#or anyone irl really
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not to be dramatic but im genuinely so lonely and its breaking my heart
#i keep having dreams where i have really cool friends who like me and who like the same interests as me#and then i wake up and it isnt true. it is killing me#i wish i felt like i related to anyone anyone at all but i just dont#sometimes i meet people online who are cool but it isnt the same#as having someone in real life who youre close to#and honestly im not close enough to anyone online to consider them dear friends. i refuse to allow myself to be close to people online#or anyone irl really#im just so lonely i feel like my soul is breaking#sorry for the vent im feeling lots of things tonight
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This wine tastes like pigs blood!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jin zixun#wei wuxian#su she#(Su She needs to have his carrie moment before he can have his Carrie Moment.#Which means he needs to exist as a punching bag before he can hit 'em with the rebound).#My first draft of this comic had WWX slurping LWJ's wine per actual scene canon#As it really is a great scene of how WWX is willing to absorb the scandal and harm that befalls others.#It had a lot less to do with it being LWJ and more so that WWX just happens to be the kind of person who refuses to turn a blind eye.#It could have been any Lan who was being pressured (inappropriately) to drink (do not pressure anyone to drink irl PLEASE).#Because this is a romance plot it of course *is* LWJ. But don't forget that in this moment they aren't on great terms.#It's not a knight in shining armor moment - it's a 'you were being treated unjustly and I have the power to absolve you from that.'#And as we are very soon about to see - WWX certainly cannot turn away from those who need aid he can provide.#And like Jin Guangyao; that kindness is also his downfall.#By the way - that you all for the amazing community commentary on the last comic. I really loved reading everyone's thoughts!#Suyao shippers...I get it now. You had me at 'wen ning and WWX parallels'. I'll be back with a treat for you soon.#And yes 'everyone' does include the ironically named tumblr user jin zixun.#Who blocked me right before the character makes his pd-mdzs debut.#I hope you are well. You seem like you were having a real bad time yesterday.
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Thanks to artfight, I’ve finally finished a detailed, official dbhc cub reference! :D
(I’ve put his Artifight description below the cut, which has a more detailed explanation of his timeline, lore, and aesthetics! >:3)
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ OVERVIEW ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
Name: C.B.F.N.4000 (Cub) Pronouns: He/Him Species: Android Height: 5’9’’ Associated Visual Themes: vex, ghosts, explosions, mischief, scientist aesthetic, potions, potionmaking, sleepy/tired aesthetic, conspiracies
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ ABOUT ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
CBFN4000 is an au version of MCYT Hermitcraft’s Cubfan, set in my DBHC (or Detroit Become Hermitcraft) AU! This au is inspired by the 2018 game Detroit Become Human, but not because it really has anything to do with DBH—I simply yoinked the android mechanics and incorporated them into the world of Hermitcraft. It began as a S8 au, and has roughly followed the hermitcraft timeline up to the present!
Cub was the last android made during Season 8. While many of the hermit androids were made at the beginning of season 8 and a few were made for season 9, Cub was finished and activated mid-late Season 8, around the time when Hermits started noticing the Big Moon. Cub’s model ended up being a sloppy experiment in deviation, as Doc suggested they try to transfer deviancy to an android upon activation to try and avoid traumatic situations that might cause an android to deviate violently or upsettingly, such as Etho’s, Tango’s, or Mumbo’s experiences. While this went relatively well initially, it clearly wasn’t very thoroughly thought out, as Xisuma (who is normally so adamant and detail-oriented when it comes to assuring the androids’ safety with experiments like this) wasn’t truly himself due to external manipulation and mostly left a relatively young-deviant Doc to carry out the project himself.
