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amitojo · 5 years ago

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6 Steps to Overcome Fear / Self-Limiting Beliefs

6 Steps to Overcome Fear / Self-limiting Beliefs

At first, I didn’t think I’d write about this. The challenge to myself was to just post the video, that’s it. But witnessing such amazing response I thought I’d share more and give you a background of what was going on in my head and how I chose to go past my limiting belief.

I recently uploaded a video on all my social media profiles. This video was purely out of my commitment to my growth and me moving beyond my mind-made fears and limitations. If you haven’t watched the video — Watch it below 👇 (not for content but for context)

youtube

Notice how I put “mind-made” in bold; it is because there are two kinds of fear. One is real, one is not.

One is life-threatening, like you falling down from a height or fear of crossing roads in fast moving traffic, etc.

The other fear is made by our mind to “protect” the ego, to keep us in a safe, comfortable place (emotionally). Basic example of mind-made fears is — one not raising their hand in class which is equivalent to one not sharing / communicating cause of fear of being judged. This fear encourages behaviour which is safe and comfortable. There’s not much to lose per se, but then there’s not much to gain as well.

Growth is outside the comfort zone. Growth is in doing things we’ve never done before, learning things we haven’t learnt before.

I am going to be talking about mind-made fear / self-limiting beliefs.

I am certain we all have gone beyond our mind-made fears / limitations some time or the other, out of necessity if not by choice. However, in this article, I will share the exact steps I took that inspired me to go beyond the limiting belief so it can be replicated and we can choose to move beyond our made up limitations at whim and not only when it is absolutely necessary.

----

I thought of this idea (of sharing a video) last week. I remember I was in the shower, just contemplating life, dreams, goals.

I thought about my dream of leading/influencing people (leading, educating, training, DJing). That lead me to think about the repercussions of coronavirus on the music, entertainment, and training/education industry. How a lot of artists/leaders/trainers/educators are going “live” on various social medias to further their vision and provide value. I thought about how I could also do the same and that’s where I stopped. I immediately said to myself, “Nah, I can’t do that.”

I introspected, why can’t I do that?

The answer was fear of being judged.

Thats when I thought I’d take a step beyond this fear and upload a video.

One half of me (the higher-self) instantly agreed to do this as it saw all the possibilities, the bright side, how it will expand me. It took this as an opportunity. I thought to myself, here I am, one who dreams to perform in front of people, lead people, one who dreams of fame, etc, and I am not comfortable with myself?

How could I lead people when I am not confident about myself? How could I play in front of people if am not confident about myself? — To be specific — When I get conscious of people looking at me and listening to me! [I have been comfortable with 1 on 1 conversations but 1 to group, not that much — working on it]

I thought to myself — How could I be everything that I wanted and more without being completely comfortable with myself — be it with the way I look, the way I talk, the way I am in general.

I assume that all the people I aspire to be like — the ones who are leading, the ones who are performing, the ones who are comfortable putting out videos, etc, are like that because they are comfortable with themselves, how they are, who they are, and are confident about themselves.

I have got to own myself and accept myself as is, I thought to myself! This is it, this is me!

Extra motivation came in the form of the realisation that I will be able to share / contribute much more value via video on top of what I am and will be providing through just writing.

So I said to myself — challenge accepted!

I took this idea as a stepping stone to achieve my goals and dreams.

The other half of me (the ego), however, did not like this idea at all! It was not confident about this. It thought this idea was stupid, pointless. It’s funny how the ego was giving me two contradicting reasons to stop me from recording and uploading the video.

People will make fun of you. You’ll look like an idiot. No one cares about your upload or what you’re doing, etc.

You are just doing this to satisfy your ego (lol) [I read somewhere, as we learn more, become smarter, our egos do too. #JusSharin]

Basically anything to get me not to do this.

My ego was asking me not to take any action — to protect itself. I had a lot of reasons not to do this, one of the main ones being — “what will people say or think?” (Hence I took around a week to upload a 30-second video. I did it nonetheless.)

This question of “what will people think/say?” alone has stopped me from living my best life since forever. I get present to this thought’s deep-rooted nature in my life, in my way of being each day. I get present to the impact it has on my life, the opportunity costs and it drives me to move ahead, go beyond this dialogue and be/do/say whatever I want to be/do/say. [It does, a lot of times, make me feel like a loser too, I won’t lie— mainly when I accept the limitations and I don’t take any action. ]

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”

Benjamin Disraeli

I have been on a conscious journey of self-expression since 2013, I think.

Self expression for me = to be, do, say who I am, what/how I feel — unapologetically.

I have noticed how I suppress my thoughts, emotions, point of views and I am actively working on communicating the same.

I have come a long way from where I was back then, no doubt, but there is still a long way to go!

3-4 years back, I gave myself a challenge to write about my feelings, share my journey, my point of views. I was pretty nervous back when I started. It was new for me. But it was a small step towards self-expression. Once I did start writing however, it felt freeing and I got really positive response from people around me. Now I am pretty comfortable with that — so much so that I started a blog!

Now, I gave myself another challenge — to put out a video of me on social media.

This meant A LOT to me. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I am not one of those who post their pictures, selfies, or post videos of themselves or go live. I’m not comfortable getting clicked… So, posting a video which I took of myself — online? 😅

But I did it. And you know what, I felt great. I respect myself more. I love myself more. I am proud of myself.

----

So down to business, 6 steps I used to overcome my fear / self-limiting belief

Identify the fear / limiting belief

Get present to the impact it has had on your life till now.

Get present to its impact in the future, if things remain the same — the opportunity costs

Imagine if you didn’t have that fear — what would you be/do/say? How would you look like? How would life look like?

Ask yourself, what is one thing you could do today that would take you closer to that you/life without fear? One step to take you beyond that fear/limitation. It could be a baby step.

Take that step and acknowledge / celebrate it (It is extremely important to acknowledge and celebrate. Success breeds success. — Small victories form momentum and bring about big victories.)

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Lao Tzu

I took the baby steps and I love myself for that. I feel powerful. I guess the most powerful feeling is when you go beyond your own limitations; when you prove it to yourself that YOU CAN DO IT! That’s a different kind of high.

I felt so good and freeing after posting the video and receiving the amazing response, that I made a youtube channel! 😂

PLIS Subscribe 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9hui_ukYf811voHO6HrT1g?

Also, I used the above-mentioned method to start waking up at 5am!!! I don’t know if you know, but I have always considered myself a night person. It was effortless for me to stay up till 4,5,6 am and the best time to sleep for me was when the sun was rising. My closest friends call me DK (Dark Knight) cause I always meet them late at night, nothing to do with the fact that I usually wear the color Black (haha). I never saw myself as a morning person, but now I am waking up at 5 am 2-3 times a week. My aim is to wake up at 4 am on weekdays at least.

Late nights were productive (when I was at home). Late night is a good time to work because there’s little to no distractions. Same is the case with waking up early morning though. There is little to no distraction And trust me when I say this — the most productive days of MY LIFE have been when I woke up at 4/5 am!

*Bonus Tips*

If your mind says you can’t do it — Look for other people who have done what you’re committed to doing. If they can do it, you can do it! (Learn how they did it, what worked for them)

Repeat! — If you keep repeating the 6 steps, be it in any area of life, for any reason — you will not recognize yourself when you look back. The amount of growth and expansion you will achieve is going to be insane.

----

To conclude, this method did work for me in different areas of life and I believe it will work for you too if you apply it as per the steps outlined above.

Don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t see results right away though, it is a journey. Be patient, and more importantly, be consistent with your effort and never give up (characteristics of the people who succeed).

Start with baby steps. I am certain that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to!

Extremely important note — ***All of this (me sharing and expressing my point of views), is possible because of the amazing listening and reception I get from my community (both online and offline) — my friends, family — all the generous, loving, and supportive people who have made this journey of self-expression, self-awareness so pleasant, peaceful and joyous. Thank you so much for being so supportive and encouraging always! Means A LOT!***

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you 🙏

Lots of love!

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probably-writing-x · 5 years ago

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Live Capture.

Arón Piper x Reader

Request by anon: would you be able to do an Aron Piper imagine where his girlfriend is a YouTuber but she’s very shy to show him on her channel as a way of protection even though he’s used to the public & then they go out in public & a fan starts to record them...you can take it on from there :) hope you’re staying safe xx

Gif is not my own

Requests are open 🤍

“On your left, on your left!” You call through your microphone, “Yes, downed him, another team coming up behind us.”

Your friend speaks through your headset and updates you on his own progress as both of you were midway through a game on Warzone. You took a moment to glance at the chat on your livestream to YouTube and smiled at a few of the messages before turning back to focus on the game.

“Alright we’ve got enough for a loadout,” You comment, “Cover me.”

He follows your advice and does exactly that, only moments before you’re shot at from another direction and both of you are killed.

“Shit man,” You groan, “I really wasn’t on it that game.”

“Still top ten though,” Your friend points out, “Alright, Imma head off for the night. I’ll catch you tomorrow.”

You say your goodbyes and turn back to your chat, reading a few of the comments you’d missed, “I think I’m going to turn in for the night too, thank you guys so much for watching this livestream. And I’ll be uploading a video tomorrow at 6pm so keep your eyes peeled for that one. Good night guys!”

You turn off your stream and shut down everything on your PC, the true sign that you’d be turning in for the night. You grab the empty plate from where your dinner had been and the empty drinks from over the course of the hours that you’d been on stream.

“Hey honey, any luck?” Arón asks from the couch, where he lay with his arm tucked under his head, turned to watch the TV screen.

“We got a couple of wins,” You nod, “Nothing great. I didn’t know you’d still be up.”

“And go to bed without you? Would I ever?” He laughs, “C’mhere.”

You yawn and walk over until you’re close enough that he can reach out and pull you down to lay with him, letting you rest on top of his chest, “What are you watching?”

“One of your videos,” He chuckles, “There was nothing on TV and I didn’t want to watch any of that series without you, so I’m watching your channel.”

“Why?” You smile, looking at which video he’d chosen.

“This is from that day we went to the beach and you were teaching me how to surf. I dont know how you managed to keep me out of the whole video!” He exclaims, “Genuinely there’s not even a glimpse of me.”

“Because I spent about four hours rewatching it and re-editing it to make sure. I’m very secretive when I need to be,” You remind him, leaning up to kiss at his jaw, “They all still ask questions.”

He hums in response, “Do you want to go to bed darling?”

Your eyes are already fluttering shut as he asks the question and he somehow has to figure out how to get you from the couch to your bed without disturbing you too much. It was a regular occurrence after you streamed late at night, and he’d grown to be very good at taking care of you after you’d drained yourself after a long day.

You’d been dating for a little under a year now but it felt like you’d loved him for a lifetime. He’d quickly become everything you could ask for in a boyfriend and the two of you somehow became the perfect match for each other. With him as an actor, and you as a YouTuber, both of you lived very unconventional lives at times - but that’s what made it work so well. You’d kept your relationship away from the public for this entire time, not wanting to risk it ending up like the majority of YouTube relationships nowadays. You liked the fact that your relationship still felt like your own, and you didn’t have to fear the audience response to seeing you with a boyfriend. They’d never seen that side of your life, and truth be told, you were fearful of showing them. For now, it felt so much more comfortable to keep Arón separate. Like it still meant you had him all to yourself.

- - - - - -

The next day, after waking up a little too late, you make sure to post your video on time and read through the comments as soon as it reaches your audience. It had been a fitness challenge that you’d had to ask Arón to help you film when you were at the gym. He’d spent half the time zooming into your face far too close or stopping filming because you’d made him laugh and you could hear him on the recording. Somehow, you’d still managed to avoid showing him in the footage and made sure that he couldn’t be heard too much through the microphone.

“What do you fancy for dinner, darling?” Arón asks as he steps into your filming room and sees you sat at your desk in your gaming chair.

“I’m just reading through the response to the video,” You explain as he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your shoulders, you run your hands along his arms as they encase you.

“Are they all talking about my brilliant filming skills?” He grins, kissing your cheek.

You point out one comment that questions in all capital letters ‘who does she have filming this? Y’all seriously can’t tell me she’s still single!!!!!’

Arón laughs and clicks to read the responses to the comment, pausing on one that is a timestamp from the video. A specific second in the footage that you find yourself skipping to on the video timeline to find exactly what one of your fans was talking about. Quite rightly so, at that exact second, you can just about make out Arón in the reflection of one of the mirrors in the gym. His face isn’t visible but his distinctive curls are obvious enough.

“Shit, do you think they know it’s you?” You ask, sitting more upright in your chair as you look through the rest of the comments about that exact moment.

Some people were suggesting different names, different people that could take the face of that curly hair - but only a few had actually suggested Arón. Someone mentioned the fact that you’d been at the Élite premiere and pointed out that you could’ve been going as his date rather than just a guest at the event - that was, in fact, the truth. Someone else mentioned how Omar followed you on Instagram - the initial way you’d met Arón.

“Oh come on, look, they’re saying loads of names,” He points out, “Theyre all just guessing, my name was bound to be in there at some point.”

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea that they’d be able to see y-“

“Hey,” Arón turns your chair around so you’re facing him, “It’s fine, honestly. I don’t care, okay?”

“Are you sure?” You sigh, smiling as he cups your face in his hands.

“Positive,” He nods, leaning in and kissing you, “I say we just order in for dinner.”

You laugh and let him pull you up to stand, “Good idea.”

- - - - - -

The following day, you and Arón are on your way to your parents place for your father’s birthday. You manage to get up at a semi-acceptable time and keep yourself away from social media to avoid all of the questions about your mystery boyfriend. You step into the taxi and try to keep yourself relaxed.

“Hey! I know you!” The taxi driver speaks up, glancing in the mirror at Arón, “You’re on Netflix. My daughter watches your show all the time!”

“Thanks man, that means a lot,” Arón smiles politely, glancing at you for a second.

The man rambles on a little more about the show and how much he’d learnt about it from his daughter, laughing at how jealous she’d be that he’d met Arón.

“And is this your girlfriend?” The taxi driver asks, glancing at you in the mirror too.

“No, just a friend,” Arón nods, forcing a little smile in your direction, “So, have you been busy today?”

You’re relieved that he steers the topic away from you and tries to keep some level of awkward small talk with the driver as you eventually pull up in town.

“You can just drop us here, buddy, thank you,” Arón comments, getting out of the car and waiting for you.

“That’s a sign! That’s a sign, people know about us,” You state simply as you step out of the car, “I’m certain.”

“(Y/n)!” Arón laughs, “It’s fine! We have no certainty that people know we’re together, and we’ll let it stay that way. Stop worrying honey, you’ll give yourself a heart attack.”

You sigh and try to relax under the influence of his words.

“You’re cute when you get stressed,” He chuckles, reaching for your hand and squeezing it, “Really cute.”

You cock a brow, “You know, maybe I should tell everyone about us - feed you to the lions type of attitude.”

Arón laughs, “They’ll fucking love me!”

He cups your jaw with his free hand and dips his head to press a kiss to your waiting lips. It’s soft and it gives the sincerity to his words that his tone hadn’t done. You were so worried about everyone finding out about you, mainly because you were terrified of it ruining a time in your life where you were happier than you’d ever been. It was silly but you liked the idea of preventing your relationship from being strained by the public view. For now, it felt so much easier to keep this between you. When it had first started, you wanted to keep things private until you knew that this was something real and something you were sure of. But when you’d started to feel that way, it felt even more important to keep that private - knowing that you cared too much about Arón to jeopardise anything.

“Come on, lets go grab some food,” He encourages, locking his hand with yours before swinging an arm over your shoulder so that your interlocked hands rested just over your heart, “What are the odds that the taxi driver was actually a fan? I bet he doesn’t even have a daughter!” Arón jokes and yet again manages to say exactly what you needed to hear to ease your stress.

- - - - - -

A little later, as you’re sat at your parents house with your parents and your siblings, Arón comes walking through from the kitchen with your nephew in his arms.

“There she is!” He grins when he sees you, letting your nephew run over until he jumps into your arms.

“Where have you two been?” You laugh, looking at his disheveled Arón appeared.

“We’ve been on the trampoline,” Arón groans, flopping down beside you, “I think I’m too old for that now.”

“You think?” You smirk, “You’re a mess!”

He grabs your phone from the side and checks his appearance in the black screen. Your nephew giggles and reaches over to grab at his messy curls. Arón smiles and goes to tickle him, only glancing away when he sees your phone ping in his hand.

“Jeez, you’re popular today,” He comments, showing you the endless list of notifications on your phone.

“Probably just the boys asking about playing later, can you open it for me?” You ask, shifting your nephew so he was now stood on your thighs facing you as you make silly faces at him to keep him occupied.

“Oh shit...” Arón mumbles.

“Arón!” You hiss, making wide eyes in the direction of your nephew.

“Sorry, babe, but you need to see this,” You set your nephew down and he runs off to his own mother before you take your phone from Arón.

His reaction now seemed completely justified. In a group chat with a bunch of your friends from YouTube, you’re being bombarded with messages. Some of them are accompanied by photos but the majority are accompanied by laughing emojis. Quite rightly so as the photos show clear shots of you and Arón from earlier. The images had clearly been taken from across the street when you’d first got out of the taxi. One of you laughing at something he’d said, one of you kissing, another of you kissing, and a few of you walking away with his arm around you.

“Who took those?!” You exclaim, “I didn’t even see anybody... or hear anybody...”

“Hey, hey, look,” Arón nudges you, handing you his own phone that showed all of his mentions on Instagram.

You’d already been tagged in a flurry of posts about the situation - 100% of them being purely positive and excited for both of you. People saying how perfect you were for each other. Some pointing out moments from your streams and from YouTube where it was obvious you were talking to someone behind the camera - who they now understood to be Arón.

“They’re all so excited,” You half-laugh, “Look, theres even a fucking video of us!”

You show him a video a fan had taken of you two together that’s accompanied by the caption - ‘I wanted to speak to them but they’re just so fricking cute I didn’t want to disturb them!!!’

You smile at all of the supportive messages from your fans, commenting on how happy they were for you, though some were jealous of you being Arón’s girlfriend.

“Well, looks like that turned out better than we expected,” Arón comments, “Should we say anything?”

You look at him and grin, flicking your Instagram camera on as you pose for the photo. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and rests his head against yours as you both smile at the screen.

You type out a quick caption ‘You got us...’ and post it to your story. Though you lock your phone before you can become too bombarded by replies to the image.

“Shit, does this mean I can play Warzone with you now?!”

“You’re still terrible, maybe when you get a bit better,” You laugh, kissing him quickly.

