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awkwardtickleetoo · 2 years ago
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hello everyone!!
so a little while ago mushie made a concept most centered around sap’s thighs/hips with small hcs of what george, dream, and karl would each do if they had access to them, and i decided to write small little ficlets/drabbles about those concepts!!
the george one is abut 750 words, the dream one is about 780 words, and the karl one is actually exactly 1.1k words because… i simply cannot help myself when it comes to karlnap i must write for forever with them im sorry i must
based on this post from @mushiewrites
enjoy!!
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(lee!sapnap with ler!george)
“NOHOHOHO!” Sapnap’s shrill scream rang against the walls of George’s office, falling on deaf ears despite his efforts to get through to his assailant. “GEOHOHORGE, STOHOP–” He demanded, though the desperation of his raspy laughter made him sound significantly less threatening than he’d hoped for.
“Hmmm… nah,” George denied, grabbing Sapnap’s hips when he threw his body to the side. “Nope! I’m not done with you yet, you little idiot.” He lightly scolded, harshly pulling Sapnap back towards him and digging his thumbs into the crease of his hips and thighs. Sapnap squealed, his hands flying forward from where they were yanking at George’s wrists, grabbing onto his forearms to steady himself.
“WHYHYHYHY!?” Sapnap replied, still just as confused about his situation as he was when the attack started– barely two minutes prior, when he knocked on George’s bedroom door and pushed it open after receiving a text from the older man asking for his help with a project.
It only took a few seconds of him being in the room for George to act on his sudden crazed urge to destroy him. Before Sapnap knew it, George’s hands were latched onto his hips, squeezing around the bones, over his upper thighs, and now, digging harshly into the spot where his hips and thighs met with a special kind of cruelty Sapnap had been the victim of many times before at the hands of the elder, reserved for when he truly wanted Sapnap to suffer.
“WHAHAHAT– whahat dihihihid I DOHOHO?!” Sapnap continued when he was given no response, feeling his knees grow weaker the longer George’s stupid thumbs kept digging into such an incredibly sensitive spot.
“What did you do? Oh, nothing. I just haven’t tortured you like this in a while, I’m worried you’re forgetting your place,” George explained casually, as if he was just explaining what he had for breakfast that morning, and Sapnap could feel his mind reeling at the response, his breath catching in his throat and making him feel dizzy.
“WHAHAT– thehe f-FUHUHUCK–“ Sapnap struggled, in disbelief at what he was hearing. His hands jumped down to George’s wrists again, before he felt his knees give out on him entirely and buckle underneath him. He whined through this laughter when he felt himself falling, grabbing onto George’s shoulders in an attempt to keep himself standing, but George wasn’t about to let him off that easily.
He took a small step forward, leaning more into Sapnap, and he suddenly shot his hands up to his sides to give two quick squeezes. George returned to drilling into his previous spot immediately after, but the squeeze worked exactly as he intended it to and nearly folded Sapnap in half. He yelped once again, jerking forward into George, losing his footing and sinking down to the ground. George followed him down, even as he fell onto his back and curled his legs to his chest, worming his hands in between his thighs and hips to continue his cruel, merciless digging.
“NAHAHAHA! GEOHOHORGE, PLEHEHEHEASE!” Sapnap begged, shaking his head wildly, pulling desperately with unsteady hands at George’s wrists, one last helpless attempt to get him to relent and stop the borderline evil tickling technique.
He could feel his chest burning with every breath he took, his lungs begging for air, begging for a break, begging for any kind of reprieve, but that feeling never came. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, even as he kept them squeezed shut, and he could feel how red and hot his face was from how hard he was laughing.
“PLEHEHEASE– OKAHAHAY! OKAHAY, OHOKAY, MEHEHERCYHY, PLEHEASE!” Sapnap conceded, hitting George’s forearm with the tips of his fingers rapidly to get him to pay attention. George giggled above him, pulling his hands away from the smaller man’s hips and resting them gently on his knees while he caught his breath. After what felt like hours of recovery, he asked, “Whahahat… whahat the fuhuhuck… was thahat fohohohor…”
“It wasn’t for anything. I already told you that, stupid. I just felt like destroying you,” George explained, just as casually as he had the first time. Sapnap groaned again, trailing off into a whine at the end, slamming his hands over his face and curling up on his side. George giggled again, sitting cross legged on the floor and rubbing his hand up and down Sapnap’s back to help soothe him through his residual giggles as he calmed himself down from the torture he’d been put through.
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(lee!sapnap with ler!dream)
“Dreheam!” Sapnap giggled, feeling the butterflies rise up in his chest as he pressed his back into the wall behind him. He pinched his elbows into his sides, his fingers still curled up into fists, prepared to reach out for Dream’s wrists at any time. His shoulders stayed tense as well, and he shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut through his happy giggles. “Drehehe– thihihi– yohou–“
“What’s wrong?” Dream asked, voice low and teasing, rumbling through both of their chests and vibrating against the inside of Sapnap’s ribcage due to the way Dream was looming over him and leaning into his space. Sapnap giggled again, tensing his arms more, pressing himself further against the wall.
“Juhuhust–!” Sapnap protested further, his hands finally shooting forward and gripping harshly onto Dream’s forearms when the taller man rested his knee in between Sapnap’s thighs. The smaller man gasped, his eyes shooting down to the offending limb, forced to stand up on his toes as Dream pushed his thighs further out. “Dr- Dreheheam! Stohohohop! Let- lehet me dohown!”
“I can’t! It’s not my fault you’re so tiny!” Dream defended, making Sapnap gawk at him in disbelief before falling into sudden bright giggles as hands found their way back to his hips, squeezing just above the bones. Dream giggled along with him, looking down at him fondly as Sapnap continued to let out squeaks and strained chuckles the more Dream’s long fingers curled and squeezed around his hips.
“I– ah! Ihihit’s nohot like ihit’s my– hehe– fahahault ei-eitheher–!”
“Shhh,” Dream interrupted Sapnap’s response, making Sapnap scrunch up his nose and shake his head through his laughter. “I’m busy.”
“Y-yohohou ahare noho-OHOT– NOHO, DREHEHEAM!” Sapnap’s laughter grew much more frantic when Dream yanked his arms out of Sapnap’s grip and reached down to pinch and scratch at his inner thighs, Sapnap moved his hands to Dream’s shoulders, needing some way to steady himself so he didn’t lose his balance completely. “DREHEAM, stohohop! Nohoho, oh my gohohod, Dreheam, dohohon’t!” Sapnap pleaded, looking up at Dream in a last ditch effort to reason with him.
The smirk he was met with in response told him all he needed to know.
“Too late, I’ve already started,” Dream said with a smile, leaning in to speak closer to Sapnap just as he had done earlier, his voice still rumbling through Sapnap’s bones, making his chest feel just about as rattled as if someone had dumped a box of rainbow sprinkles inside his body.
“Nohoho, Dreheam, nohohoho!” Sapnap whined, protesting more frantically now, but letting himself fall forward to press his face into Dream’s shoulder when the pinching fingers and scratching nails returned to his thighs. He attempted to close his legs, to squeeze his thighs together to dislodge the cruel hands, but with Dream’s leg between his it was impossible for him to get anywhere. He was completely trapped, barely able to shift his legs at all, only able to push himself further forward into Dream or backwards into the wall, neither option really assisting him much. “DREHEHEAM! Plehehease, I cahahan’t!” He pleaded, trying to reach one hand down to bat at Dream’s, but finding he would have to lean down too far and almost lose his balance in order to even reach him properly. He settled on burying his face in Dream’s shoulder, gripping his bicep tightly with one hand and resting the other on the knee between his own legs. “Thihihihis is so STUHUPIHIHID!”
“Is it stupid? I think it’s adorable.”
“DREHEHEHEAM!” Dream laughed at his response, but he could hear the strain on his voice and feel the way his squirming– the little amount he could do– was growing more desperate, and he knew it was time to bring this to a close…
…but he really didn’t want to.
So, instead, he slowed his hands down and brought them up to hold Sapnap’s sides, giving him a few seconds to breathe and pulling back his leg so the smaller boy could stand on flat ground again. Then, after he seemed relaxed enough, Dream suddenly leaned down and wrapped his arms around Sapnap’s hips, quickly picking him up off the ground and throwing him over his shoulder.
“OH, FUCK– DREAM?!” Sapnap yelped, grabbing onto Dream’s shoulders for stability, both boys giggling when Sapnap was suddenly thrown onto Dream’s bed, the older boy kneeling between his thighs and looming over him in seconds. “Oh, NO! Dream, no, don’t do anything, I know what you’re planning, don’t do anyth–ING, FUCK, NAHAHAHA–!” He tried to plead, but Dream simply latched his hands back onto Sapnap’s inner thighs, squeezing up and down until the boy was lost in desperate laughter once again.
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(lee!sapnap with ler!karl)
“I’ll be right back, I have to go make a call really quick,” George began, pushing himself off the couch and walking towards the stairs.
“Bro thinks he’s important,” Sapnap teased in response.
“It’s Dream, idiot.”
“Oh, so bro’s just in love.”
“Bleh,” George mocked, sticking out his tongue and scrunching up his nose as he did so.
“Bleh,” Sapnap bit back, making the older boy smile before he scampered up the stairs. Sapnap chuckled at their behavior, turning to settle back into his spot on the couch.
Whatever Sapnap had expected when he turned around, it was not Karl sitting practically on top of him, his face a few inches away from Sapnap’s. He jumped, not expecting Karl to be that close to him, his eyes widening as he took in Karl’s wide smile and adoring eyes.
“Uh… hi?” Sapnap began, locking his phone and putting it down on his lap.
“Hi, handsome,” Karl said back, his smile widening as his head cocked to the side slightly, offering no additional explanation.
“Uh… whatcha doin’?” He asked in confusion, pulling his legs in, unable to do anything about them being pressed against Karl’s chest.
“Just looking at you.” Karl shifted closer, pressing Sapnap further into the corner of the couch, essentially trapping him there as he rested his hands on Sapnap’s knees and his chin on the back of his hands. Sapnap giggled, feeling a soft blush rise to his cheeks, nervous butterflies fluttering in his tummy, the way they always did when he was around Karl.
“O… kay?” Sapnap questioned, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. Karl moved his hands forward, sliding them up Sapnap’s thighs, pushing the legs of his shorts up and gently trailing his nails over Sapnap’s skin, dragging them up and down, from above his knees to the bottoms of the newly exposed legs of his boxers. He flinched at the feeling, giggling nervously. “Hehehey, wha–what is thahahat fohor?”
“Just wanna,” Karl explained unhelpfully, giggling as Sapnap bit his lip and looked anywhere but at Karl. “I like when you get all nervous like this. It’s cute. You don’t get like this with anyone else.”
“Ihihihi– thahaha–” Sapnap giggled, and he had no doubt his face was bright red with how much it was burning. His knees pushed further against Karl’s chest, but Karl only used this to his advantage, forming his hands into more firm claw shapes and scratching his nails more deliberately, over the tops and outsides of his thighs. Sapnap gasped, jumping at the new sensation, his toes curling against the couch cushion underneath him as he let out a soft whimper. “Ihihit’s juhuhust ‘cahause it's yohou…” He said, his voice growing whiny at the end, feeling the cogs in his brain turning slower as Karl clouded his mind with warmth and fogginess.
“Yeah?” Karl questioned, chuckling softly as Sapnap nodded. “Well, aren’t you just the cutest little thing ever?” Karl teased, earning a groan from the boy in front of him.
“Okahayyy, shuhuhut uhuhup, thahat’s enohough from yohohou,” Sapnap protested with a dramatic eye roll, pushing up against the couch to try and get himself out of the corner he was trapped in, but Karl seemed to have other plans. Suddenly, there were hands attached to the tops of his thighs once more, now squeezing up and down the length of them and migrating up towards his hips. Sapnap’s jumping and flinching increased heavily, his legs shaking under Karl’s hands, one hand reaching out to Karl’s arm for support and the other coming up to cover part of his face. “NAHA– Kahaharl, nohohoho!” Sapnap shook his head as he protested, and Karl looked at him with wide eyes and a smile– an expression Sapnap barely caught through the half-second or eye contact he gave Karl before looking away again.
“This is good, isn’t it, angel?” Karl asked, making Sapnap whine again. He pushed further, pressing in just enough for Sapnap to feel it once he reached the junction between his hips and thighs. Sapnap squealed and jumped, sliding down the couch slightly, throwing his head back against the pillows and squeezing his eyes shut. “Oh, that’s a bad spot for you, sweet boy, I know it is.”
“SHUHUHUT UHUHUP?!” Sapnap complained, reaching down to pull at Karl’s wrists when they squeezed there a few more times before moving up to the spot above his hips. “NOHOHO, Kahaharl, plehehehease!” Sapnap pleaded, jolting again, pushing himself against the back of the couch enough to tilt the hat on his head to the side.
Karl pulled his hands back and broke into laughter himself, resting his hands on the sides of Sapnap’s thighs again and leaning his forehead against his knees. Both boys were lost in hysterical laughter for what felt like hours, leaning in to each other and catching their breaths only to fall into more giggles seconds later. Sapnap threw his hands over his face, hiding his blush as much as he could, until Karl softly pulled his wrists down to uncover his face again.
“Nohoho, Karl–” Sapnap whined, but he kept his hands away when Karl let them go to fix the boy's hat for him. He giggled again, biting his lip as he looked up at Karl. “Thahank you…” He said bashfully, sliding himself back up so sit cross-legged in his original position in the couch.
“Of course, cutie. Gotta make sure my little man is all happy,” Karl said as he cupped Sapnap’s blushing face, and Sapnap’s smile grew wide enough to scrunch up his face as he giggled again.
“Are you guys done being annoying now? Is it safe for me to sit down again?” A voice came from behind them, and both boys whipped around to see George standing at the base of the stairs, arms crossed, shoulder against the wall as if he’d been waiting a while.
“H-how much did you see?” Sapnap asked, feeling the embarrassment creep in again, only slightly calming when Karl’s hand began to play with the hair in the back of his head to soothe him.
“Enough,” George said as he walked over and plopped himself down on the couch. “All I’ll say is that I found that spot first. So I'm winning,” He finished, casually taking out his phone and scrolling like nothing had just happened. Sapnap whined, leaning forward and hiding his face in Karl’s neck, throwing his arms around his waist and pulling him in close. Karl giggled, wrapping his arms around Sapnap as well, continuing to play with his hair as they both relaxed back into the couch.
