#because none of you ever ask me anything (/nm) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

satendou · 4 years ago

Text

⟼ monster

⍣ all time low series | next | 1/4

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ pairing: tendo/reader

⇢ au: atl!au, college!au

⇢ summary: you like horror movies, tendou likes horror movies, what could go wrong?

⇥ masterlist

⇢ warnings: unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, mentions of bullying, insecurities, piercings, cursing

⇢ word count: 13.2k

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ a/n: i think this is the biggest fic i’ve ever written and it’s one of my favorites, if not my absolute favorite i’ve written so far. it was kinda hard to write it in a way that stayed true to my vision for it but also didn’t make it childish, so i hope i succeeded in that regard. as always, thank you to @keijiskitten for editing this!

“Oh, come on, ‘Kaashi,” you said, setting your hand on your hip. You were standing around in the middle of the classroom with him and a few others, waiting for your professor to show up who was no doubt getting a coffee from the overflowing Starbucks down the street. Class would be half over before he finally arrived. “It’s just a few scary movies.”

“Sorry, _____. I have to study and I just know that trying to watch movies with you and study is gonna be a nightmare,” he said, giving you a sympathetic look. “And give me nightmares.”

You rolled your eyes and looked around to Bokuto, who was scrolling through his phone while he chatted with Yaku about the next practice. That was a hard no. Poor Bo would agree without complaint and wind up with nightmares for a week, clinging to you throughout the night. Catching Akaashi’s eye, you exchanged knowing looks and chuckles.

“Hey, _____,” Semi said from your other side. He was busy filling out a music sheet with notes for his next possible song, and the way he said your name indicated he was more focused on that than your quandary.

Still, you turned to look at him over your shoulder, quirking your eyebrow at him. When he didn’t immediately continue, you prompted him. “What’s up?”

“Oh, right,” he said, looking up from the paper. He gave you a small smile and tapped the tip of his pencil on the desk in a smooth rhythm, leaving small marks all over the surface. “You should see if Tendo wants to join you. He’s really into horror movies too.”

“Um, who?”

Semi’s eyes widened in surprise and he pointed over his shoulder. You could hear Akaashi snicker from your other side. The chair on Semi’s other side tipped back on its back legs, and a man with close-cut red hair peeked around his back, waving cheekily at you.

“Hi, name’s Tendo Satori. I’ve only been hanging around you for about two weeks now,” he said and, though he sounded lighthearted and jovial about it, you could see the way his eyes remained narrowed, scrutinizing you. And he didn’t look impressed.

You flushed bright red, realizing you did know him but had never committed his name to memory. Mostly because he hadn’t ever really said anything to you or seemed interested in you at all.

“I-- well, I’m sorry,” you offered awkwardly. But you meant it, at least. You felt a bit bad now that he was in your face. Trying to lighten the mood, you joked, “I’m _____ _____ and my brain space is committed to horror movies and studying. No space for names I’m afraid.”

Semi rolled his eyes and Akaashi heaved a long-suffering sigh, covering his eyes with his hand, but Tendo laughed at your stupid joke. His eyes eased up, his smile relaxing, and he now looked genuinely interested.

“A horror movie marathon, huh? I’m interested. Why don’t you tell me more?”

Tendo didn’t actually expect it to go his way. As with most other people, he was sure you were just faking your enthusiasm and would flake out once you were free of him.

And yet when lunch rolled around and your group of friends were standing in the breezeway, shivering as you tried to pick out some place to go and eat off campus, you fell into step beside him.

“I really am sorry for not knowing who you were,” you offered, adjusting your bag on your shoulder and slipping a pair of gloves on. “Could we, maybe--”

He cut you off, grinning. “Forgiven and forgotten, _____.”

Hesitantly, you smiled back. He was strange, to be sure. Even though you hadn’t really had a true conversation with him yet, you got the feeling he was different, eccentric and unpredictable maybe. The way he harassed the shit out of Semi and some of the others was hysterical, though. You couldn’t pinpoint what it was that made you feel that way, but it wasn’t bad. You were even a little curious.

“Okay cool. So if, by chance, we were to do this movie marathon, how would you feel about cannibals?” you asked, tapping your chin thoughtfully. It was a theme you had been thinking about for a while, but none of your friends were into horror movies much, let alone a dozen or so movies centered around such a gory theme.

Tendo clicked his tongue and you heard a strange clink. “Hypothetically, right?”

“Right,” you said, your eyes zeroed in on his mouth, waiting for him to speak again.

He hummed, his lips curling in thought and his eyes narrowing as he stared off in the distance. Second in height only to Bokuto, he towered over everyone even though the two of you walked together at the back of the group. Speaking of Bokuto, you could hear him over the chatter of the other students around you, talking about the diner just a block away from the school and guessed that that was where you were going.

Then he shrugged. “That sounds rad. What’re you thinking? Hypothetically.”

“Well, obviously gotta go with The Hills Have Eyes. I mean, it’s a classic. And then of course Wrong Turn because there’s so many of those. And, uh…that’s all I have, but that’s literally like 8 movies and if we get past those I don’t know what we’ll do,” you said, weaving through the throngs of people on the sidewalk. You had forgotten you had been trying to see what was in his mouth just a few minutes ago as you avoided toes. You could see the diner sign up ahead, reading “Newly Opened” and a list of menu items, but it was otherwise obscured from your view.

A gasp from Tendo startled you and you whipped around to look at him, only to find him staring at you in disbelief.

He had to fight the laugh in his chest from coming up at the wide-eyed, freaked out look on your face as he said, “I cannot believe you’ve forgotten the most classic of classic cannibal movies, _____. How could you forget The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies?”

Relief mingled with amusement on your face when you realized what he was getting at, and you covered your mouth as you laughed. Putting on your best ashamed expression, you closed your eyes. “I can’t believe I forgot those. I’m such a fake fan.”

“Kicked out of the club for sure,” he said, holding the door open for you. The bustle of the diner drowned out anything more Tendo said as you followed the others towards a large table in the back corner. After that, you were seated between Semi and Akaashi and the conversation was halted.

For the time being.

You didn’t bring up the marathon again, though you snagged Tendo’s number the day after you went to the diner. The conversation started out about movies and morphed into other topics like majors, highschools, how he knew Eita and how you had met Bokuto and Akaashi, amongst others. It left Tendo in a bit of confusion. The two of you kept up a steady stream of communication throughout the day, even sneaking in texts during classes that could net you extra work or pop quizzes. And yet never once was the marathon mentioned.

Part of him was bummed because he had kind of been looking forward to the movies, but the larger part of him was unsurprised. Something like that was way too intimate, and for someone like you to want to do something like that with a-- someone like him was too much to hope for. He was just happy that you weren’t avoiding him like most others did; he wasn’t going to ask for more.

Except he kind of did want more, and he didn’t want to feel that. The disappointment was already tangible on his tongue and he swallowed it down every time he saw you in the hall, chatting or laughing with someone else. It would ease slightly when you would turn to look in his direction, flashing a smile and waving as you passed by. In class, you started sitting beside him, Bokuto and Akaashi often following behind, and he found his small group of friends growing because of you. Bokuto was loud and brash and treated him like they were best friends, and Akaashi’s quiet demeanor reminded him a lot of Ushijima. Except he was maybe a little more expressive.

You even started walking home with him, parting ways when you had to go in different directions with a soft smile and a shine in your eyes that he tried not to read too much into. He enjoyed those days, when no one else was around and he just talked. You even knew some of the manga he read, and he lost himself rambling about Jump. When he brought it up once, about how he talked too much, you shook your head frantically.

“No, no, I don’t mind! It reminds me of Bokuto, to be honest. He can talk about anything and keep a conversation going so easily. I’m kinda jealous,” you said, giving him that satisfied smile again.

He tried to clamp down on the feelings, to keep a tight rein on the emotions that kept trying to pull his eyes in your direction anytime he heard your voice or drew his thoughts to you late at night.

Sighing, he rubbed his eyes, frustrated at the fact that he was thinking of you a-fuckin’-gain. Didn’t he have enough to worry about without wondering what you thought of him? He already knew. You weren’t interested. It was fine.

His phone dinged, the screen lighting up to reveal your name and a text.

You: ‘watcha up to?’ Tendo: ‘nm. studying and suffering. you?’ Y: ‘“studying” sksks what’re you doing tomorrow night by chance?’

Tendo’s heart stuttered in his chest and he groaned, barely resisting the urge to fling his phone out the frost covered window in front of him. For the love of god, could the universe stop fucking with him? Clicking his tongue, he considered telling you he was busy. It would be easiest, and save him the disappointment that was sure to accompany whatever you had planned.

But his fingers were traitorous and typed out exactly what he didn’t want to say. Or so he told himself.

T: ‘nothin. what’re you thinkin?’ Y: ‘well...i’m thinkin about cannibals’

Tendou snorted at that and watched the three little dots appear again.

Y: ‘and u’

He choked and slammed his phone down on the desk, wincing and immediately picking it back up to check the damage. No, no way, he wouldn’t look at it like that. It wasn’t like that. You were just inviting him for the movie marathon in a totally platonic way.

Another message came in.

Y: ‘and me’

You were actually trying to kill him.

He could think of nothing the next day but how much he was looking forward to that night. Once he had finally gotten his shit together enough to text you back, the kinks had been worked out. It was almost a no brainer that he would be spending the night. A movie marathon with twelve movies meant an all-nighter, if the two of you could pull it off. He would go home after classes, while away the few hours until around six o’clock, and then head to the address you had given him.

Unfortunately, he didn’t see much of you that day. You shared no classes, and you had a class when he took lunch, so he ate with Semi and Bokuto that day. Instead you snuck texts to him when you could, mostly talking about how excited you were for that night. It didn’t help, somehow both fanning and soothing his inner turmoil.

“Why do you look like you’re gonna throw up?” Semi asked at last. Tendo was staring at his half-eaten chicken sandwich like it had mortally offended him, and he was curious.

Tendo jumped, having forgotten the other two were even with him, and shook his head. “Uh, nothin’.”

But Bokuto snickered and leaned in to whisper to Semi, who was already suspicious of his short, clipped answer. Whether he actually wanted to whisper or not, Tendo wasn’t sure, but Bo sure as shit didn’t manage it. “Him and _____ are gonna watch movies tonight.”

Of course you had told Bokuto. And probably Akaashi too. He wondered if they had changed their minds and decided to join you when they found out. It put a rather annoying feeling in his chest, like someone was squeezing his heart.

The other two were still talking in a loud whisper, watching Tendo’s expression shift and flicker through a myriad of emotions. Bokuto was lost, but Semi could recognize them after so many years of knowing the moody red-head, and wanted to laugh. He was so good at hiding his negative emotions, but when it came to sadness or happiness, he was like an open book. And he was being pretty obvious right then.

“Wow, that’s pretty big, Tendo,” he said, watching his friend closely. Tendo flinched, shrinking into his hoodie, and Semi nodded to himself. “Don’t let yourself get so worked up. She wouldn’t ask if she didn’t want to.”

He knew where Tendo’s insecurities were coming from. A childhood fraught with bullies and fake friends and people pretending they wanted him around only to treat him like a freak. Even through highschool it was that way, with a particularly nasty incident involving a girl pretending to want to date him that ended with Tendo refusing to come to school for almost a week. After that, he kept to himself and the volleyball club, refusing to even acknowledge that anyone else might actually want to get to know him seriously.

It had gotten a bit easier when he left Shiratorizawa and those memories and most of those people behind. Growing up with them was what had made it hardest, so surrounding himself with fresh people who didn’t have any preconceived notions and rumors about him had allowed him to open up a little. Even Ushijima, across the ocean in California, noticed a marked difference in Tendo’s demeanor.

Semi just hoped you didn’t do anything to send him spiralling back into his insecurities.

“Yeah, I guess.”

It was easy for Semi to say that, but he had no idea what it was like, constantly worrying if people were being serious or if they were just waiting to pull the rug out from under him. Even now, he was fighting with himself to just get through the day, waiting constantly for you to change your mind and cancel the plans. Every time his phone lit up with your name, he expected it.

And yet, even after his classes ended and he arrived home, you didn’t. Just commenting that you would be MIA for a while while you cleaned the apartment and went to the store. And when you came back a few hours later, while he was binging Buzzfeed Unsolved videos, his heart leapt into his throat, but you were only telling him what you had gotten for him and to pick up anything else he might want on the way over.

The time couldn’t pass by fast enough while he busied himself packing as slowly as he could. He was already wearing sweatpants but brought a pair of basketball shorts just in case. A clean t-shirt and the other essential items he would need for the night went into a backpack, and when that was done he decided it was a good time to leave.

Unable to help himself, he sent you a text before he left, interrupting whatever you were already typing, the three little bubbles disappearing for a moment while you read his text.

T: ‘you sure you’re alright with this? i don’t have to come over’ Y: ‘?’ Y: ‘do u not want to!’ Y: ‘?*’ Y: ‘we can do this another time if you want’

He was typing before he could really think about the possibility that that might be the best option, his heart thumping harder than he liked in his chest, and he willed himself to take a deep breath. It was just two friends hanging out, watching horror movies together. Nothing more.

T: ‘no i do. was just making sure you were still ok w it.’ T: ‘leaving now to get snacks. your choices s u c k’ Y: ofc hurry up and get over here Y: ‘tf rude’

Locking the door behind him, he slung his bag onto his shoulder and sighed, hoping the night didn’t end as badly as his nerves were telling him it would.

Your doorbell rang an hour later, while you were in the middle of setting up your room for the binge. You were hoping he wouldn’t mind, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable either. It was hard to miss the nervousness and the way he seemed to shy away from you sometimes, especially when you did certain things like reach out to pull something off his hoodie or read something over his shoulder. But you wanted this to be as normal as possible, to prove to him you were genuine.

You liked Tendo. A lot.

He was funny and sweet and just as eccentric as you had expected. His jokes were off-color but not offensive, just sarcastic and witty and you giggled every time. The way his face lit up when he heard you sent your heart into a frenzy, and the way it fell and he seemed to shrink into himself a moment later hurt. It didn't feel like a rejection of you but instead a rejection of himself and you wondered if there was any way to help him understand that you didn’t want anything from him but for him to be himself.

Upon opening the door, you found it was only the pizza delivery man, and you smiled with disappointment, until you spotted a shaved red-head coming up behind him.

Tendo gulped when he spotted you in your open doorway, wearing woolen leggings and a t-shirt, exchanging a box of pizza for cash and smiling brightly at him over the man’s shoulder. Waving, he waited until the stranger was out of the way before he approached you.

“Hey,” he greeted, peering down at you before scanning the empty living room of your apartment over your head.

You were unsurprised to see the wariness in his eyes, bleeding into the smile he was forcing on his face. It was your first time seeing a look so fake on him and for the first time you wondered if this was really a good idea. But it was only movies. And you liked Tendo. It would be fine.

So you smiled and ushered him in with one hand, the box perched precariously on your other, and watched him shrink into himself like he always did when he came within touching distance of you until he had passed into the living room. Then he just stood there, peering around with that same suspicious look, eyes narrowed and mouth turned down at the corners.

“So, what do you think?” you asked, pretending you hadn’t seen it as you moved into the kitchen.

“It’s nice,” he answered, letting his bag hit the floor with a thump. The rest of the apartment was silent save for the heater going, and little by little he felt himself relaxing. “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble for little ol’ me, y’know.”

You giggled at the way he pointed at himself, wearing a cheesy grin as he walked into the kitchen. “Maybe not, but it’s been ages since I’ve been able to do anything like this. It’s as much for me as it is for you.” You punctuated your statement by poking him lightly in the chest, and he feigned pain.

“You wound me. And here I thought you were treating me special,” he moaned, leaning back against the counter and placing his hand over his forehead. He grinned a little hearing you giggle again, and then the pizza box hit his arm.

“I am treating you special, you goof,” you said, opening it up and letting the smell of cheese fill the kitchen. “With pizza. But I think we’d better take it into the bedroom, since that’s where we’ll be watching the movies. Just in case we fall asleep, you know,” you tacked on at the end, suddenly realizing how that might sound. Not that it meant anything, but again, you feared making him uncomfortable.

Absorbed in your thoughts, you missed the faint dusting of pink on his cheeks, clashing marvelously with his vibrant hair. You carried the box down to your bedroom with Tendo on your heels, eager to see your room. It was about what he expected from you-- a messy bed, a cluttered desk, clothes half in your laundry basket and half on the floor surrounding it. The TV sitting on your dresser was already set up with The Hills Have Eyes menu playing, volume muted. You set the box on the bed before smoothing the covers and crawling on.

Tendo hovered in the middle of your room, casting his eyes around nervously, looking for a chair or something to sit on. He definitely did not want to assume, but you patted the bed beside you, giving him a quizzical look.

“I’m not gonna bite, Tendo. Promise,” you said, and though you made it sound like a joke he could hear a line of seriousness at the core. Running his tongue over the back of his teeth, he walked slowly towards you, giving you every opportunity to change your mind, but you just looked impatient until he climbed on beside you. “Alright, now let’s get this started!”

Two movies in and the two of you had gotten pretty comfortable. Both of you had stretched out on the bed, but you had decided to lean up against the headboard with your pillows to support you while Tendo had opted to lay on his stomach with his head resting on his arms by your feet.

“Would you stop?” he laughed, pushing your foot away where it had been tapping incessantly at his shoulder. You were just doing it to annoy him, and you giggled at the irritated amusement in his voice.

The pizza box sat empty on the floor by the bed, but you found yourself craving something else to eat. When you hummed, Tendo looked away from the screen, rolling onto his side and propping his chin in his hand to watch you nibble at your lip. It was cute, he couldn’t lie, and the anxiety he had repressed by getting distracted by the movie came back slowly.

“What’s up?”

“I’m thinkin’ about...those chips,” you answered, and made to get up. You had to crawl over his long legs and almost fell off the bed as you gracelessly made your move, knee slipping off the small space between his leg and the edge of the mattress. Sticking your tongue out as he laughed at you, you pranced towards the door.

“Bring my bags too, would you?” he called, pausing the movie since you had forgotten. It had just started, and you were lucky that he was nice enough to do it, especially when he heard your voice carry back down the hallway.

“Kiss my ass, Tendo.”

He laughed at that, loud enough that you could hear it from the kitchen and over the crinkling of the bags as you rifled through them. In the end, you shrugged and carried them all back down to your room, along with a few drinks. Maybe you wouldn’t have to get up again for a little while.

You shivered when you stepped back into the room. It wasn’t much warmer than the rest of the house, and now your arms and toes were cold. The heater was already set as high as it would go and hardly touched the chill, and you cursed the cheap piece of crap.

“What, you cold?” he asked, pulling out a bag of the chips he had brought with him. The tab on a can of soda popped and he cursed as it fizzed over onto your blanket. “Shit, sorry.”

“No worries. Yeah, kinda. But the heater is already on full blast. Ugh,” you said, sitting beside him on the bed again. He was still wearing his hoodie, and up close he was warm, making you realize just how cold you were. You were just gonna have to crawl under your blankets because you would never survive the cold like that. “Wait…”

There was a tent on the screen where the movie had paused, and Tendo looked back and forth from it to you with curiosity. There was a calculating look on your face and he wasn’t sure he liked it. “Uh, what?”

There was no way he would agree to it. Way too intimate, right? But it really seemed like it’d be right up his alley, and it would be fun to build, and it would get you warm. It was the perfect idea really.

“Tendo, how do you feel about making...a pillow fort?”

The heater continued to buzz in the corner, overlaid by the slight static from the TV, while Tendo processed your question. His mouth had fallen open, brows furrowed while he stared at you in what could only be surprise, and you laughed nervously.

“Wha-- Seriously?”

“Um, you know what, nevermind. I guess it was a stupid idea. It just seemed like it might be fun and--”

He cut your babbling off with an excited wave of his arms, leaning forward into your space and in the light from the TV you could see a childlike happiness glowing in his eyes. “I’ve never made one but it sounds like fun. You know how to do it?”

Stunned by the turn of events, you nodded. “Well, sort of. Mine have always fallen down after a while though,” you admitted, standing up from the bed again. “We need chairs and books and all the blankets and pillows we can find. And the couch cushions. Probably.”

In no time flat you had everything gathered, with Tendou hovering around waiting for you to direct him. It was a pain to get everything set up, and you ended up using the bed since you didn’t have enough chairs. Moving the chairs all over the place until there was enough room inside and you could put the books down to seal the ‘walls’ was tedious, but it was worth it when Tendo crawled in to set up the cushions to seal the space beneath the bed. After padding the floor with several blankets to lay on, you stuffed the pillows from your bed in after Tendo. When you didn’t immediately crawl in after him, he poked his head out to see what you were doing.

“Well, we didn’t think this through at all, so now we gotta watch the movies on my laptop,” you said as you ejected the DVD from your player. The jingle of your computer booting up played and backlit your face in the glow, and you prayed it wasn’t going to go right into an update. It took a few minutes to start up, so you passed it to him while you plugged the power cord in and ran it into the fort.

You could hear the clicking of the mousepad and by the time you flipped off the light and crawled in beside Tendo, the movie menu was playing. You also realized just how cramped it really was with Tendo’s lanky form inside. There was just enough space for both of you, but you were going to have to either sit up with it in your lap or you were going to have to set it to the side of you and lay on your sides.

He was tense, staring determinedly at the movie playing and trying to avoid moving too much. Or so you guessed, anyway. Anytime you so much as shifted he would jerk away before relaxing, and you were a split second away from nixing the idea. A part of you was starting to wonder if it wasn’t you that was the problem, but if it was, why had he bothered to agree?

“You’re really warm, Tendo,” you said, trying to break the ice. It was an awkward and clumsy attempt, but maybe you could help him settle down if you showed him you weren’t uncomfortable first?

But that just made him pull further away, leaning against the couch cushions. “Oh, sorry.”

It was already warm and comfortable in your little fort, a light blanket thrown over your knees and warming your toes. And with him beside you, you were actually a little more than comfortable. “No,” you said, waving your hands frantically, “no, like, it’s nice. I’m finally warm.”

It was hard to tell in the washed out light of the laptop, but Tendo’s face turned a very bright shade of pink. He tugged the neck of his hoodie up over his nose and fixed his eyes firmly on the flickering violence, annoyed that he was overwhelmed by something so simple. Why did you have to be so damn cute?

But it did the trick, even if he didn’t know that was your intention. He finally relaxed and stopped flinching every time you shifted, trying to find a comfortable position. Sitting cross legged only worked for so long and Tendo noticed you moving around after a while, when your knee knocked his for the third or fourth time.

“You alright? You’re about to bring the whole fort down,” he commented around a mouthful of chips.

“Ah, well, my back is starting to hurt sitting up, I guess. I wanna lay down,” you said, sounding whinier than you meant to, following it up with a short stretch. It alleviated the pain for a moment, until you hunched over again.

He swallowed his chips and returned his eyes to the TV screen, thinking. On one hand, he wasn’t exactly comfortable. On the other, he had no idea what you were thinking. Did you want to abandon the fort?

But you didn’t say anything, fiddling with the blanket for a few moments as you tried to work up your courage. You damn sure didn’t want to tear down your fort-- it had taken you way too long to put the stupid thing up-- and if you said the idea of cuddling up with Tendo wasn’t appealing, you would surely go to hell for lying. The underlying problem was him. What would he say if you brought up the obvious solution?

You were taking too long to answer, so Tendo prompted you, pausing the movie. “Do you want to just get back on the bed again?”

“No,” you said, and then flinched. You had answered way too quickly and that somehow made him nervous and reassured at the same time. “This is really nice I just…I-know-that-you’re-kind-of-uncomfortable-and-I-don’t-want-to-make-you-more-uncomfortable.”

Tendou stared at you, unblinking as he tried to decipher your breathlessly rushed words. After a moment he laughed, still confused, but he could see the anxiety on your face. “I-- what? All I heard was uncomfortable, I think. But you don’t make me uncomfortable.”

