#or am I just biased in that I made her and dealt with her for years so of COURSE I’d recognize my baby even if she’s got

[peapod20001]

8!!! For Shirley!! ik he's had enough for a Look Book, but what's your fav?

✨YOU ASKED THE PERFECT FUCKING QUESTION MY FAVORITE FUCKING QUESTION ANY EXCUSE TO SHOW OFF SHIRLEY CLOTHES IS A GOOD EXCUSE!!!✨

First there are probably like. All time favs. They do VIBEY. and GOOD LOOKIN. COOKIN THE GOOD LOOKIN

I would have put all the ones I saved BUT there is a 10 image limit on tumblr but that’s FINE cus otherwise I’d repost all. Of them (which was only a couple more but still)

Shirley in drag always welcome in my heart and my eyes... ❤️

Legally obligated to share og ringmaster suit (slut vers) an valentine outfit cus of the hands (that are really good for some reason??)

Mmeeghggg they can even pull off!! The ugliest of clothes!!! How do they do it!!!! (It’s the SWAGGER. The CONFIDENCE)

Last one is just posed so amazing and the hands are very good idk how I managed it tbh I was just winging everything LMAO

I just fucking!!! Love Shirley!! He’s my dress up doll my darling the love of my life!!! I very badly wanna redraw all these now thank you <3

[utilitycaster]

I know there have been many Takes about Laudna and Orym after latest episode. Yours saying that this is not a bad development for Orym is interesting to me because my knee-jerk reaction while watching was being horrified he went so cold about Bor’Dor’s death. But after some time, I guess him finally choosing to be pragmatic after days torn by his own idealism would be a much healthier route for him in the long run.

I want to know what you think about Ashton, though. Some people are saying, they “let” Laudna kill Bor’Dor because they thought it’s what she needed. That sits wrong with me because Laudna made that decision and she’s not a child, but Ashton is my favorite character and I can’t help think I am biased lol.

Please excuse my badly structured sentences, I’m not native speaker.

Hi anon! Your English is great!

I think this is a revealing question in that, in fandom, I think a lot of people lead with "well, obviously, my favorite character is clearly morally in the right, or, failing that, the character I don't like is morally in the wrong" rather than considering the situation, the context, the genre norms, what makes for the most interesting story, etc. So recognizing that Ashton's your favorite and that might be coloring your opinion puts you ahead of a lot of people.

Anyway: I think it can be true both that Laudna made her own decision and that Ashton could, had they wanted, chosen to make an effort to stop her and they didn't. I don't think that means Ashton is responsible for what Laudna did per se, but I also don't personally think he had a moral imperative to save Bor'Dor. I think someone who thinks he did have that moral imperative might disagree, but they should also be blaming Laudna just as much in that case.

Someone else remarked to me that based on the discourse you'd think Orym - the only person who did not attack or restrain Bor'Dor - executed him in cold blood. Just to recap the fight: we only really had one round during which Orym gave Prism a potion to heal her up and did bait and switch to protect her; Ashton hit, with non-lethal intent; Deni$e restrained Bor'Dor; Laudna cast Hunger of the Shadow, knocking Bor'Dor unconscious; and Prism punched him. The following round was technically not run as combat in initiative order, and had it been, Bor'Dor could theoretically have died of a failed death save before Laudna's turn, but Orym and Deni$e made no attacks and Ashton chose to lead away Prism. Probably any of the three martial class characters could, had they wanted to, stopped Laudna. None of them did.

Which I think goes back to the second paragraph: In the end? I think most people are making their judgments of whether or not they think Bor'Dor should die, and even further back to whether or not the Ruby Vanguard is a cultish, terrorist organization, deciding on whether his death was justified or not, and then, if they think it was not, pinning blame on the character they like least. You can argue for any, though frankly, I think Orym is the weakest argument: Laudna is the one who literally killed him, both knocking him unconscious and taking the final death save. Prism took the most death saves with her punch. Ashton dealt a significant amount of damage and did not intervene when Laudna had an unconscious Bor'Dor at her mercy. Deni$e is the one who initially brought up her suspicions, forcing Bor'Dor's hand, and similarly made no physical effort to stop anyone. Orym indicated his approval to Laudna and did not try to stop her.

I think that had Bor'Dor not attacked the party, and had instead simply run away, tracking him down and killing him would have been excessive, but on the other hand, he had a lot of information that could have been extremely dangerous to Bells Hells, so at the very least I think they needed to take him prisoner; but he's not wanted by any specific legal system, so I think he'd just be their hostage, dragged along, indefinitely, as they attacked his friends over and over again. There isn't a nice, neat solution where everyone is happy. Deradicalization is an admirable goal, but it requires a massive amount of effort and resources that I don't think Bells Hells have, and no one should be expected to deradicalize someone who is actively committing violence against them. Once Bor'Dor attacked, to me, this became self-defense and an admission that he was lost: that he'd spent several days with them during which they were kind to him, but because of their ideologies, he attempted to kill them anyway. At that point, I don't fault any of the characters present for killing him/letting him be killed in response.

I guess the last point I'll make is that while, in terms of empathy, there is obviously a huge difference between killing someone regretfully, and killing someone and relishing it, they are, in the end, dead either way. I don't interpret Orym's behavior as cold, but rather merely calm acceptance that he can no longer avoid the inevitable war - and I do think that acting as though Orym's subjectivity in this situation is problematic while ignoring that Prism and Laudna were in no way objective either is an incredibly poorly considered argument, and deeply unfair- but in the end, whether Orym is stoic or whether he breaks down crying, Bor'Dor is still dead. I am not going to fault a character for having an outward emotional reaction that doesn't match what I think it should be when I think their motivations were reasonable.

[eletricheart]

Video Games

(Mother Miranda x Reader)

*image creds to the owner

Word count: 1.583

"heaven is a place on earth with you"

----------------------------------------------------

It was just another monday when you two met. Miranda was at Umbrella perfecting the E-001, while you dealt with the legality of it all. Having a project that quite explicitly goes against the ethical code required an executive to supervise, and that's what you were doing.

It was the first day of work and your constant presence was starting to annoy Miranda, she was a renowned scientist, having done this ever since before you were born, there was no need for this. But you never left, having fun every time she broke a glass while staring at you.

It became a routine, everyday you would supervise her and she would threaten your life.

Everyone in the lab noticed the change in behavior before you both did. How the greetings went from rolling eyes to smiles. How Miranda became hypnotized when you questioned her doings. How you adoringly stared at her even during the most gross experiments.

Once the project was determined a failure, Miranda still visited you, claiming to keep her enemies close. Those days were precious to both and the departure hurt every time.

It was one of your late nights at the roof that the priestess invited you to travel.

"How do you feel about Romania?"

You looked at her with a confused expression. "I guess I like it, never been there to tell."

"What if I took you there?" She hesitantly asked.

You smiled before answering. "Well, then, my opinion would be totally biased."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because I would adore any place you're in."

She rolled her eyes with an embarrassed smile. "We'll leave in a week."

You laughed. "Deal."

The trip was fun, she didn't take you to her village, at least not yet. You would visit the museums with her explaining the story behind most artifacts, and on the other hand during city exploring you would be the one with the historical curiosities.

She rented a house for more privacy so in return you made dinner…tried…you both drank more than ate. 

You were sitting on the porch talking nonsense as the moon took the sky when Miranda finished her second wine glass. "So, what made you choose Umbrella? You're smart enough to work anywhere else."

You giggled and filled her glass. "Their working hours were the lowest I could find."

The priestess rolled her eyes. "I'm being serious."

"So am I. I like the free time and everyone is happy."

"Everyone who?"

