#only 5 min more mum

[spillthebea]

okay, we need to discuss

i know that people see the lyrics: When does a man become a monster? from I'm Just a Man (Epic the Musical) and think of Remus but WRONG! IT'S PETER! PETAAAAAH

when does a comet become a meteor (lily) when does a candle become a blaze? (sirius) when does a man become a monster (peter) when does a ripple become a tidal wave? (james) when does the reason become the blame? (remus)

and see, it goes perfectly with the reprise!

when does a candle become a blaze? Forgive me

it's sirius asking for forgiveness for Halloween

when does a man become a monster? Forgive me. I am just a man

IT'S PETER ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS FOR BETRAYING THEM AND BEING JUST A MAN, A COWARD IDIOT LITTLE RAT OF A MAN! PETAAAAHHHH

*insert here meme of an astronaut watching earth saying "wait, it's just Peter?" while on gunpoint by another one that says "Always has been"*

[starkidlabs]

Haha I should not have read my mums texts

[b3ach-bunn7]

CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST

Texts with your best friend Touya (who’s a little bit in love with you)

no quirk au <3

—————————————————————————-

January 9th

8:47 pm

You: OH TOUYAAAAA

You: it’s nearly ur bd 😁 what shall I get u

Touya: Nothing

Touya: Just Ur love 😍

You: ew

You: shall I get u some new earrings

You: OH I COULD PAY FOR ANOTHER PIERCING

Touya: Literally where

Touya: I think I’ve pierced every available location on my face

Touya: Unless… You meant somewhere else 😳

You: EWWWWWWWW

You: UR SUCH A FREAK

Touya: I meant my belly button?

You: stfu

Touya: Get your head out the gutter

You: shut up pooya

Touya: Wow you really got me there!

You: HUSH

January 12th

8:39 am

You: bruh where r u

You: homeroom started like ten minutes ago

Touya: I just woke up

Touya: Leaving onw buy shoti is lissing me kff

You: okay English!!!

Touya: Kys

You: but you can type that right…

January 12th

1:40 pm

You: Touyaaaaaa

You: can we go get food

You: the canteen stuff is rubbish today

You: plz I’m so sos is so hungry I’m dying

Touya: Fatty

You: HEY

You: SO MEAN

Touya: I’m only joking sweetcheeks

You: gross

Touya: You love it

Touya: Shiggy wants to come 2

Touya: Is that Ok

You: sigh fine I guess

Touya: Shall I tell him he’ll be third wheeling if he does 😳

You: yes 🥰🥰🥰😍 he just can’t interrupt our time together my sweet

Touya: Ew

You: you love it

January 13th

7:40 pm

You: GST ON MINECRAFTTT

Touya: I’m doing homework

You: I’m doing your mum OHHH

Touya: Woah

Touya: Telling her u said that

You: PLZ IM JOKING

You: I’ll tell her ur telling porky pies

You: Rei would trust my word over urs anyways 😈

Touya: Lowkey she would

Touya: My own mother 😢

You: I’m just better ig

You: how long r u gonna be

Touya: Give me like fifteen mins

You: BOO

Touya: Bro Aizawa is up my ass rn

Touya: If I hand one more piece of work in late he’s gonna acc kill me

You: idk why u hate him so much

You: i love him

You: and he has that sexy teacher look🤤 those luscious locks

Touya: R u sure u can get off his dick long enough for us to play

You: HAHAHAH

You: STFU

You: ur just jealous

Touya: So very

Touya: Why aren’t u hyping ME up like that

You: cause u smell?

Touya: I’m not playing

You: IM JOKING

You: U smell so good and yummy

You: like cigarette smoke 😍

Touya: 🙄

You: sassy 💁‍♀️

Touya: Stop distracting me so I can work

You: okay smelly

January 15th

2:30 pm

Touya: Y/N

Touya: Y/n

Touya: Y/NNNN

Touya: Queen

Touya: Sweetheart

Touya: Angel

You: if you throw one more piece of paper at my head I’m blocking u

Touya: You won’t check ur phone

Touya: How else can I get ur attention from across the room

You: WE R I. CLASS

Touya: So?

You: think I figured out why Aizawa doesn’t rate u

You: pay attention

Touya: But I miss u

Touya: And I’m bored

You: U LITERALLY SAW ME LIKE HALF AN HOUR AGO

You: AT LINCH

Touya: Ur point?

You: omfg

Touya: So what’s up

You: I’m gonna kill you

January 17th

6:50 pm

Fuyumi: Hi Y/N

You: hey fuyumi!!

You: everything okay?

Fuyumi: Yeah, it’s great!!

Fuyumi: Just wanted to tell u that everyone needs to be at ours for Touya’s party at 5:00

Fuyumi: We’ll tell him to come home at like six so that gives us some time to get everything ready

You: beautiful

You: do u think he has any idea were throwing him a party 🤭🤭

Fuyumi: I don’t think so 😆 we have been very careful

Fuyumi: Even shoto has kept his mouth shut

You: yeah I had to threaten twice a couple times before he promised to not tell

You: IM EXCITED

Fuyumi: Me too!!!

Fuyumi: Can’t wait to see u 😊

You: I can’t wait either!!!

Fuyumi: I hope he’ll like it

Fuyumi: We’re getting mum to drive all across town to get him that cake he loves

Fuyumi: I really want him to have fun

You: don’t worry babe he will have fun

You: and if he doesn’t I’ll force him to 😈

January 17th

7:00pm

Touya: U guys r throwing me a surprise party right

You: what?

Touya: For my bd

Touya: Fuyumi is being all suspicious

Touya: Told me I have to leave the house tomorrow but also come back at six oclock??

Touya: And the little brat keeps giggling at me

You: uhm don’t call little shoto that

Touya: Ur deflecting

Touya: They r throwing a party aren’t they

You: they aren’t

You: idk why you think that

Touya: Y/N

You: WHY DO U HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING

Touya: Lol

You: please please don’t tell them you know

You: they’re so excited for do this for you

You: [screenshot attachment]

You: look what Fuyumi said to me

Touya: Oh

You: please don’t spoil 😔

Touya: Don’t worry your pretty little head

Touya: I won’t

You: YAY

You: LOVE U

Touya: Ly2

January 18th

12:00am

You: [audio messsage]

You: enjoy me whisper singing happy bd to u

You: HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY WOOOOO

You: LOVE U THE MOST

You: okay I need to sleep we have school tomorrow

January 18th

3:07am

Touya: Thank you y/n

Touya: Ly the most too

January 18th

6:15 pm

You: Touya where tf r u

Touya: I’m On my way!

You: we’ll be On your way! FASTER

Touya: STFU

You: U STFU

Touya: U TOLD ME TO MAKE THIS BELIEVEBE

Touya: MY FAMILY WOULD NOT BELEIWV I GOT THERE ON TIME

You: wait ur right lowkey

Touya: exactly

You: well walk faster

Touya: I’m not walking

Touya: I’m driving

You: HOW TF R U TEXTING ME

Touya: Imd riving one handed?

You: GET TF OFF UR PHONE 😭

January 19th

12:04 am

Touya: Y/N

Touya: Thank u for gifts

Touya: The strap for my bass

Touya: And the necklace

Touya: I lowbe them

Touya: and the aprty was so fun

Touya: I lovwd it

Touya: and I lobe you

You: that’s okay 😁

You: are u drunk rn🤔

Touya: Snuch out with bawks

Touya: Hrwks

Touya: Hawks

Touya: Raided fathers liquoye supply

You: you went to your dad’s house????

Touya: NO

Touya: never

Touya: stolen from when he was gere

Touya: fukcing loser 😂😂

You: where r u guys?

Touya: hawks house

Touya: his oarents arent home

Touya: u wanbawcome over

Touya: I’ll kuck him out

You: u can’t kick hawks out of his own house 😭

You: why do u even need to kick him out we’re friends

Touya: he flirst with y so much

Touya: flirts

Touya: pisses me off

You: awwwww r u jelly 🥺

Touya: yes

You: LOL

You: yeah maybe lay off the the drinks buddy

Touya: I live u

Touya: love

Touya: I loved the gifts u got me rhwnks

You: you already said babe

Touya: sorry baby Im so drunk

You: okay I’m going to go before you say something you’ll regret in the morning

You: goodnight birthday boy

January 19th

1:05 pm

Touya: Please erase last night from ur memory

You: last night was a movie 😍

Touya: Yeah a fucking horror

You: HAHAHA

Touya: My head is killing me

You: painkillers?

Touya: Idk where they r and Hawks is sleeping

You: did u guys just wake up 😭

Touya: I think I slept like at like five am

Touya: It’s nice smoking inside a house and not in some alleyway so mum doesn’t catch me

You: BOO

You: ur lungs hate u

Touya: I hate them back

Touya: It’s why I smoke

You: LOL SHUT UP

Touya: Fuck my HEAD

You: that’s what he said

Touya: Ew man

You: you love it

You: go drink some h2o

Touya: Enough chemistry in too tired

You: sigh fine

You: go get some WATER 💦

Touya: Fine

You: bye baby 🤪

Touya: I’ll kill you

You: but I thought you love me??

Touya: Ur dead to me

You: HAHHA

January 21st

7:06 pm

You: Touya

You: can I come over plz

Touya: Erm what 😳😳😳

You: seriously

You: can I

Touya: Yh ofc

Touya: You okay?

You: yh

You: well no actually

You: my dads being my dad again

You: I just can’t be in this house rn

You: I need to get away from him

Touya: Yeah u can anytime

Touya: Yk my family loves u

You: thanks

Touya: You want me to pick u up?

You: nah I wanna walk

You: thanks again

You: love u

Touya: Ly2

January 29th

5:28 pm

You: [image attachment]

You: BRUH HOW DID I LOSEEEE

You: I ATE SK BAD

Touya: Bruh get off dress to impress 😭

Touya: U r beefing ten year olds rn

You: idgaf

You: ten year olds who can’t fucking dress

You: I actually hate this game

You: that is NOT STEAM PUNK WHAT THE FUCK

Touya: Maybe get good

You: maybe kys???????

Touya: Words hurt 😔

You: man up?

Touya: Woah

Touya: Okay just perpetuate gender norms..

You: define perpetuate?

You: YH that’s what i thought

February 6th

7:06 pm

You: bro

You: all my friends have valentines apart from ME

Touya: Get good?

You: okay and where’s urs?

Touya: texting her rn 😍

You: omg 😳

You: but on a real I feel horrifically left out

You: Toga keeps flaunting it in my face

Touya: That little freak got one?

Touya: Who

You: yk that girl in 1-A with the chubby cheeks

You: they r so cute omg

You: how come toga has a lesbian lover and I’m jobless and hoeless 😔

Touya: I can help with one of those things

You: u hiring???

Touya: I’ll be ur valentine

You: I can’t tell if ur joking

Touya: I’m not

You: do u have one romantic bone in ur body

Touya: I can think of one 😳

You: LMAO EW

Touya: Nah fr I’ll be ur valentine

You: okay…

You: ask me properly tho

Touya: Okay

Touya: Hey Y/N

You: oh hi Touya! What’s up

Touya: Will u do me the great honour of being my valentine?

You: 😊 yes!

