#open society foundations
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the-garbanzo-annex-jr · 7 months ago
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By Isabel Vincent
The cash from Soros and his acolytes has been critical to the Columbia protests that set off the national copycat demonstrations.
Three groups set up the tent city on Columbia’s lawn last Wednesday: Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP), Jewish Voice for Peace (JVP) and Within Our Lifetime.
At the “Gaza Solidarity Encampment,” students sleep in tents apparently ordered from Amazon and enjoy delivery pizza, coffee from Dunkin���, free sandwiches worth $12.50 from Pret a Manger, organic tortilla chips and $10 rotisserie chickens.
An analysis by The Post shows that all three got cash from groups linked to Soros. The Rockefeller Brothers Fund also gave cash to JVP.
The fund is chaired by Joseph Pierson, and includes David Rockefeller Jr, a fourth-generation member of the oil dynasty, on its board of directors. The non-profit gives money to “sustainable development” and “peace-building.”
And a former Wall Street banker, Felice Gelman, a retired investment banker who has dedicated her Wall Street fortune to pro-Palestinian causes, funded all three groups.
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17Free sandwiches from upscale takeout joint Pret a Manger are on offer at the encampment, worth up to $12, and $10 rotisserie chickens. Cash for the encampment has come from billionaire investor George Soros.NYPJ
Both SJP and JVP were expelled from Columbia University in November for “threatening rhetoric and intimidation.” JVP blamed Israel for the Oct 7 Hamas terrorist attack that left 1,200 Israelis dead.
“Israeli apartheid and occupation — and United States complicity in that oppression — are the source of all this violence,” JVP said in a statement on its website.  
SJP called the terrorist strike on Israel “a historic win.”
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17Also on offer for the thirsty anti-Israeli protesters camped out at Columbia is free coffee from Dunkin’. Behind the scenes, the groups organizing the encampment have received cash from Soros and another former Wall Street banker.NYPJ
An analysis by The Post shows how Soros and Gelman’s cash made its way to the students through a network of nonprofits that help obscure their contributions.
Soros has given billions to the Open Society Foundations which his son Alexander — whose partner is Huma Abedin, Hillary Clinton’s top aide and the estranged wife of pervert Anthony Weiner — now controls.
In turn, Open Society has given more than $20 million to the Tides Foundation, a progressive nonprofit “fiscal sponsor” that then sends the cash to smaller groups.
Those groups include A Jewish Voice for Peace, which between 2017 and 2022 has received $650,000 from Soros’ Open Society. Its advisers include the academic Noam Chomsky and the left-wing feminist author Naomi Klein.
JVP has been a prominent part of the protests at Columbia and one of its student members was among a group expelled from the university for inviting the leader of a proscribed terrorist group, Khaled, to the “Resistance 101” Zoom meeting.
Soros has also donated $132,000 to WESPAC, called in full the Westchester People’s Action Coalition Foundation.
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eretzyisrael · 8 months ago
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By Rich Calder and Matthew Sedacca
Far-left billionaire kingmaker George Soros has funneled more than $15 million since 2016 to groups behind this month’s pro-Palestine protests, where demonstrators openly cheered Hamas militants’ craven terrorist attacks on Israel.
A Post examination of Open Society Foundations records shows Soros’ grant-making network gave $13.7 million of the money through Tides Center, a deep-pocketed lefty advocacy group that sponsors several nonprofits who’ve justified Hamas’ bloody attacks while claiming Palestinians obsessed with the eradication of the Jewish state are the real victims.
Tides’ beneficiaries include Illinois-based Adalah Justice Project, which on the day of the Oct. 7 massacre posted a photo on Instagram of a bulldozer tearing part of Israel’s border fence down and a caption: “Israeli colonizers believed they could indefinitely trap two million people in an open-air prison… no cage goes unchallenged.”
Members of the Palestinian advocacy group occupied California Rep. Ro Khanna’s office on Oct. 20 to demand he sign a resolution calling for ceasefire in Gaza. Adalah’s members also co-sponsored a rally that same day in Bryant Park where hostile demonstrators spewed antisemitic chants and waved a sign that read “I DO NOT CONDEMN HAMAS.”
It also gave $30,000 in 2020 to Desis Rising Up and Moving, another co-sponsor of the Bryant Park protest where 139 people were arrested, financial records show.
Open Society Foundations gave $60,000 in 2018 to the Arab American Association of New York, a group co-founded by politically connected activist Linda Sarsour that helped plan a hate-filled “Flood Brooklyn for Palestine” protest in Bay Ridge on Oct. 21, where protestors called for the eradication of Israel and held a sign of the Israeli flag in a trash basket that read “Please keep the world clean!”
Open Society Foundations also awarded $1.5 million to Adalah’s founding nonprofit, Adalah – The Legal Center for Arab Minority Rights in Israel, but only $800,000 of it was received before the legal center cut ties with the American organization in 2018. The legal center says its mission is to promote human rights in Israel.
Other Soros-backed, Palestinian advocacy groups whose members have been spewing hate at rallies since the massacre include Jewish Voice for Peace and If Not Now, which received $650,000 and $400,000, respectively.
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zee-man-chatter · 1 year ago
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Biden's puppet master. The comments at the end of this article show people aren't fooled anymore into believing their representatives represent them.
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elsolaer · 1 year ago
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i have many thoughts in general but this tidbit from tingyun's voice lines is one of the things i wanna elaborate some more on at some point...
" Every time I head out, I leave a letter behind and lock it in the drawers of my shop. If I come back, then I'll burn it later. If I don't... then it'll be something for others to remember me by."
#OOC.#this post is more of a reminder to myself before i go try to write some stuff for nat and/or stelle#but idk i like her concept of being pacifistic despite the inherent dangers of her position as... basically a galactic ambassador?#it says that most reps take weapons with them but she refuses to because she believes that you should build relationships from a foundation#of peace instead of threat of violence#which has worked in her favor but idk its kinda sombering knowing that she basically leaves her last words in a letter every time sh#e leaves for another planet to do her job because she knows shes leaving herself vulnerable if somebody wanted to do something to hurt her#and she burns it every time she comes back only to rewrite it again months later when she goes on her next trip#xi.anzhou's lore is ROUGH dont get me wrong but theres a lot of fun concepts in there that im smashing together LMAO#also her traveling the way she does opens up so much room to meet literally anybody#its just jarilo-vi right now but as more worlds open up it just gives her more room to work with#also the fact that it opens up a lot of possiblities for world building for her to come to these planets because she's there ON business an#trade & commerce is one of the BIGGEST things a society needs. one decision could steer the entire direction of their society in a complete#y different direction#like even just introducing more leisurely/hobby focused products can be a huge turning point for a war stricken world#or better materials for their tech and their buildings#new crops in exchange for what they have#literally the exchange we see in her lore is her discussing taking just a few samples of a world's plants and growing it on xianzhou for#commercial sale AND that world would recieve shipments of said crops along with wahtever other deals they struck#and blablabla yes i know capitalism whatever. tis the way of the world and i think its really interesting frmo a worldbuilding standpoint#tingyuns a very interesting character because she can change a lot of things in very little time in the big picture#i feel like she's commonly brushed off as a shallow character who doesnt do much but she's one of the most accomplished characters in xian#zhou EASILY#yes you could argue that jing yuan is more because of his general shit or yukong is the helm master blablabla like Yes they are also very#accomplished but she is the literal only reason that the grand fairs are FAMOUS throughout the galaxy. they werent until she took leadershi#she's completed trade missions to SIXTEEN different panets and is implied to have formed alliances with at least a few of them#and was the one to renew xianzhou's mutual alliance with the IPC#i dunno#also i think people see her as way more of a trickster than she is#like ... i thought she was too but she really isn't particularly mischevious? girls tried to leave MULTIPLE times during the story bc she
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aphrodeiities · 4 months ago
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ᴅᴏᴍɪᴄɪʟᴇ, ᴇxᴀʟᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴅᴇᴛʀɪᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴀʟʟ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇᴛꜱ
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beginning with domicile planets, whenever a planet is in domicile, it means that the sign is in a planet that rules the sign ⬎
SUN ⟶ LEO.
MOON ⟶ CANCER.
MERCURY ⟶ GEMINI AND VIRGO.
VENUS ⟶ TAURUS AND LIBRA.
MARS ⟶ ARIES AND SCORPIO.
JUPITER ⟶ SAGITTARIUS AND PISCES.
SATURN ⟶ CAPRICORN AND AQUARIUS.
URANUS ⟶ AQUARIUS.
NEPTUNE ⟶ PISCES.
PLUTO ⟶ SCORPIO.
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exalted planets happen whens a planet is in a sign it can easily display its energy through.
SUN ⟶ ARIES.
♇  people with an aries sun could find it easier compared to other sun signs to be a leader, knowing how to control their impulses and goals. might have it easy when it comes to support from others
MOON ⟶ TAURUS.
♇ people with a taurus moon could find it easier compared to other moon signs to emotionally nurture themselves and other people. could be talented at styling, baking or cooking. could find it easy to find beauty within themselves.
MERCURY ⟶ VIRGO.
♇ people with a virgo mercury could find it easier compared to other mercury signs to speak to other people, being able to control their anxiety. knowing how to read a room and humour people around them.
VENUS ⟶ PISCES.
♇ people with a pisces venus could find it easier compared to other venus signs to know what type of love they deserve. how to create art and love others. can understand art and beauty better than others and can be empathetic.
MARS ⟶ CAPRICORN.
♇ people with a capricorn mars could find it easier compared to other mars sign to be ambitious, aim for their goals and having discipline. know how to follow rules and be respect by others and being individuals who can be healthy with having authority or they can learn to be, having much responsibilities and knowing what to do with it.
JUPITER ⟶ CANCER.
♇ people with a cancer jupiter are very empathetic people, can make a name for themselves and are excellent at creating a foundation, a home to themselves and other people. care-taking and can handle money good.
SATURN ⟶ LIBRA.
♇ people with a libra saturn can be very diplomatic people, can age very beautifully, and are respected by those around them. this placement can indicate that the individual likes peace and can move to social groups who can give them that, know how to cut off people.
URANUS ⟶ SCORPIO.
♇ people with scorpio uranus can be very imaginative and psychic, they know how to follow their gut-feeling and are excellent at being friends as they can be ride or dies. those with this placement can be people who always find a way to make money, could be considered a genius.
NEPTUNE ⟶ LEO.
♇ people with leo neptune can be amazing performers, the stage is for them, i believe the iconic stars we know who have passed do have leo neptune. they are the most photographed people as well, people who belong to leo neptune are people who can connect with others very easily, thus their fame.
PLUTO ⟶ LEO AND ARIES.
♇ people with leo or aries pluto are innovative and assertive, leaders who can make a change and have influence to the people around them. can be very trendy people and could always leave a mark when they leave.
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planets in detriment move differently to how a planet in a sign is supposed to, it could be difficult for the native to express the themes of the planet through the sign, but they end up having a unique perspective of it that amazes others at the end. the planets are normally in opposite signs they usually rule.
SUN ⟶ AQUARIUS.
