#or before really
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inching my way into completing this patreon gift. honestly all thats really left is to edit my last snake and him together. if i wanna be real fancy add a little more shading. but thats gonna take some time, so for now heres the ota to the sune
Full on my patreon
#otacon#hal emmerich#the art of a lemon wedge#IM HOPING TO GET THIS DONE BY CHRISTMAS#or before really#once i visit my fam theres a huge pause button i gotta press on anything nsf w#u_u#most interesting thing to me is that mgs 2 otacon has my least favorite haircut AND YET#i always think im gonna hate drawing it but#its not even that different than how i usually draw his hair#EYE feel it tho#that and his circle glasses#i guess the real question is why do i even bother to draw those changes if theyre not my favs?#and thats because i respect his eras#anyways
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Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?
Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".
My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.
#information death of the internet etc#legit this has been SO SO helpful#shout out to mastodon infosec server for this one#before 2022 we did not really have the AI-content-farms because. the tech did not exist to the public.#and you can knock back the date if need be#obviously this does not FIX the problem but#me.txt
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"I love you , I'm glad we're friends"
#web weaving#webweaving#a-study-in-bullshit#friendship#on friendship#i love my friends#are u really friends if u havent offered to eat them out before??#i think not
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thinking about ford "human blood tastes better" pines
ford "i have been desiring blood more than usual" pines
stanford "was bitten by a fruit bat but still wrote the sentence 'i have been desiring blood more than usual'" pines
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#what is WRONG with him jfkdlsjklsa#he and bill really WERE made for each other. lord alive man.#ford how many different types of blood have you definitely not sampled to have a distinct ranking in which human blood is the best#ford you wrote this BEFORE you went insane. ford.#this was you at your normalest. comparatively speaking.
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#funny talking tag#My favorite thing to do is HC characters as trans but also that they've never heard that term before and act accordingly.#My other favorite thing to do is make characters repressed.#My other other favorite thing to do is make a character go ''I feel like a(n) object/animal/thing pretending to be a man/woman''#''but I don't really care about that right now I have a job''#Anyway while this post can be about whichever characters you feel fit I made this with a certain character in mind.#(Dimentio of SPM fame) (He has something really specific going on that makes me cackle) (You can ask me about it)#(Also Morceau Oleander is a trans woman to me because she would be happier)#(and she deserves to live a life not defined by other's expectations of her)#Someone put a forbidden and ancient curse on this post so no more.
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thought that one Alastor scene would look cool in comic lettering, so i drew this
#i almost can't believe it's only my first time drawing adam#despite him being one of my fav character#he's such an asshole i love him your honor#the last panel is really a 2 seconds before disaster kinda thing aiugzhekjiu#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin hotel#alastor#adam#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel adam#comic#myart
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will anyone see this 😕 hai..
#fanart#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#art#geto suguru#gojo satoru#satosugu#jjk art#my art#ive never posted on here before and ive kinda been prolonging it? lol?#im really scared of tumblr
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#going through my drafts rn bc im looking for sth and idk if i ever posted this before#but like so true @ me from june 2023#cavetext#fwiw im p sure i made this w mitchell and the wolf shaped bullet in mind but who knows really#ive seen a few ppl tag this w unreality warning so to make sure:#unreality cw#tw unreality#unreality#i hope that covers it? idk the common tags for this im trying my best#muted post
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Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!
(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)
#HEALED FIDDLEFORD HAS ME BOUNCING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS!!!!!!! GIVE THE MAN A BRIGHT HAPPY FUTURE!!! FUCK!!!!!#I don't know how i'm coming off right now#when i say that i've been super manic about them for the past week I really mean it#guys Idk but I think I might be fiddlestans number one fan#I liked this pairing before book of bill and after reading it it only solidified things#IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A CRACK SHIP TO ME!!!!!!!!#fiddlestan#gravity falls#anyway this is supposed to be them the next summer#stan is working the shack to tutor soos for tourist season#fiddleford has changed while the twins were on the stan o war#STAN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL AT FIRST and they have a lot of shit to work through from their past before they can start making out dksjds#sketchbook#traditional art#pencil drawing#traditional drawing#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls fanart
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[mob killing noises] BAM!!!!1111!!
#goodtimeswithscar#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#ldshadowlady#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#life series spoilers#traffic smp#trafficblr#my art#HI THIS TOOK TOO LONG KJASDKLAJWKJAWEAWHAH#i tried to go for this very specific pop graphic style and disintegrated in the process#also the composition took three tries#very logicial thing to do 2 days before a midterm ik#HSJKDAEPFELELP HOPE U GUYS LIKE IT :D#i love the bamboys winners pov. bamboys i believe you in you together you are stronger <- incredibly delusional#listen it would be *REALLY* FUNNY#such a great team tho fr WOOOOOOO
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How Bill was defeated and captured by Ford in my Gf AU! He basically just tricked Bill into accepting a deal that trapped him within Ford's mind and under his control :]
He may have gotten a little out of hand though....
>:)
Next post :]
#i am on a ROLL these days so have one last comic before I peace out for like another month or so#I KNOW I keep forgetting to draw Ford's sixth finger and I am SORRY alr#something something toxic relationships can lead you to adopt some negative attributes#and behaviors both as a shield to the abuser but also as a sword#Bill pushed Ford too far and Ford pushed back- what can I say?#my art#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls au#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#bill cipher#gravity falls bill#billford#<-kinda?? not really??#tw eyestrain#tw scopophobia#tw eye contact#tw graphic violence#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU
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David Tennant being a lifelong Doctor Who fan who was inspired by the show to act, becoming the Doctor and Ncuti Gatwa who watched David Tennant and was inspired to act, playing the Doctor opposite David’s Doctor is the most beautiful thing
#This is a fanboy moment of immense proportions#Also they are both so silly it’s perfect#Dw spoilers#Doctor who#david tennant#ncuti gatwa#10th doctor#14th doctor#15th doctor#I’m just thinking of ��I saw a regeneration scene on tv aged 3 and decided to be an actor” tennant#And ‘I watched David Tennant”s hamlet before drama school and realized that’s what an actor should be and what I should aspire to” ncuti#And that hug is so wholesome#it’s really come full circle#Also we can’t forget Mel for being the no 1 hype woman there
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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[AU in which neither of them becomes a pro-hero part 2]
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Someone needs to say this to Deku but in the meantime I'll do it myself ♡♡
#bkdk#bakudeku#dkbk#mha#my hero academia#my hero academia au#my hero academia fanart#boku no hero academia#boku no hero fanart#bakudeku fanart#posting before the next chapter so if it happens I can say I predicted it#also i'm really proud of the anatomy and poses on this one#might color later
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Percy “Has Been Waiting to Use This Meme as an Excuse” Jackson, and Annabeth “Never Seen a Meme” Chase
#this has probably been done before but#i enjoyed making this silly thing this morning#also is annabeth aware of memes in the show???? annabeth how will you bond with Percy#he definitely has a hyper detailed Minecraft world#anyway#pjo series#pjo tv show#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#annabeth chase#fanart#pjo comic#my art#I’ve been really enjoying the show!! i need to reread there’s so much I’ve forgotten
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