#only partially bc of politics and stupid stuff and that

[dumbasses-in-a-trenchcoat]

Sometimes social media really isn't a nice place. Obviously we all know that, but it can be nice to just seriously and unironically say it out loud sometimes.

[joesalw]

putting this here bc this blog feels like a safe space as a someone whos always been very critical of taylor despire also loving her art… plus im far too afraid to put this on main so :/

i remember back in 2023 when the whole matty ratty thing was going on, and as a jewish fan i felt completely disgusted she would even allow someone so gross and bigoted into her life. i was part of the #speakupnow campaign with other fans, i felt so desperate to make it all end and for her to condemn that man… but she didn’t. she only distanced herself. i was at least partially satisfied she stopped associating with him, and i still considered myself a fan for that reason, but the pain i felt of betrayal to her most marginalised fans never really went fully away no matter how much i tried to stuff it down.

flash forward to now. i was ready for this album, excited even to get new music, only to receive a disjointed wreck of an album that was largely defending a relationship with a neonazi freak. i feel stunned and angry. i was already growing a dislike towards her because of the whole billionaire/ecoterrorist/politically silent thing but i told myself i can still like the music and be critical or her actions at the same time. now i’m not so sure i feel that way anymore. i feel ashamed and stupid and lied to. i spent so much time and money on her only for her to continue to lowkey simp for a racist misogynistic weirdo on top of all the other shit??? idk.

i feel like i’m looking for validation from others my anger and hurt is justified, that its okay to change my mind about taylor swift, that i can still acknowledge the positive impact her art had on me and not want to support the current path shes on right now because it is hurting people and i can’t stand by and watch any longer or else i’m complicit, that i can grieve the trust i put in her to be a better person that she’s been acting like in the past year or so. i hope this ask is of no bother to you, i just saw your ex swifties tag and felt like maybe this would be a good time to speak my truth.

Your anger and hurt is completely justified, the main purpose of my ex swiftie tag is for this discussion. We are all feeling the same resentment towards her. And it's valid because we wasted so much time loving her and defending her and now it's like she's completely a different unrecognizable person, a person that's doing everything against the things she once she stood for. You may call this being parasocial but she's to be blamed for that for deliberately creating this parasocial relationship with her fans. Like dropping easter eggs, secret sessions, clues about exes, sharing diary pages etc etc as a marketing scheme to profit her branding.

[loversj0y]

Ohh boy ok

L’manbur my beloved. 

Here’s part two. Maybe the next part will be the angsty part

Can you imagine President Soot announcing the elections and learning that the reader immediately enrolled as a candidate. He’d be annoyed, but also a strange mixture of proud and exhilarated. 

This is another enemies AND lovers moment y’all. (want to hc that someone actually suggested impeachment or a vote of no-confidence against President Wilbur a couple times– which the reader actually refused to do, marking the one and only time that they defended wilbur on the political stage, saying that government should be run through debate and consideration and not mindless evictions, yada yada. Wilbur was looking at them like 😳). 

Anyway the day comes for the candidates to choose their running mates— I don't remember how that went down in canon, so I'll make some stuff up. Let’s assume that each candidate gives a short speech and then announces their future VP. It’s like a publicity stunt, getting their names out there for people to remember and hopefully vote for. 

There’s this one guy in L’manburg, let’s just call him Archibald or something (old man, dude in his 40s), who vehemently opposes everything the reader does. He doesn’t like Wilbur either

Despite all of this, A r c h i b a l d  is not a complete prick. He cares for L’Manburg in his own way, even if his tactics and views don’t align with his peers. He amassed quite a following, but wasn’t chosen as a political candidate, and resorted to glaring at the other contestants from his place in the audience. 

Back to the reader. Now, they know they are at an extreme disadvantage here. Public speaking is not their thing– shady, one-on-one contract deals are more their style. Talking to a crowd? Forget about it. They need to take a gamble. 

Wilbur chooses Tommy as his VP, Quacktiy chooses George, Fundy chooses Niki, and they choose…. Archibald.

The stadium goes silent, flabbergasted, as they announce their pick. Some of the reader’s close constituents look offended, and Archibald looks flabbergasted. But he isn’t going to pass up this opportunity– not yet at least. He shakes their hand and joins them on stage. 

By drawing a truce with their worst political enemy and showing the citizens that they are willing to work with opposing ideals,  the reader has pulled what we call a pro gamer move. 

Wilbur is a little impressed? Maybe?

Just imagine him standing on the other end of the stage, elbows on the podium, head resting against his fist as he just grins. 

Imagine his vaguely flirty behavior with Quackity, but doubled.  

Man knows how to roll an insult, pick-up-line, and partially-backhanded/partially-genuine compliment into one. 

Still too cocky to think he’ll lose the elections though. 

I swear i had other ideas about this but they won't come to me.

Also: no romance/jealousy scene is implied with Archibald. he's just some old guy politician who becomes a coworker.

also also: completely (?) unrelated but IMAGINE BEING PRESIDENT SOOT'S TAILOR. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE TENSION THAT COMES WITH STANDING BEHIND SOMEONE AS YOU LOOP A MEASURING TAPE AROUND THEIR WAIST---

anyway i am normal about this skrunkly./.,,,, elegeeant absastard.

god the sexual tension between wilbur soot and political opponents…….

the idea of tommy as his vp in this scenario seems to funny to me bc of the clips where tntduo would be havijg an intense discussion and tommy would just go. “ARE U GUYS KISSING” because he’d definitely do that

post debates, coming off stage, both a little sweaty and worked up from nerves, and wilbur’s just standing there looking too hot for his own good, so the reader picks something absolutely stupid to just fucking yell at him about, and they’re getting in each other’s faces, literally lips seconds apart, arguing in fancy political and business terms, and then tommy turns the corner. pauses.

“wilbuh can you stop MAKING OUT with the ENEMY”

also love the pro gamer move on readers part. thats actually a genuinely smart political show (until it becomes time to pass legislation but theres a reason they changed the law about who the VP ends up being (thanks hamilton))

also I HAVE THOUGHT ABT THAT MANY TIMES MAN OH MY GOD

he’s standing there, stressed and tired, and theres a lot of tension as you wrap your arms around him to measure his waist and in his exhaustion, he thinks you’re trying to hug him, and he just. fully leans into it, exhausted and wanting affection <3 and as his personal tailor, you will gladly do so and then help walk him to his room to make sure he sleeps well (and doesnt get any of his fancy clothes that you just made messed up ffs he loves gis gunpowder but that shit stain’s permanently!!!! hold on. my knowledge of gunpowder just gave me a separate idea but i dont have enough there to share yet so im going to ignore it BUT STILL)

[enderspawn]

so now that we’ve had a few days since the syndicate stream, i think ive managed to cool down and step back to look at it more neutrally. ended up long and pretty rambly since its all pretty flow of consciousness so its under the cut, but heres some thoughts on the syndicate (and a bit on c!techno, since hes the originator)

in universe, techno has only just heard a new place was made. he doesn’t know jack abt it, so he goes over to check it out and learn whats happening. he meets w tubbo, who explains they arent a gov, and accepts it then goes. hes hesitant abt the nukes, but frankly? also understandable, they are nukes. any kind of mass weapon of destruction is something to look out for, same as if tubbo revealed his own wither vault. 

i think the reason that i, and many other ppl, had such a NEGATIVE reaction to what is a mainly harmless and completely reasonable interaction is. well, bc we’re the audience. we KNOW more than c!techno does. we know that snowchester very explicitly was formed without a government because they’re afraid of techno attacking. we know that the nukes are made to defend them, based off what happened to lmanberg. we know that ranboo joined partially to try and spare snowchester if worst came to worst. 

the reason we the audience were afraid of him going is bc we feared what would happen if he DID deem it a gov. bc we know the effort they’ve done to NOT be one, bc we have a connection to the town that c!techno doesnt. 

