#or did I misunderstand something again?
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Billions must die, this is the type of father in cartoons who is constantly in the same face position for almost the entire cartoon, it seems as if he is always disappointed in his children(it already depends on you whether this is really the case or not), but at the end of the cartoon he will definitely smile at least a little to say "I'm proud of you", he wears muted shirts, loves cats, although he tells the others the opposite, and in his teenage years he had his own emo phase...
#wojak#billions must die#stupid post#talk talk talk#is it okay that I'm laughing sincerely from these fucking wojacks and their faces#or did I misunderstand something again?#(i can't this cat#I'm ready to explode just looking at it#it's so funny)#he has squidward voice#that's a fact#don't argue with me
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying “LET me kill the joker” to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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not to get dramatic but one of copia’s dissociative translations in his troubled head was seeing sister imperator’s saucer of pills as a mug of tea and biscuits. he’s clearly an unreliable narrator who sees things we can’t trust to be true; going off of this, can we trust that the mug of tea he was handed before the encore was actually that? who’s got time to down a whole mug of hot tea when you’ve still got three songs to perform? isn’t it a strange beverage to give him out of all the other options? don't get me wrong i'm absolutely not being serious here (also not insinuating that copia is ill like seestor, i'm going down the psychological route) but what i'm saying is he could have been handed medication he didn't want to acknowledge
#what i'm saying is he has some issues#so treatment for that was also replaced by something innocent and nice#i'm nervous of posting stuff like this because i always worry people will misunderstand my intent (<- autism) so just to be clear#i am NOT saying that i think this could have been an intentional choice in the film#i'm just being silly#'the curtains are red' moment#i'm acting like a girl who did 3 months of a film studies qualification then had to drop it and get serious about stem#sorry this is another consequence of the insane temperatures in this country rn#i feel out of it#the band ghost#rite here rite now#papa emeritus iv#alsooo i know those shots are not strictly from his pov unlike those where he sees the normal chair / cat tree / tea & biscuits#again. not serious#cheers#posting post-friday-night-drinks or i will end up deleting this
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk
#.bdo#i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year#can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow#and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings#i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made#& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing#like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back#i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong#i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified#that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling#i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here#it's also the only social media i use currently#but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post#just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all#it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real#i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing#shit than I've ever said#but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad#and i find out through public ridicule#well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale#last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends#called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong#and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of#i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again#almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that#but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on
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Gleb is actually the pro. Brooks is a super model. I feel like the fact that you didn't know which was which really highlights how terrible of a choreographer Gleb is though
oops 🙈but also
yeah lmao so true like i honestly thought because he doesn’t really do much, he was the “star,” and his dancing reminds me how a lot of the guy contestants start off in this show (stiff and just standing there) soooooooooo
not a good look for them
#why they’re even that high on the leaderboard is beyond me#at least the sole focus on Brooke doing most of the dance work makes sense again#he’s still just standing there (sure he does SOME things but not enough to garner something like an 8)#now i’m trying to think why i thought Brooke was the pro 💀 where did i begin my misunderstanding…..#asks#dancing with the stars
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I feel like I’m going crazy with everyone talking about how good the pjo show is 😭
#pjo tv crit#it’s like… bad tho#like don’t get me wrong I’m enjoying it#but as an adaptation it’s changing too many core elements of the books and making them worse#(im looking at you Gabe and Sally)#and as a show it’s so poorly paced with such weightless action that nothing feels truly dangerous#*except for the percy being poisoned thing… that was the first time they did something right#like again I’m enjoying it (Grover is my favorite character) but I’m enjoying it even though it’s bad not cause it’s good#could’ve been good in a different world but it just isn’t which is so dissapointing#some of the things they add could’ve added to the overall story#like this version of Medusa was slay and what they’re doing with Athena is cool#but so much of it is either just a bad show or a really bad version of pjo#the movies suck for the same reason the show doesn’t work for me-they’re misunderstanding why the books work#idk I feel like I’m going crazy cause I haven’t seen people mention the things that feel glaringly obvious
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i can’t tell you how much i usually hate these ignoring, distancing plots in shows and how much i absolutely adore everything about these 2 episodes of the eighth sense. like im not having a good time, and it’s fantastic.
