#omg i’m so proud of this fic i rlly hope you all like it

[butchyeons]

up in space

check it out on ao3!

najeonghyo poly domestic au (ft. ryeji). this fic focuses on jihyo, who’s a traveling nurse, coping with a patient she was really fond of’s passing. also she’s trans and futch bc i said so. jeongyeon and nayeon her emotional support butch and femme respectively. they are very in love!!

trigger warning for discussions of cancer and death. i also use the d slur once but not in a bad way?? if any of that bothers you feel free to skip this one! this fic is a heavy read, so pls be warned!

other tags: hurt/comfort, angst, implied sexual content/jokes, grieving, fluff, domestic stuff idk, discussions of being trans/taking estrogen shots

tysm for all the support on my fics so far! it rlly means a lot. hope you all enjoy- and let me know what you think! this au is rlly special to me and i’ll probably write more in the future bc i love them.

———

Losing a patient was never easy. But this time, it was so much different.

Jihyo did her best to focus on the road- on the long expansion of highway ahead of her. Each time she thought about it, more tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, just like how they had been for the past three days of her shift.

Jihyo wanted to blame it on the estrogen, like she always did. But after being on it for five years, there was only so much blame she could place on her shots. In the back of her mind she could hear Jeongyeon chuckling at her, could see Nayeon giving her that look of sympathy.

“Yah, Jihyo. After a while it becomes less of the hormones and more part of being a woman.” Jeongyeon had said over dinner one night, after Jihyo had spent her whole afternoon crying her eyes out about work. Again.

Jihyo thought that she really understood it now.

Yeji was a sweet girl. She had been in and out of the hospital for years, fighting leukemia. She was diagnosed at a young age, grew up with it. Jihyo met her when she was freshly 13. On the day of her 13th birthday, actually. Jihyo watched as her family- her mom, dad, older sister, and her best friend- brought her a cake and sang her happy birthday. She had one of the brightest smiles Jihyo had ever seen.

Jihyo traveled from hospital to hospital- it was her job to go where she was needed, to specialize in a little bit of everything when it came to pediatrics. But in all her time as a nurse, the hundreds of thousands of patients she saw, she had never found herself as attached to one as she did Hwang Yeji.

She always reminded Jihyo so much of herself. Of that scared little girl that had always lived deep inside her, even before her transition. How that scared little girl never gave up, no matter how bad it got.

When she noticed how that best friend of hers- Ryujin, that was the girl’s name- would stare at her like she put the sun in the sky, she knew. And when she noticed how tightly Yeji would hold Ryujin’s hand as she got the needle in her port changed, how Yeji practically clung to Ryujin during her nausea episodes, she knew.

It reminded her a lot of something she lived through.

The sight of Nayeon in her own hospital bed, her leg shattered, half sobbing as she got the news that she would never be able to walk without pain again- how she wouldn’t be able to return to teaching, effectively getting her passion stolen away in a single afternoon. Jeongyeon held her hand, her expression stern, her eyes never once leaving her wife’s face as the doctor explained the next steps- the surgeries, the physical therapy. Jihyo stood there too, on the other side of Nayeon’s bed, exhausted from having to speed halfway across the country at Jeongyeon’s call. She felt like her heart had broken into a million pieces, scattered in every direction by a wind so strong that she’d never be able to find them all again.

Jihyo had only been with them for a year, then. But when she looked at them, she saw an entire universe. She already knew both of them better than she knew herself. She already knew her specialties, the place she held in both of their lives- fitting in exactly where she needed to, when she needed to. She also already knew then that she would spend the rest of her days with them, if she could.

So when Yeji mentioned her girlfriend to Jihyo one day while she was fixing her IV, Jihyo smiled. She listened, like she always did. She told her she was happy for her, talked about her partners, too. How they were the same. How they had each other, no matter what. Yeji smiled back.

“I hope I can have that one day, too, Ms. Park.”

It was just shy of Yeji’s 16th birthday when Jihyo came back to find her bed empty. It had been a month and a half since Jihyo had been assigned to that hospital. The last time Jihyo spoke with her, they talked about school- how Ryujin had taken their soccer team to the national championships after one last tie-breaker goal in overtime. Yeji was sad she couldn’t be there. She wanted nothing more than to be with Ryujin, was what she told Jihyo.

When she was talking, she was falling asleep. She had been doing that more lately. Jihyo did her best to keep her awake as she changed the needle in her port, told her how good she was doing. Jihyo couldn’t help but notice that she looked so pale, how her vibrant smile had dimmed just slightly. She told Yeji to tell her parents that she said hi, to tell Ryujin congratulations and good luck. She said she couldn’t wait to see her again.

Jihyo gripped the steering wheel impossibly tighter. Her eyes stung, angry thorns of tears working their way up to the surface. She tried to focus on the road- the darkness making everything a bit harder to see. She needed to get glasses. She needed to get home. She needed to get to them.

———

It was nearly 2 am by the time Jihyo pulled into the driveway. The lights were still on in the house- clearly, they were still up. Jihyo mentally scolded them for staying awake for her. But the moment she walked up the steps, only for Jeongyeon to open the door before she could even get her keys out, she forgot all about it.

Jeongyeon didn’t say anything, just held her arms out. Jihyo stepped into them, dropping her backpack on the porch somewhere beside her. Her head found its usual spot- the junction between Jeongyeon’s neck and her shoulder, her nose pressed against the older woman’s pulse point. Jeongyeon just held her, like she always did.

Jeongyeon was all muscle- solid, heavy. She worked outside and it showed. She was rough around the edges, her fingertips worn like the sandpaper she used daily. Jihyo never felt safer than she did in Jeongyeon’s arms.

“Nayeon told me everything- baby, I’m so sorry.” Jeongyeon whispered, her lips brushing against the top of Jihyo’s head.

Jihyo couldn’t miss the way her voice cracked. That’s when she couldn’t hold her tears back anymore.

Jihyo didn’t say anything- she couldn’t, didn’t need to. She just cried. She cried the big, ugly tears she held back for the past three days. She pressed herself into Jeongyeon’s shoulder, her face contorted in pain as she let it all out. Jeongyeon just held her, swaying them both as they stood on the porch, underneath the singular dim light that Jihyo had been meaning to change.

Jihyo had been through so much. Her transition was rough- what she expected to be a casual step into womanhood felt more like a downward freefall with no parachute. She lost everything- her home, her family, her entire support system. But it all seemed so trivial compared to this. At the end of the day, she was breathing. No matter how far she fell, she had someone who could catch her. Two amazing people, actually. And they caught her every single time she fell- over and over again.

The other nurses told her Ryujin was there when she passed. They said they had to practically rip her body out of Ryujin’s arms. They had never seen someone so young but so full of love. Yeji had someone who caught her, too. Even if there was nothing left to catch.

Jihyo asked whatever God was listening to make sure that those two girls met again in the next life, and in every life afterwards. It was the least they deserved. The thought of those two never meeting again in this one made her sob even harder.

“I know, baby.” Jeongyeon whispered, her hand holding the back of Jihyo’s head to her chest, her other arm still wrapped securely around her waist. “I know.”

———

When Jihyo finally calmed down, Jeongyeon helped her inside. She left her in the living room, taking her backpack up to their room. Jihyo could only really stand there, swaying slightly as she stared at the ground- unstable without Jeongyeon to hold her up.

Nayeon, who had been sleeping on the couch snoring peacefully with her jaw half slack, finally stirred. Her eyes slowly opened, a smile forming on her lips as soon as she registered the figure in front of her to be Jihyo. She tried to sit up.

“Jih- ah!” She yelped as she shifted, her leg caught at an awkward angle from how she’d been laying.

At the sound, Jihyo came back down to earth. She quickly rushed to her side, helping her adjust. One of her arms supported Nayeon’s lower back, the other going under the backs of her knees. She helped lift Nayeon up to that she was sitting up straight, her legs out in front of her. She counted to three out loud, waiting for Nayeon to give her a nod, before shifting her again so that her back rested against the back of the couch, her feet on the floor in front of her.

“You really shouldn’t sleep like that, Nay…” Jihyo muttered, no real bite to her words, as she kissed Nayeon’s forehead.

“I know, I just wanted to see you.” Nayeon replied as Jihyo sat down beside her.

“I’ve told you not to stay up late for me.”

“Don’t care.”

“Nayeon-“

Jihyo was cut off as Nayeon pulled her in for a kiss. Their lips met softly, Nayeon’s hand cupping her cheek, helping angle Jihyo’s mouth better to meet hers.

If Jeongyeon was rock, Nayeon was fire. Jihyo always melted right into her. No amount of walls Jihyo had built up could ever resist the pure heat that radiated off of Nayeon. At first it was scary- she had never met someone who made her feel so vulnerable, open. But now the heat was welcomed- needed. It kept Jihyo alive. She wouldn’t want it any other way.

“There’s dinner in the fridge if you’re hungry.” Nayeon whispered as she pulled away, her hand still caressing Jihyo’s cheek. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. I ate on the way home earlier.” Jihyo whispered, her eyes closed. “I’ll have some for lunch tomorrow.”

The couch shifted behind Jihyo. She felt a familiar arm wrapping around her waist, steadying her.

“You better.” Jeongyeon whispered, her nose finding Jihyo’s neck. “She made it just for you- the pickiest eater I’ve ever met.”

Jihyo chuckled.

“You both signed up for my picky eating the night you picked me up at the bar.”

Jeongyeon huffed, pulling Jihyo’s back against her front. She pressed a kiss to Jihyo’s neck.

“And you’ve been a pain in the ass ever since. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.” Nayeon added, leaning in to kiss Jihyo again. “So much more.”

