#oops i broke the formatting

[cevansbrat0007]

I saw this and thought of Ari and his Bird right away 😂 Now how would he react? 😌

Dinner is Served...

Summary: You surprise Ari with his favorite meal: You.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Implied Smut, An Appearance from Bucky Barnes, Ari Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, Brief Discussions of Body Image, High Heels, Naked Fun in the Kitchen, Manhandling, Clothed Male Nude Female (CMNF), Pussy Eating, Very Mild Chase Kink, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: I think someone actually asked me this a while ago. Maybe. I vaguely remember my answer. However, instead of rehashing that, this is how I think that would go - with a twist! Part of my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

“I sent you the files this morning, Buck.” Ari winces as he shoulders his way into your house from the garage. “It’s not my fault you don’t know how to open ‘em.”

“Just resend them in a different format.” His friend and business partner responds, sounding frustrated. 

“Why don’t you just give-in and ask Pixie to help you already?”

“Because she’s been giving me the silent treatment since Tuesday. Why would I want to risk breaking the streak?” 

Rolling his eyes, he drops his bag by the door – only to be surprised when he spots a pair of your panties laying innocently on the floor. Upon closer inspection, he realizes that it’s actually one of his favorites. It was part of a set he’d bought you just last month. 

“What’d you do, Barnes?”

“Uh…” A heavy sigh can be heard coming from the other side of the phone. “I accidentally broke her fancy little coffee maker.”

“Wow.” He responds, disapproval evident in his tone.  

“Hey! I just said it was an accident. She said she had a bad night and so I tried to make her one of those latte…macchiato…things she likes. And then I broke it.”   

“Make it right, Buck.” After toeing off his boots Ari begins making his way towards the kitchen, following the sound of music in the air. He frowns when he spies your blouse in the middle of the hallway. Closely followed by a pair of black leggings. 

“How?” God, his buddy could be so goddamned obtuse sometimes.

“Fucking apologize. And then buy her another one – a better one.” 

“Ugh!” The former soldier whines. “I wouldn’t even know where to start looking for a replacement. How about I–?”

Wait. WAIT. Was that your bra? Just what the fuck was up with this strange trail of clothes?

“Buck, you’re a grown man. And google is your friend.” Ari snaps as he picks up your fallen undergarment, his confusion growing with each passing second. “Restore peace to the land before that woman feels compelled to drop a nuke.” With that he ends the call, now ready to solve whatever mystery he’s just stumbled upon. 

But what it’s he sees when he rounds the corner that has him stopping dead in his tracks.

“Well, shit.” His mouth goes dry as he watches your hips sway to the music pumping out of the speaker. 

A low whistle of appreciation has you glancing over your shoulder. 

If you were being honest, you’d known he was home the moment you’d heard your garage door open. Which was also why your bathrobe was now hastily balled up in your pantry. 

“Welcome home!” You chirp, not missing the way your man’s eyes darken as they drink you in. “Did you have a good day?”

“What’s all this?” Ari’s already deep voice dips an octave as he holds up your previously abandoned bra, dangling it from his finger. But you know he’s not mad. This question is coming from a man who clearly likes what he sees.

Which just so happens to be you. Happily cooking in your kitchen. Wearing nothing but a little makeup and a pair of red heels. Oh, and oven mitts. Can’t forget those.

You’d come across this scenario while aimlessly scrolling on Instagram. And since you were growing more comfortable with the body you saw in the mirror these days, you figured that it might be worth trying your luck. If only to see your man’s reaction.

“Oops!” You gasp, trying your best to look apologetic. “I just haven’t had a chance to clean up yet. I’m sorry.”

“Baby…” Ari drags a stunned hand over his jaw. “That’s not even – ah fuck. Cleanin’ up is the absolute last thing on my mind right now.” Dropping the undergarment on a nearby table, he begins making his way to you – only to come up short once again when he catches sight of your heels. 

“What? I’m just tryin’ to break ‘em in. That’s all.”

“Fuck meee.” He groans under his breath, his eyes going wide at the sight of your latest surprise. 

“Hold that thought, sugar.” With a wink, you turn back towards the stove before bending over to retrieve tonight’s dessert from the oven. You’re forced to bite the inside of your cheek when you hear your bounty hunter’s sudden intake of breath at the sight of your bare ass. 

“There we go.” You hum, playfully fanning yourself with a checkered mitt. “Hope you like homemade cinnamon rolls with whipped cream cheese frosting." Tendrils of feminine pride unfurls in your belly when you notice Ari’s impressive hard-on tenting his jeans. "They’re the perfect after-dinner treat.”

“That’s–I’m not…” He cuts himself off, surprising you both with his inability to speak. “We–that ain’t the kinda treat I’m hungry for, little Bird.”

“Hm.” You nod as you stretch your arms above your head. Giving into temptation, you rise up on your toes before giving a little shimmy, calling attention to your breasts. “No problem. What’s the point of talkin’ about dessert when we haven’t even discussed the main course?”

“Huh?” Ari clears his throat, his rapt gaze now focused on your pouting nipples. 

“Tonight we’re having roasted potatoes –” 

“I don’t give a good-damn about no roasted potatoes, woman!” The bounty hunter rumbles, cutting you off before you can finish telling him your menu. “You don’t need to cook nothin’ else. I already know what I’m hungry for.” He takes a decisive step in your direction. “It’s just a matter of where I’m eatin’.”

“But you don’t even know what we’re havin’ yet!” Comes your incredulous laugh as you bat away his eager hands. 

“This right here.” He growls, broadly gesturing at your naked body. “All of this. That’s what I want.” Without warning, he grabs the edge of his t-shirt with both hands before yanking it over his head, revealing his muscled chest. “I'm fuckin' starvin'.”

“But I’m not on the menu!” You shriek, throwing a dish towel at him the next time he gets too close. The next thing you know, this man is now chasing you around your own kitchen, his long legs quickly eating up the space between you. 

Fuck it was hard to run in heels! 

“Now I don’t mind where I dine, darlin’.” Your man purrs, his already sexy voice pitched to arouse. “We can take it to the bedroom. The living room…”

“Beast!” You burst into a fit of giggles as you attempt to fend him off with the help of a chair. “Need I remind you that we are in the kitchen?”

Now that makes him pause. But only for a second. 

“It ain’t the first time I’ve had you in here.” The chair you’ve been holding is gently ripped from your grasp. “Pretty sure I’ve devoured that pussy in every room of this house.” You watch in defeat as he sends your last little bit of protection skidding across the floor. “Did you forget how wet you got the last time I splayed you out on this-here table? Because I haven’t.”

One rough, slightly calloused hand grips the back of your neck – drawing you closer. 

“Remember how I made you hold yourself open for me?” His lips ghost over yours – the sharp nip of his teeth causing your heart to beat erratically in your chest. “Remember the way your thighs shook every time you gushed around me?” He moans softly, the erotic sound going straight to your dripping cunt. 

“I–If you don’t want the potatoes, we’re also having…um…” You can’t help but whimper when he abandons your throat in favor of grabbing a hearty handful of your ass. “Herb roasted chicken…”

“I get so hard whenever I think about the way you drenched my fuckin’ beard, baby.” Ari gives you a playful squeeze before lifting you by your hips and depositing you on the table as if you weigh nothing. “My good girl always makes such a mess for me. Don’t you?” 

“Could I perhaps interest you in some honey glazed carrots?” However, your weak attempt at redirection is completely ignored.

A heady thrum of excitement courses through you when you feel your back connect with the cool, wooden surface. And then Ari’s hands come to rest on your knees, gently prying them apart, baring your most intimate flesh. 

“Look at you.” He rasps, tenderly stroking your slick folds. “Fuckin’ soaked already. And here we are just gettin’ started.” He parts you with thick fingers before leaning down to press a kiss to your puffy clit, making your hips buck. 

“Yeah,” he continues. “This is the only honey I give a fuck about tonight.” Gripping your ankle, he drapes your leg over one broad shoulder, opening you up to him even more. And then he reaches for the remote to your speaker, turning up the volume of the music that had since become little better than background noise. 

“Don’t want any interruptions while I enjoy my meal. Especially since you spent so much time preparin’ it.” Ari drags your body towards the edge of the table before taking a seat in a chair and placing a napkin across his lap. “And don’t worry about me needing any silverware, sweet Bird…” He murmurs as his mouth descends upon your vulnerable, quivering pussy.

“I don't mind gettin' my hands dirty.”

END

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[ken-jaku]

happy valentine. zayne from love and deepspace

content warnings. smut, fem!reader, use of drugs (aphrodisiacs in choco-covered strawberries ), evol malfunctions, zayne's got a huge dick, inspired by mr. & mrs. smith, fucking you full nelson, cervix-hitting but realistic? aka it hurts like a bitch (might do a fantasy one next time idk), reverse cowgirl, riding, creampie oops, mentions of impregnating (could be just be a kink, up to interpretation), erm.. mentions of sharing wine.. via the mouth.. in a lewd way

word count. 1.3k (done in a timestamp format)

8:00PM

the two of you found solace in italy, going there for vacations whenever zayne was granted his leave of absence.

with his money saved and ready to spend on you, he bought a secluded house surrounded by a lake and mountainous terrain. it was perfect, especially for a guy like zayne who wasn't entirely a fan of pda but liked the idea of it.

zayne catches you outside, lying on an armchair, drinking your wine as you watch the sun disappear into the freshwater body. your skin looked oh, so radiant as golden hour did its job. sun-kissed skin, plump lips sipping your wine and your eyes appeared lighter than usual thanks to the beaming light.

"started without me, i see? did you bring them?" you smile, craning your neck to look at the tall man behind you.

"mhm!" you pull out a box of chocolate-covered strawberries, taking a bite of one before handing the rest over to your boyfriend. taking them, he takes a seat in the chair beside you.

8:25PM

"c'mere," zayne's words came out in pants, his face damp with sweat while you were practically drowning in your own. the aphrodisiacs were finally kicking in.

smiling, you take a sip of your wine before leaning over to kiss him. zayne wastes no time in prodding your mouth with his tongue, the kiss getting sloppy unusually fast as you two share the small drops of wine between you.

you break the kiss to put down your glass of wine, turning your face away from his for just a moment. as you're about to turn back, you find zayne standing right in front of you, impatience riddling his core. he bends over, his hand grabbing your neck as his lips find yours again.

just as he's about to lift your shirt, a loud firework startles the both of you.

"oh, fuck-" you almost shout before laughing. the startled look on zayne's makes you swoon- his eyes wide as his mouth parts just slightly. he's just so cute! the man can only rest his head on your chest in a sulky manner as he tries to calm his heart. you had honestly scared him more than the fireworks did.

his sneaky hands still find their way under your shirt and on your tits in an attempt to save the mood- as well as for his own pleasure... and comfort.

but you just can't hold in your laugh as you replay the image of zayne almost shitting himself, "i'm so-sorry." you snicker. zayne sighs, his eyebrows furrowed as he looks at you. your hand over was your mouth, cheekbones struggling to stay down as you just couldn't resist smiling. god, were you gorgeous.

8:30PM

"hm- fuck!" the atmosphere was no longer light-hearted. the sound of skin on skin with the distant drums of music and laughter from the festival across the lake could be heard.

zayne had you in full nelson. his thick cock bullying its way up into your cunt at a delicious speed. his cheeks were flushed red, lips bleeding as he broke the skin from biting it too much- too focused on pleasuring you. he also hopes that pounding you is enough for you to forget about the scare earlier.

the aphrodisiac fucking with your bodies gave you two an increased sense of pleasure, senses heightening as all he could think about was your pussy wrapped around his cock.

