#or crying after losing a patient during surgery

[kaptainandy]

the best way to contextualize the difference in herbert's and dan's flavor of unhingedness is this: herbert commits outright medical malpractice while dan commits egregious HIPPA violations.

[navillee]

Zayne's subtle sub behavior pt. V

Zayne loves seeing you using his clothes. If you happen to use his dress shirt that he had thrown away in some corner of the bedroom the night before when you two were making out, oh, he's gonna have that image engraved on his synapses for a long, long time;

He would lend you his clothes, especially his scarfs, so when you return it to him, it would be smelling like you, and he could bury his face on the fabric while he's walking around the streets doing normal life tasks after his shifts at the hospital;

At that point, you can take everything, what's his is yours, he made that clear enough;

He's obsessed with you. To the point that he questioned himself if this kind of behavior is crossing the line of a healthy mind. But what can he do? The thoughts wouldn't simply stop, so why should he care about the answer?

That's why he contradicts himself. He always says to you that "couples should be able to spend time away from each other" just to confess later on that he got anxious thinking if you had eaten, if your mission went on well and you weren't hurt, wondering about every detail, hoping that you're thinking about him as much he's overthinking about you;

He'll drag you out of his car, in his arms, in a bride-style every time you end up sleeping during the rides;

He would be down bad the day you kissed the scars on his hands. Seriously, the soft sensation of such delicate and precious moment putted Zayne to the verge of crying. He thought that any abrut movement would make that scene ruin and disappear, so he just stayed still, admiring every detail, like it was a sweet yet fragile perfect dream;

Never would let you carry your bags. Any at all. Shopping bags, grocery store bags... he's carrying it for you. Your hands' only purpose is to be holding his hand or being warmed up in his coat's pockets. (That also applies to umbrellas, coats, and so on);

He's not able to keep eye contact. Zayne will gaze at your movements from the corner of his eyes, but the moment you bring him to face you, he won't be able to maintain eye contact;

He's not abble of doing the pepero game with you for this reason. Either he would turn shy trying to avoid eye contact or turn into the desperate men he is and pull you to a needy kiss. No in between;

That leads him to always wanting to share his candies with you, putting half of the chocolate in your mouth, then waiting for permission to taste the other half. No games like pepero. He wants the candy and your lips;

He would remember special dates. Every. Single. One. To the day you started dating, Zayne will already be playing what remarkable thing he can do for his 100th day relationship with you;

He would bring some silly play that you two used to do when you both were kids as a manner of flirting;

The only jewelry acesories this man will EVER use is his engagement ring. He only removes it to perform surgeries;

He 100% would refer you as "my girlfriend/wife." Talking to his colleagues at some work gathering? "My wife couldn't join us today. She's on an important mission at another city..." or when you're there, he would be all about "My wife this, my wife that..."

Zayne also would call you by your name, of course never reducing you as a possession of his. Rather than that, he would use that "nickname" to make them know he's your husband. Especially around the guys he knows that had at some point, even the fairest crush on you. He likes being owned. Zayne would make it clear to everyone;

This man will "fix" his glasses with the hand his engagement ring is on, every time a patient tries to flirt with him;

Zayne would be on the verge of losing his composure when you tied his tie. Your concentrated eyes, your face so close to him for just kiss. Oh, and the soft pull you gave on the tie, that remembers the sensation of your pulling his play collar by a leash some nights ago.

[maretinelli]

EVERYTHING IS FINE

Ben Barnes X Doctor!reader

Summary: Where Y/n is an obstetric doctor and comes home in a bad way because one of her pregnant patients died during a procedure.

Words: 800+

Warnings: Pregnant reader, mentions of death and surgery, crying, baby, comforting Ben and soft ending.

Author: Firstly I wanted to say that English is not my first language, I apologize if there are silly and strange mistakes. Second, I wrote this story based on an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I'm totally addicted to this series and I could write so many things. (My Brazilian Wattpad readers already know this😄)

MASTERLIST

After a 12-hour shift, Y/n parks her car in front of the house's garage and turns it off.

It was supposed to be any shift, any day. Y/n loved what she did and always worked with joy, and regardless of the situation, she wouldn't let it absorb into her personal life.

But today was different. Lately it was different.

Today, Y/n ended up losing a patient she had been following for years. As much as she didn't want to, she ended up developing an affection for the woman she was treating, and seeing her die today on a surgical stretcher wasn't easy.

Even more so when the patient was pregnant. And Y/n too.

Y/n Barnes was 4 months pregnant with her first child with Ben. And it was clear that the concerns were greater, and today's case didn't help much. On the contrary, Y/n panicked just thinking if it were her in the patient's place.

The woman was still sitting in the car thinking about the patient. As she quickly glanced at the house, she realized that Ben had already arrived. She takes a quick look at the car clock and sees that it says 6:35 pm on a Friday afternoon.

She sighs deeply, trying to get the tears out of her eyes. Not letting them fall.

Until Y/n feels a small kick in her stomach.

"It's okay, my baby. Mommy is just a little tense. Don't worry" she passes her hands over her belly which was covered by a big coat and then gets out of the car.

She doesn't even want to pick up the bag that was on the passenger seat. She just wanted to get home and be in the comfort of her husband. And maybe cry a little. But it wasn't the option she intended to make.

As difficult as it was, she should forget about this case so that she wouldn't feel bad herself.

Y/n opens the door to the house and smells dinner.

"Honey, I'm in the kitchen" she heard Ben's voice, but she couldn't smile. The image of her patient on the surgery table had been tormenting her for the last few hours.

As she walked down the hall until she reached the kitchen, she felt tears coming to her eyes and about to run down her face.

"Honey, you're here" Ben says happily and turning to see his wife.

Y/n, who was now standing in front of Ben, a few meters away, breaks down and starts crying.

Ben frowns in concern and moves around the kitchen counter to get to his wife. Meanwhile, Y/n sobbed with one hand on her face and the other on her stomach.

"Y/n, honey" Ben approaches the woman and hugs her. "What is happening Love?" Y/n puts her head on Ben's chest and cries more, her hands now wrapping around the actor's neck. "Is it the baby?? Did something happen to our girl??" He asks worriedly, as he moves Y/n away so he can look at her face.

"N-no..." The doctor denies it with a whisper. "Our baby is fine" she says and that comforts Ben a little. "I'm just scared" Y/n confesses and lets a few more tears flow.

"What's wrong, honey? This is making me worry" Ben tucks a strand of his wife's hair behind her ear.

"Today I witnessed a case that really affected me. I know I shouldn't bring it here and dwell on it. But today a patient of mine died in the operating room" she says remembering and crying again. "And she was pregnant...she was 4 months pregnant too" Y/n sobs and leans against her husband again.

"Oh my dear, I'm so sorry" Ben hugs her and runs his hands through his wife's hair.

"And I was scared Ben, I don't want anything bad to happen to me or the baby. Not even to you" she says, still in the hug. "But imagine myself in her place, I shouldn't have done that" Y/n cries.

"My love, look at me" Ben says softly and Y/n looks away at him. "Nothing bad will happen to you, me, much less our baby. Okay?" The woman nods her head in agreement. "You're healthy, so is our baby. There's no reason for you to go to a surgery table" The actor kisses the top of his wife's head. "We're going to make it to the end of this pregnancy and we'll have our little doll in our arms, healthy and big" Y/n sobs and cries more.

A silence remains for a few minutes, while Ben rocked Y/n in a form of comfort and calm.

"Please don't ever let me go. I'm scared."

"I would never do that to you, my dear" Ben says kissing the woman's scalp. "I will be with you until the end. I love you"

[newhologram]

Okay, baby’s first surgery. Had to be at the hospital at 5:30am. They did more pre-op labs and EKG just to be extra safe. Both arms’ veins aren’t in great shape so they didn’t even try the IV there. They couldn’t get my left hand but were able to get my right (ow!). Blood rushed out all over my hand, oops. Techs kept asking if I had kids, presumably because I was about to get sterilized. Every time I told them I have 4 cats, they laughed. They all took good care of me and my main nurse remembered me from my 3 day flare-up stay last year. The anesthesiologist asked about the fibromyalgia. He understood that it makes surgery a lot more painful (plus slower healing and can cause a flare) so he made sure to have the right drugs ready for me. He even asked if I have a pain doctor so I explained the whole ordeal I went through getting and losing mine, how I can’t get one that’ll give me the right meds. He shook his head and expressed frustration at how hard it is for patients to get adequate pain management. 100%, dude. Then I finally got to meet the surgeon. Been going to his OBGYN office for a few years but never got to interact with him. We went over the procedure and he warned me that there’s a chance the endometriosis might make it hard for him to even access my uterine tubes. I let him know about my past MRI findings (lesion on bladder, multiple on colon, kidneys backed up, enlarged pelvic lymph nodes, fatty liver) so he kept that in mind. When I woke up, it was instant shaking and crying. The pain was so bad it had my teeth chattering, the same kind of terrible cramping I get from the endo. Someone goofed and had already taken out my IV before I woke up so they had to put it back into my sore hand to give me a dose of hydromorphone. One wasn’t enough though, I couldn’t settle down, so they gave me another. Thankfully the pain’s been manageable since I got home, I’m mostly sore and tender at the incisions. So tiny! Other than that, my throat and mouth are raw from the breathing tube and I'm definitely feeling the gas pain referring to my shoulders. I was hoping to talk to the surgeon after to hear how it went but he was already gone💀Bruh. No info about whether there were any cysts or lesions. I have to wait 2 weeks for a follow up. I know we have to wait for pathology anyway but I wanted to hear what he saw in there. Hope I get to see pics at the follow up at least. :\ I was also sent home without antibiotics or painkillers, which I think must be a mistake? I was told at my consult a year ago I’d be given stuff. So gotta call them again tomorrow. Luckily I still have some bentyl so I took that as soon as I got home. They cleared me for cannabis and whatever else I need right away. Going to see about getting another vitamin IV infusion soon. My friend is going to stay with me during the day to help me out this first week but I’m still taking extended time off to focus on rest and healing. So far my body isn’t freaking out as bad as I thought it would but we’ll see. Relieved to officially be permanently sterilized. ❌🤰 Thanks for all the messages! I’ll keep everyone updated when I learn more.

[butchyeons]

up in space

check it out on ao3!

najeonghyo poly domestic au (ft. ryeji). this fic focuses on jihyo, who’s a traveling nurse, coping with a patient she was really fond of’s passing. also she’s trans and futch bc i said so. jeongyeon and nayeon her emotional support butch and femme respectively. they are very in love!!

trigger warning for discussions of cancer and death. i also use the d slur once but not in a bad way?? if any of that bothers you feel free to skip this one! this fic is a heavy read, so pls be warned!

other tags: hurt/comfort, angst, implied sexual content/jokes, grieving, fluff, domestic stuff idk, discussions of being trans/taking estrogen shots

tysm for all the support on my fics so far! it rlly means a lot. hope you all enjoy- and let me know what you think! this au is rlly special to me and i’ll probably write more in the future bc i love them.

———

Losing a patient was never easy. But this time, it was so much different.

Jihyo did her best to focus on the road- on the long expansion of highway ahead of her. Each time she thought about it, more tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, just like how they had been for the past three days of her shift.

Jihyo wanted to blame it on the estrogen, like she always did. But after being on it for five years, there was only so much blame she could place on her shots. In the back of her mind she could hear Jeongyeon chuckling at her, could see Nayeon giving her that look of sympathy.

“Yah, Jihyo. After a while it becomes less of the hormones and more part of being a woman.” Jeongyeon had said over dinner one night, after Jihyo had spent her whole afternoon crying her eyes out about work. Again.

Jihyo thought that she really understood it now.

Yeji was a sweet girl. She had been in and out of the hospital for years, fighting leukemia. She was diagnosed at a young age, grew up with it. Jihyo met her when she was freshly 13. On the day of her 13th birthday, actually. Jihyo watched as her family- her mom, dad, older sister, and her best friend- brought her a cake and sang her happy birthday. She had one of the brightest smiles Jihyo had ever seen.

Jihyo traveled from hospital to hospital- it was her job to go where she was needed, to specialize in a little bit of everything when it came to pediatrics. But in all her time as a nurse, the hundreds of thousands of patients she saw, she had never found herself as attached to one as she did Hwang Yeji.

She always reminded Jihyo so much of herself. Of that scared little girl that had always lived deep inside her, even before her transition. How that scared little girl never gave up, no matter how bad it got.

When she noticed how that best friend of hers- Ryujin, that was the girl’s name- would stare at her like she put the sun in the sky, she knew. And when she noticed how tightly Yeji would hold Ryujin’s hand as she got the needle in her port changed, how Yeji practically clung to Ryujin during her nausea episodes, she knew.

