#or do you want it gone entirely
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something something luigi doesn't remember the final events of spm or dimentio at all after he's defeated (but mario remembers everything)
#super mario bros#super paper mario#smb#spm#dreamyart#i have a lot of thoughts about luigi having amnesia afterward and mario knowing and remembering vividly exactly what happened#like he has vague memories of bleck's crew but just as he knew them as Luigi and not as he knew them as L y'know? plus they're still around#but dimentio is Gone gone and idk maybe his floro sprout sapped his memory of him entirely something like that#i also just think bc dimentio is a weird little interdimensional being he definitely still exists Somewhere#and just wants to torment luigi with visions lol#AND i just think weege has weird vivid dreams anyway thanks dream team can we take this guy to a sleep study#this all severely fucks mario up right like i saw you turn into the antichrist and what do you mean you have no idea what i'm talking about#i saw this little freak brainwash you and force me to fight you. and luigi's just like. Huh. What. No way that happened ur pullin my leg#i dunno i have many thoughts okay byee
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0c9e72420939252cf954a9b23ba6160d/9cfa9bb83ed1015d-c9/s540x810/546f34b4952363e0ab858ac4e7f94caefc8769cd.jpg)
his work motto prolly hhhhf (the "fuck amygdala, fuck azai" silently swings in his tone)
#saran; watching his baby project gone to shit after his death thanks to azai: fuck this and fuck that and fuck you specially#the true founder/boss decides on his own and he chooses mercy!! no more report punishments!!!!#amygdala stuff#also shows azai and saran many differences even if its just azais will being acted out through the ppl working for him right there#(the superior wanting vika to rewrite the entire report again and again and again)#azai who believes in strict punishments to get what he wants as fast as possible and make the ppl “below him” pay for their mistakes;#pay for not being what he wants (like saran had to pay with his life)#vs saran who believes in gentle discipline without pressure on the mind or body or putting himself in a higher position of power#his usual approach is to help vika without interfering or doing the work for him so he gets to learn and do things his own but#right there hes doing vikas punishment bc he doesnt see the purpose of it. it only leads to vika making more mistakes out of mental fatigue#the only purpose is to humiliate him and punish him for things he has little to no control over#in a bigger sense; saran wont allow azai to shape vika into something HE wants with punishments and force#wip#tbd#this turned into such a ramble oof
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DARK (2017-2020)
#darkedit#dark netflix#hanno tauber#noah dark#bartosz tiedemann#usererry#smallscreensource#filmtvcentral#televisiongifs#tvarchive#mine#mine: gifs#mine: dark#ch: hanno tauber#ch: bartosz tiedemann#tv: dark#i have a lot of thoughts about bartosz and noah and their dynamics with adam#like how they essentially end up in the same place#bartosz being jonas' best friend since childhood and witnessing his decline and losing faith in him completely#but still going along with it to a point#and then he has to watch his son be essentially brainwashed and there's nothing he can do about it#bartosz know what his son grows up to be and all he can do is watch it happen#noah meanwhile goes along with adam and trusts him implicitly especially after he (wrongly) believes claudia stole his baby#after her (correctly) guesses she's gone rogue#and eventually realises that he's just been a pawn this entire time and adam has done nothing but lie#and he learns that no only did adam arrange for his daughter to be taken but he had him kill his own father (among others)#separated him from elisabeth - all to uphold the cycle noah wanted to break and adam promised him he would break#and essentially ended up exactly where his father did#'we will become friends before you betray me' - basically applies to both noah and bartosz
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There is currently a rather large discussion ongoing about the RW fandom behavior, drama, etc. I am not going to talk about the specifics of whats happened for a number of reasons. But what I do want to say is that if at any point you've harassed people over it, whether that be through anon asks or public posts- you did nothing but damage the ability for people to correctly process what is happening. You contributed nothing but harm to an already delicate situation. It does not matter what "side" you were on and I will not tolerate further interaction with me or my work if I found out you did such. If you let your personal hate for anyone boil over into threats, wishes for long term harm and petty comments meant to contribute nothing but slander or mental distress for the individuals involved who were already distressed (or acting irrationally) you did nothing but make it harder for people to process their emotions, thoughts and behaviors constructively. Regardless of who you think was in the right, who fucked up, whatever. It doesn't matter if they deserved it, or earned it, or if its an eye for an eye. Its difficult enough as it is to think clearly when presented with any kind of stressful situation and heckling people does nothing but make it worse and harder for them to explain themself in any capacity. I don't want you anywhere near me if you think that is an acceptable way to act.
