#ooc. i am the end of everything.
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still one of the best decisions i've ever made :)))
#ooc. i am the end of everything.#( he's just a little guy#also love how often he's been on his ass so far#v v content to have restarted tbh#no regrets even if i have a looooong way to go now to finish#whateverrrrr look at him#my lil rook zev... doin his best )
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why is writing so hard i give up orz
#am i the same person who wrote magenta die cyan bullet (MDCB) and TBT and dissimulation#nothing is coming out right#everything sounds corny and everything i shared for the dissimulation wip is CORNY and bad :(#i wanna delete the entire 4.5k words doc but i wont. i musnt. i might regret it in the morning#it reads horribly and its way too ooc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#end me. end me#ill just read mdcb before i sleep then maybe thatll help me realise what im doing wrong because im always doing something wrong#zuri rambles
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i honest to god wonder when i can get a fucking break. i don’t know shit about my car. the fucking asshole who hit me won’t even give me his insurance shit. it looks like i’ll be alone on christmas because my uncle probably won’t be doing christmas eve. my aunt was completely wrong and i am in fact vastly and incredibly alone. i haven’t even had the chance to put up a christmas tree because it’s an incredible amount to do by myself and no one can come help me. the wreath on my front door? won’t stay up so there goes that i guess. at least i put down grave blankets. i feel like i’m the most irritating fucking person on the face of the earth. i wish with such incredible intensity i could just disappear but i have to go to work to a job that i can’t even take a week off from.
#ooc. o kaptain.#negativity /#[I’ve absolutely hit breaking point and I’m genuinely sorry to everyone. idk anymore. writing doesn’t make me feel better because I can’t#ever seem to do it consistently for a plethora of reasons. video games barely help. I love my job but at the end of the day I am just some#stranger to all these people and I go home. and I have no one here. by this point I’m just… existing day to day to day and I don’t even know#why anymore. and absolutely no one gives a real fuck when it comes down to it because I am just an insignificant part of their life. which#is no fault of anyone’s I’ve just been…. idk incredibly unlucky. I don’t know. I’m quiet unless I do replies I guess. it’s taking everything#in me not to just delete this but genuinely…. I feel so fucking empty and all I want to do is grieve but no one will let me.]
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playing around in my drafts tonight but threads are going into the (paused) queue, meanwhile i'll be posting any asks i finish
#i have some answers like. half written. so i might get to those tonight might not idk#rn i'm working on starters i haven't replied to yet but after that it's probs gonna be whatever vibes i'm feeling most#but i think doing it this way will balance out the need for instant gratification vs saving things so i can get caught up#might end up needing to drop some stuff again ngl.... drafts are almost at 70 again bc i keep collecting new stuff#but in my defense!!!! i can't get enough threads with y'all!!!!! i want to write everything with everyone all at once!!!!#and i'm severely lacking in impulse control!!!!!#but yeah i'm. i'm trying guys i really am#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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have to admit it following that last post, if we're shipping im 9/10 times rereading the media and looking at certain parts through a ship tinted glass set. i put it on the dash sometimes rather than dms because i'm extremely nervous that i'm going to come off as too much but, you know, i'm working on that.
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#not to get too deep on main but i always worry not messaging as opposed to posting on dash makes me seem less interested#but its more like me wanting to express it in a way my partner knows im constantly thinking of them and their muse :^) i wanna get more int#sending fanart / hcs / things that make me soft bc then it stops me from wroking with a 50+ bookmark section dgfhdjsdhss#shipping means a lot to me because in turn the other muns portrayal / oc becomes even MORE important to me than before. and my muse as well#this is why i become hesitant if it feels like someone is shipping more for just the /character/ than my portrayal of them.#( which is super valid btw! you should inact everything on your blog for you. not someone elses taste! )#it just. really doesn't work well with me and i usually would take a step back if thats how you felt#the reason why i have so many random oocs or very large rel pinterest boards bc i am constantly thinking of them#if i messaged my partners as much as i thought about them id worry theyd end up with so many messages itd feel overwhelming#i blame old friends but if thats something people like ... then maybe ...#i have a few messages to get to so i might spend the rest of the night working on those <3
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// ooc post- Hi! As much as I love the drawn out format of Greyed Walls, I will unfortunately have to stop. it's probably very easy to tell my motivation for this Completely Fucking Died, which- fair enough! It's been over a month... good lord.
Future posts will be in an entirely written format, much more detailed than the dialogue-only posts from before however!
I did want to continue drawing things out- because I've had so many ideas, but those ideas haven't been able to see the light of day because of my lack of motivation... and honestly I think if I continued trying to draw for this event it would never finish.
