#only 2 slots for now!! might open more depending on how i feel

[metalst]

reopening commissions bc im still unable to work for another month, check out my Ko-fi if you're interested!!!

if youre not familiar with my work, examples under the cut!

feel free to reach out with questions or anythang too!

(characters from left-> right, top -> bottom;

Flashman from Megaman

@/suncklet 's character Clawfoot

@/raggedy--anns character Ethel

Woodman and Toadman from Megaman

@/doctormeesh 's character Dmitri

@/tworedplants ' character Fruitpop)

[noonartist]

COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!

hey there! i'm opening emergency commissions, as i really need money for my rent, education and basic needs, and i don't have an income right now. if you're not interested in ordering, kindly reblog this, it helps a lot. you can also send me a tip via hipolink or boosty. thank you!

✦ SLOTS ARE LIMITED 8 out of 8 open at the moment

to order, please contact me via private messages here!

✦ my nsfw blog ✦ my bsky ✦ my hipolink ✦ my boosty

↓ more info under the cut ↓

so, what can you get?

prices listed below are for a single character without a background ✦ SKETCH (color can be added for extra $5) portrait - $10 halfbody - $15 fullbody - $20

✦ LINE ART portrait - $20 halfbody - $25 fullbody - $30

✦ FLAT COLOR portrait - $35 halfbody - $45 fullbody - $60

✦ FULL RENDER portrait - $50 halfbody - $65 fullbody - $85

✦ NSFW $25 extra

✦ EXTRA CHARACTER + 90% of the price

✦ VERY COMPLEX CHARACTERS i might charge extra

✦ BACKGROUND the background in the twilight sparkle pic you can see above will cost about $10 extra. more complex backgrounds can be discussed a simple background (example: a simple color, a gradient, a circle behind the character, etc.) is free

✦ ADJUSTMENTS more than 3 corrections (throughout the whole process): will be charged extra $5 per correction

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✦ WHAT I NEED FROM YOU a detailed description of what you want. got any kind of visual references or a sketch of an idea that you have in mind? that's even better!

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✦ WILL DO fanarts, ocs. humans, furries, robots, children, animals. can do real people (only sfw), can also illustrate something. comics/sequences are to be discussed

✦ WON'T DO heavy gore, eroguro, pedo stuff, hardcore kinks, mecha, cars, hateful imagery, politics (i might decline an idea not included in this list)

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✦ PAYMENT (in USD, payed upfront) via hipolink (accepts paypal) via boosty (accepts credit cards) please note that i can't do refunds

✦ DEADLINE about 2-3 weeks, depending on how complex the order is and how busy i am

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if you have any questions, feel free to message me :) let me know what you have in mind and we'll try to make it work!

if you're not interested in ordering a commission, kindly share the post!

thank you so much! 💖

[discommunicator]

!! ART COMMISSION !!

What is art commission? You pay me to make me draw things you want to see, as simple as that, but this is my commission so heed that there are rules/limitations of my own!

If you're seeing this post via reblog, please check the post date and look for the original post, not the reblogs, because commission status and the terms might've been changed/updated by the time you're reading it. I might reblog this myself whenever I open the commission.

Current commission status: CLOSED(taking a break)

SLOTS: [ ] [ ]

Detailed wall of texts guide goes down here, if you're going to apply please read them first so you're aware of what you can expect from me. ↓

I'll ONLY DRAW

Humanoid non-humans

It means anything that somehow shares silhouette of human(e.g. overall disposition of head and limbs), is obviously a person, but is not a human in an apparent way. Be it a goblin, imp, kobold, demon, furry people, inkling, android, whatevs. Go look what I've been drawing to these days, I bet you know what I'm talking about. You can bring them from your original character pool, or from a cartoon, or some games, etc.

Note that what I'm taking now is NOT 'design things from scratch' commission. I require clear references.

Along with those above, I'm capable of drawing some basic elemental visual effects like flames([1][2]), waters([1]), lightnings([1][2][3]), dust clouds([1][2][3]) and earth cracks([1][2]). Just tell me if you particularly want to include those in your commission piece.

I WON'T/CAN'T DRAW

Crossover - I won't put your OCs and other existing media characters together in a same piece. It also applies for different characters from different media.

Webtoon~Comics format

Most sky-scraping tall robotics - Transformers, GUNDAM or in that line of genre.

Background/Landscape details

Excessively complex objects

Realistic modern firearms

Sexual theme, either explicit or subtle

Nudity? - That depends like, Pokémons such as Tinkaton are humanoid and technically naked but look not so naked. Otherwise, unlikely.

Fetishes of all kind

Characters with astronomically huge tits - No offense, I just have no idea how to handle them properly.

Bloody gore element - Though mild body horrors are feasible in some degree. See my OC [Hess] for example. It's neither cuts nor bloodshed.

Independent original characters that belong to somebody other than you - Don't ask for third person's OC, unless you two are friends and there is approval. I'll double-check.

Whatever that makes me feel uncomfortable - Due to strict copyright? Personal preference? It might be anything that I didn't list here. If I don't feeling it, that's it.

THE PROCESS

Contact acenth.1012@gmail.com, then:

Let me know that you're asking for a commission.

Tell me whether it's about drawing your OC(Original Character. I need you to show me proper reference images. Either via email attachment or via image hosting sites.) or characters from existing media(you know, cartoons and games)

If I don't accept, I'll inform you that I'm not interested.

Otherwise, I'll respond and ask you "how do you want it to be". This is about direction of the piece, which refers to how the character will be presented, like the pose, action, facial expression and more. If you show me the exact references (like pictures searched up on Google) that's better. If you're only gonna suggest me a character and want to leave the rest up to me, you can tell me so. I can still reject your commission at this stage If I'm not really into your direction.

If I fully accept I'll send you a transaction link where you can pay directly from your PayPal balance. While you're at it please put a comment regarding your email under the sum section so I can identify your payment. As soon as I check the payment I'll start drawing, and send you the finished piece via email when it's done.

If there are obvious and critical errors I made like missing tail, flipped hand or such, I will fix them of course, but don't expect too much about further adjustment on demand. Even though the final version turns out not so satisfying to you, I can't really help about it. After verifying the delivery the transaction completes.

+ If you're about to upload the final piece which is larger than 850x850 to website like twitter please tell me that so I will send you an indexed color mode version along with the original. Indexed image loses some color palettes but prevent twitter's horrible png resizing.

PRICING

Baseline is $80 per piece.

Includes 1 character, full color and shading by default.

Different characters in a single piece adds up $40 each, up to 2 more extra characters.

If an extra character is extremely simple or small compare to others I might just consider them as an appendage rather than an extra character. e.g. Big the Cat and Froggy (Sonic the Hedgehog series), Harmony/Annie and their clownfish (Splatoon series)

I prioritize drawing full-body. It can be thigh-up or even waist-up depending on your demand (or at my discretion if you didn't give me any direction) but this does not affect the price.

You can ask for multiple same characters in a single piece, but in that case it most likely be one simpler full-body and several waist-ups. This does not affect the price.

Background is flat white by default. I can fill them with different flat colors or put simple figures or put gradients, or make it transparent as you ask. Pitch black background + outline around the character is also doable(check some of the deltarune fan arts I did). This does not affect the price.

Adding some elemental visual effects does not affect the price.

ESTIMATED ARRIVAL TIME AND REFUNDS

I doubt the discussing part alone can be somewhat dragged on due to the time zone/schedule difference, but I also believe the whole thing can be done under two weeks, or more depending on the conditions and real life issues.

Basically 'no refund' once I receive your payment and start drawing the piece, however, I'd willingly refund you if I can't finish the piece in time due to my own personal reason.

REGARDING THE USAGE OF FINAL PRODUCT:

Commercial use of my commissioned artworks is prohibited.

Do not relate my drawings with cryptocurrency activities.

Final products may be used as a sample in my future commission introduction page.

It's okay to post them online, use them as a header, banner, profile or such for your blogs/social media page, as long as it's non-profit use.

I can post them on my own blog/social media if I'd like to.

BEFORE YOU APPLY:

You need PayPal account for the trade. I'm not accepting any other method as of now. Also please pay with USD if possible!

Please take a gander at fanart, original stuff and other's oc on my blog so you get what my art style is like and how I reinterpret existing characters. Applying for my commission also means that you're agreeing to the visual changes I make in the process.

My drawings are .png files and NOT resize-friendly due to use of binary pen! And the final size of a piece will barely exceed 1000x1000 so keep that in mind if you use super wide screen or if you're about to do something with my finished works.

제가 한국 계좌 쓰는 한국 사람인 관계로 한국인이시면 페이팔을 통한 거래가 불가능합니다

If you got further questions that's not answered here(other than bargaining the price), feel free to ask them via my email. acenth.1012@gmail.com

[krat395]

Requests Closed!!! (READ DESCRIPTION)

***REQUESTS ARE NOW CLOSED! Thank you to all who made requests. :) And know that no matter how long it takes me, I will finish each and every one of them. ;)***

================================================

It's that time again, folks! After 3 years, requests are finally open again! Yay! :D And for this next group of requests, I am planning to fill 25 slots. 20 of these slots are for users that I haven't done requests for before while the other 5 are for users that I have done requests for before. I might add some additional slots later along the line but for now, I am planning on 25 slots. And once again, requests are FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE!

Information and general rules:

To make a request, either comment on this post or send me a private message. It makes no difference to me. 

I am only accepting one request per user. You may request multiple ideas but just be aware that only one will be accepted. So please request the idea that you want to see the most. Or, if you don't have a preference, tell me every idea you have and I can choose for you. I realize that this might be disappointing to those that wanted me to do more than one request for them but based on how long it took me to complete the last group of requests, I feel that this approach will be the most beneficial for me.

The four websites I post stories on are DeviantArt, Tumblr, Wattpad, and Furaffinity. You may contact me on any of these four sites. Or Discord. I also have Discord. And Twitter as well… if you're into that. Lol XD I'm not into it personally, as you're probably aware. In fact, the only reason I even have Twitter is because of Toby Fox himself. It's the only site where he posts updates regarding his work. So in other words, don't contact me on Twitter unless you have no active accounts on any of the aforementioned sites. 

DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/nman1983 

Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/krat395 

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/nman1983 

FurAffinity: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/krat395 

Discord: nman1983#4971

Twitter: https://twitter.com/nman1983?t=MZczL9KyEEEwvNJyUrj8Ng&s=09 

Requests will vary in length depending on the material I have to work with but none of them will ever exceed 7500 words nor will they ever consist of more than one upload. Short story length and single uploads, just like before.

And last but not least, be patient and respectful! Due to my busy work life and personal life and the time it will take me to work on other stories I'd like to do (stories in the Main Series and Side Series and also Deltarune Stories), there is no telling how long it will take me to finish every single request. So please be patient. Not that this has been an issue before or anything but I still thought that it was necessary to address.

