#only true friends get to know that shit because fuck everyone else anyway
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apple-os · 5 months ago
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hey so i probably wont be active on this account for a good while ive got some people out there i want to entirely avoid and i dont trust that this acc is safe anymore
so if my moots want my new tumblr [or my cara or discord] lmk
hope u all r doing okay o.o
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corollaservant · 6 months ago
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Night in the Net // Shigaraki x f! reader (18+)
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Synopsis: You find yourself stranded in one hell of a sexist environment: the small town's internet café. Shigaraki's on the night shift. (3.6k)
Warnings: sex with Shiggy basically, mild degradation and misogyny from our fav incel, dom!Shiggy with a twist (no quirk obviously), use of “dollface” (i like it)
A/N: No dark themes here, peace n luv. Also.. yeah he is always linked to some gaming/electronic business ik!! but I like the trope/hc/almost canon.
You'd never imagine this was how your night would end.
Why are you there again? Right, your friends wanted to go to that after party, as if the club wasn't enough. What was supposed to be a night out ended up with you in the local internet cafĂ© (the only after hours spot) while your friends decided to go to a house party with loud techno music, which definitely wasn’t your vibe. You and your friends lived close and would often call a taxi on your way home, money wasn’t enough for you to ride solo today though—you prayed in times like these that you at least had a job; you wouldn’t have to rely on anyone then. 
You knew pretty much everyone there, it’s not like the town had more than ten thousand residents and considering the age group and schools you’d all gone to, the internet cafĂ© only had a few unknown members. On today’s shift was none other than Tomura of course, that guy was taking up as many shifts as his body would allow him to, apparently there was this rumor a family member was in crucial condition and they were in need. Tomura Shigaraki was one of these people you had branded as incel. Though hardworking (he kept a house of his own, cleaning and doing all chores by himself while providing for whomever he had), you still considered the guy as one. Now—you know the term is heavy, matter of fact, quite offending and serious as an allegation but it’s not like there weren’t rumors. Rumors he’d bash women and call them prostitutes, try to sleep with girls and trash them to his friends a day later, hating them for anything they did and claiming true love didn’t exist nowadays because “all women are sluts, who need money and validation.” Plus, he worked at the local internet cafĂ© (should be enough reason), engaging in heated conversations with his friends and fellow streamers. God, one look in their chats and you'd get as violent as possible— (not much, you'd discovered it the hard way). Thus, it was no surprise that when you enter the place, you hear whispers and scoffs.
‘’The hell are you doing here?’’ A voice was heard from within, the cafĂ© had the computer screens up front, a bar and a couch with TV in the back. Tomura was occupied in the designated bar the place had (you often wondered what kind of needs these people had—all they ever consumed was energy drinks and pre-packaged meals, takeouts were for reasons of competitive market prohibited).
‘’Just dropping by for a couple of hours, will leave soon.’’ You sigh as you take a seat on the couch, not bothering to talk to anyone, it wasn’t like they cared anyway. Loud noise and laughter can be heard all around, a couple of guys swearing and some younger boys excitedly standing above their screens. The store had a 16+ policy, but of course, no one ever checked so kids could practically stare unattended. Tomura also encouraged younger boys to play, such a piece of shit, you think, getting them to learn young. 
‘’Oh my fucking God, a slut just joined!’’ You hear some guy swear, presumably because a girl joined their online server. These guys were so disgusting, you cringe, it was no wonder they were celibate without wanting it. You stand up, you need to kill some time and you're feeling bored, you think about starting a fight with Tomura, how else could you have a little bit of fun?
You weren’t ever necessarily afraid of the guy, even though you had to admit, he looked intimidating. Quite tall with a pale complexion, ashy, dull hair and scars across his face; no one actually knew much about him and whether he was troubled, it’s not like he ever showed to work beaten up or high and usually kept a low profile. The only frightening thing this man had was his smile, it terrified you sometimes as it looked downright evil. 
‘’Getting them to learn young, huh?’’ You ask him, he’s washing up some cups from the previous round of gross gaming guys, who have now left.
‘’What?’’ He responds, not bothering to look up. 
‘’How to not get women, I mean.’’ You sigh as he huffs in annoyance.
‘’You should be grateful I let a female in my store in the first place.’’ He retorts, but doesn’t seem very angry, just ironic. Usual.
My store (you decide to skip over 'female') sounds funny but you choose not to comment on it. 
‘’So how long until you guys close?’’ You don't bother with the vocabulary—it’s routine at this point. It also never ends well and you had a great night so far, why ruin it now?
‘’Two hours.’’ 
‘’Mind if I sit on the couch? I’ll be quiet I promise’’ You ask—technically beg, as you see no other options.
‘’Ugh.. yeah I mind. There’s some guys wanting to use it, I have a group for GTA on the PS5.’’
‘’Seriously? People still play that?’’ You whine but force yourself to continue.
 ‘’Can I sit with you then?’’ It takes strength—but you say it regardless. You came to terms with the fact he was your last resort minutes ago.
‘’Sure. But you need to make yourself useful. Here, take this.’’ He hands you a wet sponge, ‘’Wash these up... carefully, while I go clean the floors.’’ He orders, as if you’re part of the staff (and new on the job apparently.)
‘’Do you actually want me to wash freaking dishes? I just came here to chill, I don’t even bother anyone!’’ You start feeling annoyed with the chores, you aren’t 16 and he isn’t your mom.
‘’You can always leave.’’ The running tap stops and he turns to you, practically shoving the wet gloves on your chest. 
‘’Or...you can stop being a brat and be of use during your stay, I have two hours left.’’ He smiles, that same smile that makes your skin crawl and blood boil as he moves away.
‘’Fuck! My dress, you asshole!’’ A wet patch now covers the too short dress as you glance at the time on your phone. 
Two hours. Two hours until your friends leave and he closes up anyway.
-
Tomura was at least true to his words. Within two insufferable hours of having to listen to appalling conversations between men (hardly to be considered as such), plate washing and the toilet being constantly occupied, the last customers get up to leave. 
You dry your hands and plop down the couch exhausted.
‘’Finally.’’ You exhale checking your phone, your friends hadn’t given you any life signs in the meantime, so you decide to patiently wait, they’d message eventually. Tomura is done sweeping the nasty floors from crumbs and dried Monster remnants, which he still has to mop (for the fourth time, you note and you've only been there some hours). You notice how restless he seems—the guy has been running the whole night after ignorant customers, who had not once shown basic respect for the order of the place yet never complained. Truly a shame he has such a misogynistic mindset, you think. He could get women, if he wanted to. 
It’s around 6:30 AM, when he presses a button to close the store's roll-up shutters halfway. Small light outside makes its way in but the place is still relatively dark, as he places the mop near the wall and takes a seat next to you.
‘’Fuuck, I’m so tired.’’ He sighs, making sure to spread his legs on the couch as much as he can, not caring (of course) about you also sitting on it. 
You always branded Tomura as an incel, that you knew about. But despite that, you now can’t help but feel for him, not knowing much about him at the same time. Sure, he technically isn’t the nicest guy but a look around would show you that he tries enough for a job kicking his ass. You find yourself sympathizing with a man, whose ideals you hate and try to brush these thoughts off.
‘’And why the fuck am I an incel anyway?’’ He asks, his head rests on the couch and his eyes are closed, he is scrunching severely—almost threatening to fall down. And he manspreads. A lot.
‘’W-well– I..’’ You never thought he’d caught on to that, stammering to stand your ground as you continue. ‘’Well, there have been rumors about you.’’ You say, but it doesn’t come off as confident as you’d hoped for. You also realize, it sounds kind of stupid.
‘’Reaaally? And you made sure to believe them, right?’’ His tone’s laced with irony but the way he talks like he whispers in a raspy voice doesn't annoy you anymore. It makes you more... uncomfortable? On the edge? Excited?...what?
‘’It’s not like you don’t claim it yourself.’’ You retort, finally finding some courage. You notice him looking at you as you awkwardly shuffle in your seat.
‘’All I’ve ever said was that I think women are good for nothing. And I still believe that, but I wouldn’t waste more of my time on that.’’ The statement makes you roll your eyes.
‘’How can you generalize a whole group of people, who are literally in no way inferior to you, you can’t tell me you’ve tried—’’ 
‘’Listen dollface, unless you want to change my mind there’s no reason to fuss that much, my opinion won’t change.’’
Unless you want to change my mind?
‘’I-I don’t.’’ You stammer, because the answer and pet name (dollface??) takes you by surprise and he laughs.
‘’Relax, you branded me an incel.’’ He jokes, ‘’don’t want the rape allegations on me too.’’ 
The more he talks, the more your mind races and you curse yourself. He seems..funny? He has a mole under his lips—fuck, it looks cute...He also looks good so (stupid as it is, yes!) you silently want his attention. Why can’t he just look you in the eyes more?
This is so wrong. He must've noticed your lost gaze as he speaks up.
‘’Wanna watch a movie?’’ He proposes and you nod, anything is better than the silence hanging in the air. Silence you caused. For thinking... things about him. 
Of course Tomura ends up choosing the most depressing film anyone can possibly watch in an internet café at 6 AM, Fallen Angels, and the dramatic cuts make it hard for you to concentrate. He at a certain point leans closer to you but you justify it, how else would he be able to see?
During this one scene, the woman pleasured herself with her legs closed, rubbing together and that’s when you feel a soft hand touch on your thigh. The dress you wore rode up, because your legs rested on the table ahead so it gave him the space he needed. The movement made you tingle and your core involuntarily contracted. The smooth fingers teasingly trailed up and down your leg, from your knees to your inner thighs. You didn’t want to look at him—he was too close and the scene seemed endless. But
he went on about it as if nothing was happening. 
Without saying a word, he carried on. A pad of his finger tip dangerously close to your now heated entrance, the images flashing before your eyes lewd, his hand tempting and threatening to reach your already soaked cunt—all this while the two of you hadn’t even shared a kiss. But he doesn't stop, looking ahead and acting like everything’s fine, until he touches your lower lips and you hiss, his finger traces the wet spot over your underwear while you try to move and speak up. 
‘’W–what are y—’’
‘’Shh..’’ is all he says. 
You want to tell him no. But no to what? You like the feeling of his two fingers against your folds. His palm moves your panties to the side and he stuffs them inside—they dampen from the fluids. How is he that quick? You can’t form a response but you’re about to ask him why—
‘’All that and I haven’t even kissed you.’’ He murmurs, gaze still fixated on the television ahead as you moan, when he slowly pumps them within your walls. Fuck, are you turned on by this?
‘’P-please..’’ You whisper, turning to look at him and for the first time, his eyes are removed from the stupid TV, a sly smile on his features as he tears away his hand.
‘’What is it? Want the incel to kiss you? Maybe even fuck you to prove a point?’’ He says and you frown.
‘’I—no, I have to go.’’ You get up, fixing (lowering) your dress—you have nowhere to go but you’ll figure it out eventually. You think staying longer only plays into his cruel intentions and whilst you can’t deny the pleasure he could give you, your pride’s in the way.
‘’You’re not going anywhere.’’ A wet hand clasps around your wrist and brings you on his lap, as he grins; you seem confused at the sensation. You are hiding the TV screen but he couldn't care less, he never paid attention to the movie.
‘’Feel the stain you left, too?’’ He says as he brings your face closer with the sticky palm grabbing you by the hair. You softly moan, noticing the small mole up close and feeling a bulge poke where your bodies meet. You sway your hips in a silent effort to have him initiate a kiss, you feel desperate and curse yourself again internally. He can only smile.
(You were so clueless, walking around in that slutty dress earlier—making him hard like that, did you even know it?)
He’s quick to kiss you, eager for more already, as mouths clash, teeth collide, the need you both have exceeds proper manners. You sloppily grind against him, the friction from a long outline beneath you makes it hard to think.
‘’I’m guessing, you’re really fucking the incel then.’’ He half smirks as he grabs you and repositions you to sit on his now fully hard cock that throbs in his pants; he lifts your dress above your ass and guides your hips sluggishly back and forth—he’s tormenting you and he enjoys it to the fullest.
‘’T-tomura..p-please.’’ You whine, the urge to have him inside you makes you blabber.
‘’Please what?’’ He slides a hand behind your waist, lowering it to find your slit from behind, his fingers pet your cunt and you moan. Loudly. He is tugging at your panties, the fabric annoys him and he wants full access and the words. The words to prove his point.
