#or any news is just fucking GONE
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Man, I’m gonna be so mad, as Twitter was a goldmine for discovering new artists and hearing some interesting opinions on Star Wars (even if they were cringelords being stupid). There was some really nice artwork there.
Oh well, guess I’ll have to ply these waters again.
Who knows, I might actually become productive again.
#SPR rambles#the worst thing is losing connections with my friends#most are on Discord so that's less of an issue#but FUCK man#can't follow the news on the games I like#or any news is just fucking GONE#i'll have to join more discord servers which I'm not happy about#OH I WOULD IF I KNEW THE FUCKING URLS TO DO SO THANKS MUSK#full offense I hope he fucking dies#hit by his own tesla and splattered across the road
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Idk who needs to hear this but time and time again isn't over!!!
Webtoon removed the "time and time again will return!!!" Banner and I don't know why, but it's not over!!! There's still another 1/3 of the comic to go! There's a lot more stuff that I'm working on and it'll be coming back soon!
Please be patient with me, I know it's been a long time... But the stuff I'm making is really good and there's a lot of reasons it's taken this long. I promise I want it back more than anyone.
I'm trying to come back around the end of October. I'm doing my best to get everything ready in time, so no promises, but I'm on track to do so! I'm just one person writing and drawing everything, and my editor was fired so I'm not even getting any notes anymore. It's literally just me. I'm doing my best I promise!
#im so frustrated that banner has been gone#and people think the comic is over because of that#which is reasonable to think#but it... idk#its already an uphill battle to try snd retain audience after a hiatus this long#let alone when webtoon is actively building thr expectation that theres no need to come back...#im so frustrated#every day there is something new with them its so exhausting#this isnt even the thing I've been majorly stressed about this is a fresh new frustration#i feel like they're not just being unhelpful#at this point i feel like theyre actively sabotaging my career.#im not allowed to promote my books#i can't make my links too big so no one can find me#people dont even know i have a patreon#i can't make any announcements on the comic#and now people think th whole thing is over and it isnt!#im so ;_;#im so frustrated and demoralized#and people complete reasonably are losing patience and interest#and. ah... it's fine. like genuinely it is fine.#it will come back soon and i am doing a good job#and everyone who sees it's back will be happy with what ive done#cause it's good. its really good...#but. yeah. idk. webtoon has been actively keeping me down since the beginning and im so over them#I've been so mistreated aysudjejjdjdjdj#i just want to finish the series and go ;_;#taking all my power to not **** ******#just gotta power through and get the fuck out#text post#update
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#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
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hey what if @zoanluen au v2 what then
#ive been fucking obsessed with this au#not that u'd know cause i have a different tumblr to go feral on and ive been gone for like a week but#take my word for it#or dont i dont care im not ur dad#can u tell i didnt put any effort into the outfit? i can. i just got excited about pigtails#i always get so worried when participating in an au that isnt mine ESPECIALLY when im new to the fandom#like hi ultrakill its me and im not going away sorry :(#wasting time tryina think of a fanart tag#ultrakill
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joining you in the pla ruined my life club. also the idea that people confessing to volo about how much they liked him and they wish he wouldn’t have turned all evil on him would actually make him feel worse bc they just liked a facade? man. trying to hurt me huh. it’s like he’s allergic to genuine connection and is obsessed with making people hate him for no reason
YEAHHH ITS LIKE. what i like abt pokemas's volo is that we're getting a better look at exactly how he thinks and feels and what it is is that he literally. cannot identify when people are being positive to him anymore. he is Always on the defensive as a survival tactic so Everything must be treated as some kind of slight against him or a manipulation. because clearly something happened in the past to make him that distrustful! he literally cannot afford to trust again or whatever made him be this way could happen to him again!
what volo needs is a friend. but he wouldnt know one even if they fell from the sky, collected the plates and then beat his ass at spear pillar.
#asks#clai speaks#''why do i feel so alone. must because no one likes me and not because i dont give them a chance to get close.''#its part of why pla is such a unique and brilliant pokemon experience because volo Never gets any sort of closure#his ending is unsatisfying. you beat him he gets mad at you and then fucks off to god knows where while not changing in the slightest#other villains in the series either get definitively beaten and wont cause trouble anymore or even turn a new leaf#but volo is just. so far gone. he hates everything and everyone and i dont know what it's going to take to actually stop him#he is this uniquely hopeless case in a series all about hope it is So fascinating. i'm going to shake volo like a maraca
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slasher iii & slasher iv
oh geez oh boy oh god here it is. i had to strangle this thing out of my brain and she came out kicking and screaming. unedited, just some fun slasher iii & slasher iv content on this saturday evening. this is... something
there's a good bit of triggers in here, please proceed with caution.