You sighed and looked at the stars before answering. "My family, they always wanted me to have a good job, preferably in law, so this one was perfect. I do what they want, but still can have something more."

Miranda curiously looked at you. "If you could be anything, what would you choose?"

You smiled dreamily. "I actually always wanted to be an archeologist, or an explorer."

The priestess smiled back at you. "I think you would be amazing at it."

You blushed and shaked your head in disbelief. "I think you're the only one."

"Then everyone else is an idiot."

You chuckled and laid your head on her shoulder, changing topics and talking the night away.

After the trip, Miranda's visits became less frequent, and with the disappearance of Eveline, you were drowned in work.

She appeared on your door a few days before Christmas, inviting you to her house. In all honesty, you wanted to say no, work was eating you alive and there was still much to do. But when she looked at you with those blue eyes, you knew you had lost the fight, so you said yes.

To Miranda' surprise, you took in the village pretty well, not only wanting to see every corner of the place but going around with incessant questions about the religion. After two days of asking to be at the meeting, the priestess accepted but not before telling the rules to every lord and giving you a sum up of their personalities.

Donna was the first to arrive, well Angie was to be more exact. The doll ran to you yelling about a new friend, in which you matched her energy perfectly, your curiosity over a talking doll was stronger than the fear of a talking doll. Miranda almost sent Angie away once she started to climb you, but your smiling face when looking at the priestess made her stay quiet, only greeting Donna and assuring her it was fine.

Moreau was the second, you weren't prepared for him but kept being polite and tried to smile as best as you could with a doll in your head.

Alcina was the third, and wow you were impressed. Miranda could see the gears turning in your head. You looked at the woman as if she was the most interesting  being in the universe, and strangely that made the priestess frown. The Goddess gave Lady Dimitrescu a threatening look, making the woman tremble and treat you strictly professional.

When Karl arrived, he ignored Miranda and made a straight line to you, being flirty enough to make the priestess growl and remove him from your side.

You obviously didn't mind, finding her behavior endearing. 

The rest of the reunion should have been boring, only weekly reports and some complaints, but you were enchanted by Miranda, even forgetting Angie that tried to call for your attention. It was like the world had faded and all you could see was the priestess.

She eventually noticed your staring, being filled with pride and overly happy that your attention was on her.

Once the meeting ended, Moreau and Karl were the first to leave, the latter not even daring to look at you. Alcina invited you for tea, much to the priestess dismay, but you scheduled it for another day. Angie didn't want to let you go, trying to bring you to her house to play, but you assured the doll that you would visit, all the while Donna just nodded at you as goodbye.

You stayed at the village for over a month, falling into a domestic life with Miranda, splitting house chores, cooking together, it was your little world. She would dance with you when you were feeling low. You would bake during her working hours and help her take a break between research. She would walk around with you, laughing when you stopped to draw something new or write down your discoveries. You became her explorer.

Your relationship with the lords improved, Moreau enjoyed your sea curiosities, Alcina and her daughters had fun telling about their hunts and businesses. Karl warmed up to you, gifting you little robots when you visited. Angie adored you and your games, but Donna enjoyed drinking tea with you, and calmly tending to the garden.

When it was time for you to leave the village, Miranda followed you until the airport. You wanted to stay, but the priestess never asked so you went back home.

Donna was actually the one to advise her to call you back since she noticed the woman's sad demeanor. 

So, Miranda went after you, she didn't quite understand her feelings for you but the need to have you close was overwhelming. The priestess showed up at your doorstep, not giving you time to fully open the door and just walking into your living room.

She started pacing back and forth. "I have something to ask you."

You arched an eyebrow at her. "It would be nice to know why you're in my apartment in the middle of the night."

Miranda took a deep breath and stood in front of you. "Will you come live with me? In Romania?"

You looked at her with a surprise face. "I have work and pilates tomorrow."

She chuckled. "You can be my explorer. Besides, the lords are missing you, Angie is being more annoying than usual."

You smiled and stared at the floor. "Do you miss me?"

Miranda was unusually surprised with your question. "I suppose your absence has been noticed and unpleasant."

You laughed at her response and asked to help you pack your belongings. Both ended up distracted by the stories behind your various decorating objects. In the end, you only properly left a week later, having to send a formal letter to your work, and cut ties with your courses.

Your return to the village was festive, even more special once you found out the lords decorated the castle themselves. Angie and Donna wouldn't leave your side, listening to anything you were willing to tell. The Dimitrescu children were mostly happy about the party, but they did welcome you back. Alcina and Miranda were talking about god knows what in a corner, while Karl was trying to stop Moreau from ruining his decoration.

It didn't take long for you and Miranda to fall back into routine, but this time the priestess ordered plenty of books on archeological discoveries for you, taking time out of her day to study with you.

Everything was peaceful, you finally had the time and encouragement to become a history nerd with a touch of artistry. And Miranda was starting to recover from her grief, becoming less obsessed, accepting the help of the Lords, and allowing herself to be with you.

Of course not all was perfect, you still fought sometimes, but never left. You've both been alone for too long in a world that was made for two. This heaven that you created wouldn't fade away, Miranda would make sure of it.

----------------------------------------------------

masterlist

[sspidrwebz]

so theres this spidergwen fan song and let me fucking tell you guys

it goes. so fucking hard. oh my god. bloody fucking hell.

yapping under the cut

Where are the people whose love is unconditional Let family down, and they want me gone a criminal

holy shit?? family issues is a huge part of the reason im a gwen kinnie and just.. hit hard

Dropping the ball so much, it's wild, I'm in the game Then I remember multiverses know my name, uh

slay.

Not a photo, I'm a Ghost, go find me up in the air I'm a kid pro, I get in your head, there a big joke, never catch me yet

flow goes hard. lyrics go hard.

Tell me I'm wrong when I hear y'all say a hero is a person you want dead Moving so slow, when I win go next, saving all those who give no respect

the bullshit she goes through and nobody even thanks her or anything. spiderman is loved. miles is loved. why cant she be??

Demonize me in your mind Just one truth, it's yours not mine When I leave it's 'cause it's time To heal

this applies to so many communities in real life, its insane the discrimination. queer people, poc people, neurodivergent people, the list goes on. i think the last line is in reference to when she runs away, that hurt.

The hurt I've dealt with all these years To you must seem like teenage tears The ones I loved have so much hate For this side of me

ohhh god right in the heart. the biases between generations. the homophobia/transphobia coding...

I'm done with all the fear and pain, the sorrow, the sorrow I'd slam the doors and scream until you'd follow, but there's no lifeline I know I've made my choices, my mistakes over and over, over But I'll fight until I can't see a tomorrow to do it differently this time

its me its so me. such a common sentiment for any queer teenager honestly oh my god.

Doing my best all the time, and it ends up with them falling Always guessing does it count if I'm lost at my true calling

oh gwen baby... me too, relationships and trust issues it sucks ass

Maybe it changed along the way am I delusional? Bad for everyone, my actions always prove it all

this song reminds me of just how much i relate to her :[[

Let me sink 'till I'm too deep Keeping warm in memories If I go, one day you'll see What you've thrown away

its giving sad teen poetry, feels like she genuinely wrote this. i feel like ive written something very similar before.

