#literally the panic i felt when i didnt see this ask in my inbox...

[wooahaes]

sunflowers are gorgeous, my step dad is growing a few, i'll get some photos for you!!! 💛💛💛

i've been rewatching a lot of gose lately, it cheers me up and gets me through an anxiety day or if i have a bad work day <33 he's so good as mafia!!! <3 although the one ep where he's mafia and seungkwan is the police and he checks hoshi, learns that he's the mafia and then gets killed IS SO HEARTBREAKING GRR 😂😂😂😂 POOR KWANNIE >.<

okay now i'm trapped between hoshi and jihoon, i read a few jihoon fics this morning and then watched a few compilations and now i'm STUCK BETWEEN THEM AAAAAA

i am definitely that person too, esp if it's something genuinely hilarious. you laugh at something funny and then someone's laugh just sets you back off again 😭😭😭

omg wait no that would be completely chaotic, i don't think anyone other than cheol is equipped to deal with how chaotic svt are <33

i love hsm so much you don't understand </3 i want to erase my memory of hsm and watch them all over again i'm OBSESSED :o i'm being biased here bc he's my url but i just want to have a day out with seungkwan, i just think it would be the most fun </3 we can both be so savage and i feel like our personalities are so similar <3

omg yes yes, LEE KNOW PLS, him and his cats are so beautiful to me!!! 🥰 my s/o and i have two cats together, he gets SOOOOO flustered over baby animals! when he sees bunnies, his voice goes so high pitched and he screams "BUNNYYYYY" 😍😍😍😍

you just can't help but bias the whole group tbh <3 they're my favourite group. i've actually had the same favourite artist for the last 18 years which are a band called mcfly but i think svt have taken that number one spot in my heart. i've been wrestling with the both of them since i first listened to svt 6 years ago but nah, i think svt have my whole entire heart <3333

hiii heather sorry for taking forever to reply to this!! i literally panicked when i came to reply bc i thought it got deleted somehow :(

omg please do!! i’d love to see them <3

one day i will just... sit back and watch gose and tmap and probs the different skz stuff. is that from one of the TTT eps? i think i remember that one lol

oh big mood lol i literally switch between wonwoo n vernon based on the day. i am soft for them <3 but honestly all of svt bias wrecks me depending on the day. i think its usually dino and cheol like... most often (dino’s humor <3 i just love how he clowns the others sometimes lmao and cheol’s... everything tbh i love that man), but it really just depends on what they’re doing lol

sometimes i laugh too hard to the point where i go completely silent and it hurts lmao i did have someone go “stop STOP, UR KILLING HER” once in response to me silently crying w laughter

it’d be chaotic but i still want to see it fskhfdf like. looking at shinee, i’m like... there’s only one person who can handle taemin and it’s onew and even then taemin gets away with a lot lmao

BIG mood tho!! they’re such silly fun movies <3 i love them so much. seungkwan would be fun to have a day out with tbh!! i feel like he’d be fun to talk with esp just bc he’s a sweetie who i think would happily carry convo if ur a lil nervous or listen if ur passionate abt something. honestly i think all of svt would be fun to have a day out with depending on what ur doing? jeonghan n jun would both be good for like... rly chill, laid-back days tbh

also minho and his cats... i legit love them so much. he’s such a good cat dad!! also aww ur s/o sounds so cute!! also pls tell ur kitties that i love them omg <3

idk if i’d call svt my favorite group since i have multiple groups that i love + i think shinee will always rank very highly since they’re genuinely very special to me and i love them a lot. + i’m a softie for both trsr, golcha, and skz!! there are simply so many men i am soft for <3 is this allowed--

[dazed--xx]

Alone

REQUEST: *Hi see you mentioned about story requests. I'm having a hard time since I'm currently pregnant and my partner walked out on me, so could you do one when Jungkook where I meet Jungkook and he helps me raise the baby please*

Summary:  “I'm pregnant Jungkook.” the line goes dead silent “look before you say anything, no I wasn’t hiding this from you and I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me shit I wouldn’t want to talk to me and move on to someone who is not pregnant and going to be having this type of responsibilities-” “Y/N-”

GENRE: Mild-Angst, Fluff

Member: Jungkook x Pregnant!reader

Word count: 2,132 

A/N: so this is literally my first fanfic ever and i hope you guys like it. and to the person that requested this I wanted to tag you because i did post it but i didnt want to kind of call you out online especially since this was based on something you have personally happening to you, trust me pregnancy is scary let alone having to go it alone so if you need someone to talk to im here btw.. but hopefully you guys like this it was pretty good i wanna post a couple of requests a day since i banged this out as quickly as i did im taking more requests just inbox me or go to my ask let me know if you want your name attached to the request and i will send everyone that i know requested a specific story i will tag and send it to you so you know it is done but without further ado ALONE

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“Where are you going? Do you really expect me to do this alone?” I shouted to the already abandoned house. A swell in my throat rises and I can't breathe. My body shakes as the tears take over. I fall to my knees running my hand over my stomach. “Don’t you worry baby; Daddy will be back he loves you I promise” I say to the life growing within my womb. 