Cub, though adjusting to sentience rather well at first, very quickly became wrapped up in the Big Moon happenings on the server, new personality and inexperience to emotions like fear and ignorance completely overwhelming his young system. He became obsessive over the implications and consequences of the Season 8 Moon Apocalypse, joining the Mooners and spreading his conspiracy theories religiously throughout the server as he descended into madness. The insanity was like a virus to his programming, pervasive and all-engulfing, and Cub’s final attempt to free himself from the Moon’s impact with the Earth—to launch himself on a llama into space via potion-powered TNT(insane btw)— left his hands and feet singed and cracked to ruin.
The experiment, considered a horrific failure by a deeply shameful—and more awake—S9 Xisuma, left Doc and Xisuma with the decision to reset him for the new season, and they ended up pairing him with a hermit like they had done with the other androids until they had found deviancy enough to pursue their own projects. So, at the start of season 9 and fresh after a reset, Cub was paired with Scar. Naturally, because Scar is… Scar, Cub deviated almost instantly after being given to him, and very quickly adopted the iconic lazy, stoic, amused attributes normally associated with Cubfan. Scar’s tendency towards mischief and general shenanigans grew instantly on Cub, and the two were an immediate inseparable pair. So much so that when Scar began rambling one day about his Season 5 Hermitcraft Shenanigans (where deals with the Vex may or may not have been involved), Cub immediately stated he was interested in being in on it. Whatever “it” means. It’s unclear if Cub also made a deal with the vex or became connected to them in some other way, but… well, he got Doc’s help to trick out his eyes, hair, and back to best fit the part. Scar is very jealous that he can't magically make himself have the same features to match.
Cub is closest with Scar, but he gets along just as well with any of the other hermits! He’s close with Jevin and many of the other redstoners like Etho and Doc, who are the other two androids I’ve put on artfight!
-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ EXTRAS ❁ ༺ ˎˊ-
Cub's eyes can light up in the dark, and he’s the only android who has edited his programming so that the default state of his LED is white, not blue. It still will go yellow and red if his processors are working particularly hard, but he’s replaced the blue setting on his LED with white to better match the Vex vibe. Cub has all of the vibes of a fae. If that’s anything <3
#dbhc#dbhc art#dbhc ref#dbhc cub#cubfan#hermitcraft#cubfan135#hermitcraft au#art escapades#writing everything out in a really succinct/condense way is actually really helpful#I might add Etho and Doc’s artfight descriptions to their own reference pages actually#just because it’s really helpful to have all of the lore in one place LOL#I always wrap up these ideas in my head and save them for when I can make art to reveal the plot dramatically yknow#but for characters that aren’t really my priority right now it’s kind of nice to just get the info down#especially for the people who ask about specific characters a lot#SO ANYWAY#I ramble#if anyone has any opinions on this method of relaying dbhc lore feel free to lmk!#there will obviously be things that I keep hidden :3#Bc sometimes art reveals are the best >:3#but for stuff I might not get to in a while…. yeah#I don’t mind it#ALSO#HILARIOUS TO ME THAT freshly awoken cub reminds me a lot of IRL cub LMAO
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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.
#bpd#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#actually borderline#bpd splitting#lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too#haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days#irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really#I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection#like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person#then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually
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S: "I was promised a makeout with tongue if we won, Kimi, so give me some!" K: "Bwoah!"
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Well I'm super tired, but I can now put this poll behind me! Thank you to everyone who voted Simi 💪 We got into it never really intending to win, but rather to shove Simi all over your faces... but we ended up with the best prize: Simi ressurgence and a bunch of new shippers!
#simi#f1 fanart#I think if I ever come across either of them irl I might not even be able to look them in the eye#this is probably full of mistakes but I really am about to pass out so please turn a blind eye to them#but see? this electoral promise was fufilled! Simi does deliver!#never doing this again - if anyone asks lets smugly say we wanted to give other pairings a chance#won once; don't have anything else to prove
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DHMIS doodle pages that I managed to cut and paste together and color! I personally like them a lot haha.
2nd doodle page is sorta inspired by @mariaisshiki ‘s piggyback trio drawings.