after then came calling the syndicate/techno tyrannical. after all- if they strike down every government then they are forcing ppl to follow their beliefs under threat of destruction or death. which is uhh pretty fucking tyrannical. 

the thing is that in the end the syndicate hasnt even done enough for us to like. KNOW if thats true. techno himself said hes totally fine w just group of people living together, hell hes in a damn SYNDICATE. you can def argue in general abt what gives the syndicate the right at all to decide if a gov deserves to exist, if being “”the deciders”” makes them inherently hypocritical. (this also is pushing that “they decide” bc, well, w the exception of tubbo now, theres very little chance the other ppl would win against techno and crew. it Would just be decimation. if they attack, they’re destroying it all). 

after all, they preach abt giving ppl the right to choose but then dont let them choose to form a gov. paradox of tolerance i suppose, since in anarchistic views there isnt like a “non-corrupt” government so every government is worth dismantling. (note, this is all based off my p limited understanding of anarchy theory and also Very Simplified for ease of speaking)

another reason we the audience may have been so afraid is bc, historically, techno doesnt lose. he may suffer personal losses and feelings of betrayal, but narratively hes won every battle hes really been in. its the status quo, so any possible conflict in the future you kind of expect the same. we were afraid of any kind of conflict starting. 

i think this stuff does kinda work in character too. c!tubbo admits himself he doesnt rlly know government stuff, and he doesnt seem to really know what techno would or wouldnt DEEM one- thus he has a similar fear to the audience of being struck down for it. ranboo, like stated before, partially joined bc he was afraid FOR snowchester. 

again i get that anarchy is against that greater establishment, but theres something to be said for the fact that. well. this is a block game. its systems work a LOT differently than real life, and real life anarchist theory may not transfer over well. there are a lot of good posts ive seen recently analysing lmanberg (specifically early lmanberg) and like. it genuinely worked to protect its citizens. they were able to pool together their resources and man power and protect each other from outside threats that would overpower them seperately. there IS no big overarching societal and deeply built in system to overthrow like in real life, if anything “having a government” IS the new system trying to form instead of anarchy (bc, to my knowledge, lmanberg was the first real “government” and the dream smp’s gov kinda formed as a response) it could def be another reason so many ppl are against enforcing anarchy-- this isnt the real world, and being in solidified groups could help the weak. without that, instead its the strongest survive and thrive while everyone else suffers. 

(then again to devils advocate my own point, a lot of times they’re referring in those posts to a time where wilbur, who was actually “in charge” wasnt around a ton, so there was less of a power structure in place. also, you CAN still have a group of ppl without being a “gov” (like snowchester or the syndicate) but then we get back to “what is a gov by the syndicate’s standards” as well as if they want to remove a gov at its start or JUST when it seems “tyrannical” (so if they believe a gov is inherently tyrannical). like if i started a direct democracy gov and explicitly called it a gov, do you take it down? its taking the opinion of all citizens and allows everyone equal power. is that corrupt just bc its ALSO a gov, or does it get to stay? where is the line?  idk man maybe give the gov like a free trial. if it starts being corrupt then step in but if they’re vibin they’re vibin. chill w the anarchy /lh /hj JFKDLSJF)

idk man this isnt fully conclusion imo i just wanted to long think abt this. also fuck this block game for getting into legit political theory and ethics and shit. “is someone valid in doing something for another person that they believe will help the other person if it limits their personal freedom” (or, is techno correct in enforcing anarchy bc he believes it is the best form for ppl, EVEN at the cost of their personal freedoms to make a gov) is too deep to be asking for a fuckin block potato pig. this is why i dont do a ton of discourse im just stupid and it starts getting philosophical at some point FDSKLFJ

yall can respond w your own thoughts to this if you want, even debate it!, but idk if ill respond bc uhhhh Brain Empty fdjsklfj i just wanted to ramble and sort out my own thoughts on the matter now that im not uber pissed at c!techno JFKDLSJFKL

[elkian]

I was gonna do a “missing the point”-style meme but I’m honestly not sure that would even work tho so:

Harry Potter and My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia have similar issues with introducing and then immediately ignoring ENORMOUS issues re: ableism.

I think these two series in specific come to mind bc it’s ableism within a specific empowered community, and in both cases the series are pretty well-known and the community (Wix/Heroes) are immediately identifiable to many audiences.

[WARNING: Discussions of ableism, child harm, and abuse on multiple levels.]

What’s the problem?

SQUIBS.

[This post got stupid huge SO here is a tl,dr for all you lovely people who understandably have no time for this.

TL, DR: Both Harry Potter and Boku No Hero have a bad tendency to implement or imply a level of disability regarding unempowered people in empowered societies. They then continue on to completely disregard important conclusions to these implications, such as how heavily it is implied that these unempowered people (Squibs) are so ‘worthless’ to those societies that their very deaths are merely a byline rather than an actual tragedy.

This is especially troubling in MHA/BNHA when so many other political and worldbuilding considerations HAVE been planned out, and seems to be less-discussed in the fandom as a whole, so that’s a much larger chunk of this post.]

That’s your tl, dr!

Here’s the Harry Potter angle:

HP has a bit that I’ve seen people discussing already: Neville’s magic was discovered when his uncle dropped a literal child a potenial lethal distance. 

Neville activating his power and surviving is celebrated, and then JKR immediately glosses over the glaring issue this has introduced: the heavy implication that a Squib dying from this incident would have not have been mourned or even really commented on.

The few adult Squibs (and isn’t that a whole new slice of wonderful /j) are generally disliked and ridiculed for some reason or other. Now, while obviously there are plenty of places where the Venn diagram of “disabled” and “asshole” intersect irl, when your ONLY presentation of a disabled character or group is, every time, an asshole or a fool or both, boy! That’s bad!

Neville (who is generally presented as magically, physically, and mentally weak and often treated as comic relief) is a bit better via the POV Character constantly having positive interactions with him, but this is still a mess. Yes, Neville canonically is not a Squib, but it’s not subtle that he’s on the cusp OF being a Squib, and that is a key element of ridiculing him in many situations (also the whole trauma thing multiple times, like if I really get into it I could do a whole double-size post of how Neville was done dirty or nearly dirty by JK all the time but this isn’t that post).

This isn’t even the point of this post. Let’s move to MHA/BNHA

Hero Academia has differing but honestly even worse issues. And I’m aware that different countries handle ableism and accessibility in different ways, but if you think too hard about it this is an absolute clusterfuck.

What is the problem now?

Squibs! Or rather, the main character of the series, Midoriya Izuku.

Deku (a nickname meaning “useless”! Imparted after his disability is recognized! hilarity!!) is also born without powers. Even worse in some ways, he is born without powers in a world where the overwhelming majority of the global population has some kind of empowerment. I can’t recall if it’s outright stated or only implied that someone with a functionally useless (and hoo boy, usefullness to society is its own post nope not today i do not have that much energy) Quirk is still more of a person than a Quirkless human.

That sink in? Okay, let’s move on.

In a narratively not-uncommon turn of events, Deku gains power. This is partially a product of, and directly tied to, his own work and determination, as well as his willingness to help even when physically outmatched.

To an American audience (NOT the intended audience though I wouldn’t doubt it if Horikoshi meant to have international appeal more or less from the start), this is a deeply satisfying narrative. Who doesn’t love an underdog story? And we even learn that the strongest hero of all time (til this point, anyways) was ALSO born Quirkless!

However, from here, things take a nosedive.

The key problem is a combination of story progression and overall thought put into worldbuilding. Horikoshi’s efforts may not be the MOST thorough, but he has put a great deal of work and thought into his creation (he at least understands the concept of implications and sometimes plans accordingly, looking at you JKR). However, that tied with story progression and personal repercussions actually works to the detriment of the matter.

Especially given recent turns of events.

 [BIG MEGA SPOILERS FOR FAIRLY RECENT PLOT

 STOP HERE IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP

 SERIOUSLY]

 What I mean by this is the current state of events re: two particular recent/recent-ish plot arcs.

