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babysizedfics · 4 years ago

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Little Accidents, Big Developments

Chapter 1: A Colourful Afternoon

[This is an age regression story]

The sides have successfully integrated Virgil's regression and Roman's age dreaming into their dynamic, and everyone seems happier for it. Though, Virgil's willingness to trust the others is tested when a long-term problem starts to present itself around his family; his regression leaves him susceptible to wetting himself.

Caregivers Patton and Logan try to help him navigate this issue all while navigating their own newly-discovered romantic feelings for each other.

Sibling spats, covert kissing sessions, and baby babbles lie herein.

Other chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / bonus

Read on AO3 or below the cut!

Chapter Summary:

Roman tries to look after his baby brother, Logan learns to let loose a little, Virgil is nervous to be left on his own, and Patton can’t take much more of this adorableness without screeching.

Chapter word count: 9,000

oOo

It was late afternoon in the mindscape and the house had been moderately quiet. There was the faint clattering of pans as Patton cooked in the kitchen, the soft scratching of Virgil’s crayons, and Logan’s quiet snores coming from the couch. They had been the only sounds cutting through the lazy atmosphere, up until Roman started playing with his Disney figurines. The silly voices and impromptu solos he made the characters perform interrupted the calm, though it was such a common sound in the house that no one seemed to notice the change.

Virgil had regressed a few hours earlier and, as usual, Roman’s littlespace quickly followed. There were a variety of reasons Virgil’s regression often inspired Roman to trigger his age dreaming; seeing Virgil act so young sparked the craving for Roman himself to let go of adult responsibilities, plus seeing Virgil’s various baby items such as his plushes and soft clothes made Roman miss his own little items - especially his toys. Also (and probably most of all), the care and affection that Patton and Logan bestowed upon a regressed Virgil did admittedly make Roman jealous. But he had learned that if he only asked for it, he was given the same level of attention, so it no longer upset him as it had previously. Instead of getting angry like he used to, he knew he could just fall into his own littlespace and he and Virgil could both be taken care of without any arguments. Though that afternoon, not much attention was being given to either of them.

Patton had tasked Logan with caregiving duties when he left to make dinner. While the logical side had taken to his caregiving headspace much more readily in the recent weeks, the lull of the afternoon had apparently made him lethargic and he had fallen asleep not long after.

Roman didn’t mind, though. As Virgil’s big brother, that meant that while the caregivers were not in the room (or were unconscious) it was Roman who was in charge! He hadn’t taken to caregiving, and he had no desire to, but he felt a childish giddiness at being given the role of a protector. Even if it was unintentionally handed to him by Logan falling asleep.

But Roman was quickly realising it was a lot harder to look after Virgil than their caregivers made it look.

The littles had both been preoccupied when Patton left, Virgil colouring a picture and Roman playing with his toys. Though, being much more observant and aware in his littlespace than Virgil was, Roman did notice when Patton left. He had tiptoed out quietly, leaving the distracted Virgil unaware of his departure.

Roman knew this was because of how clingy Virgil had become. Ever since they integrated his regression into the family dynamic, Virgil could hardly bear to be away from his Papa’s side for a minute. Logan had said it was something called ‘separation anxiety’ and that it was common for young children. Whatever it was called, Roman still didn’t see why it was worth crying every time their dad left the room. It wasn’t like he went far.

As expected, when Virgil finished his drawing and held it up to where Patton had been sitting, he stiffened on seeing the empty armchair. Roman looked up at the movement and felt his stomach drop when he saw Virgil’s eyes tear up.

He didn’t like it when Virgil cried, partly because it meant he stole all of their caregivers' attention, but mostly because it made Roman’s tummy flip and his throat get all cloggy when he saw his little brother upset. He didn’t like it.

‘It’s okay, Vee,’ Roman said. He dropped his toys and quickly shuffled closer to Virgil on the carpet. Their caregivers had said Virgil needed to be close to someone if he was sad because it helped him feel safer. ‘What’s the matter?’

Virgil’s fingers flew up to tug nervously at the handle of the pacifier that sat in his mouth. His eyes frantically searched around the room.

‘Dad went to make dinner,’ Roman explained. ‘Look, Mom’s still here,’ he pointed at Logan who let out a timely snore.

‘Theep,’ Virgil lisped through his pacifier, sounding upset.

‘Yeah, he’s asleep,’ Roman said, 'but I'm here too.'

The worry stayed on Virgil’s face, and Roman was about to speak again but fell silent when his hand was suddenly covered by something soft and warm. Roman’s gaze fell down to see that Virgil was holding his hand tightly. When he looked back up, Virgil refused to meet his eyes.

Pride surged through Roman. His little brother wanted comfort and was relying on him! He puffed out his chest to look important and tried to think of a way he could help Virgil feel better. He would prove he was just as smart and kind as their caregivers, and then Virgil would love him just as much.

‘Don’t be scared, baby,’ Roman said then twisted his hand around so that he could grip Virgil’s hand back in reassurance. ‘Do you wanna do another colouring?’

A small whimper escaped Virgil as his hand clasped tighter around Roman’s.

‘You wanna stay with me?’ Roman asked and Virgil nodded slightly. ‘Then let’s do a colouring together. We can show Mom when he wakes up and then Dad and they’ll be really happy we played nice together!’

Virgil perked up at the suggestion and Roman was happy to see he didn’t look close to tears anymore. Roman had helped Virgil to stop being scared and came up with a really good way to play together; he was the best big brother ever!

He summoned a large piece of paper, an assortment of coloured markers, and a black fineliner. With the fineliner, he started drawing a complex lined image of an overgrown bush full of leaves and flowers of various shapes. Virgil did not let go of his hand throughout the few minutes it took to finish and Roman was glad his dominant left hand was the one left free to draw.

When it was done, he tipped the coloured pens out of their case and they tumbled unceremoniously onto the floor.

‘You can start colouring that side and I’ll do this side,’ Roman directed, then grabbed a red marker and began adding colour to a rose.

He stopped after a few moments when he realised Virgil hadn’t moved. He looked up with a frown and saw a hesitance in Virgil’s eyes.

‘C’mon, you know how to colour,’ Roman whined in complaint.

Roman thought he had made Virgil feel happy, but now he was just being a scared baby again. And Roman didn’t even know why! He wasn’t good at knowing what was wrong with Virgil, their caregivers were supposed to do that. A faint frustration bubbled in his chest, but he knew to keep it there and not snap at Virgil. That was when things got really frustrating because when Roman yelled, Virgil would cry then Patton got worried and Logan told Roman off for being mean.

‘Why’re you scared?’ Roman asked. Then a thought came to him and he pouted. ‘Do you not like my picture?’

Virgil’s eyes widened and he shook his head. Roman breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Then what? You don’t like using pens? You dunno what colour to use?’ At the last question, Virgil’s hand squeezed and he nodded.

‘That’s silly,’ Roman giggled. Why was Virgil scared about something like that? ‘You can use whatever colour you want.’

‘Bu’ it yours,’ Virgil mumbled, the pacifier garbling his words.

‘Nu-uh,’ Roman shook his head, ‘I made it for both of us. And it’s boring if I choose all the colours, anyway,’ he shrugged then went back to colouring.

After a few seconds, Virgil slowly picked up a purple marker and Roman smiled at him to show that it was good. They coloured together in silence, their hands still joined between them.

A couple of minutes passed before Roman heard a gasp and looked over to see that Virgil’s pen marks had slipped outside of the lines. It wasn’t surprising; Virgil could never stay inside the lines when he coloured. When he first saw the messy work in Virgil’s colouring book, Roman teased him about it but then Virgil got sad and Patton had explained it was because Virgil regresses so young. Roman pointed out that Virgil was also using his wrong hand to colour because he was usually left-handed but Logan told him not to draw attention to it. So Roman apologised and Virgil was never worried about his messy colouring after that.

But for some reason this time Virgil looked like he’d committed an unforgivable crime. His eyes were wide and he had quickly dropped the pen to hide his hands in his sleeves.

‘That looks cool!’ Roman said quickly. He really didn’t want Virgil to start crying again.

Virgil looked like he was scared of him and it made Roman sad. How come Virgil didn’t believe him? He remembered Logan saying something about showing instead of just telling when you’re trying to get someone to understand you, so Roman decided he should show Virgil that colouring outside the lines was okay.

He stabbed his own pen onto the page and purposefully scribbled over the lines. He looked over at Virgil and saw the younger boy look cautiously from the page to Roman.

‘It’s more fun like this,’ Roman assured him. Then he grabbed a different coloured pen and started drawing swirling shapes outside of the lines. It wasn’t a lie - this was way more exciting than trying to be careful with the colours!

Virgil made a noise of understanding then picked up his purple pen and started scribbling randomly too. Soon they were filling the page with a rainbow of colours and shapes and made a silent game of trying to fill up their side of the page faster than the other. The room gradually filled with their growing laughter.

oOo

Logan awoke to the joyful sound of childish giggles.

In any other situation, it would have irritated him to be jolted out of sleep by someone else’s loudness. He heavily relied upon his body to wake him at the perfect stage of his sleep cycle to avoid any grogginess. Logan had made it very clear to the rest of the household a long time ago that they should not wake him unnaturally unless in emergencies. The others certainly didn’t seem to appreciate it on the rare occasion when Logan’s sleep cycle was interrupted and he had been far more impatient than usual.

Though this time Logan did not mind. Blinking his eyes open to see Roman and Virgil laughing together, joined at the hand and smiling brightly immediately dispelled any of Logan’s unsavoury feelings at being woken up. Though realising that he had fallen asleep while he was meant to be looking after the littles did cause him some guilt.

‘I apologise for falling asleep,’ Logan said, readjusting his glasses. ‘Have you two been alright?’

The two looked up at him excitedly.

‘Mom, I looked after Vee while you were asleep!’ Roman cried triumphantly.

‘Thank you, Roman,’ Logan said, ‘it appears you did a wonderful job.’ Both caregivers had realised Roman required a lot of positive reinforcement when he was little, so Logan always made a conscious effort to praise him.

‘Yeah, I did,’ Roman agreed with a big smile.

Virgil released Roman’s hand and stretched his arms out to Logan wordlessly as if he could somehow make them span the length of the living room floor. Logan immediately got up and walked over, settling to kneel on the carpet between both boys.

‘Have you been having fun with your big brother?’ Logan asked as he wrapped an arm around Virgil’s shoulders. Virgil hummed in confirmation and leaned against Logan’s side.

‘Do you like our colouring?’ Roman asked, tugging on Logan’s other arm harshly.

‘There is no need to pull, Roman. Just asking will do,’ Logan reprimanded gently, then looked down at the large piece of paper (A2 size, he noted) in front of him.

The page was decorated in an intricate, hand-drawn floral design, though the colours did not necessarily reflect the image. There were polka dots and spirals and scribbles and doodles of all different hues decorating the edges of the paper, with the middle of it still uncoloured. It was abstract and so something Logan would never normally have seen the point in. Though, he had to admit the disregard for conventionality was rather creative. And the smiles on Roman and Virgil’s faces were enough to convince Logan of the benefits of it.

‘It is rather colourful,’ he said. His neutral response appeared to disappoint Roman, so Logan promptly added, ‘and beautiful.’

‘Thanks, Mom!’ Roman said with a bright smile. ‘This is my side, and that one’s Vee’s,’ he indicated them with his pointer finger.

Logan looked at it more carefully, noticing the contrast between each side of the page. Roman’s colours were much more varied, seemingly using every colour available, and created elegant swirling patterns and smooth gradients. Not a single part of his side was left blank. Virgil’s side was much messier, with less variation in colours - he had used purples and blues mainly with some occasional hints of red. His pen marks were erratic and there were large streaks of white showing through the ink. His colouring was visibly less thought-out than Roman’s, appearing to be far more based on whimsy rather than aesthetics.

A quiet whimper sounded beside him and then Virgil’s face was pressed into his shoulder. Logan realised his quiet deliberation must have made him anxious.

‘The sides are both very different,’ he confirmed, ‘just as you two are very different.’ Virgil’s face pushed further against him. ‘Though they are both equally beautiful.’

He did not have much time to enjoy the look of surprise and delight on Virgil’s face before Roman was jostling his shoulder for attention again.

‘It was my idea!’ he proclaimed. Logan turned his head to him with an exaggerated look of surprise.

‘It was?’ he gasped.

‘Mhm,’ Roman nodded fervently. ‘Vee was nearly crying, so I said we should colour together to make him feel better.’

Logan smiled encouragingly, though tightened his hold around Virgil as he felt the younger side tense. Roman was not exactly delicate when mentioning Virgil’s tears. Still, he did not mean any harm and so there wasn’t much to be done about it.

‘That was very considerate of you,’ Logan said. ‘Your dad will be glad to hear it as well.’

Roman nodded to himself then jumped back into colouring with rekindled fervour.

Logan took the opportunity to give Virgil his undivided attention. It was a rare moment when Roman was occupied enough to not demand it for himself.

‘How are you feeling, Virgil?’ Logan asked, squeezing his shoulder lightly.

Virgil did not offer a response but looked up at Logan expectedly. He was evidently not very verbal at that moment.

‘Do you need anything?’ Logan asked instead, hoping the more direct question would encourage him to communicate.

‘Papa,’ Virgil whispered as soon as Logan finished speaking, the word muffled by his pacifier.

A sharp, unpleasant feeling spiked Logan’s stomach but he chose to ignore it.

‘Shall we go and show Papa the colouring?’ Logan asked.

‘No, it’s not finished yet!’ Roman interrupted.

Logan sighed quietly then turned to see Roman’s pouting face.

‘I believe dinner is almost ready,’ Logan said, going off of the appetising smells that filled the house. ‘And this is a rather large drawing. You may not have time to complete it before your dad sees it.’

‘He can’t see it yet,’ Roman mumbled grumpily. He started colouring again, though this time he was pressing the marker so hard against the paper it made a squeaking sound.

Logan wanted to respond to Roman’s tantrum but felt a gentle tug on his opposite sleeve. He twisted his body to see Virgil shyly holding a marker up to him.

‘For me?’ Logan asked redundantly, taking the pen.

Virgil pointed at the colouring page, his eyes pleading with Logan.

‘Oh, I see,’ Logan said. He considered for a moment then conceded, ‘I suppose I can help.’

Virgil smiled then picked up a pink marker and started scribbling.

Logan popped the cap off of his own pen and started to draw a simple square on the page. As the minutes ticked by, he experimented with various shapes and marks, though eventually settled on writing numbers chronologically. It was calming, and the boys didn’t seem to mind the difference, instead seeming pleased by the wild variation of work on the page.

It did not take long for the page to fill up, and by the time Logan was reaching the 130s their pens were crowding in on each other, fighting over the last few square inches of white paper.

Suddenly, there was a cold, wet swipe on Logan’s hand. With a slight delay, they all realised Virgil had mistakenly drawn over Logan’s hand rather than the paper. The pink pen clattered to the floor as Virgil recoiled from Logan, looking at him anxiously.

‘It’s alright, Virgil,’ Logan hastened to reassure him. ‘It’s only a bit of ink. No cause for worry.’

A mischievous giggle sounded from his other side and another cold tip tickled across his skin, this time on his forearm.

Logan looked over in surprise to see a red crown drawn on his arm. His gaze flitted up to Roman’s challenging smirk. If Roman were an adult at that moment, Logan might have accepted the challenge, but this was a child he was dealing with. He could contain his competitive nature if only to prove he would not sink to such silliness.

‘Highly amusing,’ Logan said, trying to get the right balance of playfulness and sternness in his tone, ‘but we should probably stick to drawing on the -’

He was silenced by a quiet giggle and yet another tickle on his opposite forearm. Virgil was scribbling on his arm happily now. Before Logan could close his gaping mouth, Roman was laughing boisterously and drawing on his arm again.

Logan’s gaze darted between the two impish boys helplessly for a few seconds. Then he raised his pen and said very seriously:

‘You both have made a grave mistake.’

oOo

Patton lifted the wooden spoon to his lips to taste his sauce and smiled at the burst of flavour. Perfect.

