#only ONE of them is a actual hero (julia. shes the only bitch here.)

[dorkousloris]

my polyam ass having a thought that two polyships i like (one i had been making for years, and other that i only just started to get into recently) have colors that really works well-

[polinator]

I have come here for one reason. To shout into the void of the internet.

Y'all. Y'all. Y'ALL. Bless your hearts. I love the Bridgerton canon. Since I read TVWLM over 20 years ago... well, liked it since then. Loved it more when I read AOFAG (and yeah, I know some people hate it, but I do not). And I say this as a person who has written fan fiction in this fandom and made physical things celebrating this universe.... It isn't that serious.

These are historical romance novels that lean into comedy a lot of the time. Historical rom coms, if you will. I wish people would stop interpreting them in the most tragic way possible without taking into consideration the intention Julia Quinn had when writing them.

Are there issues with scenes in some of the books? Yes. Do I adore every tiny thing in them? No.

But, what do you think JQ intended? Do you think she intended for her romantic heroes to come off as abusive sometimes? No. (Well, unless you are talking about Turner. For Turner the answer is most definitely yes.) The office scene in TVWLM, the lake scene in AOFAG, the engagement ball scene in RMB, and so on... they were written to be read like physical comedy. Like a screwball comedy. Like I Love Lucy where Ricky spanks Lucy. Is that problematic when we look back at it in 20fucking24? Yes, of course. But was Lucille Ball trying to imply Ricky Ricardo was an abuser? No. It was meant to be funny.

People take Colin to task for thinking about hitting Eloise. Y'all must be fucking saints if you've never thought about hitting your sibling. The fact he only hit her once I find amazing. My sister and I fought all the damn time. The love in the Bridgerton household must have been like a huge bubble. My parents were/are the most amazing parents God had ever put on this earth.... and my sister and I still fought. Also, I've def thought about strangling a boyfriend or two. And a child or two. Did I do it? No. But I thought about it. And you've definitely thought about doing bodily harm to someone. Because it's a human thing. It doesn't mean you are actually going to do it. And it certainly doesn't mean you're an abuser. Good god girl get a grip.

Julia just didn't think about these things as deeply as some in the fandom think she did. Like 20+ years ago when the books were first released they were popular but not that popular. People were not all over it analyzing everything like they are now. (I mean, we were to try to figure out who LW was at the time, but not everything else.)

On the same lines, Edmund was not an abusive father at all. Again, what do you imagine JQ's intentions were when she said Colin was horsewhipped? Do you think she actually meant beaten? No, of course fucking not. Over and over in her canon she shows and tells you what a great father Edmund was. She has absolutely no problem telling you if someone's dad or guardian are trash. Let us count the ways (spoilers below and trigger warnings for real):

Simon's father- pretended he didn't exist because he stuttered, fuck him up so badly he was going to not have an heir just to spite the hateful son of a bitch.

Sophie's dad- didn't give her any attention, left her to be raised by servants, only called her his ward, left her fate in Araminta's hands

Phillip's dad- horrible shit who actually beat Phillip with a whip, his scars are detailed, how he is beaten is detailed, his father's anger is detailed, is a huge part of the book, Phillip is afraid to touch his kids because he doesn't want to be like his father.

Gareth's dad- shit of a human being who treats his youngest son like trash because he is not his biological son, cut him off completely, tried to ruin the estate so he would have a shit ton of debt when he actually died, betrothed him to a girl with intellectual disabilities without his consent and said if he didn't marry her he couldn't go to school

Lucy's uncle- the third to worst person in a JQ book, stole money from their estate, betrothed her to (a very lovely) gay man because he was being blackmailed for treason, said he didn't give a fuck about her, made her believe her father was the treasonous bastard so he could guilt her into marrying the man, threatened Lucy at knifepoint, said he was going to watch while Lucy's marriage was consummated and implied that if her new husband didn't do it he would let the man's father rape her to ensure it happened

And who could forget... Hugh's father- a psychopathic piece of filth so wretched it's hard to list all the horrible things he's done from memory, but just here's just a taste: beats his sons when they do anything he considers to be wrong including misremember some part of their family tree and he enjoys it, repeatedly hired sex workers to rape his gay son and then would encourage them to beat him and helped beat him with his cane when the son wouldn't have sex with them, raped his wife repeatedly (and their sons could hear it), is so obsessed with his lineage that when Hugh, one son, was accidentally crippled he paid men to follow poor Daniel (the guy who slipped and accidentally shot him) to the continent to murder him and didn't stop until his son told him he would kill himself if Daniel died, he bribed servants so he could keep tabs on Hugh because that title is super important, he then kicked Hugh on his painful, injured leg and drugged him so he could tie him to the bed so that he could lock a lady in the room and force their marriage for the sake of that damn title, and more I'm sure I can't remember. AND he did all this without a trace of remorse.

And probably other fathers I can't remember. What does Julia Quinn say about Edmund? He was the best of men and of fathers. Now, thinking about JQ and how she's written alllll these other fathers, do you think she really meant that Colin was actually horsewhipped? No. She probably thought spanking but make it Regency.

I love her books, but do you think she's deep diving into research? Probably not. I mean, she forgot that she wrote Colin's birthday was in January. At the beginning of 'Just Like Heaven' Colin and Penelope are married and in the middle of the story they aren't even engaged yet. She is not thinking about things that deeply.

They are supposed to be fun and romantic and sometimes humorous and the drama... they are not meant to be analyzed and dissected like you would 'Invisible Man.' They aren't supposed to be all moody and intense-- it's not Dickens. Emotional, yeah of course, they are romances, but not taken so seriously.

But you know, don't come for my Bridgerverse canon babies, or I will cut you because I do take my love for them seriously. (Well, not Turner, you can have Turner.)

@your3fundamentaltruths I am not coming at you about Turner... well maybe a little bit. But you and I and maybe like five other people know the Bridgerverse well enough to get the reference.

[andawaywego]

Your fics are my favorite! Could you write one where some guy hitting on Dani too aggressively and won’t leave so Jamie has to step in? Maybe punches him, Dani takes care of her hand after and has a lot of feelings

okay! so i also got a more recent prompt for someone asking for Jamie to defend Dani, so this is for both of you guys. i hope you like it!

(check it out in my prompt collection for a bonus ending written by my hilarious bud, Julia)

..

Growing up, the storybooks always made Dani think that heroes come in suits of armor. Broad-shouldered, tall, handsome strangers who wait for you at the bottom of the tower asking you to let down your hair, give them your heart, just let them save you and they’ll love you forever, promise. And there was something about that she never wanted—she’s never seen herself in that throne room or glass coffin or anywhere else where a princess might need saving.

Because, no. She doesn’t need any saving that she can’t provide for herself. And she knows that. Really, she does.

But then again, she’s never had anyone knock a guy on his ass for her. At least, not until—

_____________________

Rewind.

The last night of Owen’s visit, they go to a bar in Burlington for drinks. It’s not a place they frequent, no, but it’s nearby and always seems busy. Certainly that can’t mean it’s unliked.

And it is nice enough. Clean booths, even if the benches are cracked vinyl, nice enough waitresses, good lighting and, importantly, not too loud. It’s a Friday, so it is fairly packed and it’s late, too, what with them having decided to come last minute after letting Owen cook them one more meal (“You’ll have plenty of leftovers,” he’d said, “so you won’t have to do take-out for a bit”; always trying to take care of them, even when he lives on the other side of the ocean).

He and Jamie are trying to outdrink one another, though neither of them had said this aloud. Dani sits beside her girlfriend, arm around her waist, and watches them fondly as some of Jamie’s beer dribbles down her chin. Somehow, she manages to finish before Owen does, and then she’s slamming her glass back down on the table in front of her, liquid spilling into her lap and Dani laughs.

“Oh my god,” she says, reaching across the table for the napkin holder. “You’re a mess.” She grabs a handful of them and turns Jamie’s head her way, mopping her face up while Jamie smiles and laughs at her own ridiculousness.

Owen stops drinking with just a splash left and sets his own mug down, shaking his head as he makes himself swallow. “I refuse to look like that,” he says, gesturing to her beer-stained flannel. “You win.”

“You refuse to look like what? A winner?” Jamie counters, a triumphant gleam in her eye that makes Dani sort of feel like swooning, even though that’s silly.

“A wet winner,” Dani amends and Jamie must be buzzed because her smirk only gets wider and she wiggles her eyebrows at Dani. “Stop.” Dani pretends to push her away as Jamie darts in quickly to plant a kiss on her cheek. 

“God, stop being so bloody happy,” Owen complains, not an ounce of animosity in his voice or his expression. “You’re making me ill.”

“That’s probably because of the beer you just guzzled down,” Dani tells him and Jamie cackles.

“She’s got your number,” she says. She lifts her hand up then, burping into her fist and then apologizing and Dani rolls her eyes.

Sometimes, it’s a wonder that this is the same woman who could make her weak-kneed with just a look. More than anyone Dani has ever known in her life, Jamie contains multitudes.

“I’m gonna get you two some water,” Dani says, getting up. 

Jamie throws her a happy grin and Owen gives a sincere, “Thank you,” that Dani waves off. She’s only a foot away from the two of them resume their childish bickering. 

Slowly, Dani weaves her way through the other patrons and makes her way to the bar, keeping to herself as much as possible. It isn’t as if she’s been in many, but it seems strange, almost, how the atmosphere of the place can change with the types of people who choose to inhabit it. When they first arrived, the place seemed warm and friendly—lots of clean lines and light greys. A modern-looking chandelier strung above the main tables past the bar. An exposed brick wall beside the booths. Without too many people in it, the space had seemed almost bonhomous. Welcoming.

Now, as the evening grows later and people are getting more and more into their cups, it’s begun to lose some of what made it convivial. 

So she tightens up her posture, holds her shoulders and head higher, and finds an empty space beside the bar to wait while the bartender assists someone else. There’s a song playing from the jukebox in the corner, but she can’t make out any of the words or even tell what key the melody is in. All she can hear is the distant, seemingly random scatter of an asynchronous beat.

“What have I done to deserve this?”

It takes Dani a moment to realize that, despite the phrasing, the question is being asked in relation to her presence. There’s a man sitting on a stool beside where she’s standing and he’s looking at her with dark eyes that make her feel even more on display. He’s smartly dressed, like he’d come to the bar directly from his office, and his tie is loosened around his neck, the top buttons undone in a blatant show of after-hours leisure. 

There’s something to the way he’s looking at her—the parting of his chapped lips—that makes her feel trapped. Makes her heart speed up in her chest.

“Excuse me?” she asks. Wanting to ignore him. Knowing in her heart of hearts that he will likely only persist even if she does.

“What brings a girl like you to a place like this?” he asks, eyes dancing with slight intoxication. Leering at her. 

Dani taps her fingers against the bartop, a quiet prayer of, “Come on, come one, come on,” escaping her lips as she stares down the busy bartender. Wanting a rescue. Wanting a way out.

“Did you hear me?” the man asks, and there’s a quality to his voice now that makes her feel even more on edge than before. 

Dani decides that the best course of action is to simply play dumb. “Sorry?” she asks, turning his way again with a stiff smile. 

He smirks. “I asked what a girl like you is doing in a place like this.”

“Um…” She clears her throat. “Waiting for the bartender.”

“Why don’t you sit down and stay a while.” He gestures at the empty stool beside him. “Let me buy you the next one.”

Dani presses her lips together. Takes a deep breath. “Thank you, but I’m uh...here with people.”

His expression darkens even further somehow. “Boyfriend?” he asks.

Her immediate reaction is to deny it because no. There is no boyfriend. Just her beautiful, silly, and very, very far away girlfriend. But then she thinks of Owen, also with them. Not necessarily intimidating, no, but another man at least. 

She grits her teeth. “Yes, actually. Right over there.” She points to the booth where Owen and Jamie are still talking amongst themselves. The man follows her gaze and stares them down. As he does, Jamie perks up, frowning at the sight of him and catching Dani’s eyes.

If there were a way to send for an SOS, Dani would have done it already. Instead, she has to settle for hoping that, after three years together, Jamie might be able to simply read her mind.

“Him?” the man asks. He turns back around and fixes Dani with a hard look that makes her skin crawl. 

“Yes,” Dani says. “Him.”

“He looks a little busy with your friend, wouldn’t you say?” He leans a little closer, and Dani jumps when she feels his hand touch her waist, trying to pull her in. “Come on, baby. One drink.”

“No, thank you.” Dani pulls away from him, anger flushing up her neck and chest. “And don’t call me that.”

He grips her arm next, a little too tightly, and Dani’s certain her heart is going to pound directly out of her chest. “What?” he asks, showing his teeth in a way that is so, so different than a smile. “Baby?”

Dani wrenches herself out of his grasp and pulls away. “Yes,” she says, a note of slight hysteria tinting the word. “Now—”

“Somethin’ the matter, Poppins?” 

It’s as if her lungs can finally expand when Dani hears Jamie’s voice, feels her warm, gentle hand on her waist. Immediately, she leans into the touch and turns to meet the worried, heated gaze of her girlfriend. She opens her mouth to say something, to ask for Jamie to please, please get her out of here, but she’s cut off by an irritated, “Oh,” coming from the man on the stool.

When she turns, he’s looking between them knowingly, eyes tracing the way Dani has turned herself into Jamie’s touch. 

“I didn’t realize you were one of them,” he spits.

Something hot and panicked shoots through Dani’s chest at his words, like lightning, like a bullet. She feels rather than sees Jamie stiffen beside her, pull herself up to make herself seem taller.

“What’s that?” Jamie asks, teeth bared and feral, already pushing herself in front of Dani to stand between him and the man.

He scoffs, and rolls his eyes. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have wasted my time on a d—” 

Thankfully, he doesn’t even have time to finish the thought. Instead, there’s a sickening, fleshy thump as Jamie’s fist collides with his cheekbone. 

Hard.

Caught off guard, the man falls off his stool and lands on the floor with an even louder noise. As he does, his arms flail out and knock his glass off the table, and it lands beside him, crashing as it breaks apart upon impact. 

Immediately, the entire bar goes quiet as everyone turns to stare at what’s just happened. Owen is standing by the booth, mouth agape and wide-eyed as he looks between a seething Jamie, fist still cocked, and the man on the floor clutching his face.

Dani is clutching Jamie’s other arm, pulling at her and trying to let her mind catch up with the quickly-unfolding events that have just taken place. 

“You bitch!” the man yells. He turns to look at the shell-shocked audience around him. “She hit me! You crazy bitch!”

“You’re lucky that’s all I did you fucking dickhead!” Jamie shouts back. ���When a girl tells ya’ no thank you, keep your greasy fucking hands off her or I’ll—”

“Jamie,” Dani says softly, tugging at Jamie’s sleeve. “Come on. Let’s just—”

Jamie is wild-eyed when she turns to look at her, as unhinged as Dani’s ever seen her and she looks so angry and beautiful that it’s a wonder Dani keeps standing at all. “He fucking—” she begins, but Dani shakes her head.

“I know, I know.” She throws a look at Owen who is already making his way towards them. “We need to leave, okay? Please.”

It’s the final word, perhaps, that finally brings Jamie back into herself. Her expression softens and she lowers her fist, nodding and letting herself be pulled toward the exit before anyone wises up enough to call the police. As they go, whispered conversations start trickling through the crowd again, muffled shock cupped behind hands as the man begins to pull himself to his feet, deflated and looking very much like a child.

The front door squeaks loudly as they step out into the bitter, November air. It’s shockingly sobering, despite the fact that Dani hasn’t had a drop to drink all night. Her cheeks are flushed with the emotion of the last few minutes and she realizes that she’s trembling, even as she’s gripping Jamie’s wrist.

Fortunately, it seems to have the same effect on Jamie, who’s begun to calm herself down and breathe normally again. The normal sounds of the evening feel otherworldly now—the rush of cars and voices and regular life crashing down on each of them.

The door squeaks again and then Owen is there, coming towards them with a still-surprised gleam in his eye. But there’s something else there, too. Something that Dani thinks might be pride.

“What happened?” he asks, looking between them both.

“Bloody wanker grabbed Dani,” Jamie mutters and she’s inspecting her punching-fist now, eyebrows furrowed.

Owen’s eyebrows raise in even more surprise. “You okay, Dani?” he asks, turning his worry her way.

Dani nods. “I’m fine, I just—”

“Yep,” Jamie says. “It’s broken.”

“What?” Dani squeaks and Jamie looks up at her with a wry smile, clutching her hand to her chest.

“My knuckle. It’s broken.”

“Oh my god,” Dani breathes.

“It’s okay.”

“You broke your hand. How is that—”

“I’m fine. It’s not like I—”

“Jesus, Jamie, why did you have to—”

“What was I supposed to do, Dani?” Jamie asks. “Let him touch you like that when you were trying to get away from him? You looked so scared and he was just...I just...I’m sorry.”

Dani blinks. Tries not to cry. “You big, dumb hero,” she says softly and Jamie looks hurt for a moment until she realizes that Dani is smiling. “You broke your hand defending my honor.”

For a moment, she forgets that Owen is there at all. It’s just her and Jamie and Jamie’s battle wound, wrapped up in a bubble of their own design. Jamie smiles a little, clearly in pain as her adrenaline drains away.

“So out of character for me,” Jamie breathes, laughing a little. “I’m sorry that I—”

Dani cuts her off again, but differently now. Leaning in, she cups Jamie’s face and kisses her, hard and heart and i can’t believe you did that. Jamie lifts her good hand, resting it on Dani’s shoulder as she kisses her back. It lingers for a moment, just long enough for Dani to feel like the earth has stopped spinning beneath her feet. 

When she pulls away, Jamie breathes shakily against her lips, resting their foreheads together as they each try to settle down.

Owen clears his throat, bringing them back into the moment. “If you two are done, I really think we should get her to the hospital.”

Reality washes over Dani like an icy ocean wave. “Oh my god, Jamie, your hand.”

The last evening of Owen’s visit, they end the night in the emergency room; Owen buys them food from the vending machine, Jamie makes too many jokes about being temporarily handicapped (“Handicapped,” she says, smiling at herself. “Get it?”) and Dani holds her good hand, remembering all of those heroes she never wanted to be rescued by.

Jamie’s nothing like them. She isn’t a knight or a prince or anything like that. She’s the hard-headed, unbelievable, wonderful love of Dani’s life. And that’s better than any hero she could have ever wished for.

..

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hello, I hope I'm not bothering you, but do you have any good "enemies to lovers" recs, may they be books or movies?

I neeeever am bothered by people asking for recommendations.  Those are my favorite asks because I am nothing if not in love with my own opinions, lol

Books

Obviously, The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn, the best Bridgerton book, because I’ve been blogging about it lol.  If you haven’t read it, it’s basically “rake tries to seduce the beauty of the ton, beauty’s older sister cockblocks him, he realizes that He Is Into It” 

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne is a classic.  Very light and fluffy contemporary, two people who’ve always hated each other begin competing for the same job and fall in love.

Kate Quinn’s Mistress of Rome series is a saga and the initial big ship of the first book (which you do have to read lol) is not enemies to lovers.  However, the NEXT ship which dominates the last two books of the series (which is four books long, and tbh... I recommend the second book but it’s a prequel and can be skipped technically) is SOOOOOOO GOOD.  It’s really “childhood friends to young lovers to SEVERE ENEMIES still secretly in love” and it’s literally epic lol.  Essentially, the series is set in Ancient Rome and Sabina (very bitchy Roman noblewoman) and Vix (child of a former gladiator, soldier) are friends who I think lose their virginities to each other?  And are in love as kids.  But then she fucks him over and marries the emperor.  Who he actually begins to loyally serve!  But he haaaates Sabina because she.... constantly backstabs him lol.  But he also looooves Sabina and gets off on everything she does.  And she wants him so badly.  And it is delicious.  And I live for it.

Both of the Evie Dunmore books I’ve read, Bringing Down the Duke and especially A Rogue of One’s Own are very enemies to lovers.  In Bringing Down the Duke it’s a bluestocking versus a duke who for political reasons is her enemy.  In A Rogue of One’s Own it’s another bluestocking versus a rake who has known her basically all their lives.  They have to begin working together and fall in looove.

Sarah MacLean LIVES for this trope lol.  Her first true enemies to lovers was Twelve Scandals to Start to Win An Earl’s Heart, in which the heroine is a scandalous young woman and the hero is a duke determined to avoid scandal--and he rebuffed her before the book began, so they hate each other.  But he also has a massive boner around her, of course. 

My favorite MacLean book, A Rogue By Another Name is another “childhood friends turn enemies to lovers”.  The leads, Penelope and Bourne (last name lol) were best friends as kid and he basically fell off after life set in.  Her family now has hold of his ancestral lands, and Bourne essentially blackmails Penelope into marrying him so that he can get those lands, after which she DESPISES him even though they had..... extremely great sex lol.  It’s SUPER GOOD, and it involves borderline voyeurism, which is great.

Then No Good Duke Goes Unpunished is very enemies to lovers.  The heroine was set to become the hero’s stepmother--then he woke up covered in blood with her missing. He then finds out, after years of being despised by society as a presumed murderer, that she is very much alive with a fake identity lol.  It’s WILD.

The Rogue Not Taken is an enemies to lovers roadtrip romance.  The heroine thinks the hero is a horrid rake who purposefully ruins marriages.  He thinks she’s a stuck up brat.  They end up journeying together and he eats her out in a moving carriage.

Theeen there’s Daring and the Duke.  The hero literally thought the heroine was dead (MacLean loves this) and is OBSESSED with her, but she hates him because the man who raised them both basically pitted them against each other after their days of being childhood sweethearts.  It’s very dark and delicious, and there are blow jobs!  Blow jobs don’t happen enough in romances, especially historical romances.  More BJs!  They are fun!

If you’re interested in a dark and BONKERS romance, Desperate Measures by Katee Robert is a retelling of Disney’s Aladdin about a modern Jafar and Jasmine getting together after he takes over her father’s criminal empire.  It’s definitely extremely explicit and a bit fucked up.  The book comes with content warnings; the first sex scene is dubcon.  (Like you’re reading from her perspective and she WANTS IT but she says no.)

Beach Read by Emily Henry is a cute contemporary in which the hero is a literary author and the heroine is a romance novelist.  They find themselves in neighboring beach houses and basically challenge each other to write in the other person’s genre.  Very light enemies to lovers.

