#or can you maybe think critically and ask yourself why they exist and what they're fighting for

[flagellant]

How To Be Native American: Five Tips To Acknowledging The Indian In You!

Wonder why you're writing this. Debate with yourself about the form and the function. By making a performance out of your criticism of the inherent performativity of being a white-passing Native, is that denying or adding to the power imbalance that actually white people already have over your life, your identity, your culture? Ponder blood quantum for the seventh time today and really just sit down and ask yourself, "Is this going to be the metaphor that justifies my existence within my culture to white strangers online?" Accept it probably won't be and write this inadvisably anyway. They weren't ever going to get it anyway, but for once, this isn't about them.

Do your research! Take your knowledge and academize it. If you can't cite your sources when you try and explain why this privilege is killing you, are you really a victim of genocide? Or are you just 1/16th Cherokee Princess? FUN FACT: So many people are "Pretendians" that anthropological scholars are trying to examine the psychology behind why! You know why, of course. They feel so alienated from their culture as settlers that they cling to whatever they can, like mud on a duck's bill, steadily reshaping Turtle Island in their image. Remember that by criticizing Pretendians you simply give people more reason to assume you're one. Pretend this is fine.

Read Braiding Sweetgrass again. It won't help, but the words are familiar enough by this point that you can start the grief process a full three chapters ahead of the words you're thinking in your head. Wonder if this is all you'll ever get to have: Stories of dead grandmothers and dead strawberries and dead nations, bones piled upon bones with none of the nitrogen fixing jack shit. Think about how you have never gotten to braid sweetgrass with someone who understands who and what you are. Reread the last few sentences because your tears have blurred the ink so badly at this point it's like trying to be fluent in a language no one will teach you.

Brush your hair out, because you have gingery ringlets rather than sleek, thick flint. Your name is Red Fox Jesus Man and you've only got a little bit of a complex about it. Think about how, when people claim you look like Jesus, they aren't talking about the Middle Eastern Jew, they're talking about the Italian. You aren't even a little bit fucking Italian. Microaggressions are a form of racial validation, right? Especially if they aren't intended to be, right?

Light a candle for your dead grandfather. None of his stories got passed down onto you or your mother or your father. Maybe none of your great-great-grandfather's stories got passed down to him either. This is a comfort, in a selfish, self-destructive way. If you don't know the names of the teachers in the Mission your people were sent to, that is a sort of pyrrhic victory. Not a meaningful one, but scraps will fill your stomach if you settle for enough of them.

[sniffanimal]

General Dos and Don'ts for commenting on art on Tumblr:

1. tags can and will be seen by the artist so if you wouldn't say it to their face dont say it in the tags. it may not be intuitive that tags aren't just organizational or for yourself, they are public! And the artist will see the tags in the notification for the reblog. Also, avoid playful rudeness like "This is so good I'm gonna kill you" or "I hate this so much I'm gonna eat it!!" unless you're already friends with the artist. DO: leave kind comments in the tags and keep rudeness, critique, and criticism to yourself!

2. don't compare the art to any other artist unsolicited. this is rude because generally speaking artists don't particularly like being compared to other artists, even if it seems like a compliment to you. It can come across as saying they seem derivative or unoriginal, or that the other artist is way 'better' than them so it should be good to be compared to them when you're accidentally creating a hierarchy. Intent is very hard to communicate in tags and also even having good intentions can be miscommunicated. It's best to avoid comparison altogether DO: talk about the elements of the art you like without comparison!

3. don't compare someone's OC to an existing person/character. Like above, it isn't a compliment as it comes across as saying they're unoriginal, or that the enjoyment of that art comes from your enjoyment of the existing character and not the artists OC. DO: compliment the character design without comparing it to another character.

4. don't give critique or criticism unsolicited. it's very rare an artist will ask their audience for no-holds-barred critique. comments about what is ugly, not working, can be fixed, etc should be kept to yourself. critique can be helpful in learning settings and when directly asked for! but unless you're explicitly told to comment on changes for the art, like if you're a commission client or critique group, don't! DO: talk about what works, what is done well, or don't say anything about the composition at all!

5. don't say "I usually hate XYZ but this is cool!" If an artist did something/drew something, odds are they like the thing! And odds are also that their friends all like the thing too, so by saying you don't like it, you're insulting the artists interests. I think it's generally fine to say "I don't go here/I haven't watched this yet/etc" since those are fairly neutral and personally I like introducing people to things they might not know about! DO: keep your negative opinions about elements of the art or source material to yourself

6. take care when asking questions. I have seen people offer critique or comparison in the form of a question in a way that feels rude or accusatory. Things like "Did you mean to draw the legs too long?" or "Why did you copy glup shitto?" don't come from a place of conversation. If you have a burning question, think about how to ask it in a way that opens the door to a discussion. "Can you show me how you sketch bodies?" or "What are some of your biggest inspirations?" can get you the same answers with more empathy and less hostility. DO: be careful with asking questions, be nice!

7. lastly DO: tip artists, Reblog their stuff not just like it, sub to their Patreon, follow them on other social media, buy their merch, commission them, and interact with them! put the social in social media (just respect boundaries!)

These are surely personal opinions, and maybe some artists like comments that I've suggested you avoid, but from general opinions from other artists this seems to be generally accepted advice!

[damnfandomproblems]

[*Note: I don't follow this blog but rather just search the username whenever I wanna get my fix so this response is being sent in kinda late into the conversation]

https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/781555734732259328/fandom-problem-8473-theres-this-idea-going?source=share

"There’s this idea going around that criticizing fan works is inherently bad because the fandom artists worked sooooo hard on it for free and it’s rubbing me the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong, I agree we shouldn’t bully and harass fic authors and need to keep our criticism constructive, but if we swear off ANY negativity towards fics whatsoever no one will get better which is especially bad for those who write fics prepare for writing novels."

Okay, but what makes you or any other nonprofessional fanfic critiquer think you know how to effectively critique/constructive criticism? What makes you think your unprofessional advice (or more often then not, judgment) would actually approve the writers skill?

Critique exists to do the following:

Build up the subject by focusing on solutions, not break it down by just mention faults or personal grievances without any way to fix them.

To help the WRITER improve their work into what THEY want it to be, not what YOU would prefer it to be.

And by criticizing the hobbist work of writers who aren't looking to improve but to just have fun, you aren't actually doing anything of vaule. You're just being a jerk who thinks they're special enough to cast judgment on free hobbist work and essentially telling people "well, Susan, I know the cookies you brought to this book club were something you did for fun and that I don't have to eat if them if I don't want to, but they could really be improved. Maybe less chocolate chips next time, m'kay?" and then patting yourself on the back for it.

And when writers do ask for criticism, never once have I seen a critisizer openly admit "hey, I never been taught on how to give unbiased and proper critique, so take this with a grain a salt, but here's what I think you could improve on and how you could go about improving it" they always just assume that anything they have to say is worth saying and that they never need to tell writers how to improve just that they need to. Even if their whole critique is just the story not being what they wanted it to be and basically telling the writer to stop writing what to write and to instead write what the critiquer wants.

