#only for them to ruin it. i shouldnt expect anything but im still let down | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seijorhi · 4 years ago

Note

hello, im always on the hunt for new funky fresh yandere!suga content! i really enjoyed the post you made for him, it's exactly up my alley! would it be possible to request a gender neutral reader finding out just how much suga's been stalking them after they left him? by stumbling on something they shouldnt see (could be a dark room, or a journal, whatever youd like) and have him walk in on them then?

Suga will always be my first Haikyuu love, so of course!

Sugawara Koushi x Reader

TW stalking

Red Handed

When you were a little kid, your mom told you a story.

It was about a handsome man with a blue beard, the woman who married him despite the warning signs, and a locked cellar that was never supposed to be opened. You were too young to hear it, but as horrifying as it was - it stuck with you.

Curiosity can be a dangerous thing.

But sometimes… sometimes you just can’t help yourself.

In your defence it wasn’t so much a wilful breaking of trust so much as it was an honest mistake. Sort of.

It’s not the first time you’ve found yourself pouring over textbooks and hastily scrawled notes with Suga, but it is the first time it’s been just the two of you - and the first time it’s been at his place instead of yours.

“I give up,” you moan, letting your head fall flat against your notebook. “I’m gonna fail this stupid exam, drop out of school and have to resort to finding some rich, attractive guy to marry and support me instead.”

You’ve been at it for hours, the two of you spread out on his couch, a mountain of snacks between the two of you. You have to give Suga credit for that - the man knows how to keep you motivated to stay but this, this was beyond your limit. It’s never a good sign when you reread the same sentence five times and still have no idea what it says.

A soft laugh sounds and there’s a hand rubbing soothingly at your back, “Aw c’mon, don’t be so dramatic. You got me, right?”

You lift your head slightly to find him smiling at you with that same fond exasperation, and almost without meaning to you find your frown softening. It’s true. Suga’s pretty much your lifeline at this point - not to mention the reason you’re actually doing pretty well in most of your classes this semester.

God only knew where he found the patience.

“What, you gonna marry me when they kick me out in disgrace?” you ask with a wry half grin, pushing yourself away from your notes. “Take care of my freeloading ass?”

Suga doesn’t say anything for a moment. You brace yourself for the lecture and/or pep-talk he’s given you a thousand and one times before, but when you glance up at him again, the look on his face isn’t the one you’re expecting.

He’s still smiling, but there’s something… odd about it.

It’s just a flash, a flicker of something fleeting in his eyes-

You blink, and whatever it is- was - it’s gone and Suga’s looking at you with the same expression he always wears whenever you start bemoaning your future and the possibility of failing.

Huh… your eyebrows draw together, the faintest hint of unease teasing at your gut. Just for a moment - a split second - you could have sworn that…

But no, you’re just tired. Your brain is absolutely fried after hours studying, whatever you thought you saw, you must have imagined. Because Suga’s your friend. A good friend, maybe the best one you’ve ever had. Still… you really shouldn’t tease him like that.

“Hey, you know I’m kidding, right?” you ask, nudging his shoulder playfully. “Anyway, I think I’m done. I can’t look at these stupid notes anymore - they’re making even less sense than when we started.”

Suga sighs, rolling his neck and flipping the cover of the textbook shut. “Well I suppose it is getting late. Are you hungry? I can order some take out if you want-”

You shake your head before he can finish, “Nah, can’t tonight. I have a date,” you say, shooting him a wink. “Next time though? When everyone’s free. I feel a little guilty stealing all of your time for a one on one session as it is.”

Suga stills for a moment, glancing up to find you smiling sheepishly back at him. “Oh, a date? With that guy from class?” he asks, busying himself in tidying up the notes spread out across the coffee table.

That guy from class. Yeah, the one you haven’t been able to shut up about for weeks. That one.

“Yeah. Nothing crazy, just dinner and a movie - still, I think it’ll be fun, y’know?” You were trying for a blasé tone, but somehow you think the slight dusting of pink on your cheeks kind of ruins it a little bit.

So maybe you were a little excited about it - it wasn’t a crime was it?

Suga gives a non-committal hum, but doesn’t say any more on the topic. Together it doesn’t take the two of you long to clean up, gather your notes and stash the snacks back away for the next study session.

You still have enough time to dart home, have a shower and get ready, but- “Hey, before I go, is it okay if I use your bathroom?” you ask a little shyly. You guys have been friends for months, and you definitely don’t want to come across as rude, but you can’t deny there’s still something slightly embarrassing at having to ask permission.

“Yeah, of course. Down the hallway, last door on the right.”

You nod, thanking him quietly.

It’s a simple mistake. At the end of the hallway, there are two identical doors, both closed over.

Last door on the… left? That’s what he said, right?

You twist the doorknob, easing the door open and within a split second you know that you’ve got the wrong door because this is definitely not a bathroom, but…

Curiosity pushes you forward.

It’s Suga’s bedroom. Your feet move like they have a mind of their own, drawing you in further into his room. You’ve never been to his place before, and you’ve definitely never been in his bedroom before, but you can’t deny that you’re curious. Surprisingly it’s not the mess that you’re expecting - the double bed neatly made and aside from a sweater tossed haphazardly across the back of a chair and a pair of jeans that hadn’t quite made it into the laundry hamper, there’s no dirty clothes littering the floor.

You know it’s rude to pry. You know that, but in that moment you can’t seem to help yourself. Suga won’t mind, really, and it was an honest mistake.

There’s an acoustic guitar in the corner (does he play it, you wonder) and a volleyball covered in signatures sitting on one of the shelves above his desk. Even now, you know that he loves the sport with his whole heart. You’ve never been to a game before, but part of you thinks you’d like to, Suga always makes it sound so exciting. You find a smile creeping across your face as you wander over to have a closer look - there’s photo’s everywhere, in frames, pinned to a cork board on the wall - him with his family, with his friends, even one of the two of you together… and is that a medal?

You’re startled out of your thoughts by your phone vibrating in your pocket.

It should have been a wake up call, a sign from the universe to snap out of whatever nosy spell you’d managed to find yourself under and get out of Sugawara’s bedroom before he comes in to find you blatantly invading his privacy. It should have been - except instead you reach for your phone and fumble.

You’re incredibly thankful for the carpeted floor because you can only watch in horror as your phone clatters to the ground and bounces (bounces!) under his bed.

“Shit!” you curse under your breath, dropping to your knees and resting your cheek against the mattress as you reach blindly into the dark space.

It takes a second of fumbling before your hand lands on something. It’s not your phone, you can tell that much right off the bat - it’s bigger, a box of some kind.

You should have left it.

Really, Sugawara’s a young, healthy guy like any other - you have an inkling of what could be inside the box. And it’s not like you want to see whatever spank bank material your friend has stashed away, you don’t, but…

But there’s a voice in your head that ignores all of that. A voice that whispers so delightfully, so eagerly, for you to just open it.

Open it, it whispers as you slide it out and set it down on the bed, settling yourself down beside it.

Open it, it whispers as you run your fingers along the wooden lid, sanded smooth except for the intricate carving in the centre. It’s strangely beautiful you think - not exactly the kind of box you can imagine filling with something so lewd.

Maybe it’s not what you think… maybe Suga has something else stashed away in this pretty little box. What else could it be? What does a guy like Sugawara Koushi have hidden away under his bed?

Open it, it whispers as your fingers find the edge and you slowly slide it open.

You immediately wish you hadn’t.

It’s you.

The photo’s a little blurry, taken from a distance and zoomed in, but it’s definitely you, lying in your bed, head thrown back with your eyes closed, bottom lip caught between your teeth-

The sheets obscure the rest, but from the flush on your cheeks and the arm disappearing between your spread legs, it’s obvious what you’re doing.

There’s more. You with your friends, laughing. You out with your ex, maybe a month or so before you’d broken up. You in your bedroom again, a white fluffy towel wrapped around you, your hair still wet from the shower.

You walking home from class, taken from behind.

You in your favourite cafe, sitting by the window with a steaming mug in hand, staring out with a soft smile.

You tucked up on the couch, eating dinner with the TV playing in the background.

You.

Every single photograph was of you, and every single one of them taken without your knowledge. Pictures of you from last year, long before you ever met Suga. How long has he been-

You can’t even bring yourself to finish the thought. You feel sick, violated, your hands trembling as you flick through the images. You don’t want to see any more, but you can’t seem to stop yourself. You at the park with your friends, walking their dogs and chatting aimlessly. You bending over to pick up something, the shot framing your ass in a way that seems almost… lewd.

When did he take these? H-how had you never noticed?

Oh god, some of these are from outside your home.

Your stomach churns, you might actually vomit…

“Got lost, baby?”

You jump at the sudden interruption, quickly snapping the lid shut and shoving the little box of horrors away from you like it’s poison, hurried excuses already on the tip of your tongue - but it’s too late for that.