"fuck, you feel so good." he grunts. all you can do is helplessly moan as you look down at the sight before you. his cock was angled so right but zayne, not thinking straight, attempts to bottom out inside of you. he successfully does it... at your expense. holding you tighter, he pounds you, rapidly hitting your cervix a numerous amounts of time.

the pain makes you jolt as you hiss, tears welling, "zayne! fuck, it hurts! stop!"

zayne, himself, is startled. stopping his movements, he tends to you.

"are...are you alright?"

"fuck, zayne that really hurt. you know not to go that deep!" you pout, his dick still in you, deliciously filling you to the brim and deliciously filing your brain with him, your teary eyes severely dilated. he's not gonna lie, you saying that, especially with that face, made his dick twitch.

"fuck-baby. i'm sorry," he pants, "do you want to stop?"

"i wanna continue... just don't do it again," you mumble, a slight ache running through your body as you begin to ride his cock, your back facing him. moans start to build up again as the two of you continue to chase that high.

"hmm- d-does it feel good?" the sentence sounds borderline pornographic when you say it, chasing his validation. your thighs shake as zayne grabs your tits to squeeze, teeth biting at your collarbone as he lets you use him.

"mhm, so good, pretty girl. so good." he whispers even more praises by your ear, stumbling over most of his words considering he can't seem to keep a single notion in his head. the way you have him wrapped around your finger makes you smile and you lift yourself off of your lover to turn around and face him. you just had to see that pretty face before you came. sinking yourself back down on his cock, you speed up, the constant praises were doing wonders for your ego.

"mmphf- you're so pretty zayne. so pretty," you smile deliriously, " 'n i'm so happy i get to be with you-fuck!" your head finds its way to zayne's neck. diving nose first, you snuggle into him while his arms find their way around your waist, hugging you tight as he basks in the proximity.

"shit. are you close?" your thighs were beginning to burn but the way his burly cock jabbed at your spot, you couldn't let up- not when your orgasm was closely approaching.

zayne can only nod as his eyes roll back into his head. you were fucking him dumb. cunt clamping around his dick so deliciously.

"gonna-cum." your boyfriend chokes out, his hand reaching for your waist to lift you off him but you don't budge. shaking your head, you babble some words coherently while the others make no sense at all, "cum inside me. gimmeababy, please, fuck a baby up into me."

wasting no time, zayne attempts to meet your thrusts just enough so it doesn't hurt you again and instead coaxes both your highs with the utmost pleasure, his hands gripping your waist roughly.

"zayne, i'm cum-ming!" you cry out, nails digging into his collarbones and he follows right after you, spurting load after load inside of you, a whiny moan leaving him in the process as his evol malfunctions- frost covering his palm and your waist, specifically where his nails dug into. finally coming to your senses, blinking slowly, you feel the wet coldness, your body shivering despite the warm temperatures. looking down, you spot the transparent crystals sticking you to your boyfriend.

"zayne?" you whisper as you shudder. he hums, looking at you before he spots the crystals in the corner of his eyes. he stares at it, blinking once. twice. jolting up, he accidentally bucks his hips up into you, causing you both to hiss at the overstim, as he realizes what he was looking at was, in fact, real.

"shit, i'm sorry. you okay?" you nod, curiously poking at the crystals.

zayne closes his eyes in an attempt to relax, allowing the crystals to shrink in size before ultimately disappearing. he kisses your cheek, murmuring apologies as he runs his hand alongside your cold waist.

"you don't have to apologize... it's not you'll give me frostbite." you joke though zayne doesn't take it lightly, humming in response.

"happy valentines day, my love." zayne kisses your hand, his thumb rubbing it softly.

"mmm, happy valentines." you say drowsily, rubbing your cheek against his chest.

the two of you sit there, basking in the afterglow and silence as you watch the fireworks in the sky, cuddled up against each other.

with his cock still stuffing you full, of course!

note. dis shit late asl especially considering i wrote this so long ago, so sawry y'all! also the "fuck, zayne that really hurt." section kinda gave me ideas but i shan't speak on them. oh lawdy!

[callsign-rogueone]

what was I made for? - g.t.

Garrick Tavis x Marked!Pacifist!Reader (continuation of keep her safe) The aftermath of War Games has you questioning your purpose, and what your signet truly is. wc: 4.4k 🏷: FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME SPOILERS (I have 50 pages left, but I just can’t do it. send help.) canon-level violence, injury, canon character death, self doubt, anxiety. oops, I made Dain tolerable again. angst, then happy, then more angst. I also skipped over a smut scene / just made a reference to it happening, so if anyone wants that as a separate post, lmk and I can make it happen 👀 thank you to everyone who liked/reblogged/commented on part 1! it means a lot to me 🫶

Riorson House is more your home than Basgiath ever has been, but it’s become foreign to you in the three years you’d spent at the college. It feels like you’re hallucinating as you wander the halls.

Maybe everything that’s happened in the last few days has been a hallucination -- it wouldn't be the first time Varrish or Carr had pushed you to delirium with the amount of pain you’d taken for others.

Maybe it’s a dream. That’s it. A really bad dream. Any moment now, you’re going to wake up in Garrick’s bed and get ready for morning formation, and you’ll forget the sight of Liam dying by breakfast, when you’re sitting across from him at the table like you always do. Violet’s screams of pain will stop playing in your ears, replaced by her laughter at one of Ridoc’s jokes.

But no matter how much you pinch at your skin, you aren’t waking up. This is reality.

“I hear you’re a mender, too,” someone says in a gentle voice, bringing you out of your daze. Violet’s brother, Brennan.

“Does it ever get easier?” You ask quietly. “Does it always hurt this much?”

“Mending becomes easier. Seeing that kind of stuff every day doesn’t,” he replies, and the exhausted look on his face tells you he’s being honest. “But it shouldn’t hurt. Tell me more about that.”

“The second person I mended was a scribe who’d fallen from a ladder in the library and broken her leg. I did everything right, the bone set properly, but my leg hurt for a week, right where she’d broken hers.”

Brennan is silent, letting you continue.

“They broke Garrick’s arm in RSC. I was able to fix it for him, and I took the pain, but they broke it again two hours later. I mended him and Xaden over and over until I collapsed. I didn’t wake for two days. They both still think it was just exhausting for me. They don’t know about the pain.”

The tears are coming openly now, dripping down your cheeks, and you bring a hand up to wipe them away with the sleeve of your flight jacket. “But it isn’t all bad. I couldn’t save Liam, but I was able to make him more comfortable in the end. I took his pain away, and let him go in peace.”

You don’t tell him what death feels like. No description you could give could adequately prepare anyone for the cold sensation that still lingers in your chest. It will likely remain there for the next few days.

“Hey,” he says softly, “We’ll figure this out, I promise. For now, just try to get some rest.” 

You nod quietly, looking back up at him. “Can someone please tell Garrick that I’m okay?” You ask in a small voice, folding your hands in your lap. You’d been heartbroken to realize that the rest of the squad had left for Basgiath before you woke, leaving you here alone.

You didn’t get to say goodbye to any of them, and you don’t know when you’ll see them again. Or if you’ll see them, you think, but you push the thought away quickly. They’ll survive. They have to.

Brennan cracks a smile - everyone in the rebel cause is aware of how deeply Garrick loves you. “Of course.”

———————————————————————

“Cadet Mairi died alongside his dragon, who was attacked by a drift of Gryphon riders. Cadet Avan attempted to mend them, and died trying,” Xaden says levelly, staring down the group of professors on the dais. “They both died honorable, but preventable deaths.”

Garrick knows Xaden is lying, knows you aren’t dead — or you hadn’t been when they left for Basgiath, at least, but his friend’s words have him on edge. Have you woken up yet? 

Chradh speaks into his mind, sending a wave of hot rage through him. “Relax.”

“Relax?” He echoes, irate. “You’re telling me to relax right now, when-”

Chradh doesn’t bother to argue with him. “She is safe under the care of the silver one’s brother, where she will remain until the moment is right. It is better this way. She won’t be in pain anymore.”

Chradh doesn’t elaborate further. Fucking dragons and their constant need to speak in riddles.

The rest of the quadrant spends the night drinking and congratulating themselves on surviving, but Garrick doesn’t touch a drop of alcohol. The three of you were supposed to do this together. It wouldn’t be right to celebrate without you.

———————————————————————

“We’re gonna start from square one, with something that can’t hurt you,” Brennan says, placing two halves of a cracked plate on the table in front of you.

It’s simple enough to make the pieces rise into the air, using the same magic required to make a pen write for you. You concentrate, willing the halves to fuse together. They touch, and you think you’ve done it, your heart leaping, only to fall as they crash back down to the table again, splitting into even more pieces.

Brennan touches one of the shards, and they glue themselves back together perfectly; no cracks, no trace of the plate ever having been broken. “That’s what I thought.”

“Let me keep trying,” you begin, heart pounding. Brennan can’t think you’re a failure, not this early.

“You could sit here with this plate all day and it wouldn’t change,” he says gently, confirming what you know deep down. “I don’t think you’re a mender. I think you’re something else entirely.”

You sit with the information for a moment.

“Signets take the form of our base need as a person,” he says. “We need to find out what that is for you.”

You already know. “I wake up every day grateful that Xaden bargained for our lives, but I have done too much harm in my time at Basgiath. The crown has done too much harm to Tyrrendor. All I’ve ever wished for is to fix that, to undo the pain.”

“To undo the pain, or to help move forward and grow?” He asks gently.

You aren’t sure.

———————————————————————

You go through your morning stretches, as always, focusing on your breath to distract from the pain in your side. 

“Your mate has returned.” Tab says, interrupting. “Thought you’d like to know.”

You bolt upright, running through the house toward the gates, bypassing Xaden to sprint straight toward Garrick.

He wraps you in a warm embrace, resting his chin on the top of your head. You still fit together like puzzle pieces, even after months apart.

“You’re alive,” you breathe. “Nobody would tell me anything, I was worried sick,”

“Of course I’m alive, angel. Had to come back to you.”

You trace the Lieutenant’s patch across his collarbone, memorizing the shape. It looks natural on him, like it’s always been there. It sounds good, too. Lieutenant Garrick Tavis.

“I need to tell you something,” you say quietly, “I haven’t been entirely honest with you about-“

Footsteps approach. “Sorry to break up the reunion,” Felix says, “but Avan, we need you.”

There’s something in his tone that has your heart pounding. Which of your friends is it going to be this time?

“Tell me later,” Garrick says. “Go. Do what you were made to do.”

You know he means well, but his words tie your stomach in a knot. What you were made to do. Were you truly made to endure the suffering of others?

———————————————————————

Every muscle in your body feels like it’s on fire as you slump into a chair, sitting down for the first time that day. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to get some sleep before you’re needed again.

“There you are. I didn’t see you in battle brief.” Garrick says, relieved.

“Haven’t been going,” you mumble. “They need me here. Bren’s teaching now, so s’ just me and one other mender.”

He realizes no healers had come with the riot from Basgiath. You likely haven’t left the infirmary since they’d arrived.

“Come to bed,” he coaxes softly. “You need sleep. You can't pour from an empty cup.”

Yes, you can. You have been for months.

He takes your hand, not giving you a choice. You lean into him as he leads you up the grand staircase to a room near Xaden’s. Your muscles protest every step, but you keep quiet.

You haven’t been in here for years, not since you’d left for Basgiath as candidates, but it’s exactly the same as you remember; dark drapery, bookshelves, a neat display of the knives that he hadn’t taken to school with him.