[chorus] Think you'll stop me? Good or bad, it haunts me Past the point of caring, they see someone that's long gone in my face

fucking try to tell me gwen isnt trans when that latter line exist, tell me right now. i relate too hard to that one [im cis, i just mean it in a diff way]

Take the rules and bend them 'till I shatter them all Can't help it because

fuck the awful fucking rules man do what you need to, thats beautiful

[chorus]

-

anyways yeah im so in love with this song, thanks @halacg for this absolutely lovely and powerful piece

[hide-in-imagination]

Okiii, sooo since none of my few friends that I have watch Soy Luna, I see no other option than to speak here 😅 I am extremely annoyed by how in the series they have an incredibly visible double standard, like when in the third series Luna sings with Matteo and behind them a photo appears of Matteo kissing Emilia and everyone is angry at Matteo for cheating on Luna, while they weren't even dating, literally Luna had only pushed him away until this time, and it didn't happen that he started kissing Luna, time stopped, he went to kiss Emilia and went back to Luna again, but everyone made Luna out to be the poor thing that Matteo cheated on, but when Matteo REALLY cheated on Ámbar with Luna in the first series (he still flirted with Luna even though he was dating Ámbar and even though it wasn't a particularly good relationship, he still he was dating her at that time, for two years, and at every opportunity he tried to stick his tongue down Luna's throat, and the same Luna, during her dating with Simón, acted as if nothing happened and was still flirting with Matteo), no one cared, because after all it's just that Matteo was more suited to Luna so he wasn't really doing anything wrong, like what's that supposed to mean? No one there cared that he was dating Ámbar and still flirting with Luna, because it was with Luna, and after all, Luna is an angel, so what's wrong with that? echw. And another example is the Sol thing. When Ámbar found out that she was Sol, almost no one addressed it, and if so, not even one episode, okay Luna once said that it must be difficult for her and Matteo once asked her if she was ok, and Delfi and Jazmin with her they were in the room for a while talking to her about it, which let's be honest, it didn't seem like they really cared. BUT, when they found out that Luna was the real Sol, everyone, literally everyone was like 'ohhh poor thing, it must be so hard for her, we have to take care of her' like wtf. Same with Alfredo, he literally treated Luna better even though he thought Sol was Ámbar and didn't even try to hide it. It's just that the more I think about everything that happened in the series, I have to think about how terribly they treated Ámbar there. Yes, she made a lot of mistakes, but the only one who still saw hope in her was Simón, the others were, well, just horrible. And above all, the fact that everyone dealt with how difficult it was for Luna to learn the truth, but the fact that the only person she had been with all her life left Ámbar, no one cared. I can't even describe how angry I am with all the characters. Amber deserved better. I'm also quite annoyed that it ended with Ámbar "making friends" with everyone and everything was great. People think about how they could suddenly and simply forgive Ámbar, but what about the other way around? Why would Ámbar want to be friends with them after all? I understand that she didn't want to have a bad relationship with them anymore, mainly because of Simon, but why did the creators have to show it as if nothing bad happened between them? I'm sure she might be friends with Luna in the future, or Delfi again since her boyfriend is best friends with their boyfriends, but I don't see why she would want to be friends with Jazmin, Yam, Jim, etc., but maybe I'm biased interested in them because I don't need them, especially Jazmin, sorry, but just ahhhh, nevermind. Thank you for listening to me, you may not agree with me, but I couldn't hold it in and argue against myself in my head any longer. I will be happy if you tell me your point of view. Even if you don't agree with me, because, after all, maybe I'm too strict with the other characters, because I empathize with the Ámbar character a lot. Anyway, I wish you a nice day, week, and overall life❤️ XOXO

(I apologize for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language and I am not very good at it 😅)

Anon, you are so right. You are so correct that the Earth shakes when you speak. The wise follow you and the ignorant hate you.

To be fair, Ámbar was pretty shitty to a lot of people, so it's not like she never did anything wrong; she did, multiple times. But yeah, the bias the story had towards Luna is so annoying. I know she's the protagonist and it's a Disney show for kids, okay? I get it. But I'm still allowed to be annoyed by it as an adult with a functional fully developed brain. Luna could literally do no wrong while the littlest thing Ámbar did was always the worst. smh. Again, I know Ámbar was mean for a long time, but Matteo deserved much worse than he got and Luna deserved way less. I will die on this hill.

And don't worry, anon, your English is fine ❤️ And you can vent over here whenever you like, especially if it's Luna criticism, I love to see it.

Also, sorry for the late reply, I've been celebrating my birthday for three days straight with different people skdjn. I'm finally free. And then tomorrow is my mom's birthday, and then the day after that, I'm going to Canada for vacations, so... yeah. If I disappear, you all know why 😂

[bbygirl-aemond]

You may already be aware, but I actually found ppl going back and forth on Reddit about a post you'd made on here (re Viserys being a shite parent). It's under r/HouseOfTheDragon in case you ever wanted to check it out. I just recognized your name, as I follow you and it was shared as a screenshot from here.

lmao i will never get over how wild reposting on the internet actually is. that fucker has over a thousand comments and i had no idea until you told me just now! literally made a reddit account to try to add my voice to the din just to encourage people to discuss on the original platform so i can see but tbh people on reddit are a lot meaner than tumblr so i won't be mad if it doesn't get too many upvotes.

reddit's responses to this post is such an interesting case study in the polarization that's happening everywhere online. i get SO MANY accusations of being wildly biased from supporters of both "teams" all the time and it's funny because like am i too team green or too team black bc i can't be both right? mostly i think it's because people get really defensive when you criticize a character and assume it means you hate them. like bruh we are adults with big girl emotions can't it be a little more complex than that?

when i say i think viserys is a bad parent, i'm not saying it as team green propaganda. i've said before that rhaenyra is the rightful ruler and that i absolutely adore her as a character (let's just say aemond isn't my only babygirl). there's a reason i've written 100k+ words of fanfic designing a political scenario where she'll be able to happily rule without any of her children dying. spoiler alert: it's not because i hate her and think she's a bad ruler. and she's far from the only character on team black i love: daemon, jacaerys, lucerys, and baela all come to mind.

it's also really interesting to me that people see my opinion about viserys and, even though i literally did not mention rhaenyra, assume that i'm somehow shitting on her. it just goes to show how much they stand blindly by one team or another. that to criticize one member of their "team" feels to them like you're criticizing every member. like baby, i'm not the one making it about teams: you are! honestly, i understand why the team mentality was a good marketing move, but it really has been the death of critical thinking in this fandom. there are aspects of both that we're meant to root for, just as there are aspects of both we're meant to hate. none of these people are objectively morally good, and that's what makes it interesting, so why are we trying to pretend otherwise?

so while yes, i don't like viserys, why would i extend that dislike to rhaenyra? it's not like she forced him at gunpoint to do the things i'm criticizing him for lol. in fact, i think viserys did her just as dirty most of the time. i have another post in the works about this, but he neglected her for her entire childhood, groomed her best friend and dealt with telling her in the worst possible way, and made her heir in a bid for her affection yet did none of the actual work to honor her as a ruler. he could have made her his hand but instead he made her pour his wine?

now, again, just because we dislike part of something does not mean it's all bad. do i think viserys is generally quite a bad parent and person? absolutely. did i also cry ugly tears in the scene where he forces himself up from his literal deathbed to defend his daughter? yes. these two things can coexist.

also, because reddit is reddit, there are a bunch of comments that just miss my point about alicent and aemma entirely. i've already responded to those in a post here so i won't beat a dead horse too much. but to paraphrase: viserys married alicent because he liked her specifically not for duty or he would've married someone who wouldn't horrify the entire small council; and aemma didn't need to be alive and conscious for the pain she was put through at the end of her life. the things he did to his wives weren't necessary and i don't think we should be pretending they were.

lastly, it's really funny to me how many people incorrectly assumed i was a man in the comments. i'm genuinely the girliest girl to ever girl in real life (makeup jewelry and tits to the gods, sorority girly, the whole nine yards, i love it) and it gave me such whiplash. there's a joke to be made here about trying to weaponize male privilege somewhere.

