BUT. Be aware that you may be putting a lot of eggs in one basket. So, if you really like this prof but they’re disorganized or bad with deadlines, you may have some stress if you’re relying on them for this. ALSO, make sure you are also making relationships with other professors in your major/field even though you are obviously taking a bunch with this professor–I might make an extra effort to drop by office hours early in the semester for OTHER professors so they can start to build a positive picture of you and also start to hoard things to say in case you ask them for letters in the future.

–HONESTLY, I wish people would more directly talk to students about recommendation letters early in their college careers, and how to strategize for getting good letters. Start in your first semester, so you have options and backups. I just had a student who I’ve known for 3 weeks (i.e. I don’t know her at all) ask me for a letter, because a prof in another major is apparently ghosting her after saying yes and I’m in the position of saying I CAN write her a letter and I’ll do my best to make it as good as possible, but I can’t lie, they will ask how long I’ve known her, and it’s going to be hard for me to write her an effective letter that will do anything other than check a box on their checklist, but she still wants me to do it, either because I’m approachable or because she’s not had/cultivated relationships in her previous classes that allow her to ask other people.

/side rant/PSA

2) coverage of field--professors have areas of specialization in their field, so by sticking with one prof you may be getting a kind of lopsided view of your major–that said, your department/institution has coverage requirements and this is only really an issue to consider if you’re strongly considering grad school or employment truly based in your major and trying to avoid accidental blind spots in your preparation.

3) pre-emptive damage control–not to catastrophize, but the only other concern I’d have about loading up another two classes with this professor is that if you have a falling out with them between now and the end of the semester, that’s going to make next semester difficult and stressful for you (and them). But if you feel like there’s a good rapport/match, why borrow trouble–if something goes super sidewise, you can always switch sections or move things around. To avoid this, it’s really important to avoid nasty surprises–be aware of syllabus policies, especially for late/short work, and of the grade breakdown–how much are different things worth, so you don’t get blindsided by anything and carry that upset with you in the future. The cool thing about a 4x repeat prof, though is that we tend to carry over our policies from class to class so you’ll likely be super familiar with this one guy’s rules. 

related: I often recommend my first years write out class specific policies in the cover of that class’s notebook/folder if they keep one, or create a master sheet listing the policies for each class and saving it to the phone and posting it on the fridge/somewhere prominent as a reminder–late work policies, short/long work policies, contact info, weird specific rules about how/how not to submit work (electronic or not, will they accept emailed work as a time stamp even if they will require a hard copy later?) yadda yadda, so when it’s 1am and you’re exhausted and sick and can’t brain you can just glance at a bullet point list for that class tomorrow and know whether or not it’s worth pushing through or taking a 5% hit for late work bc this professor accepts it with a minimal penalty but that jerk in the afternoon doesn’t accept late work, so prioritize them. You don’t want to mess that up and it’s so easy to mess that up.  

tl;dr, but it won’t be an issue for your professor, but there are some potential opportunity costs in terms of relationships, experiences with other professors, and a slight risk if the relationship goes south. But if you do preventative maintenance, you’ll have done a great job of engineering a semester where a good chunk of your classes will be taught by someone you’re comfortable with, and who can write you a great letter! That’s pretty good!

I hope that helps, and I’m sorry I rambled so long. Pity my students. 

[color-me-jazzy]

Assimilation and The Cost of the Cloak of Opportunity

      From birth to around five years old, all children are allowed to live in their own little bubble. When they aren’t busy playing in their mom’s shadow, they’re picking up language, mannerisms, and curiosity about the world they see daily.  Right about when a child’s personality has become their own and is blossoming into their unique flower, we throw them into a pot of other blossoming flowers called school. Generally, parents trust teachers to toss this pot of social flowers around until they’ve mixed into even more unique and well-rounded flowers that like engaging with other flowers. Unfortunately, what actually happens is these flowers are tossed around and the dissimilar flowers that cannot change themselves to grow like the “dominant” flowers are pushed to the bottom of the pot, where they will wither away. This is elementary school in today’s American education system for minorities. Right when a black child is sure of who they are as a six-year-old, they are sent to an institution that will subconsciously tell them who they are and where they come from is not good enough to be represented. Growing louder and more blatant, black kids will be reminded of this for 11 more years and into adulthood.

         Assimilation to the macro-culture, or White America, is subconsciously instilled in minorities at a very young age. However, isn’t made a conscious survival tactic for the student until around middle school, when race is a blatant differentiator amongst peer social groups. During the pivotal developmental stages of elementary school, students are given picture books full of only fair skinned individuals, subconsciously starting the process of assimilation to the macroculture through imagery. Reading material is only derived from white authors, teaching the thought process and social norms of the macroculture they are a part of. Only one side of history is told and repeated for 12 years of history classes, never acknowledging other cultures true journey to America. Teachers give praise to Martin Luther King Jr. but then hang a picture of the slave owning founding fathers next to his and expect a black student to feel comfortable and trust them. Elementary schools, and especially magnet or charter schools, have had a trend of showcasing “diversity” amongst their student body. While showcasing that their student body is 3% less white than the year previous, their learning material still remains created by and for those of the macroculture. With lack of representation in learning materials, the black student’s identity is lost in what they have learned is preparation for the real world. In a way, the lack of representation and stripping of identity into assimilation is the preparation the black student learns to use to be able to be seen in the same light and bestowed the same learning opportunities as their white peers.

       As discussed in my previous post, black children are not seen as children but more as adults by the general public. Because the black child is not given the benefit of being a child in this world, a bias adult sees their actions through glasses of malice. Middle school is when the red target on the black student starts to faintly appear. Extreme and/or uncaused disciplinary actions are an additional obstacle minority students have to dodge on a daily basis. Innocent horse play that many boy middle schoolers take part in is deemed disrespectful misconduct if it is dressed in brown skin. However, if kids of a fairer skin complexation interact in a similar fashion, they are hurried along to their classrooms by teachers. Teachers begin to have less patience for the black student as they approach adolescence, especially the male. Black boys are exposed to the unfairness of the school disciplinary system at an early age to solidify the doubts teachers instill in their minds. For example, I had a friend in middle school who slept a lot in class because his mother worked nights and he had to watch his little sisters. The teacher never asked him his story, instead, started skipping him when handing out worksheets. When he would ask for a paper the teacher would tell him there is no use because he wasn’t going to be awake the next day to turn it in. Small encounters like this every day in multiple classes begin to add up and take a toll on one’s mental, emotional, academic, and overall self-esteem.

              Black boys face unfair treatment; however, they are not the only ones. Black girls face their own set of obstacles starting as early as preschool. Rebecca Epstein, a Georgetown Law student, conducted a report that concluded, “disparities in how black girls are viewed emerge as early as age 5, when some children are still in preschool” and later adding “[learning that] Adultification begins as young as the age of 5 was particularly sobering. That means that adults may even see little girls in kindergarten differently, needing less nurturing and support than their white peers” (Epstein, 2015).

           Adolescence brings curves and hormones that no girl ever asked for. When it comes to dress code, the black girls unwarranted changing body image puts her at the for front of violations because her simple shorts and top are now too sexual. The same shorts a skinnier child can wear and stay under the radar, are too distracting for the boys or male teachers to be around. So, she is taken out of the class, missing learning time, to get written up because her shorts don’t reach the tip of her fingers. Makenzie Chakara, a writer for americanprogress.org, states,

“Suspensions of black girls are often driven by teacher bias and inefficient mental health resources; they also occur when students break school rules that are inherently racially biased. For example, a charter school in Massachusetts recently suspended two black sisters for wearing natural braided hairstyles, which violated the school dress code” (Chakara, 2017).

       Black girls are often exposed to early conditioning of the criminal justice system through unnecessary small encounters with the school disciplinary office. I, myself, was sent home from my primarily white middle school one day because another girl lied and said I had pushed her in the cafeteria. Without any other witnesses affirming her claim, not my A Honor Roll, perfect attendance, or squeaky clean disciplinary record gave me the benefit of the doubt. With this said, black kids are not perfect, just like no kid is perfect, and wrong doing deserves corrective action. However, the extreme difference in the level of punishment a black child receive versus a white child is evident. More often, a white child will receive the benefit of the doubt before a black child. Jaqueline Howard, a writer for CNN wrote an article discussing the findings of Georgetown Law’s research on the treatment of black girls. Howard plainly states, “the research suggests that adults may perceive that black girls need less nurturing and protection than white girls, which could influence how black girls are treated in the education or juvenile justice systems” (Howard, 2017).