The warmth from the comforter consumes me as I awaken with dried tears in my eyes. My heart aches as I remember the events from the past 12 hours. The thick silence takes hold of my heart and it begins racing. My heart beat sounding as if it is being played on a speaker the size of a skyscraper. Feeling the bile rise in my throat, rushing to the bathroom, I empty out the contents of my stomach. Tears escape my eyes as I reach out to the void. I'm alone truly.  

My first OBGYN appointment rolls around and my heart is in my stomach. The nurse escorts me in, slowly my feet turn into lead as I drag myself onto the cot in the room and lay back facing the monitor. Once I feel that cool gel upon my stomach, my heart settles and the most beautiful BUMP BUMP BUMP is heard throughout the room. My eyes focus on the image in front of me. “well congrats sweetie you're about 10 weeks, Due September 27. Remember no stress and make sure to take your prenatal. We’ll see you next week” My ultrasound technician announces excitedly. I smile anxious as to what I should do next.  

I make my way to a small café after my appointment wanting a small tea to calm my nerves. Looking around the coffee shop I notice quite the crowd and my panic begins to set in. It feels like I can't breathe while the crowds begin to grow as the café reaches the brink of rush. More and More people pour through the door as my anxiety takes over and I feel the bile rising again, I abandon my spot in line trying to make it to the restroom before I release the contents of my stomach all over the café floor. The restroom door becomes the only thing in sight to me as I dash for it. I reach for the handle and the door opens and I slam into a hard chest and soon I am on the floor.

“HOLY CRAP!!! IM SO SORRY I WAS NOT PAYING ATTENTION” A angelic voice apologized above me. My eyes drift from the floor up to see the most amazing man I've ever seen in my life with his hand out and my voice gets caught in my throat. I stare at him for a while capturing every detail of his face and take his hand. I nod quickly and mutter a fast “Sorry” and dash around the beautiful man and lose myself behind the safety of the door. I was dreading walking back out into the craziness of the café, but excited to see if I could once again get a glimpse of the gorgeous man from before.  

Soon I am back in line and order my tea, when a familiar voice sounds from next to me “You know.... you should let me pay you back for your drink you know...since I hurt you” Shocked I turn my head to see the same beautiful man from before. “Oh, please don’t worry about it I really wasn’t paying attention either it's not a big deal” I smile shyly. “Besides I'm sure you have better things to do with your time than to buy a stranger a drink” He laughs “Honestly, Beautiful, I don’t really have anything to do with my time that doesn’t involve getting to know you” Heat creeps up to my face and I lower my gaze and smile. “I don’t need you to pay me back for my tea for you to be able to get to know me, but unfortunately I gotta go” I say slowly moving past him. “At least let me get your number...please” He asked “You don’t even know my name and you want my number?” “Hey I know what I want and I feel like me knowing your name won't matter much cause I probably won't be calling you anything other than mine” I let out a small giggle “ that was super corny but since you're trying so hard give me your phone” I put my number in his phone and hand it back to him and walk toward the door “By the way my name is Y/N” as I make my exit I hear him shout back “Jungkook!”  

As the weeks pass, I find myself talking more and more to Jungkook. He still hasn’t stopped flirted with me as much as he did that day in the café but we talk everyday about almost everything and I can't help but feel scared to tell him I am having a baby. What would he say? Will he not want to talk to me anymore? Would he not like me as much? A loud RING pulls me out of my thoughts as my phone lights up with Jungkook's name and photo comes up on my screen.  

“Hey, what's up cutie?” He says excitedly  

“Not much, just lying in bed not feeling too good today” I respond pouty  

“Aw, do you need anything? Medicine? I can bring you soup it'll make you feel better I know you said you went out with your friend last night are you hungover?” The worry evident in his voice.

“Um honestly no um I can't drink so I'm definitely not hungover just different I know what it is though I'll be fine” the nervousness in my voice is evident

“what's wrong then beautiful? Is everything okay?” Oh no... not that question. He’s worried and I know he is but I don’t know what to say. I can't stop it the words just rush out of my mouth like the bile I throw up every morning  

“I'm pregnant Jungkook....I'm 14 weeks pregnant” the line goes dead silent “look before you say anything, no I wasn’t hiding this from you and I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me shit I wouldn’t want to talk to me and move on to someone who is not pregnant and going to be having this type of responsibilities-” “Y/N-” No listen Kookie cause I really like you and I didn’t mean to keep this from you I was just scared that you would hate me” “Y/N-” “I mean I know you just met me a couple weeks ago and it wouldn’t mean much for you to just walk away from this because let's be honest who wants to deal with that-” “Y/N! JUST STOP AND LISTEN PLEASE!” The words stop flowing as quickly as they began.

“Do you think id stop liking you because of the simple fact that you're pregnant, I mean yeah it does suck that you're going to have someone else's baby but I don’t care about that... WAIT! Is that why your ex left?” I stay silent

“Baby....are you there?” He asks worried.

“Baby girl???”  

“Beautiful are you okay? Hello?”

I sniffle “Yeah I’m here sorry” my voice cracks at every word.

