#only reason identity crisis isn't on this is because i haven't read it. if i ever read it i know that i'll explode and die

[ladyblueberrymuffin]

I feel like people haven't really understood The Lost Hero, because like... "I think the reasons Piper and Jason broke up make sense. Their relationship is based on fake memories and blah blah blah"

THE LOST HERO IS LITERALLY ABOUT PIPER HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS, BECAUSE SHE LEARNS HER MEMORIES ARE FAKE AND SHE HAS TO LEARN TO ACCEPT IT.

The whole crux of Jasiper in The Lost Hero is they're slow and shy and even ashamed to a degree about their feelings, because they are afraid it'd be those fake memories pushing them into this.

Like, I feel like The Lost Hero couldn't be more obvious about the fact that they like each other for real, and they're the only ones who can't see it.

Piper already learned this lesson in The Lost Hero, why is this treated like a new development in The Burning Maze?

Also,

Aphrodite smiled. “Because you are my daughter, Piper. You see possibilities much more vividly than others. You see what could be. And it still might be—don’t give up."

It wasn't Hera, or Aphrodite who gave Piper the memories of dating Jason. It was Piper. Like, the way I think about it, it's like when you meet this boy, and you develop a crush, and you start making up all these fantasies about dating him in your head.

In other words, all Hera did was "introduce" Jason to Piper's brain, and because Jason is very sweet, and nice, and funny, Piper's brain was like "Yes, this guy, more please."

I dunno. I always found it cute. She's basically just dealing with an unrequited crush, just dressed up in a magic packaging.

I do think there should be more emphasis put on the fact that there are differences between how Piper "remembers" Jason, and what he's really like, and over the course of the book, she realizes that she likes real Jason more than her idealized version of him.

No one gaslit no one into liking each other. Jason and Piper actively gave each other time to process things. The Lost Hero even ends with this:

Across the green, her cabin mates looked disappointed that they hadn’t witnessed a kiss. They started cashing in their bets. But that was all right. Piper was patient.

The patient bit was always the most important to me. Piper isn't rushing things.

I think Rick heard fans complaining that Jasiper is based on fake memories and how messed up that is, and course corrected. They wanted a major character death, more representation, a different personality for Piper, not having Piper constantly think about Jason, they didn't really like Jason...

And you know, I think he's valid. Like, this is a job to him. He's feeding his family. He doesn't have to care about these fake names on the page just because I do. He wanted to accommodate the fans, he probably wanted some more meaty character stuff after the last couple of books were kinda boring with Callypso and Leo and so on, he probably thought this would get people hooked and interested.

It's fine. I'm glad he's still making books, and getting work, and helping other creators. I don't think other writers are that invested in their characters either, but when I read like a Kami Garcia schmaltzy romance, it feels like it was written with the mindset of "How would I feel if my friend stopped talking to me? How would I feel if my loved one died?" and it makes the actions of the characters feel less cold and detached.

I'd have a panic attack if I was friends with Leo and he moved on a whim, and didn't seem all that broken up about not seeing me again. I'd feel like I am not worth a lot to him. Hell, I am 23, way older than they are, and I still cry, because my friend moved away this year. I pass his house, and I realize I feel nothing, and I don't wanna be there, because he's not there, and I cry. These characters don't cry about anything, unless someone dies. And even then, a few minutes later, it's back to normal.

I dunno, is this what makes it more accessible to middle-schoolers? I feel like middle-schoolers would be even more terrified of the prospect of a friend moving away and not even feeling that sad over leaving them behind.

EDIT: Furthermore, if you think Hera put fake memories of a relationship into Piper's head... TO WHAT END?! To what end?! How does that benefit Hera in any way? Why would Hera care? Rick has done a pretty interesting thing with Hera lately by making her actually love Jason like a son, but that relationship was a lot more reserved at the time of HoO. Why would she care if he gets a girlfriend? Why would she think Piper is a good match for Jason? I feel like the last thing Hera would want for Jason is a relationship with Piper, like, common, Hera hates Aphrodite, they're like polar opposites, and the Trojan War started because of their argument (Athena was involved too, but Hera has different reasons to dislike her). Hera is the goddess of marriage, who has stayed loyal to a man who cheats on her daily, do you think she would hitch her boy with the daughter of the only woman who's body count rivals Zeus'?

[kali-chaotic-neutral]

Advice

Pick a cat and get some much needed advice

This will include:

~Advice you might need ~Something you have to hear ~Insight on something

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Take what you resonate with, leave what you don't.

Please do not hesitate to suggest a few PAC reading topics as I am struggling with these type of posts.

Cat 1:

I feel as though you may be in a sort of identity crisis. Maybe you're going through a time of major change, and it is causing some crisis of sorts. You're worldview has been shaken and you're brain chemistry has been altered dramatically. Additionally, this could be some drastic change in your spirituality or maybe you're leaving a religion for another or just leaving religion entirely and being hounded by your community for doing so. I know it's stressful, I know you're probably extremely critical of yourself, picking and panicking over every little mistake you make. I want you to take a deep breath and know that this isn't the end of the world. Take the energy you use to criticise yourself to maybe journal, do some shadow work or gratitude journalling. You don't have to write paragraphs after paragraphs. Even one bullet point can make a difference. Let out your thoughts on paper so you don't end up blowing up on someone. and regretting it. Let it out, clear your head and do some damage control before evaluating what steps you have to take to get yourself out of this pit.

Try to reconnect with your inner child, let that child within you have their moment. Do something simple and childish, colour a book, draw. Do something you've always wanted to do, surround yourself with people you love and your friends, let them help you. Trust that those who care about you have your back. Do not let this temporary setback make you lose sight of what you want. This stressful and dark time you are going through is coming to an end. The only reason this moment seems endless to you, is because it is YOU that is unintentionally dragging this moment. Maybe you're stretching on an argument, or clinging onto a grudge, or just simply holding onto bad habits. You are hurting yourself at this point, and there is no one else to blame but yourself. Accept this pain, let go of this grudge or actually try to stop repeating bad habits. And it's not easy. I have a smoking habit myself, but I am taking steps. I haven't smoked for a month now and it has taken too many failed attempts for me to get here. Do not prolong this situation, because when you fall it will hurt even more. Try stepping out of your comfort zone, baby steps is perfectly fine. For me, getting out of my comfort zone meant wearing more form fitting outfits. I started with crop tops and a jacket over, then moved onto just crop tops and jeans. Then only recently have I gotten the confidence to get out of the house in flared leggings. Very simple, yet so effective in telling you: "Hey, it's okay. See, You're fine. You look so beautiful when you're confidently wearing what you want.". Everyone's journey is different, take your time, but taking the steps is what matters.

Cat 2:

There is someone (or was someone) in your life that absolutely changed your life for the best, someone that was there for you in your hardest time. You might be feeling a bit guilty in the sense that they are always there for you, that whatever you give them (or want to give them) seems inadequate, or maybe this person is not in your life anymore and you feel guilt for not expressing your gratitude while they were there. The guilt is weighing you down, and might be leading to insecurities as well. Just know that even a simple acknowledgement and thanks is a gift, while not the most extravagant, it does hold meaning. Open your heart, let them know how grateful you are. And if you struggle with this, a small simple, meaningful gift will always send the message. A gift is a gift, it's the thought that matters. Let this person know, that you appreciate them for more than the comfort they bring you. And if they aren't in your life anymore and it feels like it's too late, it can be as simple as a journal entry addressed to this person. Pour out your heart and write the letter as though you would send it to them if they were present. Or maybe you went through a rocky split up (romantic, platonic) and you want to reach out but you're unsure whether or not you should. Give it a shot. If the other person doesn't respond or responds very harshly, let it go. At least you tried. Or maybe things just fell apart. Me and a few of my high school friends went to different colleges and just stopped chatting with each other. And even now, it's so awkward to try and chat with them, but also so awkward to unfollow them.