♇ instead of thinking of self, aquarius suns are people who think for everyone. being those who are humanitarians and seeing the true potential of the world. they bring out the unique side of themselves society arent used to, but because of this they become trendsetters.
MOON ⟶ CAPRICORN.
♇ instead of being emotionally open, capricorn moons must learn how to love thyself. and during that time of loving themselves, they become emotionally wise and can teach others how to do the same, the love they werent necessarily taught, can be given and taught to their children, if they want them.
MERCURY ⟶ SAGITTARIUS AND PISCES.
♇ instead of being direct and forward, [even though sagittarius mercuries can be] people who are sagittarius and pisces mercuries learn to read between the lines. being those who can decipher the unseen and because of that and of their depth, they can come up with think-pieces people have not heard before.
VENUS ⟶ ARIES AND SCORPIO.
♇ instead of being soft and stereotypically "feminine" those of aries or scorpio venus learn to be bold with their passion and their sense of style. they're people who learn to handle and balance the feminine and masculine essence, being innovative and authentic with how they display themselves, they usually inspire other people and become muses in fashion.
MARS ⟶ LIBRA AND TAURUS.
♇ instead of being tough and stereotypically "masculine" those of libra and taurus mars learn to be diplomatic with their anger and passion. thought sometimes this could lead them into being passive and non-confrontational. this placement[s] helps them become people who are very patient.
JUPITER ⟶ GEMINI AND VIRGO.
♇ by not being the usual people who are used to abundance, those with gemini and virgo jupiter can be over-whelmed by how fast life moves around them, however it helps them with multi-tasking, being people who can ease the fast thoughts in their mind, if not careful, they can become people who are too relaxed with how life is and end up stalling.
SATURN ⟶ CANCER AND LEO.
♇ by not being the usual people who are used to comfort and nurture, those with cancer and leo in saturn learn to become nurturers and emotionally intelligent. at first, they can be awkward with signs of physical affection, but they go through the journey of loving their body, their inner-child and the lessons life has taught them about self-acceptance.
URANUS ⟶ LEO.
♇ by not being the usual people who are used to society accepting who they are, people with uranus in leo learn to navigate life with comprehending that not everyone is going to love them because of their big energy. they're people who are usually the life of the party, but the uranus in leo puts a social battery in them which causes them to go into hermit mode, but it helps them go on the journey of understanding themselves without the need or help of other people.
NEPTUNE ⟶ VIRGO.
♇ by not being the usual people who are used to order and preciseness, those with neptune in virgo get confused, especially in their mind. could have a lot of deja vu moments that makes them feel crazy. they become more in touch with the spiritual side of life instead of the physical, reaching out to the higher-self and becoming spiritual moguls.
PLUTO ⟶ TAURUS.
♇ by not being the usual people who are used to vast intensity, they are people who have to learn to control their sensuality, their greediness and even possessiveness, this placement is a huge twist to the usual taurus slow-pace, they learn that life doesnt move the way they want it to move and learn to become adaptable in scenarios that involve them thinking quick on their feet.
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when planets are in fall they have to find a different and original way to comprehend themselves, there is a big struggle but they gain knowledge and wisdom through the planet they're in.
SUN ⟶ LIBRA.
♇ those with sun in libra might struggle with finding their place in society, so this can cause them to become people-pleasers and even walking matts to everyone around them. they need to learn to live for themselves and not for the pleasure of other people.
MOON ⟶ SCORPIO.
♇ those with moon in scorpio struggle with finding eternal peace, its chaos in their mind and heart, they're vengeful as they normally interact with people who have malicious intent, could be friends or family members, what they have to do is end the cycle, becoming people who transform the hateful energy into something that is healing and creative for themselves and even other people, that's why a lot of musicians that are mass-liked have a scorpio moon, ex, beyonce, miley cyrus, kali uchis and the weeknd.
MERCURY ⟶ PISCES.
♇ those with mercury in pisces struggle with finding confidence, they might've been people who have been ridiculed and pushed to the side by others who demean their intelligence and their spiritual views in life. thus, becoming people who find their tribe who aid them on their journey of being assured.
VENUS ⟶ VIRGO.
♇ those with venus in virgo struggle with finding their true self, thus their need for perfection in themselves and other people. they have to learn to become less controlling and be pleased and grateful for the things and people in their lives.
MARS ⟶ CANCER.
♇ those with mars in cancer struggle with being assured, always double-backing or stalling in projects they can thrive in. always thinking what they give is the worst, paranoia strikes for cancer martians, so they become dependent to other people to make them confident, finding their individuality is a big theme in their life.
JUPITER ⟶ CAPRICORN.
♇ individuals with jupiter in capricorn normally do have it better than most capricorn in planet placements as jupiter gives it a great boost, however as it is in fall, capricorn jupiter natives learn to be people who build their foundations from the start to the top, having to be people who had to become responsible and serious at a young age, most of their childhood might've been taken away from them, so people with this placement learn to have fun with childhood nostalgia that might've been taken away from them.
SATURN ⟶ ARIES.
♇ individuals with saturn in aries have to learn to be disciplined, with aries being such a fiery and excited sign, [plus even a bit immature], the saturn essence practically forces the sign to take life more seriously, they end up becoming people who start projects and goals and finish them instead of leaving it midway through the process. stepping into the roles of leaders, saturn in aries natives learn to be people who can exercise their authority position towards events that can have them flourish in the future.
URANUS ⟶ TAURUS.
♇ individuals with uranus in taurus learn to be people who are unique with the ideas they come up with, most uranus in taurus people are uncomfortable in this placement, because it goes against everything they're used to, peace? now there's chaos? slowness? now its fast. though this makes them very versatile people, when it comes to cooking, baking, writing and even having a unique singing voice people can recognise.
NEPTUNE ⟶ AQUARIUS.
♇ individuals with neptune in aquarius learn to be those who have to break out of social "norms" that are actually unhealthy, this is why many of them make up worlds in their own mind. it's like a way to be free from what society puts them through, however, the coping mechanism can become toxic as they slowly begin to get trapped in their own minds, being maladaptive day-dreamers and unintentionally stopping themselves from taking on tasks in the real life, unaware with how much time passes by, when they finally snap out of it they realise how much time they have lost that could've been used for them to progress in life, what they need to learn is being able to separate dreams and reality and not fall into their own built matrix.
PLUTO ⟶ LIBRA.
♇ individuals with pluto in libra learn to be people who dont need chaos in their life, learning that being negative is really draining. they then become people who allow life to carry them, being non-confrontational with disasters that happen in front of them, unfortunately this sometimes causes them to be people who do nothing in their life. howbeit, this can manifest into them being people who take control, being leaders, politics and humanitarians, they're a huge force and people can end up fearing/respecting it.
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shut-up-rabert · 2 years ago
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Holy shit Vinod Anna was right
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cursecuelebre · 2 months ago
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Top Recommendations for Norse Pagans that aren’t Problematic.
There is a lot of books by people who are racist and part of far right side of Heathenry and I’m going to try my best and list the books I have that helped me on my path that isn’t problematic and have questionable intentions. Books and YouTube channels.
Anglo Saxon Socerery and Magic by Alaric Albertson. He is very knowledgeable in his work and path especially on runes which includes the rune poem to make your own interpretation and witchcraft side of things. He even talks about the Elves which I appreciate because not a lot of Norse authors talk about them. It’s more Germanic than Norse but I can’t see any problem adopting certain aspects since they are very similar. I will say he does take himself a bit serious at times but his information is so good and worthwhile. I have not read his first book on Travels through middle earth but it focus on more the pagan side.
Poetic Edda and Prose Edda: it’s what every Norse pagan needs. It’s the foundation of Norse paganism not bibles but myths and tales that can help along our journey. There is tons of translations, but my favorites are Dr. Jackson Crawford Poetic Edda and Anthony Fawkes Prose Edda. But look into other sagas as well like Volsung which Dr Jackson Crawford also wrote about.
Beowulf. More of a Germanic tale but again includes it has roots of Germanic sorcery, traditions, religion like the concept of Wyrd (Fate), the runes, and values within his society like loyalty and mythical creatures. Again there is many translations even Jrr Tolkien did a incompleted version of Beowulf but I think Tom Shippey finished that version I could be wrong. Nonetheless explore more than one, the oneI have is by Seamus Heaney.
Grimm Fairy Tales this mostly German Folklore but it’s still quite important to learn about in German folk magic, creatures and entities in German folklore tends to be very real to the practitioner in their spellwork.
The Way of Fire and Ice by Ryan Smith a very progressive outlook in Norse paganism, he talks about creating communities in Norse paganism and calling out and denouncing Nazis in the community how Norse Paganism is inclusive and how to be open to all types of people. But he has a beginner approach to the deities, beliefs, values within Norse paganism.
Look into a lot of academic sources that’s where you will find a lot of information on Norse paganism and religions.
Tacitus Germania - A Roman historian talking about the Germanic tribes their culture and customs.
Saxo Grammaticus history of the Danes
The Viking Way by Neil Price it goes good in depths about magic in Scandinavia like Seidh
Dictionary of Norse Mythology a quick guide to northern myths, if you are trying to find a specific god and you don’t have time to look up in a book it’s in there with great information to each one.
Children of Ask and Elm: History of Vikings by Neil Price on Scandinavian culture during the Viking age
Some YouTube Channels
The Norse Witch: Bente lives in Germany and their channel encompasses all of Norse paganism more around magic. They do interviews with other Norse witches of folk magic like Icelandic and Danish. Even gives good book recommendations and advice on general spellwork as well!.
Dr Jackson Crawford he is an author but he also has a YouTube channel. He was a professor in Colorado on Norse culture, mythology, and language and now is a full time YouTuber. He did a series of videos on the runes which are more historically accurate. Discusses the myths and the language and what do they mean. Jackson Crawford isn’t a Norse pagan nor he doesn’t care if you are one but just letting you know he isn’t coming from a pagan perspective.
The Welsh Viking also like Jackson Crawford but still has really great knowledge on Viking culture.
De Spökenkyker who is a channel that focus on German Folk magic living in Germany who is a practicing German Folk Witch.
Please feel free to add on any recommendations that are helpful and useful to the Norse pagan Community!
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ghostlyferrettarot · 8 days ago
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🩰💛Juno in the Houses💛🩰
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❗️All the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyone❗️
✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!
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🎀Juno, in the sign and house where you have that asteroid in your chart, speaks of your expectations regarding marriage and the type of union you aspire to🎀
💛House 1: You like the idea of ​​playing at being the perfect wife, you make marriage part of your identity, maybe you change your last name for example and you do it with great pride.
💛House 2: For you marriage is a source of economic and material security, you have very practical ideas about it.
💛House 3: You may want to marry someone you have known all your life, with whom you have a lot of trust and excellent communication.
💛House 4: For you marriage may be a family obligation or at least you may feel a lot of pressure from your ancestors to get married. You will also assume it as the foundation of the home, you cannot conceive the idea of ​​being a single mother for example.
💛House 5: Marriage will be something you really enjoy, you will know how to find joy in the long-term relationship and creative ways to keep the union vibrant.
💛House 6: For you marriage is a team and it is very possible that you will end up working with your partner, but even if not, you will feel that at home you are the perfect team.
