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just-a-ghost00 · 3 months ago

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🧟‍♂️ THRILLER NIGHT🧟‍♀️

In this 18+ reading, we are enquiring about the following themes :

What about you makes them go feral

What their instincts want them to do to you

How freaky can they be at night

This is going to be a lengthy reading, so bear with me. Minors do not interact.

Group 1 🧟‍♂️

What about you makes them go feral? | knight of wands, 4 of swords, High Priestess

They love your bold, assertive presence. How you never give in to temptation and are always in control of your emotions, no matter what they try to do. How you firmly stand your ground and remain in your power. They love the mystery you surround yourself with. Especially when it comes to your intimacy, sexuality. They are turned on by your passionate yet calm demeanour. For some of you that may be practicing divination or occult arts, they also get turned on by that aspect of you. Something about you is just bewitching to them. They love your intensity, your stubbornness, your reserved nature. They get turned on by the fact that you are so guarded on a daily basis and they might be the only one that gets to see beyond the walls you’ve built to protect yourself. They are turned on by the resistance you create when you are prioritising yourself. You’re not someone to mess with. You’re not what they would qualify as an « easy » person, someone that has no boundaries, no sense of preservation, no reserve. With the combination of the knight of wands and the 4 of swords, I get the feeling of someone being extremely astute when it comes to flirting. You know when to push and when to pull back, you create an interesting dynamic that keeps this person on their toes. The combination of those two cards with the High Priestess reminds me of someone that likes banter, mind games. I get the sense of someone pretty sarcastic and witty, who sees through the other's seduction attempts. It's like you've been through it all and you can't be bothered. They like how you can see through them and know exactly which buttons to push. It makes being with you more interesting and challenging. I feel like both of you like to be mentally challenged and stimulated. You may tend to be a bit harsh with them and that's actually something that turns them on as well.

What their instincts want them to do to you | 8 of wands, 8 of swords, The Hermit, Strength

If I had to put it into simple words, it would be something like "I gotta act quick or they will disappear from my sight". There's an urgency to this person's actions and thoughts guided by their instincts. And one way they want to do that is by locking you up in their bubble. They want to get a grab of you and never let go, keep you stuck in their energy because they know damn well that you won't wait for them if they mess up. They know damn well that you are precious and that if they don't act on it, someone else will. That is actually their biggest fear : to lose you to someone else while they're gone. Because I feel like you're currently not in contact with this person or if you are, the communication isn't going smoothly. You are busy and this person is busy somewhere else, and they're thinking that if they don't hurry up, you'll forget about them. They want to take you away somewhere no one can ever disturb the connection you share, away from prying eyes and envious people. They feel very possessive over you. It's funny, because in the deck I'm using, the Strength card is called Lust. It depicts a multi headed chimera that looks like a lion encircling with its body a beautiful and sensual naked woman. In this card, it's like the beast is marking its territory. How fitting ! Because that's exactly the impression I get from this person. They want to mark you as theirs. Their instincts tell them to claim you. In their mind, it's like "I gotta show them I'm the one, I have to be the best so they can only see me". If they could entangle your body to theirs forever, they would do it without any hesitation. There isn't a single doubt about their carnal desire for you and the need for them to show the world how you belong to them. Based on what we've seen so far, I'd say that this person has BDSM tendencies, enjoys foreplay, dirty talking and leaving marks of their deeds on their partner (hickeys, bite marks, claw marks). This person may want to tie you down, metaphorically and litterally.

How freaky can they be at night | 10 of wands, 4 of wands, page of swords, 3 of cups

The key words associated with the 10 of wands and the 4 of wands were "oppression" and "completion". I almost mistook the 4 of wands with the 9 of wands for some obscure reason. This gives me the feeling that in bed, this person can be very intense and match your level of intensity. If they let you dominate and control the connection in public, during the day, behind close doors, they are keen on showing you who's the boss. This person is a dom. They are rough when it comes to sex. But what matters the most to them is that you enjoy it as much as they do. So they will need a lot of communication from their partner. This person wants things to be clear and explicit for everyone. Even if they are pretty bossy and impatient, they will ask for your consent. They will want you to feel validated and they ask of you to do the same. In bed, this person is vocal. They definitely dirty talk and like to call their partner pet names. To them, sex is a way to feel whole by merging with their partner. It's also a way for them to release pressure, stress, frustration. They view it both as a duty and an honor. And let me tell you, when it comes to that, they are very giving. They're an all rounder. Anything you want to do, they gladly do it. They like to show off in such times. If this person is into body building or tends to be flexible, they'll use that to their advantage. They tend to fuck fast and they tend not to last very long because they get too hyped up. However, they have no problem going at it several rounds in a row. They have stamina. This person may have a voyeurism kink. They may enjoy filming or taking pictures to save for later. They might watch a lot of porn when you're not around. With the 3 of cups, this person could fantasize about threesomes. It can also show an interest in alcohol as a way to calm their nerves and get in the mood. It could also mean that setting the tone, creating a nice atmosphere before and after sex matters a lot to them. Though they may seem heartless in certain aspects, this person values emotional connection and safety. So they wouldn't neglect the aftercare. They wouldn't get into sex straight away either, no matter how turned on they may be. They'll always ease their partner into it and make sure that they are doing okay afterwards. I pick up on words of affirmation, reassuring physical touch like brushing your hair or massaging your body to alleviate the pain or stress, acts of service like washing you up after or carrying you to bed.

Group 2 🌕

What about you makes them go feral? | ace of swords, knight of wands, 8 of cups clarified by the 6 of swords

You are independent. You bow to no one. You take no orders, buy no BS and you sure as hell don't lower your standards. You don't wait for others to validate you to feel good about yourself. You don't need this person. You are completely detached from the outcome of this connection, no matter how you feel about them. You are quirky and bluntly honest, there is no second guessing with you. When you want something, you go for it. You don't complain, you don't back down. You just get going and get the work done. Which this person appreciates 100%. They get turned on by you because you take the lead. You're ruthless and bold, you seem to be unafraid of whatever may be coming your way. In their eyes, you are unstoppable. You don't care about other's opinion of you, you don't mind being alone. You just do you. Your unique mind and appearance are what turns this person on the most. More than going feral for you, this person is just in awe at how strong and unwavering you can be. They are turned on by your ability to move swiftly through life's obstacles, to turn your back on things and people that do not serve your highest good. They are turned on by your intelligence and creativity, your passion, your drive. By your communication skills. There's something about the warmth of your voice and how cutting it may be. How piercing your words may get. They are turned on by your depth and in a way, by your sadness. Your bitterness excites them because a part of them believes they can save you from the shallow waters of your sorrow.

What their instincts want them to do to you | 3 of cups, 7 of wands, knight of wands, 9 of cups

Their instincts tell them to fight for you and your attention. To prove to you that life isn't always as gloomy and painful as it may have been for you in the past. To bring back that naiveté and sweet joy you might have lost over time. Their instincts tell them to softly and kindly take your hand and guide you to healing. To whisper sweet nothings into your ear about how good you are doing, how proud of you they are and how you are safe with them. They want you to believe in love again. To feel happy and content, at peace and finally free from torment. They want to show you a world of laughter and playfulness, where you don't have to worry about what's next. Where you don't have to be so tense and constantly on your guards, where you can rely on them and for once, let someone else take the lead. They want to wine and dine you, maybe waltz you to bed and give you the love and care you deserve. Contrary to group 1's person, they are pretty romantic and soft and I feel like this person would be more of a sub, even if they can assume a more dominant position when needed. Their instincts tell them to have fun with you and flirt with you, to take you out on a date as soon as possible and show you every aspect of their personality. They want to lay all their cards down and give you their all. They want to make every moment with you like a dream that you wouldn't want to wake up from. Their instincts tell them to support and protect you, to nurture you, be your knight in shining armor basically. They may want to get you drunk. If not, they at least want to be able to put you at ease and lower your guards. I pick up on someone wanting to show you off in public. Like, maybe this person would invite you to a gathering with their friends and a couple of yours. And during this gathering, they would do everything to put you in the spotlight and show their friends how perfect you are. But also, it would be a way for them to show everyone how well you go together and how perfect they are for you. In their mind, this person wants to crush any competition there might be, whether it's on their side or yours. It's like "look at my person, ain't no one gonna get them because I'm the one for them and they're the one for me", "ain't no one better to love them than me and there ain't no one better than them to love me".

How freaky can they be at night? | Hanged Man, 10 of cups, ace of pentacles

I wouldn't say that this person is freaky. But rather they are lovey. They are 100% a giver and they would put your needs and desires first without a doubt. They would be adament on you reaching orgasm first, and as many times as possible. They would take their sweet time easing you into it, through touch, through talking, through stares. They would take it slow and make it last for as long as possible. The exact opposite of group 1's person. This person is very emotional when it comes to sex. They would let you ride them, take the lead, decide about anything you want to do. They would try any position if it meant satisfying you. They would want to make sure that they don't forget anything. This is likely someone that will ask you a lot of questions before hand. They like to consider their partner's point of view. They would want to know everything about your kinks, your pet peeves, your fantasies. They could be into using ropes or hand cuffs. They enjoy very simple things. So they are likely to have sex in the comfort of the bed room, sticking to plan and playing the safe card by doing what they know they can do and what they know you enjoy. They want their partner to feel safe and cared for, so aftercare is like an unbreakable rule for them. I feel like eye contact and touch is really important for this person, as it enhances the emotional connection. This person needs to feel their partner's love to be able to enjoy sex. I'm picking up on someone gently stroking their partner's hair, softly guiding them by holding their neck or hand, hugging them tightly, spooning them. They want their body to be a shelter for the one they love. They could be using toys as well. Lube is a must. They're the kind to wear protection everytime, to only have sex if their partner is in the mood for it. Oral is a big thing. They view sex as a way to secure the bond between partners and comfort each other. So sex with them would be very soothing.

Group 3 🐺

What about you makes them go feral? | Death, King of cups, 10 of cups

For some of you, the mere fact that you are older than them is enough to turn them on. Other than that, your overall maturity attracts this person to you. They enjoy your emotional maturity more than anything else. What they particularly like is how selfless and kind you can be. Your sweetness and soothing presence act like an aphrodisiac for them. You are a very giving person and your understanding knows no boundary. Despite the hell you may have been through, you never cease to believe in people, in love, in happiness. Your love is unconditional and infinite. And it deeply touches this person's soul. It does things to them they sometimes fail to understand as it is so whole and powerful they may feel disturbed by it sometimes. What they love is how unafraid you are of being vulnerable, especially in their presence. How you always mean what you say and speak your truth with dignity and compassion. How soothing you are to others, like a loving parent that only seeks to protect and elevate. They love how you make them feel safe and protected, understood and loved for who they are, no matter what they do or where they come from. It's like you see right through them and understand them to their very core. With you they feel whole and certain that no matter what they do, you will always be there. The depth of the connection itself is something that they love so much it sends them to Nirvana. Just the thought of you turns them on. But there's also an edge to you that no body has. Your love is deeply transformative, it is new and refreshing because it is as clear as water. There is no doubt about what you feel or what you hope for. You endlessly give just for the sake of giving and that, in this person's eyes, is incredibly sexy. When you think about Death, you can't help to think of the magnetic Scorpio. And one thing Scorpio is known for is loyalty. You may be slow to give your trust, but once you do, there is no going back. That ride or die energy that you have is a huge turn on for them.

What their instincts tell them to do to you | The Sun, Judgement, 5 of swords clarified by the ace of pentacles

Their instincts tell them to surrender to you. To let you be the Judge of the outcome of this connection because they know deep down that whatever you have in store for them is going to be more than they could ever dream of. They tell them to lay their soul bare for you to see and give you the same level of vulnerability as you give them. They want to follow you down the rabbit hole and discover all the tricks you have up your sleeve. They want to give you their all as a fair retribution for all that you have given them. It's like they're saying "here, take my soul". They want to offer you their life, their joy, their innocence. For some of you, this person may be virgin. And they feel like having their first time with you wouldn't be that bad of a thing. They trust you with their life. They would fall for you a undred times because they know you would catch them every single time. They feel so safe with you they want to release all restraints and explore all aspects of their sexuality. Their instincts tell them to show you the truth of their being, to let their guards down and let you in. They want to embrace you as a whole and they want you to do the same. This person is ready to lay arms and offer you their everything. I feel called to mention the Death card again and the loyal side of Scorpio that could die for their lover. In that aspect, the Death card can symbolize someone that has high expectations, very committed and who expects nothing less in return. So I feel like their instincts tell them to commit to you. Their guts tell them that their fate is sealed and that this fate leads back to you. Based on this combination of cards, this person is a sub. And they may have a thing for tormented people. They have this energy of someone that views sex as a holy / deeply spiritual experience.

How kinky can they be at night | 2 of cups, The Sun, ace of cups, ace of wands

Similarily to group 2's person, I wouldn't say that they are kinky but rather lovey. This person is exclusive. They view sex as a mean to deepen the connection between two partners that are commited to one another. To them, sex should be a conversation of the souls and an enjoyable experience for both partners. They value balance and equity. This person could be into shower sex, outdoors sex especially around the beach or any body of water. They could enjoy the use of lube, body oil and such. Emotional connection is a must for them. They can get turned off very quickly if they don't feel loved by their partner. Their kinkiness is deeply connected to their emotional well being. The more they feel loved, the kinkier they will get. They can be pretty versatile and are willing to try everything but I feel like they will be enjoying it the most if things get wet pretty quickly. I really get the feeling of someone being inexperimented when it comes to sex but also very curious. They enjoy the novelty of sex and the creativity that comes with it. So they could be into kamasutra, tantric experiences, they could be the kind to research about sex to ensure they will satisfy their partner. They're a bit bold and cocky, especially if they feel encouraged to do so. This person likes to tease. They may enjoy spanking. They're down for anything as long as it pleases you. The emotional satisfaction they get from sex matters more than the physical. They enjoy kissing a lot. They also enjoy feeling like it's the first time every time. So if their partner is pretty imaginative and initiates sex in very creative ways, they will have fun with it. They may enjoy role playing as well, for the same reasons. They love pet names. They love to be praised and reassured. They want to feel as close to their partner as possible, like they could drown in their lover's essence. So positions like missionary or spooning would be their favorites.

#just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #love pac #18+ pac #tarot reading

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thedivinetarot · 4 months ago

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Put your white tennis shoes on and follow me, why work so hard when can just be free

How do you lure people in?

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

1) Close your eyes.

2) Clear your mind.

3) Take a deep breathe.

4) Ask the question in your head. Open your eyes and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Note:

- This is a general reading, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

- I usually do an energy check for each pile so that the reading can resonates as much as possible.

- This reading is kind of long. Since it is divided into 4 sections. And each section shows a question including the energy check.

Take care ❤

Arya

1) How do you view yourself?

2) How do you lure people in?

3) How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Pile 1 - Under the moonlight

Your current energy

Well, in this pile I see that there's two energies. The first one is that there's a person in your life who is interested in you romantically. He might have scorpio placements or water placements (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). I see that you are not seeing clearly the situation which is making you feel stuck and stagnant. I see that the other case here is that there's a person in your life or will enter soon who have the placements I mentioned above. At first, you are not going to trust him because you had your fair share of heartbreak. I see that you are going or you are doubting his feelings for you. I see that you think that there's a heartbreak after all this happiness and genuine feelings which is so sad honestly. What I see from the cards is that this person have a very stable feelings for you. But he is either too cold to express them or he have an avoidant attachment style. I see that this person's intentions towards you are very genuine. He want to be in a platonic relationship with you. He want to protect you and support you. I don't honestly see anything harmful coming from that person. The only thing that might sabotage this relationship is you pile 1. I think you are too afraid to be vulnerable and open up to them which keeping you stuck and away from love and happiness. You fear the heartbreak even though that person have literally your best interest at heart. Okay, another energy I'm picking up on is that this pile are working on a project and I literally feel like my mid to lower back is hurting me so bad. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on your physical body which is leading you to feel this way. Or metaphorically; you may be having a lot of assignments and projects for your college/ school or work which is keeping you restless and tired. I see that you are working with a group of people but the main focus is on you idk why. Also I feel like you are working out in a very harsh way which is giving you this pain your back pile 1. Some people here feel pain in their hips and pelvis area too. I literally feel that on my body. Try to rest, drink some herbal tea, read a book and disconnect from the internet. Go out for a walk under the sun (Idk if you live in cold or warm climate but anyways 🥲). Now let's get into the reading.

