#only been able to do a couple stunts cause of that but are always super fun

[livfastdieyoung69]

can’t stop thinking ab johnny knoxville having a sibling thats a wrestler, like ecw star that later goes to wwe, and it’s just a running joke that the combination of their two very lovely parents somehow made the most terrible, violence seeking children possible

[aloeverified]

i’m curious do u have any headcanons abt wayne and raj… they are the characters ever

yes 💪

their fullnames are raj kapoor & wayne graham (the most candian name ever for the most candian character ever).

wayne was always way taller than raj growing up, but now they're roughly around the same height. it's just not obvious to most people since wayne wears boots and raj sticks with his trusty converse. raj is just pushing 5'10 and wayne's a little over 5'11.

raj has two younger siblings who are twin brother and sister and are much younger than he is. wayne is an only child, but their families are so intertwined that they basically consider him their older brother too.

they're juniors in high school (assuming that's how it works in canada, too lazy to google it rn) and are about seventeen. they don't look or act super young, but they still got the "when i'm older" type of vibe that most people who are right about to graduate don't really have.

they've been best friends for a while, but not quite childhood best friends. i think they met during gym class of sixth grade and just instantly hit it off due to their shared interests in sports and humor.

raj's parents are first generation immigrants so they're not completely fluent in english and have a bit of an accent when they talk. since his moms raised him to be the most highly of gentlemen, wayne asked raj to teach him a bit of telugu so he could make polite conversation with them whenever he came over without all the pressure being on them. that was his first step to almost being immediately adopted by them.

this actually caused them to both realize they really enjoy studying languages. they continued studying telugu together, with raj tutoring wayne. wayne also decided to take up french classes early, and raj had his parents sign him up to learn the basics of other southern indian languages they knew. they both view this as a helpful skill for when they're international hockey stars, of course.

they live in a decently smaller-sized town, so despite not being neighbors, they still find a way to be at each other's house every other day. they switch off depending on what they're feeling, and their parents learned to accept that they're a package deal that comes and goes whenever they please.

since his parents discovered he was gay through the show rather than raj actually coming out to him, they — along with wayne's moms — thought it would be funny to turn his coming home party from the show into a coming out party as well. raj realized this when he cut into the cake and it was rainbow inside.

his family was very adamant about showing raj how supportive they are. he wasn't sure why, as their best friends were a lesbian couple and his best friend was the son of said couple, but they still repeatedly told him how proud of him they were and how much they loved him. the only pushback he received was his nani complaining about how he wasn't allowed to date until he was thirty and that this bowie boy was ruining that.

teacher hate these two. they never shut up in class, will ditch their assigned partners to work with each other, never get their work done, and yet still manage to have good grades (because they know they won't be able to play otherwise). no one understands how they do it.

they always have the most over-the-top cartoony outfits for spirit weeks. even the asb and student council kids find it embarrassing how much school spirit they have.

besides their accidental menace behavior, they never actually get into any real trouble at school. the only time they've ever gotten suspended was when wayne wanted to test his new padding gear and rammed himself into the lockers at full force and nearly killed himself while raj recorded.

because of their ridiculous stunts they like to post, wayne has a bit of a following on social media. he doesn't really do it to be an influencer or for attention or anything, he just likes being able to look back on all the fun moments he and rajie have together. that's one of the reasons they were so eager to be on total drama, to showcase their awesome friendship and have the tapes of all their fun challenges together.

they work part-time at the local ice rink, where they were able to land jobs due to their skills on the ice. they even work the same shift most of the time since they have the same availability hours, although they switch off between standing behind the counter and supervising on the ice. sometimes they both get to help out with the little league hockey teams, though, which they both really enjoy.

[sophieswundergarten]

DOES SOMEONE WANT TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT OXYTOCIN????

Because, because, because, the thing is that part of why orphanages were considered Not Great was that there were too many kids and not enough people to love them. There are records of some infants actually dying from what is believed to be lack of physical contact. If a baby isn't held it can stunt their growth, make them loose weight, cause attachment issues/certain kinds of mental struggles, and a whole lot of other things.

Now, oxytocin.

Oxytocin is often called the "love" or "cuddle" hormone, and it reduces blood pressure and production of stress hormones. Its levels are raised by physical closeness with other people. Like hugs.

Hugs are super important to mental and physical health. Now, I understood this factually, but I have also had a chance to experience it in real life! (Yay /s)

So, when I'm at school, I'm there for most of the week. I'm lucky enough to attend a university close enough to where my family lives that I get to visit them a lot. But, when I'm actually attending classes and stuff at school, I have no physical contact with anyone at all. Barring the occasional handshake, I don't touch anybody. Ever. And it actually messes me up so bad.

If people aren't being hugged enough, it raises blood pressure, it makes them more stressed, it worsens mental health, and it's even thought to lower the immune system. Isolation and lack of human contact has been shown to increase thoughts of death and mortality, and sometimes make the person doubt their own existence.

It has been said that humans need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth.

This is why solitary confinement and total isolation is a big deal. It can actually destroy people

Now, you may be wondering, "Sophie? Why are you talking about hormones and death and stuff? Aren't you a goofy MBS blogger?" And to that I say, "We're almost there"

So, the thing you need to learn from all this is that basically, lack of human contact is bad. It makes your brain messed up, and it can make your body messed up. Hugs are super important.

Now. How often do you think the kids were hugged pre-canon?

How often do you think Reynie got actually positive touch from another human being? How many years passed as he grew up not having loving contact with anyone at all, until Miss Perumal showed up? How much more do you think he savoured her hugs when he only received a few precious seconds of touch every day or so?

How hard do you think it was for Sticky to go from getting a couple empty handshakes, one or two claps on the back every few weeks when he did a competition, to nothing. Nothing at all as he snuck away in the middle of the night, hiding away and pretending to be nobody worth noticing. Even though I'd bet he barely got any hugs in the first place, it would still be a shock. How often do you think he felt like a ghost, half convinced he didn't exist anymore as he crept through the streets and watched people's eyes slife right off of him?

How jarring would it have been for Kate to go from her multitudinous, ever-shifting circus family to the emptiness of her journey to Stonetown? She worked so hard to fill the void left in her from her father leaving, and then she gave it all up, maybe because she wanted to be the one who left this time. Maybe that's why she's always the one leaning on the others, playfully punching the boys, volunteering to carry Constance, anything really to be able to touch someone. And after all that whiplash, how hard would it have been for her to regulate after she got Milligan back and couldn't decide if she never wanted him to let go of her or if she never wanted to touch him again?

Did anyone hold Constance when she was little? She's know for being a trouble maker and a biter at a very young age, and was that because she didn't trust anyone who tried to touch her? Did she know, even at such a young age, that there were too many people who couldn't be trusted in her world? And, after she ran away, hiding in the library and staying out of sight, how many months did she go without hearing a single word from another human? How frightening was it for her to break through all of those years, most of her life at this point, of learned anger and defensiveness? How long did it take for her to truly believe she could trust Mr. Benedict, to let her guard down and accept affection from him?

[blu-joons]

DATING SEVENTEEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Yoon Jeonghan

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

Affection from Jeonghan will usually come in the form of a practical joke. He loves to mess around with you and wind you up, but once he’s finished pulling whatever stunt it is, he’ll always pull you into a hug to make sure that you’re not mad at him.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

The two of you had grown up together, you could never remember a time when Jeonghan wasn’t in your life. You gravitated towards each other from the moment that you met each other, his personality instantly drew you to him, and together, you soon struck up a very close friendship as you grew up alongside on another.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

As he began to grow up and learn more about love, Jeonghan realised that a lot of those feeling translated to you. When the two of you reached the point in your lives where you were beginning to find your own feet and walk down different paths, he knew that he couldn’t let you go too far down the path without him. His confession pulled you back when it began to feel like you were getting away from walking down his path too.

D ⇴ DATES 

When the two of you started dating, very little changed. You’d often get up to the same things that you did as kids, the arcade or the beach were two of your favourite places to go. Neither of you ever settled on a favourite thing to do, you were both open to trying just about anything with each other. You weren’t people who could just sit down and talk on dates, you loved to mess around and laugh, and often end up getting thrown out of somewhere too for making too much noise and causing too much chaos.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

You were the first for Jeonghan when it came to everything, as he was with you. The two of you had experienced so much together before you started dating, it only felt right that you experienced everything to do with love together too. Already knowing each other so well certainly helped the two of you transition into a romantic couple, you didn’t have to learn too much about each other which was a big bonus. And best of all, you were already a suitable fixture to support him when he was working or away on tour.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

Sometimes, knowing each other so well certainly caused a couple of arguments between the two of you. You both knew the perfect ways to push each other’s buttons and wind each other up, which would often lead to many petty squabbles between the two of you. You’d never argue over anything major, but if you came home to see Jeonghan hadn’t washed up, then you’d hit the roof. The best way to describe your relationship was like an old married couple, but you could guarantee that any time the two of you argued with each other, it made everyone else who was sat around with the two of you fall into hysterics of laughter.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

You were already a part of his family without needing to get to know them. Secretly, his family had always been rooting for the two of you, so when you arrived at their home one day and told them that the two of you were together, they struggled to act surprised when they always hoped deep down that it would come true.

H ⇴ HOME 

Having been around the boys since the very start, you’d always just been another part of the dorm. Neither of you were in any rush for Jeonghan to move out of the dorm, you slotted in perfectly, and the boys were always very respectful of your relationship too, so none of you ever had any complaints about the other.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

From a young age you’d always told each other that you loved each other, and so a romantic ‘I love you,’ never really happened. As you began dating, from friends, you still just continued to tell each other that you loved each other, only nowadays, it carried a bit more of a significant meaning then it did all those years ago.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

You’d been a part of Jeonghan’s life forever, so if someone dared tried to take his place, he wouldn’t be happy about it. His eyes will often let you know when he’s feeling jealous, as much as you usually love them, all of the colour, will drain from them when he’s feeling bitter towards someone else. He’s always been the one to take care of you, and you’ve always been the one to take care of him, so if anyone tried to get in the way of that, then you both will quickly put an end to it and gravitate back towards each other again.

K ⇴ KIDS 

The two of you always remembered how you joked in school about being mum and dad one day, that the thought of it becoming a reality almost felt too good to be true. You only ever saw your futures with each other, so naturally, you could only imagine having children with each other too. You’d often talk about all the old dreams that you had as children and imagine how many of them would eventually come true.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

He absolutely loved to pull pranks on you and mess around, being serious wasn’t something that Jeonghan liked to be. The two of you were the king and queen of practical jokes as far as you were both concerned and would often pull pranks on the other boys and wind them up too. Together you made quite a daunting team because of the trouble you caused, even the staff were often on their toes whenever the two of you were nearby. If you’d had a rough day, Jeonghan would listen to everything that you had to say, but it would be inevitable that he’d soon have you smiling once again and forgetting about it.

M ⇴ MISSING 

Being away from each other never felt like it got easier for the two of you. You’d spent long enough with Jeonghan travelling that you were used to time on your own, but that never meant that you were happy to be by yourself. What Jeonghan appreciated the most was how understanding you were, even if he wasn’t able to call you for a few days, you’d still eventually pick up the phone with a smile on your face and no complaints. He was good at controlling his emotions when he missed you, but he never got used to the feeling of not being able to see your face whenever he wanted to or hear your voice when he walked through the door.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

His nickname ‘angel,’ was a bandwagon that you definitely jumped onto. He loved when you called him ‘angel,’ having given it to himself anyway, he was super pleased when you caved and started using it too.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

Jeonghan is obsessed with your eyes, he can tell exactly how you’re feeling by the look in them after so many years being around each other.

P ⇴ PDA 

He doesn’t mind being affectionate in public too much, but he won’t make a big deal out of it either. He loves to prank the media and get yourselves headlines, and then laugh about it when he sees that a stupid photo of the two of you messing around each other has made its way onto one of the many popular news websites.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

When you tell him you’re fine, when you’re not, Jeonghan will refuse to let it go. He knows you far too well to know when you’re faking a smile. He’s a good listener and will sit by your side until you’ve told him absolutely everything.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

Over the many years you had together, the two of you collected a lot of things. As a result, Jeonghan loved to scrapbook, first your friendship, and then your relationship. The two of you would often sit down and look back over all the memories you had together, most of them you’d often forget about. Old cinema tickets and arcade tickets filled most of the pages, from films from a few days ago, to ones from many years ago.

S ⇴ SEX 

Initially, intimacy was a big hurdle for the two of you, but you slowly managed to step over it. The two of you always felt like you knew everything about each other, but that was until it came to romance. You could only ever laugh about it at the start of your relationship, but as you began to get more comfortable being so close to each other, intimacy also became a lot easier, and more relaxed for you both too.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

The two of you were always talking to each other, you could never go too long without messaging each other. Your phones were glued to your hands when you were apart, you would always be texting one another.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Life for Jeonghan was not a thing without you in it. He could never remember a time when you weren’t there, but best of all, he loved having that one person there throughout his life who was by his side through it all.

V ⇴ VACATION 

The chance to explore the world together was something that you both adored. You’d never go to the same place twice, Jeonghan loved to be the one to travel with you and show you the world. The two of you loved adventuring together, your bucket lists were filled of places that you wanted to see together.

W ⇴ WHINING 

If someone dared tried to take your attention, Jeonghan wouldn’t be happy, you were always his as far as he was concerned.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

Whenever he pranked you or overstepped the line, Jeonghan would always kiss you by way of an apology. The two of you knew each other inside out, it wasn’t just the look in each other’s eyes that could tell a story, it was often your kisses too. The two of you could pick up on just about any emotion that the other was feeling by their kisses, whether you were happy or sad, the two of you would always fix or support any situation.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were his soulmate; you’d been there for him since day one.

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

Depending on how the two of you were feeling, falling asleep would vary. Sometimes you’d be the big spoon, other times Jeonghan would be, you were comfortable with each other regardless of how you slept.

---

Masterlist

[skeilig]

i saw that post about rabies again and i want to share some things i learned from the book “rabid: a cultural history of the world’s most diabolical virus” yes i typed all of this from memory with some minor fact checking but yeah disclaimer if anything is inaccurate 

rabies is a super super old virus! it’s been around for basically ever and had been identified by the unique symptom of hydrophobia (fear of water). someone suffering rabies will not be able to drink which causes them to salivate more and the virus spreads via the saliva in a bite wound or even small cracks in the skin. 

rabies was until relatively recently thought to be 100% fatal. it still pretty much is (elaboration later) by the time symptoms begin to develop. from the time of a bite, it usually takes weeks (even months) for the virus to travel to the brain. vaccination before the onset of symptoms is key!

rabies in humans does not really cause us to start biting people. we are “dead end” rabies hosts who do not spread the virus. you may remember from high school lit class that in the zora neale hurston book their eyes were watching god, the character tea cake was bit by a rabid dog and then attacked and bit janie. basically this does not happen with human rabies victims. 

HOWEVER, human rabies victims especially male ones can become hypersexual and have been known to ejaculate 30+ times per day. RIP.

dogs are a perfect rabies host since they produce a lot of drool and they do bite, and they live closely with humans, therefore being the most typical link to rabies in humans. 

the phrase “hair of the dog” (a hangover “remedy” in which you drink alcohol the next morning) comes from a folk rabies treatment in which dog hair is burned and the ashes applied to the bite wound

rabies was the direct inspiration for the zombies (called “vampires”) in the book “i am legend” (you might know the will smith movie) which established the modern horror zombie. 

the rabies vaccine was developed by louis pasteur in 1885. rabies was not a large cause of death at the time (it's always been relatively rare) but it’s a particularly terrifying one (if you had been bit you’d have to wait for a month to know if you had contracted rabies, and if you did it was a death sentence) so this was how pasteur chose to prove the merit of vaccines to the public, a pretty new concept, after he created the anthrax vaccine. it was sort of a publicity stunt. 

the first human recipient of the rabies vaccine was a french boy who had been bit by a dog. apparently he was delighted by all the animals he met in the lab while he stayed there for two weeks to receive daily shots. he survived and it took the world by storm! shortly after, a couple american kids were shipped over to france to retrieve the vaccine after they had been bit, and they also survived. 

if anyone wants to help crowdfund the louis pasteur rabies biopic that i am writing, hmu 

okay, let’s return to that asterisks about the fatality rate once symptoms onset. there have been cases of people who have survived after receiving a partial course of the vaccine by the time they developed symptoms, but there was never a known case of someone surviving without any intervention -- until the early 2000s when a girl from wisconsin survived after being put in a medically induced coma. this is called the milwaukee protocol and it’s actually debated whether or not it really is the cause of people surviving -- there’s now some evidence that some people might have a natural predisposition to survive -- since it’s only worked in about 30% of the cases it’s been tried on. 

one final fact for the road: one of the theories behind edgar allen poe’s mysterious death is rabies. 

[inkedtae]

golden gills ⇾ jjk. [M]

𝓅𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 ⇾ goldfish!hybrid jungkook x bratty!reader (f.)

𝑔𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒 ⇾ e2l, smut with a sprinkle of fluff and a waterfall of filth 

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 ⇾ Reader taunts Jungkook for being the new Teacher’s Assistant for her history class. She simply can’t stand a teacher’s pet. Jungkook can’t help but make her one. 

𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉 ⇾ 7k

𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ⇾ a shit ton of flith, hate-love sex, office sex, super bratty reader, thigh riding, hair pulling, spit play, pube play, panty sniffing, a tad bit of edging, oral (f. receiving), dom!jk, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), lots of spanking, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, pet names, a dash of puns here and there, lowkey crack, probs gonna need some (un)holy water.

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒 ⇾ extremely unedited. please do not leave hate towards me or any other readers. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work without my permission. currently on a kookie kick so get ready for some filthy (and occasionally fluffy) kookie content. if you have any request, please send them my way (i might consider another member). enjoy!

><> le playlist 

He strut into class, a little notebook clutched in his large hands. You couldn’t help but notice how his veins popped out. Was he flexing or was that just simply always the state of his hands. His sharp nails, tips tinged orange, dug into the leather binding of the notebook while he spoke with your professor. You glared at him from your seat at the front. He must’ve felt the heat of your gaze as he rubbed the nape of his, looking over at you. 

There, right there was the reason why you hate that man so much. That shit-eating smirk tugged on his pink lips, brownish-yellow eyes flickering between you and the professor. An annoyed sigh escaped you. He was too cocky for his own good. He may have radiated golden rays wherever he went. The yellowish-orange tint of his hair layered with strands of pink was undeniably eye-catching. You figured that if he was full fish and not just a hybrid, then that might be the colour of his scales. But, when that golden image was paired with his arrogant personality, you reminded yourself as your eyes bounced up and down his frame, he was insufferable.

Despite the golden hues of his species, Jungkook felt most comfortable in black. It was a trend you noticed immediately on him. His flowy, golden fin would stick out his shirt, lined along his spine, and tiny golden gills would rest in the hollows of his cheeks but he would only wear black. You hated how you knew that he only liked to wear loose fitted clothing because it looked great on him. It was all he wore so how could you not notice it, you tried to reason. That fact didn’t soothe your rage one bit, however, since it meant that you indirectly admitted to yourself that he always looked good. 

That man is dangerous, you thought to yourself before turning back to your notes. You didn’t have much to write just yet, but you weren’t going to waste your last moments before class staring at Jeon Jungkook. You opted for doodling, gently scratching your orange pen within the margins.

“How come whenever I walk in I always catch you staring?” He asked, sitting a couple of seats to your right. 

“Glaring,” you correct, not bothering to look up. 

He chuckles to himself, the breathy sound confusing your heart and stunting your rage for a minute. “You’re giving me your attention either way, hun,” he replied. “And I barely had to do a thing.”

You stopped mid-stroke, looking up at him with that same glare before your eyes scanned across the classroom. You noticed empty seats peppered between others who were lucky enough to enjoy some peace before the lesson began.  “There are other seats,” you muttered, turning back to your notebook. 

Jungkook leaned back in his chair, tossing his notebook down on the table with a light thud. “I like this one,” he sighed as he pulled out a black pen from his pants. “I can see everything from here, and everyone can see me.”

You furrowed your brows at his words. What a cocky little shit; always needing to be the center of attention. “You’re an idiot,” you hissed, making the mistake of looking up at him again. 

He met your annoyed gaze with a playful glint in his eyes. He had his tongue poking at his cheek, and a single brow raised as if asking if you truly meant that, as if warning you to try again. “Am I?” he challenged. “Or are you too busy concerned with me to realize how wrong that statement was?”

Your face scrunched with confusion as you tried your best to decipher his words.Why did he have to be so cryptic? Why couldn’t he just tell you what the hell he meant? Giving up, you were about to tell him how stupid he sounded when the professor began his lecture. 

He welcomed the class, introduced himself and went over the course syllabus before turning to look at Jungkook. “And, if you have any other questions, please feel free to contact me or my TA this semester, Jungkook.” He then gestured for Jungkook to stand. 

Fuck no. 

Your face fell as he rose from his seat. Before he could even catch a glimpse of your pure shock and devastation, you schooled your features and looked back towards your professor. It all began to click now, why he spoke with the professor before class and why he sat at the front. He even tried to warn you, in his own stupid, idiotic, cryptic way. Did you really insult your TA? He was going to be grading your work for the next four months. You wanted to believe Jungkook wasn’t a total asshole but with the way he taunted you with that look in his eyes before the lecture started gave you pause. 

Your face must’ve been revealing bits and pieces of your panic, despite your efforts, because you soon heard little breathy chuckles to your right. “Relax, hun. I won’t let it affect your final grade,” he whispered as the professor dived into his lecture. “This time.”

That little shit. 

You had written your essay two weeks prior to the due date, which is a lot coming from you since you’re more of a pull an all-nighter the night before kind of girl. You had researched thoroughly about the topic provided, giving your own analysis on the wars and political practises of the West. You even quoted Karl Marx a few times, and this little shit only just passed you? You had an average to maintain and you knew your paper was not merely worth a passing grade. You even had your best friend, Namjoon, read it over and approve of the analysis, citations and writing style. 

So the moment his office hours were available you made your way over. They were running during another one of your classes but fuck him if he thought you were going to let this slide. You weren’t sure what he was thinking but if this was all some power play, you were about to show him who the fuck was in charge. 

“Jeon, you motherfucker,” you huffed in a way of greeting as you walked into his office. 

Jungkook peeked up at you from his bowl, noodles hanging out of mouth. His eyes were a bit wider, cheeks puffed all too cutely as they were filled with food. He finished slurping his noodles as you shut the door. Though still completely furious, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop staring at his mouth. Something about those pouty, spice stained lips lit up your core and caused arousal to pool into your panties. 

You let out a shaky breath, seating yourself across his desk as he pushed his meal away, directing his full attention on you. He sat back in his seat, that stupid smirk over taking his features. 

“Yes?” He practically purred his response causing you to shift uncomfortably in your seat. 

You tossed your graded paper on his desk, eyes unforgivingly boring into his. “What the fuck is this?” You asked in a calmer voice, but the anger was still ponet in your tone. 

“You’re crappy paper I had the misfortune of reading,” he answered casually, like you just asked him about his day. 

The original fire in your eyes, you somehow were able to maintain since entering this office, dimmed into disappointment. Was it really that bad? But, you worked on it relentlessly. You had at least hoped it would pique his interest. Even Namjoon told you the approach you took was unique and well-thought out. For Jungkook to say it was a misfortune to read wasn’t just a shot at your grade but a blow to your intelligence, your pride. 

He must’ve noticed your change in demeanor as he sat up and sighed. He picked it up to look over it once again, but you ripped it out of his hand, crumpling it with, what you hated to recognize as, shame. “Don’t do me any favours, Jeon,” you all but warned through gritted teeth. “The grade speaks for itself. I can’t believe I thought someone as stupid as you would be able to understand something as layered and complex as this paper. The only thing crappy about any of this is the fact that I have a useless TA.”