[lunarzomb]

2, 18, 29 for the character thingy? also HELLO!!!

HAII MOOTIE !! ^_^ tysm for the ask !!

I'm gonna choose Shauna for this one >:)

2. Did you always like this character?

Yes and no. My very first impression of Shauna was that she was cute and I liked her style, so that made me a bit biased towards her. Then once I actually got into the show more, I didn't really like how she treated Jackie 😭 I know Jackie was not the greatest friend either. But then after the season 1 finally,, I grew to love Shauna much more as a character. Plus reading so many good analysis' on her character helped me understand her more lol. Now I'm a big fan of both teen Shauna and adult Shauna (although I am a bit more biased towards adult Shauna, I love them both dearly)

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

Honestly both, but leaning a bit more towards the angst side of things. Apart of the reason why her character resonates with me more is because of all of the things that she has dealt with in her life. And to me it's especially interesting to see how all of what she went through has carried on into her adulthood.

29. Do you affectionately bully this character?

hmm now that I think about it, not really... and if I do it's usually just in my own mind, I don't really post about it lol

Ask Game Here!!

[taylorgrape]

Ryan's Characters as Taylor Swift Songs

I am so sorry. @rumor-weed

AUDREY "RUMOR" WEED AS NEW ROMANTICS "The rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true." I'm gonna be so real the above lyric was such a big part of me picking this as a song for her lmao. But also it's just sorta a vibey bop and the general energy of it reminds me so much of Audrey which obviously we love. Other notable lyrics that give me Audrey vibes: "We play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing" "It's poker, he can't see it on my face but I'm about to play my ace." "We team up then switch sides like a record changer."

BARTLEBEY THE BUTLER AS TIMELESS "Time breaks down your mind and body, don't you let it touch your soul." Bartlebey is Timeless for two reasons. One, is, of course, the fact that Ryan and I are constantly pushing the narrative of Pincherbey are in love in every single universe and timeline. The other reason is that we don't know if he belongs in this timeline at all or what his like... whole deal is in any regard. And for that reason it is very funny to just say "Bartlebey is Timeless." Other notable lyrics that give me Bartlebey vibes: "And somehow I know that you and I would've found each other." "I thought about it as I started lookin' 'round at these precious things that time forgot." "We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made, and you'll say, 'Oh my, we really were timeless'."

PHIL WINKLESTEIN AS TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR "The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star." King of yearning ofc gets the yearning song of all time. Honestly listening to this song and thinking abt the musical situation with Bob and everything just came together. My mans is so in his feelings and if he has a guitar (which he might I'm not caught up on the Phillip lore) I just know that mf would have teardrops on it. Other notable lyrics that give me Phil vibes: "I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night" "So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light, I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight." "The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart"

PETER PEPPARAZZI AS EYES OPEN "So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard." Ofc Mr. Pepparazzi is the song abt how everyone is watching you. Because my mans is the one watching!! He is the 'everyone' referenced in lyrics below. King of being nosy fr. I really do not have much to say past that bc I love that this is just how he be. Other notable lyrics that give me Peter vibes: "Everybody's waiting for you to break down" "Everybody's watching to see the fallout" "And nobody comes to save you now."

LOVEY ASPARAGUS AS I DID SOMETHING BAD "I don't regret it one bit 'cause he had it comin'." Miss I killed my husband is obviously this song are you KIDDINGGG literally I could just list every single lyric in this song and it would be correct. She's a baddie and even tho she did in fact kill her husband she's kind of a feminist icon for that. He deserved it and I'm glad she did it. Other notable lyrics that give me Lovey vibes: "Most fun I ever had and I'd do it over and over and over again if I could." "They never see it coming what I do next." "They're burning all the witches even if you aren't one, so light me up."

NEBBY K NEZZER AS YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN "And snakes and stones never broke my bones." hear me out hear mE OUT- my man has dealt with far too much shit he's done his time... and he's surrounded by well... we know them. He's just done and that is DESERVED. Also, of course I am slightly biased but this is such him and his stupid high school glee rival energy. PLUSSS (as listed below) 'shade never made anybody less gay' ARE YOU KIDDDINGGG so nezzer coded (source: bro trust me) Other notable lyrics that give me Nezzer vibes: "And I'm just like 'Damn, it's 7:00 a.m.'" "You need to calm down, you're being too loud." "'cause shade never made anybody less gay."

ART BIGOTTI AS ILLICIT AFFAIRS "Take the words for what they are; a dwindling mercurial high" Okay obviously this is abt Art yearning for a whole ass married man. BUT ALSO the way this song is written just gives me such Art vibes especially with the whole comparing having an affair to drugs thing lmaaao but like when I was picking songs and this came up I KNEW this was downbad king art bigotti. (ps this is currently one of my top taylor songs so this is a great honor" Other notable lyrics that give me Art vibes: "A drug that only worked the first few hundred times." "You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else." "Look at this idiotic fool that you've made me."

LAURA CARROT AS ANTI-HERO "I should not be left to my own devices." Obviously this is Laura lmao she a baddie but she also is a criminal. And does nothing to better herself which honestly good for her bc same. She don't give a fuck and I admire that!! She owns being an anti-hero and she is so real for that. Also just like... the energy of this song truly gives me Laura vibes so there is also that. Other notable lyrics that give me Laura vibes: "One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming." "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me." "The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out 'She's laughing up at us from hell.'"

GOLITAH GOTTIK AS MEAN "Well, you can take me down with just one single blow," I am going to be so real like 70% of me picking this song was the above lyric bc that's so god damn funny when u think of the bible story. but also. much like nezzer Goliath has been through too much... (see medical malpractice) but despite that he really do be out here just living his life and simply does not have time for the haters which is why i picked this song. Other notable lyrics that give me Goliath vibes: "Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me" "I just wanna feel okay again" "All you are is mean and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life"

PA GRAPE AS THE BEST DAY "I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong." I'm gonna be so real my main reason for picking this song is bc it's literally written abt Taylor's mom so obviously in my fucked up little delusional mind Taylor Grape wrote it abt Pa Grape. I will not be taking any criticims at this time. That said, these lyrics are more like... how she would feel abt him vs ones that just exude his aura but yolo. Other notable lyrics that give me Taylor/Pa vibes: "I don't know why all the trees change in the fall, but I know you're not scared of anything at all." "Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay, but I know I had the best day with you today." "And I love you for giving me your eyes, for staying back and watching me shine."

SHANNON CEDRIC UNO SCALLION AS THE 1: "And it's another day waking up alone" Okay so OBVIOUSLY this started as a shitpost bc scallion number one is the 1. HOWEVER. upon reflecting on some of these lyrics I was like... damn i might b on to something. they're sort of just like depressing and cryptic enough, especially out of context and that just felt so perfect for mr uno. Other notable lyrics that give me Uno vibes: "And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow" "In my defense, I have none." "If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?" KILT BAGPIPE RHUBARB AS SHAKE IT OFF "I go on too many dates but I can't make them stay, at least that's what people say," Bro I will not fucking lie. As soon as I started this project I KNEW this mf had to be shake it off. A hot fuckin mess, slutting around, everyone finding him slightly offputting, but he is an unkillable yale man so he is fr just gonna shake it off. Also, so far this has easily been the one that I hard the hardest time narrowing it down to just four lyrics bc inside and out this song is Kilt all over lmaaaao (derogatory?) Just know that I decided to not put any lyrics from the chorus bc they all fit too well lmfao. Other notable lyrics that give me Kilt vibes: "But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving." "I never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet." "but I'm just gonna shake to the fella over there with the hella good hair."