The sight has you in tears.

“Whoa, hey,” he says softly, pulling you closer, and you whimper in pain at the pressure against your ribs. He lets go immediately. “Angel, I’m sorry — are you hurt?”

You sob, the dam finally breaking and grief flooding out of you. You haven’t seen each other since that horrible day, you haven’t seen anyone from the squad you went with to Resson, haven’t had anyone to talk about it with, until now. 

You shake your head, tears dripping down your cheeks. “I couldn’t save Liam. I tried, I really did. All I could do was take his pain away.”

So Xaden had told Basgiath the truth, to some degree: you tried to fix Liam, and couldn’t. The boy’s death had hurt you badly enough that Xaden wouldn’t let you return to the school.

“There was nothing else you could do. Nobody could save him, not after Deigh…”

“I know that, but it wasn’t just him. Everyone I’ve ever… fixed, I’ve taken the pain from their body into mine, and I can’t get rid of it for days.”

Garrick’s heart breaks. So that’s what Chradh meant when he said you wouldn’t be in pain anymore if you left Basgiath. Those eight-hour days of mending infantry may as well have been torture for you. 

Torture. RSC. You’d healed his wounds, Xaden’s, Bodhi’s, Violet’s, time and time again without complaint, and he knew it took a lot out of you, but not that it hurt. “Angel, why didn’t you tell me? If I’d known…”

“I wanted to,” you sniffle, “I wanted to tell you a year ago when it started happening. I thought it was normal, that I was just weak, until Brennan told me that this doesn’t happen to him. He just gets tired, like everyone else does when they use their signets too much.”

You try to steady your breathing, but the pain in your not-broken ribs is too overwhelming. “I’ve spent hours practicing and I can’t even fix a broken plate. I’m not a mender. I don’t know what I am. Nobody does, not even the professors. Brennan thinks it’s getting better, but I don’t have it in me to tell him that it isn’t.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. He wants to pull you into an embrace, wants to stroke your hair and tell you it’ll be okay, but he doesn’t want to hurt you any more than he already has.

“S’ not your fault.” You sniff.

“But it’s not yours, either,” he reminds you gently. “You’re so strong, angel. You crossed the parapet, ran the gauntlet, you bonded a dragon, and you’ve endured everything else. Please don’t ever think for a second that you’re weak.”

He takes your hand in his, watching your face carefully, but you don’t wince at the touch. “We’ll talk to Brennan tomorrow, together. For now, I just want you to get some sleep, okay?”

You nod silently, having run out of tears.

“Attagirl.”

As you settle into bed next to him, freshly showered and wearing one of his warm sweaters, you swear the pain has dimmed.

———————————————————————

When Garrick takes you to see Brennan the next morning, he isn’t alone. Your professors are seated beside him, along with some of the Tyrrish elders.

Devera speaks first. “We owe you an apology, Cadet Avan. The faculty was unaware that Carr and Varrish were using your signet as a method of punishment, or that it pains you to use it.”

“And I owe you an apology,” you say quietly. “I should have come back after the War Games.”

“That was my decision,” Xaden says firmly, “and I stand by it. She was in no condition to return to the school, much less to graduate and be stationed at an outpost across the continent from her support system, while still feeling the coldness of Cadet Mairi’s death.”

How does he know that you could feel it? Had you told him in your delirium? Had Brennan told him? Had you even told Brennan? 

“Your friends have effectively plead your case, and we agree that you have satisfied all the requirements for graduation from the Rider’s Quadrant.” Emeterrio says. “Congratulations, Lieutenant.”

Garrick slips your flight jacket onto your shoulders, and you notice the Lieutenant insignia has already been sewn on, to match his. When did he…? 

You accept the handshake Devera offers you, still a little dazed, but there’s one more order of business to address.

“May I rejoin my old squad?” You ask the table of professors quietly. “They are family to me. I would like to ride with them again, and aid them however I can.”

They exchange hesitant looks, and your heart sinks. Do they not think you’re good enough?

“I don’t see why not,” Brennan says firmly enough for everyone else to agree — he outranks the professors with the years he’s been part of the movement.

You exhale in relief.

Garrick cheers. “The dream team is back, baby!” He pulls you into a gentle embrace, knowing you’re still in pain, but wanting to hold you close.

You laugh, not minding the ache in your ribs.

Xaden is unimpressed. “When have we ever once called ourselves the dream team?”

“We haven’t, but I’m starting now. It’ll stick. I’ll have it embroidered on your flight jacket, Xay.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Xaden replies, setting off a brotherly argument behind you.

You look to the leadership once more, bowing your head in respect. “Thank you. For everything.”

Devera gives you a warm smile. “I am glad to see you have found your place here, Lieutenant. Remember that your empathy is a gift, even in times of war.”

Empathy.

“Am I dismissed?” You ask.

“Yes, Lieutenants, you are all dismissed,” Emeterrio answers dryly, looking over your shoulder at Garrick and Xaden. The latter has the former in a playful headlock, messing up his hair. 

“Human boys,” Tab says, exasperated. You laugh in agreement, leaving them in the Assembly room to sort themselves out.

It’s easy enough to find who you’re looking for — he’s the only person sitting completely alone in the mess, a textbook open in front of him that he isn’t reading. He’s gazing into the distance, eyes unfocused, but he looks up when he realizes you’re standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, “about what I saw in Varrish’s office. I had no idea how much you all have endured. What we are taught in Navarre is only one side of the story, but you showed me the other.”

“I’m glad I could help change your mind.”

He reaches into the pocket of his flight jacket and extends a hand. Your protection rune sits in his palm, complete with a new leather cord. “A peace offering. I stole it back from Varrish, and Brennan mended it.”

You smile, taking it from him and slipping it back over your head. “You’re turning into quite the rule-breaker, Aetos. But thank you. It means a lot to me.”

You’re about to leave, but something compels you to impart a piece of advice. “I know how it feels when people don’t want to trust you because of your family history. It’ll take a while for some of them to warm up to you, but you can make it go a lot faster if you keep yourself out of trouble.”

———————————————————————

Your first flight back with your squad is supposed to be easy, a surveying flight with a small riot, just to check their perimeters, but you can’t seem to quell your anxiety as you take off.

“We will be fine, gentle one. We’re in strong company,” Tab reassures. He stays close to Chradh, knowing Garrick’s proximity will calm you. “How does it feel to be back?”

“Good. I’ve missed this.”

“You have always enjoyed being up this high,” he agrees. “Shall we review some of our basic maneuvers?”

“Sure.”  Maybe that will settle your nerves.

“Hold on.” Tab dips, practicing all the angles — banking right, left, up, down.

“Something is wrong,” you blurt, and Tab straightens his path immediately, falling back into the formation. Every nerve in your body pulses with a sensation you’ve never felt before, standing on end. “Something really bad is going to happen.”

You’re right.

“Wyvern,” Tab warns just as they come into your line of sight. They charge straight at the front of the riot, where Sgaeyl leads the pack. 

You’re outmatched, nearly two dozen of them and only ten of you. You’re going to die here. At least you’ll be with your best friends.

“That kind of thinking isn’t helpful!” Tab scolds, tightening the formation. 

One gets too close for comfort, spewing blue flame, and Chradh banks hard - too hard. You gasp in horror as Garrick is thrown from his seat down to the ground below.

“Dive!” You yell, and Tab follows without hesitation, making a near-vertical drop.

You’ve never been so grateful for the running landing they’d taught you last year. It had been excruciating to execute on top of the pain of unbroken bones, but it’s just manageable now after a few days off from the infirmary.

Clutching Failsafe for dear life, your only defense, you sprint toward Garrick’s limp body, ripping off your goggles.

His heart still beats, but multiple bones look broken, his breathing labored. Touching him is almost unbearable, which tells you he won’t last much longer if you don’t do something.

Deep breaths, like Brennan had taught you, to accept their pain as it entered your body, holding it before batting it away like a fly.

You still haven’t figured out how to make that work.

Hot tears roll down your cheeks, and you start to berate yourself; Why can’t you do this? Compose yourself. Garrick is going to die if you can’t pull it together. Garrick is going to die, just like Liam did, because you aren’t strong enough to fix a fucking plate.

Anger overcomes you for the first time since you’d watched your parents die six years ago. You scream, a sound like nothing you’ve ever heard before splitting the air. The pain dissipates almost instantly. For the first time in two years, your body isn’t aching, and you sob in relief.

Garrick bolts upright, gasping for breath as spring blooms across the snowy plain, trees with bare branches suddenly teeming with green leaves.

Tab roars in pride and the rest of the riot joins in, the cliffs shaking from the volume of their celebration. 

“Lifebringer!” He thunders into your mind. 

Your head snaps upward, and you realize that the ground is littered with motionless wyvern.

Garrick pulls you to your feet, brushing the tears from your cheeks. “Come on, angel,” he says, grinning, “we have a war to win.”

You’re still dazed as Tab brings you back to Riorson house, Garrick helping you dismount and leading you inside.

“We have a weapon,” Xaden says, actually smiling as he faces the assembly. “Something, someone, that can destroy wyvern in their tracks.”

Garrick keeps you glued to his side as Xaden tells the elders what happened, but it’s all in one ear, out the other.

You’re dismissed after a few minutes, heading back out to the mess, where your friends gather around one of the large tables in the library.

“Tab called me lifebringer,” you say, confused. “What is that?”

“I thought it was just folklore,” Violet says from a few rows down, scanning the shelves, and everyone turns to her, listening. “Lifebringers are said to influence healing and growth. In some cultures, they’ve been credited with ending famines by rejuvenating harvests, and saving the innocent from the grasp of Malek and his Death.”

“Wicked,” Ridoc appraises quietly.

“Aha.” Violet produces a thin volume, cracking it open to the right page. The illustration there looks uncannily like you.

“Only the purest of heart can be lifebringers, those who hold no malice toward their fellow man. The weapons they carry are sharp, but unused,” she reads aloud. “Garrick gave you Failsafe as just that — a failsafe. You never drew blood with it. You never hurt anyone except in challenges, when it was kill or be killed, and even then you held back.”

Bodhi speaks next. “With most signets, the stronger the wielder’s emotion, the more powerful the ability becomes. You feel empathy for the wounded, so you can fix them and ease their pain, but when you thought Garrick was going to die, that was another level of distress, and I guess it was enough to overcome the dark magic.” 

Garrick squeezes your shoulder in reassurance that he’s still very much alive beside you.

Violet closes the book, setting it down.

“I’m not in pain anymore,” you whisper, still dazed. You’ve almost forgotten what that feels like, having spent the last three years holding both your own and that of all your friends.

“You needed an outlet,” Xaden says. “Pain makes it harder to channel, and you were in pain 24/7, which is why the professors thought your signet was underdeveloped. Getting angry, and getting that energy out of your body allowed you to use the full extent of your power.”

“If I had known this earlier, do you think I could have…” you don’t finish the sentence. Everyone in this room knows how hard you’d tried to save Liam.

“Maybe,” Violet says quietly, “but that is not a path you want to go down. Trust me.”

———————————————————————

“Do you want to explain why the hallway was full of sunflowers when I went to bed last night?” Xaden asks slyly, dropping into a seat in front of you with a plate of eggs and bacon.

You burn with embarrassment.

Bodhi grins. “You see, cousin, when a man and a woman love each other very much, - ow, fuck!” He exclaims, rubbing the back of his head where Garrick had whacked him.

