#even just making a small kofi donation would probably make me cry

[riveluart]

Do you have money to spend, like my style, and want the power to tell me to draw whatever you want? (Within reason)

I have good news for you, I’m opening Ko-Fi Commissions!!!

I’ve never done commissions like this before so I’m kind of limiting it  2 characters max per commission and only adding 1 pokemon for now

(eventually I want to have pokemon commission options to have a whole team but for now just one)

Depending on how well this goes I might open them again soon with more slots open

Fan art is always fair game and feel free to request pride flag backgrounds!!

[primofate]

Breaking Up (Part 3-Final) Albedo x gn!reader

Scenario: Breaking up and getting back together again

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: This is the FLUFF part. Not proofread. 

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2, Fluff in Part 3

Read: (Part 1)  (Part 2)

You hummed a light tune as you walked around fields, gathering herbs from trees and shrubs. The sun was about to set, and it painted a slightly orange hue on the sky. 

“Y/N,” You stand and turn, sunsettia gathered around your arms and other herbs in your backpack. Albedo is walking towards you with a soft smile, and you return it with a bigger one. “Albedo,” you pipe up and jog to meet him halfway. He thinks you’re a little bit like a puppy sometimes, it’s just not possible to resist the eyes that look up at him expectantly. 

All his fears came crashing down on him once more and he half-panicked. 

He wraps one arm around your waist and leans in for a quick kiss on the nose as a greeting, before pulling away and helping you with the sunsettias. “You lost track of time again,” he states and you just laugh sheepishly. “Ah...yeah, I get too into ingredient gathering sometimes...”

Albedo had gotten home and found a note on the table stating where you were. Just like he had requested. Weeks following the two of you getting back together there’d been an incident where he came home and found that you weren’t there yet again. 

Had he done something wrong? 

Did he say something bad? 

Where were you? 

Did you leave again? 

Only to have you strolling into the house the next moment, smile on your face, saying that you went out to do some shopping. He swept you into a hug that confused you. He was beyond terrified that it might have happened again.

He’d go as far as to say that it was borderline PTSD. 

“Can you kindly do me a favor and leave a note if you’ve gone out? It would really... make me feel better,”

And you understood. Perhaps you would’ve felt the same way. If you came home late at night and found that he wasn’t home yet. You’d tend to think that something happened to him, and so you complied to his request. 

He’d become a little better at managing his time. He figured Sucrose could handle more responsibilities and figured that he could also work a little bit at home. Readings and research did count as work, the only downside was that he had to borrow books from the library and bring it all the way back home, but he didn’t care much about that. You kept the house so warm and cozy that it was the perfect place to concentrate and be productive. 

“Come,” Albedo beckoned you from the chair of his makeshift office at home. You tilt your head, as you were about to leave the tea on his table and leave him to work again but he’d grabbed your hand and tugged you towards him.

“Can I help you?” You asked with a slight grin to your question. He pulls you over to his lap, arms around your waist and has your back flush against his front. His head hovering above your shoulder as he continues his reading as if everything was normal, and as if you weren’t sitting on his lap. “Am I just going to stay here?” You giggle and tilt your head back to look up at him.

A small smile cracks on his face as he shushes you, “Shh, absolute concentration is needed during research, Y/N,” but he lets go of the papers he was holding and leans back into his chair, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “You’re required to stay until my energy levels are back to normal,” 

“And what’s your energy levels now?” You play along with his little game, him starting to pepper kisses on your cheek. “I’m at zero, you’ve only just come in after all,” 

Sometimes you wonder if he really gets any work done, but it looks as if he does, and is even more determined to keep researching certain things. Of course, there were still days where he was incredibly busy. But he’d made up for those days by being considerate and aware of the time he spent at work. 

“I apologize... It got busy again this week...” he nearly sighs as he wraps his arms around your waist, the same nose kiss as a greeting. You’re a little more understanding of his predicament, but mostly because he communicated more. Where before he would come home and not say anything, now he would apologize and tell you about what was going wrong in his schedule. 

And the next day he was free, you’d wake up without worrying about breakfast because he had prepared it--granted he wasn’t the best cook in the world but he knew some recipes--and he knew just how you wanted your coffee or your tea. 

Turns out those little things did add up and made everything much easier.

“What’s for dinner today?” He asks as the two of you walk home. You put on a thinking face, “Maybe some cream stew?” the small talk the two of you engage in is peaceful and natural. “Would that be okay?” You glance at him, expecting an answer, but didn’t get any. You blink and turn your head to look at him, he’s lost in thought it looks like. “Albedo?” and he blinks back to turn and look at you. “Yes?” 