One look at Sugawara, standing framed in the doorway, watching you with an eerily calm expression upon his face and you know that it doesn’t matter what you say. There’s no denying what you’ve seen.

No coming back from it.

His eyes drift to the box, the incriminating pictures spilled across his sheets and he sighs. “You know, I wanted to make this special for you. I wanted to do this right.” His hazel eyes flicker back to you as he steps inside his bedroom and shuts the door behind him. The soft click has never sounded so deafening. So final. “But you just couldn’t help yourself, could you? You just couldn’t keep your nose out of where it doesn’t belong.”

Your heart thumps painfully against your ribs, the sound so loud that you’re sure he has to be able to hear it too. It’s not nausea that seeps through your veins, keeping you frozen in place, but fear. Suga’s always been such a gentle presence in your life but there’s no trace of that person left as he closes the distance between the two of you.

It’s all been a lie, a carefully crafted facade designed to pull you in. Do you even know him at all?

“S-suga, what-”

“Shh,” he murmurs, placing a finger across your lips, a soft, delicate smile playing across his features. “Didn’t your parents ever tell you that curiosity killed the cat?” He pauses for a moment, watching with wicked delight as your face pales and you jerk away from his touch with a strangled gasp. “It’s okay, baby, there’s no need to look so worried. Don’t you know I’d forgive you anything?”

His lips crash against yours before you can even think to reply.

#yandere haikyuu #yandere suga #yandere suga x reader #yandere sugawara koushi #yandere sugawara x reader #yandere sugawara koushi x reader #yandere imagines #my writing #yandere hq #yandere fic #sugawara x reader #suga x reader

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

Text

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever) where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person.

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should.

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but.

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too.

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free.

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for.

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish.

second: it’s. my. life.

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean? there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable.

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

#these are all lit FOR ME #a thot #and if ppl like it so be it #saizon #i am an iNSANE romantic #huge #heh

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moondustis · 6 years ago

Text

swang my way (m)

pairing: wong yukhei+ reader genre: smut word count: 2k summary: yukhei held his phone with one hand and a dumb look on his face. he had been looking at that picture since the moment you sent it, only stopping to reply to it. of all the things he was expecting you to reply to the vine compilation he had sent you with, a nude was the last one in the list

one of the certainty you have in your life is that if you asked someone to describe your personality in a few words, spontaneous would not be one of them. every action you made always involved a lot of thought and previous considerations. you hate changes and doing things out of nowhere, maybe because you are afraid of dealing with unknown situations or because you are just a creature of habit.

that’s why you think you are absolutely going crazy when you stand in front of a mirror, with nothing but the cutest pair of lingerie you own, ready to take a picture for you boyfriend.

it’s maybe not that big of a deal to some people, sure. but you, the virgin that sometimes blushed when her boyfriend touched her ass, had never done anything like this before. and yukhei hadn’t even ask sfor a sexy picture or anything, the last thing he texted you five minutes ago was about how good vine compilations were.

a wave of both excitement and anxiety hits your body when you kneel on the floor in front on the mirror, doing your best to mimic the pose from the pinterest picture you found. it’s not a bad view, you think to yourself, with the way your baby pink bralete makes your boobs look and how they match the soft red lipstick you applied.

you take a lot of pics with all the poses you could think of and, after laughing at how weird some of them look, you decide that looks good and natural enough.

your heart feels like it will jump out of your chest when you lay in bed and open your chat with yukhei. your minds goes through all the reasons you shouldn’t do this while you type and delete ten different texts.

after half an hour you decide on sending something that resembles a meme, because yukhei would like that.

you:

open for a surprise

you:

*attached picture*

you feel your heartbeat get faster and you have to put your phone away to try and make the dreading feeling in your stomach go away. you weren’t worried that yukhei would react badly, he was always sweet and made you feel special. no, you were more worried you were making a fool of yourself, that your attempts of looking sexy were a complete fail.

your thoughts are interrupted by the notification sound of your phone and if your heart wasn’t this fast already you are it would burst out of your chest. the sound doesn’t stop until you pick up your phone to see the notifications from your boyfriend.

yukhei:

assdffjsjjahdoaksskk

yukhei:

oooooooooh mY GOD

yukhei:

holy umfuckkkkkkk

yukhei:

damn baby u are so hot what did i do to deserve thisss

yukhei:

i feel like im about to die fuckk

knowing yukhei you fully expected him to overreact, so the blush that takes over your face is not that extreme. you still giggle at your phone, excited over how excited he seemed about the picture.

you:

stop

you:

im ao embarrassed

so*

yukhei:

noo u shouldnt be

yukhei:

i liked it a lot

you:

im glad u did

❤️

yukhei:

😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍

yukhei held his phone with one hand and a dumb look on his face. he had been looking at that picture since the moment you sent it, only stopping to reply to it. of all the things he was expecting you to reply to the vine compilation he had sent you with, a nude was the last one in the list. it wasn’t even a nude, just a picture of you looking cute in matching underwear but that was enough to get him in his feelings.

did he overreact? yes, maybe. but it was a surprise, he never thought you would ever send him something like that. you were usually shy and every time kisses between the two of you would get a little more heated, you would back off leaving him most of the time with a fully hard on and only his imagination.

it didn’t upset him, of course. he understood and respected that you weren’t ready for it. but sometimes his mind would be too much and he would wish so desperately for you to finally let, and want, him to do all the things his imagination came up with.

maybe, just maybe, this was a small step for you that was meant to show him you were ready for things to move a little forward. his heart raced at the thought of that.

yukhei:

so was this like an invitation to sext?

you:

no omg

i never even did that

yukhei:

oh lmao

okay

i mean i would be down to that if u wanted

like super down

😉

you:

lmao of course u would

but really i have no idea how to even do that

yukhei:

it’s pretty simple

what r u doing rn?

you:

glad u didnt ask what i would be doing if u were here rn

yukhei:

lmao

cmon im not that cliche

you:

so, right now im just laying in bed and texting u

wbu?

yukhei:

same... and thinking about what i would be doing if i was there with u

🤪🤪

you:

jfjffndvkkgdjj stfuuuuu

yukhei:

but fr

tell me

are u still wearing that lingerie or did u just put it on for the picture

you:

i am

*image attached*

his heart is not beating as much anymore but he can still hear it in the silence of the room. the other photo you sent was raunchier than the other, more spontaneous, it shows only your torso and it’s sinful how the baby pink lingerie makes you look almost angelic. like you came down to this earth to ruin him.

he doesn’t know if it’s just the picture or the whole thing of you doing this for him, but he can feel himself getting hard. still, he doesn’t touch himself just yet, hand wandering and stopping just above his waistband.

yukhei:

oooooooh god

u look so hot baby

u drive me crazy

im not even kidding i really wish i was there with u right now

you:

what would you want to do if u were?

yukhei:

fuck so many things

u have no idea how many fantasies i have with u

you:

tell me

ur favorite

it’s hard to pick a favorite. even more so now that he’s got something to upgrade his visual material. he likes imagining you riding him on the small he and mark got for their dorm when they moved in, a hand on your neck because ever since you told him it was sensitive, he couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to choke you. sometimes he imagines fucking you in a bathroom at a party because you just couldn’t wait until you got home, and everyone knows how well he’s doing it because you can’t keep quiet.

but the best one will always be the one you are on your knees, eyes staring up at him like you’re begging for him to fuck your mouth. it’s not the most scandalous thing but it gets him going like nothing else. just thinking about it has his dick twitching in his pants.

yukhei:

i like imagining u on ur knees

looking all obedient and pretty for me

you:

oh my god

yukhei:

and u let me fuck ur pretty mouth

like the good girl u are

you:

i would like to do that

“fuck” yukhei mutters and his hand automatically slides inside the pants and just a touch on his dick has him shivering. you said you wanted it, you wanted to make one of his fantasies come true.

slowly sliding his fist up and down his dick a couple time he decides it’s too much and not enough at the same time so he makes a bold move. clicking on his phone with one hand he goes to his contact list and clicks on your phone number.

the continuous wait sound makes him slightly nervous. the anticipation of hearing your voice right now, like this, making his insides warm.

“h-hi” is what you say after picking up and maybe it’s his mind playing tricks on him but your voice sounds a little breathless.

“hey, baby.” he says “i’m sorry i called i just really wanted to hear your voice.”

lame, that’s what he is.

“it’s okay, i’m glad you did.” he can’t help but giggle at your words.

“you’re perfect.” his hand is still moving lazily and he feels a bit ashamed for doing this when you sound so innocent. “and you drive me crazy, you have no idea.”

he wants to ask you for another picture, a video even, anything that shows him exactly what you are doing right now, but he assumes that would be too much. so he contents with the way your sounds are making him feel, the little moans that you let out are still shy even though you’re alone in your dorm room.

“tell me what u are doing, angel.” he almost begs and it takes a few heartbeats for you to finally reply.

“i’m... i’m touching myself.” is your reply and even if he suspected it, hearing it from you has him tightening h

is fist just a bit.