A Heart of Blood and Ashes is a fantasy romance by Milla Vane!  Essentially, the hero’s parents were killed by the heroine’s father and he’s out to kill her father and overtake his throne.  Luckily, she’s on board.  But he needs to marry her in order to accomplish his goals.  They do not trust each other whatsoever and torment one another a lot.  For context, within the first fifty pages she gives him a handjob while her hand is covered in her own brother’s blood (and yes, he did kill her brother).  It’s great.

The Worst Best Man is about a wedding planner who suddenly finds herself needing to work with her ex-fiance’s brother... who she holds responsible for her fiance leaving her at the altar.  Very fun and sexy contemporary.

The entire Four Horsemen series by Laura Thalassa.  In each book, the heroine falls in love with a literal embodiment of one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, who is here to bring the end of the world.  VERY heavy enemies to lovers.  Kinda dark at times?  Kinda fucked up at times?  I love it a lot?  It begins with Pestilence; War and Famine have already been released, but Death has not.

From Lukov with Love by Marina Zapata.  It’s a figure skating romance; a down on her luck skater pairs up with a male skater who is extremely successful, and who she’s known for years and hated.  Verrrrry slow burn, but fun.

Movies

The Proposal, of course, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.  You’ve probably seen this, but the setup is that she’s his evil boss, he’s her assistant, and she’s about to lose her visa so she bribes him into marrying her so that she can get citizenship.  But ruh-roh, they have to go to Alaska for his family reunion and he’s also got a great body and is like, an Alaskan Rockefeller?  

Obviously, Clueless which is enemies to lovers by way of former stepsiblings, and also by way of the only valid retelling of Emma.  Emma itself is not enemies to lovers, really, but Clueless amps that aspect up a bit.

If you want a super tragic version, warning lol--House of Flying Daggers.  It’s a wuxia movie, so melodramatic to the max.  She’s a blind daughter of the leader of a vigilante group, he’s a soldier who’s gone undercover to follow her to their stronghold.  Many reveals and one of my favorite dramatic love stories ensues.

Princess Diaries 2, duh.  Baby Chris Pine?  Anne Hathaway?  PLEASE BITCH.

365 DNI.  If you haven’t watched yet, watch it and thank me later.  The greatest cinematic contribution of the last decade.

Down with Love.  It’s a delightful take on like, 50s/60s sex comedies in which the heroine writes a book that convinces women to ignore love and men, which makes the hero look bad and makes it difficult for him to get laid.  So he sets out to basically.....  wear a different persona?  And seduce her?  It is one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen, and I adore it.  Renee Zellweger and Ewan Macgregor have great chemistry in it too.

The Thomas Crown Affair, starring extremely hot Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo.  She’s an insurance investigator, he’s a billionaire who basically is suspected of stealing priceless works of art because he’s bored.  She investigates him and immediately begins fucking him.  Has a scene where she dances with him while wearing a completely transparent dress.  Then they fuck everywhere in his house.  I have never wanted to be between two people more.

The Painted Veil.  A socialite marries a dorky scientist for convenience, then cheats on him.  He finds out and basically forces her to go to China with him, where he is fighting the cholera epidemic, as an extremely long and petty murder suicide attempt.  But they get to know each other!  And the ice begins to melt!  Warning: tragic but lovely.

Casino Royale YES I SAID THAT.  The James Bond reboot movie that explains why he’s such a whore!!!  HE WAS BROKEN!!!  Basically James Bond is not like... a learned man... in this movie.  So he’s a cocky bastard and the Bond girl is impossibly sexy Eva Green as Vesper, who’s the “money man” on his mission.  They begin as bickering assholes and then fall in love.  But also!  Tragedy!

The animated Anastasia movie is one of the finest enemies to lovers movies of any time, I will defend this forever

Anyway....  Hope this gives you some ideas!  Lol

[walkwithheroes84]

Reading Romance

Updated June 28th, 2021

I read a lot of different types of books, but I’ve never been a romance person. After watching Bridgeton, I decided to give them a try. Here are my thoughts. 

Follow me on this journey. 

What I’ve Liked:

- They are really quick to get through. I’ve read some 350 page books in a day. 

- The plots can be crazy, which is also really fun. 

- A lot of the characters are fun and the dialogue can be witty. 

What I’ve Not Liked:

- I have an issue with a lot of the romances, as the men seem to sometimes force the women into uncomfortable situations. 

Now, let’s talk about what I’ve read:

Bridgerton: The Duke and I by Julia Quinn:  

- 2 out of 5 stars.

- I found this couple boring. 

- She raped her husband, so no. He shouldn’t have lied, but that’s not an excuse to rape.

Bridgerton: It’s in His Kiss by Julia Quinn:

- 4 out of 5 stars.

- I loved the couple. There was some problems with the male lead deciding to sleep with the female lead, so she’d have to marry him, as he is not his father’s true son. But I still liked their witty dialogue and the female lead was fun.

Bridgerton: When He Was Wicked by Julia Quinn: 

-2 out of 5 stars

- It’s one of everyone’s favorite books in the series, but I found this couple to be so boring. I feel like she would have been just as happy with her first husband and for the life of me, I don’t get why the guy was so into her. She was boring.

Bridgerton: An Offer From A Gentleman by Julia Quinn:

- 4 out of 5 stars. 

- This book had insane energy. It was silly and fun. The man lead jumps out of a window, scales down a tree, and rushes to a cold lake because the female lead got him aroused and he was like: “Um, not now.” 

- I didn’t like that  Benedict was so dumb not to see that Sophie was the girl he had met three years earlier and I HATED that he kept telling her to be his mistress, even after she told him that wasn’t what she wanted for herself. 

- Though the end in the jail was pure insanity and I was here for it.

First Comes Scandal by Julia Quinn:

- 2 out of 5 stars.

- While dialogue was witty and the couple was cute, I felt this one dragged on for way too long. I thought it could have been at least 100 pages shorter. 

Love is Blind by Lynsay Sands:

-2 out of 5 stars.

- The plot and characters were just too simple. 

The Lost Duke of Wyndham (Two Dukes of Wyndham #1) by Julia Quinn:

-4 out of 5 stars.

- I clearly have a type with couples in Julia Quinn books: they need to be fun, bicker, and have a lot of chemistry. I LOVED Jack and Grace. I loved the charm, wit, and fun of this couple.

A Hunger Like No Other (Immortals After Dark #2) by Kresley Cole

- 2 out of 5 stars

-So...while I like the idea of the world and the overall story that seems to be forming - I COULD NOT get behind the male lead basically raping the female lead throughout the book. Mostly because he hated that she is a vampire (she's actually half) and once he learns she's not a full vampire, he's just like - "My bad. Love you." And she's cool with it?! - Also, what is going on with all the erection? Because the way I read it, this man was walking around with one for 90% of the novel. I don't know, that just strikes me as very uncomfortable and slightly embarrassing..? I don't know, I'm not a man.

No Rest For The Wicked (Immortals After Dark #3) by Kresley Cole

- 3 out of 5 stars

-Kaderin is cursed or blessed with being an emotionless killing machine. Until she meets Sebastian, a vampire who hates what he is. Confused, she runs and he follows. Kaderin spends most of the novel being a bad ass bitch and Sebastian spends most of the novel discovering that he likes the way she is. 

-He decides to help her and that he wants her to achieve her dream, even if it means not getting her.

-It was a fun and fast read and I ALMOST forgive Cole for the grossness of her last novel. 

Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night (Immortals After Dark #4) by Kresley Cole

-3 out of 5 stars

- I liked this one more that A Hunger Like No Other. Maybe because Mari was a little bit tougher and stronger than Emma. Or maybe because  Bowen seemed to have a better understand of boundaries. 

- They were a sweet and fun couple, who didn’t really shy away from their challenges. They actually discussed issues! 

- But, I have to take away a half point, because again with the whole werewolf NEEDING to claim his mate thing. With all the erections and sex every which way. It was about much for me, especially as a new romance reader. At times, I found myself thinking: “Please calm down.”

-Another thing I enjoyed was the discussions about “monsters” being people and wanting things “normal” people want. 

-But, I have to add this, and it’s really more about the series as a whole: each book is about 350-360 pages and there is a looming evil throughout, but it’s not truly faced until the last 50 pages are so. I’d like this world - which is being set up to be very interesting - to be fleshed out more.

Dark Needs at Night’s Edge (Immortals After Dark #5) by Kresley Cole

- 3.5 stars out of 5

-  I've now read 4 of them and have had ALOT of mixed feelings about this series. - We start with the hero, Conard: a vampire who hunts his own kind. When he drains people, he takes their memories - which has made him a bit. . .unstable. Interesting (as several have said) every male character within the story (some of whom have REALLY mistreated their wives at different times) discuss how Conard is dangerous and should be "put of his misery" and yet - he treats Néomi very well. He doesn't mistreat her and honestly tries to help her - even if it means they may not be together. - A vampire bounty hunter and a ballerina ghost somehow make a very sweet, angsty, and awesome little romance. It felt free of that "fated mate" stuff from the other novels. Yes, Conard believes that Néomi is his fated mate, but she's also dead. So, there is none of that "have to half you/will stalk you/alpha man" stuff that gets a bit old in the other novels of the series. I really enjoyed the fact that the couple didn't actually sleep together until page 200ish (out of 369). Which was actually nice, because it made me believe that they were a couple who had depth and actually loved each other because of more than being "fated mates". (Not knocking the other couples in the series, but I do sometimes feel that they actually fall for each other only toward the end of their novel.) -So over all, I liked this one. My favorite so far.

Dark Desires After Dusk (Immortals After Dark #5) by Kresley Cole

-3 out of 5 stars. 

- I liked the main couple just fine - both as a couple and as individuals. 

- But, I’m reading these books one after the other - usually one or even two a day - and the formula used for each book is becoming very clear: Male lead finds his fated soul mate and either denies it or goes after her. Female lead is uninterested, but can’t help be drawn to this new guy. The fight or have misunderstandings. They have sex - it’s usual oral. They have more miscommunication. The “big bad” - whose been mention throughout the novel- appears in the last 50-or-so pages. The couple defeat the “big bad”. They get married. It’s getting a bit old - even if I like the characters.

The Viscount Who Loved Me (Bridgertons #2) by Julia Quinn

-4 out of 5 stars.

- Loved the couple and their humor. A fun and quick read. I think I read it in 3 hours?

Kiss of a Demon King (Immortals After Dark #6) by Kresley Cole

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While I liked the leads as individuals, I found their relationship to be a bit too toxic for my tastes. 

Never Seduce a Scot by Maya Banks

-3 out of 5 stars

-A light and fluffy read. Our ML was respectful and our FL was sweet. Just a cute morning read. Nothing overly special, but honestly far sweeter than a lot of the romances I’ve read in the last month and a half. I may forget it in a month, but I enjoyed it while I read it. 

Untouchable (Immortals After Dark #7) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

-A very interesting read. Who knew you could be creative with ice? I have to admit, I really enjoy the Wroth brothers and their ladies. These men have respect and, unlike some other MLs in this series, they seem to be more willing to let their Brides take the lead. 

Demon from the Dark (Immortals After Dark #9) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

-This book just worked for me. Carrow was an amazing heroine and  Malcom was a sweetheart. Add in little Ruby and you have one amazing family.

Dreams of a Dark Warrior (Immortals After Dark #10) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

- Regin the Radiant is doomed to relieve her tragic love affair with the berserker Aidan the Fierce. They will meet, fall in love, she will kiss him, and he will die within 24 hours. So far, they have relived this tragic fate 4 times, and this time Regin is determined to NOT let that happen. The problem? Nix gets involved and Regin is captured by The Order - a group of humans bent on killing all Lore creatures. And one of their leaders just so happens to be Declan Chase aka Aidan.

- I loved a lot about this book, such as the way all the stories are really starting to come together and blend into one another. I also loved Regin here - she doesn't break or bend and she understands that Declan isn't a woobie in need of saving (like so many of the other women in this series) - she  knows that he has been through something terrible, but she doesn't excuse his actions.  It isn't until Declan shows he's trying to change that Regin accepts him.

- A really fun read and maybe my second or third favorite in the series.

Lothaire (Immortals After Dark #11) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

- I have very mixed feelings on this book.

- I loved Ellie - she was intelligent, forward thinking, and strong. She planned her death, twice. She understood Lothaire would come for her and made sure her family was hidden. She decided to seduce a ages old vampire in order to save herself. She often played him like a fiddle. 

-But, Lothaire was a complete jerk for 85% of the novel. I get it, he's damaged and he's old and mentally unstable, blah blah blah. To be honest, he didn't make up for his misdeeds - even if he did promise to take Ellie's kid brother Trick-or-Treating. (That was weird, too. Don't make a villain/anti-hero a sudden sugary sweet brother-in-law.) 

-And, how could he not see that Ellie was his Bride?! He was physically and mentally attracted to her. With the other one, they didn't seem to have anything in common, expect: we like killing.

-So while I adored the female lead and I liked certain scenes, the book felt off to me.

MacRieve (Immortals After Dark #13) by Kresley Cole

-3.5 out of 4 stars

-While I liked some aspects of the book, MacRieve was so horrible to Chloe. I understand he has past trauma and is in major need of therapy. (Like most of the men in this series.) But, he treats Chloe horribly and while Chloe has a bit of spunkiness, she is also just way too forgiving and nice.

-I also have to take away from  half a point because it ends on a cliffhanger that may never be resolved!

A Rogue By Any Other Name (The Rules of Scoundrels #1) by Sarah MacLean 

- 4 out of 5 stars.

-This is apparently a  Hades and Persephone retelling? I can see that. 

- I really enjoyed  Penelope, who really just wanted a nice life, but that wasn’t to be. She just had a little too much “darkness” in her and she wouldn’t be happy with anyone but Bourne. Bourne could be a jerk, but his feelings for Penelope was great. 

- The side characters who will be getting their own novels? Very excited to see them. I think this was my first Sarah MacLean and it was one I really enjoyed. 

Ghost (Boston Underworld #3) by A. Zavarelli

- 3 out of 5 stars.

- I read these out of order, so there were people in this that I want to learn more about. 

- This was my first mafia romance and, I believe, was my darkest book yet. 

-Talia and Alexei were two very damaged people, who were still damaged together. They didn’t magically become well because of their feelings for one another. They may have healed a bit, but they were still working toward betterment at the end of the novel, and I like the realism of that. 

- I read this novel in two days, and despite the darkness of the novel, I really enjoyed it. The writing style was enjoyable and I like the way characters from several different novels came into and out of the story. It’s very clear that A. Zavarelli is working on her own little universe, and I always like when authors do that. 

Filthy Rich (Five Points' Mob Collection #2) by Serena Akeroyd

- 4 out of 5 stars. 

- Again, read this in a couple of days. 

- And again, I really enjoyed that Serena Akeroyd is making her own little universe and dropping hints about future stories. 

-Inessa was an interesting character, because while sheltered and innocent, the girl was just waiting to let her inner “darker” sexuality out. I liked her a lot - she could be very innocent and sweet, but also very catty and straight forward. 

- Eoghan and Inessa, despite of the large age gap, fit one another so well. They were one another’s missing pieces and they just really fit together. 

The Sweetest Oblivion (Made #1) by Danielle Lori

-4 out of 5 stars.

-The chemistry between Elena and Nico was really great. 

-I enjoyed Elena’s POV - she was attracted to Nico, but she also hated herself a bit for it. Not just because he was supposed to marry her sister (don’t worry, sister is in love with someone else), but also because of her own past. 

- Nico was a little harder to read, because we didn’t get as much of his POV.

- Knowing that this is yet another mob series that follows several characters - who are slowly introduced in each book - makes me really excited to meet and read about more characters. 

Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #1) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars.

-Aria may be too good and too pure for this world. Luca’s love for her was very sweet. Aria x Luca fan.

- Enjoyable and fast pace. 

-I enjoyed the way characters from future novels in the series appeared/made cameos throughout the novel. 

-The main couple had a bit too much miscommunication, but they were young and dumb, so I forgive it.

Bound By Duty (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #2) by Cora Reilly

-3.5 out of 5 stars.

-I loved Val. Especially at the start of the novel when her main problem was: “I’m over 20. This is my second marriage. I’m still a virgin. I’ll be damned if I don’t have sex.”

-Dante on the other hand - he took the “Ice King” trope a bit too far. Did he truly love Valentina or was it more about protecting his children and being fond of Val? I’m sorry to sad I didn’t feel like he loved Val as much (or even in the same way) as he loved his first wife. 

Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #3) by Cora Reilly

-3 out of 5 stars (maybe closer to a 2.5/2.8)

- I know that Matteo and Gianna are a lot of people’s favorites, but their bickering and Slap-Kiss dynamic got a bit old. I also found Gianna really annoying in Bound by Honor, and that didn’t change here.

Bound by Temptation (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #4) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars

- Maybe the most romantic couple? I mean, if a man is willing to start a mob war for you...come on.

Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #5) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars.

- Maybe Growl/Ryan and Cara are a little unbalance and maybe their relationship is dark and twisted, but it works. Again, get yourself a man who is willing to start a mob war for you. 

Twisted Loyalties (The Camorra Chronicles #1) by Cora Reilly

-3 out of 5 stars. 

- Like Bound by Vengeance, Twisted Loyalties was a way of tying the two series together. But, I didn’t like this one all that much -

- Fabiano’s obsession with Leona (and it felt like an obsession) actually made me fear for her. Leona was “pure” and safe and reminded him of his sisters with her loyalty toward her mother. So, of course Fabiano would want to be with her. But, it was clear Leona wanted a different path for her life - especially at the start of the book. 

-I’m not convinced of Fabiano’s development in this book. He still felt emotionless at the end, and I’m not sure if his love for Leona was actually love or an obsession and a need to have someone like his sisters in his life. 

- Leona's innocence and naivety were fine, but she annoyed me at times. She wanted to run and I kind of wish she had made it out of Vegas. Maybe then I’d see the so-called love Fabiano had for her. 

- I have to mention the Falcone brothers. We have been hearing so much about how terrible their family is. Here we saw them from Leona and Fabiano’s POVs, and they were just as crazy as promised. Nino, no emotions? Interesting. Remo, a true psychotic. Savio, he’s a child, so his “adult” situations made me uncomfortable. Protect Adamo!

Twisted Emotions (The Camorra Chronicles, #2) by Cora Reilly

-4.5 out of 5 stars

- Nino and Kiara were really cute. Maybe the sweetest couple I’ve read by Cora Reilly. I didn’t care for his cheating, though I get why he did it. I just didn’t like it/find it was needed. And, I wanted/needed more chapters from his POV, because it felt like Nino fell in love too quickly. I want to read their next book.

-Nino is supposed to be "emotionless”, having “turned off” his emotions due to childhood trauma. (This was told to me 1000x in the novel, btw). BUT he tries so hard to be sweet and considerate of Kiara. He buys her a piano! He understands her past trauma and tries (in his own way) of being respectful and protective toward her - even standing up to Remo! He follows Kiara’s lead and it’s actually very sweet.

-Kiara is one of the strongest female leads in this series. Yes, she was scared of men - especially Remo - but that is understandable considering what she lived through. She needed to be protected and I liked that she was able to heal, but she wasn’t completely healed in the end - she still had a ways to go. And, her friendship with Adamo was the cutest thing. They were so sweet with one another! And honestly, despite his ‘I don’t like you or what you’ve done to Nino’ attitude - Remo and Kiara are headed toward brother/sister territory. 

Twisted Pride (The Camorra Chronicles, #3) by Cora Reilly

-4 out of 5 stars

-So...Remo is in major need of intense therapy. Like, years of intense therapy and I’m not 100% convinced that Serafina didn’t suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. But, as Serafina muses - she and Remo have a twisted love for one another. It’s clearly not 100% healthy, but it works for them. Serafina is allowed to be herself with him and Remo pulls back (a bit) from his destructive behaviors with her. 

-Remo...who knew he could be such a family man? Like, you could tell, when he started to fall for Serafina. He slowly started to try and be a bit of a better person. That scene where they got married? And it was just his brothers, Kiara, Fabiano, and the babies - and Remo said it was fine, because it was just the people that matter? Sweet. 

-Serafina stood up for herself and didn’t let Remo phase her (well, not as much as he wanted to) and I loved that. She was strong, self-assured, and she wanted more out of life than what the Outfit was willing to give her. 

-Speaking of the Outfit - um, why did they not believe Serafina when she stated - several times - that what they think happened with Remo wasn’t actually what happened? Why did her father and brother treat two BABIES like trash? And they tortured Adamo - a fifteen year old child!

Twisted Bonds (The Camorra Chronicles, #4) by Cora Reilly

-4 out of 5 stars

- I was disappointed to see that 60% of this novel was just Twisted Pride from Nino and Kiara’s POV.

- I feel like this one was not as well written as the past novels in the series. I saw a lot of typos and things didn’t always flow well. That said - I really do love Nino and Kiara. 

Twisted Hearts (The Camorra Chronicles #5) by Cora Reilly

-2 out of 5 stars

-So, Savio loses all his character development in this novel and Gemma deserves better. 

Devil in Winter (Wallflowers #3) by Lisa Kleypas

- 4 out of 5 stars

- I loved Evie and  Sebastian. I am reading this out of order, so while I knew  Sebastian was the villain of the last book - he was so perfect with Evie here. Is it cliche that the “bad boy” has spent his whole life waiting for the sweet and strong girl - yes. But, did I love it? Also yes.

The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever (Bevelstoke #1) by Julia Quinn

-4 out of 5 stars

- Very sweet and fun friends to lovers romance. 

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover (The Rules of Scoundrels #2) by Sarah MacLean

- 4 out of 5 stars

-I know people had issues with Pippa, but I sort of always assummed she was on the spectrim. Cross was really fun - especially when he became so annoyed with Pippa, because she was different and just lived her life. 

To Seduce a Sinner (Legend of the Four Soldiers #2) by Elizabeth Hoyt

-2.5 out of 5 stars

-While I enjoyed the writing style, I couldn’t totally love the couple. Japer falls for Melisande, because she’s proper and “not like other girls” or something.Melisande has loved Jasper for 6+ years, but refuses to admit it - even after she marries him and it’s clear he wants a real marriage. Eh.  