“Baby are you crying? Do you need me to get you anything?”  

“No, I'm fine I promise I'm going to go to bed okay? Goodnight handsome I'll talk to you in the morning” “wait what no I'm com-” I cut him off to end the already overwhelming call. My vision blurs as the tears cascade down my face and I let out a harsh sob. I was scared for nothing or he's just too optimistic. A loud knock on the door grabs my attention.  

“who is it?” fear leaking out in my tone. “Baby it's me open up” I hear Jungkook's melodic voice through the door. Quickly I swing the door open to be greeted with the man I've grown so accustomed to in the past few weeks. Taking in the sight of him my heart begins to race as the tears began to no longer form. He reaches his arms around me and pulls me against him. “Baby girl, why didn’t you tell me sooner? You really thought that would make me just leave. How could I do that when in the past few weeks, you’ve stolen my heart” He looks at me and there's a hunger in his eyes as they shift down to my lips. “aww fuck it” he exclaims as his lips capture mine. His arms wrap around my waits as my hands get lost in his soft midnight hair. After a while he pulls away and a small whimper is released from my mouth. “Do you know HOW long I've wanted to do that” he exclaims excitedly with a smile plastered across his face.

After that night Jungkook never left my side, everything I craved he got, Anytime I felt nauseous Jungkook was there.  It became routine with him his calls became more frequent on days he knew I had appointments and he went to every ultrasound. His excitement for my baby was shown one day when I came home from work and my whole apartment was filled top to bottom with diapers bottles and wipes. Jungkook was still too nervous to buy much because he felt he was taking part of the experience from me and the fact that we still don’t know what the baby is yet. As the date rolls around to the appointment it's all Jungkook can talk about. He wants a girl every five seconds he reminds me it's always “Baby do you think the princess will like me? I mean I want her to know I care and that I love you” which is why he was so heartbroken when he could not make it to the gender reveal appointment because of a last-minute practice session. “Please promise to call me right after you find out okay baby?” He begs sadly before he left for the morning.  

After the appointment my heart swelled with joy as I turned into my driveway to see Jungkook's car sitting there. As soon as I unlocked the door, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist and feel kisses peppered up my neck “Hey, Baby how did your appointment go? How are you feeling?” he says in-between kisses. A blush creeps up onto my face “Yeah, it went great baby is a growing good and healthy, so I have to tell you something” I state biting my bottom lip and looking toward the ground.

“Oh god what's wrong? Is our princess okay?” his use of the word our makes my heart skip a beat “OUR? And the baby is fine....” I look at him pointedly and his hand runs through his hair as his face turns beet red as he slowly stutters out “I mean....um... I'm sorry I didn’t mean to just assume that you wanted me involved but it's so hard not to be when I'm so in love with you that I don’t care if I wasn’t the one that got you pregnant that’s my baby and you’re my girl so yeah our.... so, what is you have to tell me?” I kiss him softly at his words. I beam at him “You're literally so amazing I can't believe you would even consider any of this I know it's a lot to ask for someone to be involved with someone who is pregnant and all I appreciate it baby BUT unfortunately it's not a princess we got blessed with, handsome” as I put his hand on my stomach and his face twists into confusion “what do you-WAIT! IT’S A BOY? FORREAL? IT’S A BOY?” the smile cannot be contained on his face as he comes to the realization.

"Yes, it’s a boy” I state as Jungkook lifts and twirls me around I laugh.

Jungkook happily exclaims “Oh my god, I'm gonna have a son.” Jungkook drops to his knees and places his hand on my stomach and softly speaks “Hey handsome, its daddy, no I'm not your real daddy baby but I'm going to love you and your mommy like I am. I can't imagine a world without you I can't wait to meet you”

I stand there smiling knowing.......Jungkook won’t ever leave me alone  

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hey, dear anon who sent the latest two promptis stories?

You know, the one I was rude to...

You don’t- have to read this if you don’t want, but I’ll drop it here anyway.

I know I said it already and I’m just being repetitive, but I’m truly, sincerely sorry, so sorry, you don’t have an idea.

It was an emotional collapse, I’m very stressed and that night I was overthinking, dealing with some anxiety, there were news on TV about a surgery gone wrong and the patient dying, my family’s running super low on money and surgery isn’t going to be cheap, I was told that the longer I live with this thing inside me the more chances it will mutate to something else that will kill me in a horrible way, school was terrible, and my mommy’s aging so fast because of me and I couldn’t help it and collapsed like I hadn’t done in literal years..

This year a friend who had a crush on me died and I didn’t even visit him in hospital to at least make his last days happier, one side of my family is getting teared to pieces, and now all of this and it’s not even half a year into 2018 and I let it all bottle inside and of course it exploded.

I don’t even remember what I wrote, that’s how lost in panic I was, I just remember it was about telling you to not send stories in when I’m feeling bad, but I do remember I was rude and crude. But I didn’t mean that, I didn’t mean any single bit of that. I was collapsed, I was in panic, I felt I was literally about to die, of course I didn’t mean any of what I said.