“At least they didn’t set the vale on fire,” another of your squadmates says, looking at Xaden and Violet pointedly. “You still owe me for putting that out, by the way.”

Your eyes widen as you connect the dots. “So all that dry lightning last year was you two…”

“Okay, changing the subject!” Brennan says loudly, not liking the way this conversation is headed. “We need to figure out how to use your signet without endangering Tavis’s life again.”

“Well, it sounds like they already found another way,” Ridoc says, grinning, but he squeaks out an apology as Garrick begins to rise from his chair.

You tug your boyfriend back into his seat by the sleeve, looking past him at Brennan. “I think I need to work a few days in the infirmary between flights,” you propose. “If I build up enough pain, I could probably-“

“NO,” the whole squad says at once, Tab included.

“Your healing is only to be used when absolutely necessary,” Xaden orders, and even though you’re on equal footing now, both newly-minted Lieutenants, you agree quietly without protest.

“See, that’s your problem,” Sloane says, and all eyes turn to her. “You defer to literally everyone. You’re an officer now. Act like it.”

“Pardon?” You ask, looking at her in disbelief.

“That’s exactly what she’s talking about,” Imogen cuts in. “Pardon? You can’t even discipline a first-year cadet. Do you really think any veteran rider will ever listen to what you have to say?”

“Enough,” you say firmly, your nails digging into the wood.

None of your friends intervene, not even Brennan. This has to be another nightmare. There’s no way they'd hang you out to dry like this. Right?

Sloane isn’t finished. “It’s a miracle you made it out of Basgiath alive. You’re too soft. If you won’t kill anyone, what are you going to do when it’s between your life or someone else’s? Their life or his?”

The mention of Garrick is your last straw. “That is enough from both of you, Cadets,” you reprimand. Thorny vines burst from the seams of the table, whipping out toward them, and they stagger back to avoid being cut.

You startle, your heart pounding against your ribs as you realize what you’ve done.

Sloane is the first to apologize. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean any of it. I just thought that provoking you might…” she doesn’t finish the sentence, looking down at the still-twitching vines covering the tabletop.

“We definitely took it too far,” Imogen adds, sounding genuinely remorseful. “That was a really fucked up thing for me to say. I’m sorry.”

Bodhi waves a hand, and the vines slither back into the table, as if they were never there. 

Your eyes widen at the blood on his cheeks — he’d been caught in the crossfire. You touch his face with a shaky hand, only brushing your fingertips across the skin, and the scratches disappear instantly, leaving no trace of the harm you’d done.

Somehow that makes you feel worse.

“Well,” Garrick says in his section-leader voice, “that was certainly informative, but none of you are to ever disrespect her like that again. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” both girls answer quietly, heads lowered in shame.

Your breathing has steadied enough to speak. “I understand why you did that, but I’m not going to tell you that it was okay, because it wasn’t.”

With that, you take your plate and leave. Nobody follows you.

———————————————————————

The balcony door slides open, soft footsteps approaching.

“I want to be alone, Gare,” you say quietly. 

“Not Garrick,” Xaden replies, settling down next to you on the stone floor, “and you may want to be alone right now, but you probably shouldn’t be.”

“I didn't mean to hurt anyone, Xay. You know that,” you whisper. You don’t move your gaze from the potted plant in front of you, as if you’re worried it will lash out at you — or him — if you turn away.

“I know, angel. I know.” He exhales deeply, a gentle cloud forming with the warmth of his breath. 

There’s a moment of quiet before he speaks again, just the sound of the cold wind over the valley and the distant footsteps of cadets running on the trail below. “Working through this is not going to be easy, but if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

You’ve come to hate that notion, everyone’s insistence that the pain you’ve been through has primed you for more pain, different pain. Why can’t it ever end?

[dont-f-with-moogles]

Hi 🤎

I would love to read the long version of all those fake fics if I'm being honest! But: 🦮 for Campfire please dear and lovely Terra 🤎

Campfire Rating: Mature Fandom: Attack on Titan Relationship: Levi Ackerman / Hange Zoe Additional tags: #OG levi squad  #canon universe   #friendships  #friends to lovers  #field trip  #camping  #campfires  #fluff  #romantic feelings  #romantic gestures  #romantic… dreams?  #sleep talking  #no  #smutty sleep talking ;)  #secret relationship  #but not for long #oops  #relationship reveal  #accidental public love confession  #Levi Ackerman is a mess #severe second hand embarrassment Word count: 860 words The clearing was ringed by trees, their great limbs reaching skywards. Spindly branches grew to sharpened points like gnarled fingers, each clutching a thin fabric of leaves which wove into a threadbare canopy overhead. Pale light filtered between them; early evening sky turned grey by the rising smoke from the campfire. Bird calls pierced the quiet rustle of wind. Then, in the distance, a chorus of chirps echoed in response. Amongst the murmurings and stirrings of nature, the flames crackled. 

Two squadrons of Survey Corps soldiers sat upon the fallen logs and leaf-strewn forest floor. The assembly had broken out into smaller groups, conversing intently as they suspended corn cobs over the flickering flames. The air was filled with the smell of roasted vegetables. Hange was terrifying Moblit with a report of Sawney’s cavities, following a dental examination they had personally carried out on the titan. Meanwhile, Oluo was outlining squad formations at painstaking length. Levi nodded as his squad member continued on and on and on… At first glance, it appeared as though the Captain was deep in thought. His eyes narrowed as though he was concentrating on visualising Oluo’s detailed descriptions.

...of course, it’s just my opinion that the Standby Squad should ride ahead of the Transport Squad,” Oluo drawled, “they are in the most protected position after all. Besides which, the Transport Squad carries our spare food, medical equipment, ODM gear…”

Levi’s eyelids fell shut as Oluo began to list off each item on his fingers. The Captain nodded again, his head falling to the side. Petra gasped as she felt his chin brush against her shoulder.

“Captain! Not here! I’m not read-”

It took her a moment to realise that he had not been consciously leaning towards her, but rather unconsciously. The young recruit froze, her shoulder bearing Levi’s head. Oluo stared at them before he gave a bitter sigh, dropping his hand upon his lap in disappointment.

“Well, that’s not what you want.” 

“Oh my god…” Mutterings broke out around the circle amidst the nudging of elbows. Petra sat upright, her shoulders stiffened, not wanting to budge an inch lest she disturb Levi. 

“Come on…” she tried in a placating tone, “we’ve had a long ride here. Let’s just let him sleep. I’ll be fine… as long as someone passes me some corn?” Petra was attempting to sound mildly amused - inconvenienced even - by the fact she was trapped, sitting on her heels and unable to turn her head. However, her face glowed in pleasure as her eyes continually drifted down to Levi’s face, resting so close to her own.

The conversation around the circle continued. Petra lifted her chin, her demeanour inflated as she sat eating and speaking with Eld. All the whilst she affected a casual lightness as though her senior officer was not huddled close to her, open and vulnerable in his slumber. Then, suddenly, Levi interrupted with a murmur.

Petra and Eld lapsed into silence, uncertain as to whether or not the Captain was stirring. He spoke again, only louder this time.

“Ah, Hange… take em off, baby… I don’t care if they’re small… wanna bury my face in them…..”

Petra’s corn on the cob rolled along the forest floor. All eyes were trained on Hange. The titan scientist feigned a perplexed expression as their eyes roved the tree tops.

“Did you guys hear something? Was that a lark? A great tit maybe…?”

“Sounds like Levi would know,” Eld cracked dryly, causing a ripple of laughter to break out amongst the recruits. The sound was followed swiftly by a nervous shushing as Levi raised his head, his eyes opening.

“… the hell are you all looking at?” he muttered. His glare immediately sought out Oluo. In his semi-conscious state, Levi tried to piece together the fragments of their earlier conversation. He remembered it had been something about squads and supplies…

“Well?” Levi growled.

“Sir… I… I was just suggesting an amendment to the riding formation,” Oluo answered anxiously, “not to say you don’t know breast - best!”

The swell of laughter bubbled up around the circle again. Hange fell to wiping their glasses on their yellow shirt, a deep flush creeping up the skin of their neck. Scowling, Levi climbed to his feet.

“If you’ve all got time to sit there snickering, then you’ve got time to help rebuild this fire.” 

He scrutinised the dying embers. Most of the Survey Corps members had eaten by now. All that remained of the fire was a large charred stump, still smouldering in the centre. All of the smaller branches had collapsed to ash inside the middle of the pile. Levi looked up and caught Hange’s eye.

“Oi, Hange. Wanna give me a hand?”

Nervous titters broke out amongst the younger recruits. A few shoulders were shaking. Eld was grinning down at his lap. Oluo’s jaw was set. Gunther had crammed his fist into his mouth, tears pricking in the corner of his eyes.

“With what?” Hange asked, astonished.

Levi regarded her severely.

“Getting wood.”

The whole group burst out into a chorus of whoops and raucous laughter, Oluo hiccoughing loudly as he bit his tongue. @youre-ackermine

[openphrase123]

excuse me for the wait on this one... anyway oops i just realized inutile broke 200k? who let that happen?

also inutile is shifting to an every-other-week upload format just because i'm busy!! so next update is going to be on the 3rd of feb

[dojunie]

MESSENGER; HRJ [PT 4: COFFEE VS TEA]

➥ PART 4 OF MESSENGER; a small smau about a stranger, a whole lot of animal pics, and a relationship you would never have expected to come from texting a random number written on a public bathroom mirror.

➥ WC: 1.7K

[PREVIOUS PART] [INFO/MASTERLIST] [NEXT PART]

a/n: first written bit! lets see if i like this formatting in an hour and if not pretend you dont see me changing shit around 💪

current tl: @matchahyuck @theboyz-jacob @hoeshi17 @neoteez01 @hibernatinghamster @luvvsnae @shwizhies @skynightgalaxy @ihrtnyu @kunvibing @liliansun @txpxwxk @is4b3ll3s @rxnexxi @rum-gone-why @she-is-dreaming

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THE LINE RINGS FOR ABOUT TWO ENTIRE SECONDS BEFORE EVERYTHING GOES VERY, VERY QUIET— And it’s only within that silence that you seem to realize that you might’ve just done something… weird.

Thoughtlessness was what had you pressing that call button (or maybe there was thought behind it; just the type that tired, sleep deprived, stupid people would have). Regret hits you like a brick when all your brain's neurons finally seem to reconnect. What the hell are you doing? You don’t know this guy! You don’t even know his name— not to mention that he doesn’t know yours! And somehow, before common sense caught up to you, you thought it was the logical next step to call him?

You’re stood in front of your desk with your headphones in your ears probably looking crazy as you stare at the screen, thoughts in sudden overdrive trying to figure out how to ‘Oops, butt dial!' your way out this— when it stops ringing.

Now connecting, Duck Boy.

“…Hello?”

Oh.

Your spine stiffens nearly upright at the sound of his voice. His... voice. Him. Duck Boy. Who once only existed in your mind as a selfie and a few bossy-yet-endearing texts, and now you’ve got a selfie, some texts, and a voice. 

Christ, why is your mind spinning like you’ve just unearthed some sort of incredible clue? It’s not like there’s anything stopping you from just asking him to meet up or something since this stupid mystery game is really only being perpetuated by you— but still, you find yourself overanalyzing the single word, the surprisingly low drawl of his tone (his voice is much, much deeper than you thought it would be), even the clarity of his speech and diction.

However. Again—and you can’t even blame the exhaustion for this because you feel wide awake now— you do something weird.

Too busy marveling over how he sounds, you completely forget to respond.