I can count on half a hand how many fic critiquers I have both seen around and personally interacted with who were good enough at what they do to put their own wants and biases aside to help the writer achieve their own goals and improvement separate from their (critiquer's) own preferences.

Also OP, you seeing critique as something negative people are trying to swear off rather then as something neutral or even positive tells me you most likely aren't good at giving critique and should tell you why most writers don't care critiquers in general in the fandomsphere. Because again, critique is suppose to aim to build up and improve a work, not tear it down. If you or anyone else are being negative in your critique, it isn't really critique, it's complaining dressed up in spiffy suit. If you can't deliver critique in a neutral or even positive way, then you shouldn't be critiquing because you're building anything up but rather just trying to tear it down.

TLDR; fan critiquers tend to be shit at critique and fail to actually critique and rather just complain and that is why writers don't really care for any of your bullshit. Also, it's a hobby that is never going to be anything more then a hobby for that vast majority of us anyways do critique is fundamentally useless to us. Let us bake our goddamn cookies (write) in peace, you don't eat (read) them if you don't like and won't appreciate them for what they are.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[this-is-krikkit]

hello Kit

i just read 'mouthy' and i can tell you that you made my evening with this fic <3 thank you for writing such good and sweet t4t levihan

this truth and dare game sounds fun! how about 🍓 🛼 🍄 (maybe for erurihan?) 🍅 🐝 🎨 ?

i hope it's not too much though... (❀ˆᴗˆ)

oooh Victoria thank you!! i'm very happy you liked it 🥹🥹 thanks for letting me know ♥️🥰😘

-> wanna play writer's truth and dare with me?

🍓how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

well, i started writing when i was huh...... ten i think? and i wrote fanfiction back then, i just did not know what it was (and definitely didn't post it hahaha). i got into it on purpose when i got into my first online fandom, through discussing ideas with other fans and reading their fave fics!

🛼 describe your latest wip with five emojis

hummmm let's see. i think this is the wip i'm closest to posting right now (when i get a minute to work on it ughh):

🏢🪽💢🚬💑

🍄 share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

for erurihan as you asked: i like to think they took FOREVER to get together, not because they're a tryad, not because they're busy af in canonverse or any AU i imagine them in, but because they're, all three of them, the absolute fucking worst motherfuckers alive. hange is oblivious as fuck, levi's sure both of his crushes are unrequited, and erwin's the most repressed asshole on earth who took one look at his own feelings and went "NOPE" and closed that door (or did he?)

writing them is painful in fics when they aren't established (which i know i haven't shared any of those actually sorry for the tease lmao), but it's also very Them x)

🍅 give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

sure!! here goes my one biggest criticism i give myself each and every day: i don't think i'm very good at conveying intentions when it's not like with one strong line of dialogue or one crucial point in the fic. i feel like a lot of my fics are... unbalanced in that way, as a result?with strong moments that i love to reread that make me feel stuff (and hopefully my readers too), and "filler" moments that i cringe at without fail each time bc im like, dude did you even try?? so, i need to work on breaching that gap of quality i feel exists within most of my fics... i'm just not very sure how.

also, sometimes i try to be funny, and when i reread my stuff, i realize smth i thought was hilarious at the time of posting is actually pretty lame. so i should either stop trying to be funny, or get better at it x)

🐝 tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

honestly, anyone who comments on my fics or leave me any kind of feedback and people who send prompts, all of you i consider a huge support and i thank you all so much for it!! ♥️♥️

now i do have to mention @nube55 as not so much my biggest supporter, but definitely the #1 victim of my overly enthusiastic ass and the dozens of new wips i come up with in a week's time 😁😁 honey (yes ���� that's right), you're always happy to listen to my ideas and chime in, so just know i love you and how much support we give each other (in fandom things and others 💜)

🎨 link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

i can't actually do that as my all time levihan fave art was shared through dms and i was told not to post it publicly! but this one is another one of my faves, here (don't thank me, just give op some love!!):

[libraford]

Photo studio is on my mind because this is when school starts gearing up again.

Yes, I was a little argumentative because when instructions are given to me in a confusing or inconsistent manner, I push back. Because it is often that my memory is my worst enemy, so when I am in the habit of writing things down and double checking my notes to make sure- it is somewhat crazy-making to be told that both my memory and my guiding resources are incorrect.

But I also got push-back: not only when I asked for accommodations for my memory problems, but when I suggested that I could make my own accommodations where none were available to me.

"If you think that I require more guidance, then I think it's not a bad idea to have me come in with the beginners to brush up on training week" was met with "No returning photographers ever come back for training- it's just not done." "But things change every season, and we'll be having a whole new system soon- I don't want to be working with outdated info." "Nothing has changed in the ten years I've been here!" "They changed the starting light settings just last year." "No, that was before you worked here." "Obviously it was not."

"You need to be better about taking criticism. You always seem to fight back during reviews." "I find some of the critique and training suggestions to be lacking in tact." "I will tell the supervisor to provide more concise criticism." "Tactful...I asked for tact."

"Some of the photographers are unhappy about their pay rate and I think a cost of living increase might encourage people to stay." "You're the highest paid non-salary in the company- why are you asking for a raise?" "...I was asking it on their behalf." "Well, they can ask me themselves." "They felt more comfortable asking me." "Why wouldn't they ask me themselves?" "You see how this conversation is going so far."

"If your problem isn't about the quality of the photos but the fact that I go too fast, then maybe I should have a minute timer to make sure I'm giving them the full 60 seconds." "No, do not put yourself on a timer." "Why not?" "You should know how to use the full minute properly by now and shouldn't need a timer." "I have time-blindness. Youre saying I can't self-advocate?" "That's not what I said." "Then how can I make sure we're going at the proper pace without a cue to help me know how much time has passed?" "You should know how long a minute is by now."

"If I could just do candids, I think I'd be happy." "Well, we can't have a person who just does candids, that position doesn't exist." "The district I subbed for last spring has a candids person." "Well, they're not supposed to." (And then I threaten to quit.) "What if we took you put of schools and had you just do candids?"

So it's like... yeah, I argue. Because I'm making reasonable requests, that would help me be more compliant, and am being told that they can't be made... or having words get put in my mouth.

That and the comments about my appearance. That I wear inappropriate clothes (the uniform is cut for a different body type than mine.) Sometimes people can see my belly button. People commenting on my body. Parents who never even SEE me commenting that my 'bare midriff' is inappropriate for a school setting. People claiming that I smell bad (a comment usually given to fat people, as if I haven't smelled sweat, urine, or menstrual smell coming from school employees and students.)

All of this is just emotional outgassing. The candids position will have me in minimal contact with the company. I get my assignment, I go to assignment, I do assignment, I upload work to the cloud. If she gives me equipment, it's fucking over.