First, Quirk Removal, and second, Endeavor’s comeuppance.

Quirk Removal/Loss was the start of my realization to what the narrative was doing regarding Izuku’s Quirklessness and the state of being overall.

This arc was a perfect time to bring up Midoriya’s past! A lot of Western works certainly would have done so! And yes, it may be bordering on done-to-death, but many elements of Hero Academia put new twists on common themes and cliches; it wasn’t unreasonable to hope that he might do it again.

Instead, little to NOTHING is discussed during this time! In fact, iirc I’d go so far as to say Midoriya straight-up never considers his past at any point during this arc!? If I’m wrong then it obviously made little impact.

NOW, not every disabled character needs to incorporate their disability and/or skills gleaned from living with it in every narrative. In fact, it would get tedious and questionable if they did (note: this does NOT mean ignoring/forgetting the character is even disabled when convenient. Like, I’d like to think that’s the obvious point of this post but... *gestures at tumblr*). 

But the complete lack of it here feels really weird. Like, almost hollow. I think Midoriya makes some kind of suggestion to Mirio of his former Quirklessness at the end of the arc, but nothing that made any kind of impact.

Let’s move on.

Endeavor.

Now, the problem with Endeavor’s arc is not the arc itself. Or, rather, it’s the fact that Endeavor’s Comeuppance is pretty good.

This is a problem because someone else should be getting this exact same arc, yet the issue is never even RECOGNIZED, let alone addressed.

Endeavor’s abuse of his wife and children, all in the name of creating a Heroic legacy, is publicized and tanks his popularity. The general public is now aware of what he’s done to the people closest to him, which aside from giving him a more correct reputation, means they can’t trust him to protect them if they can’t trust him to protect his own family.

This isn’t the goal of this post and I’m no expert regardless, but up to this point (around chapter 290) this was handled in an interesting way. Endeavor is humanized and often shown interacting with people in a way that, while often domineering, isn’t always aggressive or abusive. He runs a Hero Agency for crying out loud! But abuse in the real world often isn’t constant, nor happening to everyone in contact with the abuser. So this is a surprisingly good lead up to the reveal, where you can understand how most people never realized this was an issue.

But here’s my main point. Let’s examine some traits and actions that come up:

physically abusive to a child (often dangerously so) to the point of permanent trauma and severe scarring in some cases

target of abuse was weaker (physically and/or regarding Quirk power)

often abused victim emotionally/psychologically, bringing this weakness up again and again

own immense power led to rising in the world of Heroics

comrades, fellow Heroes, UA teachers etc. not aware of prior abuse issues

Who does this sound like?

Endeavor, who has a whole fucking arc dedicated to this reveal and repercussions?

Or Bakugou?

Reminder: This isn’t a hate post. This isn’t a character post, or even an abuse post. This is about ableism.

Bakugou exhibits many, many traits and actions that Endeavor was literally just punished for. So why does the treatment of these characters in-universe differ so drastically?

Two primary reasons I can think of, which feed into each other:

1) Bakugou was a child (still technically is a minor, remember! Still a first-year high schooler!) when this started. This doesn’t mean he’s strictly innocent, but it’s an important point, because it leads us to

2) Bakugou Katsuki’s abuse of Midoriya Izuku is socially accepted.

Reminder of the audience’s first encounter with Katsuki. The very first page with him is him and his grade-school posse picking on a kid that Izuku is trying to protect. His posse is showing off their Quirk powers and mocking Izuku’s lack thereof.

Then we flash forward to late-middle school versions of the kids. Bakugou, in front of a fucking teacher and entire class, is verbally, physically, etc. abusive to Izuku. He trashes his stuff, threatens him, tells him to kill himself (which, as Izuku notes later, is a fucking felony in Japan too).

No one stops him.

No one criticizes him.

We don’t even get a shot of like, some more ‘regular’ students being like “man Bakugou’s kinda fucked up but we’re too scared to do anything about it” NO. NO. Everyone more or less either backs Katsuki up or straight up doesn’t care.

Remember that this started when Katsuki and Izuku were four. Remember that Katsuki’s power is absurdly dangerous, ie. LITERAL. GODDAMN. EXPLOSIONS.

Izuku has scars. He probably has hearing loss! He may have gotten at least one concussion which can cause serious neurological issues and open him up to further risk!

He could have died.

And?

NO ONE. DOES. ANYTHING.

THIS is the point of the post. THIS is the value placed on Quirkless people in this society.

And yet. Despite Endeavor’s comeuppance. Despite All Might and Izuku’s blatant ‘value’ to society through Heroics. Despite so many other political implications and quandaries address in the Hero Academia series.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing about this is addressed. The nearly-lethal ableism towards Quirkless people in this society is never ONCE brought up properly once Izuku receives One For All.

There is so much potential here! There is so much worth talking about! And yet we’ve moved into what feels very much like the Final Battle without it being addessed, despite numerous, numerous opportunities for a meaningful conversation about it along the way.

Mirio losing his power! Hell, Mirio’s powers’ drawbacks (and pretty much every Quirk’s drawback! if acknowledged properly!) border on a disability-analogue, and even more when Yuga’s laser comes up, and yet again and again we fail to truly engage with the matter in a meaningful way.

At this point, even if it comes up in the finale, I’m going to be disappointed in this particular aspect of the series due to the complete and total shut-down it’s been given so far.

What the FUCK, Horikoshi?

[sunprophets]

nobody absolutely nobody asked for a collection of my very all over the place ffxv thoughts specifically as they relate to gender/sexuality/etc AND ALSO i am supposed to be writing a paper about frankenstein that is worth 35% of my grade and due on sunday but you know what i am bursting with thoughts and ideas and opinions. everything here pertains to this specific fic of mine bc i am having fun writing it. anyways let me put all the shit under a read more so that i don’t clog up my beloved besties’ dashes

first of all i think iris and gladio r both trans AND their parents were both trans as well. clarus carried both of his children to term — he and his wife planned out both pregnancies very carefully and regis went probably more than a little overboard with making sure his friend got the best care possible. it’s partially bc of clarus and his wife that insomnia has such good trans healthcare. gender stuff was pretty easy to figure out for both gladio and iris because they had their parents to rely on for questions (well, iris only had clarus, but still). 

i know that somewhere it’s mentioned that aulea died when noctis was an infant, but in MY world she died when clarus was carrying iris. this is also when gladio’s mom died — she was protecting aulea. the two of them were close friends, close enough that she didn’t think twice before putting herself in harm’s way for her queen. it ended up being futile, but the two of them are buried side by side in aulea favourite part of the citadel gardens, underneath an old oak tree. noctis and gladio both have a habit of visiting, often separately. noctis barely remembers his mother because he was only five when she died, but he still goes and talks to her often. when he was younger he used to climb the oak and sit in the branches while he told her about his days. regis leaves him alone in these moments — his son needs his mother. 

noctis and luna are both gay. she’s the first person he tells and vice versa, via their notebook. they came up with a rudimentary code to encrypt their letters with when they were younger, and it’s stuck for years. they’re each other’s best friends and closest confidants even though they haven’t seen each other face to face in years. both of them had kind of been like “honestly it’s not so bad if i have to marry you for political reasons, it’s like living with your bestie” but then noctis goes and falls in love with his other three best friends and luna falls in love with a charming glaive and a mechanic and well. they’re each determined to make sure the other ends up happy, so they’ll do whatever’s necessary to make sure their political marriage doesn’t have to happen. 

speaking of charming glaives, crowe is the second person noctis comes out to. he spends a year training with the kingsglaive once he turns eighteen as a way of honing his magic and getting better at fighting and strategy and a lot of them take him under their wing. (finding out about the traitors in the glaive hits him hard. he has to pretend he doesn’t know, for the sake of pelna’s quiet investigation into the matter, but he wants nothing more than to scream and cry and spit in drautos’s face). he stutters through telling crowe and trips over his words. he tells her that if he had an elder sister, he hopes she would be just like crowe. he tells her that he feels safe around her. he tells her, and this is the first time he ever says it out loud, that he is gay. 