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latinokaeya · 5 months ago
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rr is so bad with timelines and ages literally would hazel not be 14 already by the time of son of neptune. am i the crazy one here
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male-duckk · 11 months ago
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thinking abt joe/carlos
#ashita no joe#yeah#idk just the way that they loved and understood each other#when that understanding necessarily came from physical violence they must inflict on each other#that post that’s like joe can only understand affection when it’s punching him in the face is true!!#when someone like noriko who he does care for tries to connect with him#the connection can never be complete bc she doesn’t understand what boxing is to joe (and carlos)#which is interesting bc someone like yoko who is one of joes number one enablers pretty much ever tries to have a more personal conversation#with him that’s not about his fights (him getting in the car with her bc he assumes she’s taking him to jose#him avoiding and getting throwing shit at her over the course of the series when she tries to personally help him)#he is hostile to for a lot of the time#idk it’s just like yoko is the closest thing he has to one of his oppenents in terms of understanding what boxing means and he lowkey hates#her maybe bc she is extremely privileged#she’s kind of playing at this boxing is everything when to her it’s really not#her family is incredibly wealthy and she never goes through turmoil herself over the plot (expect for the loss of rikiishi)#while the boxers of the series go through hardship#joe is a homeless orphan#rikiishi is in the juvenile detention center for almost killing someone#carlos also grew up in the slums#pretty much every boxer in the series has a reason why they MUST box#while there is no reason why yoko MUST be a promoter really other than her odd enabling of joe#i got far away from my original point but i just have so many thoughts abt this series😭😭#the anime elitists cooked with this one i fear#anyway it is now 1am and i’m tired👍#have no clue if this makes sense#need someone to yap abt this to😭#sorry for the block of text that probably does not make any sense
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songofwizardry · 1 year ago
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i stumbled across a Rumi quatrain on tumblr today and it reminded me to go looking for my favourites, so here's a few, all taken from Kulliyat-e Shams-e Tabrizi, with the caveat that i do not speak Farsi and I have read them all as translations only. more notes on translation at the end, but all of these are translated by Zara Houshmand, and taken from the archives of The Iranian.
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#1771
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#57
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#1584
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#1316
and the note on translation: these are of course not the Coleman Barks translations, the most popular English translations. i think the orientalism and... de-Sufi-fying and de-Muslim-ifying of the Barks translations and a lot of English-language and Western perception of Rumi is much more discussed now (Jawid Mojaddedi, who is writing a translation of Rumi's multi-volume Masnavi, says, "The Rumi that people love is very beautiful in English, and the price you pay is to cut the culture and religion.") if you're interested, Persian Poetics has a great twitter thread about it and their website has text, audio, and video resources where they've talked about it. and this article from Ajam Media is a short read and an interesting comparison of a few different translations.
if you enjoy Zara Houshmand's translations, she has a book of translations of Rumi's quatrains, Moon and Sun. there's many translations of Rumi's works not by Barks, that prioritise different things: you can 100% find a translation that isn't Barks, and Rumi's work is. so beautiful and so much better when you are not reading whatever uhhh... interpretation Barks came up with.
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snekdood · 24 days ago
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i think what pisses me off about my abuser stealing mj and trying to force her to be transmasc is that they essentially robbed me from discovering that on my own if it ended up being true and kind of solidified in her to be even more of a #girlboss bc someone else apparently thinks they know her better just bc they imprinted on her..... she doesn't dig that coercive controlling shit srry
#my ocs#mj#that post about that person hating the term 'egg' and how it prevented them from coming out is exactly how i feel about my abuser#insisting mj needs to be transmasc for some reason#im glad that you feel a connection with her however jsyk she hates you and would beat the ever living shit out of you if she could.#would literally rip off their shitty bird wings and smack em' with them-core#like they basically gauranteed shes probably not gonna be transmasc at all bc they think they know MY oc who came from MY#brain better for some fucking reason. ya don't. you know the version of her you invented for yourself to imprint on#bc all ya ever do is steal other ppls ocs and modify them so you can try to claim them as yours............#im literally verging on making her transfem more than anything close to transmasc atp.#you understand her character so little that you didn't even realize how attached to being a 'strong independent woman' she is#like she has formed an identity ALLLLLLLLLL around that#shes very vocal about womens rights and is very much a feminist- even though shes a human feminist so her feminism doesnt always#extend to monsters as well........#so like. the second wave feminism of my comics universe lmao.#in retrospect maybe it was a good thing its taking me so long to post my comic bc then my abuser can just show their ass for how little#they understand my characters and then i can show what theyre really like#we can compare how much of my story they stole. and to see how much they lied about what my story is about.#also me not posting so quickly gives them less of a chance to steal my ideas from me so lmao#go on. go be creative on ya own. ya dont need me handholding you. ill sit back and relax and let you figure it out#i dont run up to you and start assuming jack is transfem bc i think it'd be cooler or whatever tf#what gives you the fucking right?#imagine thinking you know a character super well that you've never even seen the original comic of#EYEM the one with the story mapped out in my brain. you only got snippets. you have no idea whats going on.#vent
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the-headless-horsedude · 2 months ago
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maybe i'm just a hater but i feel like there were too many movie stars in murder on the orient express (2017)
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thepringlesofblood · 2 months ago
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rewatching the unsleeping city and maybe its just the dnd of it all but kingston and captain davenport from taz balance fill really similar roles in really different ways and i think it's fascinating.
#is this about the discussion they have about pete when he's not around in ep 7?#absolutely#I'm getting very similar feelings to stolen century ep where they decide not to destroy the crystal with all the people in it#bc kingston is very amiable and casual in his matter of speech because he radiates this kind of authority from being the vox populi#and from living in the same place for years and years and being so ingrained in the community#so the authority he wields comes to him very naturally#while davenport (at least in the pre-stolen century ipre years) had to fight for every scrap of authority he's ever been given#he didn't have that same community or support network so the authority he wielded came from formality & gravitas & all the walls he puts up#because in the past people have not naturally seen him as an authority figure#and as he goes through the stolen century he's able to slowly relax the iron grip he's had to maintain on his reputation#and bond with his crew in a way that strengthens him and creates trust#but it very much did not come to him naturally#and they both fill these huge positions of authority where they're responsible for these unanswerable moral questions#kingston as the vox populi speaks on behalf of the millions of people in the waking world of nyc#and davenport is the captain of a ship containing the only remnants of their entire planarverse#trying to stop a malevolent force literally too big to imagine#and even though they came to these positions in really different ways#they have the same basic mindset underneath it all:#they will always choose their people and their cause no matter what is on the other side#when kingston perceives a choice between pete and the rest of new york he doesn't hesitate#and when davenport perceives a choice between the mission and the lives of hundreds of strangers he doesn't hesitate either#it's fascinating#both of them go through a lot of character growth and are able to move beyond the place that that cold logic sends them to#and are able to look at things in new ways#but they need their people to in order to grow#idk i'm rambling#also obvs kingston is operating on a smaller and less existential level than davenport#but idk theres parallels for sure#original post#tagpost
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felidthing · 10 months ago
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i just had a very long complicated dream about some very ooc homestuck kids. jade might be rooted in some form of fanon at least but i dunno
#i could b wrong abt jade. i really liked the way she was in this though#she was all the yay happy im jade harley niceness but also like. very self-righteous and impulsive#and very emotional. and stubborn. and protective of people she thought were being treated unfairly#she had an extreme reaction thinking someone was in danger cb of an outburst so she herself had a massive outburst and was panicking until-#-she found out they were okay and alive for now and then switched to just clinging desperately to them and getting very angry at anyone who#didnt show the same level of care and protectiveness for them than she was. like she was fully creating a two sides issue and staunchly cho#and then when it didnt look like things were gona go any better she zapped her and her friend and one person who seemed kinda-#- neutral-positive onto a spaceship to escape as far away as possible#so. that. she was consistently the most easygoing with this random guy my dream isekai'd into the situation. which at times made her an-#-enabler or something bc she prioritized his comfort over any change ever even ones that could have been good for him#johns main part in this Story was he kinda just had an autistic meltdown and then pov guy had a similar situation not long later#on a larger scale and people in general were just even less nice about him because he was older and hadnt grown up there lol#also this dream was very much from random guys pov which was My pov#but it wasnt Me i was just fully some character. anyways#after pov guys massive outburst he runs back home where john is and john is not very sympathetic#he was very much projecting the shame an embarrassment he felt bc even though the people there at least knew him they still werent nice to-#-him either#so it was a ''i know from experience that You should know better than to have needs in public'' type deal#originally rose was there and then my brain switched her out for roxy. im so sorry rose#but either way the lalondechild had such a murky existence and it only solidified into roxy at the end where the confrontation thing was-#happening. with the jade freakout#there was also some Superpower Awakening shit happening? previously mentioned w jade. but john when pov guy came home had a white streak in#his hair and jades went FULLY white when she blew up#so thats cool i guess. her hair went back to normal the next time she was seen on the ship#there was some montage shit going on#anyways. insane fucking dream. can i steal this shit and make ocs.#like i said these kids were pretty ooc. i feel like parts were definitely still rooted in some perception of the characters butttt#its was just one or two small things. idk man all i know is i am thinking so hard about this#dreams#posts
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dilfosaur · 5 months ago
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well i haven't spilled my guts on tumblr since i was in college but it's the platform that's felt The Most Mine thru the years, so
let's talk!
i've had a huge chip on my shoulder that i wanted off before the year ends. very bad professional experience to follow
so firstly to get ahead of the speculating, i'm not naming names or anything. some of you will puzzle out who i'm talking about, but please don't bother anyone especially not on my behalf. i've worked hard to distance myself from them the past few months. shit happens, especially when you're a dumb bitch (that's me!)
but also this person was someone i considered a close friend and it makes me uneasy to possibly direct backlash at them. "then why post about it" bc i did intermittent work for them for over a year. this is just about that. so hear me out
basically it started off fine. i initially did some commission work for good pay, then was invited to become more involved with their team. unfortunately as i became more involved with their operation it became more disorganized over time. projects started then forgotten, constantly shifting schedules, lapsing communication between roles, confusing financials, and often inconsistent if not late payments. during mid 2023 i was doing colorist work, sometimes on a one day turnaround (all while also preparing drawfee's summer merch launch). the payroll wasn't set up correctly so i wasn't paid for that work for over a year (more on that later), tho to be fair that was largely my own fault at first as i just didnt realize the payments didn't go thru lol
i always consider myself decently capable of separating friendship and coworker-ship; i run a company with 4 wonderful friends, going strong for almost 5 years. that didn't really work out in this case. by early this year our friendship was on the rocks; work issues fed into personal issues and vice versa. so as the rest of this shit plays out, we had just had our first "big fight" which i felt very bad about and added to all the upcoming tension
a huge point of friction was the fact that i really wanted to work with them to make a music video for one of their songs. i've always wanted a chance to make a music video, was confident in a concept i came up with, and even did some concept art for the idea. everyone insisted they loved the concept and that we should do it, but we kept pushing it back for various reasons. it ended up becoming a huge sticking point for my frustrations, which i tried to express productively. TLDR, we eventually got around to discussing it seriously around april.
i planned to ask for $4000 with negotiable add-on for the whole project, which was my Friend Discount price. i was offered a contract for $1000 flat rate, as they insisted that was the only budget they had for it.
don't ask me why i signed it lol. i didn't even counter offer
there was some girlmath to it: i wanted an extra 1k for a student scholarship i provide every spring and well, there it was. but if i had to guess, i saw it as something i just couldn't back down from any more. i caused these folks- my friends- a lot of problems bc i dug my heels in so deep to chase this project, so fuck it we ball
i had about 4 months to solo a 3 minute music video. they wanted it done in august so they could release it before summer ended, bc "it was a summer song". to be fair i was asked if i needed them to pay for anything extra like assistants (which i would have to find and manage) but i was so immediately overwhelmed that i didn't wanna slow down to wait on that process lol. there was very minimal communication other than brief progress check-ins every few weeks. i did everything for that project myself: the original concept, character designs, storyboards, layouts, backgrounds. i even did the editing/compositing for the final cut of the MV. the only favor i did myself was limiting the amount of it that was actually animated to simple loops and motions. hardly my best work but it was work still done
i did it all in between my full time job. i ended up having to take nearly a month away from most of my drawfee duties (with the support of the others) to make the august deadline. i only ever asked for a 3 day extension (notice given about a week in advance, around the same time i was given the final song file lol). i finished the music video at 6am on the final deadline and recorded drawfee the next day on 2 hours of sleep
but it was done, coolies. the team was very happy with the final product. honestly, without getting into it, those were a very emotionally taxing 4 months. on the professional side, i regretted agreeing to the project and especially for the dogshit rate they offered. i felt like a hypocrite- as someone who always wanted to advocate for younger artists demanding their worth in a world that's getting increasingly hostile toward creatives, i failed myself
so when i met with the manager to discuss the release plan, i told them to do whatever worked best for them as i only had one request: i wanted my credit removed from the project
tbh... like... lmao this dramatic bitch right!! but really, i decided that bad practices only breed worse business. friends or not, it was unprofessional of me to accept such a low paying job so i just didn't want my name used in association. everything felt so muddled to me and i was just really tired at this point
the manager was very understanding and then offered that i could be paid more. they said that their team "was surprised" i accepted their low rate and they would be happy to up the amount. this confused me as the initial budget seemed pretty set and at no point between april and august was i offered a better rate. i knew these guys weren't made of money. so, i declined. i didn't want to put anyone out of their means over work that was already done and agreed upon. but more importantly, i was over the whole thing and didn't want to prolong the project with a contract renegotiation. i just insisted my name be removed
they decided to use a pseudonym (which i was fine with) so they could create a story about a character who made the MV (this sounds really convoluted but i don't know how better to put it without getting specific, sorry). that way if people asked about the credit, they could speak comfortably about it without signaling that something went wrong behind the scenes. ok, kind of a silly narrative imo but whatevs. and maybe this is where i finally went truly wrong but. yolo i guess
i gave the name "D. Smithee", D as in dilfosaur and Smithee as in Alan Smithee. look it up for fun film trivia ig! was it passive aggressive of me to reference that in this context? yeah, honestly. but i thought it was kinda funny and really not that deep. if it was a problem, i have other real, non-cheeky pseudonyms i regularly use. the manager accepted it and all i had to do was wait for them to post the video and i could leave the whole experience behind me
a week later i received a message from the manager that my pseudonym had been denied by the rest of the team bc one of them got the reference. fair enough lol. however, they decided that rather than ask for a different name, the were going to make one up for me that they liked and would "fit the [story]", without asking me
and that! is when i finally snapped!
