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#only one woman is allowed to sit at his desk
mrs-remarkable · 11 months
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4.01 // 4.02
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alygator77 · 28 days
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idk, i've been thinkin about long distance satoru :') just a little something i wrote while experiencing a bit of writers block. it's inspired on a military relationship but it can really be just any long distance!
warnings: nsfw, mdni 18+, smut and fluff
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long-distance! satoru whose heart aches when you have to say goodbye, holding you closer just a little bit longer than usual as he tries to memorize every detail—the warmth of your body, the scent of your hair, the way your arms fit perfectly around him. he knows that the absence of your touch will leave him feeling empty again, a void only you can fill.
long-distance! satoru who texts you every morning and night, because you are the first and last thing on his mind.
long-distance! satoru who calls you late one night after a long mission. exhausted but unable to sleep, he finds comfort in the sound of your voice.
“mmm… ‘toru?” the innocent sound of your sleepy voice immediately melts him, his tension easing from your soothing whisper.
“heya sleepy head…you got a minute?”
you stay on the phone with him all night, talking about everything and nothing, until you fall asleep.
long-distance! satoru who listens to your soft, rhythmic breathing through the phone, and quietly confesses how much he misses you, how the sound of your voice and the warmth of your embrace are the only things that keep him grounded in a world that feels increasingly cold without you.
long-distance! satoru who loves when you send him a compilation of short videos to watch, just knowing that you thought of him, carefully selecting each clip to bring a smile to his face. he replays them over and over, allowing himself to feel closer to you, as if each clip is a tiny piece of you that he can hold onto.
long-distance! satoru who dreams of your future together, when the distance will no longer separate you. he envisions the day when he can finally hold you close and never let go. he dreams of lazy mornings spent tangled in the sheets with you, of quiet evenings where you can simply be together without the constant ache of longing. these dreams are what keep him going, a promise of a future where he can finally be by your side, where this long-distance heartache will be nothing but a memory.
long-distance! satoru whose breath hitches when you surprise him when a naughty photo while he’s working.
“fucking hell woman…what are you doing to me?”
long-distance! satoru whose cock strains against his uniform as he sits at his desk, the tantalizing image of you searing itself into his mind, leaving him desperate to touch himself, to feel some semblance of the closeness he craves.
long-distance! satoru who grips his weeping cock as he strokes himself in the privacy of his room, his thoughts consumed by you. the distance between you fades away in his fantasies, replaced by the heat of your body, the taste of your skin, the sound of your voice in his ear.
“fuck princess… I miss you so fucking much,” he whimpers nearing his edge, body trembling as hot spurts of cum paint him pretty, your name falling from his lips as he coats himself with the evidence of his need, his need to fuck you senseless.
long-distance! satoru who lies there afterward, breathless and spent, staring at the ceiling as the reality of your absence settles back in. there’s a bittersweet ache, because he knows it’s not enough—it’ll never be enough until he has you back in his arms, for real.
long-distance! satoru who surprises you with an unexpected visit, appearing at your doorstep after months of being apart. his duty bag slides off his shoulder in the doorframe and his arms open wide, inviting you for the embrace you’ve been yearning for.
“miss me, princess?” his boyish grin is blurred from the happy tears in your eyes, and you immediately throw yourself into his welcoming arms.
long-distance! satoru who wraps around you tightly, lifting you off your feet as he spins you around, laughter filling the air. the warmth of his body against yours is almost overwhelming, and you cling to him, burying your face in the crook of his neck as you inhale the familiar scent of him.
long-distance! satoru who doesn’t even make it past the doorway before his lips find yours, all teeth and tongue as he kicks the door shut with his foot. his hands roam your body with a hunger that borders on feral.
“let me make up for lost time,” he groans against your lips, a promise and a plea as he presses you against the nearest wall, hips grinding against yours, and you feel just how hard, how desperate, he has been for you.
long-distance! satoru who finally, after months of longing and aching, finds himself buried deep inside you, your bodies moving in perfect sync as if no time has passed at all. the sound of your moans, the way you cling to him—it’s everything he’s been dreaming of, and more.
long-distance! satoru who pours everything he’s been holding back into this moment, into you. he groans your name, voice strained with the effort to hold on just a little longer, to make this last, because honestly, he could have cum moments after entering you—your cunt is just too fucking delicious.
long-distance! satoru who knows exactly how to bring you to your own edge, who’s learned your body, knows what makes you gasp, what makes you moan, what makes you arch against him in that delicious way that drives him to the brink.
“cum for me, princess” he commands. and when you do, when your body clenches around him, pulling him deeper, it’s his undoing.
long-distance! satoru who finally lets go with a shuddering gasp, his release crashing over him like a tidal wave.
“fuck, I love you,” he groans, hands gripping your hips as he buries his face in your neck, his needy moans muffled against your skin as he spills his seed inside you, body trembling with the explosive force of it.
long-distance! satoru, who holds you close afterward, your bodies tangled together as you come down from the high. he presses soft kisses to your temple, your shoulder, your lips, whispering sweet nothings as you both drift off to sleep, content in the knowledge that, at least for now, the distance is no more.
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greensagephase · 1 year
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Nonviolent Communication - Part One
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Pairing: Spider-Man!Miguel O'Hara x Spider-Woman!Reader Summary: You don't show up to a meeting or report for other duties as a Spider Society member because of your period. Your boss shows up to your apartment. Word Count: 5,144 Warning: A little bit of angst?; Mention of death; menstruation, cramps A/N: There's multiple pieces of fan art for this fic. If you'd like to check it out, you can find everything linked in my masterlist! Masterlist Music Inspo (Spotify playlist for the fanfic here) "Nonviolent Communication" - Metro Boomin, James Blake, A$AP Rocky, 21 Savage Next Part
Part One
You were recruited four months ago into the Spider Society. Ever since the beginning, you couldn’t help but gravitate towards the leader and founder of the society. You learned quickly about his past and the way he carried himself these days.
Miguel O’Hara worked day and night. If he wasn’t in his lab working on something, he was out on missions with a select few members or on his own. There were days that you wouldn’t even see him. You wondered if anyone did on those days. You told yourself to mind your business. It’s not like you were friends and you hardly interacted anyway. You were a member of the Spider Society but one of the newest ones. You weren’t part of the most trusted members for Miguel.
And yet… There was something. You felt a need to look after him. You couldn’t understand it. You wanted to chalk it up to interest. Maybe you found his story interesting. How a man had simply replaced a version of himself in another universe to be a father, only to lose her when that universe collapsed. How heartbroken and guilt-filled he was over it. That had to be it, you told yourself. It was just intrigue. 
You figured that if you just gave in to your interest, it would go away eventually. It would fade away… So, you allowed yourself to be interested. You showed up to meetings earlier than anyone else when Miguel scheduled them. You stopped by the cafeteria to pick up coffee cups beforehand and arrived at the meeting earlier. You came in, looking unbothered and uninterested as you placed the cup of coffee in front of him, greeting him.
“The cafeteria staff gave me another cup, and I didn’t know what to do with it,” you’d say as he looked up with an uninterested look on his face.
You’d walk away and take a seat a few chairs away, picking up the nicely done reports he provided at every meeting. You did this every week with a different excuse each time. You didn’t know if he ever wondered why the cafeteria staff gave you so much coffee since that was usually your excuse. You doubted he even cared; you were just another member.
The first few times, you noticed the cup would sit in the same exact spot you’d leave it. Miguel wouldn’t even acknowledge it after looking up at you. You still brought it each week. After some weeks, he wouldn’t even look up when you placed the cup in front of him on the desk but – he started giving you a small grunt of acknowledgement. You’d walk away with a little grin, quickly putting it away when you sat down on your usual seat so he wouldn’t notice it.
Then about two weeks later, you saw it. As he was going over the reports and listening to Ben Reilly ramble on about his past because of some anomaly he caught that week, he picked up the coffee cup and took a sip. You looked away as you felt his gaze about to turn to you. The reports looked very interesting indeed.
All throughout this, you also started showing up to his lab after he and Jessica requested to see you about a mission. You noticed there was quite a mess of gadgets lying around. You offered to organize it, as it is something you enjoy and are good at. You didn’t even know why you offered but Jessica seemed eager about the idea while Miguel frowned.
“Oh, come on, Miguel. Some organization around here wouldn’t hurt, you know? Look at this mess,” Jessica said looking around, pointing at different areas cluttered with all sorts of tech pieces.
“Fine,” Miguel said as he walked away, apparently done with the conversation.
Jessica beamed at you. She seemed to like you a lot since you did your job well and didn’t get into any drama. You were like the perfect pupil. You nodded at her, with a warm smile.
So that’s how you ended up showing up once a week to Miguel’s lab to do some organizing. You show up and organize as he works on something. Sometimes he is up in the air on his platform, going through monitors. You simply greet him as you arrive before you begin organizing and cleaning. Sometimes there is no response, other times there is just a “hmm”.
These visits have led to Lyla taking a liking to you. She often asks you questions as you work while Miguel is there. You don’t know if he pays attention to what Lyla and you talk about. You honestly doubt he even listens. He is always so engrossed in what he is doing.
Lyla definitely makes the time pass faster. It isn’t like you wanted it to but the silence in the lab is… off sometimes. Lyla asks you all sorts of things like whether you have plans for that weekend, if you enjoy a certain activity because other spider members enjoy it, if you like a certain food, or how missions have gone, etc. It is always something different. You respond to her questions as you work. You are fast and efficient.
You never miss a week, and you are never late as you have made it a habit to show up at the same time. Except this week that is. You started your period and this month is kicking your butt with excruciating cramps and lower back pain. You barely make it to your home after patrolling your city, sliding into bed in pain.
You dig through your nightstand, looking for the specific medicine you take to take care of this even if it makes you extremely drowsy and dizzy. You take it and lie down, hoping it will help right away as you groan in pain. You lie in bed, clutching your stomach. The medicine definitely makes you drowsy and dizzy, but it doesn’t seem to help much with the pain. You pass out a few times but wake up again, the pain too much.
You’re so out of it that you don’t notice the time. You don’t remember the day. You don’t notice the sun out behind your closed blinds. You don’t hear a multidimensional portal open in your small apartment living room. You don’t register the heavy footsteps that move through your apartment. Your eyes are closed, hands clutching your stomach, soft groans escaping your lips. You don’t see the large shadow moving through your room until the last second.
“Go away,” you say weakly, thinking someone has broken into your home.
Despite your pain, despite feeling drowsy and dizzy, your mind still has the time to find this funny. The one day you feel like absolute crap is the day someone decides to break into your apartment. And you’re Spider-Woman! How ironic, you think. Let them take whatever they want, you think, as long as they don’t hurt you.
However, you are surprised when you feel a warm and heavy hand pressed to your forehead.
“No fever,” the voice says stating it as a fact.
You continue to clutch your stomach, eyes closed. Unbeknownst to you as you lay in bed in and out of it, a man is in your apartment. His height towers over you in bed.
Miguel O’Hara is in your apartment… Checking on you. He stares down at you as you lay in bed. He sees you clutching your stomach and as he observes carefully, he sees no injury. There is no sight of blood either. His eyebrows furrow in confusion. You are clearly in pain but why? He turns to your nightstand, noticing the bottle of pills. He inspects it. Painkillers…
His eyebrows furrow further as he realizes what it could be. He walks to your bathroom to confirm. His suspicion is confirmed when he takes a look at your garbage can, spotting the plastic wraps of feminine products. His suspicion is further confirmed when he sees a pack of feminine products on the counter, ready for easy access.
“Coño,” he says quietly as he realizes his suspicion is true.
He walks out of your bathroom, looking at your shape in the bed. You are still clutching your stomach and soft groans escape from your lips ever so often. Miguel remembers the days he used to take care of his wife before everything collapsed. It was a long time since he had even thought about doing that for a woman, but his mind started remembering everything he did to ease his wife’s pain each month. He stood there, thinking before he walked out of your bedroom and into the one room that was the kitchen, the living room, and dining room all at once… New York apartments, Miguel thought, as he took in your apartment.
You were organized and clean, but that didn’t surprise Miguel. You did organize the lab each week with such ease despite Lyla peppering you with questions the entire time. Your apartment was warm with its colors. It gave the impression of someone happy and warm. Miguel noticed a bookshelf in the part of the apartment that plays the living room. It is filled with so many books that you have some stacked horizontally over the vertical ones. An avid reader, Miguel thinks before he heads to your kitchen.
It is clean for the most part except for a plate and a cup. Miguel searches through your kitchen, looking for something specific. He returns to your room, looking through your drawers looking for something else. A few minutes later, he returns to your bedroom. You lay still. Seems that you have passed out at last. With ease, Miguel slides some homemade socks with warm rice under your sweatshirt. He places one on your stomach and the other one on your back.
A satisfied hum escapes your lips, letting Miguel know his idea was somewhat successful despite it being homemade. He gives you one more look before heading out to your living room.
He doesn’t even know why he came. All he knows is that you didn’t show up to organize the lab like you did each week. You didn’t show up to the morning meeting either. Jessica hadn’t heard from you in hours and there was no activity from your gizmo.
A few hours later, you wake up from your slumber. You yawn and stretch your body gently. You lay in bed for a few seconds, realizing your pain is gone. Now you just feel the exhaustion that comes from having a period. You sit up in bed slowly, feeling something on your stomach. You look down. Your sweatshirt is tucked into your shorts on both sides. You untuck it and two socks filled with something slide out. You furrow your eyebrows as you lift them up to inspect closer. You bring them to your nose.
“Rice…” you say, recognizing the specific scent of rice. Your eyebrows furrow but you shrug. You don’t even remember getting up to make these, but you thank yourself for doing it despite being out of it. You get up from bed slowly and check the time. It’s already evening. You decide to take a shower to ease your muscles.
Your shower is hot. You fill the bathroom with fog, but it doesn’t matter. It makes you feel like a million bucks when you get into fresh clothes, all shower and fresh. You head out of your bedroom to get something to drink and that’s when you see it. The lamps in the living room are on, there is music playing from your record player. You look confused as you step out further.
“Mierda,” you hear an annoyed male voice, causing you to jump a little.
You turn to the voice, located in the kitchen and find…
“Miguel?” you say slowly but with confusion as you find him with his back to you.
He stands in front of one of your kitchen cabinets, holding it open. There’s a screwdriver in his hand. He turns around at your voice.
“Y/N… You’re awake,” he says turning fully around now.
You take him in. He’s in his suit as always. You’ve wondered many times if he ever just dresses in casual clothes since he’s always in his suit. He stands tall, of course, and you can’t help but think how he makes your already small kitchen look ten times smaller than it is with him standing there. You rub your eyes, making sure this isn’t just some hallucination.
“Um- you are here,” you say looking at him again.
Miguel nods, turning back around to the cabinet. You watch as he uses the screwdriver. You remember then. Your loose cabinet that has been a pain in the butt for months now. You look around the place. There were some dishes in your sink, or at least you remember there being some but now they’re gone. You notice the trash was taken out. Clean dishes were put away. And to your surprise, there’s food on the stove. There’s also a sweet scent lingering in the air that you cannot pinpoint right now.  
“You feel better?” Miguel asks, with his back still to you as he finishes fixing the cabinet.
“Yes. A lot better, actually…” you say as you cross your arms across your chest, finding this situation so strange.
Miguel turns around to face you now. He looks at you before looking down at the screwdriver in his hand. The screwdriver looks like a toy in his hand, you notice.
“Yeah, well…” Miguel starts, looking up at you again. “Jessica was worried about you. She said you didn’t report to the meeting we had this morning. She asked if you had gone to my lab to organize it and when I told her no, she grew worried something had happened to you since she also noticed no activity from your gizmo. She wanted to come herself and check on you, but the baby kept her busy today. She asked me to come in and check for her.”
I nod, realizing that makes perfect sense. Jessica has grown fond of you after all, you just never realized she was that fond of you.
“Well, thank you for checking in on me for her. I’ll be sure to thank her tomorrow,” you say looking around the kitchen again.
“You probably shouldn’t do that,” Miguel says, putting the screwdriver down on the counter. It looks normal sized again. You raised an eyebrow. “She doesn’t like it when people thank for her… caring. If you want to thank her, just get her a coffee and tell her you appreciate her mentorship,” Miguel explains, resting his hands on his hips.
You nod slowly, maybe it was better to just thank her for everything instead of just this act. You sigh.
“I guess you’re right,” you say, scratching your neck softly. “Did she also tell you to fix my cabinet, or did that just bother you so much?”
Miguel’s face remains void of any expression. You wanted to ask about the homemade socks with rice since it became apparent to you that you weren’t responsible for them, but you kept your mouth shut.
“I was looking for – rice when I noticed your loose cabinet and other messed up things around here. You have a shitty landlord or something?” he asks, looking around.
You shrug. “Yeah, but the rent is good.”
“You’re not exactly strapped for cash, are you?”
You shake your head. It was true. You had some money. You could afford to move somewhere else where the landlords were better but…
“Why are you still here then?” Miguel asks.
His question is laced with interest, and you can’t help but think about how this is the longest conversation you’ve had with him since… meeting each other. And even then, that conversation was probably about three minutes long. You avert your gaze from him, looking at the wall nearest to you. Your eyes land on a single picture amongst many.
You lost your Peter three years ago, just like many of your spider colleagues. Losing him has been the hardest thing you have ever experienced. You have been punched till the air was knocked out of you, you have laid in ruble with buildings crushed over you, and you have been on the verge of death many times, but nothing has ever nor will ever compare to the pain and grief of losing Peter.
As you look at the picture of Peter and you, the one you took the first day you moved into this apartment, you think about all the memories in this apartment. It was all the two of you could afford back then but you two loved it. It was your place. It was the first time you were living together, and it didn’t matter much that it was a little rundown. You guys just wanted a place to live together. You two made it what it is now. A warm and happy place where you two could come home after a long day of work. You spent hours thinking of how to decorate it. Choosing the right and most affordable couch, choosing the wallpaper, choosing where the furniture went.
In the end, it had turned into a beautiful apartment. It was a haven for the two of you but what mattered the most was that you shared it with him, your Peter. You sigh, feeling overwhelmed by the loss again. You had moved on, of course. You had to. How else would you live otherwise? And you had promised Peter you would. Your mind is overwhelmed by the sudden memories as he laid in your arms. He had been crushed by ruble during an attack by a villain, his body was weak, his eyes glistened as they looked at you. You remember caressing his face and hair. He loved it when you did that. He always said it was the perfect way to soothe his nerves. The perfect way to get him to relax and nap after a stressful day.
Your own eyes were filled with tears as you saw it. The way his life was slowly leaving his body. What hurt a million times more, if it was even possible to hurt that much, was that you knew he knew. He knew that was it. There was no turning back. There was no miracle. There was no secret medicine or miracle serum that could make him get up and walk away from this unscathed. That was it.
You held him in your arms, rubble all around you. He looked at your eyes, his own hazy, as you caressed his face and hair. He gave you a gentle smile as he reassured you, he was okay.
“You will move on, right, baby?” he asked you, his voice indicating how little time there was left. “You have to… You must promise me you will. This city depends on you.”
You nodded your head and unable to hold them back any longer, your tears spilled down your face. You remember how some of your tears had landed on his pale yet still beautiful face.
“You must promise me, out loud, darling. Please,” he said, struggling more to get his words out.
“I promise. I promise I will try my best…” you said, and he had nodded. He looked satisfied with your response.
“You must continue – you are my hero. You always have been. And you are the love of my life, darling… I only wish we had more time. That I had more time to make you happier… To make you, my wife. Please – promise me you will be open to other loves,” he had gasped out.
You shook your head. That was impossible. How could you fall for someone else when Peter was the love of your life? Peter, noticing your reluctance, lifted his hand weakly to your face. Despite everything, he was still trying to comfort you. You felt something in you break further. He wiped your tears and gave you a weak yet comforting smile.
“Please promise me you will allow yourself to love again… If there is someone out there that makes you feel like that, please promise me you won’t shut them out. Please, love, promise me,” he said, looking at your eyes and cleaning your tears away.
His voice was weaker, and you noticed his chest was beginning to rise slower and slower. The time was running out…
“I promise I will. I will open my heart if someone comes along but I promise I will never stop loving you, Peter,” you had answered, trying to make him happy in his last minutes. He smiled at you, sweetly, and thanked you. You held him close to you, breathing in his scent. You tried to hold on to his warmth desperately. You clung to him, like you could defend him from Death herself. Like you could defy her this one time.
You cried your soul out as his heartbeat ceased to beat. You cried out as his body became limped in your arms. You cried as his chest stopped moving. You cried, cried, and cried as you held him close to you like your tears and grip could bring him back.
You cursed Death.
You often worried about hurting Peter if something happened to you. You never counted on Peter being the one who left too soon.
You inhale shakily. Your vision has become blurred with tears as you continue to stare at the picture on the wall. You turn around, remembering that Miguel is there. You wipe your tears discreetly. You swallow the lump in your throat, trying to force it down. Otherwise, the moment you speak, your tears will flow. You clear your throat.
“It doesn’t really bother me – and besides, I spend a lot of time out,” you finally say, sounding somewhat normal now. Though the ache is there, deep in your chest. It’s like someone stabbed you in the heart with a wooden stick and left a small piece of it stuck. It always hurts, it always aches.
Miguel doesn’t reply as you turn back around, feeling more in control of yourself. However, you can see something in his eyes. Perhaps understanding? You guessed he probably knew to some extent what had happened to you. It was a canon event for all spider-people. To lose someone.
“Have you eaten anything?” Miguel asks suddenly, dropping the apartment conversation probably for your own sake.
You shake your head. It was hours since you had eaten something. Since yesterday, really.
“There’s some food here. Let me…” he says trailing off, turning around to get a plate from a cabinet. You can’t help but feel a little surprised at how fast he learned his way around the kitchen. Then again, it’s not that large you realize. You approach the kitchen island and take a seat on one of the two island chairs as Miguel turns around with a plate of pasta. Your eyebrows raise in surprise. It is one of your comfort foods. Miguel slides it over to you, gently. A fork is already on it, ready for you.
You slide the plate closer, the scent of it making your stomach growl instantly. You’re definitely hungry.
“Thank you,” you say before you dig in. You can’t help but smile with satisfaction. It is amazing. “This is really good.”
Miguel doesn’t say anything, just watches you. You eat some more, feeling a bit self-conscious as you feel his gaze on you, but you ignore it. Or try to.
“So, are you a really great cook or is pasta one of the few things you can cook?” you ask, slowing down on your eating, trying to fill in the silence.
Miguel shrugs. “My mother taught me how to cook when I was a teenager. It stuck.”
You nod, still eating. “Great skill to have, really… It helped me and –“ you pause, realizing you were about to mention Peter. You swallow. “It helped Peter and I when we were in college,” you finish, looking down at your plate.
A hint of a smile forms on your face as you remember Peter and you cooking for the week over the weekends. You guys lived separately but shared groceries to help each other out. It saved you guys a lot of time and money and brought the two of you closer.
“It is a great skill to have,” Miguel agrees quietly as you continue to eat, looking down at your plate.
You nod silently as you finish eating. You look up at Miguel, he’s looking down at the counter. His hands are flat against the counter, and he looks lost in his own thoughts. You can’t help but take this time to look at him. The sight of him in your kitchen is really something. You think about how great he is at these things like looking after a woman when they’re on their period or cooking. You want to facepalm yourself as you realize it’s obvious he would be good at these things. He did have a wife and daughter at one point, you remind yourself. You look down at your plate.
“Oh, I made this for you, too,” Miguel says at last, breaking the silence.
You look up curiously, wondering what else he had made. He turns around towards the stove and you watch carefully as he retrieves a mug from one of the cabinets. Again, you feel surprised seeing how he knows exactly where to find what he’s looking for. It disappears from your view in front of him and you hear him pour something. He turns around again, holding one of your mugs. Whatever it is, is hot as you can see steam from the top. He sets the mug down on the counter and slides it over to you. Again, his movements are gentle. You lean forward and reach for it.
“Careful. It’s hot,” he warns, as you pull the mug towards you gently.
The scent fills your nostrils quickly and you recognize the sweet scent that met you earlier when you exited your bedroom. You look up at him.
“Canelita,” you say, grinning.
Miguel nods. “Growing up, my mom said it helped with cramps. It used to help my…” he trails off.
You nod. “Yeah, my grandma used to say that, too.” You pause as you inhale the sweetness of cinnamon. “Thank you…” you reply, with sincerity, still meeting his eyes.
Miguel only nods. You drink the warm liquid, enjoying the warmth that spreads down your throat, chest, and finally your stomach. As it settles in your stomach, you feel warm and cozy.
Miguel clears his throat then and looks down at his gizmo. “Well – I should get going. I have some things to catch up on,” he says turning his attention back to you.
You nod as you place the mug on the counter gently and get up. He walks out of the kitchen portion and heads to the middle of the room. He starts clicking on his gizmo, presumably starting a multidimensional portal. You walk towards him, leaving some distance, of course. He looks up at you as the portal appears in the middle of your apartment behind him.
You clear your throat. “Hey – I just wanted to say thank you… For everything. I know Jessica asked you to check up on me, but you did much more than that. I truly appreciate it,” you say, hoping that you’re fully expressing how grateful you are.
You can’t help but think about how you’d probably still be in bed right now. Miguel nods.
“It’s no problem…” Miguel replies, though he looks like he wants to say more. You watch, waiting but he just stares back with little emotion until he nods at you and turns around. He starts walking into the portal. The bright lights coming from the portal create shadows in your apartment. You watch wordlessly until he looks behind his shoulder. “Don’t forget – don’t mention it to Jessica. She can be weird about being thanked sometimes.”
You nod. “I won’t bring it up, no worries. Thank you again. Enjoy your night!” you call out and he just nods before he disappears into the portal. The portal disappears a few seconds after him, taking away its shadows with it.
You sigh as you stand there for a few more seconds before taking a seat again on the counter island. You drink more canelita, still cherishing the warm feeling. You look at the stove. Everything is in containers and there’s no sight of dirty pans, pots, or utensils.
“Cooked and washed the dishes…” you say to yourself before taking a sip again.
Your attention turns to the cabinet you found him fixing earlier. You get up and walk towards it. You open it with no issue. You think about all the little nicks this kitchen has. Like the drawer that doesn’t come out fully or the other cabinet door that makes a noise every time you open it. Curiosity gets the best of you because before you know it, you are pulling said drawer. Your lips part in surprise as the drawer fully slides out without issues. You check the other cabinet door. No sound.
You sigh as you look around, your eyes landing on the containers. One of them is full of leftover pasta and the other one contains the canelita. Your thoughts are interrupted as you hear your gizmo go off. You turn in the direction it came from, trying to remember where you left it last night. You are usually very careful with it but last night you barely made it through the door.
You find the gizmo on the console table in the living room section of your apartment. You realize there are a few messages from your colleagues like Hobie, Miles, Ben, and Jessica. You quickly reply to the first three who asked about your whereabouts before you move to Jessica’s. You realize she sent multiple messages all ranging from asking how your last mission went to why you weren’t answering to asking if you were okay. The last one makes you stop. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you read it.
“Okay… You haven’t replied to any of my messages. Do I need to send someone to check on you? You’ve been MIA all day. Let me know you’re okay!!”
You look up towards where the portal was opened just minutes ago. You shake your head and reply to Jessica, notifying her about what happened. You leave out Miguel though. You put away your gizmo in its usual spot and look around your apartment, thinking. The lamps in the living room section are still on, the record player has stopped playing, however.
“Hm.”
--------------------------------------------- Translation for italicized words: Coño - fuck (it varies by country) Mierda - Shit Canelita - a tea made out of cinnamon sticks
Next Part
A/N: Might do part two. If it matters, I listened to "Nonviolent Communication" from the ATSV album as inspiration. Such a lovely song for Miguel, I think.
I love Miguel O'Hara. That's all.
3K notes · View notes
roosterforme · 2 months
Text
Aim for the Sky Part 12 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: You and Bradley embark on the babymoon of your dreams where a warm beach and hot sauce await. When you not only indulge his current fantasy but allow him to take it to the next level, he's more excited than ever for the future.
Warnings: Fluff, smut, lactation kink, cockwarming, slight exhibitionism
Length: 4800 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.
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"I wish you could fly us there in your Super Hornet. We would save so much time."
Bradley kissed the top of your head as you wrapped your hands around his bicep and snuggled against him. "Sweetheart, I got us first class tickets for a reason," he murmured. "I'm getting sick of sitting in an uncomfortable cockpit seat every day."
"I thought you bought first class seats because you love me and Rosie and wanted us to be comfortable."
You were looking up at him with your chin propped on his arm and a smirk on your face. "Well, yeah. That, too," he promised, and you laughed. "But I'm getting old, and the seats are uncomfortable."
"You're not old, Roo," you told him with an eye roll. "You're just right."
Bradley relaxed back in his aisle seat as you stretched up to kiss the gray hairs that were starting to show along his temple. He was tired, but he knew you were as well. It had been a long week at work for both of you, and now the commercial airplane was starting to pull away from the gate. In approximately five hours, it would touch down in Loreto, Mexico for five days in the sun.
A bit of a January cold snap had taken over San Diego, and everyone at work seemed a little jealous about the babymoon location. But truthfully, Bradley had really only chosen it with you in mind. The luxury resort was right on a beautiful beach, and there was a chef who taught cooking classes every day. Bradley could already picture you happily sunbathing before attending the hot sauce demonstration. He was just along for the ride, happy to go anywhere that you and Rosie wanted to.
You kissed his ear and whispered, "As soon as we get to the hotel, I need you."
Bradley groaned in response and then laughed. "I literally just fucked you three hours ago."
"That was three hours ago."
"How do you make it through a day at work right now? Please explain that to me."
"Very carefully," you told him.
Your hormones were all over the place, and Bradley had taken to checking your blood pressure before and after any sort of sexual activities. He knew he was probably going overboard, but you had mild preeclampsia, and he was feeling more protective of you than ever before in spite of your protests that you and the baby were fine.
"I'll make a deal with you," he murmured as the plane took off. "How about you order a meal from the flight attendant while I take a nap, and then when we're alone, we can do whatever you want."
Your eyes lit up, and Bradley was already half asleep a few minutes later when he heard you ordering a wrap and a fruit bowl.
---------------------------
The resemblance of the hotel in Loreto to the Four Seasons in Waikiki was uncanny, and you were trying to keep your cool while Bradley chatted with the woman at the concierge desk. You were having honeymoon flashbacks, and it was making you dangerously horny as you laced your fingers with his and gave him a little tug.
"Roo," you whispered, pressing your nose to his bicep and inhaling deeply. You knew that he knew what you needed, but he just kept on laughing at everything the other woman said. Now he was asking her questions. Another few minutes of this, and you were going to lose it. 
You were about to tell him that social hour was over, but she started laughing at something. As soon as he mentioned that you were pregnant, she looked at you instead of Bradley and started making a fuss over your belly. Next thing you knew, you got a free room upgrade. 
"Why do you think I talk to everyone like I do?" Bradley asked, pulling you into his arms when you were finally alone with him in your hotel room which overlooked the beach and had a private plunge pool. "You never know when they might decide to give you an upgraded room."
Now he was the one following you around, trying to undress you, while you checked out the stunning accommodations in awe. "Good job, Daddy," you muttered. "You got us a private pool. And we can sit out on the patio and watch the sun rise tomorrow. Oh! And we can order room service for breakfast!"
You were about to step outside and see how warm the pool was when Bradley grabbed you from behind by your hips. "Get back in here. You can't just whine for my cock for an entire flight and then act like a brat in the lobby and expect me not to be hard as a rock by the time we get to the room."
It was impossible to contain your smile as his hands found their way up inside your shirt. And that's when you felt just how hard he was. "I wanted to check out the pool," you whined, knowing you'd get an even bigger reaction out of him.
"And you will," he promised, turning you around and pulling your shirt over your head. "Just as soon as I fuck you and check your blood pressure."