💛House 7: You may feel that marriage is a way of keeping up appearances or sealing important alliances between families. It sounds medieval, but we see it today as much as in those centuries.
💛House 8: For you, marriage has to be a transformative experience. You may marry several times or experience different “deaths” and “rebirths” within the same relationship.
💛House 9: You idealize marriage and you make a great effort to play by all the rules. Your partner is your mentor or you assume that he or she is a great teacher in life.
💛House 10: Marriage will be something that will make you famous or you will be known in the society in which you find yourself. Perhaps you will marry someone important in the public sphere.
💛House 11: For you, marriage is a way of building a community. It is very important that you share the same ideals with your partner, since common friends or the social environment where you live will be a fundamental element in the relationship.
💛House 12: Perhaps you don't feel like getting married in this life, or you are afraid of the idea because you feel that you would completely lose the limits of your being by merging with another person.
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sxorpiomooon · 7 months ago
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What the houses stand for in astrology
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1st house
- yourself, how you look, how you are perceived, the kind of people you attract the most, your facial features, how you carry yourself, what qualities of yours attract people, views on life.
This is the only house in astrology that is YOU all the other signs and houses represent something in particular but this represents entirely YOU
2nd house
- where your finances will come from, how your finances will come, your good preferences, your tongue, your mouth, your lips, your voice, how you speak and what you speak, what people think of your speech
3rd house
- your siblings, your connection with your siblings, what you think about them, what your neighbours think about you, what your neighbours are like, your communication (writing skills in particular), social life, early education
4th house
- your house, your family, how your house is like, what your house is like, what your family is like, your connection and bond with them, roots, foundation, also women at times
5th house
- your expression, how and why you express yourself, your way of expressing, how your thoughts work, your opinion on arts and creativity, your art, your children, how you are with kids, what kids you will have, romance, love, relationship, self expression, curiosity, memory, studies early education etc
6th house
- health, daily life, enemies, where your health problems come from, what kind of health problems, how you are like in your daily life, what kind of enemies do you have, how do they cause you harm, pets, system, the area that you work in, your surroundings
7th house
- business, partnerships, anything formal even communication, presentation, marriage, open enemies, sharing, what kind of partner you will have, where they might be from
8th house
- anything and everything hidden, stalking, cult, your deepest desires, you deepest secrets, your trauma, sex, shared finances, intimacy, property, contracts, religion.
9th house
- education, what you might like to pursue, if you'll go out for education, short term travel, your intelligence and knowledge, higher education, your wisdom, philosophy, learning.
10th house
- career, reputation, men, family men, authority figure, long term goals and desires, work ethic, structure.
11th house
- friends, internet, things you'll indulge in, society, groups, technology, gains and losses, hope, timing.
12th house
-your subconscious mind, your psyche, your dreams, your deepest dreams, long term travel or settlement, what your birth was like, spirituality, healing, afterlife, limiting beliefs.
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voidsentprinces · 4 months ago
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Reminder: A Realm Reborn wasn't particularly about us. It was about the Eorzean Factions, it was about the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and their interactions with and thwarting Gaius and the XIVth Legion. We were just a useful champion slowly growing to fame but not truly a Warrior of Light until literally the prelude to the Castrum raiding mission.
The Parting of Glass wasn't about us either. It was, once again, about the world. And how it had begun changing after Gaius's fall and the brief period of peace away from Garlemald's Shadow. About Alphinaud beginning his arc of growth with hubris and the creation the Crystal Braves and what it might of looked like IF the Scion's good nature was lent to anyone and everyone. And thus opening itself up to the very corruption Minfilia feared to move away from the Waking Sands and to the Rising Stones in the first place.
Heavensward isn't about us. It is about Alphinaud's continue growth, learning of Ishgard's past and history. Hubris, arrogance and narrow viewing lead Alphinaud to steps of the Foundation, it has lead Estinien astray and made Ysayle believe she is a messiah incarnate. And through the journey, each of them grow as they learn the terrible truth about the Dragonsong War. Estinien in particular has his eyes opened and no longer simply seeks revenge on Nidhogg but to get to the bottom of it all. So no other shepherd's son has to live as he has. Ysayle learns she is a shade and a faux Shiva not truly Hraesvelgr's beloved or even in the same category as her. She learns swallow such delusions and embrace what Saint Shiva stood for in its entirety. Which means leaning to lay the road for peace between Ishgard and the Dragons and opening a path to this by sacrificing herself for those she loved so dearly. Alphinaud learns from all of this and more and is humbled by the duty of a knight, the fervor of a dragoon, the sacrifice of a saint, and the courage of his companions and of Sharlayan's arrogance from Master Matoya. To put others before himself and allow others to support him when he falls.
The Far Edge of Fate isn't about us. It was about how Ishgard carries on after Thordan and the Heavens Ward are shown to be the monsters they are. How the remnants of the church, the knights of Ishgard, and the civilian population react to the realization with rejection. How facing off against Nidhogg possessing Estinien, the Warriors of Darkness, and the machinations of Ilberd force Eorzea and Ishgard to look inward and know truly where they should go from there. To ignore the easier road and take the higher path no matter the strife and hardship it provides them. Because when they reach the otherside they would be better for it. Finding that courage, after five years of procrastinating and hemming and hawing, the Eorzean Alliance finally begin to mobilize to free Ala Mhigo from Garlemald and perhaps take on the Empire itself.
Stormblood isn't about us. It is about Doma and Ala Mhigo fighting for the survival of their people and cultures. Facing the parts of their society that were spurned and used as tools of hatred against their principles. That provided the necessary cracks required for Garlemald to break them down and oppress them in the first place. And how reforging under those values and those long histories of violence can make a new path and come to terms to over throw the tyrants who fed on their weakened states and make a strong unity still.
A Requiem of Heroes wasn't about us, it was about the world facing down the barrel of war with Garlemald. And uncovering its origins, its founding father was an Ascian. How Varis is forced to face down the lie as Elidibus wears the skin of his son and the great grandfather he and other Garleans were taught was a walking god in all but name was a sham and a daemon bent on causing more pain and suffering than mankind ever deserved. How the effigies of hate and pain choose to use their fervor to help their people instead of turning against them once more. How every person can change and be given a second chance. How that second chance is what that person requires or if they are pushed the wrong direction, can caused tragedy to unfold. And lastly, it is about our companions, slowly. One by one. Being dragged to the unknown. The story slowly taking away the players on the stage until finally...
Shadowbringers was about us. It was about how we were instrumental to the world so much that it lost nearly all hope in another timeline. How a group of your fondest friends began and how your comrade's furthest decendents acting on the hope of your legend and stories. To provide a plan of action and lead to happier world. How even when everything seems lost and gone and your purpose seems to turned everything around you into twisted monstrosities. That you can bring the night and wait in comfort for a dawn to bring better days. And the tenacity of your aid providing a world on the brink, the love, the compassion, the understanding, the strength, and the will to stand up to a flood of destruction and spit fate in the eye. Even it costs them everything, they keep fighting until they can see a brighter tomorrow.
Death unto Dawn was about what the tomorrow brings. How it could be another fight but to find what is WORTH fighting for. The memories of those you fight and lived amongst, old studies and things of the past being made to provide the answer to the future, making right wrongs even against those you had wronged unfairly, and to gather together and keep each other safe. You are not alone out here. There are those who will help you along to a brighter future.
Endwalker was about you and yours. About how everyone reacts to an uncertain future in different manners. How some would make ready to flee at the approaching storm, while others would fight, and others might even push you further to the edge. But even when all is lost, call upon the memory of happier times to light the way with hearts aligned shining brilliantly against despair and finding your place amongst those memories.
Growing Light was about us teaching another to hear, feel, and think and experience the world seemingly gone. That everything needn't be give or take. It can be a charitable, warmer place if we make it. It can be kinder and even in the face of unrelenting and undying destruction. Hope will spit out a tooth and stand up once more.
I say all of this because, I've seen people mad that Dawntrail is leaning hard about being about Wuk Lamat and others. To which I say so what if Dawntrail is about Wuk Lamat and Koana? So what if its not about us? We've had four story lines about us. Now we must impart what we've learned to the future as they face similar and sometimes overwhelming odds. To stand tall against the onslaught and make their own choices, their own way to bring a smile to all they hold dear. How family needn't be blood related, they can just be a group who sit down at the table at the end of the day. And speak, laugh, cry, and love. Unto this trail to dawn we shall light way for the future of our world and everything this new dawn brings is worth it.
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thewriteadviceforwriters · 5 months ago
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Creating Compelling Character Arcs: A Guide for Fiction Writers
As writers, one of our most important jobs is to craft characters that feel fully realized and three-dimensional. Great characters aren't just names on a page — they're complex beings with arcs that take them on profound journeys of change and growth. A compelling character arc can make the difference between a forgettable story and one that sticks with readers long after they've turned the final page.
Today, I'm going to walk you through the art of crafting character arcs that are as rich and multi-layered as the people you encounter in real life. Whether you're a first-time novelist or a seasoned storyteller, this guide will give you the tools to create character journeys that are equal parts meaningful and unforgettable.
What Is a Character Arc?
Before we go any further, let's make sure we're all on the same page about what a character arc actually is. In the most basic sense, a character arc refers to the internal journey a character undergoes over the course of a story. It's the path they travel, the obstacles they face, and the ways in which their beliefs, mindsets, and core selves evolve through the events of the narrative.
A character arc isn't just about what happens to a character on the outside. Sure, external conflict and plot developments play a major role — but the real meat of a character arc lies in how those external forces shape the character's internal landscape. Do their ideals get shattered? Is their worldview permanently altered? Do they have to confront harsh truths about themselves in order to grow?
The most resonant character arcs dig deep into these universal human experiences of struggle, self-discovery, and change. They mirror the journeys we all go through in our own lives, making characters feel powerfully relatable even in the most imaginative settings.
The Anatomy of an Effective Character Arc
Now that we understand what character arcs are, how do we actually construct one that feels authentic and impactful? Let's break down the key components:
The Inciting Incident
Every great character arc begins with a spark — something that disrupts the status quo of the character's life and sets them on an unexpected path. This inciting incident can take countless forms, be it the death of a loved one, a sudden loss of power or status, an epic betrayal, or a long-held dream finally becoming attainable.
Whatever shape it takes, the inciting incident needs to really shake the character's foundations and push them in a direction they wouldn't have gone otherwise. It opens up new struggles, questions, and internal conflicts that they'll have to grapple with over the course of the story.
Lies They Believe
Tied closely to the inciting incident are the core lies or limiting beliefs that have been holding your character back. Perhaps they've internalized society's body image expectations and believe they're unlovable. Maybe they grew up in poverty and are convinced that they'll never be able to escape that cyclical struggle.
Whatever these lies are, they'll inform how your character reacts and responds to the inciting incident. Their ingrained perceptions about themselves and the world will directly color their choices and emotional journeys — and the more visceral and specific these lies feel, the more compelling opportunities for growth your character will have.
The Struggle
With the stage set by the inciting incident and their deeply-held lies exposed, your character will then have to navigate a profound inner struggle that stems from this setup. This is where the real meat of the character arc takes place as they encounter obstacles, crises of faith, moral dilemmas, and other pivotal moments that start to reshape their core sense of self.