-I’ll read more from the author, but I didn’t enjoy this one. 

The King's Spinster Bride (Aspect and Anchor #0.5) by Ruby Dixon

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While the world building was well done, there weren’t any issues between the couple.  He really loved her- he worked his way up to becoming First Warrior for her.  She loved him, but was nervous because she was “old”. (She’a 33 and he’s 24). There was also some worry about marriage stuff, but over all, it was just a little read that was neither terrible nor memorable. 

Neon Gods (Dark Olympus #1) by Katee Robert

-3 out of 5 stars

-While I enjoyed the main characters, the world building was poorly done. i did like a lot of the supporting characters and hope they get their own books. 

Brutal Prince (Brutal Birthright #1) by Sophie Lark

-2 out of 5 stars (DNF’ed at 40%)

-People have been telling me to read Sophie Lark since March, so I picked this up on audio book. The writing is fairly good (though there are some issues with the mafia aspects), but it was the characters that made me DNF this novel.

-First: you have Aida’s family (she’s 20 and her brothers are all older (I think?) and they all decide to crash the party of a family they hate. Why? They are grown people! Aida causes a fire in the house and steals a pocket watch. And...the two families decide they should get married. Again, why...? Just pay for the damage. Since one of the sons was injured: agree to something for that. 

-Second: Aida is 20. She’s also VERY immature. She plays tricks on Callum. (She actually eats a strawberry before kissing him - he’s very allegic to them). She curses and talks about how she’s a “tomboy” and how she hates the family she marries into. She’s a fairly horrible, immature, and bratty young womn. I just couldn’t root for her.

-Third: Callum is 30. He’s 30 and acts like a horny teenager. I listen to the male narrtator discuss sex and p*s*y over and over again. While Aida is verbally and physically harmful toward Callum, Callum is physically and emotionally abusive toward Aida. 

-Fourth: Two toxic, immature people do not a rootable couple make. I couldn’t stand these two people and was annoyed the whole time I listened to the audio. 

-Fifth: I think I would like to read more from the auhor,but this novel REALLY wasn’t for me. 

Bad Guy by Ruby Dixon

-1 out of 5 stars

-This should have been half its size. There was noreal development between characters. Eh.

The Bully (Kingmakers #3) by Sophie Lark

- 4 out of 5 stars

-I read this one first, because so many people said it was the best of the series. I hadn’t like Brutal Prince at all, but I loved this one. 

-Seeing the development of Dean and Cat was fun. Was Dean actually really childish for a 20+ (I’m guessing he’s 20-21), but I got it. 

-Cat was great. I understand a lot of people found her “boring” in book 2, but it’s very clear that she was just waiting for someone or something to let her out of her shell. 

-I’m really looking forward to book 4, as that was set up nicely. 

Stolen Heir (Brutal Birthright #2) by Sophie Lark

-3 out of 5 stars

-While I liked Nessa a lot - I wasn’t totally sold on the romance.

Deviant King (Royal Elite #1) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars.

-While I find Aiden toxic, I cannot deny the chemistry between Aiden and Elsa. I don’t like that she gave in to him so quickly - especially as he had made her life horrible for the last three years - but I can forgive it, as this is a “bully” romance. 

-The mystery is interesting, as are the hints of future stories with other characters. 

-And, where are the adults!?

Steel Princess (Royal Elite #2) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars

-Now that Aiden has a POV, we can see that he is connected to Elsa’s past. I like that aspect, as well as Aiden trying to win Elsa over.

-And her dead dad is alive?!

-Also, I love Knox.

Twisted Kingdom (Royal Elite #3) by Rina Kent

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While I enjoyed the way the mystery was wrapped up, I’m not totally in love with it. It closed what happenedto both Aiden and Elsa, but it left a few doors opened and really doesn’t paint their fathers in the best lights. 

Black Knight (Royal Elite #4) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars.

-Getting into Kim’s head (and seeing the emotional and mental abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother) made me so sad. 

- What was worse is that she was basically abandoned for EIGHT years and bullied by said ex-friends during that time because of a misunderstanding. Yes, they were eleven, but why couldn’t Xander have confronted his dad or Kim’s dad or someone during that time? Why did he have to be horrible to her at every turn? And let others do the same? And, why was he still hanging out with Kir -? I understand that he was looking out for Kim and Kir and that he still loved her (and that this is geared more toward readers in their late teens/early 20s), but - come on!

-Kim forgave Xander way too easily (a trend in this series), and I was a bit uncomfortable with the fact that right after the big secret was out, Xander decided that he wasn’t “holding back” anymore and that he would be with Kim. Like - shouldn’t you go to therapy? 

-I liked the characters and some of their interactions (and those building hints for the rest of the series), but I ended the book truly believing all these characters need massive amounts of therapy. 

Vicious Prince (Royal Elite #5) by Rina Kent

-2 out of 5 stars.

-Gone is the carefree Ronan of past stories. Here is the “fake smile” Ronan that has carefully been hidden for the last ten years.

-Teal’s master plan of revenge is what drives her, but only for about 20% of the novel. What was interesting was what we were told: she likes men at least 15 years older than her and she enjoys (or believes she would enjoy) some very kinky stuff. 

-(Side note: I’m sorry, but - the 17/18 year olds have access to the records of their parents’ sex club? Where are the adults? Yes, it’s explained that the club only takes members who are 18+, but no.)

-Despite protests that he hates her, Ronan falls for Teal, like 20% into the book? And after having sex once - she loves him back? I know this is a series LIGHT on character development, but...what? Yesterday I could barely stand you and today I want us to be together for ever? 

-And, we get another childhood tramua story, which played out WAY too fast and was wrapped up WAY to easily. 

-I liked Ronan during the other books and Teal could have been really complex, but we got what we got.

[gldngrl7]

Bridgerton - My Take

Words cannot express what it’s like to wait 20 years for to see something you never actually thought would get made and then have it turn out as wonderfully as it did. This is not spoiler free and these thoughts are just going to spill out as they come to me:

Casting is spot on. So happy! I did not find a single character disappointing, and when a character didn’t match my mental image from the book I usually like the show character better.

Costumes are amazing!

Francesca is STILL the forgotten Bridgerton! Where is Francesca??? Also apparently forgotten? Felicity Featherington, the youngest daughter of the Featherington clan. Maybe they’re keeping her locked in the nursery because she must be even younger than Hyacinth.

I hadn’t remembered Marina from TSPWL so having her marry Phillip was a twist I didn’t see coming. I hadn’t made the mental connection with her paramour, sir George, having the same surname. But as she drove away with him there was that dreadful feeling of knowing how that was all going to turn out, which made the trek at that much better.

My problem with the Marina/Phillip twist is that she was supposed to be a Bridgerton cousin and NOT a Featherington cousin. So, when she dies, Eloise is compelled to write her condolences to Phillip which sparks their correspondence. With the changes, I can’t see what impetus they’ll use to start their relationship. Eloise should feel no sadness at her loss since (a) theyre not related, (b) she never really befriended Marina and (c) Marina freaking tried to trap her brother into a deceptive marriage. I hope this isn’t a cross-that-bridge-when-we-get-to-it writer’s moment.

Why do the bullets get farther and farther apart every time I hit return?

Okay that’s better

Even I was surprised at the graphic level of sex. And I’ve watched Spartacus! 😂 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 and bravo for not making it all about tits and bush.

I didn’t have a problem with Anthony’s overprotectiveness, tbh. And didn’t see it as OOC. Since his father’s death he’s been the defacto father figure (he’s the only dad Hyacinth has ever known) but I think they wanted to demonstrate that he’s (a) taking his responsibility seriously but that (b) he’s way out of his depth and doesn’t actually know what he’s doing. Also there’s the irony that he will have to face off with Kate next season, who takes her responsibility of protecting her sister, Edwina, with all the same gusto — especially from him. So he’ll get to be on the other side of it. That tickled me a bit.

I tried to find the balance between empathizing with Siena while also not investing emotionally in that relationship. What an untenable position to be a woman without status amongst powerful men. How terrifying to have such an uncertain future. Even a society spinster would likely live to serve as a conpanion or chaperone to a richer relative and thus be taken care of — but an opera singer who’s value diminishes with each passing year...I can’t imagine.

Not a fan of how they demonized Nigel Berbrooke. They took a hapless, socially challenged but otherwise honorable man and turned him into a villain. Because he wasn’t written as a romantic hero perse, I never wanted him to end up with the heroine, but I was satisfied when I read that he eventually did find his match in the books. I never had anything against him.

Prince Freiderich should get his own season. Or book. Hate to see a handsome, gentle and kind man go to waste like that. Especially one that actually WANTS to marry and have kids.

Cressida Cowper, you twat. 🤣🤣 even regency period had their mean girls.

Phoebe Dyneover reminds me so much of Claire Foy in the first season of the Crown. Very similar speech patterns.

I’m not down for flipping the sexualities of any of the canon characters. But I am down with Ally-Benedict who learns to accept and empathize with his queer friends and even takes personal risks to help cover for them when necessary.

I loved that Colin asks Penelope to dance and NOT because Violet always forced him to, like she does in the first few books.

I would love for Sophie to be Asian/Indo-Pak. Casting director take note.

I almost wish they hadn’t named the show Bridgerton. Bridgerton of course has the name recognition all book fans clamor for, but if this show were to magically go on (and on) it leaves out the possibility of “How to Marry a Marquis” or “What Happens in London Stays in London”, etc... I want ALL the Julia Quinn. What’s so bad about that?

I kept my expectations low, tbh and tried to keep in mind that translating from page to screen often requires some finessing, so I’m not going to bitch about every little plot change they made to tell their story. I feel blessed that I got to see these characters brought to life.

Now for some likely unpopular opinions:

Here’s a fact: for better or for worse these books were not written for an lgbtq target audience. They just weren’t. So don’t expect more than the passing nod to the existence of gays or trans people living lives of quiet desperation in the ranks of regency society. Don’t expect them to turn Eloise and Penelope into secret lovers. They won’t. Because the people who have been steady fans, who have purchased these books every time a new cover comes out with their hard earned money, will not stand for their beloved characters suddenly diverging so far from canon. I think some divergence from canon is allowable but changing the core of the character and their romance story will likely not go well. Don’t suddenly expect Benedict to burst out of the closet just because he joins an artist colony.

Honestly, I can’t be bothered to get incensed by Daphne getting Simon to come inside of her. I just can’t. I’ll save my moral outrage for the idea that she was legally his property. That a husband could beat his wife with a cane and she would have no legal leg to stand on. That women were so uneducated about sex that men could so easily manipulate women to get what they want. That a man could toss his wife down a flight of stairs, call it an accident, be married again in a few months and the only consequence he’d face would be the whispers and side eyes from society. And, most of all, that in society’s eyes a woman’s only value was in her ability to conceive and bear children, and not even in whether or not she might live long enough to raise them!! So the fact that he couldn’t control his ejaculation long enough to throw off a woman he outweighed by easily fifty pounds...? Boo-fucking-hoo on your male privilege and vastly unbalanced power dynamic. Sorry, not sorry. She did what she thought she had to do to be of value in the society that raised her. She didn’t make the rules, she was just living by them. I’m not interested in a debate on this point. It’s my opinion and you’re entitled to keep your own - on your own blog.

How long do we have to wait to hear if we get a season 2?

[crystalelemental]

Oh man.  GamePress apparently updated the offensive tier list to be AR exclusive, and boy have there been some changes.  You know I have opinions on this one.

Okay let’s start with the obvious part: how in the hell is any Legendary hero considered above Tier 2?  Like, are we not factoring in score?  Or are we only accounting for if they score well?  Because realistically, half the time, a legendary hero is an active detriment to the scoring.  Also it turns out this isn’t just offense, but both offense AND defense, since Mirabilis is Tier 1.  So that’s gonna be...honestly, a bit confusing.  I’m sure some people can tell which is which, but I’m willing to bet others aren’t clear.

Let’s start with the biggest changes at the top.  Eliwood and Brave Roy are now Tier 1, likely because Galeforce.  Nothing else is different that I can tell.  Maybe some demotion?  But nothing substantial.  Lysithea is finally recognized as Tier 1, and I’m certain it’s because of her power on AR-D.  Girl is obscene.  Otherwise, Fallen Julia is the only other T1 Red Mage, and damn good on her.  Idunn demoted, but honestly, fair.  AR is not for her.  Armor units are not hard to handle, and are pretty bad on offense.  Especially with Thrasir existing, armor dragons just have a rough go.  Spring Idunn and Tibarn alone are T1.  What I do find interesting is that Dancer Micaiah didn’t maintain.  I guess the Hardy Bearing effect isn’t as impressive anymore.  Also Karla stayed T2, that’s...astonishing, actually.  Duo Byleth is also T2, which kinda makes sense.  Defense can’t make use of her Duo skill, and her bulk is pathetic, so any typical ranged defense unit can handle her.  On offense, it’s going to be tough.  Desperation effect is good, but conditional on having a fast team, not to mention Galeforce sets can require the foe to retaliate, like with Eliwood/Brave Roy.  So I can’t say I’m surprised she’s not on top.

Lance seems to just be B!Lucina, Duo Ephraim, and Trio Palla.  Which is fair.  Blue mages, though?  Damn is this crowded.  L!Azura and Peony, because obscene dancers.  Ophelia, because bitch.  Duo Alphonse, because immortality.  Brunnya, because honestly Fimbulvetr is perfect for this game mode, and she’s got the infantry status and abilities to do whatever she wants.  And L!Julia.  I’m willing to bet she’s more AR-D focused.  Rafiel and L!Chrom are also T1, of course.  I think what really surprises me is that Reinhardt is T2.  Is anyone else surprised about this?  I guess he’s not the most threatening thing in the world anymore, but still.  Actually wait, what’s REALLY neat is that Naga is T3.  So clearly scoring considerations are not paramount.

Axes have V!Duo Alm, Annette, L!Edelgard, and B!Ike.  Because of course.  All of them are ridiculous.  Mages have L!Celica, Thrasir, and Fallen Lyon, with beasts/dragons having Reyson.  Which, again, makes sense.  I’m glad Surtr demoted to T2.  I really don’t think of him as the most threatening aspect of AR anymore, even on dedicated stall, so this feels overdue.  Yune’s also T2, which..okay, fair.  While I think she’s great, she’s a ranged flying unit who plays defense, and her debuff game is crippled severely by Eir’s bonuses.  It’s super weird that F!Kana demoted, though.  She was T1 before, and that was entirely based on AR potential, so...okay.  Guess the meta has shifted hard enough against her.  Also, big shoutouts to Julia for maintaining T2 status.  That’s my girl.

Bows have L!Alm, L!Leif, V!Faye, and Duo Marth.  I can’t speak for Duo Marth, I don’t have him, but I feel like the fact I’ve never faced one means he’s at least not good on AR-D.  I can vouch for V!Faye, though, holy shit.  In fact can we establish Tier 0 for the primordial beings that break the world over their knees?  Anyway, Bernadetta and B!Lyn are T2, and I’m betting that’s for hit-and-run offense teams.  Also Norne’s T2 now, which is super correct.  I’ve felt this for a while, and the forum backs me up pretty hard on it: Norne’s the best common archer by a mile.  But of course, you all know what I’m going to say.  There is no way Faye is T3.  I have played her ranged defense game long enough to know that she is really strong at it.  While some threats like Lysithea can blow past her, and Thrasir isn’t always one-shot with my current supports, she is very capable of performing better than T3.  Also, poor Clarisse.  Finally gets a kickass refine that’s just not particularly great for AR, and instead of climbing the ranks of the offensive tier list, they change the conditions on her.  Girl can’t catch a break.

Dagger/Mage combos have, of course, Bramimond, Leila, Eir, and Duo Micaiah.  Absolutely no surprises here.  What is surprising, maybe just to me, is that Winter Cecilia is down to T3.  She was considered T2 for a long while, and I’d guessed that was based on AR potential.  I guess Duo Micaiah is causing substantial problems for armors across the board?  But man, Larum is T2.  LARUM.  Larum sucks, what could she possibly be doing that’s useful?

Dragons/Beasts have Fallen Female Corrin, Leanne, Mila, and Velouria.  I love everything about this.  Leanne makes sense for Defense teams, Velouria is a great Galeforcer, Mila is probably the best Light mythic for supertank strategies, and Fallen Female Corrin makes me happy because Fallen Male Corrin is only T2.  Get fucked, loser.  Your higher BST does nothing for your shit ass.  I do think there’s an argument for Caineghis in T1 for an offensive supertank, but honestly, he struggles.  To a degree I’d say he’s worse than Faye.  We don’t have any beast Mythics, and the only offensive dragon is Mila.  His DC is conditional on transforming, and he’s an armor unit.  He can’t run Null C-Disrupt, or Null Follow-Up like she can, so there are defense teams that can beat him by exploiting this.  I feel like Faye’s a lot better, but hey, what do I know.

And finally, staves.  Bridal Fjorm is the only one in T1.  Brave Veronica actually dropped, which is funny because she was T1 before solely on AR.  She doesn’t place in Arena.  I guess the meta has shifted away from Brave Veronica lately.  I haven’t been scared of one in a long time.  And hey, Maribelle is T2 as well, and Forrest got pushed up to T3!  Unfortunately, Brave Camilla was reduced to T3, so she’s still below B!Veronica.  Which in this game mode I guess is fair.

Now for the opposite end of the spectrum.  There are now 6 tiers, which I like.  I feel the subdivisions are appropriate, we have enough units that categorization was tough.  T4 for lances and swords was like 60 units before, I’m glad it got cleaned up a bit.  For red stuff, Alfonse remains at the bottom, but is no longer alone.  NY!Camilla, Chrom, V!Conrad, Beach Fiora, Hinata, and NY!Hrid are also down there.  Haha, Hrid, get fucked you loser.  That’s for January 2019, you fuck.  Mages here include Canas, Julius (ouch), Leo, Beach Leo, Raigh, and Beach Lorenz.  No surprises.  There are no dragons, daggers, or bows for red down here, the lowest they go is T4.  Hysterically, every form of red Tiki is in T4.  Also, maybe this is me not understanding something, but NY!Anna and NY!Eir in T4 surprises me.  I thought their weapons were considered great team support.  Are their stats just not optimized for it? 

T6 lances are many.  Too many, I’m not listing all of that.  What I will say is, tell my Forma Finn running on the double cav Galeforce defense team that he’s T6.  Considering I only lost two matches at all last season, and only 38 Lift, I’d say he’s doing alright.  But there are probably better options out there, I’m just working with what I have.  Mages are just Oliver and M!Robin.  Man, I hope M!Robin goes up with the resplendent.  Leave Oliver to die.  No dragons, bows, or daggers, they’re all up in T4 where...where...no.  No, there’s no way.  Lilith has warp abilities from anywhere.  NAESALA is considered T4, despite being paired with Tibarn for some of the nastiest offensive AR-D strategies out there.  Mordecai has the Smite thing.  I don’t agree with this at all.  And Ninian is T3?  Even though she’s one of the top picks for Infantry Pulse AR-D dancers?  I know Nils exists and is better in every way pretty much, but that’s a bit much to me.  I think the blue dragon/beast section is the most ridiculous by far.

There are also a lot of axes down in T6, but I agree with all of them.  The green mages make me sad, though.  Picnic Leo, Cecilia, and Female Robin.  I do think F!Robin has a lot of utility within the game, but...honestly they’re super right, she cannot possibly compete in AR.  Defense teams have no use for her, and offensive teams using her as a support are a bad idea with Panic Manor around.  Mostly Cecilia makes my heart hurt.  Come on, IS.  Null C-Disrupt Raven Tome when?  As with the other tiers, all dragons, bows, and daggers of this color are higher ranked.  That said, L!Lyn in T5.  Get fucked.  There’s also...absolutely nothing controversial about their T4 picks.  Green’s pretty well sorted, good job team.

The only colorless option with units in T6 are healers, where we have Azama, Mist, Wrys, Sakura, and Lissa.  Nothing controversial here.  In fact, nothing controversial in T5, either.  What is sad but super true, is that F!Grima’s here.  All the other colorless beasts and dragons are clustered in T1 and T2, but she’s down in T5.  Expiration refine when?  Felicia and Jaffar are the lowest ranked daggers, to no one’s surprise.  None of the bows are shocking either, except I’m kinda surprised Niles isn’t at least a little higher.  I feel like his massive Res must account for something when attempting to tank out the many ranged magic threats on AR-D, right?

Overall, I...actually agree with the majority of this.  It’s a solid tierlist for Aether Raids.  There are some things I don’t entirely agree with, but would have trouble arguing in their favor in the current meta.  Like Micaiah.  As we move entirely away from armor units, Micaiah becomes less and less significant.  I do think the blue dragon/beast section could take some revisiting, given that goddamn Naesala is down in T4, but one area that seems off isn’t bad when you have so much to organize.  I like it.  Definitely a lot better than the previous list, because at least now we’re specialized.  Before, there was always an argument that a certain unit was better or worse based on performance in a specific area.  But here, it’s more stable.  I’m not sure if there’s intent to make an Arena one, or if that’s even necessary since scoring is a lot more specific for Arena, but we’ll see.

[the-dark-kings]

Theory time: the apocalypse, the Dark King and Plum

We’re halfway through the season, which means it’s time for us to post some theories that will without a doubt be Jossed next week. This got long so I’m putting it under a cut. Spoilers for all promos and info released about season 5, as well as the books. Please join in with your own theories! 

First, a short overview of current unresolved storylines:

The Fillory apocalypse (The A plot, carried mostly by Julia)

The Dark King + the fairies (A.2 plot; Eliot, Margo)

Plum Chatwin and the voices she’s hearing (Penny)

The Circumstances changing due to the moon being a petty bitch (Alice)

Marina’s schemes + the Hedges (Kady)

Plus some plot points that seem relevant:

The Clock Dwarf

Quentin’s notes

The Etheric Realm + Fogg

The Markus sisters

The Visigoths

Jane Chatwin

Now, in typical Magicians fashion, most of these storylines will without a doubt end up being connected somehow. For this post I’m focusing on the apocalypse plot and how it potentially relates to the Dark King and Plum Chatwin. Scroll all the way down for a tl;dr summary.

THE APOCALYPSE PART 1: THE DARK KING

I think the apocalypse and the Dark King are an obvious combo here. There’s plenty we don’t know about the Dark King yet, so a lot of the following speculation is pretty baseless, but that’s how we roll.