He dropped the spoon to the counter and turned off the stovetop. After closing the lid on the saucepan to keep it warm, he checked on the vegetables in the oven. Just a few more minutes and they would be done. Perhaps he could risk just a little bit of playtime with his boys while he waited. He rinsed his hands in the sink then started making his way to the living room, excited to see his family again even if he had only been gone for half an hour.

As he traipsed through the hallway, echoes of laughter became audible and grew louder with every step. Once Patton reached the closed living room door, he almost had to cover his ears from the squeals and joyous shouts that came from inside. He eased the door open silently, not wanting to disturb the fun before he got a chance to observe what exactly had them all so hysterical.

As soon as he poked his head around the door, a wide smile stretched his lips.

Heaped onto the carpet were three writhing bodies; Logan was at the bottom of the pile, his back propped against the front of the couch and his legs splayed out on the floor. They were trying to buck off Roman, who sat on Logan's knees and scribbled a pen over his shins, exposed by his rolled-up pant legs. Then there was Virgil, laid across Logan’s lap and wriggling around as Logan bunched up his sweater and scribbled a pen over his tummy. Virgil was doing his best to retaliate by drawing on Logan’s rosy cheeks, but he was flailing so much from the ticklish scribbling that he could not do much besides giggle and squirm. They were all laughing uncontrollably, gasping for breath as they wrestled playfully with one another.

Patton could hardly believe his eyes and hurriedly took out his phone to snap some pictures so that he would have proof later. The others were so absorbed in their play-fight that they did not notice his presence until Patton put his phone away and finally allowed himself to burst into goofy chuckles along with them.

They slowly seemed to notice the extra set of laughter and ceased their attacks to look over at him. Roman was beaming, appearing delighted that Patton had joined them. Virgil looked shy and curled close to Logan in search of comfort, though Patton could see his dimples and knew he was still smiling behind his pacifier. Logan had completely frozen, his smile dropping from his face within seconds and looking like a deer caught in headlights.

The logical side was so stunned that he startled when Virgil drew a heart on his cheek, evidently taking advantage of Logan’s obliviousness. The sensation shook Logan from his stupor and he looked down at the little in his arms and offered a playful mock glare. When Virgil giggled in response, Logan finally looked back to Patton.

‘They started it,’ he stated very seriously, contrasting the flush on his face.

Roman made a noise of offence and immediately started scribbling on Logan’s leg again. The logical side seemed uncomfortable to continue with Patton in the room, though.

‘That is enough now,’ Logan said. ‘I believe it must be dinnertime given your Dad’s appearance.’ Logan looked up at Patton almost pleadingly and Patton gave him the benefit of the doubt.

‘He’s right, kiddos, time to wash up before dinner!' Patton instructed the children.

Roman groaned loudly and collapsed on the floor by Logan's legs, his prolonged whine becoming muffled by the carpet. Virgil was far more cooperative and held his hands up for Patton to lift him.

Patton complied happily, grasping his arms and hoisting Virgil up to stand. As soon as he was upright, Patton pressed a kiss to his nose. The shorter side made a small sound of surprise.

Logan stood soon after, brushing off wrinkles from his pants. Roman still lay face-down on the floor.

'Come on, little prince,' Patton said. ‘Aren’t you hungry?’

'No,' Roman said stubbornly.

'Playtime is over, Roman, it's dinnertime now,' Logan stated.

'I don't need dinner!'

‘Falsehood.’

'Oh well, I guess Roman won't be coming,' Patton said loudly. Virgil made a noise of worry but Patton stroked his hair gently and winked over at Logan’s concerned look. 'It's a shame... I need a big boy who will help my baby wash his hands. Guess I'll just have to find another brave, handsome prince to help.'

Roman leapt up so fast Patton worried he would collapse from head-rush.

'I can do it, Dad!' he volunteered enthusiastically.

'Oh, thank you, sweetheart!' Patton grinned. He looked to Logan then nodded at Roman pointedly. The logical side nodded, getting the hint.

'Very chivalrous of you, Roman,' Logan praised.

Roman preened at the attention then reached out his hand to Virgil with a bow.

'I shall protect you with my life, young one.'

Virgil slowly reached out and held onto Roman's offered hand but looked up at Patton nervously.

‘I’m going to be right behind you, sweetie,’ Patton said. ‘I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.’

Virgil nodded and, led by Roman, the two toddled into the hallway.

As Logan tried to make his way past him to leave the room, Patton couldn’t help himself from giggling.

'So... They started it, huh?' Patton asked.

Logan paused in his path and fidgeted with his tie, straightening it where it had been misplaced by their play-fight.

‘Yes, well,’ he cleared his throat, ‘childish behaviour is to be expected of them.’

‘And it’s fun to join in,’ Patton added with a knowing smile. ‘Just because we’re the grown-ups doesn’t mean we can’t be playful too, Logan. I’m glad you’re having fun with them.’

Logan blushed though Patton saw a smile work its way onto his lips.

‘It is… invigorating,’ Logan said monotonously, then added with a concealed chuckle, ‘and they are quite endearing.’

‘Aren’t they?’ Patton agreed enthusiastically. He desperately wanted to add that Logan too was endearing in his own right, but something stopped him. Not because he didn’t truly believe it, but because he was frightened of Logan realising just how sincere the thought was.

Logan’s mouth opened and closed in quick succession. Then he seemed to abandon his train of thought with a shy smile. It made Patton feel dizzy.

‘Dinner?’

‘Oh, right,’ Patton shook his head lightly. ‘Forgot,’ he breathed through an awkward laugh.

Patton turned and made his way through the hallway in the direction of the kitchen with Logan close behind. He had a sudden thought, pausing by the bathroom door and gesturing for Logan to go through to the kitchen without him.

As he stood outside the bathroom he heard Roman explaining to Virgil that he had to wait for the water to get warm but not too hot and that he would check it for him so the baby doesn't hurt himself. Patton's heart swelled. He wondered when Roman had gotten so protective of Virgil, but didn’t care to question it at all. It was positively adorable.

He knocked on the bathroom door then eased it open when Roman called him in.

Roman's hand was stuck under the running tap, his t-shirt getting splashed slightly in the process. Virgil waited patiently behind him, still clutching onto his other hand.

‘Sweethearts, can you please use the potty before dinner too?’ Patton asked. ‘You both haven't been since you were big.'

'Okay, Dad,' Roman shrugged.

'Good boys,' Patton smiled then left for the kitchen.

Just as he and Logan served up the dishes, Roman and Virgil rushed into the kitchen. Well, Roman rushed in, Virgil was dragged behind him quite clumsily. Patton instantly noted the tension in the younger side’s shoulders.

'Are you alright, Vee?' Patton frowned.

‘He was too embarrassed to go potty,' Roman said, pointing at him.

Virgil's cheeks flushed and he ducked his head.

‘We don't point, Roman,’ Logan reprimanded.

‘Oh, sorry,’ Roman muttered, lowering his hand.

'It’s alright, sweetie,' Patton said, then turned his attention to the anxious side. He moved over to rub gently at Virgil’s shoulders, willing him to relax them. 'You didn't wanna go with Roman in the room?'

Virgil shook his head quickly.

'Okay, can you go alone for me?'

Virgil's head shook even faster.

Patton frowned and looked up to Logan for help.

'Virgil, can you tell us why you won’t go to the bathroom alone if not with Roman?' Logan asked calmly.

Virgil just whimpered and buried his head against Patton's shoulder. Patton instinctively petted his hair in comfort.

'Don't worry, baby. Come here,' Patton whispered.

He led Virgil by the hand back to the bathroom, noting how Virgil’s grip tightened as they drew closer. They stopped in front of the door and Virgil ducked behind Patton as if hiding from it. Patton would have thought it cute if it weren’t concerning him.

'Are you too scared to go in on your own?' he asked quietly, knowing Virgil would be more embarrassed if everyone could hear them.

Virgil nodded against his back. Patton slowly turned so that he could see Virgil’s reaction, though made sure his body still blocked his view of the bathroom as Virgil wanted.

'Okay, do you want Papa to come with you?'

Virgil's cheeks turned pink and he shook his head.

Patton felt lost on what to do but could see the whole ordeal was causing Virgil some distress, so he decided to drop it for now. If he needed the bathroom after dinner they could address the issue again. He probably just didn’t need it.

‘Alright, sweetheart, you don’t need to,’ Patton brushed his cheek lightly. ‘Shall we go have our dinner?’

Virgil visibly perked up and nodded his agreement, so Patton led them back to the kitchen where Logan had laid everyone’s plates out.

oOo

Dinner passed by easily, with excited chatter about what they had been up to that afternoon - mostly with Roman speaking on both his and Virgil’s behalf.

After they had eaten, Logan went to have a quick shower to wash off the pen ink and, after a lot of bargaining, Patton finally got the boys to agree they too would bathe, but later. Virgil was too young to bathe alone but also too self-conscious to let Patton bathe him. It was clear he wanted to wait until he was grown-up again, so Patton didn’t push the matter with him. The majority of his careful persuasion was directed at Roman, who did not have any issue with bathing alone (since he could come out of his littlespace voluntarily, unlike Virgil) but was simply stubborn. Eventually, he agreed to wash, though only if he could watch an episode of Steven Universe first. Patton didn’t necessarily mind the compromise.

After Logan got back from his shower, Patton and the littles had already watched one episode of the cartoon. As soon as Logan had entered the living room, Roman darted off to take his shower at light speed. He hurried back within minutes, his hair dripping wet, not wanting to miss any more of the show. Patton chuckled to himself at Roman’s dishevelled appearance, his pyjamas ruffled having been shoved on in a hurry. He would never have let anyone see him like that if he were his usual adult self.

Soon, all four of them were settled into the comfy atmosphere as the third episode started up. Patton and Logan both sat in the middle of the couch. There was barely any space between them, though they didn’t acknowledge it aloud. Meanwhile, Roman and Virgil sat cross-legged on the carpet gazing up at the screen.

They seemed to be enjoying the show far more in their younger mindsets: Roman was bouncing lightly and reciting lines along with the characters animatedly. Virgil was much more subdued, though Patton noticed he had been swaying gently from side to side for the past couple of episodes. He was sure it was a sign Virgil was relaxed and enjoying the cartoon.

Patton slowly began to feel the exhaustion seep into his body, suddenly aware of the fact that he hadn’t had much opportunity to relax that day. He truly didn’t mind that Roman and Virgil were somewhat demanding when little, he enjoyed being there for them. But his head felt heavy and, without a moment to reconsider, he let it drop gently to Logan’s shoulder.

He waited with bated breath to see if Logan would protest but was pleasantly surprised when Logan’s arm very gently curled around his back. He smiled and tried not to squeak with the bubble of excitement in his chest.

A few more minutes passed in peace, and Patton wasn’t sure when but his eyes had fallen shut. It was not often the house felt so tranquil.

Then, out of nowhere, Virgil gasped. Patton’s eyes shot open to watch Virgil clumsily jump onto his feet and bolt out of the room without a word. His pacifier tumbled to the ground where he had been sitting just a second ago.

The other three were shocked into silence for a moment.

‘Huh?’ Roman frowned back at his caregivers, his eyes noticeably settling on Patton and Logan’s cuddling. Patton unwrapped himself from Logan with a faint blush, though any embarrassment was far overwhelmed by concern for Virgil.

‘Was there a monster on the show?’ Patton asked.

‘Not at all,’ Logan said, sounding just as bewildered as the other two.

‘I’m going to check on him,’ Patton said as he jumped up and followed after the younger side without hesitation.

He jogged along the hallway with a heavy feeling in his chest, mind racing with worry. The house suddenly felt bigger than usual. When he rounded a corner, his heart stuttered at what he saw.

Virgil was facing away from him, doubled over in the middle of the hallway. From the back of him, it looked as if he was in pain and clutching his stomach.

Patton rushed over to his side in panic.

'Baby, are you okay? What’s -'

He cut himself off when he realised what was happening. Virgil's eyes were wide with fear, his knees trembling, his hands covering his crotch. They failed to conceal the large wet patch that was quickly spreading on his jeans.

'Oh, sweetheart,' Patton cooed sympathetically, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Virgil only just seemed to notice Patton's presence and he startled then quickly ducked his head in shame. His shoulders shook as a puddle gradually formed at his feet.

'It's okay, baby,' Patton whispered, rubbing his hand over Virgil's back. He gently shushed Virgil’s sniffles for a few moments as the boy’s pants and socks quickly became sodden. When the puddle on the floor finally stopped spreading, only a couple of seconds passed before a hoarse sob bounced off the walls.

‘Honey, it’s alright, I promise,’ Patton desperately reassured him.

He wrapped him in a tight hug and Virgil’s hands immediately clutched at the back of Patton’s shirt. The anxious sighed cried into his chest and the sound broke Patton’s heart.

‘It’s just an accident.’ He kissed Virgil’s head. ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart.’

Logan’s head suddenly popped around the corner a few feet away, clearly having heard some of the commotion. Patton watched silently as Logan’s eyes fell to the floor and the realisation quickly dawned on him. When he looked up from Virgil’s predicament with a concerned glance, Patton shook his head at him very lightly, not wanting Virgil to feel the movement. He didn’t want to see Virgil even more upset knowing that Logan had been witness to his accident too.

‘Mama is keeping Roman busy in the living room,’ Patton said over Virgil’s head with a pointed look at Logan, ‘and I’m gonna give you a warm bubble bath. Doesn’t that sound nice, baby?’

Logan tiptoed back to the living room without a word.

Unaware of Logan’s brief appearance, Virgil spluttered a little on his tears, the sound muffled against Patton’s shirt. It wasn’t an agreement, but it also wasn’t a denial so Patton took the small victory.

He eased Virgil out of his hold, holding him at an arm’s length as he wiped away his tears. It was pointless, though, as they just continued to fall with Virgil’s shaky breaths. Patton wished he could hold his baby until he stopped crying but he didn’t want Virgil’s skin getting irritated by his wet clothes. Plus, he was sure the poor boy wouldn’t want to be stood in his accident for longer than necessary.

‘Let’s go get you cleaned up,’ Patton smiled softly at him.

He wrapped his arm around Virgil’s shoulders to guide him towards the stairs, silently twirling his pointer finger behind his back. The carpet cleaned itself magically behind them.

Once they had reached Virgil’s bedroom, Patton left Virgil standing by the door while he speedily picked out a pair of underwear and pyjamas for him. He heard Virgil’s soft whimpers and sniffles grow louder and more frequent when he stepped away from him, so he was sure to make quick work of it before his absence upset Virgil any more.

He hurried back to Virgil’s side with the clothes and kissed his forehead tenderly.

‘Good boy, you’re so brave,’ Patton praised. He was forced off of Virgil by a firm head shake.

‘Bad,’ Virgil choked and hid his face in his hands.

Patton’s heart ached.

‘You’re not bad, little one,’ he said, crouching slightly so they were level. ‘It’s not your fault. I should have gotten you to go to the toilet earlier. I’m sorry, baby.’

Virgil shook his head again but didn’t offer any words. Patton assumed he had been pushed into a younger headspace and had gone non-verbal.

He led Virgil to the upstairs bathroom slowly, being careful with each step and rubbing his back soothingly the whole time. When they had reached the door, Virgil’s posture suddenly righted itself and he looked at Patton through his bangs. The older side was shocked to see a strange, distant look in his mismatched eyes.

‘I’m, um,’ Virgil’s voice was still slightly babyish, though there was a forced deepness to it. He quickly cleared his throat and took a deep breath, completely avoiding Patton’s eyes. ‘I-I’m older now. I can do this on my own.’

To say Patton was surprised would have been a severe understatement. Virgil never came out of his headspace so suddenly; even when he had made an effort to end his regression prematurely in the past, Virgil could pretend to be an adult all he wanted but it had been too clear that he was still mentally a child. Right now, he didn’t necessarily sound regressed but there was something wrong about it that Patton couldn’t quite pinpoint.

‘But - Kiddo, are you sure?’ Patton tried not to sound upset, though it was harder to keep the confusion from his voice. ‘You seem a bit off, Stormcloud.’