Take some time off if you can, maybe during a special occasion. If you're celebrating something with this person, let it be more intimate. Maybe with close friends/family or even just you and this person. Make time for this person, like they do for you. Or maybe it's a day that reminds you of them, honour them by doing something they enjoyed. One thing my grandmother enjoyed doing when she was alive was travelling to sacred, religious places where I live. Every year, my family and I go to these places, pray for her and have fun because she would have wanted that for us. If you've had a split up with this person with so many unsaid things, reach out. Get your closure, clear the air of misunderstandings if there are. If it's with someone you've gradually lost touch with and the awkwardness has stopped you from reaching out. Don't. Reply to their story, send them messages or posts online. let them know that you want to rekindle the friendship. Let them know, that you are also wanting to have this relationship (platonic, romantic). I've said to try and rekindle the relationships/reach out so many times and here I am saying it again: MEND THE RELATIONSHIP!!! BUILD BACK THE FUCKING BRIDGE! Forgive them, but also most importantly, forgive YOURSELF!! It's normal being hard on yourself. This however, what you're saying/doing to yourself is not it bbg. You need love right now, sweet summer child, not criticism. Put your inner critic on the back seat, let your inner healer take control. Do some self care. Face masks, spa, massage, manicure/pedicure. Take care of yourself.

Cat 3:

You're in a crisis. You have conflicting emotions that are fluctuating so fast it's giving you whiplash. Maybe you're facing a choice where you have to leave what you have known. Maybe you're home for further studies or maybe you're planning on moving homes or cutting off contact with family or friends you've known for a long time. It's difficult, because you are potentially leaving what you've always known, what your comfortable with/or people who you've known for a long time. There will always be people who will not support your decision, especially if you're cutting off contact with close family members or friends who you used to always be with. This crisis/conflicting emotions are more so due to you not wanting to deal with criticism from people you've grown up with and less to do with whether you want to do it or not. Because you do. You know it is what you want, but the potential of people's reaction is what's stopping you. If you always walk on eggshells when making decisions, to appease the people around you, you won't make it far. Stop caring about the opinion of people who don't have your best interests at heart.

Maybe what you are pursuing (If it is further studies/a job) is something that you've always wanted to pursue but have been discouraged to do so because it: "Won't put a roof over your hear head and feed you". A creative job/study. Art, music, dance, literally anything that requires creativity. Don't let these people have you give up on your dreams and instead have you slave away at a stressful office job/"prestigious" job. Don't be afraid to splurge on yourself once in a while. Treat yourself to a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant, or buy yourself something you've always wanted. Or even simpler, take a self care day. Take your time bathing, put on a face mask, dress yourself up (even if it is just to go get groceries) If you want to see change, you must initiate it. Don't be a sheep that follows people around mindlessly, take control/the reins if you have to. Assert yourself. Let your opinions stand out, true and strong.

Cat 4:

You're stretching out something tense, maybe an argument, maybe something that really angered you. And i'm not saying that you're anger is not justified. It is, what's not justified is how you're dragging this out. Blowing this situation out of proportion, making a mountain out a molehill. You are getting on the defensive, feeling the strong urge to prove that you are correct or that you didn't do something (or perhaps did) But at this point you're arguing at the wall honey. Know when to stop your battles, get yourself in check before the universe slaps you in the face. The other party has already dropped out, not wanting to spend their time arguing an age old issue. Come to terms with what happened, and try to calmly speak your mind. If you can't, journal it. let it go.

This conflict has you shaken and feeling unsure. What I'm getting is to make sure you're not biased, make sure to listen to the other person's side as well. Just listen and make your decision then. Because if you make a decision right now, it will only be more chaotic. Don't make a decision yet, wait, give yourself some space to clear your head because you're mind is not in the right space to make important decisions right now. Maybe this conflict is between you and a friend or a sibling/family member. I'm feeling that this conflict could be solved if you were to communicate, but there is such a clear lack of it that I am quite speechless. Talk things out, calmly and clearly, let them know how they hurt you and let them apologize/talk as well. Forgive if you can. Enforce boundaries with this person, maybe they overstepped despite your warnings and it was what caused this conflict. Remember, forgiving is good but it's not necessary to heal. If this person has been constantly overstepping your boundaries, firmly set them and cut off contact if you must. Or just be very firm and strict with your boundaries, you might have a habit of caving in to this person walking all over you. Not anymore.

[psychewritesbs]

Chapter 251: Decisive Battle in the Unhabited, Demon-Infested Shinjuku, Part 23--Megumi is back!! aaaaand it's not looking good

Well. In case you've been living under a rock, Megumi is back and everyone and their mom knows about it because Twitter demonstrated to be full of people who lack reading comprehension, basic human compassion, and an understanding of how trauma fucks with the mind. Only the latter is excusable, since this is domain-specific knowledge that I don't expect others to be aware of.

The number of times I've read the word "bitch" next to Megumi's name is appalling to say the least.

So... yeah... happy jjk-Sunday? Sorry, I wish I had a more upbeat intro to my ramble for this chapter but man... this fandom is something else and a lot of the comments about Megumi were just so...

Anyways let's taco'bout Megumi and share Megumi-love under the cut.

What is this irritating feeling?

Why does this matter? If you haven't seen me mention this over on the twt already, Sukuna makes a small gesture that is unequivocally Megumi body-language in chapter 248:

Megumi typically places his hand over his shoulder when he's stressed (although I have to confirm he only does it when stressed):

It isn't just the body language that is significant, but rather the way of thinking itself. I didn't catch this myself, but Ant and Danchou did, so I might not do it justice when explaining it.

This way of thinking is very Megumi-like in how he second-guesses himself. More than second-guessing, however, it also feels like a nascent sense of consciousness. All of this obviously presents a very interesting dilemma because, as Sukuna recognizes, sharing a body with Yuji has changed him.

I think we all knew Yuji or Megumi would be changed by Sukuna--because that is how Gege directed our attention by having Gojo mention Yuji could inherit Sukuna's CT by the mere fact that they shared a body. I know I also assumed that Megumi would maybe learn from Sukuna using 10s. But I also know I never even considered that the opposite could be true: Yuji and Megumi could also change Sukuna.

So, the way I see it, with that hand gesture, we have what appears to be Megumi's sense of self bubbling up from under the surface and changing Sukuna.

What's interesting to me is how subtle this is. Sukuna notices this as an "irritating feeling" that is incomprehensible to someone like him who rejects aspirational ideals.

So, part of what I love about this is that sharing a body with Yuji has deepened Sukuna's own experience of reality.

Sukuna is all ego, right? Ego is everything that is concrete...

So I have to wonder how much of this is also Megumi's own emotional turmoil given what we saw this chapter...

Wake up, Megumi!

Ok so let's do a quick recap...

We also know Tsumiki is integral to how Megumi sees himself. This is very important because Megumi basically makes her his raison d'être. In other words, his whole identity is framed around protecting her during the Culling Game. Aside from the obvious shock that it was to realize Yorozu was pretending to be Tsumiki the whole time, which meant Tsumiki was dead, the issue with Megumi was that he made Tsumiki his identity.

And if there is one thing we have seen happen time and time again in jjk is how being limited by your self-ascribed identity comes back and bites you in the ass.

So in Megumi's case, what happens when his whole identity was framed around a single outcome, and then he realized that outcome turned out to be a failure right from the start?

An identity crisis or basically no sense of self.

So what does he have to live for now?

What reason does he have for living if the person whom he had wrapped his identity around is now gone? This is what created the opening for Sukuna to possess him.

What's crazy about this is that even when he was weakened, he still put up a fight and elicited a "Fushiguro Megumi" from Sukuna. Sukuna had probably already considered the importance of the bath, but this likely solidified the need to have Megumi marinate in cursed energy. Like... this is what it took to bury Megumi's consciousness. Also, this is important because we're talking about marinating in negative emotions "to be near evil".

Now, it's midnight and I got to get to sleep, but the way jjk uses "evil" is not cliché at all, but almost like as a metaphor for chaos, hyper individuality, and instinct. I started writing about Naoki Urasawa's Monster, so hopefully I can get around to explaining the whole good vs. evil dichotomy (which is one of my favorite topics ever) soon, but this is all I'll say for now. I'll come back to this in a sec.