I love your stories and I would never ask you to stop sending them. What I meant back on monday was that it wasn’t the appropriate time for it, but even that is a lie; you were sending them to cheer me up, not for your own selfish reasons. The only selfish one here was me, and I’m profoundly sorry.

It truly pains me more than you know to know I hurt you. I’d rather receive all the anon hate on Tumblr than insult someone like you, so sweet and creative, and as selfless as to send me stories to cheer me up because I needed it. Shit, fuck, I’m a terrible idiot and a monster; you were giving me your trust and confidence and love and creativity and all I did was to spit in your face and kick you and toss you around. I didnt insult you, I insulted your intentions and kind heart, and that’s even more terriblee. Because that’s the core of you.

I don’t remember my post to be as horrible, but it feels like that to me, and I’m sorry if it feelsl ike I’m exaggerating, but I can’t take something like this so lightly; I can’t take the fact that I broke someone’s trust and confidence and broke them like it’s nothing. 

Fuck, it’s like that one story with Gladio beating Ignis up thinking he was Ardyn, but worse, because at least Gladio thought that was Ardyn, but I knew it was YOU, and I hit you anyway. 

I don’t have the right or the face to ask you to forgive me, I can’t just beat you up and spit in your face, then expect you to get over it and start joking again. The selfish side of me desperately needs your forgiveness, but I won’t force you to it; I hurt you and you’re in all rights to not forgive me, and do as you please. I want you to understand that I didn’t mean it, to say you understand, then continue sending stories in, because I agonizingly adore that, but you don’t have to do it and I’d absolutely understand and support it.

You’re free to stop sending stories in. And to not message me, and to unfollow me. Anything so long it helps heal yourself, anything so you’re alright. There’s nothing I wish more but for you not to, because you’re a ray of sunshine in my inbox even without an anon name, and the idea of having broken someone’s bond of trust towards me, it tears me apart from the core of my heart and pierces into it, I cannot stand or tolerate the idea, I can’t stand the idea of having done something as terrible. But if I did it, I can’t just force it back. I broke your trust and it pains me, but that won’t fix it, and you’re free to do as you want so you’re happy. 

Just know that; that it truly pains me so much that I did what I did. I feel like I’m losing an intimate friend in the worst way ever, by pushing them aside myself. I didn’t mean to. The last thing I’ve ever wanted is to harm someone, especially in their trust/confidence, but here I am allowing an emotional collapse to do it anyway.

And the worst part is that I don’t even know if you’re reading this or not, or how to contact you, or who you are. I just know I love your presence, see you as a buddy, and now I hurt you. 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so terribly sorry. Is there a way so say it enough? Some way you’d want me to say it, show it? I had drawn you a raccoonie with a leaf to say sorry, but I don’t think you’d like it...

Gods, this wasn’t supposed to turn out this long. I’m just so terribly sorry and don’t know how to say it, or when it’s enough. I’m horrible, horrible at handling guilt, and right now guilt is what I feel the most, above sadness or fear. It’s eating me from the inside, mining me. 

If you’re still around, just know that I’m sorry. You’re not forced to do or say anything. Just know that you’re incredible, amazing, kindhearted, a beautiful presence. That I’ll miss it if you go, but you’re not forced to stay. Know that you’re not a bother to anyone, never. It was never you. It was me and my stupid collapse. Me and my selfishness. Me, saying bullshit and lies that aimed to hurt, and now I’m living with the guilt of it. 

Just know that I’m sorry, my dearest anon, and that I don’t know how to say it enough.

[jeonghanniesfool]

Minghao: Prompts 83 & 8

Prompts: “What do you mean I’m not your bias?” and “Keep your eyes on me.”

Drabble game prompts open! Shoot me a request ;D 

Genre: Fluff

Requested by: @xumingshua

you had known about Seventeen for about 2 years before you met Xu Minghao

you weren’t an avid stan

only knew a few members

only knew about the group because your friend loved to gush about them 24/7

she had forced you to listen to a few of their songs

and made you choose a bias based on the few you’ve seen

of course you only did all these things to appease her

you didn’t really have an interest in the group

you didn’t like being that obsessed with a group, for you wanted to concentrate on your studies

you moved to Korea through a study abroad program

and you rented an apartment in Seoul 

you dabbled a bit in Korean as your best friend had forced you to learn from here

she was Korean

and you were grateful for that

it wasn’t that difficult to navigate around the area

you knew enough to get by

to speak

to communicate

not enough to deliver some fancy speech in your literature class

it was late one day and you hadn’t had your meal yet

so you decided to go to the nearest convenience store

in your dark hoodie

hands stuffed in your pockets

hood on snugly

you just wanted to go in, grab some instant ramen, and leave as quickly as possible

as you sped down the instant ramen aisle

you found that a small group of tall boys crowded around the brand of ramen you were searching for

arguing over which ones to take

and how many to take

“aiiisssshhhhhhh. can you guys hurry? I have an exam to study for”

you didn’t mean to come off like that

you were going to ask nicely

but your hunger and stress took over

the boys looked over at you in shock

one of them quickly spoke

“we’re so sorry for taking so long”

you noticed that he spoke with an accent

he didn’t sound natively Korean

they all had masks on

which

kind of freaked you out for a moment

but then you realized you were in Korea

you watched as they hurriedly grabbed armfuls of ramen from the shelves

and hurried to the register

bowing to you as they went

the boy that spoke to you and apologized 

stopped again to apologize 

“we really are sorry”