i was so tired of giving them concessions at this point and having a credit made up for me without any input from me felt genuinely violating and unethical. i started to Panic bc of how stressed i was, and asked for my overdue payments (aka the $500 still owed on the MV, and the colorist rate from a year prior that was never paid even tho i reported it in january) to be scheduled ASAP as i was leaving the work discord immediately
i finally told them off for exploiting me throughout the months while i kept trying to just be nice and finish my contact cleanly. in return i was told that it was unfair to say that as i agreed to everything- i accepted their cheap rate and denied further payment so that was all settled, and it was ok to change my credit without my consent bc i "said they could do whatever with the release". i called bullshit, ended the convo as kindly as i could, and cried lol. they agreed to ditch the pseudonym and just give no credit. that night was the last i heard from anyone on that team
and the real kicker?
august came and went. then september, october... and they never released the music video
and i don't know why, because i was never contacted about it. i've been removed from the picture entirely i guess. 4 months and boatloads of stress. just. up in smoke. i don't know what i expected honestly
it's hard to not take everything that happened personally and as done in bad faith. i really do, honestly. i've had plenty of shitty deals in my almost 10 year art career, but it hits different from people you saw as friends. but to the point of "why not keep it private", i have never felt so disrespected as a professional as i did this past year. i can toy with money and credits and other formalities all i want, but my work- my ideas, my labor, my effort- is still so important to me. i felt like the biggest idiot for doing so much work, pouring so much of myself into a piece for someone's use, for what has amounted to nothing
but more importantly i hated myself for undervaluing my work, even if initially i thought this person was a trusted friend. money is not really an issue for me- drawfee is my main job and i am fine and comfortable. it's so important to pay artists appropriately but i often undersell my own work bc i value the collaboration and passion between creatives more than the reward. i think a lot of artists tend to feel the same, and it often makes us easy to take advantage of. it's so difficult to find the balance between passion and making a fair living, and i think there's some shame within ourselves when artists choose to prioritize that passion
i wanted to finally get all this off my chest bc i was ashamed of every choice i made. things like this happen all the time i'm sure and hiding these mistakes only make it easier for it to happen to other people
tldr always value your work and protect your passion from people who just see it as a product. and don't give cheeky pseudonyms i guess lol
(and again pls don't bother anyone involved about this. a lot of chaos has left my life as i moved past all this, and this is me closing a door without opening new ones hopefully lol)
this shit was truly
so ass.
but i'm moving past it now
but on a nicer note. outside of all of this nonsense, i made lots of good memories this year. i'm truly so grateful to the many wonderful people in my life who keep me going even when i fuck up big time!
and thank you to all of you strangers who, despite everything, give me the time of day. especially if you read this whole thing. you're a real one :')
happy new year!
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aeyumicore · 1 year ago
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what's mine
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━ .ᐟ✧ PAIRING: zayne x female reader (afab)
━ ✧.˖ GENRE: smut, porn with plot, not canon events (completely fictional)
━ .ᐟ✧ WORD COUNT: 10.7k
━ ✧.˖ WARNINGS: mdni, explicit sexual content, first time sex with zayne (not virginity loss), jealous!zayne, dom!zayne, zayne slightly loses control of evol, furniture breaks, lot’s of teasing, fictional characters, size kink, vaginal sex, oral sex f!receiving, tongue fucking, fingering, unprotected sex, creampies, slightly drunk sex (not really), tummy bulge, posessive/claiming behavior, let me know if i missed anything!
━ .ᐟ✧ LINKS: ao3
━ ✧.˖ A/N: helloooo writing for my fav zayne again <3 would you guys believe this is actually the first lads fic i ever started but i put it on hold because it was way too elaborate and i didn’t want to make a whole like multi chapter fic? i actually cut out a lotttt of it, it probably would’ve been more like 30k words if i kept the same writing style/detail i had originally, and i just could not do that to myself
also the matthew/intern mentioned in the fic is completely made up and fictional, he is not a reference to any characters! i couldn’t bring myself to use greyson for the purposes of the plot bc i think he and zayne are so cute LOL god i love the jealous angsty feelings trope 
pls enjoy hehe i luv u guys <3 also come interact with me on twit @/aeyumicore :’)
THIS IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT. I WILL NEVER POST MY FICS ON OTHER TUMBLR BLOGS. I WILL ONLY POST ON THIS ACCOUNT AND ON AO3.
✦ . ˖ ✧ .ᐟ ˖ nsfw | minors dni | 18+ only | minors dni | nsfw ✦ . ˖ ✧ .ᐟ ˖
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"Will you go to dinner with me?”
You whip your head around to see where the unfamiliar voice came from, coming face to face with one of the surgical interns of the Akso hospital. You’d run into him several times before when visiting Zayne at work, but never quite got his name.
"Me?” 
The intern chuckles at your dumbfoundedness, which he thinks is adorable, "Yes, you’re Y/N right? My name is Matthew. I'm one of the surgical interns here. So, will you let me take you to dinner tomorrow?”
Zayne chokes on his rice from the seat beside you, patting his chest a few times to clear his throat. You’d decided to have lunch with Zayne after your check-up today; well more like you’d forced him to the cafeteria with you against his will. You’d desperately wanted to try the infamous mint chocolate chip jello the hospital cafeteria served, even though you knew it’d be disgusting. And so you both sat at a table in the cafeteria, you with your jello and Zayne with a homemade bento box you’d made for him, along with some of his favorite pastries from the bakery down the street.
At his coughs, the intern’s eyes snapped to Zayne’s and it was like he’d just then realized Zayne was there, the surprise and anxiety written all over his expression. Zayne was always someone who commanded respect and fear from his colleagues and subordinates, so much so that Matthew had turned pale as a ghost. 
"Oh! Dr. Zayne, I'm so sorry I didn’t realize–” but Zayne cuts him off with a simple wave of his hand. 
"It’s fine. Continue your conversation.” You’re a bit taken back by Zayne’s nonchalance. Sure, you were just childhood friends but it would be nice if Zayne had any reaction at all to being asked out right in front of him. You yourself couldn’t deny the attraction you felt towards Zayne but it was seeming more and more that it was completely one sided.
"I, um…” you’re at a loss for words, not knowing how to let the handsome intern down. Matthew was honestly very attractive, and seemed kind enough, but you had hoped to spend your friday night with Zayne, though you hadn’t had the chance to ask him yet. He’d been swamped with surgeries and patients the last few days and you hardly got to see him at all. And you missed him thoroughly.
"I actually had plans with Zay– I mean dr. Zayne,” you glance at Zayne, hoping he’ll get the message, but the expression on his face is dark and unreadable. 
"No we don’t. You should go,” Zayne’s tone is cold and his eyes refuse to meet yours. Despite yourself, your heart clenches in disappointment. You know Zayne could be obtuse but he was also extremely intelligent and perceptive. He undoubtedly knew you wanted to spend your night with him. But it was becoming more and more apparent he did not want to spend his with you.
"But i–”
"I have plans anyways.” Your eyes can’t help but sting as he avoids looking at you. So you try to steel yourself; you were a big girl and a little bit of unrequited affection would not destroy you. Keeping your voice steady and blinking back unshed tears of frustration, you look up at Matthew, his eyes lighting up at you expectantly, and you try to give him your best smile.
"I...I would love to go to dinner with you!”
You don’t notice the deep scowl on Zayne’s face as a dark icy storm brews in his green eyes. 
You stumbled out of the taxi, your way-too-high heels catching on the foot step almost causing you to trip headfirst into the pavement. You sigh as you catch yourself on the cab door and glance at your hunter watch and see that it’s already 1am. 
"Get home safe miss, and no more drinks, you hear me?” Your cab driver reprimands you teasingly.
"Yes sir,” you mock salute him as you wobble onto your feet, thoroughly drunk, "Thank you so much! Please drive safe. Good night sir!”
"Good night miss!” 
You turn towards your apartment building, sighing in exhausted defeat. What an absolute disaster of a night.
The date was unexpectedly wonderful. Matthew was handsome, kind, funny, and a complete gentleman. He brought you to a very fancy and expensive restaurant downtown, so you wore one of your most elegant dresses, not that you had many. It was a simple satin black mid-length evening dress, with a slit that exposed just up to your mid thigh and an open back that accentuates your figure. You’d normally never wear something so sensual on a first date, but you couldn’t deny that the way Zayne had reacted, or not reacted, stung your heart. So maybe you did go a little extra tonight because you were hurt. So what?
After dinner, Matthew and you took a leisurely stroll at linkon park, with enough time to catch the sunset. As you watched the sun melt into the sea of golden yellows and dusky pinks, Matthew kissed you. It was passionate, slow, and soft. The perfect kiss.
Except when you moaned out Zayne’s name. 
And so the night ended as quickly as it began. Matthew was as understanding as he possibly could have been, but you could tell it killed anything that could have happened between the two of you. Matthew was a surgical intern, so with what little free time he had, he said he couldn’t chance it on a girl who was clearly already in love with someone else, especially if that someone was his boss and mentor. He’d offered to give you a ride back home but you refused, saying you’d grab a cab instead.  
So you found yourself at a bar, downing shots of soju to numb the mortification of your blunder but also the feeling of utter patheticness. Hours went by as you wallowed in your emotions. You’d had feelings for Zayne for as long as you could even remember. And still, you couldn’t tell him or move on from him. 
But maybe you would have the guts to tell him if it didn’t feel like he literally could not give two cents about you, beyond as a patient and as his annoying childhood friend. It was literally like pulling teeth to get him to spend any time at all with you lately. 
So here you were, stumbling into your apartment building at 1:37 am: drunk, exhausted, and empty. The night breeze raised goosebumps on your exposed thighs as your heels clicked on the pavement in the dark. 
You headed toward your apartment, through the main entrance and up the lobby elevator, the alcohol still making your brain swim. Luckily you no longer saw double, and your eyelids no longer felt like a ton of bricks.  
The elevator door dinged open and you trudged toward your unit, your toes screaming in protest in the confine of your heels. You forced your vision to cooperate with you as you tried to punch in your door code. The error buzz sounded out, again and again, and you groaned in frustration.
In the blurry edges of your vision, a large and slightly scarred hand reached over yours. Yelping, you whip yourself around and reach to grab the gun you always had strapped to your thigh. But from the icy cold touch against your fingers and the scars littering the pink skin, you realize exactly who it was.
"Zayne?” You did your best not to slur, trapped between him and your front door. You don’t miss how he swears under his breath as his eyes trail down your body, lingering at all your exposed skin, before snapping back up to your face. You can’t even imagine how wrecked you must look right now, mentally kicking yourself for not touching up after the bar. Your gloss was undoubtedly smeared from the kiss and the copious alcohol, your hair a bird’s nest from the night breeze, and your mascara smeared from the stray tears of your drunken emotions.
You didn’t do a very good job at steeling your voice because Zayne saw right through you, his eyes narrowing as they absolutely drank you in, "You’re drunk?” His voice holds a dangerous edge, as if mad that you’d have the audacity to be drunk. He deftly types your access code in, and gently ushers you into your apartment. You stumble in your heels against his body, and Zayne wraps his arm around your waist to catch you before you fall. You flush at the way his hands palm the exposed skin of your lower back. 
"M’not drunk,” you protest, swatting his hand away, not wanting your body to give any of your feelings towards him away, but Zayne only grips you tighter, fingers flitting between the soft satin material of your dress and the goosebump ridden skin of your back. His arm on your waist feels so right, threatening to make you melt right into his embrace. But you fight the urge, trying to hold onto your annoyance.
You can’t see his eyes but you know they’re rolling in their sockets at your obvious drunkeness. He gently guides you through the threshold of your home and then kneels down before you. The sight of him on the floor in front of your feet makes you reel, hoping the furious blush is masked by the flush of alcohol in your blood.
"W-what are you doing?” You try to step back, but your knees wobble and Zayne grips your thigh in place. You shiver at his cold touch on your sensitive skin, a little too high for you to keep any semblance of calm.
"Do you want to stay in these deathtraps?” He murmurs as he starts to slip the strappy heels off of your aching feet. His fingers around your ankle tingle as he softly massages the red skin of where the straps dug in.
"Zayne? Why are you here? Did something happen?” Your voice wavers still, but Zayne’s cold touch is starting to sober you up and clear your vision as your mind tries its best to focus on him. Zayne doesn’t respond as he lifts your other foot and slips the other heel off. His fingers linger on your bare legs before he slips your house slippers on your feet, standing back up to tower over you. 
"It’s almost 2 in the morning, and you’re just now coming home,” his voice is hard and stern, it’s clear he has things he wants to say but you’re in no mood for a lecture on sexual safety, stds, and stranger danger. 
"I was busy,” you snap, your emotions running extra high from everything that had happened today, especially Zayne’s nonchalance. But he’s incredibly patient with you, as he always is, taking you by the waist nagain and leading you to your living room couch. You’re too tired to resist, and you desperately need to get off your aching feet.
"How was your date?” Zayne sits you on your couch and then heads to the kitchen, coming back with a glass of water. His question reminds you of how royally you screwed up today and your mood sours even more. 
"Fine,” you mutter, trying to keep from snapping at him again. Zayne sits beside you and brings the glass of water to your lips, tilting it for you with his fingers on your jaw. You take deep gulps, the cold water soothing your entire sore body. Sinking further into the couch, your mind wanders back to your disastrous screw up. You’d called Matthew Zayne. It literally couldn’t get more mortifying than that.
Zayne stares at you and you know he doesn’t believe you, so you murmur again, "It was fine.” But as his intense eyes bore holes into you, your voice cracks under all the feelings you’d stuffed deep down today. 
He was here now and it confused you to no end. You’d wanted nothing more than to spend your day with him, but he’d pushed you away. Were you really that blind that you’d developed feelings for a man who did not feel even slightly the same way? 
Your eyes well up with tears at the thought and you try to subtly brush them away by pretending to scratch your cheek, but as always Zayne sees right through you. 
"Did he do something to you? Did he get you drunk?” Zayne’s voice is calm but hard and threatening.enough to scare you if it weren't for the way he softly gripped your chin, forcing your eyes back to his, using his free thumb to catch the tears before they can slip down your cheek
But through it all, you register the implication of his words. "Wh-what? No!” You exclaim, "Matthew was a complete gentleman.”
