#oopsie someone got attached

[0vergrowngraveyard]

when life becomes way less lonely

[lokiina]

Perception...

[just-a-sketchbook]

First Quilt!

It has been a lot of fun and a lot of trial and error but it's done!!!

It's roughly 1.20 x 1.20m (which is a number of feet I can't be bothered to look up but let's say it's about child sized and it'll be great to chill on the couch).

I want to thank @langdon813 who I've never talked to (sorry if you hate being tagged) but whose gorgeous Drunkard path quilts made me wanna do it too :)

I had never done any quilting before (but I did sew), so here's what I've learned, if any beginner is interested in jumping off the deep end the way I did and wants advice from someone who has freshly acquired experience but will also not use any confusing technical terms (with pictures!) :

Fabric picking : so most advice I read was to go for pre-selected bundles of fabric that already go together, but I'm contrary and like to do my own thing so I used wax fabric (the blue ones on top the pile) I had laying around, which I strongly recommend: it's very easy to cut due to it being waxed, and I added a few fat squares from the shop, plus I also had the orange and blue floral and I based the coulour scheme on it. One thing that's true is it would have been easier to work with fabric of the same thickness, and the floral was givne to me by my ma who got in on trip to Thailand and it was alot thinner than the rest which didn't help.

Cutting: I got a rotary cutter for the occasion and it's great! Do not maybe push too hard on it and give yourself nerve damage the way I did (temporary but still), it's actually ery sharp and easy to use, so long as your template doesn't slip you're fine

Piecing :Yes you can do curved piecing even if you have zero experience, you just gotta make a template and

pin it a lot.

1/4 inch margins is the standard so I rolled with it because I don't like converting, but when you're strictly metric it is kind of annoying but doable because my machine does have a 1/4 inch mark and if you stick a length of tape along it it's pretty easy to follow, even for curved piecing.

Layout: At some point you've got to decide the layout is done, because I've re-arranged the blocks at least 6 times and it's a very good way to go insane. (For rough reference, my plan was to have no repeat fabrics in any of the circle-in-a-square blocks, and I only made one mistake which I clocked too late to change)

Chain piecing!! Meaning you pile your blocks together in a specific order (that I personnaly wrote straight up on each piece with a very sophisticated letter/numbers down/across system) and then just sew them together in a line without having to cut the thread between each pair. Looks a little like a fanion banner and at some point it feels like you'll be forever tangled into it but then it's magic :) It's not that hard actually and will save you a lot of time + there's a lot of online tutorials you can use.

Basting! (which it took me while to understand is the part where you attach the backing, the fluff and the quilt top together) : you need more safety pins. Safety pins will save you from the wrinkles and the unfortunate oopsies of realising you've caught your backing double folded into your quilting stitch, which I did a good three times and was not fun to undo. Also, I forgot to tape the backing to the floor and it probably would have helped with the wrinkling...

Backing : I used an old linen table cloth I got for 10€ at a charity shop, and I've still got about 2/3 of it left, so I recommend that, it's sturdy but soft enough, doesn't thread easily and can be washed at very high temps, if that's a thing you do.

Quilting! Well, my machine came with a quilting foot for free motion quilting (which means you're the one moving the fabric along in whichever direction and you can sort of draw with your stitches) and it seemed fun so I did that, and here's what I learned : curves are hard but doable, also my machine doesn't like to go back (kept skipping sitiches for some reason) so it involves a lot of shifting the quilt around, which isn't easy considering the bulk. And also, drawing the quilting pattern you want so you can follow it while quilting actually does help, I used an iron/heat-erasable pen and it worked just fine. Check your stitch tension, mine was too loose and I realised too late so there's spots where I could pull on the thread and it looped, had to stitch back over that.

Quilitng pattern : I wasn't sure what to do, supposedly your batting (aka: the fluff) comes with instructions on how tight you should quilt to avoid it coming apart through use but I got mine cut at the fabric shop and forgot to ask so I just rolled with a rough 10cm maximum distance in between stitching lines but tried to do less in most places. According to many blogs : the tighter your lines the stiffer your quilt, so I kept it loose for comfort. (Picture is halfway done, I added a smaller square/circle inside each square/circle and if you look at it you'll see it's actually diagonal lines form one end of the fabric to the other.)

Binding is boring, and there's nothing to it. I got a length of pre-cut bias binding, machine-sewed it front to front to the quilt top side of the quilt and the folded it back and secured it by hand to the back with a ladder stitch. Took me roughly and entire rewatch of the Last Of Us. There's a trick to doing the corners that's fairly simple but I've lost the tutorial...

Overall : I got myself a quilting book with techinques and such and it helped, but there's a ton of stuff online, and once you get over the very Christian American mum vibe of most of the blogs, it's all very helpful (and gorgeous!) (no offense meant to Christian American mums, it's just a bit of a culture shock from where I'm standing).

[highly-flammable]

Broke: Klaus Mikaelson fell in love with his therapist, Cami O’Connell

Woke: Klaus Mikaelson fell in love with psychology student Cami O’Connell who he befriended, and got therapy from her after she got her license because he didn’t trust people easily or feel comfortable with them

There is definitely an ethical violation with the whole therapy thing, but it’s not in the direction most people claim. Klaus and Cami knew way too much about each other’s personal lives by episode 1x04 and were already attached to each other and had even admitted to liking each other, which would automatically disqualify Cami from being his therapist under any kind of professional ethics.