It reminded her a lot of something she lived through.

The sight of Nayeon in her own hospital bed, her leg shattered, half sobbing as she got the news that she would never be able to walk without pain again- how she wouldn’t be able to return to teaching, effectively getting her passion stolen away in a single afternoon. Jeongyeon held her hand, her expression stern, her eyes never once leaving her wife’s face as the doctor explained the next steps- the surgeries, the physical therapy. Jihyo stood there too, on the other side of Nayeon’s bed, exhausted from having to speed halfway across the country at Jeongyeon’s call. She felt like her heart had broken into a million pieces, scattered in every direction by a wind so strong that she’d never be able to find them all again.

Jihyo had only been with them for a year, then. But when she looked at them, she saw an entire universe. She already knew both of them better than she knew herself. She already knew her specialties, the place she held in both of their lives- fitting in exactly where she needed to, when she needed to. She also already knew then that she would spend the rest of her days with them, if she could.

So when Yeji mentioned her girlfriend to Jihyo one day while she was fixing her IV, Jihyo smiled. She listened, like she always did. She told her she was happy for her, talked about her partners, too. How they were the same. How they had each other, no matter what. Yeji smiled back.

“I hope I can have that one day, too, Ms. Park.”

It was just shy of Yeji’s 16th birthday when Jihyo came back to find her bed empty. It had been a month and a half since Jihyo had been assigned to that hospital. The last time Jihyo spoke with her, they talked about school- how Ryujin had taken their soccer team to the national championships after one last tie-breaker goal in overtime. Yeji was sad she couldn’t be there. She wanted nothing more than to be with Ryujin, was what she told Jihyo.

When she was talking, she was falling asleep. She had been doing that more lately. Jihyo did her best to keep her awake as she changed the needle in her port, told her how good she was doing. Jihyo couldn’t help but notice that she looked so pale, how her vibrant smile had dimmed just slightly. She told Yeji to tell her parents that she said hi, to tell Ryujin congratulations and good luck. She said she couldn’t wait to see her again.

Jihyo gripped the steering wheel impossibly tighter. Her eyes stung, angry thorns of tears working their way up to the surface. She tried to focus on the road- the darkness making everything a bit harder to see. She needed to get glasses. She needed to get home. She needed to get to them.

———

It was nearly 2 am by the time Jihyo pulled into the driveway. The lights were still on in the house- clearly, they were still up. Jihyo mentally scolded them for staying awake for her. But the moment she walked up the steps, only for Jeongyeon to open the door before she could even get her keys out, she forgot all about it.

Jeongyeon didn’t say anything, just held her arms out. Jihyo stepped into them, dropping her backpack on the porch somewhere beside her. Her head found its usual spot- the junction between Jeongyeon’s neck and her shoulder, her nose pressed against the older woman’s pulse point. Jeongyeon just held her, like she always did.

Jeongyeon was all muscle- solid, heavy. She worked outside and it showed. She was rough around the edges, her fingertips worn like the sandpaper she used daily. Jihyo never felt safer than she did in Jeongyeon’s arms.

“Nayeon told me everything- baby, I’m so sorry.” Jeongyeon whispered, her lips brushing against the top of Jihyo’s head.

Jihyo couldn’t miss the way her voice cracked. That’s when she couldn’t hold her tears back anymore.

Jihyo didn’t say anything- she couldn’t, didn’t need to. She just cried. She cried the big, ugly tears she held back for the past three days. She pressed herself into Jeongyeon’s shoulder, her face contorted in pain as she let it all out. Jeongyeon just held her, swaying them both as they stood on the porch, underneath the singular dim light that Jihyo had been meaning to change.

Jihyo had been through so much. Her transition was rough- what she expected to be a casual step into womanhood felt more like a downward freefall with no parachute. She lost everything- her home, her family, her entire support system. But it all seemed so trivial compared to this. At the end of the day, she was breathing. No matter how far she fell, she had someone who could catch her. Two amazing people, actually. And they caught her every single time she fell- over and over again.

The other nurses told her Ryujin was there when she passed. They said they had to practically rip her body out of Ryujin’s arms. They had never seen someone so young but so full of love. Yeji had someone who caught her, too. Even if there was nothing left to catch.

Jihyo asked whatever God was listening to make sure that those two girls met again in the next life, and in every life afterwards. It was the least they deserved. The thought of those two never meeting again in this one made her sob even harder.

“I know, baby.” Jeongyeon whispered, her hand holding the back of Jihyo’s head to her chest, her other arm still wrapped securely around her waist. “I know.”

———

When Jihyo finally calmed down, Jeongyeon helped her inside. She left her in the living room, taking her backpack up to their room. Jihyo could only really stand there, swaying slightly as she stared at the ground- unstable without Jeongyeon to hold her up.

Nayeon, who had been sleeping on the couch snoring peacefully with her jaw half slack, finally stirred. Her eyes slowly opened, a smile forming on her lips as soon as she registered the figure in front of her to be Jihyo. She tried to sit up.

“Jih- ah!” She yelped as she shifted, her leg caught at an awkward angle from how she’d been laying.

At the sound, Jihyo came back down to earth. She quickly rushed to her side, helping her adjust. One of her arms supported Nayeon’s lower back, the other going under the backs of her knees. She helped lift Nayeon up to that she was sitting up straight, her legs out in front of her. She counted to three out loud, waiting for Nayeon to give her a nod, before shifting her again so that her back rested against the back of the couch, her feet on the floor in front of her.

“You really shouldn’t sleep like that, Nay…” Jihyo muttered, no real bite to her words, as she kissed Nayeon’s forehead.

“I know, I just wanted to see you.” Nayeon replied as Jihyo sat down beside her.

“I’ve told you not to stay up late for me.”

“Don’t care.”

“Nayeon-“

Jihyo was cut off as Nayeon pulled her in for a kiss. Their lips met softly, Nayeon’s hand cupping her cheek, helping angle Jihyo’s mouth better to meet hers.

If Jeongyeon was rock, Nayeon was fire. Jihyo always melted right into her. No amount of walls Jihyo had built up could ever resist the pure heat that radiated off of Nayeon. At first it was scary- she had never met someone who made her feel so vulnerable, open. But now the heat was welcomed- needed. It kept Jihyo alive. She wouldn’t want it any other way.

“There’s dinner in the fridge if you’re hungry.” Nayeon whispered as she pulled away, her hand still caressing Jihyo’s cheek. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. I ate on the way home earlier.” Jihyo whispered, her eyes closed. “I’ll have some for lunch tomorrow.”

The couch shifted behind Jihyo. She felt a familiar arm wrapping around her waist, steadying her.

“You better.” Jeongyeon whispered, her nose finding Jihyo’s neck. “She made it just for you- the pickiest eater I’ve ever met.”

Jihyo chuckled.

“You both signed up for my picky eating the night you picked me up at the bar.”

Jeongyeon huffed, pulling Jihyo’s back against her front. She pressed a kiss to Jihyo’s neck.

“And you’ve been a pain in the ass ever since. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.” Nayeon added, leaning in to kiss Jihyo again. “So much more.”

If Jeongyeon was the moon and Nayeon was the sun, Jihyo was the constellation that lay between the two of them. She needed them as much as they needed her.

“No fighting.”Jihyo whispered between kisses. “I’m too tired to deal with it.”

Nayeon chuckled as she pulled away, her thumb stroking Jihyo’s cheek.

“You started it.”

“Did not.” Jihyo said, smirking.

Before Nayeon could go back in for another kiss, Jeongyeon groaned. She pulled her face away from Jihyo’s neck, both of her arms still wrapped around the younger woman’s waist.

“Can we go to bed?” She asked.

Jihyo tilted her head back, resting fully against Jeongyeon’s front.

“You don’t even have work tomorrow.”

“I wanted to get some work done around the house.” Jeongyeon grunted.

Jihyo hummed.

“Can it wait a day?”

Jeongyeon huffed through her nose, pressing a kiss to the side of Jihyo’s head.

“Do you need a day?”

Whenever Jihyo had an exceptionally bad shift, she always needed a period of decompression. And usually that decompression consisted of laying around with her girls, watching mindless dramas or reality tv, and lots of kisses. And sex, too. But mainly the first three.

“I need a day.” Jihyo replied.

“You can take as much time as you need, Ji.” Nayeon said as she scooted herself closer. “I know how much you cared about her.”

Jihyo sighed, but smiled sadly. Her thoughts were racing still. It felt like an open wound directly on the center of her heart- everything kept bothering it. There was so much she wished she could’ve said or done. She didn’t even get to say goodbye.

“I love you both.” Was all Jihyo could say before the tears came back again.

———

None of them spoke anymore that night. They didn’t really need to. Jeongyeon helped Nayeon get up from the couch, her arm secured around her wife’s waist as she led her back to their bedroom. Jihyo followed behind them, sneaking off into to master bathroom after giving them both one last kiss.

She needed a shower- needed to wash the hospital smell out of her hair, to get the days of built up sweat off of her skin. She did her best to not think about it anymore- tried to focus on the things she could be doing instead, on what she had right in front of her. Her therapist told her she tended to dwell on the “what ifs”, which always blinded her from the “right nows”. And right then, she was home, safe. Surrounded by love.

She was so damn lucky to have them- to be loved by them. They saved her life, and she saved theirs. That’s how they worked. That’s how they would always work.

After she finished blowdrying her hair, too exhausted to do her sacred skincare routine, she slinked out of the bathroom. Nayeon was already asleep again- snoring loudly. Next to her, Jeongyeon was still looking at her phone. As soon as Jihyo got into her pajamas, she leaned over and turned the bedside lamp off. Jihyo crawled in between the two of them, doing her best to not jostle Nayeon, who just shifted slightly, her arm instinctively throwing itself over Jihyo’s waist in her sleep.

Jeongyeon adjusted herself so that Jihyo was resting her head on her chest, like always. Jeongyeon was warm- she got so warm when the three of them slept together that eventually she just opted to sleep in boxers and nothing else- but Jihyo needed it. Her body shivered a bit, still adjusting to the temperature shift from the bathroom. Somehow, Nayeon wiggled even closer to her, her arm getting even tighter as she was still snoring.

No matter what happened, Jeongyeon and Nayeon always kept Jihyo tied down, grounded. No matter how high up she floated, they always managed to pull her back in. They had a gravitational pull all of their own- the sun, moon, and stars all in one bed together.

“Love you.” Jihyo muttered, her eyes finally closing easily for the first time in days.

“Love you too. Always will.” Jeongyeon answered.

It didn’t take long at all for both of them to fall asleep.

———

The next time Jihyo worked at that hospital, the head nurse, Dahyun, stopped her.

“Hey, Jihyo. Someone came by and left this letter for you a few days ago.” She said, handing an envelope to her.

Jihyo raised her eyebrows, examining it. It was a yellow envelope, her name written on the front. It was held closed with a sticker of the smiling cat emoji. She thanked Dahyun as she folded it in half and placed it in one of the pockets of her scrubs, heading off to help another patient.

When she got to her lunch break, she finally got to check it. She sat in her car, her lunchbox out on the seat beside her. Inside, Nayeon had made sure to pack all of her favorites to last her for the few days she was gone, along with her usual handwritten note wishing her good luck (which was Jihyo’s favorite part of lunchtime). She picked out one of the sandwiches and a bag of chips before closing the bag back up.

She reached inside her pocket and pulled the envelope out. Jihyo carefully opened it, doing her best to not rip the cat sticker, taking out the letter that was inside. It was written on notebook paper in blue ink- the page covered in other tiny, scribbled drawings of cats. The handwriting was a bit messy, but still somehow neat- extremely unique. When she noticed the name at the top, Jihyo smiled.

Ms. Park,

This is Shin Ryujin. I’m not sure if you’ll remember me, but you took care of my girlfriend, Hwang Yeji, up until she passed. I wanted to write you this letter as a way of saying thank you. You helped her through some really hard times, without even knowing. Her parents weren’t really happy about us being together. Of course, they wouldn’t leave her, but they scolded me and her a lot. It sucked to have that on top of everything else.

But what didn’t suck was when you were there. You were a really good shoulder for her to lean on. She was always so happy telling me about you and your partners (wives? I hope you guys get married or something). You helped her accept a lot of herself. That helped me accept a lot of myself, too.

She wanted to be a nurse, just like you. She wanted to open her own hospital, eventually. All she ever thought about was helping others, no matter how sick she got. She even still tried to give blood when we did blood drives at school for her. She was the sweetest girl I had ever met. I think I’ll love her until the day I die. I hope you feel that way about your girls, too.

Even though there was nothing that could be done to prevent what happened, you really saved her life. You saved mine, too. Please, keep doing what you do. You really were a lifeline for two clueless lesbians, haha. Hopefully you’ll help more in the future. In fact, I know you will.