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The two of them are just hardcore horror fans, right? They've seen all the classics a million times but as they're getting older it's just not enough. III is the first one to suggest it as he turns off the television after watching the newest horror box office flop. At first, IV thought it was a joke. An outlandish suggestion to throw him off his game. That was the kind of jokester that III was. But there was no humor in his voice when he said in a sinisterly quiet voice.
"We could just do that shit ourselves."
The thought caused excitement to pulse through IV's veins as III laid out the details of his fantasy. It was almost too perfect, he thought. Their calculus professor was a piece of shit who was always too hard on the class, so he made an obvious target. He had no family, which further eased IV's conscience. They'd be doing the world a favor.
It was an experience unlike anything he'd ever experienced before, the thrill of watching the light wink out of his horrified eyes as he clawed at the masks covering their faces, watching the fight leave his body as he fell limp to the floor. He found he didn't quite mind the feeling of his blood soaked jeans clinging to his legs.
III had done most of the dirty work, but who was IV to deprive him of the joy he received from plunging the knife into his victim's stomach? They tidied. up after themselves enough to erase their presence, and waited for someone to find him.
The discovery of the beloved professor’s body the next day came as a shock to the whole community, leaving the town a worried mess. Things only got worse as III and IV selected their next target. She was a young woman, engaged to be married, known for babysitting just about every kid in town– the two of them included. IV’s stomach soured at the thought, but the grin on III’s face stirred his excitement enough to quell his conscience.
“Don’t worry mate, she’ll be perfect.” He clapped his friend on the shoulder and pulled him into his pickup truck, the bed loaded with enough hunting knives to butcher a stampede.
And perfect she was. They managed to slip into the garage undetected, slinking through the darkened hallways towards the illumination and chatter of the television in the living room. She had nodded off on the couch, her head tilted back and nestled into the corner, surrounded by blankets and pillows. III gave him a silent nod and IV walked around behind her, wrapping an arm around her neck and clamping his hand over her mouth. Her eyes shot open in fear, panic overtaking her body as her eyes raked down every intimidating inch of III as he knelt in front of her, sliding a knife out of his boot.
IV could feel her gnashing at the flesh of his palm, and simply pressed the crook of his elbow further into her jugular. He could feel her resolve dwindling as she thrashed against his hold, trying to shove III’s towering figure away from her. But III only laughed and swatted away her comparatively small hands as he began tracing the tip of his blade up her pajama clad leg, the twinkle in his eye indicated to IV that he was thoroughly enjoying the muffled whimpers coming from behind IV’s hand, relishing in the way that her body lurched away from him.
When IV felt his hand dampening from her tears, he audibly groaned, looking down to see her beautiful eyes squeezed shut, tears running down her cheeks. If his mask wasn’t covering his mouth he would have leaned down and licked those tears off of her perfect skin himself. But instead, he managed to catch III’s attention, nodding down to her streaming tears and III laughed evilly.
He leaned over her, wiping her tears away with his thumbs, gently caressing her cheeks as he did so, despite IV’s hands covering most of her face.
“Hey, no use for that,” III cooed. “No point of doing that at all, love.”
Her eyes opened, a bone-chilling fear shooting through her body as she saw the murderous glint in III’s eyes. The tears flowed faster, and as she tried again to break free III restrained her arms with ease, resting his body weight on top of her as he brought his knife up to her line of sight again.
“We’re going to have a lovely time, the three of us.”
She screamed from behind IV’s hand, making one last attempt to bite at him and managed to find purchase on the meat of his palm, causing him to yelp. She sank her teeth in until she could taste his blood on her tongue, but she found his grip only tightened. When she dared a glance above her, she could see his eyes shut, breathing labored, but when he looked down at her, she realized what a mistake she had made.
A mixture of her tears and IV’s blood dripped from her chin, and the sight sent a shockwave of excitement through III’s body. He was ecstatic to have a partner in all this, to get to experience his wildest fantasies with his best friend. To share this new side of him with his best friend.
“Now for the fun part.” He whispered, more to IV than to her, but the words caused her heart to sink, she felt the resolve fly from her body– there was no salvation for her. The coppery tang of his blood on her tongue that had once tasted like victory now tasted of defeat. Not only would she die at their hands, she would die with their repulsive presence invading her every sense.
