#or being the meme ‘bitches be like i i you wow i bitch what speak spit it the fuck out’
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#ccs#cardcaptor sakura#card captor sakura#yue#yue ccs#yukito tsukishiro#tsukishiro yukito#gay gay homosexual gay#has anyone done that? i dunno#this meme is funnier once you read clear card#so#ch. 44 spoilers?#i’ve always seen Yue cringing for every Touya and Yukito interaction but keeping silent out of tolerance#or being the meme ‘bitches be like i i you wow i bitch what speak spit it the fuck out’#during the sakura cards arc of course
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Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider
FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST
Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death
New spooky music???
My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks
Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER
Omg the greying hair is canon??
Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you
Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy
Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma
You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.
Getting such neurodivergent vibes
Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes
My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys
He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start
"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary
Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it
I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old
The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense
Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol
It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered
My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that
I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard
The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol
He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you
On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name
I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it
AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH
HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.
yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner
GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND
ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC
THE ADMIRAL
Awwww he's so cute with georgie
GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST
THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE
Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??
God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her
It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster
WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!
#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#jarchivist#a guest for mr spider#the web#tma season 3#georgie barker#tma georgie#jurgen leitner#what the ghost#the admiral
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stupid bitch .1
* you and ellie have been friends for years but you only recently discovered that the way you liked her was more than just friendly. unfortunately, she’s already in a relationship with a toxic girl who (surprise!) does not like you. as their relationship starts to sour, you’re the one ellie always goes to for comfort and you oblige until you can no longer take the heartache and pain you’re feeling which causes you to finally confess…blurring the already thin line between yours and ellie’s ‘friendship’.
* infidelity, oblivious!ellie, meanish!ellie, pining, anxious thoughts
* first fic, based on girl in reds Stupid Bitch bc wow does that song make me scream. if this gets any traction at all ill post pt 2 and a couple others I have in the works :) feedback is appreciated, pls enjoy and interact!!
*mdni
*wc - 4k
part .2 here
You had a love hate relationship with Ellie.
Well, it was mostly love…who were you kidding, it was all love.
She’s been your best friend for years and you were so fucking glad she was apart of your life. She’d been there for you during the worst parts like when your parents didn’t speak to you for a month after you came out and the best parts like when you got accepted into your dream school.
Every great memory in your life, Ellie was there. She was someone you could rely on and who you knew would stick by you even when she saw the worst parts of you and you hoped she knew you would do the same for her. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. Of course, it wasn’t until she started dating her that you realized your true feelings.
“I’m telling you! She’s just—she’s perfect!” Ellie gushed, your stuffed animal being squeezed to death between her lean arms.
You forced a smile onto your face, a sour feeling thrashed in your gut. “I’m happy for you, glad you guys are hitting it off.”
“We’re more than hitting it off, we’re like, on the exact same wavelength..did you know she does her own tattoos? How fucking cool is that?”
You turned back around in the chair at your desk, trying to busy yourself with the schoolwork you were supposed to be doing and rolling your eyes at her rambling. The two had been seeing eachother for the last month and she did nothing but talk about her.
“Yeah I did know because you’ve told me a thousand fucking times..” You mumbled.
“Hm?” She asked, “Sorry, Cat just sent me the funniest meme.”
She spun your chair back around to show you the meme on a cracked screen and when you saw it you wanted to take her phone and toss it out the window.
“I sent you that like 4 weeks ago.” You laughed dryly.
“Oh, for real?” She mumbled, already pulling her phone back to continue texting Cat.
You rolled your eyes again, huffing when you picked up your phone to text Jesse. He was the only one who knew about your newly discovered crush on Ellie, other than her, you considered him your closest friend and he had comforted you when you came to his dorm, eyes filled with tears and guilt after you told him that you were in fact in love with your best friend.
im going to go fucking insane.
oh brother, what did she do this time?
she won’t stop fucking talking about her ☹️ she litrly just showed me a meme cat sent her that i SENT HER WEEKS AGO and she didn’t even remember
you know ellie tho she prob just forgor fr
jesse i Litrly cant do this anymore. I’m going to rip out my air and throw my laptop at the wall.
Rip out your air? How would that work, like a breathing machine??
Die
💪💗 sorry y/n im sure it’ll get better
😐 when?
…
Before you could see his response you dropped your phone in your lap when you felt Ellie tap your shoulder, “What?”
“Said I’m gonna go piss.”
“Oh, okay.”
She got up from your bed and when she left, her phone was still there.
You shouldn’t. It’s a complete and utter violation of her privacy. If she caught you, she’d probably never talk to you again…
But you knew her password, and it was right there and you were so damn curious.
Your hands moved before you could rethink and suddenly her phone was in your hand and your eyes were skimming over her messages.
You clicked on the thread with Cat and felt your heart seize when you read what she was saved as: my girl ♥️
Despite the searing pain you felt pang through you like a hot knife, you read on.
i can’t wait to cu tonight ;))
same, u can finally get started on my tattoo!
mhm 😇 can’t you come over a little esrlier? im so bored T_T
cant :( yk im hanging out with ★ rn
yeahhhh but she’d understand you’d wanna hangout w ur gf right?? she said she was happy we started dating so she can’t get upset
what the fuck?
yeah ig but irs been a while since I last saw her
plssss els :(( just wanna hold u rn
There was a little space between this message and the next, you figured it been when you and Ellie got caught up in a conversation about your mutual hate for one of your profs.
if u rlly don’t wanna see me jus say that.
yk that’s not true id love to see u rn
then COME, if she gets upset that’s not ur problem..she has to understand you can’t spend all your time with her
What the fuck was this bitch even talking about? She was the one trying to lock Ellie up. You were about to scroll down to see what Ellie had said but you heard footsteps and threw her phone back on your bed before pretending to be stuck on a practice question.
Ellie picked up her phone and you were so scared she’d notice you were on it you thought your heart was going to pop out of your chest and fall onto your desk.
“Hey..”
Dread filtered through your body. She knows, she knows and she’s going to confront you and she’s going to storm out and you’re going to lose your best friend and—
“I think I’m gonna head out, seems like you got a lot of work to do.”
You dropped your pencil and turned to look up at her, “Are you sure? I mean we could go somewhere if you want.” You didn’t want her to leave, you wanted her to stay in your dorm with you forever.
“No.” She said quickly, backing up “It’s fine, I’ll see you later.”
“Okay I’ll see you—“
She walked out your door, letting it close.
“Later.”
—★
It was a freezing December night the first time Ellie came to you, eyes ridden with tears over a fight with Cat.
Usually, it was her calling you up to have you come over and comfort her because Cat was ‘acting weird’ and ‘being mean’. But something serious must have happened for her to be here.
A few weeks had passed since that enlightening time at your dorm where she had practically flown out of your room to go see Cat. During the following weeks, the two of you had barely talked let alone seen eachother and when you did it was almost always about Cat. You understood that you were both busy with school and she was busy with her girlfriend and you didn’t know whether it was Cat or Ellie that had forced the two of you’s separation or if it was your own subconscious mind trying to protect you from getting hurt. Either way, you missed her dearly.
She was pounding hard on your door, and when you opened it she immediately rubbed her red rimmed eyes. She lived in the other dorm building and judging from her appearance you imagined she ran here as quick as she could; Snowflakes adorned her hair and eyelashes and her nose was red from the cold, she had an old green hoodie on and plaid pyjama pants. Even on the verge of tears she was still so unbelievably gorgeous.
“Ellie, it’s like 3AM..” You said groggily, you knew she had trouble sleeping but she usually texted you if she needed a distraction.
“I know just, please I need to talk to someone. And Dina’s with Jesse and Cat fucking—” She paused, sniffling.
You sighed, stepping to the side so she could come in and you could close the door that was currently blowing in cold air from the freezing hallway.
“What happened?”
“It’s Cat.”
Of fucking course. Fury engulfed you, Ellie wasn’t one to cry often or even come close to it so Cat must’ve done something pretty fucked up.
“She was being so distant and I don’t even fucking know what I did and then some fucker I don’t even know just sent me this,”
She shoved her phone in your face and the image made even more anger surge throughout you. It was blurry but you could still make out two figures, one with short black hair—Cat, and another unrecognizable. Cat had her arms locked around the mysterious girls neck and the two were not just kissing but full on frenching. You wanted to throw insults so bad but Ellie was upset and that was more important than dissing her girlfriend.
“Oh Ellie, I’m so sorry.” you said softly, pulling her in for a hug.
She sniffled and wiped her nose, “Yeah, thanks.”
“So, are you two..” you trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.
“I don’t know, maybe. I sent her a text about the picture and told her to call me but she hasn’t answered.” Ellie said, pulling away.
“Ellie are you serious?” You questioned, looking into her green eyes. “She fucking cheated.”
Ellie looked to the side, avoiding your scrutinizing gaze.
“There could be more to the story.”
You scoffed, “Looks pretty straightforward to me, she went to party, made out with another girl and is completely ignoring you.”
Her jade eyes scanned your face before she shook her head, “You don’t like her.”
No shit you don’t like her.
“That’s not true.” You lied.
“Yes it fucking is! at first I thought I was overthinking it but whenever I bring her up you get this…this look on your face.” She accused.
“What look? This i—“
“That look!” She cut you off, pointing a long finger in your face. “Like..like you’re about cry or blow up or something.”