TOM GRAPE AS CLOSURE "I'm fine with my spite." okay this song is basically abt someone trying to give closure and this one mf being like nah, i'm good. which to me is so tom. he does NOT need that closure. he's good bein a spiteful little sour grape (which i love for him) but honestly king of not needing the mushy shit. ofc some of this is taken from his relationship with his estranged sister taylor grape but i mean how could i not. Other notable lyrics that give me Tom vibes: "Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled." "I know that it's over, I don't need your closure." "Reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me, but it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary."

EGG BOY AS IT'S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND "'Wanna hang out?' Yeah, sounds like fun." okay so my otp: bathroom eggs ass was ofc fully thinking of that when i chose songs for each of them (see bathroom girls for a similar note) but also this song was specifically Egg Boy to me bc... u know what. he DOES think it's nice to have a friend. he's a silly goofy guy who loves his eggs and this song gives me energy of like childhood nostalgia and that is so him and bathroom girl coded to ME. Other notable lyrics that give me Egg Boy vibes: "School bell rings, walk me home, sidewalk chalk covered in snow." "Light pink sky up on the roof, sun sinks down, no curfew." "You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too."

VICKI CUCUMBER AS BETTER THAN REVENGE "I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey." I MEEEEEEAN was there even really another option!! Miss steal your man had her man STOLE! a sneaky little bitch (affectionate). I truly feel like there is not much else to say bc the energy of this song is just SO vicki to me. Like this BELONGS to her. Much like Kilt it was SO HARD for me to narrow it down to just four lyrics but i hope u enjoy the ones a pick. Other notable lyrics that give me Vicki vibes: "She took him faster than you could say sabotage." "She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it" "You might have him, but I'll always get the last word." SCOOTER CARROT AS THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS "I'm shaking my head, I'm locking the gates" i have to be so fucking honest rn. I picked Scooter for this song bc this song makes me want to go to a boujee ass hollywood party and get into multiple fist fights with multiple a-listers and honestly i think I would like scooter to be there with me when i do it. He's got just the right amount of spite to help me out. not to mention in soc everyone thought he died so he's got some vengeance in him. me and moyer the destroyer kickin leo dicaprio's ass as god intended. Other notable lyrics that give me Scooter vibes: "This is why we can't have nice things, darling, because you break them, I had to take them away." "And so I took an axe to a mended fence." "Here's a toast to my real friends, they don't care about the he said, she said."

[wanderingmind867]

My Rant against SNL: Part 1

I don't like SNL, and I'm going to try and dissect why. This will be divided into three parts. Part 1 will cover SNL from 1975 to 2000 or so (Warning: I've only seen episodes from seasons 2-3, 6, 10 and some compilation videos from this era). Part 2 will cover SNL from 2000-Present (Really, it'll be focused on 2018 to Present, as that's the only era of SNL I've seen on TV/remembered seeing). And Part 3 will be my angry rant about Lorne Michaels. Let's start, shall we?

Part 1: SNL's First 30 Years I've only seen some of SNL's earliest years, but even the stuff I've seen has been a very mixed bag. I've seen like 5 episodes from seasons 2-3 of the show, and only one was good all the way through. I am inclined to blame the writers for this, cause most of their performers seem really good and funny. But they clearly were dealt a bad hand by their writers, who wildly swing from good to terrible.

I've seen two other 1970s Sketch Shows (SCTV and The Carol Burnett Show) and both were funnier. SCTV had a lot more consistent level of quality in it's first two seasons (I've found season 3 slightly more iffy), and The Carol Burnett Show was always fun (I've seen episodes from every season, pretty much). Those shows both had one thing that SNL has always lacked: Consistency. SNL has never been consistent. In one episode alone, there'll usually be like 3-4 good things and 5 bad things. With SCTV and The Carol Burnett Show, I never had that problem. It's unique to SNL.

Really, SNL's writers just seem worse. They certainly didn't write at a consistent quality, like the writers at SCTV did. And that's a real shame, because both shows had an origin in the Chicago theatre circuit. But somehow, one was just vastly superior.

My least favorite performer from that era was John Belushi. He was loud and obnoxious, and not in a funny way. He's the worse Chris Farley. (I'm a bit biased because my mom liked Chris Farley, however). I still think it's a deep shame he died so young, but I'll save my vitriol there for my segment on Lorne Michaels.

Also, SNL was too surreal for me. SCTV was more story based, even if it only had a loose story. That may have helped as well.

Anyways, let's move to season 6. I only saw 1 episode of season 6, and it wasn't bad. I didn't laugh uproariously a lot, but it was pretty good. I honestly like Jean Doumanian and Dick Ebersol a hell of a lot more than Lorne Michaels. Poor Jean was dealt a bad hand, and that's all there is to it.

Besides, her cast was pretty good. Joe Piscopo was very funny, and Eddie Murphy was also always funny. Gilbert Gottfried was amazing, and Charles Rocket wasn't as bad as some make him sound. It was hard to differentiate between the three girls (besides Denny Dillion, because she was blond and the other two were brunette or something), but they all seemed okay. Certainly not as bad as the press made them out to be.

[jellybeanium124]

I am growing more certain by the hour this is the worst kind of smear campaign. I've linked a few posts here that explain things and include transcripts of the podcast. Be aware the third one is a direct transcript of what was said and does go into detail. But this is very far from a cut and dried case of rape, assault, or even grooming.

https://www.tumblr.com/procrastiel/755074839055859712

https://www.tumblr.com/procrastiel/755102212391337985/agreed

https://www.tumblr.com/portraitofalonelydyke/755098475081908224/i-have-edited-this-post-to-add-more-of-the

One relationship was, per the lady involved, entirely and enthusiastically consensual and mutually enjoyed. The other relationship, also per the lady involved, has one incident of blurry/retracted consent or regret about consenting. One lady was also, in the past, horrified by allegations against Neil made in her name and said at the time her words were being taken out of context and blown out of proportion. No other ex of Neil's this podcast contacted had any negative things to say.

This is not defense, but clarity. Circumstances are not black and white here, everything is incredibly blurry and messy. The source is heavily biased if not outright corrupt and wearing those biases on its sleeve. Both ladies contradict themselves and their own texts, emails, and statements throughout the podcast. If it's not a case of someone's words being twisted in service of an agenda, then it's true and he will be dealt with. But right now? Nothing about this is that clear or simple, especially when the apparent victims themselves state repeatedly in this very podcast that their relationships were consensual.

It is best to either listen to it yourself or read the transcripts linked. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty and this podcast is not doing a good job of that. Final judgement should be withheld until a real investigation is done. It would not be the first time terfs have smeared the reputation of those who stand in opposition to them, if that is what's going on here.

I feel like I've been pretty open to not having a fixed and final opinion yet. my opinion is neither fixed nor final. any legitimate news articles I've read have literally all just been "this is what tortoise whatever reported" with no actual investigation. I mean it is weird of him to immediately start making out and cuddling with his nanny as per his official statement. and imo if you're an author/showrunner, your fans are like your children. in that they will blame all their emotional problems on you and you shouldn't have sex with them. but as a 22yo who is part of old-man-fuckers-not-so-anonymous who finds 50+ men attractive in some asexual sort of way, like... they were old enough to know what they were doing and I think calling what happened "grooming" based on the story so far is so off base and reeks of "adult minors" or some shit.

here's what I think the best and worse case scenarios are atm:

best case scenario: both these women regret giving their consent, tortoise people are blowing shit up to smear him, neil is being entirely honest on his part. conclusion: dude you should not have done that c'mon man that was weird and taking advantage of your position of power but like don't need to fully cancel him.

worst case scenario: he raped those women. if this is the case he's worse than jk rowling imo. she is a hateful, mean, destructive little viper who is ruining people's lives but she's never raped anyone afaik. conclusion: destroy him.

