#ooc// all of my pets are dumb actually

[childofwr4th]

I heard you loves cats wanna hug mine :>?

Yes please!! :]

[xiaoriae]

TERMS OF ENDEARMENT.

pairing. neuvillette & wriothesley x gn!reader (separate) ★ genre. established relationship au & fluff. ★ wc. 1.2k

synopsis. calling out the fontaine men by their pet names!

contents. pet names (reader's: dear, darling, etc.), lovestruck neuvillette :( , may contain an inaccurate description of the melusine's tail bcs i'm dumb, a really minimal spoiler from the 4.0 archon quest (regarding hydro dragon and rain) in neuvillette's, mention of sedene (the melusine outside neuvie's office), neuvillette just wants his kith >:( , wriothesley might be ooc bcs we all love him despite not knowing him yet, mentions of sigewinne in wrio's, made-up [1] fontaine law and background setting, and an assumption of sigewinne is the one who often treats wrio's injuries(?).

a/n. first, idk who to pull for; either neuvi or wrio bcs i alr have hydro and cryo dps :cries: but srsly, the v4.1 trailer has me on my knees for these two men (in a respectful manner of course).

support banner and animated line dividers by @/cafekitsune on tumblr.

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄

neuvillete would never admit it out loud.

how you left him in awe every time he heard you calling out for his attention—monsieur neuvillette in a formal setting, but instead referring him as neuvie when in private.

something about it had always made neuvillette's chest just a little bit tightened at the way the name rolled off your tongue oh-so-eloquently, and he often found himself staring at your lips a second longer than what everyone would consider as appropriate.

oh, how he would love to peck your lips, feeling them against his, even for a brief moment.

it was an embarrassing thought sitting at the little corner of his mind. he was ashamed at how easily you had him on your mercy.

"neuvie," your voice came out a tad bit softer after seeing him spacing out—in which was totally not a norm to see him staring far ahead and at you, though not until recently.

"are you alright, love?"

he swore he felt his heart dropped. it was a double kill to him, who recently figured out that he loved you more than he initially thought he would. how endearing of you to call him with such names, it was cute. a perfect adjective to describe you.

"nothing, dear," his voice resonated through the room, and you realised how he looked at the perfect weather illuminating his office through the window.

you looked at him back, skeptical as to why the corner of his mouth seemed to form a fine curve, but you shrugged the feeling as soon as it came. maybe he was happy, considering the sunny and chilly weather outside.

and his feeling mattered to you the most.

"monsieur neuvillette," you called him out again.

this time, neuvillette could barely hide the frown that was about to form on his face. why did you call him that? why the sudden change of attitude? he was confused. especially when he felt the soft touches on his hair.

you were patting his head, occasionally fixing his hair as neuvillette slightly leaned in to feel the warmth only you could exude.

"it is about time for today's trial, chief justice. lady furina must have been waiting for you at the opera house," you gently reminded him, feeling the way his shoulders tensed.

oh—how stupid of him, he thought. he finally understood why you called him by his title, there was sedene all along at the door.

the melusine looked at both of you in amusement, he could tell by the way her tail was wagging.

"another minute, dear?" his voice was low enough, seemingly to avoid the melusine's attention as he sighed.

you beamed a small smile at him, making neuvillette felt ten times heavier to let go of you and go to the court. "no, neuvie," you rubbed soft circles at the back of his hand, and neuvillette fought the urge to intertwine his finger with yours.

he fought the urge to kiss you on your lips—his name sounded so precious coming out from you. it actually pained his heart at how irreplaceable you were in his life. 

"after the court session is over, we can cuddle all we want, yeah?" you pecked his cheek, and neuvillette thought he could die happily if this was the treatment he would get—a reward worth billions of mora if this was what you gave him from cherishing and loving you.

and he would love to hear and love you forever.

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘

inside the fortress of meropide, the only person that could make wriothesley's burdens felt lighter was you, and only you. to see that you enjoyed your time being here—although the fortress was everything except fun and colours—and sometimes helped sigewinne with her infirmary stuff, he felt a part of him was proud at how kind and brave you were. 

wriothesley loved looking at you teasing and babying sigewinne. it was another trait that made him clicked with you so well—despite his profession and the countless dangers he might have brought along.

he remembered the first time you insisted to tag along with him to the infamous underwater prison. no one could enter and exit the fortress whenever they wanted, and you managed to prove him wrong. now that your reputation was well-known within the area, it seemed that the law on permitting outsiders to get into the fortress with thorough screening process didn't really seem to be applicable to you.

every garde recognised you. every staff and people and melusine alike—all had acknowledged you in their work space.

so when you introduced yourself as wriothesley's other half, it was understandable that your name made it in the headlines and became the monthly issue from the steambird.

'after all, the duke doesn't really seem to be the lover type, isn't he?'

"hi, handsome," you waved at wriothesley, who seemed to just finish with an interrogation session with one of the criminals. a stack of papers was in his grip.

his eyes widened at the way you called him with that word which often failed to not make his heart thumped against his chest.

"good evening, darling," he scoffed when he felt the way his voice almost cracked. the random terms of endearment you threw at him had always made his actions cut short and his words to be stuck in his throat. "what are you doing here? did i not say to go back home at 5? it is late."

"mhm," you hummed.

pointing at the clipboard in your right hand which wriothesley had realised was there all along, you explained yourself. "was running an errand for sigewinne. the poor nurse had some troubles so i lent a hand or two," you said while tapping wriothesley's shoulder thrice, feeling proud of yourself for contributing a cent around the fortress.

you then involuntarily fixed his tie, still giving him the proud smile you often wore.

wriothesley sent you a soft smile at that, contradicting the multitude of scars littered across his body.

of course his favourite person was the one who was kind enough to help sigewinne—it was as if you silently repaid sigewinne's past deeds of treating his injuries. how could anyone would not love you for that, he thought.

your heart swelled at the sight. your partner was quite soft at heart when he smiled, despite the roughness he portrayed.

you were staring at his face with those sparkles he never knew could exist in one's eyes. it was too much, but wriothesley thought he would just mentally appreciate the pure loving look you gave him.

"this will do. now my man looks dashing as always."

it took him exactly three seconds to understand what you meant. you were fixing his appearance, and he felt his face became a little bit warmer. my man, he unconsciously repeated the words in his mind.

if sigewinne saw the two of you being so lovey dovey in public—well, maybe both of you were done for.

"the gesture is very much appreciated, darling," he chuckled.

"you are very welcome, sir," you replied, mimicking the small chuckles he sent towards you.

"since both of us have already worked overtime, let us grab a bite?" you swung your arm around his, interlocking with the arm that often held you with such gentleness.

"alright," wriothesley gave in to your suggestion, long forgotten where he should be heading before crossing his path with you. "let us go on a date."

all rights reserved © xiaoriae 2023 strictly on tumblr only. any form of wrongdoings under the copyright law is strictly prohibited.

[spirit-lanterns]

IT'S THE ALCOHOL TALKING

synopsis: various hsr women when they're drunk.

featuring: serval, stelle, tingyun, fu xuan, asta, bronya

rating: sfw (anyone can interact)

warnings: fem reader, fluff, crack, mentions of alcohol and getting drunk (everyone is of drinking age). very ooc personalities for the girls as they are drunk. pet names, slight pet play (asta), feral tingyun, established relationships.

art credits: bloom into you

SERVAL

“And this so— (hic) is dedicated to my wonderful, beautiful, adorable, most bestest and kindest girlfriend ever—”

When Serval gets drunk, she sings. But the way she sings is less in a badass way and more in a “she took too many shots” kinda way, because your girlfriend was currently doing drunk karaoke at the bar with everyone cheering and shouting. Her body going through a whole workout plan as she was putting her heart and soul into this performance.

You knew you should stop her before she got hurt, but how could you when she was just so cute and screaming her love for you. “Yeahhhhh everyone scream for my girlfriend! She’s the best!” Serval would yell, accidentally causing the mic to screech but not caring because even in her less sober state, she still loved you unconditionally.

“Oh Aeons…” you laughed into your hand and blushed when the rockstar winked in your direction. Yelling the lyrics of some dumb love song while swaying back and forth with the mic. “You’re doing great, sweetie!” 

Serval smiled broadly at your shout and raised her arms in the air, feeling like the luckiest woman in the world. 

“Wooooo!”

Oh. Oh no…

And then Serval body slammed onto a table. A loud crash echoed throughout the bar as everyone stopped shouting while you ran over to check if she was okay. 

“Serval? Serval!” 

Your girlfriend swayed for a bit as she slowly looked up at you in a daze. Her body was still getting used to the crash and the alcohol, but even then, she looked up at you and gave you a lopsided grin.

“Oh…you’re pretty. But I have a girlfriend.” she murmured, giggling to herself while gently pushing your hand away.

“I am your girlfriend, silly.” You chuckle, gently lifting her up and brushing her hair back to make sure she wasn’t bruised. “Are you okay, baby?” 

Drunk Serval paused, an even deeper blush growing on her face as she didn’t respond. 

“…Oh.”

She seemed in awe at how she actually had a girlfriend, and you giggled before lifting her up to her feet. “Come on silly, let’s get you home. You drank too much.”

When you kissed her cheek, Serval blushed even more and looked at you with wide eyes. Seemingly falling in love with you all over again…

STELLE

“Baby…”

Stelle would cling to you needily and look up at you with big puppy dog-like eyes. Whimpering as she begged you to let her do the one thing she loved doing the most.

Dumpster diving.

“No Stelle, you just took a shower.” You hummed, tapping your girlfriend’s cheek and taking another sip of alcohol. “Besides, I let you dumpster dive earlier today. You emptied out three whole trash cans before we came out here.”

Stelle whined and looked over at the dumpster outside the bar. After having way too many sips of alcohol with you, Stelle began feeling the side effects as every dumpster and trash can she saw looked like a playground. That, and she started getting more and more clingy with you, wrapping her arms around your waist and nuzzling into your neck by the bar. 

“Please…” she mumbled, practically smothering her body against you like a giant teddy bear. “I want…nnh…wanna jump in…”

Her speech was getting a little slurred and you sighed as you realized your precious Stelle was getting drunk, meaning you’d have to leave sooner or later anyways. 

“…One. Dumpster.” You say with a sigh. 

Stelle’s eyes lit up and she immediately started kissing your cheek. Usually Stelle would be too shy to do PDA with you in crowded areas, but she was just too drunk and too happy to care. “Thank you!” She mumbled against your cheek, giving it an affectionate little nibble before running off to dive headfirst into the trash.

You chuckled at the sight and made sure to keep watch so she wouldn’t hurt herself. Your girlfriend having a blast as she stumbles around in the dumpster pulling out various items she found interesting. 

After a few minutes of dumpster diving, your girlfriend tumbled out of the bin with trash sticking to her hair. “Oof!” Despite that however, she excitedly ran up to you and hugged you. “Baby look, look. I found a new blender…!”

You tried to keep your laughter in as she held up a blender that was not only broken, but was missing its blades. You didn’t have the heart to tell her it was useless, so you just patted her head and praised her. “Good job, baby. You did so well.”

She smiled and closed her eyes, nuzzling you as the effects of alcohol started taking over again and making her clingy. “Can we go home now? I want to add this to my collection…”

Before you could even respond, Stelle ends up slumping against your arms and sleepily kissing your neck. Heat building up in your face as Stelle was never this affectionate with you in public…

“Pfft, okay.” You chuckle, patting your girlfriend on the head, “Let's go home.” 