Your heart thumped painfully in your chest as that weight left your shoulders. He was so intuitive it was almost scary. Even still, you had to make sure. “Oh, really? You always seem like...weird around me, I guess. I was starting to think I was pushing too hard, I guess?”

“Sorry,” he said, scratching the back of his head. His elbow brushed the sheet above you and he quickly dropped it. “I’m used to people being uncomfortable around me. Guess it just turned into a habit to avoid people I don’t know. So that I don’t freak them out.”

Not entirely true, given that he enjoyed messing with people, but it was true in your* case. It took you a moment to answer, and he started to worry that he had said too much.

“You don’t...make me uncomfortable, Tendo. You never did. You’re a weirdo but not...in a bad way,” you said, and glanced at him to gauge his reaction, worried he would take it in a negative light.

But he was smiling, eyes fixed on the paused movie and you bit your lip. He was way too attractive and you couldn’t fathom anyone who thought otherwise. Clearly they were just cowards.

“Well that’s a relief. It would make things pre-tty awkward right now if I did,” he said and bumped your shoulder. It felt like a whole planet was lifted off his shoulders with this revelation and he heaved a huge sigh. “So, if we don’t want to abandon the fort but our backs are about to crumble, what do we do?”

“Uh.” You blanched, having forgotten about that little hiccup. Your idea was embarrassing to think about let alone explain and if you hadn’t made him uncomfortable yet this was sure to.

“Uh,” he mocked, and twisted around like a snake so his face was in front of you, blocking the light from the screen. “Spit it out before we collapse.”

“Just-- um--” you stuttered, and he quickly realized whatever your idea was, it had you flustered. He was just about to start teasing when you picked up the laptop and set it to the side of you. Rolling over onto your side, you tucked your hand underneath your pillow and relaxed, feeling the pain immediately alleviate. “Now you lay down. If you want.”

Your heart was racing in your chest, waiting for him to do something. It was a long, long minute before he finally said anything, and it wasn’t what you expected. Not that you had any idea of what to expect.

“Uh, are you sure? I mean, we could just--” What was he thinking? This was exactly what he wanted and wasn’t it Semi who had said she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t want it? Did he really have to overthink everything? You were in a literal pillow fort watching scary movies with him, offering to let him cuddle up with you, and he still thought you weren’t sure.

“Well, unless you aren’t,” you said, and was that disappointment in your voice? No way.

“No no, no. I’m gonna take my hoodie off first, though. It’s way too warm in here now,” he said, backtracking quickly. Then again, maybe it was just him that was too hot. It was an actual dream come true, and he pinched himself quickly just to make sure he wasn’t asleep.

You rolled over onto your back to watch him struggle, his arms brushing the ceiling and walls of your warm little haven as he fought the hoodie. Your eyes widened as it finally came free, seeing the colorful swirls of ink covering his arms. “Holy shit.”

“Wha--?” he said, and turned to find you staring open mouthed at his tattoos. “Oh, right, I guess you haven’t seen these before, huh?”

“Nope,” you said, sitting up and squinting to see the undefined shapes in the faint light. It was almost cute the way he held his arm out to you hesitantly, like a child offering you a drawing to examine and praise. Taking it, you traced the lines covering his smooth, warm skin, trying to figure out what they were. But the shapes were undefinable in the faint light. You could make out splashes of blue and purple, red and pink, separated by black lines or faded together to make something. Part of you wanted to ask, but there was something mysterious about not knowing. “I can’t even tell what they are but god, Tendou, I know they’re gorgeous.”

He shivered at your featherlight touches, the feel of your fingers skimming delicately over his skin, and your words caused fire to erupt in his stomach and chest. His tattoos were something he was extremely proud of, one of the few things he had that made him feel confident, and hearing you compliment them made him feel so fucking good. Chucking his jacket out into the room, he returned to your side and the two of you got comfortable.

Pressing play on the movie for the 3rd time, the two of you fell silent. With your head below his chin, it was the perfect position for him to see the screen over you. You could feel the warmth rolling off of him, only an inch of space between his chest and your back, and both of you were well aware of it.

It was nearly impossible to focus on the movie, trying to reign in the urge to just slide back a little bit and mold yourself to him. Nibbling at your lip, you rolled just a little under the pretense of stretching and bumped into him. Just your arm into his, and he didn’t move away.

“You good? Need more space? I can crawl under the bed if you want,” he said, smirking at you. He thought he knew what you were playing at, but your next words confirmed it. It was the oldest trick in the book and, even though no one had ever used it on him, he had seen it at work with Semi and Shirabu too many times.

“Just stretching. I’m still a bit cold though,” you said, facing the TV again.

Suppressing a snicker, knowing damn well that wasn’t what you were after, he offered, “I can get you another blanket, if you need it.”

The silhouette of your shoulders fell, and you couldn’t hide the sigh that accompanied it. “It’s alright, Tendo. It’s not that bad.”

You really should have seen that coming, you guessed. The swell of hope and the crash of disappointment was painful in your chest, and you tried to focus on the movie again, ignoring the tempting warmth at your back. If he wasn’t interested, he wasn’t interested. It was cool.

Which was why you jumped when a weight settled over your side, a snicker filtering behind you as he molded himself to your back. It was slow, hesitant, and you would guess he was trying to make sure you were alright with it. Warmth seeped through your t-shirt and you sighed happily, shimmying back into him out of instinct, and this time you could feel his quiet laughter in his chest.

His arms were so long that he had to fold it in front of you, hand coming to rest just underneath your chin, and when you relaxed so did he. With his chin resting atop your head now, he asked, “Better? This is what you wanted, right?”

“Shut up,” you whined, hiding your face in your hand. It was embarrassing enough without him having to tease you about it. But you supposed it wouldn’t be Tendo if he didn’t make fun of you for everything. It was so easy after that to focus on the movie, now that you had gotten what you wanted. The snacks lay forgotten near your feet, not wanting to move and mess up the delicate balance that was now between the two of you.

It was tenuous and any small movement from either of you could send it toppling in either direction, and you weren’t even sure what it depended on. You knew for sure which way you would like to see it go, but it was just as comfortable the way it was.

Silence fell again until the movie ended, which was the only reason you moved. You could probably have fallen asleep like that, but you weren’t ready yet, wanting to bask in whatever you had with Tendo for a while longer.

When you sat up to change the next movie, Tendo rolled over onto his back, watching you fiddle around with it. Sweat beaded on the back of his neck and he shifted uncomfortably. Seemed you felt the same because you turned to look at him, an apology written on your face.

“Sorry, do you mind if I go change into shorts. It’s actually too warm for these now,” you said, setting the DVD case back on the pile. You felt like you were suffocating in your thick winter leggings now, but if he wasn’t okay with that then you would suffer a little longer. At least until you melted.

“Oh thank god you said something. I was about to die in these sweatpants, I swear,” he answered, fanning his face with his hand. You were pretty sure he was just exaggerating that though. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”

“Nope,” you said, popping the ‘p’, and crawled towards the escape flap, wincing at the sound of crunching and crinkling under your knees all of a sudden. “Oops.”

“Oh those had better not have been mine,” he whined, flashing the light of his phone towards the bag. He groaned, seeing his bag of doritos crushed. He could hear you snicker outside the sheet as you walked away and growled, “Watch it. Yours are still in here, _____.”

You opened a drawer as he finally came out as well and began rifling through his bag, pulling out the pair of shorts he’d packed. When you turned around with a pair of soft shorts in your hands, you found him standing awkwardly in the middle of your room again and laughed. “I’ll go change in the bathroom. I gotta use it anyway. I’ll be right back.”

Your footsteps receded down the hall and he raced to get changed before you came back. His sweats landed on his backpack and he shrugged at himself. What did it matter, so long as they weren’t on your floor?

The sound of the sink reached his ears just as he was climbing back into the fort, frowning at his crushed chips even as he shoved a handful into his mouth. He was so gonna make you pay for a new bag, especially because you had laughed. The door creaked open and the flap shifted, and he almost choked on his chips as he realized just how short your shorts were. Were your legs always that long? And smooth? And pretty? Shit.

“How are your chip fragments?” you joked as you made yourself comfortable beside him again. Your hair fanned out behind you and you gathered it up off the base of your neck, twisting it around so that it spread out above you instead. How the fuck was the back of your neck sexy*?

He was so screwed.

“Uh,” he replied. Smooth, Satori. Shaking his head, he tried to gather his thoughts and focus them literally anywhere else. It worked. Sort of. “Pointy. You owe me a new bag.”

You scoffed, smiling at the car full of vacationing teenagers on the laptop. “There’s like four other bags in here. Quit whining.”

But he wasn’t giving it up, throwing his bag into the corner and hopefully out of the way of your carelessness. Settling behind you like he had before, he once again left space between you, afraid now of how his body might react if he didn’t. “No, all of them suck.”

You definitely noticed the gap and wondered if he was just waiting for you to take the initiative, so you did. Before he could blink, you were once again molded to his chest, head tucked under his chin and knees folded around his. He tensed, fingers curling into a fist while he willed himself to chill.

His arm came down around you again, but you could feel how stiff he was. When you made to move forward again, to give him space, his arm locked, even pulling you back again and you grinned. With his arm now lit up properly by the light of the laptop, you realized you could see the tattoos more clearly, and began to trace the stars and fish on his arm.

“Aren’t these the spirit fish from Avatar?” you asked, skimming over the white and black koi. It was a watercolor piece, lacking the heavy lines like the ones on his other arm, and you felt him nod against the top of your head. “They’re gorgeous. Who’s your artist?”

“A friend of mine in Miyagi did those,” he answered, watching you continue to trail up his arms. Goosebumps were raising the fine hairs all over his body, your touches so gentle and intimate, your focus rapt. Higher up near his elbow was what appeared to be two jolly rogers, but they weren’t the normal ones. “Those are from a pirate manga I read in Jump,” he said before you could ask, and you smoothed your hand over them before sliding it back up near his hand.

His heart skipped a beat when your fingers curled into his palm, hesitating before you slipped them between his. He was sure you could feel his heart pounding away in his chest, unaware that you couldn’t because yours was racing fast enough that you were lightheaded. Folding his fingers down over your hand locked them together, but you didn’t try to pull away. If anything, you tried to cuddle up closer to him, dragging your hands so that they were pressed to your chest. It was the most intimate thing he had experienced in recent memory and if his heart didn’t slow down it was going to explode.

The movie wasn’t holding his interest and a new question cropped up in his mind, one he had wondered more than once before tonight and he couldn’t figure out why he thought of it now, but he latched onto it because otherwise he really thought he was going to combust. Besides, it would ease some of his insecurity if he got an answer.

“What took you so long to set this up, anyway? I kind of thought you had changed your mind for a while,” he said, staring at the screen. He was sort of taking it in, an anchor point so he didn’t get lost in his thoughts.

Your chest rumbled against his hand when you hummed, and your answer was so mundane and rational that he almost laughed. “Well a part of it was wanting to get to know you a bit before we did this. Didn’t want to invite a total stranger to spend the night, after all. And then it was just a matter of waiting for my roommates to freakin’ leave.”

“Oh, are your roommates actually gone*?” he asked in surprise. He had thought they were just out for the night and would be home-- probably not soon, given the time, but still. “Like, for the weekend?”

You hummed again in agreement, twirling the ends of your hair absently around your fingers. You were locked onto the movie, absorbed as Leatherface chased one of the characters he didn’t care about through the yard. He fell quiet, thinking you wanted to watch uninterrupted, but then you asked, “That’s alright, right? They would have just wanted to join in otherwise and they can’t stand horror movies either, so they would’ve just talked through it.”

Exactly like he was doing, he realized, and his face grew hot. Hopefully he hadn’t already annoyed you. He nodded, responding in a much quieter voice. “It’s fine. Was just surprised, I guess.”

For a while, neither of you said anything and Tendo managed to focus on the movie, feeling you jump and twitch every once in a while at scares you weren’t expecting. Unfortunately, those movements were brushing against areas that he really didn’t need them too and your shorts did nothing to diminish the curve of your ass against him or the slowly growing hard on he was getting. It didn’t help that every time he shifted even a little you would just follow him, as if he wasn’t pinned by your hand holding his.

But shit, if he didn’t move soon he was going to be screwed. The bathroom-- that would get him out of there before he embarrassed the fuck out of himself.

It was too late, though. You flinched and ground your ass back into him and he groaned before he could help it. You froze, he froze, he just really wanted to die.

“I-- Sorry. I’m really sorry,” he said, tugging at his hand to try and escape. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but the best option was probably to leave and transfer to a school in a whole different country. He could already hear your words now, an echo of so many times before, the sting of disappointment a familiar feeling around his heart.

“I’m sorry, Tendo. I just don’t see you that way.”

It was because he was a freak with a weird name and creepy eyes and-- fuck. It was high school all over again, being rejected by someone he genuinely thought liked him only to find out they were using him to get to Ushijima or pretending to as a fucking joke, only this time Ushijima wasn’t around and he had really gotten himself into it by agreeing to any of this.

But you were refusing to let his hand go, holding so tight he thought his fingers might break, saying his name until he came back down from his panicked high.

“Tendo, Tendo, calm down, please,” you were begging. You had rolled onto your back, unable to sit up because you were using both your hands to keep him from jumping up and taking the whole fort down. You could see it on his face when he finally heard you, wide vermillion eyes locking with yours while his heart continued to race.

He remained propped up on his elbow, ready to run at the first opportunity, and you almost felt bad for antagonizing him as much as you had. If you had known your teasing was going to get him this riled up, you would have tried a different tactic-- or not tried it at all. Maybe you had pushed too far too soon, and the skittish look in his pretty eyes worried you that you had ruined it.

“It’s alright, Tendo,” you said, trying to keep your voice quiet and soothing. It felt an awful lot like you were dealing with a wary animal-- like a coyote or a fox. When the insistent tension in his arm faded is when you relaxed your death grip on his fingers.

The sound of the movie was too loud in the unnatural silence between you, and you rolled over to turn it down. When it was only a background buzz, you turned back to him. He was still staring at you without blinking, his eyes devoid of the panic from earlier but now they were eerily blank.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, deadpan. He flinched when you took his hand again, forehead scrunching in confusion. “I don’t understand. There’s no way you-- What are you doing?”

It was your turn to be confused, pursing your lips at him. He sounded so lost-- and wary again-- like a child. For the first time, you wondered what his childhood had actually been like. He talked an awful lot about Ushiwaka and Semi, and the volleyball club in general, but you heard nothing outside of that. It made you suspicious now.

“What am I doing?” you parroted, finally sitting up. Your joined hands fell into your lap and you stared down at them, petting the back of his hand with your free one. “Do you not want me to?”

His words were stuck in his throat, trapped by the lump there, and he swallowed thickly. His mouth felt like cotton, and he shook his head, croaking out, “It isn’t that. I just don’t understand why.”

“Why what?” you asked, gentle amusement in your voice. There was no teasing, no malicious undertones that he could hear, like you were waiting to spring the final part of the joke on him. And he was listening for it. After years of dealing with it, he had learned to recognize it in people’s words and on their faces. The way their lips would curl and their eyes would narrow just before cruelty would spew from their mouths, he knew the tells and you--

Had none.

There was nothing but open curiosity and nervousness-- and hope. A lot of hope swirled in your eyes and he swallowed again. He was just going to disappoint you. If not tonight then tomorrow, if not tomorrow then next week. It was going to happen--

“Why do you like me? How do you like me? I’m-- weird. And you’re--” He gestured frantically up and down at all of you. You weren’t anything he was-- a freak. With freaky eyes and a freaky name and a freaky personality.

“I-- um,” you said, and you couldn’t help but smile. There was clearly a lot of baggage with him, and his questions made that obvious. It was likely too much to unpack tonight, especially when you were still only just getting to know each other. Reassurance was what he needed, and that was something you could offer on the spot. “You’re funny...and sweet and...very good looking. Your eyes are so pretty. Um, there’s also the fact that you’re the only person who would watch these movies with me, which earns you a lot of points, in my opinion,” you said, tapping your lips as you stared up at the ceiling.

Your face was on fire as you listed things off the top of your head, your throat tight with anxiety as you wondered what he would say in response. They were all surface level things for now, but you knew underneath the armor that there was a lot more to Tendo, and you hoped you had a chance to discover it.

He groaned low in his throat, not from disgust but from a deep seated need to believe you meant those things. His forehead met your shoulder, his fingers squeezing yours. He didn’t fight it when you eased back down, following after you without a word, leaving his face hidden in your neck. He was still trying to gather his thoughts and calm his overworked heart. It would be so easy to reject you and be on his way, to return home and beat himself up for letting himself get too close and too comfortable with you when he knew nothing would come of it.

Except something had come of it and he wasn’t sure what to do now. Semi and Ushijima always told him he was too closed off and that someone was going to come around who actually liked him and his ‘weird ass’ and that he was going to lose that chance because of some stupid high school assholes. Was he though? He wanted to believe you, wanted to trust you, and slowly he relaxed, his stress leaving him in a long, tired exhale.

“You mean it?” he whispered against your neck, and you could feel his lashes tickle your skin when he blinked. His arm was heavy where his hand rested on your stomach, fingers intertwined with yours, and you squeezed his hand as tight as you could.

“I do. I like you and really want a chance to get to know you better,” you whispered back, and it suddenly felt like no one existed but the two of you, protected from everything in the world outside by a few sheets and each other's warmth. There would be things to discuss and hiccups to overcome, but you could worry about those tomorrow. In that moment, all you wanted was to prove to Tendo you wanted him.

Maybe it was your words, whispered softly into the dark, or your hand gripping his for dear life, or the way you let him cling to you like a lifeline, or maybe it was a combination, but when he pulled back from his hiding place and found you staring at him, he slotted his lips against yours without thinking. Your lips parted almost immediately, free hand sliding out from between your bodies to tangle in the close cropped hair at the nape of his neck and you used it to pull yourself closer.

When your tongue poked out to glide across the seam of his lips, he let you in on a breath, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. His eyes were squeezed shut tight as your tongue met his, praying that what was happening wasn’t a dream, and he wasn’t expecting it when you gasped and pulled away all of a sudden.

His eyes popped open and he stared down at you with panic. “What? Did I do something wrong?”

“I-- forgot you have a tongue ring,” you said, and the laughed. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

He blinked like an owl, eyes wide as he processed your words. It wasn’t something that he had ever expected to hear in his life, let alone from the girl he was half-making out with in a freakin’ pillow fort. He suddenly wondered if his life had turned into a Shounen Jump manga.

“Well, so are you,” he said, and leaned in for another kiss.

It was kind of hot to see him confident and you felt heat pool in your stomach, starting to bleed further down as his tongue slipped into your mouth again. He tasted like the root beer he had been drinking all night, and you couldn’t resist toying with the piercing, swirling your tongue around it and listening to him moan against your mouth.

Your shirt had ridden up your stomach as you moved around, trying to get closer to him, and neither of you realized it until Tendo’s hand smoothed over your skin. He froze mid-kiss, waiting for your reaction, and was unsurprised when your hand grabbed his.

What he didn’t expect was for you to guide it upwards, letting go when you hit your ribs to cup his cheek. Pulling back just enough that he could speak against your lips, he asked, “Are you sure?”

“Frankly, Tendo,” you said, and kissed him again before you continued, “I haven’t wanted anyone this bad in forever. Even if we wake up tomorrow and change our minds, I am fucking sure right now.”

He groaned, letting his hand hike your shirt up a little higher until his hand cupped under your breast. He wasn’t sure when you had taken your bra off, or maybe you hadn’t been wearing one the whole time, but there was nothing impeding his skin from caressing yours. Your breast was so soft in his hand, topped by a pretty pink nipple that he couldn’t resist pinching. You mewled underneath him, pulling your shirt up to uncover your other breast and he moved to that one, doing the same and feeling your nipple harden at his touch.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he rasped, gazing down the length of your body. Your thighs were clenched, and his hand migrated lower, fingertips skimming over your skin.

The heat that was pooling earlier erupted when they met the waistband of your shorts, but he paused, looking unsure again.

“Tendo, I’ll show you how much I want this,” you whispered and grabbed his hand. He was still hesitant, looking at your face as you slid his hand into your panties, and his eyes widened.

“You’re so wet,” he groaned, his fingers gliding over your soaked lips, spreading your slick all over them. His fingers quickly found your clit, circling it and you squeezed his hand between your thighs, hips jerking. “All because of me? I’m flattered.”

Teasing at your soaked opening, he waited for you to balk but you only twitched, panting against his lips before he sunk one finger in, your walls parting easily. You moaned and he swallowed it in a kiss, his tongue filling your mouth again. It wasn’t long before he was fitting a second finger, crooking them up and grazing your sweet spot, his thumb taking over massaging your clit as he pumped them inside you. Your arousal was already high enough that you could feel your orgasm coming on, and you pulled away to announce it.

“T-Tendo, gonna--” You gasped when he forced them in deeper, a mischievous smirk on his face as he prodded your cervix. “How-- fuck, your fingers are so long,” you whined, toes curling.

“Think you can take one more?” he asked, already fitting the tip of a third finger in. But it was only when you nodded, tears pricking the corners of your eyes that he slipped it in. Your teeth dug into your lip before they parted in a soundless cry.

The coil snapped on the first thrust and he groaned, drinking in your face as he tipped you over the edge. No one had ever cum so prettily for him before and he wanted to see it again.

But only if you wanted it. His cock throbbed painfully in his shorts when he pulled his fingers from your twitching hole, feeling you shudder against him. Examining his glistening fingers in the screen light, he slid one experimentally into his mouth and moaned. “You taste so good, princess.”

You gasped at the pet name, a warmth unrelated to the one between your legs blooming in your chest. He said it was such reverence that you flushed, hoping he’d say it again at some point. Never had anyone called you that before, at least in that context.

When he laid back down beside you, his erection brushed against your leg and he stifled a groan. He was wearing boxers but the friction against his cock was still a pleasurable sensation. Not as much as your hand might be--

Speaking of hands, he nearly jumped out of his skin when you cupped him, squeezing and kneading up the length of him confined in his clothes. A shaky breath ripped out of him, the result of him barely containing a moan, and his long fingers wrapped around your wrist to stop you.

“That’s alright, _____. You don’t have to--” But you weren’t listening and the pressure felt too good. His head fell back, eyes fluttering closed, content to let you literally massage his dick until you started tugging at his shorts. He stopped you more insistently then, pulling your hand away. “Wait a second. Let me get ‘em off since you’re so eager, princess.”

He pulled his shirt over his head first, because it was getting way too hot in there anyway, and then kicked his shorts and boxers off into the dark corner. His cock bobbed against his stomach as he rolled onto his side again, leaking precum already.

Your hand was soft against his stomach, roaming over the hard planes of his abs and down further, until it wrapped lightly around his head.

And froze.

“What the-- Tendo, what are those?” you asked in a high pitched, startled tone. Before he could answer, you let go and rolled onto your back, exposing him to the light and you thought for sure you had died and gone to heaven.

It wasn’t just his arms that were covered in ink. His shoulders, chest, and sides were all covered in it as well, swirls and splashes of color interrupted by splotches of black or white or skin. You could hardly make out what the images were in the flickering, inconsistent light, but you recognized flowers and circles, and on his pec you were pretty sure there was a scene of a lake bathed in moonlight. And as your eyes followed the path of colors down, you landed on the thing that had startled you in the first place.

“Those are--” you breathed, taking his cock into your hand again. There was a ball at the tip, covered in precum, and you knew if you traced down, you would find another just below the crown. Further down on his shaft were five horizontal barbells in a row, and you recognized it as a Jacob’s Ladder. “Fuck me.”

“Gladly,” Tendo quipped and pounced. He settled between your legs and tugged your shorts down over your hips, and you had to hold your legs up to let him pull them the rest of the way off. He was too tall to sit straight up without brushing his head against the ceiling, but he braced back on his arms when you grabbed his shaft again. He groaned when you fondled the ball below his crown, shuddering at the intense pleasure. It was one of the major reasons he’d gotten it- to enhance the sensations. But the feel of your fingers gliding over his tip, gathering the precum and nudging the ball was something else entirely. “Holy shit, that feels amazing.”