bc the thing is, in all of this, i can’t see the right way to go, i can’t find the person to blame, i can’t find the way to make it better. I can’t single out a single moment or a thing someone did and say “this is why everything went wrong”. it’s just this coming together and rise and swell of things happening and people feeling things that has us ending up here and it feels beautifully and horribly organic bc we can’t find that point where it all went wrong. was it on that rooftop? was it at the beach? was it when they first met? was it when his brother died? was it when he was born into this family? there is no single point. it’s all of them and it’s none of them. there is truly nothing and no one to blame. and there are bad characters in the show, people you can hate, eunji and taehyung, but neither of them are to blame for any of the bad stuff that happens in the show. you’re not waiting for them to be taken down bc that doesn’t solve anything. instead, it’s just two people hurting, and not knowing how to make it better.
bc you take jaewon, and after what he says at the end of ep 8, you want to hate him, you want to be so angry at him for what he says, for how he acts, how dismissive and hurtful he is, and yet you’ve been made to understand 100% why, and not just in a “i get it but that wasn’t the right thing to do” way, in a “that was horrible and yet i know he doesn’t see any other way to handle this” way. like you don’t see this as a misstep, or a step to far, bc you know for him, in his state of mind, it is completely justified, it’s necessary. bc it not only punishes the person he blames for all of this, himself, but he sees it as a way to protect jihyun. and not even in a cliche “bad things happen when people around me, the people I love always get hurt” kinda way, but more so in that he sees that he is a scared, messy, struggling person that doesn’t know how to handle himself, and doesn’t want to inflict that on anyone, let alone the person he cares about. so what’s worse, a quick, swift blow that hurts but cuts everything off cleanly, or this prolonged relationship where he inevitably continues to weigh jihyun down with the weight of his trauma, and take it out on him. what’s the point of having a place of refuge when you ruin it more and more every time you depend on it, until it eventually can’t offer you comfort. it’s a lesser of two evils, jaewon’s choice is obvious to him.
but then you take jihyun. and we talk about masks and fronts but we never once question whether jihyun wears a mask bc he appears so sweet and innocent and naive, what can this boy possibly be putting up a front for. but i see it, this almost fake it till you make it confidence front that yes is becoming more natural. but my god just think about what he’s gone through for a second. think about it. left home for the first time in his life, moved to an unfamiliar and intimidating city with only one other person he knows, started a new job, started university, tried to build relationships, met a man that intrigues him, and perused him only to be kissed and then ignored, then maybe establish something tentative, only to then see him spiral, go on a trip where he shared his trauma, you have an intimate night together only to almost die, and then be not only ignored, but plain and simple rejected and pushed away. like… you can say all you want about jihyun growing as a person and having more courage, but no amount of growth for however many months this has been going on for can prepare you for that. for the mixed messages on steroids. for the back and forth, not knowing. to give yourself to someone like that and go through something traumatic and then be abandoned by that person. we get it, bc we see all of jaewon’s story. but apart from what jaewon shared at the beach, jihyun doesn’t know any more than that. he doesn’t know about therapy, about how his father acts towards him, about the extent of his trauma and how it manifests and affects his mental health, and how he is struggling every single day. and you can’t expect him to know the depths of that no matter how empathetic and connected he is, how much he cares about jaewon, he can’t be superhuman. and so you get why he pushes and fights for jaewon. like… he is in love. it’s clear. he’s fallen in love with him. he is this wide-eyed, open kid that fell in love with a senior. and jaewon has just messed with his head, he’s never been clear, and you can’t expect jihyun to just get past that bc he knows something is up with jaewon. he can’t know the full story, but even if he did, that can’t be a reason or a justification to be treated the way jaewon treats him. bc we’re all about jaewon putting himself first and doing what he wants and respecting himself like that, but jihyun deserves that too. and it’s such a fine line to tread when you know someone is going through something, bc again you understand why, but you’re still the one being treated that way. like we talk about jaewon’s trauma, but here jihyun was part of it, he went through that traumatic experience. he’s the one that nearly lost his life. and yes, he appears to handle it well, and no matter to what extent that’s true or not, you can’t not look at jaewon struggling and understand it and then not look at jihyun with that same understanding. it’s not about comparing trauma and pain and deciding who is suffering more, it’s seeing that there are two people in this, and they’ve both been affected, so we should give them the same level of understanding.
