#only did ones that like. i've rly talked abt here lol

[kuiinncedes]

bro

[mcl38]

they haven't quite turned on vcarb the way they did mclaren but from what i've read that seems to be bc daniel keeps saying "it's not the same problem as mclaren" when like idk dude if the only time you've finished a race ahead of yuki was bc you got put on softs at the end of the race it is smelling very shades of mexico '22 to me. just without the having to make up a time penalty bc u punted yuki off the track.

i can say yuki is already getting the lando treatment though. "hOW MANY RACES HAS HE WON AND YOU DARE SAY HES PERFORMING BETTER THAN AN 8 TIME GP WINNER?" (ya i'll go to the top floor of my apartment and shout it into the void through a megaphone too what are you going to do about it) only this time there's a heavy dose of racism added in. the amount of people i have seen calling yuki a "pokémon" derogatorily and refusing to admit the racist connotations there are wild. not to mention the ableist terms i've seen be used to refer to his height. it's all very gross and yet again daniel says nothing to even try to prevent it. it's wild how someone always has to get harassed by his fans regardless of if he fails or succeeds.

ok so like first of all yikes. i rly rate yuki but im v selective w my online (especially my tumblr)

experience so i rly almost never venture out of my mclaren-centred bubble, which means i never rly see what ppl say abt him. 'pokemon' is actually vile like thats so clearly racist bc its not even a pun of his name at all or any sort of reference to his personality?? AND the fact that its a cartoon w the infantilising implications of that... ku's essay on the infantilisation of east asian drivers u will always be famous.... like u guys ever noticed how nyck is also rly short and has a youthful face and nobody ever talked abt him in the way they talk abt yuki? much to think abt

now. permission to be mean here but even if its 'not the same problem as mclaren' is the problem not STILL the fact that daniel in his 10+ year career hasnt bothered to understand the way the engineering of f1 cars works in like any material way and thats the reason he always struggles to identify his driving issues / has a disconnect with his chassis unless its tailored exactly to what he already likes and knows how to drive? i saw that bit from newey's book about how max and checo give rly good feedback and so did webber and vettel and it was kind of subtly implying that during the bit in between (the daniel era) he designed less effective cars be he wasnt getting enough precise feedback.... i genuinely havent been able to sleep at night since. like it felt like smth slotted in my head like aaaah this has been the problem all along. if only daniel wasnt so busy going on podcasts making fun of the idea of women in motorsport and actually spent some time to do some way overdue physics homework... lol. Imao even

the truth of the situation is yuki is in the best form of his career and also wiping the floor w daniel. like factually so. EVEN with team orders favouring daniel so his fans cant say its bc of that like they did with mclaren. i genuinely think its quite sad the amount of personal stock daniel fans have clearly invested in this mans career and how much it bothers them when he doesnt perform to their expectations - like he's ur driver, swallow it and accept it, because thats what he's been doing to try to move on. doing all this intense online hate bullshit only makes him look bad bc it highlights how badly and for how long he rly has been embarrassingly underperforming. but by this point it feels like they WANT him to underperform bc they crave that martyr underdog victimised figure to root for and fight for - which is why ur totally right anon, that someone always inevitably gets harrassed regardless of if daniel is failing or succeeding. 

i will say one thing which is that i rly dont think daniel is at all aware of whatever the fuck his fans do on twitter and instagram (and deffo not tumblr lmao). so i dont think this is an issue of like him telling his fans to chill out - and it doesnt work anyways, bc lando literally has made talking abt how much cyberbullying sucks a part of his personality and theres still some rly mean and hateful lando fans (not in a fun way like me<3 lol) (i hate on my own blog and in discord groupchats). so like thats not necessarily on him, its more on netflix for making him the lowest common denominator guy to like, ykwim? also the unfortunate reality is that despite the tshirts and the kneeling (or no kneeling) no one rly seems to stand up to defend the drivers of colour who literally constantly get SUCH vitriol thrown towards them w any occasion. im not expecting daniel of all ppl to say anything abt it ngl

[yuukei-yikes]

omg elaborate on your traumatic childhoods for hibihiyo + takane .... iirc takane is raised by her grandma right?

oh!! well it's nothing super awful compared to everyone else's

my hc for hibiya comes from the fact his parents lock him out of the house when he asked to go to the city😭😭😭 the only way they agreed was bc he said he'd study but even like that they didnt want it he had to lie abt a special course abt india and pretend he was obsessed with india. which is a very funny bit BUT yeah they lock him out of the house at night. with WOLVES.👎 awful move amamiyas.

my hc actually leans a bit more to what the anime shows since in the novels both his parents do that but in the anime it's the dad. so my hibiya hc is he comes from a Toxic Masculinity Household. he's from an old fashioned farmer family in a small village yknow (they have a dojo in the anime buuuut farmer hibiya is real 4ever👨‍🌾 idk why the anime did that. idk why the anime did many things)

anyways so his dad biggest piece of shit person alive. his mom. his mom is NICE hibiyas definitely close to her while he's afraid of his dad but i think she is maybe the kind of mom to break down all the time and be like oh poor me my life is misery and hibiya feels responsible for her. like she is not bad shes just been married to an awful awful guy for many years, she's a victim but also makes it very known she's a victim. hibiya definitely is the type of kid who feels like he has to shield his mom. hibiya's mom i love you. she is said to pour him tea in the hallway while he waited for hiyori to call him (before locking him out of the house but like i said im ignoring that it was just the dad 2 me💥👨‍🌾)