TINGYUN

“Off! Back off!”

Tingyun hissed at yet another stray cat while her tail was raised high in the air. The most unholiest of feral fox sounds emitting from your girlfriend as she screamed at any animal that even so much as dared look at you. 

“Tingyun dear, I think that’s enough soju for now…” you gently pulled the glass away from her and watched as she glared holes into the poor dog passing by on the street. Her teeth poked out from between her lips like she was getting ready to attack, nails gripping the hardwood table before you calmed her down with a hug. 

“Tingyun, I’m right here.” you hummed into her ear, planting a comforting kiss on her cheek. “I’m not in any danger.” 

“Yes, because I am protecting you…!” Tingyun slurred, her tail swaying back and forth before standing upright at the sight of a bird. “Away! Shoo! Shoo!” 

Tingyun was definitely one of the most unique types of drunks you’d ever have the pleasure of seeing, as she would get awfully protective of you whenever there were animals present. It was like the foxian side of her had taken over once alcohol entered her system, and while it was entertaining, you did worry for Tingyun’s reputation…

“Pfft, alright dear. Thank you for protecting me from the scary bird,” you cupped her face and pulled her towards you, giggling at the sight of her scrunched up and pouty face. “You’re so brave. I am just simply awestruck at what an amazing girlfriend you are.”

You kiss the top of her nose and Tingyun’s face starts going pink, her tail slowly wagging in praise as she stares lovingly at your eyes. 

“I love you…” she purrs out, her drunk-dazed eyes going half lidded like a cat. 

“I love you too.” You giggle, cupping her face as you lean in to kiss her fully this time. Closing your eyes and ready to claim her lips when—

HISSSSS

Not again! 

You grabbed Tingyun’s face before she could get up and pulled her down towards you. “Oh no you don’t, we are going home.” You quickly kiss her on the lips and distract her long enough to drag her away from the bar. Your foxian girlfriend whining and trying her best to squirm out of your grasp but to no avail.

“Let me go! Baby, let me go!” 

She nibbled on your arm as you dragged her away and you sighed, patting her fluffy ears while taking her drunk ass all the way home. 

FU XUAN

“Yeah that’s right, she’s (hic) mine…”

Fu Xuan was currently sitting on your lap and glaring at everyone like a feisty kitty who wouldn’t let go of a toy. She had her brows furrowed and tensed in an angry way while she gripped your shoulders to show ownership, her body swaying in a way that indicated to you that your girlfriend was getting drunk.

“Oh, Fu Xuan…” you chuckled, feeling her forehead to see if she was getting sweaty. “Are you getting tipsy?”

“Of course not. I’m (hic) perfectly sober, my love.”

You raised a brow and tried to hide the smirk growing on your face. My love? Since when did Fu Xuan get so affectionate? It was almost like she was lying straight to your face…

“Are you?” You teased, holding her tightly by the waist. “You’re hiccuping, little bunny…”

“I just need more water!” She quickly spat out, before taking another shot of soju which she thought was water. “Nngh! Why is water so bitter?”

“That’s soju, love.” You chuckled, pulling the shot glass away from her hand. “I think you’ve had enough to drink, why don’t we go home?” You pat Fu Xuan’s head and giggle when she starts to pout. “I don’t want to move…” she mumbles, plopping her head into your boobs. “Darling feels good…”

Your heart speeds up when she says this and you can’t help but hold in a squeal. How cute, perhaps drunk Fu Xuan can stay for a little while longer—

No, you shouldn’t. As her girlfriend, the right thing to do is to take her home and take care of her. You sigh and gently hoist her up in your arms, Fu Xuan panicking for a moment as she wraps her legs around your waist. 

“Wha— darling the floor is falling—”

“I’m just standing up.”

She immediately clings to your neck and holds on to you tightly, slowly closing her eyes as she feels herself getting nauseous. “Don’t drop me. You hear?”

“Yes darling, I hear.” You chuckle, keeping your arms firmly under her thighs while you begin carrying her out of the bar. “Try not to look up too much, we don’t want you getting dizzy and throwing up on my back.”

Fu Xuan gives you a hissy glare and just blushes before hugging you close. “I won’t throw up…I never throw up…” 

She begins grumbling to herself and you smile at the sight. Patting the back of her head while the two of you head home together. 

ASTA

“Awe Peppy you’re so cute! Who’s a good boy? Oh who’s my good boy?” 

Asta cooed and drunkenly squished your cheeks together while calling you Peppy and patting your head. You, her girlfriend. Her loving and doting girlfriend who was very much human and very much not a dog. 

“Asta—” you chuckled, “I’m not Peppy.”

“My Peppy is so big and strong…!” Asta grinned, rubbing your cheeks together while peppering your face in sweet, gentle kisses. “The sweetest and cutest canine ever oh yes you are…”

You rolled your eyes at how silly your girlfriend was being and just went along with it. Deciding to tease her a bit by playing along with her little charade.

“Woof.”

Asta squealed and kissed your face even more, taking another swig of her alcoholic beverage while scratching underneath your chin. “Ohhh if only your other mommy could see you now…” Asta sighed, unaware that her girlfriend was literally right there. “Hm, perhaps I should send her a video.”

Asta whipped out her phone and began recording you while still believing you were Peppy. “Okay Peppy! Let’s send mommy a little video to show her how cute you are being. Come on, say hi to mommy!”

“…Woof.”

You couldn’t help but smile when Asta got so excited, patting your head in praise while going “good boy…!” Into the camera. Oh how embarrassed she will be once she finds the video in her camera roll the next morning, you couldn’t wait.

After a few more minutes of playing the little dog shenanigans with your girlfriend, you finally decided that it was getting late and Asta definitely needed to head back to bed. 

“Sigh, okay Asta. I think it’s time we head back home, hm?” You chuckle, finally breaking out of your Peppy act charade. “You’ve had quite a few drinks already…”

Asta tilted her head when she saw you getting up to leave, and her mind instantly went to Peppy once more.

“Oh? Does Peppy want to go home now?” Asta hums, smiling and taking your hand. “Don’t forget your leash!” 

Wait, what?

And then out of nowhere she whips out a leash and clips the collar to your neck, surprising you as you had no idea that Asta carried around a leash at all times. 

“Come on boy! Let’s go home to mommy!”

She gave the leash a little tug and you sighed with no choice but to follow her. Asta skipping happily beside you with you chuckling beside her in return. 

BRONYA

“…”

You were getting worried for your girlfriend as she had been staring at the wall in silence for the past six or so minutes. No pressure, Bronya was usually quiet when invited to bars like this one, but she never was this quiet and it was starting to worry you a little.

“…Bronya?”

You poke her cheek.

“Bronya?”

She blinks and slowly turns to you, eyes wide like a cat who got into some catnip as she seemed to be lost in another world. 

“There is a train that can travel through universes.”

Ah, so it’s one of those nights. The kind of nights where Bronya would get lost in the dark abyss of her mind and say the most random, deep things that would have her questioning her sanity by the time you pull her out of the bar. 

“Mhm, the Astral Express is capable of doing that.” You chuckle, trying to downplay how deep her thoughts really were. “Uhm…baby?”

Bronya was still staring in silence as she was now looking at the ice cubes melting in her drink. She usually got like this whenever she was sleep deprived or blanking out, but today it was especially prominent as Bronya took one too many sips of her beverage whilst sitting at the bar with you.

“Darling, do you think other universes could come to Belobog and fix our Fragmentum problem?” Bronya said while spacing out, the gears in her mind rolling as she slowly took another sip of her drink. “Aeons, we should’ve told the Astral Express crew to bring back some people. Perhaps the people at the Herta Space Station could help us. Or— I believe they are people…”

Bronya paused again and her eyes got wide.

“Darling…do aliens exist? Are the people at the Herta Space Station actually people?”

She gasped and suddenly turned to face you.

“The Astral Express crew. Do they count as aliens too?!”

You quickly shut her up with a kiss before she could get too deep in her alien vs human conspiracies. Your girlfriend squeaking and blushing before finally calming down in your hold. 

“Bronya, sweetie. It’s very late, and as cute as you are rambling about aliens and conspiracy theories, I think it’s time we head back home.” You slowly pulled the drink away from her and helped her stand up from her seat. “Come on, you can borrow my coat. It’s cold out.”

Bronya flushed when you wrapped your coat around her while the two of you began walking back home. The Supreme Guardian leaning against your shoulder affectionately as a comfortable silence falls between you. 

“…Do penguins have knees?”

“Oh Aeons.”

[chuuyasheaven]

♡ One of your girls tonight. ♡

Tags: fem! Dazai Osamu / fem! Reader, lesbian sex, pet names (darling, princess, sweetheart), praising, fingering, slight teasing, making out mentioned, nipples getting licked (guess who), neck kissing, hickeys?, overstimulation, dirty talk, porn w/o any plot idk, strap use (first time writing this), ooc? Dazai, might contain grammar errors, rushed, SHORT., etc.

Notes: @heluvaku idk bruh enjoy !!

All you remember is going to some random club after a messy break-up, only trying to have fun. After being there for like 2 hours just sitting there on the bar, you noticed her. A beautiful woman, long brown locks resting on her shoulders, few bandages covering her body and her pretty red lips. Feeling entranced by her, you got closer to her. If only you knew what you got yourself into, not like you complained, the complete opposite actually. .

Back at her place you guys were kissing eachother passionately, she was on top of you while you laid under her, her red lipstick smudging your lips. She let go of your lips, looking at you seductively. Dazai lowered her head again until her breath was hitting your neck, leaving a few kisses and maybe hickeys here and there. Deciding it was enough, she was looking at your chest, from which she took the shirt off, your tits out for her to suck on. Her warm breath hitting your nipples before it disappeared inside her mouth, sucking on it and teasing it with her tongue. "Feels good, darling?", Dazai asked before going down on the other. "F–fuckkk.", was all what left your mouth.

Your nipples were drenched with her spit, even some of her smudged lipstick on your tits. Since you were only in your panties right now, she let her fingers trace over your body until she stopped at your panties' waistband. Only to leave it on and slid between your legs, pushing your panties to the side for easy entrance. Dazai's fingers were long and slim, her moves were delicate, making you feel like you never have before. With some moans slipping from you, she curled her fingers to unlock more. "Ah— D–dazai. .", you managed to say, she looked at you with a teasing expression. "What is it, sweetheart?", you gulped before answering, her fingers hitting your cervix.

"I'm g–gonna—", you gasped before your climax washed over you. How did you cum that fast? Probably because no one made you feel so good, not even your good for nothing ex boyfriend. "Good girl, think you're ready for the main course?", you automatically nodded immediately, she stood up and went to get something. When Dazai returned, she held a strap, you never knew you could wet this fast. As she finally got everything set, she inserted it into you, slowly and gently first so you could adjust. You never knew that there were sizes like that. While she waited inside you, she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, after she just let her finger run up and down your thigh.

Soon you gave her the sign to move and she did, going slow at first. It felt so good, barely even started and you were already a mess. The way it hit spots you didn't even know about drove you crazy. As Dazai picked the speed up, you got louder, with the orgasm from earlier you were already sensitive enough. "D–dazai, please. . f–feels good– hah!", her grip on your waist got slightly harder, pleasure starting to take over her. "F–fuck, keep moaning my name like that and I'll never stop, princess.", in middle of the heat in the moment your phone rang, but you didn't hear, Dazai was your main focus right now. Dazai noticed but didn't say anything, she needed to make you cum again. Your cunt clenched around her strap signaling that your second release was nearing itself.