‘It’s Virgil,’ the anxious side grumbled, then grimaced at his tone. ‘I-I’m sorry, Papa… Patton . Thank you for helping, but…’ He held his arms out for his clothes, still looking at the floor. His hands were shaking.

Patton wordlessly handed the pile of clothes over, not knowing what else to do. He watched dejectedly as Virgil rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut without another word. The lock clicked instantly and Patton took a deep breath before turning away.

As the sound of water running started in the bathroom, Patton wandered through the hallway and into the living room, feeling disturbed by the interaction.

‘Patton, you can’t leave a toddler to bathe alone,’ Logan sounded mildly panicked.

He was sitting on the couch with Roman on the headrest behind him, braiding his hair.

‘He’s not regressed anymore,’ Patton said. Logan looked just as shocked as Patton felt.

‘He’s… But that never happens,’ Logan said, frowning.

Patton didn’t know what else to do except collapse wordlessly onto the couch beside him. He rested his head on Logan’s shoulder with a small sigh.

It wasn’t that he loved Virgil any less when he was an adult - he loved all versions of Virgil equally - but it felt unnatural for the boy to switch between headspaces so suddenly. It must have had something to do with the accident, but if anything Patton would have expected it to push Virgil further into his regressed mindset, not tear him out of it.

‘Is Virgil okay?’ Roman questioned.

‘Of course!’ Patton said in his usual bubbly voice, not believing his own words. ‘He’s just showering. Don’t you worry, little prince.’

‘But I heard crying before. What happened?’ Roman shuffled down from the back of the couch, sitting on the armrest and frowning over at both of them. When neither caregiver responded, Roman sighed. ‘I’m a grown-up now, you can tell me.’

‘Uh,’ Patton stumbled, pushing his face further against Logan’s shoulder as if he could hide from the question.

‘Nothing for you to concern yourself with,’ Logan said easily.

Roman huffed indignantly as he pushed himself off of the armrest and stomped across the room. He flopped into the armchair on the opposite side of the couch, pointedly facing away from Logan with his arms crossed. Patton couldn’t conceal his amused smile. Roman obviously wasn’t as grown-up as he claimed to be.

‘I care about him too,’ Roman mumbled. The pout in his voice was audible.

‘We know you do, kiddo,’ Patton reassured him. He felt guilty for making Roman upset, though he knew it was not a good idea to tell the creative side about what had happened. ‘You’re such a good big brother. It’s just… not polite for us to talk about Virgil without him knowing.’

Roman turned his body to squint suspiciously at them. After a moment, he seemed satisfied and smiled.

‘Okay. Do you like Mom’s hair?’ he asked excitedly.

Shaking off the brief shock from the sudden change in subject, Patton lifted his head from Logan’s shoulder to look at Roman’s handiwork. A braid circled the crown of Logan’s head, intertwined with a few daisies from the backyard.

‘Aww, how beautiful,’ Patton gushed.

He raised his hand to stroke along the strands of hair, twirling some loose tendrils around his fingertips. He wanted to comment on how soft Logan’s hair was but paused when he saw Logan’s shoulders were tense.

‘S-sorry,’ he quickly dropped his hand. ‘Should’ve asked to -’

‘No! No, it’s,’ Logan cleared his throat. Patton swore he could see a faint pink dusting his cheekbones. Logan’s lips twitched into a small smile as he briefly met Patton’s eyes before looking away again. ‘It is… acceptable.’

Patton dropped his head back to Logan’s shoulder, hiding his own blush. He didn’t miss the smug smirk on Roman’s face before he closed his eyes, pretending to take a nap.

A few minutes passed by with only the sound of Steven Universe playing on the TV, supplemented by Roman singing along with a musical number. After the ending credits song, Patton heard the TV click off followed by Roman’s whining protest.

‘We can watch more tomorrow,’ Logan’s voice rumbled through his chest and Patton breathed deeply with the comfort of it. ‘It’s nine o’clock so that means no more screens.’

‘Fine,’ Roman sighed, but Patton knew he wasn’t nearly as put out as he was trying to sound. ‘Can we listen to a book?’

Patton opened his eyes with a smile. It had become an almost nightly ritual for all members of the family to sit together and listen to an audiobook to wind down before bed.

‘Of course,’ Logan said. Patton loved the way Roman’s face brightened.

‘Yay! Ooh, can we have Paddington Bear? No, Winnie-the-Pooh! Oh, wait, wait, wait,’ Roman yelled, clearly getting bombarded by more ideas.

‘Hold on, kiddo,’ Patton laughed, ‘how about we ask Virgil to choose between those two? Then you both made the decision together.’

‘Yeah!’ Roman clapped his hands in excitement then something caught his eye outside the open door. ‘Virge, you’re back! You gotta help me pick a book!’

Patton heard a shuffling outside the room and lifted his head from Logan’s shoulder so he could hear better.

‘Oh, really?’ Virgil’s voice sounded soft and wobbly. ‘Uh, a-actually I’m suddenly tired. So, I-I’m probably gonna…’

‘Oh,’ Roman’s face dropped and his eyes followed what Patton assumed was a retreating Virgil. Roman turned a sorrowful look back on his caregivers. ‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘I’m not sure,’ Patton said honestly, just as confused.

He felt Logan nudge his shoulder and he looked to him in question.

‘I’ll talk to him,’ Logan said.

‘Thank you,’ Patton whispered and shifted to allow Logan to get up.

Logan offered a firm nod then quickly rose to go and follow Virgil.

Watching him leave the room, Patton sighed and hoped Logan would be able to figure out what was going on with Virgil better than he could. For now, Patton just focussed on getting that kicked puppy look off of Roman’s face.

‘How about we get some hot cocoa before your Mom can tell us off about it?’

oOo

Logan walked up to Virgil’s door and knocked gently.

‘Virgil? May I speak to you?’

He spoke quieter than usual, certain that Virgil would likely be in a state of distress from the incident in the hallway. There was a moment of silence before he heard a reply.

‘Yeah, sure,’ Virgil called through the door. His voice was distinctly uneven.

Logan heard a faint sniffling as he pushed the door open and was unsurprised to see Virgil sitting cross-legged on the floor in his softest pyjamas. Minty, his Triceratops plush, was clutched tightly to his chest. As Logan had theorised, Virgil did not look as grown-up as he had had Patton believe.

Logan closed the door behind him gently and lowered himself to kneel on the carpet a few feet in front of Virgil. He thought it was best to leave some space between them so that Virgil did not feel threatened in any way.

‘Patton tells me you’re not regressed anymore,’ Logan said. His doubt must have been obvious in his tone because Virgil immediately bit his lip and looked down to his lap. ‘Is this true?’

‘Dunno,’ Virgil whispered into Minty’s green fur. His voice was minuscule and Logan sighed.

‘Is this because of your accident?’

Virgil’s eyes went wide and welled up, his lip wobbling dangerously. It was all too obvious that he was in no position to have an adult conversation.

‘I don’t think you are grown-up, are you?’ Logan tutted gently. ‘How old are you right now, Virgil?’

The anxious side’s face crumpled and he hid behind his toy with a whimper. Logan quickly moved to kneel beside him, knowing he needed physical comfort.

‘No one is upset with you, I promise,’ Logan said, keeping his tone soft and quiet so as not to overwhelm him. He placed a comforting hand on the side of Virgil’s head and the younger side immediately leaned into the touch. ‘I know you wouldn’t lie to your Papa on purpose. You were just a little confused earlier, weren’t you?’

Virgil nodded into his toy.

‘Can you please tell Mama how old you are?’ Logan asked in his most baby-friendly voice.

Virgil slowly dropped the soft toy, looking up at Logan hesitantly. Eventually, he held up two fingers.

‘Only two? That is quite young,’ Logan said. He smiled encouragingly at Virgil and was happy to see the worry fade away from his gaze. ‘Much too young to be on your own. Do you want to come to listen to a book with me, your Papa, and your big brother?’

Virgil nodded and was millimetres away from sucking on his thumb before Logan quickly intercepted it.

‘Let’s get a pacifier for the baby,’ Logan said.

He patted Virgil’s hand then reached for the soft toy by their legs. He located the zipper sewn into the dinosaur’s back and opened the hidden pocket that was filled with various pacifiers. He held it open in front of Virgil for him to pick, and after a few seconds of deliberation, Virgil pointed to one. Logan took it out and held it in front of him.

‘Can you tell Mama what colour this is, Vee?’ he asked.

When Virgil was regressed, Logan liked to test him on simple questions such as this for several reasons: Firstly, it helped to establish a fun, educational atmosphere that Logan thought would be beneficial to his mental wellbeing. Secondly, it helped Logan to gather a clear idea of Virgil’s mental age at the time going by his speech and knowledge of certain things, proving beneficial to Logan’s understanding of Virgil’s regression. Lastly, it encouraged Virgil to communicate with him, which Logan hoped would be beneficial to their relationship.

‘Boo,’ Virgil muttered with a tiny smile.

‘That’s right, blue.’ Logan smiled back at him, knowing from experience it was an exercise in futility to try to correct his pronunciation.

He popped the pacifier in Virgil’s mouth without any fuss, then placed Minty back on the floor gently.

‘Light blue is your Papa’s favourite colour,’ Logan said. ‘Shall we go and show it to him?’

Virgil nodded and held onto Logan’s hand preemptively. Logan slowly rose from the floor and helped Virgil to do the same. He started to lead the way to the door but was stopped by Virgil tugging back on his hand and whining a little. Logan turned back in concern.

‘Is there a problem?’ he asked, then saw how Virgil’s gaze was fixed on the pile of stuffed animals on his bed. ‘Oh, I see,’ Logan said and walked them over to the heap of soft toys. ‘Can you choose a friend to come and listen to a book with us, Virgil?’

Virgil reached for his black cat plush and held it to his face with a smile, stroking the fur against his cheek.

‘Glad you could join us, Jiji,’ Logan greeted the toy and smiled when Virgil gasped.

Logan never made it obvious that he knew every single one of Virgil and Roman’s toys’ names. It amused him when they were shocked to hear him remember them so he kept up the pretence just to enjoy their endearing sounds of surprise.

Logan led both Virgil and Jiji back to the living room with a light heart.

‘Look who’s back,’ Logan announced as they stepped into the room and saw Virgil blush at the attention, hiding his face against Logan’s arm.

‘Aw, yay!’ Patton smiled brightly. ‘I missed my baby.’

Virgil looked up at Patton then pointed wordlessly to his pacifier. Logan saw a flash of confusion briefly cross Patton’s features.

‘Yes, that’s you,’ Patton said, obviously trying to guess at what Virgil was indicating.

‘Virgil picked his pacifier all by himself,’ Logan supplied with a surreptitious eyebrow raise. ‘Do you like the colour?’

‘Oh, yes!’ Patton said, suddenly understanding what Virgil had wanted to show him. ‘That’s my favourite colour, baby. It’s so pretty!’

Logan felt Virgil fidget under the praise. He shared a fond, amused smile with Patton.

‘Vee, you gotta choose between the two bestest bears ever!’ Roman yelled, all but bouncing in his seat.

‘Yes…’ Logan said but frowned at the high energy in the boy. He had not been so excitable when Logan left, so the logical side grew suspicious of what had caused the change.

Sure enough, his eyes landed on the chocolate coated rim of the Mickey Mouse mug in Roman’s hands. He gasped and shot a reprimanding look over to Patton. The moral side sunk into the couch looking as guilty as ever.

‘Patton, this is the time to wind down, not the time to consume sugar!’

‘But I made some for all of us, Lo,’ Patton countered. He indicated the coffee table where Logan’s NASA mug, Patton’s frog mug, and Virgil’s Jack Skellington mug all sat steaming, filling the air with the rich scent of chocolate. ‘Plus hot cocoa is technically warm milk, so it’s perfect for nighttime.’

Logan felt his reserve breaking when he realised how considerate it was that Patton had made some for everyone, but he remained steely. That is until Patton added with a sly smile:

‘I added a shot of hazelnut syrup to your one.’

Logan pretended to think it over for a few seconds.

‘Alright, I yield.’ He led Virgil over to the couch, encouraging him to sit beside Patton. ‘But Roman really should not be given dairy.’

‘Almond milk,’ Patton corrected with a victorious smile, accepting Virgil into his arms.

‘And Virgil is too young to drink from a mug,’ Logan added.

‘No prob, Bob,’ Roman cut in. He snapped his fingers and the Jack Skellington mug promptly transformed into a baby bottle.

‘Thank you, little prince,’ Logan said. He made sure to pay Roman due attention, knowing how important it was for Roman’s headspace to show that Virgil was not the only one who needed taking care of. ‘Where would you like me to sit?’

Roman’s eyes widened, apparently delighted that he was given such an important decision.

‘Over there,’ Roman pointed to the corner of the couch furthest from Patton. ‘Then I’m gonna sit next to you and Vee!’

Virgil hummed in content from his place beside Patton and nuzzled his face against his papa’s chest.

‘A very good choice,’ Logan said.

Before sitting down he moved over to the coffee table. He handed Patton the baby bottle and moved the frog mug to the corner of the table so it was within Patton’s reach. He nodded when Patton thanked him and grabbed his own mug, moving back to the couch to settle in the corner seat. Roman had already made himself comfortable, his mug empty and abandoned on the floor.

‘What will it be, Virgil?’ Logan asked. ‘A marmalade-obsessed bear from Peru, or a honey-obsessed bear from England?’ He took a sip from his mug and struggled to contain a smile at the warmth that radiated through his chest.

‘Nunny,’ Virgil mumbled through his pacifier.

Patton made an inhuman squeal of affection.

‘Honey,’ Logan echoed, unable to hide his smile now. It was undeniably adorable how Virgil’s speech was impeded by his regression. ‘Are we all ready for Winnie-the-Pooh?’

At the two shouted confirmations from Patton and Roman, Logan pulled out his phone to set up the bluetooth speaker. Within moments Stephen Fry’s voice filled the room with tales from the Hundred Acre Wood.

Roman clumsily wriggled his head under Logan’s arm to force it around his shoulders. Logan sniffed in amusement but acquiesced.

‘Do you want to hold the bottle yourself or do you want me to help you, sweetie?’ Logan heard Patton whispering during the introduction.

He looked over just in time to see Virgil pull Jiji up to hide his face. Patton’s eyes lit up and he giggled quietly.

‘Don’t be shy, baby. Papa’s here to take care of you.’

Patton gently took the pacifier from Virgil’s mouth and placed it on the armrest. Then he pulled Virgil onto his lap and held the bottle up to his lips. It was almost hypnotic seeing how quickly Virgil relaxed into Patton’s embrace, suckling rhythmically at the bottle. His eyes had fallen shut within seconds and a look of pure contentment settled over him.

Roman laughed at a part in the story and Patton looked up at the cheerful sound. He caught Logan watching Virgil and they exchanged soft smiles before Logan looked away again. Roman’s head fell onto his shoulder and Logan closed his eyes in contentment. He leaned back against the headrest, letting the sounds of the room blend into one calming symphony; Virgil’s suckling, Patton’s cooing, Roman’s giggling, and the narration sending him into a blissful sleep.

oOo

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#ts agere #sanders sides agere #agere virgil #cg patton #cg logan #ts agere fic #little/big series #little accidents big developments #little/big series fics #agedre roman

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falseroar · 6 years ago

Text

Small Problem

((Hi! I thought about starting something else today, but it seemed a little too, well, Dark for April Fool’s Day. Instead, here’s a silly one shot fic! It does make a few references another fic of mine, A Little Magic, but I don’t think it’s necessary to have read that one to get what’s going on.))

“Uh, thank you, Jim?” you said, unable to hide your confusion as the Jims leaned over the table in front of you, both waiting to see your reaction.

“It’s the next breaking story, you’ll see!” Jim said, as Jim nodded behind him.

“I’m sure it is, but why is it on VHS?” you asked, holding up the tape with a peeling label where the title had been written by some Jim in thick black marker, splattered with what looked suspiciously like bloodstains.

“Everyone knows that tape is the gold standard for high-fidelity, high-quality, high-spooky recordings.” Another nod from the Jim in back, confirming this.

“I’ve seen your camera, it doesn’t even use tape.”

