#only he can heal me bloc party

[yuzudonut]

Driftrod is about being friends with someone on a very shallow level while having delusions about the actual depth of your relationship. Post-funeral driftrod is about being a lonely widow and you realize most of your friends are either dead or moreso your late husband's friends than your own. All you have is that guy you who defended you that one time and you dedicated yourself to before realizing he'd never do you right and moving on. On the other side, Lets Fake It Till We Make It Babbbyyyy!!! 🗣🎉‼️

[areyoudreaminof]

King Under Your Control-An Azris Playlist

It's the final entry to the ACOTAR Playlist Project? Can you believe?!

I wanted to finish with a bang. Azris, the crackship to end them all. I'm also of the opinion that Azris has some of the best writers in this fandom, and this playlist is for them. This tracklist was inspired by all of the art and fics I've been blown away by. @iftheshoef1tz, @ofduskanddreams, @secret-third-thing, and @krem-does-stuff specifically. But there are too many to name.

LISTEN HERE and take a look at the tracklist behind the cut!

King-Years & Years

I was a king under your control And, oh, oh, oh I wanna feel like you've let me go, so let me go Don't you remember how I used to like Being on the line? I dreamed you dreamed of me calling out my name Is it worth the price?

Zephyrus-Bloc Party

And all you said in your quietest voice Was "I needed you as much as they do" And all you said in your quietest voice Was "I needed you as much as they do" How fast must we run before we can just take off in flight? How far must we run before they do not recognise us? So let's take this from the start, you'll be me and I'll be you

Casanova-Allie X & VERITE

I'm here lying on the bed of your tongue My heart listens to the sound of your war drum Steady tiptoeing to your neck of the woods I feel danger on your lips but it tastes good

Sex and Violence-Scissor Sisters

Everytime I spend myself it never runs too low Woah, woah, woah I can't escape my need for

Sex and violence Never let you see them hand in hand One is with the other The softest touches deeper than the ocean Give it to me faster, feel it, feel it

NEW MAGIC WAND-Tyler the Creator

Ayo, take one look in the mirror, implications so clear I live life with no fear, except for the idea That one day you won't be here I will not fetch the ball Eyes are green, I eat my vegetables

Ties-Years & Years

And you're a dancer, well, I'm a spy It's so beautiful to see you lie Are you having fun? Then give it up, you don't need that stress You're still hungry for another test Are you having fun?

Under the Sheets-Ellie Goulding

We're under the sheets and you're killin' me In our house made of paper, your words all over me We're under the sheets and you're killin' me Like all the boys before

Bad Habit-Foals

'Cause if I go Where the flowers grow Into the deep below Oh, would you forget me now? And if I could Make the days okay Wash the stains away Oh, would you forget me now?

Pink + White

That's the way every day goes Every time we've no control If the sky is pink and white If the ground is black and yellow It's the same way you showed me Nod my head, don't close my eyes Halfway on a slow move It's the same way you showed me If you could fly, then you'd feel south Up north's getting cold soon The way it is, we're on land Still, I'm someone to hold true Keep you cool when it's still alive Won't let you down when it's all ruin

Sweet Dreams-Angel Olsen

Every time I take a breath Something once living inside me has left Yes, it's alive but it's just passed through It's just left me and it's just left you On your own

Only He Can Heal Me-Bloc Party

When the trappings of the body Lead me to that hopeless place And I feel my spirit crumble Under strain and under guilt Lay me down in rivers cleansing Where the tall grass grows and grows And let me wait until My saviour comes home

In My Room-Frank Ocean

Got this lust for life in me, yeah Horny for the game, uh First they kiss, then they bite soft, uh Then that bitch wanna play it off, huh Fuck it, I'm pretty still in a pit of snakes While serpents shake some brand new scales I need a new face, I'm tired of these weirdos

Wolf Like Me-TV on the Radio

Dream me, oh, dreamer, down to the floor Open my hands and let them weave onto yours Feel me, completer, down to my core Open my heart and let it bleed onto yours Feeding on fever, down on all fours Show you what all the howling is for

Genghis Khan-Miike Snow

I know there's no form And no labels to put on To this thing we keep And dip into when we need And I don't have the right To ask where you go at night But the waves hit my head To think someone's in your bed

Magnets-Disclosure

Dancing past the point of no return Let go, we can free ourselves of all we've learned I love this secret language that we're speakin' Say it to me, let's embrace the point of no return

I’m Done with the World (& It’s Done with Me)-Foals

The fox is dead in the garden The hedges are on fire in the country lanes And all I want to do is get out of the rain An autumn day, an autumn day My daughter's asleep in the garden The leaves are on fire in the country lanes And all I want to do is get out of the rain On an autumn day, on an autumn day I’m done with the world and it’s done with me All I wanna do is get up and leave Sun falls into the garden I’m on my knees

TAGLIST: @iftheshoef1tz @ofduskanddreams @krem-does-stuff @secret-third-thing @queercontrarian @born-to-riot @yanny-77 @acourtofladydeath @witch-and-her-witcher @fieldofdaisiies @chunkypossum @thelovelymadone @velidewrites @octobers-veryown @asnowfern

[whatyouwantedmetosee]

let me rest there by my saviours feet for only he can heal me

[orpheuslament]

Only He Can Heal Me - Bloc Party (I feel like the lyrics would be your vibe)

not my usual style but enjoyed it nonetheless !

[quitetheketch-moved]

rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to! put your music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people

tagged by @thehuskingbee​ I will take any chance to talk about my music so askldjf thank you :D also doing this on main but I was tagged over on @commiedeanwinchester​ (shameless self promotion of the sideblog? me? never.)

