#or did we do that twice already
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Wakes up in a cold sweat
Axiom Verge 1 is a subversion of the classic masculine power fantasy, while Axiom Verge 2 subverts the classic feminine one.
Hear me out. First let's define both really simply. The masculine power fantasy is essentially one of becoming one's own self, and exerting their power upon the world in their name. The feminine power fantasy is one of union, nurturing and caring for another. We can further simplify these ideals into two lines. The masculine power fantasy is to kill the father. The feminine is to save the daughter.
That's the most barebones description but it's just to get us off on the right foot. Essay below the cut going into detail
In AV1 we follow Trace. All along we're set up with a simple idea, Trace must survive, grow to master his environment and his abilities, and go on to slay his foes. The Rusalki.
Wait what?
Yes, the Rusalki are a controlling force on Trace. For him to fight his way into the masculine power fantasy he must use his power to buck the control of another and choose for himself what is right. But that's not what happens. In fact, he works with them. Why?
Athetos is the final position, the ultimate masculine form of Trace. He makes clones of himself and each fail to become. They're stripped of name and identity and these "lesser selves" are now subservient only to Athetos. The Father. The Master. If Trace wishes to become a man, he must prove himself unconquerable and stand evenly with Athetos.
That's the nightmare segment. We see Trace literally chasing after an ideal self he can't keep up with. We see him become one of the failed clone monsters and experience being a puppet, it's the masculine nightmare. He is a failure, he will be subsumed, he must become his perceived ideal self.
But it's all a trap. Trace doesn't just man up and beat the toxin that's mutating him. He has help from Ophelia. See, there's been a secret this entire time in the background, have you caught it?
When Trace finds his mutated other selves, he tries to reason and they will not listen. They're caught up in the masculine narrative and there are only two ways out of it. Destroy Athetos, or change the script.
Trace, who has been nurturing and healing the Rusalki despite their power over him. Trace who has to use his understanding, and for whom a boss fight isn't glorious single combat. Trace who bears the ultimate yonic symbol in the Axiom Disruptor. Guns are generally phallic symbols but this one's design but this one disrupts (heh) the narrative symbology to a different one.
Empathy, sacrifice, and grace are often hallmarks of the feminine power fantasy. There is much to be said about whether these are healthy themes but for now, in present moment, that's often what they are. It is in showing empathy to his failed clones that he finds purpose beyond meager violence to face Athetos. It's through empathy that he connects with Elsenova and the other Rusalki who then grant him the power of making connections to defeat his foe. He sacrifices his own pride and it allows him to see the world for what it truly is rather than a playground to be remade in his image. The address disruptor may seem a tool to do just that at first, but in actuality it cannot change what has not already been changed. Most of all, he sacrifices his ultimate masculine form in Athetos, refusing to become powerful to become understanding. His method is not to subjugate his potential lesser selves and become the standout example but simply to be, in the world he is in.
Indra is taken by the hand along the path of the feminine. She comes to rescue her daughter and must work under the mercy of the Arms. A class of people who have power, and power over her as a kind of patriarchy. Indra! A world-class CEO is now a victim of a system and a culture that simply doesn't value her for what she is.
And just like Trace, the further she goes along this path the more misled she is. She is expected to sacrifice everything, even her life for her daughter. She must care for Damu and balance catering to the desires of the figuratively-masculine Amashilama.
Trace suffered being the victim of toxic masculinity. Becoming isolated and dejected and discarded. Indra becomes the victim of toxic femininity, sacrificing until there is nothing left to give. She is used for her body and her mind is a discarded, useless thing. But it is from that mind that Indra flips her own script.
She remakes her body in her image, as she likes. Have you noticed the hacking tool that makes her the master of her demesne? The phallic symbol of the ice pick? Each tool she has leads her closer to her destiny and the more she makes a name for herself the more empowered she becomes, to the point she makes her own name for herself in the world. Everything Indra is given puts her in the position of that brave and empowered masculine, even and especially, the ending.
Should I talk about how Indra's body is used so that Amalshilama can get at her real goal? The next generation of Arms. How she is literally used to produce and bequeath the next age to the patriarchal Arms? At how Indra's past self takes on the feminine role of sacrifice and fulfills the idea of motherhood by reuniting with her daughter, and how that leaves our mechanical Indra free to pursue her name? (Presumably Ophelia?)