            Over all, school institutions paint a picture that all anyone has to do is get good grades and all doors are open to them. Of course, not acknowledging the social dynamic that one has to be dressed in to walk through these doors. In order to be a part of, a minority student must lay low. This means stripping the mannerisms and perspectives that makes one uniquely themselves when they walk into a learning institution and donning in their macroculture cloak of opportunity. Unfortunately, not all students of minority are able to assimilate to the macroculture easily or don’t see the point and fall to face the cycle built for African Americans of America. For the great deal of those who manage to maintain both identities within the two cultures, they know they have to manage personalities delicately, as to not become an outcast in either community. School systems showcase diversity while it is a trend but do not cater their materials to reflect their demographic, aiding in the stripping of micro-cultural identity and assimilation to the macro-culture. While the subconscious perpetuation of the racial hierarchy begins at an early age, it is enforced throughout all twelve years. While social identity is questioned within one’s self, a new identity, based on stereotypes, is forced onto black students through disciplinary actions.

Chakara, Mackenzie. “From Preschool to Prison: The Criminalization of Black Girls.” Center for American Progress, 13 Dec. 2017, www.americanprogress.org/issues/race/news/2017/12/08/443972/preschool-prison-criminalization-black-girls/.

Howard, Jacqueline. “Adults View Black Girls as 'Less Innocent,' Study Says.” CNN, Cable News Network, 28 June 2017, www.cnn.com/2017/06/28/health/black-girls-adultification-racial-bias-study/index.html.

Levin, Matt. “Data Exclusive: 75 Percent of Black California Boys Don't Meet State Reading Standards.” CALmatters, 12 Feb. 2018, calmatters.org/articles/data-exclusive-75-of-black-california-boys-dont-meet-reading-standards/.

[kbreenreads]

Week 7 Activity: Reading Log #2

Reading Log #2

Traditional Tale

Scieszka, John. (1989). The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs! Viking Children’s Books.

Summary: In this “fractured fairy tale”, the traditional story of The Three Little Pigs is told from the perspective of the wolf. As “Alexander T. Wolf” tells what he refers to as “his side” of the story, he is insistent that he is not so big and bad as we might believe, and that the events of the original Three Little Pigs story are all one big misunderstanding. For example, he only visited the pigs’ houses to borrow sugar for his grandmother’s birthday cake, and ended up blowing down the pigs houses by accident due to his sneezing cold. The wolf ends the story locked up in prison, though he still claims that he was framed for everything.

Personal Comments: Because this book is a “fractured fairy tale”, it gives a fresh, somewhat modern twist on a traditional story. This puts it in a unique position in terms of evaluation: some of the criteria for evaluating traditional tales applies to it, while some does not seem to fit. One quote from the Vardell text stood out to me while evaluating this book: “The reteller’s style in capturing a traditional tale is partly based on one individual’s unique voice and partly based on the need for capturing the sound of spoken language in print” (97). While reading this book, I kept thinking that it seemed perfect for a read-aloud event, as the Wolf (also the story’s narrator) tells the story with plenty of personality and humor. Vardell also states that “The themes in traditional tales are big, global messages with a clear stance on the importance of good triumphing over evil” (97). This is one of the evaluation criteria points which I feel this book diverges from, as “good” and “evil” aren’t so clearly defined in this version of the story. The “big bad” wolf is seen as more sympathetic, while the pigs (who are traditionally known as the “good” characters) are unfairly rude and judgmental to the wolf.

Library Use: I think this would be a great book to read to children directly after reading them the original Three Little Pigs story, then have them compare and contrast the two perspectives of the story’s events. The original story has very set-in-stone “good and evil” roles, while this version makes things more ambiguous. Therefore, hearing children’s thoughts on the wolf’s character would be interesting.

Poetry

Latham, Irene & Waters, Charles. (2018). Can I Touch Your Hair? Poems of Race, Mistakes, and Friendship. Carolrhoda Books.

Summary: In this collection of poems, fictional elementary school versions of poets Irene Latham and Charles Waters are paired up for a poetry assignment. Irene is white, and Charles is black. The assignment has them writing poetry about their everyday experiences, which ends up highlighting their differences in an honest way. However, the assignment also shows them that they have more in common than they might have originally expected.

Personal Comments: One of the first things I noticed while reading this book is how the poems by Irene are structured quite differently than the poems by Charles. One question Vardell asks in regards to rhythm is “does the poet use short lines to create a staccato rhythm or long couplets to create a flow?” (130). Irene’s poems have short, staccato lines, while Charles’ poems have long, flowing lines. The fact that the two poets/characters poems always appear side by side on each set of pages does even more to highlight the differences between the two of them. Vardell also brings up the emotions involved in poetry: “poems also have an emotional impact, making us laugh or sigh or feel what the poet might have felt capturing this moment” (31). The poems in this book contain plenty of complex, sometimes uncomfortable emotions, but do so in what I feel is a realistic way that doesn’t feel forced. One point where this stood out to me was a poem where Charles discusses witnessing police brutality in the news, and feeling conflicting emotions as he recalls a time where a cop helped him untangle his shoelaces from a chain-link fence. The final line of this poem reads “it makes my heart twist, without any hope of being disentangled.”

Library Use: This book could be a great tool to start an honest discussion with children about race, as it goes beyond the typical “we’re all the same inside” message and really highlights the differences in growing up white vs. growing up black. I might ask children which poems they found relatable and which ones they did not, and if the ones they did not relate to taught them anything new.

Realistic Fiction

Rhodes, Jewell Parker. (2020). Black Brother, Black Brother. Orion Children’s Books.

Summary: This book tells the story of Donte, seventh-grader who is one of the only black boys at the upper-class prep school he attends. Donte’s older brother, Trey, presents as white. Because of this, he has a much easier time fitting in at school than Donte, who is constantly subjected to racist bullying by his classmates and discrimination by his teachers and the school’s faculty. Donte’s main bully, Alan, causes Donte to be suspended from school at the start of the book. Alan is the star of the school’s fencing team, so Donte decides to get back at him by beating him at his own game. He begins to learn how to fence and is coached by a former olympic fencer who now works at the Boys and Girls Club (and has also faced his share of racial discrimination). Through fencing and his new friendship with his coach, Donte is able to learn more about himself and grow as a person. Eventually, he faces off in a fencing match against Alan and wins.

Personal Comments: Vardell states that in realistic fiction, “we’re looking for a story that feels current, that could happen today in the world as we know it” (169). The start of this story sees Donte being suspended from school and taken into police custody over something he didn’t do, as a result of racial discrimination from his school’s faculty. Unfortunately, this is something that can and absolutely does happen today in the world - and it’s important for young readers to be aware of it. Vardell also notes that “the climax and conclusion of the story are also critical and should seem inevitable, but not obvious; hopeful, if not always happy” (170). While the story does end on a happy note, with Donte winning against Alan during the fencing championships, there are still aspects of the plot that are left open-ended. Donte’s mom’s court case against the school system is still ongoing, and not all of Donte’s issues at school have been completely resolved. The book ends with Donte taking part in a “heritage sit-in” at school, with the last line simply reading “One small step.” This sets a hopeful tone, despite the loose ends still present.

Library Use: This book explores a lot of interesting topics that would be worth discussing in a book group - probably for grades 5-7. Donte’s experience of being unfairly suspended and taken out of school by the police is something that unfortunately happens to young black students often in real life. Raising children's awareness on these issues by bringing up real-life news stories which describe cases similar to Donte’s is one way this book could be put into action. Another idea that could be inspiring for children is to invite a black fencer to come speak about the sport and their experiences in it.

Diverse Book

Gino, Alex. (2015). George. Scholastic.  

Summary: The story’s main character, George, is a transgender girl who calls herself Melissa. At the start of the story, Melissa keeps her gender identity a secret from her family and friends, and even has a hidden stash of fashion magazines in her room. When Melissa’s class puts on the play Charlotte’s Web, Melissa decides she wants to play the role of Charlotte in order to show the world who she really is. However, the role ends up going to Melissa’s friend, Kelly. After having a negative experience with coming out to her mom, Melissa works out a plan to swap roles with Kelly in the play. Melissa ends up successfully performing the role of Charlotte, and after seeing the performance her mom seems to understand her a bit better.

Personal Comments:

In the School Library Journal article “Can Diverse Books Save Us?”, school librarian Nancy Snow states that “we can help develop empathy if we read books about others and try to put ourselves in their shoes.” In this book, young readers get to see the world through Melissa’s eyes and experience some of her struggles of growing up transgender - including not being understood and accepted by classmates, teachers, and even her mom. Reading this book can help those who aren’t transgender understand and emphasize with those who are. It also has the potential to help young readers who are transgender feel seen or even better understand themselves. George is a contemporary realistic fiction novel, and Vardell states that “Most contemporary realistic novels for young people focus on the search for an independent identity, the desire for an understanding of one’s role within families, friendships, blossoming romances, and other landmarks of growing up into adulthood” (171). This fits the plot of the story well, as it entirely revolves around Melissa forming and becoming more comfortable and confident in her own identity.

Library Use: This would be a great book to feature during pride month as it gives young readers the opportunity to get a glimpse of what life is like for a transgender child. A way to highlight this book might be to invite a transgender activist/speaker to come speak about the book and also share some of their own experiences.

Challenged Book

Telgemeier, Raina. (2012). Drama. Scholastic.

