#only a lifetime

[closingwaters]

TIMING: June 21

SUMMARY: Teagan mourns her family's 20th anniversary.

WARNINGS: Parental Death, Sibling Death (mentions)

The water lapped against the shoreline, forward and backward, behaving as nature intended. Clouds glided overhead, the lake reflecting their beauty back to them. Teagan watched quietly, laying under a calm sky while a storm brewed just beneath her skin. It thundered and roared, her heart thrusting waves of earth-shattering grief to the tips of her fingers. The pain was dull, but constant. So heavy that she wanted to do nothing but curl into herself under the weight of such agony.

It was a beautiful day, really, Teagan thought. She scoffed to herself and squeezed her eyes shut, rejecting it completely. It should’ve been cold and dreary, but all the weather seemed to do was mock her. She bellowed out a cry that echoed and grew, calling out to her family, hoping they would somehow hear it and return the call.

But Teagan was only greeted with silence.

No warm smiles or undying patience. That was long dead with her mother and her siblings. No longer could she bask upon the beauty of her mother, who loved like a woman who lived in a time before man created hate from a collection of misguided beliefs. Cooked it into meals and pressed it into her children’s skin with every kiss and every firm hug.

All that, and it only got her killed. Teagan swallowed back a sob, choosing to project anger instead. Twenty years and she could no longer recall the sounds of any of their voices, and it was all she could do to not scream out her question, why? Why wasn’t the rest of her family as angry? Why did those hunters find it appropriate to break in and slaughter? Why was it so wrong that she wanted to set things right with every kill? And…how. How was she supposed to stop? How was she supposed to be a reflection of a mother she could no longer see, could no longer hold a mirror to? 

Truth was though, Teagan knew there were too many petitioners and too many questions for a higher power to answer back. There could be no swelling of nature into crescendos that rang an affirming melody that kept rhythm with the painful beat of Teagan’s heart. So she answered herself. Let grief take over and wash out her throat with wail, letting it grow distant in the echo among the trees and across the lake. 

She wondered for a moment if the reserve of her grief would ever end. Would there ever be room for anything else? With her new life, she felt like she wanted there to be. Love and care were slowly taking up space, and Teagan found that it felt right, that they were something she had yearned for but never quite let herself have. She pushed it all away for the sake of vengeance, and now, she was tired.

Teagan was tired of fighting time, battling a hurricane that only ever seemed to wash who she was away. She wanted to find herself again. So she stood, rising onto legs that were unsteady–tired from decades of running. There were so many things Teagan had done wrong, and for once, she wanted to start doing things right.

Habits die hard, and rarely ever laid still in a coffin, but Teagan was determined to at least try. Arden said that’s what mattered, didn’t she? As long as she gave the complement of not quitting—of not sitting when standing was called for, then that’s what mattered. Teagan would remind herself of that on the darkest days, and break her habit of self-reliance when she could. 

Looking at the lake one last time, a hopeful smile crept to her face, a decision affirming itself in her mind, heart clenching at the realization she had only a lifetime. Motivated by it, Teagan turned on her heel to act, only to find hope had manifested itself into a person standing a mere ten feet away.

“Arden.” Teagan smiled wanly, fighting every instinct to force her legs into a run, and walked languidly to her. Tears coated her eyes and cheeks, as she closed in, nose sniffling and breath hitching. Maybe it’d fall apart the next day or the next week, but Teagan would keep trying. They both deserved that chance, the opportunity to heal into something pure.

Saying nothing more, a promise was laid on Arden’s lips, and for however her heart would allow it, Teagan bid her days of running farewell.

[runaway90s]

My mom/soul sister Peggy Smith bought this for me right after I got home from Spiritual Bootcamp and was banned for a lifetime from TFU/COU.

[dramatic-long-coats]

Don't waste the time you have waiting for time to pass

It's only a lifetime

That's not long enough

You're not gonna like it without any love

So don't waste it

~Only a Lifetime, Finneas

[ofswordsandpens]

I fear that "fire bending didn't come easy to zuko" and "zuko isn't a prodigy" (both true) has somehow snowballed into "zuko is a bad or at best average fire bender".... which simply isn't true, especially by the end of book 3

[wayward-wren]

Thinking about. Stanley Pines. Once summer, not long after Weirdmaggedon. Sitting in his seat, staring at the tv but realising slowly he's not really watching TV, he's listening.

Listening to Soos, taking a tour group around the Shack, his voice confident and happy, eagerly telling tourists all kinds of tall tales. Soos, with his young son strapped to his chest, held close and dear to his heart, always knowing he is loved and wanted by his father.

Listening to Wendy and Melody, laughter turning to deeper conversations in the gift shop as Wendy pours out her latest dating drama and Melody listens sympathetically--not quite a mother, but an older sister figure is all Wendy wants at the moment.

Listening to a distant boom coming from the basement, a cause for some concern that fades quickly as three peals of laughter follow soon after. One deep and familiar, as comforting and close as the sound of a ship's motor and the open sea. One young and high, cracking with adolescent awkwardness. One loud and cackling, a hint of madness never quite leaving it but more settled than it used to be. And Stan figures it's probably time to send someone down to drag Ford, Dipper and McGucket upstairs before they forget what light is and get too nerdy.

Besides it's nearly dinner time, and he's listening to Mabel's steady, unrelenting chatter in the kitchen, punctuated by a few grunts of acknowledgment from Abuelita as they prepare a meal.

And Stan feels a strange, unusual sensation wash over him, something he hasn't felt for over half a lifetime, by a boat on a beach. A sensation of contentment, of security, of peace. And he realises that if he stood up and walked into any one of the rooms in the Shack he would be greeted with smiles and faces lighting up to see him and cheerful cries of his name.

And he looks down at the darned pig sleeping beside his chair and things, with oddly misty eyes, that he spent thirty years trying to find his brother again. And he succeeded--but somehow, he got more than that. He had formed around him, without even realising it, a family.

[mossy-paws]

these fuckass robots that I hate /aff (Ultrakill x PHIGHTING!)

the girls are PHIGHTING! again

[basedjamil]

anyone done this yet

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

[neon-psychopomp]

"Who Moved The Stars?"

Text reads: "How many seconds in eternity?"

Will I ever get Over Heaven Sent? Probably not.

Finished my sketchbook cover! I'll never pass up the opportunity to do a doctor who flower motif :D

I also made it into a free phone wallpaper that you can find over on my Ko-Fi

[lady-raziel]

i can't do this anymore. i can't. i can;t.

[shrimpchipsss]

read Living With a Tiger by x_los !

[thanksgiving-isnt-ur-fav-holiday]

what do you MEAN “Careless Whisper” by George Michael plays in the miraculous movie???????

[navree]

Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.

Kamala 2024!

If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.

But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.

[whathappeninglestappen]

I cannot express how much I think about this stat 🐐

[not-terezi-pyrope]

I don't believe in God, but if I did, I would fear them, not because I feel like that's a healthy feeling to carry in one's every day life, but because an omnipotent creator deity existing - let alone one that canonically punishes people according to its whims - would be like being under a giant's thumb at all times. Even if I were told they were the most loving wonderful God that might be imagined I could not help but fear them to at least some extent, because if the most virtuous, moral man on the planet is holding a gun to your head, he's still holding a gun to your head.

Moreover, the God or Gods of every extant religious tradition in the world today that I have any familiarity with are in my opinion morally bankrupt in their treatment of humanity, and so if I found out that any of them truly existed my response would be equal parts fear and loathing.

Murder the Gods and topple their thrones, and all that