[lost-eternity]

Fandom Matchups -CLOSED-

This is a matchup trade for @fourtyfourcatss. Regular matchups are still closed. Without further ado…

•──⋅☾Cabin 6 - HECATE☽⋅──•

I won’t lie. I struggled with this one. 

I think a large part of it was the fact that I wanted to sort you into Athena’s cabin however, I had just done an Athena matchup so I was slightly biased against doing another. Oop. 

Honestly, it mostly came down to Hecate and Athena for me. After much discussion with a few of my mythology buff friends I eventually settled on Hecate and here’s why.

You see, Hecate is a very tough parent. She expects a lot out of her children. She expects them to dutifully study and hone their craft to meet her high standards. As a result, those who are more likely inclined to cabin #20 would be those who are intelligent, bookish, and most important studious. 

You may be able to see where I encountered some issues here. 

Bookish, intelligent, and studious are all core characteristics of Athena’s children as well. That, paired with your ambition made it very difficult to distinguish between the two. So with such a degree of overlap between the two goddesses and their parental strategies (and the sheer scarcity of canon information on Hecate), I had to extract from the original lore. 

Firstly, and perhaps most importantly, I got the vibe that you were more intellectually inclined than athletically. At least, there were few mentions of sports or physical hobbies in your interests category. I figured that you would have included them if you found them to be an important enough characteristic of your personality or if you valued them at the same level as your intellectual pursuits. Athleticism seems to be in more of Athena’s domain than Hecate’s. 

Also, I think another key distinguishing factor is how you think. 

Athena’s children think more rigidly and tactically. They are focused on that which can be physically observed and oftentimes will outright reject the notion of things that extend metaphysically. Basically, if they cannot see, taste, touch, or smell it, it does not exist. This more close-minded albeit scientific approach to life allows them to be extremely knowledgeable but also can impede on natural creativity. 

Conversely, Hecate’s kids function with a certain degree of flexibility which ultimately promotes their creativity. As the goddess of liminal space, Hecate places heavy value on creativity, thinking outside the box, and decision-making. Hecate’s children are emotionally complex and knowledgeable individuals whose understanding of the world extends into spirituality. They are willing to embrace the unexplainable, willing to acknowledge and work with the metaphysical aspects of the world that someone from Athena’s cabin would simply refuse to acknowledge.  

Think of it like the Hermoine Granger VS Luna Lovegood style of thinking.

I think your mention of intuition is what really prompted me to consider placing you in the latter category of thinking methodology. A strong intuition and inner-directional sense is a core aspect of Hecate’s children. I’d even go so far as to call it the most important aspect shared by all of her children. 

Hecate is the goddess of crossroads after all, helping others make decisions when they come to a metaphorical crossroads in their lives is a core part of her mythos. I imagine this innate directional sense would extend to her children as well.

•──⋅☾Belief Manipulation☽⋅──•

I am going to be a bit more brief with this one as I went a bit overboard on the cabin sorting. I had a lot to say LOL. 

Okay, so this is a fun one. And probably one of the most potent powers I have dealt out so please make use of it wisely. 

I think you would have the power of belief manipulation 

Those with belief manipulation must be of unwavering conviction themselves lest they lose themselves to the potency of their own abilities. But beyond that, they must have a clever tongue and sharp wit. 

Their logical, well-disciplined minds have the ability to shake the foundations of a person’s belief, manipulating it and changing it to suit their narrative. This makes it one of the most powerful abilities one can possess. 

Belief systems are so deeply ingrained in a person’s psyche that the manipulation of it can change who that person is on a fundamental level. So much about what someone says and does is motivated by the beliefs they hold. To change that is to change them. 

Sure, you can use this ability for hijinks and scandals such as making a famous politician believe themselves to be a dog on national television- or you could use it to topple nations and shatter the foundations of societal framework. 

The choice is up to you. 

Weaknesses:

Must be in the sightline and earshot of the desired target. Earlier stages of this ability even requires physical touch. 

Difficult to undo once done. 

Certain limitations are present as a belief can be dispelled if physical, tangible evidence is presented to the target suggesting something contrary to the instilled belief. However, this depends on the target in question as some people are more susceptible to unquestioning faith than others (it is not easy to change people’s minds). 

[joonsytip]

and SAM IS BACK WITH ANOTHER HIT EVERYBODY STAND UP AND CLAPPPPP 👏👏👏👏 lemme start off with SEUNGCHEOL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? we love a clear headed best friend!! loved his entrance and how we got to know a bit of jeonghan's backstory through him. although i'm really hoping to see an ending with jeonghan, it still hurt seeing dk getting rejected like, how can you say no to him?? needless to say mc dealt with it perfectly and was so sweet to him, really hope to see him with someone else and happy in the end 💗💗 and the man of the hour himself, jeonghan??? oh i was eating it up, i'm so glad you made him into this super lovesick fool chasing mc around everywhere (bc i'm slightly biased and love that trope) !!!! like leaving her roses everyday??? 🤭🤭 although i do think that 2 years is a long ass time and he's gonna have to put A LOT of effort into trying to make up for them, i do like seeing him try and genuinely realizing what he lost and what could've been (thanks cheol, this is why you're the leader). also joshua and chaein are going to need to STEP BACK from jihoon, i am also running for that man's hand in marriage, he takes everything into account and actually gave mc an unbiased take of the situation!! (also are dk and chaein gonna be a thing bc ;))))). going for the childhood best friend was actually a smart decision on jh's part because he knows he can't make it right with her if he doesn't with the ones around her too. i love the wise protectiveness minghao has of her, kind of like she's actually his sibling. (also congrats on the baby <3) and finally that ending was just the best thing ever like, yes mc get back at him, move tf out of there, you deserve better, she needs to seriously realize what she's worth and how much of her life and of herself she wasted on him. i'm glad she's kind of putting herself first although it may hurt her a little bit, i don't think she could genuinely get into a relationship without processing everything she's been through and actually analyzing her situation so i'm glad she's distancing herself!!! and i totally understand her apprehensiveness when it comes to jh's ulterior motives, after two years of unabashedly loving someone and doing everything for them you stop, leave for a week and they're saying they love you?? nah i wouldn't believe it either.

just mentioning that again i love your writing, it's so captivating and easy to read and get immersed into!

thank you for another amazing chapter 💗💗

YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT HOW THIS IS MAKING ME GRIN MASSIVELY???

AND I'VE READ IT LIKES 100 TIMES????

PLEASE I WANNA HAVE A THOROUGH DISCUSSION WITH YOU ON ALL THE CHARACTERS OF TSD. BE MY GOSSIP PAL???

AND AND AND THANKS A LOT FOR GIVING YOUR INSIGHTS, BCOZ IT'S ALWAYS INTRIGUING TO KNOW THINGS FROM A READER'S ASPECT.