His voice sent shivers through you, deep and raspy and way too needy. But you were unsure of what would hurt him, so you kept your touches light, feeling his thighs tense under yours, his fingers squeezing your calves as he let you explore. Before long though, he was pulling your hand away, pinning it down at your side. “Can’t keep that up, princess. I need more, if you’re alright with it,” he said, letting his cock settle against your cunt.

The piercings were warm and pronounced against your folds, and you shuddered when the ball under his head grazed your clit. The thought of them inside you, rubbing all along your walls as he fucked you was too much and you could feel yourself growing wetter, your pussy drooling for it.

“Yes, Tendo, please. I want it, I want to feel them inside me,” you begged, rocking your hips. The stimulation was mind blowing and your walls clenched, empty and needy for him to fill you up. And he would, his cock was huge-- he still had room for more piercings below the ones he had. You had no doubt you would be stretching to take him and you keened in the back of your throat.

“I want you to call me Satori, princess. And I need you to let me know if it’s uncomfortable,” he said, pressing the tip of his cock into your sopping hole. “Sometimes they make it hurt, but you’re so fucking wet I don’t think it will. You really like these, huh?”

You were really just answering his question as you said yes, but a stream of them fell out of your mouth as he pushed the rest of his cock inside you, encouraging him to continue. The stretch was so good, your walls splitting easily for him, and you could feel every ball just like you had imagined grazing against your walls. The ball at his slit rested snugly against your cervix, and you didn’t even realize you were screaming as you came, hips jerking in his hands as he let you ride it out.

He was staring at you with what could only be awe, his mouth slack and eyes wide with surprise. “Holy fuck, princess, did you just cum?”

Your breaths were coming in pants as your mind spun, trying to come down from the unexpected high. It came on so suddenly you had no time to prepare, and tears slid down your cheeks. “F-Feels so good,” you whispered, fingers digging into the blanket beneath you. “Satori, oh my god.”

“Are you alright? We can stop--” he said, but you shook your head frantically, locking your ankles around his back, and he laughed under his breath. You sure were something else. He knew for a fact no one had ever come just from him sliding into them and a swell of pride filled his chest. “No? Alright, whatever you want, princess. Can I move?”

This time you nodded and he was slow as he pulled back, making sure you were okay. You were so tight around him from your orgasm, your walls fluttering with overstimulation, but your back arched when he stuffed himself back in, a breathy moan slipping out of you. Hiking your legs higher up on his hips, he bent over you, gathering your hands and pinning them above your head, lacing his fingers with yours. His lips met yours as he thrust into you slowly, grinding deep and stifling a moan. Once again you were playing with his tongue ring, flicking it as you suckled on his tongue. The fort-- and probably the room-- was filled with the wet slap of his hips on yours every time he drove his cock into you, drowning out the low buzz of the forgotten movie still playing. He was being careful, waiting for you to stop being so sensitive, and he knew you were ready when you arched into his chest and pulled away.

“So good, Satori,” you murmured against his lips, hips rising to meet his. Your eyes were glazed and fucked out, tears still flowing and you could already feel the start of another orgasm, but he was moving too slow. The drag and pull of his piercings had almost all of your attention, the ball at his tip constantly tapping your cervix, making your toes curl with every thrust. “You’re so big, and those-- fuck-- piercings feel so good inside me. I can feel them all everywhere.”

He snickered darkly at that and kissed your cheek. “You wanna feel even better, kitten?” he whispered into your ear, nipping the shell. He could feel you nod against his cheek, nails digging into his hands where he kept them pinned above your head, and then he was letting them go and pulling out of you. You whined, staring up at him in dismay, but he already had your thighs in his hands, prodding you to roll over. “Trust me, pretty girl. On your stomach, just like that.”

It was a bit difficult to get comfortable, but he grabbed a pillow and jammed it beneath your hips before settling with his legs outside of yours. And when you shook your ass, begging him to hurry up, he couldn’t deny you, not when he wanted to be back inside your tight heat so badly.

“Holyshitholyshitholyshit,” you whined, high-pitched and breathless as he finally filled you again. His thighs trembled as he forced himself not to just stuff himself into you, you were so tight. And the way you were crying and shuddering beneath him wasn’t helping, especially when you gasped his given name like a prayer. “*Satori, oh my god.”

If you thought those piercings felt good before, you were in heaven now. Everyone of them dragged slowly over the front wall of your cunt, grinding into your sweet spot and you had to bite the pillow to keep from outright screaming. And he was so, so, so big inside you, but with your legs trapped between his there was nothing you could do but take him. Against your will, your legs kicked, hitting him in the back as you wailed into the pillow, tears streaming down your cheeks in an endless flood.

He snarled into your ear as he planted his elbows beside your head, plastering himself to your back. “You are so fucking tight, princess. How do those piercings feel now?”

“So good so good so good,” you babbled, circling your hips back on his dick to get any friction you could. The orgasm that had been building came back ten fold just from him hilting inside of you and you knew that if he fucked you like this you would be cumming in seconds. “‘Tori, please move, please please please.”

Your needy begging made his cock twitch and you whimpered as he slowly pulled out of you and pushed back in, intentionally slow to let you feel everything. The pleasure was ebbing and flowing, building and falling because he wasn’t moving fast enough, but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask him to go faster, not when you could feel him so clearly. Every time he bottomed out, he made sure to grind down into you, nudging your cervix with the tip of his cock so he could feel you clench suddenly around him. It never failed to make him moan, your slick walls gripping him so tightly as he dragged himself back out. He wanted to make your pussy his new home and barring that he was going to fuck the shape of his cock into you.

“Tell me what you need to make you cum, princess,” he whispered into your ear. He knew what he needed, but he was still learning what would make you feel good.

Releasing the pillow from your teeth, the first thing you did was moan out his name again as he buried himself inside you again. You were so close to cumming, your clit throbbing with need and if he even brushed it you were going to be gushing all over him. You gasped as he thrust a little harder than before.

“If you don’t answer me I’ll just keep going like this, kitten. I can go for hours, if you want,” he whispered, warm against your ear. That made you twitch underneath him, and he chuckled. “You like the sound of that? We’ll try it another time. Right now, I need you to tell me where you want me to cum and how I can make you cum, okay?”

His words were dark and sweet and coaxing, and you were sure you had never whined so much in your whole life. “Touch me, please, Satori. I wanna cum all over your cock and pretty piercings while you cum in me, oh fuck.”

Bracing himself on his elbow, he forced his hand beneath your stomach, aided by you lifting your hips, and you whimpered when he finally, finally brushed your clit. It was all it took and you had to bite the pillow again as you creamed all over his cock, whiting out and screaming into it as you shuddered and jerked. He eased you through it, leaving his cock buried inside you while he fondled your clit, listening to you whimper and moan. It was a good thing you had hidden your face because you would surely have woken the whole complex up otherwise.

He groaned into your ear as you massaged his cock, so tight that you launched him into his own orgasm, cumming inside you as you had asked. He remained still inside of you even after you had relaxed, leaving small kisses all over your hair before he leaned down to rest his head on the pillow. He had fucked you so slowly that he hadn’t broken a sweat, and yet he was still out of breath and panting. His head swam for several more minutes, until you shifted beneath him. But you didn’t move like you wanted him to get off.

Instead, you turned to look at him, a lazy, blissed out grin on your face and said, “Holy shit, that was so amazing. I’ve never cum so many times.”

“So were you. I’ve never made someone cum so many times,” he admitted, and replayed the way you came just because he had filled you. That was something he was unlikely to ever forget. He brushed some hair out of your face before leaning in to kiss you. It was slow and gentle, belying how tired the two of you now were, and he could see you were ready to fall asleep. “Gonna pull out of you now, princess. Need you to stay nice and relaxed, okay?”

You nodded, your eyes closing and winced as he slid from your ruined hole. A stream of cum followed after and he took a moment to appreciate it, allowing a smirk to steal across his face. There was no doubt you were his now, at least for a little while, and he committed it all to memory before gently gripping your shoulders. “We should really get cleaned up, then we can go to sleep.”

You grumbled cutely but let him help you up, the both of you stumbling blindly to the bathroom. Sleepiness was a thick fog, and you got cleaned up as quickly as possible before returning to the room. The two of you stood in the doorway, looking at the mess of nonsense covering the bed, and then you looked at Tendou.

“Let’s just sleep in there,” you suggested, taking him by the hand. He let you lead him over, watching the way your ass swayed as you crawled into the fort for hopefully the final time that night. In the few minutes it had taken him to get in after you, you had already pulled a blanket over your legs and were setting up the next movie to play. Not that you would be watching it, but he understood it was the principle of the thing. This was a movie marathon and it just wouldn’t do to fall asleep without being in the middle of one.

Once he’d gotten comfortable behind you, you rolled over and splayed out across his chest, startling him. He had expected to curl himself around your back while you went to sleep, but now you were tracing what lines you could see on his chest in the thin light. His hand rested on your waist, the other tucked behind his head, and he closed his eyes, comfortable with your warmth and weight in his arms.

“Satori,” you murmured, your hand falling flat right over the picture of the lake. “I really do like you.”

He laughed at that, and you could feel it rumble in your ear, deep in his chest. He was clearly as tired as you were, but you needed to say it. There was something in your half asleep brain that would not stop telling you to say it, and you were in no position to fight it.

“I figured as much, princess. Three orgasms are hard to fake, especially around a dick as big as mine,” he answered, and you blanched for a moment before erupting into laughter. He watched you through narrow eyes, fondness bubbling in his chest, until you settled back down against him. “You’re absolutely gorgeous, you know that?”

“So’re you,” you murmured. The nagging had stopped now that you had said what you needed too, and you were falling asleep quickly. “Don’t be gone when I wake up tomorrow, okay?”

“It already is tomorrow, and I’ll be here. There’s nowhere else I wanna be anyway,” he answered, letting his eyes close as well. With your comfortable weight on his chest and your even breathing mixing with the buzzing of the movie in the background in his ears, he drifted to sleep in no time, for once not worrying about what tomorrow would bring.

⇥ masterlist

⇥ taglist: @visaintes, @kunimwuah

#tendo x reader #tendou x reader #tendo satori x reader #satori tendo x reader #tendou satori x reader #satori tendou x reader #haikyuu x reader #.monster

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calicoconstellation · 2 years ago

Text

──── ʚ ᓚᘏᗢ 𐑂 ────

❥・🎨 ❛ The Calico Constellation ❜

We are the Calico Constellation, an odd lil family of nonhumans who share a physical body. We are primarily a traumagenic UDD system with a couple endogenic median headmates. Collectively: Calico or Cali

❥・🐾 Quick info

・Collectively uses all pronouns

・An adult

・ADHD autistic synesthete

・Physically disabled

❥・🌈 Identities

・Plural system

・Queer as fuck

・Transpecies & alterhuman

❥・🎶 Boundaries

・Treat us as separate people

・Do not debate us on our existence

・Do not debate us on syscourse

・Respect our individual boundaries

⋆＊⋆ ˚°•̩̩͙⋆✩⋆•̩̩͙°˚ ⋆＊⋆ ˚°•̩̩͙⋆✩⋆•̩̩͙°˚ ⋆＊⋆

❥・💖 ❛ Evren Fae ❜

❛ The most anxious ball of fluff I’ve ever met (affectionate) ❜ -Jace

❥・🌈 Quick info

・Any pronouns (neos and it/its preferred)

・Nonhuman shapeshifter

・Circus performer and theatre kid

・Collects and is obsessed with alpaca stuffies

❥・🫧 Identities

・Genderqueer trans enboy

・Ace and some shade of gay

・Toothless fictionkind

・ Luz Noceda fictionkind

・Alpacalink

・Winged cat therian

❥・☁️ Boundaries

・Always ask to touch unless close

・Ask once before using petnames

・Don’t use the tone tags “/nm” or “/npa” with me please, it triggers paranoia

❀ ~ ♡ ~ ❁ ~ ♡ ~ ✿ ~ ♡ ~ ❀ ~

❥・🦋 ❛ Saffron ❜

❛ The definition of a cottagecore lesbian ❜ -Fae

❥・🌼 Quick info

・She/her and petal/petals pronouns

・An elf angel

・Obsessed with flowers and nature

・Loves yoga and mindfulness

❥・🧚🏻‍♀️ Identities

・Woman

・Lesbian

・Faekind

・Has many clicks - feel free to ask!

❥・🕊 Boundaries

・Okay with petnames

・Ask once before touching

・Uncomfy with medical terms, please don’t medicalize

・Don’t use the tone tags “/nm” or “/npa” with me please, it triggers paranoia

♤ — ♡ — ♢ — ♧ — ♤ — ♡

❥・🐾 ❛ Jace ❜

❛ His DND alignment is true neutral. Not because he’s ever nuetral on anything, but because he switches between every extreme so rapidly none of us can keep track ❜ -Fae

❥・🍬 Quick info

・He/him pronouns

・Catlike demon boy

・Proud protector and caretaker

・Enjoys cleaning, looking after others, and philosophical questions

❥・🎃 Identities

・Agender

・Aroace

・Black cat hearted

❥・🕸 Boundaries

・Do not touch

・Do not petname

・Only headmates get to call me nicknames

･｡ﾟ. ✧ : . ☽｡ﾟ✧ﾟ: . ☽｡ﾟ✧ﾟ: .･

❥・🌙 ❛ Catra ❜

❛ I’m the catboy girlboss from your nightmares ❜ -Catra

❥・🐾 Quick info

・He/she pronouns, alternating

・Spiritual Catra fictive

・Extremely passionate

・I don’t do respectability politics. Get over it.

・I love talking about my homeworld, feel free to ask me stuff

❥・💫 Identities

・Bigender tranny

・Demi-aroace dyke

❥・🔥 Boundaries

・No touch

・No petnames

・Don’t disrespect my spiritual beliefs

・Don’t separate me from my source to make me less “problematic”

・Do tell me if you think I’m hot, it’ll make my day

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

❥・⚔️ ❛ Adora ❜

❛ You’re such an idiot <3 ❜ -Catra

❥・🦄 Quick info

・Any pronouns just not it/its

・Lawful good

・Loves horses and swords

・Still figuring out this whole system thing

❥・🗡 Identities

・Lesbian

・Girl…?

❥・❤️‍🔥 Boundaries

・Ask once before using petnames

・Always ask to touch

・Not comfortable answering personal questions

꒷꒦︶꒦︶꒷︶꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶꒦︶꒷︶

❥・👑 ❛ King Rexie ❜

❛ My sunshine <3 ❜ -Fae

❥・🌟 Quick info

・He/him pronouns

・King Clawthorne fictive

・Syskid

・Loves royal aesthetics and Pokémon

・Extremely extroverted

❥・🐾 Identities

・Fox therian

・Boy but in a nonhuman way

❥・🏰 Boundaries

・Okay with petnames

・Always ask to touch unless close

・Not comfortable answering personal questions

꒷︶꒷꒦ ₓ ˚. ୭ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ୧ .˚ ₓ ︶꒷꒦

❥・☀️ ❛ Summer ❜

❛ my little sister!! <3 ❜ -Rexie

❥・🧸 Quick info

・ Goes by Summer, Sunny, and Honey

・Testing out pronouns

・Nonverbal and nonscribble

・Syskid

❥・🌻 Identities

・Grizzlybear-hearted

・Vee fictionkind

・Not quite human..?

・Shrugs

❥・🐻 Boundaries

・Nicknames welcome

・Ask every time before using petnames

・Ask every time before touching

──── ʚ ᓚᘏᗢ 𐑂 ────

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tojigasm · 3 years ago

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hii so i get that u don’t write or like dc and that’s completely okay, but are u yourself anti dc ? i didn’t see a “dc blogs dni” on ur blog and if that’s the case i would rather know than to keep interacting bc ngl seeing a lot of anti dc rhetoric from ur anons is uncomfy and i’d rather not see someone say that my way of coping w my trauma is “unacceptable “ frequently. again this is no hate towards u i just want to know before i continue to interact <3 /g /nm

Imma keep it real with you, how you cope is none of my business and I've never said it was unacceptable and I don't think any of my anons have either (if they have, I haven't commented on it) but as someone with who has trauma relating to r*** I would never ever judge someone else on how they choose to cope. I speak for myself and myself alone when i say that reading it makes me uncomfortable and triggers me and so that's why I don't write it personally and why it kinda ruined my favorite character for me when I first entered the fandom and that's why I decided to write my own fics that make me feel comfortable instead of having to bounce around the ones that don't with the potential of giving me flashbacks. I don't mind if any dc blogs interact with me because again, how you cope isn't my business, but don't ask me to write anything surrounding the topic. This is kinda a last call too, I don't like the anons talking to me about dc because it personally makes me uncomfortable which I've voiced many times and people kinda just go on rants about certain fics they've found that they didn't enjoy but I don't answer those asks with the intent of shaming people who use dc to cope, I answer them with very little to say most of the time (and I thought that it was kinda obvious with the way I reply with constantly mentioning i don't wanna talk about it and that it makes me sick that i wasn't really comfortable talking about those fics). Again, I don't like talking about the subject, I don't care if you interact, but please stop bringing up the subject because it makes me upset (I've added it to my rules to not approach me about these topics) . I'm sorry if this came off as kinda aggressive in any way, i ended up having a panic attack last night due to another anon talking about a fic they found so i'm a lil overwhelmed.

#tojisfangs<3 #sam vents x

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juleswritesthis · 3 years ago

Text

Roswell NM 3x11 Thoughts (I have a lot of thoughts!!!)

Contrary to popular opinion I really liked this episode. Yes, the science was so made up it was funny, yes certain character choices are hilariously silly, yes there was a lot of scenes filled with exposition dump, yes characters disappearing for episodes not to be mentioned as if they don’t exist is jarring & annoying, and omg yes, the Wyatt arc (if you can call it that) fell flat and was a complete waste of valuable screen time. So yes, I agree with most everyone’s assessment. That said still a very enjoyable and entertaining episode setting up the final concluding 2 hours of the season. Let’s get into it.

Jones is highly entertaining, overly good looking, and sometimes hilarious villain. Nathan shines bringing charm and depth to the role. Its important to note that Jones hasn’t caused any lasting damage to the group. Sure, he has tried to kill various members, he’s responsible for putting Maria in a coma & has kidnapped half the cast basically, kept our heroes busy all season. But when it comes to killing or destruction it’s really been focused on the dregs or racist folks of the town, the poor scientist in Santa Fe (I think it was Santa Fe) & the lady at the university last week. No one of any real consequence to our heroes. Now I have no idea if Maria’s vision arc has concluded because it hasn’t been mentioned in forever, but I’m assuming that there will be a major death by season end. Noah killed Rosa and the 2 other girls, abused Isobel for 10 years and destroyed the lives of all the mains. For Jones to be a real big bad there’s got to be some long-lasting consequences to one or more of our mains. Though I’m going into the final 2 episodes with excitement there is some concern. I don’t think any of the mains will perish but I do worry about Sanders and even Heath. (I’m really worried about Sanders y’all especially after that promo!!!)

Jones negotiation with Liz was bizarre. Why negotiate at all? Wouldn’t he just threaten to kill or maim people…what the heck is Liz’s bargaining chip against an all-powerful, evil dictator? If she doesn’t do what he wants he can just start killing folks she loves. It really is that easy. I get the whole creativity inspiration thing but fear for those you love is a great motivator. I was so amused that after hours of discussion Liz pulls out the big guns… free the sheriff. Was that her wild card? Really Liz? She may be a kick-ass scientist with a boatload of courage and sass, but I wouldn’t have her negotiating any of my needs anytime soon.

Isobel and Rosa scenes continue to delight. I think it’s clear Rosa won’t be in Season 4 much. As much as I will miss her, I’m glad that she will find some peace and joy at art school, she deserves it. Unlike Wyatt who does not deserve any tranquility because his redemption (if you can call it that) was not earned. Instead, his memories were wiped along with it any true feelings of guilt and remorse. How can we believe he has truly changed? What happens if his memories return? So silly and completely wasteful screen time (no offense to the actor who is quite good and likable).

The Dallas and Max scenes were wonderful. Don’t get me wrong I prefer the show not tell method. And Dallas conveniently having the entire Oasis history in a memory from his father then regurgitating those memories to Max (and the audience) was not the best way to convey the story. However, the actor who plays Dallas is ridiculously charismatic and I could listen to him recite the phone book (do those still exist?) and be entertained. Plus, for one moment I truly believe that Dallas had gotten through to the constantly self-sacrificing, martyr that is Max Evans. But as the promo for finale proves with Max asking Michael (why Michael?) to kill him, the words didn’t stick. Oh Max…

Speaking of, I truly feel so bad for Max. He’s had it rough. In a span of couple weeks, he’s been told he is a clone of an evil dictator, he isn’t the Savior but in fact a weapon to bring down the real Savior who also isn’t really a savior but a genocidal maniac (Michael’s words not mine) who slaughtered half his planet. Not to mention the “there has to be 3” doesn’t include him, as he isn’t part of the triad. And that because he is a clone, he doesn’t actually have biological parents or siblings or anything, well Michael, by DNA sort of, maybe? Oh, and he is the only thing tethering the evil, psycho dictator to life. I mean…

My hope for Season 4 is that Max gets to process everything he has learned about his existence. He hasn’t expressed how he feels the entire season and he deserves to. I hope the writers don’t have him get over it by season’s end with one scene or worse just sweep it under the rug. Like being a clone of an evil psycho, to be used as a weapon, without any real connection to Isobel and Michael? That’s got to have some lasting effects…please writers let me see it on my screen.

Speaking of show not telling, Michael’s new powers. I not a fan of Michael telling us a story of how he used his mind control powers accidently when he was 18. Can we please see these scenes so we can feel the true emotional impact?

As for these powers, strap in, this is a doozy (and might be controversial). I, like Michael, feel that taking someone’s free will, no matter who they are is not a good power to have; it’s not fun, it’s not cool. Michael is right that’s some dark shit and a power that needs to be used very sparingly and with a ton of responsibility.

I loved the scene between Sanders and Michael, but I have a couple issues with some of the dialogue. Sanders is the only living person (other than Jones) that knew and loved Nora. Thus, he can speak about her with authority. He is also the only person who is any kind of real parent figure in Michael’s. Thus, him saying Michael has no darkness can be believed. He knows Michael and he knows Nora. However, Sanders doesn’t know what its like to have powers, especially an immense power such as mind control. Though I appreciate Sanders’ perspective (and agree with him about the purity of Michael’s soul) I wasn’t a big fan of him brushing away Michael’s fears about having mind control powers and not wanting to use them. Yes, it’s important for Michael to recognize just because he has Jones’ power doesn’t mean he is or will ever become Jones. It’s not the powers that make a person. But the line about Nora not fearing her powers was not helpful. Nora’s powers were telekinesis, engineering (if genius is a power) and possibly miraculous crop growth. None of these powers take away a person’s ability to control their actions (well telekinesis to a certain point but in nowhere near actual mind control). So of course, Nora didn’t fear her powers.

I wish someone had validated Michael’s fears instead of brushing them away with a few words of you have no darkness or in Isobel’s case you aren’t like Jones/Noah. A person does not have to be evil or bad to misuse a power like mind control & for that misuse to have dire consequences. Can you imagine being able to make people do what you want them to do at any time? Even if your intent is to do good, it doesn’t mean it’s something that should be done or won’t have major consequences. Sort of like the ends justify means conversation between Jones and Liz. What is the line, do you recognize it and what’s to stop a person from inches towards the line and what happens if you cross it?