Touya: Thank you 😊😍

February 10th

2:02 pm

Touya: Omg

Touya: Y/N guess what

You: don’t text me in class lil bro

Touya: Someone asked me to be their valentine 🤪

You: what

You: Who

You: is she in our homeroom

You: did u tell her ur mine

Touya: Woahh

Touya: Jealous much

You: no I just don’t want to be a side piece 😔

Touya: No Dw I told her I’m urs 🥺

You: shush

You: yk what I meant

You: who was it tho

Touya: Idk some girl in my maths class

Touya: She seemed pretty sad when I said no

Touya: The ladies love me

You: she’ll get over it!

Touya: LOL

February 14th

8:03 am

You: OMG

You: ARE THESE FLOWERS MINE

Touya: No I got them for ur dad actually

You: TOUYAAA

You: THEYRE MY FAVS

You: THANM U SM

Touya: Anytime Valentine

February 14th

1:20 pm

Touya: Meet at my car

Touya: I’m taking u out for lunch

You: thank gosh

You: they’re selling some mystery meatloaf type deal and I’m no happy

You: hawksy wants to come too

Touya: No

Touya: Just u

You: girl he’s not gonna do anything

Touya: No this is like

Touya: Hold on

You: okay hawks is looking at his phone and typing

You: r u texting him

You: okay he magically doesn’t wanna come along anymore

Touya: Aw :((

Touya: I’m waiting outside

You: see u in a bit smelly

February 14th

1:50 pm

You: ur such a child

You: IM RIGHT IN FRONT OD U JUST TALK TO ME

Touya: NO

You: WHY

Touya: IK SCARED

You: I can see u smiling

Touya: Shut up

Touya: Okay listen

Touya: If u don’t like what I’m about to say we r going to act like this never happened okay

Touya: I will delete the message out of existence and thus out of ur mind

You: okay…

Touya: Okay so I kind of like actually asked u to be my Valentine not just because ur lonely

Touya: And I like really like you

Touya: As in like like

Touya: But I don’t wanna ruin our friendship because ur the best friend I’ve ever had and will ever have

Touya: So if u don’t feel the same we can just pretend this never happened

February 14th

8:00 pm

You: I’m home safe xxx

Touya: Don’t care

You: okay mr message me when ur back

You: okay mr parked in my driveway to make sure I got in okay???

Touya: Shut up

You: wait hold on

You: is that why uninvited hawks

You: so that u could ask me out

Touya: Yeah and the sky is also blue

You: SHUT UL

Touya: He’s so stupid yk

Touya: It was his idea ??

Touya: And he forgot

You: hey three’s a party!

Touya: So you would’ve kissed me as aggressively as you did if Hawks was there?

You: wait ur right..

You: Oh well

You: it was about time anyways

You: took u like three years and u did it over DMS

Touya: I’m shy 🥺

You: EW TF

You: I take the kiss back

Touya: These hickeys tell me a different story

You: HSUTUP

Touya: You love it

You: I love YOU 🫵

Touya: Yeah

Touya: Love you too

—————————————————————————

This was NOT supposed to end with a confession but I physically cannot help myself 😅 I love these text posts they’re so fun!!

Hope u all enjoyed <3

[maxsimagination]

𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘂𝗺 - 𝗸.𝗴𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆

summary: harper plays match-maker & inadvertently manages to get her mum to go ask a girl out.

𖦹 masterlist

"𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗞𝗔𝗧, 𝗬𝗢𝗨 seen harps?"

i knocked on katrina's hotel room door, but there was no response so i walked in. i was going to take harper down with me so katrina could get ready, but immediately stopped in my tracks when a saw the scene before me. harper was on the bed, katrina curled around her, both sound asleep.

my heart melted seeing my two favourite people together like that. as much as i wanted to let kat sleep longer, i knew i had to wake her up. coach wanted us down in a half hour for a team meeting about the game.

"kat, you gotta wake up now." i sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her arm, shaking her a bit. she came to after a few moments of me shaking her lightly. kat's groggy face turned to look at who was tearing her from her sleep. "hey sleeping beauty." i grinned down at her. "mm, i jus' need five more minutes."

"we have that meeting soon, you gotta get up, min." everyone in the team called her mini, or min, because of her short stature, but i was an exception. i called her kat, only on occasion did i switch it for mini.

"fuuuuckk." she drawled out. eventually she sat up slowly and got up. the small child next to her had shuffled around and woke up at the slight commotion near her. "hey harps." i ruffled her her a bit and she giggled at me. i picked her up and smoothed down her clothes before katrina walked out of the bathroom, her hair fixed and looking slightly less tired.

"let's head down, yea?"

i only received a light mumble in response, kat's way of agreeing. we knew each other in and out by now, we'd been best friends for years. probably from the first time we met years ago at her then club, brisbane roar, and soon after mine.

i had signed a deal with the club, contracted for 5 years. katrina had already been there for a year or two when i joined, but her contract ran out two years before mine did. she moved from there that year, signing with some other club over in england, leaving me behind.

unbeknownst to me, she did a stint with the club in england but then moved to a sweden club which i would later sign with. it was a big offer from them and a big sign for me, having to move from australia to sweden and play for vittsjö gik. but i quickly decided it was the best decision i'd made in my life when i saw katrina on the training field at my first session. we were inseparable and attached at the hip again, we went everywhere together.

i had, very, quickly caught some sort of feelings towards the older woman when we first met and didn't know how to feel about that fact, choosing to ignore the butterflies that made chaos of my abdomen when i saw her.

i never knew if she had felt the same, and didn't want to ruin what bond we had together so i never said a word. now here we are, at national camp together, about 10 years later. it was a messy situation, especially on my end, but i made the most of it, loving every moment i got to spend with katrina, and her little harper.

"thank you for looking after harps, yn." she brought me out of my little daydream with her gratitude. "it's all good, kat. i love the kid as much as anyone." harper wriggled around in my arms at my words.

we had made it to the meeting room then, and joined the rest of the team to take a seat.

——

it felt like a whole year had gone by after we left that room. my butt had gone numb from how long i was in that seat for. harper was in my arms again as me and kat walked out and towards the cafeteria. i honestly thought i could eat a horse, my last meal was at breakfast, almost 5 hours ago. i grabbed what i could fit onto my plate and raced over to a table and placed everything on the surface. katrina handed harper off to me while she went to get her's and harps lunch.

we sat in comfortable silence eating our food, me more so devouring. i finished everything on my plate and was finally full. both kat and harper were still eating, and both were laughing at me and my content sighs after eating for two people. "shut up, i was starving." i send a joking look to kat and she laughs some more at me.

"mama. water, please." harper's voice catches us both off guard, and we both just stare at her as she looks at me and makes grabby hands for my water bottle.

"did she..?" i trail off in a silent question to katrina. "yea.. she did." i went white as a sheet, body frozen. i finally found it in me and passed harper my water bottle. the kid latches onto it and drinks some. i was still shocked and hadn't uttered any words other than confirming what we'd both seen with kat.

my brain seemed to malfunction as my mind told me i needed to leave. i grabbed my plate, making some sort of excuse to get out of the room.

i bolted, heading for my own room this time. i flopped down on my bed, mind racing a million miles and hour. harper called me mama! i was elated but also worried at the same time. what if kat didn't want her kid to think of me as her second mum? my nerves and anxiety were called to the forefront and i kept asking myself questions without answers.

it felt like two seconds but there was a knock on my door, and suddenly it opened. i shot upright, and seeing it was kat, flopped back down.

i couldn't even look her in the face as she walked over. "yn. are you okay?" "umm, yes?" it came out more as a question rather than a statement. "you're not. you were white as a ghost before." a split second of reckless thought sent me over the edge and i blurted. "harper called me mama." i didn't know what i was doing, i just needed to air that statement.

"yea, about that. i'm sorry, i didn't know she saw it like that." "you're.. sorry?" i was confused. did she not want me to be a mum to harper? "yea, i didn't think you wanted things to be like that."

surely she's joking. "kat.." i sat up and took a deep breath.

"katrina, i would love to be a mum to harper. i never told you any of this, and it's been at least 4 years of me bottling up my feelings. i have liked you so much, for the longest time. i have wanted nothing more to hug you as more than friends for the longest time. but i never said anything because i didn't want to ruin our friendship. you're like my best friend. but i want us to be more."

shit. i just ruined it didn't i? i looked up at katrina tentatively, scared to see her expression.

surprisingly, it wasn't one of hate. she almost looked.. relieved? "oh thank god." that was a new one. she sat down next to me so we were eye level again.

"i am so glad you said something, i would have gone another few years without saying anything. i like you so much more than friends, yn. i can't even begin to explain how thankful i am to have you in my life, to help me with harper, or to just be with me when i need a shoulder to cry on."

what she says catches me off guard, i fully expected her to shun me and tell me she wasn't interested.

"wait.. really?" she nods with a smile. "yes really. you mean so much to me-" i cut her off by pressing my lips to hers. she freezes up but just as quickly, kisses me back. her lips are soft, sweet, they taste like caramel. i had my hands on either side of her face. she moves hers down to wrap around my waist. everything around us stops moving as we continue in our own little world. finally we break apart to take a breath.

"katrina-lee gorry, do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

"always, yn yln."

[heartbeat-eras]

~Intro Post ~

Hi everyone!

Long time cardiophile in the community but just discovering tumblr for the first time.  Please bear with me while I work this out 😅

About me:

My first memory was me, maybe 3 years old, with my head on my Mums chest asking her what that was. Ever since then it’s always been a thing I’ve been fascinated in. 

My cardio-interest can be many things and have evolved over the years. I have the curiosity about what certain things make it do. How it reacts to exercise or caffeine or nicotine or standing different ways. How holding your breath makes it skip and slow down. I love seeing the reactions to different things. This was the era I started in. 

Then there is the emotional side. The heart can’t lie. If you had a stethoscope on my chest right now, while these words could be trying to portray confidence - you you hear her thrashing in my chest with nervousness / excitement. (Talking about hearts, even anon, gives me anxiety). It’s one of those things that in my real life I would love to be more open about but the level of trust to do that is something that needs to be earned. 

And the dark / …. Adult side… if you asked me years ago I would have said hell no. It depends on the day, month, mood, etc. I’m more open to it these days. Electro, breath play and cpr is what I would lean into, but I’m either in the mood or definitely not. There’s no in between. 

RP / Messages - I’ve never RP before. Maybe I want to try? I’m not sure. I need to be comfortable to talk about hearts so it would have to be a slow intro into it. I also never know how to answer a blind message saying “how’s your heart?”  It kinda feels intrusive and personal so unless it’s a comment about a post PLEASE just start how you would any message to any friend 😊

About my heart

My heart wasn’t all the exciting. Sleeping she gets into the high 40s - low 50’s. Just sitting around working she’s chill around 68. It’s the exercise that gets her. I’ve been a smoker for about 16 years (the last 3 of those vaping instead). When I exercise she shoots up and stays in the 170-188 range on a run. Her recovery is ok considering nic. Slows down initially pretty quickly but says just about 100 for a while. She doesn’t throw many skips and I can induce a couple from a breath hold / push but usually will just beat really slowly after that. 