And now for the request rules…

UNDERTALE AND/OR DELTARUNE REQUESTS ONLY, please! If you request something that isn't related to Undertale and/or Deltarune in any way, it will not be accepted! And if you're wanting to make a Deltarune request, please view this list I made before doing so (link below). It is a list of ideas I have for future Deltarune stories and I made this list for you to refer to so there won't be any conflicts when coming up with ideas for Deltarune stories. And since I myself haven't written very many Deltarune stories, I am giving you a choice. You can either 1. come up with your own idea for a Deltarune story OR 2. suggest one of the ideas I have in mind for future Deltarune stories. But as far as Undertale stories go, you are free to request anything you'd like, so long as you adhere to all of the following rules listed below…

Link to list:

Everyone with the exception of Gaster is fair game for tickles in requested stories. Sorry to those who might be wanting Gaster to appear as a ticklee in requested stories but since we have yet to find out if Gaster is actually ticklish or not in the Main Series, I want to hold off on having him appear as a ticklee in requested stories. 

NO NSFW REQUESTS! If you're familiar with my work, then I think it goes without saying that I don't like creating NSFW/lewd content. However, there are certain things that I myself don't consider to be strictly NSFW that others might consider to be strictly NSFW. Here is a list of some of those things:

Stocks. I am ok with stocks just as long as the ticklee isn't naked or stripped down to their underwear while they're in them… or gagged while they're in them. 

Tickling utensils such as hairbrushes, scrub brushes, electric toothbrushes, pens, forks, and back scratchers. I don't see the harm in using these types of utensils to tickle someone. But how long a character is tickled by one of these types of utensils will depend on the age of the character though.

Bondage. I am ok with bondage as long as it isn't too extreme. Friendly bondage, usually with the ticklee's consent, and just enough to limit the ticklee's movement. And just like with the stocks, no gagging the ticklee or stripping them naked or down to their underwear!

Blindfolds. I don't mind blindfolds but how they're utilized in the stories will all depend on the characters involved in a given scenario. For example, I would not be ok with an adult putting a blindfold on a minor.

Lotion/oil on feet. Lotion/oil is fine in my book. I'm all for making ticklish feet even more ticklish. Hehe. ;) But primarily on adults. As for minors, it'll depend on the situation. So if you're wanting to use lotion/oil on minors, you need to run it by me first. Inform me of the situation you have in mind when making your request.

You are allowed to change the genders of certain canon characters in your request. The canon characters that don't have confirmed genders in either of the games to be exact. That includes Frisk, Chara, Monster Kid, Napstablook, Kris, and Seam (the "non-binary" characters). So for example, characters that are females in my stories (Frisk, Chara, and Kris) can be changed to male characters and characters that are males in my stories (Monster Kid and Napstablook) can be changed to female characters. But whatever you do, do not change the genders of any characters that have confirmed genders. 

You are allowed to include your own OCs and/or a fictionalized version of yourself in your request as long as they and/or you interact with at least one canon Undertale character, at least one canon Deltarune character, or at least one of my Undertale OCs.

Characters do not have to be the same ages that they are in my headcanon. If you'd like certain characters to be younger or older than the ages they are in my headcanon, please let me know. You're free to alter characters' ages however you please in order to adhere to your own personal headcanon.

As far as character ships go, there are some non-canon ships I'll allow. Just be sure to run it by me before telling me what you have in mind for a request. But I'll tell you right now that I will not allow Fontcest (or any type of incest for that matter), Frans, Papyton, or Soriel. And just to be clear, when I say that I'm not allowing the aforementioned ships, that doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to pair any of those characters together at all in your request. For example, if you want to pair Sans and Toriel together, you can do that just as long as they are nothing more than friends. 

After making your request:

Allow me enough time to review your request and if I decide that it's something I'd like to write, I will add it to my list. And from that point forward, it won't be removed from said list unless you give me a reason to remove it. Below are some reasons why a request could get removed:

Blocking me. If you block me, that likely means that I've done something that offended you and you therefore don't want anything to do with me anymore because of it. And for that reason, your request would be removed from my list. Makes sense, right? If you don't want anything to do with me anymore, then what's the point in keeping my word to do something thoughtful for you?

Personally asking me to remove your request from my list. If you're having second thoughts about the request you made and no longer want me to write it, then send me a message asking me to remove it from my list and I will do so at my earliest convenience. 

Neglecting to stay in contact with me if you deactivate your account or if your account gets deactivated on the site you made your request on. For example, let's say that you have a DeviantArt account and if for some reason you deactivate your DeviantArt account or get banned from DeviantArt sometime after making your request and you still want me to do said request after deactivating or getting banned, then you better contact me asap on another website! I am not doing requests for users that I can't send messages to at any given time!

Constantly pestering me about your request. As I've mentioned before, this has never been an issue for me but it's still necessary to address. Writing stories takes time and pestering me about your request isn't going to make my work on it get done any faster. And if you're rude while pestering me, then you can definitely guarantee that your request will be removed from my list. I will not tolerate rude behavior. But if you just ask me a bunch of questions without intending to come across as rude, I’ll let you off with a few warnings. Just don’t get too carried away with questions about your request’s progress, alright? 

And there you have it, folks. And now that the countdown is officially over, you are free to tell me your ideas whenever you please. I look forward to hearing them all very, very much. :D And if you have any questions about anything, anything at all, like if you feel that there's something I didn't cover all that well or at all, please don't hesitate to ask. ;)

[riveluart]

Do you have money to spend, like my style, and want the power to tell me to draw whatever you want? (Within reason)

I have good news for you, I’m opening Ko-Fi Commissions!!!

I’ve never done commissions like this before so I’m kind of limiting it  2 characters max per commission and only adding 1 pokemon for now

(eventually I want to have pokemon commission options to have a whole team but for now just one)

Depending on how well this goes I might open them again soon with more slots open

Fan art is always fair game and feel free to request pride flag backgrounds!!

[woolmasterleel]

Hi commissions are open again!

Just some busts for now though! Doing a little sale too... only two slots! I'll update this whenever a slot is taken ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

Here are the prices + examples!

Payment is through P*ypal and Ko/fi! Here is a link to my Ko/fi if that is your preferred method of payment!

Please read the TOS before commissioning me, it's under the cut!

Please note that all prices are in CAD!

If you can't commission me, please consider reblogging this! It helps a ton ❤

SLOTS: 2 open

Dos and Don’ts:

Dos:

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*If I don’t feel comfortable drawing a particular ship, I have the right to decline. If you’re unsure, feel free to ask!

Don’ts:

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T.O.S- PLEASE READ BEFORE COMMISSIONING

Full payment up front.

No refunds after the sketch is completed.

I will show you updates! You can request to see additional wips as well.

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Please don’t send the money until I’ve accepted the commission!

I have the right to decline should I feel the need to.

Personal use is fine (icon, banner- please credit me if you use the art for these!)

Commercial use is not allowed.

Please do not claim the art as your own.

Do not post art to other sites*, regardless if I am on said site or not

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It can take 1 week to over a month to complete a commission, depending on the complexity and how busy I am.

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Please do not constantly ask about the progress of your commission. If something comes up that slows the progress of your commission, I will let you know.

If you have a particular pose/ scenario in mind, please let me know! Even better if you have a reference or can draw it out (doesn’t have to be perfect obviously!)

Art might be used for additional commission examples (if you’re not okay with this, or if the commission is private (ie, not posted) please let me know)

I absolutely will NOT accept the commission if it’s for NFTs, that also means using the commissioned art as one is a massive no.

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HOW TO CONTACT ME

The easiest way to contact me is by emailing woolmasterleelcommissions@gmail.com! If that doesn't work, you can dm me here! Please note that I do check my email more often!

[wheresmybuckyhoes]

Shut up and Kiss him

Summary: You and your boyfriend Steve have been apart for too long and your ready to ‘get it going’ when Bucky happens to get in your way. So instead you decide to...encourage them to ‘play’ together.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: Swearing, suggested smut

Note from yours truly: Hey guys thanks for reading! Feel free to give me suggestions and feedback. Love you x

‘What the fuck’ you groaned, feeling every ounce of oxygen drain from your lungs momentarily as your flung against a wall, falling flat on your back.

 You tried to heave your exaughsted body of the ground, but slumped back down in defeat. You saw a metal hand obstruct your wonderful veiw of the sky through the glass ceiling, attached to a body with an all-too smug grin plastered on his face. You grumbled as you reached out to take his hand, being swiftly pulled back to your feet. ‘I won’ said Bucky as he walked to the side of the training room to grab his shirt, pulling it on in one swift motion. You felt a weird sense of disappointment to see his perfectly sculpted body get covered up. You wondered what he would look like next to your boyfriend’s perfectly sculpted body...no what on earth is going on in your brain. Stop getting distracted.

‘How are you not sweating?!’ you asked, quite literally wide - eyed. He shrugged in your direction and turned around to grab a drink of water from his avengers branded bottle Peter made you all buy. You knew this was your chance. Although you were a highly trained assassin, almost as skilled as Black Widow in hand to hand combat, and much more skilled with using a knife, you could never beat Bucky with only your fists. His super soldier strength and reflexes mixed with his fucking metal arm made it near impossible for you to win against him. But with Bucky’s back turned, this was your chance.

You ran at him with all you had and jumped onto his broad shoulders, trying to slightly cut off his oxygen supply with your legs. But he turned towards the mats, held you by the waist and flung you forward like the gentleman he is, sending you tumbling. But getting riled up now, you grabbed his leg as he tried to walk away again, pulling angrily at his ankle, making him fall on his back. He groaned loudly as he tried to get up but you quickly swung your leg over his chest so you were straddling him, finally pining him down by the arms. The soldier smiled at you from underneath your legs, making you want to punch his perfect teeth. Your faces were inches apart, panting and staring each other in the eyes, almost daring the other to make a move. Bucky knew he could easily have you pinned down underneath him, but he had heard Steve walk in.

‘We’re you 2 fucking while I was gone’ your boyfriend asked proudly as he strolled into the training room. ‘What...no...I would never want to fuck y/n, god no Steve’ (he said that last part with a very over the top tone of disgust). You and Bucky’s eyes met for only a second, but it was enough to make it weird as you made a disgusted face quickly getting of Bucky and holding out a hand to help him up. ‘Yeah Steve what the fuck Bucky is...is... is a gross ehh human’ you replied angrily. Bucky took your hand graciously, almost bringing you down again as he weighed just a bit more than you. You ran over to Steve, jumping into his arms and wrapping your legs around him. ‘Your back!’ you cried, kissing him fondly, pulling back to look at the eyes you had missed so badly. ‘I missed you too’ he laughed, gently placing you down and giving you a kiss on the forehead before going to greet his best friend Bucky.