“Yeah, took Jim forever to figure out how to do the transfer, but you just can’t pass up on that grainy, improperly focused good stuff.”

“Do we even have a VCR in the house?”

Jim looked at Jim, who shrugged.

“…Give us a minute.”

The Jims had cornered you right after a meeting with the egos who had studio time this week, where you tried to explain to Bing why trying to do a flip over Bim Trimmer’s chiranhas on his skateboard would be a very bad idea, considering even just doing an ice bucket challenge was enough to make him short-circuit, while Randal tried and failed to convince Eric that the pigeons for his skit were not out to get him. So pretty normal for one of these weekly meetings.

You watched through the glass walls of the conference room as the Jims ran down the hall in what looked suspiciously like the direction of the Host’s studio before you leaned back in your chair and closed your eyes. Maybe you could enjoy a minute or two of peace before they got back.

“Y/N! Good, you’re not busy!”

Marvin blinked behind his white cat mask as, with a yelp, you went toppling over backwards in your chair and disappeared for a moment behind the table.

“Uh, bad time?” he asked, his smile weakening when he saw your expression.

“I just got out of a meeting with some of the Iplier egos,” you said, noting the wisps of magic from Marvin’s teleportation spell fading around his feet. “Can’t you call or something before you pop in like that?”

“Sorry, but this is really—” Marvin paused and looked around. “Wait, just you? Doesn’t Mark usually sit in on this kind of stuff?”

“When he can, but he’s busy with his own project right now, and Wilford…” You paused and Marvin nodded. Wilford didn’t care so much about the little details, and when he did get involved the meetings tended to go in a…different kind of direction. Which somehow left you as the person to figure all of this madness out, when you could. And as much work as it could be some days, you found there was something satisfying about helping the egos create their own content. That didn’t change the exhaustion in your voice any as you asked, “So you need help with something?”

“Yes, this is really important,” Marvin said, and with a flourish he pulled a deck of cards from his pocket and fanned them across the table. “Pick a card, any card.”

“Oh, no, not this again.”

“Please, I think I’ve definitely got it this time!”

“Marvin, you can do real magic, why do you care so much about figuring out how to do some card trick?”

Marvin thumped the table with his hand, eyes flashing behind his mask. “It’s the principle of the thing, Y/N, and I may have made a bet with Jackie—”

He stopped midsentence as both of the tv monitors on either end of the conference room crackled with static, their speakers squealing briefly from feedback before falling into a gentle, vibrating hum. You saw the panic in his eyes, the way his whole body tensed at the sound, only to spin around as the door to the room cracked open, one hand outstretched as words poured out of his mouth, the other braced in front of you.

The wave of magic flooded over you but hit the man at the door straight in the chest, sending him stumbling backward into the wall where he slid down to the ground, and then further down still.

By the time Marvin realized his mistake, the spell was done. He stood there, frozen in the same pose, while you got up and walked over to where Dark lay on the ground.

“Marvin…?” you said, only to be answered by a weak squeak from behind you. “You didn’t just…”

“It was reflex,” he said, his voice high and shrill as he tried and failed to regain his composure.

You knelt down in front of Dark, who was blinking and shaking his head as if to clear it.

“What—” Dark started but the sound stopped in his throat as he looked up and realized how you and the rest of the room towered over him. There was a sharp ring as his aura lashed out, but it was so high-pitched that it was almost hard to hear. “What did you do?!”

“Just a shrinking spell,” Marvin said. Despite Dark’s diminutive size, the magician didn’t seem eager to come any closer. “It was an accident, I swear.”

You looked over your shoulder at Marvin as you said, “I thought the spell took longer than that. And why was that the first thing to come to mind?”

“I may have been practicing it recently,” Marvin answered, and he coughed and looked away when he saw your accusing glare.

“But he knows how to undo it,” you said to Dark when you saw the look on his face. “Right Marvin?”

“I…might have used the timer one,” Marvin said. “Don’t give me that look! It’s the first way I learned it, that kind of thing sticks.”

“So how long will this last?” Dark asked, cold fury dripping from every word as he did not look away from the ego.

“Not long enough,” Marvin muttered, glancing at the clock on the wall as he did so.

Dark’s aura was spreading now, leaving afterimages in his wake that almost doubled his size, for all the good that did.

“Look, Dark,” you started, hoping to try and calm the situation before the spell ended, but before you could finish the sentence you saw his aura suddenly shrink in to a bare outline as he looked away from Marvin for the first time.

Following his gaze, you acted out of instinct, catching Dark up in one hand and hiding him behind your back just seconds before Wilford Warfstache barreled in through the open conference room door.

“Good evening!” He grinned around the room and paused. “I didn’t miss something, did I?”

“Uh…” You were distracted, feeling Dark squirm in your hand as his aura spread up to your wrist, the freezing pressure tight enough to start cutting off the circulation to your fingers.

“I, was just, um, showing Y/N a card trick?” Marvin said, but Wilford looked around the room again before focusing in on you.

“Ooo, someone’s hiding something!” Without seeming to cross any of the space in between he was suddenly behind you and had one hand on your wrist. With one neat movement he spun you around to face him so that you could see the second his eyes lit up at the sight of the tiny Dark.

“Wilford,” Dark said warningly, but when Wilford held out his other hand and gave you the “gimme” gesture, you didn’t think twice about handing him over. Your hand ached with cold from where Dark’s aura had touched you and shaking it didn’t seem to do any immediate good. “Wilford, I swear, if you even think the word ‘yeet’—”

“Aren’t you just the cutest little demon, yes you are,” Wilford cooed. “I could just kiss you!”

Dark’s protest was cut short as Wilford smooched him, and when Wilford promptly placed him on the table, he made a show of coughing on his hands and knees.

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad,” you said, trying not to grin when Wilford gave you a wink.

“I saw death,” Dark gasped. “And it looked like a giant pink mustache come to smother me.”

Wilford patted his mustache at that, but then a new grin soon appeared as he turned on Marvin. “You did this? Can you make it work on more than one person?”

“Uh, sure?” Marvin said as you shook your head furiously behind Wilford.

“Fantastic! Be right back!” Wilford charged out of the room just to reappear a second later, martini in hand. “I’ve been preparing for this moment my whole life.”

A couple of seconds later, as the hum of magic still hung heavy in the air, you said, “That really can’t be comfortable.”

“Where did he get the old timey bathing suit from?” Marvin asked as you watched the man recline in his martini glass, one arm looped around the base of a tiny paper umbrella.

“More importantly, how long does this spell last?” Dark asked.

Marvin looked up at the clock again, his lips moving as he counted silently, but he was interrupted by Wilford.

“You know who would really enjoy this?” he asked. “Old Abe, that detective knows the importance of a good drink every now and then.”

You glanced at Marvin, who looked at the clock again, calculating, before glancing at you. “You’ve got to be kidding me, there’s no way he would want to do this.”

Marvin grinned and disappeared in a burst of magic.

In the meantime, Dark paced across the surface of the table restlessly before suddenly pausing to look up at you. “You’ve seen him use this spell before?”

You opened your mouth as if to answer, but a long gap of silence followed before Marvin finally returned, Abe stumbling beside him with one hand held up to his hat to keep it in place.

“Partner?” he said when he caught sight of you. “This guy said you needed help, there was…something…”

He broke off when he spotted the tiny Dark and Wilford, the second one waving up at him from inside a martini glass.

“Marvin,” you said, but the magician was already saying the spell and you instinctively flinched as the magic hit you again, leaving a tiny detective in its place. “Marvin!”

“What the hell is going on here?” Abe asked, jumping as a surprisingly dry and back in his regular clothes Wilford suddenly appeared at his side in and threw an arm over his shoulder.

“Alcohol, my friend,” Wilford answered earnestly. “Y/N, fetch the hot cocoa and we can turn this into a real party!”

“A soon to be dead magician,” Dark answered at the same time.

“It will only last a few minutes,” was your answer, before you dragged Marvin away from the table. “What are you doing?!”

“I just…needed a little extra time?” he said slowly, as if trying to gauge your reaction. “Y/N, do you still have that card I gave you?”

Suspicious, you pulled a neat little card from your wallet, the light in the room catching gilded letters that promised one “get out of little spell” free. “…Why?”

“Just a little loose end,” Marvin said, swiping it out of your fingers despite your protest. “Don’t worry, I’ll give it back…later. Promise!”

“Ooo, and plenty of marshmallows!” Wilford was adding as if no one else had interrupted. “Come on, Y/N, this spell isn’t going to last forever!”

“I can keep an eye on them,” Marvin added.

“So we’re just going to roll with this then,” you said, and Marvin nodded eagerly. You sighed, but then again, this was basically how you dealt with everything this place threw at you. “Fine. But you know that spell’s going to wear off eventually, even if I don’t use the card.”

You left to the sound of Dark quietly and patiently describing everything he would do to the magician once he was back to normal while Marvin pulled out his cellphone and started a text message. When you returned with a tray of steaming mugs and marshmallows to the side, Marvin was focused on the clock again and seemed to be bouncing on his feet in time to the second hand.

“I wish I could say this is the weirdest thing you’ve dragged me into,” Abe said to Wilford as the pink-mustached man hugged one of the marshmallows to his chest.

“Great, have fun with that,” Marvin said before it was his turn to drag you away from the table and out of earshot of the others. “So, the timer spell. You remember how it worked, right?”

“It only affected the person for the length of time you decided on,” you answered. “How long is this supposed to last, again?”

“Okay, but do you remember the second part?”

You stared at Marvin for a moment, trying to figure out what he was getting at. “You mean when it affected JJ? But that was only because you accidentally used the spell to target two people—”

He smiled, sort of, his teeth were showing but he looked more nervous than anything as he waited for the shoe to drop.

“Don’t tell me—”

“Look, I told you, it was reflex, and you were there, and it’s just the way I learned the spell the first time, I’m still working on it—”

“How long will it last?!”

“Well, for them, about fifteen minutes each. For you…”

Marvin rarely needed to teleport less than five feet away, but he thought at this point it might be a good idea to have the table in between the two of you.

It wouldn’t have made much of a difference to you if, at that moment, you hadn’t felt a wave of dizziness as the magic took hold.

Dark, for his part, recognized when the spell began to weaken and took a running start for the edge of the table, so that at the moment he was back to normal sized he was already lunging toward Marvin, one hand on the magician’s throat as he pinned him to the glass wall.

“Any last words, magician?” Dark asked.

Marvin pointed and managed to get out the words, “Look, a tiny Y/N.”

In Dark’s momentary distraction, the magician disappeared in a green puff of smoke and you spent several seconds swearing as Abe gave you a hand up from the edge of the table. Good thing you had been leaning on it just a second before, but the drop to the ground below still felt too close as you walked closer to the middle of the table.

“Good to see you joined us,” Wilford said as he thrust a marshmallow into your arms. “Okay, now about the cocoa—”

“Well, isn’t this cute,” Dark said as he took a seat at the table and looked down at the three of you. “But if he used the same spell, you won’t be small for much longer, Wilford.”

“Right, no time to waste!” The man cried as he grabbed Abe’s hand and started to drag him toward one of the steaming mugs.

You heard a chuckle just before the tip of one of Dark’s fingers touched your back, gently, just between the shoulder blades, and his aura washed over you. When he was tiny in your hand it had felt like just a cold grip, but now it was like being wrapped in a warm gauze, stifling and heavy as he rubbed your back in a small (to him) circle.

“Perhaps the magician could be convinced to make this a little more permanent,” he said, watching with a half-smile as you staggered and then slowly relaxed under the pressure of his aura. This small, even just a tiny portion of his power was enough to completely overwhelm you, if he so desired. “So much more convenient, don’t you think?”

Dark’s words were muffled as if coming from a great distance as you just felt so relaxed, so calm, so—

And then Wilford Warfstache was suddenly his regular size right in the middle of the table, one foot digging into Dark’s chest as he squirmed around and sat up.

Wilford sighed down at the overturned mugs and said, “What a waste,” before popping a marshmallow into his mouth. “Oh, sorry, Detective. Got a little close there, huh?”

Near his hand, Abe struggled to find the words after almost being crushed by Wilford’s sudden return to size. He did, however, notice you shaking your head and backing away from Dark and said, “Y/N, you okay?”

“Aw, look at them!” Wilford reached out and, your head still fuzzy from whatever Dark had just tried to do you, you could do little to escape from his grip. Instead, you found yourself clinging to Wilford’s hand as he lifted you up to eye-level and grinned. “Only way they could be more adorable is if they were riding one of the King’s squirrels.”

“I’m definitely not doing that,” you said.

“Convince Dr. Iplier he’s suddenly become a giant?”

“Not sure how that would work, and I really don’t want anyone to see me like this,” you said, but you couldn’t imagine how it could be any worse than with these three unless Mark were here too.

Wilford considered for a moment and leaned toward Dark, using his other hand to hide his mouth as he whispered a suggestion.

“Absolutely not.” Dark’s aura rang for a second and you and Abe both had to clap your hands to your ears to block out the sound. “They are not dolls, Wilford. And perhaps you should hand Y/N to me. You are not the most…careful person.”

“Don’t be absurd!” Wilford tossed you up into the air and caught you with the same hand. “I know exactly what I’m doing.”

“Hey now, be careful with my partner,” Abe said and Dark snorted as he tried to hold back a laugh at that.

The laugh was cut short though, as the spell on Abe suddenly wore off and he was standing, regular-sized again, in the middle of the conference room table. That is, until he lost his balance and went crashing straight into Dark.

Wilford looked down at the bundle of limbs and groans from his seat on the conference room table and whistled. ��Some people just aren’t careful, huh, Y/N?”

“Please don’t toss me like that again,” you said, putting as much feeling as possible into the words as you wrapped your arms around one of his fingers.

“Hm…” His eyes seemed huge as he studied you, narrowing slightly before he broke into a smile you didn’t quite trust. “Shhh, it’s okay, Y/N. Ol’ Warfstache has got you.”

You held on tighter as he suddenly moved, swinging his legs around and jumping up to his feet before using his free hand to help the Detective up onto his feet.

“Here, hold this,” Wilford said before unceremoniously dumping you into Abe’s hands. He walked a couple of steps away before spinning around to face the three of you. “Now, how are we going to spend the rest of Y/N’s time as a little one?”

“Not throwing me.”

“Plotting the death of a certain magician,” Dark answered.

“What are those two doing here?” Abe asked, gesturing toward the other side of the glass wall with a tilt of his head as he was using both of his hands cupped together to hold you.

The Jims waved on the other side of the glass, one of them gesturing toward the device the other Jim was holding before they ran in through the door.

“We got it, Jim!” Jim said. He did a double take when he saw you in Abe’s hands and leaned toward the other Jim as he added, “Looks like we’ve got a case of magic gone wrong here, Jim. Perhaps the Detective has finally taken his partner’s life into his hands, literally?”

“Or maybe he’s finally found a partner he can keep a hold on,” Dark said, his smile growing wider in response to Abe’s scowl. “Oh, that might have been a poor choice of words. Still, perhaps it would be better if one of us held Y/N instead?”

“I think I’ll take my chances with Abe,” you said, shooting Dark a glare and failing to miss the surprise and then smile that spread across the detective’s face before you turned to the Jims. “And while I’d love to hear how you two found a VCR, I’m not sure now’s a good time to watch your tape…”

Both Jims’ faces fell in unison and Jim said, “Really? But we’ve got something really special here.”

Dark spotted the tape and flipped it over to read the title aloud. “’The Santaplier Conspiracy’?”

“Pretty sure I killed that guy,” Wilford said. “At least, I think I did? Honestly, it’s hard to keep track after a while.”

“Ignoring that,” Abe said, “I’ve got some time to kill if you guys do.”

“…I’ll admit that I’m curious,” Dark said. “These two are at least entertaining, if often wrong in every conceivable way.”

“I’ve got the popcorn!” Wilford said, holding up a massive bowl in his hands that he did not have two seconds ago.

“How do you do that?” Abe asked out of reflex, even if he had given up on getting an answer a long time ago.

The others all looked at you.

