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vaguely-concerned · 1 year ago

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I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj)

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed.

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.)

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane.

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably.

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in.

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say)

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style) but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line:

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)…

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts.

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it”

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

#star wars #dooku jedi lost #count dooku #sifo dyas #dooku x sifo dyas #disaster lineage #lene kostana #star wars meta #rael averross #qui gon jinn #I'm being peak on my bullshit in this one. you're welcome and/or I'm sorry as appropriate

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seresinsbabe · 2 years ago

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Some Strings Attached

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x fem!reader

Synopsis: It was supposed to be a quick fuck. No strings attached. That was all. But six weeks later when you’re staring at two pink lines you realize there were some strings attached. And now you have no idea how to find the father because you only know his first name.

Warnings: Mentions of abortion, drinking, this chapter is a bit angsty

Word Count: 1.5k

THIS BLOG AND ITS FICS ARE 18+! MINORS DNI!

I do not consent to having any of my work shared on any other platform. If you see any rendition of my works on another site know that it has been posted without my permission.

A/N: I kind of hate this chapter, but I think that's just my brain telling me it sucks because it's so short

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Turns out finding someone who’s first name was the only thing you knew about them was much harder than you thought. Jake might not have even been his first name. It could be his middle name or a nickname for all you knew. And the only other things you could remember were that he was from Texas and he was in the Navy. As far as you knew that could all be a lie and from your search he didn’t have much of a public social media presence. This whole thing completely backfired on you. You should have stayed celibate. Then you wouldn’t be in this position.

Technically you still had an out. There was still time left to go to the clinic, but every time you thought about that it made you sad. No, this pregnancy wasn’t planned. And no, you didn’t really even know the father even if you knew who the father was. It wasn’t going to be easy, but when you finally told your parents and their faces lit up after the initial shock you knew you were making the right choice. Because dad or no day, this baby would always be loved, it would always have the best support system, because you had the best support system.

“Still nothing?”

“No, still nothing. Next time you get knocked up by a one night stand maybe get a little more information.” Cassie quipped on the other end of the phone.

“Ha. Ha.” You responded dryly. Cassie was trying to bring some humor to the situation. It had been two weeks since your first ultrasound and you had another cheek coming in two weeks. So far there was no bump, no one knew you were pregnant unless you told them. Which was how you wanted it right now. The only person outside of your parents and Cassie that knew was your boss.

Out of everyone, you were most afraid of disappointing Mr. Benjamin. He had taken you under his wing the second you got hired on at the office. He knew your end goal was to become a lawyer and he was determined to make that happen. An unplanned pregnancy was the last thing you needed and you were scared he would no longer feel confident in your ability to achieve that goal. You had expected him to be upset, but he was the opposite. Turns out his eldest was an ‘oopsie baby’ as well. He didn’t sugar coat that it wouldn’t be easy, especially as a single parent. He did say that if there was anyone more than capable of making it work, it would be you.

“Yeah, next time I get knocked up by a green eyed mystery man I’ll be sure to say ‘hey, just in case you knock me up can I get your information?’. What dick deflator that’ll be.” You snorted at your own comment as you skimmed Ralph’s selection of prenatal vitamins. There were so many options and for the life of you you couldn’t remember the brand your doctor had recommended. You were focused on the bottle in your hands, reading about everything that was in it while Cassie droned on about something on the phone. So focused that you didn’t notice you were no longer the only person in the aisle until they spoke up.

“You’re pregnant?” Your body went stiff. It wasn’t a voice you heard often, but it was one you knew.

“Cassie, I gotta go.” You hung up without so much as a goodbye and turned to face him. Standing with a basket hung on his arm, in a pair of service Khakis and a look you couldn’t quite read on his face was Jake. The Jake. This was definitely not how you envisioned him finding out. Hell, you hadn’t even figured that out yet. You wanted to find him before you got that far.

Jake took a few steps closer to you and a wave of nausea hit. Whether it was from the baby or the situation at hand you weren’t sure, but it hit you hard and you were trying to keep a straight face.

“Uh..yeah. I’ve been trying to find you, so I could tell you. Haven’t had much luck…o-obviously.” You let out a nervous laugh as you dug through your purse. Eventually you found the extra ultrasound picture you’d had printed. The one with all your information written on the back in your half-print-half-cursive handwriting. You’d made it that way in case you did find him and had decided to just leave a letter on his car or something when you wussed out on actually telling him in person. “Here, this was the first ultrasound.” Your hand was shaky as you held the glossy paper with the grainy photo of a blob on it.

Jake softly grabbed it from you. Reading him was hard, but the second he looked up at you after a solid minute of staring you knew how he felt.

“I don’t want any part of this.” It felt like a gut punch even though you had prepared for this kind of reaction from him. It was a lot. Even more so when you find out in the middle of a chain store vitamin aisle. “If you had some little plan to get pregnant for money or benefits it’s not going to work. I’m not ready to be a parent. I don’t want this kid. Keep it or not. You’re on your own.” He said it so coldly. Not at all warm and inviting like he’d been that night. You damn sure didn’t deserve to be called a gold digger.

Jake tried to hand the ultrasound back to you, but you just shook your head and shoved his hand back towards him.

“Keep it. Throw it away. I don’t give a fuck.” You turned away from him. As much as you wanted to scream at him, this wasn’t the place. “It’s now or it’s never. If you decide you want to be part of this baby’s life, decide now, because whether it's a year or ten from now, I won’t give you the chance again.” The last thing you wanted for this baby was to have a flaky father. “With or without you, we’ll be just fine.” The nausea was ten times worse as you fled the aisle and the store all together. Completely forgetting about the reason you’d even gone in the first place.