"Bradley, did you seriously bring the blood pressure cuff with us?" you asked as he unhooked your bra.
"Yeah," he grunted. "Of course I did. I promised Dr. Morris we'd keep a close eye on it." Then he swiped his thumb along your nipple, and your entire body reacted to him as he stared longingly at your chest and said, "Good god, your tits are exquisite."
"My bras don't really fit anymore," you whispered as he dropped yours to the floor.
He moaned your name. "I did happen to notice that." Your breasts were in his big hands, and he gave you a hard squeeze, making your head tipped back. Your nipples felt a little sore, but his calloused fingers gave you an undeniably delightful sensation when he touched you. "Jesus, Baby Girl. They are fucking huge. And so warm." Your husband had been fixating on your chest throughout your entire pregnancy, but right now, his pupils were wide, and his voice was impossibly raspy as he gently pinched you. 
"Roo," you gasped, unable to process the pleasure with a bit of pain except to grab him closer. "Do it again."
"Fuck." He guided you so you were sitting on the edge of the bed, and you watched him unbutton his shirt. He tossed it aside and pulled his undershirt off as well, and you placed a kiss to his abs before unzipping his jeans. Once he was undressed, you tried to suck his cock, but all you were able to do was get one good lick in before he took a step away from you.
"Please?" you whined, but he was shaking his head.
"I'll come in two minutes if you start doing that," he rasped. "And I want to spend some quality time with your tits first."
"Oh," you said with a smile, smashing your breasts gently together. "Like this? A titty fuck?"
You watched him touch himself as his eyes were glued to what you were doing with your hands, but he shook his head again. "No," he whispered, licking his lips. "I want my mouth on you."
As you leaned back on the bed and started to pull your leggings and underwear down, you watched his cheeks grow a deeper shade of pink as your breasts bounced. "Roo," you whispered. "You can put your mouth anywhere you want." But his gaze never wavered as he palmed his cock and climbed into bed with you. Neither suitcase was unpacked. You hadn't even finished exploring the room. But your husband was pulling your nipple between his lips, and you knew you were in this for the long haul.
He released you with a pop as you dragged your fingers through his hair, and he murmured, "You're fucking perfect." Then he kissed your round belly and said, "And so are you." Then he tossed all of the throw pillows to the floor and sat with his back against the headboard and patted his thigh. "Come here?"
You crawled up the bed to get to him, and he groaned as he watched you, his cock jumping with excitement. He wanted full access to your boobs; you knew that much. But you desperately needed to feel him. When you straddled his waist, his hands were on your chest, but when you eased yourself down around his length, his eyes went wide. "Let me just keep you warm while you take your time," you told him with a smile.
The sensation of feeling so completely full was incredible, and Bradley kissed along your tender breasts as he let his hands rest on your bump. "God damn it," he panted. "Your nipples are fucking delicious." He lapped at the underside of one breast before trailing his nose along one furled peak and then the other. When you moaned and clenched around him, his hands crept back to your hips, pulling you down harder until you gasped. But his mouth stayed on your chest.
He was obsessed. It was like he couldn't help himself. And he seemed to be getting worse, which you actually kind of loved, if you were being honest. Your weird, pregnant body seemed to just make him hornier, but especially your breasts. As he nipped hungrily at your chest, you decided to test a theory that had formed in your mind. "If you love them this much now, what are you going to do when I'm actually lactating?"
Bradley met your gaze, cheeks flushed and eyes wide. "Fuck," he whimpered. His Adam's apple bobbled as he swallowed hard, and he thrust slowly up into you.
You kissed his forehead and whispered, "You've been going wild for months, Roo."
Your husband looked embarrassed as he nodded and pressed his nose to the valley between your breasts. His mustache prickled your skin as he said, "I don't know why. I just can't get enough. They feel... warmer. And you smell insanely good. And I just can't stop thinking about how you look and taste right now."
You took his face in your hands as you wiggled your hips, and you were rewarded with the needy sound of his grunting. "You're blushing so much, Bradley. But you don't need to be embarrassed. I don't think I'll ever get over how much you like my body this way."
"It's perfect. You're always perfect. I love you."
You nodded and kissed his forehead again as he ran his fingers along both of your nipples. "I love you, too. But I want an answer, so I'm going to ask you one more time... If you love them this much now, what are you going to do when I'm actually lactating? Leaking breast milk and feeding the baby?"
Your husband's brown eyes looked like melted chocolate as he took a few deep breaths. His brow was furrowed, and his voice was deep and needy as he asked, "What will you let me do?"
Your eyes went wide as you gasped, and you ran your thumb across the scars on his pink cheek while he squeezed at your tits, his expression timid and skittish. You weren't used to seeing him like this, and you knew you were completely in control here. You were turned on beyond reason as you took a deep breath and asked, "Would you like it if I let you taste me when I'm lactating?"
He didn't hesitate, voice low as he said, "Fuck. Yes."
You tipped your head back for a beat while he kissed your nipples. "And would you like to rub your cock all over them while they leak, Roo? Titty fuck me until I'm an absolute mess?"
He growled your name, and then in an instant, you were on your back in the middle of the massive bed. He was fucking you hard, your breasts bouncing as he watched them before burying his face against your neck. His hips were relentless, pounding into you as he muttered, "I want to taste what you'll feed to the baby."
"Oh, god!" you moaned, voice quivering from how hard he was fucking you.
"I want to lick you everywhere, but especially all over your gorgeous tits, Sweetheart. I keep thinking about how you'll taste when you have milk, and it's driving me crazy."
"Bradley," you whined, tugging on his hair as his mouth found your breasts. "I'll let you do anything you want."
He withdrew his cock and knelt above you, one hand gently caressing your belly as he jerked off onto your breasts and your necklace charms. His cheeks were still pink, but he was looking at you with needy certainty now. There was nothing to worry about. You knew what he wanted, and he seemed pleased that he didn't have to put the words together himself.
He leaned down and kissed your lips, running one finger through his cum and then feeding it to you. "If you'll let me, then I'll do it all."
----------------------------
Bradley thought perhaps he should be embarrassed. He knew his thoughts were a little depraved as of late. Your breasts were his achilles heel at the moment, and he already knew he wouldn't be able to contain himself once you actually started leaking breast milk. He liked to imagine it. Liked to think about sucking on your swollen tits. He even enjoyed the mental image of running the tip of his cock along your leaking nipples before asking you to give him head.
But you just indulged him in his fantasies. You got him to admit what he wanted, and you told him he could have it all. Then you licked up some of his cum as he fed it to you before pulling him into the shower and holding a completely normal conversation with him while you lovingly washed his hair. Alright. So you were definitely more than okay with how badly he wanted to lick up after your breasts as soon as they started leaking.
"I'm so in love with you," he interjected as both of you toweled off. You just smiled and kissed him before flouncing back into the bedroom with your hand on your belly. Then he took your blood pressure, making sure it was completely normal, while you looked at the room service dinner menu.
"Bradley!" you almost screamed, and he dropped the blood pressure cuff on his foot. "They serve twenty different kinds of hot sauce!"
"Why do you think I brought you to this specific resort?" he asked, picking up the cuff and putting it away safely while you read off all of the different kinds of hot peppers in the sauce varieties. "I signed you up for a private hot sauce making lesson with one of the chefs tomorrow."
"You did?" you gushed, looking up at him like he just told you he bought you a hot pepper farm of your own. "That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."
"I thought you and Rosie would have a good time trying some specialty samples and making one of your own," he said with a shrug before running his hand along your belly.
"Well, you're officially the best husband ever." You handed him the menu and said, "Rosie and I are starving. I want the tacos, the taquitos, and the catch of the day, but I'm too embarrassed to call it in myself."
"Got it. Why don't you go relax on the patio, and I'll meet you out there?"
He watched you though the open French doors, admiring the perfect curve of your cheek and your round belly in the fading sunlight as he ordered an absurd amount of food along with two virgin margaritas. He asked them to send a few of the hot sauces for you to try, and then when he ended the call, he went rushing outside to be with you.
Just as you finally got cozy on his lap, the plethora of food arrived, and Bradley groaned as he stood to let them bring it in. As soon as you had the taco platter in front of you, your eyes lit up, and you started trying all of the sauces. Once he took a sip of both margaritas and confirmed there was no tequila involved, he handed one to you and took a seat at the patio table.
You laughed and asked, "What do you want me to do with this?"
"There's no alcohol. I got two in case you want both." He bit into his own meal which tasted even better than he anticipated, and the sound of the Gulf of California just beyond the short stretch of beach left him feeling very relaxed. "Or maybe the Nugget wants her own."
You took a sip and grinned. "Well, you've thought of everything. What else do you have planned for this long weekend?"
"You'll find out," he promised. 
That first night, you fell asleep curled up at his side with a full belly and your hand resting on his chest. He'd left the Nugget notebook at home, and truthfully he didn't have much on his mind other than the fact that anything involving your tits was apparently fair game for him, so he decided to just talk to his daughter quietly instead of jotting anything down.
"Hey, Rose the Nugget," he whispered, feeling her thump as soon as he let his hand rest on the side of your bump. "It's Daddy." He smiled as she squirmed a bit, and honestly he didn't know how you were ever able to get any sleep when she was like this. "I love you. I can't wait to meet you in about eight weeks. Don't give your mom too hard a time, okay? No blood pressure spikes or anything like that. You just take it easy in there while I take care of her out here."
-----------------------------
"Let's start with one habanero and see how you like the spice level before we add too much."
You nodded at Chef Santiago and did your best to mimic him cutting up the hot pepper. You were in the kitchen wearing latex gloves, a hair net and an apron over the adorable dress you bought. If you had known what Bradley had planned, you'd have packed something other than a pile of cute outfits and lingerie for the babymoon.
Not that your husband was complaining. His cock was in you just moments after you woke this morning. And when you got dressed earlier, he made a comment about how good your breasts looked and threatened to take you back to bed. If you didn't have plans with a hot sauce professional for the afternoon, you'd have let him.
"That looks perfect," Chef Santiago told you, and you moved on to the next step, trying to memorize everything you were learning. There were so many tiny nuances that would apparently raise or lower the spice level of a hot sauce, and you never knew it. 
You could already imagine turning your own kitchen at home into a workshop while you make a signature hot sauce for Christmas presents at the end of the year. Bradley would be holding Rose to let her watch, telling her about how hot the peppers were and then probably singing a Red Hot Chili Peppers song to make her giggle. You'd be in your apron, dancing around to their nonsense.
"Now we're ready to blend." You looked up at Chef Santiago as he pulled you from your beautiful daydream. He was plugging in a blender, and you nodded in agreement. 
"Yes. Time to blend it."
When you were finished, you left the kitchen with two bottles of the most delicious hot sauce you could imagine. Even the orange-red color was pretty, and you went right out to the beach instead of back to the hotel room. Bradley had supposedly gone kayaking while you were creating your masterpiece, but when you found him on a lounge chair between the pool and the sand, he was laying on his stomach, sound asleep and snoring.
"Roo," you whispered, running your fingers along his glistening, sweaty bicep. His mustache twitched, but that was it. "Bradley," you said a little louder, tracing a scar on his cheek. Even when you poked his neck and raked your fingers through his hair, he just kept snoring. "Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw."
With a groan, he cracked his eyes open against the afternoon sunlight. "Are you talking to me or yourself?" he asked, carefully rolling onto his back.
"You!" He liked to tease that you both had the same name at work, even though your last name was hyphenated. "You're going to get sunburned."
"Nah, I sprayed myself before kayaking," he insisted, reaching for your belly. "Did my girls have fun?"
"Absolutely," you replied, shaking your hot sauces as he pulled you down onto the chair next to him. "How was kayaking?"
He flexed as he lounged back on the chair. "It was a decent upper body workout. You gonna let me try the hot sauce?"
Now you were distracted. "Do that again," you whispered with a smile, and this time when he flexed, he tightened up his abs too. "Let's go back to the room for a quickie and some more sunblock, and I'll let you taste my hot sauce."
"That sounds like a euphemism," he murmured, but he was already standing up. "I'm in."
When you got back to the room, he wasn't quick at all. He was languid and methodical, skin warm from baking in the sun. His hair smelled like sweat and salt water, and his voice was deep as he made so many promises to you.
"I can't wait for Rose to get here. I love her so much already. I'm gonna take care of both of you forever."
True to form, his mouth was all over your chest, and he made sure you came before he indulged himself in some deep thrusts, filling you up as he called out your name against your neck. Two minutes after he cleaned you up, you already wanted more, but he looked tired, and he definitely got more sun than he thought he did.
"Come here," you coaxed, leading him out to the patio where you took a few minutes to coat him up with sunblock, kissing him each time you had to squeeze some more out of the tube.
"Thanks, Baby Girl," he murmured.
"This is purely selfish," you told him, licking his ear before putting a dab of sunblock there. "If you get a bad burn, you'll be out of commission, and you know how horny I am right now."
When you started to walk away, he reached for the hem of your dress and grabbed your thigh. You met his gaze once again, and the needy look there made you swallow hard. "Why don't you put on your red bikini from our honeymoon? We can go down to the water for a bit."
You knew he really wanted to see you wearing it with a big belly, but you felt a bit self conscious. The thing was skimpy enough before you were pregnant. But when he started stroking your tattoo through your dress, you whispered, "Let me get changed."
----------------------------
Bradley had his arm casually slung over your shoulders as the two of you walked along the beach in the early evening sun. It was a little less crowded now, and you were chattering away and wearing his aviators as you dropped your tote bag off at two empty chairs. Everyone was looking at you and your bump. You were some sort of combination of adorable and sexy at the moment, but he especially appreciated that you were wearing his sunglasses. 
Just when he was ready to settle down and potentially take a nap with you this time, you shook your head and started leading him down to the water. He was exhausted from the sex and sun, but you were wearing your tiny honeymoon bikini, and he could see your rooster tattoo below your belly.
"This was your idea," you told him, playfully tugging on his arm while your tits bounced slightly. "You're the one who wanted to go in the water."
Bradley grunted softly and pretended that you were capable of pulling him where you wanted him to go. "I thought it was your idea," he teased, and you shot him a bland look over his aviators
"Come on, Daddy," you coaxed as your feet hit the water. You were grinning nonstop as you added, "If you're good, I'll show you my boobs when we get out there."
Bradley made sure his footing was solid, and you squealed when he picked you up and carried you into the water. "Roo! You're a maniac!"
The salty water splashed up around your body as you laughed, and soon Bradley was in waist-deep water with you clinging to the front of him. "You act like you don't know exactly what's going to get me going right now," he said, nipping at your lips. "Now show me the goods."
You kissed him hard and then whispered, "You have to work for it."
You wiggled free, and he chased you around in the water for a few minutes while you splashed him. Every time you glanced back over your shoulder to see where he was, your smile grew. Slowly he closed the distance, reaching for you under the water. When his hands found your hips, you let him pull you back until you were pressed against him. He could feel your quickening pulse when he kissed along your neck, and it matched his. Bradley spun you slowly in his arms so you were facing him, and he toyed with the ties on both sides of your bikini bottoms as your belly pushed against him.
With bright eyes, you looked up at him and bit your lip. Water droplets fell from his sunglasses where they were perched on the end of your nose and splashed against your tits. You glanced to your left and right, but there was nobody else in the water near the two of you. Saliva pooled on Bradley's tongue as his gaze followed your fingers to your bikini top, and you slowly pulled at the red triangles until he was staring longingly at your pert nipples as the salty water dripped onto your chest.
"That's more like it," he grunted, running his thumb along your wet skin and leaning down to kiss you there before you covered yourself up again. You always got his heart pumping harder, but right now, everything felt perfect. Your blood pressure seemed to be under control, and the baby was healthy. He was tired, but you were clearly having a great time.
The sky was growing darker now as the sun had set, and the purple and pink swirls mixed with blue giving everything a dreamy feel. You held onto him in the water, your head coming to rest against his shoulder so your lips brushed along his collarbone when you spoke.
"I love it here."
"In Loreto?" he asked, kissing your forehead. "We can always come back again when Rosie is older. The two of you can take a hot sauce class together."
You made a soft sound and said, "Yeah, I like it in Loreto, but I was talking about being snuggled up in your arms."
He felt soft inside as he whispered, "I love you." Then he closed his eyes, memorizing the feel of your pregnant body against his and the sound of your even breathing. 
Just when he didn't think the moment could possibly get any better, somehow it did. You kissed his chest and said, "I was thinking about middle names and trying to decide what sounds good with Rose." You paused and tipped your head back, so he opened his eyes, and you asked, "What about Carole?"
Rose Carole Bradshaw. The words swirled around in his mind, and he knew that was without a doubt his daughter's name. She would always get to carry a piece of the grandmother she would never get to meet. The grandmother who would have loved her beyond measure. 
It was hard to breathe as a happiness he'd never felt before filled his chest. All he could do was nod and whisper, "That's absolutely perfect."
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Kink: unlocked. I can't wait to see Bradley in action after Rosie arrives. Just a few more chapters without the little Nugget! Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 13
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girlgenius1111 · 3 months
Text
one of your girls part 3
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part 1 part 2 alexia x jenni x leila x reader. jenni takes her turn. smut 18+. part of the rush verse @vixwritesagain ... for context: Read Part One here Read Part Two here Read Part Three here Read Part Four here Read Part Five here Read Part Six here Read Part Seven here Read Part Eight here
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Though her lips were kind on your shoulder blade, her victorious smile was anything but. Alexia spoke lowly, a quiet thing only aimed at you. “Since you like your girlfriend’s cock so much more, you can come on hers later.”
Another five seconds of listening to your whimpers, then Alexia stood up. She was quick to let go of your wrists and pull out entirely.
Twitching, you pressed your hands to the cold surface and found a little room to breathe through the sensation. 
Meanwhile, the room was quiet but for the buzz of the A/C. 
Jenni could tell how pleased Alexia was with herself when the midfielder turned around to face her. Rising from where she was comfortably reclined on the bed, the striker couldn’t help but smile. 
“Your turn.” Alexia grinned back, moving to take her girlfriend’s spot on the bed. Jenni grabbed the blonde’s hand before she could pass, running a finger over a scratch mark on Alexia’s abdomen that you didn’t remember leaving. Jenni’s eyes found Ale’s, and the younger woman couldn’t help the way she preened a bit under the proud gaze of her girlfriend. 
“Lo hiciste muy bien, amor.” Jenni murmured, taking a moment to gently grab a displaced strand of Alexia’s hair and tuck it behind her ear. The gesture was dripping with affection, but Alexia focused only on the smile on Jenni’s face; the smile that signified the brunette was very happy with her girlfriend at the moment. 
“I am not done.” Alexia whispered, the words just loud enough for you to hear. “Go fast. I want it to be my turn again.” 
Jenni threw her head back and laughed, the sound echoing through the otherwise quiet room. It felt like only a second later that the forward was resting a hand on your back, delighting in the small whimper you let out. 
“Jenni.” You groaned, allowing the older woman to pull you up and over, so that you were sitting on the desk facing her. 
“Hi.” She smiled, brushing some hair away from your face. 
“Your girlfriend is insane.” 
Jenni chuckled, stepping in between your legs and easing you closer to the edge of the desk. “And that is my fault?” 
“You know it is.” 
“Mm. I am not crazy, cari.” She argued, hands trailing up and down your sides in a soothing manner. 
“No?” 
Her lips caught your eye, so close to your own. As if reading your mind, her tongue ran across them, leaving a faint sheen behind. “No. Promise.” 
It was simultaneous, both of you moving in towards each other until your lips met. It was unusually soft, and while Jenni told herself it was just because you needed her to take it slow, the truth made itself known in the way you each melted into the other. Jenni’s arms around your back, your own linked behind her neck, you both pressing into each other until it was skin on skin. So close to each other that the momentarily forgotten strap brushed against your core. You whimpered, a pathetic sound that was just barely muffled by Jenni’s mouth on yours. 
“Sorry.” She mumbled against your lips. Her eyes cracked open to check on you, but you were already leaning forward again. You ignored the apology, chasing her lithe body as it pulled back and wrapping your legs around her midsection. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, and you gently unwound the hair tie until it gave way. The dark strands tumbled down around her shoulder, your fingers promptly weaving into them. 
The two of you kissed for a while, long past what was probably expected from the other two in the room. You didn’t feel like pulling away. Not when Jenni’s soft skin felt so comforting against yours. Not when it had been so long since you’d had her like this. It wasn’t the passion that had been missing from your encounters, it was the tranquillity that couldn’t exist when there was more than just the two of you. 
When you did break away, you didn’t go far. You kept your forehead pressed to hers. “Jen, I-” 
“I know.” She assured you. It wasn’t necessary to hear you say the words; she’d known a millisecond before you’d broken the kiss what you were going to ask for. One of her hands moved from where it cradled your back to slip in between the two of you, finding the strap that was pressed in between both of your bodies. “Do you need-?”
“Just need you.” You gasped, tucking your head into the crook of her neck as she nudged the tip against you. Jenni took care to shift your hips, angling herself in just right. 
“Dios mió,” She groaned, pushing in gradually until she was buried inside. The soft cry that tumbled from your lips was unlike any other sound you’d made so far. It was needy, and you were acutely aware of that fact as you bit down on the firm muscle of Jenni’s shoulder. 
Her hand stroked up your back to cradle your head against her. She let you breathe, pressing her lips to your temple softly. When you eventually pulled back, it was impossible not to get lost in her stare. “Lista?” 
“Yes.” You murmured back, leaning in to capture her lips once again. 
The first roll of her hips had you moaning into her mouth. You could feel the smile she tried to fight, but you couldn’t be irritated when her hands started to wander. Jenni began at the small of your back, tracing gentle patterns with her fingertips. She ran down your sides, stroking at your thighs where they curved around your hips but never dipping inside. 
She worked slowly, rocking into you with a fluidity which made it easy to get lost in the rhythm of her kisses and forget about how well she filled you. Everywhere she touched tingled. 
“Oh my god, Jen.” You breathed, reaching down to hold her waist. Underneath your fingers, you could feel the gentle shift of her muscle giving pass after pass. 
You ducked your head, pressing your lips to her neck, then her shoulder. It took a few seconds to find the spot which made her sigh, a little up from her collarbone, a little down from the sharp jut of her jaw. You licked first to be sure, then mouthed when her fingertips flexed on your thigh. 
She was quick to get you back, licking filthily into your mouth and chasing your kisses with her own until you whined. Only when you gasped at the pleasured shivers she sent up your spine did she pull back. Still, she was so close. Her hair tickled at your chest as she leaned into you. 
It was so quiet when you closed your eyes, just Jenni’s gentle grunts and the slick slide of her skin against yours. Your hands wandered, trailing along bare skin until you held her tenderly. The rock of her hips inside was steady enough for your own to tilt. With every pass, Jenni brushed against your clit. 
With nothing else to focus on, she filled every sense. The taste of her, how her hair smelled fresh from her shower, touching all the tiny marks on her skin you’d memorised so well you could trace them with your eyes closed. 
Her tongue dragged over your neck. You could feel her when you stretched back and let her have you however she wanted. Most satisfying, you relaxed into the sound of the muffled moans she’d breathe out intermittently. 
Jenni just knew where to touch and what to do. You could feel yourself smiling between her kisses, running on nothing but instinct and feeling. Chasing every roll of her hips with a touch of your own, coaxing her to feel as good as she did you. 
The tension she built caught you by surprise. It wasn’t a focus until she moaned herself and changed the pattern. Just a fraction harder, but still as fluid. 
“Fuck.” You breathed, loathe to break the tranquillity with anything too loud. 
Jenni nodded into your neck before one of her hands cradled your cheek. Her forehead pressed gently to yours. 
Your whole body shivered, making you cling to her. “I’m so…” You tried, but the feeling of her made it hard to think. 
The striker hummed before she leaned in to let your lips brush. 
You managed half a second before your own parted in a low moan. Jenni stayed close, shifting her hips just a little deeper now. Her own groan was caught in your mouth. 
Brain blank of anything but her, it went on and on. Over and over. Wet and panting, breathing in each other’s air until you weren’t sure if the high would ever end. 
All it took was a sharp snap. “Don’t let her come.”
Jenni jolted immediately at her girlfriend’s call. A moment of silence, then she was still. She had the decency to pull you close, letting you burrow your head in her neck while you whined needily. 
For a long time, the feeling of her cock inside and her skin pressed to your clit kept you right there. A few little rocks would have done it, but your limbs clung to her so tightly that moving even one of them would have been a challenge. You tried to focus on the whir of the A/C and the occasional shift of bedsheets over her shoulder to calm yourself, but the sounds just kept coming. There was arousal, yes, but also a hint of embarrassment at losing yourself so completely. 
Jenni tried to move first, shifting her torso with every intention of pulling out and creating space. 
At the first movement, you clamped your limbs around her, whining as she shifted inside.
Soothing hands were slow to stroke at your skin. When Jenni spoke, it was the quietest you’d ever heard her. A husky, mumbled thing just for you. “Be good. I want to see you come tonight.” 
-----
one more to go!! this part and the next part are tied for being my favorites so do with that what you will :)
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revasserium · 7 months
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hiii can i pls request zayne with prompt 60 “home”? also love ur writing btw and i look forward to reading more of ur works <333
send me one + a character and i'll write u a drabble
60. home
zayne; 2,264 words; fluff, fem!reader, no "y/n", whipped!zayne, implied sex, fade to black, zayne being a simp as per usual
summary: a friday afternoon
a/n: idk i just love writing dialogue for zayne he's so !!!!
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The Hospital - Friday, 4:36PM
Linoleum floors and fluorescent lights; the smell of antiseptic, the rhythmic beeps and hums of heart rate monitors and nebulizer machines. He spends too much time here, knows the flow of the hospital like he knows the web of arteries and capillaries in the human body, the wards branching off of each other, the hustle and bustles of nurses and staff familiar, oppressive.
It is only in the quiet of his own office, with its big windows and even bigger piles of paperwork (be it virtual or physical), that he ever allows himself to relax. He glances at the vase of brightly colored tulips on his desk and allows himself a grin. He remembers the shape of you, can feel the weight of your hand in his as you’d tugged him around the farmer’s market on Sunday morning, pointing at the various vendors, asking to try a bite of this and a bit of that, until finally, you’d come across the flower seller — a middle-aged woman with a sweet smile and a gleeful glint in her eyes as she explained about the language of flowers.
“There’s sunshine in your smile,” you’d repeated, looking down at the yellow tulips before grinning up at Zayne.
“Perfect for you, isn’t it?”
He could hear the tease in your voice, see that familiar playful twinkle in your eyes and he’d raised an eyebrow before wordlessly handing over a few bills from his wallet.
And now the flowers sit, quiet save for all their brilliance, on his desk, in a simple vase filled with crystal-clear water. He stares at it for a second longer before pulling out his phone and swiping it open to your contact.
Coming home early today, he texts. Immediately, a typing bubble appears, and a second later, a short shoomp sound as your reply appears on his screen —
oh? dr. zayne leaving work early??? is the sun setting in the east today?
He chuckles to himself before dialing your line and a second later, your voice answers, a little hesitant.
“Hello?”
“If you’re going to be sarcastic, at least do it in person.”
Shuffling noises, and then — “Not my fault you’re never around for me to be mean to you in person.”
Zayne leans back in his chair with a sigh, “Hn. How’s shopping with Tara?”
“Fun! But my legs are getting tired…”
“I can meet you at the main shopping center around 5:30.”
A moment of quiet, and then “Ah… but that’s still an hour from now…”
Zayne scoffs, “I could stay till 7PM like I usually do —”
“No, no! That’s… that’s not what I meant — I’ll see you at 5:30, then? Don’t be late!”
You end the call before he can protest and for a second, Zayne stares at the screen, the picture of your smiling face fading after another few seconds as the phone screen darkens.
“Doctor? Your next patient is here,” the nurse calls through his closed door.
“Yes, I’ll be right there.” Zayne glances once more at the yellow tulips on his desk before pushing himself up and adjusting his white coat. He’ll have to make a note to change the water soon.
City Center Shopping Mall - Friday, 5:38PM
“You made it!”
Zayne turns at the sound of your voice to find you slightly breathless as you jog up to him, coming to a stop a few steps away.
“You sound surprised.”
A blush dusts your cheeks as you avert your eyes, “I — I’m not! I just thought… you might be a bit later than this.”
Zayne keeps his expression neutral even as he reaches out to take your hand, casually lacing his fingers between yours. He feels you give him a small squeeze and contents himself with letting you take the lead as the pair of you start to wander through the mall, glancing at the window displays.
“Oh… that smells good!” you both pause as the smell of scallions and garlic warms the air. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, “I think it’s coming from that restaurant over there! Tara was telling me that it just opened a week ago and it’s already going viral online for their stuffed pancakes —”
“C’mon then.” Zayne starts off for the restaurant.
“W-wait! We don’t have a reservation! We’ll never get in!”
Zayne keeps walking, gently tugging you behind him till you both round the corner to see a truly impressive line outside the restaurant doors. He walks passed the massive line straight to the front where a smiling girl in a flowery apron stands at an electronic podium, taking down the names of the next party in line.
“Is Liam here?”
“O-oh! Uhm, I think so!” the girl blinks, surprised as she looks down at her reservation list, “May I ask who’s asking?”
“Zayne.”
The girl nods as she slips into the restaurant. Beside him, you look up, confused.
“Do you know someone here?”
Zayne nods but doesn’t explain any further as the smiling girl comes back and motions for you both to follow her.
“Right this way Dr. Zayne! Enjoy your meal!”
Zayne gives your hand a small tug as you stumble after him, the confusion on your face blossoming into something like surprise as the pair of you duck into the bustling restaurant to be greeted by an enthusiastic young man, around Zayne’s age, his sleeves rolled up, a bandana tied around his forehead.
“Zayne! You should’ve told me you were coming!”
“It was a last-minute decision,” Zayne supplies, shaking Liam’s hand firmly, pulling you into his side even as Liam’s eyes slide onto you.
“Oh… is this the girl you were always talking about back in —”
“I think we’ll take a booth in the back, thanks,” Zayne cuts him off with a loud cough, already making for the back of the restaurant. Liam laughs good-naturedly, leading you both to a booth tucked in the very corner, away from most of the noise and bustle.
You inch into the booth, casting Zayne a curious look.
“Is that the owner? How do you know him?”
Zayne doesn’t look up as he glances over the menu before pushing it towards you.
“We went to medical school together. Pick anything you want, it’s all very good.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, “And he decided to become a chef instead?”
Zayne’s lips twitch, “Is that so unbelievable?”
You shrug, looking down at the menu at last, pursing your lips, “No… it’s just… did he drop out of med school then?”
Zayne shakes his head, “No, he was one of the best in our year.”
“Oh. Then…?”
Zayne taps the menu, “I thought you were hungry.”
You blush, looking down, “I am!”
It’s not till the middle of the meal that Zayne speaks again —
“He said it didn’t make him happy.”
You look up, your cheeks bulging with food. Zayne watches you swallow with a concerted effort, reaching out to wipe at your lips with an indulgent smile even as you swat at his hand.
“Liam? About… being a doctor?”
“Yes. And… in a way, I understood him. He said that the kitchen’s always felt more like home.”
You purse your lips, looking at your half-eaten stuffed pancake.
“Then… does the hospital feel like home? To you?”
Zayne chuckles, leaning forward to add some more veggies to your bowl with his chopsticks.
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Then…” you trail off, waiting for his answer. There’s a familiar color seeping into your cheeks as Zayne looks you over before his eyes flicker down to your bowl.
“Eat. Or else the veggies will go cold.”
Zayne’s Apartment - Friday, 7:01PM
“I’m so full!” you slump down onto his couch with a long sigh, patting your stomach.
“You were the one who wanted seconds of dessert,” Zayne says, hanging up his coat and turning to join you on the couch. You make a small noise as he lifts your legs and lays them across his lap, his thumbs absently digging into the backs of your calves.
“Ow…” you make to jerk your leg away as he hits a knot but he only grips your ankle and pulls it back with a soft tut.
