#or anything queerphobes might have told you

[bitchliteraria1906]

Someone: What's your sexuality?

Me: well you see, I never had a serious crush on anyone. Also, I had trouble understanding what a crush even was for most of my life. Also, I identified as aroallo for a while because I thought I was aro but not ace, but now I think I'm ace too. Also, fictional crushes. Also, I enjoy learning and reading/sometimes even writing about kink but have no idea if I would be comfortable actually participating on it. Also, some days I'm perfectly happy like this but other days are still confusing and shitty because it's all still new to me. Also-

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Why the fight for queer rights isn't over (it should be obvious, but to some people it isn't)

TW: transphobia and homophobia

Hi, Tumblr, this is Asmi. If you know me, it's probably as the Good Omens Mascot, which is flattering. I've found so much love and queer positivity in the good omens fandom, and the beautiful thing is how it's canon. Many people outside the queer community don't realise how crucial media and communities like this are. Right now since I'm on break from education, I'm on tumblr for most of the time I'm awake (which is not a lot, I nap more than Crowley). It's wild how different it is from the real world, that I live in at least.

I'm sure a lot of you might have had a similar experience to this: Basically, two people in my life, my bio father and my ex, both told me to my face that queer people needed to stop calling themselves oppressed and how now it's queer people who hold all the power and are oppressing other people. With all due respect, what the fuck.

I live in India, and being a trans guy who is bi and aspec, it's a cesspit. While I'm gendered correctly on Tumblr, and people are so loving and supportive, in real life even my friends who say they support me misgender me 90% of the time. Same with my family. In my previous college which I had to leave because of bullying by both the students and admin, even the queer students would misgender me (I told them I used they/them pronouns, because he/him would have been too unsafe, but even that they didn't manage). In the college I'll join next, it won't be safe for me to be out at all, at risk of losing opportunities and safety. Gay marriage is still illegal. Homophobia and transphobia is the norm. This doesn't even cover all the daily indignities like queerphobic jokes, casual discourse on whether or not we deserve rights, etc. Discrimination against aroace-spec people is rampant even within the queer community, worldwide.

And I live in an urban area, one of the largest cities in India known for its progressiveness and for being relatively safe for queer people. I am privileged compared to other queer people here. The story in other cities, in rural areas which make up most of the country, is far more horrifying. I'm unqualified to speak about anything other than my own experience, but if you can (if you are in a stable and calm enough mental state to handle the information, please put your mental health first) I'm sure there are first person accounts on the many forums.

The fight for equality is not over. It doesn't end with laws riddled with loopholes, it doesn't end even with laws that genuinely help the queer community. Aside from the huge problems of living safely and with access to equal opportunities and resources for people, we deserve dignity, peace, and the right to feel accepted and that we're not an abnormality. And so much more.

I haven't said anything that hasn't been said before, but it can't be said enough. To the queer people reading this, take all my love. We need to stand together, eliminate discourse over who is queer enough to be queer, and be the safe space that the world will not provide for us.

It's not over, and it hasn't been won by a long shot, but what matters is that we're fighting. Even existing as ourselves in a world that tells us it is a crime, is defiance and a step towards making this right.

[karenandhenwillson]

About Coming Out

I've seen some discussion about "how disrespectful and misogynistic it was of Buck to come out at his sister's wedding". And at first I laughed about that take, but after some consideration, I became pretty sad. Because I feel this is one of the most queerphobic takes I've seen in this whole fandom discourse taking place since May.

What does this take imply about being queer and coming out? It tells us that coming out is a big thing. Something that you need to do with great care and put a lot of attention to, that you need to expect everyone else to put a lot of attention to. But not because people might react poorly and it's a decision a queer person needs to make carefully for their own safety's sake (which is the very reality for most queer people in any given situation) and instead because everyone else has the right to make a big deal about it and demand to talk about it and fully concentrate on it no matter what else is going on.

Coming out should not be big thing. It should not even be necessary.

That it is necessary to tell people "hey, you know, I'm not straight" or "hey, you know, I'm not cis" or any other thing people assume about others is a problem of our society. We are living in a heteronormative world. People complain about children being exposed to queer themes, but at the same time the toddlers in the sandpit--one a boy the other a girl--getting along great for the afternoon they are playing together, are called boyfriend and girlfriend. And then they are teased about their "crushes" (at least as long as it's a crush of the oposite gender, of course. In any other case they just really close friends and isn't nice to see such close friendships?).

No one should assume about any real person they see on the street, or in class, or at work, or on the news, or on TV what or who they are. But in the end all of us, the queer community just as much as everyone else, assume about people they don't know that they are straight and cis. Or they assume just by their appearances that they are decidedly not straight or not cis. (I just recently saw a meme: A picture of Christina Aguilera on a stage, and a comment beneath about "the horrors of men dressing as women" or something along those lines. That’s sad for so many reasons, but I think it very much showed the mindset of many people about how their perception is more important than anything else.)

It shouldn't matter. But sadly, it does. We live in a society where I was nervous at 16 when I told my mom "I like girls more than boys at the moment" because I had a horrible crush on a girl in my class when she asked me about dating boys (to then be told by my mother that it was a phase and would go away eventually. I haven't told her yet that it wasn't a phase but that I do use another label now). We live in a society where I used a friend's struggle with her family concerning her girlfriend to very carefully see how my dad would react to me talking about this at 21 and then blurted out "I know how my friend feels because Mom was horrible when I told her I'm bi" (to then break down in tears when my dad just shrugged, said I hadn't told him anything new about myself or my mom and if my friend and her girlfriend needed any help).