Any strength or confidence you’d had just now when facing Jake had been replaced with a steady stream of tears. Your car was silent except for your sobs. It took – well you weren’t sure how long it took you to calm down enough to drive home, but eventually you did. Finding Cassie waiting at your front door with two bottles in her hand – one sparkling grape juice and the other wine.

A raised eyebrow prompted Cassie to explain. “To celebrate I found Jake! Wait-” Her eyes narrowed and inspected your face closer. “You’ve been crying. Is this a pregnancy cry or did something happen?” You let out a heavy sigh as your key slid into the lock.

Some time and a half-eaten pizza later the story was out. Telling it out loud made you feel even dumber than you already had. Of course he was going to react badly. This had been a no strings attached deal and here you were, attached to him by not just a string, but a fucking chain. You couldn’t exactly blame him for reacting the way he did. Doesn’t mean it didn’t feel any less shitty.

Cassie, who was now almost a bottle of wine deep, looked as pissed as ever.

“So he didn’t give you a chance to explain? Just called you a gold digger and said fuck this kid?” Swallowing hard you let out a nod. More or less that’s what he had said to you.”I’m gonna kill him.” You watched as she took the last swig of wine and then slammed the bottle down on the counter top. “I-I’m gonna castrate him! Yeah, s’can’t get anymore sweet girls like you knocked up!” You rolled your eyes and grabbed the empty bottle from Cassie. It was getting late and she was only over because tomorrow you guys were going to start packing your apartment up. You had yet to find a new place, but in the meantime you were going to crash at her place until you figured this whole thing out.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Cassie frowned at your words, but you just stood up and started searching your cabinet for ibuprofen and a pedialyte packet. When you looked at Cassie again she was starting to nod off. “Are you going to keep this whole ‘drinking for you and me’ schtick up the entire pregnancy?” You laughed as you helped her over to your couch.

Cassie nodded, popped the ibuprofen and downed half the glass of pedialyte before collapsing on the couch and letting you tuck her in.

“You’re gon’be such a good mama.” The redhead mumbled in her sleep, clutching onto the couch pillow. And you weren’t sure why, maybe it was the pregnancy or everything that had happened but it brought tears to your eyes.

Jake or no Jake this baby was going to be loved.

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#jake seresin fic #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x y/n #hangman x reader #hangman x you #hangman x y/n #jake seresin x you #top gun au #top gun maverick

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mistfallengw2 · 7 months ago

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In honor of Pride Month, here's a rapidfire ramble about my OCs' orientations and how those and their actual preferences play off with their personalities and shape key moments of their story. Bonus context for my hc on queerness in Tyria.

Aurelia Dragonwings - Pansexual homoromantic Girls are pretty. I mean, boys are neat too, but she only ever had eyes for Ardea and later on Ellara, and that clear preference never had her experiment with the other side. The one and only experience she had with a guy was with her best friend Obsius, specifically when Ardea wanted to have a cub and she took one round "just to try it", only to end up having a cub as well (Adamas is an oopsie baby, yes). In general, labels are very confusing to her and the topic of romance held a lot of grief for years, so she would avoid answering any question on the matter, but if someone were to ask her friends, they'd just say she "doesn't know she's lesbian for someone".

Adamas Crystalsoul - Pansexual He's a pretty boy with great pedigree and had waves of people interested in him, but in the fahrar he was too focused on becoming Legionnaire to entertain childhood crushes, and then his heart got snatched away by Maeveryl before he even considered romance an option, still recovering from the loss of his would-be warband. Countless hearts got crushed by the fact that the Pact Commander's son was open about dating a sylvari and being loyal to them, yet Deryn somehow managed to woo the guy (only because Maeveryl sometimes quite literally pushed him towards her). Overall he has a feminine and androgynous preference, though like his mother he never had a proper chance to explore romance with guys.

Tocchix - Demisexual panromantic (trans guy) He spent most of his teenage years feeling sort of inadequate for romance because he never felt "the full pull" towards anyone (not helped by the comparison to a serial crush-haver like Fynn, his best friend in Lion's Arch), so he preferred to focus on training hard and join the Order of Whispers, figuring that it'd be a problem for his older self. Terrible at picking up on flirting attempts and needing to have it very slowly and clearly spelled out for him, he missed a ton of chances with many, and that was not helped by the fact that when he falls for someone, he becomes the definition of devotion, not seeing anyone else even to his detriment. He only ever fell for Iotta, Poffi and, many years later, Huki.

Maeveryl - Panromantic asexual (non-binary) While they are pan, they do have a strong preference for masculinity, or better, a general aversion towards feminine behavior and appearance. They had their first experience with romance with their saplinghood best friend, Morwen, and they quickly figured out femininity wasn't really for them, both for their own body and in a partner. After that, they only had another experience that ended bitterly, and then Adamas became their heart. Years later, when Deryn joins their relationship with Adamas, they don't share romantic feelings for each other, though they quickly become quite platonically affectionate with each other.

Ellara Echodancer - Homosexual Just lesbian. Girls gals girls. Only women of all kinds. She's totally not a hot mess, because she's got rizz and isn't afraid to use it, even just to have a little innocent flirty fun that totally isn't a distraction.

Hel Ravenlost - Homosexual G g girls... pr... etty... Don't worry, after losing Sieran without having been able to tell her how she felt for years, she does get better at not completely hiding her feelings. Luck isn't on her side, but third time's the charm, I swear!

Bunnie - Pansexual demiromantic (non-binary) She likes to sleep around, so anyone willing and compatible (both personality-wise and physically) is fair game for her to have a little no-strings-attached fun. As for the romantic side, I elaborated on it a bit here, but in short she does want romantic relationships and isn't afraid of showing the kind of interest in others that could lead to that, but she always had issues with developing feelings of the romantic kind and having them last, so she tends to coyly hide behind a bit of an emotionally-nonchalant facade until she feels safe to love someone.