“Hold still.”
You bury your face in one of the couch cushions as he continues to silently knead at your calf muscles.
“There, better?” his voice is soft now, tugging on the frayed ends of your subconscious as you turn your head to blink at him, a bit dazed.
“Yeah… lots better. Thanks.”
You make to get up but he loops an arm around your back and lifts you easily from the couch, bridal style.
“Zayne?”
“You’re staying the night, right?” he asks, even as he makes for the bedroom.
“I — I am?”
He glances down at your face as he sets you down on his bed.
“I can still drive you home if you want —” He makes to pull away.
“No! I — I can stay. I mean — I want to stay.” You reach up to tug at his shirt, fingers crumpling the material as he stills. You can feel your cheeks blazing as his gaze flickers over your face before settling on your lips.
“Alright then.”
There’s a breath’s pause before you give his shirt another tentative tug and he tips forward with the motion, leaning in to brush his lips against yours.
A soft groan bubbles out of you as Zayne presses you back and back and back, until he’s caged over you, trailing hot lips down the line of your neck, skimming his teeth along your collarbones.
“Mm — Z-Zayne…?”
He pulls back, his eyes a bit unfocused as he looks you over — you can feel the weight of his gaze as it flutters over the planes and ridges of your face, from the arch of your brows to the line of your nose. You can’t help blushing beneath this intense scrutiny, and you tug once more at his shirt, your fingers somehow having inched up to his collar, one of your fingers hooked into the top loop of his buttons.
He reaches up to cover your hand with his, fingers easily curling around your smaller hand.
“What is it?”
You lick your lips, stomach twisting, the base rumble of his voice sending shivers shaking through your body.
“Nothing just… I don’t remember you drinking at dinner so…”
He leans down to press a soft kiss to the back of your hand before dropping it back to his shirt collar.
“No, but… alcohol’s not the only thing that might cause someone to lose hold of their senses…”
You watch as his eyes darken at your intake of breath, the way his grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly.
“Then…” you swallow, eyes fluttering shut as you feel his lips trail back up your neck to your jaw.
“Are you going to make me say it?”
You let out a tiny whimper as he presses a leg up between yours, his breath now hot against the lobe of your ear.
“Say… what?”
Zayne pulls back just far enough to cock an eyebrow at you. And like this, you’ve never seen anything so alluring — the sight of him with his shirt tugged open, his eyes blown dark with desire, his hair slightly mussed from your eager fingers, his lips kissed pink, his cheeks warm with color.
“Hn. Is this my punishment then?”
“For what?”
“For being late to meet you.”
You fight back a grin, “Well… you did say I could be mean to you in person.”
Zayne lets out a sigh, “Alright then.”
You walk your fingers up his chest before pushing him back till you’re both sitting up again. He waits patiently for you to push him down and straddle his hips, slowly tugging open the buttons of his shirt, loosening his tie till it hangs undone around his neck. You lean in to press a soft kiss to his chest and revel in the way he hisses.
His fingers reach up for your hips and you catch them with a quick shake of your head.
“No touching… not till I say.”
Zayne stares at you for a second before relaxing and letting his hands fall back onto the sheets.
And it’s not until you lean down to kiss at his exposed abdomen that he groans, head tipping back. Then, a second later, you find yourself pinned beneath him, breathless, Zayne towering over you with parted lips, the moon casting stark shadows along the lines of his face.
“I said you could be mean… I didn’t say I wouldn’t retaliate.”
After, when the pair of you are curled into each other like pieces of jigsaw puzzle that’s finally found its missing parts, his breath warm along the nape of your neck, Zayne finds himself smiling.
“It’s always been you…” he murmurs, though he’s nearly certain you’re already asleep, your breathing sweet and level, your body pliant and perfect against his.
He laces his hands between yours and drops a soft kiss onto the skin of your bare shoulder.
“It doesn’t matter what I do… or where I do it… because my home has always been… you.”
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latenightdaydreams · 4 months
Text
Family Planning (fem)
MDNI🔞
Master List✍🏽
Part 2
>cw: fem/afab, pregnancy, cucking, p in v, religion, priest König
2.1k word count
.
.
You’ve been married to your husband, Lucas, for four years now. Both of you are high school sweethearts. You never thought you’d have to seek counseling for the relationship. You nervously twiddle your thumbs as you sit outside your priest’s office, sitting next to your husband. Finally, the door opens and König’s eyes land on the two of you.
“Please, come in.” He stands at the door, waiting for you both to enter before he closes the door behind him. Once he sits down, he leans forward with a polite smile across his thin lips. “Mr. and Mrs. Altman. What brings you to me?”
There is a heavy tension in the room as you gaze over to Lucas. He sits with a finger pressing against his temple as he rests his arm on the armrest. It’s clear that he doesn’t want to be here, he doesn’t want to talk about this.
“Well, it’s…we’ve been having some issues lately.” You speak carefully, trying to not offend your husband. 
“What issues?” König gives a concerned look to your husband.
“Well, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for the last four years and nothing. I went to the doctor, and everything was fine with me…” You stop talking and drop your head down, knowing the topic upsets your husband.
“So, that means it’s you that can’t get her pregnant?” His eyes lock with your husbands.
“Yes…”
“And that makes you feel…” König was trying to get him to admit his feelings.
“Worthless.” Lucas says in a low voice. “As if I’m not a man.” You rest your hand on your husband's legs and rub it in a supporting way. 
“We’ve always wanted a family. Since we met as teens, we’ve planned on having kids. The issue is not only his sperm, but to have a child, it would be through unnatural means.”
König watches the shape of your mouth as you speak. He nods his head occasionally to make sure you know he is listening to you.           Once you finish explaining your moral stance against IVF, he finally speaks.
“It seems almost cruel that God would give such a strong, devoted couple as yourselves such a heavy cross to bear.” His blue eyes gaze into yours as he speaks. “I also agree, IVF is unnatural and goes against God's word. The Lord sees how you’ve both struggled, yet never even up on one another.”
Tears creep up in your eyes as Father validates every feeling you’ve had along your way so far. Instead of judgment, he is listening with care. 
“But have you considered… other options?”
“Like adoption?” Lucas asks.
“Hm, no. Just a simple sperm donation.” König leans back in his desk chair, his fingertips touching as he studies both of your reactions.
“But having seed spilled by a contraption…it isn’t of God.” Lucas speaks softly. He knows you’d have the beautiful family you have always dreamed of if it weren’t for him. Guilt floods his body.
“Not with any medical intervention.”
“Then…how?”
“I can offer you my seed, to impregnate you.” König says boldly.
“Excuse me?” There is a bit of anger in Lucas’s tone.
“Please do not misunderstand me. I am a man of God. I’ve given up all pleasures in life. I’m simply the vessel put here by the Lord to give you the family you both desire. Like God impregnated Mary, but Joseph raised Jesus as his own.”
You sit staring at Father König with your mouth slightly ajar. Like God did with Mary and Joseph… Those words you kept repeating in your head, and the more it started to make sense.
“But that’s adultery.” Lucas snapped.
“God let men impregnate another woman in the bible when their woman was barren. I don’t see the difference here. No romance, just God’s gift.” He smiles at the both of you, impressed with how gullible you both seem to be. 
“He has a point, honey.” Your hand continues to caress Lucas’s leg.
He looks into your eyes for a while, a heavy gaze of guilt on his own. Is he really about to allow his Priest to sleep with his wife? That would be crazy, right? It would result in a pregnancy, and you’ll be able to start the family you’ve always wanted. Both he and Father König are blonde blue eyed me, so it wouldn’t be too hard to hide.
“I- can we think about this?” You can hear the buildup of emotions in his voice.
“Of course, take all the time you need.” König suppresses a small smirk. 
Everyone stands and you go home with Lucas. The night you both stay all talking, arguing, crying, laughing; just every emotion hitting at once. This is a conversation you never saw yourselves having. All you’ve ever wanted is to be a mother, and now God has given you an answer.
.
.
You arrive outside of Father König’s home, fingers intertwined with Lucas’s. He hesitates before his knocks on the door finally. A few seconds later, König opens it, greeting you both with a warm smile. He is wearing his black pants and shirt with a Priest collar on.
“Bitte kommen Sie herein.” König steps aside to let you and Lucas come inside. 
The home is simple with crosses and imagery of Jesus and the Virgin Mary hanging on the walls. You both linger awkwardly, thumbs caressing one another’s hand. König closes and locks the door.
“Shall we.” He gestures for the both of you to follow him down a long hall. 
Turning into the last door on the left, he welcomes you in. There is a large king size bed with gray sheets and a blue comforter. A simple wooden cross with a bloody Jesus on the wall behind the bed. Your eyes linger on it for a while before turning your gaze towards Lucas. He is looking at the bed with a dejected look in his eyes. A heavy tension lingers in the air. 
“Y/n, you should undress.” König’s Austrian accent is smooth.
You nod and kick your shoes off before pulling off your sweater. Lucas took it for you, his eyes looking over your body as you slowly peeled away each layer. Both trying to avoid Father's gaze and only focus on each other. Once stripped of all your clothing, Lucas slips his hand back into yours. “You’ll be okay…” He whispers to you, pressing his lips to your forehead.
König takes your hand from your husbands, his icy blue eyes gazing down into yours. He walks to the bed, lifting you and gently laying you in the center of the bed. 
“Lucas, sit at the head of the bed. It’s important that you’re a part of this too.”
Lucas slowly kicks his shoes off and walks to the bed, pulling the pillows aside and sitting. His hands caress your hair, trying to ignore Father touching you. Ignoring how his hands ran up your legs, caressing the supple flesh of your thighs.
You tried hard to ignore Father's touch, but your body was responding positively. He climbs on top of you, his weight sinking you into the bed. Timid warm kisses trailing up your abdomen to your breasts. 
“Is all of this…necessary?” Lucas's voice cracks.
“Ja,” he continues to kiss over your breasts, lightly sucking on your perky nipples. “Her body needs to be relaxed to accept my seed.”
Lucas huffs, rolling his eyes. König ignores him, moving his lips to kiss up your neck, slowly making his way to your lips. He lightly bit your bottom lip before pressing his lips fully against yours. His knee sliding between your legs, rubbing it against your clit. You whimper slightly as his tongue circles yours.
“You like that, Liebling?” He licks your lips before kissing you passionately. 
Lucas stares at a wall as this is going on. He can feel his cock become slightly erect, but he tries to ignore it. He doesn’t want to get aroused watching a man take his wife. He’s her one and only- at least that’s how it was always supposed to be.
“Let’s see how wet you are for Father…” König says as he leans back. On his black pant leg there is a white wet streak. He smirks and looks at you. “Perfekt.”
Your eyes gaze up at Lucas, a bit of shame in your gaze for becoming so aroused. König grabs your hips and scoots you closer to him. Your legs spread open in front of him as he undoes his pants. He pulls his enormous cock out, his hand grasping it at the base.
Lucas' eyes go wide, looking at König’s penis. A wave of jealousy, insecurity, and shame rushes over him. How would you feel about him after you’ve been with Father? Can he compare? Will he ever be able to please you again? He is quickly snapped out of his thoughts as Father speaks.
“Are you ready, y/n?”
“Yes.” You said quickly, almost too quickly for Lucas’s liking.
“Look at me, Liebling.” König grabs your jaw and makes you look at him. His eyes watching you closely as he slips his cock into you. He watches the way your breathing shutters and your eyebrows pinch together. 
His hand moves from your jaw to your hips, grabbing your legs and spreading them wide apart. With each roll of his hips, you let out a pathetic little mewl. You’re trying your hardest to not give into the pleasure, you’re here to procreate, not have sex.
Lucas notices the way your face contorts with euphoria as König’s big cock fucks you. His cock rock hard in his own pants. He can’t help but to keep his eyes glued to your tiny little cunt struggling to accept König. The way your creamy cum covers his cock. You’re loving this and it kills him.
“Father…” The words slip your lips before you realize you’re moaning his name. Your eyes instantly shoot up to Lucas. An orgasm is building up but you try to fight it. Mouth hanging open, you let out a loud moan as König begins to buck into you faster.
“Cum for me.” König drops one leg and reaches out to squeeze your left breast. 
As you gaze at Lucas your body trembles under König, the sound of your wet cunt getting louder as you cum on his cock.
“That’s it, you’re doing so well.” König leans over and begins to kiss you passionately, stealing your attention back to him. “Your pussy gets so wet for Father.” His whispers kissing down your jaw. 
König pulls out, his large hands grasping your body and turning you over. You get on all fours, facing Lucas. He comes up behind you and slips his cock back into you without words. His hands squeeze the fat on your ass, spanking you to see the jiggle. Lucas glares at him, this is sex for pleasure for Father. His glare does not go unnoticed. 
“I’m close to giving you my seed Liebling…” König’s deep sensual voice now strained from the feelings of your tiny cunt sucking him in. “Lucas, please pray.”
“Pray?” He sounds shocked.
“For me to cum in your wife. For me to impregnate her.”
Your fingers are grabbing beat sheets as you look at Lucas. Babbling words as he thrust his cock even deeper into you. König grabs a fist full of your hair, holding your head up so Lucas has to see the way he is turning his wife into nothing but a stupid little sex doll.
“Please Lord, hear my prayers. Please let Father König’s seed be successful and fruitful.” Lucas looks at you with a slight bit of disgust. His sweet Catholic wife would never be enjoying fornication with another man this much. This was all a mistake.
“Say you want my cum!”
“Please, please cum in me! Please God! Please fill me!” Your voice is so enthusiastic, you’ve never acted like this for Lucas before.
“Ah, Ja!” König stops moving and pushes his cock deep into you. Your eyes roll back and Lucus turns his head to not see the finale play out.
König leans forward and kisses down your neck, biting you so hard he leaves a mark. He rests his body over yours, panting slightly.
.
.
Fully dressed you all stand by the door. You’re glowing. A huge smile on your face as you gaze at Father König with dreamy eyes. König reaches out and caresses your bottom lip with his thumb. Lucas stands there with a defeated look on his face, slightly dissociated in this moment as his mind tries to process what he witnessed.
“If this isn’t successful, my door is always open.” König grins at Lucas as he opens the door for you both.
Part 2
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igotanidea · 5 months
Text
Somebody's watching me : AK!Jason x reader
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Request: AK! jason hears y/n’s name from his opponent and just goes nuts like he goes home looking for her.
A/N : the requests is a little twisted, as usual, but I hope you'll still like it anon :D
***
It was gone.
His old life was gone.
And with it, everyone he knew before.
All that was left was revenge, hate, rage. And this unstoppable need for killing someone, destroy something, wreck havoc on every single person who did him any wrong.
Bruce.
Fucking Batman.
He was the Arkham Knight now.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Focused on building his position so that no one, no fucking one, would ever hold any power over him.
And if that meant keeping tabs on everyone under his watchful gaze so be it.
And if that meant putting some pressure on everyone who dared to do as much as step a toe over the line, so be it.
And disturbances?
Defnitely not something he was about to allow.
And now he was holding a gun to one of his goons head.
"What did you do?" he hissed, his voice distorted by the helmet
"Sir, I --"
"What did you do?" Jason repeated pressing the metal more into man's head.
"I-- I disobeyed--"
"You disobeyed. And do you know what happens to people who disobey me?"
"Sir, please this is--"
Jason shot in the air and the man almost fell to his feet.
"It was-"
"I'm not going to give a warning shot again"
"I was-"
"I'm gonna count to three now. One."
"There's this girl."
"Two."
"Her name is Y/N."
"thr-- what?"
"She is very distant family, but --"
"Shut up!" Jason yelled, his face twisted with rage, not that anyone could see his expression hidden under the metal. "Shut the fuck up you hear me!" it took him two steps to be in front of the man, yanking him up by the collar and pinning to the wall with brutal force, half-chocking him "you ever do as much as think her name again and I'll kill you and put your head on a stick as a warning to anyone who dare have a thought of himself. YOU HEAR ME!?"
"y-ye-yes..."
"now get the fuck out of here!" the man was violently thrown on the floor, getting up as fast as he could and rushing out the door. It was truly a miracle he lived to tell the tale, cause Arkham Knight was not known for his leniency.
But Y/N.
Someone from his past.
More than someone.
A girl, a woman, he was once in love with.
A woman, whose name he forgot in the pursuit after Batman.
Or rather - tried to forget.
She was the only one who ever got him. The only one to accept him fully, with all his flaws.
His Y/N.
His Y/N who betrayed him just like anyone else. Who forgot him. Who moved on without giving as much as a single thought to him when he was lost. Who was never looking for him.
His Y/N.
It;s been years since he heard anyone mention her. Years since he swore to never get manipulated again.
And then.
Just a few letters mixed together. Just a few sounds.
And she was right behind his eyes, just like he remembered her. Because even his dark side refused to let go of the rememberance of their time together.
Her laugh. Her smile. Her eyes and freckles from the sun, as fleeting as the summer days they were spending together. Her calmness, care and tenderness when she was patching up his woudns, tiredlessly putting on bandaids and stitches.
Fuck!
He didn't need that.
Just another phase of brainwashing. If not from his capturers than from his own men.
Hell no.
He was going to say no to the past life once and for all.
Hunting her down, wherever she may be.
See her for the last time.
Pour hatred in his heart, destroying all the remaining piece of useless softness and caring he carried in his soul.
Burn the last link connecting him to the past down.
***
She was spending the night in her old apartment. Sitting by the same desk, with the same lamp, in the same posture she ever did.
One leg half bent and folded under her ass, the other hanging loose in the air.
"You're going to end up with numbness..." he muttered to himself, watching her from the opposite rooftop.
Obviously she couldn;t hear him, but something made her raise her head and look outside the window while simultaniously changing the position.
Jason smiled despite himself.
His heart skipped a beat and sudden warmth spread in his chest.
Only for a second though, since he rememembered why he was here in the first place.
Look at her.
So fucking good.
So fucking calm and happy, while he-
fuck!
traitorous bitch.
Maybe it was her plan from the very beggining. Conspiring with Batman only to get rid of him, so they could both be free of the burdening presence of a man once known as Jason Todd.
Y/N...
Regardless of how sweet her name may have tasted on his tongue he would rather cut it off than fall down that rabit hole again.
He was cold as ice. Brutal. Cruel. Ruthless.
And it was not going to change because he saw her.
Not in the million years.
She was the reason of his fallout. She should have stopped him from going on that stupid mission. She should have made him stay, showed him she cared enough to keep him grounded.
It was all her fault that that after being captured all he could think about was how she was going to survive without him. How her heart would break into million pieces, instead of figuring out a way to free himself.
It was all her fault that he became the Arkham Knight. Cause inhumanity was equal with survival. And survival meant living. And living meant keeping his legacy.
So yes, he hated her.
He hated her, because every single thing he did and every little thing done to him was because and thanks to her.
She was the reason of him getting on top, but also the person responsible for his failure as a person.
She was nothing.
She was everything.
And for the first time since capturing, torturing and tranformation Jason felt conflicted.
Y/N...
His Y/N...
Not his anymore...
***
When some force made her stand up and come to window all she saw was a blink of metal on the rooftop. And since she spend half of her life with vigilantes, it was easy to realise that this must have been one of them.
But the silhouette of a running man couldn;t have been Dick nor Tim nor any other hero she would recognise.
And despite herself, she felt a shiver running down her spine.
Someone was watching her.
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kneelingshadowsalome · 7 months
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König is, obviously, a big little freak. Do you think he'd feel flattered/lovestruck if a cute girl stalked and was obsessed with him or would he be weirded out? I think the first: for once he gets pussy and love without having to do anything. Also it'd be kinda funny if he didn't even notice his little admirer at first cause she doesn't register as a threat and he's too busy being broody and depressed cause he's so alone (while reader is in her apartment fantasizing about their future kids and drawing little hearts on a pic of him)
Ohhh yes. König being oblivious af, thinks this is simply a joke.
It started out in school: cute little postcards that had bunnies or kittens or flowers or hearts on them, delivered to him by his mom who was smirking about how her boy had a secret admirer. There was nothing fancy scribbled on the other side, just soft, silly messages like: "I like you!" or "Your cute" or "Luv u ♡", and König saved them all.
…Until he showed the postcards to the wrong “friends”, who only made fun of them. One of the boys told him they sent those cards to him as a joke because no girl could ever want him, and König believed them. Allowed himself one, maybe two tears in solitude before he threw those cards away.
What was odd, though, was that the cards still kept coming. He always threw them in the trash, and at some point while growing up, they stopped arriving. No cats or hearts or cute mice illustrations for him anymore, just loads of video games and internet and a growing interest in war history and gym.
He didn’t think much of it after the age of 17, just went to the army to make a man out of himself. Got laid for the first time, got bullied some more, grew some muscle and grew some balls. Got kicked out of sniper training, his one and only dream, and went back home to brood for a few weeks.
That’s when he received the letter.
A 5 page love letter, written in beautiful, whimsical handwriting, smelling of something so angelic that it drove even the eternal stench of gunpowder and rust and military storage away.
König gets plunged into a whole world of soft feminine attention without even asking to, the letter now placed on his old desk that’s too small for him to sit at anymore. The fragrant sheets of paper are filled with confessions of adoration and love and… it would be a little bit creepy, were he a man who fancied so-called normal women.
He goes to the attic, searching his old cardboard boxes for the postcards to compare the handwriting, but can’t find none, remembering that yeah… he threw all of them away, didn’t he? The handwriting wouldn’t match anyway, that much he can remember, but then again it was a kid who wrote to him back then. Now, his admirer is a grown woman who apparently got back on her obsession train once he visited his childhood home after years of living abroad.
The hair on his shins, arms and at the back of his neck shoots up as he realizes some woman has a crush on him, some cute girl has been watching him since day one. Those postcards weren’t a joke, so she must have gone to the same school as him… She might be the daughter of some of their neighbors, living right next to him even now.
König goes door to door in search of her, but only wrinkly elders arrive to tell him that no, they never had a daughter or granddaughter or if they had, they have long since moved out to some big city.
He goes through the letter once again but finds no clues to who she is or where she lives. It’s just pages and pages of flattery about how he’s still the man of her dreams and so much more. How he’s even cuter now that he looks like someone pissed in his cereal. She wonders if he’s built the same everywhere, and if he is, then she should say her evening prayers… Too many impure thoughts going through her head already, why does he have to be so handsome?
König is in hell, as always, desperately trying to look for his admirer when he goes out to take the trash. Visions of some girl touching herself at the thoughts of him pester him from sunrise to sunset, and he has to take a cold shower every morning simply because one wank doesn’t seem to be enough to tame the big fellow downstairs.
He hugs his pillow and dreams of his girl, someone sweet to wrap his arms around and to protect. He fantasizes of someone cute waiting for him, someone he could surprise every time he gets home, someone adorable to eat out until they sob and squirm. Until he gets the stench of death out of his mouth…
A message arrives on his phone from an unknown number, and at first he thinks it’s spam.
But when he opens the message, he’s met with two perfect bare breasts. So fucking cute, especially when they’re accompanied by a set of fingertips grazing her soft skin; König even notices she has red nail polish on. So adorably, incredibly cute…
There comes a text that says: “I thought of sending you another postcard, big boy… But perhaps you don't care for kittens anymore. Hopefully this will do? ❤️”
There’s no face reveal, just tits and a cute female hand laid out there before him. Just a text that confirms that she’s the one. Typing a quick reply, he sends it to the unknown number: “This will more than just do 😳❤️❤️❤️”
Without thinking, like, at all, he pulls out his already hard cock and takes a hurried picture of it with a trembling hand. He usually knows better than to send a dick pic to a girl, especially after exchanging less than two sentences with them. But hey, she started this. The least he can do is give her something to pray about (and for)..
So he sends that horrid picture of his ugly cock to his cute mystery girl before she can even type a reply to the first message, and asks: “Are we praying tonight, my lady?”
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togrowoldinv · 1 year
Text
The Teacher
Milf!WandaNat x Female Reader
When Wanda’s boys need tutoring, you offer to help with the small stipulation that you do at her house. While at the home, you meet Natasha. What happens one day when Wanda forgets to cancel tutoring and you happen upon her and Nat in a compromising situation?
Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Kissing, cursing, oral (R, W, N receiving), strap on sex, dominant Natasha
Note: I could not stop thinking about these two. Enjoy!
WandaNat Masterlist, Main Masterlist
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You’re anxiously waiting in your classroom for the mother of two students to arrive for a conference. You hated to call her, knowing that she is very busy, but her sons have been falling behind in class. And you never want that to be prolonged by your own nerves.
So, you wait for Wanda Maximoff to arrive for your scheduled after-school meeting. The door opens with five minutes to spare. In walks in a woman with an air of confidence you haven’t quite seen before. Her blonde hair rests over the lapels of a red suit. She looks like a million bucks in every sense of the phrase.
“Hello, I’m Ms. Y/l/n, you must be Ms. Maximoff,” you greet her.
“That’s me,” she says. “Please call me Wanda.”
“Nice to meet you, Wanda,” you say. “Thank you for taking time out of your day to meet with me.”
You gesture for her to sit in the chair across from your desk. She does so and looks back to you with waiting eyes.
“I am concerned about Billy and Tommy falling behind in class,” you explain. “They’ve taken a dive the last few weeks in grades and participation.”
“Well, Billy has always been shy,” Wanda supplies. “And Tommy just can’t sit still.”
“Yes, that’s true. But they’ve been my best students all year until recently. I just wanted to be in touch with you to maybe find the cause and take steps to correct this misdirection,” you say.
You hate this part of your job. Every parent thinks their child hangs the moon. They don’t want to hear they’re struggling. You prepare yourself to face rejection, but Wanda just thinks for a moment.
“How can I get them back on track?” She asks.
“I can tutor them before and/or after school,” you say. “If their in-class participation improves that will also help with their grades.”
“Okay,” Wanda says. Her green eyes look you over. “I have a hard time getting them to school early because they ride a bus. And getting here right after school is very difficult.”
“Right,” you say. “I understand.”
“Maybe you could tutor them at my house?” Wanda asks.
“Oh, I’m not sure if that’s really allowed,” you say.
“Please?” Wanda asks. You don’t think you have the strength to say no to her soft expression. She is almost pouting. You feel an attraction to her in your gut. She leans forward. “I will pay you anything.”
“Oh, I definitely can’t take payment, Wanda,” you say. She pouts completely now. “But I can tutor them at your house.”
“Thank you!” Wanda practically cheers. “I appreciate it. Really.”
“Of course, Wanda. I can start as soon as possible.”
With that, Wanda leaves your classroom with the exchange of phone numbers and the shake of your hand. It’s probably a bad idea, but you keep the success of your students in mind as you push away any worries about the tutoring.
The next day you drive to Wanda’s house after school. The boys let you in on instruction from their mother to only let you inside and not strangers. You set up at the table and teach the boys some math. To your surprise, they don’t put up much of a fight about the work.
When you’re almost done for the day, the door of the house opens. The boys run to the door to hug the mysterious woman who enters. She wears a leather jacket and black pants. God, she is attractive. Her red hair is tied back in a braid.
“Oh, hello,” she says once she sees you. “You must be the teacher Wanda was telling me about. I’m Natasha.”
“Hi, yes, I’m y/n,” you say as you shake her hand. Her green eyes sparkle like Wandas.
“Nice to meet you,” Natasha says. You think you see her look you over briefly before the kids grab her attention again.
“We’re done for the day, so I’ll head out,” you say, gathering your things.
“Okay. Thanks for helping them. I hope to see you again soon, y/n,” Natasha says.
She disappears into the kitchen, and you wonder about the nature of her relationship with Wanda.
The next few weeks of tutoring go smoothly. You see Natasha a couple of times. She doesn’t say much but she always thanks you for your time.
Today, when you knock on the door and wait for an answer there is a long delay. The boys usually open the door immediately. Five minutes go by, and you decide to knock a couple of more times.
Finally, Wanda comes to the door. She is never here when it’s time for tutoring. And especially not in a robe with messy hair.
“Oh shit,” Wanda remarks at the sight of you. “I forgot to cancel today. The boys are visiting family.”
“That’s alright,” you say. “I’ll just be on my way.”
At the time you go to turn around, Natasha emerges from the other room. She has only a t-shirt and underwear on. You try to look away.
“Who is it, detka?” Nat asks.
“Ms. Y/l/n,” Wanda says. She doesn’t look away from you. “I forgot to cancel tutoring.”
“Oh,” Natasha says. “Don’t be rude, Wanda.” She walks to the door and looks at you. “Come on in, y/n.”
You don’t even argue with that despite the very little clothes either of them are wearing. You enter and Nat pours you a drink.
“I’m sorry for interrupting,” you say when she hands it to you.
“No worries,” Nat supplies. “Just an afternoon meeting. Right Wands?”
“Right,” Wanda agrees. She seems a little uneasy, but when Nat places a hand on her thigh, you see her nerves calm. “A meeting.”
It’s quiet for a few moments. You try hard not to notice how far up Natasha’s hand has moved or the way Wanda’s thighs look so delicious. Natasha’s too. Nat catches you looking.
“You know we could use help with our meeting,” Natasha says.
“Nat,” Wanda warns.
“Look, sweetheart, she is looking at us,” Natasha says. “I think she wants to join.”
Wanda looks directly into your eyes. Her gaze is hypnotizing. Natasha’s hand dips completely between her thighs. Wanda moans quietly.
“Do you want to join?” Wanda asks. It’s the first time you’ve noticed she has a bit of an accent.
“I- um- yes?” You phrase it like a question.
“I need you to be sure,” Wanda says.
She reaches her hand out towards you. You get the memo. You cross the room and Wanda takes your hand. She pulls you onto her lap. Nat’s hand remains between her thighs and as a result brushes against you too.
Wanda brushes your hair off of your face. She keeps her hand on your face. The long digits hold your face tight. She leans in and kisses your lips softly. The feeling makes your head dizzy.
“So good,” Wanda whispers when she pulls away. “Natasha, you need to taste her.”
Natasha pulls you by the back of your neck over to meet her lips. She moans into the kiss as she deepens it. Her tongue invades your mouth. The kiss is rough, but you want so much more. Your hips stutter over Wanda’s lap.
“Hm, needy girl,” Natasha says once she pulls away. She lifts your shirt over your head and Wanda immediately starts sucking at your breasts.
You kiss Nat as Wanda stimulates your nipples. She leaves no inch of your chest untouched. She unbuttons your pants and you stand up to let her pull them down your legs. Wanda instructs you to stay standing. Nat stands up behind you and kneels while Wanda kneels in front of you.
“Your pussy is so wet,” Wanda says. “Hm, I just want to taste it.”
“Taste it, Wanda. Make her feel good,” Natasha says. “And I’ll do the same.”
The two women dive into you. Natasha’s hands help spread you as Wanda eats you out. Natasha joins her and you feel both of their mouths hard at work. You would fall over if it wasn’t for Natasha’s strong arms holding you up.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” you mumble way too quickly. But they don’t care. They keep up their ministrations until you’re shaking with pleasure.
“So fucking good,” Natasha says.
“Mhm,” Wanda agrees.
The two women pull away from you and share a filthy kiss. In the process, Wanda sits back on the couch and takes her robe off. Her entire body is exposed to you. You’re sure your mouth is watering.
Natasha pushes you gently to kneel between Wanda’s legs. You waste no time kissing her soft thighs. Exactly as delicious as you thought she would be.
“Such a good girl,” Natasha says. She takes her own underwear off and reveals she’s wearing a strap. You’re not sure how you hadn’t seen it before.
Nat gets it wet before she gets on her knees. She angles the fake cock perfectly to enter you from behind. You’re already wet, so it goes in easy. Nat moves her hips at an excruciating pace as Wanda pushes on your head to keep you between her legs.
You lick stripes over her folds and take her clit in your mouth. Wanda watches as Natasha pounds into you.
“Fuck that’s so hot,” she says.
“She takes me so well, Wanda,” Natasha says.