I wish we lived in a world where sitting at a café with a relatively new friend and just mentioning "this woman I once dated" without it interrupting the conversation at all was normal. And where it is just as normal that this friend shared a little while later "that's why I mostly dated women before meeting my husband" again without it interrupting our conversation in any way. Our hug when we said goodbye might have been a little bit longer and a little bit tighter than is usual, but other than that it was not a big deal coming out to each other at all. I, for my part, didn't even think about it being a big thing because I feel comfortable and secure with this friend.

I wish we lived in a world where coming out wasn't even necessary.

I wish we lived in a world where others wouldn't make assumptions based on what others look like under their closes, or about who they love, or about who they find attractive, or about who they fuck. Where people wouldn't judge how people style themselves and how they look and what the scale might show about their weight. I wish we lived in a world where none of that mattered. I wish we lived in a world where a man showing up with a boyfriend or showing up single to any event would be as much talked about as a man showing up with a girlfriend: that there would be no talk about it at all.

We don't live in such a world. And when I look at people saying Buck was disrespectful and misogynistic (really, what??? Are people once more just throwing around random words to see which of them will stick?) by coming out at his sister's wedding, I know my nieces and nephews and probably even my grand-nieces and grand-nephews won't ever experience such a world. Because instead of working to normalize being queer, people are doing exactly the opposite. (And then of course the anti-queer laws we are seeing pop up again at the moment, but that's another topic.)

All that despite 9-1-1 showing us at least a glimpse of that world I wish we could live in.

We saw Buck struggle with some internalized homophobia, of course. Because I think that's exactly what his nervousness during the first date and his panic when Eddie showed up was about. We know that Buck isn't homophobic in the slightest. We have seen him interact with enough queer people in the course of the show to know that about him. But clearly, there was a tiny voice in his head--and I'd bet money it sounded very much like Margaret Buckley's voice--telling him it was shameful to date a man. He worked through it very quickly and I think that's a testament of how much he did work through the bullshit his parents planted in his head in therapy. And it might also be a sign of how much he really likes Tommy and wants to be with him that he managed to work through that hateful voice in his head in just a couple of days.

But then we also saw that coming out is very much not a big deal at all at the wedding. I fully believe Buck knew about the soot on his face (Come on guys, he's been a firefighter for over seven years. He worked in a forest fire at least once. Buck knows exactly how soot travels and how difficult it is to get rid of it again.) He chose to have the soot all over his face to show everyone how he had greeted Tommy. He dragged Tommy into the room holding his hand. He took that slight breath to prepare himself for any reaction and then beamed over his whole face. There was no spoken announcement, but it could still not have been louder. I'm sure, if everything had gone according to plan (and Tommy hadn't been stuck fighting a fire) there wouldn't have been any big announcement then either. They'd just have danced among all the other couples dancing at the wedding and let everyone else make their assumptions about it.

And everyone else just reacted like I wish it would always go: They smiled, happy to see Buck happy, and turned back to the main event. No one talked about Buck and Tommy. No one asked Buck and Tommy any questions. No one turned to Buck and said "But you've always liked women!" or asked "Were you hurt by a woman? Is that the reason you are turning to men now?" or accused "You should have told us an age ago! Why didn't you tell us? How dare you not to tell us!".

It was such a fucking beautiful coming-out scene. Because it was full of acceptance and support. And at the same time, it also showed that coming out really isn't a big thing. It showed to beautifully that it doesn't matter who he loves or who he dates.

Buck coming out to the rest of his friends and family was not noteworthy at all among all the events of that day. Because he's found great friends and a great family in LA and all that matters for them is that he is happy with the person he is dating.

So, I would like to ask those people who say that Buck should have gone around and come out to everyone before the wedding because doing it the way he did was stealing his sister's big day (and why only his sisters, anyway? Why not also Chimney's big day?) something: If Buck had brought a new girlfriend, should he have gone around to everyone to inform them about that first? Maddie knew about Tommy, I think Chimney might have known before getting sick. Aren't those the two important people on that day and the only ones who need to know, at least that he was bringing a date?

And also: Should have Hen and Karen gone around to all the guests who don't know them and come out to them? Which includes the Buckley parents. If Josh brought a date, should he have gone to everyone and inform them first about bringing a man as his date? Or to take his one ridiculous step further: Should have Athena and Bobby gone around to everyone who doesn't know them closely to tell them they are an interracial couple? (Because there are people who would still find that scandalous and could have made a scene! No matter that they are currently attending the wedding of another interracial couple.) Why have these couples the right to assume that no one will talk about their relationship when the focus should be on the bride and groom, but Buck and Tommy don't have that right? Just because it's new for Buck? Rally?

(And I'm aware that the people who I'm asking this question probably quit reading this text after the first 100 words or so. They probably didn't get 1.7k words into my essay to get to these questions. And that might just be another problem in this fandom discourse: Certain people are just not open to take the time and energy to openly and honestly deal with opinions that don't agree with their own opinion. Because that could mean having to change their own opinion, right?)

[azulcrescent]

Hello. A question from someone who often isn't really good at understanding people: why are people so afraid of people knowing that they are queer? It just came to my mind when I saw the chapter where Zack messes that up with Stella. Is it fear, that queerphobic people might get to know it? Is it shame (again, caused by hostile enviroments)? I always assumed one who accepted who they were, wouldn't feel the need to hide it.