So nope, Cami wasn’t making moony eyes at her patient from season 1. Actually, she had to give therapy between seasons 2 and 3 to the guy she was friends with, was mutually in love with and all tangled up with, because he had recently done an oopsie by cursing his baby mama and turning a bunch of innocent bystanders into collateral damage in order to gain Dahlia’s trust by punishing his family. After that fiasco Klaus had to show Elijah that he was trying for some personal growth, plus he was feeling the negative consequences of his actions, through the disapproval that hit him like a ton of bricks and the resulting loneliness. He was clearly not the type of person who would go get help from a normal therapist (Cami told him in 1x04 to talk to someone professionally and he said he preferred to talk to her), and as such Cami likely had to step in. And she did draw boundaries; he was the one who had trouble sticking to them.

You can still argue why on earth would Cami agree to provide therapy to him at that time, knowing it is unethical to do so for your friends and other loved ones? Simple actually. Anyone Klaus went to would have to be compelled, and that person would have those huge gaps in their memories that Cami had in early season 1. I doubt she would want someone else to go through that. Klaus trusted her and wouldn’t compel her, so in spite of their completely non-professional established relationship, she was ultimately more suited to his requirements.

What about the power dynamics, you ask? Well, Klaus was a 1000 year old vampire-werewolf hybrid who could invade people’s minds with a touch, maybe even from afar (we saw Elijah do it once in 1x02 to Rebekah), and could compel people not on vervain. Cami was a human girl in her 20s. She definitely had power in their relationship — he listened to her, her words or behaviour impacted his emotions or guided his actions a lot of the times, but she wasn’t in a position of power over him even with the therapy. I am not denying that it was still not ethical, but in a show like this where ethics are thrown out of the window all the time in ways worse than this, I am not gonna choose this hill to die on, personally.

Some might wonder, why did Klaus call Cami his therapist in season 1 and 2 if Cami wasn’t actually providing therapy professionally? Well, because she was training to be a therapist and he tried to hide their relationship behind that term because any other word to describe her was too personal, too loaded.

Klaus had some kind of feelings for her right from the beginning and he knew it in some capacity from 1x03, was keenly aware of it from 1x09, and was very clearly in love with her by 1x19. Cami knew of his feelings in 1x22 when he sent her away, with both of them crying. And after the whole incident where Mikael took her hostage to draw Klaus out and they both risked their lives for each other, it was quite obvious that both parties were very aware of the fact that their feelings were mutual.

For the entirety of the first two seasons it was a push and pull between them, trying to be there for each other but running away again and again because staying too close could be a bad idea and might put Cami in danger. Klaus was the master of running from his feelings and would often try to hide how much she meant to him, so he would just call her his therapist. Cami only used that term to describe herself once in 1x09, when she said she was his compelled therapist, and that was a frustrated, sarcastic statement. She knew he was just venting to her at the time instead of going to a therapist in a professional setting, so she basically threw that line at him, but their arrangement was anything but professional to begin with at the time. Cami giving Klaus sassy feedback while typing out the life story he was bombarding her with did not count as actual therapy.

[isa-ghost]

isa my beloved not to be demanding on main but can you pls give me some hcs for phil but like specifically aimed around the time he first adopted each of his kids? 🥺

i’m very 👀 to see if you have any thoughts on his attitudes or behaviours with them being different then as opposed to how he is now

you can also throw in stuff for missa too if u want as he is also their dad and I imagine some hcs might overlap ghgh

(this is oopsie btw i forget if i told u about me refreshing my main blog lmao)

Oh bet? I'm gonna do Phil's first impressions for each of them. :)

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Chayanne

"Oh god this kid is gonna die why is he obsessed with the edge of the WALL"

It was all over for him when Chayanne took that bath in the 2x2 puddle on top of the wall.

It was double over when the phantoms came down and he, Missa AND Chayanne all freaked the fuck out and ran into that teeny tiny house.

The SECOND Chayanne was like "I wanna kick ass and be a protector and fighter actually" Phil was like THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL KILL FOR HIM NOT JUST BECAUSE I'M OBLIGATED TO FOR THIS EVENT.

Honestly he couldn't believe he got so lucky when he and Missa picked Chayanne in the adoption center. How did he manage to pick an egg so compatible with him, interested in the things Phil has spent eons investing time and effort in.

Lullah

He was extremely nervous. He was nervous with Chayanne too but this was a different kind of nervous. Lullah was this soft, sweet, kind of timid little girl and he'd spent all his time so far being all rough and tumble and doing warrior shit with Chayanne. Now he had this lil girl who was Much different than them to take care of. He had no idea how it was gonna go and he was terrified smth would happen on his watch (he wasn't wrong).

He felt even worse bc there was this clear "this isn't my family, and I've barely gotten to know my family before being dumped on someone else" vibe he could do very little about. Mans was totally scrambling to figure out a way to make Tallulah feel more like she belonged with them. He wanted her comfortable at least.

And then her affinity for flowers came about and he latched onto it. It reminded him of something (Rose). :) He could work with flowers, and turtles.

Knowing him, he felt very attached to her right away, but felt like she took longer to properly attach to him. He assumed she just saw him as Abuelito, an obligation to be around because family or whatever. Mr. Overthinker definitely overthought about how Lullah felt.

But he committed to working his ass off to do whatever he could to make her feel like some sense of her normal was being maintained even in her father's absence. And swore to be as ready to kill for her as he was Chayanne, and not just out of obligation as a babysitter.

Missa

He was SO EXCITED. I don't think he'd talked much to Missa prior to being assigned with him. He thought it'd be a cool opportunity to get to know him more.

Tbh much like with Chayanne, that first OH FUCK family sprint to safety meant it was all over. Something about that moment it just clicked. Like yeah, he could spend the next unforeseen amount of time with this guy and their goofy risk-obsessed egg.

And then he discovered Missa is musical and instantly fell. Not romantically. But boy he fell.