Not tagging anyone because i’m shy and anxious but like, if you wanna take this chance to like talk about your music tastes and rec some songs Please Please feel free to tag me because i eat that shit up lmao. 

Brothers Blood - Kevin Devine 

please don't let the fact this song is 8 goddamn mins long scare you it’s really good. From the Dean fanmix wip I got going.

Ghost - Badflower 

cw suicide for this one. It’s just an angsty downer like it hits when you need it to hit but it is what it is.

You Do It Well - Saint Motel 

It’s indie prog what do you want? The whole point is vaguely incomprehensible lyrics. Enjoy. 

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - The Animals

Just a classic.

Rattlesnake - Kabaret Sybarit 

Ever heard the sound of a Danish dark cabaret band? Would you like to?

Achilles Come Down - Gangs of Youths

I’m not crying over a Greek, you’re crying. Shut up. 

Oscar The Hypno Dog - The Divine Comedy

He ordered me to dance - I was in a trance! @.@

Everything at Once - Lenka

We love a good pop song in this house. 

Parting of the Sensory - Modest Mouse

oh thank god, if a modest mouse song hadn’t shown up I may have had to have cheated. Like that’s my jam. Songs about being poor and stressed and dead ah yes music to my ears. 

Only He Can Heal Me - Bloc Party

I shouldn’t even need to try and sell this one. Gay 🥰

Skin - Oingo Boingo 

Danny Elfman sing me away buddy you nabbed the last spot.

[qwertyfingers]

jacob for the name ask playlist thing!

here you go jd!!

joy - ionnalee

jupiter - james mcallister, sufjan stevens

adulthood - jukebox the ghost

cassisus - foals

charon - keaton henson

only he can heal me - bloc party

opus 44 - dustin o’halloran

offerign - cults

brothers on a hotel bed - death cab for cutie

books from boxes - maximo park

bullets - editors

busy earnin’ - jungle

send me your name/url and i’ll make a playlist for you :)

[aniallating]

IF I’VE DONE WRONG | a Quentin playlist | listen here

a mix for when u refuse to give up no matter how much it sucks and also the world owes you like 16 favours after this so you deserve to fuckin relax. relevant lyrics/timeline under the cut!

01 your side of the bed / landon austin (post-mosaic) ・ i can't sleep cause she's where you're supposed to be ・ she's getting all the songs you used to get / she's getting all the words inside of my head / she's sleeping on your side of the bed, but it's still your side / now i'm up all night

02 fools / troye sivan ・ i need time to replace what i gave away / and my hopes, they are high, i must keep them small / though i try to resist, i still want it all ・ i see a little house on the hill and children's names / i see quiet nights poured over ice and tanqueray / but everything is shattering and it's my mistake / only fools fall for you

03 memo / years & years ・ you seek yourself in another way / i try my best but i don't ever change ・ i want you to stay / and if i try my hardest, would you look my way? ・ let me take your heart, love you in the dark / no one has to see / i want more, i want more

04 you're somebody else / flora cash (the monster) ・ i saw the part of you that only when you're older you will see, too / you will see, too / i held the better cards, but every stroke of luck has got a bleed through ・ well, you look like yourself but you're somebody else / only it ain't on the surface / well, you talk like yourself / no, i hear someone else, though / now you're making me nervous ・ you were the better part of every bit of beating heart i had / whatever i had

05 wide eyed / billy lockett (the seam) ・ truth is i'm used to making it up on my own / how long will i climb out? i never listen / i'm in remission ・ how long will i say yes over my conscience? truth is i'm wasted before i take it all in / how long will i blame it on past life tragedy? there's no remedy ・ i can't pretend it's not the end / no, it's not the end

06 in my blood / shawn mendes (4x13 who?) ・ keep telling me that it gets better / does it ever? help me, it's like the walls are caving in / sometimes i feel like giving up, no medicine is strong enough ・ i'm looking through my phone again, feeling anxious / afraid to be alone again, i hate this ・ sometimes i feel like giving up, but i just can't / it isn't in my blood

07 all i have to give the world is me / tegan and sara (4x13 WHO) ・ talked myself out of being me, didn't wanna fight my own worst enemy ・ staring down my two halves in the glass feels like a heart attack / telling me to choose one or the other, i get so panicked / i don't wanna lose, but if i choose love, what will happen then? ・ you don't have to change, you don't have to change / all i have to give this world is me, and that's it / all i have to show this world is me, and that's it / just me, just me, just me

08 i wanna get better / bleachers ・ i've trained myself to give up on the past cause i froze in time between hearses and caskets ・ i chase that feeling of an eighteen-year-old who didn't know what loss was / now i'm a stranger ・ i miss the days of a life still permanent / mourn the years before i got carried away / so now i'm staring at the interstate, screaming at myself / hey, i wanna get better

09 mess is mine / vance joy (post-monster recovery) ・ do you like walking in the rain? when you think of love, do you think of pain? you can tell me what you see, i will choose what i believe ・ this body is yours, this body is yours and mine / well hold on, darling, this mess was yours / now your mess is mine ・ your mess is mine / this body's yours and this body's mine / your mess is mine

10 made up love song #43 / lewis watson ・ i love you through sparks and shining dragons, i do / and the symmetry in your northern grin ・ you got me off the sofa, just sprang out of the air / the best things come from nowhere, i can't believe you care ・ yes, i believe you, yes, i believe you