I'm assuming you're talking about where Zack feels guilty about having told someone that Stella is a lesbian? Its more of the fact that telling others without express permission is not very nice to do, rather than anything. Yes, most people are not queerphobic, and you can generally tell when someone is. However, you can never really be sure so its better to leave it to the person in question, at least, that's my view on it.

[offireandflesh]

Basic Info

Of Fire and Flesh is an AU set in modern times, but wow!! zombie apocalypse !! all the characters were in the same big city when the break out happened, so they're all in the same vague area and cross paths.

This is primarily a horror survivial AU, and to be blatant and open about it, apocalypses are my special interest and I despise the genre for its impracticality, lack of focus, and male power fantasy; this AU is not that. it's about survival, trusting in each other, and creating a future humanity can thrive in again. Even if it takes time to get to that point.

The story isn't necessarily told in a linear story and may jump around based on what I wanna do lmao. If you're confused on the timeline don't be afraid to ask!

the colour palette;

For the sake of the more dark and gritty vibes as well as a fun challenge for myself, I use a very limited colour palette in this AU across the entire cast and any backgrounds. If you'd like to draw anything for this AU you don't have to follow it by any means !!!

shipping;

There is linkshipping in this AU. What's canon and not canon will be very spotty, but you can go ahead and ship anything you want.

Since it's lozverse and not just linkverse, there's also possibility for wacky crossover ships of different kinds~

Just as a note because I don't talk about it much, in general with my AUs while I might write characters with my own gender and sexuality headcanons in mind, you can think whatever you want of the characters, and I'll indulge any hcs.👍I'm here to have fun this is a big part of that to me.

This is an aggressively transgender and gay and queer as fuck space. Queerphobes can fuck off kindly!

me;

My main is @slaingelo if you like the four swords manga and want to see more from me! I use it/she/he pronouns.

Because this AU started on my main as an FSA au, you can find some old posts and a ficlet in the tag over there. I'm unsure if I'll move them to this blog or not; I might edit the fic to repost it, I dunno, we'll see! If I get into writing enough for this au I also might just make a collection on ao3. Shrug!

The program I use is clipstudio paint and I tend to just stick with the default pen real g-brush for my lines.

inbox;

If you have questions or comments about the AU feel free to shoot them at me! Whether I'll do art suggestions is very on and off depending on whether or not it fits what I have going on for the characters in question in terms of plot, but even if I reject a suggestion I prommy I won't be mean so don't be scared. I'm not scary !!! I'm just fluffy wolfgirl ok?

Also since this isn't like a comic or a coherent single fic, you're free to just ask about plot related stuff and I'll ramble about it lmaoo I have too much on my plate with another AU I'm making a fancomic for to worry about keeping this one's story hush hush before I find some way to finish it.

[jan-pi-suli-ala]

welcome to my blog

this post is getting long so everything unimportant is under the cut now

semi important: if you follow me claim your gen 1 pokémon here

name: just call me suli ala if you need it to be short, but if you know me well enough indicated by the list of i know you mutuals, i’ve told you my name

pronouns: she/her but they/them is ok

sexuality: aroace

DNI: transphobes, homophobes, general queerphobes, racists, sexists, and <joke> anyone who’s name is jeff </joke>.

I AM A MINOR AAAA

THE I KNOW YOU MUTUALS LIST:

empty rn :/

if you follow me i’ll stalk your posts and maybe follow you back, congrats

not answering any more palestine asks, i’m sorry but it takes a while to confirm if each account is verified and some aren’t verified at all

i don’t capitalize anything, and don’t always put tone indicators, i’m not trying to be aggressive, it’s just how i type

almost certainly have adhd, probably have autism, might have apd but that could be anything

more details on me here

debate me on issues here

^ one of those links is a rickroll

sponsored tags! (i tagged this with all of them for easy access) :

average thoughts: #lawa pi suli ala

rants: #jan suli

ocs: #kama pi suli ala

other accounts:

@is-it-biblical

@official-math-posts

@lake-michigan-officially

@community-notes-real

@explodes-your-inbox

@anon-responses

pfp is gloob! he changes every season, details on the changes here

fin

[opinated-user]

i'm going to ignore for a second how LO has shown that she's just as gender essentialist as any other terf, in both her own works of fiction as in reality, or that she has even defended a radical feminist that SWERF use as their foundation for their nonsense. those things do contribute to the why i call out LO as terf adjacent, but let's put them aside for a moment. why do people call you a terf when you're a queerphobe or when you generally treat queer people as the enemy to take down? because terfs are the one weaponizing queerphobia in a real world sense.