BUT. @ghostplasmas asked if they could make a comic for the ending, and so far it's been absolutely amazing. Thanking them forever for their help Please give them lots of love, annd look forward to that! :3
#ooc#// I'm sure you're all as tired of Greyed walls as I am#// ...fun fact. It was supposed to last for a week total. The fox. paris. Everything was supposed to be a week. maybe a week and a half#// ...well we see how that turned out#// I'm not in any rush to finish however- don't feel bad about sending asks I love asks and WILL try to get to them all before it ends
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#(( ooc. ))#negativity tw#venting tw#sorry for bad vibes on the dash today again#will delete this in a sec just lemme vent#so. i bought all the food for thanksgiving....#i cooked it all. his only contribution was rinsing half of the potatoes. peeling 2 carrots. and opening a couple cans for me#even the turkey that was supposed to be his to handle i ended up doing#bc he severely undercooked it so i had to step in to fix that and make sure it cooked properly#and then he said 'okay. you did all the cooking. i'll clean up.'#................... nope. guess who handled that too#while he was just sitting at the table after he was done#i'm the one that put all the food away. wiped down everything. filled the dishwasher#and got it going. gathered up all the other dishes and put them by the sink to wash#so to recap. i bought all the food. made all the food. and cleaned up after the entire meal#if i sound bitter its because i am#when i pointed out that i was having to clean up everything when he said he would his response was just 'sorry i'm such a useless hubby'#i mean yeah kinda#couple all this with the fact that i'm also the one who was up until midnight last night. on my bday. and on my period and exhausted#doing a ton of housework that he was supposed to handle. including cat litter which flares up my asthma when i do it#but i didn't have a choice. just masked up and did it myself bc its not fair to the fluffy bbys if i just let it slide and wait#for him to do it. bc that might be a few days.#sorry to bitch on the dash like this but just. the last couple days especially have been disappointing#between him flubbing my big 30 bday yesterday and now this today......... i'm really over it#gonna be lurking here and pretending i'm not pissed off
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Your writing hurts my eyes and my brain
Well, maybe try gettin' bettah eyes! and a bettah brain!! I write per-fect-ly good!
#tf2#tf2 scout#runner replies#runner rambles#// ooc hey if readability is genuinely an issue do tell me with a /srs at the end of the ask! Im trying to get it to read like scout but#// mispelling everything would be a pain to read AND write and not fun so I'm trying to strike a balance and write his accent phonetically#// to get the voice across but still be bearable. if the accent is a bit too rough I can tone it down!! i am open to feedback :D
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The episodes at the baratie are good if you ignore the big fucking elephant in the room that is sanji. Which is you know not a thing that can be easily ignored
#and everything is so in your face have we tried subtetly#those boots are ugly af zoro.... not a boot transition....#sanji made riceballs............ there is zosan even before they talk to each other.... it is real to me......#there is zosan everywhere for those with the eyes to see it#the waddy itchy monkey#luffy spirialing ajdhajshssjj my boy.....#their meeting is so ass.......the oregano callback....#they need to get okay with hitting children sometimes or we arent making it to wano#zeff lost his spice double belt in the storm :(((#you know they could have gotten away with it if sanji just witnessed zoros fight... like that is the whole point.... zosan moment missing#critical one even#luffy listening to a backstory OOC!!!!!!#koby telling garp luffy will always be a pirate.... where is his fist of love#nami saying she always ends up hurting the people close to her.... that is NOT it#sanji didnt need to take off his shirt for that....#no soft measures we will capture them. what was the plan before lmao#theyve got brunch at the baratie so modern#this was funny at least. I AM LEAVING WITH LUFFY. SURE YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION. and they are both still angry#well you know luffy abandonment issues in here are done early and big#also where is carne#talking tag#watching opla#like sanji leaves put of spite... is that it...#literally sanji and zeff watching zoro fight and making two comments would have fixed it.... bc sanji would understand there why zeff#wants him gone.... without zeff explaining it
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it's taken me talking to 1 person for like... 3 minutes to come to the conclusion imma remake this blog. i got wicked into the hype and allure when the game dropped and leapt headfirst in without thinking. bit off way more than i can chew with moots and that's okay! this isn't against anyone, but i've sort of been reminded why i keep to myself. sooo... just a heads up. i'm gonna be changing url etc when i move. it's for my meager sanity. 🫡
#update.#ooc. i am the end of everything.#( idk man... i suddenly feel like in on stage in my underwear#a whole lot of eyes on me#i'll be doing this tonight#i've been having fun but i'm too...#idk anxious? about so many people in my sphere#i am but a lil guy )
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x. so a while ago i said i was going to remake this blog but, after messing around a bit with a new location, i decided that i just want to shake the dust off of this one and jump right in. mainly because 1. i love this version of artie and i think he is still perfect for the tumblr format and 2. the new character / version of artie i have been brewing over the last two years is a relatively different character entirely, and i did not want to use this brand for a new concept. that being said, i have not touched this blog in a writing capacity for 4 years now, so i am rusty to everything on tumblr by all accounts. however! i will be spending the holidays cleaning up this blog and my followers list before posting again under my brand. i am excited to explore arthur j. branham more and continue his development after so many years!