You watched as your favourite boys tried to greet one another in a dignified way with you watching, but quickly gave up and gave eachother an adorable hug. You left the training room and hopped into the elevator, pressing the button for the 10th floor which you had to yourself. Although Bucky doesn’t sweat a drop, you were drenched from head to toe and were in desperate need of a shower. You hummed happily as the elevator climbed up, opening the doors to a beautiful living room Tony had designed just for you. It also had a small kitchen on the same floor, in addition to your bedroom and master bathroom. It was perfect.

-——————————-(<>)-——————————-

After you got out of the shower, feeling much more revitalated and fresh, you wrapped a fluffy white towel around your chest. Before you could reach for your hairbrush you heard a knock, making you jump slightly. ‘Who is it?’ you questioned vaguely as you brushed your wavy hair that only seemed to be nice when wet. The voice on the other side grumbled. ‘Bucky’ it replied. You opened the door making extra sure you had a hold on the towel so it woudnt slip down. ‘Hey wassup?’ you asked as his newly - showered smell hit you. A scent like a forest after a light sprinkle of rain crept into your nose, making your head spin from just how wonderful he smelt. ‘Just wanted to let you know you did great today. I really see the improvements’ he spoke as his eyes unwillingly trailed over your towel, the only thing separating him and your naked body. You noticed him trail off and waved a hand in his face, laughing as you asked ‘you good buddy?’ He shook his head as he focused again on your beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to change colour depending on the weather. Oh my god Bucky focus for fucks sake. ‘Fine sorry just zoned out... oh yeah your boyfriends looking for you’ he said before turning around and quickly slipping into the elevator, disappearing behind the doors. You stood at the bathroom doorway for a bit, slightly confused. Bucky was acting all weird, unlike his usual cocky self. You had no idea what had gotten into him, as usually he was perfectly collected (winter soldier history and all). You shrugged it off to your overactive imagination and whisked yourself to your closet to get dressed. You pulled on a short plaid skirt and a simple white vest top, pulling on your thigh sheaf because you wore that dam thing under every skirt you had, sliding in a small knife into one of the two slots. As an avenger you sort of had to be prepared at all times, and like Thor always says; ‘There’s always someone waiting to turn into a snake and try to kill you, even your own brother’. I’m not sure how revelant that is to you considering you don’t have a brother and you’d probably kill any snake that got within a 10 mile radius of you but, whatever you say god of hammers. You entered the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.

You stepped out of the elevator onto the floor where you fondly remembered hulk tossing Loki around like a rag doll that one time, pulling up your skirt slightly as you loved to be a hoe for Steve. You liked to hang out up here when you were trying to get some thinking done, often joined by Steve, so you assumed he was waiting for you here. Just as you had thought, as you walked to the balcony you saw Steve standing there waiting for you. You smiled at him as you walked outside into the warm summer air, eyes widening at the trail of lit candles illuminating the night.

‘What’s all this baby?’ you asked as he took your hand like the gentleman he is and kissed it tenderly. ‘I missed you y/n. So, I got you a little something I think you might like to apologise for my absence’ he replied. Oh my how you loved this man. He held out a small box, around the size of your open palm, and placed it nervously in your hand. You tugged on the satin ribbon which held it closed, and pulled of the lid excitedly. Your jaw dropped all the way to the ground. ‘I didn’t know if you’d like it because I know you have an acquired taste but I thought this would be nice and...’ Steve began to explain but you lept into his arms and kissed him hungrily, his hands going immediately to your waist and pulling you in close.

You pulled away to hurriedly take out your new toy. It was a small pocket knife, the hilt made out of a rose coloured crystal, the golden blade engraved with intricate roses. You twirled it around in your fingers expertly before tucking it away in your thigh sheaf, that looked more like a lace garter then something to hold a deadly weapon. You looked up at Steve who looked utterly entranced by your magic fingers, noticing the hard on that was developing quickly in his tight pants. Steve scooped you up smoothly, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, placing one hand on your bum for support and the other on your neck, pulling you in for a deep sultry kiss. He slipped his tongue expertly into your mouth as he carried you back inside into the elevator, pressing the button for your floor without breaking the kiss even for a second.

You were devouring eachother desperately, missing each others touch after spending a long week away from eachother. You had already discarded your top and skirt, with Steve’s shirt flung on the floor in the elevator when the doors opened. ‘Oh my...fuck sorry shit I should have expected this I just needed to ask you...fuck’ you heard a voice shout in alarm from the direction of your couch. Steve let you down quickly in shock and your hand jumped over your mouth in suprise.

Your brain was whirring at 60 miles an hour. You had your beloved boyfriend, half naked behind you, and Bucky was sitting upright on your couch shirtless with his oh so tight training pants. The thoughts you were having early were filling your mind. You bit your lip in deep thought. ‘Y/n?’ Steve asked as he gently lay a hand on your arm, sending electric waves down your spine. Steve noticed the mischievous look in your eye and raised his eyebrow in question. ‘You want Bucky to fuck you? If you want you can I don’t really mind just watching you. It might be kinda hot and-‘ Steve began as you shook your head, hearing a small high pitched ‘what’ escape Bucky’s mouth. ‘Not exactly Stevie’ you replied. You slid over to Bucky, walking over to the couch and pulling him up by his god damn metal arm as Steve trailed behind you. You leaned in to kiss Bucky quickly, gently teasing his lips with your tongue before pulling away to watch his face contort from a confused look to one of lustful intrigue. You then turned to Steve, looking between the two boys and stepping back.

As Bucky and Steve realised what you wanted them to do, Bucky’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ as he looked between the pair of you, pink crawling up his cheeks. ‘Wait y/n...what do you...you want us to...’ he stuttered shyly before Steve stepped right infront of Bucky, cupping his face gently . Steve gave a questioning look towards you as you nodded hurriedly. ‘Just shut up and kiss him’ you smirked, falling back onto the couch to watch the show.

Steve caught Bucky in a gentle, loving kiss, as Bucky’s body melted into Steve. His hands quickly found Steve’s shoulders, as the two insanely attractive men slid their tongues into each other’s mouths. As the kiss became heated, Bucky moaned oh so pornographically when Steve dragged his strong hand over his hard cock. You bit your lip watching the two men, feeling tiny butterflies go wild down below. This was everything you had ever dreamed off.

Just as you had spread your legs comfortably, closing your eyes to begin rubbing your swollen clit with the obscene noises of the boys echoing in your ears, you thought you heard a weird whispering but continued doing your thing. But you felt a hand grab your wrist and your eyes fluttered open in suprise. ‘What are you...’ you asked as Bucky pulled your hand out of your pants and picked you up, swinging you over his shoulder to your delight. ‘Let us take care of that for you’ your boyfriend grinned as he smacked your ass hard, causing you to yelp from the sudden sting. ‘We’re gonna make you feel so good, doll’ Bucky whispered as Steve lead the way to your bedroom. Did he just call you doll? What the fuck is happening. This is going to be a long night.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #156

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making the clown prince of crime himself, the Archer of Shinjuku! Like the Caster of the Timeless Temple, a lot of pseudosingularity servants have their true names hidden. Personally I think it’s a dumb mechanic, but for the interests of keeping up appearances we’ll hide their names in the opening posts as well. That being said, it’s hard to go in-depth on a character and their abilities without revealing their identity, so expect spoilers below the cut.

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Introducing the most problematic design since Literally Every Child Servant!

 James Moriarty is a Mastermind Rogue for perfection in deception, as well as a Divination Wizard because some things you just can’t plan for. But you can take credit after the fact, and you’ll look super smart for doing so!

Race and Background

Despite your reputation, you are a Human, giving you +1 Dexterity and Wisdom. You also get Sleight of Hand proficiency for better burgling, and the Keen Mind feat for +1 Intelligence and a bevvy of brain bonuses that will make your DM’s life harder.

You started your life as a professor, but tbh it’s a lot easier to just grab the Criminal background. It’s also a lot more useful, giving you Deception and Stealth proficiency.

Ability Scores

No surprise here, but your highest score is going to be Intelligence. Your best crimes are basically “I wonder what this would do”, you’re like the mathematics version of a mad scientist. Aside from that, your Charisma is also pretty good, manipulating others is your go-to method of crime. After that is Wisdom, because playing people only works as long as you know you’re not being played. Your Dexterity isn’t amazing, but we can fix that later with magical nonsense. Your Constitution is bad, but your Strength is worse. You’re an old man, andyou definitely feel like one.

Class Levels

1. Rogue 1: First level rogues get a ton of proficiencies, like Dexterity and Intelligence saves, Perception, Insight, Performance, and Persuasion. The first one lets you hunt a bit easier in the dark streets of Shinjuku, while the other three make your manipulations more magnificent. You also get Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency bonus in Deception and Persuasion.

You also learn Thieves’ Cant. It’s a language. More usefully, you can make a Sneak Attack once per turn by using a ranged or finesse weapon on a creature you either have advantage on or you have an ally next to. Right now this adds 1d6 to your attack damage, but it’ll grow as you level up.

As far as your weapon goes, a hand crossbow might be an understatement for your coffin, but you’re nothing if not practical.

2. Wizard 1: Going over to wizard right away gives you Arcane Recovery, letting you regain a little bit of magic over a short rest once per long rest.

To make that more useful, you also get Spells that you can cast and prepare with your Intelligence. Message will carry your schemes to your minion’s ears, Prestidigitation is simple sleight of hand tricks to wow yokels. True Strike actually kind of has a purpose since the advantage matters for your sneak attacks but not really because there’s like eight other ways to get a sneak attack that aren’t as bad. Cause Fear strikes at the heart of foes and allies alike. Mage Armor lets you wear a suit into combat like a nerd. Magic Missile gives you a plethora of magical bullets that can’t miss. Disguise Self gives you a magical disguise kit. Feather Fall lets you catch Guda and land without breaking a hip, and Unseen Servant lets you expand your criminal empire with a lackey of your very own!

3. Rogue 2: Last level was a lot. Let’s calm down a bit with a simple bit of roguery. Cunning Action lets you dash, disengage, or hide as a bonus action, freeing up your main action for attacks or spells.

4. Rogue 3: Third level rogues can pick their specialty, and as a Mastermind yours lies in manipulating others for your own gain. You’re a Master of Intrigue giving you proficiency with disguises and forgery. You can also mimic the accent of a creature you’ve heard for at least one minute, well enough to pass yourself off as a native

You’re also a Master of Tactics, letting you help as a bonus action and with a range of 30 feet.

On top of that, your Steady Aim makes True Strike useless, giving you advantage on one attack as a bonus action, plus you have to use up your movement.

5. Rogue 4: Use this Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Dexterity so you can actually shoot people. Also, while you only get one attack per turn, you can always flavor your sneak attack as a burst of gunfire. You’re certainly going to do enough damage to qualify as multiple shots.

6. Rogue 5: Fifth level rogues get an Uncanny Dodge as a reaction, halving the damage of an incoming attack. You fight berserkers in Armani, you’ll need it.