After Day 1 he was super looking forward to spending every day with him and learning more about him (and hearing more guitar and singing).

Something about them communication-wise just instantly clicked as well. They just locked in immediately. Despite the distance they're stuck facing now, that hasn't changed either.

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[cadavirs]

(after) 5 am angel infodump before i go to bed bc i gotta throw him out into the world + pinboard

he can't die (unlike micah who can die but can't stay dead, he like. litrally can't die) + stops aging by his late twenties, though he doesn't realize this until he's in his forties. he tries to find out why, at first, but stops searching for the why and starts searching for a way to die in his mid sixties.

he was legally adopted by micah.

a missing child turned heir and now the head (boss) of "the darling family," a criminal organization that specializes in assassinations and weapons dealing, but does just a bit of (almost) everything. he killed the previous head, who was also his previous adoptive father, who made him kill his real father (angel didn't know it was his real father, at the time).

was made to believe his real parents never looked for him, when in fact they never stopped looking for him. his father got a call 12 years after his child's disappearance that gave him hope, only to be pushed off the roof of a building by said child. angel believed this man was an enemy who threatened the life of his adoptive father.

masks as a private detective, known for being cold and heartless, but incredibly efficient.

despite being the boss of the darling family and all of its operations, he never strays from getting his own hands dirty, and, in fact, prefers it. of course, he uses the connections he has everywhere in order to fly above the law, and shamelessly so.

his real mother is still alive and he looks after her from afar (he met her once and couldn't bear to tell her the truth).

he's had about two real friends in his entire life, one of them moved across the country in their first year of college, the other (nicknamed lucky ... rip softhearted king doomed by the narrative) was killed in their second year (in which the former friend came back for his funeral and angel almost strangled him 🥀).

said former friend now works under angel as a sort of second in command. going from someone angel trusted the most, to hated the most, to trusting the most again let's GO (no i dont even have a name for this guy yet don't look at me)

a whole different person in the outside world vs. when he's at home with micah and morana (his sibling @/gunsmiths).

only smiles when he's upset or playing someone. if he smiles at you, there's a 50% chance he's about to slam your head into the nearest surface, and a 50% chance he's about to (try to) fuck you over.

in high school he mostly kept to himself to stay out of trouble, save for when he had the job of getting close to lucky and unnamed friend (he was never meant to become actual friends with them but oopsies he grew attached). sometimes helped out kids who were being bullied, but only when the bullying kept him from getting to his destination or smth or they were just being particularly loud and annoying. so rlly he wasn't helping anyone but himself + definitely told a kid smth like "yk what i hate more than bullies? weak cowards." i fear he was the asshole with an aura of superiority 🥀 which tbh never went away

if he's not attached to you, you're 100% expendable to him.

doesn't even fully trust micah or morana, despite his attachment to them. losing his memory at such a young age and being used and manipulated by someone he thought saved his life and cared for him shattered his ability to trust in anyone or anything. doubt has become a permanent resident constantly eating away at him.

bisexual with a preference for men. ???romantic; he doesn't let anyone close enough for all that, and never bothers to explore or think about it. one night stands and acquaintances with benefits, no feelings attached, is all he knows. for now ........ >:)

wdym you don't trust him look at him he's 🤏

[mistfallengw2]

In honor of Pride Month, here's a rapidfire ramble about my OCs' orientations and how those and their actual preferences play off with their personalities and shape key moments of their story. Bonus context for my hc on queerness in Tyria.

Aurelia Dragonwings - Pansexual homoromantic Girls are pretty. I mean, boys are neat too, but she only ever had eyes for Ardea and later on Ellara, and that clear preference never had her experiment with the other side. The one and only experience she had with a guy was with her best friend Obsius, specifically when Ardea wanted to have a cub and she took one round "just to try it", only to end up having a cub as well (Adamas is an oopsie baby, yes). In general, labels are very confusing to her and the topic of romance held a lot of grief for years, so she would avoid answering any question on the matter, but if someone were to ask her friends, they'd just say she "doesn't know she's lesbian for someone".

Adamas Crystalsoul - Pansexual He's a pretty boy with great pedigree and had waves of people interested in him, but in the fahrar he was too focused on becoming Legionnaire to entertain childhood crushes, and then his heart got snatched away by Maeveryl before he even considered romance an option, still recovering from the loss of his would-be warband. Countless hearts got crushed by the fact that the Pact Commander's son was open about dating a sylvari and being loyal to them, yet Deryn somehow managed to woo the guy (only because Maeveryl sometimes quite literally pushed him towards her). Overall he has a feminine and androgynous preference, though like his mother he never had a proper chance to explore romance with guys.

Tocchix - Demisexual panromantic (trans guy) He spent most of his teenage years feeling sort of inadequate for romance because he never felt "the full pull" towards anyone (not helped by the comparison to a serial crush-haver like Fynn, his best friend in Lion's Arch), so he preferred to focus on training hard and join the Order of Whispers, figuring that it'd be a problem for his older self. Terrible at picking up on flirting attempts and needing to have it very slowly and clearly spelled out for him, he missed a ton of chances with many, and that was not helped by the fact that when he falls for someone, he becomes the definition of devotion, not seeing anyone else even to his detriment. He only ever fell for Iotta, Poffi and, many years later, Huki.

Maeveryl - Panromantic asexual (non-binary) While they are pan, they do have a strong preference for masculinity, or better, a general aversion towards feminine behavior and appearance. They had their first experience with romance with their saplinghood best friend, Morwen, and they quickly figured out femininity wasn't really for them, both for their own body and in a partner. After that, they only had another experience that ended bitterly, and then Adamas became their heart. Years later, when Deryn joins their relationship with Adamas, they don't share romantic feelings for each other, though they quickly become quite platonically affectionate with each other.

