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sideblogformindtrash · 3 years ago

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SUMMER OF WHUMP - DAY 4 - ABANDONED

Mind the huge cw. Is mostly just discussing it, but still.

CW: Insinuated no-con; past-abuse; relieving past trauma; abandonment; very low self esteem; humiliation; accidental triggering; bait dog; whipping; starvation; shoved in luggage bag; bitten by mice; gross food; claustrophobia; burns; no-con drugging; no-con touching; mentioned amputation; pet whump; multiple whumpers; human trafficking; muzzle; starvation; neglect; manhandling; cruel/intimate/neglectful whumpers;

“H-hello and welcome to BB’s and Pastel’s show!” ...Pastel turned the octopus plush around as BB turned the camera on. It went from a pink, smiley octopus, to it’s frowning gray insides. Pastel pulled the blankets over his head, leaving only his eyes out “...I’ll be your host, BB, and this is my assistant, Mr.Tonsils!”

BB lifts Mr.Tonsils in front of the camera, waiving his little furry paws so he can say hello to their audience. They pick up the camera, and take it to the bed with Pastel, capturing his pretty pink-ish eyes.

“C-come on Pastel! Say hi!”

Pastel shifts slightly under the blanket.

“I’m… Not a fan of cameras, BB'' his voice is just a whisper, as he twists the blanket. BB thinks he is kneeling “...I’ll just… be your audience today, okay?”

“O-oH! Sorry!” BB stepped away. That was right. Pastel didn’t have good memories about that. BB pointed it away, making sure only they and Mr.Tonsils were on frame. Pastel seemed to relax, even sitting back and lowering his blanket cocoon “...So, due to technical issues, Pastel won’t be joining us tonight. But that 's okay. BB and Mr.Tonsils are here to entertain you!”

BB smiled, making sure to show the missing little teeth. Just like Blue. Just like Blue… before, at least.

“...Well, for tonight’s show me and Mr.Tonsils prepared a top 15 review!” BB wasn’t sure if it really classified as such. But it sure sounded nice “BB will be going over all of our old homes!”

They noticed as Pastel frowned, suddenly changing their expression, way more alert. BB only felt more excited. If Pastel was paying attention, it clearly meant the topic of the video was interesting! Audiences would love it! Even… Even if this was never going to be aired. BB could picture the audiences!

...With a deep breath, they braced themselves and started. They had prepared for this. They could do it.

“...BB’s begun it’s life like us all, in b-between white walls and tiled floors of the training grounds. They were worthless and ugly and dumb, BB’s smile never charmed anyone! It took a long time in the store before BB got home. It was and old lady that said BB was so ugly that it hurt, and dumb as a door, but worked well enough to, to scrub her floor” BB smiled, remembering the cozy attic, where they made their first friends, among piles of boxes that compiled their first owner’s life. Long nights they spent alone there, digging through piles of pictures, trying to piece together what a human life was like. Nonsense, it was, because it just filled BB’s head with a lot of silly thoughts. They lifted Mr.Tonsils for the camera “...BB worked the day and spent the night locked away. In the house’s attic, BB made their first friends. They were Mr.Tonsils crowd, a family of mice, and BB befriended them all, even if they’d bite BB’s feet while it was trying to sleep! BB loved the house, their first owner, and e-every single mouse!”

BB hugged Mr.Tonsil, swinging him around. Pastel was biting his lip, pulling a thread out of the blanket. Good! He was enjoying the story! And BB felt like they were doing good, too. Better than they did at any of their homes.

“...First owner got tired of BB because the stupid Pet let her cat flee! All BB wanted to do was help and clean, but the cat saw their chance and ran away. First owner took BB to a store with a mean looking clerk. They agreed BB was ‘So ugly it fucking hurt’, hoping BB would only stay a few days and them someone would want them” BB rubbed their hand together. That didn’t count as an owner, did it? It was only temporary, in nature. Not that owners lasted very long “BB was at the store for almost a full month, during which they got to eat, sleep and there was no work. BB wanted to make friends with other pets in cages, but they never stayed for long, after all - good pets get good homes!”

...BB was still upset about the store. All of those Pets had looked so nice, so much better than they are… And they never tried to talk to BB. They were all scared they’d be beaten down if they tried, but never were. BB was the only worthless one, that got the punishments… for everyone!

“...BB was bought by creepy looking guy who stuffed BB inside a cage and on a plane and was flown away” BB gestured with their hand, copying the movements of a plane. They had to be on the chair, so it would look nice on video, but otherwise, they would have liked to run around with their arms opened “...Creepy man named BB Bait. They were a teaser for a larger, angrier Pet named Spike, who had on BB a nice punching bag who couldn’t put up a fight. They were nice to BB and even a friend, but scary and cruel when the Master decided they needed to beat them. So BB was Spike’s chew toy, but when they were nice… BB was always filled with joy!”

...They closed their eyes for a second. Those two lives were merged together. One of them had been so short, they could barely remember the second dog.

“...After Spike got tired, BB was sold again, to be another dog's punchbag. And he was the third friend BB had! He refused to hurt BB, would even cuddle them to sleep, and then I was severly punished… For making the Master's dog weak. It was the first time BB tasted a whip, and with dark bruises on its face, BB was sold again”

...They stood in that second store for a week. With no food, and no sleep. They were dirty, and cheap, not worthy of caring for.

“The next Master had BB as furniture for his house. All he did was snap his fingers and that was BB’s call. It would crawl and hold things very still and keep his glass fill, he would rest his feet over BB. If it got boring the cane was always on hand, he could crack in on BB’s back and get it all shades of purple and black. BB didn’t sleep there much at all, it had to stand still behind his bed, all night long holding a water jar upon a tray, in a perfect 90° degree, or there was always hell to pay” BB touched their arm, absentmindedly, a small scar on their elbow where bone had poke through “But BB was ugly furniture, bad and broke away, when Master tried to sit over its back one sad summer day. BB tumbled to the side, knocking Master to the floor. BB got a broken arm and was kicked out of the door!”

“...The next Master that took me in was cruel and harsh, with unusual punishments that left some scars: fingers pulled back until they snapped, weights to BB’s feet, heavy chains and painful strains and the worst - the oven’s flame” BB tilted their head. That Master, too, had scars. They didn’t know how she had gotten them, it was not it’s place to ask. They… They were happy to leave that one “...BB was then lost in a card game, and doesn’t remember much at all. Pills made BB sweet and kind and small. What BB doesn’t get is that they never needed pills - they would never disobey, even if put through awful, lingering pain, they’d love Master all the same.”

...Hazy. Foggy memories. Hands over them, and brushing their cheeks, and so much drool because they were never cohesive enough to form words or move. Blinking white lights, whispered little things that returned to them in dreams.

“...When BB was sober again, they found themselves in a shed, where they were always so alone. The Master was a mountain who only came at night to beat BB down. The days went by slowly, loneliness crushing down, it was dark and cold and hungry, and there were spiders all around“ BB stopped their speech for a moment. This next part was something… that still haunted them. They had done… awful, awful things. They covered Mr.Tonsils' ears. They were afraid of what he would think “...BB, on that shed, made things it would rather forget. Just like the Master forgot BB had to fed! BB might have eaten a few of Tonsil's friends, please don’t let him know, is just BB’s stomach hurt so much and it was the only thing that could stop the growl”

BB releases Mr.Tonsil’s ears, hearing a gasp from Pastel. They turn and smile, but his face is… Pale, horrified. BB shrugs. Pastel always worries faaaar too much. Next one… Made BB feel nostalgic.

“Next… Was the trucker! He liked BB a whole lot, and let BB on the bed and the passenger’s seat! He and BB traveled a lot, seeing magic and beautiful places. BB spoke on the radio, and… And… Had a name! Was called Oreos...” They messed up their rhymes. This… This wasn’t how it was supposed to go “...BB was… Was happy then. His spouse didn’t like me, and… And behind his back, gave me away”

BB’s nails sunk on their arms, as they hug themselves. They… missed those days. It was good, good nostalgia, but what followed made them sick. They had just learned how big and beautiful the world was…

“Next Master… Stuffed BB into a bag, small and stinky with heavy leather smell, with no room to move at all, so much BB’s limbs collapsed when it was finally left out. It travelled around so much, but BB never got to see outside. It was let out during the night to be with Master, and shoved back on the bag once he was satisfied” BB shook their head, as if that would send the memories away. They hated it, hated that bag so, so much. Terrible, suffocating and endlessly boring and aching. And worse… that’s when they lost their name Oreos. They had loved that life. They truly had. “It didn’t matter much, BB was soon thrown away again. Unlovable and worthless, no one could stand BB for much longer either way. BB was sold and sold, always on their way. Next Master was confusing – gave BB many orders and functions, then beat BB down for following the instructions! They likes to trick BB, make plenty of cruel jokes, BB was just a dumb dog, one they only named Mutt!”

...They smiled then. The next one was also nice. His name was Wolfgang, but he was not a wolf. Not that BB could remember.

“And BB’s following owner sold stuff door to door! Saw BB – or Mutt then – and thought they were good charms! BB helped with the sales, being all cute and sweet, and Master was happy at first, but eventually… Sold me!”

And the next Master was…

BB shivered. This one… Hurt a lot. A whole fucking lot. It had been one of the longest lasting homes they had. It had changed the way they saw and thought of themselves forever. It was where they became BB. Bootleg Blue. Fake, useless, worthless.

“…Next was Owner Alvin, who BB loved so, so, so much. He said he would always care for BB… if BB could be someone else. BB had never ever been loved, and the feeling was so gentle and sweet! BB finally understood why no one else had loved it, and what it needed to do so that it would. Blue, a pet who had videos and fame, who had scars BB didn’t have… But I wanted to gain! BB left their teeth rot, BB scarred their own face, Master got angry – Bad BB, bad…” No, no, no. They couldn’t start to lament now. Not when they had gone so far on the video, already, and trough some of the hardest part “Alvin gave BB a room with a plain white dresser, four pairs of clothes and double of socks! BB knew them all by heart and cherished them, BB loved Alvin, loved him, loved him so, so, so much.

But …Alvin wanted BB to be Blue, but wouldn’t tolerate it when BB got the knife and tried to make the change. BB watched the videos on repeat, hundreds, thousands of hours on end, BB could cite them by head!

But BB wasn’t Blue, and can never be. BB is unworthy, and no one could love me. BB was shoved in a car and Owner broke his promise – he decided not to keep me, he, he, h-he… He, he…”

BB closes their eyes, bites back a sob. They are almost done now, and even if they completely messed up the last part…. they can push through! They can still make a nice video… Maybe the audience will like that they can be a little emotive?

“...Shoved BB in a car, drove them to a dead end. Left them alone on the streets to fend for themselves. BB stayed there alone and scared and sad, hoping someone would come… Or that somehow, their pain would end. And then Paul and Reina appeared, finding the ugly pet on the streets. Reina said BB did look like Blue! So she wanted, she wanted BB too!” BB smiled a little. Reina was pretty. She gave me good headpats… But BB didn’t miss them a lot. Paul wasn’t so nice “Paul knew BB was worthless, but Reina still wanted BB. BB was taken to their house and for a short span of time, BB was pampered, happy and loved, an illusion that didn’t last. They figured BB was fun to hurt and start to get their way – not that BB cared, loved them all the same”

They turned around for a second, smiling at Pastel. This was something they’d truly love to talk about, for once.

“But the best part was that BB made a friend when living at their place. Pastel was his name! Pastel held BB and told me it would be okay. BB didn’t have to be Blue – they loved me either way. Pastel took punishment and tried to keep Master’s away. BB cuddled them to sleep and they loved each other! They did!”

BB smiled at this, hugging the plush. One drop of joy, as small as it had been. One that wasn’t stripped away. But the show hadn’t ended.

“…Alas we got back to IF. IF my desired owner, the true maker of Blue, the one who could make BB worthy of love… If he had wanted to. He shoved BB in a cage and tortured Pastel instead, and it was so, so awfully cruel!” BB shook their head, lamenting “But last and not least, Master Fairyman appeared! He took BB and Pastel to live with him! And he has been so nice so far, giving BB colored books! Lovely, nice and nice! And Pastel Is with me too, BB don’t know how long it will last, but BB is so, so to be here with you!”

BB finished, looking back at Pastel and drawing a heart in the air with their fingers. Pastel… is tearing up. He jumps from the bed, not minding the camera anymore, and hugs BB. BB melts, leaning onto the hug. Soft. Kind. Loved.

“BB…” He finally speaks, still not letting them go “Did… Did you rehearse this?”

“Many times in BB’s head!” BB smiled. Many, many, many times, all those years… “Did it come out nice?”

“Yeah…” Pastel rested his head on BB’s shoulder, hugging them tight “I love you, you know?”

BB smiled.

“I know”

tagging: @summer-of-whump@pinkraindropsfell

#summerofwhump #summerofwhump4 #BB: Baby Blue #Pastel baby <3 #Farlan B)#pet whump #whump

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shewritestheblues · 4 years ago

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The Elevator Bae x Chapter 1

Welp, I was hoping to recover chapters 1-8 but Tumblr is a hot ass mess with curls. So I’m reposting all of them. Here ya’ go my loves.

Chapter ONE

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

*NO WARNINGS*

Phoenix nods her head to the beat as Nipsey Hussle’s, Hussle & Motivate blast through her speakers. She’s learned to accept LA and all of its traffic. She’s officially been a Los Angeles resident for about a year now. She moved out here from Detroit. Phoenix packed all that she could fit in her small Chevy Cruz and drove the whole way. Life back home in Detroit was getting way too out of hand for her. Her friends didn’t really seem to support her dreams of being a DJ/Music Producer. Her family wanted her to go back to school and be something normal, like a nurse.

Phoenix worked her ass off with two jobs to fund her dream. Big Sean had heard one of her beats on her Soundcloud and reached out to her. That same beat was soon one of the top charting songs in the country. Artist were hitting Phoenix up left and right, wanting to work with her. Hustling her way into the industry, she was asked to DJ a huge party for Roc Nation in LA and the rest is history. After networking and making connections, she decided that staying in Detroit would hold her back. She didn’t even tell anyone that she was leaving… except her Mom.

She woke up one day and just left. She hasn’t looked back yet. Being in LA, she’s actually made a few genuine friends that not only supports her, but ride for her through thick and thin. They even staged a 4 day sleepover one time when Phoenix had an anxiety attack so bad, she couldn’t leave her apartment.

All in all, Phoenix could really say that she was happy.

-----

Phoenix sings along to every song has she moves her way through traffic. After an afternoon full of meetings, she finally reaches her apartment and turns down into the underground parking garage. Her favorite parking spot is open. As she steps out, she adjust her black leggings and cropped Harvard crewneck. She still sings along to the last song that played, Ari Lennox x BMO, now stuck in her head as she heads for the elevator‍.

A man ahead of steps into the elevator first. When he turns and notices her coming behind him, he holds the door for her.

When she looked up to say thank you, she wasn’t prepared for the man standing in front of her. This man… tall, the sweetest brown skin. His arms were definitely trying to break out of the sleeves of his burgundy fitted tee. His short dreads hung over his face, almost covering his eyes. She’s seen some fine guys since being in LA, but this one...he takes the cake.

“Thank...you”

“No problem.”

His voice… his fucking voice. It hit her like thunder. Has she ever heard a voice so damn sexy?

Then it hit Phoenix… jelly legs. She does her best to lean against the elevator door. The man pulls out a keycard and scans it. He must live in a penthouse. Only penthouse tenants had keycards.

“Which floor?”

“Uhh… Seven.”

The man hit the button for the 7th floor for her. As the doors shut, his cologne took the cabin hostage. It was a mix of Shea butter, cedar wood and vanilla. Phoenix hadn’t realized she closed her eyes as she took in his scent. But, he did. He released a low chuckle that took her from her trance. Her eyes shot open. She cleared her throat and tried to focus on a speck of dirt on her Chanel Slides.

The man opened his mouth to say something but before his words slipped, the elevator doors open. FLOOR 7. Phoenix internally panics, not sure if her legs would fail her. This really wasn’t the time nor place for this shit. She goes for it, rushing out. She made it but once she turned to walk to her door, barely out of site from the gorgeous man in the elevator, her knee buckles. She catches herself on the wall.

“Shit!” She slowly picks herself up, walking slowly to her door. The walk to the other end of the hall felt like 100 damn miles. She made it into her apartment. She drops her keys on the kitchen counter. She flops down on the couch. Dragging her sweaty hands over her face.

“Did I really just sniff this man? Did I really get caught sniffing this nigga?”

——-

The incident ran through her mind probably hundred times throughout the rest of her day. She managed to cook herself some dinner, shower and do a few loads of laundry. With each task, she would stop herself.

“I sniffed this nigga! What is wrong with me? I’m a creep.”

Her brain getting the best of her. She curls up on her couch. She had every intent to catch up on Steven Universe. Her schedule had been so busy that she has weeks of episodes to watch. But she couldn’t focus. All she could think about was this fine man. Why hadn’t she seen him before? And of course that just led back to her thinking about him catching her. She needed a distraction.

Instagram. She picked up her phone and scrolled down her timeline. Her homegirl, Ava, was all over the gram with her new photo shoot. Phoenix left a few comments.

YASSSS BITCH! GO OFF!

REAL HOT GIRL SHIT!

Phoenix continued scrolling. She found her way to her explore page. Liking a few pics of decor and food. And that’s when she saw it. Her ex, Justin, posted with his baby mama. Phoenix broke up with Justin the day before she moved to LA. That same day, she found out he had a baby on the way. That was the extra push she needed to just leave. Justin was her first everything. Her only real boyfriend and he did her dirty. She hadn’t really dated since then. She’d entertain a few of the industry guys that approached her but nothing ever happened. Her feelings were hurt instantly. Even though she had moved on and far away, that shit still stung like it was fresh. She locked her phone. When she needed a distraction, she ain’t mean that. Maybe making a beat would help.

She set up her mini, bootleg studio she created and got to work. It was so easy for her. This was her passion. She even wrote a few lyrics. Time was passing by and before she knew it, it was almost 2am.. she wasn’t surprised at all. She always worked best at night. She was in her zone so she didn’t wanna stop to go to sleep anytime soon.

Phoenix headed to the kitchen. She was going to need some good snacks to match this good creation session she was having. Opening her snack cabinet, she was met with a half eaten bag of plain chips and a pack of Oreos with ONE left.

“Ava is never staying here again. Eating up all my shit.” she says to herself.

She sent her friend a text, not caring that it’s late.

Phoenix: You owe me some snacks you hungry heffa.

Phoenix was determined to finish this night out strong by any means. Even if that means going to the store at 2am. She slid on her FENTY Slides. She refused to put on a bra so she threw on a Nike hoodie and headed out.

——-

The elevator seems to be taking forever. Who in the hell is holding it up this late? Phoenix starts to weigh her options. Tired of waiting, she debates whether she should just go back into her apartment.

DING

Letting out a deep sigh, “Finally!”

Looking up, she freezes. It’s him, sporting a black tank, basketball shorts, Nike socks and slides. He had small scars all over his upper torso and trailing down his arms. She is completely stuck, staring at him.

‘How far down did these scars go?’

The doors begin to close and the gorgeous man stops them with his hand.

“Are you gonna get in or just stand there?” he smiles.

‘HO MY GAWD! Is that gold in his mouth?

Phoenix slowly walks into the cabin. Arms folded over her chest, she stands in the front right corner. Ground Level already highlighted as their stop.

“It’s a little late for you to be out here by yourself ain’t it?” He asks.

Peaking over her shoulder, “I’m good.”

He doesn’t respond. Instead, Phoenix could feel him burning a hole in her back with his eyes. She turns to make sure she’s right.

Of course! He’s staring right at her ass. She wants to say something but her words are trapped in her throat. He smiles at her, making her swallow them down and she just looks down at her feet.

“I’m Erik.”

her head snaps back. “Huh?”

“My name. It’s Erik.”

“Oh…Phoenix.”

The elevator doors open. Phoenix waste no time stepping out. Erik is right behind her. He taps her arm, making her jump. Erik was used to women being nervous and awkward around him. He knew he was fine and enjoyed watching women fold before him. He showed his pearly whites, dimples pooling deep,

“Get back here safe, Phoenix.”

Making sure to say her name slowly.

LORDT! The way he said her name made her stomach flip. This man was dangerous. She could tell.

“Uh, you too, Erik.”

She tried to match his tone saying his name. Not wanting to stick around for his response she turns immediately to go to her car. Getting in, she sits. She’s looking out between the rows of cars to see where he went. Some lights flash and soon after, a blacked out Acura NSX with red detailing along the sides, slowly drives by, in front of her. She pretends to not notice, acting as though she’s looking down. She starts her car and pulled out of her parking spot. There’s no traffic but Erik made sure to sit at the parking garage’s entrance until her car pulled up behind him before revving his engine and taking off.

Phoenix rolls her eyes, playfully. “This nigga extra as hell.”

But she knew she liked it. The butterflies in her stomach wouldn’t let her lie to herself. The short drive to the 7/11 up the street consisted of her wondering where he was going this late and curious to know he’ll be there when she got back.

#the elevator bae #erik x black OC #erik x phoenix #black panther fic #Erik Killmonger

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marvels-writings · 5 years ago

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Rumor Has It (3)

| Part 1 | Part 2 |

Series Masterlist

Carol Danvers Masterlist

Harry Potter screaming was the thing that woke you up, surprisingly enough. You lifted your head off of whatever you were leaning on, feeling Carol’s head fall onto her shoulder. You smirked slightly, observing the moment before she woke up.

Surprisingly, Carol was still asleep, she seemed more relaxed than you had ever seen her, you smiled softly at the sight and turned the volume down on the TV until it was almost muted. You put a small pillow between Carol’s shoulder and neck so she won’t get the same neck cramp that you have. You noisily cracked your neck on your way to the bathroom.

You changed and were in the middle of brushing your teeth in your grey sweatpants, cute grey penguin socks and faded blue hoodie when you heard the TV switch off. Confused, you walked outside with your hair in a messy bun and your toothbrush in your mouth to find Carol staring at you amusedly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and wincing when she tried to stretch her neck. “You could’ve woken me up.” You joked, the words coming out weird with the toothbrush in your mouth.

“I didn’t want to disturb you.” Carol muttered, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her face in a light pink blush at seeing you in this state. Hardly anyone got to see you, one of SHIELD’s top dogs in pajamas and penguin socks, it made her smile a little.

“Your loss.” You replied, walking back in while brushing your teeth, spitting and mouth washing before walking into the bedroom, glancing over the mission files quickly.

“I’m gonna get some beer from the fridge, want anything?” Carol asked, getting off the bed and walking over to the mini fridge.

“No thanks, maybe something with chocolate if there is anything.” You answered, Carol chuckled slightly and found a medium sized packet of Chips Ahoy.