7. Rogue 6: Your second round of Expertise will double up on your Thieves’ Tools and Performance for extra manipulation and safe cracking.

8. Rogue 7: Evasion is a good skill. I don’t think I say that enough,but it is. It turns your failed dexterity saves into successes and your successes into no-sells. If your big plan is dropping a meteor on the world, you’d better be ready for the splash damage.

9. Wizard 2: Second level wizards get their specialty, and Divination wizards are the masters of planning. And from a player’s standpoint they make planning so much easier. You could meticulously plan your enemy’s downfall over the course of days or weeks, or you could just slap a 1 to their wisdom save with six seconds of preparation thanks to Portents. You get two d20s each day that you can use in place of a d20 roll near you. Ruin someone’s skill check, guarantee your critical hit, whatever.

You also get more magic! Alarm is our go-to for low magic builds, but it’s also super useful for traps You can also Comprehend Languages because you’re pretty well-learned.

10. Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells, like Enhance Ability to make your disguises even more perfect and Magic Weapon to make your Noble Phantasm a bit more noble.

11. Rogue 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for more gooder shooting.

12. Rogue 9: Your next bout of Mastermind goodies makes you an Insightful Manipulator, letting you spend 1 minute to observe a creature in two of four ways; their intelligence, wisdom, charisma, or class levels. You might also learn some backstory, which’ll make your DM’s life even harder! Or easier, depending on how you use it.

13. Rogue 10: Use this ASI to bring your Intelligence up for better spellcasting. Most of your spells don’t actually need your intelligence, but it also helps you show up Holmes, so it’s rewarding in its own right.

14. Rogue 11: You now have Reliable Talent, so every skill check you’re proficient in will always come up at least a 10 on the die. Yes, this does mean you’re scary good at making people do what you want.

15. Rogue 12: Another ASI! Bump your Dexterity up one more time for even gooderer shooting and AC.

16. Rogue 13: Thirteenth level masterminds are masters of Misdirection, using your reaction to shift an attack to another nearby creature instead of you. Let the brutes fight it out, you’ve got schemes to hatch!

17. Rogue 14: Your Blindsense lets you sense invisible creatures within 10 feet of you. That’s not a great range to work with a ranged weapon, but at least you’ll know when an assassin sneaks up on you.

18. Rogue 15: Your Slippery Mind gives you proficiency with Wisdom saves. That feature name sounds really weird though, it sounds like it should help with lying or something. Oh well.

19. Rogue 16: Use this last ASI to bump up your Charisma for slightly better manipulation.

20. Rogue 17: Your capstone level is also the level you get the last mastermind goodie! Your Soul of Deceit lets you rewrite any attempts to read your mind, matching your deception check versus the reader’s insight check. On top of that, magic will always say you’re telling the truth, no matter what you’re really saying.

Pros:

Soul of Deceit is super useful for you, as it basically makes it impossible to tell if you’re lying. Without magic, people have to be your deception check, and when they’re facing off against a roll with +15 and advantage they’re going to have a bad time. Basically, unless you’re going up against another rogue with expertise in insight, you’re pretty set. What’d’ya mean we already made one like that?

Portent is just really good. Especially for classes where every hit counts. That’s it, it’s just busted.

Beyond simply lying, you’re good at manipulating people, reading into their wants and needs, then stringing them along for your own gain. Insightful Manipulator lets you read people at a glance, and your Keen Mind means you’ll remember what you learned long after the people you learned it from forget you.

Cons:

You are super squishy, with exactly 100 HP at level 20. Try not to go over any waterfalls, it won’t end well for you.

Despite hitting hard enough to count as a barrage, you still technically get only one attack per turn. Missing your shot is a huge letdown, so just... don’t do that?

Your limited spell slots mean you need to be careful with how you use them. The guaranteed damage of Magic Missile is tempting, but you should probably pace yourself.

[variousqueerthings]

About Daniel & Miyagi & Grief’n’Stuff

I commented underneath this awesome gifset that paralleled KK3 and Cobra Kai about some interesting depth of feeling that so far has only been hinted at in the latter in relation to Daniel. 

Lots of people are watching the tv show first and either going back to watch the films (like I’ve done) or deciding to get the story purely from CK, so there’s a small tangent where I mention that I think it’s some pretty cool writing that means depending on what you’ve watched when you understand the story differently, which is just neat meta storytelling (there’s Daniel’s side, there’s Johnny’s side, and there’s the truth).

Spoilers for the Karate Kid movies (but they’re 30 years old, go watch’em)

I mainly focused that little comment on Cobra Kai and Daniel’s trauma, which never really seemed to be about Johnny himself, but rather his presence bringing back unpleasant Cobra Kai memories, but there’s something else I found having watched the three movies after watching the show and it’s sort of related to that and sort of related to Miyagi and sort of related to Daniel’s need to honour his memory perfectly - mainly it’s that Daniel probably needs help processing some grief and guilt + some Moments from those movies that I hope to see in coming seasons.

when I was watching the show (even with a knowledge of the trajectory of the films) I had a sense of Daniel as an avid student of Miyagi’s whose life was deeply affected by his presence in it. Clearly emotionally attached to him and his teachings, but still very much in a mentor/student space, with an allegory of fatherhood attached to it - this did start shifting in season 3 after Daniel returned to Okinawa, but there were still some pieces missing that I needed to actually see their interactions to get.

After watching the movies, I now understand that Daniel was actually very textually Miyagi’s adopted son in everything but name (and that he probably feels like he’s failed him and can never make things right, because he’s dead now and that’s yet another interesting parallel with Johnny in terms of his mother) and that makes every decision he makes in relation to Miyagi slot into place in a much more heart-breaking way.

 - the intensity of his devotion to his teaching style (even though it’s not actually a natural fit to his own temperament and in some ways might be a detriment - there’s a not-quite-tangent here about how combining elements of that style with elements of Johnny’s is what both of them need), his bitterness about Cobra Kai (in tandem with the events of the third movie), his not-at-all Miyagi-like response to the attack on the dojo and theft of Miyagi’s medal of honour, his emotions upon returning to Okinawa, even the more “slanted towards a bit of humorous white people don’t get appropriation” stuff like the scene with the fish and Kyler etcetc. (Although idk how Miyagi would feel about the karate-ads)

Miyagi was his father. Not just a father-adjacent, or a metaphor for fatherhood, no, he just straight up considered Daniel to be his son. And that sentiment was returned. No wonder Daniel’s emotionally compromised when it comes to anything that might tarnish his memories of him.

There are a few scenes in particular that I’m interested in whether they’ll show - 

1. First movie Miyagi gets drunk and speaks to Daniel about his past - while he was fighting in WWII winning his medal of honour, his wife died while pregnant in an internment camp, because she didn’t have access to a doctor (which... there is so much within that little piece of backstory). Daniel tucks a now sleeping Miyagi in and studies the medal, realising that his presence means as much to Miyagi as Miyagi’s does to him. He bows in respect before leaving for the night.

2. Second movie (while they’re building a room for Daniel to stay in at Miyagi’s instead of going with his mum to Fresno, which is unbearably cute. We see him living in it in the third movie) Daniel makes a frame for the medal of honour as a gift - Miyagi isn’t exactly dismissive, but there’s that overtone of how it connects to one of the most painful moments of his life. Still, he’s happy that Daniel took the time to do this for him, even while using it as another teachable Moment about bravery. - in the third movie the frame (same frame as in the tv series) is hanging on Miyagi’s wall.

3. Later on, while they’re in Okinawa, Miyagi’s father dies and he goes to sit at a spot that looks over the sea to mourn him. Daniel finds him there and sits down with him, telling him about his own father’s death, about how he felt guilty as a son that he couldn’t do more for him, but the most important thing was that he was there, held his hand, and said goodbye (cries for the 100th time).

4. Third movie. Before realising that Silver has deliberately manipulated him Daniel’s basically suffering a mental breakdown, comparing himself to a very special Bonsai tree that had earlier been destroyed, describing himself as “broken and twisted” - Miyagi takes him into the garden to show him that he fixed the tree and tells Daniel that he has strong roots and I... cry...

5. In general during the third movie we see Daniel pushing Miyagi away several times (one time after which Miyagi is standing alone with tears in his eyes, fuck ooooffff), because he thinks he’s let him down, while Miyagi is just worried. For his son. And yeah, we have them training again and replanting the fixed Bonsai tree and there’s a sort-of catharsis in that, but it never feels like the core of Daniel’s anxieties in that film are dealt with in the text. 

We know the Bonsai Tree Shop (which Daniel gave his college fund for and was meant to be Miyagi’s retirement) failed. We know that he was terrified of Silver until the end. We know he was beaten half to hell, even if he did win his match in the end. We don’t know what happened to Silver or Barnes. We know that Kreese is back and that Silver at least is likely about to come back.  

Daniel towards the end of that movie feels like he failed Miyagi and the show hasn’t really stated whether or not that feeling ever went away - from the clues so far, I’d say not. 

Quite apart from the fact that the acting in these is fucking stellar (the first of them earned Pat Morita his oscar nod and the third is just... wow. Probably my favourite out of all of the scenes in the franchise), they speak so much to the depth of their relationship and respect for one another and to the theme of parenthood and chosen family that the series later expands upon. 

In a story of terrible fathers, Miyagi was a great one, and with Cobra Kai back - and likely to get worse from here on out - the lack of Miyagi’s presence weighs pretty damn heavily on Daniel, especially if he never dealt with any of these things - of course, now he has Amanda and Johnny, if only he’d ask (Manifests For Season Four). 

The series has so far skewed more towards Johnny, which makes a lot of sense, since there were more unknowns about him to play with going in and it’s at first about building him into the more fully-realised character that Billy Zabka had in his head (+ he’s delightful), but with Terry Silver almost definitely coming into the picture, and Daniel and Johnny finally in the position to really start maybe sharing more of their inner selves with each other, I just really really hope that we get to see these moments as framings for Daniel’s story, not just for Johnny’s perspective of him to start opening up, but so the audience can see and/or remember where Daniel’s coming from. 

This show is very good at deciding when we get to see whose perspective and  the creators are interested in exploring more of that aftermath + have used the medal of honour within the plot already + love Silver as a villain, so all of this is my vague... not really prediction, more of an excitement. 

Daniel’s journey is partially one of realising that Miyagi was always proud of him and that the lessons he taught him mean he’ll always be there to protect him, and I’m just excited for Daniel to understand that.

He’s not as alone as he thinks he is.

[the-last-teabender]

Orbpocalypse Thoughts/Theories:

WARNING 1: Spoilers for up to “Party Fowl.”

WARNING 2: I feel like theorizing for TTRPGS and other collaborative stories requires not only a knowledge of the story and worldbuilding, but also a degree of awareness of and lenience for the multiple people involved and their personal desires. A theory might make perfect fictional sense while also robbing a player of agency or affecting the sustainability of Oxventure as a brand. (Yep, I said it, it’s true.) I also know that’s not what everyone’s here for, so if that sounds deeply un-fun to you, I won’t be hurt if you give this a miss.