Next, Megumi's own Cursed Technique (which we know is tied to the brain and personality) and hands are used to kill Tsumiki's body and Gojo while Megumi can only observe.

And then, Gojo accidentally blitzes Megumi's soul with his technique.

Like are we for real expecting Megumi to just stand up and start throwing hands after all he's been through? What is wrong with people???!!!!!!!!!!! Have some compassion ffs.

Unfortunately, this isn't just about a lack of reading comprehension and compassion, it's also about lack of domain knowledge. This is Trauma with a BIG T we're talking about, and Trauma has been shown to limit how you see yourself and how you are able to think.

So, of course Megumi is distraught. The writing in this is so damn realistic.

Now, Gege has been paying special attention to Megumi's body language, and while the rest of the fandom is laughing at the "Mahoraga hands", I'm looking at how tightly closed those fists are. Even the way he's curled up in a tight ball... Almost like he's about to blow up from sheer pressure.

Quite the contrast to the last time we saw him in a similar position but with more relaxed body language.

And remember, he marinated in cursed energy so that he would be closer to "evil", right? Plus getting blitzed?

Listen, I am ready for Yuji's pep talk, I am sure it will be generational, but right now, I don't think Megumi is ready (or maybe even able) to hear it. Again, because Trauma with a big T.

Plus Sukuna loosing control of Megumi's body? You kind of have to wonder why Megumi's energy has been crescendoing to the point that Sukuna would be affected by it and not only think like Megumi, but also use body language that is unequivocally Megumi.

This feels like a Megumi is about to snap.

This is starting to feel ominous precisely because he's marinated in these self-destructive emotions for so long. Emotions which surely intensified as he saw the consequences of his inability to take action.

But then again... I was expecting a blood bath out of the culling game and it was everything but so 🤣 idk what to tell y'all. As predictable as he is, Gege is unpredictable af.

Ok I think those are my main thoughts? WHAT ABOUT Y'ALL?!!!!!! What are we thinking? What are the theories? oh mai gah.

Even if I'm responding to asks slowly, I'm still reading them as they come in guys. Sorry, school + work is kicking my ass because well... in typical Megumi fashion I haven't taken responsibility for bringing out my best.

That said, I go off to sleep 🫡 Thanks for reading!

[weekend-whip]

Ninjago Fic Rec Week (2024): Day 2

Prompts: Multichaps/Villains! (catching up slowly but surely~)

Multichaps:

Shark Bait: ALRIGHT CONFESSION I haven't actually *read* this one yet ONLY because I know it's going to soooooo good and it's going to change my brain chemistry so I'm waiting until I am Emotionally Prepared but UWAH just the premise alone should be enough to entice you: Movie!verse with completely secret identities, and Lloyd/Green Ninja trying to take matters into his own hands...only for irony to make them worse, as is the story of his life. This author is already a legend as it is so who needs a summary GO READ GO READ NOW!!

Ninjago: The Nya Perspective: SINCE this masterpiece favorite of mine just updated not too long ago, there's no better time than to recommend it once again! Have you always wanted more from Nya in the early seasons?! Have you always wanted more of HER side of story?! Have you wonder how Nya became the person she is today?! Well wonder no longer for this story has got those answers and more!!!!

Sharpen the Scythe, Before He Reaps: Another that I've started but never finished, it's a reworking of the Day of the Departed, so you know it's FULL of Ghost!Cole goodness, from the good to the angsty!! And what I've read so far is sooo soul-grabbing (pun somewhat intended) and makes me wish DotD was even half as introspective as this jhgfdgfd

Thank You For Giving Me Wings: Over a year later and this is still my only multi-chap ninjago fic (...that, uh, isn't Legacyverse nor OC-related, oop). Still, it's never a bad time to have a little introspective on Wu bonding with his students over the years, moreso as family than anything else <3

All I'm Asking For: Quite possibly one of my very favorite Ninjago fics ever, it is REQUIRED reading as far as I'm concerned! Cole's the anchor character, but it follows EVERYONE in a slightly-altered aftermath of March of the Oni, with everyone recuperating, figuring out what's next for them with their lives and relationships, and spiced up with a little Christmas flair <3

Mechanical Hearts: A story I've been keeping an eye on for a while, it's a college Jaya au with plenty of Jay+Cole dynamic spread on top, and the way the author (hi Finn!!) writes all the characters is so deep even in the lighter moments and makes all the senes in the world for the setting they're in, and I love all the little nods to canon or the cheeky changes made along the way–it's so enjoyable!

Villains:

for want (for nothing): Not technically a villain, but Kai's certainly an antagonist here ooooooooh (a different, heart-wrenching take on the Kai-Lloyd confrontation in S4)

Lord Garmadon Is Not Impressed With the Future: Another one I've recced before, but now it has an equally villainous SEQUEL so I've gotta get everyone on the train again! And this story's got villain!Garmadon and villain!Garmadon-but-having-a-personal-crisis upon realizing that his future is...not at all what he wanted. And he also discovers himself beating the life out of his own son–so yeah. We definitely can't have THAT. Good stuff, good stuff.

Bucket List: Might be a slight cop-out since this is moreso about Kai BUT it IS my favorite Morro-related fic, and he is a villain, thus it fits! (...Plus I gotta put at least three stories in this section, c'mon). Anyway, Kai allows Morro to possess him for less-than-ideal reasons and presents a fascinating dynamic between the two and what it means to truly live and take responsibility (the good, the bad, the ugly, and all). Be mindful of the tags and warnings, though!

Outgrown (from Spider Lily's Claws): I knew I almost forgot a Harumi one! DR-fic in which Harumi stumbles across the monastery looking for a place to recuperate, and a company-starved Lloyd welcomes her to stay. A fascinating look at a Harumi who's still got her "Evil" instincts but is still trying to act in her best interests, while Lloyd...is Lloyd hgfhgd. I love their back-and-forth bad-idea-good-idea dynamic here a LOOOOOT

[skaruresonic]

Was looking through your posts about the metal sonic shenanigans, and this part really caught my interest

"Metal doesn't really say anything to imply existential despair in Metal Madness. He more or less just brags about how he's going to take over the world"

The guy who complained about how "mean and condescending" the heroes are being sure ignored this part. They genuinely made something up and then acted like it's true.

Playing the games actually isn't enough. These people can look directly at the source material and still interpret it as something completely wrong. Sonic "fans" are simply hopeless

I didn't touch on this in my reply, but the supreme irony of "Sonic's picking on Metal, he's so impossibly smug and condescending" and "nobody listened to Metal" when Metal was actively trying to kill them is too much.

Let that sink in. Metal tries to conquer the world and murder the heroes, is a misunderstood bby boy. Sonic says something snarky to him and runs off, that's unacceptably mean.

I just.

Metal threatened to roast these characters on a spit and blasted fire in their faces. What are you talking about, "nobody listened to him"? How much would you feel like playing armchair therapist for someone who just pointed a flamethrower at you five minutes ago? Why is this deserving of "aw, poor baby"? What about Metal's actions or words suggest he's crying out for help? One throwaway line about how he's no longer afraid? Does that honestly negate the fact that he's trying to conquer the world and rule as its robot overlord? Where in the games does it suggest Metal went crawling back to Eggman to ask him to remove his voice? Because even if you go by IDW's account and nothing else, Eggman still managed to remove the "rebelliousness" from his coding. The page on which Neo Metal says this furthermore implies the process was nonconsensual; it shows an unconscious Metal hooked up to a bunch of wires, and Neo later checking a computer only to see a screen that reads "NO DATA." And barring the fact that, during the Metal Overlord fight, Metal essentially said all that was in the past... Does Sonic have to asspat every villain who comes for his blood? Really? I also really love (read: hate) how they said Sonic's answer to Metal's question of "But why can't I defeat you?" was a non-answer. Say what you will about how weird "Because we're Sonic Heroes!" is, it at least makes sense given the game's overall themes of teamwork. Heroes practically hits you over the head with it. You can't say Sonic didn't give him an answer when the answer is staring you right in the face.