Summary: This graphic novel follows seventh-grader Callie, who is in the stage crew of her school’s musical. Callie is a bit boy-crazy and tends to fall for anyone who is nice to her, which leads to her developing a crush on Jesse, a boy who is in the stage crew with her. Callie is also friends with Jesse’s twin brother, Justin, who confesses to her at lunch one day that he is gay. After two successful performances of the school musical, the final performance faces a setback when the musical’s lead actress refuses to perform after being broken up with by West, the other lead. Jesse rushes in at the last minute to replace her, even wearing a dress and kissing West as part of the performance. Jesse later goes to the school dance with Callie, but ends up ditching her to talk to West. When Callie confronts him about it, he confides that he is gay, but thanks her for being a good friend to him.

Personal Comments: According to the ALA, Drama was the seventh most banned or challenged book of the 2010s due to its LGBTQ content. Drama serves as a great contemporary realistic fiction story because much like in Raina’s autobiographical series, its plot weaves together more familiar issues that all young readers will find relatable with issues that are less common but still likely prevalent in many young readers lives, in this case discovering and accepting one’s sexuality. As Vardell states, “This expanding range of life experiences is part of our global society in the twenty-first century” (152). The themes in Drama are well-presented in the way that they “emerge naturally from the story, from the conflicts in the plot, and from the nature of the characters” (Vardell, 171).

Library Use: This would be another great title to highlight during pride month, considering there are three different LGBTQ characters in the story. Though the characters in this story are middle schoolers, I would probably want to discuss it with fourth or fifth-graders - according to Vardell, children “typically enjoy reading about protagonists who are a year or two older than they are, ostensibly giving them a glimpse of the growing up years ahead” (150).

Historical Fiction

Kushman, Karen. (1996). The Midwife’s Apprentice. Houghton Mifflin.

Summary: This story takes place in medieval Europe and follows a young homeless and nameless orphan girl. When the local midwife offers the girl food in exchange for work, she becomes the midwife’s apprentice. Though the midwife, Jane, is not very kind to the young girl, she works hard to learn all she can from her. Eventually, the girl ends up naming herself Alyce. Over time, Alyce becomes so skilled at midwifery that she is able to deliver babies on her own, but temporarily gives up on it after one particularly difficult experience with a delivery. However, Alyce comes to realize that she is truly passionate about being a midwife and feels that it has given her life purpose, and in the end she goes back to work for Jane.

Personal Comments: According to the Vardell text, an important aspect of historical fiction is accuracy and validity within the story’s plot. “Historical validity rests in accurately recreating the social fabric of the times and the patterns of daily life” (205). The Midwife’s Apprentice is very honest, sometimes brutally so, about what life was like for the poor during medieval times. Alyce starts the story without anything in the world: not a family, a home, or even a name - displaying the harsh reality of the lives of homeless orphaned children. It also goes into quite a bit of detail about childbirth (more than I was expecting from a children’s book, at least) and how dangerous it could be before the existence of modern medicine. Vardell also notes that in historical fiction, “Universal themes that still speak to readers of today carry as much weight as ever” (207). Though readers may not be able to relate to Alyce’s exact situation, they will still appreciate her experience of trying, failing, then trying again. One of the main themes of this story is resilience - a value which is important for young readers to witness in a character.

Library Use: This story goes into great detail about what midwifery and childbirth was like during medieval times, but things have definitely changed over the years. I think it could be interesting and educational to bring in an actual midwife who could do a presentation comparing and contrasting the book’s description of the profession during medieval times to what the profession is actually like today.

Audiobook

Parish, Peggy. (1963). Amelia Bedelia. Greenwillow Books. Narrated by Suzanne Toren.

Summary: On her first day as a maid for the Rogers family, Amelia Bedelia performs the chores on the list that was left for her. However, she ends up taking the instructions a bit too literally and as a result does not do any of the chores correctly. For example, when told to “dust the furniture” she sprinkles dusting powder on everything. When the Rogers family gets home, they find their house a complete disaster. They are about to fire Amelia, until they try the lemon meringue pie she baked for them. The pie tastes so good that they decide to keep Amelia as a maid despite everything she has done wrong.

Personal Comments: I chose this audiobook because I was curious about what the approach to it would be. As someone who is familiar with the print version of the book, I know that a lot of the humor comes from the pictures, as they tend to tell parts of the story that the text does not. I learned pretty quickly that the purpose of this audiobook is to help children as they read along to the print version of the book, rather than something to be listened to on its own. At the start of the audiobook before the story begins, the narrator instructs readers to “follow along in their book.” Considering that Amelia Bedelia is a beginning readers book, this kind of format makes sense. This audiobook was well-produced and met most of the Odyssey guidelines, such as the narrator having “good voice quality, diction, and timing.” The entire narration contained light, upbeat background music, which “represents the emotional and structural content of the text.”

Library Use: Amelia Bedelia is a beginning readers book, and this audiobook seems like it is meant to help children follow along as they read (rather than be listened to on its own). Despite this, it could still be a very useful tool if the library was to run a book group for children who are learning to read independently.

[suspendedfl00r]

Hello,

My soul yearns for a good write to try to make sense of my world right now. I haven’t found the most success writing pen to paper; due to the fact I’m always tired and fall asleep or just feel guilty like I should be doing other thinks like work. This narrative follows my overall process with creation which is fine cause sometimes you gotta just focus on school. I am curious if I should just delete all my social media apps again. Also curious as to why I feel I need adderall to function. I essentially dream of days where I can just wake up at a normal time get out of bed and just do life. Getting energy for breakfast and working out, and being more delicate with the way I nourish myself. I guess that goes in more ways than one as even considering the media and conversations I intake + the things I exchange energy and time with being different. I wish to spend my free time reading books, eating cleaner maybe plant-based, working out doing yoga, painting drawing embroidering tinkering with electronics, tinkering with models making clothes, drawing imaginary architecture, making models of it. Writing poetry, playing the guitar, making YouTube videos, + beautiful media.

I guess when I think of all the things I wish I could do I get so distracted from the present. I’ve been trying to detach from this idea I have of myself just being better and accepting myself as I am in order to be more real about moving into those spaces I wish to fill. What I mean by that is: rather than looking at my art, the architecture I’ve done, or think about what I have done and how it is not enough compared to where I wish to be; I’m trying to shift my energy towards being happy I have these skills and I’ve done what I have as experiments as a process. Rather than distilling fear into these areas of my life wondering if I’m good enough or what I’ve done is good enough, I wish to be at that place where I am just doing, experimenting not being held back by my fears or yearnings to be comfortable in my bed. But jumping out of bed to try something new, or planning my meals and bed time carefully so I do have time to squeeze in all these dreams and aspirations making use of all my time, energy, and money rather than just sitting in my room waiting for the opportunity to present itself.

Anyway that is the first layer of my mind the second layer consists of my responsibilities and having confidence in my movement. Staying focused and not getting distracted.// so I gues this has three dimensions work, school, personal life: lately I’ve been loosing slee from the demanding rhythm of life: working the two jobs has been a great blessing and learning process. However it has been really rough lately just to get out of bed and go to the work that pays the bills: which annoys me cause In the back of my mind I overthink about how I am perceived in the work place. Also T.A.‘ing has been super stressful. I guess I’m putting too much effort in the wrong places: with the professor I am bothered with how unorganized and over assigning work, the kids are just assholes that takes shit to the dean after I spent two days pulling all nighters to give them feedback. The whole class has been a shit show, and I feel both the students and the professor lack to take responsibility and I am just in the middle trying to help, but not doing so well as I’ve not taken this class. Also underplayed and forgetting to clock my hours.

Concerning my own classes I just pretty much fell behind the last couple of weeks from just lacking focus, which needs to be addressed as a real issue because no matter what I have to shoot for the A+ and practice statics so hard that I pass the class with flying colors I am definitely doing better than previous semesters but I want to have all of this class understood and down pat. So I will not struggle in solids next semester. Overall my biggest issue is that worksite from both jobs has been prioritized over my course which is due to the fact of paying bills, paying for school, and buying adderal(also been hard to find)

So as far as my personal life it is just a ball of stress and money especially when thinking about the car how I need to fix it. Wanting to have a good relationship with my family. Having kam around really helps but also adds to the stress as I’m usually a concerned about feeding us, overly sharing of my drugs and time. He is a Superman the way he works and I wish the best for him but I also realize I must see my self in the same light, and sometimes I see him as not having g his shit together and literally needing my help and this is wrong because that view reflects on the way I look at myself. His presence I really value but I often catch myself using him as a blanket to run away from my responsibilities. So as I feel myself with him, I see what I’m doing how it makes me crazy and I want him to just take care of all my problems for me the way I try to do for him. So essentially I find myself creating cycles of overdepency or toxic interdependency where my movement is based on his. Which is bad because we do move entirely different. He is so important to me because I feel he is my only friend really who gets me and hears me out and doesn’t judge me like my family does, while also loving me and actually caring instead of just using me like many of my friends do to just fill up their time as they run from their loneliness. He reminds me of reasons to be happy, while also reminding me that the stresses of the real world are real but you just do it.

so all in all I am doing okay and I still have time to do everything I want In this life and even this semester. My creative pursuits do not need to be happening now, however I am preppingg for them by focusing on my priorities of the now.