WARNING 3: This is longer and more in-dept than anything about an online D&D game has any business being.

Okay guys here we go.

First up, I absolutely do not believe that the events of Orbpocalypse will lead to the end of magic in Geth during the events of Orbpocalypse, or even during the events of Oxventure D&D. In order for that to be the case, I feel like one of two things would have to have happened:

1. Johnny and the entire party privately agreed that they are going to completely alter the gameplay system, retool everyone’s characters permanently to non-casters, and then pretend on main as though none of them knew this would happen, effectively turning this into a scripted showcase rather than a game.

2. Johnny walked everyone through a massive level-up process, leaned on them to count spell slots, and gave Merilwen a bigger spell book, all while privately and without their input or consent permanently altering their characters (a move which would require class changes for pretty much everyone but Corazón) and waiting for the day to spring it on them that the character they’ve spent all this time on are now just. Different.

The former is way too 5D chess and feels more like TAZ than Oxventure. The latter is just cruel. (I say this with full awareness that Johnny has given Prudence a new character sheet for the time being. I do not consider this cruel at all. I’ll come back around to this point.)

The only way I can actually see Orbpocalypse ending magic in Geth permanently is if this is the end of Oxventure D&D, but OxBoxtra is very On Main about their plans. They’ve just branded, they’ve just made a “catch up” video, they’ve got a map and a podcast and all sorts of stuff. If anything this feels like a soft reboot for Ox D&D, which makes cutting magic from the gameplay even more of a Bad Idea.

IF Vocatus is directly connected to the end of magic in Geth, I believe it will be a slow leak — of a kind that would open the door for different games with different magic systems to be explored in the intervening millennia — and that what’s happening to the Oxventurers is foreshadowing of BitD’s broader problem.

Okay, Teabender, so what do you think IS happening?

Simple: the world is leveling up.

We all know Prudence’s magic loss is only temporary, right? Right. This is clearly something Jane and Johnny discussed before the session, but the tone with which it was discussed didn’t indicate any degree of permanence.

I think everyone over the course of the end of Orbpocalpyse will (temporarily) lose their magic, likely paired with something in-story that shakes their identity because Johnny’s really good at that. I believe they will have to defeat Vocatus WITHOUT their trademark skills, and that when they do they will inadvertently fulfill the prophecy and become the True Heroes of Geth. And then get their skills back — possibly somewhat altered, depending on if any of them were musing on refining their characters at all.

(Alternately they could get them back right before or during; that really depends on what kind of story Johnny wants to tell.)

Remember, too, how much focus there was from Bob about how super cool it is that they have magic, and that “this must all be normal for you.” That was said multiple times. And while Bob might just have been starstruck by cool adventure wizards, Johnny was working really hard to make sure that particular sentiment was heard and responded to by the party. It feels thematic.

But what about Dob? Shit, IDK. Dude was off being a dad. In my heart of hearts I want to see him pull some absolutely bonkers eleventh hour shit as he rejoins the party, but it will be what it will be. And it will be cool because Dob is cool.

tl;dr I don’t think Orbpocalypse leads immediately into BitD; I think, at best, it plants a seed for BitD that will take hundreds or thousands of years to actually grow, and might lead to future story arcs and quest lines. I think it is a hard marker for a new phase of Oxventure that will make it more viable in the world of D&D actual plays, and that will let the players adapt and work in any new thoughts or changes they want to make.

tltl;drdr: Orb probably not end magic.

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Chapter three! I already skimmed through it and just. Holy fuck I’m falling in love with this series all over again, and this is just the opening arc, how the hell is this so good??? I’m genuinely just in awe and fuck is it making it hard to decide where to have a cut-off point for this chapter. I suppose we’ll just have to see what fate decides.

(Also, the temptation to just paste in all of the last three pages of the chapter is so incredibly strong, you don’t understand.)

[No. 3 - Entrance Exam]

We start off with some exposition: UA’s hero course is designed to give students all they need to go pro, and is the toughest and most popular hero course in the country, with only a 1 in 300 acceptance rate. Discounting the four slots that are recommendation students, that’s 36 slots a year, which is about…

Yeah. That’s a lotta applications, and that’s just for the hero course! 

Several alumni are mentioned: All Might, who declined the people’s choice award; Endeavor, who’s stopped more crimes than anyone else in recorded history; and Best Jeanist, who’s won the Best Jeanist award eight years running. (One of these things is not like the other~ One of these things just doesn’t belong~) The exposition suggests that graduating from UA is basically a requirement for becoming a great hero - something which we’ll learn soon enough isn’t quite true.

But yeah, Endeavor with the record for crime handling, even above All Might. Quite the impressive hero, though that face…

Not precisely reassuring.

So yeah, Izuku here mentions the date of the exam - February 26th. I figure that this has to be a Sunday, for the simple fact that Japan has a slightly different school schedule than us. Most notably: Japanese schools (some of them, anyways) have 5.5 day school weeks. Yes, that means the first half of Saturday can still be a school day. 

While I couldn’t confirm for sure whether this is more common among the higher end schools, I feel like a school like UA, with its ‘Plus Ultra’ motto, would definitely be a school to have a half-day (or even a full day) on Saturdays, and since they also have to accomodate for middle schools that have Saturday morning classes, I figure that it would make the most sense for UA to schedule this exam on a Sunday. 

The benefits of this, as we’ve already seen, is that we can then narrow down the timeline for the rest of the series, just based on that single, confirmed date. We know from the last chapter that the Sludge Villain had to happen on a Thursday or Friday of the first week of school (April 14th/15th), with the first training session two days later (the 16th/17th). But what this also gives us is when Izuku’s first year of UA starts, AND the possible years it could start on. 

Since we see the glowing baby is in a modern hospital, we can assume that’s correlated to about our times. Give it a few generations, and we can guess that we’re in the 2200s or 2300s for the current era. Based on that assumption, we get the following years that have February 26th on a Sunday:

23rd century potential years: 2204, 2209, 2215, 2226, 2232, 2237, 2243, 2254, 2260, 2265, 2271, 2282, 2288, 2293, 2299

24th century potential years: 2310, 2316, 2321, 2327, 2338, 2344, 2349, 2355, 2366, 2372, 2377, 2383, 2394, 2400

As a side note, when I got into the series, my brain weirdly latched onto the idea that this had to all be happening in the year 2317. I don’t know why I decided on that number, but that’s what I rolled with, and hilariously I could be RIGHT about the year the current manga arc is happening in, provided Izuku’s first year is in 2316. Sometimes you just know, ya know? I know at least one other friend made these calcs independently of me and chose to run with 2237, which is totally valid! Probably makes more sense to be in the 2200s, but there’s room depending on how much time one thinks has passed.

As for when Izuku’s high school school year starts, we know that Japanese schools start on the second Monday of April. Since we don’t know if this is a leap year or not, we’ll end up with two dates, but that’s fine!

Feb 26 (Sun) -> Feb 27 (Mon) -> March (6/5, 13/12, 20/19, 27/26) -> April (3/2, 10/9)

Therefore, Izuku’s first day of classes (not counting the orientation, which I’ve seen a few other timelines assume is on the Sunday before classes start) is April 10th (or the 9th if a leap year)! I know this is all in the future from this chapter, but still, I wanted to share this at some point and figured now was as good a time as always.

Math!

Sorry, I’ve just wanted to share this math I did for a while now, I put a lot of work into it and I am very proud of it. Let’s get back to the chapter.

So Izuku lives a 40 minute train ride away from UA, and has made it just in time for the exam. Apparently, this is only the practical portion? Or well, that’s the part that gets focused on in this chapter, with no mention of the paper exam. I would imagine they’d be the same day, though? But I suppose one can do whatever they like with it.

He’s standing there looking at the school, thinking about how he didn’t have a chance to test the power, while the other students head in-

Excuse me, Toga?? I know that hairstyle is just a bit off, but… ???

...right, anyways. Izuku is wondering whether the hair really did anything (also, it was apparently sour, which, ew.) Katsuki comes up behind him and tells him to move aside.

Truly a flattering image. Izuku panics a bit and greets him, but Katsuki just walks by without another word or gesture, leaving Izuku confused as he watches him head on into the building. The narrative notes that since the villain incident, Katsuki hadn’t bothered Izuku, while the unnamed characters in the background apparently recognize Katsuki from the ‘sludge’ incident (well, not shocked how the fandom held onto that name). 

Izuku notes that he’s gotta stop flinching instinctively, and then tries to hype himself up, noting that it’s not like before, and think about the past ten months while taking a wobbly step forward- and then tripping over himself.

I’m sorry Izuku just has so many fantastic faces in this chapter I am crying trying to limit myself to just a few. But yeah, that little derp as he realizes what’s happening is adorable, especially while Ochako gently sets him back on his feet. She mentions that it’s her quirk, and apologizes for using it, but that it’s a bad omen to trip and fall. (I wonder if that gets played with again during later parts of the series… will have to check to see.)

While Izuku freaks out over talking to a girl, Ochako notes that the exam is nerve-wracking, and then heads off while wishing both of them luck as Izuku stares after. 

This fucking kid. I love him so much. His flustered excitement gets him some weird looks from the others still outside.

We transition to a new character (Present Mic) who immediately shows off his performative side by calling for a ‘hey!’ which… is met with silence from the crowd. He doesn’t let this throw him off, instead letting them know that he’ll present the guidelines for the practical, followed with a ‘YEAH!’ that gets met with an even heavier silence.

Izuku and Katsuki are seated next to each other, with Izuku descending right into excited muttering over Present Mic and how he listens to his radio show every week. Also with the assumption that all the UA teachers are pro heroes, which I mean, true, but still. Katsuki tells Izuku to shut up.

Present Mic explains the test: ten minute long ‘mock cityscape maneuvers’, with the applicants split among seven arenas, labelled ‘A’ through ‘G’. With more than 10k applicants total, that’s about…

Yeah, more than 1500 per arena. Fucking hell, no wonder the robots deplete so quickly in only a few minutes. Also of interest:

“Bring along whatever you want.” So technically, if Izuku were able to procure the tech and training to handle the robots, there would be nothing keeping him from getting into UA quirkless… though I imagine any kid who gets in mostly on tech probably gets side-eyed… though if said kid made their OWN tech, they might also get an offer from the Support department.

(AU where Mei accidentally took the heroics exam and got a shitload of points, but she ended up taking the offer for Support instead despite setting the record for most points in said exam. Katsuki forever wants to fight her. Izuku and her are good friends.)

Also, another thing I love is how Katsuki just told Izuku to shut up a moment ago, and then:

He’s the one to initiate conversation on the details of the test, basically agreeing on the reasoning behind dividing up the students between arenas. Katsuki is annoyed at not being able to crush Izuku, which has Izuku awkwardly silent. 