“Mystery girl…?” Duck Boy says again, startling you. “If you’re doing this to keep me awake, I’ve got to say— still kind of falling asleep over here.”

“M’was— Headphones,” you blurt. A lie. Your headphones have been in your ears for about two hours now as you worked on your architecture project, but he did not need to know that. “Was putting in my headphones. Hi.”

“…Hi.”

A shuffling on the line, like he's sitting up or shifting or something, and then he laughs a little bit in the ensuing silence. “You called me and broke your coveted mystique just to tell me hi?”

“No. I’m distracted. I'm... making tea. You don’t appreciate my hello?”

God. Three more lies. At least it’s not for long because this, plus the slight embarrassment washing under your skin, jumpstarts you into turning on your heel and darting into the kitchen. 

“I didn’t say that,” he hums. “You sure like putting words in my mouth. I meant, because you called me all gung-ho like, I was expecting a little more than a greeting. A quiz, or something. A game plan.”

“I have a plan.”

Holy shit, in the span of fifteen seconds you’ve turned into the biggest liar in the world. What plan? You hadn’t even fully recognized you were calling him until he picked up! “It’s twenty questions. The ultimate stay-awake game. I’ll ask such thoughtful questions that your brain will start to steam in that airport.”

This seems to catch him off guard; He snorts a laugh, a loud, pretty sound that you assume is immediately muffled because he’s in public. You’d been in the middle of setting a kettle on the stove when you heard it, and couldn’t help but smile a little widely in triumph. You made him laugh. Cool. 

“Is that so?” he snickers.

Slightly loosened up now, you shrug. “Of course. Let’s open it up with something easy. Coffee— or tea? There is a right answer.”

“How is there a right answer if you’re asking me what I like?”

“Between coffee and tea, of course there’s a right answer. One is good, crafted from nature and angels and all that is pure; a perfectly warm drink that soothes illness and brings joy to those young and old. And the other one is bitter and evil and rhymes with moffy.”

He laughs again. Shit. Should you consider becoming a comedian? Is this weird giddiness how they all feel when they get people to laugh? 

“I’m sure you’ve probably just never had good coffee,” he tries, “It’s not all bitter—“

“Are you putting forth your vote? Coffee? The devil’s choice of beverage?”

“No! You’re annoying. I like both.”

“That’s not the question I asked you, Duck Boy.”

You don’t even realize you’ve called him the name you refer to him as in your head. It slips out easily, a product of ease and amusement and familiarity— which is surprising to say when you’ve only been talking to this guy for a few minutes— but he doesn’t even seem to phase himself, only groaning as you badger him for an answer.

“Is it illegal to like both?” he asks finally, feigning hastiness. “Different occasions. Coffee to wake me up, tea to cool me down. Next question.”

“Don’t get too hasty, because the next question is in the same vein. What do you eat with your tea or coffee? Snack wise?”

“I would say I like bread with both,” he says confidently. “Like croissants? I really like croissants.”

“Something must be wrong with you.”

“What—“ You almost hear how he sits up, immediately affronted. “Hey!”

“Bread? Like just… straight bread? Yeast and egg and flour? With something as bitter as coffee, you’re not even going to have a donut or something? Lord, not even a muffin?”

“I don’t care for sweets! What do you like then, since you’re apparently the chooser of everything good?”

You lean against the counter, absentmindedly watching your kettle as you sigh theatrically, stretching like someone would before they run a marathon or swim a thousand meters. “You’re asking the wrong person this question,” you warn. “I could spend the next hour talking about snack combinations. Chamomile tea and banana nut muffins, a slice of frosted lemon cake with a taaaaall mug of double-steeped Earl Gray. I’m something of a savant in my field, you know. I might have to make you sign an NDA to protect my trade secrets.”

Duck Boy scoffs but you’re pleased to hear what sounds like a hidden smile— maybe even a grin. 

“Consider it signed,” he says. There’s another shift, a sound like fabric rustling, and then he sighs as if he’s just made himself comfortable; which, in an airport terminal seat, must be a fruitless effort. “I have nothing but time, Mystery Girl.”

Your tea was pretty great, all things considered. A London Fog with two teabags instead of one, a capful of vanilla essence to sweeten, milk and sugar— the perfect wind-down drink. It was no wonder then, when you returned to your room and found yourself heading for your bed instead of returning to the desk to continue your insidious diorama floor plan project, that your eyelids started to get a little heavy about fifteen minutes into twirling your finger around the headphone wire while talking with Duck Boy. You have been up for the last day after all, class and practice and studying, and tea at this hour always ends up knocking you on your ass after about half an hour.

The sudden onset tiredness isn’t helped by the fact that talking to him is so easy, either. 

It’s effortless. Who would have thought that the guy who routinely scolds you through text, periods and capitals and perfect grammar everywhere, could actually crack a few good jokes? It’s his dry humor that gets you, a deadpan delivery that had nearly made you spill hot tea on yourself three times; but you made him bark a laugh so loud at one point that he got the evil-eye from an airline attendant, so the scoreboard’s still in your favor.

Whether or not he can hear the sleepy lull in your voice through the phone, you’re not sure. He does seem to take the reins on question-asking though. Little things like your favorite color, musical genre, if you’re a homebody or the type to always be out and about. It’s a lot of good information (more than you ever thought you’d learn about some guy you dialed on a whim three weeks ago) which is why you’re a little salty that you had to go and fall asleep in the middle of all of it.

The last question you remembered had been after a small quiet, a breath of time where your eyes had been closed and he’d been humming, contemplating what to ask next.

Your tea was finished. Your laptop had timed out a long time ago which meant your room was only being lit by the kitchen light outside, a small sliver of warm white light.

“Do you— Do you do any extracurriculars? On campus?”

“Mystery breach,” you’d mumbled belatedly, attempting and failing to blink the bleariness from your eyes. “Look at you, trying to sneak that question in there. You already got to see me first. Now you want to know where to find me on campus, too?”

Immediately he flustered, stumbling for a response like you’d somehow managed to hit the nail on the head, but in your state you didn’t think to look further into it. “I’m kidding. At this point I’d probably give you my SSN if you asked for it. I play volleyball for the school, if that counts? I was on debate club in freshman year but I got kicked out for agreeing with my opponents too much.”

A beat, like he was mulling over this information, and then, “You? Agree with someone? That’s interesting, considering how much it seems you like to argue with me...”

“You’re different,” you yawned. “Very different. Being forced to debate with people I barely know on topics I don’t care about kind of sucks. But I actually like talking to you.”

“Oh,” he said. “…Is that so?”

"Right," you laughed and closed your eyes one last time. “I would never lie to my dickpic buddy.”

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[A LITTLE WHILE LATER]

a/n: pls leave a like if you enjoyed! it motivates me to work on this every time i see a notification about it LOL

[PREVIOUS PART] [INFO/MASTERLIST] [NEXT PART]

[m1ckeyb3rry]

OK KIYORA NOTES!!! These are all from the game I kinda wrote them summary/LN style because the act of typing it all out in dialogue format takes me like three times the time to type out and I got lazy oops

Anyways lmk if anything’s unclear! I basically broke it down into some main themes I noticed

- Karasu anon

Breakdancing: He really likes breakdancing, both Otoya and Bachira end up asking him to teach them, to which he essentially says yes but that he doesn’t really know how to teach and kinda just tells them to try and copy his moves

Otoya interaction: Kiyora originally says he doesn’t mind teaching but questions if Otoya can keep up. After Otoya restates that he’s a ninja descendant Kiyora seems to acknowledge him more

Bachira interaction: He asks to be taught thinking that it “seems fun” to which Kiyora replied with “not just seems fun. It IS fun”, Bachira also does it wrong (aka just tries following along bachira style) but Kiyora still acknowledges his potential

Player interaction: mid training, he asks the player if it’d be ok to integrate dancing into his training regimen. Player agrees but asks why. He explains that before coming to bllk he’d always participate in dance battles and liked dancing. When the player responds saying how they know of dance battles Kiyora immediately goes “oh nice let’s have a dance battle now then” to which player has to say “I know OF them not how to actually dance…” to which he says “oh well, can’t be helped if you don’t know how”

Voiceline: …my interests? Break dancing. Lets go (dancing/dance battling)

Karasu “rivalry”: He seems to have a sort of one sided rivalry with Karasu, constantly irked by Karasu underestimating him.

Interaction: Karasu acknowledges Kiyoras vision and borderline detection, essentially praising him for surviving in blue lock but still comments on kiyoras complacency and how Kiyora can’t survive just by riding on others’ success (probably referring to the second selection team). Kiyora responds by telling Karasu not to underestimate him

Voiceline: Karasu treating me like an idiot seriously pisses me off. I’ll crush him someday.

Nagi rivalry: Another rivalry although less one sided. Pretty obviously inspired/taken by their first meeting in epinagi

Interaction: similar scenario where they both end up reserving the same practice room but they actually did reserve the same room so instead they end up “battling” each other to win the room (even though they could share, they want the stakes present to motivate the match). Kiyora continuously refers to Nagi as “tall white”/“white beanpole” and Nagi continues calling Kiyora “chibi”

Voiceline: …I have some free time now. Maybe I’ll go challenge that white beanpole to a battle.

Height and underestimation: Is very aware that he is short and doesn’t like being underestimated because of it

Voiceline: Just now, you were thinking that I’m a shrimp weren’t you? Save the excuses, square up/let’s go.

Voiceline: Crushing those who underestimate me is the best, gets me hyped

Player interaction: Player approaches Kiyora after practice saying that they wanted to adjust some of the practice regimen after observing kiyora. They say they want to try hyping him up against strong opponents and suggests he play some one on ones. Kiyora is surprised at how well the players thoughts align with his own. He accepts saying there’s no reason to turn down a strong opponent, and that most of the bllkers underestimate him because of his height, so crushing them would be like fulfilling his wishes.

Player interaction: The player complements his weapon of shitting a low trajectory shot with a tight spin and that it’s even more impressive up close. Kiyora responds by asking if it’s amazing just because he’s “a pipsqueakl. Player denies this saying they were just admiring his shooting technique and that it has nothing to do with him being short. Player asked what he’d do if that was the case, to which he says “don’t underestimate me, I’ll crush you”. The player then thinks internally that they should be careful not to be too conscious of his short height.

Misc. voicelines and etc.:

“I’m the one who decides the battles on the borderline.”

“Aight, Ai-ght, etc.” many variations of “aight”

Player interaction: Kiyora starts to have doubts about if the player is actually capable of making him number one, so he wants to see for himself if he should continue following their plans or if he should drop them. Player thinks it’s naturally since they’re a soccer noob and asks what they should do. Kiyora tells them to continue as they’ve been doing for one week. In that time, he’ll follow along and if they plan something that he acknowledges he’ll continue working with them. Kiyora says that this is their borderline. If they want to continue working with Kiyora, they need to prove it and go beyond the borderline he’s defined.

Player interaction/assessment of Kiyora: Kiyora’s grounder techniques (wtv those are) are top class within bllk. Within those skills are his passes and gameplay senses. He’s able to take advantage of the large range of the field, cutting in and passing and shooting as needed. Those are the weapons that have helped Kiyora survive. Developing his dribbling skills and the ability to move around more himself is the best option for him to improve.