We know The Dark King Seb is immortal (origin unknown), has ancestors on Earth, has a dead lover, and is desperate to remain King of Fillory. I’ve seen theories floating around of either a connection with the McAllisters or the Chatwins. Both are likely contenders, but I’m leaning towards Chatwins just because all Brits on this show tend to be Chatwins. 

Coincidentally, we have a queer Chatwin on this show whose lover died under tragic circumstances some 300 years ago—give or take. Odds on TDK being Rupert Chatwin in disguise? After all, Rupert was one of the only Earthling rulers the Fillorians actually seemed to like, and Eliot mentions in 5x03 that he knows about the Mountain of Ghosts because Rupert intended to visit it in Fillory and Further. Might be coincidence, might not.

(I’ve also seen people theorize he’s Quentin’s descendant, but I’m gonna veto that one on grounds of Eliot having enough on his plate as it is, and he deserves to fuck the ambiguous Big Bad with minimum guilt.)

I mentioned the Clock Dwarf earlier because that seemed too relevant a plot point for the show to just introduce and then never reference again. Classic Chekhov’s Gun. What we know: the Clock Dwarf tells Margo and Eliot that if anyone were to wind back the clock, that would destroy Fillory. And what do you know, there just happens to be a prophecy about an apocalypse in Fillory. My theory: someone’s going to attempt to wind back time. Perhaps the guy who’s still making yearly mourning trips for his lover who died centuries ago? This attempt will cause the apocalypse.

Additionally, and now we’re going full baseless speculation: I believe the characters will fail to prevent this apocalypse. Episode 5x13 is titled “Fillory and Further”, indicating the climax will have something to do with Fillory in specific. And if this season finale doubles as a series finale, then what better way to go out than destroying Fillory itself? 

I mentioned the notes Alice finds in Quentin’s stuff earlier, because the last full trailer that was released seems to reference those. Smarter people than me who have actually finished the books have theorized that these notes are the ones book!Quentin uses to create a new world at the end of the series. You see where I’m going with this. If Fillory is done for, they’ll need to create a new world for the Fillorians and fairies. Plus, thematically it’s a nice way to honor Quentin and to end the season (and/or show) with an ending and a beginning.

.

THE APOCALYPSE PART 2: PLUM CHATWIN

I know I said earlier that I think the Dark King will cause the apocalypse. However, there’s some stuff that doesn’t quite add up with that. For one, there’s the actual prophecy, which we get in the form of Todd’s song. As Julia realizes, it’s fairly useless in terms of actual guidelines, but there’s some interesting stuff about how the apocalypse is supposedly going down.

The second verse (as posted by Elle Lipson on Twitter):

The evil forces enter a forest glade Coming from a distant realm to invade We have to seal the door or death will come for everyone Destroying all of nature, ba de da da shmeveryone

Evil forces from a distant realm… with all due respect to his Dark Kingliness, but that doesn’t sound like him, or the Takers. Someone, or something, is attempting to invade Fillory, and the hero has to shut them out. This sounds a lot like what Plum is dealing with: a signal from another realm that selected her because she’s a Chatwin. But is it trying to warn her? Scare her? Select her as the hero Fillory needs right now?

Sidenote: another (potentially coincidental) tie-in to the main plot is that book!Plum is a descendant of Rupert Chatwin. If TDK is Rupert Chatwin, then that’s probably relevant in… some way.

More relevant prophecy bits:

And I forget this next part, but I think it's about clocks

Clock Dwarf, I’m telling y’all.

The key to fixing things is in the something something place

Yeah, I got nothing.

Blah de-blah, the way to stop this sorry tale of woe And end the shit that started many centuries ago

Okay so this is an interesting bit. So far I’ve been talking about the apocalypse as something that’s yet to happen, because we haven’t seen any effects so far. It’s something Julia is trying to prevent. But this line implies that the events were set in motion a long time ago. It does check out that it’s connected to the Dark King, but how literal are we to take “started”? Does he know about this threat to Fillory? This is where my theories run into a wall, simply because we don’t have enough info to go on.

.

TL;DR

The apocalypse will be caused by some combination of the Dark King and “evil forces from another realm”. The Dark King may or may not be Rupert Chatwin, Plum may or may not be related to him. Our heroes will fail to save Fillory, but will create another world based on Quentin’s notes for the people and animals of Fillory to retreat to. Everyone lives happily ever after, mostly, and Plum is truly the only surviving Chatwin after Jane and Seb Rupert die.

Note: I left out a bunch of stuff, primarily the Alice and Kady plots because I have no idea where they’re planning to go with those. I assume they’re connected somehow, potentially to each other, but I’m stumped.

So my main questions at the end of all this are:

Why does the Dark King need to be King, as per the promo for 5x08, and how did he come to be immortal? (We’re probably getting this answer in 5x08 and I wrote this post a week too early, I know.)

What was Marina’s plan, and is Kady actually going to be relevant this season?

Is Alice’s botany guy shady? If he is, I’m voting he’s with Marina, if not he’s a tritely introduced love interest.

What’s with the Fairies?

What’s with the Visigoths?

Are the writers actually going to follow up on their storylines this season or is this theorizing all useless? 

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

Random Wondy Series Thoughts, Part the Third

Third part of Woman of Truth, here we go!

Part One

Last Time:

Themyscira being revealed was shut down hard by Etta and the Holliday Girls (all of them Scions), who fought Phobos. Zeus went Hank Pym on Hera, and Ares demanded his kids increase their plan. Meanwhile, Hippolyta did the 2017 arc, and Diana won the games, leaving Themyscira as Phobos summoned Decay to hunt her and Etta down.

Onwards!

We open on the boat, the six Holliday Girls including Etta explaining the general state of life for a demigod, establishing a) Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter exist, and b) the Holliday Girls are a quasi-Hunters of Artemis by way of sorority. We also get introduced to the rest of the Girls, who are:

Glamora Treat, a Scion of Athena who spends a lot of time gazing at Diana and her swimsuit.

Lita ‘Little’ and Thelma ‘Tall’ Rhodes, twin Scions of Mercury and the only two Romans. Tall is currently in the midst of an existential crisis, because she was the tallest of the group at 5’11” until Diana and her 6’2” came along, whereas Little just thinks Diana’s really pretty.

Gell Osey, an unclaimed Scion who spends most of her time glaring at Diana.

Gay. No, seriously, that’s her name. She calls herself Gay because she grew up in the Bible Belt with an unmarried mother and a predilection for being a tomboy, and thus a lot of people saying she should ‘look prettier’ so that ‘people don’t get the wrong impression’. She legally changed her name, just in case they hadn’t gotten the wrong impression yet. She’s also, incidentally, a Scion of Callisto, and literally has two mothers.

Etta keeps making reference to a ‘doctor’, and when Diana asks just says that she’s the ‘smartest person I know’. She further explains that she’s not a Scion, but has forgotten more about mythology and lore than any Scion will ever know.

Steve asks about his co-pilot’s face melting off, and Diana explains that the co-pilot was actually a Keres, a spirit of war released from Pandora’s pythos, musing that Ares must be controlling them somehow.

Cutting to Areopagus, we see it explained: the Keres are attracted to Medusa’s Heart, and Phobos and Deimos then bind them, building what is effectively an army of war spirits for Ares. Kydoimos appears and says he’s found Orpheus’ Gateway, leading the three to disappear.

As the party arrive at Gateway City, Diana gets to have her fish-out-of-water comedy moments, though not too many – whilst Diana doesn’t understand stuff like American culture and what a hot dog or ice cream are, she does understand what watches, cars and marriage are.

When Gay makes the mistake of assuming Hippolyta and Phillipus are married, Diana explains that the Laws of Themyscira state the monarch cannot marry – hence for Hippolyta to marry she would have to abdicate the throne. Hippolyta has offered, but Phillipus won’t hear of it.

Eventually, they arrive at their destination – the house of one Julia Kapatelis, the ‘doc’ Etta keeps referring to.

However, also present is one Professor Barbara Minerva, a former student of Julia’s and the second smartest person Etta knows.

Etta starts stumbling over her words, which Steve lightly ribs her for – what, Diana gets no reaction, but one sight of slacks and she’s done for?

Steve and Etta, btw, are that sibling pairing. At some point, Diana is going to compare them to Artemis and Apollo.

Both Julia and Barbara are fascinated by Diana, Barbara a bit more… possessively than Julia. It’s established that Barbara and Julia had a falling out over Barbara’s compulsive need to seek out knowledge, even stuff she should by no rights be seeking out. Essentially Barbara is Indiana Jones and Julia is more Mau from Terry Pratchett’s Nation. We’re also introduced to Vanessa Kapatelis, who almost immediately starts hero-worshipping Diana.

Then everything changes when Decay and a horde of Keres attacks.

This fight scene seeks to establish several things: that Steve is woefully unprepared and outclassed by almost everything else, that the Holliday Girls work well as a team, that despite Steve, Julia and Vanessa being half-delirious through Decay’s application of the Mist Barbara is completely unaffected, and that for as good a fight as the others might be putting up, Diana is a fucking beast. Some individual action beats:

Glamora directing the entire fight from the sidelines – seriously, even Diana defers to her judgement, albeit only because Glamora knows how to utilize Gateway City’s architecture in their favour.

Tall and Little being really good both at paired combat and at stealth and sabotage.

Etta Charmspeaking Decay at one point, though Decay quickly shrugs it off.

Gay animating a small wooden bear she carries around to grow to massive size and defend the mortals, possibly with a Bible reference.

Most importantly for later, Gell making all the Keres turn tail and run with a single smirk.

Diana throughout her fight trying to talk Decay down, getting her closest when she jury-rigs a lasso out of a stray cable.

Regardless, Decay is eventually killed, and Diana, to the confusion of the Holliday Girls, starts praying for Decay to find peace. Diana explains that Themyscira values all life, even the monstrous, and gives a brief overview of the Medusa myth – with the added information that Athena turned Medusa into a gorgon to protect her.

Cut back to Olympus, where Athena and Aphrodite are watching the process. Aphrodite snarks that that would have been a splendid plan if Athena had actually explained it. Athena tells her to be quiet, then muses that they need to advance their plans, given what Ares’ sons are doing.

Speaking of which, we then cut to Phobos, Deimos and Kydoimos arriving at Gateway City, where, they reveal, Orpheus’ Gateway is located (Orpheus’ Gateway being a way into the Underworld that can only be opened by music.) Forcing a Keres to play a harp, they enter the Underworld.

Back on Olympus, Athena and Aphrodite walk into Hephaestus’ forge, where the crippled god is working. Him and Aphrodite bitch at each other for a bit, where it’s revealed that they have been divorced since the early 1910s, a fact that has apparently driven Hera nuts. Aphrodite is also really embarrassed about her previous association with Ares. Impatient, Athena asks Hephaestus if he’s ready, to which he sighs and says yes.

Back at the Kapatelis Household, Vanessa is geeking out over Diana, whilst the Holliday Girls gang up on Gell and ask her what that whole ‘turn back an army with a smile’ thing came from. Gell shrugs, says she doesn’t know, then asks Etta if she’s sure they can trust Diana. Alarmed, Etta asks her why she would say such a thing, and Gell shrugs and says she just has a bad feeling about her.

Julia and Barbara walk in with Steve, who explains they still don’t know why Ares would choose now to attack Themyscira – he’s checked in and the military is saying nothing, which means either they haven’t heard about the boat exploding or Ares is deliberately supressing the information.

Diana remains convinced that Ares must be attempting something in Patriarch’s World and wanted the Amazons to not be able to intervene. Etta mentions she heard tell of Ares being manipulated by something a couple of years ago – maybe that has something to do with it (yes, Lightning Thief happened the same way – this is going to come up later). Julia wonders why Decay came to Gateway City, leading the Holliday Girls to explain the deal – Gateway City has some of the largest examples of neo-Greek architecture in North America, and as such the Gods prefer to come here more than any other city except perhaps New York. It therefore necessarily has both a gateway to Olympus, and one to the Underworld – Orpheus’ Gateway. Speaking of which:

In Hades, the three sons of Ares are walking along, scanning the horizon for agents of Hades. Eventually, Kydoimos stops and says they’ve arrived. The camera pans to reveal…

The Doors of Death. Suddenly, there’s a flapping of wings and a hooded androgynous figure lands in front of them. Kydoimos demands Thanatos, for it is the Death God, stand aside

(Btw, whilst Thanatos is hooded for this episode, in every other appearance she looks like…

Death of the Endless. Also, whenever he shows up Morpheus is very obviously Daniel Hall’s Dream in a toga. Because I can)

Thanatos says nothing, simply takes out a sword. Phobos, Deimos and Kydoimos charge…

Olympus now, where Hephaestus, Athena and Aphrodite enter the council chamber and approach Hestia. Athena asks if Hestia will help, and Hestia replies that she will, but she will not aid in killing Ares. Athena smiles and say that’s okay, what she has planned for him will be much worse. Hestia turns to Hephaestus and tells him to hold out his hands. She collects a portion of Olympus’ Hearth-fire and, musing that she’s only done this once before, drops it in Hephaestus’ hands.

She warns him to not even attempt to speak untruths whilst holding or working the fire, because it won’t work. She then turns to Aphrodite, who is looking kinda gleeful, and warns her point blank to not even think about abusing that fact, because misuse of the fire will cause it to burn out. Athena thanks her, but Hestia has already turned back towards the fire, although on the way out she warns Athena to be careful – and, above all else, to not destroy the family.

Thus, Phobos, Deimos and Kydoimos’ fight with Thanatos is intercut with Hephaestus working the fire into a very familiar shape…

After extensive research, Julia discovers what might account both for the influx of Keres and Ares’ interest in Themyscira – the Doors of Death. Essentially the pressure-valve of the Underworld, opening the Doors even for a second would cause the worst of the worst to come pouring out the Underworld. Therefore, Ares wanted Themyscira for Doom’s Doorway – which could ensure the Doors remained open forever, resulting in endless war as the dead crawled out of the Underworld and Ares rose as the most powerful god of all.

(Whilst this is occurring, the Ares boyz win their fight and walk over Thanatos’ form to the Doors)

Suddenly, the ground is shook with a mighty earthquake, and there’s a flash of light as Hermes appears, saying that Diana needs to come with him. Diana trustingly places her hand in his and they both disappear to…

Olympus, where Zeus is holding court. This scene establishes something: Diana’s treatment of the Gods goes from loving devotion/submission (the patrons, including Hera) to grudging respect (Hephaestus, Apollo) to ‘hey fuckface, wassup?’ (Zeus and Poseidon)

With Ares not present, Zeus is forced to conclude that he was the one who opened the Doors. He commands Diana to find Ares and bring him to Olympus, with the patrons protesting that it is suicide. Diana, musingly, asks what opening the Doors means. Hermes informs her that although the Doors were only open for a second, the worst monsters and humans Hades has to offer still escaped and are now running rampant. Irritated, Zeus declares humanity not their problem, and not worth saving anyway, has everyone forgotten what they did without the Gods’ help?

Flashing back to Hippolyta, Diana sighs.

She looks at Zeus.

She says ‘No.’

She informs the Olympians that her intention is to secure the Doors, round up the escapees and only then, when people are safe, will she attack Ares, and that if they won’t help her she’ll do it herself. Apoplectic with rage, Zeus is about to command her again, when Hera steps up and says that she’ll have her support. The rest of the patrons and Apollo quickly follow suit, Hephaestus refusing because it’s Hera asking, although he does offer help. Faced with the choice of either losing face or risking war, Zeus agrees grudgingly.

Finally, the patrons step forward to offer her items to be used in this task:

From Athena, a circlet that will allow her to think faster than any human.

From Aphrodite, a breastplate that will allow her to project a low level glamour over her outfit (that can only be broken by spinning, yes this is a Linda Carter joke)

From Artemis, two bracelets that block any and all attacks.

From Demeter, a belt that increases her strength.

From Hermes, a gooey substance that can take whatever form she desires (he mentions he stole it from New Genesis)

And finally, Hestia warmly gifts her the Lasso of Truth, which will compel anyone, be they man or god, to speak truly.

Thanking them all, Diana give the Amazon salute and returns to Gateway City, starting to help with the damage. Zeus and Poseidon both storm off, and all but the patrons leave. Aphrodite asks if Diana is ready for the world, and Hestia says that they should be asking: is the world ready for Diana?

Sometime later:

Diana and Steve look out over a now rebuilt Gateway City. Diana asks what Steve will do now, and Steve admits that he’s thinking about returning to the Air Force. Shocked, Diana asks why, and he says that he feels he can do more there – under a different alias, he can find out how much Ares has infected the place, and who is able to resist him. He then asks what Diana plans to do, and she says she’ll take each day as it comes. Steve teasingly asks if this makes her a hero, and she admits all she knows of heroes are her mother’s stories of Heracles – she doesn’t want to be that kind of hero. Steve, a small smile on his face, says she needn’t worry – she’s definitely not. As a fire engine races past and Diana flies off to help, Steve admits that, whatever else she is, she’s his hero, this one they’re calling Wonder Woman.

We close on Areopagus, Ares watching Diana fly off, musing to himself that he can’t wait to meet her in person as he summons his three children to plan for his endgame – the destruction of Themyscira itself.

So, the pilot’s finally done. Thank you all for being so patient and, as always, any questions you have, just ask and I’ll do my best to answer.

[darthrevaan]

Things Come Together - RvB Rare Pair Week Fic

Title: Things Come Together

Relationship: Katie Jensen/Volleyball

Words: 2679

Summary:  Even in the midst of war, not everything is torn apart. Jensen and Volleyball during their time in the New Republic.

Notes: Written for @rvbrarepairweek ! Let’s spread some Jolleyball love ;) 

Available on AO3

People have told Katie a hundred times that she and Volleyball are so close, they must have been childhood friends, right?

Katie always smiles and shakes her head. Nope. We met the day I joined up.

“Joined up” is a misleading phrase. Katie Jensen didn’t sign up to join the army; she just didn’t have much of a choice. When you get pulled out of a burning building by a young man in armour who tells you, “Hang tight kid, we’ll take you back to base” – well, you don’t tell him no.

Back then the rebel army still had a required age to sign up for military operations, so Volleyball – two months older than Katie, nearly sixteen and just about bursting to get started – was loud, larger than life, a warm, bright distraction from the well of grief that sat hollow in Katie’s chest. She still went by Amira then, and she spotted Katie the moment she shuffled into the mess hall, shoulders hunched, hugging herself with her arms.

“Let’s get you some food,” she said, her voice blunt but kind. “I’ll show you which bits are vaguely edible.”

Volleyball and the others carried the conversation that day, and Katie was grateful – she could just listen, distract herself without having to worry about contributing.

She learnt all their stories in time. Most followed a similar pattern; parents or other guardians lost to some accident or calamity, they’d migrated here for safety, out of necessity, or sometimes, for revenge.

“My dad used to be part of an anti-government group,” one of the other girls told her one night. “Back when they used to do peaceful demonstrations and debates, y’know. He told me he used to get arrested every other week; that’s why Mom left him, he said.”

“She didn’t like the arrests? Or she didn’t believe in the cause?”

Katie could just about see the other girl shrug in the darkness. “Both? I don’t know. I guess, if she’s still alive, she’s a Fed now.”

Her name was Julia; she died on their third mission after completing training, a supply run in the hills west of Armonia. Katie can still remember Julia telling her about the nightmares she used to have – being shot by a Fed soldier who took her helmet off to reveal her mother’s face.

If people have family with the Feds, they don’t talk about it. It’s not a taboo subject, but it’s a pain one mostly keeps to oneself.

A few weeks after Katie joined the New Republic Volleyball turned sixteen and joined one of the training squads, so she saw a lot less of her. When Katie turned sixteen as well, she became part of the same squad.

“I asked if we could form our own team,” Volleyball told her in the dorm after lights out. “They told me I’m too young to lead one. But one day, right?”

Katie had nodded. “Yeah, definitely.”

Katie had never had occasion to hold or shoot a gun before, and she was disappointed to find she wasn’t that good at it. “You’ll improve with time,” the trainer told her, and she sure hoped so; even hitting near the target was an achievement for her right now.

Volleyball was a slightly better shot, but far and away better when it came to hand to hand. “I used to beat kids up behind the bike shed at school,” she’d say, grinning from ear to ear.

“I don’t think that’s something to be proud of, Amira,” Katie would reply, and Volleyball would laugh, her loud, raucous laugh that always made people turn and look and set off a weird fluttery feeling in Katie’s stomach.

It was when Volleyball picked fights that Katie got worried. Usually she kept it to snarky comments or sharp words, but the first time she got in a fistfight was the first time Katie felt truly scared for her best friend. It all came to nothing, ending with both combatants limping moodily away from each other after being yelled at by a senior officer, and Volleyball letting Katie lecture her as she wrapped a bag of some frozen vegetable she’d pilfered from the kitchen in a towel so it could be held to her black eye.

The second time Volleyball got in a fistfight was mostly memorable because it was the first time Katie saw the New Republic’s mercenary up close.

“Time out, wildcat,” Felix had snapped, and the way he pulled Volleyball back by the collar of her uniform did sort of remind Katie of a cat with its kitten. The other guy slid backwards on his butt, getting quickly out of range, holding a hand to his bloody nose while Volleyball glared murder at him. “Why you wailing on the guy, anyway?” Felix asked, sounding irritated rather than angry.

Volleyball transferred her glare to him. “He called Sam a bitch.”

Felix raised an eyebrow. “And no one calls people names while you’re in town, Batman? That it?”

Volleyball didn’t answer, just glared at him until he made a disgusted noise and released the back of her shirt. “Whatever. Just clear out, and don’t let Kimball find you fighting.”

“He’s an asshole,” Volleyball had fumed later when they were back in the dorm.

“Has been since we joined, well done for noticing,” Chopra said from the other end of the room.

Volleyball threw a shoe at her, which she ducked with a yelp. “Seriously, though. What a fucking douchebag.”

“He kills people for money,” Katie pointed out, “Did you expect him to be a paragon of virtue?”

That made the other girls giggle, and even Volleyball cracked a smile. “What big words you use, Miss Jensen,” she said.

“I read a book once in a while,” Katie sniffed, faking haughtiness, and that made Volleyball laugh.