… well all that was until 6 month ago. Yo girl was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and started on stimulants. Now she feels completely different. I needed to go through the full heart check prior to this, I wanted so bad to see the ECG and see her beating but I was mentally not in a good place and didn’t get to. 

They say that Dexadrine is meant to only increase your resting by 5-7 beats. I would end up sitting at my desk and her beating away happily in the 90s. I haven’t exercised yet but when they wear off at night I can definitely feel her pounding a bit harder and faster than she used to. I’ve now noticed late at night she will occasionally get skippy and throw 5 or 6 beats in a row. But only occasionally and then goes back the normal pounding rhythm. 

Last night I wore my chest strap to bed to see how she was behaving. When she would usually be around 50, last night she didn’t get lower than 65. Today I decided to test her and record her without getting up and taking my meds. A true resting test. She was steady around 68 for 45 mins. Then she increased to about 72 as they kicked in. So maybe they weren’t lying. Maybe just being up is enough to jack her up into the 90s 🤔 she is pounding really forcefully though. I think I’m going to continue monitoring and see if this the norm. 

Anyway, you’ve made it this far you probably deserve some of her sounds. After she didn’t take off into the 90s like I thought she would I decided it was time to have my morning nicotine. This is where the changes took place. A short sound for you to hear hear speeding up. This is before I’ve stood up still. 

What do you hear? How fast is she beating? What do you think she’s feeling? 

Soon I’ll try some exercise and we will see how that goes. 😅

[gryffindormarveltwilight]

All We Need - Jake Seresin x Reader - Part 5

A/N: Part 5 for the Hangman x Reader series, sorry it took so long life has been crazy! I hope you all enjoy, hopefully the next parts will go up quicker! As always any requests or feedback is always welcome. xx

MASTERLIST - PART 4

Pairings: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Mentions of Death, Navy Inaccuracies

When Daisy was released the day after her operation Jake and I had to work out how to look after her and continue training. Cyclone wasn’t happy with what we worked out but he also wasn’t going argue with Iceman, when he was told we would both be doing half days, Jake there in the mornings and me there in the afternoon, until Friday, I was sitting at the table at 0730 Jake was in his uniform me and Daisy were still in our PJs when there was a knock at the door. I looked at Jake confused as he stood up to go answer it me and daisy following close behind. As the door swung open I saw my Mom and Sarah standing there.

“Mom, Aunt Sarah, what are you doing here?”

“We are here to pick up Daisy for the day.”

“What, but we still have one more day of split shifts.”

“Y/N, Tom says you are both needed on base no arguments.” I nod at Sarahs comment, I may have been confused but I wasn’t one to argue with Uncle Ice.

“Do not just stand there go and get ready.” My mom scolds and I just nod before heading to the bathroom to get ready. It only took about 15 mins for me to get ready, when I was finally dressed with my hair pulled up in its usually bun I walked out to hear Jake trying to explain to Aunt Sarah and Mom how to help Daisy.

“Jake, Honey, I raised one kid and helped your Mamma raise you and your 3 sisters and Sarah raised 3 boys, we know what to do okay.”

“I know Mrs. Y/L/N, I am just worried.”

“I know, Honey now stop fussing and go see where that daughter of mine is.” I decide at that I should make my presents known.

“I am right here Mum, stop telling Jake what to do, Jake do you want to go start the car I am just going to talk to mum and Aunt Sarah.” Jake nodded giving Daisy a kiss on the forehead before walking out the front door towards the car. 

“Mum, Aunt Sarah, thank you for looking after her, now I know you both know what you are doing, but if anything happens you call me, not Jake.”

“Sweetie, wouldn’t it be better to call her father?” Aunt Sarah asks.

“No, I know what we are doing at training, I have completed the course this course 100 times already, and successfully, I need Jake training all day today, because god forbid I have to pick him for this and he can’t fly the course. He needs this training more than me.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes and my mum and aunt Sarah move forward and hug me.

“Everything will be fine now, go Jake and the team are waiting for you.” I nod and walk out to see Jake waiting in the truck and I jump in the passenger seat.

“Everything good?” I nod as Jake begins the drive to base. We finally arrive and head to the hanger where the squad is gathered, as we walk in the whole room goes quiet, I know why they all go quiet and look at us, the bags under our eyes having gotten larger due to the stress we have felt through the week. I walk to the front where Mav, Cyclone, Warlock and Ice were standing and Jake takes his seat next too Coyote, I nod to Mav, who starts explaining the mission parameters. As he explains the low flying time constrained mission I see the worried faces of the squad.

“Sir, can this mission even be flown successfully.” Mav’s breath hitches and before he can answer I start speaking.

“It can be, I have flown this course successfully but it will not happen in one day it took me nearly 48 hours of consecutive flying and I didn’t have to worry about a wingman, so today you guys will be flying the course in different teams and you will most likely fail every time but that is why we are here training and training you all so that before this mission you will fly it successfully and come home.” The whole squad nods and Mav dismisses them sending the first pair to their planes and the rest to the rec room. 

“Why did you tell them they will fail Athena?” Mav asks in a low voice with slight anger behind it.

“Because they needed to hear it Sir, you have put an elite squad together who probably haven’t have a failure since graduating Top Gun, and they will fail this course but if they go in knowing that, it won’t be so disheartening.” Mav nods but I can tell that wasn’t the answer he wanted.

I sat in the class room next to Mav as we watched groups of pilots go up one after the other with no luck of anyone succeeding the course, the next up was Rooster with Phoenix and Bob. As they start flying they look on track to reaching the target, “Well Mav we may have a successful run,”

“He is flying too slow.”

“I know but at least he will make it, then we just have to work on making him faster.” Eventually they finish having made it to the target but 1 minute late, soon after that we see them land and walk towards the rec room. 

“Lets rope ‘em Thena, go over their runs.” I nod and stand to walk towards the rec room I see them all sitting on the couches talking amongst themselves except Jake and Coyote who are looking at some pictures on the walls.

“Squad, listen up,” I announce and see them all sit a little straighter and look at me, “You are required to be in the class room in 5mins, so lets hustle.” They all stood up and walked I looked at Jake and Javy who had a smirk on their face. “Whatever you two are thinking do not do it, understood.” They don’t say anything as they just walk out. As I make my way back to the classroom I see everyone taking there seats as Mav pulls up the first pairs run, and starts to critique it, yelling at the pairs every time what would they tell the others family every time he asks I see the squad flinch everyone thinking of their own loved ones. Finally we get to the run the Rooster made it to the the target. Rooster and Mav start arguing with each other, which I more or less blocked out until the last moment.

“It is not the plane sir, it is the pilot!” Rooster yelled

“Exactly!” Mav yelled back, Rooster looked at him stunned, and I was to stunned to speak until Jake spoke up.

“You’re too slow, don’t you get it, a pilot flys like Maverick on this mission or they don’t come home.”

“What does that mean?” Rooster replied

“Come on I can’t be the only one who knows he flew with your old man,” there is was I thought speaking up in hopes to stop Jake. “Hangman, enough” I say.

“And I can’t be the only one who knows Mav was flying with him when he…” Before he could finish the sentence Rooster launched out of his chair at Jake, Mav and I soon followed me to grab Jake Mav to grab Rooster, the rest of the squad following to prevent a fight.

“Enough Hangman.” I say pushing him backwards into Javy’s arms. He looked down at me the rage slowly fading as he saw the anger on my face. “That is enough for the day Coyote take Hangman outside to cool down, Phoenix take Rooster to do the same! Everyone else dismissed.” I yell as everyone started to walk away I yelled again, “Lieutenant Seresin, you will report back here in 20 mins, understood.” He turned to look at me sadness and regret on his face “Yes Ma’am” he lowered his head and walked out of the door.

“Well handled Athena.” Man says to me.

“He shouldn’t have brought up Goose, Mav, but what he said was true.” Man looked at me wanting me to explain my statement. “They need to fly like you to come home from this.”

“No, Athena, they need to fly like you, you fly like me that is true, you take risk most pilots are too scared to make, but you also fly like Ice you stay calm in tough situation and always that the smartest approach, but more importantly you fly like your old man, you never leave your team behind and you fight tooth and nail to make sure everyone comes home. You are the one they need to fly like, that is why you were picked for this team, you got the best of all three of us.” I nod feeling a tear in my eye.

“We need to make a team Mav, after this Hangman, Coyote, Rooster, Payback, Fanboy, Phoenix and Bob, become our permanent team here, we need to make them one.”

“I know, any ideas?” I nod with a smile. “Athena, do you think they can handle that.”

“Rooster and I created it when I was 12 Mav, I think they can handle it.”

“Okay then, Dogfight Football it is.” Mav and I finish working out when we will get the squad together to play football, when Jake walks in still dressed in his flight suit head hung low, my relaxed demeanour changes as I tense up, Mav looks between us and mumble a quick goodbye as he leaves the room.

“Y/N I…”

“Sit down Lieutenant.” Jake straightens up and takes a seat mumbling a ma’am under his breath, “you were well out of line in there, to bring up Roosters father and to bring up the worst time in your commanders life, losing his wingman, do you know how stupid and disrespectful that was.”

“Athena I didn’t…”

“Let me guess, didn’t mean it to be offensive you just want to get under Roosters skin push him to do better, well newsflash Hangman, that is not your job, you are here to train and to make sure that you and your team come home. Why don’t you leave the training to me and Mav.”

“So you can train us to come home, like Loki!” I take a step back in shock and look at Jake whose face changed from anger to regret at his own words, “Y/N I��m…..” I cut him off as my palm connects with his cheek.

“Lieutenant you will apologise to Rooster and Mav by Monday or you will be out of the running to be selected for this mission, I need a team up there not someone who antagonises a team.” I don’t give him a chance to answer before I walk out of the room and to the change room, I thought I was alone as I punched the closed locker and started to cry, when I suddenly feel arms around my shoulders.

“Geez Athena, what the hell happened I have never seen you cry.” I look up to see Phoenix with a concerned look,

“Phe, I am sorry I didn’t realise you were still here.”

“Thena don’t worry about that what the hell happened.” I look at her before I start spilling my guts before I can even stop myself I start telling her about everything, Loki, the concern for the current mission the stress of Daisy being sick and most recently the argument I just had with Jake.

“Bloody Hangman, trust him to say something stupid, do you know what I think we need, a night at the Hard Deck, just us girls.”

“That sounds amazing, let me get changed into some plain clothes.” She nodded, I quickly went and showered and got changed before we headed to Bobs truck, after Phoenix filled him in on the events and plans he offered to drive us so us girls could ‘let loose’.

Jakes POV

I stood still in shock after Athena had slapped me and yelled at me.

‘Boy, I hope to hell I heard wrong and you did not just throw Loki in her face.’ I hear an angry stern voice behind me and spin to see Iceman with a dangerous glare looking at me.

“I didn’t mean too” I say in a low whisper, I hadn’t meant to say that to my best friend but after the week we had I was stressed and after failing the course and having Mav shout at us asking what we would tell our wingmans family I snapped at Athena. 

“You seem to be doing that a lot Hangman.” 

“Mav told you”

“He didn’t i heard everything.” I nod and sit down.

“Ice how do i make it up to her i just threw her dead wingman in her face.”

“Start by saying sorry and then go from there and explain to her why you snapped and what you are scared of.”