The words drive you crazy. You pick up your pace on Wanda and she comes in no time. You clean her up as Natasha brings you to another orgasm.
You and Wanda turn your focus to Natasha. You take the cock in your mouth and Wanda’s juices coat it. Natasha groans at the feeling. Wanda maneuvers herself to lick Natasha’s pussy that’s not covered by the strap.
The two of you get Natasha off quickly. And you all rest on the couch. Natasha and Wanda hold you between them as your limbs tangle together.
“I’m really glad I forgot to cancel tutoring today,” Wanda says.
“Me too,” Natasha adds.
“Me three,” you say and share a laugh with the women.
You hope Wanda invites you over more often now. Especially if Natasha is going to be there.
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comfortless · 7 months
Note
The way you write König makes me cry and dry heave cuz you balance his loser unhingeness and his heartbreaking tenderness is✨ ART✨
Now I feel like you would be able to EAT this prompt up but imagine König as Frankenstein’s creature that is this big ass hulking mass of body that immediately makes the town grab their pitchforks but he can DESTROY them in seconds. But inside he is just a little guy who just wants somebody to hold and love (and other activities if ya know what I mean
Keep doing what you do❤️
A Place For Us
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Frankenstein’s creature! König x fem! horologist reader
content/warnings: 18+. minors do not interact. discrepancies!, reader is implied to have anxiety, angst & fluff, non-malicious stalking?, loner/loner dynamic my beloved.., brief mentions of previous murders and religious imagery, codependency, smut; masturbation, unprotected piv.
notes: receiving this ask was so funny to me because @melancholic-thing and i have been bouncing this idea around forever (i simply could not have brought this any justice without ghost’s input— if you see this please know that ily dearly). thank you, anon for your kind words and finally giving me the push that i needed to write it! 💘
wc: 10.6k
You’re good at fixing broken things; tinkering with them with a set of well-polished tools until they begin to tick, or chime, or cuckoo.
Some take longer than an afternoon sat before the wooden desk, weeks or months— a year, once. Oiled parts and small cogs, the three arms that jerk and glide over a face riddled with numbers that all lull you into feeling that your work is not just some monotonous service only the rich buzzards could afford, but as if you were a healer of sorts; a little cleric stationed to bring life into whichever jagged, broken thing has been dropped or kicked at her doorstep.
This one, however… you’re convinced it’s as good as dead.
No matter how many times you take apart the little, gray pocket watch, the arms refuse to move. Its ticking sounds less like that of the beating of the heart and more like the grinding of dry teeth, a corpse begging, pleading to let this attempted resurrection come to an end.
Your tweezers wrench the face free, and all at once it proves too much— bending and warping beneath the metal grip until it cracks, a split right through it, down to its very center.
“How…” Your voice fills the void of ticking, pseudo-silence surrounding you. A word slipped out in frustration and unknowing before you finally toss the wretched little thing onto the desk with a clatter and step aside.
The house is as dark and brooding as always, too large for a woman on her own and a workshop that hardly counts as a proper business. Shelves of broken clocks serve as decor where potted plants and well-loved photographs should sit in their stead. Books of study for modern devices such as these in place of the poetry and worn love letters other women seemed to have in abundance.
This place was starved out of light, even with the flickering glow of candles and the electric humming of the unnatural yellow one above.
The sun is no stranger, either, your curtains neatly pulled aside to allow for it to filter through like an invited guest. Only it doesn’t, not on such a melancholic gray day.
You need a walk, a distraction, or this hungry home would be certain to rip away your work from the shelves and swallow you whole instead.
Isn’t it such a tragedy that, someone who pours her creativity and all of her love into time, all she seems to do is waste it?, the gaudy wallpaper seems to taunt, all the colors of filthy maroon and darkened blue flowers seeming to make it feel more imposing and less of a comfort.
Your hand curls around the handle of your umbrella, a sturdy thing, but just as drab as the rest of the home. Then, the package you’ve been putting off delivering to the elderly woman in town. Best to get it done with now, maybe upon your return the hands that fix could do so once again.
Shame about the clock face though. You would certainly have to patch together another and pray the pocket watch’s owner wouldn’t notice.
The wind is not what you had anticipated.
Outside is different. The howling of it past the windows and shuddering through the attic felt perfectly at home in your shoddy little house, but as the door swings shut behind you, it feels entirely alive. Cold and bitter and angry— the things you keep repressed that nature lacks the tact to.
The trees bend and sway from its invisible yet incessant pushing. The hand containing the package falls down to the lap of your skirt to keep it from flying up just as your other clutches the umbrella ever tighter to keep it from billowing out into the air to be left discarded miles away.
It isn’t a short walk to town, but with the wind and the drizzling rain, it almost seems as though you’re in more tender company than the lumber and the ticking clocks.
The path through the forest is overgrown as always, branches are pushed aside and your skirt is lifted to avoid burrs and thorns.
You should have had the sense to bring along a coat, because when the thunder does strike up and the rain finally begins to fall in heavy, hurried drops, you find yourself shivering terribly with the package guarded against your chest.
Lamplight would have done well, too.
You would have almost happily allowed yourself to toss aside the umbrella and be battered by the rain if you could only see. The forest is dark on days like this, with the canopy of thick branches and their dense leaves blocking out any sliver of light cast down from overhead.
It’s only by sheer luck that you don’t manage to trip, toss your delivery into the shadow of a tree and lose it entirely before you do make it out. When the trees finally part to the barren hill overlooking town you breathe a sigh of relief, a quiet thanks for the grayed light above.
Your steps are hurried as you make your way through the quiet town. The shop windows are all lit aglow with the silhouettes of people inside, strangely dancing like shadows through a fog. A place you can not be, can not touch.
The stares the townsfolk give you make your skin crawl, as though they are so close to being what you are but not, only tied down to your world when they think themselves lofty. Their eyes always seem to question, scrape under your skin with sharpened arms, ticking and flaying, always asking: Why?
You face forward as your skin begins to prickle, not from the wet or the chill but a subdued sort of fear that nestles burning into your chest, sets your heart rushing like a rabbit.
The streets are silent enough, a small blessing; any passing strangers are hurriedly skittering through the rain and muck to hide away in their homes, children ushered with a hand to their back by flustered looking mothers, complaining in hushed voices about the rain. You only smile at them and step aside when your paths cross.
They never smile for you.
It’s why the broken clocks are delivered to your doorstep rather than brought inside, addresses and names from muffled voices calling out beyond your thick wooden door, coins and bills pushed through the mail slot to lie cold on the welcome mat. The bell above the door never chimes, and you only make your deliveries on days like this, when the rain or the dark blanket you up to keep you safe and eternally somber.
You leave the package on the doorstep, covered from the rain by a small, vermillion awning. One sharp knock is given and you’re back on your way, back to the old house, to the simplicity of the ticking, the comfort of the old cobweb on the vaulted ceiling and the drab gray of the bleakness.
There are puddles now, glistening with any light they can suck into their depths, threatening and taunting as the dull stares and that rickety old desk you really should fix. You think for a moment, that perhaps no one would even notice if one of those dark pits of rain water pulled you in entirely, only to splash through it with ease, dirtying the ends of your skirt.
The rain lessens when you crest the hill, the forest less a tangle of clattering limbs and now only a gentle sway reaches the tops of the trees, light filtering through them, as if to guide you on your way. It doesn’t lessen the bushels of thorns, the tree limbs downed and scattered over the path. In some small blessing, you’re able to scramble over them without having to plan a visit to a tailor to repair a ripped gown; scrubbing the mud from it would surely be tedious enough.
The droplets splatter against the dirt and fallen leaves in hushed bursts, the forest alive as always with the cooing of nesting birds in spite of the rain. The only thing that seems out of place is a sudden, soft thud, the snap of a branch underfoot. Just one footfall, and things return to a placid state amidst the sky’s tears.
You raise your head to glimpse in the direction, gaze sweeping over the figure of a man some paces off to your left. Beneath the shadow of a broad, twisting pine layered in thick branches, his details are mostly obscured, a thin trail of silver light only casting aglow the glimpse of a blue eye.
He’s only large enough to notice, shoulders slumped and chest rapidly rising to fall like a frightened animal; as his silhouette shifts just so you even consider that he’s shivering.
There’s something in that stare of somber blue that splinters at the wall of discomfort; it is not accusing, not bitter, worn and cold. Curious. Something akin to your own.
Damn your sweetness, your inability to simply let things be even as that ache twists around in your chest, clawing at a cage of bone and hissing that you keep silent. Be on your way. Don’t look back.
Instead, you extend your umbrella outward, toward him.
“Awful rain, hm?,” you chime.
The figure visibly tenses, seems to shrink into himself for a moment before straightening and giving one solemn nod.
“You can take my umbrella. I’m almost home, anyway.”
That seems to spark something, not much, but the stranger does take a step forward. Your eyes catch on the wet, matted hair clinging to his head, cascading down to shroud a face you still can’t quite make out.
The poor thing stirs something in you, a deep sympathy that clouds even the judgment of that flighty, skittish thing resting deep inside.
Even from such a distance it’s clear that he’s been neglected, likely cast off by the town even less favorably than you have. His scent carries on the breeze, like dirt and wood and misery.
You extend the umbrella again before realizing he won’t come any closer with you being there. So, you lower it to the ground, avoiding the mud as best you could and leave it. If he took it, fine. If not, you travel this path so often it would be collected in time.
The figure mutters something as you rise, a low string of foreign words that you can only interpret as being spoken out of surprise, perhaps even gratitude.
You smile toward him as you wipe fat, slithering raindrops from your brow.
“You don’t want to catch a fever.”
With that, you’re back on your way, thoughts of the rugged stranger weigh heavy on your mind as the roof of your home comes into view, stilted and in the same drab navy as the flowers on the wallpaper.
You could have done more. It had been instilled into you to not to open the door for someone you did not quite know, yet a part of you longed to take care of something not simply fed by oil, something only capable of telling you how much time you’ve sat alone as thanks.
Surely it was best not to let it distract you.
This was good enough.
The key is produced, the door opened, and just like the many times before that you have forced yourself from this place, the house seems less unsettling upon your return.
As what little daylight remains fades away into night, you find yourself seated, toying with the old pocket watch once more. It’s the only one that doesn’t make a lick of sense, a puzzle that can not be solved. For all the polished parts and meticulous tinkering, it still won’t work properly.
It grates and growls as though rusted, the cogs shifting inside with each movement of the arms are well-polished yet seem to do little but hiss and spit.
This is the fourth time you have taken it apart only to put it back together with no improvement.
There was little to be known about the man who owned it, some pompous, arrogant creature that you had only seen in passing. He had turned his nose up to you, you were sure of that, only to deliver this dying thing to your door the following day.
Your work had always been compared to your father’s. Though you possessed a similarity in skill, you were not what the townsfolk had deemed to be respectable. An unwed lady out on her own, biding her time repairing what they had broken rather than feeding hungry mouths delivered from her very womb, how terribly scandalous.
The pocket watch is set aside as you busy yourself tailoring a small sheet of metal for it. The graduations are carved in with a sharp razor, impeccably angled. Then, the Roman numerals, just before it’s slotted back into place.
The likeness to the former face is nearly uncanny, it’s only sturdier and less susceptible to ripping from the mere touch of tweezers. The rust s gone from the casing, and at long last— it ticks; no grinding growl as the second hand begins its revolution. The fickle thing just needed a touch up, you supposed as you flick off the desk lamp and rise to your feet.
The curtains are drawn as they always were when you step into the bedroom. The muddy dress is finally peeled away as you change and slink into the covers, and just for a moment, you almost think that you feel the animal between your breasts begin to settle too.
———
There’s a letter stuffed into the mail slot: crumpled with no postage stamp, scrawled across some scrap of paper that surely was plucked from a garbage bin.
You marvel at the lack of care for a moment before your fingers do find themselves pawing at it, unfurling the worn edges to find the words: Thank you.
Written in thick black ink, there’s a clumsiness to it, the dance of a quivering hand holding pen. You think back to the elderly woman you had made that delivery to only yesterday; had she trudged through the mud and muck just to bring you this?
Her thanks was only needed in the blessing of payment, and she had already generously done just that when she left her little humming wall clock at the door.
You flip the note over, inspecting it carefully. There’s a line there, too, hastily scratched out in the same black ink, the lines crossing and digging leaving little pinprick holes in the paper.
Holding it to the light, you can just barely make out the words: I have been alone.
Your mouth dries at the sentiment, tongue flicking out to try and force a wetness to your lips. The animal begins its keening howl, a chain rattling as claws sink into your innards; the very same agitated fear that starved you out of comfort day in and out.
The man in the forest, perhaps. You were sure that you would have remembered seeing someone so disheveled and tall about town, and if not for a certainty that he had not followed you home, you would have assumed it was him. Gratitude finally said, and well on his way to someplace else.
There’s nothing here for him or anyone else, surely he could see that. Even you could.
The walls around you seem to bulge, the room shrinking once again as every little thing held within begins to taunt and yowl. Safety was only a temporary luxury, it always has been.
The letter is discarded onto a table, as you opt to hazard a peek out of your curtains instead. The gray from yesterday remains as thick clouds crowd above, threatening another storm. The treetops and tall grass dance in the breeze, freeing leaves and breaking flower stems. There’s no one standing there to greet you, to explain themselves for the strange message that they had left.
The town had probably already driven you to madness, picturing things that were not there while old fools jab you with ominous letters and jeering stares to see just how long it would take to watch you fall apart.
Another delivery day it would be, then; best to get it out of the way before the rain begins to fall.
Maybe you could even retrieve the umbrella along the path, discarded, battered from the rain and likely unused.
You don’t bother packaging the pocket watch, choosing to hastily stuff it into the pocket of your coat instead. Courtesies be damned. Tea and a warm bath would do well when the house was sated by your absence, when you were finally given time to breathe.
In your haste, you nearly kick over what’s been left on the uppermost stair leading to your door.
You find a table clock covered in a thick black fabric, a little note attached to it giving the owner’s name and address, and a small bag containing payment.
It’s all securely placed inside, next to the ugly letter on the table.
Your umbrella doesn’t wait on the path, but you’ve hardly the mind to care. Your hand tightens around the pocket watch as you cord your way down the path and back into town, rushing amidst the foliage until the sounds of your footfalls are dulled by the street.
Reaching the house, a towering narrow building that smells like tobacco even from outside, your hand curls to knock at the door in the same breath taken as the chain is plucked to place it on the knob, intent on scurrying away immediately to avoid the disgusted gaze of the man that waits inside.
You don’t quite make it far enough before the door swings open and you’re greeted by a round face, nose upturned and lip curled into a sneer.
That isn’t imagination.
There’s a genuine hate in this man, seeping down into his bones that makes him almost seem to reek like sulfur through the cloud of cigarette smoke that wafts around him. It’s the face of someone who would love nothing more than to see your own damnation, watch the earth suck you in until your wails fall silent and a fire roars upward in your wake.
“This isn’t my watch, dear.”
“Parts needed to be replaced,” you explain, voice tight and keening like a wolf in a trap, “I assure you that I—“
“It’s shoddy work. Any clocksmith up north would have done better for half the price..”
It goes on like this for what feels like at minimum thirty revolutions, but it must have only been five or so. His droning voice makes it hard to keep track, buzzing as he examines your work, hours wasted upon aiding such an awful creature.
He only seems to grow bored of his chiding when you fall to silence. He wants a reaction, not a wide-eyed fretful stare and pursed lips caging in any sound that may bubble up from your throat.
In one final act of detestation, the watch is tossed to the ground, stomped in repetition until the hands snap, the ticking quiets, and you see months of your work brought to ruin in a mere seven seconds.
He storms back inside and slams the door shut as you stoop to collect the little, broken thing, cradling it in your palms. Maybe it wouldn’t be fixed again, but you’ve hardly the mind to let anything be left abandoned like this.
Though the anger builds, white bitter smoke billowing through your veins, it remains tucked away inside eventually communing with the animal, all but entirely snuffed out when your steps lead you to the front door of the house.
The window to the right is open, not broken. The curtains were pushed aside as though to allow a breeze to enter. A muddy footprint, vast and long scales the siding, but there’s no exiting one to join it.
You stare and listen, taking one quiet step towards the open window to strain your hearing. Nothing. Inside, it’s quiet, only the sound of the breeze rattling that note left on the table, the ticking and the familiar creaks and groans of the house settling.
So, you enter.
With the poker from the hearth in tow, the rooms are investigated one by one. Each and every one of them clear of any intruder. Even the attic, for all of it’s imagined ghosts sits empty, stale and silent. There’s no one here, nothing out of place or broken that hadn’t already been cast out from the world and delivered into your hands.
Strangely enough, it’s more peaceful like this; the leaves could be heard rustling outside, birds calling, even the chirps and strumming of crickets too late to flee the onset of chill seeping through this purgatory, filling the mundane void with sounds of life and peace.
You leave the window open.
The pocket watch is left on the desk, the kettle filled with water and placed upon the stove to heat, all before your eyes trail over to that little table beside the front door.
The only thing amiss is there, your intuition roars at you: “Look, look. Just look.”
The table clock from this morning sits there, the wood casing dusty and the hands perpetually stuck to sit at six o’clock, easy to enough to break, and easier still to fix. An overworked battery and a little oil would be its saving grace; if only things could be so simple for yourself, for the thousand or so others that surely must feel the same— clawed, fretful little rabbits.
Your eyes narrow momentarily, vaguely recalling that the damned thing had been covered when it was dragged inside. Something sable and thick, a scrap of a heavy dress shirt perhaps, verily stained. Odd that someone would have broken in merely to steal something so useless, but stranger tales have been told. For all you cared, the perpetrator could keep it.
You entertain the idea of the wild man in the trees, thick and sturdy as one. Perhaps he left the note, stole warmth from your home and found comfort in that useless old shirt after leaving that roughly scrawled note. Though the idea would horrify others, it only sets your ceaselessly racing pulse at ease.
Toying with the idea that someone so very much like you lurks the hills, found a home in your eyes and paid a visit, kind enough to wait until you were in town as to not scare you… and the kettle begins to whistle.
———
You had forgotten to close the window last night. Or maybe it was left as an invitation, a silent offer of your companionship for the unknown thing that occupies your already haunted mind these days. Something in your subconscious dared you to simply forget, see what happens, and you’re not entirely disappointed to find out that yes, something has happened.
There are three flowers laid out there in a row, smushed by the weight of a heavy palm: a daffodil left golden and proud despite the way her petals fray and wither, and two others wild and unnamed with blue and white colors leading to vibrant green stems. And roots. He hadn’t the time to pluck them proper, nor had a sense of gentleness to his touch in doing so.
It’s the first time you’ve laughed in months, a giggling that makes your chest ache from a sudden mirth through all of this wretchedness. Who knew it would only take three flowers and the appearance of someone so disconnected? You take them and place them in a vase in the same spot, careful to add just the right amount of water to keep them living for a time.
Someone brought you flowers— actually brought you a gift, not a job. You remember those eyes, too. His hands may not have been gentle, but that look was.
Though darkness still creeps internally, you’re resolute in what you must do when you prepare for the day. You’ve never really worn this dress— a soft, white thing with billowing sleeves and tight cuffs that brings a swell to your breasts and cinches your waist. One of the women about town had given it to you in lieu of payment for repairing her husband's watch, left a note prattling onward for three pages about how a woman should dress to find a man. Three!
You’ll find him, thank him for the flowers, bat your eyelashes just a little and retrieve your umbrella. That’s all. The rain would be back, more deliveries would have to be made, and if you could manage a friend from all of this well… surely things could work out for you, just this once.
Your steps are less hurried and more tentative this time around. You don’t barrel through the woods like a galloping mare, mindful of your dress as you lift the fabric at the hips to avoid thick, slickened mire. There isn’t much to do about the thorns nipping at your ankles, leaving little scratches like cat’s claws in their wake.
The thought that maybe this was a ridiculous idea only settles in your mind after an hour of searching. You don’t even have a name to call him by, not an idea on just where he may be or what his intentions truly were, all further punctuated by the fact that you’ve found yourself in the midst of a wild orchard, the yellowing grass nearly reaching your knees as you reluctantly allow your dress to flow free. Thick clusters of apples hang above your head, each nearly ripe, some even fallen to leave a fragrant sweet smell in the wake of their rot.
Thunder roars above, distant but loud, cruelly threatening the wake of a downpour that would so easily sully the delicate thing you wear. Your chest aches from exertion, from whichever horrid fear it's settled on today, and you’re nearly fully convinced of your own madness when something does finally catch your eye.
There’s a cabin, nestled between the trees, old and lacking glass panes for the windows. The roof is covered in moss, walls creeping with the old green of vines and nearly hidden away entirely by the tall grass that rises above its face.
You could wait out the storm in the dark there, rethink your steps until you find a way back home and the prospect of actually entering a building that wasn’t the very picture of your own agony stirs something within you.
You don’t bother to knock, only waltz right in and let the door shut softly behind you. It creaks as it goes, whining from the rust laden over its hinges. As expected, the cabin is mostly barren; a set of dust laden chairs sits on opposite ends of a table missing a leg, a large bookshelf housing only a torn copy of Paradise Lost and a journal, a few dirtied dishes are left on the floor, and in the corner…
There are a lot of things that make you feel small.
You couldn’t live up to your father’s name in town. The thought that you were not an equal to the other ladies with their fine jewelry and dresses, rings wrapped around their fingers, that was a sore spot despite the way you refused to admit to it. Even the hounds lurking about the butcher’s shop on lonely night deliveries, baying and growling when your feet carried you too close.
None of those things could even compare to how you felt now.
The rug he lies beneath is large on its own, but your flower-giving, grateful titan seems even more so. It’s as though walking into a bear’s den and expecting a mere squirrel. Even curled into himself in sleep, he seems impossibly huge.
You couldn’t see much of him that first night, but now… where the rags that make up his clothes reveal a series of long scars along his legs, the hairy arms that seem far too thick: all of him, all of him is massive.
Your rabbit heart does not claw or fight you now, it only flutters, placated by the sight of something so… was there really a word for it? The idea that someone so imposing could strike the match of attraction within you. Feelings were strange, each comes sharp and new like the deliberate twist of a knife through a body, soft like warm bread.
You smile as you wander to his side, recognizing the cloth he wears over his head immediately as the one stolen from your house. Your dress is smoothed at your rear as you lower yourself to sit on your knees at his side, quiet and slow.
“Hello,” you whisper, placing a hand on a shoulder that dwarfs it entirely, feeling the bulge of muscle beneath the ripped shirt, the ridge of keloid scars from deep cuts laid into his skin.
The titan’s eyelids flutter for a moment as he begins to stir, staring up at the ceiling, teetering on the edge between waking and dreaming. Then, those cold blue eyes lock onto you. A flash of disbelief crosses them, just for a moment before something flips and from the holes ripped into that makeshift hood you see an expression that seems almost agonized.
“Hello,” he rasps after a long moment, shifting onto his side to prop himself up and raise his head to level with your own.
His breathing is shallow, almost panicked and you finally think to bring your hands to your lap instead, avoid touching him and potentially startling the poor man further.
“I wanted to thank you… for the flowers. They’re beautiful.” You pause as you study what little of his expression you can make out through the mask, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners only giving a glimpse of a smile. All teeth, probably, an excited one that even the imagination of warms your heart. “I put them in a vase. I didn’t want them to die.”
“I should not have…” His voice is softer than you ever imagined that it could be, well-spoken as the words are pulled from his throat. You find yourself transfixed, almost, praying that he continues if only to hear the delicate strumming of his tone, the soft sigh of breath that leaves him afterward.
“Es tut mir leid.”
The apology is followed by a low sweep of his gaze, slowly crawling from the peek of your cleavage to your hips to rest where your hands lay clasped in your lap.
He hardly seems to know what to do with himself, what to say, and all at once the realization dawns on you that no, he isn’t merely paying his thanks and seeking conversation. Perhaps that was part of it then, but now… he seems almost entranced.
You recognize those looks, from men in passing when they leered, but from him… from this weary, haunted stranger. It only seems a silent sort of reverence; as though longing for something he’s been deprived of.
“No, it’s fine, it made me happy.”
“Happy?”
“Yes, it was sweet.”
He falls silent at that, conflicted if the pinch of his brow were anything to go by. Then, sudden, he takes your wrist and jerks your hand toward his face, thumb brushing over the small calluses over each pad of your fingers. There’s dirt beneath his fingernails, even more scaring along those massive hands and you shiver. It’s not fear it’s… something akin to it, opposite by the way it dances and writhes in warmth rather than the cold.
“You have the hands of a maker.”
Strange, sweet Goliath.
His words are spoken somberly, as if there is more to say that he holds back. A part of you warns that you’re not prepared for it anyhow, so you let him continue that motion, brushing over your palm with a featherlight touch until it begins to tickle.
Your giggle prompts him to raise his head, watery eyes threatening tears when he hears that sweet sound bubble up from within you. His hand curls over your own, trapping you in his grasp as though little else matters to him more than the need to touch you in some way.
“You have kind eyes.”
“I am not kind.”
You shake your head at that, flicking your thumb across the top of his burly hand, marveling at the smooth skin of his scars and the rough texture of the hair that dots his knuckles.
“You’re sweet to me, and that’s all that matters.”
It could have been a mistake, how easily you’ve taken to this bizarre titan. Any lady with proper regard for her standing and womanhood assuredly wouldn’t have said something like that to a beast that has the stature and the scent of something wild.
Still, the words leave your lips far too quickly to draw back; he responds with an urgency.
You find yourself pulled ever closer by the iron grip on your hand, tugged into the rug-turned-mattress by this man as he cages you in to meld against his chest. He’s everywhere, warm and burning against the chill of your skin with flesh touched by hellfire.
You only sigh pitifully when his arm wraps around your waist. When was the last time you had even felt an embrace? You couldn’t recall, and even if you had, it would have paled in comparison to one such as this. You breathe him in like a summer’s breeze, tasting a hint of the apple orchard beyond on your tongue when you open your mouth to speak once again.
“See..?”
The tension in his muscles seems to melt away; if your heart is like a hare then surely his must be more akin to a bull. It takes some time before he softens entirely against you, despite his initiation. His breath is almost a pant when his hand trails upward along your back, feeling every ridge and dip and curve, breath catching in wonder as you allow it.
“You are soft like…”
His head dips to press into your shoulder, breathing you in, humming his approval at the mingling scent of clock oil and tea leaves that lingers on your skin. Even from beneath the hood, you can feel the way his lips brush over you, his mouth parted in a voiceless plea.
“… like one of the flowers.”
It’s almost torture really, how someone could be so comforting, so endearing.
His hand trails further, drifting over the backside of your dress to curl against your thigh threatening something if you don’t conjure the sense to stop him. It stokes the fire within you, glowing ember in place of a brain, it seemed. You feel weak, lost in a foreign touch and sweet, clumsily spoken words.
If the townsfolk could see you now, herded up in this stranger’s arms, surely they wouldn’t dare to cast any disapproval your way. Not one of those meek little devils would have a word to say… not now or ever again.
“You’re like… a tree then,” you whisper as you finally will yourself to twist away from the grip, already mourning the loss of warmth as a cold wind filters through the openings in the cabin.
He doesn’t sulk as you pull away, only seems content to have been blessed with that much. That mist remains in his eyes before they shut again, willing himself to rise to sit up just as you do.
“Will you stay?”
You glance over the cabin again, with all of its dust and cobwebs. Your umbrella sits in the corner, propped upright with its handle leant against the wall, out of place amidst the dilapidation prevalent here.
This wasn’t a home at all, just a quiet, cold purgatory. Though the halls of your own may mock your solitude, this place seems to echo his very being: alone, broken, rotting and so, so very cold.
Your heart bleeds as you weigh your options, expression growing sullen and torn. He notices, tentatively takes your hand again in an almost practiced way of providing comfort. Had he ever even…
Your thoughts begin to drift again, and you force yourself to settle on a choice. It’s not your heart that should be damned, but that horrid seed of doubt constantly burdening, stealing from, and clawing at you.
“I should get home, before the rain.”
“Verstanden.”
“You can come too.”
There’s an audible hiss of breath through his teeth, that peculiar look of agony crosses his face again… and finally, he weeps.
———
König, you think to call him.
He teaches you German from time to time, in turn for you allowing him to watch as you work away at the clocks. It feels fitting in a way. Not because he harbors the self-importance of a noble figure, nor his stature; he’s simply become something impossibly important in the week long span you’ve spent together now.
You’ve decorated the guest room properly for him, and in turn he’s brought you firewood, foraged and hunted so that neither of you have had to bother with the town. The fire raged in the hearth as the cold continues to set in, and your walks to town have been enjoyable now. He accompanies you to the hill on some nights, draws you a bath when you come home, even cooks.
So… maybe a king was not entirely appropriate, but calling him a servant certainly wasn’t either. Even with the way he seems to melt and become docile at the slightest brush of your hand, the way you know with a certainty he would die for you if you spoke the word.
And still, you call him König: the king of your heart.
There are flowers at your windowsill each morning, still clinging to their roots. You bake the bread while he cooks stew with herbs gathered from the little garden just beyond the walls of the home, one he’s graciously told you he’s wanted to expand for you. Books you’ve overlooked for years have been read end to end by him, and he especially seems to like those with art of flowers drawn into their pages, always seeking you out to show you, explain their meanings, expressing the beauty that he sees in them and within you.
You don’t know where he’s come from, what his life was like before this, and with the same respect that he gives to you… you don’t ask.
“We’re starting a new story,” you had said the first morning over a breakfast of hastily made apple dumplings. To which he had agreed, with a somber hum, nodding his hooded head.
Though you do wonder about his secrets, his face. Seeing him now is all it really takes to make you smile.
He comes through the door, hauling in the massive grandfather clock that a carriage had left only this morning. The bob and the lyre both appeared broken at a glance, but your heart sinks when you read the name on the note left attached to it.
The same petulant little man that had stomped that poor watch to pieces right in front of you, no doubt he had broken this one too in some sort of tantrum. What was it now? Had the poor clock chimes a bit too loudly during the night? Was that deserving of a foot lodged right into its heart?
“König, do you mind just leaving it there?” You gesture toward the middle of the room, watching as the muscles beneath his shirt don’t even seem to ripple from exertion.
“Natürlich.”
As you set to work, pulling away parts, straightening out bends and replacing what’s broken, he kneels at your side watching with rapt attention. There’s no fixing the pendulum bob entirely, it’s far too bent and scraped, but you wouldn’t be replacing that with work of your own either. The bastard gets what he gets and that will do.
In truth, your work since having König here has only improved, and perhaps you’re showing off a bit, but the way he watches you tinker with the dusty old things as if mesmerized fills you with pride. You could fix anything, yes, with him at your side you wanted to.
The house doesn’t echo wasted time anymore, only that crowding feeling of something buzzing and chirping, budding up in the spaces where shadows should crawl: love. You wouldn’t trade it for the loneliness to return, not ever. A new sort of fear that stings just as much as it does caress.
So you work in silence, only breaking it to answer the sparse questions that he throws out.
When the clock is shoddily finished, you wipe the oil from your hands on a rag, and take König’s own large arm as it’s offered out to you to stand.
“I will carry it for you tonight,” he suggests, delicately brushing a bit of dust from your sleeve. His touch does linger, always lingers, trailing up to massage at your shoulder and cup at your neck. The swell of heat that arrives at your face then, the press of your thighs beneath your skirt… it’s always the same.
“I thought that you didn’t want to go into town?”
Your shoulder meets his chest as you press against him, doing very little to calm your body’s frustrations. The blood within you stirs like a violent wave feeling him this near— cleaned up and dressed in some patchwork conglomerate of your father’s old clothes. He smells like a union between the earth and sea, salt and alder leaf, a hint of thyme and lavender.
His eyes glitter when his gaze roves from your face to chest, hand skittering down to curl at the small of your back. To anyone else, you would look the picture of husband and wife perhaps.
“I would go anywhere with you.”