The thing is, I was open to being proven wrong when I opened up YouTube and watched the Metal Madness fight. I don't remember exactly what Metal said off the top of my head. I haven't played Heroes in a long while. There are a lot of games where my memory needs a refresher. That's why I decided to double-check, because memory can often be unreliable.

So then, actually watching the video, I paid attention to his dialogue, and... Well. The evidence doesn't seem to support OP's claims. I didn't hear any instances of Metal screaming about how his constant battles with Sonic and co. were driving him insane. What I did hear, however, was a good dose of egotism justified by the slightest veneer of an identity crisis. That's not to say the identity crisis wasn't a factor, just not the most important factor. Hence I think it's reasonable to assume it's erroneous to paint it as the only thing motivating Metal in Heroes.

More broadly, I feel like the type of post that really gets big on this site is the one that appears galaxy-brained and appeals to our emotions, but hosts a conspicuous lack of sources and examples. Feels over reals, so to speak. They use loaded language, make declarative statements about the characters, and usually don't bother with nuance.

And. Like. If you scratch even just a little bit beneath the surface, you'd find the series holds more nuance than it's commonly given credit for. So to boil things down as people often do is needlessly reductive. It doesn't always paint a whole portrait. There was a recent post that rubbed me the wrong way as well because it was worded in this style, claiming that Shadow's character could be pinned down to his loyalty in his relationships to others. I found that analysis lacking because it neglected the fact that self-determination is an equally important part of his character, and portraying loyalty as his most critical trait risks defining him through his relationships with others. Stuff like this by its very multifaceted nature necessitates the use of asterisks. And in addition to games canon, Sonic Tumblr tends to be allergic to qualifiers that may risk diluting an otherwise "powerful" message.

This type of post isn't confined just to Sonic fandom. It happens in Half-Life too. I'm just more inclined to give it a pass for a couple of reasons. One of those being that HL's lore is more full of gaps than Sonic's, so in some instances your fanon is as good a guess as the next fan's.

But with Sonic, it's immensely frustrating because we're often looking at the simplest possible context, and yet folks continue to ignore it. People are so desperate to make the series seem Deep and Mature that they'll make shit up that just isn't there.

The only way I can explain it atm is by comparing it to the "blood orange, she's so pretentious, shut up it's fucking red" meme. It's not blood orange, it's red. The game said it was red. You're just saying blood orange because you think reframing something red as actually blood orange will make you sound more sophisticated, when in reality it makes you come off as ignorant at best and tryhard at worst.

I keep circling back to this example because it's always salient in my mind as the quintessential "you are pulling shit out of the deepest reaches of your rectum" take: Shadow was tortured on the ARK. Nothing in the games, Shadow's characterization, or the material SoJ recently published suggest he was ever experimented on by the researchers at any point. He holds no rage towards the researchers and harbors nothing but loyalty towards the ARK and its memory. Hell, in one ShTH ending he calls it "sacred." (And I'm sure some edgelord will be like "that's just evidence of Stockholm Syndrome." okay sure Jan) The claim becomes even more tenuous when you apply even a modicum of logic to it, from any angle. Yes, let's jeopardize Maria's one and only chance at a cure with unethical experiments. Let's waste resources and risk Gerald's wrath by treating his son like a guinea pig.

Literally all people base this on is this archetype of the Evil Research Facility, as though the ARK and Aperture Science are somehow interchangeable. They don't actually seem to consider the ARK's specific situation and instead superimpose this platonic idea of Evil Research Facility on it in order to "flesh" it out. Never mind the canonically shady shit the ARK got up to by developing weapons of mass destruction, something Shadow says out loud with his own mouth in SA2. No, games canon is not enough to work with. Shadow needs to suffer in new and innovative ways. Ow the edge.

Feels before reals, man. (takes stiff drag on imaginary cigarette)

[slothspamsstuff]

On your sexuality post. Can you elaborate on why cass and tims interactions would prove shes into dudes, id get it if you used kon but TIM?? TIM AS IN HER BROTHER TIM?? I hope to god your not implying what i tbink 🤢

They're not related by blood you know... How is that kind of shipping disgusting in anyway if one does not think of them as brother and sister since oh, you know? They're not actual siblings! The only thing that's closest to them being siblings is Bruce adopting them and he isn't even their biological dad. I don't personally ship them fyi, but I just don't understand what is not right about him into her or vice versa if they are not related by blood?

I sincerely hope you do read the comics and I'm not saying for sure or if it's even a fact that they're into each other cuz you can never be so certain, but the hint is there. Fandom can be fun and enjoyable but sometimes maybe you're just forcing yourself into the headcanon that they're something like blood brother and sister which is not true at all. They're simply close in age, are colleagues in the comics and even if the relationship was retconned later on, it was still a thing written by DC so idk, it's official?! Like okay, maybe by that logic you implied right there, shouldn't Steph and Cass be siblings too, since Steph is literally Robin no.4 or do gods forbid them to be like siblings since they're quite often shipped together and they're best friends? Yeah I just don't understand what you're trying to tell me here.

Though the reason I don't ship them is because the idea of Cass dating her best friend's boyfriend just doesn't sit right with me but that doesn't mean it wasn't implied she might have been into guys too. And admittedly, I haven't caught up on Cass and Kon so I still have a lot of reading to do.

Okay, since you've asked, first off: Batgirl #18, their first platonic interaction after No Man's land.

Then secondly, War Games and Identity Crisis, Tim losing Steph and his father, Cass losing her best friend, and so they bonded over mutual trauma and loss. And they bonded in Batgirl/Robin: Fresh Blood.

Then we have these:

Batgirl #58

Red Robin #25

Ok to be fair, she stabbed Tim on that one.

And this one, idk which comic it's from but there you have it.

Also, Solo (2004) #10, a married couple.

Like come on, are you really gonna tell me I'm problematic when the comics do be drawing them interacting like this? If this isn't enough then I dunno, maybe you should spend more time researching on each of their interactions, or take time to read the comics then go back and tell me what is wrong with everything I said, honestly. And yes, I will read up on Cass and Kon to see more, but you really need to understand that the batfam is a found family and not strictly related by blood, except for the case of Damian, so let people ship whatever they want, even if it's not your thing, because they. are. not .related. by. blood!

[memento-morri-writes]

Hi, Morri! How are you doing? Have you been working on any specific project lately? Have you read/watched/played anything interesting lately? Had any cool DnD sessions? Has something inspired your writing?

ROSE, HI!!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU? I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!!!! Have you watched or read anything interesting lately? Had anything inspire your writing? I hope school is going decently well!

Okay, sorry. Enough with the caps. I just have too much energy, lmao.

I'm doing good!! I survived another week of classes, so that's great. Now I don't have to worry about school until Monday. I do have a physics test next week, unfortunately. But at least after that we have Fall Break, and I get a 5-day weekend. (Friday-Tuesday.)

the rest of this is going under the cut, because I wrote an essay.

I haven't been working on much writing lately, so I've mostly been working on developing dnd characters. My one group is switching campaigns, so I needed to come up with a new character. She's a Fire Genasi Barbarian (path of the storm herald), and they're super badass. They fight with a quarterstaff instead of a regular barbarian weapon for uh... Secret Lore Reasons, and I love her dearly.

Last weekend I finally got my shit together and watched all three of the Lord of the Rings movies. My only regret is that I didn't watch the extended editions. :'( But that's a project for another time!!! Other than that, I've been slowly working my way through Baldur's Gate 3 and having a great time. I haven't done any reading recently, as I don't have any books with me and uni, but I have 3 or 4 books waiting for me when I go home for Fall Break, and two of them are written by people on writeblr!!!