So, my wish for next season is for Michael like Max is given time to process what he has learned about himself and his powers. My wish is for Michael is to continue to struggle with when, how and if he should use the mind control power. That way even when faced with a racist sheriff that is holding a gun to his friends, he is careful, asks for consent and never takes advantage of this tremendous power. In addition, I do think it would be very interesting to continue to explore these powers and how they maybe could change a person? Take Max’s power to give and take away life force. He killed Noah and used that life force (and his own) to bring Rosa to back to life. Seems like a good exchange but ethically and morally having a person decide who lives or dies? And how would this all fit into religion with Dallas being a priest? These could make for some great conversations and strong character development. Fingers crossed we see some of it and not just get told in passing.

The music in the episode was amazing. The beginning with Nothing Else Matters and Jones is a tux… I mean… Also, the ending with the fight sequence, building the suspense, only for the reveal to be that Jones had wanted them all to come so he could trap Liz, Dallas, and Max along with Isobel and Michael (for extra leverage) in his mind. I’m confused about why everyone was sitting but Michael was standing? Is he able to move or is he able to resist his father’s mind control? I’m really looking forward to next week and for Team Human to come to the rescue (maybe).

Favorite lines of the episode:

Sanders to Michael: “You are just a pair of sad puppy dog eyes and a cowboy hat”

Jones to Team Alien & Liz: “Well, everyone seems a little tense” (LOL I love Jones!)

Dallas (or Isobel) writing on the wall to Jones: “KNOCK, KNOCK”

#roswell new mexico #michael guerin #liz ortecho #max evans #isobel evans #Dallas #Roswell season 3 #Roswell nm #walt sanders #rosa ortecho #my thoughts

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mallowstep · 3 years ago

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(Reedwhisker anon)

The Erin's don't say and Reedwhisker is made an apprentice around the same time Ashfur and Ferncloud were, thereabouts I'd expect. (Both Brindleface and Mistyfoot were pregnant at the same time. I think Brindle's litter is a moon or 2 older though. Idk.) But he has been through ALOT. When I realized Mistyfoot didn't mention her kits in Canon I assumed those whose bones were mixed in with Bonehill, but then I noticed Reedwhisker in TNP and investigated him, found out he was Reedpaw, Misty's kit, and had the same thoughts you did. Mistyfoot, who wouldn't stop training Featherpaw even though she, too, was starved? Mistyfoot who watched her brother die but kept on going for Stormpaw and Featherpaw? Like...forget her own son in Canon? Like she would have told Grey and Fire to take Feather and Storm and she'd have gone back for her son. Her only surviving kit. She made him her fucking deputy, a mother's love is literally the MOST painful life a leader receives. In Misty AU, there is no Choice. It sucks, it's fucking painful, but Featherpaw is dying and they need to get out. But I can also see Reedpaw being the one of the few cats desensitized to EVERYTHING when Tigerstar loses all his nine lives? Man, I can even see him say "Oh...so this has happened now too. Can anything else get more fucked up?" Especially in Leopard AU. He's. Well in that one, he's seen and heard some shit. Now a leader's had all nine lives ripped from them with one blow and all clans have three days to get the fuck out or else? And Shadowclan just...flees back to their territory after trashing Riverclan's, their leader and medicine cat aren't talking (not that he can blame Leopardstar, he hates Mudfur too, by now.) He doesn't have a mentor anymore. (Not that Blackfoot really was one.) And he still hasn't seen his mother, or Feather, or Storm. But yay, his dad can actually treat him like he's his son again? So...that's something, I guess. Misty AU, after the Bloodclan battle, finding out his mom's pregnant with that monster's kits, like Twanypaw wasn't enough of a reminder. Tbh, I think he'd honestly have some beef with Twany. "You willingly gave up your mom, who loves you, and your brother, who also loves you and joined a fucking monster? Are you for real right now?" (In either AU, this warrior WOULD definitely have interrupted the Gathering once Blackstar announced Twanypelt's kits names. "You're letting her settle an innocent with that name, giving THAT Monster a fucking Legacy, and burdening her son with THE SAME SHIT SHE LEFT THUNDERCLAN FOR SHADOWCLAN FOR? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? BECAUSE THERE NEEDS TO BE A GOOD TIGER-WHATEVER THE FUCK? SHE'S A FUCKING SHITTY QUEEN, AND YOU'RE A SHITTY LEADER, BLACKSTAR.") Just...Reedpaw telling Stone or Misty everything he saw and heard that night Feathervand her escaped, Leopardstar's first death, how she struggled against Tigerstar and "he just held her head in the river and looked at her like she was a kit he was chastising." He shakes as he says this, choking on the last words, and Mudfur has to bring him poppy seeds to help him sleep that night. He gives me feels. In Canon he survives Tigerclan, Bloodclan, the destruction of the forest, the journey to the lake, the Great Battle, and now this whole no Starclan thing. If there was ever someone who needed therapy it's him...and I can't really see Reedwhisker being the type to think Misty didn't love him. He knows he was relatively safe compared to Feather and Storm, and...tbh I think he'd tell Misty she made the right choice. And I think that would probably break Mistyfoot's heart more in all three AUs then anything else. Feather's, too. (She's too kind, I swear.)

/nm but for the future if y'all don't mind trying to include some paragraph breaks for your local adhder that would be Appreciated. ik on the old ask box it's not possible but. if you're using the new one i really struggle with text walls. (it's ironic bc i tend to write them but.)

okay. gonna do sentence my sentence thing.

The Erin's don't say and Reedwhisker is made an apprentice around the same time Ashfur and Ferncloud were, thereabouts I'd expect.

(Both Brindleface and Mistyfoot were pregnant at the same time. I think Brindle's litter is a moon or 2 older though. Idk.)

But he has been through ALOT.

When I realized Mistyfoot didn't mention her kits in Canon I assumed those whose bones were mixed in with Bonehill, but then I noticed Reedwhisker in TNP and investigated him, found out he was Reedpaw, Misty's kit, and had the same thoughts you did.

Mistyfoot, who wouldn't stop training Featherpaw even though she, too, was starved?

Mistyfoot who watched her brother die but kept on going for Stormpaw and Featherpaw?

Like...forget her own son in Canon?

Like she would have told Grey and Fire to take Feather and Storm and she'd have gone back for her son. Her only surviving kit.

She made him her fucking deputy, a mother's love is literally the MOST painful life a leader receives.

In Misty AU, there is no Choice. It sucks, it's fucking painful, but Featherpaw is dying and they need to get out.

But I can also see Reedpaw being the one of the few cats desensitized to EVERYTHING when Tigerstar loses all his nine lives?

Man, I can even see him say "Oh...so this has happened now too. Can anything else get more fucked up?"

Especially in Leopard AU.

He's.

Well in that one, he's seen and heard some shit.

Now a leader's had all nine lives ripped from them with one blow and all clans have three days to get the fuck out or else?

And Shadowclan just...flees back to their territory after trashing Riverclan's, their leader and medicine cat aren't talking (not that he can blame Leopardstar, he hates Mudfur too, by now.)

He doesn't have a mentor anymore.

(Not that Blackfoot really was one.)

And he still hasn't seen his mother, or Feather, or Storm.

But yay, his dad can actually treat him like he's his son again?

So...that's something, I guess.

Misty AU, after the Bloodclan battle, finding out his mom's pregnant with that monster's kits, like Twanypaw wasn't enough of a reminder.

Tbh, I think he'd honestly have some beef with Twany.

"You willingly gave up your mom, who loves you, and your brother, who also loves you and joined a fucking monster? Are you for real right now?"

(In either AU, this warrior WOULD definitely have interrupted the Gathering once Blackstar announced Twanypelt's kits names.

"You're letting her settle an innocent with that name, giving THAT Monster a fucking Legacy, and burdening her son with THE SAME SHIT SHE LEFT THUNDERCLAN FOR SHADOWCLAN FOR? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL?

BECAUSE THERE NEEDS TO BE A GOOD TIGER-WHATEVER THE FUCK?

SHE'S A FUCKING SHITTY QUEEN, AND YOU'RE A SHITTY LEADER, BLACKSTAR.")

Just...Reedpaw telling Stone or Misty everything he saw and heard that night Feathervand her escaped, Leopardstar's first death, how she struggled against Tigerstar and "he just held her head in the river and looked at her like she was a kit he was chastising."

He shakes as he says this, choking on the last words, and Mudfur has to bring him poppy seeds to help him sleep that night. He gives me feels.

In Canon he survives Tigerclan, Bloodclan, the destruction of the forest, the journey to the lake, the Great Battle, and now this whole no Starclan thing.

If there was ever someone who needed therapy it's him...and I can't really see Reedwhisker being the type to think Misty didn't love him.

He knows he was relatively safe compared to Feather and Storm, and...tbh I think he'd tell Misty she made the right choice.

And I think that would probably break Mistyfoot's heart more in all three AUs then anything else.

Feather's, too. (She's too kind, I swear.)

okay cool let's start at the top. i love u anon just want u to know. everything u send me about this makes me feel so many things. my beloved. <3

re reedwhisker's age: unless/until i get a confirmation that he was apprenticed, etc., on page, or an erin statement about it, i'm maintaining my position. he doesn't show up in asir which you would 100% expect him to, and asir was published june 2020, which means reedwhisker as mistystar's surviving kit was known, which means that i really don't think he was born yet. like i really, really, really think that someone mistakenly went, "well, mistyfoot had a litter in tpb, so reedwhisker was a part of that litter," and we've all just been operating under that assumption.

(open to changing that opinion on evidence. i just need a source -- an erin statement, author chat, blogclan, a book, w/e, just something that will confirm when reedwhisker was actually born.)

because like -- ferncloud is nearly a year older than the bramble, storm, primrose, etc., so i don't know. there's no good timeline. reedwhisker appears as a fully grown warrior in twilight. so. heck if i know.

like there's no way mistyfoot would leave him behind? there's no way he wouldn't want to reunite with stormfur and feathertail and his mom? like he would be in asir, right? i'm not crazy? of all cats?

scream.

but moving on from my open anger re. the reedpaw problem;

i mean -- to be clear, mistyfoot and featherpaw are in riverclan from the beginning of tigerclan to the end in the misty au. no escapes are made. so even if reedpaw was alive, they're there. unlike the other aus, the misty au is Defined by yours truly because i'm actually writing it. so none of that angst, just the -- pain of watching the fall.

hnng.

and yeah he's just. so done and over everything.

and oh my god like -- he thinks he's Very alone in the leopard au. because he doesn't -- oh my god. and when they show up in riverclan again it's great but also -- he's been alone witnessing all of this Shit holy god i swear.

mistyfoot is...not Really visibly pregnant until after tigerclan, and he wouldn't be close enough to smell it, so yeah -- he'd still be surprised. or maybe. not surprised so much as. argh. you know like. he doesn't want to face it.

i like the idea of him having this very complex but entirely one-sided relationship to tawny. like, they went through some pretty similar stuff, but she chose it, and embraced it, and that's. you know. and she doesn't really think of him because she doesn't Know that like. mistyfoot is his mom.

and yes more people calling out tawnypelt's terrible naming decisions. i mean i love the angst it gives me for writing purposes and tigerheart is my favourite husband in warriors (he's so in love with his wife i love him for that), but yeah. what.

and oh my god like -- he would be the one to explain things. because -- i mean because he's scared and alone and is the only one who saw this and hasn't been able to say anything and he finally sees his family and Safe and. they're all watching him like "oh shit how the fuck did it get worse after we left" and oh-

all of these cats need therapy.

[ID: text that reads "5. Hawkwing and Frecklewish invent therapy." /end ID]

(a chapter title from "Heathertail's School for Attractive, Murderous She-Cats")

and yes. yes yes he would. i bet mistyfoot would apologize and he would be like -

no, why are you apologizing? i was safe, you weren't

and he wasn't really safe but seeing him just -- seeing how he just has this. i dunno how to say it. but when mistyfoot sees him and how's he's just had to grapple with this and oh.

she would be so upset.

#reed au #ask #anon #misty au #leopard au #mine

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vateacancameos · 4 years ago

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I Won't Let You Let Me Down So Easily

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandom: The Locked Tomb Trilogy Pairing: Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus Tags: Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Post-Gideon the Ninth, Post-Harrow the Ninth, Pre-Slash, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, they're working on the lovers part, POV Gideon Nav, Gideon watches Harrow Word Count: 1804 Part 2 of the Watching series (read Part 1 here)

For all of her short years of life, Gideon Nav has never wanted anything more than to ignore the Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House. To pretend she doesn’t exist. Unfortunately for Gideon—and the entirety of the Ninth—Harrowhark Nonagesimus has made that impossible from day one. She’s always there, one step away from Gideon, not looking at her, but making her own presence known, making sure she’s seen. That shrill, commanding tone is there from the moment she says her first word. Bones follow her every command, and she’s a tiny tyrant in black and wearing a painted mask. Where she is, skeletons follow, and Gideon is left behind, bloodied and beaten on the floor.

She never asked for this. She’s never wanted to be the bane of everyone’s existence. In fact, she tries her hardest to get away, time and time and time and time again. But Harrow demands an audience, and with most of the House being blinded from old age, Gideon is the one forced to watch. So she watches. Mostly, she watches her back, but over time, she watches just to see. What she’s looking for, she’s not sure.

She’s never wanted this, so why does a part of her now ask for it?

***

(read the rest under the cut)

***

Somehow Gideon isn’t surprised that even in the afterlife, she’s forced to watch Harrow. The Dark Mistress of Drearburh is a necromancer after all. If Gideon couldn’t get away from her during any of her eighty-seven escape attempts in life, it’s doubtful a little something like lacking a body would stop Harrow from forcing her to stay.

The really annoying part is that this time, Gideon actually does want to watch, but she’s got less a front-row seat and more like she’s using binoculars turned backwards so the thing she’s looking at is tiny and the lenses are smudged and she’s got cotton stuffed in her ears. She’s grateful for that when Ianthe tries her hand (haha, hand) at flirting with Harrow—she’s never felt such intense second-hand embarrassment in her life—but seeing what’s happening on The Mithraeum would be rather helpful right now.

Especially considering she isn’t allowed to do her job (protecting) thanks to one pointy-faced emo chick performing an at-home lobotomy with only a sociopathic princess to watch over her. Oh yeah, pre-surgery, Gideon could watch everything just fine. Why is it always that she’s forced to watch when she doesn’t want to, and she can’t watch when she does want to? She’s more than a little ticked by that.

No one ever asks her what she wants.

***

You know what’s really fucking annoying? Dying for your best frenemy so she can become the thing she’s wanted to become since she was four, then getting not only walled up in a tiny corner of Prissy McBitchFace’s brain, not only forced to see how awkward God is during tea time, not only stuck watching Harrow fumble her training and social interaction, but ALSO, unable to make her fucking necromancer work out or learn one single thing about a sword.

IT’S A FUCKING POMMEL, HARROWHARK. You can learn all the bones of the body by age two and a half, but you can’t learn the very few parts of a fucking sword? Sigh.

She’s being willfully ignorant on purpose. Gideon knows it.

***

You know what’s really fucking sad? Watching Harrowhark unable to function. Not just in her usual disconnected with reality and living in her special world where she’s the queen and everyone bows to her way. No, Harrow is … not Harrow. She’s barely human now (not that she was ever particularly human, more like a pointy, annoying bat), she’s paranoid (granted, someone is trying to kill her on the daily), she’s not sleeping, there are more wards in her tiny room than in all of the Ninth House, and she’s trying to … make soup?

It’s embarrassing to watch, and once again, Gideon is grateful her view is fuzzy and distant. Except that since she only gets a far-off snapshot of events a few times a day, she has lots of time to think and contemplate. And the more she thinks about it, the worse she feels. It’s sad, Harrow’s life is. And not in a oh she’s such a dork, how sad way, but more in a way that hurts Gideon’s heart, if Gideon had a heart still, which she guesses she doesn’t, not properly.

But still, she aches for Harrow. She wants to do her job, to be the big bad protector, but someone decided to be a selfish jerk and not let Gideon do the one thing she literally died to do.

Some people suck.

***

Swear to John (who’d’ve thought God’s name would be John), Gideon is really fucking tired of watching. At least when she was forced to watch Harrow in the past(life), she had a sword in her hands and a cocky smile on her face. Oh, what she’d give to go back to being able to watch and do, rather than watch and … watch, but not really watch, because time moves funny for her and it sounds like everyone is talking under water and faces are distorted (oh, no, wait, Ianthe’s face is always like that, nm).

She needs to be able to do again. She needs to force her dumb necromancer to get some sleep and then some exercise and then some brain surgery, in that order (what? squats are important). And then maybe learn the parts of the sword. SERIOUSLY, HARROW, HOW HARD IS POMMEL?

She wishes she had Harrow’s dumb army of constructs to fight. Even without a body, she has excess energy to get rid of and– HOLY SHIT. A CONSTRUCT JUST BURST OUT OF THE SKINNY/BUFF LYCTOR’S abdomen.

Okay, Harrow. You win this round.

***

Sleep does not help Harrowhark’s mood. She’s less of a zombie, sure, but she’s still a bit bananas. Watching her cut off Ianthe’s arm is pretty great, though (less great is watching her climb on top of Princess Bitch to do it). And the sex thing with God and two of the saints is … well, the jury is still out on that one. She actually got quite an eyeful of that scene. Perhaps all the wine allowed Gideon more freedom to move about in her necro’s brain.

None of that shocks her like watching Harrow save the lyctor whose been out to kill her for months. Gideon would definitely save him if she were in Harrow’s shoes (except she’d never be in those shoes because, one, they’re too small for her, and two, SHE KNOWS HOW TO USE A FUCKING SWORD). But even after everything that happened at Canaan House, and all that she’s seen of the disaster that is Harrow’s current life, watching Harrow save the man she’s absolutely bloody terrified of is … staggering.

Gideon’s not sure what to do with this information. Harrow with a normal human conscious is not something she thought she’d ever see. It’s not the Harrow she knew for seventeen years. It’s not the girl she fought tooth and nail with almost all of her life. It’s not the tiny mad genius who broke into the Tomb just to say she could. It’s not the tyrant who puppeteered her dead parents’ bodies for seven years for a power trip. It’s not the necromancer who longed for nothing more than to become a lyctor, even at every other person around hers expense.

It’s not the bone magician who performed possibly deadly surgery on her own brain rather than share soul space with the woman who died for her.

And if Harrow’s actions now say she’s not those things, then what else doesn’t Gideon know about her?

***

For once, Gideon is the watchee instead of the watcher.

Leave it to Sextus to be the one to see her.

***

Gideon takes it all back. She’d rather spend a myriad watching helplessly and foggily as her necromancer bumbles through life because she refuses to accept help in becoming a real lyctor. She’d love to go back to watching her make soup and avoid kisses with Tridentarius The Lesser and grimace at tea and cut her hair every three days and fuck up Gideon’s beloved two-hander by covering it in bone glue.

Because the alternative, of Harrow just up and leaving her body, which has just come to pass, is untenable. It’s wrong. Not just Gideon’s eyes and her WTF expression on Harrow’s face, but also the pure lack of Harrow in the room. For such a tiny little witch, she takes up a lot of space. She always has. It’s why Gideon had watched her their whole lives. Harrow would enter a room, and her presence would draw Gideon like a paperclip to a magnet. It was hateful, but it was comfortable, a known entity.

But Harrow being gone is so wrong.

Luckily, there are plenty of bug-human-acid-monster things that hold her attention for a time. That, and trying to figure out how to work Harrow’s limp noodle arms so that she can use a sword that weighs about the same as she currently does. As Gideon hacks and kicks and watches Harrow’s extremities regrow (trippy), she avoids thinking about why Harrow has left her. She fights Princess Peach and avoids thinking. She bickers (and maybe falls just a tiny bit in love) with Ianthe Tridentarius and avoids thinking. She listens to confessions twenty years in coming and avoids thinking. She finds her (very fucked up) family and avoids thinking. She (maybe?) befriends the lyctor who tried for nine months to kill her necromancer (except its actually not the lyctor anymore and she’s definitely going to have to learn more about that at some point when she’s no longer fighting for her [lyctor’s] life) and avoids thinking.

She’s going to have to think again at some point, but she’ll avoid it as long as she’s able.

***

When Gideon finally escapes and gets somewhere safe, she has time to watch again, and she hates it. She watches Harrow’s face in the mirror. She wills her necromancer to come back. She begs Harrow to come back. She paints the best skull she’s ever painted on Harrow’s face. She puts on the rust-black robes. She stares at the mirror and tries to find Harrow in the frown lines and pointy chin. But she’s not there, and it looks wrong. Gideon screams and punches the mirror. The broken flesh repairs instantly. She hates that. She needs the pain the last.

She has always associated pain with Harrow. The physical pain of their fights. The emotional pain of being unloved. If the pain is no longer there, does that mean Harrow is gone for good?

Gideon Nav’s eyes sting, and she watches the paint melt off Harrow’s face.

#locked tomb trilogy #fanfic #meagan writes #griddlehark #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth

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echo-bleu · 4 years ago

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WIP Headcount (2)

The WIPs from other fandoms that are in diverse stages of being abandoned. This is my WIP graveyard, which I’m going to dig into to see if any of the dead rises again.

Part one about my Shadowhunters WIPs here.

I’ll do it in inverse chronological order of fandom and put it under a cut because it might get rambly. Fandoms: Roswell New Mexico,The Gifted, Leverage/The Librarians.

Roswell NM

I left the fandom brutally and left too many WIPs unfinished. Almost six months later, I think it’s time to admit that unless season 3 pulls me back in (and it’s unlikely) I won’t be coming back to them. Which is a shame, because while I honestly can’t say I like the show at all anymore, I liked my WIPs.

Power Through: I don’t know. There’s potential, I had a pretty good plot in mind, I still love the Gifted (unlike RNM) so I at least really like the world this is in, but also... It’s been too long. Going on the maybe list.

still, there were mornings: I liked the idea of it, as a fix-it for s2 and also as a soulmate concept, but it’s not going to get any further.

our hands clasped so tight: Damn, I liked this one. If there is one fic I want to finish, it’s probably our hands. It’s going at the top of the maybe list.

down to breathing: A 3+1 still missing 2 parts... but then the two existing parts stand alone fine. I only had a bit of the last part written and it wasn’t all that good.

Complicated Truths: I still like the idea of it, and it’s maybe the one AU that is the furthest from canon. So. I might try to start again. Or I might reuse the idea for something else.

setting fire to our insides (for fun) sequel: I wish I could say I’d write this, because I hate leaving it like this and so many people have asked me about the sequel, but I know it will never see the light of day. So I’m sorry about that.

Untitled Leverage AU: It was a fic I plotted out and started for the Big Bang before realizing that it would have to be far longer than I could manage. I wrote about 6k but it didn’t hold my interest. The plot is really nice though, so I want to say it’s up for adoption? If someone really wants to write a Leverage AU but doesn’t have any good ideas, I’ll give you mine ;)

The Gifted

The fandom is sadly long gone, and I left 3 WIPs unfinished.

All We Stand To Lose: I think we can consider this one abandoned. I know I won’t go back to it. I need to be in a specific mood to write that kind of angst and I don’t think it will ever come back for this fandom.

If You're Still Breathing: abandoned too. If I ever do the rewatch I’ve been saying I’ll do for about a year and a half, maybe I’ll find the drive to finish it, but honestly, probably not.

The Underground is still my longest and favorite fic overall. I’m really sad that I’ll never write the last part that I plotted out, but it’s also more of a slice-of-life fic so it stands quite well as it is. I’m considering writing an epilogue to tie up loose end and feel like I’ve properly finished it, because leaving it like this has been bugging me.

Leverage/The Librarians

I haven’t actually written anything for this fandom in ages, but I’ve also not given up on it. It seems to be one that I can actually come back to fairly easily, as I have several times before.

Every Chance We Get series (blind & autistic Eliot, autistic Parker, canon adjacent AU and eventual Librarians crossover). Rereading this, the backstory is a lot more dramatic and angsty than I’d write now, especially for a story leading to a disability. I don’t want to just scrap it all but I’m also not sure what to do with it tbh. There are parts I really like, so I want to finish and post them eventually, and I don’t want to end up rewriting everything cause that would be way too much work. I’ll try to find some kind of middle ground.