"I'm not gonna stop until you're going dumb on me, alright, pretty girl? I'm gonna make you forget about everything but me. ."

This was rushed but ngh I need her so bad. </3

[eddiediazismyhusband]

This is what gets me when people write in depth analysis about how dumb they would be to not go there with queer Eddie and with Buddie. Like yes, I agree it would be incredibly stupid and bad writing - unfortunately as much as I want that to reassure me(and I’ll admit some days when I’m sad and need to not be I pretend to let it), it doesn’t. Just because it would be stupid and bad writing doesn’t mean they won’t do it. We’ve seen this show repeatedly make bad writing choices before. I’ve watched TV shows time and time again screw things up in the eleventh hour, I’ve seen so many shows set things up and then take a hard left turn into the dumbest plots in existence. And they get backlash for it but still do it. So as much as I want to believe that because logic and basic literary analysis says Eddie is queer and Buck and Eddie are each others’ best match - that isn’t a guarantee of anything. I’m also preparing myself that if we actually do get a queer Eddie storyline and buddie canon - there is a high possibility that they stumble through it in a ridiculous and poorly written way. I want more than anything for that not to be true but it is still a very distinct possibility.

this is exactly my feelings- like one of my biggest pet peeves are people making posts as if buddie is 10000% happening and there is absolutely zero possibility of it not going that way which i’m sorry to be a debbie downer once again but that’s just not true

what kills me is everyone in the fandom keeps talking about “it’d be so ooc for _______”, seemingly forgetting the fact that s7 was ooc for so many of the main characters to the point that we were all ragging on the writers about it… like if they were able to write a season so sloppy and terribly ooc what makes you think they won’t continue to do so, especially after tim just said “i don’t like to plan out seasons”

ooc writing happens in tv shows all the time. just because something wouldn’t make sense for a character/plotline doesn’t mean they won’t just do it anyway. like I’ve said before, tim has shown us that he only cares about shock value and drama- telling us himself in a interview that “i can’t just let them be happy, then no one would watch” (which is such total bullshit but this is the man who decided to make eddie have an emotional affair with a doppelgänger of his dead wife rather than just, yk, confirm his queerness)

i get it. it’s disappointing. you don’t want your favorite shows/characters to tank and go off the rails. but unfortunately, it has happened time and time and time again in network tv, and 9-1-1 is not immune to this.

i fully agree with the posts and analyses that detail how the show has set up buddie being the only satisfactory endgame relationship between them, and how it would be foolish and bad writing for them not to, but unfortunately (as you said in your ask) this show has made god awful writing choices frequently (literally the entirety of s7 is proof of that) and they have jumped through hoops to avoid buddie canon countless times— there is nothing stopping them from doing it again.

and this idea that just because they’re talking about buddie openly must mean they’re going canon is ridiculous. the short is reaching the end if it’s run; if it even gets renewed past s8, it’s very unlikely that they’ll go past s10 at the longest. they just moved to a new network, baited the fuck out of buddie pre-s7 and then didn’t give us anything and people are still watching. they know that as long as people think there’s a possibility of buddie canon that they’ll watch the show— it’s textbook queer/shipbaiting. 9-1-1 is not immune to this just because they’ve said “we don’t want to be accused of queerbaiting” in the past. we’ve reached a point where the network queerbaiting won’t cause enough backlash to warrant them being cautious anymore. it’s a dick move, yeah, but these creators are in this job for one thing: money. they have proven they don’t actually give a fuck about meaningful storytelling. it’s why they rely on cheap drama and shock value to get by bc they know people will tune in anyway.

i completely understand wanting to be hopeful and optimistic. i will forever be hopeful for the day that buddie finally go canon (although i hope they ditch the mustache before then because i don’t want to think of my alcoholic uncle when i see eddie kiss buck for the first time) and when it does i will be so fucking happy after waiting for 6 years.

but that’s the thing. i have waited for 6 years. i’m tired of getting my hopes up each season bc “guys this is literally the closest we’ve ever been there is no way they aren’t going to go there now” just to get slapped in the face by the showrunners and writers. i’m not going to get my hopes up about it just to be let the fuck down once again. and frankly, i don’t wanna see the fallout when we are let down again because people decided to convince themselves that it was 100% for sure set in stone happening when in reality it’s really not.

[yurislotusgarden]

Menaces in Love

ʚїɞ Nakahara Chuuya x Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so there may be mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 825

ʚїɞ Tw's: None! Just pure fluff, probably ooc Chuuya, you and Chuuya are married in this one loves, pet names used: doll, reader's gender is not specified in any way (hopefully), you both are goddamn menaces but in this one, it's mostly reader

It’s 3:07 am, a normal hour for the both of you to be awake. Chuuya was trying to fall asleep as he had to go out early in the morning, but goddammit are you not letting him do that. You’ve been asking dumb questions for the past half an hour, and surprisingly been quiet for the past 5 minutes. The ginger’s savoring it, to say the least.

Such a sad fact is that his dumbass of a spouse can’t stay quiet.

“Chuu?” A murmur came from behind, Your arms around his waist, a nice position, only if he could sleep.

“What is it this time?” The tone used by Chuuya is with no questions, showing being done.

“...I’m just thinking… what if aliens think that we are the aliens?” The [h/c]ette said with a for some reason serious tone, which caused questions in the gingers head, looking at the question asked.

Chuuya turned around, confused to hell and back “The fuck you talking about?”

Let’s just say there was a debate on that for over an hour and Chuuya indeed didn’t get his beauty sleep.

/////////////////////

It isn’t you.

The only thing on Chuuya’s mind were those simple 3 words.

Your dear husband has gotten sent on a longer mission, one that can take up to a week, and mind you, but our beloved short stack would want his routine cuddles right now. If there’s one thing he hates to miss, it’s those goddamn cuddles.

At the moment it was 4 am, and the short figure of his could be seen laying widely awake on the hotel bed, hugging a pillow, wishing and trying to imagine it was his beloved spouse.

“Goddammit, maybe they’re right, maybe I’m the clingy one”

///////////////////

5 am, that’s how late, or perhaps early, Chuuya came back to the apartment. He tried to be quiet, in case that you were asleep.

Wishful thinking.

The moment the ginger came relatively close to the bed, he was pulled down into a pair of arms.

“Missed you” A murmur from under him.

“I know, I missed you too” A quiet answer. A hand on your head, running though your hair.

The short figure chuckled, completely expecting something like this but still amused. A similar situation happens every time he’s on a mission longer than 3 days. 

“Have you slept lately?” Came the question from him, brown eyes looking at your face as much as he can in this position.

“Of course”

Chuuya knew it’s a lie, after all, you always had problems with sleeping if you were unsure of whether the ginger’s safe or not. The distance didn’t help for sure, but there’s no sense in pointing it out.

“I have free today if that helps, we can sleep in” Chuuya indeed does, Mori gave him a day off. For what reasons? The male doesn't know, and he thinks he’d rather stay in the dark on this one.

“Perfect, because there’s no way in hell we're getting out of this bed until 12”

//////////////////

“Alright alright alright but what about this?”

The ginger groans, he just wants to sleep. “Go to sleep”

“Do you think that we would still be together in an alternate universe?” A teasing whisper, where the ginger can practically hear your smile.

“Go to sleep” “What if Chuuya’s a girl there?” “Go to sleep” An excited gasp could be heard. “What if we have kids there by now-”

“you’re about to sleep on the couch-”

//////////////////

“I have a serious question” 

Chuuya looked over to the doorway from where he was sitting. “An actual serious question or is it serious in your eyes only?”

A  frown could be seen on your face. “An actual serious question Chuu Chuu” 

The ginger head only scowled at the nickname and stopped himself from making a comeback. He really doesnt know where you got the nickname from. “Then shoot”

“... Why me?” You answered in a quiet soft voice, making Chuuya confused. If there’s one thing he knows from all these years of knowing you, it’s that you don’t act like this unless you’re actually serious or truthful, just generally this kind of moments.

“Dumbass, it’s obvious” He couldn't stop himself from a small teasing while turning back around, just how dumb can his spouse get?

You groan. “Chuu! C’mon just answer my question!” Chuuya softly chuckles.

“Are you gonna answer or am I gonna stay in the dark?”

“...When I saw you, everyone else seemed to disappear”

////////////

“Listen Chuu. I can get your cereal-soup argument, but there’s absolutely nothing you can say or do in this universe  to convince me that a hot dog is a fucking sandwich”

“Wha- What do you mean?” The ginger was confused, why do you not get it? “Doll, it’s simple! Imagine the bread around as normal bread and the inside-”

“No!”

Both of you sometimes wonder why you’re married to each other of all people.

Notes, comments, reblogs and anything else is greatly appreciated <3

[sulfies]

So Altaïr and Ezio use terms of affection all the time with Desmond, but it doesn't look like Desmond uses any back to them. Like Altaïr and Ezio call Des Habibi and Tesoro all the time but he never calls them by cute pet names.

When Connor shows up, before they realize Connor isn't his given name, do you think they get confused when Desmond calls him Rathonhagé:ton? Like they think Desmond is calling him something sweet because they don't realize that's his name? I think Ezio would be especially bitter about it.

Anyway hope you're having a good day! 🩶

Not the call out, didnt realize yall noticed💀 I just dont like english pet names that much😭 I sadly dont see him the type to use "babe, hon, sweetheart, love etc" He probobly would actually I just dont like writing it lol He does enjoy getting called petnames tho

rather than pet names I like to think he on rare occasions (being drunk, wanting to annoy them, make them do smthn for him) uses the Shortened names like Connie/Radoo, Ezy/ez, Alty (never rlly normally tho) or If he really wants to rile em up "Mentor/é" "My prophet/s" "assassin" their own nicknames back at them" etc

Oh and.. "sir/s" tho thats just me wanting that kink in there :9

----

That Idea is so smart tho and fun do

imagine with Ezio going "so when will I get a cool cute name from you like Connor? Ive been here longer than him :'(" and Desmond just looks at him unimpressed and maybe calls him fucking stupid in Connor's language.

realistically 2 smartass assassins would figure it out themselves that its probobly his real name💀 but its fun for dynamics so I dont think dumbing characters down is bad I just try to keep it away from becoming idk too... Ooc and trope-y? Even tho they are litterally ooc antime I draw them interacting lol

They would probobly be more jelous that they cannot pronounce it also (the accents dont help....Connor doesnt even want to hear Ezio try it tho he does appriciate them not giving up)

-----

I think Connor also wouldn't use petnames(esp english ones) but maybe he would give Desmond a Kanien'kéha name? Bc he knows Ezio and Altaïr would not be able to pronounce it (I am not sure tbh I have not researched the language or the native-culture on how love language works yet)

Maybe he would call Desmond "spirit" the first time he appears and just stick with it sometimes

----

And ty I had a great day❤️ ate good food that I didnt have to pay for... What more could I ask🥹

[galactic-rhea]

I love your analysis of The Simpsons. Homer is probably my favorite character in the series because he loves his family so much but still struggles because of his upbringing, and while that doesn't excuse the abuse and immaturity, it still makes an impact. I always think about that episode when Homer overworks himself at two jobs so Lisa can have a pet horse, but then she gives it up for him, telling him that the only dumb animal she needs is her dad. The Simpsons as a whole has been totally bastardized over the years, but ultimately, it's about family, and the beauty of it rests in the bittersweet.