Importantly, this struggle shouldn't be a straight line from Point A to Point B. Just like in real life, people tend to take a messy, non-linear path when it comes to overcoming their limiting mindsets. They'll make progress, backslide into old habits, gain new awareness, then repeat the cycle. Mirroring this meandering but ever-deepening evolution is what makes a character arc feel authentic and relatable.
Moments of Truth
As your character wrestles with their internal demons and existential questions, you'll want to include potent Moments of Truth that shake them to their core. These are the climactic instances where they're forced to finally confront the lies they believe head-on. It could be a painful conversation that shatters their perception of someone they trusted. Or perhaps they realize the fatal flaw in their own logic after hitting a point of no return.
These Moments of Truth pack a visceral punch that catalyzes profound realizations within your character. They're the litmus tests where your protagonist either rises to the occasion and starts radically changing their mindset — or they fail, downing further into delusion or avoiding the insights they need to undergo a full transformation.
The Resolution
After enduring the long, tangled journey of their character arc, your protagonist will ideally arrive at a resolution that feels deeply cathartic and well-earned. This is where all of their struggle pays off and we see them evolve into a fundamentally different version of themselves, leaving their old limiting beliefs behind.
A successfully crafted resolution in a character arc shouldn't just arrive out of nowhere — it should feel completely organic based on everything they've experienced over the course of their thematic journey. We should be able to look back and see how all of the challenges they surmounted ultimately reshaped their perspective and led them to this new awakening. And while not every character needs to find total fulfillment, for an arc to feel truly complete, there needs to be a definitive sense that their internal struggle has reached a meaningful culmination.
Tips for Crafting Resonant Character Arcs
I know that was a lot of ground to cover, so let's recap a few key pointers to keep in mind as you start mapping out your own character's trajectories:
Get Specific With Backstory
To build a robust character arc, a deep understanding of your protagonist's backstory and psychology is indispensable. What childhood wounds do they carry? What belief systems were instilled in them from a young age? The more thoroughly you flesh out their history and inner workings, the more natural their arc will feel.
Strive For Nuance
One of the biggest pitfalls to avoid with character arcs is resorting to oversimplified clichés or unrealistic "redemption" stories. People are endlessly complex — your character's evolution should reflect that intricate messiness and nuance to feel grounded. Embrace moral grays, contradictions, and partial awakenings that upend expectations.
Make the External Match the Internal
While a character arc hinges on interior experiences, it's also crucial that the external plot events actively play a role in driving this inner journey. The inciting incident, the obstacles they face, the climactic Moments of Truth — all of these exterior occurrences should serve as narrative engines that force your character to continually reckon with themselves.
Dig Into Your Own Experiences
Finally, the best way to instill true authenticity into your character arcs is to draw deeply from the personal transformations you've gone through yourself. We all carry with us the scars, growth, and shattered illusions of our real-life arcs — use that raw honesty as fertile soil to birth characters whose journeys will resonate on a soulful level.
Happy Writing!
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eretzyisrael · 1 year ago
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by Josh Hammer
George Soros is an evil man. In fact, he is one of the most evil men currently shaping American and Western politics, and global events more generally.
To straightforwardly opine in this manner is not to traffick in antisemitism or noxious Jew-baiting. It is simply to share one's perspective about one of the most influential political donors, "philanthropists," and social activists in the world—someone who doles out countless sums to undermine and reshape in his dystopian image entire countries, spreading across at least five separate continents.
It is frankly astounding that this even needs to be said. I am a Jewish columnist, podcaster, and public speaker. As such, I routinely share my opinions as a basic feature of my job. I imagine some of those opinions are provocative—perhaps highly so—for a subset of the population, especially those of a left-of-center bent. Some (very) small percentage of my critics may hate me and hate my opinions because I am Jewish, but it is surely the case that the overwhelming majority of my critics disagree with me on the merits of my ideas and contributions to the public discourse. Unless I have a compelling reason to believe a specific critic is acting out of rank bigotry, I operate from a baseline presumption that the critic is not a Jew-hater, but simply disagrees with my position.
Again, this should be obvious. But for far too many, it is apparently not obvious—at least when it comes to criticism of George Soros.
For years, whenever conservatives, nationalists, and traditionalists have criticized the absolutely sprawling influence of George Soros and his left-wing Open Society Foundations umbrella network, Soros' praetorian guard in the elected official class and corporate press invariably shriek, "That's antisemitism! You can't say that!"
What utter tripe.
Soros directly spent $128.5 million during last fall's U.S. midterm elections, making him that election cycle's single largest individual donor. He has spent $40 million trying to elect radically left-wing "reform prosecutors"—something he has been fully transparent about, defending it under his own byline in a Wall Street Journal op-ed last summer—across the country. He has been dishearteningly successful in that endeavor, successfully electing 75 district attorneys—such as Alvin Bragg in New York City, Chesa Boudin in San Francisco (since mercifully recalled), and Kim Foxx in Chicago—who oversee a decivilizational (and oxymoronic) prosecutorial agenda of not prosecuting violent and property crimes. Simply put, Soros is more responsible than any man in the world for the descent of some of America's most iconic cities into anarchic urban hellholes.
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deception-united · 8 months ago
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Let's talk about worldbuilding.
Worldbuilding is a crucial aspect of writing fiction, particularly in genres like fantasy and science fiction.
Remember that worldbuilding is a dynamic process that evolves as you write. Don't be afraid to experiment and make changes to your world as needed to serve the story.
Here are some tips to help you build a rich and immersive world:
Start with a Core Concept: Every world begins with an idea. Whether it's a magic system, a futuristic society, or an alternate history, have a clear concept that serves as the foundation for your world.
Define the Rules: Establish the rules that govern your world, including its physical laws, magic systems, societal norms, and cultural practices. Consistency is key to creating a believable world.
Create a Detailed Map: Optional, but helpful. Develop a map of your world to visualise its geography, including continents, countries, cities, and landmarks. Consider factors like climate, terrain, and natural resources to make your world feel authentic.
Build a History: Develop a rich history for your world, including key events, conflicts, and historical figures. Consider how past events have shaped the present and influenced the cultures and societies within your world.
Develop Cultures and Societies: Create diverse cultures and societies within your world, each with its own beliefs, traditions, languages, and social structures. Explore how different cultures interact and conflict with one another.
Flesh Out Characters: Populate your world with memorable characters who reflect its diversity and complexity. Consider how their backgrounds, motivations, and personalities are shaped by the world around them. (See my post on character development for more!)
Consider Technology and Magic: Determine the level of technology and the presence of magic in your world, and how they impact daily life, society, and the overall narrative.
Think about Economics and Politics: Consider the economic systems, political structures, and power dynamics within your world. Explore issues like inequality, governance, and social justice to add depth to your worldbuilding.
Show, Don't Tell: Instead of dumping information on readers, reveal details about your world gradually through storytelling. Show how characters interact with their environment and incorporate worldbuilding seamlessly into the narrative.
Stay Consistent: Maintain consistency in your worldbuilding to ensure coherence and believability. Keep track of details like character names, historical events, and geographic locations to avoid contradictions.
Leave Room for Exploration: While it's essential to have a solid foundation for your world, leave room for discovery and exploration as you write. Allow your world to evolve organically and be open to new ideas and possibilities.
Revise and Edit: Carefully review your worldbuilding to identify any inconsistencies, plot holes, or contradictory elements. Pay attention to details such as character backgrounds, historical events, and the rules of your world's magic or technology. Make necessary revisions to resolve any issues and maintain the integrity of your worldbuilding.
Happy writing!
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youronebraincell · 27 days ago
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I just know that Sofia uses sex as a grounding technique. The only way she can truly calm down is being skin to skin with her girlfriend. Kissing her, looking deep in her eyes. Generally being very possessive and close to her. She’d be very verbal and talkative during sex. Talking about how stressful her day was, how she’s feeling, her fears, her worries. They’re all laid bare into her woman’s bare skin until it all washes away and all she can think about is the angel kissing her and telling her it’s all going to be okay. That she’s here and she’s never leaving Sofia
Sofia Gigante x fem!reader
I’ve never written a self-insert fic but I got this ask and couldn’t resist so bear with me.
Warning: spoilers for the first five episodes of The Penguin, angst, implied homophobia, mild fluff, reference torture/abuse, smut, spit as lube, strap-on, rough sex, masturbation, minor voyeurism, sustaining injury, possessiveness, floor sex, tribbing, cunnilingus
Word count: 3K
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Though she kept it well-hidden, Sofia was extremely anxious most if not all of the time. With the stress of the foundation and being the daughter of mob boss Carmine Falcone, you were the only thing that kept her sane.
Then she got sent to Arkham.
You didn’t see or talk to her for over a decade, but not for the lack of trying. Carmine forbade you from going to Arkham by ‘kindly suggesting’ that Sofia take this time away to work on herself until she’s all better. It didn’t surprise you.
He had never approved of your.. close relationship with his only known daughter.
But then he passed away.
You and Alberto were able to file for an appeal for Sofia’s release. The judge that previously handled her case was found unresponsive in his chambers a week before Carmine’s death.
You saw this as an opportunity to get a new judge, someone who wasn’t on Carmine’s payroll, to review the case. It didn’t take long before Sofia was exonerated and released back into society.
Sofia was different.
The light in her eyes had dimmed. Her smile, once so bright and blinding, had become faint and bittersweet. Every response, every move she made seemed premeditated.
Sofia stayed at your place. You didn’t think it would be good for her to go back to the Mansion so soon. To your surprise, Alberto agreed.
You didn’t mind that he stuck you with two of his guards stationed outside of your apartment in the process. All that mattered was that you had Sofia.
You gave her space even though it was the last thing you wanted. Sofia must’ve had the same thought because on her first night in your apartment, you awoke to the sound of her settling beside you on your worn-out couch, her breath soft and even against your neck. She kept her hands to herself. You did the same.
Yet when morning came, her arm was draped over your waist and your hand was close to her chest. When your eyes fluttered open, you saw big brown eyes staring right at you.
��You still snore.”
You let out a laugh.
The corner of her mouth tugged upward into a smile. It was small, but you didn’t care.
It was progress.
But then.. then Alberto died.
Sofia completely unraveled. She moved back into the Mansion and took you with her.
You watched as the family, especially that fuck Johnny, sidelined her, treating her like she was nothing more than an inconvenience instead of the only living Heir to the Falcone empire.
(Un)fortunately for you, this caused sex with Sofia to improve greatly. Not that it wasn’t already out of this world before, but it was different. It was like she had something to prove now and she had to do so by working her fingers inside of your wet cunt, her teeth grazing against your collarbone.
You were the outlet for her frustration.
Like now at her brother’s memorial.
It didn’t matter where you were. She’d pull you aside, find somewhere private and then eat you out or fingerfuck you to the brink of insanity while ranting to you about whatever asshole or shitty situation upset her this time.
When you came for the second or third time, your legs a little shaky, she cleaned her fingers with her lips and tongue. She held your gaze as she proceeded to wipe them on your dress.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
You were rewarded with a chaste kiss on the lips before she told you to clean yourself up and meet her back inside. You didn’t care that she made you feel like a whore when she left.