‘’P–please...fuck me already!’’ You breathe out and he groans to the sound of your voice. 
The ironic remark he prepared evaporates as he quickly pushes you back, just enough to not fall off his lap and quickly unzips his pants, thanking god for not wearing a belt. 
His pants and underwear are sloppily moved down his knees, as his cock jumps with a pop on his lower abdomen, stiff with a weeping tip. Pretty veins throb around it as your eyes widen.
Shit, he’s big, can you take him?
‘’I’d ask for a nice blowjob, dollface, but wouldn’t want the feminists after me.’’ He says as he brings you close, kissing you yet again, a string of spit runs down your jaw, as your hands roam his tangled, uncombed hair. 
He positions you on his cock, one hand snakes around your waist while the other one clings to the back of your scalp and you’re swiftly lifted by the head and pushed down on him, as you let out a scream.
‘’Shut the fuck up.’’ He hisses, quickly looking around, the sensation from almost his whole length makes you tremble, he feels too full, too painful...too good.
‘’Shit, c’mon now you got this.’’ He encourages as you hesitantly move up and down his cock, gripping his shoulders and looking at him; he seems more concentrated on the sensation than your body, staring at you while you wrap around his length.
‘’Fuck...dollface, this too much for ya?’’ He tries not to grunt and you give your best not to cry, each moment that goes by turning the initial pain to pleasure—your cunt adjusts slowly and bit by bit to his girth. 
‘’T-tomura... y-yes..it’s too much!’’ You whine, sweat forms in your forehead as his hand finds your swollen clit and circles it while your nails dig deeper in his shirt.
‘’You can take it.’’ He says, he feels you squeezing him in, you bounce with dedication on his legs, making the couch squeak as if on some sex tape—you want to bring yourself even closer. So nasty, aren't you? Acting righteous, only to fuck yourself on his cock like a desperate whore.
‘’I-ugh-p-please..’’ You try to speak but he secures his hand around your torso and sinks (lower than before) down the couch. Two strong hands force you to stay still in the air while he drills himself into you at a steady pace, kind of sloppily too. Both of you moan, the position gives equal pleasure, your clit bumps on his groin and his cock reaches your g-spot with ease.
‘’S–Shit, you’re squeezing way too much, haven’t you been fucked like this before?’’ He sounds annoyed but the stammer in his voice betrays him.
Not like this, you want to say but can’t really speak the words. Your weight falls entirely on him, he doesn’t mind one bit—he loves it actually, this skin on skin contact as he guides you on his cock, it feels surreal. He hits soft and spongy spots inside while you slowly fall apart. 
‘’T-Tomura right there..I ugh—I'm close!’’ The sensation overwhelms you, his eyes are still fixated on your face, yeah I can tell, he thinks. He gets off on your desperation, mouth parted all for him? Your eyes threaten to spill by the way he tears apart your cunt and morals bit by bit.. it’s–
‘’Tomura, aren't you closing yet?’’ Someone asks from outside, interrupting the moment. The shutters only reveal a pair of shoes. 
‘’Yeah, I’m on it.’’ Shigaraki stops composed, cockwarming you in a funny way, while a hand, his hand covers your mouth. Your eyes widen as slick trickles down his thighs in silence.
‘’Alright, see you then.’’ The man leaves and he cusses him out. (''Cunt.'')
‘’We’re not done.’’ He turns his attention back to you and seizes your face, bringing your mouth closer.
‘’Open up.’’ He orders and you do, clenching around him in anticipation.
He spits in it and closes the gap with his index finger. 
‘’Swallow or I won’t continue.’’ You quickly gulp down.
‘’So obedient all of a sudden, aren't you?’’ Sarcasm evident as he gives your ass a solid hit, before starting to get back on his pace, only more rough this time, he longs for your release on him. You’re moving up and down his length, trying to grab anything accessible really, his hair, the back of the couch, under his shirt and you feel your orgasm resurface stronger; the delay highlighted all of your senses.
‘’T-Tomura—’’ You shudder, as his cock hits your g-spot expertly–fuck, this guy wasn't some incel–and your swollen clit has to brush one last time past his groin before you feel an overwhelming orgasm take over. You clamp down his length and moan embarrassingly (Fuck Tomura! I–I'm...too good!) This time he lets you, he needs to hear this.
‘’Fuuck—agh, look at you dollface.’’ He hums, a feminist creaming herself on my cock, he wants to add but it’s too many words and you just came so he wastes no time. He brings your neck close to his mouth and bites on it, teeth sink into your flesh and hands force you all the way down. His cum spills inside and he groans, trying to stifle his moans by biting down the sensitive skin even harder. 
And fuck if that isn’t hot.
He keeps you on him, arms fasten around your waist with cum dripping onto his lowered pants but neither of you bother to care; ragged breaths and the sounds of the film still playing are audible as more light enters through the rolled shutters.
God must’ve been on your side that day because a message appears on your screen moments after you both wordlessly got up and cleaned yourselves in the bathroom. Tomura would have to clean again, you think, as the message on your phone signals your time to leave.
You turn to look at him, he has removed his shirt and small nail scratches decorate his pale back and you..smile. What the hell? Was this..? Oh no—You try to find an appropriate goodbye.
See you soon? Thanks for the mind blowing dick? You aren’t the incel I thought you were? Everything seems embarrassing at present time. 
‘’I-I’ll be seeing you soon.’’ You opt for that, stupid as it is, you still look at him in anticipation. He turns to you, hands on the mop cleaning near the couch and nods. 
Great, you think, that was a disaster. You defeatedly walk (actually stoop to get past the almost closed door) feeling like a hooker after a client, miserable and kind of used. This is always the worst part. 
You feel an arm touch your shoulder, you’ve only taken a few steps in the daylight.
‘’Take this in case you revoke your incel statement.’’
Tomura hands you a piece of paper and quickly disappears behind the store’s shadows.
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0luv9 · 11 months ago
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can't move on || mattheo riddle
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Summary: He was done fucked, a weak man on his knees for her, mad for her, in love with her and funny enough she didn't know. Him sleeping around isn't helping him though.
Beware: angst, fluff (?), minimal plot, smoking, drugs, alcohol, she/her pronouns, second person used as well, miscommunication, misunderstandings, excessive use of swear words, both reader and Mattheo assume the worst, happy ending.
Words: 4.025k
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Mattheo Riddle is in deep shit. His feelings have dug him a deep hole, a hole so deep that he could bury himself a hundred times over and still not be anywhere near the surface. He is so in love with you. And you being so fucking oblivious, mistake his advances for him being friendly. It's funny because when has he ever done something friendly? He's not even friendly to his friends, he insults them as a greeting for fucks sake. It's ridiculous how clueless you are, it was endearing at first but now it's just painful for him to watch you go on dates, that too every date with a different guy.
He thinks you've fucked them all, afterall it's him, Mattheo Riddle, he only thinks in extremes, if you've been on a date with some dude, you ofcourse had fucked him because who wouldn't do you. He resorted to the same ways, fucking his frustration out but instead of feeling satisfied, he would feel relieved for a moment and then his frustration would grow more and more, never coming close to being satisfied. He thought he could just fuck it all out, that he could just forget you, that he could just hate you. It became a routine for him, he got rougher and rougher with the girls he slept with, reaching his own high became harder and harder. It was all because of you, 'cause you couldn't see his love and make him a lover.
His reputation was worsening, his grades started slipping, he started ignoring you, becoming angry easily, snapping at anyone and everyone. Fucking girls left and right, every day was the same and he wondered why the hell he couldn't find a solution to all his problems. His smoking habits became worse, one cigarette turned into two, two turned three and now he was smoking one pack a day. His life was fucked, he could no longer think for himself, the thoughts of you with someone else corrupted his mind at all times. Everyone could see him ruining his life, he couldn't care less, he didn't give a shit about the names he was being called, most of them were true anyway.


Tonight was like every other Slytherin party night, except for the fact that he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol, all he wanted was a drunk hookup but he had slept with most of the girls in the room and he couldn't bring himself to repeat them over. He sighed, walking off to a secluded balcony, pulling out a cigarette, it was boring, life had become boring.
"Mattheo," he nearly jerked his head in the direction of your voice, it's been so long since he's heard it. All of it coming back to him, all the feelings he was trying to get rid of came right back, knocking at his heart. He's looking for the sweet smile, the one you'd always give him when you'd talk to him but all you did was frown at him, looking at him like the onlookers who gossiped about him and it fucking hurt. "Yes darling," he greeted you like nothing was wrong, before you would've smiled at his cheesy nicknames but now you grimaced at his hoarse voice and stepped back, he quickly looked away, just like that he blew off his last chance, he couldn't face it, he couldn't see you walk away from him, he physically couldn't.
"Riddle-" "Don't, don't call me that," he whispered, it was pathetic, he knows it too but that doesn't stop him, he couldn't hear you call him that. "Mattheo, I am Mattheo," he breathed out like an affirmation to himself, as though reminding himself of the person he's losing, dropping his cigarette and putting it out with his shoe. There it is, he's doing it again, acting how you'd want him to act, you disapproved of his smoking habits, you never told him to stop though, just so you know, he would stop if you only asked but you never did. You never asked anything of him, making the friendship feel one-sided, never wanting to bother him, you didn't do that with your other friends, you were openly asking them for favours albeit small, still favours, that's how friends are, looking out for eachother but no, you never expressed it, he just had to read into it. It made him feel as though he was your friend, just for the name sake, wow- he couldn't even be your friend.
He closed his eyes trying to contain himself, taking a hit from the burning cigarette, his hands were trembling, he was hurt, he could never be with you, you were making it clear. For the first time he got an actual sign of rejection and he just couldn't take it. "Riddle." It was still your voice, coming from his side, he slowly turned, there you were, standing next to him, looking at him with concern, giving him the slightest bit of hope, making his heart pound against his chest. He simply stared at you this time, unable to think of a response because you called him by his last name, you never did that. You didn't speak either, both staring at eachother, him with everything unsaid, sadness, anger, hope, longing, love, every fucking thing while you looked at him with worry painted all over your face. Mattheo hated to have people worry about him, noone was obligated to do so and he didn't want anyone to do it but right now, he didn't seem to mind, your attention was on him, worried about him. You finally looked away, placing your glass on the railing, alcohol with a lollipop in the glass, a typical you thing.
"alright, Mattheo," a small smile was tugging at your lips at his actions, "tell me, what's going on?" He didn't have anything to say, what would he say anyway? Upon not receiving an answer you sighed and continued, "Draco was telling me how different you've been-" he scoffed loudly interrupting you, ofcourse this is what it is, Malfoy sending you to talk to him, to scold him like everyone else, ofcourse you wouldn't come to him on your own, he was so fucking worthless in your eyes. “Don’t do that Mattheo-“ “Yeah? Why not? Coming here to scold me like everyone else, you know what, surprise surprise, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” He was angry, you come to talk to him after all these days and it was to tell him, that he’s bad, that he’s wrong, yes, he started it by ignoring you but you didn’t even make an effort to talk to your “friend” while he was away, it pained him to know that you didn’t even care to check up on him.
“No, I am worried Mattheo, this is not okay for you,” you moved closer, shaking your head trying to find the words, “I tried Mattheo, to catch you, to talk to you but you were always turning away, ignoring me, I couldn’t even get a proper look at you these weeks. Draco was joking about you smoking two a day, one for each girl you slept with, it was then but now, a whole pack a day? I tried to get to you, tried to see what’s been hurting you, but all I saw was your back towards me.” You paused, looking around clearly frustrated, “I thought maybe you didn’t want to talk about it, so I stopped trying but I am sorry, I can’t help myself, I care about you Mattheo and I hate to see you like this,” you looked up at him, hoping he’d understand but he only stared at you blankly, maybe you were wrong to care, he clearly didn’t want to be bothered, you sighed yet again, clearly there was no point, you could only wish for him to be better.