DnD... where to begin... First off, all of my sessions are amazing and awesome, so it's hard to know where to start. But Rook has been starting to deal with his trauma regarding Captain Wolf, and the party has been pretty supportive! (There's a lot of trust issues going on right now, though, hahaha.) He got told about someone who beat Wolf in a duel, and he's determined to find him now. But that won't be for a WHILE yet. Our other campaign is getting ended and replaced, but Asola was having an interesting time. The party started interrogating her about her past. They meant well, and they wanted to help her get to the bottom of the whole "randomly started burning with holy light and then passed out" thing, but they ended up giving her a bit of an identity crisis by implying that she's not human and/or that her parents aren't actually her parents. (She isn't human, but her parents are actually her parents.) The 16 year-old ended up reading her mind, and seeing some of her most personal memories. Which led to the party having a very, very extended conversation with him about boundaries. (Sola told him that "No one deserves anything [just because they exist or say so]." talking about the fact that love and respect is something that people have to earn and deserve, not just be given by virtue of existing. I'd say for a girl with -1 wisdom, she's pretty wise.) We also found a magic flower that can reincarnate someone, and we put it in a rusty bucket, which we put inside our magic cat. (No, that's not a typo. I do mean cat.)

As for inspiring my writing, well, yeah. I'm always getting inspiration all the time. Karlach from bg3 was an unintentional inspiration for my new dnd character, Cyra. After watching LOTR, I'm eager to write some high-fantasy shenanigans. Playing DnD makes me more and more eager to someday write High Fantasy WIP, assuming that I can get it right.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

oh man i just saw your reply to my ask and it's really good, i know it is basically the same general plot outline but the details you described like the scene with the neighbor (who i had completely forgotten about. it's been a few months) and about the mother's current living situation and the description of the visit were so good and made it way better than my basic one, and actually made me a bit sad.

i found it interesting that you mentioned Ed "tugging at his hair" though since the original design doesn't have that, would you have changed his design from the original too? and how would you change the ending of the comic? i have ideas for that too (although i could not send them yet because it's a lot) but i am more curious about yours

Oh. Thank you. I still think yours was better but I'm glad I was abble to make you feel something.

About the hair detail what if I said I just forgot about his original desing? I shouldn't but I haven't actually read the full comic in a month or so and it really just escaped me for a second. The whole tugging his hair was because I was looking to the beta ideas for characther desings on the Arkham games and one of the notes added that Edward's hair should become messier as the game progresses because he tugs it as an OCD nervous tic and I just really liked it. But no. I would keep the original desing. Exept for the green eye make-up mimicking the mask and the weird mascara. I'm all for Eddie using make-up but they make it too Joker like. Instead I would keep a more tradicional green eye shadow with the glasses as a substitute for the mask (as he really wouldn't have the mask on Arkham any way) and maybe blurry it in an emotional distress scene. Besides that the desing is totaly fine. I really just hate the eye shadow thing and how during his scene with Gordon he looks like I do when I try to aply mascara because I'm not good with it.

About the end I have some vague ideas but nothing concrete. I think I would have made so the random man death have an actual valid motivation instead of it being an statement that he can kill without leaving clues (the fact he used that as clue for Batman to discover his intent is something that really drives me mad, the moment Bruce says that I though the plot twist in the end would be that Edward only thinks he isn't leaving clues anymore but nooo let's just ignore that he made Batman uncover his statement because fuck it). Maybe have the fact that the death seems random be that it wasn't part of the game (wich would relate to the wife's coment about how everything is game), maybe the guy was another person (an ex paramour or an ex teacher or an Arkhan psychiatrist) that Edward though could help him with his identity crisis but instead he just made things worse and Edward killed him in a dissociative episode so the end is about Bruce understanding Edward better and maybe not fully answer (as only Edward can) but actually offer an insight over why Riddler is what he is before sending him to Arkham wich would end his crime spree but make so Edward started to get once again obcessed with Bruce as he is the only person that understands him, the only person (including himself) for whom he is more than an enigma. Basically Riddler misanderstands everything and what could lead him to a redenption just drives him further on his obcession because while I think I could easily turn it into a redemption arc it doesn't appear to be what DC wants with this stories. (also can I say that for me the only reason Batman kills Edward besides Tom King weird obcession with portraying Eddie as math emotionoless Joker is because they wanted to recreate the ambiguiuty at the end of the Killing Joke where is implied Bruce may have killed Joker).

[wallylinda]

may i ask what was the comic you hated? or rank the worst comics you've ever read? ffgjfjf

yes absolutely here are the top ten comics never to fucking touch if you even remotely value yourself and your mental health, in ascending order of how much I fucking hate them:

Animal Man (1988)

Okay, right off the bat, I'll have to admit: Morrison's run is decent. But everyone who claims that this comic is a "classic" or a "masterpiece of what you can accomplish in the medium" has thankfully only ever been subjected to Morrison's drug-fueled meditations on the nature of parallel universes and the importance of animal rights and not the complete and utter shitshow that was 50+ issues of: Animal Man turning into the knock-off Jersey Devil, Animal Man losing control of his powers and running around the suburbs naked and howling at the moon, Animal Man turning his daughter into the figurehead of a cult for reasons I still do not understand and do not care to comprehend. 

Like I cannot even describe to you how divorced these plotlines are from any semblance of thought processes other than "how do I make this as fucked up as possible?" And I know it's a Vertigo title and I know that it's kind of par for the course in that regard but surely. Surely we can do better than this. Anyway, my favorite character was Animal Man's son, Cliff, who didn't deserve literally anything that happened to him I hope he has a good life. 

2. Aquaman (1994)

I know. I know that a lot of people like this book. It is apparently a great book when you close your eyes and ignore everything that actually happens in the book. And let me tell you I tried. I read about ~60 issues of this garbage fire before giving up. It's just gritty, meaningless nonsense intermixed with feeble attempts at worldbuilding and increasingly icky romantic ventures. Like, Aquaman loses a hand to a bunch of carnivorous piranhas (haha), gets possessed by alien technology he found under Atlantis (???), and flies into frequent rages over the people around him, understandably, refusing to obey his every command (good for them). He's an asshole! And not even in a good way! No one in this comic has any semblance of an emotional connection to each other, be it good or bad, and their motivations often fall flat because of that. Not to mention that the colorist just. Pinkified the Inuit character. Great. Awesome. I hate it here. 

3. Plastic Man (2004)

How. How did this book get an Eisner Award. Did we read the same fucking comic??? Was bribery involved??? I feel insane. All you need to know about this book is that its very last issue had a joke about the act of necrophilia on a minor. And for a book that was marketed based on its humor, it had one (1) funny panel, and that was it. Bad. I'm so sorry Plastic Man maybe you'll get a series I'll actually enjoy reading one day...

4. Green Lantern: New Guardians

Congratulations, you gave Kyle superpowers equal to a god! Now what interesting and impactful stories are you going to tell with this newfound power of his that doesn’t completely detract from the previous themes or further convert the franchise into blatant military propaganda? ...What do you mean you’re going to make Ganthet into Kyle’s father figure. Why did you create a romantic relationship between him and Carol. Why is every modern Green Lantern comic obsessed with the supposed benefits of a universal police presence when everything prior to the 2005 series consistently denounced it. This entire book was just a paltry imitation of the Ion arc of the 90s, and you should that instead of this, because this was just OOC nonsense. 

5. Green Lantern: Rebirth

Parallax retcon written by Geoff Johns. Enough said.

6. The Flash (2011)

Once again mutilated from the corpse of actually good material, this comic is a coagulated monstrosity of editorial bullshit and increasingly desperate attempts at portraying the cops as the Good Guys. Hell, during this shitshow of a book, Barry arrests his own future nephew for spray-painting anti-Flash sentiments onto an alley, who, may I add, was introduced in this scene, and as a black character. Love that. Furthermore, Barry’s personality solely consists of being overly attached to his work and his primary motivation to being a hero is a rip-off of Batman’s origins. Iris has been dumbed down and smoothed out into unrecognizability and her romantic relationship to Barry has no basis or emotion to it. Just. Everything about this comic is OOC and completely disingenuous to previous canon and deliberately mean-spirited towards its fans. It doesn’t even feel like it wants to tell a good story. It just feels like it wants to shame the readers for liking the characters and themes that existed before the reboot.