and that’s something jaewon has to see. that his self-preservation is selfish. that his destructive behavior doesn’t just affect jihyun, instead it feels pointed and directed, bc every way jaewon hurts himself hurts jihyun. and it comes bc jihyun was so much of what was good about jaewon’s life for a second, so attacking that is his only form of self-sabotage. he can’t mess up his relationship with his friends or parents bc they were broken in the first place, and he can’t sabotage his future bc it’s already been ruined the moment he didn’t pursue his photography major. him nearly getting kicked out of school affected him so little not just bc he wanted that punishment, but bc even that punishment meant so little to him. all these things are established and they already contribute to his suffering. removing jihyun from his life is the only active thing he can do to make himself feel worse, and he can veil it in an act of protection, and even feel like he’s doing the right thing, but that deceives them both into believing this is done from a good place, when no good can actually come of it. in trying to protect jihyun, you hurt him more. in trying to hurt yourself, you hurt him too. and when someone is in a headspace like jaewon is, you look for that thing that’ll break through. bc he is so distant, he’s trying to remove himself from reality, and jihyun needs to act as this person that can anchor him to it. when you’re trying to isolate and separate yourself, sometimes seeing that you still affect things, that there’s a persons that exists that is affected and hurt by your actions, and no matter how you try to cut yourself off, you cannot stop that, separating yourself still hurts them, maybe that’s a thing that can get through. but that’s something that depends on jaewon. ultimately, he’s the only one that can get himself out of this place, and that’s what makes it so hard, that no matter how much jihyun cares and how much he fights for him, nothing can come of that effort is jaewon doesn’t meet him there. and it’d be so easy for jihyun to give in, to take the hurt, but over the course of this show we’ve seen the strength jihyun has developed, which has only seemed to increase more so after the accident, call it a renewed vigor for life or something. he has the strength that jaewon doesn’t, to not let his pain consume him. and in a beautiful full-circle moment, it’s because of jaewon, bc when they first spoke he sparked in jihyun a want to be stronger, to be more than the country mouse, and he’s done it. and it’s that courage that means he can fight for jaewon, even in the face of rejection. he trusts himself and that he knows jaewon, the real jaewon, to see past words that are intended to hurt them both, and go after the person that’s still inside jaewon somewhere. no, he can’t do it for him, and no them being together is not some magical cure for jaewon, but it’s what can put him on a path of caring for himself again, and sometimes that has to start with caring about someone else (and suddenly I’m reminded of my beautiful man 2 and how kiyoi tries to break hira out of his worthless mindset by making him care about him, and how ultimately that can’t be enough, and that hira has to take those first steps of seeing his self worth by himself). what jihyun can do by fighting is again act as that tether to reality and try to be this representation of the good jaewon can be and do. bc look at jihyun, look at how confident and strong he has become, and look at how he got there, bc you saw that country mouse and gave him the time of day and helped him grow and gave him new experiences. you jaewon, you. and that shift in mindset, from jihyun representing hurt and the accident and the trauma of his brother and everything he can’t do, to being that light and refuge and everything he can do is again something that might breaks through. and the fact it has such narrative strength and satisfaction makes me hopeful that that’s what we might actually get.