You mustered up all the courage you could, moving closer to the brunette who still hadn’t said a thing, “I am sorry for bothering you, I hope you win whatever battle it is that you are fighting, just know that I care and I can’t help but be worried when you are hurting, sorry if it is selfish that I want you to be better, I won’t disturb you anymore” you gave him a small smile, going up on your tiptoes planting a small kiss on his cheek, lingering for a moment, holding his hand in both of your own giving it a hard squeeze before letting go. It pained you to see that he didn’t seem to care about his own life, making you feel useless for doing the same, he was dear to you, you didn’t want to let go of him but clearly he didn’t want the same, who were you to deny him of anything? So, you let go, taking the moment in before walking away, the tears were ready to fall, you weren’t going to let him see that, you didn’t want him to see how pent up you were over him when he couldn’t even bring himself to care.
Mattheo could feel his chest burn, he could feel the sting in his heart at the sight of you walking away, his knees felt weak, you cared? You tried to reach out? Yes you did, of course you did, you weren’t the ugly person he tried to paint you as, he wanted to hate you so bad, he wanted you to be wrong, he wanted you to scold him, he wanted you to hate him just so he could move on but no, he could never move on from you, even if you spat his way he’d love you. ‘Sorry if it is selfish-’ he fucking wants you to be selfish, he wants you to be selfish about him. Only if he wasn’t busy imagining you with other guys, maybe he would’ve noticed that you smile a bit more around him, just maybe he’d see your eyes looking out for him. Maybe then he would’ve seen the look in your eyes, one similar to his, but he was a fool, he’d always be unworthy of your love, you wouldn’t love someone like him, he ruled that possibility out the very moment he fell in love with you, thereby in his mind even if you actually loved him, you didn’t because he couldn’t see it.
He called after you, he couldn’t see you walk away, not when he has so much to say. You turned around, he saw tears in your eyes, he felt like dying, it was him who made you cry, if he didn't hate himself before, he clearly did right then. With two wide strides he was infront of you, holding your face, wiping away your tears, "please don't walk away from me," he muttered, trying to get you to look up at him, you look up at him with stars in your eyes, taking his breath away, 'I want you so bad' he thinks to himself but it's false, no, he doesn't simply want you, he fucking needs you like the air you take away from him, when you look at him like that- hazy eyed, making him think that you love him but he knows you don't, he knows you don't love the guys you go on dates with, he knows you don't love the guys you sleep with, in his eyes you love to care but don't care to love, he'll be one of those guys, if it means you'll have him, even if it is for one night.
He was staring at you, looking for a sign, waiting for you to push him away but you just look at him with glossy eyes, making him weak, unable to contain himself he presses his lips against yours, you hiss pulling back, the bitter taste of smoke invading your senses, your reaction hurts him, he couldn't even be one of your guys, that's how worthless he is, his grip loosens, he tastes you on his lips, sweet cherry- the lollipop still sugary on your lips. Then you surprise him, fisting his collar, pulling him down, soft lips on his, like honey against his smoke. He loses it then and there, his hand comes up to hold your face, the other low on your back pulling you flush against him. It was heaven, eyes closed, moving in sync, savouring every second, he could feel his skin tingle, his body burn, it was pathetic how you could bring him to feel so much with the simplest of touches, and now you were kissing him, better than any dream or fantasy, it's real, he reminds himself, frowning as he concentrates trying to capture every single detail, of you against him.
Mattheo walks you back to the railings, not letting go of you even for a second. You pull away as the cold metal makes contact with your body, the sting seeping through the thin layer of your clothes. Still impossibly close practically breathing the same air, then the situation dawns upon you, you look up at Mattheo in horror. This is what has become of your love for him, he's using your attraction towards him to get you into bed, just like he did with other girls. There was no difference in their relationship with him and yours with him, evidently so. You loved kissing him but you hated the fact that it meant everything to you but all it was to him was a one night stand, your dignity would not allow it, even though you wanted him so badly. "I'm- I'm sorry but I can't," you quickly walk off, not looking back this was humiliation, you felt embarrassed.
One moment you were there kissing him and the next you were gone, he fucking hates this because he doesn't know what to do or what made you push him away. You gave him hope when you kissed him but shattered it when you walked away, you were confusing him. Why'd you kiss him like that if you wanted to let go? His hands reach out to pull at his hair, "Fuck" he grits out, it was frustrating not knowing what to do, knowing he has done something wrong. But for the most part, he doesn't know how you feel, you kissed him like you felt something but you walked away like it was nothing. He's over it.


He's absolutely not over it. He couldn't even stick to the plan for five seconds, images of you in his arms plagued his mind. He could only cherish that moment, he felt more alive in those few seconds than he ever did, his lips are still tingling, it's the next morning and his head is still in clouds. Mattheo for once, feels human- he feels like going to class again just so he could see you. The wound of your rejection was still fresh in his heart but so was the memory of your lips against his in his mind.
He could handle the professors' taunts, he infact muted them out and zeroed in on your face, you were avoiding him, he could see it, trying so hard just like he did the past few weeks. He saw himself in you for a moment but then you started talking to some Hufflepuff dude next to you, smiling at him so pretty, his blood started burning hot when he saw the guy touch you. You did nothing to push him away, pfft- ofcourse he wasn't Mattheo fucking Riddle that you'd push him away.
Mattheo was practically burning holes into you skull as he took a seat in the very back. Only if he wasn't so overtaken by jealousy he'd see that your smile didn't reach your eyes as you laughed at the Puff's joke, that your reactions were simply polite, a mere distraction from the pinching of your heart. You didn't want to be one of the girls he slept with, didn't want to be discarded after being used.
He couldn't even be one of your guys, he fucking wanted it to be him so bad just to have your for a night, just so you could see him in a different light, just so you'd know that he loved you. He'd gladly be discarded by you.


Mattheo has been searching for you, for about an hour now, you were minx- rushing out of the class before he could catch upto you. You were no where to be seen, he was actually getting worried. He was just about to enter the dungeons when he saw Pansy near the entrance. She'd know your whereabouts, she was a close friend of yours. She'd help him too, because she was his friend as well, right? Or had he destroyed every relationship he had the past few weeks. "Pans, a moment please" "oh hey Mattheo," she greeted him with a smile, that's a good sign, "umm- do you know where-" there he was, polite stuttering fucktard, "oh I know where she is," He didn't even tell her who he was looking for, confusion taking over his features, "I saw you looking at her in class, you like her don't you?" Was he that obvious? If so, why couldn't she see it? "Yeah," he finally admitted it to someone else, it was out there now, he felt some weight lift off of his shoulders, there was no denying to it, he loved her and he doesn't care if he gets laughed at for it but then his heart stops at her next words. "She's on a date with some Hufflepuff, in Hogsmeade," her voice was sympathetic, hurt was painted all over his face.
They were standing there in awkward silence for a couple of minutes before she broke it, heading towards the entrance, "You know you should tell her," she gave him a small smile, she patted his back ready to slip into the entrance, he stopped her "Why? Did she say something about me?" His voice was full of hope, hoping that maybe she had confessed to her friend just like he did right then but to add onto his sorrow, Pansy shook her head, he let his head hang low, moving his hand over his face, scoffing bitterly at the situation he was in, "but you should still tell her, at least you'll be satisfied knowing that you did something about it than do nothing." She shrugged walking in, leaving him there to think about her words.
She is right. He has to know, to know how you feel, he has to talk to you, has to let you know how he feels because in his heart, there's hope that you may like him back because you kissed him like you did. Mattheo wants to confirm that it wasn't his delusions that rendered your lips to move against his in adoration, something more than just physical. He has to hold you again in his arms-
He didn't even have to walk far away to find you, walking alone in the empty corridor but you turn around as you see him. Mattheo won't let you do that this time, he's onto you within seconds grabbing your wrist and pulling you back. "What-" "Please don't ignore me-" "I am not!" You sound defensive, taking your hand back, folding them as you look at him as though he is some lowlife human, there's a similar hurt in your eyes, one he knows a bit too well. "Yes you are, please don't try to deny it," he says slowly and carefully, he doesn't want you to walk away, "what do you want Mattheo?" You are annoyed, you stretch out his name showing your impatience. He takes his sweet time though, taking your hands in his, they feel cold, snatching away the warmthness of the action, "Why did you walk away? Yesterday?" "Why? Is there some rule against it-""no no ofcourse not-" both of you interrupting each other, you were frustrated, what was he trying to do? Did his ego take such a huge hit that you didn't want to sleep with him, like those girls he used and discarded? "Tell me why is it that you care? It's not a huge deal to you, you can have anyone else to sleep with you, it shouldn't matter that one girl decided to walk away when you have tens and hundreds lining up-" "WHAT?" He was looking at as though you were saying something ridiculous, "I cared about our relationship enough not to ruin it but you had to be there, trying to use me like you use the other girls and then discard me-" "STOP!" He holds your face in his hands, intense gaze setting you ablaze, "I fucking care, don’t think otherwise, I care because it's you, you could never be them-"
"wow- am I so worthless and unattractive in your eyes that you don't even-" "Wait, it should be me saying all of this, about you and the guys you on dates with, the guys you take to bed-" "What guys-" you both were now screaming at eachother, it was overwhelming, having to be vulnerable and admit your feelings and not understand what the person in front of you is saying. "I have not once slept with the guys I went on dates with, I'm in love with you for fucks sake but I got tired of waiting for you to love me," What.
He fucked up.
"Fuck, fuck-" his knees hit the ground as he covers his face with his hands, he's ruined all his chances by being an assuming dickhead. Heavens goodness- "FUCK!" He groans into his palms, not being able to digest what you had just said, he feels ecstatic that you love him but he hates that he's ruined his chances with you, "Mattheo-" "Fuck, I am so sorry, I've been a fool, a fucking idiot-" he pulls you down, grabbing your hands, crying because he doesn't know any other way to express it. He has lost his chance all because he let jealousy get the best of him, took illogical steps to overcome it. "I love you, I fucking am in love with you," he grips your hands tight, shaking them as he speaks, unable to control his very physical reaction, "Mattheo what-" "I thought that I could fuck it all out, fuck all the feelings away but no you were always on my mind, not just you but you with someone else, happy. I thought maybe I could resort to your ways, thought maybe I could sleep around then I'd get rid of my feelings, afterall you seemed happy doing it but you never- FUCK! I am so fucking sorry, I love you-" you kiss him, he sure was an idiot to think that you could just flip a switch and "unlove" him, what kind of love would that be? You hated to admit it, you loved him even when he was sleeping with so many girls, you loved him before he did that, a few weeks were nothing to make you hate him.
It was brief kiss, enough to silence him, tears were still running down his face- he was a heartbroken man on his knees afterall- they were only a sign of his regret, then he was at it again, apologising, "stop Mattheo, you are foolish if you think that I'll love one moment and not love you the next-" "but you don't deserve it, not after what I did-" "let me decide that. Do you love me?" Your ask is serious, so he answers you with utmost sincerity, his words soft, full of truth "I love you, more than I think I can handle," he looks down, you don't let him as you wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him close, "Learn to handle it then, I am not going anywhere." For the first time in his life, does Mattheo experience pure bliss, you are a sin against his lips, he pulls you closer like a prayer because if there's a god above, he'd pray for you to be his.
...
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago
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AITA for faking my death to get out of an abusive relationship?
Tw for verbal + mental/psychological abuse and suicide
I used to be in a discord server with some friends, there were about 40 people in it, only around 20 who were actually active. It was a while ago I can't remember. I was in that server for about 4 months.
From the start, people would occasionally get mad at me over something I didn't do. About every month or so someone would start a rumor about me and make the whole server gang up on me, I'd tell them it was false, but everyone would still avoid me for the next couple days.
I never did anything wrong, but I was always the center of the drama, and when I asked one person, R, why, he said he didn't know and that I didn't deserve so much hate.
About a week later R was talking in the vent channel about how I had manipulated him. I DMed him to ask why, and he told me it was because I asked him if he was my friend. I thought it was fucking stupid because it's not manipulative to be paranoid, but I pretended to be sorry because I didn't want him to be mad at me.
The server also had a bot where you could submit anonymous messages, and lots of people would use that feature to make up things about me to ruin my reputation.
After a while I left the server and only stayed in contact with a few people. However, every couple days another person would tell me I'm a monster and gaslight me into thinking I'm a terrible person, and every time I asked why they hated me they didn't give me an answer.
My only real friend, T, showed me some messages from the others after I left the server, and a bunch of people were making up stories about bad things I had done to them, and people who I had never even spoken to were saying that I had abused them and was dangerous.