He’s stated that he also got into soccer because his older brother would force him to play with him, and if he lost he’d face a punishment so that was his motivation to improve LMAO

Generally he’s quite spunky, but mainly on the basis of not wanting to be underestimated due to his height. Also has a strong sense of self and ofc has the whole borderline thing going on where he enjoys being the deciding factor of things. I’ll come back with more updates if I see more interesting voicelines LOL

THANK YOUUU i think i actually did a fairly decent job at getting him!! hehe i already finished the one shot before you posted this but in the fic he’s kinda moody emo but also kinda cutie pie?? I GOT HIS OLDER BROTHER BEING THE ONE TO GET HIM INTO SOCCER OMG so proud…also got the height thing…his borderline thing ofc…his dancing is briefly hinted at towards the end but eh good enough for me!! in the au i wrote for he’s kinda uh violent (he used to be a street fighter because his older brother got him into it for the money but then he quit because he didn’t rlly like it) but it’s not like crazy or with people that don’t deserve it so hopefully it doesn’t feel ooc?? idk we’ll see…to be honest the place i ended the one shot at is definitely one that requires a part two for any elaboration/further characterization but considering idek if the anon will like the au i just left it there and i’ll add that i’m more than happy to do a pt2 if anyone’s interested but i didn’t want to waste my time if not 😭

also wait the one sided karasu beef is so funny LMAOAOA new sibling duo unlocked ⁉️ it’s giving roderick and greg from diary of a wimpy kid somehow 😭 the way kiyora fucking hates him and karasu just does not gaf…😓 that also makes that panel in bm vs pxg where it looks like karasu is using kiyora as a chair sm worse FJSLDJSJ that was probably kiyora’s thirteenth reason omg

[fandom-sheep]

Technoblade 30 JUN 24

Technoblade VS 100 Minecraft YouTubers Part 1/1

I had to look up my format for this it has been so long since I’ve had a video or stream to delayed live blog for

I texted my brother and it’s felt like old times when Techno would upload

Oh it’s starting.

Aww Tommy. Thank you Tommy!

Aww he used Technoblade style of intro

Oh hi technodad.

Oh no this is going to be an hour?! I have school work to do but oh well. Not as important.

Techno chilling while everyone panics that’s about normal

Cannibalism let’s go!!!

A lone pig

Technodad’s “meanwhile” 😂 I love this

Bye squid kid

Oh meanwhile is going to be such a good bit. Go technodad.

Technodad’s commentary is the best. “Found something much more annoying”

Oh look a tornado.

No Phil!!!! Philza!!!

Oh I forgot Schlatt was god.

24 straight minutes. Go Tommy editing that.

Techno stuck with his diaphragm spasming

Mans already dead and they’re showing his hiccups. 😂

Oh hi god.

Speedy pig

Reaches the surface and wonders what the heck happened.

Just run from the poison

“You can’t trade with god” “what if the next natural disaster is me”

Going crazy cause he has stuff to do what a legend

god making him go zoom zoom. I especially like “don’t get too excited it’s the same thing”

Oh there’s a storm coming towards me. Yuck.

Ah cool shield mode.

Hooray! Philza!

Ah and god is back

Everything shook. Man if god doesn’t know everything is bad

Man Schlatt said the best disaster is Techno.

Everybody else hanging out on the lava pillar

Hi again god. Techno is outfitted for war.

Technoblade has been promoted to minor god.

Flying Technoblade!!! Technoplane!!!!!

A techno on the horizon sniping people with gas.

Splish splash to the village(?)

Button? Sheep?

End it all button?

I love that Techno was happy to press the button since he has an appointment

Oops. The spam kinda over killed it.

Lag? Really that’s the issue right now?

“Stop spamming meteors!” What did Tommy expect to happen? He gave it to Techno.

How are people alive in that pile of fire?

You did bad when god asks you why.

Whoop. He broke the server. Happens sometimes.

Yeah sometimes you just need to vote techno the winner.

That was a good video. I’m glad I took the study break to watch it. And it wasn’t an hour long!

Now I kinda want to rewatch the potato war while I do my work. Oh Tommy uploaded a video to his channel too about Techno. Something else to watch…. Oh it’s just hitting that it’s the anniversary.

Remember y’all Technoblade never dies

[miniscrew-anon]

Texting HC for the boys

Wind - Uses discord way more than text. Commonly mutes chats. He gets a million discord messages from different groups and he can't be bothered to listen to every time someone complains about the mountain of dishes he left in the sink. If you really want to reach Wind you have to jump on discord or go to his room.

Twilight - Doesn’t like to send more than one message in a row because someone called him desperate one (1) time in high school and he never recovered. So instead he’ll send you a whole paragraph and agonize if he forgot to mention something. Everyone’s told him its fine to send literally a million texts in a row but Twi can’t get over it.

Warriors - Will 🙌 ironically 😎 text 📲 like ❤️ this 👏. But only when he wants to be annoying. Otherwise he’s fine and he can use emojis like hieroglyphics if he wants and he’s able to make himself very clear with just an eggplant emoji and a raised brow emoji.

Wild - Commonly texts the wrong chat and confuses the hell out of people. Accidentally forgets his phone in the other room and doesn’t see people’s messages until its several hours too late btu still texts them back like “oops sorry just saw this man” as if they didn’t know. Uses emojis liberally and goes on tangents and makes everyone forget what they were talking about. The people love hearing from him, but its hard to stay on topic when Wild is in the group chat.

Champion - Full words, no abbreviations. Will straight up send you an “acknowledged” instead of an “ok” to let you know he read your message. Never uses emojis. Ever. The one time Warriors did convince Champ to send a thumbs up emoji to Sky instead of “affirmative”, Sky almost broke down the dormitory door because he thought Champion had gotten kidnapped and was sending a coded cry for help.

Legend - Spams the fuck out of everyones phone when he’s pissed, which is a lot of the time. Doens’t give a shit what group text he’s in he’ll fucking send you an essay one sentance at a time cursing Sky out for eating the last of his goddamn breadpudding.

Hyrule - Never responds on time. He’s always busy and in a rush so when he reads a text and it doesn’t say something like “help i got shanked and now my liver is flopping around on the ground like a beached fish” then he’ll promptly forget what he just read. At the end of the day he might flip through his messages to check what he missed but normally he relies on Legend to fill him in on anything important.

Sky - Forgets which group chats hold which roommates so he’s the guy who will start a new chat every time he has a question. Has basically every permutation of group chats possible and yet will still find a way to make more. And he gives them names like “get milk” and “hairdryer?” so you never know whos in the group chat at a glance. It’s impossible to find anything. Plus, he sends texts half-asleep that mean nothing when he gets woken up too early.

Four - His texts are inconsistent as hell. Sometimes its emoji hell, sometimes it’s MLA essay format. But two things are always consistent: you can always detect the sarcasm and he’ll turn on his read receipts just to let you know he left you on read.

Time - Texts in full sentences but overall is a normal texter. But he types with his pointer finger with two hands so his real crime is being old.

Dark - When he got put away texting was in its infancy so he texts like “G8 C u L8r” and “ur 2 much”. The first time he texts Time after he gets out Time feels his soul vaporized by the blast from the past. Thankfully it only takes Dark one text to Shadow before the boy is physically showing up outside Dark's door to bring him into this century.

Shadow - Spams dumbass videos and memes like his life depends on it. His job is a lot of waiting around so he’s got time to kill and you Will receive messages from him at 39 mph (memes per hour).

[yami268]

The Mysterious Man or Why You Shouldn’t Make Deals with Enigmatic Entities Theme: Fairy Tale Format: Short Story/Fairy Tale Re-enactment Characters: Stork (Storm Hawks), Xelloss (Slayers), Finn (Storm Hawks), Junko (Storm Hawks), Martina (Slayers), Zangulus (Slayers) Pairing(s): One-sided Xelloss/Stork, One-sided Forced Martina/Stork, Martina/Zangulus at the end Rating/Warnings: K+ Words: 2879 Other: The tale of how a captured Stork sought out help from someone who could turn hay into gold. However, does this man have good intentions for his deeds? Inspired by Rumpelstiltskin.

Once upon a time in a far-off kingdom, there lived three farmers, Finn the human, Junko the Wallop, and Stork the Merb. They were okay farmers, mostly harvesting food for themselves. One day, the three went off towards the market to get supplies for their next crop. Stork though wanted to see the latest in magical protection wards.

“Dude, Stork, why do even buy those fake charms anyway?” asked Finn, raising an eyebrow.

“These aren’t fake,” Stork sneered. “They’re to protect me against ghosts, ghouls, goblins, and anything else like that.” Then, he sighed. “Unfortunately, they don’t protect me against idiots.”

Anyway, they made it to the market where it was busy, even more so with the Royal entourage there. They had set up a stage in the middle of it with guards in front. The people crowded around as the king stood up there with his daughter behind him.

“Attention, everyone!” he called out. “I regret to inform you that according to the Royal Treasurer, our kingdom is now considered broke.” The crowd became shocked before getting very mad, much to the king’s worry. “Now, now. This comes as a shock to us as well. It’s not like we overspent on certain items like expanding the Royal army, or the new pool for our castle, or Martina’s new clothes-!”

“Quiet, father!” The princess, Martina shouted before turning to the rabble. “In any case, we need to find a solution and quickly! If any of you have an idea, we would like to hear it!”

The crowd soon turned quiet, muttering to themselves about what to do. Though not much came to their minds. Then, from the far back, Finn shouted, “Wait! Stork can turn hay into gold!”

This came as a big surprise to everyone, especially Stork himself. “… I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can.” He smirked. “You said it yourself when we were shopping a month ago. Right, Junko?”

“Oh yea, you did,” Junko agreed.

Mentally slapping himself, he explained, “That’s not what I said! I said with how prices are, hay should be gold!”

“Oh… Oops.” But before they could correct the matter, the guards took Stork and dragged him to the castle.

---

That night at the castle, Stork was thrown into a large but dreary room. There was a lot of hay filling it, almost reaching towards the ceiling. As his hay fever was acting up, he wanted to leave. Unfortunately, the guards as well as the princess stood in front of the only door.

“Now, listen, peasant!” she started, “You have the entire night to turn all this hay into gold. But if you fail to do so, there will be dire consequences!”

“… What kind of dire consequences?” he asked, feeling like he knew the answer already. She pointed over to a very large guard with a large and sharp axe. He gulped, rubbing his neck. And with that, she and the guards left.

Shortly after, Stork lamented his situation. It wasn’t like how he had imagined he would die. But death by execution wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. As he continued to sulk, he wished for a way out.

“Hello there.”

His ears perked up as he looked to who said that. Not too far from him stood a strange-looking man. He had purple hair in a priest’s cut, his eyes were closed, and he held a staff in his hand. Next to him, there was a spinning wheel that looked unremarkable but felt enchanted. Bowing, he said, “I couldn’t help but notice your dilemma, and I am willing to offer my services for a price. Perhaps that talisman you carry around.”

“How ‘bout no,” Stork answered, much to his shock. “You don’t think I know how this works. I hand you the charm, you make the gold. They’ll think I did it, so they’ll put more hay in. Then, you’ll come back and ask for something else. This repeats until you ask me for something I absolutely can’t give. Well, I don’t accept any of your help and you can leave me alone, thank you very much!”

Placing a hand on his head, the man smiled. “Wow, I’m quite impressed that you were able to see through my façade. But there are still the dire consequences if you cannot make this all gold. Besides, do you still want a useless fake charm since I’m here and unaffected by it?”

He glared at him, his eye twitching. After a while, he sighed before handing the charm over. Taking it, he started to get to work, spinning all the hay into gold. The piles before slowly shrank as new piles of coins started to fill the room. Stork watched all this with suspicion until he got very tired and took a nap. After the last needle of hay was spun through, the man disappeared along with his spinning wheel.