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years ago

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Liam & Edie

Liam: I dunno how to thank you for the surprise 🎁 as it’s still giving

Liam: what’s her fave scary movie? I never did get as far as jumpscares and chill

Edie: I wish I coulda taken 🧨 to her for you, see if she melted cool too

Edie: All I know is she hasn’t learnt a single thing from any of ‘em, which is unsurprising

Edie: Curtains open? ✔️ Door unlocked? ✔️ Home alone? ✔️

Edie: She should know only virgins survive 💀

Liam: asking for it from her hairsprayed roots to her painted toenails

Liam: but I left her standing for the 6 sequels

Edie: ☢️ fumes makes it even more of a shame

Edie: and that for her, alive, but at what cost

Liam: the twins play with dolls? you could melt her lookalike for me

Edie: I knew you’d like it

Liam: I like that she thinks it was me, that I’ve ever cared

Edie: Yes, you’ve really been biding your time in the shadows 🧛‍♂️

Liam: what shadows, you’re lighting everything up 🔥🎇🎆

Edie: That’s you

Edie: literally and you know, gay shit 😳

Edie: How’d I miss you, when did you drop the box off?

Liam: when I sent you hunting, in case the gay shit was turning too hardcore

Edie: Was it?

Liam: not for me

Edie: not for me

Edie: I’ve not stopped thinking about you since we met

Edie: as you can see

Liam: numbers don’t lie, you’ll see I’ve been listening to your tracks since you sent them

Edie: If I sing loud enough will you come find me

Liam: if I don’t show up rapid enough would you lose your voice

Liam: before that happens I wanna hear the thoughts you’ve been having

Edie: If that happened, I think I could still show you

Liam: what you could do is where my thinking stops

Edie: What are you doing today

Edie: Thinking is overrated

Liam: my dad unlocked his memories of me and wants to make more

Edie: Great timing

Edie: Is he at least taking you bowling?

Edie: The single dad’s first and last idea of what to do with their kids to seem ‘fun’

Liam: was about this time last year, scrolling back

Liam: he’s taking me ⛺️

Edie: Thank God for campfires

Edie: don’t forget your 🔦 for the scary stories

Liam: and the faked found footage

Liam: don’t forget about me

Edie: It IS a great location, give him that, but I’d need an invite for top marks

Edie: I couldn’t

Edie: How are you feeling about it though, really

Liam: scary stories do start with 🚗 and you’d fit in the boot easy

Liam: how long can you hold your breath?

Edie: [send a video as you did with the staring contest]

Edie: I’ll find the nearest body of water and work on it

Liam: long enough to fool him, but I’m not gonna tell you not to play dead in your 🛁 like a killjoy

Edie: What else can I do in your absence?

Edie: we’ll be having about as good a time as each other, that’s something

Liam: to Alexis or to me

Edie: Both if I do it right

Liam: how extra she is will make up for everything I’m not

Edie: you are everything

Edie: sorry

Liam: only from behind a lens or a screen, sorry

Liam: take away the sfx and yeah, we’ll be having as good a time as each other

Edie: Are you afraid?

Liam: I’m not anything, that’s what I’m trying to get across to you

Liam: you’ve got killer eyes with so much behind them, I don’t

Edie: There’s something

Edie: here, between us, even if it’s not of us

Edie: it’s real, we should follow it ‘til it isn’t

Liam: 🦎🧠

Liam: reflex behaviours ain’t enough for someone as braindead as Lex

Liam: you’re smart

Edie: they’re enough for me

Liam: if I had anything to give you, I would

Edie: I don’t want anything

Edie: I’m not like her

Edie: Whilst you’re around, I want to be around too, that’s it

Edie: you don’t have to do or be anything, I swear

Liam: I want to want things

Liam: but I don’t have the cheat codes for 🐒🧠

Edie: However small that bit of you is, it clearly exists, to even want it at all

Edie: I have nothing to lose with trying with you

Liam: yours is massive

Edie: I’m younger, there’s time for my hope to die

Liam: I’m not letting that happen

Edie: Protect me

Edie: and let me try for you

Liam: I have nothing to lose, already lost it

Edie: has it always been like this or could you access 🐒🧠 before

Liam: my ma didn’t raise a 👶 psycho, I used to react normally to stuff

Edie: You could again then

Edie: not saying it’d be easy or any patronizing shit like that though

Liam: but are you saying you’ll help me or any gay shit like that

Edie: Yeah

Edie: don’t worry, my god complex won’t make it culty

Liam: offer it me and I’ll drink it

Edie: Going ‘round acting like my cunt is magical seems like a Lexie kind of move

Edie: Everyone else is boring, you’re not, and I’m not, if nothing else

Edie: I’ll be better company than her or KM or any other twat

Liam: it was, doing the most to make herself killable is her only move

Liam: but I couldn’t do it and you were already better company anonymously

Edie: She’s a grief thief

Edie: and I’m definitely doing more than call her next time

Liam: she don’t matter, it was never about her

Edie: no, ‘course not

Edie: it’s about you for me though

Edie: I’ll fuck up anyone you want

Liam: start with my dad and I can skip this guilt trip

Edie: Okay, let’s think

Edie: it wouldn’t take a lot, if he only manages once a year as an average

Edie: has he got a new missus?

Liam: she wasn’t his but he liked my sister more, thinking about it

Liam: not that I know about, maybe it’s how short he is

Edie: a kid that isn’t here is easier to love because there’s less to do, nothing to do now

Edie: you reckon he’d call it off for a potential hook-up then?

Edie: might be desperate

Liam: there’s no calling it off, he’s too scared of my ma still and she’s had these days circled and !!ed

Edie: She’ll fuck me up if I ruin your bonding sesh?

Edie: I could catfish her instead but how exciting can a middle-aged man ever feasibly be 🤔😒

Liam: big tesco is gone, how many other places do you wanna have to avoid

Liam: I know something else you can do for me

Edie: I’ll take my chances 👊

Edie: Go on

Liam: if you set up to record and I stream it as often as the fucked wifi will allow we can kid ourselves I’m at your window 👀

Edie: We’re definitely doing that

Edie: You have the best ideas, seriously

Edie: not knowing when you’re watching and what you’re gonna see… 🥴

Edie: mine isn’t as good but [one of the nights he’ll clearly be away like if not tonight, tomorrow or whatever] you should be able to see this comet really clear at [a time] we can watch together

Edie: I’ll take the stream outside

Liam: your idea overtakes mine by miles, I’ll lose my dad in the woods or something before then

Liam: and if he stays MIA I’ll try and call you, when you’re not busy talking to Lexie

Edie: There’ll be a pub or something nearby, failing that, find a high point and push, you can be back by the time he regains consciousness

Edie: I’ll leave her alone now, if you want

Edie: I just don’t like her for you

Liam: she’s not for me, you can have her to do what you want with until I get back

Edie: 😈

Edie: She’s not invited to that either but I’ve got some ideas

Liam: me too

Edie: Surprise or secret?

Liam: neither, I wanna spend time with you, in person

Edie: When are you back?

Liam: 4 days

Edie: 4 days, I can do that

Edie: just about

Edie: patience isn’t my strong suit but I’ve been waiting a lot longer to meet you, it feels like somehow

Liam: when he drops me off, I’m yours

Edie: You won’t regret it

Edie: Summers not over yet, there’s so much we can do

Liam: I won’t regret focusing on you instead of school either

Edie: School is a different kind of torture

Edie: at least now I can see you every day

Liam: torture walking away after I have seen you

Edie: I won’t make you

Edie: we can stick together

Liam: we will

Edie: I miss you

Edie: even though I’ve not actually met you in person yet, and you’re not gone either

Edie: still

Liam: [send her your own version of the staring contest footage like I’m going nowhere bitch]

Edie: There’s something behind them, I swear I can see it

Edie: Do you believe me?

Liam: I said I’d keep your hope alive

Edie: It’s okay if you don’t, I know my 👀 don’t deceive me

Liam: your eyes are something else, they’ll wear my zoom and pause out on this 📷

Edie: I wish I had the words to explain how you made me feel, and I could explain it so good that you could feel it back

Edie: because it feels really good

Liam: we’ve got time, for you to find words or show me without

Edie: if 🎇🎆 wasn’t so overdone

Edie: or maybe when you’re on a 🎢 the second you drop and it feels like the world has fallen out from under you and there’s nothing you can do

Liam: when you’re finally coming up after waiting twice as long as usual for the 💊 to kick in and thinking you got scammed

Edie: exactly like that, but you’ve just taken a 2nd and you know it’s going to get even more intense

Liam: I’ll hunt for 🍄 while I’m here, you trust me not to accidentally kill you, yeah?

Edie: I do

Edie: have you done lots of 🍄s?

Liam: made tea out of some but fuck all happened, they were probably from big tesco, I was younger and didn’t know anything

Edie: 😆

Edie: Me either, but more because my dad only deals in synthetic crap, not because I’m young and don’t know anything

Edie: not a total drug noob, only hold my hand if you want to

Liam: I only got them up bc my sister wanted to put a twist on the tea parties she forced me into as a 👶 I was a drug noob

Edie: How annoying they didn’t work, that would’ve been fun

Edie: maybe more for your sister than you but still

Liam: she was 💔 but it ended up being fun after I cheered her up with my 👒👙 recreation

Edie: How could that not cheer anyone 😅

Edie: when you’re back I’m gonna need to see that myself, honestly

Liam: I’m not gonna fit in the one from then, but I’ll be able to get another 👙 close match to the 👶 pic or show you the vid of us if not

Edie: I’d like to see it, I bet you were real cute kids

Liam: she was

Edie: do you have lots of videos of you guys as kids?

Liam: not really, either they didn’t want it to be like they were hoarding the happy shit for when she wasn’t here anymore, or they thought they wouldn’t have to bc there’d be loads more of it, I don’t know

Edie: Either makes sense, you’re not planning for that to happen and then I can see why you wouldn’t want to when it becomes apparent

Edie: I wish I’d known her more than just another face and name at school, she sounds cool

Liam: you can get to know her, from me picking up my first 📹 there wasn’t much that didn’t get videoed, it was how she wanted it

Edie: I respect it

Edie: and you do have a good eye, you made me look 🤩 from the most basic footage

Liam: you don’t need editing, but I was trying to show off to you

Edie: I thought you were impressive before that point, but it still worked

Edie: especially when most act like face-tuning a selfie is a great feat of skill

Liam: [a selfie facetuned to a pisstakey degree so it looks wild]

Edie: [very much imagining that pillow face filter/handsome squidward]

Edie: 😱 catfished again, gdi

Liam: this has to work, me and you meeting, I can’t rewind to before we talked as if we never have

Edie: There is no going back

Edie: It will work, we’ll make it

Liam: it gets thrown out casually and fucking constantly, but I haven’t found anyone like you before

Edie: It has to mean something that it was you, and me

Edie: it’s so improbable, and we could’ve gone our whole life living in the same place and not ever getting to know each other

Liam: it means I’m not letting go of this, it’s me and you now

Edie: I want that too, I need to

Edie: nothing else makes sense, it’s not complete, it’s not right, I don’t want it

Liam: even if I’m 🤖 I’ll be trying to override my shite programming, harder than I’ve done, to do this right

Edie: 🍄💊 aren’t the only things that can rewire us

Edie: I’m not going anywhere, I won’t leave you, even if it takes forever, even if it never happens

Edie: trying with you is better than feeling like a failure with anyone else

Liam: anyone who’s made you feel like a failure is getting worse than the Lexie treatment

Edie: we’ll make sure the school doesn’t find the hit-list 😏

Edie: it’s like, everyone is so comfortable, and they do the same boring shit every day and never get tired of it, but none of it fucking matters

Liam: 🏫🔥

Liam: I’m down to make everyone uncomfortable

Edie: They need it

Edie: not that they’ll appreciate it but that’s not the point

Edie: I wanna make you feel everything

Liam: you’re so alive, that’s the point for me

Edie: I can be that

Edie: and I can share

Liam: I wanna be a reason you are

Edie: I’m so mad at your dad, full offense

Liam: get in line, but cut in front of me so I can 👀 at you

Edie: You can do more than look when I’m really in front of you

Liam: I keep thinking about what happens if I can’t

Edie: There’s still things we can do

Edie: that only require you to want to

Edie: and you can tell me if you don’t

Liam: I don’t wanna tell you things that’ll make you feel bad

Edie: I don’t wanna make you feel bad either

Edie: or force you to do something

Liam: you won’t, I’m not 😡 at my dad for forcing me to do this instead of being there with you

Liam: block works for negative emotions too

Edie: Okay, but still, it’d make me feel bad if you felt like you were performing for me

Edie: we don’t want that

Edie: when we do meet, you control it, okay?

Edie: Do what feels right

Liam: no crap ARG acting, I can agree to not do that

Edie: Good

Edie: so, you leveled up with drugs, what about girls or did that first nightmare put you off fully

Edie: I mean like, do you hook up with people or is it all ❌

Liam: she put me off, or how desperately I could tell she wanted me to want her did, she’d touch me and nothing would happen and she’d look at me like 🥺

Edie: It’s pressure

Edie: but I don’t think any boy has met her expectations, judging by how fast she gets through them so

Liam: pressure I piled on myself in the first place, thinking about my sister and how nobody ever wanted to touch her, like it was catching or when the lad she was into wouldn’t ask her out and I asked him why and he admitted it was bc he was shitting himself she’d drop dead, so I thought I should, bc she wanted to live those cliches and fucking couldn’t, I don’t know

Edie: People are shit

Edie: they don’t do or say the right things and they can’t handle the stuff you and your sister had no choice but to

Edie: and it’s fucking unfair there’s so much stuff she wanted to do and didn’t get to

Edie: of course the weight of that is going to make that near impossible

Edie: it sounds horrible but you aren’t dying though, and neither am I

Edie: so make the list, see it through, but the pressure is off with time

Liam: r/emo teens would have a post like, we are both dying, just at a slower rate than her

Edie: 🙄 they can do one, I’m never dying

Liam: yeah, please don’t

Edie: I promise

Edie: my ma’s wife died and I can barely remember her but enough that it fucks with my head

Edie: like she was always there, and some memories I have, she would’ve been, and it’s like, fragments, if I try really hard

Edie: but it could all be made up, I don’t know

Liam: I remember her so vividly I think I know what she’d do or say if she was in memories she’s not, but do I

Liam: or am I just lying to myself bc she should be there and it’d be less shit if she was

Edie: You were close, you did know her that well, that’s obvious

Liam: maybe she’d wanna tell me I fucked it and not to do all the shit I’ve done with her name attached to it

Edie: maybe

Edie: but right or wrong you’re the one that’s here and still has to do shit

Liam: if she becomes a fragment to me I don’t wanna be here

Edie: I don’t know if it’ll happen, I don’t think so though

Edie: I was a toddler, you weren’t

Edie: you have more to keep hold of

Liam: if I live for 50 more years then I won’t, I’ll have new memories pushing out the old and outdated tech

Edie: You aren’t relying on just your 🧠

Edie: You have 📷🎞📹📼

Edie: and you can make that last forever

Liam: do you have that of your step-ma

Edie: Yeah, she was more camera-shy than my ma, but there’s still lots of it

Edie: and she’s everywhere, you know, throughout the house and stuff

Edie: memories are important but so are those more physical, tangible reminders

Liam: my ma’s kept her room but she don’t exist downstairs, as if the 🚪 is to a hidden level and you have to earn your way there 💎💰❤️

Edie: It’s good you have somewhere

Edie: and your memorial

Liam: you should meet me there, my house, on day 5

Edie: okay

Edie: 😍😸🤩

Liam: pick a time bc I’ve stolen the place

Edie: I just hope it’s a time you’re there and not just your ma because who knows how much of me will be left to come back to at that point

Liam: I’ll be there to protect you, get used to that

Edie: I’ll try my hardest but wow

Edie: Right now that still gets me so

Edie: I’ve never had this before but I love how it feels

Edie: As for a time how’s [a time so early to prove how badly and ASAP we wanna see him] or [a more socially acceptable suggestion] if not?

Liam: [soz to his mother but we are obvs picking the early af time and so soz to his dad too if it means he has to bring you back early] is cool with me

Edie: Serious?

Edie: I’ll see you then

Edie: should I wear something so your ma doesn’t hate me forreal though

Edie: 👒👗🥿

Liam: she’ll be happy I invited someone over, wear what makes you feel how you want to

Edie: 🎩🦺👙🧤🩰

Edie: Cool though, I’ll bake her something, tell me if she has any deadly allergies or hates now, like

Liam: 🚫👓🕶🥽🤿 I’d hate it

Edie: I know what you wanna see, don’t worry

Liam: everything

Edie: everything

Liam: ㊙️

Edie: 🎋

Liam: I wish you were here 🌠

Liam: I could be filming you instead of what’s going past the car window

Edie: definitely B-roll compared to me

Edie: but think of all the laughable monsters you can stick in the frame 🏞👹🏞

Liam: I’ll think of you laughing

Edie: I won’t use my wish on hoping you think about me then

Liam: unless there’s another specific thing you want me to imagine you doing

Edie: If I tell you now, you’ll know

Edie: you’ll have to tell me what you thought about when you get back instead

Edie: see if it came true

Liam: or I’ll show you when I get back, make it come true

Edie: that’d be a lot of wishes coming true

Liam: we’ve got a couple of weeks before summer ends

Edie: There is a lot we can do in a couple weeks

Liam: even more if we don’t waste time going back and forth between my house and yours

Edie: Another thing I can do before you get back

Edie: find somewhere to stay

Liam: you won’t even have time to feel tortured without me

Edie: and where’s the fun in that, right

Edie: you still need to hurry 😜

Liam: it’d be popular on the thread, beautiful girl in ⛓ but I’ve probably got competition enough from other lads with your tracks blowing up

Edie: you have literally no competition

Liam: I still need to hurry though 😏

Edie: only ‘cos I only want you and I’ll be lonely and bored

Edie: some of these dms could fuel an incel-gone-rogue storyline though, they wildin 😅

Liam: I’m about to subvert the cliche and make my dad turn the car round

Edie: + XP

Edie: power move on 💯

Liam: [sends her a virus or something] don’t click it, but do what you’ve gotta until it looks irresistible to the 👹

Edie: the sexy singles in MY area have prepared me for this moment

Edie: not to hit you with the 🥺 but you’re so sweet sorry

Liam: if Lexie’s denied me 🥺 off you forever, I’ll hit her with a 🔨

Edie: Tempting, very tempting

Edie: [showing him the bratz doll she’s found in some charity shop moment]

Edie: 🍀

Edie: If this works as a voodoo doll she’ll be 🥺 for the 🔨 by the end of today tbh

Liam: I’ll be 🥺 if you keep working this hard

Edie: gotta make you proud

Edie: also if I can find a way to get it into her house when I’m done fucking with it it’s game over 🤣

Liam: [tell her about some way that you sneaked in so her parents didn’t know about it when you were going out so she can use that]

Edie: [pretend we are not thinking about that lmao] 👍👍

Edie: you wouldn’t even need a ladder

Liam: don’t be upset

Edie: I’m not

Edie: you’ll sneak in my window soon

Liam: we’ll have a place of our own, just me and you

Edie: what do you want

Edie: town, country, cursed, uncursed

Liam: pick the 🏡 making you feel like you’re home and you don’t ever wanna go

Edie: 🥰

Edie: no spoilers whilst you’re away

Liam: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Edie: don’t break my willpower I barely have

Edie: I wanna give you all the surprises and it might be a fixer-upper

Liam: I’ll stop testing you, I know you’re gonna pass

Edie: You don’t have to, I can take it, like

Liam: you’re gonna say no spoilers on how you’re gonna prove it and break the 🖤 I don’t have

Edie: Never

Edie: I don’t quite know what you want yet but I’ll do anything you ask, you can test that

Liam: you’ll do anything for me

Edie: I will

Edie: I’m probably not supposed to say that, right

Edie: but it’s true and you should know

Liam: abusing what you’ve said would fall into letting your hope die, which you know I’m not gonna do

Liam: you can trust I’ll keep you safe

Edie: I trust you

Liam: that’s what I want

Edie: 🌠🧚‍♀️

Edie: Does your da still live in Dubo?