1- How do you view yourself?

So, this pile see themselves as people who lack foresight and decisiveness. I see that you guys are aware of your own potential but due to laziness and being discouraged by your life circumstances you chose to leave the battle without even trying to fight back. I see that you chose to surrender to whatever life have offered you. You could be a new school graduate who doesn't want to go to college due to your financial state. I see that also this pile are quite mature emotionally. You are a bit nostalgic to your childhood and how things were safe. I see also that you are for whatever reason; you think that your life will change like magic. I will explain to you. You see those movies where the girl lives her WHOLE life thinking she is an ordinary person but then someone tells her that she is a decent queen or princess and her life turn around 180°?(princess diaries movie is a reference here) I feel like this pile want change so bad but at some point you gave up to try and change anything. Like you lost your passion to live or even that your life will improve. I see that you are someone who is very artistic, someone who is very spiritual too. You like traveling, you like learning about different cultures. You like to educate yourself instead of scrolling endlessly on IG or tiktok. But I see that there's still hope for you. Also, what I'm seeing that this pile are quite innocent and if not then you are someone who always feel this sense of nostalgia. You feel nostalgic to people, to places, you always have something to reminisce over. Another thing I'm picking up on is that people in this group are quite motherly. They like taking care of people especially young children. You like setting with them, you like how sweet they are. You might tell yourself that you want to become a mother one day. Some people here view themselves as a gate to heaven. How so? Like you see this person who enters your life and their life change for better? I'm picking up on people with esfj, enfj, infj, isfj, estj mbti. Someone who changes people, who fix them. Who can show them the great future that await them if they change. Pile 1 you see yourself as a catalyst to change.

2-How do you lure people in?

First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile appear stable in front of people. You look put together and elegant. I see that even if you do not wear the best clothes you have people still think that what you are wearing is expensive. I see also that you appear quite heartbroken, there's this melancholic aura around you. Another thing is this pile are quite mysterious by nature. You do not overshare yourself and you keep people thirsty for more. You appear also quite faint? You see those people who are enigmatic? Their hair color is very high in contrast with their skin. There's this aura of mystery around you, which make many people wonder. "Who is she/he?" I am seeing that you are quite magnificent. In the previous paragraph I typed that you view yourself and someone who is innocent and sweet, people also view you like that pile one. They view you as someone who is lovely to be with, especially new friends or people who want to be your friend. They get so excited and happy when you are around. Also, I see that people view you as someone with many potential. You literally know that and you see it in yourself. You know that you have so much potential in you. People in your company feel in awe honestly. You make people also aware of thir beauty and potential. You see beauty everywhere you go. People also see that your views and opinions on the world are quite interesting. You see things in different light and you make people see what they was not able to see before. You appear as a lone wolf to people. You are always alone in public enjoying a drink or walking. You presence is so liked by others. I see beauty and brains yo you could be someone who is blessed by beauty and also smart soo (lucky you pile 1).

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

People who are romantically interested in you see that you have many options. That's why they do not dare to make a move on you. I see that many People crush on you but they fear coming in out of rejection. They fear getting rejected by you pile 1. Also I see that you appear as someone who is content on their own and you do not really want someone out of neediness. You want them because you like them That's why. I see that, you might have stalkers. People in this pile might have got stalked online or physically. I see that because of your mysterious aura People really get curious about you. I see that this pile attracts older men. Like if you are in your 20s you might notice that men who are in their 40s and 50s are attracted to you. And if you are a guy reading this then women really get intrigued by you, especially if they are older. I also see that you always have an option but you chose to stay alone because you think that working on yourself or studying is what really matters. I see that romantic interests tend to view you as someone who is out of their league, someone very nurturing. They may call you wife material and they are right! You are loyal and honest. I see also that you attract older men. Because they are more authoritative and more wealthy that people your age and a little younger/older. Some people in this pile like the baby/daddy dynamic, Idk why but I keep hearing "every man gets his wish and 1949 by Lana Del Rey" go listen to them if you want to. There's a lot of references on the cards on sugar baby/ daddy relationship. Honey, if you want an older man/woman or a sugar daddy/mommy you can easily attract one and believe me you can literally make them your slave. I see that your romantic interest value you because you are not afraid of walking away from things that do not serve you. I see that the love relationship that you are seeking and imagining in your head is meant for you in this lifetime. And you are going to get them no matter how old you get.

4- Placements for this pile

Fire placements (Aries, Sagittarius and leo). Earth placements (Taurus, Capricorn and virgo). Aquarius, Cancer, Venus in scorpio. Pluto with aspects to the ascendant. Mars, jupiter, Uranus, Mercury, neptune dominant.

Pile 2- A cross the shore

Your current energy

Okay, I see this pile feels disappointed because of a man in your life? He could either be your father or someone you are with in a relationship. I see that this man is sabotaging your happiness. You could be so happy and satisfied and then you set with him and your mode change 180° for the worst. I see that also if you are a woman you might be a gemini and this man is so cocky that he make you feel anxious and out of element. Another thing I'm picking up on is that this pile are trying to juggle many responsibilities but due to stress and anxiety you are just postponing your priorities until you get the mind clarity that you are looking for. And if not that case is applicable to your case then I see that you are someone who is very structured or organized and there's many responsibilities on your shoulders right now but due to stress and exhaustion you are just surrendering to life? I see that you need some time for yourself pile 2, try to reflect and take a break. If you have many responsibilities then break the task into small baby steps so you can complete it; also try to take a break between each task. Pile 2 your spirit team is telling you that the worst have finally ended and they want you to know that whatever thing you wish for you'll get it. I see that they are encouraging you to get out and be more social and be optimistic. They hate seeing you sad and anxious. They want you to know that they love you and they are working day and night to insure that you are safe and sound. Idk why I started tearing up I feel suddenly a wave of warm emotions, I also feel so tired and sleepy pile 2 if you want to sleep please go and sleep everything will be alright. They are telling me that the clarity you want will come to you quickly and you don't have to work for it. You only need to set still and listen to the synchronicity they are sending you. Each one of those synchronicities have something to do with what you want to know. God bless you pile 2.

1- How do you view yourself?

I see that you view yourself as someone who is very spiritual. A priestess, I'm seeing. You like to dive deep into the unknown, you have this thirst for dark knowledge like occult, witchcraft, tarot, astrology, alchemy and other forms of divination. I see that you see yourself as someone who embody the pluto archetype. Someone who is in a constant inner change, you could be now having your first or second spiritual awakening which is kinda harsh in your lens. I see that you are someone who is very patient and stubborn. Someone who can reach whatever they want. I see also that you see yourself as someone who is scattered brain and your head is always in the clouds. You could be a dreamer too. I'm seeing that you are someone who is trying their best but you feel like the best thing is nothing important to anyone. I feel like you might see yourself as someone who is an outcast? Someone who is overlooked by others. People don't really take you seriously and they think that you are dumb? (I'm not saying you are dumb neither people around you, it is your perception to things pile 2). I see that you see yourself as someone who is mentally ill, someone who is overlooked by people from their own gender. You might have dealt with girls/girl friends who used you for what you have like money/service or attention and then they ditched you when their business has done. I see that you might be so attached to your female caregiver so much it could be your mother or grandmother or old sister for some of you. Put I'm seeing that this caregiver is old like in their 40s. This pile has a really melancholic perspective of who they are it is like someone who is lost. I see that unlike pile 1, you use your intuition a lot or you started listening to your intuition in order for you to survive. You might have given a lot of people lots of second chances but they played you again until you literally got drained and depleted of energy. So, as a coping mechanism you chose to stay by yourself so you can protect your inner peace. I see you may call yourself a freak in a proud way. Like you see those people who got treated horribly because of their personalities but then they accepted the fact that it is what it is and they started calling themselves of what people called them proudly? You might be like this.

2- How do you lure people in?

Well, pile 2. I see that you act distant and aloof in front of people but once you warm up to someone you can be really helpful. I see that at first people see that you are starting fresh and new in your life (because of your spiritual awakening) they see how mentally and perhaps physically you are changing. I see that you try to do your best to keep your life together, people can see that you are trying but what make them sad is you do not ask for help. You do not want anyone to help you. You think that no one cares but in fact people care more than you think. I see what really make those people stay away from you is that you do not give them a chance to reveal themselves. You might be in a survival mode and you see everything in black and white but life is more than that. This pile make me so sad. It is like I'm not reading for HOW you lure people in it is like WHAT people's reaction when they see you and it is completely two different things. I think that this pile need to work on their perception of themselves because the way you see yourself play a major role of how people treat you. I think that you have self worth issues and you think that you do not deserve happiness or love or friendship. You are telling yourself the SAME damn story to convince yourself that it is what it is but it is not WHAT YOU THINK! I know this awakening is so hard but believe me when you emerge from your cocoon as a beautiful butterfly you'll see how good it is. I feel like many people in this pile are confused of which stage in the spiritual awakening you are in. Personally I've gone through that and this video will help you. I feel like you are in place in your life where survival is an apparent theme and not really anything else. You might be on survival mode for like months or even years. It is not for everyone so take what resonates.

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Okay, due to your distorted self perception of yourself your romantic interests tend to avoid getting closer. But they do see the potential in you. I see that to the opposite gender you might be someone who is considered cute or attractive in general, but the thing is you do not see that yourself. I see that the opposite gender see you as someone who is the wish come true. To them you are someone who is very familiar and lovely. They are so pleased when you talk to them. I told you pile 2. Your self perception is stopping you from going after things that will make you happy. I see that your romantic interest sees how cool and good you are but they fear coming in because of the rejection and heartbreak you'll cause them. I see that you are a forbidden fruit to them. Like they are allowed to look but not allowed to taste or touch. Like a beautiful painting on a wall, they want to get closer to you, they want to touch you and get to know you but you are the one who is running away from anyone who mignt be a good option for you. You might like to start your relationship with the opposite gender as friendship and then develop it into something romantic. I see that your romantic interest view you as someone who is very fortunate, someone who is sweet, bubbly and someone they can trust to have a family with. People in this pile are divided into two sections, one energy here; their romantic interest views them in a sexual lusty way. Like you might be blessed with curves (bigger boobs, nice body shape) they see all of this and they are like "🤤", If you are a man or male I think the opposite gender see you as someone hot or you know very attractive too. I think people in this pile, their romantic interest see you as marriage material. They touch themselves as the thought of you pleasuring them. Others in this pile attracts people like them. Like if you are someone with low self esteem, you'll attract someone with low self esteem too. If you are commitment phobe, you'll attract someone exactly like you. So be careful. In this pile you might feel like your romantic interest mirror your inner self. The trauma, your fears, your doubts, how you see yourself. They mirror it, so please pile 2, try to work on that we want to attract good people into our life.

Placements for this pile:

Gemini, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Water placements or water dominants (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). Taurus,Virgo, Jupiter, moon, Saturn, Mercury, Pluto dominant. number 3 is significant in this pile.

Pile 3- The light house

Your current energy

Hello pile 3. How are you? I hope you are doing well. First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile is confused. I feel like you just woke up from a deep sleep or you have slept like +9 hours but you are still tried. I feel like this pile are trying to heal and seek clarity. I see that you are trying to label your values and what you really want from life. This pile’s energy are quite serene. You are living your life in a monotone way. Like you wake up, go to work/school/ college, study, eat, go to sleep. And the cycle repeat itself again. You want change in your life but you know that change will not come easily unless it starts from you pile 3. You know that and you are aware of it. You are aware that in order to change you need to work on yourself, you need to get to know your values, what you like and dislike. You want to get to know yourself and what you truly want to live. I see also that you are hanging on a connection that you think has potential but believe me darling, this connection is just an attachment. You are attached to this person and not the other way around. Perhaps, this person may at some point saw something in you but they do not know how to reach out. They do not know how it will work and you know that too. This pile’s energy is very stable, and rational honestly unlike pile 2; I felt like I'm suffocating and I cried while typing their paragraph. Anyways, I see you guys are thinking of moving into another state or country. I see by traveling there; you will put an end to the stagnant energy within you or your life. I see also that this pile will suffer from a short term poor financial state but then everything will be alright. I see that someone might enter your life pile 3, he could be a sagittarius or have sagittarius placements. This person is very driven and sexy omg. I see that soon He will be in your life. The cards are telling me that he will be there all of sudden. His entrance will shake up things in your life for the better. Don't worry pile 3, you will have the cake and eat it too. Soooo enjoy the attention.

1- How do you view yourself?

This pile view themselves as someone who is witty and cunning with a hint of manipulation. I see that you know how to use people to your liking and advantage. I also see that have a pretty convincing way of communicating. You know how to gaslight people to give you want you want. Some people in this pile do manipulate people intentionally, they know what they are doing. I see that you can be pretty lazy and harsh with people. You might have mercury in sagittarius? Or mercury with harsh aspects to pluto? Someone who is very intelligent and lazy. Almost gives me INTP, ISTP, ISTJ, ENTP and some of you could be INFJ or INTJ too. Many of you have been through a lot of financial issues which forced you to leave your lazy tendencies and start seek a job so you can feed yourself. I feel like you are someone who lives alone in their own apartment or own a house by themselves. But you owned this after you worked like a dog to earn this money. I see that some people here lack imagination and you don't really understand why some people call themselves dreamers. You thunk dreaming or imagining things is a dumb thing or you seek the psychological meaning behind it. People in this pile are so logical and pragmatic, you have no connectionto emotions becauseyou think people who think with their heart are stupid. You prefer to see things in objective way. And you hate anything related to theory. You see that there's no use in using theories and you only believe in hard facts. In this pile I see also that you hate being bored I remembered when Lana twitted on X "you are boring me to death and I'm already dead". I think you hate boredom too pile 3. You hate boring people and dumb people. People in this pile can be Narcissists or Machiavellian or you have symptoms of this personality disorder (take what resonates I will not label people here as good or bad you know if you are good or bad pile 3). Also you have a high self esteem and you think that you deserve the world. You might be working right now so you can be in a high position in society. Someone who is authoritative and demanding. You want people to fear you and to respect you more than to like or love you. You get thrilled when someone announce that they hate you and they are your enemy. You like that and it gives you this energy boost. I see also that you are digging your way up, you are trying to prove to yourself that you'll be someone great in the future. You have this enormous drive to you that make you go on and on to reach your goals I'm hearing Marina song "High achiever can't you see, baby nothing come for free" but I forgot the song's name lol. You are always working on your goals and have a vision for the future.

2- How do you lure people in?

Omg this pile is quite bitchy. I hate saying this but people are attracted to you and hate you at the same time. They are attracted to your charm but they hate it when you turn the table on them. You might be someone who LIKES to gossip and because of that almost no one really want to be your friend. People like it when they come to you for advice because you are not swayed by emotions or imagination, you give them your opinion without being shy of sayingthe truth. You lure people in there's this drive to you, the ambition. Especially if you are a man or a male or masculine, everyone droll over how masculine you are. They like how decisive you are. People see the inner power in you, they see how passionate and wonderful you can be. Also you intimidate people, your presence make people uncomfortable because of the powerful aura you show to others. I see also that there's this wonder-ness about you. People in this pile here are not ashamed to explore and discover what they want as I mentioned in the energy check in. I see also that you keep ignoring your intuition and you lack emotional maturity which is soon will be changed. I see one of the lessons you'll learn in this lifetime is to be more emotionally intelligent and to be more compassionate towards others. People see that you are a me me me person. They see that because of your confidence and charm you can be a bit (How can I say it?) You are attention seeker? You are giving me The Weekend vibe idk why😭.