Jungkook watched you with an unwavering gaze. “Watch your tone,” he grumbled, voice carrying more edge than those words ever did. 

You’ll admit, it stunted you for a moment, but the pain still lingered. You released the creased assignment on his desk lazily, treating it like the afterthought he believed it was. “Or what?” You taunted, tilting your head slightly. “You’ll fail me?” Your voice dipped in and out of feigned sadness, sarcasm dripping with every word. “You’ll go tell your precious professor? Hmm, little pet?”

Jungkook shifted in his seat, inhaling sharply from his nose before standing up. Even from across the desk, he towered over you. “Behave, (Y/N),” he warned, poking at his cheek with his tongue. 

His words meant nothing. You ignored the inner voice that reminded you that your behaviour was only getting this bad because his words actually meant more than you even wanted to acknowledge. 

“You’re just a useless pet, a stupid little goldfish trying so desperately to look tough in those all black clothes,” you pressed on, gesturing to his shirt that sat atop his chest and biceps all too well. He circled around the desk as you continued, “you can’t even get me to treat you with respect. Better yet, I bet you can’t even get me off. You’re that fucking useless.” 

How or why that sexual sentence slipped in was beyond you. You didn’t really have much time to think about anything, your mouth running on its own and leaving your mind to catch up. All you could see is him, him and those orange hues that lit around his muscular frame like a halo. You noticed him avoiding your gaze and you couldn’t help the teasing giggle that left your lips. 

A brow quirked up as he looked at you through his lashes. You only just realized that they were tipped with bits of gold. “There’s nothing you can do,” you said, standing up for the sole purpose of leaning in and whispering, “little pet.”

Those two words triggered something dark inside him. He groaned out, in frustration or excitement - you weren’t sure, and crashed his lips into yours. You wished you could say you resisted at first, but you were melting into his touch immediately. All logic left you and the only thing you can recall from that moment was another rush of lust and desire soaking your panties. You knew you lost your better judgement when you shamelessly moaned into the kiss at the fact that his lips tasted like freshwater and whatever flavour of spicy noodles he was previously eating.  

A rough hand tangled in your hair, tugging on it to pull you off his lips. You whined at the lost contact, surprising even yourself. You only caught a glimpse of his hooded eyes before he latched his lips onto your neck, setting fire to every inch of skin his mouth graced. Those eyes of his held a degree of rage and lusty fury all while little flicks of orange and gold swam within them. Had they always been like that? You never really got time to think about it before Jungkook bit at your flesh, unforgivingly nibbling and tugging only to slobber sweet kisses to soothe the sting. 

Your hands clutched onto his shirt, desperate to recompose even an ounce of your dignity. As if he knew what you were up to, his chuckled, warm breath fanning your skin, prickling you all over with goosebumps. Your thighs pressed together tightly at the sensation, and you were thankful you opted for a skirt rather than jeans this morning, knowing very well that there would’ve been a wet stain near your crotch. 

Jungkook inhaled deeply, parting from your neck to lick the shell of your ear. “You always smell so fucking sexy when you’re horny for me,” he raved. 

“I’m never horny for you,” your pride answered all too quickly. You wanted to add that he was mediocre at best right now, no matter how big of a lie that was too, but couldn’t find the courage after he bit harshly on your collar bone then lapped his tongue over the sting. 

“Don’t lie, pet,” he warned, smugly throwing your word back at you. 

“I’m not your pe- shit!” You gasped when his lips landed on the shallow hollow of your collar bone. You tugged on his shirt once more, tilting your head back as he began to attack it. His kisses were absolutely sinful and you found yourself wanting them all over you as you rolled your hips into his.

Once he was satisfied with the dark mark he left, he slightly pulled back. He opted for moving you around by the grip he had on your hair. It earned him little blissful whines from you that he couldn’t help but laugh at. He yanked your body closer to his chest, your hands now resting on his shoulders as you somehow positioned your crotch over one of his thighs and quickly, shamelessly moved against it. Your actions surprised you as well; you didn’t realize you were this hot for him.

“What were you saying before, my precious pet?” He teased, hovering his pouty lips over yours. His free hand rested upon your ass, gripping and kneading the flesh like he was coaxing the answer out of you. 

You bit your lip in denial of making a single sound. The notion wasn’t lost on him and he used his grip on your ass to halt your movements on his thigh. While you struggled to defy his silent orders, he held your body flush against his, keeping your clothed pussy trapped over his thigh with a single hand. You could feel his semi-hard against your lower belly as he smirked down at you. Had you not been in his grasp or too stubborn, you would’ve smacked that smirk off… with your lips. 

Jungkook yanked at your hair so that you were looking up at him with lips slightly parted and eyes undoubtedly desperate. That was the thing with your eyes; you could never hide your true feelings from them. 

His hot breath fanned over your chin as he muttered, “What happened to those cute little sounds, pet?” It took the last ounce of self control left in you to not to moan at his words. He continued to stare at you for a moment, admiring how, though you’re trying so hard not to show it, needy you were. 

“Open your mouth, baby,” he cooed. 

His voice was gentle enough for you to immediately comply. You parted your lips, looking up at him innocently. Though you knew what was coming next, your pussy clenching around nothing out of mere excitement, you did not pull away. In fact, you stuck your tongue out as he hovered his lips over yours and spat a stringy dollop of saliva into your mouth. It didn’t taste fishy at all, but simply, what you recognized as, him. You gazed into his eyes with lust-charged hate as you swallowed it without a second though. 

He smiled, satisfied, and released your hair to let his hand slide down to your other asscheeks, moving both hands under your skirt now. A little hiss left him as he felt your wetness reach the back of your panties too. “You really are this horny for me, aren’t you, baby?” He questioned as he guided your clothed pusssy against his thigh once more. 

“N-none of this is for you,” you stuttered. You tried to sound annoyed but the little moan in your tone hinted otherwise. 

He nudged his nose on yours, mannerisms shockingly softer than his grips on your ass. “Want another?” He raised a brow. 

When you remained silent, not wanting to admit that you most definitely wanted another wad of his spit in your mouth, he laughed. The corner of his wondrous eyes crinkled and he threw his head back, laughing at your silence. When his gaze met yours again, he bit his lip to subside the rest of his laughter, taking note of your furrowed brows and pouty lips. 

Jungkook seemed to like the challenges you were offering. He slightly tilted his head, eyes suddenly seeming unreadable. It wasn’t like you were paying much attention to his logic anyway, yours long gone by now. No, you were focused on the pleasure, the built up arousal twisting in your lower belly just desperate to be released. You knew your pussy wasn’t usually that sensitive, sometimes finding that you needed to tug on your skin to really get yourself off. But, holy fuck- 

“Jungkook!” You whined all too loudly as he flexed his thigh beneath you. 

“Hmm,” he hummed, tone reaching dangerously cocky levels. You loved it. 

Meek moans and whines poured out of your lips, like his name was the damn that held them back. Your grip on his shirt was sure to leave creases now, as you looked up at him, holding his gaze while you got yourself. You were passed pride now, ready to admit to yourself that you wanted to stare into those golden-brown eyes because, fuck, the simple sight was enough to make you cum.

Jungkook knew it. He knew you were close and squeezed your ass to let you know that. “Does my pretty pet wanna cum?” He lazily asked. The indifference in his tone was strangely enough to make you a slut for him; as if you weren’t already. 

You couldn’t give him the satisfaction, however. You were far too stubborn for that. Breaking your gaze, you threw your head back and shut your eyes. The pleasure was all you wanted to focus on as you got so fucking clo-

“No!” The cry tore from your throat, breaking as it fell from your lips. He took advantage of the grip he had on your ass once more, trapping your pussy on his flexed, muscular thigh. 

“Open,” he ordered.

You glared at him, sticking your tongue out with a huff. He spat another wad in your mouth, smacking your ass as you swallowed. The force jolted your body closer against his, now completely flush against his chest. Fuck, that chest. So strong and firm. You ran your hands up and down his pecs as he spoke. 

“You close your eyes again, and I’ll have you on your knees,” he threatened. You moaned at his words, earned a quirk of his brow. “Fuck, baby, you’re such a slut for me.” 

“When are you going to tell off that shirt?” You asked, the helplessness in your voice surprising you.

“When you ask nicely,” he teased, bringing his hand back down on your ass.

You leaned back just enough to tug on the hem of the loose shirt. He looked at you expectedly, actually believing you’d ask. A smirk found its way on your lips as your hands snuck beneath the cotton to rub up and down his skin. His breath hitched a bit at the contact, making you silently giggle to yourself. It was nice to know you weren’t the only one coming undone to soft touches. 

He kept your hips locked in place, but began to move his thigh under you. You gasped feeling the pleasure build itself back up in your lower belly. Digging your nails gently into his skin, you scratched at his nipples. It seemed you were both rewarding the other for a tease well done as he returned the blissful gesture by quickening the pace of his thigh. 

“J-Jungkook,” you whined, slowly bringing his shirt up higher and higher. His hands left your ass long enough for you to pull his shirt off and you took it as a sign to also be allowed to move again.

Giddy giggles left you as you got what you wanted and more, and you barely had to play nice at all. He was too consumed with getting you off to care, or so you thought. His hands came down on your ass with a force your pussy couldn’t ignore and you were sent into your first orgasm of the hour. 

Jungkook chuckled to himself, watching your jaw clench as high-pitched squeals escaped you and your pussy released all over his pants. The wet mess emitted filthy, slouchy sounds, further imprinting the fabric and filling the space between you two wonderfully. You held his gaze all the same, riding out your high as your nails dug into his pecs. He hissed at the sensation but did nothing to stop it. 

Your rapid rolls over his thigh stuttered against the friction, the pleasure starting to become too much for you. You halted your movement and quivered the last bits of our orgasm out. He peppered your face with little kisses all throughout, and you let him, whimpering for more. 

Jungkook pulled back at your sounds just to flash you a smug smile. He helped you off him, standing you up again. You bit your lip to keep from whining at the loss of contact. Though you did get your release, you were hoping for more. Your eyes, too obviously, flickered between his abs and the bulge in his pants. 

“If you want more, little pet, you’re going to have to strip for me,” he informed you. Jungkook held your fucked out gaze as he swiped a finger over the drenched spot of his pants to scoop up some of your release. You swallowed thickly at the action, watching as he sucked your cum off his finger. 

“You’re going to have to ask nicely,” you all but whine as his adam’s apple bobbed. 

His once playful teasing eyes seemed to be getting annoyed. The softness within them switched into something a bit darker. He was done with playing, and it only made you want to play with him even more. 

“I’m waitin- ah,” you gasped as he ripped the buttons off your thin, tight sweater off, exposing that yellow bra of yours that cupped your tits all too well. 

Jungkook towered his slender frame over you. “I don’t have to do anything,” he whispered, hovering his lips over yours. “Strip, little pet.”

You pulled your sweater off. A part of you wanted to reach up and just kiss him again. He was so close you could feel his breath against your parted lips. But, you knew better than to fully challenge that dangerous look in his eye. Your skirt was pushed down next, but you kept your panties on, slightly too embarrassed by the fact that they were sticking to your pussy. Reaching back behind you, you fumbled to unclasp your bra. Jungkook remained silent as he reached a single hand back there and undid it easily. 

You thought it must have regained his composure, the thought slightly pissing you off since you were becoming more and more of a mess by the second. But, the moment your bra fell, he attacked your breasts, burying his face between them. His lips latched onto one of your nipples, tonguing, biting, sucking away at it. One of his hands rested on your hip to keep you steady, while his other gripped at your other tit, massaging the fuck out of it. 

Your hands were lost somewhere in his orange-yellow hair, tugging at the long strands. You moaned his name repeatedly. Shameless and horny, you were loving his attention. “Oh, god, just fuck me,” you sighed. 

He hummed against your nipple. “In a minute, babe,” he muttered between alternating tits, now latching his lips onto your other nipple. 

From his slightly bent over position, you could see his fin lined along his spine. You wondered how it looked in the water, if it flowed within the waves like it did out of them. A hand reached over, gently grazing the ripped, but soft fin with the tips of your fingers. He shuddered against your touch, rolling his shoulders back but didn’t stop his tongue’s attack on your tits. 

You whimpered against him, lightly scratching his scalp with one hand and rubbed up his fin with the other. “Jungkook,” you breathed. You were desperate, needy and in total need of another orgasm. And that was what you kept telling yourself as you stuttered, “p-please, kookie.”

Jungkook froze, mid-suck and looked up at you slowly. “My, my,” he smirked, abandoning your tits and straightening up to his full height once again. Your hand on his fin slid up to his shoulder once more, an action that disappointed him too, his eyes flashing something too needy to be masked by his cocky demeanor. “Begging already, baby?”

You pressed your thighs together, granting yourself the smidgen of friction he was hell-bent on denying you. “That was barely a beg,” you scoffed. 

He shook his head at your words. “Shall we change that?” He lifted your hips before you could even respond and placed you on his desk. You were surprised he could lift you being that you were a grown ass woman and all. 

He spread your legs, groaning quietly to himself at the sight of your cum slick thighs and sticky panties clinging to your folds. Placing a hand to his forehead, he lowered his head and took a deep breath. 

You hated the sudden fear and panic of insecurity that shot through you. However, you couldn’t help but weakly ask, “s-something the matter?”

He nodded, meeting your gaze once more. “Yeah,” he sighed. You felt your heart drop, ready to close your legs when he continued, “those ruined panties haven’t come off yet.” A sigh of relief left you, your momentary panic bringing down all your walls with it as a blush tinted your cheeks. 

Jungkook must’ve liked that sight too because he was proudly smiling to himself. “Let me help you with that, little pet.” He dipped his head between your legs, lapping up the cum that stained your inner thighs too, not too bothered by the slight discolouration of them. 

Your legs were already trembling at the warmth of his mouth. He hooked his arms under both your legs, pulling your pussy closer to his face. Nudging his nose against your clothed clit, he inhaled your sinful scent. “God, this must be a fucking dream,” he muttered more to himself than to you in particular. “You smell even sexier when you fucking cum, babygirl.”

A whimper trickled out of your lips at his words as you gripped onto the edge of the desk. Little did you know that was merely the start of his filth. His mouth engulfed your clothed pussy in a single motion, licking and sucking the cum out of your panties. The hungry groans he made against your heat were boarderline pronographic. You were living for them, rolling your hips into his face relentlessly chasing after your next high. 

Jungkook tsked against your panties as if warning you to behave again, then sunk his teeth into them, catching a bit of your folds too. You cried out his name, your nails scratching at the dark wood beneath you. He watched you intently as he pulled those ruined panties off. You lifted your ass for him a bit and brought your legs together as he leaned back. 

He stood over you once they were off, the piece of clothing still locked in his jaw. Taking them out, he sniffed at them again. You pressed your thighs together once more, mesmerized by the sight before you. “Beautiful,” he rasped. Then he stuffed the wet, balled up panties in his pocket. “Mine now,” he explained, noticing the shock in your eyes. “Just like this pussy.” 

Grabbing your ankles, he pulled you closer to the edge of the desk and spread your legs apart once more. A little blush crept up his neck as the mess before him. He moaned to himself, getting on his knees. You never knew you needed to see a shirtless Jungkook on his knees before. He looked heavenly but his tongue was hellish, licking a clean strip up your folds. You threw your head back as he sucked on your clit. 

“Kookie,” you whimpered, having a lazy hand get lost in his hair again. You weren’t sure how or why you fell into that nickname, but you did and you weren’t planning on stopping. 

He hummed up at you, also accepting the nickname like you’ve been calling him that forever. His tongue swirled around your entrance, teasing - always fucking teasing you. He’d poke the tip of his tongue in only to watch you shudder and immediately clench your walls. His mouth traveled a bit higher halfway through another assault on your clit. 

“Can’t help it,” he muttered before licking at the short hairs a top your pussy. You blushed deeply at his actions. You had hoped he didn’t notice, but now seeing him practically lose himself over it, you felt a bit of pride swell in your chest. 

Jungkook bit at the flesh, tugging the hair with him as he pulled back. He spat on your pubes just to lick it up against the hair again. You gasped, looking down at his filthy actions with pure lust in your eyes. He repeated this action a couple of times, noting how excited it made you then returned to the wetness between your folds. 

“That really turned you on, huh baby?” He questioned watching as more of your wetness pooled out of your entrance. Diving right back in, he lapped up all the new arousal repeating the same flicks of his tongue over and over again. You couldn’t really grasp what the pattern was at first, but then it hit you all at once, forcing you to cry out in approval. He was licking his name against your entrance in Korean and English, poking his tongue into you with the dots of his js. 

“M-marking your territory?” you questioned, trying to sound as confident and composed as he did but your moans kept getting in the way. 

“I’d be drowning in it too if I wasn’t part fish,” he chuckled, fanning his warm breath against you. “Why don’t you prove me wrong, little pet?” His tone hinted that it was more of a suggestion rather than a challenge. “Cum for me.”

You were up for it either way, rolling your hips into his face. Nothing felt as sexy as when the little gills in the hollows of his cheeks brushed up against your inner thighs, slightly quivering at the contact. That unexpected sensation and the way Jungkook began to devour your pussy was enough to shock you into your second orgasm. 

“Oh, fuck yes,” you cried out, moans tumbling out of you endlessly. Your eyes rolled back, head falling back with them as you quivered against his face. “Yes, yes, yes, yes,” you squealed as you rode your release to the end. 

Jungkook flattened his tongue, letting you get yourself off on him. Once he was sure you finished spasming on his tongue, noting how your thighs started to squeeze his face as they came together, he flicked his tongue back into action. He lapped up your cum, swallowing every ounce of what you’d given him. 

Sensitive and gasping for air, you attempted to weakly push his face off of you. It was an impossible task. He was too strong and too consumed with the task at hand, slurping your juices, unfazed and unbothered. 

“Kookie… I… fuck,” you squealed, closing your legs around his face. He was practically suffocating against your pussy as he drank you up.

He suddenly, and very easily, pushed your legs apart as if you hadn’t just been using all your strength to close them. He got up, face glistening with a mixture of his saliva and your cum. He looked like a fucking goldfish god with his hair all tossel from your grip and face all smeared of your cunt. You wanted to clean it all up for him, but he wouldn’t give you a chance yet. 

His thumbs slid into his waistband about to push his pants down when he caught a glimpse of you. You were looking all fucked out, trembling from the remnants of your last orgasm, legs curled up into your chest. “You’re gonna make me lose my mind,” he whispered, all hints of playfulness and teasing threats gone from his tone. He almost sounded sincere, almost sounded like he actually meant all those things he said, like it wasn’t all just words thrown in the heat of the moment. 

You were panting quietly, not exactly sure what to say to that. You felt like you were saved by the exposure of his cock (on many levels) and pushed all thoughts away until you were back to your normal, rational state of mind. 

His cock was huge, veiny, and leaking precum, desperate for some contact. You shakily slid off the desk, fully prepared to get on your knees for him and give his heavenly cock the attention it deserved. But Jungkook tsked at you, nodding his head back to the desk. 

“Back on the desk, babygirl,” he grunted as he began to pump himself using the precum collected on his pink tip. 

You leaned against the edge of the desk for some stability, swallowing thickly at the sight of his veiny hand around his veiny cock. Licking your lips, you met his gaze shyly as if silently asking him to reconsider. 

Jungkook smirked, slightly buckling his hips into his hand. He gave himself a couple more pumps then set his hands on your hips to lift you back up on the desk again. “Be a good girl and I might consider letting you wrap that pretty mouth of yours around my cock next time,” he promised with a smile all too sweet for you to challenge. 

“Next time?” You meekly questioned. 

He positioned himself between your legs, that giddy smile still etched on his lips. He slapped his cock against your wet pussy a couple of times, making you whimper his name, before replying, “just behave, little pet, and you can have my cock down your throat anytime you want.” He then, without much further warning, sunk his cock into your entrance, hissing at the tightness. 

“J-Jungkook,” you sighed, only now just realizing how fucking badly you really needed him to fill you up. Tears pricked your eyes at the pure blissful sensation of his cock stretching you out so fucking good. 

Noticing your tears, he halted all movement. “Am I hurting you?” He asked, concern laced in his tone.

You shook your head immediately, all but begging, “keep going, please. Fuck, please kookie.” 

He let out a sigh of relief and continued to sink into you until he bottomed out. You gasped, holding his gaze while your nails dug into his shoulders. He flashed you a golden smile before pulling out and ramming back into you at a sinful pace. 

 “S-so b-ig,” you choked out between harsh thrusts. 

His face was contoured with pleasure, nose scrunched and brows furrowed in too cute of a way that you would’ve never even guessed he liked it this rough. “Ah-yah,” he gasped, overtaken by the clench of your cunt’s walls. “Tightest cunt I’ve had.”

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. He complied with little complaints and you leaned your forehead against his. Noses brushing, breath exchanging, Jungkook fucked you into the desk with such force, he jolted it back a bit with each thrust. You tilted your head enough to kiss his gills and whine against them. A smile graced his lips at the contact and he tightened his grip on your hips, his fingers digging into your soft flesh. You peppered each gill with kitten licks, then soft kisses despite how rough he was fucking you. 

Your arms moved around his back, practically hugging him. Shaky hands found his fin again and tightly gripped onto it. He buried his face in your hair, evading his senses with the floral scent of your hair, and groaned out little praises in your ear. You bit at his shoulder, subsiding your moans into his skin. You knew you weren’t exactly behaving, leaving little marks on his shoulder, but you also knew Jungkook was too engrossed with how your cunt gripped on his cock to care too much. 

All rough kisses and bites  on his shoulder came to a crashing halt, however, when he hit that spot deep within you. “Jungkook!” You shreeched, throwing your head back. He hit it again and again. Each time he hit it harder and rougher, coaxing you closer and closer to your release. 

You rested your forehead against his again, wanting to stare into his eyes when you came all over his cock this time. “There, there,” you encouraged, moving your hips up to meet his. The entire room returned the quick slaps of skin on skin in faint echoes, reminding you just how filthy this was. 

“Your close, aren’t you, little pet?” Jungkook asked as your cunt tightened around him. “Wanna cum, babygirl?”

You nodded your head eagerly, toes curling as that knot in your lower abdomen twisted in ways you weren’t completely familiar with. 

“Beg.”

“W-what?”

He chuckled and smacked your ass. You gasped, gawking at him in disbelief. “Beg.” he ordered. “I won’t repeat myself again.”

You squealed in frustration. “P-please Jungkook,” you started. “Your cock is so big… just wanna cum all over it. I- ah, I need to cum. Please, just please let me cum, kookie. Please!” 

“Cream on this cock, babygirl,” he growled in approval. 

You unraveled all you had to give him, cumming on his cock as he continued to ram into you in an unforgiving pace. You held his gaze all the while, shrieking moans and trembling whines escaping you. Your eyes slightly rolled back, mouth hung open as you tried your best to maintain eye contact. 

“Ah, fuck! You- you’re so fucking sexy when you cum, baby.” He gasped, thrusts getting sloppier. 

Though you were being overstimulated once again and felt the blissful burning of your after-high start to creep up on you, you still talked Jungkook into his orgasm. “Please fill me up, kookie,” you started, but never really got to finish as that was all it took for him to release ropes of white within you. 

You ground your hips into his as he buried himself deep in you. His brows knitted together, eyes just as needy as yours, cumming deep inside you. You knew he was cumming a lot just from how full you felt, but his cock was so huge, fitting your cunt just right, that it plugged all his cum in you, no remove for leaks. 

You circled your hips into his as he gasped for air, panting his hot breath over your face. “You’re so handsome when you cum,” you whispered, filter completely gone by now. 

Jungkook huffed a little smirk. He nudged his nose against yours before placing a gentle kiss against your lips. It was all over, the heat of the moment, the need for a release. Still, you kissed him back like it was a normal pastime. His tongue played with yours and you let him. It was like you two already had a routine of rough sex and intimate aftercare. And, shockingly enough, you didn’t find that off-putting at all. In fact, you realized you could actually get used to this, used to him like this. 