[redhoodfucker69]

whenever I see leftists making a really long and complex argument where going from point a to point b seems virtually impossible by any metric of common sense and if you take a step back you kinda go ????? what ???? even if the argument itself is well reasoned and worded i kinda...

well. personally. I think that the fact of the matter is you can make anything sound logical and objectively correct if you find the right connections that can tie two concepts together. however. the fact of the matter is the concepts must be tied. as in they were not actually joined before. but in my opinion, if you have to go to such extreme lengths to bring two completely unrelated topics together, you should honestly take a step back and ask yourself if you're ACTUALLY right or if you think perhaps your own biases are affecting the process and you're just looking for an avenue TO be right.

case in point: i once saw someone make a seemingly well reasoned debate that Tolkien was actually far more racist and malevolent because his themes of anti industrialization were actually stemming from racism and that informed his entire thematic choices as a writer. it was born from the fear of progress and the idealization of the perfect (re: white) British countryside life.

now. when you see those follow up words, obviously, you think yeah. maybe they're right. even if the initial "he was actually racist bc he was against industrialization" seems fucking insane.

I'm not going to deny that Tolkien had racist elements in his stories. he did. and maybe that person was seeking confirmation bias to prove Tolkien wasn't the saint we all portray him as or whatever. but like. that person is entitled to their own opinion and experiences. however, a lot of Tolkien's more racist caricatures were very clearly more subconsciously applied in my eyes. as in: I genuinely don't think Tolkien was actively and maliciously racist and the textual analysis that the entire theme and framework of Tolkien's work being rooted in racist bias deliberately paints him in the light of a raging bigot, not just some guy that was maybe a little influenced by the culture around him without the current framework we have now to actively deconstruct those ideals. I'm not going to make the excuse that all should be forgiven because he was a product of his time. I'm simply saying the time he lived in was different than our own and half of the framework we have for racism in fantasy and the process of deconstruction is rooted in the decades following his death. so how on earth can we expect him to have the framework to critically analyze these topics when they didn't even exist back then? sure, his writings definitely influenced things, and we can't erase that. but to make claims based on that without thinking what would he have written if he had the context of now is... kind of unfair?

but in any case. back to the main point. I see a lot of well reasoned leftist debates make these kinds of outlandish arguments that make sense once you read them, but it really makes me think about things like. why are these arguments being made. why are these things being connected. what does the person making these statements want to accomplish. are they aware of what they want to accomplish through them. so like. food for thought.

[itheunknown]

omfg i think i omitted a bunch of stuff in my ask my bad gang 😭💔💔💔 i meant to write:

what are batfams reaction to readers attempt or hypthetical successful attempt?

is the reader supposed to be female? i’ve been reading them as gn so just wanted some clarification lol

-🌝 anon

HELLO 🌝 ANON I MISSED YOU‼️‼️💕

gosh this is gonna be a word vommit, BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING 😋 come back to me pookie

for the clarification!!! i did tag it as batsis since i fear i might not able to write a gn!reader as well as batsis!reader, so it's a precaution! buttt everyone is free to interpret reader as they like! reader is bruce's biological daughter, but i do try to avoid using terms as such to be less restricting question mark? so i hope that clears some of that up hehe.

spoilerish below + talks about suicide

for the successful attempt w the current setting of the story, i think it'll take maybe a couple of days for the batfam to slowly realize that reader is missing. reader is self-sufficient and seldom asks for things or wander in the manor unless they're required to, they only do what's necessary so no one actually notices their absence. it would be either alfred, cass or damien that finds out (likelihood decreasing in that respective order). i think alfred and cass would feel guilty: alfred's last interactions with reader hadn't been the best, first he slapped them and then was the person that made reader realize that their friends don't exist, he basically speedran that process so he'd definitely drown in guilt; for cass, she'd probably feel like she failed reader, she saw the state of them but never knew why, only that there were signs that can reach this outcome but ig never actually made the effort to pay attention.

w damien, i think he'll be in denial, yes reader reinforced that idea that reader is weak, unstable, unbefitting to the last name you never deserved; but in the back of his mind, he knows that he pushed you there, though that's something he would never admit to anyone but himself.

i imagine dick would accompany alfred in sorting out reader's things and find the hoodie that reader wore at the abandoned building, suddenly everything dawns on him and he lives in regret, regretting that whatever he had asked of you to do (reaching out for help), you actually did, but you were right, you were alone, no one actually knows you and you were indeed left to fend for yourself - he could not follow through what he himself preached, and i think he'd always bring that hoodie with him whenever he can, so that he can live in the delusion that reader is still with him.

the news comes as a shock to bruce, he doesn't know why because it makes sense w all the events leading up to this. but he failed as a father, a guardian, a human. he doesn't even know much about you, you were excellent in studies, but that's almost expected as a wayne, and then, he realizes, your last name was never changed - his biological child was never granted his last name. he failed you, it was all his fault.

i think for jason and tim, they'd be sad, but in the way that's only a bit more intense if they were to hear about a casualty, because reader is no different than a stranger to them, they never knew you - and i think that's what haunts them. you can't imagine what could be different, what could change if you never knew.

i haven't really introduced stephanie, barbara and duke up until this point yet, so ill omit them from this. just to be clear that these reactions are based on the hypothetical that reader has a successful attempt after ch4!

as for just the attempt, im #projecting on reader but they'll definitely be a silent one. the ones in which reader wakes up alone, maybe not in critical condition (i think if they were critical it would lead to success based on how little anyone actually checks up on them, even alfred), disappointed that it failed. they'd probably stop actively trying to commit, but passively they'll wait for an opportunity for death to claim them without having to put in the effort. in short, no one would know but reader, and it'll just spiral into other unhealthy coping mechanisms.

also im sorry for going mia, i do not mean to leave you w crumbs 😭 ive been feeling burnt out and not to sound ungrateful, but the amount of people that interacted from ch2 to ch4 has decreased significantly and my overthinking ass is worried i did something wrong. but i am stubborn as well, so i shall continue steering the plot towards the direction i want. just trying to will myself through these conflicting feelings ✊😔 trust

[mental-mona]

Legit criticism of Israel vs. antisemitism: questions to ask yourself

What is antisemitism? | IHRA (holocaustremembrance.com) Let's start here. Does whatever you're saying, writing, or drawing go against the basic definition laid out here, or clearly fall into one of the examples given? If it does, you should almost certainly rethink your statement completely; even though this definition isn't legally binding, it's still a pretty darn good metric.

If you replace the word "Zionists/Israelis" in your statement with "Jews," does it sound antisemitic? If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck, even if it's wearing a dog costume. Your statement is antisemitic; please rethink it and probably also your general attitude.