Ethanryel - Asexual aromantic (agender) Just never felt anything of either kind of attraction, and that's very much fine for them. Bunnie once explained queerplatonic relationships to them, but that ended up being a sore point for them. The closest thing to that could have been their bond with Grace, a Zephyrite gal who had taught them a lot about healing and voiced for them to join the Zephyrite on their last travel. She had a pretty evident crush on them yet she was the first that didn't make them uncomfortable, but before they got to talk about anything of that matter, she was mortally wounded in the crash in Dry Top, and they never forgave themselves for not having been able to save her. Years later, when Aurene branded their arm to save them, Ethanryel took the title of Grace of Aurene in memory of their friend.

Deryn - Pansexual Gender doesn't matter to her, if one is a nice and hot charr, they're a nice and hot charr. Probably if Mae were a charr she'd have made a move on them as well, but after the initial fascinated curiosity towards the very concept of sylvari, only strong platonic feelings towards them are left.

Markus Blake - Bisexual Due to his parents being in a queerplatonic relationship and being told since really young that he'd have assured the freedom to choose they nearly didn't get (Nora and Lionel were childhood best friends who married each otherso that they could have the kid they both did want and be done with further family expectations, with her being lesbian and him aroace), he never really thought much of romance, thinking he'd just know when he found "the one". When he met Kai, he thought he'd found that one and hoped she'd eventually return his feelings for years, failing at being clear with her about it while ignoring what he felt towards Fynn, the best friend he had found at the same time. It took him a while, but, by what felt just short of divine intervention, he eventually figured out that the "one" was actually "two".

Nari - Bisexual homoromantic Gals is where it's at. She does find feminine people hot in general and had a few experimental flirts across the gender spectrum, but proper relationships are something she knows she wants only with gals. She believes that such kind of strong confidence in her own ideas was what caught Hel's attention in spite of not being norn, not realizing that Hel prefers non-norn until much later.

Iotta - Pansexual demiromantic Her opinion of romance is that it sucks, like all that comes with it. Sure, people can be hot in ways that make sense from a biological standpoint, but for her whole life she couldn't imagine willingly being in a relationship, because everyone else is grossly incompetent and, at best, more annoying than what she could deal with on a daily basis. Being in a relationship with a dork like Tocchix only confirmed that she hates it, because that kind of implicit vulnerability and distracting fondness for someone else goes against everything she knows to be safe, and she utterly despises the fact she wants more of it and that she played herself into it by getting that brilliant idea of manipulating him in the first place. And then being "left behind" shattered any positive perception of romance nearly irreparably, and it drives her mad that she can't get that yearning blade out of her heart so it can rot in peace. So yeah, romance sucks, and it sucks that she fell for it that one time.

Poffi - Demisexual biromantic Growing up in a small krewe that was part of the same polyamorous pod for years and that treated her like their own progeny, she was exposed to plenty of relationship examples, so she thought she had a pretty clear idea of what she was like by the time she left home to join the Order. Sadly she never got the chance to test her theories due to her general insecurities, and she also missed the pretty important part where maybe some girls can be just as romanceable as guys. (hey, at least AU!Poffi gets to go through quite the poly rollercoaster)

Daunte Burstspell - Homosexual He's a simple charr: he liked his guys hot like his fire, and life was not a little fun without the risk of burns. Verge was his flame since childhood, and they openly shared their warmth with many others. Daunte continued doing so after losing him, and even though it was never the same, he did genuinely care for the young norn he so gleefully annoyed to no end.

Hagan Wesson - Pansexual Forced to run away from Hoelbrak and break up with his childhood sweetheart, Gretna (Hel's sister), he eventually tried to get over it in some way, and ended up having some... positively revealing experiences. Swinging for years between times where he wanted to enjoy himself without attachment and others where he tried to ignore everything else to focus on his duty in the Vigil, after Daunte's death he's been more open about enjoying other people's company, and eventually ended up being reunited with Gretna after he had already settled with Flom.

Flom - Pansexual Good thing he likes everything and is quick to like others, because he genuinely believed "beggars can't be choosers" for the longest time. Even better thing, he now has people he likes and who chose him first (and a demon in his head who regularly calls him out on bs he should unlearn).

Zehmik - Homosexual (masculine non-binary) Guys are just neat, sorry gals. Lost count of how many flings he entertained during his years in the Mist War, always keeping feelings at arms' length due to the risky nature of their situation and a heartbreak he never recovered from. The occasional experiment only confirmed his very serious case of gay gay homosexual gay.

Edraas Noiza - Asexual aromantic (?) Due to being a highly experimental hybrid, its body is a biological mess that may have yet to fully mature and its perception of emotions is different from that of all other sentient species, so the concept of romance or anything of that nature is downright alien to it.

Lenorey - Asexual ?romantic She doesn't really get what the big deal about romance is, not beyond just preferring someone's company over others', while sex is just an activity that can be fun. In general she cared more about getting high off of toxins, so it's all of little interest to her. Now, finding a weird little asura that is literally toxic, gives you more toxins as part of the experiments she asked to perform on you, and you get just a little bit high when you kiss her? Maybe that's what love feels like.

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deludedfantasy · 1 year ago

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#Vashu#I personally hc that Rem just looked at objects when she tried to name the twins and saw a knife#and Vash sneezed so he became Vash

@makima-s-most-smile I hope you don’t mind me stealing your tags from one of my book club posts but they are the BEST and they got me thinking. I heard once that people give foster kittens stupid names like Fork or Garbage Bag so they don’t get attached to them when they have to give them away. Except you know how it goes. You get attached and now your cat has a stupid name.

What if Rem did the same thing? She looked around, gave the twins random names, hoping to not get attached because, you know, they’re Plants! She’s not equipped to be a mom, she’ll make this someone else’s problem at some point. But then, oopsie, they’re her children now and one of them is named Knives because she happened to look at one while naming him and the other one is Vash because he has a cute sneeze.