Every Chance We Get has one more chapter to go. It’s based on the Two-Horse job and, I think, mostly written, but I got stuck because I don’t actually know anything about horses. That was a year and a half ago, but hey, I can do this.

All that remains is set during the two David jobs, and it has 4 chapters and another 5k of unfinished snippets. I probably need to scale it down and just finish it instead of trying to give it a whole plot (I’m always a little too ambitious with WIPs).

Everything we fought for is not super advanced and also needs to be rewritten, probably. But it was a fairly important part of this series where the crew find out about Eliot’s health issues so I’ll need to write it properly.

The Limits of Endurance probably needs to be split in two. There’s the San Lorenzo Job, which I might have to scrap or rewrite because too much plot, and the Carnival Job, which could work as an episode coda much better. That one is probably close to done? I’m not sure.

I have about 2k (each) for pieces set during the Radio Job and the Rundown Job. I need to do something with them. I think I really need to scale it all down and accept that they’re all snippets rather than full fics so I can finally post them.

I planned a whole thing post Leverage s5 with the OT3, but unless the new show pulls me right in, it’s unlikely to see the light of the day. I might write a short thing instead about polyamorous queerplatonic relationship negotiations.

Then the Librarians crossover. I have quite a bit and none of it really makes sense as a standalone, which is annoying. The first part, Those Left Behind, is all posted. I think Daring to Dream could be posted as is, it’s angsty and the start of an Eliot/Cassandra friendship and eventual relationship (where Eliot is also in a queerplatonic relationship with Parker and Hardison). I think it needs a different title though. I might post it today actually, so that it’s done.

What was meant to be the second part of Daring to Dream should be written, I think, but I don’t have enough yet to want to go back to it and I’d need to rewatch the Librarians.

No Going Back is about Eliot and Jake and their father. It’s maybe 2/3 written and I’d really like to finish this one.

The Best of a Bad Situation is set after the Ice Giants episode of the Librarians and it’s h/c and I really love it, but there’s still quite a bit of it to write. And I also need to scale it down.

The Shape of Things to Come is a fic I like, it’s angsty in an intimate way and it’s 26k, but even if I scale it down too, there’s still a lot to write. And it doesn’t really make sense without all the fics that come before, so I can’t really just start posting it. I’ll get there, eventually.

I have a bunch of shorter bits and pieces started in this AU, but looking at it, only one of them really holds my interest, Lonely Roads. It’s a 5+1 of phone calls between Eliot and Jake. Only parts 1 & 2 are written, so there’s quite a bit of work left to do.

I really need to plunge back into all this, but I’ve got too many other WIPs too 😭

#echo's writing thoughts #queued

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gstdaisuki · 5 years ago

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A Talk with Nathan McCree

(this is a followup to my video on Nathan’s work, which you should watch(!), and a mirror of the Patreon post)

Nathan McCree is well-known for his work on Tomb Raider. If you go digging, you’ll find he’s been interviewed about the series several times. However, he’s done quite a lot more. I’d like to fill in some of the gaps. Below are snippets from my chat with Nathan about music on the Megadrive, what it’s like to work within limitations, and music in the future.

---

GST: Skeleton Krew's music is an oddity on the Megadrive. there's nothing else quite like it. I saw you mention that the soundscape was inspired by the graphics, which makes sense --they compliment each other beautifully. I want to ask what other influences you had in mind, if any. How much of the soundtrack was just created by just pushing strange sounds out of your tools?

NM: It's very difficult to say exactly where inspiration comes from. Mostly I am inspired by the kit I am using and the sounds they make, so in this case it was the sounds I was creating on the Yamaha chip inside the Megadrive. But musically at the time I was listening to a lot of psychedelic electronic bands like Ozric Tentacles, The Orb and lots of dance/trance/house music of the era.

GST: Now that you mention Ozric Tentacles, the arp sequences in Clockdrops have a similar feel to some of the tracks in Skeleton Krew. It's kind of striking, though I think the direction you went in is actually better realized because you seem to work so well within the FM on the Megadrive. (Hopefully the musical comparison isn't too offensive!)

NM: No I'm not offended by the comparison at all. I did learn a lot about synth patterns and textures from Ozric Tentacles, but again, without copying, I took what I learned and went in my own direction with it. It's important to always have a picture or an emotion of the project you are working on as this helps construct the music in a way which fits the mood of the product and as a result should gel the visuals and the animations together. The music in effect, acts as a kind of glue for the project which holds it all together.

GST: On the opposite end of the oddity spectrum, Astérix and the Power of the Gods for the Megadrive features nothing but classical songs. I'm curious if this was a decision from the game designers, or an exercise for you, or something else.

NM: It was a decision made by the game designer and programmer, Stefan Walker. Stef asked me if it were possible to convert 15 or so of the most famous classical pieces in history that were out of copyright protection (older than 90 years). Of course I said yes, and we set about listening and searching for pieces which fit that criteria and which would be suitable for the game. The conversion process from a full-orchestra down to a 6 note-polyphonic FM synthesizer was a challenge but a very enjoyable one, and the result earned the accolade "Best Megadrive Music Ever". I was rather chuffed with that.

GST: The soundtrack for BLAM! Machine Head is listed as released in 1995, which is before the game came out. Was this a promotional thing?

NM: Yes it was a promotional release of 300 vinyls. We sent a load to UK Clubs to try and get some club play time to promote the game. We succeeded a little but game soundtracks weren't really the thing back then so it gained little traction.

GST: That’s pretty amazing! That was late 1995, right on the precipice of game music leaking into the mainstream. (For reference, "Sega Tunes" came out in August 1996, "Club Saturn" in 1996, and Tommy Tallarico released his arrangement albums in mid-94 and mid-96) Did you get any feedback / reviews from the clubs?

NM: Yes we did. A few were kind enough to give us some feedback. One club I remember said about Nano-Seed, "a floor-filler!". That was good.

GST: Relatedly, what is your experience with club music? Some of the tracks on BLAM! sound perfect for the era. I wouldn't expect them to be written by someone who was previously unfamiliar with club music. Do you remember any particular songs or artists that you drew inspiration from?

NM: I was clubbing a lot in the 90s. I was going to Hot To Trot in Mansfield once a month, Renaissance in Derby in between and a few other local dance venues in Derby. In the end I was clubbing every weekend. Apart from the psychedelic bands I mentioned earlier I can't really pin-point a particular dance music artist. I was listening to so much and none of it was being repeated. I was constantly listening to new tracks. It was a very inspirational time musically and on top of all this I was writing my own dance music in my spare time outside of working at Core Design. So yeah, there was a whole lot of influence that went into the BLAM! Machinehead soundtrack. Having said that, with my writing, I always try to write something which I haven't heard before so I hope there is something unique and new about the music in BLAM! Machinehead.

GST: About Swagman: This seems like the most involved orchestral soundtrack that you had created since Soulstar. I'd like to compare the two a bit. How closely were you working with the rest of the team at this time? Swagman isn't a rail shooter so you can't match the soundtrack with the action in the levels... How much better was your gear at this point? I'd say "it doesn't sound like you struggled with your gear this time" but you actually disguised that struggle quite well in Soulstar, haha.

NM: As you say, Swagman wasn't a rail-shooter, so scripting the music to fit the game wasn't possible. Instead I used the location of each level as my main source of inspiration, and created atmospheres to fit those - The Nursery, In the Garden, Down the Well, The Crypt for example. I had some new kit by the time I started writing Swagman. Mainly the addition of the Roland JV1080 which I had expanded with the Orchestral Boards 1 & 2 and the World Expansion Board. I also had a Roland JV90 which is the keyboard version of the JV1080. That too was expanded. So I had plenty of voice-polyphony at that point and lots of very useful orchestral patches to play with. So you're right, it was less of a struggle with Swagman, but both projects were still very enjoyable to create. With Soulstar, I ended up using quite a few saw-tooth, synth-lead patches to create the brass ensembles. They actually sounded pretty good once they were buried in amongst the rest of the orchestral sounds!

GST: Battle Engine Aquila marks a soundtrack where you were freelance AND in the distant future of 2003. How much of your gear did you leave behind when you left Core Design to go freelance? And how much of it was digital instruments on your computer at this point? I ask the latter because, to my ears, this game sounds about as good as you can get without hiring a real orchestra.

NM: So obviously leaving Core Design meant saying goodbye to all the kit I had built up over the 6 years that I worked there, but of course I needed something to work with as a freelancer. So I spent a large chunk of my Tomb Raider money on a new studio for myself. Apart from the obvious stuff like a mixing desk, studio monitors and a PC, the decision needed to be made as to what instruments/synths I should buy. I had been really impressed with the Roland JV1080 so I bought one of those (and expanded it as before) and the synth geek in me also decided to by one of Roland's latest creations, the JP8000 - a fully record-able and controllable raw synth machine! With this machine it was possible to record the movement of every pot and fader straight to Cubase. A very useful tool for dance music, and to this day I still haven't used it to it's full potential. I also bought an Akai S9000 sampler which I used mainly for drums, so once again my orchestral setup was synth-based, rather than sample-based. So I started out freelance with this kit in 1998. When I got the opportunity to work on Battle Engine Aquila I decided I needed a bigger orchestra so I bought another Roland JV1080 (expanded again) and an E-MU Virtuoso 2000 orchestral synth which I quickly binned when the main controller knob became faulty and I wasn't impressed with the architecture of the signal path. I continued to use the Akai S9000 sampler for a few more years for electronic music but as soon as computers became fast enough for sample based editing inside the sequencing software, it too became a dust collector on my studio shelf along with other outboard gear which were replaced by VST instruments and Plugins. To this day I still use the 2 Roland JV1080s and my Roland JP8000, and that's about it. I'm not one of these musicians who needs to hide behind a million synths or new pieces of kit every month to convince people I can write music. I'm one of these guys who can make music from anything. A fork, knife, bottle, my kid's mini toy guitar, or glockenspiel. If it makes a note, I can use it, which I frequently have in my compositions over the years. I remember when I was working on a prehistoric game called BC, I used a metal electric fire which I scraped with a nail and hit some bricks with drum sticks to create the percussion sounds for the music. I don't need to buy new kit to be creative.

GST: I'm curious about what the limits are when it comes to crafting something unique. If you go too "far out," you'll have a unique song, but it might not resemble "music". Where's the balance between copying the songs you heard in the club and becoming autechre? Same question for non-electronic music: It's possible to get unique compositions if you go to the edge of music theory, but that can also become inaccessible. (You did seem to use odd time for the end theme of Waterlollies (11/8 by my count) though, which is always a fun technique.)

NM: Finding something new isn't about moving further and further away from music, it's about persevering with textures, ensembles, sounds, patterns and harmony until you find or create something which you haven't heard before. You have to wade through a load of stuff you have already heard until you find new waters. Sometimes that can take hours, sometimes days. You have to keep going. Adding stuff, deleting stuff. Thinking outside the box. Sometimes forgetting what you have been taught. Turning things upside down, back to front. It also helps to enter altered states of the mind when creating. This can be done in a variety of ways. Working late into the night until you are close to falling asleep for example, puts your brain into an almost dream state which helps create new things which you wouldn't normally think of during the day. This is why many creatives, and not just musicians, do their best work in the early hours of the morning. Other things can help too, drinking alcohol, but this has a negative impact on your hearing, and then of course there's marijuana which I think most musicians that have ever lived swear by! Personally for me, it's about perseverance, working at the detail and striving for perfection. Music doesn't have to be complicated or removed from tonality and harmony to be different. There are billions of combinations, it's just about looking for the new ones.

GST: One more question about the early days: Does any of the original software or source code for your Megadrive music still exist?

NM: There's a possibility that I have a copy of the programme somewhere on my hard drives but it needs a special custom built PCI card installed in your PC to work and that, I do not have anymore. You see in those days, getting access to certain elements of the games console just wasn't possible like it is today. Now you install some dev tools plugin and you have direct access to every feature of the console. Back in the early 90s we had to dismantle the machine with a screwdriver, rip out the circuit boards, making notes of the chip serial numbers and manufacturers, then calling the company and asking them for a full specification of the pin numbers and what each one did. After that, we would order the chips we wanted (or rip them out of the games console itself) and design our own circuit board which included the chips we wanted and have it all re-mounted onto a custom built PCI card which we would then install into a PC. After that, it was all about programming. We followed a similar process for the Megadrive sound chip. It was a Yamaha YM2612. So we ordered a couple of these directly from Yamaha and once we had the full spec it was pretty simple to work out how to wire it up on a circuit board. All we needed to do was to add left and right phono sockets to the output pins on the chip and send the 5v power supply to it and there you go, Megadrive synth on a PC! Of course there are the other pins (24 in total) which needed connecting up to the data bus, memory access pins, read/write request lines, interrupt request line, ground pins etc. but once we'd figured all this out it was simple enough to create a circuit diagram for the board. Once we had that we sent off the design and the 2 x Yamaha chips to a circuit board manufacturing plant in the UK. A week later our 2 x Megadrive synth PCI boards arrived. We plugged one into my PC and the other into Sean (programmer)'s PC, and we got to work coding up the sequencer. Sean took care of the machine-code level programming of the synth engine and I programmed the high-level language user interface. We had the whole sequencer up and running in 4 months. So I may have the source code and sequencer files but I don't have the hardware on which it runs. Of course I could have another circuit board made but it would take some time to get all that together again.

GST: What happened to Console Sounds / Industrial Ambiance? I can’t find it anywhere.

NM: I took the album off-line. It was available as a library album for a while but the critiques viewed it as if it was an album release and began slating it for sounding like off-the-shelf music - which is exactly what it was. It was never an album release. It was just a bunch of tunes that had not been used for anything, and I was just trying to earn some money. But when the critiques got hold of it and slated it, I took it down.

GST: That's understandable, but unfortunate. Have you considered bringing the album (or any of the songs) back on a service like Bandcamp or Soundcloud?

NM: Yes I do have ideas and avenues for a lot of my music. The first thing I want to do is to officially release all my game soundtracks. After that I'll see what's left and if there's any mileage releasing any of it.

GST: Actually, how much of your music can you release on Bandcamp? I know that the rights can get tied up...

NM: Well after the Kickstarter campaign, I am now officially a record company and publisher so I can release any of my music whenever I like. I don't need a platform like Bandcamp or Soundcloud (where often the composer/performer ends up surrendering their rights for little compensation). I don't need to do that now. I can release my music myself and retain 100% of the rights, which is a better way to go. It's been a hell of a lot of work to get to the company to this point, but the infrastructure is there now, so I'm going to continue with that.

GST: Oh, that's exciting! Do you have any idea when we can expect to see some old soundtracks released? I'm also very interested in the dance music you wrote outside of Core Design. That would be a fun throwback thing.

NM: I want to start rolling my old game soundtracks out over the next few years. I have earmarked about 10 albums which I think are worthy of release. They all require some work in terms of remastering and re-recording. Some would benefit from a live orchestral recording like Soulstar, Heimdall II, Swagman and Battle Engine Aquila to name a few, but those kinds of production are very expensive so we'll have to see how funding goes for that kind of thing. In the meantime though, I will be releasing new synthetic recordings of these soundtracks - all made using the original equipment which I wrote them on, so they will sound the same, only better! Yeah there's probably an album or two of dance type tracks kicking around which could be released. Other songs too which are still unfinished so i'll need to do a bit of work to finish those up into some releasable form. So plenty of work to keep me busy for the next 5 or so years I'd say.

GST: Where can we find news about these remastered albums? Where's a good place to find you? Is there anything else you'd like to plug?

NM: The best places to keep informed as to what I'm doing career wise is on my official FB page: https://www.facebook.com/nathanmccreeofficial/ and also my Twitter page: https://twitter.com/nrpmccree As far as plugs go, please just support my concerts. They cost a huge amount of money and time to organize and I can only keep doing them if we get a good attendance. It's really important, not just for The Tomb Raider Suite, but for games music in general, and if you do like the Tomb Raider Suite album which is free to play on Spotify, please consider buying a copy. This is how us musicians make a living and it really does help us to keep going and writing more stuff which hopefully you will enjoy. A big shout out to all the fans who have supported me so far and who continue to do so - you guys rock!

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angsty-nerd · 5 years ago

Text

Fictober #4

Whew!! Better late than never, right? It doesn’t help when on these busy family days I get the ideas that take more time to work through. Thankfully, family goes home tomorrow.

#4. I know you didn’t ask for this.

Roswell, NM Fanfiction

Max/Liz Echo, Angst... post S-1.

The world was like an avalanche of light, and colors, and noise. Isobel was clinging to him, crying his name over and over again. Cam stood a few feet away, and he thought he heard her call out, “Glad to have you back among the living, Evans.” Michael was nearby, he was saying something to somebody, but it was drowned out in the noise. Nearby Valenti kept repeating Isobel’s name over and over, “Isobel…. Isobel! I need to check him… Isobel! Let me make sure he’s ok!” Max was surrounded by the people he loves, but they seemed to all be talking at once, and the flood of noise was like a knife piercing his brain.

But where was Liz?

Valenti somehow convinced Michael to extract Isobel from him, and the noise at least lessened.

“How’re you feeling, Max?” He asked.

“It’s just...there’s so much of everything. It hurts.” Max tried to explain. His voice sounded gravely and weak. He squinted and saw Valenti looking concerned at him, and then he disappeared for a moment.

The noise faded. Max could hear footsteps, sensed his siblings walking away.

“Okay, everyone is leaving. Let’s just focus on you right now. Can I take your vitals?” Max nodded.

Silently, Kyle went through the motions of checking his temperature, his blood pressure, heart rate.

"Okay Evans, generally speaking, everything seems normal, but this situation is unprecedented. I want you to take it easy for a few days, okay? If you feel off at all, call me right away. And keep someone with you at all times, okay? Doctor's orders."

"Will do." Max agreed. "But, Kyle, what happened to me? Why was I in the pod?" Max asked.

"You don't remember." Kyle looked surprised. "What do you remember?"

Max reached back in his memory, trying to recall. "It's fuzzy." Max admitted. "I think… I remember having Noah at home. Michael and I fought and Noah escaped. Isobel and I were trying to find him, but she was possessed…so he brought me to him alone and on his terms…after that there's a lot of pain and not much else is clear. Did I fail? I wasn't strong enough to beat him?"

A soft sound caught his attention. It sounded like a mix between a sniffle and a whimper, like someone trying not to cry. He turned, and that's when he finally saw her.

Liz was sitting on a rock in the corner of the cave, her legs tucked under her, hugging herself, while tears slipped down her cheeks. She had been so quiet until now that Max hadn't even known that she was there.

"Liz…"

Her only answer was the same sound again, and she shook violently as she began to cry harder.

"I'll leave you two alone." Kyle offered, as he closed his bag and slowly headed towards the entrance of the cave. Max rushed over to Liz and sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her. She gripped the front of his t-shirt tightly, clinging to him as she wept into his shoulder.

"Shh… it's okay. I'm here. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere."

"But...you did," she cried. "You did leave me, Max."

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he stroked her hair. "I'm so sorry."

"You really can't remember anything?" Liz asked him once she had calmed herself enough to speak coherently.

He again paused to search, but still nothing clearer came to the surface. "I don't know… there's feelings, impressions, but clear and concrete memories? Not really."

"Can you describe them? The impressions?"

"Um… mostly there's a lot of physical pain, and feeling weak and useless. And then a rush of, I don't know… something? And then it's like I can't grasp onto anything because it's all in hyperdrive, everything blurring together like a rush."

Liz nodded. "Okay. I think between the three of us, Michael, Isobel, and I we've mostly put all the pieces together. Do you want me to explain?" Max gestured for her to continue.

"The pain you remember is from Noah. He basically tortured you. We don't know all of the details because Isobel was possessed, and then blacked out. All we know is that when Michael found you all here in the pod cave, Noah was using his powers to give you a heart attack. Thankfully Michael showed up when he did and was able to throw Noah away from you with his powers. He said that you looked real rough...and that you were worked up about Noah being too strong for you.

"After that we have another gap. Michael distracted Noah, and you ran from the cave. Noah knocked Michael out pretty quickly. When he and Isobel both came to, they rushed out of the cave and found you and Noah facing off, and you had him completely overpowered. Michael said… he said it was like electricity or lightning or something was shooting from your hands and Noah was being electrocuted. And you killed him."

"Noah's dead?" Max asked, hopefully. He couldn't quite believe that it was true, that the nightmare was over.

"He's gone." Liz confirmed. "And he's not coming back."

"Thank God." Max breathed, allowing the relief to wash over him.

"You're not God." Liz insisted sharply. "You have a breaking point, and you found it this time. No more gambling with your life, do you hear me!?!"

"I didn't mean it like that." He replied sheepishly, startled by how angrily Liz reacted. "I'm sorry."

Liz took a deep breath and then continued to explain.

"So you killed Noah apparently, and from what Michael and Isobel said it was like you were high on drugs or something. Isobel said that you couldn't stand still, you were pacing and talking at a manic pace. You healed Michael's hand even though he begged you not to. Something was just not right with you.

"You walked home from the cave, which probably helped you release at least a bit of that energy, because when I showed up at dawn I couldn't tell that there was anything wrong with you. You just seemed so happy. We were both so happy. And I was so relieved, because I was so afraid that I might lose you…"

Liz looked down and stared for a long time at their joined hands, resting lightly upon her knee. He squeezed her hand lightly, trying to remind her that everything was okay. She pulled his hand up to her chest, holding it lightly to the spot where he had healed her, the spot where his mark had formed on her skin.

"I asked you to mark me again. So that you could feel my feelings for you. You did, and it was amazing. It was like a fucking high for both of us, I think. We were just so happy. I've never seen you so happy."

"Never?" Max was surprised to hear the wistful tone. "Not even that day in the desert back in high school? Or when we first kissed after Texas?"

"No comparison," Liz insisted. "But...um...there were plenty of other reasons for that." She admitted with a flush. "We did a lot more than just kiss that morning."

He was dumbfounded, and just stared at her, mouth open and speechless.

"Everything felt close to perfect, except for two things. I was feeling guilty about my feelings for you. I wanted you to know how I felt, but I wanted to visit Rosa and explain it to her first. And there was Isobel and all of her trauma over Noah. She called while I was getting ready to leave, wanting to talk to you. You were begging me to stay, begging to come with me...all you wanted was for us to be together. But I told you to go support your sister. A part of me wishes that I had been a little more selfish. Maybe then none of this would have happened."

"Isobel called because she and Michael were searching near the crash site for Noah's pod cave. They found it. And Noah had stashed my sister's body in his pod, where he had been keeping her as a trophy in stasis for a decade."

"Isobel said…" Liz paused, swallowed, and looked back up at him, and Max could see the guilt evident in her eyes. "She said that you were still all manic from what she saw. We've actually had a lot of intense discussions about it. I don't really understand why I didn't see it. I guess I just loved seeing you so happy. She said that you wanted to try to heal her again, but Michael thought he talked you out of it. He didn't."

Max nodded slowly, his eyes falling to study his hands as he absorbed what Liz was telling him. "So I tried to resurrect Rosa and it nearly killed me."

"NO." Liz declared firmly. "That's not what happened, Max. You did resurrect Rosa. And it did kill you. You've been dead for six months."

He stared at Liz, completely astonished at her impossible statement. But Liz was a woman of science. She didn't believe in miracles. And she was looking at him so seriously and firmly that he knew that there was no point in questioning what she was saying.

He dropped her hand, lifting his hands and staring at them, turning them over and staring at them wondering how it was possible.

He locked eyes with her again and suddenly he could see the depth of pain and confusion in her eyes. "Six months?" He verified. Liz nodded silently. "I left you. Even though I promised I would always follow you." She confirmed it. "I'm so sorry, Liz. The last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt you."

"I know that." Liz replied softly.

"How's Rosa?" He asked.

"She's good." Liz said. "I mean, of course it was confusing at first. Ten years had passed! But she could see with her own eyes that everything was different. It took a little time for her to adjust, but she's doing well now. I can take you to see her later."