queen sylva was trans and also, from what noctis remembers of her, the coolest person in the world. luna is forced into traditional femininity for most of her life, but when she goes on the run/road trip with noct and the guys and crowe, she gets the chance to really branch out with her style and figure out what feels right. she and prompto figure out that they’re pretty much the same shoe size, so he gives her a pair of his boots to keep as her own. often when they’re in very populated areas like towns or cities she steals from ignis’s clothes — their cover is that she and ignis are siblings, and her hair’s been dyed darker to match his, and the clothes just make it seem like there’s even more a resemblance between the two of them. also, she likes the patterns that ignis wears, even when they’re subtle, and she likes the chance to wear darker colours than the white she’s usually given as the oracle. sometimes, though, when they’re all camping, she’ll steal a pair of noctis’s cargo shorts and one of prompto’s t-shirts. she thinks she looks a little silly, mostly because the shorts noctis owns are very stupid-looking on anyone, but she likes being able to look silly. she has clothes she packed from hammerhead, too: some of cindy’s shirts and some of cid’s old flannels. she’s figuring things out still, but the exploration is part of the joy for her. 

[lizzibennet]

1/2: Genuine question: do u have advice for USAmericans on empathy w/o condescension? ik you reblogged a post about how Americans only ever seem to care about THEIR issues/POV. But at the same time, ik you talked about your frustration with Americans acting as though other countries are the only ones with issues, or going "it must be hard to deal with X" as though we're above it. A lot of the time, I wanna be sympathetic to a friend, but I DON'T want to come off like I'm implying that I'm better

(2/2) bc i often worry that if i clarify stuff and go "oh and idk if you know, but [american thing] is...." or "oh, are you familiar with [american thing]?" that it's patronizing? i don't want to necessarily treat friends from other countries like i expect them to know less, but ofc, i don't also want to be so american-centric that i assume everyone always knows what i mean. and likewise, i want to be sympathetic if i see a friend's country in the news, but NOT come off as patronizing by asking

this is a delicate question simply bc i’m sure most of the time you don’t even realize what you’re doing or why you come off as patronizing so i’m going to try my best to explain why it comes across aas such and from there it might be easier for you to consider what u say. so the “it must be hard to deal with X” is condescending when it’s not directed at a person necessarily, it’s not an expression of empathy but an assertion about a fault that the us has too. it’s the insistence on pointing the finger at a “lesser” country for having this fault that is apparently so grave but the reluctance to accept that your country has that exact same issue that is bothersome, almost as if it’s only an issue when it’s convenient to make another culture seem worse than it is. like one that happened very recently to me was in a group of us friends in which i’m the only brazilian (really, i’m the only one of two out of like 20 who doesn’t live in the usa) they were like “yeah brazil is dealing with shit with a fascist leader” in a conversation i wasn’t online for and when i saw it later i was like. so you think your leader isn’t a fascist, huh, but mine is. to be clear- it’s not that i’m uncomfortable that he’s being referred to as a fascist, he is one, it’s that that word is never used towards trump in that group, even though my friends are WokeTM and definitely anti-trump. even then, they are reluctant to concede that their country is also a shithole in many senses that mine is, too. imagine that- a brazilian comparing their country to the us! the sacrilege! it’s that feeling i get. there was this time when we were talking about something politics related and i said something about trump and one of these friends was like “well it’s not like you can say much with bolsonaro in power” and it’s like. that’s not untrue but why bring bolsonaro in the picture? so i can’t discuss politics because my president sucks? that gives me more reason to be engaged in it, not less. why are you incapable of admitting fault in the us? and that is because even the Wokest of americans has it ingrained in their brain that the us is the greatest country in the world. so i’d suggest you monitor that reaction- when someone shit talks your country, is your first reaction to deny? to deflect? this is what i’m talking about:

so “non americans” (south americans, central americans, mexicans and canadians are still americans, so following this line of thot we can still tell you shit about america because we do, in fact, live in it but whatever) can’t tell you your country is horrible, even though it IS. why? we’re told that our country is shit, that our culture is wrong, that our beauty actually isn’t beauty, that our traditions are weird from the moment we’re born. why can’t you bear to hear that hey, your government is corrupt and horrible and your institutions treat people like shit? that’s not even specific to the us, that’s capitalism 101. why does it bother you that a “non american” points that out? because deep down you only think a “better” country could be critical, and deep down you still believe the us is the greatest country in the world. this person would never admit that they think this because they have a colonialist mindset that is, by default, racist as all hell, but that is in fact why “non americans” especifically telling them shit bothers them. they’re speaking about perceived injustice without realizing the place of privilege they’re in. this person above is like “if what the us is doing is directly affecting your country by all means speak up” as if the only countries affected by the us are the ones with troops stationed, as though that’d shut up the rest of us, showing they actually know shit about their own history and how it affects others’. i’m using this example because look at the retweets! people agree with this because they’re not aware and they live in comfortable ignorance, and it’s this ignorance you will have to go against- it will NOT be comfortable to you and you’ll wish you could be like “hey i suffer too” which isn’t the point, you know, the point is that your privilege actively hurts other people and to act like it’s an independent entity from how you interact with other people is disingenuous

to go “oh idk if you know this but” is definitely patronizing bc like a person from a “third world” country who is even minimally well informed knows, i assure you. if you would expect a local friend to know, chances are that if it’s a country-wide issue we will know, too. we probably won’t know about the particularities of your town’s mayor, but we will know about the bill that was passed that affected your state and about the protests in your city because we watch the news too, and world wide news is about fifty-fifty local news and international news (which, to you, “international” news would just be your local news). “are you familiar with x” is fine to ask imo but one thing that is also bothersome is the assumption that someone who lives in the same continent as you has such a different life that we won’t know idk like how a private post office works or something. even countries that are VERY dissimilar culture-wise are more similar than people think and, say, a south american country and the us are really not as dissimilar as us people seem to think. like recently i saw a youtuber comment on this case of a child singer who was very sexualized, and he was like “idk if that’s common in brazil but that’s not okay” and it’s like. WHAT do you think is common in brazil??? pedophilia?????? children shaking their ass isn’t okay anywhere, why the fuck would you assume culturally we’re so far away from you, of COURSE it is more common than it should be but do you really think there aren’t kids twerking in your country, do you genuinely think people here are inherently more sexual than people there just because, i- UGH headache emoji. that’s not to say each hasn’t its particularities but i guess what i’m trying to say is that the exotification of an entire country is bothersome. if you act like i, a privileged middle class white girl from brazil am a savage and ignorant and uncultured just because i don’t live in the us, even though my life in many aspects is quite similar to yours, then it PAINS me to think of what you’d think of even more different people, like my gran who was born in the middle of the amazon- if you think ill of me (even if unconsciously) then what will you think of her and her people, you know? even without much context my friends from the us get what i say when i speak about things that differ in our lives as middle class 20 year olds from different countries, because again it’s not so dissimilar, and if they don’t get it, they ask. from the get go i assume that they’re intelligent enough to fill in the blanks, so i don’t like being assumed less than capable of following a conversation just because i don’t have every minute detail, and in general, i feel like the entire population of my country is often assumed less than capable. when we encounter someone from outside who hasn’t a lot of context of how things go here, that is simply it - they’re a person without countext and we will help them understand it - but when it’s us who lack the context there is a clear implication that we do because we’re stupid and we should learn on the spot because we should know already anyway. you’re not being too american centric when you assume your friends are at least partially well informed, you’re being realistic tbh lol to assume we’re any less is to assume we’re less intelligent than you. expecting people to know is bad but assuming people won’t know worldwide huge topics that any person with an internet connection would is also not great

genuinely i think if you see a friend’s country in the news and want to ask if they’re okay and their opinion on it i don’t see any occasion in which you’d be condescending unless you tried really hard to be LOL like i think your friends will generally just be happy you thought of them. checking up on them is actually the kind of behavior we don’t expect from a self-centered usa person so i just think they will appreciate your concern. just don’t be like “oh sweet summer child cinnamon pie baby angle :-( poor u on a shithole country,,,,,,,” nor “wow must be hard dealing with [basic problem every other country also goes thru, including urs]. pooooooor thing who doesn’t have access to civilization :-((((((((((((((”

i’m sorry i’m so snarky in this sometimes but it’s because it couldn’t be more simple: if you think of the issue and consider it in a worldwide context, don’t speak about it as though your experience is law, don’t forget that other countries have other political contexts, and yet, don’t forget that normal people just like you live in those settings. literally just remember there’s seven billion people on this planet and b like oh shit, am i being ethnocentric rn,,,, it should be pretty clear tbh it’s not rocket science.