“So we’re all just going to roll with this then?” you asked aloud, but you already knew the answer to that. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”

Dark, Wilford, and Abe settled into chairs around the conference table while the Jims set up the VCR and dimmed the lights. As the TV screen flashed blue before crackling into a snowy scene, you tried to make yourself comfortable in the chest pocket of Abe’s white dress shirt. He had quietly insisted on it, sure that Dark or Wilford might try something while the two of you were distracted, and in response to the idea Wilford had just laughed and given you a wink. You wondered, not for the first time, just where Marvin had gone after he teleported away. Definitely not far enough away, as you planned to have a very long, very vocal discussion with Marvin about his magic once this spell had worked its course.

Until then, you settled back and watched the horror proceed on the screen, at least when Abe wasn’t blocking the view with his hand as though trying to protect you from things best left unseen. To one side, Dark sank down in his chair, one hand to his mouth, while on the other Wilford happily ate his popcorn and laughed out loud more than once. The Jims, for their part, were more than happy to provide a running commentary as a hand emerged from the stained snow and a red-suited body soon followed.

In another time zone, in another country, Marvin flipped furiously through the book Chase had dug out for him when he received the first frantic text.

“Everything okay?” Chase asked eventually, when Marvin swore at the page and turned to the next chapter.

“Perfect. Fine. Great. I just have…” Marvin glanced at the clock on the wall. “Twenty-five minutes to find a spell to make several people forget something if I want to live.”

Chase sighed and pulled up a chair.

“Again?”

((The end. Thank you for reading! Like I said, just a silly story for a (hopefully) fun day. It’s not canon if (almost) everyone forgets it happened, right? Tomorrow I’ll post the first part of Dark Laughter, which does pick up where the Beach episodes left off. It’s...a little less silly, but we’ll leave it at that for now.

Here’s a link to last year’s April Fools one shot, Some Concerns, if you’re interested.

Tagging: @silver-owl413 @skyewardlight @withjust-a-bite @blackaquokat @catgirlwarrior @neverisadork @luna1350 @oh-so-creepy @purpstraw @weirdfoxalley @95fangirl @lilalovesinternet-l @thepoolofthedead @a-bit-dapper @randomartdudette @geekymushroom @cactipresident @hotcocoachia @purple-anxiety-blog @shyinspiredartist ))

#markiplier #fanfic #wkm y/n #jim news #marvin the magnificent #Darkiplier #Wilford Warfstache #detective Abe #april fools #totally canon #hot cocoa hot tub #magic is easy #card tricks are harder

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reactionaryhater · 6 years ago

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Watch Innuendo Studios’ video “There is Always a Bigger Fish” and give us your thoughts on it.

Sounds interesting enough. I’m busy this week, but I’ll give it a look tonight and more or less stop to jot down my thoughts as they come. Warning: This will be LONG and RAMBLING.

The topic of the video, as Innuendo Studios (IS) claims, is “the core ideology of conservatism.” I should start by saying I’m not a conservative, in fact I’m ideologically at odds with much of what our Republican party does. Additionally, I’ve never really understood conservatism as a general concept. Like, if you bring up liberalism, or socialism, or progressivism, or whatever you call the Democratic party, I know some basic markers that distinguish these from other political beliefs. Conservatism, I’m not so sure. There’s the idea of small government and traditional values, but these are both relative to our society. And when they come at odds, which does the ideological conservative choose? So on that note evaluating this video might be difficult.

“Say for the sake of argument, you’ve got this friend.”

Oh boy, here comes a self insert fic. I’d like to call this a strawman, but I can’t have it both ways now. I will say arguing politics by private message sounds a bit pathological to me.……cough…Okay will this bickering be on the test?

“Republican thought.”

Okay, we’re not talking about core ideological conservatism here, we’re talking about Republicans. Good to keep in mind.

“If you didn’t believe your friend shared these assumptions, you’d basically be calling him a fascist or a sadist.”

That says quite a bit about the breadth the word “fascism” has for IS. Anyone who doesn’t believe “Do unto others” and isn’t clinically disordered is a fascist.

“And you conclude that, if you believe in democracy, you must believe in equality, and, if you believe in equality, you must believe in equal access to education, and must conclude that governments should help pay tuition.”

This is a chain argument, or to put it another way, a train of association. IS makes three logical steps which he outlines, from one thought to another. In principle, they look good and sound. In reality, many assumptions are made and many possible alternatives ignored, each step of the way. That means the more steps he makes, the more distant he gets from the starting point by an exponential factor.

Let’s start with the first conclusion: Democracy means everyone is equal. He suggests democracy doesn’t work unless everyone is equal (such as in education). I think the people who started the practices of democracy were much smarter than that. Even when all voters had to own land, they would have known not everyone was equally educated, equally virtuous, and equally informed. That was never the point. Democracy doesn’t assume everyone is equal, it assumes the majority of active citizens have the best interests of their society in mind.

I’d also like to point out how he ought to be explaining his belief that everyone is “equal but not equal.” Remember that meme about the fence? Different heights. If anything it’s the conservatives and the “privilege deniers” who believe in the most present equality. Now in an ideal world, if everyone is equal, they can surely educate themselves. But they’re not equal. But they SHOULD be equal. So they need assistance to become equal. Who’s going to MAKE us equal? He assumes the government in the third conclusion. But when did the government gain a monopoly on the power to enact change?

“He is often misinformed, but what if that isn’t the problem? What if he… actually believes something else?”

Uh oh, question begging incoming.

“A liberal is someone who tends to think democratically, and a conservative is someone who tends to think like a capitalist.”

I don’t accept this definition for ideological roots or for the parties as a whole, but I accept it for certain segments of the US political sphere. Those segments may not be equally represented or influential. They’re there, though, so that’s a start.

“It’s an egalitarian mindset; people gain power by…”

HAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m sorry, I just can’t. I can’t help myself. I must meme.

I get that he goes on to give the “People have the power” line, but that is a bit different. We the people ordained the Constitution, which grants power according to rules, and so on. We are not a direct democracy, nor, do I think, anyone today would believe our elected officials are mere employees.

“This is the idea of democracy, with the history of democracy being riddled with failures to live up to this ideal”

Not even IS, and as I said, pure egalitarianism is not by design in the US. I want to be clear I’m not saying egalitarianism is bad, nor am I saying that people should not be treated with equal degrees of respect – this is a very different discussion. I’m just addressing his claims about our political foundations here.

I agree with his description of capitalism.

I disagree that conservatives believe hierarchy is man’s natural state. Many many conservatives are devout Christians, and in Christian tradition, everyone in theory is equal under God. Many conservatives also believe capitalism is a means toward increasing the quality of life for all people.

“Power has to be earned.”

You mean *cough* by garnering votes? I mark this point as where he inserts the straw man that conservatives all want black people to be under Jim Crow again, which sure is a talking point of the far left, isn’t it, and yet not a talking point of the Republican party.

“All citizens are equal…is a legal fiction.”

So I wrote about how he cannot believe in equality before hearing this point, and honestly now. Someone who believes all people are equal does not advocate for money for the poor, because there are no poor. This sounds silly for me to say, but until he either defines equality in concrete terms or concedes that his equality is an “ought” not an “is” (bringing himself about halfway to this capitalist conservative) we won’t be able to go any further.

“Of any issue, simply ask: does this distribute power, or consolidate it?”

Does IS desire a more powerful central government, or a less powerful central government?

“If you’re in the middle, then you serve the king. Valar dohaeris. But, to everyone beneath you, you are the king.”

Ah, the privilege argument rears its ugly head at last. IS apparently thinks we live in, and the honest to God best analogy I can make here is, Soviet Russia at the height of corruption. Peons lick the boots of paper pushers. IS is right when he says he and conservatives can’t communicate, because the world he perceives is not the United States or just about any other developed nation. Here, paper pushers are treated like crap just as much, in fact, usually treated like crap by two sides. By the same token, a poor person’s vote is equal to a middle class vote (but only the rich have enough money to buy power, or a seat in college, or have the connections to get the job).

“And getting pissed at those above implies that those below have a right to be pissed at you.”

Just to hammer it home, this statement necessitates that middle management has real power to enact their own will, and everything I’ve heard from and about people in middle management suggests otherwise. Analogize to the mythical power of merely being white / male or white / male passing.

“A slight on them is a slight on all of us.”

All republicans are racist hillbillies stereotype.I notice how he just slipped this in without even a logical progression. In his grand argument, it’s actually a new premise.

[Analogy to Kingdom Hearts]

I don’t even.

“Savvy viewers may be remembering another political philosophy that is hierarchical, undemocratic, built on nostalgia, and that likes to cloak its policies in progressive camouflage”

Ooo, ooo, it’s the one I was just talking about, Soviet Russia. Oh, nope, I apologize, he has a single word that makes this answer slightly less than ideal, “nostalgia.” With that word, the answer is

“Fascism.”

Who knew nostalgia was of such moral consequence.

“If you don’t like what a business is doing, you don’t regulate it, you take your money elsewhere. You should favor the capitalist solution, not the democratic one.”

Is the collective action of masses to speak their mind not democratic? I understand if his intention is to claim the business will survive despite protest, but he doesn’t claim that. This implies an unusually limited definition of “democratic”: it must compel the operation of government. Whereas fascism and capitalism are defined broadly enough to describe associated, sometimes partial associated, values. I’m not sure what he’s trying to accomplish with this difference of definition, but it’s worth noticing.

“They will never be onboard with aiding the poor in any systemic way, and will, instead, champion charity and crowdfunding, because minnows getting to eat should always be framed as a gift rather than a right.”

Two things. First, charity is systemic. Crowdfunding is systemic, though maybe short-lived. I guess “systemic” now shares the same anemia of definition that “democratic does” in it must only apply to government action. (Unless it’s systemic racism…) Second, conservatives cannot believe both that minnows work for their own food (“How resourceful were you? How well did you play?”) and minnows only survive by being given food.

“But as long as you are trying to meet this mentality in the middle, you are leaving the door open for fascists.”

Did I predict that he hates moderates? Darn, I don’t think I wrote that one down. Well, another day, another radical.

“I recommend this one, because egalitarian thinking is one thing Nazis are bad at infiltrating.”

But people like Pol Pot are good at infiltrating it and, like, shooting a fifth of the population in a field.

Again, I don’t dislike egalitarianism, but that’s a pretty shallow argument in its favor.

I guess the sum of this video is to claim that conservatism is somehow the worship of capitalism, and then that conservatism is like fascism, and fascism shares a “hierarchical mindset” with capitalism. But he can’t bring himself to claim fascism is an extension of capitalism, because that would have us all wondering why Adolf Hitler went around decrying, “plutocracies in which a tiny clique of capitalists dominate the masses.“

So again we get an argument from looks-a-little-like. Fascism looks-a-little-like hierarchy, and so does capitalism. Nevermind so do state-based communism, socialism, regulatory agencies, even labor unions, and any organization that claims to be [inter]national. And our Democrats sure haven’t slowed down the hierarchy of our government.

On a final note, I kept getting confused thinking “bigger fish” was about the phrase “bigger fish to fry” until I went through the whole video and realize, no, it’s supposed to be “big fish in a small pond.” You know, like that Coldplay song. “Lost!”

Probably should have cleared things up and titled the video, “Lost!”

#innuendo studios #conservatism #republicans #capitalism #social justice

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oswednesday · 5 years ago

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omg not to Wax or w/e but a student in class commented on how fast i was working and like i was all omg thanks but i work reaaally slow compared to like my Peers and it made me think about like the generational differences in art like day one, one of them whos younger id say like 40-50 were like In Awe over the novelty of markers like ooo markers are what the Kids are using today and i was like oh boy,,but last class the teacher was saying how like color pencils were a rarity like they just werent a thing youd see in a fine arts class unless you went out of your way and how like pastel and chalk like pencils were common and how she retired at like age 50 the year i was born sdfgh and then the teacher who is like 70 was say how the student grade paint they used then is now like, super expensive and hard to get vs the student grade paint now thats mostly filler but how like the pro grade is more accessible, or how difficult good paper/canvas is to get now but how demyistified the labels are, like some of them are older than common art brands, like idk where im going with this just like the values and what “art” looked like and how it was taught through the lenses of a multi-generational class?

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wakemany · 7 years ago

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Hi Welcome

Tina Small is christian . Roberta Pedon is Irish

September 15, 2015

Uncategorized

Edit

H I SToRM FRoNT– ERS – Edited Letter i Sent to Don blacK —–— To Don BlacK : I did snail mail in past . TLH Syracuse , Rev RaY Indiana , RNPA LocK port , said m Y “ Litter With paper ” plan has merit .

silence . No more chat rooms , Yahoo clubs . SF is the only outlet . Not Reddit .

silence . Edgar Steele , innocent NSM leader in prison . The day may come When even you Will be silenced .

my plan – small groups , paper is hard to stop . Do “ exploits ”, “ instruct many ”, truth – lives on !

not gonna stop gov’t agenda immigration . Fact . next best alternative ?

Women are suffering . Ask Shoshana Roberts . What else is Working ? TonY

Read more if you Want …… start of my plan

I saw an angry White girl with her arms extended and walking away and turning around at times and telling him off and a black dude following . A pastor once told me repeat = abuse !

I saw this several times , but another White lady told me – “ trying to ignore that person , but they just follow and talk ”.

I saw a friendly black turning around to see if a White girl was still there . sneaky slowly trying . What to do ? Page 1 oF 14

Try TEACHING STRATEGY… Racism is socially learned – babies Know nothing . Ask – is it learned ? Then it should Work !

What a time consuming pain ! Joining KKK ain’t working , right ? Your current “ Wake up ? ” strategy is – nonsense . pointless .

but – education won’t stop the bleeding . No – but it Will slow it down .

1. organize , 2. Wear gloves to hide fingerprints , 3. litter cars ( Windshields , homes , streets ) With paper + dvd’s ( old movies )… simple …. If you are Fed up

A new advertising strategy . Perhaps you “ racists ” will Light the Way to advertise secretly . Pioneers in “ exploits ” = sneaky stuff ? INSTRUCT MEANS MORE THAN JUST TELLING . INSTRUCT MEANS PAPER and TIME .

The people Who Know their God Will be strong and do great exploits . And those of the people who understand shall instruct many … Daniel 11 : 32 – 33 . There is always a Few who understand …

maybe this letter has something to do With what christians Will do non violently in the Future . So , most effective Way is to do it privately ? small ? publicly ? big ? maybe small and sneaky LiKe exploit christians is best .

Decentralized KKK and no independent media ( it is controlled , except a bit of internet ) maKes PERSONAL UNDERSTANDING ( Daniel those among the people Who understand ) or LOGIC , REASON more important . if you agree .

unLiKe WiKipedia , this site Will not change . it is up to you to decide what the correct strategy is and to learn to thinK strategically . Read my gov’t letter below . As always – if you agree !

STRATEGY 1 – Logic strategy – blondes Wouldn’t exist . don’t need bible or history . duh ! blue eyes , red hair do exist . Why ? Kinda important – logic + requires only 1 sentence.

STRATEGY 2 – EXPOSE MEDIA BIAS . Leaving Los Angeles . South Africa silence . Again , it supports the argument that We are being Lied to .

Spy Who Shagged Me painting KKK as Evil ( Dr . Evil on Springer’s show ). Star Wars has important Women + blacks ( Windu , captain , Billy Dee ) , but main actors are still White !

Back To The Future has important black mayor + Anti – arab . examples from MODERN DAY movies sooo blatant that it exposes itself .

+ in movie “ Thank You For SmoKing ”, THEY ADMITTED that Hollywood deleted smoking scenes from classic movies .

STRATEGY 3 – Kings of the East + the End . Why did these 2 threats to the White Race ( Seeds oF men mingling and Kings of East ) happen only in the “ Last days ” ?

MENTioN – chinese gov’t told businesses not to serve blacKs or Mongolians during 1988 Beijing olYmpics . i thought Asians were Mongolian . Go Figure . crazy – but …

not Just gov’t , but Chinese people protesting in Nanjing – Get blacKs out . not Mongolians .

What happens if china Wins ? or Worse . If china does not show up ? many angry Whites today .