Thank you for everything. I can only hope to meet you again in the future. I’ll never forget you. I hope you never forget us.

- Shin Ryujin

P.S. We won the championship! Thank you for the well wishes. Yeji passed a few days after. I told her I’d win for her- and I did.

I think I’ll keep doing everything for her.

Attached to the letter was a picture of them. It was a selfie- Ryujin holding the phone up while Yeji smiled that same brilliant smile that Jihyo always knew. She was bundled up in a jacket, sweater, and a beanie, while Ryujin only had on a sweatshirt. They were at the beach- the ocean waves crashing onto the shore behind them. The bottom of the photo had a date written- February. Yeji had passed in late April.

It was a lot for Jihyo to read, to take in. She felt a pit form in her stomach- a black hole that would open up and swallow her. She set the letter and photo down, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She looked out at the side of the hospital building- trying to count the bricks on the side of the wall, trying to give herself something to keep her grounded.

It really wasn’t enough. She needed something stronger, needed her gravitational pull- she needed her universe.

Jihyo immediately pulled her phone out and called Jeongyeon. Really, her number was off limits except for emergencies. But she figured she would let this one slide. She quickly found Jeongyeon’s contact and pressed the call button.

The line rang a few times before someone picked up. Jihyo was met with the clear sounds of a jackhammer whirring in the background, along with men yelling at one another. And then there was Jeongyeon’s laugh.

“Mind your business- Seriously, Changbin. Get back to work- I’m your boss. I can do what I want. Shut up.” Jeongyeon yelled- clearly, one of her guys was up her ass about her taking a phone call.

After a few more moments of bickering over the sounds of heavy machinery, Jihyo listened as a door slammed- all the noises cutting out in an instant. She smiled when Jeongyeon huffed.

“This better be good, Park Jihyo.” She said, annoyed. But that act faded immediately, like it always did. “Are you okay?”

“Yah, Jeongyeon. I’m pregnant. It’s yours.” Jihyo said, grinning as she took a bite of her sandwich.

“I’m finally gonna be a dad?” Jeongyeon asked in that stupid, playful voice of hers, feigning excitement.

“Seems like it. Was daddy just not good enough for you?”

“Oh that’s never enough, baby. Need to actually get you-“

“Oh my god, Jeongyeon- shut up.” Jihyo said, cutting off the older woman, nearly choking on her food. “You’re so- god you can’t even- you’re disgusting!”

Jihyo sputtered over her words as she coughed. Jeongyeon just laughed. Typical.

“God- are you busy?” Jihyo asked once she was able to breathe.

“I’m at work, Hyo. Yes.”

“Well do you have a second?”

“For you.” Jeongyeon sighed. Jihyo could hear her smile through the phone. “What’s wrong? You never call at this time. Did something happen?”

“Well, no. But yes.” Jihyo answered, setting her food down to tap at her phone. “Wait. Let me add Nayeon- I need you both here for this.”

Jeongyeon hummed. Jihyo started the three-way call, the line ringing a few times before Nayeon picked up.

“Hi baby!” She said cheerfully. “Oh wait, you’re both here- did something happen? You never call at work.”

Despite their obvious differences, Jihyo thought it was almost comical how similar Jeongyeon and Nayeon were. Jihyo sighed, smiling down at the call screen.

“I got a letter today. I wanted you both to hear it.”

So, Jihyo read it out to them. By the end of the second read, she was fighting back her tears again. When she told them about the picture, it was nearly impossible to speak without her voice cracking.

It was the estrogen- had to be that. She just took her shot yesterday. That’s what she told herself. That’s why everything felt so heavy, why her voice fluttered between octaves, a bird angrily trying to claw its way out of a cage. The typical symptoms of second puberty- of womanhood.

Jeongyeon and Nayeon were both silent. A few moments passed before there was a sniffle on Jeongyeon’s end.

“Hyo, oh my god.”

Jihyo couldn’t hold back then. She grit her teeth, leaning back into her seat, her body trembling as she gripped her phone- trying to hold back the sobs. She gasped for air without meaning to. She wished she was home, wished she was between her sun and moon.

“You saved her life, Jihyo.” Nayeon whispered.

In Jihyo’s mind, all she saw was the night they met. She had never even been to a gay bar before- but she was down on her luck, needed to have a good time. She still felt like she was pretending, felt like she was dressing up as the idea of a woman. She needed to be around people like her. She had been taking her shots for a month then- living in her car as she traveled from hospital to hospital, praying her patients and coworkers would just be decent. Decency was found few and far between back then.

She was just about to call it a night when a couple came up to her. They asked for her name, asked if she lived in town- said they’d remember seeing a pretty face like hers. When she explained she was just in for a few days before she took off on call again, they asked if she’d like to go home with them- to stay for the night, to have some fun. And how could Jihyo deny the most gorgeous butch and femme she had ever seen of anything, especially after they bought her a drink and showered her in compliments. And then the one night stay turned into a permanent residence, into stability. Decency turned into real, genuine love.

A whole ocean of people were in that bar that night, but somehow the tides pulled them towards each other. She wasn’t even trying to be seen- wanted to let the waves just take her where they felt. But every day she thanks whatever divine being blessed her with the lifeboat that was Yoo Jeongyeon and Im Nayeon, how they pulled her on board and allowed her a spot in their crew. She had her life saved. And more importantly, she got to keep doing the same for others because of it.

“E-Even if she didn’t make it, you saved her.” Nayeon said, clearly choked up on her own tears. “Both of them.”

Jihyo nodded. She had finally calmed down. She stared at the half eaten sandwich, sitting haphazardly in her lap.

“I saw so much of myself in her.” She muttered. “I saw so much of us in both of them. She deserved so much more than she got. Both of them did.”

There was a moment of silence again. The black hole in the pit of Jihyo’s stomach was gone.

“You’re really amazing, Jihyo.” Jeongyeon said, her voice distant. “I don’t even have the words.”

Jihyo let out a huff, smiling. She could feel the floorboard of her car underneath her feet, registered the texture of her shirt as she brushed some breadcrumbs away. Back down on earth.

“You two are biased.”

Both of them made noises of protest, which crackled over the speakers of her phone.

“So what if I am?” Nayeon asked. “You’re one of the most selfless people on this planet. I’m lucky to have you- Jeongyeon and I both are.”

“I will say it until my last breath and mean it every single time-�� Jeongyeon cut in. “You are amazing, Park Jihyo. God. You are a life saver- literally.”

Jihyo leaned back in her seat, finally taking another bite of her sandwich. There was no point in arguing with them- that’s how it always was. But their words helped her feel real again. She felt like a human being by their sides.

“Fine. Whatever you say.”

“We wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true, and you know that.” Nayeon said softly.

Jihyo smiled, her face still wet from her tears. Her speakers vibrated when Jeongyeon chuckled, sniffling again.

“God- you call me at work and make me cry. The guys will never let me live this one down.”

Jihyo rolled her eyes, wiping up the last remnants of her emotions with the sleeve of her undershirt.

“So what? They’ll never understand what it’s like to be a woman. Not like we do, anyways.”

Nayeon hummed in agreement, her sweet, bunny-toothed smile clear as day over the phone. Jihyo wished she could see it. Jeongyeon laughed- that bubbly, staggered laugh that Jihyo absolutely adored.

“You’re damn right they won’t.” Jeongyeon said firmly.

———

From that day forward, Jihyo kept the letter and picture in her glovebox. She got over it the best she could- she had to. She knew better than to dwell on it for too long, to spend too much time thinking about the “what ifs”.

But when she was having an exceptionally rough shift, she looked at them. When she was mentally beating herself to a pulp, telling herself how she needed to be better, she thought about them. When she broke herself down to her barest, most raw essentials, examining every part of herself thoroughly before putting it all back together, she reminded herself that there was a point. She had to keep going. If not for herself, for other people. She had people to help, lives to save.

If Ryujin could keep going, she could, too. She had someone to fight for- and so did Jihyo. She had two people.

She was back home, snuggled inbetween Jeongyeon and Nayeon in their bed that was so clearly not made to fit all three of them. Her back was pressed as close as it ever could be to Jeongyeon’s front as Nayeon kissed her, their noses bumping into one another from the weird angle. It made Jihyo giggle, made Nayeon smile even harder. Jeongyeon pressed a kiss to the back of Jihyo’s head.

“Would you two love birds cut it out so I can sleep?” She mumbled, her voice muffled by Jihyo’s hair.

“You’re off tomorrow.” Nayeon said bluntly between more kisses.

Jeongyeon groaned. “I have to get the light on the porch fixed.”

Jihyo eyed Nayeon, who gave her one last kiss, before shifting so that she faced Jeongyeon. Nayeon’s arms replaced Jeongyeon’s easily, finding their usual spot at Jihyo’s waist.

“It’s not that hard to change a lightbulb, baby.” Jihyo whispered as she took Jeongyeon’s face in her hands, her thumbs circling the apples of her cheeks. “I think you’re just getting worn out.”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes, pursing her lips into that signature annoyed smile she always did.

“It’s because of you two.”

Jihyo smirked, Nayeon made an annoyed sound somewhere behind her. She pulled Jeongyeon in for a kiss- deep, but soft. Their lips moved the same way they always had, always would. When Jihyo felt Jeongyeon’s tongue swipe against her lower lip, she shifted again- sitting up to straddle the older woman’s hips, her hands finding her bare chest- never breaking their kiss. Of course, Jeongyeon was already shirtless, heat radiating off of her tanned skin from how closely the three of them were pressed together. Nayeon moved closer, clinging to her wife, her mouth finding its way to Jeongyeon’s collarbone. When Jeongyeon whimpered, Jihyo finally pulled away.

“You love it though, really.” She said, smirking. Her grip tightened, earning another small sound of need.

The sight of Jeongyeon underneath her, of Nayeon holding onto her as if she’d slip away would never fail to make Jihyo feel like she was in heaven. The way their bodies moved together, how natural it all felt- Jihyo was the luckiest person in the entire world. Her whole universe squeezed onto a king sized mattress; the sun, moon, and stars all contained in three tired, old dykes.

Jihyo rolled her eyes. Nayeon pressed a kiss to Jeongyeon’s cheek. Jeongyeon just smiled.

“I do.”

———

Jihyo stepped down from the ladder, wiping the sweat off her brow that had formed in the brief time it took for her to switch out the old lightbulb on the porch. It was the dead of summer now- the sun baring down its rays angrily, warming everything up to what felt like a boiling point.

Beside her, Nayeon sat in one of the chairs, in sunglasses with her favorite sundress on, three glasses of fresh lemonade on the table next to her. Her legs were propped up on the wicker footrest they bought after her accident. A random piece of white wood furniture among all the black metal. It didn’t match the set, but it worked. Jihyo always thought it was funny that she could relate to a footrest.

“She’s still got it in her, doesn’t she?” Nayeon asked, referring to their third half.

Jihyo turned, watching as Jeongyeon fought to turn their push mower on. She gave the chord a few more good pulls, trying her damnedest to get it started. That thing had been giving her hell for the past few weeks- it was on its last leg, needed to be replaced the moment they got it. But the three of them were stubborn, wanted to get their money’s worth out of the 20 year old hunk of metal that they bought used at a garage sale. All ₩40,000 worth.

“I’m more so concerned about why you feel the need to babysit.” Jihyo said, sitting down in the chair beside Nayeon’s.

She took a good look at Nayeon- at the way her bottom lip poked out, pouting as she judged her wife. She pushed her sunglasses up on her head, revealing those beautiful, round eyes. Her face scrunched from the sunlight, her nose crinkling. Jihyo thought she was the prettiest person to have ever existed.

“There’s a masc shortage, sweetheart.” Nayeon said, shifting to get her glass of lemonade off the table. She took a sip. “I can’t have anyone trying to steal her from us.”

Jihyo chuckled. She watched as Jeongyeon finally gave up, letting out an annoyed groan as she kicked the side of the lawnmower. As if by magic, the machine whirred to life. Jeongyeon let out her excited squawks, jumping around it in a circle with her arms up before turning to look up at them on the porch, a giant grin plastered on her face, adorned by those beautiful crescent moon eyes.

Jihyo waved, smiling back. Nayeon clapped beside her, cheering. Jeongyeon took a bow before adjusting herself and cheerfully flexing her biceps- putting on a show for her two favorite girls, as always. Nayeon whistled, and Jihyo rolled her eyes, laughing. She looked like an idiot. Jihyo loved her more than words would ever describe.

“I don’t think anyone besides us wants her that badly, Nay.” Jihyo huffed out, taking a sip of her drink.