Which seem so jumbly because the lack of sleep. But really it’s simple!

Top priority: take care of yourself first! Eat nourishing food sleep at good times, exercise when you can and Allow yourself time to breathe. Stop worrying about how you are perceived and out overthinking to rest. Simply be gentle and loving to yourself by showing up for life. Nurture ur growth first. Before you consider Anyone or anything else!!

Priority #2 pass statics!!!

Study what you did not understand!! Chapter 21-22 then refresh on all the things you found tricky. Do all the exams and remember to not depend of reference material.

priority 03 pay bills/work

First acknowledge you need to be a good worker so stop delaying and pushing g things off. Just get them done, show up on time.

-stop breaking your back for people who will not notice/care

-to be avoid worker simply do the job you don’t have to go above and beyond but do the job well. ThAts it.

-do not let your jobs affecut your emotions: you are not defined by them in anyway and you are just there to do the work and make money. Dont over give, demand respect and don’t be a push over: be confident and focuses that your time and energy must be conserved to focus I. School: stop feeling guilty about work. Feel grateful that you are lucky to have two jobs during this plague! So echa me ganas.

As far as TA’ing

Get grades in but have a plan!!

Grade all project one and 2 then enter the rest of the grades

Also stop overworking yourself here for pretty much nothing. It’s not worth it girl. The professor and students jobs are not ur responsibility!

-do not let it get in the way of statics

Final remark: so yes I might feel super flakey about work life rn: but those spaces are temporary and do not let it distract you from the mission to graduate As the architect engineer master crafter!!! To learn! You are not the only flake everyone is struggling and you have a lot on your plate which you have communicated. So do not wear the guilt of the working world. You are a student and you get to participate in the work I g world and as long as you communicate and so your job you are ok!!

-as far as today go in to work

Focus on staying concentrated!!

Do good work

Tomorrow is a day off you can catch up then!! Also be happy share positivity with yourself and others!

You are doing fine! There is a lot going on but it will calm down! You got this!

[mslloyds-reflections]

Journal 4 - September 20, 2020

How would you modify your classroom management plan in an online learning environment?

2020 has been undoubtedly one of the most challenging times for education in modern history. Education all around the world has been altered to meet the new needs that Covid has brought to the world. The article in this module, “Classroom Routines Must Change - Teaching Under Covid,” points out three important tips for teachers during remote learning, and hybrid learning which many schools are transitioning to. They point out that frequent communication between students, teachers and parents is essential this school year. This is uncharted territory for everyone, and with all of the changes and expectations to the way school will work, communication is extremely important. It can be extremely overwhelming for parents trying to figure out how to make sure their child is doing their schoolwork or balancing hybrid learning schedules, students are experiencing school in a way they never have before and changing the dynamic of the classroom, and teachers are trying to navigate a new way of teaching they have not really been prepared for while trying to think 15 steps ahead of what is currently happening. Communication that keeps everyone informed and up to date is key to teaching this fall. The second point that the article makes is that students still need to be challenged with cognitively demanding work. With this idea, however, it must be taken into consideration that learning digitally is going to be very difficult for some students who cannot easily get instant feedback or help from teachers. Their work should still include the opportunity to analyze texts, work through complicated problems, test hypotheses and have discussions. School work should still be meaningful and help to develop necessary skills while still being accommodated to distance learning. The third point that the article makes is that students will need more support than normal. They point out that students are coming into the fall term with unfinished learning from the spring. It is suggested to do a formative assessment at the beginning of the year to determine where students are at, what they remember and what they still need help with before jumping into their learning.

There are also a lot of changes with how the classroom is structured in general that needs to be taken into consideration. Creating a sense of community is extremely important when teaching virtually. Teachers should create an introduction video as well as provide students with a tour of the online learning platform that they can return to if they need help submitting or locating assignments and participating in general. Teachers also need to be mindful that many students are going to be uncomfortable turning on webcams during whole-class meetings. It might be beneficial for students to hold class meetings with smaller groups or to rotate between breakout groups that cut down the number of students slightly. I think that virtual learning can be an extremely intimate thing for students, which might be why many are uncomfortable. They are sharing their home and their personal lives with classmates who they may not be familiar or comfortable with. Along with these alterations for teachers to make for virtual learning, there is also a new way for students to learn “classroom” etiquette. As the YouTube videos in this module point out, there are many new do’s and dont’s to learning. Staying focused and limiting distractions is crucial to keeping engaged with the learning. Students also need to be mindful of lighting and camera positionings and limiting the amount of distractions they have in their camera that can affect their classmates focus as well. 2020’s learning environment is so different from what everyone knows, and it is a lot of information and change for everyone. 

I personally have found it very successful how most of my courses throughout remote learning have been organized. I am familiar with online classes from my two years at Columbus State, where I elected to take classes virtually instead of in person. In this regard, I am comfortable and familiar with the websites my classes have been held in and navigating a virtual classroom. I have not, however, had to do virtual webcam courses until Covid-19. I was completely unaware of virtual learning etiquette during video classes. While it seems like common sense for most of the pointers, I find myself distracted with animals in my room (or  mydogs popping up in front of the camera) or I find that I’ll forget to turn a light on and end up as a black screen when lighting fades towards the end of my classes. One of the etiquette considerations that I have struggled with the most is keeping my camera turned on throughout class. I know how difficult teaching remotely is for teachers, and not being able to see students makes it even more difficult, but turning on my camera is one of my least favorite parts of remote learning. I am fortunate enough to be able to complete my classes in the peace and quiet of my room, but I become extremely aware of my surroundings when I am in my room. I become uncomfortable showing my room in the background or seeing my wall with patched holes that still need repainted. I even feel weird about my bed being seen in the background if I sit at my desk, not to mention some of the camera angles that can be often unflattering. Sometimes, these little insecurities and anxieties distract me from actually staying engaged with the lesson, so I turn off the camera. This is something that can be remedied, but I know for many students, there are not as many options of places and ways to learn. I also know that teachers would much rather see a students face than a blank screen, so it can be a difficult thing to balance. 

Since I don’t have a field placement currently, I cannot make many connections to the field. I will reflect on my mother’s teaching set up though since that is as close to the field as I am right now (even though the grade level is much lower than the classroom I would be in). When moving to remote learning in the spring, her school primarily went to Google Classroom to house all assignments. She uses the app ClassTag to keep in contact with parents, so she was always updating them with the weekly assignments and tasks, despite there not being many because of the sudden transition. It was difficult in the spring for many teachers to quickly learn how to use a website or an app that they had not learned before, and for many of her urban parents to learn how to use as well. The goal quickly became: get as many students online as you can, and provide them with assignments to do to get them familiar and keep them working on something. Most of the assignments could be classified as busy-work, given out just to keep the students working on something during quarantine, and it was an extreme struggle to get them online and familiar with the websites. In the spring, my mother was only able to hold two virtual meetings which had about half attendance rate (only about 13 students out of almost 30). This fall, however, with a little bit more time to prepare and familiarize herself, my mother was able to set up a classroom space in our basement. She put up a small word wall and her pocket charts that she uses regularly and has transitioned to mostly virtual classes. She meets every morning as a whole group, giving an overview and doing a smaller lesson that all students will need to be present for (usually math lessons). She then has her class broken into four groups who meet at specific times everyday for roughly 30 minutes. During that time, she can provide specialized instruction based on their learning needs, do reading lessons, etc. When students are not in their group meetings, they are to be doing assignments on her Google page. During her virtual trainings over the summer she was also introduced to many resources that she has practiced with to be more comfortable. She created a virtual classroom on google to mimic her real classroom, and that houses all of the links that any student or parent might need. Her virtual classroom links the Google Classroom, the meeting links, reading resources and more. Despite being more confident and being able to have more meaningful and engaging meetings with her students, one of the biggest struggles has been the etiquette portion of remote learning. She has a great system in place with mute and unmute cards and lots of physical gestures that students can do throughout their meetings, but since it is a first grade class, many parents are also present during the meetings. There was one particular incident with a student forgetting to mute herself, and the entire class being able to hear her parent yelling and cursing in the background. I don’t believe there has been any other incidents like that one, but she is also running into the problem of parents being a little bit too involved. During a reading quiz she gave, my mother noticed a parent was reading the test to the daughter. When she asked her to let her child read the quiz on her own (as it was a reading quiz after all), she noticed the student looking up at presumably her mother behind the computer when she was unsure. Being able to accurately grade assignments and assessments for these younger students will be a challenge that she is still working through. I would be curious to see how middle level teachers handle this type of issue as well.