He pulled away, gasping once again. You joined him this time, slowly untangling yourself from him. You hadn’t even felt him soften inside you, practically just as big as when he was hard. You both gazed down at his cock, watching as he pulled it out to find it coated in a mixture of your cum, completely creamed. The cum plugged within your cunt came pouring out in thick glopes all over your graded paper. 

“Shit,” you whispered, watching your paper being ruined. “Now, that’s never going to the professor,” you huffed, looking up at him again. 

He bit his lip and scratched the back of his neck. “About that,” he began. “That’s actually not your real grade.”

A mixture of confusion and rage clouded your once sex-blown gaze. “What?”

“I may have given you another copy of your paper with a crappy grade just to get under your skin,” he confessed. He rested his hands on your thighs, rubbing them gently as if trying to calm you down. 

It worked. 

You raised a brow up at him. “Were you trying to get me naked?” 

Jungkook blushed, softly chuckling. “That was just as wonderful a surprise to me as it was to you.”

You held his gaze for a moment, finding comfort in the silence and his cute smile. “It was wonderful,” you muttered. 

“No one has touched my fin or gills like that,” he suddenly said, a blush tinting the tips of his ears. 

“Like this?” You asked as you leaned in to stroke his fin and kiss his gills once more. 

His hands found their place on your bruised hips and he hummed, “mhm,” before peppering your neck with sloppy kisses again. “Now get that pretty ass of yours off my desk.” He lifted you up only for you to wrap your legs around his waist. He laughed at your childish antics, holding you up by a newfound grip on your ass. “Come on, (Y/N),” he chuckled. 

You pulled back only a bit with a pouty smile playing on your lips. “Make me,” you whined. 

Jungkook smirked. “As you wish, little pet.”

[heyitsjay03]

Fighting for Tomorrow

Chapter Two

AN: I changed a few minor details (ie Reiner’s age) to help with the story line. Other than that, it should be pretty close to the actual canonverse. Enjoy!

Edit: So sorry! I didn’t realize that the last couple of chunks were weirdly super condensed! I’ll keep an eye out for it next time!

Disclaimer: I do not own AOT! All rights go to the respective owner(s) :)

Reiner x Fem!Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 8.9k words

TW: gore/blood/violence, adult language/swearing, loss/grief, arranged marriage/misogyny, partial nudity, classism

-------

You can read parts one, three, and four! Just give the number you want a tap ;)

  It’s been two years. 

   I haven’t found Eren or Mikasa or Armin. I haven’t been able to find someone that can transfer everything left to me in Fynn’s will. I haven’t even made my way to my own family or gone back to Dauper. I’ve been going around in circles and I haven’t. Found. A single. Thing. And they had announced that 20% of the population had been chosen to go on a mission ‘in the name of the King’ to retake Wall Maria a year ago…  

   What a load of shit.

   If that winter in the fields taught me anything, it’s that they were out of food and they were scared of an uprising. So they decided to… ‘reduce’ the problem. I can only hope that they weren’t chosen. They wouldn’t have recruited children, would they? They’re just kids. They don’t eat much, they don’t take up much space… It would be even more homicidal if they decided that kids would have to fight. And what if I’m too late? What if Eren, Mikasa, Armin; what if they’re-

   I can’t think like that. Once I start down that path, it’ll be impossible to think any other way. 

   They’re still out there. Eren’s probably gotten himself into countless fights with these morons of soldiers. Mikasa’s always been there to back him up, to protect him. And Armin has managed to get them both out of trouble nearly every single time. They’re still out there. They’re still alive and living just the way they did before. 

   I can only hope that to be the case.

--.--

   Walking down an alleyway is a horrible idea- especially now. It’s past midnight, judging by how high up the moon has climbed. I’m alone and the fraying briefcase in my hand is held tightly. Nervously, I twirl the ring around my finger. 

   It’s almost too quiet.

   I continue through the alleyway, heading towards the abandoned building I made to be my home. A door opens and closes behind me. Even as I weave through the alley, I can feel their presence behind me. Two men. Tall, muscular. Instinctually, I tighten my grip on the briefcase and stop twirling my ring. I can’t take them in a fair fight. As I continue down the alleyway, my hand snakes into my coat pocket. They walk close together- they’re friends at the very least. They will fight well together, outgunning me even further. Fingers wrapping around the switchblade, I steady my breathing. 

   I dart around a corner and slam my back against the wall. I can hear them speaking to one another, getting closer. My heart’s beating in my ears. I have to get one before the other knows I’m onto them. If I alert them both, I’m done for. I can feel my grip tense around the blade as I pull it from my pocket. The men get closer, lowering their voices. 

   The first rounds the corner and I press the blade up to his neck. “Why are you following me?” I hiss, looking up at him through my eyebrows. “Who are you?”

   “Jeez, lady!” The man’s hands fly up in surrender. “We thought we knew you!”

   The other man runs around the corner, eyebrows drawn together as he looks at the scene in front of him. My eyes flick from the second man to the man before me. I press the blade even more against his neck. “Who are you?”

   The second man’s eyes soften slightly, his blond eyebrows coming undone. “...______?”

   My grip tightens on the knife again. “How do you know my name?” I ask through gritted teeth.

   “______, it’s me!” The man yells, desperate to save his friend. “It’s Eld!”

   My grip falters and the knife clatters to the ground. My eyes scan the man in the darkness. The blond hair tied up into a small bun, eyes green in the starlight. “...Eld…?” I whisper, slowly reaching out to touch him. I’m eyeing him warily- like he’ll fall away in front of me. 

   My hand dusts against his jaw, the stubble pricking my fingertips. My eyes meet with his. Small smiles graze our lips and I throw my arms around him. He does the same, lifting me off the ground slightly. “I thought you died!” I laugh incredulously. “When Maria fell, I… I thought I lost everyone.”

   Eld puts me down and gestures to the other man with him. “You remember Oluo.”

   “Oluo! It’s so nice to see you again!” I smile, opening my arms to him. 

   He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Try pulling that stunt again, brat, and you’ll be sorry.”

   I don’t remember him being this rude. But I did pull a knife on the two of them. “I am sorry already, Oluo,” I mutter, “It’s… It’s been a rough couple’a years.”

   Eld elbows Oluo in the ribs and turns back to me. “You’ll have to forgive him. He’s picked up some rather annoying habits.”

--.--

   “It’s really no trouble,” Eld admits, shrugging with a smile. “You helped save some of us when Weinfeld would’ve had them die. I’m just… paying you back.”

   Oluo scoffs again as we walk towards the compound. “Hoping you’ll get something else in return, as well.”

   “Thank you for looking out Oluo,” I say with an edge in my voice, “But I can take care of myself. Considering I got the jump on you.”

   Oluo’s eyebrow shoots up as he eyes me up and down. Slowly, his mouth opens and he licks his lips. An annoyed smile graces them before he goes silent once more. 

   “You’re sure this isn’t gonna cause issues with your superiors?” I ask quietly as Eld pushes the door open. The hallway inside is abandoned and only lit with a few swinging lights. 

   Eld shakes his head, “It shouldn’t. People are known to bring… outsiders for late-night escapades. So this shouldn’t be much of a deal in comparison.”

   I nod and step inside, letting Eld guide me down the hallways. Oluo is hot on my heels. I can feel his sunken eyes staring at me. Shudders trail up and down my skin. 

   Men freak me out.

   Eld turns a corner and opens a door, gesturing inside. Oluo quickens his pace to cut me off and darts inside before me. Eld shakes his head and rolls his eyes. I smile slightly and pat his arm as I step inside. 

   It’s nearly completely dark. The only light is from the moon that pushes between the blinds. I can make out the silhouette of a neatly organized office. “I’m sorry I can’t give you an actual bed,” Eld mutters, grabbing a blanket and pillow from a small closet. “A couch is the best-”

   Excitement bubbles inside of me and I rush to take him in my arms. Squeezing him tightly, I smile into his shoulder. “Are you kidding?” I laugh, “I’ve slept on the filthy floor of an abandoned house for nearly two whole years. This is… fantastic. Thank you.”

   Eld goes slightly pink in the moonlight as I pull away to take the blanket and put it to my face. So soft… and it smells like fresh soap. Oluo clears his throat, “I found you in that alleyway, too.”

   “Thank you, too, Oluo,” I mumble, rubbing the fabric between my fingers. “I appreciate it, really.” Eld rocks back and forth on his heels for a moment before walking to Oluo and clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

   “Let’s get going,” he says, “Lady needs her sleep. And we have training tomorrow.”

   Oluo takes the hint and turns on his heel to walk out the door. Eld flashes me a crooked smile before following him. “Eld?” I call out, gripping the pillow to my chest. 

   His head pops back around the corner of the doorway. 

   “I really do appreciate it,” I say softly, “It’s been hard.”

   Eld dips his head. “...just… paying it forward.”

  And just like that, he’s gone. And I’m alone. In his office. In the dark. 

   I lay down, pulling the blanket up towards my eyes. The pillow tucked under my head smells like… Shampoo. It’s all… so tiring…

   My eyes fall closed and before I can think about anything, I’m asleep.

--.---

   “Walls above,” I mutter, sitting up. I can feel my hair sticking out every which way and my muscles are bunched together like tiny balls under my skin. Slowly, I rub my eyes and stretch. My hands run painfully through my hair, undoing the knots and tangles I had worked so hard to create while sleeping.

   “Well!”

   I spin around, fists coming up to a fighting stance. Eld stands in the doorway with a steaming cup of… something that smells amazing. I instantly relax and smile warmly. “You look well-rested,” Eld hums, handing the cup to me. “How’d you sleep?’

   Tea, I’ve determined, is what fills the cup. It’s my favorite, too- mint. “Fantastic,” I laugh, taking a sip. 

   “I’d hope so,” Eld chuckles, sitting down at his desk. “You slept for three days.”

   “You’re joking,” I mumble, stopping half-way into a sip. 

   He shakes his head, “Oluo came in here to check on you the first day and you were still out. And then by night two, I started getting worried so we had a friend of ours- Petra- check on you. And last night, I said if you didn’t wake up in the morning, I’d take you to the hospital wing.”

   I roll my eyes at myself and duck down behind my tea. Nice going, ______.

  “I’m sorry,” I mutter, “I didn’t mean to-”

   “Don’t apologise. You needed it- you said it yourself. These last couple years were hard.”

   I chuckle heartlessly and take another sip of tea. “...you have no idea.”

   “...if you want to talk about it…”

   My eyes meet his. They’re soft, scanning over me like I’m some sort of glass doll or lost cat. For some reason, it irritates me. I shake off the irritation and take a deep breath. He’s not looking at me like I’m helpless. He’s looking at me like he knows exactly what I’ve been through. And he probably does. 

   “My fiancé died right in front of me,” I start and take another sip, the image of the watchtower falling in on us playing over in my head. “Just… died. We were hiding in a watchtower and… that… Armoured Titan? that everyone was talking about- it walked into it and the whole thing came down on us. My fiancé, Fynn, pushed me out- saved me and died in my place.”

   I take another sip, eyes glazed over as I remember Carla being lifted into the air, the skinless smile of that Titan… The crunch of her bones and the blood. Just… everywhere, the blood. 

   “And someone I considered to be a second mother… She… she was eaten. Right in front of me and her kids. The house she lived in had collapsed on top of her and-,” I stop for a moment, my grip on the cup trembling with force. “And we tried to get her out. We tried but… We couldn’t. We… we had to leave her to die.”

   “And she told me to take care of them,” my voice is shaking now as I see her eyes staring at me. Pleading and desperate and watery and fixed on me like I was the thing that would save her. “She told me to take care of them and I tried to, I tried to. I couldn’t let them pass up the ferry- they would’ve died then if I had,”

   “And I’ve been looking for them around the entirety of Wall Rose but they’re just… Gone. Disappeared. All I can think about is if they’re gone forever- if something happened and they didn’t make it-”

   “______.”

   My head snaps up to look at Eld. I can feel the heat of my tears and the shaking in my hands- how long have I been crying?

   “You’ve done everything you could,” Eld says calmly, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “You deserve a break.”

   “...I don’t want to give up.”

   “You’re not giving up if you’ve exhausted all your resources.”

   I open my mouth and shut it again. There it is. It was always there- I always knew it was a possibility. But now it’s out and it’s in the air and it’s in words. 

   They might not even be around anymore. 

   Tears flood down my face. Sobs wrack my body, too powerful to even make a noise. They just choke me at my lungs, at my throat. Eld takes the cup from my hands and places it on the table. I can feel him around me but it’s just… cold. Freezing cold. Numbingly cold. 

   I don’t know how long we sit there like that. It feels like hours and days and years all at the same time as feeling like it was only a few moments. All I know is that when he pulls away, the same thought has been buzzing around my head for far too long to be disregarded. 

   “I want to join the Scouts,” I whisper, eyes wide and staring at the floor.

   “______, I don’t think-” 

   My eyes flick up to meet his. “One of the little boys I used to look after, all he wanted was to join the Scouts. Every day, we would talk about joining them when he got older. See the world, retake the life that was stolen from humanity… If Eren truly is gone… The last thing I can do for him is make sure one of us gets to see the outside world without being locked in a cage.”

--.--

   The sun beats down on us as we stand in rows, all equally spaced out. It’s not hot, not cold. Just… sunny. A man paces through the rows and picks on certain rookies. It’s kind of a show- a little guessing game. Who is going to get yelled at so badly they shit bricks next? 

   It’s kind of genius, really. Forcing us to become blank slates. Easier to make us into the soldiers they want us to be. The man stops at the end of my row, facing the girl standing there. Blonde hair all done up into a neat ponytail- she can’t be more than thirteen. He screams at her, demanding her name and place of birth. ‘Christa Lentz’ is her name. She was born in Wall Maria. Poor thing. 

   He directs her into another row, telling her to run. Slowly, he makes his way down the line until he stops at me. His eyes ghost over my figure before they meet mine. He nods and continues going even further down the row. The man continues yelling at recruits and even picking one up by the head. A small smile graces my lips as I watch him chew the poor boy out for saluting backwards. When the man stops halfway- jaw dropped- I lean slightly forward to see what was going on. 

   The man drops the boy and turns to someone a few rows behind me. I can’t see exactly who. I can, however, hear the man speaking. “...what’re you doing?”

   Silence. 

   “You!” The man yells, charging through the rows to a girl. She has long brown hair that’s tied up into a ponytail- hair falling to frame her face. “I’m talking to you! Who the Hell are you?!”

   The girl freezes for a moment before going into a salute. “I’m Sasha Braus- from Dauper Village on the south side of Wall Rose!”

   The blood in my veins stills.

   ...Sasha’s… Here?

   Why the Hell would she be here? What about Mom and Dad? Are they okay? Why isn’t she taking care of them? Why isn’t she at home-?

   “...whatcha got in your right hand?”

   My skin prickles with both rage and fear. Knowing my sister, it’s probably food. And knowing me, I’ll find myself running to protect her before I even realise. 

   “A steamed potato!” 

   I knew it.

   She’s always had a thing for getting caught stealing food- even when we were kids. I had to fight off angry store-owners and upset townswomen when she came and stole their food off their stands. ‘It was her fault for putting it in the window! Made the whole forest smell like pies!’ was a regular excuse. It wasn’t entirely her fault. Food was scarce for a very, very long time. We ate what we could… And stole what we couldn’t afford. 

   Sasha was just the one always getting caught.

   The man is looking at the piece of steamed potato in his hand now, mumbling to himself. I can hear Sasha chuckling nervously. The man takes a single bite of it. The man snarls, spitting the potato at her shoes.

   I walk out of line, marching down towards him. “Commandant!” I yell, snapping into a salute. “I am ______ Braus and I am willing to accept the responsibility of my sister’s misdemeanors!”

   The Commandant’s eyes widen as they dart from me to Sasha. I can hear Sasha mumbling to herself under her breath, staring at me. The Commandant sighs and rolls his eyes, “Fine. Both of you are to run until you’re about to drop.”

   I bow my head, “Thank you, Commandant.”

   “And food privileges have been revoked for both of you for the next five days.”

   I wince as Sasha lets out a strangled scream. This isn’t going to be easy.

--.--

   Sasha collapses onto the dirt, breathing heavily. I hunch over and feel my stomach tense like it’s trying to get rid of something. “You…” I mutter, pointing a finger at her, “What the Hell are you doing here?”

   “I… I could ask you the... same thing.”

   “I asked... you first- what the Hell are you doing here?”

   The two of us go silent, only panting and staring daggers at each other. 

   “You need to get that food stealing shit... under control.” I mutter, dusting myself off. 

   “Like you didn’t use to... do it,” she huffs, rolling over onto her back. 

   “I did do it. I just… didn’t get caught.” I sit down beside her, staring up at the stars.

   The air is thick with tension as we sit in silence for a while. She’s bound to have more questions than me right now. 

   “...is he dead?”

   I look over at her. Her eyes are locked with mine. I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “...yeah. He’s dead.”

   “Was he… ya know…”

   “No, he wasn’t eaten. He was… A building fell on top of us and he pushed me out before I was…”

   Sasha hums and nods, sitting up and tucking her knees to her chest. “...was he… nice… to you?”

   “Yeah,” I mumble, picking at the leather strap around my thigh. “He, um… He wasn’t even going to marry me, ya know.”

   “What?” Sasha’s head whips around to stare at me, her mouth hanging open and eyebrows drawn together. “He took you away from us for two years and he wasn’t even going to marry you?”

   “Ease up, there,” I shake my head and sigh. “...he was going to let me go back home… with the money and the land, no marriage required-”

   “______!” She snaps, grabbing my arm. “Marriage or not, he took you away when you were fifteen. He took you away from everyone- from your family, from me, from home. You were a kid and you were going to get married. It doesn’t matter if you ‘didn’t have to marry him’- that was his first plan, whether he changed his mind or not.”

   “Sasha, I never said I forgive him for what he did,” I whisper, eyebrows drawn together. “I will never be able to forgive him for that- for taking advantage of a girl with no other choice and stealing her away from her family at such a young age for two whole years… I’ll never forgive him but…,”

   “I have everything now. The money and the land- it’s finally going to be okay and this time, I’ll be with my family instead of some house in a town I only moderately liked.”

   Sasha nods and sighs, releasing her grip on my arm. “So… Ma and Pa are gonna be taken care of?”

   “If I can find someone that can transfer everything to my name, yeah… How… How are they?”

   “Pa’s getting better… And Ma’s not as tired anymore.”   “That’s good,” I smile, nudging her with my elbow. “All thanks to you, potato muncher. Thanks for takin’ such good care’a them while I was gone.”

   Sasha smiles and leans against me, her head resting on my shoulder. “...I missed you,” she mumbles, “...when Shiganshina and Wall Maria fell,” Sasha mumbles, scooting closer to me. “Ma and Pa and I… we… we didn’t think you had… we didn’t think you had ...made it.”

   “There was a lot of death,” I whisper, remembering the body parts and blood scattered around the city. “I wouldn’t expect you to think I had made it.”

   “I’m glad you did.”

   A huff-like laugh leaves my lips, “I’m glad I did, too…”

   I shift around and let my head rest on top of hers. “Once everything is done with and after we get out of here… do you… wanna come live with me? I know that’s a long ways away but I have… A lot of money now and I missed out on so much stuff with you so I was thinking…”

   Sasha cackles, “What? Live with you? You’re so old and clean.” 

   “I’m only six years older but... Yeah, you’re right,” I laugh, “You’re so filthy. I’d lose my mind.”

   The two of us go quiet for a moment.

   “Yeah,” she says finally. “When we’re all old ‘nd decorated officers, I’ll live with you.” 

   I press my lips to her hair, “Fantastic. When we’re successful, famous, then... Now,” I clear my throat and get back to my feet, holding a hand out for her. “Ya up t’steal some food?”

   Sasha grins and takes my hand, jumping to her feet, “Hell yeah!”

   The cafeteria is bustling with noise. Figures slide past in the windows, carrying trays of food. The smell of bread and vegetables drift through the door and out into the darkness where Sasha and I stand. My arm is wrapped around her waist, holding her in place as she frantically tries to fling herself into the cafeteria. “Will you-” I mutter, picking her up slightly and setting her back down, “Stop! Stop, stop, stop!”

   “I can’t!” She squirms around, almost frothing at the mouth. “I can smell everything in there! It all smells so good!”

   “If we don’t do this right, we won’t have anything to eat,” I snap, pulling us away from the doorway and around the corner. Taking her by the shoulders, I turn her to face me. Her eyebrows draw together as she looks me up and down. 

   “Have you always been this short? And when did you get that scar?” She asks, prodding the skin around my left eyebrow. 

   I bat her hand away, “Focus! Do you want food or not?” She nods enthusiastically, sticking her hand into her pocket. “Good…,” I whisper, turning to look around the corner. The golden light is still pouring out onto the porch along with the laughter and chatter from inside. “Now, I’m gonna go in there and talk to some people. When I tap on that window three times,” I point to the window hovering just above us. “I’m gonna drop some food down for you. You run to the cabins and tuck it away somewhere until I get back… got it?”

   Sasha nods and leans up against the window. Her stomach lets out an abhorrent growl, causing her to wrap her arms around it tightly. “Hurry.” 

   I turn around the corner and duck into the doorway. My eyes scan across the room, flicking across the various plates left unattended. I start forward while eyeing a plate of what seems solely holding fresh bread. Until someone collides into me, knocking me into a table. “Hey!” I snap, grabbing the person by the shirt, “Watch it!” 

   The man holds up his hands, staring down at me. He’s blond, a lot taller than me, and is built like a goddamn freight train. An amused smile crosses his lips as he looks at me, “Sorry, miss- didn’t see ya there.”

   My eyes narrow as I stare up at him, “What’re you gettin' at?”

   The man shrugs, pink lips downturning as he glances to the side. “Just didn’t see ya.”

   I scoff, letting go of him and waving him off. “I don’t have time for you anyways.”

   “Would you be willing to make time?” He asks, following after me as I sit down at a bench. My eyebrow quirks up and I look him over. 

   He’s… not bad-looking. At all.

   Wide jaw, a little stubble gracing it, cocky grin, green eyes, broad shoulders… 

   “Name?” I ask. At the very least, I can get some food out of him. 

   “Reiner. Braun,” he says, puffing his chest out a bit. “Yours?”

   “______,” I smile, “Braus.”

   Reiner smiles and leans back, “That’s how I know you- you’re that girl’s sister.”

   “The very same.”

   “...have you been able to meet anyone yet?” Reiner asks, getting up from his seat. “You were, uh… busy with…” he gestures outside, “...so I wasn’t sure.”

   “Nope,” I get to my feet, “Why? You know people already?”

   Reiner shrugs, “A few. Bertholdt was from my village and then we were talking with some others when I, um… Saw you walk in.”

   My eyes flick to him as we walk across the room. Pink is dusting his cheeks as a thick hand rubs the back of his neck. I laugh softly, elbowing him in the ribs, “Is that blush I see on you, Braun?”

   Reiner shakes his head, very obviously turning another shade of red darker. There’s a group gathered around a table, chattering excitedly. Reiner taps on a few people’s shoulders, pushing others out of the way. “Hey,” he says, only needing to lift his voice a little in order for it to overtake the chatter. “Found someone else- her name’s ______.”

   I push through into the center of the group, waving slightly at the faces. “Hey, I’m-”

   “______?”

   My eyes dart to the voice. It’s so painfully like his voice. But… It’s not.

   Right?

   I place a hand on Reiner’s arm and push him back to see the end of the table. 

   Holy shit.

   “Armin?” I whisper, staring at him. He’s older now- still young and still the same blue eyes, blond hair but… so different. 

   We stand there staring at each other for what seems like ages before my name is whispered again. All breathy, like I’d fly away if it were said too loud. My eyes flit down to the seat beside me. “...Eren? Mikasa?”

   They’re here. They’re all here- my sisters, my brothers… They’re here and they’re alive. Holy shit, they’re alive.

