#only to rewatch the movie at 23 and figure out i had a crush on keira knightley as well

[fiumedivita]

Heartstopper 1x06 spoilers:

-

-

Nick watching Pirates of Carebbean and going "oh maybe I'm bi" feels like a huge attack on me, because it literally took me 15 years to reach that same conclusion

[glittertrail]

I posted 12.953 times in 2021

112 posts created (1%)

12841 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 114.7 posts.

I added 251 tags in 2021

#replies - 68 posts

#personal - 46 posts

#never ending playlist - 42 posts

#attachment - 22 posts

#about both of them - 18 posts

#thanks for the ask🥰💖 - 12 posts

#prev tags - 11 posts

#about leon - 11 posts

#psoh feels - 11 posts

#aquarius - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#also i grew up on arepas and they are okay but ppl in my home country can't fathom how can i survive not having one for breakfast every day

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

que el mcu en español se traduzca a ucm nunca me dejara de hacer gracia

11 notes • Posted 2021-11-10 19:40:17 GMT

#4

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

thanks for the tag @gardenarcana (i'm sorry i hadn't seen this before)

favorite color: pink and aquamarine

currently reading: her body and other parties by carmen maria machado and all of the drabbles @junosjukebox has written in the last idk month or so?

last song you listened to: crush by seventeen

last series: rewatching the nanny for the 5th thousandth time because comfort show

last movie: french dispatch

savory, sweet or spicy: sweet

cravings: chocolate and pad thai

currently working on: the december's social calendar from hell and recovery related things

No pressure Tags: @sapphicfolch @violet-amore @stephanieschildren @msaudreyanne @woodswit (or anyone else that wants to do this ofc)

12 notes • Posted 2021-11-12 23:50:24 GMT

#3

this probably matters zero bc i always have a 300 post queue but if we're mutuals and you wonder why I'm ignoring your posts and have suddenly not been annoying, i just refuse to waste my data plan on tumblr till the wifi at home gets fixed

13 notes • Posted 2021-11-29 18:19:34 GMT

#2

I was tagged by @aquafinha to do this (thank you Katie🥰💖)

1. Why did you choose your url?:

for a long time my personal brand was the friend that loved glitter vfx and makeup in general, ofc i would go all out and leave trails of glitter everywhere lmao also i like having a url that is recognizable but not fandom affiliated

2. Any side blogs?:

yes lmao so many but the active ones are only @ellavaday for rpdr stuff, @ccantaloup for cute animal videos food and reminders to be kind to yourself (it is where a lot of... not particularly good stuff used to be documented and instead of deleting it i decided to rebrand it and keep it as a reminder to myself) and @ateneawrites for fic writing (this one's a baby and it's brand new bc i haven't written for fun in a good 6 years, i'm rusty but definitely having fun at least)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?:

2010ish

4. Do you have a queue tag?:

nope, y'all gotta figure out if i'm online or not by yourselves lmao (it's not hard i usually blog a lot of things in a row when i'm online vs one post every half an hour when i'm not)

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?:

i had just moved to a new continent and didn't have many friends and was bored

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?:

because i lost my old one😭 i put a cute pic of a ghost for halloween and lost the one i had before of a bottle shaped like a heart that said poison 😔 the one i currently have just looked okay with the no header look i like on mobile

7. Why did you choose your header?:

i don't like the look of headers 😬

8. What’s your post with the most notes?:

in this blog? It's buried bc this blog is old as sin but it's either a post about leon orcot from psoh or effie trinket from thg, rn it's a screenshot of choriza may's last look on the rpdr runway because this might not be the drag race blog but the stickers of a peach with "chocho" written on it definitely belongs to this blog lmao

9. How many mutuals do you have?:

probably about a hundred-ish but i am not sure since the rpdr blog is quite more popular than my main

10. How many followers do you have?:

this blog has about 1.1k and the drag race blog has about 4.8k followers (which is absolutely insane but most of those have to be inactive by now tbh.. that sideblog exploded when i first made it bc of t&k), fully have no clue about the other ones but those are the ones i frequent the most

11. How many people do you follow?:

367

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?:

have i made anything but shitposts?

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?:

i started to check it daily again just recently, kind of left it abandoned in 2017 but i'm here probably more often than i should currently

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once?:

never, the unfollow button is right there and blocking is not hard should that not suffice

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?:

same as katie, i get annoyed, it usually just ensures i ignore it, specially, no offense, if it's got to do with the us

16. Do you like tag games?:

love them

17. Do you like ask games?:

love those too!

my favorite thing is the mutuals that will send you things to your ask box unprompted too btw or play things like "assign me a time period in history" or a dessert (@msaudreyanne @woodswit @jackredfieldwasmyjacob are probably some of my favorite people to follow bc of those things)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?:

depends on what we consider famous, i think some of them have got def more engagement than most, if that counts as famous then @woodswit @msaudreyanne and @legallybrunette1997 qualify

if we go by "people that represent their fandom" i think I'd be remiss not to add @goldenliartrash and @sapphicfolch to the list (hello ministericos how are we doing) and then @ellanainthetardis (or hayffie fanfiction god) and @junosjukebox and @veronicasanders (for rpdr fanfiction specifically)

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?:

a couple that i'm v good friends irl with now since i firmly believe in being a tiny bit in love with your friends 🥰

(no pressure) tags: @kindlichekaiserins @sapphicsupremacist @dykegoblins @amillcitygirl @gardenarcana @poliearbear @lissette @timelordsensate @katya-zamos @doumekiss @1-800-heller @papitati @stephanieschildren , any of the people i tagged before while answering this and anyone else who wishes to do this

18 notes • Posted 2021-11-25 17:00:54 GMT

#1

Obsessed with these stickers, i too would like a giant peach sticker that says chocho

33 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 09:48:01 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[coolnerdyandalone]

on FIMQ deleting her content and COVID-19 (and a gratuitous larry fic rec)

@freddiesmyqueen first of all queen i hope you’re doing ok although i know some shit must have gone down for you to delete/private list all your videos and i hope you know that the larry community supports you always. Also your talent is TRULY unmatched in the world of video editing - no one makes edits quite like you and that’s why your loss impacts the community so profoundly. 

secondly, i know at least i was hoping to turn to rewatching all of FIMQ’s videos while i’m being quarantined due to the coronavirus. and i’m willing to bet that i’m not the only one. this is a scary time and for people like me who feel profoundly alone right now, the only way for me to calm my nerves and fears is by reverting to the content and community that helped me feel not so alone when i was in middle and high school. For me, that looks like watching FIMQ videos and reading my favorite larry fanfics (which i will also link below).  because of this i thought it might be helpful to repost some links that were posted by @bluemoonlarryandkaylor for a signal boost (if my teeny-tiny account can be called a signal boost). 

link to a google drive with FIMQ videos: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1ONwfLOd_IYvAL5OUDqDb_LLgQsDpd9il

link to an acct with some FIMQ re-uploads: https://www.youtube.com/user/Joana3961/videos

link to FIMQ vids with spanish subtitles: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIouodFhArMkQhOHxv2t2NgxTwl6KvXAT

and now if you want to look at some good old fashioned larry fics that are my ABSOLUTE faves and could 100% be actual novels/movies, keep reading:

And Then A Bit** by @infinitelymint aka the best fanfic ever written (basically larry fakes a relationship for publicity with each other and it could be cannon if you really wanted to hope upon hopes): https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415272/chapters/2972746 (159k)

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

Escapade** by @haydolce aka the Jack McQueen fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4034197/chapters/9071932 (146k)

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He's rich. He's handsome. He's reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

California Sold** by @isthatyoularry​ : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5157680/chapters/11877494 (123k)

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Bring Your Body Baby (I Could Bring You Fame) by @theboyfriendstagram : https://archiveofourown.org/works/4263903/chapters/9652944 (84k)

Eighteen year old Harry Styles just graduated high school and landed a summer job as a waterboy for his favorite football team. His job description is simple: be ready to hand water and towels to players if needed. That didn’t seem to include Louis Tomlinson though, a twenty-three year old, recently transferred Paris Saint-German player, who seems to like making Harry’s job much more difficult than it has to be.

OR  

A self-indulgent AU that takes place over the summer of 2015. 18 year old Harry hates pining after people he can't have, and 23 year old footballer Louis loves flirting with people even though it never means anything.

Pull Me Under** by @zarah5 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766/chapters/1672104 (140k)

AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis' favourite teammate, Liam as Louis' agent, and Zayn as Liam's boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.) 

You You You** by @isthatyoularry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/846690/chapters/1617212 (137k)

“Infamous boybander leaves club together with unknown,” read the headline. Underneath were pictures of a boy with dark curls, green eyes and very tight pants. They both studied the article for a moment, reading it through quickly. “Is that…?” Louis frowned. That guy almost looked exactly like... "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" "Louis," Niall said, looking absolutely fucked over. "You just fucked the most wanted guy on earth. You just fucked Harry Styles of One Direction."

Or, the one where Harry and Louis meet at a club and Louis takes Harry home, only for him to realize that the boy who just made him breakfast half naked is Harry Styles from One Direction.

Like an Endless Summer by @horsegirlharry : https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365494/chapters/25442085 (87k)

“You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

Three French Hems by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/3064493 (20k)

In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

The Dead of July aka the Marvel Fic by @whimsicule  : https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594570/chapters/7928520 (117k)

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

Gods & Monsters by  @mizzwilde : https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090982/chapters/4550871 (201k)

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.

Love is a Rebellious Bird aka LIARB aka the orchestra fic aka dont hum bolero by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162438/chapters/2362331 (135k)

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

My English Love Affair** by @isthatyoularry​ : https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873962 (19k)

The thing about sleeping with a member of a famous indie band is that the inevitability of having a song written about you is most likely a hundred percent. The second thing is that in the end, nobody's supposed to find out it's about you.

The one where Harry writes a song about his English love affair and Louis sleeps with someone in White Eskimo and all he gets is a stupid song written about him.

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose by @haydolce : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799241/chapters/13366498 (113k)

American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).

Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.

A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

Wild and Unruly aka the Cowboy fic by @100percentsassy and @gloriaandrews : https://archiveofourown.org/works/2723093/chapters/6099611 (124k)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

For As Long As I Can Remember (It’s Been December)** by @greenfeelings​ : https://archiveofourown.org/works/15051122/chapters/34892210 (128k)

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

the boys of fall** aka the american football fic by @godgavemelou​ : https://archiveofourown.org/works/5443037 (21k)

“And everyone, this is Harry Styles. He’s going to be our starting quarterback this year.”

Louis looks at him, the tall and lanky Harry Styles, and takes it all in. He’s got hair to his shoulders that curls at the ends, tattoos all down his arms, and a bright smile on his face as the team cheers him on. He’s lean and fit, and absolutely beautiful, and Louis hates him to the core.

OR an american football au where the boys play for the university of tennessee, and harry and louis quite hate each other.

** indicates that the fic is a log-in required fic, but if you want the pdf i can send it to you

[melanielocke]

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 23

AO3

Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised

@alastair-appreciation-month

Previous Chapter: Chapter 22

Next Chapter: Chapter 24

Alastair was exhausted. By the time they made it back, it was seven in the evening even if they’d been in the land in between for much shorter. He was cold, still soaking wet, and he didn’t want to know what had been in the water that had flooded the dungeon. He imagined he and Cordelia both smelt terrible, but completely covered in it, Alastair could not smell it himself. It was frustrating, because Thomas and Lucie did not indicate anything about their scent, but Alastair suspected they did smell whatever had been in that water and were just too polite to mention it. Thomas didn’t touch him and kept a little more distance than he usually did.

All the way back to the Herondale’s manor, Cordelia and Alastair were arguing about who could use the bathroom first, until Lucie pointed out there was a second bathroom connected to the master bedroom.

‘Why do you both want to go second anyway?’ Thomas asked. ‘I’d imagine you’d argue about who gets to go first.’

‘Because I am cold and dirty and want to use the bathroom for at least an hour, and if I go first, Cordelia will start yelling at me to hurry up after about ten minutes,’ Alastair said.

Thomas tilted his head. ‘And if she goes first?’

‘Then I will yell at her to get out after ten minutes,’ Alastair said. ‘And since I am freezing I’d be completely justified.’

‘We both have very excessive bathroom rituals,’ Cordelia added. ‘Especially when we’re this dirty. But staying in there for an hour would be rude if someone else also needs to use the bathroom. So whoever goes second can yell and be completely justified, and then has all the time they need to get warm and clean. It’s a good thing there are two bathrooms and we can both go take a shower.’ .’

Two separate bathrooms sounded good. He remembered his childhood home had had that too, before his father had been forced to sell the family home when Alastair was around five. Jem had bought it back a couple of years ago, but Alastair found it difficult to imagine why one person needed a house that big. Although he guessed Jem had grown up there too and had lost his parents at a young age, so perhaps there were sentimental reasons.

Both the Herondales and the Lightwoods were at the manor. Will and Tessa were reading as usual, Sophie was tidying something up in the kitchen and Gideon was pacing back and forth until he noticed the four of them.

‘Finally, you’re back,’ Gideon said, concern written all over his face. ‘What happened?’

‘We got the skin,’ Cordelia said. ‘Grace is free. But the dungeon the skin was hidden in was completely flooded, so if you don’t mind I want to use the bathroom. Alastair and I both do, and Lucie mentioned there was a second bathroom.’