Wouldn’t this Kings of East strategy maKe Asian White marriages more Acceptable ?

Yes , but , it Would maKe Zebras more unacceptable . Hmm … there are pros and cons .

WHO CONTROLS THE GOV’T TOMORROW ? Either Way , you Lose if you marry blacK – Permanently , political Law is stronger than social Law .

Who says most believe the Bible ? LiKe i said , Christians do exist . it doesn’t hurt to mention bible stuff Anyway .

Just don’t bring Nostradamus into this – a Land bridge Would give china access to America . He also predicted – Russia and America are Kings of the North , a New Earth and NYC gets nuked .

STRATEGY 4 – include PICTURES From the more recent C R movement , S A Farm murders – A PIC SAYS 1,ooo Words and makes racism more personal , real , tangible . Fastest is paper ( in steady chunKs and not Just boring text .

STRATEGY 5 – I Would NOT advise this , it is contrary to using bible . But old saying ,“ Sex sells ” maKes me thinK advertisers sometimes avoid this on purpose .

STRATEGY 6 –” A moving target is harder to Hit “- they said in Waterloo Bridge ! select different communities , not Just one metro area or state . on different nights . Keep police guessing ! cry WolF create diversions 1st ?

STRATEGY 7 – KNoW THE ENEMY Beware of going into or near big companies ( Hospitals , Zoo ) or gov’t buildings or downtown . carnivore exists . only if connected to internet . Beware of new computer technologies .

About Walkie talkies – echelon exists . use “ suspicious ” encoded Words – could be Worse . cell phones can be used as a tracking device. credit or library cards leave an electronic trail . CARS have GPS . Surveillance cameras all over . Face recognition technology exists .

A Team – Find a person Who can refill ink Jet cartridges . Saves money in the long run . + a computer expert to download . WORK PROFESSIONALLY .

Have an escape plan . PRACTICE – duffel bags ? Need to refill . There is a “ learning curve ”. Someone to drive van ( materials are heavy ) . go potty 1st . Need watchers .

Still you looK LiKe a thief ! Even before distributing , buying certain ( i.e., Remote control ) items on Ebay could raise a flag .

A drug dealer on the news operated in a rural small town because there is LESS OF A POLICE PRESENCE and used video cameras in front door and escaped out back door .

HOMEWORK – Know which routes you are going to “ Hit ”. A “ lone wolf ”, instead of a “ cell ”– even gov’t refers to these terms to describe terrorists .

Even if you think you have done enough homework or practise , Life has a Way of reminding you of your shortcomings .

Iron on letters onto shirt ? You are stupid to advertise racist beliefs . You are trying to do it secretly . What if the gov’t infiltrates and offers stupid plans , such as …

It Was once suggested that separate militia should all Join together . In my opinion , the gov’t infiltrated and tried to offer a stupid suggestion . one that Would expose them for arrest .

“SMALL” STRATEGY 8 – be Weary of making the group big , as the militia have learned to be Weary . Page 2 oF 14

Even iF caught , What’s Worst that could happen ? J Edgar Hoover didn’t care about KKK . only communist Party .

gov’t doesn’t care about racial literature , only political . proof – other race sites exist . i.e., stormFront . militia is enemy Madeleine Albright said .

There are other violent + unethical + political strategies I thought up , such as booby trap mine the graffiti – explode harmless paint ? sKunK ? Strategy 9 . Which I intentionally Left off my Site , should the gov’t persist on stopping mostly race literature .

movie Sound of music – Activity suggests a LiFe Full of purpose . What activity does not WorK ?

Politics never WorKs . Kuchinich and Trump called voting a Rigged Game . + Kuchinich was leading on internet based polls .

Politics never WorKs . Immigration increasing year after year .

What does a ��Rally or demonstration or protest accomplish ? or signing petitions ?

Long – Lasting Graffiti accomplishes the same thing – it shows that racism exists – Without the necessary manpower and effort . Much cheaper than billboards too .

STRATEGY 9 – Low RisK SHORT SENTENCES – I’ve heard of KKK buying billboards before . use airplanes LiKe they did in Iraq . drop leaflets . Too heavy ? Remote control ? Beware oF going into hobby shops .

is it effective ? ADL Website encourages FolKs to send in photos of racist graffiti ! “ Race matters – bible Samaritans are out ” – I prefer over “ I hate Asians ”. SHoW THAT RACISM EXISTS ! or use marKers indoors . Page 3 of 14

KKK’s ” sporadic ” leaflet strategy only tells people that the KKK exists . So much more potential . Proves KKK is ABLE & WILLING to distribute .

Possible to use a “ gun ” to launch material , “ Flinging ” LiKe newspaper boy ? Yes , but police may get Wise to seeing VANS at night . bicycle With painted Wheels to paint sentences all over ?

The pro is better than lazy . Generally , the more sophisticated ( GREAT exploits ) , the greater the results . Example – Temporary Radio sites , get Remote control From other countries , placing pre – made newspaper outlets , — gotta thinK !

gov’t could make people afraid of unleft pacKages by coming up With stories on the evening news .

do this – LEAVE IT TO BE FOUND . it Would be expensive and many Wasted non – hits . but less RisK …… You looK LiKe a thieF ! is a problem that this could neutralize .

STRATEGY 10 – When distributing , include my ” How to ” strategy plan – Your efforts could multiply and SelF propagate all BY ITSELF .

KKK never required strong leadership . KKK exists in Brazil and India also . WiKipedia said KKK grew Whenever social tensions arose and Waned Whenever they loosened automatically . KKK is human nature . It could ignite by itself , couldn’t it ?

Super major “ Legit ” strategy 11 – use bible … Jesus ate With sinners , SAMARITANS , Lepers . all contagious , and affects those Who are not infected . Women too

Sinners . “ protect your Rep ” Tax collectors Were Jews Who collected taxes From other Jews and gave it to the Romans .

blacks Were “ sold out ” by black slave traders ( in Africa , not the ships – Packed Like sardines . Titanic sank Whites got Killed – public outcry ) .

In movie , ‘ It’s a Wonderful LiFe ’ – “ You Know Mr . Gower ? ( a “ sinner ” outcast pharmacist who poisoned a Kid ) you must be a Jailbird yourself . Throw them out ”.

on TV , a Lady saw O. J. Simpson getting yelled at one day . She said “ imagine What LiFe is LiKe everyday ”

Vivien Leigh commits suicide at end of ‘ Waterloo Bridge ‘ because she had a dancer’s Rep .

Jesus crossed social Line into Samaria and could’ve died . He crossed physical Line and Walked on Water . LiKe cursing Laws oF gravity .

Samaritans Were outcasted . Assyrians invaded israel and intermingled . Racial half – breeds .

Lepers – in movie ‘ Ben Hur ’, people ran away . There was a ‘ Valley oF Lepers ‘ and black circus performers .

… but most are guilty – magic Johnson pleaded on TV , “ people say ooh and shy away From me . don’t do that ”. imagine Life for him everyday

WiKi article ‘ Leprosy stigma ’ – says “ Forced segregation … commit suicide ’, Families Were affected …

In movie ‘ Philadelphia ’, he was innocent and got it from a blood transfusion . They said “ a social death preceeds a physical death ” For HIV people .

Women’s suffrage at turn of the century. in bible , there Were concubines . Read in newspaper , Iraqi Women afraid of Saddam‘s son , Odai .

in Roman days , Women Were treated a tad better than animals . Aren’t “ honor Killings ” still committed iF they embarrass Family ? and Arab Women Wear veils .

constitution and bible says all men are equal , and Yet bible says all men Rich poor Free slave have to accept mark of the beast .

That a man is innocent until proven guilty , yet Joseph Went to prison for raping Potifa’s Wife .

blacks changed their mind and said “ progress ”. They Knew abstract equality can’t exist . Page 4 of 14

Moses married a Cushite and God had no problem . Miriam said “ LooK what he did ” = “ is he crazy ? ” People do care . if Joseph was innocent and we free all rapists in prison , society will Fall apart . Also , Joseph couldn’t eat with his brothers because he was Egyptian .

“ Right to bear arms ” 2nd important amendment and Well regulated militia is NECESSARY . Malcolm X urged all blacks to get guns .

Not all blacks think that Way , but there are those that do . Haiti – “ Whatever you do to us , We do to you ! ” TanKs on MLK’s birthday . President Charles Taylor – “ They owe it to us ! ”. Tulsa got bombed From the Air . War ! Surrender at Tulsa – and die after colFax massacre .

constitution was written by christians who wrote it in abstract terms ( ForeFathers were wise ) ON PURPOSE – Knowing that in reality , it doesn’t worK that way . You can put bible away – abstract concepts apply only to God .

in reality , the needs oF MANY outweigh needs oF FEW , or the ONE – Star TreK Khan ! but Lot was the only ONE in Sodom and the Famine in Israel happened because oF a FEW Gibeonites . it taKes time to explain things LiKe ABSTRACT..… but it is relevant .

Lights don’t LiKe darKs in a movie by important director SpiKe Lee . Who “oppresses ” poor ? Apostle Paul said, the Rich . When poor become Rich ? they oppress also .

darKs become Lighter ? mulattoes were Killed on Haiti . American blacks don’t LiKe recent arriving immigrants from Africa . india .

clarify – 1,000 years ( 300 Arab + 700 White ) of slavery is not oppression – it is ForsaKen . God deals with people on relative time basis because people are relative .

God’s LAW . 1 suffers . The other doesn’t . Then the 1 who doesn’t suffer suffers – until they die . it is oK unknowingly . not oK Knowingly .

Social LAW . it’s simple – 1 is in . 1 is out . in the 50’s 60’s , it was social suicide to go public . congressman Strom Thurmond had a half Kid he loved , but Kept it hidden .

Answer is simple . gotta obey society . everything is socially defined – naKed , purple orange car , Wear socKs on hands

Emmett Till whistled at a white woman and got lynched . but he wasn’t “ SUPPOSED TO DO THAT ” – socially defined . His pals hightailed it outta there . They Knew .

Michael Richards of Seinfeld did use the N Word and the crowd all got up and left . not “ supposed to do that ”.

Mrs . obama said , “ I am a black woman from the south side of Chicago and i’m not supposed to be here ”. In her own Words .

if a leper walks out of the Valley of the Lepers and tries to mingle with healthy people , who’s wrong ? is he acting “ out of place ” and “ asKing For it ”. Page 5 oF 14

LEARNED – babies don’t Know right hand from Left . Nobody hates when they are born .

go bacK 6o’s TV – Gomer Beaver G Acres munsters Adams Fam Jeanie car 54 Fav martian 3 Sons A Griffith T Zone Howdy d Lost in Space Flipper – All White

70’s movie ‘ Walking Tall ’ ( With Joe Don BaKer , not Re – maKe ). ( and it’s based on a true story ) , 3 White men walKed into a black bar and blacks became quiet .

There was a prostitute in ‘Walking Tall ’ who helped the sheriff “ good guy ”. in bible , the prostitute Rahab helped the good guys ancient israelites . How real

bottom line – Why do they mingle , but not CLEAVE together – because it goes AGAINST human nature . beauty ugly ! interracial is not oK . maKe it cleave . it won’t . Why not ? it don’t work that way .

on New Earth , animal nature – Wolf and Lamb Feed together . isaiah 65 : 25 …… malcolm X’s dad’s 3 brothers died VIOLENTLY at the hands oF white men … All 3 , in 3 separate incidents .

Torture was Known as “ breaking ”. break a horse . Pavlov “ conditioned ” his dogs . stop torture and blacks start Fighting bacK – in numbers in Summer oF 1919 .

Torture is learned . Animals want to be happy . get angry , sad . Native American slaves stopped maKing babies .

Human same as animal nature . WiKipedia said whites couldn’t control themselves when they saw blacks with guns after the unpopular – draft dodgers back then – New York City draft Riots ) Civil War .

black dude walking up to Michael Richards at Laugh Factory couldn’t control himself . LiKe animal .

confused ? but human nature – ALWAYS WINS IN THE END . unless gov’t is controlled by someone else . After 6,ooo years , India got rid of caste system , politically , for the 1st time ever in 1950 .

but whole communities are still segregated in India . caste system is not a solution . it only slows it down . not stop it . a solution is supposed to worK . Why Keep it ? Next best alternative ALWAYS WINS IN THE END .

use bible – Jews and Samaritans had no dealings with one another. WiKi said in ‘ Civil Rights Movement ’ article – “ blacks and whites would have to sit next to each other — a simple yet revolutionary act ”.

Leonard Maltin said something similar in Little Rascals Vol 21 intro – “… Kids playing together wasn’t done then ”.

cut people’s heads off and put it on a pole in Ninevah . Jonah hated . WiKi said after slave revolts , blacks same thing cut off head put on pole .

history books are not always true , on purpose or accident . Hard to verify most but not FAMOUS HISTORY – but if it fits bible . probably true . Fame Killed o J Simpson . can’t move . Fame .

Michael Richards said “ 50 years ago we had you upside down with a ForK down your butt”. verify history ? truth ?

Mention Famous then – oprah 1st ever black billionaire – out of how many who preceded ? , Powell – 1st ever black Secretary of State , 44 Presidents were white men . Page 6 of 14

They are burning whites with hot irons in Africa today – WiKipedia said that blacks were branded . They say in Africa today “ all Boers are dogs ” – WiKi said “ many parKs barred them with signs that read “ negroes and dogs not allowed .” if they’re doing the same in Africa, then it’s probably true .

Reasons – 1 History . His Story . 2 Africa surrounded by water . 3 Live next to consistently strong , but never super strong Arabs ( Persia silver , Babylon gold , Magog Arabs ) . 4 Always WeaK . 5 Travels all over the World ( slavery ) – and suffers . 6 Just as much black blood as white 1.1 billion in Africa . 7. Asians Won + people thinK in terms of night day salt pepper , not thicK hair Asians are opposite of thin hair black + India 1 billion . LiKe Pat Buchanan “ endless cycle ” of violence .

not true . nothing lasts forever . nuKes 1940’s + Hiroshima . chemical weapons WW 1 . industrial Revolution = pollution . Soon super pollution Christians say Wormwood – 1/3rd of waters becomes bitter .

technology – cars horses , trains canals , bulbs Fire , photos paint , Fridge ice . christians are correct . Whites getting ugly only in END .

IF THIS CONTINUES , Spike Lee said you have to “ move over ”. WiKi said there was always violence in India . S F said We are the voice of the new embattled White minority .

Council of conservative citizens said “ What’s happening in South Africa will happen here in America ..… my Kids !

After the NWO , blacks are Lucky ? Kings of the East showed up ? china can’t walk on water . What about UK , Australia ? ThinK – Pharaoh used a containment strategy and threw male babies into the N i l e River .

Race is a matter of LiFe and death . AsK the Native American Indians . mexican American WAR . SA murders .

but it is “ criminal ” to outcast because of race UN said . it is if you thinK about it . but HISTORY FITS BIBLE – concubines , monarchies , Lynch mobs – Stephen was stoned . They publicly hung criminals in America long ago . They crucified in the bible – naked . Public humiliation is outlawed by constitution .

There were no “ bankruptcy laws ”. You lost all you had back then – debtor’s Prison .

IN BIBLE ( monarchies most stable Form of gov’t ) + in movie ‘ Wizard oF oZ ’ + Audrey Hepburn movie ( I Forget ) , there were European monarchies . No more monarchies after WW1 . media labels it “ dictatorship ”.

Most are simply CONFUSED . When Israel airlifted ( 1st class + expensive ) Ethiopian Jews , Israeli gov’t said ( once they arrived – IT WAS “ CONFUSED ” + it took Israel over 20 years ( since 1948 – in Feb 1973 ) to even recognize Ethiopians .

Word For Word , according to “ Ethiopian Jews in Israel ” WiKi article – “ Which was and still is mainly subjected to political developments in Israel .”…… gov’t is still thinking ! even to this day .

Ashkenazi ( European ) don’t LiKe Sephardi ( From Middle East ) Jews . Pat Buchanan don’t LiKe arabs either . or Messianic Jews ( christians ) try to convert my Kids ( contagious ) .