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Your possible romantic interest view you as someone who is warm and optimistic. Most of your romantic interest crush on you because of how you look. They have no idea how dangerous you can be lol. Anyways, your romantic interests view you as someone who doesn't have man friends or a lone wolf even if you are an extrovert and you know a lot of people they assume that you are a lone wolf who doesn't have many friends. I see that your romantic interest are mostly dreamers or people who are delusional. Or I see that you attract people who are the total opposite of your personality. It is for a reason and the reason is to connect more with your emotional side. Your romantic interest feel scared of approaching you because you appear a bit unbalanced or a player. They see you as someone who will probably play them and fuck with their heart (A heartbreaker honestly). You might be someone who is considered attractive to people in the country you are living in. I see that you have a very sexy aura and you sexual energy is out of the chart. You might post nudes of yourself just to tease your crushes online. You have many stalkers too. If you are a guy many girls stalk you online. And if you are a female/girls/feminine many guys harass you online and they send you +18 pic of their.... you know. I see also that your romantic interest view you as someone who is quite harsh with words or someone who is very honest like bluntly honest which most of the time hurt their feelings. Your romantic interest view you as someone who they see a long term relationship with. They see you as someone who can pull them out of their shell. Also someone who is very smart and intelligent. They like how smart you are.

Placements for this pile

Air placements or dominant (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Sagittarius, Leo especially the ascendant, Capricorn, Sun, Mercury, Venus, jupiter as dominant planets in your chart.

Pile 4- Eye of a mermaid

Your current energy

Hello pile 4, how are you? Well let's get into the energy check of yours. First thing I'm picking up on is that you are either in love with someone who doesn't love you back or you have ended a romantic relationship because of a third party. But what mostly obvious here is that there's chasing and convincing. I see that you or the other person are chasing one another and no it is not mutual. It is like the more feminine energy in this connection is putting too much effort that the man started to feel egoistic and self assured that the feminine won't leave him. I see that you guys are very generous and selfless people. You have many friends and you are spending majority of time asking for their advice on your love life. It is painful honestly, I feel like my heart is sinking. You have many potential pile 4 and whatever you are chasing won't come to you unless you detach and forget about it. It is okay if we love someone and they don't love us back but the problem is when you hang your WHOLE existence around that perosn. Love is pure, genuine, it is the most pure energy in this universe. So, don't be sad that they are not sharing their love with you. Instead, be concerned on how to detach from that person. Another energy I'm picking up on is that you might be in a fwb situation or poly relationship. I see many parties interfering with the relationship that you feel the person you are loving is not loving you back. This person honestly is not the best so, try to move yourself out of the situation and give them a block for 2 months. If this person tried to reach out during these 2 months then they care for you and if not then you are just a replacement (sorry for being harsh on you pile 4). I see that this pile here there's someone perhaps a soulmate. This person is coming too soon into your life so whatever situation you are in, you'll find someone who will give you the love that you give to others and they will held you accountable. Okay my dears?

1- How do you view yourself?

Okay, first thing I'm picking up on is that you are someone who really hate change. You can literally eat the same food, do the same routine and live on the same frequency for ages without trying to change you life circumstances. Also, I see that you are someone who is very smart and intelligent. You see yourself as someone who is not swayed by delusions. The funny thing is (what I'm picking up on intuitively) that you say that you don't believe in tarot, astrology or paranormal stuff but you manage to read tarot or like being curious about your placements and other stuff. I see that you see yourself as someone who is pessimistic and not that funny or optimistic at all. The cards are also telling me that you need to change or at least accept the idea of change. You appear as someone who is very charming, tempting or someone who is quite attractive to others. Also you are someone who is very active, you like to keep yourself busy during the day. I see a job that requires you to stay active and in service. You could be a waiter/ waitress or cashier? Someone who is always moving. And if not then you are an athletic who have to always be training. You are someone who is always in their head. You might have anxiety or anxiety attacks randomly. You might also try to surrender to circumstances but there's this voice inside you that always nagging you to keep fighting and pushing back. I guess that's why you are always pessimistic pile 4, it is because you hate how you are forcing yourself to keep going. Because after all this enforcement you are not getting the result you aspire to get at all. You are someone who is very generous with time, effort and money. I see that you view yourself as someone who is very cooperative and if not then you view yourself as an extrovert who have many friends. The cards keep replying the same idea which is the selflessness. You need yo balance the give and take energy in you. If someone gave you attention try to give them the same amount they are giving you and don't take it too far. I see that you have people pleaser tendencies. I see that you don't really see the people pleasing thing as a problem at all. Like you truly like to help others because it heals something in you. I'm picturing Monica Gellir from Friends. She have this strong energy, presence and above all she is so caring and hard worker. You may have something in common with her. I see that you are someone who is a bit romantic too. You like romance, but you see those people on tiktok who read lots of romantic stuff and when someone actually is interested they cringe? You might be like that. I see that you are someone who is very loyal, especially to your friends. You might have you venus or moon in Taurus. I'm sensing here a lot of devotion from you guys unlike pile 3 they are narcissists lol.

2- How do you lure people in?

Pile 4 are you an ENFJ/ESFJ? I feel like this pile are a knight in a shining armor. I feel also that you project a picture to people that is not true about yourself. You may pretend like you have a specific traits that are not in you or you lie about sensitive stuff to avoid the hard feelings that come with it. Many people in this pile are very active and action oriented. People see you as someone with a lot of energy to give to others. I see that you are very helpful and people like that. The way you lure people in is a mix of fogginess and helpfulness. Or you may see that at first people project alot of stuff into you, they may tell you things that is not necessary you. Pile 4 do you have neptune/ascendant aspects? Because people always tend to project into you stuff that are not there. People may view you as someone who is naive, others tend to view you as someone who is manipulative. And so on and so forth. I see that also people view you as someone who lack imagination and if you are imaginative by nature then they see that you are someone who is not spiritual at all. They may tell you that you look helpless even though you know where exactly you are going. There's this fog around how people view you. They can't quite tap into who you truly is! Which leave you misunderstood by others. You are exactly like someone for ex, who spent their whole life being told that they are selfish but you are not selfish and you know that. I see that people see you as someone who is a hard worker. They see your efforts and they appreciate them too. People (because of the projection thing) can't really tell you who you truly are. They see the effort you put but not your potential. You may get laughed at when you claim to want to be a model, a singer or anything because people don't seem to think that you can do that. In fact you can, it is just the thoughts of them that they project onto you which is quite sad honestly. People tend to get possessive of you and attached not because of who you are, but because of who they view you to be. It is like those people have something missing and they paint you with what is missing in their life and they claim that you fulfill all the things that is missing from their life. It is sad honestly because they can't see you for who you truly are, instead they project into you. This pile feels like an object to other people which keep them stuck in the same patterns. I guess from what I'm seeing in the cards that your life mission is to get to know yourself and stop letting others project into you.

3- How you lure your romantic interest in?

Okay, your romantic interest see that you are someone who is very independent and ambitious. You may attract a lot of mentally ill people into your life? Or people with avoidant attachment style or peoplewho are non-committed? I see that this people are quite manipulative. Like for ex, they may lie to you about something that they don't have and then you get shocked of the truth. I see that this pile attracts many cheaters. Or people who is considered a walking red flag. People in this pile may have dated people who do not love them. Not love, I see lust. The opposite gender may lust over you a lot sadly. You may be someone who is considered attractive or beautiful in social standards. You attract many cheaters into your life and indecisive people too. Like okay, those people can never be serious or committed to you at all. I'm picking up on the other woman vibe. A girl or a woman who is so beautiful, she have a big heart but all she get from the opposite gender is cheating, lies non-committed relationships or you may be the side chick in the relationship. That's why in the beginning of the reading I felt this sense of unrequited love! It is because you want a relationship, you want love but you can't seem to attract those to you and it is frustrating! You may always try to prove that you are more than a beautiful face/body but unfortunately they only see you as a sexual object. And if you are a man you may have dated several women who were not serious about committing to you or women who is considered hot but are superficial and only cares about money (like more than who you truly are). This pile is sad honestly, all people here are not seen for who they truly are but instead who people want them to be. So, I see that you'll take a reflecting period and quit dating for a while just to see what you truly want and if you are already doing that then good for you pile 4. You deserve applause 👏🏻. Take time and detach, learn how to love yourself, and seek the truth! You truth and what truly matter in your life.

Placements for this pile

Fire placements especially Aries, Air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Earth placements (capricorn, virgo and taurus). Saturn, Mercury, jupiter, Uranus, neptune, sun dominant.

Post dated: 22nd of Sep/2024- Sun

*Feedback is appreciated

#free divination #free tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot community #divination #divination readings #metaphysical #occult #tarot pac #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #pick a picture #tarot

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slenbee · 1 month ago

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List of Current Scammers - Part 3

Created: 12/11/24 - Updated: 1/21/25

Disclaimer: This list is only meant to serve as documentation and reference material so that others know: what to look out for in regards to a scam, and who to block preemptively if you so choose. I do not, in any way, endorse harassment or mass reporting these users. Do NOT do this. I'm serious. DO NOT mass report. Only report these asks if you GET them or ones like them. Thank you.

Part 1 and part 2 will now serve as an archive for reference material and will no longer be updated with current/active scam accounts. Any new account will be posted here, and if it links to a scammer previously mentioned evidence will be provided from that scam list.

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index:

> means a name change. (banana (changed to) mango)

+ means multiple (active) accounts running the same scam.

Previously: means this account is running a scam previously used by an account listed on Part 1 or Part 2 of the scam list.

Recently: means this scam was seen on recently banned account.

(banned) blogs will remain until a new one shows up and then it will be moved to the Recently: category.

Evidence:

Evidence linked will be mostly in the form of call out posts that can be found by searching an accounts username on tumblr. If you are suspicious of an ask you receive, I suggest you please do the bare minimum and search their username on tumblr to see if they've been reported by other users to be a scam.

Reasons why all of these blogs listed here are scams:

Those saying they are 'vetted/verified' will not say by who.

Those saying they 'live(d) in Gaza' know nothing about it.

Those saying they are diabetic have no idea how diabetes works.

Their PayPal.me name are used by other scam accounts.

They use stolen stories/images (if searched via google).

They use multiple blogs to run the same scam.

They will reuse the same story word for word from past accounts.

They will block you if you try and ask questions. Go on. Do it.

They really like changing their 'real name(s). like, a lot.

Their accounts are only a few days/weeks/1-4 months old.

They reblog 5-10 things irreverent things then stop.

The list of evidence goes on and on.

If you have doubts, read the message at the bottom of this post.

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Part 1 - Scammers pretending to be Palestinian

Note: Please refer to Part 1 of the scammer list for more information.

Here is a comprehensive guide on how to spot these scams.

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Insulin or diabetes Scams A guide on how to spot these scams. Accounts asking for donations regarding insulin or diabetes care.

sitatimohamed1 (banned) Previously: sitatimohamed (part 1) No PayPal link yet but probably soon. Evidence it's a scam: here and here herkryptonitephilosopher Notes: PayPal name Irine Temoi is used in other scams. Uses Linktree to hide a PayPal. (that doesn't make it 'legit') Evidence it's a scam: here scrumptiousenthusiastcolor Recently: sappotviviandiabetiicpatient fancyunknownfury "diagnosed with Diabetes at a tender age" Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here furiousdreamertimemachine (banned) Recently: furryhideoutlight + unlikelycreationqueen + fancytacowonderland Previously: furryreviewearthquake (part 1) "My family is still staying in half of the church" Asks for PayPal. Evidence that it's a scam: here and here mysterioussickenessdiabiatese (banned) Previously: gaza-diabetes-childrenhelp (part 1) Asks for PayPal. Evidence that it's a scam: here foggyhottubpost (banned) Previously: foggyruinspost + foggyruinsblog (part 1) Notes: PayPal name Mercy Siomi is used by other scam accounts. Asks for PayPal. Evidence that it's a scam: here sweatyblazefury "Hello help me get insulin for baby Layla today her condition is worsening" Past account(s): universallypeanutpoetry Notes: PayPal name Samson Marwa is used by other scams. Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here and here krispyconnoisseurthing Notes: PayPal name has been used by other scam accounts. Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here

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Evacuation Donation Scams Accounts asking for money to move from one place to another.

maximumtriumphmagazine (banned) Stole images from a real artist. Artist confirmed not related. Uses a fake gofundme for asking donations. Evidence it's a scam: here abdullahwahhab (banned) Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here magicalmilkshakecrown "I suffer from nightmares that are so closely resemble reality that I no longer Differentiate between reality and a dream." Notes: Has used multiple past usernames dating back 7 months. Asks for PayPal. (hidden in a linktree) Evidence it's a scam: here and here

Medical Donations - A guide on how to spot these scams. Accounts asking for money for cancer or another medical condition.

superbballoonsalad (banned) Stolen images. Was previously cherylbieryl. Asks for PayPal. (has since deleted their post) Evidence it's a scam: here devotedlyprofounddream Previously known as: dhrogou, emmilyy3, emilllyi "I'm Emily Palestine citizen from gaza. I'm suffering from brain cancer." Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here and here

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Part 2 - Non Palestinian related scams

Note: Please refer to Part 2 of the scammer list for more information.

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Pet donation Scams - A guide on how to spot these scams. Accounts requesting money to help a sick pet/animal.

crusadingcross (banned) this is Louie. He is an 8 year old Ragdoll Notes: Picture is of a black cat, not a Ragdoll breed. Vet bill is in the USA but PayPal is in the Philippines. Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here guiian-pie (banned) Please don’t scroll. Odin can really use your help. Notes: The real Odin passed away 12/31/24 via a post on the private facebook group that this scammer is using. (see evidence) Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here (see reblog it's it's the same scammer as above.)

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Medical Donations - A guide on how to spot these scams. Accounts asking for money for cancer or another medical condition.

perfectlyhardfan Recently: radhideoutsublime / furrybouquetdonut Previously: foggybouquetsublime (see Part 2) 'I have stage 2A cervical Cancer' Notes: PayPal name Esta Odhiambo is/was used by other accounts. Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here gloriouswolfbeliever (changed to the eunicemargwel scam) Recently: sublimenerddragon Previously: sublimedestinybird (see Part 2) "I am very sick, my asthma is at its maximum level, my nose freezes" Asks for PayPal. - Evidence it's a scam: here differentladyfest (banned) Recently: monicahqueen 'I had stage 4 Laryngeal Cancer, voicebox removed.' Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here swimminggentlemencreator Previously: choppedreviewsong (see Part 2) 'cystic fibrosis patient' Story and images 100% stolen from a real fundraiser. Notes: The original fundraiser was requested/required to be stopped in 2023, and the person who it was for had their twitter deactivated at some point too. I (personally) cannot find anything on this person (Alessandra Olivero) still being alive, so I (personally) am under the assumption that they may have passed away. The scam accounts who use these images and this story in particular make me hella mad and I hope they suffer before they rot in hell. Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here

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Diabetes / Insulin scams - A guide on how to spot these scams. Accounts asking for donations regarding insulin or diabetes care.

furryfoxpost gloriouswolfbeliever Recently: weepingtrashheart + scentedtacomaker + generouscandycreator + jovialnightcat + nuttykittenglitter Previously: sostudentbarbarian / alfayothesoftwareaudit / purplecatshark (see Part 2) "I Need Help With Medical Bills And Equipment" Notes: Uses the same picture on every blog of the girl with the cgm and blood in/on an IV that's in her arm. Asks for PayPal. Known name/alias: Eunice magwerl Evidence it's a scam: here and here pinkinfluencertrash Recently: gloriousprincecupcake gloriouswolfinfluencer happilyholypizza Previously: steadybluebirdpizza (see Part 2) Notes: Has used many multiple accounts. (vero-og) Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here numberonetimemachinebouquet Recently: severedazepanda spmwitaa humongousfoxbasement Previously: ssmwitaa (see Part 2) Art thief. Has no idea how insulin works. Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: here jessieblogsposts (banned) Notes: The name Diana Achieng is used by other scam accounts. Images and story stolen from a gofundme. Asks for PayPal. Evidence it's a scam: the gofundme (2020) phariiislgbtqvictim Notes: The name Pharis Disi is used by other scam accounts. Fake gogetfunding campaign. Evidence it's a scam: here

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If you have any doubts about the validity of this post:

I would not, nor would I ever, willingly or knowingly put someone on this list if I knew 100%, without a doubt, that they were a real, genuine person looking for help.