You were hers. Solely and unconditionally, hers.
If a whore was what Sofia wanted,
then a whore you would be.
You were reading a book late in the night as you waited for Sofia to come to bed when the double doors were thrown open, startling you and making you drop your book in your lap.
Sofia closed the doors behind her and made her way over to you, her heels clacking against the polished wooden floor. “Take off your clothes.”
You stare at her, your mouth slightly agape.
“Now, Y/N!”
You closed the book and set it on your nightstand before pulling your shirt over your head and lifting your hips to take off your panties.
You were more than a little concerned, but also really turned on by your girlfriend’s commanding tone. A gush of wetness left your cunt as you thought about what she was gonna do to you.
Sofia took off her dress, her bra and panties following soon after. She let her hair down and opened the walk-in closet.
When she came out, she looked down as she adjusted the harness of the strap-on around her waist. A black dildo stood out between her legs.
Your jaw dropped as you marvelled at the size.
Sofia eyed you with a hint of irritation as she walked towards you on the bed. “Close your mouth. I won’t be needing that tonight.”
You closed your mouth.
You moved to sit in the middle of the bed before spreading your legs. Sofia was on you in a matter of seconds, her mouth ravishing yours as she laid you down. Her hand slithered down to see if you were wet enough. She pulled away, breaking the kiss. She watched your reaction as she slipped her middle finger into your cunt.
You tried to suppress a groan, but she noticed.
“Don’t do that. I need to know if I’m hurting you.”
She spat into her hand and rubbed her spit along her length before pressing the tip against your entrance. You shivered with want.
She spread your lower lips with her fingers. Her eyes never left your face as she pushed her cock inside of you, watching every microexpression from the furrow of your brows to the slight tremble of your bottom lip. It was bigger than the dildos she used on you in the past. This one was stretching you out in a way that was almost too much for you to handle. Almost.
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when she bottomed out. She gave you a moment to get adjusted to her size.
You put your hand on her shoulder, but quickly pulled it away when you touched her scars.
“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt me.”
You looked up at her.
“Go on.”
Hesitantly, you brought your hand up to her shoulder. You grabbed onto it. You brushed the pad of your thumb along her scars in a back and forth motion, a frown forming your lips. “I’m sorry..”
“No. None of that, okay? The past is in the past.”
Still, your jaw clenched at the torture and abuse Sofia was subjected to at the hands of her father.
It relaxed as you let out a surprised gasp when Sofia pulled back and thrusted her hips forward.
She spent the rest of the night and better part of the morning fucking into you with reckless abandon as your velvety walls clenched around her faux cock orgasm after orgasm after orgasm.
From what she was saying, the family wanted to send her away to Italy. Assholes.
Then there was something about her being suspicious of Oz..
It was hard for you to keep up as she fucked you well within an inch of your life.
Sofia seemed content with the barely coherent hums you gave her every now and then.
You dragged your nails down her back when you came for the umpteenth time. You hid your face in the crook of her neck, whimpering as another orgasm washed over you like a crashing wave.
You heard her panting lightly next to your head.
You felt raw and empty when she wordlessly pulled her cock out of you. Your walls clenched around nothing, immediately missing the warmth and stretch that the toy provided.
You tried to catch your breath, your chest rising and falling as you laid sprawled out on the bed.
You closed your eyes.
When you opened them, you turned your head towards the sound of uneven breathing and saw Sofia masturbating, the strap-on long abandoned. Her eyes were glued to the ceiling like she was planning something in her head.
You turned to lie on your side so you could watch.
Her neck strained when she tilted her chin up. You could tell she was close. She inhaled sharply and suppressed a groan when she came, her eyes still trained on the ceiling. She breathed out.
Then she turned to look at you.
Your fingers danced on her upper arm, slowly making their way to her face. You tapped her temple. “What’re you thinking?”
“You need to go to a hotel for a couple days.”
You brushed the end of her brow. “Okay.”
You didn’t question her. You never did.
Sofia smiled and took your hand from her face to press a gentle kiss to your palm.
“Grazie, bella.”
She set you up in a hotel suite just outside of Gotham with one simple instruction: don’t leave the room. Two guards were stationed outside to make sure you didn’t defy her.
On one of those mornings while you were eating a breakfast sandwich in bed, you saw the news of what happened at the Falcone Mansion.
You saw Sofia talking to Chief Mackenzie just outside the Mansion before going in. The camera panned to Gia being taken away in a beige van.
Your heart dropped to your stomach.
You jump out of bed and put on a shirt and some sweats before opening the front door.
One of the guards, a tan woman about an inch or two taller than you, stepped in front of you.
“Get out of my way.”
“I have direct orders to keep you here, ma’am.”
“I don’t care. I need to see Sofia.”
You tried to move past her, but she continued to block your path. The other guard didn’t bother stepping in. His phone rang. “Shit. It’s the wife.”
“Go. I got this.”
The man walked away from the suite, his receding footsteps growing quieter and quieter. The woman made sure he was out of sight before pushing you back into the suite by force.
You stumbled backwards and fell flat on your ass. The back of your head made contact with the edge of the footboard. You cried out in pain.
The guard didn’t seem to care. “You will stay here until Miss Falcone says otherwise.”
She left you on the floor, the door slamming shut behind her as she made her exit.
You stood up and went to the fridge to get something cold for your head. You take a soda can from the back of the fridge and press it against the bump forming on your head. You wince when the cool metal touches your scalp.
A few hours later, the woman came in unannounced to tell you they’ll be taking you back to the Mansion. She handed you some painkillers. “For your head.”
You stared at her, your eyes ablaze with fury.
Much to your irritation, she cracked a smile. “We leave in ten. That should give you enough time to look.. presentable for Miss Falcone.”
Your nostrils flared as she left. Bitch.
You put on an emerald green, one-shoulder evening dress. You contemplated putting your hair in a bun, but decided against it last minute.
You didn’t need Sofia asking questions.
The drive to the Mansion was spent in silence.
When you arrived, you walked behind the guards and entered what you called ‘The War Room.’
Sofia was standing at the head of the table with Johnny sitting on her right. You watched in awe as she spoke. You hung on to every word.
Johnny told her to take it easy.
You rolled your eyes.
You flinched when she shot him in the head.
Silence enveloped the room.
She blew a raspberry then continued speaking as if nothing had happened. She opened a duffel bag and dumped stacks and stacks of cash onto the table. Nobody dared to move. Not even when she urged them to take what’s rightfully theirs.
“Come on, guys,” You said with a smile, sauntering over to your girlfriend. “Dig in.”
Sofia wrapped an arm around your waist. “You heard her, ladies and gentlemen. Have your fill.”
Two dozen greedy hands reached out to grab what they could before it was all gone.
“Not you.”
The woman who kept guard at the hotel froze, her body bent over slightly on the table.
“Put it back.”
The woman emptied her pockets and put the stacks back on the table.
“Everyone else, continue.”
The table was cleared in seconds.
Sofia’s eyes never left the woman standing across from her with her fists clenched at her sides. “You hurt the woman I love when you were supposed to be protecting her. I can’t let that stand.”
The woman swallowed nervously.
“Since you were such a loyal soldier to my father, I will give you the benefit of a doubt and let you leave with your head still attached to your body.”
The woman didn’t need to be told twice.
She turned on her heel and left the room.
Sofia’s grip on your waist tightened, her fingers digging into the fabric of your dress hard enough to bruise the covered skin that lay underneath.
“First person to kill her gets ten grand.”
The two of you didn’t witness the chaos that erupted as you left the room beforehand.
She took you into her father’s study and closed the doors. Her eyes raked over your face. “You weren’t gonna tell me.”
You pursed your lips. “I was being difficult. She was just.. doing her job.”
She reached behind you to asses the damage that had been done to the back of your head. Her heart ached at the bump she felt. “Hurting you is not one of the requirements.”
She pulled her hand away when you winced.
You looked at her.
“You killed your family.”
“I did.”
“You orphaned Gia.”
Sofia pressed her lips together. “I did.”
“Did it feel good?”
“Yes. It did.”
You threw yourself onto Sofia, surprising her for a split second before her surprise morphed into something else. Something more inviting.
You found yourself lying on your back in front of the lit fireplace. Clothes were literally torn off and ripped apart by Sofia’s needy hands.
You moaned into her mouth as you grinded your cunts together, sloppily and unrestrained. Your hardened nipples rubbed against hers. Your tongue submitted to hers as they danced inside your mouth to a rhythm only the two of you knew.
She bit your bottom lip when you reached down and cupped her ass, urging her on. You welcomed the taste of your own blood on your tongue.
A thick strand of saliva connected your lips together when she broke the kiss.
“You’re so gorgeous when you’re like this, bella;”
Sofia leaned down to nip at your earlobe.
“Spent, barely hanging on,”
Her tongue licked the shell of your ear.
“But begging for more.”
She kissed you again. You both orgasmed simultaneously, moaning into each other’s mouths while getting down from your highs, your hips bucking wantonly to chase after each other.
When you broke apart for air, you pushed her down so she was the one lying on her back.
“I haven’t seen you in days,” You said as you made your way down her body. You stop inches away from her cunt. “Care to bring me up to speed while I eat you out, Miss Gigante?”
Sofia loved the way her new name rolled of your tongue. “Only if you put that tongue to good use.”
“Don’t I always?”
You ate out Sofia as she told you what you had missed, your mouth and tongue working overtime to satisfy the woman you loved.
Oz betrayed her (surprise, surprise), Julian ‘saved’ her after the Maronis ambushed her and then she killed him before killing the Falcones.
You listened intently to each and every word.
Your bodies were covered in thick layers of sweat by the time the two of you were finished.
You had your head on her chest. You drew meaningless patterns on her arm and stomach while her fingers played with your hair.
“Thank you, Y/N.”
You looked up at her. “For what?”
“Everything, I suppose” She looked deep into your eyes. “You could’ve abandoned me a handful of times, but you didn’t. Which is more than I could say for my family. May they rest in peace.”
You tried not to smile at that.
“Now that Berto’s gone, you’re all I have.”
She cupped your left cheek, her thumb brushing against the corner of your mouth.
“I love you. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. Hopefully, I’ll never have to find out.”
You weren’t stupid. There was an underlying threat to her words. Of course there was.
There was no forgetting what Sofia was. Even when you were putty in her arms like you are now, you knew what she was capable of when crossed.
Still, you gave her a genuine smile. “I love you too. Even if you accuse me of snoring which I don’t.”
Sofia let out a loud laugh.
You caved three seconds in and laughed with her.
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adelheidvonschicksal · 9 months ago
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⋆。°✩ Do Roommates Sleep Together?
“We’d be roommates, much better than neighbors,” you manage to explain, proud when you hold firm, but the delicate foundation you built cracks when his laugh highlights the room. You could nearly melt. “Do roommates sleep together too?”
Synopsis: Your relationship with Xavier is unconventional, skipping and trampling on the many proper steps society deems appropriate. It should take months to form the trust needed to sleep together, and it should take years for you to ask him to move in with you.
Yet, here you are, with more courage to ask him to live with you than to tell him you’re in love with him.