“I am not scared.”

“Yes you are Jake, i think you are scared you might lose her on this mission.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“It is to me and to Mav, that is the reason he is not mad at you, we are all scared someone won’t come back from this, and it terrifies us that it will be her because she won’t allow it to be someone else.”

“If everyone is so worried about that then why are we sending her up.”

“Because you know as well as anyone she is the only one who can fly it.”

“I can’t lose her Ice, neither can Daisy, she cannot lose the person she thinks of like a mother.”

“You need to tell her, i saw her and Phoenix talking about heading to the Hard Deck, so Daisy can have a sleepover this weekend while you guys work it out.”

“I couldnt ask you to do that while she is still recovering.”

“Boy, we raised a village of kids she will be fine, plus Sarah and Y/M/N have been doting on her all day they won’t complain about having her longer.” I nod with a small smile thinking about how spoiled my child is right now, as i stand in turn back to where Iceman is sitting.

“Why aren’t you mad at me Ice, after what i said.”

“I am but, i know we say dumb things when we are scared of losing the person we love.”

“I don’t…..” I stop as i see Ice raise and eyebrow.

“Thank you Sir.” He nods and i run off to the shower, by the time I have showered and get to my truck after talking with Mav, having an eerily similar conversation the one I had had with Ice it had been about two hours since I had seen Athena and I headed straight to the hard-deck, what i was not expecting to see was Athena and Phoenix standing on our regular pool table screaming Taylor Swift songs at the top of their lungs while Bob laughed and filmed the two. I laugh and shake my head as i head towards the bar.

I noticed Penny wasn’t behind the bar which was unusual until i felt someone smack the back of my head.

“Want to tell me why my niece was crying when she got here and has had more shots then I can count and is now on my pool table?” I turn to see Penny with an eyebrow raised.

“Would I am an idiot suffice.”

“I guess it would, Mav already told me what happened. You are lucky you are not buying a round for the whole bar.”

“But…” Penny smiled i may not have been buying a round for the bar but there had to be a catch.

“But you are paying for all the drinks Phoenix and her drink.” 

“I think buying a round for the bar would be cheaper.”

“Make it right Jake, she cant stay mad at you for long but you still gotta make it up to.”

“I know, but there is something i have to do first. Can i grab 2 beers” Penny nodded and handed me the two beers and i make my way over to Rooster who is watching the two at the pool table.

“Rooster, do you mind if we talk.” He nodded and we headed out to the balcony of the hard deck.

“What do you want Hangman.”

“To say sorry, if you can believe that.”

“I don’t think it is me you need to apologise to, she told me what happened.”

“And i feel awful about it Rooster, I should never have brought up your father, and I shouldn’t have brought up Loki.”

“So what are you going to do about it Bagman?”

“I don’t know, also why do you care this is meant to be me apologising to you.”

“You said you were sorry, I haven’t forgiven you yet sure but right now it is about getting her to forgive you.”

“Again, why do you care I would have thought you would be happy we aren’t talking after all she is your sister and you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, I don’t like you that much but I don’t hate you, besides she is happy when she is with you and when she is with Daisy. That’s all a brother can ask for is it not.” I nod at his statement and we both turn around to look at Athena and Phoenix on still on the pool table looking care free. I see Rooster light up as he looks at Phoenix.

“So when are you and Phoenix gonna stop dancing around each other and admit you both love each other?” I ask Rooster with a smirk until he retorts.

“When are you and Athena.”

“Touche” I say as we clink beers. We are out there for a little bit longer when we here the bar door swing open.

“Roo,” I hear Athena behind us and I spin “oh hi Hangman, didn’t know you were here.” I falter a little at the use of my callsign,

“What’s up Baby Ice?” Bradley responds with the nickname the ’86 squad adorned her as Ice became more protective.

“Phoenix and I are ready to go and by that I mean, Bob is currently holding her hair back, the last tequila shooters didn’t sit well.” At the notion of Phoenix being sick Bradley took off running in the direction of the bathrooms.

“Idiots.” Athena mumbles as she walks across to stand next to me looking out at the ocean.

“What are you calling them idiots for?”

“They don’t know that they are in love with each other.” I laugh at her comment.

“Athena, I am…”

“Don’t say you are sorry Jake. Not right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because, I am not far behind the state of Phoenix and I don’t think I will remember any of this night come tomorrow morning.” I look at her as her head drops forward.

“Okay I think I can see Rooster taking Phoenix and Bob home” I stop mid sentence as I see Bob also walking funny and swaying trying to keep up with Rooster. “Y/N did you two get Bob drunk?” She just laughed and nodded at my question causing me to laugh, as I look at Y/N she suddenly sways and I catch her as she falls and pick her up bridle style.

“Okay, time to get you home as well.” I walk to my truck waving to Penny as we leave her just holding a thumbs up, knowing she was giving me permission to come back tomorrow to ring up the tab for the girls. I put Y/N in the passenger seat and run around jumping in the drivers seat.

Y/N POV

I rolled over noticing I was in my bed and vividly remembering Jake carrying me to in last night after bringing me home from the Hard Deck, I looked at the clock seeing the time was on 0830, I sat up groaning and rubbed my eyes when I heard movement on the other side of the bed I turn to see Jake laying in the bed next to me.

“What the hell Jake!” He sat up with a start looking very confused. “Why the hell are you in my bed.”

“Why are you shouting at me, you didn’t want me to leave last night so I didn’t”

“Well I want you to leave now, I am still mad at you.” He nodded.

“I know I was going to apologise last night you told me not to because you wouldnt remember” i sighed and rubbed my eyes vaguely remembering having that conversation.

“If you make me coffee and breakfast I will listen to what you have to say.” I don’t think I had ever seen Jake move so quickly and I let out a little laugh before a groan as the thud in my head came back. I quickly ran to the bath room to tie my hair up and brush my teeth I look down at the top I am wearing with my flannel short noticing it is a shirt of Jakes from his last deployment which made me smile a bit. I made my way out to the kitchen where Jake was starting some pancakes, I sit at the bench where there is already a cup of coffee sitting.

“Why I am I wearing your shirt?” Jake jumped at the sound of my voice confirming he had not heard me enter the kitchen.

“Uh…you kind of threw up and got some on your other shirt, it was the first shirt I could find.” He said sheepishly.

“Remind me to not do tequila shooters with Phoenix again.” Jake laughed at that comment. We continued to make small talk mainly about Daisy and how spoilt she would currently be staying with the array of grandparents while Jake finished the pancakes. As he started to dish them up we moved to the small dining table and started eating. Jake stops half way through one and looks down.

“Peaches…” I falter at the nickname I only ever hear when talking to Jakes family, one that Jake himself hasn’t used since flight school, he used my call sign or my real name, unlike Jake, I liked being called by my call sign so much my family will call me Athena. “I cannot even begin to say how sorry I am for yesterday.”

“Which part Jake you said a lot yesterday.”

“You know which part..”

“Loki…” I say in a small voice.

“I should never have brought him let alone throw him in your face saying you didn’t train him well enough and I should not have blamed you for his death like that.”

“But, you were right.”

“What?” Jake says in a shocked panicked voice.

“It is my fault he didn’t come home, it should have been me that got shot down but instead it was him, I didn’t have his back.” Jake moved from his seat to kneel next to me moving me to face him as he grabs my cheek that has tears rolling down them.

“No.” He said in a stern voice “It was not your fault Y/N. I read the report, you were fighting off two of them you could not have done anything to help.”

“Then why do I feel like it is my fault.”

“Because you haven’t lost a wingman before Y/N and you are always the one making sure everyone else is coming home that now you have lost a wingman you don’t know what to feel, and it will not get better but it will get easier and I should have never used it against you when you are feeling like this, I can understand if you can’t forgive me but please know how sorry I am.”

“I forgive you Jake, I forgave you yesterday, I know the amount of stress that everyone is under at the moment, and I know we all say dumb stuff we don’t mean when we do that.” Jake pulled me into a tight hug which I returned.

“Now lets eat, Mav sent a text asking everyone to meet at the beach this afternoon for a team bonding exercise.” It brought a smile to my face and Jake groaned out an oh no.

A few hours later

“Dogfight football” I say loudly and Rooster looks at me with a huge grin. “Offence and defence at the same time, Mav is going to split the teams” I heard a collective groan from everyone.

“Team 1: Rooster, Hangman, Pheonix, Bob, Coyote, Payback, Fanboy and Athena, Team 2: Halo, Fitz, Omaha, Harvard, Yale, Iceman, Zeus and me.” I look at Mav with a perplexed look and spin to see uncle Ice and my dad walking down to meet the group, mum, Sarah and Daisy following close behind until she sees me and Jake standing next to each other. She runs into Jakes arms the two of them hugging before she requested to be handed to me to give me a hug.

“UNCLE JAVY!” She screamed in my ear, so I placed her down and she ran too Coyote who picked her up spinning her around in the air.

“And our referee, Hondo and Daisy will be helping him.” Everyone laughs as Hondo picks up Daisy and put her on his shoulders.

As an hour goes by dogfight footy has started to get very competitive between the squad and the teams had started to blur everyone just wanting to have fun. I look at Mav with a look that says we have been successful in creating a team between our squads. Daisy has retired to sit with Aunt Sarah and Mum as well as Penny who has come down from the bar to watch “the game” but we knew she was really just here to watch Maverick.

We were caught up with the game when we heard a scream come from Daisy. The whole team immediately stops to look in the direction only to see Daisy being thrown over Jays shoulder with him sprinting towards the ocean, pretending to throw her in though being very cautious not too as she was still healing, standing next to Phoenix and Halo we all start to laugh when we see Rooster Fanboy and Jake share a look very similar to the one Ice, Dad and Mav were wearing. 

“Jake, no! Halo Phe RUN!” I scream and we all take off in different directions Fanboy chasing Halo, Rooster chasing Phoenix and Jake taking off after me, Mum Aunt Sarah and Aunt Penny seemed to pick up all of them also taking off being chased by their respective partners. I heard all of them screaming as they got caught Jake still trying to catch me when I suddenly feel his arm around my waist and I get hoisted up over his shoulder. I look around to see all the females in the same position getting carried towards the water.

“Jake, let me go.”

“Sorry Peaches no can do”

“Jake I mean it put me down!”

“As you wish” he says and I can here the smirk in his face as he drops me in the water submerging my entire body. As I surface I see Halo Phoenix Mum Sarah and Penny all resurface as well all the boys wearing proud smirks, we share a look and hear a few of them mumble an oh no as we all spring to our feet and tackle the boys into the water wiping the smirks of their faces. As I tackle Jake he holds onto my waist dragging me down with him and doesn’t let go even after we surface.

“Feeling better Peaches.”

“I don’t know Hangman I think I am mad at you again.” I say saying using his callsign with a smirk on my face. “Take that back Peaches that is not my name to you.” I shake my head still wearing a smirk, when suddenly Jake loosen his grip on me and starts to tickle me, I start squirming and manage to break free sprinting to where my dad is standing with Ice screaming help as I run closer, for a split second they were concerned until they saw the smile on my face and Jake chasing after me. I am hiding on the middle of the and miss the look that they shared and all of a sudden Ice grabbed my ankle and dad grabbed me under my arms, and started swimming.