Indra's pursuit saves her life, in a sense, and she becomes greater than the simple story she was placed into. As Trace did. As they both did and in so doing did not become victims of masculinity and femininity. In fact, all throughout their games they win by pushing past the constraints humanity would place on them.
And just. AUGH. The symbolism! The way Trace carries larva on his back being "injected into". The way Indra is given actual soldier's weaponry. The way Sudra is still until the Disruptor is picked up, almost a symbol of beginning life. The way Indra seeks a way to allow Damu to build a body and follow in her example. To literally make himself.
Axiom Verge is so good actually.
#axiom verge#axiom verge 2#trace eschenbrenner#trace av#indra chaudhari#indra av#essay#gurl i could write a thesis about these games now#where's the third where we create the divine hermaphrodite#or did we do that twice already#ophelia#the music is cool in these games go check that out if you haven't#but if you haven't then why are you here#basically axiom verge is a subversion of common storytelling and is all the better for it
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We started agility class today!! She seemed to have a good time and was a very good baby dog for me in a new and weird setting.
#dogblr#petblr#dog#sighthound#borzoi#borzoi puppy#vex#I maintain the best socialization#process for most dogs#is building trust and teamwork#so they know they can rely on you in weird situations#not just exposing them to everything you can think of#anywayyyy#she was such a good girl#joined up with a class past foundation already doing obstacles and sequences#and we really just have basic foundation skills#but she did everything asked of her with no issues#loved climbing#did the tunnel twice the length we’ve done it at home#thought weaves were silly#didn’t bat an eyelash at all the other new dogs#love her#super engaged and focused the whole time#v willing to chill during downtime also
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking “I want merch”#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a “quantity over quality” thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of “garbage” (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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ohhhh noooo i have to reread the recent osas chapter so i can make an accurate drawing noooo how horrible
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Is it true that Elizabeth of York birth celebrated like she was a son? I have seen some historians say this.
Hi! Yes, Edward IV did celebrate his daughter’s birth as though she was a male heir (“a prince”), iirc as per the Great Chronicle.
While we have no contemporary reports at the time of Elizabeth of York's birth, we know that Luchino Dallaghiexia reported that the birth of Edward and Elizabeth's third child, Cecily of York, "rejoiced the king and all the nobles exceedingly*, though they would have preferred a son'. Wanting a son (ie: an heir) was typical for their time period, likely enhanced by Edward and Elizabeth's unprecedentedly controversial marriage, her very unsuitable origins and his own status as a usurper. The fact that he was described as being "exceedingly" delighted at the birth of his third daughter in a row regardless does support the claim that he would have gone over-the-top to celebrate the birth of his first legitimate** child.
Hope this helps!
*Bizarrely, I have seen several historians and blogs using Dallaghiexia's letter to claim that he was bitterly disappointed at Cecily of York's birth. I don't understand how historical reading comprehension can be so poor that "rejoiced the king exceedingly" has somehow been rewritten as the...exact opposite of that. With no self-awareness whatsoever. **His illegitimate daughter Margaret (known as Elizabeth for some reason) was almost definitely born before his marriage. We don't know the birth dates of his other two illegitimate children: I think the likeliest conception date for Arthur was in early 1470, but it's unverified; and we know nothing about Grace (which was in fact her surname, not her name) other than the fact that Elizabeth Woodville seems to have been very attached to her.