[ This is the post mentioned in the ask ]

God, there are SO MANY episodes showing how much Homer actually CARES, and tries, despite a bunch of it sometimes being a bit inconsistent, which is probably why the movie always felt strangely OOC, in a way that felt closer to what you would expect from Family Guy.

Just of the top of my head, there's also the episode where they're told Lisa is a gifted kid and needs a let out to work with her intelligence, and Homer spends all the money they had been saving up from an Air Conditioning to buy Lisas' saxophone. There's also the episode where he gives up his best job ever (ironically under a literal James Bond Villain) because his family was struggling to adapt.

He stopped being basically a Beatle partly because of his family if memory serves well (although a big part of it was huh, Barney)

There's also Homer's whole arc about accepting the possibility of Bart being queer (despite it being a misunderstanding and also due peer pressure) and after that episode, ironically, he's sometimes shown being more progressive than Marge.

And Homer's fully support for Lisa's attempt at discovering the true about Jeremiah Springfield.

It's such a fun and contrarian personality that a lot of the jokes rely on him being awful, but them going through such extremes for his family, extremes that less "awful" parents wouldn't really do, it's interesting, and entertaining!

I wanna believe even later seasons have episodes that shine through, it's true is not the same and a lot of them aren't that funny anymore, and very flat in characterizations, but there's still creators behind it that tell me that they do care and keep trying on good episodes from time to time

[deepdrownlamentt]

hello hi beloved love of my life im sorry (im not sorry) for contributing to your masterlist turning into an alcohol menu but hear me out, tequila and phantom/specter/lumen (your horny your call whichever is the most pathetic and subsequently funniest) being jealous

the catch is that the thing that they're jealous over is so TRIVIAL like a new otome game? your pet??? your mom??????? theyre a wet sopping mess and im here for it

↬ courier, specter, and tequila jealousy hcs

content warnings: none

note: the emojis are actually dealing me psychic damage but i like writing dumb things so i will oblige........ sorry for the delay i am being slaughtered out here!!!!! get me out of uni!!!!!! i just want to vibe in peace!!!!!!

i think tequila May be a liiiiiittle ooc since i haven't . looked at his voicelines in a million years . and mine is trust 0 . but anyways i hope u enjoy !!!! xoxo etc

↬ COURIER doesn't think of himself as the type of partner that needs to constantly hog your attention, nor does he think himself so busy that he would leave you wanting. there's a certain balance to it, that much he's sure of — but he can't quite help but be disappointed if he finds something else occupying your mind when he finally has the time to hang up his coat freely and spend it with you.

↬not that he's quick to show it on his face, though. he's long since felt comfortable enough with you to drop any pretense of a fake, customer-service smile in your presence, after all. even then, it's very much clear from his raised eyebrows and confused blinks that he's rather surprised. or confused.

↬ perhaps he's gotten just a little spoiled by you — to the point that going for how many minutes without hearing the padding of your footsteps as you come over to greet him leaves him feeling a little odd. maybe you were busy! he rationalises to himself. maybe you got called away for a last minute meeting, and he just missed you on your way out—

↬ that is, until he hears the telltale little sound effects from a game on your phone you've told him about lately, and lo and behold, and his chest does a weird thing where it flutters and sinks all at once. on the one hand, he's glad it's just a game that's stolen your attention. on the other hand... it's just a game? he won't say anything, but if you notice anything for the next few days — going on more missions with you, or cooking you even more of your favourite foods than usual — then maybe the discreet little glances he spares your phone, making sure it's silent and face-down on the table, have something to do with it.

↬ it's rather preposterous to think that LAURENTINA would "stoop to so low a level," she says, that she would get jealous of something so minor. rather, she enjoys monopolising your attention, you see — and for your little predicament to steal your gaze away from her, well... that won't do, won't it?

↬ she teases you much more often, especially when she finds out what exactly it is that's distracting you lately: lingering touches on your shoulder or waist, sickly sweet calls of your name, or even her plucking your phone out of your hands with a sly little shark-toothed smile.

↬ if she really feels up to it, she might tease you more about your little distraction, too: oh? you want my attention, dear? i thought that little game of yours enraptured you much more. she loves watching the way you squirm, hearing how you hem and haw as you think of a response.

↬ of course, while she acts like she's above jealousy, she can still feel it simmering a little just under her skin — it's why her little teasing prods at you have become more frequent, though there's never any real ill intent behind any of them, and she's very intent on making sure you don't misinterpret her intentions. after all, she wants you to see what you're missing out on, not drive you away entirely!

↬ much like specter, TEQUILA claims that being jealous is "silly" — though it doesn't stop the exaggerrated way he pouts when your gaze is drawn elsewhere... at your phone, specifically. he doesn't seem the type to take it too personally, but as he jokes about oh, i didn't know your game was more distracting than me, there's a part of him that wonders what it would take to take your attention off of it entirely.

↬ there's a chance he might ask you on more dates than usual — even if it's something as simple as a late-night walk together, or chatting at the bar as rafaela prepares you drinks. there's also a chance he might be a little more physically affectionate than usual: his hand around your waist as you walk, resting his chin on your shoulder from behind as he watches whatever it is you're doing at the moment.

↬ in the end, though, the part of him that thought all of this was silly wins by the smallest, smallest margin; he might even ask you about it directly, if he gets the chance. and if you decide to gush about it, he listens with rapt attention — if you have a good time with it, then he's happy that you're happy, or something along those lines.

↬ but just for his sake, to appease the part of him that wanted to steal your attention back, it may be worth it to reassure (or maybe even tease) him a little in turn. just for the hint of satisfaction he might get for winning over pixels.

[doublejango]

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

Roleplayer name: DJ. Not my actual chosen name, but I realized I want to try and keep a buffer between RP and real life... only I absolutely could not think of another alias at the time, I was sitting here staring at the screen like "uhhhhh..." And feeling really dumb, because shouldn't coming up with names be easy? Buuuuut RIP. It just stands for Double Jango. If we're close OOC I might tell you my name name, but I will also never be mad if you're like "fuck you, I'm sticking with DJ"

Roleplayer pronouns: he/they

Muse name(s): My primary dumpster fire is Blitz. I also enjoy Vox and Striker, lately have been having way too much fun with Eris, and have an OC who loves aquariums way too much because I had to channel my aquarium love somewhere. But really, it's Blitz. It'll always be Blitz.

Preferred communication: Discord. And I feel you, friend, I am also the worst on there. There will be days where I just absolutely do not remember to do messages, or I'll be like "oh yeah I totally replied to that!" or i end up just like, thinking about a reply on Discord and being all sappy because daww I love that person and then I just get stuck in sap and hang out like a mosquito waiting for Jurassic Park and... anyway. Discord is fantastic. Tumblr IMs work, though!

Experience: I was on Tumblr a few years ago, but ended up walking away from it for a long time. Have been back since... February, I think? February! Most of my recent RP has been tabletop or lowkey/casual LARP, until I hopped back on here.

Preferred roleplay type: Roleplays and replies with substance. I like RP because I like the writing, not just out of love for the characters. The writing itself makes me so happy, even if I am a menace who like, never edits and just babbles.

Pet peeves & dealbreakers: I intensely dislike mini para RP and will usually end up having to unfollow people who do a lot of it. I'm not mutuals only though, so even if I can't follow you, if you still want to write together? I'm open to that. But it definitely frustrates me if rapid-fire mini-para posts are the only thing I see/double how much time I have to spend scrolling the dash just to wade through them. Like I'm happy for you, of course! Because you've got that writing energy going and you're having fun! But I also care about my other partners, and want to be able to see what they are up to, too.

Best time to write: Morning and then late at night. Basically, bracketed around work and chores. I have a hard time focusing on RP if there is other stuff I need to get done first, and I try to never let myself be distracted from real life to the point that a chore goes undone, or a doggo uncuddled, or work ends up pushed back. Real life is always first, and my brain doesn't feel like... 'cleared for RP takeoff!' until everything else is taken care of.

Are you like your muse? I really hope not. I mean, probably. Probably more than I know. But I don't kin Blitz--had someone I was close with irl who hurled I know you kin Blitz, but jesus fucking christ at me as an insult they admitted they wanted to hurt me with during a fight. We had been RP partners and close friends who went on local trips together, hung out a lot, she learned about Tumblr RP through me... She told me she hurt me on purpose because it's good for me, basically. You know, when I'm "asking for it." I was so close this summer to walking away from RP altogether, because of how she absolutely shattered me, but am glad that I managed not to. That I managed to convince myself, fuck her, she doesn't get to take my joy from me. So, maybe I am like Blitz in some ways, even if I don't intend to be and don't consciously kin him, but things I know we have in common are: I am stubborn, tenacious, and a chaotic mess of zero sense of self preservation and full enthusiasm for life. Considering where I was two years ago, this is a major win for me (being able to love life), and I will gladly take it.

Plus, there are some people here who I cherish, who I love just for existing, knowing them brightens my day. There's someone who always comes to mind when I see something beautiful. There's someone who always makes me laugh. There are amazing people who have strength and kindness and compassion. There are ridiculous monsters. There are so many wonderful people here, so many friends I've made, that the thought of how close I was to feeling like I had to leave because I just didn't deserve to be here? Breaks my heart a little.

You guys are wonderful. You're worth staying for. Finding joy with you and enjoying you fuckers in and out of character? Worth every damn minute.

Tagged by: @fzrticv

Tagging: @aroyaltailor || @infxnatum || @stolas-arsgoetia-rp || @visage-of-hell || @angelsandemons || If I didn't tag you, it's because I definitely already saw you post this, or because I am a goldfish who couldn't think of more names off the top of my head ghfdsjkgf but listen, DO THE THING! Even if you're not tagged, do it and @ me because I love reading about you guys! And if I have tagged you and you've already done it, then like... post a picture of your favorite animal and @ me or something, because listen, animal pics are always a win!

[sarahs-secrets2]

Slow Burn (Phillip Graves x Reader) ࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

Sarah stop making plots out of song challenge difficulty impossible!!!!!

AHHHH!!! I'm writing outside of my schedule. He is Kacey Musgraves' album Golden Hour coded I don't make the rules sorry. There's like this timeline throughout the story in italics which starts in high school, then like early military era, then early Shadow Company, so I hope it translates well LMAO. Anyways here's some fluff rahhhhhh

Based on Slow Burn by Kacey Musgraves

gn! (no use of Y/N)

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: probably a tad OOC oops, pet names, COUNTRY TWANG (just major fluff)

₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗

“Whaddya say, we got a date?”Phillip was holding one of your hands rubbing his thumb up along the lines in your palm as he anxiously awaited your answer. 

“Of course Commander, I’d be honored”, smiling back at him as you raised his hands up to your mouth, placing a small kiss on the backs of his fingers. 

“Pick ya up at 8 darling”, he winked as he squeezed your hand and jogged off, turning around to smile back at you as he disappeared down the hallway of the Shadow’s base. 

You and Phillip grew up together in Texas, following each other to the military, and then helping him establish Shadow Company. The two of you were inseparable. In high school, your crush on Phillip became all-consuming, but you could never tell him, it would risk your friendship. 

Timing never worked out for you two. Phillip Graves was a charmer, always with a trail of girls following him around waiting to be next while you sat and watched.

“Must be nice Phil”, you laughed pointing towards the girls who were whispering and giggling towards the handsome blonde stood next to you. 