Are you questioning Israel's right to exist? Sorry, antisemitic again, except maybe if you also question the rights of other religious and/or ethnic groups to their homelands. Jews have an archaeologically confirmed, continuous history in Israel going back 3000 years; they're not some random colonial upstarts. If you want to see former Soviet countries each stay independent and/or Tibet and Taiwan gain freedom from China, you don't get to turn around and claim that specifically Jews aren't allowed to have a homeland.

Are you implying that all Jews are responsible for things happening in Israel? If so, this is antisemitic. Diaspora Jews don't have much if any influence over Israeli politics, and plenty of them disagree with various Israeli policies and politicians. The word "Jews" simply refers to an ethnoreligious group with tons of variation in beliefs and practices, not some kind of powerful monolith. If you don't blame Chinese immigrants for the genocide of Uyghurs or all Muslims for Islamist terrorism, you don't get to blame all Jews for whatever's going on in Israel.

Do you view all Israelis as legitimate military targets for rockets & attacks? Even if you're going with the theory that they're all culpable because they all served in the military, you're still way off base. 1) They don't actually all serve in the army, and 2) by that logic, all veterans in your country are legitimate targets for nationalistic attacks. I'm pretty sure you don't think that. Also, you're forgetting about children and foreign workers; there are few if any places on Earth where those would be considered legitimate military targets. Rockets, bombs, and bullets don't discriminate in who they hit. There have even been cases, including in the current war, where they've harmed Israeli Arabs!

Do you have double standards? If your response to a resistance group, underdog or not, attacking civilians in another country is "that's bad" but your response to Palestinians attacking Israeli civilians is "it's complicated," or worse, "they deserve it," then you need to take a step back and ponder why you think that. It's once again antisemitic. If you believe that all resistance including harming civilians is valid in every region, no exceptions, then that would at least be consistent and therefore not antisemitic. If you think that Israel should just absorb the rocket fire and recent butchery without fighting back, would you say the same for your own country if it had a small neighbor shooting missiles at its major cities, especially if members of a leading faction in that country crossed the border and slaughtered your fellow citizens? If you don't think your country or other countries should just take it, anti-missile defenses or no, then you shouldn't expect it of Israel. Still antisemitic.

Are you viewing Israelis as a monolith? Israelis' views run the gamut on almost every issue you can think of. Just like there are differences of opinion regarding political, religious, and general societal issues in your home country, there are such differences in Israel. Heck, depending on your home country, Israelis' range of beliefs might even be broader than what you're used to! Unless you're affectionately joking about Israeli culture in the same way that you'd joke about American or British or whatever other country's cultural stereotypes, tarring all Israelis with the same brush is not a good idea. Taking a mean, "these people all believe/do objectively awful things" tone is downright antisemitic.

Are you confusing Israel's general population with its government? This should go without saying, but a government policy will never reflect the approval of all or even necessarily the majority of its citizens. There were ongoing mass protests for the better part of a year over the current coalition's controversial "judicial reform!" Just because you don't like something a particular group of politicians has decided doesn't mean that all Israelis agree with that thing and are therefore Bad.  If you wouldn't blame all of your government's unfortunate policies on your country's population as a whole, you don't get to blame all of Israel's. Also, please bear in mind that Israelis vote for parties not people, and then each party's leadership assigns members to the Knesset as it sees fit based on the number of seats it won. A voter can like a party in general, but then be horrified at what some of its members unexpectedly say or do later down the line.

Are you criticizing a specific Israeli government policy or action? If you're doing so without falling into "all Israelis are evil" canards or conspiracy theories, then criticize it all you want! That's the whole point of what you should be doing if you object to something! Feel free to put Israel on blast about how it shouldn't destroy terrorists' homes, or needs to make a nondenominational egalitarian prayer area at the Western Wall, or should handle ultra-Orthodox Jews differently, or needs to let humanitarian aid into Gaza, or whatever it is that's bugging you. Feel free to scream about a specific military incident, or warn Israel against repeating the mistakes of 9/11. If you'd say it about a similar thing your country did or is doing, it's probably fair game to say about Israel.

Are you criticizing a specific Israeli politician? Again, this is totally fair! Feel free to post about how a politician is corrupt and horrible and really needs to leave politics and hopefully face legal consequences. Feel free to express skepticism that a politician will do what they say they will, or that they actually have anyone's best interest in mind besides their own, or that they even have a decent idea of how to do their job. If you'd say it about your own country's politicians and it's not a conspiracy theory about them, the criticism is fine to lodge about Israeli politicians.

Are you criticizing a specific aspect of Israeli politics? You're welcome to say that Israel's current Knesset makeup is messed up, or that the ruling coalition has serious viability issues, or even that something about the whole Israeli political system is deeply flawed. Again, if you'd criticize your own country's equivalent without going into wild conspiracy theories, it's fair game to criticize Israel for it. However, I will point out that it's generally a good idea to know more about a country's political system than an average current events article tells you before you criticize it.

[female-malice]

Yeah, you definitely sound like a Proud Boy. Maybe you should ask yourself why these groups tend to be left leaning, and what they're actually saying when they criticize members of their group for aligning with the far right. It's not about indoctrinating everyone to think the same way; it's about understanding the ways in which power structures harm us. The fact that you can't understand that nuance is telling.

And you definitely sound like you're stuck at a 19 year old's understanding of the world.

I'm a lesbian woman who knows sex-based oppression is real and homosexuality is normal. This is why I was demonized by queer identity politics. This is why they labeled me an other, an outsider, a self-hating class traitor, a terf.

Identity politics is a failed project. You can not make an entire identity category come to a consensus or agree politically. You can not represent an entire identity category through a small ruling class of representatives. Identity politics only creates division and hatred by putting the in group on a pedestal while demonizing the out group. And these same strategies, when taken to the extreme, result in violence and social collapse.

If you want to see an example of extreme identity politics, check out what Azeri school children learn about Armenians. There's your identity politics right there. All the kids know which group they belong in. And they know who the outsiders are. If you want to see another example, look at the proud boys themselves. Look at how they all dress the same and have the same haircut. Look at how concerned they are about who is inside their group and who is outside of it. Identity politics. Tribalism. The human brain in its most basic state undisturbed by emotional or intellectual development.

I believe cultures are valuable troves of discovery, beauty, art, science, history, storytelling, and bonding. The more cultures, the better. It's like biodiversity. The more cultures we have, the more perspectives we can see through, the more we discover about the world. But identity politics is antithetical to all that. Identity politics makes it impossible for cultures to exist peacefully side by side. It makes it impossible for people to see through all the different perspectives. There's nothing wrong with identity and there's nothing wrong with politics. But when you put them together, you always end up with social ostracism, demonization, and dehumanization. You always end up with the most basic forms of tribalism.