this picture was used as an illustrative example of "lesbian being pressured by trans woman to have sex", in this infamous articles from the BBC: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-57853385 terfs are currently using queerphobia as another way to create division in the whole community. once they have managed to convince enough people that queer should be erased, who do you think is going to be next? but not everyone is from the UK in the first place, which would be a moot point to make because do you think terfs care about that? they only see you legitimatizing their position that nobody ever should be called queer, that queer is a bad word to use, that the people who call themselves and their community queer are bad selfish people who want to force you into accepting their identity. it doesn't matter if you're from the US, Canada or any other place, they'll use that as further proof that they're right and that other people who also "force them" to accept their identity are equally as bad and should also be erased. take a guess as to who that could be refering to. as a sidenote... do you really think the UK is the only place in earth with terfs? it's where they're the most prominent and have the most political power, that much is true, but terfs exist everywhere and sometimes they do get to have an impact if given the chance. why do you all think there has been an increasing number of anti trans law in usa? why do some states have outright banned drag performances? let me be clear about this. not being queer is fine. don't wanting to be called queer is fine. correcting people who call you, you individually, the person, queer is totally valid. as long you respect the right of queer people to exist and understand our need to have our own queer community, because we'll always have that as human beings that we're, we can all coexist no problem. but queerphobes like LO don't do that and it's disgusting to even pretend so. she has made post after post about how we, queer people, are self hating morons who are beneath her. she has told anons writing to her about how they should change the name of their identity. she has actually said that "people who reclaim queer should choke". she has made an entire video full of misinformation with the express purpose of convince people in general that they should never use queer, ever, and comparing the people who do with the most hateful horrible kind of people you can meet. i have a whole tag called "lily orchard is a queerphobe" because she has done this so frequently, so blatantly and so obviously that i'm actually baffled that she thinks she's foolling everyone by reducing her hatred for us as simply "don't liking to be called that word." anyone can visit that tag and see that it goes a lot harder than that. i don't know OP, but if all they ever said was that they don't want to be associated with that word because of personal negative experience with it and never said anything about queer people as a group or as a community, then yes, it would be wrong to immediately call them a terf on that basis alone. that's not the case of LO, as i argued above. she might not be exactly the same as a terf... but does she ever make their work a little easier by normalizing their ideas.

[roodles03]

I'm just gonna say this because I am SO done with seeing this shit.

As a trans, enby, demisexual lesbian, I am fucking sick of seeing people hate on huntlow because its "straight"

Like that is such a dumb fucking reason to hate on a perfectly healthy ship. Who cares if its queer or not? It's still a wonderful written ship. And it might not even be straight!

Like I said I'm literally queer myself and I far prefer huntlow over the two cannon queer ships. I don't prefer huntlow because its not queer, and I dont prefer lumity or raeda because they are queer. By that logic every queer person would have to prefer every queer ship in existence over a straight ship, even if the queer ship's rep is done poorly or is straight up offensive. That logic just makes no fucking sense. I've seen people call huntlow shippers queerphobic for preferring huntlow over the cannon queer ships. NEWS FLASH: MANY HUNTLOW SHIPPERS ARE QUEER THEMSELVES. (Including me!)

I prefer huntlow over Lumity and Raeda simply because I think its written the best out of the 3 and simply because Hunter and Willow are my favorite two characters in the show. I just don't care about Eda, Raine, Luz, or Amity NEARLY as much as Hunter and Willow. I'm not saying I don't like these characters or lumity or raeda, I'm just indifferent about them. I fully acknowledge just how well written and important these ships are to queer rep and queer history, and there is literally nothing wrong with them. These ships and characters just don't do it for me the same way Huntlow does. You can just not care about a ship and not have to morally justify your reasoning. I don't care about Lumity or Raeda, yet do you see me trying to aruge those ships are morally wrong? No. You don't. There is literally nothing morally wrong with them. Same thing applies to huntlow. There is literally nothing morally wrong with Huntlow, yet I constantly see people pull shit out of their ass to try and morally justify their reasoning to hate huntlow.

News Flash: You can hate something and not have to morally justify why.

Plus, Huntlow is still amazing rep. It's not queer rep, sure, but we already got two MONUMENTAL queer ships in TOH that have literally made history. Huntlow has a different kind of rep, as it's the best plus sized ship rep I've ever seen. How many times does a boy described as sickly and scrawny fall in love with a plus-sized girl? And how many times does that happen where the plus-sized character doesn't try and diet or gets a "makeover" and loses weight so their love interest will love them more? This kind of rep is so unheard of and it is INCREDIBLY important, especially in a kid's show. I have heard countless stories of plus sized young kids (and adults!) talking about how much this kind of rep means to them. I heard from a person who was told that they would never find love because of their weight, find extreme comfort with huntlow's plus sized rep. This ship could literally save lives with this kind of rep. (Could prevent people from failing into eating disorders, or could help people recover). This rep is SO important for plus-sized people.

Also people who say huntlow gets more attention then Lumity or raeda, I seriously DO NOT know what rock you're living under. Lumity and Raeda are pretty much universally accepted in the fandom as the top 2 ships, while Huntlow has pretty much remained controversial from the very beginning. Sure, now the majority of the fandom supports huntlow, but back in the ASIAS days it was fucking brutal. (I literally almost quit shipping it because of the blacklash on my first huntlow post). And even now, despite it being a minority, there is still a good chunk of people in the fandom who are huntlow antis. Huntlow is NOT getting more attention then Radea or Lumity just because its straight. If anything, Radea and Lumity are MUCH more popular in the fandom then huntlow. Like are you fucking kidding me with this???

Plus we don't even know if this is truly straight! For all we know Hunter or Willow could be bi, pan, omni. It could just be a straight passing relationship, and people aren't less queer for being in straight passing relationships!

So yeah. Go find a legitimate reason to hate on a ship.

[evil-is-upon-us]

I actually don't know what created this alter...

TW: mentions of sexual content.

I'm Valentino, at least that's the name I take. I think that I have existed before Hazbin Hotel, it's just the name I took on and what I wanted to be perceived as.

I like moths, I felt I was abusive to many. I was the flirty one, the hypersexual being who said dirty things and was effeminate and radiated gay energy. I was the one told I acted like a lesbian or someone gay. I liked wearing fancy and pimped-out fluffy outfits.

I have also called myself Mettaton, like from Undertale, but that didn't exactly fit my vibe~

Recently I've got a clue on what it might be... Things that might've caused this. I think I know what caused this.