“I was asking if cream stew was okay,” there’s a slight crease of worry on your eyebrows, but his smile takes it away. “Yes, that’d be nice,” he simply says and for some odd reason, he doesn’t talk about his day today. It’d almost felt like a routine now, how he would tell you what he and Sucrose had been working on, or maybe if Klee barged in again today, or maybe even Kaeya. 

He was a little too quiet, and you kept stealing glances at him.

Even as the two of you arrive home and close the door behind you, immediately going towards the kitchen, it was a little tense and you weren’t quite sure why. He had this...frown on his face, but he didn’t look angry. “...Is there something on your mind?” you ask as you start prepping the ingredients.

He visibly stiffens up and just stands there. At this point you know that something is wrong. “Did something happen? Did I say something wrong?” You question as you’re about to wipe your hands on a kitchen towel. He suddenly shakes his head, “No, not at all. I--” 

and he starts his story as you put on an apron.

“Kaeya came by today...He says that...” his eyes dart away from you. “That I should consider...getting a ring,” You stop tying the apron around your middle and focus your attention on him. Eyes going a fraction wider. “But I... That is to say... If you would like a ring then I will gladly get you one, Y/N,” you’re not sure where this is going but your heart is starting to patter louder in your chest. “But I just don’t think it would change a thing. A ring is not enough to really tell you how much I...” he pauses and his eyes finally find yours. “How much I adore you. A band around my finger or your finger...can never represent the gratitude,” he emphasizes his next words “the comfort, the love that I have for you,”

It’s starting to feel like there’s an elephant in your throat, and you start to blink a little faster because you don’t want to cry. You just thought it’d be a little silly.

“I just... I hope you’re aware, ring or no ring... My intentions are the same. I don’t plan on spending the rest of my lifetime with anyone else,” you secretly bite your lip, “...It’ll only be you,” and he scratches the back of his neck, tearing his eyes away from you once again, mumbling--and it’s so rare to see him in such a vulnerable state-- “Kaeya mentioned that if I don’t get you a ring... that you might leave... I’m aware he’s not the most trustworthy but... I just... wanted to make sure,”

And despite the few small happy tears that finally cascade down your cheeks you laugh a little, picturing the mischievous glint in Kaeya’s eyes as he tells this to Albedo. 

Albedo smiles a little and brushes the few tears that managed to slip out, but you reply to him. “You know how Kaeya is, Bedo,” which translates to ‘don’t listen to him,’. Albedo knows. But when it came to you he wasn’t going to take chances. You contentedly wrap your arms around his middle and he hugs you back around your shoulders as he whispers into your hair. “But you know... Perhaps I should get you a ring, when the time comes,”

“Hm?” You merely murmur, asking about his sudden change in opinion.

“Just to let others know you’re taken,” 

Another rumble of laughter lifts from your chest. This time, he joins you.

Taglist: @rim0na @sweeti-pie @yamsthegod @reaped-winnower @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @fanfictionenthusiast @skatercashew @leefletter @kimbapsana @hentaje @marginmaster87 @tempehlust @rinnesy @hallohun @softlybeloved @ssalamanderr @ben6ett @rytszk @guilixi @mondstadts-favourite-traveler @mkazuyuh @ayra2452008 @simpingover @soft-like-sunshine @lnrchii @scheophi @larkspyrr @outlet-0

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[parkersroses]

lovin’ on you. | harry styles.

summary: Harry loves loving on you and wants to take you on a date.

pairing: harry styles x fem!reader

wc: 4.1k

warnings: none, just a ball of fluff about boyfriend!harry <3

a/n: (disclaimer: gif belongs to @queenbeestuffs) hellooo! hope y’all like this fic about boyfriend!harry. i just wanted to write about harry taking you on a date. hope y’all like it! if you do, pls reblog and comment to let me know what you like about it! donate to my kofi if you’d like to support me more! all the love!

You have decided that you love mornings now, probably because Harry is generally a morning person. So perhaps, that rubbed off on you.

You enjoy hearing the sounds of birds chirping and seeing how the sun shines through your curtains. Even if it was raining, you would enjoy the cold air and listening to the rain drops on the window. Mornings are somewhat more relaxing when there’s nothing to do. No work calls from the studio or the office, no distractions, just the sweet silence in your four walls enjoying comfort you get in your bed next to him.

The weekend mornings are particularly what you look forward to every week. You don’t have to wake up super early to get things done around the house. You don’t have any work to be done considering you managed to finish it all beforehand and Harry always makes sure he doesn’t need to go to the studio on the weekends because he wants to spend as much time with you in your home. Besides, being at home with you doesn’t really stop his flow of inspiration for songs. In fact, he tells you he may just be able to write a lot of love songs inspired by you. When he told you this, you swear you might cry at how romantic and loving he is.