If Jeongyeon was the moon and Nayeon was the sun, Jihyo was the constellation that lay between the two of them. She needed them as much as they needed her.

“No fighting.”Jihyo whispered between kisses. “I’m too tired to deal with it.”

Nayeon chuckled as she pulled away, her thumb stroking Jihyo’s cheek.

“You started it.”

“Did not.” Jihyo said, smirking.

Before Nayeon could go back in for another kiss, Jeongyeon groaned. She pulled her face away from Jihyo’s neck, both of her arms still wrapped around the younger woman’s waist.

“Can we go to bed?” She asked.

Jihyo tilted her head back, resting fully against Jeongyeon’s front.

“You don’t even have work tomorrow.”

“I wanted to get some work done around the house.” Jeongyeon grunted.

Jihyo hummed.

“Can it wait a day?”

Jeongyeon huffed through her nose, pressing a kiss to the side of Jihyo’s head.

“Do you need a day?”

Whenever Jihyo had an exceptionally bad shift, she always needed a period of decompression. And usually that decompression consisted of laying around with her girls, watching mindless dramas or reality tv, and lots of kisses. And sex, too. But mainly the first three.

“I need a day.” Jihyo replied.

“You can take as much time as you need, Ji.” Nayeon said as she scooted herself closer. “I know how much you cared about her.”

Jihyo sighed, but smiled sadly. Her thoughts were racing still. It felt like an open wound directly on the center of her heart- everything kept bothering it. There was so much she wished she could’ve said or done. She didn’t even get to say goodbye.

“I love you both.” Was all Jihyo could say before the tears came back again.

———

None of them spoke anymore that night. They didn’t really need to. Jeongyeon helped Nayeon get up from the couch, her arm secured around her wife’s waist as she led her back to their bedroom. Jihyo followed behind them, sneaking off into to master bathroom after giving them both one last kiss.

She needed a shower- needed to wash the hospital smell out of her hair, to get the days of built up sweat off of her skin. She did her best to not think about it anymore- tried to focus on the things she could be doing instead, on what she had right in front of her. Her therapist told her she tended to dwell on the “what ifs”, which always blinded her from the “right nows”. And right then, she was home, safe. Surrounded by love.

She was so damn lucky to have them- to be loved by them. They saved her life, and she saved theirs. That’s how they worked. That’s how they would always work.

After she finished blowdrying her hair, too exhausted to do her sacred skincare routine, she slinked out of the bathroom. Nayeon was already asleep again- snoring loudly. Next to her, Jeongyeon was still looking at her phone. As soon as Jihyo got into her pajamas, she leaned over and turned the bedside lamp off. Jihyo crawled in between the two of them, doing her best to not jostle Nayeon, who just shifted slightly, her arm instinctively throwing itself over Jihyo’s waist in her sleep.

Jeongyeon adjusted herself so that Jihyo was resting her head on her chest, like always. Jeongyeon was warm- she got so warm when the three of them slept together that eventually she just opted to sleep in boxers and nothing else- but Jihyo needed it. Her body shivered a bit, still adjusting to the temperature shift from the bathroom. Somehow, Nayeon wiggled even closer to her, her arm getting even tighter as she was still snoring.

No matter what happened, Jeongyeon and Nayeon always kept Jihyo tied down, grounded. No matter how high up she floated, they always managed to pull her back in. They had a gravitational pull all of their own- the sun, moon, and stars all in one bed together.

“Love you.” Jihyo muttered, her eyes finally closing easily for the first time in days.

“Love you too. Always will.” Jeongyeon answered.

It didn’t take long at all for both of them to fall asleep.

———

The next time Jihyo worked at that hospital, the head nurse, Dahyun, stopped her.

“Hey, Jihyo. Someone came by and left this letter for you a few days ago.” She said, handing an envelope to her.

Jihyo raised her eyebrows, examining it. It was a yellow envelope, her name written on the front. It was held closed with a sticker of the smiling cat emoji. She thanked Dahyun as she folded it in half and placed it in one of the pockets of her scrubs, heading off to help another patient.

When she got to her lunch break, she finally got to check it. She sat in her car, her lunchbox out on the seat beside her. Inside, Nayeon had made sure to pack all of her favorites to last her for the few days she was gone, along with her usual handwritten note wishing her good luck (which was Jihyo’s favorite part of lunchtime). She picked out one of the sandwiches and a bag of chips before closing the bag back up.

She reached inside her pocket and pulled the envelope out. Jihyo carefully opened it, doing her best to not rip the cat sticker, taking out the letter that was inside. It was written on notebook paper in blue ink- the page covered in other tiny, scribbled drawings of cats. The handwriting was a bit messy, but still somehow neat- extremely unique. When she noticed the name at the top, Jihyo smiled.

Ms. Park,

This is Shin Ryujin. I’m not sure if you’ll remember me, but you took care of my girlfriend, Hwang Yeji, up until she passed. I wanted to write you this letter as a way of saying thank you. You helped her through some really hard times, without even knowing. Her parents weren’t really happy about us being together. Of course, they wouldn’t leave her, but they scolded me and her a lot. It sucked to have that on top of everything else.

But what didn’t suck was when you were there. You were a really good shoulder for her to lean on. She was always so happy telling me about you and your partners (wives? I hope you guys get married or something). You helped her accept a lot of herself. That helped me accept a lot of myself, too.

She wanted to be a nurse, just like you. She wanted to open her own hospital, eventually. All she ever thought about was helping others, no matter how sick she got. She even still tried to give blood when we did blood drives at school for her. She was the sweetest girl I had ever met. I think I’ll love her until the day I die. I hope you feel that way about your girls, too.

Even though there was nothing that could be done to prevent what happened, you really saved her life. You saved mine, too. Please, keep doing what you do. You really were a lifeline for two clueless lesbians, haha. Hopefully you’ll help more in the future. In fact, I know you will.

Thank you for everything. I can only hope to meet you again in the future. I’ll never forget you. I hope you never forget us.

- Shin Ryujin

P.S. We won the championship! Thank you for the well wishes. Yeji passed a few days after. I told her I’d win for her- and I did.

I think I’ll keep doing everything for her.

Attached to the letter was a picture of them. It was a selfie- Ryujin holding the phone up while Yeji smiled that same brilliant smile that Jihyo always knew. She was bundled up in a jacket, sweater, and a beanie, while Ryujin only had on a sweatshirt. They were at the beach- the ocean waves crashing onto the shore behind them. The bottom of the photo had a date written- February. Yeji had passed in late April.

It was a lot for Jihyo to read, to take in. She felt a pit form in her stomach- a black hole that would open up and swallow her. She set the letter and photo down, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She looked out at the side of the hospital building- trying to count the bricks on the side of the wall, trying to give herself something to keep her grounded.

It really wasn’t enough. She needed something stronger, needed her gravitational pull- she needed her universe.

Jihyo immediately pulled her phone out and called Jeongyeon. Really, her number was off limits except for emergencies. But she figured she would let this one slide. She quickly found Jeongyeon’s contact and pressed the call button.

The line rang a few times before someone picked up. Jihyo was met with the clear sounds of a jackhammer whirring in the background, along with men yelling at one another. And then there was Jeongyeon’s laugh.

“Mind your business- Seriously, Changbin. Get back to work- I’m your boss. I can do what I want. Shut up.” Jeongyeon yelled- clearly, one of her guys was up her ass about her taking a phone call.

After a few more moments of bickering over the sounds of heavy machinery, Jihyo listened as a door slammed- all the noises cutting out in an instant. She smiled when Jeongyeon huffed.

“This better be good, Park Jihyo.” She said, annoyed. But that act faded immediately, like it always did. “Are you okay?”

“Yah, Jeongyeon. I’m pregnant. It’s yours.” Jihyo said, grinning as she took a bite of her sandwich.

“I’m finally gonna be a dad?” Jeongyeon asked in that stupid, playful voice of hers, feigning excitement.

“Seems like it. Was daddy just not good enough for you?”

“Oh that’s never enough, baby. Need to actually get you-“

“Oh my god, Jeongyeon- shut up.” Jihyo said, cutting off the older woman, nearly choking on her food. “You’re so- god you can’t even- you’re disgusting!”

Jihyo sputtered over her words as she coughed. Jeongyeon just laughed. Typical.

“God- are you busy?” Jihyo asked once she was able to breathe.

“I’m at work, Hyo. Yes.”

“Well do you have a second?”

“For you.” Jeongyeon sighed. Jihyo could hear her smile through the phone. “What’s wrong? You never call at this time. Did something happen?”

“Well, no. But yes.” Jihyo answered, setting her food down to tap at her phone. “Wait. Let me add Nayeon- I need you both here for this.”

Jeongyeon hummed. Jihyo started the three-way call, the line ringing a few times before Nayeon picked up.

“Hi baby!” She said cheerfully. “Oh wait, you’re both here- did something happen? You never call at work.”

Despite their obvious differences, Jihyo thought it was almost comical how similar Jeongyeon and Nayeon were. Jihyo sighed, smiling down at the call screen.

“I got a letter today. I wanted you both to hear it.”

So, Jihyo read it out to them. By the end of the second read, she was fighting back her tears again. When she told them about the picture, it was nearly impossible to speak without her voice cracking.

It was the estrogen- had to be that. She just took her shot yesterday. That’s what she told herself. That’s why everything felt so heavy, why her voice fluttered between octaves, a bird angrily trying to claw its way out of a cage. The typical symptoms of second puberty- of womanhood.

Jeongyeon and Nayeon were both silent. A few moments passed before there was a sniffle on Jeongyeon’s end.

“Hyo, oh my god.”