“No! Dad Uncle Ice please no!” They laugh as they then let me go launching me into the water. I surface to see Rooster, Phoenix, Jake, Mav, Ice and Dad laughing and clutching their stomachs.

“I hate all of you” I say with a serious face until I join them in the laughter. We all then headed up towards the beach to where our bags were. I started looking for my towel when I suddenly felt it wrap around my shoulders looking up to find Jake smiling down at me giving me a quick kiss to the top of my hair. We dried off and Penny decided to close the HardDeck so the we could have a “family” BBQ. After a few hours I was sitting speaking with Mum Aunt Sarah and Aunt Penny, watching Rooster Payback and Fanboy dote over Daisy with a smile on my face when I catch Jake looking at me whilst in conversation with Ice and Dad. I feel a tap on my shoulder and see Mav standing there signalling to have a chat in private.

“Uncle Mav, what’s up?”

“You have to pick the teams this week, just got a message from Cyclone the missions been moved up. I sigh looking down before looking back into the bar, where Daisy is now on Roosters shoulders while he plays piano and everyone is singing and laughing and my face drops to wear a sad look, what I didn’t notice was that Jake and my dad had seen my change in demeanour.

“They aren’t ready yet.” Mav nods.

“I know we are going to run the whole course Monday, you are gonna be up in the air to intercept them.” I nod in response, “come on lets go back in.”

“You go Uncle Mav, I will meet you back in there.” He nods and returns to the bar.

“You know I haven’t seen that look on your face since we told you Ice was sick.”

“Dad. I didn’t see you there.” I say wiping my cheek as I spin to where he standing. He sees this and drags me into a tight hug.

“What’s wrong sweetie.”

“The Mission, it has been moved up.” He nods moving next to me to look at the ocean, “I am guessing Uncle Ice told you how dangerous it is.”

“He did, and you know too so what is wrong you have flown missions like this before.”

“But not with my family. Cyclone has told me I need to pick a team from the members being posted here next to be a permanent squad.”

“The navy as grand and good as it is doesn’t care much for that does it.” I shake my head.

“I am not picking Jake, I cannot risk both of us being on that mission I cannot do that to Daisy, which leaves me with Rooster and Coyote, Rooster is my brother how can I do this to him, and to Carole and Goose. How can I do this to Maverick.”

“You don’t have a choice sweetie, and non of them will or would have blamed you for this decision. You need your wingman up there.” I nod, “Is there any other reason you are not picking Jake besides Daisy, from all I have heard he is the best pilot there besides you and Mav.”

“I can’t trust him up there Dad, I need someone that won’t do something stupid if something happens to me.”

“Nothing will happen to you.”

“Dad be realistic I know that everyone is saying that but when have we ever been unrealistic with each other, someone isn’t coming home from this, and I will not loose another wingman.”

“You are right doesn’t mean any of us are willing to believe it, we all know what you would do, but you have a family to come home to, and I am not just talking about me and your mum and aunts and uncles, Jake and Daisy need you too.”

“They don’t not as much as they think, look at them,” we turn to see them all laughing and having fun, “Daisy has her village just like I did with your squad, nothing bad will happen to her.”

“She needs you too Y/N, to her you are her mother.”

“But I am not, and when Jake finally settles down that person will take that role.”

“For someone so smart you can be so dumb sometimes you know that, maybe you do take after Ice a little he was like this with Sarah.”

“What do you mean?”

“You will work it out love. But for now lets make the most of the time before the mission, and get back in there before your mum send a search party.”

“Thank you dad I love you.”

“I love you to sweetie.” With that we walk inside and I walk up slipping beside Jake who throws his arm around my waist looking down at me with a look that asks if I am okay I just nod as we turn back to where Daisy is now on Bobs shoulders as they dance with Phoenix, Rooster still on the piano.

After a few more hours, Daisy begins to get tired so Jake and I head home, all the drama of yesterday forgotten and forgiven with the family filled day that we had.

The next morning, I hear my door crack open and hear a set of little feet start running toward my bed.

“Mama, Daddy cooked pancakes.”

“Did he baby, well best we go eat them before he eats all of them on us.” I say scooping her into my arms and walking toward the kitchen where Jake is putting pancakes on the table.

“Pancakes two days in a row, you sure you didn’t do something stupid again.” Jake rolls his eyes causing me to laugh as I set Daisy down and Jake moves a plate of pancakes infront of her. As I sit next to her and Jake takes his normal seat on the other side I see the look in his face wanting to ask what I was talking to my Dad about last night. As he goes to speak, I beat him to it.

“So I don’t know about Princess Daisy, but I think this would be a perfect movie day, what do you say.” Daisy nodded excitedly as she ate her pancakes.

“Well guess I should go pick out some movies.” Jake says with a smile. After we cleaned up breakfast all three of us moved to the couch to watch movies about 4 movies in and after dinner daisy started drifting off to sleep. Jake moves out from where I am curled up under his arm and picks Daisy up and moves her to her bedroom.

“I feel like we have had this conversation before but are you going to tell me what’s wrong.” I hear from behind the couch indicating Jake had returned.

“You will find out tomorrow when we get to work.” Jake nods and walks around the couch to stand in front of me, he picks me up walking towards my bedroom.

“What are you doing?”

“Bed time if the princess has to go to bed so do you.” With that he throws me on my bed and I squeal glaring at him and he lays down on the bed next to me, like muscle memory I curl into his side resting my head on his chest and he pulls me tighter and places a kiss on my head as I fall asleep.

It was now late in the day and we had been running course after course with still no one having flown it successfully within the needed time frame. I sigh as Rooster, Payback and Fanboy land. 

“Mav this isn’t working. They need to be quicker.” He nods.

“I think it is time you go up there act as an enemy craft on the way to intercept.”

“Yes sir.” I move to my jet and run into Rooster and Hangman on my way. They give me a nod as I continue to the tarmac.

“Ma’am!” I turn to see Jake, “Be safe up there we are all getting tired.”

“Thank you Hangman.” I say with a bit of a wink. When I am in the air I finally catch up to Coyote Phoenix and Bob, when I here Bob panic as I come onto his radar.

“Blue Team, you have been spotted by an enemy aircraft.” I can hear them talk amongst themselves as they decide to continue with the course to the target, as they get to the target they drop their missile and miss the target as they pull up I get tone on Phoenix and Bob.

“Phoenix, Bob, that’s a kill, level out.”

“Copy Athena.” I hear Phoenix reply, I look to see Coyote still gaining altitude. 

“Coyote, level wings….Coyote respond…..Oh my god he is in G-Lock.” I say with a panicked tone before moving my jet to try and get a lock on his plane, “come on give me tone.” I say as I see him losing altitude, I here my missile lock tone and scream his name and at the last second he pulls up and levels out next to Phoenix.

“That was close.”

“Yes it was Pheonix, alright enough for the day let’s head back” I say popping up in front of them. We are flying back when I suddenly feel my plan jolt and something hit the canopy. 

“BIRDSTRIKE!”

JAKES POV

I feel my heart plummet as I hear Athena yell birdstrike. I look at Rooster as we listen to the radio.

“Right Engine is on fire, extinguishing now. Anyone else hit?” I hear her working through the process.

“We are clear Athena.”

“Great throttling up left engine is still spinning restarting it.”

“Athena you’re on fire don’t start…” I hear Bob yell with panic in his voice.

“Shit, extinguishing left engine, losing altitude.”

“Punch out Athena you cannot save it.” I hear Coyote yell and I feel like I am going to pass out when I feel Payback hand on my shoulder Fanboy doing the same to Rooster.

“Trying to restart engines.”

“Athena Punch Out. Eject. Eject.” Phoenix screams through the radio.

“Shit, Ejecting! Ejecting!”

“Coyote did you see a shoot?” I hear Bob ask panic evidence in his voice.

“No. I didn’t see a shoot. Send a rescue team control, Athena is down.”

Taglist:

@dory-98 @djs8891 @brooke-stinson

[lizzieicecreamqueen]

TW: Slight mentions of self harm and depression. HEARTSTOPPER SEASON 3 SPOILERS!

Alright so I finished heartstopper season 3 and omfggggggg def the best one! It was a total rollercoaster of emotions but i feel that that´s the reason i liked it so much, cause it expresses teen years perfectly. As a person that deals with sh and depression, the way its portrated on the show its just really beautiful. Alice and the whole cast did an amazing job. Im speecheless. I got to cry and laugh within less than 1 minute, and thats how life also feels like. I really enjoyed Michael aswell!!!!!!!! I giggled everytime he appeared on screen, hes my pookie frfr. And my baby Oliver 🥹🥹🥹 The only things that i didnt like are the fact that Sarah (nicks mum) isnt there and that we didnt get to see Tori coming out to Charlie. Mostly the last thing, it was a scene that i was really looking forward to :( I also wish the episodes had been a little longer/they would have added more eps cause some things were a bit overlooked. I mean, they fitted volume 4, 5 & This winter in 8 episodes of 30 mins each. But overall I really enjoyed it. I hope that when the 6th volume comes out we can get a fourth season with the contents of it + Nick & Charlie (●'◡'●)

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 13

Wait, what? A few days earlier from when????

Wait, I thought she wasn't allowed to say anything about the future. How does giving her brother winning lottery numbers not count?

Dude, that is literally your job. He escaped from your custody in the first place!

I mean it sounds bad when you say it like that...

She should form a 'time travel compulsive liar' club with Shen Wei

Well now her mum know she was lying because Sunjae just showed up, and Sunjae has just figured out she was faking having gone back to the future. Im Sol is going to be in so much trouble!

I see this a lot in dramas. Do Korean phone messages really know if the phone has been turned off or is it just a plot device?

Sunjae is apparently way more worried about her than her own mother

I mean I can see why she's freaking out. She's already in the past, and she's run out of time travel attempts (still not sure why that is) so if something happens to him now there's no way for her to fix it. Even if she hadn't run out of time travel attempts can she even go further back into to past? All three times she's travelled from 2023 and she's never gone further back than when she ended up the first time.

Oh, no, but if the serial killer is watching her then he now knows that the cops are there. Oh no.

Yeah, sure, why bother looking for him when his face is on some posters. I do admire their commitment to doing a little as possible. All of the useful things they've done are only because Im Sol told them to. And the dude escaped 5 mins after they caught him.

Oh no she screamed for help and scared him off and now he's run into Sunjae instead. That's going to do nothing to help with the huge amound of guilt she already has.

OH SHIT!

Oh no and now the sad Jongho song is playing this is not good

Holy fuck he just went off the cliff! I mean I guess this isn't the end because, you know, it's not the end and there's still another 3 episodes left but I have no idea how this is going to get fixed this time! Wow.

Well shit.

Aww no he's a soloist now I DON'T LIKE THIS

I feel like I've seen him in something before but according to MDL I have not. Although Under the Queen's Umbrella is on my to watch list

Ah, there she is. This is what I love most about her. And obv I am sad about Sunjae but I am sure that will get resolved before the end.