#trigun #trigunbookclub

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waitineedaname · 1 year ago

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thought I should collect my vague fma/mp100 thoughts here to make it easier to have them all in one place !

basic plot/character stuff

ed and al are both talented young psychics who got their powers when they were pretty young. ed got his powers around the time their dad (a CRAZY powerful psychic) left, and al got his shortly after their mom died :(

they thought they could use their powers to bring their mom back as a spirit, but it went. very bad. instead, an evil spirit took advantage of them and started fucking Eating Their Life Forces. al freaked out and astral projected out of panic, but his entire body was consumed so now he's. stuck like that. ed managed to exorcise the spirit, but not until after his arm and leg are devoured too

their motivation is to get rid of evil spirits that take advantage of people and hurt them like this, which is what takes them to roy mustang's door

roy mustang is a fake psychic pretending to have pyrokinesis (he just has a flamethrower behind his desk) because I think that's funny. he's running an exorcism business like spirits and such, except he has a larger crew -- mostly his friends he can call up to do odd jobs for him, like fixing the leaky pipes that make noises that make people think their house is haunted or whatever. he's also the only exorcism business that's willing to hire a teenager, so that's how the elrics end up working for him

in addition to mustang's crew of non-psychics, he also has hughes, who is tragically a ghost. there is definitely some tragic back story here that I'm still working on hashing out, but they've kind of come to terms about it now. he still haunts his family, who know he's there, and he agrees to help out mustang with Actual Spirit Issues when the elrics are unavailable

the elrics' quest to deal with manipulative evil spirits leads them to encounter the sins, who are all very powerful evil spirits. one of the first ones they deal with is greed, who they mostly exorcise, but he manages to just barely survive, dimple style. he's looking for ways to bring himself back up to full power

enter: ling yao, recently awakened psychic who is also looking for ways to become more powerful. he keeps over-exerting his psychic powers and exhausting himself, which is how the elrics come across him mostly unconscious. he's very excited to meet another esper, but he makes the mistake of asking why al doesn't possess ed, since he knows that can enhance someone's psychic powers. the elrics are both Very Sensitive about that kind of topic and tell him to fuck Right Off

bad idea, because then he goes and finds a spirit of his own. both he and greed approach their mutually beneficial consensual possession situation for self-serving reasons. both of them look at each other and think "yeah I can definitely manipulate this guy into making me more powerful" [fast forward a couple months to when they've become Extremely attached to each other] oopsies

lan fan is a telepath. ling did not know this, so he tried to act soooo normal about being possessed around her. that didn't work for long, jackass! she got so fucking angry with him when she heard a literal devil on his shoulder, and even though ling stopped her from destroying greed, that evil spirit is on THIN ICE.

scar's family was killed in a psychic terrorist incident (think kimblee if he was part of claw). he's one of those really late bloomer espers -- it wasn't until this traumatic event that his psychic powers awoke, and he hates them because of the link to the event. now he's on his vengeance based quest, going after psychics that abuse their powers

things I'm still working out the details for

mustang was involved in some high profile fuck-up. kind of like separation arc reigen except uhhh people Died. hughes was likely one of those people. no one has enough proof to outright prove he did it, but he is definitely linked to the event, especially because he was a pretty public psychic figure at the time. in reality, it was the fault of the sins, but it's harder to find evidence when it was evil spirits doing it

olivier + the rest of briggs are an anti-psychic terrorism government agency (kinda like joseph) and initially scar is one of their targets, but they end up recruiting him bc they have a common goal

eventually scar starts working at spirits and such (olivier's assignment so he can keep an eye on mustang) but he fucking hates it. oh my god I cannot emphasize how much he hates it. imagine reigen serizawa and mob at spirits and such except none of them can stand each other. that's mustang, scar, and ed having to work together.

mei is also a psychic! she kind of latches onto both scar and alphonse (separately) because she needs some help killing someone. they have very different reactions to this.

the someone she's trying to kill is father, a super powerful psychic who's been orchestrating much of the psychic terrorism, as well as directing the sins. he's like if toichiro had a specialty for spirit wrangling like matsuo

miscellaneous au details

ed and al's auras (and al's spirit form) are mostly gold, ed's leaning more coppery and al's more of a green-gold. ed's kind of has the look of fire crackling around him. ling's aura is a blend of red and purple and has a kind of watercolor/bruise look. it's more vibrant and has more purple when greed is possessing him. mei's is mostly pink with some red.

mob psycho spirits range from completely abstract to mostly humanoid and frequently have multiple forms in between. hughes looks mostly humanoid most of the time, but can go simplified and silly when gushing about his family. al has a more powerful form that looks like the full suit of armor but he doesn't like using it very often, so most of the time he's a long blob that's just kind of armor shaped (like when the armor is simplified for silly moments). greed at full power looked like the ultimate shield, after being weakened he looks more like a dimple-like blob that resembles the face in ling's mindscape. when possessing ling and both of them are using their powers, ling gets lines on his face like on the ultimate shield (like dimple's cheek spots!)

other spirits: pride looks how you'd expect. horrible shadow spirit. envy bodysnatches a lot. wrath has been possessing a politician for Literal Decades. it's no good. I'm not sure about the other sins

people's feelings on possession range from the elrics (Fuck No), to hughes and mustang (if necessary to get a job done), to greedling (they like it like this actually)

the rockbells aren't psychics but they live kinda adjacent to the psychic world bc theyre family friends with the elrics + hohenheim, so they know more than most about psychic powers

#this ended up SO LONG. WHOOPSIE.#fma #fma mob psycho au #this is now my masterpost for this au #if more details get worked out then I'll edit it #but I thought it would be easier to have a post with all of it than having it scattered across dms and posts #speaking of dms tho. for me creating aus is a very collaborative process #so I would LOVE to hear input and ideas and stuff to mold this into the best it can be #especially since I have my favoritism and my blindspots #which means I've thought a lot about the elrics and greedling and scar #but less about like. the mustang gang #I've tried multiple times to write stuff for this and it's never quite come out like I want #bc I hold my aus to too high of a standard I think #I'm like ''my writing must be COHESIVE and tell a STORY that MAKES SENSE''#which then keeps me from writing things just for shits and giggles when it's for a big au like this #alas. I need to work on that.