Ellara Echodancer - Homosexual Just lesbian. Girls gals girls. Only women of all kinds. She's totally not a hot mess, because she's got rizz and isn't afraid to use it, even just to have a little innocent flirty fun that totally isn't a distraction.

Hel Ravenlost - Homosexual G g girls... pr... etty... Don't worry, after losing Sieran without having been able to tell her how she felt for years, she does get better at not completely hiding her feelings. Luck isn't on her side, but third time's the charm, I swear!

Bunnie - Pansexual demiromantic (non-binary) She likes to sleep around, so anyone willing and compatible (both personality-wise and physically) is fair game for her to have a little no-strings-attached fun. As for the romantic side, I elaborated on it a bit here, but in short she does want romantic relationships and isn't afraid of showing the kind of interest in others that could lead to that, but she always had issues with developing feelings of the romantic kind and having them last, so she tends to coyly hide behind a bit of an emotionally-nonchalant facade until she feels safe to love someone.

Ethanryel - Asexual aromantic (agender) Just never felt anything of either kind of attraction, and that's very much fine for them. Bunnie once explained queerplatonic relationships to them, but that ended up being a sore point for them. The closest thing to that could have been their bond with Grace, a Zephyrite gal who had taught them a lot about healing and voiced for them to join the Zephyrite on their last travel. She had a pretty evident crush on them yet she was the first that didn't make them uncomfortable, but before they got to talk about anything of that matter, she was mortally wounded in the crash in Dry Top, and they never forgave themselves for not having been able to save her. Years later, when Aurene branded their arm to save them, Ethanryel took the title of Grace of Aurene in memory of their friend.

Deryn - Pansexual Gender doesn't matter to her, if one is a nice and hot charr, they're a nice and hot charr. Probably if Mae were a charr she'd have made a move on them as well, but after the initial fascinated curiosity towards the very concept of sylvari, only strong platonic feelings towards them are left.

Markus Blake - Bisexual Due to his parents being in a queerplatonic relationship and being told since really young that he'd have assured the freedom to choose they nearly didn't get (Nora and Lionel were childhood best friends who married each otherso that they could have the kid they both did want and be done with further family expectations, with her being lesbian and him aroace), he never really thought much of romance, thinking he'd just know when he found "the one". When he met Kai, he thought he'd found that one and hoped she'd eventually return his feelings for years, failing at being clear with her about it while ignoring what he felt towards Fynn, the best friend he had found at the same time. It took him a while, but, by what felt just short of divine intervention, he eventually figured out that the "one" was actually "two".

Nari - Bisexual homoromantic Gals is where it's at. She does find feminine people hot in general and had a few experimental flirts across the gender spectrum, but proper relationships are something she knows she wants only with gals. She believes that such kind of strong confidence in her own ideas was what caught Hel's attention in spite of not being norn, not realizing that Hel prefers non-norn until much later.

Iotta - Pansexual demiromantic Her opinion of romance is that it sucks, like all that comes with it. Sure, people can be hot in ways that make sense from a biological standpoint, but for her whole life she couldn't imagine willingly being in a relationship, because everyone else is grossly incompetent and, at best, more annoying than what she could deal with on a daily basis. Being in a relationship with a dork like Tocchix only confirmed that she hates it, because that kind of implicit vulnerability and distracting fondness for someone else goes against everything she knows to be safe, and she utterly despises the fact she wants more of it and that she played herself into it by getting that brilliant idea of manipulating him in the first place. And then being "left behind" shattered any positive perception of romance nearly irreparably, and it drives her mad that she can't get that yearning blade out of her heart so it can rot in peace. So yeah, romance sucks, and it sucks that she fell for it that one time.

Poffi - Demisexual biromantic Growing up in a small krewe that was part of the same polyamorous pod for years and that treated her like their own progeny, she was exposed to plenty of relationship examples, so she thought she had a pretty clear idea of what she was like by the time she left home to join the Order. Sadly she never got the chance to test her theories due to her general insecurities, and she also missed the pretty important part where maybe some girls can be just as romanceable as guys. (hey, at least AU!Poffi gets to go through quite the poly rollercoaster)

Daunte Burstspell - Homosexual He's a simple charr: he liked his guys hot like his fire, and life was not a little fun without the risk of burns. Verge was his flame since childhood, and they openly shared their warmth with many others. Daunte continued doing so after losing him, and even though it was never the same, he did genuinely care for the young norn he so gleefully annoyed to no end.

Hagan Wesson - Pansexual Forced to run away from Hoelbrak and break up with his childhood sweetheart, Gretna (Hel's sister), he eventually tried to get over it in some way, and ended up having some... positively revealing experiences. Swinging for years between times where he wanted to enjoy himself without attachment and others where he tried to ignore everything else to focus on his duty in the Vigil, after Daunte's death he's been more open about enjoying other people's company, and eventually ended up being reunited with Gretna after he had already settled with Flom.

Flom - Pansexual Good thing he likes everything and is quick to like others, because he genuinely believed "beggars can't be choosers" for the longest time. Even better thing, he now has people he likes and who chose him first (and a demon in his head who regularly calls him out on bs he should unlearn).

Zehmik - Homosexual (masculine non-binary) Guys are just neat, sorry gals. Lost count of how many flings he entertained during his years in the Mist War, always keeping feelings at arms' length due to the risky nature of their situation and a heartbreak he never recovered from. The occasional experiment only confirmed his very serious case of gay gay homosexual gay.

Edraas Noiza - Asexual aromantic (?) Due to being a highly experimental hybrid, its body is a biological mess that may have yet to fully mature and its perception of emotions is different from that of all other sentient species, so the concept of romance or anything of that nature is downright alien to it.