Jihyo couldn’t hold back then. She grit her teeth, leaning back into her seat, her body trembling as she gripped her phone- trying to hold back the sobs. She gasped for air without meaning to. She wished she was home, wished she was between her sun and moon.

“You saved her life, Jihyo.” Nayeon whispered.

In Jihyo’s mind, all she saw was the night they met. She had never even been to a gay bar before- but she was down on her luck, needed to have a good time. She still felt like she was pretending, felt like she was dressing up as the idea of a woman. She needed to be around people like her. She had been taking her shots for a month then- living in her car as she traveled from hospital to hospital, praying her patients and coworkers would just be decent. Decency was found few and far between back then.

She was just about to call it a night when a couple came up to her. They asked for her name, asked if she lived in town- said they’d remember seeing a pretty face like hers. When she explained she was just in for a few days before she took off on call again, they asked if she’d like to go home with them- to stay for the night, to have some fun. And how could Jihyo deny the most gorgeous butch and femme she had ever seen of anything, especially after they bought her a drink and showered her in compliments. And then the one night stay turned into a permanent residence, into stability. Decency turned into real, genuine love.

A whole ocean of people were in that bar that night, but somehow the tides pulled them towards each other. She wasn’t even trying to be seen- wanted to let the waves just take her where they felt. But every day she thanks whatever divine being blessed her with the lifeboat that was Yoo Jeongyeon and Im Nayeon, how they pulled her on board and allowed her a spot in their crew. She had her life saved. And more importantly, she got to keep doing the same for others because of it.

“E-Even if she didn’t make it, you saved her.” Nayeon said, clearly choked up on her own tears. “Both of them.”

Jihyo nodded. She had finally calmed down. She stared at the half eaten sandwich, sitting haphazardly in her lap.

“I saw so much of myself in her.” She muttered. “I saw so much of us in both of them. She deserved so much more than she got. Both of them did.”

There was a moment of silence again. The black hole in the pit of Jihyo’s stomach was gone.

“You’re really amazing, Jihyo.” Jeongyeon said, her voice distant. “I don’t even have the words.”

Jihyo let out a huff, smiling. She could feel the floorboard of her car underneath her feet, registered the texture of her shirt as she brushed some breadcrumbs away. Back down on earth.

“You two are biased.”

Both of them made noises of protest, which crackled over the speakers of her phone.

“So what if I am?” Nayeon asked. “You’re one of the most selfless people on this planet. I’m lucky to have you- Jeongyeon and I both are.”

“I will say it until my last breath and mean it every single time-” Jeongyeon cut in. “You are amazing, Park Jihyo. God. You are a life saver- literally.”

Jihyo leaned back in her seat, finally taking another bite of her sandwich. There was no point in arguing with them- that’s how it always was. But their words helped her feel real again. She felt like a human being by their sides.

“Fine. Whatever you say.”

“We wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true, and you know that.” Nayeon said softly.

Jihyo smiled, her face still wet from her tears. Her speakers vibrated when Jeongyeon chuckled, sniffling again.

“God- you call me at work and make me cry. The guys will never let me live this one down.”

Jihyo rolled her eyes, wiping up the last remnants of her emotions with the sleeve of her undershirt.

“So what? They’ll never understand what it’s like to be a woman. Not like we do, anyways.”

Nayeon hummed in agreement, her sweet, bunny-toothed smile clear as day over the phone. Jihyo wished she could see it. Jeongyeon laughed- that bubbly, staggered laugh that Jihyo absolutely adored.

“You’re damn right they won’t.” Jeongyeon said firmly.

———

From that day forward, Jihyo kept the letter and picture in her glovebox. She got over it the best she could- she had to. She knew better than to dwell on it for too long, to spend too much time thinking about the “what ifs”.

But when she was having an exceptionally rough shift, she looked at them. When she was mentally beating herself to a pulp, telling herself how she needed to be better, she thought about them. When she broke herself down to her barest, most raw essentials, examining every part of herself thoroughly before putting it all back together, she reminded herself that there was a point. She had to keep going. If not for herself, for other people. She had people to help, lives to save.

If Ryujin could keep going, she could, too. She had someone to fight for- and so did Jihyo. She had two people.

She was back home, snuggled inbetween Jeongyeon and Nayeon in their bed that was so clearly not made to fit all three of them. Her back was pressed as close as it ever could be to Jeongyeon’s front as Nayeon kissed her, their noses bumping into one another from the weird angle. It made Jihyo giggle, made Nayeon smile even harder. Jeongyeon pressed a kiss to the back of Jihyo’s head.

“Would you two love birds cut it out so I can sleep?” She mumbled, her voice muffled by Jihyo’s hair.

“You’re off tomorrow.” Nayeon said bluntly between more kisses.

Jeongyeon groaned. “I have to get the light on the porch fixed.”

Jihyo eyed Nayeon, who gave her one last kiss, before shifting so that she faced Jeongyeon. Nayeon’s arms replaced Jeongyeon’s easily, finding their usual spot at Jihyo’s waist.

“It’s not that hard to change a lightbulb, baby.” Jihyo whispered as she took Jeongyeon’s face in her hands, her thumbs circling the apples of her cheeks. “I think you’re just getting worn out.”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes, pursing her lips into that signature annoyed smile she always did.

“It’s because of you two.”

Jihyo smirked, Nayeon made an annoyed sound somewhere behind her. She pulled Jeongyeon in for a kiss- deep, but soft. Their lips moved the same way they always had, always would. When Jihyo felt Jeongyeon’s tongue swipe against her lower lip, she shifted again- sitting up to straddle the older woman’s hips, her hands finding her bare chest- never breaking their kiss. Of course, Jeongyeon was already shirtless, heat radiating off of her tanned skin from how closely the three of them were pressed together. Nayeon moved closer, clinging to her wife, her mouth finding its way to Jeongyeon’s collarbone. When Jeongyeon whimpered, Jihyo finally pulled away.

“You love it though, really.” She said, smirking. Her grip tightened, earning another small sound of need.

The sight of Jeongyeon underneath her, of Nayeon holding onto her as if she’d slip away would never fail to make Jihyo feel like she was in heaven. The way their bodies moved together, how natural it all felt- Jihyo was the luckiest person in the entire world. Her whole universe squeezed onto a king sized mattress; the sun, moon, and stars all contained in three tired, old dykes.

Jihyo rolled her eyes. Nayeon pressed a kiss to Jeongyeon’s cheek. Jeongyeon just smiled.

“I do.”

———

Jihyo stepped down from the ladder, wiping the sweat off her brow that had formed in the brief time it took for her to switch out the old lightbulb on the porch. It was the dead of summer now- the sun baring down its rays angrily, warming everything up to what felt like a boiling point.

Beside her, Nayeon sat in one of the chairs, in sunglasses with her favorite sundress on, three glasses of fresh lemonade on the table next to her. Her legs were propped up on the wicker footrest they bought after her accident. A random piece of white wood furniture among all the black metal. It didn’t match the set, but it worked. Jihyo always thought it was funny that she could relate to a footrest.

“She’s still got it in her, doesn’t she?” Nayeon asked, referring to their third half.

Jihyo turned, watching as Jeongyeon fought to turn their push mower on. She gave the chord a few more good pulls, trying her damnedest to get it started. That thing had been giving her hell for the past few weeks- it was on its last leg, needed to be replaced the moment they got it. But the three of them were stubborn, wanted to get their money’s worth out of the 20 year old hunk of metal that they bought used at a garage sale. All ₩40,000 worth.

“I’m more so concerned about why you feel the need to babysit.” Jihyo said, sitting down in the chair beside Nayeon’s.

She took a good look at Nayeon- at the way her bottom lip poked out, pouting as she judged her wife. She pushed her sunglasses up on her head, revealing those beautiful, round eyes. Her face scrunched from the sunlight, her nose crinkling. Jihyo thought she was the prettiest person to have ever existed.

“There’s a masc shortage, sweetheart.” Nayeon said, shifting to get her glass of lemonade off the table. She took a sip. “I can’t have anyone trying to steal her from us.”

Jihyo chuckled. She watched as Jeongyeon finally gave up, letting out an annoyed groan as she kicked the side of the lawnmower. As if by magic, the machine whirred to life. Jeongyeon let out her excited squawks, jumping around it in a circle with her arms up before turning to look up at them on the porch, a giant grin plastered on her face, adorned by those beautiful crescent moon eyes.

Jihyo waved, smiling back. Nayeon clapped beside her, cheering. Jeongyeon took a bow before adjusting herself and cheerfully flexing her biceps- putting on a show for her two favorite girls, as always. Nayeon whistled, and Jihyo rolled her eyes, laughing. She looked like an idiot. Jihyo loved her more than words would ever describe.

“I don’t think anyone besides us wants her that badly, Nay.” Jihyo huffed out, taking a sip of her drink.

“I’d sure hope so.” Nayeon said, looking over at her. “I’m selfish. No one deserves her more than we do. I don’t wanna share.”

Jihyo shared the same sentiment, but didn’t say it. She sat back on her seat, watching as Jeongyeon finally got to mowing the grass- sweat already ruining the muscle shirt that clung to her torso. She glanced over at Nayeon again, who was smiling so brightly, laughing as she watched Jeongyeon do her best to maneuver that piece of junk around the front yard, pulling her sunglasses back down over her eyes.

These were her people. They were her reason for existing, for continuing to exist. They made life seem so simple- so perfect. She had something to fight for that was real, tangible. She was so lucky to have this, to have them. To have them share themselves with her, to lay everything about themselves out on the table for her. Over and over, they shared everything. Jihyo never knew she could have this much love for more than one person- she never knew soulmates could be a trio until she met them.