#I did a rant#I’ve done a lot of rants actually they’re all just sitting in my notes bc they all got a little too much#my thoughts are a literal mess and I am still struggling to put them in all the right words#mostly bc the way jaewon is behaving and not to be too overinvolved is very reminiscent of *me*#and so watching him shut down and remove himself knowing it’s something i do is hard and frustrating#and I did a whole rant about it but I realised I need to separate myself from the character to be able to talk about it#so yeah#I really wanted to bring up jihyun tho#bc he presents as so strong in these two eps but you cannot argue against what he’s been through and the effect that would have on anyone#and try to see it from a perspective where we don’t know what jaewon is going through and just see his actions and realise how much he has#messed with jihyun again not at all on purpose but that 1000 to nothing jihyun went through from the trip to the accident and it’s aftermath#that’s a fucking lot#and it’s interesting that we talk so much about people putting themselves first and not putting up with shit#like I think of simon from young royals and how we celebrate him saying no to being willhelms secret as an act of self-respect#but bc we understand and empathise so much with what jaewon is going through it’s hard to make yourself even consider jihyun#but when you do see it from his side you realise it’s a lot for him too#and that you wouldn’t hate him or misunderstand him if he was mad at jaewon#and with *spoliers* is there only so much he can take of jaewon’s self sabotage hurting him until even he and his developed strength and#confidence is broken by it#he can only keep fighting for jaewon for so long and idk if it’s gonna be a case of jaewon coming round too little too late#but I just hope this isn’t easy which sounds mean I don’t want either of them to suffer more#but this isn’t a kiss and get back together and all is good#I think jaewon needs to see the bad he’s caused#bc it’s only by owning up to that that he can ground himself in the moment and see that he’s part of this world and can’t separate himself#from it and jihyun also needs to realise that no matter his headspace jaewon does want space and when someone is self sabotaging you still#have to listen and respect what they’re saying distance means distance and as much as you want to fight against it you can’t be responsible#for making it work#agh I need to stop rambling bc it’s so messy and complex and I just absolutely ADORE the level to which this situation has so many emotional#moving parts and how ultimately blameless they both are and how it makes it so much harder to see a way out it’s fantastic#the eighth sense
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Continuity gets a little murky but I'm shook remembering how complicated Rose Tyler's relationships are outside the Doctor and thinking it's no wonder Jackie and Mickey were so upset about him.
Beyond the obvious, teen Rose running away to live with Jimmy Stone, a full adult, before he's carted away to prison is bonkers. There's no way Jackie wasn't thinking about Jimmy when Nine stepped into the picture. It's a miracle Jackie didn't kill him on the spot.
I want to pick all of them apart and study them (Rose and Mickey particularly) separately, then look at them as a whole. It's fascinating to see how their behavior in "Rose" and onward is disagreeable, but to also dig into them and see where that behavior comes from and why.
#anyway i think the tylers and mickey are actually a lot more dysfunctional and have a lot more issues than i think canon really touches#and i feel like those issues are understandably too serious for a show like doctor who to have time or want to explore#but i do think about them sometimes. and i wonder how unhappy rose must have been and how scared jackie was and?? idk.#mickey too really with all his abandonment problems and stuff with his mom. it's all a bit sad.#idk. i feel like people give rose a lot of crap for how she treated mickey and crap for mickey being jealous and whiny#and imo they both did some bad things to each other but like.#those two have so many problems. they were what each other needed at the time i think but they were also bad for each other and#not what they needed in the long run. i dont think its a case of one being ''worse'' its just a case of not being ''right'' yk?#i feel similarly with ten and martha tbh.#ten could have been more aware of her but he didnt owe loving her back romantically.#likewise martha sometimes seemed weirdly entitled to his affection (at first) but she was right to feel slighted by him for his carelessnes#again a case of two people who aren't ''wrong'' or ''worse'' they're just not ''right'' and i kinda hate how#ten and martha and rose and mickey are always pitted against each other. it's such a misunderstanding of how emotions and people and#relationships work or don't work i think.#anyway i got off on a tangent whoops. i'm just wondering about the drama and struggle of pre-docror tylers + mickey. there's something to#pick apart there i think.#merri mumbles
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Whoever keeps sending me asks about the anon post I deleted, it’s over.