His eyes track yours, unwilling to let go of your gaze, "Then why are you crying?” 
You blink back your tears before more can fall onto his thumb. Your voice wavers as you stare into the hazel green ocean of his eyes, and you answer his question with a question of your own, "Why are you here Zayne?” 
"I wanted to make sure you got home safe.” Your chest constricts with unrelenting emotions, but your drunken haze makes you even more steadfast in your stubborn resolve. 
"Well I'm home, safe,” you avert your eyes, knowing if Zayne keeps staring at you with that intensity you’ll start to unravel and confess everything.
"Why did you take a cab home?”
Your eyes snap to his, "How did you know I took a cab?” And this time Zayne’s eyes refuse to meet yours, "Zayne? How long have you been waiting for me?”
Zayne doesn’t respond, instead brushing the tangles out of your hair. You try to get his attention by tugging at his tie, the alcohol making you feel much bolder than you normally ever would. 
You can see his adam's apple bob as he lets himself be drawn in, only slightly, towards you. At your pout, he sighs in defeat, prying your hands away so he can loosen the tightened hold around his neck, "I’ve been waiting for you…forever.” 
Before you can respond, he clears his throat and continues, "I got here at 9 and waited in my car when I knocked and you didn't answer.”
At your bewildered expression, he sighs and elaborates, "I just wanted to see you get back home safely. But when I saw you get out of that cab I needed to come check on you.”
Your brows furrowed as your sobering self tried to do the math in your head. Zayne can practically see the steam coming out of your ears and smiles lopsidedly, chuckling under his breath at how adorable you were being.
"You waited for 7 hours?!” You exclaimed, eyes wide. 
His grin deepens and you can see his eyes sparkling with laughter , "You are drunk. Why are you drunk?”
You purse your lips shut, unwilling to speak. With all the overwhelming emotions swarming your mind, you knew if you started talking now you would surely never stop.
At your silence, Zayne prods gently, "Talk to me, Y/N.” His voice is deep and commanding in a way that almost always gets you to listen to him. 
You zip your lips shut and turn away, doing your damn best to not give in. But Zayne’s touch, still on your cheeks, forces you back towards his eyes.
"Be a good girl,” he demands softly, his eyes searching yours for answers. 
Blowing out your cheeks like a child, you’re unwilling to give up the attitude, "I’m drunk because I was drinking.”
"Did Matthew take advantage of you?” Zayne’s jaw is locked and the intensity in his eyes is blinding, damn near dangerous. 
"No! Zayne, no. I went to a bar to drink alone, after our date,” you try to hide the embarrassment from seeping into your voice.
"Why? Did he do something to you?” His voice is still threatening, and you sigh at the unrelenting questions. You knew Zayne well enough to know he wasn’t going to let up, so it would just be easier on you if you told him everything that happened.
"Matthew was amazing,” you don’t notice the way Zayne’s eyes darken at your praises for the intern, "The date was fantastic. And after, we saw the sunset.” His expression is still unreadable and you start to fidget under his intense gaze, not knowing in the slightest what he was thinking. 
"And then he kissed me. We kissed. And that was it. I went to the bar and he went home. End of story.” 
Zayne’s fists ball so tightly his knuckles turn white, but he keeps his gaze steady. He doesn’t speak, and you’re scared of the tense silence that falls between you two.
"He couldn’t at least accompany you? Make sure you were safe?” You can tell Zayne is angry by the way his feet taps uncharacteristically erratically against the floor, "Driven you home?”
His questions make it impossible for you to forget about your horrifying mistake today and you just feel so incredibly bad for Matthew. The regret and embarrassment gnaw at your mind like parasites. And so against your better, albeit slightly still drunken, judgment, you finally blow.
"He left because I was thinking of you, okay? Matthew was a gentleman, he was funny, kind, and charming. And yet I was thinking of you the whole time. And so he left and I went to a bar and got drunk all on my own, okay?”
"You were thinking of me?” Zayne’s voice is an annoying mix of bewilderment, intrigue, and what sounds like mockery, which just infuriates you.
"I am always thinking of you Zayne! I thought about you at dinner, I thought about you when we watched the sunset, and I thought about you when he kissed me,” you burst, your drunken lack of inhibitions leaving nothing unsaid. 
Zayne’s face is unreadable again, but there’s a heat in his eyes that makes you tremble in your seat, "You were thinking of me when he kissed you?”
Unable to bear his unrelenting repetitive questions anymore, you explode, "Yes Zayne! And when he kissed me I called out for you!” The confession tumbles out of your mouth before you can even think twice about it. It takes you a second to realize what you’d just blurted out and you bury your face in your hands, wanting nothing more than to scream at the top of your lungs. Unfortunately it was 2am and you had neighbors that most definitely would not appreciate that. 
You feel his strong hands grab your wrists gently, prying your hands away from your face, wanting to see you, "You called for me?” His tone is as amused as it is intrigued and it frustrates you to no end, the shame weighing heavily on your mind. 
"Don’t tease me right now Zayne,“ you warn weakly, "I am always thinking about you. But you…” your voice trails off to a shallow whisper, "You don’t seem to think about me.”
Zayne is silent but his eyes are as intense as you’ve ever seen them, staring into your soul. The silence is thick in the air as you refuse to be the one to break it.
Finally, he speaks, voice clouded with indiscernible emotions, "Is that what you really think? That I don’t think about you?”
"Do you really think I waited for 5 hours, in my car, for you to come back because I don’t think about you?” Your breath catches in your throat at the pure and raw growl in his voice. 
Before you can respond, he continues, "I think about you every second of every day. I thought about you all day, thought about you on your date with Matthew.”
Zayne shifts so that he can cup your face with both his hands, drawing his face closer but not close enough, "I thought about him getting to hear your voice, getting to touch you…to kiss you. It drove me insane.” 
Your feelings churn in your stomach and into your chest, making it hard to breathe. The way Zayne is looking at you, his hands holding your face so possessively, threatens to stop your heart altogether. You’re drawn to him all over again, only this time it feels like he might be drawn to you too.
"W-why?”
Zayne doesn’t speak, and you watch as his eyes flutter to your parted lips as you pant out your breaths, eyes fighting to stay open amidst all the tension enveloping the two of you. 
"Why did you push me to go with him then?”
His eyes force themselves onto yours, as if unwilling to leave your lips, "I made a mistake.” 
His revelations quickly sober you up, and you’re left feeling vulnerable but bold. You softly grab a fist full of his tie, pulling him closer. You can faintly hear him groan under his breath, but he lets himself be guided towards you. Your lips are so close to each other that you’re inhaling each other in, and you beg gently, "Kiss me, Zayne.” 
Zayne wastes no time at all, threading his fingers from your cheek into your hair, pulling your face the remainder of the distance to his own. 
Your first kiss with Zayne is nothing like you’d daydreamed it would be. You’d imagined the patient and reserved surgeon to be soft, gentle, taking his time with you. You’d expected it to be passionate but reserved, like the handsome raven haired man himself. 
And while the passion was undeniably there, what you didn’t expect was the bruising claiming heat that came with it. Zayne’s soft lips marked you as his own, a lifetime’s worth of emotions evident in the way he molded himself against you. With every twitch of his lips, Zayne laid claim to what was his. He kissed you like you might disappear at any moment, as if this was all a dream.
And when his tongue swiped across the parting of your lips, asking for permission to enter, you gladly relented control and authority. After all, you were his. You think you had been for some time.  
You hadn’t expected your first kiss with Zayne to be like this, and yet it was everything you wanted and more.
When you shift yourself to climb on top of him and straddle him on your couch, Zayne reluctantly pulls away, hands still gripping the back of your head, "Y/n, we should stop.” But he can’t stop his hands from leaving your soft hair and resting on your hips, almost like a reflex. His words say one thing but his hands just can't seem to pry themselves off of you.
You’re taken aback by his words, unable to stop the insecurity and hurt that paints your face. Zayne notices instantly, one of his hands leaving your hips to stroke your cheek, hooking some of your hair behind your ear. You lean into his hand, the whiplash starting to exhaust you as much as it kept you on your toes. 
"I want to,” he whispers hoarsely as you squirm on top of him, answering your unsaid thoughts, "I can’t even convey how much I've fucking wanted to. But you’re drunk. And the first time I finally take you...I want you to feel every second of it.” 
Your eyes flutter at his words, stomach clenching in anticipation. Having fully sobered up a while ago, before he even kissed you, you can’t help but beg a little, "I’m not drunk anymore. And even if I was… I want you. I’ve wanted you…forever.” 
Zayne swears, his eyes going full doctor mode, and you can tell he’s inspecting every inch of you to try and discern if you’re truly sober or not. You fidget nervously under his intense stare, to which his hands grip your waist painfully tight to keep you in place.
"Stop,” he grits out forcefully, as if in pain. You do your best to still in his lap, and that’s when you feel the unmistakable bulge of his erection underneath your parted dress that had ridden up to bunch at your hips, right against the pantyhose against your cunt. 
"Are you sure this is what you want?” He groans as your body presses deeper into his lap, "Because once…we start I won’t be able to stop.” 
His words send a shiver down your spine, the heated warning doing nothing but arousing you to your core. Through your hooded eyes, you nod eagerly at him, "M’sure Zayne. Won’t want to stop.” 
He smirks at you, a heart stopping smile that melts your brain and cunt simultaneously into a leaking mess, "You asked for it love.” 
Before you can even have the chance to physically combust at the affectionate pet name, Zayne whisks you into the air, scooping you under your exposed knees effortlessly. You yelp, clutching onto his neck as he carries you like a bride into your bedroom, navigating your apartment like he owned it. He bent down to capture your lips with his again, like he couldn’t physically wait to get you to your bed before claiming you again. 
You feel the cold press of your sheets against your spine as Zayne sets you down gently, and settles in between your thighs on top of you. His eyes absolutely devour you whole, raking up and down your exposed satin clad skin, "You look beautiful. I’ve been wanting to tell you all night.” His praise is throaty with desire and it makes you squeeze your thighs together against his body in anticipation. Your face heats at his words, and you run your palms up and down his abdomen, the material of his dress shirt feeling like silk against your burning skin. 
Zayne grins and chuckles, mostly to himself, but the sound catches your attention and you find yourself pouting in self-consciousness, "What’s funny?”
Zayne’s long fingers trace the outlines of your body under the satin dress, eliciting soft moans from you that please him to his core, "You just look so beautiful.” His fingers reach the bottom of your dress and begin to stroke the fabric of your pantyhose, inching up under your dress, so torturously slowly, "You wore this for him, yet I'm the one that’s going to tear it off you.”
Your body trembles at his words, the pool between your legs growing wetter. You can feel yourself growing impatient, only wanting his body to press onto yours, to suffocate your.
"Zayne please, don’t make me wait any more,” you murmur as you sit up on your elbows, pressing your forehead against his. You heartbeat is quick and your rapid breaths fan across his face. 
His eyes darken at your pleas, the hazel hues appearing almost a light brown, "Fucking hell Y/N, you’re going to drive me insane.” He sits up on his knees, loosening his tie before undoing it completely and discarding it on the floor next to your bed. You bite your lip as you watch him undo the top three buttons of his shirt, his toned chest on display under it. 
Leaning back down, he presses a bruising kiss against your swollen lips. His hands wander to the thin straps of your dress, gently tugging until they slip off your shoulders, letting him tug your dress down until your breasts are exposed. His tongue against yours is unrelenting, marking every inch of your mouth as his.
Detaching himself from you, he buries his face into your neck, his cold lips incredibly soothing against your lust burned skin. You cry out when you feel his teeth softly sink into the skin of your pulsepoint, as he suckles on you like you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted. 
"Zayne,” you gasp out, his tongue and teeth working in tandem to have your mind filled with nothing but his mouth on you, "Please.”
He trails down your neck and collar, inhaling you into his lungs at every opportunity. You feel his smile against your skin as he reaches your breasts, your nipples pebbled from the lust. He voice is muffled against you, "Please what, my love?”
"I…” you’re too mortified to say the things you want him to do, so the silence overtakes you. Unhappy with your hesitation, Zayne bites into the supple flesh above your pert nipple, eliciting a string of moans and squeals from you. He’s instantly using his tongue to soothe the pain away, quickly replacing it with waves of raw pleasure. 
Zayne lifts his head, staring at you expectantly, "I can’t continue if you don’t tell me what you want.”
His unrelenting teasing drives you to the edge of madness, your arousal evident by the way it leaks through your panties and your pantyhose. But you’re stubborn, still refusing to speak. 
"Good girls listen to their doctors don’t they?” He places fleeting kisses onto your goosebump riddled areolas, careful to purposefully neglect your increasingly sensitive nipples.
"Should doctors really be this intimate with their patients?” You retort like a brat, wanting to dish back all of his incessant teasing.  
He smiles at you, thoroughly amused at your insolence, "I suppose not, but am I really just your doctor?” With that he captures your waiting nipples into his mouth. You cry out at the incredible feeling of his cold lips on your breasts but his warm tongue on your nipple, your lower body thrusting up uncontrollably into his crotch. 
He groans into your chest as you brush against his throbbing erection, restricted by the confines of his pants. Against the heat of your womanhood, Zayne hardens impossibly further, feeling like he might actually explode against the constraint. The sounds of your pleasure and your cries for him make it difficult for him to concentrate.
Switching to your other nipple, Zayne uses one hand to undo his belt, letting it fall to the ground with his tie. He undoes the button and zipper his pants, yanking them down with such feral urgency. When his cock was finally free, he broke away from your chest, hissing in relief. You look down and you’re met with the realization of why he was in so much pain. 
Zayne was large. In a way that terrified you to your very core. You could imagine that the restraint of his briefs alone would be uncomfortable, painful even, when holding something like that back. 
Zayne catches your stare and he grips your chin between his fingers, guiding you to his eyes instead, "It’ll fit baby, don’t worry.”
You fight to keep your lip from quivering, trying not to get lost in his green eyes, "Will it?”
"I'll make it fit, but first let me prepare you love,” he says Matter-of-factly, pressing a kiss to the bridge of your nose. The certainty in his voice turns you unbelievably on and you find yourself needing to please him. Your hand seeks out his erection, grasping it firmly into your fingers.
He groans at the slightest touch, knees buckling into the bed beneath you. You start with languid and deliberate strokes, feeling every vein pulse under your fingers. Your thumb finds his large engorged head, already leaking with pre cum, feeling every smooth surface of his cock under your touch. While Zayne writhes on top of you, you revel in his glorious manhood, everything about it utterly perfect and terrifying.