FOR HIYORI look ayaka literally ESCAPED from her parents. hiyori didnt KNOW she had a sister. and they're rich people. i think they're very old parents and hiyori is a last minute kid bc their first one was a Bust according to them so they'll have another Heir and this time do it RIGHT that means eyes on her all the time, giving her 0 autonomy but also absolutely everything material she asks for so we keep her under control. something like that. just very controlling parents but i also hc hiyori is so off the rails after the august in the city and they're pretty old already so they're like Ohhh god. and they're always fighting lol but before that hiyori was like Yes sir with them. think the northwests in gravity falls lol

and for takane I've obviously talked of her. but answering what u said, honestly we dont actually Know if she was raised by her grandma. and if she was, it's her grandparents! both!! her grandpa was around til his death, which is implied to be a little before or after takane starts highschool since he picked that school for her. her parents work overseas but her grandparents take charge to the point they're choosing what school she will go to etc, you know?? these arent headcanons btw that's all canon. we just dont know.... why. im so curious bc it's so oddly specific lmao like why werent the grandparents just. parents. but no. she's said to live with her grandma but used to also have a grandad and her parents work overseas. like. what. what was the need to come up with all this bro

anyways my headcanons. i do hc she was raised by her grandparents. since the parents work overseas im assuming they're very career oriented, and since the grandparents are both individually mentioned to be super worried about takane's illness, im assuming the grandparents were like can you STOP taking this sick kid from place to place and the parents were like fiiiine. here u can have her😐 and that's it lol i dont think they're rich parents or HORRIBLE PEOPLE i know it's popular to hc them as these Awful Horrible People i personally think they aren't Mean. they just are not AROUND. i dont think they'd be mean to her if they saw her i think they'd just sit there rly awkward like so... how is school going.... but they Won't because they Don't care👍

my extra hc is that the grandparents dont get along with the parents bc of this, or they're like wtf how did we raise someone who ABANDONED THEIR CHILD. so they raise takane with that in mind a lot and amd and and they're family.... and love each other... we do also gloss over takane losing her grandpa i know it's cuz its BARELY MENTIONED AND ITS AN ODDLY SPECIFIC DETAIL WE JUST. HAVE. but she was like 15 or 16 when he dies bro u_u fuck the tateyamas crying for ayaka can i see how my girl ene was doing losing unnamed grandfather

[banghwa]

Hi. Honest question because I'm struggling with it. And I know I'm not the only one because I've seen quite a few people speak up about it here. How do you manage to enjoy face and everything about it so freely without being bitter about how the previous releases were treated compared to it? Is it just your love for jimin? In which case idk why it doesn't work for me since I love jimin too. Or is it because you don't think those things are important? It's just so unfair, the way I see it. And sometimes I think maybe these things aren't that important but then I think that they might be important to the members because their art is their life and then I get sad. Idk if they themselves see what's going on, they can't be blind and not see it right?

I can't believe that it is as clear as day, the way the different albums were treated differently, and yet people pretend it's not the case (I'm not talking about you here! But you know, the fandom has always said everything was the members' choice and therefore everything is perfect which is. Not.) So how do you do it?

ooooooh please i am so bitter i just cant say anything abt it bcs im too exhausted to deal w ppl accusing me of being a solo over it :'))) im still like. rly upset over how the jitb roll out went and the thing is i know im not imagining it bcs even non-bts fans have been weirded out by the sheer irresponsibility behind it. which i think that might help ? in a weird way? the fact that it was so clearly mismanaged to the point that ppl outside of the fandom took note of it means that we are rightfully concerned about it. and every subsequent release just further proves it. so to me idk i just feel resigned. like yeah ofc we knew all along thats what this was. and i think those of us who have been into bts for a while were unfortunately not that shocked that every single subsequent release no matter how small got smt bigger than he did. like idk its a day in the life of a hoseok fan i think to me in a weird way made me relax a bit bcs like. i can no longer be disappointed lol. it also helps that i have a rly good and positive but appropriately critical circle of ppl i follow who are on one hand never shy to speak their honest thoughts while authentically enjoying other things. so its a space that makes it rly easy to feel like my bitterness and disappointment is justified all the while feeling like im still allowed to enjoy things at the end of the day im still incredibly sad that i will never have a jitb physical to play on my cd player or a photobook to look through but. idk theres nothing i can do abt it theres nothing that can be done abt it anymore. admittedly though it all makes it rly hard to buy other physicals :(( that still doesnt feel right :((

[arolesbianism]

Ok y'know what I'm going to be cringe and talk abt my nuggets more even tho I assume no one who follows me knows anything abt lob corp lol

Anyways first up look at my second ever nugget, Loki. He and Juliet are extremely close friends and were close since long before lob corp. The two went to college together and both took great interest in lob corp when it popped up, and he and Juliet are both deeply invested in their work there and fully believe in the cause. Loki primarily works with the information team, with him doing a lot of research work early on, and managing a lot of paperwork and general company information as he continued to work there. He and Juliet still interact fairly often as she is a head of the control team, and while they are very friendly with eachother they still very much use their time together seriously. Loki generally comes across as very grumpy and impatient, and he absolutely hates interacting with most of his coworkers. He values his time greatly, and sees most interactions outside of ones required for his work as a waste of time. He still values his time with Juliet greatly though, and while he will get very pissy when Juliet calls him her baby brother, he does indeed see her as a sister, and she might be the only thing he cares abt more than his work.

Next up is my 3rd nugget, London. He's a depressed middle aged woman man who forced himself to stop caring abt those around him after he was forced to give up his baby daughter in his youth. Nowadays he's mostly just trying to get by, and lob corp happened to pay well. He is generally not well liked by basically everyone, with lower ranking employees seeing him as cold and rude, and higher ranking ones seeing him as lazy and annoying. He is however really good at his job, which tends to catch most ppl off guard at first considering how little he seems to care abt everything. Underneath it all he's mostly just extremely depressed and going through the motions, he's just been balancing on thin margins for years now and has gotten the hang of surviving in a world that has been trying to tear him apart for years.

To continue going in chronological order despite my best instincts next we have my girl Yui. She's one of my less developed ones despite her being an oldie, but I still have some ideas for her. She's spent most of her time in the information team, and for most of time at lob corp she's actually had a much less hands on job and got very used to seeing the suffering around her as statistics and numbers. She eventually began to do more abnormality work and was moved to safety, but even as she came face to face with real death more she would still continue to fall back on seeing these events as numbers, and while she does do her best to try to help ppl where she can, she is generally rly distant and hard to connect to a lot of the time, especially as she tends to play devil's advocate for the higher ups, as trying to see the best in everyone won't come across well when those ppl are putting other ppl through hell every day.