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mega-ringsandthings-world · 1 year ago

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I'm back on my bullshit, and I'm about to make it everyone's problem! Sorry if everything's a bit scattered; I'm trying to get my thoughts in order, but I have so much stuff in my now overflowing brain folder. I'll have to sort it out later. Again take everything I say with a grain of salt I’m sure I will love your au wether I’ve got the right idea about it or not!

But oh my god! Your sketches are so good and clean—mwah, chef's kiss. And the sword before Yoru is peak "Hawk-boy has a type," and we all can see it. I wonder if he had it personally made to prepare to take on Yoru as a main blade later, if it existed at this time? Did he go through a catalog of specific special grade swords and go, "Mmm, yes, big blade!" and never look back? Sorry, off-topic, but he deserves a fancy, pretty blade, and those purple and pink jewels are very much like that for him and his vibe.

And huh, him showing Shanks kindness with the handkerchief! It's sweet, and Mihawk's already attached. Normally, Mihawk wouldn't have given Shanks the time of day until he could fight him, but adversity and the lack of autonomy have made him somewhat less controlled, or at least trying to gain some type of control, even if it's just making sure someone uses a handkerchief instead of their shirt. And Shanks, it kinda feels like Shanks already has a crush. He's emotionally defeated, devastated, and probably terrified, and here comes this guy, gruff and rude, but he doesn't ask about Roger, he doesn't want anything from Shanks, and he gives him something beautiful he made himself by hand, just so Shanks could wipe his tears and blow his nose. Fuck it all, I'd fall in love if someone did that for me.

They already feel so enmeshed; like the handkerchief sealed some type of pact with fate. Like the universe has turned and slotted these two together. And your wrote it so seemlessly! Shanks is vulnerable and unable to hide behind drinks, parties, and adventures. Mihawk is out of control, a big and main part of his character that later on becomes like a second skin. As much as he seems okay, this is pushing him into behavior that would likely be out of character if not under these circumstances. Gods, this is the type of character study I love! I will definitely be comparing and contrasting these two and their canon counterparts as they change, and the fic goes on. Tulips are probably about to become Shanks' favorite flower. And of course, Mihawk can embroider. He's a man of perfection and patience (ha, I can relate to that; never perfect indeed), and the delicate, slow needlework of embroidering sounds just right up his alley. Probably his form of meditation. I bet he does all the flowers on his shirts. I bet Shanks will tear his clothes in the future just so Mihawk will embroider flowers on them.

Now off to the boys for a second. Let's talk politics, specifically the revolutionaries. Are the revolutionaries going to be a big part of this fic? Because as you mentioned, the world government is about to commit an oopsie on the highest scale. Are some of those monsters going to be snatched up by Dragon and his revolution? Because this is about to radicalize a lot of people. A lot of powerful people. Hmmm, I wonder if he'll even be interested in what's happening to the pirates who got caught. He seems like a good and kind man, but a man who's willing to put the needs of the greater good over the needs of a few criminals. Pirates aren't exactly the good guys, so to speak, and if they were just headed for Impel Down, I don't think he'd do much for them. But I don't think that's where you're pulling this, and again, he is pragmatic and willing to mess up what the world government has planned. The oppressed, no matter their station or morals, are fellow oppressed, and I can see him looking into what the government's doing and maybe disrupting it to screw the government over. I don't know; just throwing thoughts out there.

But more importantly, in this AU, it seems that the Roger Pirates will be hunted even more than in canon, considering the Marines are on a mission to destroy piracy at the root, and a lot of would-be pirates they would have had to worry about just got snapped up! I don't think they'll be able to help Shanks even if they wanted to. And Garp, where's he in all this? On one hand, I can totally see him advocating for the eradication of the pirates and setting the trap. On the other hand, I'm not sure about him being so gung-ho about taking in Shanks and doing whatever the Marines plan to do with him. It might be a side plot for later, unless, once they get the prisoners, this all goes to Cipher Pol agents and out of the Marines' hands. Maybe this was their idea in the first place; it seems more up their alley than the Marines in general. Maybe a collaboration? Guess I’ll find out when I read.

But also, governments aren't good at mass arrests. How many civilians do you think got snapped up by accident?

Anyways, that's all I have for now. The art I promised should be posted tomorrow, hopefully; I just want to make a few adjustments. Should be all good. Also, do you have a playlist for this AU yet?