Volleyball got her chance at leading a month into their training. A simple capture-the-flag exercise, it should have gone easily enough.

Of course, few things in their lives went easily.

“That,” Volleyball groaned, slumping down onto the bench next to Katie, “was a disaster. A fuckin’ shit show.”

“It was only your first time,” Katie said, trying to sound encouraging.

“The first and only time.” Volleyball put her face in her hands. “Not like they’ll let me take the lead again.”

“Never say-”

“Never,” Volleyball said grimly. “Katie, we charged right into their ambush and got shot down to the last man. And woman. Last human. Whatever, we just plain sucked, okay?”

“It was your first time,” Katie said again, emphasizing the words. “No one’s perfect on the first run.”

Volleyball had just made a discontented noise and started eating her soup.

Despite mishaps of tactics, they’d both graduated to full New Republic Privates after their intense four-month training program, and begun to run real missions.

Actually being on the battlefield, Katie discovered, was nothing like being in the training hall. She desperately tried not to freeze up and lose her head, but it was hard to concentrate on anything but the sound of bullets whizzing around her, the roar of her own heartbeat in her ears.

Still, she survived where many others didn’t – though whether that was down to skill or luck, she can’t say.

Now she and Volleyball are standing with the others on what passes as the New Republic’s parade ground, listening to General Kimball make a speech about their new arrivals.

“War heroes?” Katie hears Volleyball whisper over the radio. She darts her eyes to her HUD, confirming that she’s is talking to her over their own private channel. “Do you think it’s for real?”

“I don’t know,” Katie hisses back. “Why would war heroes be all the way out here?”

Volleyball is silent at that, but Katie can tell from her silence that she’s thinking about it. “You think they’re fake?” she asks after a moment.

“I haven’t even met them yet,” Katie says, noncommittal. “But if General Kimball believes it…”

“Hmm.” Volleyball lets out a long, low sigh. “I guess we’ll just see for ourselves.”

The Reds and Blues aren’t exactly what Katie would have expected of war heroes. They’re not confident and self-assured like Felix, don’t have the quiet strength and determination that emanates from Kimball. They’re not even that good at capture the flag.

But there is something about them. They may not be perfect soldiers, but they’ve seen things. Sometimes when they speak, it seems to come from a well of personal experience that Katie can’t begin to fathom.

And sometimes they can’t talk to her without their voice breaking every five seconds like a fourteen-year-old boy.

Well. Actually that’s just one of them in particular.

“This helmet’s almost done, sir,” Katie says, fixing the last few wires into place.

Captain Simmons just nods at her; he prefers to communicate non-verbally where possible. She’s wondered if she should offer to take up learning military hand signals, if only so they could communicate more effectively.

Still, when they’re not trying to hold a conversation, it’s kind of nice to sit and work side by side. Irrespective of his communication problems, Captain Simmons is matching her blow for blow – if one reimagines the phrase as pertaining to wiring cameras into helmets, that is.

When she gets back to the dorm Volleyball is the only one still up, sitting on her bed in the near-darkness, arms crossed, just waiting. “It’s almost midnight, Katie,” she whispers, disapproving.

“Lost track of time,” Katie mumbles, pulling her armour off.

When Volleyball doesn’t speak, Katie looks up and makes out an expression of vague suspicion through the darkness. “We were rewiring helmets,” she says quickly, “Nothing weird.”

Volleyball rolls her eyes. “From anyone else that would sound like bullshit, but because it’s you?” She snorts and lies back on her bed. “You managed to get a project like that done without exchanging words? Or was it the conversation that slowed the whole process down?”

Katie feels slightly defensive at Volleyball’s derisive tone, though she tries not to show it. “It’s just a fiddly bit of work. That’s all.” She clambers into bed, pulling the covers snugly down over herself. “I’m going to sleep, V. I’ll see you in the morning.” Volleyball only grunts in response.

They don’t really talk about the whole team leader thing. Volleyball is smart enough to know that she’s not really cut out for the job – her head for tactics hasn’t noticeably improved since their first dramatic failure – but Katie knows it stings nonetheless. Having your teenage dream crushed isn’t a pleasant experience for anyone.

But it’s not like being team leader really means anything, not when you’re disposable enough that your Captains prefer to sneak away in the night just so they can leave you behind.

And then get killed. There’s that, as well.

Katie’s hiding in an unused section of the base when Volleyball drops down beside her, huffing out a breath as she hits the ground. “Thought I’d find you here,” she says, voice soft.

Katie sniffs and says nothing.

They sit in silence for a while before Volleyball says, “They left to protect you, y’know.”

Katie bites her lip. “And if we’d been there, if we’d had their backs like we were supposed to, they might not have-” The tightness in her throat cuts her off.

“Not from the way Felix tells it.”

“Fuck Felix,” Katie snaps, so forcefully that Volleyball jerks round to look at her. “He doesn’t know, not for sure. We could’ve done something.”

“I…” Volleyball stops, the fingers of one hand tapping against the other, as if she’s not quite sure how to put into words what she wants to say. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Katie,” she says after a moment, “But I’d rather have you than them.”

Katie looks at her long and hard, then glances away. “That’s only sentiment talking.”

“Maybe.” Volleyball taps two fingers on the knee plate of her armour, two quick sharp taps. “But aren’t feelings what makes all this matter?”

Katie can’t, as it turns out, argue with that.

As they gear up for their assault on the capital, Katie often finds herself thinking back to that quiet night rewiring helmets with Captain Simmons. It’s always seemed so strange to her, how someone can be so alive in one moment and so very dead in the next. How someone’s memory can linger like a ghost, almost as corporeal as their living body, even after they’ve been put in the earth.

Volleyball comes to her the night before they leave for Armonia. There’s a ledge about halfway up the walls, easy enough to scramble to up the cliff face at the back of the motor pool, and from it Katie can lean back against the rock wall and look up through the gash in the earth that hides them, out at the starry night sky.

She hears Volleyball grunting with the effort pf climbing and the scrapes her armour makes against the rock face long before she sees her. Her friend finally hauls herself up onto the ledge, out of breath, and flops down beside her. “You make it look so easy,” she complains. “Scrambling up here like a monkey.”

“One thing I can still beat you at,” Katie says with a grin.

“Yeah yeah, cocky,” Volleyball taps the side of Katie’s helmet with her fist gently, a gesture that’s come to replace ruffling someone’s hair among the troops. “What’re you contemplating up here all alone?”

“Our possible imminent death?”

“Cheery.” Volleyball mirrors Katie’s casual slump against the wall and folds her arms. “You don’t think the plan’s gonna work?”

“It might work, but I also might die in the process.”

“You could have died in any of our missions.”

“Yeah,” Katie shrugs, “But this is taking the capital. It’s on a whole other level. Kimball’s not hiding the fact that there’ll be casualties.”

“I can’t see it being you,” Volleyball says confidently.

“Because you don’t want it to be me,” Katie says.

“No, I’m pretty sure you’re too smart to get shot.”

Katie can’t tell if she’s joking, but she laughs anyway. “No one’s too smart to get shot.”

Volleyball makes a noncommittal noise and says nothing.

They sit side by side for a long time in the quiet night, neither saying anything. The only sound is the wind whistling through the caverns, night creatures rustling and calling, and a few quiet noises of late night activity from the base.

After a while Volleyball reaches up and pulls off her helmet, taking a deep breath of unfiltered night air. “I’m gonna miss this place if things go south,” she says quietly.

Katie snorts. “This hole in the ground?”

Volleyball smiles in the darkness. “It’s more than that. The people… the people make it more.”

“So what you’re saying is, you’ll miss us,” Katie says, and also reaches up to take off her helmet. The humid, hot air hits her skin, bringing with it the smell of earth and the jungle.

“I’ll miss you,” Volleyball says softly. When Katie turns to look at her, she says, “You in particular, I mean.”

“Really?” Katie says, feeling a grin pull at her lips without being able to suppress it.

“Yeah,” Volleyball says. She sounds breathless. “I mean… you… You and me are…”

“We’re what?” Katie breaths.

Volleyball hesitates, then whispers, “Fuck it,” and leans in to kiss her.

Katie stills, and there’s a single, magic moment when everything goes quiet, as if the world is holding its breath. Volleyball’s lips are soft and warm against hers. After the first second of surprise, Katie kisses back as best as she knows how.

After what seems like hours, Volleyball pulls back. “Sorry,” she whispers, “Probably should’ve given you a little more warning on that one.”

Katie shakes her head. “That was good,” she says, her voice just as soft, “Didn’t need any warning.”

Volleyball laughs quietly. “What?”

Katie blushes, hoping the darkness will hide it, and says, “I’m trying to tell you that you can kiss me whenever you want, idiot.”

[survivorindia]

Episode 1-Queen Maple Syrup Chugger Liam

Liam's on the other tribe. </3 Hopefully I will be reunited with Queen Maple Syrup Chugger Liam and we can rule this game before I live up to my villain role and backstab him. :D Also meeting people is annoying, we're all so fake to each other and we know it.

Lol I'm being so fake to someone. I'm talking to them about not liking fake people while I'm being the fakest ho out there.

MMMMMMMM so Ruben and Alexis are dating outside the game. Don't mind me, I'm just on the edge of spilling some tea. I C O N I C.

Tbh I'm probably out, Lexi knows too many damn people.

Let me just say that Robin is amazing and I'm her #1 fan  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWizmnr8Ylc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc7x7gO4FDs

So first opinions of my tribe? Dry.. I've talked to Dom who seems nice & he's the person out of everyone who I could see myself most working with. Ruben's pretty cool but everyone else just seems blah.. I just hope that we can liven this tribe up a bit just so that we can get this challenge done.. I'm throwing out suggestions & kinda sorta trying to lead my team this week but no ones responding. If we end up at tribal i swear to God.. anyways, thanks to Bernel, who's a good friend of mine outside this game, I know a good amount of tea about his tribe.. like how he plans on alligning with Jordan & Jaiden & one other person from his tribe. He said that Jordan wants to eventually work with some newbies, so my game plan at this point is to try and form a good connection with Dom, so he & I can be the newbies Jordan, Bernel & Jaiden work with.

So my tribe is heading to the first tribal council, surprise surprise, and yes I am feeling extremely nervous cause who wants to be the first person to go home? 24th place? That's flop status.. but anyways, I'm hoping that since Dom & i promised to have each other's backs I'll be safe. I just have to figure out where the rest of the tribe stands BUT NO ONE TALKS TO EACH OTHER!! Dom & i want to get either Lexi or Ruben out because we've both heard from multiple people on the returnee villains tribe that they're dating. And dating means alliance and anyone who isn't in an alliance with me is an enemy. Ruben was trying to pick my brain & find out where I stand with my vote, but how am I supposed to turn the tribe against his girlfriend without him finding out?? Things are about to get interesting.. hopefully

Ok so things just kinda got messy.. after talking to Casey & Lexi, i learned majority of the votes are going to Aidan tonight. So me being the messy bitch that I am.. I went & told Aidan because I want Lexi gone. He says he's on board with voting Lexi off, but even still that would only be three votes for her & then most likely three votes for Aidan. Dom is currently trying to get Casey on board but I just don't know if it's gonna work.. I really think Casey & Lexi are cliqued up & since Lexi & Ruben are together that makes three for their side. I don't know.. it all lies on Casey at this point & if somehow I end up going home tonight then so be it.. I went out swinging & trying to take my target down & that's good enough for me.

I'm very very upset because I'm pretty sure Aidan is going home tonight & even though he's not really an ally, he is a vote. However,  he's messy as fuck.. he told Lexi that I agreed to voting off Casey & then asked him to talk to her & Ruben about it.. EXCUSE ME? That never happened & like.. what person wouldn't ask the person they're about to start a rumor about for permission first? Especially if my ass is trying to save you.. he just definitely could have handled that better. He said it was to throw her off or something like no, that's just messy. Anyways, even though Aidan is going home tonight both Lexi & Ruben approached me about the rumors & assured me they weren't true.. & I assured and lied RIGHT BACK TO THEM that I believed them. & I think they trust me so at least I'm on the good of the majority.

So first confessional! Hello I love my tribe, it's super cute super friendly I know that if we get going to tribal though I am definitely the weakest link and gotta go. We have jaiden who is amazing, Jordan spines what an icon, Julia the Wiccan? My fave. Nobody is realistically gonna vote out anyone but me. So I'm really hoping that we keep slaying these comps until we merge or swap or what not and that the newbie should keep flopping. 

Hello I'm bacc, I guess it's time I make a confessional 👀 I'll do a tribe assessment tru Alex- kweent! They hosted the game I won so an icon truly ! Ashley- I'm on the fence w her bc I feel like she doesn't like but only time will tell suppose Kendall- icon !!!!!!! I love ha so much! Realistically if I were to make a f2 deal it'd be with Kendall, like I trust ha a lot more than the others Gav- WHEW I've already had a couple convos with this icon and honslee I can see myself working with them, Me forgetting the last person skdbsk oh yeah Ace- to trust his ass or to not trust his ass that's the question. I know ace can be sneaky so like ????? He could try to clocc me at any second Anyway I like this tribe overall and I think I've already made a solid alliance with Alex gav and Kendall so hopefully it lasts! Anyway I'm trying to do this challenge but like no! One! Is! Making! The! Doc! Viewable! On! Mobile! Like how is a bitch supposed to contribute when they're not letting me contribute Godt! Anyway I saw chicken nuggets on the list so like guess who's going to McDonald's after work :~)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA23P2H2PA4

Whoa, I'm a nice guy I guess. I wouldn't call myself a hero so much as wimpy underdog that smells like french fries. But oh well, it'll be fun to see what I can do to destroy this Good Cop vs Bad Cop routine down the road :~). These people can't talk for shite! I can see why we're not villains because the best villains can actually like work a decent social game, not just half heartedly agree to everything I say. I've had better conversations with Gavin and Alex than with Whitney and Robin already lmao... at least Liam can hold up a conversation for something. Anywho, let's see how this goes... maybe I caught them at a bad time but I could be in a group with people with lousier social games than I! Which, I mean, isn't necessarily a bad thing but it'll probably be boring if people talk like this for a long while... I just really want this honeymoon period to end so I can stop suffering!!!

This challenge is pretty good for a guy like me, assuming I have like half of the shite there. Since it's the first challenge, if we happen to lose, all that matters is that you contributed. And I've already done like a sixth or fifth or something of the total amount so if I can find more to shove in, I think I'll be able to roll through this round A-OK. Steven, Robin, and Liam are the three I like the most so far. Whitney seems cool but it felt like she didn't want to talk to me yesterday so idk with her and Lexi idek it's like she over exaggerates stuff and that's a pet peeve, yo. Hopefully we can all become chatty because it just feels so slow... I hate the honeymoon of ORGs, these first days honestly SUCK in everything since nobody wants to do anything rippo.

Yiiikes, we lost. Our tribe isn't overly social so I'm not sure what's the happenings right now, but it looks like Steven's the one who's talking the most. I'll wager he's safe and he's pretty cool, so I'm fine with it even if he's the one wielding all the power. Lexi is talkativeish too, so she should be fine. Whitney's active enough in the tribe chat so she may make it through, not sure on people's perceptions of Robyn all too much... tbh I think Liam's in a baaaad spot here. I don't recall him helping much with the challenge nor do I think he's integrating amazing well which sucks because I can use Liam out here. I can say I helped with the challenge, but even then, I'm not sure if I have a strong enough social game to slide by without my name appearing in somebody's mouth. I'm not a social sorta guy but I'm not doing myself any favors out here. Hopefully Liam isn't going, and I can rise to the top with him here. Hopefully...

*sigh* Liam got brought up... he needs to get on and save his ass. We need a new target, it's his only chance... Though I'm not throwing my game away if he ain't gonna give two shits js

AHHHHH I got the TARGET SWITCHED I think. WHEW! Basically, I had to resort to all necessary measures I could. I went hunting and found some TEA - apparently Lexi and Ruben from the newbie villains are/were dating. How interesting. I took this and slid into Liam's PMs and told him to swing Whitney before the others could. He succeeded - she came to me and said she was down to vote Lexi! Then I went and swung Robin and I think we're both working on Steven now... this might be unanimous now... I am actually shook by how I turned the target so quickly. I just hope I'm not screwed and being duped.

I think Steven's expecting me to vote Liam out but highkey I already voted Lexi what to do what to do

HONESTLY if this works out I'm down for a Whitney-Liam-me alliance we'd rock this game whew. All that we need to do rn is make sure Robin is locked down and then Steven has put himself in one baaaad spot. I'm also fortunate that Liam's still going to be the target of Steven's mind so I can avoid the spotlight again and just do what I can to settle down the others :~)

Warning, the video is ear cancer, but... *long, drawn out, annoyingly squeaky screaming noise https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvL8kLB39aw

This tribe is so quiet or they just don't talk to me I'm definitely worried about tonight very good chance I'll be the going home but I'm gonna try to talk with Jonny and Liam and see if I can figure something out to stay

Soooo as of the moment I feel alright unless everyone is lying to me I feel like I have a good chance to stay in the game. It seems like Liam and Lexi are the targets and unless Lexi comes on and starts talking to me finally that's how I plan to vote tonight 

I.. am so happy about this. First of all HELL TO THE O BITCH. So I thought I would start out badly since I wasnt here for the review because bad day, bad karma from stupid hexes. So I love this whole Hero VS. Villains twist, and the whole semi one world tribes! So my villains tribe I LOVE IT! Sarah, I feel I can trust, I love Jaiden, and I love Jordan and I feel like Jordan and Sarah will work together well, and I can work well with Sarah. So I hope that we can work really well in the tribe. More later!!!

So like I am stressed. I have no clue what so ever if I am that stable in this tribe anymore. I previously thought I was, but I was just informed by Sarah that there is an alliance. She was told by Jordan, that Bernel made a meninist alliance of him, Jaiden, and Jordan. And than Bernel now got the audacity to say that he thinks that he can pull me in. First of all, that kinda messes with my game Bernel like, now you are going to have Jaiden, Sarah, and Jordan possibly question me being trustworthy. I feel like Sarah knows that she is my ride or die, and that I completly trust Sarah the most out of this game. And it is 100 percent true, I won'the be going against Sarah, but everyone else? Be prepared. Anyway, because of this new alliance I am questioning Jaiden loyalty because he never told me, or Sarah about it. Only Jordan told Sarah. And Jordan obviously trusts Sarah more than me, which could be a potential problem. I know that because Jordan approached Sarah, and hasn'the told me a thing. Than we have Bernel, who thinks I trust him, but probably he wants to backstab me. And than Nicole honestly is on the outside and hasn'the caused any problems. This is so stressful. I'm so greatful that our tribe isn'the going to tribal, because it would have been absolute hell.

Well, I don't really know anyone on my tribe besides Lexi, which means I definitely have to start talking to people and getting on everyone's good side. UGH.

Whew, so I know its been a bit into the game and this is my first confessional but I promise I'll make more later. So this one just going to recap everything that happened in the first episode. Low key this is a shitty tribe. Like when I think of big villain names these do not come to mind. Like okay, obviously I am Jordan Pines Evil SupremeTM but like literally the only other person on this tribe who I am like you are actually a known villain is Jaiden. Like Bernel, Who? Sarah, not a villain. Nicole, is literally a hero and Julia is like a maybe idk. Like Kendall and Karen who are on the heroes tribe should have been on the villains. Like come on people. Anyways. I am currently aligned with a lot of people? Like Me and Jaiden,  Me and Sarah, Me and Bernel, Me Bernel and Jaiden, Me Jaiden and Sarah. And like i am close with Julia and Nicole just conversation wise. Whew its a lot. The good thing is that despite how big of a narcissistic asshole I am, I am not the biggest ego on this tribe. The great thing about this reject villains tribe is that everyone wants to prove themselves as deserving people of being villains and are like trying to control things already. Jaiden clearly wants to be the leader and its like have fun buddy. I've been there done that not happening this time. We won the challenge which was fun and then I contributed the most to the challenge and got an idol clue. How cute is that. I found the page like instantaneously and now am doing like grid guesses. Then my good hot friend Dom on the newbies is like hey I got an idol clue, and im like no way girl me too. It's the same one but I am pretending that I havent found the grid yet so that maybe in an hour or so I will triumphantly "find it" and share it with Dom. So ya, that everything happening so far in the life and times of Jordan Pines. I may be on a tribe of assholes, but no fear. I am Jordan Pines. I am King of the Assholes.

Of course I'm in a game with fucking Ace and Jordan Pines. I love when the trash take themselves out!

Dom is so hot  b y e

I take back what I said about Jordan Pines. He actually isn't that bad so far, and I guess there's an unspoken alliance between myself, Julia, Jordan, and Sarah. I like this foursome and I also really like Bernel, too. Nicole on the other hand... girl...... I don't know what it is about her but I just can't trust her for the life of me. Bernel and Nicole are close outside of this so my prediction is that they'll stick around unless one of them goes home soon. Hopefully we don't go to tribal anytime soon though because I don't want the risk of me going out premerge AGAIN to ever come to fruition. On the other hand, Nicole needs to go now versus later because she's made the merge before and she's gotten to the finals twice. No offense but I don't need this to be a three-peat. Dom is the only newbie that I've talked to since the game has begun, and although I know Lexi and Casey outside of this, I feel like he's closer to me than I am with them already. He's a really cool dude and I get the feeling that everyone else agrees with me. He is really charming and flirtatious and it's like... woah calm down there but I think it's just his way of proving that he isn't a "villain". He talks about doing really well in ORGs so if this is his strategy, it seems to have worked for everyone else so far. Anyways Dom just revealed that he hates Kait and I won't stand for this slander >:( 

Okay so I made a video confessional but it's uploading, so I will link to it below and then talk about it. 

 https://youtu.be/2ZQ1iepS3IY 

 After I recorded this, I went and talked to Casey. She told me she's in a tight foursome right now and that they're all voting together tomorrow, which means that I was probably wrong about what I thought. I don't know who the four could be but it's evident that Dom has something to do with it, and she later confirmed those suspicions. He's in complete control of that ugly ass tribe and that SCREAMS danger to me. I need to alert people to that soon because if he got the idol clue like I'm suspecting, then that's even more dangerous. I tried to tip Casey off to this, but I don't think she trusts me enough with that information so I let it go. I need to not make myself blatant about who I'm after this early on in the game, so pretty much that entire video I just recorded? Pointless. I think a good move is to just kiss up to Dom. If he wants to pretend that I'm his boyfriend, then I'll go ahead. Let him think he can control me, I guess... but that's not the truth. I know what's good for me and it isn't him. yikes he's going to be SO MAD when these confessionals come out and he sees that this is what I'm saying about him...sorry man! but ur a threat! :~) Like I said, stick to the plan. Play it safe. Work on relationships with Julia and Nicole as well as tend to relationships with Bernel, Sarah, and Jordan. Focus on Kharab before I start to involve myself in newbie drama... yuck. Dom's still a threat! I just can't be on his bad side this early.