“I—“ Before you could defend yourself Ellie’s phone rang, the two of immediately knowing who it was. Ellie cleared her throat and answered before the second ring even started.
“Babe?” She croaked out and you winced, both at the nickname and the pain in her voice. You couldn’t listen to this.
“I think..you should go.” You said quietly, walking toward your door to open it for her.
Her eyes flashed to your face before she nodded and walked out, phone still close to her ear.
That night as you crawled back into your bed and warm tears hit your pillow you never wanted to rip out your heart more because the love you had for her was still there, never wavering and consuming you entirely even though you knew it would never be requited.
— ★
It’d been weeks since that night and since you’d talked to Ellie. You didn’t mean for the gap to stretch this long, you decided to give her some space after your…argument? And then you had finals, and then winter break where you went back home to visit old friends and reluctantly, your parents.
You came back two days before classes started up again so you could ease back into your routine. In the last few weeks you tried your hardest to push thoughts of Ellie out of your mind but you cared for her too much to completely disregard her and bits and pieces slipped through the guards you had put up.
You layed on your dorm bed, sighing as you stared at Ellie’s Instagram.
Back together, you thought.
Over the course of Cat and Ellie’s relationship, you’d learned how to tell when they were ‘on a break’ and when they were together just from her Instagram.
When they were together, her profile picture was the two of them, Cat pressing her lips against Ellie’s cheek and Ellie with her eyes scrunched closed, a joyful look on her face. Ellie also had a highlight labled with nothing but a cat emoji as well as a few random posts of them doing more random shit.
When they were ‘on a break’; Ellie’s profile picture was the default one and she had no highlights, and a singular picture posted; her and Joel after her highschool graduation. After Ellie saw the picture of Cat at that party it’d been like that for two and a half weeks and you silently hoped it’d stay that way forever.
Now, her profile picture was the two of them looking happier than ever and you couldn’t help but feel mocked while you moped miserably in your cold dorm alone, your only comfort being the stuffed animal that you held close to your chest.
You missed her, desperately.
You couldn’t do this anymore, you had to have her in your life even if it wasn’t the way you wanted. You sat up, brushing the stray tears from your face you didn’t know had fallen. Determination coursed through you, you were going to break the silence first.
Ellie was getting back tomorrow so you arranged a plan, you’d pick up a pepperoni pizza from her favourite diner—pizza was her favourite food and you’d called her basic when she first told you, which she replied “Anybody who says they don’t like pizza or pizza is basic are trying too hard to be different, pizza is the only perfect thing in the world.” and you shoved her arm playfully telling her to just eat the freaking pizza— the memory made your heart hurt but you swallowed the feeling.
Then, you’d pick up both yours and her favourite snacks from the 7/11 near your campus along with a few sodas.
And finally, the main item of your grand scheme, stopping by the blu-ray store to pick up the first Jurassic Park, the two of you could always watch it on Netflix but she preferred having the physical thing, stating it felt more ‘authentic.’
It was going to be the perfect night, and by the end of it, it would be like the entire last month and couple weeks never happened. The two of you would be back to normal.
— ★
You’d spent the entire next day anxious about seeing Ellie again. You’d woken up early on accident and had to find things around your dorm and campus to busy yourself until it was time to get ready and grab all the items on your list.
And now here you were at— you checked your phone, 6:43 PM— pyjama clad and balancing a pizza box and your phone in one hand and two bag fulls of snacks and Jurassic Park in the other.
You placed one bag down to knock on the door and you heard shuffling before it swung open. To your distaste, the person who opened the door was not your best friend/crush/reason for breathing, but instead her girlfriend who you knew didn’t like you. Could you blame her though? You were in love with her girlfriend. Although she didn’t know that, at least…you don’t think she did.
You can’t believe you hadn’t thought about what you’d do if she was here, the pair seemed to always always always be together when they weren’t ‘on a break.’ Your eyes trailed down her form, she had on tiny plaid pyjama shorts and a thick green hood on that you recognized as Ellie’s. Jealousy plunged through you like boiling, corroding acid.
“Babe, who is it?” You heard Ellie call down from somewhere in the dorm and your stomach flipped, it’d been so long since you’ve heard her voice.
“Your friend.” She deadpanned.
“Who?” Ellie questioned, walking into view of the door frame. Her short auburn hair was out of it’s usual style and laid damp against her neck along with a towel, she was wearing thick navy sweatpants and a thin white tank top. Your eyes immediately landed on the black ink that trailed across her right forearm. She looked fucking amazing.
“★?” Her jade eyes widened, “What are you doing here?”
You held up the pizza box and movie half heartedly, “Surprise?”
She smiled and you swear to fucking god you almost dropped everything you were holding to whip out your phone and snap a picture. You’d missed her smile so much and seeing it online just wasn’t enough.
“Come in, you and Cat can catch up while I finish drying off.”
You looked at Cat, honestly forgetting she was there. Her dark eyes bored into you and you couldn’t help but notice how pretty she was with her short black hair and milky skin. Why were the pretty ones always fucking crazy?
She stepped to the side so you could walk in and put everything down on the old coffee table.
Awkward silence enveloped the space between you two before you cleared your throat, she was Ellie’s girlfriend whether you liked it or not which meant you’d being seeing a lot more of her so you had to atleast be civil.
“I like your hoodie.” You tried, giving her a weak smile.
“Thanks. It’s Ellie’s.” Maybe you imagined it, but you swore you heard a bit of a mocking emphasis on Ellie.
You sighed, taking a seat on the worn green sofa Ellie had found on Facebook market place for what she thought was ‘the deal of the century.’
“Hope you like pepperoni pizza.” You tried again.
“I’m vegetarian.”
Of course she was.
“Oh..you could pick them off?”
She scoffed, trudging off in the direction of Ellie, leaving you to sit alone. This was not going as planned, you’d wanted to spend one on one time with Ellie and discuss what the fuck had happened in the last month but it’d just be awkward when the elephant was literally in the room.
The two returned, Ellie’s hair dryer now and towel discarded. Ellie plopped down beside you and you didn’t miss the way Cat’s eye twitched.
Ellie’s eyes landed on the box of pizza, her face lighting up. “No way, I thought they were closed during the holiday’s.”
You smiled, “Guess I was lucky.”
She smiled back and your gaze met hers, your heart picked up in speed when you saw something in her warm jade eyes…something soft and—
Before you could inspect it further Cat slid past your legs to sit on the left of Ellie, separating the two of you again and almost pushing you off the couch.
Cat leaned into Ellie and you thought you saw her stiffen in the corner of your eye but when you turned to look at her she was back to normal, maybe you imagined it.
“You brought a movie?” Ellie asked, eyeing the small black rectangle on the table.
“Oh, yeah! Jurassic Park.” You leaned forward, picking it up.
“On blu-ray?” Cat snarked, “Isn’t that a little outdated.”
You looked at Ellie but she was focused on the the pizza, already downing a slice and a half.
“I think it’s fun, feels more..authentic.” You replied, noticing the small smirk that crept on to Ellie’s face.
You got up, fiddling with the small TV and DVD player like you did many times before when you and Ellie had a movie night. Finally, the movie started playing and you grabbed a bag of snacks as you eased into the beanbag instead of sitting back down on the couch.
Guess yours and Ellie’s talk could wait.
The movie droned on and Cat inevitability fell asleep on Ellie, you pulled out your phone as the scene where Donald Genarro gets eaten by a T-Rex while on the toilet started up.
You were answering snaps, liquorice hanging from your mouth when you got a text from Ellie, you looked up and saw her staring at you.
Bored?
You smiled,
We’ve seen this movie like a million times. I’m tired of watching an attorney get chomped up on the toilet. 😔
she stifled a laugh,
are u serious? 😫 that’s like the best scene.
personally, I like the end where they make it off the island.
Ofc u do 😒 always a sucker for happy endings.
You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully.
Hey can I ask u smth
ofc what’s up?
whyd you come here tonight? don’t get me wrong I’m glad u did its just. It’s been a while since I’ve heard from u and then u just like shoe up lol
shoe up? 🤨🤨
She frowned jokingly.
I’m srs.
Your fingers hovered over the letters as you thought of how to answer, you couldn’t just tell her that you’d been thinking of her aimlessly in the last month and you’d decided to push away the immense romantic feelings you had in order to at least stay friends with her now could you?
i just missed you and I thought like, why did we even stop talking in the first place, yk?
As you typed the next message you felt heat creep up your neck and your heart pick up just a tad. It wasn’t risky per say..just a little intimate.
tbh, ive been missing you the entire past couple weeks. like so fucking much 🫥
You added the emoji to soften the blow, make it seem less like you were in love with her and her absence caused a gaping hole in your life.
tbh, me too. im sorry abt that night btw. i was angry and felt betrayed and I lashed out on u even tho u were just looking out for me, and im sorry for not reaching out.
I understand and I’m sorry too. for yelling and not reaching out sooner 💗😞
I don’t forgive you.
Panic flooded your brain, was she still upset? Did she not want to be friends with you anymore? Did you wait too long to reach out? Ellie looked at your frightened face and tapped quickly, reassuring you.
Joking joking! I was gonna say i might if u come over like this more often but.. yeah 🥸
You sighed, relief washed over your body and you giggled.
u always have the worst timing.