11 straight to hell / hollerado ・ must we explain the perfect moments, like hummingbird wings? they are meant to move too fast for our eyes / and i believe in evolution and the wonder of all things, so why can't salvation be mine? ・ i'm sorry if i've done wrong / but i won't back down cause we don't last long

12 sunday / bloc party (healing) ・ i'll love you in the morning when you're still hungover / i'll love you in the morning when you're still strung out ・ there might be ones who are smarter than you, that have the right answers, that wear better shoes / forget about those melting ice caps, we're doing the best with what we've got ・ when i'm with you i am calm, a pearl in your oyster / head on my chest, a silent smile, a private kind of happiness / you see, giant proclamations are all very well, but our love is louder than words

wow cant believe quentin survived the seam and also told the library to fuck off and now has the time he deserves to recover and heal and be in love with eliot, s5 dont @ me

[meowminto]

Lead me to my only temple  Where I overcome defeat  And let me rest there by my saviour's feet For only he can heal me  Help me overcome it  For only he can heal me with his touch

 🎧 Bloc Party – Only He Can Heal Me

[supernoondles]

2019

The last day of 2019 was also the day I fainted for the first time--a fitting metaphor for the year.

2019 was overall very emotionally taxing. This year was emotionally defined by falling intensely, deeply in love with someone (who is a very private person so I will try to be vague to respect that) and being in a lot of pain because of situations mostly outside of our control. There were a lot of intensely joyous moments, and a lot of intensely sad ones. Throughout it all I wish I had communicated better. I also made some bad decisions with another person I really loved and cared about that resulted in us growing apart. Do I think I grew from the experiences? For sure. Do I wish I could have come upon these realizations through a different course of action? Also yes. Am I fully healed from the experiences? Not really, but I've been getting better.

2019 was also very bad in terms of research. It was the 2nd year of my PhD. After I submitted my rotation project I basically felt stuck in the swamp of my advisors rejecting new project ideas for like literally half a year. This, combined with my high emotional volatility (partially due to starting birth control), made me really sad, unmotivated, and susceptible to self-blame. I definitely had high expectations for myself and became frustrated at my lack of progress and felt a lot of pressure from myself to get my shit together. I also felt incredibly bad after most advisor meetings and not supported by one of them to the point where I had to have a conversation with him about the lack of support (which was very scary)! Things started picking up, though, near the end of the year. I published a paper in collaboration with a former post-doc/now professor elsewhere whom I learned a lot from, and started finally building out another system. I also started mentoring an undergrad who at some point told me I helped him feel like he had something important to say and belong at Stanford for the first time and those words meant a lot to me. I think I'm continuing to refine what I value as research contributions and increasingly think about what it means to build systems that aren't used outside of the lab to satisfy the annual conference publishing cycle. I'm also starting to feel the pressure of doing work that follows a narrative rather than random projects that interest me.

Oh, I guess in terms of "program requirements," I did finish taking required classes, passed qualifying exams, and got a master's degree. But honestly those weren't hard at all nor do I think are externally valued in the larger research community, so I don't really celebrate them as accomplishments beyond surface level.

In 2019 I saw two different therapists. The first one was awful, I think directly influenced some of my bad decisions, and also didn't respect my gender identity??? The second one is a lot better and I'm grateful to see her, even if 90% of our sessions are just talking about my relationship (romantic/advisor) issues, which is something I want to move away from in the future. But I also feel incredibly privileged when relationship issues are the primary stressors in my life--I am grateful I feel equipped to handle other crap, like deadlines, and don't have to worry about my own health.

Those were the main things that have colored this year. We'll now move into the section of this post where I go through my photos to jog my memory of other events.

New years started a tradition of getting dim sum with Jasper, Matthew, and Michelle dear to my heart. My high school friend was also visiting and we all attended a really awesome new year's eve party. I was also going on a lot of dates and having a lot of good sex, which made me really happy, and at the same time crying all the time at work. In February I received probably the best gift anyone has ever given me and saw Panic! at the Disco, which I said in an end of the year group meeting was a good memory of my year (it was, to relive my scene days!). In March I roadtripped both to Marin (which I had never to been before, despite all my years in the bay) and LA for Wondercon; it was nice to both see high school friends and go on a trip with the boo. In April I went on a hike with my office which was probably the start of us all becoming closer (we are the social office in the wing now, which I take pride in! Also we draw a lot of Pokemon which warms my heart). In May I went to CHI in Glasgow and then to Paris afterward, and the entire experience was very weird and bad and also too many flights were canceled and/or missed and I vowed to not return to Europe for a while, but man do I love the noodles at Trois Fois plus de Piment. In June we hosted a double apartment party with my downstairs neighbors (side note: I am really appreciative of the place I live in, for the community, convenience, and large-ass space and will be really sad to be kicked out fall 2020) and I started a friendship important to me. I cat-sat for my advisor (the one who doesn't make me feel bad) twice. I went to Redwood State Park with my family and hosted a summer solstice celebration. Over the summer a friend I met in Paris back in 2017 moved in with me. I had a much needed escape from the bay to Seattle where I was reminded how abundant the world can be. I also went to Tahoe to celebrate my parents' anniversary, and really liked stumbling upon a smaller lake with a cheap boat rental. Then I became FOMO about the highly competitive Bay Area camping and did a last minute walk-in at Redwood Basin in Santa Cruz, which made me realize that I don't actually love camping (but was nice nonetheless). I ate an expensive meal at Commonwealth before they closed. For my birthday we made a friendship quilt and I served my favorite dish of cumin lamb but it was also 90 degrees in my apartment (I felt really bad and bought two fans afterwards). I started buying many cartoon frog plush after being gifted a $3.99 on sale Safeway frog (called Baby!). I went on Tinder dates (one of which was at a quaker yard sale marketed as Harvest Festival where I got a 1970s Kermit puppet for like $2) that largely went nowhere. My high school friend visited and we were both sad about break ups. I did Inktober before I went to New Orleans for a conference on Bourbon St where everything felt like it was coated in a sticky film of alcohol. I almost missed my flight home because I fell asleep in a sculpture garden but I had the most amazing Uber driver who snaked his way through traffic (oh and the flight was delayed by like 3 hours). I went to kind of embarrassing haunted houses and pumpkin patches over Halloween, but also had the most incredible bowl of ramen at Mensho. My whole office dressed up as Zootopia characters which warmed my furry heart. I spent like $120 on a Pokemon shirt. I started playing Arkham Horror and rekindled another friendship important to me. In November went on a road trip to Big Sur because again, I had to escape it all. For Christmas Eve dinner I roasted a duck for the first time (which was delicious). Shortly after I waited in line for 2 hours for a rollercoaster at Great America, which taught me the value of buying a fast pass because at this point in my life that money is worth it, and then waited 2 hours in line at the DMV to get a RealID (I had made an appointment, which was the fast pass).