A fresh normal, like the rise of spring, those words and touches that suggest more: threatening while you plead in silence for him to just give you a push, unlace your dress and finally feel and see him properly.
“Then… yes, let’s get the cursed thing out of here tonight.”
His grip tightens around you just for a moment, fingers curling and flexing into the soft linen covering you, bunching it up just so at your back before he relents, draws away.
“You dislike this one?” König sounds almost hurt, perhaps he favored it, being tall and similar to him in some way. Another odd thing, hard to place, but he’s never seemed to like you talking down about your own work, a habit that needed breaking.
“No,” you begin to explain, curling your arms around his middle as you both stare at the thing, ticking quietly before you, “its owner is just a pain.”
“I can tell. You seem nervous, meine geliebte.”
“You haven’t taught me that one yet,” you point out, not playing coy, despite the look he gives you that suggests you know.
There’s always that ache when his eyes narrow and that playful glint reaches them. How someone could look as though they’ve suffered dozens of lifetimes of pain and still have that look, you did not know, but it excites you. A furious, needy excitement.
“Beloved,” is all that he says.
The stare relents as he heads back out into the garden, leaving you to sort yourself out.
———
“You’re sure that you can carry it the entire way?”
It’s not that you could help, really. The thing must have weighed as much as yourself, strung up over König’s back with a rope he had found lying someplace in the garden.
“Ja, it’s fine.” He’s not out of breath in the slightest either. You realize then that if you put on all your charms bending, arching and delicately maneuvering your hands to fix the clocks, the assuredly this was his way of doing the same. You try to reign yourself in from staring at the damp spot on his shirt, clinging to his broad expanse of chest, the way that his thighs seem to tense with each step forward.
You can’t— you merely trail behind him until you take the lead to bring him right to the other man’s doorstep. Your hands find the ropes that keep the clock saddled to König’s back, carefully untying them as he stoops down to let its wooden legs rest against the ground below. It scrapes, the consequence of being so heavy and forced to stand on those four tiny legs, and only then does it decide to make a cacophony of noise signaling the new hour, a trilling sort of bong that makes even your ears ring as it breaks up the silence of the night.
You don’t even need to knock, because the door flies open immediately. The man stands proud, unperturbed by your giant companion as he shoves past you to inspect his clock. There are no greetings, no pleasantries, and if you were just a bit more careless with your reputation, smacking him would have only brought you satisfaction.
“Not good, but it will do,” the little man huffs, knocking at the glass casing over the clock’s face with his knuckle. “Be a dear and have your friend bring it in for me.”
You’ve no doubt that König senses your annoyance as he cocks his head at you, but when you give a curt nod in response, he does what’s requested. The clock is set in a large den. It’s not as opulent and gilded as you had expected, just a simple home housing a very infuriating man. You watch from the doorway, swaying on your feet as König rights the clock and pushes it where he’s directed. Just a few more seconds and the two of you would be well on your way, and perhaps he would even teach you a new curse for a man like that.
He comes uncomfortably close to König’s side, a smug look plastered over his face that only seems to exaggerate just how greasy and mousy that you know him to be. Something is whispered that you can’t quite make out, a dare, a mocking taunt, something that pisses you off even without the knowledge.
The hood is pulled off by thin fingers, cast aside to the floor beyond the pair.
The man’s face goes pale before you even get a glimpse of König at all. He backs away, mouth gaping as König calmly moves to retrieve the cloth. You think you hear the word “monster” mumbled amidst a slew of incoherent babbling, but when your companion turns to face you, you feel no fear.
König’s face is like patchwork, scars connecting all together. They run like small streams up from his jaw and over his chin, splitting his lip at the corner of his mouth and dancing up to his eye. The nose is broken in places, several times over likely, crooked with a bump that only seems strangely cute. The unkempt hair lining his jaw should be trimmed, but… there’s no monster here. Only a man who has seen and felt pains that you could not bring yourself to imagine.
His head dips when he notices your wide-eyes stare, a sort of shame hidden away behind strands of long, black hair. He shuffles out of the house and shuts the door behind him, standing rigid as he expects the worst, for you to wail and sob and gather a group of townsfolk to herd him far away with fire and stones.
You only take his hand.
“Let’s go home.”
He doesn’t bother to hide himself away again during the walk back, his hand remains in your hold, trembling every now and then and gripping you tighter as he struggles with the thoughts no doubt raging in his skull like a storm. You offer your comfort as you lean toward him, head pressed against his arm even as you turn the knob and step inside.
You warm a bath for him then, a task that is no easy feat. König does not offer his help, resigned to some belief that this is only a temporary pity.
He allows you to peel away his clothes, graze your fingers over his body, over the scars all with a barely contained creature scraping out from inside: the untamed bull that you can not see. You press a kiss there, over his heart, feel it’s beating against your lips, pulling away only when his thumb strokes your cheek.
Each new sight of him is just as wonderful as they have always been. It’s not that you take pleasure in seeing the way he must have suffered; the now healed bullet wound over his abdomen speaks volumes of just what people are capable of when met with the sight of something that they do not understand.
The questions burn at the back of your skull, bitten back as your jaw tightens.
You help him wash with soap and a soft cloth, carefully removing any patches of dirt and dust that have lingered despite his near-daily bathing since living beneath your roof. The rough beard is trimmed in full, until all that’s left is a trail of dark stubble lingering along his jaw, broken up by scars like thin spider silk that make up the entirety of his body.
His hair is a mess, too, matted and clinging to his skull in wild clumps. You’re gentle with the brush as you free the tangles, clipping at what can not be saved with sharpened scissors, and massaging at his scalp as he murmurs his approval. It’s such a subdued, gentle cooing from his chest, a purr almost that shatters your heart and forces it back into place instantly.
Whatever he was or was not, you were certain this stray had never felt a touch like your own, if he had ever been touched by human hands at all.
König seems to settle greatly once you’ve tended to him and it does seem to finally dawn on him that you’re not repulsed, you’ve touched most of his damaged body, and have only brought him the gentleness that should have been commonplace by now. This isn’t some elaborate torture method— it’s only tender.
“Your turn, hm?”
That, however, brings you pause. Your hands rest on his shoulder, carefully trying to loosen a stubborn knot when you abruptly still. As if that were all he needed for encouragement, his hands cinch your waist, pulling you up and over the rim of the tub as you whine your protests in hushed little hisses. All for naught, as you find yourself submerged below the waist.
“I’m still dressed,” you sulk as the water dampens your dress, now seated between his parted thighs.
König only gives a laugh in response as his arms encase you in another embrace, his head resting against the dip between your shoulder and neck as his chest is brought to press against your back.
“And you’re still mine.”
His fingers trail further down to the wet fabric billowing amidst the soft, lapping waves of the water, pulling it up until it rests just above your hips. There’s no tact, only a clumsy sort of desperation rarely seen upon men, especially not of his stature.
You allow him to loosen the strands of lace at your back, bring your clothing up and over your head to leave it resting and dripping over the rim, pooling below onto the boards of the wooden floor. Your undergarments follow to join the flooding pile of soaked linen and lace.
You’re flustered certainly, grateful for the water surrounding that conceals the warmth that echoes your fondness for this titan between your legs.
You even considered that he would be more shy, not… as eager to begin to wash you, and not with the cloth but with his own hands, nimbly moving over every dip and curve coating you in the slick residue of soap, leaving suds in its wake. He starts at your shoulders, breath growing heavy the more you soften and relax against his chest.
It’s only a matter of time before his hands find and cup your breasts, and you swear that you can feel the grin that splits his face as you melt further against him. König gropes at and massages you there, eager fingers deliberately stroking at your hardened nipples until you quiver and sigh.
You find purchase moving your arms to your sides to grasp at his biceps, muscles flexing as he works his way down your trembling abdomen to your mound, kissing at your shoulder as you purr your encouragement.
The praises that leave your lips come tight and barely restrained as a finger trails against your slit, moving up to circle your clit before diving back down to prod at you.
Your head is gently tilted back by his free hand, your face peppered in clumsy, messy kisses as a digit sinks into you. It’s lazy work, trying to find a rhythm with your squirming. He only seems satisfied when it presses further, curling against the spot that makes you mewl sweetest, and finally, he kisses you full on.
It’s delivered as sloppily as his fingering, any trailing thought left in your skull dims, fuzzy with sheer bliss as his thumb begins to pet at your clit in tandem with each push and drag of his index. It doesn’t help that you feel his own growing need, hard and hot against your lower back, throbbing with each sound pulled from your mouth, his hips jerking on occasion to drag his shaft against your backside.
“König, we should get out,” you murmur through a flood of heat that curls and urges and presses at your lower half to seek some satisfaction, have him bed you proper. “We can go to—“
His mouth meets yours again, hungrier and more determined than before, the water rolling with each flick of his thumb. In a mere moment you feel that heat stoke to an inferno, blazing from your stomach to cause your feet to kick out, water sloshing over the side of the tub as you ride out each passing wave of paradise crying openly into his mouth.
When your trembling does subside, he kisses your cheek and pulls you up from the water, wrapping you up in his arms. His stare remains ever burning, pupils blown to a coal black, dreamy in the way he slinks back just to drink you in further. You can’t keep track of all of the places his eyes seem to dart, which touch to settle on and relish as he paws at you from chest to rear, as if mesmerized that you are no mere illusion.
You’re giving him everything; no longer the king of simply a beating organ tucked beneath your breast, but your body, bed, wherever he chooses to conquer next, of all the things that he’s been deprived of.
“We will go to bed, beloved,” he rasps, sounding more present than ever. The nightmares lurking behind his eyes have long past now: all focus is turned to you. You’re the only thing that’s ever loved him in return. “We will… become one.”
“Have you ever…” Your own voice fails you now, the evident want between you two incapable of making this any less… tedious. It was tedious, a flighty feathered thing that seems keen on slipping out of your grasp at any moment. If it were to be his first, surely it should be special, somehow, someway. If it were not… you dreaded that thought, a bitter envy sours on your tongue until it’s shaken off.
“No,” he states simply, shrugging.
Though a sense of relief seems to flood you at that, you dare not show it. You will take him to your bed, climb atop him and show him how these things work, a slow sort of love and the rest could wait.
It was foolish to believe that König would settle for such a thing, wild and only temporarily tamed by your sweetness: he is entirely different the moment you’re herded into the bedroom. The desperation of his touches has faded out entirely, replaced with what feels almost like a rage.
He wouldn’t take out humanities sins on you, no, but he would years of brutal neglect have left him starved and it just so happens that you’re an outlet for it, something to feed from by way of spilling his soul and his seed all into you, taken back with the kisses and praises that would surely come after this union.
You’re unceremoniously pushed onto the bed, lying at your side as he climbs in behind you. He whispers his requests into your hair, even as his hand wraps to pull your thigh up before you can bless him with a nod in response. He struggles for a moment, parting your labia with the obscene, ridiculous thing that hangs between his legs. It drags over you in repetition, oiled like the clock cogs before the head of his cock finally finds the opening his finger explored only minutes earlier.
You almost expect him to break you right then, force you to take what your body— no body- had surely been made for, but he only thrusts the tip inside and gives you some time to adjust, roll your hips down centimeter by agonizing centimeter.
“You are… Does it hurt you..?” His voice is a breathless pant, trying to hold himself together despite the daze he’s found himself in, buried not even three inches into your cunt.
“No… you can move,” you breathe out, eyelids fluttering as you tilt you head to look at him over your shoulder.
König clings to you as he sinks further, grasping at your waist to pull your further down, sharp breaths hissed between gritting teeth as he delights in the way your womanhood grips at his shaft.
Just as before, there’s no rhythm to him, he takes the sounds that leave you as a direction, huffing into your ear words that your mind could not hope to translate. There’s an indulgence to it, shared between you both as his hand curls tighter against your thigh, spread open and accepting of the brutal pace he takes to have just a taste of what it feels to be a normal man.
His words falter at a point, when you feel your body tightening around him, sucking him in, closer, nearer as your head lolls back. The inferno from before pales in comparison to the blaze that overtakes you now, his voice strained with bliss as you begin to moan for him. With each drag and soar of his cock spearing you open, you’re only brought further to a glimpse of Eden. If this were the fall of man, you find you couldn’t question Eve for relishing in it.
“… you gave me a name,” he rasps, “A home…”
All at once that glimmer of heaven crashes down around you, bathes you in the glow of something lofty and holy as he pulls you close and drives himself to the hilt within you. The throbbing and pulsing of his length pulls you over just as his seed spills within, drips thick and flooding as your own sex drools in tandem, sharing a perfect rapture both clandestine and sacred. He gives you another generous thrust, ensuring that he’s carved a space inside no other man could ever hope to fill.
You fret when you find him weeping, quiet tears rolling down his pale cheeks to spill over your shoulder, but the gentle smile on his face is pacifying as you twist around to face him. “And now you have my love.”
“I’ll cherish it,” he murmurs, voice broken and pitiful as you’re maneuvered upward to rest against the feather-stuffed pillows against the headboard.
You curl against him, head resting on his chest, an arm draped over his waist. He takes your hand into his own, appraising it like the first time you properly met. Hands of a maker. Your mind wanders to significance in that statement, the things that needn’t be told are finding ways to curtain you anyhow when he speaks again.
“Could you fix me?” He asks, tracing over the calluses on your fingertips, still bathing in the afterglow.
The question, though you felt it coming, still hurts to hear him speak it: breathing life into a thought that should have never existed to begin with.
“There’s nothing to fix.” Though you speak true, though you know he feels your sincerity, his eyes are heavy when he looks to you again. “Why would you ask me that?”
The story that he tells you then is one of horror. From his maker down to the things he’s done, seen, felt: hated from the moment he woke into this strange world, the horrible loneliness that pushed and bedded down inside of him like acceptance never would. The people that he’s throttled in some desire to finally have someone like him; men, women, it made no difference. All of it is bared with only one message eternally prevalent: he has only ever wanted to be loved.
In truth, he was a monster. Not because he was given the instinctual urge to be, but because it was all he knew. Gnashing teeth from demons hurling that word out with every stone they threw, every shot and stab at his heart.
You listen, despite the way it hurts, pull him a little closer when he ends his tale with your meeting, how he knew you were the only blessing he would ever receive in his lifetime— however long that may be.
You were good at fixing broken things, but König never needed to be fixed. Only found.
———
“Now you’re supposed to say it,” you hum, as his hands reach to the hem of the hood— his- covering your face. They rove beneath the fabric, curling against the skin of your cheeks, tracing small patterns there, some rotations like the clocks, others the childish hearts scribbled into books.
“I vow to take you as my wife.”
“You’re bad at this.” You giggle when he does finally push the cloth up past your nose, above your eyes and further until it’s pulled back like a veil.
“I will love you endlessly,” he continues, returning your noise of elation with a huffed laugh of his own. “I already do.”
“I love you, too.”
No one in town would ever properly marry you two, not if one look could make a weak man fall to his knees in horror, but here, beneath the roof of a home once echoing the same voice that haunts him… it was good enough. The moon seems to echo your vows with dancing rays, stars twinkling in approval as the calls of night birds carry through the open window.
There are no rings, no written formalities to be stored away with dust-ridden papers, preyed upon by mites. It’s far more sacred, genuine than the flippant affairs and arrangements that go on with those that would so readily cast the both of you aside. In truth— the thought of them rarely comes; doesn’t even rile up that intense fear inside of you any longer.
Everything only seems easier with the blooming garden outdoors, and the man who gazes upon you like he sees divinity itself behind your eyes, in the softness of your flesh.
When you kiss, it’s something from a fairytale, flowers strewn at your feet and the veil removed from your hair by a gentle hand.
Eden doesn’t seem so much like a memory lost to time, after all.
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There Are Limits
Pete "Maverick" Mitchell x F!Reader
Summary: Maverick's new female friend brings out your spiteful nature. And seeing you with a new man is harder on Maverick than he'd like to admit.
CW: age gap, student/instructor dynamic, swearing, drinking, and did someone say bring on the angst?? Because you know I can deliver..
WC: 4000+
This is Part 5 in the There Are Rules universe.
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“Captain?”
Maverick looks up when you step into his office. He’s sitting on the edge of his desk and there’s a woman standing between his legs, so close, she might as well be in his lap. When you enter, she steps away half-heartedly, looking slightly annoyed that her conversation with Maverick has been cut short.
Maverick’s cheeky grin falters when he sees you, and he clears his throat as he hops off his desk.
“Lieutenant,” he says. “How can I help you?”
You stare at him in shock, not sure how to react. The last several weeks haven’t been easy; in fact, you and Maverick have barely spoken since your mutual decision to terminate your romantic relationship. But seeing him with another woman is a whole new level of difficult.
“Lieutenant?” he says, lifting his eyebrows worriedly. He doesn’t bother to introduce his companion, with whom he is obviously very familiar.
You swallow around the lump in your throat and exhale slowly. Maverick isn’t the only expert in self-regulation. It’s a skill that’s proven quite useful, if not invaluable, during your tenure in the navy. And, although it’s always come naturally to you, recent events have seen that you receive plenty of practice. “Sir,” you say promptly, saluting Maverick in an entirely professional manner, as if you’ve never even had his tongue down your throat. “It’s about next week’s squadron dinner,” you say.
It's true that you meant to speak about the dinner – about how you were planning on skipping it to avoid an ever vigilant Cyclone who's been watching both you and Maverick like a hawk. Moreover, the less you see of Maverick these days, the better.
But the scene before you has severely shifted the trajectory of your plans. And the next thing that comes out of your mouth is hideously unrehearsed. “I was wondering if we were allowed a plus one,” you blurt out, your eyes darting pointedly between Maverick and his female friend.
Maverick stares at you mutely, as though it’s taking him a minute to process your request. “You want to bring a date?” he then asks, his eyes widening and subsequently narrowing in a matter of milliseconds.
You feel like you might sweat right through your uniform with the way he’s staring you down, but you stand your ground defiantly. “If I may,” you respond unemotionally; the way you’d address any other superior.
Maverick nods slowly, glancing at the woman who’s currently rifling through some papers on his desk. You ignore how comfortable she seems in his office, like she’s been here plenty of times before. “I don’t see that being a problem,” he says. “Who’s the lucky…?” His voice trails off and he lets out a nervous laugh. “Should be fun,” he finishes, giving you a wide, artificial-looking grin.
You smile back at him. “I agree.”
“Boyfriend,” Maverick says, his eyebrows shooting upward for a moment before he checks himself and pulls at the collar of his jacket as if it’s suddenly an uncomfortable fit.
You try not to acknowledge his reaction and instead introduce your date to some of your squadron mates. You’re not sure why Sam has decided to put a label on your relationship at this exact moment, but you’re not going to argue semantics in front of the one person you wouldn’t mind buying into this spectacle.
“It’s new,” you hear Sam blurt out, presumably cowering under the scrutiny of Maverick’s gaze.
You make a point not to look Maverick in the eye because you’re still upset about walking in on him last week when he was clearly otherwise engaged. But when Sam walks ahead, busy conversing with the other aviators, you feel a finger brush gently over the back of your hand. You pull both hands behind your back and square your shoulders to face your instructor.
Maverick is watching you solemnly. “This is good,” he whispers, although the tilt of his eyebrows says otherwise.
You can’t express how much it hurts to hear him referring to this situation as good, and yet, you nod, grinning rigidly. “It is,” you say, pausing to give him an opportunity to come clean about his own blossoming relationship.
But Maverick does nothing of the sort. Maverick is as unreadable as ever.
You’re about to walk away when the woman you’d seen in Maverick’s office appears from behind him. She nudges him on the shoulder to get his attention and shoots him a brilliant smile.
Maverick gives her a polite nod before turning back to you. “Lieutenant,” he says. “I’d like to introduce you to an old friend of mine.”
The woman beams at you and holds out her hand. “I’m Charlie,” she says.
You shake her hand and return her smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Charlie,” you say. “Are you an instructor at Top Gun as well?”
She chuckles, throwing Maverick a flirty glance. “Not for a while,” she responds, looking back at you. “Not since this one made me rethink that particular career choice.”
Maverick drops his head with a laugh. “Sorry about that, by the way,” he says.
Charlie shakes her head. “Don’t be,” she replies. “It all worked out.”
Maverick nods, looking at her affectionately. “Charlie went on to bigger and better things. And by bigger, I mean she went on to design rockets.”
“Wow,” you say, both impressed and jealous of the woman who seems to hold a special place in Maverick’s heart.
“And look at how far you’ve come,” Charlie says to Maverick.
Maverick grimaces. “I’m right back where I started,” he remarks. “Full circle.”
“You’re right back where you’re meant to be,” she says earnestly. “And I’m proud of you.”
Maverick shifts his weight uncomfortably, hooking his thumbs through the belt loops of his jeans. “We better grab a seat before Cyclone has an aneurysm,” he says.
You turn to see Cyclone watching the three of you with an irked expression from the table reserved for your group at the restaurant. He shakes his head ominously as you make your way toward the others. When the three of you arrive at the table, he mutters, “How gracious of you to join us.”
Maverick glances at him with a slight smirk but doesn’t say a word while Charlie lets out a small chuckle, taking her place beside Maverick at the table.
You lower yourself into the seat next to Sam, right across from Maverick and Charlie. Cyclone is sitting to Maverick’s right, aggressively perusing the menu.
“I hear the fish tacos are good here,” Maverick notes when Cyclone lays his menu down on the table in frustration.
Cyclone gives him a sour look. “Not a fish person,” he responds tartly.
You stifle a laugh, exchanging glances with Charlie, who is also snickering.
“There are non-fish tacos as well,” Maverick points out.
Cyclone nods grumpily. “Yes, I saw the entire section devoted to the various tacos they serve. I can read.”
Maverick bites the side of his lip to contain a grin. “Enchiladas,” he continues quietly, as if to himself. “Quesadillas, chiles rellenos…”
“I want a burger,” Cyclone declares, flipping through the menu anew.
Maverick shoots you an amused glance. “Let’s start with drinks,” he suggests, sliding a draft beer menu in front of his superior.
“Good idea.” Cyclone sighs theatrically, rolling his shoulders to loosen some tension.
“Hey, d’you want to share a couple of dishes?” Sam offers, tapping you on the arm to get your attention.
You glance over at him quickly, having almost forgotten he was there. “Sure.” You nod enthusiastically, even though it’s the last thing you would ever think to do.
Once all the drinks and food arrive, and you and Sam awkwardly try to allocate your respective shares of the dinner, Charlie pipes in. “How long have you two been together?” she asks, gesturing at you and Sam.
“It’s new,” Sam, the self-proclaimed boyfriend who has yet to work up the nerve to even kiss you, reiterates quickly while you chew on a quesadilla.
You wipe your mouth with a napkin before confirming, “Not long.”
Maverick’s eyes rest on you for a split second before he returns his attention to the ceviche in his bowl.
Meanwhile, Cyclone regards you with a dubious expression. “Where did you meet?” he asks gruffly.
“Through some friends,” Sam responds excitedly, as though it’s the most fascinating fact of the evening.
You take another bite of quesadilla and avoid looking directly at any of the three people sitting before you.
But Maverick cuts the silence short. “Is it serious?” he asks, and both you and Cyclone shoot him threatening glances. Charlie looks up from her plate, trying to interpret yours and Cyclone’s abrupt reactions.
Sam, meanwhile, is smiling blissfully to himself as he pokes at the contents of his fajita before rolling it up. “I’d say it has some potential of getting there,” he says.
You nearly choke on a pepper upon seeing Maverick’s expression transform from mild amusement to unequivocal displeasure. His jaw muscles contract as he forcefully stabs at his dinner with a fork.
Sam clears his throat nervously and speaks in a noticeably higher pitch, “Of course, I can’t predict the future.”
You roll your eyes and put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “It’s none of his business, anyway,” you say.
To Maverick’s left, you see Charlie’s jaw drop slightly in her shock at your informal – bordering on impolite – addition to the conversation with your superior officer.
Cyclone chuckles quietly, finally appeased by your interaction with Maverick. “At last, something we can all agree on.”
Maverick smiles politely. “I was just making small talk,” he says, laying his fork down without finishing his meal.
Cyclone gives him a flat look and leans forward to address his friend. “Charlie, how long are you in town?”
While Charlie and Cyclone engage in conversation, Maverick catches your gaze inquisitively, as if he’s trying to figure you out. His eyes are so penetrating, you feel like he can see right through you. He must know that your relationship with Sam isn’t even close to being serious. He must know that you’re probably going to break it off that very evening. He must know you only brought him because you were hurt and you wanted to hurt him back. Because Maverick has reconnected with someone of significance and is involved in something meaningful.
You tear your gaze away from him irritably. You’re about done letting Maverick stir up your emotions without so much as saying a word. You’re about done caring for a man who’s done nothing but cause you pain.
You rise from your seat and excuse yourself, heading for the bathroom near the back of the restaurant. No sooner do you break through the door, than you collapse onto the nearest sink and break down. You don’t even care that your mascara is leaving streaks down your cheeks, or that the tears are clouding your vision. You don’t even care that your hands are gripping the basin so tightly that your fingers are cramping.
You glance up at your reflection in the mirror; pathetic. How did you let yourself fall this far? This hard? This fast? You run the tap and dab some cool water on your skin, patting at the trails of makeup that your crying spell has left behind.
You take a deep breath, staring at your glistening face with a scowl, preparing yourself for the remainder of the evening. But just as you make your way for the door, it opens, and Maverick enters.
You jerk back in surprise, despite his history of showing up in places he isn’t supposed to be.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
You panic. He knows. He knows that you ran away to cry. And this makes you furious. “I’m fine,” you respond curtly. “You shouldn’t be in here,” you add, gesturing to the door behind him.
He pulls his eyebrows together like he isn’t quite convinced. “You’re not okay,” he says.
You grit your teeth in anger. He can’t just ignore you for weeks and then try to comfort you like he gives a shit about your feelings. “Why are you here, Maverick?”
Maverick presses his lips into a thin line and breathes out steadily. “I was worried about you.”
You scoff resentfully. “Don’t be.”
Maverick sighs and lowers his head. “I can’t help it.”
You attempt to keep your voice even despite all the shaking your body is doing. “You better go, Captain,” you say spitefully. “Before Cyclone finds us. Or Charlie.”
He watches you soberly. “You asked me to stay,” he reminds you.
You stare wistfully into his eyes. He’s right, of course. You’re the reason he’s still here. Your relationship with him has been strained but civil since the incident on the carrier. There has been a mutual effort to avoid unnecessary encounters, and an unspoken understanding that, while romance is out of the question, it will take some time for both of you to move on completely. Obviously, you did not expect him to move on by moving in on someone new. Or old, in the case of Charlie, because the two of them go way back, apparently.
You struggle to remember why you’d wanted this – wanted him to stay despite knowing that nothing would ever come of it. In the moment, you were desperate not to lose him. But watching him carry on as though nothing ever happened between the two of you is absolute torture. You’d rather not witness just how little you actually meant to him.
You shrug. “Error in judgement, I guess,” you respond coldly, echoing his words from the night Cyclone had caught the two of you in the parking lot of the Hard Deck.
Maverick nods. “Been there,” he says pensively before turning to walk out. Just before he does, however, he glances back at you and adds, “I’ll wait out here until you’re ready.”
“Don’t,” you say.
Maverick meets your gaze with a weary look. “I’m not leaving.”
“What’s Cyclone going to think when the two of us come back together from the bathroom?”
Maverick shrugs. “I have no control over what Cyclone thinks.”
“What’s Charlie going to think?”
Maverick pauses in the doorway. “What’s Sam going to think?”
You roll your eyes. “He won’t even notice.”
Maverick watches you quietly for a moment, then says. “I doubt that very much.”
You lick your lips as a fresh round of tears threatens to obscure your eyesight. The fact that Sam isn’t here to check on you but Maverick is has not escaped you. “Go, please,” you whisper.
Maverick wavers slightly on the spot and, after a brief interval, holds his hand out to you. You glance down at it hesitantly as your stomach flips violently at the though of touching him again. Clearly, you’re angry with him, but the part of you that loves him always wins.
Slowly, you step forward and place your hand in his. He pulls you in the moment you make contact, wrapping his arms around you as he releases the door to the bathroom. He lets his face drop, pressing his mouth to the top of your head.
After a prolonged – mostly silent – embrace, you detach yourself from his arms and give him a nod. “I’m ready,” you say.
Maverick nods back without a word and then opens the door for you.
It’s past midnight when you hear the knocking, followed by some irregular footsteps and a string of quiet – but still audible – curse words. After a moment of hesitation, you unlock the door.
“Captain?”
Maverick is standing in the corridor before you, although calling it ‘standing’ might be a bit of a stretch. He’s not exactly stable on his feet.
You glance up and down the hallway to make sure that no one has seen him. “What are you doing here?”
Maverick is watching you with a squared jaw, as though he means to keep the purpose of his visit to himself. He breathes his frustration out through his nose before veering right into the doorframe.
“Sir!” you exclaim, grabbing a hold of his arm like you might have any chance of keeping him upright were he to topple over.
“Sir?” he murmurs, and you could smell the liquor on his breath. He catches your gaze now that you’re closer and, in another moment, his eyes begin to slip down your face before they finally close. “I told you,” he says, his mouth twitching as he grimaces. He pushes past you into the room.
You quickly close the door behind him, hoping nobody heard the commotion. Praying he’ll have the sense to keep his voice down.
But Maverick, it seems, isn’t nearly as concerned as you are about disturbing your neighbors. He rounds on you with a resentful expression and shakes his head. “I knew this would happen.”
You blink at him in confusion. “What?” you say. “What happened?”
“You happened,” Maverick says defeatedly. He takes a step toward you, his eyes flitting between yours as if he’s checking to see if you can relate.
But it’s a weekday and you had just drifted off to sleep when he’d started drumming on your door, so you’re not exactly following. You furrow your eyebrows. “I happened to what?” you ask.
Maverick watches you miserably, taking a step back now, as though he can’t decide which is worse: being closer or farther away from the source of all his troubles. “You two make a fine pair,” he manages to say, but not without a break in his voice.
You purse your lips, looking away from him. You’re not going to comfort a man who’s standing in his own way. After all, it was his decision not to be with you. Besides, Maverick brought his own date to the dinner, so you aren’t feeling overly sympathetic.
Maverick tears his gaze away from you and smacks a hand over his face. “What am I doing here, Lieutenant?”
It’s a fair question, to be sure; one you wouldn’t mind knowing the answer to, yourself. But you’re more immediately concerned about the consequences of Maverick’s unsanctioned visit to your quarters than the reasons behind it. “Maverick, it’s the middle of the night,” you say, shocked at how firm you sound despite the tremor travelling through you.
Maverick’s eyebrows converge and he shifts his jaw as his eyes well up with tears. “Yeah,” he whispers, nodding slowly.
“And you’re drunk,” you add when he takes a step toward you again.
“I am,” he admits, still in a whisper.
You ignore the stutter of your heart as he nears. “You can’t be here,” you warn.
He watches you wretchedly, giving his head a subtle shake. “I can’t,” he agrees.
You can hardly breathe when he finally stops before you, his soft eyes trailing down your face. His hand is coasting up the side of your neck before you even know what’s happening, and by the time his fingertips are hovering at the nape of your neck, you’re so lost in his gaze, it’s a miracle you’re still standing. Unsurprisingly, you aren’t in the state of mind to respond.
“I lied,” he says with a slight rasp despite the effort he’s exerting to steady his voice. “I think he’s terrible for you.”
You blink at him, taken aback. “Excuse me?”
“Sam,” he says. “He’s not the one.”
You pride yourself on your patience and understanding, even in trying circumstances; you’re not an unreasonable person by any means. But even you have limits. And, tonight, Maverick is testing every last one. “Are you the one?”
Maverick stares at you, his eyes swimming. Slowly, he shakes his head. “No, I’m not.”
You breathe out forcefully, astonished at his audacity. There is only so much you can let this man get away with. “Then, respectfully, shut the fuck up,” you hiss, pushing past him aggressively. You whip around sharply and point at the door. “Get out.”