III felt the familiar rush of euphoria as the blade pierced through her belly, her muffled scream like a favorite song heard on the radio. He didn’t miss the way IV’s hip pressed slightly into the couch, spreading a wide grin across his lips.
This would be the fun part, indeed.
Hours later, III laid down in his bed, resting an arm behind his head as he replayed the events of the day, that same grin still plastered on his face. He felt his eyes drifting closed, sleep ready to take his body when he heard the sound of his phone vibrating on his nightstand. His heart leaped at the sight of your name, and your sweet message.
i guess you turned in early tonight. sweet dreams, i love you <3
As he laid back down, his eyes falling shut one more time, his mind conjured up the most beautiful plan for you.
A special surprise.
#also. fair warning: i was pretty stoned when i wrote this so please forgive any errors i may have made it's the only way i could do this#my brain could have gone some insane places here but alas we have reached the limits of em's writing comfort levels.#warning: long tag rambling incoming ->#my brain has not stopped thinking about slasher iii and slasher iv being like billy and stu from scream. UNABLE to stop thinking about it#i could possibly (maybe. MAYBE) write more of this if ppl are rocking with it because FUCK!!!#thinking about the end of scream???? but with them???? i kept starting that and then starting it over until i landed here#but i could give it a whirl if it's what the People Want#but anyways! feedback is appreciated and deeply forever cherished#i like to know what people think of my ideas/writing!!!!#but on the other hand if anyone ever just wants to talk about slasher token know that i am HERE#i struggle to really write much for it just bc we're dancing around the things i'm comfortable writing but good gravy#it's everything. it's all i've thought about since iii showed himself in that new mask back in december#like SHIT!!!!#anyways rambling over here's this 🤲🏼🔪✨#sleep token iii#iii sleep token#sleep token fanfiction#slasher iii#slasher iv#slasher token#em's stcu
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neglecting my job at the draw giant 6+ digit kill count robots as silly little animals factory
#its not as hot as it was when i was scribbling these but i start whining once it gets past 15. so like#STILL FUCKING HOT TO ME BABY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#rodimus#drift#tf#scoob scribble#6 digits is lowballing the kill count esp 4 drift but thinkgen abt an accurate number made me explode so. 6 Plus#stupid ass absurdly long war. no way they were making new dudes faster than they were killing dudes#they shoulda gone extinct after 2 seconds#both sides just go into hiatus for 100s of years at a time or what.#ok prime i prommy i wont attack any more planets for a while#ok megatron i prommy i wont attack u while u prepare to attack more planets#kills them both#anyway funny small animals am i right
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you'll be pleased to know that on my first day back at my job after my two week vacation i am already in one of my semi-regular Job Crises where i feel like if i dont find a new, better job soon im going to explode into 5 billion pieces
#in case you were wondering if i was handling it well#considering getting some sort of degree . but i cant afford that!!!!!!!!!#but i may need one. if i want a better job........#this is so evil. where are the jobs where you can just do fuck all#in all seriousness back to the degree thing im considering getting a degree in library sciences but i dont even have a bachelors 💀#i was too broke for college! had to work! still have to work! no time or money to go to college then or now!#my crisis aside its extremely funny to me how im not even through my first day back and im like oh lol right i hate every minute of this 👍#also im trying not to have Severe guilt abt the ticket(s) i bought the other day like some crazy person but thats another story#yes ill make the money back yes ill enjoy the show but the Guilt..........#which was entirely because my dad was like >:( when i told him i got a ticket for a Far Lesser amount#and im just hoping he doesnt notice how much my bank account has gone down. oops#but that aside and back to my job crisis:#i cant stand it here!!!!!! i really do hate it!!! and i need a new job. however? everything abt the job process is awful and against me#i was planning on writing an article when i got back from vacation but you guessed it im now too stressed/upset to be creative#which is hampering any possibility of my creative aspirations becoming some sort of career#im so tired. already right back to where i was before my vacation when i really needed a vacation#:( . like ill be fine lol i just. am going through it and these tags have gone on too long#but i think i really will get worse if i stay here for longer and its not even that bad but by god sometimes it is#anyway . im taking it well
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thinking about this damn text convo with my mom today still has me wanting to punch walls like 🗿
#personal#she took my car this morning & didnt respond to any of my messages & for some weird ass reason ig my dad just said#‘bad news ur car is gone’ & refused to elaborate so ofc i spent 3 hours of my morning freaking out it got STOLEN#he was probs trying to cover for her or some shit but like. she had this docs appt scheduled for MONTHS & knew i was working today + taking#someone to work… like yes i still live under ur roof but fuck me man u ALSO have ur own cars stop takong mine !!!#so damn embarrassing to tell my friend theyd have to take a lyft like i paid for it & they said it was fine but still 😭#im just in the kitchen cooking all pissed af 🙈