#Please do not ask for me details- I am not involved#I am not the person to ask.#I very intentionally stay out of wider fandom circles because i want to keep enjoying things i like (lol)#But i have seen some absolutely vile behavior both openly and on alts or anon#even from the 'anti harassment' side because of course they also just want a justified target#to hurt or slander but this time under the guise of 'well they did it first!'#Its a pathetic display on all sides in terms of behavior long before for you even try picking a part who fucked up and where#and its not surprising that many artists have felt uncomfortable with it long before it boiled over into this. It would have been a problem#even if there had never been an actual incident because people were simply behaving in uncomfortable and offputting ways in regards to how#they treated creators here. fandom has a problem in general with that but it was particularly public and open#Anyway Im not leaving the fandom or anything im comfortably on the fringes of it for a reason and dont intend on digging in any further.#But this issue has been cooking for months for frankly and with this its gotten even more openly hostile. And yes- even those#'anti harassment' types are very happy to harass when they have their own reason for it. so im not giving them an inch#But beyond that and this particular incident people have just been way too comfortable being cruel openly#and letting their personal dislike of things bleed into how they act.#Also one more thing: If an artist deletes or leaves and takes their art with them the bear minimum of respect is to honor that choice#save what you want when its there and keep it but if they want their work gone than god respect that dont set up entire archives#for shit people choose to wipe. If they delete it that should be honored no matter how you feel about it#t.extpost
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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taco and mephone have fascinating parallels more people could explore if taco haters weren't biased cowards
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#ii taco#ii mephone4#dare i maintag this. watever#like taco haters r obsessed with the idea that taco is ruining herself worse and dragging everyone down with her#when shes literally just doing the challenge mephone created and even changes her intentions on hosting the challenge partway through#bc shes REALIZING how badly everyones been affected by the show just as she was#and she uses the attention she now has and urges them to leave and escape because she doesnt want anyone to end up like her#she believes shes past saving Yes#but thats exactly why shes trying to help the others avoid getting to the extent shes gone#meanwhile even when getting his wrongdoings slapped in his face mephone doubles down bc thats all he knows#thats all he feels safe with. he cant let himself trust and be vulnerable and its ruining his life and all his relationships along with him#it says SO MUCH about both mephones and tacos arcs that MEPAD. the one whos been inseparable to mephone from the Start#is seeing more hope of improvement in TACO than mephone#taco the infamous villain to everyone since s1. since before mepad was ever conscious#if anything mephone is the one ruining himself in denial and hurting others in the process#and im not saying that to vilify mephone either !!!! before you 0 nuance bitches come in#if it wasnt obvious from my entire page i LOVE mephone and i LOVE where theyre taking his character. make that man Worse ❤️#but i feel like so many ppl are just projecting mephones arc onto taco bc they dont wanna admit mephone has Issues
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idk im just. thinking about dirk talking to arquius about dave pre-game over. and trying to talk to dave. and "TG: later bro TT: Wait, don't go-" and dirk staring at his, jakes and daves planets before he disappears into the glitches. yk.
yk.