“There’s this.” Carol offered, throwing the bag at you, you caught it smoothly and grinned when you saw the packet.

“Oh my god I love this place.” You exclaimed, sitting down on the bed and glancing at the clock. It was well past midnight and the mission started tomorrow. Carol laughed and sipped her beer before flopping down next to you.

“Drinking before a mission?” You asked, eating your cookies while looking at Carol with feigned disappointment.

“Human alcoholic drinks don’t affect me too much.” Carol explained, taking a sip again.

“Thought you’d be more of a whiskey person.” You said with a shrug, eating your cookies and leaning back against the headboard.

“Thought you’d be more of an adult.” Carol joked, gesturing to the chips ahoy in your hand.

“Best snacks made by humans do NOT have an age limit.” You joked, smacking her arm lightly before offering her one. Carol shrugged and took one, her eyes widening slightly at the taste.

“This is better than oreos.” Carol muttered before grabbing a few out of the bag.

“‘Thought you’d be more of an adult.’” You mimicked, finishing the bag and tossing the wrapper in the trash can successfully.

“At least I have an adult drink.” Carol retorted, then added, “Want some warm milk with that?”

You rolled your eyes and lay down, turning away from Carol while holding your pillow and lying down on your stomach comfortable, the pillow tucked into the crook of your shoulder.

“I’m gonna sleep before you can offer a pacifier too,” You joked, murmuring sleepily, pulling the blanket on top of yourself. Carol stared at how uncaring you were with what she thought about you.

“You can sleep on the couch if you’re that adamant about personal space,” You retorted, before Carol could say something back you cut her off. “Goodnight Carol.” Carol rolled her eyes at you, knowing you couldn’t see the action.

“Goodnight y/n.” She answered, watching the steady rise and fall of your body for a few seconds before chugging her beer and throwing it in the recycle can and debating where to sleep.

If she slept on the couch she doubted you would care, but at the same time there’s vomit stains on the couch and some other stains she would rather not have the explanation to on the pillows. If she slept on the bed, she might end up embarrassing herself somehow. She had recurring nightmares way too often, Carol remembered burning through the bed once.

She changed into a grey tank top with rather thick straps and black sweatpants before joining you.

Even though you weren’t someone who Carol saw the need to impress, the need was starting to make itself imminent. Carol sighed and hoped she wouldn’t have a nightmare before lying down next to you, letting your steady breathing lull her to sleep.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

This time, instead of Harry Potter you awoke to the feeling of being right next to a heater on a summer’s day in the middle of an earthquake on top of a bed. Definitely one of the weirdest feelings you’ve woken up to, maybe the weirdest.

You sat up quickly and looked around in the dark, when you saw golden wisps coming from next to and murmuring, you switched on the light next to you. The light illuminated a sweaty Carol turning from side to side, her hair plastered to her forehead, the blankets cocooning her and her powers getting a bit out of hand.

“Carol,” You said quietly, reaching one hand out to shake her shoulder gently. Carol stopped struggling a little but then it grew worse, much worse. You knew waking her up would scare her more than anything so you tried something else.

You gently started running your fingers along her scalp, then through her hair before repeating the action. Carol’s turning slowed rapidly, so did the heat coming off from her body. You could see her fluttering eyes also start to slow a bit as did her breathing.

You smiled softly and continued repeating the action, marvelling at how soft her hair was. You heard Carol’s breathing pick up and the fluttering begin to increase and you knew she was about to wake up, you put the hand which was in her hair on her shoulder, pretending you had woken her up like a normal person.

Carol’s eyes opened slowly, revealing her gorgeous hazel eyes filled with confusion, her brow furrowed as she sat up, tousling her hair as you took your hand off of her shoulder.

“What the hell happened?” She demanded softly, staring at her feet before pulling her knees up to her chest.

“You were sweating and turning, your powers started to get a little out of hand so I woke you up.” You explained, looking at her with concern, you rested one hand on her shoulder to get her attention, her head snapped to you.

Carol looked more scared than you’ve ever seen her. She had the expression of a cornered animal, terrified out of her mind. She calmed slightly while looking at you but not really, you felt her body shaking slightly as well as the sweat on her arm.

“I know I’m probably not the best person,” You scratched your neck with your free hand. “But do you wanna talk about it?” You looked at her with sincerity, meaning every word you said.

“I, I really don’t know.” Carol sighed, taking a deep breath in and crossing her legs instead, tousling her hair with her other hand.

“What was it about?” You asked softly, taking your hand away from her shoulder and crossing your legs, prepared to stay up all night if you needed to, you glanced quickly at the clock and saw it was 4:30 in the morning.

“Hala, the kree found me again,” Carol mumbled, staring at the mattress instead of you. “They attacked SHIELD, everyone I care about, they killed.”

“Can I touch you?” You asked softly, knowing physical contact grounded most people but you saw the need to ask. Carol looked at you like you were insane but shrugged with a small sure.

You reached out timidly and trailed your fingers down her forearm, leaving tingles everywhere, before taking Carol’s hand, your forearm resting on top of Carol’s. You comfortingly stroked her knuckles, almost as if gesturing for her to continue. She barely could through her blush.

“That was about it.” Carol lied, she wouldn’t tell you about how she almost died trying to protect everyone, how she killed Yon-Rogg the second he laid a hand on you. When she saw you, Fury, Maria, everyone she cared about dead because of her, it tore her apart.

She knew Hala could never track her, would never track her, they knew she was more powerful than they ever knew. But still, it was a possibility she could lose everything she has.

“Well, I can distract you by rambling about something, play some music, dance, or well why don’t you choose.” You whispered. Carol couldn’t help but laugh at that, she leaned back against the headboard, you were probably the only person to make her smile after a nightmare.

‘Maybe this could work out’ Carol thought, smiling softly at the thought while watching your joined hands.

Tag list: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @5aftermidnight, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

A/N: I meant for this to be angsty but i wasn’t in the mood. Feedback is amazing, as always, and requests are open even tho it may take me awhile to answer them and i swear the actual SONG Rumor Has It by Adele started playing when I finished

| Part 4 |

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dreamgirl4certain · 5 years ago

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The Elevator Bae

Chapter ONE.

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

A/N: I am so nervous about putting this out. I’ve been struggling for weeks to actually sit and write it but the idea just won’t leave my head. So, I figured why the hell not. Next chapter will pick up for sure.

Phoenix worked her ass off with two jobs to fund her dream. Big Sean had heard one of her beats on her Soundcloud and reached out to her. That same beat was soon one of the top charting songs in the country. Artist were hitting Phoenix up left and right, wanting to work with her. Hustling her way into the industry, she was asked to DJ a huge party for Roc Nation in LA and the rest is history. After networking and making some connections, she decided that staying in Detroit would hold her back. She didn’t even tell anyone that she was leaving… except her Mom.

All in all, Phoenix could really say that she was happy.

A man ahead of steps into the elevator first. When he turns and notices her coming behind him, he holds the door for her.

“Thank...you”

“No problem.”

His voice… his fucking voice. It hit her like thunder. Has she ever heard a voice so damn sexy?

Then it hit Phoenix… jelly legs. She does her best to lean against the elevator door. The man pulls out a keycard and scans it. He must live in a penthouse. Only penthouse tenants had keycards.

“Which floor?”

“Uhh… Seven.”

“Did I really just sniff this man? Did I really get caught sniffing this nigga?”

——-

“I sniffed this nigga! What is wrong with me? I’m a creep.”

Instagram. She picked up her phone and scrolled down her timeline. Her homegirl, Ava, was all over the gram with her new photo shoot. Phoenix left a few comments.

YASSSS BITCH! GO OFF! REAL HOT GIRL SHIT!

“Ava is never staying here again. Eating up all my shit.” she says to herself.

She sent her friend a text, not caring that it’s late.

Phoenix: You owe me some snacks you hungry heffa.

——-

The elevator seems to be taking forever. Who in the hell is holding it up this late? Phoenix starts to weigh her options. Tired of waiting, she debates if she should just go back into her apartment.

DING

Letting out a deep sigh, “Finally!”

How far down did these scars go?

The doors begin to close and the gorgeous man stops them with his hand.

“Are you gonna get in or just stand there?” he smiles.

‘HO MY GAWD! Is that gold in his mouth?

Phoenix slowly walks into the cabin. Arms folded over her chest, she stands in the front, right corner. Ground Level already highlighted as their stop.

“It’s a little late for you to be out here by yourself ain’t it?” He asks.

Peaking over her shoulder, “I’m good.”

He doesn’t respond. Instead, Phoenix could feel him burning a hole in her back with his eyes. She turns to make sure she’s right.

Of course! He’s staring right at her ass. She wants to say something but her words are trapped in her throat. He smiles at her, making her swallow them down and she just looks down at her feet.

“I’m Erik.”

her head snaps back. “Huh?”

“My name. It’s Erik.”

“Oh…Phoenix.”

“Get back here safe, Phoenix.”

Making sure to said her name slowly.

LORDT! The way he said her name made her stomach flip. This man was dangerous. She could tell.

“Uh, you too, Erik.”

She tried to match his tone saying his name. Not wanting to stick around for his response she turns immediately to go to her car. Getting in, she sits. She’s looking out between the rows of cars to see where he went. Some lights flash and soon after, a blacked out Acura NSX with red detailing along the sides, slowly drives by, in front of her. She pretends to not notice, acting as though she’s looking down. She starts her car and pulls out of her parking spot. There’s no traffic but Erik made sure to sit at the parking garage’s entrance until her car pulled up behind him before revving his engine and taking off.

Phoenix rolls her eyes, playfully. “This nigga extra as hell.”

Tags: @purple-apricots @abeautifulmindexposed **If anyone likes this and wants to be tagged in the next chapter, let me know.

#black panther #erik stevens #erik killmonger #erik killmonger x OC #black oc #shaebewritinrg #erik x phoenix

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years ago

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WhatsApp? Part 4. (Steve Rogers x reader)

Description: You’ve never been lucky with guys. You just wanted to catch someone’s eye, to be loved. One day, that’s about to turn completely - with one fake, completely imagined number a guy gave you

A/N: I know that at this moment I've completely forgotten about MCU timeline - but... Just fuck it, bro. Let me dream my dream, ok.

Warnings: Peter crushing into "puberty". Hard.

Tagging: @missdictatorme @songforhema

Read the previous parts and have an idea of what is actually going on :) : Part One Part Two Part three

Series Masterlist: H E R E

You were eager to see Peter the other day. Steve wrote as he promised, but none of his formal texts:

Steve: Hello, Y/N. Hope that you'll have a good day at work. Don't overstress yourself, I want to know you better. What about 6 p.m.? We will have more time. I have no work or work out to do today. That means I'm all yours to answer your questions if you're up to it. ;)

You fangirled over that man once again. He was polite yet way more friendly than in the previous days. You wanted to thank Peter in the most sincere way possible - so you bought him big Oreo milkshake he loved so dearly and left in your office's fridge. If there wasn't for Peter, you wouldn't crack up Steve's personality so early. You would do it as the time would pass, but Peter just saved your ass.

You could tell Deena or May, but you felt like Peter should be the one who will know about the success of your teamwork first.

You didn't want to be too I eager about Steve, so you wrote:

Y/N: I will be careful, don't worry about that. And I will be looking forward to that as well, handsome.

You lived for calling him handsome. In your mind, he had to be handsome. And you didn't know that every time it made him smile.

Steve: That's what I like to hear. :)

But when Pete came, it was around three p.m., he was really pale and he looked paranoid as hell. He was sweaty and he shook hard, and that made you worried about that boy. What happened to him? Did Flash take it too far this time? Nonsense. Pete wasn't minding Flash as much.

Liz. Something must've happened to Liz.

"Hey," - you came up to him. You looked him up and down, catching Val's stare. She liked Peter as well. Every woman in this office was his adoptive mom. But you were just the biggest. - "Something with Liz? You look like a piece of trash, Pete."

He looked at you as if you scared the living soul out of his body. He was scared to death. He put a hand on your shoulder, prepared to tell you something, but then he tensed, looking at his hand.

"I, I think I'm in puberty, Y/N," - he gulped out loud, looking you dead in the eyes.

"Peter. You're fifteen." - You stated, smoothing his hand on your shoulder. It was... Sticky. In a gross sense. - "You're in puberty for a looong time."

Peter looked at his hand and tried to take it off your shoulder. But it felt like he was glued to your tee.

"Flash attacked your hand with a second glue or what? You're scaring the hell out of me." - You tried to shook him down, but it was an impossible task. That hand hadn't moved an inch.

"Oh shit." - he cursed under his breath, catching his forearm with his second palm. - "Let go, let go, let go..." - Then it finally let go... And holy shit, you just heard how the tee is tearing apart and you saw its remnants on glued his hand. What. The. Fuck?

Everyone centered their stare at you two, in the middle of the office. You were too shocked to even move and Peter was about to faint. He turned away immediately, trying not to look at you. He still tried too shook the tee off.

"Peter what the fuck is this about?!" - You heard an angry voice coming from the hall. May just came back with lunch for everybody. She threw the bags with China aside and looked at Peter like she's about to kill him. - "Would you mind to tell me why is Y/N naked in the middle of the day in our office and you have her t-shirt in your hand? Hm? Is this funny to you, young man? You're so grounded for the rest of the week." - She stated, looking him up and down. She looked straight like some demon crawling out of the deepest ends of hell, ready to give Peter the biggest moral lecture of his whole fucking life.

"May I think he's sick. He's burning and I think he'll faint any minute. Look at him." - You mumbled as you were putting your sweater on, defending that poor boy. You knew it wasn't done on purpose. But this wasn't a part of fucking puberty. You didn't have sticky hands. No one in history had them.

"Dear lord." - May immediately turned off that demon mode, turning the mother mode. She came close to him, but Peter insisted on her staying the hell out from where he was standing.

"You're really not looking good. But I can't leave office, I have a meeting with a worker sent by the Stark industries, I can't leave before seven p.m.. Would you take him to the hospital? There's no time for a pediatrician." - She asked you with such a concern in her voice, staying feet away from Pete, looking terrified.

"Yeah. I'll finish my work tomorrow, it's nothing too burning. It will wait a day or two." - You nodded automatically, worried about him. He was about to faint any minute now. You took your backpack, supporting Peter with your body and leading him out of the office. You didn't realize that your phone was left on your working desk.

The traffic was a real terror. Peter shook like hell on the co-drivers side, hyperventilating into a paper bag. His eyes were closed and you just prayed for him not to vomit all over your car.

"Have you eaten something bad? What did you eat during the day? Peter, did you do some drugs or shit like that? I need to know before we get there." - You drive off the main road, sure it will be faster to the hospital. You just needed Peter woken up by the time you'll reach the hall. Then he can pass out.

"No, no. I swear I didn't do drugs... I think something bit me." - He showed you his wrist with a huge red spot on it. It was swollen so much that his fingers were twice their normal size. Holy. Shit.

"You think?! I'm fucking sure of it!" - You yelled. Your windows were rolled down, so when you yelled, a lady suddenly turned at you in shock. But you couldn't care less. - "What the hell bit you? Nothing leaves a spot like this for fuck's sake."

"I don't really know..." - Peter mumbled. His voice was quiet and you could hear he's in huge pain. This truly was an emergency. - "We were on a school trip to some labs. I don't even know what it was or when it - ewgh." - You heard as he vomited into the paper bag. You wish you could take a part of his pain on yourself - he was in a delirious state.

"Hold on ten more minutes, Pete." - You patted his shoulder carefully as he kept on vomiting, looking into the road. You didn't even care if he vomits in your car. All you wished was to be in the fucking hospital.

They immediately took him in. The nurses didn't even care if you're his family member or not, but you told them you were only a close family friend. Peter sat on the bed, crying, sweating and mumbling, wishing to make it stop, then vomited for ten minutes straight into a bucket they have him. You were there, nursing him, playing with his hair and hugging his shoulder.

They checked his pulse, took some blood from him, measured his temperature and asked you what could've caused it. You told them about the spot on his hand, then it was time to wait for all the results. You had to sit in the hall, patiently waiting for them to tell you what's wrong with Pete. You tried to find your phone, but it wasn't in your backpack.

Great. Peter was dying in your car, almost vomited all over it and you left your phone in the office. You realized you will not be able to text Steve back at six p.m., it was impossible for you to accomplish that. And you left your lunch at the office as well. You were hungry as a wolf but you were too afraid to leave the hall - news about Pete could come any minute.

Poor boy.

The doctor came to you at five p.m.. The waiting felt like hell. You sighed in relief when she was smiling a bit at you light-heartedly. She was nice - a small, thin young woman with short curly hair and beautiful chocolate skin. You almost jumped at her with fear in your face

"Hello, Ms. Y/L/N. My name's Dr. Smith. Nice to meet you. You came here with Peter Parker, right?" - She smoothed your shoulder and made you sit down again. You turned your eyes to her with anticipation. Dr. Smith took it as a yes, still smoothing your arm slowly. She was calming you don't and you didn't mind at all. That was what you needed.

"Peter is now stabilized, he doesn't vomit anymore, which is good. He's a bit better now after we gave him some antibiotics. You told my colleague that he was bitten by something, is that right?" - She crossed her legs over each other, looking you in the eyes. You nodded, relieved that Peter is better now. Not much, but even that bit helped a lot.

"Okay. We did inspect his blood and the good news is that he hasn't any toxins or neurotoxins in his blood flow. As far as we tested his blood, he has the blood of a newborn baby. I've never seen blood as clean as his. It is more probable that he's just ill and he had a shock because something bit him. He connected two dots and made himself believe that the bit is where this is all coming from. This is pretty common, don't worry." - Dr. Smith talked with you in a sweet tone, giving you a document with his bio stats. It looked... Ok. The results were good.

"Only thing I don't like is his fever. He had almost 105.8°F (41°C). He has a strong symptom of his body trying to destroy some virus in him, don't panic now. You may take him home, we gave him painkillers and the antibiotics, as I said, so the fever is slowly fading out. But. Wake him every hour and make him drink something. If you don't do that, his body can dehydrate pretty fast and that is a thing we want to avoid at all costs. Peter's going through a lot now. He needs to have a diet now to calm his stomach, prepare him some black tea with a bit of sugar and if he'll be hungry, give him some whiskers or rolls without anything, ok? And if the fever rises up again, call the ambulance." - She stood up. So did you. - "He'll sleep through one or two days, but don't worry. His body will handle this perfectly. He's a young strong man." - Dr. Smith offered you her palm and you shook it.

"Thank you, doctor. It was really nice to meet you." - You smiled at her and she watched as you joined two huge men with Pete on a wheelchair. They told you that they're going with you two - Peter wasn't even able to stand up on his own feet at his current state.

But that boy was totally out. He was giggling and pointing around himself, saying beep! almost every five minutes. Oh God, you wished you could make a video out of that. He was totally out of his mind.

"Y/N!" - He yelled all over the hall with an honest smile. He sounded drunk as hell, his voice was overly calm and mumbly. You smiled at him and took a side by his wheelchair for him to stop yelling. A lot of people watched you at that moment, some were confused, some were having fun. - "Can you see it too? Man, that is just awesome. Beep!" - The tip of his finger reached your nose and he giggled again. Peter was so out.

"Of course." - You assured him when you stopped by the ambulance car. He was holding your hand in a tight, almost hurting grip. Which was weird. Peter should be numb after medicine. Shouldn't he?

"Of course what?" - Peter asked and opened his mouth in anticipation.

"I can see everything." - You winked at him, took the bag off his lap and waited until the men helped Peter into the back of the car.

When Peter laid into bed, he immediately fell asleep. He was snoring really, really loud. You carefully took the phone out of his backpack and tried to call May while brewing him a tea as Dr. Smith ordered him. When she didn't pick up, you left her a quick voicemail.

"Hey May. Don't worry about Pete, he's better now. Two men from the hospital helped us to get to your flat and laid Pete in his bed. He's sleeping, his body is ok, he has only a higher fever, nothing too dramatic. I'll tell you more when you'll get home. And take my phone with you, thanks. Bye, Y/N." - That was it. You were watching a movie with a phone clock ticking down an hour. You woke Peter up twice and he drank a whole cup and a half of tea. When his head touched his pillowy he was immediately asleep again, snoring lightly.

You just sat there for a few more minutes, smoothing his sweaty hair. Then, when you heard the flack door opening, you lightly kissed his forehead and nudged him into a blanket like a mermaid.

May was home. And she looked totally wrecked. She had a long day at the office, then the thing about Pete... She was really to go to sleep. But she knew that she'll have to stay up to take care of Pete.

"Hey." - She hugged you and sighed in relief. - "I have your phone and your China. Thank you for saving my ass. Otherwise, I would have to go and the meeting would be canceled for sure."

"Pete's one of my best friends. He's maybe a bit like a son to me. I couldn't let him suffer. And thank you for that phone. Pete fell asleep again just minute's ago, I just made him drink." - You started to pack your stuff, but May stopped you.

"You can sleep on the couch. Your car isn't here anyway, you must've left it by the hospital. You can borrow mine tomorrow, I'll stay at home with Pete at home." - She offered you and you hugged her again. You adored that woman so much. Every time you've visited their place, it just felt like home. And May took you as her daughter and bestie, which was so good it was almost dreamy.

"In that case take a shower and go to sleep. I'll take care of Peter until... What about one a.m.? It's seven p.m. so you'll sleep a little at least." - You put your things next to the couch, taking an old tee and some old worn-out sweats from May.

"That's a deal. Also... That Steve of yours. It looked like he's ready worried about you. You better answer him." - May winked at you playfully, but you could feel she wasn't feeling too easy. Pete was in such a state she just couldn't feel easy. You almost forgot about Steve.

And those six texts were speaking for themselves.

Steve: Hey! It's six p.m. and I'm ready to get to know you better.

Steve: Okay... Is everything alright, Y/N?

Steve: I took it too far, didn't I? I'm so sorry.

Steve: Just answer me, please. I'm really sorry.

Steve: Y/N, come on. Please tell me that you're alright.

Steve: I hope you're safe at least.

Y/N: Omg! Handsome, I am so so so sorry for being so dumb. I left my phone at the office. I was in a hurry, my friend's nephew was really sick and I needed to take him to the hospital. I got to read your text now, Steve. I am so sorry.

---

Steve was thinking about what he has done wrong. He took on that you're a person who is keen on having everything on time. There was nothing he could do wrong technically - but Steve was too pure to realize that.

He was really sad about that, wishing that you'll text him back.

Sam just came back after a long jog in the downtown, looking hella pumped. He was proud of his looks and his muscles were perfectly tensed up.

For Steve, Sam was the well of knowledge about today's women. She almost jumped at him and Sam just stood there, almost shitted in his pants.