In the end Cordelia took the bathroom connected to Will and Tessa’s bedroom while Alastair took the one upstairs, glad to finally have some peace. He was exhausted as well as cold and dirty. There was a huge bathtub in there and Alastair turned on the water while getting in the shower to first rinse off the worst of the filth and to get warm again. He got out of the shower when he felt like he was semi clean and the bath tub was nearly full. Even if he’d been in the shower for some time and felt a lot cleaner than before, he was still so cold. He got in the bathtub. There was even a bubble bath function, exactly how rich was Lucie’s grandmother?

Perhaps he should ask Thomas to join him here sometime. He imagined that would be nice. Alastair allowed himself to relax. Although he was exhausted, he did feel a lot better than yesterday. At least with Grace freed, he felt like he’d accomplished something. Like he wasn’t useless and deserved to be liked again. That was something he often struggled with.

He sought out memories, but unlike other days he didn’t seek out the bad ones. Right now he wasn’t seeking to make sense of the past, nor was he interested in hurting himself. Instead, he let himself settle comfortably into a memory of Thomas confessing his feelings to him, of their first kiss. It wasn’t all bad, the memories.

When he was younger, they didn’t have a lot of movies at home, so sometimes they would rewatch movies Cordelia had seen at Lucie’s place instead. His mother had been a little concerned about that, usually children being too quiet was bad news but them sitting on the couch for over an hour in the same position was just weird.

Lucie had a tendency to talk through movies, so Alastair had come to associate certain scenes in the Little Mermaid or Aladdin with her commentary. Alastair had always loved Aladdin as a child. Although now he was far more critical of the strange way in which the movie mixed together Persian, Arabic and Indian culture and architecture, at the time Aladdin had been one of the few movies with a main character who looked like him.

He returned to reality after a while, finally warm again and decided to stay in bath for a little longer. Bubble baths really were nice, Alastair guessed if he had ever had enough money for one he’d buy a bubble bath. In the current economical climate he doubted he’d even be able to buy a home, but he could dream.

***

Thomas was busy in the kitchen with his mother. He liked to cook, and was quite good at it. From a young age he’d wanted to go into the kitchen and look at what his mother was doing there, or help out. Barbara was a decent cook but didn’t love it like he and his mother did, and Eugenia had been banned from using the kitchen, but Thomas had picked up cooking quite easily. Now, they were making a vegan shepherd’s pie, Thomas was cutting the onion, trying to cut the pieces as tiny as possible. Compared to his mother, he was less sensitive to onion and was therefore always giving that task while cooking together.

‘Were you surprised?’ he asked out of a sudden. ‘When you and dad found out I like boys?’

His mother threw away the potato peels. ‘Not really. I remember when you were fourteen and would come home from school. You could only talk about this older boy you’d met, about how beautiful his dark hair and eyes were.’

Thomas realized his mother had a point, that wasn’t exactly subtle. And he couldn’t talk about his feelings for Alastair with his friends, so instead he’d talked about him at home. ‘That boy was Alastair,’ he said.

‘Really?’ his mother asked. ‘Now that you mention it, that was his name, but we never met him.’

‘I think dad suggested I invite him over for dinner, but Alastair barely acknowledged me back then and I didn’t dare. Nor do he think he would have accepted.’

‘And while you were singing his praises, James and Matthew could only complain about him. So we figured there had to be a reason why you thought he was perfect when your friends thought he was awful. We weren’t sure it was a crush, or if there was some other reason, we figured it was best to let you figure that out on your own.’

Thomas hadn’t realized it was so obvious, but looking back it was a miracle anyone had missed it.

‘Thanks for that. I don’t think I was ready to talk about it at that age, even if I wasn’t exactly subtle. We do have a bit of a history. While I was in love with him, he was awful to us. I think I idealized him then, because he was beautiful and smart and appeared so confident, and I downplayed his rudeness. But he isn’t like that anymore, he grew up and changed and he apologized for his behavior at school.’

‘People change,’ his mother said. ‘I believe people deserve a second chance. Especially when someone was so young when they made mistakes.’

‘Exactly. And now I feel like I’m getting to know the real him. You and dad, you do like him right?’

‘Of course we do,’ Sophie said. ‘He’s been nothing but polite, although a bit blunt. Your father sees himself in Alastair, he thinks Alastair struggles with connecting to people because of his past, and wants to help.’

‘Alastair thinks you only like him for his ability and his willingness to save me,’ Thomas said. ‘I’m not sure why he thinks that, it seemed unlikely and he couldn’t really explain his line of thinking either.’

Sophie sat down at the kitchen table, cutting the carrots. ‘When you’ve been treated badly in the past, it can become difficult to accept kindness. At some point, you start to expect people aren’t sincere, they can’t be trusted, because that’s all they’ve known.

It was difficult for me, at first, to trust your father’s kindness because I knew people were not always genuine, because I’d been hurt before and I was scared it would happen again. Because I thought, with this scar, who could believe I’m beautiful?’

Before meeting his father, his mother had been in a relationship with a man who’d cut open her face when she’d broken up with him. He’d claimed that if he couldn’t have her, he’d make sure no one else would want her. The cut had left a scar across her cheek and her ex had eventually gone to prison.

Thomas didn’t know the details, but suspected her ex had been abusive before the break up already. People didn’t always realize how dangerous leaving could be for an abuse victim. His mother’s ex had turned to carving up her face with a knife. Benedict Lightwood had decided to sacrifice his wife when he realized she was leaving. He had to admire Alastair for being brave enough to leave his ex. Even if someone wasn’t physically violent it couldn’t be easy.

‘Do you think he distrusts your and dad’s kindness because of that?’ Thomas asked.

‘I think that’s likely,’ Sophie said. ‘I think he blames himself for what happened to him, and might not believe it’s possible for other people to genuinely care for him. Perhaps he thinks people have treated him badly because he’s a bad person, or perhaps he thinks that he’s too broken to be loved. Perhaps to him it is so unlikely that we care for him that it makes more sense that we are kind because we want something from him.’

Thomas figured it was something like that. But what did to mean for Alastair’s feelings for him? Did Alastair think he too would abandon him if things became too difficult? Or did he think Thomas would only stay with him as long as he could satisfy his needs, with no care for his own? Did he feel guilty about falling into that flashback last night when Thomas had touched him, like he was not good enough? Thomas wanted to make him understand that it wasn’t true, that he loved Alastair and wouldn’t abandon him, but he wasn’t sure how.

‘How do I convince him that’s not true?’ Thomas asked.

‘The only thing we can do is let him know we care,’ his mother said. ‘And be patient with him. Does he communicate his feelings to you?’

‘He tends to be honest and rather blunt with his feelings,’ Thomas said. ‘I like that about him.’

When Alastair wanted to be honest, he wasn’t one to dance around the message or his feelings. He was very straightforward and blunt in what he wanted to say, not much like what was common in Britain, to hide behind politeness. Thomas found it refreshing, to know that when Alastair said something nice he meant every word of it.

‘So make sure you communicate with him as well,’ his mother said. ‘I know you struggle with verbalizing your emotions, but you have to let him know how you feel or he might end up believing you don’t really care for him.’

Thomas nodded. His mother was right, he did struggle with telling people how he felt. Most of the time, it was because he was scared his feelings would inconvenience other people. He was determined not to do that to Alastair though, he knew his feelings for him weren’t inconvenient and they weren’t shameful. Nevertheless sometimes it was hard just to get the words past his lips. Perhaps that was why he’d waited so long to come out when he’d wanted to for some time. Ultimately, kissing Alastair when they would see was easier than telling them, but he knew he could not communicate with Alastair the same way, he’d have to tell him how he felt as well as show it.

‘Was it difficult for you, entering a new relationship after the last one had ended so badly?’ Thomas asked.

‘It took a while until I was ready,’ his mother said. ‘At first, I thought, who would want me now that I have this scar? I think Alastair might feel the same way, even if his scars aren’t literal like mine is. It took some time before I started believing Gideon when he said I was beautiful. That is a process, and all you can do is support him and be gentle with him while he works through that.’

‘Last night, something I did triggered a flashback,’ Thomas admitted. ‘I thought he was okay with it, I think he thought so too. Or maybe he was scared to refuse because of how his ex used to treat him. Something I did reminded him of his ex and he panicked.’

‘Did you communicate what you both wanted?’ his mother asked.

Thomas had to think. He’d asked, of course, and Alastair had said yes. But perhaps what they needed was a more in depth discussion of what they both liked and what Alastair was comfortable with.

‘Yes. He likes it when I ask for consent before kissing or touching him. I think he didn’t see it coming. That it would trigger a flashback, I mean. But I don’t want to hurt him, and I think maybe he feels like he isn’t a good partner if he’s not ready to have sex? I’m not sure exactly, but I think his ex was very demanding when it came to sex.’

‘It’s best to ask him,’ Sophie said. ‘You said he usually honest and blunt with his feelings, so I think if you ask him how he feels about sex, he’ll tell you. Those aren’t always easy conversations, but it’s the best way to make sure you don’t accidently hurt him. And I think when you accidently trigger something, it’s best to apologize and move on when he does. Lingering on it might make him feel worse.’

They finished the shepherd’s pie and put it in the oven. Thomas always struggled with preheating the oven at the right time, he didn’t want to leave it on for a long time while he wasn’t ready to put anything in it, but it was also annoying when everything was finished but he had to wait for the oven to get warm. It was another half an hour until it was done, which would give Alastair and Cordelia plenty of time to finish bathing. Thomas hadn’t wanted to say anything but they did smell awful after coming out of that dungeon soaking wet, and he could tell they were both chilled to the bone. He hoped neither of them would get sick.

Thomas sat down on the couch with his father and Lucie. ‘I’d been waiting for you,’ Lucie said. ‘I thought it would be better with you here.’

Gideon frowned. ‘What’s going on?’

‘This might be difficult to process,’ Lucie said. ‘While I was waiting in the land in between, I saw a ghost. Not like I usually see ghosts, she was only half there, transparent like in the movies. Until I asked her to show herself so Thomas could see her too. When I was back in our world, I could do the same thing. According to Grace, I stole a soul back from the thief of souls.’

‘You stole a soul?’ Gideon asked. ‘I’m not sure I’m following. Is she a ghost now?’

‘She’s right here,’ Lucie said. ‘A ghost, yes, but no longer trapped. She’s your mother.’

‘My… mother?’ His father seemed in shock, his voice a whisper. ‘You mean to say she’s here?’

‘She’s been trapped for a long time until I found here. She didn’t realize how much time had passed until we told her and she found out Thomas was your son. She wants to talk to you if that’s alright with you.’

Thomas found it difficult to imagine what his father must be feeling. Would he be happy for a chance to see his mother, or would it only tear open old wounds? He knew Lucie had done the right thing to set her free, and hoped she could find peace and way to move on from this world, but he wasn’t sure it was kind to his father. Not telling him was infinitely worse though.

‘Yes, of course. How does this work? Do you tell me what she’s saying?’

‘Actually, I can make her visible,’ Lucie said. ‘Barbara, show yourself.’

Barbara Lightwood appeared once more, standing in the middle of the living room. She looked a bit disoriented, glancing around before settling her gaze on his father.

‘Gideon. It has been so long,’ she said. ‘Last I remember you were still so small. I’m so sorry for leaving you.’

‘That wasn’t your fault,’ his father said, tears in his eyes.

Thomas wondered if he should leave, if this was a private conversation, but Lucie couldn’t leave since she had made Barbara visible. Perhaps he should stick around for emotional support?

His father had a long conversation with Barbara, telling him about his life, about Thomas’ sisters. Barbara started crying too when she realized Thomas’ oldest sister was named after her.

Thomas imagined Barbara had to be devastated to learn what Tatiana was up to and hoped she could find peace with it. He didn’t think Tatiana could be persuaded to stop by a mother she didn’t even remember. Gideon was the only one of her children who remembered his mother at all, although uncle Gabriel claimed to have a few very vague memories even if he could not recall her face and had no concept of who she had been.

Alastair entered the living room, his hair still damp but otherwise dry, wearing a clean dark green button up shirt with black jeans. Thomas went to him, he didn’t think they’d explained to Alastair what had happened or who Barbara was.

‘That’s the soul Lucie took back, isn’t it?’ Alastair asked.

‘Yes. Her name is Barbara, and she is my grandmother.’

‘Benedict’s wife? The one he sacrificed?’

‘Exactly. Somehow Lucie saw her and when she made her visible, she pulled her through to the world she was in, and now she’s here.’

Alastair looked concerned. ‘Do you think the thief of souls will try to take her back?’

‘I’m not sure. But if she moves on, we think she should be safe. How are you?’

‘Tired, but feeling a bit better. The bubble bath was nice, you should try it sometime.’

Thomas wondered if Alastair meant he should try it because it was nice or he wanted them to use the bubble bath together. He didn’t dare ask for clarification. He’d be far too embarrassed if it turned out Alastair had no desire to take a bath together. Just after he’d told himself he’d have a conversation with Alastair about sex and what he wanted.

‘Maybe I will,’ Thomas said, not sure what he meant he’d do. He wasn’t opposed to taking a bubble bath with Alastair, but wasn’t sure Alastair was ready for something so intimate. He’d ask later, he told himself. ‘You smell nice.’