"I'd like that."

Liz suddenly rolled away from him, pushing herself to her feet and turning to stand in front of him.

"How are you feeling now, Max? Any better?"

"A little," Max admitted, as he evaluated himself. "Still have a headache, but it's not nearly so overwhelming. My brain still feels fuzzy. I can tell I'm weak and I feel so tired. But I guess I'm lucky to be here, right?"

Liz nodded. "Okay. We should go then. Everyone's waiting for us."

Max pushed himself to his feet. It felt like a tremendous effort. He took a moment to steady himself, and then took a step towards her, his arms open. "Liz, can I…?" He trailed off, but he didn't need to say anything more. A second later Liz was in his arms, head pressed against his chest. He tucked his chin against her head, pulling her as close as possible. He loved how perfectly she fit in his arms. But then he felt her tremble and his heart sank because he knew she was crying again.

“Liz, I'm so sorry." He murmured softly to her. "I know you didn’t ask for this. And I know how much I've hurt you. But aren't we in a better situation overall now? You have Rosa back, you have me back...isn't that a good thing?”

Immediately Max knew he said something wrong. She stiffened in his embrace and pulled away, looking up at him, her eyes red from too many tears and a look of fear on her face.

"Max, there are two things that I need to say and you need to listen to me and hear me, do you understand?" Max nodded. "Don't you fucking dare gamble with your life again like that. You matter, Max Evans. You matter to a lot of people. I don't ever want you to throw your life away, on a whim, for me. Never again."

Max swallowed and nodded. "I won't. I promise "

"Good. You'd better keep that promise." Liz informed him. "Because I'm sure as hell not bringing you back from the dead a second time." Max's eyes narrowed at her words, wondering how she managed that, but before he could ask, she moved on.

"Secondly, and this is really, really important, Max. I've been waiting six months to say this and I don't want to wait another minute. I need you to know that I am completely and utterly in love with you, Max Evans. I fell in love with you even though I tried to fight it, even through everything that happened since I moved home, even though my own feelings terrified me. I love you, and I don't think I could ever run away and leave you behind. I'm staying, Max. I'm staying because I love you."

"Liz…" he gaped at her, unable to respond further because he was silenced by the lump of emotion forming in his throat.

She laughed nervously. "Did I do okay? I had six months to think about what I wanted to say, but I don't have a way with words the way you do."

Max just took a step towards her, sliding his hands down to her waist as he pulled her in for a kiss. He felt Liz smile against his lips as he drank her in. He kissed her with a fire and desperation that he couldn't remember ever feeling before. She clung to him, her fingers clawing into his shirt like she was afraid that he would disappear if she didn't hold on tightly to him. Max wondered how long it would be before she felt like his presence was reliable again. It would take some time, but he planned to work hard to prove to her that he wasn't going anywhere.

When they finally stepped apart, Max was out of breath -- likely a remnant from his weakened state. Liz watched him, worried, but he just smiled gently at her.

"Everything's going to be okay, Liz. I love you too. And I'm not going anywhere either."

#max&liz #rnm echo #rnm echo fanfic #angst #liz deserves everything #max is kinda an idiot #feeling the feels #fictober19

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missmagicandlight · 5 years ago

Note

States and Food Culture. based off that one post about it

look, i know this isn’t what you meant but somehow it turned into states and weird dietary habits and also me complaining about aph America being a pig narrative

so in my headcanon Al eats a lot because (1) he has a very high metabolism and (2) he’s a pretty active person. he freaks out when he weighs himself and it’s gone up but it’s usually because of the muscle weight he’s gained while trying to lose weight. America eats decently, it isn’t all McDonalds. number one way to piss off all the states is to call Al fat because he gets really weird about it

Charlie (OR) is a vegetarian and while they’ve never asked Aidan to become a vegetarian or anything, Aidan’s halfway become one too out of respect because he won’t eat meat around her

Aidan (WA) is lactose intolerant and Charlie always has almond milk in the fridge for him

Cal (CA) grew up in a Hispanic household and can’t stand bad Mexican food because of it. will never step foot in a taco bell ever. will pretty much try anything once, but if she doesn’t like it have fun convincing her to do it ever again. likes most nuts and always seems to have a thing of pecans or pistacios etc in her bag. empanadas are one of her comfort foods.

Jules (CO) can eat anything. he never gets sick off food and no one knows how. the only thing he refuses to touch is vegemite and literally none of the states like that stuff so

four corners all have very high spice tolerances. they find spicy peppers and dare each other to eat them

Nate (NV) is a fancy smancy chef and he’s read a bunch of these molecular gastronomy books and all that but he likes stuff like paella and sushi and believes food shouldn’t cost as much as a kitchen appliance. really likes Thai food, too, because of the spicier edge.

Marisol (AZ) doesn’t like plain chocolate, so Nate makes her this spicy chocolate and sends her batches. it’s her comfort food.

Emily (UT) has a high sugar tolerance. it doesn’t make her hyper and she could probably live off pure sugar. jello is her favorite food, though, so take what you will from that.

Eli (NM) has a weakness for biscochito cookies. Nate makes them for him sometimes. ruined his tastebuds for a solid week because he ate a Carolina Reaper pepper

Theo is lactose intolerant and is horrible about it. says that watermelons are vegetables. habitual snacker- he eats things throughout the day and lowkey ruins his appetite. eats kind of fast and always has since he was a kid bc he thought it would get taken away

Austin is latino and like Cal, can’t stand bad Mexican food. likes a lot of spice. very Tex-Mex. like, yeah it’s Mexican food but it’s got a southern vibe to it. Carmen would insist that it isn’t authentic mexican food.

look, I’m not saying Austin literally corrupted all his younger siblings into having very high spice tolerances, but that’s basically what I’m insinuating because Addison likes things spicy

Addy (KS) likes barbeque anything pretty much. hates having to take iron supplement pills so she tries to eat stuff rich in iron.

Caleb (MO) eats what is probably way too much ice cream. doesn’t have a favorite flavor and usually picks the one he hasn’t had before. there is always at least one quart of ice cream in the freezer

also, this is so long i’m gonna make another post

#food culture #aph states #too many to tag #headcannons #personality headcanons #tradrishanally #asks

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female-overlord-3 · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 11,835 times in 2021

45 posts created (0%)

11790 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 262.0 posts.

I added 233 tags in 2021

#roswell nm - 47 posts

#malex - 43 posts

#michael guerin - 28 posts

#alex manes - 27 posts

#anti maria deluca - 22 posts

#bring them home - 15 posts

#self reblog - 15 posts

#rnm spoilers - 12 posts

#season 3 spoilers - 12 posts

#anon ask - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#remember when isobel had a possible love interest who had not slept with anyone in her family or immediate friend circle?

My Top Posts in 2021

I finished Love, Victor Season 2 AND AFTER TOO MUCH TIME COMPARING SCENES OF FUCKING FRONT DOORS I'VE SOLVED IT. UNTIL WE'VE GOT A SEASON 3 CONFIRMATION I'M CALLING IT: that's Benji's front door.

Yes I will elaborate but only if you message or @ me please.

27 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 01:33:55 GMT

Not Possible

My anti-maria fic where we get Alex being there when Maria declares it's Michael in that coffin which doesn't end well for her 😊 mentions of 2x06 events so please respect the warning and take care of yourself 💛 don't like just scroll past! It's that easy!

They've been going back and forth for a good 10 minutes until Maria voices her thoughts.

"I think- god I'm so sorry but I think it's Michael." She's teary eyed and her voice cracks as she continues. "He's the only one I haven't seen alive."

It goes quiet as the possibility starts to stick to some of their minds while Alex just tries to choke back a laugh but it can be heard when he speaks. "Not possible."

The only one that gives him a disbelieving look is Maria. Everyone else sighs in relief.

"Alex I know-"

"Actually you don't." His voice has hardened as he stares her down. "You said I was angry about covering up another murder but if it was Michaels there would be no possible way I could ever be okay with it. If Michael was murdered I'd find who did it and burn them then the world down."

He gets up and leaves, stopping at the door to look at Maria one last time.

"I also wouldn't be there either. So no, Michael isn't the one who dies." Alex goes so tense it looks like he'll snap before forcing himself to relax. "I was able to somehow forgive you for that night and nearly everything else, but not this, not realizing you'd be okay with him dying."

Then he's gone.

Maria looks lost as she tries to find support or comfort from anyone else but there's none.

Now it's her that everyone is looking at in disbelief.

"Do you really think we wouldn't think of a way to bring Michael back? That we'd just be okay with him dying?"

Isobel reaches out with her powers because she needs to know.

"Oh god you really do. He's my brother Deluca! How could I ever be okay with it?"

"Maria we'd be devastated. He's- all three of us share a connection and losing that would be- I never want to feel like that again." Max and Isobel link hands, both already still on edge from Max almost dying again.

"I'm not losing Michael after everything. We would do anything for him just like he's always done for us."

Isobel and Max walk out after that.

Kyle just scoffs and follows them, his words quiet but clear as he passes her.

"Like Alex or anyone who actually cared about him would ever let that happen."

Liz was the only one left but Maria knew she would leave too.

"I would find a way Maria. We all would for Mikey." Liz shakes her head as she fights back tears. "I thought you cared about him, that you understood what it felt like back then so I pushed you to be with him. That you would think a group who has brought 2 people back to life already wouldn't do it again."

"Liz please I-"

"You know why I breathed a sigh of relief when Alex said it wasn't possible? Because the second he said that I knew he's right. Alex knows it's not possible because he'd either make sure it didn't happen or he'd join Michael. Maria he- he'd rather join Michael then be apart from him! That you would even consider Michael possibly being dead is kind of insane."

Tears spill down both their eyes as Maria continues to search for any kind of sympathy or understanding.

"It was just- it seemed the only logical explanation."

"You're only accounting for Me, Max, Isobel, Kyle, and Alex but there is an infinitely larger amount of people both in this town and in general. It could be anyone's funeral."

Maria starts to plead for her not to go but Liz can't even stomach being in the same room anymore.

"Isobel was able to connect to whatever it was you've been seeing and she's able to see them clearly with more control. Thank you for letting us know about it but you can rest now and stop destroying yourself, it seems you've taken it too far again."

Liz finally leaves and hopes Maria realizes how wrong she is about everything.

Maria just stays there all alone in denial but even that starts to crumble to nothing as she's left to reflect on her own many mistakes and faults that she's made in the last two years.

Alex is parked in front of Michael's airstream but stands at the hood of his car. He knows Michael is fine but just the idea that he'd ever- he just wants to check for reassurance.

Read the rest on Ao3!

31 notes • Posted 2021-08-24 22:56:29 GMT

Wait your telling me they couldn't do a widely spaced couples dancing at the end???? With everyone? THAT DANCE FLOOR WAS BIG ENOUGH.

Imagine: Alex coming up to Michael and asking to dance THEN heading to the statue (and NOT being blocked by said fucking statute) as they finally say ILY and maybe walk by the Alien museum with a fond smile. Kyle taking the space Michael left and talking with Isobel who brings up Anasta leaving for her promotion, that she's proud and happy for her because it was nice having something outside of the Alien drama but she couldn't really be herself (HEARTEYES AND SOFT SUGGESTIVE LOOK AT KYLE) then smirks when Kyle stumble over himself in asking her to dance. The scene before could've been Alex and Kyle discussing their future and Alex telling Kyle to go for Isobel, that from what's he's heard and seen, they work. Instead of you know what we actually got.

Echo already dancing and having another heartfelt convo that leads to them going to Liz's room. Dallas and Heath sitting at a table while they nerd out discussing why aliens can use acetone and figuring out what Dallas main power might be. It focuses on Rosa as she talks to Arturo about NY by her mural wanting him to know what it means and her plans. It ends with everyone smiling and happy before cutting to that end scene!

I'm not saying they could've cut the m*ria and kyle scene to make room.... But they could've- OR the first vision cause it didn't amount to anything (like nearly all of her visions 🙄) aside from us knowing she's having them again?

Also the shot of the Malex statue should've been in front of them with Jesse behind them TO SHOW AND TELL that all of that is literally done and past them as they get to move on while he'll forever be dead and stuck.

Just, you know, some thoughts 🙃

34 notes • Posted 2021-10-17 15:30:20 GMT

WHOEVER GIFS THAT SMOOTH AS FUCK HAND HOLDING SCENE PLEASE @ ME PLEASE!!!!!

34 notes • Posted 2021-09-14 02:00:40 GMT

A Cosmic Galaxy

Michael realizes he was good for someone who wasn't and it spirals from there but this time he has support and people that care. This time he doesn't crash and burn.

@winged-fool @lovecolibri @imawriteriwrite

Anti-Maria you've been warned!

DON'T LIKE DON'T READ 😉 IT'S THAT EASY

It's Rosa that brings it up. Or well that digs deeper into it. Michael doesn't know if it's because of curiosity or whatever stuff she's learned in therapy kicking in, but the mood is instantly brought down.

They were all enjoying lunch at Isobel's: Rosa, Michael, Kyle, Liz, and Isobel of course. The great time they were having quickly died when he mentioned how Maria also called him rude names when they dated.

"Wait, she what?"

He shrugs and continues to cut into his steak.

"I mean she was right mostly. I was a drunk and a bastard, I could be really stupid. Sometimes she added good-for-nothing or that I was unbearable to deal with. I was selfish too but I get now what I did back then weren't the healthiest coping skills. I'm really amazed she stuck with me that long."

"Mikey."

He looks up to see Liz who's staring at him in concern. He sees everyone else also doing a complete flip from the easier joking moment they we're just having.

"Um did I miss something?"

Being open is still… hard for Michael to do but he felt like he was getting better at it.

He sees Rosa and Kyle share a look, that special sibling look he and Isobel share when something serious is happening.

Looking to Isobel, she seems a bit lost in thought but they aren't good ones.

"She never did compliment you. Ever. It was always you saying them to her."

Michael frowns at her confused.

"Iz what are you talking about? She complimented me loads of times. Usually during private moments obviously but you've heard her-"

Her eyes fully focused on him stopped whatever he was going to say next.

"Ya sure but it either started or ended with an insult. Every- god every time she ever spoke to or about you."

He doesn't really see what the problem is.

"Well ya." He tries to state softly like maybe it'll help them understand. "She always did that. I mean I knew I was a lot especially during that whole time but it was just our way of talking to each other. The snarky banter was why we clicked."

Liz lays her hand on his arm so he turns to fully give her his attention.

"Mikey you don't keep doing snarky banter like that throughout the whole relationship. It gets kinder, I know you turned it kinder and she should've too. When we talked about you and she would say something like that, I thought she was complaining about you. Girl Talk where we shared what was going on and she- she always talked about you but I'm realizing it was always somehow negative, that I was the one reminding her how smart and caring you are."

Her hand slides down to hold onto his.

"I thought she loved you but looking back, I don't think she really knew you. The strong and caring brother who's a literal genius. She told me about how you were Alex's museum guy-"

"Maria knew he was Museum Guy and she still went after him?" Everyone looks to Rosa that pretty much shouted the whole thing. "Do you- Liz please tell me she didn't. I asked Alex who Museum guy was because that was the last thing I remember wanting to talk to him about before I came back and he said it was who he's in love with. I thought maybe he was talking about Forest but they only just met when I asked and Museum Guy is this decade long-"

The whole table rattles violently before going still.

"Call Maria right now."

Isobel has her phone already ringing on speaker.

Read the rest on Ao3!

44 notes • Posted 2021-09-15 06:16:44 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #ya'll im dying #this is hilarious and so accurate #when will i finally be free of the rnm brainrot #anyway im done with school time to work on rnm fics

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lecherouswritings · 6 years ago

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I was asked recently the relationship between Rat, Peter, and Grandfather so here’s my sloppy attempt to put that together. TW for sexism and child abuse and drug abuse and murder, that stuff.

One thing I have to note is that with this interconnected plot, I like to leave things open enough for people to derive multiple meanings. The wolf, for example, could be: A literal wolf, something being interpreted as a wolf but isn’t, Satan, a metaphor for evil, a hallucination, or just an homage to Little Red Riding Hood, Three Little Pigs, Peter & The Wolf, and other old tales! That being said, I do like having one set line to follow for the purpose of wrapping up a story, but it’d be fun to see what people get out of it. So just keep in mind that sometimes, something could mean A, and I’ll say it means A, but if you wanna read it as B that’s fine by me too. Or C, D, etc... To relate the connection I have to start from the source: Hito! Hito is an old God. All of my stories revolve around Hito. All of them! I’ll probably state this fact with all my explanations because it’s super important. Hito had some believers who roamed this ghost town of NM. Mr. Bradley, the wealthy son ( of four ) of an old tycoon in TX, decided to go on some holy crusade to the desert and “live off the grid”, back to them Simpler Times. He was also shunned from the family for being too wildly religious and just generally an unreasonable person, very controlling and quick to anger. Comes off as a conman than a business man like his brothers. So Bradley and some like-minded men and women set out for this desert land, killing the natives that lived there. Keep in mind the setting is late 1800s, not that that is to justify anything. The people who lived there were Hitotians, people who dedicated their lives to worshipping Hito. Kiling a Hitotian is an unforgivable act, as is desecrating land of hers, which Bradley and his bunch did both. The 3 pioneers and their wives set up temporary homes, they had all the building equipment brought over and they were going to start constructing the town now that the natives were gone, building a church and homes and fixing up whatever’s been torn down. That night they each had a respective home outside the village limits: one home made of bales of straw, another of wood, and Bradley’s made of stone blocks and brick. The 3 men starts seeing things at night but chalked it up to their exhaustion from working. Then one night, soon after their arrival and building had begun, and keep in mind there’s no electricity so it’s pitch black save for oil lamps and natural light, so Bradley’s woken up by the sound of feet pounding against the desert earth, hay being knocked asunder and the other two men getting ripped apart. Their wives and children are spared -- for now -- but up comes Bradley, who is visited inside his stone home by a creature with black arms and legs and long hair. The idiot opens the door to his home after some loud knocking persists and hey it’s Hitotian demons and they’re Madder than Hell. Bradley, who begs to be spared, is confronted by these creatures. Hito’s there but unseen, but Hito is always accompanied by vizier-types that translate English words to her, and they communicate with humans. If Bradley wants to live, then he’s going to have to make a deal with Hito. His wishes were to continue building the town and to live there, for a son to carry on his name, and upon seeing the dark-limbed creature’s teeth, he asked to have his wolf teeth. Hito gives him what he asks for, in return, he has to carry out human sacrifices on her hallowed ground til the day he dies, and discourage procreation. Hito’s whole schtick is to elimate humans from the Earth, so making more is kind of dumb, right? So he agrees and they leave him. He’d made the mistake of staring into the black-limbed creatures eyes, which made his eyes SUPER light sensitive at all times, hence the sunglasses. Even the darkness is too much. The black-limbed creature with the wolf features is supposed to be Rat, but how and why Rat’s story starts in 1962 Florida as an 8 year old boy isn’t supposed to be answered, I want people to try and figure that out with clues ;) it’s a multiple choice answer! I know the answer but I’m choosing to keep it quiet. Bradley conceives Peter, but it’s with a prostitute and not within the confines of marriage, so it’s something he’s ashamed of. He slept with most of the women in the village but none of them ever became pregnant. He kept tabs on the prostitute, then she gave birth and he took Peter and killed her, bringing her back to the village for a woman Gretchen, one of the wives of the 3 original men who founded the land, to care for him. As Peter got older, so did Bradley, and he was getting lazy with keeping his bargain to Hito. Killing people became tiresome. Torture was fine, tormenting the orphans in the home he helped run with some of the women whose husbands were sacrificed for Hito in the past. Hito will accept torture but it’s no substitute for rital sacrifice and he knows this. He’s threatened that if he does not comply. they’re going to take something from him, and he doesn’t take the threat seriously. That’s when the black-limbed spirit begins to roam the dusty land, fouling crops, killing livestock, disturbing the inhabitants. Bradley uses the wolf metaphor for sin, and how they need to appease God with more sacrifices. Again, he gets lazy, no one dies, so the spirit starts visiting young Peter at night. Peter is fascinated with the creature that he sees as a giant wolf and wants to befriend him. A running theme with my stories is that Hitotian demons will prey on children because they’re impressionable and easy targets. At first he’s delighted with how strange the wolf is, but things go south fast. The wolf starts showing him disturbing visions of death and destruction and Peter wants none of that. The hauntings begin, the hallucinations, the nightly visits. Bradley, who has convinced Peter that he’s his grandfather and not his father because of the shameful secret of conceiving him with a prostitute, exacerbates things by telling him his parents were eaten by a wolf, and plays up the theme for his sermons and how if you don’t wanna get eaten by the wolf, you gotta be good. Peter, who just minds his own business and is being assaulted nightly by this creature, starts losing his mind, so his grandfather, who’s already a child abuser at the orphanage, decides to take manners into his own hands. Peter is to be tied and gagged to his bed until he “stops with the wolf business”, thinking he’s making it up at first being a fantastical child, then he thinks his son is “broken in the head” and decides Peter is too much trouble to keep around, he’s so fearful and sad and has to remain sheltered so he doesn’t incite the village into panic, or to make rumors spread. Bradley tries to conceive another child with the women in the village but again, none of them get pregnant, so he has to keep Peter around to carry on his bloodline, which Bradley thinks is So Important. With Peter tied to his bed through most of his childhood, he feeds Peter twice a day and indoctrinates him. If he misbehaves, he injects him with “medicine” which is heroin, causing him to hallucinate and get very sick. ( Keep in mind, Bradley gave drugs to the orphans as well, just to see what would happen and to see if he could give them to Peter when he misbehaves ) Eventually, Peter learns the way of the Lord as his grandfather taught him, and the visions of the wolf stop. Not completely, but enough to sleep at night. Because of this, Bradley decides to take him outside more often, or when the sun comes out. Because of the cursed land, Hito has a blanket of overcast to prevent growth of crops to punish the people. If Bradley makes a sacrifice, the sun will come out. Peter has prophetic visions of what he perceives as Christ ( It’s Rat! ) killing everyone and seeking revenge from the sinners of the village. Peter’s got it in his head that God is wrathful, hateful, and black and white ( which is why I use a b&w motif as Peter’s BG in some pics ) and becomes a raving fanatic for Christ. Bradley has pretty much given up on his son at this point, and eventually plans on overdosing him, leaving the village, and trying again with another son with a woman outside the village. He’s kept all his thoughts and secrets down in a journal he hides in his room that Peter later discovers. Bradley starts giving sermons about love, God is love, we all need to love each other and procreate. Going against Hito’s wishes intentionally thinking it’ll “reverse the curse” and with his son no longer holding value to him, or the village really, he doesn’t have anything to lose. Peter becomes outraged by his grandfather’s changing of tune and his desire to get Peter to give him a grandson ( hey it’s another bloodline option to fall back on! ) but Peter doesn’t want to follow his orders anymore. Peter wants to preach and set everyone straight in the town with the Lord, to keep the wolf away and to bring Jesus into everyone’s lives, whatever it takes, so by some luck he manages to lock Bradley into the room he was held captive in for most of his youth and torture him, putting him through interrogation, breaking open his head to let the Lord in, to fix his sinful ways. To be fair, Bradley did raise Peter to believe this stuff, but it was also a mix of the child abuse, the drugs, and the Proto Rat spirit. Flash forward many years later, Rat’s an adult and comes across a murderer at an active crime scene and pursues him when he runs. There’s a sequence I want to draw of Peter trying to get away from Rat in a Florida swamp and Rat tormenting him in a similar fashion to how young Peter was being tormented as a child, causing his regression fear. The encounter, up close and personal with Rat, tells Peter that this thing, whatever Rat is, is linked to his past with the wolf. He doesn’t know how or why, but it’s something inside of him that he can’t deny, just as strong as his devotion to God. Throughout the journey with Rat and his group with Peter there as a pack member, they have talks to try and dig and see where the two are linked, why they’re linked, and ultimately what they’re looking for with each other’s company. Amy is constantly trying to get in-between them because she thinks Peter is trying to harm Rat and break up the group with his religious presence, despite his participation with the murders and ritual activities. She’s also extremely protective of Rat and very immature. I’ve been asked too about Peter’s religiousness and the Hitotian aspect. If he joins with Rat and the ritual chain of command is Hito - Rat - Pack, but he’s this cultist Baptist, how does that work? WELL, Hito’s wormed into other religions as well, and a lot of times she’ll speak to people “as Jesus” to do murders for her, which plays on actual crimes of people murdering others because “God told them to” and in this case, Peter didn’t know any better and really thought God was telling him to do these acts. At the end it dawns on him that Hito was using him for sacrifices and it causes an internal breakdown that he either needs to go head-first into obeying Rat and Hito or turn away and find redemption. Rat is manipulative as all Hell and uses Peter’s trauma to dominate him into a submissive follower, like the other Pack members, conditioning him, using his flesh-realness as proof, not some invisible God, and illustrates supernatural power to him, much like the Devil would in a biblical tale to convert a holy man. Rat keeps what he knows about Peter and Bradley fairly secret too, not wanting to reveal his hand. The affliction that Bradley has with the sentient meat, hooked up to the medical machines is residual Hitotian energy leaking into the real world through suffering. Torture and suffering causes a dimensional “gateway” to open, bringing Hito closer and closer to resurrection, and one thing you need to know about Hito is when she retreated from Earth to regroup for a take over, something happened in her transition into a parallel dimension and it turned her inside out, so instead of her being a singular being in a world, she BECAME the dimension, insides and guts and blood and the air, her memories, everything. Something she hopes to fix once enough people have been sacrificed. Bradley’s gone mental from being forced to remain alive with his brain rotting. Both him and Rat have seen into the dimension and it’s a thing where once you see it you’re never the same. For Rat, his body calls to the alien dimension and starts to rot, preparing for a new body with new cells and genetic coding. Bradley’s human body is soft and weak and unfit for transition, so it drives him mad. He thinks if he eats Rat he will become as powerful as he is. Peter doesn’t know about any of this, just that his father ( he learns he’s his father from the secret journal ) is a horrifying meat monster, and that Rat is definitely not human but linked to his past. Denial of Rat is almost like obeying his father Bradley, so maybe his following of Rat is rebellion of his father’s ways, how we all rebel against our parents wishes? Maybe it’s Rat’s real presence, and not an invisible one? Is it the proof he provides? Is it a need to really give into evil and be one’s trueself without shame or remorse, or will human morality trump our animal minds? Learned behaviour versus the heart’s desires? Lots of questions arise! I want to show how the wheels turn for each member of the Pack ( I know y’all mostly see Peter lately, but all the Pack members sans Ryan have very deep links to Rat and why they follow him! ) I hope this answers the question more or less, I love keeping things open to interpretation because it’s fun to see what people think up if they get invested, but I do have a storyline I’m going for as well. I use musical inspiration as well as classic kids tale elements, biblical elements, coming of age, brutality of man, the idea of transforming onesself, etc etc... But I gotta have that horror element in everything :) if anyone has any questions please feel free! I answer them anonymously unless requested otherwise.