While I hopefully am not beginning my teaching career during a pandemic, I know how crucial it is to be familiar with virtual learning. While I do hope that it is over by the time I have my own classroom, I know that Covid is going to change the way the world works for a very long time, so it is best to be familiar and current with how to teach. While I had always been very interested in having a classroom that is very tech-friendly, I see how useful it can be to have resources saved and have students familiar with an online platform. In my teaching practices in the future, I might look into having a class website that students can log onto to print or turn in their assignments as well as some virtual assignments that they can do. I know that this does greatly depend on where I end up teaching and what resources the district has, but it seems like education was already moving in a tech-friendly direction before the pandemic anyway, so there is no better time to embrace that and learn how to do it than right now. If I was to teach remotely at some point, I think the concept of virtual breakout groups and small group meeting times is extremely beneficial. It not only allows a teacher to work more one-on-one with students, but it helps keep them engaged and offer them more instant support, similar to being in a classroom. Teaching and learning in a pandemic has also taught me a greater appreciation for organization, and in a way, simplification as well. This is a great skill to have in a classroom one day as well, regardless of it being a pandemic or in a “normal” classroom.

[dong-hyucks]

Intellectual ; Hyuk [pt!one]

Characters: Hyuk (Sanghyuk) / Reader / ft. VIXX Genre: Fluff near the end, slight (extremely slight... like you have to squint to see it) angst, College AU A/N: mind you i dont know how college works bc guYs Im fOuRtEeN

Masterlist || 1 | 2 | 3 |

    You sighed, fatigue filling your body and mind. You had been sitting through classes all day and you were tired. Thankfully the day’s almost over, you thought with a huff. Can’t wait to finally go home and pass out. You tapped your pencil on the desk, earning the exhausted glares from your peers. Truthfully, you had never truly been liked at school; much less at college.

    [Y/N]’s really dumb, they’d say, don’t hang around them. Though their words hurt, you didn’t really have the guts, nor the voice to stand up for yourself. Ever since you were in your last year of grade school, everyone had teased you and called you names. Dumb was one of the many.

    “As you all know, there are only two months left of school,” your English professor, Mr. Yoon, said near the end of class. “Now before you graduate, I have a bit of a project for you, as may your other teachers.” Mr. Yoon made his way to the large, wooden desk at the front. “Throughout the year, you’ve explored and learned about the English language. Now, you will take that knowledge and use it.”

    A collective hum loomed over the room. Your peers whispered to their neighbours, each a curious conversation. “You will be writing a story,” Mr. Yoon continued. “It can be as long as you’d like, but it must be at least five chapters long.” You bit back a smile. You always had a love for writing. Your older brother, who had taken Mr. Yoon’s course before, told you about this final project (which helped you choose his class.)

    Of course, you had written stories before. They, however, were in Korean, since you moved to Korea from [country] when you were five. The challenge of writing a story in English excited you.

    “This project will be done in pairs, which I have chosen.”

     Your happiness soon drained. Partners? You didn’t have any acquaintances in this class; no one even liked to talk to you.  “Before you complain, I have partnered you up based on who I think you will work well with.” Mr. Yoon glanced at the class over his thick-rimmed glasses. “You cannot switch partners.”

    You felt your stomach sink as he began to call names. It felt like an eternity before he called yours.

    “[Y/F/N] and Han Sanghyuk.”

    At that moment, you made eye contact with Chaerin, Sanghyuk’s hardcore admirer. She had a frown on her face, which many of her friends caught. Soon, they were all glaring at you whilst simultaneously comforting Chaerin. You gulped thickly, looking down at your lap nervously. 

    You knew who Sanghyuk was, well actually. He had been your classmate since your third year in high school, when he had transferred from Daejeon. Back then, you had a major crush on him. He was sweet, funny, and kind to everyone. Or so you thought. You were foolish back then, liking someone for who they seemed to be; not getting to know them.

    It didn’t take long after he transferred for him to jump on the bandwagon. Then, he too teased you and called you names. To you, he was just like the rest of them. A cold-hearted bully who didn’t care about how you, or anyone else felt.

    From then, you deemed everyone around you as selfish. Rude. Conceited. The list goes on.

    “Class dismissed,” Mr. Yoon said finally. Quickly packing up your things, hastily shoving them into your bag, you rushed out of the classroom, but not before you overheard Sanghyuk talking to his friend.

    Running a hand through his dyed ash blond hair, Sanghyuk frowned. “I can’t believe I have to be partners with [Y/N],” he muttered, shaking his head as he piled up his notes haphazardly. “I’m probably going to have to do the whole project by myself.”

    His friend, Hongbin, slapped him on the back. “Cheer up, man. It might not be that bad.”

    Not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation, you rushed home with a furrowed brow. You greeted your mom with null enthusiasm before trudging up the stairs and into your room. Despite being a college student, you still lived with your mom. It was mainly because you were worried about her health; she always had a weak immune system and as she grew older it got worse. Since she was constantly bedridden, you had to pay for the house yourself, which is hard as a college student.

    Thankfully, at the moment your mom was well. She hadn’t been sick for a few weeks now, but she forbid you say anything ‘in case you jinx it.’ 

    You let out a groan, burying yourself in your blanket. You were not excited about the project anymore, not in the slightest. Rolling onto your back, you stared up at the ceiling in wonder. You could remember laying down with your mom when you were younger, pretending the small bumps and grooves in the pristine, white ceiling were stars.

    Memories like that brought you peace.

    Suddenly, a thought hit you. You shot out of bed and headed for your laptop. After opening it, you started a new e-mail.

    Dear Mr. Yoon...

    Minutes later, you had successfully composed an e-mail expressing why you could not work with Sanghyuk. You also asked to work alone, as that would be best for you mentally.

    “[Y/N]! Come down for dinner,” you heard your mom called. Sighing, you sent the letter and headed downstairs.

    The next day, you received a reply from Mr. Yoon. It didn’t say anything about the project. In fact, it didn’t say much at all. All the e-mail had said was ‘come to class a bit earlier.’ You didn’t question it much. Perhaps he wanted to talk about the project in depth and in person. Shrugging it off, you did as told and came earlier than usual.

    Mr. Yoon was sat at his desk, hunched over the mess of papers atop of it. Knocking on the door to signal your presence, you entered the class. You weren’t used to it being so empty. You were often the last to arrive and the first to leave.

    Looking up, Mr. Yoon forced a smile, circling something, most likely a mark, before turning to you completely. “You’ve voiced your concerns to me about the project, as you know.” 

    Nodding slowly, you stopped in front of his desk. “I just don’t think we’ll be able to work together.”

    A moment of silence passed before Mr. Yoon leaned forward. “[Y/N], your mother contacted me at the beginning of this class.” You blinked, processing the newfound information slowly. “She mentioned that you aren’t exactly a people person.” You mentally groaned.

    As if he read your mind, Mr. Yoon chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’m not a people person either, yet here I am, teaching dozens of people five times a week.” He gave you a gentle smile, “I understand that it may be difficult for you to work with others. Not everyone can, and that’s fine. But as your teacher, I want to help you with this. Working with others is a necessary component in a successful life, something you’re probably tired of hearing.”

    “Both you and Sanghyuk are at the same level in your education, essentially. You both have very different personalities, something I’ve observed in the past few months, but when it comes to class you are both hard workers.” Mr. Yoon began to frown. “I’ve recently been informed that people have been calling you unintelligent.”

    You winced, nodding. “Who told you that?”

    Mr. Yoon pursed his lips, “no one. Anyway, I think this is a great opportunity to prove everyone wrong. I’m your teacher, I know you’re very intelligent. What better way to prove them wrong by getting the best grade in the class?”

    Chuckling, you shook your head. “I don’t think I’ll get the best grade, honestly.”

    He rolled his eyes. “Please, you’ve constantly been in the top three this year.”

    Clearing his throat, he glanced at the clock. There was only a minute or two until students would start filling the large class. “Now, enough of this ‘I want to work alone’ nonsense. Listen to what I’ve told you and think about it, alright?”

    As if on cue, Sanghyuk and Hongbin entered the room. You noticed right away that Sanghyuk definitely wasn’t in a good mood. He wore a major frown and glared at you before heading to his usual spot. Biting your lip, you made your way to the back, where you usually sat. 

    You mentally screamed. You couldn’t believe that you actually had to work with him for two months. 

    Soon enough, class was dismissed. Before you could bolt out of the room, you were stopped by Hongbin, who had grabbed onto your arm. Your heart began to race, your introvert self coming out. Apparently, your panic showed as Hongbin quickly released you, keeping you close however.

    “Calm down,” he said, raising a brow. “Hyuk just wanted me to stop you. He wants to start today.” Hyuk? Chuckling at your confused expression, he clarified. “Sanghyuk.”

    “[Y/N].”

    You jumped, turning around to face the voice, only to be met with someone’s chest. You stepped back and looked up, making eye contact with Sanghyuk. Only then did you realize just how tall the man was. “Give me your number.” He had his phone held out.

    You blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

    Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “We’re partners for this project. We’re going to need to meet up at some point and we can’t do that if you’re so unwilling to communicate with me.” You flinched at his tone, along with his words. Muttering under your breath you took the phone, choosing to ignore his background, and added your number in his contacts. 