“oh no it’s fine”

and he hurried off after the others

you walked over to the ramen shelves to see what they had left behind for you to take

fortunately your favorite type of instant ramen was still there

or you’d be FIGHTING someone

and then you noticed that one of them had left their phone on the shelves

you grabbed it and hurried over to the counter

but they had already left

you paid quickly

rushed outside 

and saw the group walking down quite a ways ahead of you

stuffing the phone into your pocket and clutching your bag of ramen, you sprinted after them

“HEY HEY HEY”

they turned around and looked shocked

they looked ready to run away as fast as they could

“oh no did she recognize us?”

“what do we do what do we do”

“someone call the bodyguards”

“MINGHAO DID YOU SAY SOMETHING TO HER?”

“I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING”

you waved the phone in the air

“WAIT ONE OF YOU FORGOT YOUR PHONE”

you finally caught up to them

and you watched as they all checked their pockets in panic

“oh it’s mine”

the boy who spoke to you 

you handed him his phone

and he thanked you profusely

“goshdangit Minghao” one of the boys said, whacking his back “so careless”

“sorry sorry”

Minghao turned to you

“i’m sorry for causing you so much trouble tonight, miss”

“it’s alright really”

one of the other boys jumped in

“hey, miss, are you from overseas? you have an accent”

“yeah and so does your friend”

“I’m from China” Minghao said helpfully

why was a Chinese boy over in Korea with a bunch of Korean boys for?

“are you doing a study abroad program too?”

Minghao looked confused

“what’s a... study abroad program?” 

he repeated your words slowly, messing up the pronunciation

you watched as the other boys explained it to him

oh so he probably wasn’t

the first thing the program taught you was how to say “study abroad program” in Korean so that others would know why you were

“oh so you don’t know who we are”

“who are you then”

“i suppose we owe you an explanation”

“minghao give her your number”

“so we’re just going to trust a random girl off the streets”

“shush don’t be rude”

...so somehow you got Minghao’s number

...

but his friends failed to consider that maybe both of your Korean wasn’t the best

so texting was extremely difficult

he didn’t understand what you asked him

and you didn’t understand him either

so you never really got to figure out who they were

you and Minghao because pretty close friends though

as you always had to meet in person to speak and do charades for the other to understand

you didn’t understand why he always looked so cautious outside

and why he wore a mask

but it didn’t really matter to you

you fell in love with him easily

what was there not to love?

but you weren’t going to tell him about your growing affections for him

there was still so much the two of you didn’t know about each other

the things you couldn’t communicate

...

alongside that

your best friend, who you still talk to of course, had been continuing to bug you about seventeen 

she spammed you with images and videos of some members

she knew how you felt toward Minghao

although you simply referred to him as MH to her

and she knew that you thought you had unrequited love

so she thought the best way to get over it

was to fall in love with one of her beloved kpop boys

and so

you succumbed to your friend’s wishes

and picked out

Wen Junhui 

as your bias

he was amazingly attractive

Chinese

and his voice was absolutely amazing

have you heard how amazingly he sang to Lilili Yabbay on Ask in a Box??

you watched nothing but clips of just Wen Junhui

you were interested in the boy 

more so than the group

one day when you were out with Minghao getting coffee

shameless self promo for my Minghao barista AU

you had left your phone on the table to go get in line for coffee

the shop was so crowded you forced Minghao to find a spot and stay there

when you returned with your drinks

you found him sitting there on the single chair

you set the drinks on the table

and easily slung your arm over his shoulder and plopped yourself in his lap

nestling your head in the crook of his neck

you reached to grab your drink

when Minghao shoved your phone in your face

“what is this?

“I can’t see it, Minghao-- oh”

the smiling face of Wen Junhui shone off your lock screen

“do you know who this is??” Minghao asked waving your phone

“uh duh. why else would he my lock screen, Hao?” 

you were laughing, not seeing what the problem was

“you know who Seventeen is?”

Minghao was so close to your face you could feel your cheeks heating up

“...yes that’s where Jun on my lockscreen is from. what has gotten into you, Minghao?”

“is he your Seventeen bias?”

“yeah he is. OH WAIT IS THIS WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT?”

he held his breath

“IS JUN YOUR BIAS TOO? ARE YOU JEALOUS THAT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH?”

“...am I not your bias?”

“Of course not you aren’t my bias. Minghao, you aren’t even--”

he shoved a picture of Seventeen in your face

and pointed at one of the members

you squinted at the screen

“MINGHAO? WTH WHY DO YOU LOOK SO GOOD? YOU’RE IN SEVENTEEN??”