Messianics live in Israel way before Ethiopian . Race precedes religion to society . WASP . White precedes Anglo Saxon precedes Protestant .

Lepers were separated to PROTECT THE INNOCENT. it’s more important ( to Forefathers ) to free Joseph , rather than punish Potifa’s Wife . outlaw interracial – protect the innocent . but our gov’t doesn’t .

People LIE – Jews of Weimar Republic thought they were “ more German than Jewish ”, but they got Killed . Latinos think they’re American , but segregated communities exist.

Explain WHY. gov’t ! if whites rule , Why bring in Eastern and southern Europeans in 1890’s ? Japanese after WW 2 ? Latinos 1990’s ?

SLOWLY – Show progressive ! – it would implicate that NWO existed long ago . Even before the civil Rights movement , Whites are getting uglier – blacks ain’t winning because of CR .

i discovered that the NAACP was started by Jews . Attorney general Amos Tappan Ackerman . CORE – Goodman Schwerner . Scottsboro boys – Liebowitz .

STRATEGY 12 – Explain Women . Jesus ate With . suffrage movement + Femi – nazi’s – again – in 1960’s Pat Buchanan said – progressive .

You could have 2 Wives in Asia . They have 2 Wives in the Middle East today . in bible , Abraham had 2 Wives ( Sarah and Hagar ) . media labels it ‘ bigamist ’.

Pakistan leader Bhutto was 1st Female leader of an Islamic nation – ever ! Albright 1st ever ! Woman Secretary of State . Thatcher and Golda Meir are the iron ladies of UK and Israel – not

STRATEGY 13 – Explain consequences … Kids are Kids . At school . Malcolm X was told by a teacher “ being a Lawyer is no goal For a N * LiKe you ”.

Kids and adults are cruel to those who don’t looK LiKe they do . “ dad , Why did you marry mom ? ” Now don’t say that about your mom !

“ I got into a Fight today dad ”. Why ? in mind “ Fight it ” blacks get into Fights ( i’ve heard this MANY times ) .

denny’s WiKi article – not serve black Secret Service agents . BoJangles Robinson was told to leave a restaurant once .

” Asian Jen and White Tina parent’s told me she couldn’t marry me last night . They absolutely refused . We broke up ”.

sigh …“ must Fight it . Fight society”. try again . “ son , maybe you should Just marry a black girl ”… hopelessness sets in . He grows older. It is learned over time .

Read in Plain Dealer : doctors prescribe medicine less often to blacks . Some blacks have good Jobs ( usually gov’t post office , RTA ) , but not most .

Plain Dealer said – generally , older Whites do NoT interracially marry . generally , younger do . Page 7 of 14

Rumors are public . black is public . People see and hear things . You can’t Just “ move on ” with your Life – unless you move , LiKe some slaves , not most , did long ago ( to nation of Liberia )

God said to Samuel – man looKs upon the outward appearance . I don’t . but people do . God said so . Fat , ugly people discrimination will not go away . Racism also .

Are blacks LiKe Joseph ? Right to be angry . Life’s not Fair . innocent . Killed . does that give Joseph the right to spread ( public ) rumors about someone ?

A song – LooK at all these rumors surrounding me EVERYDAY… tell him to pass a bill so that next time they catch rumors shoot to Kill ! Page 8 of 14

STRATEGY 14 – Promote british irish beauty , especially FAIR SKIN TRAIT . Show them Just how pretty and the irish are . Need pics . examples From sports , past – Just how british we once were . and BiG .

There is disparity . over time , people may be able to distinguish . it would lead to less tolerance to becoming even a little uglier … to the individual . Write it out LiKe I did – Faster learning curve .

black last names – no Stallone , SWarzenegger , Dimitri , East South European . getting blurry tho – Half brits .

Tall : Conan O ’ Brien , JFK , Ted Cassidy ( Adams Family ) , Fred Gwynne ( Herman Munster ) + Larry Byrd and Kevin McHale – definitely Boston Celtic . 3 actors – Liam Neeson , Tim Robbins , Chuck Connors .

NOTICE : FEW big latinos ( Statistically , many participate in Football ) . Munoz ? Just 1 , LiKe Bruce Lee .

Tommy Morrison ( Rocky 5 ) , Dempsey ( heavyweights , unLike latinos ) , Kevin McBride ( 100% irish . beat Tyson ) .

irish Mark McGuire ( home run King ) . latino canseco was never as big .

Dorian Yates ( brit . Mr . Olympia ) Eastern Honky Arnold was never as massive

+ Lee Haney never achieved success LiKe Arnold . Blades never succeeded LiKe chuck Norris or Van Damme .

Point – beauty is strategy of itself . Who is more beautiful than brits ? Haman tripped into Ester’s “ bosoms ”. boobs matter . KILL ABRAHAM . STEAL SARAH . could get husband KILLED – does matter .

Almost all uncensored ( by Cabin Fever only on VHS ) Little Rascals have the Kind of racial propaganda , but not historically inaccurate , the KKK LiKes – negative black portrayals . Which is also censored !

in other Words , 1. Song of the South or Rascals – take precedent over 2. Mary Poppins – british , but still not a Lie historically . This categorizing strategy – is – relevant , but not very important . # 1 Song of South , Gone With Wind .

# 2 BRiT + religion 2 For 1 deal : my Fair Lady , Waterloo Bridge , Chitty Bang . Expose immoral strategy – Proves that they removed religion + Fun !

Answer is no – 3 caballeros stereotypes Latinos , but does so in a romantic sort of Way . Naming gov’t buildings after blacks ? Bad – does so in an important Way . Streets , gov’t and utility buildings , bus stations are named after blacks . and holidays – Kwanzaa , MLK . Page 9 of 14

STRATEGY 15 – EXPOSE IMMORALITY . Some classics Were not released on dvd , or Were edited for moral reasons alone . not Just RACE LIES . GaY Lez too. + nudity

2 Timothy 3 :1-4 ( unedited KJV ) 1 This Know also , that in the Last days perilous times shall come . 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves , covetous , boasters …

We are being lied to both racially and immorally should complement each other’s arguments . These are mostly old movies . important but ethics TAKES A LIFETIME of dvd learning .

I wouldn’t do this except short movie snipets – Actors praying , reading bible , etc . I’m not sure . maybe it is good to include the whole movie . LiKe Betty Boop , any old disney , RanKin Bass will do .

With a plastic dvd , I was worried about oily fingerprints . besides , movies are not concentrated education .

I would use at least 1 concentrated dvd – put all materials , if not more , on dvd . dvd’s can be replicated – could result in SHARING . movies in AVI Format on computer , but more people have dvd players VOB Format . or both . Page 10 of 14

STRATEGY 16 – DON’T GIVE UP – Leads to greater – UNDERSTANDING , LEARNING IS RELATIVE . KEEP DOING IT . Why did Hollywood ban movies , cartoons ? Answer : Racism is Learned .

History , segregation – say otherwise … don’t give up ! 6,ooo year India got rid of caste system for the 1st time ever in 1950 .

Don’t be intimidated by the length of my letter . overthrow gov’t … not gonna happen is it ? “ Terrorism ” is cheap – All it taKes is paper .

But it is gov’t who has Lied . The media – silence SA + LA = Lie . Right ? Wrong ? Blacks who used children ( children’s crusade ) – Who have crossed the Line . of right and wrong . Page 11 of 14

The KKK is MAYBE INFILTRATED ?, that the United Northern and Southern Knights asK on their Website – is it better to be smaller ? ) . By chance , I discuss this in my letter .

To Council of CC – When doing things publicly my letter Warns about Disney . is Baum Jewish ? Did any meet an untimely death ? No Jews in White groups !

Miriam complained about Moses marrying a Cushite + Women most often complain about interracial . Teaching strategy is perfect for WAU “ Women for Aryan Unity ” – as they say . non – violent become a Female race Litterbug !

because the KKK Was fragmented + decentralized in 1981 ( michael donald lawsuit ) , I used the Know the Enemy strategy to get many addresses – I visited SPLC + ADL enemy List ! could someone forward this to WAU ? and White sisters in particular

Accept uglier ? Lost the magic ? Lost Disney itself ! or a spoonful of sugar ( Fun , not hard , convenience ��striKe ) maKes the medicine ( distributing WorK ) go down . or preseal the material in a bag or envelope before distributing if you are afraid of fingerprints .

initially it taKes WorK . gather Which material ? staple it … Leave it , striKe at clothing store . Library . bathroom . shopping cart . go to new restaurant ! Page 12 of 14

—————————— Excerpt from WWW.resist.com/JOOMJournal/BITTERFRUIT.html ( it was sent to me from TLH central NY White Pride Syracuse NY )………

…….. What those bastard Jews have been WorKing toward for decades , and they’ve finally succeeded . Here in California and all other coastal cities , it’s commonplace now to see young blondes running With the ugliest damned plates Lips you ever saw . I’m flat astounded that these young Women Will turn their bacKs on good looKing , smart young White men to run With these animals .

Here again We see the fruit of Liberal \ Jew brainwashing . If you tell the public that shit smells LiKe a Rose long enough , there Will be a percentage of Fools that Will start to believe it ……….. and boy , are the Jews squealing LiKe stucK pigs . They hate it . For decades now they’ve outlawed spanKing , Labeling it “ cruel and unusual punishment ”………… SNIP ——————————————

You see ? Racism is learned + my ( Last ) don’t give up Strategy 16 Keep doing it strategy – it tooK Jews decades of brainwashing …… You see ? much thought Went into my letter .

many Roach – Era Little Rascals show spanKing or parental discipline – before it Was bought . + Vol 21 – best of all volumes and it is the Last one . At the introduction , Leonard Maltin admits that Hollywood used racial and ethnic stereotypes . —————————————————————— WiKipedia Keeps changing content so save the article onto your hard drive . As of Sept 23 , 2013 – WiKi said :

in “ Missing White Woman Syndrome ” WiKi – most often a missing person case , involving a young , white , upper – middle class ( frequently blonde ) woman or girl .

…………… Steal Sarah is Abraham’s sister Lie . Privately , Potifa’s Wife tried to seduce Joseph .

2 Samuel 13 : 1-14 – Privately , as she was feeding him , Amnon grabbed beautiful Tamar and raped her . Absalom murdered Amnon later.

I heard pretty White gals on SF complain about blacKs getting violent or touched sometimes – He Fondled me in daylight . Even Raping

Foreign Aid WorKers in Sudan .

other stories – He Fondled himself , touched my hip With his erect penis on subway , she undressed and tried to seduce me .

Another SF girl said , besides getting hit on and unwanted pushy help – occasional threats , occasional KnocK on the door “ I Want sex ”.

Another SF girl said – death threat ! … SneaKY threat tactics employed by -some – blacKs .

+ I saw on Youtube , a black dude threatening to punch a girl and demanding her phone number … prepare your daughters mentally Just in case

Enough is enough – Just do NOT GO TO PRISON – LiKe many guys write to ‘ White Voice’ from prison – cuz they are stupid …. Live to Fight another day !

Just WATCH and WAIT and do harmless SKunK bomb or paint to those Who move into White communities . That Would make me move !

in “ Atlantic Slave trade ” WiKi – The enslaved people Were tortured for the purpose of “ breaKing ” them ( LiKe the practice of breaKing horses ) and conditioning them …

in “ Dennis Kucinich ” WiKi – He also placed 1st in other polls , particularly internet – based ones . This led many activists to believe that his showing in the primaries might be better than what Gallup polls had been saying .

in “ Sexual revolution in 1960s US ” article – homosexuality was still widely publicly reviled , and more often than not was seen as a malaise or mental illness , instead of a legitimate sexual orientation . Indeed throughout the 1950s and 1960s the overriding opinion of the medical establishment was that homosexuality was a developmental maladjustment .

in “ Public humiliation ” WiKi – has largely fallen out of favor since the practice is now considered CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT , which is outlawed in the US Constitution …. + crucifixion was used by the Romans to add public humiliation to A DEATH PENALTY .

in “ NAACP ” WiKi – at its founding , the NAACP had only one African American on its executive board , Du Bois himself . + Early Jewish – American co – founders included Julius Rosenwald , Lillian Wald , Rabbi Emil G . Hirsch and Wise .

in “ Second Reconstruction ” WiKi – statistically Jews were one of the most actively involved non – black groups in the movement

in “ Debtors ’ prison ” WiKipedia – Prior to the mid 19th century debtors ’ prisons were a common Way to deal With unpaid debt . Page 13 of 14

……………Today you can declare chapter 11 banKruptcy . You don’t have to pay bacK what you owe .

in “ Caste System in India ” article – There have been challenges to the caste system from the time of Buddha , [22] Mahavira and Makkhali Gosala .

+ The practice of untouchability was formally outlawed by the Constitution of India in 1950 ,

+ Violence against Dalits , almost always by other backward castes

…………… blacks never stop trying in US history also . Even Light skin blacks don’t LiKe darK skin blacks .

in “ Racism ” WiKi – Almost uniformly , people who are darker – skinned and of indigenous descent make up the peasantry and working classes , while Lighter – skinned , Spanish – descent Latin Americans are in the ruling elite . [32][33]

+ Race is one of the three characteristics most often used in brief descriptions of individuals ( the others are age and sex ) .

+ The mass demonstrations and riots against African students in Nanjing , China , Lasted from december 1988 to January 1989 . [131]

+ Bar owners in central Beijing had been forced “ not to serve black people or Mongolians ” during the 2008 Summer Olympics .

+ In Asia and Latin America , Light skin is seen as more attractive . [119] Thus , skin whitening cosmetic products are popular in East Asia [120] and India. [121]

…………… No matter where you go Lighter skin is higher – Asia , Latin America , india .

in “ Ethnic pornography ” WiKi – porn star Mariah Milano concluded that racism is still considerably rampant in the porn industry and it is often concealed by tongue – in – cheeK arguments LiKe female performers ’ personal preferences .

…………… Gay ( sinners ) , Lesbian , interracial Lies in MANY pornos today . Not Long ago , A MERE KISS ( 1st interracial Kiss on US TV WiKi Said ) caused a rucKus on Star TreK . or 1968 Petula ClarK touched Harry Belafonte’s arm on TV . Page 14 of 14

in “ Ku Klux Klan ” WiKi – big city newspapers were often hostile and ridiculed Klansmen as ignorant farmers . + Lessening of social tensions contributed to the Klan’s decline .

…………… newspapers were propaganda even bacK then . Lessening contributed – automatically . KKK is human nature !

in “ Racism in the United States ” WiKi – One of every nine black families has a close relative in prison over aggressive arrests done by US law enforcement.[105].

+ Mexican mafia Leaders , or shot callers , that they have issued a ” green Light ” on all blacks . This amounts to a standing authorization for Latino gang members to prove their mettle by terrorizing or even murdering any blacks sighted in a neighborhood claimed by a gang loyal to the Mexican mafia .

+ A HISTORY of gov’t – sponsored experimentation , such as the notorious Tuskegee Syphilis Study has Left a Legacy of black distrust of the medical system .

…………… even to this day , in Israel , Ethiopian Jewish Women injected With birth control by the Ministry of Health without their Knowledge . YOU COULD DIE – blacks Leaving Los Angeles . AsK michael donald – Killed at random .

in “ Driving While Black ” WiKi – The phrase implies that a motorist may be pulled over by a police officer simply because he or she is black , and then questioned , searched , and / or charged with a trivial offense . This concept stems FROM A HISTORY…

+ for many years doctors forced African American sickle – cell sufferers to endure PAIN because they assumed that blacks would become addicted to medication ; Time magazine Labeled this ” ailing while black .” [9][10]

…………… Explain consequences strategy – go to Jail , stopped by police – also . Long Live Rodney King ! Pain suffering . for your Kids !

Why WiKi debt prison ? History Fits bible ! Why Kucinich ? Expose media bias strategy ! it doesn’t taKe sophisticated info , does it ?

Did this Letter affect your racial opinions , at all ? If so , educate your Kids at Least . BY LAW your Kids can disobey parents and marry Whoever they Want . convince your family + extended – at Least … it’s your Family not mine .