I'm pumped anytime I get your asks, hit away all you like! I love hashing this AU out like this. Most times you've hit it right on the head! I'm making it everyone's problem too. !! Glad you like them! Allow me to go on a moment, the 'before Yoru' sword is supposed to be modeled in appearances (jewels, handguard, inlaid blade) after a spanish or italian cusped falchion, and in utility, after the german kreigmesser. Based on appearances, they look closest to Yoru, and yeah, it's exactly 'Mihawk has a type.' He'd be the kind to find a design he likes and stick with it. Kreigmessers were military swords, used often by mercenaries, and used two-handed. Again, like Yoru. I think Mihawk would have obtained/made a sword suited to his fighting style, and that style does contain a lot of extended slashes. Yoru does exist, and I have a whole thing for how he will get it. Let's just say he becomes acquainted with it due to the marines. And yes. More pink and purple everything, actually. Those colors work for him so much. ^^ He's attached and he doesn't even know it himself. He thinks it's simply purely utilitarian, purely practical to make sure Shanks cleans up properly, but it's also to see what Shanks will do. If he'll refuse it, or be insulted, or double down, or turn his nose up at Mihawk's refinement. None of which Shanks does. And yes, also to retain control over the situation. If he has a handle on what is happening right beside him, it 'frees' him concentrate on the more severe aspects going on. Shanks does have a crush. Probably love from first handkerchief. Again, he doesn't know it yet either. Right now he's too steeped in grief, and he also would think Mihawk is out of his league. Still, Mihawk is his only sense of stability at the moment. Mihawk's indifference and stoic-ness is what will unwittingly keep Shanks sane, because at a time when he would have been drowning in despair, he instead is pressing back against Mihawk's opposite personality. And admiring his handkerchiefs. (A thing about the handkerchief, most sailors now how to sew, they have to. Shanks would know how to sew as well, which is why he isn't surprised at Mihawk making the handkerchief, but at it's prettiness. Shanks has never had the occasion to work beauty into the things he makes for himself. Also why he thinks a sweetheart made it for Mihawk) Just so! They don't have the mental armor of their older selves. They do not have the presence, the power, or the coping methods. They are not established. Mihawk is so young, nineteen is nothing, really, and the sympathy and care we only see bare glimpses of in his older self is not sealed away as it is then. At this age, he's haughty, but that is a projection of haughtiness as much as anything. Pitting older and younger against each other is so fun in that regard! Oh, that's for certain. Tulips become and remain his favorite flower. I embroider, and embroidering is relaxing, but requires focus, so perfect hobby for Mihawk. And he gets to use something sharp and pointy. His perfectionism is perhaps what leads to him taking up embroidering and even actual tailoring in the first place, he'd want total say over how he decorates/designs his things/clothes. And YES to Shanks deliberately making Mihawk have to mend his clothes. got to make a pt. 2

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aewrie · 1 year ago

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Skull and ❤️ for Hollow and Radi :3

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

hollow: outside situations where they have been instructed to fight, or where they could easily conclude that such is the expected course of action, they hold back, both physically and emotionally. a lot. they will stand down until a confrontation is unavoidable, and stay on defensive unless absolutely necessary. but when they snap boy do they snap. similarly, you do not want to get in their way when they have been given the go-ahead by someone else. post-sealing, good luck trying to determine whether they are actually being mellow or simply burying the urge to disembowel whoever is pissing them off.

radiance: she does not like physical violence/confrontations. she will absolutely resort to that if she feels there is no other, or better, way to get around an issue, but she will avoid getting her hands dirty in that particular way if she can. (note: getting someone else to do her dirty work, including via puppeteering their body doesn't count, because technically it is that someone else getting their hands dirty. she loves her technicalities.) she much prefers persuasion, and is willing to push that quite far. on that vein, if she loses her cool and gets obviously angry, you know something really got under her skin, and/or she is desperate.

and the double hearts for u, under a cut because oopsie that got long. buckle up

♥ - family headcanon

hollow: they have a hard time with the idea of a family. in an abstract sense, they know what it means, but in practice, it is scary territory to consider.

when they get around to admitting to themself what the pale king and while lady are to them, terms with minimal emotional associations, like sire in place of father, are easier to digest. the other vessels they always considered their siblings, but it is not a family in the same sense as common bugs think of it. it is far too strange.

hornet is easiest to consider family in the usual sense, even if early on only in quiet corners of their mind buried deep down, and later on being something they have to relearn together.

radiance: she is the older one between grimm and her, at least, in terms of when they developed an awareness and a sense of self, and became individuals rather than just ideas. they consider each other siblings, but under different circumstances, that could have been different.

grimm made his first proper appearance after radiance created the moths, and at first, she thought she might like the company. she saw a fledgling god who was in some ways similar to her, but still figuring himself out, and felt a sense of responsibility, in a way not too dissimilar to the way she felt a sense of responsibility to her moths; they were her precious things. she feared a reality without their admiration and dedication to her, and needed to cultivate that. they were lost in this world when they were new and she would guide them. she had never met a new god, and this one showed up at her domain of all places.

problem is, this was in fact a god, and not another follower for her to add to her collection of devotees, or someone she could keep under her thumb.

when grimm showed even passing interest toward her moths, she got annoyed. those were hers. she did not want to share them with this newcomer she was previously happy to tolerate, happy to have around even, and around then was when grimm first joked that she is like an older sibling who does not want to share her toys.

(she did not like that comparison, largely because she knew it was true - not that she would openly admit it. but when grimm left the moths be, she was content enough to let it slide.)

but when he started outwardly showing signs of having command over the parts of the dream realm she hadn't really claimed, things got strained really fast. radiance did not just not want to share her toys, she did not want to share her entire playground.

she did consider him a brother, and throughout that initial feeling attachment remained and developed. but she felt threatened by him having any power over something that she thought hers, even is she never wanted it. she was bitter when he became, or rather, turned out to be something other than she had hoped.

♡ - romantic headcanon

hollow: they get very insecure and bashful about being seen as wanting affection of any kind, let alone romantic. to boot, they aren't even sure what they want, and have a hard time knowing when their feelings are romantic or something else.

just the thought of love, because it was something forbidden and 'unnecessary', gets them easily emotionally compromised. they don't know what to do with an open show of affection toward them, and will quickly disregard it as undeserved or the like, because that is easier than actually dealing with the emotions. post-canon & a lot of healing later it gets better, but they still are uncertain at times.

radiance: girl does not know know how to have a healthy relationship, and would need a lot of self-reflection and work before she could deliver something other than at-best-dysfunctional. she gets jealous and insecure, and needs near-constant attention and validation to be satisfied and feel secure in a relationship.

even at her best, she is easily a lot to handle, and she often doesn't realize that. someone equally strong-willed and brash would have an easier time handling her ups and downs, but chances are she would not be pleased being the one getting handled. she can be a lot less intense if it is someone else that approaches her first, because if these is something she likes it's gaining someone's attention and admiration without having to go out of her way to get it, but when she knows what she wants, godspeed.