#long post

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live4yahushua-blog · 7 years ago

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Amightywind prophecy #132

Prophecy 132 Israel I Love You, I Rebuke You!

Written/Spoken under the Anointing of the HOLY SPIRIT (RUACH HA KODESH)

Through Apostle & Prophet Elisheva Eliyahu

Received July 16 – Released on Simchat Torah October 25, 2016

This Prophecy came forth live and in real time during Shabbat morning service July 16, 2016 with Ezra & Elisheva’s spiritual sons & daughters (Jl 2:27-32; Acts 2:17-22) after reading the Torah parsha/portion (Nm 19:1-22:1) & haftarah (Jgs 11:1-33), along with Prophecy 63, Oh Israel Where is Your Blood Sacrifice? originally given to Elisheva Eliyahu September 16, 2002.

Below is the Prophecy as it came forth

with Prophet Elisheva’s “Holy tongues,” as GOD’S SPIRIT gives utterance (Acts 2:3-4) of heavenly or earthly languages (1 Co 13:1). Elisheva speaks forth in tongues bringing Prophecy (1 Co 14:6).

It contains the HEBREW NAMES of GOD:

YAH / YAHUVEH is GOD’S HOLY, SACRED NAME as in “Alleluia” or “Hallelu YAH”. Which literally means “Praise YAH”: YAHUVEH / YAHWEH is GOD THE FATHER; YAHUSHUA / YAHSHUA is GOD’S ONLY BEGOTTEN SON(HA MASHIACH means “THE MESSIAH”; ELOHIM means “GOD.”)

The Revelation of “SH’KHINYAH GLORY” as the PERSONAL NAME of RUACH HA KODESH, (in English The HOLY SPIRIT), is also on this site. (HA SH’KHINAH {SHEKINAH} is Hebrew for GOD’S ABIDING, DIVINE PRESENCE.)

Additionally, ABBA YAH means “FATHER YAH” and IMMAYAH means “MOTHER YAH.”

Scripture quotes are KJV or NKJV unless otherwise indicated. Right click footnote numbers to open a second tab.

* * * * * * *

YAHUVEH’S Words to Elisheva to be added before the Prophecies:

I warned you a long time ago Elisabeth [Elisheva], not to name this Ministry after a man or a woman. Even before there was a Ministry, I put it in your spirit.

For none of this has been done by your hands. None of this has come forth from your mouth.

It is from the Mouth of YAHUVEH that has given birth. It is from the Mouth of YAHUSHUA, your MASHIACH, that it has been given birth. It is from the Mouth of the RUACH HA KODESH, your IMMAYAH, that it has been given birth.

If it had only been by your hand, it would have failed long ago.

It is by the SHKHINYAH GLORY’S WIND that blows across this earth, the HOLY WIND OF REVIVAL. It is not by your breath, or it would have failed.

?I AM the LORD YAHUVEH: that is MY NAME: And MY GLORY I will not give to another, Neither MY PRAISE to graven images.? Isaiah 42:8

(Prophecy 105)

In July 2010, YAHUVEH GOD also said to add the following as a warning to those who mock:

But they mocked the Messengers of GOD, despised HIS Words, and scoffed at HIS Prophets, until the Wrath of YAHUVEH arose against HIS People, till there was no remedy. ?2 Chronicles 36:16

Then, in July 2016:

Woe be unto anyone that dares to try to harm?these two anointed ones. You will regret the day you ever were born. Touch not MY anointed and neither do these two Prophets any harm (see Ps 105:15; 1 Ch 16:22). It would be better for you if I, ABBA YAHUVEH, would tear out your tongue!

(Prophecy 128)

And from Prophet Ezra:

I warn you all?those who are coming against this Ministry AND THESE PROPHECIES and Elisheva and I, all the Ministers of AmightyWind Ministry?I warn you now, ?Touch not YAH’S Anointed and do HIS Prophets no harm? (Ps 105:15; 1 Ch 16:22) lest the Wrath of the Rod of YAH come upon you. But for those who are blessed and are a blessing for this Ministry, and faithful, and who receive the Prophecies, much blessing will come on you?all to protect what belongs to YAH in the NAME OF YAHUSHUA.

* * * * * * *

This was recorded via audio/video. Here is the transcription.

[ All pray in Holy tongues; Justin blows shofar horn, then Ezra; the devil is bound and congregation wars in prayer (Ro 8:26)… ]

Elisheva: Thank YOU, thank YOU. I thank YOU… We ask for the gift of the interpretation of tongues (Is 28:11; 1 Cor 12:10; 14:13) right now of what James spoke [in tongues]. Does any[one]-James do you know? What is the Word that was spoken forth? If anyone hears it, let us know.

Romans 8:26 The SPIRIT also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the SPIRIT itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

Isaiah 28:11 For with stammering lips and another tongue will HE speak to this people.

1 Corinthians 12:7-10 The manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. For to one is given by the Spirit […] divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues.

1 Corinthians 14:13 […] let him that speaketh in an unknown tongue pray that he may interpret.

James: Before I was speaking in tongues, when I heard you said you had a Word and then we started praying, I heard the Words as the shofar was being blown: “Hear O Israel.” [Emphasis on] “Hear,” you know.

Christina: I heard…I was hearing [from Heaven] Mom. I heard “Israel where is your blood sacrifice?” (Lv 17:11) at one point and then another point, I heard, “MY BLOOD drenches the soil in Israel”

Leviticus 17:11 For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.

Elisheva: Amen. I want to see your face when you say that because this is going to be before the world. This is a Prophecy that’s going before the world. Alright, say it again.

Christina: I heard “Israel, where is your blood sacrifice?” at one point and at another point, I heard “MY BLOOD drenches the soil in Israel.”

Elisheva: Amen! That’s what’s overwhelming me right now. I don’t know how I can even speak forth the Words-the grief that YAHUSHUA feels. Does anyone else hear anything?-before Ezra prays in Holy tongues that are actually, actually “the Wrath of the LAMB.”

Ezra: James is gonna repeat what he says because [he wasn’t on camera]…

Elisheva: Alright James.

James: Yeah. Just as we were praying in the beginning I heard the Words “Hear O Israel” as if a Message was about to be given forth. So just wanted to share that.

Elisheva: Thank you.

Rosie! What did you hear Rosie? For some reason I felt led for you to pray for me.

Rosie: I was just…I didn��t hear anything specific to the Word Momma, but I was just seeing how-when everyone was praying, I was seeing how-angels were coming down. And I was actually seeing them bind up demons like all around us.

Elisheva: Thank you. Thank you. Yes.

Ezra: Praise GOD!

Stephen: Amen.

James: Praise YAH!

Elisheva: Thank YOU, ABBA YAHUVEH. [Prays in Holy tongues] I don’t know how many know this. But they’re going to know this right now as this is let loose-and everyone’s going to know (who [are] the reprobate enemies that’s trying to destroy-this enemy [that is] trying silence this Prophet): my beloved-Apostle, Prophet Ezra from Israel-he now has been given the Anointing of the ‘Wrath of the LAMB tongues’.2

(That is YAHUSHUA that comes again when the people will say, the reprobate will say, “Oh Mountains fall on us, hide us from HE WHO SITS ON THE THRONE and from the Wrath of the LAMB” [Rv 6:16-17]).2 And this is how close we are right now to the Great Tribulation beginning.

And [earlier] when I heard that Prophecy [63] that was given to me in 2002 [I began to hear more from Heaven]-there had never been a more anointed reading of it than what Justin did [earlier, during this meeting], but I don’t even believe that’s even in my voice anywhere… that was just… it wasn’t… it was so long ago, I wasn’t doing audios at that time or there are very few)-and so [before I speak forth this new Prophecy] Ezra you are to pray with those tongues that’s gonna make the demons go running in 7 different directions and they fear when you pray. And we know that.

Ezra: Yes, and Justin wants to say something.

Elisheva: Yes. Yes, darling Justin.

Justin: I hear the Anointing speak to me, say[ing],

Prophetic Word:

Israel you’ve not heard the Words of MY Prophets. It was prophesied in Isaiah and it’s prophesied in all-all the Old Testament that YAHUSHUA would come and Israel did not hear, and did not listen to the Words of the Prophets. And that’s when the PROPHET OF PROPHETS came, YAHUSHUA. They did not receive HIM.

And Israel must know the Word of YAHUVEH and they must know the Words of the Prophets and they must know the Torah and they must believe and receive that YAHUSHUA is the MESSIAH and the SON OF YAH.

End of Word.

Justin: So that’s it.

Ezra: Amen.

Elisheva: Thank you. [ Ezra prays in Wrath of the LAMB tongues ] Thank YOU. Thank YOU! Thank YOU! HallleluYAH! Thank YOU. [Prays in Holy tongues…]

Prophecy 132 Begins:

Shabbat – July 16, 2016. Video begins here.

Again I say unto you oh Israel as you approach the Time of Jacob’s Trouble (Jr 30:7), the Sorrow of Sorrows (Mt 24:8-9), know ye not when I wept tears of blood (hematidrosis , Lk 22:44), I wept for you!

Jeremiah 30:7 Alas! for that day is great, so that none is like it: it is even the time of Jacob’s trouble, but he shall be saved out of it.

Matthew 24: 7 For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. 8 All these are the beginning of sorrows. 9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for MY NAME’S Sake.

Luke 22:44 And being in an agony HE prayed more earnestly: and HIS sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

You do all the traditions. You are faithful to Shabbat. You are faithful to the Jewish feasts. You read the Torah. Yet in your own Torah, I AM there; Moshe speaks of ME (Dt 18:15 etc.), I AM there!

Deuteronomy 18: 15-19

15 YAHUVEH thy GOD will raise up unto thee a PROPHET from the midst of thee, of thy brethren, like unto me; unto HIM ye shall hearken.

16 According to all that thou desiredst of YAHUVEH thy GOD in Horeb in the day of the assembly, saying, Let me not hear again the voice of YAHUVEH MY GOD, neither let me see this great fire any more, that I die not.

17 And YAHUVEH said unto me, They have well spoken that which they have spoken.

18 I will raise them up a PROPHET from among their brethren, like unto thee, and will put my words in HIS Mouth; and he shall speak unto them all that I shall command him.

19 And it shall come to pass, that whosoever will not hearken unto my words which he shall speak in MY NAME, I will require it of him.

I wept tears of BLOOD for you oh Israel and that wasn’t enough. I proved MY Love. As I was crucified-not only for the sins of all the world (for those who would receive that BLOOD at Calvary) but oh Israel, I chose your soil-MY BLOOD was poured out for you! Because I love you!

Oh I weep and I travail. For Scriptures will be fulfilled and the blood will come up to the horses’ bridle (Is 63:3; Rv 14:20)!

Isaiah 63:3 I have trodden the winepress alone; and of the people there was none with ME: for I will tread them in MINE Anger, and trample them in MY Fury; and their blood shall be sprinkled upon MY Garments, and I will stain all MY Raiment. 4 For the Day of Vengeance is in MINE Heart, and the year of MY redeemed is come.

Revelation 14:19 And the angel thrust in his sickle into the earth, and gathered the vine of the earth, and cast it into the great winepress of the Wrath of GOD. 20 And the winepress was trodden without the city, and blood came out of the winepress, even unto the horse bridles, by the space of a thousand and six hundred furlongs.

Oh Israel!

The world turns on you-even that that was the only one you could call your friend, the United States of America-betray you again and again! You are not the terrorists and yet those who are the terrorists accuse you.

I, YAHUSHUA, weep for you!

You heard the Prophecy [63] given in 2002 by MY Prophet Elijah of New, but now oh Israel in 2016 the spirit of Eliyahu and the spirit of Moshe join together! This is to show you the fullness of the Anointing.

And from henceforth, to all those who receive YAHUSHUA, I YAHUSHUA’S BLOOD spilled at Calvary for the remission of your sins so your prayers can be heard to your ABBA YAHUVEH, I tell you this: study not just the Prophets of Old but study the Prophets Prophecies spoken forth from Elisheva Eliyahu.

For there is now more Anointing when [these two] Apostles, Prophets join together-not just Ministries but their hearts and their souls join together-it’s symbolic too: I, YAHUSHUA, joining with you!

Oh Israel!

I do not want to have to do what I have to do! Come to ME! Oh Bride of Israel! Raise up now! Come to ME! I long for you! Come to ME! For I’ve waited so long-with every Torah portion-“seek and ye shall find” (Jer 29:13-14; Mt 7:7; Lk 11:5), a Prophecy given through this Elisheva Eliyahu.

Jeremiah 29: 11-14 11For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith YAHUVEH, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 12Then shall ye call upon ME, and ye shall go and pray unto ME, and I will hearken unto you. 13And ye shall seek ME, and find ME, when ye shall search for ME with all your heart. 14And I will be found of you, saith YAHUVEH: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith YAHUVEH; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.

Matthew 7:7-12 (see also Luke 11:5-13) 7Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 9Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? 10Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN give good things to them that ask HIM? 12Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Oh Israel!

Again I say where is your blood sacrifice? The ‘Sorrows of Sorrows’ is nearly upon you! You see the world. They turn and they mock you. They cut your financial lifeline.

Oh but Israel!

I desire to bless you! I will never leave nor forsake you (Dt 31:6; Heb 13:5) if you just claim ME! Claim that BLOOD that was shed for you at Calvary! None of this Torah reading can save you! You have such beautiful ways that you honor ABBA YAHUVEH but you need an INTERCESSOR (Is 64:6)!

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Isaiah 64:6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

None are worthy to come before the ABBA YAH’S Throne except in MY-YAHUSHUA your MASHIACH’S-NAME! I paid the PRICE for you at Calvary! All have sinned and fell short of ABBA YAH’S Glory (Ro 3:23; Ec 7:20)! None are perfect (Ps 130:3)!

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of GOD

Ecclesiastes 7:20 For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.

Psalm 130:3 If thou, YAHUVEH, shouldest mark iniquities, O ADONAI, who shall stand?

I came to you! I ministered to you! The signs and wonders, the miracles are only a very fraction even recorded there [in the Bible]. I raised the dead!

Oh Israel, come to ME. I weep for you. I weep for you!

And this Ministry now is beginning, just beginning to walk in the fullness of the Anointing. For truly it began on March 7, 2016. Where the devil mocked and said “Elisheva Eliyahu’s Ministry is finished. AmightyWind is finished” for she lived with a “Judas” [Iscariot] (Ish-Kariyot, Mk 3:19, also Acts 1:16-) for 7 years and knew it not-oh, but on that day, I had a man of YAH-

Mark 3:19 And Judas Iscariot, which also betrayed HIM: and they went into an house.

-oh, but on that day, I had a man of YAH.

And on that March 7, there he was in Israel. And he had just picked up IMMAYAH’S books. And the Anointing was all over him. And anyone can see there was love immediately there as I join Ephraim & Judah together.

And he prophesied out of his own lips, “What GOD has joined together, no man can divide” (Mk 10:9).

And this is what I say to you oh Israel!

Accept MY BLOOD shed for you at Calvary! Realize I AM not dead! I rose again on that third day (Mt 16:21, 1 Cor 15:4). And I did more signs, wonders and miracles than any book could ever show as I walked that earth for 40 days and I ascended into Heaven before witnesses (Acts 1:3, Mk 16:19).

Matthew 16:21 From that time forth began YAHUSHUA to shew unto his disciples, how that HE must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.

1 Corinthians 15:4 and that HE was buried, and that HE rose again the third day according to the Scriptures.

Acts 1:3 To whom also HE shewed HIMSELF alive after HIS passion by many infallible proofs, being seen of them forty days, and speaking of the things pertaining to the Kingdom of GOD:

Mark 16:19 So then after the LORD [ADON YAHUSHUA] had spoken unto them, HE was received up into Heaven, and sat on the Right Hand of [YAHUVEH] GOD.

Oh Israel! Oh Israel! I hold you more accountable. For you speak all the right words (Is 29:13) but until you give your heart to ME, until you accept the SHED BLOOD at Calvary (Zc 12:10; 13:1), I cannot forgive you!

Isaiah 29:13-14, 24

13 Therefore ADONAI said: “Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths And honor ME with their lips, But have removed their hearts far from ME, And their fear toward ME is taught by the commandment of men,

14 Therefore, behold, I will again do a marvelous work among this people, a marvelous work and a wonder; For the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, And the understanding of their prudent men shall be hidden.” […]

24 These also who erred in spirit will come to understanding, And those who complained will learn doctrine.”

Zechariah 12:10 And I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the SPIRIT OF GRACE AND OF SUPPLICATIONS: and they shall look upon ME WHOM THEY HAVE PIERCED, and they shall mourn for HIM, as one mourneth for his only son, and shall be in bitterness for HIM, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn.

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Zechariah 13:1 In that Day there shall be a fountain opened to the house of David and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem for sin and for uncleanness.

Oh but when this Word is spoken forth, there’s a new Anointing this day and oh so many shall hear and they shall come running to ME! They shall come running like a little child! They shall leap with joy!

For you see this Ministry is no ordinary ministry! I have brought the spirits of Eliyahu & Moshe together as I bring their love together, as I bring the leadership together. And now I bring you, oh Israel.

Oh Israel!

You will be hated and you are hated because you are so set apart but you are no longer Holy! Look what you’ve allowed!

GAY PRIDE PARADES? ABORTIONS! HOW CAN YOU READ THE TORAH PORTION? WITHOUT FALLING ON YOUR KNEES AND REPENTING BEFORE ABBA YAHUVEH! HOW CAN YOU DO THESE TRADITIONS? THAT LOOK SO HOLY! AND NOT REPENT FOR WHAT YOUR LAND IS DOING?

AND I WEEP, I WEEP! I WEEP! WHERE IS THE MORALITY IN ISRAEL! WHERE IS THE STANDARD OF HOLINESS!

AWAY, AWAY, AWAY! AWAY FROM ME! WHEN YOU READ NOTHING BUT THE TORAH AND YET YOU PUT NO REPENTANCE IN IT-REPENT!

Cry out for your land, oh Israel!

WHERE IS THE LEADERSHIP? NETANYAHU! YOU WERE SENT AS A PROPHET UNTO [THE U.S.] CONGRESS! YOU’RE ALL THAT I COULD FIND! But why do you return back to Israel and tell them not to repent for their sins!

THE BLOOD OF THE UNBORN! DRENCHES YOUR HANDS! THE ABORTIONS! DO YOU NOT KNOW-these babies, these innocent little foetuses, are offered up to the god moloch (Lv 18:21)? OFFERED UP TO SATAN!

Leviticus 18:21 And thou shalt not let any of thy seed pass through the fire to Molech, neither shalt thou profane the NAME OF THY GOD: I AM THE LORD YAHUVEH.

OH ISRAEL, OH ISRAEL! The Rod of YAH’S Wrath is coming! For I chastise those that I love (Dt 8:5; Pr 3:11-12; Heb 12:6-8; Rv 3:19)!

Deuteronomy 8:5 Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee.

Proverbs 3:11-12 11 My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: 12 For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

Hebrews 12:6-8 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

Revelation 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

And I’m gonna beat you (Ezek 5:7-9)! And I AM going to allow the world to beat you (Zech 14:1-3)! Until you finally get on your knees and say, “Blessed is he who comes in the NAME of the LORD YAHUSHUA!” (Ps 118: Mt 23:38-39).

Ezekiel 5: 7-9 Therefore thus saith YAHUVEH ELOHIM; Because ye multiplied [your evil deeds] more than the nations that are round about you, and have not walked in MY statutes, neither have kept MY judgments, neither have done according to the judgments of the nations that are round about you; 8Therefore thus saith YAHUVEH ELOHIM; Behold, I, even I, AM against thee, and will execute judgments in the midst of thee in the sight of the nations. 9And I will do in thee that which I have not done, and whereunto I will not do any more the like, because of all thine abominations.

Zechariah 14:1-3 1Behold, the Day of YAHUVEH cometh, and thy spoil shall be divided in the midst of thee. 2For I will gather all nations against Jerusalem to battle; and the city shall be taken, and the houses rifled, and the women ravished; and half of the city shall go forth into captivity, and the residue of the people shall not be cut off from the city. 3Then shall YAHUVEH go forth, and fight against those nations, as when he fought in the day of battle.

Psalm 118:25-26 25 Save [HOSHIA] now, I beseech thee, O YAHUVEH: O YAHUVEH, I beseech thee, send now prosperity. 26Blessed be he that cometh in the NAME of YAHUVEH: we have blessed you out of the house of YAHUVEH.

Matthew 23:38-39 38 Behold, your house is left unto you desolate. 39 For I say unto you, Ye shall not see ME henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the NAME of YAHUVEH.

Again, oh Israel, stand up for morality! Stand up for the standard of Holiness!

You recite the Ten Commandments! You recite the Torah Laws! But how many follow them? How many will stand up for morality? Vain words-is in your mouth (Is 29:13; Ps 50:15-16)! And I will not bless this!