Liam: Greystones

Edie: Fancy

Edie: Not going to find anything like that for us

Liam: a holiday cottage that’s empty’s easy pickings

Edie: let’s go

Edie: this place is trash

Liam: when school starts everyone’ll have gone out of them all

Liam: and most don’t change their alarm codes from the default

Edie: we’ll have the whole town to ourselves between 9-5

Edie: can we can we 😍😍

Liam: Yeah, if they’re not gonna treat them like somewhere they wanna be more than a week out of the year, why shouldn’t we

Edie: so wasteful

Edie: why would you even want that kind of money

Edie: I want what you said, somewhere that feels like home and you never wanna leave

Edie: no matter how nice the location or whatever else of anywhere else, home is still the best

Liam: it’ll be homey, how you said, things around that remind you of me and the memories we’ve made in it

Edie: It can all be real, can’t it

Liam: or pretend if you want 🏠🧸🎠🍭

Edie: I’m never opposed to pretending

Edie: it’s weird

Edie: I feel like I know what I want already but that’s a new thing

Edie: like a ⚡️ hit and everything makes sense now

Edie: maybe it’s superpowers

Liam: what else do you want

Liam: a garden to bury Lexie in and

Edie: obviously 😏

Edie: NOT a basement to bury the kids in though

Liam: they’ll be with us, getting their wellies on so they can splash in the massive puddles

Edie: and go rock pooling

Edie: and then take the dog on a massive walk so we can come home and fall asleep on the sofa in front of an old movie

Liam: you’ll be watching the movie I’ll be looking at you

Edie: but then I’ll look up at you

Liam: and we’ll both be thinking about how we’re gonna edit the footage from today bc we don’t wanna cut nothing out

Liam: except maybe the dog getting bullied by a 🦀

Edie: 🤭 save his shame at the dog park

Liam: kids’ll have no fear

Edie: all they’ll know is love and good times and fun

Liam: we should bury something other than 💀🦴 they can dig up when they’re not 👶

Edie: an actually cool time-capsule

Edie: just with all the things we want to show them, that they won’t remember, or happened before them

Edie: if we get the right storage, we could even bury the 📼s

Liam: yeah, we can do it right

Edie: why not us

Liam: we’re different, we already know it

Edie: you make different feel alright

Edie: well, better than actually but you know

Liam: if I can’t do this with you, I’ll never be able to do it, more pressure than 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 sorry, but if we’re keeping it real

Liam: this is the closest I’ve come to a rebooted 🧠 since it was fucked up

Edie: If we can’t we’ll just 💀💀

Liam: you promised you wouldn’t and I already should’ve

Edie: Then I can’t fail

Liam: you test too well

Edie: and we’ve got time

Edie: if you don’t feel it straight away

Edie: have to give me a fair chance yeah

Liam: I’m not just saying I’ll meet you bc I know you want to, that’s more of a chance than I’ve given anyone in years

Liam: and you can have all my time after if you ain’t decided you don’t want it, I’m not lying about handing it over to you either

Edie: The only way that would happen is if you were a massive disappointment

Edie: and I know you won’t be, so all I have to do is make sure I’m not

Edie: It’s going to work, I can feel it

Liam: [shows her that he’s been playing her songs over and over during this entire car journey because of course he has and also let’s pretend he’s rigged up some way of counting how often he’s watched those not blinking or breathing vids so he can show her that too bc he wants to feel something honey and he wants her to know]

Edie: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Edie: I need to write you more

Liam: who sorts your shows for you, you should build on this hype

Liam: and give me a chance to see you perform live

Edie: I don’t have management, but I’ve done a lot of gigs with the same people at the same places so we kinda hook each other up, keep in the know

Edie: There is a show [a few days after his bday moment] in [a town a few over]

Edie: I weren’t sure if I could get there but we can, if you wanna see me

Liam: [deets of people he knows who might or might not be genuinely helpful for booking stuff and letting you play places cos might as well make use of all those connections boy]

Liam: cool, I’ll get us there, even if none of the @s I dropped on you go anywhere else longer term, but they should, you’re mindblowing

Liam: by next year they’ll have built a festival round you here and my dad will have to give camping a fucking rest

Edie: You’re actually incredible

Edie: No one ever takes my shit seriously

Edie: I mean family, friends, it’s just this fun thing I do to them

Edie: but you get it, there’s no alternative, I have to get this shit out, to say and show it

Edie: Only if he buys a 🎫 but he’s not getting VIP with you

Liam: I understand

Liam: nobody respects mine, which I get when there’s probably 45k off the thread running round with a camera and I ain’t got your talent with it

Edie: You do have talent though

Edie: but I respect it regardless

Edie: we have to make cool shit together

Edie: not just 👶👶👶👶👶👶👶

Liam: I’ll put together something to play behind you at the show, how long are you gonna be up there

Edie: it’s 15 if you’re lucky 10 if you’re not, so you need 5 songs prepped to go but you might only play 2 or 3

Liam: what songs, are you surprising me

Edie: [send him a list of 4 so clearly one is a surprise]

Edie: so you can compliment them with what you make

Liam: 🤩

Liam: wtf did I listen to before you hit me with your link

Liam: you’re fucking sick at this

Edie: idk but I can soundtrack your whole life now

Edie: all I can write rn is 🥰🥺 cos that’s how you’ve made me

Liam: I’m down but if we go with it you should probably have less 👶👶👶👶👶👶👶 to soundtrack the lives of

Edie: okay just one

Edie: the perfect 👶 with the perfect life

Liam: perfect bc she’s got your 👀 and 🧠 and 💓

Edie: so we might need to have two

Edie: I want them to be perfect like you

Liam: 👶👶 wouldn’t ruin you physically or musically, she can have a brother

Edie: 💕👦👧🐶🧒👱‍♀️💕

Edie: that feels good

Liam: I used to really want a 🐶 when I was younger and my ma got me one of those 🤖 ones, it's probably still barking in a box somewhere

Edie: Awh, we’ve gotta find him and free him!

Edie: I had so many weird robot toys but they’ve all been used for parts by now for sure 🤖💔

Liam: he's not been melted, gotta be some proof I felt things before

Edie: You did, you clearly did

Edie: when you talk about your sister, it shows

Liam: I'd offer to talk my dad about you and see what shows but he's too easy to trick

Liam: most people are if it stops at a convo

Edie: Not caring is more convenient

Edie: not even like people are trying to be bastards, but if they don’t know what to say or do then it’s easier to take you at that one convo and pretend

Liam: I don't remember him ever not being his own bonus level of crap, but it's like you said, nobody else is loads better

Edie: Did he stick around, when your sister got sick?

Liam: for a while, when hospital wards covered in shit like 🌞🌈🦋 wasn’t a fuck you and 👨‍⚕️👩‍⚕️ had answers he didn’t mind hearing

Edie: ‘til it got really real and really hard

Edie: gotcha

Liam: he’d show up with a 🎈 before the end so that makes it alright

Edie: 🤡 energy

Liam: ordered pennywise but charlie chalk showed

Edie: [sad clown noise voice note like womp womp]

Liam: [a video or pic of his dad like putting the tent up or something with that voice memo playing over and his eyes crossed out like miss you because bringing that detail back from when we first did these two]

Edie: [it’s a good detail, so we must, just adding some more detail like a red nose or whatever so you can have a lil back and forth here]

Liam: [add clown shoes or something boy because we love a cute back and forth, very JJ of you]

Edie: [not seeing those parallels for no reason later lmao, fully clownify this oblivious man soz not soz]

Liam: [honestly deserved I’d rather have an Ian than such a wet wipe of a person]

Edie: [tbh, wet hen]

Edie: you were not lying though, your da is so short

Liam: not lied about nothing

Edie: I’d never guess you were related

Edie: too bad for mine we look like him

Liam: I’ll ask for the 🎁 of a tube full of spit but he ain’t as happy to do what I ask as you are

Edie: Spoilsport

Liam: won’t be harder to be a better dad than him, however fucked I am

Edie: that’s the thing

Edie: it doesn’t even take that much

Edie: I could do it better now

Liam: I’d stay, even when it’s ugly or I don’t know what to do, I could make you that promise now before we’ve met

Edie: Me too

Edie: It’s like, the least you can do and loads don’t even do that

Liam: maybe I shouldn’t bother getting my 🖤 back, keep caring about nothing instead of only caring about myself

Edie: you’re not going to be like that

Edie: you weren’t before

Liam: how are you this sure

Edie: I don’t know how I just am

Liam: it’s gonna be the longest 4 days

Edie: [a timer you’ve made as you can]

Edie: 🥺

Edie: make him keep you busy, and I’ll keep busy with all the plans and surprises

Liam: I’ll keep busy thinking about finally seeing you

Edie: and watching the stream when you can

Edie: I’ll make sure it’s entertaining

Liam: let me know when you’re set up

Edie: I will, not home yet

Edie: hope my fam only embarrasses themselves in entertaining ways too if you see them

Liam: not calling you an 🚑 but I’m calling it you’ll steal every scene better than they do

Edie: 😇

Edie: I better

Liam: at most anyone else is gonna register to me as a shite ARG sound effect 👻🚪

Edie: That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about my fam

Edie: they might disagree but that can be explained away as the wind or house settling noises

Liam: you’ve got my full attention, inexplicable at first but it’s making more and more sense

Edie: 🌌

Edie: Random or fate, I want it

Liam: there's nothing to convince you of

Edie: Nope

Edie: You’re perfect

Liam: I’m buffering bc I ain’t used to it but I don’t want you to ⏸⏹

Edie: I can 0.25 speed though

Liam: don’t

Edie: I 👂 you

Liam: seriously, I’m still here when I can’t work out what to say

Edie: I’d feel if you’d gone 👻

Liam: not a feeling you've gotta get used to, I'll stick with protecting you

Edie: Promise?

Liam: I've already committed to drinking whatever you wanna pass me and a drop of your blood ain't gonna make wine taste any worse but I dunno how you're gonna deliver it

Edie: You going to your dads 🏡 at all?

Liam: if I insist we’ve got to, to check the post

Edie: then do

Edie: no need to tell me his address though 🔎

Edie: it’ll be waiting

Liam: a drop, yeah ❌🧛‍♂️

Edie: it won’t be dripping out onto the carpet

Liam: the jumpscare my dad would get isn’t worth draining you

Edie: fake 🩸 for the scares only 🤞

Liam: there’s a bigger cliche that’d make this official whenever you want, but it’d only scare off the lads in your dms

Edie: do it

Liam: [idk how teens are making shit facebook official when facebook is dead but do something so people know you’re claiming her sir]

Edie: [probably a feed photo or something on insta I imagine, which would actually make you die because now it isn’t just private so clearly it’s not just a prank, han]

Liam: [yeah and probably also commenting on whatever she’s been posting lately in a way that’s obvious you’re a thing ™️ not just a fan of the bops]

Edie: [when I’ve already had to stop you saying ily, as if that’d be the wildest thing lmao but now truly 😖 we’re deffo crying wherever we are rn]

Edie: [do the same energy back because that’s your safest bet atm]

Liam: [loving imagining everyone’s IRL and online reactions tbh]

Edie: [it’s all the drama mick]

Liam: you’ll really have to skip big tesco now like

Edie: I’ll survive

Edie: you can forage for us 🌼🌿🍄

Liam: and if any families show up I’ll check their tents for 👶🐶

Edie: I bet there will be loads of cute 🐶🐶

Liam: when pick your fave out of the photo line up I’ll grab it

Edie: make sure it’s not a biter

Edie: you aren’t allowed to bleed out either

Liam: I dunno what being careful looks like, but to come home to you unhurt I’ll try copying what my dad’s doing

Edie: 🐒 see 🐒 do

Edie: evidence please

Liam: [all I can imagine is a David style wildlife documentary so do that please, soz not soz to his dad who is never gonna see this]

Edie: [that is literally exactly what I imagined too so yes]

Liam: [if the first time she hears his voice is when he’s doing a David impression though I will kms cos I think it is]

Edie: [lmaooooooooooooo oh you guys]

Liam: [keeping it #goals before JJ even exist as a couple byeeee]

Edie: [also the way we know your phone is blowing up right now, send the funnier ones through like]

Edie: 👀

Liam: [send the one from Lexie and the one from your mum for the very different but extra energies LOL]

Edie: Is she sOoOOoOOo happy for you

Edie: not your ma, obvs

Edie: missing those hands, barely

Liam: 😱 for you, I think she’s mixed you and the twins up and you’re 9 to her

Edie: 😒 She wishes I was

Liam: my ma is 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 that’s honestly worse

Edie: I could be anyone, like

Liam: in russia

Edie: maybe she’s done some light stalking

Edie: not hard enough to find anything off-putting but enough to know I’m ‘real’ or whatever

Liam: done the ma version and asked her mates if any of their kids or kids mates know you

Edie: 🤞 no fuckers dobbed me in

Edie: prefer to make my own impressions, bad or otherwise

Liam: she don’t have many left who know what to say to her, you’ll be able to put either a good or bad word in for yourself

Edie: Did she go to any groups, during or after?

Liam: yeah, any of them gonna know you

Edie: nah

Edie: my ma did too but their timelines wouldn’t have overlapped

Edie: not saying they gotta go shop for hats right now

Liam: 🚫💍 with the 👶🐶 is it, you're gonna chuck me then

Edie: never 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Liam: she's been living in dubo since uni, she ain't gonna force us to march us down the aisle, but my ma's still northern irish enough to be pleased if we did

Edie: have you ever thought about it?

Liam: I had to when my sister brought it up, like loads of things I probably wouldn't have otherwise

Edie: You have time to think about everything important, that makes sense

Edie: what did she think about it? All the 👰💍🤵

Liam: it's on us, she couldn't think of anyone she'd accept a 💍 from

Edie: It is a pretty important part of it, when you really think about it

Edie: people who fantasize about it only think about the dress and the diamond and everyone staring at them

Edie: not the actual person they’re legally binding themselves to

Liam: she wasn't short of stares and you can wear what you want when you're dying 👑💎 everyday if you feel like it

Edie: Why not

Edie: though if you’re already sick of the stares

Liam: 👀 that weren't from a specific lad

Edie: What’s he doing now

Edie: he’d be out of school, right

Liam: [more deets than you should know or admit to knowing about this random boy years later because that's your brand]

Edie: She could do better

Liam: people are gonna be saying that about you

Edie: that you could, probably

Edie: I don’t care what they say

Liam: the lies they tell don't matter unless you think there's any truth to them

Edie: I believe you

Edie: and you say you want this

Liam: I can't do no better than you, Edie

Edie: There is no one else

Edie: even if I wasted my whole life looking from now, no one is topping you

Liam: even if you wanted to, I'm not gonna let you waste your life

Edie: I don’t

Edie: I want real and happy and you

Liam: this is real and I’ll keep you happy

Edie: I can’t wait to meet you

Edie: I don’t know how I haven’t seen you in person or heard you speak or all the things that come with it

Edie: I feel like I’ve known you forever

Liam: I should know more about you

Liam: what secrets are you keeping from the people who've known you forever, start there

Edie: Aside from the 💍👶🐶

Edie: Well, you know my dad is a dealer, yeah

Liam: I know he’s a dealer bc he’s supplied me at some raves and your dad bc people talk

Edie: Yeah, so the other’s dad is too, and they were raised together, which is like super fucked up of my ma, whatever

Edie: but if I’m getting stuff, I go to their dad and I hang out with him

Edie: he wants to be more involved, but they hate going to see him, it’s really sad

Liam: I’ve bought off him before too

Liam: don’t you wanna hang out with your dad

Edie: He’s not interested

Edie: And idk, I think my ma loved Caleb, but I don’t think she ever loved Drew

Liam: he don’t sound like he can love or be loved, anyone who could have you around and ain’t saying yeah to it is fucked

Edie: Maybe

Edie: his mum did leave him

Edie: I’d love to find her but there’s nothing to go on

Edie: Caleb is cool though, but they’d all be mad at me if they knew

Edie: Your turn

Liam: send me what there is and I’ll help you look, fresh 👀

Liam: my ma would be upset if she knew anything I’m up to

Edie: I feel that 😏

Edie: your secrets are safe with me

Edie: All I’ve got is a name, and when she was last seen, [give that info]

Edie: Maybe Caleb’s ma would know more, as she informally adopted them, but she also likes to pretend I don’t exist so

Edie: she’d not tell me

Liam: we don’t have to ask her, I’ll go round when she’s not in, see what there is to find

Edie: you’re so hot

Liam: what do you do when you’re hanging out with Caleb

Edie: smoke, usually

Edie: and ask him about when they were all kids, the cool shit they got up to

Liam: did he love your ma back

Edie: Yeah, they had the twins later so it definitely meant something

Edie: they’d probably be together but Billie’s ma had just died, it wasn’t good timing

Liam: have you ever tried to get them together again

Edie: not since I was a kid

Liam: now you’re not and you’ve got me, perfect timing for another go

Edie: you’d really help me?

Liam: yeah, you want happy and I said I’d keep you feeling it

Edie: [picture of your happy face ‘cos genuinely v overwhelmed]

Liam: [obvs put that as your phone background and show her and everyone else that it is]

Edie: [I definitely have a pic I can send you I wonder if there’s like a phone background generator ‘cos that’d be fun to do]

Liam: [oooh I hope so]

Edie: [If not we can change mine and screenshot fr though]

Liam: [unrelated but zeoob does fake tiktoks now btw so JJ and flatwhite energy will be even funnier]

Edie: [omfg, no way, gonna die]

Liam: [I haven’t found a background one yet though people be thinking I’m trying to design one for my phone, nay nay]

Edie: [yeah I don’t know how to search it either, we can just do it on mine though]

Edie: can I have a new one for mine?