7. Fate

The epitome of everything wrong about 90s comics. A powerful protagonist with no motivation behind any of his actions, overly complicated storylines with no plot cohesion, and a constant gritty and pessimistic atmosphere that serves no purpose other than to exemplify the main character’s unlikability. You could, in theory, say that that was the entire point of the comic, but that still doesn’t change the fact that this book is needlessly preachy and self-absorbed and just plain boring. Loved it when the main character died in JSA. Bad. 

8. Secret Six (2006)

On rare occasions, I see individuals lauding Gail Simone as this beloved icon of feminism in the comic industry, and I urge those same people to read Secret Six because their opinion will change. The one WOC, Chesire, is demonized into one of the worst racist caricatures I have ever had the displeasure of reading, which of course means that she has the dubious honor of playing the part of the Dragon Lady and the Asian Baby Mama trope. Jade is a completely different character in this, and the text is all but too happy to ignore her prior history in favor of making her as immoral and sexualized as possible. Everything has to relate to sex. The dialogue is clunky and unrealistic. And like, this comic has been upheld for its queer representation before, but having queer characters doesn’t mean that it is any way good, and it certainly doesn’t mean that it should be excused for the blatant mess that it actually is. I hate it so much. 

9. Heroes in Crisis

Do I even need to explain.

10. Green Arrow (2011)

THE WORST COMIC I'VE EVER FUCKING READ. MY GOD. You might be thinking to yourself right now, “oh, how bad can it really be?” and the answer to that question is BAD. Here are some plot points: Ollie fucks a group of triplets in the wilderness while being chased by bears (idk but i’m not rereading this goddamn thing to give you the exact details) while everyone around him rightfully assumes he’s died in a ditch, Ollie finds out he’s the rightful heir to a magical arrow cult and gets tortured by his father for it (???), and Shado, a woman who in previous canon was involved with Ollie, now has a daughter with his father. Like. It’s bad!!! Nothing about it is salvageable!!! Nothing about it is a Green Arrow comic!!! Don’t fucking read this!!!

in conclusion: i hate all of these please please please take my advice and never touch them. do this for yourself and not for me. also if you are a fan of any of these comics sorry that i despise your beloveds or whatever please make your hate post about me on your own blog and not on mine thx 😭🙏🙏

[agirlunderarock]

You know what I haven't done in a while?

Give

More characters I headcanon as being on the asexual spectrum

We're long overdue for this and I'm still at the peak of my star wars hyperfixation so this one is going to be all star wars related

1. OBI-WAN KENOBI

The man is on the asexual spectrum, probably demiromantic my favorite kind of romantic. Like name me a character aside from Frodo (who is also ace) who endures so many tragedies but still has so much love in his heart that it hurts. He has so much love for his friends, they're his family, he'd do anything for them whether they know it or not. Now I know what some of you are going to say, "but Sierra he flirts like a bitch-" and? Whats you're point? Flirting can be fun. He likes word play and showing he's the smartest person in the room, or at least giving that energy. Being bad at flirting isn't an asexual trait. Besides, I too would flirt with Ventress, she makes it too easy. Also I absolutely chose this gif on purpose nothing has given me an ace crisis more than that cloak drop.

2. REY SKYWALKER

I'm sorry but that one shirtless scene with Kylo Ren did not strike me in any way as building sexual tension. Rey is another character with so much love for people, and a belief that there is good in everyone. To me her story should have never involved a romantic arc- (though I do have a way that it would make it satisfying to me and make me actually want to give Kylo Ren an actual redemption arc but thats a different post and I need to rewatch) Rey's story and really all of the stories in the sequel centered around personal identity- and I'm getting off track. Rey is ace and thats all. The only ship she gets excited about is the Falcon. Like what else do you need but a lazer sword and a space ship? A GANG OF FRIENDS TO KICK FASCIST ASS THATS WHAT

3. ANAKIN SKYWALKER

Man only ever loved three women. One was his mother, the third was like his little sister and then of course Padmé. That being said the only reason I don't put him as demiromantic like Obi-Wan is because like it was practically a snap decision for Anakin. Boy fell so hard for Padmé and that was that. And again I know what you're gonna say, "But Sierra he had sex with Padmé!" Yes, whats your point? Still on the asexual spectrum. He can be demisexual or just a sex positive asexual- he can be ace and enjoy being with Padmé.

4. JANGO FETT

The king of asexuals. Man wanted a son and straight up did it through cloning. Good for him. Jango is a guy who's grown on me recently but it has everything to do with his friendship with Zam Wessel before he killed her and I just 🥺 All I'm saying is he's a cool dude okay

5. AHSOKA TANO

Okay now I haven't read the books but I heard about that part where a girl she helps tells her she could kiss her and Ahsoka responds with "Uh thanks?" And if that isn't the most ace response I dont know what is. Sure there was that weird thing with Lux, but like he feels kinda like stale bread retoasted too many times (like the trope with jedi having relationships with political figures). What I'm saying is Ahsoka is yet another character with so much love and respect for her friends and eager to experience the galaxy. A+ ace rep

[someoneimsure]

What are some of your all time favorite charcters?

Oh, that's simple! I've never ranked them together before so this is gonna be fun.

BATMAN, Bruce Wayne from DCAU BTAS & JLU. Batman's core character was a man who cared so much about his city that he willingly dressed up as a bat to scare criminals off the streets because he would never want anyone to experience the horror he suffered as a child. This is the Batman who would sit next to Ace and hold her hand as she died. This is the Batman who would threaten the United States government if he thought it would save lives. This man is a freaking legend. (Not to be confused with the Batman of TNBA. Fuck that guy. He's a hollowed out shell of his former self and it makes no sense to me at all how BTAS Batman became JLU Batman and then TNBA Batman. The timelines don't add up at all.)

RED HOOD, Jason Todd from the DCAMU Under the Red Hood. I watched the movie before I read the comics, and I honestly prefer the movie ending over the comic book ending. It's what got me into reading the comics. He just fascinates me so much. Like, I love his ugliness and the way his story made me open my mind and think about the possibilities. Even now, I honestly want to sit down for a minute one of theses days and write a version of UTRH for BTAS. (It also honestly still confuses the hell out of me why Nightwing was there in the beginning and never came back for the end in the movie version. Like there wasn't a storyline going on in Bludhaven in the movies that would require him disappearing for the second half of the plot--just think of the possibilities!)

RED ROBIN, Tim Drake-Wayne from the Red Robin run. This man has an identity crisis every other issue, I swear, when he isn't falling to his death and thinking about how he only wishes he could see Conner again. The homoerotic subtext and subtle un-reciprocated romance has sold me on the Timkon. That's not to mention his most basic and fundamental trait: He exists as Batman's anchor. That's what his entire reason for becoming a hero is all about: keeping the Batman grounded and preventing him from becoming a violent maniac that needs to be put down. Because, deep down, Tim is intelligent. Yes, I do think he is a genius. Is he the smartest Robin? Dependson how you define intelligence. He's certainly not the most skilled and fundamentally he is kind of a loser, but he understands The Mission without being told, understands the "necessity" of Batman, doesn't need a tragic backstory to do what it takes to save a hero, and that makes him a hero in my book.

ROBIN V, Damian Wayne from the comics. It's hard to pin down exactly what storyline I like about Damian because I haven't read any good ones yet but my all time favorite panels are those with him and Jon Kent. Specifically, Damian telling Jon not to doubt himself because he was made for the purpose of becoming Superman--a sentiment Damian also shares. I didn't understand the character all that much before that, but I was sold. I literally look at every panel with him in it differently because of it. Damian is an "I am destined to be Batman. Everyone else needs to get over it" son of a gun, and I can totally get behind that attitude of "This is me, deal with it." He is my spirit animal, and him loving animals and being a piece of shit is just a bonus.