   Eren’s the one that moves first, grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me into him and Mikasa. Armin hurries around the corner of the table and all I can do is laugh and wrap my arms around them as tears stream down my face. 

   “I thought I lost you,” I laugh, pulling away for just a second to look into Eren’s eyes, into Mikasa’s, into Armin’s. My hands lay against their faces, turning them slightly so I can see every nearly-forgotten inch of them. “I’ve been looking for you ever since that goddamn ferry- look at you!” I laugh again, “You guys look…” I trail off, staring at each of them. 

   Armin’s in tears, Eren looking about the same. Even Mikasa’s eyes prick with tears. “Where were you?” Eren asks, eyes searching my face.

   “Everywhere,” I sigh, “Everywhere but the one place you were apparently… I even went to the Underground for you three.”

   I stare at each of them for what seems like ages, only stopping when a soft tap on my shoulder brings me back to the present. Turning around, I catch a glimpse of the happy- albeit slightly confused- faces surrounding us. Reiner’s eyebrow shoots up, gesturing to the kids. “Guess you knew some people, huh?”

   “How is it you three know each other?” A boy with a near-shaved head asks. 

   “I worked for this one’s father,” I explain, ruffling Eren’s head. “Mikasa lived with them and Armin was their best friend so...”

   “She was like our older sister, really,” Eren explains, flashing me a smile. “Got us out of a lot of trouble.”

   “And into some,” Mikasa adds.

   “I moved to Shiganshina when…” I trail off, remembering that night of goodbyes to my family in the starlight. Shaking my head slightly, I force a smile. “When a... When I bought a house out there.”

   The group starts back up again, asking us questions- about Titans, about the Armoured Titan, the Colossal Titan, the fall of Shiganshina… I elbow Mikasa and gesture to Eren’s plate, left neglected as Eren tells an extremely self-inflating version of the one of the times he chewed Hannes out. She knows exactly what I want. Silently, she slides her hand over and tugs the plate over towards me. 

   “Thank you,” I whisper into her hair as I slide off the bench and to the window. I knock three times and open the window just a crack, sliding the plate into Sasha’s hands. I can hear her malicious giggle on the other side.

   Mikasa and I continue the song and dance- stealing plates while people are captivated by Eren and Armin’s storytelling. Finally, after the third trip, I can hear Sasha hissing at me. “Jeez, ______! I can’t carry all this!”

   “Then open your skull- there’s a ton of empty space in there!”

   She goes quiet for a moment before something pinches my back. I jump, causing her to burst into laughter on the other side. “That’s what you get!”

   “Whatever,” I mutter, “Go ahead and start eating when you get to the cabin- just save me some!”

   I can hear her sprinting away from the window, giggling insanely. I roll my eyes and walk back to the group, sitting back down between Reiner and Mikasa. Armin and Eren are bickering about something- some detail from a story that Armin had told incorrectly. 

   It’s just good to have my kids back- all of them. 

--.--

   “Always the hothead, I see,” I mumble as Eren and Mikasa walk out of the cafeteria. “You haven’t changed that much, have you, Eren?”

   Mikasa nods, siding up next to me as we walk towards the cabins. “Not much has changed.”   “Not another lecture,” Eren groans, rolling his eyes. “I already had Mikasa on my tail- now you’re back and already you’re scolding me.”

   “Ha!” I laugh, “I’ve got a whole two years to make up for- I’m not letting anything slip past.”

   Eren sighs and gestures to Mikasa and I, “Never mind me. Worry about your hair- it’s too long. It might get caught in the ODM gear and cause an accident.”

   Mikasa and I each look at our hair. It’s true- the length of mine runs down my back, ending just short of my waist. I hadn’t cut my hair in a very long time before the fall of Shiganshina and these past two years were too chaotic to do it myself then. It was usually thrown up into a loose bun but that might not be an option anymore. 

   “Well then,” I mumble, running my fingers through the length of my hair. “Look at that… I guess I’ll cut mine. It’s a bit too long for my taste, anyways. I prefer my hair short… Do you want me to do yours, Mikasa?”

   Mikasa’s still fiddling with the ends of her hair, studying the length. Finally, she nods, “Thank you.”

   Our footsteps crunch in the dirt as we come to our cabins. Eren hurries up the steps of the cabin on the right while Mikasa and I go to the cabin on the left. “‘night, Eren!” I hum, smiling at him as he opens his door. 

   “‘night, ______. ‘night, Mikasa.”

   The two of us head into the cabin and I can already smell the food. “Sasha!” I hiss, peering into the darkness. “You save any for me?”

   It’s silent. 

   I look to Mikasa, who eyes me warily before taking another step into the room. I do the same, trailing my fingers along the wall. “...potato-muncher, you in here?”

   “______!” Sasha screeches, lunging at me from the darkness. I fall backwards as she climbs on top of me, gripping my shoulders and shaking me. “God has visited me! I have been blessed by God herself!”

   “What?”

   “Christa!” She screams, shaking me so violently my head snaps back and forth. “She brought us bread!”

   So like my sister to relate food to godliness.

   I sit up and push her off of me, getting to my feet as she runs back into the darkness. “Look!” She screams, holding out two whole pieces of bread. 

   They look… So good.

   I snatch one out of her hands, taking a bite. Using the bread, I point at Mikasa and swallow. “This is Mikasa- you remember me telling you about her in my letters?”

   Sasha, bread held in her mouth, turns to look at Mikasa. A blush crosses her cheeks and she stands up straighter, waving slightly. A muffled ‘hello’ is mumbled through the bread. 

   “Mikasa, this is my little sister, Sasha,” I explain, taking another bite and sitting down on one of the bunks. Mikasa dips her head, smiling gently. My eyes widen as I remember what I was going to do. “Sasha, you know where I can find any scissors?”

   Sasha nods, heading back into the darkness. Rustling and the sound of things falling to the floor fill the room as I tie my hair back. She hurries back out, licking her fingers as she hands me a pair of scissors. “Mikasa, grab that dresser and pull it over here,” I mumble, finishing off my bread. 

   Mikasa drags the wooden dresser from the corner over and sits down on top of it. “How short do you want it?” I ask, running my fingers through her hair as I get up to stand behind her.

   Her hand comes up and levels off towards the middle of her neck. “Do you think it’ll be good here?” she asks quietly, turning her head slightly to look at me. 

   I nod, eyeing the length of her hair, “Should be…” 

   Sasha appears at my side and hands me a hairbrush, “It’s not so much for Mikasa as it is for you.” She winces, eyeing my hair. 

   “Gee, thanks,” I mutter, starting to brush Mikasa’s hair out. 

--.--

   Mikasa has fallen asleep, face buried in Eren’s old scarf. Sasha’s passed out, too, surrounded by plates and crumbs. It’s just me as I hold the scissors in the moonlight. My eyes flick up to the moon- full and bright and lonely in the sky. 

   But it’s not lonely. Surrounded by stars and clouds, it breathes and relaxes above the earth. 

   I take the scissors, admiring the way I look in the reflection on the metal blades. Sasha’s right- I didn’t have this scar when I saw her last. It was from Shiganshina, when that building fell. A piece of wood or stone or something sliced my skin deep enough to leave a curving scar from my temple down to my eyelid. 

   Reaching back, I undo the bun I had tucked my hair into and feel the weight of my hair cascade down my back. It’s thick and heavy- and so irritating. 

   Enough theatrics.

   I grab a section of hair, looking in my faint reflection in the glass window. The scissors find their mark and…

   The first section is done. A length of hair falls to the wood floor, curling slightly. More and more lengths join it and mix the black with ______ on the floor. Just above my shoulders- like Armin’s. I laugh a bit, continuing to feather the edges as I picture the two of us standing beside each other with nearly-matching haircuts.

   My head feels so much lighter and so much more free. I’ll never let it get that long ever again. I place the scissors down on the windowsill and look down at my feet. Mounds of ______ and black hair blanket the space between bunks. There’s bound to be a broom somewhere around here, right? I peek outside, watching for anyone passing by outside. It’s late… I should be able to sneak in and out without anyone noticing. 

--.--

   The leather straps around my chest, waist, hips, and thighs keep me suspended in mid-air. I can feel the toes of my shoes barely scrape the ground as my body twitches here and there. Slowly, I breathe in and out. My eyes focus on the ground as my back straightens. My abs and legs tense slightly when I straighten up completely- but I don’t swing. 

   I’m balanced. 

   My eyes flick up from the dirt below me to the other cadets waiting to try their luck on the ODM gear. A cocky smile stretches my lips and I look to the left of me to see how the others are doing. Armin has both arms held up at his sides, lip in-between his teeth as he shakily hangs in the harness. Further down, I see Mikasa nearly perfectly balanced, a focused yet impassive look in her eyes. 

   And then I see Eren. 

   Upside-down and flustered, all red and wriggling around like a worm. His legs are bent at the knees, his feet up in the air. His hair is grazing the dirt as he tries to pull himself upright. Some recruits are laughing, gesturing to him. 

   He is not going to like this at all. 

   Groaning, I look over to my right. Sasha is leaning slightly forward, her lips forced into a thin, hard line. A bead of sweat slips past her temple, tracing the grooves in her skin as her eyebrows weave together. “How ya doin’, ‘tato-muncher?” I call out to her teasingly. 

   Her eyes flick over to me and then back to the same spot she was focusing on before. “...great!” She says quickly, like her balance was based solely on her not speaking. 

   I laugh a bit, eyes flicking around the crowd. The boy with a shaved head- what was his name…? It was Carl… Cole? Con… Connie. Connie stands right in front of me, standing beside that tall horse-faced boy that got in Eren’s face a few nights ago. Jean, if I remember right. 

   My eyes continue bouncing around the crowd, picking out names and faces. Tall and blond- Reiner. Even taller and brunet- Bertholdt. Freckles- Marco. Pigtails- Mina. Short and blonde- Christa. Angry- Ymir. Bored- Annie. Glasses…?

   A taller person with rectangular glasses stands towards the back of the crowd, hands clasped together over their chest. Their mouth hangs open in an amused smile and I can almost hear their giddy laughter from here. Their longer brown hair is tied back into a bun with pieces jutting out from the base. I can see them turn to face someone else beside them, taking them by the shoulders and gesturing manically to us recruits. My eyes trail down their long arms to the person they’re shaking. 

   Who is that?

   The man they’re shaking is much shorter than they are but just the look he has in his eyes… It’s so intimidating it’s almost painful. Grey like steel, they peer out from beneath his jet-black hair at us. His jaw is strong and sharp- contrasting the softness of his lips. 

   He looks familiar.

   “Hey,” I mutter, turning to the soldier manning the ODM trainer. “Who’s that?” I ask, pointing to the two in the back. 

   The soldier’s eyes land on the two and he chuckles, “You live under a rock ‘r something? That’s Doctor Hange Zoë and Captain Levi- Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. They’re probably here doing some scouting for their squads.”

   I nod slowly, eyeing the two of them. 

   Captain Levi’s eyes are glazed as they trail down the line of trainers. I freeze completely when they land on me. They remain locked on me for a moment before he continues down the line. 

   ...? 

--.--

   “You three are a lot,” I mutter, wrapping bandages around Eren’s head as he blankly stares at the floor. “What the Hell were you even doing?!”

   “Eren was struggling with the ODM trainer,” Armin explains, “And… we said we would help him. We got him strapped in and when we lifted him up, he…” Armin trails off, looking at Eren worriedly. 

   “He what?” I snap, continuing to wrap Eren’s head. 

   “He fell forward and hit his head,” Mikasa answers from the doorway. I can tell she’s just as upset about this as I am. But there’s also something else in her eyes… Relief, maybe? That doesn’t make much sense. Maybe it’s because it could’ve been much worse than it is or maybe I’m just reading into her too much, I don’t know. 

   These past couple years have really messed up my ability to read them. 

   Eren groans, rubbing his head with his hand. I bat his hand away, tucking the bandage so that it’ll stay put. “Listen to me,” I say, taking Eren’s face and turning it towards me. “You’re gonna get yourself killed before you even see a Titan again. You need to be more careful-”

   “If I can’t get this down, I won’t be able to become a Scout and kill the bastards!” Eren snaps, knocking my hand off his face.

   “You also won’t be able to become a Scout if you’re dead!” I yell back, eyebrows furrowing together. “You need to be more careful- ‘nd not just now, either! Careful in the field, too. I’m not going to just let you do whatever you wish and watch you die because of it!” 

   The room goes silent as we stare at each other. Slowly, I let my muscles unravel. I take a step forward, placing a hand on his cheek and turning his face to mine. “...listen… I’m only trying to keep you safe. If you aren’t a little cautious, you’ll die out there- and I… I made a promise. To your mother and to myself that I’m not going to let you die,” I turn to Armin and Mikasa, “That I’m not going to let any of you die- so this goes for all of you. Sasha’d be hearing this, too, if she were here,”

   “Be more careful or I’ll beat your asses, idiots… Have I made myself clear?” I ask, eyes flicking to each face. Each of them nod and I sigh, ruffling Eren’s hair and rolling my eyes. “Now, go eat. No more training.”

   Eren’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open a bit, “But-!”

   “You can train after, when I’m there with you,” I interrupt, “Eat something first.” 

   Eren sighs and follows after Mikasa and Armin before stopping in the doorway. “...are you coming?”

   I nod and gesture to the medical supplies sprawled out on my bunk, “I’m putting these away first- I don’t want Ymir stealing them and putting them somewhere I can’t reach.”

   Eren nods and closes the door. I listen to his footsteps crunching in the gravel as he walks away. Putting everything back into the container and closing it, I slide the little white box under my bunk. I get to my feet and walk out into the darkened sky. Stars prick the skyline and tease the moon. I wonder what it’s like up there- what it’s like outside the walls. 

   In a few years, I should be able to find out.

--.--

   My knuckles rap against the window, “Armin!” I whisper, looking around the corner. Soldiers with lanterns are looking around, talking amongst themselves and asking if they saw ‘which way she went’. They’re too close to the girl’s cabin- I’d get caught before I could sneak in.    “Armin! Eren!” I hiss, staring up at the window. Of all days I had to get caught showering after hours, it just had to be the one time it was for an actual, good reason. I went to dinner and that horse-faced moron Jean ran into me, spilling food all over my clothes. I didn’t have time to shower then so I quickly changed and went to supervise Armin, Eren, and Mikasa with Sasha. 

   I growl, tightening my grip on the towel around me. It’s freezing. Goosebumps litter my bare skin as I clutch the wad of clothes in my hands. Shivering slightly, I knock again on the window. “Armin! It’s ______, dammit- open the window!”

   The window shudders slightly and I can hear it squeak open. “Hey!” I hiss, pulling the towel tighter. “Down here.”

   Someone sticks their head out of the window. Marco turns a slight shade of pink staring at me. “Are Eren and Armin in there?” I ask, peeking around the corner to check on the guards.

   Marco nods, “...um… did… did you-?”

   “Listen, Freckles, I need in there,” I mutter, adjusting the towel once more and digging the sole of my foot into the wall. “Gimme your hand.” Marco stays still, eyes wide as he stares down at me. “Today, Freckles, c’mon!”

   Marco sticks his hand out to me and I take it, using it to pull myself up and into the boys’ cabin window. The quiet murmur inside stops and I can feel the eyes collected on me. Adjusting the towel again, I turn to face them. “Armin, Eren!” I call, head up and shoulders back like I’m not completely naked with only a towel on in a dorm filled with horny boys. 

   I can see them pushing through the others. Eren snaps at each of the boys he thinks take too long to blink as Armin helps me down from the window. “Can you do two me a favor?” I ask, unwadding my clothes. “Hold a blanket up or something for a moment?”

   Armin nods and grabs a blanket off of a bunk, holding it up around me as the towel drops. I can see his ears turn a light shade of pink as he turns his head away from me. Eren stands at his side, glaring at the other boys and silently daring them to say or do something. I smirk, pushing my legs into a pair of leggings. “You okay, there, Armin?” I hum.

   He nods frantically. “All good here, ______.”

   “What are you doing here?” Eren asks, not taking his eyes off the other boys.

   “Got caught,” I mutter, “I was taking a shower and some idiot stumbled in. I only had time to grab my clothes, wrap myself in a towel and run. They got to the girl’s cabin before me- I can’t sneak in without getting caught.”

  “What about the windows?” Armin manages to ask as he blushes even more. 

   “Mina’s a real safety freak- always locks up the windows before she goes to sleep… Okay, you can drop the blanket now.” I stand up straight, now warmly dressed in a pair of leggings and an oversized t-shirt. Armin drops the blanket, wadding it up and throwing it back on the bunk. 

   Eren visibly relaxes and turns to face me. “You gonna keep sneaking out for showers?”

   “Let’s just say this,” I gesture to the window and the cabin as a whole, “May become a regular thing.” Eren groans and rolls his eyes. “Aw… c’mon, Eren… Ya know I don’t sleep.”

   “Yeah, fine. Just don’t get caught.”

   “Aw, c’mon, Rei- teach the kid how to balance on the gear.”

   “I’m telling you, I can’t explain it,” he huffs, pointing to his temple. “It’s something you gotta do in here. You can’t be taught.”

   I roll my eyes and sigh. “Fine then. Bert, how ‘bout you?” I ask, looking at Bertholdt. 

   Bertholdt shrugs, “If I could, I would.”

   “Please guys, I’m begging you!” Eren pleads, gripping the sheets of the bed we all sit on. 

   Bertholdt and Reiner look to each other before they turn to face us again. “Sorry, Eren.”

   “Tch,” I click my tongue and get to my feet, grabbing Eren’s shoulder and massaging it gently. “It’s alright, Eren. It’ll come to you tomorrow, alright?”

   “Just give it your all,” Armin adds, standing with me. Eren hangs back for just a moment, head hanging. Slowly, he gets to his feet and we get ready to hop off the upper bunk. 

   “You’re… all from Shiganshina, right?” Bertholdt asks. 

   “I lived there for a couple of years,” I shrug and sit back down. “But I wasn’t born there- they were.” I tilt my head towards the boys as they sit on either side of me. 

   “But… you were… there. When it happened,” Bertholdt says quietly. “Right?”

   “...yeah.” I mumble, staring down at the sheets I have pinched between my fingers. “I was there.”

   “So then you know how horrible the Titans are. Why would any of you want to become soldiers?”

   “Unlike Eren and ______,” Armin starts, “I didn’t see the Titans right up close. But I can’t stand the thought that we have a monarchy that forced its people to go on that horrible reclamation mission- I couldn’t stand by.”

   “...and you two?” Reiner asks, eyes flicking between Eren and I. 

   “I, uh… When I was working for Eren’s father, we would have conversations about the walls,” I explain, rubbing the sheets between my fingers. “Mostly about how much we hate them. They’re meant to keep those things out but… They’re also meant to keep us in and keep us separated. The interior- they’re rich and fat off the blood and sweat from our people, from the people in the outer walls. We die in the streets to be picked apart like rats while they host... banquets,”

  I chuckle coldly and roll my eyes, dropping the fabric. “And honestly? I really want to see what’s out there. That… ‘ocean’ thing Armin was telling me about sounds like one hell of a blast- and that’s just one thing. I can only imagine what else is out there.”

   “...what about you,” Armin asks, “Where are you two from?”

   The two go quiet, eyes dropping to the mattress. “We’re both from the same village, deep in the mountains,” Bertholdt says, “On the southeast side of Wall Maria.”

   My stomach drops slightly, “...oh…”

   “That’s…” Armin trails off, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. Eren’s mouth is parted slightly as he stares at Bertholdt. 

   “Yeah… Unlike towns with waterways, we didn’t get word right away- more like the Titans came before the news,” Bertholdt’s head drops, his soft green eyes cast down into shadow. “...it was just around dawn. The livestock were restless. Then I felt tremors that got stronger and stronger. Pretty soon… I realised they were footsteps. And I rushed to the window…”

   He stops, his eyes still wide and unblinking.    “I… I, um… Don’t remember much after that. There was so much chaos.”

   I crawl over to the other side of the bed, wrapping my hand around one of theirs. “You don’t need to remember,” I mumble. “You’ve been through enough- remembering won’t do either of you any good.”

   “Oi,” Reiner says, looking at Bertholdt. “Why’re you bringing this up all of a sudden?”

   Bertholdt shifts in his place, snaking his hand out from under mine. “Sorry… What I wanted to say was- you guys are different from the others. The ones that don’t know what the Titans are like... Most of them are here because it’s the ‘politically correct’ thing to do- if you choose working in the fields when you turn twelve, you’re branded a coward.”

--.--

   “...so I went along and enlisted in the Cadet Corps,” Bertholdt continues as we sneak out of the dorm. “Still… I’m no different from them. I chose to work for the military police so I can work in the safety of the interior. If that doesn’t work out, I might just quit.” He chuckles and shakes his head, leading us through the woods alongside Reiner. 

   Eren and Armin are at my sides, weaving through branches and bushes. My eyes are focused ahead. A poorly-kept path through the woods up the mountain seems to lead up to a clearing. My eyes then drift from the road to Reiner as he helps pick Armin up after tripping over a rock.   His eyes meet mine for a moment. I smile gently, turning away and thanking the moon for hiding behind a cloud. Eren and Armin hurry to Bertholdt’s side, leaving behind Reiner and I in the rear. We walk together silently, the air still managing to be thick.

   “So…’ Reiner drawls, pushing a branch out of the way. “How… how old… are you?”

   I laugh, ducking under a branch and listening to him struggle to break it. “Is that how all you mountain men talk to women? Or are you just bad at it?”

   “I, um… I-”

   “It’s fine, Rei,” I laugh softly as he comes up to my right. “I’m nineteen. You?”

   Reiner nods, “Nineteen.”

   The two of us go silent again as the three ahead of us are chatting amongst themselves. I guess it’s only fair I try to start a conversation, since Reiner-

   My foot slips on a gnarled root and I feel a hand wrap around my wrist, pulling me back. I let out a quick laugh, running a hand through my hair. “Thank you.”

   “Is that a forest girl thing? Slipping in the woods?” Reiner asks, chuckling slightly as his hand releases my wrist. “Or are you just bad at walking?”

-------

You can read parts one, three, and four! Just give the number you want a tap ;)

[stormhawksplanb]

Nova and her relationship with the others PART 1: Storm hawks.

Aerrow :

And here come the troublesome duo!

Aerrow antagonizes Nova 78% of the time

Mostly to get her to come out of her shell and actually do stuff.

Like climbing down a small mountain

"I'm scared if heights" "But- you live on a giant ship with us, and fly a skimmer' at inhuman speed-" "I'm still scared of heights!"

He just kind of left her there to her own devices

She eventually climbed down

"Did ya' have fun?"

"... I'm still scared of heights..."

Brother sister rivalry

They race

She doesn't care if she wins, she just wants to go zoom

He also wants to go zoom, but wants to see if he can cause her to do some dumb dangerous stunts

She does

Usually crahses

Why was there rings of fire involved?

No one will know

They don't even know

Nova is damage control

"Now what did I say about doing x,y, and z?"

Aerrow nervously "Not to do x,y and z?"

She won't save him from Piper's wrath.

Not my problem TM

Piper :

Sisters unite!

Unbreakable bond

It's kind of scary

Like, Atmos forbid if piper gets hurt.

Very Angry Nova TM

Piper has to be Nova's damage control when stork isn't around.

She's the only one Nova will listen to.

They like coming up with plans together.

Nova tries to make sure the others follow said plan. Doesn't work.

They also have a silent code system

Even for mundane things

'Do the dishes'

'No'

Despite being completely different people, they get along better than everyone expected when on missions.

Nova is pipers rock, and makes sure no one has the chance to fool Piper

This has cause a couple "I'm not a little kid, you can trust me!" Fights

That qoute has been used by both sides.

They're the quickest to make up when mad at each other.

They just needed a break to cool off

Most of the time no one apologizes, they just kind of, forgive and forget?