Pornographic material at a young age - I had a porn addiction at about age 7-10. I was given free internet access at an age way too young. I've had a serious porn addiction and I had trouble quitting. Sex was always on my mind when it shouldn't have been. I finally was able to stop, but it still messed me up.

Elsagate - I think it ties up with point 1. I've had kinks and fetishes which I was too young for. I think this one messed me up really badly. If you see Elsagate content, please report it.

Internalized queerphobia - I was told that gay and queer people were bad. I was extremely homophobic, transphobic, and overall queerphobic (I only engaged with straight content). I was rude and bigoted towards those people and I still have that internalized. I identify as a cis male and genderfluid (I can flow between genders, but at the end of the day I'm a male). The host, Daydream, is transmasculine and xenogender. I'm also gay (whenever I switch genders, I'm gay for that gender), and my internalized bigotry didn't allow me to explore sexualities, orientations, and I feared liking others and due to point 1, I had severe trauma that caused me to be touch-averse and be fearful of men (mostly) and all genders. The host is AroAce too, and they fear being hit-on by others.

People being queerphobic towards me - The host is transmasculine, which their mother told them "that was just being a tomboy." They are also xenogender, which is interconnected with trauma of disassociation, derealization, existentialism, and existential thoughts, and being extremely nihilistic. They were literally told a couple days ago that many gay and transgender people didn't exist, and that there was a prominent aphobia of "Oh, you will find the one when you get older!"

Urges - I talk a lot about "having moth urges." I think I know how that's related. There are sexual urges, bodily urges, impulsive thoughts and actions... The host always had pressure to make themselves perfect, to not engage with humanity and a lot of detachment from that. Moth urged could stand in for just being like everyone else, and being a... being. Natural urges and thoughts. And the host being AroAce, they didn't get to explore sexual urges or anything like that.

So, TL;DR: to summarize, porn addiction at a young age and queerphobia.

I, as the Valentino alter, am the result of this.

I am the hypersexual alter. I am someone who can be free from all this bigotry and here to take back my power. I am the things that hurt me. Being told a good "fuck you" is diminishing, but also kind of empowering. Because it's a big "fuck you" to queerphobia and my trauma. It's where people call me out on my bullshit and tell me to stop being bigoted towards queer people, being abusive to such.

I used to say I was queer but hated queer people, I hated myself.

I can say "fuck you" to Angel Dust, representing a stop to the pornographic trauma I experienced, to the fact of how I was harassed for being queer, for the fact for me to stop being abusive.

I can say "fuck you" to myself, calling myself out on my bullshit and to try and be a better person. Someone who's more accepting. A form of self-discipline I rarely give myself due to being narcissistic.

I try and be a better person, but it's hard when you're a nasty individual and raised as one. Where you were a prominent queerphobe.

I have always existed, I was here for a very long time, but I finally have a name. I can represent myself, Valentino, someone who is wanting to take back the power of porn addiction trauma. Someone who is wanting to take back the power of self-expression and being queer.

I used to think I was an endogenic system of some sort, or of mixed origins... I thought I had no trauma. That I lived a perfect childhood. But I started to think of what could've been the origins of being Valentino... And I think this is the reason.

I do have trauma. I don't have many alters, and I was wondering why, but that's because they're all connected to some trauma I had.

All the alters have trauma or something related to them. And why some stuck around and others didn't.

I'm a traumagenic system.

(I didn't proofread this, so take away from this what you will and have your own interpretations. I just had this massive realization and wanted to share.)

[goremet-chef]

random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

[ronzombie]

F/O Asks (i'm answering for s/i coony and f/o alejandro)

✍️: Overall, how does the fandom trait you? Are you a beloved character, or hated? Are you popular, or a minor side character? Anything in between?  Oh goodness. Since my source is a shooter rpg, most of the fandom consists of queerphobes… So that means that a lot of them would argue that I’m only in the game for representation (they wouldn’t be wrong tbh). However, the rest of the fandom would probably love me because I’m more relatable to a wider audience.

📝: How would your story in canon go? How would you influence the events of the original story? I think my story would be told in a comic like Ghost’s. I don’t think there would be a good way to insert my backstory into the game timeline, but there would definitely be hints. Some parts of my character would only be understood if you read the comics before playing. My backstory really ties into the betrayal, so I think most of that plot would have to be manipulated for my character to make sense.

🤪: What is your trait that fanon would exaggerate?  My gender. I really feel like fanon would misinterpret my gender expression. Sometimes I don’t wear binders, so I feel like the fandom would make me into being a femboy rather than anything else.

🥰: How would someone who loved you portray you? As a mentally strong person who doesn’t need physical strength to survive. Although my S/I is stronger than I am, I still want my weaknesses to be portrayed generously. I feel like it’s important for people to be able to relate to characters physically and not only in theory.

😡: How would someone who hated you portray you?  Female.

👯: What canon character are you most similar to?   Probably a mixture between Soap and Graves. I have Soap’s personality and Graves’ flamboyance.

🌦️: Would you be accompanied by mostly fluff or angst fanfics? Both? Explain why. Angst, Angst, Angst. The fandom would use me as an excuse to project their trauma onto mine. I’m not against character projection but holy shit LEAVE MY CHARACTER ALONE <//3

🏷️: What is you and your f/o’s ship name?  This is the hardest question ever omg. Our names do NOT go together at all. Maybe Almon for almas x ron?? I have no clue.

❤️: How popular is you x your f/o? Are you a rarepair?  We’re not a rarepair, but there are definitely more popular ships than us.