#ask#elizabeth of york#edward iv#queue#speaking of which#did I mention how much I dislike historians who state that one of Elizabeth Woodville's 'advantages' was that 'she was fertile'#and just leave it at that?#or dumbfuck Anne Boleyn stans who argue Elizabeth was 'safe' because she had a son (she was literally deposed twice but okay)#That is simply incorrect and a complete erasure of her actual - presumably difficult - experiences#Elizabeth literally 'failed' (so to speak) to have a son throughout her first queenship#She had three daughters back-to-back#Her first son with Edward IV was in fact born seven years into her marriage after her husband had already been deposed and in exile#It does her an incredibly disservice to rewrite her very complicated situation according to your own whims and fancies#Particularly considering the very unusual nature of her marriage and rise to queen (+Edward's own status as an usurper)#which meant that Elizabeth - like H8's wives after her - was in a far more precarious position than sonless foreign royal queens before her#And while the lack of a son clearly didn't affect her personal marriage (her husband celebrated their eldest daughter's birth#as though she was a male heir and was described as exceedingly happy at the time of their third daughter's birth;#they decided to go on a pilgrimage - presumably to ask for a son - *together*; etc)#That doesn't change the fact that they were in a very very difficult situation that having a son could have resolved/legitimized#Worries that may have intensified even more after 1469 when George of Clarence (second York brother) rebelled against Edward#I also suspect their lack of a son affected the nature of Warwick's propaganda against them during his rebellions#but that's a whole other topic of discussion#Either way: What we should never do is erase and rewrite Elizabeth's (and Edward's) very complex situation in the 1460s#in favor of an inaccurate but more 'convenient' alternate history#It's a little odd tbh because I HAVE seen such discussions for Anne of Bohemia; MoA; and Henry VIII's wives#who all struggled to have male heirs#But for some reason Elizabeth's situation is not even acknowledged - let alone discussed#funny how that happens#anyway#ik I went VERY off track I'm sorry about that
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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Ride 741: Danchiku's “shout”
Pag 1
1: In their eyes,an unshakable will....!!
Pag 2
3: Ahhhh
4: Danchiku is exhaling!! For so long!!
3.... 4....
5: 5 seconds!!
Ahh
6: No, he's exhaling even more!!
8... 9.... 10 seconds!!
Ahhhhh
Pag 3
1: 11 seconds.... 12 seconds!!
3: He's emptying his lungs using all his muscles around them!!
5: This is bad!!
Pag 4
1: It's coming!!
2: “Panda shout”
“It's a breathing technique”
“I become twice as fast”
The onw who reaches the sensor line first wins this race!!
If I don't get ahead now
3: He'll catch up!!
4: Ahhh
Pag 5
5: Filled up of “fresh”!!
6: Panda....
Pag 6
1: Shout!!
Hiigaruaaagh!!
Pag 7
1: Hiigaruaaagh!!
Pag 8
1: He caught up to me!!
2: Twice as fast!!
3: Kuaaaaagh
Pag 9
1: We entered the last curve!!
And Danchiku is still accelerating!!
2: This is Danchiku at “100%”!!
Pag 10
1: Cough cough
This is so hard!!
2: 300km left until the sensor line!!
3: Catch up, catch up, catch up
Catch up!!
Pag 11
1: Sugimoto Terufumi!!
2: Kuaaaaaa
200m left!!
Pag 12
1: Cough
Cough
2: We're all both human beings
We all have limbs, and a head
Danchiku, and Onoda, and Naruko too
3: We're all human beings!!
4: Our bikes aren't all that different
My Colnago is ligh and fast!!
5: So, I'll catch up
I'll catch up!!
6: I should catch up!!
Pag 13
1: I watched it, their running
3: I watched them from the sidelines
For three years!!
4: Onoda!!
Onoda-kun!!
Sakamichi!
Pedaaal!!
5: Doesn't matter how hard it was for them
Pag 14
1: They never gave up!!
3: Calm down, heart
Calm down, breath
4: Panda shout? Bamboo Hop Shot?
5: You're working hard,didn't you, Danchiku?
That's nice
6: Then I'll indulge you and let you practice with me!!
Kuaaaaaa
Pag 15
2: They left Onoda and the others behind.. so the race is on this lap!!
Nii-chan!! On!!
They're coming!!
3: Danchiku and Sugimoto
4: 100m left!! This will settle it!!
They both started the final sprint!!
Danchiku is ahead!! And he's smiling!!
Pag 16
1: Sorry, Sugimoto-san
As expected, you ran and practiced in Sohoku with no breaks for three years
2: But
It's over now!!
3: I'm sorry, but give up please!!
4: Sugimoto!!
5: Nii-chan!!
Pag 19
2: Kuaaaaaagh
4: Ju... just now....
Pag 20
1: They arrived at the same time.... on
2: At the end.... Sugimoto stretched ahead with a long sprint...
Who knew he could do something like that!!
3: Nii-chan really is amazing, on!!
4: But
A tie at this moment means that-
On
5: This race
Pag 21
1: Hasn't ended yet!!
It's a suddent death match until they settle this!!
2: A long.... sprint...
You still had.... something like that....
4: Good job.... my Colnago-chan, good job
5: No... now....!!
Should we go another lap, Danchiku?!