#me.txt#homestuck#dirk strider#dave strider#godd#godddd#'later bro' and then there IS no later because he dies and everyone else you care about dies and (you think) its all your fault#youre this close to finally meeting someone youve wanted to see your entire life and then. and then hes gone!#and everyone else is gone!#and all you can do is just. disappear#fucking hate it here
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I like to believe she had to climb out of that cave herself
For @thecluelessdoctor and their Valentino Family (they bring me JOY)
#robbie valentino#gf au#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gf robbie#gf oc#gravity falls oc#not my oc#not the emotionally dysfunctional siblings bro 😭#i actually do not know what happened during the cave episode#but if this was a long term story?#then oh i absolutely HC that she had to climb out of that cave herself#hard truth my dear: the brother you knew and loved is dead#you won't be getting him back#but the new Robbie's still here#and I feel like she now has to grieve for a person that's still alive#until Robbie himself figures out who he wants to be#since the childhood him is gone#and the adult him does not yet exist#me when. me when siblings#she needs some buddies bro 😭#ngl the entire household is giving “Dollhouse” by Melanie Martinez vibes rn 🤨#what a fun dynamic It'd be HAHEHEEH /lh
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(Realizes that the most common transman experiences perfectly align with my life and feelings about myself and fascinations and who I want to be with) Ohhhh Okay i am fucked
#I do really wish i could just snap my fingers and pilot a cisman's body around#Rather than go through the crucible of visibly transitioning. it seems like a waste to do it when the times are so awful.#I honestly still doubt myself so much but#I can only do so many years of Why are you perceiving me as a woman#Before the shit starts getting real#People really just dont take you fucking seriously. Like even at this point where im at now i still dont know if im quote unquote valid#Because maybe its just a feminist issue and the misogyny is rampant#But an emotional sensitive defensive anxious reactive woman is what i am seen as. Somehow.#When I have gone lengths to ensure that even those close to me do not see a hint of my unchained emotional reality. Just really beats it in#I am entirely logical when I describe my experiences to my family. Clinical and detatched and intentional. And they think i am to be coddle#All the fucking time. Exhausting. I don't want that. I want to come to mutual understanding. Not to beg for emotional attention.#Thats the only thing that ever visibly cracks me. Being horribly misunderstood and taken out of context. Logical self defense being denied.#And being full of estrogen just reinforces that shit. Im a frustration crier. If I had testosterone maybe it wouldnt prove people right.#When you bite back as a woman you are just a bitch.#My fear is that I will be an emotional transgender man that wants to be coddled. I am afraid it will be worse to be that.#I really do just want to be able to live and work and be taken seriously when I say what I mean and what my mind is like.#I want a chance at life. I feel like I'm seen as a hapless girl. Damaged and begging to be freed of all responsibility#No bitch I want to move out and actively build a life for myself and RAISE MYSELF! after years of being misunderstood and alone#And also i want to do homosexual war reenactments with another man or something i dont know i just wish it could be me#Maybe ill just donate blood and faint again#Anyway. Joker. Society. I am the joker#Who wanna reply and tell me if im a valid transman or not. I get chest dysphoria when i have proper posture.#I get ass and hip dysphoria.#Low key having a bangin body as a woman though confuses me still bc maybe i just like being hot more than i gaf about transitioning#It reeeeeally helps that my face has an impeccable T zone. Its kind of masc as hell.
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some more ideas for the totk rewritten project (botw2);
underground general ideas i thought about what to theme the underground after, and since its vaguely like underwater in canon i thought id push it much much further, you cant actually dive and while id love that i do want to stay within a certain possible range of it still being a sequel to botw and somewhat based on totk- so im putting the low gravity effect away from the sky and instead in the underground, the ENTIRE underground, that way it is distinctly different in the way you have to play since you gotta work around the low gravity effect, the entire plant life and enemies will also be based on deep sea creatures- anglerfish like ones that half burrow and lure you with their light, those fish (or are they worms?) that hide underground as soon as you step too close, maybe they hide initially but only to make you go closer and try and snatch at you
much more glowy things too, basically everythings got some sort of light on it, there are different creatures flying around that all feature some sort of glow, so there is stuff to see but you cant immediately know what it is, theres a unique kind of plant that when you bother it spews out a dark cloud of spores (kinda like in tp) that dims any light you had; there are some landmarks you can activate or repair with the help of zelda but there is no way to illuminate the entire map and the lil light ferns expire slowly too
i also want it to be way more wet, not full with water but maybe a thin layer of water at most places and some drops from stalactites that fall constantly
there are shadowy ghosts there as well but they CAN aggro (still working on it), either by taking a weapon from their grave or some other things; also considered them or some other enemy that stalks you for some time and the only clue you get is maybe double sound of your steps or something at the very edge of your screen but you can never catch it when looking around (i dont want to make it a horror game but do want the underground to stay as creepy as when you first get down there), something elusive and shadow based that is rarely encountered but stays creepy for longer than the miasma hands sicne it cant get stuck on anything and the only way to be safe is while in the air
maybe some miasma reanimated corpses of ancient shiekah killed when the ancient hyrulean king turned on them (only foudn in the underground in this way; there are others but unposessed in alot of the broken shrines and old laboratories so seeing one suddendly move and crawl after you is probably pretty scary, kinda like the vroken guardians sometimes being still functional)
the dongos are the main friendly animal you can discover there and tame (still working out more details) they can climb around, always emit a little bit of light and the shadow enemy wont latch onto you as long as you are near a dongo, maybe even most enemies will leave you alone if you are riding one, as they are slower than horses, with the exception of gigamas (or a similar enemy ill redesign for that) as they are the natural predator of dongos; when you get to close to one it will react to it and if a fight is initiated it burrows away (you can call it and it comes back to you if you are out of range of that enemy)