💞: Aside from with your f/o, who else would you commonly be shipped with? Why?  … Soap and Rudy because we’re such good friends. :,)

☕️: What are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?  My S/I has a lot of trauma (totally not projected), so I think a common plot would be “i had a nightmare” or “i don’t wanna be alone right now.”

🛌: What tropes show up in fics involving your ship?  Probably the bed-sharing trope.

🪐: What would be your most popular AU and why?  Childhood friends because the fandom wants me to have someone to lean on in the worst times of my life (please and thank you)

💘: Why would people love your ship? Why would people dislike your ship? How might it start debates?  It would start slutshaming debates tbh. My S/I is Graves’ ex bf, so I think some of the fandom would bash me for switching up. If you ask me, I don’t deserve it tho because I was basically pressured into a relationship with the previous. My grandfather was all “You need to marry a nice military man” because he’s a retired military catholic.

🙈: Why would your ship be thought of as cute/fluffy? Why would your ship be considered problematic?  Again, it’d be more slutshaming me than actually being problematic. I think our ship would be passionate rather than cute. I don’t mean nsft passionate, but more like Gomez and Morticia Addams type passionate.

🎞️: What ‘canon’ scenes would the fandom point to as evidence for the validity of your ship?  Me throwing my sobbing self onto him in the helicopter after the Las Almas Airport blew up with my grandfather inside.

💌: How would your dynamic be portrayed? What might people focus on most? Any misconceptions?  I think a big misconception would be that he doesn’t care about me. He’s more stand-offish when we’re on duty because he doesn’t want to put me in danger. I think they would focus on the fact that he acts like I don’t mean much to him in front of the enemy, but they don’t know that it’s for my own safety.

👀: How does your ship with your f/o influence both of your characterisations and the world? Would there be any interesting metas written about your dynamic? There would probably be a non-canon journal of mine in COD Zombies where it mentions a love interest, but not a name for him. Fans would go insane over having trans mlm representation in such a dudebro game. If I’m thinking about how things usually go in video games for queer characters, I would probably be killed off towards the end of my first game. It would show a different side to Alejandro that the media didn’t really get to see before. It’s almost like he went dark, and I could see him going rogue vigilante style.

og post

[night-creeps]

I think the worst thing about the trans legislation changes Smith is proposing is that the trans healthcare system in Alberta is already fucking nonexistant. Afaik there is only 1 transgender care clinic in the province that provides for children, this is a team of psychiatrists and psychologists that provide a diagnosis of being transgender to be able to qualify for any trans healthcare and a team of endocrinologists that provide a prescription to hormone replacement therapy.

Currently under the law there is nothing stopped a kid under the age of 17 from getting top surgery, other than parental consent and a diagnosis. But no kid under 17 is getting these surgeries. You wanna know why?

When I came out as trans at about 16 years old, my therapist put in a referral to the clinic and told me I would hear from them. I brought it up occasionally, asking if she had heard anything. Then a year later I ask again and she says she had forgotten to send her certification to them and that the referral never actually got sent. She sends it for real this time, but then one of the handful of psychologists was stepping down so the wait time was going to be extended. I got my GP to send another referall to the other clinic (at the time there two). About 9 months later I get an 'unofficial' meeting with the psychologist who was stepping down because my psychiatrist was friends with them. Nearly 2 years after starting this process I was finally seeing someone! Not much came of it. Since it was unofficial nothing really happened, I was supposed to see him again but never did. About 6 months after that I finally got a call from the other clinic. They scheduled me an appointment with an endocrinologist for 3 months later. So. 2 and a half years after starting the process I was finally started on HRT. 8 months after that I graduated school and got to meet with more psychologists. I finally got put on a wait list for top surgery. For those few months though I was terrified I would have to start the whole process again once I turned 18. Thankfully that wasn't the case. So I was going to get a call to schedule a consult 6-9 months after that. A year later I call them and ask if there's any update. I get told the wait time is now 12-18 months. A little over 18 months after being put on the waitlist I finally schedule a consult with a plastic surgeon. Where I am told it is another 12-16 month wait until I can get surgery done.

I started this process at 16. I am currently fucking 20 years old. ITS BEEN FOUR YEARS. To get top surgery before 17 a kid would have to come out as trans at 12 and start the process immediately. Even if they have an accepting family, they might not have a therapist or psychologist willing to refer them. Most family doctors wouldn't refer them either. And unless they live in Edmonton or Calgary, if their parents can't take time off work to take them to their appointments they won't be starting this process at all.

There are 2 plastic surgeons offices in the entire province doing gender affirming care, and a shortage of anesthesiologists to boot so even if there were more surgeons there's still a shortage of OR's. And bottom surgery is not done in province, period.

Unless you come from a rich and supportive family who can fly you to a specialist out of province, there is an almost 0% chance that someone under the age of 17 is even getting gender affirming surgeries done. All it's doing is meaning that the waiting process can only start at 17. That's not even mentioning all the horrifying and queerphobic rules being put in place in regards to name and pronoun usage in school, or being able to learn about queer content at all.

[magiclilybean-reblogs]

"But like you never have to relate to the personal experience of something in order for the knowledge to come in handy when a friend needs someone with a level head and knowledge to help them figure out what to do, or what kind of help they might need in a situation."

Yes, this is what struck me in your earlier post. One thing he doesn't do naturally or quickly is identify with others. But, I've learned that once it does occur to him, he is vehement about it.