Once someone told me thay they understood all the things R had said about me weren't true, but said it was still my fault anyway, and even told me that R had done nothing wrong (he lied about me in front of the entire server and is the reason I lost all my friends, and he yelled at me and called me evil because I was suicidal), and then they accused me of faking having amnesia because I had flashbacks.
Eventually, only four of my "friends" hadn't blocked me, and they almost never talked to me. Everyone kept calling me a terrible person because R spread lies about me and everyone else believed him instead of me.
It was to the point where I couldn't go one day without someone sending me death threats or trying to guilt trip me with false information, and I was getting very sever flashbacks of the stuff R had said to me, and I started failing classes because I couldn't focus on anything.
Eventually I had had enough, so I tagged them all in a tumblr post about how I was going to kill myself and then logged out of both that tumblr account and my old discord account forever.
(Also about a month after I had left, I got texts from irl friends, and it turns out someone on the server found the contact info of people I knew in real life just to ask if I was dead or not. And that scared the shit out of me.)
I've left out a lot of details of the abuse because of amnesia. I have a mental disorder which makes it hard to remember things, plus the brain often blocks out traumatic memories, so I'm sorry if some info feels missing.
The only reason I feel like I might be an asshole is because once I was gone, all of them switched targets and started to harass T. They said they hated him for being on my side, and sent him death threats on anon because he was mad at them for killing his friend. They started treating him the same way they treated me, and called him a horrible person but refused to give a reason as to why, and if I had stayed around they would've left him alone.
@should-be-dead (made a sideblog so I get notified when this is posted)
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daegutowns · 8 months ago
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your enhypen hogwarts boyfriend 
tags: hogwarts au, gn!reader, this is the grind rn
gryffindor: heeseung, niki 
heeseung: quidditch team chaser 
secretly (not so secretly) an attention seeker
please expect to hype him up and fawn over him on quidditch match days -- especially on matches with slytherin (he always has a bet with jay) 
“babe i need you to boo jay if he ever comes near you.” 
and he is so serious about this 
mcgonagall claims she doesn’t like him but he’s just lucky that he’s actually really good at quidditch (bc his transfiguration grades are not sexy) 
excels in defense against the dark arts AND potions but snape hates him 
he swears up and down he didn’t do anything this time to get detention but you know better. and he’s always begging the captain to not kick him off
“please, you know snape wants my left buttcheek!” 
talks shit before the match (especially to jay) and then feigns innocence if he’s asked about it 
this is the result of years of watching quidditch matches with his dad (their favorite team is the montrose magpies -- and he WILL badmouth puddlemere united if that team is mentioned) 
likes to sleep next to you in the library after practice while you study 
riki: quidditch team beater  
rebellious, passionate, and playful -- riki is a gryffindor through and through
always getting caught up in pranks. denies ever being inside zonko’s even though that’s the first place he goes in hogsmeade 
like okay ????
claims mrs. norris (filch’s cat) is best friends with him, but he has no real way of proving this 
shy about pda because of his friends, so he likes meeting up with you in secret and passing you notes in class 

until he gets caught and has to read them out loud
then he decides that fuck it! it’s better to just air it out anyways. not his problem what they find disgusting! 
straight up livin’ that thug life y’all #getrekt
lowkey getting brainwashed by heeseung (go magpies!) 
makes up all his dreams for his divination dream journal but always makes it about you so he can pretend to be offended if someone says it’s fake
hufflepuff: sunghoon, jungwon 
sunghoon: prefect (head boy) 
this hard-working and kind-hearted boy is a true hufflepuff through and through
everyone thought by his looks that he’d either be in slytherin or ravenclaw, but it’s more obvious when he opens his mouth 
he’s kind of like cedric diggory -- super well-liked, popular, good-looking, and smart
he’s got all the hufflepuff girls and gays giggling around him n shit 
“first years follow me to the common room” and the new hufflepuffs are tripping over their feet trying to ask him questions 
it’s okay because he only has eyes for you <3 
haha jk sometimes he’ll tease you and say “are you jealous? you look jealous~” and then backtrack and say nevermind that he’s sorry and he doesn’t actually know what other people look like. in fact he only knows one name and it’s yours. 
he doesn’t really need to be doing all that but it’s fun messing with him 
goes around humbly (not so humbly) bragging about you until he gets smacked by snape for messing around during (but that doesn’t stop him) 
he likes taking you to cheesy date spots, like madam puddifoot’s tea shop or the covered walkway near spintwitches sporting needs where everyone else had their first kisses 
jungwon: quidditch team seeker   
well-rounded, responsible, and dependable -- these are all traits of a hufflepuff that describe jungwon perfectly 
to be honest, he’s really just here for the vibes
his favorite pastime is collecting chocolate frog cards 
(he is specifically looking for the gold and silver albus dumbledore cards that have been out of circulation for years)
he’s a very talented seeker, but everyone else’s praise doesnt mean anything. he needs YOUR praise specifically and will pretend to not like it just so he can hear it more (but you know better!) 
please help him study
 he is definitely getting that quidditch scouting from a professional team but jungwon said he might get a T (troll) in history of magic 
he has a black cat named dooly that terrorizes him before he sleeps
you like dragging him to the kitchens to eat chocolate snacks with him before bed, but he gets nervous sneaking out sometimes
likes sitting underneath the big willow tree near the black lake with his head in your lap. please run your hands through his hair! 
ravenclaw: jake 
jake: quidditch team beater  
everyone really would’ve expected that he would’ve been in either gryffindor or hufflepuff just based on personality alone 
the sorting gave him a choice, and he just went with the house that had more of his friends that he made on the train 
he loves it when you show up to practice because now it’s even more awesome! now even more of his favorite people are in the same place
“babe look at this!” while he does a flip ??? 
if he falls off, now both you AND the rest of his team can laugh at him 
loves it even more if you show up to his games fully decked out (beyond his imagination) in his house colors, even if that’s not your house
he never expects this from you but he’s soooo happy when it happens that it motivates you to keep doing it 
self-declared next quidditch captain (and flitwick will give it to him) 
he’ll even tutor you in transfigurations (his best subject) for kisses, because despite being an athlete, he’s also got good grades???? sometimes god has favorites 
“if you think i’m a cool boyfriend, give me a kiss” 
his favorite type of date is sneaking out to the kitchens with you and sharing a pudding cake
slytherin: jay, sunoo
jay: quidditch team keeper  
unsurprisingly, jay comes from a long line of other slytherins
he’s pretty laidback compared to the rest of his family, but always insists that you go with him to family functions (because “baby they’re too boring without you!”) 
you two always end up at the snacks table gossiping with his cool cousins anyways 
flexes by buying you all your snacks on the train + of course covers all the dates 
pretty popular within slytherin house, but only because he’s good at quidditch and also has pretty good grades (in everything except herbology) 
hates the keeper pickup lines and jokes but likes 
lined up to be the next captain! 
claims he wants to work for the ministry of magic’s department of mysteries
“i got an image to keep”
whatever you say babygirl ^^
expects to be holding hands whenever you’re walking the halls with him
requires a good luck kiss before every quidditch match
sunoo: prefect 
a lot of people expected sunoo to get into hufflepuff! he defies expectations 
seriously, he made a name for himself within the house
with as ambitious as he is, it’s not that surprising to see that someone has confident and charming as him is in slytherin 
he’s someone with friends in every house, probably in every year too
he’s got an “in” with every club on hogwarts campus, so take your pick bae. the world’s your oyster! 
he flexes like jay, but instead of galleons, he takes you to restricted areas of campus using his prefect badge 
would actually help you break the rules if you wanted to
“you want to break in where?! okay, wait, let me get--” 
likes it when you compliment his thoughtfulness or talent in these areas 
his best subject is charms ;) 
his favorite pastime is watching quidditch practices with you, but all you do is yap together
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grapejuicestyless · 1 month ago
Text
Letter To An Old Poet
JJ Maybank x fem!reader
Summery: She would have given him the moon, and he only ever realized he wanted it until she couldn’t anymore. Part two to Moon Song
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“I think that you’re special.”
He smiled, hands wrapped around the dead lumber he sharpened with his pocket knife, the scraping sound was unavoidably heard swirling around the July fog. The rope creaked each time the wind blew us into a soft sway, and the grass beneath us tickled our bottoms as we hung dangerously close to the soil and it’s roots.
ïżœïżœYou think?” He laughed through his teeth, scoffing softly, the breath between his sighs confirming he didn’t really care about my choice of words.
“I know.” I promised him, looking at the way the moon highlighted his waves and the stars casted a glow over his cheeks.
He was focused on his makeshift spear still, carving away like his life depended on it, like it meant something to him.
The rope threatened to snap when I crawled over to him. I didn’t even have the heart to pull his knives and his weapons from his palms, I simply settled between the bends of his arms and laid contently on his chest. I felt the flakes of oak falling on my back, and his arms squeezed me a little tighter as he worked.
“So needy.” He laughed, because he knew it was true. I would lay between him and a flame to feel the comfort of his touch.
I loved him irrevocably, naively, delicately. My whole self was poured into the glass that was him. Yet, he hadn’t been able to fall in love with my overflow. Maybe I didn’t under it yet then, but soon I would.
“I just want you all to myself.” I breathed against his chest, my fingers fiddling with the loose threads on his shirt, one I was already planning on fixing for him. Little acts of service, touch, kindness, and pure love. All languages I spoke only for him.
“You’re so selfish.” He joked.
“Shut up, you dork.” I love you.
“Oh, so now I’m a dork?” I love you.
I nodded my head, smiling and pressing my forearms against his broad chest. I felt his knife settle against the back, closed and not wielding any threats. JJ would never hurt me, not yet, anyway.
I love you.
“Maybe I should just find someone who appreciates me.” He teased. Did he know how hard I loved him?
“Shut up, Maybank!” I laughed into his shoulder. I love you.
“Make me.” He retorted.
So, I shut him up, and I kissed him hard, in the dark, in the hammock.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I loved you.
“How many more times do I have to promise you I don’t want her!” JJ shouted. It seemed like that’s all we ever did anymore. Fought, cried, hugged, and disappeared from each other’s lives.
“You don’t get it.”
“No, I don’t, please, enlighten me, Y/n. Because I’m fucking confused and nobody’s telling me shit!” He pulled at the roots of his hair, dirt kicking up behind him. We walked along a windy road, the one that branched off from the Chateau. I had simply left the last things of his I had left to remind me of what I lost in a box on the porch. But he’s a leech, and he had to have known I would give him back his clothing, because even as selfish as I was with him, it wasn’t mine to keep to myself anymore.
“You think you’re a good person, just because you won’t punch me in the stomach.”
Silence fell over us, my eyes looking up into his, and his mouth hung open like a fish out of water, an idiot trying to make himself sound like a poet. But he never had a way with his words, that was always my dealing of cards.
“And still, I loved you. I don’t know why, I just do.” I spoke softly, sniffling as I used all of my willpower to not cry in front of the man I swore would never see me weak again. Not after he made a fool of me in front of everyone I cared about. The same people I would never get the privilege of meeting again, because our friends were just his at the end of the day.
“Good, then love me. Let yourself love me, because I love you. I love you more than anything else and I can’t
I can’t lose that!” He pleaded, grasping at my limbs like threads that clung to the sleeves of his shirts.
“No, no. JJ, I can’t. You’re not someone who gets to be special in my life anymore. Not then, and not now. Maybe I believed you deserved it then, maybe I believed it when I watched you kissing her, and maybe I believed it when you promised me she meant nothing, but I can’t believe it now.”
“Why not!” He begged for an answer.
“Because you’re not special, you’re evil.” I spoke softly. “You don’t have to hit a girl to hurt her. And you’ve hurt me more than you could ever have known.”
He could have watched me fall down the stairs, and he wouldn’t have shown remorse, so I wasn’t shocked at the stone faced boy that stood in front of me, confused, conflicted, maybe.
“I still think you’re special. No, I know you are.”
I nodded as he spoke. I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say. The girl he loved would have laid on a wire for him, but the woman I was now would tell him to find another way. She wouldn’t sacrifice herself for a boy who couldn’t love her the way she deserved, and she was coming to terms with understanding that, that was okay. Because the truth was, he had treated me like his equal, and so I became that, but I’m better than him, and he should know that by now.
“You don’t even know me.” I cried, pulling myself together as soon as I broke. I sucked up my tears in a wet mess, my knuckles shaking, dripping with the tears they tried to stop.