#ty! ♥#asks #elleseviltwin #headcanons #hk #a fire sets alight #particularly the radi&grimm family tidbits

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rawmeknockout · 1 year ago

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OPTIMUS WITH THE CLOTHES FUCKING??? hahaha oopsies I left one of my shirts/ dresses on the floor sure hope someone doesn't "borrow" it heehee😋😋

if theyre a big human fucker you know theyve got a weird attachment to your human things

#asks

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wally-franks · 2 years ago

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i hc that u have overflowing levels of swag and every time you post any type of art you shoukd be handed 100 dollars from the government directly. as compensation for the stinkies on twatter

i would also love to hear ur hcs for sammy and wally again bcos ur hcs are always so silly and fun. i love them sm

QOWAUA YOU'RE TO SWEETEST BUNNI 😭😭😭🥹🥹 SJAJAHH. Luckily twitter has been a bit better to deal with :) I just block whenever people are being a bit too annoying for my own tastes so I got that covered thihi

And omg, you're asking at such a good time!!! JDSHEH.. I was actually writing down some hcs yesterday because I was feeling so silly and happy!! (also me: wrote down mainly sad hcs OOPSIE HAHA) mainly how Sammy and wally are at home!!!! :33 more under the cut (also you're obligated to share some or your hcs aswell!! I wanna hear more about your wally and Thomas and maybee Sammy too so badlyyy!!!!)

At home they're a bit more different than work of course.. since Sammy can let down his guard there.. He doesn't do much than compose and read books. But that's fine. Now that wally is there, he can help Sammy to keep up with himself. also, silly funfact.. As some may know, my Sammy has cats.

Though, he had to give them away to his mother since he just couldn't take care of them himself anymore. Buttt when wally moves in they take the cats back :3!!.. Wally doesn't mind doing most of the work. He's used to it from his farmer childhood with 11 sisters..

Anyhow. Sammy is the kind of person to wait for wally before he goes to sleep. He doesn't like sleeping alone. He likes the comfort of having someone around. Again, he never shows his appreciatiom but he really appreciates it.

Also the reason you never see him smile is because.. He's just always thinking. "How did I deserve someone like that? do I even deserve that? He's probably gonna get tired of me soon. enough, don't get yourself too attached now." There's just so much fear and doubt in his heart

Nighttime is generally the time where Sammy tends to think the most about stuff. Even though he know he shouldn't, since he REALLY needs that rest. It even makes him cry sometimes. When wally notices, there's no word exchange. Just gestures, understanding and comfort :")

I always really liked to imagine that Sammy has Thanatophobia and probably barely gets any sleep because of it. It's one of the things Sammy thinks about a lot at night.. Wally is the opposite. He really doesn't care about death.

#wallybrabbles

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thegoldenshi-shi · 2 years ago

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I'm starting to think I was dreaming the last ask I sent... I swear, I vividly remember sending you an ask gushing about your art, how nice you are, and just rambling about what all has been going on in life, but man... /j

Also, sorry if it seems like I only send asks after tf art, I swear I love everything you do, but the transformers stuff is the only stuff I know anything about, so it's the only thing I really have confidence in blabbering about.

I did an oopsy and doordashed Timmy's to work today, so I got donuts and a breakfast bagel sandwhich to eat today. Good thing, too! I have been /HUNGRY/. We managed to ship out almost two hundred packages today, and that's with just three people who can pack, and one who can ship orders. I'm Super duper happy about it! Everything else has been absolutely crazy. I've decided to go through all my books in my closet, and the books on my shelves, and start bocing some in better shaped boxes, so I can donate them. Gonna end up checking with people I know if they want any first, though. Also gonna go through my stuffed animals, find ones that I'm not too attached to, and donate them too. After washing them first, of course.

I have also fallen into a hole of true crime podcasts, which I'm pretty surprised about. Cause, like. I don't like hearing about how bad people can be? I dislike people enough, I just. Don't wanna absolutely ruin my opinion on humans anymore. Like, I know there are good people out there, really really good people. But I also don't really like the vast majority of publicized humanity. You always hear about all the awful things... the worst of humanity shouts and screams their opinions, all the time. Broadcasts em to the world. And, it's difficult for the truly good people to be heard...

On a very much less heavy topic, my nephew is in town! I haven't seen him in about a year, so it's nice to see him. Even if small children make me super anxious and uncomfy. We're also looking at an August vacation, which I'll need to prep for cause I'm pale as a ghost and it'll be three days straight of being outdoors.

What've you been up to?

~Smooch

Hi there Smooch!

It's good to see you in my inbox again, I was starting to wonder how you were doing.

It sounds like you're having a good time of it, donuts for breakfast is a special treat hehe. And being busy at work is a good too, being productive is always a plus. It hasn't been that long since I went through my book collection, so I feel your pain there. Hoarding books (and drawing paper for some reason) is probably my one weakness in trying to keep my space tidy. I'm running out of shelves T_T

So far as your new interest in true crime podcasts, congratulations on finding a new source of enjoyment. If something intrigues you, I say don't let your preconceived notions about what you enjoy and don't enjoy. I must admit that I dislike podcasts myself, just because I can never focus on them, the same goes for audio books for some reason. But I do understand their appeal, and am always happy to hear someone is enjoying them. I hope you have fun on your vacation, I too am pale and require sunscreen if I go out without a good layer over my skin. Some of my friends have said I look like a vampire with my complexion and dark circles, which left me going "Thanks guys". I wish you no sunburn and good weather for your vacation!