“Which you think I got the best chance with?”, you hated when he did this because the honest answer was with you. Phillip being oblivious to this of course. “I'm thinkin’ the brunette, or the redhead even,”.

“Oh shut up Graves, you’re so full of yourself, c’mon we got class”, attempting to wave him on from his adoring “fans”. 

Graves finally realized he had feelings for you a year into both of your military careers. Of course, he had always cared about you but he had found himself going out of his way to be next to you more, and whenever you were talking to someone else a creeping feeling of jealousy took over, which he wasn't proud of. 

“C’mon we gotta go”, Graves was tugging your arm pulling you away from the conversation you were having. 

“Phil, wait like 5 minutes I’m in the middle of something”, attempting to get him to calm down for the time being. 

“This is serious, c’mon”, giving into his tugging, you waved sorry to the rookie you were talking to.

“Graves, what the hell?”, he was going to pull your arm off the way he was dragging you through the mess hall. 

“You shouldn't be talkin’ to him”, the second the sentence left his lips, you stopped in your tracks causing Phillip to finally drop your arm. 

“That’s not your decision Phillip, what has gotten into you lately?”, he hid his eyes from you.

“I'm just tryna protect you doll”, his eyes fully glued to some random tile on the floor. 

“I can handle myself, you know that right?” he knew that, he wasn't dumb, it was something he admired you for actually. He wanted to be the one to protect you though. 

You and Phillip had become subconsciously aware of each other's feelings over time. Lingering touches and stares became a habit for the two of you as you waited for someone to make the first move. 

“Dear, are you and Phillip Graves ever gonna finally get together, me and his mama are getting old, and we need some grandbabies”, your mom had this habit of managing your love life, she was the biggest “Phillip Graves” fan as well, always rooting for the two of you to together. 

“Ma, we got Shadow Company, I don't think either of us has time to date or even time for children,”

“Honey, I’m not getting any younger waiting around for the two of you, hurry it up for your mama why don’t you”,

“Okay ma I got it don’t worry, I’ll talk to you later, love ya”, hanging up the phone, you laughed to yourself at how persistent she had gotten over the years about you and Phil, if only he had taken the hint from his mom. 

Shadows and Phillip kept you busy, sure you still had a massive crush on him but it could wait, for the time being, your focus was on keeping the Shadows and Graves safe on missions. 

“Your mama call you too? I just got an earful, I’ll tell you”, you and Phillip were walking through the base after a mission, trying to wind down. 

“Yup heard it all, trust me”, laughing to yourself as you recalled your mom talking your ear off earlier. Phillip was nudging you as the both of you slowly walked down the hall.

“Ya know… I've liked you for a while now”, he had stopped to look at you when he said this.

“What's a while Phil, because I might have you beat”, you were blushing just thinking about how your little high school crush had grown into a man in front of you, and how the both of you were finally admitting the built-up feelings after a push from your moms.

“A while since I tugged you away from that stupid rookie in the mess hallway back in our early military days”, his arms folded across his chest as he smirked back at you. 

“I win, I’ve had a thing for you since high school, handsome”, winking at him.

“You’re joking?”, he was laughing as if you were lying to him.

“I wish Graves, trust me, waiting isn't easy”, while you spoke, Phillip grabbed your hand tracing it with his thumb. 

“How dare I make someone as special as you wait any longer, whaddya say we got a date?”

At the end of the date, Phillip helped you out of his pickup truck, and the both of you held hands as you walked back into the base. 

“Now I hope you don't get the wrong impression of me darling, I don't usually let girls come home with me on the first date”, he laughed at his own joke, earning a small punch on the shoulder from you. 

“Think about the grandbabies Phillip, our poor mothers”, laughing along with him. You two walked slower than normal trying to enjoy the time together, Phillip put an arm around your shoulder pulling you into him, fully wrapping you in his scent as you rested your head on his shoulder. 

“This is nice darlin’, sorry I’m such an idiot and didn't put it together sooner, been kicking myself all night over it”, you could tell he was genuinely upset about it. 

“Phil, I’m sorry I didn't say anything, guess I’ve always been too nervous to ruin our friendship” looking up at him shyly. 

“You did ruin it doll, but in the best way possible”, he was smiling back at you, as he placed a small kiss on your forehead. “Now let me get you back to your room, can’t keep you out all night, what kind of gentleman would I be”, placing his hand on your lower back he guided you down the halls. 

“This is me”, glancing at the door and back at Phillip.

“I see that," he nodded at the door, "is this the part where I kiss you?”

“Well, I don’t kiss and tell Commander so that one is up to you”, giving him a small smirk. Phillip tilted your chin up to him, leaning down and placing his lips on yours giving a slow, meaningful kiss. 

“Don't go kissin’ and tellin’ now” he whispered as you both pulled away for air. 

“Wouldn't dream of it Phil,” your hands slid up to rest on his chest as you two stood basking in each other's presence, not worried if someone decided to wander down the hall and catch the pair of you together. “Not to stress you out, but what does this make us?”.

“I'm not sure darlin’, let's just take it slow for now, I want to enjoy every second of it with you”, he smiled at you, raising his hand to cup your face.

“I waited this long, I’m alright with a slow burn”

₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗

Nah cause why is this my best one yet LMFAOOOO

[wannab-urs]

Javier Peña Masterlist

Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

in the a.m. - smut, angst | AO3

Type: series Status: in progress Summary: Between sleeping with informants and getting in bed with Los Pepes in the fight to bring down Escobar, Javier Peña also finds time to be with you. Wrestling with crippling self hatred, Javi tries and fails to keep his blood stained hands off of you. Based on some of my favorite Arctic Monkeys songs Tags: smoking, probably shit spanish, smut, angst, established situationship, emotionally unavailable!Javi, references to past arguments/past hookups because this has been an ongoing thing and I love to start in the middle of a story, loose fit series, trauma, probably, sad!Javi, self hating!Javi, Javi very briefly picks you up, Javi crying, Javi yelling, reader yelling, did I mention angst?

Perfecta, mi amor - smut | AO3

Type: one shot, request Word Count: 800 Summary: soft!dom Javi talks you through a facefucking blowjob. Tags: Soft dom!Javi P, sub!reader, Javi P talks you through it, blow job, deep throating, face fucking, excessive praise kink (obviously), reader is referred to in Spanish with feminine phrases so she's a lady this time. Reader has hair that Javi can interact with?

This Night Has Opened My Eyes - smut | AO3

Type: one shot Word Count: 900 Summary: You’ll do anything to avoid getting arrested (smut) Tags: Dubcon with a twist, reader is so very very into it, derogatory language (putita, little whore), bondage (handcuffs), rough sex (no prep). 

Something Sweet - fluff, smut | AO3

Type: one shot Word count: 2.1k Summary: You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you. Tags: Set vaguely during season 1 before Javi gets extra angsty, canon compliant-ish, reader feeling lonely, sassy!reader, flirty!javi, alcohol (wine), brief mention of a gun bc I feel like a DEA agent wouldn’t just answer the door all willy nilly, kissing, javi asking for consent, but y’all did share a bottle of wine, kissing, fingering f receiving, marking, unprotected PinV, cuddling. I always write angsty Javi, but this is FLUFF, so sorry if it’s OOC, I’m slightly out of my element here.

Under Your Skin - smut | AO3

Type: one shot, pedrostories secret santa 23 Word Count: 3.5k Summary: You’ve worked on Chucho’s ranch since you were 15 years old, grew up with Javi, loved Javi… He comes back after nearly 20 years to find you hooking up with a certain former secret agent. He’s jealous, for sure, but of who? Tags: MMF, post season 3 of Narcos, AU where Jack gets kicked out of the Statesmen instead of burgered, Javi being bi and repressed, Jack being a bisexual slut, SMUT, MMF dynamics, oral (f receiving), javi being a dick, oral (m receiving), javi tries to hit jack, gay kissing (!!!), making out, face sitting, reader kinda gets used and likes it, nipple play, throat fucking, Eiffel tower moment, brief f masturbation, brief m masturbation, pet names (sugar, cowboy, baby, hermosa), truly unreasonable amounts of cursing i’m sorry i talk like this, and also unreasonable amounts of southern phrasing, again sorry I talk like this, unprotected PIV, creampie, cum eating, teasing Javi, actually 90% porn with like a little backstory, kind of enemies to lovers, they’re all ranch hands technically, also they’re all romantically into each other but also javi is dumb and jack can’t believe anyone would want him for more than sex haha oops :)

Bittersweet - smut, angst | AO3

Type: one shot Word count: 1.1k Summary: You're perfect to him, but he's not good enough for you and never could be. Tags: kind of derogatory mention of “whores,” SMUT, javier peña’s oral fixation, I’m imagining season 3 Javi but it’s up to you, reader is 20ish, wears a skirt, is referred to as sweet, and is able bodied. Soft and then mean!javi.

Savior Complex - angst, smut-ish | AO3

Type: drabble Word count: 570 Summary: Javi wants to take care of you, but you won’t let him Tags: angst, brief not quite smut, horny thoughts, food mention, toxic relationship, reader is wearing a skirt but is otherwise undescribed, javi grabs you in a nonsexual way, arguing.

[aeternxm]

RESPOND TO THE FOLLOWING PROMPTS OOC , THEN TAG OTHERS YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER.

roleplayer name: shan. i am not original, it's literally just a shortened version of my government name lmao.

roleplayer pronouns: they/them -3-

muse name: we got axel/lea, we got michael, ichigo, eddie, trip, takeshi, takeo, and eito. i'm pretty sure that's all of them lmao.

preferred communication: discord bc i am on mobile during the day so i'm always lurking over there.

experience: jesus uhh, coming up 14? 15 years?

preferred roleplay type: listen, LISTEN - i am and always will be a mess for angst - and shippy things. bonus points if the two overlap. but anything that makes me hurt is a win. i love me a tragic backstory and some inner turmoil. but i do prefer writing long replies because i don't write a lot of talking usually? it's just a lot of describing mixed in with the dialouge almost taking on the personality of the muse i'm writing so uhhh, yeah.

oh and i love crack posts they give me life.

but also just writing fucked up shit in general okay.

pet peeves & dealbreakers: this is just for the canon muses but like, broski, don't push your headcanons onto my canon muse and try and make me write them that way. thank u much appreciated.

but also ah, how do i word it? let evil muses be evil. some of the muses i write are not redeemable in any way. no your muse can't fix them, no your muse isn't going to make my muse have a change of heart. don't be surprised if my evil/morally grey muse does some fucked up shit. we knew this was going to happen. i've had a lot of trouble in the past, especially when i was actively writing in the dmmd fandom with that.

i also just love writing mean characters or unhinged characters okay. i love the psychology behind it and it makes my heart go doki doki. gotta use that degree for something, right?

plots or memes: memes memes memes. i reblog enough of them. and if i reply to a meme u have full permission to turn that shit into a thread. plotting is cool but i'm dumb and tired. unless u already have a plot in mind and u just throw it at me screaming saying we're doing this now.

best time to write: AHAHAHAHAHA, i work full time, have a very busy irl life AND i live in good old aotearoa/new zealand. i am usually never online when anyone i write with is. and if i am... i'm questioning why u guys are on here at the same time as me. it's late for u, go to bed.

are you like your muse?: i am probably too much like lea for my own good, but i am also takeo at the same time okay. done with everyone's shit - very awkward. looks like they hate affection, actually loves it.

tagged by: @foughtbelief

tagging: ??? IDK UHHH @hoshizorax @the1iars @gravesung @astarab1aze and anyone else that wants to do it. i feel like u don't need to be tagged to want to do it but -3-

[huntinglove]

hii hope you're doing well!!

first of all sorry for all the spam. I'm a little obsessed with erena and muichiro😩 they have a really cute dynamic and it doesn't help with my kny hyperfixation🤡 I'll try to tone it down but sorry in advance if I end up stalking the tag again /hj /lh

second of all!! I really love the way you've written erena!! this might sound dumb but when I was still new to selfshipping and started making s/i's I used to stress a lot about how to incorporate my culture into the story.