[petruchio]

hope this isn't a weird and irrelevant reply to your personal post but honestly i really get what you mean. tbh i've been there too. i get how being in a place where you're confident in some aspects of yourself and doing enviable (?) things can be pretty isolating, especially if you're (perceived as) a woman, you feel like you're good at [insert some skills that matter to you], and you generally like the way you look. it can feel like you lack empathy because you don't share some of the insecurities that people around you experience and bond over (though you may be struggling with something different that they don't get), it can feel like you can't tell if you're a good friend or not because others talk about you in terms of what you've accomplished or what you have rather than who you are as a person, it can feel like your positive emotions aren't real because they're atypical and viewed as "unrelatable" idk. i feel like loving yourself and believing in your abilities is a net good but not a substitute for being around people who actually relate to your experiences. for me it's essentially feeling likable but not understandable (or understood), and ime it's something that isn't "solved" by having a lot of friends. it makes sense if you feel like that's not enough. not sure if any of this is actually similar to what you're going through, but i hope you get the chance to be around people who Get It, and i hope you feel less alone soon. you seem like a genuinely kind person on top of being great at writing/analysis -- i love the way you write about the things you're excited about. wishing you all the best <3

it's not weird or irrelevant AT ALL! it honestly always does make me feel better when i come on here and speak about something i'm struggling with and other people say, hey, yeah, me too. especially when the thing i'm complaining about is feeling alone, it's comforting to know that other people feel the same way. like, we're all lonely together, which makes us less alone in our loneliness.

and yeah i think you're right -- confidence is one of those weird things where the more you work on it, the more difficult it can become to relate to other people. people are always telling me i'm so confident and asking my advice on things and i'm always like... idk how to tell you to just stop caring what people are thinking. i mean, obviously i do care what people think of me, but maybe the problem is that because i'm my own worst critic, i can't imagine anyone hating me more than i already hate myself, which paradoxically means that i assume everyone loves me? or maybe it's because i can't imagine anyone genuinely giving a shit about what i do, so it's easy to just do whatever i want. because it's not that i don't care what people think, but just that i pretty much assume they aren't thinking about me, so why would i bother trying to impress them? (like some of my friends will describe in detail the logic behind their instagram story posts. and i'm just like... do you really think other people are noticing this? do you really think people care that much what you, some random person, is posting? it's kind of crazy to spend so much time thinking about yourself through the lens other people. just post if you think it's funny, or don't. nobody is actually thinking that much about you.)

but to your point, i feel like that is kind of where a lot of the loneliness comes from. because people describe certain insecurities or thought patterns that they have, and i'm just like yeah i truly cannot relate to that, or yeah, i would never do that. and when i do express things i'm struggling with, people act so shocked and never offer any kind of support because they're like "but your life is so perfect!" (which is INSANE! nobody has a perfect life! and i know it sounds like the most obnoxious problem ever, like oh my life is so great that nobody believes me when i say i'm still inexplicably sad, but it is a really isolating and lonely existence!!) and then i guess it kind of becomes a cycle where people say or do certain things, i don't relate to them at all, and then i wonder why i'm still struggling so much even though i'm honestly doing fine, and then i feel guilty for even struggling or feeling down because i don't really know what else i can do to get better, since again, i'm objectively doing fine.

i get what you mean about feeling likable but not understandable. recently i was on a second or third date with someone, and i had this weird out of body experience where it was like, i could see myself doing everything right -- i could see that he was totally into me and that i was saying all the right things and laughing at the right times and making the right jokes, but i didn't feel like a person? i knew i could make him like me, and that it wouldn't even be that hard, but i knew he would never actually know me, not even if we kept dating for years. he would always have just "liked" me, like you said. it was a really weird and uncomfortable feeling. i came home and wrote in my journal "sometimes i feel like i'm so good at pretending to be a person that i don't feel like i'm actually a person at all"

SORRY for these long rambling answers. i guess i'm feeling some type of way about my inability to function normally lately. being 24 is just weird i guess. it's uncomfortable and awkward and frustrating, and so much of it feels like this sense of cognitive dissonance between being really good at acting like an adult but still feeling like you just want to scream and cry and throw things like a toddler but you know you can't. i guess someday it will all make sense. or maybe it won't. but i'll keep writing about it either way <333

[chromatic-lamina]

For the fanfic ask:

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

47. what story are you most proud of?

91. how has your writing style changed over the years?

Bepo Fanfic Asks 5

(Bepo's officially hanging up his author's hat after this ask! Thanks for all the fan mail. It's made his heart implode ❤️)

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Ooh, it's just as well that Carrot didn't stow away with us. As a fellow-Mink, of course, I would've looked after her, but I think that the trip to Wano gave Captain a breather away from chaos for just a second (although Usopp and Ikkaku using the corridors to practice their curling skills during daily clean-up gave Mugiwara a run for his money. Those hallways are narrow and noise carries!).

As for why Carrot didn't ride with us (I'm guessing that's what existential means --> like she exited and existed on another ship -->). Really, there was no dread involved about any bunnies whatsoever. That was reserved for Mugiwara, and as said, we all had a chance to rest easy if but for a second.

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

We're a crew of 20 (+1) and I expect 20 Hearts to heart any heartfelt effort. Captain's always first of course. Don't tell anyone, but his pen name is Sturgeon-of-Depth. Then Adélie, toothy-grin, masked-gander, Jan-Baert, angel_3.14, gonadlier and the rest. Radish is always next to last, same as Massaker-Soldja.

Feedback, if it's honest, like:

You're Your depiction of yourself as me has moved me to tears

is treasured. But if it's just jealousy pretending to be helpful, like:

Plz don't leave A/N in middle of fic. Distracting.

I just delete it. When Clione angel_3.14, Shachi Radish, and Killer Massaker-Solja get as many hits as I do then they can come to my table and we'll discuss things as fellow scribes. Until then, maybe they could pick up some hints by studying my fics to help with their own stats? Although I can't see that any of them would do very well at role reversal Captain.

I think questions 47 and 91 are answered in instalments 3 or 4 (or topics very similar to them!). Thank you for the ask!

If you want to check out my previous answers, they're here! and here! and here! and here!

[basilfang]

" A sociologist, music critic, English student and carpenter walk into a bar. They all see the strange man in the corner putting coins into the jukebox. You ask them a week later what they saw, you're not gonna get the same answer.

And if the English student is bestrfiends with the strange man's daughter, and the music critic knows everyone at the pub because he's been going there with his friends for 23 years, if the carpenter is a recluse who got roped into coming along because his one friend, the English student's step brother told him to go along as a favour, oblivious to the fact the step brother is trying to set the two up because since leaving his apprenticeship he's become a cold sunovabitch, exactly the kind of person the English student seems to accidentally turn into happier people just by being around, and if the sociologist is just an old friend of the music critic visiting from Kilkenny and knew nothing about anything that goes on in this town, they're all gonna have a pretty different impression of the man.

So, you see, sometimes people can see the exact same thing and maybe they'll tell you the same or similar, but really, inside their head, everyone's view of the strange man will be it's own entire object, none quite like the other."

" Cat, if this is some mind fucky way for you to tell me it's just hearsay, I'm gonna tell you to take off your glasses so I can punch you in the fucking face"

That's your favourite show?