With the door slamming open, Stork awoke to Martina, the king, and the royal guards walking in. Their eyes widened at the mountains of gold that littered the room. The king clasped his hands as he smiled. “Wow! How marvelous! This is a lot of gold for the hay we gave you.”

“… So, I can go, right?” he asked, almost hopeful.

“Ha! As if!” She gawked. “You still need to make more gold!” With a snap of her fingers, the guards quickly took the gold from the room. They soon replaced it with hay, a lot more than before. After which, they left, leaving him all alone again.

---

That night, he lamented his current situation. Perhaps he should’ve taken the dire consequences over the man’s help. Now he was expected to make even more gold. Clasping his hands over his head, he wondered what he should do now.

“Psst! Stork! Over here!” His ear twitched as he faintly heard the sound of what he recognized to be Finn’s voice. He got up, walked over to the only window and looked down. To his surprise, he saw Finn and Junko standing outside the castle wall.

“Moo!”

… Along with their only cow.

“What are you doing here?!” Stork asked, a bit exasperated.

We’re here to rescue you!” Junko yelled in a semi-quiet voice. “We got worried when you didn’t come back today!”

Finn nodded while also grinning. “… And we also wanted to know if you’ve managed to turn hay into gold too.”

“Uh huh,” he said, not wanting to get his hopes up. “May I ask what your plan is for getting me out?”

“We’re working on it!” The young human shouted back.

“… Does it involve the family cow?”

“Yea! Bessie wanted to help too!” Junko smiled as the cow let out a moo. Stork sighed, realizing that he was doomed. At least things couldn’t get any worse.

“Hello again.”

He shuddered. Of course, it could.

The same man from the night before sat outside the castle ledge as he glanced over at the trapped figure. “I see they want more gold this time. I’ll be willing to help again in exchange for something.”

“… Stork, who’s that?” Finn asked, raising an eyebrow.

Before he could answer, the man said, “Oh, just someone passing by and wanting to do a good deed. Though it’s not for free…” He placed a hand on his chin, pondering for a moment. “Perhaps the cow this time then.”

“What? Bessie!” Junko became worried before wrapping his arms around the cow. “No! I won’t let you!”

“Dude, seriously?! He says he’s gonna help Stork!” Finn looked over at him, seemingly annoyed.

“Yea, but it’s Bessie! She’s a good girl!” Tears started to well up in his eyes as the beast didn’t seem to care much.

“Well, I only suggested the cow,” the man said, “It can be anything, really.”

“Like what?” Stork looked over, dreading what he would suggest.

He thought for a moment before raising his finger. “Oh! How ‘bout your clothes?!”

With his mouth furthering into a deep pout, he stayed silent before looking back down. “Junko, give him the cow.”

Groaning, the wallop reluctantly agreed though he wouldn’t forgive him and Finn for it. The man smirked, snapping his fingers as the cow disappeared. Then, he popped right into the room with his spinning wheel and got to work. Like before, the piles of hay miraculously turned into gold. Stork watched the process before dozing off again. After a while, the mysterious man completed his work and then disappeared again.

When morning arrived, the king, princess, and guards came in. Now, they were even more impressed by the mountains of gold that littered the room. “Wow! This is so much more than before! Maybe we can afford that new stylish carriage with this!”

“… Can I at least go now?” asked Stork, tired of all this.

“Not so fast!” Martina exclaimed. “We still have another load of hay for you! Once you managed to turn that into gold, then perhaps…” She then looked away, her cheeks becoming red. “I would make you my husband… Despite you’re creepy charm.”

“B-but, dear!” the king stammered, ignoring an offended merb. “You’re really considering marriage to him?! He’s not even human!”

“Quiet, father! You’re not even considering the big picture! If we’re married, then our children will be able to have the gift of turning hay into gold!” She smirked, laughing maniacally. Now seeing his daughter’s reasoning, the king smiled. And with that, the guards traded the gold out for hay again and they all left once more.

---

As night came, Stork waited, not looking as brooding as the last couple of nights. Just then, the man reappeared with his spinning wheel again. “Ah, I see that you’re in a better mood than before.”

“Oh yes,” he said, his eyes becoming undeterred. “I already know what you’re going to ask for. My firstborn child, right?”

Mirroring his own smirk, he nodded. “Well then?”

He remained silent for a moment, thinking it over. Then surprisingly, he put his hand out. “Deal.”

“… Huh?”

“I, Stork, am willing to give my firstborn in exchange for you turning this hay into gold.” Another moment of silence filled the air as he stared at him. “Well, are you going to do it or not?”

The man, looking stunned by this, tilted his head in thought before shaking his hand. “Very well.”

Stork smirked as he executed his plan flawlessly. What he didn’t know was that he did not plan to have children at any time. So, he could not get it and he would be finally free of him. In any case, he gleefully sat as the man turned all the hay into gold. Once he was finished, he disappeared again, leaving a very happy Stork.

---

When the morning came, the royal court was even more surprised to see the vast piles of gold. True to her word, Martina declared Stork to be her new husband and the two got married shortly after. The rest of the year was uneventful for the most part. He had been looking over divorce laws while she tried her best to sleep with him. But she couldn’t force herself to do so, which he was very glad for. Anyway, one year had passed and the mysterious man popped up once again.

“Hello! I’m here to take my payment now!”

“Aha! I’ve tricked you, you jerk!” exclaimed Stork. “For you see, I knew you would agree to it! But unfortunately for you, I never planned to have kids! So, so long! Hope to never see you again!”

The man’s closed eye twitched as he slowly became irritated. “Oh really…” He then leaned in close to a now hesitant merb. “In that case, I guess I would be taking you then.”

“… What?”

“I did say you can give me something else, yes?” A dark smile formed on his face. “If I can’t have your child, then your body will do just fine. Now, shall we get going?”

Stork gulped, his knees shaking at the sight of a person not liking being duped. Then, Martina burst into the room, also looking aggravated. “Hold it right there! Who is this man and what do you mean you don’t want kids?”

The man quickly switched back to his pleasant self before bowing to her. “Oh, I am sorry. I am the man who has been helping your husband. However, he seems to have cheated out of my deal, so I’m just going to take him instead.”

“Ha! Like I would let you take my husband! … Even if he’s creepy… And unpleasant… And I don’t really get his poetry…” She looked away as Stork stood irritated in the background. “In any case, he’s still my husband and I won’t let you!”

“I see… Then perhaps a game,” he suggested.

She raised an eyebrow, slightly curious. “What kind of game?”

“A simple one.” He smirked. “If anyone can guess my name, then I will be willing to let bygones be bygones. If not, then I will take your husband with me.”

Martina thought for a moment, before nodding. “Deal!”

With that, the man disappeared, leaving the two alone. She then looked over at Stork, asking, “By any chance, do you have any idea on what his name is?”

“Unfortunately…” Stork hesitantly chuckled, “No.”

---

Not long after, Martina called for the services of Finn and Junko. She told them the details of what had happened and asked them to find out who the mysterious man was. Thus, they traveled over the land, asking the wisest wizards and scholars. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any answer, leaving the two stumped.

“Geez! Leave it to Stork to end up in this mess,” Finn complained as he and Junko traversed through a dark forest.

“I hope it’s not a hard name to remember…” His ears drooped. “Like Rumpelstiltskin.”

“It’s not Rumpelstiltskin. It’s Remmy Skilskit.”

“Really?” He tilted his head. “I thought it was Rodger Slalpick.”

“No, no!” Finn waved his hands. “That’s Randy Solkick.”

“Really, ‘cause I thought-!” The two stopped and became quiet all of a sudden. Far off in the distance, they heard music playing. They slowly approached the source towards a clearing. There, they saw goblins and sprites dancing around. And much to their surprise, there was the man, who was singing a catchy ditty.

“Oh hooray, it has come to past, Soon, I’ll have the Merb at last For he thought I would be easily trick But I’ll show him that I’m very slick For who can ever win this game As Mister Xelloss is my name.”

The two eagerly listened in before retreating back into the thicket. Finn snickered as he smirked. “Heh! What do you know? He said his own name.”

“Yea.” Junko nodded. “And Xelloss is easy to remember.”

---

The next day, the mysterious man came back to the palace with a waiting Stork and Martina, along with Finn and Junko. “So, I see you’re all here to guess my name.” He smiled evilly, his hand tapping his staff. “Well, what is it then?”

Without wasting time, Stork stepped up and coughed. “… It’s Xelloss, right?”

“W-What?” Xelloss stammered, becoming stunned.

“It’s Xelloss. That’s your name.” His eyes narrowed at the surprised man. “Now, can you leave me alone?”

He was silent for a moment, looking embarrassed. “Well… You see…”

Before he could continue, a man with a sword came bursting into the room. “ALRIGHT! Where’s my greatest rival?!”

Everyone stared at him, confused by his appearance. Except for Martina, who seemed to be awestruck. “My… What an incredibly handsome man you are…”

“… Excuse me?” he asked, now becoming confused as well.

“Oh don’t worry. There’s nothing here for us to do anyway,” she said, as she wrapped herself around his arm. “Let’s go somewhere else, where my soon-to-be-ex and his friends won’t bother us.”

As the two took their leave, the rest watched, their heads hurting from trying to make sense of it. Stork soon snapped back before glaring at Xelloss again. “Well, are you going to leave?”

“Umm, well, you see…” he scratched his face. “The deal was that I wouldn’t take you if you guess my name correctly. I never said that I would be leaving you alone.”

Hearing this, he became very pale. “And why should I?! You’re a wonderful source of negative emotions to feed on! Oh what fun! Think of all the time we can spend together, me feeding off your pessimism and annoyance! I think we might as well be best friends!”

Twitching, Stork remained silent for a moment. Then, surprisingly, he grabbed Xelloss, dragging him over to a window and tossing him out. “There! I should’ve done that in the first place!”

“Yea, I guess.” Finn shrugged. “Hopefully, we don’t see that guy again.”

And so, everything pretty much went back to normal. Martina divorced Stork and took on the swordsman she met as her new husband. No one in the kingdom questioned it as they didn’t care that much. He, along with Finn and Junko, went back to their small farm. Unfortunately, Xelloss popped up every now and then, much to his annoyance.

The End

[soongtypehuman]

I did an oops.

Chapter 4 of Stardust Dreams is up, and it's a longer one (10.5k words, roughly).

Unfortunately, I fucked up the text when pasting it into AO3 and it broke my formatting, so none of the internal dialogue via their separate channels was in italics as it should be, so it kind of looked like a mess and made little sense if you couldn't suss out what was happening. It's fixed now, but my apologies if you read it and couldn't figure out wtf was going on.

Anyhow, if you want death and smut and my homage to the weirdest part of 2001: A Space Odyssey, one of my all-time favorite books, then you can read Unification now.

[mdpikachu]

I’d love to hear more about Mephistopheles’s friendship with Sakata Kintoki. I’ve never considered that dynamic before.

borrowing daku's art bc i dont think i've drawn them together but. also i write mephi, daku writes taro.

Friendship summary: Local area man meets a clown and immediately gets the clown's name wrong (and calls him Moose for short). Said clown decides this is hilarious and sticks around to see what other dumb things happen. here's a readmore

Mephi's plan failed within ten minutes. Oops! Shared interests! (golden bear, dozing bombs. machinery. also, safety but that came later) That, and while Mephi intended to just lie to Kintaro constantly about mundane goofy things, this also failed. Mephi has the majority of the brain cells between them (usually), which is funny because you'd think the clown would be the idiot.