[thegeminisage]

rebl*g this and die, freaks. anti-holiday tw for uhh anyone who needs that lol

i hate i hate i HATE CHR*STMAS i hate the INSTITUTION OF GIFT GIVING it’s all about CONSUMERISM and PEER PRESSURE

i hate the EXCHANGE OF OBJECTS i hate the HOARDING OF STUFF

i got 10 gifts tonight. of those 10 gifts, i can use and/or like 4 of them. (wet cat food which was actually a gift for gracie lol, a gift card, new sheets bc mine are the wrong size, and a new office chair). those things are really nice gifts and i’m grateful! especially the office chair because mine BROKE recently and they’re expensive and hard to find (my mom and her buddy went halvsies on it)

however this leaves me 6 things i do not want and cannot use...some of them are from my mom, who really DID NOT NEED to get me SO MANY gifts because i only got her 2. (i hate the imbalance of reciprocity because i will never have enough money to get gifts for all the people that give ME gifts.) 1 of them is from my mom’s buddy. so that’s all stuff i can’t even resell at the flea market because they’d see them and get their feelings hurt and the house is already so full of stuff we don’t need or use that we can’t even have company over and every year my mom cries about how ashamed of it she is and EVERY YEAR WE ACCUMULATE MORE STUFF and i have to be polite! i have to pretend i want the stuff!

and the gifts i got that i don’t want and can’t use came from people i only see twice ever, on thanksgiving and christmas, and i barely know them, and they barely know me, and actually i don’t even LIKE some of them (and they don’t like me - got into it on FB once before i stopped visiting that site permanently). 

and then we have to give the stuff! to everyone! we don’t have any money but every year at christmas we have to put together gifts for LITERALLY dozens of people - flea market people, family people, nursing home buddy people, friend circle a, friend circle b, etc etc etc

we spend all this time putting together stuff that’s either cheaply-bought & easily mass-produced (like mugs with hot chocolate) that I KNOW NOBODY ACTUALLY WANTS or stuff that we can’t really afford - my brother and i frequently get up to $100+ bucks worth of christmas gifts - again, most of which i don’t want and can’t use and which my mother CANNOT AFFORD TO GIVE US - because “it’s christmas” and we have to have a mountain of presents. THAT IS JUST CONSUMERISM

and my mother can never EVER put together that many gifts on time. NEVER. i am ALWAYS the one helping her do it. in the MIDDLE of winter when i don’t want to do anything but die, basically! for my least favorite holiday! and then when i’m not jumping for joy and excitedly doing the wrapping like santa’s good little fucking helper i get yelled at for having a bad attitude and ruining the holidays!!

and GOD FORBID. that everything isn’t picture-perfect! a speck of dirt on a mug? a crack? okay let’s toss it and get a new one. let’s scrub it. a price sticker? that’s gotta come off, residue and all. no we can’t just partially peel it. no we can’t just color over it with a sharpie

and it’s not just the gifts! i got glared at MULTIPLE times today just for opening my fucking mouth. someone says about my aunt’s dog: “aw, she’s a good dog.” me, jokingly: “good and spoiled!” and then i get the death glare. literally no one, NO ONE, was offended except my mother, not even my aunt herself, who is notoriously easily offended. i shit talk my own cats all the time! it wasn’t that big of a deal! i didn’t call anybody racist or anything! tried to tell my aunt how i found the old pictures of her dog as a puppy i got her as her gift and got SHUSHED because my mom thought i was going to inadvertently give away someone else’s gift, as if i don’t have any fucking common sense. she’s just that paranoid! that one little thing! will be ruined!

and then there’s the actual dinner which is a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS to cook, and do the men help? never. they do good to carry the food to the table when it’s finished. they don’t help cook, they don’t help clean, they don’t even pay for the fucking groceries. they sit and watch tv!!! they talk shit about minorities and homeless people!!!!! and if i say anything then I AM THE ONE RUINING CHRISTMAS

and nobody in my family is even EXCITED OR GRATEFUL we’re all just a bunch of ASSHOLES?? so last night we spent an hour gift wrapping ten different blankets and labeling them with what color they were and today everyone picked a blanket and nobody was really excited about it. blankets are boring gifts you give to people who you don’t know well! so that whole hour was spent for 5 minutes of mediocre graditude! like what is even the point! yk at least when i get useless stuff i don’t need i give it my best college try at being 

and when my mom asks me! why do you hate christmas! and i try to explain that i hate the institution of gift-giving! when i’m like, i don’t like it, it’s exhausting and expensive! she’s like well the whole point of christmas is the spirit of giving!! and [GAMESHOW BUZZER SOUND] W R O N G ! the point of christmas is CAPITALISM and PEER PRESSURE and PERFECTIONISM this shit ain’t about jesus even i, an atheist, knows that jesus would weep to see how shallow and false his bday bash is every year

and i have stayed up late MULTIPLE nights in a row wrangling GIFTS, some of which are for people i’ve never even MET, all because my mother likes to bite off more than she can chew EVERY YEAR. she has like a basket of lollipops she wants to give out at the local nursing home and she went through THREE BASKETS so that the arrangement of lollipops would be pretty. she re-wrapped my SIL’s gift because it was ugly. it doesn’t matter if she’s tired and her arthritis is killing her and she’s past her bedtime she will not stop until all the gifts look like they came from martha stewart or some shit! and they are just! going to get ripped up!

and we didn’t even have time to play giant jenga today which is the ONLY acceptable chr*stmas activity and we probably won’t have time to play tomorrow either!!!!!!!!!! stupid! the whole thing is stupid! i hate mass gift-giving! birthdays only! BIRTHDAYS ONLY. only specific people should be getting gifts at a time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHR*STMAS IS STUPID IT IS LITERALLY THE WORST HOLIDAY AND IT LASTS FOR TWO MONTHS E V E R Y Y E A R BECAUSE GOD HATES ME PERSONALLY I GUESS chr*stmas being the longest holiday and also set in the winter is my punishment from god for being an atheist and frankly @ god fuck you too pal

[twshitlord]

I think it's stupid when people say stuff like that to trans people because they probably wouldn't say something what the person is well aware of already or get a rouse out of someone with some other condition like calling a person with a body disfigurement a freak or whatever. They'd be understanding and help the person, but a lot of people do annoying things probably bc it's not well understood by many and all these genders/ sjw types mess up what transgender is

I think it mostly is ignorance. If being transgender were properly treated as the medical condition it is, I think more people would realize that it’s not just a “delusion” that needs to be dismissed.

However, when people start preaching the “Smash the binary! Gender is whatever you want it to be!” narrative, it only reinforces the negative belief that this is all some delusional attempt to get attention, etc.

Being gay, lesbian, or bisexual has, in most of the western world, been recognized as something that is an inborn trait. This is partially due to of years of LGBT activism that insisted that these people were no different than anyone else.

Transgender people are unfortunately being tied up into identity politics and this idea that queer identity > anything and everything else. I hope that with time, we can enter the mainstream media with more messages of, “We’re just like you. We’re not aliens, we’re not a special, fragile class of soft bois and girls. We’re students, professionals, larborers, athletes, and everyday people with a rare condition. We transition because it is our only bid for even the slightest chance of a normal life.”