“I’d sure hope so.” Nayeon said, looking over at her. “I’m selfish. No one deserves her more than we do. I don’t wanna share.”

Jihyo shared the same sentiment, but didn’t say it. She sat back on her seat, watching as Jeongyeon finally got to mowing the grass- sweat already ruining the muscle shirt that clung to her torso. She glanced over at Nayeon again, who was smiling so brightly, laughing as she watched Jeongyeon do her best to maneuver that piece of junk around the front yard, pulling her sunglasses back down over her eyes.

These were her people. They were her reason for existing, for continuing to exist. They made life seem so simple- so perfect. She had something to fight for that was real, tangible. She was so lucky to have this, to have them. To have them share themselves with her, to lay everything about themselves out on the table for her. Over and over, they shared everything. Jihyo never knew she could have this much love for more than one person- she never knew soulmates could be a trio until she met them.

“I’m gonna go get dinner started. Wanted to make kimchi stew for you.” Nayeon said. “Help me up?”

Jihyo set her drink down. Wordlessly she got up, going over to Nayeon’s side, taking her empty cup from her. She lifted Nayeon’s ankles up and off the footrest, gently setting her feet down on the ground. She moved to wrap her arm around Nayeon’s waist, counted to three, waited for Nayeon’s approval, before hoisting her up. They stood there for a moment, ignoring the heat, pressed as close together as they possibly could be.

“Thank you, baby.” Nayeon said softly, pulling Jihyo in for a kiss.

“It’s not a problem, Nay. You know that.” Jihyo said, smiling as Nayeon pulled away.

“I know.” Nayeon whispered, tapping Jihyo’s cheek a few times with her fingers. “But can’t a girl say thank you to her emotional support futch every once in a while?”

Jihyo snorted.

“I guess she can. Especially when you say it so sweetly.”

She helped Nayeon get inside along with their empty cups, her arm never leaving the older woman’s waist until they made it to the kitchen. Nayeon insisted she could handle it from there. And really, Jihyo knew she could, but the worry would never leave. She had come a long way since the accident- her body bounced back shockingly well. She just needed a little help getting started still, and Jihyo was more than happy to provide it.

After a few more kisses and some filthy comments about what they’d be doing later from Nayeon, Jihyo went back out to check on Jeongyeon. The lawnmower had finally given out, but thankfully Jeongyeon had just finished the yard. She was sitting on the steps, slamming the glass of lemonade that Nayeon had left behind for her.

“You good, Jeong?” Jihyo asked, her arms crossed as she stood behind her.

Jeongyeon finished the glass, grinning from ear to ear as she tilted her head back to look up at Jihyo.

“Never been better, Hyo.”

Jihyo rolled her eyes and helped pull her up. Jeongyeon stretched her arms out, her back cracking loudly. It made both of them laugh. Jeongyeon took the opportunity to pull Jihyo into one of her bear hugs.

“God- Jeongyeon- you’re so sweaty.” Jihyo protested. Her arms wrapped right around Jeongyeon’s waist, her head finding its spot on her shoulder. “Get off of me.”

“You love it though. Can’t get enough of it.” Jeongyeon teased, pressing a kiss to Jihyo’s temple.

“Shut up.” Jihyo hissed, finally pulling away. “Go take a shower.”

Jihyo went back into the house and Jeongyeon followed her. While Jihyo stopped to take her shoes off, Jeongyeon got right behind her, landing a smack on her ass and causing her to yelp.

“C’mon baby. You wouldn’t be complaining about it if I took you right here- you love it that much.” Jeongyeon said, smirking mischievously before running off, back to their bedroom.

“Shut up!” Jihyo yelled, regaining her balance. “Oh my god. You and Nayeon are so nasty! No decorum around here.”

“Wouldn’t be fun if we had any, and you know it.” Nayeon said, peeking her head out from the kitchen. She had her usual grin on her face.

Jihyo rolled her eyes. She walked back to the kitchen and rejoined her partner, helping Nayeon prep the ingredients for the stew. After a bit, Jeongyeon finally came back down- freshly showered, her short, wet hair messy from where she lazily towel dried it. As Jihyo was cutting up pieces of tofu, she watched Jeongyeon walk up behind Nayeon, her arms wrapping around her waist.

Jihyo smiled at the sight of the two of them. Nayeon smiled, leaning back against her wife, whispering something up to her that Jihyo couldn’t quite catch. Jeongyeon just chuckled, her nose pressing into Nayeon’s hair.

She couldn’t help but think about them again- about the life they could’ve had together. She couldn’t help but see a future for them every time she passed by that hospital room. The way Yeji would speak and Ryujin would just listen, smiling. How Ryujin would hold Yeji’s hand the entire time. They deserved something good more than anyone else. She was happy they had each other until the end.

She could only hope to have a love like that. Well, she didn’t really need to hope for it- she had it. It was already right in front of her, their force of gravity pulling her in over and over again.

[selfshipping-central]

Matchup for 🕷 anon!!

Fandom: Obey Me

Satan!! (Romantic)

I’ve decided to pair you with Satan!! Everyone’s favourite cat lover <3

I do wanna talk a little about his reaction to coming out first, if you two are already in a romantic relationship by this point oh my god he is so supportive and so patient.

Want’s to learn everything so he’ll ask you so many questions!!

“So… did you figure it out? How did you figure it out??”

He might forget that a few of them are seen as offensive so you might need to remind him ≡(▔﹏▔)≡

“Oh sorry- I didn’t mean to offend you darling.”

Bless him he just wants to learn more about you <3

Oh my god he’ll take you binder shopping with Asmo. While Asmo is buying all the cute pretty ones you and Satan are looking at Miku binder and giggling.

“We should get this one.”

The only other person I see being almost as hype as Satan when you come out is Asmo.

You and Satan defiantly have some sort of ‘piggybank’ for your surgeries.

Stays by your side the minute you’re out, fretting over you.

This piggybank is heavily protected. Mammon has been banned form dipping his grubby lil fingers into the account lest Lucifer hang him from the ceiling again.

“Wait I didn’t mean to Satan I didn’t know!! Please don’t get Lucifer.”  

He doesn’t mind how silly you are online, he’s not a big social media user but he’ll post pictures of you both on Devilgram.

“Asmo said to post pictures of us on our dates. So smile for the camera darling.”

Loves how shy you are.

It reminds him of a cat.

Unironically calls you ‘kitten’.

“Kitten come here.” *The horrid sound of Mammon’s laughter as he falls to the floor gasping for air.*

You two can be overachievers together. The only thing scarier than Lucifer is you and Satan during exam prep.

“Now listen here darling. I’m not letting you beat me on this exam just you wait.”

Can I hear it for academic rivals to lovers?!

You two are always comparing marks and either congratulating each other, or cursing the heavens.

Somewhere, far away. Simeon sneezes.

You need that academic praise? He’s got you.

“Wait you got full marks on that one? I was sure you would lose a few… wow darling. You must be better at Devildom history than me… that’s impressive for a human. Good job.”

Is so confused if you start crying because of the praise.

“Did I do something wrong?? All I did was attempt to praise you-”

Adores quality time. You might be sitting next to him while you crochet while he studies or watches cat videos or something and he’s having the time of his life.

Doesn’t get overly jealous of other demons, but he will get really pissed off if he catches anyone near you that are clearly pushing your boundaries.

Teach him how to play some basketball.

Once he get’s the hand of it he might slam you at it.

All friendly obviously.

Set bets for each other, the kind if you lose you gotta do yadda yadda for Satan and vice versa.

Gives you both that extra push to go all out.

Think’s your makeup is pretty cool and would let you try putting some on him. But only after Asmo is done having his half hour makeup session with you.

He honestly doesn’t really care about the way you look, dress, etc. If you are getting dysphoria or are feeling particularly insecure, he will do his best to make you feel as comfortable as possible.

Simply stands off in the corner while Asmo helps you with fashion.

Oh could you please show him how to wear a jacker properly its really fucking annoying <33

Takes you to cat cafes.

Late night karaoke?

Late night karaoke.

[schirs77]

Here is the story in honor of Mister Rogers

Beth Usher was a normal 5-year-old girl when she had her first seizure. After that, she had more and more seizures, and doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. The left hemisphere of Beth's brain was slowly shrinking, and she was losing function in the right side of her body. She couldn't go to school, eat without help, or be alone.

Beth's family was desperate to find answers, but the doctors couldn't help them. They took Beth from doctor to doctor, but no one could figure out what was wrong. Beth's seizures got progressively worse, until she was having 100 a day.

During this time, Beth found comfort in watching Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. She never had a seizure during the show, and she found Mr. Rogers' voice to be calming and reassuring. He was a friend to her when she had no other friends. Beth would talk to the screen at the end of each episode, telling Mr. Rogers that she loved him.

After waiting and waiting for a diagnosis, “𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦-𝘪𝘯-𝘵𝘦𝘯-𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘵,” said Kathy.

It was Rasmussen’s encephalitis, a rare inflammatory neurological disease that only affects one hemisphere of the brain, and while there’s still no known cure, Dr. Ben Carson had performed successful surgeries on a few patients in the late 1980's, where they would remove half of the patient's brain that was affected by the disease.

Beth's parents decided to go through with the surgery, but were naturally very worried, so they decided to contact the one person who provided their daughter with relief and happiness throughout this whole ordeal.

She called the Mister Rogers Neighborhood studio and spoke with the secretary, explaining the situation and asked if they could get a signed copy of Mr. Rogers’ picture for her daughter.

Less than an hour later, the secretary called back with a special message.

“‘𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 7? 𝘍𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘩,’” the secretary told Kathy. “𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘩, ‘𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘩… 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶.’”

Beth was ecstatic, her parents left their daughter in the kitchen, and hovered closely in the hallway, crying as they listened to the conversation.

“𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘮 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘥. 𝘐 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘦,” said Beth. “𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥.”

Beth spent over one hour on the phone talking with not just Fred Rogers, but with King Friday, Queen Sara, Lady Elaine, and finally Daniel Tiger, who ended the conversation, telling Beth that he loved her, and everything was going to be okay.

Before her surgery, a giant box of cassette tapes and Mister Rogers Neighborhood memorabilia arrived for Beth, which helped calm her.

On February 4, 1987, Beth underwent a 12-hour procedure to remove the left hemisphere of her brain, and while things initially seemed fine, she had a turn for the worse and slipped into a coma.

Days turned into weeks, and eventually months, and her friend Mister Rogers grew more and more concerned.

“𝘔𝘳. 𝘙𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦,” said Beth. “𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱.”

𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗥𝗼𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁...

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀.

Mister Rogers flew from Pittsburgh to Baltimore, where a friend picked him up and drove him to John Hopkins Hospital where he sat beside Beth in her comatose state.

As her family and nurses stood in the doorway watching, Mister Rogers removed his puppets from his case.

“𝘏𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸,” said her mom, Kathy.

And then left all his puppets for Beth so that she wouldn't feel alone when she awoke.

And she did come out of her comatose state shortly after his visit.

Upon learning about her reawakening when he called that day to checkup on her, Mister Rogers exclaimed, "𝘗𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘥".

But their friendship didn't end there, they kept in touch as pen pals, and he always made sure to call Beth on her birthday, and when her grandparents passed away, Mister Rogers was there too, listening to her over the phone as she mourned their loss, and Beth even helped him write his commencement address for the University of Connecticut.

The world mourned the loss of Mister Rogers when he passed away in 2003, it was especially hard on Beth and her family, who he had helped so much during one of the toughest times in their life.

“𝘞𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘚𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺, ‘𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘍𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰?’” said Kathy.

The answer is simple: 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱.

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 8 Matsuribayashi pt. 26

A routine inspection

Something I’ve noticed messing around with the character arts is that the little preview images for the fragments will actually change to match the chosen style. Except for original art, for some reason it’ll just default to the console art. I tried it without the mod installed, and it just uses the remake art for the preview images. And most versions of the 2009 original MangaGamers release for whatever reason only uses the console art. So I can’t verify if the original originals use the original art. Hmmm… hold on a second.

*A short time later*

Okay, so it turns out the 2009 version if it’s not modded to use the PS2 graphics indeed uses the original art on the fragments screen. “Connecting Pieces” it’s called in the original translation. Space permitting I’ll include one or two (I doubt anyone really cares about this).

I imagine this takes place after The first sacrifice, since it mentions a huge momentum shift in their research into the syndrome. I admit that I’m somewhat confused by the bureaucrats in the screenshots, I would have assumed that some if not all of them were some of the bigwigs from Tokyo checking on their progress. I guess they’re just some of the other financial backers. Still though, their research seems to be going great huh?

Wonder if Koizumi sent her a thirty dollar bottle of wine?