I (personally) have spent hours of my time gathering evidence in the form of searching names, copy/pasting things over and over into tumblr and google just to try and find different blogs, taking screenshots and making collages in photoshop, writing down and making entire in depth posts about how and why a blog is or isn't running a scam.

And I'm not the only one who does this.

Scam buster blogs, helpful users/anons, and many others, have been looking into and tracking these scammers for months.

These are not individuals we just saw on tumblr and decided to pick on for shits and giggles.

They are scammers.

They don't care about whose story they use or whose pictures they stole. They don't care how it effects someone or what lives they ruin.

All they care about is money.

So, remember to report their PayPal accounts if you can please. :)

Thank you and have a good day. <3

Helpful guides on how to spot scams. (by @kyra45) Important tips and tricks on spotting scams.

#scams #scam #scammers #scam alerts #scam list #donation scam #mutual aid scams #insulin scam #scam alert #paypal scam #medical scam

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astrologylunadream · 4 months ago

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How Do They Feel About You?🧸🍨🌸 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hi it's Lunadream! This is an honest reading for the person on your mind and how they feel about you currently~💭 also happy birthday every virgo and libra this month! hope you find your message🪧🩷

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🍨🩷🍂

Pile 1☕️

Pile 2🩷

Pile 3🧸

Pile 4🧁

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💕

Pile 1☕️

Sign energy: Abundance, Build, Myth, Connection, Try, Venus, Jupiter, 12th house, Virgo, Moon,🧜‍♀️❌️🥹🚶‍♀️

🍨Your person's energy: Okay so there is a lot of feminine or gentle masculine energy to this person, their aura is pretty!😊💞 Haha one of the first things I got from this pile is that your person may have a very "voluminous figure" however that resonates for you, they could have a big/taller build, thicker body, or curvy even. Even if they are smaller or shorter in size, I think their energy and impression on others is very big and noticable. They have a nurturing and sweet side to them, also luxurious and earthly kind of beauty🍬 They could be blessed with abundance whether that's phsyical beauty or financial success👑 Signs that may be significant is Libra, Taurus, Sagittarius, Pisces, Virgo, and Cancer placements, Jupiter in 12th house, Venus-Jupiter and Venus-Moon aspects, virgo moon, jupiter in pisces, venus in cancer, virgo or sagittarius on their 12th house so for only some of you this person could be leo or scorpio rising.✨️ The person on your mind has a mysterious allure to them, you guys have a very spiritual and maybe even psychic connection with this person.🔮🩷 I'm hearing "trying to build a connection" that could be you or them, for a few of you the giant X emoji came out this could be an ex some of my pile 1's of asking about. I don't know why I almost said pile 4 lol if you felt called to that pile maybe take a look~👀 Your person has an ethereal vibe honestly, like they are a siren or something.🐚💕 Omg this pile has lyrics and "sweet creature" literally defines your person!! They may have an abundance of feminine energy or just gentle softer energy, you might feel very emotional over this person like this emoji "🥹" or that is how they look like to you, so innocent and caring. The terms "gentle giant" or "big heart" may resonate for your person, lovely energy. This could be a person/connection that you are coming back to or "retrying" so to speak. This person is very emotional and intuitive, overall lots of venus and jupiter energy for this pile!🤗🩷

🩷How do they feel about you: Fan, Acceptance, Sacrifice, Ex lover, Savior, Chiron, 1st house, Juno, 2nd house, Virgo,🪂🏝🦉😍

Wow this is interesting pile 1🙌 I'm not surprised to see ex lover come out which is confirmation for those who this is an ex.🤯 I think they are still in love with you, they can't let it go. For those in this pile this is not an ex, they feel attracted to you romantically. This person may have wounds regarding self image, they might have issues with their phsyical appearance or have low self esteem and there is an energy of wanting to be seen and accepted by you.🪞🥺🩷 You are their savior haha, they only feel loved and accepted by you. My pile 1's have a reliable and considerate energy and I think this person really admires that about you.🥰 I mean the heart eyes emoji came out like that is the feeling you give this person, they feel like the way you treat them and think of them is so nice. They feel like pulled to your caring and helpful nature, which is so sweet!🥹 Specific but some of my pile 4's may be Virgo sun or Virgo placements!✨️ This person wants you, or they just enjoy your company honestly. I can see for a lot of you this is more romantic feelings, your love heals this person.❤️‍🩹🩹 They also feel you are very beautiful/handsome, I'm hearing they are like a loving fan of you. They might feel a little bit codependent with your energy, because you make them feel better so they are a little addicted to the way you make them feel. Lol this person wants your energy around them, they do have a very spiritual vibe to them so that makes sense. My pile 1 this person may be wanting to sacrifice something to be with you/take the next step with you, take it as it resonates.💐 I'll be honest this person could have some attachment issues with you, like as a scenario if this is someone you walked away from, they keep coming back to you and they feel like they can't live without you. I think that is the effect you have on this person.🩷🔙 This person may be keeping an eye on you or taking steps spiritually or phsyically to get closer to you. If there is a third party situation I believe this person is willing to sacrifice others for you only, or they would want you to do that for them. I am getting a very needy energy, do not trust this person if they have a history of lies or manipulation, but for most in this pile there is a soft and genuinely loving energy from them.🥰 Please use your judgement for this person pile 1! Wow this pile got long, they feel very strong energetic connection with you.🫣🩷

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💬

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the coffee emoji~☕️ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🍨🍂🌸

Pile 2🩷

Sign energy: Guard, Collarbone, Difficult, Appreciation, Gaze, South node, Sagittarius, Sun, North node, 12th house,🤙🖥🕺🤞

🍨Your person's energy: Alright for this person, they may have had a difficult past or gone through a lot.😓 I feel a slightly drained energy, but it's not completely hopeless I think this person is still optimistic and doesn't let their past hurt them or destroy them. I'm hearing "gazing to the future" they have that mentality, that no matter what they will keep looking forward🌟⏳️ Wow honestly this person has such a bright mentality despite the darkness lurking in them. They may hide pain or fear behind their smile and confidence. Specific message this person could work as a security guard but for the most part that is just their energy which is defensive and even guarded at the moment.⚔️ They could be a Sagittarius sun, or pisces, jupiter placements, jupiter in sagittarius, north node in 12th house, sagittarius north node, jupiter dominant aswell so any of those may resonate.😊🩷 This person is hoping for the best, like they have their fingers crossed that things will work out for them. Their collarbone may be noticable, also their gaze is bright and determined.🤭🏆 Some of you may have fell out of connection with this person or the contact is distant or limited. They have a fun energy at times, they try to enjoy things. TV may be significant here, also dancing. Lol seems like they would be fun and hilarious at parties.🎉🪩 This person may have dreamed of being on tv or earning grand achievements. For some I'm seeing famous athlete or comedian, or having their own tv show😂 It seems like the past and future are very big themes in this person's energy, they might be going through a hard time or went through a rough patch until they can finally achieve true happiness and their ideal future. They are ambitious but also humble and they are thankful for every inch they have come in life.🥇

🩷How do they feel about you: Suffer, Moon, Habits, Performance, Play, 9th house, 7th house, 6th house, Fire, Saturn,👣😔😘👩‍🍳

So it looks like this person has lots of emotions towards my pile 2's! It's like they want to do their best in front of you, you make them nervous😬💓 Honestly this person may suffer a lot from feeling like they can't mess up or fail at your gaze, funny because gaze came out before now I see why. This person feels like you are a tough crowd, omg like they're so afraid of being awkward or embarrassing themselves around you🥲 I'm hearing they don't want to look like a clown to you🤡😭😭 lol pile 2 you make this person trip over themselves secretly and they don't want you to see it! I think your opinion means a lot to them for whatever reason, which they put a lot of pressure on themselves for. Omg this person just wants to be appreciated🥺🩷 Also they could act playful around you or they wish they could be that way, but they come off awkward or can't. They might have a crush and interest in dating you or just building a closer emotional bond with you.💐🔗 For some reason I'm feelings like theatre may resonate for some in this pile.🎭 Oh and this person may put on an act to appear a certain way to you, like acting tough, funny, like your best friend, or any way to be more likable.☹️ Yeah it just feels like this person really worries how you see them, they want to keep their relationship with you. They try so hard to be admirable, also they might even cry because they feel like a failure.😓💔 They want to keep up a good performance whether that is at work, school or just in a relationship with you. They feel like you might walk away, like the way an audience walks away from a show. Lol I feel like this person loves watching tv entertainment😂 But yeah they want to leave a good impression on you, honestly pile 2 it feels like this person does think of you often. They might be hoping for a romantic relationship with you or just your appreciation/validation at least.😢💗 They are feeling pretty stuck right now, but they are perfecting themselves and trying to gain more confidence in order to approach you. Such an interesting pile, I wish you luck my lovely pile 2's🌟

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💬

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the pink heart emoji~🩷 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🍨🍂🌸

Pile 3🧸

Sign energy: True intentions, Stop, Listen, Self sabotage, Mixed feelings, Jupiter, Fire, 12th house, 2nd house, Neptune,🗣🪷🙏☁️

🍨Your person's energy: Okay so if this is your pile, the person on your mind is very confusing and hard to read. It's unclear what they want or feel, you may wish they would just stop and listen to you. I think this person has a lot of personal issues honestly, they aren't kind to themselves and they don't open up to the signs that are yelling out to them😥🪧 I feel like my pile 3's are very spiritual people but this person may be resistant to spirituality or any signs from the universe. This person has been refusing to acknowledge your energy, sabotaging themselves as well as their connection with you.🔮❌️ Possible placements could be a Sagittarius, Pisces, or Taurus, Jupiter in 12th house, jupiter conjunct neptune, jupiter in a fire sign, also fire in 12th house. Praying and Lotus may be significant, especially in terms of spirituality. Honestly this pile is so complex, lol it's giving 12th house synastry. I feel like some of you may not really truly know this person's deepest self, like their true nature. This person may be silent with you right now, and for some in this pile they even ghosted you.🔇 Could be a no contact situation, or honestly this person just isn't communicating or being honest wtf? I feel like maybe you've tried to get through to them or try to understand them but their energy is just like ✋️🙄 Feels unavailable lol what is up with this person? Very very confusing vibes to this person. Their intentions and feelings are just hard to read, hence why you are here I'm sure.😅😭 I love you pile 3. I'm trying to see any more details about this person but it is just thick with clouds tbh. I'm hearing "clouded judgement" that could resonate with this person or situation, this person could have a spiritual awakening soon. You may feel unseen by them, overlooked, ignored or mislead. This person is sending mixed signals, they are distant af right now.

🩷How do they feel about you: No contact, End, Matchmaker, Move, Mirror, Juno, Cancer, 7th house, 6th house, Fire⭐️👆🕵️‍♂️🫶

Okay so for those of you who thought this connection was hopeless or not going anywhere, there is light at the end of the tunnel. So despite the emotional distance/no contact between you both, this person wants to make a commitment to you.🔒💗 For a lot of my pile 3's that means they view you as an idea romantic partner for them, and their energy wants to move forward with you.💐 This person does not want things to end between you both, that's what is coming through. Honestly this person sees you as their perfect match, I had to mention that because there is a lot of partnership energy here and with Mirror it feels like to this person, you are their other half. Serious pile 3 and the heart hands emoji is so sweet they want to take the next step with you.🥺💍💞 This could manifest in many different ways, for those who are in a relationship with this person they wish to propose or take your relationship to the next level.🩷 This person feels very attached to you energetically, like you belong with them. I'm hearing "home is where you are"😥🫂 There is also signs of a twin flame situation here for whoever that resonates to. They are surprisingly decisive about what kind of relationship they want with you now, there was a very messy and confusing energy before but now it is pretty clear.🤯 It feels like they have made up their mind about you already.🧠✔️ This person feels like you are the one for them, someone they could easily love for the rest of their life. They feel comfortable with your energy, also they want to end your sorrows and emotional burdens.😢 They feel your energy like a bright burning star, warming them up inside of their soul. For some of you this person is watching you from a distance which could be spiritually or phsyically depending on their availability.🔍🔭💕 They feel divinely guided to you, I'm hearing "I can make this work" hmm. This person may have been comfortable holding back or doing nothing in this connection but they realized that it can't go on like that anymore so they are putting a stop to what may have felt like lack of effort or inactivity towards your relationship.🫥🩶 Oh my gosh this makes sense because earlier in their energy it was like they were sabotaging their connection with you. Yeah so this person is having a realization now, all I'm hearing is they honestly want YOU, they want to move forward and make decisions that will support and advance this exclusive bond you guys share together.💗🥺 Wow.

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💬

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the teddy bear emoji~🧸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🍨🍂🌸

Pile 4🧁

Sign energy: Physical, Style, Aura, Destruction, Juno, 7th house, Scorpio, Neptune, 10th house,🩻🎀🌶🔑

🍨Your person's energy: Hmm okay interesting, so this person may be wrecking your mind lol😂 This person is either making you lose your mind or that is the effect they have on others subtly. Ngl this person has a hot energy🥵 Very deep and they make you want to fantastize... so anyway, your person has very attractive or pretty features. They could be physically attractive or appealing in some way.🩷 Okay for some of you this person could be your phsyical ideal type, or they look like someone you would want to marry. You find them really cute in some ways but also really hot in other ways, either this person has two sides or you see them that way.🎀🖤 Their energy can be very masculine or very feminine depending on their mood, there is a lot of romantic feelings towards this person!🤭💌 Signs for them could be Libra, Scorpio, Pisces, Capricorn, Juno in 7th house, scorpio neptune, neptune in 12th house, Juno in 10th house, Their energy feels very scorpio but they don't have to even have those placements. Something about this person is just mysterious and alluring, they could look very fashionable or their demeanor is edgy and cool/pretty.👑🩷 Their bones may be noticable, I feel like this person is sought after or people are secretly intimidated and obsessed with their presence. They could be a bit of a loner or they give off cold/aloof vibes at first glance, some of my pile 4's may look up to them I'm hearing "inspiration.✨️ This is just one example but like say this person has really good style and you admire that and wish you could match their vibe, that may resonate for some here.🛍 This could also simply be their captivating aura that seems so chill and attractive, little things you admire about this person. There is a very deep, sensual energy to this person, it's kinda giving scorpio rising in the way that this person makes others attracted and scared at the same time.😳 The effect the have on people reminds me of lilith placements. Their energy pulls you in, it's just magnetic and admirable. This person may give off an impression of looking dangerous or just hard to approach, either because they're pretty or drop dead gorgeous (lol why am I hearing monster high from the 2010's😂🖤) Their lower body is really showing up for this energy, um maybe that is something significant about them?😳🫣

🩷How do they feel about you: Luck, Cinderella, Responsibility, Work place, Trial and error, 3rd house, Pluto, Aries, 6th house, Leo,🤐🪞🫰👠

Alright this is where it gets interesting👏 So this person feels that you are working hard, or just you pick yourself up every time you fail. Some of you are really obsessive over this person, they feel that energy from you.💭👀🔗 This person sees you as someone very lucky, but only if you put forth effort. It feels like they are watching you stumble through every obstacle in your life, you intrigue them.💡 They might see you as someone a bit naive and maybe even seeming foolish, but you don't give up and they notice how strong you are.🥺✊️💖 Some of my pile 4's may know this person from work, but I only see that for a few of you. Their first impression of you may have been that you don't take things seriously or unprepared for whatever reason, but their view is now the total opposite. This person has a certain admiration towards you, it's like a pleasant surprise kind of feeling. They feel like you have proved yourself worthy for whatever it is you want in life.🏆🙌 I think they want you to be proud of how much you have accomplished, oh you know when I said you may feel inspired by this person, I think they feel the same way about you🥹🩷 That is sweet, It may have felt like this person looks down on you or they think they're out of your league. But this person feels like you are deserving, they feel like you have earned your place. This person is proud of you, and they might see themselves in you. If you feel like a failure to this person, they want to remind you how strong and amazing you are.🌟🤗 Honestly I am seeing this is someone who is staying silent or not able to speak with you right now, they could be keeping their words to themselves to keep from gossip or misunderstandings.🗣💬 You make this person very curious, they think you're interesting and entertaining. This person feels a powerful presence from you, like you seem passionate and ambitous in their eyes. They think you're attractive and energetic, but also they might feel like you're a little clumsy or chaotic sometimes.😅 Someone who has stumbled through a lot, they like your determination and will. It's like you have went through a transformation, they feel as if they have watched your energy shift from rags to riches.👑💞✨️ I think for the most part this person is interested to see where you go in life, they could be phsyically or energetically watching you reach your true potential and success with a smile. Such an inspiring message for this pile.😭

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💬

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the cupcake emoji~🧁 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🍨🍂🌸

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

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takaraphoenix · 23 days ago

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I saw someone refer to Steter as a comedy relief duo earlier and it just completely sent me, because that's just... so far from what Steter is, in canon?