As you touch him, Zayne leans into the crook of your shoulder, laying claim to your sensitive neck. He marks every inch of bare skin he can find, leaving a trail of red and wet bruises in his wake. 
Your entire palm is wet with his leaking arousal, as he moans so closely into your ear. Gently, he pries your palm away from him, sitting back up onto his knees, smirking satisfyingly down at the marks he’d left, "God, I've waited so long to have you.”
You reach down to shimmy out of your pantyhose and black evening dress, leaving you in your black lace thong, naked, willing, and pliant before him. You see him gulp harshly, his eyes hazy with need, and you sit up to level with him, "So take me Zayne.”
A low growl rips from his throat, as he pushes you back onto the bed, setting your head against your wooden headboard. Zayne tortures you, kissing down your collar, your chest, your naval, and finally down the soft mound of your pelvis. 
Zayne seems almost feral as he looks at your lace covered cunt and back up at you, "Did you really wear this for him?”
"N-no,” you whine, "I wouldn't have ever l-let him. He wasn't you.”
Zayne seems somewhat placated by your response, hooking his cold fingers into the waistband, his voice a low grumble, "That’s my good girl. No one will ever see you in or out of these, but me. Right?”
Your brain fogs over as he slips your soaked panties down your legs, his breath hitching seeing the string of clear slick clinging to your cunt. 
"Fuck.” He’s lost in his stares, in absolute awe of the meal before him, carving every single perfect centimeter into his memory. You squirm under his intense stare.
"Zayne please don’t make me wait anymore,” you wine, crying out as he bends down and his lips graze the apex of your slit. 
His voice is incredibly smug, "You are so beautiful when you beg for me.” You sigh in frustration as his lips and fingers continue to just barely graze your needy body. 
"Zayne, please,” your body thrusts into his, but he holds you back down, almost impatiently.
"Behave yourself, Y/N. You can do that for me, can’t you?” His voice is full of command, making you back down instantly, shivering at the suspense of his words.
"I didn't wait this long to have you just to rush all the things I want to do to you,” he all but purrs, as his lips find your soaking slit.
The room is filled with your lewd cries as Zayne’s tongue licks a stripe from your clit to your throbbing hole. As your doctor, Zayne knew the ins and outs of your body but you never expected him to know you like this. Like his tongue was designed for nothing else but to deliver you the most unimaginable pleasure in this world. 
Zayne groans when his tongue enters you for the first time, the quivers resonating straight to your core. His nose brushes against your clit as he fucks you with his tongue, the vibrations of his own lust filled grunts bringing you closer to releasing all over his skilled mouth.
Your thighs clench against his face, and you almost worry you might suffocate him. You try to pry them away from him, but he only grips them with his strong hands, bringing them closer to his face, wanting nothing more than to be yours, wholly and irrevocably.
"You taste better than I ever imagined,” he moans out, staring into your eyes from between your legs. You blush at the filth of his words and the glistening slick smeared across his lips and chin.
"Did you – ahh hah – think about me often?” You tease between the sounds that spill out of your mouth uncontrollably.
He doesn’t answer, instead capturing your entire clit into his lips, sucking in earnest. You feel his smirk as you squeal out, hands digging into the fabric of your sheets and tugging hard. His hands knead your ass as he continues to eat, positively starved.
"Z-Zayne I-I can’t take much more,” you slur, your toes curling against his sides as he goes back to spearing his tongue in and out of you, using the tip of his nose to massage your clit, inhaling the smell of your arousal into his lungs.
"Yeah? Is my girl gonna make a mess for me?” He breathes into you, his hands reaching up to toy with your nipples. You cry in response, feeling the coil in your gut tightening beyond belief, the pleasure threatening to make you explode.
"Cum into my mouth love, let me taste you,” he whispers breathlessly into your cunt, slipping his middle finger inside of you, the wet sounds of his skin pounding into yours filling the room. You come done instantly, screaming as your back arches off the bed and you release all over Zayne’s waiting mouth, hands ripping at his soft hair. 
"That’s it baby, look at you cumming from just one finger,” he muses, working you through your orgasm with just his middle finger. You let out a stream of broken moans, unable to form any words.
"Fuck you’re this tight around just one of my fingers?” He murmurs before dipping back down to devour everything you give him. 
He laps up your spend eagerly and diligently, not letting a single drop go to waste. Refusing to relent against your twitching clit, Zayne devours you until the overstimulation lights your pussy on fire. He’s always had a sweet tooth and it looks like he’s found his absolute favorite dessert, unwilling to give it up any time soon.
"Such a messy girl,” he mumbles to himself, the clear strings of arousal sticking from your wet thighs to his chin. 
Your thighs tremble at the discomfort of overstimulation, doing your best to back away from him, "Mmm Zayne, s’too sensitive. No more, please.”
He relents reluctantly, looking utterly displeased with having his treat taken away. As he sits up, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and leans forward into you, tapping your lips with his thumb.
"Open,” he commands forcefully, bringing his soaked middle finger up to you. You part your lips obediently, welcoming the taste of you on his skin. His eyes squeeze shut and he lets out a deep heated moan at the feel of your tongue on him, tasting everything he got to taste. His cock literally felt like a ton of bricks needing to be pleased. 
Releasing his finger, you reach for his length again, "I-I want to make you feel good too.” 
Zayne presses his cold lips to yours, simultaneously undoing the buttons of his shirt. He pulls aways to shrug the clothing off his broad shoulders, giving you an eyeful of his glorious physique. He shivers, letting you jerk his erection up and down, but pushing you down when you try to get on your knees before him.
"Next time. We have all the time in the world,” he whispers, pushing you against the headboard, holding your cheek in his large hand, "But right now I need to be inside you.”
The smoldering fire in his eyes makes your mouth dry, and you nod meekly. The promise of a ‘next time’ is enough to have you ready for him again. Your cunt still quivered, recovering from your previous orgasm, but pooling at the hoarse need in his tone. 
As your head lays on a pillow against the headboard of your bed, Zayne lifts you from the small of your back and shoves another pillow behind you, so that you’re elevated towards him, served on a silver platter.
"Spread your legs for me,” he growls, the urgency in his voice leaving little room to protest. And so you obey, widening your legs for him, watching as he admires the area between your thighs like it was 
His hand reaches to cup you, clit caught against his palm and fingers toying with your hole, "Who does this belong to?” 
But you can’t hear him through the searing pleasure of his touch against your over sensitive body, the blood pounding in your ears like drums. Looking at where his hand meets your body, you cry out at his ministrations against you, your thighs trembling in shivers. 
With his free hand Zayne grabs your chin, slipping his thumb into your mouth, harshly forcing your eyes to his, "Don’t look away. Be a good girl and answer me.”
Although his words are driven with lust, they remind you of the emotional turmoil you’d been weathering because of your feelings for the man in front of you.
"M’yours Zayne, always been yours,” tears well in your eyes and you hope he can understand the weight behind your words, behind all the lust and arousal filled craze. 
Zayne stares back at you, and his eyes hold an entire galaxy of emotions that match the colors of his irises: desire, devotion, awe…and love. 
"And I am yours,” his words strike your heart and you lean up to slot your mouth against his. As he kisses you, he lines up his thick length with your cunt, teasing your clit with his engorged tip, his pre cum mixing with your spend that still leaked out from your prior climax. You cried into his open mouth at his teases, your back arching off the pillow and further into his cock. At your movement, his head catches onto your throbbing and waiting hole, eliciting a deep grunt from him. 
He pulls away, groaning, "So impatient, you want it that bad?” You whimper, burying your face into his neck and latching onto his pulse point to save yourself from having to answer. 
"P-please…” you whisper into his ear. He groans, fishing through the pocket of his pants as he pulls them off of his legs. 
"Please what, love?” He smirks at you, pulling his wallet out, now just in his briefs pulled down to let his massive erection free. 
You gulp, staring at the way he stands so proudly against his naval, reaching comfortably to his belly button. His girth rivals that of at least three of your fingers.
The rustling of plastic snaps you out of your shameless ogling. Zayne places a condom packet between his teeth, tearing it with one hand. You gulp at the sight of him, but you protest, "I–i um,” you clear your throat, trying to work up the courage to vocalize what you want, "You don’t have to use that.”
Zayne’s dark eyes catch yours, and the edge in his voice is dangerous, a warning, "Don’t tempt me. I need to protect you.”
Your face burns as you try again., "W-what I mean is, well as my doctor you know I'm clean.” You do your best to stop your voice from wavering, "And I-I um I'm on the pill.”
Zayne’s eyebrows quirk as his irises darken with heat, "How come I didn't know that?
"I’ve been using an online service for a few months,” you say sheepishly, "S-so you don’t have to use that.”
Zayne catches on, a satisfied smirk gracing his features, "Is that so?” He teases his entire length on your slit, practically fucking you along the lips of your womanhood. Using his swollen tip, he taps your clit forcefully, eliciting a throaty yelp from you.
"Tell me what you want.” You shiver at the pure feral domineer in his voice.
"P-please Zayne, I want it. I need it.”
"What do you need baby?” 
You groan in frustration, but give into his demands, "I-I need you Zayne, need you inside. Need it so bad.” The way you can see his breath hitch in his throat fills you with confidence, so you lean closer until your bottom lip brushes against his, "Need to feel you inside, please Zayne.”
His jaw locks as he grits out forcefully, "I will give you everything.”
Zayne holds his cock with one hand, lining it up with your entrance. His other hand grips the wooden beams of your bed frame, "Can you take it Y/N?”
If you’re being completely honest, you’re not sure you can. Though you weren’t a virgin, you had never even seen a man so large, let alone attempted. But at Zayne’s expectant expression, you nod eagerly, "Y-yes I can, I-I can try.”
"Good girl,” he mutters, before sinking himself into you. The stretch is so much worse than you imagined it would be, practically splitting you in half. You squealed, clawing at his biceps as he did his best to enter you. Feeling so incredibly stuffed, you look down only to see he’s barely just gotten his tip inside.
The vein in Zayne’s forehead throbs as his jaw slackens, a string of swears leaving his lips, "Jesus you’re like a vice down there. I need you to loosen up love, or else I'll never be able to get inside.”
You pant against him, not knowing what to do but to watch the way he stares intently at your tummy. The heat and desire in his expression arouses you beyond belief, and you unconsciously squeeze your velvet walls in excitement. 
Zayne’s knuckles turn white as he grips the headboard for support, the veins in his forearms bulging as he groans out, "Fuck baby please. Are you trying to squeeze it off?”
"Sorry, m’sorry. S’too big,” you wail, hands gripping his shoulders for support. The stretch is nothing like you’ve ever felt, and you don’t know if you can take much more than what’s already inside you. "Z-Zayne it’s too big I c-can’t,” you pant, doing your best to relax and loosen up your muscles. 
"You can, you’re doing so good for me Y/N,” Zayne huffs out, pushing deeper into you, the slick from your forming arousal and his pre cum starting to make the stretch easier. The drag of his cock against your gummy walls starts to feel so torturously delicious, like your body was made to take him in. 
Finally, he eases into you, eyes unable to look away from where your bodies connected.
"If you could see how – hah – beautiful you look like this, spread out for me,” he grunts, being as gentle as he can manage, when all he wanted was to ram into your warm and tight cunt, squeezing him so tightly. 
"Been waiting for the day I could – shit – finally be inside you. Drove me fucking insane thinking about you and Matthew.”
His words are enough to have you leaking all over your joined bodies, the slick dampening his pelvis and your thighs. As he seats himself in you as deeply as he can, his tip brushing against your womb, he lets out a shaky breath of ecstasy.
"Is this what you – hah – thought about? When you were with another man?” His words are claiming, making butterflies explode in your gut and your cunt to flutter around him. You can only moan and drool as his body thuds into yours, over and over. 
"Sweetest little princess cunt I've ever felt,” he swears, languidly withdrawing from you before pushing back in, knocking the breath out of you. With your head leaning against the back of your bed frame you can see every second of his glistening length burrowing in and out of you, like it absolutely owned you. 
"Z-Zayne,” you moan, nails digging into his shoulders, "Please.” You don’t know exactly what you’re begging for, but you can’t stop the words from coming. 
"Hah, if you want something you have to – fuck – ask for it love,” he pants, doing his best not to get lost in the pure pleasure of finally getting to be inside you.
His words send you reeling, the ecstasy increasing with each deliberate and hard drag. You fight through the fucked out haze, vision blurred from your hooded lids, "Hah - harder please.”
At your request Zayne stutters for a brief second, your cunt squeezing so tight he could barely move, "Anything for you.” 
With his hand clutching the frame, he uses his other hand to rub harsh circles onto your swollen clit. His pelvis smacks against your thighs and ass so hard that the bed posts knock into the wall repeatedly, the skin slapping sounds mixing with the sounds of the wood against the plaster. 
At the added stimulation your eyes roll into your brain, your eyelids weighing down heavily. Zayne leans in until his chest presses against your breasts, your breaths heaving in tandem. His eyes follow yours, forcing you to hold eye contact with every deep thrust into your soul. Against your will, your eyelids flutter as the pleasure starts to overcome your fighting consciousness.
You can vaguely make out Zayne’s smirk, as his hand leaves the frame to cup your chin in his palm, "Don’t tell me you’re already worn out, love.” His fingers flick against your clit.
You yelp out, nails digging into his back with one hand while the other hand smacks his shoulder gently. You pout, "You’re so mean to me.”
He leans down to kiss your shoulder, his pace never faltering. He chuckles against your skin, "But you can take it, right? You always take me so well.” The double meaning of his words makes you clench in excitement, the praise making your chest tighten.
He groans as you clench down onto him, threatening to make him blow, "Hah so fucking tight. You like that huh baby? You like it when I praise you?” He thumbs your clit with more intensity, wanting to see you come absolutely undone for him.
You bite your lip to keep from screaming, nodding eagerly in response to his words. Zayne’s thrusts only grow in intensity, as if he’s trying to reach your esophagus from your cunt. You’re a mess of uncontrollable moans and mewls, unable to stop your eyes from rolling back and your tongue from hanging out as he fucked you into oblivion.
"Look at you,” he grins arrogantly, voice husky with desire and raw possessiveness, "Going on a date with my intern just to end up with my cock stuffed in you.”