Something I like about this scene, and this is going to sound insulting, is how it’s very clear Ryukish07 doesn’t know much about the field of medicine. You could probably have thrown all manner of medical technobabble at it to make it seem like he has deep knowledge on the subject. But instead it cuts to just after the presentation and it’s like “yep, we figured out the microbe that causes it maybe.” I respect that.

I do wonder if the constant mention of almost losing their funding from the amount of coffee ordered for these meetings is just an inside joke for Ryukish07? It’s been brought up a few times, and laughed off, so I wonder if it’s just some thing that happened during his former job and he’s just making a joke about it after the fact.

Suffering of a big brother

I don’t know, I’m just kind of amused by the sentence: “Rock candy as a treat is required.”

I don’t like being put in the position of having to get food or drinks for other people. I’m always paranoid I’m going to pick the one thing they hate, or are allergic to. I know what I like, but other people? Who the hell knows.

I like to imagine there’s a different fragment out there where evil Irie uses Satoshi’s request here as justification for him and Takano to dissect Satoko’s brain. It’s very fanfiction friendly, Higurashi.

Once again I’m amused by the idea of someone at Comiket, or wherever deciding to try out this hot new visual novel they bought without having played any of the prior chapters. What was that hypothetical individuals response to this chapter? Do you think they were able to enjoy it? Or do you think they gave up midway and was like “well that was shit”?

Also despite the drama and sadness that Satoshi is going through I’m once more amused by the idea that Takano is just in their secret dissection lab making sure the scalpels are all lined up appropriately for the vivisection. Just whistling a jaunty little tune while looking at bone saws. Actually, now that I think about it, do you suppose she actually helps with the examination of the terminal patients brain? Or does she just sort of stand off to the side watching while Irie does the surgery? Given the end of Minagoroshi we know for a fact she has no problem getting her hands dirty, but did she take part in the neurosurgery of the killer from the dam incident? I like to believe she takes more of a hands-on approach to the research.

There was meant to be one last screenshot here, but I ran afoul of the image limit. What it said was: "As someone who knows the both of them well, I feel that I must be their ally, since they don't have anyone else who cares about them."

They talk about character sins a lot in these later chapters. How everyone is a sinner for reasons X, Y, and Z, but I think Satoshi is well justified in venting his frustration and stress about his and Satoko’s current living situation. Just because you have the thought about abandoning someone or you complain about the situation doesn’t make you a bad person. The thought isn’t the issue, it’s if you actually do it that’s the problem.

[she-karev]

A Day in Hell (Amber Karev Angst Imagine)

Previous Part

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Four of Six

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Fancast: Bruce Greenwood as Ian Talbert

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 2

AN: I wanted to do a story to showcase the hardships health care workers faced when covid hit. The doctors and nurses put our health first during a worldwide crisis and we should be forever grateful for that even without a pandemic to prove what should always be known.

Summary: Amber continues to monitor a dying Ian who gives her a gift.

Words: 1350

Chapter Links Here: 1,2,3,4,5,6

April 1st, 2020

Amber enters Ian’s room after stepping out so he can talk to his ex-wife over zoom. It took until tonight for Ian to gather the courage to contact her and by then his cough was getting worse and his lungs were flooded from Amber’s last physical exam.

The young resident tries to put her own emotions aside as she continues to oversee Ian. The sight of another patient of hers dying of a virus makes her heart break and her mind crack more but she knows that as bad as it is for her, it’s even worse for Ian who is lying in bed looking more sickly than he did this morning.

Amber clears her throat inside her PAPR helmet before closing the tablet, “How did it go?”

Ian speaks in a raspy voice, “Fine I guess. We just talked about our regrets and what we could have been. She was crying and telling me no matter what I’ll always mean something to her even after everything. It was pretty sad.”

“It sounds like it was. How are you feeling?”

“I’m cold.”

Amber grabs a blanket for Ian covering him head to toe, “Um…let me give you a little atropine for that rasp.” She inserts the IV with the medicine, “It shouldn’t be long now. Is there anyone else we can call for you?”

Ian shakes his head and speaks clearer, “Everybody else is dead or wishes me dead…on the bright side for some of them I’m fulfilling their dream.” Ian chuckles and begins to cough violently. Amber ups his oxygen intake making him breathe much easier and his coughing to stop.

Amber decides to talk to him to ease his pain, “You know some teenagers came in this morning after their car exploded. One had third degree burns on over 70 percent of his body, one had a wooden spike over in his abdomen. The reason they were even out there in the first place was to go to a party in the middle of a pandemic. I’m a doctor so I know that they don’t know what they’re doing, they’re neurologically stupid because their brains aren’t fully developed. Plus, a pandemic taking away prom and graduation and walking to the mailing box instead of a stage to get their diplomas there was bound to be teenage chaos.”

Ian grins seeing the ire in his doctor’s face, “But that doesn’t stop you from cursing at them for their stupidity.”

Amber nods, “Or their dads for fighting in the tent in front of other family members making it infinitely worse for everyone in there. And from what I heard one of the dads knew and he let his kid go out anyway it is…”

Ian nods, “We all have a blind spot for our kids…did the boys live?”

“Um the boy with the spike he was in danger of losing his kidney but they were able to save most of it.”

“And the boy with the burns?”

Amber sighs, “He died in surgery. Even thought what he did was beyond stupid he didn’t deserve to die and not like that and not while his parents are outside.”

Ian nods in sympathy, “It’s a terrible time for everyone, especially parents and their kids.”

Amber inhales to subside her rage, “It is enraging how much worse this world is getting and we’re all just following and bringing each other down like we did before…I hate this, I hate everything. I wish I wasn’t here to experience the world at it’s worst.”

“…You sound like me after my daughter died. I wanted to burn everything and everyone around me, I spent so much time raging and so much time hating myself for not doing more.” Ian swallows the lump in his throat, “There is no worse feeling in the world than knowing you failed to protect your child.”

Amber looks at Ian in sympathy, “Tell me about her, your daughter, what was she like?”

Ian sighs, “She was…She was life. I don’t even know how to explain it. I never saw someone take such joy out of helping others or tell everyone how she was gonna be a hero. Olivia was this force of energy that couldn’t be contained. Even when she was a moody teenager nothing could stop her and whoever tried she would put them in their place.”

Ian smiles at the memory with Amber grinning, “I saw this person coming out of her mother, she had my hair and my eyes but still I thought, ‘I don’t know who this person is.’ It was like having someone from another planet into your home and you’re just a host. I don’t know if that’s how other parents feel but it’s how I felt when I saw my Olivia for the first time.”

“She sounds wonderful.” Amber says.

“She was, she really was.” Ian frowns and tears glisten his eyes, “The only time I saw her without that light…was when my wife and I identified her body. They shipped her to the VA and my wife and I prayed the whole way that it was someone else that it wasn’t our Olivia. But it was. She was…she was so burned and so dark, but I knew it was her because she had her tags on. She never took those off and neither did I when they gave them to us at her funeral. Her mother couldn’t take them, she was so broken, she couldn’t take them, so I did. I made sure they would stay with someone so that she wouldn’t be forgotten. She deserved to be remembered.”

Amber nods, “Everybody deserves to be remembered. And I am gonna remember you Ian, I promise.”

Ian gets annoyed by the sounds of the monitor, “Can you shut that off?”

Amber moves to mute the monitor while she does Ian takes off his daughter’s dog tags around his neck and holds them out to his doctor. Amber looks at the tags held out to her.

“What are you doing?”

“I want you to have this.”

Amber shakes her head not feeling worthy of it from a man she barely knows, “No I can’t take that.”

Ian is insistent and explains in a raspy voice, “Take it, don’t let her go to waste with me. I don’t have anyone to give this to.”

Amber feels sad over the ordeal this man has gone through. It is bad enough he has to die inside a box but to die alone with nobody around calls her compassionate side forward so this good man has someone by his bedside. She holds his hand with the dog tags and sits down in the chair next to him.

“I’m here. I am not going anywhere.” Amber promises holding his hand as he tears up from her kindness.

“I don’t blame you.” Ian states to a guilty Amber who closes her tearful eyes and looks down in shame, “I’m gonna see my daughter. Do you believe that?”

Amber sniffles and looks back up at her friend with tears in her eyes still holding his weakening hand.

“I didn’t give it much thought until this happened.” Amber admits, “But yeah, I want to believe there’s something good for you after all this pain. I really want to believe it.”

Ian’s breathing gets shallower, and he lays in bed looking up at the ceiling waiting for the release of death. Amber is still by his side holding his hand making sure he is not alone, it’s the only thing she can do at a time like this.

“Everything I have…is yours.” Ian proclaims.

A few moments pass before Ian stops breathing and lays still in bed with his eyes wide open. Amber looks and sees the monitors flatline without the sound. She looks back at Ian and let’s go of his limping hand to close his eyes. Her lip quivers as her eyes fill with tears before she sobs by the bed, saddened by what the world has come to and how many good people it’s lost in the process.

Next Chapter Here

[localplaguenurse]

Hey.

uwu

Thinking of doomed to die ver for the boys

I was thinking of cancer like as in either Jason or Oli got it, like sure it can be cured but there’s no guarantee it’ll be gone for good, it’ll most likely come back. So they would spend the last couple years,months, and days doing everything they always wanted to do together before the unavoidable happens.

Well Ivy, you're (hopefully) asleep rn as I'm answering so idk if you'll see the notif for this being answered first, or my discord messages.

I don't think I explicitly told you this, and I don't know if you put the pieces together yourself, but Oli's creator is @wretchedshade, who actually had cancer herself. She's beat it since, and she actually just got her bloodwork done again and she's still in the clear.

As such, I had her help in writing this out. This is all based on our instagram messages. I'm also going to put a "read more" here because while it won't get into the nitty gritty details, cancer is not fun. Actually got a little emotional typing it out rip-

Content warning: cancer and cancer treatments, referenced smoking and drug/alcohol usage, mentions of depression and suicide

Oli would more than likely develop lung cancer. He was a smoker for a while and he did start quitting around the time he and Jason got together, fully ditching the habit once the two brought Alice home. It's stage two cancer because Shade wants to be nice, so he'd be doing light chemo and taking medication. She wanted to make it stage three like hers was where he needs emergency surgery, heavy chemo, possible radiation.

Since it's the lungs though, which are delicate, he'd have to do chemo/radiation to shrink the cancer/tumors down before they have to actually go poking around in there and making the really hard decisions.

"And despite it all and the constant pain, nausea, breathing problems and losing his hair, Oli still has a smile on his face bc even though he's been told his chances are good, if something does go wrong he doesn't want his husband and daughter's last memory of him to be how much he suffered." - Shade

Jason would refuse to cry in front of Oli or Alice. He needs to be their support system. Alice is young, she doesn't fully understand why this is happening and is scared she's going to lose her papa, and Oli's the actual cancer patient. The cancer patient doesn't need to console the healthy man and tell him everything's going to be okay, because Jason's not the one with cancer. He saves his tears for when no one is around and for the day Oli gets cleared.

If it were Jason, it would more than likely be pancreatic cancer, possibly even leading to liver cancer. While his main and worst addiction was cocaine, he was also a really heavy drinker during his band days. Even in the years after leaving the band, he still struggled with alcohol and binge drinking every now and then whenever he had a really bad day.

Regardless of the stage of cancer and if he is/isn't going to make it, he's pulling out his "bucket list," something he whipped up back when he was a suicidal teenager who thought he was going to go out in a drug fueled blaze of glory like all the other rockstars he admired did. It's a dumb list of dumb shit, but he picks out a few activities that he thinks are still fun or doable, and he does them with his friends and family so that regardless of where he winds up, they'll think of the fun times before the shitty ones.

It would also be one of those instances where he actually talks to and tries to spend time with his dad. Hell, it might be enough that his dad finally stops being a bitter bastard and gives Jason's "nontraditional" family a chance. Jason got his spite and temper from someone, but even his dad knows this is not a time to be a bigot when his first and only child is sick.

He also doesn't want anyone making comments about his hair. No jokes, no remarks, no pointing out bald spots. Jason's favourite part of his appearance is his hair, and he was devastated hearing he'd lose it during his treatment. What lessens the sting is him and his daughter picking out chemo beanies and wigs for when he finally goes bald. It also helps to make Alice less worried about everything, and is a nice bonding experience during a really difficult situation.

Alice kind of exists in my head in a perpetual limbo of either baby or small kindergartener, maybe a teenager. I'm picturing her being 5-6, still really young. She's a sweet child and loves her dads dearly, so when they get a call about a fight at school, it turns out it's because she started hitting a kid that made a comment about whichever dad has cancer. Jason's "talk shit get hit" mentality is genetic. She felt bad because she doesn't like hitting people, but other than that she refused to apologize to the other kid.