B/c it reminded me of the time I tried to carry my baby cousin on my back and I am SO short that even though I got her body off the ground,both her feet were still firmly on the floor. That memory was so horrific I had to project it onto the smallest one.
#dhmis#dhmis duck#dhmis yellow guy#dhmis red guy#dont hug me im scared#i really think he'd try it lol. he would be indignant at the idea that he couldnt#like HEY. I AM NOT WEAK AND IM ALSO A GREAT FATHER FIGURE I COULD CARRY HIS YELLOW ASS FOR MILES ILL SHOW YOU ALL RIGHT NOW#then it would just be. the saddest thing anyone has ever seen.#which is what it was exactly when it happened irl to me amen#top ones just a doodle page that i liked a lot honestly looool#there was a comic in there too but um. i made a lengthy sequel to it it got away from me real fast man. you guys will see soon lol#me art#my dhmis postings
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A typical example of a kulimane hunting dog, a prized animal in Imperial Wardin. They represent the most positive feelings towards dogs in this cultural sphere, an animal that otherwise has an often ambiguous or even disdained status.
Kulimane are the 'hybrid' offspring of domesticated sighthound breeds and the kuliku (colloquially called 'salt wolves'). Kuliku are not actual wolves, but rather the feral descendants of VERY ancient domesticated dogs that have been living wild for millennia in grassland, savannahs, and semi-desert, and are fully functional and efficient predators. Kuliku have slender builds, huge lungs, and long legs, and use bursts of tremendous speed to chase down prey. They mostly take small game, like rabbits, hares, birds, and hippegalga, though pairs are capable of bringing down mid-sized ungulates. They do not readily mate with fully domesticated dogs, but can be encouraged to do so in captivity, thus producing the kulimane.
The production of kulimane was introduced by the third Burri empire and has been fully adopted into contemporary Imperial Wardin. Kulimane are commonly seen as the best and most ideal of hunting dogs, combining the speed, power, and heat resistance and predatory instincts of their wild parents, and the loyalty and tameness, and other bred-in qualities of their sighthound parents. In practice, most Kulimane used in hunting will have been the product of several generations of breeding to produce an ideal animal (initial 'hybrid' generations are often still too wild). Their appearance can vary wildly, but the ideal form for a kulimane is to have a domestic-type coat (fully solid colors are preferred, but rare) and to retain the pointed ears and black tail tip of their wild ancestors.
Most kulimane are independent, intelligent animals that will form close and protective bonds with their handlers, but will be shy and wary of strangers. They usually retain strong territorial instincts from their wild ancestors, and can double as excellent guard dogs. Their disposition towards other dogs can vary- a well socialized kulimane can usually be introduced to new dogs with few issues, but some have striking tendencies to aggression towards strange dogs, and are often muzzled in public. Most are kept in same-sex sibling pairs, and away from unfamiliar or unrelated dogs. They are rarely outright cuddly, often preferring to sit at a distance than to sit on one's lap, but are appreciative of praise and affection from their owners.
Well trained kulimane make for truly excellent sighthounds. They can quickly adapt to changing situations in the field with little to no input from handlers, and quickly and instinctively dispatch most small prey. Their high prey drives Can be a problem for owners. They are frequently known to kill livestock and sacrificial stock, and have a tendency towards surplus killing. You don't want a kulimane to get in with your poultry.
Good kulimane stock is very difficult to produce and takes several generations of breeding, and the animals can be very costly to maintain and keep in good hunting conditions. As such they are VERY expensive animals, and function as status symbols. Sighthounds in of themselves have associations with wealth, and kulimane are specifically associated with royalty and the social elite. They represent the most venerated and beloved end of a very, very wide spectrum of cultural opinions towards dogs in the Imperial Wardi sphere.