Okay, now we move to the hobby section!

I got really into sewing in 2019, having received a sewing machine last Christmas. I made a Judy Hopps (which I wore to CrunchyRoll Expo) and Korok cosplay (Fanime), several unsuccessful garments, a crab bean bag, a dice bag, a fanny pack, and put hearts nipples on a jumpsuit.

Shows! I think I went to way fewer shows this year. The ones I can remember are Elephant Gym, Thom Yorke the night before I had an 8am flight, Carly Rae Jepsen over pride weekend (also, she is my #1 artist of the year, which makes a lot of sense given my emotional space), Mitski at Stern Grove, Capitol Hill Bloc Party (which was super lame, except for Lizzo, where I cried), and the National (which was a fucking surreal experience as they played on Stanford's campus, I was the only one within earshot of myself who knew the words to Crybaby Geeks, and then the white catalog moms came up to me after to thank me for singing the song).

I also started playing my own music! I started playing viola again for the first time in 7 years (lol) in both pop-up concerts with the Awesome Orchestra (one in Golden Gate Park, one at the Exploratorium) and a string quartet through my school. Sometimes I am filled with joy and delight. Other times interpersonal tensions run high and also I am very bad at being in tune. It's life.

Media! I really liked Mob Psycho 100 Season 2 and Beastars. I feel like those were the only notable anime I watched this year? I saw the Farewell three times--first in Seattle where I sobbed for like 1 hour after the movie, the second time with my parents, and the third where Awkwafina was present for a Q&A. I thought Parasite was incredible and Promare was OK. I have spent an unfortunately large amount of my time playing Pokemon Masters. I finally beat BOTW and completed my Pokedex in Shield like 2 weeks after getting the game.

Resolutions! In my draft of my 2018 end of year post (which I never polished and posted, sorry), I said my resolutions were 1. come out to my parents 2. draw enough to table at an anime con 3. be disciplined about paper reading and have a doc. I did none of these things!!! However, for 1, I feel like I am well equipped to have this conversation but am waiting for my sibling to do it first out of respect. 2 was just bad. I barely drew this year except for gifts. 3 was okay--I did have a large doc in the beginning of the year when I was looking for ideas, but as time went on I abandoned it (I also stopped reading papers, which I don't think you're supposed to do as a grad student...)

My resolutions this year are phrased as intentions (-(c) Matthew). They span several categories. Relationships: I want to open myself to and actively seek experiences of love, because I miss that. That being said, I will only date someone if 1. they have their life together 2. they love themselves and 3. they challenge me to grow. (I do think you can experience love without dating; the thing I'm after is love in an expansive sense.) Work: I want to do enough work so I don't feel guilty about not doing enough work, and also not berate myself for taking a long time to do things. Hobbies: I want to sew at least one thing a month. Chinese: I want to improve my Chinese, especially pronunciation.

Having written this 20 days into 2020, it's not been so bad so far. But I was also really happy in the beginning of 2019. Here's to no global maxima, a monotonically increasing year!

[sugarkittea]

About the Author Tag Game

Rules of the Game: Answer these questions and tag 10 blogs you’d like to know better.

thank you @pinkpeonyhedgehog for tagging me!! :3

1.     Nickname: Most people call me Indy!! its just a nickname i got when i was a wee little babii

2.     Zodiac: Scorpio ! !!

3.     Height: 5′2 

4.     Time: 4:23 AM (what is a healthy sleep schedule) 

5.     Favorite Band/Artist: Arcade fire (probably) 

6.     Song Stuck in My Head: only he can heal me by bloc party 

7.     Last Movie I Saw: Penguin Highway w/ my partner hohoho

8.     Last Thing I Googled: arcade fire lol

9.     Other Blogs: i only have a private that i hide from everyone except people who unlocked friendship tier lvl5 

10.  Do I Get Asks?: sometimes.. mostly by people asking me to draw wild fetish shit 

11.  Why This Username?: honestly dont remember, and i wanna change it

12.  Following: 43 blogs (i dont really follow on this blog, mostly my private)

13.  Average Amount of Sleep: 7-16 hours

14.  Lucky Number: dont got one 

15.  What Am I Wearing: black sweater and black sweat pants, true lazy goth aesthetic 

16.  Dream Job: this but famous

17.  Dream Trip: Japan with my partner and friends honestly 

18.  Favorite Food: spaghetti or sushi 

19.  Instruments I Play: nothing, but im pretty good at karaoke 

20.  Eye Colour: ive been told light brown or hazel 

21.  Hair Colour: black

22.  Aesthetic: poor goth 

23.  Languages I Speak: english, and spanish (kinda)

24.  Most Iconic Song: primadonna by marina 

25.  Random Fact: i have 3 tattoos and lottsa piercings 

tagging: @demon-gf @nyandalee @kagenui @tomatomagica @weshouldallbecomesurgeons @rap1993 thats all i can think of srry 

[prince-x-reader]

Only He Can Heal Me is the pnly one I couldn't get. Everything else was fine and I see exactly what you mean about them!