Alright everyone we're back to the guy's I actually care abt cheer and clap for my girl Maxy right now. I've already talked abt her a lil bit, but she's another favorite child even though she's an absolute bastard in game who loves to suck at her job. Maxy is a generally very miserable person, with her feeling trapped in her circumstances and hating the feeling of being apathetic to the constant death surrounding her. When she first started working here however, she did have someone she somewhat cared abt. She had a mentor figure of sorts, a fairly anxious woman around her age, but still one that managed to bring some sense of comfort and guidance as she found her footing. Alas tho, this mentor of hers would end up dying on the job (I didn't feel like resetting the day so rip) and that was the beginning of Maxy's endless spiral. Pretty early on she was moved to safety, and she absolutely fucking hates it there, she hates how useless the department feels, and she hates that she feels more hatred at her stupid boss than she feels anything when her coworkers die. London actually used to work in security, and the two actually worked quite closely together for a long time. They had a very strained relationship however, as Maxy slowly began to start giving a shit abt London over time, a fact that she absolutely hated as she could tell London didn't give a shit abt her. Eventually London was transferred to records, and Maxy was left behind in safety to keep being sad all the time. She does have her terrible terrible girlfriend of course, and while Maxy doesn't feel she deserves Yuri's love, Yuri is also the main reason Maxy pushes forward despite everything, as just seeing Yuri smile makes it all feel worth it to her.

Ok ok last one for now because I need to sleep so say hi Daniel. He's another one that doesn't have a lot going on, he was simply a single dad who wanted a good job to support his adopted teenage daughter. He didn't exactly find that, but he does generally like his job. Now he is a leader in the training department, so it's not exactly like he has to deal with the worst of what this place has to offer, so his general complacency makes some amount of sense. He is also generally pretty good at helping out with morale in newer recruits, and he is generally seen as kind if a bit goofy at times. Most of those who've been around longer aren't as moved by his attempts to keep morale up however, as once you've been around long enough it becomes clear as day he's only made it this far out of pure luck. He can't truly help others get to where he is like he tries to because of that, and while part of him is aware of that, he also knows he can't afford to fully admit that to himself.

[petphantoms]

hi I'm the anon from earlier. clarifying that scott isn't aro and i was referring to it being a headcanon I've seen alongside these types of interpretations, my bad on the wording there. and thank you for sharing your thoughts, I'd hate to get into like "shipping discourse" or anything so i hope the original message wasn't too idk pessimistic or aggressive about it, i was really frustrated at the time and the whole thing was really rubbing me the wrong way (so i might have been a little less charitable in my observations). I love discussions around interpretations and fanon and aus of this kind of thing and i think your input is thoughtful and interesting! sorry for dragging it out onto this one random blog though i do feel a little bad about it, you seem cool though

lol nooo! i love to talk! and aah that makes sense.. as a headcanon, and then pairing them together... that deffo rubs me wrong. and espec if he was aro irl, right, thats a totally different can of worms.. idk how to explain myself there but ty for the clarification!

i mean to be completely honest, i made the post bc i was asking. i was frustrated with it too, because my exposure to scott in the fandom had only been negative, so it was just not sitting right with me. now that im learning my way around i definitely am finding more folks that share interpretations similar to myself (or they just post silly shit and thats all i want anyway), and its not as like. im realizing. oh thank god, not everyone is doing that, but it was still so weird scary to walk in on...

100% if you want to chit chat or something about this stuff feel free to keep sending anons or even message the blog? i can dm you with my main or something if you go off anon and tell me you want that, lol. im open to really any shipping discourse i guess not because im a discourse person (i dont rly like discourse ngl) but because i do have an interest in what makes people see things the way they do, and i like discussions where i can throw my own hat into the ring and either learn things or feel like im engaging with others thoughtfully instead of passively.

i am 100% open to hearing your thoughts and or bitching, i wont say im staunchly anti a!fh, because truth be told i just dont have enough stake in it to care (and those who did explain themselves to me didnt seem to have poor intentions in mind, and it was just an interpretation! which was nice), but i am definitely.. not someone whos going to partake in it myself, lol...

i feel like i just rambled in a circle here but. don't feel bad for talking abt it, i opened the door myself, and 100% i love to chat so if you have more to say im all ears! we dont have to agree to have a discussion, hehe (: -🍄

[69constellationsinatrenchcoat]

Reblogging our own post with The Thoughts that Amber didn't add!

My response: NOOO!!!! Sorry y'all I literally hate system spaces: it's nice to be treated as an individual ... And there are some spaces that are safe but not..all of them..

but here are some things I've noticed

Misinformation. IN SPADES. Or where the information is correct it's presented in such a way that makes parts feel sad or invalid (look, my old therapist did that enough, I don't need it from safe spaces too!?)

How we're expected to always be happy... I get it we wanna be positive but I literally got kicked out of a system server for saying I was feeling sick because I was "being negative".. sorry lol, as a disabled system... I'd hate to show you my actual day to day experiences and memories, sorryyyy! Or... We're expected to be depressed all the time or we're not believed

Adding to ^; all or nothing views: servers remaining 0 negativity or being full on vent servers where people are giving full on descriptions of their trauma.. same thing with syscourse, you have to be black or white and having s more complicated view gets u hate

how so many systems disrespect people who choose to integrate having no idea their history or how their system functions :(

expectatioms around system experiences: have to be textbook perfect to be respected ;-; or more accurately: community perfect (especially around introjects and high alter counts)

The expectation to give your systems information out...and then when you do, get shat on for things you can't control. I don't appear like a normal human in our inner world and various people said I was just roleplaying because I have puppy ears.. I'm sorry my brain always gives non human traits to represent our experiences, personalities and trauma!!??!! that's just??! A thing?? I can't? Get rid of them? They're in my sense of self?? Sorry???? That's just??? How my brain deals??? ;-; this was after we stated we had formally recognised DID too ;-;

fakeclaiming .. and on the other hand, having self diagnosed systems who have done.. like, one google search and decided it would be cool to have DID but don't do any further research

the constant threat of anything you say being posted to r/systemscringe, they don't give a flying shout whether you're traumatised, diagnosed, faking it etc, no one's safe from that reddit and i genuinely hate it sm

how little people seem to care about non introjected alters...i know heaps of us who are sitting here like 'im not your favourite character but im cool too, promise!!! pls talk to me, im lonely'

homophobia, racism, ableism etc

tw // how often grooming, and SA occurs.. systems are vulnerable people and.. unfortunately.. I've had one too many system spaces end with someone pushing me beyond my safe points and I know I'm not alone in that

Trauma Olympics; need I say more?