The status of dogs in the cultural schema mostly depends on their perceived role. Working dogs tend to have positive cultural connotations- guard dogs and especially hunting dogs are seen as noble animals and symbols of loyalty, and herding and livestock guardian dogs are of great practical value in the rural sphere. Keeping dogs for pure companionship is fairly uncommon, though there are a few established companion breeds in the region. The practice of raising livestock dog breeds has decreased or become obsolete in parts of the region, largely due to Burri influence (which regards the meat of predators and scavengers as wholly unsuitable for consumption), but meat specific breeds like the salutachin are still valued in the city-state of Wardin as providers of an excellent, delicacy meat. The commonality between all valued dogs in Imperial Wardin is their utility, well-established roles, and sharp distinction from feral dogs.
Feral dogs are a fact of life around most settlements. Imperial Wardi cultural outlooks on them tend to be highly negative, characterizing these as uniquely greedy, cowardly, lowly pest animals at best and depraved corpse eaters at worst. Exact attitudes vary throughout the Imperial Wardi cultural sphere, but one near-ubiquitous element is regarding the excrement of feral dogs (and corpses of feral dogs) as potent sources of spiritual pollution that should never be touched with bare skin, and should ideally be removed and buried in barren ground (or their polluting influence should at least be mitigated with a blessing of the tainted location). Superstition holds that stepping in the feces of feral dogs can inflict curses, and the word for 'dogshit' is one of the most insulting terms available in the language.
Hatred of feral dogs is particularly acute in the city-state of Godsmouth. The core city experienced a collective cultural trauma as a result of a siege during the formation of the Wardi empire, in which civilians starved en-masse and descriptions of bodies being eaten in the streets by feral dogs (which were, in turn, eaten by starving civilians) dominate historical records of the event. Feral dogs are by and large hated in this part of the region and seen as outright vile animals and acute sources of spiritual pollution via their very presence. They are actively culled on a routine basis. The outskirts of the city of Godsmouth and some of the city-state's towns have unique practices of allowing semi-tame hyenas free movement through settlements, where they fulfill the dogs' function as refuse cleaners and keep dog populations in check.
While the keeping of feral dogs is generally frowned upon throughout the region, individuals caring for their local feral populations or adopting feral puppies is not unknown, and the distinction between feral and kept dogs (and stigma towards the former) is MUCH less pronounced in many rural communities, where semi-feral dogs may be valued as likable or useful village animals.
No dog breeds are standardized (or even technically 'breeds' in any modern sense), but there is usually great effort to keep working, livestock, and companion dog stocks wholly separate from feral dogs. The word that roughly means ‘mutt’ in this language does not refer to mixed dog breeds as a whole (or even crosses between different types of working dog), but specifically crosses between kept breeds and feral dogs, which is generally regarded as unfavorable (though not uncommon, both due to inevitability in a world without spaying, and practicality- these crosses may produce perfectly good working or companion dogs, and introduction of feral stock reduces inbreeding).
The dog is one of the constellations in the Wardi zodiac, found at the heel of the Hunter constellation and variously interpreted as either being a noble hunting dog trailing its master, or a lowly scavenger looking for scraps. The latter characterization tends to win out in terms of the characterization of its associated birthsign. Being born under the sign of the dog is mostly regarded as inauspicious, and a potential indication of a cowardly, stupid, lustful, and greedy character (though some positive qualities are ascribed, chiefly loyalty).