I told Sarah about Dom's idol clue. Because Dom gave me the idol clue. So now it's four people looking for it, and I think Sarah found it...

So the game started and cast was revealed with 4 tribes. I was totally thrown into this last minute but that doesn't mean I'm not going to give my all. However I do already have one regret. I should have created a fake account lmao. I didn't expect people to know who Lexi and I were and now there is already a target on both of our backs because people know that we are dating lol. I'm more concerned for Lexi on her tribe because she's on a tribe with Whitney and Gavin who BOTH know that we date. On top of that I know Whitney is really good friends with her ex so that doesn't help her case at all. However Lexi is a good social player and if anybody can get out of it, it's her. My strategy for now is to lay low. Obviously my number one goal is working with Lexi however I'm still trying to make some settle connections with some people on my tribe. I don't know a lot of people in this game and the ones I do know outside of Lexi are not good friends of mine lol. However I'm hoping that could be used to my advantage because where there are good relationships, there are some bad relationships too. I just need to bank on that and let someone take a strike on someone else. 

Johnny and I are hitting it off quite nicely...Gavin's a bitch talking about my close friend like he won't succeed, and everyone else besides Johnny on my original tribe of 5 sucks at talking. We're fucked 10 minutes in. And baby, I don't have time for that now.

Why in god's name am I a HERO I'm DISGUSTED by that word.

I'M STUCK ON A TRIBE OF AMERICANS SEND HELP.

FLIPPED IT DADDY. I AM N O T A HERO AHAHAH

SUCK ON THAT, STEVEN. 

I AM BACK FOR THE FOURTH TIME!? WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED. I should really start loving myself more but clearly I can't get enough. Clearly I am on the Villains tribe, which I knew was going to happen ...and along with me on the tribe is Jordan Pines, Jaiden, Julia, Bernel and Nicole! Honestly people are probably thinking that I would hate my tribe but I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! I WAS BLESSED!!! I LOVE 3 out of the people on my tribe and with me thats majority and all of those three want to work together with me like...........can we talk about how amazing that is. This twist is so cute because I get to talk to all the villains on the season because we share one beach so yall are going to get first impressions from the people I have talked to last night and today! We did a villains beach call last night and it was super fun btw so im glad im playing again and whew im ready Jordan Pines: We know each other in the community, and we're in Sweden together in our swapped tribe rn so I'm so down to play with him and we get a long gr8 [2017-02-03 5:23:27 PM] Jordan Pines: I'm just dead at this [2017-02-03 5:23:31 PM] Jordan Pines: Same tribe fuxk [2017-02-03 5:30:40 PM] Jordan Pines: Like low key can we have a final 2 here I need to make single digits in a season Julia: I love her so much, we played in Bangladesh together just recently, and yea I voted her off but I'm so excited to see her! Shes also crazy which I love and she wants to work together too! [2017-02-03 5:23:39 PM] Sarah: julia [2017-02-03 5:23:42 PM] Sarah: queen [2017-02-03 7:45:30 PM] julia: WE ARE ON A TRIBE [2017-02-03 7:45:40 PM] julia: This makes me feel so much better [2017-02-03 7:45:57 PM] julia: I'm gon b very loyal 2 u Jaiden: He's hosting me in Atomic Survivor rn, and we've always talked outside of games and always connected. He worries me because he might be a little neurotic ...but hes the puppy of our tribe so ill train him well ;) Nicole:  Shes so pretty! We havent talked yet but she seems so nice i am dead. Bernel: We have barely talked but Jp,Jaiden and Julia all like him...so thats good and bad at the same time that hes so well liked...so ill just keep talking to him I guess :) Dom: The ONLY newbie that came on the villains beach call yesterday and hes so cute I really like him and I can see him and I working together if the cards allign! Thats basically it but I saw that Kendall, and Karen are on the heroes tribe and they're both from the rogues tribe from r&r and so was I so basically idk how thats gonna go over with them but I would be down to work with both of them if we all three make swap/merge.

Of all the Wiki players, you picked Aidan, Johnny, and Liam. I'm disappointed in you hosts... c'mon now. Anyway, everyone seems cool ^___^ Karen seems to know Kendall which puts me on edge, but let's hope for the best!

IN ADDITION TO THE WIKI PEOPLE, WE HAVE AAO PEOPLE... AND THEY DECIDED TO CAST A COUPLE?! https://www.facebook.com/ruben.colon.182 LEXI AND RUBEN ARE DATING AND IN THE SAME GAME. OH.MY.GOSH. HOW IS THIS A THING Also, Alex and I seem to already getting close :) I love everyone on this tribe except for Karen and Ace, thus far ^__^

First impressions: Alex - Trustworthy in the short term; extremely social Karen - Slimy; messy; manipulative Kendall - Outgoing; convincing Ace - Reserved; furry (?) Ashley - Trustworthy; cutthroat

Ashley hates Karen Karen hates Ashley and Ace Kendall is hitched to Karen Karen is hitched to Kendall but very very badly trying to make it seem like Alex and Kendall are tight, and it would be a good idea to ally with the that pair (given that Karen and I are now a pair?) All in all, I trust Alex the most. I don't want to share with anyone the info everyone is feeding to me because I may get Cesternino'ed out of the game (aka, everyone teams up on the person who is playing the middle). I'd love to see every self implode as I facilitate the implosion! Ace also loves the fact that I love his furry fandom! But... he's lowkey freaking me out >,>

Just got off call with Alex, and this is where I see the game as it stands at the moment: Kendall and Karen are a duo, but Kendall's social game puts Alex at ease. That puts me in a compromising position, as I want to keep Alex safe but take out Kendall. At the same time, I've worked to solidify a bond with Ashley and pulled strings behind the scenes to ensure Ashley trusts Alex and Alex trusts Ashley (ensuring that Alex won't vote Ashley out). Ace and Karen are also on good terms with me, with Karen and I having formally called it an "alliance." I have been added into "The Cult Alliance," consisting of Karen, Alex, and *shivers* Kendall... but the main takeaway from all of that is the fact that I was last added. It is clear as day that I cannot trust Kendall in the long-term, and as such, I would like to take her out... but that's tricky business with Alex trusting her so much. I feel safe going into the first tribal (that is, if we lose immunity), and as it stands right now, here is who I trust from most to least: 1. Alex 2. Ashley 3. Karen 4. Ace 5. Kendall 6. Bran

This group is great. I'm in love with everyone on this team. They're all fantastic human beings. I clicked with Gavin immediately, and I knew Kendall/Karen already. We're in a group called The Cult, and it couldn't be any better. I just feel really comfortable with all of them.

Let me make something completely clear, I dislike old people. Well, not all old people, some can be really nice or funny, they don't even need a leathery face or scurrilous for me to consider them old. When person is considered old, in my opinion, when they don't stop saying shit like 'back in my day'. Whether they are 99 or 32, the moment they say "back in my day" they earn the title of old person. Now most of you may be wondering "Kendall what the fuck? What does this have to do with India?" Some of you have already accepted I'm spaz who never really gets to the point. My reasoning for this non sequitur is because I want you to understand, how bad doing this challenge has come to. Because back in my day, when we did the scavenger hunt we were competing against robots and they did all the fucking categories before the deadline. Like seriously, aren't heroes supposed to be hard working or some shit like that? Even more evidence that the tribes were picked by a hat draw. :P Technically speaking, as of now three people are doing the scavenger hunt; Alex (who only put down one), Gavin (who put down two but still got a considerable amount of points), and me (who did a lot of shit, mostly pertaining to making an ass of myself on camera). I don't doubt  that the others will eventually get shit done but I'm worried they will be too late and we will be beaten by robots... Again! I mean if we do lose, I have the argument I did more than everyone. Though, I'd try to say it in a less cunty way. Emphasis on try because I am basically a child who doesn't understand basic communication. 

Alright so I am a flop and have not made one of these yet... oops. So to start off, I like my tribe a lot, I seem to have a lot in common with the other hero returnees. I really like Gavin, and he has said to me that he would like to be able to work with me throughout the game and I am like hell yes. Alex likes me, which is nice, Gavin told me so, haha. Gavin just says that Alex wants to talk to me more so I will get on that. I don't really get a good vibe from Karen, idk. It could be that I like just voted her out of a game and idk if she will hold that against me so I guess we will see. Haven't really talked to Kendall, oops. Ace seems really cool, he has a lot of doggos and I am in love with all of them. Oh also I found an idol already. There hasn't even been a tribal yet and I have an idol. I got my tribe the most points in the scavenger hunt and got a clue for a reward. I found the place where we had to search for idols and found one on the first try. There was like a bunch of blocks and I had to choose one and I found an idol on the first shot. Like what am I? A goddess.

Okay so here is my first confessional and I guess I’m supposed to talk about the tribe and people. Well, they all suck and I hate them for not being able to stick with a decision. I like Ruben but Jaiden is telling me that everyone thinks we’re a couple which isn’t true at all. If I get voted out over a lie THAT stupid, I will never play again with these weirdos or come back to these games. Dumbasses! I did the second most things in the challenge and if they really love losing then might as well vote me out! Dom is such a snake, he talks to everyone and then doesn’t give any information out. Sorry but who do YOU think you are? I’m not bowing down to your feet. I talked to Aidan and told him people were saying that he was the target and then he took FOREVER to reply as if he was asking people what to say to me. Sorry for being honest and trying to save you? If you want to leave, BE MY GUEST. Then we have our all around useless tribe member Monte trying to go around and be annoying when they couldn’t even do the fucking challenge. Sorry but your ass doesn’t get a say, sit down, shut up and listen to what we want you to do. I wanted their ass to go this tribal. They’re literally useless; not good at challenges, didn’t talk to anyone until today, and is most likely aligned with the other people who played Agrabah on the returnee villains. I have no idea why they would tell me they played that game when there’s so many of them here. Casey has not been online all day and from her last night I heard Aidan, but she took so long to reply, I fell asleep. She was like “lol Aidan is the vote!” and then I asked this morning if anyone else agreed… she gave her patented short reply! “Everyone agreed” My paranoia is obviously taking over and maybe I’m fine but the way these people are acting, it seems as if I’m being voted out. Ruben thinks “oh no, we’re ALL good” and that more than one person couldn’t POSSIBLY lie to us. LMAO Give me a break. Aidan pretending to talk to Monte and then Monte saying that they never talked???????? Wonder why! Monte is either lying to cover their ass for playing all sides and Aidan is going or they are all voting me. Casey won’t get online Ruben is too optimistic Aidan is a big fat liar Monte is fake Dom… thinks he runs the tribe Watch me not even get voted out and look like an insane person, which I mean, I am? Aidan is getting voted out according to everyone and he’s acting so suspicious and doesn’t want to do anything about it. I have so much more to say but I’m just going to hope for the best that I’m still around and try to get it in for the next confessional.  I’m forgetting so much but it’s time! I’ll have conversation screenshots for next time hopefully to show you how everyone is acting like a lunatic. Me, included. I can’t wait to go next tribal for acting like a psychotic person this time. I hate myself so much.. I had so much more in this before I accidentally deleted it but oh wells.

I am so excited about this! I have never played before and I'm glad to be representing the heroes. I talked to most people on my tribe and they all seem really cool. Lexi and Steven have given me the best vibes so far. I'm hoping I can get some sort of partnership or I think it's alliance that it's called on survivor. This cast is so big it's overwhelming! I'm skeptical about being on a heroes chat. I'm assuming there will be some twists associated with that. I'm going to try to talk to the veteran heroes just in case later tonight. I hope I can do well in the upcoming challenge! Time to go back to socializing

I'm getting really good vibes from my tribe. Everyone is great. I think we're a special group and I hope we can make it far. I feel like I've connected most with Steven so far. He's played orgs before and has been helping explain the kinds of challenges there are. He's been overall very helpful and I really appreciate the fact that he's reaching out to me. I would be completely loyal to him so I hope he trusts me too. Ideally, I want to form an alliance with Lexi and Steven. I'm not sure how close they are but i'm hoping they approach me about it. Also the weird guy...I forgot his name. He's "Poteet" on skype. he's nice. i talk to him occasionally and he's contributed a lot to the challenge. Whitney's been a little inactive. I'm not sure if she's just not been talking to me or it's with everyone else but Lexi said she didnt say much to her either. She did the bollywood dance for the challenge though so she's still being a team player. I think if we lost immunity Liam would get voted off. He hasnt been talking in the tribe chat or to me and Lexi. I'm pretty sure he has not done anything for the challenge either. It's nice to have someone inactive in the beginning. It makes me feel more comfortable going into tribal council. Well, that's all for now. I'll probably make another one of these after immunity results!

okay so im sad we lost immunity. this is my first game and im going to tribal on the first night, yikes! so last night i talked to steven, johnny, and lexi. it seemed like we were all on the same page of voting out liam for his inactivity. this morning, though, johnny and liam informed me that they want to get rid of lexi because apparently her boyfriend is on the villains tribe. i'm stuck because i really like lexi and i promised her i would not vote her out but johnny and liam are making this out to be a very dangerous connection. i'm not too convinced that lexi should leave because of this. if anything, this will help us at merge or a tribe swap. we could get her boyfriend to vote with us. the concept of getting rid of a premade (new term i learned today!) this early doesn't seem too effective since we're all still trying to get to know each other. it'd be great to keep them once we're at merge because they'd be easy targets. I have a feeling liam and johnny are close allies and that's why they're starting this. i'm definitely voting for liam and i will go out of my way to make sure lexi stays. i need to keep the girl numbers up!

this tribal council is going to be so messy. i am pretty sure we're going to rocks. basically, i'm going to be deciding whether lexi leaves or the vote ties. i feel like such a villain because i've been lying to whitney and johnny saying i'll vote for lexi. but i cant vote for her. i promised i wouldnt do it. i guess essentially im being heroic by sticking to what i said first? im not sure. this will be a night none of the viewers want to miss. steven and i are determine not to switch our votes.

Why are Johnny and Whitney like this.....Steven and I locked in our votes first and I thought they would be smart enough not to take the risk of going to rocks. Looks like everyone on this beach is out of their mind. The rock draw will determine who the next two targets are. I'm really hoping Johnny leaves. He's great at challenges but he can be very sneaky and I don't want him as my enemy. I hope this doesn't end up being my last confessional.

ok so these people are already a little nerdy. The only person i'm enjoying right now is Robin k. She or he idk which is really nice and were into the same shows it seems. I dont know how i ended up on a hero tribe lmao but ill take it. Ruben my boyfriend is on the villians tribe and i already got called out by gavin for it. I'm not going to hide it but not going to tell people either. I have to make a tumblr since i didnt already have one. Also this person johnny is talking about dungeons and dragons. I dont think im going to do well lol. Ok thats all for now.

[allthatwehear]

unsent letters, pt. 1

August 23rd, 2018

Goodmornin’, lil’ cutie! You are currently sitting at the table with your bday sis, Jugie, listening to some new John Meyer (cause its calm, you know both mom and her like Johnny, and eh why not. You don’t really like silence, plus music tends to make Jugie kind of happier and more connected. “Battle Studies”, good album!)

Last night in an effort to help you sleep—because, you have been having trouble. Mind you, it is August. Months from when you last wrote an entry. Here is what’s changed: you met Ethan. Yes, Ethan Carlson, the tall, (6”2) blonde, football/sport enthusiast, charming, basically southern-accented boy. He is Susy Snyder’s boyfriend’s bestfriend, and your first date was at a Rockies game. That date went, well, way better than expected—and afterwards, you kind of both were like, well, shoot. We like each other. And thus you continued dating! All summer! Like a dingus, dumbass, whatever—and now you’re heart is hurt! Because in the heat of the moment, the flurried, fluttering hearts and whatever goes on in boy’s heads maybe when they’re just meeting a girl, he told me a few promising things of “when are your break’s from school?” and “oh, you’re in Mead! I’ll come up to see you when I’m in Fort Collins—” long story short, I need to get over this stupid boy. Need. To. It is driving me CRAZY. And, you have decided to go back to SPU. I don’t really want to expand on this too much—but baby, remember, no college is ever going to feel exactly right. Maybe to some people it does, on the off chance, but I really think that is supposed to be your home. Give it another chance, honey bee.

Okay, couldn’t sleep, let’s continue. What pops into my head but, ah, a podcast! This was a GOOD podcast; I’m excited to listen to more actually! “Reclaim Your Baggage” by Natalie Lue. There is literally a 100 part series to this podcast, I was blown away when I stared at my screen, bleary-eyed from melatonin. Anyway, she had some advice—lots of advice. One of them is a pretty big one, and you might have to take a few days, a few weeks and months, to really dive into this, if I commit.

The practice of writing unsent letters. Yes, maybe it sounds grudging, vengeful—at least, that’s what I thought when I first heard it, staring up at my dark ceiling. I imagine I was probably making a frowning face to really concentrate on what the speaker was saying. Unsent letters—I’ve written a few of those, but mostly to God, or my passed sister. And the emphasis wasn’t on if you were writing them to actually be sent—more of, to discover what baggage you were actually holding onto, on what people. I’ll have to listen again, because I think I’m butchering the much more sensical and poetic way she described this. But, I thought I would absolutely give it a go; it’s going to tell me what burdens I’m holding on that I can’t control. What I’m mad about but can’t help with. Because they aren’t my problems to solve, so what am I holding onto.

Dear Dad,

You have been one of my best friends since ever coming to this earth. I love your big, (hairy) strong arms, that always hoisted me higher than I expected as a kid, tumbled me to my bed, and “beat me up”. You always make me laugh; in fact, out of our family, maybe a close tie with mom—you still win, you make me laugh

the most

. However, though I love your big goofiness, like, you are an incredibly tall, silly, laughy, obnoxious teenage boy sometimes—maybe your mind back then was stuck too much in immaturity, as well. I think of the things you’ve done to mom. Sometimes things in my life are too hard to deal with that I kind of pretend they don’t happen, or I frankly don’t let my mind think about that that might’ve happened and I cut off people when they bring it up. I shut down and tune it out because my hero, the person who I sometimes feel is the most like me and kind of sane—probably, did actually, cheat on my mom when I was a kid. Did smoke pot, did have beer always on his breath as he angrily bitched about Maddie and I’s toy horses littering the floors (where we had thick plots and their placements were actually kind of important,) around his basement tv area. You were unkind to my sisters; a fact that I never witnessed for myself. You have a lot of issues. And they did happen. And you did hurt my mom, and you did lie to her for years, and you did throw away your faith that I’m not even convinced you fully had, since it seemed you only went to church for mom, and us. Even then you were

never

a convincing, happy person to go about that. You are selfish, and you had eyes mostly for sports. Sports, have a negative connotation for us. Your priority? Get home in time to watch football. Our quality time spent with you? Centered around movies, the tv, maybe spongebob. At least that was funny and a cartoon—that was better. I know you had the most difficult life; that is why I can still see you, and I love you. But sometimes I wonder if I am trying to mask, to myself, the really foul things you did back then, and the messed-up person you are. Because maybe a little of me has put you on a pedestal and I wish you would just stay up there and stop shocking me with things—stop acting like pot is your whole life, stop talking about it around me so much and becoming comfortable with talking about it around us or offering to do it with Julia (okay, frankly pestering her?? You’re so excited she’s into it.) while I’m around or just stop. Just, stop. I despise your pot lifestyle. I do not see it as any kind of life at all. You are a phony. There we go, the root of it all. I think you are a phony and a fake and I do not buy into any of your so proclaimed “changes”. You are sad, and you have had so much hurt in your life, and you are hella self-centered and arrogant and care more about your money and yourself.