“how do you like to do it, huh? do you do it slow?”

“uhmm, i like to start slow and pick up the pace when it gets too much.” your voice is shy and it definitely sounds breathless right now. he moves his hand and up down, biting his lips with so much force that he’s sure it’ll be bruised tomorrow.

“do you like fingering yourself?” he asks and imagines what you would like with your legs spread open and two of your fingers inside of your tight cunt. he lets out a breathy moan.

“yeah, i do.” a moan just as loud as his leaves your mouth. “but i can barely fit two fingers inside, it’s to much.”

“fuck, fuck.” the speed of his hand just goes faster and faster, his whole body feeling electric. “i bet you are going to feel so tight around me, and so fucking good.”

the words just start coming out of his mouth and he can’t control it. doesn’t want to with the way you’re moaning for him, begging for something you can get just now. pleads of his name that make him feel on cloud nine.

he spreads the pre-cum that gathered around the tip of his cock and starts pumping faster, imaging he’s fucking your pussy instead. “i can’t to finally fuck you, babe. i wanna feel you around me so fucking bad, make you come all over my dick.”

“oh my god, holy shit i’m about to-“ and then you are coming with a long whine that sounds a lot like his name. he imagines what your face would look like right now, all blissed out and your body shaking from your orgasm.

he comes a heartbeat later, hand speeding up only to slow down again. he comes so hard that not only does he see stars, but he also feels them sparkling all over his body. “fuck” is all he manages to say.

you’re both trying to catch your breath and for a while it’s quiet besides that. he feels content and assumes you do too if the giggle you let out is any indication.

“i can’t believe we did this.”

“me neither.” he replies “i’m so glad you sent that photo.”

“me too” you say, your voice sounding like it does when you’re smiling. he desperately wishes he could kiss you right now.

“feel free to like send more anytime you want.”

you hum, like the idea pleases you. “we’ll see about that.” and then you’re hanging up.

yukhei:

not even a sleep well my baby thank u for the mind blowing orgasm?

im offended

you:

lmao u are so lame

goodnight my baby thank u for the average orgasm 😘

yukhei:

AVERAGE???

didnt sound like that to meee

...

baby

BABY

was it really not mind blowing

you:

go to sleep yukhei

yukhei:

ugh ok

goodnight sleep well my angel from above

😘😍❤️😍😘

#yukhei smut #lucas smut #yukhei scenarios #lucas scenarios #nct smut #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #nctwriters

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thevmontgomery · 5 years ago

Text

Montgomery Family Values

After Rocky’s vigil, Vanessa comes home to gather a few things and is unfortunately met with a Montgomery sibling meeting.

included: @montgomery-malachai triggers: homophobia, rocky’s death, slut shaming,

Vanessa: There were few situations Vanessa ever felt like she didn't have any control, there was only ever one that she's ever truly felt powerless: when it was her and her brothers. Vanessa had only came home to get a few things knowing that their father would be out, but caught her eldest brother Nate staring back at her with disappointment in his eyes as she was instructed to follow him to the dining room table, Kai already sitting there. She hadn't been home since she ran away and Vanessa knew it was only a matter of time before she would have to face her family. Her family that changed the locks on her, her family that took her son from him took every piece of existence of the boy out of the house, the family that made her feel like she didn't exist the majority of her life. Vanessa sat down across from Kai, not bothering to make eye contact.

kai: Kai hardly had a relationship with his eldest sibling, even when they were younger, he had always been closer to Vanessa. Something about Nate being able to bring out the almost submissive puppy in Kai, always breaking the hard exterior he built up as their conversation went. He had been sitting in the living room, his brothers eyes on him when they heard Vanessa pull up. Kai getting sent to sit at the dining table, popping one of his /sales/ in his mouth, dry swallowing it as he sat down. Hoping to feel something other than sobriety in this impromptu family meeting. His head glanced up as he heard the clicking of his sisters heels, rolling his eyes as she avoided eye contact with him. A part of him not shocked that she had left him with the two people he had hated most in the world, but a part of him still hurt by it.

Nate: "Sit," Nate instructed, sitting at the head of family seat. Looking over his siblings all he could feel was disgust and disappointment. "Have you two learned nothing?" he started. "All you two have done since I enlisted was cause Hell in this house. Mother would be turning in her grave if she knew how you two have become? A fucking useless teen mom and a drug dealing fairy. You two are going to wisen up and you're going to wisen up now!" his voice thundered. Nate turned his gaze to Vanessa, "And what do you have you have to say for yourself? Do you know the mess father and I have to clean up because you and those god awful Bells? Do you want to be one of their gang sluts for the rest of your life? You already fucked up your life getting pregnant and now you're going to let them ruin your life some more? You're going to pack up all your shit wherever you are and come home /tonight/. Not tomorrow, not when father is gone, /tonight/. And you..." he paused turning to Kai. "Fort Union Academy will be expecting you to move in this weekend."

kai: shook his head as Nate brought up their mother, no one in the house understanding Kai, especially after the accident. Talking or thinking about his mom was hard, let alone the thought that he wasnt what she would have wanted of him. He knew deep down that his mom would be disappointed in who he was, but he enjoyed himself, he loved himself. /most of the time/. His eyes glaring daggers at Nate as he addressed Vanessa. Knowing she went in on herself day in and day out, and now with rocky being gone he knew it had gotten worse. "dont act like you give a fuck," He spoke, for once getting bold with his brother. Instant regret washing through him as he turned to him, his brow raising, "youre funny if you think im getting shipped away like some fucking amazon return," he knew at that point he already sealed his deal, and he shouldnt have kept talking, but he had.

Vanessa: Even though Vanessa in her brain was the more mature one out of the three, she was also the most weak willed out of them and easily persuaded when it came to her family. She already felt so alone in the house that she would do anything to make her family happy with her again. Nate's words were hitting Vanessa like knives and she became that sad little forgotten girl once again. Tears started forming in Vanessa's eyes. Maybe if she had been a little nicer, a little prettier, a little smarter, a little more like her parents wanted, Rocky might still be here. If only she would have been enough all of this wouldn't have happened. "I... I get it, Nathanial," she said weakly, curling into herself. He was right. She was ruining everyone around her and letting other people ruin her. Before she could say anything else, she looked to Kai, shaking her head to stop him. Vanessa knew how cruel Nate was to Kai. She gave him a look of warning, hoping he'd stop talking. She'd take the beating if it meant Kai would be safe.

Nate: head snapped once he heard Kai's reply. "I don't give a fuck about some fag who is dead set on being a disappointment for the rest of his life. I'm concerned about our slut of a sister who killed our brother. Or did you forget?" He stood up, palms pressed against the table and eyes of fury. He took a deep breath, pretending to add some softness to his faith. "She's useless, beyond help according to father, but for whatever reason he thinks you can be fixed. A year at military school should /straighten/ you out in one way or another. It's not up for discussion. When father comes home your hair will be black again and you both will be grateful that he is continuing to let you live in his house. Do I make myself clear?"

kai: "No all you give a fuck about is impressing the image of a man who has never been a father to anyone but you," he spoke sharply, his whole body telling him to stand down. That his brother wasnt going to take kindly to his words, but the fire he felt in his skin from hearing him talk about vanessa, he couldnt stay quiet. "Shes amazing. If you took a fucking second to look past what father has warped into that peanut brain, you wouldve seen the person she really is. Shes not a slut, shes not an idiot, shes not useless. Shes fucking family!" Kai spoke, standing from his spot, "Everything she has ever done has been to make father happy, to make you happy. And for what?! To be forced to live a lie her whole life? She didnt kill our NEPHEW. She didnt go to that appointment knowing that Vince fucking Bell would bring his gang ties with him. You dont get to sit here and lecture us when you arent even fucking around to see anything happening anyway!" He rolled his eyes, catching the way he spoke the word straight, "Yes because a year with only men around is really gonna make me only want woman. Smart plan on that one homie,"

Vanessa: "I didn't kill my son!" Vanessa finally spoke up, the pain clear in her voice. "You think I purposely got my son killed! I wish it was fucking me! I wish every fucking day that I was the one who died and I know you all wish it too! You wished it when Mama died and now you're all wishing it with Rocky gone," she continued, tears rolling down her cheeks. All she wanted right now was to drown herself in vodka but she couldn't right now with Nate of all people here and Kai catching onto her habits. Vanessa fell into herself, slowly breaking down for the first time in a long time. It was like everything came flashing before her. She knew her family hated her, knew her family didn't nor ever loved her, and it was all just resurfacing. She looked up for a second, puffy eyes immediately going to Kai and mouthing "stop". If Nate was already dropping the F word to Kai, it would only escalate from there.