Ooh I think this is the first time we've seen Taesung in the present day

Taesung is a cop now? Aww he followed in his dad's footsteps in the end. Maybe he'll be a bit more efficient

I do like that while she's clearly still grieving for Sunjae she remembered what he said about saving her being his choice so she's trying to respect that choice. And there's time for drunken angry resignation letter shenanigans

(Brian Blessed voice) SUNJAE'S ALIVE?????

HE TIME TRAVELLED AS HE WAS DYING!!! I was trying to figure out how this was going to get fixed and this didn't even cross my mind. I love that nothing in this drama is predictable

Okay, he didn't time travel but that's when his watch became a new time machine and Im Sol used it so that she never met Sunjae at all. THIS IS SO TRAGIC.

[mossynebula]

The boys learning each others languages

Jiang (Chinese/Korean)

K struggling to speak Chinese but Swan is great at it

Jiang constantly having to correct Skov on the inflections in Chinese

Swan helping Proko with the alphabet in Korean cause he can't for the life of him wrap his head around it

Skov and K arguing about certain Korean words whilst Jiang sits back knowing both of them are wrong

Proko genuinely tears up when Jiang passes him a list of basic words in Chinese

K laughs at him

Jiang comforts him and says he doesn't have to learn Chinese

Skov says its not fair and get hit in the eye with an eraser

Swan can hold basic convos in Chinese with Jiang but cant read it

Skov learns as many insults as he can in both Korean and Chinese

everyone gets excited when they finally recognise some of the words Jiang says to his mum on call

They all agree to collectively throw Chinese out the window and just learn Korean

Kavinsky (Bulgarian)

They all know a few words due to Kav blasting Bulgarian rap all the time

All of them (except Jiang) know/ understand the Cyrillic alphabet

Skov learns all the swear words first

Swan is ready to punch him

Proko learns the history behind the language and ends up learning old 12-16th century words

K is ready to punch him

Jiang stared at the alphabet for a solid 5 mins in confusion

" what the fuck is that?" *points at Ж*

K downloads (in a totally legal way. yup.) primary school lessons for Jiang

J actually uses them

Its one of the easier languages they learn together

Skov (Ukrainian)

Skov starts by teaching them how to cuss someone out RIGHT in Ukranian

J mixes up Ш and Щ

K says its far too easy (he forgets simple words)

Proko learns the history behind it again

he also learns the national anthem on a dare and hums it to himself often

Skov is a shit teacher

Swan takes over

Jiang thanks him endlessly

Kav switches the tv subtitles over to Ukrainian and they all realise its way easier to learn a language like that

Proko now knows exactly how to argue back with Skov and everyone is ready to bury them both

along with Bulgarian, Ukrainian is the easiest language they learn

Proko (Russian/Belarusian)

we all what Skov is going to do by now (he already knows a lot of swears in Russian)

Proko does a crash course in the history of the languages and their roots/links to other slavic languages

everyone is actually interested

K becomes obsessed with Russian pop and rap songs

Jiang is getting really good at Slavic languages now and he's really proud of himself (the others are too)

Swan excels at both as usual (smart motherfucker)

Jiang finds himself using Russian the most out of all their languages (except his own ofc)

Skov prefers using Russian cuss words cause he says they sound more aggressive

Proko and Skov decided to put different anime and cartoons into Russian dub and couldn't stop laughing and trying to copy it

K was unimpressed

Jiang asks Proko to teach him the history behind the other slavic languages they've learned

Belarussian is used less frequently between them all but they hear it from Proko when his dad calls

K learns Belarussian first cause he likes Prokos dad

Swan (English/French/Quechua)

Swan helps the boys in English class with essays and such

Proko and Jiang mix up their grammar sometimes and Swan helps correct them

K likes to ask him what random words mean, he thinks it annoys him but Swan enjoys teaching

Skov makes fun of him if he accidently misspells something

"you don't know how to spell something in your own language?!"

Skov misspells words in Ukrainian all the time but denies it

Proko hears Swan speaking French to his mum and falls in love a little

Jiang asks Swan to translate random sentences into French, just to hear him speak it

K hates learning French, calls it "stupid fancy English with shitty letters"

Jiang struggles with learning the silent letters and sounds

Its the easiest language they learn, but they almost never use it except with Swans mother

Swan only speaks Quechua with his dad (his dad is from Peru)

He refuses to teach the boys Quechua

[icyberrydoesthat]

the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me

while eating my grapes, i pondered, as one should while consuming such delicacies. i pondered about the limits of the internet, love, boys, where i could acquire more grapes and then reprimanded myself for thinking about boys...anyway the only thing you should take away from that is the internet bit. i realized that i can share whatever about myself and no one will ever know its me ~ except me!

thus, we get into the story of the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me. let me set the scene, its thursday, period 5 (last period) and i have fucking science. you wouldnt think it was science though because of the way the teacher kept weaseling maths into there. im tired, really tired. im sat in the middle row of the class, but at the very end, so ive got a lovely, cosy wall to lean and people watch. my classrooms what they would call a "super classroom" - two classes put together because one teacher is off on extended leave. ive got two of my friends to my left and ive been drifting in and out of their conversation, behind me is a boy. hes not drop dead gorgeous, but he is charismatic, funny and taller than me (im 5'7), dont get me wrong hes not ugly, its just his personality elevates his looks (he has dimples aswell ugh). i dont notice at first but my friend is tapping me on the shoulder and pointing behind me, to the boy, lets call him C. C has my bag, which was on the floor, propped on his lap, and is rummaging around. he sees me but continues, at first im like wtf but i soon realize this is an opening !! i say, "can u put my bag down", not annoyed or anything, just confused. C complies straight away so im really confused on why he had it in the first place. i turn back around. about 10 mins later, someones tapping me again, lowkey i hate getting tapped so i turn around kinda sharply. C bursts out laughing, saying the expression on my face is hilarious, the teacher shouts at me to turn around. again he taps me, this time theres something on his desk...my juicebox? seeing my confused face, he points to it. i ask him if he wants it but he shakes his head no, i look closer and i see a number written , a phone number. im biting my lips to keep them straight, my heart rate is elevated and my legs are buzzing. did he just write his phone number on my juicebox!? thats so old school, but so damn attractive. i turn back around, juicebox in hand. i look closer at the numbers....why do i recognize the handwriting ?? oh snap...i realize, its my mums handwiting....its really distinct and the starting numbers arent even britans ones (07 or +44) theyre frances. he taps me again, but this time im mad, i dont even know why. i turn around for the last time, fully understanding the situation, he saw numbers on my juicebox, curious, he took it out and pointed at it because he was questioning it.......i ended up giving the juicebox to a friend. the crush started and ended in that class and now we're friends!

xoxo

A

ps: sorry this is long i just needed to get it off my shoulders

pps: dont fall in love x

[confusedspaceotter]

Daily avatrice analysis (day 4)

day1 day2 day3 day4 day5 day6 day7 day8 day9

apologies if this is bit of a mess, had a bit of trouble trying to put my thoughts into words, which is why there's so many gifs/pics today

now without further ado

So

Ep 6

now you might be wondering

cause there isn’t a avatrice interaction in ep 6

or is there?

may i present the last 5 mins of ep 6

when Bea show up and pick up Mary

(I would like to headcanon Bea volunteered to come all the way to pick up Mary not only because Mary is her friend but because she suspects Mary already found Ava and she wanted to see her)

And I would like to think that I’m right(Bea your gay is showing people don’t just stared at your left mirror standing like that)

Look the Mary’s face when Bea asks is Ava coming 

She knows.

Mary, probably:

Anyway now back to ep 7

before i talk about the “Beatrice is a badass” scene 

Two things i wanna talk about 

One

How do I know Mary knows something is up with Beatrice and Ava?

One episode later she basically compared what Shannon is to her 

To what Ava is to Bea 

“Letting Duretti get away with murder”

That’s 100% about Shannon

Now we all know who Shannon is to Mary ;)

The fact that she used their relationship and tried to convinced Bea hey you gotta do something you girl friend might die if you don’t 

Yeah she knows definitely 

And Two, this conversation between Bea and Camila

fun fact, Camila is this first one to call Beatrice Bea 

I would like to headcanon that whenever Bea were tasked to train new recruits, in order to make them feel more comfortable, at some point Beatrice would let them call her Bea as is sign of closeness(Kinda like a “ My name is Yasmin Khan but my friends call me yaz situation)

Or is just Camila being Camila 

either way is cute asf 

and I love that Ava after being trained by Bea for two months calls her Bea most of the time too

just look them IM-

Remember when I said that she is not good at initiating physical contact yet her love language is physical touch?

This is what I meant 

There’s still a slight hesitation but she definitely are more comfortable here

make sense cause she did know Camila longer compare to Ava

plus Bea is her mentor/mum 

Beatrice and Camila is THE softest duo istg

Now

on to the famous “beatrice is a badass” scene 

Got nothing to say except yes Ava I agree she IS a badass

Look at how Ava admires Beatrice awwww

Tbh same girl seeing Bea kick ass like that does things to me too

Bea calling out(? sister Crimson’s next move 

Coolest shit I seen(at least one of them there are plenty of cool scenes in the show

Also that outfit?????

They never missed with Bea’s casual outfit 

Whether is in S1 or S2

Not a single one look bad 

I swear imo every outfit deserves to be show off in a fashion show or something 

And that side kick(? Damnnnnnn girl 

She really likes to side kick people 

(Anyone who know what this move is called I know nothing about martial arts)

And she looks cool doing it 

We can also see the kid Ava showing 

Look at her smile I’m-

girl must think that Beatrice is really cool and reminds her of those action heros she used to saw on TV

Just pure admiration from Ava

Now some people think that the halo is sentient 

Some think that it only acts as a tool and the one whos in change is the halo bearer 

Personally I’m leaning towards the halo is just a tool the one who’s in control is the user

And how powerful it can be is up to the bearer

Because in ep 3 when she is tied to the table 

I’m guessing all she’s thinking is how to free herself

And the halo reacted to her thoughts by phasing her though the bed, freeing her

I think the same happened here 

All she is thinking is how to save Beatrice and Mary

From the trajectory of the bullets(the slow mo at the end of the gif )

Is going the opposite side from where Mary and Bea is

Here’s a chart(? I draw to demonstrate this

(Handwriting reveal?)

Anyway my point is

Ava and Mary’s sibling dynamic is real 

And Ava might be a cocky little shit (affectionate) towards Mary sometimes but she cares about Mary

Next we see that Ava got shot by an arrow

And Bea rushing to her side immediately 

No thoughts just 

All hail protective Beatrice 

Oh also has this been done before

Now something that I noticed from the walk to the van I want to talk about

One 

Bea putting her hand on Ava’s waist to support her

Two 

How she practically jumped on the van to check on Ava

And it doesn’t end

Baby girl checked not once but twice on Ava’s wound

I can hear Camila going 

Bea? Did you just check her wound twice???