As I'm currently rewatching the show, it has shot up into being my favorite ship on the show because of the gravitas it has.

It's a ship that highlights Stiles' fearlessness in such intriguing ways, in canon. From the boy who yelled at a feral Alpha in the school, to their first face to face meeting at the school, when Peter recognizes him, knows him, acknowledges him ("You must be Stiles", as though Stiles' reputation as the one who figures things out proceeds him, as he is the first one to put together that Peter is the Alpha).

There's nothing comedic about the scene on the lacrosse field, when Stiles is kneelng beside Lydia's unconscious form and Peter... for reasons beyond comprehension... decides to curl his claws beneath Stiles' chin and guide him up. Not grab him by the arm and haul him up, not command him, not demand.

This is... sensual, filled with tension, and I don't even necessarily mean the sexual tension (even though the imagery of Stiles kneeling before Peter and Peter grasping his chin is something that I find hard to not see a sexual read on).

Peter kidnaps Stiles into the parking garage to force the boy to track down Derek and, sure, the "His username is Allison? His password is also Allison?" - "Still want him in your pack?" is absolutely iconic and is comedic... how do you boil that entire exchange down to "comedy relief"?

The way Peter offers Stiles the bite - Peter, who so far, only took whatever he wanted, never asked or offered - and doesn't force when Stiles says "No". Even the way Peter catches Stiles on the lie is a moment of tension and revelation on Stiles' part. The way Peter acknowledges Stiles as the clever one.

The season 1 finale? When Stiles sets the survivor of a horrific house fire on fire? Absolute riot, huh. It's vicious, it's cruel - it's everything.

And when Peter is resurrected? Sure, Stiles sarcastically asks if someone can kill him again and sure, Peter snarks about living in a cave system. But even in that episode, these brief comedic moments are absolutely overshadowed by the way Peter and Stiles work together, figure out what the vault is made of, then call Scott to warn him and Derek, by finishing each other's sentences. Two brilliant minds working together, on the same wavelength.

The next time they interact is when Peter tells Stiles about Paige, explains what the blue eyes mean. It's one of the more heavy and serious moments in the season, aside from all the death scenes. It's a big lore drop and character background on both Peter and Derek. And it's Stiles this information is shared with. It's a serious moment and even as Peter tells it all, Stiles doesn't trust, sees past the silver tongue and that too is part of the appeal.

When Peter and Stiles work together to save Cora's life in the hospital, while the Alpha Pack is hunting them down? Blind trust. Stiles asks Peter to help him and Peter doesn't even ask, much less quip, he just follows Stiles' lead and they work together.

Now, I'll admit, I haven't seen seasons 3B through 6 in six years and hey, maybe they'll be a real Abbott and Costello in season 4 and I'm just not remembering it, but damn it all to hell if the first half of the show doesn't present them as two clever minds challenging each other, with a growth from terror and pain to respect and teamwork.

I understand and respect not liking a ship, but I am genuinely baffled when people deliberately misinterpret a canon to suit their needs. Always makes me wonder what alternate reality's version of the show they were watching, surely not the same as me.

#Steter #Teen Wolf #Peter Hale #Stiles Stilinski

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imaginespazzi · 2 months ago

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Part 12: Fleeting Moments Of Forever

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 13

I let my guard down and you pulled the rug (I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved)

(In which a depressed by recent events author spreads her depression)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Fluff if you squint really hard, Hurt with a little bit of comfort if you squint really hard again (basically just squint you guys!)

Words: 12.3K

TW: Swearing (as per usual), a man (ew), brief reference to parental abandonment

A/N: Good morning/night my lovelies <3 Not quite sure what to say when it's one in the morning and I'm slightly delirious but I'm only a couple of hours late with this. There's a lot going on in this chapter and I'm sure I will once again be spammed with asks calling me evil, but remember lovelies, it's for the plot! I will be editing this chapter at some point tomorrow because I just really don't have the energy to edit but I wanted to get this out for you guys by tonight. So if you're reading tonight and see mistakes, please feel free to point them out and I'll fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see in the future. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves!

May 2033

~ A few minutes ago ~

Azzi feels like shit as she runs up the stairs behind her daughter. She feels like a shit mother, she feels like a shit sister-in-law-sort-of-kinda-thing and most of all she feels like a shit ex-girlfriend-turned-complicated-current-situationship-or-whatever. And saying those complicated relationship titles in her head only makes her feel worse. Because really it should’ve been so simple; it had been so simple. And Azzi had chosen to make everything complicated and difficult instead.

Drew’s words had been like a shot going down wrong, an accusation she knew she deserved but one that stung all the same. Paige’s silence -the fact that she hadn’t been able to give Azzi the assurance that she’d forgiven her- had been like the terrible chaser after that only made her feel more nauseous. And the after effects of it had been Azzi exploding all her feelings on her baby girl who’d just wanted some damn soda.

Letting the guilt fester, Azzi pushes open the door to Paige’s bedroom to find Stephie cuddled up against lavender pillows, one of Paige’s few hoodies that hadn’t made it to the Fudd household draped around her tiny little body. Azzi’s heart constricts at the sound of her daughter’s hiccoughs, tightening even more when she notices the wet patch Stephie’s tears have created against the pillow.

“Stephie-bean,” she says softly as she climbs onto the bed, reaching out to brush a hand across the little girl’s curled up frame.

“Go away Mama. I’m mad at you,” Stephie’s petulant reply is immediate as she shrugs off Azzi’s hand, furling away further into herself.

“I know sweetheart-”

“You yelled at me,” Stephie continues, trying to keep her voice as firm as a five-year old’s can be but it’s too many emotions for such a little soul and Azzi can hear the telltale sign of a fresh new set of tears just waiting to fall.

She tries again, gently pulling Stephie’s back against her chest and this time, there’s little resistance as the little girl goes easily into her mother’s arms. Azzi tightens her arms around Stephie’s waist, pressing a litany of featherlight kisses into her hair in between apologies, “I’m sorry. Mama’s so sorry sweetheart. I shouldn’t’ve yelled like that baby-”

“No you shouldn’t’ve,” Stephie says matter-of-factly, as she turns her body around to face her mother’s and Azzi’s hands instinctively move to wipe away the tears tracks on her face, “you were so loud. I don’t like when you yell.”

“I know bean,” Azzi says, the tight grip of remorse squeezing her heart harder at the melancholy in her daughter’s words, “but Stephie baby you know soda’s bad for you-”

“But it’s Friday Mama and I only wanted a little,” the little girl whines immediately, “I swear Mama I would’ve only had a little bit and then I would brushed my teeth so hard and they’d be sparkling white like this,” she pulls her cheeks wide open so she can bare her pearly white teeth at her mother, “see!”

And despite that heavy pit in her stomach, Azzi can’t help the slight peal of laughter that rumbles throughout her and elicits a matching grin from her daughter. She ruffles the little girl’s hair before pulling her flush against herself, Stephie’s head burrowing itself into the crook of her neck and for the first time tonight, Azzi finally feels like she can breathe again. Because at the end of the day, what matters most is the child wrapped securely in her arms and as long as she has Stephie, Azzi thinks, no matter what, she’ll find a way to survive. For Stephie.

Something soft and fluffy brushes against her skin and Azzi reluctantly unfocuses from Stephie to find that the arm of the hoodie that had previously been draped over her daughter’s body, is now wrapped around both of them. Paige’s hoodie. She stares at the material, eyes blinking back tears as that wretched feeling of something’s missing whirls around her. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling; this secret craving that Azzi had often found herself hiding away from when she and Stephie were alone. A craving to have Paige there too, a craving for the two of them to be cradled in the blonde’s strong arms, a craving for this almost perfect picture to be complete. And now that she’s had a taste of what it’s like to have that - these past few weeks having felt like a tester of what it could be like to live in a dream that Azzi had thought she was no longer allowed to dream- Azzi wants nothing more than for it to be permanent.

Another wave of guilt crashes against her as her mind flickers back to the bitter note she’d ended the conversation down stairs on. The stinging emphasis she’d placed on my daughter echoes loudly in her ears and even though Azzi knows that technically she hadn’t said anything untrue, the image of Paige’s face falling -the sparkle in her eyes dimming at the reality of the younger woman’s words- makes Azzi’s heart stutter with regret. There’s a part of her that thinks it’s all happening too fast, a part of her that’s in a constant duel with the rest of herself that’s ready to call Stephie theirs. And she knows it’s only been a couple of weeks -knows that it’s a little insane to have already carved out a place for forever on a shelf that’s plagued with uncertainties- but the truth is that there’s always been an unfilled space in Azzi and Stephie’s world that’s just been waiting for Paige to step in and claim it. It’s always been hers; they’ve always been hers.

“Mama,” Stephie’s quiet voice mumbles against her chest and Azzi distractedly hums in return, “why does Miss Buecks have to learn to say no to me?”

“Because she likes to say yes a little too much and she definitely likes to say yes to you but if she keeps saying yes all the time, she’s gonna spoil you. Well more than you already are that is,” Azzi teases goodnaturedly, tugging at Stephie’s nose.

The little girl pouts loudly before indignantly refuting her mother’s statement, “I am not spoiled. I’m a good girl. A very good girl. A very, very, very, very, very-”

‘Okay, okay, okay,” Azzi says, hushing the little girl with a slight laugh before she can continue to repeat herself, “you’re my very good girl who’s just a little bit spoiled.”

“Maybe a little bit,” Stephie admits, scrunching her nose, “but how come you never make Aunty Leen or Aunty J or Aunty Tessie or any of your other teammates say no to me?”

“Because-well,” Azzi struggles to find the words, “Miss Buecks is- she’s just- it’s different and she’s around a lot more,” she’s around all the time, “and so she’s gotta learn to say no to you sometimes.”

“Like Pops had to learn to say no to me if he wanted to keep helping Nana babysit?” Stephie asks earnestly and Azzi laughs at the reminder of how she and Katie had basically had to force Tim into learning how to say no to his persuasive granddaughter.

“Yeah something like that,” she says with an amused grin.

“So Miss Buecks is like-” Stephie pauses, hesitating slightly before a soft smile -one that bears an uncanny resemblance to the one her mother sometimes has when thinking of the same woman- appears on her face, “she’s like family?”

Azzi’s breath hitches in her throat; the delicate mix of sincerity and innocence in her daughter’s voice makes her pause. Because Stephie says it like it’s the most simple yet most important truth in the word, that’s it’s common knowledge she’s known all her life. Paige is family.

“Yeah,” the brunette breathes out finally, the edges of her lips slightly upturning into a grin that matches her daughter’s, “I guess she is.”

Stephie nods quietly as she mulls over her mother’s answer and Azzi can practically see the cogs turning in her brain before her daughter’s dark brown thoughtful eyes look back up at her, “so does that mean we can keep Miss Buecks forever?”

“I-’

“I mean cause you said she’s family right?” Stephie babbles on, ignoring the way Azzi’s eyes have widened considerably, “and family- family is forever right Mama? That’s what they say? So- so if Miss Buecks is family that means she has to stay forever? We get to keep her forever?”

Azzi blinks rapidly at the onslaught of words falling from her daughter’s lips. Stephie makes it sound so simple; she makes a forever with the three of them sound like a given, like something that’s meant to be. And it makes her think of that night eight years ago, when Paige had made it sound just as simple.

Be mine forever.

It was Azzi who had made it complicated; obsolete even.

But, she thinks, she won’t this time. As she looks back down at her daughter, the hopeful smile on Stephie’s face as she awaits Azzi’s answer, feels a little bit like fate is giving her another chance; a clear sky to re-write her own destiny in the stars. This time, with Paige.

“Do you- do you want that,” Azzi asks slowly, “do you want to keep Miss Buecks forever?”

If possible Stephie’s smile grows even larger as she gives her mother what can only be described as a ‘duh’ look, “of course Mama. I want Miss Buecks forever and ever and ever. You want that too don’t you Mama?”

Azzi pauses for a second, letting herself be immersed in the idea.

“Yeah,” she says softly, her eyes suddenly misty. And she knows that there’s still so much left unresolved, that tonight had revealed a chiasm of problems they’d have to still build a bridge over to get back to each other. But for a chance at a forever Azzi had thought she’d long forsaken, Azzi’s willing to try, “yeah I think I’d like to keep Miss Buecks forever too.”

The squeal Stephie lets out practically bounces off the walls in tandem with the little girl springing off the bed and Azzi laughs as her daughter wraps her small hands around her mother’s much larger ones, trying to tug her along.

“Stephie wait sweetheart, what are you doing? Where are you going?”

Stephie sighs impatiently, “we’re going to Miss Buecks, Mama. We can’t just make this decision without her,” she continues matter-of-factly, “we have to tell her.”

“Tell her what Stephie?” Azzi laughs as she finally lets her daughter pull her off the bed and start dragging her out the door.

“We have to tell her that she’s family and we have to tell her that we want to keep her forever.”

***

They’re about halfway down the stairs when Azzi begins to hear the whispered hissing of an argument between Paige and Drew going on in the kitchen and she feels dread wrap itself around her whole body. It doesn’t take a genius to gauge that it’s likely about her -more specifically about her and Paige’s relationship- and suddenly it feels like something dark has been cast all over her, stomping out the brightness that she’d felt just mere moments ago.

Azzi hesitates on the last few steps, causing Stephie to impatiently look up at her as she contemplates whether or not to interrupt whatever altercation is going on in the kitchen. For as long as she’d known them, Paige and Drew had never seriously fought but then again, when Azzi had known them, Drew had been a child; a kid who would never have doubted his sister's decision, or Azzi’s for that matter. But the man that had walked into their lives tonight is one that had been witness -perhaps even a victim- to all the terrible decisions the two of them had made in the last eight years. It’s only natural, Azzi thinks, that he’d be wary of their relationship. He’d seen the burn marks that their relationship catching on fire had left on his sister’s skin and it was only natural that he’d blame the woman who’d held the matches.

“Mama,” Stephie presses as she tugs at Azzi’s hand, “come on,” she whines, “I wanna see Miss Buecks.”

“Steph-” Azzi tries to say, her instincts going haywire when she hears Paige’s voice more clearly now -stop it Drew- but then Stephie pulls hard and she’s practically tripping down the rest of the stairs, trying to keep balance as the little girl holding her hand continues to drag her towards the kitchen.