tameable animals since i played skyward sword recently i just realized again how much fun it is to fly on a bird, sicne im already dividing the three map layers a bit more i thought it would be cool to make these layers more distinct, in some part by the tameable animals- the sky has birds (based on dinosaurs), the surface has horses, the underground dongos- neither of them can follow you to one they dont belong and the way to call them switches as you switch layers
im not sure yet if those birds should be ridable or are only able to give you a small boost upwards when you call them
magic bar so instead of actual batteries i planned to, as i said before, to put that into links shiekah arm prosthetic, and instead of giving you literal battery symbols on the screen it would be a bar right below your health and next to the symbol of the current selected arm ability
krog seeds a bit more to the krogs- as i said before they are no longer the way to make your pockets bigger- among an armor set i also thought about making the most expensive reward OR the end reward for finding all of them be the eponator zero- maybe it went missing during the cataclysm and maronus (engl. hestu) finds it at some point, so you get your bike back but its locked behind something bigger so you are unlikely to exploit it early on
(EDIT) (forgot to mention the dragons- im putting them each in one layer of the map- eldra in the underground bc gan is there and youknow, demise coming from the ground and fire being associated with the ground etc, farodra on the surface GREEN etc, and naydra in the sky, bc wisdom and owls and gods and all that weeeeee)
(on a sidenote im also thinking about ditching the building mechanic to some extent since i dont think it fits very well as a whole and it makes it too easy to completely skip stuff- i want the main way to move things or to get around be the hookshot/grappling hook part of links arm; still working on all that though .. so far it does seem likely like it will be much more limited)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rewrites totk#also since alot of the shrines are now more like bigger caves and less in number i thought about making a broken tower into a mini boss#like a mass of miasma spilling from a hole in the ground like the big one in the gerudo area that wields the tower as a weapon#some of the bigger regional changes i wanted to mix it up alot more without redoing the entire map#so gerudo dessert might be flooded#the zora are dealing with all the water in the region having gone through a crack in the earth leading their area to dry up#rito area isnt just snowed in but in an actual blizzard that coated everything in a thick layer of ice#YES ICE PHYSICS WOOHOO#and made them flee maybe into vah medoh whos unfunctional and resting somewhere else#maybe isntead of floating hyrule castle is sunk into the ground .. tho im not so sure on that yet#.... listen theres so much stuff you could do with world to have it have actual changes#what if satoris mountain was half broken and sunk into the ground but the mountain is still there at night like a spiritual footprint#you know#make it actually feel like a big order destroying event has happened!!!
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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.
I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?
i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...
#snap chats#thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA#ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth#obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril#charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses#he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids#of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not#charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good#even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars#so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue#we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students#he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless#im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu#obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially#tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute#i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc#if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart#'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool#i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask#so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA#idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ
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Went to the doctor just for a check up and he basically just told me "your body just processes sugar very well! :) :) :) It's a good thing! :) :) :) It can't possibly be the source of your symptoms even though eating fixes it :) :) :)" But there was also a moment when talking about my iron deficiency that is possibly one of the funniest things a doctor has ever said to me, up with the cardiologist who said "you're a medical mystery": He was going over my blood test results, and said "Your iron levels haven't gone up at all, they are still extremely low, but you're not anemic anymore" And I was like how am I not anemic anymore??? And he said "Your hemoglobin levels have gone up...somehow..." while frowning at the blood test results on his computer. It was very "somehow, palpatine has returned" lol
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#food mention#he did at one point say the iron issue is probably an absorption issue#which. give this is either my third or my sixth absorption issue (depending on if you count electrolytes)#I'm not exactly surprised but I'm also not thrilled#at some point it stops being 'your body is very good at processing' and starts being#'your body just yeets all nutrients out of it!'#I am on two different medications to make me retain salt more#like. one that is 100% the entire reason I take that med#one that that's a side effect of that med strong enough they thought I shouldn't take both together#until they did bloodwork to check (and found it was appropriate to take both)#and I STILL need a RIDICULOUS amount of salt#and sometimes! even with two different meds and like four different kinds of salt pills! I straight up do not retain salt!#I get super dehydrated and cannot fix it for days!#and I am more tired of it than I perhaps realized#just real tired of doctors going 'your body is just so efficient at processing :) :) :)'#I am already doing all the low blood sugar things. smaller more frequent meals lots of protein lots of complex carbs#not looking for advice just wanted to share the 'somehow...your hemoglobin has gone up'#because I do genuinely find that really funny
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BNHA Ch. 429
So, I guess Toga is dead, and people are losing it.