Now this could just be a simple error 

They accidentally included an extra shot

But being the overthinker that I am

I would like to believe Bea was so worried about Ava that she had to check twice

This scene is giving Clarke Griffin from the 100 coming to Lexa’s room and change her perfectly fine bandages to a random cloth just so she could talk to Lexa

Bea chill out she’s not gonna die she can heal herself 

Anddd that’s it for today 

Tmr is gonna be a long one

And it might get personal too but who knows 

Stay tuned to find out :)

day5

[hughungrybear]

Me while watching Cherry Magic Thailand Ep. 5:

Just can't imagine how loud Karan's internal screaming was when he realised Big Sis was kicking him out of his own house and making him move to Achi's house 😂

1. What's with GMMTV showing us what perfect boyfriends should look (and act) like? 😅 If I cannot have my own Mhok (from Last Twilight), please give me a Karan 😭😭😭

2. Not Auntie dissing Achi in front of Karan 😂😂😂 Karan would defend his beloved little cinnamon roll to the ends of the earth, y'know? 😆

3. I kennat with Karan's internal off-key singing 😂 Also, what's up with this early morning, pre-office work date? Pai would definitely have a seizure if she knew that her ship is doing all these romantic things without her witnessing it 🤣🤣🤣

4. Under normal circumstances, Karan's wild imagination would turn and scare anyone off. However, the fact that he is so sweet, considerate, and can control most of his delusions to stay in his imagination is his saving grace. I think it's one of the main reasons why Achi has not run for the hills yet 😂😂😂

5. Oh, boy. Jinta has gone the deep ends of his fanboying Min 😂 He is barely doing any work. At this point, Jinta ultimately matches Karan's intensity when it comes to dealing with crushes lol

6. In all my years as an Asian employee, I have not encountered an office with a rule as silly as "no going home before the boss". As soon as the clock hits 5pm, me and my colleagues are out of the office lol Boss can take care of themself (Well, the employer WILL STILL TRY to guilt you into working overtime without pay. It's just up to you if you let them get under your skin 😅).

Also, nice of Rock to unintentionally save Achi from Karan's wild "just married" imagination.

7. Awww. Karan don't be jealous of Rock. He is just a baby 😣😣😣 Just think of Rock as your adopted son. 😅 Also, ngl, that soup with Mama OK! noodles looked good (prolly because I have not eaten any breakfast yet).

8. Aaargh! Nooo, Achi also took Rock to that secret breakfast place. No wonder Karan is dying of jealousy. 🙃

9. No, Min. Jinta is not embrassed to be seen with you. But he will prolly die swooning at the back of your motorbike on the way to Achi's office 😂😂😂

10. I had it with these mind-reading bffs 😂😂😂 Karan's imagination was running wild with all the touching Jinta and Achi were doing whilst having conversation about what is the acceptable amount of "handsy" can Jinta get away with Min 😂😂😂

11. Oh? Rock and Min were in that disbanded crew? I have not looked at that photo from Rock's phone properly.

12. Ah, Rock, that's an immature thing to do. It's only natural to be scared and want a more stable professional life. But you should have talked it out with your friends properly - not just ghost them. At least, Pai has the right idea 😁

13. So, Min and Rock's song is the Mama OK ad (originally sung by KristSingto, OffGun, and BrightWin)??? Lol I know Pai's character is supposed to be aroace, but I have been a SingJan shipper since forever so forgive me if I get a bit excited with how things are going lol

Oh my. Karan finally confessed his feelings to Achi!!! Also, hello there, P'Lookwa (Fourth's mum in MSP and MLC). And in next episode we're going to finally see what made Karan fall for Achi in the first place 😊

[sometimes-sophie88]

First official post, the story so far.

It’s quite a read, but I want people to know my journey thus far, and what I envision for myself in the future.

For years I’ve struggled with defining my identity. I want to be a woman, I was meant to be a woman, but it was difficult expressing my true self with the culture I was growing up in.

“You’re a big guy, you must’ve played rugby” they’d say. No, I didn’t.

I think I was about 7 or 8 when I first wore girls clothes. I got them out of my sisters wardrobe (she’s 4 years older), a pink satin skirt with the matching satin and lace top. My parents were still in the house, where would be the last place they’d look, I thought to myself, laying next to the bed on the far side of the room. Not the best choice if I say so.

I was lost in the moment, caressing the satin and enjoying how it felt on my skin. It was blissful. That was until my mum came in and caught me. Uh oh, I’m caught. She wasn’t angry, just wondering what I was doing, so I told her I liked how it felt. She made me get changed back into boy clothes, and apologise to my sister for taking her clothes, which I did.

Over the following few months, whenever I got the chance, I’d sneak back in and borrow the same outfit to wear. Sometimes I could only do it for a few minutes, other times I’d hide them until it was time for bed, once the light was off, I’d get back up to get changed into them, then get back into bed.

I was fairly certain my parents knew what I was doing, especially as my sister stopped wearing them.

Fast forward 5 years to when I was 13, it was my first year in high school, my sister was in her final year. We’d moved into a bigger house, I’d grown a bit taller than my sister at this point, but she was that age where she’d go out shopping or to the cinema with her friends on the weekend.

Her wardrobe was updated, it was the year 2000. There was metallic tops, short skirts & platform shoes. The Spice Girls had just released their 3rd album, Forever, teenage girls wanted to be them and dress like them, they were role models for teenage girls the world over. The boys would always say which Spice Girl they’d most like to be with, but then there was me, fantasising about looking like Baby Spice, with blonde pig tails, a mini skirt and my make up done.

I was at that age where my parents could leave me alone in the house for a short period of time when mum would leave, but dad would be there in 10-15 mins. My room was on the second storey, with a window overlooking the driveway, and access to the balcony which wrapped right around, past my sisters room and my parents room.

Mum would leave with my sister, I already knew what I wanted to wear, I had time constraints, so I had to be prepared. I’d wave to them from the front door as they drove down the driveway, as soon as they were on the road, I raced upstairs, searching for what I wanted in my sisters room.

I was searching for a beige bodysuit, a white mini skirt with a belt detail and a long sleeve brown crop top with a knot detail in the front. I found them, so I ran back to my room to get dressed as quick as I could with the time I had left. I stepped into the bodysuit with a bit of an issue fastening the poppers in my crotch, but I finally did them up. Then I put the mini skirt on, and then the crop top. The bodysuit had padded cups, but it wasn’t enough under the top, I wanted more “oomph”, so I rolled up some socks and positioned them underneath, much better, I looked grown up and hot, but there was still something missing. So I raced back to my sisters room, grabbed a pair of wedge sandals and a lipstick off her make up table, then it was back to my room to finish the look.

But then there was a car horn sounding, my dad had just got home, so I got back to my room and quickly got undressed and the boy clothes were back on. But what should I do with the other clothes, it was too late to put them back, so I stashed them under my bed, in fact, I was planning on wearing them again that night when I was going to bed.

I had to get downstairs, as I got there, my dad was just walking through the door, he must’ve known I was up to my old self, sneaking around wearing girls clothes. That night, I went to bed, light off and door closed. My parents were still downstairs watching tv, now is my chance, I need to get changed, in my head I was imagining that I was old enough to go out, but I had to get dressed up first, can’t be going out wearing boy pyjamas, what would my girlfriends think.

So there I was, dressed in the crop top and mini skirt, with the bodysuit as my underwear (I didn’t know what lingerie was at the time). I didn’t even think about it, the wedge sandals had to go on and apply some lipstick aswell (acne hadn’t hit me yet, so my skin was clear), I need to look like an 18 year old girl in a nightclub with my girls.

I don’t know what came over me, but next thing I know, I’m walking along the balcony, fully dressed with the heels on, creeping along as if I was sneaking out. But then, I heard the TV turn off downstairs, my parents were going to bed, I had to get back to my room, get under the covers and act like I was asleep when they came to check on me.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, the door opens and my mum walks in to wish me goodnight. I was tucked up under the covers, fully dressed still in girls clothes. It was summer and I had duvet over me to hide the clothes I was wearing. I was starting to sweat because of the bodysuit, so my mum thought I was sick and running a fever. I insisted I was ok, but she was trying to take the duvet off me while I’m trying to hold it down. She eventually pulls the covers back, and sees me laying there dressed in clothes I shouldn’t have had on in her eyes.

She gets me out of bed, walks me down the hallway to her bedroom, and tells me to sit on the edge of the bed while she goes to talk to my dad in the bathroom. I didn’t know what to think, I’d been caught red handed again wearing my sisters clothes.

They both came back out after a few minutes, sat on the bed, and made me stand in front of them. Then the questioning began: “Why are you wearing that?” “Do you think other boys your age do the same thing?” “Do you want to be a girl?” “Are you going to wear that out to the shops and let people embarrass you?” “What are you even thinking?”.

As I anxiously stood there being bombarded with questions, all I could think about was how pretty I looked, even if I was still sweating.

Then it was time for my rebuttal, I answered their questions as best I could at the time: I’m wearing it because I like how it feels and how I look; I don’t feel like I fit in properly with the other boys; I thought about wearing it out to the shops, but in the same brain wave I also thought to myself that it wasn’t really ideal to go shopping in, it was more of an evening outfit; I was thinking about how what I was wearing made me feel, wearing it didn’t feel wrong to me, albeit I should’ve asked first before taking the clothes from my sisters room, but wearing that outfit felt comfortable for me.

Needless to say. My parents weren’t happy after they caught me, my sister on the other hand, she said I could keep those clothes, and when she found any others she didn’t wear, she’d ask if I wanted them.

A few weeks later, it was around midday, dad had flown overseas for work, my sister was at a school camp, and mum was going grocery shopping after work and she wouldn’t be home for a few hours. I was home alone at last, almost as if they’d planned to not be there to give me some time to myself.

It was warm outside, the pool was calling to me. I could go for a swim, then lay next to the pool in the sun to dry off naturally. There was only one problem, going in the pool with my board shorts on seemed like a wasted opportunity with no one around.

Time to try something different.

So off I go making my way upstairs, but as I’m walking through the living room downstairs, I see a box all wrapped up and my “birth name” written on an envelope attached to it. I had to open it to peek inside, and there, wrapped in tissue paper was a Baywatch bathing suit, red and yellow design with the logo situated near the hips. It had my name on, it was definitely for me, I had to go and put it on.

Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, I pictured myself standing with Pamela Anderson on the beach, I just needed one more thing, I quickly filled 2 water balloons at the sink and put them inside the bathing suit. Perfect. Now it’s time to go and play lifeguard next to the pool. I casually walked in to the shallow end, acting cool, then lowering myself into the water. I swam around for some time, but I still had to dry off. So I put a towel next to the pool, and lay down. I had to make sure I wasn’t there too long without sunscreen, if I got tanned or burnt with outlines of the bathing suit, who knows what could’ve happened, I didn’t even know if the box with my name on was even for today?

That was a nice afternoon by myself, I felt relaxed, but I wanted more.

Over the next 5 years, I’d dress in girls/women’s clothes whenever I could. I even pictured myself wearing the school blouse and skirt that my female classmates wore to school, or wearing a bikini under my PE uniform like the cheerleaders would do on a Wednesday when we had compulsory sport.

I had a casual job in a grocery store on the weekends from when I was sixteen and a half. Broadband was activated around that time aswell, so I could get a decent enough internet connection at home on my computer. I wanted to start experimenting and trying on other items of women’s clothing. EBay was my ally. I’d sit in my room bidding on items online.

My first online purchase that I won the bidding on was a white bridal style corset with a thong and attached suspenders, it also came with white thigh high stockings.

As I paid the seller, i couldn’t wait to receive the package and try it on. Deliveries were slow back then though. 2 weeks I waited for my parcel. As soon as it arrived, I was ecstatic to say the least.