Lenorey - Asexual ?romantic She doesn't really get what the big deal about romance is, not beyond just preferring someone's company over others', while sex is just an activity that can be fun. In general she cared more about getting high off of toxins, so it's all of little interest to her. Now, finding a weird little asura that is literally toxic, gives you more toxins as part of the experiments she asked to perform on you, and you get just a little bit high when you kiss her? Maybe that's what love feels like.

[deludedfantasy]

#Vashu#I personally hc that Rem just looked at objects when she tried to name the twins and saw a knife#and Vash sneezed  so he became Vash

@makima-s-most-smile I hope you don’t mind me stealing your tags from one of my book club posts but they are the BEST and they got me thinking. I heard once that people give foster kittens stupid names like Fork or Garbage Bag so they don’t get attached to them when they have to give them away. Except you know how it goes. You get attached and now your cat has a stupid name.

What if Rem did the same thing? She looked around, gave the twins random names, hoping to not get attached because, you know, they’re Plants! She’s not equipped to be a mom, she’ll make this someone else’s problem at some point. But then, oopsie, they’re her children now and one of them is named Knives because she happened to look at one while naming him and the other one is Vash because he has a cute sneeze.

[mega-ringsandthings-world]

I'm back on my bullshit, and I'm about to make it everyone's problem! Sorry if everything's a bit scattered; I'm trying to get my thoughts in order, but I have so much stuff in my now overflowing brain folder. I'll have to sort it out later. Again take everything I say with a grain of salt I’m sure I will love your au wether I’ve got the right idea about it or not!

But oh my god! Your sketches are so good and clean—mwah, chef's kiss. And the sword before Yoru is peak "Hawk-boy has a type," and we all can see it. I wonder if he had it personally made to prepare to take on Yoru as a main blade later, if it existed at this time? Did he go through a catalog of specific special grade swords and go, "Mmm, yes, big blade!" and never look back? Sorry, off-topic, but he deserves a fancy, pretty blade, and those purple and pink jewels are very much like that for him and his vibe.

And huh, him showing Shanks kindness with the handkerchief! It's sweet, and Mihawk's already attached. Normally, Mihawk wouldn't have given Shanks the time of day until he could fight him, but adversity and the lack of autonomy have made him somewhat less controlled, or at least trying to gain some type of control, even if it's just making sure someone uses a handkerchief instead of their shirt. And Shanks, it kinda feels like Shanks already has a crush. He's emotionally defeated, devastated, and probably terrified, and here comes this guy, gruff and rude, but he doesn't ask about Roger, he doesn't want anything from Shanks, and he gives him something beautiful he made himself by hand, just so Shanks could wipe his tears and blow his nose. Fuck it all, I'd fall in love if someone did that for me.

They already feel so enmeshed; like the handkerchief sealed some type of pact with fate. Like the universe has turned and slotted these two together. And your wrote it so seemlessly! Shanks is vulnerable and unable to hide behind drinks, parties, and adventures. Mihawk is out of control, a big and main part of his character that later on becomes like a second skin. As much as he seems okay, this is pushing him into behavior that would likely be out of character if not under these circumstances. Gods, this is the type of character study I love! I will definitely be comparing and contrasting these two and their canon counterparts as they change, and the fic goes on. Tulips are probably about to become Shanks' favorite flower. And of course, Mihawk can embroider. He's a man of perfection and patience (ha, I can relate to that; never perfect indeed), and the delicate, slow needlework of embroidering sounds just right up his alley. Probably his form of meditation. I bet he does all the flowers on his shirts. I bet Shanks will tear his clothes in the future just so Mihawk will embroider flowers on them.

Now off to the boys for a second. Let's talk politics, specifically the revolutionaries. Are the revolutionaries going to be a big part of this fic? Because as you mentioned, the world government is about to commit an oopsie on the highest scale. Are some of those monsters going to be snatched up by Dragon and his revolution? Because this is about to radicalize a lot of people. A lot of powerful people. Hmmm, I wonder if he'll even be interested in what's happening to the pirates who got caught. He seems like a good and kind man, but a man who's willing to put the needs of the greater good over the needs of a few criminals. Pirates aren't exactly the good guys, so to speak, and if they were just headed for Impel Down, I don't think he'd do much for them. But I don't think that's where you're pulling this, and again, he is pragmatic and willing to mess up what the world government has planned. The oppressed, no matter their station or morals, are fellow oppressed, and I can see him looking into what the government's doing and maybe disrupting it to screw the government over. I don't know; just throwing thoughts out there.

But more importantly, in this AU, it seems that the Roger Pirates will be hunted even more than in canon, considering the Marines are on a mission to destroy piracy at the root, and a lot of would-be pirates they would have had to worry about just got snapped up! I don't think they'll be able to help Shanks even if they wanted to. And Garp, where's he in all this? On one hand, I can totally see him advocating for the eradication of the pirates and setting the trap. On the other hand, I'm not sure about him being so gung-ho about taking in Shanks and doing whatever the Marines plan to do with him. It might be a side plot for later, unless, once they get the prisoners, this all goes to Cipher Pol agents and out of the Marines' hands. Maybe this was their idea in the first place; it seems more up their alley than the Marines in general. Maybe a collaboration? Guess I’ll find out when I read.

But also, governments aren't good at mass arrests. How many civilians do you think got snapped up by accident?

Anyways, that's all I have for now. The art I promised should be posted tomorrow, hopefully; I just want to make a few adjustments. Should be all good. Also, do you have a playlist for this AU yet?