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1:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
2: Fucking RIP Jayce and Viktor I guess lmao
#not a spot of either of them in any of the teasers or trailers#they are GONE#well jayce def is. idk ive still got some hope for viktor bc of this hexcore shenanigans#my theory is he just barely survives but is horrifically injured and his new appearance is a big reveal so theyre not showing him yet#anyway those 2 aside#VI IS GETTING AN EMO MAKEOVER#EKKO HAS A PONYTAIL NOW#I AM SO FUCKING HYPED#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers
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having social anxiety on tumblr dot com is so fucking frustrating cause like. i'll see a post i like and want to reblog but i do it with so so so much embarrassment because my brain's just thinking "oh god oh fuck im being so stupid right now what if op sees it and thinks im annoying" but like. they realistically would either not care at all or be happy about someone reblogging their post so like what the actual fuck am i afraid of??? but here's the kicker. the reason i have social anxiety in the first place is because i HAVE experienced these comically horrible social experiences of being judged and insulted for no reason before. multiple times. recently. the possibility of this happening is not a 0 chance. i have legitimate reasons to be afraid. and that is. actually horrific
#even on tumblr dot com (the neurodivergent website) i'm not safe from being ridiculed like my anxiety prophesises#the worst part is that the reason this has happened is because i'm autistic or i misinterpreted something. and i can't just-#-stop being autistic because that is impossible. so the ridicule could actually strike me at any time for no reason at all and that is-#-really scary.#i remember this one specific time i misinterpreted a post months ago and a couple people left sorta sarcastic snide replies on it-#-atting me and i literally did not know what i did wrong and was like ''hey wait i think i might have misinterpreted this. someone explain'#and luckily someone did and it was fine. but like. that was actually horrifying for me.#i was relatively new to tumblr at the time and i legitimately thought people were going to like dogpile me or something. i was that afraid.#and that sounds really stupid but you need to understand that 1. these people did not bother to say what i did wrong and were really vague-#-so that left no room for me to actually like. know what i did. and 2. being mocked and made fun of for not knowing something is something-#-i have gone through many MANY times and people dogpiling others for miniscule reasons is very common online. so like.#it was really fucking scary for me because my brain takes a light shower and turns it into a raging thunderstorm and i literally cannot-#-control that.#also slightly off topic but i hate when there's a misunderstanding or argument online and people are just snide and sarcastic about it-#-and won't bother to explain for no reason. stop being vague and just tell me already!! i don't want to play mental charades with you!!#anyway. yeah i hate having social anxiety it sucks.#social anxiety#vent#this is also the reason i rarely reblog or reply to others in my fandom. i promise i'm not being rude or cold! i literally-#-physically cannot bring myself to reply a lot of the time because i'm absolutely petrified to. i'm frozen with unimaginable fear.#so liking posts is my way of showing i appreciate everyone :)
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i finally finished bg3
and it only took me [looks at steam]
SIX HUNDRED HOURS
#merlin.txt#w/ the new computer the rest of act 3 went by super quickly#honestly i dont think my computer and my sanity would have survived all those cutscenes#ANYWAYS initial thoughts:#cried like a baby. ending credits songs really really good. i can't WAIT to start a new playthru. HOWEVER:#oh my god the ending felt so fucking rushed. i was expecting like a typical rpg ending slideshow at LEAST but nothing???#like you only get One cutscene with your romanced partner (a short one too) but i don't get to see what everyone else is doing??? hello??#gale is literally like 'lets celebrate' and we don't get to see the celebration??? or at the very least a chance to talk to everyone again#like in act 1 and 2????#imo i think the most satisfying one was lae'zels. god i love her#also act 3 is hella buggy especially towards the end. a lot of broken dialogue. but ah well#OK NOW SPOILER THOUGHTS SAMMIE DONT LOOK:#the game Really wants you to turn illithid but i ended up just letting karlach do it ... i felt bad .. but like#i found the arc of my tav like. getting So close to going full power hungry and martyr and hero only to finally be humbled like -#'you dont have to always play hero' was really interesting. like doing that and then hearing the post credits 'the power' song. gshldgksmal#guy who is soo miserable abt the fact that all their cool illithid powers are now gone. has to go back to being normal#ALSO. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE ENDING AST SCENE. HELLO?#HIM RUNNING AWAY FROM THE SUN. IT BEING COMPLETELY PLAYED FOR LAUGHS. SO MEAN#any other time i may have laughed but the fact that you dont really get epilogues made that Really sting.#THE FACT THAT THE COMPANIONS ARE NOT EVEN NICE ABOUT IT??????