[survivornavarino]

Episode #11: I’m Gonna Beat Your Ass In Massachusetts Bitch -Julia

ok im rlly high and i accidentally joined this tirbal drama call and now im in too deep to leave and im crying julia is crackdt

Woo we love plans working out last minute

So I was just made out to be this terrible person and almost got eliminated, and I remembered how terrifying that is to have people upset with you. I don't think I'm gonna try villainy anymore (what just happened wasn't my fault btw even tho I was trying villainy I had nothing to do with this) it's hard to be a villain when you like everyone so I'm gonna stick to my hero stuff

Tesoro Tribe Call

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nq_3DCxuV3g&feature=youtu.be

Daaaammmnn Matt deserved better..... AND SO DID I WHAT THE FUCK https://i.imgur.com/sSWMk6p.gif How am I not supposed to feel some type of way when I get bamboozled by AAAAALLLL these people? 7 DIFFERENT PEOPLE LIED TO ME yet I'm not on the bottom! Gee thanks I can really tell with all this deceit in the air. Like the only person who would've had probable reason to lie is Heather because we don't even talk. The other 6?? I talked to within 2 hours of the vote aka when all this fuckery was going down so that means they actively lied, actively kept me out, and actively don't trust me. Fucking up my game and my villain edit?? Unacceptable- I worked HARD for both of them but now I gotta pop off just to stay alive... like fuck https://media.giphy.com/media/yKibNueqBiqU8/giphy.gif And is Jake serious right now? The amount of dirt I have on him could bury him in a second but he's gonna blindside me, the person with the power to make or break his game. Eddie and I gave him the world and he just flipped like THAT? Inch resting. And the Drew thing isn't even relevant because Jake got a heads up, did actually have a working relationship with Drew, was indeed down for that alliance that didn't come to fruition, AND actually snitched about the Drew vote to Drew so take a fucking seat. It doesn't matter that I wanted him in the dark because I knew he would snitch and spoiler alert: HE DID #noregrets. This would only be the same if I found out about the Matt vote and blew it all up to Matt, yet I didn't and somehow Jake is no different than me. Save it- the difference between us is I actually treat you like an ally and you treat me like a fucking number. But I am somehow supposed to trust Jake when all I do is give Jake more chances to prove he's reliable and trustworthy and he flops. There shouldn't be multiple instances both from this game and Crossroads of you being a shitty ally- that's ugly and well all know it. Jake enjoys screwing me like the selfish manipulator he is and he cost himself real allies over people who throw his name out all day everyday. I can't wait for him to read all this back, know who really had his back, and just how badly he played himself BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT ALLIES DO!!! AND THE FACT THAT YOU KEEP DOING PULLING THIS SHIT MEANS YOURE NOT REALLY WITH ME AND IF YOU KNOW I COULD EXPOSE YOUR ASS WHY ARE YOU TESTING ME?!?! Big mistake https://media.giphy.com/media/ynxEIAfEyXjzO/giphy.gif https://media0.giphy.com/media/11LARa1r9DA4mI/200.gif And Julia really cut me deep because I thought her of all people would actually be honest with me out of respect. She's essentially saying she doesn't trust me with the Matt vote and that's why I got left out yet it's not what it looks like and I shouldn't be mad. But did we or did we not call earlier so we could "talk everything through?" You left a lot out sis, just so you know. MY FAVORITE PART is me and Rebecka calling her out on call as the Mo source but since she got the vote to be Matt and kiss-and-made-up with Mo, it's all good in the hood. Ummm NO IT'S NOT ALL GOOD and fuck this "do you guys have any more questions?" Get that condescending bullshit out of here- how we a pre-made Final 2 and you running blindsides on me? Keep it- Heather can have your allegiance I don't want it. I can't believe I gave these Crossroads snakes a fair shot and this is how they repay me- by making me look like boo boo the fool. That's ok though: Jake, Julia, Heather, Shoib- they all walking into jury next just watch also I recant from before- I love Eddie and he's the only person I actually ride with (besides Rebecka and lowkey Mitch). Like yes he's probably a bad influence and has Dr. Brenner tendencies but at least he's loyal. Everyone else will flip for anyone and anything and I'm like where is your self-respect. All I know is once I get power it's over for these hoes cause they just made enemies with the baddest player out here so let the games begin https://78.media.tumblr.com/e89499d0128508de7390015ff96fcbbf/tumblr_odd64ysiZI1snzc37o1_250.gif

Bamboozled- a memoir 

Ok so last vote I felt like having a little fun since there was no drama and that's boring. Mo came to me and asked me what happened with the Ben vote and I told him that someone told me about a 5 person faves alliance so I panicked and voted out Ben. So the part where I heard about the 5 fave alliance is true BUT I heard it from Jake. I told Mo that Eddie told me about it and I also told Mo that Julia is the one who leaked it to Eddie. So then the vote is between Julia and Mo because Mo starts going around and throwing Julia and Eddie under the bus. Julia gets online and is PISSED OFF, she starts gunning for Mo. Eddie was sitting pretty since he was safe from vote off despite me telling Mo that Eddie leaked to me. Then Julia and Mo make up and turn the vote to Matt and he ends up going home. Out of all the 3 names spread last round none of them were fans names. Now this round we have Eddie and Julia murdering each other and I am just sitting pretty, this is perfection. Eddie and Julia will go for each other til death do them part. This will come back to bite me soon but for now imma enjoy it.

I love Julia but, LOVE BE SAVING MY ASS RN. HER FIGHTING EDDIE IS AMAZING. SORRY HUN

I’m so over this drama, I’m sure somebody else explained what went down in their confessionals but now there was a huge fight between Eddie and Julia. A pineapple gown with glitter on it, bitch? Girl I just can’t take this, it’s too much, gimme my pocketbook I’m leaving.

These kids think I'm floating, that's it I have had it. Time to crank it up a notch

Ok so last vote I felt like having a little fun since there was no drama and that's boring. Mo came to me and asked me what happened with the Ben vote and I told him that someone told me about a 5 person faves alliance so I panicked and voted out Ben. So the part where I heard about the 5 fave alliance is true BUT I heard it from Jake. I told Mo that Eddie told me about it and I also told Mo that Julia is the one who leaked it to Eddie. So then the vote is between Julia and Mo because Mo starts going around and throwing Julia and Eddie under the bus. Julia gets online and is PISSED OFF, she starts gunning for Mo. Eddie was sitting pretty since he was safe from vote off despite me telling Mo that Eddie leaked to me. Then Julia and Mo make up and turn the vote to Matt and he ends up going home. Out of all the 3 names spread last round none of them were fans names. Now this round we have Eddie and Julia murdering each other and I am just sitting pretty, this is perfection. Eddie and Julia will go for each other til death do them part. This will come back to bite me soon but for now imma enjoy it.

i just love to start drama

so julia called me after the mo vote explaining that the whole eddie vs julia fight started with jake shit talking eddie. now i got them on call and hopefully they can work things through because i want them both to target eddie over each other so WOOOO let's see what happens. love you amanda lynn

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME THE ENERGY AND STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER DAY IN THIS GAME WITH JAKE AND JULIA I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED!!! ALL THEY DO IS LIE, TIPTOE AROUND TORCHING MY GAME, AND SPREAD FUCKING CHAOS AROUND CAMP AND I HATE IT. I'm at work? Julia and Jake are stirring the pot. I'm on my lunch break? Julia and and Jake are stirring the pot. I'm out with my family and using my 8% of phone battery to do a mastermind challenge for Atomic? Too bad because Julia and Jake are stirring the pot. I tried to take a fucking nap today and you know what happened? IT GOT INTERRUPTED BY EDDIE CALLING ME TO TELL ME THAT YEP YOU GUESSED IT: JULIA AND JAKE ARE STILL STIRRING THE POT. CAN I FUCKING BREATHE AND OPT OUT OF THESE JULIA AND JAKE NOTIFICATIONS THAT I NEVER ASKED FOR??!? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST https://78.media.tumblr.com/2ff5849875cf45c8711b1b55220c4adb/tumblr_inline_oqvdwiJ7vP1qmpins_540.gif FUN FACT: SNAKES SLEEP BUT YOU CAN'T TELL BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE EYELIDS! WHY DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR??? OH RIGHT! BECAUSE THERE ARE SNAKES IN THIS GAME WHO LOOK LIKE THEY'RE ASLEEP CAUSE THEY AINT RESPONDING TO ME BUT DON'T WORRY! THEY'RE AWAKE THEY'RE JUST ON CALL IN PMS STILL SERVING FRESH TEA AT 2:04 IN THE MORNING ON A FUCKING WEEKDAY SO MY PARANOID ALLY WONT GO TO BED AND APPARENTLY THAT MEANS NEITHER CAN I AND IM SICK OF IT DAMMIT https://media1.tenor.com/images/9ce8330ea91f82d27ef3ceefbb69f277/tenor.gif?itemid=5307285

ok this is for julia post game. listen BITCH. i only leaked what you said to eddie twice (i think) well two major times so stop thinking that i’m a snake who leaked everything you said like YOU did to me with Ned in Crossroads. i told eddie you told me about your alliance with Rebecka/Matt but that wasn’t to put a target on you, Eddie did that by coming up with the idea to tell Matt you leaked it. Also I told Eddie that you said he was a snake in games and fucked over his friends because I wanted to know the truth. So yeah. I recorded a video confessional that i’ll post soon.

ok so i pulled out my macbook and im sittin here like xoxo gossip beckka.  so heres the gossip!!!!!!!: a. i have no fucking clue how i won touchy subjects and im thankful for immunity but now it makes me look like i know what the fuck is going on in the game and i DONT i really really DONT!!!! much spook very scare. b. i missed a lot of the drama this round. like really im so confusion.  i accidentally answered the call the other night right after tribal and then had to stay but i was too high so i said see ya later pals!! and went to sleep.  Then yesterday at work the main chat was blowing up and i didnt have the energy, patience, or phone battery to keep up with it.  Now this morning im in my alliance chat with eddie and autumn and theyre like referencing "what happened last night" and im like fuck i went to bed at 9:30 right after cash show like FUCK why am i always high or sleeping???? i should talk to my therapist about that tbh.   c. eddie comes to us with this mastermind plan that we need to get out not jake, not julia, but SHOIB.  what has shoib done? where are these numbers coming from?  how is that not going to come back to haunt us next round? d. ive goat a bad feeling about tonight.  instant tribal? fuck.  i was prepared for it to be a physical endurance comp when amanda asked if we'd all be around with a computer bc i know i can probably win that but its not on cam so FUCK ME RIGHT????? e. im rlly tired f. when i get voted out and put in jury im going to respond purely in cortana suggestions for a day or so and not tell anyone and see if anyone notices g. ok thats it for now tata, cya later alligator, hasta la pasta & all that jazzy stuff bye!!! xoxo gossip beckka

update 5 mins later: eddies heart is telling him he cant vote jake. autumn and i rlly picked the wrong ally huh 

also i miss matt double also i wish heather left instead of ben 

Update: 5 hours before tribal and Jake rlly be coming to me spilling cold dollar store tea with a broken tea bag and there's just gross, cold,  loose leaves floating around 

I just wanna win man, send em all home.

happy to be immune bc the chances that we're going to rocks I'll put at like 70% hehe 

i literally don’t even know how to process what the fuck is happening shit changed every 2 seconds i’m so confused ok so basically i helped flip the vote on matt last round because julia started to think that mo was being used and i knew that matt might have the idol bc eddie told me he probably did so i did that but left eddie and autumn out of the vote obv eddie was wicked mad and started going off on in the main chat and julia suspected that i leaked stuff to him based on what he was saying last night trixie called me and told me that julia was saying that i was a snake so we all called her and she said that eddie threw me under the bus to her and was leaking everything i told him about julia so i admitted it i was upset so i basically confronted eddie and he told me that he never leaked anything to julia and that she actually exposed me etc so i got pissed the fuck off and told eddie autumn rebecka trixie shoib that i wanted julia out julia gets home and immediately confronts me so i know someone leaked and trixie told me she was pretty sure that autumn or rebecka leaked and i don’t think trixie wanted me and julia against each other so we called our chat and i got julia to admit that autumn was leaking stuff to her and telling her that i wanted to vote julia out and that autumn wanted me out and autumn said that all the boys wantrd her out so now i’m fuckign freaking OUT BECAUSE AUTUMN IS A SNAKE AND PLAYING ALL SIDES AND JOW IT SEEMS THAT PPL WANT AUTUMN IUT I OFJT KNOW WHAT THE FICKNTO DO JM LITERALKY FREAKJNG OUT OMG FJQJSJDNSNSBS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPNING THIS GAME IS LITERALLY CRAZY

I am very upset rn. I have had the hardest time just trying to survive this merge because everyone is againts me. I first have jake throwing me under the bus to eddie. FOR WHAT JAKE. i am still furious about it because he legit had NO right to do me like that. Like NONE. So ive been calling him back and forth but there is apparently a bigger snake in the game. Hi autumn! She wants to lie and say the boys all want me gone. She only did that to ensure heather and i were left out of the vote. How fucking low of her. I deadass opened up to her and Eddie, and I get done like this. Its a Shame truly. Anyways, i have to now worry about surviving yet AGAIN, and to get autumn voted out.

Im at work and i think autumn will officially be out of season! 

My mood is Julia and Heather selling me out on International Women's Day as the Julia leak to be with power snake Jake and ugly ass Shoib but doing it in front of Eddie, who told me immediately, so not only am I staying but one of these antifeminist hoes is getting rocked out. Can we talk about that I KNOW Heather and Julia are full of shit so how has no one thought that maybe I forced all this?? Like they wanna clock me for playing the middle but the gag is I'm about to chop the tribe in half and there will be no middle as of 9 PM EST. Me still surviving the strategic mess I accidentally created? More likely that you think- legends never die. I was scared about tribal, sure! And then I remembered who I am so I'm  excited for this messy ass 5-5 vote and why wouldn't I be? I now have 4 strong allies in the other faves, Mitch is turning on Shoib, Eddie is going against Jake, I found the right people who can keep a secret and have my back, and a line is being drawn in the sand tonight. Jake and Julia ain't going to rocks over no damn Shoib and I surely will call their bluff. The snakes are working hard but I'm working harder https://78.media.tumblr.com/4d981ac983bcb46cbba1ef0358d4b27d/tumblr_oq0f7ahXLt1qb87xmo5_r1_250.gif I can't believe Jake and Julia have the audacity to make an enemy out of me THIS EARLY. They thinking about Crossroads when they need to studying All Stars and Himalayas cause Crossroads was the exception in my org career not the rule. I'd like to politely remind everyone that my brand is flipping votes, poisoning jury, forcing ties, and getting shit done. So the way I see it is I'm just getting started- I have enough votes to stay by forcing a power play and I'm blowing this whole tribe up. I cannot wait for Jake and Julia to see who they're dealing with and shut the fuck up for the first time all week. And don't let me win immunity cause it's REALLY a wrap. Timing is everything in this game and I simply don't believe tonight is my time. It is time to take the trash out though and I got my gloves on and my Lysol ready https://78.media.tumblr.com/f28b1221360a1842c17d4a5af90fe6ec/tumblr_op2o8k2P9u1slyfzno1_250.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pt_dZVzZUXc&feature=youtu.be

SHIT WERE AT TRIBAL AND I FORGOT THIS KSNFLSDNFSDKF WERE GOING TO ROCKS I HAVE BURGERS AAAAAAa

[ts-crossroads]

Episode Eight - “Get Your Head Out of the Gutter, And Maybe Get A Brain” - Bryan

holy mother of everything good in this world i cannot believe we just pulled that off and im still probably in the clear

WHAT THE FUCK!!! Ok then. So Dane is telling me that Ned was just too big of a threat. But I’m so fucking pissed still. Whatever. I’m on a 4-6 minority with me Sam and Jake. However I hope Dane is willing to flip back. But I’d still need one more...dang it. I got work to do.

My hands r so dirty rn like BITCH LOLLL. Im actually terrible. Ned could have stayed if I voted with them. Too bad he had to be fake! Sorry not Sorry! Basically that shit wouldn't have happened if Rebecka and I didn't think it needed to. And Jake and Bryan are blaming DANE AND JOHN LOL THIS IS PERFECT. I'm actually DYINGGGG LMAOOO. 

fuck john fucking liar i fucking saved his ucking ass twice and this is how he repays me fuck out of here i can’t deal with these bitches everyone who voted out ned SUCKS AND I PUT SO MUCH TRUST INTO JOHN IM LITERALLY THE REASON WHY HE MADE IT TO MERGE AND HE CANT EVEN BE LOYAL FOR ONE FUCKING ROUND 

6-5 i was SHAKING during the tribal. i owe rebecka and julia m'life. i talked to sam/ned/autumn/jake more than i talked to rebecka and julia so im shocked they were the ones to save me??? as a previous winner im gonna be a loyal hoe to those who kept me. and autumn at least gave me the heads up that i was probably leaving, and it sucked i couldn't let her know i had a plan to save myself. like she was telling me "talk to ned, rebecka, haley and we can do something" and i already did that minus ned. i loved ned sm. i hate that this happened. but like he and sam were willing to turn on haley and i SO fast. i don't like that... also haley told john and i that she and chris were dating and LOL that makes so much sense it did'nt shock me. i'm glad i always talked good about haley to chris and vise versa.

I am so emotional and not ready to write this confessional. First it started with me fucking up. I thought I could trust Dane but I couldn’t. I knew Autumn wasn't with us but I didn’t think we would lose 2 impala to the other side. Then I fucked up more by telling Ned that we are safe and not to play an idol. I gave him my idol half which he then gave back to me and then told me he had a whole idol. He asked me several times if he should play it and I said no every time because I trusted everyone. I truly let Ned down and I don't know how I am going to go through this game without him. He was the 1 person I trusted with my entire game and now he's gone. I sound so dramatic but whatever, I lost my final 2. I can have all the feelings I want. I just don't know what to do now regarding who to work with. I also hate myself more bc I had tribal in another game immediately afterwards, and Ned was in this game with me. Anyway, Ned got 4 votes, I got 3. He had a super idol, which he could have played on himself after votes were read, and he made an announcement that he wasn't playing it because I deserve to be there more than him. I literally cried so much. Ned went home in 2 games back to back because of me. I fucked up the first tribal and he went home with an idol in his pocket and he gave up his game for me the second tribal. I know that this is going to be a relationship that I cherish for a long time. I truly care for him so deeply and it goes deeper than any game ever could. If I get nothing else out of this game, at least I got to form this beautiful and magical friendship with Ned. I can figure out the rest of this game tomorrow.

Me after getting blindsided in two different Survivor orgs within five minutes of each other https://twitter.com/ricardojkay/status/945781023006105600 Owen lucky Ned gave me a pep talk on his way out cause this is some bullshit and I sure was about to cut my losses and walk #yalldontdeserveme

 Well I went from everyone having to split the votes Ryan and I which would of led me to go home. I got everyone to switch that didn't want to put Ryan or my name down which was Julia,John,Rebecka,Ryan, and Dane. It definitely shows that they all can be trusted since Ned was the one that left last night. Bryan is still targeting me for the whole Emily vote which is bullshit that vote was forever ago and why would we tell the person that invited her to tribal it was going to be her and then have Bryan go back and tell Emily. I hope all the campaigning Bryan did to work against me just showed him who really has the numbers. I'm now going to make sure if Bryan doesn't get immunity again that he goes next. 

Ok so I really don't know who to trust at this point. I miss Ned soooo much. A lot of people from the other side have come to me to clear the air, but I really don't see a way to recover from this. Yesterday was an actual mess. Julia was lowkey bullying Bryan in the merge chat. I say lowkey, because it wasn't personal, it was game related, but it was extreme overkill. Bryan had said "ok thats fine" and "I see what I did wrong, I learned from my mistakes" etc and she continued to say things like "now go shit talk me more, I know you will" and it was just really rude. And Haley cheering her on in the background definitely amplified the situation to make Bryan feel worse. I feel like the only people I can trust are Bryan, Autumn, and Jake. It's hard though, because I know Bryan is a threat who needs to go. Autumn rarely talks to me. And I recently got close to Jake, so I know he has been working with Bryan a lot longer and would choose him over me in a heart beat. Dane seems to think that him flipping to vote out Ned wasn't "picking sides" and now everyone can be on a more even playing field. At least that's what he told me. He also doesn't want to think of them as "sides," he wants to vote out Bryan next. If there are sides and I vote out Bryan, It's literally going to be down to 3 vs 6, with me in the minority. As much as I love and miss Ned, I don't want to be in that jury. I want to be at FTC with Ned rooting for me the whole time. I also don't know how to feel right now. I'm conflicted, because everyone is telling me shady/sketchy things about Ned and reassuring me that it is best he is gone because he was untrustworthy, but I really don't think I believe it. Like I know Ned is such an honest and genuine person, I really can't see him playing me like that. And of course everyone will try to justify voting him out to me, it was so obvious we were a f2, we had never separated the ENTIRE game. Literally day 1 we were on impala and stayed there. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm upset that Haley and Dane won reward, it seems like the worst people to have won. Hopefully it doesn't help them in immunity. I really want to win. I'm scared though that if I do, Bryan will leave. A lot of people are upset about how he acted last round when he was immune. I don't know how I feel, I really just need to see how the next day goes. ALSO Dane getting under 5 minutes in that maze seems toooooo good. Like I did it as fast as I could and couldn't even finish half of it in that time. It seems very impossible. 

Errybody and they mama has been in my pm's explaining themselves and I'm like lmao ok but you're still cancelled. I have a heart though so I (probably) won't come for the apologizers first on the hitlist. DID SOMEBODY SAY HITLIST?!?! Yep it's about that time/ I'm back doing what I do best https://78.media.tumblr.com/b6fa3f3b282c7314c79578a6599d56b3/tumblr_n49f6q9bH11rsrbdko1_500.gif Also shoutout to everyone who believes in me. Thank you and sorry if I scared you I was like eyeball deep in my feelings after that vote (and Athena All Stars but we won't get into). I am NOT walking because there's too much justice that needs to be served

NED!!!! If Chris was my Beth, you were my Glenn cause you're so positive and hero-like aaaaannnd because I was a wreck when you died lol. Is it bad that I couldn't stop crying? http://cimg.tvgcdn.net/i/2016/12/15/b1aca255-c49f-4f8f-be1f-853d48cd3f55/maggie.gif I really hadn't seen the vote until you asked if I flipped. Then I went to watch the rest of the tribal video and started sobbing. Did I flip? Absolutely not and if I hadn't left the call, Crossroads would have my reaction to prove it. Whew if I had seen that shit live... look I'm an ugly crier and Crossroads can only exploit what I give it lmao. Anyway we spent half the game trying to make it back to each other only for you to die 5 minutes later and that suuucks rip. THANKS JULIA! YEP YOU HEARD RIGHT SIS IS NEGAN!!! Under all the humor and cute pro pics... tragic. Bryan only killing Chris and not you? Never judge a book by its cover haha. Anyway I hate this happened to you because you deserved so much better and I hope you're in a better place in jury. Imperium is in shambles- Scrappy is out here squaring up in people's pm's, Velma has gone awol, and Scooby is in the doghouse since everyone knows he has fleas. Idk what's about to happen but you're right everyone is a snake. Ok I should go I have a lot to do if I'm gonna make it to the end because #owensucks #crossroadsisugly Thank you for like playing this whack game and believing in me when I didn't believe in myself @ everyone else: https://78.media.tumblr.com/a661740fa7785ef674d1c8ef7971f4f9/tumblr_myzplpOrQ51ql5yr7o1_500.gif NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL STOP ME FROM BEING PETTY AND SENDING YOUR ASSES TO JURY SO SAVE YOUR BREATH!!! Do you need to explain yourself? Absolutely. Will it make a difference? NOPE. If you gave a fuck about me you wouldn't have lied in the first place. Also everything you say to me can and will be used against you so y'all really need to chill. I mean it- stop checking in like we're good because you will not know the answer to that until the game ends. Thinking that we're friends doesn't make it true. But you know what is true? I will send every single one of you to jury and I cannot fucking wait

I wish Jake would send things in one or two messages and not seven or eight 

OKAY So hours before the last tribal I wanted to vote out Jake because he's lodged up Bryan's ass. However, the only person that Ryan could get enough people to target was Ned due to the amount of people that he pissed off. So honestly between Ned or Ryan to stay? I think it's pretty obvious for me to know what's better for my game. :) After the tribal council however Bryan immediately called me and started yelling at me and demanding he knows what my strategy is moving forward in the game, but I wasn't going to give it away, so now I'm playing the role of the dumb sheep and I'm starting to make people believe that I'm not worth it to vote out at the moment. Anyways! After that call I thought I would give Bryan the benefit of the doubt and I just assumed that the tribal council would be a wake up call for his attitude, but nothing changed! He immediately ran his rat ass to Ryan and started talking shit about me so now I'm pissed at Bryan again. Now here we are again hours before the tribal council again and it's a shit show because from my point of view I think the votes are going to fall between Bryan and Julia.... maybe. Julia and Bryan had a "fight" in the main chat but I honestly believe it to be fake and I think Julia flipped back to Bryan and my paranoid ass is starting to believe that they're going to conspire against me and vote me out. BUT! I do think that my social standings with Sam would help me get past this vote. With that being said though I may have to abuse Sam's kindness to further myself into the rest of the game. I was thinking with Ryan and if we get Haley on board we can vote 3 votes onto Autumn or Sam (wildcards atm) and in the case that Bryan plays his idol (BTW I FORGOT TO SAY I FOUND AN IDOL RIGHT BEFORE TRIBAL LAST ROUND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAMA) we can play one of our idols and get out Sam or Autumn. However, if we do that then we isolate ourselves as a 3 which is why Bryan, Jake, and John were targeted in the first place for.  This tribal council is going to be just as messy as the last one and I'm terrified and I don't want to waste my idol if people are telling the truth and isolate myself, but I don't want to go home with an idol in my pocket. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j4Xsc4Y0tbk

This round has just been a clusterfuck. After the Ned blindside I called John and found out that Julia was lying to my face and voted Ned which pissed me off so I exposed Julia shit talking John to me to John. After the call with John I told Bryan, Sam, and Autumn about Julia lying to us and I connected with Autumn finally. Bryan of course went and told everyone about Julia so Julia blew up on him in the main chat, gr8. Anyways I'm shook because I won the immunity and I really feel like I needed it this round for the potential of people voting me. Of course people were targetting Bryan and this twist could have changed things up, but John and Dane are too scared to make a move and there's no way we can vote Julia out this round which sucks. Idk what else to do, I tried. I just have to hope that things change soon or I'll be picked off. 