“SEE? WHY IS JUN YOUR BIAS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM NOT YOUR BIAS?”

note: you two were shout whispering this

Minghao started it

and you followed

but it was good you did

otherwise reporters would be on y’all in an instant

“I DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU WERE IN SEVENTEEN”

“HOW COULD YOU NOT”

“IF I KNEW, YOU WOULDVE BEEN MY BIAS I SWEAR. JUN WAS ONLY TO DISTRACT ME FROM REMEMBERING THAT YOU DIDNT LIKE ME BACK---”

the both of you froze

shoot

you scrambled off of him to leave the shop

but he ran after you

outside, he caught up to you easily, grabbing your hand and holding it gently

“who said I didn’t like you back, Y/N?”

“huh?”

“i like you” 

he leaned forward and captured your lips in a gentle kiss

when he pulled away

you were so flustered, you felt as if you were clamming up

“wha- wait- wha-”

“so now that you know I’m in Seventeen, am I your bias?”

you quickly regained your composure

and gave him a flirty wink

“I don’t know, Minghao, Jun really is good looking”

Minghao kissed you again

“hey, from now on, keep your eyes on me. Even if i’m not your bias, you must watch me as your boyfriend”

“since when were you my boyfriend?”

“since now, Y/N”

HAHAHAHA I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS ONE. Me 99% of the time. This was a lot longer than I expected it to be WHOOPS ah well. I hope you guys enjoy this, especially you my lovely requester.

Minghao has been getting A LOT of love on my page XD Literally I got like 3 Minghao requests in a row!! 

But my inbox is cleared out now. Feel free to fill it back up again!

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Hiatus Update

and the continued pained ramblings of the increasingly emotionally unstable Bananna 

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted in earnest and I while I’m sorry, that’s probably not going to change. Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things, but I’m sad and tired and need a place to rant so I’ll do it on here bc to tell someone personally makes them feel obligated to offer comfort and advice. I don’t think that’s fair bc we both know that your words of comfort are sweet but I’d feel as though you said them because you felt you had to and not because you meant them. Not only that but I’d probably ignore your advice and return in a month bemoaning the same problem and, honestly, you don’t have time for that. 

Regardless, the reason for my sudden hiatus is because I spend about an hour and a half to two hours a day writing. That’s two hours with which I could be studying or working on scholarships. And I know it’s ridiculous to think that I should devote all my time to doing those things but my family is incredibly annoyed by this because, in recent years, I’ve been struggling to hold my attention span. I can’t study. I can’t read. I can’t even sit still long enough to watch a movie. I thought maybe I had ADD or ADHD but I think I’m just looking for justification. People really struggle with those things and I’m just here looking for an excuse. 

Because of that, my parents are always passive-aggressively shitting on my work. They say it’s because they never get to read any of it but as a closeted bi girl, the few pieces they’ve seen have sparked vehement disapproval and I’m afraid that showing them anything more would expose me.

I’m constantly in trouble at home bc of grades and scholarships. That being said, i’m an all a honor role student. Even that isn’t enough for them. Now that I’ve set this precedent of being good at school work, I receive no validation and am prone to panic and anxiety attacks when I don’t do well. Recently, i went from a 96 in calculus to an 87 and it scared the life out of me bc the teacher wasn’t there to teach the concept that week and I wasn’t doing as well as I usually did. My friend berated me for complaing bc that was more than she could ever accomplish and I was so mad bc that’s a 10 pt drop in my grade average. As someone who’s family raised them to believe that my smarts were my only redeeming quality I just couldn’t take it. 

On top of that, my grades tend to be lower a’s (buoyed up by the fact that I take all AP classes which adds to my GPA). Everytime my mom drives me past my school she talks about how much better I’d do if I tried. And I’ve told her that I do. I really do. With what little attention span I have, i study and I work as hard as I can and this is it. This is the best I can do. And then she just looks so tired and disappointed and tells me about all my wasted potential THAT I LITERALLY DON’T FUCKING HAVE. I really wish it was just her. My teachers tell me I could do so much more. I can’t. I really really fucking can not. This is it. This is peak performance. Sorry to disappoint you person #12812 but you’re quite obviously not the first nor will you be the last 

As for scholarships, they tend to be need-based. My family is too rich to qualify but too poor to send me. The ones that aren’t have certain criteria and no matter how hard I work, I’m just never good enough. Not for the scholarship, not for my friends, not for my family, not for anyone. Except y’all.

I feel so under-appreciated for a lot of things. When I do well on a test everyone just says, of course you did you’re smart. FUCK YOU I WORKED MY ASS OF TO MAKE THAT 91 Sure maybe you studied too and didnt do as well but you also go out and have a social life. I live on my computer. I can’t even drive. Sure, i could express my feelings to my friends and I know they’d validate me but it always feels like an over-exaggeration to overcompensate for the love I don’t get at home or the appreciation i don’t get from others. I volunteer for an organization that works with the special ed department in our school. Essentially, I just go and hang out with the kids and I love it so much. What I don’t love is when I do completely normal things for the kids and the teachers and the adults immediately respond with how sweet I am. I am not sweet. I’m literally the meanest person I know. My family tells me so all the time and after evaluating my interactions with a lot of other ppl, i’m inclinded to believe them. 