For example, my oldest biological kid (20) is a trans man. We were already a family that wouldn't eat at Chick-fil-A or donate to Salvation Army, but I was surprised when my younger (16) started refusing to do anything he thought might **possibly** be queerphobic.

There is a Methodist church near us that hosts a festival we go to every year since my youngest was two. Many Methodist churches hang rainbow flags, and most American Methodists, I'm told, support LGBTQIA+ rights. However, as a denomination, they don't allow marriage between same sex couples.

My younger told me he didn't want to go back. He said he didn't think they'd support his brother and he didn't want to give them any money. 🤷 (His brother (20) went, and as a straight cis person I'm not about to suggest he shouldn't. I went with him to the festival because it's tradition, but in solidarity with the (16) son, I didn't spend any more money there.)

So if he knew that other people might need him to know things, I think he would want to know them. He just might need that pointed out to him.

He did get into that game design program, too, and is very excited about it. Which is amazing, because he is very particular, and as a result, is rarely very excited about things.

And again, thanks. I learn a lot about being queer, specifically trans, by being on Tumblr. Also about neurodivergence, and also about the general experiences people my kids' ages are having. It's helped solidify so much of my thinking and coaching.

Solidarity with children is often neglected or even made a joke of, so I wanna take a second and tell y'all what I wish I could go back in time and tell myself:

You're right. School is bullshit, homework is bullshit, waking up early is bullshit, going to bed early is bullshit. Some adults are just pointlessly cruel, even those in positions of authority over you. Sometimes adults are wrong, and, in fact, sometimes you are right

You were born with an innate sense of justice and fairness and adults have spent your entire life trying to beat it out of you so you'll shut up and do what you're told in an unjust and unfair society. Don't let them. Many of us have to take effort to relearn the wisdom you have right now, the ability to tell when something is bullshit even if you can't articulate why yet

You deserve happiness, fulfillment, and liberation just as much as any adult. Those first 18 years are just as important as any other time in your life, and it's time you'll never get back. Don't let anyone take them from you just because you're too young to fight back

Question everything, and never take "that's just the way it is" as an answer. Sometimes when things don't make sense to you it's because they just don't make any goddamn sense

Pick your battles, and be strategic. Don't take this post as permission to go starting fights for no reason. But remember that you have worth, and our society tends to not respect that. And you're right: that is bullshit

(also, read Anarchy Works)

[aroace-cat-lady]

Conventionally, yours.

First, I want to say thank you to Annabeth Albert for writing such a shitty book that I finally was able to defeat my reader's block. Genuinely, at some point I hated this so much i needed to finish it so I could complain about it *properly*. So, if Annabeth gets to read this, thank you for being a terrible writer.

Now, were do I start??

Conventionally Yours promises an enemies to lovers lgbtq+ between two gamers that have to compete at the same tournament at THE convention of their favorite game, Odyssey.

What Conventionally Yours gives it's a story about two guys that for three years had plenty of reasons to hate each other and end up falling in love in, like, three days.

This book promised SO much. The opening is pretty good. It introduce us to our two MCs, the game, secondary characters and the dynamic you can expect. At 15% of the book, we have elder queer couples, interesting back stories, nd rep and a no binary character.

And then Albert managed to send all of that straight to hell.

Bad writing, shitty character construction, elemental research left half way, and internalized ableism would be enough to piss any reader. But those are not the only reasons I hated this book so deeply.

Aphobia, virgin-shame, crappy characterization of a neurodivergence. These were the ones that made my blood run cold.

Amatonormativity and allonormativity are two things I know I can expect in a romcom. I was prepared for them. Most ppl haven't even heard about asexuality or aromanticism.

But our dear Annabeth had.

Let's get back to the classics shall we?? Show Don't Tell is the basic rule of writing, and Albert never learned it. She told us Cornard was a great, carrying guy; what she showed us an ableist 21yo pal that can't see farther than his nose. She told us Alden was neurodivergente, had anxiety and panic attacks; she showed us the classic case of ND, touch repulsed, probably aspec guy. She doesn't do anything with this information, but bringing it once in a while when its convenient for the plot. And the touch repulsed thing that was so clear at the begging of the book gets lost at some point because "love is the cure to everything".

And the worst was the virgin shame scene. That angered me on its own, but then, for some alien reason beyond my comprehension, Annabeth thought it was a smart move to bring up the aro and ace spectrums. If you have a ND character and you bring up the spectrums you do not do it to say they are not part of them, ESPECIALLY if said character is aspec coded. ESPECIALLY if being aspec gives them deepness. ESPECIALLY if that would show how much of a queerphobe you actually are in your lgbtqa+ (surprise darling: the A doesn't stand of ally)

Now, the dynamic between Conrad (21yo, his father kicked him out because he is gay, he's bankrupt, almost homeless and needs to win the tournament to start over) and Alden (23yo, living with his moms, neurodivergente, has anxiety and panic attacks, needs to win the tournament to build his own future).

She tried to make them cute and sweet and wholesome. She gave us a gaslighter ableist instead.

She did tried to acknowledge Alden's neurodivergency on his surrenders, but when it came to his dynamic with Conrad, it became more like a personality tread. Conrad is the worst kind of character you can find: author's favorite baby. If Annabeth were half as good as she thinks she is, she wouldve been able to see how toxic and shitty Conrad is with Alden. Albert tried hard to paint Conrad as a good guy, and she did it fine the first 20%. After that, she might be telling us he's awesome, the reason the sun comes out every morning and why the stars shine, but the reality is that he's just some guy that knows nothing about how to treat right a ND partner.