    You had to refrain yourself from snorting at the amount of girls he had in his contacts with the skull emoji next to their names.

    There was an uncomfortable silence as Sanghyuk typed something into his phone, both you and Hongbin watching him awkwardly. Your phone dinged. Taking it out, you scoffed at the message you received.

    “I’ve got to go,” you mumbled, adjusting your bag’s strap on your shoulder. “Just text me when you want to meet, I guess.” 

    With that, you were off. Seconds after you departed with the boys, your phone dinged once again. 

    (123) 456-7890 ; now     Today at 6. Text me your address

    You rolled your eyes at his straight-forwardness and kept on. “Hello,” your mom said from the kitchen once you got home. 

    “Hi,” you replied as you took off your sneakers. “Someone from school’s going to be over later for a project.” Reaching over to kiss your mom on the cheek, you headed up the stairs, sending your address to Sanghyuk as you did.

    It wasn’t long before Sanghyuk arrived at your house. Your mom had made a huge deal about it, evaluating the male once he took a step into your house. “He’s a looker,” your mom had said, much to your chagrin. You could’ve sworn, Sanghyuk blushed when she said that.

    Now, Sanghyuk sat in your room as the two of you brainstormed in silence. You had both agreed on a realistic plot line, though you had no idea what the plot line was. “What about a college student struggling to make ends meet?” Sanghyuk suggested after a while. “It’s realistic and definitely relatable.”

    You bit back a sarcastic laugh, “I can definitely relate,” you mumbled under your breath.

    “What?”

    Shaking your head, you sat back on your bed. “Nothing. Let’s do that.”

    Hours would pass, with you and Sanghyuk plotting out most of the story. By the time it was nine o’clock, all that was left to plot was the ending. Before you could even get to that, a knock sounded at your door. “Come in,” you called.

    Seconds later, your mom poked her head in. “[Y/N] dear, you haven’t eaten yet.” You nodded in confirmation, the feeling of hunger only just settling in your stomach. “Have you eaten yet, Sanghyuk?” she asked with a small smile.

    Sanghyuk straightened his back with a small shake of his head. “No, not yet Mrs. [L/N].” Your mom looked as if he had just offended her. She entered the room completely, hands on her hips.

    “Both of you need to eat to function properly, you know.” Despite her scolding words, her voice remained gentle, something you loved about her. “[Y/N], be a dear and come help me bring up some dinner for the two of you.” She paused. “Sanghyuk, are you allergic to anything?”

    When he shook his head no, she beamed. “Great!” she exclaimed with a clap. “[Y/N], come.”

    You put down your pencil on your desk, quickly escaping the room. You hadn’t even noticed that three hours had passed. Working with Sanghyuk was surprisingly easy. 

    While you prodded around the kitchen, your mom gave Sanghyuk an apologetic smile. “I would like to apologize on [Y/N]’s behalf.” Sanghyuk furrowed his brows. “They’re not exactly the most outspoken person, if you couldn’t tell. They’ve struggled quite a bit for as long as I can remember with speaking in front of others.” 

    Sanghyuk’s eyes widened when she began to bow her head, standing up immediately. “You don’t need to apologize,” he rushed, “working with [Y/N] has been great.” He reassured her. That’s a lie, he thought, it’s been awkward as hell.

    At his words, she looked as if she were about to cry tears of joy. “That’s good,” she sighed, “I’m always worried that [Y/N] will grow up to be alone. After their dad left, she couldn’t make any friends, sadly.”

    When she heard you call for her from the kitchen, she excused herself and left Sanghyuk alone. He frowned, thinking about what your mom had said. Before he could come to any conclusions, you re-entered the room, hands full with plates of food.

    Silently, he stood up and took the plates from your hands, placing them on the desk himself. You raised a brow at his sudden kind behaviour. “Did my mom tell you something?”

    Sanghyuk thought for a moment and he thought hard. “Can you tell me something?” he mumbled after a while. In response, you sat down and leaned back. “When I transferred all those years ago, everyone told me to stay away from you because of your intellectuality. How, or rather, why did that start?”

    The room went quiet. Sanghyuk kept his eyes glued to a grain of rice on the plate, unwilling to look you in the eye. After what seemed like forever, you opened your mouth to reply.

    “It started because the people around me are blinded by their selfish desires.”

[seouliloquy]

have I mentioned how much I hate money?

I talked to my boss at the sandwich shop, and asked if he could at least guarantee me 15 hours for when the semester starts. That’s 390,000 a month, which covers my bases (rent, utilities, internet, phone, transportation) with a little wiggle room. 

Now, this is THE least paying job I have. but it’s close to home/school (walking distance), comes with free food, and a healthy, stable working environment and a boss who actually gives a shit and doesn’t mistreat part-timers/particularly foreigners. It’s like a safe-haven for those of us who work there. So I want to do my best to keep this job. 

After some discussion, he said it would be possible as long as I’m able to take the Friday night and Saturday morning shifts. I was like “OK deal”

However. This sets me up for some other problems. See if you can follow lol

1. confliction with gym class job and tae kwon do lessons

If I schedule a class during registration during 5th or 6th period on any day of the week (so 2:00-3:15 or 3:30-4:45) I cannot continue teaching the gym class on Mondays because I have to be in Jamsil by 3:15, Which means I need to leave Anam around 2:15. Looking at my course prospects and needs, and 영강 options (cause of course i’m gonna take as many of those as I can cause although I enjoy the challenge and experience of taking my courses in Korean...if there’s an opportunity where I don’t have to, and thus avoiding setting myself up for barely passing but getting a chance at an actual good grade...then I would take it. So...because of this... I just might have to drop that job. which sucks because it’s SUPER FUN, and I love the kids. and after that i take the free tae kwon do lesson before i go home. Now, I spoke with the dojang owner, and i said that this is a likely possible case because monday and wednesday are less flexible in classes than say, Friday, which was the other day that I was originally going to also do the gym class, but since he just opened didn’t have enough students enrolled yet. So I told him, if it comes down to it, I would still like to teach the class, but maybe switch me to Friday if he can. I can still make the lesson in the evening on Monday, and still do the one after the class on Friday. I haven’t bought my uniform yet. BUT....if I agree to work at the sandwich shop in Anam until 9 on Fridays, I can’t do either of that. Can’t teach the class, can’t take the lesson. But this is 15,000 won per hour, for 2.5 hours PLUS free tae kwon do lessons, with a 1 hour commute...versus the 6,500 won per hour plus free food and nice working environment for 5 hours with no commute. 

So you can see my concern...

2. confliction with soccer coaching 

The same dojang owner owns the club where i’m coaching on thursday evenings, but in a different location, in southern Bundang area. It takes me about 1.5 hours to get there and back, and approximately 6,000won for the total commute. So in order for me to get there by 4:20 to help take the kids on the mini bus to their pickup spots and start the class by 5, i need to leave Anam by 3:00. So it’s the same situation where taking any class in period 5 or 6 (between 2 and 4:45) will render this job impossible. Since it’s cold out we’re only exercising indoors, and its really boring and limited, but once weather warms up I can actually really coach them with ball skills and teamwork. It’s a fun, legal and safe job too. The kids are growing to like me and i’m getting to like them too. As pain in the butts as they can be in terms of listening and paying attention, i actually enjoy it. It’s not the same as mindless sandwich making but also not entirely mentally draining either, being only for an hour. This is a 30,000 class. 

So between the two classes, I’m earning 270,000won per month, for 16 hours of total work. It’s a really REALLY good deal. I also spend about 40,000 per month on the transportation back and forth, and about 5 hours per week in commute time, but I can study, relax, catch up on news and announcements on Portal (KU announcements) and other stuff, and nap during those times so i dont mind the commute so much. 

Its the timing with my classes that i’m worried about...

and if my boss at the sandwich shop can guarantee 15 hours for me, that’s at least 4 free meals (plus whatever i decide to take home - although i really should be cutting down on the bread consumption lol) and 390,000 won, as I mentioned, for a 60 total hours worked. i can’t acquire any more hours than that, though. This is still nothing compared to the money i made working in the talking bar five days a week for 9k per hour almost every effing day until effing 4am...but still better.

So let’s see...

There are 168 hours in a week, and 744 hours per month (31 days) Hypothetically, if I managed 7 hours of sleep per day, that’s 217 hours per month spent sleeping. = 527 hours remain Plus with 6 classes at 3 credit hours each, that’s 18 hours per week spent in class, or  approximately 85 hours/month = 442 60 hours working at the sandwich shop = 382 16 hours at the two gyms respectively = 366 commute time 5 hours per week = 341 2 hours 5 days a week at the gym is 40 hours = 301 2 hours of soccer 2x per week with Elise = 285 approximately 3 hours per day spent on meals (93) = 192 approximately 2 hours total per day for other random things that take up time (62) = 130 Divide that by 31 days in a month, that’s 4.2 hours per day to do things like rest,  study, walk between classes, and chill.  Which on paper like this seems like a lot of time.

but when i look at it on a daily basis MOST of that free time is on Sunday.