"Calm down, tiger." - Sam giggled at Steve and went to drink a glass of water. - "I'm happy to see you too."

"I think I have fucked up." - Steve almost shout at him with panic. Sam tensed up and watched him down and up with death stare. - "YOU HAVE TO HELP ME."

"Calm down, you PMS girl. Don't you try to cry? You know that I'll not make me go gentle on you." - Sam drank the water, looking Steve into the face, being not too scared about what Steve has done. - "Now ya tell Mr. March maker what the hell happened."

So Steve talked about yesterday, getting to know you better and really liking it, eager to know even more about you and talked you down to another round of the game. But then you didn't write on time - and you always did. You texted him back every morning exactly at 8:05 a.m., you went to sleep exactly at 10 p.m. You wouldn't just don't text in without a reason.

"You are making so much unnecessary drama here, Iceberg. How many texts have you sent for that hour you've been alone here?" - Sam asked worriedly and almost spat out the water our when Steve mumbled 'six' in a quiet tone. - "Holy shit. Rogers, you look soooo obsesses about that girl. Calm the hell down dude, you will scare her off hella fast if you'll continue like that, boi." - Sam chuckled at his friend devilishly.

Steve and girl. A perfect story for a book or for a movie. He was totally clueless about how to act with the women of this age. He wasn't exactly a hit with the ladies at his time - and these time were just too harsh for a man like Steve.

It was nice to see Steve being so into someone but if he scared her off, there will be nothing to repair here. Which would be really hard for that sensitive old man.

And Steve almost melted when his phone rang, his eyes immediately glued to the display. It was a text. And it was from her. He felt like laughing.

"Man, you are one lucky guy, I tell you." - Sam winked on Steve and got up for his two hours lasting bathroom routine. He had a complex vitamin and skin routine. - "Go get her, tiger!" - Sam yelled loudly and laughed again.

"She is just a friend, Wilson!" - Steve yelled back when the bathroom door shut.

"I can't even count how many time I've heard that already!" - Sam ended the chat. He always had to have the last word. That was one of his many characteristics which could be really nerving from time to time. But it was a friend after all of it. And he could Steve feel easy and make him laugh, and that was the point of their friendship.

He sat at their table, frowning at the texts you were sending him, telling him all about your chaotic evening.

That Peter, a nephew of your boss who was actually one of your best friends, tore a t-shirt off your body. You laughed about it now but you told Steve that you were freaking out when it happened. Then you described your evening in the hospital hall - and you told him that now you're watching after Pete.

Steve: Do I look like a creep now? Freaking out because you were late? I feel so uncomfortable now.

Y/N: You and a creep? Oh please. I think it's sweet. :)

Y/N: It is my fault after all that I forgot my phone at home, isn't it? Don't be sorry about being worried.

So you were completely fine with him freaking out. You even found him caring. That was so sweet in his eyes, you were overly so sweet.

And so you texted until one a.m. Well until the time you have woken up Pete for the last time.

You were really funny, texting him some of your stupid childhood stories, telling him how did you choose your job and why did you settle down in Queens. He told you more about himself - the stories of him trying to cook for the first time. He told you about his best friends - Bucky and James. And the dog in his profile pic, Fosco, was his friend's - her name was Sharon.

Time was running with the speed of light when you two could write, not having those formal barriers holding you down. You were such a playful person full of wonder and life. And Steve hadn't felt anything like that for a long time.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #captain america #whatsapp #sam wilson #the falcon #peter parker #may parker #aunt may #marvel #mcu

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hollandroos · 6 years ago

Text

Before I go - Part 2 | Peter x Stark!Reader

Read part 1 here

Summary: Tony Stark was always putting himself in harm’s way but one day things finally go too far. It’s a good thing Peter is there to hold you up back, right? Wrong.

Words: 2k

Warnings: Death, angst.

By three o’clock two days later, the entire world knew about the tragic passing of Tony Stark and you hated it. For some grieved the great futurist and man behind the Iron man mask who was a symbol of hope and determination, while some slacked off about everything he did wrong over the course of his time on Earth.

“Oh – Tony Stark? You mean the man that designed those explosives? It’s a good thing he’s gone.”

“He was an asshole to begin with. Glorified, put on a pedestal.”

“Maybe now Captain America will get the attention he deserves.”

While others went off about their hatred on breaking news sites, typing out their aggressive hatred in magazine articles and spitting comments on Instagram, you mourned your dad.

You mourned two am hugs down in the lab when neither of you could sleep – because Starks had the worst sleeping patterns. And you sobbed over endless take outs that resulted in bellyaches and his high blood pressure and you wept over the once everlasting feeling of safety and security that he provided.

You wept and cried and sobbed until the rims of your eyes were raw and painfully, cherry red. You wailed until your voice was nothing more then a dull squeak and you hit smacked fists against Steves broad chest until Bruce thought you had to be sedated.

From there on out, you had felt hollow, like one of those Cadbury's Easter eggs that your father used to lay around the house on Easter for egg hunts. He did those up until the age of sixteen – they always ended with hot cross buns and scolding hot chocolates while Pepper told you both off for being up too early.

For the last two, compelling years you’d skipped that tradition and found the eggs waiting at the end of your bed, despite your protests that you were too old now. Your dad had demanded that you were never too old for chocolate and bit into his own, oreo centred chocolate bar.

“Ms Stark?” J.A.R.V.I.S’s voice rings through the walls, making you budge no more then an inch. “Ms Stark, you’ve been requested in the kitchen.” His voice that was once comforting now makes you long for the creator. The man you called home. “Captain Rogers has made your favourite meal.”

Captain Rogers. You screw your face up, feeling your cheeks stiffen due to sticky tears that’d dried against them from the night before. A shower was tempting - and you were itching to scrub the dirt and death from your body. But you didn’t want to scrub his touch from your skin just yet.

Captain Rogers was waiting for you in the kitchen. Pepper would be there too, ready to shoot you sympathetic looks and ask if you had spoken to Peter since the events that took place in outer space. She’d have to bite her tongue from asking if you were okay because she knew as well as the rest of the damn beings at the compound that you weren’t going to give a proper answer. Some snarky remark maybe, possibly a mere huff.

You’re just like your father, she always used to tell you. Just like him in every way but one.

You allowed yourself to be happy and found yourself adoring the little things. From the butterflies that’d float past your bedroom window to the warm set of arms (Peters) that’s loop around your waist at eight twenty three am when he arrived outside to take you to school. You let yourself be happy, but now you agreed that you were exactly like your father because he wasn’t happy. He was consumed by the past. Happiness wasn’t an option unless he was with you. His light.

Captain Rogers– Steve was waiting with a cold tea in one hand. Pepper was holding a coffee with two sugars. You want to know how they’re carrying on because you surely couldn’t. It wasn't necessarily that you couldn’t because if your father had taught you anything, it was that you could always keep moving forward. It was that you didn’t want to.

“Mr Rogers would like me to let you know that if you don’t get up and meet them in the kitchen then he will come to you.”

See, the AI got you there. Because you didn’t like having people in your room. Nat didn’t seem to get that memo because you’d find her sitting on the edge of your bed sometimes after school, waiting for a rundown of all the ‘tea.’ You’d thought that it was because Pepper wanted you to have more female friends around the compound before Bruce had told you that Nat was genuinely curious, and found herself wanting to know everything about your teenage life as she had missed out on her own.

But now, worse then ever, you didn’t want people coming into your room. Admittedly it didn’t smell the best and your discarded suit still lay in the corner with blood stains down the side. You didn’t know whose.

But you didn’t want to move the bag of chips that your dad had left sitting on your desk the day before the mission. Or touch his sweater that sat on the laundry pile – even now, you admit that you probably wouldn’t wash it for a while because it smelt like him still.

“I don’t want to go.” You murmur into the pillow. It’s not a second later that you wince – because your voice is so raw. Your throat was rough and simply felt like nails running down a chalkboard.

“Ms Stark, you haven’t eaten since you arrived home and your vitals tell me that you’re dehydrated.”

“You scanned me?” You ask, already suspecting the answer.

“Ms Potts asked me too.”

You want to mutter a small “Of course she did.” and combine it with a role of your eyes but all you can do it force your legs over the side of the bed, shoving the sheets away and push yourself up. The cold air hits your bare legs with such an effort you nearly give in to the goosebumps rising on your calves and the ache in your chest and bury yourself under the comforter again.

But all you can do is take the blue sweatshirt from the end of your bed and bring it over your head, sucking the warmth straight from the cotton that still smelt like school – like the shitty cafeteria lunches and Peter Parker's cologne from the time the two of you sat at the bleachers instead of going to math.

School was the last thing on your mind.

Right next to Peter Parker. And maybe you would’ve felt bad if there wasn’t a weight the size of the galaxy weighing on your chest like an anchor.

Peter who was sitting at his desk tapping his pen against the wood obnoxiously only two hours ago, counting down the minutes until it’d be socially acceptable for him to go for another walk because he’d only just been for one fifteen minutes ago and he didn’t want the neighbours to think he was weird.

He had gone on approximately fourteen walks in the last two days, because although his thoughts went wherever he went when he was outside they were drowned out by the cool, winter weather knocking against chilly pink cheeks and popsicle like noses. He dodged the newsstands that made a profit off of spreading false stories about how the man – the hero had passed and didn’t say hello to the little old lady that sold the most delicious hot dogs he’d tried in his life.

And when he regretfully made it home for the time being? Peter checked that this phone was still fully charged, never allowing it to slip past 90% in case you called. Then he’d ignore the fact that his suit was tucked away in his drawers but one sleeve was hanging out with the web shooters still attached. Taunting him. Reminding him.

For two whole days, he hadn’t received a single message or call from you and the ‘Read at 4:58’ sign from two days ago haunted him. He wanted to know that you were okay – needed to know that you had Steve and Pepper and Nat and him.

Viciously, he’d count the bruises that lined his rib cage. He’d press against the ones on his thighs and grit his teeth. Peter Parker knew pain like he knew the back of his hand and unfortunately, he had begun to welcome it.

You faced the Avengers that had waited around, ignoring the searing pain in your chest that turned bitter when their eyes turned sympathetic. Surely it was due to the horrific bags beneath your eyes or the tremble of your hands. Maybe it was in the sweatshirt that you only pulled out when you had nothing else to wear or the blue and purple that highlighted the area around your eye.

“I wasn’t expecting you to come out of your room,” Steve says, straightening up against the kitchen counter as you step in. It’s one of the rare times where he’s not wearing the red and blue suit with the shield pressed tightly against his chest. Not many saw cap like this – dressed in a fitting grey sweater and loose sweats.

You recoil at the sight of food. “You should know by now cap, I always exceed your expectations.” Picking up the plate, you assess the food before putting it down – your stomach was doing flips. “Thanks for the food but I don’t want it.”

“You need to have something.” Pepper sighs. It’s then that you realise she had been staring at you since you walked in, ocean blue eyes boring holes into you. While Steve looked comfied up, she looked her usual self. You wondered if the women had even shed a tear.

Unknown to you, she had shed bucketloads.

Shrugging your shoulders, you continue your act. “I don’t feel like anything.”

This was all a performance, a game, even. An attempt to fool them all into thinking that you were holding up a little better then you were. Like you weren’t seconds away from collapsing on the kitchen floor.

“Your dad would want you to–”

Something in you snaps and with an aching throat and burning eyes, you grimace. “My dad’s dead.”

Silence envelops the room, wrapping you all in her sickening grasp and for a moment you debate bolting back to your room and locking the doors. Running away had been the best option lately – but before you can go through with your plan, Steve coughs.

“Have you spoken to Peter? He’s called me six times today asking about you.”

You want to cackle imagining Steve trying to use his phone. He often fumbled with the buttons and still didn't understand emojis. But with rage fueling your every action you huff.

“Six times? It’s only one.”

“It’s five.” He tells you – pity evident. You hate pity. Your dad despised it too.

“I’ll call him later.” It’s an empty promise. Steve realises it, Pepper realises it and you’re glad Nat isn’t there because she’d be the one to call you out on it. “Thanks for the food but I don’t want it.”

Neither of them try to stop you as you walk out, ignoring the missing skip in your step and the lack of enthusiasm in your voice but neither could blame you for the pain that manages to seep through every word.

And on your way out, you count every step until you get back to your room. You take the stairway instead of the elevator and lose count at one hundred and seven.

Let me know if you enjoyed it!

Everything tags: @cosmetologynerd @holland-ish @smexylemony @dej-okay@hollandsletters @ive-got-some-lies-to-tell @liz-gayllen@marvelismylifffe@lovelyh0lland @tomhollandandmarvelsworld @woah-jess@southsidefandoms@justannothermonday @its-claire-louise@sophiatomlinson23 @mockingjaygirl1221@joyfullyjenny@damnhisfaceisliketheskyatnight @bride-of-loki-odinson @in-the-corner-coffee-please@futuremrsb-r-main @spideyyypeter @saturn-aka-six@c0prolalia @buckykinz@ashtonsbandannas @dennasaur @amyyleblanc1999@fnosidam@randomfangirl1701@maybeandperhaps @acciorinn @marvel-language @micki-smiles@justmesadgirl @converseskyline @niall2017@gavemylifetotomholland @tomuchmarvel@leslieandjensen @painted-soulss@practicallylivesonline @mischiefmanaged49 @its-the-unknownspidey@holyrose96 @for-my-mind @mlxbm @erindillon11 @captainbuckyy @shawnandhisroses @converseskyline @smitten0-0kitten @parkeroos @whileinparis @unicornio-vomita-mierdas @draqcnheartstrinq @rainyboo-posts @mikalaka @petxrpxrker @tony-starks-ego @thedaydreamingwriter @peter-quackson @kateelyse96 @lesbian-jesus-jr @wheresmyquill@elyshugh@hollanderheart @tomshufflepuff @marvelismylifffe @tomsh0lland @obsessed-fandoms @girl-in-the-chair @trashqueenbitch @dramatic-and-young @honey-honey-5644@parkerluvs @chingonaconcha @captainbuckyy @jes-sica1@tomsfireheart @Rainbow-marvel @spideysimpossiblegirl @spideys-gurl@thomasstanley-holland @mlxbm @ixchel-9275@parkerssweb @peter-parkersbb @tom-hollands-eyelash @starlightfound @vldlvj @paradoxparker @lustfulcry @mlxbm @musiclover1263 @justatheatredork@peterparkerscamera@fandomnerdsarecool @thequeensardine @cutesy-angst@httplayer @mischiefmanaged49 @loca-lola @softboyparkerr @desir-ae @dangerousluv1 @t-hotland @laucontrerasv @peter-parkersbb@whatdafricklefrackle @thatblondebelgiangirl @fairydustparker @they-call-me-le @jamiemac26@nephalem67 @underoos-tom @quaxon-holland@lovelyspidey @no-shxt-sherl @xlatinaaxx@starlightfound @mikexpeter @moonandstars-xo @httpmcrvel @evelyn120700@fromheroestodust@hollandfieldblurbs @ghostlypandacolorpersona@spazclaiire @curlyhairedparker @josierosie@unicornio-vomita-mierdas @icondy@euphoricholland @desir-ae @lovelyspidey @thelazypangolin@ameeravioli@ramen-tically @mellifluous-tom @mrs-webslinger @krazykiara @scottyisthatyou@@s0cial-retard @sithskywalkers @avenirectioner @cokemania147@awkwardfangirl2014 @thot–holland @tomsmelanin @tryn25 @marvelismylifffe @fratboievans @draqcnheartstrinq @mellifluous-tom @obsidiandolans @peter-parkersbb @slingingwingingspidey @darlingxholland @50shadesoflaurmani @tomhollandswh0re @ixchel-9275 @hellaparker @vintagexquill @spidey-caps

#Peter parker #Peter Parker fanfic #Peter Parker fanfiction #Peter Parker au #Peter Parker x reader #Peter Parker x reader insert #Peter Parker series #Peter Parker angst #Peter Parker imagines #Peter Parker imagine #Peter Parker oneshot #peter parker x you

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leelee10898 · 5 years ago

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Party in the USA

Hey guys, It's @leelee10898.Ive been MIA from CGW for a while, I miss it so much.. In light of the 4th of July, ive thrown together some squad shenanigans for ya!! I tried my damndest to get this finished yesterday, but no luck... I did a super fast edit, so im sorry, but this shit is gonna be flawed lol.. enjoy.

The Royal Jett touched down in Dulles international airport as the girls squealed in their seats. It was 4th of July weekend and they were excited to share it with their men, since not one of them had ever celebrated the extremely patriotic American Holiday. "Nothing says 4th of July like celebrating in our nation's capital." Anitah beamed as she stepped off the plane, joining the group who already exited. "Well, you're the queen of Cordonia now, she is your Nation now Love." Liam grinned as he kissed her cheek. "Um no offense Liam, but this will always be our nation." Alicia butted in. "Yeah, 'Merica!" Genevieve pumped her fist. "Merica?" Liam whispered to Drake "yeah. Short for America. Just, go with it Li." Drake shook his head. Pam laughed at her friends "ok Ladies, how about we get settled and go find something to get into."

They opted to rent a house instead of a hotel so they could grill and chill the proper way. "Oh shit, there's a pool, I can't even wait to jump in that later." Alicia smirked as she winked at Leo. "Clothing optional love?" He smirked as Liam rolled his eyes. "Why are you two always naked every trip we take?" Liam huffed as the two shrugged. "Well, we could just start right now." Leo began tugging at his shorts. "NO!" the group resounded. "Hey guys, I seen a huge fireworks tent down the street. We should go check it out." Maxwell walked outside where the group had converged, a glass of purple liquid in hand. "Maxwell, what do you have there?" Drake eyed him suspiciously. "Just some punch." He shrugged, giving the girls a look.

One by one the girls made their way inside sneaking drinks of maxwell's punch. Once they reached a nice buzz they decided to venture off into DC. They watched a parade, sampled some summertime staples including funnel cake and deep fried oreos. There was a carnival being held and they would have a fireworks display at night fall. "Oh! The zipper. I loved that ride." They eyed the caged ride "how's your tummy feeling Gen?" Pam gave her a look. "It's good, let's do this shit!"

"Are you sure darling? This doesn't look safe." Rashad voiced his concern. "Psh, safe shamafe. This shit is indestructible,it's probably like 40 years old." Anitah snorted.

"Yeah because everyone wants to ride a 40 year old death trap. No thanks Brooks." Drake held up his hands and shook his head. "Its ok Drake, I think the ferris wheel is calling our names." Pam winked at her husband, who then adjusted his pants.

Rashad looked at Genevieve, and then to the zipper swallowing audibly she took his hand and led him towards the ride. "It's gonna be ok Rashad. Do it for America." She smiled at him.

Maxwell had already been strapped in the seat and moved up Liam and Anitah also already on the ride in a cart halfway up. "Ok this doesn't seem to bad love." Liam leaned back as they slowly made their way up letting others on. "Oh it's great. Just wait until we really get going." She smirked. Liam arched his brow "what does that mean,my queen?"

"So how does this work exactly?" Leo asked Alicia. "Well, we basically go around in a circle, and flip upside down, a lot. You don't have a weak stomach do you Leo?"

"No. I can handle it. Liam on the other hand, he's going to puke or scream. Maybe both." He chuckled. "My money's on both. Anitah is going to laugh at him." Alicia giggled.

"You know Love, thing we haven't done yet." He gave her the signature Rhys smirk "oh. Shit. Leo." She jerked as she felt his long fingers slip between her legs.

"Gen, love. I'm not so sure about this. Why does it move like that?" Rashad began to panic. "It's supposed to move like that. Just calm down, it's gonna be so much fun." She patted his leg. "It's supposed to sound like it needs 4 quarts of oil on the rickety old Metal?" Genevieve let out a high pitched squeal. "This is going to be so much fun. If you piss your pants, I will laugh at you." Suddenly the ride jerked and picked up speed, their cart reached the top as it flipped over. Rashad let out a long girlish scream as they plummeted upside down towards the ground.

"Oh my god. Oh my god im gonna diiiiie." Liam screamed as Anitah laughed uncontrollably. She wasn't sure if it was the thrill of the ride, or Liam's girlish screams but she was definitely enjoying herself. "Oh god. Noooooo. Help me!" He screamed again, joining Rashad in fear stricken symphony.

The ride came to an end Liam ran to the nearest trash can, head inside as he puked. "Told you he would puke." Leo laughed as Anitah stood next to her husband, giving him a sympathetic pat on the back as the other hand gave him bunny ears for a photo.

A dizzy Rashad stumbled off the ride "see baby. That wasn't so bad." Genevieve looked at Rashad who was pale faced. "That was." He retched "I just…" His hand flew over his face as he bolted towards the trash can next to Liam.

"Looks like those two couldn't handle the ride huh?" Drake snorted as he and Pam approached the group. "Nope. Hey how come you two didn't ride? Scared Drake?" Alicia teased. "He wasn't scared. We just, had other plans." Pam blushed as Drake pulled her into his side. "Why are your pants unbuttoned?" Anitah questioned, before going wide eyed in realization. "How about we go back to the house, and get this party started." Leo Spoke up.

"For once, I agree with my brother. I've had enough of this." Liam spit into the trash can. "Wait. Where's Maxwell?"

"Maxwell. Max." They called, and he didn't come. "He will find his way back. Lets just go." Drake took Pam's hand "Drake, were in Washington, not Cordonia how's he going to find his way?" Anitah folded her hands across her chest. "He's like a damn puppy brooks. He will find his way home, now come on." Drake grunted as Anitah finally gave in.

Back at the house Drake and Leo ran to the store, returning a short while later with a few cases of beer and some liquor and wine. Still no sign of Maxwell. "I'm gonna call him." Alicia pulled her phone out and dialed his number, they heard it ringing inside. "Looks like he left his phone behind." Rashad lifted the phone off the counter. "I hope he is ok. Maybe we should call the police?" Pam worried, it wasn't like Maxwell to stray so far from the group.

Finally Maxwell came sauntering in, hands full of bags. "Maxwell!" Anitah shouted as she wrapped him in a hug "where the hell have you been?" She slapped his arm. "Ouch, hey little blossom that hurt!" He rubbed his arm "I went to the fireworks tent. Look at all the cool stuff I got. "I'll be taking these." Drake reached out to grab the bags, Maxwell recoiled defensively, clutching the explosives to his chest. "No, these are mine. Don't take my toys away Drake."

"Maxwell, let me see what you have." Leo walked over sorting through the bag. "Um Maxwell, most of these are illegal in DC. Where did you even get these?" Maxwell smiled, oh I took an Uber to Virginia. "Ok Maxwell. You can have these and these." Liam held him out a box of sparklers and some fountains. "The rest, were putting up." He handed the bags to Bastian.

"Yeah, can you imagine Maxwell with a damn mortar? He would blow up the damn shed over there." Drake chuckled, and then shook his head.