The following afternoon in the briefing room, Maverick reviews the morning's flight footage with barely a look in your direction. He doesn’t even comment on the impulsive maneuver you pulled that left your partner confused and resulted in an uncoordinated hustle to regain momentum, costing your team valuable seconds that could have ended in tragedy were it a real dogfight.
Once the briefing is finished and the room begins to clear out, Maverick approaches your desk. “Can I have a minute, Lieutenant?” he asks in a subdued sort of tone.
You glance up at him grudgingly but don’t respond until the last of the pilots have left the room. “Is it about the Cobra Climb?” you ask monotonously.
“What?” He quirks his head in confusion before briefly closing his eyes and shaking his head. “No,” he says, and then adds, more emphatically, “No.” He lets out a heavy sigh and lifts a leg over the chair in front of your desk, sitting on it backwards to face you. “I want to apologize to you.”
You groan. “Not again.”
Maverick steals a glance at the door, ensuring that the two of you are still alone, and then he lays a hand over yours on the desk. “I’m sorry about last night. Showing up at your place – less than sober.” Maverick lowers his gaze with a disappointed frown. “I – I had no right. I have no right,” he says, looking back up at you. His eyes flit between yours imploringly, burdened with all the guilt he carries.
“Stop,” you say assertively, pulling your hand out from under his grasp. You can’t listen to another word. This entire relationship has been a series of failures in self-control, each one a ‘mistake’ in Maverick’s eyes for which he subsequently has taken full responsibility. You rise from your seat and gather your things mutely.
“Y/N,” he says hoarsely, standing up after you.
You shake your head. “I don’t need another apology, sir,” you say bitterly. “I just need some space.”
Maverick nods. “Of course,” he says. “And I’ve been denying you that – and I apologize –”
“I said, stop!” you exclaim, shooting him a threatening look.
Maverick trails you as you make your way to the door – the exact opposite of your request. You rush out of the briefing room, and he follows, not far behind. Thankfully, there’s no one in the hallway because he’s behaving irrationally, to say the least. He reaches for your arm and pulls you around to face him.
You gulp, staggering the moment you meet his gaze, the aching in his eyes undermining your determination.
“Let me finish,” he pleads in a whisper.
You exhale sharply. “Finish, then.”
Maverick slowly lets his hand fall away from your arm now that you’re no longer a flight risk and, this alone, hurts, because you want him to hold you forever. Even when you’re fuming, even when you’re yelling, even when you hate him.
“Seeing you,” he says slowly, evenly, as though he’s trying to compose himself as he’s talking. He takes a breath and tries again. “With another man –”
“Come on.” You scoff, even though your heart is already buzzing at the thrill of making Maverick jealous. “You can’t expect me to not date –”
“I don’t expect that,” he says. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
You think about the way you felt seeing him with Charlie and you’re instantly sorry for causing him that much pain, regardless of whether it was intentional or not.
“I was angry,” he says quietly. “At myself, mostly…” he trails off, moving his head to the side and lowering his gaze. “But also at you. And I blamed you for the way you make me feel.” He pulls his bottom lip under his teeth and grimaces. “But that’s not your fault,” he whispers shakily. “That’s on me.”
You bite into your lip to keep it steady. You wish you could look away because the devastation on his face is undoing you, but you aren’t strong enough. You take a step back and take a shuddering breath. “Please don’t look at me like that,” you say, your voice unsteady. You can barely get a grasp on his words because you’re too absorbed in his eyes.
Maverick’s eyebrows lift inward, as if your request has him concerned – or confused. “Like what?”
You roll your eyes – as if he doesn’t know like what. “Like that!” you respond as he takes a step toward you in alarm. “Just stop!” You sigh in frustration, unable to articulate your thoughts because his eyes are still commanding all of your attention.
“Where am I supposed to look?” he asks, agitated.
“It’s the way you’re looking at me,” you explain angrily.
“Are you listening to what I’m saying?” he asks urgently. “I need you to hear me.”
You shut your eyes and shake your head. “Enough, Maverick!” you exclaim.
Maverick stills immediately, watching you uneasily.
“You’ve been tiptoeing around me, treating me like I’m injured or in need of assistance –”
“I’m not –”
“You are and I’m tired of it. Why didn’t you call me out on the Cobra Climb?”
Maverick stares at you like you’re unhinged. “You want me to reprimand you?”
You let out a heavy sigh. “If you’re going to be my instructor – just my instructor – then instruct me. It was an idiot move and I shouldn’t have done it.”
“You were distracted –”
“You’re making excuses for me! Why?”
“Don’t question my teaching methods,” Maverick says in a low voice.
You scoff, shaking your head. “You’re afraid of confrontation so you’ve been avoiding me. You didn’t even think to give me a heads up about Charlie!”
Maverick narrows his eyes. “What about Charlie?”
“Whatever,” you grumble. “Just don’t stand here and proclaim that my bringing a date to the squadron dinner somehow threw you for a loop.”
Maverick studies you silently so you boldly meet his gaze. His jaw is set but there’s a tenderness in his eyes that nearly draws you in.
“Stop coddling me,” you say firmly.
You watch his Adam’s apple rise then fall as he gulps down whatever retort he decides to keep to himself. His jaw muscles contract once more as his eyes settle over your face.
You tear your gaze away. “And quit looking at me like you…” You sigh, unsure how to describe the inimitable combination of exasperation and affection you see in his eyes.
“Like what?” he asks, his voice rising in volume. You can tell that he’s becoming increasingly defensive as your blows continue.
You’re annoyed that he’s annoyed and you blurt the words out before you can stop yourself. “Like you’re in love with me or –”
“I CAN’T LOOK AT YOU ANY OTHER WAY!” he roars.
You freeze. Stunned by the volume of his voice. Stunned by the emphatic delivery. Stunned at his words.
He turns away in a huff, placing one hand on his hip while the other is balled up into a fist at his mouth.
“This was your idea,” you say quietly as he slowly turns back to look at you. You aren’t the one who refuses to even try, and he needs to acknowledge that.
“I know,” he whispers, his eyes brimming with tears.
You clench your teeth to keep your mouth from trembling. “Then stop,” you implore.
He shakes his head, pulling his lips into a rigid line. “I don’t know how.”
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murdrdocs · 9 months
Text
ENJOY THE SILENCE. sejanus plinth
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description. being tasked with placating sejanus plinth by doctor gaul seems like an impossible feat. turns out all it takes to be successful was revealing your true feelings.
includes. SMUT 18+, dialogue heavy, slightly manipulative!reader, capitol!reader, oral (m receiving), snowballing, sejanus typical angst. title from enjoy the silence by depeche mode
wc: 6.4k+
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By the time your fist meets the thick wood of Sejanus Plinth’s bedroom door, you’ve started to lose your way. 
Somewhere along the line of you walking from the Academy to the Plinth residence, entering the home by invitation of Ma Plinth, eating her sweets while listening to the woman speak about how worried she was about her son, and finally walking down the hall to his bedroom, you’ve almost forgotten why you’re here in the first place. 
But forgetting would be too good to be true. How could you forget about how you were summoned into an empty classroom by Doctor Gaul, staring into her unnerving eyes as she praised you for what you could be, and barely what you are now? 
At the time, you instantly wanted to protest the task of going to the Plinth residence to seek out a certain outspoken boy who didn’t realize his privilege. But one glare from over her nose put you in your place, and you begrudgingly left the Academy to come here.
It’s not that you disliked Sejanus. You felt the opposite, mostly. You were definitely not one of the other Academy students who preferred to make his life hell since you all were eight. But there wasn’t much you had in common with the boy, no mutual connections that pulled you in each other’s orbit save for a few shared classes and a handful of projects. 
It was natural for you to question Gaul on why you had to be the one to do it. And as if it was natural, too, she shrugged, examined the walls of the Academy, and told you, “You have the potential to do something great. Prove yourself to me and surely I can find a guaranteed spot for you at the University.” 
It barely made any sense to you—how getting Sejanus Plinth to stop speaking his mind could prove your potential to be a great student at the University. But you were desperate, your future so close and within reach. You didn’t want to jeopardize it before it began. 
So as soon as classes ended, you grabbed your things, called off the driver, and walked to the Plinth residence where you hoped to prevent Sejanus Plinth from becoming a problem. 
Your three knocks against the door taper off to silence, which makes the shuffling on the other side even more prominent. Sejanus doesn’t ask who it is, likely assuming the visitor to be his mother or father, and not one of his classmates who was only an acquaintance. He yells out an invitation to enter and you push the handle down, allowing the door to swing open before taking a step inside. 
You don’t get much of a look at Sejanus’ bedroom. Only enough to notice that it’s a typical Capitol room with minimal personalizations. Deep gray walls, white crown molding around the ceilings, light brown hardwood flooring. A picture of the mountains not far from the Capitol sits above a large desk across the room, and a window on each side of the wood lets in the natural light from outside. On the left wall sits a large four poster bed with a cushioned back. 
And resting atop it is Sejanus. He stares off at the wall across from him, looking at nothing as it��s bare. But when you don’t speak, his eyes look over at the door. At you. 
Your lips pull into a tight smile, you fold your hands behind your back. 
“Oh.” Sejanus sits up a little straighter. “I didn’t know you were here.” You know he means no harm by it, but his words come out a little detached. A little rude. He seems to sense it immediately as he licks his lips and invites you in. 
You aren’t sure whether you should leave the door open or shut it behind you. Ultimately, you decide to return it to the state it was in before you arrived, not letting up until you hear and feel the latch click into place.
Sejanus uncrosses his feet at the ankles as you approach him. He’s still wearing his uniform just as you are, but the blazer and the outer skirt are removed. You notice them sitting at the foot of his bed. His relaxed nature makes you feel better about peeling your blazer off. 
You fold it in half and set it beside his which is thrown on the duvet without any precision, red material hanging off of the edge with one side showing the outside and the other showing the interior. 
“What’re you doing here?” This time, his tone is of pure curiosity, lacking any possible negative connotations. It makes you feel better and you sit at the edge of his bed not far from him. The size of the furniture makes you feel further than you are. 
“Um…” You take a second. Why are you here? Because Doctor Gaul sent you? Telling him that would do nothing but align yourself with the others. It would make your visit seem hostile. Like you’re here to threaten him, and not to warn him. 
You clear your throat. “I’m here to check on you.” You hadn’t noticed the suspicion in Sejanus’ eyes until it’s gone and replaced with neutrality. 
“Oh.” 
You nod once. 
“You seemed really upset in class earlier today. When Gaul came to visit.” Sejanus tenses up at the mention of the head gamemaker. His eyes shift to the otherside of the room, his jaw tightens, and you’re really thankful that you hadn’t directly associated yourself with the woman. 
“And I just wanted to see how you were doing.” 
Sejanus doesn’t look at you again for a second. Then, he shrugs, wringing his hands together in his lap as his brown eyes find you once more. 
“I’m okay. As okay as I could be.” With the way he says it, it makes you scoot a little closer to him. Enough for a friendly distance, but Sejanus still glances down at your thighs briefly. 
“Your tribute. You knew him, right? Back in District Two?” It takes you a second, but you add: “Back home.” 
That seems to soften Sejanus a little more. He flattens his hands onto the rogue of his trousers. 
(His thighs look exceptional in the material. You don’t think anyone else quite fills the pants out like he does. Except maybe Festus Creed but his sour attitude squashes any possible attraction you could have towards him. Attraction … are you attracted to Sejanus?)
Sejanus speaking pulls you from your muddled inner dialogue. 
“Yeah. We were classmates before we moved here.” 
You’re not faking it when you tell him. “That’s awful, Sejanus.” 
Your sincerity has a better effect than something planned could have. Sejanus’ shoulders lose their tension. He knocks his head back against the cushioned material of his headboard, closing his eyes as he takes a deep breath. “Yeah.”
He doesn’t speak and neither do you. But eventually, you can’t sit in the silence for much longer. 
“You can tell me about it … if you want.” 
Sejanus peels one eye open and he stares at you for a second, maybe trying to decide if you’re serious. And you’re doing the same. Are you telling him this because you want him to feel safe with you? Even then, are your intentions pure? 
There’s no point in dwelling on it more because Sejanus scoots over in a wordless invitation, a gesture that is more of a formality than anything else since you could have easily fit beside him without movement. Either way, you slide up to Sejanus’ side and when you do, you sit a little too close to him. But you decide it would have been rude to scoot further away so you stay put. 
That’s the only reason. 
Not because sitting this close to Sejanus makes you feel giddy inside and you like how he smells (clean is the best way to put it, with the gentle aroma of baked goods wafting off of his clothes and it’s no wonder where that aspect comes from). 
Sejanus begins with telling you of his time back in District Two. He tells you about the Plinth family status, above the baseline of citizens in Two, but he was still well liked throughout his home. He tells you about moving, how alone he felt when he was younger. How alone he still feels,  and you lay it on thick when you tell him he isn’t alone. Not when he has you. 
Sejanus has reasons to dispute you. It’s not like you’ve gone out of your way to defend him against your cruel classmates. You barely do anything, occasionally slipping in a comment against one of them that was truly for your own benefit if anything. Up until now, the only thing you’ve done to show Sejanus Plinth that he isn’t completely hated in the Capitol has been treating him with the same kindness you gave to others.
But he doesn’t say anything. Anything at all. 
You start to consider that you’ve fucked everything up. You’ve failed Doctor Gaul and she would condemn you and kick you out of the mentorship program before you’ve even had a real shot at proving yourself. 
The thing that stops your spiraling thoughts is Sejanus’ hand atop of yours. You still, unsure on what to do. But then you turn your hand over, letting your palms kiss before they intertwine, and you feel the warmth of his hand. It’s comforting. 
You turn your head to look directly at Sejanus instead of out into his room, surprised to see him already looking at you. 
“Thank you.” You watch his lips as he speaks, completely missing the sincerity swimming in his eyes until you flick your gaze up to them. 
You can’t help but think about how soft his lips looked as you lick your own, completely forgetting about the previously meticulously applied lipgloss. 
“For what?” 
Sejanus begins dragging his thumb across the skin of your hand. It’s incredibly distracting. 
“For everything.” 
“I haven’t done anything.” 
He smiles, soft and teasing and gentle and you’re starting to admit that Sejanus Plinth is really cute. 
“That’s exactly what I mean.” 
You think about all of those times you could’ve done something. When you could have joined in on poking fun at the Plinth family. When you could’ve condemned their efforts to fit in, and also their efforts to keep their district practices alive, all in one breath.
Had you not joined in because you were better than that? Better than them. Or had you kept to yourself because you felt sorry for him? 
The boy, born district and forced to move to the Capitol. Now unwanted by both groups. Trying his best to blend in and stick to himself, even though his moral beliefs obviously prevented him from completely assimilating. 
Maybe you didn’t feel sorry for him. Not when he had a life like this. A lavish home full of luxury goods. A father with power that could rival the oldest standing families in the Capitol, yours included. And slightly less important, a mother who kept even the rarest of guests satisfied with her goods. 
Your standings on your feelings for Sejanus Plinth become more confusing whenever you find yourself gravitating forward towards his lips. You don’t notice you’re doing it until you can feel his breath against yours. Your lips are so close, just one hair of a movement and they would be touching, but you stop. 
“Is this …” The question hangs unfinished in the air. You have intentions to finish it. At least you think you do, but Sejanus’ free hand cups your cheek and he closes the gap. 
Kissing Sejanus Plinth is gentle, to put it simply. His lips move tentatively against yours as if he doesn’t have much experience doing this and you’re not surprised. Personal endeavors spread across the Academy faster than rabies spread throughout the Capitol during the Dark Days, and if Sejanus Plinth was hooking up with someone you would have known by the next morning. 
His perceived lack of experience makes you more confident. It makes you press your lips harder against Sejanus, taking the lead as you start to encouragingly move your lips against his. Your lipgloss rubs off, you can feel it as Sejanus’ lips gain more slip to them with each movement. It aids in the kiss becoming messier, that and your combined enthusiasm. 
You scoot even closer to him, your legs blindly bumping into each other. Yet, you’re not close enough. You quickly want more of him. You need more of him. 
He tastes like his mothers treats, the sweet tang of pie on his tongue melding with the same taste on yours. You savored the pastry from Mrs. Plinth earlier in the day, taking your time to enjoy every single bite and taste the flavors in all of their glory. With Sejanus, you take and take without consideration of savoring. He tastes so good, having your body pressed up against his like this feels so good, and you can’t get enough. 
You must gorge yourself until you’ve had your fill. But you fear that your limit may never come, that you’ll be thoroughly addicted to Sejanus Plinth and nothing will ever fill the void. 
This worries you for a second, but then Sejanus is un-intertwining his hand away from yours and instead using his palm to press into your lower back. 
Just this one touch is enough to dizzy you and once more, you forget why you’re here. Why you’re in the Plinth residence, sitting in Sejanus’ bed, still wearing your Academy uniform. 
It’s not until Sejanus pulls away for a full breath of air that you remember. Staring into deep brown pits that you could easily lose yourself in, you’re reminded of the singular brown eye belonging to Doctor Gaul. They don’t have any similarities besides the base color. Sejanus’ eyes are uniform, for starters, and full of warmth.
Still, you remember, and concern strikes through your body for a second. When you move away from Sejanus, you can see the sadness in his eyes. 
You ignore how it upsets you. 
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” 
Sejanus still has his hands on you, and you’re not sure if you’re thankful for that or not. 
“Why not? Do you regret it?” He speaks as if he’s afraid of the answer. So you bless him with the truth. 
“No. I don’t.” You stare down at your nails, everything swirling inside of you confusing you. You have no direction of where to go from here. This part wasn’t planned. So you stick with the part that was. 
“It’s just … I don’t want you to think that’s why I came here.” The hand he has on your cheek leaves but the one at your back stays. 
“I thought you came here to check on me.” 
You look up at Sejanus and he seems a little standoffish. His eyes are a little bit harsh, maybe concealing hurt. But his hand is still at your lower back and you take that as a good sign. 
“I did! But I also came here to warn you.” His eyebrows furrow, but he doesn’t say anything so you continue. “The Capitol is dangerous, Sejanus. They’ll do anything to protect themselves.” Why’re you telling him this? Despite its true nature, your words made you seem like you don’t support your government. The one created to protect you. And why’re you speaking to him as if you’re not Capitol. You’re proud of your heritage, but something about sitting in Sejanus’ room, your body this close to his, makes you want to briefly leave it all behind. 
Maybe it’s because you want Sejanus to believe you. Yes, you need to speak like someone from the districts so the district-born boy will believe you. That’s all. 
“And I know you’re just speaking your mind, which is great. But Sejanus … if you continue and you say something particularly harmful to the government, they could hurt you.” 
There’s a beat. A moment of silence where Sejanus considers your words. His eyes search your face, they drop to his lap, and then they find you again. “I appreciate the concern,” he says your name, letting it hang out in the air for a moment before continuing. “But I’ll be fine.” 
He might be fine, but if he goes back to mentoring tomorrow and says something treasonous, you won’t be. Easily, Gaul could determine you unfit, unable to do as simple of a task such as pacifying your classmate. 
It’s a risk you can’t take. 
You sigh, shuffling closer to Sejanus and cupping his face in both of your hands. You sit on your heels at this point, knees digging into the mattress right beside Sejanus’ thigh, creating a hole in the soft bedding. 
Sejanus’ head is tilted up, allowing the light to meet his cheeks and eyes. He looks innocent like this, just a young boy who doesn’t realize what he’s saying. You hope if he were to continue challenging the ideals of the Capitol, then others would see him as you do now. Maybe without the lust starting to cloud your mind. 
“Just please, Sejanus, please make an effort.” Then, exaggerating the situation a little more, you bat your eyelashes and pout a little as you beg, “for me?” 
That does it. Sejanus’ eyes glaze over a little, as if tears are gathering in them. But he blinks and they clear up. 
He nods, turning his head to the side so he can press a kiss into the palm of your hand. His hands wrap around your wrists, he slides them up your arms and around your back where he encloses your waist with his arms. 
“Okay.” 
And this time, you’re aware of yourself surging forward to press your lips against Sejanus’. 
At first, you tell yourself you’re doing it to complete your empty confession. Nothing but tying a pretty and large bow on top of your hard work. But then, when Sejanus pulls you closer into a hug, and you trail your hands to the back of his head as he starts kissing you with an open mouth, you realize that you’re kissing Sejanus because you want to. 
Because he’s attractive and sweet and unlike anyone else around you. He’s a breath of fresh air, despite his troubles that sometimes constrict your airflow with the stress his actions cause you and others. 
It all seems worth it when Sejanus pulls up the back of your button up shirt and presses his hand flat against your back. His palm is warm, and just the single touch of skin on skin ignites something deep in you. 
You spread your legs more from where you’re straddling him until you’re sitting on his lap instead of holding yourself up on your knees. There’s many layers between you both, your pleated overskirt a notable one that causes trouble, but you can still feel Sejanus through it all. His thighs thick and comfortable, a slight tent in his trousers that’s surely just his dick existing in a flaccid state. You grind against him once, one firm and fluid push and pull motion of your hips, and Sejanus cants his hips up into yours. You’re sure it won’t take much to get him hard. 
To put your theory to test, you grind down onto Sejanus again, and he’s quickly groaning, pulling away from your lips to knock his forehead against yours as his hand digs into your hip. You don’t bother hiding your smile, Sejanus’ eyes are closed anyway. 
You use the time to run your hands along the sides of his head, fingers tickling along the short hairs at the sides. Sejanus is silent, taking steady breaths, and it’s then that the weight of the situation dawns on you. 
Surely Doctor Gaul didn’t have this in mind when she sent you to the Plinth house. Yet, her words ring throughout your otherwise empty head. 
“Your classmate, Mr. Plinth. He’s going to be a problem. Stop him while he’s ahead.” 
And when you dared to question her on why you had to be the one to do it, and not another student like Coriolanus Snow for example, she glared at you. Her back seemingly got straighter, the chip on her shoulder grew to double its original size. 
“Don’t you want a spot at the University? Prove yourself to me here, and surely your application can be boosted to the right people, a few good words whispered in their ears. That is if you succeed. Placate him. Put a pink pacifier in his mouth and a bonnet on his head for all I care just shut him up.” 
Her words were stern, absolutely no room for argument, which is why you packed your things up and accepted your fate. But here, like this, is this how you’re going to placate Sejanus Plinth?
Is this a means to get him to trust you? To keep his mouth shut on matters of the Capitol? Or do you really want this?
Sejanus’ hands slide down your sides and settle right above your ass. You can’t help but wish they would go just a little further down. 
His touch is sturdy and strong. You feel comfortable in his hands. 
“We don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to,” you tell him, your words soft spoken and almost vulnerable. You curse yourself for them, but Sejanus doesn’t seem to latch onto the tone. He doesn’t use your moment of vulnerability  to his advantage, like predator to prey. 
Instead, he opens his eyes and looks up at you. 
“I would like to continue. If you feel the same.”
You use your hands at the side of his head to push his visage back, latching your lips onto his gratefully.  
From there, things move fairly fast. 
You make quick work of your button up, pushing the buttons out of the slits so you can peel the shirt off all together. It’s thrown behind you, likely to end at the foot of the bed along with your outwear. 
You don’t want to stop kissing Sejanus, but you let him pull away when you realize he wants to look at you. You're wearing a shirt, just a thin fitted camisole, but Sejanus still drinks in the sight anyway. 
His eyes, a little lidded yet no less interested in your presence, graze over your décolletage. When you realize he’s content with just staring, you latch your hands onto the hem of the camisole and peel it over your head, exposing your plain black bra, the final layer of your top half. 
Sejanus takes a deep breath, you both hear it and see it, and only when he has returned to his normal breathing pattern does he speak. 
“May I?” 
You nod, sitting up a little straighter as Sejanus’ hands trail up from your ass to the back of your bra. You expect him to struggle for a second, maybe fumble around and pull the back in the wrong direction once or twice. 
But in one motion Sejanus has your bra unclasped and he’s pulling it off of your shoulders. 
He palaces the garment gently beside you both, far enough away to not disturb you in the meantime. 
You briefly step off of Sejanus to pull your trousers off, and Sejanus does the same once his shirt is off. Yet he removes his pants with slight difficulty. He’s too eager, he forgets to undo the button at first, and then the pants get caught at his feet. But eventually, there is a matching set of Academy rogue uniforms at the foot of Sejanus’ bed, and you’re sitting atop of him once more, playing with his hair while he blatantly stares at your tits. 
“You can look and touch, Sejanus,” you tell him, voice light and a little giggly. Sejanus laughs a little at himself, raising a hand and resting it on your breast. He’s stiff at first, and you’re about to open your mouth and tell him what to do, but then he’s rubbing his thumb over your nipple before rolling it in between his fingers and you’re stunned. You sigh gratefully, hands resting on his shoulders as your eyes flutter shut. 
You let him continue fondling your breast, already desperately desiring more, and that feeling only multiplies whenever Sejanus latches his lips onto your pert nipple. He could do anything to you right now and you would melt. You would have never guessed that Sejanus Plinth of all people could have this effect on you. 
He has you frantically grinding your cunt against his boxers. He has you whining at basically no stimulation, both satisfied with what you’re being given and also calling for more. He has you eagerly pushing your panties to the side to allow your cunt to catch the cotton fabric without anything in the way. 
Sejanus unlatches from your nipple at this, staring down at you with weathered breaths. You think you can hear him swear, but you can’t really hear anything through the thick haze already settling in your mind. The one that drives you to get what you want, no matter what’s required of you to get it. 
When he licks around your nipple one more time, you see it, Sejanus’ eyes big and full of wonder, no hatred or sadness in them. Maybe he is being placated. 
You want Sejanus. It’s something you admit to yourself briefly, not letting the thought sit in your brain long enough for you to feel any emotion attached to it. At least, not any real emotions as the only thing you can feel is a desire to bond with Sejanus in a way you’ll never be able to take back. 
As you’re guiding his hand down to your center, you consider it, how things would be after this occurrence with Sejanus. Did it mean more to him than it did to you? Did it mean anything to you?
Sejanus’ pointer and ring finger glide along your panties and any other thoughts you have rushing through your brain leaves, replacing with a chant of more, more, more. 
You stare down at him with what you’re sure is hunger in your eyes. Your forehead knocks against Sejanus’ as he circles your clit, and you can’t help but wonder how he’d found it so easily, only fumbling once before he made contact. 
Maybe Sejanus is more experienced than you thought. 
He’s preparing you, circling your clit long enough for your cunt to start leaking, creating a steadily growing patch in your panties. But, you’re impatient. 
Your fingers roll down the waistband of Sejanus’ boxers enough to free his cock, unable to hold back the embarrassingly comical face you make. You can feel it in the way your features contort, and you can see it with the way Sejanus looks up at you, amusement in his brown eyes and a big grin taking over his usually stoic face. 
All he says is “yeah”, his free hand cupping your cheek while his other hand starts to pump two fingers in and out of you. He’s a little cocky about it, at least that’s how you read it. You’re missing the slight insecurity that lays across his face. 
You would tell Sejanus that you’re unsure about taking all of him, but your refusal to admit defeat prevents you from uttering the confession. Instead, you shuffle down his body without breaking eye contact, momentarily mourning the loss of his thick fingers inside of you before you focus on your new task. 
“Can I suck you off?” 
He stares at you, hesitating, blinking a few times, and you figure it’s just taking a second for him to process. You spend the time gliding your nails down his abdomen, scraping the perfected ends in the hair under his navel that leads to his cock. You go further down, raking the red manicure through the (thankfully) trimmed hair at the base of his cock. 
It’s when your hand hesitates right above Sejanus’ cock that he responds. 
His answer is quick, curt, and simple, even though he stutters through it the first time. 
You smile and settle yourself between his thighs completely, circling your hand around the end of him. You try not to let his girth intimidate you, instead you spend a few moments shamelessly ogling at his—admittedly pretty—cock before getting in the position you’ve become fairly accustomed to in your final semester at the Academy. 
He’s big, bigger than anyone else you’ve been with thus far, and uncut. Impressive in a nice combination of length and girth, although he’s slightly wider than he is long. You don’t know if the width making up for the length will have any difference when he will  inevitably stretch out your mouth. 
You relax your jaw and stick your tongue out a little to prepare to rest his weight along the muscle. Just the first touch of his tip against your tongue makes Sejanus gasp a little. It’s small, and if the room wasn’t as silent as it is maybe you wouldn’t have heard. 
But you did. 
You let your eyes flicker up towards him as you lick around his tip, laying your tongue flat and gliding it over his slit. 
Sejanus’ hands grip the sheets beside his hips, which flex a little as if he’s about to fully sheath all of him inside of you at once. You don’t bother hiding the smirk that spreads across your lips when he notices he doesn’t. 
“So obedient,” you murmur, perhaps for him to hear, too. Either way, Sejanus hums and nods. 
His eyes flutter shut, dark lashes somehow prominent even against his tan skin and in the steadily lowering light in the bedroom. With his chest rising and falling, and his curls falling over his forehead, he looks pretty. 
Sejanus Plinth has always been pretty. You find no shame in admitting it. 
You briefly tear your eyes away from one pretty sight to another. There’s a trail of almost clear fluid running form from Sejanus’ tip, glistening along the side of him. You follow it with your eyes for one second, and then let your tongue follow the same path. 
You don’t focus much on the flavor, it’s not your main focus at all currently. Instead, you focus on the pleasure that takes over Sejanus’ being. 
This time, he lets his hands find your head, a large palm cupping the side with the tips of his fingers digging into your hair. You expect him to push you further down like men in the past have, but he doesn’t. His hand doesn’t do anything at all. 
It’s an unfamiliar feeling, being treated this fragile. You don’t know if you like it or not but you also decide not to focus on it at all. 
There’s nothing to focus on other than Sejanus. 
Having cleaned him up a little, you wrap your lips around his tip with intentions to make more of a mess. You sink down on him slowly, trying to pace yourself, but it’s hard whenever Sejanus is making such pretty noises above you. 
Small whines that get trapped in his throat, transforming into something that sounds more similar to a groan. When you look at him, you see his eyes heavy lidded, almost closed, as he stares down at you. His heavy eyebrows create a shadow that makes his gaze look intimidating. Briefly, you see Sejanus for what he could be perhaps with time, a man who’s tough and takes what he wants. It’s wishful thinking that Sejanus Plinth could become like this, but you can easily see yourself with a man like that, completely comfortable with the familiar go-getter attitude of the Capitol. 
Really, Sejanus Plinth is the opposite, a man who works towards what he wants out of desire to do good. 
His hand strokes your cheek and he nods. 
“You’re so good at this. Please, keep going.” 
You didn’t even know you needed it, but the encouragement from Sejanus makes you breathe through your nose a little more pointedly as you take the final bit of him that you can fit. 
It’s not all—you don’t know if you could fit all of Sejanus without training—but for your first time it’s enough. 
You let your mouth hang open to allow any remnants of saliva to drizzle down the rest of Sejanus, gathering it in your fist and using the lubrication to comfortably stroke the rest of Sejanus’ length. 
It takes you a little while to get in a rhythm. You forcibly control your gag reflex and breathe through your nose but even then, with each movement down and up, you feel like you’re choking on Sejanus’ cock. 
You pull off of him after only a few moments, taking the time to swallow and breathe without controlling it. He lets you take your time, not a single complaint leaving his lips as he patiently waits for your lips to find him once more. 
You continue to suck Sejanus off, now needing some attention yourself. You fix the way you’re sitting to spread your legs enough to position the heel of your foot against your cunt. It’s slightly uncomfortable, your foot a little too hard for your delicate center, but it thoroughly gets the job done as your eyes flutter shut when you feel the friction. 
You hollow your cheeks, swirling your tongue around the tip of Sejanus before sinking back down on him. He groans, low and deep in his chest. His head falls back and thuds against the padded headboard. His legs lift at the knee for a second, before they meet the mattress once more. And finally, the hand on your head gains pressure. He pushes you down a little, not nearly enough weight for you to have to fight against, more like a calm encouragement. 