You whine at his words, simultaneously not wanting to think about Matthew but also being so turned on by the dominating undertone of his words. His fingers abandon your clit, much to your disappointment, to trace the bulge his cock makes in your tummy. His other hand pulls your chin down so you can watch him.
"Look how deep I am, love,” he grunts. You watch in awe as the small bump in your stomach  bulges and disappears with the rhythm of Zayne’s thrusts. With every withdrawal, Zayne’s impressive cock glistens with slick, the throbbing veins bulging enough to make you drool. Absolutely entranced, you fit your hand under his to stroke at his cock as it pushed through your tummy.
Zayne swears as you caress his cock through the bump in your tummy, throwing his head back to catch his breath. His hand goes back to paw at your clit, trying to stop himself from blowing his load into you right there.  
As the climax builds in your gut, you throb around his impossibly hardened length spearing in and out of you, to which he twitches inside of you. The sounds of your combined whimpers and grunts, the lewd smacks of his damp slick dampened skin against yours, and the bed slamming against the wall overwhelm your brain until you can only think about Zayne, his cock inside you, and the overwhelming pleasure he’s giving you.
"Zayne, I-I’m close,” you cry, hand abandoning your stomach to loop around his neck, digging your nails into his damp skin.
"Fuck – I know love, I can feel you trying to squeeze it out of me,” he grunts, body slamming into yours so hard that your body smacks against the headboard.
"I’m gonna – gonna cum,” you cry, nails digging into the taut muscles of his back.
"No,” he demands, and you do your best not to gape at him. He gasps through his next strokes, "Be a good girl and wait for me. I want to feel you finish all over me when I cum inside you.”
"O-okay,” you say, but you’re honestly unsure if you’ll be able to wait, the waves of pleasure crashing into you so roughly it threatens to overtake you right then and there.
"That’s my girl,” gripping your chin, Zayne leans in to kiss you again, his tongue claiming your warm and waiting mouth. Your eyes squeeze shut and your body tenses as you try to quell the raging tides of the impending climax, moaning endlessly into Zayne’s mouth.
You pull away to breathe, your lungs needing as much oxygen as possible to withstand the ecstasy. Zayne’s hand grips the wooden beams above your bed again, his knuckles turning white as he watches the pleasure contort your beautiful face. 
"I-I can’t – ”
"You can, baby. I’m – hah – almost there, just hold on a little longer for me,” he grunts. The pleasure and pain of his edging threatens to knock you unconscious, but you nod and throw your head back as your eyes roll backwards again.
Through your fucked out haze you can vaguely see a strange icy sheen forming on the wooden beams of your bed’s headboard. You follow the path of luminous crystals and realize they’re forming from Zayne’s hand that grips against the frame so tightly his knuckles are pale and taut, as he comes closer to exploding inside you. 
Unable to shake yourself out of the pleasure, you can’t find the words to warn Zayne. You continue to watch in awe as the beautiful iridescent flakes frost over the dull old wood. His palm is covered in a layer of snow white frost, the tiny snowflakes dancing around his skin as it grips the furniture so forcefully. You realize he’s losing control of his evol, because of you. And the idea of that threatens to push you head first into your second orgasm of the night.
It happened so fast. As Zayne bullies himself in and out of you, thrusting as if his life depended on it, the wooden beams of your headboard cracks in his hand, the wood turning brittle against his icy evol, and shattering under the force of his bruising grip. 
Zayne shields your body with his own as frozen wooden splinters fly everywhere, his thrusts stuttering as the sound of cracking wood pierces the air. You can tell he’s scared, constantly worried about losing control of his evol around you like this. His hands clasp together, massaging his wrists and trying to calm the unpredictable storm of his evol. You can feel him about to pull away, to get away from you and keep you safe.
You hug him close to you as he tries to pull away not wanting him to stop, not caring the least bit about the splintering wood falling into your hair. The worry and disgust with himself is evident in his eyes, and it tears at your heart so you do your best to comfort him, "S’okay Zayne, it’s not a big deal, I promise.”
But his eyes are far away, thick with emotions that make your chest lurch. You hold his face in  your hands trying to get him to look at you and not the splintered mess of furniture above you. You lock your knees around his waist. "Zayne baby,” you soothe gently, "Look at me. Look at me please.”
His frantic eyes meet yours under the guidance of your palms. You watch as the storm in his eyes calms down ever so slightly when they meet yours. You brush your thumb against his cheek, whispering, "Don’t stop, please. M’so close. I need you.” 
But Zayne is hesitant, only filled with worry for you, his thrusts halting altogether but still thick and solid in you. His jaw clenches down, "Did I hurt you?”
"Not at all,” you reassure, hand stroking his anguish laced face, "I don’t care, please make me cum Zayne, want to cum for you s’bad.”
Zayne continues his thrusts slowly, trying to shake away his anger at himself, "Hah – I'm so sorry Y/N, I'll buy you a new one, okay?”
"Y-yes whatever you want, but please just fuck me,” you plead, not wanting your climax to slip through your fingers, "Please don’t stop.” 
Your begging is enough to have Zayne going feral again, slowly regaining the vigor in his thrusts. His hand dusts the wooden fragments away from your hair. Your head sinks deep into the pillow, and falls back to peer at the gaping hole in your bed frame, slightly in awe of his sheer primal strength. It honestly turned you on unbelievably, edging you closer and closer. 
"Zayne I c-can’t wait anymore, m’sorry m’cumming,” you wail, your nails digging through his back as the ecstasy explodes in your body, from the tips of your curled toes to your fucked out brain. Your walls flex against Zayne’s vigorous thrusts as he continues to chase his own high, briefly forgetting about the furniture he’d ruined in his brief slip of control. 
Your eyes pull away from the snowflakes melting on the splintered headboard and fixate on Zayne’s eyes as your vision spots with fireworks, his cock pistoning in and out of you relentlessly. 
He lifts your thighs up until they press against his chest, your muscles aching in protest. Your ankles rest on his shoulders as he drives himself into your guts at this angle. He leans down and your body screams at the stretch in your muscles but he hits you so deeply like this you can’t feel anything but pleasure. He hits your g spot at every thrust, your body barely recovering from the previous orgasm as he steers you straight into another. 
"Sh-shit,” he groans, his eyes hooded as they bore into yours, "Squeezing me so fucking tight, are you trying to milk me? If you keep clenching down like that I'm gonna – fuck!” He swears at your nails digging into his broad back, dragging deep scratches into him as he fucks you roughly through the pleasure. 
"P-please Zayne I want to feel you,” you cry, "Cum inside me, please.” As Zayne pounds into you with no semblance of mercy, stars blur your vision, your body doing your best to accommodate him and the endless waves of overwhelming ecstasy. Your wet release splashes against your skin with every thrust of his hard muscular body. 
"F-fuck I'm gonna cum so deep inside you baby,” he groans with his eyes intently staring into yours, "This pussy is all mine.”
"You’re mine,” his voice is intense, a primal growl of urge and possessiveness, claiming you as his with both words and with his body. He bends back down, pressing a wet open mouthed kiss into you, tongue intertwining with yours needily. Both his hands threads through your hair, tugging gently as he rocks into you. He groans into your mouth, body shuddering as he finally releases into you.
Zayne rips away from your lips to rock onto his knees before you and carry you onto his lap, wanting to be able to hold you as close as possible as he emptied rope after rope inside of you. The angle allowed him to literally fuck his spend up into you. Your legs wrap around his waist and your hands around his neck, unable to even squeal at the sudden movement, only able to drool out against the crook of his neck. 
His spend is so deliciously hot inside of you, as your pussy quivers at the warmth, squeezing him even more. He forces his tongue into you again, wanting to be attached to you in every way as he pumps every thick rope into your waiting womb. As he tugs on your bottom lip, body still pressed on top of your legs, cock hitting your sweetest spots, you release all over him again.
Your eyes squeeze shut as your cunt pulsates uncontrollably, pulling more and more of his essence into you. Zayne’s thick muscles shake under you, the waves of his orgasm rocking his entire body into yours.  
You pant as his bounces slow, his unending stamina finally coming to a halt as his sweaty chest heaves against your trembling breasts. He presses gentle kisses to the deep hickeys he’d marked onto your skin, using his broad hands to caress your bruise splotched throat.
The sound of satisfied pants and soft moans blankets the two of you as you snuggle into him, never wanting this moment of post sex bliss to end. Your collective spend begins to leak down onto Zayne’s lap, your poor cunt physically unable to hold the copious amount of spend inside of you. 
As his member softens it begins to slip out of you uncomfortably, so you squeeze in an effort to keep him in you as long as physically possible. 
Zayne swears, his eyes heated and his gentle grip on your throat tightening just slightly, as he warns you darkly, "Behave. Unless you want me to take you again.”
And though the idea of him bringing you to orgasm again, and many times after, sounds like heaven on earth, you don’t think your poor cunt can possibly handle any more pleasure for tonight. He chuckles when you ease up, stroking the curvature of your naked spine with his icy fingers. 
"I’m sorry about your bed, my love,” he murmurs into the shell of your ear, falling softly backwards onto the bed and guiding you down with him until you rested on top of his hard muscular body, his softening erection still nuzzled deep inside you. He’s careful to lay the two of your joined bodies away from the destroyed headboard, holding your head protectively against his chest.  "I will buy you a replacement tomorrow.”
His free hand roams every inch of your body, from twirling the strands of your hair to gripping the supple flesh of your rear. 
"S’okay Zayne, it’s not necessary,” you murmur sleepily, tracing the contours of his taut muscles, "I don’t need a new frame.” Honestly the idea of Zayne breaking your bed in pure primal lust was enough to have the heat collecting back in between your thighs. 
"I would rather you take me on a date,” you smile into his skin, "Since you ruined the one I had today.”
Zayne chuckles, the sound so warm and beautiful to your ears you think you might melt right into his solid frame, "I suppose I did. Will you let me take you out tomorrow?”
You lean up so that your chin rests on his chest and you can peer at him through your lashes, giving him your best begging face, "Only if you beg.” 
He looks up at you, the amused lopsided smile on his face just begging to be wiped off, "Please? Let me take you to dinner.” He lifts your chin off his chest with his index finger, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to your lips. He smirks when you shiver at his fleeting touch, watching you bend to his very will.
"And then after…” he trails off, fingers leaving your face to trace against the side of your exposed breasts, and up to your hard nipples. You bite your lip, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of moaning out. 
As he incessantly fiddles with your skin, you finish his thought with a joke, "After you can come destroy my new bed frame too.”
Zayne’s eyes darken with mischief and amusement, "You shouldn't write checks your body can’t cash, my love.”
The filthy promise in his words coupled with his cold fingers pressed deliciously into your pebbled peaks rip the whimper you’d been holding back out of your lips, your cunt clenching in anticipation despite your crippling exhaustion.
But it seems Zayne knows your body as well as you do. "But for tonight, just sleep,” he mumbles into the top of your head, pressing his lips into your hair. 
"Mmm stay here with me, please,” you murmur into his chest, letting the sleep take root in your pleasure numbed mind. 
"I'll be here when you wake up,” he reassures, his voice falling deeper and rougher with exhaustion and hands shifting to cover your bodies with your comforter. His hands then wrap around your waist, holding your body against this, as if scared you’d disappear from his arms. "I won’t ever leave you.” 
Your heart flutters as the unconsciousness claims you. "G’night Zayne,” you mumble, kissing his chest.
"Good night my love.”
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© aeyumicore 2024.
.ᐟ✧ THIS IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT. I WILL ONLY POST ON THIS ACCOUNT AND AO3. i am not @/aeyumicores or @/aeyumiicore or any variations of my blog name.
✧.˖ i do not permit translations or reposts of my work on tumblr, ao3, or others. please do not reuse my blogpost headers, dividers, or layouts. these are original designs of my own.
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lena-oleanderson · 2 years ago
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my version of "i wonder what else they have written - RPF hockey???" is my 22 ghostbusters (2016) fanfics i wrote within 2 of my 8 years on ao3
#in 16 months to be precise#there's like 90k words there - none of them are good#please do not read them#but i keep them up as like. mostly a reminder to myself as to where i came from#i cannot look back at that era of my life without cringing a bit (this is impossible to do in general for early teen years)#and honestly all of my writing pre-2020 makes me cringe too much to be able to read it#but like. i wrote So Much for that fandom and Through Doing it i improved a lot. and i wouldn't be anywhere close to the writer i am today#if i hadn't#for context - the only other fandom that comes close to rivalling that in numbers is supergirl with 18 fics spanning 5 years#and just over 77k words all of them added together#like in total i have 52 fics on ao3 that's 8 more than my gb total#and Nearly 230k words altogether#so technically i've written more non-gb than gb#but that 133k took me 6 years!!#granted it's bc good writing takes uh. more time. i wasn't even editing when i first started posting#and i've written lots of original work in that time#but All of that original work - i hope to get published maybe someday soon-ish#if that ever goes anywhere - i owe that in large part to fanfic bc that's where i got all my practise my immediate feedback so much communi#and all that originates from ghostbusters (2016)#my first real fandom - the first place where i really felt like i fit in (it was like. exclusively neurodivergent queer women & non-binary#people - i didn't even know i was neurodivergent back then!! i hardly knew what adhd was. i hardly knew who i was. i was still semi-recentl#out as gay. i was figuring out how i fit into the whole gender thing#and that fandom had so much genuine love in it. it really shaped me as a person and i'm glad i was a part of it#even when i - yk as i am today - i probably wouldn't gravitate towards that movie#i've avoided rewatching it bc i realise it is much better in my fond memories#but i'm glad i was there!!#so even if i cringe abt it now i also refuse to orphan those works
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muqingslover · 2 months ago
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[ Sooooo, happy easter my pookies! 🐰 So sorry about being dead for a bit I was hospitalized LMFAO!? I'll be going through requests soon! Dw guys, I see you and I hear you!!
In any case, what better way to kick back and relax than to write about the LADS boys jorking it ]
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For personal enjoyment only I believe Sylus has a rut cycle. I mean, c'mon who hasn't thought about this at least once? Bc I sure have and I could make a whole post about thi— *gunshots*
Now, if I'm honest, he doesn't feel the NEED to masturbate like, ever. Nor does he really enjoy it.
His libido (and attraction in general) is directly connected to you so, if you're not actively riling him up or hanging around, he's just chilling.
Except during his cycles when his hand is forced (literally) and he'd rather blow his load than blow his own brains out.
Sylus is a growler! Though the low, almost rumbling sounds that escape his throat are not stemmed from desire, but from genuine frustration.