#don’t care to argue since I don’t argue or get into shit online with people anyway#all I did was reply to a message (I don’t keep up with people on tumblr or URLs) but I looked up that persons name and saw some familier#folks associated with them who were known for being antiblack here and I’d didn’t want a post done someone defending that on my blog that’s#literally it#as I’ve said#idk this person I’ve just seen things in passing and of course tumblr has never respected trans people or poc#there are always things going around trying to make them out to be predators and harmful to the community and that’s awful was hell#trans women are especially targeted the most and tumblr has a history of wiping them off the face of the platform for even breathing and#it sucks because there’s nothing you can do about it but yeah#I’m just done talking don’t send me anymore asks I will just delete them#I’m gonna just block you again if you try to send me anything I don’t argue with people online and I don’t care to get into any discourse#rambling#this is not what this blog is about#maybe there was a misunderstanding a long the way but you started off calling me names and shit and we don’t do that here#alluding to me being a transphobe is something that I won’t stand behind though just because I did my own quick research of their url and#found some things that alarmed me#I don’t know this person but I don’t want to put just anyone on my blog with discourse surrounding them#move around
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웃 : An existing character you’ve played in the past that you miss?
Munday Symbol Questions || Accepting for 22 hours ||
@hxpelessnurse
웃 : An existing character you’ve played in the past that you miss?
[{ ☠ }] - "Evenin' folks. The name is Jim- er.. ah' mean, John, Marston. I might be lookin' like some average, dumb' ol' cowpoke. But be warned friend, I didn't get these scars on my face fer-nothin'."
Yeah, that guy. RDR's loveable honest, idiot, John Marston. After a past bad experience within the Persona community (This was a while ago now) I retreated to the RDR fandom as old wolf-scar Marston.
Honestly, I still do miss the muse, quite a bit. But my blog never picked up enough, and my muse kind of just left and never came back. He wasn't just some character I used as a rebound muse either. I loved John Marston, and still do. It's just hard to get back into his character, especially getting used to his mannerisms and speech again which was a bit of a chore since it was mostly old Wild West slang and figures of speech from that time period.
Many times, I've had to google a word for every reply just to make sure I was using the correct word and term lol
One of these days though, I would really love to revive him again. I enjoyed writing that loveable cowman. Hopefully, I can get back to him sooner rather than later.hxpl
#Munday meme#tʜᴇbʟᴜᴇʙᴇʀʀɪᴇsaʀᴇmɪssɪɴɢ ( ooc )#Man I loved ol Johnny boy#But he never picked up much#I did make a friend in that fandom#But we had a falling out due to a misunderstanding of some sort. Still confused on what happened even to this day tbh#Might have played a part in me leaving that blog#Anyway I do love the muse and hope to being ol John Marston back again#I just really need the drive for him again -- something to motivate me to return.#Anyway thank you for the question Kate~#hxpelessnurse
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#i’m kind of really heartbroken right now#so i had tickets to the hot freaks concert and went tonight—which i don’t mind posting on here because i live several hours away#so basically i drove to the venue for several hours and stopped like once for food#it was my understanding that windsor was opening and then the hot freaks and then the happy fits i guess but i didn’t know the exact times#we were running a bit late bc of the road trip and walked in at 7:25 (the show started at 7) and i got to see the tail end of ‘boyfriend’#& i was like ‘oh okay i just missed their first song’ but then they walked off stage and my heart dropped. i missed everything#and yeah it’s on me because i must have had a misunderstanding about how the show worked#i’d never even heard of a show where an act performs for 20-25 minutes unless it’s like a variety show or something#i did cry about it already and just tried to have a good rest of the night since we’d already driven for hours#i got to meet the band at the merch table which was really cool and they gave me a free signed CD & sticker & friendship bracelet because—#they felt bad for me. which was very