How it always has to be about your experience as a system? Can't I just be hanging out with a bunch of systems but be talking abt anything but the disorder that ruined our lives?

death threats and disrespect 👍

syscourse (sorry)

The lack of adult only spaces.. yeah, sorry. don't like being in system spaces with under 18s v much bc of various reasons.. mostly my ocd goes insane and I can't interact without having a panic attack ;-;

Still feeling like we need to put a singlet mask on even when we're talking to systems..yeah.. that's an us issue

anyway I... could go on for hours.. um.. gonna leave it here. but yea..system spaces aren't perfect by any stretch ;-;

these are just my observations pls don't send anyone in my system hate, we're rly fatigued and sick and im not thinking too well, it's been a long few months 😭😭😭

[fully stealing this off @okiimii with permission bc I'm curious about my demographics response]

Reblog for reach if you wish :)

[castle-dominion]

6x2 dreamworld

Castle still hasn't told becks that esposito thinks dreamworld is a thing. Or yk say "I heard abt it for derek storm"

There was only one existing "vial" of toxin? I mean like...

& then isn't US healthcare rly bad?

Is castle allowed in the investigation now?

"You told esposito?"

I think BRONSON thought it did

Lol castle, who is dying, is doing better than beckett.

Only an hour or two? how close is their thinking? he has 10-12 hours living & then another 1-2 hours?

reporter's gonna be dead

sleep when I'm dead" lol

RC: And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be out of your hair by the end of the day.

RmC: Is he always such a character?

You know, cops lie to you all the time. Be careful.

Just having this convo in a coffee shop?

IDK much abt this, I've seen it before & I'm still confused.

RmC is talking so slowly...

Oh heck yeah, the sec of defense is SO hiding stuff.

He has a slight lisp, his S is an SH.

Beckett is too much of a homicide cop, she talks to people firmly instead of being polite to this guy.

If it indeed does exist.

Is he lying when becks asked him abt valkyrie?

how much of the toxin do they HAVE?

Wasn't that beckett's ringtone in earlier seasons?

If I'm not there tomorrow <3 <3 <3

Martha KNOWS something is wrong.

Oof those "see you tomorrow"s dsjlskdjfslkdjf

The washington monument lol.

Love dual citizenship.

K but how is the antidote administered?

& how MUCH toxin/antidote is there? Maybe it is a rly small thing & he DOES have it in his backpack but it's so small u didn't notice at first.

RC: Thanks. For letting me be a part of this.

Vilante: When you write your next novel, maybe you’ll find a place for a dashing Colombian American federal agent.

RC: Consider it done.

Rasheed: (laughs) You have a gift for making every fact sound sinister.

That's cops for ya.

But you left AFTER he did...

Oh he was following him & then they talked & then it didn't matter who left first.

Here's the plot: Rasheed saw Bronson holding the dead body of a young woman, Bronson pulled a gun on him, they kept it a secret.

Bronson thinks rasheed told someone.

He could come up with a lie like that, plenty of people do.

Btw bronson was in that car for ages, what if he exposed other ppl to that toxin babes? Also did they ever figure out who planted the aeresol toxin in his car?

"We've been trying to highlight things for years, we didn't realize that the highlighters were black" -the fbi

Not since typewriters. i & W. & the music too.

Love a good old transcript. https://dustjackets.fandom.com/wiki/6x02_transcript

INT – TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN

KEVIN RYAN and JAVIER ESPOSITO exit the elevator.

KEVIN RYAN:

I just always thought that you and I would have kids together.

All the fangirls: wHat.?

(clipped)

Martha going to rysposito for help <3

Castle & his bad coffee lol.

It is his death, he can joke about it if he wants.

Lol typing.

Dun dun dun, valkyrie is the servant girl who is getting killed in there. Whoops.

Dun dun dun he mentioned dreamworld.

Vilante is me: But if he wanted to silence Bronson, why would he go to the trouble of setting him up first? And none of this explains the theft of the toxin.

So confused.

lmao waterboarding the truth out of secretary reed.

My man has a NICE house

"the woman whose husband is dying"

Ask him "then tell me who to actually ask about!"

rysposito calling beckett & castle's mom & all this stuff...kjsdkfhsjdk

She's smart but risked her job on it.

Also yeah castle is getting more shortness of breath, how long does he have now?

The reporter boy claimed the body of the servant agent?

Why would the reporter, Brad, have given up his information earlier in the episode then?

It's one of the oldest motives there is.

RC: I was given less than a day to live just a little less than a day ago

(i shouldn't find that funny)

Man has a nice apartment, too bad Castle doesn't have his writer vest tho

WOULD he have all that info in his house? is he that messy?

But maybe becks should call the doc anyway so he can administer it bro...

Oh now that is sick (so cool & poetic tho)

You & your stupid hunches <3.

Looks a bit like the guy from the show mum & lil bro are watching. oliver queen.

The sugarbowl

Also nobody knew he had an appointement for an interview with the wife? rly?

Castle *falls*

anTidote babe.

Oh Castle is going to wake up & trip this guy lol.

Oh it's mccord,, not castle. too bad. Good how she trusted her partner's hunches tho.

So castle almost dies & then makes a full recovery?

INT – HOSPITAL

KB: Castle.

Her voice is soft over the beep of the machines. She reaches out to stroke his neck.

KB: Castle.

He hums as he travels back into wakefulness.

KB: Hey.

She smiles.

RC: Hi. I had the strangest dream and you were there.

MR: Oh, thank God.

AC: Hey Dad.

RC: And you were there and you were there.

They grab is hand.

Pi: Hey Mr. C. I did some healing reiki on you. Looks like it worked.

RC: (dryly) And you were there.

(I love Pi. Lives in amsterdam where shrooms & weed are legal, lived in costa rica & went home with Alexis even tho he doesn't have a passport, later on becomes a bee counting biologist or smth, lights up sage, practices reiki, he is a very culturally learned man.)

Ooh th emusic djfksldfsdkjflskjd

Beckett chill, it's like when you let drug dealers off the hook bc they help with your murder investigation. You do that all the time.

That's what partners do <3 <3 <3

I think I got some clips from this one...

[brattyandwhorrible]

Omg im so mf funny. So my gfs phone lit up last night when i was getting up to go potty after us just having like the best sex I've ever had and her already having passed out afterwards.. and this phone that lit up said.. "hey baby... blah blah blah"

So NATURALLY ima pick up the phone and see who is saying this right.. well when i picked the phone up the message saying this wasn't on the notifications anymore. 😐 so me starting to rly feel some type of way proceeds forward in the snoopy sesh thru baes phone tryna uncover this person 'hey baby'ing' my girl.