Content Warning: fluff, suggestive dialogue, pining, literal sleeping together, a lot of internal exposition, mild angst, hurt/comfort, acquaintances to friends to lovers, implied soulmate tomfoolery to justify the fast burn, small references to chapter 4 main story, Heartstring Symphony, Nighttime Stroll, Shooting Stars Myth, and Unit 602's Representative Phone Call, Xavier sucks at following the non-interference policy (he tried his best), female reader, 6.5k words, safe for work
A/N: First section before Warm Wishes/Dreams within Reach tender moments and second section after Close Feelings tender moment to give a better timeframe. This is going to be two parts with the second part NSFW.
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“Do you want to hang out at my place?” 
Your smile begins to flatten as Xavier stares at you from his doorway. There’s a listless energy radiating from him. It’s intimidating even if there’s no anger behind his hooded gaze, the kind of intimidation where you’re afraid he might not be listening to you or even wants to listen to you.
“This new scary movie came out. Tara was supposed to watch with me, but she had a last-minute thing to take care of,” you explain, watching as he yawns and wipes his eyes. “So, I thought that maybe you’d like to watch with me instead. Or, we can do something else. I got games. Monopoly, Phase 10, Kitty Cards.” 
Xavier rubs at the back of his neck, refusing to meet your eye. “Are you sure you want it to be just the two of us?” 
There are many things to be said about your relationship with Xavier. You’re work partners, neighbors in the same apartment complex, and you consider him your friend. It’s also true that your friendship is young despite the many hours at the arcade together and whatever stories your co-workers like to imagine, making your offer sound more like a date invitation than hanging out. It causes you to go tongue-tied as your innocent mistake blankets you.
“Oh, not in that way! I mean not that it would be a bad thing.” You start to lose your composure when you meet his gaze again. It’s not like you wouldn’t go on a date with him if given the opportunity. He’s tall, soft-spoken, and very handsome. It’s more surprising he doesn't have a girlfriend. “I was thinking it could be a good way to foster friendship between hunters. Yeah, that’s it!”
The truth was that you were looking for something to distract yourself ever since the incident at your grandmother’s house. Tara having to cancel bummed you out more than you wanted to admit, but you didn’t want him to agree because he felt sorry for you.
“I understand,” Xavier cuts in. “I’d be happy to join you…in an hour,” he finishes with another small yawn. 
“Great!” you cheer. “See you soon.”
When you make it back to the elevator, you’re taken aback about how happy you are that he agreed. You thought you were simply happy not to have to be alone on your day off, but this was a different kind of satisfaction than when you invited Tara. It was a little strange but you ignored the thought and clicked the button to your floor. 
When Xavier arrives, everything goes as planned. You spread out an array of snacks on the table in front of the sofa, which your selection seems to be approved by how quickly he opens the package of chips and hums to himself when he takes a bite. 
“This is supposed to be super scary! I read you won’t sleep for days after,” you tell him, grabbing the remote to play the movie. 
“For days? Sounds awful,” Xavier mentions between bites, making you chuckle. 
“If you get scared, you always have me to protect you.” 
“I’m more worried about you than me,” he mouths off. “You always look like a statue when I tell you scary stories.”
“Fake movies and stories based on real places are different!”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he agrees on the surface. You’re not sure how you only make friends with people who love to tease you, but you make no mention of it as the movie finally reaches its opening sequence. 
It doesn’t take long for you to realize this movie’s fear factor was greatly over exaggerated. There were monsters, sure, but also one too many jump scares and dark scenes that made it hard to tell what was happening. Fighting wanderers for a living did leave you a bit desensitized as well, you guess. 
As you reach to fill in your boredom with more chips, you can’t help but notice how Xavier looks like he’s about to give out any second. His eyes are drooping and his head bobbing to the side. You lose count of how many times he forces his limp body straight and strains to watch the movie playing on the screen, one agonizingly slow blink at a time.
“I’m fine,” he says before you can bring up how tired he looks.
“It’s not a big deal, Xavier. This movie is pretty boring, so if you wanna call it a night, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings.” You don’t want him to leave yet but you don't want to keep him up either. Sighing, you’re frustrated the movie isn’t as exciting as you thought it would be, and it’s difficult to fight the disappointment from showing on your face. 
And, well, Xavier…
“It’s alright. It’s honestly not bad, so—”
Xavier doesn’t even finish his sentence before his head hangs over. In hindsight, you start to realize that you must have woken him up earlier, explaining his prior passiveness.
You always wondered what he did on the days he wasn’t working. It should’ve been apparent to you that he spends most of his free time sleeping. No wonder his apartment was always so quiet during the day. You’re thankful he wasn’t actually annoyed at you earlier but guilty for interrupting his rest and decide to grab him a blanket.
You don’t notice him tilting to the side before you have the chance to get up. It’s quick after that. Without warning, he falls into you, his head brushing the side of your shoulder before he collapses on top of your lap.
The situation takes you by surprise, and the world churns to a slow stop. The sounds from the television fade into the background in favor of your heartbeat becoming the thing you’re most aware of when it registers that Xavier, a man you recently can call a friend, has fallen asleep in your lap. You have no idea what to do in a situation like this. It isn’t on purpose, so there’s no need to blow up, but you can’t allow this to continue.
So, you choose to wake him up.
“Xavier,” you call and rock his shoulder. You call his name again, a third time, and finally give up when he doesn’t budge by the fourth. “Would it be too mean to roll him off?” you wonder, grimacing as you imagine him hitting the floor. It would definitely be too mean.
Sighing, you gaze at his face nuzzled too comfortably against your thighs. Xavier looks so incredibly soft like this, bundled in an oversized Blanchi hoodie. It isn’t anything you’re not used to seeing him in. However, this is different. With his hair strewn across his temple and his face so at ease, it reminds you of a big fluffy bunny flopped over for an evening nap. Just like a cuddly bunny, you can’t resist petting him, brushing your fingers across his bangs to fix them. Your heart flutters as you confirm his hair is incredibly soft and his pale eyelashes longer than you ever noticed.
Not able to restrain yourself, you gently poke his cheek, marveling when it’s much chubbier than you imagined. It causes him to moan, his eyes twitching from the intrusion.
“Mm…what?” he groans out.
Swiftly, you pull your hand away, frightened he might have caught you.
“I wasn’t doing anything,” you stammer out, not the best of excuses; but in your defense, he caught you off-guard by waking up from something so small. When he doesn’t respond again, you quickly realize he’s still asleep. “Oh, he sleep talks!”
A mischievous wave washes over you from the new piece of information you acquired. Teasingly, you poke his cheek again, giggling when he shifts to hide his eyes from the light.
“Xavier, I have a question to ask you.” You slide your fingertips along his bangs once more. “Be honest. Are you Lumiere?”
Patiently, you wait for a response. However, nothing comes after several seconds. Just when you’re about to give up hope, you hear him muttering. You lean your head closer, hoping to hear him better.
“Red…” he mumbles.
You repeat after him. “Red?”
“Red…extra spicy.”
You blink at him, knitting your brows. “Extra spicy?”
Oh. The hot pot restaurant.
“Dreaming about food? That tracks.” You shrug. It was worth a shot. “Fine, keep your secrets.”
Choosing to leave him be, you’re about to sit back and continue the movie except you are interrupted by him mumbling again. This time, he whispers your name quietly under his breath causing your undivided attention to fall on him.
“Yes?” you ask.
Xavier sighs softly, peacefully.
“Come home…with me…”
There must be a world record for how fast someone can heat up, and you must have broken it. It’s like someone threw you directly into boiling oil and left you to burn in it. There’s no way you heard him correctly.
Did Xavier really ask you to come home…with him? Is he dreaming about you? If so, in what kind of dream? And why?
These are the questions stumping you. Sure, you consider him your friend, but when did he start to see you as someone close to him?
The more important question is why aren’t you doing anything about it? You aren’t angry about him whispering your name in his sleep nor offended, and it didn’t feel out of place to be close to him, like this, with his head resting in your lap and your hand in his hair. The moment becomes nicer and nicer—treasured—the more times you run it through your head, familiar even, like déjà vu.
There are too many variables for your brain to piece it all together in such a short amount of time. Praying for the tempest battering your emotional insides to reside, you resign yourself to your fate, allowing him to have his peace while your mind completely focuses on the words slipping from his dreams.
When Xavier begins to stir hours later, your movie is long finished, credits rolling as some dramatic music plays in the background. His eyes tighten then relax before he finally opens them, greeting you with hazy blue. He lifts himself into a stretch then rubs his eyes with his wrist. When he finally adjusts to his surroundings, he looks at you with an apologetic sulk.
“Did I…fall asleep on you?” he asks, grogginess still riding his voice.
“Literally or figuratively?” you ask as a joke, but it doesn’t seem to comfort him. Shaking your head, you try to ease the tension—the one known by him and the tension inside of yourself—by laughing. “It was both.”
Xavier blinks a few times, turns his head to the screen to see the credits rolling, and snaps his eyes back on you questioningly. “And you let me for two hours?”
“You looked really tired,” you explain, ignoring how hot your cheeks start to get. You couldn’t tell him you got distracted by his cute face. “I didn’t want to move and wake you.”
“I don’t wake that easily,” he states, proudly even. You almost tell him how well everyone knows he can sleep through a typhoon, but it’s drowned underneath the softness of his smile. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”
The look he gives you is so tender, like looking at a fond memory. It brings back the fluttering knots in your stomach from before as you imagine what could be the true reason behind that gaze. What could he possibly be thinking in his waking moments that would make him dream about you?
“Xavier, do you know you talk in your sleep?” The confused and panicked, deer caught in headlights expression, he gives causes you to fidget with your fingers and drop your gaze to your lap where they lay.
His face tinges slightly. “Nothing too embarrassing I hope.”
You bite your bottom lip as his face reddens. He looks so sweetly shy for once, and you’re starting to question if you’re overreacting by confronting him about something as silly as a dream, one that probably didn’t mean much.
“You tried to order food in your sleep!” you tell him with a small laugh, and his shyness melts away.
“I did? What did I get?”
“Red sauce. Extra Spicy.”
“Then, I guess that’s what I’ll get for dinner tonight,” he remarks. He doesn’t laugh but you can see the amusement reflected in blue eyes, which makes you return his happiness. Yet, the calm moment is short-lived as your mind becomes overwhelmed again by questions you were too nervous to ask; and a small piece of you, too afraid to know the answer.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, drawing you out of your rampant, clashing thoughts. “You look sick.”
“I do?”
He nods, his expression softening.
”Are you still thinking about everything?" he pauses, his worry becoming more visible as he looks at you. "It must be difficult.” Your head blanks at his words. You weren’t aware Xavier gave you enough attention to notice your mood was different. You thought you did okay coming to terms with everything at least while at work to where he wouldn’t notice. 
“It’s been a pretty rough week, weeks, actually. I haven’t been sleeping well either,” you agree, struggling to keep your mind anywhere else but there. You’re sure you must look exhausted though. Your under eyes have been darker, the days you could convince Jenna you didn’t need any more leave a bit sluggish, and even Zayne warned you not to lose yourself in grief. It’s easier said than done.