[cryberpunkart]

My experience with top surgery feels like not the worst, but definitely not optimal.

CW; fatphobia, unhealthy eating mindset mention, poor practice(?), misgendering

My partner had surgery with Company A, a smaller group specialising in trans care. FFS, top surgery, I think also bottom surgery, all the good stuff. They had a wonderful experience. So naturally I wanted Company A too.

Company A knew me through my partner, were warm and excited to work with me. Until I told them my BMI. I was told it needed to be lowered. Now, when I tell you I have tried to lose weight so many times, I don't exaggerate. Nearly every fat person has the same laundry list of diets, pills, practices, shakes, etc, that they've tried. I eat well. I strive for things that make my body feel good and I try to recognise when I don't want or need food that was previously a comfort to me. I have disordered eating, and I try and recognise when I'm not hungry Vs when I'm telling myself I shouldn't be eating as punishment. I strive for body neutrality and health. I hate "but I'm a GOOD fatty" so please know that I believe none, but none, of this should change anyone's access to care. My point is; I can't lose weight. I try, I fail, so I am trying for neutrality and less self loathing. So you can imagine how it felt to be told that, as a small-mid fat person (what, 210lbs, 5' 9"?? Something like that) I was too fat for surgery.

I consulted again with Company A when I was ready to look seriously at surgery. When I explained no, I had not lost weight and I struggle to, the admin assistant demanded to know what I eat in a day. Do I exercise? "Well then why aren't [I] losing weight?" I'm a very sensitive person about my body, having been hyper aware of it for, you know, my entire life. So I start to cry, feeling chastised and shamed, and I go "I don't know." He gives me a long lecture on my diet and exercise, this admin assistant.

After that call, and because of a lot of poor admin, no replies to emails, sloppy info handling, I drop Company A. I explained in detail how that call made me feel, and said admin came back to say that he didn't understand what "went wrong", despite me explaining in detail what happened. Disheartening.

I feel the need to point out, I'm not naive. Some medical procedures carry some additional risks for patients of a higher weight. Sure. Okay. But do better? Lessen the risk by being better medical professionals. That's all I care to say on that.

I found Company B, who did my surgery in the end. However, I still got the fatphobia.

During the consult with my surgeon, he did mention my BMI, as I knew he would, but he also happened to say that my results from surgery "wouldn't look as aesthetically pleasing" because of my weight. Felt really good, that bit. /s

I was misgendered by one of the nurses at the hospital while waiting to have surgery. Cool.

Post-op, I had dressings for a week longer than they should have, I suspect because people in my town don't have much experience with trans folk (2 out of 3 appointments, they didn't really talk to me very kindly, they acted a little bit weird about me tbh). I've had uncomfortable, firm and warm swelling that my wound clinic didn't flag until my third visit, when I had been swollen for two weeks or so. I had informed Company B that I had "a fist sized lump" on my ribs.

It gets a bit confusing but wound clinic told me to talk to my GP, who told me to go to urgent care. Company B called me the day after urgent care gave me antibiotics to tell me to go back and get it drained. I explained I'd been to urgent care and been given medication. Company B responded "well did you see a doctor?" like I was going to ask the lovely overworked and underappreciated person at urgent care whether they were a doctor or not. Medical professional who took my fear seriously and gave me meds is good enough for me.

I'm just! Tired! I'm tired, gang.

[skinsculpt]

Liposuction treatment in Chandigarh-Skin n Sculpt

Liposuction is one of the most well-known plastic surgery techniques ever, despite its widespread popularity. By removing protected areas of excess hard fat, liposuction has the potential to help shape and contour the body. However, people continue to believe that this is a weight loss program and that the number on the scale will show a reduction in their emotional state.

In any case, it is essential to comprehend the benefits and drawbacks of assuming you are considering liposuction. In a similar vein, before deciding whether or not the medical procedure is worthwhile for you, you need to take some time to weigh its benefits and drawbacks of it.

Skin N Sculpt is a welcoming facility liposuction treatment in Chandigarh that provides simple liposuction treatment and liposuction in Chandigarh.

We created this liposuction guide to provide you with assistance and a comprehensive overview of this effective body contouring technique.

How does liposuction work?

Even though it is much less invasive than the endless number of other surgeries, liposuction is a type of medical procedure. The amount of significant fat you need to lose and the number of areas you need to treat at a time determine the length of the procedure.

During the liposuction procedure, specialists typically use general sedation, which means that the patient will be sedated and will not remember the procedure or feel anything. In some cases, a local sedative and pain medication are used instead of general sedation.

The specialist will make a few small cuts in the medical area during the actual procedure. A mixture of saline, epinephrine, and lidocaine is then injected into the area, swelling the fat. In general, this expanded framework produces results and eliminates the need for blood ties.

The specialist inserts a small cylinder known as a cannula into the cut to extract the desired amount of fat.

 Who would be a good candidate for liposuction?

The procedure of liposuction is not for everyone. You'll need some extra, undesirable fat to pay for a medical procedure. However, your weight will not be excessive. In most cases, people who are within 30 percent of their ideal weight should have liposuction.

If you're a good candidate for liposuction, your health is also a factor. Before the procedure, you should be in good health overall. If any conditions persist, they should be closely monitored and controlled in any case.

You need to consider the pros and cons of liposuction from a practical point of view. People who want a medical procedure for themselves rather than to meet someone new are great competitors for the procedure.

What are liposuction's benefits and drawbacks?

Liposuction, like any other plastic surgery procedure, has benefits and drawbacks. The medical procedure, on the other hand, gets rid of excess fat that won't go away. Regardless of how much you exercise or eat, this can help you get rid of fat that may be tight. You may find that your clothes fit better after liposuction, and you will have a higher standard of body image.

However, the fact that liposuction is a surgical procedure is one of its benefits. Of course, you'll cry and get some bruises, but most of them won't be too bad. To recover from the medical procedure, you may also need time off from work.

Who carries out liposuction?

Your liposuction procedure will, of course, be performed by a board-certified plastic surgeon. The expert you choose should be skilled in liposuction and have numerous credentials to support any case.

It is essential to visit and meet our skilled surgeons. Dr. Himanshu Paul's Skin N Sculpt Liposuction in Chandigarh Skin N Sculpt is a welcoming facility that offers simple liposuction in Chandigarh. Before you decide to upgrade the system, you might want to consider this. You can get a sense of the expert's bedside manner as well as their general knowledge and experience by having a conversation with them.

You should also ask to see pictures of previous patients before and after liposuction.

What follows liposuction?

What can you anticipate following liposuction at any time? In most cases, a brief recuperation period is required. It may change how long you want to take off from work and other activities. After a few days, you may feel ready to return to work, or it may take up to fourteen days for you to recover.

Even though you need to be prepared for swelling and expansion in the treatment area, you are probably going to notice some results shortly after the procedure. Most of the time, the swelling and enlarging will stop after a few days or weeks, and you'll start to see a change in your body's shape and size.

After a procedure, your doctor may advise you to wear a body-molding pressure garment around the treated area for a few weeks to speed up the recovery process.

Do you need more information about liposuction? Do you want to go the other way? Record a conversation with Dr. Himanshu Paul, a board-certified plastic surgeon who worked as an assistant at Skin n Sculpt Liposuction in Chandigarh. Participant in Everyday Medical Procedures, PGI multiple times, and greatly involved in overseeing and working on a variety of common, urgent, and unusual cases, such as Neurosurgery, Paediatric Medical Procedures, Endo-surgery, GI A Medical Procedures, Urology, Consumes, Injury, and Plastic Surgery cases. Call +91 98551 26663, and +91 98551 26664 to record your conversation. Additionally, go to

[bariatricsurgeryinbangalore]

Do Not Be Afraid of Hernia Surgery

Hernia surgery is the most common surgery performed worldwide. Almost more than 20 million people annually undergo hernia surgery around the globe. In India, men and women are treated every year for a hernia. 

 The hernia is caused when any of your internal organs push through the weak spot in your tissue or muscle. It can be of several types, the most common being inguinal or femoral. 

 An inguinal hernia happens when fatty tissue or part of the intestine pokes at the top of the inner thigh region. It affects more men than women. 

 Femoral hernia is less common than inguinal one, and mainly older women are affected by it. Fatty tissue or part of the intestine protrudes through the groin. 

 What are the causes behind femoral and inguinal hernia?

 Both hernias are caused because of weak muscles. The weakness in muscles can develop because of aging, physical exertion, pregnancy, obesity, constipation, or frequent coughing. 

 What can be the symptoms of a hernia?

 For the above-mentioned hernias, you will see a noticeable lump in the groin area that can disappear while lying down. Any kind of physical exertion, like crying, laughing, or straining during a bowel movement can cause the bulge to reappear. You may also feel pain around the lump area. The size of the lump may also increase with time. 

 How hernia is diagnosed?

 Usually, doctors diagnose a hernia by physical examination of the area where the bulge has occurred. Further test like CT scan is performed to appropriately diagnose the condition. 

 Is hernia curable without surgery?

 Most hernia patients are afraid of surgery and try to avoid it. But, femoral or inguinal hernia usually do not get better on their own. Surgery is the only alternative to repair them. Although hernias cannot heal naturally, surgeries can treat them effectively. If left untreated, hernias can lead to various complications like severe pain, obstruction in bowel movement, nausea, and others. So, if you think you may have a hernia, it is important to consult a medical professional immediately. 

 Which doctor to visit if you have a hernia?

 You may go to the general physician for a primary diagnosis. If the doctor thinks that the proper course of action will be surgery, then consider it is required. He or she will then send you to a general surgeon. Many renowned doctors in Bangalore have performed hernia surgeries successfully over the years. Remember, experience holds the key here. You must consider the experience of the doctors for further consultation. Always compare and choose the best hernia doctor in Bangalore who can treat your problem in the best possible way. 

 There are some signs to understand whether it's a serious condition. These include Fever, a painful bulge that looks reddish or purple, bloating, excessive pain, difficulty in bowel movement, vomiting, nausea, and racing heart rate are some of the common signs that indicate an emergency and need medical attention.

 What to do after surgery?

 Usually, if the person having a hernia is obese doctor suggests they lose weight to nullify the chances of recurrence. Lifestyle changes, like including more fruits and vegetables in the diet, no smoking, light exercises, and an increase in the intake of water are often suggested by doctors. 

 If weight reduction is a problem doctor may suggest bariatric surgery in that case as well. 

 The doctor is the best person to consult with if you notice or feel any lump in your inner thigh or groin areas. If it is a hernia, the doctor will guide you through the following procedures. 

[daylight-dreams-world]

So I binge watched all 5 seasons of The Good Doctor in 10 days while recovering from tonsillectomy. Hooo boy it was a ride. I really love this show, sure it has some issues, but as a neurodivergent woman, I really really liked it. 🥰

I had seen first two seasons before, but watched them again. I love how Shaun and Lea's relationship progressed, how Shaun is always learning and evolving, how his relationships with his coworkers have blossomed. Oh and I loved almost all the medical stories. This is gonna be kind of like word vomit, sorry, but gotta get my thoughts out.

Season 1 is a classic, introduction to characters and the world, ending with Dr Glassman getting a really bad diagnosis, but Shaun pushing himself to find if it's the right one and saving him in the process. Also all the things with Lea. Hate Dr Melendez and Dr Andrews. Love Dr Kalu and Dr Browne. Shaun had a really bad childhood and it makes me so sad 😐 But also pretty relatable?

Season 2 intoduces Dr Lim, Dr Reznick, Dr Park and Dr Han. It's kind of heavier season? Dr Kalu has to leave, Dr Han is a fucking PRICK🙂 and I am glad Dr Andrews came to his fucking senses and protected Shaun. People are still questioning if Shaun should be working there during this season and it's.. sad.

Lea and Shaun become roommates, OMG they were roommates!!😳😳 I don't like Dr Reznick, she kinda reminds me of Haley from Stardew Valley. Dr Lim and Park are really nice. Melendez and Lim become a couple and it's SO CUTE! I love Claire's support for Shaun. ❤️ It was heartbreaking to find out about Dr Glassman's daughter though 😭

Season 3.. it's really good. Might be my favourite season so far? We see Shaun pursuing a relationship with Carly, getting closer and more comfortable with eachother. Eventually they break up and Shaun tries to tell Lea how he loves her, but she has insecurities and doesnt want a relationship. Shaun struggles with losing both Carly and Lea 🥺 Claire struggles a lot this season, Im glad that Lim and Melendez are helping. Reznick being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis is very fucking sad. She is SO driven to be a surgeon, but she probably has to give it up.