All out on camera and all. Plus i was still naked 😂💀 i did not gaf how crazy i looked.

Oh uh uh.

So during my little investigation adventures i realized that MY GIRLFRIEND IS NOT THE PERFECT LITTLE ANGEL I THOUGHT SHE WAS.

I just had this image of her in my head of being God-Like and blemish free. Especially when it comes to personal matters i guess. But what did i learn. NOBODY IS TRULY PERFECT AFTER ALL. Bc while shes here rn bothered by me telling her a lie #1 (me saying that i was in love with her b4 i actually was), by me telling other ppl the same lovey stuff i was telling her while i was locked up #2.... she also was being all extra friendly wit other ppl and in a whole 'relationship' or w/e wit someone else, telling grls she wanna see them and good morning texts and inviting them over to netflix and blah blah whatever.. WHILE I WAS IN FL WITH HER.

And ya wanna know what else ive realized?

I dont care that she's imperfect, i love her anyways and i just am going to trust that we not be like that to each other anymore. I'm not saying what she did is worse than what i did either.. just had to put that out there.

Anyways so now not only did she wake up without me, she came looking for her phone.

She's acting all weird and being distant and quiet.

I feel wrong 4 just tryna act like nothing happened and i didnt just do what i did and see what i seen.. lmao this is so typical. I couldn't even help it, my inner most crazy got the best of me when i seen that hey baby whatever it said. I had to know what the fuck. Im not even mad tho, not yet anyways... i mean ill be mad if she dont stop tryna act like she didnt do the same thing shes upset that i did.

Lol. But rly tho, its not cool but i mean its cool. I fucked up, she fucked up. I have genuine, real feelings for her unlike before.. and ive fallen in love with her, experiencing a type of love I've never felt before. I'm not trying to sabotage our bond we have together what so ever, over nothing. I feel like our feelings for each other are mutual so i can trust that the funny business wont be a thing from here on out. Leaving me not to worry but to be excited abt having her and the Universe working its magic like it did..

I'm not the same person i was 2 years ago by any means. Im like complete polar opposite of where i was then actually. And for the first time i actually WANT to have a future with another human being period.

I rly hope we can not lose all of our trust over the things we did before we rly had a chance at being together and fully experiencing one another. I also hope this isn't gonna be an on going issue or source of sorrow either.

Ugh.. ok im done 4 now...

GOOD JOB LIL BABY 4 SLIPPING AND RLY LETTING YOUR CRAZY SHOW.

0 to 100 real fucking quick. I do have to say im glad i got to the source of recent consistent concerns abt my actions during the time of these events taking place. Maybe now we can call it truce and grow into better ppl tog..

One last thing.. 2 my Lover Baby, pls know that i do apologize for invading your privacy even tho i know you was looking 4 love else in somebody else too. I'm rly not tripping tho. I don't feel any diff abt you at all.. im just lowkey gonna be hurt if the situation abt tonight happening is handled the wrong way.. like i don't just wanna pretend like nothing happened. I want to talk abt everything.. even if it hurts, i still feel like its better 2 talk abt it. Even if we dont have much to say on something. I love you tho baby, I'm not going anywhere and i still trust you.. im not even tripping like that. I know how im coming at you also so i KNOW we good. You'll see that too once you see that ima consistently act right as well. Your still my sweet baby pookie pie 😻😘😇 and we were still made exactly for each other bc flaws and all, i want every single part of you bby. Im sorry for doing too much and letting my crazy get the best of me 🙄💀🙈 not gonna lie I'm a lil embarrassed over it lol

#crazygirlfriendsbelike #owningmyshit #shestillperfecttho #plsdontbemadbby ❤❤❤❤❤❤ #girlblogging #journalingintocyberspace #babygirlbratlife

#nowlemmecrawlunderarockanddie 😫🥸

[wooahaes]

sunflowers are gorgeous, my step dad is growing a few, i'll get some photos for you!!! 💛💛💛

i've been rewatching a lot of gose lately, it cheers me up and gets me through an anxiety day or if i have a bad work day <33 he's so good as mafia!!! <3 although the one ep where he's mafia and seungkwan is the police and he checks hoshi, learns that he's the mafia and then gets killed IS SO HEARTBREAKING GRR 😂😂😂😂 POOR KWANNIE >.<

okay now i'm trapped between hoshi and jihoon, i read a few jihoon fics this morning and then watched a few compilations and now i'm STUCK BETWEEN THEM AAAAAA

i am definitely that person too, esp if it's something genuinely hilarious. you laugh at something funny and then someone's laugh just sets you back off again 😭😭😭

omg wait no that would be completely chaotic, i don't think anyone other than cheol is equipped to deal with how chaotic svt are <33

i love hsm so much you don't understand </3 i want to erase my memory of hsm and watch them all over again i'm OBSESSED :o i'm being biased here bc he's my url but i just want to have a day out with seungkwan, i just think it would be the most fun </3 we can both be so savage and i feel like our personalities are so similar <3

omg yes yes, LEE KNOW PLS, him and his cats are so beautiful to me!!! 🥰 my s/o and i have two cats together, he gets SOOOOO flustered over baby animals! when he sees bunnies, his voice goes so high pitched and he screams "BUNNYYYYY" 😍😍😍😍

you just can't help but bias the whole group tbh <3 they're my favourite group. i've actually had the same favourite artist for the last 18 years which are a band called mcfly but i think svt have taken that number one spot in my heart. i've been wrestling with the both of them since i first listened to svt 6 years ago but nah, i think svt have my whole entire heart <3333

hiii heather sorry for taking forever to reply to this!! i literally panicked when i came to reply bc i thought it got deleted somehow :(

omg please do!! i’d love to see them <3

one day i will just... sit back and watch gose and tmap and probs the different skz stuff. is that from one of the TTT eps? i think i remember that one lol

oh big mood lol i literally switch between wonwoo n vernon based on the day. i am soft for them <3 but honestly all of svt bias wrecks me depending on the day. i think its usually dino and cheol like... most often (dino’s humor <3 i just love how he clowns the others sometimes lmao and cheol’s... everything tbh i love that man), but it really just depends on what they’re doing lol

sometimes i laugh too hard to the point where i go completely silent and it hurts lmao i did have someone go “stop STOP, UR KILLING HER” once in response to me silently crying w laughter

it’d be chaotic but i still want to see it fskhfdf like. looking at shinee, i’m like... there’s only one person who can handle taemin and it’s onew and even then taemin gets away with a lot lmao