Liam: [do send her one of the many pics of you I have where we’re on the grass]

Edie: I’ve never seen someone as cute as you

Liam: [send her her own pic back like HELLO look at you and this image]

Edie: you’re next level

Liam: your level but you completed it faster and unlocked more shit

Edie: [ARG where they make fake games as is a thing]

Edie: I wanna do this

Liam: so let’s do it

Edie: I’m home

Edie: just setting the stuff up and then I’ll storyboard as I stream

Edie: tune in when you can 💕

Liam: 🔁 bc you’ve said you’ll feel when I’m not

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isthisthingeven0n · 5 years ago

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missed opportunity : d.d

brief summary: you’re a popular british youtuber and attend vidcon where you meet the vlogsquad. however, one member is missing and becomes jealous he missed the chance to meet you.

word count: 1.7k requested: yes, by anonymous :) warnings: none that I’m aware of

* masterlistin’

You couldn’t quite comprehend it all, even now as the plane began to descend. In your head, you thought this would be enough time to really come to terms with what was about to happen, but your anxiety surrounding it refused to cease.

“You feeling alright?” Turning your head, your manager slides his blind down and places his hand on yours. You give him a small nod as you rest back in the chair, pulling the blind back up.

Looking outside, you could already tell it was going to be vastly different from home. Here it looked warm, there wasn’t a misleading blue sky where warmth was going to be absent. It looked like something out of a movie, a story you couldn’t believe to be a part of.

Arriving at the hotel with your luggage, you watched through various Instagram stories, checked your mentions to see excited tweets about you finally visiting America. You smiled as you responded to a few tweets before you started filming the welcome pack from Vidcon.

“I still can’t get over the fact I’m actually in the US.” You collapse down on the bed, looking over at your manager and best friend.

They both share a look before smiling. “You’ve come a long way, girl.” Your best friend tells you as she collapses down beside you on your bed. “Do you know your schedule?” She asks and you nod.

In all honesty, you learnt your schedule as soon as it came out. Vidcon was an enormous event, and you hadn’t expected to be a big name at the event, but it turns out you were more popular than you could’ve anticipated. You saw your name amongst those you once watched and admired, the sorts that were classed as ‘big’ YouTubers. Seeing your name alongside theirs, it was a surreal feeling, to say the least.

As you arrive at the venue, you hear someone call your name. You turn your head to smile and wave, only to be approached by a series of fans. You laugh lightly, taking photos and signing things for them before security steps in, escorting you away. “It was lovely to meet you all!” You call out to them as you glance back, seeing them all taking photos or filming you.

“It might be best if you take the back routes, Miss Y/l/n.” The security guard tells you as you walk with him along with your friend and manager. “These kinda events get rowdy quickly. We want to ensure our guests and visitors remain safe at all times.” He explains and you nod, listening as he directs you backstage where a series of YouTubers will be.

“We’ll catch you later, Y/n.” Your friend tells you as she and your manager begin to wander off, having the freedom to explore, but also record for your vlog.

Taking a deep breath, you walk into the space with a smile on your face. As you look around, most people are already in conversation with one another. You knew most of the creators have been countless times, and many are already friends.

You pull out your phone as you make your way over to the food and drink, immediately noticing some Yorkshire tea which you’ve been craving. “I guess you really do live up the stereotype.” You turn to see Carly standing beside you with a smile on her face.

A small laugh escapes your lips as you nod. “Well, jetlags getting me hard and tea is my saviour. I think I smuggled a few tea bags in my bra today just in case.” You joke with her (but also you were deadly serious) and she laughs along with you. “I’m Y/n, by the way.”

“Carly, I love your content. We didn’t know you were coming until we saw you on the Instagram page last week.” She explains and you nod along, squeezing the tea bag before you pour milk into the cup.

“Yeah, I had a crazy last-minute cancellation that would’ve crossed over when Vidcon was, but because of it here I am.” You tell her with a smile. “So you’re part of the vlogsquad right?”

She nods and motions to the group of people spread out across one sofa. Most of them you recognise from various videos and social media, but amongst them, the main figure isn’t there. “Most of us are here, David couldn’t make it as he had other commitments.”

You follow alongside Carly as she introduces you to a series of them, and you sit down with your tea. “Do you really drink like twelve cups of tea a day?” Scott asks you with a laugh.

“Erm, sometimes?” You reply with a smile. “Like if I’m really tired I will, but I’m one of those who will drink tea in the hottest of weathers which isn’t often in England but hey ho.” You sip at your tea, feeling the heat of the mug spreading across your face.

“God, David will be so jealous he’s not here to meet you.” Jason pipes up and you raise an eyebrow to him, watching as everyone shoots him a look.

Shuffling in your seat, you lean forward. “And why would that be, Jason?” You question, watching as he half laughs realising he said something he clearly shouldn’t have.

“He’s always wanted you to be in the vlog.” Jason states, only telling you half the truth behind it.

“How long are you here for?” Kristen speaks up, diverting the conversation from potentially embarrassing David despite him not even being there.

“Only for the event. I’ve got a flight straight back to London and then I’m off to Paris with Bumble.” You tell them and you can see the disappointment. “Why? Did you guys wanna film some stuff?”

Everyone looks around, nodding in response to you. “We’ve all seen your videos and honestly you’re naturally funny. Plus you’re British.” Carly states and you shrug your shoulders.

“I mean, I haven’t got any plans between panels and my meet and greet?” You ask them and a few nod.

Within an hour, you’ve become friends with a few members of the vlogsquad. You stay close with Carly and Erin who help guide you around the venue between panels.

As the evening draws closer, your jetlag worsens. You continue filming for your vlog, and feature in various other ones all at once. “God I need a shot.” You comment under your breath, not thinking much of it when you hear Scott rise to his feet.

“Okay, mini party in my hotel room.” He calls out, and a few cheers as your eyes widen. “You called it, Y/n.” He chuckles and you laugh lightly, unintentionally being the cause of a party with the vlogsquad.

The majority of your weekend was spent hanging out and filming with the vlogsquad. It was a surprise you hadn’t anticipated, but you loved their energy. You could tell David was missing, especially as you watched Zane get ridiculously drunk and try to walk through walls.

As you finished up at your last panel, you knew you would have to head back to pack your bags. You met up with your manager who kept his schedule close to hand. “Okay, last panel officially done. That gives us twelve hours until our flight back to rainy ol London.” He deeply sighs. You know he’s loved being in the sun, even if it’s for work, he can’t get enough.

“Great.” You half-heartedly respond.

“Everything okay?” He asks, stopping you in your tracks as you shrug. “Well, that obviously means no. Come on.”

“I just, I like it here a lot. The people are great. And the content I got, amazing.” You say with a light laugh, glancing back to see Scott talking with Jeff.

“You’ll come back, Y/n.” Your manager reassures you as you nod, following him.

Scott turns his head, noticing you leave. “David really did miss out on this weekend.” He sighs and Jeff nods along. “The girl he likes finally in town, and he can’t even meet her.”

“That’s some Shakespeare shit.” Jeff comments as they wander backstage as Scott prepares for his final performance of the weekend.

Walking into David’s house, Carly, Erin and Jason hold up Starbucks with a cheer. They smile as they spot David spread out across the sofa, his brows knitted together as he stares at his laptop screen. “How was Chicago, Dave?” Erin asks as she passes David a drink which he gladly accepts.

He takes a sip before pulling a face, passing it back. “It was good. I saw some of your posts from Vidcon.” He speaks softly, not wanting to make it more obvious than it was. “I saw Y/n was there.” He trails off, looking up to see the three of them exchanging a knowing glance.

“Yeah, she was.” Jason comments. “You’d of really liked her.” He adds, making David sigh to himself.

“She headed home already?” David questions, knowing the answer will already be yes much to his disappointment.

Deep down he knew you were just another person in the same industry as him. But there was something about you, the quirks you had that left him in awe of you. He wished he could meet you, bring you into a video like most people. Yet, you’re over five thousand miles away.

“She flew home this morning, probably still in the air.” Carly tells David softly, giving him a small smile. “But she did say she’d love to be in the vlog when she next visits.”

David lifts his head up, cocking an eyebrow to Carly. “She said that?” He asks like an excited child, talking about his crush.

“Yeah, she said she’s going to try come over next month I think she said?” Carly questions, looking to Erin who nods.

“Yeah, next month.” Erin confirms and David smiles to himself. “You going to DM her?”

Looking over his shoulder, David can feel his cheeks heating up. “I might.” He says coyly. It has been a long time since he’s been on the field, having a crush on someone since Liza. “Do you think she’ll reply?”

Carly scoffs lightly, rolling her eyes. “David, of course, she will!”

“Okay okay.” David holds his hands up defensively before he reaches for his phone and goes to twitter.

Taking a deep breath, he begins to write you out a message and sending it before anyone else can see. “You sent it?” Jason questions, peering over.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll just wait ten hours til she replies,” David says with a laugh, trying to hide his excitement about finally messaging you, even if you don’t reply.

#david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik fluff #david dobrik angst #vlogsquad #vlogsquad imagine #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines #vlogsquad fluff #vlogsquad imagines #vlogsquad angst #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad fluff #vlog squad angst #vlog squad x reader #vlogsquad x reader

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afrobeatsindacity · 4 years ago

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AFROBEATS CITY MEETS TRAYC SELASI

Following the release of her new sophomore EP, The Art & The Muse, Afrobeats City caught up with talented dancer, singer & songwriter Trayc Selasi to find out about her journey from a dancer to a musician, the creative process behind The Art & The Muse, the impact her Ghanaian roots has on her music, and more.

You started your career on the Afrobeats scene as a dancer before becoming a musician - how would you describe your journey?

My career began in 2012, during my dance cameo in Fuse ODG’s “Antenna” video, and again for “Dangerous Love” in 2014 with my dance partner Move with KB, which gained over 22 million+ views on YouTube. It has been a beautiful journey; all the ups and downs have made me who I am today. I started as a dancer but making music was always my ultimate goal. I toured and performed on big stages for Fuse ODG with my dance partner at the time and it was so amazing as I learnt so much on the job. I was quite observant with everything music around me which kept my interest going. I learnt how to record and Engineer in the studio, engineering for some great artists also Fuse ODG himself at times. Everyday there was something new to learn although it was not always easy, it was all worth it. I now have my own home studio set up where I have been able to record music of my own and finishing my E.P.

You recently released your single “Somebody”, what was your influence behind the single?

“Somebody” was created in Ghana during my trip back home in Ghana. It was produced by the amazing Abochi. We created this beautiful song together using concepts I had, bouncing ideas and melodies back and forth. The song is about a dilemma in the mind of a woman and the dilemma is being in love with “Somebody” but struggling to express that feeling as she goes through the pressure internally. I believe a lot of women out there can relate and may have somewhat been in that same “situation-ship”. The concept stems from my own experience with love and struggling to express that. There are women like myself who tend to hide feelings and emotions to avoid being hurt, but there comes a point where enough is enough and we have to start speaking out and expressing our love to that special “Somebody” but also being okay accepting him not having the same feelings for you knowing that ’Somebody’ is out there for you. Do not give up on love.

Congratulations on the release of your sophomore EP, “The Art and The Muse” - can you tell me about the creative process behind the EP and what we can expect from it?

The Art & The Muse is OUT NOW! whooppp and I’m super excited for this release. It has been a long time coming as I’ve been working on this project throughout this year exotically during the lockdown. If you haven’t heard it yet then expect to hear good timeless music that would captivate your hearts and minds. it’s a spiritual sometin’ haha. Honestly, I enjoyed creating this project especially because it’s my first ever project to come out of Trayc Selasi. Most of the songs we created during the lockdown period especially as I had some time to get in my creative bag. 2 of the songs were created during my trip in Ghana, “Somebody” and “Militant” whilst the others were created in my London home with my home studio setup. My creative process is a mashup of different things that I piece together to create my version of art which stems from my past experiences I’ve been through as well as my friends and family around me. Sometimes it can just be words I hear, a feeling or a current emotion. When I create, I think about so many different things based on the current topic and write down everything. Most times I go off from my feelings and allow melodies, words, emotions to naturally flow out of me through songs or dance. I have my moments where I can get stuck and just lay down or be still but the one thing I do a lot is pray and meditate especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I usually like to take my time to create just so I know I have pieced it all. The name of the EP is a representation of both me 'The Art' and my influences 'The Muse'.

How much of an impact does your Ghanaian roots have when creating music?

My Ghanaian roots have a massive impact and a few reasons for that is firstly, I was born there and lived a part of my childhood in Accra before leaving to come to the UK at 8 yrs. My family keeps me in check about my roots especially my mother as she constantly reminds me by speaking my language to me and always encouraging me to always be myself and be proud of who I am and where I'm from at all times. I’m so grateful for them, if not I don't know what I would be right now. I love my culture, my country and the whole African continent because it’s so beautiful and rich with amazingness. it has had and continues to have a huge impact on my lifestyle, my hair, the clothes and jewellery I wear as well as my music. My dad used to be a family DJ at most family functions and he would play some of the legends such as Yvonne Chaka Chaka, Agelique Kudjo Daddy Umma etc and i grew up listening to these African legends who inspire a lot of my music creating as you hear the sweet sounds of highlife infused in some of my songs on my EP The Art & The Muse.

How do you think the Afrobeats scene has changed since you first started out?

The Afrobeats scene has changed so much over the last 5-10 years and I’m so proud now more than ever to be a part of this culture. African music is now growing into new heights that we’ve never been before and I believe it’s only going to get better and higher from here and there is no going back as we are already exposed to many different experiences and sub-genres

2020 has been an unexpected year, how was lockdown for you and what impact did it have on your music plans for the year?

2020 has definitely been unexpected but I believe it’s been both a blessing and a curse at the same time. I prefer to keep my focus on the blessings that have come out of it which is the fact that I was able to finish my EP and have more time to connect with my supporters all around the world. I am truly grateful for everything that has happened so far and I believe there are going to be greater things that are coming my way. I won’t lie, in the beginning of lockdown, it was a bit of a struggle trying to get used to being home and working as I was used to a set routine and trying to figure out a new home routine was a little crazy but my music is what kept me going which made me even more grateful for my home studio setup. We thank God.

The music industry is very male orientated, have you faced any struggles as a female artist and how did you overcome them?

Yes this industry is very male dominated but we all know that women run this world. I did face some struggles as a woman from the start of my career in this industry as a dancer well before transitioning into music. One being the fact that you’re seen as a subject and even my skin colour didn’t always help as I will sometimes be pushed to the back but how I overcame that was to keep myself with Fuse ODG team who were very respectful to me as not just a woman but a black African woman which allowed me to feel safe. I worked very hard to build a lot of my relationships in the industry in a respectful way making sure that everyone sees and treats me with respect as I treat everyone both men and women with respect.

What is the best advice you have been given?

The best advice I received was to go fishing. I know it may sound weird or funny but what I understood from that was to go for it, throw that hook in the water and never hold back because eventually I will catch a big fish and get my big break and in my case a second big break as the first big one was from the “Antenna” Dance video. Another great advice I have received and continue to receive from my amazing team, Coelle LDN is to stay patient, pray and grind hard because the time will come. As we all know this journey is not an easy one but it is one that I must enjoy, as it will be all worth it in the end.

What is next for Trayc Selasi?

Trayc Selasi is taking on new heights and flights. Now that my first EP The Art & The Muse is out, I’ll be working on some visuals for this project and get some shows and performances going hopefully when everything opens up again and lockdown has been lifted. I will also be going back to Ghana very soon to engage with my supporters there. I want to link up with amazing producers and songwriters and start working on my next project. So many things I want to do right now but all in due time.

Just for fun, fill in the blanks….

Without music, I would be… A rich housewife

My current favourite song is… Somebody by myself

My dream artist(s) to collaborate with is… Beyonce

My favourite Ghanaian dish is… Red Red (African stewed black-eyed peas and plantain)

Support Afrobeats because… I love it, it’s my culture, it’s in my bloodline

Download/Stream - Trayc Selasi - The Art & The Muse EP

Follow @Traycselasi on Instagram | Twitter

This interview was conducted by Shade A / Afrobeats City doesn’t own the rights to the image used.

#Afrobeats #Afrobeats City #Trayc Selasi #Afrobeats City Meets Interview #Africa #African music #Ghana #Ghanaian music #The Art & The Muse #Trayc Sealsi The Art & The Muse #Afrobeats Interview #Music #Music Interview #Afrobeats UK #Afrobeats London #Fuse ODG #Somebody #Antenna #uk afrobeat

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mxrcayong · 4 years ago

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avatar series: 01.19

masterlist.

previous | next

Exiting the crumbling arena, the group was greeted by the rising sun. The early hours of the morning were characterized by the usual red and orange sky, but unlike usual – an invisible and often ignored worries about the Equalist party have evaporated. Kilari swore she never realized how much her worries impacted her day; but as she saw Amon in handcuffs, her heart lifted.

“Good work on the back exit, Mr…” Lin turned to look at Jisung as she continues to constrain Amon in his cuffs.

Jisung was fumbling over his words at her recognition – this is the woman he always looked up to, who happens to be the daughter of his major idol. “Mr Park, Jisung Park, Ma’am General.” Lin chuckled to herself at her own impact on the flustered kid.

“The police in front just messaged me it’s surrounded by media,” Lin sighed, her eyes turning to look at one of the very few people she considers family unconscious and potentially… Lin can’t even think about it. “Tari would want to keep her identity hidden.” She looked up gently at Sukiara, “Can you tell me when she wakes up?” When Sukiara let out a hum of agreement, The general let out a solemn nod before dryly coughing. “Now, I got to take this asshole to the cameras, c’mon.” She was quick to hide her emotions, giving everyone a nod as she drags Amon’s weakened self away.

But Amon turned around. “This isn’t the end.” He sinisterly laughed, “The Equalist party is strong, we have people on the inside, we have-“ Lin gave him a particular hard shove, making him quiet down.

“We need to bring her to the infirmary.” Sukiara noted, motioning to Tari in Johnny’s arms. “If an Avatar passed out after Avatar State, it only lasts a few minutes.” She explained, “…but this so far is the longest time an Avatar is unconscious after exiting the state.” The guardian tried to hide her emotions through a stiffer demeanor, her hands behind her back and her shoulders wider than usual. She was giving herself more ground and, in a sense, give her more stability. It’s her usual public speaking stance to keep her nerves in check. It wasn’t working, unfortunately, as whenever she looked at Tari – she felt her knees bend into itself.

Yuta and Jisung were entranced by the arena. Their home away from home have crumbled into pieces, collapsed into itself. It was as if it was a biscuit, crumbled in the hands of Amon, and here are the crumbs. They would spend hours and hours here, training and practicing. Hell, this is where they met.

Sonan noticed them lagging behind as Kilari, Johnny (and thus Tari), and Sukiara climbed onto the flying bison. Their eyes were like a puppy kicked to a curb, pleading that this was not real. They looked harmed and broken, despite the events of last night. “Let’s get a move on,” Sonan mumbled, comfortingly placing her arms around their shoulders. “We should get Tari to an infirmary.” Jisung and Yuta had to tear their feet away from the ground they stood on, climbing onto the bison that patiently waited for their presence.