I'm pumped anytime I get your asks, hit away all you like! I love hashing this AU out like this. Most times you've hit it right on the head! I'm making it everyone's problem too. !! Glad you like them! Allow me to go on a moment, the 'before Yoru' sword is supposed to be modeled in appearances (jewels, handguard, inlaid blade) after a spanish or italian cusped falchion, and in utility, after the german kreigmesser. Based on appearances, they look closest to Yoru, and yeah, it's exactly 'Mihawk has a type.' He'd be the kind to find a design he likes and stick with it. Kreigmessers were military swords, used often by mercenaries, and used two-handed. Again, like Yoru. I think Mihawk would have obtained/made a sword suited to his fighting style, and that style does contain a lot of extended slashes. Yoru does exist, and I have a whole thing for how he will get it. Let's just say he becomes acquainted with it due to the marines. And yes. More pink and purple everything, actually. Those colors work for him so much. ^^ He's attached and he doesn't even know it himself. He thinks it's simply purely utilitarian, purely practical to make sure Shanks cleans up properly, but it's also to see what Shanks will do. If he'll refuse it, or be insulted, or double down, or turn his nose up at Mihawk's refinement. None of which Shanks does. And yes, also to retain control over the situation. If he has a handle on what is happening right beside him, it 'frees' him concentrate on the more severe aspects going on. Shanks does have a crush. Probably love from first handkerchief. Again, he doesn't know it yet either. Right now he's too steeped in grief, and he also would think Mihawk is out of his league. Still, Mihawk is his only sense of stability at the moment. Mihawk's indifference and stoic-ness is what will unwittingly keep Shanks sane, because at a time when he would have been drowning in despair, he instead is pressing back against Mihawk's opposite personality. And admiring his handkerchiefs. (A thing about the handkerchief, most sailors now how to sew, they have to. Shanks would know how to sew as well, which is why he isn't surprised at Mihawk making the handkerchief, but at it's prettiness. Shanks has never had the occasion to work beauty into the things he makes for himself. Also why he thinks a sweetheart made it for Mihawk) Just so! They don't have the mental armor of their older selves. They do not have the presence, the power, or the coping methods. They are not established. Mihawk is so young, nineteen is nothing, really, and the sympathy and care we only see bare glimpses of in his older self is not sealed away as it is then. At this age, he's haughty, but that is a projection of haughtiness as much as anything. Pitting older and younger against each other is so fun in that regard! Oh, that's for certain. Tulips become and remain his favorite flower. I embroider, and embroidering is relaxing, but requires focus, so perfect hobby for Mihawk. And he gets to use something sharp and pointy. His perfectionism is perhaps what leads to him taking up embroidering and even actual tailoring in the first place, he'd want total say over how he decorates/designs his things/clothes. And YES to Shanks deliberately making Mihawk have to mend his clothes. got to make a pt. 2

[aewrie]

Skull and ❤️ for Hollow and Radi :3

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

hollow: outside situations where they have been instructed to fight, or where they could easily conclude that such is the expected course of action, they hold back, both physically and emotionally. a lot. they will stand down until a confrontation is unavoidable, and stay on defensive unless absolutely necessary. but when they snap boy do they snap. similarly, you do not want to get in their way when they have been given the go-ahead by someone else. post-sealing, good luck trying to determine whether they are actually being mellow or simply burying the urge to disembowel whoever is pissing them off.

radiance: she does not like physical violence/confrontations. she will absolutely resort to that if she feels there is no other, or better, way to get around an issue, but she will avoid getting her hands dirty in that particular way if she can. (note: getting someone else to do her dirty work, including via puppeteering their body doesn't count, because technically it is that someone else getting their hands dirty. she loves her technicalities.) she much prefers persuasion, and is willing to push that quite far. on that vein, if she loses her cool and gets obviously angry, you know something really got under her skin, and/or she is desperate.

and the double hearts for u, under a cut because oopsie that got long. buckle up

♥ - family headcanon

hollow: they have a hard time with the idea of a family. in an abstract sense, they know what it means, but in practice, it is scary territory to consider.

when they get around to admitting to themself what the pale king and while lady are to them, terms with minimal emotional associations, like sire in place of father, are easier to digest. the other vessels they always considered their siblings, but it is not a family in the same sense as common bugs think of it. it is far too strange.

hornet is easiest to consider family in the usual sense, even if early on only in quiet corners of their mind buried deep down, and later on being something they have to relearn together.

radiance: she is the older one between grimm and her, at least, in terms of when they developed an awareness and a sense of self, and became individuals rather than just ideas. they consider each other siblings, but under different circumstances, that could have been different.

grimm made his first proper appearance after radiance created the moths, and at first, she thought she might like the company. she saw a fledgling god who was in some ways similar to her, but still figuring himself out, and felt a sense of responsibility, in a way not too dissimilar to the way she felt a sense of responsibility to her moths; they were her precious things. she feared a reality without their admiration and dedication to her, and needed to cultivate that. they were lost in this world when they were new and she would guide them. she had never met a new god, and this one showed up at her domain of all places.

problem is, this was in fact a god, and not another follower for her to add to her collection of devotees, or someone she could keep under her thumb.

when grimm showed even passing interest toward her moths, she got annoyed. those were hers. she did not want to share them with this newcomer she was previously happy to tolerate, happy to have around even, and around then was when grimm first joked that she is like an older sibling who does not want to share her toys.

(she did not like that comparison, largely because she knew it was true - not that she would openly admit it. but when grimm left the moths be, she was content enough to let it slide.)

but when he started outwardly showing signs of having command over the parts of the dream realm she hadn't really claimed, things got strained really fast. radiance did not just not want to share her toys, she did not want to share her entire playground.

she did consider him a brother, and throughout that initial feeling attachment remained and developed. but she felt threatened by him having any power over something that she thought hers, even is she never wanted it. she was bitter when he became, or rather, turned out to be something other than she had hoped.