I personally Knew a dad who PLEADED with his son not to marry a black girl . Had a talK with her … Kept talKing to him … up to the Last Wedding day BUT HE DID anyway . TELLING YOUR KIDS DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK . True story .

Afraid getting too pushy Will bacK Fire on your Kids ? or hope they Find out on their own ? Parents are confused on SF . I can maKe it clear – instruct teach .

many different opinions I read on SF – by example , ” Plant Seeds ” , explain guide , Learn from experience could be too Late . books . movies . use reason ( Logic strategy ) support With Facts . gently Little at a time . Watch TV With them . – ALL OF WHICH MEANS – INSTRUCT LIKE BIBLE SAYS ( use bible strategy ).

I read on SF – by example , make them proud of heritage – most of all . Teaching by example has a problem . Your Kids may misinterpret “ your example “. Perception is everything . What is to be proud of certain White Heritages ?

STRATEGY 17 – Teach many various curriculum . ANYTHING HELPS – ADDS UP to greater – LiKe Strategy 16 , UNDERSTANDING , LEARNING IS RELATIVE .

content curriculum . What to teach Kids ? FolKs on SF never thinK up these things – Abstract concepts , What is human nature , Women’s history – supports argument We are being Lied too , etc

FolKs on SF mention these things – Logic , media bias , use pics , expose immorality , use bible + History fits bible , consequences , Famous History – Famous individuals , etc

on SF , I don’t understand why talking about Hitler or holocaust has anything to do with racial awareness . Avoid nazi label with your Family . What about Jews ? I don’t Know

Today’s Leaflets and Flyers are WAY WAY too brief . If you are gonna distribute , which is RisKy , Why not have MUCH paper per striKe ? The Finder can choose not to read anymore .

others on SF ��do distribution also – Way too short in my opinion . I practiced – better to distribute over a WIDE AREA & over time . It Was a pain to travel .

In UNFAMILIAR , I Jeopardized myself on occasion . once a man asked me What I Was looking for and a terrible answer slipped out in Hospital .

Easier to Just leave it as I stopped along the Way looKing natural . Rule – never out of place . LiKe guerilla . I used the “ convenience striKe ” lazy method .

What is convenience striKe ? – don’t hide fingerprints . inK costs money . use your company’s printer lazy boy . don’t have to be pro .

When opportunities present themselves – always have stapled copies on hand . Either Way there is a chance of being caught .

Any method , besides INSERTS in clothing , newpaper , or library booK , and they maybe Will Know it Was you . The next day , I Went to same store or restaurant , and they Knew it Was me Who did it .

bathrooms are saFe as long as you read using toilet or leave it While PRETENDING to search through my backpack While using baby changing station .

You could use both the dvd + case With cover For 2 separate striKes . cannabalize your dvd collection ? both are in 2 sided sleeve together .

I’ve VERY VERY often pretended that it Was an accident as i PICKED UP MY BACKPACK TO LEAVE . Purses For gals .

I’ve had a Few people return to me “ohh you left something “. Just thanK them story . EYES ALWAYS WATCH , even at night . must pretend .

Some say Just Leave a LinK . Paper is more direct and sharable . No dvd player or internet needed . Who says internet Will exist tomorrow ?

There are no guarantees either . Your Kids may marry black anyway I heard on SF MANY times – until they become “ aware ”. You mean – convinced !

I’ve often read on StormFront – move . moving or going to a private school only decreases the chances of intermingling . Besides , blacks hit on Whites all the time . You can’t be there or Watch over your Kids all the time .

We are being bombarded by media . not Just schools . Teaching shielding is better than moving . or ALL 3 is better – move , school , teach .

HOW TO “ HOMESCHOOL” ? I saw 2 moms sitting down and reading a booK With their Kid at a restaurant that I Frequent . When I Was a Kid , my dad Would read With me . ” I’m so proud of you ” 1 mom + my dad said . Sit down With them .

Why I do this ? I want credit for coming up With these ideas . Literally I am 1 individual Who came up With a Teaching + Legit use bible + other ideas to help Whites .

Some folks on S F complimented . one S F girl PM-ed me – “ GREAT thoughts ! “ exclamation marK too .

IF You LIKE , IF You AGREE , IF You care about beautY – Post plan on S F or

IF You care about Your FamiLY , close Friends – Fast EasY WaY to trY to convince – email this site to them .

Should WorK – Another S F man Pm-ed – “ I visited Your Site . It’s GREAT “.

Who is right ? Wrong ? Lies ? Abuse ? She said no . They Keep doing it ? What is WorKing ? tinasm.com

Reminder – my site is not just teach strategy , but also use bible . convincing starts with Legitimacy .

God said to Samuel – man looKs upon the outward appearance . I don’t . but people do . God said so . Fat , ugly people discrimination will not go away .

Samaritans – Race matters in bible .

only in the Last days , they mingle , but not CLEAVE together – because it goes AGAINST human nature .

Joseph couldn’t eat with his brothers because he was Egyptian .

etc etc + HISTORY FITS bible

E N D O F R A C E S I T E

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because the domain is named after 2 Women ( can’ t change domain name ) , who were also mentioned in my gov’t letter , i must , as they say in Hollywood – have continuity . connect domain to the site’s relevance .

According to Fling , 2 of the most beautiful–est women who ever posed . Why do women need “ bosoms ” LiKe queen Ester – to Win a beauty contest , didn’t she ? Just how potentially beautiful can a White person get ? Fling + my site’s answer

goals – 1. To taunt british Tina Small‘s christianity . LiKe they said in movie ‘ Rocky ‘. To bring her out . The italian chicKen .

Tina – actually – prays in 1 pic ! ? Yet , she poses . only topless Justifies ?

I believe that the early Tina was real , not the Later . computer technology Was not so advanced in 1981 .

+ on internet , i heard people say they met or saw Tina in real Life . Also , for example :

country Walks round Faughcingcester http://www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/s/small/tour.htm

Site probably offends christians . is it a crime to have Tits ?

on ‘ Price is Right ‘, Bob BarKer interviews a busty contestant and audience laughs – she didn’t do nothing !

goal 2 . To prove Roberta is irish . All over internet , they say she is Latvian .

Another goal – maybe she will visit also . Kinda young when she posed . born in 1950 ? Tina + Sarah was still beautiful , even when old .

They say she’s dead , but who believes what they say ? After all , is Tina’s real name Tiny or small ? Logic !

https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberta_Pedon

says – eyes green … under various pseudonyms , including the most note ” melody o‘ Hare “,” Roberta Weaver ”,” mooschi “…

https://br.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=1006052512976

says her nom de plume ” melody o‘Hare ” comes From the name of one of her best friends in Junior high school .

WiKi article ‘ pen name ’– a pen name , nom de plume , or Literary double …… may be used to… disguise …to distance … a pseudonym may be used to protect …

+ 3 magazine covers say her name was Robin .

Melody ? Robin ? was the most photographed Woman of her time . mountains of her pics exist . my point – beauty made her rich .

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badly-drawn-piplup · 8 years ago

Text

An Overabundance of Katherines Chapter Sixteen

I shook my head. Whatever came over Mat, other me, and I (which I guess would be me?) passed. I was free as a bird who just happened to be named Kat. Kat the bird...that had a nice ring to it. I would have to think about using that name the next chance I get.

″WHY DOES THIS HOSPITAL HAVE A CONCERT FLOOR?″ Mat screamed. He must have figured it was the only thing he could do. He was brave. Braver than I. My heart went chika-chika-boom-boom with every step I took forward. I knew that there were zombies close behind us. Perhaps even close in front of us. I looked around for good measure. No zombies on either side. We might have been fine!

″That is a good question,″ other me jotted down verbally, looking at the floor in want of a pencil and paper. ″You would think a hospital's funds would be better allocated toward medical treatment and not a stage for loud music to be played.″

″Yeah, well that would require logic on our part, something that Katherines clearly lack,″ Mat pointed out. I was about to slap Mat for such a comment when Mat added ″well, I guess I am half-illogical, being half-Katherine and all.″

I smiled. Mat was finally realizing his self-worth.

″So, what's the plan, o great Kat?″ Asked the other me, who was beginning to realize my self-worth after only noticing her own beforehand.

I stole her glasses and lab coat for a bit and explained.

″I watched the end of Grease the other night.″ After the air was clear, I placed her glasses back on her face and gave her a passionate kiss for no discernible reason.

So that just happened. I kissed myself. Well, I didn't kiss anything. I was kissed by myself. I would have been more uncomfortable, but I was a little overjoyed once I pieced together what Kat's plan was.

″Why do I have to be Sandra Dee?″ Mat complained, being ever so stubborn. It's not like he had any right to complain. We were getting dressed behind the stage and zombies could show up and peep on us at any moment.

″Because it's a well known fact that I'm a greaser, and thus, must be John Travolta,″ I casually explained even though I shouldn't have bothered because who goes out of their way to explain something so painfully obvious?

″I concur,″ concurred other me. It was only two words, but it meant exactly what it was meant to mean.

″I don't know what concur means, but I'm glad you agree with me,″ I reassured myself until I could hear the other me sigh with such force that the only conclusion to be made was that it was a sigh of approval. All was going according to plan.

ALL WAS NOT GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN. STOP LISTENING TO SUCH A FOOL. IF YOU THINK WE WERE SAFE YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN. KAT DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A SMIDGE OF A PLAN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A SMIDGE IS? DO YOU? DO YOU?

I cleared my throat as I prepared for the role of Sandra Dee. Inhale, exhale. I was nowhere near a good singer, but I knew I could get one thing out.

″HOW IN THE FUDGE IS SINGING A SONG GOING TO STOP A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE?″ I screamed at the top of my lungs, and if I was lucky, at the top of the neighboring girls and zombies' lungs as well.

The Kat from an alternate universe paced around with her index finger on her index chin. She jotted some things down on Kat's notebook, the Kat I was more familiar with, for better or for worse. Then she looked up and spoke, still pacing.

″You see, a song from Grease was what triggered the zombie response in Katherines. So it would only make sense that a song from Grease would undo the zombification and return everyone to normal.″

My mouth was agape. My costume was agape. My hair was agape. The grapes on a neighboring table were also, in fact, agape.

″That makes...no sense.″

″Maybe not to you, but to a Katherinologist, it's the most logical conclusion.″

″Since when are there Katerinologists?″ What world am I living in? Why do I bother questioning things?

″Never mind that. We need to set up the speakers so the zombies can hear us.″

I didn't help the two Kats set up the speakers. I wanted to, but my mind started drifting to me. It felt like a part of me was missing. Particularly, me from an alternate universe. And by part, I mean, several parts that have been devoured by zombies all named Katherine. It just wasn't right. But when life gives you Katherines...

While Mat over there was likely busy emoting, which I totally don't judge him for, but it's really unfair that we're doing all the work while he just stands there, myself and I were busy setting up speakers for the show.

″You think this will work, Kat?″ Me asked me.

″Yeah, I think it will,″ I replied to myself.

″But why this song in particular? I know a song is what turned the Katherines into zombies in the first place, but wouldn't a different song be more fitting?″ I was asked by me.

″Trust me on this one. I would say why, but then the zombies might hear us and devise a counterplan. We can't have that.″

″But the zombies will hear us when the song starts, right?″

″Duh. If we perform and no one's around to see or hear it, did it really happen?″

Damn, I'm so deep sometimes.

Everything was all ready to go except for one thing: there were no zombies to watch us perform. It should have struck me as odd sooner that we had been safe up to that point, but it never quite clicked: the zombies didn't think to look for us on the 20th floor because they were all on the 18th floor and there was no 19th floor. There never was a 19th floor. Why wasn't there a 19th floor?

Sorry.

I digress. The me from this world, who was calling herself ″Kat the Bird″ for no discernible reason, realized the mistake as well, and rectified it.

She grabbed a large tapestry, one that could potentially lead to many parallel universes, but couldn't really.

She grabbed a marker. But not just any marker. One that didn't bleed through the other side of the tapestry and was very soft to the touch when you pressed it down on the paper. She had me write with the marker even though she was the one who grabbed it and not me. She, being the Kat with the plan, told me what to write.

Me, not she, but I am she, too, placed the banner on the ceiling. It read:

ALL YOU CAN EAT BRAINS

on the

20TH FLOOR

Ingenious. Truly ingenious. Within seconds, droves of zombies flooded the venue. There were murmurs amongst the zombies. I could hear things like ″I heard there would be brains,″ and ″all you can eat, too.″

Kat, the one that you all know and love (that's not me), stepped up to the stage from behind the curtains and coughed into the mic, likely to check to see if it was turned on. It was. The zombies were frothing at the teeth just from the sound of a cough.

″I GOT CHILLS, THEY'RE MULTIPLYING,″ Kat screeched as if someone had stepped on her right foot and then stepped on her left for good measure. It was like dropping a box of nails in the middle of a board meeting.

I was standing on the rafters, my work being done. I couldn't quite leave this world just yet, though. Not when I had to make sure this concert went off without a hitch.

″AND I'M LOSING CONTRO-OI-L,″ Kat tried spitting out, having trouble with her enunciation. Singing wasn't exactly my strong suit, but luckily for us all, the zombies were tone deaf.

″'CAUSE THE POWER YOU'RE SUPPLYIN',″ she continued, though clearly running out of breath. I tried messing with the fuse box so that the sound could be amplified further, but accidentally caused a spark which knocked me off the ladder and I ended up falling on the singing Kat, which cushioned my fall about 25%.

″IT'S ELECTRIFYING!″ She screamed and collapsed to the floor. Luckily for us both, Mat stepped up, doing the best Sandra Dee ever.

″YOU BETTER SHAPE UP!″ He instructed us both and we scrambled to our feet.

″'CAUSE I NEED A MAN!″ He commanded and pointed to the audience. Amongst all the zombies was a zombified Mat from my own universe. My universe's Mat was in pretty bad shape but upon hearing that line of lyric made an instant recovery, limbs and all, and jumped onto the stage, becoming the Mat I and the rest of my town knows and loves.

″AND MY HEART IS SET ON YOU!″ Mat as Sandra Dee took Mat as...Mat by the hand and the two started dancing. ″YOU BETTER SHAPE UP! YOU BETTER UNDERSTAND!″ Mat continued, outshining Kat in the singing department. We all shaped up and started dancing. The zombies in the audience started dancing. We were all dancing. It was a good time.

But then, standing in plain sight was a scientist bruised and covered in blood, who threw a discus and knocked the lights out.

″TO MY HEART I MUST BE TRUE!″ The scientist cackled. We didn't even have to see who it was. We all knew: Dr. Frenchie.

We scrambled around the stage, trying to avoid this discus that seemed to have a mind of its own. I noticed something. It wasn't a discus. It was a wheel. Also, it made a moaning sound. That's when I noticed: it was powered by zombie Katherines. It was a Katherine wheel.

Dr. Frenchie jumped onto the stage and held the Katherine wheel with a firm and astute grip.

″NOTHIN' LEFT, NOTHIN' LEFT FOR ME TO DO!″ Dr. Frenchie declared and before we knew it, the surviving scientists showed up, ready to kill us along with the army of zombies who were previously dancing. Also we had to deal with the Katherine wheel, lest we forget.

″YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT!″ The Flashbulb members chanted, ganging up on us.

″OO-OO-OOO,″ chimed in the zombies. I rolled my eyes. We really didn't need their input.

Still, we weren't about to give up the fight, so Mat, Mat, Kat, and I (also Kat), snapped our fingers.

″HONEY, THE ONE THAT I WANT!″ We stepped forward with poise in our eyes.

″OO-OO-OOO,″ the zombies added, this time getting more in the groove and adding ″you are the one that I want″ every so often for added effect.

I looked over to myself, to which I looked at me. We gave each other a determined smile and knew that we had to keep this song up. For the sake of Katherinekind.

#an overabundance of katherines #overabundance of katherines #katherine #katherines #too many katherines #grease #zombies #john travolta #olivia newton john #musical #writing #epwrites #stories #yes this is not an april fools joke #this is the real chapter sixteen #of the real overabundance of katherines #by jahn gren #fishinboatproceeds

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tinasmal-blog · 7 years ago