You glanced up at her expecting to see a smile but your heart tugged at her expression, she looked..sad. The usual gleam in her jade eyes was gone and her soft lips were pulled into a solemn frown.
i know
Before you could pick apart the message a shiver jolted through your spine and goosebumps covered your neck and arms. When did it get so cold?
hey is ir kind of cold in here?
yeah the heaters busted. turns on and off 😒 i asked matinance to come take a look but yk how those mfs are.
damn..r ur blankets still in the same place?
nah i moved them a while ago they’re by the actually lemme just show u
Ellie peeled Cat off her shoulder carefully as to not wake her up and motioned for you to follow her. You got up from your seat on the beanbag and treaded quietly behind her.
She led you into her room and as she dug in the back of her closet you took in the space. It’d been too long since you’ve last been in there, you breathed in the familiar earthy-pine scent that was so inadvertently Ellie and eyed the bed you and her have had countless conversations on. Your eyes travelled to the guitar that stood against her bed frame, the wood worn from years of both her and Joel playing, she’d only played for you a couple of times and even then it was little snippets as she felt too embarrassed to play you a full song.
“Here.” Your eyes snapped back to her and the plush green blanket she held out. You were confused for a second but then you’d remembered why you came in here in the first place.
“Oh right, thanks.” You reached for the blanket but you must’ve anticipated for it to be lighter because it fell from your hand and landed with a soft thump on the floor.
She sighed playfully, reaching down to grab it, “Always a klutz, huh, bug?”
Your breath hitched at the nickname. She’d started calling you her lovebug back in elementary school to tease you since you always demanded she leave bugs and other insects alone and always opted for the piece of paper and cup method to set them free instead of her brutal method of stomp until they’re dead. The only insects she really liked were fireflies, she didn’t really have a reason..she just did.
However, she stopped calling you it when she had started dating Cat and resorted back to her regular “dude” “bro” and “man”. You forced your heart not to read too much in to her use of it, it probably just slipped out, nothing more nothing less.
She picked up the blanket and put it in your hands, placing one on top of yours to make sure you were holding it properly. And that would’ve been fine and dandy if she let go and you would’ve shuffled back to your seat on the beanbag and it would’ve been normal, and it would’ve been okay.
Only, she didn’t move her hand. She let it rest in top of yours, the heat from her body travelling to yours, igniting you in a way you don’t think was possible. You looked up to meet those familiar pools of jade, finding the same look you had seen when the two of you were on the couch; soft and wanting.
It’s funny really, you had shown up here with so much ready to say and now look at you. Completely silent, terrified that if you even breathed too loud it would shatter whatever blissful moment was going on.
But your heart battered against your chest, screaming and thrashing at you.
it’s NOW or NEVER. SAY IT, SAY IT, SAY IT!
“I like you.”
Silence. There was no echo in the room but you swore your words bounced around the walls and hung in the air.
“What?” She breathed, taking a step back.
This was wrong, you knew it was. Her girlfriend was literally less than 10 feet away and the two of you had just started talking again, but you couldn’t do it anymore. You needed to tell her, if there was even a sliver of a chance she felt the same way you were going to take it.
“I like you— more than a best friend like, and I have for a while. And I know you’re dating Cat and I get that you like her, I really do. But I can’t do this anymore, Ellie. I can’t sit and pretend I’m happy for you because I’m fucking not. Whenever I see you two together, kissing and hugging I wish it was me—fuck I wish it was me.”
“Bug,” She paused, closing her eyes briefly, “ ★..I’m dating Cat.”
“You think I don’t!—“ You paused, urging yourself to breathe and counting to ten slowly.
nine..ten.
“You think I don’t know that?” You repeated, calmer.
“★..” Ellie began but you pushed on.
“Ellie can’t you see how..how bad she is for you?”
“What?” She asked, anger lacing her voice.
“She’s hurt you time and time again, and I’m always the one who has to comfort you just for you to go back to her after a few sweet words…she doesn’t deserve you.”
“You’re not apart of my relationship you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” She spat.
You huffed, blowing out air as you tried to breathe again.
eight..nine..
“Just because you’re fucking in love with me doesn’t mean you get to come in here and act like you know a single fucking thing because you don’t.”
Fuck breathing, fuck ten.
“You stupid bitch! She doesn’t fucking care about you. Why can’t you see the one for you is me.” You yelled, then gasped at your outburst. It had taken both of you by surprise, even when you and Ellie got into the nastiest of arguments you never yelled at eachother—minus that one night a month ago. It felt good, letting out all the emotion you had harboured for so, so long.
The two of you were centimetres away, having inched closer to yell in eachothers faces but now it was quiet, except for the laboured breathing that expelled from both of you, fanning over eachothers lips.
Icy jade met the fire burning behind your eyes, the juxtaposition was so intense you thought if your heart beat any faster you’d go into cardiac arrest.
“..You’re the one for me..?” She said, a ghost of a whisper.
And It was quick, so quick you almost didn’t catch it but you did. Her eyes flitted a fraction of an inch down to your lips and fuck, it was over for both of you.
Your lips crashed into hers, her large hands found promise at the nape of your neck, pushing you closer as she slotted her mouth against yours. The blanket in your hands long forgotten as it fell back to the floor. It was heated, hungry, passionate, and desperate. Months of hate, love, frustration, and separation rolled into one long awaited meaningful kiss.
It was when her hand trailed down to your hip, pulling you flush against her body and snaking under your top to brush over your skin that ellicited a sweet noise from you and her tongue sliding across yours, that she finally pulled away, a string of saliva connecting the two of you.
“Fuck.” She breathed, her voice raspy and you bit your lip when you felt your clit pulse.
“I need to—“
“I think you—“ the two of you spoke at the same time making both of you pause.
“I need to go.” You whispered, so quiet she almost didn’t hear you.
She nodded and watched as you turned around and walked out of her room, she stayed like that, standing and barely breathing until she heard the familiar noise of her dorm door closing before she allowed herself to crumble to the floor and hang her head in her hands.
“Els?” Her head shot up, thinking you had returned but she felt guilt flood her body when her face fell in disspointment at the sight of her groggy girlfriend.
“Hey..we need to talk.” She sighed.
She really did have the worst timing.
#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams#ellie x you#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie smut#ellie fic#ellie fluff#ellie au#ellie angst
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Headcanons I love even tho they go against my main beliefs for these characters
Ace/Aro bakugou. Idk why but I just. Love it. So much. Like yes lil dude be free!!! Fuck nobody!!! You never needed bitches!!!
And especially the headcanons where he's like. Absolutely clueless about love. Like Mina will ask "so bakugou what's your type?" And he just looks confused n goes "?? You mean my blood type???"
Izuku and Katsuki being brothers. Like not literal brothers by blood but they have that brotherly bond. I actually do ship dekubaku but this headcanon is still very dear to me and I think in another universe it could work.
Like it's so funny imagining them fighting the way brothers do or being mean to each other but also having each other's backs and protecting/defending the other. I love that for them
Idk why but asexual todoroki just. Wow. I love him
I feel like he would still want a romantic relationship just without the sex part. Like he's totally cool with kissing or cuddling bc cmon there is no way in HELL this boy is not absolutely touch starved.
I feel like while Ace bakugou thinks sex is gross and is repulsed by it, ace todoroki is just indifferent to it. He doesn't rlly care or have any feelings towards it. Like ok bestie go smush your peepees together while I watch the entire Beverly Hills Chihuahua franchise
As much as I love my blorbos bakudeku together I have to admit the idea of izuku being the token straight friend in a class full of the ell gee bee tees is so fucking funny to me. Like he doesn't understand the lingo and is absolutely sweating his balls off trying not to say something offensive and it's just hilarious. He accidentally uses she/her instead of they/them once and almost commits seppuku ( a japanese style of suicide which includes disembowelment)
I'm sure he includes everyone's pronouns in their description in his notebook to make sure he remembers what to use
Nonbinary jirou just. Fits. Like idk what anyone has to say about that but look me in the eye and tell me that bitch doesn't put on a binder
They're an enby and also bisexual bc I am correct about everything.
Trans kiri just works.
If deku doesn't grow up to be tall as fuck then I will literally have a meltdown
does he not look like the tall lanky nice friend that can't even say fuck??? Look me in the eye and tell me that. Do it.
Eri grows up to be really tall
Like idk where this comes from but to me she's just. Tall. Girly doesn't get you things from the top shelf she IS the top shelf
Also I personally don't like the eri x kota ship, I think it's kinda weird to be wanting these whole ass 6 year Olds to date, idk but it makes me uncomfortable
I saw a post once that said that Ochaco would be an active memelord (back when that term wasn't cringe) and oh my god. No. This bitch wouldn't know anything.
She has a fucking flip phone I doubt she has access to motherfucking twitter
I think she'd be like Izuku where she's just absolutely clueless on the lingo and slang and feels left out when her friends reference memes she's never seen before
And even if they do take the time to send her one or two she wouldn't understand it
I also saw this in a different post but tsuyu listens to asmr
Tokoyami too
I love the black Mina headcanons but I'm filipino and so starved of representation so I'll just pretend she's half pinoy but grew up in japan so she doesn't really know much of the language (you'd be surprised how many of us don't speak our native language despite living here all our lives)
Himikos eyebags come from the many long nights she spent as a villain doing literally anything else but getting a good night's sleep. Like I know in the backstory episodes we see her with the eyebags as a child, but when I first watched the show I just assumed that that was the reason she had them, and I'll stick to that till I die
Mirio is autistic. Do not argue with me I am right.