And saturdays and sundays are the most likely times we’ll have soccer games!

It’s all a mess and I don’t know what to do. :( 

there are NO classes that I need that I can take at the times I need...and I don’t have any room for more “general studies” and I won’t be able to graduate at least one semester late. 

[ajp3mbgk-blog]

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[zipgrowth]

Meet the Support Network Addressing Out-Of-School Challenges for Every Student

ROXBURY, Mass. — Last year, a student in Yvonne Steadman’s Kindergarten class began missing a lot of days. Steadman, who teaches at Mendell Elementary School in this highly-diverse Boston neighborhood, passed along her concerns to a colleague, Madeline Gillespie, a family support coordinator.

Gillespie spoke with the girl’s mother and learned they were living in a shelter and had no way to get to school. It was less than a mile away, so the family wouldn’t ordinarily qualify for free transportation. But shelters are a special exception—students are eligible to ride on a school bus. Equipped with this information, Gillespie helped set up regular pickups and drop offs, and just like that, attendance improved.

Gillespie spends five days a week at Mendell helping the families of its 275 students negotiate complicated situations like this, but she doesn’t work for the school, or even the district. Gillespie is an employee of City Connects, a longstanding nonprofit organization that serves as a liaison between Boston Public Schools, families and, frequently, the community partners that offer much-needed assistance to low-income families that may need more support than what their schools traditionally provide.

City Connects has been around since 2001, but has even earlier roots in a two-year partnership between Boston Public Schools and researchers at Boston College from diverse disciplines, including psychology and special education. Mary Walsh, a researcher, and Pat DiNatale, a school principal, convened a group of other local principals who acknowledged the importance of providing supports to address challenges faced outside of school. These principals reported that relatively few students were receiving such supports and when they did, the supports were ad hoc, meaning there was no thoughtful integration. This working group laid the foundation for the student support City Connects now provides, which span three categories ranging in intensity from prevention to crisis intervention.

Total number of services delivered to students, by service category, 2016-17; Image Credit: City Connects

“Research demonstrates that about two-thirds of the achievement gap can be explained by the out-of-school challenges of students living in poverty,” explains Walsh, one of the original Boston College researchers and the current executive director of City Connects. “And it's absolutely the case that achievement is correlated with zip code, and the correlation is pretty high.” City Connects was developed to address those challenges and, according to Walsh, to enhance life chances for these students.

Nationally, City Connects serves about 85 schools in five states, including Massachusetts, and is funded through a mix of philanthropy, district dollars and government grants. According to the organization, half the students it serves identify as Hispanic; a quarter are black. In Boston, City Connects serves about 11,000 students a year in around 30 public and Catholic schools.

At Mendell, City Connects has had a continuous presence since 2013. The goal is to plug a gap identified during that first research project 20 years ago: providing an integrated and intentional support plan for every student, regardless of whether they show signs of distress.

“There are a lot of children that benefit who aren't particularly struggling in school, but really get opportunities to grow and develop,” Walsh says, adding that each student’s plan looks at a variety of factors, including academics, mental health, behavior, social-emotional learning, their physical health and home environment.

Around the country, a growing number of districts have been grappling with how to address poverty and other factors that impact students outside of school. Often referred to as wraparound supports or community schools, these emerging programs provide a mix of enrichment, early intervention and crisis management. Some match students and families with services in the community, while others embed services right in the building.

To that end, City Connects doesn’t just match people with services offered at a given school. There’s actually a sophisticated third-party network of nonprofits that partners with families and uses City Connects as a sort of liaison.

One of the most popular organizations, Cradles to Crayons, provides essentials like clothes, school supplies and books. In winter, the organization distributes entire outfits with layers and accessories to deal with the biting Boston weather. Another organization, Fresh Truck, is a sort of health food store on wheels, and provides vouchers for families to go shopping. A coordinator might arrange for a truck to be present at an event, but also serve on a wellness committee at school to boost awareness about nutrition.

Sometimes what a student really needs is a committed, local mentor—and City Connects works with groups, such as Strong Women, Strong Girls, operating off the basis of research that shows students engaged in formal mentoring programs see gains in academics, behavior and traits like resilience and empathy.

How It Works

Even though family support coordinators like Gillespie aren’t employees of the school—their salaries are paid by City Connects—they do everything possible to integrate their practice into a school’s community. Most days, Gillespie stands outside the school building as parents and kids file in for the day, greeting families and introducing herself. She serves on the school’s family engagement team as well as its positive behavior interventions and supports team. And she meets with groups of students during their usual lunch breaks.

The City Connects core practice; Image Credit: City Connects

If a teacher comes to her with a student who needs extra behavior support outside the classroom, Gillespie is ready to step in and schedule a series of one-on-one meetings with the student to discuss de-escalation techniques. It’s not traditional behavior therapy, she says—the school has a separate counselor on hand for that—but rather a limited intervention designed to help the student develop strategies for navigating stressful situations more independently.

“I think we are delineated pretty strictly,” Gillespie says about the way she works with her school counselor. As a licensed clinician, “she would be the person to communicate with a primary care physician, or in our school, her role is really with the Department of Children and Family Services.”

Naturally, a big part of the job is building relationships with families. Where some families quickly learn to ask for help from a coordinator, others are more reticent. Maybe, after months of conversation and familiarity, a parent might finally feel comfortable enough to approach Gillespie about a precarious housing situation on the verge of coming to an end or a charity or assistance program they’ve heard about, but don’t know how to apply to. In other cases, the school counselor will hear parents say they need a specific support outside of school, and pass their request on to her.

Teachers are also tremendously important sources of information for coordinators. They meet regularly and discuss students and families receiving active assistance. But teachers also facilitate new relationships between families and coordinators as well, based on their own observations.

Out of the 22 students in Steadman’s Kindergarten class, she estimates around ten of them consistently use supports arranged through City Connects—but last year it was only five. “It depends on the need of the families and what they feel comfortable sharing,” notes Steadman, adding that not all families feel comfortable asking for help. “And then you don't want to pry.”

Gillespie also works with her school’s principal—a lot. “We talk multiple times a day,” explains Julie Bott, Mendell’s principal. Some, of their conversations are specifically related to City Connects work, she says, while others are more general. “I see City Connects as the work of the school, I don't see them as separate entities.” Part of that dialogue is just simple check-ins about specific families and services. But on any given week there’s a battery of meetings about how well individual support services are working and how students doing. The idea is to make sure no one is falling through the cracks.

“Just this morning we met as a support team to talk about kids who might be in mental health crisis or have behavioral needs,” Bott says. “We talk explicitly about kids who are showing patterns of chronic absenteeism, and identify case managers to reach out to the teacher, to reach out to the family and discuss the intervention plan.”

Does It Help?

Bott is convinced of the program’s tangible impacts as well. School suspensions hovered around 40 kids per year when she first started at Mendell almost a decade ago. Now, numbers are negligible—one to two students per year. The overall attendance rate has risen since City Connects began its work. And teachers report having more support to meet the needs of diverse learners socially, emotionally and behaviorally.

More generally, research conducted by Walsh in 2014 showed that students in schools that used City Connects had higher report card grades than comparable peers. Additional research by Walsh reveals notable gains for English language learners and immigrant students, and overall lower rates of chronic absenteeism associated with the program. She has also linked exposure to the program in elementary school with higher standardized test scores in middle school, when compared with peers who have not been exposed to City Connects. In all, the conclusion seems to be that the longer a student stays in the program, the better they fare.

Walsh believes the extra assistance students receive through the program helps them build a kind of resilience, as well as a network of supportive relationships that help them cope when life gets tough. “We think it has a preventive effect that helps to explain the long term positive outcomes we see for students,” she explains.

According to Bott, programs like City Connects tackle root causes that are the very real lived experience of its community—trauma from poverty, mental health services, transportation issues—which in turn allow teachers to deliver their best education in the classroom. And that’s only possible when the supports are deeply woven into the very fabric of a school.

“Most people don't know that I don't technically work for Mendell,” Gillespie says of her role. “If you're doing it well, people think you're part of the school.”

At that, Bott looks to her colleague. “Because you are.”

Meet the Support Network Addressing Out-Of-School Challenges for Every Student published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness

[sallysklar]

Jersey Jazzman: Kids in Disadvantaged Schools Don't Need Tests to Tell Them They're Being Cheated

Jersey Jazzman: Kids in Disadvantaged Schools Don't Need Tests to Tell Them They're Being Cheated

There was a very raw, very discouraging story in The Trentonian this past week that is worth your time, whether you live in Jersey or not. Here's an excerpt:

Over the past year, this newspaper spoke with high school students educated in the Trenton Public Schools (TPS) district. The interviews took place in the presence of an adult and the teens were granted anonymity to speak freely and honestly. Each interview started with vague questions, such as “What is it like to live in Trenton?” While some students also spoke about nice and community-oriented neighbors, each of the conversations began with a discussion about violence. 

[...] 

“The school smells like weed,” a highschooler said. “They smoke in the hallways and stairwells almost everyday.” 