#( ooc. )#( everything has changed and idk how to do anything anymore but i am here! )#( the new character is a high fantasy version of arthur under the moniker “zephyriel” )#( he has the same compassion as this artie but everything else about him is different. i actually made him for a fantasy book i am writing#( so there is so much to unpack there---just doesnt feel like the same muse at the end of the day )#( and looking back on the old days---i would very much like to continue to grow this arthur again! )#( zeph may still appear one day. blog is built but need to work on his “tumblr” story since i dont really want to spoil my book ideas )#( meanwhile! i will be sprucing up artie! )#( excited to be back and try this again! )
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oh yeah i totally wanted to get mauled today for an entire half hour.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[absolutely love when the parents of neurodivergent kids decide to be half an hour late and i am ABSOLUTELY paying for their#irresponsibility lmfao this is the THIRD TIME they’ve been late this week alone. I don’t want to get home before 8 pm it’s all good. I don’t#need any time ever to live right????? I’ll just go pick up food take care of everything else go grocery shopping and get home at 9 pm!#THATS JUST FINE RIGHT. i swear to god. I swear to god. I need this fucking week to end. I am in pain and I’m exhausted and I want to cry.]
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anyone else ever get overwhelmed when faced with having to put groceries away or is that just me
#if ur ever wondering why i'm slow at or not replying to messages#or doing much of anything really#this is the reality of why. i am paralyzed while standing in front of all the bags of groceries.#i am overthinking it and overstimulating myself and it's just the worst this is literally why i can't function i overcomplicate EVERYTHING#existing is hard. why is just existing so hard???#shouldn't it be the easiest thing ever??#anyway i'm. yeah idfk where i'm at mentally tonight lmf i'm gonna try to poke at those asks in a while but#i might also just end up in existential crisis like i did last night (':#grateful as all hell once again for all your guys' patience with me idk why any of yall put up with me atp aksjfhds#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.#personal cw
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before i leave the house, may i just say the motivation and temptation to bring in chiyo’s “ friend ” from her bnha verse as a muse on my multi sideblog… oh it’s growing 👁️👁️
#and i am cooking!!! like drawing from the idea i had before where she would work with the police and go undercover and whatnot#i’m thinking that has something to do with how terribly things end with her friend#her friend had grand plans and chiyo couldn’t let them happen — but she had the chance to get close again#and that made everything worse bc chiyo’s betrayal hurt that much more and pushed her friend over the edge#i know i said i wanted mystery but the cogs are turning and i must expel!!!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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comes crawling out the ether like an eldritch creature. hello.
#☽—— ⸢ ooc ⸥#.tbd.#i've been trapped between like.#in a good mood: hyperfixates for hours on end on video games#and in a bad mood: weird sleep schedule too busy no time only time to watch nature documentaries and rot#also YEAH i got on disco.rd a couple times and then failed to form the habit. bear with me#anyway i dooooo think im going to write today because i'm taking a break from the si.ms blog for a few days#everything will be queued and i plan to work via a number generator#which is not to imply i'll be replying to 50 things i am NOT that person#if i finish 2 i will be happy. 4? i'm a god kjfhdskdsjhs#like i'd love more but you get me. slow rper. overthinks everything. has to be perfect.#anyway who missed me i missed y'all
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As I've stated before, it's looking more and more that Mayday will become my primary and only muse (as evident by way of my coming on here just to ~W/ill Sm/ith pose~ @ Mayday before promptly peacing out). Eddie might as well have been a test since he's my first ever male muse. I should have made that clear to begin with since I've always solely written female muses on this site. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy what threads I had going for him and the drafted ones as well as the plots, but it's for the best that I not continue anything when the muse is ____ at this point. I am sorry to those I had the pleasure of writing with and those I'd talk to on here. I will of course follow anyone who still wants to interact on Mayday once everything is set. For now, plotting is open on discord.
#got a bit sappy and i know i shouldn't apologize for what is a decision i myself am making and we're all adults here so#anyways! this will be on rotation till the first of October cause everything should be in place before then if not I HAVE FAILED HER#yes I keep saying I'll be on discord but end up either playing a game or closing my eyes to then find myself waking up to birds chirping#ooc → ⟨ 𝐆𝐨𝐝𝐳𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭 ⟩
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