#asexual bakugou#asexual tododoki#asexual#aroace#mha#my hero academia#mha headcanons#mha hcs#headcanons#bakugou#todoroki#midoriya#uraraka#tsuyu#tokoyami#mirio togata#toga himiko#jirou kyouka
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Darby’s crucible
Mixed format/no format exaggerated insane poetry
Bitches ain’t shit
I’m sure that’ll hit
You right on the head
hopefully drop you dead
I said
I said our lifestyle absolves you of misogyny
plain, brutal honesty
but modesty feels linked to poverty like
do I control how you think?
and I thunk really hard when the stars were out
and I was out of liquor, so I drank canned heat
and lord: I did not eat for I needed that forsaken heat
and it beat out my head over and over again
like it counted to ten then started again
tell me when it’s over again
I tell you: verily I’m barely coherent
more here than there
And you stare at my words over and over like man oh god is this guy ever sober and yes dude I am sometimes
it is October my favorite month and yes god it is October my favorite month the crunch in the leaves while the barren trees seethe like you could breathe in that sorrow for today and tomorrow
I miss my cat Darby
he hardly had anything to say
but I do miss the times we used to play
Together and I thought it would be forever
but forever is a never so sever that thought
He died in my arms
In my hands he was a little cat, understand
I felt him leave the land and expand out to heaven
I say I tell you I saw the color seven in the purple sunset that appeared the day he died like I cried so violently he had to make sure I could see that he was lonely but okay I just wish it was never today never today
I miss his black pelt, he was so voidous
That you wouldn’t notice him melt into a black chair
There were many times i sat on him
Accidentally cause I couldn’t see him clearly
cause he had his eyes closed
And I miss his sweet little nose
and his little kitten toes
and the way his eyes used to glow when the light caught it right
No lord, not tonight
Is it alright that everything has to die
when not everything has the means to cry
why
why
I say I’ll die when I say I’ll die but I’ve been saying I wanna die so much it feels like a failed first try and you wanna know why
Don’t you
like as if the Holy Ghost abandons anything true
it’s new like brand new like wow who knew
what we could do with nothing
start with destroying something
Muttering is verbal stuttering like tumbling through your choices and the voices said that the dead don’t speak so as long as you’re alive please do speak because you’ll spend an eternity sitting there like oh god if only
It is so lonely to not have a voice
choices boil down to a crown you place where you favor to burn everything now or to save it for later
waiter I wanted no ice in my ice water
can you tell me why I’m such a hater
why later is never good enough
It’s tough but I want it all now I want it all now I’m impatient it comes with being sapient because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting sating that hunger to just go where nobody knows where the wind blows sweet and the lovebirds eat where the heat of the sun is as peaceful as an unloaded gun yeah that’s where I come from
(If the stars are so far away why do they fall down when I pray why don’t they stay in a fixed position from my perspective is there a difference to the ants in my yard I am a colossus but to me myself I just exist in a terrible state of mind but find something greater when you quit being such a hater)
There’s layers there’s layers to my writing it’s not exciting to read but it is interesting to bleed on digital pages and watch the changes as words appear on my screen verily my career is a dream as I can write poetry after looking at memes that make no sense like nothing ever does post modernism is a funeral simply just because it rusts like an old train station there is simply no universal location
and if you listened to gods pacemaker placed in your chest
You’d realize you really do have it best
Miles above the rest but that is an individual observation
It is not dependent on your location
We can all come to that conclusion without losing anything at all
the egos fall is the least painful of them all,
but yet we stall because all of this just exists without meaning
lord could I tell you to visit me while I’m dreaming
and bring Darby too I miss him, and you too
Goodnight
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HAHA make sure you get your sleep!!! Gonna start working on mine too o7
And no fr….literally every panel comes with a breast comment like this is not necessary….sometimes I forget she’s 22 like that fr is so young!! They could’ve dogged on her for being an inexperienced young adult or something but no ofc it’s gotta double as fan service
HAHA no literally like as much as she hates to admit it (for now) she’s almost as tied to otoya as y/n is to Karasu…like look at the parallels we had rivals to lovers now we got enemies to lovers!! I mean y/n acted like she hated Karasu at first too soooo
I always forget about the ages the fact that Rin is so young and shidou is so old is insane like…shidou you’re beefing with someone straight out of middle school (according to the game Rin’s in 8th grade although I think that’s slightly inaccurate and they meant he was fresh out of 8th grade maybe?? But I saw that line and I was like wait what)
NO FR I can imagine him flipping out seeing an octopus crawl out of an impossibly small place or de-camouflage and LOSES IT I can imagine it’s like that “my dog don’t bite. YES BITCH IT DO” meme HAHAHA like y/n just admiring all the creatures and karasus like nuh uh. Unfortunately don’t have a Roku but I looked it up and LMAOAOAOA
Miratoya CANON FR!! Guys turns out bestie is just Mira?? Out of denial I can’t wait to see the development in the episode otoya movie blossoming romance enemies to lovers so true
I can’t believe they added that in there like GET CHIGIRI OUT OF THERE??? Use those legs run bro run I love the tabieita interactions!! Wish there were a bit more but I’ll take it <3 comepltlet forgot they have some voicelines about each other that I’ll have to take a look at later when I find them but I know for a fact Karasu has one that’s like “use yer brain ya stupid ninja!!!” LMFAOOO
I LAUGHED SO HARD FR!! Like bro cleaning up Karasus attitude is so funny like half the player interactions with him have been somewhat linked to Karasu…in another one they’re talking about kansai dialect and how Hiori’s from Kyoto (since the players trying to make sure they don’t mistakenly assume he’s from Osaka) and he goes “ah I won’t get mad if you accidentally mix it up….but I know there’s some players here from the kansai region who’d be like ‘Ya moron can’t ya tell the difference between Osaka and Kyoto??’” And then the players like WOW that was a great Karasu impression and Hioris like “anyone can do it they just have to speak Kansai dialect with a foul mouth…I don’t think being able to imitate him well is a compliment” HAHAHA
Also I saw your recent post about being the top blog in the Nagi and Karasu tag (AS YOU SHOULD!!! Feeding us well fr) but my dumbass…I clicked on the pic you included trying to tap on/look at the diff blogs and it wasn’t working and THEN I realized that it was a screenshot like omg…no wonder I was like how’s some of your text just floating below without the usual post format?? Goodbye.
-Karasu anon
thank you bby 💖 i hope you are staying well rested too!!
no yeah the breast comments are just so yuck. and YES she’s only three years older than aiku!! there’s so many other ways her character could’ve gone…she’s literally ego’s boss too i wish they would really lean into how SHE came up with bllk and how fucked up that is 😭 like everyone talks abt how ego is torturing these boys in soccer jail…what about anri?? she’s just as responsible LMAOAAO let women be morally corrupt plsss
YES EXACTLY like is she forgetting the six years of straight ‘hatred’ that existed between karasu and y/n before they got together ⁉️ she’s stuck w otoya i fear 😓 and otoya is stuck w her…both of them are peeved abt it but it’s inevitable 😫 imagine the triple dates between tabieitaken and their gfs though i bet those would be so entertaining
THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING bro shidou you are looking at colleges and this kid just left middle school PLEASEEE LEAVE HIM ALONE 😭 but to be fair there’s some middle schoolers i’d square up w sooo
y/n convinces him to go to the manta ray petting station and the instant the tip of his finger brushes against one of them he starts screaming and acting like he’s dying because he got “stung” and “these are the bitches that killed steve irwin” poor y/n gives up at that point 😭 like first of all those were stingrays and these are manta rays, and second of all she’s just going to take hiori w her next time because karasu is so embarrassing (to be fair he DID try to warn her)
miratoya is the only valid ship in blue lock let’s be real 🥱 you caught me…i actually am the bestie but from the future where i realized my true feelings for him 😈 the world is not ready for episode otoya ong it would break records because of the depth and beauty of our romance
JDDJKSDJSJ NOT THE KARASU IMPRESSION hiori is so right though he’s such a distinctive guy omg i love him sm for that 😭 please the way he’s solely known for speaking kansai and swearing a ton…that’s my man right there…poor hiori is working overtime to clear karasu’s reputation bruh he needs to be paying that poor boy or smth because ik for a fact that hiori is TIRED!!
HAHA it actually looked weird to me as well that’s why i added text below and above it!! but yeah i can’t believe i’ve rambled abt them sm that i’m now the first recommended blog under the karasu tag and in the top ten under the nagi tag 😰 but happy to provide as always 💪🏻
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Wow, The Karen-meme-is-causing-white-women-to-self-censor (oh the horror!) thread on the Two X forum is 1400+ replies and still going. I stopped after about 200, but here is some shared wisdom:
Yes. We women need to keep on speaking up and taking space. Let's normalize women being human too!!
Which women are taking up space and where? White women in feminist communities have not problem taking up space to the detriment of women of color. Even in fan spaces here, which are largely dominated by cis women, I notice whose voices are loudest. And who complains the most when they are "silenced" (read, gently criticized.)
They misappropriated a good faithed term and changed it into a new slur
Not a slur. Next.
I decided to take it as a compliment even if not meant that way.
Good for you. Live your best life or something.
If someone thinks I'm a bitch for simply speaking my mind, then it's confirmation I'm probably doing something right.
I want to know when "speaking ones mind" became conflated with being a bitch. No, really. Self-censorship isn't always bad. You know that person who never self-censors? Are they pleasant to be around? Likely not.