Regardless, y writing on here and Ao3 are the only source of validation I receive without asking for. They feel genuine and they’re the only thing I think means anything. It isn’t a judge of anything other than my own hard work and devotion. The things I write aren’t that good, trust me I’m fully aware, but to see the 11 notes I get on my fem!andreil means more to me than anything in the world. I love them so much and I love y’all for supporting them.

Recently an anon sent me a message about how much they love my fem!andreil and, if you’re reading this, thank you so much. You’re ask now lives in my inbox permanently as the only proof that anything I’ve ever done matters. I’m currently working on a valentines day prompt but with the way things are going it won’t be out until valentine’s day is long gone and once more I’m sorry. 

This blog is the only thing left that I love and the fact that I can’t even keep up with it is the most painful thing in my life. I really do love to write. I’ll never be any good at it but it’s all I have left. I’m not asking for your pity but rather your understanding. Thank you to anyone who’s ever supported my fem!andreil in any way, shape, or form. I owe you my life. Again, original content won’t go up often because I’m incapable of balancing people’s expecatations with the things I care about but I’m trying, I swear.

[karmaepx19500930-blog]

mandingo porn - What The Experts Aren't Saying About Mandingo Porn And How It Affects You

Skimming through all the replies was tiring but I sent a reply to a few. I wasnt looking for anything in particular but I posted a personals ad looking for friends. His response was short but sweet. I met him off Craigslist. ding My inbox chimed as I received notification of a new email. I was bored and I needed entertainment. I know what its like to work the hours that you do and how hard it can be for you to meet someone to connect with.