“I’m gonna go get dinner started. Wanted to make kimchi stew for you.” Nayeon said. “Help me up?”

Jihyo set her drink down. Wordlessly she got up, going over to Nayeon’s side, taking her empty cup from her. She lifted Nayeon’s ankles up and off the footrest, gently setting her feet down on the ground. She moved to wrap her arm around Nayeon’s waist, counted to three, waited for Nayeon’s approval, before hoisting her up. They stood there for a moment, ignoring the heat, pressed as close together as they possibly could be.

“Thank you, baby.” Nayeon said softly, pulling Jihyo in for a kiss.

“It’s not a problem, Nay. You know that.” Jihyo said, smiling as Nayeon pulled away.

“I know.” Nayeon whispered, tapping Jihyo’s cheek a few times with her fingers. “But can’t a girl say thank you to her emotional support futch every once in a while?”

Jihyo snorted.

“I guess she can. Especially when you say it so sweetly.”

She helped Nayeon get inside along with their empty cups, her arm never leaving the older woman’s waist until they made it to the kitchen. Nayeon insisted she could handle it from there. And really, Jihyo knew she could, but the worry would never leave. She had come a long way since the accident- her body bounced back shockingly well. She just needed a little help getting started still, and Jihyo was more than happy to provide it.

After a few more kisses and some filthy comments about what they’d be doing later from Nayeon, Jihyo went back out to check on Jeongyeon. The lawnmower had finally given out, but thankfully Jeongyeon had just finished the yard. She was sitting on the steps, slamming the glass of lemonade that Nayeon had left behind for her.

“You good, Jeong?” Jihyo asked, her arms crossed as she stood behind her.

Jeongyeon finished the glass, grinning from ear to ear as she tilted her head back to look up at Jihyo.

“Never been better, Hyo.”

Jihyo rolled her eyes and helped pull her up. Jeongyeon stretched her arms out, her back cracking loudly. It made both of them laugh. Jeongyeon took the opportunity to pull Jihyo into one of her bear hugs.

“God- Jeongyeon- you’re so sweaty.” Jihyo protested. Her arms wrapped right around Jeongyeon’s waist, her head finding its spot on her shoulder. “Get off of me.”

“You love it though. Can’t get enough of it.” Jeongyeon teased, pressing a kiss to Jihyo’s temple.

“Shut up.” Jihyo hissed, finally pulling away. “Go take a shower.”

Jihyo went back into the house and Jeongyeon followed her. While Jihyo stopped to take her shoes off, Jeongyeon got right behind her, landing a smack on her ass and causing her to yelp.

“C’mon baby. You wouldn’t be complaining about it if I took you right here- you love it that much.” Jeongyeon said, smirking mischievously before running off, back to their bedroom.

“Shut up!” Jihyo yelled, regaining her balance. “Oh my god. You and Nayeon are so nasty! No decorum around here.”

“Wouldn’t be fun if we had any, and you know it.” Nayeon said, peeking her head out from the kitchen. She had her usual grin on her face.

Jihyo rolled her eyes. She walked back to the kitchen and rejoined her partner, helping Nayeon prep the ingredients for the stew. After a bit, Jeongyeon finally came back down- freshly showered, her short, wet hair messy from where she lazily towel dried it. As Jihyo was cutting up pieces of tofu, she watched Jeongyeon walk up behind Nayeon, her arms wrapping around her waist.

Jihyo smiled at the sight of the two of them. Nayeon smiled, leaning back against her wife, whispering something up to her that Jihyo couldn’t quite catch. Jeongyeon just chuckled, her nose pressing into Nayeon’s hair.

She couldn’t help but think about them again- about the life they could’ve had together. She couldn’t help but see a future for them every time she passed by that hospital room. The way Yeji would speak and Ryujin would just listen, smiling. How Ryujin would hold Yeji’s hand the entire time. They deserved something good more than anyone else. She was happy they had each other until the end.

She could only hope to have a love like that. Well, she didn’t really need to hope for it- she had it. It was already right in front of her, their force of gravity pulling her in over and over again.

[seoafin]

i was rereading chapter 5 of dog days are over and fuck man i just love it so much ik we are all excited for the smut but these chapters before are what make the smut all the more worth it!!! if it was just straight sex without building up their relationship and their dynamic it would fall so flat for me but the way you freaking write geto and his flat smiles and his measured tone of voice anytime he’s slightly displaced or wants to manipulate ripmc to stay longer or eat more food🥺🥺🥺🥺 my heart flutters u can rlly see the cult leader coming in my pookie and my heart starts hurting so muchhhhh have u felt like that when you read a rlly good fic? like ur heart is weightier than before and u can just feel it in ur chest and you’re so nervous but fluttery and geniunly fucking shy as hell too…..or do i just have heart problems omg. when geto asked ripmc if the food wasn’t tasty in front of the waitress to get ripmc to eat while he was ordering drinks my pussy fluttered when gojo said put it all on my card too omg MY MAN RIGHT THERE how do u think of scenes like that scenes that are just so fuckinh them like scenes that until you write them i wouldn’t even think about but then i read them and i’m like fuck yeah geto would not even just geto gojo too and his indiscernible looks i can literally visualize him sitting there with his glasses looking at you and i can feel the weight of his stareeeeew gojo asking for more kisses when yours and getos lasts a second longer i love them so much omg. especially when she’s all like guys let’s keep this a secret and they’re all like ……….fine🤨 JSJWKWKKS so pls take all the time in the world you need to not get to the smut i’ll love the smut but i love these kinda scenes even more. also take some time for yourself to decompress and relax!!! i just love the way ripmc fits seamlessly between the two so bad omg she’s literally their missing piece i’m gonna fucking sob. can i ask? is she gonna tell geto and gojo about the mission that went rlly bad? do they know already🧍🏻‍♀️? omg imagine if they find out nanami knew before them?? also do you think there’s anything ripmc could do to get them genuinely mad and angry cause i was thinking of gojos “you cheatin on me” which btw i literally could imagine him saying those exact words and it was teasing so it made me think do they actually care about cheating? like have they had actual fights about it before geto n gojo? and what would they do if like ugh thsi is so angsty i’m sorry i’m on my period🧍🏻‍♀️but how would they react if like ripmc cheated on them? like a kiss or smt? would they be hurt because their trust was broken or would they be hurt because they think ripmc is theirs? BTW THIS SO MAKES IT SOUND LIKE I CHEATED AND IM JUST SELF INSERTING AS RIPMC I SWEAR I JUST THINK ITS INTERESTING TO THINK ABOUT THE SADDEST OF SCENARIOS IF UR UNCOMFY ANSWERING FEEL FREE TO IGNORE PLS!!!!!! anywaysssss i rllly fucking love ur writing so much and i hope you’re having a blast in japan you deserve it❤️‍🩹 i’m so excited and proud for not being like scared to go after what u want u too omg❤️❤️

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU!!!!! can I just say that I LOVE writing geto and his subtle cult leader tendencies in the poly au like YES gaslight gatekeep girlboss (but in moderation lmfao) It's really the small moments where you could think that yeah...this is a guy that totally went off the rails and started a cult lmfao...he keeps his manipulative tendencies but channels them into forcing ripmc to take care of herself and [redacted] he's so awful I love him truly!!!!!

niku also brought up stsg knowing spoiler alert......they know and they definitely aren't happy she talked about it with nanami instead of them. they wanted her to tell them of her own volition, so expect the mission to come back up again in a later chapter lol also for all of ripmc's many faults I genuinely think she can do no bad in their eyes. if she did something it's justified unless it's directly impacted her health as in she put herself in danger and got grievously injured. I can definitely see them getting actually upset and angry with her for that but if anything the repercussions are more like....ripmc being stuck in a room for a week and getting coddled to death until stsg deem it enough 😭

It's not that stsg care about cheating it's more the fact that they are very secure in their relationship with each other and aren't worried about it. gojo might occasionally be annoyed and even pissed when they're arguing about geto being popular but it's never that serious. on the other hand ripmc.... 😭😭 ripmc would never cheat on them and they know it but she's also the most likely to entertain flirtations without knowing someone is flirting with her. when stsg jokingly flirt with another person they're always in control of the situation. they know which lines shouldn't be crossed. they use it as a means to purposefully get the other jealous. sometimes they try to make ripmc jealous and it backfires! another thing is the fact that because the line between lover and friend is so blurred in regards to stsg she doesn't quite understand that there are certain things that only a "boyfriend" gets to do to her which further translates to her not having any sense of boundaries with other people just like she doesn't have any sense of boundaries with stsg. obviously stsg wouldn't be happy about that 💀 if ripmc kissed someone else they probably approached her and asked if they could and she just said yes bc she couldn't find a reason to say no dhjsnfjsndb anyway they'd be more peeved than anything and they'd make it a point to make sure nothing like that ever happens again [ominous]

ANYWAY yeahhhhhhhhh I just think about geto a disproportionate amount aka so much it's unhealthy I'm so obsessed with him

[lewkwoodnco]

✨ appreciation post! ✨

I feel SOOO BAD but I really love and appreciate every single comment/review y’all give on my posts!!!! It’s just that sometimes they’re replies so I can’t respond to them 😭 but I absolutely adore and am so very grateful for every single comment, including but not limited to:

@novelizt my first reviewer/commenter…if no one got me I know YOU GOT ME 😭😭 no cuz you’re such a literal Ray of sunshine and I feel sooo deeply honoured to catch the attention of a writer as good as you?? And reviews so detailed and quoting lines and everything?? You brighten my whole day, my whole week and you’re so consistent like I could not ask for a supporter more dedicated than you from the very beginning!!!!!!! Ily and your writing so so much and I swear once I get more time your fics better WATCH OUT

@rambles-fanfic-trove Omg I’m soso honoured that you enjoy my writing!! Like I can’t believe words that my crummy lil brain thought of could actually make another person physically feeeel things and you’re so sweet, thank you so much for taking the time to write it out and everything!!! 🫶

@willupleaseebequiet + @liesmultixxx I hope this doesn’t sound too intrusive cuz I don’t know y’all 😭 but omg the way y’all were discussing/recommending my fic like it was some polished impressive piece and damnnn that weirdly touched me idk how to say it? :”) and I’m so glad you liked that ‘Shakespearean-adjacent’ line, I’m rlly proud of it!! Both of y’all were so sweet and adorableee tysmmm 💕

@mentallyillsodapop the way you’ve been tearing into my fics 🥹 Im so glad you enjoy them so much and I rlly appreciate all your love and comments!! 🫶

@everysinglepersonwhorebloggedmyicanseeyouficandTAGGEDITASAFICREC stopppp yall are way too nice 😭😭😭

@superpositvecloudshipper AHH thank youuu for your likes and comment it was so sweet!!! I’m so so glad you liked those fics and you really made my day!!!