“Of course I do, I know you. I love you.”
I shook my head, backing away, even as he followed in my footsteps.
“You hesitated, JJ. You hesitated when I asked if you loved her. When you love someone, you don’t even have to think about saying no to a question like that. If you knew me, if you knew what I would have done for you, for us, you would have known I would have never done that to you.” I spoke bitterly, closing my eyes to stop the tears, I hiccuped between breaths.
“She’s my best friend.” JJ spoke like his reason was obvious.
“And you were mine.”
Silence. Cold, hard, silence. It’s what hits when both people realize they’ve come to a silent ending in their conversation. We didn’t have to keep arguing for us, because there was no more us, and the silence was just the fact of that settling in.
I’m ready to finally walk into a room without looking for JJ. My eyes wander over every corner looking for the boy whose arm I hung off of for so many years. The boy who ripped my youth from me, and the boy I will always be thankful for because now I know that only dogs appreciate the gifts I brought for him.
I want to be happy, with or without him. And soon, I know it will happen for me. I am too good to waste my energy on someone who couldn’t love half as hard as I did.
Maybe he couldn’t have. But maybe he just realized it too late for us.
But I’m ready to love without him, and I’m ready to be happy.
I can’t feel it yet, but I am waiting.
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uwukillmenowowo · 6 months ago
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Hello I have a request can you do a various Yandere MHA x Reader (like class 1a vs class 1b type of stuff) if that's comfortable with you!
WOOOOO!! I don’t mind at all :D
Haha I hope this is good- This is rlly my first time writing a Yandere Varius X Reader soooo......
HHHHHNNNNNGGGGG
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COMPETITION
(Yandere BNHA X F!Reader!)
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Notes:
Reader/ [Y/n] will be female for the sake of ✹Cliche writing~!✹
[Y/n]'s quirk allows her to manipulate water Juvia Lockser style [I chose water because it goes well with a lot of the class's quirks]
[Y/n]'s personality is the classic "Naive, innocent, strawberry milk sweetheart"
I may have left out something but I forgot what it was... :(
I hope it's still good tho :)
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Lately all your friends have been acting weird. They want to do stuff like hanging out with you more, have a spar, have a snack, study, stuff like that. At first you found it cute and spent time with whoever asked first... but now... things have become... rough.
{Your POV}
~~~~~
"[Y/n]-Chaann~!" I yelped as I suddenly got hugged from behind. "Mina..?" I questioned. I heard her laugh and when I turned around, I saw the whole Bakusquad there. "What's up guys?" I asked as I tilted my head.
"Oh! We were planning to hit up the arcade. You wanna join?" Kriishima asked as he slung his arm around Kaminari. I groaned and rubbed my arm. "Sorry guys, I have something going on." They looked dissappointed but Bakugo just seemed pissed. More so than usual. "AH?! What could be more important? You're already hella smart and your quirk is kick ass!" I chuckled and blushed at the praise. "Yeah... True... It is only grocery shopping...but-"
"Then we can go to the arcade and then we can walk with you to the store."Kaminari suggested. "O-Oh! You don't have to! I mean- I still have-" Before I was able to finish my sentence, the door to the class opened and I saw Tetsutetsu, Kuroiro, Shiozaki, and Kendo. "Good afternoon. Is [Y/n]-San here?" I smiled and told the people in front of me goodbye before I jogged to the door. "Sorry! Just saying my goodbyes. We can go now." I told Kendo.
She smiled at me and in return, Tetsutetsu linked our arms and dragged me and the 1-B students away.
{Third POV}
~~~~~
It was silence for a while as class 1-A stared at the door that was left open. "WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY IS SHE HANGING OUT WITH THOSE CLASS B NOBODIES?!?" Screamed the blonde haired boy as he activated his quirk. "*hmph* Bakugo, calm down, we all agreed that we wouldn't act against each other until [Y/n] gave an answer." A black haired male ran into front of Bakugo to stop his quirk. "*Tch*... Dammit four eyes-" Bakugo glared at the class president before groaning and exited the class.
"Bakugo? Where are you going?!" Yaoyorozu asked, worried that [Y/n] might see all their true colours. "MAKING SURE THOSE EXTRAS DON'T DO STUPID SHIT!"
Everyone else in the class sighed. They also wanted to do the same but they know it will be suspicious.
{Your POV}
~~~~~
I thanked Shiozaki as she bought us all ice cream. "You really didn't have to buy these..." I smiled and licked my [Fav. Flavor] ice cream. "And Tetsutetsu, you don't have to hold my grocery bags." But Tetsutetsu and Shiozaki just looked more proud and happy with themselves. "We can walk you home too is you want?" Kendo asked as she stood behind me.
I sweatdropped. "Oh! That's too much! It's getting dark so I can't! You guys need to get home too so-" "I'm sure it'll be fine. We live in the same area anyways." Kuroiro said, looking at the others. "Are you sre? If it gets too late than you guys can stay over for the night..." That made the four of them smile. "Oh we won't take long, I'm sure" I smiled back and sighed. "Okay, fine. Let's go."
{Third POV}
~~~~~
"SHE'S GONNA- *MMPHHH*" Bakugo flailed around as the other grabbed him, covering his mouth and pulled him back into their hiding space. "Shhhhuuu! Bakubro she's gonna hear you!" Kirishima whispered and he used his quirk and hugged Bakugo to trap him. "Ahh! What should we do?!" Ashido asked as she gripped her hair.
"Don't worry. I texted the chat." "YOU DID WHAT?!?" The Bakusquad all glared at Kaminari. "Huh? What was that?" The Bakusquad all ducked into the alleyway, tightly holding onto the explosive Pomeranian. "[Y/n]... We should go. They could be a thief, or a villain." They heard a member of Class B suggest. "Hmm... Okay. Let's hurry."
They heard the group that they were tailing start to jog and they all shared their annoyance. "*Tch* It's no use. They're all at [Y/n]'s home so there's no point in tailing them anymore." Sero groaned and facepalmed. "That sucks. 'Cause Midoriya, Todoroki, and Iida are already on their way. So are Uraraka, Yaoyorozu, and Jiro." The Bakusquad grit their teeth while Bakugo activated his quirk, letting out muffled yells. "This stupid idiot-" Sero sighed and smacked the back of Kaminari's head. "Hey!"
But before Kaminari could respond, the three boys he mentioned earlier just arrived, along with Uraraka, Yaoyorozu, and Jiro arrived. "Where are they?!" Midoriya asked as he kept a straight face.
"Simple~ Anywhere where no class 1-A morons are!" Out came a voice that 1-A was all too familiar with. "OF COURSE IT'S YOU, COPYCAT!" Bakugo yelled, getting out of Kirishima's grip. The "Copycat" just laughed and from both side of the ally, came more students from class 1-B. "An ambush?! So you knew?" Yaoyorozu stated firmly, reaching for her stomach and pulled out a spear while the other class 1-A activated their quirks.
"Whoa... Whoa... Settle down! You wouldn't want dearest to find out about this little thing do you~?" Kaibara chuckled as he pulled out his phone with a video that the 1-A students knew all too much about. A video of... a certain person who... let's just say tried to do bad stuff to our dear reader. "How?" Iida demanded, getting into a fighting position.
Monoma stepped forwards. "Relax~ We won't actually do anything yet." He laughed as he clapped twice. At the signal, Class 1-B all charged at 1-A. Because of the small allyway they were in, class 1-A had trouble controlling their quirks. I mean, sure they have control but their anger of being blackmailed messed with them.
"You tell her and I swear on All Might's name I will completely mmmmmmhh- frick you up." Uraraka exclaimed, pouting. "Ohhhh no~ We're so scared" Kodai responded with sarcasm. After a great stare off, they all launched their attacks both sides determined to beat the other to prove the strength of their love.
[Request for Pt.2]
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AAAHHHHH!!! THIS WAS BAD IT HAD MORE RIVALRY THAN... STUFF
THIS WAS HONESTLY MY FIRST TIME WRITING A YANDERE x READER- SOOOOOO I HAD NO CLUE WHAT TO DO WITH THE PLOT MY MIND JUST WENT. "Okay, fight, love, hate, fight, kill, blood, love, jelly jelly, tsun tsun, fight, jelly, hate, love, blood, tsun tsun, blood, fight, kill, jelly jelly."
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spidernuggets · 11 months ago
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Jason Todd x Reader
"Where are you going? Look, the Titans needs us-"
"Fuck them, Rose. Fuck all of you"
"Jason, please! Where are you gonna go?? We can figure something out!"
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When Jason left with Rose out of Gotham City, you were heartbroken. You kept a one-sided love hidden, thinking it would be too selfish to confess your feelings to him while he's in an unstable state of self hatred. But when Dick revealed that he killed Deathstroke's son just moments after you managed to get Jason to step away from the ledge, you almost let your secret slip when Jason was swiftly packing his things as you begged him to stay.
"Figure what out, Y/N? Huh? Why are you even staying? Almost everyone is leaving anyway, and Dick is just a liar," Jason argued, stuffing his duffle bag with whatever clothes he could find.
"Because the Titans are the only family I have! At least Gar is staying. But you don't have to leave, Jay"
"And why shouldn't I? There's nothing for me here. Everyone hates me, hell, even you probably hate me. You only got me off the roof out of pity"
"That's not true, Jason."
"Then why else would you?!"
"Because I-" You quickly stop yourself, knowing things would only become worse if your feelings were revealed. So you took a deep breath and took a second to calmed down.
"Because you're my friend, Jay. One of the best friends I ever had. And I don't want you to leave," you say quietly.
Jason stared at you for a couple of seconds before taking your hand in his. "Then come with us. You don't have to do everything Dick tells you to anymore, no more lies, no more half truths."
You sighed, "I can't."
"Why not?"
"Yeah, I don't think I like the idea of third wheeling you and Rose," you try to joke, but your heart actually aching at the thought. "But seriously, I don't think leaving is a good idea, especially with Deathstroke around. And being alone with his daughter, I mean-"
"Wait, what you don't trust her or something?" Jason interrupts you, taking slight offence.
"I'm just saying to be cautious, Jason. I mean, Deathstroke already kidnapped you once and-"
"And what? You think Rose is working with him? Jesus Christ, and I thought I was fucked up," He scoffs. "Y'know, Rose admired that I made it out alive from her dad. I managed to make it out alive, and you still think I'm weak?"
"Jason, I never said that!-"
"Nah, fuck this, you're just like everyone else here," Jason says, zipping his bag close and storming out the room.
"Jason!" You tried calling out, just for him to ignore.
-
"What, was it part of Daddy's training to fuck me this whole time?!" Jason yells at Rose. "I'm done with this shit," he says, grabbing his bag, starting to leave the home the two raided.
Rose quickly grabbed onto his arm to prevent him from leaving.
"Look, none of this was supposed to happen. It just did," she tries to tell him, but he ignores her, tearing his arm away from her grip.
"Get the fuck off me." He cries, and as if by reflex, Rose strikes a punch at him, blood quickly falling down his now broken nose.
"C'mon! Fight me! You know you want to!" She says in desperation.
Jason sends a cold stare. "Are we done?" She doesn't reply, tears building up in her eye. "We're done," he says, walking towards the door as Rose cries.
"Where are you going? Look the Titans needs us!" She calls out to him as he reaches the door.
"Fuck them, Rose. Fuck all of you," he replies, finally walking out the door with only one thing on his mind.
You.
He hailed the first cab he could find, telling the driver to head back to Gotham City.
All he could think about was how stupid he was to you. You were right, and he just left you like you were nothing. You saved him, and he treated you like dirt. You said he was your friend, and he abandoned you.
He rushed out the taxi after paying the driver, running up to the small apartment you were living at. You spent most of your time in Titan's Tower, but went back to your place when you wanted to be fully alone.
Your apartment was only big enough for one person, granted there were ants here and there, and a little mould growing in some places, but you saw it as your own place.
Jason knocked on your door three times, followed by a call of your name. He knocked again, a little louder, and a little more desperate. What if you weren't home? He couldn't go back to Titans Tower, he wasn't ready to see everyone else.
When no one answered, his shoulders slumped, and was about to walk away.
But your door opened, and you appeared on the other side, rubbing your red eyes with a fluffy blanket draped over your shoulders and your hair running wild as it was tangled and bunched all over the place.