I get why people liked her--she was actually queer, being pan/bisexual. She was representation for them and that's rare in shonen manga. But here's the thing--she was bad representation at best and insulting at worst. Nor do I think she was made queer because Hori really wanted to represent a queer girl. Himiko was always the author's poorly hidden fetish--she just was. She liked girls as much as boys because Hori wanted to draw a girl touching sexually on another girl. You can see this in how he draws her and Ochako in solo pics together.
I mean, people seem to understand this when it comes to Momo and her outfit being overly sexual or that both Himiko and Hagakure's Quirks either leave them naked or they have to be naked to use them. These are excuses to draw girls in a sexual manner. Himiko being into other girls is the same thing and that's the kindest interpretation.
Given how Himiko acts and her Quirk being heavily coded sexual desire, and therefore her use of it against someone unwilling being sexual assault, it could just being playing into harmful stereotypes of predatory gays.
As a queer person myself I just found Toga insulting. She was designed to be overly sexual and give the male author a female character that he could draw being suggestive with his other female characters. When he did flesh out her character, her backstory was eventually the trope/fear of straight people, that gay people will be so overcome with their lust that they end up sexually assaulting them.
In the end Ochako accepts this part of Toga and says she'll giver her blood forever, but as much as a lot of readers took that that as some deep lesbian confession, for me it really fell flat. Hori never really gave any of the main kids time to actually learn about their villain or show how that changed their minds toward them. Shoto only works because Touya is his brother (even though he admits he barely remembers him). But Ochako goes from not thinking of Toga at all pre-first war, to one thought about her during her speech, to suddenly caring about her so much she--given how Toga's quirk is coded, is willing to essentially fulfill Toga's kink for the rest of their lives.
It's weird and it comes out of nowhere. It's made even stranger because Toga doesn't actually change or show remorse for anything she did, which included personally hunting and murdering people before she joined the LOV. None of the death and destruction she is also partially responsible for is brought up either, something that Ochako was rightfully upset about during the first war when less people and property had been destroyed. Ochako just accepts everything about her suddenly and her past serious crimes are forgotten so they can cuddle and cry.
Am I shocked Toga died--a little. I didn't think Hori would have the guts to kill off a young girl character, especially one that he clearly got a lot of joy drawing in sexy poses. But at the same time, once he killed off Shigaraki and ended Touya's story with his slow death, I'm not surprised he went the same route with Toga.
This isn't Naruto--Hori isn't really kind to characters that do something wrong, especially if they don't try and change. Enji, Bakugo, Hawks, and Aoyama all sort of got punished for what they did. Enji is the worst off, being permanently crippled, missing an arm and burned everywhere. Bakugo's hand is damaged, his heart weaker, plus he feels bad that Izuku lost his Quirk so they can't compete the same way he wanted them to. Aoyama, despite doing way less wrong and even helping his class during the forest raid, still leaves school because he doesn't feel he earned being there yet. Hawks lost his Quirk and even though him running the HPSC could be seen as good for him, Hawks always wanted a break, but now he has one of the most time consuming and stressful jobs out there.
So, if this is what characters who actively did good things and even changed and fought to be better get, what would characters who never changed and never did anything positive for anyone but their friends/themselves get?
Before the last Arc started, when so many people said the LoV were 100% going to be redeemed I had doubts and always thought it wouldn't make sense with how the story presented redemption or treated other non-LoV villains in the past. That if the main LoV did get some happy ending where they were bffs with the main cast it would clash with how other characters had been treated.
That doesn't mean that I think how Shigaraki, Toga, and Touya ended up in the manga was well done. I think their endings fit far better then a last minute redemption would have, but at the same time you can feel how rushed everything has been since the end of the first war arc. Hori was done with this story months if not years ago, yet he was contractually obligated to finish it. Because of that I think he left out as much as possible. As much as I think he's written some pretty obsessive stuff, particularly towards women, I can't really fully blame him cutting corners or the story being shit at the end.