Nate: "It should have been you," he spoke sternly, not bothering to even look at Vanessa. His full attention on Kai. He shoved Kai in his chest forcefully putting him back in his chair. "Don't get loud with me, Malachai. You think because it's just you here now you're the man of the house? He died because your sister didn't know who the fucking father of Rocky was. If she hadn't been whoring around there wouldn't have been an appointment. You let her go to that appointment alone. You're just as much to blame as those fucking Bells. This is your last straw, Malachai, last fucking chance. You want to learn what it's really like to be alone? You wanna get sent away too? Don't push me."

kai: "Like it shouldve been me when mom died? Bet you loved telling an 11 year old that everyday for months," He spoke bitterly, a groan falling from his lips as he was shoved back into the chair. His head snapping up to meet his gaze. His words sinking in and knowing there was plenty of truth to them. "I shouldve gone youre right," He spoke, "But you know who else couldve? You. You know who couldve stopped Vince being involved from the gun? You." Shaking his head, "Im already alone Nathaniel. This place is simply room and board at this rate. We arent a family, weve never been a family. father and yourself have made damn sure of that,"

Vanessa: heard the garage door opening and looked to her brother with desperate eyes. Thankfully, Nate walked out to the front to meet up with their father who no doubtly wouldn't even bother even saying hello to any of them now that his precious son was here. Vanessa waited a moment til their brother was far enough, "You're not... you're not a you know what," Vanessa whispered, not even daring to call him the F word. She hated the way Nate spoke and treated Kai. Kai always got the worst of Nate's anger especially since the youngest came out; usually Vanessa was there to defend him but in this moment she was being beaten down so bad she couldn't think straight. "I'm glad it wasn't you," she added.

kai: 's eyes shifted to their sister, his eyes soft at the look on her face. he could see how affected she was by nates words, the fire in kai only growing. shaking his head as she spoke, "he cant say anything I didnt say to myself for years. I know the stigma around bi men, as shitty as it fucking is," He shrugged, "Everything he said about you isnt true V. You arent useless or an idiot, youre an amazing human. Im glad youre my sister," He spoke, a smile gracing his lips as she spoke, "Im sorry you lost your son V, neither one of you shouldve been lost that day," He spoke softly, himself and V being the closest to Rocky, it hit home hearing Nate talk about him. As if he had a relationship with him.

Vanessa: "But you're not, I'm not going to let them send you away. I'll take whatever daddy has to throw. I won't let you be alone," Vanessa spoke. She got up from her seat, moving to sit in the one next to Kai. "I love you, little brother," Vanessa spoke, putting her head on his shoulder. The conversation was all too much, but everything Nate was saying was true. She believed every last word. She was useless. She was a slut. She was all of it and worsy. "It should have been me," she mumbled.

kai: "I like what I like, no one can get mad at me over that. Not logically, i aint doing harm," He shrugged, " We're never alone. As long as we got eachother we'll be ok," He spoke, resting his head on top of hers for a moment. "I love you too big sister," He knew her gears were turning, knew every word nate spoke was on repeat in both their brains. "It should've been me too," He spoke softly

Vanessa: "No harm, though, you could have better taste in men," Vanessa teased. "You think things would be different if Mama was still here? Or that she'd turn on us too?" she asked weakly. She knew her mother loved them, know deep down in her heart that Malachai and Vanessa whom she always joked were her precious little twins considering how similar they looked (way before the blonde locks and the shaved pink hair), but she also knew that her family wasn't perfect. That her father's heart was cold long before their mother's death. Would he have turned their mother cold too. "At least if it was both of us, we'd be with Mama..."

kaii: "as though you got any room to talk on that front," he teased, rolling his eyes jokingly. His smile falling as he thought of his mothers, the words of his brother ringing between his ears. "I think Mama wouldve looked out for us," He spoke softly. His connection with his mom strong from the jump, he was a premie baby. So he needed the extra love at the beginning, and not much has changed in his relationships since. But himself and the two females of the house were practically attached at the hip, having inside jokes and comments, little memories that no one else could recall. Their mom being the reason people never knew if the two siblings were twins or not. Their family was a mess, no doubt about it. Anyone looking in could see that they werent a family, but merely people coexisting in a home that became a house the day their mother lost her life. And thats what finally caused Kais tough exterior to break. All the memories and thoughts of his mom came rushing back, the ones he had pushed aside since that day in the car. Tears flowing but his face never changing from its stoic expression, a part of him scared that his father or brother would walk through the door. Calling him a fairy and other terms because he was showing emotion. "I miss her so fucking much.."

Vanessa: "the men i date are the best of their groups thank you very much," vanessa replied, sticking her tongue out. she took a deep breath, noticing how silent her brother had become. she shouldn't have brought up their mother. it was a sensitive topic for vanessa, but she wasn't there when their mother died. she wasn't the one who had to watch them pull her lifeless body out the car. vanessa turned to kai, right away seeing his tear stained face. she quickly used her shirt sleeve to wipe away his tears, ears listening closely for footsteps. the last thing they needed was either of the elder montgomery men coming in and seeing kai in tears. it was already world war 2 in their house, things didn't need to be worst. "I miss her too, but I need you to be strong for me right now? Okay, KK? I wouldn't ask this if I didn't think you could do it. Daddy can't see you like this. Just go to my room and lock yourself in there for the night, they won't bother you if they think it's me in there. I'll stay out here and deal with Daddy."

kaii: He allowed her to wipe his tears, tilting his head back as he caught his breath. He knew better than to be showing emotion, given that the two people he feared the most were beyond the door. But everything had become to much for him, every decision made in his life flashing through his mind. A gut feeling telling him she wouldnt be proud of him, and that hurt more than anything could say to him. He nodded to her words, "I know I know," He spoke quickly, rubbing his eyes slightly, "After all this I will. Im not leaving you with them alone,"

Vanessa: "Go." Vanessa said more forcefully. She wasn't going to take no for an answer. Vanessa knew all too well how their father was towards Kai. She never protected him from it, just hid in her room and pretended to be interested in whatever Nate was talking about in order to have someone to keep her from fully freaking out. "Whatever they do to me isn't going to hurt me as what they do to you. Go."

kaii: "No," He spoke with a headshake, "we're in this together V, from now on. You and me," He spoke with as much force as her, "We cant protect one another if one of us is just running off," He spoke, not meaning the double meaning behind his words, and not realizing till they were already out of his mouth, "We need to be united, it has to work,"

Vanessa: "United."

#para

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cloudbattrolls · 6 years ago

Text

Coward Mont Blanc

Maidel Juzuxt | Present Night | Derevnya | Octavian Musical Arts Studios

Everyone calls it OMAS, or Oh, Masterfully Aimed, Shithead if they’re not fond of Treble. Even if they’re on the list of people who won’t kick him out of a room after ten minutes, they might still toss it off, teasing, but with an edge of bile.

It’s one of the reasons you get along with him, despite how different the two of you are.

“So!” He says, plucking at his suspenders. “What’s got you in such a sulk, Maidel-girl? Or is it boy today.”

You’re in one of the studio’s dance rooms, one that’s empty at the moment since the next class won’t be for hours. Mirrors cover its walls, and overhead glowworm lamps dot the ceiling, giving off light even as they’re in stasis. Treble can feed, wake, and rearrange them at his will if needed for a choreography practice, as well as brighten them with the right formula.

Right now they’re giving off a low yellowish glow as they sleep, clinging to the gray ceiling. It bathes your face in a sickly cast, or maybe that’s just your mood as you stare into one of the mirrors, clad in a suit that you look absolutely horrible in.

“Boy.” You say, but there’s not much spirit in it. Gender isn’t very important right now; it’s part of your bigger problem, but only in a small way.

Sometimes you think it’d be easier if you just had no chest to worry about, and certainly sometimes you hate having to leave off your binder or worry about damage, the kind your psi can’t really repair fully.

Other times you think rumblespheres at least give people something other to look at than your face or stomach. Not that they’re impressive, but at least it’s something.

“What’s got you so down in the dumps, Maidel-boy? You nervous? Don’t be nervous, my cool cat! This joint will love you.”

That gets a small snort out of you, mostly because of Treble’s ridiculous speaking manner. It’s been perigees and you still don’t believe he can naturally talk that way, no matter how much he swears up and down he was hatched with it.

You turn a little, looking at yourself from another angle in the mirror, your hair pulled back into a ponytail so everyone can see your face. Great. You put a finger to one cheek, but lightly, to not ruin the makeup covering your freckles.

Treble leans in slightly, his eyebrows raised and ears flicking slightly. His aren’t nearly as mobile as yours, but you know what he’s thinking.

“I look better this way.” You say. “A little. Don’t try to tell me freckles are cute again, I��m not buying it.”

Not much you can do about your face in general. Your hair is okay. then there’s your body.

You’ve always been on the heavier side, and maybe that wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t look so stupid on you.

Highbloods being big fits them like a shell on a scuttlebeast. They have the tusks, the intimidation, the big sharp horns to go with it. Their fat doesn’t look like weakness; it only makes them look stronger, heartier, able to dominate.

You’ve been mistaken for blue twice, when you were wearing heavy clothing and goggles against the steam and snow. You were alarmed, then flattered, then a little depressed.