The night went on, the group getting drunker by the minute. Liam sat perched up on the steps of the pool, wearing American flag swim trunks and a stars and stripes bandana around his head. "Woooooo 'Merica!" He hollered as the group around him screamed " 'MERICA" back. Genevieve and Anitah danced on the picnic table in their skimpy bikinis, beers in hand. Alicia and Leo were busy in the corner. hands all over each other while Rashad and Maxwell played a game of washers.

"Hey, look what fell out of the bag." Pam beamed as she walked over with a small box. "The singing lotus?" Drake looked at it. "Huh. Looks like it plays the star spangled banner, when you light it." He pulled the content from the box and sat it on the patio next to the pool, carefully lighting the fuse and backing away.

The fireworks began to spin, sparks of red, gold and blue shot from the center while it played a very distorted version of the star spangled banner. "Oh my god. My ears, make it stop." Genevieve shouted as she held her hands over her ears.

Alicia stood up, momentarily stepping away from Leo and began to belt out the song.

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

Gen and Anitah stopped dancing, and began to sing along. Pam joining in as well.

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

"Play ball!" Anitah and Alicia said in unison. They looked at the burned out dilapidated flower. "Man that was a sad excuse for a firework. " drake mumbled "Just look at it." The group looked down at the melted heap of plastic and soot.

As the night went on and the sun went down, the group were pretty drunk. Pam and Drake disappeared into the pool shed, Anitah and Genevieve continued to dance and sing on the picnic table while Rashad and Liam looked on. Leo and Alicia ended up in the pool together, while nobody noticed Maxwell had snuck off again. Anitah had convinced Liam to let her paint his face in the American Flag, so he just sat there arm slung over the chair, red white and blue face with a Budweiser in hand.

Rashad started to babble, staring straight ahead. He made no sense whatsoever and the only thing he could do was point. "Rashad, what the hell are you trying to say. Spit it out." Genevieve snapped. Finally climbing down from the picnic table she stood in front of him waving her hands in front of his face "helllooooo?" "Shiminag hemmeinah. Ah ma tha…" he babbled.

Suddenly a firework whizzed past Liam's head and exploded against the pool shed. "Run for cover." Liam screamed as he dove into the pool. Rashad still standing there dumbfounded Genevieve tried with all her might to pull him away, but he wouldn't budge. "I love you, but I don't feel like getting blown up." She yelled taking Anita's hand and jumping into the pool.

"What the fuck is going on out here?" Pam snapped as she and a Drake stumbled out of the shed. Another firework crashed into the shed, pam screamed and ran into the pool. Drakes pants fell around his ankles as he tried to run, he kicked them off and joined his wife in the pool.

Fireworks were flying dangerously low, explosions everywhere as Maxwell sensed the sudden danger and ran for cover under the porch. Alicia and Leo obvious to the Chao ensuing around them, continued to have sex in the corner of the pool. Alicia opened her eyes looking above her. "Leo. I see fireworks." She gasped. "I know baby. I have that effect. " she smirked as he thrust into her. "No, you ass. The fucking back yards a war zone." She tapped his shoulder, and pointed to the disaster area. Leo loomed around the pool, their friends and family screaming. Bastien on the phone with the fire company, deftly ducked under a bottle rocket headed straight for his head. "Beaumont, when I get my hands on you." Bastien shouted. "Im sorry bas. I didn't mean to light all the fuses." Maxwell shouted back.

Dark smoke plummeted from the pool shed where Pam was giving Drake a blow job, just moments prior. "Hope they got insurance " Leo joked as he and Alicia swam up to the group. Liam rolled his eyes taking not of their nude forms. "Where the hell are your clothes?" He held back a snicker. He wasn't three sheets to the wind drunk, he would have been more annoyed at the situation at hand.

"Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave…" Alicia began to sing. "This again?" Drake rolled his eyes. "Just sing along Walker." Pam kissed his lips.

"O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!" The group sang along, just as the fire company rushed in putting the shed out.

The following Monday Liam walked into the council meeting, shoulders back, head held high. The hushed whispers began to circulate the room as Liam cleared his throat. "Shall we begin?" After the meeting a young council member approached him. "Your majesty, please may I speak freely?" Liam nodded "of course Lord Nicholas. And its Liam."

"Liam. Why Is there a faded Flag on your face?" Liam hung his head and shook it, recalling the past weekend's antics. Sighing loudly, he lifted his head. "Nick. Have you ever been to America on the 4th of July?"

Tag List: @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @laniquelove-blog @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @rainbowsinthestorm @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lynne1993 @coldcollectornight08 @be-still-my-aching-heart @kennaxval @the-soot-sprite @hopefulmoonobject @emichelle @cgd03 @kate-mckenzie @mfackenthal @crookedslimecreatorpasta @jemrmax2love @sashatrr @ao719 @cocomaxley @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom

#cgw trr au #cgw trr #cgw squad #cordonians gone wild #liam x anitah #Leo x Alicia #rashad x genevieve #drake x pam #drake walker #liam rhys #leo rhys #maxwell beaumont #rashad domvallier #bastien lykel

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danscape · 5 years ago

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Annapurna Circuit - Day 4 - Dharapani to Chame - 23/10/2018

8.8 Miles

5 Hours 30 Mins Walking + 1 Hour for Lunch

Starting Elevation 1914m

Finish Elevation 2700m

Our fourth day on the circuit revealed some of the most interesting surroundings on the whole trek. Leaving behind the warm lush lowlands we experienced the changes in vegetation and landscape as we continued to climb upwards. Finally, I had enjoyed a good nights sleep and the start of the day boded well. Clear skies and burst of warm light illuminating the peaks visible from our guesthouse. Another banana porridge breakfast down we settled the bill and took the few steps back to the village and the main road.

Groups of trekkers were already making their way up the road, some of them now familiar and mixed in with the odd passing jeep and groups of porters. We followed the road for an hour or so making a gradual climb as the sun rose into the valley. It was slow going as I often stopped and turned around to take in the light creating beautiful silhouettes behind us.

We soon reached signposts for Manang marking footpaths that headed into the woods. We weren’t really sure about the best option here, but we were keen to get off the road where possible. It seemed like most of the porters were following the path through the woods and they must know best so we followed.

It turned out to be one of the best sections of the whole trek. The woodland was coloured in the beautiful shades of early autumn colours. It reminded me of the Scottish woodland near Glen Affric but with a much higher density of trees, more lichen and of course it was much warmer. It was a steep climb by this point, and the shade of the trees was welcome to keep the air a little cooler. It was a section of the walk I didn’t really want to end and we took our time to enjoy the surroundings. Eventually, the mountains started to appear again as the path emerged above the tree line. The trees reached out and formed silhouettes against the distant mountains. A textural view that seemed to be mirror the gift shop book covers where the mountains loom over the outlines of trees. I took some time to try and find compositions through the trees before we walked on into Tanhchok as I felt this was one of the most photogenic parts of the route.

Timang sprawled out in a clearing on either side of the road and we emerged to meet trekkers and jeeps who had taken the road. We had only been on the trail for a couple of hours but as we had made good time decided to have a brunch stop and enjoy the view. The view from the roof of the Prasanna Hotel and Lodge was something special. Looking back across the trees the scale of the woodland rising and falling along mountain valleys came into view. Down the valley a view of Manaslu at over 8000m dominated everything around us. The perfect setting to enjoy some pancakes and chai tea in the sun.

Sad to leave the relaxing surroundings and mountain view behind it was time to move on up the trail. Walking through the village it was still tempting to keep glancing back at Manaslu as each time the clouds moved the light shifted and the mountain revealed something new.

The path took us through the outskirts of the village through crop fields past wooden barns and even over a wooden stile, a familiar sight on a UK walk but I think the only stile we encountered on the Annapurna. As we passed through small villages there was the familiar sight of colourful gardens and the locals out tending to them. For the most part, we were now walking in the open above the tree line, occasionally dropping down to cross a bridge before climbing up again into the open. At our feet, a small dog had joined us leading the way along the trail. Above us, the blue started to fade from the sky as light clouds piled up between the mountains.

We arrived at Koto in the early afternoon and queued up at the checkpoint to have our permits checked and logged. There was a hive of activity here with plenty of trekkers and locals going about their business before moving on towards Chame. Shortly after Koto we had to cross a short section of the trail at risk of rockfall. I watched as the hillside lose stones a few inches in size came alive every now and again. There was no pattern, no shaking of the earth or noise just the occasional stones hurtling across the path. I made sure to get across this section as quickly as possible.

The rest of the afternoon went quickly, Ryan professed his admiration and love for Kanye West, proclaiming him a misunderstood genius. This sparked some lively debate to pass the time as we walked back on the dusty road and into Chame.

We reached Chame in the early afternoon so had plenty of time to try and find the best guesthouse offering and maybe try out the hot pools. We tried a couple of guesthouses that had been recommended to us but they were already full so in the end, we made a full loop of Chame before booking into the Hotel New Shangri-La and sitting down for lunch.

The usual noodle soup was served with tea and a few packs of Oreos. The clouds that had been building up now decided to shed their load with a heavy shower of rain rattling the tin roof of the dining room. From our cosy seats, we watched trekkers arrived in the village completed soaked through and were thankful for our timing today.

The sunset on this evening was one of the most spectacular memories from the whole trek. The storm cleared just before sunset and as I glanced out of my bedroom window the mountains were glowing in shades of pink and orange. Rushing to the next room I shouted to Ryan to come and watch the sunset which was the most dramatic of the whole trek. It lasted for a few minutes before fading away. Time to layer up and head back to the dining room for dinner and a cold but comfortable evening.

#Nepal #Annapurna Circuit #Trekking #Himalayas #Photography #Travel Photography #Timang #chame #Tanchock #Dharapani

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drakefanfiction · 6 years ago

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Ex Factor Chapter 17

Aubrey’s Pov

As soon as I touched down in Toronto I had Spoons take my bags to the condo while I headed to my mom’s house with Cam. So far I haven’t told anyone about this whole thing with Ava’s miscarriage, but with everything going on I really need to talk to someone, so why not talk to the woman who knows me best. It was a silent ride through the city that I love so much, I couldn’t even fully take in the fact that I was home, because so much stuff was weighing on my conscience. I pulled into the driveway; before I could even cut the car off and get out, my mom was standing in the doorway. I couldn’t help but smile seeing her tiny frame, standing there like she was waiting for the school bus to drop me off. I got out of the driver side and went around to rear to unbuckle Cam and let him out of the car. As soon as my mom set her sights on him, her eyes lit up. She had no idea he was traveling with me.

“Is that my grandson? Get over here and give your Bubby a hug.” She spoke in nothing short of excitement. Cam ran towards my mom with open arms and she bent down to pick him up.

“Mom, he’s getting heavy I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” I told her. She keeps forgetting she’s not as young as she used to be. Cam’s almost half her height at his age already.

Like always my mom just brushed me off. “Oh relax, I’m gonna pick up my grandson as long as there’s enough strength in these old bones to do so.” She said; kissing him all over his face.

“Bubby, are you coming to my party?” Cam asked which reminded me book those costume characters like I told Raven I would a week ago.

“Of course, I’m coming. it’s not every day you turn 4.” She said with a smile. “Now what do you want for your birthday?”

“Cookies!” Cam shouted without giving it any thought. He thinks he’s slick, I just took his pack of Oreos from him on the ride over because he was cutting up.

“Well you’re in luck. I have some in the kitchen and they’re all yours.”

“Just one mom. If he gets hyped up he’s spending the night with you.” I told her as they walked off.

“Don’t threaten us with a good time.” My mom replied back over her shoulder. She didn’t know I was serious; the moment he starts bouncing off of the walls I’m bringing him right back over here with his grandmother.

While they were in the kitchen I stayed behind in the living room looking around at all of the pictures on the wall. She’s added a few since I’ve last been here. I think the photos of my son was starting to outnumber the ones she has of me, which I’m not gonna lie I was feeling some type of way about that. I looked at the ones she had above the fire place, my baby picture was right beside Cam’s; everyone calls him my twin but I never realized it until now. Looking at these photos just reminds how much my life has changed for the better. Being a father is the best thing that ever happened to me, so this miscarriage has really been weighing heavy on my mind. Having kids with Ava was never even a thought that crossed my mind; hell. we were nowhere near ready for that, but I would’ve accepted and loved my son or daughter nonetheless. I guess we’ll never know.

“So, what’s with the face?” I turned around and saw my mom standing there watching me with this look on her face that said, she’s about to dig into my business and I have no choice in the matter. She walked over to the couch taking a seat and patted the empty space beside her. “Come on Aubrey, I can tell when something is going on with you. Did you and Raven get into another argument?” She asked. Raven was the only woman that could make me go running to my mom, but in this case she wasn’t the cause.

“Actually, things with me and Raven are better than ever. We’re in a good space and I want to keep it that way.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“Do you remember Ava, the girl I introduced you to back in September?”

She thought about it for a moment and shrugged her shoulders. “Vaguely, Aubrey you know I can’t keep up with you and the women that come in and out of your life. I’m too old and too tired.”

“Well, she just told me that she was pregnant with my child and had a miscarriage.” The moment those words left my lips, my mom’s face went completely ghost. Her jaw dropped, I could tell she was thrown all the way off, because I just had the same reaction only hours ago.

“Oh my god.” Was all she said. We just sat there in silence as I waited for her to gather her next words. “Wow, Aubrey, I don’t even know what to say. Baby that’s terrible news. That poor girl must be going through it; how far along was she?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to meet up with her later, so we can talk. I just feel bad because had I known she was pregnant…”

“You wouldn’t have tried to fix your relationship with Raven.” She finished for me, and I’m not gonna lie, the thought did cross my mind for a brief moment. My mom grabbed my chin, turning my face to look her in the eyes. “Aubrey listen to me; now I’ve sat back and watched you toy with girl after girl for years now, and I’ve never said anything. You were young and having your fun, and had too much of your father in you I guess, but the time for games is over. You’re getting older, and you have a son idolizing your every move. It’s time for you to be a man, make a choice and stick by that choice. You can’t keep bouncing from bed to bed. It’s not right for you to keep stringing women along; especially the mother of your child. Your father did it to me, and I’ll be damned if I watch you do it to someone else.” She snapped on me out of nowhere. I couldn’t help but to see the hurt and disappointment in her eyes. My dad was still a sensitive subject to her. To even think that she sees the two of us in the same light makes me feel like I let her down somehow.

“Mom, you know I love Raven and all I ever wanted was a second a chance and she's finally ready to give me that; I’m not going to jeopardize it. I just wish I had handled this situation with Ava better, that’s all. I’m not out here making the same mistakes as my father.” I assured her. Going down my dad’s path wasn’t an option. I could never disappoint Cam the way my dad disappointed me.

“That’s good to know; Raven’s a good woman and a great mother so don’t screw that up any further than what it already is.” She said, giving my cheek what was supposed to be light slap, but still stung a little. “So… does Raven know about the miscarriage?” She added, waiting patiently for my response. I lifted my head to look at her and my expression must’ve said it all because one look in my eyes had her shaking her head. “Aubrey, don’t start with the secrets again.”

“Look mom, I’ll talk to her about it after I sit down with Ava. I don’t even know if she would want Raven knowing about this.”

“I can understand that, but Raven’s legally your wife now whether the two of you want to acknowledge it or not. If you really want to start your relationship with Raven with a clean slate, then you have to be honest with her. What if the shoe was on the other foot and Raven was pregnant with another guy’s child? Even if she didn’t have the baby you would still want to know.” I thought about what she was saying, and my mom did have valid a point. I’d be pissed if found out that Raven was pregnant by another man and on top of that, didn’t tell me about it. “You don’t have to take my advice son, but just think about it.”

The sound of my phone going off interrupted our conversation. I reached in the pocket of my jeans, pulling out to see Raven’s name across the screen for a facetime. I instantly got the cheesiest grin because I already knew what this call was about.

“Hey, what’s up?” I answered. “How’s your day so--”

“Is that Raven? Hi honey, how’ve you been?” My mom cut into the phone call, shouting in my ear, making it ring a little. I could tell my mom wanted to be a part of my private conversation, so I handed her the phone so she’d stop leaning over my shoulder.

“Hi mom! I’m hanging in there, works been keeping me busy.” Raven’s cheery voice responded.

“And keeping you away. It’s been too long sweetie, I want to see you soon.”

“You will, I promise.”

“Alright honey, I’ll let you and Aubrey talk before he throws a fit.” She said before getting up to check on Cam, who’s been super quiet in the kitchen this entire time.

As soon as my phone was out of ear shot, I got back to the call. “So, are you finished having a conversation with my mom?”

“Yes I am, now back to you. My dressing room is currently being filled with dozens upon dozens of roses; you wouldn’t happen to know who’s responsible for that, would you?” She asked knowingly.

“If I had to guess, I would say you have a secret admirer.” The fact that I could see all of the flowers cluttering the background of her room made me grin. I did that to make a statement while she’s off working with what’s his face. Just in case he forgets who she belongs to.

“You think you’re so smooth, don’t you?” Raven rolled her eyes trying to hide the smile on her face.

“The smoothest, but I thought you knew that by now.”

“No, but really, thank you for the flowers baby, I love them.”

“Baby? I see we’ve eased back into the pet name stage; you must miss me.”

“Maybe just a little bit, I just wish that I didn’t have to be in New York, I hate that I’m gonna miss the pre-opening.”

“You’re just disappointed because you’re missing out on the free food.”

“You know me so well.” She emailed, but then turned her head when someone called her name in the background. “They’re calling me on set, I have to go. Kiss my baby for me.”

“What about me?” Raven blew me a kiss and then hung up the FaceTime.Everything just feels right whenever I’m with her, or even when we’re just talking. It was starting to feel like when we first met, before all of the bullshit got between us.

------

After tying up a few loose ends for tomorrow’s opening, I took my mom and Cam out to dinner so she wouldn’t feel like she’s obligated to cook a big ass dinner for my first night back in town. The look on my mom’s face whenever she’s around Cam is worth more than any extravagant gift I could ever buy her. I think my greatest accomplishment to her, was giving her a grandson. Every now and then I feel a little guilty for being so far away from her most of the time. I’ve been thinking about moving back to Toronto, but that complicates things with Raven and Cam back in LA, and I’m not about to live 3000 miles away from my son. I’m just trying to make it my priority to visit her as often as possible. I couldn’t get Cam to leave her side. After we went out to eat, he didn’t even want to go back to the condo with me. Knowing all the junk my mom had line up at her house, going home with me wasn’t even in the question. He straight up told me he was spending the night with his grandmom. I didn’t have a problem with that; I was gonna end up asking my mom to watch him tonight anyway so that I could stop by Ava’s place and figure out what’s been going on with her lately.

Ava spent the entire day ignoring my phone calls; knowing exactly what I was calling her about. She knew I was going to be in Toronto so we could talk face to face, but now she's playing phone games. I chilled at my mom's house, waiting patiently for Ava to call me back or respond to my text. After about 20 minutes with no response, I checked my phone to see if I missed a text notification from her and saw that her ass read the message and chose not to reply back. Now she was getting on my nerves. I got up and grabbed my keys, intent on driving over to her apartment. She's not gonna just tell me she lost our child and go ghost on me.

After a 20 minute drive, I found myself at Ava's door. I knocked three times and waited; no answer. Her car was parked across the street so I know she's home. As I raised my hand to bang on the door, it opened. Ava stood there with her hand on her hips wearing a Maple Leafs jersey and a frown.

“I’m surprised you showed, I thought you'd be busy playing house with your baby mama... or is it wifey now?” She spoke as soon as she laid eye on me; no hello's at all. I knew what type of conversation this was about to be.

“Raven's not here with me. Do you plan on letting me in?” I asked while still standing in the hallway, hoping one of her neighbors wouldn't come out.

Ava stepped to the side, allowing me to enter. I looked around the place and it was a lot different from the last time i'd been here. It was pristine before, nothing out of place, not a spec in sight, but now there was pizza boxes and chinese takeout scattered in the living room. It was dark inside due to the curtains being pulled shut, not letting an inch of light in. I went over to the window, tripping on a shoe on my way over and let some sun in. Hearing a groan from behind me, I turned around to see Ava with her hand over her eyes.

“Why are you here bothering me? Shouldn't you be somewhere annoying Raven, or is there trouble in paradise already?” She asked as she flopped down on the sofa with a satisfied smirk on her face.

“You know why I'm here and it's not to talk about Raven.” I shot back, and the grin disappeared from her face.

“Aubrey, please tell me you didn't say anything about the miscarriage? I don't want her knowing my business.” She questioned, making me upset at how she was talking about everything but the situation at hand.

“She doesn't know about it, but I would be nice if I could get some details, like when did you find out you were pregnant in the first place, and why didn't you even tell me--"

“Aubrey, there was no miscarriage" I paused at Ava's words, looking at her sideways. Was she serious right now? "Listen, I was upset and I lied about it because I knew it would get you here.”

I was shocked. I couldn't do anything but stare at her in disbelief because this wasn't the girl I met on tour. “Are you fucking serious Ava, where did these games come from with you? Who lies about being pregnant and having a miscarriage?" I asked, waiting for a better explanation to justify her going that far, but she didn't say anything. Ava just got up from the couch and disappeared into one of the back rooms. Just as I was about to follow after her, she came out holding a white stick that she handed to me. "What is this?"

"That is a pregnancy test. I took it the night I got back to Toronto." My eyes stared down at the plus sign, feeling like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on me. Just like that, whatever relief I had in regard to this situation had washed away. "Aubrey, I never lied about being pregnant. I told you I had a miscarriage because I came very close to aborting our baby."

“Pregnant...” was on repeat in my head over and over while looking at that positive sign on the test. "Is it mine?" The words left my thoughts quicker than I intended and if looks could kill I'd be a dead man.

“Don't fucking insult me like that. You're the cheater in this relationship, not me." Ava snapped back, poking me in my chest. Clearly I hit a nerve. She tried walking away from me, so I grabbed her by the arm to stop her.

“Ava, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that." I sincerely apologized. Even though I was confused, not knowing what to think or feel right now, she was right about one thing; I was the only unfaithful one during our time together. "How far along are you?" I asked, trying to soften her up and break the ice wall she'd now built.

There was nothing but silence. She barely made eye contact with me before mumbling out, “8 weeks?”

“Are you still thinking about getting an abortion?” Her head snapped in my direction when I asked that question.

“What do you think? You looked me in my eyes and promised me that I wasn’t a rebound. You told me that it was me you wanted to be with and that you would never touch her again and it was all lies. You never cared about me!” She cried, and if it was possible I felt even more like a shitty guy than I did before. It was never my intention to hurt her like this.