We know Manga authors, particularly those that work with Jump are treated like shit. That they suffer incredibly long hours at times not even getting to go home for days. We've gotten messages for Hori saying he's sick quite a few times. On top of that, weekly story telling is not a great way to tell a cohesive narrative. Ideas probably change week to week or at least month to month and you can't go back and change the last chapter no matter how much you need or want to. Then you remember he also gave a lot of ideas to the people who made the movies, which would also change his plans for how he wanted the main story to go.
The story is bad--it has been for a while, but I think a lot of people put their hopes on their favorite characters getting a happy ending, even when there were signs that probably wasn't going to be the case. I know how much it sucks when a character you love gets a shitty ending (Stain was my fav, but he got an absolute dogshit ending) but at least, knowing what I know about the industry I can't really blame Hori the way I see some other people doing. Criticize it, sure, but saying Hori hates his readers or is horrible writer isn't true. BNHA was popular for a reason--he's great with characters and the beginning of the story had some great pacing. We'll never know, but I wouldn't be surprised if BNHA could have been amazing if Hori had been treated better and the story hadn't needed a chapter every week.
If anything BNHA has taught me how much a story suffers when authors/artists are treated like crap and forced to work past burnout.
#bnha 429#bnha spoilers#bnha critical#bnha#idk i just feel bad for the guy#i think he's sexist as shit#but no one deserves to work under such bad conditions#and frankly idk how any weekly story turns out any good#especially when its gone on for so many years#like when you think about it the chapters aren't even real full chapters#they're like half or even a quarter of a chapter that you'd find in a book or monthly manga#of course you're your going to have an incoherent story when you write like that#I mean the only other thing written like that are some fanfictions#and those authors can and often do go back and edit things#heck I've seen some that go on hiatus with the specific purpose of overhauling the entire backlog of chapters to make it a better overall#and I think part of why BNHA is perhaps worse then other weekly shonen is because he had a lot he wanted to say#on top of trying to find things that kept him invested in a story he clearly was tired of writing#I mean Lady Nagnat is great example#he watched a movie and thought the female assassin character was cool and it got him excited to draw/write#so he shoehorned in this character that was really only there because she made the story more fun for him to write and draw for a while#like American comics aren't great either when it comes to consistency or coherent plots sometimes#but I do wonder if BNHA might have been better if Hori could have left a story bible and basic outlines of what his plans were#and then someone else could have worked on it instead#because he really didn't seem very into by the end of the first war arc#like I think he wished that had been the end#but it wasn't and he was really tired and burned out#and probably already working on fumes
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... It really has not been my month...
#vent tag#oc: bean#sona tag#I mean it is an old chair and it was bound to happen but still#idk if I can fix it bc the screw that was holding the armrest up completely snapped in half and I doubt hot glue can hold that#I will probably try to prop it up until I can fix it or get a new chair entirely#but between that and the kettle breaking and my eye infection and for some reason my period suddenly kicking me in the balls#after being gone for like 6 months - like I didn't miss you but girl where did you go??? can you leave again?#but that's probably the main reason for my awful mood and lack of any motivation to do anything - along with everything else#which sucks bc I was so hype for af and then I just started rotting for a month and I wanted to give up#I feel like a little better today besides the chair thing but I'm still mostly like not great#but like anyway
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I get a little indignant when i look up the lyrics for a song that has very straightforward and understandable meaning to anyone who has experienced a modicum of emotional pain in their life and there are websites like "Song Lyrics Explained" like ohhh some people have never had their heart broken I see.
#my stuff#if you look me in the eyes and say you don't 'get' Sleep Token's Apparition or Take Me Back To Eden in general...#like what even is there to say. they're about waking up from bittersweet dreams abt ppl you can't see anymore for reasons you didn't choose#and longing to return to experiences that cannot be recreated if the people you love don't make the effort to hold onto it like you do.#i am quite literally sick with longing and grief these past couple days and these are the only songs keeping me halfway sane#this all could have gone so very different. i know where you are. i know how to reach you. but i can't. you asked me not to.#so i have to cope with the knowledge that you're a short walk away almost every day and yet I'll probably never see you again#and it's not because i did anything wrong you're just the sort of person who can't be friends with someone after a romance#and your goodbye was absolute shit and i hate it and i want some fucking shred of acknowledgement that i deserve better!!!!#i want to know you aren't just trying to forget me entirely!! I want to be remembered!! I am remembering you!!
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