Also mini-Mic.

Poor, poor Mic. He just wants audience participation. Anyways, he continues on to explain the points system, with the help of cute little Mario-themed silhouettes. There are three kinds of faux villains, with different points awarded for defeating each based on their difficulty levels. Also, attacking other examinees is prohibited!

A student (cough Tenya) raises their hand to ask a question, going on to note that the handout sheet appears to have four varieties of villain, and that such a blatant error (if it is one) reflects poorly on Japan’s top academy. He then spins around and points at Izuku, calling him out for his muttering and how distracting he’s been, and that ‘if this is some sort of game to you, then please leave immediately!’ 

Is that… Mineta seated behind Izuku? I can’t find another panel that disproves that theory, so. Whelp. If you ever for some reason want to have Izuku accidentally deal with the grape early, he’s right there. 

Anyways, Present Mic brings the convo back to the initial question/comment, noting that the fourth villain is worth zero points, and is more of an obstacle. He then brings up Super Mario Brothers, the old retro game, and compares the Zero Pointer to a thwomp. There’s one per site, serving as a gimmick that’ll rampage in close quarters. Tenya thanks Mic and apologizes for the interruption. 

And so we get our final words from Present Mic:

??? either he's referencing the original guy (which I think would be a misquote because I doubt OG Nap ever noted anything like that) or some French hero or the like who took on the name.

Discord offered this to me while putting together the post:

So there you have it. Tentatively confirmed.

Those EYES man, dude’s got the Rinnegan going on.

Honestly, I have to end on this panel just because of that last line from Present Mic. Like, look me in the eyes and tell me this isn’t the exact point to end on. 

The discord’s takeaway from this:

[winterhawkwonderland]

FAQs 2020 Edition

Hey there, Wonderland Participants! As promised, here is your 2020 edition of Questions We Have Received. Some of these are repeats from blog asks or that we have previously answered, but this way it’s all in once place! 

First though, a quick review of the dates and rules:

Dates: (as you can see, we are right on schedule!)

Monday 05 October: Signups open

Sunday 01 November: Signups close

Sunday 08 November: Assignments will be emailed - these will arrive in the email inbox you provided when you signed up so if you did not receive a confirmation email from us we do not have a means to contact you with your assignment - please message the blog ASAP

Sunday 22 November: Check-In #1

Sunday 06 December Check-In #2; Posting Date Signups

December 15-25: Gifts Posted

Friday 15 Jan: Round-Up Posted

Rules:

This exchange is for good-hearted fun! Remember that you’re getting a gift, not ordering a commission.

Don’t be a dick.

Works submitted for this event have to be original works that haven’t yet been posted elsewhere in the fandom. Everybody deserves a new, unique gift!

Remember to keep your recipient a secret until your gift is posted.

This event doesn’t allow any works involving the Big AO3 Four (Character Death, Underage, Rape/Non-con, Extreme Violence). Just… this isn’t the place for it.

This event is open to all ages — with the caveat that participants under the age of 18 will not be allowed to create or receive sexual content.

This year we are allowing art and writing.

Fanart: Final pieces should be digitally consumable. This can include fanart, moodboards, and the like.

Fanfic: Absolute minimum 1000 words; no maximum; expectation between 1K-3K.

All works need to be complete before posting — this includes multi-chapter work.

Now, onto the questions we’ve received so far!

If we write a story best formatted as multiple chapters and finished by the deadline, can we post just chapter one on the day the story is due and each chapter on a new day thereafter or does an entire multi-chaptered work have to go up all at once?

The multi-chapter work must be complete by your posting date and must be completely posted by the end of posting.  Basically, posting runs December 15-25th (dates overlap both Christmas and Hanukkah) - dates will be assigned on a first-come, first-served basis by google form sign-up, and your entire work must be completely posted by December 25th. If you have many chapters, we recommend that you choose an earlier posting date so that you can post a chapter each day until complete and still be done by final posting date. 

Will I get assigned to make either art or fic or do I get the prompts and choose which to make?

You will receive three prompts from your gift recipient and you may fulfill the request in whatever fashion you like as long as it respects the recipients DNWs.  If you can make all three prompts into one art piece or one fic, go for it. You can focus on only one prompt. You can mash up two of the three! Whatever inspires you, we encourage you to get creative!

Are we allowed to combine our gift with a bingo fill if we can fit a bingo event prompt into the gift exchange prompt?

We are okay with this as long as the following conditions are met:

The work produced must prioritize the recipient’s request. If you can make werewolf den mothering and canon-compliant mission AU match up in a way that makes sense and that meets the recipient’s requests and DNWs, go for it.

The Bingo event is okay with prompts doing double-duty for our event and theirs.

The work created must meet the cumulative requirement for BOTH events. For example we are asking for 1-3k at minimum. If the Bingo requires 500 words, you would need to produce at least 1500 words to meet the guidelines for both events. It is hard to give an example of how that would apply to art, but the general idea is that you are creating a body of work which cumulatively meets the requirements for both events. Mood boards might need 6-8 images instead of 4, for example, or art might have a detailed background or full shading rather than a black and white sketch.Please use your good judgment with the idea that you are creating a gift for someone to enjoy in addition to filling a Bingo prompt rather than filling a Bingo prompt that you happen to gift someone.

Are threesome ships allowed for the exchange? As long as Clint and Bucky are prominently included? Can we put that as a request?

You can request an OT3 as part of your requests, but as this is a Winterhawk event your creator is under no obligation to fulfill any poly ships that are not Winterhawk.  Additionally, the focus should definitely be on the Winterhawk aspect of the relationship. 

When we will receive our matches?

On or before November 8th, depending on whether the mods can dig themselves out of the emotional black hole we’re all currently in to get it done early.  We are working on matches every day!

How are matches made? 

Matches are made through a very sophisticated system of: first we match up sensitive topic requests, such as ace/aro, trans, etc. with creators who are comfortable with those subjects and will treat them respectfully. Then we ensure that unusual DNWs (things that don't fall under the Big 4 or that aren't what most would consider 'common' DNWs such as abuse) are not matched with people who might accidentally include that DNW in a gift.  For example, if you put werewolves on your DNW list, we aren't going to match you with someone who has submitted three werewolf prompts. That person likes werewolves, and you don't! It's not a good match! Finally, we pray over the spreadsheet to the Random Number Generator Gods, and they spit out divinely reveal Random Numbers for us to match. Entry number 1 gets matched to holy Russian Roulette entry number 25! Unless one of those already has been matched, that's the pairing that gets emailed out! This is the fairest way we have come up with to do the matchmaking, but if you receive a prompt you absolutely feel you cannot create for, please reach out to us and we will see what we can do about resolving the situation, whether that means we make a matching change, or we ask the gift recipient for new prompts.

How do posting dates work?

After the second check in, a Google Form will be emailed out to all participants - you will be able to choose a date on the form that you would like to post on, running the entire length of the posting period (December 15-25th). There will be a limited number of slots per day (4-5 spots) and they will be filled on a first-come, first-served basis. Again, we recommend that if you have a multi-chapter work and would like to post a chapter per day/every other day that you sign up for an early posting date so that your work is completely posted before the event ends December 25. 

What are the Check-Ins?

Just a way for the Mod Team to check in with participants to ensure things are running smoothly. We will ask you how your gift is coming along, if you’re having any trouble we can help with, and if you have any concerns you would like to voice.  

The second check-in is going to ask you to be a little more specific about your progress towards completion, and it will give us as mods an opportunity to offer you help if you need it - cheerleading, beta readers, etc. 

What if I need to drop out?

Please, please, please let us know as soon as possible.  We have pinch-hitters on standby, very willing to step in if needed - we understand that things happen! We will not even ask you why you need to drop out, we will just say thank you for letting us know and then we will pass your recipients prompts on to a pinch hitter.  No drama at all, and nothing to feel anxious about.  No one will even know that you dropped out unless you tell them.  Gifts are kept anonymous until posting day, and your recipient will still receive a gift regardless of whether you are able to provide it or not. 

[whenasparrowfalls]

More tumblr as a journal

Had some bad news about my dad last week. The lymphoma has spread to his brain, and he's only got months or weeks left.

It really, really sucks. We found out on Monday, and I was pretty upset. Again, David has been amazing. I left work early and he came and picked me up.

I don't think it'll ever really sink in. My dad's confused sometimes, lucid others. I haven't seen him since last weekend, but I'm hopefully going up on Thursday to see him. He's still in hospital, as they're doing one more round of chemo.

My mum and my sister and I have been trying to busy ourselves with practical things. We're not sure yet whether to have him in a nursing home, or at home.

At home would be nice, but I'm aware that it would be a lot for my mum to deal with. The NHS would a couple of care visits a day, but only 30 min slots. So we'd probably want to get someone to come for a few hours every few days, so that my mum could go out/have some time to herself. And maybe have someone overnight a few nights a week, depending on how my dad is.

So in a lot of ways, I think a nursing home would be better. I worry that if we had my dad at home, and he was suddenly in a lot of pain, we'd be reliant on a non-emergency palliative care team coming out and giving him pain medication. The hospital were very clear that you don't get an emergency response team, in that situation. So that's a bit worrying.

But I don't know what visiting would be like in a nursing home. We hear very conflicting things. Staff at the hospital and people we've spoken to at the cancer charity Mcmillan say that visiting policies would be very generous, in spite of covid, because it's end of life care. But on the website of the main nursing home that's a possibility, visiting sounds very limited. There's loads of stuff saying that visiting is only possible if there are no covid cases in the home, and that only 2 named people are allowed to visit a resident. So either my sister or me wouldn't be allowed to visit, if that's the case. And while all the reviews I've seen for this nursing home are good, a lot of them talk about not being able to visit family members there, and only being able to wave through a window etc.

So I don't know. I think we'll find out more next week - my mum's hoping to visit one or two nursing homes. I think basically it will hinge on whether they have an open visiting policy for end of life care or not. If not, he'll come home.

Some more positive news - I think David and I might have found somewhere to live next year! We're quite keen to leave where we are now, partly just for a change. It's a bit basic and utilitarian where we are now. And we're both earning more now, so can afford somewhere nicer. Yesterday we went to view a 2 bed cottage in a village just outside the town where we live now, and I think we're going ahead with it. The village is really nice, it's quite a big village, and has quite a hippyish feel - there's an organic farm shop and a wholefood shop, and lots of little cafes.

The countryside round there is really nice, and we'd have so many nice walking routes literally on our doorstep. The house is nice too - it's got a cottagey feel and character, but the kitchen and all the appliances seem quite new. Upstairs ceilings are a little low, which is the main drawback, as we're tall. But downstairs is fine, so I think it'll be OK. The bathroom is downstairs too, so it's just the bedrooms that are a little low. But it'll be super cosy in winter!