[knifefightscene]

not entirely sure how this will be received but. Sometimes you are in your own way. To me that’s such a fucked yo and hard thing to hear, as someone who’s gone through abuse and other traumatic things. I didn’t want to admit that I have responsibility in my own mental well being (Which should be an empowering thing, if you think about it) I think for so long I felt as though I was a culmination of things that happened to me, and that I would always be. But the reality is that no one sees that when they see you. No one knows your pain but you. You’re a clean slate to everyone you know, and more importantly, people will just think you’re quite and that’s that. People have their own lines of rumination and lines of mental jargon going on to keep tabs about “What’s wrong/bad abt you”. Allow yourself to exist and let yourself be free of negative self thinking cycles if that’s what’s in your way. I’m in no way free of this myself but I’ve had time to actually realize my own part in staying in a mindset that does not serve me, or is remotely true. I use to not be able to leave my house and up until recently have a job where I was around anyone because I was so afraid of people and felt so horribly mentally that I thought that they MUST know that I was fuxked up and not someone they would want to talk to. But the reality was they didn’t know any of that, I was closing myself off to people and made myself unapproachable which fed into the “No one likes me/no one wants to talk to me” and it’s still so hard but changing how I behave and learning to ignore biased negative thoughts bout myself has really lessened the stress and depression that I had. Another thing is, that depression is symptom that can come from so many diff scenarios (In my case my depression was due to my extreme anxiety) but in other peoples cases it is genetic, (My boyfriends cousin has dealt w/ being severely suicidal most of her life and is now doing amazing by finding meds that work for her) and ofc evironmwntal factors/trauma. Whatever the case it’s horrible for someone to have to experience but what’s worse is believing that there’s no way it could get better, I honestly think this prolongs it but it’s hard to accept or see that type of reality if it’s not worked on. And this doesn’t magically happen. Once you begin to even try to think things can be better or that you could shape your behaviors differently than how you have been it’s going to feel fake. It’s going to feel uncomfortable and unreal and when I was told this advice by my therapist I just didn’t believe him and it made me angry to be honest. I was like. that just sounds like the stupidest fake shit I ever heard. And it did feel like that. I’m still dealing w/ a lot of things like housing insecurity + being post car accident but I can’t imagine how I would be doing if I hadn’t at least done these things. This isn’t supposed to be mean btw I know it might not be something you’d like to hear but seeing your posts transported me to before I had done these things and I just wanted to pass this on, I really believe you won’t feel this way forever. ok i’m fucking awf now

I feel like you’re telling me to be one of those manifestation girl and i am sorry it is not for me. Being delusional is more painful than depression and sadness can ever be.

[independentzaun]

✘ Have you ever had doubts when it comes to raising Jinx? (for Silco)

My muse has to tell nothing but the truth for 10 asks.

Ask them funny questions, get personal, query about the people around them or pester them for their deepest darkest secrets - go wild! Include ✘ with the asks! Still accepting 1 out of 10:

“Hmmm that’s a very open ended question. I can’t help but wonder what you mean by “when it comes to raising Jinx” really. My own efforts, or how I did it, or raising her period, or… well I’m not quite sure what you mean to ask. What I can say without any hesitation at all is I do not regret it one bit, and if I went back to face the option of once again raising her or leaving her on the street I’d take her into home and heart without question.” Leaning back a bit Silco ran a hand over his hair as he considered the question posed. “Obviously I am biased, and she’s perfect just the way she is. However have I ever had any doubts? In her, never. Jinx has always been who, and what she was supposed to be. My perfect little predator, and the queen she is. In myself though...yes.” Reaching out he poured himself a bit of whiskey, and took a sip from it.

“She is after all a rather unique person, and monster. It took time for me to figure out how best to care for her, and comfort her and encourage her. Sometimes I doubted my ability to properly connect to her as it had been years since I last dealt closely with a child. In the end though I simply…” Voice trailing off for a moment Silco seemed lost in thought before shrugging.

“Accepted, and cared for her and gave her attention. Much in the same way that perhaps I myself would have once wished for.” Thinking of the past he remembered nights of nightmares during which he would comfort and reassure her. Jinx’s yelling or screaming breakdowns, and the times holding her as she clawed at his arms. The gifts she made for him, or delivered. The smiles Jinx offered true and real to him, and the little touches back and forth. Him allowing Jinx to help with his injection, and late night trips to the kitchen to cook pancakes. A thousand little details had him offer a soft little smile as he downed the last of his whiskey.

“There is one thing I have not doubted for years now however. At first this was not the case, but for years now if there was one thing I have been sure about it’s that I am her father, and I would burn down the world for her if she but asked.”

[discyours]

Long ask incoming. Hello, I had a question to ask. I'm asking here since I know radfem blogs can be biased and I'm not looking for an exclusively anti-male response, I think. I know you're not really ex-radfem in the way one might expect, but I thought you'd understand the dilemma better. TW: I did talk about some trauma here, not with the intent to trauma-dump but to give context. Hope that's okay. The question/thought: How much does trauma shape someone into being gender non-conforming? I wonder if many of us are gender conforming have trauma that make it hard for us to integrate into society, and we've had to cope by adopting masculine (or feminine for men) personas.

I'm a young woman who had an adverse childhood. Ever since I was a child, I had a negative association with being female due to the unfair expectations placed upon me as the only daughter with two brothers. I also had a difficult relationship with both parents, who never dealt with their own traumas. My mother didn’t teach me much about being a woman beyond what was expected of a wife, and she would comment to her friends about me being masculine. She even objectified me to them, which made me feel uncomfortable. My father was the typical angry, verbally abusive, and sometimes creepy man, hurting me more times than I can count. I grew to resent both of them.

Growing up in that environment, I adopted a masculine persona to survive. In my mid-teens, I identified as male to escape my trauma and social expectations but it fell through. I switched to radical feminism which gave me a lot to think of but also worsened my discomfort/dislike of being female. It didn’t offer any real solutions for living a fulfilling life while being aware of the challenges women face. I still felt bad.

Now, I feel stuck. I want to be appealing to men, but I hate the expectations placed on me as a woman and the fact that only men get to live in their natural state without consequences. Am I being unreasonable? I know men can’t control what they’re attracted to, but I also can’t accept the idea that it’s normal for women to have to modify themselves to be accepted. How do I balance my desire to live authentically with the reality of these expectations? PS: Your post about the radfem to tradfem pipeline resonated with me. I was dabbling with tradcon content after I left and it was okay for some time but I'm back in the funk since I can't be like them. It's way too uncomfortable. I'm a straight woman, by the way. What do I do?

I feel like it's reasonable to assume that trauma can make some people more resistant to social norms (as rejecting them feels like a form of regaining control over their lives/bodies) and femininity can be one of those social norms, but it still feels weird to say "gender nonconformity can be a trauma response" because that poses it as a contrast to the "healthy" default, and there is obviously nothing inherently healthy about performing femininity. It's also pretty common to go the other way and be more comfortable with putting on a mask of femininity than the average person would be, whether it be because of trauma of feeling punished for nonconformance, feeling more protected with a more artificial appearance, or just dissociating to the point where altering themselves to fit the societal ideal doesn't feel like it has any downsides. I'm in that position as I'm answering this so if you were hoping for an answer from a GNC woman I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you.

I have to admit I do not understand your dilemma of wanting to be attractive to men but not wanting to alter yourself. Isn't male sexualisation virtually inescapable? I don't actually know any "category" of women who are universally unattractive to men. Most straight men will state that they prefer for women to shave their body hair and "put some effort into their appearance", will pretend that this is a neutral preference not influenced by society, and will present this unsolicited opinion to women who are not even remotely trying to seduce them, which is endlessly frustrating. But there's also always the men who announce the fact that they do find [pubic hair/overweight women/missing limbs/being 4'8 or 6'5/being a misandrist/having chron's disease/working a blue collar job/only showering once a week/exclusively wearing men's clothes/literally anything else on the planet that you can think of] extremely attractive. Surely there's plenty of straight men who fall somewhere inbetween the categories of fetishising gender nonconformity and being outright disgusted by it? Maybe I'm biased because a lot of the male attention I've received in my life has been unwanted but I just cannot imagine feeling the need to put effort into attracting straight men as a woman. They're attracted to virtually anything with a vagina, not just ultra artificial performances of femininity.

[darkfeanix]

Feanix Reads Dragon Age Comics

#4: Magekiller

What possible reason could I have for reading Magekiller the day before Thedas Tuesday? I don't know what you're implying, nevermind, this was a completely unrelated decision I made.