All traces of whatever dirt he’d been in were gone. Instead, he smelt sharp and minty, but also sweet.

‘Just my shampoo. And I guess also the scrub, bath oil and body cream, but they all have the same scent.’

‘I like it,’ Thomas said. ‘Like eucalyptus, maybe?’

‘That’s in the products I use, yes,’ Alastair said. ‘Are you alright?’

Thomas guessed Alastair had read some worry on his face. ‘Well, I never knew my grandmother so it’s mostly confusing. I think it’s hard for my father though. He lost his mother when he was five, it’s been a very long time and seeing her again has to be painful.’

‘I can’t even imagine what that’s like,’ Alastair said. ‘But I’m happy for him that he gets the chance to talk to her even if it’s only once. He deserves that.’

‘They really do care for you, you know,’ Thomas said, returning to the kitchen with Alastair in tow to check on their shepherd pie.

‘Your parents?’ Alastair asked.

‘Yes.’

‘I don’t know,’ Alastair said, head bowed down, avoiding eye contact.

‘I just asked my mother, she likes you and you remind my dad of him when he was younger. They both care. I’m not sure why you have this idea that they don’t, but I thought you should know.’

‘I don’t know how to explain,’ Alastair said, still refusing to look him in the eye.

Thomas guessed eye contact might be difficult for him. Lucie was the opposite, staring into people’s eyes so much it became uncomfortable. She was a writer, after all, and how else was she to know Thomas’ hazel eyes had both hints of green and gold in there?

‘My mother thinks it’s because you were hurt so badly you find it difficult to believe people could love you. If you want, you could talk to her about it. I may not know what it’s like, but she does. Her ex hurt her too.’

‘Not everyone is as easy to love as you are, Tom,’ Alastair said with a sigh. ‘Now that you’ve seen the extent of my scars, how long until you realize that I’m just not worth the pain?’

His mother was right, Alastair did believe he could not be loved. He believed Thomas would grow tired of him? That it was painful and difficult to be with someone like him and it wasn’t worth it? How could Thomas make him see that he was wrong, that he was loved and that he deserved that?

‘You are worth it,’ Thomas said, running a finger through Alastair’s soft dark hair. ‘Having a mental illness doesn’t make you unworthy of love, it doesn’t make you too difficult.’

‘You realize that this might never go away, right?’ Alastair said finally looking up. Thomas realized with a shock there were tears in his eyes. ‘I still have hope for EMDR, but PTSD is a very difficult disorder to treat. Perhaps it will get better over time, but it might not.’

Thomas imagined that was a difficult idea for Alastair to cope with, knowing that he might never get better. He’d read a lot on PTSD in the past week, and it was true that it was difficult to treat, especially when caused by prolonged childhood abuse. But according to his admittedly limited internet research, even then people could learn to cope better, find better support. One metaphor he’d found interesting was how the symptoms were like waves of the ocean, Alastair might not be able to stop them but he could learn to surf.

‘And if it doesn’t go away, I’ll still want to be with you,’ Thomas said. ‘I’d still do the best I could to support you. My feelings for you are not conditional on you getting better, although I certainly hope you do. For your sake.’

‘It’s easy to say that now,’ Alastair said softly, once more refusing to look him in the eye.

‘I’ll prove it to you then,’ Thomas said. ‘I don’t care how long it takes until you believe me, but I’ll keep proving I care about you.’

‘Just how do I intend to do that?’ Alastair asked.

‘Well, I’m still figuring that out but it would involve lots of cuddling. And my mother thinks it’s important that I tell you how I really feel, so I’m going to do that too.’

Alastair’s expression changed, showing a small smile someone else might have missed. ‘I’d like that. When will you be next available for cuddling?’

‘Give me a moment, I need to check on the shepherd’s pie. You need to eat and I couldn’t feed you burnt food.’

Thomas checked the oven, everything looked fine and needed a little more time in the oven. He set the timer and returned his attention to Alastair.

‘I am available right now if you want. Another ten minutes until we can eat.’

[fizzyhosh]

tagged by @kabeswaters !!!! love u big time

1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? .... 3

2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #onedirectionstan

3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? gross Harry Styles

4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? get ready for disappointment but the good thing is one direction would be to my musical as abba is to mamma mia

5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i have strong ambitions but they are outweighed by executive dysfunction so lots of adults like teachers just think I'm lazy 🤪🥴

6. what’s your wake up ritual? currently it's get up at 2pm, look at discord, snapchat, and instagram, then eat some gosh darn food

7. what’s your go to bed ritual? this is so unhealthy I know grab a snack and a soda and scroll mindlessly on social media until I get tired, get up and brush my teeth, go back to my bed and put on my sleep playlist (called sleeby) and set a time so it stops playing after I fall asleep

8. what’s your favorite time of day? despite the fact that I get up in the afternoon, it's actually like 10am that's a goooood time

9. your go to for having a good laugh? I look up Niall Horan laugh complications it genuinely works every time

10. dream country to visit? Germany or Italy

11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my 19th birthday my roommates had a surprise party for me and I was so shocked and almost cried bc it was so sweet and bc made me anxious

12. heels or flats/sneakers? I thought that said heelys :(( but sneakers

13. vintage or new? vintaaaage

14. who do you want to write your obituary? uh idk hopefully none of my current family bc I don't want to die before them cause that'll mean I die young??? this question is making me overthink so I'm just gonna say Ewan Gregor and move on

15. style icon? this chick named mathilda on Instagram you might have seen her on insta or Pinterest she's a redhead but her style is brilliant

16. what are three things you cannot live without? music, dr. pepper, eggos

17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? I sound so white but SALT I salt the heck outta everything

18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Steve Irwin, Harry Styles, Freddie Mercury

19. what’s your biggest fear in life? dying while I'm taking a shower and having my family find my naked, wet, dead body falling out of love. which makes me not want to fall IN love bc then the chance of falling OUT of love becomes a possibility

20. window or aisle seat? window window window window window

21. what’s your current tv obsession? not really obsessed with anything rn but I rewatch new girl every chance I get

22. favorite app? instagram

23. secret talent? I can wiggle my ears

24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? i flew to New Orleans during a break with two of my friends bc they found $60 round trip tickets. We bought the tickets the day before. We literally got to NOLA at 7am and left 8pm the next day. only spontaneous/adventurous thing i have ever done

25. how would you define yourself in three words? funny, understanding, quiet

26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my overalls :'))

27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a jean jacket !! looks good on anyone and with anything and they're so cute

28. a superpower you would want? to make people see themselves as their loved ones see them

29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? music I'm fixated on one direction and harry styles and louis tomlinson rn of you cant tell by a lot of my answers

30. best piece of advice you’ve received? don't apologize because you like something. don't be embarrassed that you have preferences

31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? be unapologetically you. life is too short to feel guilty for having opinions.

32. a book everyone should read? me and earl and the dying girl

33. what would you like to be remembered for? being kind to all

34. how do you define beauty? kindness, humor, a sweet soul makes a beautiful person

35. what do you love most about your body? I think I'm proportional? like... my size and shape... I hate how that sounds but my overall body ,,,,,,,

36. best way to take a rest/decompress? crack open and nice cold soda and put on headphones and lay on the ground (it makes me back feel better)

37. favorite place to view art? art galleries the environment and ambiance is immaculate

38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? Everything is Outta Reach cause I fail a lot but also I'm sHORT

39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? pianoooo

40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? I want my forearms to be filled with random little doodle tattoos I get over time (picture louis tomlinsons right arm, like the "oops!" and skateboard, and dumb things like that)

41 dolphins or koalas? KOALAS

42. what’s an animal that represents you? .....koala. also chameleon...

43. best gift you’ve ever received? so I need to be hugging a pillow or stuffed animals to sleep and I lost some stuffed animals that I loved and were huge and my go to for hugging at night and that Christmas my brother got me a huge elephant and a body pillow to replace them and I actually cried

44. best gift you’ve given? im really bad at giving gifts but my brother searches everywhere for this book in specific print and language and after years I found one and got it for him for Christmas. he's not good at showing appreciation and excitement but I could tell that he was stoked

45. what’s your favorite board game? BETRAYL AT THE HOUSE ON THE HILL it's so complicated and so good and I love it so much

46. what’s your favorite color? yellow and red

47. least favorite color? o r a n g e I just realized it's between red and yellow make it make sense

48. diamond or pearls? diamonds

49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore! I don't wear makeup often enough to spend money on designer but occasionally I get some good stuff from ulta then immediately regret it and go back to my Walgreens makeup HAHA

50. pilates or yoga? yoga

51. coffee or tea? I don't drink either but I like the aesthetic of tea more

52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pneumonoultrascopicsiliconvolcanoconoiosos because it's the longest word in the English dictionary and it's has a very specific definition and it's so extra when I was 7 i had a friend who could spell it forwards and backwards

53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? milk!! I only like dark chocolate if it's reisens

54. stairs or elevators? stairs I'm afraid of elevators

55. summer or winter? summer

56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? mac and cheese

57. a dessert you don’t like? uhhhh... umm... uh... anything with tree nuts cause I'm allergic??? I love dessert

58. a skill you’re working on mastering? I'm learning guitar !!

59. best thing to happen to you today? I woke up before 2pm

60. worst thing to happen to you today? my family all decided to a be in a bad mood today so that's super exciting to deal with :))))))

61. best compliment you’ve ever received? that I'm a really good listener

62. favorite smell? candles right after they're blown out and the air outside when it's cold. it has a smell. it DOES.

63. hugs or kisses? hugs

64. if you made a documentary, would it be about? the one direction boys' solo careers and eventual reunion when it happens

65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? if that includes music, louis tomlinsons album walls. but if not, ehm the martian that movie makes me cry don't come for me

66. lipstick or lipgloss? lipstick

67. sweet or savory? savory

68. girl crush? lily james

69. how do you know you’re in love? I've been trying to figure that out... I think it's when everything reminds you of them and you can completely be yourself around them and feel a sense of home and belonging.

70. a song you can listen to on repeat? greyhound by calpurnia or baby driver by simon and garfunkel

71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? h a r r y s t y l e s I have questions I need answered and I wanna hear unreleased HS and 1D music

72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? going back to school so I can be with my best friend slash future boyfriend

tagging: @lupinlongbottom @outerlacy @fortisfiliae @theseuscmander @wizardwritings

[latenight-ramen]

Rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

Tagged by @auroranights-universe :) thanks for always adding me in these!

Last

1. drink - Green tea

2. phone call - A few days ago with a friend since he was going through some stuff.

3. text message - “Sure thing” in response to a friend’s thanks for sending her my homework haha.

4. song you listened to - Omaha by Toro y moi

5. time you cried - I have no idea, but it was most likely during a movie

Ever

6. dated someone twice? - No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? - No

8. been cheated on? - No

9. lost someone special? - Yes

10. been depressed? - Who hasn’t?

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? - No

Fave colours

12. Green

13. Sky blue

14. Black

In the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Unsurprisingly no

16. fallen out of love - No?

17. laughed until you cried - Probably

18. found out someone was talking about you - I don’t think so

19. met someone who changed you - No

20. found out who your friends are - Sure

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Don’t have facebook

General

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - Don’t have facebook

23. do you have any pets - A great pyrenees mountain dog named Fuji. I’m often told I don’t have a soul, but I love her with all my heart. <3

24. do you want to change your name - Some call me by my preferred name so that’s good enough.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - I was on a trip in Belfast I believe.

26. what time did you wake up today - 3:00 p.m. cause I’m a fucking racoon at this point.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - On my laptop watching TV

28. what is something you can’t wait for - Graduate and leaving my hometown for good. 

30. what are you listening to right now - Do me like that by Penguin Prison 

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - Yes?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - School and upcoming tests I guess

33. most visited website - tumblr or ao3

34. hair color - Dark brown

35. long or short hair - Too long 

36. do you have a crush on someone - Nope

37. what do you like about yourself - Idk, probably that I’m hardworking and independent

38. want any piercings? - No

39. blood type - I forget

40. nicknames - Don’t have any 

41. relationship status - Single 

42. zodiac - Gemini

43. pronouns - She/her

44. fave tv shows - I’m rewatching Durarara and falling back in love with it. mob psycho 100, opm, and voltron are also my favorites. 

45.tattoos - No thanks 

46. right or left handed - Right

47. ever had surgery - No

48. piercings - No

49. sports - I really like watching rugby and soccer. Also lowkey figure skate fan.

50. vacation - Anywhere tbh. Canada seems nice.

51. trainers - black sports bras and gray adidas shoes

More general

52. eating - My mom made Japanese hot pot (oden) recently for the first time in a while :P

53. drinking - Jasmine tea

54. i’m about to watch - Durarara x2

55. waiting for - Summer vacation

56. want - Some freetime would be nice for once

57. get married - Eh, maybe

58. career - Aiming to be an airline pilot, and hopefully a travel writer too

Which is better

59. hugs or kisses - A makeout session with the right person someday sounds nice

60. lips or eyes - Eyes

61. shorter or taller - Taller 

62. older or younger - I don’t really care

63. nice arms or stomach - I don’t care

64. hookup or relationship - Relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - Hesitant

Have you ever 

66. kissed a stranger - No

67. drank hard liquor - Yes, but only on an occasion(s)

68. lost glasses - I don’t wear them

69. turned someone down - Yes

70. sex on first date - No

71. broken someone’s heart - Probably many

72. had your heart broken - Yes

73. been arrested - Not yet

74. cried when someone died - Yes

75. fallen for a friend - Is that the same thing as a crush? If so then yes

Do you believe in 

76. yourself - Trying to

77. miracles - Yes

78. love at first sight - No

79. santa clause - Some type of santa claus

80. kiss on a first date - Why not?