When we are no longer slapped into things as a progressive token character or a political stepping stone, I think we will be able to start gaining acceptance as people, not just as a label.

[adrianicsea]

im kind of confused by always sunny like what is it actually about? like some of the things in it make me rly uncomfortable like the whole thing with carmen and mac's homophobia and the casual racism nd stuff in it nd i just dont kno how im supposed to react to it like am i supposed to love it and find it funny or hate it and the characters or? idk nd ive been on the iasip reddit as well and its a lot different from what ive seen the fandom on here talk abt tbh? idk

this is a really good question! and one that i had myself before i started the show. unfortunately it’s not something i can answer very briefly so please bear with me. i’m just gonna throw out the facts and things as i see them and then you can draw your own conclusions on how to feel about the show; i will readily admit that it has more than its share of legitimate issues and that the show just isn’t for everyone.

so the basic premise of the show is that four self-centered assholes (joined by a fifth self-centered asshole in season 2) own a shitty irish bar in south philadelphia. they never actually RUN the bar, though, because they’re too busy trying to run get-rich-quick schemes or because they’re doing other stupid things.

if you ask the writers, they will say that there IS no premise; it’s just a show about these horrible characters living out their sad, pathetic lives.

the truth is somewhere in the middle-- the show is one third social/political satire, one third nihilist comedy, and one third character-driven tragedy.

i DON’T blame you for being concerned about the transmisogyny, mac’s internalized homophobia, the racism, and everything else-- the show is meant to be a satire, but the early seasons aren’t very good about making that clear, so it really comes off SUPER cringe-worthy. most people actually recommend to new viewers that they skip season 1 entirely and only come back to it later if they really like the show. in later seasons the writers get better about handling SOME of the more sensitive topics they discuss (their record with race is STILL really fucking spotty though, as is their treatment of carmen.)

the characters are intended to be horrible people; you aren’t supposed to support their beliefs or want them to succeed. the writers are VERY clear about this-- every time you see the characters say or do something racist, or sexist, or homophobic, or generally Bad, it ALWAYS ends up coming back to bite them in the ass. not once are they rewarded for their behavior; more often than not, they’re actively punished for it. some of the enjoyment of the show is meant to be schadenfreude; we’re SUPPOSED to like watching how miserable and awful these characters are.

(this is where reddit fandom gets lost-- they don’t realize that the show is satire/political commentary, and think that the show and the writers actually SUPPORT being the biggest, most conservative, backwards asshole you possibly can be.)

the writers themselves don’t condone any of the characters’ beliefs or actions. rob mcelhenney (who created the show and plays mac) was partially raised by two lesbian moms growing up, and his brother is gay as well. glenn howerton (dennis) is also very vocally adamant about lgbtq issues, ESPECIALLY trans rights and bathroom bills. he even chose to name his character dennis instead of some variation on his real name because he didn’t want people thinking he was ANYTHING like his character. admittedly charlie day (who plays... charlie) has been to known to say some really stupid shit before and is probably the least politically aware of the three of them, but i think he means well and is just ill-informed?

anyways, the reason tumblr sunny fandom is so different from reddit sunny fandom is bc the tumblr demographic is, for the most part, lgbtq+, mentally ill millennials. and sunny actually has a lot for that sort of person to read into.

the characters are all such shitty people in part, it turns out, because they’ve all had horrific childhoods. charlie survived an attempted abortion before he was even born, and grew up living with his alcoholic mother who worked as a prostitute to take care of him. he was abused by his uncle, which left him so traumatized that he still has flashbacks and nightmares about it as an adult and is functionally asexual. due to what is likely a mix of severe dyslexia and ADHD that went untreated all his life, charlie can’t read. mac grew up being neglected by both of his parents and has abandonment issues because his dad was taken to prison when he was only ten or so. he grew up devoutly catholic, which led to a lot of internalized homophobia and self-hatred as, throughout the show, it becomes clear that mac is gay himself. dee and dennis, twins, were raised in a mansion, with a lot of money but no love. their parents, frank and barbara, openly argued and hated each other in front of them, and barbara treated dennis like a trophy while she absolutely DESPISED dee. this led to dennis developing a superiority/god complex, an eating disorder, and, we find out in season 10, borderline personality disorder. conversely, dee became consumed by self-esteem and inferiority issues, as well as a very aggressive personality; she’s always ready to attack someone because she grew up having to defend her own existence to her mother. frank (dee and dennis’ dad, who joins the group in s2) was institutionalized as a child, presumably against his will. in the book, we find out that his dad used to physically and emotionally abuse him, too.

ALL of them are mentally ill, and a good chunk of them are lgbtq, as well-- in addition to mac and charlie, dennis is STRONGLY coded as bisexual within the show. what’s more, the writers have outright stated several times that the entire group is bisexual, “except for mac, who’s straight-up gay.” (i’m not sure that frank was included in this statement, however-- frank remains pretty grossly ignorant and homophobic throughout the show, and never does anything that struck me as being Not Straight.)

none of these reasons are ever used to EXCUSE what the characters do, only to explain why they think and act the way they do. it’s these tragic backstories that make the characters human and, on some level, relatable, likable, or at least sympathetic. seeing the sort of people that hang out on tumblr, it makes sense that we would gravitate to different parts of the show than the reddit fans do.

so, how should you react to the show? that’s up to you. we’re not meant to celebrate or support these characters’ actions or beliefs, but it can sometimes be hard not to care about them even a little, knowing why they’re such sad, broken people. at different times, the show can be funny on an innocuous level (charlie’s dating profile is a good example of the show’s sense of humor when it isn’t being political), it can be funny the way a good political satire can be funny, or it can completely miss the mark and become REALLY, really unfortunate. after 12 years, there’s several examples of each scenario.

if you made it to the end of this, THANK YOU for taking the time to read the whole thing. like i said, the show isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay! i just wanted to throw out my thoughts on it for you to do with what you will. thanks for asking, and i hope you’re having a nice day!

[datingadviceonreddit]