What you don’t expect is for Xavier to grab your wrist and pull you closer.
Xavier normally isn’t the one to draw you, or others for that matter, to him. You’re the one who's been taking the steps to get to know more about him. Offering to help him get his plushie, bargaining with him into becoming your partner, asking him to watch movies with you, while he always seems to keep you a little at arms length, not opening up as much as you wish when sharing stories even when sometimes he looks like he desperately wants to before deciding against it.
Your eyes widen when your nose hits the side of his chest. It's strange to have him be the one pulling, failing to keep his boundaries and also testing them. You don’t want to push him away though. You liked this. Maybe because he was handsome. You hear pretty people can get away with anything, but it feels like more than that. Tara might have been right. Maybe you do have a crush on him but you didn’t care the reason right now when it’s so comforting. You can feel his muscles underneath the thick, warm fabric of his hoodie, and the clothing smells so nice. You can’t help thinking he definitely feels like a bunny too.
“Sleeping is much better with someone.” 
“How do you know?” you mumble against him.
“Well, I just had the best sleep I’ve had in days thanks to you. So, allow me to return the favor. I’ll be your pillow this time,” he offers; and surprisingly, your eyes do feel oddly heavy when his soothing voice reaches you. “Relax. I promise not to move for at least two hours, but you can take more if you like.”
”How kind,” you say with a smile, and it feels genuine.
Once again, you get the same familiar sensation from before, that same odd suspicion this has happened once before—or rather it’s supposed to happen? You’re too tired to think about it. You close your eyes to the most blissful dreams you’ve had in weeks.
When you wake up again, it’s not by choice. Xavier is looking down at you, his arm gently wrapped around your shoulders as your head lays on his chest. Your mind is still trapped halfway between being awake and asleep when he begins to talk.
“Welcome back. Did you sleep well?”
You nod. “Real well actually."
Xavier says something else but your tired mind misses the majority of it aside from the fact it’s getting late.
“You can spend the night if you want,” you tell him, allowing sleep to win back over as you try to close your eyes again, but he lifts you away from him, your head swaying with the motion until you find a place to prop your forehead on his shoulder. Your mind echoes with the thought of how soft his hoodie is and how you need one like it as you try to drift back off. Xavier is right. Sleeping with someone else is better, and this closeness you’ve been missing since you lost your family makes you needy. 
“It probably wouldn’t be appropriate.”
For some reason, it hurts to think he's back to pushing you away. Even though, it shouldn't.
“But you didn’t get a chance to watch the movie,” you reply, looking for an excuse for him not to leave. “It’s a 48-hour rental, so we can try again.”
Xavier shakes his head, gently poking at your forehead to force your head back. “I’m sure it’ll be twice as boring for you the second time.”
“If we watch it together…”
He meets your foggy gaze apologetically. “I don’t think we’d get very far.” 
“We won’t know until we try,” you argue drowsily. 
“You don’t look like you’d make it another ten minutes. You belong in bed.”
“I can,” you whimper as the too-bright lights of the overhead fan hit you. 
“Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result,” he murmurs softly, almost teasingly until his tone takes on a seriousness you’re too lethargic to grasp, “Isn’t that insanity?”
“I like to call it determination. Who knows? Maybe this will be the time it works,” you joke. Instead of the smile you expected the look on his face is pensive and a little sad, like you touched a delicate spot. The sudden remorse wakes you up almost immediately. “Xavier?”
When he realizes you’re watching him, the longing in his gaze melts into something you can’t describe, other than the fact it makes your heart climb in your throat. 
“Alright,” he agrees, much to your surprise and relief. “Let’s try again…but tomorrow.”
Frowning, you avert your gaze, which makes him pet your head. 
“Don’t pout. Tonight, I’ll stay until you fall asleep again.”
“Thank you,” you whisper, moving back to rest your head against his chest.
Maybe your grandma wouldn’t have liked you getting so close to a man you didn’t know much about so quickly. Caleb would at least have a few questions, but your intuition tells you that you’re making the right choice when his arm goes back around you. As you start to drift off, you can swear you hear Xavier laughing at you under his breath. “You’re as impossible to say no to as always.”
You’re not entirely sure what time Xavier went back to his apartment that night, but the next morning you wake in your bed, looking forward to seeing him again. You only hope the sweet and confusing fact that you’re in love with him, of the parts he shows you when you’re alone, stays in your dreams the next night and the many nights following that you share with him.
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Over the months, as your relationship with Xavier grows stronger, you find it common to share many things with each other. You play online games, house sit for one another, grow strawberries, and usually go home together after your deepspace trials. Most interestingly, you two take naps together on your days off sometimes, nothing sexual about it despite what Tara and her Tarot cards believe. Sure, there might have been questionable situations, but it was all innocent in the end. It's often a short nap in the afternoon after running errands or having lunch together. It's one of those days that you finally build the courage to bring up what's been on your mind for a while now. 
It's late when it happens.
The skyscraper lights begin to glow through your balcony door, blinking out the gentle shimmering of distant stars that managed to cut through the trickling rain earlier in the evening. It’s a little disappointing to lose sight of the stars. They’d become a comfort for you in the time you’ve spent with your friend. You'd never given them much thought before then.
The downpour of rain splattering against the glass panels of the balcony makes the city lights milkier to your sight and the steady dripping of water returns some form of calmness when paired with your neighbor’s breathing next to you.
It’s deep and warm, ushering you towards the world of dreams. Everything about Xavier is like a white noise or a desperately needed hug, which is why you’re curled up at his side in this bed that’s too small for the both of you. You didn’t care, and you suspected Xavier didn’t either.
He didn’t mention the smallness of the bed when you offered to take a nap together nor when your head found the bulge of his bicep to use as your pillow. You didn’t give him time to respond when one of your hands slid across his lean chest, reaching for his always subtle pulse. You find the lazy pattering easy to count while the heat in the sheets become much more apparent when you feel the weight of his touch cradle that very same hand to his chest as if promising every beat to you.
Everything about the situation causes your eyes to flutter with tiredness, but you want to savor this moment a little longer. In case this is all an elaborate dream. You hope to death it’s not. So, you force your eyes to remain open, releasing a soft sigh instead as you cuddle into his arm.
Too soon, you feel Xavier slipping further away from you.
You don’t want him to go yet. More than ever, a force inside you needs him to stay tonight, and you lock your grip on the white knit shirt he wears. You tug him back over to you to close this unbearable distance he made. The few little inches he moved were more than enough to cause your heart to yearn.
“Not yet,” you want to plead but make it a soft demand. “I just found the perfect spot.” You muffle the neediness of your requests into his skin, though your head is afraid that somehow he’ll feel it.
“You always use that excuse.”
“And it’s always true. So, no moving,” you order.
Xavier gives in so wonderfully quickly. Your heart is rapidly firing when the corners of his lips turn into his usual waif-like smile. You fail at hiding your satisfaction at his surrender, pressing more of your weight against him, in a sure sign to him that you have no intention of letting him escape any time soon.
“I take this to mean you’re finally admitting it’s your fault we didn’t do our errands today?”
“I never said that,” you disagree half-heartedly. “And don't pretend like you weren't the one who kept saying he didn't feel like getting up earlier.”
“And now that I do, you won’t let me up. Am I right? Why’s that?”
There’s a beat skipping in your chest when he asks. His tone is light and open, easy to treat as a teasing joke but also firm enough to be taken seriously. That was always your trouble with him. You could never quite tell what he was thinking and when he was serious. Xavier is hard to understand sometimes, sometimes vague and sometimes very straightforward in his words; and lately, you think he’s consistently more hot than cold towards you ever since the first time you've slept together.
You like to think this development is a good thing. People who knew you always said you worked a little too hard, a little too observant, overly energetic despite your fragile heart; but with Xavier, you could relax. Moments like these: when his arm was around you and when his breath was at the side of your neck, the soft words he speaks in his sleep dancing in your mind, were the moments when patrolling for wanderers and every loss in your life from your family to your problematic heart dissipated into the back of your mind for a few hours.
It isn’t an exaggeration to believe his influence must have been the cause, at least when it comes to this. But your influence is seeping into him as well. Given his loner habits when you first met and his frequent disappearing acts, you never pictured him as one to be so sweet and considerate and adorably charming in a way.
However, you can’t tell him that you enjoy…sleeping with him. You have a strong feeling he already knows how much you like him. Or, you’d like to think he does with the way he constantly seems to hint at it. He can make you flustered with a few words and easily leave you guessing if you’re reading too much into his actions or if he’s really that good at baiting you. It could also be a little of column A and a little of column B, which somehow makes you more antsy around him. Like how you feel now when his eyes meet yours.
“It’s supposed to be cold tonight,” you whisper. It’s a poor excuse but the only one you can use to defend yourself. “They say the best way to fend off the chill is body heat. Who better for that task than you, dear partner?”
“Many things, I assume, a portable heater comes to mind,” he says, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s slyly teasing you behind that naive tone.
“Right, right, those things,” you grumble causing him to laugh as you hide your bashful face against him. “So loud, you know?”
“Are they? Alright, then five more minutes should be doable,” he says in the same low voice that makes your insides boil before his arm lowers to curl around your back. “Although, you’re too comfortable.”
His ears tinge in a lovely rose-colored blush, and you shudder when he finally fails to maintain eye contact and quickly scans your body. It’s slow enough for you to catch though. It makes your chest tight as you watch his quiet inhale and the murky flash of want dye his eyes shades darker before they fade back into clear pools of blue, big and pleading as he studies your face. 
“I might end up falling asleep here.”
It’s a warning, to make you think about the meaning of your actions, you think. However, this isn’t the first time this has happened nor the first time you spent a rainy day inside with each other; the kitchen counter lined with empty take-out trays, with his body heat radiating into you while a long-forgotten movie plays in the background.
It’ll continue like that until one of you is finally coherent enough after drowsy naps to try to piece together who fell asleep on whom first or who is making the other too hot. Neither of you wants to accept the fault without a lot of bickering; that’s if Xavier doesn’t fall back asleep mid-debate.
Even this time, you’re not sure who managed to drift off to sleep first earlier but neither of you tried to get up, let alone leave the house, until now. Ah, but it was your idea to use the bed this time, wasn’t it?
But it was his choice to agree.
Even now, he looks very peaceful nestled with you, and he still whispers your name in his sleep sometimes, which reminds you of the first time you slept together and he dreamt about wanting you to come home with him.
When you’re like this, you want the same thing. You want him to come home…with you.
“Xavier?” you ask quietly. You wonder if he’s fallen asleep already like he said. Carefully, you free your hand from his hold, slide it up his chest, and begin to draw smooth circles with your pointer finger once you reach his cheek. There’s a soft response from him, barely a moan but it’s enough to know he’s not out of it yet, at least not completely. “I’ve been thinking.”
The air is suddenly stifling when he engulfs the top of your hand with his own, holding it tighter as if he’s upset that you moved it out of his grasp in the first place, but it’s not the case as he affectionately seals your palm against his cheek.
“About what?”
The look he gives you makes it hard not to stumble over your thoughts like a schoolgirl despite being very much an adult.