81. angles - Some types of angels

Other

82. best friend’s name - I would prefer not to put their names here even if I have one.

83. eye colour - Black

84. fave movie - Kimi no na Wa or Guardians of the Galaxy volume 1 and 2 both

85. fave actor - Chris Pratt

20 people is a lot so I’ll just tag a few: @thebookfreakthatlovesmusic @a-la-orilla-del-rio @lawlietismyfavorite @negroymorado @handsomecack @omuii

[larryrickard]

lets get personal.

i know this is supposed to be an ask meme but i’m fucking bored & no one ever sends me them, so.  also i’m kinda pissy rn unfortunately so forgive pls some of my answers lol

01: 6 of the songs you listen to most?:  idk.  mostly i listen to everything on random anymore, and only in my car.  the only song i’ve listened to on repeat recently has been ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga. 02: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?:  speaking of which, lady gaga. 03: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.:  the only book near me would be all the books, as in my bookshelf.  unless you count my kindle, in which case there would be no line 17 because of the font size.  sorry. 04: What do you think about most?:  idk.  whatever my current obsession is i guess. 05: What does your latest text message from someone else say?:  “And you don't have to cook it”. 06: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?:  with.  i don’t like being naked and don’t understand those who do.  also i get cold. 07: What’s your strangest talent?:  i don’t have talents. 08: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence):  are soft and beautiful.  meh, have to earn my trust. 09: Ever had a poem or song written about you?:  a song, yes. 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?:  a very long time.  it’s not a thing i ever do lol. 11: Do you have any strange phobias?:  i don’t think so.  my phobias are pretty standard. 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?:  when i was a kid, yeah.  plenty.  once my parents had to hold me down and tweeze a chewed up wad of juicy fruit out of my nose.  i fucking love the smell of that gum.  three year old me may have been stupid but, hey.  i was being economical.  also i blame it on my parents for, you know, giving a fucking toddler some gum. 13: What’s your religion?:  don’t have one.  former christian, which is gross.  don’t indoctrinate children, please and thanks. 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?:  walking to or from my car.  that’s about it.  :/ 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?:  behind.  no one deserves to see my face.  rip to everyone who sees me in person on a regular basis. 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?:  jars of clay, jimmy eat world, the elms. 17: What was the last lie you told?:  that i’m not in debt lmao.  the only time i’ve lied to my psychiatrist :/ 18: Do you believe in karma?:  no but sometimes i wish i did.  so many people deserve their comeuppance. 19: What does your URL mean?:  doesn’t really mean anything, he’s a character from the flash. 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?:  all sorts of things?  and idk. 21: Who is your celebrity crush?:  lady gaga, angelina jolie, carlos valdes, idk if shane madej is a ‘celebrity’ but him, brie larson, michael sheen... idk, i don’t really have “crushes” but those are the first ppl to come to mind. 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?:  nope.  and no thank you. 23: How do you vent your anger?:  lol. 24: Do you have a collection of anything?:  funko pops?  but not seriously.  i mean.  i have a lot of them bc i love a lot of characters and there are some pretty fuckin dope funkos.  but it’s not my goal in life to have a huge collection or anything.  at least i can say i have less than a hundred of them lol.  (less than 75.) 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?:  ew, neither.  but if i had to choose, phone.  bc, you know.  my face. 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?:  lmfao no.  i mean, i’m better than the person i used to be, that’s for sure.  (see:  indoctrinated as a child, including your typical conservative bullshit like racism for starters.) 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?:  so many.  i have misophonia.  and people chewing + mouth sounds is definitely a big one.  love?  idk???  music?  rain?  my cat’s cute lil meow? 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?:  what if my thyroid issues were discovered earlier on instead of a year or more after they started.  my childhood doctor was Not Great.  it took her two weeks to figure out i had a sinus infection.  i was in the fourth grade.  still bitter about both of those. 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?:  no, ghosts aren’t real.  aliens yes.  not the stereotypical ones, but in a “given the size of the universe it’s literally impossible that we’re the only life out there” way. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.:  right, the cat.  left, air. 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?:  nothing?  it’s my house/room, so to me it smells like nothing. 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?:  uh... i’ve no idea? 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?:  west, obviously. 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?:  no such thing as ‘opposite’ gender.  of a different gender, though?  lady gaga. 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?:  who the fucking fuck knows.  literally know one knows, though tbh.  they just think they do. 36: Define Art.:  lmfao how would i know.  i don’t have a creative bone in my body so i should be the last person to comment on the subject. 37: Do you believe in luck?:  nope.  i hope it’s obvious by now that i don’t believe in fictional things. 38: What’s the weather like right now?:  cool.  cloudy.  typical oregon winter weather.  i want rain tho :( 39: What time is it?:  3:04am. 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?:  yes.  and yes, several times.  three.  two totaled cars.  the last one is the only one that was actually my fault, though.  driving too close after it rained.  don’t do it, folks. 41: What was the last book you read?:  the diviners by libba bray.  currently reading a short history of nuclear folly by rudolph herzog.  fascinating, but kind of  depressing af. 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?:  no. 43: Do you have any nicknames?:  hal (to a very select few bc 99% of the time i hate it, so fuck you if you call me this without permission), hals, hallie bird, hallie strawberry. 44: What was the last film you saw?:  i honestly don’t know.  haven’t done a whole lot of movie watching lately.  maybe the fall (2006).  (please watch this movie, it’s so gorgeous and lovely.) 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?:  i’ve never had a serious injury.  well.  i take that back, i guess.  in my first car accident i was stopped and rear-ended at like, 40mph.  so i’ve had back issues since i was 18.  usually it’s fine but sometimes it’s bad and sometimes i can set it off really easily.  idk if that counts as “serious”, though.  lots of people have back problems. 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?:  i don’t think so? 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?:  i guess buzzfeed unsolved and watcher.  and ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga lol.  good omens, as usual. 48: What’s your sexual orientation?:  asexual. 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?:  yes.  thankfully only a few (that i know of, anyway). 50: Do you believe in magic?:  no. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?:  yuuup.  they deserve it. 52: What is your astrological sign?:  taurus. 53: Do you save money or spend it?:  spend it :||  every paycheck i tell myself i’ll be better at saving it, but............ 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?:  preordered chromatica by lady gaga. 55: Love or lust?:  if i had to choose, love.  lust and all that stuff is gross. 56: In a relationship?:  nope.  shocker, i know.  (this is sarcasm.  it is no shocker to anyone as to why i’m single.) 57: How many relationships have you had?:  just the one. 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?:  nope. 59: Where were you yesterday?:  work on my day off for a staff meeting, and then my psychiatrists’ office. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?:  a few things, yes. 61: Are you wearing socks right now?:  yes.  almost always. 62: What’s your favourite animal?:  cats, then birds.  mice are p adorable, too.  i miss having them.  i haven’t had mice since middle school or early high school i think :(  i’d love more but my current cat would definitely try to eat them... same with a bird.  i’ll probably never have a bird :( 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?:  be sarcastic and love stupid puns and bad jokes? 64: Where is your best friend?:  one is in ohio and the other is in massachusetts. 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.:  no idea lol.  i haven’t been on here much recently, and i’m never caught up anyway.  and i don’t usually pay attention to who is posting/reblogging. 66: What is your heritage?:  mostly german.  the rest is other typical white stuff that i can’t remember.  some irish?  either way idc. 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?:  uh, rewatching some buzzfeed unsolved for the 100th time?  and playing with my tamagotchi? 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?:  he doesn’t exist so idc. 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?:  nope.  also, Nice™. 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?:  incredibly doubtful. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?:  go to work.  i love my job way too much.  i’d probably try to get someone’s attention if there was anyone around, and/or call animal services.  (there are no canals around here anyway and i don’t walk to work and ain’t gonna.) 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?:  who tf knows, i hate this shit.  i’d really rather not think about it bc it stresses me out.  i probably wouldn’t tell very many people tho.  try to find someone to take my cat :(  i sure as shit wouldn’t leave her to my parents :(  and i wouldn’t want to leave her in a shelter.  she’s already done that once and it makes me too sad. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.:  trust.  you can’t have love without trust, though... 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?:  ‘sweetness’ by jimmy eat world, ‘fade to grey’ by jars of clay, ‘thunderhead’ by the elms, ‘bad romance’ and ‘g*psy’ by lady gaga (latter is... i hate the name but the song is so fucking catchy, ugh), ‘torn’ by natalie imbruglia, ‘bring it all back’ by s club 7, ‘... baby one more time’ by britney spears, ‘where’s the love’ by hanson, ‘who do you think you are’ by the spice girls, ‘as long as you love me’ and ‘everybody (backstreet’s back)’ by the backstreet boys, ‘black balloon’ by goo goo dolls, ‘spark’ by tori amos, ‘last beautiful girl’ by matchbox twenty, ‘push it’ by garbage, ‘i want you’ by savage garden, ‘minority’ and ‘she’ and ‘basket case’ and ‘macy’s day parade’ by green day... how’s that lol. 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?:  not giving out that kind of personal information lmao. 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?:  i wouldn’t know. 77: How can I win your heart?:  you probably can’t.  idk anyway. 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?:  sure, but lack of insanity is a better way to go.  don’t perpetuate the bullshit notion that you need to be suffering to create Great Art™. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?:  idk.  i haven’t made very many. 80: What size shoes do you wear?:  10 in women’s. 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?:  i’m going to be cremated and you probably should be, too.  just don’t get embalmed, k? 82: What is your favourite word?:  fuck. 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.:  ‘alone’ by heart. 84: What is a saying you say a lot?:  idk.  someone who spends time around me irl would have to tell me. 85: What’s the last song you listened to?:  ‘stupid love’ by lady gaga on repeat. 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?:  blue.  then green, and in no particular order, black, grey, purple. 87: What is your current desktop picture?:  it’s boring, just the default mac catalina background lol.  i was having issues choosing a background and was getting way too fucking picky, so i just said ‘fuck it’ and have been using this one for months. 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?:  donald trump. 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?:  idk?  how much in debt i am?  lmao. 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?:  assume i’m having a night terror or am hallucinating.  and be scared. 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?:  hopefully teleportation. 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?:  maybe when i met carlos valdes & got a picture with him.  he’s super sweet, is living sunshine, and gives amazing hugs. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?:  so many :/  idek where to start tbh. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?:  i’m sex-repulsed so no thank you.  also, gross question.  get a life. 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?:  new zealand. 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?:  yes, my cousin bc he murdered my dad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?:  no. 98: Ever been on a plane?:  many times. 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?:  indigenous people aren’t history, they still exist.  shut the fuck up and listen to them.  build a time machine to go back in time and prevent colonisers.  just straight-up kill them, we deserve it.

[distractedbylife]

Very long tag meme so it is going under the cut! ^-^

tagged by @everylittlelie and @robb-greyjoy thank you both c:

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST

1. drink: sprite 2. phone call: family member 3. text message: that same family member  4. song you listened to: Broken - Lund 5. time you cried: rewatching the perks of being a wallflower 6. dated someone twice: I have not 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. been cheated on: nope 9. lost someone special: I have had people pass away 10. been depressed: while currently writing this 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: gotten drunk many times, never thrown up!

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. Black 13. Purple 14. Blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: A good few :) 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: I don’t think so? 18. found out someone was talking about you: no

19. met someone who changed you: 100% yes 20. found out who your friends are: I just don’t make an effort to talk to people who don’t make an effort to know me 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no?