And on a practical note, with everything that's going on with my dad, it would be nice if this goes ahead. It would be good to find somewhere and to have one less thing to worry about in the coming months.

I'm generally doing okay though. I got very upset after we got the news, but as last week wore on, I think the shock wore off a bit. At the end of the day, it sucks, but there's nothing I can do.

My work seem understanding, and I think will be generous if I ask to work more days from home/ask for the odd day off etc. Which is good.

Sorry this has been another long one.

[paperanddice]

Tears of the Crocodile God Part 1

Tears of the Crocodile God is a 4th Edition adventure from Dungeon Magazine issue 209. It’s a paragon tier adventure for 15th-17th level characters, right about in the middle of the system, and is meant to be a relatively dangerous adventure, pushing a party to their limits with few risk-free ways to recover. It contains 10 combat encounters and 4 major puzzles, though two of those puzzles can be used to avoid an encounter and a few of the encounters could be considered optional, depending on how clever players are in avoiding them or choosing which to engage with. Theoretically, an incredibly fast and picky party could avoid nearly every encounter, though doing so would be nearly impossible without foreknowledge or exceptional luck, and would likely result in one of the poor endings for the adventure. These encounters are not trivial ones either, ranging from level 15-20. Normal 4th Edition encounter building isn’t designed for this many fights in a single day, and so the adventure has a mechanism for how to get around it that I’ll discuss as part of the conversion factor.

For the conversions, I’ll put them right around the mid point of the systems as it is in 4E. That means around 10th level for 5e, and 5th level for 13th Age. Both of these are fairly advanced and powerful heroes, and so the threat against them can be similarly advanced and fit within the original story and design. This does require some discussion on the length of the adventure and the number of encounters included within it. 5th Edition is technically meant to have 6-8 encounters per long rest, and so the adventure only slightly exceeds that expectation, though many of the games I’ve run rarely hit such numbers. 13th Age on the other hand is very specifically intended to do 4 regular encounters per full heal-up, so pushing it to more than double that number is far beyond the capacity of the characters.

One aspect I’d like to discuss at the front here as well is the way Icons could interact with the adventure in a 13th Age game. Nephalot and the Crocodile God are not Icons in and of themselves, and they don’t necessarily line up too much with the default Icons in the setting. The closest alignments as I see them are the Crusader (power at all costs, a ritual to sacrifice a few weaker lives to create one more powerful immortal creature could be useful), the High Druid (the Crocodile God itself represents a powerful animal spirit that could be useful to her) or maybe the Three (lean more into the reptile imagery, or give the Crocodile God some draconic features as it absorbs the energy). Standing against the actions of Nephalot and the Crocodile God could be the Archmage (perhaps the evil ritual Nephalot has been using is something an earlier Archmage came up with and the current one wishes to see its use stopped), the Emperor (the Crocodile Cult represents a potential threat to the stability of the Empire), the Great Gold Wyrm (evil must be vanquished), or the Priestess (the Crocodile is not a god, and even if it were it’s a threat to the people with its constant human sacrifices).

Crocodile Fonts

Now we must discuss the mechanism the adventure uses to extend the characters’ capacity. Drinking from the crocodile fonts scattered around the dungeon can refresh characters, healing them, giving back healing surges, and recharging one expended daily power. Each font has 2 free uses and 3 more gated behind a dangerous trap and a skill check. Converting the intention of these fonts into the other systems requires a decision on the best way to do so.

For 5th Edition, my method was to allow each font to grant a short rest (as short rests are far longer in this system than either of the others and some classes rely on them quite a bit), as well as replenishing two spent Hit Dice. They could recharge some spell slots or other features as well, but the mechanism for that was complicated and upon more review not entirely necessary. The resources characters have are intended to be able to last many encounters, so merely granting access to short rests and additional hit dice should theoretically give enough endurance to push through. In a spellcaster heavy party or one that’s less experienced or equipped with little magical gear, allowing a use of the font to recharge half the character’s level in expended spell slots (as the wizard’s arcane recovery feature), or one third for partial casters like paladins and rangers, or a choice of recharging half the maximum amount of another per day limited feature such as Lay on Hands or Sorcery Points. This is more powerful with once per long rest features, so take that into consideration.

13th Age has a few other options however. Full heal-ups aren’t exactly tied to taking a specific long rest the way they would be in D&D. Depending on the story, full heal-ups could be scattered days apart, or could happen in the middle of a dungeon as characters push forward. They are simply intended to come every 4 standard encounters, regardless of the in story time between those encounters. That gives us a choice of simply allowing a full heal-up once the party finishes roughly half the combats, allowing the party a full heal-up at one point during the adventure of their choice, allowing drinking from a font to grant a full heal-up but limiting the fonts so that the total uses available in the dungeon are 1/character, or letting each font allow a similar refreshment as the 4E version of the adventure and disallowing a proper full heal-up while within the dungeon.

My personal preference would probably be to the last of those, as part of the tone of the adventure is pushing through where recovery isn’t really easy. In this case, I’d probably keep the fonts to 5 maximum uses and allow drinking from one to have effectively the exact same effect as 4E. Return to full hp, regain 2 expended recoveries, and recharge one daily use power. Granting recharge rolls for all or even a single expended ability or spell could be good as well, especially for classes like the barbarian who might want more than a single rage use across 10 potential fights. As I have far less experience with 13th Age I can’t be 100% certain on the best option for this, so I’ll leave some of the specifics to your own discretion. If you feel that simply granting a full heal-up fits better with your group’s capabilities and the story, go for that, though I’d still tie it to the crocodile fonts in some capacity. Having them be a key resource and forcing the players to make tough decisions as to when to make use of them is a major point.

As traps, the crocodile fonts are mostly out of combat mechanics and force players to take a risk if they want to push their recovery beyond the freely granted uses.

5th Edition:

Crocodile Font Trap Mechanical and magic trap This trap uses a magical sensor to recognize when to slam the jaws of the statue shut, trying to catch a creature within them. Attempting to drink from the crocodile font after the first two uses forces the character to succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or take 22 (4d10) piercing damage and become restrained. While restrained, the creature takes 11 (2d10) piercing damage at the end of each of its turns and its face is held underwater, forcing it to hold its breath if it can’t breath water. The target or a creature that can reach the font can take a standard action to attempt a DC 15 Strength check, freeing the creature on a success. The font can be jammed open by making a Dexterity check using thieves’ tools or a Strength (Athletics) check against DC 18, allowing the additional drinks without danger. The font can also be destroyed (AC 15; 30 hp; immune to cold, necrotic, poison, and psychic damage). Destroying the font releases a restrained creature, but also neutralizes the font’s magic.

13th Age: These kinds of traps may go a little against some of the themes of the system, but they aren’t a hidden surprise that screws a character over with no warning. They’re clearly signposted, and a character that triggers it has done so having accepted the risks.

Champion-tier crocodile font trap: DC 20 skill check using Dexterity or Strength to hold open so a creature can take a drink from a font after the first two uses without risking getting hit by it; +10 vs. PD (the creature drinking from the font) - 4d6 damage, 5 ongoing damage, and the target is stuck and hampered and the target must start making last gasp saves. Making a last gasp save ends all effects. On a fourth failure, the target’s head or upper body is severed by the font. Multiple use. Make the skill check as the character drinks, rather than ahead of time.

River Crocodiles

The smaller crocodiles that occupy all running water within the labyrinth are generally pretty calm, though characters that bother the crocodiles or get into a combat close to the water may have to contend with them acting up and a few attacking. Given their relative weakness in comparison to the characters, they’ll quickly flee if confronted.

5th Edition River Crocodile Medium beast, unaligned Armor Class 13 (natural armor) Hit Points 16 (3d8 + 3) Speed 20 ft., swim 40 ft. Str 13 (+1) Dex 14 (+1) Con 13 (+1) Int 2 (-4) Wis 10 (+0) Cha 5 (-3) Skills Stealth +4 Senses passive Perception 10 Languages - Challenge 1/4 (50 XP) Hold Breath. The crocodile can hold its breath for 15 minutes. Actions Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 5 (1d8+1) piercing damage and the target is grappled (escape DC 11). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained, and the crocodile can't bite another target.

13th Age:

River Crocodile 3rd level mook [beast] Initiative: +5

Bite +8 vs. AC - 4 damage Natural even hit: The target is stuck and takes 2 ongoing damage (save ends both). The crocodile can’t use its bite on another creature until the target saves.

AC 19 PD 17 MD 13 HP 11 (mook) Mook: Kill one river crocodile for every 11 damage you deal to the mob.

Secret Doors

Finding the secret doors in the labyrinth should be moderately difficult. A DC 20 Wisdom (Perception) check to notice them works for 5th Edition, and a DC 25 Wisdom based skill check should work for 13th Age.

The other common features of the labyrinth, such as the biting insects, runewheels, and the dreams of the crocodile god aren’t as concerning to me. The biting insects are the only one with a real mechanical effect, and it’s not one that I particularly care to keep track of. The first 5th Edition conversion I made included it, and it was just something people regularly forgot and didn’t care too much for and the long rest penalties really shouldn’t come up. I consider taking a long rest within the Labyrinth an automatic fail state for the adventure, as the trial lasts far too long for those outside to wait and the labyrinth will be invaded with dozens of crocodile cult warriors and priests if the time extends that long. Characters are forced to either flee or rush through as fast as possible if they try to take a long rest.

Next update I’ll start exploring the specific encounter and puzzle areas of the dungeon, as well as discuss the four sacrifices that the party may encounter and what could be done with them.

[phoenix-angel-suyari]

I’m having a really rough day and I can’t even drink.

I don’t even know where to start...

So, I think I’m just gonna bullet point this bitch. 

- On Monday, I missed my therapy appointment which I only get once every 2-3 weeks and never seem to be long enough at anywhere from 20-40 minutes per session depending upon my therapist’s availability. There’s a LOT wrong with my therapy situation, but at the moment I’m honestly, seriously lucky to be able to have therapy at all in the first place. So as much as it sucks, at the very least I am receiving mental health care and that’s all that matters. 

However, my missed therapy appointment was not my fault. The night before I was called by the office in regards to my appointment and the coming storm. I was offered a rescheduled in person or a telehealth appointment. Now, as much as I despise the telehealth appointments - entirely because of my living situation - as rare as my appointments can be, semi-consistent therapy has caused me to sort of NEED them. I never get around to actually talking about what I need or want to talk about, but just venting some things is helpful so I opted for the telehealth appointment instead. I was told my appointment had been turned into a telehealth and would retain it’s time slot. 

The next morning, I made sure I was awake and prepared. Nine o’clock came. No phone call. So, I waited. Ten o’clock came. No phone call. By eleven, I thought, I’d make brunch (I only eat twice a day) because I needed to take my medication. By twelve, I figured, I’d go shovel because the snow was coming down by the foot. My therapist called while I was shoveling and was told I was unavailable. She said she’d call back at 1. So I finished up, took a quick shower to get warm and waited. I ended up waiting all day and she never called back. 