☾ That’s really annoying, but unsurprising!! I always have trouble trying to send my American friends Bloc Party songs, I think it should be on spotify if you really want to listen to it.

Also, I’m glad!

[phgq]

Death of Jevilyn Cullamat highlights Reds' senseless cause

#PHnews: Death of Jevilyn Cullamat highlights Reds' senseless cause

MANILA – The death of the 22-year-old daughter of Bayan Muna Party-list Rep. Eufemia Campos Cullamat in a clash between the New People's Army (NPA) and government forces in Surigao Del Sur over the weekend highlights the senseless conflict being waged by communist terrorists.

"The death of 22-year-old armed rebel Jevilyn Cullamat during an encounter between the NPA and government forces is a grim reminder of the effects of the fruitless armed conflict perpetrated by these communist terrorist groups," Defense Secretary Delfin Lorenzana said in a statement Sunday night.

Lorenzana said members of the Philippine Army (PA)'s 3rd Special Force Battalion immediately evacuated the younger Cullamat's cadaver from the encounter site in the hinterlands of Barangay San Isidro, Marihatag, Surigao del Sur on Saturday afternoon.

"The military has also readily coordinated and provided transportation as well as security assistance to the Cullamat family. I have instructed the responding units of the Armed Forces of the Philippines to ensure that the NPA casualty is treated with dignity," he said.

Lorenzana called on Makabayan bloc representatives and all those who condone the atrocities committed by the NPA to denounce the divisive ideology that destroys the lives and property of fellow Filipinos.

"Let this incident bring to the fore the duplicity of the communist terrorist movement, whose members in the higher echelons pit Filipinos against fellow Filipinos," he added.

The public, he said, can be rest assured that Filipino troops shall remain vigilant and ready to defend communities against the communist terrorists whose only goal is to sow hatred and violence.

In another interview Monday, the defense chief said the Communist Party of the Philippines (CPP)-NPA seems not to care about the deaths of the students and others they have recruited in their senseless fight.

"Para sa tingin naman ng defense tsaka security sector ay parang wala silang concern sa mga namamatay na mga estudyante, dating estudyante na sumasama sa mga NPA kasi karamihan ngayon sa kanilang nare-recruit ay kabataan. Ang tingin ko eh parang (As for the defense and security sector's perspective, it seems they do not have any concern for those students and former students who die after joining the NPA because they have recruited many of them. It seems to me that) they do not care if these people die for as long they can pursue their so-called armed struggle," he added.

Meanwhile, AFP spokesperson Marine Major Gen. Edgard Arevalo, in a statement late Sunday, said the military condoles with the Cullamat family following the death of Jevilyn.

"The AFP deeply condoles with Congresswoman Eufemia Cullamat and her family for the demise of her youngest daughter Jevilyn Cullamat, 22 years old, an NPA combatant, who died in an armed encounter with government security forces around 4 p.m. of 28 November 2020 in Barangay San Isidro, Marihatag, Surigao del Sur," he added.

Seized in the clash were five high powered firearms, explosives, and other communist terrorist group‘s documents and paraphernalia were confiscated.

"We grieve deeply with the Bayan Muna Representative and her family as we would for many Filipino families — including soldiers — who have lost a father, a mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, or kin who died in these more than five decades of fighting," he added.

Arevalo said this senseless killing of and by fellow Filipinos—espoused and propagated by CPP leaders like Jose Maria "Joma" Sison living luxuriously in some foreign land— should come to an end.

"We can only pray for the many youth whose lives have been wasted by Sison’s deception and lies — including that of the daughter of the Representative and other sorrowful mothers whose children have died or are now in the ranks of the NPA. Arevalo said they are reaching out to those who continue to fight for or advocate this meaningless battle. "We urge them to return to the folds of the law, assist in peaceful but meaningful change, and help heal the wounds that widely divided our nation and its people," he added.

Arevalo said there should not be another Jevilyn Cullamat or another Congresswoman Cullamat to suffer another loss for a senseless cause. (PNA)

***

References:

* Philippine News Agency. "Death of Jevilyn Cullamat highlights Reds' senseless cause." Philippine News Agency. https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1123339 (accessed November 30, 2020 at 07:06PM UTC+14).

* Philippine News Agency. "Death of Jevilyn Cullamat highlights Reds' senseless cause." Archive Today. https://archive.ph/?run=1&url=https://www.pna.gov.ph/articles/1123339 (archived).

[paultoner]

Take a Bite of Niall Candy

From dancing onstage with Charli XCX, to working almost every party you wish you were on the guestlist for, meet the London based drag queen about to push the throttle on their career.