I'm south african so uh the timeline wouldn't have been the most favorable for a coloured (or "mixed) person. and I never really saw any shippers (at the time) incorporating their culture into their ships? it was more oc x canon so there was a separation I think..

long story short: I find it really inspiring how you so flawlessly tie your own identity into your ships. it's inspired me to look at my ships at a new angle, since this has always been something that bothered me.

third of all (I'm almost done I promise😭) I'm curious about the other hashira's reactions to meeting erena!! esp shinobu and tengen (or even the kamboko squad!!)

sorry if this sounds forceful, I just would love to hear more about erena. and I loveee seeing people's s/i's and ocs interact with canon characters. soo healing to me

sorry again for this long ass ask. I hope you have a good day🍀✨

thank you again for gracing my dashboard with your writing, it really brightened my day!! /gen

@i-put-the-s4p-in-s4pphic

Hi hi!! Thank you so much for this wonderful message!! And hey, please don't apologize for spamming any of my selfship related posts, it absolutely makes my day every time!!

About the hashira and the kamaboko squad meeting Erena, I've been thinking about writing two other mini fics for those scenarios!!

I already have some stuff planned out for her interactions with the Kamaboko squad, especially Zenitsu, but I don't wanna spoil anything for now 👀

As for the hashira, I also have a couple things in mind, but for now, have what each of them think of Erena:

Muichiro: My future wife. She's like a giant squid... Large, clingy, squishy and very white (ooc: she's not asian, she accidentally got to Japan by sneaking into a boat when she ran away from home) But she's also strong and scary if you don't know her too well.

Giyuu: My apprentice. She's actually sticking to something similar to water breathing, it makes me happy. I don't think she'll be my replacement, but at least something close to the tradition will live on. Very kind, genuinely enjoys being around me for some reason... I hear her new breathing style pays homage to all the other hashira, inspiring.

Shinobu: An interesting person. Hides her emotions quite well, especially when taking care of other people. Kind and caring, has given me tips on how to care for my pet fish. A bit overbearing and scaredy, but trying her best with her training. Odd physical aspects, quick to heal but hardly loses body weight through dieting and exercising.

Uzui: A bit scared of me for some reason, shy and awkward but very respectful and kind. Can get pretty flashy when she's happy or excited, like a random burst of fireworks. Looks a little out of shape but gives nice hugs because of it. She will be a good wife to Tokito, they're a good match!

Mitsuri: So full of love and kindness, very nice to be around! We often have eating contests and sleepovers too! Asks for advice on how to charm lord Tokito, but gets very shy around me and mister Iguro... Hypermobile and very flexible, I had an awesome time training her!

Gyomei: A kind and loving soul, we talk every now and then. I taught her how to meditate and have complete control over her body weight during battle. A bit hard on herself sometimes, but has a promising life.

Kyojuro: Met her briefly, seems chipper and joyful! Talks a lot when she's happy, has sent me letters during certain missions with sweet doodles on them. A good listener, let's me ramble for hours on end!

Obanai: Sweet but looks a little dumb. I admire her for how quickly she's managed to improve her combat skills while remaining humble and respectful to all of us. Lord Tokito is quite lucky...

Sanemi: Looks scared of me, sounds like the blonde kid that walks with Kamado... We've probably only spoken a couple of sentences to one another. Surprisingly good at combat for her cowardly demeanor, it's respectful.

[yoke9494]

Soft like a Plushie. 🧸 (HanmaXReader)

!!NO MINORS. NSFW!!

* pt 1 out of two. (Hanma pt 1. Baji/Kazutora pt 2.)

(Tiny bit of Chifuyu in the beginning)

*Curvy/Chubby reader

*Pet shop Tora and Chifuyu (Chifuyu's a bit of a pervert)

*Single mom reader

*loss of virginity

*OOC Hanma??

* characters are aged 17+ in the past.

🛑Tw: Bullying, Body shaming. The reader is compared to a pig multiple times.🛑

💕 Always remember, You are you and no one can compare. We are all beautiful in our own way. Love yourself. And always know, I will love you when you can't... I'm yo momma now child. And you are all perfect to me. 💕

Not proofread. 😅

______________________

"Can you speak or what old man?"

Chifuyu stood at the register, gaze locked on his childhood best friend, his captain..

"Baji?"

Baji's brows furrowed. "Huh?.. My name's not Baji. It's L/n Kellen. Are you high or something?"

Chifuyu shook his head. Kellen? Not Keisuke ... L/n not Baji.. But this kid looked so much like him.

He had long black hair, but a little shaggy.. Menacing eyebrows, fanged teeth, the same mischievous smile.. But the longer he looked he also noticed the kids eyes were e/c and his nose was shaped a little differently than his old Captain..

The boy clicked his tongue. "Momma! They don't have it. This old dude over here is just trying to groom me or something!"

Chifuyu's eyes widened. "Hey, wait! I'm not doing that! I just thought--"

He was cut off by a woman's voice. Soft and sweet. "Kellen stop yelling in the damn store."

Chifuyu's breath hitched. He was too into the order sheets to notice you when you first walked in with this kid.. Was he yours? Nah, he had to be your kid brother or something.

You smiled at him. Cute round face, plump soft lips..

"Sorry about my son." You pulled out your phone and showed him a picture. "He's been running around looking for these cat treats. We can't find them anywhere."

Chifuyu's shoulders dropped. Your kid had a spoiled cat for sure because those were their best selling ones. He sold the last bag this morning.

Swallowing down his nervousness he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. We just sold the last one this morning. The shop won't be restocked till Tuesday."

Kellen sighed. "We have to find another store ma.."

You shook your head. It was already getting late and you still needed to make dinner. Then get ready for your night shift.. "Sorry Kel. They're going to have to be satisfied with this one."

You placed a generic version of the treats for the owner to ring up. He looked like he was trying not to listen while Kellen whined.

"Mom! They won't eat it!"

Turning away to face your son, you pinched the bridge of your nose. You were tired from your shift this morning and Kellen wasn't helping.

He was a good kid when he wanted to be but he quickly got you to that overstimulated point. "Enough Kel. They're stray cats, they'll be grateful with what you give them. These are cheaper anyways..."

Chifuyu's heart broke. The boy cared for strays too.. It was getting too much, he wanted to cry.

Kellen looked up at you and softened his heated gaze. You looked tired. You worked two jobs just to keep a roof over your heads and to keep him clothed and fed. He's not even sure you actually slept..

Poor Momma.. He loved you very much but he wasn't going to tell you that. He couldn't be mushy because he was the man of the house. (Not really, but he likes to think it) He was the one who should be keeping you safe and happy, besides you only get one momma..

That's why his brows pinched together when the old dude started smiling at you a little too much. He was going on about wanting a number or an email so he could let you know when the treats came in. And you were dumb enough to fall for it!

(It was only your email. One you hardly had time to check..)

-------------------

Chifuyu waved as you started walking out with your son. He felt like a pervert when his eyes traveled to your backside. What God made you?! Round ass that had a slight jiggle, the way your jeans hugged every inch.. Your thighs! They'd look nice around his waist while he fu---

He let out a small gasp when a little middle finger made itself visible on your lower back. Kellen was basically pushing you out of the store while he glared at Chifuyu. But of course you didn't see it because Kellen mentioned he wanted to hurry home because he was getting hungry.

Chifuyu was so red. He'd put a strawberry to shame. What was wrong with him?! He oggled over you like you were a piece of meat and he was a starving dog! He really needed to find someone to love...

Too into his thoughts he failed to notice the back door opening. Kazutora huffed as he hauled in a heavy box full of new dog bowls. "A little help?"

Chifuyu didn't move an inch.

"HEY!!"

Chifuyu jumped and looked at his struggling friend. "Oh shit! Sorry!"

Kazutora noticed Chifuyu was pink all over. "What's wrong with you? Are you constipated again?"

"Huh?! No!"

Tora laughed, "Okay. You don't need to yell."

Chifuyu shook his head. "Sorry.- I just--... I think I may be in love?"

Again Kazutora laughed. "What's his name?"

Chifuyu gave him a dead panned look. "Fuck you! SHE was an angel! So damn curvy with a round cute face, her voice was so soft!.. She-- Wait! I didn't even ask for her name! Fuck!!"

Kazutora just stared at him. "Calm down it's not the end of the world."

Chifuyu thought for a second. "Damn, all I can remember is their last name."

"Their?"

He nodded. "She had a kid with her. I thought it was her brother or something since she looks pretty young but it was her son... L/n Kel?-- Kellen! He was looking for cat treats! You should have seen him too, I swear he looked just like--"

Kazutora cut him off. "Baji? Or me?"

Chifuyu's eyes widened. "Yeah! Wait- how did you know?! Don't tell me you know her?! Wait! Did you just say you??"

Kazutora had a lost look on his face. "Uh..Wait."

He walked away while Chifuyu stood there dumbfounded. "Huh?"

Kazutora wasn't even gone for a minute. He came back with a shoe box. Something he left under his desk for safe keeping.

Chifuyu peaked over his shoulder. It was full of letters, all from Kazutora's time in prison.

"Did you see which way she walked? Or the car she had?"

He furrowed his brows. "No but she gave me her email? For when we have the cat treats in stock."

He held up the paper, only for Kazutora to swipe it out of his hands.

"Hey! You'll lose it-"

A yellow envelope was placed into his hand. Chifuyu was awed at the little drawing on the corner. A Small blue cat silhouette was chasing a mouse..

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

Kazutora didn't even glance his way. He brought out his phone and began writing an email. He's been looking for you ever since he got out. Only to run into dead ends.

"Read it Chifuyu..."

-----------------

Kazutora felt like he was being judged. The shop was closed long ago but Chifuyu stayed in his spot and just stared..

"I can't-- you and Baji? Baji and you.. To that poor angel?--- What was she doing with that asshole?"

Kazutora shrugged. " No clue, but that's how we first met her. Listen, we were stupid okay. You know during the whole Valhalla thing-- We were stupid teenagers who saw a pretty girl and thought with their dicks... She gave her consent though! We didn't do anything to hurt her or against her will."

Chifuyu shook his head. A little disappointed in both of them. Baji wasn't the smartest at times but how could he be so carless? Why didn't he say anything? Did he know? Surely if he did, he'd still be here.. "Well, at least we know he's not yours. I mean, he was almost a perfect copy of Baji. Just his mom's eyes and nose." (*And a lighter version of you if you are POC. 🤎)

Kazutora felt a little disappointed.. but he shoved that down because that meant at least they had a small piece of Baji still walking around on this earth.

"I hope she checks her email soon.."

___________________________

(Let's take you back to the beginning.. Age 17.)

The bell that marked the end of the day rang about 20 minutes ago. But here you stood in the bathroom trying to clean your stained face. Your father had sent you a makeup kit for your birthday.