6: This guy.... he doesn't give up!!
#yowamushi pedal translations#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 741#sugimoto is so cool?????#i did not expect it tbh lmao#this chapter is prettu surprising??? makes it so difficult to guess whats going to happen#i was talking with my sister earlier and we got to the conclusion that its possible that neither of them will go to the ih in the end#and both rokudai and kinaka will#because - lbr sugimoto is too weak to compete in the ih like IM SORRY AND I HATE TO SAY IT BUT ITS TRUE!!#and he's still treated as weak or anyway not so strong you know? and yes i do know we had junta last year who was the same#but thats it we cant have the same kind of character twice right?#so yeah the chances of him going are still low for me. but at the same time. danchiku and kaburagi are being too obnoxious#its like watanabe is trying his best to not make us cheer for them#and for sugimoto to be beaten once again by them? that'd be harsh#and its suspicios that thei race ended in a tie for two times. it should have ended already at this point#so. my guess is that for some reason (maybe onoda's choice? he is the captain after all. or maybe something will happen with the first year#for some reason neither of them will be chosen and roku and kinaka will#but tbh the only thing im 100% sure is that rokudai will go to the ih#everything else is a big ?????? in my mind lmao
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Figured i'd start actually. slowly reintroducing the new monster au turned oc project by first posting the new character names!
Mark -> Markus Adrianne Addams (Mark/Chris) Cesar -> Martin Garcia Sarah -> Amber Addams (Ace) Thatcher -> Jackson Hyde (Jack) Ruth -> Mabel Palmer Dave -> Barney Holmes Evelin -> Olivia Davis (Liv) Jonah -> Aaron Jones (AJ)
Another thing I wanted to introduce, this universe from now on will be referred to as Whispers of Willows!
#ramblings :)#Whispers of Willows#And uh. guess i'll. establish the character tags too. here we go#Shadow Mark#Mark Addams (WW)#(tagging both versions of his tag cause. yeag)#Martin Garcia (WW)#Amber Addams (WW)#Jackson Hyde (WW)#Mabel Palmer (WW)#Barney Holmes (WW)#Olivia Davis (WW)#Aaron Jones (WW)#Do i NEED to add the (WW) at the end of these tags? probably not but hey organization is neat#I dunno what to make the abbreviation considering. the options are taken. WOW means world of war craft and WW stands for wind waker so LIKE#but yeah. silly.#I already did like. a HUGE rehaul for the characters and storyline and honestly I think its an improvement.#I'll post the refs when i'm done with a good chunk of them!#also. in case you're wondering. we did lose someone.#Adam is NOT coming back in this. mainly due to 1. me wanting to make the adam stand ins for OTHER projects more unique#but also because. his storyline could be easily seen in MARKS storyline.#so putting Adam's story parts into Mark's storyline would be. better than just repeating it twice.#This effects Olivia's story of course but. i'll figure something out.#but yeah!! i'm happy with the progress made on this so far!!!!
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I will never forgive a single one of you
#There will come a day when your grandchildren see your faces in the history books and spit on you#“We survived the last one” no we all didn't#I lost so many#so many#His policy changes almost got me killed twice alone#I mean that literally -- in the hospital trying not to die because of the shit he did#Later today I am going to have to face a room full of [redacted] and promise to do everything I can to protect them and not give up#all while pretending I'm not already sitting in my grave#Of course I'm going to fight of course I am but Christ alive fuck you people who think this is a game#and honestly fuck everyone who looked at what happened and didn't see massive voter suppression for what it was#“why didn't so-and-so shift blue” because they challenge mail-in ballots and purge the rolls late and shut down polling locations#and if they call you a “felon” you can't vote. And guess what sort of people they like to make felons?#Reminding myself through gritted teeth that if almost half of Texas voted blue - that's a higher population than some blue states have#It's a lot of people. It's so many people. So many many people tried#People out there care and are trying don't forget them don't abandon them don't condemn them in the hatred#Welp.#If you're still reading this I'm so sorry#If you're USAmerican remember: if they come knocking on your door asking for the neighbor in your attic - you don't know shit#You have never seen a shoplifter in your life. You never had nor never knew anyone who got an abortion.#You don't know any queer people. Especially not a trans person. Especially especially not a trans kid.#Social media sites are not safe for communication. It's not a game okay. Get real good at being careful#Buy an air cleaner and a water filter and get ready to keep an eye on food contamination outbreaks#Get to know your local farmers#Buy a chicken. Name it Reggie. Reggie gonna give you eggs.#Living is an act of defiance. Fighting is an act of love