Finn

The "This was a terrible idea but neither of us have any clue how to stop ourselves" pair

Nova and finn left alone is a TERRIBLE idea.

You thought Aerrow and nova were bad news

Guess again

With Nova around, ALL of finn's pranks work out.

And no evidence is left behind

He has been pre warned to leave stork alone

They also bicker

A lot

"How was I supposed to know your paint would stain the seat!"

Cue Finn running for his life

Nova chases Finn a lot

This is almost a weekly accurance

But don't f*ck with Finn

Nova will get you, and hurt you badly if you do

As a warning.

Junko

Anyone need some Group therapy?

Cause Junko and Nova are top tier therapist!

Nova looks at Junko like a younger, yet stronger, brother.

She's always checking up on him

And she and funny are first to sense when he's not in a good mood

Tries not to baby him, but does it anyway

Junko treats Nova like a gentleman

"Let me get the door for you miss..."

It's more of a way to pick on stork.

Stork thinks it's kind of adorable they get along and goof around

The food junkies

Nova will never be able to keep up with him

Also the nicest person to tell junko when certain things need to be said

He's extremely understanding anyway though.

Stork :

Death And Doom combo

Can't have one without the other

They're like magnets

Also usually the first to get full of themselves

Mostly because they're always right

They get bullied by the others for being a couple

S T R E S S E D PARENTS

"Did you hear that Finn fell off the ship and twisted his ankle?" "NO!" "You should go check on him them..."

They're also really sneaky

They never fight, but there's a lot of bickering and sass

"Is this contagious?"

"Will this kill me?"

They can be super wholesome, but in a weird way

What's his is mine, and what's mine is his

Stork has been caught in her make up, clothes, and art supplies.

They keep getting handcuffed or tied up in missions.

People are now suspecting that they do it on purpose.

Nova is REALLY good at saying stuff only stork will understand *wink wink*

The "if they're not back by sundown we send a search party"

Search parties are usually sent, and they're just hanging out because their transportation is either stolen, or has exploded.

Raddar:

CUTE BABIES TM

Raddar gets many head scratches

She spoils him. So. Badly.

Tiny outfits

Tiny hats

Nova has yelled at the team for using Raddar to get into dangerously small places

Another prank Duo

Not as successful because Raddar thinks it's funny when the pranks go a wry.

I know I posted about it before but, Tiny hats are scattered and hidden around the condor.

Both of them enjoy making the other jump.

Nova is especially happy that her Albino Ferret gets along with Gear.

#PhotoShoots

[dolldirector]

Fallen Realm Playlist Masterpost

Big infodump under the read more, if you like my OCs and/or agree with my flawless music taste this should be interdasting

1. MUSE - Thought Contagion

Vampire stuff, punk vibes, a nod to thriller, all of the above fit the mood of a FR show + the song is genuinely very good and I could see it being used on stage easily.

2. PAIN - Call Me

Absolute banger. But that's besides the point. I see this as being the bassist Jez/Jamie's song (with a side of Deuce as the second vocalist). Jez is a fairly quiet lad who generally keeps to himself but I always imagined that he’d be secretly very flirty and cheeky, but would mostly only really express it via music. I actually wrote a lil short story where most of FR's band (minus Rex and Isabella) find themselves in some dive bar after a show, and end up performing in the place of the no-show band that was meant to be there that night. That band ends up being the very same one that kicked Jez out, so it’s a bit of a revenge story for him. This short is on my discord by the by.

3. Emigrate - Eat You Alive

Oh boy, this is a strong one. Basically, just watch this video but pretend that Axl is Richard (the frontman). That’s it. That’s the explanation.

Being serious though, RZK is and always has been a huge influence for Axl's visual design, mannerisms and on-stage behaviours. On top of that, this is 100% the type of music he'd listen to, and the lyrics may as well just be plucked right outta his brain. Are the words meant to be aimed at Valeriya in a threatening way? Or is it a cheeky flirt with Trinity? Both? Neither? We’ll never know.

Also, completely unrelated I’m sure, here’s a wip you may or may not be able to force me to finish on stream via channel points soon...

4. Axel One - Out of the Dark

Can't exactly say much about this one cause it's spoilers, but I will say it's less about the song itself and more about the video, and that it does concern the one FR character who is already dead when the story begins.

5. Lord of the Lost - Raining Stars

Just seems to me like a real good song to perform to. I can imagine seeing acrobatic stunts in slow-mo to this track. That’s it for this one, just “I just think they’re neat”. Gorgeous song and video by an amazing band anyway though.

6. Oomph! - Supernova

Kinda the same deal as the Emigrate song, you can just insert Axl into this one in Dero’s place, along with Jez, Vlad, and Thatch. Once again the style and lyrics fit him perfectly, and this one earns bonus points since Dero is actually Axl's canon voiceclaim - specifically in this era of Oomph!’s music too.

7. Die Kreatur - Kälter als der Tod

At the risk of this thread becoming Oops All Axl TM - AH YES. This one is perfect for the point where Axl finally gets the fuck over himself, and stops being horrible to Vlad because of guitar jealousy, and they become bros.

Realistically, I doubt that Vlad - the clueless human vampire fanatic - will ever realise that Axl is a real actual vampire, but he'd be so glad that they seem to have this ~shared interest~ in them, and he'd by hyped as heck to do a performance like this with his guitar buddy. By the way, Vlad wonders to himself, isn’t it odd that he’s never seen Axl putting his fake fangs in?? Weird

As for the girl on the altar, there are a couple ideas I’ve toyed with. Random audience member for fun. Trinity but Axl gets mad jealous even though he thought and said he wouldn't. (No sharing!! Not even for jokes.) Valeriya but the poor thing is scared to the point of tears because this is just a little too close to a real experience for her and Vlad just can't figure out why. Axl insists she’s just being dramatic. Rex has to rescue her because she’s too shy to put her foot down.

Or perhaps Isabella would wanna join in, but she can't take it seriously and keeps laughing which just causes a chain reaction every time with even Axl cracking a smile. There are like a million cut takes now. Send help.

All in all a fun crossover to think about.

8. Adelitas Way - Still Hungry

This one is just Diesel’s anthem. This is the story of a young punk who can’t stop, won’t stop, never gives up and needs more. Right kinda music for him too.

9. MONO INC. - Shining Light

100% a full-cast song. I feel like the lyrics apply to a number of different things about various members of the circus' backstories, and their found family vibe together - if you think about them in super vague terms, at least. I liked to consider the vocals a duet between Rex and Isabella, being the two singers, but there are a couple lines that are kinda too adult for Bella and would make the duet sorta odd so ehhh 90% of it can be that, let’s say. (This is baring in mind that Isabella is an orphaned minor and Rex is like a father figure for her - as he kinda is for many of the members of the circus)

I also did a doodle of this. This one will also be on the force-me-to-work-on-this-WIP-live pile.

9.5. Lacrimosa - Lichtgestalt a.k.a the original version of Shining Light

Same song, just German and carrying a much darker, creepier tone. It fits in new, fun ways.

10. Oomph! - Viel zu Tief

OOPS ALL AXL TM

Lyrics are very important for this one. Once again, music is the right style, Dero is still his voiceclaim, and Axl actually speaks German in canon (and NO I didn’t do that just so Oomph! songs fit him better, shUT UP)

11. Pet Shop Boys - It’s a Sin

Bit out of left field for this playlist, sure, but with all the controversy and extremely shakey morals in FR's world and with its characters, this one just seems fitting. Plus I'd want em to cover it for a show. Banger.

Honorable mention goes to Ghost’s cover of this song. I don’t even listen to Ghost but my reaction upon finding out this exists was like “lmao yes, of course, why wouldn’t they”.

This song in general I associate instinctively with Vlad, purely because its 80s and campy and I feel like he’d be the type to listen to Ghost.

12. Destiny Potato - Lunatic

Very strongly feel this is a performance song featuring Isabella. This song fits the character - and in particular her tragic backstoryTM pretty well. I’d even go so far as to say the singer would be a pretty good voiceclaim for her if her voice wasn’t meant to be more robotic in canon. This is pretty close to what I imagine, though. Strong n sweet.

13. Nightwish - I Want My Tears Back

One of the first songs I imagined to go well with stage performances. This one for sure would be a duet between Rex and Isabella.

Plus at about 3:10 there's a long solo with a bit of back-and-forth between the guitar and hurdy gurdy (I think?) that I could 100% see Axl and Vlad doing on guitar and keytar respectively.

14. Lord of the Lost - Drag Me To Hell

Yeah this one is just Axl @ his ex

15. Lindemann - Steh Auf!

Bleib nicht liegen, es wär schade - Zirkus ist heut in der Stadt

So, this would be from Isabella’s perspective. Did I mention she was orphaned? Yeah. I guess this one is a little dark.

16. Otetsu & GUMI - Disordered Self-Restraint Girl

The song itself seems to be the story of a child who is trying to coax their parent/guardian into getting up and doing things, not realising that parent had passed away from a drug overdose. Drugs isn’t the way Isabella’s parents died, but the rest of the song fits that part of her backstory imo. Plus, it’s German, and Isabella is German, so yay!

Uh oh, vocaloid.

For a long time I've associated this one with Valeria, and her feelings towards the circus in the early days. After she's accidentally turned by Axl, Val gets effectively kidnapped by FR, taken in before she can even regain consciousness and completely against her will, since it would be incredibly irresponsible of them to just leave a fresh new vampire out in the world so they kinda don't have a choice. While she eventually finds her place and elects to stay after some time has passed, there was a period of time where she definitely would have felt trapped.

This is without even going into the fact that she's now stuck travelling and living with her would-be murderer, and - due to the fact that half of the circus don't even know non-humans exist, let alone what actually happened to Valeria - many of the people around her don't seem to care, or simply do not understand why she's so scared and stressed. It leaves her, at times, feeling like she could be killed tomorrow and nobody would give a shit.

Showtime, katanamochi bunbun furimawashi kubi kara ue hanetobashite mo - ashita ni nareba minna motodoori, waratte yurushite

Translation: Showtime, even if a sword wielder slices my head and makes it fly off, tomorrow everything continues as usual, smiling, forgiving

(Don't worry, in reality Rex, Diesel, and Thatch are there for her & understand the shit she's going through. I promise the folks in the circus do actually care. It's just hard for her to see it in this period of time.)

(There will almost definitely be more songs and doodles added here in the future, but for now that’s all folks!)

[soft-stormcloud]

Panic Cord: Please Don’t Say You Love Me [2/3]

Synopsis: When Virgil and his fiancé, Logan, take in Virgil’s ex boyfriend Roman and his boyfriend, Patton, Virgil’s forced to come face to face with his guilt. 

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Prinxiety, Analogical, LAMP, background logicality

Word count: 3580 out of 8823

Trigger warnings: Implied abusive parents, very heavy guilt, financial problems, potentially unsympathetic Virgil? It’s complicated, everyone makes mistakes.

Part One

    Logan was, of course, okay with it. 

    Virgil dared say he was excited. He took a day off work (he had a lot of personal days saved up) to spend making sure the apartment was clean and inviting, and his office was cleared out for Roman and Patton to move in. Virgil had to move his vanity to make room for Logan’s desk, but he didn’t complain. 

    When they arrived, Logan pulled Patton into a tight hug while Virgil took Roman’s luggage to carry it inside. 

    “Is this all you have?” He asked, frowning. 

    Roman shrugged and followed Virgil into the apartment. He was sort of dazed as he looked around. “Well, I had a few of Patton’s things over at my place, but when he was evicted, his landlord sold his things. I had to be fast to leave so I just filled up whatever I could in this suitcase and we left.” 

    “I’m surprised you let Patton in your house,” he said as he pushed open the door to what was previously Logan’s study, now Roman and Patton’s room. 

    “What?” He frowned. “I didn’t.” 

    Virgil set his suitcase down in the bare room and looked at him in confusion. “You said you had some of his things?” 

    Roman blushed and looked away. “Just, like, sweaters and stuff.” 

    He couldn’t hide a grin. “You’re still so sappy.”

    “It’s not exactly a bad thing!” Roma pouted. 

    “I didn’t say it was.” He didn’t bother unpacking the suitcase, leading Roman right back out. “Logan and I called in a favour with our parents- Come with us, we’re getting you some furniture.” 

    “What?” Roman smiled nervously. “You don’t-” 

    “You’re at least getting a bed.” Virgil gave him a flat look. “Besides, my mom was way too happy to help. She and Dad actually want to have dinner with you and meet Patton, whenever you’re up for that.” 

    Roman only blushed brighter. He was embarrassed, but in a good way.

    When they went back into the living room, Logan was explaining to Patton how they could afford such a nice apartment. 

    “Virgil’s and my parents got together and wrote us a cheque for our Christmas present,” he was saying. Virgil stepped beside him and wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist. “They covered half the costs. We’re also pretty lucky with our jobs, they pay us well, and we’ve been saving up for a while.” 

    As they walked out the door and headed for the apartment’s elevator, Patton looked at Logan curiously and asked, “What do you guys do?” 

    Virgil hid a smile as Logan lit up, launching into an excited ramble about his job. Logan loved his job, and he wasn’t quiet about it. He didn’t even do anything super exciting or that he’s passionate about; It was just convenient, and well-paying, and easy. He said he mostly enjoyed it because he got to put all of his energy into his studies, and his relationship with Virgil, not having to waste any to pay for basic living expenses. 

    The four of them went out to a few of the surrounding furniture stores, somehow managing to fit a nightstand, the parts of a dresser and a bed, and a shit ton of hangers inside Logan’s tiny car. They went ahead and used the leftover money to buy Patton new clothes, and a little for Roman, as well. 

    When Roman and Patton were distracted with the clothes, Logan pulled Virgil aside. “Are you doing okay?”

    Virgil frowned in confusion. “Yeah? Why?” 

    “I just… Know this isn’t exactly what you wanted.” Logan took his hand. “I’m sorry.”

    He shrugged and ran his thumb across Logan’s palm. “It’s not what they wanted either. It’s not a big deal.”

    Logan watched him carefully. Virgil seemed… Truly unbothered. 

    “Verge, you know you don’t have to answer this, but… Why did you two break up?” He laughed a little and shook his head. “I’m so confused about your relationship.”

    Guilt flooded Virgil’s system. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “No, it’s… I don’t want to talk about it.” He did want to tell Logan, both because Logan deserved to know and because Virgil thought he may feel better after getting it out. 

    But there was always the possibility that Logan would leave him, would find his actions so disgusting and mistrustful that he decided to go. 

    “It’s okay,” Logan whispered, pulling him into his arms. “Don’t panic, it’s fine. It clearly doesn’t matter anymore, whatever happened. He doesn’t seem mad at you.”

    “That’s not what I’m worried about,” Virgil mumbled. 

    xxx 

    The next few weeks living with Patton and Roman were… Interesting. For Virgil, most of it consisted of not ever letting himself be in a room with Roman alone, while also making sure Roman and Logan were never in the same room alone. It was pretty exhausting- Not just the act itself, but the guilt that came with it. Was it wrong of him to be stunting Roman and Logan’s relationship so badly? Was he proving that he hadn’t changed at all in he and Roman’s time apart, by doing pretty much the exact same thing? Was his reasoning justified in meddling with the ecosystem of their apartment? 

    Logan, someone who was always straightforward and blunt with him, didn’t seem to care. Or even notice. He and Patton were growing closer and closer by the day, and if they were a ‘normal’ couple, Virgil would be frightened every time he found Logan and Patton tangled up on the couch, asleep together, or walked in on them talking quietly and holding hands. 

For once, it was not because of the guilt. Most things Virgil did in his life was because he felt guilty. But, truly, it was because he would do anything to keep that dopey smile on his fiance’s face, and he wasn’t bothered that he wasn’t the only one to cause it. He and Logan simply had too much love to give that could be dropped onto one person. 

One day, Logan, Patton, and Virgil were in the living room, Virgil doing his makeup before work and Patton and Logan doing a puzzle, when Roman burst through the front door with sunshine in his face. 

“Love?” Patton stood and smiled, coming over to hug him. Roman picked him up and tossed him a bit, spinning him around and holding him tightly. Logan snickered as Patton squealed. “Woah- What’s going on?!”

“They’re doing auditions for Dear Evan Hansen down at the Carnation, and I got an audition!” Roman set his pink-faced boyfriend down and smiled so wide it changed the way Logan and Virgil saw him. 

Virgil had missed that smile. 

“I’m auditioning for the role of Connor!” He reached into his messenger bag, a large hole in the side patched up with the scraps of a thin red scarf, and pulled out a clean, new script. It was thin and unlaminated. “They gave me a few scenes to practice for, I need to go right now!”

Patton wasted no time following Roman into their room. Virgil was embarrassed, because half of him tried to get up, too. For a split second, he had fallen back into his old life, his old self, and as terrifying as that was, he still felt ecstatic when Roman poked his head out and said, “Hey, Verge? You wanna come, too? Patton wants to read for Zoe, but you can play Evan!” 

Virgil desperately wanted things to go back to how they were, and he desperately wanted to never go back. He was terrified that Roman being here would put him back into old habits, that all the work he had done to change and be better and build a life with Logan would vanish. But he was also so, incredibly, ridiculously happy to have Roman back, and achingly sad in a way that you only feel when you just now realized how much you’ve missed a person. He wanted to be able to pick and choose, to reach back and pluck certain elements out of his old life and drop them into his new one, and forget about the remnants. 

But life didn’t work that way. 

So as he and Patton helped Roman prepare for his audition, with Logan sitting on the bed with a book, he kind of wanted to cry. 

xxx 

“I want to be a halfling!” Patton cried in excitement. 

They were all crowded around the living room table, Virgil and Logan’s D&D Player’s Handbooks laid out in front of Roman and Patton. 

“Okay,” Logan chuckled. He was sitting next to Patton, hand planted beside his hip, so his arm was almost around him but not quite. “Then, here, these are the stats you get, you put those here.” 

When Roman and Virgil were still dating, Virgil mentioned a few times how he always wanted to get into D&D. Roman agreed, and they always said they would play together, once they had time and enough friends to make a party. The day Virgil and Logan met, Logan was wearing a Critical Role t-shirt and was buying supplies for his weekly session, a few days out. He offered to take Virgil with him, and the plan was just to watch and hang out but he got along with their party so well and already had an idea for a character, they insisted he started right away. 

It didn’t escape Roman’s attention that Virgil ended up doing something they always planned on doing together, with Logan. He was sad about it even though he knew he shouldn’t have been. How could he expect Virgil to have put his life on hold, for a reunion that neither of them thought would happen? 

There was still a part of him that felt betrayed. Roman often felt betrayed when thinking of Virgil, and it was so frustrating because he didn’t want to be mad at Virgil, especially seeing him now, seeing how much he’s changed. He was engaged, and happy about it- Excited, even. Every time someone brought up their upcoming wedding, Virgil positively lit up and couldn’t stop himself from attaching himself to Logan’s side. 

Although… As betrayed as he’s felt these last two years, as sad and as angry as he’s been… It faded as the four of them spent the night playing D&D, sinking six hours into it, making a clumsy team with Logan as their ruthless DM. It faded away for very familiar feelings to take its place. 

That morning, after Patton went to bed and Logan went to work, Roman found himself wandering towards Virgil’s room. He was so confused, and surprised, and he didn’t think he could wait any longer- He had to talk to Virgil. During their relationship, nobody could calm him down and make him see clearly the way Virgil could. He hoped they hadn’t lost that, that all this time apart hadn’t made them strangers. 

Virgil called him in after knocking, looking a little wary. He knew it couldn’t have been Logan, so it was either Patton to chew him out about all he did to Roman, or Roman himself, which had its own problems attached. 

“Hey,” Virgil said haltingly. “You need something?”

“Not really.” Roman shrugged one shoulder, not able to meet his eyes. “Just, uh…”

Virgil scooted over and Roman took the silent invitation to sit next to him, pulling the covers over his lap. “What is it?” Virgil actually looked concerned, and Roman hated that that surprised him. 

“Does it feel… Weird to you?” He risked peeking at Virgil, risked noticing the way his faded purple fell in his eyes and the way he still looked so, so tired. “Being back together?”

Virgil fell silent, and Roman was patient. He knew the face Virgil made when he was thinking, when he was choosing his words very carefully to both say what he meant and spare feelings. His eyebrows scrunched up and he chewed on his upper lip and he looked, just faintly, defeated. 

“It does,” Virgil said. “But it’s not… All bad. I just don’t think we were expecting it.” 

Roman was relieved to hear that, but it also scared him, because that meant they were thinking the same thing, and that could be dangerous. He thought of Patton, Roman’s ray of sunshine. For a short amount of time, Patton was the only reason Roman stayed alive. He loved Patton fiercely, but that kind of love was familiar to him, and he had been feeling it double lately. 

“I bet you got rid of everything.” Roman didn’t mean it as an insult, but he could acknowledge that it definitely sounded like one. 

“Actually,” Virgil said, annoyed, “I still have all of it.”

Roman’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?” 

“Yeah. I was going to get rid of it during the move here, but… I don’t know.” 

He crawled over Roman to get out of bed, and went over to the closet in the corner of the room. He disappeared inside for a minute, clothes being moved on racks sounding out into the room, and came back with a scrapbook and a shoebox. 

The shoebox was unassuming, nothing like the one Roman had spent hours decorating, that still sat somewhere inside his parents’ house, or maybe the garbage at this point. The scrapbook was a lot more exuberant- They made it together. Somehow Virgil ended up with it. 

He got back into bed and set the scrapbook into Roman’s lap. 

But then they didn’t move. 

They both wanted to open it, and they knew that, but something about it felt wrong. Were they making a mistake? 

Just as Roman started to contemplate, Virgil took off the shoebox’s lid and tossed it aside. All of Roman’s concerns disappeared at the sight inside. 

At the very top, there was a brown leaf that looked like it would crumble with a single touch. On their one month anniversary, Roman took Virgil for a walk, which was really a disguise for a secluded, romantic picnic. He took Virgil down a dirt path with overarching trees, blooming all vibrant shades of green in the summer sun. Virgil wanted to stop, to check out a little alcove of trees off the path, and they ended up staying there for longer than planned. As they made their way out, Virgil plucked a leaf off one of the trees and stuffed it in his pocket. 

Now, Virgil reached down to pick it up, and under the weight of the wind it shattered, all over a card Virgil had made for Roman’s 19th birthday. 

They both snickered, and Virgil dropped his head back, frustrated and happy. Roman flipped open the cover of the scrapbook. The first picture was from Roman’s 19th birthday, about two months into their relationship. They both had writing and scribbles all over their arms, Roman’s in purple, Virgil’s in red. Virgil squinted to try and read some of it. 

In red, Don’t Forget Your Meds!! <3  

In purple, audition at 2:30. see you there 

There were drawings, random scribbles in red and little icons and comics in purple. Their arms were like that in most pictures, and in a picture they had taken at the park, where Roman had Virgil picked up with one arm, a little ink peeked out under his raised shirt, on his tummy. 

Looking at these pictures, Virgil had never felt so dumb. 

After they finished looking at the pictures, neither of them felt like letting Roman go back to his room. Guilt gnawed at Virgil’s insides as he and Roman scooted close to the wall, leaving enough room for Logan when he got back from work. They fell asleep with their legs tangled and their bangs brushing together. 

When Virgil woke up, it was like he had never gone to sleep. A blink of time passed and he peeked over Roman’s shoulder, worried Logan had gotten home and gotten angry, left to sleep somewhere else, and was only mildly relaxed to find him there in his usual spot. He had actually scooted closer than he had to in order not to fall off the bed, almost spooning Roman. 

Virgil laid there until Logan woke up. The morning was one of Virgil’s favourite times to spend with Logan, because Logan was sleepy and affectionate like a cat, and they often spent the mornings drinking coffee in silence. Just being in the same room was often enough for Virgil. 

It wasn’t like that this time. Virgil could barely look at him. Was he angry? Was he going to accuse Virgil of cheating, or wanting to leave him? 