Johnny refused to let go of Tari. Even when they were on the flying bison, Tari’s head was on Johnny’s lap as he stroked her hair comfortingly – more to himself. From stroking her hair, Johnny could feel some movement – he could sense the fact she was breathing. It reminded him he wouldn’t lose her.

But throughout the ride, everyone’s eyes either fell asleep or stared at Tari – praying her eyes will open soon. “Avatar Aang passed out temporarily when he first entered the Avatar State, Tari should wake up in a few more minutes.” Sukiara reminded as if a way to comfort everyone, mumbling loud enough for everyone awake to hear

But minutes became hours, and Tari was eventually back at Bak Mei with no sign of regaining consciousness. “Uhm,” Sukiara stared at her feet, unsure how to comfort Tari’s friends or herself. She didn’t want to lose Tari either; as much as she tried to be distant, Tari was like her daughter. This is the longest time recorded for an Avatar to be unconscious after the Avatar State and Sukiara didn’t know what that could mean. “Everyone should get changed into new clothes and just get ready…uhm, the canteen people are preparing food.”

The rumbling of stomachs soon followed the mention of food. They didn’t even realise how hungry they were, the feeling being pushed aside by their concern. “We’re no good if we are weakened ourselves.” Yuta mumbled under his breath and everyone seemed to nod in agreement, except Johnny.

Johnny’s hands wrapped around Tari’s hand as she laid on the infirmary bed, hooked up to a number of IV fluids. The group was half way out the door by the time Sonan noticed Johnny stayed behind. Johnny couldn’t hear her over the beeping of the heart monitor; the only thing he listened to – as she told the rest of the friends to continue going.

“Johnny,” Sonan sighed, putting her hand on his back, “What would Tari say when you haven’t eaten?”

“Nothing.” Johnny scoffed. “She’d just continuously push food towards my plate until I see her….” He trailed off, as he looked at Tari’s face for the hopeful glimpse of the same eyes who would beg him to eat.

Sonan chuckled, looking down at her chosen family. She has never felt more uncertain than this; she felt like she was on the cliff edge, waiting to hear the news. “Don’t make me do that to you.”

The canteen wasn’t a better distraction. The hall practically echoed the silence back at them, the only sound amplified being the slurping of soup. No one wanted to speak with the fear that once they speak and Tari wasn’t there to make snide comments, that it’ll all start to feel real.

Luckily, an ‘urgent and mandatory’ newscast came on screen – the silence now replaced with the static of TV. The screen took up the whole wall; a familiar sight was shown in front of them; The NCT Arena in ruins. Mayor Roddin and Senator Zhong stood on top of the broken building, the unmasked Amon in cuffs behind them being held by Lin and two of her guards. Tenzin was beside them.

“We are standing here at the NCT Arena where it was learnt that the illegal underground bending fights were occurring, hosted by the previous internationally renowned pro-bending group Big Bang Crew.” The lady announced, a lady Johnny recognized from his company although vaguely. “It was also the location of the mandatory bending event that was planned last night by the Mayor, Senator, and Equalist party leader. We are here to hear the public speech made by the mayor and senator about the attacks that happened here the night prior.” The screen cut to a closer angle of the officials. From the background, it was obvious this was filmed around the same time they left the mainland.

“My name is Mayor Roddin and this is my colleague Senator Zhong.” Mayor Roddin spoke into a makeshift-podium’s microphone, Senator Zhong beside him staring down at his feet. “Over the last few years, we have been manipulated and tricked to believe a vengeful individual. We have believed every word he said and last night, we learnt that he was the true danger to society.” A video footage Amon, now in chains appeared on the screen, before cutting to the shot of him behind them. “He was fueled by revenge. His father committed a crime; he bended blood bending, the forbidden and inhumane bending that is the most powerful of them all. The Avatar Aang then took it away. Since, he was looking for revenge. To take away all bender’s powers.”

Senator Zhong took over the podium, “We apologize to all benders we have harmed, hurt, or belittled. We have to take a look at the history. Benders were family members who’d go out to hunt for food in the Spirit Wilds, they were the ones granted the power to give them safe journeys. Yes, not everyone can bend – but benders are not much different than non-benders.” They sounded sincere and genuine. “We offer our sincerest apologies. We know that may not be enough to help the harm we have caused, so we’d like to announce that Mayor Roddin and I are resigning from our seats in government. Mayor Roddin will be replaced by Chief of Police Lin Beifong who aided the Avatar last night in saving thousands of lives and my senate seat will be replaced with a non-bender.”

“We hope to see future change and acceptance for the benders.” Mayor Roddin took over again. “We wouldn’t be here today without them. We also like to extend our deepest and warmest gratitude to the current Avatar, who helped get Amon in prison.” The two government officials exchanged glances before looking at the journalists lined up in front of them at the press conference. “Any questions?”

It wasn’t long before journalists were left with many variations of the same question; “Who is the Avatar?” The questions were ignored and discarded, the now officially resigned officials just smiled and told them that information will remain classified.

“I can’t believe its all over.” Kilari let out a breath, sudden tears coming from her eyes. Johnny’s arm immediately jumped to wrap around her shoulders, feeling much more connected to the fire bender since they spoke at the bench. “We can finally breathe.” Kilari’s eyes went wide with happiness as she directed her comment to the other benders at the table.

Yuta was at a particular loss for words.

“This feels unreal.” Jisung comments.

Tari’s eyes fluttered open, noticing where she was. She was hooked up to a ton of medical equipment.

Beside her sat Sukiara, who practically leaped to her feet with excitement at the slightest movement from Tari. “What happened?”

“You did it.” Sukiara celebrated, “You did it, Avatar Tari.”

sorry this kinda sucks!!! ive been super busy the last two weeks with my internships and some family stuff. im not the most proud of this chapter but i gotten to a point where i wasnt wanting to write because of this chapter, so i wanted to get this chapter out of the way. something about htis chapter just messed with my mood. so! one more chapter until book one is over, but there’s a book 2 coming up!

request anything for future parts / penny for your thoughts here

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ehyeh-joshua · 4 years ago

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Senate Hall of the United Planets, Larak'Ki'Tar, 2082 AD

“As is well known to those in this assembly, the Kongelim Republic is facing it's final years. The illness that has ravaged our people for the last two centuries has almost finished it's wretched work among us.

None of this is new of course; there are those who have always been jealous of us, watching like vultures. Or those who tried to help, and faced no better fortune than we did.

Two centuries ago, we noticed the illness coming, and we realised that there would be no more Kongelim except those who were already. A century ago we were all imaged for the archives here on Larak'Ki'Tar, so that there would always be a record of us.

Today, we number so few that our ancient Republic has dissolved; a system of constant referendums to all remaining Kongelim is as effective as our great Republic was, that stood for thousands upon thousands of years across a dozen worlds.

Our once proud race lays low, driven to dust. Fear, terrible loneliness, and pointlessness have been the experience of us last Kongelim all our lives as our race dies one by one.

But in these dying days of the Republic, we are not alone.

Twenty years ago, the honoured member of this assembly Elanor Vallone of Mars came to our world; the Humans then were barely able to travel faster than light, and they had journeyed a long time to reach us. And she arrived as First Officer, on one of Humanity's first interstellar vessels.

And we were perturbed.

We all know of our esteemed colleague Insurrection's report on the Humans from little over a hundred years ago, how in his view they would rival even the Cygnar in battle. A divided race, committed to war, but also showing great promise.

I asked her then why they had come. 'to help, as best we can.' she replied. Waves of sorrow flowed over me at that time, reliving the past when we had tried to face the dreaded curse. I told her the sad tale of our woe then, and then asked her one word; why?

And her answer was simple, and heartfelt. 'We must try'.

They had traveled far and long; the best scientists and doctors they had. And like many before, they did try. And as with us all, they failed.

But they did not give up. Instead, more of them came; they came, and kept us company as best they could. They attended to us. They studied from us, they taught their children our songs, they learnt to live our ways. And for a few years, we were spared the curse; only my generation remained.

When my brother died, they stayed by him long after we could not bear the stress. He was the first Kongelim not to die alone in almost fifty years.

They tried to save him. Damn they tried. But they couldn't – so they stayed by his side, until he was gone.

The next morning, they greeted us with plans for a building; a pyramid of stone. And we were confused.

We have not buried our dead in many decades; our homes have become our tombs. Like much activity of life, a dying species does not concern itself with such things; after all, the vultures longing to pick our corpses won't hesitate to rob graves.

And they told us they wanted to build it to remember him.

So we were suspicious. I asked Insurrection if this was some kind of joke, and to my surprise, my learned friend quieted me instantly. 'Ask them about the pyramids, ask them about Harlicarnassus, or the Taj Mahal.'

So I did ask. And they showed me photographs and videos of these structures, and many more besides. Structures that date back as far as they have recorded history that have the sole purpose of remembering the departed. Structures that they still look after, still consider wonders of the world, lifetime upon lifetime since those buildings were made.

And as I was looking at these images, I suddenly understood. They wanted to commemorate my brother like they commemorated their own people.

We cautiously agreed to let them, and they brought in stone crafters who built a pyramid for him using traditional Human techniques, and they brought things from his home, asking us what these items meant to him. We answered as best we could, and they carved the answers into pedestals shaped for the items, as many as felt significant.

When my sister died, they raised one for her, next to his.

And now, my eyes too grow the red haze that we know is the beginning of the end; soon, the blood vessels in my eyes will collapse, and I will go blind, for whatever remains of my life.

I was a hatchling before they split the atom for the first time in their history. From that time until relatively recently, I lived in terror of what I face now; my death, the death of my species.

But I'm not afraid anymore. My pyramid has already been built, my speeches and writings displayed that all may learn from me. I do not face the journey alone, because these Humans have come alongside me. They will be my eyes when my natural eyes will burst, and they will stay with me until the end.

In this I find my solace; there may be no more Kongelim as we have been known since the week of Creation. But a new generation of Kongelim rises, as Human and Kongelim cultures merge.

So, it is fitting then, that I – the last leader of the Kongelim Republic – make this statement. Earlier this month, I spoke to all twenty two of the remaining Kongelim, about the declaration I am about to make.

The decision was unanimous.

We, the Kongelim, owe a debt of gratitude for all that they have done for us. Once there was fear; they brought hope. Once there was darkness; they brought life-giving light. Once, we were forgotten; now, we know they shall remember us.

So, we, the Kongelim, bequeath to those who gave themselves and asked nothing in return, our world, and all that remains of the Kongelim Republic; they are our successors.”

Sarakh sat down, having delivered his final speech.

-----

A relatively quick write, based on a writing prompt I saw this morning; “Last contact”.

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defdaily · 5 years ago

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[TRANSLATION] VOGUE KOREA Magazine April 2019 issue x JUS2

190319 Vogue Korea JUS2 April ‘19 photoshoot & interview

Translated by defdaily & doobseedoda

JUS2 is a unit of two members who were in charge of intensity in GOT7. This is a chemistry created when JB and Yugyeom, who love R&B in common, were absorbed in creative activities. Their hybridization was completed in a "minimal" state, which is neither strong nor soft. The mini album contains a story called six senses. Starting with the word Focus on Me, Drunk on You, Touch, Senses, Love Talk, and Long Black. It doesn't mean much nowadays to classify music into genres, but there are emotions of Deep House, Slow Jam and R&B in JUS2's music.

The unit's name was bound to be JUS2. It's only JB and Yugyeom, and it's a stage that can only be presented. "Actually, JUS2 means that it's both a performance and a song. We danced, sang, wrote and composed, and did everything." JUS2 is an example of a completely new creation without losing the members' identity in the group and reveal their talents and tastes.

Q. We are curious about the similarities and differences between you two.

JB: Our personalities are similar but our lifestyles are different. I really don't believe in blood type personalities but we're both type A and there is definitely a timid side to us. When you see us in reality we don't seem that timid. To sum it up, we're both timid and not timid at the same time (laugh). Both of us are considerate so we match well in some aspects. Yugyeom is all about 'let's live life having fun'.

Yugyeom: I don't put too much meaning behind the word 'happiness' and I'm a person who often feels happiness (doing little things).

JB: I like enjoying everyday life but I have a compulsion to not let my thoughts and mind slip alway so I tend to think a lot. There is music that we both like and there's also a point where (our styles) meet. I like strong/fast paced music and I also like calm smooth music, I like all kinds of music. Yugyeom likes the strong turn up kind of music and tends to lean towards the strong music.

Q. If GOT7's energy is bright and fresh, what would JUS2’s energy be?

Yugyeom: Jus2 would be having control and restraining yourself. If GOT7's energy is 'attacking' then JUS2’s energy is more like 'holding yourself back'.

JB: If GOT7 were the shooting star ice cream then JUS2 would be the Vanilla ice cream. Soft and smooth. Personally I like JJ Project's album the most. The story and track order contained all of what I wanted to say/include so it's the album I'm most proud of. After that is JUS2’s album which I'm highly satisfied with. Although there is no overall storyline, the theme of sensation was unraveled.

Q. You wrote and composed 'Focus On Me', if you could tell us about the collaboration process.

Yugyeom: We listen to the track and figure out whether to decide the theme first or make the melody first. The theme of FOCUS came up while writing the melody for Focus On Me and that's how it was settled. If anyone can think of a melody while listening to MR, they record it. "This part seems okay" then JB hyung sings it and I try singing it then we keep matching parts.

JB: At the start when I was working on the song and writing the chorus 'focus on me' stuck to me as matching. Since everyone else liked it we decided on it as the theme and wrote the lyrics. The first and second verse were written separately then the lyrics were put together.

Q. In what moments does inspiration tend to come to you?

JB: When I sense if a song's mood is a certain way, I think about what happened in the past or whať's happening now or what I've seen in movies and books. If I get inspiration first then I write it down in my notebook or phone. There are times when I turn songs on and look over what I have written down from the past. And sometimes the lyrics match what you want.

Q. What kind of lyrics do you think are good lyrics?

Yugyeom: the way you listen and the way you write is different. I'm the type to play a melody when I'm trying to write lyrics then I see what matches well in terms of pronunciation. JB hyung pays more attention to the lyrics so lyrics I could never think of came up (from JB). I would be into something else and hyung would come up with lyrics like ”Today you'll raise the white flag".

Q. What is a point you appreciate about each other's dancing?

JB: Yugyeom's dancing line is very clean cut. When he stretches out, the lines are really pretty and it also gives off a modern dance feel. He is the best at peculiar moves with his long legs. On the other hand my dance has more roughness.

Yugyeom: what's funny is, I realised this after watching the music video, that I dance with all my fingers out (?) together whereas hyung is the opposite

JB: (his fingers out together?) Yugyeom really likes this.

Yugyeom: That's what my favorite American dancer always did. It has become a habit.

Q. Yugyeom is always wearing black skinny pants in his Instagram dance videos, is it like a uniform?

JB: Not only when he dances, he just doesn't wear other pants in general. Yugyeom has lots of the same pants (laugh). He likes black skinny pants so much that he wears them even during practice. And he has stage shoes, which are more comfortable than sneakers, so he always wears them during practice too.

JB: For me I need the pants width to be big a little. And I always need to have sneakers on. Yugyeom likes skinny style while I'm the type to like a flimsy style.

Q. Things you talked about the most while preparing for JUS2.

JB: It was 'How should we organise/format the album”. Since it's our first time doing a minimal sound, we wondered if it would go well and we worried a lot about the album. We had lots of public relation meetings too (laugh). Looking back, it was fun. Feels like I've been travelling abroad for a few months. To be honest, I haven't been able to travel abroad much but whenever I travel even for a short time I feel really excited, but rather than an amusement park kind of fun I would feel a calm kind of fun. To paraphrase that, it's similar to the feeling.

Yugyeom: It was really fun. Seeing hyung almost everyday, we also talked a lot. I also liked the times where we would go grab a drink after finishing writing songs. Since JUS2 participated in songwriting and also outfits and choreography so it has lots of meaning. The teasers were also captured freely with a film camera while listening to music. Many new unique attempts were made in the preparation process.

Q. Feels like you have expanded a lot musically. Is there something you do to keep growing?

JB: When I see people I respect or people who are doing well think I should have more thoughts of ’Why is this all I can do'. That's how it works. I think. “Let's have a lot of experiences that will touch me, both indirectly and directly” When I have a chance, I go to exhibitions and think about the agony of the artists. I also wonder how I can use the SNS, which is so full of things, for my development. l once wondered how l could use so much SNS for my development. I take note of places and exhibitions recommended by people, I thought it would be good to get ideas from impressive artwork or videos.

Q. You've been a part of GOT7 for more than 6 years but this is your first time working together with just the two of you. Is there something new you learnt?

Yugyeom: There is no such thing. If I really try to find one, I thought hyung only ate Korean food but he actually likes eating even cream, curry and udon now.

JB: I feel like I've gotten influenced by the other members. I thought my preference for Korean food would never change but I've come to an acceptance point. Last time when we went to Paris, Bambam wanted to try snails. I rejected saying I could never eat snails but it was actually more delicious than I expected. That's the case, I have even eaten snails.

Q. If you were to pick the happiest moment in your day?

JB: When I clean the cats' dung. I see with my eyes that I can do something for someone else. I feel joy seeing the cats in a good shape/image. When I see the bin full of their dung, pride overcomes me as l know (they) have become cleaner.

Yugyeom: I'm the type who likes having lots of schedules but there are times when I become tired physically. I consult with my company and decide on a day off, and the moment I step foot into my house I feel really happy. A break once in a while could be so sweet. I'm happy when I can sleep late after working on songs all night.

Q: Is there anything you've discovered or thought about differently recently?

JB: On the way home after producing yesterday, the taxi driver took a wrong turn and we ended up at Yeouido. Looking out at the buildings through the window, this thought came to me. Within those buildings, people may be fighting or happy but the buildings seen from within the taxi only just look beautiful. I thought maybe the world looks more beautiful if you see it from a distance instead of up close. I thought we too might need some distance in our life as well.

Q: Is there anything you've discovered or thought about differently recently?

Yugyeom: I have always thought this but recently there's something that I've felt more strongly.I must really love music a lot (laughs). I would go crazy if I don't listen to it. If lI'm not listening to music, it feels like I have to and l'd keep thinking about the music I want to listen to. I've been producing songs lately and they've been very healing to me. Listening to and making good music in itself is a source of healing to me. So l realised once again. Ah, I must really love music.

Q. Do you feel the stress of writing while listening to music you like?

Yugyeom: not at all. I've never had such thoughts. There's a song I'm into lately. I really like Travis Scott's Can't Say' so l keep listening to it and watching the music video.

Q. JUS2 will have a world tour in April. GOT7 also proved themselves through a world tour too. What is the meaning behind world tours.