GENERAL 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them??? 23. do you have any pets: Currently no 24. do you want to change your name: I’d change my first three names >.< 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I sat at home eating food and playing games...I know I’m pretty wild 26. what time did you wake up: woke up at 6:50~ am for some reason, but only got up a while after 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was messaging a couple of people since I had woken up 28. name something you can’t wait for: happiness  29. when was the last time you saw your mom: today actually 31. what are you listening to right now: drugs - EDEN 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yup 33. something that is getting on your nerves: some issues with people I know, some familial ones too, my life 34. most visited website: here? Maybe reddit too 35. hair colour: dark brown! 36. long or short hair: medium length but I’m growing it out!  37. do you have a crush on someone: no 38. what do you like about yourself: I honestly don’t know 39. want any piercings: Oh booooooy so I don’t have any currently but I’m thinking I’d like a couple of ear piercings I don’t know what kind though, nipple piercings and snakebites possibly? 40. blood type: I actually can’t remember 41. nickname: Lukas 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: Scorpio 44. pronouns: he/him but I’ve never really cared about pronouns and have no problem with people using whatever tbh but that’s just me 45. favourite tv show: I’m really bad with picking favouritessss 46. tattoos: I don’t know, I’ll only ever get one if I feel like something has happened in my life to warrant me permanently marking my body with it but that’s just my ideas 47. right or left handed: right handed but I use my knife and fork the other way around - I’m 99% sure this is because of me breaking my arm when I was really young and switching to accommodate that while it healed and never switching back lol 48. surgery: yes 49. piercing: none yet 50. sport: I used to play soccer, football, tennis and swim but nothing currently 51. vacation: anywhere away from people would be good right now tbh 52. pair of trainers: the shoes I wear 99% of the time are my trusty converse :U

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: I just ate pizza actually 54. drinking: I’ve been trying to keep up my water intake lately 55. im about to: maybe play a game or something

56. waiting for: trying to figure out some stuff :| 57. want: happiness, money, power, glory and everything few, far and in-between :P 58. get married: I mean this implies that someone would be willing to lol 59. career: figuring this one out

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: either, both are good and sometimes you need one more than the other

61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: I don’t mind haha 63. older or younger: Tend to like older and I’ve always gotten along with older people better so *shrug* 64. nice arms or nice stomach: strong arms to hold me and good stomach to lay on c: 65. hook up or relationship: they serve different purposes 66. troublemaker or hesitant: both, I can never seem to be one thing for too long HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger: nope 68. drank hard liquor: yes. a lot. there’s a reason why there’s a now-empty bottle of vodka in my room. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yes but I found my glasses thankfully XD 70. turned someone down: yes 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: maybe. 73. had your heart broken: nope 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yes, in front of people too since I didn’t know until then... 76. fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: I can try and think I should 78. miracles: I believe in tragedies more than I do miracles. 79. love at first sight: ‘lust at first sight’ 80. santa claus: lmao no 81. kiss on the first date: ??? idk 82. angels: nope. OTHER 83. current best friends name: I don’t have one single ‘best’ friend because I’ve always found that weird but I have many people in my life that I would gladly call best friends 84. eye colour: brown/hazel 85. favorite movie: the perks of being a wallflower? idk I’m soooo bad at picking favs haha

Tagging: feel free to ignore btw @youbuggingme @beargrove @janiedean @lordhellebore @lunavagantt and anyone else who wishes to

[ayyyez]

Get to know me meme!

Tagged by @shiabanana

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag people

THE LAST:

1. Drink: hot chocolate 

2. Phone call: my friend called me crying last night tbh

3. Text message: My friend sent me a gay meme and I sent back “same tbh” XD

4. Song you listened to: Highwayman by Willie Nelson & Johnny Cash

5. Time you cried: honestly I just rewatched Naruto and I cried so hard when that thing happened to Neji 

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: the same person twice? nah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: meh not really

8. Been cheated on: nooooo

9. Lost someone special: lol can I say Neji too? I’ve lost family though too

10. Been depressed : only EVERY FREAKIN DAY

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: twice. I was a lot younger though and binge drinking is a big thing here unfortunately 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. Black (yeah it’s a shade so shoot me), Navy & Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes!

16. Fallen out of love: nah

17. Laughed until you cried: most days I’m with uni friends 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah but nothing bad

19. Met someone who changed you: YES

20. Found out who your friends are: also yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yeah but what are friends for

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most of them tbh I deleted most randoms

23. Do you have any pets: I have an adorable lil bunny who is white, fat and fluffy and I love her, she likes to pay tag

24. Do you want to change your name: My name is so long I wish it was shorter but I’ve learnt to live with it

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: got drunk, blasted Johnny Cash, played cards against humanity and beer pong w/friends.

26. What time did you wake up: 11am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching naruto

28. Name something you can’t wait for: New chapter of Nanatsu no Taizai (Chapter 226) or as it is otherwise known The Seven Deadly Sins ayyy

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 2 hours ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: being financially stable would be a real treat, so I can get by and travel 

31. What are you listening to right now: Girl from the North Country by Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash (can ya’ll tell I love Johnny Cash yet?)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: several

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: people who hate on others

34. Most visited website: Tumblr and Ao3

35. Mole/s: I have a few small ones

36. Mark/s: chicken pox scars, a tattoo and a few freckles

37. Childhood dream: to be an artist 

38. Hair color: brown/black                                                                             

39. Long or short hair: very long

40. Do you have a crush on someone: do fictional characters count??

41. What do you like about yourself?: my fierce resting bitch face 

42. Piercings: standard ears, cartilage, nipple, nose (used to have my bellybutton done but not anymore) 

43. Blood type: Red (tick) ahah I made a Carl Barron joke but srs idk

44. Nickname: Ez

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: Scorpio

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show(s): Naruto (I mean obvs), The Borgias, Outlander, The Office, Parks and Rec, The Seven Deadly Sins, Rick and Morty, idk I love so many

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: none

52. Hair dyed in different color: I’ve dyed it red, blonde, bleach blonde, beliage caramel and blonde and now its brown/black

53. Sport: used to be big on sports especially figure skating and swimming but then I got injured so nothing lol

55. Vacation: JAPAN! or also back to New Zealand                                               

56. Pair of trainers: ??? I own some yes??

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nuggets, give me all the nuggets

58. Drinking: orange juice come at me

59. I’m about to: write an Itachi scenario and another fic chapter

61. Waiting for: graduation

62. Want: to get something published

63. Get married: idkmaybe

64. Career: studying a writing degree so I can have a piece of paper that says I went to uni and can write XD nah also hone my skills

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: both at the same time

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach

71. Sensitive or loud: loudish

72. Hook up or relationship: relationships are ideal but I’ve mostly just done hook ups

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: bit of both

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: many

75. Drank hard liquor: a lot

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nah

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: I don’t really date? so I guess idk

79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah

80. Had your heart broken: no

81. Been arrested: no lol

82. Cried when someone died: yes 

83. Fallen for a friend: nah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: sometimes I try too

85. Miracles: nah

86. Love at first sight: infatuation maybe, love no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: if you wanna then yeah

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Matt

91. Eye color: Blue/Green (they change)

92. Favorite movie: Underworld or Sabrina or Spirited Away I can’t choose

I tag: @shiranuigenma @peachysasuke @ka-ka-shi-ha-ta-ke @anxxietydog @suna-yodo @pyroinquisitor 

[prettyboyiwa]

#1 through #150 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻😄😄😄

🙂🙂🙂 oh my word. well I hope y'all really wanna know about me 😂

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?My best friend brandon
2. Are you outgoing or shy?Shy with people I don’t know but outgoing once I open up
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?Nobody?? I hate everyone. Lol jk umm I’m looking forward to meeting up with @hyungjooki soon💕4. Are you easy to get along with?If you like stupid puns and humor then yes 😂
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I don’t really like anyone right now but I definitely think Johnny Seo would take care of me yes
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Funny, adventurous, respectful in the right times but playful in the right times as well…the only physical quality I really look for is someone taller than me because I’m 5'10
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Ehhhh probably not. Guys at my high school kinda suck? They’re all rednecks
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
Oh Sehun 😂💕9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Nah I have a dirty mind it doesn’t bother me
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?My sister @minseoksmarshmallow
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
"HOW IS MY CITY" my friend is in Chicago right now so12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?Ummmmm this is hard wow ok-Bling Bling by iKON-Ocean View by Reddy-Tao by Tao-Catch Me When I Fall by Luhan-Luckiest Man by Mosaic
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?God no I can’t stand it
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Luck no, miracles yes
15. What good thing happened this summer?I went to New York for the first time and I loved it
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Welp. I’ve never kissed anyone sooooo
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?OH MY GOSH YES DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SPACE AND EVERYTHING OUT THERE. THERES TOO MUCH OUT THERE FOR THERE NOT TO BE OTHER LIFE. ok I’m done 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?Yeah he’s actually my best friend now. We consider each other brother and sister
19. Do you like bubble baths?When I’m stressed heck yeah
20. Do you like your neighbors?Yes they’re this sweet old couple and they let me play with their dogs
21. What are your bad habits?Umm I’m kinda controlling and it’s hard to change my mind once I’ve made it up 
22. Where would you like to travel?Everywhere. I wanna travel everywhere. But if I had to pick one place I would have to choose Thailand
23. Do you have trust issues?Yes. Very bad trust issues. It takes me years to open up to people. 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Doing my makeup. It brings me joy and refreshes me
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?Ummm I’m not really sure. I’m pretty confident in myself but if I had to pick something I would say my face shape. It’s kinda round and sometimes I wish it was thinner
26. What do you do when you wake up?Grumble about how I don’t wanna be awake and then check Tumblr 
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?No I’m good
28. Who are you most comfortable around?My sister @minseoksmarshmallow 💕
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Never had a boyfriend soooo
30. Do you ever want to get married?It would be nice but honestly I’d be content by myself
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?Yes it’s super long right now I haven’t cut it in a while
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?HAHAHHA UMMM sik-k, simon dominic, and jay park
33. Spell your name with your chin.Nehan … wow perfect 
34. Do you play sports? What sports?I don’t anymore but I used to play basketball and run track (last leg of the 4x100 and high jump)
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?Without tv. Music is everything to me
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?lol yes. my entire life basically 
37. What do you say during awkward silences?I usually either try and crack a stupid joke or just sit in the silence 
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Tall, nice, attractive, strong, tattoos, fashionable, adventurous, funny. I don’t really have a certain person in mind though 
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?Calvin Klein, Rue 21, Forever 21, other stores I can’t afford
40. What do you want to do after high school?I want to go to college and double major in business and fashion design 😊
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?Nope. 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?Either I don’t know you so I’m not gonna talk or I’m extremely sad (lol or I’m hungry)
43. Do you smile at strangers?Everywhere except school
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?OUTER SPACE OMG DONT GO THERE AGAIN
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?food. i wish this was a joke but it’s not. 
46. What are you paranoid about?I’m paranoid that there’s gonna be a world war 3 also that a moth is gonna fly in my room I hate moths I could scream 
47. Have you ever been high?Nah
48. Have you ever been drunk?Not yet 😂
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?I mean probably? Can’t think of anything right now but I’m sure there’s something 
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
gray and red and white. I’m wearing it right now actually. It’s a Chicago Bulls hoodie51. Ever wished you were someone else?All the time I hate South Georgia it sucks
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?My middle name I hate it
53. Favourite makeup brand?NYX
54. Favourite store?Versace (even though I have no money?)
55. Favourite blog?At the moment @s0nhyunwoo and @urmomstax56. Favourite colour?Black 
57. Favourite food? Everything?? Bulgogi or pasta
58. Last thing you ate?A Caesar salad
59. First thing you ate this morning?Coffee. Does that count? And a cookie. 
60. Ever won a competition? For what?My team won our track competition one year and I won MVP for basketball
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?No all of my fights happened after school I’m not stupid 
62. Been arrested? For what?Nope
63. Ever been in love? No
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?Never been kissed 🙂
65. Are you hungry right now?Always
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?Even though some of my Tumblr friends are my real friends I gotta say yes
67. Facebook or Twitter?Neither?
68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr 
69. Are you watching tv right now?Yes
70. Names of your bestfriends? Brandon, Emily, Savannah
71. Craving something? What?Yes 😭 french fries
72. What colour are your towels?Blue and gray
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?3. 2 behind my head and 1 I hold
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?No 
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?10? Maybe?
75. Favourite animal?Badger
76. What colour is your underwear?Black
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Neither I don’t like sweets that much 
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Cookie dough 
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Gray
80. What colour pants?White 
81. Favourite tv show?UMM THIS IS HARD at the moment parks and rec because I’m rewatching it and I forgot how funny it is
82. Favourite movie?UMM THIS IS HARD TOO karate kid? the original one?
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Mean girls
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Mean girls (I’ve never seen 21)
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Umm none of them they all suck
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Crush the turtle
87. First person you talked to today?My sister sarah 
88. Last person you talked to today?My sister sarah😂
89. Name a person you hate?I don’t actually hate anyone even though I basically say I hate everyone everyday
90. Name a person you love?Myself bye
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Yes 🙂
92. In a fight with someone?Not at the moment 
93. How many sweatpants do you have?3 pairs I think?
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Too many. Maybe 10? Probably more. 
95. Last movie you watched?Karate kid
96. Favourite actress?I don’t really have one so… j-lo? 😂
97. Favourite actor?Jeremy Renner or George Clooney (my daddies)
98. Do you tan a lot?Not like lay out tan but I tan easily 
99. Have any pets?No 😞
100. How are you feeling?I’m pretty good right now
101. Do you type fast?Yes very
102. Do you regret anything from your past?No I’m pretty content 
103. Can you spell well?Yes I’m a grammar nazi so
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?Nah
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?Yes
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?Probably I’m amazing 
107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yes
108. What should you be doing?Figuring out when my class starts tomorrow so I’m not late on my first day
109. Is something irritating you right now?My acne 
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Nah
111. Do you have trust issues?Yes very big trust issues
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
I don’t remember the last time I cried so there’s problem one. Probably my sister @minseoksmarshmallow113. What was your childhood nickname?Meg, Sunshine, Boo, Meggie, etc. there were a lot 
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yes and I loved it
115. Do you play the Wii?Sometimes??
116. Are you listening to music right now?Yes when am I not 
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?Sure 
118. Do you like Chinese food?Of course 
119. Favourite book?Ooh this is hard…ummm…Skin by Ted Dekker?
120. Are you afraid of the dark?Nah
121. Are you mean?I can be a jerk yeah. Depends on what your personality is like 
122. Is cheating ever okay?NO
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?Yes
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Not really no 
125. Do you believe in true love?Sure
126. Are you currently bored?Nah I’m good
127. What makes you happy?Food, dancing, fashion 
128. Would you change your name?No my name is fine (except my middle name I would change that yes)
129. What your zodiac sign?Leo and proud 
130. Do you like subway?Hell yes
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Probably ignore it even if I like them back
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?My sister @minseoksmarshmallow
133. Favourite lyrics right now?Begin by Jungkook (I really connect to them and I can understand where he is coming from throughout the entire song)
134. Can you count to one million?Yes 
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?That I broke a persons surfboard and waited in the ocean until they left so I wouldn’t have to face them (I honestly don’t even remember why I told someone this)
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed
137. How tall are you?5'10
138. Curly or Straight hair?Wavy? It’s in the middle 
139. Brunette or Blonde?Brunette naturally but most of it is bleached right now 
140. Summer or Winter?WINTER
141. Night or Day?NIGHT
142. Favourite month?July because I’m American and I love 4th of July
143. Are you a vegetarian?No I like meat way too much 
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?I hate chocolate 
145. Tea or Coffee?Coffee please. No sugar no cream 😊
146. Was today a good day?It was a very good day yes 😊
147. Mars or Snickers?Snickers I guess
148. What’s your favourite quote?“Be gorgeous and be great” -Tyra Banks 😂
149. Do you believe in ghosts?Yes
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?They reached the top of the hill, where the land flattened for a couple of feet then dropped again, plummeting down another slope to the land beyond.