BIG mood tho!! they’re such silly fun movies <3 i love them so much. seungkwan would be fun to have a day out with tbh!! i feel like he’d be fun to talk with esp just bc he’s a sweetie who i think would happily carry convo if ur a lil nervous or listen if ur passionate abt something. honestly i think all of svt would be fun to have a day out with depending on what ur doing? jeonghan n jun would both be good for like... rly chill, laid-back days tbh

also minho and his cats... i legit love them so much. he’s such a good cat dad!! also aww ur s/o sounds so cute!! also pls tell ur kitties that i love them omg <3

idk if i’d call svt my favorite group since i have multiple groups that i love + i think shinee will always rank very highly since they’re genuinely very special to me and i love them a lot. + i’m a softie for both trsr, golcha, and skz!! there are simply so many men i am soft for <3 is this allowed--

[lucky-draws]

hi so i wanted to ask u for art blog recs! specifically metal gear! i've been looking for blogs like yours but none are really very active anymore sadly so if u know any and could direct me to some that would be awesome!

ohh hello!!!! ok, i can list some ppl who i like, some of them are more active than others bc yeah ur right it's hard to find lots of super active metal gear blogs sadly...in my case i just happen to have too much time on my hands right now xD

i guess i won't like. actually tag them bc i don't rly know most of them to talk to jggjjg so i feel shy doing that but I'll just list some urls, some of these will probably be people you've already seen tbh jgjg problems of a smallish fandom

- bigmonsteras is someone whose art i love, they do a lot of peace walker stuff that's rly good! - daydreamycrustacean posts quite a bit of mg stuff and i rly like their art too, they've done some great comics. - 730chocolate has a really unique style, so i like their stuff a lot, altho they're not super active. - pyersiki is also someone i rly like, they draw a lot of kaz content lol which is great. - sgushyonka has some rly good mg stuff, they did some cool pieces as well as funny stuff. - someone who is pretty active is the esteemed ba7land ...they draw a lot of uh. bara stuff like Very Big Tits big boss but i mean good for them. they do a range of stuff actually some cute snake eater content tbh. - pe4cewalker is doing some rly nice art of, uh, surprise surprise, peace walker related stuff, some very good kaz content. - kokirby has a cool style and did some great ocelots although i don't know how active they are metal gear wise. - berserkbrandee seems to be fairly active, they do some cute otasune stuff. - littlenim does some lovely art, cool style and does mgs3/pw as well as otasune era stuff. - jxthics has some great stuff although they're not as active now mg wise i think, but i like them a lot. - crybabimeiri has done some really lovely pieces but not as active mg wise at the moment either. - groznisad has a really fun art style, they posted recently so i hope they're somewhat active. - pejuad has some very cool stuff, i love their solid snake pieces, v interesting style - truthful-tidings used to do mgs stuff, i think not as much now, but their ocs and other stuff looks cool lol - gncbigboss posts mgs art occasionally, they did some cool sniper wolfs i seem to remember - wingedtrumpet is a blog i just noticed the other day, they did a post with some funky looking raidens, so one to watch maybe

i guess also just keep checking the mgs tumblr tag for new posts/new artists cropping up! i know tumblr messed up the search so that if you go to the 'recent' section you get a load of stuff unrelated to mgs, but if you click on the 'tagged' section instead, then you actually will get recent posts that are almost all mgs related. (that's what i’ve found on mobile anyway lol)

im sure there are many good artists i’ve forgotten or not come across, these are the somewhat active/current mgs ones that come to mind though anyway. i’m only on tumblr for fandom stuff, not twitter, so i guess there’s good stuff on there i might be missing. (u won’t catch me posting on the light blue hellsite anytime soon tho LOL)

actually, for art in general, i keep seeing a bunch of disco elysium related fanart on my dash and all of it looks so good...i’ve never played that game or know anything abt it but everyone into that seems to be doing amazing art lmfao ...not relevant in the hunt for mgs blogs but it’s something i was just thinking the other day lol

i hope this was somewhat helpful, or alternatively if u already knew most of these blogs on the list then my apologies jjgjh, anyway thanks for dropping by!

and actually, i guess if anyone else wants to rec any blogs i didn’t mention - or even to plug ur own blog lol, nothing wrong with that - then feel free to drop an ask i guess and i’ll answer that here too!!

(also feel free to take a shot every time i used the words “cool” “stuff” and “lol” in this post jjjhhhghg)

[ohoshi]

omg first i need to talk about nct at song festival (gayo daechukjae) umm first of all mark and taeyongs rap was so good but ofc we all knew they would kill it. and then in nct U class, teacher taeyong looked so good...the way he bit that pointer stick thing in the beginning was so sexc (and the hair and the glasses ahdsfasjf) 😳 but also sungchans rap in that?? i was not expecting that but why am i even surprised anymore.. and also misfit live?? i loved nct's school uniform concept too for some reason ahahaha

and then xiaojun in resonance!! wow yes go shine xj!!! (also idk why but i found it so funny when it was doyoung's turn after xj, but xj was kinda blocking dy (who was really walking with a PURPOSE) so dy lightly pushed him out of the way) and then omg shotaro!! offstage he is so 😊 but damn in hard carry he was so good!! ahh and then also the thing where all the kpop artists at gayo daechukjae sang that song was so cute (i smiled so hard when nct came up 🥺)

yea for my job situation i think it will be okay, i talked to some people i know/mentors about it too and i think things will work out...they always do in the end right? 😊 now about anime LOL this is making me wanna start/rewatch an anime now hahahah! honestly i kind of have phases where i alternate between kdramas and animes, but i havent rly watched anime much lately besides haikyuu (which i was also surprised was still airing (but it's only season 2 so far?)). kpop (aka NCT) has been consuming my life lmao but im here for it 😂

weightlifting fairy was also my first kdrama!! yes i can totally give u some kdrama recs! besides the ones i mentioned before (which are most of my top ones), i also liked chicago typewriter, marriage not dating (i love the fake relationship trope hahaha), dinner mate, sky castle (it's kinda intense but it's so good and an iconic kdrama), cheer up, another miss oh, kingdom (if you like zombie things)...i heard startup is good and i want to watch it soon too! also i continued watching more of uncanny counter these past few days and i love it (but it's ongoing so no binging)