While some students said school guards “try to stop bad behavior” and convince kids to stay out of trouble, others described guards as “too young,” with “not enough care” for what happens. 

“This guy told the security guards what was going to happen to him, but they didn't care enough to do anything about it, so he got jumped,” a teen said. “They don't take their job seriously.” 

And as for teachers: “I feel like it depends on whether they know the student wants to change,” a teen said. 

Students said some teachers will remain persistent in trying to convince a kid to stay out of trouble. But if they realize their advice is not improving behaviors, “they just give up.” 

“I think that’s why a lot of people say teachers don't care either,” a student said. When asked to estimate the percentage who don’t seem to care about the students in their school, the majority of the teens said approximately 70-75 percent of teachers seem like they don't want to be there. 

One teen suggested the teachers have cause for not caring: “They have to teach in Trenton and dealing with kids’ attitudes is just overwhelming for them after a little while. It's not getting better, it's getting worse.” 

Teens estimated 60-70 percent of students seem to not take school seriously. One teen described negativity as their greatest challenge living in the capital city. 

“Negativity seems to be everywhere in Trenton; you can't run from it,” she said. With a toxic environment as described by teens interviewed for this report, it’s no wonder that the TPS district high school graduation rate for the class of 2017 was only 70 percent, according to state department of education data. That low figure is due in large part to Daylight/Twilight’s graduation rate of 34 percent. Both Trenton Central High School campuses graduated more than 80 percent of its 2017 class. 

The statewide graduation rate in 2017 was 90.5 percent. The graduation rates both statewide and in TPS have gradually increased over recent years.

Again, this is a tough piece of writing. But I thought it was well worth it, because the whole story raises some very uncomfortable questions as states head into their budgeting seasons:

A few days ago, a New Jersey appellate court threw out regulations that made the PARCC Algebra I and English Language Arts (ELA) Grade 10 tests a requirement for high school graduation. One of the most prevalent arguments for the PARCC -- which is based on the Common Core standards -- is that if we didn't have high standards and tough tests to match them, we are "lying" to students.

This argument is aimed particularly at schools like those in Trenton: "failing" schools, as reformers are so eager to call them. Apparently, many of us have deceived ourselves into thinking everything is fine in places like Trenton. Worse, students and parents, according former SecEd Arne Duncan, believed the lie. Only the hard, cold reality of testing could free us all from our delusions.

Now, I've been around a lot of testing skeptics, and I can assure you I've never once met one who was convinced that schooling in disadvantaged neighborhoods was generally acceptable. I've never met a union official who believed schools in impoverished cities didn't need improving. I never met anyone who works in a school or advocates for public education who was fine with the opportunity gap that plagues so many children in this country.

But I'll set that aside and instead make this point: stories like the Trentonian's give us clear evidence that kids who are in these schools themselves know full well what is going on. They are saying, with unmistakable clarity, that their instruction is unacceptably poor. They are telling us many of their peers have given up and have no interest in school.

What are multiple administrations of standardized tests going to tell us that these kids aren't already telling us themselves?

As I said last time: I am all for reasonable accountability testing. Test outcomes have been used by researchers and advocates to show indisputable truths, such as:

1) When it comes to school, money matters. A lot. 2) Children who come from disadvantage need more resources to equalize their educational opportunities.

Some make the argument that we have to have tough tests to motivate schools to improve. Most of these people don't know the first thing about how these tests are constructed or what they actually measure, but even if they did: What, exactly, do they want to do with the information they get from these tests? 

Do they really want to deny students, who went to their classes and played by the rules, their diplomas? What will that accomplish? Will it make the students and teachers "do more with less"? Will it improve the lives of students who don't pass these much more challenging PARCC and upcoming PARCC-like tests?

The idea of requiring students to pass tests with current passing rates of 46 percent strikes me as both cruel and capricious. Cruel because denying graduates a chance to participate in the workforce or join the military or pursue higher education is unnecessarily harsh when these students did exactly what they were told to do. Capricious because we changed the rules on these students quickly and with little forethought, and we didn't even stop to ask if their schools have what they need to help students pass these tests.

Now, if these same people who are demanding more and harder tests were also the same ones demanding full, adequate, and equitable funding for schools, I'd be more amenable to their arguments. Unfortunately, however, these folks -- like Duncan -- don't ever put school funding at the top of their lists of policy preferences.

I've heard a lot of crowing from certain quarters about how great it is that Trenton is getting a new high school in 2019. Certainly, the kids deserve it... but why did it take so long when high school kids in Trenton have been attending a school that is dirty and dangerous for years?

​

The infamous "Waterfall Staircase" at Trenton Central.

And what about all the K-8 schools in Trenton that are in need of repair and renovation? Where is any urgency to address this?

A couple of years ago I gave a presentation to the Trenton Education Association. Here's one of the slides:  

Why are plant costs so much higher in Trenton? Because it costs much more to maintain old buildings that weren't properly cared for over the years. TPS is playing a constant game of catch up. Why?  

Because the district has been underfunded millions less than what the state's own law says it needs.

Again: if the folks demanding harder tests were proposing that Trenton, and all other districts, got the funding they needed to at least generate average test outcomes, I'd at least say they were being honest about what it takes to close the opportunity gap. But no -- what we get from them instead is school "choice" and finger-pointing at unions and test-based teacher evaluation and a lot of other stuff that has never been shown to work and/or been brought up to scale... and in some cases actually drains more money away from the schools serving the most disadvantaged students.

This kids in Trenton are telling us the their education is not equivalent to the schooling kids in the Windsors and Princeton receive. We don't need more tests to tell us that -- the kids themselves are saying it.

The only question left is: what are we going to do about it?

elaine January 10, 2019

Source

Jersey Jazzman

Jersey Jazzman: Kids in Disadvantaged Schools Don't Need Tests to Tell Them They're Being Cheated published first on https://buyessayscheapservice.tumblr.com/

[moucchi]

yo.... i respect my ap eng teacher so much. it hasnt even been a semester yet and i owe so much to this woman i found it hard writin my letter bc lol... personal stuff and i based it on something i only ever keep inside my head and never took the time to vent about or examine i didnt even plan on SUBMITTING IT and she graded it and i surprisingly got a higher grade than expected

some points had to be taken off for lateness and when i read what she had to read i was so EMBARRASSED, i literally left _ <—- these blank spaces along the doc because i couldnt bring myself to label what i was feeling or what i suspected i could be going through

i thought ok you know what i mightve worked on it but a zero is fine. its completely fine she doesnt need to read that and i dont gotta worry abt anything

i was mainly afraid she was going to think i was some edgy kid who needed to get over herself or start takin pity on me or confront me for an explanation or criticize it or SOMETHING. something bad ask me to explain physics to u ill take the time but emotions.. homie i dont even understand my deal myself explaining what i feel to u as something concrete aint happenin

i actually got... some really good commentary. and me, being impatient and thinkin opening her comments while in class was a good idea, read what she said and almost started crying. n then i went back to read what i wrote and i really almost started crying man i was blinking out tears not sad emo ones but

she made it sound like she was proud of me??? and like. i would have expected anyone to be mad. two weeks later and i submit a document about how much of a mess i am with a bunch of unfilled blanks. but she already knew my motivation was awful, n now im hearing “look what you can do when you put your mind to something.”

she proofreads our work when she grades it— the one correction i did see on my doc was to add a period. she never asked what the blanks were, didnt even try to fill them. i could not be any more grateful.

ive mainly been raised off of threats and punishments to a degree, not to the point of ab*se but to the point where i would never disclose anything in that letter to my parents ever. if they saw it the blanks would get picked apart— questioned. id go another two months without drawing because i didnt finish a project, regardless of if it was because i didnt care or if parts of me just didnt seem to be cooperating, etc. n last year my eng honours teacher also kind of used fear and threats to try and spark motivation in me as well, which obviously didnt work. if you tell a kid the obvious; “if you dont hand this in your gpa will crumble.” i mean... ive said its not because i dont care...... and i know this already..... listen.....

the leap from getting told to expect the worst for my future because of something thats pretty tough for me to control in the first place to getting encouraged n getting help while also getting that firm “you need to get this done” feels so good. and im sure that without id be crying right now about low grades i should have been expecting.

i uh. just needed to get this out ig i really do wish the best for that woman the fact that teachers are never obligated to help u is so big. they might give extra credit opportunities and chase u down for missing assignments, which is more than their job probably even requires and is certainly deserving of appreciation— but teachers that care abt their students mental health and work ethic and improvement so much as to get involved? real ones.

i doubt im gonna get typing away every time i get assigned something new but like. i can try. positive feedback that ive improved and when i try i can get somewhere, the idea that trying is even worth it? that pushes me and hits me a lot more than the idea that not trying could cause everything to crumble. mainly bc u could try ur best, and work hard too, and stuff can still go majorly, majorly wrong, and then uve done all that for what?

but hearin u worked harder than u did back then, not only that, but it paid off AND u accomplished this? oh man. thats... thats nice.