Glitz. Glam. Galore. These are the type of words which spring to mind when you’re about to meet up with one of London’s most exciting drag queens. But it’s early Sunday evening and I find myself at a desolate pub tucked behind Granary Square in Kings Cross. The kind of place firmly left behind as London’s nightlife suffocates in gentrification. I’m surrounded by kids aimlessly trying to entertain themselves whilst their dads use the penultimate hours of the weekend to have a well-deserved catch up with good ol’ Stella Artois.

Niall Candy’s look today is rather tame, but within our unfortunately bleak surroundings, he’s as subdued as a jock-strap plastered in Swarovski crystals. His milky complexion compliments the pale pink kawaii-printed shirt he’s wrapped himself in, his eyebrows half shaven, his dark curls concealed by a beret held put by three rather large bedazzled clips. “At the moment everything has to be pink” he confesses, “the hair has to be pink, the eye makeup has to be pink. I don’t know why but if I put on anything else I don’t really want to wear it and I don’t really want to go out.” He politely turns down my offer to buy him a drink, he’s not the first boy to do so. Thankfully this time it wasn’t due to my piss-poor chat up lines, but because of a heavy night before, hosting a party at the Ned Hotel in Bank, “I basically got payed to stand around and look pretty all night, it was great.”  

Essentially Niall Candy is the Clark Kent of drag (as if Superman could get any camper?) By day he’s a final year fashion journalism student at Central Saint Martins, where he’s about to embark on his final major project, “it’s a magazine basically like the Country Life, but full of drag queens.” By night, he’s one of the most innovative faces within London’s queer nightlife sphere. “I learnt a lot of my drag make-up style from my friends in Paris. The House of Morue. I lived out there for 6 and a half months” he tells me, “that’s where my boyfriend lives. And he does drag. So I kind of had my own style, then I was very inspired by their style which is very severe. Very Mugler woman. Then I took part of their style, part of what I was already doing and I think it works.”

Candy’s look has evolved from stepping out a Harajuku day dream with gentler, dainty male-drag looks, like a school boy after a growth spurt, to larger-than-life anime eyes reminiscent of a Lady Gaga, Hello Kitty inspired, shoot back in 2010. To now, a mutant woman, subverting the clichés of feminine beauty. Endearing, with a dash of sexual confusion. Carrying the elegance of a forgotten starlet spat straight out the mouth of Andy Warhol’s Factory.

Long before we felt the true effects of the Ru-pocalypse, when drag was catapulted straight into the mainstream all thanks to a little show called RuPaul’s Drag Race, Candy was already doing drag for a hot minute. Clad in pleather skirts, New Look wedged heals and a fringed wigs straight out of the bag, a fake ID was his gateway to amercing himself in the serotonin-washed bliss of the capital’s queer nightlife spaces, from Dollar Baby in London Fields and Hoxton’s East Bloc, all at the tender age of sixteen.

Growing up in Watford, he was the only out-gay pupil in a school of 2,400 students. He needed an escape from heteronormative lifestyle of mundane village reality. So he downloaded Twitter and got in contact with Smiley Vyrus, a new kid to the London drag scene at the time, who he began spending most weekends with. “I would not go to school and not say anything to anyone, get my friends to sign me in” he admits, slightly squeamish at his once irrational behaviour, “ I would just get the train straight into London and stay at someone’s house and go out for the weekend.”

Although, his now signature mug hasn’t always had a mesmeric hold, confessing many of the queens he has recently affiliated himself with didn’t recall meeting him in his premature days of drag. Partially due to his naive skill with the paintbrush, “it was terrible, like I had that brow, that Latina bam bam” gesturing at a brow arched over half of his forehead’s surface area. But for the most part, because of a four year hiatus Candy took away from the scene.

A drastic revaluation to his life choices, Niall decided to swap spending his time dating 24 year olds from North London for the books. He had a lot of catching up to do. For all those days in his first year of sixth form spent with a lipstick or a glass of champers in his hand as opposed to a pen, dedicating all his free time toward his studies, even missing close friends’ eighteenth birthday parties in preparation for his A-Level exams.

Speaking of eighteenth birthdays, it was only shortly after his when Niall’s family decided to emigrate to Canada, “I really didn’t want to do drag when I first got out there because I needed to like find a friend” he says, before breaking into an embarrassed giggle. Thankfully, he only spent a year across the Atlantic before returning back to London in time to enrol for Central Saint Martins, and reintroduce himself to all the pretty thrills of his drag closet.

Two years into validating drag as a viable career path, it’s only been within the last few months that the cheques have begun to write themselves, “those queens who think RuPaul has made [drag] a very acceptable thing to do, they’re the ones who think they’re gonna become instantly famous and make all that money straight away. I can tell you from experience, I’ve been doing drag consistently full time for 2 years, maybe 3 years? I don’t know it all rolls into one, enough drunken nights it’s just like a blur. I’ve only in the last 6 months started to make money. Like enough that I can actually survive.”

And who better to continue your drag journey with than your boyfriend? Although Candy isn’t quick to shrug off accusations of jealousy, “we both decided to do drag stuff at the exact same time, and now sometimes it’s a jealous motivation” he admits, “If you’re gonna look good. then I’m gonna look good as well. It pushes us both to work a lot harder, its two brains instead of one, I never have a look that I don’t run past him first.” He speaks of Timothy through a particular tenderness, a genuine admiration. Throughout our discussion this evening, I’m arrested by Niall’s sincerity. He gives me hope that once you get through a drag queen’s tough outer shell, they’re surprisingly sweet on the inside.