okay now svt: i watched some of your recs and youre so right all their choreos are so satisfying?! i also actually agree with you about black on black, i liked black on black and it was cool but it only featured like 5 members lmao and in the svt choreos it does feel like all of them are featured in some way in each performance? plus their choreos are just so great to watch!! also i've had left and right stuck in my head since i watched it LOL but i agree it's objectively better than dynamite (not an army though; also pls nobody come at us for this lmaoo)

also super random but can you tell me who is the one in the red/purple plaid shirt in the svt home dance practice?? i am kinda attracted by his dance moves LOL and i havent learned names yet 😭 i will continue watching all ur svt recs though hehehe and update you on the status of my fangirling :))

omg wait also i would never have guessed that you're not an english speaker just from these messages!! how did you know that i was prob a native speaker haha (i guess *technically* cantonese is my first language, but then i learned english in school so now i'm obviously more native in that lol and english is the only language i can read/write in)

OMGGF IKR as a multi stan i really enjoyed the rap collab especially because i really love monsta x's rap line (esp i.m!!! his rapping skill 😍) and of course mark and taeyong!!!! 😭 our boys 😭 our golden rappers 😭 SLAYED IT! omg the nct u got me 😳 taeyong looked so good???? wtf? and also sungchan? damn that boy keeps surprising me! the interesting part to me was when one member(johnny if i remember correctly) bumped into taeyong but it was done on purpose and how he uhhh kinda shook his body and his head but it all looked so cool and he never stopped rapping!!! love how they all 'performed' misfit manifesting wild teenagers in school (as they are tbh) IT WAS SO FUN AND COOL!!!

XIAOJUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAS SO!!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!! THE CONFIDENCE??? THE STAGE PRESENCE????? XIAOJUN CENTER???? XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT????? i live 😭 he was so good he looked so good i was so happy and i'm so proud of him 😭 from here the only way to go is up! i hope he keeps surprising us! and omg i haven't noticed that part when doyoung pushed him bc he blocked him?? and i just rewatched it and it looks funny 🤣 but they held everything professionally 😌  no surprises there 😌

OH MY GOD THE HARD CARRY PERFORMANCE!!!!!!!!! first of all our boy shotaro DAMN 😳 he looked so good you couldn’t say that he just debuted a few months ago!! such a dancing machine! (but honestly i am not surprised because in make a wish he was rly good and he debuted as a dancer i expected from him to be good™ as he is!) and i love the duality od him <3 yk that kind of idol that you want to protect at all cost but the next second they're the one you seek protection from? yeH sign me uP! and don't even get me started on hyunjin, juyeon and moonbin!!!!! but i mean all 3 of them are main dancers of course they would look good™ 😌 (yeah shotaro performed with 3 main dancers of 3 different groups i mean the honor??????)

the end of the festival was so wholesome! It was a serotonin boost and me too i also smiled the whole time! so cute 😭 and ot23 were cutiesssss

yes! everything will work out in the end! don't stress about it!<3 oh haikyuu only has 2 seasons? wtf hsgsjsgs ok then i just watched when it had like 13 episodes, WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT that's when i watched it lmao

OMG OK I HAVE WRITTEN DOWN ALL OF THESE DRAMAS (and from the previous ask) IN MY NOTES SO FAR im mostly excited about the fake relationship one 👀 i love fake relationship trope, too 🤧 oh no binging?? is that your thing?? usually i love to wait for the show to finish airing and then i binge watch it in a few days (or one day depends how busy i am)

SEVENTEEN!!!!: yeah all of their choreos are so satisfying (pointing this out one more time) they always pay attention to details (for example in home, bc you're familiar with it, they even choreograph the hands and pay attention to them while most of the other kpop choreos very often freestyle the whole arms sjagaj) here's a fun fact abt svt that makes me love them so much agsgsj: they're self produced! they produce their own music and they even come up with their own choreos!! (of course not on their own, woozi is a producer but he's not making songs on his own he coproduces them with [a producer name bc i guess that's irrelevant but if you’re curious: bumzu], they come up with their own choreo (to be precise, hoshi does! he is 1/2 main dancers in group and he is the main choreographer! he doesn't do everything on his own of course, he gets help from the rest of the performance team (which is a svt subunit consisted of their 2 main and 2 lead dancers: hoshi, dino, the8, jun) and of course some other infamous kpop choreography teams) and i think that, by now, all the members were credited at least once for the lyrics

I'M SO GLAD YOU HAVE LEFT AND RIGHT STUCK IN YOUR HEAD HAGSJSSGSG but i mean of course you would it's soo good and soo catchy (yeahhh no worries, this army has already gotten minor hate for having controversial opinions™ and for criticising her faves so idc anymore 💁🏻‍♀️ it's my opinion as a dancer and i stand by it, even can't you see me by txt is better than dynamite so literally 3 dance performance were better!!!! in a way!!!! and neither of the 3 won!!! yes i am salty!!!!!)

the guy in the red/purple shirt (the center guy when they do the 3 dances for the first time right??) IS DINO!!!! he's the maknae and 2/2 main dancers in svt so!!! of course you would be attracted by his moves!!!!!! JSGSJSN i'm curious to see if you end up staning svt and biasing dino hsfsjsgsha

CANTONESE IS YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE? damn i thought you couldn’t get more interesting here's a dumb question: can you understand xiaojun, hendery and lucas without titles??? not that i would know if they ever speak cantonese in front of the camera for i don't know the difference between chinese dialects</3

[kisskissbanggang]

(1/7) Bel, it's Izzy. I'm here, and I'm ready to write my prowl essay. forewarning it's probably rly long (if u didn't read pt 5 but are planning to DO NOT READ THIS please go read it's soo good!) *inhales* WTF THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I'VE READ! ok ok, so basically i loved this entire thing that idek where to start. first and foremost! all the chan x reader ;^; *UGLY CRYING* Bel I feel so fed! the push and pull! the love/hate! the love scene was so emotional and just represented them rn!