♡ - romantic headcanon

hollow: they get very insecure and bashful about being seen as wanting affection of any kind, let alone romantic. to boot, they aren't even sure what they want, and have a hard time knowing when their feelings are romantic or something else.

just the thought of love, because it was something forbidden and 'unnecessary', gets them easily emotionally compromised. they don't know what to do with an open show of affection toward them, and will quickly disregard it as undeserved or the like, because that is easier than actually dealing with the emotions. post-canon & a lot of healing later it gets better, but they still are uncertain at times.

radiance: girl does not know know how to have a healthy relationship, and would need a lot of self-reflection and work before she could deliver something other than at-best-dysfunctional. she gets jealous and insecure, and needs near-constant attention and validation to be satisfied and feel secure in a relationship.

even at her best, she is easily a lot to handle, and she often doesn't realize that. someone equally strong-willed and brash would have an easier time handling her ups and downs, but chances are she would not be pleased being the one getting handled. she can be a lot less intense if it is someone else that approaches her first, because if these is something she likes it's gaining someone's attention and admiration without having to go out of her way to get it, but when she knows what she wants, godspeed.

[rawmeknockout]

OPTIMUS WITH THE CLOTHES FUCKING??? hahaha oopsies I left one of my shirts/ dresses on the floor sure hope someone doesn't "borrow" it heehee😋😋

if theyre a big human fucker you know theyve got a weird attachment to your human things

[wally-franks]

i hc that u have overflowing levels of swag and every time you post any type of art you shoukd be handed 100 dollars from the government directly. as compensation for the stinkies on twatter

i would also love to hear ur hcs for sammy and wally again bcos ur hcs are always so silly and fun. i love them sm

QOWAUA YOU'RE TO SWEETEST BUNNI 😭😭😭🥹🥹 SJAJAHH. Luckily twitter has been a bit better to deal with :) I just block whenever people are being a bit too annoying for my own tastes so I got that covered thihi

And omg, you're asking at such a good time!!! JDSHEH.. I was actually writing down some hcs yesterday because I was feeling so silly and happy!! (also me: wrote down mainly sad hcs OOPSIE HAHA) mainly how Sammy and wally are at home!!!! :33 more under the cut (also you're obligated to share some or your hcs aswell!! I wanna hear more about your wally and Thomas and maybee Sammy too so badlyyy!!!!)

At home they're a bit more different than work of course.. since Sammy can let down his guard there.. He doesn't do much than compose and read books. But that's fine. Now that wally is there, he can help Sammy to keep up with himself. also, silly funfact.. As some may know, my Sammy has cats.

Though, he had to give them away to his mother since he just couldn't take care of them himself anymore. Buttt when wally moves in they take the cats back :3!!.. Wally doesn't mind doing most of the work. He's used to it from his farmer childhood with 11 sisters..

Anyhow. Sammy is the kind of person to wait for wally before he goes to sleep. He doesn't like sleeping alone. He likes the comfort of having someone around. Again, he never shows his appreciatiom but he really appreciates it.

Also the reason you never see him smile is because.. He's just always thinking. "How did I deserve someone like that? do I even deserve that? He's probably gonna get tired of me soon. enough, don't get yourself too attached now." There's just so much fear and doubt in his heart

Nighttime is generally the time where Sammy tends to think the most about stuff. Even though he know he shouldn't, since he REALLY needs that rest. It even makes him cry sometimes. When wally notices, there's no word exchange. Just gestures, understanding and comfort :")

I always really liked to imagine that Sammy has Thanatophobia and probably barely gets any sleep because of it. It's one of the things Sammy thinks about a lot at night.. Wally is the opposite. He really doesn't care about death.

[keaganz]

First line game

I got tagged by @fuctacles and promptly forgot about it, oopsie.

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics.

The Khalasars Blessing

Steve is born lucky and blessed, in the eyes of his khalasars. The Great Stallion had blessed them with a male omega with golden brown eyes.

I'll be your stud

A wet squelching sound accompanied by pained muffled whimper fills the room as Eddie punches the alpha he's got chained up to a water pipe attached to the ceiling, in his stomach again.

How Steph got her grove back

Steph looks out at the ocean from the lounger she's laying on, her hands resting on the swell of her stomach.

Who better to satisfy an omega than an other omega (working title)

Billy is everything an alpha should be, he is squarely build, broad chest, his scent is reminiscent of an ocean storm, salty with sharp musky undertones and his fangs are sharp that he's constantly flashing.

This tainted love I've given

“FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU GARETH! I never want to see you again! You're fucking dead to me you fucking asshole! You kept my PUP, my OMEGA from me! And for what?! Huh?!! You DISGUST ME! You claim to love me! This isn't love!”

Princess With a Nailbat

Eddie closes the lid of his laptop as he lets out a sigh.

Ode to 80's slasher

Steve trips and falls as he runs away from the axe wielding killer that he just witnessed hacking up Nancy's body

Letters

To whomever this gets sent to

Mermay 1

“ ….. I think someone should get fired for this. They take off their fur like a coat when they shape shift not a cohu…cohuleen dru druith or whatever. ”

Mermay 2

Steve has felt adrift, no, lost for most of his life.