“He’s quite genuine in a city full of fakes, I’ve always been struck by his kindness”, says Bailey Slater, a fashion journalist who first met Niall at age fourteen, waiting in line for a Charli XCX gig, “he’s always been a great person to get advice from, a real sweet soul.”

Niall speculates a supportive family network is at the route of his kindred spirit. Raised on a random stew of Cher, Gwen Stefani and Dolly Parton “In our house Dolly is held to a level of godliness��, his brother, eleven years senior of Niall, played a key role in paving his queer influences. “My brother made me watch Party Monster when I was a child child, and my parents lost their shit” he recalls, “he is very pro-gay, very pro-LGBT. The way he said it to me, as soon as he realised I was going to be gay, which it was no secret, he tried to educate himself as much as he could.” His parents are equally as supportive, as he jokes about a birthday post his mum wrote for him on Facebook were she only posted pictures of him in drag.

His passion for drag is potent. From throwing a sash around his head pretending to be Cilla Black as a child, to today, telling me plans of heading to America to escape the crippling restrains of being a queen in London, it’s unequivocal that he’s destined to make it. He has that dreamboat charm, with a twinge of awkwardness, the primal ideal of creative integrity, with common decency.

We walk to Euston station together, casually talking dreams of owning breast plates and plastic surgery wish-lists, I’m halted in query, “how do you plan to manage your double life? Balancing a full time drag career with hopes of also making it into the fashion industry. ” He ponders, “I honestly don’t know, but in the least cocky way possible, I want this so much that I will get it. I deserve everything.”

[promathome]

‘Music Shuffle’ Tag Game

Rules: Put your music on shuffle, list the first 9 songs and your favourite lyrics from each. Then tag 9 other people to participate!

@astralazuli tagged me to do this, and I love music so I just had to do it!!!

1. Strange Cakes by Big Black Delta

I know a fool only knows He knows enough, enough, oh Just blood and bones, a spark of the heart And then when we turn to dust

2. Lofticries by Purity Ring

Let it seep through your sockets and ears Into your precious ruptured skull Let it seep let it keep you from us Patiently heal you Patiently unreel you

3. This Modern Love by Bloc Party

And you told me you wanted to eat up my sadness Well jump on, enjoy, you can gorge away

4. Turning Into Stone by Phantogram

Unconscious mind Take me for a ride Destroying the man inside I should belong

5. Starlight by Muse

Starlight I will be chasing a starlight Until the end of my life I don't know if it's worth it anymore

6. Electric Love by BØRNS

Baby you're like lightning in a bottle I can't let you go now that I got it And all I need is to be struck By your electric love

7. Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back The less I give, the more I get back Oh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise I don't have a choice, but I still choose you

8. Into The Galaxy by Midnight Juggernauts

Floating to the edge of the world Floating to the edge of the sea Floating off the edge of the ocean Out into the galaxy

9. Be a Body (侘寂) by Grimes

I close my eyes until I see I don't need hands to touch me Be a body I lean on walls until I stand I touch my face with my hand Be a body

(I skipped two songs at most for this. Sue me.)

Anyway, the people I’ll tag are:

@yayitsscarlett @seikamoomoo @quickwit-punster (even though you’re practically never on here) @malevon @augustapendragon @symphonicsadness and yike!!! anyone else who wants to do this that I didn’t tag 

[andtheotherstars]

Long-ass Bloc O’ Text below the keep reading. 

TL;DR: I felt bad because I cheated in Dragon Age and had to invent a headcanon for it to make me feel better.

Spoilers for Hinterlands, Storm Coast (DA:I), The Urn of Sacred Ashes, and A Paragon Of Her Kind (DAO).

I’m currently playing Origins and Inquisition simultaneously. Origins on my laptop and Inquisition on my boyfriend’s PlayStation, both on the easiest mode possible because I play videogames for the story and not really for tactics and fighting and so on. I don’t know if it’s because of the game itself or because I didn’t manage to skill my characters properly.  I have 40 hours in Inquisition and it happened once that my whole party died. That was when we met that Frostback bitch in the Hinterlands. She flew past me and I thought she’d fly away again ‘cause all the dragons I’d seen so far were--whatever--fighting a giant and I could watch them from a safe distance. (That’s Storm Coast in case you’ve missed it. You can fight the giant afterwards.) Anyway, it went from, “Ooh, nice, another dragon. Let’s stop picking herbs and watch it for a while. Aaah! Oooh! Gorgeous!” to “AAAH! DRAGON! BACKTRACK! BACKTRACK!” in a matter of seconds. But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about.

Okay, so that was the only time my whole party died in Inquisiton. But Origins ... I’m telling you. I’m literally facepalming right now. I die all the time! Hell yeah, the combat in Inquisition is way better than in Origins--I can’t tell you how often my Warden has smashed his daggers into thin air because I didn’t manage to properly click the enemy. I might be such a noob because I’m generally new to videogames and/or because I never ever played a melee before. I was always a ranged attacker kinda guy, and still am. (Mages FTW!) And I realised long ago that my party isn’t really the best combination. No mage. Alistair and I are both tanks. Zevran should be the damage dealer but he’s such a loser, he dies all the time. And usually Dog. (Don’t know what he is. Tank?) 

It worked perfectly fine like that. Until the Deep Roads. The goddamned Deep Roads, gods, how I hate them! More than the Raw Fade. (Unpopular opinion: I actually like the Raw Fade.) The first time I died several times in a row was against Carta. After that I seriously considered taking Wynne with me--but no. I wanted my best bro Alistair and my boyfriend Zevran with me. I took Oghren to the Deep Roads instead of Dog, because it’s sort of a personal quest for him. I didn’t know how many times I’d died so far, and this dreadful thought was at the back of my mind. What if I have to fight Branka in the end?