One you take confidently, sinking yourself all the way down and removing your hand from the base of Sejanus’ cock. You can’t stay like this for long, your throat is already threatening to seize up, but you slink your hand down to Sejanus’ balls, fondle and massage them in your hand for long enough, and then he’s digging his hand into your scalp and gripping for dear life. 
He grunts through gritted teeth, his hands get tighter in your hair, and you realize that he’s trying to pull you off of him. 
“I’m close,” he says your name urgently, “you gotta get off. ‘M gonna…” 
His hips twitch up towards you, you swear you feel his cock twitch, too, and then Sejanus spurts warm cum straight down your throat. 
You slide off of Sejanus, letting his cum trickle down along the way, freeing most of it from your mouth. Sejanus watches. He licks his lips just before you do the same to yours, and you’re quick to lean up before you swallow the rest of him. 
His hand still hasn’t left your hair, so he just slides it down to the side of your neck as your lips meet in the middle. 
The kiss is hot, to put it simply. Sejanus’ other hand is on your lower back, then your breast, then your ass, before finding a home between your thighs. He presses his tongue against yours, not caring about the remnants of his cum on your muscle. In fact, he licks around your mouth, running his tongue at the back of your teeth for good measure. 
By the time you pull away, you figure that after he’s shot a load right onto your tongue and then licked it off, Sejanus would be done. You expected him to kiss your cheeks and maybe offer a glass of water like the gentleman he is.  
But instead, Sejanus stares up at you with wide eyes, lacking any sign of exhaustion. “Can I…” he starts then stops, glancing down at where you’re still straddling his softening cock. His fingers start to run up and down your cunt. 
He starts again. “Can I make you feel good, too?” 
His questions shocks you a little. Yeah, you didn’t cum, but you didn’t expect Sejanus to focus on that. Besides, that’s not why you’re here. Or, it’s not why you’ve done what you did. You gave Sejanus head because you expected him to be in a sex haze after that, maybe believing he was linked to you in a way that would demand he abided by your pleas. 
(At least, that’s what you reason with yourself)
At this point, if you let him get you off, it would be just a bit of fun. You’re tempted to say yes, your lips forming the simple word, but just then you tell him: 
“You don’t have to.” 
Sejanus’ eyebrows furrow. “But I want to.” 
God, it’s becoming harder and harder for you to say no. 
“Not today, Sej,” you hope the nickname (that you’ve never said before nor have you ever heard anyone call him that) would make him give in. “It’s getting late and I have to get home and … your parents, they should be home soon, too, right?” 
His face deflates and once more, you briefly feel bad. Guilt weighs on your shoulders. Fear that you’d just missed out on something that will never come your way again settles behind your eyes. He removes his hand.
He nods, rubbing his lips together before nodding again. “Yes. Yeah. Okay. I understand.” 
It’s not long after that you’re standing at the Plinth front door, one hand on the knob and the other holding your bag. 
Sejanus stands in front of you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Despite your previous rejections, his face still has a different glow to it now, taking over the previous shadow that resided on his features whenever you arrived earlier. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” 
The way he says it is full of expectancy, like you’re a thing now. It’s odd that your smile is genuine.  
“Yeah.” 
You take a step closer to him. “And think about what we talked about okay?” Before I sucked your dick, you resist adding. “I don’t want you getting hurt.” 
Sejanus smiles softly, takes a step forward, staring down at you with something like amusement in his eyes. As if he’s pleased by you caring about him. 
“Okay. I will.” As he reassures you, he leans in until your lips are pressed together a final time. You don’t want to leave the kiss, letting your hands rest on his shoulders as his rest on your lower back. 
He pulls back, his features all around a little softer. 
“Promise?” you ask. 
“Promise,” he confirms. 
For some reason, you don’t believe him.
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ashleyrowanthewriter · 3 months
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The Sign for Gold Is Ugly - Chapter 1
Next
*************
It began as a routine blood test. Goldie was impatiently rocking in her chair and flapping her tail that was beginning to grow while Dr. Erian was reading her card. From time to time he was glancing at his patient only to return to reading the card. Finally he put it down on his desk.
“I have some good news and some bad news,” said Dr. Erian.
“Some good news? What about?” asked Goldie.
“The good news is that your levels of calcitonin have finally reached the level that allows you to be legally deemed a merfolk,” said Dr. Erian.
Hearing the diagnosis Goldie became ecstatic. She threw her hands in the air and squealed through a toothy grin.
“That’s so great!” Goldie said. “What do I need to sign?”
“Not so fast,” said Dr. Erian. “I know how exciting that might sound, but you still have some paperwork not done.”
Goldie stopped her excited rocking and looked at Dr. Erian.
“What do you mean paperwork?” Goldie was shocked. “I have everything covered! Your psychiatric approval, the two year life test and even the single status certificate! And you just said that I have perfect hormone levels! What else would I need?”
“Well, you seem to have forgotten about the Mermaid Sign Language certificate, didn’t you?” said Dr. Erian
Goldie looked as if she heard about it for the first time.
“That’s a requirement?” asked Goldie. “Last time I checked it was just advice!”
“Times change quickly when you do animal HRT,” said Dr. Erian.
“How quickly are we speaking exactly?”
“I guess 30 months is a long time, isn’t it? From the beginning of it all to now.”
“But don’t they say that law doesn’t work backwards?”
“It doesn't. You haven’t started your legal procedure so you still don’t transition using the old system.”
Goldie wanted to protest, but she ran out of arguments. She just crossed her hands and frowned. Dr. Erian looked for something inside the drawer of his desk.
“Try going to her,” Dr. Erian told Goldie. “My other patients say that they achieve great results with her.”
Saying that Dr. Erian pulled out a flyer from his desk. Goldie read it with curiosity. In the picture there was a human woman and a beautiful mermaid with a gorgeous lingcod tail. They were raising their right hands and spreading their fingers. The description read Dr. Rowan’s Merslan School - For transitioners and translators.
Goldie thought that maybe she could try. Not that she particularly trusted Erian’s claims of satisfied patients. She simply saw no better alternative.
It was Goldie’s first class at Dr. Rowan’s school. She looked around the classroom looking at all the fellow students. Some were early into their transition, some were in a similar stage to her and some already had to be using wheelchairs thanks to their progress. All of them gathered in that room in a common goal to learn that one peculiar skill that the law found mandatory for them. For a moment it gathered up some self esteem in Goldie. If so many people were trying to do it then for sure Goldie could do it.
The door opened and one more person went in. A tall woman holding a briefcase. She stood before the class, raised her right hand and spread her fingers. The class repeated her movements. Goldie was confused, but she made the sign as well. She was waiting for the woman to sit down with the rest of the class, but then she started speaking.
“Alright, good morning, class! It is delightful to see you all. I am Dr. Rowan, but you might already know that. I am excited about teaching you and I hope you’re excited about learning with me.”
Goldie couldn’t believe what she heard. She took out the flyer from Dr. Erian, looking at it and at her teacher. There was no doubt. It was the human from the picture. It was strange for Goldie. She was almost sure that the teacher should be some kind of mermaid. Wasn’t there a mermaid on the flyer? Was that just a student? But it was only natural to think otherwise. Assumptions are indeed a powerful light that can blind its wielder.
The first lesson was feeling longer and longer and slower and slower. As much as she wanted to, she understood very little of whatever Dr. Rowan tried to teach her class. Goldie wanted the class to end. She wanted to once again understand what her senses were registering. Sure, she caught the meaning of maybe five signs, but she completely missed about fifteen others.
Near the end of the lesson Dr. Rowan finally said something that Goldie could understand.
“Now, one more thing before we finish. As you might have guessed, the names used in the Mermaid Language are not names you may be familiar with from English.After all there is no real way of communicating them through its signs. Instead you can choose any sign you’d like to!”
Finally Goldie caught something and found it cool.
“So I want you to think about whatever word you’d like to use as your name and tell me next week,” said Dr. Rowan. “I’ll show you how to show it. And… That’s all for today!”
Of course Goldie already knew what sign she wanted to use. So while her classmates were leaving the class she instead went to Dr. Rowan.
“Excuse me, what if I already have a word I want to use?” asked Goldie.
Dr. Rowan smiled. “I’ll show you then. What should it be?”
“Gold,” said Goldie. “Well… It might have been kind of obvious,” she added and chuckled.
“Alright, it’s easy. Look,” said Dr. Rowan.
The teacher closed her left eye and brought her right hand to her right eye. She then brought her thumb, index and middle finger together.
“Like this,” said Dr. Rowan.
Goldie mimicked her movements. She found the sign disappointing. She kind of hoped it would be more beautiful.
In her house Goldie was practising her name in front of a mirror. Or something along the lines. She had very mixed feelings about it. Her sister, Kayla, who just came to visit Goldie, noticed her lost in the mirror.
“Did something happen?” asked Kayla.
“The sign for gold is ugly,” said Goldie, still lost in her practice.
Kayla remembered that Goldie told her about trying to learn the Mermaid language. It was the first time she saw her sister practising and she saw that she did not have a fun time.
“Trouble learning?” Kayla asked.
“No kidding,” said Goldie. “Once I remember some sign I forget it immediately.”
“Don’t worry, you’re gonna be great at it someday,” said Kayla.
“It would be nice,” said Goldie. “But I guess this is my hell.”
Goldie returned to training signs. Kayla stood behind her and looked at Goldie’s reflection. She was still attempting to practise.
Kayla moved her sight to her own reflection. She was on her way to transition into a bat, but she didn’t know how far she would want to push her transition. She already had a lot of bat traits that she loved. Cute fur, wings beginning to sprout, sensitive ears… Kayla focused on her ears. They were really sensitive. In loud environments they were really hurting her. She sometimes needed to wear silencers.
And maybe that was the way to give Goldie some motivation and faith…
“You know…,” Kayla said. “Sometimes I do wish to be able to turn my hearing off.”
“Don’t you have silencers?” asked Goldie.
“Yes, but… I can’t talk if I can’t hear,” said Kayla. “I would like to learn some sign language. Maybe you could teach me?”
At first Goldie thought that she could help Kayla a bit. After all, who was she not to help her own sister? But then she noticed the possible hidden intentions.
“Is that supposed to make me want to study harder?” said Goldie.
“Maybe,” said Kayla.
Goldie sighed and laughed.
“Alright, sis!” Goldie said. “I can’t promise anything, but whatever I get I’ll try to teach you.”
“Thank you!” said Kayla. “Maybe you’ll manage to actually pick stuff up easier!”
“Yeah,” said Goldie. “Let’s hope so.”
*************
Yup, I am writing a fanfic of the Furry HRT universe. I wanted to come back to the idea. And write a story about aspiring mermaids learning sign language. As you might have guessed the main character is going to be @welldrawnfish. Also @kaylasartwork is going to be featured. I hope they like it!
EDIT: Thought I actually should link to Goldie's fish story and Kayla's bat story. Whoopsies...
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holylulusworld · 29 days
Text
Darkness and Sunshine (2)
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Summary: Bucky hurt you deeply. Can he make amends?
@buckybarnesevents „Hot Bucky Summer 2024”: Week 13: Free Week
Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader
Warnings: angst, hurt reader, BBF trope, attentively Bucky, flirting, fluff
Catch up here: Darkness and Sunshine
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“You will keep your hands off my sister.” It’s the first time you’ve heard your brother yell at his friend and business partner. “You had your chance and hurt her. Stop coming up with more excuses for your poor life choices. Y/N had nothing to do with any of it. You wanted her to come with me all the time, only to break her heart.”
Your brother is panting. No man ever got away with insulting James Buchanan Barnes. Most of the people didn’t even get the chance to confront him face-to-face.
“Y/B/N, I’m telling you this as a friend. Stop right now. I had my reasons to push your sister away. I know it was wrong, but I had to keep her out of my life and my business.” Bucky balls his metal hand into a fist and slams it onto the desk at his office. “I let you get away with talking like that to me because you love your sister. But that is enough.”
Your brother huffs. “Do you think I care?” He replies. “We have been friends all my life, but hurting my sister was one step too far. I’m telling you one last time to leave her alone!”
Bucky steps closer to your brother, making you flinch. You are sitting on the sofa in his office, watching the two most important men in your life fight because of you.
“Please stop,” your voice cracks, seeing your brother so mad at his friend. “It’s my fault, Y/B/N. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with your friend. Let’s just go home, and I’ll never come back here.”
Turning his head like in slow motion, his lips curved into a grin, Bucky looks at you sitting on his sofa. “You love me?”
“Barnes.” your brother raises his voice to catch Bucky’s attention. “Don’t you dare to even think about it! I won’t allow you to hurt my sister again.”
Bucky rolls his eyes at your brother’s words. He understands that Y/B/N tries to protect you, but he’s too stubborn to admit that your brother has all the right to be mad at him.
“I won’t hurt her, Y/B/N. You know, all I did was protect her. It was you asking me to protect her at all costs,” Bucky snaps at your brother, making you frown. Your brother never told you that Bucky agreed to protect you.
“As if I’ll trust you with her ever again, Buck,” your brother bites back. “You have no clue what love is or how to make a woman stay. All you ever did was change your girlfriends like other men change their underwear.”
“So... every four or five days,” you giggle because both men stare at you. “What?” You shrug. “I once read an article about how often men change their underwear.”
Your brother can see the twinkle in your ear. You hold back a chuckle before bursting into laughter. “Okay, it was on Reddit, and I asked the crowd. My ex didn’t change his underwear daily, and I was wondering if that was normal.”
“What a pig!” Bucky scrunches up his nose. He retches while looking at your brother. “Punk, don’t tell me you do the same thing.”
“Hey, don’t look at me. The ladies like a clean lower area,” your brother grumbles under his breath. 
“Lower area?” You laugh even harder. “Y/B/N, you know that you can call it dick in front of me, right? I have seen one or two in my life.”
Bucky’s features darken. The thought of someone else touching you makes him furious. Deep down inside, Bucky knows that he’s got no right to feel like this. Well, he had the chance to ask you out more than once over the years. He always came up with excuses, only to watch another man hold your hand.
“Y/N, be a doll and leave me and your brother alone for a while. Please.” Bucky’s voice softens when talking to you. “How about you get a snack or a beverage?”
“No,” you harrumph, and you cross your arms over your chest. “Why would I do that? I won’t let you or my brother decide what to do with my life. You know what? I’ll leave you alone and go home.”
You get up from the couch and walk straight toward the door. Even if Bucky regrets all the things he said that night, they still echo in the back of your mind. You’re too hurt to just sit there and listen to them make decisions for you.
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Bucky and your brother didn’t part on good terms. Your brother told his friend to stay away from you, while Bucky refused to give in. Seeing you with John Walker woke something more than his protective side. 
“Doll, open the door. It’s me, Bucky. Your brother and I talked things out. Y/B/N sees now that he cannot stop me from dating you.”
“Dating me?” You angrily say this and open your door. He swallows thickly when you glare at him. You’re always friendly and a ray of sunshine. But today you give him not only the cold shoulder but the stinky eye too.
“You made it clear that you’d never date me, Mr. Barnes. Even if my date with John wasn’t successful, I decided to go out with other men more often. I should try to find a man who won’t act like a fool to keep me safe.”
Bucky leans against your doorframe, watching you stand your ground against him. He’s impressed you didn’t melt in his arms or give him that sweet smile he hasn’t seen since he made the stupidest mistake of his life.
“Doll…” He sighs when you pull away the moment he tries to touch your hand. “What if I invite you for dinner in Paris or let me buy you this pretty dress you told Tasha about?”
You pout and look away. “Your money and shiny things won’t make up for what you did to me. Whatever you do, you can’t buy my love.”
Bucky nods. He can see the change in you and doesn’t like it. What he always loved about you was your optimism and the fact that you’re a ray of sunshine. Now you look sad most of the time he’s around.  The powerful man dips his head to glance inside your apartment. For so many years, he has known you and your brother without entering your place a single time. 
He furrows his brows, thinking hard to come up with a new plan. The private plane waiting for departure won’t impress you, and neither will the gifts he bought for you.
“I thought about a walk in the park,” he says, instead of offering the diamond necklace he bought for you this morning. “The weather is nice, and I’d hate to go alone. Please come with me, Y/N. We can have some ice cream later.“
A walk in the park and ice cream. This sounds like a normal date. Even though you never know when it comes to James Buchanan Barnes. 
“Please don’t leave me hanging.”
“No catch?” You question, quirking a brow.
“No catch,” he says, offering a smile and his hand. “I swear on my sister’s life, doll. I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
You place your hand in his before you say, “I’ll keep you up on that promise, Bucky.” 
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Tags in reblog.
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jeonginsleftcheek · 4 months
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Cupid's Shot🩷
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pairing: lee felix x reader
genre: fluff, angst, slow burn
word count: 10.4k
description: what happens when Cupid breaks the rules and falls in love with a mortal?
warning/s: there are suggestive parts so mdni! not proofread!
a/n: here i go again with another felix fic and i'm really proud of it, except i feel like the ending is rushed but i had to write it twice cause i accidentally didn't save it the first time jddkdll
but anyways there will be a second part to this, with smut. it will be a continuation on this main fic but could also be read as its own thing.
please reblog if you like it!🩷
Their purpose is simple: bring two destined souls together by helping them get rid of their fears and insecurities, assist them to find the happiness they deserve, the love they would nurture with their soul mate.
Contrary to popular belief and the information in many books, there isn't only one Cupid, there is a whole nation of them, living in another realm, invisible to the eyes of the mortals, but they can see everything. Including the mortals auras, souls and their destined lovers.
The only rule they have to abide by is to not fall in love with a mortal. None of them really questioned it, they're just beings of light, existing to fulfill their purpose, until they disperse into little particles of shiny dust, disappearing into The Great Source Of Light.
They would get their assigned charges and do everything they can to cross them off the list after they manage to finally match them with their loved one.
Felix often wondered about a lot of things, like why was he born a Cupid, was he even born and where he actually came from if he wasn't. He wondered what The Great Source Of Light actually is and where it would take him after he fulfilled his duties. He wondered why wasn't he allowed to fall in love when love was so soft, warm and fuzzy. Wasn't love the ultimate goal? Was this some kind of punishment because of what he did in a past life; to be a mere messenger of love but never be able to experience it?
Ofcourse, he never dared to say anything like that out loud for the fear of what would happen if he did. He's never actually seen any punishments or violence happening in his little world, everything was cheerful and perfect, the Cupids worked and flew around with blushing cheeks and smiles painted on their faces; never complaining, never tiring. But he didn't want to risk it, or seem like he is defying the natural order of things, he is only curious.
Felix gets a scroll with names of his new charges, and he opens up the paper. Scanning over the names as they shine in a white-ish glow off the paper, something calls to him. His eyes flick around until they land on your name. Something inside him blooms, chimes and explodes in little fireworks. He chants your name in his head. It's time to find you. His eyes close and he focuses on your aura. Mixes of purples and blues swirl behind his closed eyelids and he can feel it closer, smell the sweet flowery scent with a hint of petrichor in it.
He opens his eyes and he's transported, his eyes meeting yours but ofcourse you don't see him. Your chin is resting on your palms, elbows perched on the table as you stare a hole into the computer screen in front of you. Felix quickly takes note of the surroundings, the clacking sounds, telephones ringing and chatter in the distance. He's in an office building, and you're sitting in your cubicle, your hair neatly tied and face devoid of any emotions. But he can see your aura, it's swirling and wilding around your frame, painting pretty designs around you. He thinks he's never seen something as beautiful as you are.
"Y/n!"- someone slams a stack of papers on your desk, startling both you and your Cupid, making him float back a little as he observes you.
"These papers need to be finished today."- the woman says, a malicious undertone in her voice.
"B-but it's almost six. I've worked overtime and-"
"It's not my fault you're slow. Next time work during lunch."- the woman turns around, leaving like it's none of her business.
Felix sees you immediately slump in your chair, the pretty blues and purples of your aura dimming down a little as you grip the papers and start going through them. Cupids weren't supposed to feel bad feelings like anger or envy or anything of that sort but Felix somehow felt annoyed at the woman, and moreover he felt bad for you. He wished he could help you get home faster somehow, but he knows he shouldn't meddle into anything except your soul mate.
Speaking of soul mates, as soon as Felix came down from his realm to yours, he couldn't feel another soul that's supposed to be binded to you. That was unusual but not impossible, sometimes charges had their hearts closed off and the Cupids had to try and open up their hearts first before actually connecting them with love.
He dismissed it for now and focused on you, trying to send you a lovely boost of energy so you don't feel too bad. You were tired and stressed, sick od being mistreated at work, seen as less than. There is a lump forming in your throat and tears threating to spill down your cheeks as you keep working. Suddenly, you feel relief, like someone untied the knot inside your chest and you take a deep breath in and somehow feel more energetic to keep working.
It's already past 9pm when you're done and you're beyond exhausted. All you want right now is a nice shower, a warm bowl of noodles and your bed. Felix observes as you tidy your desk and he follows you when you leave the building to your car. The walk through the empty dark parking lot is eerie and Felix can sense the fear creeping up inside you so he floats a little closer to you, his pink soft wings almost touching you. Not that you would feel it even if they did.
Your apartment is small, but it's cozy and clean and it smells like you, like your aura. It makes Felix's senses fuzzy, something he never experienced before. He looks around the living room full of plants you obviously love taking care of, pictures of you and your friends and family, little knick knacks you collect. He does a full turn and comes face to face with you, in your bra and he panics and scrambles away, almost flying into your lamp. The lamp swings ever so slightly and Felix is not sure how his wings have effect on anything physical in this world because they usually don't. He turns away from you giving you your privacy, waiting for you to leave to the bathroom.
When you do, he slowly flies back closer to the lamp and tries to touch it but his hand goes right through it. It was nothing, he sighs, relief washing over him. He keeps looking around, gathering information about his charge so he knows how to help you open up your heart and find love. Some kind of weird feeling washes over him shortly but he shakes it off. You come out of the bathroom, thankfully in your pjs which look adorable on you, Felix thinks as he smiles and watches you.
After your quiet dinner, you get ready for sleep and crawl into your bed, finally relieved to be in your safe space where no one can harm you. Felix ofcourse doesn't want to intrude and be around while you sleep, at least not yet, not when it's to early to enter your dreams. He turns around to fly out, back to his realm but a sniffle stops him. He stays still and listens, another sniffle coming from under your blanket.
A pang hits his chest when he realizes you're crying. He turns back to you and floats closer, the closer he gets, the more pain in his chest he feels. Why is it like this? Felix has always felt emotions of his charges to a certain degree but never this intense. It's almost unbearable to him and he struggles to come closer to you. He tries anyways, shining a little light he made inside his palms to look at you, but you're in the dark and can't see it. But he sees you and you look completely shattered as tears stream down your cheeks, eyes already red from crying. Your lips quiver, your aura fades more into gray and Felix feels what you feel.
He feels used and abandoned, ridiculed and lonely, unloveable. The feelings are so strong that they force him back away from you, tossing him into the wardrobe behind him, making the door rattle. You gasp and scramble into a sitting position, turning on the lamp beside your bed as fast as you can. You swallow in sudden fear as you look around but nothing's there. Felix is still, he's looking at you and he feels so bad that he scared you, especially while you were in a vunerable state. He still has no idea how he managed to make the door rattle or the lamp swing but that scares him too even though he didn't even feel any pain from the impact.
You shake your head and lay back down, turning the lamp off and wiping your tears away. Felix slowly floats towards the window, cautious not to touch or knock anything down. He looks at you one more time before he shimmers himself back into his realm.
"Have you ever moved a physical item in the earth realm?"- Felix whispers to his coworker and friend, Hyunjin, one of the Cupids he was close to.
"What?"- Hyunjin looks at him, his pink lips pouty and eyebrows furrowed in thought.
"Like... like have you ever accidentally made a lamp swing or a door rattle?"- he tries again and Hyunjin chuckles at his friend.
"Did you hit your head somewhere, Lix? We literally can't touch anything, we're not made from the same stuff earth beings and their things are made of."- Hyunjin says, closing his scroll and looking at Felix again.
"Yeah, yeah I know. It was just a stupid question."- Felix says quickly.
"Are you sure?"- Hyunjin squints his eyes at him.
"Yeah, positive. Don't worry about it."- Felix smiles in hopes to get the other Cupid to not ask any further questions since Cupids weren't really capable of lying.
"Eh, alright."- Hyunjin shrugs, opening up his scroll again and Felix sighs in relief. His friend was never one to pry information out of someone or ask incessant questions, which in this moment Felix is thankful for.
He's more than excited to see you again today, hoping you feel better than you did yesterday. He concentrates on your soul and aura, seeking you amongst the 8 billion souls on earth. As soon as he senses you he's transported into... the office bathroom? He's about to fly out because this is a breach of privacy but then he hears a familiar sniffle. There's no way you're crying in the office bathroom stall, is there? Felix slowly floats, looking for the source of the sound until he stops in front of the last door. He inhales and pushes himself through it, his eyes shut tightly. He slowly opens his eyes and squints, praying that you're not in some kind of compromising position.
You're not, you're just sitting on the closed toilet, your face in your hands and you're crying. Felix feels it again, the negative feelings drowning you in sorrow, one especially prominent. You feel excluded, invisible. Unimportant. Cupids don't really have a reason to cry usually, but Felix can feel your pain deeply with all of his being and his eyes water, golden sparkly tears sliding down his freckled cheeks. He reaches his hand towards you, trying to channel anything good through it, simultaneously fighting the bad feelings pushing him away. He knows he's not supposed to touch you or transfer any kind of light into you unless it's a dire soulmate situation but at this moment he doesn't care. He just doesn't want you to feel so sad and hurt so much. He places his palm on the top of your head, gently sliding it towards the back of your head and your head snaps up, your hand touching your hair where he just touched you.
Felix backs away immediately, pulling his hand to his chest as he panics, his big doe eyes wide as you look around in confusion. How did you feel that? You were only supposed to feel the light energy, but you actually felt his touch. Felix panics more when you reach towards him and he floats back out of the stall. Turns out you were just reaching for the door as you swung them open and hurried towards the sink.
Felix's heart beats hard in his chest, a strong fuzzy feeling shimmering in his insides, so dizzying to him that he doesn't even realize he floated right next to you. He gasps and looks at you but luckily you don't see him, you just splashed your face with water and you're looking at your reflection. He wonders what's happening to him, because a charge never made him feel like this nor did they feel him as you apparently did. He didn't even know who to ask about these things, and his friend Hyunjin seemed to know as much if not less than he does.
Felix throws that in the back of his mind for now, his main concern being; what or who made you cry at work? He follows you back to your cubicle and notices a few people gathered around another woman in the office, they're talking and throwing glances at you. Felix floats closer to listen in, even though he shouldn't really be doing that.
"Wow, Natasha, that ring really is beautiful."- one of the woman gushes as she speaks to the so called Natasha.
"I'm glad you're doing a bachelorette party."- one of them squeals.
"And I'm glad you didn't invite that weirdo. She seriously gives me the creeps."- another woman says, and Felix quickly realizes they're talking about you.
"Ugh, who cares about her. Let's talk about the party."- Natasha waves her hand and Felix feels something boiling in his blood, something he never felt before. Something that scares him and makes him wish he could do bad things to anyone who hurts you or makes you cry, but it quickly dissipates when he looks at your face. You look so dejected and he doesn't want you to think you're alone. He flies back to your cubicle and settles right next to you. And you're boiling. With sadness, anger and hurt, you're on the verge of exploding. Felix feels the push you're involuntarily making, pushing him and essentially pushing love away from you. Your aura is in the darker hues of blue and purple, swirling angrily. You stand up and as much as Felix wants you to stand up for yourself, he feels that you're not in the right state of mind and you might get yourself in trouble.
He quickly stands behind you, his hands hovering above your shoulders, scared now to actually touch you so you don't get spooked. He only hovers his hands above, as close to your skin as he can and sends some soothing light energy into your tense muscles. You relax visibly, the feelings of anger subsiding a little. You shake your head and sit down, deciding to ignore the bitches in your office because who really gives a damn about Natasha's wedding? You for sure don't so you go back to your work and Felix sighs behind you.
As you did yesterday, you continue working late into the night, leaving the building last again, crossing the creepy parking lot to your car and Felix follows closely like he did the day before. There's something different about your aura after that bout of anger you had in the office, something wilder brewing inside you. Felix can feel it and for some reason he doesn't recognize the feeling and he's left confused the whole way home as you drive, your hands gripping the wheel harshly.
You're calmer when you walk into your apartment and you do your nightly routine just like you did yesterday while Felix observes you patiently. You take a shower, he waits in the living room, he joins you for dinner and waits for you again in your room while you get ready for bed.
You lay down in your bed and the unfamiliar feeling that floated through you earlier is back. Felix struggles with it, he can't really comprehend the swirling he feels in his gut and he can't wrap his head around it being either a good or a bad feeling. He should leave but his curiosity gets the best of him, especially when you start making noises. Are you crying again?, Felix thinks and floats closer to you slowly only to realize in shock and horror that you're touching yourself.
He gasps, that feeling deep inside him stronger the closer he is to you and he feels like his insides are throbbing. Cupids don't exactly have a body they can touch but they know what sex is, after all that's part of relationships and love. And they also know they shouldn't be intruding on a private moment like this so Felix floats away towards the door, ignoring the fuzziness blurring his senses and vision. He tries to float through the door, the physical barriers never stopping him before, but his forehead collides hard with the door causing him to fall down on his butt, and he groans in pain. Pain? Since when do Cupids feel physical pain from impact like that?, he panics, his hand coming up to rub at his forehead.
"What the hell?"- he hears you say as you sit up and turn your lamp on, your eyes trained on the door. Felix guesses he made a lot of noise, again, and startled you, again.
"If there's a ghost in here now, you're sick!"- you yell out into the room and Felix looks up at you but luckily you don't seem to see him.
"Ugh, ghosts are scary."- he shivers, muttering to himself. You don't hear him, you sigh and lay back down, leaving the lamp on and opting to grab your phone. You open up Instagram, the mood you were in gone now.
Felix lifts up, dusting off the imaginary speckles of dust and glances at you again, feeling embarassed about this whole situation. He's confused about the door and how you managed to hear him smack into it. There's only one person he could ask about these happenings, and he's beyond nervous because of that.
"Hey Lix, how's it going?"- Changbin, one of the more experienced Cupids greets Felix as he makes his way to the Elders. Specifically, one he wants to talk to. Minho. For some reason, everyone is scared of him and there are rumours going around, rumours Felix doesn't even wanna think about because he gets scared easily.
"I- I need to talk to Minho."- Felix gulps and Changbin's smile falters.
"Oh? What for?"- he asks.
"It's personal. About my charge."- Felix answers.
"Ah, you got a tough one? Probably doesn't want to open their heart up for love, hm?"- Changbin wears a small smirk on his face as he plays around with the scroll he holds in his hands.
"Something like that, yeah."- Felix answers.
"You summoned me?"- there's a voice behind Felix and he shivers and turns around quickly, only to be greeted by a very pretty being, one that has sharp eyes and facial features but somehow there is softness underneath all that.
"Y-yes I did. I'm Felix."
"I know who you are. Tell me what you need."- the Elder called Minho talks calmly.
Felix turns to Changbin and he understands and shimmers away from them.
"Well, something weird is happening with my charge."- Felix says, clearing his throat.
"Weird how?"- Minho asks, the white light shining around him almost blinding Felix.
"I can feel her feelings, emotional and physical ones very strongly. So strongly that they managed to hurl me into her wardrobe and... and the door made noise. And then last night... I tried to float through her bedroom door and I banged my head into it."- Felix explains and he gets quieter and quieter as he talks, looking at Minho's face. The expressions Minho made during Felix's speech looked like he went through the five stages of grief in a few seconds.
"Has she heard you or seen you yet?"- Minho asks sternly and Felix is now scared for real.