JB: It is like the result of one's efforts. Something that tells me how hard I've tried. An album allows me to witness the response to my agony/thoughts and a world tour allows me to experience that response.

Q. JB you've been uploading mixtapes on music sites for a few years now. How did this experience influence JUS2 work?

JB: I think it made me want to try doing what I really like. In fact, when you make music and keep storing them and going back to edit them, that way you won't have any results. Even if I get a beating (get punished) let's just show them!' that kind of mindset. The fans liked it but people around me reacted coolly. They said I put too much strength in it. I'm also considering different formats. Using the name Def. I wanted to differentiate between me who is in public and me who likes hip-hop R&B. Def. means the best with a full stop after it, ending it with the best. I wanted to convey the meaning that it's only over after I do my absolute best. Moving forward, of course l'll work hard doing the things I'm doing but I really want to show the image of me doing the things I like.

Q. What you want to achieve through JUS2.

JB: Music site ranking was not our goal. "Leť's show a fun and cool different colour”, let's show a completely different image from GOT7 were our goals. Actually even now I'm satisfied. As much as the album was well made, I like it/feel good.

Translated by: defdaily and doobseedoda

#got7 #GOT7 JB #GOT7 JAEBEOM #GOT7 INTERVIEW #GOT7 TRANS #JB INTERVIEW #JB TRANS #JAEBEOM INTERVIEW TRANS #DEFDAILYinterview

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checkoutafrica · 5 years ago

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Stonebwoy; A major player in Ghanaian Music

Every single month without fail African artists are constantly reminding us that they are in fact the kings and queens in this music game. So far in terms of music, this has really been our year and I could not be more excited! One album we cannot stop talking about here at COA is Stonebwoys ‘Anloga Junction’. This is his fourth studio album and a body of work that the Ghanian musician has been working on for the last 5 years. He describes it as a beautiful African scene with a touch of western experience and influence – Anloga junction is the juncture between those two contrasting perspectives.

Specialising in dancehall, reggae, and afrobeats Livingstone Etse Satekla is not only a major player in Ghanaian music but in African music as a whole which is why he will forever be one of the continents most celebrated artists. Having rose to international stardom after being the first artist of his kind to win a BET Award in 2015 and has subsequently won many other international awards such as Afrima, Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Award as well as received nominations from MTV EMA, Grammy Awards and more. This man is not to be slept on!

youtube

Who was Stonebwoy 10 years ago?

I mean, I was still doing music …. I mean I was and still am a son, I come from a Christian family, you know? I have been doing music since I was 16, you know what I mean? It never stopped, I just kept going harder and harder. YHHH 10 years ago, I should be out of school, out of uni or something!

You create Afropop, reggae and dancehall, which one out of the three is your favourite genre and why?

I mean all three because, for me, it’s all the same roots but different branches. So when it all comes to me, I comfortably create either of the genres, I find it difficult to actually choose a main one. I think I always do all together because when you pick up any Stonebwoy song, you still feel all three; some dancehall, some afrobeats, some reggae – every single time you pick up any stonebwoy song. But you may notice that it is mainly the dancehall and afrobeat that you can feel everytime you hear any of my songs.

View this post on Instagram

Nominate challenge?

#AnlogaJunctionAlbum #TommyXLewis #BwoyFiger

A post shared by 1GAD (@stonebwoyb) on May 4, 2020 at 1:26pm PDT

You’ve worked with the likes of Kranium, Sean Paul, Burna Boy and of course the beautiful Ms Keri Hilson. Who has been your favourite to collaborate with so far and why?

You know, when it comes to this type of question – the favourites question, it sort of limits me in a way because every collaboration of mine is a favourite, they are all unique in their own ways, you know what I mean? So I can hardly pick which one stands out amongst all of them. However, the one that is making a lot of noise right now, making a lot of impacts and that one that needs to be very much appreciated at this moment in time is the one with Keri Hilson – Nominate. It’s so crazy, it’s amazing! The combination of afrobeats and RnB with some dancehall in there is just crazy, it’s really nice to hear.

How did the collaboration with Keri Hilson come about and should we expect more collabs in the future?

Uhmm what happened is that whilst we were recording the album we really planned to have an American collaboration on it, but the collab with Keri Hilson, it so happened that it was not planned, because if it was planned then that would mean that, that would sound like I called her up and said I wanted her on the album. But none of that happened, a friend of mine met Keri on a flight and that’s how beautifully it happened – we got introduced. My friend didn’t even know it was Keri Hilson until something happened and they got the opportunity to talk and so by doing so, the conversation turned to music, we ended up exchanging contacts right there and then and we gained some nice relationships. Then when I went on tour in America, it so happened that she invited me to the studio and then we cooked nominate as a beautiful song and here we are today!

What was the idea behind calling this album Anloga Junction?

I mean it’s my roots, the intention behind the album is to give it that identity you know? It represents the fact that I have gained some influences and a lot of things having learnt from the African perspective when it comes to the music and it is at this junction that it meets with the influences from the west as well. That is why you get the name Anloga junction.

You said the theme of the album is a beautiful African scene with a touch of western experience and influence. Can you go into more detail on what you mean exactly?

Exactly! Yeah, I just think sonically it is a beautiful African song, the sound and the way the musical wave has taken a diverse turn when it comes to African music and the way it’s been received by the western world lately. All that has influence because I am one of the people, I am one of the musicians, one of the new schools who have added their voices to that type of style, especially coming from mixing the afrobeats with the reggae and dancehall to create the afro dancehall which is what I have been known for these last 10 years. When it comes to the continent of Africa, I think that I am well representing for that African sound and wave, that is a representation of that sound. Plus the Caribbean sound and which is at large the Western sound, which is what I mean by that!

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Still on the JUNCTION…which music video should we drop next?

A post shared by 1GAD (@stonebwoyb) on May 22, 2020 at 5:47am PDT

Why did you choose to record the intro track (Le Gbs Gbe) in your home language “ewe”, what was the initial idea behind this?

Yeah, the intro track is in my home language because that is what the album is representing cause when I say Anloga you know that anybody who is going to pick up the record they have to find that masterpiece, they have to find that significance or that representation of the whole of the Anloga vice in there, that is why you find I speak in my dialect for the first track on the album, so it can truly represent what I mean with the album.

You said that some of the songs in your album are actually 5 years old, which of these are and why did you wait to include them in Angola junction rather than epistles of mama?

The reason being for that one is that there had always been a plan and I had known this particular song is timeless enough and that the project that I wanted to bring out was not yet, it was not yet due for that song and so you know as we’ve gotten here and as we started Anloga junction project, this one here qualified. That particular song is called “Nkuto” feat Kojo Antwi, track number 5 – that’s the one, that song is like 5 years old and bow down is like 2 years old. I take time to fix these songs, it took me a total span of 5 years to fix this body of work for the people.

Which is your favourite song from the album and why?

Track one, nominate and everlasting. But the whole album literally! I love the whole album, not going to lie.

You’ve worked with SA artists (AKA, Nasty C and Cassper Nyovest) in the past, do you yourself listen to SA music? If so what’s your favourite thing about their music/ artists?

Yeahh I do, I do. I love their sound and their whole African culture. You know the whole of Africa is culture – when you see Africa, you see strong accents, you see strong melanin, you see black, you see strong people. And all of that is depicted in our music when we sing so per the various places we have and the diverse cultures we have is well well enjoyable when you are a creative and span your scoop into all these areas. I listen wide to all these forms of music, I love south African music; their house, their kwaito etc.

How does it feel to be inducted into the Grammy museum sound of Africa exhibit?

It feels great! That was an exhibition that happened 3 years ago around 2016/2017 that they had to select some African artists who have won in that category before and those who are making strong waves and that exhibition, it was only meant to last a week but went on to last a whole year and it had me in there and legendary Kojo Antwi in there. So it was a coincidence to have him on my album and then for the both of us to be inducted at that level and that is one of the great levels that afrobeats music has been able to reach by the help of Ava Hall and the whole team who put together the BET international category. So thanks to the whole team who made it work!

What would you say is your biggest achievement so far in your career?

So far I still have a lot of things to do, I still have a lot of miles to reach, you know I’m just taking it easy now and I can only say that at this level it might even be difficult to choose my biggest achievement but I know that I must be the number one when it comes to afro dancehall and reggae and I am grateful for that.

What do you believe is the future of African music/ afrobeat’s?

In the next 10/20 years, African music is still going to be on the rise. You should understand that it can only get better and better. I pray that, not only musically but on the African continent that everything can work together for good because our arts and our creative industries are dependent on the governors of Africa. So in the next 10 years, we pray that Africa becomes more independent, more resourceful and more developed in the right sense and that way our music is going to go far. Big up to every African artist who is putting in the work!

The post Stonebwoy; A major player in Ghanaian Music appeared first on CheckoutAfrica.

from WordPress https://www.checkoutafrica.com/stonebwoy-a-major-player-in-ghanaian-music/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=stonebwoy-a-major-player-in-ghanaian-music

#Interviews #Music #african #African music #Afrobeats #album #dancehall #music #musician #stonebwoy

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ellfitz-blog1 · 5 years ago

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Performance Analysis at Oldham Netball Club

Entry one

What is Performance Analysis?

(07/11/2019)

“Performance Analysis is motivated by a sports necessities to understand and improve tactics, technique, and movement which is achieved through the delivery of real and lapsed time objective feedback” states the (English Institute Of Sport). During my first week at Oldham Netball Club, I was able to explain the above quote but in my own words to ensure that the team I was working with would clearly understand what Performance Analysis is. This resulted in positive feedback from the team, as they have never used anything of this sort as local town teams don’t have the money or funding like Premier League teams do.

Entry two

The role of a Performance Analyst

(14/11/2019)

Being a Performance Analyst entails many different aspects and more than what some people may think. Therefore during week two at Oldham Netball Club, I focused my time on showing the team what the role of a Performance Analyst is. However, as it was only week two I didn’t yet have access to a camcorder but this allowed me to show the team that analysing can be done in a notational way. (G.Arastey, 2018) Implies that “Notational analysis is the identification and analysis of critical events in a performance that leads to a positive and successful outcome.” Here I was able to explain this to the girls but also to add on that with Notational Analysis all you need is a pen and paper. So here, I was able to put this in place with the coach to allow this to be an activity that I can do with the girls next week.

Entry three

Notational Analysis

(21/11/2019)

This week, I was able to allow the girls to use Notational Analysis themselves with the assistance of myself within a netball drill. The team that I am working with at Oldham Netball Club has 16 players, I was able to put in place a half-court game where only 8 players are needed to do this. So then there was 8 players using Notational Analysis and then we would rota this so everyone had a fair chance at using this way of analysis. At the end of this session, I was able to ask the girls on their thoughts and opinions of the session. This was very positive. All of the girls said they thoroughly enjoyed the session and what we did by using the analysis as they was able to use their own knowledge of the sport in a different prospective and it allowed them to see things at the side of the court that they wouldn’t have in the past. Please see an example below.

Entry four

(28/11/2019)

The relationship of the Analyst and the Coach

During this week at the Club, I found that now it is vital to build more of a relationship with the head coach at Oldham Netball Club, Pamela Hazleton. Pam, is a very driven coach and is someone who is known with the netball industry to always have the most successful teams. At first, Pam was quite sceptical about the use of analysis within her team as her teams are successful without this. However, when explaining the process of what an analyst does she then warmed to this idea of me being here at the club. I was able to do this by telling Pam about an article that was published in 1986 by Franks and Miller. (Franks and Miller, 1986) States that “The overall probability of recalling critical events significantly for all coaches was approximately 42%.” This then allowed more of a relationship to be built between us on a professional side of things which had a positive impact on myself, Pam and also the team. Moving forward from this, as me and Pam have now built something on a professional side, she has invited me to next week’s game against their rival team, Tameside.

Entry five

Game Day

(08/12/19)

This is my first game day with Oldham Netball Club. I am feeling quite nervous and anxious about this, however keeping it together is the main thing I need to do to show that I am professional. At the game I am using Notational Analysis to analyse; successful/unsuccessful passes, successful/unsuccessful shots, successful interceptions, successful/unsuccessful rebounds and successful/unsuccessful centres as I do not have the equipment to record a successful video for the team. When the game finishes, it was proven that it was difficult to just use Notational Analysis for this as I wasn’t able to get everything and I had set myself too many key performance indicators to do this effectively. Here I was able to learn that they key to using Notational Analysis effectively is to first ask the coach two or three main things that she wants me to look at. Then I would have been able to give her back efficient evidence of my findings.

Entry six

Reflection with the Coach and Team

(12/12/19)

Following on from week five, I found that I really needed to redeem myself with the team and the coach as my analysis from their game was not effective to them. During this week, before training started I was able to gather the team and the coach to explain my errors and to apologise for not being an effective analyst. On the whole, everyone was accepting and we all moved on from the situation and started a fresh. However, I found that this week I took a step back to reflect on my weeks at the club before this event occurred. Allowing myself to realise that everyone makes mistakes and it is something for myself to learn and adapt from.

Entry seven

Video Analysis

(19/12/19)

During week 7, I found that it was now impeccable to talk to the girls about Video Analysis. As I haven’t been able to get the correct equipment to show them how I would use video analysis, I knew that I needed to inform them on how this works so they have an insight into what I could’ve done for their team. But first, I know in myself that this was a failure of mine for not getting equipment in time and being more organised for the team. Due to my knowledge of Performance Analysis I was able to inform the team that within sport, video analysis is able to capture information on moving objects through video usage. Examples of this varies from sport replays, gait analysis, speed and acceleration and much more. (Taylor, 2017) Implies that “One of the obvious benefits of using video analysis in sports is having the ability to hone in and work on the points where players need correcting or need to improve.” Instantly it is recognisable that an analyst is able to improve a player’s performance as for a player to be able to look back at a video of their performance, pre match and post-match it will allow them to fully view where their strengths and weaknesses are. In netball this can be used if an athlete’s weakness is the placement of the ball or if they are using incorrect passes in certain situations.

Entry eight

Technique Analysis

(09/01/20)

As my time with the team is coming to an end, I wanted to teach them about different analysis that can be used and I was very fortunate that Pam allowed me to do this at it did take them away from their training but however will also benefit their training in future preference if they use this themselves. “Technique analysis can be used as an analytical method used within sports biomechanics as part of performance analysis” (Science, 2002). Technique analysis is split into two qualitative and quantitative. (Science, 2002) States that “Qualitative technique analysis is characterized by observation and subjective judgement.” and “Quantitative technique analysis relies on biomechanical data collection methods.” Here I was able to educate the girls and Pam on technique analysis and how they can use the ‘Qualitative Technique Analysis.’ This was a really effective week as the education of this has shown Oldham Netball that money doesn’t need to be spent to do effective analysis all the time.

Entry nine

Team talk

(16/01/20)

This week I was able to solely receive feedback from the team and what they have learnt from myself about the time I have spent with them. This was very rewarding for myself as the feedback from the team members was mainly positive. However they didn’t let me of that easy, as they did give me some negative feedback but this was for the benefit of myself. Some team members mentioned that even though they now know some of what Performance Analysis entails, it would have been nice to see different systems that are used for video analysis which I failed to do. Thus allowing me to now realise that I do definitely need to be organised when it comes to planning the different sessions for individuals to get more from me.

Entry ten

Overall Reflection

(23/01/20)

As my time has come to an end at Oldham Netball Club, I wanted to focus my last week on reflecting at the time I have spent at the club and what I have learnt from this experience. This experience is one I will never forget and is something I will cherish for a long time as this is something so different to what I have done in the past. It has allowed my knowledge of Performance Analysis to grow from the mistakes that I have made within the 10 weeks at the club. It has shown me that in order to be an effective Performance Analyst organisation is essential and I did lack of this when it came to organising the equipment to do video analysis for the club. But overall it has been an honour to work with such a determined and successful club and to know that what I have done in these 10 weeks will make the team even stronger than what they already are.

References

English Institute Of Sport. (n.d.). English Institute Of Sport. Retrieved from Performance Analysis: https://www.eis2win.co.uk/service/performance-analysis/

Franks and Miller. (1986). Eyewitness Testimony in Sport.

G.Arastey. (2018, June 19). Notational Analysis: A Synonym Of Today's Performance Analysis. p. 1.

Kinetics, H. (n.d.). Use qualitative anatomical analysis to identify potential performance issues. Retrieved from https://uk.humankinetics.com/blogs/excerpts/use-qualitative-anatomical-analysis-to-identify-potential-performance-issues

Science, J. M. (2002). Technique Analysis In Sport: A Critical Review .

Tactics. (2017, September 12). The importance of tactics . Retrieved from Your tactical analyst: https://yourtacticalanalyst.com/the-importance-of-tactics/

Taylor, A. J. (2017, August 29). Video Analysis In Sport. Retrieved from iSports analysis: http://blog.isportsanalysis.com/video-analysis-sport/

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hylukotranslations · 6 years ago

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Pati Pati - vol 76, April 1991 Album: Kurutta Taiyou (Mad Sun) 2nd picture is a visual representation for the track: Machine

Toll Yagami (Drums) Interview by Kazuyoshi Aikawa (Doll)

At the indie time, all the interviews were done by you and U-ta. Does this mean you had a kind of position of the leader ?

Well, not really. Actually, at that time we were the only two members who could speak (laughs). Now all the members got used to the interviews and speak, but at our debut Imai or Hide almost didn't speak at all, right ? As well in the interviews as outside the job. Or maybe I should say that they were unable to speak (laughs).

Then you had the role of the decider ?

At the beginning a bit yes, but now it changed and we are a total democracy. So, when we choose the songs or for other stuffs, we decide on the majority. Since we are five, there is forcedly a majority. Because, since we are the current members, we've been having a strong will to always respect each other.

Then, everything is decided on the principle of majority

But after all, maybe I'm the one who forces things the most. How to say, I accept to some extent what is decided on the principle of majority, but when I think that something is really risky, or the method is completely wrong, even if I've lost, I quite often bring the decision by force to my side.

Maybe you look at the band in its globality

I don't know. Maybe I'm the most objective one. It would be weird if I say I'm not someone artistic, but in the contrary I'm the one who has the most "fan" mind... So I look at the band from this point of view. You know, I like to watch our own videos. And I think, ah that scene is filmed that way, this is seen like that, that's the way I look at the band.

Is it since before ? Or does it come from your temperament ?

Probably from my temperament (laughs). Since the time I've begun drums, it happened that I studied before a mirror how I would look like if I hit like this or that...

You are a nervous one

Quite ! I'm tense since the day preceding a live in a big hall (laughs). It can seem ridiculous, but it's like if I was preparing myself for a fighting position (laughs). I think the worry is bigger, I hope for example that the sticks won't fall, since if they fall the rhythm will stop. I'm like that.

Are you aware of the fact that what you've been doing so far and the results you got are being linked ?