"Jesus, who died," you say groggily, having not registered who knocked on your door.
Jason's eyes brightened as he returned to the front of your door.
"Y/n.." He softly called out. You stopped rubbing your eyes as you looked up at him, eyes widening as you couldn't believe Jason was standing right in front of you.
"Jason.." You replied, not knowing what to say. "How have you- uhm.. D'you wanna come in?" You awkwardly offered, Jason nodding as you stepped aside for him to walk in.
You directed him towards the couch. "Uh.. do you want something to drink or..."
"No." Jason quickly replies. "I- I just needa talk to you."
You nod, walking over to sit beside him on the couch.
"So.."
"I'm sorry," he says, looking at you with those glassy eyes. "You were right. Rose was spying on me, working with Deathstroke, you were right. I should've listened to you, I should've stayed. Just- just say I told you so and-"
You interrupted Jason by lunging towards him, blanket falling off as you wrapped your arms around him. "I'm so glad you're back," you said, your voice muffled.
Jason sits there in shock, slowly wrapping his arms around your middle. "You- You're not mad?"
You pull away, "Why would I be mad?" You ask, hands boldly reaching up to hold his face.
"Why wouldn't you be! I treated you like shit! I didn't listen to you, then I just left! How could not hate me?" He says in an outburst.
All you do is sigh and look away.
"What? What is it?" Jason asks.
"It's because I love you, Jay," you finally confess. Jason's eyes widened and was left speechless. All he could do was lean closer as his gaze shift down to your lips.
You lightly chuckle as you olace a hand against his chest to stop him.
"Stop. You're only doing that because of guilt," You say.
But Jason shakes his head. "No. No, I don't believe I am," he replies. "You've no idea how much I wanted this. Ever since you joined the team, I promise you."
You sighed. "Listen, you just parted ways with Rose, I don't actually think you-"
"A chance," he interrupts. "Give me a chance to show you how much I care for you. How much I feel the same for you. Take you out on dates, give you flowers, whatever. Just a chance, and if you still don't believe it, fine, I leave you be. But a chance is all I beg for."
You look down at your fiddling fingers, eyebrows furrowed, wondering whether or not he's telling the truth.
"One chance," you say. "One chance and one chance only. If you screw this up, then that's that."
Yeah I didn't really know how to finish it off, like I had the idea for the start but didn't know how to make the rest of the story so its pretty shit, but at the same time, its 2am so whatevah
Jason smiles, bringing you in for a tight embrace. "You won't regret it, I promise you, mama."
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showyouhowiswing · 5 months ago
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Some chyan headcanons:
most people think they became friends during that summer at Lava Springs, after the baseball game and Ryan became more inmeshed with the general student body
it's true enough, kind of.
they weren't friends during junior year, before all that shit went down with Troy and Gabi and the school musical, but they were something
they hooked up a few times during Darbus's detentions, backstage where no one would ever find them and once in the rafters while they were supposed to be painting the top bit of a set
it didnt mean anything. they didnt talk about it. it just sort of happened numerous times. they were both totally chill about it and Chad definitely didnt spend many nights by himself, thinking about what it would be like to not be so lonely. Ryan didnt either.
the first actual night they spent together was after the infamous baseball game, and at some point lying in the dark, tangled up in each other, Chad admitted he didn't know why they hadnt done this before.
"No beds backstage, and we were on a timecrunch. Besides, you wouldn't have said yes if I invited you over."
once they really became friends, Chad spent most of his friday nights at Ryan's, even after senior year started.
it was only a little bit about sex.
Chad eventually confessed that Ryan was his queer awakening. Ryan refused to believe him because he knew he wasn't the first guy Chad had fooled around with.
it's true though.
sophomore year Ryan became the mascot, and the first time Chad saw him take the head off Ryan was drenched in sweat and his hair was sticking to his forehead. Chad went home that night and dreamt about it.
he did hookup with a guy on the track team, convinced that his fixation on Ryan was a fluke.
it wasn't a fluke.
Ryan knew about track team guy not because Chad told him, but because he also used to hook up with the guy and he saw some rather incriminating texts on his phone.
junior year Chad kissed Ryan first, but only because Ryan egged him on.
"If you dont want to chat, Danforth, maybe you should find something else for us to do."
yes it was because of the texts, no he didnt think Chad would actually do it. he was pleasantly surprised though.
after the game it was also Chad who initiated, although it went a little differently.
"I'll do the show on two conditions, Evans. One, you go out for baseball this year. I don't care what your sister or anyone else has to say about it."
"And the second?"
"Take your pants off."
over the course of senior year, everybody kind of figured there was something going on with them, but it wasn't confirmed until the morning after prom. they all shared a handful of hotel rooms, except Sharpay who fucked off to god knows where, and Ryan who specifically got his own room to get away from the eventual chaos.
and Chad, who was of course the exception to the rule.
Zeke woke them up the next morning for brunch, and Ryan (in an attempt to be helpful) tried to cover and say he slept on the floor, obviously there was nothing indecent going on.
Chad, from under the duvet, announced that Ryan was a terrible liar because not only did they definitely have sex last night, it had been going on awhile, and also Chad was very bisexual and anyway they'd be down for brunch in half an hour.
he made a similar speech at brunch minus the duvet and specifics regarding the sex.
everyone was chill, though money did exchange hands. Kelsi was miffed they didnt wait until after graduation so she could win the pool.
they're happy together.
so incredibly happy.
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AITA for Waging Civil War on an Ex Friend of Mine After they Undermined my Entire Political Movement/Uprising? [submitted by Gladiator01]
For context: I, (2,000,000 M), and many others, had been stuck since birth in a job we couldn’t quit in grueling unsafe and dangerous conditions; and to add to that the employers didn’t care in the slightest for their workers and saw them more as tools that were expendable, and this kind of thinking was deeply rooted in everyone, thanks to the current government.
Once I escaped the situation, I started speaking up and gaining like minded followers, and started an uprising for equal rights for the working class (I’ll spare you the details or what we did to get there because the rumors about bombing innocence were NOT true) with the intention of completely dismantling our current system.
This (ex) online friend of mine is who is a librarian of all things and had been living a ‘low-middle’ caste life when I met him, and he actually went out of his way to come meet me in person. Being able to talk in person made us grow closer, he’d been moved by my speeches and seemingly was fully in support of the end goal we sought to achieve.
Advisors of mine didn’t trust him but we’d already been to talking and at that point he seemed really genuine, I (unfortunately) didn’t think twice about including him in a future meeting with our ruling powers at the time, which I knew was bound to determine whether or not this whole campaign would become full blown war. At that rate we mutually considered each other as more brothers than as friends, I mean I really had trust in this guy.
So, the day finally arrives, I have an audience with the big assholes in charge, and I’m going about letting them have it. Obviously, I threaten violence if they don’t cooperate and make it known that we will continue our uprising whether they like it or not.
In my opinion it’s going well and then this (ex)friend of mine has the chance to speak. About three sentences in, and it’s clear all of a sudden that he disproves of my methods. Hello? Where is all this coming from, and here of all places to suddenly reveal this to me? I figured I could put the betrayal and embarrassment aside and at least hear him out, maybe he was wording it badly or just had a rough start. I wanted so badly to give him the benefit of the doubt.
But it gets so much worse, he agrees that the change I wanted to bring about needs to happen but by peaceful compromise. While he proposes this not only does he the name of my entire faction through the mud, but out of the blue proclaims that those on the side of his ideals are to be called something else and would be separate from my movement. [I can’t share the name he chose to use for his political faction for the sake of user privacy] I could hardly believe what I was hearing, but I guess the shock of it kept me quiet and all I could do was listen at that rate.
I shit you not this fucker took the opportunity to build his own following in a day, one built off the principals of my followers, but one that would be slow and convenient for our whole
 country, let’s say, to adjust to and one that left the current dictators in power. One that would leave those like me and my following to continue to die by the thousands day by every day they took their sweet time. He was a smart guy, I don’t think he was truly naive enough to believe this would somehow save more lives, he knew what he was doing. He made a compromise that worked in the favor of those in power, put the idea of violence or forceful change down and made his side seem morally higher, and wouldn’t you know it the people (not my people, obviously) ate that shit up.
As if all this wasn’t enough, he was immediately— and I mean right then and there— appointed one of the highest stances that existed by our government (under themselves anyways). The situation would have been almost comical had it not fucked over everything I’d been working for for the last few thousand years.
And this little shit looks at me like he’s expecting approval or for me to be proud. I told everyone right then and there I wasn’t backing down, all the threats I made still stood, and that they were fools for so quickly putting a fucking librarian of all things in such a position. I’d lived through the very thing we sought to take down, I had years and years of military and combat training, I was willing to make the tougher choices he was clearly avoiding, but no. These people wanted him. I wanted nothing to do with him from there on out, but he and his supporters saw me as an unreasonable aggressor. Of course they would after all that shit he just shoveled down their throats, I cannot express in words how embarrassing a defeat this was and the sudden horribly ill feeling that settled in. It felt like every organ in my body had dropped to the floor and the shock and anger of it made my head ring.
From then on out there’s been a Civil War between those who truly stuck with me and those who were on his side. We’re still viewed as the evil side of things now thousands of years later. AITA?
Edit: no I did not make this up, no it’s not a promotional scheme for a movie plot, and no you cannot use it for OC lore. Stop asking irrelevant questions.
☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰
Credit for the idea goes to @final-milf-ratchet .
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harrywavycurly · 1 year ago
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Trouble Next Door Part 15 part 2: Porch Convo
Find Part 15: Here
Masterlist: Here
TW: Cursing, Steve is drunk, mentions of cheating and divorce and a tiny small bit of violence
Tag List: @sinczir @rach5ive @bruher @kellyxo1 @tiannamortis @makingmunson94 @angelina16torres-blog @tlclick73 @gretavankleep37 @melaninjhs @amira0303 @robyn-118 @idkjoequinn @jaydaaasworld @squidscottjeans @rockstarmunsons @alanamarie @dandelionnfluff @aol19 @eddiesguitarskills @vampdaisy @br66klynbaby @raven-rust @daisyridleyyyy @i-love-ptv @josephquinnsfreckles @mrsjellymunson @hideoutside @eddiemunson-fanfic @paprikaquinn @burns-in-the-sun @cherrycolas-things @exploding-bonbon @krazyk99
A/N: I didn’t wanna have to make y’all wait too long for this so I hope you enjoy and that it’s everything you wanted it to be😂✹
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“Yo Steve you’ve gotta go man
.you don’t live here anymore.” “Where did
did you come from?” “Uh
my house?” “Oh
figured you’d be moved in here by now
why aren’t you?” “What? Why would
you know what it’s pointless
you gotta go okay? She doesn’t want you here.” “I miss her.” “Cool
but miss her from somewhere else before I call Hopper.” “She loves you.” “No shit we are bestfriends
we love each other
” “no she’s in love with you
it’s fucking obvious
so so obvious and I
I married her anyway and now
now everyone hates me and Dustin won’t even talk to me
” “you have to lay off the whiskey dude
it’s not your friend
clearly makes you delusional.” “I’m not fucking delusional you asshole! My wife is in love with you and the only way I could
test if she cared about me was to
do this.” “What
did you just say? You cheated on her to see if she actually cares about you?” “She doesn’t
she just kicked me out
Chrissy kissed me you know? During game night
she kissed me because she knew you wouldn’t care.” “Stop talking Steve.” “Said that you only care about one person and we both know who that is
.so Chrissy just kissed me.” “Steve
for the love of god shut the fuck up and get off her porch.” “I don’t want a divorce
I don’t want Chrissy
I don’t love her
I love my wife.” “You don’t get to cheat on your wife just to see if she loves you or not then say you don’t want a divorce
.you fucking sleaze-ball
now get up.” “Maybe I can make her love me the way she loves you
maybe she’ll come around.” “Not gonna happen
do you not see where you’re at? You’re outside her house begging for her to love you
but why would she ever let you into her house or her heart again
when she was actually madly in love with you what did you do? You fucked my wife
just to see if your actual wife would care? You’re a sick motherfucker Steve and you need to leave.” “Madly in love with me? Are you fucking joking?” “Does it look like I’m joking?” “She’s never been madly in love with me Eddie
she’s just been too stupid-” “don’t you ever call her stupid you fucking asshole.” “Jesus Christ
I think
.I think you broke my nose.” “I didn’t
we’d both know if I did
.now fucking leave before I do actually decide to break something of yours
” “I just want her to love me
like she loves you.” “Well
can’t say she’s gonna love me when I go in there and tell her I punched you in the face
I just need you to know something Harrington.” “What?” “She doesn’t love me the way she loved you
she didn’t marry me
she married you
she didn’t pick me
she picked you
not because she needed a place holder but because she fucking loved you.” “What?
what? No
no that’s not-” “it is true
she loved you man
but you fucked it all up
” “I
I gotta
I gotta go.” “Bout fucking time
oh and tell Chrissy all this shit about not loving her will ya? She is convinced you’re in love with her and want your happily ever after with her
but do it..gently please
” “Uh yeah
okay
yeah I’ll
do it gently
tell her I love her?