‘Chinops’ (literally ‘dog-born’) refers neutrally to the dog birth sign, while ‘chinmachen’ (‘dog-faced’) is an epithet given to those considered to have the associated personality traits, which is rarely anything BUT an insult. (These also spawn the purely derogatory phrases of ‘chisnops’, ‘chismachen’, and ‘chismache’, which have functional meanings closest to ‘son of a bitch’ ‘bitch/slut’ and ‘cunt’ respectively)
#GET EXCITED:::: DOG PARAGRAPHS#That linked post is a little outdated but the info is broadly still correct.#The domestication of dogs in this setting was a MUCH more ancient event than irl and their spread has produced#dog populations that are fully naturalized predators and can't really be considered feral on anything more than a technicality.#Janeys and Faiza each own a pair of kulimane. Janeys doesn't even like them but keeps them anyway for hunting.#Faiza IS fond of dogs and has an affinity for even feral dogs (which would be considered unusual but is sometimes interpreted as#having an exceptionally charitable nature- ie you care even for the lowest of the low of beasts)#This is a tangent but the 'mane' in Haidamane is the same root as in kulimane.#Haidamane is a Titen surname and 'mane' is a word in the Burri language (used in Bur/Titen/Kosov)#'-mane' is used to describe things that pertain to 'noble' hunting so will be used in words for appreciated predatory animals and#hunting breeds and is used in the name of a Burri hunting deity. It's not specific to this dog.#Also in case anyone is reading 'mane' as like 'a horse's mane' it's supposed to be pronounced 'mah-ney'. Like 'high- deh- mah - ney'#creatures#imperial wardin
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I know The Founders Cut, generally, is the edited scrubbed over version of genloss from Showfall in-universe (as well as a not-8-hour-long-three-stream-binge-night whenever we want to watch it again) but something that struck me as odd and I haven’t seen anyone mention yet, is this warning
It shows up right at the junction where the third act starts, where it appears the Hero is breaking free of Showfall thanks to Hetch. But here’s the thing, while a LOT less than the previous acts the audience still played a significant role in this act, even when really only given two audience interaction choices. Which makes me wonder, how real is this warning, and who is it for? Obviously the audience involved knows what happens past this point, but the audience is also implied to be an integral part of the Social Experiments, which is part of why things start to tweak out when the Founder removes them in the Founder Cut as the Generation Loss generation loses.
My first thought, was that obviously this is another bait and switch, a way to draw the audiences attention, seeing something that’s secret, something that’s not “meant for them”, which is a tactic I could see Showfall using in universe to keep people’s attention and add an air of mystery to their shows.
But
Showfall is doing all their experiments and these shows with a LOT of help from their censors to show it off, displaying a fun silly show that is definitely not uber fucked up and that is 100% just slime don’t worry about it, it’s kid friendly if it’s green! And I don’t think they’d want to bet all their cards on this one experiment doing well enough to their audience to not question the sudden shift in tone that follows this warning. Which makes me wonder.
They did their test, they did their experiment, and the evidence of this last act? I think it was a one time run, they don’t want anyone seeing this, it isn’t for the audience. Act three is specifically to both test and play with their Hero, Hetch’s new lines add a level to this, never once does he call the Hero by their name, just refers to Ranboo as their Role, and he’s not exactly. Nice? About literally any of Ranboos concerns, which wouldn’t really seem conductive to making an audience trust him, especially with his monologue at the end. Ranboo has escaped before, possibly right before act 1 started, they tightened the security on his mask to be unremovably part of them, Hetch doesn’t like the Hero but they’re a fan favorite so he can’t just get rid of them.
Act three is the cumulation of Ranboo being punished for things they don’t remember, for daring to break free from Showfalls control, this is Hetch taking the Hero and essentially majorly fucking and manipulating them to take his frustration out on a fan favorite they can’t otherwise get rid of or give a smaller role like Slimecicle. which is exemplified by the fact that we now know Charlie most likely was never able to actually able to fully snap out of the control, that even in act three in panic and confusion there was at least still a part of him being influenced by Showfall.
So the first two acts are the usual show, they have their posters, they have Squiggles to introduce them, they have goofs and silliness and only a couple slip ups that’re quickly dealt with, the usual rose tinted curtains. Act three?