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!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#A great episode tbh especially given the low budget. I feel like they really did their very best#And even though what I'm going to say next is probably going to be all critic - because I nitpick things and that's what I always end up–#talking about - I still want to underline that it was a very solid and enjoyable episode!!!#Alright the ss/kk was so 💞💞💞 every scene I had to rewatch twice or thrice akhscbashfb they're so cute!!!#Except for the riding scene tho. That scene gives me massive second hand embarrassment every time I just wish it will end as fast as–#possible pffttt. Mmmmhhh... The drawings weren't even too bad all accounted. My main complain is about the quicksand scene...#I feel like that one should be a slow quiet emotional scene. I never licked the choice of using the song as background soundtrack :/#I feel like it ruins the mood of the scene (it was still good though)#I also... Generally don't like the direction they seem to go for with Akutagawa's character in the anime‚ he seems quite a bit flatter–#compared to how he is in the manga. He can't be angry and evil ALL the time you need to show that softness get through from time to time.#If not what even is the point of his character. Yet in the anime he's angry (and not distraught) when he loses the mine craft and he's–#angry when he's questioning Atsushi about his motifs and he's angry when he's bragging about Atsushi's abilities to Goncharov and he's–#angry when he makes the promise with Atsushi at the end of the episode and eventually he'll be just as angry even when telling Atsushi–#to run away as he's sacrificing his life for him. It is pretty flat at the end of the day.#If I can say something about K/ensho Ono without being killed I think they do contribute to making him feel angry all the time.#But that said it's all probably poor directing choices (or simply choices I don't agree with).#Also‚ about cuts. Usually I try to be lenient about it– I understand it's hard to fit in everything and b/sd already does a very–#good job by adapting the manga almost panel-by panel. It's just that... You skip Akutagawa showing compassion for Atsushi after the–#orphanage director died. You skip Atsushi sharing the same compassion when Akutagawa loses his targed in the mines chase. You skip the–#“Nothing special about that. // I suppose he's far crueler than my own mentor.” line. And sure each of them may be negligible by their own#But together they wave a consistent web of relationship between the two characters you know? And it's a loss to omit them all#Well no mind. Again it was still a great episode overall!!!!#I think the colors in the mines could have been prettier in the mines but we can't have it all#Off to season 4!!! Omg I can't believe we got this far :DDD#random rambles#FINALLY was able to catch up in time for the season 3 finale!!!!!!
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feeling solidarity these holidays with everyone not allowed to talk about their partner with the family
#for some reason i too am not allowed to bring him up when my dad is present because he gets really uncomfortable about it#and my mom has to come tell me off about it in private bc he wont say the problem directly to me#thunderclap#i understand the problem but what the hell man im almost 27 years old#its extra annoying cause ive been to his house a lot already and i know his parents and have a good relationship with them#but my parents absolutely REFUSE to let him come here because again itd make my dad uncomfortable to have us (checks notes)#living in the same space??#my GRANDPARENTS have seen my partner more than my parents have#i just think its annoying as hellll holy shit all i did was bring up miguel sleeptalking and say hes woken me up once or twice saying stuff#and my mom told me off on it after like 'dont bring up you being in bed with your guy in front of your dad' HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!#HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO INFER THAT AS THE MEANING TO WHAT I SAID... I WAS JUST TELLING A FUNNY ANECDOTE#THAT HAD 100% TO DO WITH THE CONVO WE WERE HAVING (SLEEPWALKING)#ARRGHGGHGHGHGH THIS IS JUST LIKE COSMIC ONLINE REACHING BUT IRL
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I hate when I’ll be complaining about some stupid bullshit a coworker does to other coworkers and half the time their response is to lower their voice and go “well…. You know…. I’m pretty sure they’re… on the spectrum, you know?” And every time I have a split second when I have to consider saying “you know I’m autistic, right?” just to make them vaguely uncomfortable for a few minutes and actually think about what they’re implying but of course I do not do that because the gratification is not worth a large sect of shitty coworkers knowing that about me and then talking about me like that every time I do something vaguely annoying or dumb but man…. It does get tempting sometimes