Sam pissed me off tonight. I was considering to flip to get Julia out but then after talking to her and Bryan I realise that this bottom four is getting closer. Sam and Bryan both mentioned they trusted each other. They lie for each other. I called Sam because I wanted to talk about voting Julia out the round after Bryan leaves and then when I tell her Dane & I are not flipping she goes from this happy girl with a happy voice to this sad girl and we sit in silence. Like... she was sad I wasn't flipping... like girl... why would I flip to the four fucking people who lied to me and voted for me. I want to flip honestly but not while there's that many people!!!!!!! I like Rebecka and Julia but they don't talk to me and I know they're closer to Dane & Haley as well with each other. Dane told me he got a FULL idol... cute John told me he has half the idol which I helped him get. I have my full idol. Haley has half an idol. So at least I know where these powers are going. My dream plan was to vote Julia out next but Sam kinda pissed me off. Autumn's been very real with me and Jake's been so active and apologetic in my pms. My dream is now to vote Sam off next and have John/Dane/Me/Autumn/Jake vote Julia after that. Maybe Rebecka too after. Then vote off Jake/Autumn. I'm super super tight with Haley, Dane, Coffey. I obviously know Coffey/Dane from my past but idk, I want to play and work with Haley because she's cool and new. I think I'd give Coffey 4th place. Go f3 Haley/Dane, and if it's a F2 I'll figure it out later. But i doubt I'll ever get there!! I bet Sam will win the F9 immunity ffs i hope not.

hey!! flopbecka here (@ashley the jingle jingle reindeer is anywhere hi!! thx for hating me im so happy to use the name u gave me <3 ) so i still dont know wtf is happening in the game, im in like a 6 person chat that i thought was just to get ned out, and now i think its like actually a real alliance chat? im confused af idk. I really want to work with autumn in this game and i just hope she still wants to after i didnt fill her in on the ned vote so woo go team 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOKbOoj7yo0&t=6s

[survivorbahamas]

FIC Results and Rites of Passage

Dana has won individual immunity and guaranteed herself a spot in final tribal council and a chance to argue her case in front of the jury.

Now, on to rites of passage.

JULIA’S ROP

Chris- sucks you went out because of a crazy idol! you were coming after me so you had it coming ;/

Rob- god I love u so much and I was soo upset when you walked!! I hope you're doing okay!

Jenna- we were never on the same tribe but it sucks you never made merge!

Adrian- I love u to death and I really wish I was awake during the time you were voted out so I could've made sure no one flipped on you! you were such a good ally and I was really upset to see you go so soon.

Jaiden- you were probably my favorite person to align with! although you were lowkey crazy and unpredictable I knew you always had my back and I am happy to say I never went against you. playing this game with you was so much fun and I'm glad it brought us closer!

Gage- we never talked much because you always went MISSING AHHH!! but when we did talk, you were really fun and you being voted out really shocked me

Willa- you were so fun to talk to and I'm really glad we got to play this game together! the only thing I remember about you being voted out is that I was afraid someone had an idol. you were truly robbed!

Nicholas- argh u are a terrible ally to have but its ok,,, ily and im so glad to say I finally outlasted u in a game aha!

Lily- we never talked much because I felt like you were against me. you're a really sweet gal and im glad to say I never lied to you but if you made it to the end you would've won!

Bodhi- im so glad that I got to play this game with you. since the beginning, I feel like we really connected and im so happy we got to become friends. you were someone I knew I could rely on and you were really robbed. im sorry that the vote was either me or you and i lowkey wish it was me. love u!

Brian- ahhhh! during the beginning of the game, i felt like you were someone i could count on and actually become friends with! even though during merge we stopped talking as much, you played such a spectacular game and im happy i got to play it with you. i tried to save you last minute but it didn't work. you're a smart player and it sucks you were voted out!

KAI’S ROP

Madison - Voted out first for being inactive.

Kylie - Don't know who this is.

Chris - I had no idea who he was and then he tried to vote me out for no reason xD so I didn't like him too much.

Mitch - Don't know who this is.

Rob - Rob was such a sweet heart.. I'm sad that he had to leave the game (heart) I would've loved to work with him.

Jenna - Dana just told me that shes now on the jury and I feel bad because I have literally no idea who she is :( 

Adrian - I think hes probably a really nice guy but I also think he tried to vote me out along side chris and therefore It made me lose trust In him

Jaiden - quite a funny guy when you talk to him. however within this game he was absolutely crazy. he also saved me on the Chris vote which I'm very appreciative of.

Gage - he was a very quiet person but I'm sure he was lovely too.. its a shame he had to go the way he did because of idols n stuff... 

Willa - quite a nice guy, it was fun to work with him xD not many people knew about that which was pretty cool. We would've gone far 

Nicholas - I was with Nicholas in my starting tribe and he is such a sweet guy (heart) like I did like him and then he flipped on our alliance and it kind of made me lose trust in him so...

Lily - she was literally the one of the only reasons I made it this far within the game I swear to god! Coming into the game as a beginner and not knowing anybody Lily was very sweet and helped me through it and sort of gave me tips on how to play a good game so I genuinely wouldn't have been able to make it here without her.. (heart) (heart)

Bodhi - once again another person who helped me through the game. Bodhi was one of the people I trusted most as well until he started making plans and votes without me. but hes Bodhi so ive still gotta love him no matter what ya feel xD

Brian - the final person who I would never have been able to make it this far without. he was also another person who was giving me hints and tips on how to play the game.

DANA’S ROP

Madison- You were wrong. Cake was not the winner of the season, it was worm on a string and I love her.  

Kylie- Hope you had a good time playin the game!

Chris- Chips! What a nice guy. Talking to you on original Ysabela was great. Honestly? Your selfie scavenger hunt skills are admirable.

Mitch- Poor ailing Mitch. Very sorry you had to go while you were suffering from Pneumonia. You were such a nice guy. I realized too late that you’re v into candles and I’m sad we never got to talk about them because I am a hoe for candles.

Rob- Bobby! I’m SO sad we never got to play in this game together because I was really looking forward to it. My OG TS Survivor friend and my first ever ally. Can’t wait to host with you and Daisy, our only other friend.

Jenna- Ahh Jenna! Nobody has more wild stories to tell in tribe chat than you. Playing with you was super fun and you definitely kept me entertained. I’m sorry we couldn’t have gone further into the game together!

Adrian- What a pal. I’m SO sorry I left you alone on Ponderosa, but I came back to S L A Y for both of us robbed queens. I’ll make it up to you and we can go on a lit beach vacation together when we get out of the Bahamas.

Jaiden- Chaos Jaiden. You definitely made this game more interesting and terrifying for everyone involved.  Playing this game with you made everything…unpredictable to say the least, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Maybe you can find another advantage out there to bring yourself back to the jury?

Gage- The missing icon. Honestly I was always SO excited to work with you in this game, and inevitably every round you would leave me for that bitch the triangle. I’m sorry I eventually got jealous and had to vote you out of this game.

Willa- Willa Willa Willa. My half of the super idol twin. Honestly I miss you quite a lot. Your way of playing this game straightforward was something I was SO envious of in this game. I hope they have plenty of kpop bops for you to listen to @ Ponderosa.

Nicholas- QUEEN NICHOLAS! My hero and fellow wine mom. You’re honestly a fav and you deserved better. I’m super glad I decided to befriend you in this game, honestly one of the best choices I made. Can’t wait to get lit and ruin lives with you in future games.

Lily- <3 AHH I miss talking to you SO much. You’re such a great friend and we have so much in common, which made talking to you in this game incredibly enjoyable and just like I was hanging out with my irl friends. Keep living your best life my fellow sorority girl and party princess. Also pls say hello to your cute dog for me. Thank you.

Bodhi- I am SO sad you aren’t sitting here with me right now in the final four, because you deserve it so much. Playing this game with you was honestly one of the best times I’ve ever had in a game and I’m going to miss our alliance a crazy amount. You play the best UTR game, one that I’m INCREDIBLY jealous of. I’m always fascinated by the crazy plans you think up and USUALLY successfully implement. It’s been a great time and so much of that was because of you, so thanks!  

Brian- By far one of the hardest votes for me in this game. I’m so thankful you brought me back into this game and took a chance on someone you didn’t know that well at the time. Your decision to bring me back allowed me to have one of the best times I’ve ever had playing in a game before, so thank you. Unfortunately, you became SO threatening. Your pulse on what was going on in this game was close to perfect and your ability to see through other people’s plans was uncanny. You’re an awesome guy and I can’t wait to visit in Toronto!

ZACH’S ROP

Madison Although we don’t see eye to eye all the time, I still wish you would’ve been more active and could’ve stayed longer!

Kylie Queen of self voting! We didn’t talk, you were inactive and i’m not sure if you even accepted my friend request hehe.

Chris I heard your tribal was fairly… intense. We barely got to play this game together, but i’m glad with the little time we had!

Mitch This was a sad vote. I’m so sorry you came up with an illness :( I really enjoyed your presence and am glad to have gotten the opportunity to play with you! I wish we could’ve still continued though.

Rob We were close early on, and i’m glad we got to become good friends! It’s unfortunate you had to walk though :( I was hoping to continue our game together later on! I hope we get to meet again soon.

Jenna The definition of robbed. We were pals and I was so sad to see you go. I tried to force a tie but the votes just weren’t there. I’m super glad you were moved onto jury though!

Adrian This vote had me stressed out. You deserved to stay longer, but it’s unfortunate that the tiebreaker wasn’t in your favour. I wish we could’ve played together and actually went semi-far as allies and not be opposing forces, which was something we kind of achieved here, so i’m thankful to have played with you.

Jaiden You’re one crazy baby child. Although you made me stressed and made tribals hectic one after another, it was a fun experience and you made this whole overall adventure more chaotic. I’m sad to see you leave jury :(

Gage We never really connected, but i’m glad to have gotten a chance to play with you and meet you! Perhaps one day down the road we could play again and work together more effectively.

Willa At this point, this was the hardest vote I had to make. You were such a social threat and Brian was fortunately removed from the tribe (via the bermuda triangle!) so it had to be you. Thank you for talking to me though and giving me hope, and comforting me regularly. I really appreciate you and am thankful to have this opportunity shared with you.

Nicholas ADIOS NICHOLAS! You leaving pissed me the frick off. I was… blindsided… but in the end, it was fun to play with you and i’m glad we had a fun experience again. Malibu is shaking!

Lily I am grateful to have played with you again, and rekindle our friendship a little bit to say the least. You were a likeable and social threat, and my paranoid ass decided splitting the vote was the best idea, which resulted in you leaving. I’m truly apologetic. I will say though that I did enjoy your company, and you were a fun person to talk to throughout the game.

Bodhi The vote where I… cried? This was so hard because I wanted to keep you but the vote may have tied, therefore sending me out by rocks and it just wasn’t optional. I’m thankful to have gotten to build a personal relationship with you, and become friends that hopefully will extend outside this game. Thank you for all the help you provided.

Brian Okay this vote was messy. I’m sorry to see you go. We never really connected until the end, but it was too risky taking an underdog story like yours to the end. You were a great magician with your frequent “i’m playing my idol” tricks, and truly you made me one hell of a paranoid freak. Thank you for a fun game.

[survivorindia]

His attitude? It ain't helping his whiny ass. - Julia (Episode 6)

I'm still angry espically jaiden he can go fuck Off i hate him like please go block me some more jaiden with your dumbass

Ruben is the most self righteous asshole I've ever met in a game and it pisses me off so bad that he gets to walk around like he is the shit, when in reality the bitch amounts to probably nothing in this game past the new Parvati tribe. His attitude? It ain't helping his whiny ass. It's so annoying like i swear he can quit complaining about challenges he dosent like and maybe actually try and win them by a landslide and not by a point, than we would really not have to go to tribal? I hate having to be nice to him because he is soo fucking annoying. Go back to your other community than bitch if you don't like this one. Fuck off.

I feel like every fucking confessional I make is to bash these people but I honestly don't like them. My game is in their own hands, and I can be leaving because of it. Like go ahead and form your all newbie alliance, see where it gets you and your dumb fucking asses in the merge when you have majority returnees. And not to mention I bet sarah wouldn't be happy if i left

Mastermind was great, I was surprisingly really good at it!!! Getting a tie for the lowest score on my tribe also makes me look good, so that's a plus! 

Well here we are, the dreaded tribal council once again. But WHEW, what a round. So Jaiden has hopefully been called out on all his shit. Me Dom Sarah and Julia all compared notes and i think we've established that he his a lil shit and none of us trust him. Ummm Whitney is probably going this round, probably unanimous with her self voting. I think it should be fine everyone seems to realize she is just given up. So i think I should be safe this round. let's see what happens :)

http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/mreidjr/78051217/7913/7913_900.gif So I just went on call with Dom. And you know what he told me? He said that Sarah and Julia have told him everything I said about him. From how I felt like he was too much, how I didn't like him at all, how I wanted to use him to get further in the game. All that shit. That's why I voted for him, according to them. It's real funny because for a while, I did believe those things to be true. Sarah was the first person I talked to about all that. I thought she was my friend, I really did. But I see why she's on the villains tribe, because she's a heartless, cold-blooded viper. The entire Dom vote came as a result of her and Julia wanting him gone. Certainly, I didn't help with them coming to that decision, but it's become evident to me that this is the person everyone parades around and claims to be best friends with. We talk about that Bangladesh final tribal where Sarah cries over how Eddie betrayed her so badly, but then here she is, acting like a complete hypocrite. She can say that these two situations are not the same, which they are not, but the knife she plunged into my back burns the same. I can't say that I didn't see this coming. I fucked up, so it makes sense why everything spilled out in front of me on the dirt floor. Now I have to work on making people like me again, because I don't think they'll trust me for a while. We can say that I have a long road ahead before I can regain their trust, but the truth is that I have a much steeper path to the finish than before. They might not ever trust me, so I need to give them a reason to understand me. I don't know how, but I'll try. I'll take the knife that was firmly planted in my back and return it to its rightful owner one day. I did these things for her, and while she was always on my hit list, no matter that she was low, I think she's found her way to the top. Karma is a bitch, and so is she. Maybe I won't win this fight, but I think I'll die trying, and I'm at peace with that.

So last tribal council was....interesting lol. Going into tribal council I had Alex trying hard as fuck to get Dom/Me and Lexi/Robin to split our votes. I could tell he knew we were all close and when he suggested the girls vote this way and boys vote this way plan, I immediately caught onto what he was trying to do. He definitely had a hidden agenda. What I didn't think about at the time and I should have, but how did he find out about the four of us being close. And my question was answered when one, Jaiden tried getting me to throw my vote on Alex and two, Jaiden fucking voted with Johnny, Alex, and Julia against Dom. This pissed me off because I trusted Jaiden with every ounce of my soul. Between him and the other 3 people of my "alliance", I thought they were all the only people I could trust in the game. Yet he went behind my back and tried voting Dom out. Luckily Dom pulled out his idol, took out Johnny, and gave us the majority going into future tribals. However my trust for Jaiden is gone. And Alex/Julia are both viewed as shady fucks in this game in my eyes. I see how they wanna play the game now, which is fine because they are so predictable... Anyway with Johnny gone, it gave my crew the numbers despite Jaiden playing both sides HARD. He made it clear that he was closer to Alex/Julia when they both told me everything I had said to Jaiden while Jaiden was not telling me this. It's fucked up, because Jaiden went from on of my closest allies to one of the shadiest guys I know. Still, I kinda need to keep him on the good side with me because I already don't know many peeps in this game. Moving on to the next challenge it was revealed as the "Heroes Challenge." Everybody said it was a potential swap with the volunteers from each tribe being captains. And even if that wasn't true, I was confident that whomever competes for their tribe will also receive a clue to the idol. Therefore rather either of those two were true or not, I wasn't about to risk someone like Alex or Jaiden getting that advantage. So obviously I volunteered, despite me thinking I would probably lose or even throw the challenge lol. However I ended up BARELY winning the challenge. I decided I wanted to win it for two reason. One, if I won I might receive an idol clue and Two, I wanted to send the other tribe to tribal to hopefully see Whitney or Liam voted out as I knew they were apparently targets. Plus I guess I sort of wanted to look like a Hero of the tribe. So moving forward, I think I want to lose challenges more. I don't want to miss an opportunity to get out Julia or Alex (thinking that keeping Jaiden around might be smarter for me personally. Especially since Jaiden now has a fucked relationship with Alex/Julia). Still, if it's another volunteer type thing my allies HAS to be the ones to volunteer lmao. The idol must stay out of their hands!!!!

Let this flu kill me. I can't even think rn.

yes im crazy

Watching the NBA Dunk Contest as I write this, but a lot has happened as of late. My #1, Alex, is now in a compromising position given the last tribal on his swapped tribe. Jaden is a snake. I'll finish this confessional after tribal. The Liam vote is mine by the way!

I can't wait for this merge to come up soon. I definitely thought we were swapping with it when Ruben/Sarah went head to head. Now that we didn't, I guarantee the two of them got some special prize for putting their head on the line there. I just need to make the merge or swap with Gavin. Us two are really tight and there's a lot of things that can go wrong to where we can't meet back up and run things. So I'm just praying at this point.

Welp we're voting for Whitney because she is dead as fuck.

Oh no we lost for once. Whitney is prob going tonight cuz who even is she? We dont know.

Hello again, we’re going to tribal for the first time as swapped tribes, which is the thing I dread most in the game. It’s so irritating because I can’t connect with these people excluding Jordan. Casey is never on to talk about the game and doesn’t seem like she ever wants to strategize which is annoying due to the fact that she is the only one from my original tribe. We also have Sarah who I’ve heard speaks to everyone in the game and will barely talk to me. Liam and Whitney haven’t replied to me and Whitney just has not been online at all. Gavin speaks to me every once in awhile but rarely about game and is acting overly suspicious after I notified him I heard Whitney from multiple people. He didn’t agree and didn’t disagree so he does not trust me and does not seem to want to vote Whitney lmao. He can go soon enough even though we could align and make a big move against people who are noticeably aligned with a large majority of the cast. I hate people who want to float by and do nothing while they get played by these power players; it just dulls the experience. I like a lot of the people on the other tribe so being swapped onto this tribe was just a big letdown. Here’s to hoping I’m not voted off over someone who’s never here which would be embarrassing but more so to the ones who don’t know what a big move is.

As for me personally, I’ve been trying to play the dumb role and acting as if I don’t have a clue as to what’s going on most of the time. I also let others see me as trustworthy, make alliances for me so they cannot be traced back to me starting them and will let Jordan assume that I’m his puppet. I considered voting Jordan so I could blame the vote on someone else and I would assume he would believe me over others since we’ve had multiple heart to hearts. It’d bring some necessary fun into this game because quite frankly it’s been dull. The only reason I could not go through it was due to the weird prior connections everyone has had from original tribes and the way the votes would shake down wasn’t 100% so if they decide not to vote Whitney then it would unravel and such. I’ll just try to keep myself safe for now and then would have enough time to make big moves further down the road. Perhaps Whitney could hold off on coming online for a little while longer and just be removed?

I'm so happy I've gotten this far in the game! I'm guaranteed 15th place at this point I believe which is much better than I had anticipated after going through the struggles of being on the bottom in the Nayak tribe. I'm glad we won immunity but I'm also concerned. Jaiden doesn't seem to be doing too well. It looks like a lot of person issues exploded between him and a few other people. Game wise, this is great for me because people play with their emotions so they're more likely to want to get rid of him than me. He's like a meat shield for me. I've talked to him though and I feel bad. It's an online game and I don't think people should be taking these things personally. This should be fun and not affecting someone's mental health negatively. I hope he feels better and that he finds some way to get himself in a better position in the game. I wouldn't mind helping him out with that.

So jaiden betrayed us in the last vote and we had no clue dom was getting votes until the last minute so good thing he played his idol. I wish ruben would of lost that duel challenge so we could of sent julia or alex out the door. Keeping jaiden is beneficial since her and dom will just be at each other and not us.