God bless hope y'all enjoy learning about me 😂💕

[moonandstarsabove]

85 Questions

ii was tagged my @kamilahdavis so thank u, u majestic queen, i love uuu 

Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

the last …

1. drink: orange juice

2. phone call: my dad

3. text message: a work “friend”

4. song you listened to: i’m telling the world, by Taio Cruz

5. time you cried: i’m always crying binch

6. dated someone twice: what is that

7. kissed someone and regretted it: kissing is for losers 

8. been cheated on: that’s why i dont play uno anymore

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: life depresses me

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: surely not when i got drunk the first time :)))))))

favorite colors

12. baby blue

13. lavender

14. rose gold

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: i guess u can call them friends

16. fallen out of love: never even been in

17. laughed until you cried: ive never laughed a single day of my life. its sad so i cry.

18. found out someone was talking about you: oooooh dont even get me started binch

19. met someone who changed you: ive never been nchjfjnmj,muj chnged by anyone ever, but no

20. found out who your friends are: ehh still figuring it out

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: who dat

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: 3 (idk man, like a handful)

23. do you have any pets: i cry everyday bc ive never felt that joy

24. do you want to change your name: nein

25. what did you do for your last birthday: we went to a restaurant where the rude waiter gave my sis an anxiety attack, fuck him

26. what time did you wake up: 6:00 binch being a nurse is tough

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: dreaming about my vacation

28. name something you can’t wait for: family vacation to palma de mallorca + 2 months of doing nothing (!)

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i dont remember her face (1h ago)

31. what are you listening to right now: killing me softly with his song by roberta flack (no KS reference pls)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: idk??? have i?? i dont know my life

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my boss

34. most visited website: pinterest cuz i like hoarding pics

35. hair colour: dark brown like a cuppa coffee

36. long or short hair: fucken curtain

37. do you have a crush on someone: i wanna but my life aint that exciting

38. what do you like about yourself: my active imagination that both hinders and gives me life

39. piercings: belly button binch, like a baby piercing, cuz its very recent

40. blood type: A+ binch like my grades i wish

41. nickname: my actual name cuz u cant shorten claudia to be cute

42. relationship status: single as a loose pringle

43. zodiac: im a fish.

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: the walking dead, supergirl, brooklyn nine nine, unbreakable kimmy schmidt, stranger things, izombie

46. tattoos: 0 but i want some

47. right or left handed: slightly ambidextrous, like i do things with my left that righties can only do with their right hand

48. surgery: laparoscopy cuz my ovary wanted to explode

49. piercing: answered already

50. sport: gym sometimes? and i like volleyball

51. vacation: somewhere by the beach and with a nice view of the stars

52. pair of trainers: i basically only own sneakers cuz they the most comfy footwear in existence

more general

53. eating: watermelon was the last thing to have touched this mouth 

54. drinking: nothing

55. i’m about to: finish this up and watch power rangers

56. waiting for: july 13th when my 2 month vacation begins binch i’m excite

57. want: to be retired at 23

58. get married: sure but to whom’s the question

59. career: ideal? neurosurgeon, actual? nurse

60. hugs or kisses: both? i really love giving hugs but i always wanna hold on for too long so its awkward with ppl i dont know very well

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: same height or taller cuz yes

63. older or younger: kinda older but in my age range i guess?

64. nice arms or nice stomach: i like toned arms but im okay with a soft stomach

65. hook up or relationship: relationships im 2 emotional fr hookups

66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant af

67. kissed a stranger: or anybody ever

68. drank hard liquor: been dipping my finger in whiskey since 10 years old

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: never although a contact once popped off my eye when i was making faces in the mirror

70. turned someone down: that’s my biggest fear although i dont care much about ppl

71. sex on the first date: nooo ty

72. broken someone’s heart: according to him ye, but he broke mine first so pech gehabt

73. had your heart broken: siehe oben

74. been arrested: my only crime was being a primary school bully and thats not even a crime

75. cried when someone died: my grandpa, cried like a baby

76. fallen for a friend: never thank goodnes

do you believe in …

77. yourself: barely 

78. miracles: ye i do cuz im a hopeful binch

79. love at first sight: nein das nicht

80. santa claus: why wouldnt i believe in the actual person that delivers my presents every christmas?

81. kiss on the first date: noooo

82. angels: ye i dooo

other

83. current best friend’s name: my sis cat and my bff mariana cuz they my main binches

84. eye colour: brown

85. favourite movie: thats tough, but some i could rewatch all the time are mamma mia, the proposal, stardust, i am legend, i robot (cuz will smith), hachiko, megamind, 

i tag: @thefivecrazypeople @oldforgottenwarrior @lazusin @faenies and whoever else wants to cuz i dont know anyone else

[angelguk]

get to know me tag

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88 QUESTIONS (mae you cant call it 92 when it’s 88) AND TAG 20 PEOPLE (mini rant: why do these thing always request 20 people to tag. i dont even know ten people pls let me breathe) 

tagged by the literal angel @stormae

tagging: @jseokks / @taeyongbelviso / @floral-misfortune / @angelikidel99 / and who ever wants to do this

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: bitter af lemon tea

2. PHONE CALL: My friend Wanjiru

3. TEXT MESSAGE: there’s no school you think i’ll be outchea at 8

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Don’t Know You by Heize ( i love talent)

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: like last week wednesday. some shit happened

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nope

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: nope

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: everything here is going to be a no

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: ??? I don’t know

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: yes

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: no nope never i don’t leave the house

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. lilac

13. rose gold

14. dusty pink (or millennial pink if you must)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: I have which is a YAY

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: yep

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: All my friends are leaving/ moving to different schools because we finished year 11 now so yes I have. I’ve made so much memories with those uglies I’m going to miss them

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nah

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: ? I’ve been cooped up in my house so no I guess

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: lmao that was last year and that whole scenario was a mess

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: no

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: all of them I don’t add people I don’t know

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: I had pets!!! Two dogs but we left them in South Africa and two cats but they both passed away :(((

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: yes (my real name is wack hhh)

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: had a lunch/ dinner thing with my family

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: eight o’ clock 

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: finding out tea/gossip i love having late night calls which involve drama

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: my fucking results for IGCSES 

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: this morning before she left for work

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: my motivation because i’m lazy af and i would love the ability to interact with other people without wanting to literally combust into fucking flames

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: High by Jida

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: i have actually never talked to a Tom. there’s no Toms in Africa

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: personal stuff about my family

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): i have one on my left ear lobe, one on my chin on the right of my face, another on my hip and one on my right wrist

35. MARK(S): none

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: ironically it was to be a writer, my parents were really busy while i was growing up so i learnt to read so i could amuse myself. i started writing at 8 i think on my dad’s laptop and he was like “wowww!!!1!! that’s so good!” (it was a piece of shit i couldn’t form actual sentences) so yeah there’s that

37. HAIR COLOR: black as midnight (this is how i was writing in the above ^^ story like i introduced a character with the line: her skin was as white as snow)

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short and i might go shorter because i want to big chop it

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: *laughs* what’s a crush

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: i’m pretty straight forward (sometimes insensitive i know bUT i can’t be everything pls) so i don’t really lie, when i put effort into something i really do do my absolute best, my work ethic (when im not a lazy bitch)

41. PIERCINGS: just the normal ear ring piercing but i want a double helix and an industrial 

42. BLOODTYPE: i really dont know?? not even my mom knows

43. NICKNAME(S): fish (dont ask), fetoes (dont ask), feth (dont ask)

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: IM SINGLE AND FREEE

45. ZODIAC: aquarius (i think im more superior to all the other signs and yes im correct aquarians are the best dont @ me)

46. PRONOUNS: she/her

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: SKAM SKAM SKAM SKAM IM CRYING WHY DID THAT SHOW HAVE TO END I LOWKEY HATE JULIA IM SAD I LOVE SKAM. also skins but i don’t like it as much as skam the only good character is tony and that’s because he’s wild af also effy buts she’s too edgy for me 

48. TATTOOS: i have like 3 planned for when i bounce outta my parents house

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: i have all my bones and organs in perfect condition thanks

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nope

52. SPORT: tennis

53. VACATION: The one time my parents drove us to Durban for a family holiday!! tHE BEST!! i love sharks and beaches. but most of the time we just came back to kenya because my entire family is here. we haven’t gone on a overseas vacation in a while because my parents wanted to show us the wonders of kenyan tourist attractions (masai mara is really awesome i really saw a lion full up and zebras are gorgeous in real life like them stripes and they are thicc af) 

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: nike 

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: haven’t eaten since i woke up probably won’t eat until noon

56. DRINKING: bitter lemon tea

57. I’M ABOUT TO: finish writing a fic i hope i can put up soon. let’s see if my lazy ass cooperates 

58. WAITING FOR: RESULTS CAMBRIDGE GIVE ME MY RESULTS

59. WANT: to rewatch skam so i can cry again 

60. GET MARRIED: actually no. i was with my new baby cousins the other day and i realized marriage and kids are just not for me

61. CAREER: i want to be a forensic psychologist but i might skip that and do something with international relations so i can work with the UN. 

 62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS (i have this need to constantly hug everyone i know all the damn time because my nursery teacher Jennifer - a truly wonderful woman i still love her to this day - used to hug me all the damn time and it was one of those tight squeezing hugs. by the all the damn time i mean 24/7)

63. LIPS OR EYES: eyes

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: taller (IM SHORT AND I LOVE BEING PICKED UP HHH)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: older. talking to people younger than me makes me feel like i have to be responsible example or some shit 

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: both tbh

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: loud people because i am quiet and reserved so yeah

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemakers i’m a true stick to the rules person so i need to be shaken up every once in a while

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: nope

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: nope

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yes

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: noo

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: nope (may be idk sometimes i say shit i really shouldn’t)

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: depends

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nope

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: non

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: nope

(wow look @ my ass i really can’t)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: *starts laughing really loudly*

81. MIRACLES: i mean miracles? not really? 

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: attraction? yes. love? no

83. SANTA CLAUS: i figured out santa wasn’t real when i was four okay

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: yes

85. ANGELS: yes! not really angels but rather spirits but if fucking Michelangelo came down from the heavens and visited me i wouldn’t be surprised (i also believe in demons or evil spirits you can’t think one is real without acknowledging the other) (advice: don’t summon/provoke/fuck with spirits they DON’T CARE and they will HARM YOU) 

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): amy, awrad, maryan and wanjeri (i see you looking wanjeri as of now we’re best friends)

OTHER

87. EYECOLOR: my irises are the tone of deep dark mahogany, with swirls of coffee and chestnut dancing within the infinite sea of brown. flickers of gold catch the sunlight within their grasps and make my eyes glow like firelight orbs. (my eyes r fucking brown)

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: Perks of being a Wallflower (i cry every single damn fucking time) Easy A (best chick flick of this generation) Love, Rosie (this damn movie fucked me up i really didn’t expect that) 

[imjaebeomtrash]

“should we know us a little better” tag 📜

Thanks for tagging @youngjaesloudlaugh I hope this heat wave in the bay isn’t killing you like it’s killing me 😩🔥

Like Jess said this is hella long so don’t do it if you don’t want to! 