sweet (i also bought a shirt)#i know i should be grateful i was even able to go to the concert. and i still had fun but part of me will always be heartbroken#because financially/geographically it’s not smart to go to another show even further away just to see a 25 minute set when i’ve already got#the merch & all. plus i can listen to them on Spotify#i can only hope they come to a location closer to where i live#but there’s no guarantee because they’re so underground. they only resurfaced because of stupid tiktok & they’re only popular enough to be—#half of an opening act. so they could potentially never go on tour again#if i had more of a platform i would boost their music more but i don’t#i know it’ll be okay. it’s just a lot of things have been going shitty lately and i thought this would make me feel better and it just—#went to shit#tw vent#rose.txt
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asia kate dillon (voice acting and guest starring) as LOS-307 in moon girl and devil dinosaur 1x04 "check yourself"
part two of two (part one)
#asia kate dillon#LOS-307#i see the ''lose'' in their name but is 07 coincidentally a flipped ''LO''? is it like o7 saluting? is it just a couple more random numbers#SO they're very good at something deemed like useful or impressive to be good at; it's not necessarily their passion but that's all they ge#attention for / the basis of interactions with them / what they're supposedly Good For at all#but of course they have all their feelings & Consciously consider others' feelings & experiences & want to connect befriend & be liked....#they had to Recharge & when pushed & stressed during this period on various fronts become discomfited & distressed & Melt Down#(weeeeeellllll Ya Did. emmy! if they get nongendered categories.)#and then they go sicko mode & try to kill you. sure this pertains to What Happens If You're Overcompetitive / Dead Set On The Win.#but like also hey who among us. we've all been there#and that again of course it's not ''the computer was....secretly evil???'' any more than ''ppl who don't enjoy playing games w/me b/c i'm#too competitive / dead set on winning like my family & friends were....secretly evil???'' like you Were a dingus to them#can't plow over or neglect ppl's wellbeing / Their experience in gamer mode. they told you abt the overheating melting down at least....#anyways but even prior: they're Clearly emotive & expressive & reaching out / communicating but they're talking to brick walls out here#& like nobody's Just ''Misunderstanding'' Them or confused / even realizing there's something they're not getting & reacting accordingly#like people are either unawares or ignoring them while they're bringing the social efforts hard. striking up an enthused exchange only to#get zero response & left alone overnight in an empty dark auditorium (gtm:pota moments) like. hmm. LOS-307 voice Wuh Ohhh#we've all been there. had a once in a blue moon occasion a few weeks ago having An Actual Conversation#otherwise Talking Aloud is like. ppl only speaking to Declare things they already meant to say. already walking away while you respond#or any response only getting a response about insisting on the original declaration they wanted to make. its being evident that even if you#Seemed to get a word or two or three in ft. nominal responses it was in one ear out the other / not processed at all. exhausting! godawful!#and LOS-307 has an (almost*) wholly nonverbal mode of communication / means of expression in their light/screen display huh#(*they do spell out THEY THEM as they introduce themself ft. pronouns. & their display is ft. as like time passage title cards too lol)#and also they rule and are your new best friend so what i'm saying is: the nonbinary computer can also totally be an autistic icon =]#obviously gonna require ppl do better than smash rocks together (& miss) abt their being a computer here lol. see like Everything Prior.#they're Actually relatable as a nonbinary &/or autistic person. not the idea that being that makes you inhuman / like a machine or w/e#and of course someone who's Clearly a person but where their behaving/acting in that capacity is ''wrong'' / Apparently invisible....#like why wouldn't they consciously reflect more on Concepts like gender / how ppl feel/interact; etc. that's what friends do; compromise...#everyone supposedly outside of [xyz] or Othered in some capacity: experts on exactly that lol#omg 1 tag: ''must be nice...to have a friend. like that.'' Waugh; glitching; Non glitching on ''lonely''; giggling; calling back; ilu los..