The eternal love promises were hard to read. The only "character development" in the whole book came from Love Meets All Shores (fuck you very much). And she managed to ruin erotic scenes. Like. It wasn't even funny enough to laugh about them. They were pity. And, tbh, disgusting.

The only point I give to her is that the Odyssey scenes were actually stupidly good. Like. Really, really good. They gave me hope that maybe this lady wasn't as useless as I thought.

But game scenes aren't enough to carry a book.

Anyways. Terrible book. It had some cute parts, but the awfulness of Conrad ruined them for me. Alden had so much potential and it makes me sad how bad AA managed him.

[gravity-barbie]

Coming out as LGBT+ to The Sparrows HCs

Request

Umbrella version

Masterlist

Marcus Hargreeves

-Coming out to Marcus can be especially nerve-racking because as close as you are to him, he’s still kind of an authority figure

-He’s worried when you say you have something to tell him, his business-brain is on expecting news of some threat so relief is actually the first thing he feels when you tell him, and then what you said really sinks in and he’s surprised for a moment but quickly recovers and lets you know that’s totally fine and he’s glad you told him

-He’s very respectful in all matters regarding this, checking in when necessary to make sure you’re comfortable with his etiquette, terminology or whatever else

-He takes a bit of an interest in lgbtqia matters afterwards, maybe not quite an activist, but he stays informed

Ben Hargreeves

-Ben doesn’t need a second to process what you’re telling him, he completely accepts your orientation/identity, it doesn’t change how he feels about you at all

-However he struggles with intimacy, particularly verbally so in the moment you tell him, really wearing your heart on your sleeve, he doesn’t know what to say and he’s all around a bit wooden

-Ben rarely apologises even when it’s completely warranted, but after some reflection he feels he owes you one, and as nonchalantly as possible tells you as much and confirms that he’s really fine with this, trying his hardest to offer some of the warmth he’s known for not having

-Ben takes potential homophobia/transphobia very seriously, he’ll turn incredibly hostile at just a hint of it and absolutely terrify the perpetrator

Fei Hargreeves

-Fei has had a hunch for a while and can’t really bring herself to act surprised when you tell her

-As much as she seems like a cold person, Fei can be very sweet to her loved ones in times like this, she gives you a hug and lets you know she’s happy for you

-Needless to say she adapts to the information quickly and adjusts whatever she needs to accordingly, and she will force anyone else who knows to do so as well

-Talking about it with her feels really natural, she shows you plenty of respect and doesn’t treat the subject like it’s foreign to her

Alphonso Hargreeves

-It really isn’t a big deal to Alphonso, though he tries to respect that it might be to you, so he tepidly asks a couple of follow up questions

-He makes a couple jokes about the whole thing, it’s just his nature, they aren’t offensive by any stretch but if you find them invalidating that’s fair and he’ll zip it

-Sensitivity isn’t his strong suit, in spite of and because of that, he wants you to let him know if there’s anything he can be doing better because he’ll do it

-He almost never brings up anything about your orientation/identity but if you ever want to talk to him about it he’ll listen, though his expertise is limited he is someone you can vent to

Sloane Hargreeves

-Sloane is such a sweetheart, she’s genuinely so happy for you and just wants to show you her support

-She can’t believe she didn’t realise sooner and is eager to make up for lost time by learning anything you’ll tell her about how you realised and what it’s been like

-Even if she can’t relate to the specifics of your situation, she’s a very empathetic and sensitive person and is highly unlikely to ever come across as out of touch about this

-You’ll never doubt her acceptance, she proves it every time she tries to play matchmaker with a potential same-sex love interest / buys you clothes that match your new presentation or anything else that eases this time of adjustment in your life

Jayme Hargreeves

-Jayme accepts this immediately, you never have to talk about it again if you don’t want to but she’s a decent listener if you need someone to vent to

-She obviously doesn’t make a big deal about it, one way or the other, but she does little things to affirm your gender/orientation

-Jayme has a low tolerance for bigotry in general but especially if it’s directed at you, she will gladly beat up a queerphobe

-She’ll keep you company wherever and whenever you’d like, whether to make up for the isolation you may be feeling or to be a familiar face as you venture into uncharted territory

Christopher Hargreeves

-Christopher is a little surprised but he’s cool with it and lets you know as much

-It’s not his strong suit but he can be very sweet and reassuring if you need it

-It’s not the same thing by far but as a cube he can relate to feeling and being treated different than others, so he’s actually very understanding

-He’ll do anything he can to help you from giving you company and someone to lean on to offering you funds if you need an operation or something

[drtanner]

So Roe v. Wade got overturned.

I'm in the UK, and it would be very easy to say that it's none of my business. But a) I care about people who are not me and b) the same evangelical groups who pushed for this to happen also bankroll much of the queerphobic and specifically transphobic bullshit that's going on here and this is absolutely their intended final goal. If you think the current "gender critical" movement is anything but a vehicle for these ghouls and this exact ideology, you're a fucking fool.

The freaks over on Twitter crowing "PRAISE GOD!!" and setting their sights on overturning laws that protect same sex and interracial marriage, contraception and everything else you'd expect are the lot you've actively chosen to fall in with if you are a fucking TERF. Those are your friends, you've thrown in with them. You did this.

But the good news is, it's not too late to turn yourself around. You can stop being a TERF and stop accelerating our return to the fucking Dark Ages anytime you like! We told you they'd come for you after they saw that no one would come for us, so now they have, do you think you might be persuaded to stop actively aiding them?

It's all of us or none of us, you fucking idiot.