Do not watch the following material
#or Showfalls just bein silly goofy and pretending they’re letting us in on a secret that isn’t one and playing off the reveal of#what they’re up to as just another plot of a show and hey that isn’t real don’t worry it#but I also think Hetch is really truly throwing Ranboo around like a ragdoll for more than just audience entertainment during act three#I think it could tie in to Chronicle Zero though. if Zeros dreams are connected to what happened to Ranboo then she knows something#Showfall would have a vested interest in her. not in fact. knowing that#and maybe trying to make her not know about any it anymore in a very Showfall kinda way#I’m less versed in what’s going on with Chronicle Zero tbh but I’m tryin. I fuckin love Gen loss#robot rambles#generation loss#genloss#Ranboo#I’m doin the thing where I ramble but it’s my blog I do what I want here#and I’m having hard life stuff happen irl rn so I’m clinging to genloss because it brings me joy and the timing of the FC was super helpful#also if anyone was curious I think Hetch is a bitch but I do acknowledge the possibility of him also being controlled#and I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him#but that’s stuff for not-in-this-post lmao#I had a theory tag at some point but imma be so fr I Do Not Remember what it was
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I don’t know how to explain any more clearly that it doesn’t MATTER if it seems legitimate to you. You have got to fact check every single headline and post and claim on the left just like you need to do on the right.
The left is NOT immune to misinformation and rushed reporting. And the more emotionally polarizing or shocking the talking points, sound bytes, and headlines are, the worse it is and more frequently it happens.
Learn to verify through multiple independent sources. If you can’t do that, you can’t trust it.
If you have to wait extra hours for the real information to come through vetted channels—NOT just one individual somewhere everyone links to, and not just one single media source either, EVEN if it’s a major news network—thats just how it has to be. What news outside of genuine local disasters near you TRULY needs your outrage and post-sharing in the next hour specifically?
Misinformation works best by not seeming like misinformation and by fitting in with the rest of what you already expect to see. It doesn’t help anyone to not be able to recognize and avoid the stuff.
#hey little star whatcha gonna queue?#and before I get any angry anons saying I’m making the argument that both sides are the same#I am not. and nowhere did I say that#and if your immediate reaction to any amount of criticism of leftist spaces or communication#is knee jerk outrage and defensiveness#this is an invitation to explore why that is for you.#this isn’t about anyone on here this is from conversations I’ve had with a few people IRL who have shared leftist misinformation a lot#so if you’re feeling attacked by this post and I haven’t directly spoken to you multiple times about misinformation with you responding bac#this isn’t. a vague post. about you. okay?#I cannot reiterate enough THIS IS AFTER IRL INTERACTIONS NOT A CAL OUT VAGUEPOST#and as one final note. IF YOU FOLLOW PEOPLE. WHO CONSTANTLY USE. THE MOST INFLAMMATORY WORDING CHOICES POSSIBLE.#YOU SHOULD NOT FOLLOW THOSE PEOPLE NO MATTER WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT.#no one communicating in true good faith to ALL PEOPLE about facts uses loaded language more than occasionally#the sooner you learn that the better. and that really starts narrowing down the pool of who you want to actually listen to (while still#verifying anything they tell you)#get higher standards!!!! and read some books or watch lectures about actual effective communication to broad groups without using tribalism#and also. anyone on the left trying to convince you of massive efforts and conspiracies that are anti everything#is also wrong 99% of the time and not a good source to listen to#never EVER assume conspiracy when it can be more simply explained through either#ignorance obliviousness incompetence financial greed or misunderstandings#the end. I’m really done this time. I’m just sick of seeing so many people fall prey to this#shh katie#cult escapee#politics and current events#don’t get swept up in the constant tsunami of performative online activism#election 2024#world events
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list of haikyuu character with actual real world jobs
-oikawa (accepted player for san juan Argentina )
-hinata (accepted player for sesi san paulo + japanese tourism ambassador for sendai japan)
-kageyama (japanese tourism ambassador for sendai japan)
-kuroo (appointed as special chief of japan's volleyball association's PR department)
#irl volleyball just loves using haikyuu as promotion for the sport and i love it#cuz thats really what haikyuu is all about getting people to play volleyball#and if the silly little anime men make people pay attention to irl volleyball then it has served its purpose#who do yall think will get a real job next#also if i missed anyone let me know#or if i got any facts wrong#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq#hinata shouyou#kageyama tobio#oikawa tooru#kuroo tetsurou#**I forgot to add but hinata has actually been a tourism icon twice but the first time it was as hina bird so i didnt include it#Idk about kageyama tho#I also forgot to put that sesi san paulo is a brazilian team oopsie#Figure it out man
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"why are you so upset about dead boy detectives being cancelled? it's just a tv show"
no. no it's not, shut the FUCK up right now. Alright, listen up and listen good because you best believe I will be screaming about this show for the rest of my breathing days.