He knew Logan would never have this conversation without at least a cup of coffee, so he stayed quiet. Logan prided himself on being able to articulate himself, and he couldn’t do that when he was tired. 

After a little bit of Virgil stewing, and cooking breakfast for four, Logan finally turned to him and said, “What’s going on? You’re freaking out.” 

“Was that inappropriate? Are you mad?” 

Logan hummed and turned off the stove, putting the pan on a different burner. “I think for normal couples, the answer would definitely be yes, and we would need to have a talk.” He opened up his arms and Virgil sunk into them, resting his head on Logan’s shoulder. “But we’re not normal. Does he make you happy?”

That wasn’t a question Virgil was prepared for. Maybe that was stupid, but it wasn’t that he didn’t know the answer, it was that he wasn’t sure if he earned the right to say it. 

But this was Logan. He was always safe with Logan. 

“Yes.” 

“Do I still make you happy?” 

“Yes!” Virgil pulled back, looking at Logan in concern and panic. “What kind of question is that?!” 

Logan cupped Virgil’s face in his hands and kissed him, just firm enough to keep him grounded, to remember where he was. Virgil rested his hands on Logan’s waist and sighed into it, kissing him back. 

“We tell each other before we do things,” Logan mumbled. 

“Right. And the other has to be okay with it.”

“And I’m okay with it. And the other has to know the new person. Don’t I?”

Virgil swallowed and nodded. “Yes. And it goes both ways.” 

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Logan whispered. “But if you really can’t shake that feeling, then we should have a different conversation.”

Virgil and Logan had put their polygamy into practice before, but never for anything serious or long-term. Virgil felt guilty about a lot of things, it pretty much ruled his life, but this had never been one of them. 

“Morning, guys,” Patton said as he wandered into the room. Virgil and Logan pulled away so Virgil could make Patton a plate while Logan greeted him. 

Patton and Logan ate their breakfast and then headed into Patton and Roman’s room, because Logan promised to help Patton prepare for his job interview and then drive him there. While Virgil was making his own plate after finally getting hungry, Roman came into the kitchen. 

“Hey,” he said nervously. 

Virgil glanced back at him and then forward. “Hey. Are you hungry?” 

They sat next to each other with their plates of food, and ate in awkward silence. When Virgil went to reach for his drink, Roman set his hand over Virgil’s. He didn’t remember the last time his heart had jumped so high, or so much excitement flooded his system. 

“I have my audition today,” Roman said quietly. “Are you busy?” 

Virgil was walking on eggshells. Everything lately felt like a decision, like one way or another his life was changing, and he had to make the decisions without knowing what it would lead to. 

“I’m not busy,” he settled on, because it was the truth. 

Roman linked their fingers together, and Virgil squeezed his hand. Virgil thought of what Logan said, that he was okay with it- And suddenly Virgil realized that he himself might not be. As Roman leaned closer, Virgil jumped out of the chair and scrambled to grab his half empty plate and head into the kitchen. 

“Actually, I just remembered that I, uh, have a lot of stuff to get done today,” he stuttered, fumbling for a tupperware to put his leftover food into. “Sorry, I, uh, can’t make it. Sorry.”

“Virgil.” Roman frowned and stood, coming over to him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I just- I can’t make it.” Virgil slid his food into the fridge and put his dishes in the dishwasher. He tried leaving, but Roman was blocking the way out of the kitchen. “I can’t make it, okay?”

Roman looked at him in frustration, and hurt. Virgil hated how familiar that was. Of all the things Virgil wanted to see again now that Roman was back in his life, that was last on the list. “Do you think- Maybe we should talk about what happened? Because you’re acting-”

“No!” Virgil’s eyes widened. “No, what? What are you- There’s nothing to talk about. How would that help?” 

“Virgil, if you don’t want to be with me, that’s fine, but-” 

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Virgil insisted, and he kind of felt like crying. 

Roman stared at him for a moment, as if waiting for him to change his mind or say he was kidding. Then Roman grabbed his keys and his jacket, and walked out the door.

Reblogs are better than likes

[looongcat]

Ozmafia Thoughts

I posted a whole thing on my main but now that I’m using this blog for all things otome, I figured I would try to organize my thoughts because i have so many thoughts.

This is not spoiler free! But I try to label some of the major spoilers.

Caramia

Caramia is the don of the oz family, and it’s his duty to protect his territory, the people who live in his territory, and to sign papers for stuff? Man’s is always signing papers for mafia reasons :) I knew from the start that he would be my favourite. I just love a guy who’s nice. Call me basic, but I just love a man who wants me to be happy and takes cares of me? I love feeling like someone cares about me! He’s also a great cook, and who doesn’t love delicious food? Idk how to explain how I feel about caramia, I liked his personality but I didn’t love his story? I really felt like there was some distance between Caramia and Fuka, like he was in a whole nother world from her. Which you do get to chose whether she’s happy he’s in charge or like she feels lonely. I did however really liked his transfer routes. I did the axel to caramia transfer first, and I felt like it wasnt clear that they slept together, but after I did caramia to axel and I got hit with that axel CG! Anyways, I liked the transfer routes.

Kyrie

I knew I would hate this guy so much. I’m just not interested in a guy who’s a fucking tease. Like he openly admits that he likes it when you’re upset. Like I do not want that TYVM. I found him kinda tolerable in his transfer routes however, probably because he does have to try and make Fuka happy in order to get Fuka to break up with her boyfriend. He really said break up with your bf i’m bored! Also I felt it was kinda weird that he was paying for Fuka’s br*th*l visits. I think its kinda weird that he introduced her to it, and was like encouraging it. ESPECIALLY*** (major super duper spoiler here what will be censored lol) if he thought she was *****

I saw some people argue that he might not actually love fuka, but I think that one transfer route ending, kinda shows that he really does love her IYKYK. but i’m so sus about that ending where he becomes a dumbass, i really think this bitch is faking it! I do not believe him for a second!

Axel

I quite like Axel. I personally don’t mind when a guy is at this level of over protectiveness. Plus as I have mentioned, i just love it when a cold guy is soft for you. I absolutely adore that shit (like when he ask Fuka to treat him as an equal and drop the honorifics? that shit gets me T_T)  He also gets extremely jealous very easily, which becomes an area of conflict for him and Fuka and it is up to you whether you wanna forgive him or move onto another guy. Personally, I would forgive him. I would talk to him about it! But I could understand being in your first relationship and not being able to handle your emotions. I think Axel is quite sweet, and he just wants the best for fuka, which is cute.

Scarlet 

IDK how I feel about Scarlet, specifically the part where he straight up states he’s a minor! Like what’s up with that? Why couldn’t he be older? However, I did really enjoy his route. It’s super cute and slow burn-y and nothing romantic actually happens probably because he is a minor. Scarlet is kind, resourceful, caring lol. We always love a guy who’s trying his best to keep the peace among everyone, while still providing for his family.

His route also has a bit of plot. It shows what hamelin was like prior to a specific event that you learn about in robin hood. I dont have a specific order that I think this game should be played but it might be interesting to maybe play scarlet’s route after robin hood.

Caesar

As I’ve said before, I don’t mind a man who’s trynna kill me. Idk what’s up with that LOL. Well maybe I like how you can see them change from wanting to kill you to not...wanting to kill you. One thing I remember liking about Caesar was that he usually called you a woman, as opposed to a girl. Which made me feel a lot better, will elaborate more on that later. I think even though he stayed harsh to her the whole time, I liked how you could see he was slowly falling/becoming whipped for fuka. Like the comedy of him wearing that dumb cloak so y’all could watch the stars together. Or like him working at Soh’s restaurant because he had to earn the money, and not just take Soh’s money. Like I loved that! Plus the ending where he isn’t accepted but he keeps pulling dumb stunts just to see you is v cute lol.

Soh

Idk how to talk about Soh without major spoilers. Soh is so sweet. I like how he’s always striking up conversations with Fuka in all the routes, which is probably good for her, considering almost everyone else is pretty wary of her existence. I honestly liked his route and I guess that's all I can say.

*big spoilers* I know most people don’t like Soh, cause he’s the reason for all things bad LOL. Yes he’s using/deceiving Fuka the whole time, but its not like he drugged Fuka or kept Fuka captive lol. Like most of the time he’s trying to keep her safe, and trynna make her happy, even if its probably so he could gain her trust or something. I also feel like his route was kinda him giving up his grand plan, and wanting to run away and be happy with Fuka, which obviously doesnt happen. Idk i liked that he ultimately treated her right.

Pashet

What’s up with otome games giving you a girl option but not the option to actually romance the girl? Her route was fine, and the friendship that builds between Fuka and her is fine. Sorry that’s a little salty lol. I actually thought this route was really cute. I have my reservations about Fuka being in romantic relationships, so it actually was kinda nice to see her make an actual friend without catching feels. Female friendships are absolutely underrated and I’m glad Fuka was actually able to make a friend who is looking out for her best interest.

Hamelin

I usually try not to use kiss cgs but this is the only couple cg and I like using couple cgs. So sorry if this is spoiler-y to you. But how do I feel about Hamelin... you know what I very much liked him. His route is so short and it’s kinda a secret ending. In that sense his route is a little unsatisfying. It’s kinda unclear how Fuka could love him in that short amount of time... but she does. Hamelin is hard to describe because he’s so different in all the other routes. He’s kinda the main villain in most of the routes, aside from his own. You get to see a little bit more of his personality in Scarlet’s route. I genuinely think he is a good guy, and was trying his best! That’s all you can really ask of anyone right?

*slight spoiler* I’m so sad he didn’t get a redemption? You find out why he did the things that he did, and he just... doesn’t get anything? He like doesn't even appear? Just gone into the abyss. I wish Fuka and him could have gotten a happier ending, since their ending isn’t really... happy

Dr Crow

I do not like Robin Hood. Isn’t Robin Hood about stealing from the rich? Like... why is this man treating everyone the same? Why is this man even apart of the upper class? Okay to keep this brief and spoiler free lol. Dr. Crow here is the town’s doctor. He treats everyone the same regardless of what family they are from. In his eyes you are his patient and his goal is to heal you. He’s quite elegant and seems really dependable and then he hits you with some REDACTED

*spoiler & TW for drugging* Fuck this guy. I think what’s worse is that he did not have to drug fuka, she would have gone along with whatever he wanted probably. I’m guessing he did it so she would be in deep sleep. But still, ew gross. How you gonna love your wife and do that. This man is out for revenge and I dont like it.

Manboy/Dorian/Alfani

I barely like Manboy. Honestly I never heard of Dorian Gray before playing this so I was v confused (and if you heard of it then you probably will be more prepared than I was). I actually played this route really early on because i thought it might be funny. It is in fact not at all funny and I was not okay after finishing it. I am a little glad I got it out of the way though, if I left this for like last I would have been v upset and it probably would have ruined the game for me lol. I do kinda wanna replay the route now that I know about Dorian but idk.. i still hate this route so idk if I really will.

If you don’t know anything like me, this is the br*thel route. Manboy works there more as like a receptionist? Dorian Gray is the ringleader, and there’s Alfani who’s the male escort. Feel free to wikipedia Dorian Gray before trying this route. Not to spoil the story but TW you also get drugged in this route too.

Overall Thoughts

I feel lukewarm about ozmafia. In one aspect I like how each route was different and how the different endings actually like split off. I also enjoyed how there wasn’t necessarily a good ending and a bad ending, they were just different endings. Obviously in some routes, one ending is better than the other, and also in others neither endings are great lol. I also quite enjoyed the transfer routes, it felt different, innovative, like ozmafia really tried something there! And the replay ability, the game adds extra scenes that provide more insight towards what the love interest is thinking, which makes replaying to get the other endings very enjoyable. There also an extra scene before each ending, so you could also replay the same ending too. I really went into ozmafia with like zero expectations, and i was both surprised and underwhelmed? I dont think thats the right word.

*MAJOR SPOILERS* There’s this really great video essay called born sexy yesterday, that really explains why I felt slightly uneasy about the whole story. If you think about it Fuka has amnesia, she’s mentally a child but here she in engaging in adult activities with grown ass men ._. and I know I said I liked the transfer routes, but that was before I found out that Fuka is literally a 10 year old in an “adult” body. LIKE WHEN I SAW DOROTHY I WAS LIKE WHO TF LET THIS INFANT READ DORIAN GRAY? Anyways the fact that dorothy is literally like 10 years old, did not sit well with me. Yknow this story is about wizard of oz, so I did have a feeling Fuka was dorthy, BUT WHEN ISAW HER SPRITE, girl i had to look up dorthy’s age and apparently shes somewhere between 8 and 12. So, throughout the game it was a bit uncomfortable because I did feel like Fuka was mentally a child but I kinda justified it as well she lost her memories, so she’s a blank slate like a child, maybe she’ll mature up with memories but uhhh, that’s just not going to happen.

So there are my thoughts. I thought Ozmafia was really different from other otome games because of how each character got their own story, and the transfer routes felt so innovative, as well as adding the extra scenes in the second playthrough! But there’s some bad born sexy yesterday vibes that make me not okay with it. I would recommend the game though. There’s so much content, it took me like a week to finish it all. Plus the art is quite nice.

[breadclubrising]

I am hearing news about Kota Ibushi actually signing with NJPW (instead of being a free bird)... does this mean... he will finally be the heavyweight champion?

OFFICIALLY, it’s still a rumor right now—we haven’t heard an official announcement from NJPW. So, because Kota… I’m going to wait until something official is announced. Keep in mind that he did the entire Cruiserweight Classic and was in NXT during that time, but still hadn’t for-sure signed in time to win the tournament. He then continued to be in NXT for a couple of months, even though he didn’t commit, and WWE kept offering him shorter contracts, better schedule flexibility, and more money. According to him, after all of that, he physically attended a secret hotel room meeting with WWE for the sole purpose of telling them no, never, and that his mind would not be changed by any money or promises they could make.

I’m not even really saying the rumor is dubious—I think it’s likely he has done exactly as he says—I’m just saying I’m gonna wait for actual official confirmation with this guy.

That said, I’m going to write a long thing about his character arc. It’s what I do.

Let’s start with the obvious: Kota Ibushi is really fucking good at wrestling. He could show up on the doorstep of any wrestling promotion in the world and be welcomed with immediate upper-card booking, open arms, and a fuckton of money. He’s just that good. He’s pretty much universally admired by other wrestlers and wrestling critics. Very few people would argue with you if you called him one of the greatest pro wrestling talents of all time.

And if breathtaking natural ability isn’t enough (it’s not), Ibushi has all the magnetism, star power, and understanding of emotion needed to make a wrestling superstar. Sure, it often gets missed or overlooked in light of his talent, and yeah, sometimes he really sucks at promos. Still, you don’t get to be ace of a company like DDT on flips alone. Don’t let the dumb jock act fool you: he’s the whole package. Let no one tell you otherwise.

In sports, a reputation like Ibushi’s usually comes with a small museum’s worth of titles, trophies, and accolades. But Ibushi doesn’t have the trophy case to back up the praise he’s earned. And that’s because in most sports, talent usually translates directly to winning and becoming legendary—but not wrestling.

Because, of course, in wrestling, the outcomes of matches are not decided by talent, they’re chosen based on the best interests of the wrestling promotion. Ibushi has been a freelancer since 2016, which neatly coincides with when he stopped winning stuff. 

Because he’s just that good, he’s gotten far better booking than most freelancers could ever dream of. But he hasn’t gotten serious pushes, because no matter how talented someone is, it ultimately doesn’t make good business sense for a wrestling promotion to have a champion who only works for himself, to invest money and reputation in someone who can’t—explicitly will not—promise your promotion a return on your investment. Which is why Ibushi’s trophy case is so empty compared to his reputation.

He obviously knows all these dots are connected. Titles never really mattered to him, back when he had titles more often. Now, he knows the reputation he has, and he knows that all he has to do is want to be the best in the world. Ibushi doesn’t love making choices, but this one he cannot avoid: achievement or freedom. His dazzling talent grants him access to both, to an extent that’s simply not available to others. And he’s actually had a really impressive amount of cake-and-eating-it-too as a freelancer; much more than most could hope for.

But since 2016, he’s deliberately chosen freedom, knowing that the cost is achievement. 

The truth is, when you’re as talented as Kota Ibushi is, sometimes your gifts feel like a burden. No matter what you want out of life, your talent is so obvious and striking that it demands you account for what you’re doing with it, both to yourself and to other people. Your talent is bigger than whatever it is that your heart wants, and you will be obligated to answer for that, to yourself and others, constantly—wherever you go and whatever you do. And that will remain true even if fulfilling your potential has a cost you don’t want to pay.

Ask Kota Ibushi. His amazing talent meant that NJPW and DDT were both willing to give him full-time contracts at the same time; he was the first wrestler to have two home promotions. Someone as good as he is almost has to accomplish unprecedented things like that, right? No one else can, and no one else would be allowed to even try—who else would be worth that level of accommodation; two promotions both willing to not only have a guy who spends half his time making money for a rival promotion, but both push him as far as he wants to go, and work their scheduling so he could successfully maintain two schedules? And even before that, he won Best of the Super Juniors as an outsider. He was the first. He was the only one. He did that. 

Buuut, the cost of fulfilling that amazing potential was his mental and emotional wellbeing. For one, it meant he had to give up one of the things that made him happiest—being a Golden Lover. For another, his life was not his own. He later said that he learned that even one schedule is incredibly draining for him, and that one of the hardest things was how little emotional investment he was able to give his performances and the storylines happening in each promotion. 

His surgery in late 2015, the reason he left both DDT and NJPW, was for a cervical disc injury he’d been living with for a while. It probably sucked, but it was also a way out of his contracts, because the bigger and more grindingly burdensome issue was that he was horribly emotionally and mentally burned out from answering to two promotions. 

In other words, to Ibushi: dismal failure. Leaving your job for mental health reasons in Japan is not a thing. He felt like he just couldn’t hack it, didn’t deserve the acclaim he receives. In his mind, he’d failed his fans and critics, and exposed himself for being the flaky, emotionally weak weirdo he always saw in the mirror. When he was well enough to wrestle again, he left Japan, a bit humbled and humiliated. If being exceptional in Japan didn’t work, maybe just one contract, but with the world’s largest and most famous wrestling promotion, home to the majority of history’s greats, would be a way to live up to all of that potential.

And just like NJPW and DDT did, WWE was willing to make accommodations they rarely make for anyone else—a major reason WWE organized the Cruiserweight Classic was to try to sign him. Not only did they famously beg him as I noted above, they offered him contract flexibility—WWE does not do that; the vast majority of WWE contracts are quite exclusive. They let it be a pretty open secret that Kota Ibushi was definitely going be the ace and crown jewel of their new Cruiserweight division. And when he didn’t sign in time to win the tournament he was going to win (if he’d signed), they didn’t tell him to fuck off. They let him stay as long as he was willing to entertain the idea of signing. 

But he ran up against the same problem: he doesn’t do well in a tightly-controlled, heavily scheduled environment. So he told WWE no, definitely not, never. And he went home, forced to come to terms with the fact that some people can handle the schedules that come with a full-time contract, but for him, it’s too emotionally taxing. 

So this perception of him that’s out there, that ‘haha that’s our fantastic dolphin son, what a ~free spirit,’ is a little unfair.  Dude isn’t a freelancer because he’s flighty, unserious, or afraid of commitment. He’s a freelancer because he quickly gets burnt out when he has to follow someone else’s rules/schedule, and his talent gives him the privilege of naming his price. It’s not that he just doesn’t feel like being serious, it’s that he hates his life when he has the kind of commitments that come with a full-time contract. When he talked about saying no to WWE, he said “I don’t wrestle for the money anyway.” That didn’t mean I don’t care about money because I love wrestling, it meant I literally can’t function as a person if I start to think of wrestling as the thing I do to get money.

That means that when he came back to Japan in late 2016, he did so on his own terms, because that was the only way he could. His solution to the problem of burnout and emotional health has been controlling his own time; deciding where, how much, and how he works (he has a school now apparently, and he does stunt work on the side too). 

But now, as the grim march of time eventually comes for all of us, his back is to the wall and he knows: if he ever wants the titles to match his talent, if he wants wrestling history to remember him as something other than a could-have-been, it’s now or never. 

So, it’s now. He’s clenching his teeth, apologizing to Tana, going back into Serious Wrestling Star mode. He even said last night that he’s still trying to get his feet back under him, and IMO that’s because he’s still readjusting to being Professional Working Guy again. ‘Cause that’s who wins titles, and he knows that now.

Back in baby Golden Lover days, Kenny looked at Kota and saw all the things he wasn’t: natural, easy talent, and the booking to match it. Kenny was jealous and felt lesser; he worried he’d be a footnote in the history of Kota Ibushi. So when the Golden Lovers broke up, Kenny chose achievement, and achieve he did. Now, Kenny has a legacy: a huge pile of best bouts, worldwide fame, a name that will never be forgotten by wrestling history. The only titles he hasn’t held in NJPW are the NEVER Openweight Championship and the Heavyweight Tag Team Championship.

Now, Kota looks at Kenny and sees someone who didn’t have the burden of obvious easy talent, but did do all of the things you’d expect of someone who did. He’s not jealous like Kenny was, but he thinks: what have I done with what I’ve been given? Kota hasn’t held a Heavyweight singles title in NJPW. Kenny’s had all of them. Kota feels overshadowed now, irony of ironies.

Now, Kenny’s choosing freedom, and Kota’s choosing achievement. But it’s not a simple swap, because there’s a third element here: happiness. Both Golden Lovers are quite obviously happiest when they’re together. The first time they were apart, they both tried to fill the void where happiness belonged; Kenny with achievement, Kota with freedom. Then, they came back together, and happiness was so important to Kenny that in the end, when he won the biggest prize, he managed to tell a story in which all that he sacrificed and fought for was ultimately, distantly, secondary in importance to being happy. 

Now they’re apart again, but don’t mistake it for the same story. Before, they thought they could replace happiness with personal fulfillment. They learned, after years of unhappiness, that they couldn’t. This time, the Golden Lovers aren’t under any illusions that they’re going to replace happiness with what they’re doing instead. Bittersweetly, the lesson is the same as before, but from the other direction: personal fulfillment isn’t compatible with happiness right now. Now, both of them are setting their sights on accomplishment, but it seems pretty clear that they’re doing so with the intention of being back together as soon as they can be. 

Serious Wrestle Guy is explicitly not personally happy. But Ibushi’s at his best when he’s happy, even if he’s not winning titles. Titles make him feel fulfilled, and he needs that, but being a Golden Lover makes him happy, and I think he’ll always return there, and so will Kenny.

In fact, I’d guess that’s why there’s been no announcement about Kota’s contract: even from the interview posted the other day, there were some allusions to the possibility of working with Kenny again in the future. I would imagine that NJPW is still trying to figure out their relationship with Kenny, and Kota’s still trying to figure out how involved he can be with AEW. (I think I just outed myself as a Golden Lovers Truther—yeah, I think it’s somewhat likely that they’re an IRL couple, and as many IRL wrestling couples do, they’re working on separate continents.) My guess is Kota’s contract won’t be final until those details are ironed out. I don’t think they’d do all that work to get back together only to close and seal the door on it.

Only time will tell, but Kota hasn’t changed: fundamentally, he is still motivated by happiness. It’s just that he was happy long enough to know he can have it forever if he wants it, but he only has a few more years to get the trophy case his talent demands, to be the Kota Ibushi he thinks wrestling history deserves.

[captialrogers]

A Little Heat Never Hurt (Pietro Maximoff x Reader)

Summary: [y/n] is missing their yearly visit to their hometown and the fire festival that goes along with it. But when a mission has them traversing across the country with the Avenger of their dreams, emotions start to smoulder like the ashes of a bonfire.

Warnings: Fluff, maybe. Angst. My writing.