Treble just clicks his tongue and shakes his head like you’re a silly, mildly disobedient lusus. “Maidel, Maidel, Maidel. Even if you don’t like them, doesn’t mean not a single troll in that joint won’t! You got to be honest about who you are! That’s the only way to make your brand.”

It takes a force of effort to not remind Treble that just because he keeps showing off who he is to the whole world, (despite getting laughed at and kicked out of multiple places) it doesn’t mean you want to go through the same.

That’d be cruel; Treble’s odd, but he’s been kind to you, and it’s hard to hate a troll who isn’t any more good looking than you but so much braver.

Even if sometimes you wish you could.

“I don’t need a brand.” You mutter. “I just want to sing.”

When you’re finally on the stage, finally manage to forget where you and who you are and what you look like, that makes it all worth it. When you sing, you’re somewhere else, someone else. People have actually clapped for you before, and it wasn’t all just polite applause.

Treble loves to babble about how you could be the next big thing. All you want is to keep feeling that way for the rest of your life, even for little bits at a time. It’s enough.

He pauses, perhaps aware of the usual argument and realizing you don’t want to hear it. He almost chews on his claws, raising two to his mouth but he’s been trying to stop lately and drops them.

“Maidel.” He says, gentle, which makes the hairs on the back of your neck prick up. “Singing aside, you really want to have this sort of bad juju brewing in you the rest of your natural life, my man?”

“It doesn’t matter.” You say, trying to be dismissive, but dismissive from you sounds about as believable as a honk from a limeblood and Treble’s face is understandably if irritatingly skeptical.

“‘Course it matters! You telling me you’re okay just going ‘aw, nuts, I hate how I look’ for all your sweeps? You gotta change yourself, or - ”

“ - change your bulbs, yes.” You sound a bit more testy than you’d like, but he’s told you this about ten times before.

“I tried to diet and exercise for a whole perigee, Treble. Aside from making me miserable, it barely did anything. I lost three pounds. Three pounds in that whole time! I don’t know what’s wrong with my stupid, garbage, messed up - ”

“Whoa! You really want to hate yourself that bad, man?”

You realize you’re breathing hard, eyes wide and - in the mirror - you see a hint of orange in them.

Groaning, you cover your face with a soft palm, dragging your fingers through your curls.

“Olives are supposed to be lithe and muscular. Or else average looking, since everybody likes to say we’re the most boring caste.” You say, bitter. “Even being average like you would be better. Nobody thinks you’re ugly. They just think you’re normal.”

Maybe that’s rude, but you don’t care right now.

Treble plucks at his tie thoughtfully, but you can see a trace of pain in his eyes that wrenches your digestion sac. You’ll apologize to him later.

“Do people really tell you you’re ugly, Maidel-boy?” He says, curious.

You snort. In a way, that’d almost be better.

“Hardly ever.” You admit, and he opens his mouth but you wave a finger and press on. “They don’t have to! They don’t even notice me, good or bad, compared to everyone else I know. They’re all pretty. None of them would ever consider a troll like me to be an option in any quadrant.”

You sound pathetic, even to yourself. It’s not like you expect the trolls you know to date you, or that you’d particularly want to date them in the first place.

It’s how you’ve seen Riccin flirt, seen Pheres flirt, seen them have quadrants. Have people interested in them. Seen them know they’re beautiful, that they can get trolls just by being themselves.

Must be nice.

“So...what brought all this up from its deep dark spot, huh?”

You look at him blankly.

“Usually you’re a little down in the dumps, but not fit to yowl about it.”

You flush slightly. You guess you did raise your voice more than you meant to.

“I’m sorry.” You say, throat tight. You shouldn’t even be talking to Treble about this. He has a moirail, a teal who works at one of the universities. You have no idea why he takes so much time with you to start with.

Especially if this is how you treat him.

You’d rather dive out the window than answer, but you owe him that much.

“I have an ash crush.” You admit, and it feels like a dirty word, a curse. Maybe it is. You have to be cursed if you’re stupid enough to have feelings for Riccin, who’s practically a clown, and who’s never cared about you.

Maybe it’s some messed up form of self-harm.

Treble looks puzzled, and for good reason.

“So why’re you all torn up about how you look?”

Ash isn’t about that, is the clear implication. You almost laugh. If only he knew.

“Riccin wants pretty trolls in every quadrant.” You say, staring into the mirror at the disappointing image with a suit on a too-round figure. “Their kismesis and their ex ash are both little, skinny trolls, with pretty faces. And they’re close with Pheres, and he’s the same.”

Then there’s you, who’s as heavy as any two of them, not to mention that they think you’re dull as ditchwater. Even if you wanted to pursue this - if you were so blindingly stupid - how could you prove them wrong? You’d wear yourself out trying.

Not to mention that Vide would probably cull you. She seems like she’s still interested in them, and for all you know they might still be interested in her too. Riccin doesn’t give up easily.

“I think you’re feeling a bit too sorry for yourself, Maidel-boy.”

You glare at him, then sigh. He chuckles.

“So you got a hopeless crush. Happens to us all. Why let it mess your groove up so much, man? If there’s no worth wondering if you can, put your bulbs into what you are good at! Which is: belting out the tunes and making us both a little cash, hm?”

You snort. With Treble it all comes back to money or fame. Given how hard he works for it, you can’t blame him too much. The chances of an olive making it big - or even being an agent for anyone who does - are minimal. Somehow he still tries, still teaches and manages and performs, no matter who mocks him, no matter how many times he gets chased off.

“Okay.” You say. “Let’s go.”

#I was never huge into vocaloids but this song is good for Maidel #cloud writes #Maidel Juzuxt #Treble Octave #warnings for:#negative body image #mild dysphoria #and Maidel being a bit of a baby

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sadiiomane10 · 8 years ago

Text

headcannons that i wrote with sej but never posted :( but anyway here ya go (1)

when hendo scores that screamer, marko cant believe what he’s seeing,

“WAS THAT GOAL REAL LORIS WAS IT REAL” “YES MARKO IT WAS REAL

okay loris being like hendo’s gonna score and when he does loris like OH YESSSS I WAS RIGHT and Marko is like….holy shit you genius….

so now marko is totally in awe of loris and they start taking about random shit with interruptions of OO HES GONNA SCORE not, and crying on each other when we conceded,

marko and loris are #total bros, they are like the same type of person its weird

i can imagine loris being so outraged when we conceded NO NO WHY HIM NOT HIM THIS IS ANNOYING

, AND MARKO IS ALL NOOOO, and getting a little scared at loris’ non chill but hes kinda the same, and there both swearing or something and klopp looks back and grins cus these are his sons, and they totally learnt from him,

zeljko smacks him on the arm and tells he shouldnt be proud that his footballers are swearing

okay but klopp jumpping to his feet and opens his mouth to scream and then he just hears this massive FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! and turns around to see loris and marko on their feet and klopp is like….well ok…did my job for me then

and they see klopp looking at them and they get all shy and embarrassed and sit down and klopp laughs but there back on their feet the next minute,

LORIS AND MARKO TOTALLY GO ON ROAD TRIPS AROUND ENGLAND TOGETHER, marko has totally found the buddy who’s willing to travel england with him

BECAUSE MARKO HAS THE NICEST CARS IN THE WORLD AND LO CHERISHES THEM SO MARKO MAKES HIM HIS ROAD TRIP BUDDY

and its totally like ok like the most lit thing ever and they take so many pics and they have the same taste in music and they take turns driving and stuff,

they totally #bond on there road trips and marko snapchats the whole thing and loris sends emre and sham cool pics, and they come to training with so many stories

and dejan and emre are ultimate bantz bros and dejan is like why didnt u congratulate me on my goal emre

and emre being all like pssshhh anyone coulda scored that. hendo had the beauty and dejan scoffing and smiling bye

dejan totally ruffles emre’s hair and everyone else is like how hasnt dejan lost a hand yet.

cus dont touch the hair dude

klopp worked out that the third kit is a curse and he got sick of loris and emre whining about the disgusting colour, which klopp doesnt get why lo does it cus the dude has to where it all the time,

but he still moans, and well klopp cant be bothered liistening to it, and he put them away in storage, anything for his fave german sons

Pleeeease klopp the toxic green is horrible to wear 😩😩😩 klopp: loris your kit is grey??? Loris: yeah but emre won’t shut up so I’m suffering too

klopp shakes his head cus he dealt with mario and marco at bvb but these two are wORSE

And hes like FINE, and tells the kitmen to hide them or something cus he aint putting up with this,and emre is so pleased now he doesnt have to wear it but he teases the fuck outta loris and lo is like im telling klopp to bring them backkkk just for you,

and emre is proper fiesty on the pitch and loris is like

“really emre picking another fight really”“do I have to fucking babysit u or what. whats ur problem emre”. “he fuckin tried to touch my hair”. “the bitch ill fight him for u”