But my favourite part was probably the two-parter season finale. THE ENDING DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Melendez dying came out of NOWHERE, I was so hoping for a magical last minute cure which never came... I really loved Melendez this season and how he helped Claire. Also this taught me how you should never ignore "small" injuries, it's not worth to die for. They could've had the romance of the century 😭❤️

I am really glad the ending helped Lea realize how much she loves Shaun. Also Dr Park with that boy stuck under a bar that fell during the earthquake, slowly dying.. LET'S JUST SAY THERE WERE A LOT OF TEARS THIS SEASON 🥲🥲🥲

Season 4 starts with coronavirus two-parter opening. It's super sad and I am actually kinda surprised, that only Dr Lim ended up with PTSD. This season introduces us to new residents that Reznick, Park, Shaun, Claire, Lim and Andrews have to teach. Loved Olivia, but I was sure she was gonna quit. The other guy didn't really resonate with me, but it made me sad how they kinda made fun of polyamory. Dr Allen.. she's nice, but I don't really like overly religious people. Dr Asher Wolke, however, is my FAVOURITE?! after Shaun and Claire and Melendez? His story really resonated with me, him leaving his family and religion to be himself. Oh and it was so sad when he lost his freaking FIRST PATIENT?? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Him continueing CPR even though he knew it was futale.... Made me cry so hard.

Dr Reznick giving up surgery was really sad, I felt for her so much.

Meanwhile, Lea and Shaun's relationship is blossoming and turns out Lea is pregnant! I'm glad they showed us the option to abort. I kinda spoiled myself though 💀 Was scrolling through episodes list and saw about grief and well, that happened, they lost the baby. I don't EVER want kids myself, but they portrayed the loss very well and I felt a lot of empathy for both Lea and Shaun.

I really loved the season finale two-parter in Guatemala. To see how life is there, how privileged I am to have FREE healthcare. I knew Lim and that guy were going to get together, but I didn't really like it. I really liked how Lea at first refused to hold that woman's baby but then did and also helped all night. I think that really helped her deal with grief. Park and Reznick getting together was.. surprising but I like it? CLAIRE LEAVING WAS SAD :( We lost Melendez last season and well, at least Claire didn't DIE, but it was sad to see her go, especially since she is Shaun's best friend. Lea proposing was very surprising but nice!!

Season 5, final season for now, I didn't actually like THAT much? Maybe like 2nd best from the bottom. I hated, that The BITCH Salen posed as a PATIENT with ADHD and then turned out to be buyer of the hospital. I hated her guts, so much. Also hated Reznick and Andrews for a while, but at least they made up for their mistakes. First half of the season was just stressing me the hell out. Also Lea and Shaun fighting 😐 and having trouble deciding on the wedding. The Shaun Show and The Lea Show were very nice episodes ❤️ I am glad they finally married in the final episode, they teased us so much!

AND I AM FREAKING OUT ABOUT DR LIM AND THAT NURSE, GUYS PLS DON'T BE DEAD, YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME AFTER MELENDEZ WHICH I AM STILL NOT OVER WITH!!

That was a lot, you're a hero if you read this far, thank you! ❤️ I can't wait for the next season to break and mend my heart even more🥰❤️

[allthingsfangirl101]

A Change of Heart Part 2–Matt Brody

Part 1

Wattpad request by psych0bxtch

Matt's POV

When I heard the flatline, my stomach dropped. The only thing I could hear other than the worst sound in the world was Summer sobbing violently as Mitch tried to keep her from collapsing to the floor.

"No," she kept sobbing. "She can't be. . . Please tell me she isn't. . . Mitch. . . She's my baby sister. . . Please."

"Keep trying," I said under my breath when I finally found my voice. Everyone looked at me as I cleared my throat and took a step towards the ambulance.

"Keep trying," I said louder as they slowly started to unhook Y/N's lifeless body from their machines. "You can't give up on her. She's. . . We need her."

I ignored Summer's questioning look and instead, my eyes glanced towards Y/N. Suddenly, my view of Y/N in the back of an ambulance changed to the last time we were alone together in the South Lifeguard Tower. I couldn't decide if I was more haunted by her laying there unmoving or the look in her eyes when I rejected her.

"I need her," I mumbled. I glanced over at Summer to see her tears slowly stopping.

"Matt?" She said under her breath.

We broke our eye contact when we heard them charging the defibrillator. I held my breath as we all waited to hear the heart monitor start beeping. As we impatiently waited, Summer walked over to me, but I didn't look away from the EMTs working on Y/N.

"What did you mean when you said you need her?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper. "Be very careful with your next words, Matt."

"I can't imagine my life without her," I blurted out. I kept my eyes on Y/N and the EMTs as I continued, "I hate that us almost losing her is what made me realize it."

"No," Summer cut me off, making me finally look at her. "You aren't doing this. Y/N is an amazing girl and you broke her. You broke her, Matt. She finally got the courage to tell you how she felt and you shot her down. Are you telling me that all this time. . . Or are you just suddenly realizing it because we might. . . No. My sister deserves better. Y/N deserves a guy who knows he wants to be with her. Not some Olympic Asshole who picks and chooses when he gets a girl."

I opened my mouth to respond but was interrupted when we heard a beautiful beep. You could hear us all sucking in a synced breath when we recognized the sound. We turned around and saw the EMTs letting out relieved sighs.

"She's back," an EMT said as he glanced over at us. "We got her back."

"Alert the surgical team at the nearest hospital," the other EMT started giving instructions. "We need to get her into surgery as soon as we get there."

The EMTs started talking indistinctly as they hooked her up to more machines. I jumped when they slammed the door shut and the ambulance sped off. I turned to say something to Summer but she was already jogging towards her car. CJ and Stephanie sent me matching glares before following Summer. Ronnie cleared his throat, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with me.

"We're going to the hospital," Mitch said with not even an ounce of emotion in his voice. "Want a ride?"

We rode to the hospital in silence. I watched the buildings zoom by, the anger in Summer's voice repeating over and over again. The glare she gave me sent chills down my spine just thinking about it.

She was right. Y/N is too good for me.

As we sat in the waiting room, I thought back to our conversation in the South Lifeguard Tower. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized I never shot her down. I didn't say anything to her. She assumed I didn't have feelings for her because I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything because I was too shocked.

I looked up and noticed Summer watching me with tears streaming down her face. She had numerous reasons to be pissed at me but the real reason was because of the conversation in the South Lifeguard Tower. I stood up, nervously wiping my hands on my shorts as I walked over to her.

"Don't," she said, her voice getting caught in her throat. "I don't care how guilty you feel about shooting my sister down. I have more important things to think about. Like how Y/N is fighting for her life on a surgery table right now."

"Summer," I stuttered. "Please just. . ."

"Stop!" She yelled, quickly standing up. "My sister is dying, Matt. I don't give a shit that you feel guilty for turning her down. You have no idea how much you hurt her."

"I didn't. . ." I stuttered.

"Of course not," she scoffed. "She took two weeks off from work. Want to know what she did during that time? She spent the entire two weeks crying her eyes out. She was embarrassed, defeated, humiliated, and felt like she couldn't face you. Here's the real kicker; she came back for you!"

"What do you mean?" I asked under my breath.

"You were losing it, Matt," she sighed. "We could all see it."

I looked behind her to see everyone else watching us with the same look on their faces. When I made eye contact with Mitch, he shook his head and looked around the waiting room.

"Summer," I said, my voice breaking as I turned back towards her.

"Enough," she said through her teeth. "Y/N doesn't deserve you, Matt Brody. She deserves better."

* * * * *

An hour later, we still hadn't heard anything from the doctors working to save Y/N's life. We sat in the waiting room of the ER, all of us on edge. Whenever someone walked through a door, we all jumped.

"For Ms. Y/N Quinn?"

We all jumped up, slightly surprising the doctor when he saw how many of us were there. He looked around, trying to figure out which one of us he needed to address first.

"I'm her sister," Summer said shakily as she took a step towards him. "Is she. . . Did she. . . Please tell me she's okay."

"Your sister is one hell of a fighter," the doctor smiled sweetly at her.

"She's okay?" Summer said with nothing but hope in her voice.

"For the most part," he said slowly.

"What does that mean?" Ronnie asked.

"Well," the doctor said, slightly clearing his throat. "As you know, they were able to restart her heart in the back of the ambulance but her vitals were too low when she got to the hospital. As we took her into an exam room, she stopped breathing again. After a few tests, we discovered that it wasn't just the drowning that almost killed her."

"What was it?" Summer asked, slightly taking a step closer to the doctor.

"A bullet."

My breath got stuck in my throat. I looked over at Summer to see her covering her mouth, trying to stop the sob.

"When the hell was she shot?" CJ asked under her breath.

"Underwater," Mitch mumbled to himself. We turned around to see him thinking about something.

"Mitch?" Summer said under her breath.

"Before I jumped in after her, I thought I heard something strange. If I hadn't hesitated. . . I'm so sorry, Summer. I heard the gunshot and that's what made me jump in after her. I should've done that sooner. I'm so sorry."

"This isn't your fault," she said gently. My heart dropped into my stomach when Summer glanced over at me.

"How is she?" Mitch asked.

"We got the bullet out," the doctor continued, "and stopped the bleeding, but she still lost a lot of blood during the surgery. I'm afraid she's slipped into a coma."

"When is she going to wake up?" Summer asked almost instantly.

"We can't be entirely sure," he sighed. "She could be asleep for a few more hours or a few more days. When a patient loses a lot of blood, their mind tends to shut off until that blood is reproduced. But I can assure you that we are doing everything we can to make her feel comfortable until she does. I can take you to see her, Ms. Quinn."

When the rest of us took a few steps closer to Summer and the doctor, he stopped us. "I'm sorry," he said, clearing his throat, "but only family can go into the ICU."

Even though we didn't like it, we sat back down. I intertwined my fingers, struggling to calm my nerves. The next few days were never-ending. While the others went home, I stayed sitting in the uncomfortable ER waiting room chair.

"Matt."

I jumped when I felt someone kick my foot. I looked up to see Mitch standing above me with his arms folded. He sighed as he slightly shook his head.

"Go home."

"I'm good," I said, clearing my throat.

"No, you're not," he sighed. "You haven't slept, you've barely eaten, and you look like shit. Not to mention that you reek."

"I'm not leaving," I said sleepily.

"Matt," he sighed again as he sat next to me. "I know you feel guilty for what happened to Y/N, but the boat fire had nothing to do with you. If anyone is to blame, it's me. I was the one who didn't jump in after her soon enough. I keep hearing that damn underwater gunshot. It replays in my mind and my dreams. This was my responsibility. All of your safety falls on me. I failed Y/N. And Summer."

I suddenly realized how much this has been weighing down on him. His shoulders were tense, his back was hunched, and his eyes were heavy.

"Mitch," I said, making him look at me, "Y/N wouldn't blame you for anything that's happened. You jumped in, you found her, you brought her back to the boat. You saved her, Mitch. All I did was break her heart."

"About that," Mitch said, clearing his throat to cover his laugh. "What the hell, man? She told you how she felt, you shut her down, then she gets hurt and that makes you suddenly have feelings for her?"

"First of all," I sighed, "I didn't shoot her down. I didn't respond right away and she took that as me not having feelings for her. Second, I didn't say anything about "suddenly" having feelings for her."

"Hold on," he said, more anger in his voice. "After all the shit that's gone down, you actually have feelings for her?"

When he looked at me, he saw my answer clearly written on my face. He scoffed as he looked away, slightly shaking his head. When he looked back at me, I felt like a kid about to get scolded by my father.

"Please tell me you realize how much of an asshole you are," he scoffed.

"Mitch," I stuttered.

"Y/N is an amazing girl. You'd be lucky to have someone like her interested in you. Honestly, you don't deserve her anymore. Hell, you didn't deserve her when she told you how she felt. And if you walk into that hospital room and confess to having feelings for her all along. . ."

He didn't finish his threat. Instead, he stood up and wiped his hands on his pants. He was about to walk away but stopped. He didn't bother to turn around as he spoke up.

"By the way," he said through his teeth, "She's awake."

I watched Mitch leave before slowly standing up. I made my way down the hallway, my nerves jumping all over the place the closer I got to her. I hesitated outside her room, continually wiping my sweaty hands on my pants. Whenever I reached for the door handle, I never made it all the way to it. As I tried to reach for the handle again, the door swung open.

"Matt," Summer gasped. She looked over her shoulder before quickly closing the door. "I don't think you should be here."

"Summer, please," I stuttered. "I just want to. . ."

"You've done enough."

* * * * *

After Summer stopped me from going into Y/N's room, I was even more determined to talk to her. I waited for Summer to leave before sneaking back down the hallway. I ducked into Y/N's room, my breath getting caught in my throat when I turned and saw Y/N asleep in the hospital bed.