They’re still speaking too quietly for Azzi to pick up exactly what they’re saying but there’s a resigned urgency in Drew’s voice and a fearful sadness in Paige’s that makes bile rise at the back of her throat and suddenly Azzi’s very sure that whatever this conversation is, she really doesn’t want to hear it. But her feet keep moving, letting Stephie lead the way as the claws of it takes a second for everything to fall apart sink into her heart.

“-there’s a reason you only wanted to be here for this season,” Azzi hears Drew say as they finally reach the kitchen door and she forces Stephie to a halt. Every part of her is screaming to take her daughter and turn away, to not listen to wherever this conversation she clearly wasn’t meant to hear is going.

“I know,” Paige whispers and Azzi’s heart stutters as she takes in the blonde’s red-rimmed eyes as she leans against the table, “I know.”

Azzi opens her mouth, ready to alert the brother-sister duo of their presence but before she can say anything, Drew’s speaking again and as the words roll out of his mouth, Azzi feels her blood run cold.

“Stick to the plan Paige. Let the Liberty be the end goal. You’ll be in New York by the end of October.”

The plan. Liberty. New York. October.

The words run around in a frenzy through Azzi’s brain creating a mixture of confusion battling with the sense of an unwanted realization that makes her feel dizzy. It’s like someone pricking a needle against the bubble of forever she’d just let herself believe in and there’s a loud pop echoing in her head. The noise hurts. Azzi had known Paige’s contract with GSV was only for a year; she’d even considered -perhaps even expected- that when Paige had signed it, she probably wasn’t planning on staying forever.

But that was then.

Surely things would be different now.

“Miss Buecks,” Azzi’s dragged out of the cacophony of her mind by the sound of her daughter speaking. Stephie’s voice is wracked with fragility as she clings tightly onto her mother’s hand, her face morphed into a combination of betrayal and please tell me i’m wrong as she looks at Paige, whose face has gone ashen at the sight of the two of them standing by the doorway, “you’re moving to New York?”

“Stephie,” Paige whispers, eyes brimming with tears as she falls to her knees in front of the little girl, hand moving to grip her her shoulders, “sweetheart I-”

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie says again, her usually boisterous tone replaced by a meek, desperate one, “are you going to New York? Are you- are you,” her voice breaks and the next words come out in a barely there whisper, “are you leaving us?”

Say no, Azzi thinks, please say no, say you aren’t leaving, promise you’d never leave. But as she watches Paige open and close her mouth, choking on air as she tries to give an answer, she knows it’s wishful thinking, knows that it’s a promise Paige isn’t going to make.

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie’s voice is shaking, holding back her tears as tight as she’s holding onto the hope that Paige will give her the answer she wants- the answer she needs, “are you leaving us?”

“I-” Paige bites her lip, hands running up and down Stephie’s shoulder and arms, almost like she’s trying to memorize what it feels like to be able to touch her, almost like, she’s not sure when she'll get the chance to have her this close again again, “I don’t- I don’t know sweetheart I-”

It’s the wrong answer and Azzi closes her eyes as Paige cuts herself off with a small gasp of air when Stephie rips herself out of the blonde's grasp

“No,” the little girl says harshly, pushing herself behind her mothers legs.

“Stephie-bean,” Paige says helplessly, looking from the little girl to Azzi.

“No, no, no, no,” Stephie says; each no is louder than the last, “how you don’t know? You’re an ‘dult. ‘Dults are big. They know everything so how you don't know Miss Buecks?”

“It’s not that simple bean-” Paige tries to say, her hands outstretched towards the little girl, fingers clenching and unclenching like they don’t know how to be still unless they’re clasping onto her.

“It is,” Stephie yells, “are you leaving us or not? Yes or no Miss Buecks?”

“I-” the blonde splutters, still unsure of what to say.

“Stephie,” it’s Azzi who cuts Paige off this time, opening her eyes as she bends down in front of her daughter, pulling the little girl into a hug, “baby it’s okay. It’s going to be okay-”

“No it’s not,” Stephie screams as she wrangles herself out of her mother’s grip, the force of it causing Azzi to stumble backwards and something like if you’re going to hold me, hold me forever catches in her throat when Paige instinctively reaches out an arm to wrap around the her waist to keep her steady. The contact makes Azzi shiver and she has to fight the urge to let her shoulders relax, the urge to let herself melt into the warmth that Paige has always exuded. They stare at each other for a second, Azzi trying to drown herself in the ocean blue of the blonde’s eyes as Paige tries to find some semblance of stability to hold onto in the brunette’s earthy ones.

“Azzi,” Paige breathes out, that one syllable coated in layers of emotions that Azzi thinks she’d be willing to spend an eternity peeling through if it would bring her one step closer to keeping the woman in front of her from leaving, from going to fucking New York.

“Mama I wanna go home,” Stephie’s adamant voice pierces through the silence and Azzi tears her gaze away from Paige -but not before she can catch a brief glance of the older woman’s face contorting in pain- to look up at her daughter's cloudy face.

“Stephie-bean,” Paige speaks before Azzi can, heartbreak laced in her tone as she practically pleads with the little girl, “sweetheart please-”

“You promised you’d try to stay” Stephie bursts out, big fat tears cascading down her small face, “do you even rem-ber? At Nana and Pops’s house when I was scared you left you promised you’d try. But you’re not- you’re not even trying to stay Miss Buecks,” the little girl accuses, “you- you- you lied to me Miss Buecks.”

“I didn’t Stephie- I didn’t lie-” Paige tries to explain between her own tears and they’re still pressed so close together that Azzi can feel every shake of the older woman’s body against her own, “I didn’t lie sweetheart. I’m still- I’m still trying-”

“You’re not-”

“I am. I am Stephie. It’s just-” Paige’s eyes flicker towards Azzi who flinches at the unspoken implication, “it’s complicated.”

“Then un-comp-icate it,” Stephie stomps her feet petulantly before a series of heavy sobs wracked her tiny body and she heaves loudly, clutching at her chest.

Concern floods through Azzi’s veins as she shuffles towards her daughter, still on her knees and Paige follows her lead, the two of them inching closer, “Stephie-”

Something shifts as Stephie looks at the two of them through tear-stained eyelashes; the anger and fight slowly dissolving into the air. And then, if possible, her face crumples even more before she’s falling into Paige’s lap, one arm tightly wrapping around the blonde’s neck as her other hand reaches out to grab onto Azzi’s bicep, binding the three of them together in a mess of limbs on the cold kitchen floor.

“Please don’t go Miss Buecks,” Stephie wails as Paige clutches the little girl firmly against her chest, her hands brushing through her dark curls as she tries to comfort her, “please, please, please Miss Buecks I don’t want you to go. Don’t go to New York. Please don’t go. Please stay- stay with me and Mama forever. Please Miss Buecks.”

“Stephie-”

“Please don’t leave us Miss Buecks,” Stephie cries, her breathing unnaturally heavy as she shakes in Paige’s arms and Azzi reaches out a hand to soothe her back, trying and failing to keep her own tears at bay. Azzi’s chest tightens as Stephie continues to babble, begging Paige to stay as the blonde continues to hold her, droplets of water streaming down her face as she gently rocks the little girl back and forth. Because despite the way Paige has practically melded Stephie’s little body into her own, Azzi can see the way that the older woman still can’t seem to say the words that the little girl wants to hear, can’t seem to bring herself to guarantee forever. And it feels like the threads of the dream she’d just started weaving, are slipping out of her fingertips.

Azzi doesn’t know how long they sit there -Stephie still pleading in Paige’s arms and Azzi stroking her back- but eventually her daughter’s words begin to turn into nonsense, her breathing slowly evening out until there’s nothing but silence; the gravity of her emotions having lulled her to sleep. The silence is deafening as Azzi tries to figure out what exactly she should do next, take her daughter and run or succumb to that part of herself that wants to follow Stephie’s lead and beg Paige to never leave them. She still doesn’t quite understand what’s going on, what sort of plan Paige has about moving to New York and if she’s honest with herself, there’s a part of her that doesn’t want to know; a part of her that wants to go back to ignorant bliss they’d been living in for the last few weeks. But as she stares at the dried tear tracks staining her daughter’s face -that familiar guilt of all we do is hurt the people around us reverberating between her and Paige- Azzi knows there’s no going back.

“We should talk,” Paige says finally, her voice small as she looks at Azzi, “please.”

Azzi swallows as she wipes at her tears, ignoring the way Paige’s eyes trace her fingers, like they wish it was her brushing them away instead. She ignores the part of heart that wants that too, wants Paige’s comfort, just wants Paige.

“Yeah, yeah I guess we should,” she says finally, “but um- I should- um,” she gestures towards Stephie’s sleeping body, “should uh- probably put her to bed first.”

“Right- yeah- yeah of course,” Paige nods awkwardly as Azzi reaches to pry Stephie off of her.

The little girl lets out a low sleepy whine, her hands tightening around Paige’s neck, “no Miss Buecks don’t let me go.”

“Stephie,” Azzi’s heart breaks at the fear etched on her daughter’s face, despite being fast asleep, at the idea of being taken away from her Miss Buecks.

“I’ve got you sweetheart,” Paige whispers softly against the little girl’s hair before looking back at Azzi, her eyes swimming with guilt, “I can- I can take her upstairs.”

A part of Azzi wants to say no, wants to start taking out stitches in the places where Stephie and Paige have already sewn themselves together. There’s a part of her that regrets having ever given them the needle in the first place, a part of her that wishes she’d never let her daughter get so attached, when there were so many uncertainties about the strength of the thread between them.

But instead she says, “fine,” as she follows Paige up the stairs, heart constricting at the softness with which the other woman holds her little girl.

“Put her in one of the guest rooms,” Azzi calls out quietly when Paigs starts to turn into her own room.

The blonde stops in her tracks, turning around to face Azzi and she has to look away when she sees the stricken expression on Paige’s face. They were meant to be having a sleepover. The night was supposed to end with the three of them curled in Paige’s bed, supposedly watching some random movie but in actuality, Stephie would have dosed off in the middle of it and Paige and Azzi, with their hands entwined over the little girl’s body, would have spent the rest of it talking about everything and nothing. That’s how it was meant to go; it was meant to have been just another night like any of the other ones they’d spent together the last couple of weeks. But now that normalcy seems like an out of reach fairytale.

“Az-” Paige tries to argue but there isn’t much fight in it and just the slight defeated shake of Azzi’s head is enough to have the older woman biting her lip and doing as she’s asked.

Azzi hangs back by the doorway as Paige gently places Stephie down on the bed, pulling up the moss green covers over the little girl’s body. It feels wrong, Azzi thinks, as her mind drifts back to a few moments ago when Stephie had been cuddled in Paige’s purple bedsheets; that had felt right, like a place her daughter could truly belong. She shuffles her feet nervously as she watches Paige caress Stephie’s cheeks before pressing her lips against the little girl’s forehead.

“I love you Miss Buecks,” Azzi hears Stephie mutter and she digs her fingernails into her palms.

Paige lets out a quiet whimper, shuddering slightly as she echoes the words back, “I love you more Stephie-bean.”

That should be enough, Azzi thinks, it should be enough that Stephie loves Paige and Paige loves Stephie to keep them together. And it’s not fair that it isn’t but if there’s anyone that knows that sometimes love isn’t quite enough to keep two people together, it’s Azzi. There’s too much there, too much history and she’d been naive to think the past wouldn’t cast a dark shadow on her present.

The walk back downstairs feels like it takes an eternity; like they’re climbing back down from a tall mountain. Azzi walks ahead of Paige and she can feel the blonde’s gaze lingering on her back, can practically feel the tension vibrating off of her body at the prospect of the talk they’re about to have. Drew stands at the bottom of the stairs, nervously pacing with his hands stuffed in his pocket. His eyes move up to meet Azzi’s when she finally reaches the last step and he looks a lot like the little boy who’d once accidentally spilled a glass of water all over one of her favorite books. He has that same guilty look he’d had back then when he’d apologized profusely, swearing he’d save up all his pocket money just to buy her another one.

“I’m sorry,” Drew says in a rush, “I didn’t know you guys were coming back down and I didn’t know Stephie was gonna hear that-any of that. I swear Azzi- you know I wouldn’t have said any of that shit if I knew she was gonna hear-”

“It’s fine Drew,” Azzi reassures him, hesitating slightly before reaching out a hand to gently pat his cheek and she’s relieved when he doesn’t immediately back away, “I know you didn’t mean to.”

Drew lets out a small sigh of relief, “okay good cause I really didn’t. I uh-” his gaze flutters between Paige and Azzi, “I’ll um- I’ll let you guys talk now,” he pauses in front of Paige, who looks about as miserable as Azzi feels, “love you no matter what Paigey,” he whispers before giving her a quick peck on her forehead and squeezing her shoulder.

And then it’s just the two of them and the heavy burden of everything they can no longer ignore.

***

April 2027

Azzi grips the armrest tightly, her eyes screwed shut as the plane shakes rapidly while preparing to land. For someone who’s pretty-well travelled and has dealt with her fair share of turbulent plane rides, Azzi still finds herself going ridgid every time an aircraft she’s on starts getting a little too bumpy. She can practically hear Paige’s teasing voice -even after all this time- calling her a big baby but the blonde would have laced their fingers together anyway, distracted her with some random story and she’d have held on to her hand -no matter how sweaty- until the plane stopped moving.

God, Azzi misses her so fucking much.

But hopefully she won’t have to for much longer. Azzi’s not quite sure what’ll happen after she lands in Dallas, hasn’t -in a very un-Azzi-like step- even really practiced what she wants to say. But, and she knows it’s a little dramatic but she thinks she can probably come up with a mix of apologizing, begging for forgiveness and declaring her undying love that would atleast get Paige to consider giving her another chance.

There’s this hollow ache in her chest that hasn’t gone away for the last two years. And Azzi had tried to ignore it, had tried to shift her focus to everything else -everything good- that was happening in her life. But even after she’d had an All-American last season at UConn, even after she’d let that team to a back-to-back national championship, even after she’d been the first pick of the 2026 draft to GSV, even after she’d won rookie of the year, there was a still lingering pain -a deep rooted sense of something she’d lost- etched through her whole body. The thing is that Azzi knows she can survive -can even succeed- without Paige- but she doesn’t want to. Not anymore.

The decision was a long-time coming, the inevitable leap of faith to chase after what she wanted most in the world. But it had all clicked into place at the most mundane of times. She’d been at the park on her regular morning run and she’d seen a family -two women who’d looked at each other like they’d stop breathing if they looked away and their beautiful baby girl who was happily swinging in between them- and suddenly everything else had felt so insignificant in comparison. She’d been forced to admit the truth she’d been trying so hard to run away from. That was the future Azzi wanted -perhaps not immediately but eventually- and she wanted it with Paige.

Azzi hadn’t let herself overthink it, knowing that if she gave herself enough time, she’d more than likely talk herself out of it. Instead, she’d booked the tickets from San Francisco to Dallas in a rush and then called Ice -the newly anointed Dallas Wing rookie- and it hadn’t taken much to convince her former teammate - who’d all but squealed at the idea of her ‘parents getting back together’- to pick her up from the airport and drive her straight to Paige’s.

“She’s gonna be so happy,” Ice had assured her, “I mean I’ve only been here like a week but I know for sure she misses you Az. Oh my god this is so exciting,” and Azzi had laughed as she’d listened to the sound of her friend giddily clapping, “I’m so excited for the two of you. You belong together.”

A serene smile crosses Azzi’s face, and she knows it must look a little ridiculous just smiling to herself like this, but all she can think about is that she’d be with Paige soon. And she’s not naive enough to think that everything would miraculously be okay; she knows just how deeply her rejection must have pierced into Paige’s soul. But if the other woman gives her the chance, Azzi’s ready to spend an eternity making it up to her.