#like idk!!! sometimes the coworkers in question DO display some common autistic traits#but that is NEVER what is being complained about (at least not by me) so WHY are we bringing it up like that el oh el#like when I say ‘yeah I don’t like this coworker because of the shitty fucking things she did to my friend’#the response should not be ‘well I think she’s autistic isn’t that so funny she’s so obsessive about stuffed animals it’s annoying’#shut up shut up SHUT UP AND DIE#I don’t CARE that they talk too loud I don’t CARE that they’re bad a social cues I don’t CARE that they do ‘weird things’#and it’s so. HFDJSJKSKSKS AAAGGHHHHH#whether they’re autistic or not MAYBE that’s not what should be getting brought up during a conversation like that when it has NOTHING to do#with it#also maybe we shouldn’t be doing shit like whispering ‘on the spectrum’ like its some awful terrible thing#just thoughts idk#and the thing is too is that even if I told these ppl I was autistic#they would 100% be the types that are like ‘oh? but you don’t ACT autistic I don’t think you are’#like actually I got very good at masking for these reasons thnx#also you think autism = Sheldon from the Big Bang theory and nothing else#but I already learned my lesson cuz I told a coworker that I wasn’t sure about exactly twice#one of them went ‘oh THATS why you’re so dumb and don’t realize when other ppl don’t like you and take advantage of you’#and then the other one went on a mansplaining spiel about how me being autistic was why adhd meds didnt work on me??????#so yeah. never doing that again. haha. hahahaha. hahahaha……#this actually happened a few days ago but it’s been Bothering me so much#I hate my fucking job….#kaz rambles
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jeremiah and reeve in canon meetup WHENNNNN
#+ LONAN & JEREMIAH MEETUP WHENNNNNNN#sorry to sideblog ppl who are now seeing these thoughts TWICE LMAO#but THE WAYYY JEREMIAH AND REEVE WOULD LOVEEEE EACH OTHERRRR#HARRISONNNN YOU FUCK !!! lmao my fault sorry BUT ALSO#lonan would admire and enjoy jeremiah's company so much like he would like that man#he would be like harrison wtf why did you choose me lmaooo#how can I canonically get jeremiah to meet both lonan and reeve#he could realistically meet reeve if he's ever idk... in fucking new york (guess Who Else is there)#waitttt jeremiah post breakup novella in new york#why am I literally just coming up with ideas for the novellas I've already written#body back = me and my ex are living in the same city we broke up in#we cannot do this again. OR CAN WE!!!!!!!!#I love novellas I could write these for the rest of my life#TAG ESSAY OVER OKKKK#wait editing to add it is actually 20 million times more plausible that jeremiah and lonan meet considering#THEY BOTH LIVE IN DOWNTOWN LAS VEGAS
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Oh. Sad
#the rhetoric and blame shifting is already bothering me btw#like ppl saying this has nothing to do with her policies like okay#the assumption everyone has that Green Party would automatically be democratic votes if they weren’t green is unreal#I have 0 opinion accelerationists tbh bc idek what the hell the intricacies of that are#the demographics#hate to say it but latinoes really did surprise me like wow guys. crazy work#the fl 60% amendment rule is insaaane#and tbh back to the Green Party thing the idea that they’re guaranteed democrats if under other circumstances is crazy#not just bc those numbers so far wouldn’t have gotten her any state#but bc the logic doesn’t hold up bc by that logic u should still be pissed at catering to right wing policies and ideals#her stance on immigration militarism fracking etc. bc she’s catering to ppl who would STILL be right wing#like the ppl who agree with her on these stances would rather see it on a white man#hate to say it but Girlboss feminism doesn’t work when you’re black#and everyone’s tip toeing around it but yes. as a black women you DO have to go harder and set more stances that align with ur voter base#bc for everyone who’ll show up for you being u in a country like this there’s twice the ppl who won’t just bc ur u#and ppl keep tryna say this isn’t about race like it kind of was. in the sense that everyone forgot that when ur black u do have to work#harder for half the credit - which is unfortunate and frustrating that bw don’t get to be vile and get rewarded but that’s what u account#for when running. like u can’t appeal to right wingers and their ideals bc their ideals and biases mean it was never gonna be you#uhm anyways this is like. are we choosing overt or covert racism for the next 4 years and apparently overt#and idk maybe I’m naive I thought this was gonna be an eye opener#that ppl would go back review the campaign see what went wrong have real convos on what we care about as a collective#but so far ppl are saying ppl who thought politicians should earn their vote need to be on the front lines and saying leftist ideals that#fell apart the second they tokenized one of us as the possible face of the imperial core#ig It’s like. are we bracing ourselves to set back until the next panic or are we finally gonna be motivated to haul ass#yknow hopefully in the end some of y’all see what we’ve been going through the entire time#also now that we can’t say at least they’re not trump anymore are we gonna break down Harris and bidens own transphobia and Zionism#or are they useless to discuss now after y’all propped them up as ur saviors for the last few months
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i'm very :3 because the dark urge being fully customizable might be thanks to my very enthusiastic suggestion as a playtester.....I mean maybe other playtesters who came after me (my group was apparently the first to try the dark urge out, at least in gent, because the group before us didn't even know that origin existed) suggested it too, I don't know, but :3 even if I'm just one of the people who suggested it, I'm :3 because HELL YEAAAAH!!!!