I know it’s kind of so extra to do this all at once in like a huge post but I’m sooo bad at remembering to do it otherwise and I just wanted y’all to know how much your kind words really mean to me! 🥹🫶 here’s to exchanging more writing/yelling into the void tgt in the future 💃

[bookinit02]

7, 14, 27 ??

hi overdue!! hope ur doing well🫶🏼🫶🏼

7. how many ideas for fics do you have rn?

oh man. too many to count😭 i’m alwayssss coming up with new stuff and i stg about 1% of it will actually be written!! currently i have abt 20 fic ideas written down😅 and plenty more in my head!!

14. if you could see one of your fics adapted into visual media, which one would you pick?

omg!!!!! this is literally my favorite question on this list, so i’m so happy u asked it🥳 right off the bat, my first thought is baby, we’re perfect. i would LOVEEEE to see bwp as an actual episode! or even just a little short, or a drawing, or a film, or genuinely anything😭 it’s so so vivid in my head and it would be so cool to see it visually! i think king of my heart would also be a really good one, or falling like the stars—just bc i would LOVEEEEE to see a rendition of the elmax star scene🥺🫶🏼

27. is there a fic that you were nervous to post/share? why?

ooh, this is a really good question. honestly, my gut reaction was if i only had a heart, which is the christmas fic where mike runs away from home. i think i was just going through a lot that day/week/month and put all my frustration into it, and i honestly wasn’t even gonna post it at all😭 it was. definitely very obvious to anyone that knew me what was going on, and i literally still consider deleting it sometimes? but it is up. for now. and idk maybe it’s not as bad as it is in my head lol! i’m also nervous abt rlly important rewrite chapters, like the shed scene and the van scene! i’m usually pretty proud of how they turn out, but it’s still a lot of pressure😅

thank u for the ask!!! love u lots💗💗🫂

[kidflashimpulse]

Hey! I wanted to ask this anonymously first before I embarrassed myself but I just started my first young justice blog and I really need some help coming up with fic ideas, with writing, with a lot of stuff I'm a complete mess, an I was wondering if it's not much trouble, could I get some help?

Hey :)) omg that’s so exciting! looking forward to checking out ur blog :D just saying in advance to hopefully squash any worries and to scale expectations, i’m not the best person with communication and can take a while to respond to messages (also sorry bout the slight delay with answering this one, i do hope u see it i can’t remember if anon questions notifies the sender 😭). I cant guarantee being the most helpful person either but i’d be happy to try to help where/if i can :)

in terms of general advice for fics/writing which i think tbh is the best one (that i use to try to motivate myself to write for fics) is to just start writing! like literally anything, as soon as u feel like even a second of inspiration or motivation just go with the flow. Whether it’s one sentence, a paragraph or 1000 words lol, just putting words on a page is a great start already. It doesn’t need to be perfect at all, my first fic (unposted) ended up being long with multiple chapters and all the writing throughout was so questionable lol but i was and still am so proud of it! It gave me experience and the learning curve was inspiring that i was excited to try to write even more stuff after. I noticed with each chapter i slowly found a rhythm and improved step by step. Even if it’s just tiny things that u learn, it makes all the difference. You 100% learn as u go, even now whenever i post something i’m like damn i could make a million changes or be annoyed/critical at something but ultimately i’m just happy to have posted something to share with others and contribute a little something to a community of people who share the same interests as me :) and that’s rlly all that matters and as u start doing that u can develop more ideas and “what ifs” to explore i.e more fic ideas etc

in terms of structure for working on fics id say it rlly depends on the individual. for me i usually write a rough outline/summary of what the fic is basically about. I usually try to have key details summarised where they all connect until the end of the fic, so that after that’s done, u can then flesh out the individual chapters or paragraphs out better. But things like plot can also really change whilst ur writing! It all boils down to what inspires u to write.

It’s not bad to have no ideas, i think it’s actually super cool for people to start out with a really simple/basic prompt (maybe something like: oh flash family go to a restaurant or zetaflash go to an arcade or outsiders play board games (lol)) something like that and then u can expand on the story with dialog/events/characterisation/description that really fills it up and makes up the chunkier part of the fic where it almost at times feels like it writes itself.

also fics really doesn’t need to be long at all if that’s something u might find intimidating, my stuff tends to be quite wordy because that’s just how i write (as u can see from most of my ask answers where i just go on and on like can i shut up for once? lmfao) if anything, i admire people who can get points/description/stories across through concise writing or short stories! that’s a real impressive skill too

if u want to start writing fics to post, 100% start writing anything, literally anything and eventually u will manage to figure out ur own workflow/style that suits u best :) i’m 100% still learning too, i mean i have yet to finish a multi chapter fic, but by reminding myself that any writing is a good step somewhere, despite the slow progress, i can still be motivated to keep working on it. i hope these general tips managed to help u somewhat 🙏 again rlly looking forward to checking out ur blog <3

[utahimeow]

CHAR SDABFASDF literally i just messaged u the other day abt one of my fics and here i am AGAIN omg hsgbhajs u always catch me when i'm doing the rounds but also this is rlly just cos u r so incredibly supportive of my writing i am SOBBING 😭🥹💕

i just read ur tags on both 'too good to be mine' and 'so this is what it means...' and !!! oh my god first: i am so sorry for the angst in 'too good to be mine' sahdbgsahdj i was so sad writing that 😭 but i am so glad u liked it!!! (sniffle sniffle sob sob)

second!! ur tags in 'so this is what it means...' I AM CRYING!! RN !! FOR REAL !!! WTAF 😭 that line!! oh my god i am so glad u like it bc it made me tingle too writing it asdbgsj & the photos!! the photo!!! oh my god i was actually in such a Mood writing that, i feel like i was possessed or smth fr sdbgdsj to say that i write grief so beautifully, oh god i can only aspire to char 🤧 it's such a delicate topic i'm so glad you see it that way (seriously so so so flattered) 🥺

you're so cute writing all ur fave scenes UGH i love it !!! I LOVE YOU !!! and he is completely whipped u are so right im so glad u felt that 😭 & the angst scene... omg i had such a hard time writing that i was in a Hole for a few days writing that bc i was so sad.... FR 😭 i'm glad it translated into the writing but also so sorry it made u feel like that 😭

you!! are for real!! just!!! flattering me so much char!! showering me with all these nice things about my writing!!! it's such a compliment coming from you I AM SNIFFLING 😭 thank you thank you thank YOU for reading my stuff??? omg ?? ik it takes up a lot of time 😭 and for u to even write tags like this oh god 😭😭 i love u !!!!!

sel i hope u know i’m not a fan of the angst genre but when u write it. u make soooo worth it because you just do it SO WELL. i love ur writing voice/style so much, like it’s not complex but it’s still so detailed? and it just hits so hard, sometimes i read a line and my jaw just drops because you’re such a genius. truly reading this fic series has just felt like it was me watching u flex ur talent and i’m HERE FOR IT !! reading every piece has been such a treat and i know i keep saying this but u really should be so proud of urself for writing something so beautiful and emotional, love u sm n im so excited to read more

[jayflrt]

HELLO ALICEEEE MY BEAUTIFUL BABYYYYYYY IT'S MEEE 💛💛💛💛 wedding anon ....

WTFFF U GRADUATED?????? IM SO SO SOOO MADD PROUD OF U WTFF and omg i saw ur reply to my anon thingy a while ago omg.. i genuinely hope u enjoy with ur hometown friends that u missed 😕😕 LAWDDDD this is so Wierd to Say but i actually am soo proud of u like for real.. my silly pookie bear..

life update from my side 😁😁😁😁 i moved into the girls dormitory now like recently ish AND OH MY GODDD SO MUCH HAPPENED IT'S INSANE but godbless my roommates...

i will Now be elaborating 😁😁

so basically there's this girl (not one of my roommates) like from another dorm (calling her #2 dorm) right and we're like kind of friends but not really cause idk it's just off with her but i like brushed it off RIGHT but it's okay because most of the time my gut is like wrong so i move on

ok so as i moved in etc etc i noticed i was losing stuff and i thought i was just careless with some stuff right??? but i kept on losing stuff like my lipbalms and other things and it was so creepy so i asked my roommates about it and one of my roommate who's a senior had a doubt on the #2 dorm and tbh i got suspicious too..? so i was like randomly talking to her and i ask her if she has my lipstick that i lent to her (i never even did that because i fucking hate sharing makeup and skin care products) and she was like "yeah i have it back at my room" MOTHERFUCKER??????? GODDD I GOT SOO MAD PISSED LIKE WHAT DO U MEAN U HAVE IT WITH U?????? SO I TOLD HER ILL TAKE IT IN THE EVENING AND SHE WAS LIKE OK!! and i told my roomie about it (the senior) right and she's so perfect i tell u ...

ok so i go to her room to get it and fucking hell i actually saw some of my stuff lying around and then i told her that i never gave it to her right and holy shit u should've actually seen her SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO DENY IT WTFFF

moving on 🙏🏻🙏🏻 my roomie was with me when i went to take my shit right AND SHE FUCKING MANAGED TO LOCK HER OUT OF HER ROOM ?????? and i finally found the missing stuff it's actually insane

but yes that's what happened recently 😁❤️

ok but aside from that i genuinely hope ur taking care and also omg i've been reading ur new heeseung fic oh stoners... (Love) i fucking love how he's so pathetic actually he's my spiritual Heir.. ur actually so insane to think of shit like that like ur humour needs to be studied like i need to be neuron in ur head to understand how ur so fucking funny to come up with shit like that ..