Psalm 50:15-16 15 And call upon ME in the Day of Trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me. 16 But unto the wicked GOD saith, What hast thou to do to declare MY Statutes, or that thou shouldest take MY Covenant in thy mouth?

Come to ME! With repentance and tears! These are the ones I’m going to save! These are the ones I will protect! Stop compromising! This world will always hate you, but I-oh Israel, I YAHUSHUA-I love you! Your ABBA YAH loves you!

Stop fearing the NAME of your HEAVENLY FATHER!

Have you not read Psalm 91 [vv 14-16]? I HEAR IT! And yet you dare take MY NAME in vain by not allowing it to even be spoken. You think this honors ME when I say again and again-ABBA YAH, again and again tells you, “In MY NAME!” “In MY NAME!” “In MY NAME!” “Call out in the NAME!” Fear not the NAME of YAHUVEH!

Psalm 91:14-16 14″Because he loves me,” says YAHUVEH, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges MY NAME. 15He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation [Yeshuati].”

Fear not the NAME of YAHUSHUA! YAH is in MY NAME!

Oh Israel, oh Israel!

I weep for you! I travail for you! Tears of BLOOD was poured out for you. Where did satan tempt me (Mt 4: 1-11; Mk 1:12-13; Lk 4:1-13) but in Israel? So this day I take the time to tell you oh Israel, come to ME!

Come to ME! For the Time of Jacob’s Trouble & Sorrow is so soon upon you!

Come to ME! Learn of ME! And be warned-even this Word coming forth now. That which will come as the false messiah (Zc 11:17; Dn 7:7-8, 24-25; 8:23-24; 9:27) is so very, very close! Do not be deceived! Come to ME now!

Zechariah 11:17 Woe to the idol shepherd that leaveth the flock! the sword shall be upon his arm, and upon his right eye: his arm shall be clean dried up, and his right eye shall be utterly darkened.

Daniel 8: 23 And in the latter time of their kingdom, when the transgressors are come to the full, a king of fierce countenance, and understanding dark sentences, shall stand up.

24 And his power shall be mighty, but not by his own power: and he shall destroy wonderfully, and shall prosper, and practise, and shall destroy the mighty and the holy people. […]

Come to, I, YAHUSHUA! And I promise I will wrap MY Arms around you! Your sins will be as far as the east is from the west (Ps 103: 12)! I will cover you with MY BLOOD Covenant! I will put a ring around your finger! I will fill you with the RUACH HA KODESH! Come to ME oh Israel!

Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

Oh MY BLOOD, MY BLOOD, MY BLOOD! Even one drop could have saved ALL of Israel! It could have saved ALL the world! Just one drop! Yet I spilled it all out!

None have an excuse where none can say they do not know MY NAME. These are the Words on MY Heart this day oh Israel.

IMMAYAH wants to gather you and put her [Israel] underneath HER Wings. (For SHE is the ‘MOTHER EAGLE’! SHE is not a ‘chicken’ [Mt 23:37; Lk 13:34])! SHE wants to protect you! That which you call the SWEET HOLY SPIRIT, the RUACH HA KODESH wants to fill you.

Matthew 23:37 (also see Luke 13:34) O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, which killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee; how often would I have gathered thy children together, as a hen [i.e. a female bird] doth gather her brood under her wings, and ye would not!

Come to ME oh Israel! Accept the BLOOD I shed for you at Calvary!

The nails-the spikes that were driven into MY Hands, Feet! The crown of thorns was placed upon MY Head. I was beaten for you oh Israel! All that I went through was not only for just this world, [those] who would receive it but oh Israel, I chose you! I chose you to walk the land that I walked on. I chose you!

Oh come to ME oh Israel! You want to honor GOD ABBA YAHUVEH, the FATHER? Then honor ME. For you cannot come to Heaven, you cannot come to ABBA YAH without coming through MY NAME & MY BLOOD!

Oh Israel! Once again stand up for morality! The world wants to hate you? Give them a reason: You stand up for morality! You stand up for righteousness! You do what no other nation or country on the face of this earth is doing! You be set apart for Holiness once again! You wash the blood of the abortions off your hands!

Oh where is the leader whose heart belongs to ME? Who does not fear-to say, “Oh Israel return again! To that which Moshe preached! To Holiness! To righteousness!

There’s a NEW BLOOD COVENANT and it’s MY BLOOD shed for you, as I shed it for all those who’d receive it. But right now Israel I’m talking to you!

Return!

Return. Return to that which the Disciples of Old, the Apostles, taught! Return. Do not just recite the Torah Laws-obey them! Obey them.

Because I love you so much!

Again I warn you as you see what’s happening in this world, as you see even laws being passed to label Israel “terrorists” and the hatred that’s coming at you and the political leaders who say they are friends and are really enemies.

There is a man who doesn’t even follow MY Commandments, but his name is Donald Trump and he truly does love Israel! He would be a friend to you.

For I deal with him even now. This is why he chose the vice president that he would want with him should he win the election, but this cannot happen if enough people do not pray and put action behind their prayers and get out and vote.

I’m just telling you now.

When I spoke to Elisheva Eliyahu and she commanded the prayer warriors to pray [with Prophecy 131] for Donald Trump (all because of a dream that I had given her, and a change of her heart, to cover this man in prayer) look at the choice he made [for vice presidential running mate] a man who also values life, evangelical, a man so humble, the opposite of Donald Trump’s pride-it was I, YAHUSHUA that put it upon his heart.

For I’m drawing him. I’m drawing him. He doesn’t want to play the game of politics. And so much he has to keep to himself.

Just like Netanyahu-he values the sanctity of marriage but he compromises! He compromises for the sake of politics! He does not want the gay pride parades nor same-sex ‘marriage’! Compromise! Compromise! This is what the politics of this world is all about-fear of saying what they really believe.

But today oh Israel, I cry out to you. I, YAHUSHUA, travailed for you while I was on this earth. And ABBA YAHUVEH cries out for you! Put action behind those Torah Words! When you recite the Torah Laws put action behind it. For “faith without works is dead” (Jms 2:20).

James 2:17Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. 18Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works. 19Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. 20But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? 21Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar? 22Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect? 23And the Scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.

From henceforth-I speak to the leadership of this Ministry and I tell you this-with those Torah portions, when you speak of the Prophets of Old, you also speak the Prophecies that I have given Elisheva Eliyahu. For it is for this time and this hour.

For they will lead the people of Israel to I, YAHUSHUA!

Oh Israel you’ve always had earthquakes but you cannot conceive of what will happen: When I YAHUVEH & I YAHUSHUA & I IMMAYAH, the RUACH HA KODESH foot stomp all over Israel! To chastise them! When your mouth is so parched because you refused to receive the LIVING WATER, I YAHUSHUA, and I seal up the sky and I have MY Two Witnesses decree no more rain shall fall!

I warn you now. I warn you now. It’s all part of chastisement!

Receive the LIVING WATER now and you will never thirst again oh Israel. Eat of the HEAVENLY MANNA and you will never hunger again, oh Israel.

I can make you invisible (Jr 36:26; Ps 27:5; 31:20) in the midst of a crowd just like I did when I walked the earth in Israel (see Lk 4:29-30; Jn 7:30; 8:59; 10: 39). I walked right among those who would be enemies and no one even saw ME. The governments think they have your bio data. Oh! But I, YAHUSHUA, can change your DNA.

I can do so many things oh Israel-to protect you if you will but just bow your knee to ME. I can hide you in ways you never dreamed possible. Psalm 91 is a promise I’ve given you. But you must come in the NAME of YAHUSHUA and through the BLOOD of YAHUSHUA.

I desire to protect you oh Israel-those who I will call MY children, the redeemed, the redeemed-the remnant they shall come!

They shall hear this Prophecy and they shall run, run, run to ME! And I shall welcome them because I love you so much oh Israel! Even on this Shabbat day, how many of you right now bow your heads and pray? And yet you’re so far from ME. You refuse to accept ME. But this will change-because I have a Bride of Israel.

And when they hear these Words, they’re going to recognize their MESSIAH and they’re going to accept the GIFT I gave at Calvary and with MY BLOOD they are going to be cleansed.

And the Hebrew translators shall come forward and they shall help translate! Freely they will give this gift and help Ezra to get these Words into the Hebrew language.

These are the Words I have to say on this Shabbat day after the reading-after Ezra reading the Torah portion. Make sure to include the Prophecies I’ve given this Prophet Eliyahu.

End of First Part of Word.

Elisheva: Praise YAHUSHUA!

[ Applause ]

Ezra: Thank YOU HEAVENLY FATHER! Thank YOU HEAVENLY FATHER! Thank YOU YAHUSHUA! Thank YOU IMMAYAH for these Words that came forth through YOUR Prophet Elisheva Eliyahu, my beloved. Thank YOU ABBA YAHUVEH for speaking forth this Word and from now on we’ll take all the Prophecies […] and we’ll read it and the Torah portion and the Prophetic Message will come forth in YAHUSHUA’S NAME and everybody say…

All: AMEN!

Elisheva: And I want the world to know that he is wearing a gift given to me. And that is my prayer shawl. He normally has a beautiful white one but for my sake because I cannot be with him as he is sent as an emissary to go to the different congregations that YAH tells us to go all over this world-and he goes and I go with him in spirit-but he wears my prayer shawl that he will be sending to me. And it’s drenched in the Anointing even of this new Prophecy.

Ezra: Amen…

Elisheva: …in the NAME of YAHUSHUA. Thank YOU ABBA YAH. That’s all [I hear].

Ezra: Thank YOU.

Elisheva: So I just want to say Thank YOU ABBA YAHUVEH! Thank YOU BELOVED YAHUSHUA! Thank YOU IMMAYAH! As this Prophecy [63] given in 2002, “O Israel Where is Your Blood Sacrifice” was read, I had not even ever put a voice to it and when our/my beloved son was reading it [earlier], I just felt YAHUSHUA weeping and travailing.

And HE was speaking Words of even why HE shed those tears of BLOOD and I didn’t even know if I had words to be able to speak because the emotion was so great. But I thank YOU for the beloved sons and daughters there that prayed and my beloved, my darling, my love of my life next to ABBA YAH, YAHUSHUA & IMMAYAH-when he prayed in those Holy tongues the Message was able to come forth and of course that’s the Apostle, Prophet Ezra from Israel. And Amen.

The congregation worships and an hour later, YAH speaks forth more…

Elisheva: Ezra?

Ezra: Yes.

Elisheva: I hear a Word coming forth for everybody there. I don’t know how-don’t want to interupt your worship. I don’t know what to do. You want to hear? You want to stir the Anointing up [with the gift of tongues]? What you want, dear? YAHUSHUA has a Word for every one of you.

Ezra: I can’t hear-

Justin: -a Word for everyone.

Ezra: There’s a Word for everyone now?

Elisheva: Yeah, but you have to stand back because you are ruining my paparazzi pictures.

[ Laughter ] Ezra: Oh my goodness. Alright. Okay. Well let’s hear what GOD has to say.

All: Amen.

Elisheva: Alright, you start praying. Wait a minute, let me pray first.

HEAVENLY FATHER-that was such beautiful worship-BELOVED YAHUSHUA. ABBA YAHUVEH, BELOVED YAHUSHUA & PRECIOUS IMMAYAH, we come-we come together in YOUR PRESENCE. We come before YOUR Throne with thanksgiving and praise because YOU said that’s the only way that our prayers are really heard (Ps 95:2; 100:4;1 Th 5:17-18). And we magnify and we worship and we thank and we praise YOU.

Psalm 95:2 Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.

Psalm 100:4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in YAHUSHUA concerning you.

Even the angels, they praise YOU 24 hours a day (see Rv 4:8; Is 6:2-3). YOU say even the rocks will cry out if we don’t praise YOU (Hab 2:11; Lk 19:40, see also Jos 24:27) and we do, for YOU are so worthy to be praised!

Habakkuk 2:11 For the stone shall cry out of the wall, and the beam out of the timber shall answer it.

Luke 19:40 And HE answered and said unto them, I tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out.

As we were worshipping YOU YAHUSHUA, I heard a Word coming forth and I didn’t know how to interupt, how to be able to say it, when the Anointing was so strong on me. So I ask now as Ezra prays, I ask that that Word come forth again to bless YOUR beloved children there, to bless beloved Ezra. I ask this for YOUR Glory ABBA YAHUVEH, YAHUSHUA & PRECIOUS IMMAYAH!

So darling [Ezra], you go ahead and you start praying.

Ezra: Yes. [Prays in Holy tongues] [ Congregation joins, pray in Holy tongues ] [ Holy tongues ] [Elisheva prays in Holy tongues]

Prophecy 132 Part 2 Begins:

Oh! MY beloved, MY beloved, MY beloved MY beloved, MY beloved Bride! Oh how-oh how I take delight in you this day! You lay aside your plans that you could have made! Instead you come and you worship ME! You learn of ME!

And I tell you this.

IMMAYAH is in that praise and that worship (Ps 22:3)! For even as you thought you were just standing there or sitting there, yea I say unto you: ALL of you were before MY Throne! ALL of you and even those who will hear this-if they listen to the worship and the praise as you share this and their hearts are repentant before ME and they are washed clean with MY SHED BLOOD!

Psalm 22:3 But THOU art Holy, O THOU that inhabitest the praises of Israel.

There is not one thing I will withold from you (Ps 84:11), not one petition that you’ve laid before ME (Mt 7:11)-as it lines up with the Will of the FATHER-I will do it unto you and even more exceedingly and abundantly more than you dare dream or ask for (Eph 3:20)!

Psalm 84: 11For YAHUVEH ELOHIM is a SUN & SHIELD: YAHUVEH will give grace and glory: no good thing will HE withhold from them that walk uprightly.

Matthew 7:11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN give good things to them that ask HIM?

Ephesians 3:20 Now unto HIM that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the POWER that worketh in us

This is what happens when you come to ME with worship and praise, with obedient hearts!

You have seen what I have done and quickly what I have done with Elisheva & Ezra! So I say unto you, I’M no respector of persons (Dt 10:17; Acts 10:34; Ro 2:11)! Stay faithful to ME! Keep your eyes focused on ME! For I desire to bless you! And I will bless you! And exceedingly and abundantly more than you dare dream or ask for!

Deuteronomy 10:17 For YAHUVEH your God is GOD OF GODS & LORD OF LORDS, A GREAT GOD, A MIGHTY, AND A TERRIBLE, which regardeth not persons, nor taketh reward:

Acts 10:34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that GOD is no respecter of persons

Romans 2:11 For there is no respect of persons with GOD.

Do you know your worship this day as you lift your voices to ME-you didn’t just lift your voices-you lift your hearts, you lifted your souls! And the Holy angels and the cloud of witnesses were worshipping with you!

So for those with ears that will hear this that are not there, you do the same thing. And I promise you this. You will be Here before the Throne! Even though your bodies are on earth, there’s one layer of your spirit and soul that can also be, at the same time before the Thrones in Heaven! Before your ABBA YAHUVEH! Before I, YAHUSHUA! And yes, even before IMMAYAH!

This is the blessing that I have for you! Take your petitions-and bring them to ME even now as I speak. In secret, give them to ME but remember to say, “As it goes along with ABBA YAH’S way.” Give it to ME. Give it to ME. And this includes ALL your burdens (Ps 55:22; 1 Pt 5:6-7). Give it to ME and watch and see what I will do.

Psalm 55:22 Cast thy burden upon YAHUVEH, and HE shall sustain thee: HE shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the Mighty Hand of GOD, that HE may exalt you in due time: 7 Casting all your care upon HIM; for HE careth for you.

For this honor of worship-and your hearts of worship and your souls that worship-has been a blessing unto ME! This is why I stopped this music and I just want to say how much I love you, how much I desire to be with you! And it really will be soon!

Oh Bride of YAHUSHUA hear ME! I’ve longed for you! I’ve panted for you! I’ve grieved for you! I’ve cried for you! As Elisheva has been set free, so too, has the Bride of YAHUSHUA-if they will but receive!

Come away from being unequally yoked (Dt 7:3-4)! What does a goat and a sheep have in common (Dt 22:10; Mt 25:32-33)?

Deuteronomy 7: 3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. 4 For they will turn away thy son from following ME, that they may serve other gods: so will the Anger of YAHUVEH be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.

22:10 Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass [donkey] together [i.e. don’t yoke them together].

Matthew 25: 32 And before HIM shall be gathered all nations: and HE shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: 33 And HE shall set the sheep on HIS Right Hand, but the goats on the left.

Does not MY Word say, “Be not unequally yoked” (2 Cor 6:14). Oh MY beloved children as you bless ME, now I YAHUSHUA bless you!

2 Corinthians 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Elisheva: [Tongues] And beloved Ezra, I had a vision of you when you stood there with that Rod. My darling, my dearest-the love of my life next to ABBA YAHUVEH, YAHUSHUA & IMMAYAH-I saw you as Moshe leading the Children of Israel. I saw you.

Prophecy Continues:

And as all of you stood there, you were following. And I tell you this. The Israel, the Holy that will rise up-those that have known that sin has been condoned-they will no longer stay silent when they hear this Prophecy that came forth earlier.

{Elisheva: For YAH is saying,}

HE’S going to use this [AmightyWind] Ministry and the two Anointings of the spirit of Eliyahu & Moshe together to lead Israel into repentance (see Ez 37)! For that is the only way Israel shall be saved (see Zc 7-14; Jr 30; Mi 5:5-6; Ro 11:1, 11-12; Rv 7-19)!

And it’s gonna take a strong leader

, one who will refuse to compromise for the sake of a political career! He will have more fear for his soul!

And just like unto a Judge Roy Moore despite the consequences, despite the persecutions and accusations, the leader in Israel-YAHUVEH crys out to him now in the NAME of YAHUSHUA-you know right from wrong! What is the price of your soul (Mt 16:26)? For the Holy and the redeemed will rise up in Israel! And they are looking for a leader who will not compromise!

Matthew 16: 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

And “YAHUSHUA’S demon stompers” as you’ve been commanded to pray for Donald Trump now too, I YAHUVEH say, you pray for that leader in Israel to come forth! To get back to the standard of Holiness!

They speak it in the Torah! They know the Torah Laws! They recite the Ten Commandments! [Elisheva:] Now YAHUSHUA says…I’M waiting for them to obey them! And no more compromise! Oh Israel!

Elisheva: Again, I hear YAHUSHUA say,

Prophecy Continues:

I love you. And I desire for you once again. Stand for Holiness! And one day you will be that “‘Holy’ Land.” For I’M going to rule and reign from Israel (Ps 2:6-12; Ps 110:1-2; Is 9:6-7; Jr 23:5; Ez 43:7; Dn 7:13-14; Zc 6:12-13; 14:4; Lk 1:32-33; Rv 19:15-16; also see Jr 33:6-18 etc.)!

Psalm 2:6-12

6 Yet have I set MY KING upon MY Holy Hill of Zion. 7 I will declare the decree:

YAHUVEH hath said unto me, THOU art MY SON; this day have I begotten thee. 8 Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession. 9 THOU shalt break them with a rod of iron; THOU shalt dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel.

10 Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth. 11 Serve YAHUVEH with fear, and rejoice with trembling.

12 Kiss the SON, lest HE be angry, and ye perish from the way, when HIS Wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in HIM.

Psalm 110:1-6

1 YAHUVEH said unto MY LORD [ADONI], Sit thou at MY Right Hand, until I make THINE enemies THY footstool. 2 YAHUVEH shall send the Rod of THY Strength out of Zion: rule THOU in the midst of THINE enemies.

3 THY people shall be willing in the Day of THY Power, in the beauties of holiness from the Womb of the morning: THOU hast the dew of THY youth.

4 YAHUVEH hath sworn, and will not repent, THOU art a PRIEST for ever after the order of Melchizedek. 5 YAHUVEH at THY Right Hand shall strike through kings in the Day of HIS Wrath.

6 HE shall judge among the heathen, HE shall fill the places with the dead bodies; HE shall wound the heads over many countries. 7 HE shall drink of the brook in the way: therefore shall HE lift up the head.

Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a CHILD is born, unto us a SON is given: and the government shall be upon HIS Shoulder: and HIS NAME shall be called WONDERFUL, COUNSELLOR, THE MIGHTY GOD, THE EVERLASTING FATHER, THE PRINCE OF PEACE. 7 Of the increase of HIS Government and Peace there shall be no end, upon the Throne of David, and upon HIS Kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of YAHUVEH OF HOSTS will perform this.

Jeremiah 23:5 Behold, the days come, saith YAHUVEH, that I will raise unto David a RIGHTEOUS BRANCH, and a KING shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judgment and justice in the earth.

Ezekiel 43:7 And he said unto me, son of man, the place of MY Throne, and the place of the soles of MY Feet, where I will dwell in the midst of the children of Israel for ever, and MY HOLY NAME, shall the house of Israel no more defile, neither they, nor their kings, by their whoredom, nor by the carcases of their kings in their high places.

Daniel 7:13 I saw in the night visions, and, behold, ONE LIKE THE SON OF MAN [i.e. the MESSIAH appearing as a human] came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the ANCIENT OF DAYS, and they brought HIM near before HIM. 14 And there was given HIM dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve HIM: HIS dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and HIS kingdom that which shall not be destroyed.

Zechariah 6:12 And speak unto him, saying, Thus speaketh YAHUVEH OF HOSTS, saying, Behold the MAN whose NAME is THE BRANCH; and he shall grow up out of HIS place, and HE shall build the Temple of YAHUVEH: 13 Even he shall build the Temple of YAHUVEH; and HE shall bear the glory, and shall sit and rule upon HIS Throne; and HE shall be a PRIEST upon HIS Throne: and the counsel of peace shall be between THEM both.

Zechariah 14:4 And HIS Feet shall stand in that Day upon the Mount of Olives, which is before Jerusalem on the east, and the mount of Olives shall cleave in the midst thereof toward the east and toward the west, and there shall be a very great valley; and half of the mountain shall remove toward the north, and half of it toward the south.

Luke 1:32 HE shall be great, and shall be called the SON OF THE HIGHEST: and YAHUVEH ELOHIM shall give unto HIM the Throne of HIS father David: 33 And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of HIS kingdom there shall be no end.

Revelation 19: 15 And out of HIS Mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the Winepress of the fierceness and wrath of ALMIGHTY GOD. 16 And HE hath on HIS Vesture and on HIS Thigh a NAME WRITTEN, KING OF KINGS & LORD OF LORDS.

So this is what happens when you come before ME with worship and praise! Again for the second time, I’ve given this Prophecy to MY Ringmaiden, MY Elisheva. For you stirred the Anointing up. It’s all because of your worship and your love!

End of Word.

Elisheva: I’m looking at the monitor right now [Footage lost] and I don’t know if somebody turned the light on and what’s going on, but ALL of you-there is such a light that I see! I don’t know if it’s in the spiritual realm-I don’t know if I’m [physically] seeing it? Somebody turn a light on or something over there?

Ezra: No, no, no.

James: I see it too.

Ezra: Has sombody turned something…a light on?

Kim: No, no Mom.

Elisheva: Ezra?

Ezra: No, nobody did.

Elisheva: I have no sound. If you’re talking to me, there’s no sound. Did somebody turn a light on over there?

Others: No.

Elisheva: Well all of you-I must be seeing … maybe I’m seeing in the spiritual realm, but you have such a light in that room that wasn’t there before! SHKINYAH GLORY LIGHT is all over each one of you in the NAME of YAHUSHUA!

Ezra: HalleluYAH! HalleluYAH!

Elisheva: Alright darling! That’s all I hear!

Ezra: Thank YOU! Thank YOU, thank YOU HEAVENLY FATHER! Thank YOU YAHUSHUA! Thank YOU IMMAYAH for this wonderful Word that YOU have [spoken]-that came forth through my beloved Elisheva. We thank YOU. We’re so grateful and thankful for YOU ABBA YAHUVEH! We always will worship YOU all the rest of our life. And everybody say …

All: Amen!

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