@jackbum​ @jaebumitos​ @im-shouting-mayday​ @markbummedout​ @yougotmeyugyeomie​ @got7s-omma​ @artuan​ @mygeraldine​ @rosegoldmark​ @yyshighlight​ @jaebeemimo​ @jacks83​ @jinyoungieluv​ @whaaaalep​ @p-jinyoungie​ @imj-b​ @theflyingtuan​ @myonlymark​ @jackson-wang-tbh​ @defsouljaebum​

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST:

1. Drink: sparkling lemonade 🍋

2. Phone call: my mom woke me up -_-

3. Text message: “I bought a bottle of secco peach bellini last night and I finished it already LOL” I was telling my friend about this bomb ass wine I had 🍑

4. Song you listened to: Jump Out the Window- Big Sean

5. Time you cried: I rewatched The Best Man’s Holiday and cried again LOOOL That was like two weeks ago

6. Dated someone twice: Never Ever 🙅

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: LOOOL yikes let’s not talk about that fuckboi 🤣

8. Been cheated on: No!! (at least I hope not)

9. Lost someone special: Sadly, yes. Rest in paradise, Grandpa!!

10. Been depressed: Not clinically

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: lol high five to that, Jess. First time I ever threw up was because of GOT7 HAHA I drank a few days before the turbulence fanmeet and I knew i was fucked up and wouldn’t be able to take any more but our host was like “Come on, last shot for GOT7″ and I chugged that shit down like a champ 🤣 Too bad I threw up after LOOOL

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: black, pastel pink, white

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes I have!! In real life and I made so many friends on here

16. Fallen out of love: Nope nope

17. Laughed until you cried: Who hasn’t?

18. Found out someone was talking about you: uhh one time this girl called me a bitch because she said every time I walked by her I would glare at her but I’ve never met her???

19. Met someone who changed you: Not dramatically. My friends have made me more open to try out new things tho!

20. Found out who your friends are: I only hang out with the realest :)

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: If it’s my friend’s list we’re talking about then yes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them! I only have friends and relatives on FB

23. Do you have any pets: Yeees, my husky Onyx 💙

24. Do you want to change your name: Nope! Maybe I want to add a middle name since I don’t have one but I don’t have a specific name in mind

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I was in class until 10 pm -_- but I celebrated the day before at the park!

26. What time did you wake up: 10 am! I’m surprised since I slept at 4 in the morning haha

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Dying in the heat so I was prob eating ice cream

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Tahoe trip, my best friend is coming into town, and the G DRAGON CONCERT

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Last night

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I’m content with life. If anything it would be having more time/money to spend on my family and friends

31. What are you listening right now: GD’s new albummm

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I prob have in my life but nothing I can remember right now

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the. damn. heat.

34. Most visited Website: Tumblr lol what a surprise

idk what happened to 35-37. OH WHALE.

38. Hair color: Black

39. Long or short hair: It was long, it reached the middle of my butt but then I cut it and now it’s short and reaches a little pass my shoulders

40. Do you have a crush on someone: currently no

41. What do you like about yourself: The fact that I’m optimistic

42. Piercings: 2 on each lobe and then 2 helixes on the left ear and 1 helix on the right ear!

43. Bloodtype: i don’t know actually lol and I need to figure it out!

44. Nickname: Steph, Stephy, Steph Curry,  뚱 (like bok joo) I might have passed on this nickname to my dog cause he was so chubby as a baby haha

45. Relationship status: single and lazy to mingle (LOL ME JESS)

46. Zodiac: Taurus

47. Pronouns: she, her

48. Favorite TV Show: Empire, Weightlifting Fairy, You’re Beautiful (a classic)

49. Tattoos: none yet and idk if I’ll get any!

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: none

52. Piercing: answered already in #42

53. Sport: Played volleyball and badminton but I love Basketball (GO WARRIORS)

55. Vacation: Going to Lake Tahoe soon! 

56. Pair of trainers: My cousin is getting me another pair of NMDs 🤗

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: I love eating and I had pesto pasta earlier

58. Drinking: Yes I love drinking LOL I prefer smoothies tho 

59. I’m about to: clean my room

61. Waiting for: the weather to cool down so i can take my pup out for a run

62. Want: BOBAAAAAAA (always 😜)

63. Get married: Yes!! Not anywhere in the near future tho

64. Career: Most likely somewhere in the entertainment business

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: depends on who it’s from ;) Lol but I like hugs better

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or younger: Older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms

71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: depends on the situation but a lil trouble is fun sometimes

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: 🙄 I’m gonna say no.. cause i knew  him from school

75. Drank hard liquor: Hennessy is like a must  

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes -_- and my dog has bitten into two of my glasses

77. Turned someone down: yuuup

78. Sex in the first date: naaaah

79. Broken someones heart: I don’t think so

80. Had your heart broken: nope

81. Been arrested: Almost did in Singapore 😅 I had hella gum in my purse and they thought I was selling so they wanted to arrest me and I’m like nah fam this is for me but luckily they let me go after 2 hours and they made me throw it away 😭

82. Cried when someone died: mhm 

83. Fallen for a friend: Yes 😪

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Most of the time

85. Miracles: Yes!

86. Love at first sight: lowkey

87. Santa Claus: when I was like 8

88. Kiss in the first date: yeeeee

89. Angels: yeah

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: my kinderbests Chris and Maria and my friend from school, Vianey!

91. Eyecolor:  dark brown

92. Favorite movie: White Chicks will always be my fave

[vanity-neverdies]

Tale as old as time

So the other day I went on somewhat of a twitter rant regarding the remake of Beauty and The Beast and Disney’s choice to incorporate a gay character into the movie. I was surprised at how many responses (particularly DM’s) I got regarding my post(s) and so I’ve decided to write a tad more about it on a platform that gave me more than 140 characters. It’s Friday night, I’m drinking tequila in pajamas and writing about a Disney movie. Living the dream, am I right? So, to help put into context where I was coming from when I wrote my tweets: 

The original story of Beauty and The Beast came out in 1701 (HOLY CRAP, RIGHT?) and Disney turned that story into an original film in 1991. I was born in 1993, so as a child I grew up watching the “OG” Disney princess movies. B&TB, The Little mermaid, Snow White, Pocahontas, etc. etc. That being said, even as A young child, I was never obsessed with the Disney princesses or their stories.  They were all well and good but I didn’t LOVE the music or the stories, so usually seeing them once was enough for me. 

Except for B&TB. Beauty and The Beast was TOTALLY different for me. I remember being 6 or 7 and having a babysitter come over to watch my twin brother and I, and she brought B&TB for us to watch. We made popcorn and turned off the lights and popped in the VHS (lol) and immediately I was hooked. The opening scene, which plays out like it’s being read from a story book, stayed with me well into adulthood.

“Who could ever love a beast?” 

 The opening monologue sets up The Beast’s storyline. The Beast is a handsome, wealthy prince who, in his selfishness and narcissism, refuses to help a homeless woman seeking shelter from a storm. Unfortunately for the handsome young prince, the homeless woman ends up being a witch (like, go figure, right?), who curses the beast with ugliness. Until the Beast can learn kindness and let love into his heart, he’ll remain a physical representation of the monster he is. AKA, The Beast. 

I remember sitting down on the couch next to my (straight) twin brother, whose initial thoughts on the beast were: 

1) OMG HE’S SO SCARY 

and 

2) What a jerk! 

After the opening monologue, six year old me thought the exact same thing. As the movie progresses we meet Belle, A smart, assertive, beautiful young woman in a small french town who loves her dad, reading, and creating inventions. Belle is great, I love Belle. She wasn’t selfish like Arial and she wasn’t willing to risk the lives of her family and friends for love like Pocahontas. Belle had a love for books, which, even that young, I identified with. I love reading to this day, and I can trace that love back to Belle. 

But this post, as well as my post earlier this week on twitter, is not about Belle. 

This post is about The Beast and Gaston. Six year old me was introduced to Gaston, the handsome, masculine, arrogant suitor whose story is entirely centered around his pursuit of Belle. Six year old me watched B&TB and could NOT understand what Belle DIDN’T like about him. He was so handsome and charming and willing to do just about ANYTHING to impress Belle. Why didn’t she like him? I liked him. I liked him A LOT. 

I remember innocently thinking these things to myself, and then hearing my twin brother say stuff about Gaston which was NOTHING like what I was thinking. 

“He’s evil!” 

“He doesn’t love her!” 

“What a jerk!” 

Six year old me at the time didn’t realize that I was having my first gay crush. As I grew up, I’d feel the same thing for a myriad of fictional characters. Literally all the male Power Rangers, Batman AND Robin, Ice Man...the list goes on and on. But thats one of the first times I really remember having a “gay” thought. I thought Gaston was handsome. 

 Belle’s dad eventually gets captured by the enigmatic and terrifying Beast. 

As the story continues, Belle ends up sacrificing her freedom in exchange for her father’s (WHAT A BRAVE BITCH THOUGH, FOR REAL), who in turn rushes back to town to try and convince people to go and save Belle. While this is happening, Belle is held as prisoner by The Beast, who, as my brother put at the time was “really scary.” The Beast is a total dick. He demands Belle only venture to certain parts of the castle, is constantly storming around and shouting at Belle and the enchanted pieces of anthropomorphic furniture that inhabit the castle, and is honestly more dramatic than a Real House Wife. However, as time progresses, the Beast and Belle begin to form a relationship. That catalyst to this relationship being when The Beast saves Belle from a pack of wolves who were DEF going to eat her and her horse. It’s the first time we see that The Beast is NOT as harsh as his exterior may insinuate, and it’s the first real moment where Belle sees The Beast as more than just a monster. The rest of the story I know most of you are familiar with, so I won’t spend the rest of this post giving a synopsis. At the end of the movie, The Beast realizes his love for Belle, who has spent majority of the movie showing The Beast that he’s capable of loving someone other than himself. They finally kiss, and The Beast transforms back into his human form, and they all live happily ever after. 

Six year old me was shook. 

I remember asking our babysitter if I could borrow the movie, and after she had left and everyone in our house had gone to bed, watching it again. It was so epic, the whole thing. Gaston getting a WHOLE town to venture into the woods to kill a monster so he could marry Belle. The Beast fighting Gaston on a rooftop in the middle of fucking rainstorm so HE could be with Belle. I remember thinking how jealous of Belle I was. TWO GUYS fighting over her, hello? 

But in all seriousness, six year old me liked the movie a lot. It stuck with me. 

So when 12 year old me rewatched the movie in the middle of a ton of puberty, suddenly the movie was A LOT more important. Six years later and I felt like The Beast. At this point I knew I was gay. I knew what gay was, and I knew that was what I was. Like so many guys in the closet, I hid it to the best of my ability, and my best act was by being a fucking jerk. I was nasty to my brother, my friends, parents, girls, guys, dogs, bugs, whatever. If it had a pulse, I had to put up some level of crassness because that would divert form the fact that I really wanted a boyfriend. 

Suddenly, The Beast was not so scary. 

“...Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind...”

“WHO COULD EVER LOVE A BEAST?” 

There was Gaston again, his bulging muscles, his slicked back hair. “God,” I remember muttering to myself, “what is wrong with me?” 

At this point, I knew Gaston was a piece of shit...But he was still hot. 

As a teenager I remember watching the movie alone and really relating to The Beast. His castle, all by himself...cold, angry, upset. The Beast tears mirrors in his house down because he can hardly stand the sight of himself. The Beast does everything but injure the other inhabitants of the castle, who live not only in fear of him, but in confusion as to why he is the way he is. I can only imagine my family and friends thought similar things about me. Then Belle comes in, and she’s brave, and she’s kind, and she’s patient. 

They slowly learn about each other, they bond over books and animals. 

16 and 17 year old me wished desperately for a boy like Belle. Someone who was going to look past my harsh exterior, past the parts of myself I could hardly stand to look at. Belle shows The Beast that we all have parts of ourselves that we don’t like. Belle shows The Beast that we deserve love not in despite of our beasts, but because of them. Our “beasts” are just a part of us, not who we are as a whole. 

Beauty and The Beast taught me from a very young age that we all deserved love, that monsters live inside of all of us--and that love sees through them. Beauty and the Beast helped show me my gayness, and time and time again showed me that even though I didn’t like who I was, someone would love me for it. 

SO when Disney announced earlier this week that they were writing in a gay character into the live action remake of B&TB, it struck a real nerve. When I found out that Lefou, Gaston’s sidekick, would have a “gay moment” directed at Gaston, I had mixed emotions. The six year old me totally would have understood Lefou’s infatuation with Gaston. Even 23 year old me gets it. However, what bothered me was the obvious stereotypical storyline of the gay man falling in love with a straight guy. 

I’m thrilled Disney is trying to incorporate queerness into its content. I want to make that clear. I think the more LGBTQ characters we can incorporate into mainstream media, the better. That was NOT what I was getting at in my tweets the other day. Really I was expressing my frustration for how Disney had decided to incorporate gayness into Beauty and the Beast, a story that had helped me understand and realize my own sexuality. I’m frustrated because I KNOW countless young boys (some of whom ARE gay) are going to end up seeing this movie, and rather than see a gay character who recognizes his love and infatuation as something good and worthy and something not to be ashamed of...Is going to see it in a way I remember feeling it SO many times while watching the original Beauty and The Beast. Disney has a real opportunity to show that gay love is something just as true and good as the love between Belle and the prince, love that deserves a happy ending. MY HOPE is that they take that opportunity with Lefou and make it something that helps little kids the way I NEEDED it when I was young. 

Gay love is real love, gay love is pure love, and gay love is powerful. It is JUST as scary and unexpected and magical as love between a man and a woman. Beauty and The Beast helped me realize that, and I hope that the remake can help evoke those same emotions for a generation of gay youth that are going to see it. 

[vengeance7x]

1-116

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

Right now? I’m not confused about anything besides where I’m gonna be in 3-4 months.