55 and I also dgaf. I know I’m a good person.
Whenever someone says "I'm a good person," or just a frequently, "I know in my heart I'm a good person," I want to ask "Really? How?" Good people do bad things. Not all racism -- in fact much of it -- is not overt. (Same can be said for homophobia, transphobia, etc.), and it's more damaging when it comes from these so-called "good people," our friends and families, rather than some guy with Trump flag on his lawn.
People are allowed to have bad days. Not every customer who gets upset is automatically in the wrong or a Karen. Life fucking sucks. Unless someone is screaming at and abusing a retail/food worker, they're not a "Karen" just for expressing their displeasure with a situation.
But what if your "bad day" causes someone to lose their job, or worse?
In all, "Karen" should have never been co-opted by white people. I know I've used it myself before to piss someone off, which is a terrible reason to use it and I've since stopped. I've also stopped being mad at the meme and instead am mad at the women who continue to perpetuate the stereotype.
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Dude i have to have autism there is no other reason for me to be like this.
Like i fidget (stim???) with my hair almost constantly and i have since i was 2 years old. I was at my new chiropodist to get new orthotics made and I was participating in the awkward small talk while playing with my hair, because this is an uncomfortable social situation and it's soothing. I was talking about how hard a time i've had looking for a job because she'd brought up my college. and then says like "Well you can't be doing stuff like that during your interviews because it shows your anxiety"
Anyway I burst into tears and said a lot of shit. my mind going 100 miles an hour with embarrassment and rage. The rational part of me was trying to like, educate her.
like "You are a medical professional and you can NOT talk like this to people with body focused repetitive behaviours. We are VERY AWARE and VERY ASHAMED of it and DO NOT need it pointed out." (i'm aware it's not something to be ashamed of but society ain't there yet) But of course it came out in a garbled mess because i can barely speak when i cry because i hyperventilate the whole time.
And then she kept trying to comfort me by TOUCHING my arm and I had to be like "do NOT touch me" because when i'm in this state being touched will make me flip the fuck out.
The real kicker is that i was having plaster casts of my feet done so i literally couldn't leave because the paste on my feet needed to dry. Usually when this shit happens to me i am the "just walk out" skeleton meme. and then i started laughing while crying because i was being held hostage by my feet.
Anyway while cleaning my feet off she was also tossing water everywhere and it was getting up my shorts and if i hadn't had the paper towel she gave me to do a quick intervention, it would have looked like i pissed my pants. So even though i had sorta calmed down it started up again.
By the time i had pushed everything down enough to leave and be seen in public again i had to deal with constant "I wish i was dead, I wish i was dead, I'm so fucking worthless" going around in my head. My difficulty finding a job has made me feel so fucking useless recently and her picking on me like that when I haven't even GOTTEN to the interview stage yet. Like yeah thanks for reminding me the WORST part of the job application process that i always fail at is next. Where i have to suppress the only movements and things that might actually calm me down enough to get through the damn interview.
I feel so angry about it. Once these orthotics are made I am never going back there. I had to fight the whole time to shut her down because she kept doing or saying shit that was going to set me off again. I was so close to emergency calling my mom.
And I can sit here and say "god what a bitch" but the truth is most people in the world are like that and i have to pretend like i'm like them too otherwise i'm a freak and it's bullshit and it makes life so fucking hard. It was like "Wow thanks lady for undoing years of therapy on trying to do more positive self talk. I LOVE having my NEGATIVE self talk validated from the outside."
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-> [bicth]: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
-> [ asshole ] : wow u talk in dead memes
-> [ asshole ] : what a surprise
-> [ asshole ] : anyways.
-> [ asshole ] :
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what im saying is One does not simply ignore *some* cringe. "ohhh well i used to be cringe like you but--" but what? you took an arrow to the knee? get over yourself dude. all your memes are belong to us. Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me but im gonna keep calm and carry on. the cake is a lie but comedy is NOT! im never gonna give that shit up even if it means letting u down!!! u can go run around im never deserting my memez!!! i can haz cheezburger but u NEVER will cuz ur a hater trolololololol and teh haters might tell u its a trap... but its not its just letting urself have fun XD do a barrel roll!! get ur airhorns out!!! hit the dab bitch just DO it!!! dont let your dreams be dreams!! yesterday you said tomorrow so JUST DO IT!!! *flips a bottle and lands it perfectly* dont let anyone stop u from having a good time and being swag cuz we ARE number one bro. its free real estate out here im ordering some 🅱️oneless pizza as we speak so u better squad up were raiding area 51 tonight. somebody get the music *crab rave starts playing* oh yeah its all coming together. if your dad walks in and asks "are ya winnin son?" you tell him hell yes you are. No matter how many times we get stick bugged or have to draw 25 cards in uno don't ever stahp teh memez ok!!!!!! like ermahgerd do the harlem shake already its gunna be much cool such wow. press F to pay respects to our fallen comrades who thing this is "too cringe" for them cuz haters gonna hate just like always but thats never stopped me!!! they already played me like a damn fiddle once im not falling for this "cringe culture" shit anymore!!! u tell these clowns OK boomer shut the fuck up let me live my life!!! oh fuck is there a meme parade happening here look at that its squidward dabbing!! here come dat boi oh shit!!! waddup!!!! no way here comes the star of the show. wtf u dont know who it is?? its ok ill catch u up: his name is JOHN CENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (kazoo kid starts playing) oh thats my outro music im outta time. i hope one day we can come back to this post and say damnnn daniel as we watch the numbers of awesome memez go up. thats stonks baby! this is the real way 2 live life change my mind. okay im outta here before shaggy rodgers insane godlike powers get me *gets in my thanos car and drives away*
big shoutsout to all the "cringe culture is dead!!" fellas u guys are fighting the good fight(?) but i have one critique and its that we need to get cringier. we have not gotten cringy enough yet. our cringe level should be over 9000!!!!
#yes i was genuinely writing this for almost an hour after i posted the first bit. Hope u liked it :)#muffin mumbles
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you and midnight walks
summary : in which they're so in love that it makes everyone jealous.
pairing : ben barnes x reader
warnings : language
author's note : had so much fun writing this!! hope you all like it <33
tagged : @mrsben-barnes @ellora-brekker @slut4benbarnes
masterlist
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liked by tchalamet, freddycarter1, kittheyounger and 3,428,926 others
y/n_ when you're giving him the silent treatment but then HE starts to give YOU the silent treatment<<<
tagged benbarnes
98,628 comments
username dump him, marry me
username he looks so good
username yeah ben wtf
daniellegalligan_ smh ben
username i love them so much your honour
benbarnes i'm sorry, please let me in now
-> y/n_ no
-> benbarnes i made you coffee
-> y/n_ opening the door as we speak
username their relationship>>>
username he's so beautiful
jessie_mei_li forget him, let's date, i'll give you all the attention you want bb
-> y/n_ benbarnes bye, i love you jessie
username 🦋🦋🦋
freddycarter1 did you let him in? he's been texting me constantly
-> y/n_ yeah i did, it's so hard to stay mad at him
jacktwolfe you guys>>>
username ❣️❣️❣️
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liked by y/n_, lewistanofficial, amitasuman_ and 3,628,528 others
benbarnes wife appreciation post cause she deserves it. thank you so much for making everyday feel like a dream, i love you <3
tagged y/n_
98,827 comments
username im sobbing
username them them them them them them them them them them
username they invented being in love
kittheyounger stop making all of us feel single, it's not pleasant
username when will it be my turn?!
amitasuman_ the happiest, the most beautiful and loving person i know 🦋🌙
username me on my knees for y/n y/l/n and y/n y/l/n only
username 🛐🛐
username ben 🤝 everyone : simping for y/n
username he loves her so much i can't-
lewistanofficial 🤍🤍🤍
username me @ god for not giving a soulmate : 🖕🏼
jessie_mei_li 💟💟
y/n_ ahhhhhsjhdjsks i love you so much, thank you for being in my life and making it infinite times better
-> benbarnes ❤️❤️❤️
calahan.skogman you guys 🤍✨
username 💕💕
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liked by jacktwolfe, archierenaux3, benbarnes and 4,729,529 others
y/n_ you and midnight walks with you are my favourite <3
tagged benbarnes
101,268 comments
username alexa play late night talking by harry styles
username wow, i feel so single rn
username hahaha i hate this hahaha
daniellegalligan_ my loves 💕
freddycarter1 where are you both? your bf is needed on set
-> y/n_ we're getting ice cream, we'll be there
-> freddycarter1 niceee get me cookies and cream. and mint choco chip for jack
-> y/n_ ofc
username fuck romeo and juliet, i want what these bitches have
tchalamet y'all make me sick with love
lbardugo babies 🦋🦋
username no one simps for ben more than y/n and no one simps for y/n more than ben
username their love for eachother is all i want in life
benbarnes these talks about random things with you are my favourite :)
-> y/n_ sameee i love them so much, it's so interesting to hear you talk about memes and how important they are to society
username i wanna hear ben talk about memes
username ben and y/n>>> everyone else
jessie_mei_li making me wanna get in a relationship
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benbarnes happy happy happy birthday to the love of my life <3
tagged y/n_
99,628 comments
username HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN
username Y/N SUPREMACY>>>
username she's so pretty wtf
daniellegalligan_ my wife's birthday :)
username 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
username i love her i love her i love her i love her i love her i love her i love her i love her i love her i love her i love her i love her
username she's so beautiful, ben's so lucky
y/n_ omg i love you!! thank you so much <333
-> benbarnes i love you more <3
username brb gonna cry
jacktwolfe on my way with freddy and kit
username 🥳🥳🥳
username the queen's birthday ayyyy
username her style is top tier
amitasuman_ 💋❣️🦋💕
lbardugo happy birthday to my favourite child <3
username ✨🤍
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#social media au#social media imagines#social media fics#requested#ben barnes#ben barnes blurbs#ben barnes au#ben barnes imagine#ben barnes fic#ben barnes fanfiction#ben barnes one shot#ben barnes x fem!reader#ben barnes x actress!reader#ben barnes x you#ben barnes x y/n#ben barnes x reader#ben barnes fluffy#ben barnes blurb fluff#fake social media#fake social media au#shadow and bone x reader#shadow and bone cast
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☕️ American SFF
wow so how long ago did I do this meme? too long probably to be answer this ask now is probably the answer, but I found it in my drafts and felt like it, so sue me. and also I have fresh hot spicy opinions* on this now so *fingerguns* here goes
So I’ve been looking over “most anticipated” lists for 2022, and...I think I referenced a while ago the way that I’m feeling kind of detached/alienated from the state of much of the new SFF coming out right now (at least, that gets a lot of press/attention), and I’m still very much feeling that - it seems like what is “in” right now is just not what works for me.