“That’s not true Ava, I did care about you; I still do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. Just tell me what you need from me. What do you want me to do?” I asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Ava was always so strong and confident, seeing her breakdown like this really had me feeling guilty knowing that my actions are the cause. She leaned in to kiss me, but I leaned back, placing my hands on her shoulders to stop her. “That, I can’t do.”

Her eyes, still fresh with tears widened from rejection. “You asked me what I need, and that’s you. Aubrey I really need you here with me right now.” Ava spoke in a cracked soft voice that made me want to fix everything and hold her, but I couldn't lead her on or have her get the wrong idea.

“I’m here, but not in that way. I'm going to be there every step of the way for you and the baby, but we can't be together... I'm sorry.” I spoke truthfully, leaving no blurred lines. Her touch slowly faded away and I could feel the energy in the room shift. She wouldn't look me in the eyes, but I could tell the tears started again. Ava went back over to the couch to sit down, and I followed taking a seat beside her. “Listen, I don't want you hating me, especially since we're going to be raising a child together. I’m having a celebration for my restaurant opening tomorrow, and I really want you to come.”

She shook her head no, not even giving it a thought. “I’m really not up for that Aubrey.”

“You need to get out of the house, it’s just one night... please.” I didn't feel right leaving Ava all alone in this apartment in her current state. A part of me wanted to do something to cheer her up and keep an eye on her at the same time.

She huffed under her breath, shaking her head from side to side. “I don’t know Aubrey, I don't have anything to wear.” She argued back, but this time sounding a little less reluctant.

I turned her chin to face me, “You let me handle that, just be ready tomorrow night by 8:00 PM. I’ll have a car pick you up.” I got up from the couch, pulling Ava up with me and into a hug before leaving.

When I got in my car reality set in. I was going to have another kid, but not with Raven. I don’t know how I’m going to break this to her. When we agreed to start over, we also agreed on cutting our ex’s off. How am I supposed to do that when Ava is carrying my child? Hell, how am I even going to expect Raven to stick around after she finds out. I know one thing is certain, I need to tell her as soon as I get back to LA before the word gets out and she hears it from someone else.

------

Raven’s Pov

It was 4:00 AM when I was rushed out of my bed by Alex so I could get on set and into hair and makeup. I was already exhausted from the 16 hours of filming we did yesterday, and with only 4 hours of sleep I was now needed to get back in character. After I showered and threw on a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt and my sneakers to meet Alex who was waiting at the hotel room door looking half sleep himself holding two Starbucks cups in hand. I grabbed my java chip frapp, and we both headed out the door.

We were met in the hall by the security guard that MGM hired to escort me around the city safely. I usually don’t like having security guards because I don’t like the idea of strangers following me around, but with this guy, he’s so quiet and stealthy, I barely know he’s there. He led Alex and I down the elevator and through the kitchen where we made our exit to the black Tahoe that was waiting outside in the alley. The security guard opened the rear passenger door for me and as soon as he did I came face to face with Ari getting almost an instant headache. He just grinned and patted the empty seat beside him. I rolled my eyes as I climbed in, knowing I was in for a long ride ahead of me.

“I knew this was going to happen. What did I tell you? I told you not to breakup with him in the first place or at least wait until after the movie wrapped. That’s bad business.” Ari’s lecture started in Center City and continued on half way through to Delaware County.

I just rested my head against the window trying to tune him out. It’s way too early in the morning for this, but I knew what I was in for the moment I laid eyes on him, especially after what happened on set yesterday. The tension was so thick between Michael and I yesterday that it could be felt by the entire crew. On top of that, he wouldn’t speak one word to me and his attitude and my frustration began to show in our performances which caused the director to chew both of our heads off. I knew it was a matter of time before I heard from Ari, but what I wasn’t expecting was for him to get on the turnpike and drive to Philly to yell at me.

“Are you even listening to me Raven?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I forgot my headphones back at the hotel.” I responded causing Alex to chuckle from the front seat. I glanced up at him with a smile of my own.

“I’m glad you two think this is funny.” Ari replied, with not one hint of playfulness in his voice I finally sat up, turning in my seat to hear him out. “Raven, Michael is a leading man in this business, you're now a leading lady and there's nothing like a power couple; take and Will and Jada for example, they're Hollywood gold. These exec’s love shit like that. The studio was banking on using your relationship to promote the movie.”

“You know I don’t do publicity stunts, that’s not even my style, besides my personal life has nothing to do with my professional.”

“Everything has to do with the professional, and I need you to get that through your head. Your life is on display for public consumption so we have to keep it in order, and the moves you’ve been making lately isn’t good for you. I don’t think that now is a good time to reconcile with Drake, and honestly speaking, you can do better than-”

“Can we not make this about Aubrey? I get it, you don’t like him, but at the end of the day, it’s still my life.” He finally put his hands up, backing off of the subject. “Now, I’ll talk to Michael so we can try and get through this last day of filming without any drama.”

After my talk with Ari, I knew that I had to bite the bullet and make things right with Michael. I sat in my trailer deep in thought while my hair stylist went on and on about drama within the hair and makeup department. Normally her entertaining gossip would be the highlight of my morning, but I couldn’t get past how I was going to fix the mess I’ve made because we certainly couldn’t have another day like yesterday. I stared blankly into the mirror as my braids were being touched up knowing this wasn’t going easy. The last time Michael and I had a conversation, to say it ended badly would be an understatement. He was deep in his feelings and had every right to be. There was a tap on the door, shaking me from my thoughts. I told whoever it was to enter and the door cracked opened revealing one of the PA’s.

“Ryan needs her in wardrobe in 10.” He spoke to the hairstylist letting her know to wrap up the gossip so I can get into my outfit for the first scene.

I smiled at her dramatic eye roll knowing full well she was going to keep running her mouth, and that she did. I eventually made it out of hair and changed over into my clothes that the wardrobe stylist laid out for me. Once my look was completed I tried to focus on putting myself in the mindset of Bianca, which was somewhat difficult when I was having trouble dealing with being Raven.

As I waited for the crew to finish setting up, I made my way over to the craft service table to grab a bite to eat. There was some mini breakfast quiche that the chef made every morning and I swear I could eat these things all day. I stacked a few on my plate along with some fruit with plans to head back to my trailer and run lines with Alex, but I noticed that the butter cake was just set out. This was like Michael’s favorite thing in the world! I remember when we first started filming and the crew devoured the cake before he could get any, he had a pout on his face that whole day. I thought he was just joking, but he went straight to the caterer after we wrapped and requested that whenever there was butter cake, a piece be set aside for him. Thinking back on that, I asked one of the PA’s to take my food to my trailer as I took the cake to his, hoping for it to be a peace offering.

Walking pass the bustling crew on set, I made it to his trailer which was right next mine and knocked twice on the door. I waited a few seconds and just as I was about to knock again I heard his faint voice telling me to come in. I opened the door and stepped inside, just as he was stepping out of the bathroom shirtless in just his Creed shorts. He paused in his tracks for a second looking confused as to why I was standing in his room, but that soon faded when he shook his head and brushed right passed me to go sit on the couch in front of the TV to watch

whatever was on the screen, with the purpose to ignore me.

“Good morning…” I said as I walked closer to him, of course there was no response. “Craft just set some cake out and it’s still hot. I grabbed a slice for you before the sound crew attacked it.” I held the small plate out to him, but he just left my hand dangling in the air. I set the plate down on the table and stepped in front of him blocking his view. “So is this how it’s going to be, you not talking to me for the rest of the shoot?”

“This is the last day of filming, I think I can manage.” He placed his hand on my hip moving me to the side.

“Michael there’s clearly tension between us and I rather we talk about it, than be chastised by Ryan again.”

“Raven what do you want me to say that hasn’t already been said?”

“Everything!” I shouted and snatched the remote from him to turn the tv off. “Tell me how you feel, get mad, yell at me, anything but this cold unbothered attitude that you have. Even though we’re not together, I still want us to be on good terms.”

Michael jumped up from the couch, his face showing every bit of angry emotion I was asking for, that I suddenly began to regret. “No, what you want is for me to tell you that everything is okay, that we can still be friends even though you cheated on me and lied to me. You want me to ease your conscience and that’s not gonna happen. So unless it has something to do with this movie, you and I don’t have a damn thing to talk about.” He shouted in a tone that I’m sure echoed outside of this room.

His nostrils flared as chest heaved up and down and those brown eyes of his that were locked on me were on fire, but through it all I could see the hurt that he was trying to shield from me. My eyes began to water standing there in the midst of this whole mess that I created. Michael let out a frustrated groan and stormed back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I did the same as I exited his trailer only to be met by several staring eyes.

The remainder of the day went on in pure agony, but I’ll tell you one thing; Michael is one hell of an actor because as soon as action was yelled he got right into character and had me feeling like we didn’t just have a blow up. When that final cut was shouted, it was officially a wrap on Creed. Everyone was all smiles, hugging and taking photos but I noticed that Michael just walked off, back to the seclusion of his trailer.

After wrapping things up, I made my way back to my own trailer; I wasn’t much in the celebrating mood either. I was greeted by Alex with a bouquet of roses, which I had more than enough of thanks to Aubrey.

“Congratulations, now we can get back to the sunshine!” Alex beamed. He was over this unpredictable east coast weather. “The driver is waiting to take you back to the hotel so you can get ready for the wrap party.”

The studio put together a party at a bowling alley for the cast and crew but I wasn’t in the mood to put on fake smiles. “I’m not going. I don’t feel like dealing with cameras tonight.” I said as I gathered my belongings from the vanity and stuffed them in my tote.

“Don’t feel like dealing with the cameras, or don’t feel like dealing with Michael?” Alex replied in his usual snarky manner, but this time it got got on my last nerve.

“Alex, I’m really not in the mood for your comments today, so keep it to yourself.”

Alex clutched his invisible pearls, leaning back in his chair. “Sheesh, I’m sorry, don’t bite my head off.” He replied, and didn’t say another word about Michael.

I headed back to the hotel while Alex went on to the party which was fine by me; I could go without his jokes for a few hours. It was late; around 11PM and I wanted to talk to my baby so bad, but I knew he was sleeping, so instead I took a nice hot shower and snuggled into my fuzzy white robe. I plopped down on the king sized bed in my suite and flipped through the tv channels, landing on Family Guy. When the commercial break came I decided to call room service and order up one last free meal on the studio since I was checking out in the morning.

I was in the middle of laughing at Stewie beat up Brian when I heard knocking at my door. “Just a second.” I said as I grabbed my wallet from the nightstand to tip for the room service, and rushed to the door. I opened it, only to be surprised by Michael standing there with his hands stuffed in the pocket of his jean. “Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked as I looked around the hall making sure no one was out there to see him. I didn’t need a story on the blogs in the morning.

“You wanted to talk, so I’m here. Let’s talk.” Michael stated firmly as he invited himself in.

Now staring at an empty hallway, I closed the door and followed him into the living room of the suite. “Michael, it’s late. Can we do this another time--”

“I just need to ask you a question, and you have to answer it, honestly.” Michael blurted out, catching me off guard. If it was going to help ease the tension between us and stop him from hating me, I was more than open to answering his question.

“Okay, what do you want to know?” I took a deep breath, waiting for whatever he was about to hit me with.

“I need to know was it real, what you and I had, or was I just something to keep you busy?” He asked sincerely, and effectively making me feel even crappier than I did before.

“Michael I wouldn’t have introduced you to my son if I didn’t think what we had was something real. Any woman in her right mind would jump at the chance to be with you.” I tried to assure him, but he just shook my words off.

“If that’s the case then what is your problem? Was it something I did? Something I didn’t do? I need to know.” His brown eyes pleaded with mine for answers that I couldn't really give without hurting him even further. “Are you pushing me away because you los-”

“No.” I cut him off immediately. “It’s none of that. You were perfect. You are perfect. It’s just that… I don’t know. Everything with us just happened so fast. I do care about you, but the way my relationship with Aubrey ended I always felt like we left things unfinished and I never actually tried giving this whole family thing a chance.”

“So you’re saying you’re only going back to him because of your son?” He questioned, and it sounded too much like a statement for my liking.

“That’s not what I said.”

“Well, that’s what it sounds like.”

“Well it’s not.” I argued back sounding more like a child than I'd like to admit.

Michael cracked a smirk, stepping closer to me. “That's too bad I don’t believe you.” He said as his body language switched up on me. “Look, I don’t know what kind of history you and Drake have, but I do know that for you to walk away the first time, he had to do something stupid to hurt you; something that I would never imagine doing as long as you’re mine. I know that when we were together I can’t think of one moment you went without a smile; except for when I made love to you.” The gentle, yet smooth tone of his voice mixed with extremely close proximity and cologne sent tingles through my body, in areas that it shouldn't have. I tried looking away so he wouldn't catch me blushing, but Michael placed his hand on my chin, giving me no choice but to make eye contact. “Raven, all I wanted was a chance to replace the smile that he took away; and if you can’t see that, then I don’t know what else to say.” He moved in even closer, leaving my body no choice but to be pressed against the wall and himself, and before I could blink, his lips were pressed against mine. When he pulled back, there was a smile on his face and twinkle in his eyes. “Since you say I never make the first move.” He spoke, throwing my previous words back at me. I was frozen; completely stuck. This wasn't the man that was yelling at me a few hours ago. Michael's hand caressed my cheek, leaning in to kiss me again, but this time I put my hands on his chest to stop him.

“Michael, I can’t. You have to go, now.” firmly as I could. I just starred at me for a moment, as if he was trying to gaged how serious I was. After about a five second stared down, his hand left my cheek and he backed away.

“I get it. I'm gonna give you your space to figure yourself out, but just know that I'm not going anywhere because you and I both know you're making a mistake.” He spoke looking me dead in the eyes, before saying good night.

As soon as the door closed, my body sunk against it. Where the hell did that come from? I know where I want to be and who I want to be with, but Michael's really making this whole thing harder than it has to be with this recent switch up. Why can't life be simple, and why the hell did I let him kiss me? I don't want to entertain whatever possibilities he has in his head for us, other than friendship. I went back into the bedroom to get my phone and call Alex. Knowing him, he was still at the party.

The phone rang three times before he answered with loud music in the background. “Hey Alex, I need you to book me a flight to Toronto.” I shouted over the music.

“Why are you leaving so soon? What about the cast brunch tomorrow?” He questioned, but I wasn't about to go into detail about everything over the blaring music.

“Alex, please, just book the first flight and text me the details as soon as it's confirmed." I hung up, not giving him a chance to respond back. I really needed to get out of this hotel and away from Michael. The two of us being close together clearly isn't healthy to our situation, and besides, I was missing Cam and Aubrey far too much. This just gave me an excuse to skip the brunch and surprise Aubrey at his restaurant opening.

#drakefanfiction #drake #drake fanfic #Aubrey Graham #Aubrey Drake Graham #The Ex Factor #Catching Feelings #sorry for the wait #hope you like this!#chapter 17 #if you like it theres more

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fraink5-writes · 7 years ago

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Human Qualification- Chapter 17

February 14

For such a special occasion, I present you with fluff (and, of course, existential dread)!

As always, I want to thank @missmizpah @gracieuxetoile and @deathly-oreos for reading it over!

Summary: To slowly lose all your functions until you are nothing but a trapped mind in a deteriorated shell, that’s what it means to be ‘No Longer Human.’

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Dazai woke up to a cold silence. Where Chuuya would normally lie, the bed was empty. There was a notable difference—the bed felt spacier but colder. The apartment felt emptier too; if Chuuya wasn’t pressed warmly against Dazai, he was normally moving around the apartment, a tune on his lips more often than not. But, it was silent. Chuuya must have went out.

Sure enough, there was a note on the nightstand: ‘Dazai, I’m going out. I should be back soon (probably). See you then! -Chuuya.’ The vague contents of the note weren’t all that reassuring. Where did he go? And what did “probably” mean? It’s not that Dazai minded Chuuya going out—in fact, he was glad (Chuuya seemed miserable at home). But, normally, Chuuya would tell Dazai where he was going, and even invite him along (depending on the day, Dazai would accept or decline). That morning, Dazai had no idea where Chuuya was—and he was stuck in his bed.

Dazai couldn’t move—not enough for it to matter. Sure, he could wave his left arm, crane his neck, and, if he really wanted an abdominal work-out, he might have been able to sit upright. But his right arm was useless, and so were his legs. Dazai was prisoner in his own bed, and there was a weighted ball tied around his ankles, except his legs were actually the weight. They weren’t entirely dead and detached; they had just enough sensation to ache. Their muffled screams urged Dazai to roll onto his side, to take their own weight off them—but that was impossible.

Dazai leaned back into his stack of pillows, making his legs groan. He stared reluctantly at the ceiling. How horribly dirty… Dust and dirt hung down like failed stars on an inverted sky. Slowly more particles came into view as his eyes fine-tuned their focus. 1, 2, 3, 4… Dazai was stranded alone in his sordid world; everything else seemed light years away.

Eventually, unwanted thoughts would creep into the empty space. They emerged from Dazai’s useless limbs, like insects feasting on his slow decay. He couldn’t resist them—he couldn’t move. And that was the problem. Dazai was useless without his wheelchair, and what good was his wheelchair without Chuuya to lift him in and out everyday? Without them, Dazai could do nothing.

Dazai was half-alive, half-dead, and he wasn’t sure which side he wanted to be on. If this was living—lying alone, counting the dust bunnies on the ceiling—Dazai wanted nothing to do with it. If living meant leeching off Chuuya’s pity like a parasite, then he wanted to stop. But if this was death—lying alone with pain as your only companion—Dazai was repulsed. If dying meant being stripped of all his power and left vulnerable, then he rejected it. Even if he wanted neither, somehow being in the middle was so much worse. He was caught in a tug-of-war between life and death; neither side wanted him, but they wouldn’t give him up, tearing at him relentlessly.

“Hey, Dazai.” At least temporarily, the struggle subsided: Chuuya had finally returned. Briefly, his faint smile seemed to outpower the dark shadows below his eyes. “Sorry if I kept you waiting long.”

“Where’d you go?”

Chuuya held his finger to his lips. “It’s a secret. Now, do you want me to help you out of there?”

“Yes, please.” Dazai tried to wear his nicest smile despite the overall feeling of dread. Even if Chuuya was strong, he seemed worn out from constantly lifting Dazai to and from his wheelchair.

Nevertheless, Chuuya moved Dazai swiftly with ease. “I hope you’re feeling lively today. I have something special planned.” Once again, his body language seemed to betray him.

“Wait—why?”

“What do you mean ‘why?’ It’s Valentine’s Day.”

Huh?

Dazai waited on the couch with increasing dread. His left hand—his empty left hand—fidgeted in his lap. Why was he empty-handed? Because he was a fool. Soon enough (too soon, in fact) Chuuya would return, and Dazai would have nothing to give him. As he waited, he wished he could make a gift (anything would suffice) appear in his hand.

“Why are you making such a weird face?” Chuuya plopped on the couch next to Dazai.

“Nothing,” Dazai faked a grin.

“This should make you smile. Here, for you.” Chuuya handed Dazai a red box, trying visibly to be casual.

Dazai wanted to be happy, but his guilt stood in the way. “Did you make these yourself?”

“Yeah, I made them. For you.” At this point, Chuuya facade had broken down, and blush took over his face. “Well, Ane-san helped. But I did most of the work.” Did Chuuya want to take credit or not…?

“Thank you, Tsuuya.” Dazai gave Chuuya his most sincere smile, which only seemed to fluster the redhead more.

“It was nothing, really.”

‘Nothing?’ If either of them did nothing, it was Dazai. He waited anxiously with nothing to give, nothing to say. What could he say? Chuuya, who had already been working so hard every day, had went out of his way, despite his exhaustion, to make chocolates for Dazai, and, in return, Dazai had forgot. Surely, Valentine’s Day was, at its core, a Western commercial holiday, but that only added to the list of reasons Dazai should have managed something. In return for all that Chuuya had done, Dazai couldn’t even do the most basic thing for him.

“Huh, Dazai, what’s wrong?” Dazai hadn’t realized Chuuya was staring at him. “I know I’m not the best cook, but I don’t think it could be that fucking bad to warrant such a reaction.”

Well, this is embarrassing. Dazai really preferred to be unreadable, especially in times like this. “It’s not that—not at all.” Dazai lowered his eyes. “I don’t have anything to give you.”

Suddenly, Chuuya burst out laughing like he hadn’t in weeks. “That’s what you were worried about? Oh my fucking god...”

“What?” The color of embarrassment began mixing with the shame on Dazai’s face.

“After everything… a box of fucking chocolates...”

“It’s the least I could do.”

“You fucking idiot.” Chuuya threw his arms around Dazai in his laughter. “If you insist on giving me something, you have until White Day, okay?”

Dazai nodded. As relief sunk in, the beginnings of a smile floated up.

“Man, I haven’t laughed this fucking hard since who-the-fuck-knows-when.” Chuuya placed a kiss on Dazai’s forehead. “Thank you for that.”

Chuuya’s kiss, his laugh, his smile—in that moment, Chuuya was right—the chocolates were the least relevant thing.

“Voilà!” Chuuya gestured grandly to the mini-feast on the table. “Crabs and sake, your favorites~”

“Not when you make them,” Dazai muttered. The food before him actually looked rather appetizing. Chuuya’s cooking skills had improved a fair amount since Dazai had moved in—not that Dazai would let him know.

“Hey, look here. I don’t have to give you any.”

“Oh, are you going to spare me?” Chuuya had fallen nicely into Dazai’s trap.

“.. Bastard.” Chuuya cleared his throat. “Now, before you start eating—which I know you’re dying to do—we should take a picture!”

“Like this?” This was the last way Dazai wanted to be preserved in Chuuya’s memory: helpless in a wheelchair.

“Yes, like this. This is our first fucking Valentine’s Day, and we should record it.”

“Fine.”

Chuuya went into the other room and returned with the camera, tripod, a box chocolates. “What’s that for?” Dazai asked.

“Hold it.” Chuuya dropped the box into Dazai’s lap. “We didn’t get any pictures earlier, so this will do.”

“Okay.” Dazai picked up the chocolates into his usable hand, which trembled lightly. Chuuya leaned in from behind and then whacked him on the back of the hand. “What?”

“You better smile.”

So Dazai did smile.

The photo, despite their smiles, was largely unhappy. Weary shadows dulled Chuuya’s eyes. Dazai’s picture depicted mainly the things he lost: a fair amount of hair, muscles, fat—anything which had previously cushioned his skeleton. Even if they smiled, it was a ghastly image.

Chuuya seemed pretty content with the photo, so Dazai didn’t say anything.