I don't know... The fact that we are staying in this circle that way, and that our records sales go up to 500.000 copies, makes me feel something like destiny. You know, I believe in destiny. So I think that maybe we were lucky to have been guided by destiny. So, about the "Buck-Tick Genshou (Buck-Tick phenomenon)" at the Yutaka Koukaido (note : the live which permit the band to sign with a major label), I can only think that the audience accepted to be caught in the mechanism. Moreover, considering our abilities of that time, we weren't a band that could gather an audience that goes up to five times the capacity. Really, it was a circle where you do your utmost and then you can only let God decide for the rest.

Recently, you said that you can finally assert what you really are, does this mean you couldn't do that so far ?

In the beginning, when you start as a major band, you have, despite everything, to accept the major system. Really, until "Seventh Heaven", we were in a situation where we couldn't refuse what we disliked. So, it happened that Acchan had to do a game in a gathering of fans, and after that he went back home very angered (laughs). We thought, is it that to be a major band ? But we knew later that we were the first band to have done, for our launching, stuffs that usually idols do (laughs). It happened that we were the first ones to have done stuffs different from the methods used until there. So, when we knew that we were shocked (laughs). Because until there, we thought that what we did was normal.

Despite of that, you've been expressing in your albums stuffs that are very self-asserting

Because we all wanted to engrave the best of what we had at these moments. So, it's not really a matter of technique, we pulled out the maximum we could at that moment, and stocked it. This means that we don't think about what comes after. In the interviews, when we were asked something like "what will happen next ?", we were often in a state where we said "We don't know. Since we pulled everything out we are like a blank paper, we can't say anything anymore". Today we are still like that.

In this meaning, in this "Kurutta Taiyou", in what did you pull out everything ?

The basis of the arrangement is that, Imai does his own, and Hide his own... So, what I cared the most about was, since guitars and vocals are put over me, I had to make their basis as solid as possible. I think this comes from what "Taboo" 's producer learnt me, the sensation of "just" which doesn't allow the sound's trembling. Until there, I didn't think about it that much. So, maybe I was too indulgent towards myself. When I thought it was right following my sensibility, I imposed it. I didn't listen enough to other persons' opinion, I was just thinking that if I felt it good, that was right.

With what kind of stance do you consider the Rock that you do ?

There are sounds and it certainly is a style too. So, I think that if we were popular, that would be rather weird. If it's not maniac to some extent, maybe it won't be cool enough... In reality, I think that people listen to music with that state of mind too. They think that this band is cool because they are different from the others on such points. As far as I'm concerned, the bands that I've liked so far are all original bands too.

You mean that their music is transmitted distinctively from the one of the idols ?

It's rather something that people feel at the moment they see us, and we don't force ourselves to show that we are different from them. When we show ourselves in lives and if we ask, do we look like idols, I think we don't. Until now we've been, in an usual way, playing in livehouses, that's our way of expression. So we don't care about how people see us, when they see bands something lets them guess how the latters grew up.

Then, how do you see the other bands ?

Well, I think that the ones that passed through identical methods look somewhere like us. Not the sounds, but the impression they give, their presence.

When you said a moment ago that you could play your own way, does this come from concrete results such as the number of audience or your albums sales ?

I thought that after all, if you win you become the imperial army (laughs). It allows you to say whatever you want.

Making this album, did you think you won ?

I don't really know what is to win or loose, but we have deepened what we really wanted to do, using as much recording time as we wanted. (laughs) We used around 900 hours. So, I wondered if we were in a situation where we were allowed to do that. You know, only 3 years have passed since our debut, but during that time it happened quite many stuffs in our band. Like that incident (note : probably the fact that Hisashi was arrested for lsd use). At that moment, I honestly thought we had lost. It was like, we couldn't say what we want anymore. And that was really the case. In the final analysis, it was like if we had completely lost our will during the process of rebirth... If I say it exaggeratedly, we were at the point 0 at that moment. From the point of view of our album sales, we hadn't fallen, but psychologically, how to say, we experienced again a decline (laughs). Personally, I couldn't care less about if our sales fell. What I want is to accomplish what we want to do. The basis of Buck-Tick's music is that the melodies are our major premise, so I think that we'll never escape from that objective (laughs).

By the way, you said you'd want to play in livehouses

Yes, like at Shinjuku Loft. If we limit the audience, I think it would be possible, and there won't be any problem. Even if they are only few hundreds, there is more pressure when they are closer to us, so we could see very clearly who they are looking at. Thinking about it now, I think it would be interesting. Just imagine Acchan facing empty seats, singing sitting next to a spectator (laughs).

Talking in this meaning, what could be the things you lost and the ones you gained arriving at this point ?

What we lost is surely, Imai and Acchan were targeted about it, our private life. It's really awful, these pictures, magazines. We'd like to say, we are a rock band so these things don't concern you at all. What we gained... a bit popularity, and fans (laughs).

Living your way, where do you look for for your feeling of satisfaction, as a musician ?

I simply wish we could reach the popularity of Yu-min or Southern (note : Southern All Stars). To get a solid status. That we could freely do all what we want to do, in a good meaning, wishing that our audience would accept it.

--fin

translation: hyluko [livejournal] scans: tigerpal [livejournal]

NOTE: these translations are not mine also might not be very accurate. i took them from hyluko’s site using the wayback machine. thought they’re great to share. if the owner is around and wants me to take them down i will!

#バクチク #ヤガミトール #狂った太陽 #Buck-Tick #Toll Yagami #Kurutta Taiyou #translation #pati-pati

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bookdragonlibrary · 5 years ago

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First Tuesday YJ appreciation

1-3 ; 4-6 ; 7-9 ; 10-13 ; 14-16 ; 17 ; 18 ; 19 ; 20 ; 21 ; 22 ; 23 ; 24-26

—————————— Influence

- The half part of Justice League who is in space.

- The victims of the battle were Thanagarians against the parademons. No idea for the first but the last one sounds like the ennemis in the JL films, both animated and real.

- Apokoliptans kakash are parademons. Kakash is an insult. I took it :)

- Lieutenant Thal is Hawkwoman and Captain Hol is Hawkman.

- Apokolips stole Nth metal, a rare material from Thanagan. What does Darkseid whant to do with it?

- “Earthlings biosigns” the metaslaves :( Now Aliens see Earth as a threat...

- Commander Talak is pretty deft or blind, or stubborn for not understanding it or he took a bribe for Apokolips?

- “We should send our Hawk fleet to put Earth on quarantaine.” As it happened in the first JL series? Will Earth have to fight Hawk and Darkseid at the same time?

- Guy gives me life xD He’s like an adult Bart! He found a new lead to save the metateens!

- (So much information in 3min!)

- Tara, Violet and Forager are cute with their burrito.

-Don’t talk about Wally! :’( “Today’s the day” ok, now I’m crying... Aquaman cheer me up!

- I’m sure James Gordon still worked with Batman secretly, right?

- Of course, Granny accused Dakar Marlowe of this debacle... who’s dead and can’t tell the truth. “New and improved technology” the same problem but more difficult to shut down... Great. And they will still give found the MHYC.

- Garfield just did like his brother-in-law and lost his shirt :D “I know what you are, Gretchen.” That was a stupid move, Gar...

- Mogo, the sentient Green Lantern planet, exists in YJ verse.

- Did Guy just sing about his ass? Kakash!

- Now they’re on the Team I want them to interact with the others. OMG Violet is NB!! Brion is a supportive boyfriend as always! They’re so cute when they’re embarassed! And Tara is smiling at them!

- “I’m really thrilled you discovered who you are inside” Believe me, M’gann went there before, with her color skin insecurities.

- The Hall of Justice is still in ruins? :( The UN has a satellite near the Watchtower? It’s to spy on them? “Who watches the Watchmen?” Seriously?

- Now, Lena Luthor, Lex’s sister, runs LexCorp. Is she secretly working with him? LexCorp is also giving fonds to the MHYC? That can’t be good news...

- Gretchen is torturing poor Barda :( Is she controled too? Or just brainwashed? So Granny works directly for Darkseid, is she part of the Light to spy on Earthlings?

- Desaad, we saw him in season 1 and at the end of season 2.

- “It wasn’t torture, it was discipline.” Sure, all abusers say that...

- Did Victor sense Violet’s text because he’s connected to her as Father and Motherbox or just connected to technology in general? Victor seems so embarassed :(

- Helga feeling useless just to lay her hands on Victor? Nobody sees that?

- Tara is working with Slade as she’s recording Dr Jace’s words. Is she against her and not the Team for once?

- Heil? Now Darkseid is the new Hitler. Or it’s Granny?

- Barda is brainwashed.

- Still no sound in space, the battle is pretty cool :)

- So clever to punch the wall at the same time than the missile to cover.

- Section 16.

- “Sommon the Furies!” Will we see Scandal’s girlfriend?

“Stay whelmed.” Did Superman picked that directly from Dick or from Conner?

- Missing 8 from Markovia. Aren’t they 6 now or were they other teens? Who is the blue skin boy and why does this girl have a drawing on her forehead? Magical tatoo like Atlanteans?

- All the stolen materials served to build this machine. What does it do?

- Whoa, the Furies can go hand to hand with the big hitter of the JL!

- Granny is definitely a sadistic... she attackes her own team slaves. Not surprising.

- What is it doing? They look like they disapear like Wally. Will it the one who’ll bring him back?

- Being saved by their “ennemies” maybe will turn the Furies into good.

- Of course, Superman, the only man, is the one who succeeded to go out... Even Superman can’t breathe in outter space?

- Garfield is not happy with Granny...

- Wolf and Bioship again!

—————————— Leverage

- Four 16 in 30 sec, a record!

- It’s the alien animal from season 2!

- The producer knows Granny can “ruin” a person. So she’s not as sweet as she want us to believe even in her civies...

- Auntie Mouse, this nickname is so cute! Lian is so cute!

- “They always said recon only. It never turned out that way.” I’m pretty sure the first team told him their mission as bedtime stories xD

- Markovia should be in East Europe if it was under Sovietic Union’s influence during the cold war. Maybe Vlatava is also in Central Europe or in East Europe.

- ED! I love his teasing and sarcasm xD

- Is the blonde girl the same they save in the gladiatory in episode 13?

- Did he just say crash? He must hang out with the Team pretty often and took from Virgil who took it from Bart xD

What did he call Nathaniel Newt? Wait, did he mean Neut like Neutron? Why would Nath even wants to be called that? Did he know what he did in Bart’s timeline by the way?

- Inhibitor collars? Are they produced by Granny?

- Polar suits like in the trailer!

- So the green aura can also make illusions and make you invisible?

- Lieutenant Dimitri Plushkin and Colonel Olga Ilyich as Red soldiers/Red Brigade. Area 52. Is that an easter egg for Area 51? Did the Russians took inspiration from Blue’s armor?

- Why the JL is presented as American while it has Aliens as members, Atlanteans and Amazones? --’ It should be presented as an international alliance to protect the Earth and protect humankind, not just the USA... (thank you for the imperialism...)

- Here are Captain Boomerang, Monsieur Mallah and Black Manta.

- “Did anyone tell them?” xD

- The Russian armor look like the ones from a video game, what’s its name again? Blue VS Red?

- “What the what now?” xD

- Artemis just burned BM with words!

- Siblings teamwork!

- The Red transformation was really painful to watch, even with just sounds... Not a magical girl transformation you want to watch every episode...

- “Little Sheila” is that an Australian expression? The only Sheila I know in the show is Tye’s mom but I doubt CB knows her.

- This face it’s was Vertigo’s minion. And Violet is gory again è.é Why is she pink instead of violet? It’s to protect her as she’s healing? What does the pink color do by the way?

- “Halo, Boom Tube” uuuuh was not your goal to not look like bad guys in flee? But to make a diplomatic conversation with the Russians?

- Did CB just made a Looser sign? “They should not be underestimated”. BM learnt his lesson in S2E19 :) So the bad guys and... I assume is Amanda Waller know the JL has a young covert cop unite, crash...

- The US government doesn’t like a competitor as they wanted to eliminate the Rocket Red Brigade and steal their tech for their own. Cold War is back again!

- So she makes them obey with chocks and a promised blown head just like in the film right? She’s quite the same sadistic woman than Granny but it’s ok because she works with the “good guys” understaood (US) governement... She’s even ready to sacrifice US teenagers (well except for Brion and Tara, but you got my point.) Do you realise US governement is worst than the Russian one? Yes, the Red armor seems painful but at least they’re volunteers soldiers and not formal criminals used and tortured like in Guantanamo :( I mean Waller’s ways are the exact ones than Granny’s except Waller isn’t hypocrite about it.

- Ed is so great as a peer counselor, big bro Ed time! She’s the French speaker Black girl we saw in episode 13 right?

- The team is between two fires...

- Brion plays the mole game xD

- Artemis is hurt! But why the laser never made wounds while Halo was gory again with a boomerang?

- Here’s Windfall! She sounds like a character in She-Ra right?

- Livewire is the protective butch girlfriend, isn’t she?

- Wendy is panicking because she realises she hurt someone? And she aspiring the air because she’s hyperventilating or something? “I’m a monster, a monster” Shh, baby girl it’s alright :(

- Big Bro Ed is hurt too :( (emotionnaly I mean) So heartbreaking :(

- They made Belle Reve like the Alcatraz in San Francisco right?

- Kaldur, the only Atlantean who can burn you with words!

- Why does Kaldur ask about Terra specifically? Does he know something? Or it’s because she’s new?

- Here’s Amanda Waller... Is Kaldur more worried about his father’s escape or his father being tortured? Does he know that by the way? or understood it with “very persuasive sticks and “extremely expendable”? Do you remember when we thought hopefully bad guys escaped from the Stagg op and will safely stay in Belle Reve while they were in the same condition and working for Waller? Do you imagine Livewire and Mist nearly suffer that too? :(

- Suicide Squad and Force X, they said it!

- “We all have secrets to keep.” Does he talk about the big secret with Batman and the others? *Artemis nods* You know he can’t see you?

- Dr Jace finally has her lab in Dakota city with... Hardwire? (I love his eyes!) All characters from Static Shock’s show/creator come from Dakota? Vic, how could you accept to be the rat lab from a stranger, possibly evil, and not from your father? :(

- Oh no, Wendy now wears a collar :( And Ed looks so sad about himself :(

- Dr Jace isn’t here only for testing Vic, but Violet too :( Wait... What does that look mean???

- Brion is such a caring and lovely boyfriend :3

- We still don’t know what CB meant by “proposition”... Did he want to make her turn into a bad guy or something?

- So it wasn’t a coincidence, but she opened it because of a bribe. What did they promise to her? offer to her? did she know it was for an assassination? Now Violet has a secret from her boyfriend about her past. She is Artemis’ mentee after all...

- Brucely! Where is your plushie? :(

—————————— Illusion of Control

- Aaaw! Bart hugs everyone like in season 2! :3 Ed is there and WAIT! Was that a kiss? *check again* I don’t know what this is supposed to be but it’s something right? And Ed is smiling at him!!

- Supermartian house! Forager moves his horns, so cute! Those scenes remind me of season 1! But Vic is still depressed and lonely :(

- Artemis, Will, what are those looks? Paula, stop making assumptions...

- Brion and Tara are there two!

- Dr Jace is not happy with what she found... Nothing good, guys!

- Ed’s smile again! I love it!

- OMG Jaime is so bad drawn this season... What happened to him?

- Gardita? Dudes, YJ fans can find better ship names that this, forget Gardita...

- “What didn’t you tell they’re coming?” Maybe because Jaime wanted to make a surprise for you maybe?

- “It’s so nice to see you again.” So crash Perdita often hangs out with the Team :) “I’m a big fan!” She’s so cute! :D

- “I feel like a fifth, sith, seventh wheel.” Poor Virgil :( Wait, that means there are 3 couples here, who are the third one... OMG is Bart and Ed? Ok, make sense after the “kiss” scene. Unexpected, but let’s see their dynamic! :D

- “Where’s the rest of the Team? Like, you know, Cassie?” Virgil misses his BF :)

- Lian is so cute! Did I already hear this mix of songs? In Misplaced, season 1! Why season 3 has so many season 1 vibes? Especially when Wally is still missing :(

- Violet doesn’t feel good. Probably because of Gabrielle’s action?

- I love Artemis’ Markovian accent! xD

- “Tara had been through a lot / She doesn’t talk much”. Silent could be a consequence of trauma :( Or is it because she doesn’t want to risk to blow her cover or to get attached to them?

- “It’s so nice that you two include me” Helga, stop, you make things suspicious.

- Aw, Ed has heart eyes while looking at Bart :3 “My friend” Wait, what? Are they still pining for each other? And the rest of the team know and wait for these two to make a move? Because Jaime and Traci seem to know Virgil was talking about them.

- “Watch me terrorise the other drivers.” Ed, the other drivers are mostly your students, don’t terrify them too much xD

- Bart’s smile is so cute! And it’s a genuine one!

- “You’ll pay for that, peasants!” I love Perdita! So great she can still have fun like a normal teenager!

- “Got to get a girlfriend” *next scene about lonely Victor* Is that a foreshadowing or...? Was I right when I said Vic can be gay in YJ?

- “Forager must help uncrush Victor Stone!” Forager is still cute. Why all the team are so cute? :D

- I love when Ed’s face soften when Perdita says they’re friends :) In Spanish! :D I’m sure Perdita could speak few foreign languages plus English and Spanish :)

- Wendy still wearing an inhibitor collar :( Aw, Perdita is so sweet with her, like they are two normal teen at high school :)

- Of course Bart did eat all the food in ten meters... And I love Ed’s amused face and Bart’s shock when he realises he did eat all the cotton candy xD (I just remember the scene in Teen Titans with Robin and Starfire and cotton candy ^^)

- Livewire brings cotton candy to Mist! :D

- Ed’s feel down despite all the work he does here. Do you want to create a club with Kaldur? Of course Bart supports him :)

- And Traci nudges Jaime again :( Now I understand why the nudge hurted him in Far Away episode: he has bruises here... Is that the only thing we’re going to see them do as a couple? :(

- Wait, did Bart say “Maybe I did eat too much cotton candy” or “Baby I did eat too much cotton candy?” Because it’s a lot different!

- Everyone is sick. Uh... Poison? Oh that’s Vertigo’s minion agin. There’s he is. No, Perdita is in danger! But she still has the nerve to punch him! Karabast! :o

- Arg, that should hurt to trip at superspeed :( And hurt to run at superspeed in jeans and not in a frictionless suit :( Of course Ed teleports next to him to see how Bart is :D

- Does Blue has canines that big all the time or it’s an effect on the suit?

- Lonely Vic again :(

- “I don’t have a Hive, Fred.” Don’t worry, Vic, you’re not the only freak here. Heck you’re talking to an alien!