To elaborate on that a little - I feel like some of it can be summed up by my reflexive grimace whenever I hear the word “hopepunk,” or the fact that as far as I’m concerned Becky Chambers has overstayed her welcome by several books, or the fact that I am very tired of reading book blurbs that talk about how sweet and tender and soft it is.
It seems as though (and this is anecdata and personal, please don’t take me as an authority) there’s an impulse in SFF lately to offer stories that serve as solace or comfort - that, if they’re not utopias, gesture toward the concept. I can understand that impulse, certainly - the world is a mess, things are scary and miserable and, per Tolkien, it is peoples’ right to want to escape that and find reassurance where they can. And some of it, too, is I think a correction/backlash against “grimdark” works. Which...yeah, grimdark was a Thing, and it was a thing that drove me nuts, but I also feel like the definition (as with so many things) gradually expanded to cover a lot of ground, and became sort of “dismissive way of categorizing a thing I don’t like” sometimes. Consequently, from my perspective it feels like an overcorrection. It feels...toothless. It feels like the book version of the sensation of trying to squeeze a very soft pillow.
Of course this doesn’t cover everything on the shelves, but when I turn the other way what I find is a lot of stuff that feels very...Single Dude Protagonist, if that makes sense as a shorthand. And that’s not what I want either! I just find that boring; generally speaking there’s not a lot there to draw me.
And the thing is that I feel like I can’t talk about this, because people are going to hear it as, like, me bitching about SFF becoming a more diverse publishing field, the uptick in books with queer characters and romances, more mind being paid to how things like race and gender are handled. That’s the association that I feel like gets made, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I think about that genre of Tumblr post that was like “why would you ever put homophobia in your fantasy world, that’s horrible.” It’s this idea that writing darkness into a fictional world, writing pain and suffering and inequality, is somehow perpetuating the wrongs of the real world, as opposed to it being a way of examining those things, responding to those things. Not just I read this to cope or whatever but I read this because it gives me something to think with.
I feel like there was this brief window of time where there was this influx of writers and books that were doing some very interesting things with the genre, particularly thematically. I think of Broken Earth, and Imperial Radch, and The Traitor Baru Cormorant, and Machineries of Empire, and Divine Cities. Books that were grappling with heavy shit, that could hurt you, that offered a challenge of one kind or another. But now...I just feel like I don’t see those kinds of works popping up as much anymore.
This isn’t universal, obviously! The Poppy War and its sequels came out recently and certainly were not this; same with the Green Bone Saga. There are still books coming out that are wrestling with the kind of things that I want to read about, that feel like something I can sink my teeth into, and that sink their teeth into me. But I feel like they’re getting harder and harder for me to find.
*citation needed
#anyway this got longer than i expected whoops#lise has opinions#sometimes i read things#actual english major lise#(sort of)#conversating#elwing#opinions meme
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BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left
Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.
Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.
oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters
okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow
this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol
HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR
BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend
anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest
BABY HAWKS
swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck
AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY
don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz
then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either
omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy
and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there
so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys
wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??
this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him
OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD
how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao
anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already
YAY
oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you
anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement
LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”
AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~
lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE
anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...
...
SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god
THANK YOU!!
and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE
OH YAY THE PRESENT
so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know
BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES
“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can
look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile
again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans
NOOOOO
FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE
anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later
OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS
wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao
(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)
NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations
lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE
fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two
LMAO NOW WHAT
TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN
okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now
uh oh
won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???
WOW
well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus
and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic
anyway so this is an interesting panel here
man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite
anyway so what are these guys up to
fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON
?? wait she’s not there?
is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well
OH MY GOD
RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE
ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT
GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON
and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi
YEAH BOIIIIII
“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?
oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE
oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times
wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”
“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS
:’)
yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS
and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it
SON!!!!
“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??
AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT
you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello
#bnha 299#takami keigo#hawks (bnha)#best jeanist#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#I found peace in your violence#can't tell me there's no point in trying#I'm at one#and I've been quiet for too long
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the demon bros + (un)dateables drunk
tw for drinking so if you’re not into that yeah be warned. also there’s some mentions of horniness because uhhh,,,ya know
Lucifer
normal soft drunk
it’s neither too easy nor too hard to get him drunk
also his drink of choice is probably wine really really expensive wine
he has a pretty high tolerance but not as high as his party animal bros
since it looks like he drinks pretty often if you look at all the alcohol in his mancave study
it’s canon he’s a soft drunk??? which,,,, cute
but also chaotic af
i feel like he just reverts to angel lucifer? the really cute innocent baby that’s also very, very chaotic (think of lesson 37+ luci which i only saw screenshots of but still)
expect him to do a 180: if he’s a stern emotionally constipated dad sober drunk luci is basically him with 0 filters but a lot of emotion
he’ll make weird dad jokes, tell people he cares about them, ask dumb dumb questions that he thinks about daily but never voices
“ok mc but what is lol actually and why does levi say that all the time. wait why are you laughing… lots of love? ok then I send you lol”
prefers to drink with close friends and family only because he knows how he gets when drunk
will not admit it but he enjoys being able to feel so?? free and say whatever he wants since he feels like he can’t normally
Mammon
heavy weight hyper puppy
he has a pretty high alcohol tolerance probably since he’s into partying
also he knows his limits because of past experiences
but sometimes limits are made to be broken
and once they’re broken oh boy
drunk mammon is just him but hyper
or more like even more hyper
i feel like he’d become as excited as a golden retriever on redbull in the first 4 hours
dancing with everyone, making crack jokes, getting into weird situations
and then if he drinks a liiitle bit too much
he’d just break down
and cry
and be an emotional mess
which ends up in him crying over your/ his bros’ shoulder telling everyone he loves them
and then end up falling asleep
so you have to take turns carrying him to bed and make sure he’s safely tucked in with a glass of water close by
you don’t mind though since usually he makes sure you get home safe when you go drinking
Leviathan
heavy weight emotional drunk 100%
another boy that sleeps near a bottle of alcohol so he probably drinks regularly
if you’re in your room all day it’s pretty easy to just do it since you’re safe so he does it whenever he feels like it
this jealous boy can fake being chill while sober but once you get him drunk expect tears, angry rants, yelling, semi-public mental breakdowns
you always end up having to put him into bed while he cries on your shoulder all the while you try to lift this surprisingly heavy boy into his bathtub bed
but also since he’s the most artistic of the family I bet sometimes he does art while drunk?