THE FLASH, Wally West from DCAU JLU. My all time favorite episode of the entire JL&JLU run was his. He set the bar for superheros for me and everyone else simply fails if they cannot reach that bar. I still remember the episode of Flash and Substance where The Flash asks Batman and Orion to make an appearance at the opening of the Flash Museum. My favorite all time scene was him sitting next to The Trickster and just talking to him to convince him to give up his enemies. They have such a good rep that The Trickster willingly agrees to turn himself into the police just for The Flash. That's such good writing. Now, in my mind, a superhero should help everyone, even their enemies.

SUPERBOY, Conner Kent from the Young Justice comics. I haven't read his solo run yet and it's in the queue but I'll get there eventually, but the tone of the Young Justice comics and his growth as a character throughout has rapidly made him my all time favorite YJ character. My absolute favorite part about him is the black and white morality he has and the conflict between him and Tim. Like, I understand in real life that black and white morality is a child's dream, but I like heroes who have lines they will absolutely not cross. (He's better than the YJTV version which feels like a blank slate and an over all bland character who should have run off and rebelled against his 'destiny' long ago.)

I was going to include my favorite characters from other franchises but my memory is shit if I'm not looking directly at the thing I want to talk about so I hope just the DC stuff is okay.

[cru1sec0nt0l]

Brothers

My younger brother is going through a rough time right now. An early 20s crisis if you will. He's been working at a job he hates/dislikes and it's caused him to question everything about himself. His motivations, his hobbies, his passions, his reasons for being. I've seen him become increasingly jaded. Some days he's okay, but other days he's quietly angry and bitter. Even now, as he prepares to quit his job, he ebbs and flows between wanting to quit the next day or holding out until he finds a new job.

I don't have much guidance to give him. Anything I say feels hollow seeing as I haven't actually done it. I've been a student or worked toward a career my entire 20s. He's effectively two years ahead of me in his working life, despite being the younger brother. Even so, I try. I try to reassure him that things will work out, but that he needs to move smart. I try to encourage him to consider the options/costs, but I can only say so much. The blunt truth is that at the end of the day, the decision is his own and he's going to have to figure out his next step whichever path he chooses. Ultimately, 2 years after college, he's working a job he doesn't like and he doesn't seem to like anything else in his life. I don't know how to help him with that. When I was in that spot, I was in undergraduate school. It took me switching majors, studying an extra year of college, working for a year while taking pre-requisites, and only then I managed to course correct. I'm still trying to steady my own ship 6 years after graduating undergrad.

Part of the difficulty with my brother is I don't know how much to say. I don't want him thinking I'm trying to parent him. I also don't know how much he really cares/values what I think. He's told me once that I'm the only one who listens to him, but I also hold back a lot of what I think at times, out of apprehension of overstepping my place. When we were younger, things were easier. At least, in my memory. I could impart some experience or knowledge to him and he'd accept/implement it. It's harder for me to do that now because 1) he's his own man with his own experiences and 2) my own young adult journey isn't one to replicate. So in some respects, that's why I feel like I can't really give him a concrete point of view/path to follow; we're also in completely different fields of work, which doesn't help.

I worry about him because I see him falling into a lot of the same traps that our father fell into: materialism/stress shopping, overworking, an inability to express himself emotionally, centering his identity around work. I did the same thing after high school and I remember the problems it brought me my freshman and sophomore year of college. I asked him if he was depressed today, and he said no. He feels that his problems will be solved once he quits his job. I think some of his concerns my be alleviated, but I'm beginning to suspect that not all of them will be. I don't think he really knows who he is right now; he's not only lost his confidence at work but also his concept of self.

Based on our talks, I think we went in different directions in response to our dad's mental health crises during our childhood. I leaned communicating my feelings (which happened only after going to therapy and reading a lot of self-help books), following my passions, and developing quality relationships. It seems as though my brother leaned in the complete opposite direction in many respects. He just told me today he doesn't talk to his friends about anything serious. That seems sad to me, given how much I've needed my friends over the years. I don't know how to help him. I can listen, I can tell him my own experiences, but I can't tell him how to want to be connected with himself or others. It's hard not to feel like I should own this battle for him; that if I had chosen a more lucrative path, I could have eased the pressure on him and maybe helped him avoid this stress. In reality, that's just my 1st gen mind wishing I could be the superhero for my family. I can't shield him from anything. I can only give the help I'm capable of. Even if it doesn't feel like it's enough.

[the-sapphire-general]

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 2)

There was originally going to be just one part about what I think and feel about Sephiroth, but it turns out I have more to say than I thought I did. You can say I'm passionate about Sephiroth. Not a day goes by without at least thinking about him several times. Lol Anyway, if you haven't read my previous post, here's the link because I will describe things I have said in the first part in more detail.

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 1)

As I mentioned before, I can identify with Sephiroth. At first I didn't consider him an idol considering how different we are, but I realized about the similarities we have, even if those similarities can be different. I hate mentioning my former friend, but she used to be someone that took advantage of me, a lot of the time without my knowledge. So I know how Sephiroth must have felt after discovering that everyone lied to him about his origins. Now his situation was extreme compared to mine, but the key thing is we were both betrayed somehow. It's difficult to handle, and we both took it hard, with Sephiroth taking it farther than me. Betrayal, whether big or small or somewhere in between the two, isn't pleasant, especially if those who betray you are people you thought you could trust. I know what that's like, and it's not an easy thing to just brush off as if it were nothing.

To further prove how Sephiroth and I are similar is our personality traits. For starters, we are both quiet. Now it's hard to tell online if someone is shy or outgoing, but believe me, I'm one quiet girl. I'm real timid in real life. I don't think Sephiroth was timid, and I bet he was just sheltered growing up. Be honest. Hojo sucked as a father, and Sephiroth wasn't treated like a human being. So Sephiroth may have been socially awkward, which can appear as timidity or coldness. I'm timid and I can get a bit anxious, but I hide it really well. I'm not a social butterfly, and neither is Sephiroth, but that doesn't mean I'm purposefully ignoring others. It's just I'm not good at socializing. I am socially awkward myself and people have to get to know me to know the real me. Others saw Sephiroth as cold and distant, but they didn't even try to get to know him. Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos saw past this and became his friends. Sadly others see me as cold and distant as well, and to be honest it hurts. I bet it bothered Sephiroth as well. Or maybe he didn't care, I don't know. I'll believe that it did bother him. Of course, despite our shortcomings, Sephiroth and I do have friends (well, Sephiroth used to have friends). I may struggle to be social, but I can bond with others. I mean, hello! I have my boyfriend, his friends, my family, my own friends, and my online friends. Sephiroth had a few close friends, but at least it's something. Angeal and Genesis. I swear, if things didn't get so screwed up, they would have been best friends forever. Heck, Zack could have been a great friend to Sephiroth if he was given the opportunity. In a way, they could have helped Sephiroth back in Nibelheim, but the damage is already done.. What I'm trying to say is I understand this real well because I've been there. It just makes me want to give Sephiroth a hug and possibly a kiss to comfort him and let him know that I care. Though he might be annoyed by my affection. Lol

The next similarity we have is we're intelligent. Unfortunately a lot of people don't see me as intelligent, but Sephiroth's intelligence is what has me striving to prove to others that I am all while improving my own intelligence. They just see me as a girl with average intelligence and I was once accused of being an idiot. I wonder if Sephiroth had naysayers always doubting him. Looks can be deceiving. I'm not what others claim that I am, and it's annoying. This brings me to my next point. When Sephiroth was still part of SOLDIER, others might have perceived him as so many things, which includes being cold and distant and such. I've said this already, but this isn't just assuming that someone is cold or timid or whatever personality trait. It's about others assuming things about others that may be false. Sephiroth didn't consider himself to be better than everyone else (prior to Nibelheim of course). Heck, he didn't even show interest in fame to the point that he allowed Genesis to take it, possibly unaware that he was jealous of him. Maybe he tried to do that to ease his jealousy. Though Genesis should have handled his jealousy better. Before you assume anything about a person, either get to know the person or keep it to yourself until you see who they really are. Otherwise, it can be damaging to them. It was to Sephiroth. Something tells me all those soldiers had mixed opinions about Sephiroth, many of them potentially formed out of false assumptions and simple ignorance. Okay I'm getting too deep into this due to my own personal experiences, so I will switch to the next similarity.