Why so angry, you may ask? That is because he knows it would be so much more enjoyable if you were there with him and it feels meaningless to do it by himself.
" He is rutting his sore, dripping cock against a pillow on the bed, bath robe sloppily slipping down his shoulders as he lets out another low, breathy groan. His hand grips the headboard of the bed tightly, nails digging into the wood hard enough to leave claw marks behind. His jaw is tight and sweat trickles down his forehead, each thrust into the soft cotton doing very little to soothe the hot, bubbling frustration in his gut.
'Help me, please.' He asks in his thoughts again. Will you hear his prayers this time? "
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Xavier however doesn't need you physically present to get worked up.
Not particularly ashamed about it either. You're welcome to watch him anytime if you want.
He enjoys masturbating a normal amount but it's done veery sporadically. Usually he has to be in the right mood and have the right circumstances presented to him.
It happens when he's feeling lonely and needy for your presence next to him. You have been gone for longer than originally intended and now he is like a dying bunny starving for attention.
During sex Xavier is usually a quiet groaner or more of a "soft breaths" type of guy, but when he's alone? WHINY AS HELL.
" 'Mhn-mn...' He agreed softly, though his mind didn't register a single word that came out of your mouth besides the fact your voice sounded so close to his ear. He swears this hadn't been his intention when he came over to nap on your bed, but that raspy, tired edge to your tone began to make him feel tingly and before he knew he had his face buried into your fuzzy blanket while his free hand stroke his poor, messy cock. His other hand is busy covering his own lips to muffle his whiny moans, only letting go to answer when you ask if he had fallen asleep.
'Please keep talking..'
It's needless to say he enjoys the post-orgasm sleep.
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I see him as the type that feels guilty about his sexual desires.
Zayne knows it's a chemical bodily reaction, but he just feels so....shameful. Especially since the reason for said "reaction" in his pants is you.
He does it quickly and quietly somewhere no one will see or interrupt him such as in the bathroom or his (locked) bedroom.
He's so quiet. I wish I was joking. Besides his heavy breathing there are no other real sounds from Zayne.
The only exception is right when he cums because then a strained, gasped moan escapes him without fail.
" 'Damnit...' He cursed under his breath. His glasses slip to the very tip of his nose as he pants, shirt trapped between his lips to muffle himself as an extra precaution and his hands work fast up and down his length. He can feel himself boarding so close to the edge and he knows just what he could do to achieve that bliss, but his moral compass holds him back from letting his imagination further any more into his fantasies. "
The post-nut clarity hits him like a damn truck exactly ten seconds later and he goes on a cleaning spree like there's no tomorrow.
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This guy canonically went into heat. I rest my case.
Fine fine, since you insist let's push that aside and talk about just him feeling perky.
Rafayel is the type to masturbate after you do something that turned him on without meaning to.
Originally, the intention was to take a loooong, cool bath to calm himself down but in my twisted little mind being in the water makes him 10X hornier.
His voice is lower and quieter when he's excited. A moaner through and through, and occasionally will let out a curse or two.
" His knees fall further apart, spreading himself on the large bathtub as he comfortably leans against the edge. His eyebrows are furrowed in a way that makes him look almost angry, one of his fangs digging into his own lip as the sensitive scales on his skin react to the small ripples in the water around him, sending mind numbing tugs directly to his boner.
'Fuck...mn..' He murmured to himself, his thumb pressing against the pink, swollen tip and causing his head to tilt back in pleasure. "
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A wise person (me) once said: Life is hard, but Caleb is always harder.
Pookies how many times have we been over this? He has his hand on his stiff ladies and gentlemen ! He's not a pilot for no reason ! ! And he's a FREAK about it ! ! !
His self-restraint is GOD given but his horny meter is also through the charts. Those pent up needs have to be released one way or another.
During teen years Caleb would use your clothes, his imagination and whatever else he could get his sticky little claws on to make his fantasies a bit more palpable.
Now that he's older though he barely has any time for himself and just kinda forgets about such things.
Or well, that was the case until you walked through the gates.
" The door to his office was locked, but if anyone was to pay a bit more attention they'd be able to hear to quiet grunts coming from the other side. The dog tag between his teeth did nothing to muffle the pathetic sounds leaving his throat, his sweaty forehead softly thudding against the metal when he leaned forward, one hand clenching the doorknob while the other moved quickly on his aching cock. 'Please, please please—' He begged between raspy whimpers, making a mess on the floor in front of him less than a minute after.
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demonic0angel · 6 months ago
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City Spirits Cont. (click for clarity)
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Ty for the various suggestions and ideas from everybody! And thank you for the support! I really appreciate it :D
Notes:
+ Dani is the spirit of the Batvehicles, including the Batboat and Batplane. As explained in this post, she can travel freely amongst any vehicles owned by the Batfam in Blüdhaven and Gotham City. She mainly stays with the Batmobile, however.
+ Dan is the spirit of Blüdhaven. There are a few reasons for this.
1) I had already planned the background for this AU longggg before I ever thought of drawing it out, and there had always been a sister spirit to Gotham City (I will make a post about this later), 2) I feel like too many spirits in one city would piss off Danny and Dan and also piss off me, 3) Both Dan and Danny are stronger than Jazz and Dani, and I wanted to show that through the scale of what they're spirits of, ex: Danny being the most powerful so he gets the biggest city and Jazz being much weaker, so she is only Crime Alley, etc, 4) Blüdhaven is often described as being even more violent and corrupt than Gotham (which I honestly don’t believe), but I like how Dan represents that sort of city, 5) *gently makes my Dick and Dan puppets kiss* no other reason.
+ All spirits were attached to their place at similar times, but did not come to awareness at the same time. Danny woke up to existence first, while Dani came to awareness last. Their strength also relates to how big/important the places or objects they are attached to.
+ Dani is dressed like Batman with Robin features and accents. She isn't dressed in the formal, old style like everyone else bc the Batmobile isn't that old. She came to awareness not that long after Batman started using it and due to time shenanigans, so she is rather young compared to her siblings.
+ Dan is dressed like a 1900s cop/detective. I got the inspiration from this reblog by @blackdiamondcat and I really liked it. His face is hidden bc all of their faces are hidden.
+ Extras: other spirits include Sam (who travels between any park/garden in Gotham, which includes Neo-Eden and Robinson Park), Tucker (the Watchtower), Valerie (Arkham Asylum), and Wes (the gargoyles in Gotham City, as inspired by @voiceofdragons in the comments of the original post). (Still subject to change). The only spirits in Blüdhaven are Dan and occasionally Dani, since Dan is very territorial.
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flamblouyant-blog · 1 month ago
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The Lost 2011 Swedish Interview in QX Magazine
First I want to say if you know anything more about this article, please share it!!
I went through countless blogs on here with timelines, huge masterposts, rare pics etc .. and couldn't find anything about it. So here is everything I was able dig up
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QX is a gay magazine in Sweden
Translation x - link to the original post they translated for us
(Please look at the link though because I didn't show everything below)
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There is so much to unpack here ...
but
As far as I know, they are the only page to have ever posted that article. It was published Nov 6 2011, this Tumblr post was posted Nov 24 2011. And everyone thought they were lying. No one could find the source, so he posted this x
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Now here's some reactions he got because for some reason, he was the only one to talk about the article it seemed?
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Now let's go back to Harry saying this
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UM?? Hello? I feel like I'm losing my mind
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and then it was never really talked about again!! none of these responses have any notes and then there was really nothing at all after this.
How I even came across all this is because I was going through all my archives on here and stumbled upon it
July 28 2014 this account posted that they found the article x
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So it took 3.5 years for it to ever be found/mentioned/talked about again? This post only has 700 notes so it quickly died back down and then once again, was never talked about again
edit: I made the mistake thinking that was posted July 2014, but that was when I reblogged it. It was originally posted in 2012 - which makes it even more interesting that it was still circulating for years but never really picked up
And here's some other pages from the magazine
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Someone please talk with me about this because I feel like I'm going insane!!!
Link to the magazine online x and it's still available for sale so if anyone buys it please let me know!!
UPDATING as I get more info
@bulletprooflarry actually did have this in their timeline masterpost :') link here x
This interview was on October 2, 2011 (the magazine was published in November)
Thank you @broken-beaks for this comment
‘This is from October 2nd in 2011 when they were at Nobis Hotel in Stockholm, getting interviewed by Ronny Larsson before their signing at Café Opera for the fan project #Bring1DtoMe :)’
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(please do not message him) but he did confirm that he did the magazine interview this same day and it was not video recorded
That means the interview was done the same day as
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THANK YOU to @mloucember @Rosann_1986 on X (twitter) for helping with finding the interviewer :')
THANK YOU @hoovesandfloorpaws for finding the bulletprooflarry tl and also this blog @hazzalovesboo that talked about it in 2012 as well x
And thank you to her AGAIN bc she just posted the full English translation to the article that’s a much easier read x :) please check it out
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lizardsfromspace · 2 months ago
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Talking about Chris Columbus made me think about what was probably the most prophetic part of JK Rowling's bad wizard books at the time
If you go back to coverage from the time (which I did verifying the info in the Chris Columbus post, discovering this) you see that she wanted a capital-d Director for it. A visionary auteur worthy of her wizard book for children. She wanted Terry Gilliam; the studio said no. She wanted Guillermo del Toro; he said no. She wanted Steven Spielberg; he said yes, then dropped out due to "creative differences" (he wanted to do it as an animated film, and chose to make A.I. instead). Then with the third movie, they landed one: Y tu mamá también director Alfonso Cuarón. At last, she would get to see what it was like for a visionary creative to tackle her work, as she wanted all along
And when it came out, there was one problem. The reviews were really, really good...and all of them were praising Alfonso Cuarón. They were saying that he had added so much to the wizarding world of JK Rowling (TM). Some were even implying he handled the material better than she did, and a few were saying that outright, because it was true
Suddenly, the prospect of her work being handled by a Visionary Aueteur was less appealing. Cuarón couldn't give less of a shit, he went off to make Children of Men, so strange how basically everyone involved in the bad wizard movies used the money from it as a springboard to kickstart a successful career doing shit they actually care about it except its writer. So two movies later, we meet David Yates, whose filmography looks like this
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He does have works other than this - all of it on TV. Miniseries/TV movies and TV episodes. Though his only TV work since Harry Potter was one TV pilot.
Someone who had spent years talking about her hopes that Spielberg or Gilliam or del Toro or M. Night Shyamalan would add their Visionary Touch to her books was now happy having some random TV director handle everything forever. A random TV director who hardly does anything except Harry Potter. Whose career depends on her and her series. Anyway I'm sure she just really liked his miniseries about human trafficking a lot
It reminds me of when the director & writer of the first 50 Shades movie did a lot of editing to remove the unnecessary guff that was only in the book bc it was in the original fanfic - like pointless side characters who were only around bc they were a Twilight character in the original - & make it work better as a film, and then E.L. James fired everyone and had her husband write the sequels so they wouldn't ruin her baby. JK Rowling really wanted the prestige of her movie being made by a Steven Spielberg but didn't realize that a director like that would alter the material for film even when adapting a good book. She just wanted a famous person to enthusiastically co-sign that her book was very good and perfect and required not one change before becoming a classic of cinema. Meanwhile Alice Walker, Michael Crichton, Philip K. Dick and H.G. Wells are all better writers than JK Rowling, and none of them were granted that level of deference
Anyway who could have foreseen that the writer who made sure her film series was made as bland as possible after having one director actually dare to change and adapt her work would one day get so mad at her movie's cast no longer speaking with her she tries to remake the whole series to "replace" them
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earthrealsvn · 7 months ago
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taking care of you when you're drunk
in which the Haikyuu!! pretty setter squad take care of you during/after a night of drinking.
category: post time-skip!!! (except Suga bc that’s a college!au), fluff, crack
warning(s): mentions/use of alcohol, vomiting in Akaashi’s, perhaps Suga’s and Kageyama’s could be seen as suggestive at parts but i promise they’re not meant to be
w.c: 3.5k all together
a/n: hello! i haven't posted in forever but don't perceive that. most of these are based off of things i’ve said and/or done, except i didn’t have a partner to care for me during or afterwards. as stated above, this is post time skip, aside from Suga’s which is a college!au, so all the boys are a legal age to drink. anyways, enjoy the boys taking care of a drunk reader!
Sugawara Koshi
you laugh as you nearly tip over on your way to the bathroom, the sound of your friends cheering behind you ringing in your ears. you had all just started your last year of college and decided that it was worth celebrating. so, you offered up your apartment for the night, fully intent on having a good time before stress came to kick your ass.
another laugh bubbles in your throat as you misstep, landing on what was thankfully your bed. though now, your predicament is how you were to get back up. you give it two attempts and whine when you’re unsuccessful. it shouldn’t be that hard to stand, you do it all the time! planting your feet on the floor, another try is made, but you’re still incapable. tears spring into your eyes despite the fading rational part of you knowing it’s really not something to cry over. the drunken majority of you, though, is ready to throw a full-on fit.
but before you can even make a sound, someone’s taking your hands in theirs and gently pulling you to your feet. a stupid grin makes its way onto your face when you realize it’s your boyfriend, Sugawara Koshi.
“Ko!” you squeal, throwing your arms around his torso and squeezing. his laugh is as gentle as his return of the hug, but the teasing undertone is obvious. “didn’t think you’d show.” the words are muffled due to your cheek being squished into his chest.
“i got off early enough, so i figured i’d come see what my baby is up to.” his lips press themselves to the crown of your head to lay a brief kiss before he’s pulling away. “why were you on your bed instead of having fun, hm?”
you gasp when your original quest is remembered. “had to pee.” you begin a definitely not straight line towards your bathroom, laughing. you nearly slammed your hip into your nightstand along the way, but Suga’s hands placed themselves on your waist, guiding you the rest of the way to your destination.
there’s a brief fumble for the lightswitch until your bathroom light turns on, Suga having pressed it before you. he closes the door to give some privacy whilst you take care of your business, and you appreciate it until you come across a hurdle.
“hey Ko?” he hums from the other side of the door. “i can’t unbutton my pants.”
he can’t stop his laugh, and it only increases at your impatient whine. he steps through the doorway and tugs you closer, deft fingers unbuttoning your pants for you. he steps out again afterwards, letting you relieve your bladder in peace.
“can you button them by yourself?” he asks once the sound of the sink goes off and you groan at his teasing. he gets his answer once you open the door, pants already taken care of. “good job, sweetheart.” he coos, cupping your face and squishing your cheeks.