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Ryan Murphy fucking die challenge
#stop! making! dogshit! exploitative! shows! on! real! people!#he was allowed to get away with it for far too long and has become confident that what he’s doing is even slightly acceptable#it started with asylum and he’s been getting worse and worse with it since#he’s been slowly uping the level of include real people in his shows#he was so very carefully testing the waters with asylum and including Anne Frank#but in a way he could be like well it was never intended to be her (or was it)#then the next season it was the axman of New Orleans#and Marie Laveau and Delphine LaLaurie#freak show as far as I know didn’t include any and just based characters on real people instead#and then oh holy shit Hotel is where he really started fucking pushing it good god#he wanted to know just how much he could get away with#and it’s just gone down fucking hill from there#he wouldn’t really go for it again until 1984#not to that extreme anyway#Roanoke and all the goddamn cult leaders (and thankfully I think none were in apocalypse)#and then oh my goddddd#he should’ve been put down after 1984. the fucking nerve. the goddamn fucking nerve#I cannot stand this man#I allow myself to have a burning fucking hatred for one man I do not know#and it is Ryan Murphy
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anyone else violently afraid of dying in a mass preventable accident or is it just me. asking for a friend.
#emyrs.txt#i'm so maddddddddd. i wrangled this specific type of intrusive thought as a preteen!!!!! i had finally managed to convince myself#that i was fine with “if it happens it happens”!!!!! i had finally gone. ok well. nothing i can do about that! and moved on!!!!!#but then. covid vine boom. multiple acquaintances and family dying within months of each other vine boom. season 4 house md finale vine boo#the election vine boom. me being stressed as hell in general because of who i am as a person. etc etc.#was driving down the freeway the other day and so viscerally thought of a car accident happening that i almost started crying reflexively.#caitlin doughty uploaded a new video today and i watched it thinking. oh yeah i'll feel better! bc it's caitlin :) and then i almost had#a panic attack imagining something like that happening to one of my friends or family or me.#anyway i think i should get checked for ocd. for reasons unrelated to the intense stress/sheer panic i feel all the time & the rituals &#compulsions & the thoughts that loop over & over in my head. unrelated to all that.#also this specific fear is i think rooted mostly in pain. like. dying a slow nasty death. where being killed would be more humane.#and also obviously the preventability of it all. thinking specifically of caitlins' newest video specifically but also just. accidents#happen all the fucking time. being a casualty in something and then having my body not be identified for hours or days or months. or being#misidentified. like obviously i won't give a shit. bc i'll be dead. but who will help my parents through the whole thing. who will tell#my friends.#ok i'm freaking myself out even more. ask to tag. idk if any of this is triggering.#um. bye. i'm fine just. ?????????? you understand.
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Can you Vi-lieve it?
#yes we're still online and posting in volume dw about it#we're on a bit of a kick#anyways. we arent sure how well this accomplishes the style exactly but here's an Attempt at humans-b-gone vi#we can't sleep so we're just doodling funky little bugs in new styles which ofc means vi is our test subject#considering theres a contest we wonder if our previous art counts as an entry or just fanart#bug fables#vi#art#we post our works#we speak#HOPEFULLY this is the last one of the night by fuck we are bad at sleeping#we have. fewer data points on the art style than one would think but we're doing our best#as far as we know there havent been any bees on-screen yet so this is just a guess from us looking at Bee Images
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Never reblogging that stupid gold potato again. In other news, anyone wanna hire me?
#the store i work for hasn't quite gone bankrupt yet but it's in the last few steps before getting there#so the webstore and app are closed and we're not accepting any returns or even warrenty claims which obviously customers love 🙃#and it's a big chain so this is all over the news and so many customers feel sorry for us which is nice but mostly just fucking exhausting#like yes it sucks thanks for feeling bad for us now for the love of god please stop talking about it#maybe i should go back to software development after all
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