Word count: 2,967

AN: This was written for Mimi’s Fall into marvel challenge and I had the prompt of Bonfire. I’m sorry this is late, @captain-rogers-beard Thank you for understanding and allowing me to take an extra day! You are honestly the best! I tried to make this as gender neutral as possible. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing this! 

Marvel Masterlist / Character Masterlist

There was something about small towns that caused people to become festival happy. Everywhere you looked there were banners and flags announcing one celebration or another. Most of them were an excuse to drink and forget that, in the coming month, the whimsical charm that drove hoards of tourists into the town would disappear and all that would be left was the bitter landscape of reality — steeped in the balmy and grey weather of winter. However, there was one such festival that always lit the celebration bug in you.

Bonfires.

Despite the general idea that bonfires were for teenagers looking to get drunk and lucky, they were your favourite. There was something in the way that they brought everyone together regardless of the years of family disputes or the petty small-town drama that seemed to plague the idle chitchat between housewives. Bonfires were the lifeblood of the winter — signifying the end of the autumnal season and the beginning of the bleak cold that settled in your bones and refused to move until the middle of spring.

Bonfires ignited something primal deep within you. Something that, for centuries, had been dormant. Waiting for the heat and comfort of roaring flames to surface, once again, and take over. You shivered at the thought. There was nothing you wanted more than to be back in your hometown where the woods knew you well and the end of autumn fires welcomed you with open arms.

But there was nothing you could do about it. You had an obligation to the group of individuals the world called heroes. As you sat in the conference room, listening to the newest mission, you tried not to focus on missing out on the one thing that brought you joy in the winter months. So you nearly missed it when Captain Rogers said your name. “I’m sorry, what?” You blinked a few times trying to cover for the fact that you hadn’t really been listening.

“You’ll be leading this mission, [y/l/n],” Steve said, placing his hands on his hips, knowing full well that you had been selectively listening.

“But I’m not a field agent.” You countered, flabbergasted. How did he think that you were suited for field work when you could barely function in the office? “I’m going to mess this up.”

“You have combat training just like everyone else, [y/l/n]. It’s a reconnaissance mission and you won’t be alone.” Steve smiled at you before continuing, “Besides, it’ll be a good experience and who knows, maybe you’ll like it.”

You doubted that. But it did put you at ease when Captain Rogers said you wouldn’t be alone. Secretly, you hoped that you’d be with Agent Romanoff. She knew what to do and could teach you a few things. But if it was to be her, then why were you leading? Surely she was your senior and would therefore lead.

“Pietro will accompany you,” Steve answered your question before you had the chance to ask it.

“Him? Why him?” As the words left your mouth you immediately regretted them. It wasn’t that you disliked the speedster. In fact, you liked him entirely too much. That was what the issue was. You looked across the large table at the silver-haired avenger, guilty at your outburst. Pietro wasn’t looking at you. He was looking straight ahead, jaw clenched. He was mad and you could see it in the red tips of his ears.

“Because you both need the field experience.” When you opened your mouth to argue, Steve held up his hand to silence you. “You leave in 5 hours. Better get packing.” With that, the Avengers around you stood and made their way out of the conference room. The first being your mission partner, though it wasn’t a shock, Pietro was gone in a blur and the only evidence of him ever being in the room was an evaporating trail of electric blue.

As he passed you, Steve gripped your shoulder reassuringly. But it did little to comfort you. There was nothing that could make you feel better about your upcoming mission. It was great that the Avengers thought you were ready for bigger and better things, but you weren’t so sure that you were.

After a few minutes of silence, you left the completely empty conference room and slowly made your way to your room. Just when you thought the day couldn’t get worse, it had. Sure, you were field trained, but it had mostly been simulated fights and tasks where you could start over if you failed. Regardless of the fact that this was a reconnaissance mission and not a deep undercover one, things could still go south. Your cover could be blown. Anything, really, could happen. And after the stunt you had pulled during the debriefing you wouldn’t blame the speedster for leaving you if things really did go wrong.

When you finally made it to your room, you closed the door and began packing, though you didn’t know what you’d need. So you decided on a good variety of things. Basic things. But they would get you out of a pinch if need be.

The rasp yo your door came a few hours later and with a jolt of hesitation, you opened it. Standing on the other wide was none other than Wanda and the look on her face said that she wasn’t there for fun.

“You need to talk to him before that quinjet takes off.” She said, storming into your room.

“Hello to you too.” Closing the door you followed behind her and sat on your bed. “There really isn’t anything to talk to him about.”

The auburn haired woman sighed. Clearly, she didn’t like what was on your mind. “There is a lot the two of you need to talk about. But those can wait. Right now, you need to make sure he doesn’t ruin this mission and you can only do that by speaking with him.” At first, you didn’t quite understand what she meant, but then it clicked.

“He’s sulking? Really at a time like this?” Scoffing, you stand and open the bedroom door. “He is such a child.”

“He’s not the only one,” Wanda muttered as you walked down the hallway towards the speedsters room.

Upon reaching it, you knocked on the door and after a few moments, you reached for the knob and tried to open it. It was locked. Which you thought was unusual as Pietro never locked his door. Thinking that it would be better to leave the man alone, you spun on your heel and quickly made your way back to your room. You didn’t have to tell Wanda that you didn’t talk to her brother. She already knew.

Shaking her head, the woman left leaving you to call out after her. “The door was locked! I couldn’t do anything about it!” Perhaps Pietro wasn’t the only child in the compound. You hated that you were justifying not making amends with having the obstacle of a locked door to stop you. But you really didn’t feel like pulling out your lock kit just to break into an automatic door.

Stomping into your room, you grabbed your mission bag, flung it over your shoulder and stomped out, slamming the door behind you. You’d corner him once the two of you were on the quinjet and a thousand miles above ground. That way, he’d have to listen to you.

However, that was easier said than done. Pietro avoided you the entire flight to the small Northern town. If he wasn’t looking over the mission files, he was ‘sleeping’. Once the jet landed and the ramp was lowered, the speedster was nowhere to be seen.

“You really need to fix this, [y/n], or your mission will be 10 times harder than it needs to be.” The slightly robotic voice of Tony’s current AI said as you left the jet, shoulders slumped and bag heavy on your shoulder.

“Yes, Friday, I know.” You muttered looking down at your watch. The jet had landed 30 miles from the town and there was, supposedly, a car waiting on the other side of the woods where you were currently standing. if you walked at a quick pace, you would be able to make it into town before nightfall and that’s just what you did. You walked as fast as you could to the waiting car.It surprised you to see that it was running and there was a distinctive figure sitting in the driver's seat. You had thought for sure that Pietro would have left you there to fend for yourself, but he hadn’t and you were grateful.

“What took you so long?” The silver-haired male asked when you opened the car door, his lips curling into a cheeky smirk.

You looked at him shocked as you slid into the passenger's seat, “Well, you know, I don’t have super speed.” In all honesty, you were glad that he was talking to you again. Maybe all he needed was some time to himself. Whatever it was, you were thankful that he was willing to put your outburst behind you. “Listen, about earlier—“

“Don’t worry about it. Let's just focus on what we came here to do.” His accent was thick and his voice was low. You suppressed a shiver as you finally closed the door and he began to drive into town. As you drove through the streets you noticed all of the tell-tale signs of it being a small town and a tight-knit community. There were banners and hanging flags letting everyone know when and where there would be a festival and the sidewalks were bustling with families and couples, getting early holiday shopping done. It was hard to imagine that AIM had set up shop in the area. But evil companies and people didn’t care where they were so long as the locals were and remained ignorant of their dirty deeds.

Before you approached your final destination, you leaned forward and opened the glove box. Inside sat a manilla folder with some of the mission information. The pair of you were to act as if you were a young couple visiting the small town in order to decide if you’d like to move there to start your future together. Pietro was supposedly tired of the hustle of city life and you wanted a quaint house or cottage, which was hard to find in urban centres. You would be staying in a bed and breakfast in the outer limits of the town and spend the next week getting to know the town. This, however, was a cover for what you would really be doing. According to underground sources, AIM had set up a new facility where they were experimenting with genetic material and technology, as per usual. This source had said that AIM henchmen and women had been infiltrating mutant communities and trying to steal genetic material from those they believed would yield the best results. Their scientists sought to make better, more controllable human weapons. They didn’t want to fail as they had with M.O.D.O.C.K.

You and Pietro were there to see if the information was legitimate. The team had chosen you for one of two reasons — or so you believed. AIM had no idea who you were so they wouldn’t see you snooping around if they were, in fact, there and you could handle the speedster better than the others. Which was completely untrue. You had the hardest time dealing with the sassy remarks and flirtatious nature of the Sokovian heartthrob.

“Do you think AIM is really here, in this peaceful town?” You closed the manilla and shoved it back into the glove box. “I can’t imagine that they’d be bold enough to do such a thing.”

“But that is exactly what they would want you to think, no?” Parking the car in front of a Victorian style house, Pietro looked over to you. “Where better to so top secret experiments than in a sleepy little town.” Without waiting for you to respond, the silver-haired male opened the driver’s side door and stood. You knew that, in order to pass as a regular couple, Pietro would have to slow down his movements drastically which was no easy feat. It was simple for the male to go fast, that’s what his muscles had been mutated to do. Going slow, on the other hand, was incredibly difficult.

You opened the passenger’s side door and lifted your mission bag over your shoulder only to have it taken by your partner. You gave him a look only to have him shrug his shoulders in response. No better time than the present, you thought, to act like we’re in love. As soon as the pair of you walked into the bed and breakfast, you were greeted by an older woman standing behind a solid wood desk.

"Welcome! You must be the [y/l/n]'s, please come in."

"Thank you. It sure is getting chilly out there." It was odd hearing Pietro's usual accent suppressed with a higher tone American one. You had to dig your nails into your palms to keep a straight face. The woman nodded and then as if finally noticing you, handed the speedster the key to your shared room.

"You look absolutely beat, so I'll let you rest up before the bonfire tonight." When you looked at the older woman confused, she continued, "You will be coming to the Autumn Bonfire, won't you? It's the best way to get to know the community."

Blinking, you nodded. "Of course we will! We weren't aware that it was this evening, did we, babe?"

Pietro wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close to his body, "Now that you mention it, I do remember seeing something about on the town's website. I guess I forgot about it." Smiling, the silver-haired male escorted you from the front desk and up the stairs to your room.

There was something in his voice that made you think that he, in fact, didn’t forget that there would be a bonfire. That there would be a festival in the same town as the mission objective that you were undoubtedly missing in your yearly routine. So when you finally made it into your room, you dropped your bag and sat on the overly plush bed. “How did you know?”

“How did I know what?” Pietro stood in front of the window, looking out at the woods behind the bed and breakfast. “There’s some sort of disturbance a few miles from there, I might go and check it out.” He turned to look at you over his shoulder, “What?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing. Should I prepare as well?”

“I do not see the point in us both going. I will be back before you know it.” With that, the silver-haired man was gone.

———

Pietro had yet to return and you had been forced to lie to the host by saying that your partner would meet you at the bonfire. Although, this wasn’t a complete lie. He would be back or so you hoped. There was only so many lies and fake smiles you could force feed to the young couple who had just gotten married or the elderly couple who are looking after their grandkids for the weekend. They were all so domestic. So happy. So ordinary. It was difficult to see them as AIM agents or evil scientists.

The longer you stood around the flickering flames, the more you felt at ease and as if your mission was on the back burner. The only thing that mattered was the warmth of the fire against your skin.

“We had bonfires in Sokovia, you know. Not as beautiful as this one, but still beautiful.” His accent was a whisper in your ear and you turned to face him. Your skin prickling with ghost flesh and electric energy. “They were filled with government propaganda and objects of oppression. They had a completely different feeling.”

“I bet they did.” Wrapping your coat around your figure you huffed, “Was there anything in the forest?”

Pietro shook his head. “We can talk about it later. Let’s just enjoy the evening.”

But you couldn’t really enjoy the evening. Not when the red and orange glow dance off his strong features and silver-blond hair. “What I said earlier today, I didn’t mean it.”

“[y/n], you don’t—“

“No, I need to say this. So please just listen.” When the man turned to look at you, you continued. “When I expressed my displeasure with you being my partner, it wasn’t because I don’t like you. It’s that I…” Swallowing, you closed your eyes. “You make me nervous. Like weak in the knees nervous. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to focus on the mission if you were here.”

Pietro reached for your hand and smiled, “You are not the only one who was nervous.” When the speedster saw the look of confusion flash across your face he continued. “You also make me nervous.”

There was no way. No way in heck that you made him nervous. “I don’t understand. You’re always flirting with others and with me and it’s hard.” Without saying a word, the silver-haired male placed your hands onto his chest. You could feel his heart beating faster than usual. “I make you nervous?”

“You do. You make me a lot of things.” He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours. “You have for a while.”

“I have for a while?” You asked, dumbfounded. He nodded and rubbed his nose to yours, cupping your cheeks in his hands. “I make you nervous.” It was barely a whisper but it made the Sokovian chuckle before he placed a gentle kiss to your lips.

[thehollowprince]

Hey, it’s the “coding” anon here and honestly that answer to my question was excellent and the exact reason I come to your blog. I would absolutely love to hear you go on about the fetishization of m/m relationships!

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a week, and I want to apologize. I'm sorry for taking so long to get to this one, but I'm overworked at the moment. I've been pulling 60+ hour work weeks, by myself and I haven't had off since the first of December, so I'm a little tired. But I'm here and I'm ready to murder this bitch of a subject.

For starters, and for context, in case anyone who sees this doesn't follow my blog or, if you do and don't really pay attention, I am a gay man, so a lot of this comes from my own personal experience.

Now, onward my fandom soldiers.

M|M Fetishization & Objectification

I've only been super active within fandom spaces for the last couple of years. Before that, I just scrolled through Tumblr and reblogged gifsets and fluffy headcanons and whatnot, but even then I noticed a trend in fandoms that made me uncomfortable. That trend was the overabundance of gay men (chatacters) in fandom works, especially when there either weren't any gay men in that show or book or whatever.

I'm not at all saying we need less of that. I want and need more gay characters in the things I watch and read. That's actually one of the criteria I look for before I start a new show, or a book series or comics. I want to see myself represented in the media I consume, even if it is only this one tiny piece of who I am. But the problem for me arose when I saw all these fan works and headcanons and gifsets and thesis length metas about gay or bi male characters that were neither of those things in their original source material.

The biggest examples of this occured in fairly popular shows that I loved at one point, but do to a combination of bad writing and then the horrible fandom, drove me to actively dislike and avoid them. And that's always a sad thing, when you end up losing the love you had for something because others just won't let you enjoy it as it is.

Those two examples are Teen Wolf and Supernatural.

For years I watched people go on and on and on and on about Stiles Stilinski and Dean Winchester and how they were bisexual and so on and so forth.

There's nothing wrong with headcanoning a character as gay or bisexual, especially when those characters are severely lacking on screen and on paper. The problem arose when the fandom at large started to ignore the ACTUAL gay or bisexual characters that are in these shows and focus solely on their headcanons as the only representation in the show.

To start with Teen Wolf, we had, in the first season, an openly gay character that everybody in the school loved, that being Danny Mahealani. This character was introduced as gay from the very start, but oddly enough, there is almost no large fandom meta or fics or anything about him. In fact, a lot of his traits and qualities ended up transferred to Stiles, such as his intelligence and overall popularity. Hell, even Danny's attraction to Derek was stolen and transferred to him. These aren't things that Stiles is overall known for in the actual canon. He's clumsy and socially awkward and on the outskirts of the school like Scott (the main character) and has been obsessed (to the point of being considered a stalker) with one girl since elementary school, but somehow, in fandom, Stiles is suddenly the genius polyglot queer with severe depression who has a crush on the broody muscular werewolf who just wants somebody to love him.

Fandom created this portrayal of the character that didn't exist anywhere in the fandom except for his appearance. The reason I saw behind this was twofold. 1: fangirls (fandom is mostly female) want to see two "hot" guys kiss and get it on because they get off to it, much in the same way that straight men get off to lesbian porn. 2: Stiles (or any of these headcanoned characters) becomes a sort of self insert.

What I mean by that second one is that women and girls find a male character that's not "too masculine", usually kind of gangly or skinny, somewhat on the effeminate side. Someone that they can project their ideas and insecurities and so forth onto so that they can that pursue that relationship with the hunky manly man that they want to bang.

You may be asking yourself, "Why don't they just use one of the female characters as a self insert?" and I'm here to tell you that I have neither the time nor the experience to go into detail about internalized misogyny and how effects the way women do almost everything, even watching and interpreting their media.

But the reason they chose the male character is that, years ago, during the dark days of FF.net there was a lot of self insert OCs that infiltrated almost every level of fanfiction. Which caused the fandom gatekeepers to rear out of their hibernation and just shame anyone who tried to introduce an Original Character to this already beautiful world and ruin it with their lusts. Thus the OCs slowly disappeared and identifying with the male sidekick was born. And this is generally where we get the whole "my smol gay son!" bullshit. (side note: please keep in mind that 75% of shows are male characters and their problems, which is another cause for female fans to identify solely with men.)

So, for years, I watched Danny, and then his boyfriend Ethan, being shoved aside in fandom spaces so that the fans could focus Sterek (Stiles and Derek) despite the fact that both characters were stared to be heterosexual and that, on screen, they expressed nothing but mutual dislike for one another, if not outright hatred. This got so bad that Sterek, the crack ship whose members had no romantic or sexual interactions whatsoever, managed to beat (by a very large margin) actual gay ships from both this show and others in a fan poll. It got even worse when the character of Danny was written off the show (with no explanation) and we were introduced to the character of Mason.

Mason Hewitt was everything that fandom!Stiles was. He was smart and funny and openly gay and crushing on a hot werewolf. He even did the research that the fandom loved to attribute to Stiles, literally everything that the fandom had Stiles doing in fanon, but somehow the love for him (Mason) wasn't that big of a note in the fandom. I mean, Mason was even a major plot point of season five and the pack's mission to stop the Beast, but i heard nothing but cricket chirps from the fandom.

You'd think that after Stiles was written out of the show for the last season that maybe Mason will get some love now, right?

Wrong!

I didn't think it was possible to get any worse, but the fandom proved me wrong. Because instead of focusing all their pent up energy on Mason and his boyfriend, Corey, who had a number of cute moments in that final season, these fans focused on another crack ship that had no basis anywhere except in their fantasies. That ship being Thiam, which is based, once again, around two characters who actively dislike, if not outright hate, each other and even physically assault one another. But no, that apparently is a display of affection by someone who is emotionally stunted and just needs love to blossom and be his true self.

You notice how often the fetishization of homosexuality (even if only imagined) intersects with woobification?

You'll notice, if you look at Danny and Mason, that they're both POC, with Danny being brown (Hawai'ian) and Mason being black. Now, as I've said before on this blog multiple times, I am the Whittest White Man to ever White, so I don't have any qualifications to talk about fandom racism, so I'm just going to leave that little nugget there for you to think about and interpret how you will.

Moving on to Supernatural...

Before we start with this one, understand that I have not watched this show outside of an episode here and there since season eight, because I realized that no, this show wasn't going to get any better, so if any of this is contradictory to what has happened over the past six seasons (god, this show needs to die!) I do apologize.

Dean Winchester... I never really liked this character, especially as the show went on and I started to actively dislike and then, hate him. So it was annoying not being able to go into any aspect of the Supernatural fandom without coming across a post about Dean and his issues or his Bi sexiness or how his brother was mean to him.

Also, people, understand that this wasn't a new revelation for me. My dislike for Dean and the fandom's obsession with making him bisexual just so they could hook him up with Cas wasn't an overnight decision. I was there...

I was there at the Beginning, when this show first aired, when the ONLY constant characters on this show were Sam and Dean. I endured the hellfire that was Wincest and its infection of almost the entire fandom. Like, that right there, that was one of the most extreme cases of m|m fetishization I've ever seen, because the fandom needed to get off to two guys being together so badly that they turned to actual brothers for want of any other male character.

That's why Destiel immediately became so popular, because here was another guy that we saw with semi regularity that wasn't rated to the Winchesters, obviously they were meant to ship them.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "I thought this bitch was going to talk about gay fetishization, not his dislike for one character?" to which I'll just say I very easily go off tangent. But all of that is relevant because, come one of these later seasons, there was a scene where Dean was at a bar and the (male) bartender hit on him, and he didn't react negatively or homophobic.

Oh, my God, I watched my dash and the tags explode in post after post, meta after meta, about how Bi Dean was canon confirmed! Now he and Cas will HAVE to be together, because its canon that Dean likes guys. and Cas is an angel, who doesn't follow human sexual limitations, and... blah, blah, blah.

Cut to a few years later, and we're introduced to a character named Max Banes, a witch and hunter, who is openly gay and flirts with Sam in his first appearance. Where were all of his metas and fanfics and headcanons? Granted, he only appeared in two episodes, but I have watched people in this and other fandoms build mountains our of molehills, going on and on about how two male characters weren't actually straight and how they were destined to be together because the once wore similar style shirts a couple of seasons apart, or because of a carnation in a jacket pocket that signified love via the Victorian flower code (or something like that), or how the wallpaper of that room they shared a scene in was a subtle clue to their true desire for each other, etc.

And I'm not exaggerating there, those are actual examples I've seen in fandoms over the years.

But back to Max, why is it that he was left along the wayside, despite fitting most of the criteria that fandoms love in their m|m ships while Dean had entire thesis level posts about that time he shared a glance with Castiel or he let a bartender hit on him and not get upset?

And its not just these two shows, not by a long shot. If you were to go into literally any fandom of a certain size or bigger, you will come across fans putting two straight characters together because of "the chemistry" they have. Even if those characters are confirmed to be straight - especially if those characters are confirmed to be straight. Because when these loud fans don't get their crack ship that they rub one out to, they scream queerbaiting and homophobia and oppression, harassing the actors and producers and directors and writers.

Here are some others that just pop to the front of my mind...

Asher Millstone from How To Get Away With Murder (saw him shipped with Connor a lot, despite Connor's actual boyfriend)

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson from BBC's Sherlock

Tony Stark from Marvel comics (all because of one panel where he said "ladies and gents" when he announced he was off the market

Literally any male character in the MCU, which is his we get the things like Stucky and Stony that permeate the fandom on almost every level (and some leeway is given here because of the MCU's lack of wueer characters)

Klaus Mikaelson and Stefan Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries/The Originals (honestly, I was surprised that people in the TVD fandom weren't immediately all over Josh and Lucas, because they're literally everything that fans want and use in their headcanon gays)

Kol Mikaelson and Jeremg Gilbert, also from TVD

Elia and Filippo from Skam Italia (despite there being, once again, actual gay characters on this show. Hell, the entire second season was dedicated to a character coming out of the closet and being with a guy)

Etc.

I could go on and on but then this post would seem infinite.

Closing thoughts, please keep in mind that I am just one guy and that my opinions don't represent everyone in fandom spaces. But also bear in mind, that my frustrations are well founded and valid from my own experiences in the fandom.

My sexuality and the fact that I'm attracted to men is not a toy for a bunch of sexually repressed fangirls who think two guys being together is hot.

[wavemaker9]

/Someone/ asked for audrey/austin kink list so yeah, let’s talk about all the kids, yeah? I think for this i’ll cover the same kinks for everyone and just explain if they’re into it or not. Also I’ll be talking more about the guys but list any differences for the girls as they come up

Kyle:

Somewhat vanilla but can easily be led into some more kinky things depending on what. He’s verse with a top preference. He enjoys topping more but is willing to bottom if desired, though I think is a little more chill with bottoming for guys than girls because. Y’know, kyle brown and his lowkey sexism. Also has a more dominant than submissive pref, and is less okay with playing sub to someone. Can be convinced to, but he doesn’t like it as much, and even when he does it, he’s not really so much submissive as just /not/ dominant. Has to really like/trust a person to play any sort of actual submissive role and even when doing it, li ke. He’ll never get to diego levels. No one can get to diego levels. 