TL;DR He has a girlfriend and I’m just gutted. It sucks to feel so heartbroken over someone I never even dated.I’m just gonna lay out all the details so someone can objectively lmk how to improve my game, as I keep analyzing every bit of this while wallowing in self pity lol.I matched with this guy on Tinder in April 2017, but we never met up til January 2018 because I live a couple hours away and our schedules never lined up when I visited his city then. First mistake - I started the tinder convo just talking about art based on one of his tattoos, didn’t tell him how cute I think he is, made the convo all about our mutual interests... we have a LOT in common, but I forgot about the flirting even when he sent a message about how much he likes my style. We followed each other on IG and would DM on there as well as text, and when we finally met up it was for coffee. Second mistake, he asked me what I wanted and I blurted out “I’ll pay”(?!) and placed my own order, which I feel like was turning it away from any possibility of being a date. As we were chatting (convo was really easy and fun), he called me pretty at one point and i just laughed it off. We then walked around, I took a couple film photos of him, visited a record store, then happily parted ways as I had to catch a bus back home.The next day, he messaged me while high at 4 am about journalism stuff, asking me about a novel he recommended me, and lastly saying it was “nice to have a friend to talk to about journalist issues who is also super rad” which is sweet but also like, ouch @ “friend” - I guess I should have known it was doomed from then.The thing is, I built up this idealized version of him and to this day I can’t find a single flaw - but then again, we’ve only met in person a couple times and all our other interactions have been through texting or social media. It’s delusional, but I would be so happy whenever we unearthed another common interest or shared view. He’d message me and comment on my posts with cute nicknames, yet the rational part of me knew he is like that with all of his friends. All that reasoning aside, in my head I’m still like he’s fucking PERFECT and I adore him and I wish I could spend more time with him and my heart gets all glittery every time he talks to me.Months passed as I was busy with finishing the year of uni til april then studying for a summer exam, and he went overseas and came back at the time when I went overseas. All said and done, we hadn’t seen each other for a long time so in October he texted me saying he missed me, asked when he was gonna see me, and asked about a recent event I’d been to. I let him know I’d be there for Halloween weekend, and he said he wants to go out to some functions together, so naturally I was excited. Closer to the weekend I DMd him asking if he has plans, and I said we should get drinks before anything that’s happening in the eve. Again he said he def wants to see me, and he’d lmk what his plans are. After that he kept replying to my stories and commenting on my posts and so on, but I didn’t hear from him til he called me at midnight on Friday night (I missed the call) then texted me in all caps asking me what I’m up to. I told him about the club my friends and I were headed to, and he told me he was so excited to see me, and at this point I was like (!!) even though part of me suspected he was dating a girl he posted on his story with the caption “j-school date” (although it could have been a study date, I sorta reassured myself lol)So I leave the house party I’m at and I’m at this club with my friends at 1 AM, when he taps my shoulder and I’m all happy to see him, we hug and gush over each other’s costumes and THEN //// he goes “this is my girlfriend, (name)!”Not to be fucking dramatic but my heart dropped in that moment. I overcompensated by being really thrilled to meet her lol, and I also introduced him to a few of my close friends. One of them asked how we met, to which we both replied “tinder”, and he was like “Yeah I’ve actually made more friends on tinder than gone on dates!”.... like FUCKKKK. I knew it was coming, I didn’t really make my interest clear, and both of us are queer and really friendly w everyone so I guess even affectionate names and stuff don’t do the trick right off the bat, if that makes sense. For the rest of the night after he left (he had just dropped in for a bit to catch up with me), I was super sad and just ended up staring into space while my friends asked if I’m good. I’m so disappointed because I know we wouldn’t be able to date bc of the distance, and I’m not moving to the city until likely next year.. but it still hurts to see him with someone else. I know it’s ridiculous because we haven’t been together in person much, however even from those encounters I felt so comfortable with him and he’s clearly adored by everyone who knows him. He’s just a genuinely good person who gets my interests and my politics and would be the perfect friend if I wasn’t so terribly attracted to him.I feel like I’m never going to find my “person” because I over analyze everything about dating due to my lack of experience. Part of this stems from growing up in a household that doesn’t allow dating, but even now that I have more flexibility I feel like I’m playing catch up. I focus too much on my own self loathing to the point where I doubt people who express any interest in me, and I feel afraid to make a straightforward first move except in a drunk hookup situation. Generally matching with someone on tinder indicates that there’s mutual interest, but even then I manage to spin be situation and think maybe this person just wants to be friends. I’m not as afraid to flirt with people who I just want to hook up with, but with this guy I really thought he was cool so I didn’t act aloof and make plans for a one night stand, I tried to get to know him as a friend. The more I write about it, the more stupid I feel but I just needed to vent. It’s not like he was leading me on, but it’s just usually when a guy has expressed wanting to see me it’s been because he’s into me so I gave myself false hope. I want to stop obsessing over all the details, but there’s no one in my smaller city (picture: a lot of white frat guys) who’s even remotely like him, he seems to be like the epitome of my type. I just want to focus on my studies and my work and forget about dating until I move, but I also can’t stop thinking about him and letting this whole thing wear down my self confidence.Also, sorry I used the word “feel” SO damn much as I look back at this lol I’m just gonna smash the “post” button without editing via /r/dating_advice

[groundramon]

even numbers for the ask thingy

2. favourite movie?

BIG HERO 6 because i am a weeb

4. dream date?not to be nsfw but id love to c*ddle and watch dumb anime w/ my bffs some day (i’d @ them but i dont wanna scare them ysdbcakjf and one of them doesnt have a tumblr but - rainy moony sharpy ily sobs)

6. what are your hobbies?Doing dumb shit, drawing when my tablet decides to work, writing when my brain decides to work, watching Appmon, and crying

8. if you could look like anything, what would you look like?DRAGON.

10. what’s your favourite type of weather?The kind of cloudy that blocks the sun but not a rainy cloudy, a cool breeze, maybe mid 70s during the day and 60s at night, p dry humidity but not like super dry humidity because my body will start falling apart, … raining is also ok but 1. its gotta be cooler and 2. i just dont wanna get wet so not during the day when im out pls

12. what are your turn ons?dr. agons.

14. if you got a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?I’ve always been partial to orioles and I’ve thought abt getting one of those dove-symbolic tattoos but with an oriole, probably with something in its beak that promotes love an acceptance (or since it’s like the dove from noah’s ark, incorporate a rainbow theme into it, and smth about how it can mean multiple things) and im not sure where it’d be but probably on my shoulder, low enough to see if i roll up my sleeve but high enough that i can cover it if i have to

16. dream job?Television writer for kids’ animation!!! serialized/fantasy animation like ATLA, Hilda, TDP, ect

18. dream vacation?Visiting ALL the pokemon centers in japan (or at least like, the biggest ones, Please)

20. if you had kids, what would you name them?Fuckboy and lavagirl

22. worst traits?Ok I dont want to be self loathing BUT a pet peeve I have @ myself is that every time I get a shiny pokemon im like “oh i am so fucking sexy I love SOS hunting” and then I try SOS hunting again and i die after 3 hours of misery for like 10 times before I get lucky again, and then the cycle repeats

anyways im off to go sos shiny h-

24. what do you want to eat right now?Hnggg i havent had blackberry frozen yogurt for so long

26. favourite city?whatever city in japan has the biggest pokemon center, thats my favorite

28. favourite article of clothing?awfully bold of you to assume that I avoid being nude for any other reason than dysphoria and self-conciousness

30. favourite meal of the day?I do enjoy my daily morning fruit loops

31. what are you excited for?HNG I might adopt a snek from my local reptile rescue place… my mom likes this 1 snake called a rosy boa and we think it might be rlly good for our situation!! because i’ll obvs have it (hopefully) going into college and although I want to move into a place where I can have the snake by my third year, my parents may want to go on vacation before then, sooo even tho feeding isn’t an issue water is.  HOWEVER rosy boas can go for pretty long periods of time without water, it seems like? so they might be perfect!! they’re also docile and small and apparently really stupid.  We were gonna ask abt the rosy boa and stuff tomorrow but my dad might need us to pick him up while costco works on his car :/ but we’ll look into the individual snake more soon.  This is kind of what it looks like btw!!!

so i realized after answering this that I did this wrong F so ill just answer the right question now but leave this

32. not excited for?Going to costco with my dad instead of looking at cute sneks at my local reptile rescue :/

34. dream house?So many plushies…….bed of plushies….bed of kinetic sand…..many reptiles….but like nice ones, i cant keep iguanas they make me sad :(

36. what’s something you love about the world?REPTILES but uh, honestly?  If humanity wasn’t so much of a hivemind as it is now thanks to the internet and whatnot (which sounds terfy and suspiciously aphobic but stay with me) I feel like humanity would have such amazing potential to structure itself in such an amazing way.  And by the hivemind, I mean we’re all connected and most of us function off of the same idea of human rights and government format.  I really believe in the freedom of speech but it’s hard to defend it when homophobes are the majority instead of the minority.  Plus, humanity isn’t evil, but the way corporate capitalism is has beaten us all into heartless monsters.  Socialism WOULDN’T work in america at large because capitalism turned us into greedy bitches.  It’s not fundamentally flawed, but we’ve been shaped into something incompatible with socialism, sadly.  So I kind of just bitched about the world but my point is, humans are very flexible, and we can change so much in so little time.  It takes effort to change an entire culture, but the flexibility of human nature from generation to generation is heartwarming.

38. what kind of sleeper are you?It’s super hard for me to fall asleep if there’s even like 1 sound but once im asleep im dead fucking asleep.  I wear ear plugs so you cannot wake me up.  Today a fridge repair man came and my parents said he was running this super loud machine but the only thing i heard was the dude leaving after everything was over bc thats when i happened to wake up.