OK CONTINUATION i really really hope ur ok like our 3 year parasocial relationship has been soo strong... take care my beloved 💛💛 and i genuinely hope all good things come to u my angel ur the intrusive thought at the back of my head actually... 🤍🤍 kidding i love u and stay happy lovie <3

(sorry it's too long 😕)

- wedding anon

HELLOOOO WEDDING ANON 🥰💖 always a pleasure to see you in the ask box !! i hope you’re doing well and that life’s treating you good 🥹

also yes i’ve graduated!!!! IT FEELS GOOD THANK YOU :’) i’m really so happy to hear the words “im proud of u” u have no idea ☹️💖🫶 and honestly i was feeling eh about moving back but i’ve been having so much fun with my friends here <33

I HOPE MOVING IN WENT SMOOTHLY !! ALSO TEA?? 🤭 WAIT. NOT TEA. STRAIGHT UP THEFT??? OH MY GOD?:??/??:? wait no yeah what the hell??? 😭 why is she taking your stuff without asking?? and i feel like it’s worse to take makeup bc people don’t like sharing their makeup with people they don’t want using it :// like it’s stuff that goes on ur face u don’t wanna mix that idk ,, but WTF SHE HAD MULTIPLE ITEMS OF YOURS??:? she is a klepto omg you gotta RUN 😭😭 i hope everything’s okay with her as in you’ve dropped her or she’s stopped !! but i’m glad you managed to get your stuff back :’)

AHAHHA omg thank you for reading my smau love, i’m rlly glad you like it bc it’s been so fun to make 🤩 PLEASEE i just think of stuff at random and write them in a notes app to save for later in the smau but now the notes app is getting smaller 😭😭

the 3 year parasocial relationship HAS been strong omg you’re an og…. 💪 but i hope you’re having fun and taking care wedding anon 🥰🥰 fill me in whenever you want and no need to apologize at all for living ur life !!! 🌷🌷

[tyonfs]

alice!!! it’s been a while but i just caught up with meant to break which actually was such a rollercoaster of emotions like u actually had me giggling and screaming into my pillow 🤣🤣😭

i also found ur enha blog which actually changed my life ngl… finding that blog had me going thru deja vu like the immediate attraction i felt to ur writing 😳😳 proud to say i’m still the #1 slut for ur writing and that it’s so amazing seeing how far your blog(s) and you have come :’))

i hope you’ve been staying well and i’m sooo stoked for another jaemin fic from u!! i think i’m actually gonna bawl once i finish reading it since a) i LOVEEE a good slow burn and b) it rlly feels like the end of a chapter idk i’m just feelin sentimentAL out here HAHAHA but yeah sorry for the long ass ask LMAO tldr ILY AND STAY WELL MY LOVE 💗💗💗

hello hello !! <3 how have you been?? 🥰 omg thank you for reading meant to break, im rlly glad you liked it! it was a little hard writing a fic with a very serious tone that's set in the past but im glad it paid off well :')

OMGG you found jayflrt 🥲 AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH im really glad you liked my fics over there!! there's definitely a lot more horror on that blog, even if it's just a few fics HAHAH but i reallyy wanna write more for enha 🤧 i'll get to it eventually hahahah but that means a lot tysm!! 💖 its amazing to me too how far these blogs have come :o when i look at my masterlists im like wowww i wrote so much

but yesyes i've been doing pretty well!! i hope you have been too ♡ AHH IM SO EXCITED SLASH TERRIFIED TO END THIS SERIES but also completely ready HAHAH but im rlly excited to hear what you think when it's out!! also dont apologize for the ask im quite happy to read it all 😌😌 but hope you have a wonderful day/night love !! 💘

[jemmo]

my sister watches bad buddy - ep 3

- omg look at his gay lil high school crush

- ‘that wasn’t a smile’ he says… smiling

- pran at the noodle shop like ‘rlly hope I’m I don’t run into that guy I mounted 10 seconds ago’

- omg the back and forth, the bickering, the domesticity of it all

- there’s an innuendo I could make about a chopstick fight but this is too cute to ruin

- pran wanna be that dumpling

- it’s a date! he paid, that means it’s a date!

- pat: let’s race pran: pls you’re so childish also pran: cheats to get a head start

- his lil floppy flops!!

- dw pran, pat will resort to underhand tactics to beat you

- his lil pouty lips!! he’s such a dick!!!

- STOP FUCKING FLIRTING

- can the man pls not be so lovesick, it’s putting me off my chicken

- fucking ok wai, what did the chair do to you??

- i could really do with a moral compass like pa. i need to be called out on my shit too

- oof. i felt when he dropped that can

- pat being the least subtle stalker ever

- pran grabbing pat by the shirt like ‘ may be mad but at least now I can fulfil my dream of pushing this man against a wall’

- noooooo don’t say that, he looks so sad *pat smirks* scratch that, I should’ve known, he’s evil

- pat trying to get back into pran’s good books like “you know you’d miss me if I wasn’t annoying you”

- me and pat have the same level of self-confidence except his is deserved and mine is delusional

- “you think I want to be this close” no in fact he wants to be closer

- pran’s longing stare is rlly stinking up that lift

- it’s like when someone farts in a lift and everyone’s looking around for the culprit except it’s just strangers looking at each other like ‘do you see those gays gaying over there’

- you ever plaster your whole body against your buddy for *jokes*

- can they stop with all the dog talk, it’s like they’re asking for a furry fic

- sniff him! sniff him! SNIFF HIM!

- and pran nutted right there

- he just wants to hang out! don’t be mean! he dressed up so hot for you!

- i will never cave so easy *gets called babe* I have caved

- pat malewife confirmed!!!!

- pat is on crack for this, how dare he

- i’m not against public sex, and pat was so mountable in that scene

- pat in this ep is just like *shouts aggressively* no I will be your knight in shining armour!

- pat might be a himbo but he can still manipulate his fellow himbos to do his bidding

- knock on the door already gay boy!!

- he’s reaching out! I’m so proud!

- omg can he stop tho. he’s too good, I actually hate it. stop being a good boy

- *physically convulsed and squealed bc of the way pat looked at pran*

- pran stop lusting so hard this is a public hallway!

- he a happy boi!!!!!

(ep 1) (ep 2)

+ if you miss my rants, heres a lil footnote

just wanted to add this bc me and my sister usually chat after the ep and she said something about how ep 3 is just pat trying to make pran happy, and trying to do good things for him, but them never working or pran always seeing the bad, and them not even being his fault but pat just trying to make things right. and then when everything’s settled, he rights something by giving pran his guitar back and finally he turns the door hanger and pat has made him happy! 

i just never thought of ep 3 like this, but it’s so cute. the way that none of it is his fault, the bus stop or the rebuild or the expenses, but bc the responsibility is put on pran, and pran kinda puts the blame on pat as a form of defence and bc it’s maybe easier to get mad at him than at the real guilty people, pat takes it upon himself to fix things. bc pat wouldn’t have done any of this normally, but bc it inconveniences pran and makes him sad, he has to do it. he’s not forced, he does it off his own back. and it’s almost like this healing cycle, bc it’s like pran knows he can blame pat bc pat will fix things, bc pat can put it right for him, it’s a way pran can take all the burden put on him and put it on someone else and have it looked after and dealt with. unlike every other negative force in his life, here he can be mad about something and see someone actually try to right it. no one else does that for him, not his parents or his friends. he’s mad at the situation but it’s like he knows voicing that won’t make them change. but here, pat changes, pat goes to the effort of doing this for him, where pran feels like no one else would. i just think that’s so good. 

and it’s the same with the guitar, it’s not pats fault, but bc pran has to take the fall, pat takes it upon himself to put things right and return it. getting mad at his mom won’t give him any catharsis bc she won’t apologise, but getting mad at pat, he will apologise, he will try to make up for it. and I just rlly like that pat is this way for pran to see that there’s good in the world, there’s ppl that want to do stuff for him, that his anger is valid and that ppl want to make him feel better. instead of always being responsible for other peoples feelings, someone else can be responsible for his. and i just know if Pat had seen him turn that door hanger he would’ve jumped for joy bc finally he made pran happy, that’s all he ever wants

[ichorai]

i just wanna say thank you to every single one of you !! the mutuals i talk to, the ppl i see on my dashboard, the ppl who like my fics / posts, and the 3.7k that follow me omg :(( i love yall sm i rlly dont deserve you guys