Corsets we’re new to me, I had never worn one before, so I struggled to start with, but eventually it was on. It felt quite tight around my chest, but fashion is pain, I just needed some boobs to really bring it together. Don’t even get me started on the thong. I never considered a shoe lace up my bum to be associated with sexy lingerie.

As I was admiring my new purchase in the mirror in my room, my dad walked past, and he was not happy in the slightest. He thought I’d outgrown what I was doing, I tried telling him that I felt comfortable wearing it, but he was fuming, insisting I take it off and grow up.

That day I reluctantly took my new corset off. But whenever I was wearing a sweatshirt or a hoodie, I always had the corset and thong on underneath, whether it was around the house or short trips to the grocery store, that was until I built up the courage and started going clothes shopping on my own. Lingerie, swimwear, general fashion; I wasn’t happy with all the “boy clothes” in my wardrobe, so I started buying women’s clothes and keeping them hidden away in my wardrobe so they were difficult to find.

I’m 35 now, almost 36. As the internet kicked it up a level, I’m doing most of my shopping online. I still have to wait to receive the parcel before I can try it on to check the fit, but at the same time it’s convenient. My wardrobe now is primarily women’s, with some men’s casual shirts and trousers.

The inner desire and assumption that I should in fact be female is as strong as it was when I was younger, yet I never pushed myself to make the change. The last couple of days though has changed the mentality in my head. I’m really not comfortable with my current mental health or body image, but I’m the only one that can fix that.

I’ve got a week until the new year, and from that point, I’m going to start making some big changes for myself. I deserve to be happy, and I feel I need to change myself in order to achieve that goal. I just don’t think my bank balance will appreciate the extra spending on expanding my wardrobe again🙄

[australiablog]

14/7

Woke up at 5:30 today because I needed to pee. I slept pretty ok despite it being so cold. The extra layers really helped, I do have my portable hand warmer but I forgot to charge it, of course I did. The other days we left our sleeping bags in the swags but since today is the last day we need to take them out and roll the swags really tight. G said to do that after breakfast so they can clean up while we do that. I was up early so I did my sleeping bag before I had breakkie. If you roll up the swag with two people you can get it so much tighter as if you do it by yourself, so after breakfast everyone teamed up to roll up the swags. We stopped at a viewpoint on the way to Adelaide. It’s 450 km or so today. The view was very interesting, the topography here is so weird, very hilly with lots of trees.

After a good hour we stopped for coffee and G could get fuel. Another hour after that we stopped at Quorn, it was a town they build specifically for the train line that runs through it. It used to run 50 times a day and now only once a day, it was like stepping back in time. It reminded me of a old western somehow. I took loads of pictures for Edd, because I know he’s gonna love all of them. We spent about 45 min wandering around the little town. I am happy for the breaks in between because good lord it’s a lot of driving. At around 12:30 we dropped off the trailer at a parking lot before taking the tiny road up to alligator gorge. I was a little bit carsick before we took this drive and by the time we were halfway I was severely carsick. They had to open the windows because I was honestly scared I was gonna be sick. I was very relieved when we reached the parking. The hike into the gorge was about 3 km, in the beginning I really thought I had exaggerated hurting my foot yesterday. Didn’t think this anymore halfway through, I’m just happy it’s in a wrap so I have some support for walking. The gorge was really pretty, it was a loop walk that went all the way in the gorge to the bottom and then via rock stairs back up again. Of course it’s rock stairs, what else would it be. This whole trip seems nothing but a stairmaster workout!! The sights were worth it though. When we got to the top of the rock stairs I was surprised we were back at the bus, I thought we had to do the first part of the hike where we walked downhill. So I was pleasantly surprised that we did not have to. I swapped seats with Nick on the way back to the trailer so I could sit at the front and take a recalm just to be on the safe side. With going back I was thankfully completely fine. We had lunch at the parking lot before continuing our last stretch to Adelaide. I think I need to find a pharmacy later tonight because I got a stupid cold and all day today I’ve been coughing, it’s not a deep one. More of an irritated throat cough because I have a very sore throat. It is pissing me off though. To break the monotony we did a little pop quiz with all of us. I did not do well, I remember a lot of things but not all the aboriginal names the quiz asked for. I mean I’m honestly not surprised. I’m starting to have all kinds of little aches so I’m not mad tonight is the last night of the tour. I am really tired and it’s getting to me, I can’t even express in words how happy I am to have a bed tonight. When we stopped an hour from Adelaide I was so done with the bus. I just wanted it to be over. I bought cough drops and the Australian version of sinutab because the longer the day is taking, the worse I feel. Basically all of us are getting off at the YHA Adelaide, only nick, verena and Francesca with her mum are somewhere else. We all walked to the hostel together and the guy behind the desk was so confused we were a big group but not together. When it was my turn he said I only had two nights and I was honestly too tired to question it too much. I originally said I wasn’t going to dinner with the others but if I don’t I probably won’t eat, so I dumped my stuff in the room. It was a 4 dorm room with only one girl in there.

[bywons]

hii can i know your daily routine from morning to night. i also want to know how you manage writing and how you manage your tumblr. i want to know what major you study. i want to know because i am new to tumblr and managing time is hard for me. if you feel this ask uncomfy, you can ignore me.

afraid you asked the wrong person for this cuz my daily ( mostly evening & night ) routine is VERY different from each other throughout the whole week because of my tuition classes/study schedule TT but no probs, i'll try to give u my routine in the best way possible ^^

𖹭 MY DAILY ROUTINE

MORNING & AFTERNOON （≧∇≦）

6:00 — 6:30 am : wake up time boooo. although this time varies during exam season or when i pull an all nighter/ sleep late cuz i was watching a series, this is the usual time i wake up, or at least try to every single day ><

6:30 — 7:30 am : brushing teeth/skincare etc + morning workout & pilates. i usually try to do the first part is lesser time so that i have more time to workout & stretch ^^

7:30 — 8:05 am : break/creativity period. here i give myself a 35 minute break for relaxation or checking social media / practicing my italian lessons ( im vv beginner >< ) or draw or write short essays/poems or plan out my day which is the MAIN task i usually do

8:05 — 9:05 am ( 30 min gap 4 chai + breakfast break ) , 9:35 — 10:35 am, 10:35 — 11:45 am, 12:05 — 1:05 pm : with breaks, these timing are for my studying, and i follow my study routine for the day >< [ WHEN I DON'T ATTEND SCHOOL ]

1:05 — 3:15 pm : shower + lunch >< [ WHEN I DON'T ATTEND SCHOOL, i return at 3pm from skl ]

EVENING （≧∇≦）

3:15 — 5:00 pm : relaxing & writing for blr/watching shows ( or i sleep TT ) >< ONLY IF i don't have tuitions, when i do, i head out for them around 4:30 — 5:00 pm according to the timing of my classes.

(after break 4 evening snacks/chai) 5:30 — 6:30 pm, 6:30 — 8:30 pm, 9:00 — 10:00 pm, with breaks again, i follow my study schedule ><

NIGHTTIME （≧∇≦）

10:00 — 10:30 pm : have dinner

10:30 — 11:00 pm : ghost around my home / free time TT

within 11:30ishpm : finish skincare,brushing, and take my meds

after that o clock : 😴 but if i pull an all nighter or watch a series with my mum that's another story lol

𖹭 MY MAJOR/STREAM

well i'm still in school so i don't have any major, but we indian students are given to choose between 3 streams — science, commerce & humanities. as for me i am a science student ^^ i have bio, chem, phy, maths, psych, eng !!!

𖹭 TIME MANAGEMENT

again, a hard question to the wrong person cuz my schedule is not constant TT but as u can see there are breaks between my study sessions! i tend to manage my time and do stuff between those breaks, and when life gets too hectic, i take hour long breaks and write for blr! keep in mind, that you NEED TO BALANCE life & social media. find the right time for each of your important sectors like studies, work, hobbies & schedule them out equally! that also doesn't mean you have to follow them blindly, make sure to take breaks, do things that you enjoy & love life & most importantly, your precious self ^^ MWAH. hope i helped ya <333

[theladyofbloodshed]

I struggle with a similar situation with my partner where his low mood really impacts me and in constantly trying to keep up both happy which is draining… how do you cope with it? Do you have any advice?

I'll put this under a read more.

For us, I have to be quite blunt sometimes. We have a phrase "miserable blob". Sometimes I'm like baby are we going to be a miserable blob today or do something about that? I call him that because at weekends sometimes he will just sit there and stare at nothing or it takes him 30 mins to motivate himself to like make a drink. He hates being called that so it snaps him out of it a little bit, or he makes a conscious effort to try and snap himself out of it.

Sometimes I have to be tough and say get on with it, do x, y, z that you need to do then you can zone out.

For my partner, a lot of the issues come from the fact he doesn't like our flat (or England, hence the upcoming move) so some days I just need to get him out of the house. We go for a walk, go for a cup of tea, or visit my sister, just so we aren't in the house but then it's like a big, grey cloud is descending when we get close to home again. Some times, I nurture that depression and we will have a day watching films and cuddling up or we will try and talk about things.

When we first met, he started to experience panic attacks and he used to call me. I was quite firm that I cannot be his only support as the guilt I'd feel if I couldn't get to the phone and something happened would drown me. I made him go to the doctors despite him not wanting to. But I think you just have to be firm. In his country, mental health isn't really talked about and he would not let any of his family know. He eventually went on medication and hated it. It was a battle to get him to take his tablets and in the end he took himself off of them, which I wasn't happy with, but he knows his body best. I did make him tell his family too because I reiterated that I can't be the only one responsible for him, and that his family love him and would want to know about this. I think I used the analogy of a broken leg - nobody would expect you to walk on it and people would want to help you.

He did do online group therapy and hated it because every week was a battle to get him to log on, but after 2 suicide attempts I told him that I couldn't stay with him unless he went to therapy. I cannot be responsible for my mental health and his. He needs to take ownership of it. It was a hard conversation but I got through to him!

A lot of his stress came from owning his own business. When he quit that, it was even more stress because he literally went home for 2 weeks and was like okay i'm not doing it anymore, came back to England and had no job/income. He'd also invested all of his money into the business so he had a lot of feelings of failure. Now he works a 9-5 job he doesn't really enjoy but he isn't stressed about ensuring he gets an income every day, he is turning off his work brain at 5 rather than spending all evening on the phone calling customers and re-arranging his whole day to suit them, no weekends etc. Removing that stress has had a big impact because he could be very irritable and snappy with me then regretful of his behaviour.

We've had a lot of ups and downs due to his mental health and it is hard. I grew up with a mum who had depression and also made several suicide attempts, so it wasn't really anything new to me. I'm always calm in these situations and quite rational which I guess helps when my partner is having panic attacks. He'll tell me he can't see and his heart has stopped beating, and I'm like yes you can, it's in your head, you need to breathe in.

Sometimes I'll just say to him can you go for a long bath or a walk when I know he needs that to chill out - or if I need time away. We've been together long enough that I can say I'm going for a walk and if he asks to come too, I can say no I'd like to be alone and listen to music.

TLDR: be firm with your boundaries, be calm and rational, look after yourself too.