@ficsforfundota @glassbxttless @alexandritehethey @prettycalla @getaapologist

[angelicsera]

“It won’t be like this forever, it’s only temporary” don’t piss me off. Don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me offf don’t piss me offffffffffff pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee. I was bound to be like this since day ONE. My mother fucking hates me, my dad barely does ANYTHING, my siblings are all just as fucking unwell in their own rights. I have been raped since before I could fully form sentences, I dated a pedophile for years because I fucking wanted someone there for me, I’ve been forced to harm other people and animals, I can’t fucking do this anymore. I’ve had no healthy relationship and then when I finally got into one, we have barely been able to talk. I miss him so much. I wish I could just kill myself. He’s one of the only reasons why I haven’t, because I don’t have the heart to leave him without telling him. That would make me worse of a girlfriend than I already fucking am, and I don’t even know how that’s possible. I feel so many things at once, I don’t understand. I can be fine one minute and spiraling the next. It makes me feel like I’m lying about my emotions. How the fuck could I be doing so bad one minute and then be fine the next. It can’t be that bad then, it just doesn’t make sense. Oh my God and also my little brother. I KNOW he isn’t fucking doing well, it’s so blatantly obvious, but he’s just like me. He will NOT take help. He’s so fucking stuck in his ways, but he insists on trying to help others (occasionally). It’s not going to help him. I think he’s also at the point where he believes it’ll never get better for him. It isn’t TRUE UGHHHHHHHHH. He needs to get better habits and leave what he’s doing rn. I know it’s easy to be attached to those things, but it is no good for him. If I sit down and talk with him about it, it’ll just be “Okay.” or “I’m fine.” God DAMN, Zero. WHY WON’T YOU LET ME FUCKING HELP YOU. He’s one of the only good things I even have in my life right now, and it’s eating me alive seeing him in a bad state. If it KILLS ME I will help that kid. I don’t even know. I think this post was just me rambling. Oh, and then there is Otto and my brother. I’m happy for them, I don’t know what to say. It’s strange seeing two people who I am (was?) extremely close with also start getting close to each other…I’m not jealous. It wasn’t healthy how I felt about Otto. It was obsessive, and I know that. I didn’t like it, and I still don’t. I think I’m getting better. No I’m not, I threatened to stab him yesterday. OH MY fucking GOD I NEED TO SHUT UP OR JUST KILL MYSELF. Im still better now, I think. It doesn’t hurt as much thinking about him and going long periods not talking with him. #healing!!!!!! But at the same time, it’s like the thought is always nagging me. Maybe this is the schizophrenia…I hallucinate stuff related to him a lot, I’ve attempted multiple times over this. That’s okay though, I’ll always have love for him. His happiness is just as important as mine, and if he’s happy with my brother, then that’s what matters. He’s still in my life that way, yeah….Yeah!!!!! Oh em gee!! So smart, Sera.’so fucking smart. I didn’t do my school work. Oopsie daises. Oh well. Oh well!!!! KODA. HIM HIM HIM. So many things to say!!! So much!!! Koda, sleep with one eye open! Don’t sleep at all actually! I never forget! I don’t EVER forget, actually! Remember that I always remember! Much love!

Moral of the post; it’ll never get better for me.

[calliemity]

oh btw for my pokemon team post, i played around a lot with other possible pokemon for a bit until i settled on the ones i went with, i think my choices were good tho im proud!

i have a lot of trouble thinking of audrey's sixth pokemon. i had like 4 other candidates (cherrim, lopunny, fomantis, and even shaymin at one point) but none of them fit the vibe i had in my head? alcremie totally hit the mark tho! its super cute and it has so many customizable traits, and itd be helpful for her baking hobby :] i hc that she bakes as a hobby at least. i chose a vanilla cream cuz it seems the moet neutral and versatile of the flavors, buttttt if that wasnt a factor i wouldve gone with either mint or matcha, or even salted cream! clover sweet for the green motif as well, hehe. additionally i think that after orin dies, audrey would adopt some of his pokemon (i dont see his krookodile or malamar enjoying that, maybe even his bishop. maybe they just run off lmao) so shes getting an additional 3 pokemon at the very least (at this point she might as well run a daycare.) i think she would bond particularly intensely with his mawile since its the pokemon he mistreated the most and she can sympathize with that. and since she doesnt battle it doesnt have to worry about going through that trauma again, since i highly doubt that mawile would wanna battle or mega evolve even in a strong-bonded situation (its also a fairy type which is one of her main types i assigned her!!!)

for seymour, i had like 20 other grass types that i thought he'd also like doing research on. i originally wanted him to have 3 ghosts types to mirror his 3 kills, but i also still wanted it to be a grass type and my only options were phantump/trevenant and that new tumbleweed pokemon (forgot the name oopsie) and neither were vibing with me! i can totally see him looking into trevenant though. some other ideas i had were the budew family, cacnea/cacture, the turtwig family, rotom mow form, pansage/simisage, deerling/sawsbuck, fomantis/lurantis, skiddo/gogoat, and scovillain. in my head he has all of those pokemon in the pc lmao, plus a few more. maybe even some fire, flying, and water types to test them out against grass types?

i went through a long mental battle of whether i was going to add a mawile or an aegislash to orin's team. after getting some input from friends it seemed that mawile won by a longshot, but i do feel a little sad for the loss of aegislash. it wouldve symbolically represented one of his dental tools (its a sword. he would use a sword in someones mouth if he could), its ability to rapidly change between an offensive and defensive form would reflect his own temperament of having a defensive and (an attempt at an) approachable persona before switching to an offensive and harmful one. the honege family also kills people by wrapping their cloth-arms around a victim's face and draining their life force, and like... is that not basically what his gas mask did to him. i did consider replacing his indeedee but i got too attached to him having an indeedee dental assistant that takes on his maladjusted temperament lmao. maybe his indeedee could be seperate from his main team but likeeee i dont wanna give that dickwad a 7th pokemon. whatever its probably for the best