“Wouldn’t…” You pause to steady your voice; you have to force yourself to not avoid his gaze, but each small movement makes your throat tighten. There’s no doubt you have his full attention now, at least what little remains of it. “Wouldn’t it be easier if we…move in together?”
You’re not sure where the courage to ask him a question like that comes from when you’re too unsure to even confess or to ask what the two of you even are but you didn’t have this fear of rejection until now.
“How would it be easier?”
“Well,” you start, unsure why you’re surprised that he’d want a reason. “We’re always visiting one another, and you made me your representative at the tenant meetings, so everyone already treats us like we’re a combined unit. It would also save me trips on watering your plants when you’re away or when you want to come over to eat. We could save money. Money that could be spent at the arcade or on more hot pot.”
There’s a quiet atmosphere that makes you too uneasy. The thrumming of rain grows louder in it along with the beating in your chest that’s telling you that this was stupid. Is it possible to be drunk on endorphins? Perhaps that’s what gave you the idea to ask something so foolish; you’d have to get Zayne to examine your empty head and tell you.
But then, Xavier smiles.
“Those are good reasons especially more hot pot, and I’m sure all the plushies would feel better if they shared a home again.”
Your anxiety lessens and you share in his smile. Luckily, you managed not to ruin everything it looks like.
“But.” Slowly, the inklings of self-doubt begin to return. A but. There’s always one of those. You should’ve expected as much. “If we move in together then we wouldn’t really be “neighbors” anymore.”
“Oh, um—” You become staggered by his observation, even more so when he interlocks your fingers. It’s another time when you’re not entirely sure if he’s being serious or not. His innocent puppy-eyed expression doesn’t help you differentiate either. It always makes your mind wander to more inappropriate topics—like the fact Xavier told you he didn’t believe that other neighbors acted like you two. The memory nearly makes you squirm. In this position, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. “We’d be roommates, much better than neighbors,” you manage to explain, proud when you hold firm, but that delicate foundation cracks when his laugh highlights the room. You could nearly melt.
“Do roommates sleep together too?”
There’s a shine of amusement that makes his face glow and heat claw higher up your neck. You know the question should be taken literally but when he words it like that…with that warm implicative inflection to his voice, you’re unable to think properly, and you realize that maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you shouldn’t have given him the benefit of the doubt this time.
“I’m sure some do,” you answer with some courage, “I’d imagine at least once a week.”
“I believe we’re up to twice a week now. So, if we become roommates, I think we have to do it at least that many times, otherwise I’m afraid I’m going to have to reject your offer.”
“Two times?” you repeat, silently begging the flapping of butterflies in your stomach to calm down at the suggestion, at the implication that he enjoys sleeping with you just as much as you do with him. It makes this strong emotion in your chest blossom even further. “I can manage that.”
“Additional proposal,” he interrupts suddenly. “Perhaps, three times? I can even throw in a pair of those fuzzy socks that I can never manage to find after you visit,” he adds coyly.
“Oh, I’m sure they’re around your apartment somewhere,” you quickly respond before releasing the buildup of nervous air in your lungs. You smile. “Proposal accepted. Shared naps three times a week minimum.”
“In that case,” he breathes in softly, and he slips his hand down releasing all your fingers except for your pinky that he wraps into his own. “I think I would like to be your roommate.”
Inside, there’s unadulterated joy beginning to flood you. You know that this agreement will require a more in-depth discussion that Xavier will probably try to gloss over but this is enough for you right now.
“We should take tonight to practice for our move.”
Confused, you raise your eyebrows. “Practice?”
He nods.
“Sleeping together overnight. We did a few times before, well, only twice in the same bed, once in yours and once in mine,” he explains. You definitely have the clearest memory of that time, of bandaging his wounds, of cluelessly pinning him down shirtless on his bed before he turned the tables on you, and then—you remind yourself to resist going over the details, not with him this close to you. Somehow, Xavier is the one who looks the most insecure between the two of you. Finally, he whispers, “I haven’t forgotten even if it was a long time ago.”
His eyes are half-lidded, cloudy with thought. Something about him looks restrained and longing but it disappears when you finally swallow your swelling emotions and call out his name. There’s a twinkle of adoration that blows away whatever doubt there as he focuses on you again.
“I think about it when I have a hard time sleeping on overnight missions.” Xavier turns and slides his arm from under your head, choosing to lay on his side to face you. “It makes it a lot easier to rest in the hunting zones when you have good memories like that. So, it's nice to have a chance to make more."
“I don’t think I could fall asleep at all if I thought of something like that,” you admit, as close to an admission of your love for him as you could muster without mountains of alcohol. “I’d just think about how much I’d rather be home with them.”
“And now? Are you having trouble sleeping?” he asks huskily, and you have to fight not to keep staring at his lips and the dire need to kiss them as you breathe each other in. You reach out, touching his bare collar then instinctively searching for his slow pulse, counting it to calm yourself from the rush of adrenaline building in you.
You’re not even sure when you breathed out the “yes” that echoes softly from your mouth. His lips are so close to yours that you’re sure he could catch it in his breath if he wanted.
“How about I tell you a story to help you fall asleep?” He sees your hesitation and laughs under his breath. “I promise it’ll be much better than the last one.”
Accepting his offer, you agree to listen to him.
Xavier nods and gently swoops the back of his hand against your forehead and then your cheek before cupping it. There’s a gentle squeeze, and you think you understand why he likes it so much when you do it.
“Once, there was a beautiful queen and a knight,” he begins. “They lived together in a palace far away.”
“And they fall in love and live happily ever after?” you question, too busy in the full and fuzzy sensations filling your being to hold back.
“No, they were separated from each other for a long time,” Xavier corrects but his expression softens at the trickling concern building on your face. “Don’t worry. They meet again and become neighbors.”
“And then?”
“They become roommates,” he states matter-of-factly, which causes you to chuckle at him. You can’t even be bothered to care that he’s poking fun at you.
“Then, happily ever after?”
“I don’t know yet,” he answers, causing you to frown and your face to wrinkle with a sullen expression. His head tilts further into the plush of the pillow. “But you can help me figure out the ending.”
Feeling exhausted from the cathartic flow of emotions from him to you, you wiggle into him and throw your arm across his waist. “There’d probably be a lot of naps and stargazing involved,” you mumble before a tiny yawn.
“Sounds like a happy ending to me. It's good to finally see it,” he agrees, and you sigh when you feel a strong squeeze around your waist. “Although, you forgot to mention the part where the queen promises to not get out of bed without waking him this time.”
You giggle. “She promises not to get up without her knight.”
Content, he hums. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep now?"
"I think so after a story like that," you confess, reaching out to brush his hair back so you can see his eyes more clearly. "Then again, I always sleep good with you."
"You’ll sleep best when we're close, right?"
You gasp when he shifts on top of you. His lips briefly brush your forehead, by accident or not, you can’t tell as he pins you between himself and the bed. With a stutter, you call out his name yet he pays no heed as he nuzzles his head into your hair.
“Good night, roommate.”
“Xav-!” You pout when he instantly slumps against you. There’s no point trying to wake him up now that his five minutes of alertness have long expired.
Settling your chin against the top of his shoulder, you hook your arms under his to hug him against your chest. Your forearms settle at his mid-back as you hold him close so you can gently brush the ends of his hair.
When you ultimately decide to give in minutes after him, it’s to the warmth of his weight on top of you, the tickle of his hair against your forehead, and the increased pulsing of his heart. Xavier was right, this is too comfortable. Letting your eyes fall close, you wonder if three times a week would really be enough to satisfy this strangely familiar craving. You only wish that the two of you could meet in your dreams like he says, but it's enough knowing you'll have each other in the morning and then on.
“…Good night, Xavier. Sweet dreams,” you whisper before you too give into sleep’s spell.
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Writing Notes: The 4 Kinds of Love
Rollo May, in his 1969 book, "Love and Will," identified 4 kinds of love in Western tradition.
SEX
A biological function that can be satisfied through sexual intercourse or some other release of sexual tension.
Although it has become cheapened in modern Western societies, “it still remains the power of procreation, the drive which perpetuates the race, the source at once of the human being’s most intense pleasure and his [or her] most pervasive anxiety” (May, 1969, p. 38).
May believed that in ancient times sex was taken for granted, just as eating and sleeping were taken for granted.
In modern times, sex has become a problem:
First, during the Victorian period, Western societies generally denied sexual feelings, and sex was not a topic of conversation in polite company.
Then, during the 1920s, people reacted against this sexual suppression; sex suddenly came into the open and much of Western society was preoccupied with it.
May pointed out that society went from a period when having sex was fraught with guilt and anxiety to a time when not having it brought about guilt and anxiety.
EROS
In the United States, sex is frequently confused with eros.
Sex is a physiological need that seeks gratification through the release of tension.
Eros is a psychological desire that seeks procreation or creation through an enduring union with a loved one.
Eros is making love; sex is manipulating organs.
Eros is the wish to establish a lasting union; sex is the desire to experience pleasure.
Eros “takes wings from human imagination and is forever transcending all techniques, giving the laugh to all the ‘how to’ books by gaily swinging into orbit above our mechanical rules” (May, 1969, p. 74).
Eros is built on care and tenderness.
It longs to establish an enduring union with the other person, such that both partners experience delight and passion and both are broadened and deepened by the experience.
Because the human species could not survive without desire for a lasting union, eros can be regarded as the salvation of sex.
PHILIA
Eros, the salvation of sex, is built on the foundation of philia.
An intimate nonsexual friendship between two people.
Philia cannot be rushed; it takes time to grow, to develop, to sink its roots.
Examples of philia would be the slowly evolving love between siblings or between lifelong friends.
“Philia does not require that we do anything for the beloved except accept him, be with him, and enjoy him. It is friendship in the simplest, most direct terms” (May, 1969).
Harry Stack Sullivan placed great importance on preadolescence, that developmental epoch characterized by the need for a chum, someone who is more or less like oneself.
According to Sullivan, chumship or philia is a necessary requisite for healthy erotic relationships during early and late adolescence.
May, who was influenced by Sullivan at the William Alanson White Institute, agreed that philia makes eros possible.
The gradual, relaxed development of true friendship is a prerequisite for the enduring union of two people.
AGAPE
Just as eros depends on philia, so philia needs agape.
May (1969) defined agape as “esteem for the other, the concern for the other’s welfare beyond any gain that one can get out of it; disinterested love, typically, the love of God for man” (p. 319).
Agape is altruistic love.
It is a kind of spiritual love that carries with it the risk of playing God.
It does not depend on any behaviors or characteristics of the other person. In this sense, it is undeserved and unconditional.
In Summary
Healthy adult relationships blend all four forms of love.
They are based on sexual satisfaction, a desire for an enduring union, genuine friendship, and an unselfish concern for the welfare of the other person.
Such authentic love, unfortunately, is quite difficult.
It requires self-affirmation and the assertion of oneself.
“At the same time it requires tenderness, affirmation of the other, relaxing of competition as much as possible, self-abnegation at times in the interests of the loved one, and the age-old virtues of mercy and forgiveness” (May, 1981).
Sources: May, R. (1969). Love and will; May, R. (1981). Freedom and destiny
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