- A" I felt a genuine vibe from the message so I responded back in a positive and upbeat manner. By no means am I a prude but I wasnt looking for anything more than friends. You seem like a cool guy. Tell me something about you. I hope you give me a chance, you wont regret it. Ive probably scanned over 50 some emails hoping there was someone who wasnt so forthcoming with their body parts or with their vulgar language. - W" I clicked send without another thought. "Hey, I saw you post and I promise I read the whole thing and I can definitely say most of it is also true for myself. Looking forward to hearing from ya! I swear I wasnt a lame person but sometimes its nice to get a little attention. I just wanted someone to talk to. I continued my sad night of browsing the internet hopelessly. Im a down to earth guy whos just looking to meet new friends as well. Maybe animal voiceovers would make my night a little better. I sighed but resigned to clicking the notice anyways. It was the same guy from before. Mind if we switch to texting? I havent had much luck so I thought to myself, what the hell lets go for it. Im trying something new and this kind of excites me and scares me at the same time. If you dont text me, Ill understand. I wasnt going to think too deeply into it. "I didnt think youd respond knowing how many guys you had to filter through to get to mine. Id like to get to know you. No expectations, no sexual acts, just simple or deep talks but clean fun. Not even 15 minutes later, I received another email notification. - A" He seemed too good to be true so I did the most sensible think I could think of: I sent him a text message. Right away, I told him I wasnt looking for anything sexual and he completely understood. He asked me if it would be crazy if we were to meet up tonight. He told me he missed a girl to shoot the shit with and be comfortable talking about anything with. " Hey, I found your email refreshing and genuine. He was literally the guy friend I was waiting for all my life. There are tons of creeps out there and I could be one of them. I looked at the time 10:30pm. It was late but I was in the mood of YOLO so I said yes and asked where to. I started to panic a little bit. We texted back and forth about our intentions, our favourite food, the hottest models. I opted for something casual: black jeans with a button down green and red accented plaid shirt. I got ready not knowing where we would end up. Promptly at 11:15pm, I received a text notifying me that he was here. I wore black combat boots to match the outfit. Not something that screamed lesbian but enough that he knew I was only in it for fun. I stepped out of house and I saw his car idling patiently as I locked softcore sex streaming the door. I hopped into his car with little hesitation. I didnt want to be judged for my methods of meeting people. I just thought it would be better this way. He was a short guy from the looks of it. "Hey yourself", he replied with a smile. I know its kinda crazy that Im giving out my number to a complete stranger but Im in the mood of " why the fuck not". He told he would pick me up in 45 minutes. He took off down the street and we started mandingo porn a light conversation. I grabbed my coat at headed out. Dark shirt and pants followed for the rest of his outfit. His face was shrouded in the darkness of the car and the night sky. He had soft features, plump lips, a strong jaw with no facial hair, his eyes were honey coloured, I found out later. Our conversation progressed fairly easily, moving from topic to topic. He didnt seem like the big ass latina porn other guys. We were completely honest with one another, or at least I was. Somehow along the way, he brought up sex related topics. I told my roommate I was headed out but didnt tell her with who. Even though he was a stranger I had just met off the internet not even 2 hours ago, I felt at ease with him. He was in a leather jacket, well worn but seemingly of good quality. I saw him glance at me a few times and I asked what was on his mind. Guys are interested in lesbian sex and all the fixings so I was willing to humour him for this evening. Spanish decent with short black hair, combed over one side. I laughed knowing that most men who have seen me in low cut shirts thought the same. strike one I waited for his response, tongue in cheek. I didnt want to give off that vibe but it just came out. "I couldn’t help but notice you have pretty big breasts", he said cheekily. Personally, I dont mind. I found conversation easy and fun. I saw out of the corner of my eye his eyes widened. I dont think he was expecting such a strong response. I considered telling him off for a split second but instead I accepted his challenge. I could see him get fidgety in the drivers seat as I continued. I got glimpses of him as we passed under street lamps. "I dare you to flash someone as we drive by. I looked down and saw my one button popping open, that little shitty one that sits in between your ladies and always refuses to stay closed. When I finished, my D breasts were exposed cupped securely in my Victoria Secret silky bra. His hand reached from its spot on the steering wheel to my bra clad chest. I slowly begun unbuttoning my shirt. I nodded and shot him a smile. It was big and one breast fit in his palm so nicely. My body felt the chill as soon as my nipple touched the cold air in his car. Something about the thrill and adrenaline rush got me going. He was visibly getting distracted and I was loving it. He caressed me with such gentleness and although this wasnt what I came here to find, I was enjoying his hands on me. He took my left hand and placed it on his crotch area. I joked that they wanted to come out and play too. I dont know what came over me but I let him. Slowly, I rubbed him through the denim fabric. ", he responded boldly. He turned into a neighbourhood and parked at a local baseball diamond that looked out onto the river. I could feel how hard he was in those tight pants. We got out of the car to stretch our legs and kind of cool things down a little bit. I held my jacket closed as my shirt was still unbuttoned. I could feel him struggling to keep his composure. It was late fall and the leaves had fallen all about the cement lot. He was getting more daring as he slipped a thumb under my bra and out popped by nipple as he raised the material. I then asked if this was where he brought girls at night to have his way with them. I had to admit, the view was really nice, overlooking the river and the lights from downtown reflected in the water. It was dark in the park except for the city buildings across the water and the moonlight shining down on us. God Damn, he whispered under his breath. I commented on how I had never been to this area of town before. We had been driving aimlessly around the city for the last hour and a half talking. His arms were strong, broad shoulders, muscular. We stopped in the middle of the baseball diamond and stood in silence. Naturally, it stood erect and soon he was rolling my hard nub between his thumb and forefinger. We jumped the wooden barrier from the parking lot to the grassy area. I could feel him grinding his hard member into my ass while his hands wandered up my body. I had my back to him as he slipped his arms around my waist. I exposed my neck as I tilted my head back resting on his shoulder. It wasnt really HIM that was doing it for me. He brought his body close to mine. He took the opportunity to place a kiss there. The combination of everything had my body in a sensory delight. strike two He laughed saying that this was where he comes to clear his head. This prompted him to kiss me in a more hungry manner. This situation had me turned on. His breathing was getting heavy right in my ear. I felt his finger dip into the folds of my pussy, slick with arousal. " I reached back and undid his belt buckle and jeans in a swift motion. My body started moving on its own accord, grinding against his crotch in sync with his movements. It felt thick and very hard. His hand found a way past the barrier of my jeans and was slowly descending towards my mound. I felt his hard cock through his silk boxers. He inhaled sharply and groaned as he exhaled followed by the words, "Fuck, youre so wet. I let out a soft moan. I began rubbing him on the outside of the material. Not too big and just the right size. I could feel a wet spot where his tip was leaking pre-cum. I found that to be super fucking hot and I felt my wetness starting to spread. He replaced his hand back into my pants, rubbing my clit with my own wetness. I was afraid the cold would cause him to lose his hardness but I was wrong. I needed to touch him, skin to skin. I exposed him to the night air as I pulled him out of his boxers. I rubbed the tip of his cock in a circular motion on my palm and proceeded to stroke him with a pre-cum lubed hand. He inserted two mandingo porn fingers into me and I gasped at the intrusion. His moans were super sexy and his breathing was heavy. I continued to stroke him more vigorously as he pounded his fingers in my wet hole. My breasts were being pinched and squeezed as we stood face to face, masturbating each other in the field. I stood on one leg as he raised my other as he finger fucked me. It felt so wrong but it felt so good all at the same time. strike three He got the message. He took over jerking himself quickly towards an orgasm. Even in the darkness, you could see the lust in my eyes. I threw an arm behind his neck and broad shoulders to keep a hold of my balance. I turned around to face him, cock still in hand. It was the same lust I was feeling between my legs. where do you want it", he said breathily. He began thrusting in my hand as I rocked my hips against his fingers. He looked down at me as I stared up at him with greedy eyes. He offered to find something in his car to clean up the mess but I politely declined. I told him Id ride home with it all over myself. He moaned such a sexy lustful moan and I felt it in my throbbing pussy. In response, I knelt down, exposed my breasts, pushing them together for a mandingo porn star like view. Without another word, I stood up and placed my bra back in place and closed up my shirt. I rubbed the sticky mess all over my breasts, making sure to cover each erect nipple with his cum. His legs almost gave out as he emptied himself all over my chest. With that look, he exploded his creamy load all over my luscious tits. He dick jumped at my words but he decided to put it away for next time.