GIVE ME MY PHONE LORIS, Wait up em , emre tries to grab it, LAST ONE EMRE COME ON

que the slap round the head from emre

and lo does it AGAIN but emre doesnt know and for ages emre isnt getting messages everyone thinks he’s giving them the cold shoulder and he’s like??? wtf???? then sees all the pictures which are like different angles of lo’s hair

cue emre storming into the dressing room everyone like oh shit its going down and emre just glares at lo and is like “YOU!!!!”

and everyone is like trying not to laugh cus oooo serious shit, and then loris just fucking bursts out laughing and every1 is like ……what and they start giggling too and emre is like USE UR OWN PHONE LORIS , and hes like but ur camera is better, WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME PHONE, …….idk man i like ur camera better,

but really he only does it to make emres life hell

snapchat videos of the game from his angle asdfgh"emre takin out a guy no. 2958"“hey emre say hi!!!” “what are you DOING?…..hey guys [smolder]

LORIS PUT THAT PHONE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

emre totes said that him

“WHAT YA GONNA DO? FOUL ME? oh no shit wait i take that back”

loris following emre thru anfield with his camera like “hey guys emre looks good, zooms in super close to his hair, look at that perfection”, emre being affectionatly annoyed

emre chasing him, loris being like EMRE NO IM SORRY COME ON, emre getting lo in a headlock and screwing up loris hair

a lot of people have been asking whats in your bagpack” “no they havent” “ok no they havent but im asking” loris rooting thru like heres emres gel, ‘its wax’ whatever same thing emre, and heres his wallet, ‘leave that aloneee loris’ and heres…… 'LORIS LEAAVE MY THINGS ALONEEE’, loris running off with the bag down the hallway, and the sc vid just full of frantic running and giggling and shouts of LORIS YOU FUCKING SHIT GET BACK HERE,

LORISSSSSSSSS

AND LORIS TRIPS OR SOMETHING AND THE STUFF GOES EVERYWHERE AND EMRE IS LIKE LOOK WHATS YOU’VE DONE but lo is too high on life and the video ends with p much just having a laughing fitl

and he looks at camera just in tears and like this grumps is angry with me but I DONT CARE and emre trying to grab his things and some of the other lads coming round the corner like whats going and seeing lo pissing himself laughing on the fall makes them laugh and soon there all laughing and emre wacks lo on the arm and laughs to

and before you know everyone is liking posting videos and pictures of what just happened and the rest of the world is just like???? eh????and they have really cryptic captions like “WAX [crying laughing

and like some time later they peel themselves off the floor still giggling some and emre is like u alright and lo is like yh and its like nice and not bantery and its all good and so much love

and yesss everyone is hella confused on social media but this team just full on loves on each so much and its amazing

everyone loves lo, i cry, 3 months at the club and everyone is already in love with him every1 fave goalie, i bet they randomly turn up at his house and just crash and chill out, cus well he lets them all in and hes super chill and everything

he got his hair cut everyone was fighting to touch it

poor dude has noo food left in his fridge, but hendo goes shopping and brings him things when he comes over cus hes a good captain and he takes care of our baby goalie and loris was swooning in the love and they literally made a line the fricking idiots

and just like at really quiet moments when someone’s stood next to him they’ll just reach up and stroke his hair and he’s just like….what you dooooin…

bet u a million dollors adz did that him, i bet u anything that really happened one time, and lo gave him a look like wtf and adz is like ur hair is so nice and soft and lo is ???……..ok then and adz is like u have the best hair on the team

and hendo screams over ACTUALLY EMRE HAS THE BEST HAIR ON THE TEAM, que arguments between #married couple no.1 and #married couple no.2

emre being all smug like hah i have the best hair and loris being like nah bitch i do and hendo being lke emre has the best hair and adz being like have u felt lo’s hair its amazing and klopp being like im going back to bvb, where things were normal and my players didnt fight over other peopls hair

god can you imagine like everybody filing in on these four full blown fighting and Milly and studge are like BREAK IT UP cos it sounds so serious and then they hear hendo scream ADMIT EMRE HAS SILKY SMOOTH HAIR!!!!

klopp walks away ashamed with his head in his hands, zelkjo is considering leaving, ads is close to tears, studge is in hysterics, lo pissing himself laughing, emre being like hah bitch i win, and loris walking away like whatev’s dude im still better than u and emre following him cus they need to continue arguing, its their thing,

hendo being like alright ok dont cry ads and then he cuddles him,

mils being exasperated and considering a move away from all this hectic mess ,

they all go back to training but klopp is missing and everyone is like ……..what happened to him and zeljko being like hes prolly packing his bags cus u lot are idiots,

que scared looks and extra hard commitment to training,

cus kloppo is more important than hair and loris being like see emre u scared off our mananger, and em being like MEEEE u started it , their bickering never stops ,

and hendo goes to find kloppo like a good captain and he’s just in his office ruining a stress balll

really hendo are we fighting about hair in training, hendo blushes and is like …….sorry…..but emre /does/ have the best hair.

klopp shaking his head like i expect this from the baby germans but u and adam, come on hendo,

but kloppo he does, yh he does but we dont fight about it in training and dont make adz cry, hes my fave son leave him alone,

hendo- so ur not running away, klopp shakes his head and laughs cus zeljko honestly, but hendo feels proud cus klopp agrees that emre has the best hair and thats all he wants,

adz can stick it, but hes not gonna make him cry again, klopp might kill him

#been in my drafts for centuries #umm yh #lfcheadcannons #hc #lfc #these are super long but oh well

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bloginstantmooncollector-blog · 7 years ago

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Can I get around paying really high price for Car Insurance being only 19yrs old>?

"Can I get around paying really high price for Car Insurance being only 19yrs old>?

I am 19, dont want to pay high price for car insurance. My friend said I can do this: find a cheap insurance company for my dad/mum to get insured on the the nice car (e.g. BMW) just them, not have me on it aswell, then find the cheapest car to insure with co-op, with me under my mum or dad, altogether it shouldnt be more than 2k and you I can drive the beemer, as long as the beemer is registered in my dad/mums name. Can somebody tell me if this would actually work or not? Please no philosophical answers or opinions on right or wrong or against the law - I dont give a F**k. Just want to know whether this would work or if anybody else has any ideas 10 September at 23:00

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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In a particular country, price comparison websites have just arrived to compare insurance products. Companies are not obliged to have their prices quoted on a price comparison website but if they do a commission is paid on any sales through the website. For motor insurance there are a number of companies supplying insurance. Of these insurance companies, company A has chosen not to be on comparison websites but company B has decided to be on the websites. Explain possible reasons for these companies decisions.""

Where can I find car insurance prices?

I'm doing this project in my class and we chose the procedures if someone was texting and driving and crashes another person. I got car insurance and I need to find out how much it cost for car insurance and all the procedures it will take and how much it will cover for the accident and by how much the insurance is going to raise. I tried looking on google but it keeps saying sending me to cheap insurance. Does anyone know of a good website that can help me. Thanks a lot

For my car insurance I have full coverage. Have a $500 deductible to fix a broken window. Is that normal?

A rock hit my window while I was driving and i have a $500 deductible to fix it. I wanted to see was that really high or normal? I have full coverage. I just want to see how this insurance compares to others. $500 deductible just seemed a bit high. Thanks!

Is my car insurance still valid?

My partner has been banned from driving, he is the first named driver on my car insurance and I am the second driver. Am I still insured to drive my car?""

What do I have to do after buying a car? reg insurance etc?

this might sound stupid but my dad did everything for me when i brought my first car so i have no idea. I know ill have to change the names over to mine, get reg, insurance, pay stamp duty........ anything else ?""

What is the cHEAPEST car insurance???......?

4 a 17 year old

Best maternity insurance?

I was wondering what the best health insurance out there for maternity and child birth is? Right now I have pretty basic health insurance, as I am very healthy and don't need to go to the doctor often, but once I get pregnant (we're going to try in the next year or so) I plan on switching my insurance so that I'm paying the minimum out of pocket for all (or most of) those doctor's visits and labs, etc. What is the best provider/what type of coverage should I be looking for? How much did it cost YOU to have a baby (the actual medical bills) and how much should I expect to pay each month for my premium?""

How much more is sr22?

great now i have to have sr22 for driving someone else's car that had no insurance. how ever i do have insurance and judge says i must pay sr22. i am just wondering how much i have to pay extra? i am with gieco. i am thinking an extra 50 bucks.

How to find cheap insurance for my 318i bmw 1999?

My medical insurance company ask for homeowner insurance policy?

I fell on my deck, and went through surgery, the total medical expense is about 25K. Now my medical insurance company is asking for homeowner insurance policy. I am not sure how to handle it to avoid any potential cost to me such as deductible or premium increase. Is the medical insurance policy the primary or the homeowner insurance policy for this case? Thanks

Can I still be insured with my mother?