2021 may not be the blessing that all of us want, but we can try to survive through it together !! pls pls pls stay safe and healthy and my messages + inbox are always open for anybody who wants to talk or just needs a friend ♡

tumblr crushes.  everybody listed below are all the blogs i’ve had massive crushes on (dkjdf im rlly exposing myself huh) bolded are the crushes that follow me back aka my moots !! whether we talk every day or not at all, i love all of u sm :3

# - e ; 

@127-mile​, @1oserjk​, @3riberri​, @4-sun, @429hj, @99yh, @9uk, @aasthrielle, @agustdiv1ne, @angeliicmin, @angelinanamoo, @annawritesnct, @army-author, @ashisparanoid, @asteriaguk, @atbzkingdom, @ateez-little-star, @ateez-svt, @ateezinmymind, @ateezsunrise, @ateezthings, @atiny-ahgase, @atiny-baby, @atinybitofau, @atinybrew, @atinyfeels, @atinykidult, @atzgiggle, @aurorhwa, @ayyysweetcreature, @baehyukng, @baekhvuns, @baekhyunl, @baekonbaek, @baekwell--tart, @bangtantaegi, @barsformars, @beyond-gethsemane, @binnies, @blueish-sun, @bluelotuss, @bluemiinn, @bluumin, @brathyuck, @burgerkang000, @btsbed, @bubyjong, @butterflyjoong, @by-moonflower, @byeoltoyuki, @c-sanshine, @call-me-bha, @canyounotkaia, @cappujinho, @cchaiart, @ceojongho, @ceruleanskies, @chanbinns, @changsun, @cherryatiny, @cherryhan1386, @cherryjk, @chimtaera, @chittsu, @choi-san, @choijongho, @choisans, @chryzu, @cinanamon, @cinnaminsvga, @closer-stars, @cometoceantrenches, @cosmoguk, @cozyjae, @cozyteez, @crustypeppermintcookie, @crvgio, @cuddlyunho, @curanonemu, @daybreakx, @dazzlingkai, @ddaenysus, @ddalgi-yong, @dear-hao, @dearncityy, @dearyongs, @dejvns, @diaryofateez, @dis-easy, @djxiao, @dreamiehrs, @dreamiesdotcom, @dreamingxuxi, @dreamtaehyung, @dylanxmin, @eggyukhei, @elcie-chxn, @emhpathy, @ephemeralkookie, @essenteez, @eternalbulletproof, @ethaeriyeol

f - j ; @faerieth, @fakeleaves, @fandomsonrequests, @feverishdreamdistrict, @fleurateez, @flirtyhyuck, @flowerboyyoonbin, @flowerkth, @flowerseok, @floweryjh, @flvtteringpetals, @foreveryouaremystar, @fortunexkookie, @fqiryaurora, @gaylligator, @gowonhatesyou, @grxceblqckthxrn, @gukssunshine, @guktro, @gukwluv, @gukyi, @gyukult, @haine13, @halahala, @halahalaatme, @hanatiny, @hanavbara, @haotheheckk, @heartyyjeno, @heavenlyhongjoong, @heeseungluvs, @heterotragedies, @hobidreams, @honeybeedaydreams, @honeytae, @hongcultz, @hongism, @hopejanaee, @hoseoksyn, @hoshees, @hquackity, @httpknjoon, @hunjins, @hwaberrykiwi, @hwaddict, @hwanami, @hwaseongsbabie, @hwastreasure, @hyuckles-chuckles, @hyucktapes, @illicit-roses, @imlikechaitea, @imoonstarstuff, @inclebtsmix, @inkigayeo, @interstellix, @jaehyuked, @jaehywn, @jaemericano, @jaeminslatte, @jaeminsorbit, @jamaisjoons, @jamaiswoo, @jamaisvujjk, @jayehope, @jcngkooks, @jcngyeol, @jenojam, @jensungf, @jeogiyall, @jeong-uwu, @jeongyunhoed, @jeonqqin, @jeonsdear, @jeonsweetpea, @jimindelune, @jimineos, @jimlvb, @jinmindeulle, @jinned, @jisungshotfirst, @jjeongukie, @jjoon, @joenns, @johnni, @jonghours, @joonghwas, @jooniescupcakes, @joonsgalore, @joonsinnerchild, @juliaseongjoong, @junghelioseok, @jungkookiebus, @jungkxook, @jungshookz, @junstruly, @justrose-things, @jwyfldr

k - o ; @k-n-e-o, @kayabred, @kim-taehyung, @kimchitae, @kimnjss, @kimtaehyunq, @kingjoong, @kireiwoo, @kitsutaes, @kittae, @knjspjm, @kodabodaa, @kookiesjoonies, @kookiestarlight, @kookmint, @kpophoneybunny, @kqtiny, @kyung-seokie, @kyuscafe, @lafaussejoie, @lavenderkoo, @leebutnot, @leeknowism, @lettersfromaphrodite, @lettersfrompersephonae, @lightgreybg, @lilacwoo, @lostcherryjk, @loveablejeekies, @lovedsweet, @lovely-ateez, @lovelygalaxy333-writes, @lovsoul, @lunarmingi, @luvsjoon, @lvrbun, @lybomb, @m24sail, @mapofbts, @markftmingi, @may-tree, @meiiyue, @melodiamore, @mhirais, @midnightseonghwa, @milkbts, @milkyoonoh, @minflix, @minghaon, @mingi-theestallion, @mingkiii, @mingtopiaa, @minihongjoong, @minsugams, @mintyguk, @minyoongail, @mismatchmark, @mistymark, @mjlkau, @mmmhs, @mmoondance, @monotape, @moonblssm, @moongaera, @moonguk, @moonlightzone, @moonlitmyg, @mountainhearts, @mountainsluna, @ms-starlight, @nakamoto, @namgination, @namkooks, @naryfial, @neo-shitty, @neocitybynight, @neptune-xuxi, @nevio, @nose-bandaid, @nvmguk, @oceanofaurora, @ofcyunho, @oksws, @omot7, @onceatinymoo, @orphicepiphany, @osakkun, @ot7always, @park-seonghwa

p - t ; @peachjaem00, @peaches-writes, @personasintro, @petitemingi, @phattestuwu, @philosopher-of-fandoms, @pinktea99, @pinkyyunho, @pjimns, @pjmsdior, @prdshobi, @punkill, @queereightiesheartthrob, @riajae, @rookiegukie, @rosy-wooyoung, @royaltypark, @saksukei, @san-hwa, @sanhwaflower, @sannieboy, @sanstar, @santastic, @seacottons, @seiiblue, @seokstrivia, @seonghwanotes, @seongwhy, @seongsangies, @seonqwha, @serendipityseulgi, @serendipityunho, @serenityswords-main, @seungyoune, @shangri-woo, @she, @shuhuas, @sichengsbimbo, @sillyseoks, @simphwa, @simpsiren, @sketchguk, @skymoonandstardust, @sleepingrenjun, @sleepyateez, @sleepyjhs, @sleepyyangyang, @smallfrye, @smileysuh, @smoochkooks, @snackhobi, @softjeon, @softyoongina, @solarmingi, @soleilees, @songteez, @spacejaems, @sparklingchan, @starlightjoong, @starryseung, @starsuh, @straypatchkids, @strayssara, @stressed-asian, @stutterfly, @sugarboyuto, @sugarjaee, @sugaxjpg, @sungchans, @sunkissedjk, @superhajimark, @taehyungsjuicybooty, @taeilmeyourw1sh, @taelepathysroom, @taemines, @taerseok, @taeyongleee, @talkbykhalid, @tbhchoi, @tearvantae, @teeniemoarmy, @tenaciousinferno, @tenseoyong, @teote, @thanxxskz​, @the-marionettes-locket​, @the-star-named-dowoon​, @the-wonandonly​, @thespadesinyourhearts​, @thorsdreams​, @timetoresurface​, @tiniesan​, @tinylaelia​, @toffee-hwa​, @treasure-hwa​, @treasurehobi​, @tsukuyomes​, @tvfff​, @twdeadfanfic​

u - z ; @uayv​, @userguk​, @utopianvoices​, @v-hope​, @vante-love​, @vanxbb​, @venusjinnie​, @viastro​, @wabisaba​, @waiyv​, @warmau​, @whimsical-ness​, @wincore​, @wintertae​, @wonglix​, @woojjongs​, @wooyunhwa​, @writearctic​, @wuuyoung​, @xherxx​, @xiaocity​, @xjoonchildx​, @xsandjenos​, @xuxi-rolls​, @yeochikin​, @yeoldontknow​, @yeoldotcom​, @yeosangscupid​, @yeostars​, @yeosvng​, @yessidzuiichi​, @yooaliceee​, @yoondoze​, @yoongicrumbs​, @yoongs-jeontae​, @yoonia​, @yoonohho​, @yunhoiseyecandy​, @yunhoway​, @yunhowhoitiss​, @yuniixoxo​

follower count + note ; 3.7k ???? why are yall following me omg kdjdkfjd thank you :(( the amount of love i hold for you guys is immeasurable !! a lot of yall tell me that you’re too scared to talk to me but pls do !! i dont bite i swear !! i love making friends here ! and im sorry for not replying to all of your asks :// sometimes i like to keep them private for my eyes but i swear i read every single one !! thank you again and have a great new year !

following count ; 1.3k lmaoo my dashboard is constantly flooded and sometimes it’s really hectic but fr thank you all for filling my tumblr with happiness and positivity with the occasional thirst trap for a kpop idol rip

2020 fics + upcoming in 2021 recapping all of the fics i wrote this year + lil comments / behind the scenes

- read to me ; kim namjoon ; may 23 - an accident ; johnny seo ; may 23 - chocolates ; jung jaehyun ; may 23 - flash drive ; lee donghyuck ; may 23 - rain ; jeon jungkook ; may 25 - flirts (but no kisses) ; park seonghwa ; may 29

i wrote all of the fics above as part of a short drabble game i made to get out of my writers block !! they weren’t my best works, but i got around 70 requests omg and i only wrote out the first six rip :(( i wanted to write more but i just needed a break for my mental health and couldn’t continue on so i’m sorry to those who requested and didn’t get a fic :(

- rivers over stones ; jeon jungkook ; sept. 12 this huge monster of a fic was what got me out of my writers’ block !! tbh i expected the fic to get like.... 20 notes but it ended up getting far past 3.5k omg thank you so much for all the praise for this fic, it took sooo long for this fic to get out too smh, i can’t believe it was still received so well !!! fyi i read every single review / reblog tags bcs i love reading what yall think :D 

- the day bled away ; park seonghwa ; oct. 16 i wrote this after catching up to the good doctor and i was just in the mood for angst and the idea of hwa being a doctor lol

- mr. sad piano man ; min yoongi ; oct. 29 more fluffy soft angst !! i love writing this genre, especially for yoongi and i’m happy this one was received well !!!