Sephiroth and I hate certain people. How else can I explain my former friend that I have mentioned plus other people? Although Sephiroth took it to an extreme and hates everyone, I can still relate. Now it doesn't mean I will be as destructive and cruel as Sephiroth, but I can relate. Everyone at ShinRa treated Sephiroth like an experiment without his knowledge. He was never told about his origins. He never knew his parents. Then again, never finding out that Hojo is his father is a blessing (unless he somehow found out already?). He was deceived and manipulated ever since the day he was born. Correction, he was manipulated BEFORE he was born! He has the right to hate those who mistreated him. However, that doesn't justify any of the horrible things he did. Now my case is nothing compared to Sephiroth's since I was simply deceived by certain people, but my dislike for them is reasonable. Seriously, who would be able to let someone pretend to be your friend only to harm you emotionally and verbally, try to control you, spread lies about you, and basically destroy you? That's what my former friend did, and I hate her. All the bullies I've encountered throughout school? I hate them too. But that doesn't mean I would try to hurt them back because that wouldn't make me any better than them. I was given one opportunity to tell off my former friend online after I cut off contact for years. I told her to get well because she was sick, but she was getting better. She insulted me, not directly, but she did imply it. I was furious. But what did I do? I kept my mouth shut, told her to have a good life, and bid her farewell. Telling her everything that she made me feel and how much I loathe her would have only caused trouble, and the last thing I need is for her to stalk me online or try to pick a fight with me since she's freaking insane. She got angry over tiny things, physically assaulted someone just for being rude, as in getting into a conversation between the skank and someone else. Like what the fuck?! She could have told him to wait until she was finished. She was not psychologically well in my opinion, but I'm not one to confirm it because I'm not a psychologist. I thought she had changed but I was wrong. All my suspicions I had about her have been confirmed. Everything. And I vowed to never speak to her ever again. So Sephiroth and I may have handled our hate differently, but it still counts as something we have in common. Looking back, I see Sephiroth as an extreme version of my hate, anger, and pain, making me picture what I would have been like if I had taken it too far. It's a bit terrifying for me to imagine, and I am glad that I have more good inside me.

Now the next thing is something that still affects me to this day, and it's this. Sephiroth and I have felt like we were different, that we didn't belong anywhere. Having an identity crisis isn't fun, and Sephiroth is proof of that. He's not like everyone else. He's the only one with long silver hair and green cat-like eyes, he's part-alien, he's the strongest of all, and he always felt different because of this. I feel like I'm different because I'm not as outgoing as many people, I get worried about what others think of me, I'm not as confident in myself and my talents, and people don't pay attention to a wallflower like me. So I'm trying to improve myself and find my own place where I belong. Sephiroth found his, albeit in a rather dark way, but I have yet to find myself. But I know I will soon, and I have loved ones who can help me.

With all of this that I've said so far, Sephiroth means a lot to me. He means a lot to me more than I thought, and just by typing this, I'm realizing that he's a character that I love and admire in the exact same level as Sonic the Hedgehog. And as silly as it may sound, I get defensive when others talk smack about my favorite fictional characters like Sephiroth. Why? Because he's someone that I can identify with, regardless of the myriad of contrasting characteristics that we have. Opposites attract!

Now what else I wish to talk about related to Sephiroth...Well, there's his current self. I can hear those that say he's a cruel bastard that will kill you at first glance in milliseconds. My boyfriend and his friends think so. Well, you know what? It's bullshit. If that were true, then why didn't he kill Zack, Tifa, and Cloud immediately? Why didn't he kill Cloud and his team right away during numerous points in the game (other than the fact he needed Cloud to get the Black Materia for him)? Because he's not just a one-track mindless killing machine! This may be an unpopular opinion, but really, Sephiroth doesn't go just "Kill kill kill! Stab stab stab!". You kiss him on the cheek, stab. You compliment him on his looks, stab. You try to join him in his cause, stab. You try to have small talk, STAB! It's boring, predictable, and annoying. Do you really think I would do that on my Sephiroth blog? I would have grown tired of it! I deleted the posts about this, but do you want to know how many characters, users, or whatever I've had Sephiroth kill in roleplays???........One. That's right. One, a character that a friend roleplays as here on Tumblr, in a span of....a year-and-a-half, I think? If I had followed the "logic" of Sephiroth the utterly mindless killing machine and does nothing else, I would have had him impale over 1000 characters, users, anons, etc., maybe 10,000. You get my point.

This sort of thing strips everything about Sephiroth. He's cunning, arrogant, and manipulative, so of course I would have to implement that in his interactions if I want him to harm or kill a character, for example. And in some cases, I portray Sephiroth as just being intimidating, mistrustful, and bitter towards characters. In others, he is intrigued by who he's talking to, and he shows a range of emotions (as long as they fit him). I make him multidimensional. Really, try portraying Sephiroth as just a killing machine and nothing else and see how long it takes for you to get tired of taking out tons of people's muses in split seconds. I'm sorry if this portion became somewhat of a rant but it has been bugging me. Moving on to another Sephiroth subject.

Ahhhh, the theories. I almost forgot about them. Let's see, the lab rat theory is kind of possible, but ShinRa didn't blatantly abuse him. Otherwise, Sephiroth would have had serious psychological issues prior to Nibelheim. If he had endured severe physical and psychological abuse, he wouldn't be calm and collected. Of course he was abused to a degree, but the thing is he didn't know he was abused. He had no idea ShinRa used him as just a tool. That's clever of them. Cruel and despicable, but clever. They had to be discreet or else Sephiroth would have questioned their motives early on or tried to get away from them. Sephiroth was their puppet, which does explain why he referred to Cloud as his puppet. If others manipulated him to screw him over, he will do the same back at them. Sephiroth basically gave them a taste of their own medicine. Unfortunately, he takes it out on the whole planet. Think about it, though. He was deceived and manipulated by others, and this is his way of showing others that he will never allow himself to be controlled by anyone anymore. And this brings me to the next theory.

Jenova possessing Sephiroth is a famous theory and I don't blame people for believing and supporting this. I confess that I used to believe this theory as well, but as I looked back at the events of Crisis Core and Final Fantasy 7, it doesn't make sense. First of all, after being used by an evil company his entire life, why would Sephiroth allow himself to be controlled by an alien that arrived to the Planet millennia ago? Yes, he was at the library at ShinRa Manor for a week reading endlessly about his origins without sleeping, and possibly eating or drinking anything. Obviously that must have left him vulnerable, but I don't believe Sephiroth would have been brainwashed easily. He was controlled by ShinRa, and he wasn't going to allow anyone else to control him again, especially Jenova. Sephiroth was the one who controlled her, not the other way around. If Jenova had gained control, that would undermine Sephiroth's reputation as the main antagonist of FF7. He is the villain, the real villain, not Jenova. Sephiroth burned down Nibelheim. Sephiroth killed many people. Sephiroth killed Aeris (or Aerith) in FF7. Sephiroth summoned Meteor to injure the Planet in order to absorb its life stream to become a god. Sephiroth created the Remnants to achieve his goal to claim the Planet as his own, become an unstoppable god, and bring despair to those who stand in his way. It's all Sephiroth. And besides, Jenova is a parasite. I doubt she would have planned all of this before trying to destroy the planet. I also doubt she's even alive. Sephiroth is the master of his ongoing desire to take back what he believes is his planet, conquer it as a god, and destroy anyone who stands in his way.

Alright then, this post has gone long enough. Now I'm not sure if this is all I have to say about Sephiroth. Well, I assumed that I did’t have much else to say in the previous post, and look! Here's another one. I like doing this sort of thing. It makes me feel good and I just love Sephiroth. I could go on forever if I want, but I’ll end it here. I hope you liked this and if there’s any more things that I haven’t said here, I’ll make sure to do a third part.