#i think this is a reason dping gta rp was such a huge important thing to me. i felt like i was finally experiencing connection with others

[alchemiclee]

I think one reason why for most my life i've been so....obsessed with? interested in? that idea of working with another creative person and creating together (anything from art, videos, etc) is because i've never been able to form a real or solid human connection. even my closest friendships have left me feeling disconnected...at my core, i've come to raise creating is my main connection to this world and my existence in it. so to create with another person is to connect them to my world and my existence. through creating something together, perhaps I can find and feel a true and genuine connection with another human for the first time in my life....something that simply talking to people and being around them can never do for me. (but it also requires them to be in the same wavelength as me or the disconnect will remain)

maybe one day I cam experience what its like to connect with other humans and feel like I actually belong among them as one.....everything i've tried or done so far has basically been alone and not given me any true or lasting connections to other people. what's that like, to truly connect to others?