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

In a way, yes. lol

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

Hell no, it’s encouraged. There is not a damn thing wrong with weed, guys.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

Really all depends on how you and that person connect right away.

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Playing NHL 17 with my buddies.

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Nobody, because I’m never lost, and if I’m drunk, I’m taking a cab home like any other individual with a brain.

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

LOL This has happened too many times, same thing as everyone else. Keep asking why the fuck they would do it, until they were so annoyed they finally broke up with me. You cheat, you step up and end it.

8: Are you close with your dad?

Hah. No.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

YOU DON’T KNOW ME AT ALL, TUMBLR QUESTIONS.

10: What are you listening to?

Mike Joy, Jeff Gordon, and Darrell Waltrip on TV during the NASCAR race.

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Water... duh?

12: Do you like hickeys?

On me, no idea. On someone else, oh ya know.

13: What time do you go to bed?

I don’t “go to bed”, I sleep like shit.

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

Lately there is a buddy of mine, yes.

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Hell no. 

16: Do you always answer your texts?

For certain people, yes. There are some days though, where I just don’t feel like talking at all. Nothing against anybody, ya feel?

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

Wouldn’t you hate anyone who broke your heart? I mean, there’s kinda no excuse to not.

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Everyday, mafk.

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

Yes.

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I didn’t go to bed, so count this as useless.

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

My bedroom? Never.

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

Theoretically speaking, if something “goes around”, it has to come around. Where it “comes around” is a different story. 

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Yes and no.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

Hmm.. nope. If someone wants to “fix things”, they should be a mechanic.

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Yep. God damn you, P.K. Subban. 

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

I’m not wearing a shirt, yo.

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

Pretty much only my last name. 

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Aside from my dog, no.

29: Do you have a best friend?

Yep.

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

YES.

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

I just got called by some automated machine from Gatineau.

32: Are you mad at anyone?

I’m mad at Willie Desjardins.

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Hell ya!!

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

That’s classified, asshat.

35: How many more days until your birthday?

Fuck, you mean I actually have to figure out this shit? *goes to google*141 days. You happy?

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

Uhh, YEAH! I want to be in Seattle for my birthday, and I have Metallica/A7X in August, and Guns N Roses in September.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Oh yeah.

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

Chocolate and goodies.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Oh probably. The point of a secret is for nobody to know.. The best way to make sure that happens is to forget about it yourself.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Yes.

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

No.

42: Are you available?

Nope, at the moment I’m really fucking tied up having to answer another 60% of this ask.

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

Well, I’m almost 25 now, it’s 2017. Graduated in 2010.. So in 7 years? I guess just one. One I don’t count.

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

A PRINCE ALBERT. FUN FACT. I’M KIDDING.

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

Sure, as long as that ex knows they fucked up.

46: Do you regret anything?

I regret throwing curveballs when I was younger, or I’d be in a far different place right now.

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

Who in their right mind makes someone do ALL of these?!?!?!

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? 

Yep. I’ve lost a couple.

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

Nope.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Why are you assuming I’m not?

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

I think so. lol

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Why is “LAST” capitalized now, but not any other time? Sheesh. Yes I do.

53: What was the last thing you ate?

PIIIIIIZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

54: Did you get any compliments today?

Nope. Nothing new.

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

Hmm. I’m not sure. I don’t know what will come first. Probably 100 Mile House.

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

Everybody does...?

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

Guys I guess.

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

Is this house. 

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

Thursday night with Chris.

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

Fuck no.

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

No. 

62: Who do you text the most?

Sara.

63: What was the last movie you saw?

I rewatched Rush Hour the other day.

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Umm....?????

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

1

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

Nope.

67: Do you curse around your parents?

Who do you think I got it from?

68: Are you happy with where you live?

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL sure. Not really.

69: Picture of yourself?

SERIOUSLY? I have to actually open Photo Booth on my mac for the first time just for this? Assholes....

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

I don’t know... none of that ever concerned me, because i haven’t thought about it or cared. If you’re gonna marry someone, that’s tells me you only want to be with them, so....

71: Have you ever been dumped?

Mhmm. I made those cheaters do it themselves.

72: What do you most like about making out?

That part.

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Nope.

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

It shouldn’t matter, but it’s been 50/50. lol

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Lips, Nails. lol

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

I DIDN’T GO TO BED!!!!!!!!!!!!

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

Knew in general, no. In person, yes.

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

LOL. What kind of life do you think I have?

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Being called...... never mind.

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

Who knows. 

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

Not really.

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Nope. 

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

I’ve never called anyone my sweetie.

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

Eaglequest Banquet Christmas Party. 

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

Yes.

86: How can I win your heart?

Good luck with that.

87: What is your astrological sign?

LEO.

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

The same thing I was at 11PM....

89: Do you cook?

Depends on what I’m cooking. If I don’t know how to cook it, I’m not really cooking, I’m just butchering.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Because they’ve said Happy Birthday? Yeah.

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

No.

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

Unlike everyone else, I’m not looking for love or eagerly waiting for someone. Love just happens, man. It’s a force of nature, not something that can be fabricated.

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

None.

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

An NES Classic, a Nintendo Switch, a Lexus LFA, and a 100 acre property.

95: Are you a player?

Left Wing/Centre/Left Defence for Dikbutt in EASHL NHL 17, yes.

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

No.

97: Are you a tease?

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

YES!

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

Mhmm.

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

Oh yes. Definitely Vengeance7x.tumblr.com 

101: Hugs or Kisses?

Why not both, dude?

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

NO!!! Hey, you, wanna go out? I don’t know where we’re going or why, but the question says “out”, so...

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Eyes.

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Duh!

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

ONLY if it is Olivia Wilde or Brian Haner Jr.

106: Do you flirt a lot?

No.

107: Your last kiss?

Will be my last.

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

No.

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

No.

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

Kevin Bieksa, to thank him for 2011 WCF Game 5.

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

Well I certainly hope so!

112: Does someone like you currently?

You tell me.

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

You tell me.

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious, yo.

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

Yep.

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

[airspaniel]

Retrospecticus 2016

I didn’t do this for 2015, because I thought that year was such a terrible tire fire that it didn’t deserve documentation. But well, we all saw how 2016 went, and now I’m sort of sad I don’t have a concise round-up of why 2015 was so awful. I’m sure the perspective would’ve been valuable.

Anyway, here’s my 2016 in review

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before? I was the sole creative and technical producer for an animated feature from one of the best beloved brands in the world. After a rough start to the year, this ended up being on of my best years professionally, thanks to [redacted] and [redacted]. Also, I took up circus, experimenting with flying trapeze, aerials, tight wire, juggling, and other general circus arts. I took a tumbling class and did front and back handsprings for the first time in like, twenty years, so even though that’s not something I’ve never done, I think the time delay makes it notable. Also, I explicitly came out to my family and my Facebook, which has been both a total non-event and deeply traumatic at the same time.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn’t really make any, but I thought about the song “Stay Alive” from Hamilton a lot, and I managed to do that, so good job, me. For 2017 I’ve brought back a resolution that served me well in 2009: “Ass, Gas, or Grass - nobody rides for free.” I’m more concerned with the latter part of that statement than the former. I also have spent a lot of time putting other people’s needs over my own, and I don’t think it actually helps anyone, and it actively hurts me, so I’m gonna try to do that less. Also - ONE HUNNERT NAZI SCALPS.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My awesome friend Jess had an awesome baby! And like, some Facebook friends from college, which is cool but is less cool.

4. Did anyone close to you die? I mean the answer is yes and no. Because we lost the patriarch of my old folk music family, which was a gutting loss made only worse by the fact that I have been disowned by that group for the past seven years or so. Fuck cancer, is basically what I’m saying.

5. What countries did you visit? I went to England and Poland, and can’t wait to go back to both. I also did a lot of travel within the states, both for business and for pleasure, and got Delta Gold Medallion status for 2017. So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016? This is the part where for the past seven years I’ve said something about a relationship. Well, I left 2015 thinking one thing was going on romantically, and that didn’t pan out, and it honestly took me most of the year to get to a good place about it. And I honestly don’t know that I’m in a place mentally and emotionally where a relationship would be a good thing, though I do miss closeness and intimate physical contact. I think what I really need is better self-esteem, and to find the confidence I have in my professional knowledge and abilities in my personal life. Maybe I’ll get a cat?

7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? The first week of March, for the worst most gaslight-y performance review I’ve ever received, which sent me into a depression/anxiety spiral that had me thinking about suicide a lot. Also, the end of March, for the time I sacrificed my Hamilton tickets for the sake of my job. But then on the plus side I took a wonderful Vegas vacation with @lindsayribar at the beginning of July, and I’ll never quite think of champagne or the Cheesecake Factory in the same way ever again. The August-November corridor was a great time for me at work, and I got a lot accomplished that no one has ever done before. Thanksgiving with @joshversus and @dontbearuiner was also a particular delight.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Producing that movie. I was in charge of the script, the casting, the music, the direction, and the final mixing, as well as all the scheduling for every component of the production. I’d been scheduling producer for these movies for years, but I’d never gotten to do the creative producing as well, and I crushed it. I mean, we really made a great movie, and I’m super proud.

9. What was your biggest failure? I don’t know honestly. Most of the things I failed at don’t even matter anymore. I could say putting others’ feelings/needs over my own, but in the situations as they occurred, I can’t honestly imagine handling them any differently. I think I could’ve said no more often. Or maybe said yes. Maybe been less afraid.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not physically, not really. I had some pervasive bladder issues for a while, but nothing that wasn’t solved fairly easily. Mentally I was a disaster, but I’ve got some better anxiety meds now, at least. I need to get a therapist this year.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Pretty sure it was that Vegas trip. I also gave a lot of money to my friends so they could make art, and I feel really great about that.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Mine did, honestly, though I didn’t get a lot of recognition for it, not even from myself.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Fucking, just... just most of fucking America at various times and in a lot of different ways.

14. Where did most of your money go? Rent. Plane tickets. Alcohol. I really can’t overstate how much I drank this past year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My movie. Vacations. Last minute shout out to Yuri!!! On Ice, which single-handedly saved 2016.

16. What song will always remind you of 2016? I mean, at this point if I said anything other than “History Maker” by Dean Fujioka, I would be lying. I would say the entirety of Lemonade, but Queen Bey is timeless and that album cannot be bound to a single year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? December 2015-January 2016 was one sustained panic attack, and even though that’s 100% still the case now, I feel more resolute. I had the rug yanked out from under me so many times in 2016, and even in just the past couple days, but I’m determined now in a way I haven’t been in a long time.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Feeling good. Writing. Being physical.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Keeping this from 2014 - Being lonely, being angry at myself instead of doing something about it. Also, thinking I’m not good enough, or that I don’t deserve good things. Like, that’s still a process but I want to keep making progress on it. I can’t hate myself forever, right?

20. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent Christmas Eve with my folks, taking it easy, drinking some beers and watching Die Hard, as is tradition. Then Christmas Day we went up to visit my dad’s sister and that side of the family. Aunt Pat had decided that she was tired of traditional crap, and so we had a taco bar for Christmas dinner. Also I fielded a lot of comments on my green undercut. If anyone doubted who was the queer cousin, I set all of those doubts to rest this year.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?  My folks. Vendors. I fucking hate the phone, but I did also manage to have some really good conversations with friends.

22. Did you fall in love in 2016? Nope. Had a lot of complicated feelings, though.

23. How many one-night stands? Well, I mean, I didn’t think it was at the time, but the answer is one. Also, the only time I had sex with another person all year. It was still the second most sexually active year I’ve had in the past seven, so...

24. What was your favorite TV program? Yuri!!! On Ice stole the title at the last minute. But like, I also started rewatching Leverage, and that show is great. Cutthroat Kitchen, Bob’s Burgers, and Rick and Morty all got me through some shit this year.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I mean, yeah. Basically every Republican, all Trump voters, literal Nazis I can’t even believe we are at this point but so it goes.

26. What was the best book you read? The Nice Guys by Charles Ardai. Yeah, it’s a movie adaptation, but it’s really fucking good.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? For total greatness, it’s an absolute tie between Lemonade and the Hamilton Mixtape. For sheer number of repeat listens, the Yuri!!! On Ice OST. Honorable mention to Ariana Grande’s album Dangerous Woman, and “Castle” and “Control” by Halsey.

28. What did you want and get? My movie. To know if I can still throw a back handspring. Drunk.

29. What did you want and not get? Oh, a lot of things. Also, President Hillary Clinton.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Deadpool. Also The Nice Guys.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 34, and I went to my favorite izakaya with my parents and some friends from work.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Someone telling me I was good. Believing it.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016? Fuck, can I even get this on? Ugh, fine, it sort of looks okay. (I put on a lot of weight this year)

34. What kept you sane? Alcohol. It almost didn’t work, but it usually did. My anxiety medication.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Man, I don’t even know. Probably still LMM and the Rock.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Don’t even fucking talk to me about this trash fire election. 

37. Who did you miss? My friends in NYC, my friends in Texas, my friends in LA, my friends in London.

38. Who was the best new person you met? I met a lot of cool circus performers this year.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016:

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Pour up (Drank), head shot (Drank) Sit down (Drank), stand up (Drank) Pass out (Drank), wake up (Drank) Faded (Drank), faded (Drank) Kendrick Lamar - “Swimming Pools (Drank)“