“Shall we eat?” Chuuya chimed, drawing Dazai’s attention back to the food. He sat down in the seat next to Dazai. In one hand, he took Dazai’s motionless right hand, in the other, the chopsticks. Taking turns, he would put food in his mouth, then in Dazai’s. It was a stupid game they played when they wanted to forget. Over time, Chuuya would get more and more creative in his attempts to feed Dazai. When he succeeded, that was a point for him; when he missed or made a mess, that was a point for Dazai. Although the objective (to feed Dazai) suggested that Chuuya should have usually won, more often than not, he lost, especially when alcohol was involved.

“Really?! How could you say I lost?!” Chuuya gaped at Dazai, a drunken red on his cheeks.

“I was keeping score. You undeniably lost.”

“I say you were fucking cheating. You used the alcohol to cheat!”

“You brought the alcohol, remember? And it’s not my fault you have no tolerance,” Dazai shrugged. “Oh, and before you pass out, don’t forget to help me to the bed.”

“Oh, I’ll help you to the bed, alright.” Dazai’s back stiffened with dread before Chuuya scooped him up into his arms, bridal-style.

“You’re going to carry me from here?”

“Today you get special treatment.” Chuuya carried Dazai into the bedroom and lowered him unto the bed with a kiss on his forehead. “How’s that for the end of a romantic ending?”

“It’s not over yet.” Dazai grinned with a yawn.

“Oh?”

In a few minutes, Chuuya had changed out of his clothes. He turned off the lights and slithered into the bed next to Dazai. “What did you have in mind, sleepyhead?”

“You took too long. I’m going to bed.”

“How romantic...” Chuuya wrapped himself around Dazai’s arm and quickly nodded to sleep, a rare, peaceful smile on his lips. It was romantic, Dazai thought—way better lying alone.

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#Bungou Stray Dogs #Soukoku #Human Qualification #Dazai Osamu #Nakahara Chuuya

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nickrbockr · 6 years ago

Text

Simon Vs Fan Fic: Chapter 4 - Trust your Gut

I landed early and Leah was there to pick my tired butt up from the trip (I can never sleep on planes). I told her it had to happen in Shady Creek and she was on board with it and that made me feel better. Our first day back was filled with catching up in between first day boring syllabus reviews in classes.

Freshman are forced to live on campus their first year and I had an interesting, but forgettable roommate. I have friends in the theatre department here, but starting sophomore year, Leah and I lived together in a nice (and affordable) apartment. Mom and Dad helped us with the rent, Dad being happy that it was the last year he had to pay. People kept telling us we were crazy to live with a friend, but since we’ve been friends for so long and Leah is…well Leah, who always spoke her mind, we never had any issues.

Luckily for both of us, we are great cooks at exceedingly different aspects. I am a stovetop master and handle dinners and savory breakfasts and Leah is a baking champion and handles sweet breakfasts and lunches. Yin-Yang of food: I wake up to waffles and Leah comes home to stir-fry. It’s a match made in love handles.

Ever since my best friend in the department caught on, Ian would come over from time to time to eat both breakfast and dinner, and we swore lunch because our peanut butter would mysteriously be consumed at a fast rate. Ian’s a diamond in the rough in the sense that is he one of the only straight men in the theatre department. This makes him a perfect ladies man because everyone assumes he’s gay when we go out together, girls talk to us, I tell him ‘Oh, my boyfriend’s calling me,’ and that opens the conversation to his heterosexuality and he leaves me with a wink and a finger gun. I’d give it the ‘ol Leah exhale if Ian and I hadn’t perfected it so much.

Outside of that aspect of Ian, he’s a great actor and has, on the hateful occasions, defended me against some drunk country boys at the city bars. Leah calls me his ward and Bram found it too funny. It’s not that funny, but Ian is a guy I know I’ll be friends with for the rest of my life.

“Aaaaaaaaayooooooooo Si-Si,” Ian yelled as he busted in the door and bear hugged me.

“Ugh, I regret it giving him a key already,” Leah said, not standing from the dinner table.

“What’s on the menu tonight?”

“Chicken BLT with pesto mayo and rice.”

Ian glanced over at Leah, “The TA checks musta kicked in with a two course meal, Le Burke.”

Leah and I both paid equally for the food, but Leah was the one who did the shopping. Because she loved it. Also, she actually doesn’t mind Ian’s nickname for her because he gives it a French pronunciation. Also, and she’ll never admit this because it’s against everything she believes, but she maaaaaay have a slight crush on him.

“It’s our last year Ian, may as well live it up, right?”

We all ate and caught up from the summer. Leah regaled us of her TA duties by day, and wine-infused studying by summer night, I bragged about Bram & I’s historic Splash Pad attendance since Bram saw my minute abs I formed junior year and wanted to show me off, and Ian explained his summer back in South Dakota camping every weekend with his high school buddies.

“Dude, have you ever seen the stars without light pollution?” Ian asked, in a serious tone.

“Yes, Ian, Si and I have the capability of turning our head up.” Leah said sarcastically.

“Yeah, but when you did, were you within or outside of the yellow light of the city.”

“Come on, Ian, Midwest dudes aren’t the only dudes who can see stars,” I validate. It reminded me of when Bram and I took a trip this summer with Nick & Abby to an AirBnB beach house. All days were spent as a group, but once the sun finally set, it was hard to not sneak into our bedrooms at opposite ends of the house and do what couples do. I try not to tell Leah about too much as she gets mad FOMO (fear of missing out).

“Okay, so you know what that looks like when the sky comes to life and you see the billions of other starts that you normally can’t see and all it took was unplugging and going out on your adventure.”

“But you don’t need just to see stars to feel that way, Ian,” Leah claims.

“Okay Le Burke, fine, but we all have that place we can go that makes us emotionally unpack, and not in the lets talk about our feelings way, but in the I feel less pressure from society and what it expects of me way. Where’s that for you?” Ian points at her.

“My bedroom.” Leah states.

“Your bedroom? Really?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”

“I dunno, seems trapped to me.” Ian answers, helping himself to the last BLT.

“You’re an extrovert, I’m an introvert, I don’t see a cramped room, I see a space in the entire universe that is built specifically for me and my liking and it relaxes me!”

Ian took a big bite and replied with a mouth full, “You know what, you got a point Le Burke.”

“Enough time around me, you’ll find I always know what I’m talking about.”

“What about you, Simon?” Ian asked.

I hadn’t been listening the conversation. When Ian asked about the place where we can emotionally unpack, all I could think about was that night on the Ferris wheel with soft eyes Bram Greenfeld in his strong arms next to his soccer calves. Though many people were around us, that little carriage built for two felt the most weight lifting experience.

“Si? Earth-to-Si,” Leah said in a robot voice.

“The ring,” I start. “Would it be tacky to get a ring that looks like a ferris wheel?”

“I didn’t take you for the man jewelry type, Si” Ian laughed, taking another bite that was probably a bit too big.

“A ferris wheel would just look like a merry-go-round on its side and I don’t think that’s cute.” Leah replied. “Besides, it would be a statement engagement ring and Bram isn’t really a statement jewelry person.”

“Engagement ring?” Ian muffled out of his mouth. “Are you proposing to Bram?”

“Oh, shit. Yes, Ian, I’m proposing to Bram in January.”

Ian spit out the food onto his plate to the lament of Leah and powered over to me to give me another bear hug.

“Fuck yeah Si! That’s so fuckin’ cool congratulations!”

Ian is obsessed with Bram. On the occasions Bram visited me up here, Ian steals him away so they can talk about soccer. Bram loves it because it’s hard to talk soccer in Baltimore, so I usually have to peel Ian off of Bram. Ian always asks Bram jokingly if he has a sister and Bram always lets him know she’s only five.

He finally let me go and went back to his spit out food and put it back in his mouth to finish.

“Are you fucking serious Ian?!” Leah screamed.

“I don’t want to waste food on such a beautiful evening. We have to celebrate.”

Celebrating turned into shots and beers and the rest of the night we spent talking about the show line up for our senior year and which roles we’d want verses the one we may be assigned. Leah explained her classes and we got into brief sociology based debates. Around one A.M., Ian was asleep on the couch and Leah and I were in my room, head to head, just like in high school.

“So I was thinking and you’re right, I think the ferris wheel ring maybe too much.”

“Maybe a little.” Leah replied in a slight slur. “It could have been worse, you could have suggested an Oreo ring.”

She’s right, unfortunately. We both laughed a drunken laugh.

“Know of any cool ring shops in New Haven?” I ask. “I wanna start looking.”

“Si, don’t rush this. Let the ring find you. The one ring-”

“TO RULE THEM ALL!” We both finish.

“When I brought it up to Dad, he just said ‘do you trust me’ and so I don’t know if he’s helping me or not.” I explain.

“Maybe trust your Dad. You’ll be proposing in Shady C anyway, take a chance on your Jack Spier.”

We both chuckle and talk a few more minutes until Leah goes to bed and I’m left staring at my ceiling. I grabbed my laptop and began some drunken Google searching for engagement ring ideas and of course they’re all the most un-Bram like options.

But…like what could I get Bram that will scream us, but at the same time be elegant and show how much I love him? I am leaning towards no stone…I think Bram and I are simple folk with simple tastes. Bram tastes like…no, focus, get my hand out of my pants.

Should I put the ring in a sleeve of Oreos and have him open it? I mean, it know how tacky it sounds because it’s so tacky, but would Bram like how tacky it is and just think it’s cute? Where is the tipping point!?

Bzzz

Bram I hope you had a good first day! I’m assuming Ian’s passed out already? ;)

And just like that, my ring anxiety began to dissolve.

I did and he is! For a bro, he’s not much of a drinker

. .. … If you talk about soccer, he’ll drink you under the table. He runs on pure adrenaline when you bring up Argentina.

You know I tried, and it didn’t work I think I’m missing the Bram-factor in my conversation

. .. … I’m missing the Simon-Spier.

Strange, I thought you had my heart Be sure you don’t lose it, it’s the only one I have

. .. … I keep it in the space mine was because you seem have taken mine.

<3 Above is evidence I have yours, show me mine so I know it’s safe

. .. … <3 It isn’t going anywhere. Oh, also, I almost forgot. Mom is going to be in New Haven guest lecturing for the...ugh, Women Sexual Studies Class.

Holy shit, this is perfect. I was going to call her but this is a thousand times better. In person, somehow, seems easier because I can see her reactions. Bram’s Mom and I get along great…I think. She allows me to call her by her first name, Tracy, so that’s a start. I just don’t think we’ve ever really had a chance to talk about anything but Bram, so our relationship is just a little one-note, but think we’re both okay talking about Bram that much.

Even after four years, Ms Every Time Including Oral strikes again! That’s great, I’ll call her tomorrow to get the details. I’ll make her dinner. Remind me, her favorite dish is baked salmon right?

. .. … Yes. Simon, you’re too kind. You don’t even like salmon.

Yeah, but I love you.

. .. … <<33 That’s your big heart, still with me. I love you more.

Impossible.

I fall asleep and wake up to my alarm and more textual love from Bram. I roll out of bed, shower, and get Ian’s ass up for class. Leah already had an egg bake on the table with a note that said ‘Warm me for a minute in the microwave nerds.’ Ian stuffs an extra large portion in his mouth and straps on his bag. I pull us out the door and we jump into Ian’s beat-up Buick to Acting IV.

At lunch I call Tracy and she let’s me know she’ll be here Thursday night for a full day of lectures on Friday. She sounded excited to be asked to lecture and hopefully a good mood enough to hear me wanting to marry her son.

Tuesday comes and goes (for dinner it was just Leah and me and I made us homemade pizza with a cauliflower crust and actually. Actually it wasn’t half bad. Normal crust is always better, but it wasn’t bad).

Wednesday night Leah and I are in the library, me searching for monologues and she posting up to help the Intro to Sociology class students write a big surprise essay assigned by a notoriously hard professor.

“I hope the sociology professors see the irony in making me slave away helping their students cause they’re too lazy.” Leah scoffs, chewing a big piece of pink bubblegum.

“Isn’t that the gig of a Teacher’s Assistant?” I’m burning through stacks of books I stole from the shelves and have a few to photocopy of already earmarked monologues from actor’s past.

“Be on the right side of history, Simon. I’m supposed to assist the teacher, not the student. I got the salmon, by the way, I pulled it from the freezer this morning.”

I gave her a puppy dog smile and head tilt. “This is why you’re the Queen.”

“Damn straight. Know what you’re going to say?”

“No,” I reply. “But I’ve landed the best people in my life by going in without a plan…pretty much my entire life is that.”

“I’m not here to be your English professor, Google how to set up a works cited page!” Leah shouts at a baby freshman. He runs off and frantically types away at his laptop. “Trust your gut, Si, trust your gut. All of it except the part that thought a ferris wheel ring, though, throw that part in the trash.”

I scanned copies of the chosen monologues to work on and we went home. Abby and Nick Skyped us and we all caught up since leaving each other this summer. We planned trips and talked about classes and how Abby and Nick saw Benedict Cumberbatch walking in New York. I fell asleep that night as a usually do, texting Bram, and woke up Thursday morning to cook Leah and I omelets. The rest of the day flew by because before I knew it I was back at home prepping dinner.

I tidied up the apartment as Leah left to study at the library again. She was worried the students would still be there and ask her for helps so she, honest to God, wore a wig to throw them off. I chuckled as she sashayed out the door. Even though I don’t like to eat salmon, I’m a natural when it comes to cooking it and I had all the food ready as soon as Tracy knocked at the door. We hugged and exchanged kisses on the cheek as she presented a bottle of red wine. Then she flew past me into the kitchen and she checked the salmon.

After a deep inhale, she smiled. “Simon, I must say you know how to season.”

“Practice makes perfect, Tracy.”

We made small talk about her trip up here, which evolved into her career taking off. That quickly transitioned into the points she was covering in her lecture during the classes until we both finished eating, but she saw me playing with remnants of potatoes with my fork.

“So, Simon, what are your plans after college?”

“Oh, you know,” I started. “Bram and I were talking of living in New York for awhile. Professors here have some connections to companies there and if I pay my cards right I can get some steady work right away. Bram said he’d love to write for the New York Times, so it’s a perfect move. He mentioned a professor there is on the staff and wrote him a great letter of recommendation, so that’s exciting. Hoping to focus on having fun this year too before we have to be full-fledged adults.”

“Sure sounds like the planning part of Bram rubbed off on you. He gets that from me, trust me.”

“Yeah, Bram is, the greatest, Tracy. I actually wanted to talk to you about Bram.”

I swallowed hard and set my fork down. I was still formulating the words, so I covered myself quickly and picked up the bottle of wine. I got the nerves I felt right before an audition. This audition, however, I couldn’t afford to screw up.

“Refill?”

Tracy nodded with a raised eyebrow and I topped off her glass.

“Seems you want me a little buzzed for this, Simon.”

The audition started. “Oh, no, no, not buzzed. It is custom to have a drink if you’re celebrating something.”

“Oh? What are celebrating tonight?”

Bram…Bram…Bram. Saying his name calmed my nerves. Picturing his lips and remembering his scent centered me.

“Tracy. I am so madly…deeply…overwhelmingly in love with Abraham. My life has been nothing like I could have imagined it or deserved it and it is because of him. I want to always be with him and, because of that, I wanted to make you aware of my intentions. Tracy, my intentions are to ask your son to marry me and before I do, I wanted to ask for your blessing as his mother.”

Tracy tilted her head in the way Bram does and covered her mouth with her right hand. A loud inhale through her nose told me she had an emotional reaction to the news, and I was hoping it was tears of joy. She dropped her hand and a large smile crossed her face (Bram got his smile from her. Definetely).

“Simon Spier. The fact that you...that you gave my son the courage…that you make my son happy…that you cooked me dinner and asked me…I see the way you look at my son and I see the way my son looks at you and even Elijah and I never looked at each other they way you both do. My goal as a mom was to give Abraham a great life and a better one than mine and it looks like this will be just another strong foundation to that claim.”

Tracy put her hand onto mind and squeezed it.

“Simon, you absolutely have my blessing.”

YES, YES,YES! With tears in both our eyes, we hug each other. I pour the last of the wine between our glasses and we chees to me, to Bram, and to us.

“Thank you, Simon. I know you didn’t have to do this, or ask, and it means a lot to me that you did.” Then she became serious for a minute. “Do you intend on asking my ex-husband?”

Is that…a trick question?! Audition not over.

“Yes,” I start wearily. “I wanted to be sure I can tell Bram both of his parents gave me their blessing. I wanted to be sure that you both know how much I intend to love and care for your son. I’m not sure I can fully explain or find the right metaphors to show to what capacity I care for him, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to perfect it into a simple phrase that, when I figure it out, I will tell you.”

Tracy smiled and burst into a happy, crying laughter.

“Simon, since the moment we met, I never had a doubt that you would marry my son. I’m so happy and excited for both of you.”

A tear dropped down my face. What an enormous compliment from a mother to another about her son. I smiled and went on to explain to her when I was planning on proposing.

“Of course, how perfect! Do you have a ring?”

“Funny story, Tracy. Dad said that he’d help me with that, and I’m going to put my bet that he will deliver. After twenty-one years, he has yet to let me down.”

“Wonderful, I can’t wait to see it.”

“Yes, so I was still arranging how I wanted to propose and one scenario has me doing in front of my parents and you and Elijah.”

“Such an old soul in a young man. Why so formal?”

That’s a good question. Maybe…maybe it’s because Bram and my middle school and high school experience wasn’t conventional. And that maybe there is a comfort in being a part of a conventional process. Plus, it’s respectful and is bound to earn me brownie points with the possible new in-laws.

“I trust my gut, Tracy. My gut told me formal.”

“Trust your gut, Simon. It’s made all sorts of great decisions. But I have one, very important question for you.”

I clear my throat. “Uh, yes, of course.”

“Do we have more wine?”

We laugh and Tracy explains it’s getting late and excuses herself back to her hotel room.

When I check my phone, I have a few missed texts from Bram.

Hey! I hope Mom is going easy on you. Be careful, she will try to judge how you seasoned the fish, but I’m confident you’ll pass. I taught you well. I can see you both eating the food right now and I’m super jealous I can’t be there. Well, not super jealous if Mom talks about her lecture, which she will. Text me when you can! I know you’re being courteous and won’t check your phone while she’s there. I’m so confident in that fact that I’m going to send you a picture.

Below that text was a well-curated picture of Bram’s nether region.

Bram! Scandalous! Though you were right, Tracy just left. We finished a bottle of wine, sorry I got her tipsy! You’re right, she did talk about her lecture, but it’s focused on female anatomy, something we needn’t worry. I love you Bram. I love you so much. And that picture, you better be careful or it may start something.

. .. … Start something, huh? I’m not afraid. Show me what you got! ;)

You can imagine what the rest of the night turned into.

#Love simon #simonverse #simon vs #svthsa #simon x bram #simon spier #bram greenfeld #gay love #love #love simon fanfiction #love simon fic #my fic

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melonoverlord · 7 years ago

Note

Val for all the ABCs asks

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

She’s been tinkering as long as she can remember. Her early childhood is a little fuzzy but she knows she’s been building little robots out of scrap metal and letting them run around town.

2. what activities have they participated in?

She’s the chief technician on the Freedom Vessel and also technically was a spy on Biomia but she was spying for herself rather than an organization.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

Learning how to talk to people. She’s only had her sisters and her eventually girlfriend on Biomia, but now there are people who love her that aren’t like seven and fourteen, so it’s a strange feeling being able to talk about herself without taking care of them.

4. what things are they bad at?

Following orders. She escaped her own quarantine when she was shot four times in the back because she was bored and wanted to celebrate Castor’s birthday with him.

5. what is their most impressive talent?

Definitely designing tech. She worked on B3rT13, Phoebe (the bot, not her sister), Ciri’s tear ducts, Ravi’s arms and legs, and Nivviah’s trident.

B: Basics

1. what is their hair color?

Brown

2. what is their eye color?

Brown, a little darker than her hair.

3. how tall are they?

5′0

4. how old are they?

5. how much do they weigh?

185 lbs

C: Comfort

1. how do they sit in a chair?

One leg over each side of the chair, leaned back, arms crossed. She’s a definite manspreader.

2. in what position do they sleep?

In fetal position, hugging herself, sometimes hugging Phoebe as well. If she’s dead tired she’ll just sprawl out anywhere and usually B3rT13 will eventually carry her to bed.

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

Snuggled up to Ciri or Castor, her favorite siblings, and watching old horror movies in their pajamas. Anytime Val can get away with not wearing a bra, she will.

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

Strawberry ice cream. It was the first food she was given when she was in the hospital after she tried to commit suicide. It was really when she and Tam became drinking buddies because he said “I know eating food probably will hurt for a bit, so I brought you ice cream.”

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

B3rT13, actually. Ciri’s the best for the physical comforts and reassurance, but B3rT13 is there to say “Hey, you made me and I’m amazing, so fuck you for thinking you’re not amazing too. And if anyone says that you aren’t, I’ll hit them with my hammer.”

D: Decoration

1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

A lot of natural light since she’s a vent gremlin who only gets artificial light from lamps, an entire floor dedicated to being a workshop so she can separate work from home and let all the upstairs be places for her to call her own, including a guest room. She’d also have pictures of her family and friends set up everywhere, even someone silly like the bathroom.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

More blankets and pillows than a child probably needs, a shit ton of plushies that she finds online (and some from Who), and a mini fridge to store enough snacks so that even if something happens to her, her child will never have to go hungry.

3. how do they decorate their own room?

Val’s room on the Freedom Vessel is a #mess, because half of it is split into her workshop. On her side, she shares her bed with Phoebe and at times B3rT13 when he decides to sleep in her room. She also has the only stuffed animal she brought from Biomia, which is a ratty stuffed pig she calls Rumplepigskin.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

She usually wears jeans and a baseball tee, but when she needs to be dressed up, she’ll wear slacks and a blouse. You’d have to tie her down to get her into a dress. But she also wears the beanie that Ciri made her.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

Nah, she usually doesn’t wear makeup or do her nails because when working with metal, paint is easily chipped.

E: External Personality

1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

She is very meticulous about the personality she portrays which is a carefree, somewhat lazy, girl who just happens to be one of the greatest technophiles of the age. If she’s currently dealing with her trauma, those feelings will slip out but for the most part the persona she puts on isn’t who she really is.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Valerie Anne Read has never conformed to the norm and will continue to break away from the norm until the day she gets blown up on some backwater planet.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

Val never really cared what the trends of the time were since they tended to shift every couple months or so. She only tends to follow trends if she enjoys it herself.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

It took her a while because technology is a little behind on Biomia, but once Percy introduced her to the internet, she is on it and catching up as fast as she can. Right now she’s very into space twitter.

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it outon their own?

There are about fourteen different layers to Val that she lets different people figure out. You’d have to know her for a long ass time before she let out everything to you. Even her sisters didn’t know everything about Val’s true feelings.

F: Fun

1. what do they do for fun?