So, my crappy old car just broke down. In the last few months I have managed to save up some money and I have decided to purchase a used car. The car cost about 6000 dollars and I have gotten a 3000 dollar loan in my name to pay the rest of the cost. So I'm trying to get all the paper work done because everything is in my name. My mom already purchased a car so she couldn't' even help my out to get a loan. Before I could even get the car, the bank needs a binding from an insurance company. When I had my old car my mom had me under her insurance because the car was under her name. So I want to know if after I get my insurance on my new car if I will be able to switch it over with my mom. Or will I be able to transfer the old car insurance into the new one. Right now I am planning to get the same insurance she has. Will I always have to have the insurance under my name is it is my car? This is in Massachusetts""

What is the best Life Insurance company?

I'd like to get my mom some life insurance as she just turned 61. I'd like to know the cheapest/legit place to get life insurance for her. Any suggestions?

Whats the average cost of health insurance(+dental)?

I'm 19, female, never had any health problems, and married(dunno if any of that matters haa.) I'll be getting my own plan for the first time, I'm just wondering whats the average cost, what are some good providers to use that aren't too expensive, and does health insurance come with dental or is that a separate thing? Thanks!""

What cars typically have the lowest insurance rates?

I am looking into getting a new car, but am on a limited budget. I only work part time since I am still in school, so low insurance rates are as important as a good deal on the car.""

My car insurance and my driver license will be suspended?

Here is my story . Don't be harsh to me because I know my driving is bad I have been driving with this car for 7 months. I paid premium coverage. I did hit a divider myself and then I claimed my insurance in order to get my car repaired ( this time cost like $3000) After that 3 months, I hit a car in a parking lot. Another driver claimed my insurance and the insurance company paid them $600 to fix their car. After that 2 months, I again hit another car in the parking lot. I renewed my insurance in Jan. Before I paid $800 for 6 months, this time I paid $1900 for 1 year policy. Yesterday , I really hit another car on the road. I claimed my insurance again because the other driver's car really bad and I don't think I can pay off. My questions are : Should I pay deductible in order to get my car repaired because my car bad too and the body shop said It would cost 1k to 1.5k( because of the old damage) Will my license get suspended? Im living in CA and never get any tickets and this accident is the only one has police report? How will my insurance increase? Right now Im so stressed and confused about what Im going to ? Please help.""

How do i know what my car insurance covers?

I recently got into a car accident, just yesterday. There was 3passeners in the car. I, one of the 3. My sister who is 21 was driving the '99 Ford focus. It was not her fault. we were at a four way intersection and had a green light to go. Everyone was stopped besides our light going south &the other going north. An elderly woman on the right hand side who was going to turn, crashed into my side. (The passenger front, as well as the back door.) It is all crashed inward. We then hit a palm tree on the side of the road and landed on top of it. Some yellow/green fluid leaked out. Us 3 passengers in the Ford taurus all went to get checked at the hospital. We are all fine. But now we have no idea what to do with this wrecked car, that has now been towed. The Ford Taurus we were in, only has liability insurance. how will the car be fixed or can it even get fixed? This car accident all took place in Avon park, FL. The car we were in has Insurance from Michigan. Since that is where my father and his girlfriend purchased the car last year. The insurance &everything is under his girlfriends name. So Shes the one who said it only has liability insurance.""

Should I get a full coverage insurance on a rental car?

I have to rent a car for 2 weeks for business. Supposely, the cost should be reimbursed to me by a company after the assingment is done. Not sure if I can truly trust that. But anyway, if I don't get the insurance, it will be $500. But if I get insurance, it is $1200. I am a safe driver and I will be in a rural place. I am trying to convince myself that I don't need it. But then again, I worry about what might happen if accidents occur. The cost of rental car will be reimbursed by a company. But I am not sure if they are actully going to do that in timely manner and my credit card balance is high. I don't want to put extra money charged into my account. My credit card company and auto insurance company (on my own car) told me that they do not have insurance coverage on rental cars. What do you think? Thanks""

Can I get around paying really high price for Car Insurance being only 19yrs old>?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-does-10-20-10-mean-auto-ins-rebecca-horn"

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skiasurveys · 8 years ago

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sorry for all these relationship surveys, everything else sucks.

A: Who do you like and why? Connor, my boyfriend. I honestly don’t really know, the moment we met I fell instantly, like we have this strong connection. He makes me laugh really hard, which is nice. He tells me what to do ( Not in a controlling way though). We like the same shit, we know how to leave eachother alone for a bit for our “me” time so its awesome. and hes great at sex.

B: Have you ever been in love? If yes, how many times, and how do you know it was love? I am currently in love and this is my first time, before I swore i was in love but it was just literally the “I love you” not the whole Im in love and I just want you to be happy.

C: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in, and why did it end? currently the one im in is the longest :D

D: Have you ever changed for someone, if yes, how? yeah i have, 2 times. Back in high school i tried to act diferent around him because he didn’t approve how I was. which is bullshit. and then the other time was my senior year in Highschool and I tried to get his approval so i would hide who i truly was, which is stupid. I stopped doing that. If I change for someone now, its for the better.

E: Pretend I’m you ex, what do you want to say to me? You were fucking annoying. You didn’t get a joke, you literally wasted my fucking time when I couldve been with Him. You also chased me hardcore, pretty much felt like I had to date you. You pretty much blamed me for anything that went wrong. You were always about you, and you were annoying. Thank you for ending it.

F: Have you ever been cheated on? i dont know. My one ex, Jack was long distance and I have this strong feeling that he did cheat on me , or that he was cheating on someone with me and I didn’t know. He did some fishy things, so yeah.

G: Have you ever cheated? No.

H: Would you date someone who’s know for cheating, if yes why? no, if i found out the person I like is a cheater or known for it, i wouldnt go for them.

I: What’s the most important part of a relationship? The trust, the friendship/bond, and the comfort. You need to trust them, and feel comfortable and also feel like youre best friends.

J: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious.

K: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? no. Breaks to me are just a waste of time. Its basically letting you both fuck other people and then come back and be like “nah”. I don’t do breaks. Its either were done or not.

L: How many people have you ever hooked up with? i never hooked up. I only fuck who im dating. and ive only been with one guy, which is the one im currently with.

M: What’s one thing you regret saying or not saying, doing or not doing in a previous relationship? I regret dating Dylan. It sounds fake but honestly I wish I wouldve just said No im not that into you. Because really I wasn’t that into him but everyone told me how sweet he was, so i felt kinda like I had too?? In a way??

N: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? kids?? KIDS?? KIDS?? WHATS WRONG WITH THAT SENTENCE ? Kids shouldnt be having sex. You shouldnt have sex until you fully understand the consequences. That being mentally and physically.

O: Do you believe in the phrase, “Age is just a number?” Why or why not? well connor is 6 years older than me, Im kinda bias. But Im 20, and he’s 26. were both adults and consenting. If they are still a minor and the other partner isn’t, it’s wrong. as long as they are both adults and consenting.

P: What about “Love at first sight”? Why or why not? No one loves someone at first sight. You might feel lust, or a connection. but not love.

Q: Turn on’s? Neck kissing, pushing me down onto a bed, making out. also like sweet sensual stuff.

R: Turn off’s? Trump supporters, racists, expecting me to be your chef, or do everything for you, being a cunt, minimalizing my pain. lanky people. into hardcore drugs too.

S: What do you consider a deal breaker? Cheating. Talking shit about my friends, abusing me.

T: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? You get this feeling where you sit back and youre like “ I just dont like them anymore” or sometimes you do but you just know you can’t be together.

U: Are you currently in a relationship? If yes, for how long? If no, how long have you been single? I am, and its going to be 9 months in 2 weeks.

V: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? Yeah you can still be friends, of course it depends on how your relationship was and how it ended. There are exes I have that I could still be friends with and some I can’t. My recent ex and I are kinda friends but he pisses me the fuck off.

W: Do you think people should date their friends? you can, i don’t see how that is bad. My boyfriend is my best friend, so it’s like thats cool. we werent friends when we started dating though. It’s hard because it could ruin a friendship

X: How many relationships have you had? about 4

Y: Do you think love can last forever? yeah, of course.

Z: Do you believe love can conquer all things? somethings, not everything.

1: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? No. Unless my family was like “They are abusing you.” and there was legit shit, but not cus they didn’t like him. Lol

2: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? “dont date him because he likes you”

3: Do you think long distance relationships can work? Why or why not? so i did one when i was in high school for like 5 months. It can work. depending on where they are. Mine was awful. It was far away. and He was 7 hours ahead of my time, so everytime we would skype it would be at weird times like 8 am or 12 am like wtf and it was jsut dumb. But they can work out!

4: What do you notice first about another person? teeth and hair cuts lol

5: Do gay, lesbians, bisexuals or transgender people bother you? of course not.