.please?” “No
now goodnight Steve
go take a cold shower and have a cup of black coffee and you’ll be fine
send me the bill for the dry cleaning to get the blood out of your shirt
”
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bunnysdollette · 10 days ago
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˖ . ʁ𝜗𝜚. ʁ₊ you start living your best life when you stop taking everyone else’s shit. let’s just be real 💭🎀
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â€čđŸčïč’HOW TO LET GO OF OTHER PEOPLE’S THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU
Hey everyone, it’s me bunnysdollette and this is my secret hideout where I ramble about the events of my life while simultaneously trying to share my advice with you on how to get your shit together aswell. This is completely raw, super-introverted, awkward, anti-social thought daughter shit. This is the only corner of the Internet I feel safe being 100% myself and I’m glad to be sharing that side of me with you today.
Anyway, today’s subject is going to be on learning not to take anyone else’s shit and learn to start putting yourself first. The way you carry and regard yourself ultimately determines how others will view and treat you in life.
As always, my inbox is open and I’m still on the hunt for moots. Getting back into blogging has been so fun and I’m really enjoying it so far. I’m looking forward to meeting new people through this blog. So let’s be friends! I don’t bite. Just remember I’m a minor and I don’t tolerate weird shit either.
â€čđŸč HO, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY
If you are constantly comparing yourself to others and living in a world of paranoia and frequent embarrassment just for showing a fragment of your true self, you will in turn cultivate an environment that is harsh and unforgiving because you have written this code into your mind that says that will be the result all the time no matter what.
We are all human and we are all imperfect, but in order to reach our full potential we have to take our suffering and mistakes and in turn use them as helpful tools for acquiring our dream lives. What has happened to you in the past was truly terrible, but without that you wouldn’t be the person you are today. It sounds cliche, but it’s true. If we are constantly living in a fantasy world, then there is no opportunity for personal development or growth.
Everything is okay now and things will only get better from here. You have to realize that now you are taking the time to invest time in yourself, soon you will experience much happier moments and achieve bigger and better things. Never doubt yourself. ☆
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â€čđŸč HO, IT IS WHAT IT IS
You should never worry about what others think. I know it sounds much simpler in theory, but it’s the golden rule of anything that you have to learn to be a more successful and level-headed person. If you are happy and your needs are fulfilled, you shouldn’t give a fuck about what anyone else has to say because they are just looking from the outside in. They are a stranger to you. Their opinion doesn’t hold any value, and your life will go on despite their comments.
Here is how you should look at things. The reality of it is that most of the things you think others think about you are just in your head. I went at my school for years thinking everyone secretly hated me, but that wasn’t the case. I was making it up.
Most people didn’t really have a reason to dislike me, I’m generally liked and regarded as a kind and pleasant person and I know I deserve that. but I would take small interactions and blow it up and overthink. When I started to say negative things to myself, I would notice them coming true. When I would come the next day and instead put more effort into my studies and ignore what others may think of me, I feel much lighter and things generally work out.
Even then, I know people dislike me for whatever reason but it doesn’t bother me anymore because I know who I am and I’m too focused on my own life to cry over it. I can’t change how they feel about me. I can only change what’s in my control. Everything else is just what it is.
thanks for reading
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rat-n-atty · 3 months ago
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MEET MY SMG4 OC CLOVE!
(fucking finally)
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(Also a bit of a redesign since I kinda changed my style a bit lmao)
Meet Clove! (Enid) a 22-year-old "mad" scientist who has made the poor decision to be Smg3's assistant but who exactly is she? What's her lore? What are her goals? Why is she an Ex-villain? and all the other amazing questions you might have (or don't idk) will all be answered here!...hopefully...
"Enid Gadd" (Backstory)
Enid comes from a long line of talented and successful scientists (like her grandpa, E. Gadd more on that in a bit) but she was always seen as a black sheep of the family in short.
Ever since Enid could even talk, she has always aspired to be a great scientist just like her family but it seemed like everything she did, it meant nothing so she became E. Gadd's student when she was young (considering she was practically raised by the guy damn)
It seemed like everything Enid did though was still not enough for her parents so she said "fuck it" and decided to become someone else's assistant in hopes that she could be a better scientist than all of them and that is when Smg3 comes in...
"Clove" (assistant days)
Now, Bowser was a terrible assistant so Smg3 decided to get a new one instead so one day while Clove was just walking around the Mushroom Kingdom city; she saw a purple Mario recolor next to a stand on the side of the street with a sign that said LOOKING FOR AN EVIL ASSISTANT (WILL NOT GIVE VACATION DAYS) (why would look for one in broad daylight you dumb bitc-)
So she took her shot, lied to 3 about being "inherently evil" but she also added that she was pretty good at making bombs (which was also a half-truth) so she became Smg3's assistant from that day on.
She didn't really know what to expect at first and she thought that Smg3's main goal of being a villain at the time was kinda dumb but it was better than home so she stayed and she stayed for a long time.
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She eventually became evil and she got better at her inventions and her scientific studies all for the goal of ruling the world with Smg3 and telling her entire family (not including E. Gadd) to suck it...which now brings us to the YouTube Arc...
YouTube Arc (this is where shit goes down)
Smg3 and Clove had just started on their goals of making Snitch Productions but after Smg4 destroyed it all for no damn reason (like wtf man?) they wanted revenge and they wanted it bad (Smg3 more so than Clove)
So they came up with the anti-cast and got to work but after that failed Clove said "fuck it" and started her own projects again but she found out about the YouTube remote while she was doing her research ("The World's Cursed and definitely Powerful Objects that would destroy the world if laid on the wrong hands" (great title I know) ) So they all came up with the plan to steal it.
Things had started to take a toll after they had successfully stolen the Remote per sae because now Smg3 was drunk with power to the point where it was kinda concerning Clove a bit and this is the part where Clove found out Smg3's true intentions of using the YouTube remote; It was so much more than taking over Smg4's channel, it was deleting Smg4's and his crew's entire existence. Clove knew it was too much, even for 3 but she kept quiet about her conflicting feelings (but put a pin in this later )
A big-time skip later where Clove had actually caught Mario trying to steal Smg3's phone (to hopefully get everyone out of the graveyard, you probably watched the Arc lmao) but she betrayed Smg3 by giving it to Mario anyway and freeing the entire cast out of the internet graveyard in order to stop Smg3; Everyone was confused why but they didn't ask.
WOTFI 2020 (redemption arc begins)
The final battle was here and after Clove was revealed to be a traitor and helping the Smg4 crew, it's no wonder that Smg3 lost but he was never expecting his assistant, no...someone closest to him like a friend to betray him like that.
Since Clove was the only one who really knew how to work the remote (and she was the one who had it in her hands at the time) she was the one who sent Smg3 to the Internet Graveyard for the greater good of everybody else but now that 3 was gone...she felt like she had no meaning...no purpose anymore...
After she had gotten forgiveness from Susan, Smg4 offered Clove to stay with the rest of them at the castle but she declined and said she would just lock herself up in her lab instead.
Clove's lore goes on for ages...so I'll have to make a part 2
BI GUYS!
(update: there is a part 2)
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago
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Am i (FTM 18) the asshole for accidentally telling out friends about how my bf is into CBT? (that's cock and ball torture btw)
So the other day me and my bf's friends were all talking in the group chat we had. My bf is quite a bit older than me so we don't really have the same friends. I'm very open with my friends about my life, even my sex life yeah, though it's all joking. My bf, who I'll call Steve, is decidedly not. He doesn't mind the jokes about it though and we make them with each other and the group chat all the time. ANYWAYS onto the story, we were all talking in the gc and one of my friends made some joke about me needing a dick appointment and i made a joke back about how i needed to be eaten out, kissed and hugged along with the 'dick appointment' and my friend asks if its in that order and i said yes. I jokingly told Steve that we have a new plan for the weekend and he said yes. a second later he says something about how he was gonna say something else but now wasn't going to. Me and my other friend, who I'll call Toby, pestered him about it for a bit until he dmed me telling me it had to be in that order cause he liked eating his cum out of me. 
I screenshotted it and showed it to Toby and we laughed about it for a bit. This isn't the first time I've screenshotted something and sent it to my friend, and Steve knows that. 
Toby jokingly called my boyfriend a freak (which I often do myself, as it’s sort of an inside joke because of the things he’s into.) He then added that he bets Steve would like getting kicked in the balls too, which we both found funny and that prompted me to ask my boyfriend if he’s into it. He immediately knew that I’m asking him to just send it to Toby, but I reassured him that it would stay between us. After a bit of going back and forth between me asking him if he’d be into it and him asking why that’s important, I eventually lied and admitted that I’d like to kick him in the balls just to get an answer out of him. (Btw Toby said that I should just say that *I* want to do it, so that Steve would actually admit if he’s into it or not) Steve was a bit surprised but then he said he’s into CBT. I had no idea how to respond to that, to which Steve got even more suspicious that I’m trying to play a joke on him. I said that’s not true and that I love him and from there on our conversation went a different way. Meanwhile, me and Toby were laughing about it through our DMs, but it was nothing with mean intent. Toby and I joke like that all the time!
Later on, the next day, Steve and I were talking again and he ended up saying something about how if he ever does this one thing, he wanted me to cut his dick off as a joke. The entire message was longer, so I screenshotted it and sent it to the group chat, but I scribbled out the entire message except for when it said “I want you to cut my dick off.” as a joke. Toby and I laughed about it in the groupchat, Steve called me a dick and i jokingly said something like ‘nuh uh, you're into CBT” cause i thought it was obvious everyone else would take it as a joke and toby ended up saying something about how “after yesterday’s conversation, i'm not surprised.” While this conversation was going on, Steve was DMing me telling me to go suck a dick and I said I would go suck one that wasn't his and he told me to have fun. This is also normal for us, to say i was gonna go get fucked by someone else cause then he’d usually fuck the shit out of me and then afterwards we reassure each other that we love eachother and only each other. It's  a sex thing not a toxic thing or something. He wasn't responding back like he normally would and in the moment i thought it was just him pretending to be mad cause he’ll do that sometimes cause i find it hot, but then my friend toby said he would be worried if *his* partner started talking the way Steve was to me, but to him so i got worried and texted him asking if he was alright.
Steve told me that he’s not alright and what I did wasn’t funny. I really thought we were messing around! This wasn’t the first time either of us joked about our kinks with our friends and I thought he was playing along with it the entire time. He told me that he doesn’t find it funny that I asked him such a personal question and then I went to tell Toby and then the rest of the group chat, especially after he thought I was messing with him and I assured him I wasn’t. He told me he wasn’t mad, just hurt, and I suddenly felt really bad for joking about something like that. I explained to him that I wasn’t trying to expose him and I was just joking around. He told me it’s fine, but I still felt very guilty about it, so much so that I began profusely apologizing and even crying at some point because I knew I fucked up real bad. I didn’t feel like I deserved his forgiveness, but he tried reassuring me that I shouldn’t feel so upset about it and that things like that happened all the time. I’m not sure if I could ever forgive myself for making him upset with a joke, but I know that he’s a very forgiving person and he won’t hold it against me even if he was upset.
btw the whole dick appointment joke was cause toby was talking about how he thought i had audhd and i said i needed a therapist then our friends jack said the whole dick appointment thing
ALSO can you tag this with ‌ /nf just so i can find it later ^^
What are these acronyms?