You can find my thoughts on the previous comic arcs by clicking this link to go to my #feanix reads dragon age comics tag.

Magekiller thoughts below the cut.

Magekiller (I)

So, odds are I will not be reading all of the Dragon Age comics before The Veilguard comes out. Let’s not dwell on it and instead get right to this comic. We’re opening with some bloodletting, which is rarely a good sign in Dragon Age. The fact that it is self-inflicted could mean we’re dealing with a responsible blood mage, a la Merrill, but the man in shackles on page 2 would suggest otherwise.

“Show me a mage who doesn’t want more power… and I’ll show you one of the Tranquil. Either that or I’ll show you a corpse.”

Well, first of all: Wynne, and also Connor Guerrin while we’re at it. Second of all, that’s a deliberately misleading statement. Power can mean different things to different people. Just thinking about mages in general?

For mages like Jowan, Anders, and Vivienne, power is freedom and safety. They have very different ideas of how to get that power, and what freedom and safety mean, but all three have similar motivations.

For Merrill, power is a means to an end, with that end being unlocking a fraction of a fraction of her people’s history. Power for its own sake is meaningless to her.

So yeah, maybe take a look at your personal biases before you go and make blanket statements like that again, Tessa.

ON MARIUS: “He’s precise. He’s careful. He can even be merciful. Nothing is personal. It’s always professional. It’s a job, nothing more. A very difficult job… that has to be done right. He takes no pleasure in it. He doesn’t even seem to take satisfaction from a job well done. There are times, I swear by Andraste’s Grace… there are times when he seems genuinely sorrowful, times when I wonder why he does it at all. Some people deliver death with glee. They’re seeking revenge, or their own power, or a thrill. I had to learn how to do this job. I’m the one does the talking, finds the work, sets the terms. He had to teach me the dirty end of the business, that’s what I’m saying. But for him, it’s like he’s always known. It’s what he was made for. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to do anything else… For the rest of us, we imagine we have a choice, I suppose. For Marius, I don’t think he even sees a choice. I think he believes this is all he is. All he can ever be.”

Okay, I’m interested. And I’ll be honest, I definitely find him attractive, in that “dark haired, blue eyed broken male protagonist” kind of way.

Is that Swords and Shields by master auteur Varric Tethras?

Tessa having the entire conversation by herself while Marius stands there brooding is very funny. And also I must admit I am quite fond of her design as well.

I’m getting serious Batman vibes from this shot. Or one of the Robins? Nightwing maybe? Or Red Hood. I’ll be honest, I don’t read Batman comics, so I don’t know which one.

Calling Minrathous the last place one wants to be when you make your living killing mages makes me chuckle and think of Lucanis.

Oh damn, it’s only the bloody Archon who actually wants to hire Marius!

Magekiller (II)

Archon Radonis giving me serious Jafar vibes with his outfit, except… more. Jafar goes to bed at night and dreams about being Archon Radonis.

I do love me some shameless displays of powerful magic, even if Radonis is probably one of the worst people in Thedas. I doubt one becomes the ruler of the Tevinter Imperium by being a good guy. Also, he just straight up addresses Marius as “slave”, so he’s not doing anything to improve Tevinter’s image problem.

Oooh, he wants to Venatori dealt with. Interesting. I guess he recognises a threat to his power and doesn’t want them getting any bigger.

I feel like whoever wrote this script put a lot of weird emphasis on words in the dialogue. Half of it feels like emphasis for emphasis’s sake, without really contributing to the conversation.

Oh, who’s this?

Calpernia! Hi Calpernia! What a coincidence seeing you in this comic. I’m sure I had no idea you’d be here.

Gosh, look at that hug, at that smile. Listen, I just really like Calpernia as a character, okay? And we’ll probably never get anymore content for her because she’s one of two exclusive bosses in the game, and in the worldstate where she is the boss, there’s a possibility she’ll die. Or at least, have an implied offscreen death. Hmmm…

Anyway, let’s get back on track.

Tessa interrupting their kiss, ha! And then she’s like, “Yeah, there’s really nothing I can say to this, is there?” That’s a remarkably sensible attitude for a character in a Dragon Age comic.

OMiGosh! It shows the Breach opening? I’d completely forgotten that. Great way to conclude part 2.

Magekiller (III)

It only just occurred to me that Radonis sent Marius and Tessa after the Venatori before Corypheus attacked the Conclave. They cut off multiple heads of the beast before Corypheus even got his plan off the ground. He really is just the worst at being the big bad, isn’t he?

“They say the Maker has abandoned us all. But… some people still have hope. They speak of the Inquisition. They speak of what happened in Redcliffe.”

Wait, what happened in Redcliffe? Is this confirmation that Bioware’s comic canon has the Inquisitor recruiting the mages? I can’t think of anything else happening in Redcliffe around this time that would inspire hope.

Marius, this is the second time in the series you’ve been set on fire.

Marius stop getting set on fire, please.

I really adore the relationship between Tessa and Marius. The teasing is delightful, and the dedication is beautiful. The sweet little forehead kiss when he falls asleep before she even gets through one page of the book. They’re just so adorable!

That’s no Tevinter assassin - I’d recognise the uniform of the Inquisition anywhere!

“There is no such thing as a nice assassin.”

I beg to differ, mysterious Inquisition agent. Zevran was an absolute delight.

Hehe, knife play.

It's Charter! Hi, Charter!

Magekiller (IV)

Ooh, Leliana on the cover.

Tessa’s report to Charter is a delight to read. (When does she get a code name, Charter? Inquiring minds would like to know!) Also, single panel cameo from Inquisition advisors! Hi guys! Hope you’re doing well.

“Assets allocated. En route from Skyhold, arrival imminent.”

How imminent, exactly? I’m pretty sure you don’t have an eluvian yet. Did the Inquisition find a different means of teleportation when I wasn’t looking?

(*weeps in how the hell does the Inquisition move from one side of the continent to the other so quickly?*)

Are Tessa and Charter flirting via Inquisition reports? That really seems like flirting!

Interesting that the writers chose Dorian and the Bull’s Chargers, instead of Iron Bull and the Bull’s Chargers.

Including the dialogue on this rare occasion because it needs to be read and enjoyed. Love you, Dalish!

Marius, again with the being set on fire? At least this time he’s apparently been given something that prevents it from harming him. And it sure has given the Venatori the shock of their lives.

Love that Leliana is so awesome that she gets the cover even though she has exactly three lines of dialogue in the last two panels of the whole issue. Heck yeah, Sister Nightingale!

Magekiller (V)

Great opening, with some great insights into Marius’s character. I’d forgotten that they became official agents of the Inquisition; I thought they stayed just mercenaries for the full comic, but I like that Marius actually finds a purpose and something to believe in.

Also, Tessa and Charter are definitely having sexy times, yes?

KISS, KISS, KISS!

Aww, I think they might be in love, guys! Charter asks her to come back safe, and Tessa is caught up in her feelings, and its so sweet. I have no memory of how this ends, they better make it back to each other. You hear me, writers? Chartessa is endgame now.

“… We just helped save the world.”

Yes, you did.

Perfect ending, to be quite honest. Their shared smiles, as the fight with Corypheus takes place overhead. Just lovely.

Final Thoughts

I enjoyed this series a lot more than the previous comics. Maybe because they’re focused on new or minor characters, or some other thing that I’m too tired to really contemplate.

Tessa and Marius were really fun characters, and I loved their dynamic. And I thoroughly enjoyed Tessa’s narration, from start to finish. The subplot with her and Charter’s romance was like icing on the cake.