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#okay rant time about the stupidest shit in the world aka stay twitter discourse rn#so chan puts out the railway mv. very fun very hot we all love it. and that's where things should end. but noooooooo stays are incapable#of letting a good thing lie. so what do they do? start a fanwar with engenes#so many posts like 'THIS is how you do a vampire concept' 'he's ACTUALLY leaning into the vampire concept' 'finally a GOOD vampire concept'#which is just like. clearly shading enhypen bc their whole deal is vampires#so then engenes (understandably but annoyingly) snipe back like#'now EVERYBODY wants to be a vampire' 'it's just gore how unoriginal' etc etc#so then stays go back and purposefully misunderstand and are like 'enhypen didn't invent the vampire concept idiots lots of people have#done vampire concepts before' which is like. duh. not what they're saying#but it's all so stupid bc stays were being deliberately inflammatory about enhypen#saying one mv is a better rep of vampires than like. enhypen's whole deal#which is vampire themes in almost every mv. a whole webtoon and dedicated album. multiple short films and concept videos#WHICH ARE ALL REALLY WELL DONE!!#like why can't people just appreciate they're both good and different. why can't we be like "oh fun they both did vampires!'#especially cause they're friends! jeongin and heeseung are friends! jake is chanlix's adopted aussie son! niki looks up to hyunjin so much!#but nooooo we have to be petty and have a dick measuring contest about who's been doing vampire stuff longer which is completely irrelevant#to what the actual discourse started was anyways#all this to say it's been very annoying bc it's been my whole twitter timeline for the past three days#and i just want to see appreciation for chan's mv and clips of heeseung being hot at their concert last night. is that too much to ask??#staygenes are god's strongest soldiers rn#just deliberate misinterpretations from both sides and stays starting shit again. like always#which is way every other fandom hates stays so bad#UGHHHHHH i just want to have fun but every single post on twitter is about this and i want to tear my hair out#anyways this is a very long rant about a very stupid thing but it's been annoying me so#here we are#wow i haven't done a rant post in a while. and over something so truly stupid too#hopefully by typing this out the annoyance will be released from my body#lol#k speaks
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I think one reason why for most my life i've been so....obsessed with? interested in? that idea of working with another creative person and creating together (anything from art, videos, etc) is because i've never been able to form a real or solid human connection. even my closest friendships have left me feeling disconnected...at my core, i've come to raise creating is my main connection to this world and my existence in it. so to create with another person is to connect them to my world and my existence. through creating something together, perhaps I can find and feel a true and genuine connection with another human for the first time in my life....something that simply talking to people and being around them can never do for me. (but it also requires them to be in the same wavelength as me or the disconnect will remain)
maybe one day I cam experience what its like to connect with other humans and feel like I actually belong among them as one.....everything i've tried or done so far has basically been alone and not given me any true or lasting connections to other people. what's that like, to truly connect to others?
#just the ramblings of an autistic creature#lee rambles#i think this is a reason dping gta rp was such a huge important thing to me. i felt like i was finally experiencing connection with others#because we were creating stories together. it was a group effort and we were all so into it.....until we weren't#and i learned the connections i felt were mostly one sided. but there were a few. and it was SO CLOSE#to what ive been looking for and need. so close yet still not it. so i crave to try again and get there. but i cant do that again#so i need something else. dont know what though.....not sure ill ever find it#i tried with art. i did ONE art collab and it resulted in a huge misunderstanding and me getting bullied so complete opposite of what i want#so im afraid to try art again#i tried many many times to make music with other people and it never worked. they all ended up rejecting me before we even tried
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