She sucks in a deep breath as the wheels of the plane collide with the runway, her eyes crinkling slightly as she realizes the weather app had lied to her and instead of the ambient evening she’d expected, it’s torrential downpour outside. In hindsight, maybe that should have been her first sign. But for now, Azzi smiles at the raindrops trickling down the window, clichéd memories of kissing in the rain -”baby come on, it's romantic, who cares if we get sick”- flooding her brain.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dallas Fort Worth International Airport. The time outside is currently 7 pm in the evening. We hope you had a good flight and on behalf of Delta Airlines, we wish you a pleasant stay,” the pilot’s voice croons throughout the speakers as Azzi fidgets with her necklace, her last Christmas gift from Paige.

Just a little while longer baby. I’m coming to you. Forever.

***

The nerves she’d kept at bay hit Azzi all at once as soon as she climbs into Ice’s car; the thoughts of everything that could possibly go wrong barrage into her mind as she watches the windshield wipers furiously fight against the rain. What if Paige doesn’t wanna see her? What if Paige isn’t willing to give her another chance? What if Paige hates her?

“Dude,” Ice groans, briefly looking away from the road to flick Azzi’s arm, “I can literally hear you thinking. Chill the fuck out!”

“I’m trying,” Azzi whines, leaning her head against the cool window, “Fuck, Ice what if this is the dumbest shit I’ve ever done in my life? What if she sees me and is like ‘what the fuck are you doing here,’ what if she tells me go home? Oh my god Ice why the fuck did you let me do this?”

“Let you?” Ice splutters indignantly, “oh no no no. You are not putting this on me. You didn’t even let me say anything when you called. It was literally ‘hey Ice, I’m coming to Dallas, make sure you pick me up in 6 hours okay thanks�� and next thing I know you’re in Dallas,” the younger girl mimics the phone-call as Azzi continues to groan.

“This is why I leave the spontaneous shit up to Paige,” she says, stressfully rubbing her face.

“Yeah but-” Ice gives her a lopsided grin, her tone softening considerably, “she’s gonna love that you did this for her Az. Trust me dude- the two of you- you’re meant to be. Everyone’s always known that. She’s gonna be so fucking happy to see you.”

“Thank Icey,” Azzi says softly, dragging in another deep breath, “I needed to hear that.”

“Any time Az, any time,” Ice reaches over to squeeze her hand and Azzi finally lets herself relax into her seat.

The rest of the car ride consists of reminiscing their time at UConn -it’s strange to think that they’re both alums now- and Ice telling Azzi stories about her move from Connecticut to Texas. Anticipation builds in Azzi’s stomach as she glances at the GSP, eyes fixating on the ‘3 minutes till your destination’ bubble on the bottom left corner.

Her destination.

Azzi thinks no matter how much she’d tried to fight, no matter how much she’d tried to turn and walk the other way, all roads were always meant to lead here. Paige was always meant to be her final destination. She’s not one for fairytales, doesn’t think life began with once upon a time, but as Ice’s car comes to halt opposite the blonde’s apartment, Azzi hopes that her life has a happily ever after where she and Paige get to write the ending of their stories together.

“We’re here,” Ice says slowly, smiling ear to ear as she turns towards Azzi, “go get your girl.”

“Okay, okay-” Azzi whispers to herself, “you’ve got this Azzi. Just fall to your knees and tell her you’re sorry and that you love her,” she shoves Ice when the younger girl snorts at her little pep talk and then breathes in deeply, “it’s gonna be okay. I’ve got this. I’ve got this!”

“You’ve got this,” Ice affirms, forever a supportive child.

Taking one more breath, Azzi’s just about to step outside, when she sees her. Paige is walking, almost running towards her apartment. Despite the rain, in typical Paige-fashion, the blonde doesn’t have an umbrella. Strands of wet hair are plastered against her forehead and little droplets of rain cascade down her face and neck. Her shirt sticks to her body so that Azzi can see the definition of her abs and the younger woman would love to take a moment to appreciate just how fucking hot Paige looks but instead, her eyes follow the bulge of the blonde’s biceps down to where her hands are interlocked with someone else’s. Someone else who’s not Azzi.

She gasps for air but she swears it’s carbon dioxide that settles in her lungs instead because god, does it burn.

Paige is laughing, eyes twinkling as she and a beautiful woman -a beautiful woman who isn’t Azzi- race to get out of the rain. She hears Ice curse behind her, sounding just as confused as she feels as the two of them watch the scene unfold in front of them, watching Paige and the woman come to halt right in front of the blonde’s apartment building.

“Az maybe we should-”

“Who is that?” Azzi cuts Ice off, her eyes still transfixed on the two smiling women.

Ice sighs, “her name’s Olivia. She’s a reporter for the Dallas Morning News-”

“And who is she to Paige?” Azzi asks bitterly, as if she doesn’t know the answer, as if the way Paige is wrapping an arm around that woman’s waist isn’t enough of an answer in itself.

“I don’t know. Azzi I swear I didn’t know she had a-” Ice hesitates, “she hasn’t told me anything about another woman.

Azzi doesn’t say anything, hand tightly gripping the car door she hadn’t even had a chance to open as she watches Paige brush a loose strand of hair out of the woman’s face.

The tip of the dagger pierces against her heart.

The woman smiles at Paige as she wraps her arms around the blonde’s neck and now they’re pressed flush against each other, barely any space between them.

The dagger digs deeper.

Paige caresses the woman’s cheeks.

The dagger twists.

It happens in slow motion; Paige moving ever so slowly as she presses her lips against the woman’s.

And the dagger lodges itself somewhere so deep inside Azzi, she thinks it might be permanently entrenched inside her soul.

It’s funny, Azzi thinks as she watches the two women break apart -their hands intertwining again as they start walking into the apartment- anyone else watching this scene would perhaps think of it as something straight out of a romantic comedy. But to Azzi, it feels like the climax scene of a tragedy.

“Can you take me back to the airport?” she says slowly, still watching Paige’s retreating back.

“What- no Azzi I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Ice disagrees immediately, “c’mon we’ll go back to my place and I swear I have some good vodka left over from my housewarming party-”

“Ice please,” Azzi begs, her voice hoarse, “I just wanna go home. Please.”

“Okay, okay. Whatever you say Azzi,” Ice concedes softly, already starting to pull away from the curb.

“You can’t tell her about this, you know that right?”

“Az-”

“No Ice. She’s moved on and she’s allowed to move on,” the words feel like thorns on the tip of her tongue, “she looks happy. I won’t ruin that. You can’t tell her. You can’t ever tell her.”

“Fine,” Ice nods reluctantly, “I won’t say anything.”

Azzi allows herself one more look back at the apartment, allows herself one more second to dream of Paige running back outside, spotting her and telling her that all of this is just one big misunderstanding, telling her that she hasn’t found someone else, telling her that she’s still Azzi’s. But dreams aren’t reality. No, reality is the fact that Paige looked happy, looked happy with someone that wasn’t Azzi. And even if that damn fucking dagger -sharpened with the image of Paige and someone else- is making her bleed out, Azzi thinks that her heart will still a find way to keep beating, as long as she knows that Paige is happy.

***

The almost two thousand dollar last-minute flight back to San Francisco passes by in a blur. Azzi feels like she’s sleep-walking as she gets into the uber, pressing play on a voice message Ice had left her from after she’d gotten on the plane.

“Azzi please text or call me as soon as you land. I’m really worried about you dude. I’m so fucking sorry. I had no idea. I texted Adam after -he’s a team manager that’s really close with Paige- and I guess she and Olivia have been dating since the end of the season last year but Paige is keeping it highkey on the DL like the team barely knows and I swear Az- I didn’t know. Fuck please don’t do anything stupid Azzi. Text me as soon as you hear this and then just- just go home and sleep and call me tomorrow morning. I love you Az, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Since the end of the season, Azzi thinks slowly, her brain still a fuddled mess. That meant that Paige had been with someone for almost eight months. And Azzi knows she has no right to feel this hurt, let alone feel that tiny spark of betrayal that’s lingering underneath it. She’s the one that had let go; it’s only natural that Paige would eventually find someone else to hold on to.

“Where to Miss?” the uber driver asks as Azzi’s typing out a short ‘landed’ text to Ice.

It’s almost two in the morning and sleep prickles against Azzi’s eyes, her body feeling barely functional but the urge to just forget is stronger than the wave of tiredness washing over her body. And so she ignores every good instinct she has and instead of giving the cab drive her home address, Azzi tells him to drive to the nearest bar instead.

It’s a heat-of-the-moment decision -taken as sordid images of Paige wrapped around another woman cloud her ability to think- and she doesn’t know it’s about to change the trajectory of her whole life.

***

May 2033

The silence in the living room is deafening as Paige and Azzi find themselves sitting on opposite sides of the sofa. Azzi’s fingers tap against her thighs; resisting the impulse to reach over and touch the other girl, comfort her and be comforted in return. This night has felt like one of the longest in her life, all the hits falling like dominoes with the two of them at the end of the line. And perhaps it’s the way she’s starting to feel the bruises now as she absorbs everything that’s happened tonight that has her thinking fuck it and turning to Paige with a pleading look on her face.

“Can you just-” Azzi hesitates as she scooches just slightly closer to the other woman who regards the movement with wide eyes, “I know- I know we have to talk and we will but I just- it’s been a long night and I’m just so fucking tired and I just- I miss you-” she says and she’s not sure how it’s possible when Paige has been here the whole night but it’s the truth, “and I just- can you just hold me? Please?”

Paige is so still that for a moment Azzi thinks maybe she’s asked for too much but then the older woman is moving -so fast like she’s scared the brunette will change her mind- and Azzi feels herself being lifted sideways onto Paige’s lap. The blonde’s grip is iron tight as Azzi buries her head into the crevice of her neck, breathing in the smell of all things Paige. She reaches her hand out gently, placing it against the older woman’s chest, trying to stabilize the two of them to the steady beat of Paige’s heart as the other woman rubs her hand up and down Azzi’s back. They stay like that for god knows how long and Azzi wishes she could just keep them like this forever, in each other’s arms.

But they need to talk.

And Azzi reluctantly untangles herself Paige, closing her eyes when the blonde lets out a soft whimper. She doesn’t move all the way to the other end of the sofa this time; choosing instead to sit right next to Paige with their legs pressed togethers and it’s not nearly enough -too little when all she wants is to be consumed by Paige- but at least it’s something.

“I was going to tell you tonight,” Paige starts slowly, “you remember in the car when I said I would explain the whole Angie thing to you, well that- that’s part of this whole mess.”

Azzi furrows her eyebrows, “Angie? What does- what does she have to do with this?”

“I’ll get there okay- just- just let me start from the beginning,” Paige says nervously, “just listen okay.”

Biting her lip, Azzi nods, signaling for the older woman to continue.

“I didn’t want to come to GSV-”

“Because of me?”

Paige sighs, “yes. It- it just- it felt like such a bad idea at the time. You broke my heart Az,” she shoots Azzi an apologetic look when she flinches at the bluntness of it, “and coming here- being around you- I was scared it was gonna be a reminder of that all the time. Every time I’ve seen you these last couple of years Az- it’s hurt. And I just didn’t- I couldn’t live with that every day.”

It’s not something Azzi wants to here but she understands it; she’d felt the exact same way when Colleen had first told her about GSV being interested in Paige.

“But more than anything,” Paige continues, “I was scared that coming here meant giving you a chance to do it again. Because the two of us being together for more than just a fleeting moment- well it felt inevitable that something would happen and I was just so scared that it would be something bad. And so I fought Talia every step of the way until she forced me to come here and I met Stephie,” a soft smile flitters across the blonde’s face, “and she just- she said I’d look good in purple.”

Azzi laughs, “and that’s all it took huh?”

“You know me. A little bit of flattery will get you everywhere,” Paige grins, “but it wasn’t just her,” she nudges Azzi, “it was you. I was so sure you were gonna tell me to turn it down, tell me that there was no way this was gonna work. But you didn’t. You’re always surprising me I guess. Baby you said you wanted me on your team and that was it for me. No matter how much I said I needed time to think or whatever, as soon as you asked me to come here, I knew I was a Valkyrie.”

“I lied to Colleen that it was for the team,” Azzi admits, “think I even lied to myself about it that I wanted you here to help us win a championship. And yeah maybe that was a little bit of it but I just-” she looks down shyly at her lap, “I just wanted you. Here. With me.”

They’re quiet for a little bit, letting their confession dangle in the air until Azzi breaks it, her mind back to focusing on the revelation from before, “I don’t get it then Paige- what was Drew talking about then? What is this whole plan thing with the Liberty? Being in New York by October? I know your contract is for a year but I just-” she shrugs, “I just assumed you were gonna renew with us so where- where does New York even come into play in all of this? I’m just- I’m just so confused.”

Paige chews at her bottom lip and fidgets with her fingers, two tell-tale signs of her nerves as she keep her gaze firmly away from meeting Azzi’s, “I guess- I guess all my fighting against GSV got through to Talia and after I’d made up my mind to sign with the Valkyries, she- she figured out a verbal deal with the Liberty. They didn’t- they didn’t have the money for me this year but next year with Sabrina retiring- next year they will and GSV knew they were gonna get Angie to be their point guard of the future and it all just- it all made sense. I’d stay here for a year, mentor Angie so she could be my replacement for next year and then I’d-”

“Then you’d leave,” Azzi says bitterly and this time it’s Paige who flinches, “but you said- you said Stephie and I convinced you to come here- so- so what? We only convinced you to come for a year?” she asks, her tone sharper than she intended it to be.

“No it wasn’t- it wasn’t like that,” Paige tries to justify, “I just- it scared me how easy it was for me to be convinced. It was one moment with Stephie- one moment with you- and I was ready to make a decision for my future based just off of those two little moments. Do you know how scary that is? And I knew- I knew that coming here- being around the two of you would just- it would make me fall so fucking fast -and it has- and I was just so scared that I’d get my heart broken again and I just- I needed an escape plan.”

“You needed an excuse to leave us,” Azzi says venomously.

“That’s not fair Azzi,” Paige says quietly, “you have to understand how afraid I was of history repeat itself Az,” she reaches for the younger woman’s hand, enveloping it between her own, “when I lost you the first time, I was so fucking broken and it took me so long to fix myself- I- I don’t even know if I did ever fully fix me. You can’t blame me for being scared of having to go through it again.”

Azzi’s quiet for a second before she finally lets out a sigh because Paige is right and she can’t- she won’t hold whatever decision the other woman had made before they’d found their way back to each other, against her.

“Okay. Okay. I- I get it. I get why you were scared. I get why you had a whole backup plan and-,” she grins teasingly at the blonde, “and now I also get why you were such a bitch to Angie.”

Paige laughs a little, pressing her forehead against Azzi’s and closing her eyes, letting themselves melt into a comfortable silence as they bask in each other’s presence and for a moment’s Azzi feels floaty and free until Drew’s words replay themselves inside her head.

“Paige,” she says slowly, earning a little hum of acknowledgement from the other woman, “it’s over now though right? The deal- you- you’re gonna tell the Liberty that it’s off? No more New York right? Not even as an escape plan?”

The blonde stiffens, her eyes opening immediately.

“Paige,” Azzi presses, lifting her forehead so she can study the older woman’s face properly, the false comfort of a few seconds ago being replaced by a leaden pit in her stomach.

“I- I don’t know,” Paige whispers, so quietly that it takes a couple of seconds for Azzi’s ears to even pick it up. But when it does finally register -the repeat of what she’d said to Stephie- it feels like something’s slowly cracking inside Azzi, until the cracks get larger and larger and something shatters, the pieces of it lodging themselves in every organ of her body.

“You don’t-” Azzi swallows, pulling her hands out Paige’s, “you don’t know?”

“Az-”

“No,” Azzi holds her hand out in a stop sign as Paige tries to grab for her, “how- how can you not know,” she keeps speaking even when the blonde tries to reply, “Paige you- you were the one who pushed for this. You were the one who begged- who convinced me to try. Why- why would you do that? What have we been doing for the last few weeks Paige if you’re still thinking about leaving at the end of the season? God Paige- how can you even say that you don’t know?”