IZZY IT’S BEL THANK YOU FOR WAITING I WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD TIME AND THE HEADSPACE TO READ AND REPLY TO YOUR AMAZING CONTRIBUTION TO MY INBOX

First of all, thank you for your kind words. I say this over and over, but I can’t believe how much I love Prowl. I’m genuinely proud of it and I’m so happy to have you here enjoying it. I’m glad the push and pull is strong! This whole mess started when Chan asked Reader to trust him, and only got worse when Jisung did the same.

(2/7) like how they don't want each other (rn?) but for some reason--and this is just my opinion--I feel like they could actually find someway to grow through this and find a love for each other that's not just bc of their powers. like I feel bad that Chan and reader are having such like hatred for each other bc of those voices (step out of them vOICES! I'm sorry I had to). it made me sad to see during their love scene how against it they truly were.

They really are kindred spirits despite how much they don’t want to be (or at least Reader doesn’t want to be 👀) And if I had to speak for them in that scene, Chan doesn’t want to take advantage of her, and Reader doesn’t want to lose control 🤧

(3/7) ALSO when chan said he loved her but she made him wish he was dead. that hit me way too hard. I was so sad I hated how bad he felt to say that; AND the old picture! when the lix showed her the picture I felt way too sad, (I will get to lix momentarily) BUT BEL I AM SO SAD HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME WANNA CRY LIKE THIS! like how dare you make chan hurt so much!? (but please give us more of this angst I'm thriving off of all this lore and learning more of his backstory 👀)

DARK PAST SAD BOY CHAN IS MY FAVORITE TO WRITE AND IT’S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE FROM HERE 😭

(4/7) You write all the characters so well Bel! all the way through I felt attached to all of them! the soft fluff and love scenes with Jisung tugged at my heartstrings honestly! it had me liking the Jisung x reader ship ngl it too is a good option! (I'm still team Chan tho I'm sorry Jisung! I cannot stray from all the good angst and romance and passion and hatred and all that wonderful jazz ;p) omg and ALL! THE! BACKSTORY/LORE! (minho cameo uwu) I WAS NOT READY FOR A PLOT BOMB AT ALL!

I made Izzy enjoy Jisung x Reader? 🤩 the captain of Team Chan? 🤩🤩 That’s a win in my book 😘 but I’m glad you’re in Team Chan, and it still has a present following! More than anything, I’m just impressed Team Reader is so strong 🥰

(5/7) I love lia and her story it's so much deeper than I'd anticipated! I'm really curious to see where the story continues (I SAW THOSE OTHER 2 PARTS BEL! I'm both happy & sad bc I rly don't want this series to end but ofc when one thing ends smth even more amazing begins, hehe) for now I'll be rereading the whole thing all over again bc that's only natural; also I saw in your response to one of my asks that team chan is the lowest choice and, well, I'M SRY BUT I'M STICKING W/ THE UNDERDOG

I’ve been looking forward to writing Lia and Minho’s story since part 4 omg 🤧 I’m so happy I’m on this journey, I have no clue what I’ll do when it’s over, but I’m happy you’re here and leading Team Chan 💗

(6/7) I've rambled on a whole lot this time but prowl is the reason I began to talk to you and so it's special to me! <3 above all this part was great and the cliffhanger?! bel, lix and the girls, yuna and- omg I'm so excited to read more! I also saw how you said you kept my ask in mind while writing and 🥺 that made me really happy I'm happy I can help you in some way

Of course I kept your ask in mind! I appreciate you and all the Prowl fans so when you give me such amazing encouragement and feedback it keeps me going 🥰

(7/7) lastly I'll def talk abt my model!chan story with you more once I get some more of it figured out! it's so rough and I have like 8 other fic ideas (unless you wanna hear abt those too(?) 👀 maybe I should start a tumblr? LOL idk) anyways tho it's been so nice to be able to tell you how I truly feel abt your work here on tumblr and I hope you don't mind I sent this essay for you haha xD please never stop writing prowl and your works are amazing and I'll always be a big fan - Izzy 💜✨

YES please make a tumblr and tell me about your model!chan idea Izzy omg I’ll enjoy it so much 🥺💕

ps: SORRY I FLODDED YOUR ASKS TOO MUCH SO THESE WERE DELAYED! I just wanted to say I remember first reading prowl when it was still just a oneshot and to see how far it's come I'm proud of both you and the story it's amazing truly; oh & I'd totally be buying the original prowl books/merch/watching the movies one day btw! I'd be starting the hype train LOL xoxo - Izzy 💜✨

IZZY I love you, I appreciate you, I’m so lucky to have you, if there’s ever mercy there’s a gift basket coming your way 🤧💕

[sunshinetoshi]

you deserve the giant ask for being great!!! and oFC IT WAS WORTH REREADING i also needed to refresh my memory and prepare my heart. lmaooo this story was truly the beginning of the end for me lmao i'm trapped here now. how many months has it been. will i ever leave. never

AKSJHD lately i've gotten into the bad habit of forgetting what platforms i'm talking to people on so if i swipe away a notification i just. forget to reply. or if it's someone i talk to on multiple platforms i'll see one and not the other asdjh it's bad i need help. we deserved josh and john ambrose updates in movie 3 idc like even a CRUMB or did lara jean rly dance with john then ghost smh

pls daydreaming abt having my own place >>> actually doing the work to have my own place. i've bookmarked so much stuff on etsy it's ridiculous (i swear i'm not doing nothing but it doesn't feel substantial until i actually have something actually set if that makes sense)

ngl i wasnt going to join the taglist bc i check your blog pretty often anyway until i saw you made a sPREADSHEET i love a good colour coded spreadsheet so ofc i need to contribute

-🍁

heheh so sweet omg 🤭🤭💓💓 and BAHAH facts we're trapped. again sorry for my part in this but also yay <33

I DO THE SAME. i have to put less trust in my memory when it comes to notifs bc my friends and fam think i'm ignoring them when i MEANT to respond. (mhm like the title is 'to all the boys' but all the boys were only in the first?? explain - at least the movies i havent read the books)

i'm also apartment hunting (or planning 😃👍 yknow how it is) so i feel the pain. the only thing i really have in my power rn is planning my room aesthetic so that's what is taking up brain space ajdhsjd

MY SPREADSHEET 😍😍 HAHAHA the colors really took it up a notch i gotta say. and your contributions to that list?? *chef's kiss* love those boys. lol i think every five tags i get i will update the spreadsheet and post the results. we love a nice lil stats report HAHA