Crawl through vents, play nerf guns with Castor, Ravi, and B3rT13, and teach B3rT13 different swear words and lewd gestures. Right now his favorite word is “cunt”

2. what is their ideal party?

Lots of wine, chocolate, and a nerf gun fight with everyone on the ship. She’s already working on her power poses. She doesn’t super love giant parties, but she’s welcome to one if it has all her friends.

3. who would they have the most fun with?

Her favorite sibs, Castor, Ciri, Flor, and Percy.

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Nope. Nearly every rule that the Freedom Vessel has, she has broken. Luna had to make a specific set of rules for Val just because she kept breaking the main ones. One of them is “Stop putting food in the vents even if they don’t expire”

5. do they go out a lot?

She hasn’t gone on a lot of missions (the Therion mission was actually her first one ever), but she went out a lot on Biomia to at least look at the clubs even if she never went in. But she’s very interested in the casino on Helios and is ready to lose her money.

G: Gorgeous

1. what is their most attractive external feature?

She has a beautiful soft butch aesthetic which includes a rad pixie cut that perfectly frame her large brown eyes.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

Even in the tensest of situations, Val can manage to light up a room with her jokes and keep everyone at east. She also has a nice thing to say about everyone, even if it hidden in a joke.

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

You won’t be caught dead without cool tech. Val’s given electric tridents, a sassy robot, electricity-absorbing suits, arms and legs, and yes, she is working secretly on Ravi’s rocket knees. Just don’t tell Ciri. She’s waiting for his ninth birthday.

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

Her hair is one of the softest you will ever see and you will want to run your fingers through her hair for hours. She also loves her chub and makes shabby chic look like a snack.

5. what parts of others do they envy?

That they don’t have to hide pretty much everything about themselves and can have honest relationships.

H: Heat

1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

Cold room. If her room gets to hot all the tech starts to malfunction. It’s easier to heat up tech from the inside than to cool it down.

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Winter. She hates being hot since the summer on Biomia can get sweltering and she had to live outside on a hot metal rollercoaster cart.

3. do they like the snow?

Not really. The only snow she was around was slush, and slush looks nasty, especially with all the dirt on the street.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

Cannonballing into the pool and getting water all over Tam because he complains that his hair’s going to frizz up.

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

She loves building snowpeople. She’s only seen a heavy snowfall once on Biomia where there was actually enough snow not to turn to slush, and she loved building a snowman with Isa and Phoebe. They gave it a carrot dick.

I: In-the-closet

1. what is their sexuality?

Harold, she’s a lesbian.

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

Biomia’s one of the planets that still restricts by sexuality (at least in the legal code), so it was expected that she would have to be with a man. It didn’t take her long to realize that she was much more comfortable being with women.

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

Nope, she’s always been comfortable in her gender. She does tend to dress more masculine than feminine though. She’s a soft butch.

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Her sisters never cared about her sexuality, and both of them probably queer as well (though both were too young to act on anything), but all they cared whether about if they were safe and if Valerie was happy.

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

She told her sisters when she first starting dating her girlfriend, but really only had to formally come out once, which was a little after she turned sixteen.

J: Joy

1. what makes them happy?

Tinkering in her workshop, eating oreos, crawling through the vents and scaring people, drinking wine and watching trashy TV with Percy and Flor.

2. who makes them happy?

Ciri, Castor, Flor, and Percy. All her favorite brothers and sisters.

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

‘Young Volcanoes’ by Fall Out Boy, ‘Miss Jackson’ by Panic! at the Disco, and ‘It Don’t Mean a Thing’ by Ella Fitzgerald

4. are they happy often?

She hasn’t been happy in years. But she thinks she’s on her way to happiness now that she has more friends.

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

B3rT13 and knowing that her inventions are having positive outcomes.

K: Kill

1. have they ever thought about suicide?

Yes, and attempted it when she was 17.

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

Absolutely. She’s still itching to get back at Biomia for taking her family away from her.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

Honestly, the entire Council of Nine, her ex-girlfriend, and the bitches who shot her in the back on Therion. It’s a good thing Percy and Flor crushed them.

4. who would miss them if they died?

She’s hoping everyone on the Freedom Vessel, but she thinks Ciri, Castor, Flor, and Percy would probably be the most heartbroken.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

Pretty much everyone who had a hand in her sisters’ murders.

L: Lemons

1. what is their favorite fruit?

Strawberries. She loves strawberry anything.

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Pomegranates. For some reason her mind always goes to spider eggs.

3. are there any foods they hate?

Pickles are still un-fucking-valid, no matter what anyone says. And that’s the tea.

4. do they have any food intolerances?

Dairy. Does it stop her from eating dairy? Absolutely not.

5. what is their favorite food?

Strawberry short cake.

M: Maternal

1. would they want a daughter or a son?

She already kinda had two daughters, so she’d be chill with any kid.

2. how many children do they want?

No more than 2 or 3. She doesn’t know how Ciri has like fourteen kids.

3. would they be a good parent?

She doesn’t look it, but Val did a great job raising Phoebe and Isa, a few mistakes regarding trust aside.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

A son, she’d probably name it after Castor or Perseus, but she could also see him being called Roman (after her name of Valerie). For a girl, she would definitely start with Phoebe or Isabella, but could also see naming her kids after Ciri or Florina.

5. would they adopt?

Absolutely. She knows what it’s like to be an orphan. Also there’s no way she’s having sex with a man.

N: Never Have I Ever

1. what would they never do?

Betray her friends or family.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

She’s not going to lie, she really wants to sky dive. Flor promised to take her once by literally carrying her up and then dropping her before swooping down and catching her again, but Luna has always shot the idea down.

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Actively like the capitalist, imperialist, and fascist qualities that Genesis has and try to uphold them. Also she can’t believe that people like eating fucking pickles, Castor.

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

When she first joined the Freedom Vessel, she completely trashed her room and broke pretty much every breakable object, and then Nivviah calmly asked if she would help her clean up and Val had to watch through tear streaked eyes as Nivviah patiently and silently helped clean up the room Val trashed.

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

Join an international revolution.

O: Optimism

1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic, though she honestly doesn’t believe most of it. She usually says it so she can hopefully believe her own words in the future and to instill hope in others. She is very pessimistic towards herself.

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

She tends to be optimistic around people just because she can’t stand to see other hopeless, but only really does it if they’re looking for inspiration. If they want to stew in their own sadness, Val will usually let them.

3. are they good at giving advice?

She’s probably given the most advice on the ship, mostly for relationships which she still doesn’t understand because she’s single as a pringle and her one and only relationship ended in two people dead. She is pretty good at giving advice though because it works out if people listen to her.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Ravi and Crumb, her sisters, and Percy.

5. were they always optimistic?

She was never really optimistic, except for her false optimism now. As a kid she was much more pragmatic and realist.

P: Personality

1. what is their best personality trait?

She is a ride or die loyal friend. If you get on her good side, she has shown that she is willing to risk her life for you and treats you as a sibling. If you’re her friend, there is close to nothing she wouldn’t do for you.

2. what is their worst personality trait?

*Alicia Keys voice* This girl is a liar! Because of the trauma in her life and what she feels guilty or scared about, she will never give a straight answer and you will have to unravel several layers to find the truth. Even her own version of the truth is skewed because of her own self-deprecation.

3. what of their personality do others love?

Ironically Ciri loves her honesty (at least when it comes to people not Val), her willingness to drop everything for her friends and family, her supportiveness, and her creativity.

4. what of their personality do others envy?

Ciri envies her ability to use humor as a deflection and her ability to say things that other people might be thinking but don’t want to say.

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

She hates that the personality she has now is a result of her trauma and wishes she could go back to how she was around five years ago.

Q: Questions

1. do they ask for help?

Only as a last resort. She wants to be able to show that she can do things by herself and will only ask for help if there is literally no other way she can solve it herself.

2. do they ask questions in class?

She asked a lot of questions about the Freedom Vessel, mostly to Nivviah, once she was comfortable to talk to people after she first arrived. It wasn’t even full on talking to her, but she wrote at least fifty questions in her notebook and gave it to Nivviah to answer, and to the best of her knowledge, Nivviah answered all of them. The questions ranged from “Where did Luna get this ship” to “Why is Oberon like that”

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

Nope. She will change subjects, ask back an equally uncomfortable question, or just lie flat out. She hates answering questions about herself.

4. do they ask weird questions?

Oh definitely. She once asked Icio whether Theuthidans’ dicks were smaller fish (she may or may not have been drunk) and once bonded with Juniper on that month when everyone was on Theuthida where Dryads had tree vaginas (she was definitely sober and the question had been on her mind for those two months).

5. are they curious?

She’s a Ravenclaw, she’s got that curiosity that either gets herself killed or people freaked out.

R: Rules

1. do they follow rules?

Not in the slightest. She gives Luna and Nivviah a heart attack every time she breaks a rule.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

She was a pretty strict parent to Isa and Phoebe in the sense that they had to be back home by sundown unless they had specifically a “mission”, but was laid-back in the sense that as long as they stayed smart and safe, they could pretty much do whatever they wanted.

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?

She was bedridden for a full day after she was shot in the back despite her protests, and now because of her suicide attempt, is forbidden from going into the infirmary alone and must be accompanied by an adult.

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

She does regret breaking her family’s rule of “everyone has to like your friend before they can come over” because she thought that she could trust her first girlfriend and ended up being stabbed in the back.

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

It shouldn’t matter that you’re lactose intolerant, you should be able to drink milk if you really want that milkshake. Also she hates that people still think that slavery’s an alright thing to do.

S: Streets

1. are they street-smart?

Yes. As she was a short, physically weak girl growing up on the streets, Val never was able to play hard, but instead play smart. Steal this, Valerie. Trick this person Valerie. Sneak into this place, Valerie. She had to stay two steps ahead of everyone else just to get a foothold in society.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

She never got enough money on Biomia to give it to those begging. And there wasn’t any people on the streets on Biomia. People either had apartments or the orphans lived outside the city limits, usually in the slums outside or in Val’s case, the abandoned amusement park.

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

Just once, when she was twelve. She was trying to sneak into a hospital to get some medicine for a sick Isa and a guard (known to the orphans on Biomia as a Child Snatcher since they take children on the streets and send them to orphanages) tried to apprehend her. She was able to get away, but not before he got a few good punches in, and she got a well aimed elbow to the temple.

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

She and Isa were once cornered by a couple of Biomian military agents for the Council of Nine, but for some reason was able to escape, despite them being the only ones there. Whenever she tries to think about it, she just knows that eventually their attention was drawn elsewhere.

5. are they cautious when out?

Val straddles the line between “I don’t care if I die” and “What if I die?” On Biomia she definitely kept an eye and ear out for everything, but now she keeps an eye out just enough that her friends aren’t attacked.

T: Truth

1. are they honest?

Val and Luna are tied for keeping the most secrets. Unless you take special care to get her to trust you completely, there will always be something about her life kept secret.

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

She can tell if someone’s lying to her but finds it difficult to actually pull out the truth. She usually lets subjects drop if she thinks they’re lying and don’t want to talk about it.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

She’s gotten lying down pat. Girl’s got a +7 to deception. She’s also lied to people’s faces (like in-game) and hasn’t been called out on it yet.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

No, she’s actually a little more open than she wants. If she could take her past and the trauma’s she’s faced to the grave, she absolutely would.

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

She once told her ex-girlfriend about her work and then it spread to the entire Biomian government.

U: Underdog

1. have they been bullied?

She’s been verbally roughed up a bit by guards at different establishments, but she always managed to run away before it got worse than that.

2. have they bullied anyone?

She playfully bullies Ciri, Tam, and Castor just because they know that it’s all in good fun and because she knows that they can take it.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?

Thankfully no, mostly because no one cared enough about her family to attack them.

4. have they ever been doubted?

She was an orphaned who lived in an abandoned roller coaster. No one really expected Val would be as smart as she was.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

When Luna heard about a seventeen year old genius in Biomia, she expected someone strong, self confident, and mature, not a short, insecure child with a death wish the size of Earth.

V: Vomit

1. do they vomit often?

No, she’s seen enough stuff in the vents to keep her food down.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

She used to, but got so used to things in the vents that she has a stomach of steel now.

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

She’s pretty good. Isa got sick a lot as a kid and would always try to make sure she was as comfortable as could be. She would forego all the blanket space so Isa could have most of it, and tried to get food for her.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

Just being held and having her head pat.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

She hiccups, but mostly she just cries. She doesn’t like vomit in the slightest. It brings back to many memories.

W: Water

1. do they drink enough water?

Unless someone puts a glass of water in front of her (which usually is Ravi, Crumb because they’re the doctors or B3rT13 because he cares about his human and humans need water to live) she will not drink water.

2. have they learned to swim?

Nivviah and Luna taught her to swim when she joined the Freedom Vessel, after she was able to do things on her own.

3. do they like to swim?

She likes floating in the pool more than actively swimming, but she really likes doing handstands or cannonballs in the pool.

4. can they dive?

She can only do it from kneeling position, but once she tried from standing and landed in a belly flop.

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Yeah. It took a long time for her to learn how to do it without getting water up her nose, but she’s fine now.

X: Xylophone

1. what is their favorite genre of music?

The one thing she can say she likes about Biomia is their music, and really loves jazz music, especially the ones that played at the speakeasies she would sneak into.

2. do they have a favorite song?

‘Young and Beautiful’ by Lana Del Rey

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

She has and will always be gay for Ella Fitzgerald.

4. can they sing well?

She doesn’t have the best voice, but she can sing decently. It was Isa who was the star of the family. She sang and danced on street corners while Val and Phoebe pick-pocketed.

5. can they rap?

She’s actually a pretty decent rapper and can keep up with most beats.

Y: You

1. how old were you when you created them?

I believe 17. My powerpoint for her novel is dated back to 2015.

2. what inspired you to create them?

I was writing a novel about lesbian space pirates that never got finished, and Val was one of the main characters.

3. were they different when they were first created?

Definitely. I accidentally gave her Phoebe’s personality when I made her a campaign character as novel Val is much more controlled, shy, and misunderstood (and went by Valerie). But I love both of them the way they are. It was sort of explained why Val now acts more like how Phoebe did, but it will be explained more in depth later.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

She and Luna are my two favorite npcs of the campaign. I love all the love interests, don’t get me wrong, but Val owns my entire fucking heart.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

As a STEM major who feels the imposter syndrome very bad, I love that Val is a proud engineering girl who never feels like she’s not as good as she is. What gives her anxiety about her work is not whether she’s not good enough, it’s the unintended side effects of her invention. Also she’s chubby and gay.

Z: Zebra

1. what’s their favorite animal?

Platypuses. They just look like they’re not meant to exist and honestly, big mood.

2. do they like animals?

She has a hard time connecting to living things (both human and animal) and prefers to work with robots, but she thinks they’re cute.

3. cats or dogs?

Dogs. She’s afraid of bigger dogs, but she likes medium sized ones or the small ones.

4. what’s their dream pet?

She once saw a Tasmanian Tiger in one of the free zoos on Biomia and thought it was one of the coolest animals she’s ever seen. But a couple years later she went back and it was gone and hasn’t seen it since.

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

Technically Phoebe is a pet, but she prefers to think of the little bot as her daughter. And then B3rT13 is her asshole son.

#imaturtlebug #my characters #Valerie Read #genesis campaign

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thoughtsofthej-blog · 5 years ago

Text

06.29.19 — V. Sattui

Woke up this morning to do my hair and makeup before we headed out for breakfast. It took a good minute to do my hair but not as long as my red 1/2-inch tapered curler would have. My 1-inch barrel held my hair together pretty well and sexxxy. As I was getting ready, Jay cleaned up a bit and kept raving about his headlights. He asked if he could sneak it in once we came back, but I was too worried that it would be too dark to do so. So I told him let’s see how late it would be when we came back.

I’ve been feenin’ to try a Monte Cristo sandwich and found one in his area called Dino’s. We tried going for breakfast, but we discovered it was closed. We went to iHOP instead. Get this, I confused Dino’s Family Restaurant in Fremont with Dino’s Grill in Newark. Typical Yelp mistake.

I bugged Jay about buying tickets and reservations at V. Sattui for the loooongest time. After breakfast, I went on their website to see that reservations were needed. That’s when things started to bum me out. We found an opening for 4:00. Super late. The whole point was that we left early so we could have the sun down on us in Napa while we explored it’s vineyards. But we couldn’t do much at that point and I tried accepting it.

It was only 10:38am-ish, so he asked to do his headlights. He said he would take a half hour to an hour, but I doubted it. Wiring is such a B. I let him do his thing though as long as we were able to leave in time...

I wrote in my notebook, social media’d, and even took a nap. I was trying to sleep through frustration. it was already early 1 and I started to tear up. I didn’t even want to go anymore. He came in, apologized, said he was gonna take a quick shower and we’d be out. Here came me acting up. I couldn’t shake off the frustration that we could have already been in Napa seeing other things, but I wanted to give him time to do his thing. I swear, Jay is sweet and patient.. he kept apologizing and assured me the day wasn’t wasted. But my hard-headed self just bluntly told him to shower cause we’ll be even more late.

He finished getting ready and walked in on me in my dress and finished red lip. As frustrated as I was and we had our miscomm., he still reacted amazed and told me how beautiful I looked. Bae even came up from behind, held me softly, and kissed me face and shoulder. I don’t deserve him. So fucking sweet despite how bitter I acted. I thanked him and slowly started to come down from my attitude.

He did more little things to help. He helped but my heels on. He made sure I was cool (temperatured) in the car. He even held my knee/thigh like usual. We probably had a good 20mins. of silence and I had to break it. I can’t stay mad at him long. I love him. He has this effect on me. It’s so crazy. I kissed him and we played aorund with each other licking. He licked my hand and I licked his face. I tried wiping it off and he yelled “NOoOooO! I’m trying to keep it there all day!” I love how silly we can get.

After 1hour and 38 minutes, we make it to V. Sattui. The host asked us to gather so we could hear his wine tasting options. He was pretty much pitching to us what to buy.. on the spot. We were lucky we had a reservation just in case, but Ughhhh. I did not like how deceiving Yelp (where it said we did not need reservations) and the company website was (where it said “reservation required”). Regardless, we were there!

We checked in and wandered before we went to the market to wine taste. It was beautiful! The mini-courtyard had hanging lights and chairs set out for ceremonies. I mean this was one of the wineries where weddings can take place. Made sense. Jay took pictures of me above the courtyard deck and down the ramp in front of the house-like building. After that, we made our way to the market.

This place was for sure busier than Castello de Amorosa! Castello probably had like 5-8 bars where a host seated you at a place where your party size fit. At V. Sattui, it was pretty much self-seat and a wait for a spot to open. The wait was fine though because it allowed us to observed each of the bar-tenders and their mannerisms. The guy below the company logo against the wall looked like he was just having an okay/getting-by day. His spots opened up for a good min., but the hosts at the center had so much character. Made sense. Center of attention!

We picked an Italian gentleman in a plaid pink shirt and khaki’s. They were def more skilled here than the castle. They would pour up, slide the glasses on the edge of the bar, swirl it and place in front of us accurately. Little side comments were def. funny.

HOST: Holy cow! *as the bull pouring wine spout was used*

*Clicks camera mid-level. . . clicks at canted angles. . . clicks at a high angle*

HOST: OMG it’s like a picture God created!

US: What do you recommend? HOST: I don’t choose the wine, the wine chooses me!

Oh yeah! That was different too. At Castello, we were able to choose our wines from a list. Here, he asked what we liked and he stuck to that. we mainly wanted reds and dessert wines, but he just gave us reds. Which was completely fine! He picked the reds we wanted. I really wanted to try the Grenache and Syrah. Jay bought the Syrah. Nice and decently dry. Not too sweet at all.

We exited the market and a foreign woman immediately went up to us and said “You can take picture!” with such a thick accent. Jay and I laughed and did so. She was kind enough to offer the same services back , but we were good! We’re that couple that doesn’t mind helping out another couple or a family.

Jay took more pictures of me against the vines. I loved the sunflare pic for sure! He’s so good. The pathway with the vine shade came next. Jay ttook pictures of them at different angles. They were so happy! We switched off and she said “I hope I take as good as you!” and she did! Thankful Jay and I got a good one.

After that, we headed to Gott’s Roadside! It ain’t a Napa trip for me without the G O T T. Had ourselves some O. rings, a California egg burger, and Baha Fish Tacos. LoOooved the made-from-scratch Ketchup for sure. For dessert, a PB&Oreo shake! They never disappoint me. Everything was moist and flavorful! Def. hit the line perfectly to hold us down on the way home.

Jay asked me in the car if the day was wasted. It for sure wasn’t. I sincerely thanked him and kissed him in the same way. Truth is, he spoils me and always knows how to diffuse a situation. The day for sure was not wasted at all. We were able to get the wine in at a perfect evening time in Napa and still made it home with the sun barely setting.

Can’t wait to drink this bottle of Syrah up. Mmmmmmm...

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caj-wind · 7 years ago

Text

CSM Class - Cannonball

Jacobsen

123 Leslie

94070

THE CANNONBALL

The AT&SF, The Atchinson Topeka and Santa Fe had crawled up the Rio Hondo valley and turned east, rattled through New Mexico, across the Texas pan handle, across the Oklahoma panhandle, angled into Kansas, hit Wichita and then Kansas city. He was on his way home. It been two, well, almost two years since he had been home. His feelings were many and mixed. Had Coalby changed? It would have had to change. Mostly it would be that the drought was over. The country was getting rain. The farmers were getting crops. Then, there had been surveys by the oil companies. The land was coming back and there was a promise of oil. The town itself? Of course there would be a few changes, minor, a fresh coat of paint here, a new sign over and old business there. The people? Most of his class, his high school class and his generation had been pushed out by the drought, the rest had been pulled out by the draft. Of course he had changed. How and how much?

There was a change of trains in Omaha and another in Sioux falls. On the D&N&M, the Denver and Nebraska and Minnesota. After a stop at the State Campus depot the Coalby Cannonball, the diesel dinky, was poking its way from one cluster of grain elevators to the next cluster of grain elevators while it crossed the endless, open country. Back when he had ridden this train to and from State the cars had been crowded with students. They were mostly the college crowd. He was one of them. Now, he felt likehe was a stranger. The other passengers were mostly women, mostly older women and he felt somewhat uncomfortable, somewhat alienated. To them he was a detached bit of the war. A war that should be a long way from here. A war that brought gas rationing and meat rationing and butter rationing and food rationing. Meat and butter and food rationing in the middle of America's bread basket? It was ridiculous and they had to ride the dinky because the ration board wouldn't give them gas stamps. And what was he doing, a young man like him, on this train in that fancy uniform? He should be off to that war, or someplace. But, those old crones have nothing better to do. Come down off it, you can't help what they think. You can't be concerned about them or the whole world or how to change them or how to change the whole world. You can't even make this train go faster. Take off the damn tie and the silly little cap. You have a long way to go.