"Yet? No, I mean no, she didn't. But she felt my touch. At least I think she did."- he mutters the last part.
Minho pinches the bridge of his nose, a long sigh coming out of his mouth.
"Someone screwed up. Again."- he says, annoyed.
"W-what do you mean?"- Felix feels like he's about to cry.
"Okay listen, just keep watching over your charge like you normally would. Create a link with her and infiltrate her dreams, fill them up with love. I'll talk to the others and we'll see what we can do. You just keep doing what you're doing. And don't be scared."- Minho places his hand on Felix's shoulder gently, in hopes of calming the young Cupid down. But nothing about Felix is calm in this moment.
It must be something big if Minho didn't tell him what's happening and he's asking to meet the other Elders. Something seriously bad is happening and Felix can't help but panic. In that moment of distress, he suddenly yearns to be by your side, the sweet scent of your aura, of you enveloping him and caressing him from the inside out. Felix opens his eyes and he's transported into your room. He didn't mean to do that and it startles him, he merely had a thought about you and he was suddenly there.
It's morning in the earth realm, way past your time to go to work but you're still in bed. It must be your day off or the weekend, Felix reckons. He hovers over your sleeping form and looks at you. Your aura is peaceful right now, the blues and purples leaning more to the pastel hues, and a slight silver shimmer between them swirling and dancing slowly. You must be having a good dream, Felix thinks as he smiles and reaches his hand towards you. He knows he shouldn't but he can't help himself. His palm rests on your cheek, and a buzzing feeling goes through him. A feeling he knows too well.
He gasps, retracting his hand as you stir in your sleep. Did you feel it too? His touch? The buzzing, the one that Felix always feels when a charges soulmate is near by. He couldn't believe it, he suddenly felt the other soul binded to you. But it was weird, like it's so close, almost like it's part of him. Something washes over him, a kind of melancholy and he doesn't know what to do with it. Sparkly tears brim at his eyes for a reason unknown to him and you're finally awake.
Your eyes flutter open and you stare straight at Felix, your sleep covered eyes boring into his wide ones. You freeze and he freezes too, his brain short-circuiting at the moment.
"What in the-" - you start and he shimmers away as fast as he can. There's no way. There's no freaking way you just saw him. He hopes he was fast enough so you'd think you were still dreaming. He shimmers back into his realm and accidentally bumps into Hyunjin hard, throwing him off balance.
"Woah! Felix?"- Hyunjin looks at him wide-eyed. "How did you do that?"- he asks.
"Do what?"- Felix's panic spreads wider inside him.
"You pushed me. How did you push me?"- Hyunjin looks confused.
"I- I don't know. I can't explain it right now, I just need to talk to Minho."
"You can't. The Elders are having a meeting. It's something serious by the look of it. Even The Great Source Of Light is attending the meeting. You know it's something bad when they're there."- his fellow Cupid explains.
"Oh my god!"- Felix cries, tears streaming down his cheeks and his friend gasps.
"Oh! You're crying! Why are you crying?"- Hyunjin flails both his arms and wings. He's never seen his fellow Cupids cry like this, especially not the always smiling Felix.
"I can't tell you. I need to go!"- Felix shuts his eyes tightly, concentrating on you again. He hears Hyunjin shouting his name, but it's too late, Felix is transported into your apartment again.
Only this time, it's the living room and you're sitting on the couch, talking to someone on the phone.
"I'm telling you it looked real. He was like some kind of angel. But like Barbie pink version."- you say and Felix accidentally chuckles. He covers his mouth fast but you didn't seem to hear him behind you. He slowly circles the couch to stand in front of you but you look through him.
"Well alright then my dreams are vivid as always. He was kinda cute tho."- you giggle and Felix feels warmness spreading in his face and chest.
"Sure, sure I need to get laid. According to you."- you laugh into the speaker, playing with the hem of your shirt, your legs tucked under one of the decorative pillows on your couch.
"Okay, let me know when you find a normal one."- you chuckle again. "I'll see you soon then. Bye!"
You hang up and shake your head, thinking to yourself that you've really gone mad if you started hallucinating like that. You get up and make your way to your room and Felix follows behind you silently, his senses buzzing again. You open up your closet and start sifting through your dresses. Felix heats up when he realizes you're about to undress. He turns around fast, closing his eyes, trying to be respectful even though there's a strong pull inside him telling him to just turn back around to face you. But he fights it and stays with his back turned to you.
When he's sure you're dressed he whips back around and his eyes land on you, dressed in a pretty dress and checking yourself in the mirror.
"Oh."- Felix gasps, his chest fluttering. He's never seen you dressed like that and his senses start buzzing even more. He's dizzy suddenly so he moves away from you, into the living room. He doesn't want to risk bumping into something or you seeing him again even though he has no idea what actually triggered that.
You finish getting ready and head out, Felix floating behind you. It's a beautiful sunny day and you walk to the park near your house, where your best friend waits for you.
"Y/n!"- Jisung waves at you, getting up from the bench he was sitting on and opening up his arms.
"Sungie!"- you yell back and close the distance, returning the hug.
Felix's lips fall open, and he feels something stirring inside him, something kind of uncomfortable at the sight of you hugging another man like that. You and Jisung part and start walking down the path together. Felix hurries up behind you, trying to put his hand on Jisung's shoulder so he can feel his soul. Jisung's aura is invisible to Felix, since he's not his charge but he can still 'read' his soul only if he manages to make the connection.
"So, how did your date go?"- you ask your friend.
"Which date? The one on Wednesday or the one last night?"- he smirks and you chuckle, smacking his arm and unkowingly startling your Cupid.
"Which ever one was better... or more eventful."- you wiggle your eyebrows.
"Honestly, they were both a snooze. This guy last night almost bored me to death. I'm beginning to think I'll never find my soulmate."- Jisung sighs. Felix's hand is almost on his shoulder.
"Aww, don't say that. I believe that you of all people will actually find your soulmate."- you say.
"I don't see it, unless Cupid personally comes down to earth and finds someone for me."- Jisung jokes and Felix freezes and retracts his hand.
Why did he say that? Did he actually believe in Cupid? Or was he just saying it?
You reach your favorite diner, and Felix manages to float through the door this time while following you. He stands behind your friend's chair as you chat and order, his hands hovering above Jisung's shoulder. He finally places them down, little lights forming from them as he tries to feel around for that familiar buzz and warmness.
But, nothing happens. Jisung doesn't flinch, you keep talking and laughing, and there is no buzz or warmness or love. At least not that kind, Felix can feel that Jisung cares about you as a friend but he isn't your soulmate and Felix feels relieved. Why is he relieved?! He's supposed to find your soulmate, that's his only purpose! He feels confused suddenly, thoughts swirling inside him and he decides - tonight will be the night he will try to infiltrate your dreams.
Felix waits for you to fall asleep instead of shimmering away this evening. When he's sure you're entering deeper into your dreams, he floats closer to you and hovers over you. He places his hands above your head and closes his eyes, concentrating on your energy. Little particles of light shine out of his hands onto your face, warming you up and creating the link your Cupid needs to basically transport himself into your mind.
You're dreaming, at least you think you are but it feels real. More real than any other dream you had before. You're in a field that seems to stretch forever, it's warm and sunny, you're surrounded by beautiful flowers but there's something different about them, different than flowers you see in real life. They're glowing, you realize. The light on their petals glimmers into million different colors, you've never seen anything like it.
"Pretty, isn't it?"- you hear a deep voice behind you and you whip around fast, but you're met with more flowers and grass.
"Who's there? Show yourself!"- you say.
"Not yet."- the voice says. "I don't want to spook you."
"Who are you?"- you ask.
"I'm... someone who's trying to help you open up your heart to love."- the voice reckons.
"Oh? I don't think my heart's closed though."
"Then why do you feel so lonely?"
"Ouch! That's none of your business!"- you feel slightly annoyed at the voice, but this is also just a dream so it must be your subconscious.
"Actually, that is exactly my business-"
"Honestly, I feel crazy talking to a void. Just come out from wherever you're hiding."- you hear a deep sigh and then you see a blinding light. Your arms come up to shield your eyes as you wait for the flickering to subside. When you put your arms down, you come face to face with a beautiful creature. You've never seen anyone as pretty as this creature is, they're practically glowing, their pretty pink wings shimmering and moving lightly as they hover over the ground.
"Hey, I know you!"- you say suddenly, pointing at him and waving your finger. "I saw you this morning when I opened my eyes. Oh my god, I am going crazy. I've conjured up some kind of pretty man in my dreams! You are a man, right?"
"Ugh, well, I'm not technically human. But for humans I am male presenting. I'm actually-" - Felix doesn't get to finish his sentence, he's suddenly forcefully thrown out of your mind.
The link is broken, why? Felix opens his eyes and you're awake. It's still night so why did you wake up? He floats away from you, giving you space as he sees you fumbling for your night lamp.
You turn the light on, your hand coming up to rest on your forehead. The connection must've been too much for you that it caused you a headache and that's why you woke up. Your Cupid feels bad that he caused you pain so he comes closer to you again, lifting his hands up over your hair to take the pain away. His light heals you and the pressure that was throbbing inside your head and behind your eyelids is suddenly gone. You go back to sleep feeling exhausted and confused about your dream even though you couldn't remember the details of it. Felix decides to stay next to you tonight.
It's been a few weeks, and the Elders haven't said a word about their meeting or Felix's 'situation' to him. He was still scared and panicky but he tried to stay calm for the sake of his charge - you, who he had to help find love. He tried to ignore the constant buzzing he felt whenever he got closer to you, but it was consuming him and making him feel weaker. Like his powers were harder to call upon, and he had no idea how you or the soul binded to you were doing that. Speaking of that soul, he had yet to find them and he tried to 'read' every single person interacting with you, but every time the reading came up blank.
Tonight, Felix decided to appear in your dreams again and try to make the dream longer so you could have a proper conversation.
You find yourself on the pretty field again, those wondrous flowers glowing beautifully around you.
"Hello?"- you say, looking around the now familiar place.
"I'm here."- the deep voice says and you turn around towards it.
"Indeed you are."- you chuckle. "I must be crazy."
"I assure you, you're not. Let me properly introduce myself. My name is Felix, and I am... well I'm your Cupid."- he says and you look at him in disbelief before you burst out into laughter, startling the poor creature.
"Okay, this is just a dream."- you shake your head.
"Yes, it is."
"At least I'm not hallucinating in real life."- you say.
"I've come to talk to you. I'm having some problems in finding the soul binded to you. I feel them close but I can't find them. It must mean that your heart is closed off to love."
"Is that like a soulmate?"- you play along this illusion you created in your head, when in fact you know you're just talking to yourself.
The glowing creature nods.
"What if I don't have one?"- you ask.
"Nonsense! Everyone has a soulmate."
"Even you?"
"I am just a messenger of love."- Felix shakes his head.
"Maybe I'm not meant for love. Maybe I'm an exception and I don't have a soulmate or whatever."- you sigh and Cupid floats closer to you.
"Is that how you feel? Undeserving of love?"
"Are you going all psychological on me?"- you chuckle, he's now closer to you and you feel warmth radiating from the light around him.
"Well, I need to know what's stopping you from finding love."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore."- you say, your mood sour suddenly and Felix feels it.
"Okay, we can talk about anything else."- he smiles at you.
"Don't you have somewhere else to be? Aren't you supposed to help people find love?"
"I am one of many."- Felix chuckles. "I'm supposed to be right here now. With you."
You're about to talk but your alarm blasts next to your ear and you realize you're waking up. The pretty field, flowers, sunshine and Cupid disappear into oblivion and you wake up in your room. The clock is showing 6:30am and you have to get ready for work. You have a warm feeling inside you and you feel like you just came from somewhere, some happy place and you're trying to grasp it again. You hate when you forget your dreams like that, but it must've been a good one because you're feeling more positive than you usually do.
Jisung calls you that evening, all excited about finding you the perfect date. He's been yapping about his coworker, Chan, for days, trying to get you to go out with him.
"Just take a risk. It's one date, what do you have to lose? If you don't like him just ghost him or something."
"Because that's very nice to do, Jisung."- you roll your eyes even though he can't see you over the phone and he laughs.
"Look, maybe it will just be some nice dick, but god knows you need that anyways."
"Oh my god!"- you laugh. "Alright then, I'll go out with him."
"Yes!"- you can imagine Jisung jumping up and down in excitement. "Wear that pretty black dress you have!"
And you do, you wear the dress, you put your heels on, you even put a little more makeup than you usually do and Felix watches.
He seethes in jelaousy, he recognizes it now, it's something Cupids aren't supposed to feel but he does. He wants you to make yourself this pretty for him, only for him. He knows it's the highest rule he's breaking but he can't help it, he's fallen in love with you.
You really don't have high expectations out of tonight, having been disappointed in people again and again. So you're surprised when Chan turns out not only handsome and funny but a real gentleman and someone you can actually have an intelligent conversation with. But you're cautious and don't want to jump to conclusions, or start anything serious.
That's why you decide to let go for the night, after a few encouraging drinks in your system, you invite Chan over to your place. You haven't been touched in so long, you forgot how good it feels to have someone kiss you as passionately as he does. You forgot how it feels to have gentle hands on your skin, worshipping you, laying you down on your bed.
Glowing golden tears slide down Felix's cheeks as he watches from the corner of the room. He knows Chan's not your soulmate, he linked to his soul back at the restaurant you had dinner at. And while he sensed that Chan was a good man, he still didn't want him anywhere near you. Felix still wants to give you privacy, but the buzzing and fuzziness clouding his senses don't let him move his wings or shimmer. He feels paralyzed and all he can do is turn his back to the bed, forced to listen to your pleasure, your strained moans, short breaths, your wetness caused by the man touching you and kissing you, the way you kept chanting his name.
Felix wishes to disappear, but at the same time his gut is stirring and he feels shame wash over him. He shuts his eyes tight, ignoring all the feelings brewing inside him, and suddenly he feels like he's being pulled up. He almost screams in fear but when he opens his eyes, he realizes he's back in his realm. Minho is glowing as he stands in front of him and Felix, still out of breath, slightly bows to his Elder.
"Felix."- Minho says and the Cupid gulps.
"Your powers are weakening fast, even as we speak."
"What's happening to me?"- Felix asks, fresh sparkly tears spilling out his eyes, lips quivering.
"You're losing your powers. You're becoming human, Felix."- Minho announces and Felix gasps.
"H-how is that possible?"- he's shivering now.
"I can't tell you yet. You need to find out on your own. Go back to your charge."
"B-but she's-"
"Go to her. Don't be afraid. Everything will be fine, Cupid."- Minho waves his hands towards Felix, little sparkly clouds coming out of them, soothing the Cupid's pain as much as he can.
"I can't shimmer."- Felix shakes his head, shaking a little.
"Just try to focus on your charge's energy and you'll be transported."- Minho says and Felix tries again, he senses you but he can't move.
"Hyunjin!"- Minho summons the other Cupid and he appears next to them. He takes in the state of his friend, shaking and tears still streaming down his cheeks. He's never seen him this weak or this sad.
"What's wrong?"- Hyunjin's brows furrow.
"He can't shimmer. Help him, just bring him to his charge, he'll show you the way."- Minho explains.
Hyunjin grabs Felix's hands gently and they both close their eyes, communicating with their minds, Felix sending his emotions and your soul's energy to Hyunjin. They manage to shimmer into your living room and Felix looks around. It's obviously the next day after that date, since time goes by differently in different realms.
"Hey, whatever happens, everything will be okay in the end, you know?"- Hyunjin smiles sympathetically at Felix, gently putting his hand on his friend's cheek.
"How do you know that?"- Felix's bottom lip quivers. "Do you know something I don't?"- he asks, vision blurry from tears. Hyunjin wipes them off.
"I don't. But I trust the Elders know what they're doing. And so does The Great Source Of Light. They would never harm us or anyone else for that matter."- Hyunjin reassures him.
"You really think that?"- Felix sniffles.
"I do. You'll be fine, my friend."- Hyunjin pats his head and shimmers away. Felix looks around again and you're not in the living room. He hears rummaging in your kitchen and he hopes and prays that Chan isn't still here. He wipes his tears away, trying to come to his senses, and you walk out of the kitchen towards your sofa.
You look up and freeze.
"What the fuck?!"- you squeal, grabbing the nearest object to you, which was just a decorative pillow in the shape of a flower and hurl it into the intruder standing next to your tv. Felix gasps, lifting his arms up to cover his face and the pillow flies right through him, a few particles of light dispersing around him as the pillow hits the wall with a thud.
"Okay, what the hell is this?!"- you say, obviously panicked and trying to pinch yourself so you wake up cause there's no way this is real.
"Don't hurt me!"- the 'intruder' speaks in a deep voice that's somehow familiar to you.
"What are you? What is happening?!"- you panic, half hiding behind your sofa. "Are you a ghost?"
"Ghosts are scary."- the creature shakes his head and comes closer. You squint your eyes, moving back a little, before realization dawns on you.
"I know you!"- you wave your finger at him and Felix feels a sense of deja vu. "You appear in my dreams. You talk to me. In some field with weird flowers."
"How do you remember that?"- he gasps. His powers must be really weakening.
"I remember a lot of my dreams. I don't remember what we talk about though. Am I going crazy and hallucinating right now? Talking to myself?"- you ask.
"No, I'm real."- the creature says.
You don't feel threatened for some reason so you come closer to him. Warmth radiates off of him and he looks ethereally beautiful up close. His hair is long and blonde, eyes dark but sparkles swim inside them, eyelashes long, freckles adorning his face, some of them in the shape of little hearts, even his upper lip is shaped like a heart. He glows, his pink shiny wings moving ever so slightly as he hovers above the ground just a little, before he plants his feet down on your carpet.
You reach your hand towards him, something pulling you closer to him and Felix stays completely still as he feels that buzzing again. His soul vibrates as your fingertips touch his ever so slightly and his eyes flutter. You gasp, only feeling electrifying warmness when you touch him, not actual skin like you would if you were touching a human.
"W-what are you?"- you whisper.
"I'm a Cupid. One of many. I was sent to help you find your soulmate."- he says and you laugh in disbelief, much like you did in your dream.
"I should call a doctor and get my head checked."- you sigh, sitting down on your sofa. Felix joins you reluctantly, almost shyly, and you eye him.
"I'm telling you, you're not crazy, this is real. It's just that you're not supposed to see me. But somehow you can."- he says.
"And why's that?"- you ask.
"I don't know. The Elders do. But they never told me anything, they said I should find out on my own."- the Cupid explains.
"The Elders?"- you play along to the madness.
"Yeah. Ugh, they're like beings of light like us, but like upper level. They take care of everything, keep the balance of Good in the world. All the positive feelings and such."- the Cupid explains.
"So is your name Cupid or?"- you say, trying to wrap your head around what's happening right now.
"No, my name's Felix."- he says.
"Okay then, Felix."- you emphasize his name and his chest flutters, some kind of vibrating wave washing over him. "How are you supposed to help me find my soulmate?"
"Well, I watched you and got to know you... and I'm supposed to feel the soul-"
"Wait, wait. You watch me? Isn't that kinda creepy?"- you stop him.
"N-no, it's literally what I'm supposed to do! Or it was, at least. I never intruded on your personal moments. I mean, not on purpose."- Felix says, looking away from you.
"What do you mean not on purpose?"
"I couldn't shimmer while you were here with your date last night. But I was summoned by the Elders anyways."
"Shimmer?"
"It's how Cupids transport through realms."- he explains, and you shake your head, your brows lifting up in disbelief.
"So you just watched me have sex?"
Felix cringes, the feelings stirring inside him last night threatening to resurface again.
"No, I didn't! I turned away. And just so you know, Chan is not your soulmate."
You scoff at him and grab your phone.
"Okay, I've had enough of this craziness. I'm gonna call the only person I trust, and if he can see you then you're real."- you nod to yourself.
"Jisung?"- Felix asks and you roll your eyes at him.
"You know eeeeverything about me, now do you?"- you say before Jisung picks up. You tell him it's an emergency and to come over asap.
And he does, just 10 minutes later, he's walking through your door.
"Come, I need to show you something."- you say grabbing his arm and pulling him into your living room.
"Where is the damn emergency?"- Jisung whines.
"There."- you point at Felix, who's standing next to the sofa now. "Do you see him?"
"You mean the pretty man with pink wings that's floating in your living room? Yeah I do and what the actual fuck?"- Jisung asks, his eyes widdened in shock.
"This is Cupid. One of many, as he says. His name is Felix and he's here to help me find love."- you sigh and Jisung laughs, shaking his head. "And since you can see him, either he's real or we're sharing a hallucination."
"I can't believe your ass was so lonely that you got your own personal Cupid to help you date."- Jisung jokes and you smack his head.
"Not funny!"- you say.
"Actually, you have your own personal Cupid too."- Felix chimes in.
"I do?"- Jisung's eyes widden again, his hand still rubbing where you smacked him.
"Everyone does."- Felix nods.
"So why can we see you?"- Jisung asks.
"I don't know. I don't know why any of this is happening. It all started when I accidentally swung the lamp and hit the wardrobe door-"
"That was you?"
"Yeah, and I'm not supposed to be able to influence physical stuff in the earth realm like that. I'm only made of light."- Felix explains.
"Okay then, you obviously need help. Since you can't shimmer or whatever, and people can see you, you have to stay here while I'm out. I mean people would probably be weirded out if they saw a guy with wings floating around me all day."- you chuckle and Felix nods, some kind of turmoil swirling in his chest.
"Shimmer?"- Jisung asks.
"Don't ask."- you say and Felix suddenly feels dizzy, he grabs at his chest, vibration going through his body.
"Felix?"- you tilt your head as you turn back to him.
He's buzzing even more now, little particles of light dispersing constantly around him.
"What's happening to him?!"- Jisung panics getting up and trying to get closer to the Cupid, only to be blinded by light.
Both of you lift your hands up to shield your eyes, and you hear some kind of little explosions like fireworks all around you.
The lights are so bright that you can see them under your closed eyelids.
You hear a thud and the lights disappear so you finally open your eyes. Felix is laying on the floor, seemingly unconscious and both you and Jisung rush to him.
You place your hand on Felix's shoulder and try to shake him only to realize you can actually feel him like he was made of flesh, not only the warmness and electricity that went through your palm earlier.
Felix is slowly waking up and he can hear Minho summoning him, at the same time he feels your hand on him, he feels the floor beneath him and he panics. He's pulled up suddenly, the action hurting him, his now human body screaming with pain.
"Felix."- he hears Minho's warm voice.
"What happened?"- Felix asks, slowly opening his eyes, all the light and swirling clouds that he was surrounded by every day of his existence suddenly making him naseous, intensifying the headache behind his eyelids.
"You're almost completely human. Have you realized why you're turning human?"- Minho asks and Felix shakes his head no.
Minho pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing in annoyance.
"Think about it. The buzzing you feel when you're close to your charge."
Felix thinks, despite the horrible aches going through his body, he tries hard to think about everything he knows. He gasps as realization dawns on him.
"I'm- I'm her soulmate?"- he says, his chest beating now and he clutches at it, realizing he now has a heart pumping blood through him.
"Finally!"- Minho chuckles.
"But how is that possible? Cupids aren't supposed to fall in love, especially not with mortals."- Felix recites the rule he learned the first day he opened his eyes.
"Well, someone screwed up. As you know, us Elders deal with good souls too, we help them reincarnate or pass on into different existences. Cupids souls are the souls of people who are done with their life on earthly realms, promoting them to a higher state of being. I mean, not only Cupids, but also Muses for inspiration, Sandman for dreams and many other light beings. The point is, your soul was supposed to be reincarnated as your charge's soulmate. But instead someone accidentally reincarnated you into a Cupid. Still, the pull of love is stronger than anything, travelling through realms and your soulmate ended up as your charge just so you can find love in each other. Weird how destiny works, but that is yours."- Minho explains and Felix just stares at him, the overwhelming amount of information seemingly suffocating him.
"Wh-what about my powers... My other charges..."
"Your charges have been divided between different Cupids, so don't worry about that. Your powers are actually what I wanted to talk to you about. They were one with you since the day you started existing, connected to your emotions so it will take some time for them to completely disappear. The transition will be hard but it will be worth it."
"B-but... what if she doesn't love me?"- Felix asks weakly.
"Oh, she already does. After all, she's your soulmate too."- Minho smiles, seemingly glowing even brighter than before.
"So what do I do now?"
"I will send you back to the earth realm. This is goodbye, former-Cupid. You did a great job helping people find love. It's your turn now to find yours."- Minho says beckoning Felix's friends to come closer. Hyunjin and Changbin float closer to Felix, both of them with golden tears sparkling in their eyes, threatening to spill out.
"You'll be fine, Felix. You deserve to feel love."- Hyunjin smiles at his friend and Changbin agrees.
Felix tries to hug them, but all he feels is the warmness of the light particles they're made of as they embrace him. It's enough for him to feel the love they hold.
"Shimmer him to his love."- is the last thing Felix hears before everything goes black.
It has been three weeks exactly since Felix disappeared and appeared again in your living room, without his wings, unconscious and running a high fever.
You and Jisung carried him to your bed when he appeared, unsure if you should call an ambulance or not. Jisung remembered that Chan's close to a doctor who's really good at what he does but you felt awkward since you never contacted him again after that night. He was still happy to help, holding no grudges against you and his doctor friend welcomes you to his ordination the same day.
You can't really explain the whole situation to the doctor lest he deems you crazy, but even with the little information you give to him, he takes care of Felix.
"Hm."- doctor Yang muses, staring at the papers in his hands. "He just has a fever, while all his other vitals are fine. It's just like he's burning up from the inside, like there's some kind of light or fire inside him."
Even after running all the possible tests, the doctor couldn't find the source of Felix's state, but you know it's gonna take more than any kind of human medicine to make him better.
And now it's been three weeks, Felix is falling in and out of consciousness, and you've tried everything and anything you could think of. Jisung's been helping you take care of him, and you've had time to think. Your heart ached for Felix, seeing him on the brink between life and death, holding on by a thread.
In the mean time, you decide to say fuck it and quit your job. It's not what you wanted to do originally anyways, you just had to pay bills like everyone else so you settled. But, after finding out about Cupids, Elders and whatnot, your earthly problems and concerns seemed kind of nonsensical. Life is so much greater than you thought it was, there is meaning in it, there is love and destiny and soulmates.
That's why you feel connected to Felix, in a way, he was excluded too, something you felt every single day of your life, especially at work. He was cut off from the only life he knew, he had no family or friends, no past on Earth, at least not in this life. You feel like you want to protect him in any way you can.
"Sungie, I'm worried. His breathing is really shallow."- you say, placing your hand on Felix's forehead.
Jisung is silent for a few moments, deep in thought.
"Jisung?"- you tilt your head at him.
"You know what I've been thinking? Since he is - well was Cupid, and he's made of light and love... wouldn't a true love's kiss make him better?"- Jisung suggests.
"Have you been reading fairytales?"- you chuckle.
"Cupid is kind of a fairytale though, isn't he? Or a myth, rather. I don't know, just think about it."
"That's so cliché though."- you shake your head in disbelief.
"Cliché or not, it could be the only way to help him."
That evening, you're alone with Felix and thinking about what your friend said earlier. It couldn't hurt to try, right? You got nothing to lose.
You get up from the couch that you've been sleeping on ever since Felix fell ill, and make your way to your room. He's laying on his back, his breathing fast and shallow, beads of sweat running down his forehead. You sit on the bed, nervousness suddenly washing over you and making your heart beat faster in your chest.
"Felix?"- you try like many times before, but to no avail. Your eyes water and you're afraid. If this doesn't work, he may not have much more time. The thought of that creates an empty hole in your stomach.
You lean in closer to his face and slowly press your lips on his. They're chapped but still soft and you feel something hit you, leaving you out of breath. Thousands of years of love, his soul that was binded to you since the beginning, stretching into forever, taking different shapes, nationalities, species. You may have even been two rocks on a shore when Earth first came into existence. You know him, you know his lips, you know his love.
You hear fireworks much like that day in the living room and you quickly pull back. Little lights are exploding around Felix and he opens his eyes.
"Y-y/n?"- he says weakly, his voice deep and raspy as he squints his eyes at you. The little lights from the fireworks disperse around you both.
"Felix?!"- you gasp. You can't believe it actually worked! Jisung is a damn genius, you think, smiling at Felix.
"W-what-"
"It's okay."- you touch his forehead and his fever seems to be subsiding quickly. "You have to drink some water."
Felix just nods, feeling completely confused and out of it. You grab a water bottle and help him drink.
"Oh, that's better."- he says. "What happened?"
"You were kind of unconscious for three weeks. Jisung and I took care of you. I thought you... I thought you wouldn't make it."- you say, your stomach swirling with many different emotions.
"How did you make me better then?"- he asks and your face warms up.
"I- ugh- I kissed you."- you declare and Felix's eyes widden, his cheeks rosy.
"Oh."- he looks away and awkwardness settles between you both as you have no idea what to do or say.
Felix's stomach suddenly grumbles making you chuckle as he gasps and grabs at it.
"I guess you're fully human now."- you say. "Let's go eat something."- you reach your hands towards him.
He grabs them, wobbling on his feet and you help him steady himself. After not using his legs for 3 weeks, he still feels weak and fuzzy even though your kiss basically healed him.
"My wings!"- he realizes suddenly. "They're gone!"
"Actually, they were gone as soon as you were brought back from your realm."- you tell him and he doesn't answer, seemingly deep in thought.
You decide not to pry with any questions as you both settle in the kitchen, he'll tell you what's on his mind when he's ready.
You whip up some instant noodles and bring two bowls to the table. Felix doesn't wait, he starts digging in with his chopsticks right away.
"Woah, woah, wait a little or you'll get burned."- you warn him, gently grabbing his hand.
His face flushes as he looks at you sheepishly.
"Sorry."- he mumbles.
"It's okay."- you smile at him. "You have lots of things to get used to."
When he does try the food, his eyes widden comically, lips falling open.
"Oh wow, this is so good! Must be food for gods."- he gasps.
"Thank you, but it's just instant noodles."- you chuckle. He smiles a little and continues eating as thoughts swirl around his head.
Now that he's completely human, everything he knew before and everyone he cared about was gone. Everything he ever was just evaporated, his powers, his wings, his duties. And even though he knows you're his soulmate, and you're bound to fall in love with him like he fell in love with you, he was still scared. If you didn't want him, he'd have nowhere to go.
"What's on your mind?"- you ask Felix after dinner, as you both sit on your couch.
"Well... I basically don't exist in this realm. I don't have a family, not even a last name. No one, but you I guess."- he sighs shyly.
"I know it's not the same, but I kind of of have no one except Jisung and well you either. I'm not really close to my family anymore."
"But the pictures-"
"Are old. They didn't agree with my choices and they didn't care for me when I was down. Jisung was there for me at my lowest so he's more like family to me than my actual one."- you say.
"I understand. It's just that... I'm scared."- Felix looks away from you.
"Of what?"
"I know we're soulmates but I'm afraid you wont see me the way I see you and then I'll truly have no one."- he says quietly. You chuckle, making him look up at you.
"You know what I felt when I kissed you?"- you ask and he shakes his head.
"I felt like I've known you for a thousand years. Like I loved you for a thousand years."- his lips tremble. "I've always been kind of a dreamer when it comes to love. But after being with wrong people I stopped believing. In soulmates, destiny, Cupids and whatnot. But kissing you tonight changed everything."
"Do you maybe want to try that again?"
Instead of answering verbally you start leaning in towards him slowly, your eyes travelling to his plump lips. Felix's heart starts beating hard against his chest as he leans in too. Your heart matches the beating of his as his breath hits your lips. He meets you halfway, your lips pressing together and you place your hands on his cheeks gently. You start moving your lips and he's stunned for a moment before he follows your lead. And suddenly, he feels all of it. All the precious moments of love you shared in your past lives. The purpose of his existence, he realizes as his soul buzzes is to love you. You smile into the kiss and he knows everything will be just fine.
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