Well, never mind Branka! I DIED ABOUT TWENTY TIMES TRYING TO BEAT THAT MOTHERFUCKING BROODMOTHER! I actually stopped playing Origins for weeks because I was so frustrated. And I didn’t want to walk all the way back and change my party, then walk all the way through the Deep Roads again. (I probably would’ve got lost and it would’ve taken twice as long to get back to that Broodmother.) Okay. So I took my laptop to my boyfriend’s so he could try to beat that bitch for me. (He’s a videogame pro.) Of course, the first thing he notices is that my party just sucks. I know. I know! But I love them! Okay? Okay. He died three times trying to kill the Broodmother. (Took him one round to get to know the controls and skills.) At least he’d managed to take two thirds of her HP. I only ever managed half. Anyway. That’s when he said the magic word: God mode.

“Why don’t you cheat a god mode?” I heard my alarm bells ring and an angelic choir sing Hallelujah at the same time. “You want me to cheat?!” I didn’t even cheat at class tests. Ever! Frankly, I cheated a lot playing Age of Mythology (O Canada!) but I was young and reckless. I felt a bit torn. I could cheat a party change, but I’d have to change it in the long run and I didn’t want to. I could cheat health poultices, but, nah, too complicated. I could cheat instant kill for every enemy around, but, nah, I like the fighting a little bit after all. I knew I’d have to kill an Archdemon sooner or later and I’d never manage if I couldn’t even kill that stupid Broodmother. But I felt like I’d abuse my characters’ trust. Poor Darrian, he’ll be so confused, I thought. But then again, it just wasn’t fun anymore dying all the time--and not only that. I mean, I couldn’t continue with the game as long as I couldn’t get past that enemy. And I knew it’d get worse. I knew that when I died five times trying to kill the Carta boss. I just didn’t know it’d be so soon and so frustrating. So I did cheat god mode.

I felt so bad. I know, it’s so ridiculous, it’s just a game after all. But anyone who is passionate about DA probably knows what I mean. It’s not just a game. So I immediately had that headcanon of the characters trying to figure out what in the Maker’s name happened.

Darrian stands in front of the Broodmother’s corpse. Blood splattered all over his armour. His daggers slip out of his hand. He rushes to give his companions a healing poultice, then lets himself slump to his knees with exhaustion while they wake up.

ALISTAIR: Darrian! Darrian! Maker’s-- ZEVRAN (gently takes Darrian’s face into his hands): For a moment there I thought that’s it.

Of course Zevran kisses Darrian. He’s so hard in love with him although he denies it. Alistair probably pulls a face now and contemplates wether this thing between Darrian and Zevran is something serious after all.

Darrian looks at his hands. He can’t quite believe that he got out of this without losing a limb, or quite frankly ... dying.

ALISTAIR: The last thing I saw before I passed out was how that--that thing grabbed you and shook you, and I--I thought I’d wake up and you’re-- DARRIAN (still looking at his hands): Yeah ... I thought that, too. ZEVRAN: Then how did you-- DARRIAN: I don’t know. (He shakes his head.) I don’t know what happened. OGHREN: Well, I’d say congratulations on that major adrenaline rush that made you single-handedly kill that-- (He gestures towards the corpse.) DARRIAN: No. No, you don’t understand. (He gestures, too. For the first time since he can remember, he’s lost for words.) I--it should’ve killed me. It literally broke my neck--

Everyone dashes forward to make sure Darrian’s neck is alright and he raises his arms in a defensive gesture.

DARRIAN: I’m alright, guys, I’m fine!

He gets up with a groan, picks up his daggers, and slides them into their sheaths.

ALISTAIR: You’re not alright. DARRIAN (sighs, then snaps): Okay. I’m not alright. Is that what you want to hear, Alistair? I don’t know what happened. I didn’t feel anything, I didn’t see anything, I just know that I should’ve died when I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I love being alive. It’s just--argh! 

Darrian hates it when he doesn’t understand something. This frustrates him just as much as those twenty unsuccessful attempts at killing that Broodmother frustrated me. He doesn’t want to think about it any further. They need to find Branka, and quick, before they get to the surface with their new dwarf allies and find all their other allies have been killed by darkspawn.

DARRIAN: Let’s just go. ZEVRAN (looks at Alistair): What he means is, ‘I’m sorry I yelled at you, Alistair, my dearest, bestest friend.’

Alistair says nothing. He knows that, so he smiles. 

They catch up with Darrian. Zevran brushes his fingertips along Darrian’s palm so subtle no one except them notices.

ZEVRAN (murmurs): We’ll find out what happened. DARRIAN (smiles ever so slightly and mouthes): Thanks. ZEVRAN: (still murmurs, but with mock-drama): And if not, maybe you were blessed by the great and glorious Andraste.

Darrian grins and shoves his elbow into Zevran’s side. Of course it was a joke, but maybe--just maybe-- A spark of hope leaps up inside of Darrian. He never believed in any gods or anything. Neither Elven nor human. (He’s a City Elf. But you knew that already if you ever played one.) Then again, only a few days ago, he couldn’t bring himself to pour the blood into Andraste’s supposed ashes.

Seriously. I wanted to be a Reaver so badly but when it came to the point where I had to pour the blood into the ashes, I couldn’t. I. Just. Couldn’t.  And, holy shit, while writing this just now, I realised I could headcanon a whole subplot. (I’m so gonna do that.)