There were memories. He remembered the morning at State when he had closed the door of his room in the dorm. It was the locking of that door that he remembered. He could still see his hand on the knob testing the door to be sure it was locked and questioning himself. Would he return? Would he ever unlock that door again? Who had lived in that room before he did? Who had lived in that room after he did? There were faces he had never seen and there are faces he would never see. Had they paused, like he had paused, to wonder if that locked door would ever be unlocked? It was a strange reflection.

Was it this town coming up that had a little store across the tracks from the depot? Or was it the next? It was this one, if he ran he could make it.

"Hey soldier, will you pick up a couple of Hamms for me?"

He squinted into the sun. The voice came from the shadows inside theopened baggage car.

"In here, I am in here, will you pick up couple of Hamms for me? I'll hold the train."

Some things change, others never. The Coalby Cannonball was one of the constants, the train crew was another.

"Going home on furlong?"

The word is furlough, furlough, not furlong. Enlisted men get furloughs,officers get leaves.

"Yes, yes I am."

"You're a Coalby boy aren't you?"

The baggage man was the kind who would talk to himself if there wasn't anyone else around. But, Craft was the kind who would find himself talking to himself if he stayed in that passenger car.

"Want to ride up here with me?"

"Beats that bunch of old women."

"Want one of these beers?"

"Thanks, but no, my mother is meeting me."

"She doesn't want to see her boy all beered up?"

"I don't want her to see her boy all beered up."

"You are a one of those flyers aren't you? Almost every day a soldier boy is on this train going home. I don't see many flyers. How long has it been since you were home, since you saw your mama?"

"A couple of years. I write, she writes, there gets to be less and less to write about. She worries. I've got to let her see her son, you know, let her see for herself that her son is o.k."

"What does your mama think of your being a flyer?

"I try to tell her it is better than the infantry."

"Once, I was almost in the infantry. The last one. I tried to volunteer, I was too young. I'm too old for this one and besides I don't know. I think, maybe, this Hitler and the Germans are right and the Russians are wrong."

"How, so."

"Hitler is fighting those Russian Communists." The man pronounced Russian, roo-shan; communists, comm-in-ists.

"Those communists want to take over the whole world. They have sucked us and the Limeys and the Wall Street Jews into doing their dirty work."

Craft, don't open your big mouth and put your big Justin Flight Boot in it. Look around, put things together. Bismark is north of here, and then there is New Leipzig and Breien and Strasburg and Wiesek and New Ulm. This baggage man has done a lot of listening and not much thinking. "I don't think we got sucked up in anything."

"I think we did."

His we, or Craft's we?

"Did you ever think you might be on the wrong side."

"Does a german think he is on the wrong side?"

"No, he is on that side because Germany is his country."

"I'm on this side because I am an American."

"But you could be wrong, America could be wrong."

"My my country, right or wrong."

It was going to be a long, dusty, hot afternoon. Keep some thoughts about this home coming in the back of your mind. One, your uniform reminds these people that there is a war going on. Two, there are a lot of names, german names around here, Bismark, Muller, Ulm, and some of the feelings are different than yours. Three, you are returning home, you have your wings, you have proved your point, but the home town isn't going to give you one damn thing.

"Be glad to get home?"

"Its kind of scary?"

"Does your mama know you are coming?"

"I wrote her when I finished navigation school."

"Did you send a telegram?"

"No, she will know, she will be waiting."

"I guess mothers are always the same."

It would always be the same, the endless miles and the endless time, from the moment when he could see the white Farmer's Co-op elevator and the black Coalby water tower, until the diesel dinky eased by the stock yards and the elevators and the coal chutes and finished its run at the depot.

He was riding in the vestibule and saw his mother before she saw him. She was standing on the platform anxiously looking up at each of dirty windows, trying to catch a glimpse of him through one of those windows. Did his mother look older, tired, care worn? She didn't. If she had he wasn't going to notice. She was still looking up at the windows when he reached out and touched her.

"Mama."

Wordlessly she took his hand and held it as though he was still her little boy. She let her eyes drift up to study his face. He was there, he was her boy, yes, he was her boy. He was her son. When had he grown so tall, so much taller than she?

"Donald, I knew you were coming. I just knew you were coming, then I didn't see you. Oh, Donald, I'm so glad to have you home." Her words were a jumble of words to mask the feelings she wouldn't put into words.

"I could have sent a telegram. I didn't want you to worry if something went wrong and I couldn't make it." His remarks glossed over his feelings.

"I am glad you came home, how long can you stay?"

"The Army is letting me have a week."

"Then you have to go? Where do you have to go?"

"More training." That was a good answer. She didn't need to know he would be on a crew.

"You look nice in uniform. The Army has been good to you?"

"I guess so."

"Oh, Donald I'm so glad you came. I have so many things planned. Is that your only bag? Do you have more bags on the train?"

"This is it, travelling light. Where is your car? He had looked for the grey Ford while the dinky was pulling in and hadn't see it. His mother was pointing to a shiny golden brown Chrysler.

"That is mine. Mr. Kincaid went to Minneapolis and got it for me." His mother was pleased with the new car. It was her statement. It replaced bitter memories.

"Do you want to drive?"

"You drive, I don't want to scratch your new car."

"Have you had anything to eat?"

"Yes."

"What did you have? You've been on the dinky all day."

"Oreos and a coke."

"Donald." She was going to lecture him about what he ate. She would suggest going to the Swede's. He was not going to face the stares and the wordless questions at the Swede's.

"Donald?"

"Yes."

"You could have some supper at the Swede's."

"Mom, have you had supper?"

"No, I was waiting for you."

"Is there anything in the ice box?"

"Some salad and some cold chicken."

The salad would not be anything left over. The chicken would not be a cut-up hen.

"Could we swing up main street and then go home?"

Until the tension between them eased their exchanges skittered around the points where they might disagree. There was just so much that could be rehashed. She had written him bits of local gossip. He had written her bits of Army life. She was looking at his wings. She resented his flying and before that she resented his model airplanes. "Donny the dreamer, will you ever come down to earth?" "No, mom, you just don't understand."

She still did not understand. He sat across the table from her, picking the last bits of meat from the chicken bones. So far as he knew he was the first from Coalby to come home with silver wings pinned above the left pocket and with a gold bar pinned to the right collar. She was trapped somewhere between a mother's concern and a mother's pride.

"Can I pick up the dishes?"

When his mother looked up at him she was smiling. It was a smile hehad never seen before.

"Donny, Donald, this is the first time you ever offered."

"I guess we all change."

Except that his room had been freshly painted it was, as best he could remember, the same as when he left. Some of his clothes still hung in the closet. Did they still fit? The last model airplane he made and the biblefrom his confirmation were on his dresser. His high school diploma and hisconfirmation certificate were framed and hung on the wall. Donny Craft, 2nd Lt. Donald Elgin Craft had returned to Coalby and to his home.

"You can sleep late."

Tomorrow would be one hell of a day. Tomorrow and most of the rest of the week would be his mother's. He did want to see Kincaid and he did want to see Skip. The others? The others didn't matter. He took the tailored gabardines from the B-4 bag put them in his closet to hang out the creases.

It was the quiet that awakened him. For a year whistles and bugles and engines had jarred him into a new day. It was just too quiet. He had heard his mother moving quietly through the house, she would be dressed, the house would be spotless. Her week's plans were in place.

A place was set for him on the kitchen table.

"Mrs. Forrester has asked us to come for dinner, sunday after church. I've got to go to the store, will you walk uptown with me?" 2nd Lt. Donald Elgin Craft was going to be on parade.

xxxx transition xxxx

Even during the summer Jim's always smelled slightly stale. In the winter it smelled of barn clothes and stale beer and stale cigarette smoke. In summer it smelled of sweat, and dust

"What the hell is going on in here?"

"What do you mean."

"The place looks like a kindergarden."

"The place has always looked like a kindergarden to me. You know, I let your bunch hang out here when you looked about as old as those kids do."

"You never let us drink beer. You wouldn't sell us beer until we finished high school.

"Kids are growing up faster now. Most of them are seventeen, by the time they turn eighteen they will be gone. So now I let them smoke, swear a little, have a couple of beers. Two beers and then the night law walks them home. By the time they have walked home and see a kitchen light on, someone waiting, they are pretty sober."

"I hadn't thought of that. We, my bunch have grown older, I didn't think they would. I guess they will."

"They will grow older faster than you did. You had a chance to look around a little, play around a little, grow up a little, most of them won't get that chance. A year from now most of them will be grunts in the grunt army, fighting and killing and dying. They will be men, fighting and killing and dying a couple of thousand miles from here and they can't walk across this room and sit at my bar and legally have a beer."

"And so you sell them a beer?"

"I sell beer if they have money, I give them a beer of they are broke, and then do you know what I do?"

"No."

"I go behind the bar and cry, not real tears, I can't let them see me."

This was a Jim he had never known. It was odd, here was a man, Jim, as big and mean and tough as they come and he was the one who cried. There was bull shit and bands and flags and speeches and bright smiles and here was a man who cried, but he had to keep his tears to himself.

"Good to be home?"

He could level with Jim. "There was a book, I never read it. 'You Can't Go home Again'. The title says it all. I'm here, I grew up here, but, here, Coalby isn't my home anymore."

"But, your mother was glad to see you?"

"Sure. I had to make peace with her. Family. We had our differences. And it is like Coalby, the town wanted me to be one thing, I want to be something else."

"Different?"

"No, I don't want to be different just to be different. I want to be me, whatever that means."

"But isn't that the way everyone feels?"

"I'm sure everyone feels that way. They would change, be different, that is o.k. but, they don't want the rest of the world to change."

"So, Coalby has changed and you have changed? You feel the difference?"

"That about says it."

"Will you be back after? Have you thought about coming back?"

"I don't know. I do know if I do come back, I'll be a stranger."

"You are lucky, you know. These kids, it will be tough."

xxx transition xxxx

"Let's go a little early"

He had every reason to think he was going to feel self conscious. For one thing he hadn't been in that church since his confirmation. For another, he would be in uniform, possibly the only uniform in the congregation. And for another, his mother was going to have her day, she would be dressed, not only in her best, but a her new best, something from Minneapolis or Denver, hat, gloves and all. She would stand stiffly erect beside him and hold the hymnal with him. If they arrived early they could sit in one of the pews toward the rear. Most of the stares would have to be quick, over the shoulder glances. Then they could be first out, shake hands with the pastor, and miss the approving nods of the anointed.

They were seated when the bells rang. The farmers and their wives were always a little early, and were always a little uncomfortable in J.C. Penny suits that were brushed and pressed each Sunday and put back in the closet with the moth balls until the following sunday. The farm wives, even in summer, wore dark dresses that hung in the same closet. A consession to summer was a white hat, a floral purse and pair of white gloves. The town folk, depending on the age of the family car, either walked or drove. Except for the Doctor and the Lawyer and the Dentist who had sunday suits, the rest of the town men wore their every day suits to church. The town wives were less subdued than their country sisters, and wore tans instead of browns, aquas instead of blues.

What the new pastor's sermon was about this sunday he had no idea and he had never, in the past, ever quite followed a sermon all the way through. But there were ways of seeming attentive. One was to observe the patterns of colored lights as they streamed through the stained windows. Another was taking a silent roll call. Although the congregation had changed, new faces replaced old, there was a noticeable age gap. The congregation was either under twenty or over thirty, the twenty year olds, especially the young men were missing. Pastor Sundvig presented a well shaved, cherubic, face with a sunday smile and offered each parishioner a warm, strong hand.

"Good morning, Ellen." His mother touched the pastor's hand and returned his smile.

"And this of Donald?" Unless his mother had been tom cating around, who else could it be?

"Yes, this is my son Donald, he is home for a few days."

"It is so nice to have one of Coalby's boys come home." Praise be, the pastor wasn't asking pop questions about the sermon and instead offered his hearty hand and his pastor's very special smile. That took care of that.

"Marie is expecting us at one."

Marie? Oh, Elizabeth Marie Forrester, and when did we get back to first names? At one time, two of Coalby's young matrons pushed baby carriages, preambulators?, around the same block and shared first names. But the depression had scratched or bruised many and defeated too many. His mother had been forced to retreat but she had survived and her golden brown Chrysler would be parked in front of the Forrester's.

He glanced at his mother while he waited at the stop sign for a pick-up to make the U-turn in front of the courthouse. She was sitting with her white gloved hands placed on the purse in her lap, she was poised and looking straight ahead. Ace had once made the remark that she was a true gentlewoman. She was, but her calm demeanor was deceptive. Beneath that regal poise she was as canny as a high-stakes gambler and as tough as an army boot. He had never quite thought of it before. He was, he had a hard time putting the word into a thought he was silently phrasing. He was, the word was, proud. He was proud of his mother. It was something more than a boy holding his mother's warm hand.

"Park in front."

Mrs. Ellen Lorraine Craft and her son 2nd Lt. Donald Elgin Craft were having sunday dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Richard Malcom Forrester. My, how formal can we be? With a little editing the item would be in the Local Happenings column of the weekly Pioneer Journal. It might be combined with an item about Lt. Craft's graduation from The Army Air Force Navigtion School and his return to Coalby.

"Oh, Ellen, it is so nice you could come and you look so cool, summery, in that new dress. And Donald, welcome home Donald. My, you are handsome in uniform."

It could be a tedious afternoon.

“All the news that is fit to print.”

By the time Coalby's news was printed in the Pioneer Journal any of the local crimes would have been tried over cups of coffee or back yard fences. The guilty would have been singled out to be socially ostracized.

Some of the names were new but the stories were repeats. It was like being in church. He could tune out Mrs. Forrester and his mother as easily as he had tuned out the pastor. Without being obvious about it, and without turning his head his eyes searched the room for something to hold his attention and make him seem to be alert.

It was the picture above the china cabinet. The picture, an oil? It had always been there, but somehow, something was different. It was a picture of Mrs. Forrester's father's church. He knew that, but now he sensed something he had never sensed before. The church was in a green-blue shadowed valley with a white picket fence around the church yard. That church and that church yard could have been Mrs. Forrester's life. She was christened in that church, confirmed in that church, and had sung in its choir. She could have been married there, seen her children christened and confirmed and married there and in her time been buried there. But, she had traded the quiet security of that sheltered valley for this space almost without horizon.

Two fragments of her conversation caught his attention, “so she married Skip”, and, “when Bud married that girl from Hollywood”. It had been her plan, an ambitious mother's plan, Bud would marry Donna Richardson. That wedding would combine the Forrester cattle empire with the Richardson coal empire and Mrs. Richard Malcom Forrester would have been the grande dame of the empire. That plan went down the drain. She did not attend Donna's wedding. Bud could still come back and marry one of the other local girls, and that went down the drain. 'That girl' had a familiar Coalby tone to it and 'that girl from Hollywood' had a bit more of an iced tone.

Donald Elgin craft, you stay out of this. 'That girl from Hollywood' is Lillian and Lillian was not from Hollywood she was from Beverly Hills and really not from Beverly Hills. Lillian was a farm girl from Oklahoma. Did Mrs. Forrester know he had introduced Lillian to Bud? He was not going to make a point of mentioning it.

And that took care of the Forrester item on the Agenda.

And it took care of driving out to the Wilson place. He could see Skip in town. He was sure he didn't want to see Donna Richardson Wilson. Would she still turn his knees to rubber? He didn't want to know. Had she panicked and married Skip because there was no one else around? He didn't want to know that either.

It was tuesday afternoon when he caught a reflection of himself in a window of Allen's Drug. Just how that reflection told him something of himself he didn't know. He could see himself as an amateur actor who was overplaying a dual role. As a dutiful son he had gone through the motions of being a dutiful son, but his mother was a stranger. Her life in Coalby no longer included him and would never include him.

1As one of Coalby's favorite sons, he had never been favorite son. He had always been an oddity and would always be an oddity. Donald Elgin Craft, you are a ham with a minor role, play out this afternoon's scene and tomorrow's scene and exit stage left.

His mother took him to the depot in her Chrysler, went through the motions of being a dutiful mother and stood on the platform and waved to him while the Coalby Canonball eased over the switch to the main track.

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keirnytee · 8 years ago

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I could hear birds chirping in the distance. It was now morning which meant day 3 had arrived. The sun tried its best to pierce through the windowsill but to no avail. The windows were locked so tightly, the wolf from The Three Little Pigs wouldn’t be able to blow it open. Talk about strength. Like Day 1 and Day 2, I waltzed over to the garden. No other guest wanted to do a shared tour, so once again I would be paying 45 USD for transportation all day. This did not include entrance to my next destination. It was at that juncture I said ‘f— this budget.’

DAY 3 – MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DON’T TOUCH ME

Meet Budi

After riding the elephants on Day 2, and having only been to two locations, I NEEDED to visit the monkey forest. It didn’t matter what I did, the monkey forest just had to be part of the day’s activities. My driver for the day was Budi because Wayan felt poorly. Budi was so confident in himself and I was happy to have him along for the ride. He was definitely more knowledgeable about international music which was a huge plus. Since I had already researched all there is to do within budget, and by research I mean rewatched the Bali episodes from The Real Housewives of Orange County, the forest I wanted to visit, was in Ubud. Another quick search on the internet and the usual suggestions from Rudy’s staff, led me to a bigger monkey forest, Sangeh. I was bothered by this. “What geotag would show up on snapchat?” I thought. But when they said it was cheaper than Ubud, my eyes glistened and ears perked up.

The forest was beautiful. Another first for me. No monkeys were in sight which was a good thing. Let me tell you why. [About 4 years ago I visited my aunt and uncles in Ft Lauderdale, Florida. I love visiting my relatives. Anyways, My aunt and I went to the Swap Shop to purchase a very cheap duffle bag (I see where my frugality comes from). While there, we saw a man with a pet monkey parading around, doing tricks. I was intrigued cuz I’ve never seen a small primate before, only the big orangutans and other species at Zoo Miami (dang that place is hot). I wanted to take a picture with it but realized we had to pay. Like a good negotiator, my aunt got a discount from the 10 USD fee to 7 USD (a bargain is a bargain LOL). To make the story shorter, I panicked the whole time the monkey was on my shoulders. I wanted it off so badly. I decided then I was terrified of monkeys and wouldn’t put myself through that again. Let’s see how that worked out.

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I paid the entrance fee of 2.65 USD and Budi parked the car. One of the many guides walked over to us and the tour began. I was the only tourist on the compound at the time, so if I did anything embarrassing (like run and scream like a petrified little kid) no one would see me. Except for my camera which Budi had to capture and film every moment. I cautiously strolled through the towering entrance and there I saw the little creatures running around. Like clockwork, my heart began to palpitate. Fear washed over me like the moment the walls of parted Red Sea crashed into each other drowning the Egyptians. I looked over at Budi and he was just as scared as I was. Home boy literally took a few steps back saying he’ll zoom in to get my shots. Before I could get myself together, not one, not two, not three but FOUR, four freaking monkeys attached me at once. Paralyzed. I knew how Vicki Gunvalson from The Real Housewives of Orange County felt when the monkeys jumped on her. (She may or may not have been putting on a front for the cameras but fake or not, those monkeys weren’t playing around.) I should note that they weren’t scratching me not was I in any danger. The little buggers were after my Oreo cookies which was in the side of my bag. I won’t do that again.

After I calmed down, I took some beautiful shots of the forest and its residents. Group by group, more tourists trickled in. I think they caught a little bit of my mini meltdown. I didn’t mind as much because I could see the nerves on their faces and the shrieks from those further in the forest. I wasn’t being extra after all. Though I panicked for most of the tour, I ‘overcame’ my fear. Haha! I definitely recommend.

Enough monkeying around, let’s get going. (Always wanted to say this LOL.)

ONCE AROUND TAMAN AYUN

Bali, well Indonesia at large is very spiritual. Their main religion is Hinduism. So after Sangeh it was time to visit another temple. You’d think I would be bored of seeing temples by now, but every temple had its own unique quality. This was a rather old and undisturbed temple. Usually, Balinese people would be gathered to or have already given an offering on the temple grounds. But Taman Ayun had no sign of worship. The temple was surrounded by water both on the inside and outside of its grounds. The grass was so green and well manicured. Mother Nature tried it again but the higher power spoke and a light shun down on the temple so bright, I immediately felt blessed.

I realized soon after that light was from feeling fatigued due to hunger. It was time to have lunch. I’ve been pretty strict with my cheap meal plans, so Budi decided to stop at this restaurant after leaving the temple. When we got there the prices were so high but the food looked to good to pass up. I ended up staying, took in the view and ordered the cheapest of the most expensive meals for…10 USD. Haha! Yes I was in Bali, but I had to do the conversion to determine how much money I was spending.

FROM SUNRISE TO TENAH LOT

The last stop for the day was one of the most talked about spots in Bali, Tenah Lot Temple. Everyone kept saying it’s so beautiful because it stretches out into the sea and looks amazing at sunset. When we arrived and paid 6 USD entrance fee (gotta put that in their), it was about 2 hours till sunset. Could we wait that long? Budi looked at me and I looked at him. Almost simultaneously we both said nah! The day was getting hotter and I could tell Budi was tired. I suggested he take a rest and have something to eat. I didn’t want him over extending himself all for me, especially when I was fully capable of taking care of myself. Tenah Lot’s beauty was unlike anything I’ve see. The view was like a painting from Gustave Courbet. People from all over flocked this temple. Two Chinese women asked me to take photos with them as well some school girls who seemed to be on a field trip. Did I mention it was hot?

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Budi rejoined me and we walked over to the shore where we would have to take our shoes off, rolls our pants up and walked into the ocean to get to one of the temples. I was so psyched about the idea, then I realized we had to make another contribution before we could pass. I rolled my eyes all the way back. I wasn’t interested anymore. I did the next best thing and took my shirt off so my body could feel the cool air blowing from the sea, without the hindrance of a tank top. I didn’t even think if my actions would count as public nudity but hey, technically we were at the beach. The sun took forever to set and like we had initially agreed, we wouldn’t stay much longer to see it because it would take us about 2 hours to get back to the resort.

On our way back, I felt the need for fast food so we went to Jaya Fried Chicken (JFC for short). Like, why would I go to KFC in Bali when I knew how it tasted. I was served two pieces of chicken, a rice ball and a drink for 3 USD. I wasn’t blown away but at least the need was satisfied. I would turn Twenty 7 the next day so I was eager to get to bed. Stay tuned for the epic conclusion of my birthday trip in part 4. Till next time.

reallyGOBBY: Keirn

TWENTY 7 IN BALI: Part 3 I could hear birds chirping in the distance. It was now morning which meant day 3 had arrived.

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