Knife/blood play - In human verse, he’ll often try it out but be very ~~~ doing it and feel really bad afterwards. It’s not something he gets to enjoy, usually, he’s doing that for his partner. In Nation verse, he’s a little more okay with it if his partner is also a nation since he knows they’ll come back. I think he’d be more worried doing it to a human if they asked though because he’d worry he’d fuck up and overstep because of the difference in what their bodies can go through. 

There’s a running thing lingering from the days in prev rp group where kyle was dating a yao where like. A lot of people in the group kept just assuming, either based on old headcanons, prev australias they’d interacted, or whatever, that he had a pain kink. And i’ve brought that up of that commonly being a thing that he gets mistaken for having a lot. It’s something i think was also brought up as true for mel of being mistaken as it being a kink thing? That seeking out pain as a coping mechanism isn’t the same thing as seeking it out for sexual pleasure and that it frustrates him a lot when people assume the second is true just because the first is. Because pain during sex often isn’t a turn on and usually is either a hard turn off he won’t even try or something he’s only willing to do to make his partner happy. The difference being that part of the reason he’s putting himself into those situations is like. A mix of giving him more control over his life. That’s not all the reason, but it’s a factor for sure, and so if you suddenly have someone else causing that pain instead, especially in a situation where there’s a vulnerability to a point, it has a one two punch of taking that control he needs away from him as well as putting him back in a situation of someone /else/ hurting him, which i brought up in diego’s post makes him uneasy at best because he /grew up/ dealing with that. That’s /why/ he needs his coping mechanisms in the first place. Like again, he’s more willing to roll with being hurt by someone he trusts, by someone who eases him into it and is careful and attentive and checks with him regularly and does their best to help keep him calm and happy too. But just average people like oh you hurt yourself all the time, you must have a pain kink, haha. It makes him almost unreasonably mad? He tries to be such a chill boy but that always sets him off. 

Also sometimes it’s not even a coping mechanism? He’s got pretty good luck but sometimes he /did/ just have an accident and he didn’t mean to hurt himself. That’s part of why when he was growing up, it was harder to confirm if he really was in a physically abusive home for a lot of people, because kyle was full of energy and didn’t think things through and would just do things because they seemed exciting and not think about the danger and then get hurt. There was plenty of proof that a lot of the injuries he got /were/ his own doing from just being too much of a rambunctious kid. At school or sporting events or play dates or parties or parks or etc etc etc, there were plenty of times people /saw/ kyle hurt himself. And usually it was minor but sometimes the whole class sees kyle try to climb on top of the slide in the school playground and fall off and break his arm and they know yeah no no one did that to him that was just an accident. And like. He never blamed summer for anything when he was younger, mainly because if she /did/ punish him with anything, she always blamed it to him on something he did. He misbehaved in some way and /that’s/ why he deserves this. Because she really was sweet most of the time to him when he behaved. Sometimes there was a general bitterness, especially after the divorce in any AU which always tends to make things worse for kyle, but most of the time he only dealt with her worse shit when he did something against what /she/ wanted, which to her, was misbehaving. And it wasn’t until his late teens that he started to really separate “me doing a stunt and hurting myself” blame vs “someone said i did something wrong and so hurt me” blame. Every injury he got as a kid/young teen he admitted to being his fault because he thought it /was/. And I think that’s another factor of like, why pain kinks aren’t fun for him? Some small part of his brain always says, “If someone’s hurting you, it’s your fault because you’re bad” and like. ...like that really, really sucks? Ugh, this section got dark, sorry guys. 

Bondage - can be into when done to others. It’s not a specific kink he looks for, but he’ll enjoy it if his partner is into it. Another hard turn off if someone tries to do it to him. Even just holding his wrists with your hand can make him uncomfortable, though pinning him at other points like the shoulders is usually acceptable as long as he can feel/trust that there /would/ be give enough to pull free if he wanted. He has to /really/ trust a person to even consider allowing them to do it and even then he’ll be real anxious the whole time so it’s not super fun for him anyway. It factors into his claustrophobia, he just feels so uncomfortable being restrained.

Breath play - another he can be ~ to okay with when done to others, but has to be eased into by someone he trusts if they want to try it on him and can make him /exceptionally/ anxious if not just panicking him into having to stop early. It’s similar to the bondage where you have to restrict him by holding onto his throat in some way to do it so it makes him ~~~ about at best. 

edging/orgasm control/etc etc etc - he’s not super into for himself but often loves it for others. Bit of a power trip, having that control over the other person + hearing the noises they make in growing desperation. Same with like over stimulation, all that shit he /loves/ doing to his partner. 

Pegging - would do it for his partner but again, he always prefers to top if he can, so. If partner really wanted to top, he’d do it for them, though. He’s not against it, just goes against preferences. Sometimes he’ll surprise offer to bottom for special occasions though so very likely to happen if he knows his partner would like it. 

Power play - his fave as long as he’s the one with the power. Another one where he can be okay with playing sub rarely for someone he really likes, and then it’s still like a very basic level. He likes the feeling of the power though. A royalty roleplay thing came up a couple times between kyle and ivan during hetalr after some prompting factor (i think it was kyle winning CAH), and both were surprised by how much kyle enjoyed it and got into the role after a little bit. He likes being able to tell people what to do on shallow matters and have them look up to him as if he’s the be all. That’s prolly a fave manifestation of power play. 

praise/begging - doesn’t like to beg but likes being begged to. Loves praise whether giving or receiving. Both likes to talk about how great partner is but also. God there’s this quote mako says in counter/weight that’s part of the list of why i always put kyle in that role in that xover, what was it? Oh! This group tries to recruit mako for a job because of his skills and he’s like oh thank god i’ve been wanting to talk about how good I am at this + “Will you keep telling me that I’m doing a good job [if I work for you]?” god i can’t believe mako trig has a praise kink. I. no, yes I can. Yes i absolutely can. Anyway, yeah that’s kyle, please tell him he’s good at everything or even just at anything, he needs to hear that so desperately please.

Rough play/spanking/slapping/biting/etc - as covered, some he’s okay with doing, some he’s not. Choking can be fine as long as he doesn’t have to do it too hard (relative to durability, like with nationverse). I think he’d be more okay with spanking someone than slapping someone. Pulling their hair he can do easily, etc etc. Much less okay with a lot of the stuff being done to him, though a part of me is continuously tempted to give him a slight hair pulling kink to go along with the ahoge things from nationverse. Speaking of, i refuse to change the idea that both nationverse!kyle’s ahoge and eyebrows are sensitive. It’s too fantastically dumb of an idea, i won’t part with it. 

Biting - I don’t think most AUs have this (not that he’s /against/ it, it’s just not specifically a kink) but just a friendly reminder that hybrid au kyle is /very/ into biting but also /very/ anxious about asking his partners if it’s okay because most people don’t want shark teeth digging into their skin. Lucky for him ivan is not most people. I think kylee might be some kind of snake or lizard or something in hybrid au. Listen idk if the one she’d be would be into biting like the grey nurse shark is, but also in comparison with kyle smiling and ivan just seeing sharp jagged shark teeth like hell yeah. Kylee smiling and asya seeing sharp fangs. Oh kylee with a snake tongue! Hey, hey guys! Kylee with a snake tongue tho! Kylee doing the snake tongue dart out thing sometimes. 

Maybe lizard because if anyone should get to be a snake it’s probably Al. though i feel like he was a bison too in prev drawings. Not sure if that’d change now that all the kids are being made their own people. I guess tehy could also just both be snakes too, dif types or whatever. God okay but kylee with the scales in the cool color patterns on her skin. 

Austin:

The most vanilla. Honestly since he’s ace-spec, he doesn’t really have any kinks that he’s particularly into, it’s just whether he’d be willing to try it for partner and how. When he does have sex, more verse. He doesn’t have enough experience to either prefer or be good at either top or bottom one way or the other. It’s just kind of what his partner wouldn’t want to do. Also would be more likely to lean on the submissive side earlier on, though with more experience he could get confident enough to take on a more dominant manner if preferred. He wouldn’t be like. Aggressive or passionate, even as he got more confident. You’d have to rile him up (either getting him angry and /then/ leading into sex or just teasing him enough where he gets upset about it past being able to keep his emotions in check) or something to get a reaction like that. Even if like, asked to try by his partner, i think he might if he cared about them enough, but it’s tough for him because expressing strong emotions like that makes him feel so uncomfortable. To him it’s a sign of weakness in him, he should be /better/ than that, he should have a good check on his emotions, he tries /so/ hard to keep a good check on his emotions because he knows sometimes he can snap and lash out, and any time he can’t, it just further upsets him until he has to withdraw. Even when /trying/ to act more emotive, it still either feels like a strain and an effort if he’s faking it and pushing this thing that’s much farther than what he’s normally comfortable with, or like being too risky, encouraging negative behavior that any other time he’d stamp down in an instant. Again, would still make the effort for someone he loved if he knew it was important to them, but it would have to be a rare thing and it’d be clear to see that like after the fact he was really uneasy about it happening depending on how rough he ended up getting, and I think at that point anyone he cared about enough to try that with would be like hey i don’t want you making yourself uncomfortable with that for me (mel, i’m thinking of mel and her kink for rough aus that she’s super embarrassed about early on). I do thing there’s a middle ground, especially later game, where you can get him to be a little more pushy without edging him too far into an uncomfortable area, but you’d have to be careful. On the bright side, the more comfortable and confident he does get, the more likely you /could/ get a pretty good display when he tops of like. him doing the long build ups, slow, deep, actually catching hands to intertwine fingers. almost sensual if that's the right word; a bit of passion that way, maybe. Again, that’d also be more likely late game, though. Honestly it probably takes a while of mediocre sex to get him anywhere decent.

Knife/blood play - really not into it. Could /maybe/ be convinced to do it to a partner, but hard pass for it done to him and he’s not super comfortable doing it to partner either if he’s being honest. the whole thing is just kind of weird to him.

Bondage - could be convinced for himself or partner, though would only be okay with light bondage on himself vs anything more.

Audrey might be less okay with bondage on herself. Or rather like would be okay with less, willing to try but say austin would be tolerating of all limbs being tied up more easily than audrey would. I think it’s just part of that thing with her needing to be more independent than him, she doesn’t like to be restrained and isn’t as comfortable with it.  

Okay. listen. Because of him often being tied to vines and shit, there’s always a part of me like lol vine tentacles, but like. If he ever /did/ use vine tentacles in an AU, bondage would be a big thing to focus on doing for him.  

I know her powers are acid based instead of plant based in most cases (there’s always dc au) but @ nyo for your consideration if you haven’t already thought about it, aud using vines on mel.

Breath play - Same as knife/blood play. Maybe a little more willing to do it to partner though. It’s not quite as squicky but still not a thrill point for him. Also like. No real arm strength so that’s not as great either.

edging/orgasm control/etc etc etc - i think he’d allow it to be tried out on him if partner really wanted it but would quickly enough be like hmm not a fan. Sure, the more extreme feeling is better but the build there is quickly anywhere from uncomfortable to painful and he’s not thrilled about that. He does this so rarely and mostly for partner, so.

Pegging - again, he’s fine being the bottom, so he’d be fine with it.

Power play/praise/begging - mm, not a big pro for him if he’s expected to act super submissive. He can play the sub just from like, he’s not often as experienced as his partner so if they want to take the lead in this, good! but actually being expected to play the Sub ™ © ® is not his cup of tea and he wouldn’t enjoy it. Same with like begging he wouldn’t want to do either. Most times he’d go to a begging mentality in life it’d be to avoid danger so that’s not sexy to him and wouldn’t be fun? and i think he’d take a while to grasp a concept of someone wanting to beg for something but not be given it right away, so others begging him also isn’t perfect. Praise is the most well received, with his ego, he loves being told he did well because he does strive to do well and he likes that confirmed. Wouldn’t want it over the top, “you did such a good job, i’m so proud of you”, like, idk that’d be a little ~ to him, i think it’s just too much for him. But something simple like a short “Very good job” or something he could enjoy. Praising others he’d be willing to do but it’s also austin so he’d probably need some practice working out how to praise in a way that sounds good .

Rough play/spanking/slapping/biting/etc - i think it’s just generally a no. again, could be convinced to give it a try, but all of that is a little ~ to him. Either he doesn’t want it done to him or it’s got a bad/weird connotation for him doing it or it’s just, idk, weird to him. Like he could try spanking but a part of him is going to react to it weird, it’d take getting used to before anything like that could be seen as sexy to him and he doesn’t want to have to get used to it first.

Toni:

Most kinky outside of diego and rosa (though i think carmen’s more kinky than toni just because she lets herself indulge in that more frequently). Preference is a more dominant top, but can be a sexual chameleon since he cares more about making his partner happy. Like truly, his fave thing is just focussing on his partner during foreplay to the point of near overwhelming them with pleasure. It’s a combination of knowing he has that low level control over their pleasure, showing how he’s so fucking good at yet another thing, and just getting to see someone he cares about unraveling from how good they feel especially because of him.

knife/Blood play - The classic. His favorite kink but also the one he’s def shamed by the most. Very rarely gets to indulge in it so it’s always a treat when he can, even if he feels bad about it later. i think carmen has it too but to a lesser extent maybe (though her probably being less embarrassed by it).

Bondage - would also be into on others. Less thrilled about it on himself, especially in nationverse AU, but he’d be more willing to with certain partners than others. On others, it just makes the aforementioned overwhelming the other that much easier. Even without actual bondage, i think that’s something he tends to. If he’s going down on someone, he’ll love to hold their hips in place and keep them there so they’re just left to deal with it when he actually starts to work on it. It’s a control thing.

Breath play - Would be more into it with the right partner (Ivan, Gil, maybe Arthur). It’s not something he’s as into when on the receiving end, but again, with the right partner, it can still work, he’d just much rather be the one on the choking side versus choked. With that right partner group, would be more okay with just letting it come up naturally in the moment whereas with others who he’s less experienced with them being into pain/etc, he’d need to be expressly asked and would check with them more frequently, and probably go a little easier on them, too. Could be convinced not to go easy on someone if they made it clear they could handle it/would let him know if they couldn’t, though.

edging/orgasm control/etc etc etc - he would enjoy doing that to someone a lot, like I said, he likes to do things that combine being exceptional, pleasing his partner, and having a bit of control over them, and this would tick all those boxes immediately. Favorite of this category would probably be getting multiple/dry orgasms out of his partner from overwhelming them. The writhing & squirming, the loud moans and screams, the fingers or nails digging into his arms or back or hair. It’s a good aesthetic he loves to see.

Pegging - similar to aus, would be fine with it to the same level that he would be bottoming for a guy, not a real difference to him either.

Power play/praise/begging - Similar to the blood one, he can be a bit more wary of indulging in this one because he knows he has a bad habit of letting his overconfidence get away from him when he’s not careful, but honestly, he loves power play shit? Maybe more than kyle? Probably more than kyle. He’s not particularly affected by a praise kink to him, he already knows he’s great, thanks for just confirming he guesses? He’s probably very good at it to others, though; usually knows just what to say on how well they’re doing, how he’s so in awe of them, how amazing they’re proving themself to be in this moment just like every other one, etc etc etc. He’ll beg in the moment if it’s part of the atmosphere but prefers to be begged to. There’s really little he could not /love/ about power play as long as he’s the one with the power, though again, can roll with the other having power instead.

Carmen is less good at praise kink towards others and it has no effect on her, how fucking dare you assume your compliments mean anything to her when she already feels you should be honored to sleep with her??? She also would /really/ have to be smitten with someone to try begging with them if she were the one doing it, but is as into the other person begging/her being in the position of power as toni, maybe more. Also doesn’t try to hide interest in this like toni might. Even more so than diego sometimes, you couldn’t kink shame her if you tried. Like I made a chart comparing passion vs confidence for the kids and carmen was the only one with a full score on either and it was on both. She’s basically Final Pam. Confidence 10, Drive 10, and the other two points we can throw right away. next time you invite carmen

Rough play/spanking/slapping/biting/etc - I’m. upset. By the fact that I think toni would enjoy spanking someone? I think he has to though. I think he has to be about spanking someone compared to diego who definitely is cool with being spanked, that tracks too much for their characters. Mm, :\. Yes though, uh, same as like choking/knife play, doesn’t like to be as open about enjoying it, will indulge more fully with some people while take it easy unless specifically prompted not to with others, etc etc etc. I don’t think he’s as in to slapping either way and probably not as into being spanked which I’m sure feels like a shame to at least some of the people he sleeps with given dat ass, though he’d be willing to try it out if partner was really into spanking. Biting would be good both ways, same with other shit like scratching, pulling hair, pushing around, etc. Again, wouldn’t be as open about this and would go easier on most people even if it did come out, but it’s another indulgence kink for him for sure.

[kimmysfandomblog]

7, 12, 27, 29 for kamuhina if that’s okay-

Perfectly okay, Fishy!!! Thanks for the ask! 💕

7. What do they get up to on a night out?12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

7. Hmm, I think it really depends on where in the relationship they’d be in! At first, I can see Hinata just trying to take Kamukura out to average date spots, like movies, walks in the park under moonlight, or eating out. Kamukura, though, is just not impressed at all and it’s awkward as heck since Kamukura doesn’t refrain from saying this or that is boring. Hinata feels like a failure, but even if Kamukura was the one who proposed dating in the first place, Kamukura doesn’t even attempt to ask Hinata out. However, even after each failed date, Kamukura will still accept when Hinata asks him out the next time. Eventually, Hinata figures out Kamukura may not find anything interesting in the date itself, but he still cares an awful lot for Hinata! Eventually, Hinata and him come to a balance. Kamukura is still unmotivated to take Hinata out anywhere, but at least Hinata now joins in the snark-fest XD

“Kamukura, that girl’s gonna open the door and invite the monster in…. even though her boyfriend told her not to, isn’t she?” “…”(a few minutes later, the girl did just that) “Of course she did.” “This movie is boring.” (chuckles) “You got that right.”

Later on, they actually do become a bit more adventurous, and Kamukura even tells Hinata where they should go a couple of times, where they’ll see a rare sight, like meteor showers and eclipses, or he predicts a rare animal is going to come to this place, and Hinata may want to see it. Kamukura doesn’t pay all that much attention, though. He’s only interested in Hinata, the one who makes him feel something despite being completely and utterly normal.

12. When things are actually getting serious… does this mean when Hinata feels more confident Kamukura isn’t just going to dump him? I guess that they must have talked through any inferiority Hinata feels to Kamukura, then! I like the idea of Kamukura getting a bit possessive over Hinata, and Hinata calls him weird for it because he can make his own decisions and protect himself, thank-you-very-much, but he’s also a bit flattered since Kamukura doesn’t do anything for anyone. Of course, Kamukura is also a bit more bold and may cause some harmless things to happen to Hinata, if only to see how Hinata would react XD And Hinata, I think, may initiate the physical intimacies, like kissing and holding hands, and hugs, but even when Kamukura decides not to respond, he knows it isn’t from lack of love or want. They eventually come to a balance of understanding, but this would be after quite a while of Hinata fighting with Kamukura because Kamukura can’t express his feelings very well.

27. Their friends are a bit weirded out by the Kamuhina couple XD Hinata and Kamukura are not very affectionate to each other, especially in public, and they are always bickering about little things, and Hinata often gets frustrated at Kamukura, too. At the same time, they don’t even know how it began, since they kind of figured out Hinata used to have a pretty sizable amount of animosity towards this unfeeling guy, and the next thing they know, he’s going out on dates and getting into trouble because Kamukura wanted to see how he’d get out of it XD As for Kamukura’s friends (Kaede? Nanami? Komaeda?) they’d be kinda shocked he was the one who started it and it doesn’t make any sense to them, honestly, but if Kamukura and Hinata haven’t broken up by now, then something must be going right. It’s good if Kamukura was actually able to find someone he can stand to be around and not call boring XD

29. Why do they fall in love, huh? I think that with Kamukura, he wouldn’t really know, and that fascinates him, even if he doesn’t show it. Someone so plain, so average, so boring without even a hint of talent caught his attention. Moreover, it’s clear the guy doesn’t really like Kamukura, yet Kamukura feels a connection. He tries to logic his way out of it, saying it must be to do with teenage hormones, some kind of chemical in the body. He doesn’t really believe it to be “true love” since such a thing doesn’t exist in his mind, and it wasn’t even like he immediately fell in love with Hinata. Something about how Hinata doesn’t worship him for his talents, yet still acknowledges they are a part of him, speaks to him. Something about Hinata being so plain with nothing besides good intentions and ambition intrigues him. The feelings he grew for Hinata, he can’t even say it is because Hinata has ever been really kind to Kamukura. However, Kamukura sees how he treats all the others: despite being untalented, despite knowing Hinata doesn’t feel an ounce of self-worth in comparison to these guys, Hinata still attracts people to him somehow. He’s one who listens to everyone’s problems, he is invited to and joins events with the Ultimates, he is eventually able to get snarky about them as if he was on the same level…. Izuru shouldn’t be attracted to this guy, yet he is, and he is getting feelings like envy and fondness for a guy that is clearly annoyed by him.

As for Hinata, Kamukura is such a stand-offish person who refuses to interact with anyone that he finds him so annoying. Here is this person, who has all that Hinata thought he dreamed of: the talent, the respect, the acknowledgement. This guy does nothing. Quite literally.He calls all of the people who have tried to interact with him boring, even the ones that call themselves Kamukura’s friends because he at least tolerates their presence and lets them drag him into events he doesn’t have any passion participating in. He’s really cold and blunt, and he’s hurt people’s feelings before, and Hinata is pretty sure he hates Kamukura. Yet, even through the rage, Hinata is really curious about this guy. When Kamukura seems to not be cold, but rather distant to his classmates, Hinata can see the change, even if he doesn’t acknowledge it until finally the curiosity gets to him. He usually comes to Kamukura and blows up at him about not doing anything despite everyone falling over for him and all his talents, but this time he wants to know how Kamukura got his talents. Instead of an answer, he gets asked out. He tries to logic his way out of it, because he still feels he can’t forgive Kamukura completely (I mean, he’s definitely been told multiple times how boring and insignificant he is, and questioned on why he still comes to class activities when he’s a Reserve Course Student, all things that burn him like fire and he doesn’t know that this is Kamukura genuinely not knowing what is so attractive about Hinata). Kamukura…. he’s just not the type to woo a person. He’s super blunt about it. Hinata is curious about Kamukura, and has been since the beginning, so Kamukura says that if he really wants to figure him out so badly, then he should just accept going out with him. Hinata rejects him and runs away with Kamukura staring him up. A few days later, after just having to deal with Kamukura’s icy glare solely on him (how could he have ignored that stare for so long before?) he accepts being Kamukura’s boyfriend (he’s just got a few rules: no one finds out about it, Kamukura can’t go on about how boring he is, and he can end it anytime he wants to.)

And it is rocky at first, but the more time he spends with Kamukura, he sees Kamukura less as a symbol of his oppression as an average student (and he never realized it himself that is what he was seeing Kamukura as) and more as another human being, put on a pedestal so high that he feels equal to no one, and so emotionally stunted that he can’t express himself the same way. Before he knows it, Hinata realizes he actually likes spending time with Kamukura, especially once it is cleared up that Kamukura might find their outings boring, but he still likes spending time with Hinata, and actually has interest in Hinata (and Kamukura kept his word in never calling Hinata boring). Kamukura has changed, and Hinata realizes he can actually understand Kamukura better now. When he finds out how Kamukura’s life was like (cold, void, meant only to succeed and never allowed to fail), he’s angry at the ones who did this to Kamukura. His feelings of love were not immediate, but evolving at a slow rate. Before he knew it, he was acknowledging how pretty Kamukura’s eyes are, and how much he likes it when Kamukura looks at him. It took him some time to confess it (he’d already been in a relationship for over a year now and everyone knows they are dating at this point), but for once Kamukura looks a bit stunned, and his eyes a bit lighter. Neither of them have any regrets anymore.