“shut,” you don’t even finish the rest of your sentence as you pull away and toddle back to the living room. he follows behind, hands hovering above your hips just in case drunk you decides to take another tumble.
“hey, Y/N, we’re taking shots!” your friend shouts from the kitchen and you squeak in delight. the silver-haired male walks into the kitchen with you to find your friends gathered at the counter with the shot glasses in front of them. “you want your favorite?” you nod in response, leaning against Suga in order to have some support.
as the shots are being poured, a noise of realization leaves you. “oh, Ko, you should take some too!” your head tilts back to look at your boyfriend, a drunken grin on your face.
“alright, but not too many.” he agrees, pecking your forehead.
“lame,” you laugh and an endearing smile plays on his lips as he stares down at you.
“well, someone has to make sure you don’t die,” a hand comes up to pinch your cheek and you shriek, trying to pull it off. you’re unsuccessful, obviously; you don’t have much strength when drunk and Suga still has all of his slight muscles from high school volleyball and working out regularly.
you still accept the shot glass he gives you, though, and a friend gives a half-assed toast and a countdown before everyone knocks their shots back, the familiar tingle of alcohol sliding down your throat. you also don’t protest the water Suga raises to your lips afterwards either, taking a few sips to help neutralize the taste.
it’s midnight but Suga knows the party’s just begun.
Oikawa Tooru
“i’m on the floor,” you mutter out once more, head falling against the wood of the island. “‘m drunk ‘n on the floor.”
“yes, you are drunk and on the floor, sweetie.” the familiar hands of Oikawa Tooru, your boyfriend, settle in your hair and massage at your scalp. a happy hum leaves your throat and you raise your heavy head to smile at what you think is his direction.
“‘s’all blurry,” drunken laughter laces your words and Oikawa can only shake his head endearingly. “wanna nap.”
he barely manages to catch you as you topple over sideways, body desperately trying to meet the ground. the rest of your friends laugh at your antics and Iwaizumi gives Oikawa a shit-eating grin. everyone knows you’ve drank too much too fast, but your week leading up to the New Year’s party had been stressful and you wanted to forget. so now, here you were, collapsed in your boyfriends’ arms, too intoxicated to do much.
“do you wanna move to the couch, sweetie?” your boyfriend asks, hand rubbing your side. he has to lean in to catch your mumbled response, but he’s able to detect the agreement. “okay, i’m gonna lift you now, alright?”
“uh-huh.”
he lifts you up into a princess carry and makes his way to the couch. as soon as your back meets the cushions and Oikawa’s arms move, you snuggle yourself onto your side, barely able to remember that laying on your back drunk could kill you if you start puking. your boyfriend settles himself onto the floor in front of you and pulls out his phone. he starts to scroll through social media but is quickly distracted by the incessant poking at his shoulder your fingers are doing.
“can i help you?” he raises a brow as he turns to face you, holding back a coo at the sight of your squished face.
“wanna watch—” the rest of your sentence is mumbled but Oikawa figures you’re wanting to watch your favorite show. he decides it’s better to entertain you than have a drunken partner complaining at him for however long. so he obliges, switching to the streaming service and holding the phone where you can see it comfortably.
a delighted laugh slips out of your mouth and the hand that was poking him falls limp onto his arm, your fingers twisting into the fabric of his sweater.
as you watch the show, he watches you, internally hoping you don’t throw up on him you’re sober enough for a New Year’s kiss.
Kenma Kozume
your panicked yells cause Kenma’s eyes to leave his game and travel up to you, the spike of concern diminishing as soon as he realized why you were making said noises. in your current round of Just Dance, you’re barely able to keep up with the moves showing on the screen, body tilting dangerously to the right. the friend that’s joining you is doing better in terms of score, but they’re practically in your space, nearly punching you every time they move their arm.
the cat-like boy shakes his head with a sigh and returns to his game, determined to finally beat the boss that’s been killing him all month. he’s so focused on the battle that he doesn’t realize your round is done until someone drapes their body over his, distracting him enough to lose. eye twitching, he turns to yell at them only to see a large, stupid grin on your face.
“Kyanma, come dance with me!” you exclaim through hiccups.
“i don’t want to. i’m trying to beat this—” he starts to turn back to his handheld but stops at the sound of your voice.
“you— don’t you love me?” tears spring to your eyes and Kenma whips his head back around to look at you again. “i love you Kenma, i want you to dance with me!” you’re wailing now and Kenma panics, setting his handheld down so he can pat your head. it doesn’t quite work, however, and the sound of your cries are drawing attention.
“Y/N,” Kenma sighs and takes your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “i’ll dance with you after this boss, okay puddin’?”
sniffling, you quiet down before hiccuping again, “promise?”
“promise,” he agrees, pulling your face closer in order to press a kiss to your forehead. “just give me a few minutes.”
he lifts his handheld back up and returns to his last save before the boss, once again determined to win. from beside him, you wipe your nose on your sleeve (something you can only stand to do when you’re drunk, he’s noticed) and fit yourself into his side to watch. just before entering the battle zone, Kenma glances around to see if anyone’s watching before tucking you under his arms and into his chest, ignoring your giggle of delight.
as the battle goes on, he lets you babble drunken advice, laughing quietly if he finds it funny. you cheer when he lands hits and gasp when his character takes damage, hands clinging to his sleeves in excitement. although he’s ultimately focused more on the game, he still gives you fleeting kisses on your head.
when he finally wins, you applaud him before bouncing up, tugging on his arm to get him to stand. he makes sure he saves before turning the device off and stands up to follow you to the center of the living room. you hand him a controller with a beam while your friend bounces up to join. just before you select the song, Kenma silently sighs to himself.
he hates doing too much physical activity, especially things he doesn’t enjoy doing, but he loves you too much to say no.
Tobio Kageyama
a sigh and a “oi, stop squirming!” echoes in your ears as Kageyama tries to help you change. he’s been trying to get you into pajamas for the past three minutes, but you’re making it difficult by moving every time he reaches out to remove your clothes.
“but Tobio, it tickles!” a whine is laced into your words, feet kicking lightly.
“grin and bear it then, idiot. you can’t wear this to bed.”
“watch me you a—” you don’t get to finish your sentence as Kageyama lightly pins you down, forcing your clothes off you and tugging on your pajamas right after. “Tobio!”
he grunts in response, tossing your clothes into the laundry basket. you continue to pout and whine as he lifts you off the bed so he can carry you to the bathroom, setting you on the counter. he prepares your toothbrush and turns back to you, offering a ‘open’ as he holds it to your lips. although a part of you wants to refuse, you’re starting to get sleepy, so you oblige, letting him gently brush your teeth, spitting out the toothpaste when told.
you fall in and out of sleep as he goes through your night routine, and the next time you fully come to, he’s lifting you again to bring you to bed. you hum contentedly, grinning at him when he places you back onto your bed. he returns it with a rare smile that he reserves for you and gets under the covers on his side. he lets you find a position that won’t be uncomfortable for your drunk self before he lays with you. it’s quiet for a while, the two of you taking in the comfortable silence until you speak up.
“i’m gonna be so fucking hungover tomorrow.”
beside you, Kageyama snorts, “yeah, you had way too much,” his hand pats your head, “but i’ll take care of you, i suppose. make you some eggs or avocado toast or something.”
“you can barely cook. you burnt water.”
“that was one damn time!” he snapped, giving you a squeeze, “you distracted me!”
“whatever. jus’ don’t mess up my breakfast,”
“i won’t, dumbass. i love you,” you feel his lips on the top of your head and you finally succumb to sleep.
Akaashi Keiji
you dart up from your comfortable position on the couch, hand clamping over your mouth. everything is still blurry and your head is pounding, but the need to throw up is fast approaching in your throat.
“Keiji! Keiji i need—” you pause to breathe, hearing rushed footsteps as your boyfriend pops into view from the kitchen.
“darling? what’s wrong?”
“bucket,” you mutter, hand returning to your mouth. thankfully, Akaashi is a quick thinker, and he realizes what’s going on. turning back to the kitchen, he cringes when he realizes the only thing large enough is the freshly washed popcorn bowl. biting his lip, he tries to find something else, anything else, but your whine has him snatching the bowl and running to you.
he gets there in the nick of time, and you lean over the bowl as everything you’ve just ate and drank came out. he rubs your back in comfort but ultimately isn’t too surprised — you drank a lot without the ideal amount of food in your body.
“ew,” you lift your head and Akaashi moves the bowl to the ottoman in front of you in case it’s needed again. “Keiji, why does alcohol tase funny?”
“i don’t know, love,” he sits next to you as he replies, letting your body fall onto his lap. he knows it probably won’t do much, but he places his hand on your stomach and gives it little rubs, hoping it can at least supply comfort.
your friend rounds the corner and lets out a whistle upon seeing the bowl. you hiss and flip them off tiredly, trying to sleep it off.
“how long do you think they’ll be like this?” your friend asks.
“i’m hoping it’s just for two to three hours, any more and i’ll be concerned.”
“well… they really went for it so i’m just hoping they don’t die.”
a huff of agreement comes from Akaashi. before he can say anything else, you’re launching yourself back up and hunching over the bowl. your friend audibly cringes and returns to the party in the kitchen whilst Akaashi resumes rubbing your back. both of you know that this is the last thing either of you want to be doing at a birthday party, especially the one for a specific owl lookalike.
thinking back to how smashed Bokuto is, though, Akaashi doesn’t think he’ll mind if the two of you are missing for a few hours while you spill your guts into your popcorn bowl.
“i think… i think i want a… a new popcorn bowl Keiji,” you pant as you settle back onto his lap. he feels bad, but he can’t help the grin on his face at how small you look and act right now.
“yeah?”
“mhm. don’t wanna think of puke whenever i eat some.”
“understandable,” Akaashi leans down to press a kiss to your cheek. when he sits up fully again, he mentally prepares himself for the next few hours of your misery.
when you next sit up to vomit, Akaashi is there to rub your back. he’s thinking it might not be so bad until a shout from the kitchen has him groaning.
“hey hey HEY, Akaashi! i threw up, man!”
Atsumu Miya
you stared blankly at Atsumu as he doubled over laughing, slapping his thigh repeatedly. on the other hand, you had no idea what he found funny enough to cry over.
“why are you laughing? it’s true!” you give his side a gentle kick while carefully trying to avoid spilling your alcoholic beverage.
“yeah, but yer so honest ‘bout it, babe,” he chuckles and grins at you, “yer gonna make me choke or something.”
“good.” you grumble before chugging the rest of your drink. “but really, it’s not my fault they’ve been annoying me recently.” and before Atsumu can laugh again, you whip your head around to glare at your friend.
it takes Atsumu a moment to realize you’ve said the last part loudly, and your friend definitely overheard. they stare back at you, equally as drunk and aggravated, and the blonde panics. it’s true that you and the friend you’re staring down have been on rocky terms with each other the past week or so, but doing something while drunk is the last thing your boyfriend wants you to do. there’s no chance of a physical altercation (neither you nor your friend can move correctly enough for that), but it doesn’t mean words won’t be said.
“oh, c’mon babe, ya don’t mean that.” Atsumu’s laughter is now uneasy as he takes your shoulders in his grasp, trying to turn you away.
“i’m pretty sure i do mean it, Tsumu.” he winces as you swat his hands away.
“what? that i’m annoying? please,” your friend scoffs, “what about you? you’re the annoying one!”
almost immediately, a shouting match ensues. a desperate Atsumu is trying to stop you from drinking more as your friend berates you, and the rest of your friends are trying to calm the one down.
“i wouldn’t be surprised if Miya breaks up with you because you’re so damn needy!”
“HAH?” he sees it in your eyes, and before Atsumu can hold you down, you’re staggering towards your friend. everyone is launched into a full-blown panic as your friend stands up too.
it’s a good thing you’re both drunk, Atsumu decides, because it’s much easier to catch up with you and stop anything from happening. your friends are dragging the one out, thanking you both for a good time, and Atsumu’s arms are caging you against his chest, ignoring the weak punches to his arms you’re doing.
“babe! what were ya thinking?! ya can’t just start something when you’re drunk, it—” he stops when he realizes you’re now crying, gripping his arms as you struggle to stand. “h-hey… Y/N? baby, what’s wrong?” Atsumu sits the both of you down, pulling you into his lap so you can comfortably bury your face in the crook of his neck.
“you—you won’t actually break up with me, right? you don’t… don’t think i’m needy… do you?” his heart breaks. he knows this subject is a sore spot and as much as he tries to show you otherwise, it still plagues your mind from time to time.
“i don’t think you’re needy, Y/N. i check in on ya when i can because i want to, not because i think ya need me to. if they think you’re needy and annoying for wanting to talk to someone when it’ll help, they’re not a good friend.” you sniffle as his fingers rub at your temples. he presses kiss after kiss to the crown of your head, and soon enough, you’re calm.
and when you pull away from the embrace, the genuinely appreciative face you give him sets his heart aflame.
Semi Eita
your water bottle in hand, Semi entered the kitchen to refill your water when he noticed his phone light up in his peripherals. he makes sure he finishes his task of getting you more water before moving to where his phone is charging on the island. he hopes it’s not important — the party you’re throwing at your shared apartment is too loud for a phone call. he’s surprised, however, to see a text from you. you, who’s currently smashed and curled on the couch with your drink.
setting your water down, he pulls up his messaging app only to see something that tugs a soft smile onto his face.
my muse
eita where are u :( ily
the silver-haired male looks up and towards the couch where he can see you pouting at your phone. he watches you type and turns his attention back to his phone.
my muse
i can c ur reeding theis coward
ah yes, your drunk spelling. a laugh bubbles in Semi’s throat as he grabs your water bottle and makes his way back to the couch, sitting next to you.
“what’re you doing?” he asks teasingly, passing you your now refilled water.
“texting my boyfriend,” you say as you take the bottle, taking a few sips. “he’s reading the texts but he won’t respond.” he watches you type again.
my muse
eeeitaaaaaaa :(
a grin appears on his face as he finally replies to you.
Semi
yes, my muse?
he hears your squeal of delight from beside him and you perk up. it’s almost as if subconsciously you know he’s right next to you because you stretch your legs over his and settle against his shoulder. while you have no qualms with showing affection to your friends, you’ve never full-on cuddled up to them like this, and Semi can’t hold back his laugh.
his phone buzzes with more misspelled texts from you, and he makes sure to respond so you can keep looking all joyfully cute whenever he does.
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