you once went to his room trying to return a manga you took and oh no levi is painting a 2 meters ruri mural while he’s in the nude
don’t question it it helps him concentrate
sometimes sad bitch energy mixed with alcohol equals great things
he’s also in the lowkey horny drunk category
what can you do it happens when you’re a touch starved nerd,,, all alone in your room,,, drinking
Satan
light weight happy drunk
two glasses of wine and he’s gone
remember like all cards with satan drinking? yup he’s a happy drunk
if sober he’s like ugh partying is for nerds
drunk satan just wants to party with everyone
and vibe
he’ll invite everyone to take group shots, dance all night, do weird shit that ends up being photographed (to his next day hungover dismay)
he’s terrible at club dancing but he will be found in the middle of the dancefloor going wild
expect embarrassing dancing at first
but if you want to correct him he won’t say no to dancing with you more,,, intimately
may or may not grab your hands and start waltzing at some point though
(you think it’s great he’s so happy and free so it doesn’t matter)
Asmodeus
heavy weight horny drunk
has the highest alcohol tolerance since he’s the party animal of the family
lmao what did you expect
drink of choice is probably devilgrammable cocktails: fun, sexy, colorful just like him
he’s the definition of babe let’s drink so we can have wilder sex
loves how oversensitive he feels while drunk??? and how his senses get overwhelmed
will moan out loud if he bumps into a table while drunk no shame, no regrets
and dance really lasciviously with whoever catches his eye
if you’re romantically involved not only will he grind into you or let you do so with him
but expect lap dances
if you surprise him with lap dances instead expect to be,,,, rewarded wink wink
but if you do something meaningful for him or give him tthoughtful compliments
he will go into his emotional mode and literally hug you and never let go
...and you’ll have to spend your night in his arms while he tells you all about how he thinks you’re perfect for him and how thankful he is that you’re in his life
expect some tears in those moments (that he tries to hide while you casually pretend they’re not there in the first place)
Beelzebub
idk normal tolerance and emotional drunk
since he’s HUGE it’s probably not super easy to get him drunk but also since he doesn’t really drink much it’s not hard either
talks about issues and cries
a lot
so he doesn’t drink all that much
and only does it with his family
him and belphie always end up cuddling and falling to sleep together if they both get drunk since they are both emotional messes when alcohol is involved
and you join them too if you’re drinking with them
Belphegor
heavy weight emotional drunk but on the angry side
like his twin but he probably...drinks more?? he’s such a sad bitch I mean c’mon
like his bro he’s an emotional drunk
sad crying, angry crying, just crying
that’s him that’s what you get into if you tell him to drink with you
will get in the stabby mode if too drunk
so don’t let him drink too much if you value your and his life
...rather cuddle him until he gets too comfy and warm and falls asleep
works every time
Diavolo
normal tolerance sleepy drunk
is used to drinking because of social gatherings and high class etiquette but he doesn’t indulge often
since he mostly drinks with luci, barbatos and you
high key prefers sweet cocktails instead of normal fancy drinks
i bet if you took him to the club he’d want to try out the weirdest most colorful cocktails
and then make barbatos redo them
can hold his liquor but he’s still a sleepy boy? like alcohol probably calms him and he’s just so comfortable and at peace he just,,, naps with his head on your shoulder (or luci’s, or barbatos’ depends who he’s drinking with or who’s closest to him at the moment)
if he’s in the club though it’s a different story
he goes full dad mode
doing all the embarrassing dad dances but proudly
remember the meme with prince william or whatever in the club? that’s him
A+ for effort though he really becomes the life of the party
Barbatos
heavyweight vodka aunt
doesn’t really get drunk drunk since he has to take care of diavolo 24/7
but once it’s self care day
oh boy
he turns into a single suburbian mom
you’d think he’s the sophisticated wine mom but oh no
closes all doors and windows, puts on a hot bath with scented oils, lights candles, plays soft jazz in the background
and then drinks straight liquor out of the bottle
(like that one vine)
if you’re close and drink together he’ll also talk a lot more than usual
and give you fun stories about the bois and diavolo
“mc did i tell you about the first week lucifer and his brothers came to the devildom and had to cook for themselves for the first time in their lives? lucifer did not know how an oven works and that you have to close it after you’re done cooking and almost burned the whole house of lamentation down.”
Simeon
light weight spaced out drunk
do not give him alcohol unless you want to experience weird random xD simeon
physically he’s here, spiritually he’s astral projecting
looks the same, smiles handsomely, no change here
...but if you try talking to him he’ll say the weirdest shit like
“mc do you think that the stars know that they are loved and we watch them every day”
uh idk simeon??? what do you think???
if you’re romantically involved he will flirt shamelessly, even more shamelessly than usual
because,,, he’s just more honest so he just says whatever
people get uncomfortable around you two and end up backing off and leaving you alone
surprising enough or not he looks like he’s also a lowkey horny drunk
ofc you can’t tell since he’s so chill all the time
but I bet you he’s horny inside hornier than asmo
Solomon
heavyweight deep drunk
this boy has done some drinking in his lifetime
...since he has whiskey grandpa vibes
will say really out of the blue thoughtful things??? which is so not like sober solomon
“mc you remind me of one of the people that meant the most to me they too were here for me and believed in me when no one else did and I have to thank you for that”
wow solomon that sure was random since you were talking about how cold it is outside before but thank you i guess
fakes being not drunk easily but you can tell the moment he starts speaking that he’s gone
also looks at you straight in the eyes when he talks to you
and sometimes starts giggling or blushing
which makes you go??????? solomon are you okay
#oh yeah if you drunk do so in moderation and be safe#i felt like mentioning that#mine#my post#i love drunk people lowkey so have this#i had this in my drafts and thought yes it s the moment to post this#esp since the holidays are coming#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me headcanons
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Lady Boss ⟿ Levi Ackerman x reader
Vanilla, somewhat of a quicky, consensual, office fucking, boss.
1,722 words
Strutting down the halls with the upmost frustration, blood boiling, your veins pulsating through your angry fists. You couldn’t fathom how you were getting blamed for something you didn’t do.
Being the ‘mistress’ or in other words overseer for these excuses of men who all thought they deserved to be at a higher- scratch that; they were too fucking stupid to be as good as me.
So what if my brother - Jean, put me in the position I’m in today, but he didn’t just let me sit on my high horse, I needed to do work. ‘Who’d she sleep with to get that promotion?’
SMACK!
“That’s what you get for being a fucking peon. Go make yourself useful like cleaning the bottom of my feet.” The group of men cease speaking. You shake off your hand, you were not afraid to discipline these fuckups.
“So-”
“Sorry what was that? Speak up!” I shout. They sigh in defeat. ‘Someone put her in a mood today’ they simultaneously think in their heads. They hated your attitude, especially on these days.
“Sorry...damn.” That’s right, you thought to yourself, you let out a sigh and continue walking quickly down the large hallway of offices, our ... business was more or less a money laundering business, we were discreet and powerful. We racked in tons of cash and had plenty of allies.
You reach the large double door, slamming your fist against them a few times, you tapped your foot in anticipation.
“Well if it isn’t the biggest fuckup of the day, actually; month.” Chairman Levi scoffs, slowly letting you into the office. He moves back to his desk and you slam the door.
“You act like this was my fault. Your men are fucking stupid.”
“Your men actually, fun fact, you’re in charge of them. Therefore my hands are clean of this mess.”
“You act like I can babysit 25 men to hold a few wads of cash.” You snort, slamming paperwork onto his desk.
“And I’ll say it again, it is not my problem.” He crosses his arms, his body leaning against the windowsill, he was too cocky. You hated him, but you knew you needed to get out of this.
“It was actually twenty five thousand... hey, what do you think you’re in here for? To yell at me for your wrongdoings? I should demote you. I might as well make that call now-”
“Wait- uh.” I didn’t think before speaking, sounding weak on the spot, he stuffs his phone back in his slacks.
“How do you intend on fixing this mess?” He stands, slowly unbuttoning his black blazer, he was so toned.
“I’m a smart woman; I’ll figure this out without your input thank you.” Such a nasty attitude, on days where you two could cut the tension with a knife, days like this where his disgust towards you strengthened. How your hateful words spewed from your mouth. You’re a woman for god’s sake, act like it.
He drops his blazer so it hangs off his chair, he wanted you to feel intimidated of what he could do to you at anytime.
“Here’s the deal-” his finger points at you lazily and it taunts you, he drops his crossed arm stance and sits in his tall leather chair, “you can come here and I’ll help you, or I’ll let Jean now how much of an incompetent bitch you are, your choice.”
You pondered, you could possible wiggle your way out of Jean finding out; Levi reaches for the desk phone and begins dialing Jeans extension to his office, your heart drops, I quickly move towards him and grab his wrist and the neck of the phone, hanging it up before it could ring.
“See, you are a smart girl, I love it when you actually listen to me.” He chuckles, I mock him and wait to be dismissed, “take that off.”
What? What the fuck was he doing, your mouth drops open in utter shock, it was a mix of a dream come true and something ripped out of an erotic novel.
“Take what off?-”
“Your shirt.” He says matter of factly, the lump in your throat freezes while he does it himself, tired of him waiting for you to strip and get down on your knees.
Painfully, he looks down at you while he unbuttons each and every blouse button, your heart pounded; he was not close enough. You shoved the dirty thoughts to the back of your head, you needed to regain power.
“What are you going to do for me Mr. Ackerman?” You hold back his hands, he smirks.
“I’ll loan you the twenty five, you just gotta remember to pay me back babe.” ‘Oh fuck yes’ you secretly became excited to his words, this meant no Jean.
You shrug off your blouse, revealing the pinkish-nude lace bra you had on, he stares in awe at your perky boobs, they sat so nice. Countless thoughts ran his head, labeling every part of your body... ‘I’ll do this, and this’
“Liking what you see Lev-”
“You think just because I’m going to fuck you; that you can call me by my first name?”
“Sorry sir.” He turned you around, forcibly holding down the side of your head against the cold desk while he took his time once again, staring at every part of your body, he was in fucking love.
His body hot, you wanted to stand up and rip his clothes off him like the feral slut you were for him. You wanted to be his little toy, do whatever you want to me sir.
“You should keep wearing skirts to work, easy access.” He rubs your butt with his tough hands, he pushes up your skirt and the matching panties gave it away.
“Sir, let me help you.” You stand quickly and he takes a tiny step back, allowing you to speedily unbutton and you practically rip it off him, god he was so incredibly sculpted. As they say, god spent extra time on this one.
“Stop drooling,” you snap out of your trance and fiddle with his belt, unhooking it. He throbbed, his meme er begged to be fucked by you and Levi was too excited to see you.. and hear you, and taste you.
He doesn’t allow you to drop to your knees, ‘you’re too good for that’ he told himself, he wanted to see you fall apart beneath him.