“I thought I did,” Paige bumbles out, “these past few weeks have been everything to me Azzi and I thought I knew but tonight- everything Drew said-” she stops suddenly and Azzi knows whatever the young man had said isn't something Paige wants to repeat back to her.

“What did Drew say?”

Paige hesitates, “he thinks you’re gonna break my heart and that I’ll lose you and that I’ll-” she clutches her throat like the next words are physically painful to say, “that I’ll lose Stephie.”

“And you- you think he’s right?”

There’s heartbreak etched all over Paige’s face as she shrugs helplessly, “you’ve done it before Az. You let me go. You- you said no-”

“And you’re one who left,” Azzi bursts out, tears cascading down her face as she rises to her feet.

Paige guffaws up at her, “what?”

“I know I said no but you left literally the next fucking day before I could say anything else. God Paige, I know I fucked up and I know that it’s mainly my fault. Trust me I’ve regretted it every single day,” Azzi sobs, “but you- you left Paige. I know I let you go but you didn’t hold on to me either. You just- you left.”

“Azzi-”

“I understand why you had an escape plan before,” Azzi says, wiping away her tears, “but I can’t be with you if you still have one now. Especially not when Stephie’s involved. She’s already so fucking attached and if you can’t promise not to leave her then I- I can’t let her get anymore attached. I can’t watch my baby girl cry like she did tonight- not again Paige.”

“Azzi,” Paige says again, like it's the only word she knows; the only word that matters.

Azzi falls to her knees in front of the other woman, wrapping her hands around Paige’s tightly wounded fists.

“I get that you’re scared and I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel like heartbreak is inevitable with me,” she presses a kiss against the blonde’s knuckles, “but Paige I- I can’t- live like this, I can’t live knowing that you could leave me -leave us- any second. I need you to trust me, I need you to believe in us and I need you to tell me you’ll stay. And if you can’t do that then-”

“Please don’t say it,” Paige breathes out, her shoulders radiating with tension.

Azzi stands back up slowly, delicately placing her lips against the older woman’s forehead. She feels Paige shudder under her touch as she tries to put every little bit of emotion, every little bit of please choose me, please choose us, please choose to stay, into that kiss.

“Just- just think about it- sleep on it I guess. Take your time Paige but I- I need more than ‘I don’t know’ as an answer,” she says finally, the words lingering between them as she brushes away a couple of strands of the blonde’s hair before letting out a sigh as she puts some space between them, “I should go.”

Paige’s fingers immediately wrap around her wrist as the other woman blinks up at Azzi with pleading eyes, “don’t go-”

“Paige-”

“It’s late. Stephie’s asleep. Just- just stay.”

You stay, Azzi wants to scream because how can Paige ask her to do the one thing that the older woman herself is scared to do. But she’s exhausted and driving home -to a house that’s entrenched with the memories of the last few weeks but wouldn’t have Paige in it- sounds like something dreadful. And so she nods, shooting Paige another longing look before she heads towards the staircase.

“Az,” she hears the other woman call out just as she’s about to climb onto the first step, making her stop and turn her head over her shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“You know right? You know that- that I-” Paige gulps, “you know that I lo-”

“No,” Azzi says immediately, shaking her head rapidly, “say it to me when you can tell me you’ll stay.”

***

May 2027

Azzi taps her foot incessantly against the hardwood floor as her gaze nervously flitters towards the front of the restaurant, where a man in a light blue polo shirt and dark jeans has just walked in, his own eyes scanning the premises in search of someone. She has the ridiculous urge to shrink in her seat, to hide away from his wandering eyesight as if he’s not the reason she’s here in the first place. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten Mississippis, Azzi finally raises her hand, trying to wave him over.

“Tristan,” she calls out, attempting to arrange her features into a smile to match his when the man in question finally spots her.

“Hey,” Tristan choruses, his eyes twinkling as he slips into the seat opposite Azzi, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda shocked you called. Not that I’m not happy- I mean, who wouldn’t be happy if a pretty girl called but I- I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Azzi tries to give him a humorous grin, “so you just gave me your number expecting nothing?”

She’s trying to make a joke but it comes out flat and she hopes he can’t read just how uncomfortable she is; won’t call her out for the uneasiness that she knows is radiating off of her.

“Expecting? No. Hoping? Definitely,” Tristan smirks and Azzi’s reminded of the charm he’d exuded that night in the bar.

The memory makes her want to throw up- well she supposes it’s probably not just the memory but also her little situation. She regards the man in front of her warily; he’s not bad to look at and at first glance he doesn’t exude any major red flags. And she’s almost ready to give her way-too-fucking-drunk past self a pat on the back because she'd made multiple dumb-as-fuck decisions that night -exhibit a: fucking a random stranger in a bar while mourning her ex- but at least she’d had the sense not to choose a complete psychopath.

“Well I called,” she announces awkwardly.

Tristan raises an eyebrow, “it’s been a whole month.”

Azzi bites her lip, “better late than never?”

The man in front of her snorts, “I suppose so but honestly I wasn’t expecting you to call at all. I mean- I figured you’d have gotten back together with your ex.”

That causes Azzi to suck in a sharp breath, her fingers digging crescent shaped scars into her palms.

“I mean,” Tristan continues, oblivious to the way his words cut into the woman in front of him, “you just- you sounded like you really loved her and the way you talked about your relationship- it just- it sounded so perfect and I know I don’t know her and I know- I know you mentioned she was seeing someone else but you just- your relationship like- that shit sounded unbeatable and so I just- I guess I just assumed that if you wanted her back- she’d want you back-”

“She’s engaged,” Azzi says loudly and it would be comical how quickly that shuts Tristan up if it wasn’t for the fact that saying those words out loud, feels like shooting an arrow into her own heart. She can still see the engagement announcement floating behind her eyes; can still so clearly see the pictures of Paige down on one knee for a woman who was beaming down at her, for someone who had said yes.

“Oh,” Tristan’s saved from having to say anything more when the waiter appears with a menu.

“What can I get you guys today?” the waitress asks cheerfully.

“Just the salmon for me please,” Azzi says, still a little lost in her thoughts.

“And for you sir?” the waitress turns to Tristan after jotting down Azzi’s order.

“I will have the chicken with a waldorf salad on the side but with no nuts please; I’m allergic to most nuts,” Tristan responds politely as the waitress nods and starts to walk away but it’s the last part that perks Azzi’s ears up.

“You’re allergic to nuts? Is that like- is that genetic?” she asks.

Tristan seems a little taken back by her curiosity of his allergy but he nods his head yeah and Azzi pencils that little fact into her brain, figuring it would be an important tidbit to share with her doctor.

“So your ex is engaged,” Tristan repeats, looking apologetic when his bluntness makes Azzi flinch but it’s replaced by a smirk as he lounges back in his seat, “so you called me for what? A rebound? I mean look Az, you’re a gorgeous girl but only being called for a rebound might just give a guy a complex.”

She knows he’s trying to be suave -charming even- but instead all it does is give her the ick and Azzi’s reminded of why she’d avoided men since her mistake of a boyfriend back in her senior year of high school. Hell, she’d only dated him because she and Paige had been trying their hands at another attempt of being just friends and the blonde was dating some pretty girl. But he’d been the first and last man she’d ever been with -which wasn’t surprising considering it had taken her and Paige only a year after to finally get together- until that night at the bar.

Azzi barely remembers anything about that night beyond flashes of memories but she remembers the morning after clearly, remembers the regret that had coiled itself around her ribs. She’d practically run out of the hotel room, barely managing to keep the tears at bay in the back of the uber. She hadn’t even made it to her bedroom, breaking down in the middle of her living room floor as everything that had happened the night before -seeing Paige with someone else, being with someone else- hit her like an avalanche. Azzi doesn’t know how long she’d sat in a sobbing mess on the floor but at some point she must have fallen asleep, because her next memory is Colleen towering over her, a look of pure concern on her bestfriend’s face as she shook her awake. And then she was crying again, this time wrapped in the comfort of Colleen’s arm as she let the regret of all her mistakes -from the past and the present- flow down her cheeks.

All she’d wanted after, was to just forget about the night -forget the image of Paige kissing a stranger, forget the image of herself walking up next to a stranger- and for a little while, the world had even granted her that wish. That was until a mandatory pre-season checkup had given her news that would make sure she’d never forget that night.

“Azzi?” Tristan clicks his fingers in front of her face to get her attention, “you still with me?”

Azzi shakes her head, trying to come back to reality instead of staying lost in her mind. Taking a deep breath, she finally puts into words the truth that has become the epicenter of her world.

“I’m pregnant.”

Tristan stares at her with a shell-shocked look on his face, his eyes unblinking and wide as his mouth slowly morphs into a ‘O’ shape, “you’re- you’re pregnant?”

“Yes,” Azzi nods, her tone shifting from nervous into something more businesslike, “and before you ask, yes it’s definitely yours. But you don’t have to feel pressured to be involved beyond whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m more than financially capable of taking care of a child by myself and I’m very lucky to have a great support system in my friends and family so I’m not depending on you for any-”

“You’re keeping it?” Tristan cuts her off, sounding almost disbelieving that, that was the choice she was making.

Azzi stops at his words, tongue darting out to wet her lips. She’d gone back and forth with the decision from the minute she’d found out. Most of the factors in Azzi’s life pointed towards an abortion being the best thing for her. She was an athlete at the beginning of the peak of her career and she was only 25 years old, a young adult who’d just started this journey of life. For all her responsibleness, Azzi was still figuring out how to take care of herself. How could she possibly take care of a baby?

She’d been just about to call Dr. Myers when instead her phone had opened to the instagram app; Paige’s engagement announcement the first thing on her feed.

There’d been a thousand and one emotions that burst through Azzi but she’d fixated specifically one of them; loneliness. It was a ridiculous thing to feel for a girl whose family had moved across the country for her; whose best friend had become her manager and followed her to a brand new state. But Azzi felt it every time she was alone, sometimes even when she was surrounded by hundreds of people. She was so fucking lonely.

And that’s when she’d decided she wanted this baby, a baby she could love and a baby who’d love her back, a baby who would fill this aching whole in her heart. A baby that would be hers.

Azzi would never be lonely again.

“Yes,” she answers Tristan’s question without a hint of hesitation, “I’m keeping the baby.”

“Wow- okay- this is- sorry,” Tristan shakes his head, his previous casual demeanour having changed to something far more rigid, “this is just- it’s a lot to process.”

“I understand,” Azzi says gently, “take your time.”

Tristant stares down at the table for what feels like an eternity and when he looks up, well, Azzi doesn’t really know the man in front of her at all- hasn’t even had the chance to ask him his last name, but she knows what the guilt in his eyes means. She remembers seeing it when she’d met her own biological father, only once, only for an hour and never again but a snapshot of it has been saved to her brain ever since.

“I’m sorry,” he says, standing up from the table, “I can’t do this. I’m not ready to be a father. I can’t have a baby. Fuck me. I’m barely an adult. I can’t take care of a child. I’m sorry, I just- I can’t.”

“I understand,” Azzi replies clinically even though her stomach lurches a little at the rejection, at the realization that her child would grow up with the ever-present question of why didn’t he stay, just like she had.

Azzi hadn’t called Tristan for lunch with the intent of getting anything out of it. The plan had simply been to do her due diligence by telling the father of her child that she was pregnant. After that, the decision would be in his hands and she’d made peace with the fact this -what had just happened- could be one of the outcomes. She hadn’t come here under the guise of reconnecting, finding a husband or any of that, not when, even thinking of any of that -despite the fact that Paige is engaged to someone else- feels a little bit like cheating. But Tristan's response still stings.

Because he might not have been her first option to raise a child with-really she’d only ever wanted any of that with one person- but Azzi thinks if he’d wanted to try, she would’ve liked having a partner to watch her child grow up with

“I’m sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry,” Tristan repeats again as he starts to back away, “I wish you-” his eyes flicker down to her stomach, “I wish both of you the best.”

Azzi nods, “thank you,” and the words of gratitude are for a little more than just his best wishes.

Tristan pauses for one second, hesitating as he looks at Azzi's belly one more time with an indecipherable emotion in his eyes, something a little like regret. But it’s not enough to make him stay and Azzi watches, with a hand on her stomach, as he turns walks out of the restaurant. Through the window, she watches him walking down the street, getting smaller and smaller until he rounds the curb, disappearing out of sight. And Azzi lets out a breath she hadn’t even known she was holding.

“Oh,” her head snaps towards the waitress, who’s carrying two plates of food and looking awkwardly at Tristan’s abandoned seat, “your uh- your friend- where is he?”

“He’s gone,” Azzi says quietly.

“Is he coming back?”

“No,” Azzi shakes her head, “no, I don’t think he is.”

***

May 2033

The memory burns against the back of Azzi’s eyelids as she lies, wide awake, in Paige’s guest room with Stephie tightly snuggled against her chest. She’s not sure what exactly had triggered the memory because honestly, she doesn’t think about Stephie’s father -her sperm donor to be more accurate- that often. He’d existed for a mere second in the clock of her life, disappearing almost as fast as he’d appeared. But there’s a part of Azzi that will always be thankful to him, because he’s part of the reason she has this beautiful little girl who’s sleeping in her arms.

A little girl who she loves and who loves her back, a little girl who’d filled the aching hole in her heart. A little girl, that was hers.

And Azzi hasn’t been lonely ever since she’d been handed her little girl.

Until tonight.

Her eyes drift to the other side of the bed and she can’t help but focus on just how empty it looks, can help but be immersed in the feeling of something’s missing. It’s the first night in weeks that the other side of the bed isn’t filled and everything about it feels so fucking wrong. Azzi sighs, resting her cheek on Stephie’s head as she rubs her hand up and down the little girl’s shoulder. She can’t sleep and she knows -by the little telltale frown on her daughter’s face- that the little girl might be asleep, but it’s the kind that’s deeply troubled.

She’s just about to close her eyes for another unsuccessful attempt at letting her exhaustion lull her into a slumber, when she hears the sound of footsteps right outside her door. Azzi rises up slowly, gently disentangling herself from Stephie as she squints through the little gap between the door and the floor. It doesn’t take a genius to know who it is and Azzi’s heart thumps anticipation as she watches the shadow of feet pacing back and forth. Suddenly they disappear and disappointment -even it’s ridiculous to feel it after the events of the night- courses through Azzi. Sighing to herself again, she lays back down, closing her eyes.

A minute later they shoot open at the sound of the door being pushed and Azzi sits back up again, something like relief -something like i’m so glad you’re here, i'm so glad you came back please don’t ever go again- rushing into her veins. It takes a second for her eyes to adjust to the sight of the figure in the dark but once they do, Paige is practically illuminated by the moonlight streaking through the windows. The blonde looks at her, not a speckle of shock at the fact that she’s awake because Paige knows her, knows her the way Azzi had known Paige was awake too, knows that they’d never been particularly good at falling asleep after an argument.

“Can’t sleep,” Paige admits out loud in a whisper, nervously shuffling her feet by the doorway.

“Me neither,” Azzi confesses, her hands brushing through Stephie’s hair.

Their revelations -and the i can’t sleep because i can’t sleep without you hidden behind them- hang in the air, waiting for the two of them to say anything else as they stare at each other in the dark room.

Paige speaks first, stumbling towards the bed, “can I just-”

“Yes,” Azzi breathes out before the question’s even finished, “please.”

Despite the urgency in their words, Paige is slow, climbing into bed, like she’s waiting for Azzi to take it back. The blonde slips underneath the covers, her hands immediately moving to rub Stephie’s back where they collide against Azzi’s fingers and that lightest bit of contact elicits a breathy gasp from both of them. There’s so much still left to say, so much still left to fix, so much they’re not sure can be fixed, but as Azzi slowly lies back down, her fingers interlocking with Paige’s over Stephie’s tiny body, she thinks that she might not survive, if these fleeting moments don’t lead to forever.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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