I loved the dark urge so much (even though I couldn't finish my playthrough with them, since they were my second playthrough of the playtest) that i was like "this is too good, since they're not a companion origin story u guys need to make it possible to play them as any race not just the dragonborn variations"
AND THEY DIIIIID i'm so happy!!!!
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bee talks#I legit screamed when they said it during the last panel from hell#finally i can talk about this#me playing with my customized dark urge character: HEHEHEHE THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTEEED#also insane to see my name in the credits like wow#also idk maybe it was always planned for the dark urge to be fully customizable but#during my playtest they could only be a dragonborn#and all the promo art/etc is the dragonborn#so I assume it wasn't??#wish my memory wasn't so bad because i suggested it at least twice but i don't remember if i did it only in written form or aloud as well#in which case they didn't tell me 'oh yeah we were already gonna do that' because i would've remembered that at least#ANYWAY ANYWAY#I'M JUST EXCITED#also i might have something to do with the alchemy window#because there wasn't any and i was the idiot with no healer in my party whatsoever so i was relying on potions and so on day 2 or 3#I complained that alchemy wasn't intuitive enough and the dev looked at the other dev like 'oh yeah we could ask to add that'#'shouldn't be too hard'#and then two weeks later they asked us to focus some of our feedback on alchemy specifically#but tbh i doubt i was the first and only one who suggested an alchemy window because god crafting straight from the inventory was HELL#it was all trial and error digging in the inventory trying to find the components#and there was no alchemy pouch. and no 'automatic' recipes. pain and suffering#lastly: if we get an ace character / ace romance options in the next divinity game: you're welcome#anyway sorry what are these tags god i can't shut up can i#i'm just so happy i got to have a small tiny part in this amazing game!!!#it's wonderful seeing everyone enjoying it so much the devs are so passionate and worked so hard!!!#and I'm having a blast too playing it without all the bugs and unfinished cutscenes bahahaha#BG3 GOTY!!!!!
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literally in distress over my job rejecting my availability
#like....#okay#i'm already on holiday for two weeks - paid#and what i wanted was a couple of days extra (unpaid) so i could stay at home longer#and every time i tried talking to my manager she brushed me off#last time i talked to her she said “no that's enough you're not changing anything else”#but like? once i asked her to confirm the dates because our weeks don't follow the usual pattern#the other - i had put in a request for two days ahead of my holiday (turns out one of them was already included but that's not the point)#which they ignored - literally no approval or denial#instead they just put me on a shift#which i did end up asking about - essentially agreeing to do another shift they needed cover for if they took me off that shift#that's all#and when we talked last i had to remind her to take that shift off as she had agreed to. this is when i also mentioned my availability req#which she had been 'too busy to look at'#today i found out she denied it#which like. okay. there might not be enough people etc etc but i would've liked a chance to talk about it?#best believe that next time i'm in - which is only tuesday when they'll probs already have me scheduled for new shifts already#i'll ask why#and i'm sure nothing will change because they don't care#but i'm in such a state#i have never been so homesick. i am quite literally holding on by a thread here. and i only ever go home like...once a year#one year it was twice but the second time was for four days#i NEED this#but i couldn't even tell them this#anyways#just needed to put this somewhere because my god
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