“Just hurry up and fuck me then.” His eyes widen, his smirk grows as he pushes you back over onto the desk, bending you in half while he quickly moved your panties to the side. He was about to indulge.
You let out a squeal the moment he pushes himself into you, you sucked him in, he knew it was all too dangerous to fuck you now, you were going to have him pussy whipped.
It seems as if he has more and more to stuff you with; reaching spots previous men couldn’t reach, surpassing all nerves that you even knew existed.
“Wow- Sir.” You’re taken aback, you gasp when his hips finally clap against your ass and thighs, he was in all the way, you were fucking stuffed.
Swears fly from Levi’s mouth as he takes time with the first few thrusts, pumping out and back in; in and out in and out.
“I could be in this pussy ass day, my god, you’re clenching so hard.” He groans, he picks up the pace as he pulls apart your ass cheeks to fill you up as much as possible. Your spongey walls contacted and gushed around his big cock while your eyes rolled tot he back of your head in complete pleasure.
“Hmm it feels so good sir, please keep fucking me like this, I need it.” You moan, he follows your orders, he needed to move your position, he needed easier access to this goddess of a body, goddess of a pussy.
You both went into the office separate days of the week, rarely seeing each other.
“You know-” Levi pounds into you, “if our deal upholds, I need to be able to fuck you anytime I want.” His breathing ragged.
“Yes sir I understand.” You moan, mouth jammed open, your legs slowly wanting to give out as he takes you to different heights, this was gonna be a earth shattering orgasm.
He bit onto his bottom lip to stop himself from sounding like a moaning mess under your spell, you were dripping wet, it felt like a palace between your walls, silk sheets, sliding in and out, not easily. You were so tight he didn’t know what to do with you.
“S-sir I’m about to come.” You whine, pushing yourself against his cock, he lets out a tense breath of air, not expecting you to do the work for him.
“Then come.” Levi grabs the other hip, kicking apart your legs further and fucking you senselessly, you were a drooling mess.
Your body contacts once again, he slows down slightly while still fucking you hard with those powerful thrusts. You cream all over his dick, he’s starstruck by feeling those spasms and seeing your helpless body grasp behind her onto your wrist, it was enough to send you flying over the edge.
You release your seed into her, holding still for a few moments and pulling out making sure it seeps into every crevice in her pussy. Seeing both her and your come drip from her beautiful cat. It was a sight to see alright.
Levi’s muscles are weak, he needs to catch his breath, sit down. You wore him out so good just from those ten minutes of him tearing you apart. The same goes for you, you relax your body and breathe heavily whilst slowly picking up your panties from your ankles and pulling them up, tugging down your skirt and trying to limit your leg movement, afraid of not being able to walk.
You two stood in silence, redressing and regaining composure, “you have a very nice dick sir.” You purr in his ear, he thinks about other things to prevent him from getting hard again.
Glancing at his watch, he knows he’s off the clock, “come on, you’re coming home with me.” He grabs his belongings and you do the same. You were absolutely thrilled.
“Yes boss.” Giggling, you follow behind him closely, halls empty so no one would suspect a thing.
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RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 12 "Dorkus"
"I think you did it."
"These morons need someone to tear them a new one."
"I am going to write the missive to end all missives."
"I don't want your first time to be with a murderer."
"I love you. I would never, ever hurt you."
"I promise you're safe. That was part of the deal."
"You could never be touched."
"How many lives could you have saved?"
"Our mission never involved killing anyone."
"And it's not just wearing raw chickens on their heads and calling each other gay slurs while jumping around naked."
"It was a conspiracy."
"Stop rationalizing it. You killed people. You are not allowed to just say, "yeah, but I had a super good reason for it."
"Who did you kill?"
"What, are you gonna kill me now?"
"I would never hurt you. I just can't let you leave."
"If you could just stop, hear what I have to say, to understand---please--why I did what I did, you could still love me."
"Don't try to justify it all after the fact."
"They showed up one day thinking that I was a double agent, that I couldn't be trusted. They were going to kill me."
"Hey, hey, you can trust me, you can trust me! Ask me and I'll do anything. I'll prove it."
"Don't you see that they did that on purpose?! They knew that if you actually killed someone, you would be their slave!"
"We were the good guys. We were in this together!"
"I did this for you. Don't you understand?"
"The more I hear about this whole thing, the more I'm starting to think the idea that there are good and bad people in the world is just something adults use to get children to stay in line."
"I mean, aren't we being naive?"
"You took me literally?"
"You are already a murderer, [NAME], you don't have to be a douche as well!"
"This is not a philosophy course. This is murder-- serial murder!"
"I was so young and desperate to be special and loved."
"I never had a real girlfriend before."
"I was vulnerable enough to share my darkest fetish with you, and now you're making me feel self-conscious."
"Just come in and take me now."
"You are ridiculously and laughably gullible."
"What self-respecting man wouldn't do anything to get revenge for being degraded like that?"
"Unfortunately, I don't have great aim with a crossbow and I can't see anything in that mask."
"I don't want to be here anymore."
"I feel sick. This isn't what I wanted."
"Don't judge me for what we both know had to happen."
"You know what? Let's just run away together. You and me. Forget everything."
"Don't you see what I'm willing to do for you?"
"No! I don't want to speak to your supervisor!"
"I've gotten zero swipes on my profile!"
"Do you remember any aspect of this super simple plan?"
"I literally think you should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries/testicles, thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA."
"I mean, I'm all for public shaming. I practically invented it. It's the sign of a healthy culture. But not when I'm the one getting shamed."
"I wanted to be famous, but not like this."
"To all the so-called mainstream media, including weird web sites that nobody has heard of who have used my name as clickbait, and to all the relentless unwashed hordes on Twitter, who have taken every opportunity to mock and attack me mercilessly from the safety of their stained futons, I offer the following heartfelt sentiment. You can all suck it!"
"Despite my outward bravado, I was dead inside."
"I knew my glamorous reign of terror was over."
"I ordered an asp online so I could kill myself like Cleopatra, and now I'm just waiting for it to sense my body heat and come out and bite me so this will all be over."
"I understand that what you're going through is really intense. And I know you and I haven't really always seen eye to eye, And you say crazy-mean stuff to me all the time. And I have a real problem with your casual racism,
which is something we need to work on. But, girl, I promise I got your back."
"You're young, smart and beautiful, and you got a lot of living ahead of you."
"Maybe this is one of those teachable moments, you know? Like my grandmama says. Maybe this is where you learn the lesson that words really mean something and they can hurt people, so you just can't always say the first horrible thing that pops into your head all the time."
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Get me out of this suit!"
"What the hell is going on? Who is that guy?"
"Everyone on campus but me is a dork!"
"I'm gonna explode."
"When I woke up, I was wrapped in dynamite!"
"Oh, my god, it's a bomb."
"Yes, a totally innocent man who seemed super nice and probably did nothing wrong at all just got blown up in our living room. Bummer. Now, let's honor his memory by moving on."
"Can you not make it about you for one second?!"
"Stop wallowing and start concentrating on what's really important here--restoring my reputation."
"I need to go on an apology tour. You know, like celebrities, when they say something offensive, they just go on tv and apologize, and everybody forgives them, even though they don't mean it at all."
"I'm gonna fake apologize, you'll record it, we'll post it online, and it'll all be fine."
"But I thought that you said that you weren't the person who put the acid in the spray tanner."
"Why do you think the devil let me live?"
"I think you saw what you wanted to see."
"You can't kill people from a loving and positive place."
"Invasion of the dad bod snatchers."
"If it's good enough for the CIA, it's good enough for me."
"Get ready to make the most important playlist of your life."
"Well, I decided to stop denying what you and I both knew the minute we laid eyes on each other. And once I did, something inside of me, I don't know, it just, just clicked. And I guess I just wanted to get a little crazy."
"So you just decided to break into my house in the middle of the day?"
"I've been a very bad boy."
"I'm just trying to figure out what your angle is. What are you trying to get out of this?"
"You know what I'm trying to get? 45 minutes alone, so I can go crazy on you."
"Turn out the lights!"
"These are my minions."
"Those are the hounds."
"How do you know I'm not the killer?"
"This whole file is made up."
"Somebody just swiped right on me on Tinder."
"Any guy swiping right on you is a miracle."
"You want a drag?"
"That was the best sex of my life."
"I think you're just relieved to find out that intercourse doesn't have to be followed by hours and hours of crying and a weird purchase of an engagement ring."
"Look, I never knew sex could be like that. At first, I was like, I was like, "wow, she's being really loud. Are the neighbors gonna call the police?" And then I was like, "wow, now I'm being really loud. why am I screaming so much? They're definitely gonna call the police." And then I was just stunned at how flexible you are. I mean, I thought you had to be a gymnast to get both feet behind your head."
"I just think that maybe you and I were meant to be together after all."
"I find her unbearably annoying."
"I recognized the island splash scent of that douche you use."
"What movie are you even referring to?"
"Don't patronize me. I look like a monster."
"Well, have you thought of a little plastic surgery?"
"What are you doing? I thought you came here to apologize."
"I apologize for nothing."
"All evidence points to you."
"I know it was you. Have fun in hell, bitch. And fyi, this is probably gonna hurt a lot."
"Stop recording!"
"I knew that bitch was a nut burger the minute I met her."
"But remember, she's armed and dangerous."
"Oh, please tell me you did not bring your insane and obviously blind Tinder hookup back here."
"I lost my virginity to a Nickelback song."
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