Well more like his new wife sent it to you.. He most likely forgot.

You spent all weekend practicing. At first you looked like a clown but eventually you got the hang of it. For once you felt pretty. You were actually excited to come to school as the new you!

But that didn't last long.. The same people who made your life miserable saw it as an opportunity to break your spirit a little more today.

You could handle the names all the girls called you. Piggy, Pork chop, Fatty. You've always been a little bigger than others, even your own mother called you something similar. After a while it didn't hurt so much.

The boys were a different story though. They were a little meaner... Mentally but more physically.

You hated the school uniforms. The skirt was above your knees and the shirts were too tight. Your mother hated that she had to pay extra when it came to your clothes.

Your thighs would be constantly pinched. Your breast would be grabbed. They harshly poked at your stomach or tried to reach under your skirt to grab your ass or as they like to call it "bacon".. All while making oinking noises..

Every teacher you told looked the other way. When you told your mother she basically laughed.

"Look at you. What boy in their right mind would bother? Stop lying for attention."

That's why when a new guy stopped you in the halls and asked if you could help him.

You ran the other way, you were slowly developing a fear of the male gender...

You left the poor guy shocked and alone.. That was the last of him.

NOT!

The guy kept bothering you.. You didn't have many friends, after constantly getting bullied, you ended up just keeping to yourself. You didn't trust anyone at all, male or female.

But the guy kept trying to sit with you while you ate lunch. He tried to walk you home. He tried to ask for your number or if you'd like to hang out on the weekend.

You kept telling him no. You told him to leave you alone because you knew he was just messing with you.

Probably a dare or something stupid...

He was fit and tall. He had dark brown hair and eyes. He was smart and handsome. It had to be a trick!

And it was...

After your torment you walked home with your head down. Eyes swollen from crying, a bit of smudged black liner under your eyes. You felt like a sad fat raccoon..

Your body had hit something hard and you stumbled back. You were about to say sorry but a familiar mocking snort made you look up.

5 guys stood in front of you with teasing smirks.

"Awe poor piggy. Did you bruise your bacon?"

"Look at the cracks her fat ass made on the sidewalk!!"

And what didn't shock you the body you ran into was the same guy who constantly bothered you. When it came to sensing when people were lying to you, well you were a champ. You've never been wrong..

He smiled down at you and kicked at your thigh. Trying to flip your skirt over. You flinched and held it down.

Usually you'd talk back, you'd fight back.. but today-- today you just felt hopeless. They could hear it in your voice. "Please just leave me alone. I just want to go home.."

You slowly tried to get back up..

"Aww what's wrong?"

One of the guys pushed you back down to the sidewalk by your shoulders. The one in front of you pushed your nose up with his finger to imitate a pig's snout.

All phones pointed at you as he began to sing a mocking song. 🎶"I got a knife, I got a fork. All I need is some pork, pork, pork.."🎶 it was a stupid song, usually you'd just roll your eyes and run home.. But the second they started making oinking noises, tears started to flow and your blood boiled..

You were at your breaking point.

You bit the inside of your cheek and made a fist. One of them noticed.

"Aww! Look we made piggy mad!"

"You think she'll start sizzling?"

The guy in front of you playfully pulled at your tear stained cheeks. "Oin--"

He didn't get to finish his insult. Instead...

He doubled over and began to cough. His fit grew so violent that he began to gag.

The other males just stood there with their mouths hung open... Your fist flew to the guys crotch so fast. They were all sure they heard a *pop* when you hit him. Was it his balls? Did they shatter? Or did you break your fingers?

"I fucking hate you! I hate all of you!"

You got up while the guy was on his knees. Your heel connected to his jaw and he flew back.

The males watched you for a good few seconds as you began to beat their friend with you bag. His face rapidly swelled from all the heavy books you carried around.

One finally snapped out of his daze. "You fat little bitch!--"

You felt hands grab onto your hair but they never pulled? When you fully turned around your eyes went wide.

What was this thing standing over them?

The other males were laid out on the ground. All groaning in pain or unconscious. You couldn't see what he looked like but you could tell he was a lanky one.

He held the guy (who you assumed had tried to yank you by your hair) by the neck. He let out a teasing giggle. "Hey now, that's not very nice. You should apologize to the pretty girl yeah?."

You backed away when your eyes landed on his tattooed hands. 'Sin and punishment?'

Nobody in your school had tattoos like that. Great, another crazy one...

(Like you just didn't almost beat one of them to death with a math book..)

A groan left someone's mouth when you backed up and stepped on their hand.

The guy turned and smiled at you. "Where ya going princess? ♡"

Fuck this, and fuck that.

You ran... All the way home.

---------------------

You learned his name was Hanma Shuji..

How? Well after that day he didn't leave you alone.

You did the same song and dance with this one.. "Leave me alone." "No thank you." "I can walk by myself." "I have to go home." "I don't want your candy, that's how you wake up in a tub of ice with your kidney missing."

He didn't fall for it. Everytime you turned he was there. Every morning he was in front of your house. Every day after school he was waiting by the gates..

Funny thing was, no one really bothered you anymore. And you were sure it was because of him. The girls who made fun of you always ran the other way, the boys didn't look at you but you did notice a few black eyes and broken arms..

What did Hanma want from you?

You kept your head down as Hanma slowly followed you home on his motor bike. He's been trying to get you to ride with him for 3 days now.

"Come on. I won't go fast." (Lies)

You shook your head. "I'm too heavy. Don't you have somewhere to be?"

He shrugged. "Not right now. Come on. Get on and I'll take you somewhere?"

You stopped and looked at him. Hanma wasn't bad looking, you really liked his eyes. He had a goofy smile and big ears and weird hair.. but you found it all cute. He was too cute.. Which is why you weren't falling for it.

You sighed. "Listen, just lie to your friends and say you did whatever it is they dared you to do. Get your money or bragging rights, whatever.. You don't have to keep bothering with me and pretending to be nice.."

He tilted his head.. There was that smile again.. "You're not a bother? And I don't need money. I'm just trying to hang out with you."

You rolled your eyes. He was good at lying. "Why? So we can look like the number 10 when we stand by each other? You don't even know me. I've never seen you before, you don't go to my school.. Just go away."

His smile dropped. "Well if you let me I would have known you better by now. I had to get your name from some dude I beat up.. And it's cause I think you're cute. Like a soft plushie you get in one of those claw machines y'know."

That was a first... "Uh, thank you? I think?"

He smirked. "You're welcome! Now, get on or I'll get off and make you. ♡"

-----------------------

Where you were Hanma wasn't far behind. Even if he wasn't physically there, someone from Valhalla was acting as his eyes and ears when it came to you.. (but you didn't know that)

Speaking of Valhalla...

You knew he was in a gang but that was about it. It was fine, for the first time you felt like you had a friend. Even though he was a little scary, liked to beat up people for fun, a little mean-- Okay. He was just mean, mean.. But it was never aimed twords you so you looked the other way.

Even though you still didn't fully understand why he liked being around you. This friendship could work...

Or so you thought?

Hanma only confused you further when he took you out for ice cream. Even though he never made a snarky remark about how much you ate or anything. It took you a while to get comfortable enough to eat in front of him. Which he didn't understand because he ate twice as much as you did every time.

(Where did it all go?...)

Too into your ice cream you didn't notice Hanma staring at you. Having already finished his, he noticed a roge sprinkle get stuck in the side of your lip. You weren't a dirty girl so you reached for a napkin but he wasn't having any of that.

You gasped when he licked the side of your mouth. When you didn't pull away he took that as an okay to go farther..

-----------------

Hanma was experience when it came to this stuff, but you? Not so much. The day he took you out for ice cream was your first kiss together. It was probably the 100th one for Hanma but the very first for you.

That kiss turned into longing touches, holding hands, and more heavy things...

Hanma took every chance he could to get you in his lap. He always ignored the small protests and words of you saying you were "too heavy".

He usually shut you up when he turned you around and had you grinding against him. Every time you squirmed he dug his nails into your plush thighs and kept you right where you belonged. Using you to get himself off. It's not like you ever complained though, 1. You liked it and 2. the feeling of someone (who looked like Hanma) wanting you was enough to send your tiny ego on overdrive. And that sadistic side of him liked the fact he had a cute girl wrapped around his finger.

It was fine...

But after a while, it wasn't enough for him and he was getting bored... Well, more like impatient.

--------------

It was the weekend and you were home... Alone. Again.

Your mother had gone out on a date that probably ended up with her going to his house or a sleezy hotel.

How much do you wanna bet that this one was already married too?... They always were..

You haven't heard from Hanma all day but you quickly learned that's usually expected of him. He usually went M.I.A for a day or two but you always got some form of apology.

(A teddy bear that he probably stole, snacks he took from someone. He always claimed he thought of you though..)

But sometimes you couldn't help but think...

What the hell does he do? Is it gang stuff? Is he with other girls? Could you be mad about that? It's not like you labeled whatever this was between the two of you. He still treated you like he usually did, only with extra touching?

' Maybe he found someone skinnier to hang out with? '

You shook your head. It's been a while since you put yourself down. You could hear Hanma scolding you in your head.*"How many times do I have to tell you to knock that shit off? You're perfect for someone like me. That's all you need."* Then he'd flick your forehead and move on.

He wasn't the greatest with words but at least he tried..

You made a face a rubbed between your brows. It was like he was actually there..

And he was... Ish?

Eventually you got tired of waiting up for your mom. She was grown and had her own key. If she stumbled down the steps you'll hear about it in the morning.

You were in between consciousness and dream land when loud *Taps* made you jump. You looked at your window but no one was there. You're mind automatically went to the boogie man..

You shook your head and scoffed. "Come on Y/n.. You're too old to be thinking like that. It's probably just the neighbors.."

But that kind of thinking didn't help since you shut your eyes tight and threw your blanket over your head.

*Tap, tap, tap*

' Boogie man, boogie man, Slenderman! '

They seemed to have gotten louder...

"Y/n open the damn sliding door!"

..... That wasn't your mom! It sounded like...

You jumped out of bed so fast. What was he doing here?!

You rounded the corner to the living room, sure enough, a tall silhouette stood in front of the door leading to the balcony. A low glow lit up his face when he took a drag from his cigarette.

You slid open the door and whisper yelled like your mom was home and she'd find you with a boy and laugh.. "What are you doing here-- How did you even get up here Hanma?! I'm on the 5th floor!"

He shrugged. "Fire escape. It's a good thing too. The one at the bottom was stuck from rust, I could have just saved your life." He laughed at your lost face before dropping his smoke and stepping on it. "You gonna let me in Princess or was all that climbing for nothing.?"

You looked cute when you scrambled away from the door and let him in. He looked around.

The space was nice and clean, even though it was dark he could see a bit of everything thanks to the light from the fish tank you had.

One loney gold fish in a huge tank? Weird...

He walked towards the hall. "Which ones yours?"

Before you could answer his eyes locked onto a f/c door. It was decorated with stickers and a small poster. "Nevermind, found it!"

He walked straight in and giggled when he turned on the light. "How cute."

Your room was really... You? Hanma honestly didn't know what he was expecting. He half expected to see a lot of school stuff, math posters, cute girly things and all that crap.

Nope.

He flopped on your bed and sighed. It was soft and smelled just like you. He looked up and saw you still standing at your door way. "Why you being shy? Want me to leave?"