No, my brother's. We used to be close. Now he acts like we're just neighbours in an apartment building. I watch the show sometimes and it makes me sad. Not bad sad, I just miss him.

You poor thing.

He always had a soft spot for Cat Chi's Long Walk Home. If I wasn't being sentimental, I watch the original movie, the show I watch really just because of him.

What was the movie called?

Dandelion Teeth

You Were telling me about this a while ago. Based on a comic book, right?

Well, technically based on the book the graphic novel was based on.

Right.

You know in Sweden the book is called A Teenage Gravedigger's Daughter

That's on the nose, I imagine. From what you've told me about the general plot.

It is. But, by the time the story is in the form of the show, this one anyhow, not the web series which many claim is the best adaptation despite having so many shitty qualities, it isn't even about the daughter anymore. Barely even about that whole family. It focuses on the one romantic relationship and all the key story beats are centred around them. That's why I prefer the movie, but I can see why people like the show.

Hey O, do you think Irina will like the show? I feel like this is exactly her cup of tea.

She loves the show. How did you not know?

I don't know

She said she's only seen the show and movie, not anything else, the books she only realised existed a few weeks ago. Maybe if you watch the show you'll have something more to talk to her about?

Maybe. I still don't think I can get into the show just yet. It seems like a lot. Maybe I should wait for the right time.

It will never be the right time. It will always be the right time. Why not sooner than later.

I'll think about it. Are you all packed for tomorrow?

Sure am. Socks and shirts and everything else all rolled up. I am ready to rumble!

-

you're trying to remember his name. Place yourself in her shoes. She's talking to him, she's written about him. Edith knows his name. What is it? Try and think

I just can't. I don't have a connection to their relationship. I don't think this is gonna work.

If we want to figure out who's messing with us, I think finding this guy will help us immensely. Edith trusted him. Maybe not always, or in the end, but at one point. Just knowing who he is, even if he's dead now, I think it's a good idea.

Whatever you say.

-

This is what falling in love feels like. I'll have to tell TP soon. I know he'll say this is stupid. Maybe I'm not falling in love, maybe it's just boredom, he'll say. And if it doesn't work out, he'll say, what did I tell you.

I miss the old days. Before it got so complicated. This town, it makes everything so not straightforward. And he ... he makes things understandable. Something isn't exactly right here, but can't I just be happy for once?

[clouds-of-wings]

I understand the occult stuff I tried 5 years ago much better now, as an atheist with an understanding of somatic psychology, than I did back then, and also why it didn't work for me.

What I did (that particular time! Not my first foray into such matters, but my most serious and systematic one) was some modified "paganified" Golden Dawn magic. Stuff that was supposedly "basic level, but if you do it every day it will get you far in terms of personal development, just try it for a year". Well I did try it for a year, I was very disciplined, and it got me absolutely nowhere. Depressing, but I understand why now.

Okay, so what do you do? Progressive Muscle Relaxation, a breathing exercise, then you focus your thoughts, then the LBRP, then the Middle Pillar. Then meditation, divination, stuff like that.

I understand so well now why you do these things. Everything before the meditation part is designed to get you into a mindset where you are calm, confident, you feel strong and safe. It's all designed to massage your central nervous system. Once a day you give your brain all kinds of cues of safety, first through relaxing your muscles and regulating your breath, then you do the LBRP, aka the spiritual equivalent of being approached by four world-class bodyguards who assure you that they are keeping an eye on you, that you matter to them, that you are with them. Then you do the Middle Pillar, aka the spiritual equivalent of five of the people you look up to the most approaching you and telling you how cool you are, how much they see their best qualities in you and how they are always with you.

I'm not describing it like this to make fun of it! Those ARE powerful experiences and they are probably a very good way of giving your central nervous system the cues of safety and power that it needs to relax and function properly. Of course that would get you far in terms of personal development! I'm not knocking it at all, I believe this can work very well.

IF you believe in it. And believing in it doesn't just involve "believing the gods in question exist", it also means believing that they would want to protect and strengthen you specifically. To stay in the analogy, if the bodyguards just roll their eyes and sarcastically say "yeah sure" when you ask for their protection, then of course you don't feel protected by them. If you don't actually look up to the Middle Pillar figures, or you feel like if they were humans they wouldn't be the kind of people who would care about you, then it won't work. What you're reinforcing in yourself is instead a feeling of being alone, unworthy, or just in the wrong place.

I think this last part is why it didn't work for me. If you ask the archangels for help but you're actually a wicked sinner (or think you are) who isn't making nearly enough of an effort to live according to God's law, then maybe you will wonder why the angels would possibly want to protect you. Though maybe Jesus' message of universal forgiveness can help with that (you still have to be sorry though).

In my case, it was less about sin (it wasn't Christian after all) than it was about me feeling like if the Aesir were human, we would probably have very different world views. Why would a guy whose entire thing is beating symbolic representations of wild nature to death with a phallus symbol ever protect me from my enemies? A guy like that would be more likely to BE my enemy, even though I understand why iron age farmers would worship a god like that. Why would a bunch of snobby patriarchal cliquish gods who live in a castle and think they're better than all the other giants while still exploiting them at every turn possibly want to have anything to do with me? Those are exactly the kind of people I don't get along with at all!

In a way, it was me getting my wires crossed. I had my reasons, plenty of them, to gravitate towards the Norse gods. But I had a certain critical distance to the most central figures of the mythology even though I vibed with it in other ways. Since I actually believed in these gods as autonomous beings (or did my best to) I figured I'd try my best and approach them with as little prejudice as possible. After all, I reasoned, if they're so wise and immortal and perhaps well-intentioned, they might correct my negative preconception if I approached them correctly. Theoretical analysis is one thing, but how someone real treats you can still contradict your preconceptions of how "someone like that" will usually act. I have certainly had the experience that what humans say about their worldview doesn't always predict how they will actually behave.

But sadly these gods don't actually exist as autonomous beings. Or so I believe nowadays. So there was no one there to correct the negative image I had in my head of them and my actions only reinforced them. This ritual stuff is all about priming your subconscious mind to work the way you want it to with bodywork, symbolism, imagery. There's nothing external to relate to, so whatever you work with will reinforce itself over time. You can't wring safety from god images you don't trust, you can't wring confidence from the idea of gods who you don't think would like you. Nothing happened when I did these exercises. Nothing blew up in my face, but I went through the motions and tried to make myself feel the correct things. The one positive thing I got from it was that it trained my discipline and willpower, which isn't nothing but definitely not all I wanted from something as time and energy intense as a daily ritual practice.

Anyway. The year after, I lost my faith for unrelated reasons (no, it wasn't the pandemic), so these realizations don't help super much now. Actually, maybe working with gods you don't believe in but who you think would be helpful if they did exist might even be more promising than working with gods who you think are real but wouldn't help you. Kind of like an "imagined community", except with spiritual beings. But I don't know if I want to do anything with that thought at this point.