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beemers-hell · 8 months ago
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i desperately wanna apologize to you but you would call bullshit and paint me like something evil bitch when in reality, i want the cycle of abuse to end and to ease my mind. i just wanna redeem myself before ending it all.
- you already know who
to everyone else sorry about this, but I've had enough, anyway i was just gonna delete this, just like i deleted the TWO suicide notes you sent me in my ask box a lil bit ago, but a number of my friends DM'd me about what you've been posting on your blog so I can only assume this all came from Nene, also known as @/shugurrsn0w , and for anyone who doesnt know Nene is, well this callout thread will get you acclimated with her REAL quick lmfao:
You are not fucking apologetic at all if you are using s0uless' full REAL name on your blog, you stupid bitch. That kind of information can put them at risk of REAL GENUINE HARM. S0uless made the mistake of using their name as their art handle when they were younger but they have been doing a pretty extensive wipe of that username being online, I know this isn't exactly doxxing because of that but USING IT WHEN THEY'RE CLEARLY NOT WANTING IT TO BE PUBLIC INFORMATION IS SOME PRETTY SCUMMY SHIT, AND CAN BE USED FOR ACTUAL REAL HARM BEING DONE TO HIM YOU JACKASS
Don't come in my ask box hiding behind anonymous acting like you actually feel bad for the shit you did when you are STILL making posts calling me and my husband fucking freaks when you know DAMN WELL we're not. Don't you dare try and act all remorseful and pitiful and like you're some misunderstood fallen angel when you've been doing but helping making our lives a fucking nightmare. You don't get to act like you've done nothing wrong when you have CONSISENTLY VICTIM BLAMED THEM, CLAIMED THEIR TRAUMA WAS FAKE, BEEN RACIST TO ME, MOCKED MY ABUELAS RECENT DEATH, THREATENED HARM ON BOTH OF US, HARASSED AND STALKED US, AND SPREAD ALL THIS INSANE SHIT ABOUT US FOR NO GODDAMN REASON. You don't get to just act like you made some petty mistakes that you can walk off, you have been non stop harassing, stalking, and falsely accusing me and s0uless of being scum of the fucking earth when there is no goddamn evidence that we are and you KNOW there isn't, because we fucking ARENT. Unlike your freak ass, we KNOW what the fuck is right and what is wrong. But that kind of shit gets around to people and makes people start thinking we ARE those freaks that we aren't.
And you should be well aware of how fucking awful that makes a mother fucker feel, you know? Since you wanna keep whining about how "people keep being mean/demonizing you for no reason." What, you don't think people are gonna DM me asking me what the fuck you're talking about in those posts you make? Newsflash dipshit, most people wanna know both party's stories regarding drama that surrounds someone they know. Don't you try to twist this and cry about how I'm some creepy weirdo that's stalking you, you should've thought harder about following someone and then IMMEDIATELY sending them an anonymous ask about me and s0uless, cause that DEFINETLY isn't fucking fishy at all, dumbass. That's how I was alerted to you and your new bullshit. Don't try and act like I'm a freak that keeps tabs on you, I thought you'd drop off the face of the earth after that one callout thread got made on you. You wanna talk about evidence of wrongdoing? Nothing really shows your true colors more than publicly being racist, harassing minors, and consistently AND RECENTLY consuming bestiality porn of minors. Try bouncing back from saying that YOU want to make noncon porn of your favs, or being a whole ass adult saying you wanna fuck a 16 year old character that you KNOW is 16. THATS some REAL freak shit that YOU admitted to your damn self, you don't get to act like me or s0uless are the real freaks when there is REAL AND RECENT EVIDENCE of you doing that shit, you gross fuck.
Leave us the fuck alone, I do not care about your pathetic ass and s0uless sure as shit doesn't either. This has been going on for over a FUCKING YEAR NOW and i dont give a single SHIT about playing nice and being quiet about it anymore. Don't fucking come whining to me and acting like you're remorseful again when you're PULLING THIS SHIT AGAIN. Leave me the fuck alone and I'll leave you the fuck alone. Expect a restraining order dumbass, it was real easy to get your info when you've got it so readily available online! If youre gonna play stupid games, expect to win stupid prizes. Get the fuck off my and my husband's dick and focus on fixing yourself you ghoul. Do some fucking introspection so you can figure out why the fuck people don't like you. And don't come to me threatening suicide again, I don't give a single SHIT about you and I'm sure as FUCK not going to give you any sympathy when you've shown no fucking growth or genuine remorse for all of this. I've thought about killing myself a lot lately too, you're not fucking special.
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zeeohoh · 2 months ago
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OBX RAFE SMUT | MINORS DNI !
Tags : arguing, toxic!rafe, reader has female anatomy, oral, oral smut, slight fluff at the end(?).
A/N : NOT PROOF READ.
//
Rafe had been avoiding you for weeks now, his work, his dad, his friends, he has a million excuses to not see you, and you've finally had enough.
You were sat on your bed, watching Notting Hill, you had seen this movie a million times but hey, it's your favourite, you can never have enough.
It's a 21:00 on a Saturday, you were *supposed* to see Rafe, or at least, you had hoped you would, he's been blowing you off for weeks now, you guys had been going out for a few weeks but not everyone knew, and it would've been hard for anyone to believe it either because of how he treated you when you were around people you knew, it was like the better and comfortable you felt with him, the terrible he made you feel in public, in simple terms, he treated you like shit, Absolute. Pure. Shit. As if you're some fuck toy or something to help distract him and you only meant something to him when his body was on yours. You didn't entirely feel this way, he seemed to genuinely have feelings for you but his actions said otherwise, so you stopped, or you would've just been delusional. Tired of wanting him to treat you like an actual human being and tired of wrecking your brain over being torn because you felt he had feelings for you but he acted like you mean nothing, and treating you like a nobody, you grab your phone and block him, his number, his instagram, anywhere you have him on your phone, you block him, throw your phone on your pillow and continue playing the movie.
02:19 *ring* *ring*
Your eyes flutter open as you realize you fell asleep watching the movie, you're broken out of yours thoughts as you realize what woke you up in the first place, your front door bell ringing.
Who the fuck is at my door at 2 in the damn morning?
You get off your bed, quickly grab your robe and a baseball bat you kept by the shoe rack and peek through the keyhole, it was hard to make out who it was because of the rain, but you recognised the familiar silhouette of a certain Cameron. You sigh and open the door.
"What the fuck Rafe? Look at the time"
"I couldn't reach you anywhere, you wouldn't answer my calls, my texts wouldn't send, what else was I supposed to fucking do? You cut me off everywhere Y/N"
"Just..get inside, you're gonna catch a cold"
"I don't care Y/N"
You take a step aside to let him in , you barely turn around before he grabs your wrists in his hands and pins you to the wall,
"RAFE"
He's so close that you can feel him breathing on you
"Why'd you do it Y/N? Do you really want me out of your life? Is that what you want?"
"It's not like I mean shit to you anyways, Rafe"
"That's not true"
"Like fuck it is, you treat me like absolute shit, you purposely go out of your way to make me feel terrible, you want my attention but you'd rather ask for it by belittling me infront of everyone, by talking down to me or treating me like I'm just someone you use to distract yourself from whatever the fuck you need to be distracted from, sometimes the shit you say isn't even funny, it's straight up childish and immature and rude, I shouldn't even have let you in after the shit you've said and the shit you've done, I deserve better than how you treat me. "
You could barely finish your sentences without feeling the need to choke up.
"Y/N I-"
"You used to make me feel so good, so safe but now I'm scared to even talk to you because I know nothing nice is gonna come up and I'm gonna get hurt again, I know we're supposed to be just casual but I just didn't think you'll treat me like I'm a nobody to you"
Rafe's gaze softened, and his hands went from your wrists to your shoulders.
"I'm sorry, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness because of the things I've said and how I've treated you, but I can't lose you, I don't want to do this without you Y/N, I can't justify why I've said what I've said, what can I do to make it up to you? I'll do anything, I never realized how much it could've affected you, I was being a dick, I'm so, so sorry"
"I know I shouldn't even be talking to you rn, John B would kill me"
Rafe took your hands in his and placed a kiss on the back of both hands. He peppered kisses all over your hands, working his way up to your wrists, your arms, your shoulders, and eventually, your neck, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear and nibbled on the sensitive skin right next to your jaw, which he knew makes you go crazy.
You shuddered under his touch and, out of habit, leaned into him, your head resting on his chest, kissing it, you turned up to look at him, your faces barely inches apart, and close the distance. You plant a kiss on his lips, it was soft, gentle, loving. His hands wander from your neck to your back, you guide his hands to your waist, he gives you a gentle nudge and following his cue, you lift yourself and he picks you up, wrapping your legs around him, his focus goes to your neck and you shudder, he takes that opportunity and slips his tongue in, his movements grow more eager as he softly grinds himself against you, grabbing everywhere you'd let him, at this point, you're both breathing each other, he's kissing you like he's gonna lose you tomorrow, like it's the last time he'll ever have you, your tongues move in a rhythm and your bodies are connected.
"Let's go inside" you say and he takes you to your room, he gently lays you down on your bed, not breaking the kiss once, not letting go of you even. once.
"May I?" He asks you as he nudges your top
You get up and help him remove the tshirt you slept in, he immediately went back to kissing your neck, your collarbone, and slowly made his way down to your chest. He took one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around, gently sucking on it, you let out a soft sigh as he bit it gently while his other hand gave attention to your other one, toying with it, kneading it then he switched to the other one, doing the same as he did for the previous one.
"Let me make you feel good ma"
He made his way further down, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses.
"Tell me if you want me to stop ,okay?"
You just hummed in agreement
"No, I want to hear you say it, tell me if I'm going too far, and I'll stop."
"I don't want you to stop"
He tugged at the waistband of your shorts, and you lifted yourself up, helping him take them off.
"Turn the lights off,Rafe, I don't want you to look at it"
"You're beautiful, every part of you Y/N" he says as he gets up and turns the lights off, finding his way back to you, he plants gentle kisses on your inner thighs, softly massaging them. He slowly made his way to your core, planting a gentle kiss over your clothed core.
You squirmed in the bed, edging your body closer to his mouth, growing more impatient by the second.
"Easy now, I'm getting there" he said as he took your underwear off, folding it up and keeping it next to your bed, he licked a long stripe eliciting a soft moan from you, he latched himself onto your clit, lightly sucking on it, focusing on how you react to it, once he's satisfied, he pushes his tongue inside you, he speeds up exponentially, he's going down on you like a man starved, like you're the last meal he'll ever have, he doesn't slow down, he doesn't stop, he barely comes up for air, he only has one thing on his mind, making you come. Your hands find their way to his hair, grabbing them and tugging at them.He violently thrusts his tongue in and out of you, practically abusing your clit while you're a moaning mess, he hooks your legs over his arms to grip you and hold you down as you squirm and push yourself onto his face, his nose is lightly bumping against your clit, your moans turn him on and he started grinding against the bed, he suddenly inserts a finger in you which make you arch your back, pumping in and out of you, hitting your g spot as his thumb makes it way to your clit and rubs circles on it, while his other hand grabs your breast and plays with it, the sudden increase in stimulation drive you closer to your edge, your eyes are shut, you can't say anything, you can't think of anything other than how good his mouth feels, how good he's making you feel, you feel the burning sensation, signalling you're not that far
"Rafe I'm gonna-"
He doesn't even let you finish that sentence before he speeds up, you didn't think it was possible for him to go faster, but he was, the room is silent except for the moaning mess he's made of you and the unholy sounds he's making as he eats you out, he can feel how close you are, he hums in satisfaction.
"It's okay, come for me" You can feel the smirk he has on his face as he says it
Right as he finishes his sentence, you came. hard, harder than you've probably ever come. You're a panting mess, he slows down his movements but he doesn't stop, helping you ride out your high, once he's sure, he gets up and grabs a towel, cleaning you up, he kisses your thighs and helps you up on the bed, and lays down next to you. He holds you close and whispers in your ear
"I'm so sorry for ever making you feel like you mean less than to me than you actually do, I won't do it again"
"It's easier said than done, Cameron, don't make me regret giving you another chance"
you turn to face him and bury your face in his chest, slowly drifting away into a peaceful sleep as he plants a kiss on your forehead and holds you close. He'll spend as long as it is needed to make up for how he treated you, taking care of you and cherishing you for as long as you'd have him.
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