40. are you a cat or dog person?CAT CAT CATCATCAT BUT IM ALLERGIC SOBS like dogs are good boys but we don’t get along.  I mean dogs like me, but I think - especially in more intelligent dogs - we kind of just respect each other from a distance.  Meanwhile I’m basically just an uglier cat so

(also i like snakes because they’re basically cats but noodlier, stupider, and im not allergic to them)

42. free! ask anythingSOL YOU DIDN’T ASK ME ANYTHINJG

44. are you trusting?It depends.  If you’ve done smth to make me suspicious, then I’m suspicious.  If not, then I’m not.  I’m also kind of just an open book to everyone i meet as long as I think they’re LGBT friendly and whatever so yeah, i dont have a lot of secrets lmao

46. what labels do you commonly get?I’m pretty sure this isn’t related but my friend diagnosed me as Digit from Cyberchasers-kin today

48. what issues are you dealing with right now?Jesus christ where do i fucking start okay:- tablet broken, dont know why (well i know whats wrong but i cant fix it), have to draw at particular angles to draw, cant use paper bc of sensory overload, big sad- mom’s phone is breaking, dont know why, big sad- fridge broke, its fixed now but i need cold water to not have headache and its taken all damn day to cool down- still grieving over Peppermint- politics Suck- Friends upsetti over miscellaneous shitty (not at me tho we wuv each other)- sensory overload makes EVERYTHING SO LOUD- we’re almost out of milk. i dont know if ill have enough milk for my fruit loops tomorrow. help.- my fingers?? were literally peeling because it was so dry here for a lil while??? theyre kind of better now but then i decided to sew so i fucked them up again- also did i mention im super behind on plushies- also my sewing machine isnt working with the thread i need it to work with (or im dumb)- I still have hang nails and im constantly worried abt nose bleeds bc of the lack of humidity Please Help Me- I owe my parents so much fucking money for vet bills and plushies.  They didnt even charge me for the more expensive vet bill or the cuddle clones plush, just the first bill.  But I only have like $32 left on that and I owe like $44 for plushies that I bought after the vet bill so I’m also just stupid- cuddle clones hasnt contacted me since i placed the order and i never specified the pose (bc there wasnt enough fucking room) so im concerned- i sent the reptile rescue guy an email but he didnt get back to me and im Big Sad bc if hed Reply i wouldnt even have to go (well obvs i would eventually, but i just mean like, rn)- mom’s battling in court for her inheritance because my step grandma is a bitch, and my dad’s been having Drama with his siblings after my grandma passed away, and im big stressed

50. what’s something about you people don’t know?Like how many people we talking here? bc if you mean nobody knows then aw piss this doesnt count. but if you mean just like tumblr/excluding like 3 other people uhhh i might be working on a warrior cats fanfiction because oh you know im a weeb.  But if you mean nobody knows then i want to write a harujin fanfic but im lazy. also you could probably guess that i want to write that but. it still counts.

[literarymotions]

Not a Caged Bird, Dammit; or, Tales From the Past Arc: Sofia’s Conflagration

(follows on from / links back to this discussion thread on my main blog. this post is not done / is subject to editing.)

Sofia has basically been raised by a terrifying conspiracy of people planning to use her for power, in a situation somewhere between “jinchuuriki” + “generic-evil-cult sacrifice” + “Avatar” except also mostly Jean Grey. (...it. yeah. this is not going to end well for anybody involved; and the more Sofia grows up, the more she is aware of that.) The thing is, this is /not/ the first time they’ve done this (there’s a sort of born-again immortality thing going on) so they know to keep the terrifying cosmic-force-in-a-personbottle calm and happy. All her physical needs are taken care of (that her caretakers are deeply terrified of ticking her off / ticking their bosses off couldn’t possibly have a negative impact here); she’s taught now to speak (but not read or write, because knowledge is power); she’s given everything she asks for (except she can’t ask for an open door outside).

So then Sabine, who is smol and has practice at being not-noticed (and, unbeknownst to herself, is going to be terrifically good at illusion-type magic in the future) more or less stumbles over this weird “Secret Garden” sort of place up in the rich part of town. The garden is Sofia’s backyard; which is nice, except she Cannot Leave.

Cue Prince-and-Pauper-type plot*; except mostly it’s about Sofia learning from Sabine how to sneaky, and Sabine learning from Sofia how to play the society manners game, and the girls accidentally-on-purpose helping each other out for Entirely Selfish Reasons-

[*They don’t look /exactly/ alike; but in one of those totally-not-narratively-contrived coincidences, they do have similar enough builds / facial features / skin tones to pass for one another from a distance (even without magical help). Quite different mannerisms / posture / styles, though.]

They get each other out of their respective societal / economic / whatever-system-induced pits, and they both move the fuck on with their lives. (They stay in touch, of course. Sabine was Sofia’s first actual friend; her first meaningful interpersonal connection at all. There is a part of her that continues to think of Sabine as ‘my way out’ - no, this is not healthy, but this is how this story is writing itself atm.)

And then Sofia dies. The firebird always dies; there are Rules set into the local magic system on a very basic level, and one of them is that the force’s mortal vessel /must/ die.

The difference is, now: instead of Sofia tragically killing herself in a tragic loss-of-control bc of course that’s the only possible ending for an innocent young maid with far more power than she ever could have been expected to control, of course-

Sofia sees her death coming, and sees this whole damn stupid cycle of god-children born to serve and die young- She reminds her old Family why chaining up a god is a bad idea. Put simply, she goes into the spell structures that will inevitably make a child to take her place as she dies, and she, ah - edits them, just a bit. Just one line. Specifically, the line that defines that child as the force’s /vessel/.

She still dies, and it’s still a goddamn pointless tragedy. It’s arguably /worse/ this way, bc this Sofia is a college graduate, a scholar - she had all these plans to go into business or politics or change something, do her part to change the world, make her mark, leave a legacy -

(can you hear me projecting? bc this is damn loud)

so, so this is it, that’s it. Her legacy is an apartment full of stuff that she willed to her friends (because she died alone, but she did not live lonely) and Sabine screaming every swear she knows at an empty grave, and a child. The child Sofia ran away from home in-large-partly so she wouldn’t have to have it in the first place, yeah.

That child, who will have a parent and a home, not a prison. Who isn’t dead in the cradle, who isn’t going to grow up in a fancy padded cage with flowers painted on, who Sabine will keep an eye on no matter how little she likes kids (spoiler: Sabine does not like small children, and she really  did not want one).

Sofia dies, because Plot Declares It. But first, she lived - and her legacy is a break in the cycle which perpetuates a very broken system. ...also an end-of-the-world scenario about to happen, bc planning ahead was not really one of her strong points. She didn’t live long enough to bother learning how to plan past the next year or so.

[On a related side note, as long as I’m working on a completely original cosmogony I might as well figure out what the afterlife system looks like in this ‘verse. (If there /is/ one, but. yeah.) I’m thinking that there’s at least /some/ kind of echo left behind, in a metaphor for how the impact someone has on other people’s lives doesn’t end when they die; but if there turns out to be a not-completely-contrived mechanic for it, then I am absolutely going to have Sofia ascend to a higher plane of existence as a result of all the destruction + rebirth magic floating around when she died.

Like, I still don’t like this “killed herself partially out of spite” revised ending I’ve come up with all that much, but. Sofia’s entirely capable of being a spiteful little asshat, when all else fails. If she can’t burn a bridge cleanly and peacefully and more-or-less happily for all parties involved, then she will burn it down with gasoline and C4 and a lighting strike. Yes, I said ‘and’. I know what I wrote.

Her successor in no way inherits this character trait, I promise. There is no way she is a perpetual ball of low-simmering anger.

...incidentally, Sabine is not going to be the greatest parent. I mean, she’s not terrible. She TriesTM. They’re just ...too much alike in all the worst ways possible - and then too different, as Michel grows older and starts divorcing her opinions from what she was raised with, and-

yeah, uh, totally not me projecting here at all nope.]