Taro's the doof supreme (affectionate) brawn, Moose is the nerd (affectionate) brain. Together they make an actual team bc Mephi's good at strategic planning/traps (witchcraft/bombs) and Kintoki hits like a truck and has an easy escape option (golden bear).

I'll make it a decent format instead of name: dialogue bc that's a slog. Kintaro was initially based on just info from the JP server and tl'd dialogue so he's a lil dumber than canon sorry about that. mephi is never wrong bc im never wrong (<- was violently wrong about a bit of faust lore thats critically important to mephistos character. oopsy. tfw u suggest mephi lying about killing faust and then reread the interlude after introducing ghost faust DERAILED, MOVING ON)

----

(Scene opens with Kintaro's Master with his head in the sofa, avoiding human contact. Overstimulated. too many guests. Mephi's Master isn't present at the moment.)

Pointing at this was Mephisto, who had returned to be unnecessarily difficult.

"Wow, it's a wild sofa ostrich! I've never seen one in the wild before!"

"Hey, hey! He's no stupid ostrich, youuuu…. er….." Kintaro trailed off, staring at Mephisto. He wasn't actually sure what he was looking at.

"I'll wait!" Mephisto announced, pulling his legs off the ground to sit cross-legged in midair. His tails wagged slowly as he watched Kintato go through a variety of facial expressions while thinking.

"You trapeze artist!" Kintaro shot back well over a minute later, "That's what that get-up is supposed to be, ain't it?!"

Mephi grins and holds up two fingers. "Nope! Two tries!"

Kintaro "Ehhh"d for a moment, before announcing that he needed a hint. Lancer Elizabeth was standing nearby, rolling her eyes in disbelief. Even she wasn't this stupid! She had no right to judge, though, having attempted to sing on the roof to the new neighbors.

Mephisto gave Kintaro a big grin before tapping one of the horns on his hat as his hint. This man could probably guess a demon, or an oni, or--

"Oh, a deer!" Kintaro guessed confidently, and completely incorrectly.

Mephisto put a finger down. One guess remaining!

"Wait, wait, wait! Wait! I know! I know!"

Mephisto sat back in the air and waited for Kintaro to excitedly make his hypothesis known.

"You're a moose!" Kintaro announced, throwing his hands up, "I love meeses!" ---- (Mephisto broke out laughing before correcting Kintaro with more info than anyone else got. The trust was Instant. kintaro also wants to get piledriven by a moose, takes 10 dmg from mephi giving it an actual shot in the backyard, and then proceeds to get evaded by mephi like 4 times. eventually a bomb blew up, ash-facing both of them. scene ends with this. skipped him giving mephi a helmet and mephi accepting it. we also joked that this was a ship but its a friendship. mephis master does nothing to stop any of this, and neither does taro's.) Kintaro: [he picks up Mephisto] We're going to go on a drive! A drive into your heart! If no one else is going to befriend you, I am, Moose! Our friendship will be golden!! (other dumb shit they did together: clothes shopping (safety on bikes!), use an ouija board (mephi hated every second of it), i know theyve fought together at least twice, i dont remember what else. theres like 25 documents of this nonsense i dont remember shite. im not putting this in the tag i say putting it in the t)

[dentpx]

Round 2 Day 12 Recap

Congrats to the Ninth Doctor! Rewatching Doctor Who fundamentally broke me as a person! I love him so much. however after watching Torchwood, I do believe that Jack needs therapy more. his life sucks so bad. but Nine is also going through it. sad to be them.

category: i want to get you therapy and fix your life Captain Jack Harkness vs Ninth Doctor category: little guys (revote due to my own error) Garfield vs Angelina Ballerina Snoopy vs Piglet (also in this category is Moomin, but his poll had no errors so no voting for him. but i'm putting him here because i use these posts to remember who is still in the running) category: i wanted to be you Jesse and James vs Maid Marian vs Misa Crona vs Robin Hood Sportacus vs Zelda category: i just like you Arthur vs Jesse Dr. Doofenshmirtz vs Mercutio Wirt vs Silver the Hedgehog

oops i meant to post this ages ago. look at round 2 day 13 here, it's over, but like i need to format these posts identically or i'll go crazy. anyway i have to go make a bunch of gifs for those days winner. and then i have to randomize my round 3 brackets. and then i have to go to class.

[fictionfixations]

i feel like complaining

MAJOR book 6 spoilers???

so. here.

is my dumbass inexperienced html formatting mf (is that even the right word)

the thunder spear speaks so it completely broke it because how tf am i supposed to add it?? twistune dialogue rows (thats what its called. even in battles.) dont have the option to hide text im pretty sure (and if there is, WHERE is the template page explaining how to format ????)

and since ofc the thunder spear doesnt have a PFP its just gonna be broken. so i. changed it to dialogue so i could hide the name and the image but then it pushed out the rest of the dialogue (the not properly formatted text is what it looks like if you dont put it in a table.)

so to fix it i resigned on creating ANOTHER dialogue table so it'd look how its meant to

but that means i kicked out the dialogue into its own thing and now even if you dont view the battle dialogue its just THERE. and. *headbang* oops my bad that somehow didnt occur to me i am an idiot

(ignore that idia and ortho are missing files. also theres an option for overblot=1 and while orthos a phantom i guess itd probably stay in the same category so.. yeah.)

so this is what it looks like now

which is better.

but now it really bothers me. and i dont think theres a way to fix it or remove the other 'battle start' 'after attacking' stuff. trust me, i tried for so long searching the wiki (this was back from the first time i encountered dialogue in battle, which was Vil in Chapter 66 of the tower thing where they attack the titan). but without the table its like the first image of the dialogue. and not adding the dialogue1 = stuff (which is equal to battle start) wont make it disappear.

so. yeah. i knew there was a reason i kept avoiding adding more chapters. because its either difficult or tedious.

anyway if you havent checked in awhile and you probably havent. the wiki has a bunch more of the book 6 chapters

(talking about the upper half) some chapters were missing. some were not. i just added the ones that were missing, and then i reached chapter 67 and gave up (did you know theres like 200+ chapters if you count the subchapters? pain. i managed through 66 because someone did most of tower 2, and i think the PTM parts of tower 3 iirc? which made it more bearable but chapter 67 has nothing LMFAO)

so yeah. wOO.

(i wanted to add more book 6 stuff cause someone started adding more chapters to GloMas which had been missing a lot of chapters for awhile and i got inspired! ..and then immediately hit a motivation killer jeez.)

anyway thanks for listening to me complain. i guess. does anyone even like hearing someone complain?? i just like talking about anything and everything

[botaniqueer]

Oops, I finally fixed the links on my pinned post. I forgot that 1) Tumblr changed the url format for tagged posts and 2) me changing the name of this blog broke the links anyways

[oshi-nakadapiroki]

Suehirogari live commentary (9/21)

matsui's first tone sounds so sensual??

enomoto's got his mic wrapped

EVERYONE'S GOT SEE-THROUGH RAINCOATS

AKASHI SIT

TONBOKIRI-SAMA

akashi got his hood off first (giving the people what they want; sasuga hiroki)

THEY ALL SOUND SO GOOD TODAY???

it sounds just like the recorded version, they can't be doing playback are they?

LAUGHING MY ASS OFF @ ONIMARU OMFG

enomoto and date-senpai got an umbrella/parasol

they cut hizen's mic when he shouted in the megaphone

tonbokiri is looking Fierce

AKASHI GOT THE SECOND MITSUMENAIDE ZOOM

daihannya got the last zoom and he kept STARING at someone in the audience rather than the camera? i'd COMBUST

did the back dancer hurt his knee?

oodenta is gonna fall off the truck if he keep leaning further every time

everyone's raincoats are getting steamy by now lol

everyone sounds softer today somehow

lmao the guy in the audience with the tonbokiri towel headband

someone's got their grandpa in the audience

matsui got rid of his raincoat

the fans in the far back blushing, giggling kicking their feet are a MOOD

AKASHI JUMP

thank you camera crew for not cutting to the center shot as usual

part of the tent covering akashi's face

NEW ANGLE SHOWS FULL BODY SHOT OF AKASHI

legs 💕

tsurumaru was so thirsty he didn't even kanpai lol

monoyoshi's bad posture

seeing hyuuga pull mutsu by the tail and i'm getting flashbacks to musuhaji when he tried breakdancing and ripped it off

hiroki running among the audience and i'm Terrified he's gonna slip on the ground

where's Tonbokiri btw

onimaru did today's amai kotoba

damn that voice is velvet smooth

hasebe AND tomoe getting up and close with the camera

yep that's akashi on the mini stage behind hizen

why have they been robbing us of this footage 😭

lol tomoe stripping hizen then wiggling a finger no to the camera

buzen sneeze kawachii

K O N P E I T O U

ummm they've changed the formation for danzen?

now i'm scared

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🏳

ok so they definitely did something to the mics this time

lol they each got their respective umbrella guy with them

DATE-SENPAI PEAKED NEW NOTE

KUWANA AND TONBOKIRI??

WHAT IS THIS UNSOLVED SEXUAL TENSION

jfc tonbokiri is Intimidating

his sheer PRESENCE

oop onimaru actually did slip on the stairs

akashi patting imanotsurugi 🥹

HE GOT THE DA DAISUKI ZOOM

well he did it together with onimaru (expectations vs reality)

horikawa stealing finger hearts from yasusada

hizen and ookanehira fighting who gets to get up the stairs first like two gradeschoolers lol

akashi trying his best to be in time for the wave

subtle muramasa tribute

MR SPI SPEARMAN

C A L M D O W N

WHAT IN THE BURLESQUE

a god amongst men

strut that stuff

this is the closest we'll get to seeing tonbokiri after having just a bit too much sake on the engawa in the evening before muramasa gets in the futon with him

hasebe's solo song is nice

i'd like to see him duet with horikawa

MUTSU IN KANE-SAN'S PLACE AGAIN?

dare no mono demonai jinsei my beloved

oh their mic covers are gone now

i could only imagine how fun shin had learning the moves with haru-chan and shotaro 🥺

technical difficulties?

mic covers back on

THEY CUT BEFORE AKASHI COULD PUT HIS LEG UP

oodenta straddling that tent pole

akashi perspective waving at koryuu

hachisuka × koryuu?

tonbo soft smile 🥹

did they do a new formation for Can you guess what too?

where's YOUR itadakimasu ookanehira??

they're all fighting for their spots 😂 literal children

they almost broke bashiko

more technical difficulties

mic covers gone

i'm weak for akashi's smirk illuminated by the red lights

DON'T POINT AT THE CAMERA LIKE THAT I WASN'T PREPARED

shougo hitting those high notes again

pls two fingers only mr kuniyuki

he's worked enough already so nagasone/mutsu on haiku duty

UGH HE'S LAYING ON THE STAGE AGAIN

MINNA-HAN

it's a 🙌 chaos world 🙌

NEW FORMATION FOR SCARLET LIPS

hasebe doing horikawa's high note

i wonder why they put ryuugi and spi when their voices don't match well.. then again it's hard to be on the same level as spipi

utsuhige monoyoshi × tonbokiri (looking like your average 2010s yaoi pairing)

sayonara matsui × hyuuga

no lift this time

AKASHI GOT THE LAST KIMI JANAKYA DAME ZOOM IN ENBU

no lift for urashima or hyuuga either

SPI SIR YOUR ENTIRE CHEST IS OUT

bless that v-neck

he looks fucking feral

yasusada and hizen's mics didn't pick up their sakebe unfortunately

a treat to see spi's sweaty chest illuminated by the fireworks