You shook your head. "No! But uhm? What are you doing here? It's not that I don't want you here but you usually text me-- and my mom--"

His laugh cut you off. "I missed you. Plus I wasn't busy so, here I am. And I just happened to see your stumbling mom going into a bar a while ago. I didn't want my girl to be home all alone."

You rolled your eyes. Of course she was out drinking. It's not like you needed her tomorrow or anything- so much for spending the day together. Why couldn't she just love you? When your dad was around she-- nevermind. That life is over now.. If you ever had kids, you'd never put them last..

"Hey. Come here."

You looked up. Hanma still laid on your bed. Right in the middle of it.. His long limbs making your full sized bed look tiny.

You finally stepped into your own room. Hesitantly walking up to the side of your bed.

Hanma grabbed the end of your night shirt and twisted the fabric around his finger. It just rested at the middle of your thighs. "You always sleep like this?"

You nodded. "Yeah. I sleep hot so it's comfortable.. I can change-"

"Did I tell you to change?"

You shook your head. "No-- but- You haven't seen this much of me.. I don't even have a bra on. It's not right--"

Hanma clicked his tongue.

"Lay with me."

You furrowed your brows. "Can you move over then? You're taking up all the room."

He shook his head and tapped his thigh. "Sit right here."

You opened your mouth but he cut you off. "Don't you dare start that "I'm ToO HeAvY" shit. Sit on me Y/n."

You grumbled under your breath and tried not to embarrass yourself as you climbed on top of him. "You don't need to be so mean about it."

He let out his teasing giggle. "I have to be a little mean. It's the only way you'll listen."

++++++++++++++++

Sitting turned into a heavy make out session. That session turned into you grinding against his thigh, him doing the same to you..

It didn't take long for Hanma to end up on top of you, a place he's been dreaming of being... Right between your thick thighs.

The head of his cock slowly enters your wet folds. Pushing up against your tight entrance.

Your hands covered your face as you let out a small pained yelp.

That wouldn't do.. He wanted to see everything. But you were so embarrassed! You had begged him to turn off the lights when he yanked your shirt off and sucked in your nipples like a starved child, leaving marks to remind you that you were his. You begged him not to look when your underwear was torn and thrown to the side, twitching from just him spreading you open to see what was about to belong to him. You apologized over and over again when your plush thighs squeezed around his poor head, but Hanma never stopped his tongue from attacking your clit, he never slowed his fingers that curled deep inside of you.. Not until he had you cumming in his mouth. Sweet like the candy he always brought over when he apologized for leaving you by yourself for so long..

Sin and Punishment grabbed your own hands and pinned them to the side of you head. He wanted to see every face you made for him, hear every little sound. (And secretly making sure he doesn't hurt you anymore then he has to.)

"Tell me if I need to stop okay?" A small lie to make you more comfortable. His head was just pushing into your entrance and he could tell you were struggling.

All you could do was nod.

"Deep breath for me baby, relax for me.."

The second the air of your hot room filled your lungs you felt him slowly push in. You were so wet it was no trouble for him, treating it like a bandaid and shoving himself in one go. Why prolong the pain and make you suffer by taking his time? He knew what to do, he's done this many times before. The only strange thing was, he didn't really care about their comfort.. but you?

Your chest was rapidly rising and falling. He kissed away the tears that managed to slip from your waterline. He was dying to move! Your warm walls sucking him in, struggling to get used to the foreign object.

"Shhh, I got you."

Intertwining his fingers with yours he set a slow pace. Only pulling out halfway before sliding back in. Your pained noises were swallowed by him when he brought his body down so his lips could meet yours.

He smiled when he could feel you trying to buck your hips against his. Those little yelps of pain slowly turning into breathy moans.

Short shallow thrust became a little more harsher. His hips slamming into the back of your thighs. Your wet cunt made the lewdest noises, it was driving him insane..

Hanma felt a sense of pride when you whined out his name. His hands roaming down your arms to your tits. Squeezing them before moving on to your belly. This was his favorite part. How was it that your body was soft all over?

He settled on your hips, digging his nails into the doughie flesh. Driving himself more deeper, faster, harder. He wanted to be deep inside your belly.

You wanted to look away but you knew he'd be angry. What if he stopped? Oh God you did want him to stop.

The band in your stomach tightened even more when you looked up at him. Eyes heavy, pupils dilated, a small blush spread across his cheeks. The pants and small groans of your name leaving his mouth. Sweat rolled down his neck from the heat your bodies shared. His usual spike hair now laid flat on his forehead.

Your eyes traveled down to where the both of you met. His cock forcing its way in and out of your puffy pussy. Your slick coating him, rolling down his thighs and onto your bed sheets. You watched the muscles on his stomach twitch and flex. His hard body fucking into your soft one. It was becoming too much...

Hanma gritted his teeth when your soft walls began to squeeze his cock for all he's got. He hasn't even gotten to turn you over and have you from the back yet. He made the mistake of following your line of sight. A low moan left the back of his throat when he saw the ring of white decorate the base of his dick. 

A pathetic whine left your mouth before he started to roll his hips, dick so deep inside you felt a small pick of pain mixing into your high. Both the pain and over stimulation causing another orgasm to rip through you. 

You nearly screamed from the new found pleasure but Hanma lips smashed into yours. Tongues swirling together while breathing in one another's moans. The way Hanma went from low grunts to breathy moans and high whines made you shiver. Quickly pulling out his body nearly collapsed on yours, but he weakly held himself up.. You could feel his warm release dripping down the outside of your cunt. His softening length twitched against your sensitive clit. He whined as he caught his breath, burying his face into your neck so you wouldn't see his flustered face.

He's never sounded so beautiful? Soft? Venerable?...

If only you could hear his thoughts about you. All the dirty things he didn't get to do. He just got too lost in you... But that's okay, there's always next time... ♡

The world was a boring place for him. The people are even more boring... He hated feeling calm, at peace.

But now he laid on his soft fluffy girl... The only sound he focused on was your calming heartbeat making his eyes heavy. He found himself rolling the both of you over. Arms tightly wrapped around you, keeping you close to his chest. Legs tangled together..

He didn't bother to clean you off. You'll just get dirty again pretty soon. But for now? He just wanted to hold you.

For once Hanma Shuji. The Reaper himself, didn't mind calm...

......................

[royaletiquette]

Name: Rose

Pronouns: she/her

Preferred comms: Whatever, I've never had issues with IM's personally, so I like them. But I know no one else does lol. Discord is cool, especially when we start sending memes and shit to one another.

Name of muse(s): Hibiya and Hibiko. I've had one other muse that didn't last long, I just wanted an excuse to talk about my views and opinions on music lmao. An outlet to express that to a degree, but I just didn't have anything else I wanted to say, no overarching theme or anything.

Experience in RP: Started out the classic way of rp'ing via texts with a friend, where it was like [ "Stop doing that" *laughs* ] as Izaya from Durarara. Not terribly long after I moved to tumblr cause I was already always on it on my personal account and heavy in the durarara community in 2012, 2013, cause I wanted to write as Hibiya. And that was a blast because it started showing on Adult Swim so the anime got more popular and there were just a lot of people and alters to write with.

Stopped and started a few times, but I always wrote Hibiya publically and no one else. I think I barely wrote in 2016 cause the rp side of the fandom was DEAD and I didn't really venture out to find new partners. I had also moved countries so like, wasn't thinking about writing often. Completely stopped thinking about it in 2017 and was writing songs instead. Until after I graduated college and was working fulltime, and after all the lockdowns stopped (Toronto had multiple), I needed a new creative outlet I could work on while not home and kept thinking about Hibiya and Delic and having ideas I wanted to explore. And was very lucky to find my email and password! So now I'm like, I can't imagine leaving tumblr to write somewhere else. Privately I dunno, it's so boring.

Best experiences: It's so nice to have partners that equally gush over one another's muses and relationships, sharing ideas and potential threads and even just being like "lmao if this happened, it'd be over" / "I can't stop thinking about x."

Plus I mean to be honest, it's so, so exciting and nice to hear people excited to write with me and ask about my muses, having genuine curiosity. Asking questions I've never thought of and pushing them to be more developed and fleshed out. I love posting a reply or answering a meme and immediately getting pinged on discord of someone panicking and talking to me about it.

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: Too much ooc is the main reason I end up unfollowing people. Which like, listen, it's not like I outright say, I don't care about you. But if it's too much, even though I like you and your muses and want to write, I'm gonna mute your tag. I'd much rather someone repeatedly be like "I'll be on twitter if you care" or whatever passive-aggressive thing, than have a bunch of posts on my roleplay account that are nothing. Let me ignore it if I want to.

I've complained to the point of adding it to my rules, but I hate mains. And I honestly more and more feel like I'm making the right call in that it's very mean and you shouldn't do it. I understand feeling more drawn to some muns/muses than others, but when a mun is repeatedly answering someone's stuff immediately when you've been waiting for a reply for a month. Yeah, it's a little dog shit. There needs to be an effort to balance it out between partners.

A COUPLE ACTUAL PETTY PET PEEVES. That like, I've rewritten this a bunch of times cause I don't want to be dumb and rude even though it makes me want to be very that. I hate when muns make their muses short and are just weird about it. Like, it's obviously written from the perspective of a person that is average height, who sometimes feels short, so assumes someone shorter than them always feels short. And it's like no one thinks about their height that much, stop it. But this is absolutely me, a person who is the height of all those short muses, being like bruh stop being weird. I also hate when there is an unrealistic weight put to muses. Because it's something most people ignore, so just skip it if you're gonna be dumb about it. If you feel the need to be like, my 5'6" muse 90 pounds, think about how dysfunctional that makes a person. It's beyond the realm of "my muse is skinny." But!! Again! I know this is just me being like "your fictional character is unrealistic." People like to make their muses taller than Shaq and as buff of as wrestler, but also be like "it's natural, they would never track their calories/protein intake."

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): Of course it depends. Hibiya is fun because he's awful at being fluffy, so it's great putting him in those positions where I am also so horribly uncomfortable for him. He's always angsty. It gets a little tiring. Smut is all me though, I just get lost in thinking of the details and then I forget to write any of it and it takes forever. Practice though and I know it'll be more fun. There are at least muses now that Hibi wants to be gross with finally.

Hibiko however, is like, always bordering on fluffy, to the point that she really fights angst. Which in itself is fun because that's where most of her development comes from. Surprisingly, smut will be/is really fun for Hibiko because her walls are down, which isn't the case any other time. She also doesn't have as many preconceptions as Hibiya when it comes to sex, so it's more freeing and open for me to write.

Plot or memes: Memes are more freeing. They can be long winded ideas or just a paragraph, so that's fun. But when it comes to the long run, I need to talk about plots to some extent so we're not running aimlessly.

Long or short replies: Long. Mid, really, but I'd rather it be longer than shorter. I've learned I have a hard time tapping into what my muse is going through if I'm not seeing that in return. But short ones are a very welcomed break when they come along. It's nice to easily poop out a reply without being like oh fuck okay what happens first.

Best time to write: When I'm alone in the morning before anyone wakes up (which isn't the morning but pretend it is). I like sitting in silence and enjoying the nothing going on so I can focus. I like to watch movies by myself, and it'll take twice as long because I'll pause it to write while inspired, and watch another five minutes before pausing to write again. The way god intended, really.

Are you like your muse(s): Kinda. I relate to Hibiya more. I'm more aloof than I think I am and can be a little insensitive towards other people's feelings and my words. Emotions are not my strong suit lmao.

tagged by @sansloii