You don't get to tell me to not be upset over this because guess what? I'm upset. I'm upset as all hell. Because this? This has sadly become the new normal for us. It's become the new normal for well-written shows with good plots, amazing characters, intriguing ideas, for those shows to be cancelled. It's the new normal for us to be weary about good shows because guess what? We're afraid of committing to shows because we're afraid of our hopes being shattered.
And guess what, they just. Got. Fucking. Shattered.
And oh my god, i am tired. Okay? I'm so tired of loving a show to bits only to come back to see that it's been cancelled because streaming services love the feeling of choking on capitalism's dick. I'm tired of waking up eager and prepared only to be heartbroken hearing about another promising show that will now NEVER get the recognition and love it deserves. I'm tired of having to fucking settle for mediocre shows with such mid-ranged value. I'm tired of the 17 kissing booth sequels and 20 emily in paris seasons. I'm so so fucking tired.
It breaks my heart left right and center seeing that we're not the only ones affected. The actors, the writers, everyone who actually DID THE BLOODY WORK, they get their joy STRIPPED AWAY FROM THEM because streaming services can't give a rat's ass about them. What, don't they deserve some closure? Don't they have feelings? Do they not feel a connection to their projects? To their characters?
My heart breaks for all of them. For Jayden, for Yuyu, for Lukas, for Briana, for Ruth, for Kassius and for George. For everyone involved in this show, they didn't get their happy ending.
And now we'll never get it either.
And I'm tired of having to explain this to people over and over again. And I'm sorry that your life is so fucking dull that you don't feel connected to shows that make you feel seen but that's not the case with everyone.
So no, it's not "just a tv show", alright? And don't you dare dismiss an entire community like that just because you don't feel joy in your life. Don't you dare diminish my feelings because you don't get that right. You don't get to have a single say about what I feel. Fuck you and your sad little life.
And fuck you netflix. Hope you're fucking happy.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#save dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#sorry for the anger lol#someone actually said this to me irl and i had to hold myself back#the amount of self-restraint i showed was award worthy ngl#yeah i think i've let it all out now#i know my original post was really nostalgic and sappy#and i told myself i wasn't going to angry rant#but my god people know how to push my buttons#if anyone ever says something like this to me again im knocking their lights out
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04.11.24 (SEA vs SJS): a very tired JOEY DACCORD accepts his three stars of the year & fan-favorite awards at the end of the last home game of the season
#kraken lb#joey daccord#seattle kraken#krakenblr#krakenedit#hockeyedit#hockeyblr#nhl#nhledit#ice hockey#my stuff#my gifs#my hockey gifs#i'm so so sad we lost this one. utterly painful to watch#i hate seeing joey sad#but i'm really proud of him#he absolutely has earned all of the recognition he's got 100 times over#my love for hockey started with seeing him play in cv & he means so so much to me. so much.#i just hope he knows how much ppl adore him both up there and down with the birds bc he is so so loved. he's done amazing#wow! if anyone irl read what i say in these tags they'd think i was a homeofseckshual! (i am) anyway goodnight#bwehhhhhhh.#wehhhhhh
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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I kinda popped off with these ngl
+ Explanations
I think I've talked about Fernando's before on here but. I really miss when he had the black fireproofs bcs it just made hom feel so much more intimidating/larger-than-life to me. The way he prowled around the paddock, just very big cat to me! Though I once told my mom this and she said, "more like a bobcat, he's so small." 😭
Seb is a fennec fox because...idk why it just suits him. He is both kitty and puppy, so I think foxes in general suit him bcs they're described as, "just cat software running on dog hardware." And fennec foxes are blondies too! The way they make little laughing noises, and also the way their ears/tails are way too big for their body also remind me of him.