[cryptidsurveys]

Wednesday, October 16th, 2024.

What’s your best tip on being a better listener? Do you consider yourself to be a good listener? I don't have any genuine tips because I'm kind of a terrible listener. I'm often either thinking about what I want to say, or fumbling to come up with an appropriate response. The former is more related to people I know well (ie. hurry up and finish your thought so I can contribute mine), whereas the latter is more related to people with whom I'm not as comfortable (ie. you caught me off-guard and I'm struggling to formulate a sentence that doesn't sound stupid). The obvious advice is to slow down and don't worry so much about saying anything in particular - because if you're actually listening and taking in what the other person has to say, then chances are a response will come naturally and you won't have to dedicate half of your brain power to rehearsing something that merely "sounds good."

What’s something you do less and less as you’ve gotten older? Delight in the magic of existence. I was such an imaginative and whimsical child, but I feel like I've lost a lot of that spark as I've gotten older. Childhood had such a dreamlike and mysterious quality to it, but adulthood feels so solid and certain. I do try to revive that energy and immerse myself in small, beautiful moments, but it's just not the same. Maybe my problem here is similar to my listening problem above. I'm so busy trying to force things to feel magical or wondering why they don't that I miss out on what made those moments magical in the first place. Experience and enjoyment without overthinking.

Do you believe in your intuition or logic more, and why? My intuition is a piece of shit. Of course, if it's screaming at me to not go down some dark alley, then I'm going to listen. But if it's whispering that so-and-so doesn't like me, then so what? Is giving in to speculation and acting "accordingly" going to accomplish anything? Absolutely not. It's going to send me down a negativity spiral that can only end in disaster. I have to rely on what little logic I have.

When was the last time you acted irrationally? What happened? A few weeks ago, when I thought I was going to be fired from volunteering over the Alex situation. It wasn't even close to that serious. This is why I can't rely on emotion or intuition - they will almost invariably lead me astray.

Are you scared of being lonely? I've spent a lot of my life feeling lonely, so while it isn't a nice feeling, it doesn't scare me. I'm much more afraid of being truly alone and incapable of functioning independently. There's feeling alone in a crowded room and then there's having no one to call when your whole life is crashing down.

Do you often feel jealous? If so, why? Yeah (or envious, resentful, etc). I'm somewhat better at reasoning with myself and refraining from acting on those emotions, but they're still there.

How do you react to criticism? It really depends on how the criticism is delivered and what it's targeting. It can be anywhere from no big deal to soul crushing.

What has made you laugh out loud in the last week? Joking around with River, Kristen, and Natasha. I nearly puked because I was laughing so hard. It feels good. I haven't laughed this much in years.

What gift have you gotten in the last year that brings joy to your life? It brings joy with a whole lot of guilt because I'm not the reader I once was, but my mom gifted me all of the James Harriet books for Christmas last year. I'm only part of the way through the first one and I feel inclined to lie whenever she asks because I don't want her to think I don't appreciate the gift. I do, I really do, I'm just in a horrible reading slump and I don't know how to get myself out of it. I thought I was doing better when I was getting into Sci-Fi novels, but that trailed off after just a few books, so…hmph.

What is something you’ve learned in the past week? My therapist asked me earlier if I'd had any "aha moments" recently, and yes, I have! I went into one of them on a recent survey. Basically, bad things aren't necessarily some sort of karmic punishment. Sure, there is an element of cause and effect in life, but you can be the best person in the whole world and bad things will still happen to you. Some things are simply inescapable, but they aren't your fault. You didn't bring them upon yourself. Which leads into the second realization. You can stew on those bad things for as long as you want, you can spend eternity in self-righteous indignation and resentment, or you can practice understanding and compassion and set yourself free from that self-imposed hell. Sometimes negative emotions are natural and expected, but they shouldn't be indulged to the extent that they consume you. It might not be satisfying in the moment (especially when all I want to do is literally or figuratively kick and scream - like with the recent family drama), but it's much more satisfying in the long run to look back and realize how much I was able to learn and overcome.

What are some things you have now that you didn’t have five years ago?

The ability to drive.

The ability to volunteer 30+ hours a week.

A relationship with my mom. I always say it's complicated, but it's positive enough to be worthwhile.

A much deeper understanding of my mental illness and how to cope in helpful and productive ways.

A better handle on my eating disorder. I still struggle to an extent, but I don't think an outsider would ever guess.

A small social circle of people who appreciate my presence.

Basically, I feel like I have the beginnings of a life that I once believed was impossible, maybe even a future worth looking forward to.

What is a quality you have that you consider negative? Now what is something positive that comes out of that quality? People-pleasing mixed with FOMO. "If I'm not there, if I don't do this, then I'll miss out, people won't like me as much, and I'll fade back into obscurity." Along with a determination to improve my life and push myself out of my comfort zone (good qualities), it's helped me get where I am today. I would like to ease up on the people pleasing tendencies because they definitely have their drawbacks, but I can't say that absolutely nothing good has come from them.

What is a small win that you accomplished in the past 24 hours? I drove to therapy, even though certain merges make me anxious. Nobody honked, nobody died. ;D

Describe a small, everyday thing that you enjoy with a special person in your life. Evening chats with my dad. We talk randomly throughout the day, of course, but in the evenings we really sit down and TALK. Not about anything in particular, often about nothing much, but it's just nice to have that time set aside.

Look around the room you’re in and list 10 things you’re grateful for. My kitties. Computer. Phone. Drawing tablet. Migraine medicine. Bed. Clothing. Books. Blankets (lots of blankets). Food (I'm currently eating a late lunch).

What is an emotion you try to avoid? Why are you afraid to feel it? Many of the emotions I've talked about throughout this survey. Jealousy, resentment, anger, misplaced fear, shame, etc. I'm not necessarily "afraid" to feel them. In fact, until relatively recently, I've felt them often and intensely. Still do sometimes. It's just that I've realized how much of a hindrance they can be, and I've found ways to combat them or lessen their impact on my life. It's also not about never feeling them; it's more about keeping them in proper check.

Are the people in your life bringing negative or positive energy? I'd say it's mostly positive. Some neutral. And a very small percentage of negligible negativity.