- birthday waffles ; min yoongi ; nov. 14 i was just so soft for yoongi and i wanted to write more for him !! so i made this soft / angsty fic that i’m not particularly proud of, but i’m still glad it’s out there bcs it was sitting in my draft doc for sooo long

- cellmates ; one ; two ; three ; jung wooyoung ; oct. 19 - dec. 23 this is my baby :(( my first long original series !! i’m sooooo excited for this fic to progress and i’m so happy you guys like it as well :3 i love making yall suffer lmaoo 

coming soon in 2021... - future parts of cellmates - king!taehyung x mage!reader (21k written / estimated 40k) - fire!seonghwa x ice!reader (5k written / estimated 20k) - lots and lots more !!!

check out m.list + wips for more info.

final note.

thank you all :(( i really don’t have any words to say left so pls just stay safe and have a happy new year !!! my inbox and messages are always open !

[natigail]

WOO congrats on finishing pedia!! 🥳🎉 like i can’t believe pedia has been a thing for a couple years now, and that you managed to accomplish so much every time :’) the way you’re able to do a lot of writing and editing for a bunch of different stories, while dealing with real-life things, is incredible and super inspiring!! and 182K words is an amazinggg feat omg, big kudos to you 👏👏

and a very big thank you for taking on the pedia challenge again this year!! pedia is SUCH a gem and it’s something that rlly makes my augusts That much more enjoyable, and i’m so thankful for you continuing to share your works!! (and i’m still not over how you gifted a wonderful story to me aahhh like it rlly makes my brain go ‘!!!’ whenever i remember that it exists, and i’m forever thankful!!). i hope you enjoy this break before you get on the writing train again, and thanks again for pedia!! <333

Ahh, Christine, thank you so much for this ask and the congratulations! It really was a hard month this time around (it always seems to be) but I was so proud of accomplishing it again, and I do love my little tradition. It kicks my butt but I get some kick-ass fics out of it, so I guess it all evens out.

The fact that you've been around for several PEDIAs now and that they can help improve your August is absolutely so wild and cool. I love that so damn much. And I'm so glad you liked the fic I gifted to you as well, it was seriously my pleasure.

I got ill immediately after PEDIA ended, not sure if there's any correlation, but it has certainly forced me to slow down. I've also decided to knock 500 words off my daily writing goal for September, so it's "only" 1.5k a day, and I can hopefully chill out with it a bit more. I do still feel the best when I'm writing but slowing down and not rushing to meet posting deadlines is very nice.

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[scoopsgf]

Firstly, I'm in LOVE with my your roryjess fic. I went through all 11 pages of the tag on ao3, and I'm rereading your fic for, like the 3rd time. Friggin glorious. Secondly, during my current reread, I have a Notes page open so I can write down every book mentioned as a TBR list. Thirdly, I'm also looking up every music artist/band mentioned and listening to them while reading. PJ Harvey and Stone Roses are EVERYTHING. And I really liked that Pernice Brothers song, too! (The Shaggs was a bust for me, I just don't have Lane's taste. But Pavement is good!!) When I actually recognize a song, I feel inordinately proud of myself, like, oh thank goodness. This fictional character would like me!! 🤣

(2/2) Still thirsty for roryjess so I've been lurking here and I just saw that TDALR is going to have a SEQUEL? I JUST reread that today and I was satisfied that's a good ending would I like more but it's okay it stopped there--then I saw part 2 is already written I'm VIBRATING. I'm DYING. I am no longer satisfied because there's MORE!?!?!?! THIS WEEKEND? iamsoblessedinthistheyearofourlord2022

omfg first of all i love you. second of all, i can’t even imagine what a truly monstrous task compiling all of those book/music titles must be. it’s something i’ve been meaning to do myself but just haven’t had the time for so literally kudos to you for that. also YES pj harvey is my everything <333 and IKIK i’m so so excited to post the tdalr sequel in a couple of days!!!! rlly hoping u guys like it omg 🥹

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[jayflrt]

Heyy, I'm back. How are you ? It's been some time since my last ask. This one's going to be a bit long :)

First and foremost, diamond league ??? This smau has me giggling like a school girl. Where do you get unhinged ideas from. Please teach me miss, your humour is just chef's kiss :))

Also, i finished up with my school, yayy !! Got a 94% overall, and a perfect 100/100 in psychology. I also scored a 96/100 in english, which apparently hard to get considering all the writing skills part.

And finally, i took a major decison, which was to take a gap year. It has been amazing till now, and i hope it stays that way :)) During this gap year, I'll be prepping up for the medical exam of my country, it is one of the toughest exams to clear due to the number of people who sit for it. My teachers are very confident that I'll be able to clear it with a top rank, I'm honestly just hoping for the best.

I would really like to sayyy a big thank you, for writing your spiderman jake fic - I'll save you (again). That fic was my major source of comfort during my exam days as well as the time during which i was taking some vv important life decisons. Honestly, that particular story became such a source of happiness and a means of a escape for me during that tough time. I mean people usually think fic writing is for fun. But Honestly, you people and your fics are such a source of comfort and they do have an impact on people's life. So thank you again, for writing story that i now call my safe place </3

Also, I got into svt recently :)) and f1 as well. And i celebrated my birthday in another city !! My parents surprised me with a birthday trip and since we loved the place so much the trip got extended by 7 days ?? we went through 3 different cities in a span of 15 days :))

Also, i would love to know How are you doing, How's your job ?

Have an amazing day/night ahead 🌻

- 🌿

OMG hihi 🌿 anon !!! how have u been?? 🥰💖 it’s been so long HAHAH i hope you’ve been taking care <3

AHHH IM GLAD UR LIKING DIAMOND LEAGUE :’) thank you sm for checking it out! i’m sure you’ve been busy so that means a lot 🤧🤧 ALSO CONGRATS WOOOO 94% is an amazing score great job!!! 💝💝 omg the psychology major in me is BUZZING so proud of u for that 100/100 :’)) and congrats on english as well!! it can be tricky so that’s such an accomplishment <33

a gap year is a great choice !! :o i hope you have a fulfilling one 🥰 sometimes i wish i took a gap year tbh HAHAH but omg med exams are brutal but i wish you all the best !! i’m sure you’ll do golden >:) and oh my gosh i didn’t realize my jake fic helped you out that much 😭😭💖💖 that makes me so happy omg thank you sm for reading it and i’m rlly glad it was able to provide you some comfort !! i rlly loved writing that fic so it makes me so incredibly grateful to see you enjoying it so much :’) THIS MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK PLS im so honored that my writing had that much of an impact :(( it rlly touches my heart and i’m so happy to provide that kind of space for you ♡

AHHH SVT 🥳🥳🥳 i love them omg i’ve been binging gose again lately HAHAH who are your biases?? :o also a bday trip sounds so fun! i hope you had a great time 💗💗 it sounds like you had fun even tho you had to buckle down and study sometimes !! :’) i hope you’re having a great day/night btw 🥰

also i’ve been doing pretty good !! my internship’s wrapping up so i’m just tying up loose ends and putting together the last work i have for this week 🤧 i’ve also been gaming a lot LMFAO (rip my 102 hours on omori) hbu?? :o

[tyonfs]

guess who 🤩

bro stop fight club was so good !!! gentle fighter fits jeno so well you're so smart for this one !! i fell to my KNEES everytime he asked for consent 😵😵 the fact that you had y/n fighting and not just the dreamies omg !!! i love how it was open ended too although y/n definitely kicked jenos ass 🙄 and their relationship :''') that was so cute :'') i love an accidental relationship like that i definitely sobbed while reading 🤕 pls everything about fight club was amazing ill probably reread it later 😭💗

-meatball (i feel like im breaking a law using that name here PLS 😭😭)

MEATBALL ANON !! 🥰🥰💗💗 omg it’s so funny and different to see you on my other blog HAHHA but >:))

AND PLS IM SO HONORED YOU READ FIGHT CLUB 🙇‍♀️ i had to reflect lee jeno’s duality in a fic yk :’)) just like how he’s so different on stage, i just made the ring his stage <3 AHHH YES TBH IT WAS GIVING ME FEELS AS I WAS WRITING 🤧💘 i feel like i write a lot of meet-uglys but they’re so fun to turn into smthn rlly cute and fluffy 🥰 and (i like to think mc kicked his ass at the end too) BUT i could see it going either way so it’s left up to interpretation HAHAH but i’m sure jeno is very proud of mc either way 🤩 and pls the fact that you consider reading all 11.9k words again makes me sooo happy 😭😭 BUT TY FOR READING BAE AND HOPE YOURE DOING WELL ♡