I felt numb as I walked over and sat next to her. I hesitated to grab her hand because I didn't want to wake her up. Instead, I sat back in the uncomfortable chair and thought about the last conversation Y/N and I had.

~•~

"Your sister is looking for you," I said. I got concerned when I noticed her still facing away from me. I slowly walked over and grabbed the gauze that was frozen in her hand.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, not at all convincingly.

"Y/N," I elongated. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," she said again, sounding less convincing than before.

"I'm in love with you."

I heard her suck in a breath the same time I sucked in one of my own. My mind instantly started going 100 miles an hour.

She was in love with me? Since when? Does everyone know? How could I not know?

"What?" I asked under my breath for clarity. I wanted, no needed to make sure I heard her right.

"Never mind," she stuttered. My heart sank when she started to leave the shack.

"Y/N," I said, trying to get her to look at me. My shoulders slightly sank when she remained facing the door. "What did you say?"

"Just forget it," she said quickly.

Right as she was about to leave, I quickly grabbed her hand and slowly turned her towards me. I tried to get her to look up at me but she kept her stare to the ground.

"Y/N?" I whispered. "Did you mean it? Are you really. . ."

"Yes," she forced out. When she finally looked up at me, her eyes sank. My heart clenched when I saw her struggling to hold back embarrassed tears.

"Y/N," I stuttered, "I'm not. . . It's not that . . . I'm sorry."

She roughly pulled her hand out of mine and cleared her throat like she was trying to get rid of a lump.

"Okay," she whispered.

"Y/N," I sighed.

"It's fine," she said before I could get a chance to explain what was going through my head. It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for her. The truth was, I wasn't sure how I felt about Y/N Quinn.

"I should umm. . . You're taking over, right? You're on the next shift? Okay, I'm gonna go then. Bye, Matt."

"Y/N," I said, trying to get her to stay and hear me out. "Please let's. . ."

I physically jumped when the South Lifeguard tower door shut between us. I sat on one of the extra chairs, my mind not stopping. I ran my fingers through my hair as Y/N's defeated and embarrassed look on her face was stuck in my head.

"I don't know how I feel about you," I mumbled to myself. "But I know I don't want to lose you."

~•~

I've always felt this pull towards Y/N. I just thought it was friendship. That is until she told me how she felt for me. I looked over at her, the guilt suffocating me.

"You don't get it," I whispered, shaking my head and looking away from her. "You left before I could explain. I wasn't stuttering that I didn't have feelings for you. I was stuttering that I wasn't sure. I know that's not better but. . ."

"Matt?"

My head snapped up when I heard my name weakly said. I was met with Y/N's Y/E/C eyes. I smiled as I scooted closer to her.

"Hi," I whispered.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you," I started to ramble. "Look, I know things have been weird between us and I hate it. I absolutely hate this tension between us, Y/N. When you were gone, those were the worst two weeks of my life. I was miserable. I wanted to call you but Summer kept telling me to leave you alone."

"She what?" She asked softly but I kept talking.

"And then when you came back? I didn't know what to do or say. Whatever I rehearsed, didn't seem good enough. Then the boat fire. . . You were underwater for four and a half minutes. Mitch gave you CPR for the whole five-minute boat ride back to shore. The EMTs took over for three minutes before they hooked you up to the defibrillator. One minute and forty-two seconds later, you flatlined. That was the longest minute and forty-two seconds of my life."

"Matt," she said weakly, trying to interrupt me again.

"When you told me how you felt," I continued, "I didn't respond but not because I didn't have a response for you. It was because I was evaluating."

"Evaluating," she repeated. "Matt, what does that mean? Evaluating what?"

"Us," I said before I could stop myself. "I mean evaluating who you are to me. We've been good friends since you started at Baywatch, but I've always thought our relationship was stronger than just a simple friendship. And it wasn't until you left those two weeks that I realized it was a lot deeper than a simple friendship."

"What are you trying to say?" She asked hesitantly.

"I'm saying I have feelings for you," I said quickly. I watched as her eyes widened. She was studying me hard, probably trying to decide if I was being honest with her.

To help reassure her, I continued. "Y/N, I'm not just saying I have feelings for you because I almost lost you. I'm saying it because I didn't realize how I felt for you. I had a general idea but I wasn't sure exactly. I know this doesn't make much sense, but it's the truth. I care about you, Y/N, a lot. I'm sorry it took almost losing you for me to wake up and realize that I've loved you all this time."

I held my breath, waiting for her reaction. When her eyes filled with tears, I couldn't tell if they were happy tears or angry tears. The silence ate away at me, almost as much as the guilt.

"Please say something," I whispered. My breath got caught in my throat when she slowly smiled.

"Come here," she whispered.

I scooted the chair closer to Y/N's bed and grabbed her hand. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. The second our lips touched, we instantly started moving them in sync.

Every feeling I've felt since her confession intensified as we finally kissed. It was like everything we've been holding back, burst. Without breaking the kiss, I stood up and carefully crawled onto her bed until I was hovering over her. The kiss got heated as Y/N reached up, grabbed my shirt, and pulled me closer to her.

She moaned when I used the hand that wasn't holding me up to gently rub her hip. I smirked against her lips as I slowly slid that hand up her body. She gasped, breaking the kiss when I found and squeezed her boob. That surprised gasp turned into a painful one.

"Shit," I gasped, moving my weight off of her. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I should've. . . You've been shot and I. . . I'm sorry. For everything. I never should've. . ."

"Matt," she whispered, cutting me off as she reached up and gently cupped my cheek in her hand. "It's okay."

"No," I stuttered. "It's not okay, Y/N. None of it is. I want to make it up to you. I need to make it up to you."

"Then take me on a date," she said so simply.

"What?"

"Take me on a date," she repeated.

I smiled, feeling like a giddy idiot as I laid down next to her. I let out a satisfied sigh as she immediately cuddled into my chest.

"As soon as you get out of here," I whispered, "I'm taking you on that date."

[marvel-heaux]

Stay (part 1) - SamBucky - warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, blood, hand wavy biology for super soldiers, hospitals

-

It wasn’t -

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“God damn it, Buck,” Sam pants, voice breaking, pressing his hand hard against the gaping fucking hole in Bucky’s chest.

It was supposed to be a simple press conference. As simple as they get, at least, when you’re Captain America. He’s not even wearing the fucking suit, for God’s sake. It was just to announce some education initiative, he can’t even remember, and now Bucky’s blood is running hot through his fingers.

“I need a medic!” Sam shouts, the chaos around them nothing but background noise to him. All he can hear is the wet rattle of Bucky’s breathing. “Medic!”

Neither of them had expected trouble - no one had. Least of all one fringe zealot nut job who was convinced Bucky was still working for Hydra and slowly taking down America from the inside.

But one nut job and sawed off shotgun bursting through a crowd is all it takes. Even super soldier healing can’t compete with a close range shot to the chest.

“Sam,” Bucky pants, hand coming up to cover Sam’s on his chest. He’s losing too much blood, the shot too close range. “Sam, look at me. It’s okay.”

The words are barely audible, dark blood leaking from the corner of Bucky’s lips. He’s going pale.

“Shut up, man,” Sam shakes his head, because he can’t. He doesn’t know when tears started burning his eyes, or when his voice got so weak, but he can’t. He can’t entertain that thought, not with so much between them unexplored. Not with so many more nights watching the sun go down in Louisiana to be had. Not when the boys will ask what happened to Uncle Bucky. Not without the mornings and nights together Sam knows they were meant to have “You’ve been a pain in my ass for this long and you’re giving up now?”

Bucky smiles, and when he lifts his hand to Sam’s face it’s shaking.

“You make me so proud,” he says, the words as broken as his breathing. Sam can tell it’s taking everything he has just to speak.

“C’mon, Buck, save it for when we’ve got you stable, alright -”

The medics are rushing over now, Sam can see them pushing through the chaos towards them.

Bucky shakes his head, lungs rattling wetly. His eyes are closing, the blood slowing beneath Sam’s palm.“If I was ever going to get old and grey, I’d want it to be with you.”

Sam makes a broken noise, barely registering the medics swarming them now.

“Then stay, Bucky, c’mon -” he pleads, feeling strong hands pull him away to make room for the medics. “Stay -”

It’s all a blur after that, Sam’s ears ringing as he sees the medics rush Bucky’s limp form into an ambulance. He tries to follow, but his knees go weak.

“- am! Sam, look at me, hey -”

It’s Torres, wide brown eyes worried as he grabs Sam’s face.

“Are you hurt?” He asks, gently tapping his cheek to get his attention.

“No,” Sam rasps. “Bucky -”

“They’re taking him to the hospital, I’ll get you there,” Torres nods, hauling Sam up as best he can. “Come on, Cap.”

-

Sam has paced the length of the hospital hallway at least a hundred times.

The poor nurses have been nothing but patient with him, despite his constant asking for updates.

Mr. Barnes is in surgery, they say. That’s all we know right now.

He talks to Sarah, reassuring her that he’s okay and hiding next to a vending machine when she asks him if he’s okay and he can’t keep it together anymore.

“There’s so much I haven’t said,” he whispers, hand over his eyes as tears roll hot down his cheeks. “Sarah, there’s so much I haven’t said to him.”

Sarah makes a soft noise. “I know, Sam. I know.”

She doesn’t tell him it’s going to be okay, because they both know she can’t promise that. But she listens, and she tells him to call her the moment he hears anything.

Hours go by. Torres brings him coffee, squeezing his shoulder and updating him on the situation at the conference - the man is in custody. Sam wants him dead.

Eventually, Torres falls asleep next to Sam in the waiting room, having adamantly refused to leave. He’s a good kid, Sam thinks. He’d probably have torn his hair out without him here.

Around 3 in the morning, an exhausted looking doctor comes out.

“Mr. Wilson,” he says. “Please come with me.”

Sam is up like a shot, heart pounding as he follows the doctor down the hallway.

“Is he -” he starts, voice catching brokenly before he can finish the sentence.

“He’s alive,” the doctor says, giving Sam a tired smile. “He’s a fighter.”

Sam feels like he might fall down, the sheer relief nearly bringing him to his knees. The doctor steadies him gently, giving him a moment to catch himself before they continue walking.

“His healing factor made the surgery incredibly difficult,” the doctor starts to explain. “Once we gave him transfusions and stabilized the blood loss, his body started metabolizing any anaesthetic we gave him. We couldn’t keep him under long enough to get the shrapnel out without him coming to. Eventually -”

He sighs, looking truly exhausted. Haunted, even.

“Eventually we just had to do it and try to keep him as comfortable as possible. We couldn’t allow him to heal around the shrapnel.”

Sam feels sick, the thought of Bucky awake and in searing pain during surgery as the doctors tried to save his life making him want to throw up or cry.

“Jesus Christ,” he whispers, scrubbing a hand down his face.

They come to a stop on a quiet ward, the door in front of them closed and the blinds drawn.

“He’s stable now, and lucid,” the doctor says. He sighs. “He’s been refusing any more medication. But he’s going to be okay.”

“Thank you,” Sam shakes the doctor’s hand, trying to pour every ounce of gratitude he has into it. The doctor nods, clapping Sam on the shoulder before heading back down the hallway.

Sam let’s out a shaking breath before opening the door to the room. The lighting is soft and dim, the air cool. Bucky is -

Bucky is there, alive and whole, covered in blankets and IV lines. He’s pale and looks like shit, and Sam’s never seen anyone so beautiful in his entire fucking life.

“Took you long enough,” Bucky croaks, eyes barely open. “Had other people to visit?”

Sam can’t even bring himself to say anything, a wet laugh leaving his lips as he strides over to the bed. He sits carefully on the edge next to Bucky, hands hovering above his chest, his arms, his face. He doesn’t know where to start, what to touch, how to make sure this is real and Bucky is alive.

“Know I said I wanted you to talk less, but I didn’t mean it,” Bucky murmurs, grey blue eyes opening a bit more to look at Sam properly.

“You’re such an asshole,” Sam whispers, tears running into his smile. He runs his fingers gently through Bucky’s hair. “If you ever do that to me again, I’m going to kill you myself.”

Bucky smiles, carefully extricating his hand to grip Sam’s.

“Nah,” he murmurs, and it’s easy to see he’s exhausted, body worn out from healing. But he’s still smiling, eyes half lidded and looking up at Sam. “You love me.”

Sam huffs a laugh, shaking his head. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to Bucky’s forehead.

“God help me, I do,” he whispers, letting their foreheads rest together. “Now go to sleep. I’ll be here. Ain’t going nowhere.”

Bucky barely nods before he’s out, hand still in Sam’s and breathing steady.

Sam doesn’t move, just watches the steady rise and fall of Bucky’s chest. The sun eventually begins to rise, and Sam has never felt so damn lucky.