- Butterfly Vic :) That would be another common point with Blue! (Yeah, I want them to interact at some point)

- Vic is still worried for Fred but don’t want to show it :)

- Scarab is back! I missed his snarky and sarcasm comments! And Blue is still tired by his suggestions! xD “Scarab wanted to blow it up, didn’t he?” Traci should see those interactions so often xD But it’s great she accepts Scarab :) Blue’s smile after she succeeded! And it’s me or Scarab sounds jealous? “Dude, you’re the king of overkill” xD

- “It’s good. Could use a little salt” My mom could say something like this xD

- “I’m so thankful to have been included.” Helga, you’re a terrible actress... Am I the only one seeing this? Or all the characters are blind? (Except Jeff, he’s a lost case, he’s in love... Actually why he’s in there with his lover?) Or I’m just overanalysing and YJ is leading me in a wrong path?

- The way Jace insists on the hero part feels like she’s doing this on purpose...

-Why Tara and Brion feel so bad? It’s not their fault! Or did they tell something to Jace thinking it was an innocent comment?

- Well, Jace didn’t apologise for the argument she created so maybe she did this on purpose. Or am I overreading this?

- Please don’t mention Wally again :( So basically Paula is afraid Artemis got killed in a mission (like she was for fake and like Wally?) and try to scare her with a wheelchair? “What will it take to covince you?” Yes, she’s totally scared and don’t know what to say anymore as a wheelchair (or any big wound) and Wally’s death don’t seem enough. “You don’t have to fight crime to help people.” This point is good, look at Ed :)

- “You and Will” Uh... no Paula, you got too far and that’s not your busines here... “Your sister isn’t coming back and Lian needs a mother.” Have to disagree... You should be worried for your daughter because it doesn’t seem by free will and Lian already has two female figures. So don’t force your second daughter in a relationship just for pratical things... Thank you no thank you.

- Ed and Bart are the two pathfinders/advance men (not sure of the accurate term) of the Team! :D

- I’m impressed Scarab uses metric and Jaime still understands it. They use metric in Mexico, right? That could explain why he’s at ease with both systems (unlike me xD).

- The Team is so clever! Virgil makes connexion that Vertigo doesn’t have those powers; Traci makes the link that what they see is at cause and Gar finds a solution :)

- “What are you made of?” “Sugar and spices and everything nice.” He’s a fan of cartoons for this second reference right? And that reminds me of the scene between Bart and the Terror Twins at Mount Justice. Bart, sweetie, stop punching people stronger than you :(

- I thought the guy was powerless (I mean litterarly), how could he resist a bear’s strenght?

- Uh, that wasn’t Vertigo’s voice. “Be careful my love.” So Vertigo (or whoever this is) is with their minion? Like a boss and his secretary?

- Perdita going straight for the nuts xD Vertigo killed her father? That’s why she was queen at ten :( She should talk with Brion and Tara, they also know an uncle who killed their parents for the throne...

- It was Psimon, make so much sense! I knew I know this voice! Meaning the other is... Devastation! We know theiy’re together since episode 13.

- “He... She was Devastation!” Jaime would never misgender someone! :)

- I love when the girl saves herself but the boyfriend is still worried for her :)

- “Are you... Come on!” We feel you, Virgil!

- The Team is still so clever to connect the clues. Of course Big Brother Ed is worried for Wend and the others ^^ (He didn’t name any other kids. Is it because he “failed” her and not the others?)

- Bart and Ed finish each other sentence! :D

- Bart is so clever he put fire againt ice xD

- No the boom tube, the boys will be kidnap... Oh come on! I theorise for months about this scene! “Don’t want to know where that would lead us;” Bart, I tried to figure it out for months, be kind.

- “There’s just no pleasing you...” Jaime, be gentle, Scarab is learning, you see?

- After their fight in season 2, it’s good to see Ed openly worries for his father :)

- Gar is so pissed about the covert part since 2 episodes.

- Poor Violet, it’s not her fault :( But Jace is more and more suspicious. Wanting to keep secrets like this... Did she speak German with “Hallo”? “It’s been a long time.” Who is she calling? Jeff? Someone we don’t know?

- It’s Mal and Karen! :D

- Vic rejoins them and Forager is happy! Vic is smiling!

- “I’m more a lemonperson myself.” Bart, what are you saying? xD Don’t change! And that goofy smile xD

- Ed’s soft smile! :D (while looking at him?)

- Virgil, you’re good, you don’t need a girlfriend for that D: But he’s so awkward at flirting it’s so sweet!

- Did the “hot” comment was necessary? è.é

- Gar is up for something... Going solo behind the Team’s back?

- Forager is eating with/in the bioship:3 Wait did he fart and burp inside of her too?!

#young justice #YJ reviews #watch young justice outsiders #watch young justice

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xbananaleensyo · 6 years ago

Text

Numb Calls and Dumb Walls

Ship: Ohmtoonz

Warnings: Depictions of mental illness/dissociation, mentions of trauma

Words: 2,754

Summary: There was a lot of things that Cartoonz didn’t understand. Dissociation? What is that? But damnit there was one thing he knew: he loved his boyfriend and he’ll help him cope any way he can.

A/N: So I’ll mention this again, if you’re sensitive to the topics above I suggest not giving this a read. I want you to be safe. This was, more or less, a coping fic of some sort that I wrote on a bad day. It's also not a universal depiction of what's happening. Kinda based it mostly on my own experiences and some accounts I read online but everyone is different. Also, also these are real grounding exercises if you wanna research those! They’re pretty niffty for like anxiety and stuff. But before this note gets too long: any likes/reblogs/comments are highly appreciated! And I hope ye enjoy! Have a nice day, yo

Cartoonz was in love with Ohmwrecker. In turn, that means he cared deeply about him and vice versa. Ohm was a beautiful man in his eyes. He had so much compassion to give, so much information in his head, so many laughs and witty comebacks between his lips. He was proud to be his boyfriend. But, unsurprisingly, Ohm had faults, he had demons, he had nightmares. And Cartoonz knew that. Everyone experienced pain, afterall. He was willing to work with them, however. It was the only way to go forward in their relationship. Even if it was something he didn’t understand at first. Ohm seemed to notice that too. They needed to let each other in one day. That’s why they were here, sitting on Ohm’s bed, as he confesses that his brain was, as he calls it, ‘a little weird’. It was a new world to Cartoonz, talks of mental illness and trauma was only something he advocated for but not something he actually experienced. But now he was sitting there, Ohm in his lap holding down tears, as he explains the troubles of his mind and past life. Ohm doesn’t like to remember it, or his brain doesn’t like to remember it, so it doesn’t at times. It flights.

Ohm calls it “checking out”. He said this is what he called it before he figured out what it really was. Ohm describes it as being there but not really being there. Like you’re slowly shutting down but never completely off. Time doesn’t exist. Nothing exists except the numbing wave he drowns in and the thoughts that sometimes float with him. He can fake ‘normal’ if he tries, he says, but it never looks or feels as genuine no matter how hard he pushes it. He can escape after awhile but some days his body just gives up. He found it relaxing but at the same time anxiety-inducing and frustrating when he can’t get out. “I have stuff to do, things to feel and I can’t get to them when I’m like that. I don’t like it when I’m like that.” Ohm admits, biting his bottom lip. Cartoonz brushes his lip out from under his teeth before he makes it bleed.

When Cartoonz first saw it happening with his own eyes he was scared. He didn’t know what to do. His body was there but Ohm wasn’t. His face was a blank canvas without all the pretty expressions he knew Ohm made. His eyes held nothing, his tone was forced. It was scary that someone that didn’t know him too well probably couldn’t tell the difference. And when Ohm finally snapped out of it a couple hours later, he was surprised it was evening. He was surprised at Cartoonz’s panicked expression.

“Toony, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” Ohm started stuttering. But Cartoonz just shook his head. It wasn’t his fault, it was things that happened to him that were at fault. The trauma that he had no control over. They spent that night talking about what happened and assuring Ohm that he’s not just crazy. Cartoonz didn’t care that he had to wash his shirt afterwards.

“I think…I think I know how you can help. But you have to be patient.” Ohm admitted one night during dinner. Cartoonz stopped the mouthful he was about to eat and gave Ohm his full attention. “I know you’re scared to touch me when I’m in that state…but please, just touch me. I’ve realized it’s easy to pull myself out when there’s something tangible I can ground myself on. Just remind me to come back to reality. Remind me there is a reality to come back to…” Ohm’s breath started to stagger. These things were never easy for him to talk about. Cartoonz walked around the table to Ohm’s side, kneeled down and grasped his hands. He kissed Ohm’s cheek, reminding him if he needed him to hold on, he’ll never let go.

Cartoonz learned a lot of stuff along the year he’s been with Ohm. It was a lot of trial and error and a lot of learning for both parties. It was a lot of studying and working around things. But things are worth it when it came to his boyfriend.

Sometimes, there was signs when something was wrong. Like when Ohm loses interest in things or when he starts to pull away and isolate himself. That’s usually when the walls start happening, the wall that cuts him off from the world in front of him. The wall that contains him in his lost space. Ohm says his focus usually starts getting fuzzy when he gets overwhelmed or when he has a flashback. But since it’s impossible for Cartoonz to foresee things like that they came up with a color system to communicate with. Code: Lime Green (Ohm’s favorite color) when he was good. Code: Grey when he was in-between. Code: Orange when he was anxious. Code: Blue when he was depressed. And finally, Code: Black when the numbness takes him. The same color as nothingness. Whatever color, Cartoonz still loved Ohm but it’s obvious that Cartoonz’s, and Ohm’s of course, favorite days were when they were fully engulfed in each other, enjoying the world, Ohm whispering ‘Lime Green’ over and over again.

Today, for some reason, felt off for Cartoonz. It wasn’t like his routine was any different. He woke up, went to the bathroom, fed his cat and went for a quick run. Then he ate breakfast, nursed his hot coffee while he texted Ohm his daily morning text. Ohm responded with a heart and a link to an article he found interesting. Today was a work day, which meant he was going to spend most of it recording, responding to emails and messages, and doing final edits before setting the videos live. It was a productive day but there was just something in his stomach that was telling him something was off. He felt off-balanced in a way. He quickly looked at the clock, realizing it was time to call Ohm and ask him what they wanted to do for dinner. Ohm hasn’t texted him since the afternoon. That was a common thing though. It was something that happened a lot when they were both too engrossed in their work to talk but Cartoonz couldn’t help but think about the feeling in his stomach that he had all day. He started to worry when Ohm didn’t answer his call. On his second call, however, he answered on the fourth ring.

“Hello?” Cartoonz swallowed at the low, indifferent voice.

“Ohm? Is everything okay?” There was slow breathing on the other line until a raspy voice appeared.

“…Luke…Black…” And then the line was dead. Cartoonz pocketed his phone, grabbed his keys and a jacket and was out the door.

When he arrived at Ohm’s house, he saw the familiar tell-tale signs of a Code: Black. The blinds were closed which was unusual because Ryan likes to open the windows to let the spring breeze in during the morning. All the lights in the house were off even though it was nearing sunset and the faint glow of the sun was no good. As he neared Ryan’s door, he realized the front porch light wasn’t even set. Luke lifted the third potted plant that was near the porch swing, finding the spare key that was there just for him. He entered the house, finding it cold and quiet.

“Ryan? Are you here?” he called, turning on all the lights as he went and boosting up the thermostat. A jingling of bells answered him instead as Tiny starts galloping towards Luke from the hallway.

“Hey there, boy. Been keeping your Dad company while I was gone? Where’s your owner? Where’s Ryan?” Luke scratches the small dog’s chin, getting excited licks up his palm. Tiny whimpers at the mention of his owner. He barks and heads toward the hallway, looking back every once in awhile to make sure Cartoonz was following. He’s brought to Ohm’s office, where the man in question is sitting in his gaming chair in the middle of the room. The only thing illuminating the room were the duel screens from his PC set-up showing that he was in the middle of editing a video. But the man was turned away from it, choosing to look at the other direction instead.

“Ryan? Sweetheart? What are you looking at?” Cartoonz gently asked while Tiny settled back in between Ohm’s feet.

“A wall.” Ohm responded in a monotone voice. It was hollow and ghosted around the room. Cartoonz saw the wall too. Not the office wall, however, but the invisible wall that was blocking him from Ohm.

“Okay. Describe the wall for me.” Cartoonz says, taking off his jacket and throwing it on the couch. He turns on a lamp light, not wanting to turn on the ceiling light in case it was too bright. Finally, he sees his boyfriend’s face. It was blank, his eyes dull and glazed over. His cheeks were damp, signifying that must’ve been crying earlier. Cartoonz never liked when he looked like that. It pained him with worry. But his rational side told him not to panic. Panic was the last thing he needed in this situation. He learnt that the hard way.

“Describe the wall to me, sweetheart. What’s the color of the paint?” Ohm slightly lifts his head.

“It’s…it’s navy blue.” He takes a deep breath.

“Yes, it is. We painted it navy blue last summer if you remember. We’re in your office. Tell me more. What else do you see?” Cartoonz was on Ohm’s side now, stroking his hair softly.

“I see…there’s, there’s posters on the wall. Fan art….and a light switch…there’s a desk. There’s a bunny on the desk.” Ohm takes another deep breath. He starts to scrunch his eyes, trying to process what’s in front of him.

“Good, Ryan, good. Tell me what you hear now. Focus on your hearing.” Ohm thinks for a bit and licks his lips.

“I hear the fans of my computer…and scratching. Dog scratching…And…the heater?”

“Yeah, I turned it on when I came in.” Cartoonz nodded, waiting for him to continue. He starts humming a tune.

“I hear your accent and…humming. Are you humming your outro song?”

“Yeah, it’s the best goddamn song I know.” Cartoonz chuckles. A hint of a smile peaks out and Cartoonz knows it’s more of a real one than not. He swipes his hair one more time before sliding towards Ohm’s shoulder and down his arm, never leaving his person. Cartoonz walks around the chair so he was facing Ohm. He grips his hands, applying pressure with his thumbs to remind him he’s there.

“You’re doing so well. How’s it going, sweetheart? Squeeze my hands for me.” Ohm’s fingers twitch before clenching his hands around his. Cartoonz lightly squeezes back, hoping to bring him down.

Sometimes, this was enough. Sometimes, reminding him of his surroundings and giving him something to grasp was enough. But the way Ohm clenched and unclenched his hands and the way he shook his head with each steady breath, he realized he was still trying to claw his way out.

“Ryan, remember what we practiced, Love. Press your feet on the ground, tense your legs, then your thighs, then your stomach…keep going up. Pay attention to how it feels. Good, good.” Luke repeated the grounding technique. He knew it was easier for Ohm to focus with instruction. It was almost like a yoga coach. He watched Ohm’s muscles contract and relax then contract and relax again. It was a system of control, Ohm once said, it reminded him that he had control of his own body.

“Ryan. Listen. We’re in your office. It’s just me, you, and Tiny. It’s Monday in April. You’re okay. You’re safe. You can do this. There’s no danger here.” Luke repeated the affirmations until Ryan’s eyes started to flutter. They dart around, character splashing down his face. He meets Luke’s eyes and gives him a confused look. Luke lets go of Ryan’s hands and places them on his cheeks. Ryan follows him and lays his hands on top of Luke’s. “Ryan?”

“Luke you’re…how long have I been gone?” He was still trying to lift the final remnants of the fog but was coming to.

“About 15 or so minutes with me. Not sure how long before.”

“Shit.” Ryan muttered. “How did I let myself fall into that. I don’t understand what happened.” Cartoonz understood his disappointment. Self-awareness was something he’s been working on and has gotten quite good at. It must be frustrating to fall into habits again, it must be frustrating to remember he wasn’t linear.

“You responded this time though. You picked up the phone and told me what was happening. We went through the motions together. That’s a good sign.” Ohm closed his eyes while Cartoonz massaged his cheeks. The times when Ryan was unresponsive were the hardest ones. All Luke could do was hold him, wait and wonder where his mind was taking him. Thankfully, those were rare days.

“Yeah, I can vaguely recall that. I tried to stay. I did good. I’m here.” Ryan sternly told himself. He opened his eyes and gave Luke a smile. It reflected all the soft things he was finally feeling. Cartoonz kissed the tip of his nose then another one to his lips.

“Okay, bitch. It’s time to eat dinner now. Look, I’m starving and I know you are too. Think I still have some sweet tea stashed in your fridge.” They walked to the kitchen deciding to order delivery instead. Ohm wanted to watch some movies too but he knew it was just an excuse to cuddle on the couch. Cartoonz was pouring them glasses of sweet tea, looking through food options on his phone. “Hey, babe, does Thai sound good? I’m kinda feelin’ spicy and…” His sentence was cut off suddenly, when he hears objects fall on the floor. Cartoonz pivots and walks into the livingroom to find Ohm, a stack of DVDs dropped on the ground, while staring at his wall calendar.

“It’s April 7th. That makes a lot of sense now.” He says moreso to himself than to his partner. Cartoonz’s breath hitches. How did he not realize the date? He knew it was April but…was that what his body was trying to tell him all day? Cartoonz thought back to April 7th of last year. It was filled with so much tears and a whirlwind of emotions. So much phasing in and out. Cartoonz never forgot how fragile Ohm felt. Ohm was in so much pain. It messed with him that he couldn’t fully comprehend the things that haunted him about this day. It was a nightmare.

Cartoonz braced himself, ready to catch his boyfriend if he fell again. He was ready to do it all night if he had to. Cartoonz loved Ohmwrecker. He was never going to let him go through this day alone.

“Well, damnit.” Ohm said. He took a long breath and tapped his fingerprints on the shelf before picking up the pen he hung next to his calendar. Ryan crossed out the date with a big ‘x’. “Yeah, Thai sounds fine, Toonzy. You think the restaurant down west is open and can deliver? They make a mean Pad Thai.” He starts picking up the movies he’s dropped, fingering through which ones they should watch. Cartoonz just continues looking on, his heart swelling in his chest.

“I can feel you staring at me, Toonz. And I know what you’re thinking. The date still bothers me obviously; as we saw earlier. But I’m fine at the moment. I want to stay in the present with you. I will stay in the present with you.” Cartoonz was always amazed at the strength his boyfriend had. He was amazed that the capacity of it was limitless. He was fighting but he put out one hell of a fight.

“I’m so proud of you, love. So fucking proud.” Cartoonz trails his lips down Ohm’s jaw until their lips meet. They took their time to taste each other, to feel the other so close. Ohm released and leaned his forehead on his. They entangled fingers for a second, just basking in the moment before Ohm giggles and leads them back into the kitchen. Cartoonz still didn’t know how he managed to find such a wonderful man.

#banana writes #banana bus squad #ohmtoonz #/mental illness #/dissociation #I was really nervous about this #but maybe some people will feel that they arent alone #plus the grounding stuff!#maybe people might dig those #cartoonz is a sappy boyfriend 100%#will call him all the pet names

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