As far as what I've been up to: I've been working on my webtoon, trying to figure out a schedule for making it that works, building up courage to actually post it and you know...actually get the financial stuff in place to start the business aspect of my art? hehe....

My main job has picked up for the season, so I'm switching gears and getting ready for less and less free time, and I'm trying to incorporate some classical music into my pianist job while bracing for spring-time "Special Music" rush.

Also, I don't mind that you only ask after my Transformers work. I don't expect anyone to enjoy every single thing I post, there are a thousand fandoms out there and it would be ignorant to expect everyone to know about all my interests.

#smooch anon #always nice to hear from you smooch~#I wrote so much I had to put it under the cut #that may be a first for me #I allowed myself two gifs as a treat #shishispeaks

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skybristle · 2 years ago

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☀️🪐⛏️🎨 Apple Crumble :3

☀️he is friends with latte :] she is his partner's girlfriend after all . i think he gets along Really well with all of the professors while he was alive . hes just a silly guy

🪐hmmm. idk actually nothing's coming to mind. he sure is a Fucking but his character is p laid out

⛏️hes fuckign vibing . tell him something shiny is involved and he's ON IT. he's a decently strong guy with good endurance he can handle it. if he doesnt get distracted by something HLSJLDSKJFDS

🎨i needed to kill someone off for sundaes story and then got really attached to him . oopsies.

#sky answers #sky rambles #cookie run oc #ask game

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macro-microcosm · 2 years ago

Text

Description/transcription under a read more because there are so many images and I transcribed the entire reddit post.

For my two cents, I think this is all just a scam at best and at worst a bid for personal information. I don't think that there are any actual products being sold here, just oblique jokes meant to mock the trans community and attempts at preying on the vulnerable.

As for the aforementioned TERF, well, the identity of the owner was traced to a Neo-Nazi. Oopsie poopsie.

[Image descriptions:

First image: A paid tweet from Twitter user QueerQuirk.com (@TheQueerQuirk). It reads: "We're officially the [plug emoji] to get HRT style pills without a doctor's note." Attached to the tweet is a link to estrolabs.com titled "I Can't Believe It's Not Estrogen | OTC alternative to estrogen pills."

Second image: A screen shot from the estrolabs website about the above-mentioned product. It reads: "And let's talk about the benefits! 'I Can't Believe It's Not Estrogen' is like your ver own magical, hormone-boosting fairy godmother. Whether you're hitting high notes in the voice pitch app, or casually perusing r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns while sneaking glances at your developing chest bumps, these estrogen-enhancing essentials are just the right spice to add to your transformation stew. So go ahead, mix it up, let 'I Can't Believe It's Not Estrogen' lead the cha-cha-cha of your life. After all, who needs a fairy godmother when you've got Ashwagandha by your side?"

Third image: A screen shot from the estrolabs website of the shop entry for a product called "Femboy Tummy Pills," costing $44.95 USD. The image of the product depicts a white bottle with a pink label with a purple-haired anime character on it with purple eyes, a yellow crescent moon clip, and black sweats, holding up the black crop-top-style sweater to show their flat stomach. The estrolabs logo above the character nearly runs off of the top of the label. Bold white text over the character reads "femboy tummy pills." Further text reads "with MCT." The image resolution is too low to read the remaining text on the label. There are 3 large white capsules in front of the bottle.

Third and fourth images: Screenshots of part of a reddit post. It reads:

"This website is selling a product they call 'I can't believe it's not estrogen' and the marketing is clearly such that it is targeted at transgender women who do not have access to hormone therapy. There are testimonials claiming how well it works and all kinds of other nonsense.

Ashwaghanda as a natural root/drug raises your normal levels of LH. Luteinizing hormone acts on whatever gonads you have to increase their output.

As a result, a pre-HRT transgender woman taking the supplement would literally produce more testosterone on it than they would normally produce, inducing the literal opposite effects of what is advertised.

This has been sent to me now by both a friend and a patient asking if it was a good idea for them to take to help with their transition. It is not, not only is it terrible for an MTF that's pre-HRT, it's just a flat-out evil and cruel thing to do.

Normally I don't make warnings on stuff like this but this is trending on Twitter right now and I want to make sure that nobody that comes here is ever fooled by some nonsense like this. Please be very careful when it comes to taking supplements that can alter your hormones.

This post they have made, it's been viewed over a million times. I shudder to think how many people who don't have access to gender affirming therapy or who have lost it in states like Florida will be fooled by this and end up making their situation even worse so that someone else can profit off of their suffering.

Supplements that claim that they will boost your estrogen often do the exact inverse effect if you are an MTF because the way that they function is to increase the output of gonads. So for cisgender women, yes, that is exactly what it will do. But if you have testicles, it's just going to make you make more testosterone.

Link to their Twitter post: {link.}

Edit: finally Twitter is starting to show some evidence that this would do the exact opposite of what it's claiming to do."

Fifth image: A presumably AI-generated image of a black person. Their hair is in long pink, red and purple dreads, they are wearing a floral button-up shirt under a pink-and-black plaid jacket and a silver necklace. They are wearing dark lipstick. One of their eyes has pink and purple eye shadow with a thinner brow and eye shape than their other, unmade eye. Their shirt merges in a fleshy-and-floral-colored blur into a black, geometric tattoo on their neck that appears to read "EAIUE."

End descriptions.]

This site has been going around Twitter trans accounts quite a bit lately, so just pointing out here too that it'll do fuck all, they're exploiting trans people at a time when hrt is particularly hard to access and please don't give them your money

#reblog #ablednt #bread-making-vikings #nophicastits #transphobia #had to whip out the PC for this one #tweet owner hid the original tweet so that link probably won't work for most of you #but I'm sure it's archived somewhere #and like obvi there's the screenshot #stay safe out there everyone #image description

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