Jense has always and will always be a wolf to me bcs his wolfish smile. He's just got that big, bad wolf vibe. He wants to snap you up! On the whole dog-cat scale, to me he just feels like neither really suits him. Wolves are so noble to me!!
Mark is dog boy, what else needs to be said!? Though there is something to be said about how the rest of them are wdcs and are wild animals, and he's.... domesticated. Something something wild animals seen as more noble and impressive- He really is just whatever dog breed he has irl, they are his comrades.
#though if this was actually by irl size...#fernando would be one of those black footed cats LOL#<- mostly just cause its probably around the size of a fennec fox#mark would be a great dane or some other huge dog breed#BUT however who cares abt that mine are fitting enough :]#<- (it just sometimes haunts me that my animal based ocs arent really 'size accurate')#also the whole thing i said in this post about wild animals vs domesticated ones is just a thing from my ocs sry 😭😭#just the idea that domesticated animals are kinda mundane in comparison to the nobility of the natural hierarchy#if that even makes sense to anyone but me#cause theyre wdcs its like ohhhh wow theyre so wild and untamed!! truly their own creatures!!!#mark is. simply. dogboy.#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#mark webber#jenson button
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I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.
Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.
I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.
#like even I forget that all actions taken in the game were people trying to remain in protocol outside of Jimmy#Anya couldn’t have jus stolen the scanner and got the gun cause she’s a sensible person and knows she’d be in legal trouble#or get everyone’s credits docked or just hoping that there’s some chain of command for this sort of thing#Daisuke only really acted in accordance to his direct superiors because he’s an intern he wouldn’t know the first thing about protocol or#what to do in any situation. like this is essentially implied to be his first real job#Curly may be the captain but he still has to follow rules and procedures and we see with the letter the Pony Express likely has very shady#and shitty ones. he gives the best not depressing or totalitarian options he can otherwise everything is just his word which aren’t even his#or like him just asserting his position with the gun which he wouldn’t do#Swansea follows the book begrudgingly because he’s trying to stay right and not fall back into who he once was#I feel like it’s not incorporated nearly enough that the environment they were dropped into heavily affected their actions#say there was a single person higher than Curly or a plan of action when a crew member is considered a danger to himself or others#I think it’s fascinating how people will stick to protocol and break when they get scared or to their limit#cause the game shows how normalcy deteriorates and I think discounting what the characters where put through by the company takes a way a#real and scary aspect of what happened to Anya because as a friend Curly didn’t do enough for her at all his comfort was there and he#appreciated but it was a distracted sort of care but as a Captain he didn’t protect her but he’s was a Captain of the Pony Express like what#if they told him to wait to? he still should’ve done something because Anya was actively suffering and Jimmy should’ve been reprimanded but#he’s a captain with orders like the Tulpar isn’t his ship in the same way like#god I wanna explain this in a way that makes sense but the Tulpar is like designed to breed animosity and work on the bare requirements one#needs to get things done that’s not how people work and if anyone deviates or interrupts that it literally has nothing to handle it#it becomes clear that if any social unrest happens why they just say fuck it and give the Captain the gun because if something happens the#blame can easily be placed on the person they put in charge despite what they put them#in charge of like this is just like work place harassment irl because often the perpetrators are not punished but the supervisors for not#stopping them with meetings or cuts or whatever but the environment the company fostered is rarely fixed or blamed#like why was this allowed to occur? and honestly that is because Jimmy did what he did#ask me about this if this is confusing cause I worded it crazy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#the pony express
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time flies!!! damn!!!
#scribblins#can't believe it's already been a year holy shit#well happy anniversary to one of the best decisions of my life#i don't really have anyone to celebrate with irl but i'll probably treat myself at a local cafe... they have a very tasty french toast!
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