I’d assumed initially when time was going by and she wasn’t calling that perhaps I had been the only one who opted for telehealth and she’d misread an email that had let her know she essentially had the day free. I still don’t know what happened there, but I am hoping it doesn’t count as some sort of strike against me (the hospital has a three strikes and they drop you situation) because it was NOT my fault. 

Regardless, now it’s gonna be over a month between when I last spoke to my therapist and when I next speak to my therapist. And honestly, the only saving grace is that I will be seeing my Psychiatrist on Tuesday and she’ll listen to me and I can cry in her office if I need to then. 

- I’m smack dab in the middle of a mid life crisis and I’ve been struggling with it. I know I’d still be where I am if not for covid, but I still can’t help like feeling as if covid has made me lose valuable time I will never get back and which I am quickly running out of to turn my life around. 

This has not been aided at all by a slew of strange but not disturbing, just confusing as hell dreams, and my family being my family. 

- Speaking of my family...

Yesterday, some of us who have been tested recently and/or already finished receiving both doses of vaccination got together for the first time in a year. And it was nice. Enjoyable. I couldn’t really drink because my new meds really do not mesh well with alcohol - which I tested safely at home and learned the hard way. 

Now, it’s important to note that my sister has been pressuring me to open an OnlyFans because in her opinion it’s something easy I can do to make money and it makes no sense for me not to. (We’re not going to get into these “discussions” held previously, only know there have been way more than there should be.) 

So, we’re talking and I point out that everyone sitting around the table is married already and so they at least don’t have to worry about finding someone in all this mess, as it drags on longer and longer. I finally caved and after years of just letting them come at me while not bothering to ever do any work like introducing me to someone they thought I might get along with, I confronted them about it. I was like, “Look, everyone seems to forget they met their spouses through someone else INTRODUCING them. So, if you know someone who’s single and looking for long term - marriage and a family - then please, feel free to hook me up.” 

I was then told - rather seriously - that I should go on a tv show. I - rightly so - pointed out that I didn’t trust shows like that to set me up with anyone because they’re all about the drama and why should I even have to go on tv for something like that. My sister then proceeded to tell everyone how she thought I should open an OnlyFans. Instead of being surprised or anything by this, my family proceeded to spend the next hour trying to convince me to do something I don’t want to do. They basically laid it all out in a start to finish establishing a fan base and getting a patreon to crowdfund the basics for an OnlyFans. They worked out and tried to sell me on content I could offer and when I countered, “Even if I wanted to - which I DON’T - explain to me how the hell I’m supposed to do any of that in THAT house.” The answer being that it was entirely possible. I just had to figure it out. 

My sister said, “You do it like you do when you exercise.” And like when I WHAT?! I’m not ALLOWED to exercise. It “makes too much noise” and invites derision. Which I then have to suffer through. She then proceeded to inform me that I could always establish a career as a Sugar baby. “You don’t even have to have sex with them, you just have to dress pretty and make them feel important.” Can I do the second one? Absolutely. The first is not possible. We argued about it and she was like, “It works! My friend did it in college and she got an apartment and everything!” And I countered that even though there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s a LIFESTYLE and it’s most lucrative for people in their twenties, not someone like me. Which apparently, is an excuse? Because I need an excuse to object to something I fucking objected to when I was IN my twenties. 

So, anyway, I learned that my family seems to enjoy my singleness as a source of conversation, if not entertainment, but which is somehow fulfilling for them because even when I come right out and fucking ASK THEM to HELP ME find someone, it somehow becomes that I don’t need a someone when I can be a camgirl instead. 

I even pointed out that I could make JUST AS MUCH with a cute dog whom I could make an entire social media platform for and was told in like the most what the fuck moment of the evening, “With what money?!” Like, are you fucking SERIOUS?! There was a whole conversation detailing and planning how to get me to be a camgirl and we can’t figure out a fucking DOG?!

I am so fucking done with all of it.    

- I was feeling really sick last night when I got home, like I might throw up and so I just took a shower and went to bed. But, because I did that, I never took any of my meds last night - which is when I take the bulk of them - and my body is just NOT HAVING IT. 

- For some reason my family wanted to have a dog movie marathon today that like, I enjoy those movies, but they’re emotional as fuck for me and I was already not feeling okay, and then wanted to subject me to that. I watched like half an hour of one and then left. 

- I’m not even getting into the dinner fiasco. 

I took a fucking swan dive into a depressive oubliette and the only thing I can hope for is that taking my meds tonight will give me the protective boost enough to not be completely lost tomorrow. I have now learned the hard way that my explanation to my doctors about how my anti-depressants are like doing the brunt of the work to make me capable of daily life without a complete mental breakdown is in fact not a handy analogy. I have learned my lesson. I will not be missing a dose again. 

I’ve never been a smoker but my god, could I use a cigarette right now. 

I did receive some good news this week at least. My liver’s finally healed. I’m gonna have to be on medication for the rest of my life to ensure that, but that’s one organ that forgave me at least. 

I’m going back to sleep. 

[wearesorcerer]

[5e] Metamagic

’Kay, I don’t think I’m going to restart my spell level series just yet. The more I look at the 5e Sorcerer, the more I think it’s turned into the red-headed stepchild of the classes, which makes me a sad panda.

And you thought I was just going to stick to the South Park reference. For shame!

The key to making Sorcerer work is to select the right Metamagics.¹ You don’t get this until third level, which IMHO is a bit silly for your signature, differentiating ability, but it’s probably that way because everyone would pick Twinned Spell (dungeon crawls) or Subtle Spell (any campaign, but especially intrigue). By third level, you’ll probably have found a niche in your casting:

Beguiler (favoring debuffs -- spells that target enemies with debilitating effects. Most debuffs on this list are crowd control effects [alter how the enemies move and behave], rather than ones that apply other types of disadvantages to them. I figured I’d invoke Beguiler-senpai because she needs some love [seriously, go follow @wearebeguiler​], but I’d be remiss if I did not also invoke @we-are-illusionists​ [also -senpai])

Blaster (damage)

Environmentalist (;P more crowd control, but focuses on spells that don’t target creatures and instead alter terrain, visibility, and such)

Utilitarian (divinations, movement spells, etc. -- anything to overcome obstacles. Also includes the few buffs [support spells] on the list)

Jack-of-All-Trades (hybrid)

Each method is going to want different metamagics, so I’ll note which ones help which best. Bear in mind that you only get four metamagic options unless you take Metamagic Adept (Unearthed Arcana 2020: Feats; +2 metamagic options, +2 sorcery points), if you’re even allowed to. This will be a hard decision: all of the core metamagic options are fine, so you might find yourself stuck.

Careful: Cha mod creatures automatically succeed at their saving throws against your spells (1 SP). Although you might initially think “fling fireballs everywhere!”, most damaging AoEs still deal half damage on successful saves. This is more for crowd control effects or AoE debuffs. Beguiler, Environmentalist

Distant: Add 30 ft. to the range of touch spells or double range of ranged spells (1 SP). Anyone would like this. However, whether you should take it depends on which spells you take and the sort of campaign you’re in (e.g., mass battles on open fields vs. tight dungeon corridors). Any

Elemental (UA: Class Feature Variants): Change a spell’s damage type from one of the five elemental energy types to another -- acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder (1 SP). A blaster taking this will benefit from getting to concentrate on things like shape, range, and damage dice over resistances. However, other styles with fewer attack spells (e.g., Jack-of-All-Trades) will benefit more because they’re less able to get around resistances. Jack-of-All-Trades/any

Empowered: Reroll Cha mod damage dice; must take the new rolls (1 SP). Obviously for blasters. You should save this for higher levels when you have large dice pools, particularly ones that exceed your Cha mod so you can keep any good rolls and not feel like you’re wasting the sorcery point. Blaster

Extended: Double the duration (cap: 24 hours) of spells that ordinarily last one minute or longer (1 SP). This is not a combat metamagic (1 minute = 10 rounds), so it’s best used with spells that you’ll take through an entire dungeon or want to have ongoing through the day. You’re mainly looking at the Enchantment, Illusion, and Transmutation schools, plus an assortment of Divinations. You might get more mileage re: spell schools out of it if you have spells from other classes’ lists. Beguiler, Utilitarian

Heightened: Give one target of one of your spells disadvantage on its first saving throw (3 SP). The wording implies that this is useful to blasters, which it kinda is, but not as much as others. It’s mainly for debuffs that only allow one save. Beguiler

Quickened: Cast spell as a bonus action if normally it’s be 1 action or less (2 SP). While you could decide to cast magic missile and fireball in the same round, this is mainly for things like casting a spell and then making an escape with dimension door or comboing based on your choice of spells. Regardless, extra actions are good for anyone. Environmentalist, Utilitarian, Jack-of-All-Trades; any

Seeking (UA: Class Feature Variants): Ignore half- or three-fourths cover when casting a spell with a Dex save or an attack roll (1 SP). Blasters? In dungeons? Are you mad? Wait, no, you’re basic. I gotta say, for a game that’s all about being in rooms with furniture and such, I have not once in twenty years had a DM use the rules for cover. I dunno why, it makes sense to use; maybe it’s just not the first thing you think of when you don’t see it before you. Blaster

Subtle: Cast without verbal or somatic components (1 SP). Useful! This is great for stealth, for reducing agg, and ignoring anti-caster bondage. (You’d think Sorcerers would be kinkier...) A good second choice in any campaign and everyone’s first choice in an intrigue-focused one. Also likely the first choice for the Environmentalist, being passive-aggressive. Environmentalist/any

Twinned: Single-target spell (at the level it’s cast) gains a second target (SP = spell level [min. 1]). With few exceptions, a blaster will mainly find this useful for cantrips, as most damage-dealing spells on the Sorcerer list affect multiple targets. Beguilers will get more use out of this, as they won’t have to spend higher spell slots for standard augmented effects. A Jack-of-All-Trades would benefit from both options, making them that much more viable. Beguiler, Blaster, Jack-of-All-Trades

Unerring (UA: Class Feature Variants): Reroll spell’s missed attack roll, must take reroll; can use other metamagics with it (2 SP). This is for when you’re desperate enough in combat that it needs to end right now, but it hasn’t. Like, you’re going to miss, but it’s unlikely that you’re going to want to use this every time you miss (even if it only cost one SP). Think of it as a panic button and the inverse of Empowered. Blaster, Jack-of-All-Trades; any

¹ This is a bit strange for me, coming from 3.x, as spontaneous casters were the worst at metamagic. However, 5e’s metamagic works like 3.x metapsionics (substitute “you must expend your psionic focus” with “you can’t use more than one metamagic effect at once” -- same thing, more arbitrary) and I’m quite familiar with that.