#blah

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blue425 · 8 years ago

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What I would say

Im really angry at you and I know I'm the one that broke up with you. I can't stop thinking about you. I have dreams about you. And like I've moved on, I'm with another guy (which is a whole other problem in itself), but I hurt dude. You hurt me bad. I had serious feelings for you, and the thing was that I chose to let myself get there. I've only felt this was about someone three times in my life and all three times it went very poorly and I got hurt. Thats why I was so excited about you. I was excited because you were gonna work. You were gonna be the one that I cared about and it actually worked out in my favor for once. But you didn't. You didn't work out. You broke my heart and thats what hurts the most. The fact that i let myself get such high hopes this time and you let me down. You were such a disappointment. It makes my stomach turn. I feel awful. And I waited for so long because I wasn't ready to give up on you. I was going to fight tooth and nail for you. I wanted a relationship with you because you were the guy that I let myself want. I always wanted to know why you didn't want me back. The beginning was magical. You would talk to me, you would flirt with me, you made me feel on top of the world. We talked for weeks straight and I thought you were genuinely interested. You said you wanted a relationship and so I let myself want that too. Now being reasonable here, obviously, I have thought of every little thing I've done wrong here because that's all thats been on my mind. Why did I make him not want me. I came on too strong I expect too much too soon I was paranoid I was needy I was clingy I was obsessive I felt a way about you that you didnt feel about me. For you: I feel like you got into something to help you get over Aaron I feel like you genuinely liked me at first but since I was all out there you lost interest December 4th My giant emotional texts A few of my big questions are why did you make me wait for over a month to see you? Why did I practically have to beg for a date? Why did you change your account picture on tinder? Why do you keep viewing my snapchats? Its like a get stabbed every time I see that you watch them. And its not that I don't want you to. Obviously, I want you in my life. I honestly plan on talking to you again in the future, but seeing that you watch them just hurts so much. I dont even know why. Why wasn't I good enough? Why couldn't you just say You weren't into me anymore? Why, when I gave you so many outs to tell me the truth, could you not just say Im sorry but I dont want to be with you anymore when you saw me in anguish. You knew how I felt and how hard this was for me and you just let it happen. Was us talking since October (Technically july even) not long enough for you to feel anything? That is 4(5) months of my life. And I just let myself keep getting more and more into you. Also more and more hurt. Why were you trying to wait until I just stopped talking to you? Why were you just waiting for me to just move on without saying a word? Why, if there really was nothing there, would you let me think that there was something? I am so hurt. I am so hurt that I want to throw up. I want to hurt you back, but I can't. Im hurt that I want you back. Why would I be so willing to put myself through all of this just for a stupid shot in the dark. It will end the same. But I still want it. I want to know if you care how I feel right now. I want to know if you ever cared. I want to know if you stopped caring and why? How do you feel about us now? Do you hate me? Do you think Im annoying? And I know if I actually asked, Id never get a real answer. In the end, you didn't even try. You didn't even care about me trying to go with someone else. Thats not to say I did it to make you jealous, but you basically said "oh, ok bye" and then moved on with your life. I can't do that! Im stuck here in all this shit and I can't stand myself! and the fact that I was so willing and eager to make you love me and to make you happy SUCKS. It blows that I was so ready and that I thought I stood even a semblance of a chance. I should have known. I shouldnt have been so stupid and I should have ended it back when I wanted to because I never wanted to feel like this. I didnt want to be this heartbroken over someone who didnt really care. The fact that I still care, that im still thinking about you day in and day out after almost two horrible months of not seeing you, is disgusting. Tyler, it hurts me so much and there's nothing I can do but sit here and take it. I hate you. I hate that I'm not over you, I hate that I feel this way about you. I hate that Im still thinking about you. I hate that you never thought about me. I hate how much i tried. I hate myself. I hate that I looked like an insane jealous bitch. And see the thing is that Ill probably never get to tell you this. Ill never get closure so theres no point in me reliving this because Im sure you have moved on and you havent even thought of me once. If im being honest, i was so scared you moved on right after the 4th and just started fucking other guys. I wanted to ask but I thought I knew the answer. I know that I saw my fair share of other guys after that. I felt bad about each one, whether it was just talking or if it was fucking. I saw them because I knew that you had lost interest and I just felt so awful about myself. I wanted to get back at you too but I knew it didn't matter because you never saw me as more than those two dates. After that night (Dec 4th) I felt awful about myself. I felt like I was violated and that it ruined any chance I had with you. I told you I didn't want to do that. I feel like if I had made you wait, there still would have been something to chase and you still would have been into me like I thought you were before. I hated myself for letting that happen and I just felt gross, but right after that, I was ready to give it up just so you would stay with me. I feel like a whore. I would just willingly give you my body just to make you like me. I was ready to be your fuck toy, just so you would want to be around me. Thats unhealthy! Thats not who I am! The thing is that if you asked me right now, Id come right back and do it all again. Despite all this- despite everything! If you said you thought I had even the tiniest chance of winning you over, I would drop everything and come running. That makes me want to die dude. I thought I was better than that. The only reason I haven't said anything is because I know you were relived when I said its time to talk to other people. You were happy that you didn't have to be the one to say it. You have no idea how much strength it took. And every day since I've thought to message you. That maybe there is still a chance with him and it was all in my head. Fuck. How did you do this to me? How did you get me to the point of bending over backwards just to have the chance to hear from you? And you know what, somewhere in the back of my head I keep telling myself that if I play games, if I like try to make you want me or some shit that youll try and win me back and this time Ill do everything right. That is sick, but that doesnt stop it from being what I want. But I dont play games! Thats not how I wanted this to go! Even when we were talking and I wanted something, I would always, always try to be direct and up front about what I wanted from you because I expected the same. I didnt want to build a relationship on me trying to manipulate you into me getting what I wanted. I have tried that before and I didn't like that, but this, me trying to be honest, just came out as desperate. I wanted you so badly to want me enough to be my boyfriend, or to ask me on a date on your own, but fuck man you wouldn't even fucking text me first! I don't know why I tried so hard. I dont know why I wanted you so much when I knew that you wernt in this. I dont know why I fucked myself over. Even now, all i fucking want is for you to want me. Like I /needed/ this from you. I wanted to be a better person for you. I wanted to love you. I wanted to help you through whatever emotional baggage you had, like I was here for that. I wanted to be the one to make you happy and I didnt even get that chance. I still don't know what you wanted. I miss you so much. I miss what we could have had and I wish I was better at this. I wish I was good enough for you. This sucks and it sucks even more that you dont get to hear all this. A few weeks will go by and Ill still be with the guy im with now. But Ill also still be dreaming about you. I wake up sweating from my dreams because i needed you and now I cant even talk to you, but I would still give anything to hear from you again. Now, shit, I feel like Im leading my new guy on. I like him, I really do, but obviously I'm still hung up on you. I keep asking myself, is this what Tyler felt like with me? This boy is head over heels for me like I was you, and here I am, saying that I feel the same way, but Im thinking about you. I honestly do care about him. He is sweet and easy to talk to. Who knows. Maybe even one day I will love him, but I keep comparing him to you. He isnt Tyler. If I was doing this with Tyler I would be happy. I had my hopes set on Tyler. All I want is Tyler. How is it that I barely even know you and I'm this hung up on you? How shitty is that? I feel awful, but I also feel like Im in too deep and if I break his heart, I am in the same shoes as you. After going through this with him I empathize a little more with you. I think I know what it feels like to be in that situation and it must have been hard on you knowing how I felt. You must feel guilty. I know i do. I feel like an awful person for liking him but still thinking constantly about you. I jumped right back into something because I though I deserved that much. I am a decent guy and I deserve someone who is hot and who is going to be devoted to me. Someone who cares about me. Someone who is fucking willing to put in a little effort. I deserve at least that much. But now Im just going to end up being in the same place as you and hurting this boy just as bad if not worse than you hurt me. I shouldn't have jumped back into something so fast without thinking about the other person. That was selfish, but I really couldn't handle facing these feelings and understanding there was no resolve. The reason I am even writing this is because I woke up from a dream about you. I was so close to getting you back. I woke up like it was a nightmare and i was drenched in sweat. I knew I had to do something because I dont get closure. I want to be with you. Im settling for something else. Thats how this situation ends. Thats really shitty for everyone involved but thats all I got. This is all I have. I dont know how to deal with this. One day, maybe in a week or two, Ill send this to you. Maybe you'll hate it and think Jesus, can't this kid ever take a hint. Maybe you'll feel a little bad. Maybe this will hurt you. I know it hurt me. Maybe you'll think I'm just crazy, or maybe you'll think that I'm trying to get you back with me. I honestly doubt that if I sent this you'd read every word. Its a lot. But its everything Ive wanted to say to you. I guess its me pleading my case or telling my side of the story. I just need something. I need to stop feeling the way I do. This hurt so much and I just feel helpless. I hate you but I miss you all the time. Its like I'm losing my mind. If I do send this- if I don't, just know that this is everything. This what I've wanted to say. This is all of it. I regret most of it. I don't know that I regret you though. I still have that pencil you lent me and I'll probably keep it too. This isn't something I'd forget.

#personal

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