[puppyoclock]

my strategy for how to properly do research on a particular discussion topic, in order to have your own opinion/stance:

find out what you're in for! casually scroll through tags for the topic on social media, google it to see what the first results are, read the wikipedia page on it, stuff like that to get a broad overview of generally what the topic even is and what you have to learn

write down a list of subtopics or discussion points you commonly see. as an example, if you were researching whether cats or dogs are better, your list would look something like: "general amount of maintenance required, predictability, trainability, energy level, affection, lifespan, lifestyle" etc.

look into each of those points individually from multiple sources, from different opinions and different levels of credibility. for the cats or dogs example, you would be looking for sources from people who prefer cats AND people who prefer dogs. you would also look for a combination of everyman/community opinions, professional opinions, and direct scientific research/academic papers (if applicable). if you have friends who are into this topic, ask them! just try not to be inclined to agree with them just because they're your friend - avoiding bias would be easiest if you had several friends on different sides (e.g. at least one who prefers cats and at least one who prefers dogs) and you could consult all of them separately.

for scientific research, the best way to quickly get an overview on the topic is to use a resource like google scholar or pubmed to search for review articles on the topic. these are articles that summarize and analyze a bunch of the existing studies and put them into context, so that you don't have to read a billion studies yourself. however, this can be flawed and biased according to the author - a quick way to fix this would be to just read multiple review articles and consider what they agree and disagree on. if you want 100% scientific accuracy on every detail, you should critically read a lot of individual studies yourself, but this is very time consuming and rarely does it matter that much lol. just take what you read with a grain of salt, and read several sources if you can. if the actual research papers are too hard to read and jargon-heavy for you, it's okay to turn to other sources that explain the research in a way that makes sense, just keep in mind potential bias!

throughout this process, you'll likely have already been forming an opinion of your own - or maybe you even started out with one. at this stage, you take a step back and look at the big picture. consider which option sounds best according to what you know, what your values are, and what works best for you. but also, consider WHY people disagree with you. that is ESPECIALLY important if your side seems like the obvious choice. why do people disagree with you if that's the case? especially if the split isn't "most people vs vocal minority", like pro- and anti-vaccination; if it's closer to 50/50 or 40/60, really take the time to understand WHY so many people don't come to the same conclusion as you. you do not get to answer this with personal judgements like "because they're stupid" or "because they're evil". really try to put yourself in their shoes. you don't have to change your opinion at all, you don't have to agree with a single word they say. just genuinely consider it with good intentions, and then come to your own conclusion. this is where you really apply critical thinking to your research.

congratulations, you've now successfully come to your own educated conclusion! if you choose to share your wisdom with others, do this in the form of educational posts where you share your research or some of your own reasoning with the public. a wonderful way to make a difference is to paraphrase or summarize some of the research you did to make that information more accessible to the public! what you will NOT do is guilt trip, harass, judge, mock, or otherwise put down other people on the internet! yes, even if they are "the other side", and even if they are "morally bad" or hurting people by disagreeing with you. more harm and hatred won't fix that problem! instead, calmly share what you know and block freely :)

[jwcnsz]

you're perfect, baby

bf!lee heeseung x gn!reader

summary; heeseung comforting y/n and reassuring them that they're perfect just the way they are (i'm crying).

warnings; swearing, mentions of body shaming (??), reader is pretty insecure :(, calorie counting, lots of crying, use of baby and love

genre; heavy(ish) angst, fluff

word count; 900+ (i was aiming for more :( but its okay)

a/n; i've been thinking abt bf hee sm lately i'm so in love with him anyways i want u guys to know ur perfect just the way u are!! don't let anyone tell u different, not even urself. now enjoy, loves <3

you looked at your reflection in the mirror of your room. no matter how you looked at yourself, you weren't satisfied with yourself. your mind was constantly full of thoughts criticizing yourself.

your waist could be smaller... maybe you could work out more to lose some of the belly fat you have... you need to stop eating so many calories and count like before... heeseung probably thinks you need to lose weight too...

that last one stung the most. you never understood how your boyfriend loved you so much even when you didn't have the best body (in your opinion). he could get anyone in the world, you thought. anyone better than you, so why pick you?

you felt the tears well up and slip down your cheeks. he deserves so much better, why you? what do you have that he could possible want so much?

you look back in the mirror. you look at your arms, thighs, belly, even your hands. you just didn't get what he saw. the small whimpers leaving you became full on sobs.

heeseung had just come back from a night out with some friends, he was so ready to cuddle with you and fall asleep with you. his plans were forgotten when he heard crying coming from your shared bedroom. he barged in to find you looking at yourself and sobbing.

he felt his heart break. why are they crying?, he thought as he walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you, putting his head on your shoulder.

"baby, what's wrong?" he asked. your sobs became louder. you wanted to answer him, really, but you couldn't. how do you tell your boyfriend that you think your body is an absolute mess, that he deserves better.

you shook your head and unwrapped his arms from around you. he was confused, did he do something wrong? did he make you sad? "y/n, is everything okay? did i do something?" he asked in a worried tone.

"hee, what do you see in me?" you didn't answer his question. he blinked slowly before answering. "what do you mean...?" you sighed before turning to look at him.

"what's so good about my body? why do you stay with me even when my body is absolute shit?" you let out, holding back a sob. oh no. heeseung was ready to burn the fucking world down.

"baby what? why are you even asking yourself this?" he needed to know how you even got these questions in your head.

you just shook your head and cried more. heeseung hugged you again but this time you didn't try to push him off. he's giving you head pats and telling you that it's okay, to let it out.

when you finally calm down, he sits you down on your bed and holds your hands. "can you finally tell me what's wrong, love?" he asked softly. he tried to sound as calm as possible so that felt comfortable talking to him.

you took a deep breath and started talking. "my body is so ugly. it's not nice to look at at all. i'm just wondering why you're with me even when my body is probably the worst you could find. you have so many pretty girls around you that are so much prettier and better than me... so why me?" you voice quivered with those last words.

heeseung felt himself tear up. he didn't want you to feel like that, he wanted you to know you're perfect to him, to know that you're amazing and that he'd never trade for anyone else no matter what.

"why you? because you're perfect to me, y/n. you're absolutely beautiful. i don't care what you think i think, i want you to know that in my eyes you're the most perfect person to ever exist in the history of ever. ever!"

as he said all this, he started crying. god he was in so much fucking pain just from the thought of you belittling yourself and your body like that. you started crying too. not because of what you thought of yourself but because of heeseung's words.

"you really mean it?" you questioned him. he wipes the tears from your cheeks. "i do. i really do." he answered you.

you both kept crying. he went to hug you and you hugged back this time, crying with each other. "i love you so much. you're perfect, baby. please know that." hee whispered into your ear as you nodded.

"thank you, hee." you whispered out. he smiled and gave you a small kiss, making you smile as well.

"let's sleep, in the morning we can finish talking about this, okay?" he suggested. you nodded and got up to change in your pajamas. when you came back he was already in bed waiting for you to lay down with him.

he patted the side of the bed that was empty. "come here here with me, love" he smiled at you. you walked over to the bed and laid down facing him. he gave you a kiss before hugging you and holding you so, so tight.

he never wanted to let you go, ever. he wanted you to feel comfort from him in that moment. you wanted to cry from how much love he was showing you in that moment.

after that night, hee made it his mission to compliment you every single day. no matter what he would make comments like "you look so good in those jeans." and "that dress suits you so well, baby."

he did his very best to make you feel good about yourself. and it was working so well, all because of him.

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