When you wake up, your eyes still feel heavy after sleeping past your usual bedtime. Your vision is a bit blurry but you could still see the sun rays just merely peeping through your curtains. Tiredly, you grab your phone from the bedside table, wincing as your eyes adjust to the brightness of the screen. 7:02 AM, the screen reads. You sigh as you turn your phone, setting it down before slowly turning your body towards the handsome man sleeping next to you.

Despite your eyes feeling heavy and begging for you to go back to sleep, you take your time to admire Harry who is practically wheezing as he sleeps. Your eyes roam around his face from the little moles on his face to the way his cheek is squished onto the pillow to how pink and luscious his lips look. It still amazes you how young people may look when they sleep because honestly, Harry doesn’t look a day over 23 or 24. Then again, he’s a very healthy person so generally manages to look just as youthful as he was before.

You smile at the sight of him as you plant the tiniest kiss on the tip of his nose, hoping it won’t wake him up. You bury your face under the crook of his neck, making yourself comfortable before feeling yourself falling asleep again. You’re sure to wake up again within a few minutes so you just enjoy the sleep you get while you can.

After what seemingly felt like hours but is only just a few minutes later, you feel yourself awake again. This time, the sun rays are much brighter now as it brightens up the room. It doesn’t seem like you or Harry moved around from your positions at all. 

A sudden ringing suddenly feels the room, making you jump at the sound. You realise that familiar tone is Harry’s alarm, always the early riser he is. You groan in your place as you attempt to shake him awake so he could turn it off. You simply just cannot have any loud noise disrupt your serene and relaxing morning.

“Bubs, wake up,” you tell him, shaking his shoulder gently. You hear him groan in his sleep as he attempts to bury his face further into his pillow. “Wha’?” You hear his muffled voice against the pillow. His eyes are still closed and you can tell he isn’t fully awake to realise his stupid alarm that he set for a weekend morning has been ringing. “Bubs, your alarm’s ringing. Turn it off,” you groan as you pull the blankets higher up your body. 

He sighs before turning his body to reach for his phone on his bedside table, blindly having his hand search around with his eyes closed. You hear the combination of the alarm ringing (as it seemingly just gets louder every second) and his hand patting around the table. For a minute, you hear a thud on the carpet beneath your bed and Harry cursing under his breath before feeling his body pulling away completely from yours. You do not question it as you attempt to get some comfort in your bed, eyes closed like you’re ready to fall asleep again. Finally, your ears are blessed as the ringing alarm stops. 

Harry being the clumsy, sleepy man he is accidentally knocked his phone off his table which would explain why he was muttering swear words under his breath so early. After switching off the alarm and setting the phone back, he pulls up the blankets on his body again to get some warmth as he cuddles in your side, you doing the same as you feel him close to you again. Your legs are tangled together underneath the blankets and his arm makes its way to wrap around you to pull you closer to him until there seems to be no space left between them. 

You hum a little as you feel Harry planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “G’morning, darlin’,” he mumbles out in his deep raspy morning voice. It never fails to send shivers up your spine. “Mornin’, H,” you sigh as you bury your nose in his neck. You feel him stroking your hair gently, careful not to get it all tangled up, as he hums a random tune. You lift your head and look at him with heavy, sleepy eyes. His eyes were already open, albeit still having sleep in them. He is looking at you with the same loving eyes he gives you every day. 

“Hi,” you mumble out as you rub your eyes, giving him a tired smile. “Hi, baby,” he says back, kissing your head again. You look up at him, pouting your lips slightly at him. “Kissy?” you ask him, making him chuckle at your request. Though, he is not going to deny a request to kiss you. 

He presses his lips against yours and you hum in delight at the feeling of his soft lips. You whine at him as he breaks away from the kiss and he smiles at you cheekily. “Anotha’ one, lovie?” He asks as your noses brush against each other. “Mhmm,” you hum as you pout your lips at him again. Harry smiles again as he kisses you again gently, savouring the taste of your lips. He feels your lips move against his, giggling when he chases your lips as you pull away. He swears your laughter is one of the sweetest sounds he’s ever heard. 

You stare at the beautiful man in front of you, sighing in bliss in the early morning. “M’tired,” you mumble out as you close your eyes and bury your face in your pillow. You hear Harry chuckle above you. “Yeah, me too,” he sighs as he adjusts himself on the bed. 

“You have any studio things to do today?” You ask curiously. While you hope that he would be free the whole weekend so you could spend some time together, you know that there’ll be times where he would have to rush to the studio for a bit to settle some things that seem to arise last minute before the weekend. 

He sighs and nods his head at your question. “Yeah. Just some last minute things. Shouldn’t take too long I hope. Sorry, lovie,” he says as he caresses your head. You frown a bit at this but do not whine. You turn your head to kiss his palm. “S’alright,” you say as you take his hand in yours and play with his fingers. Harry frowns at you, he knows how much you want him all to yourself on the days he shouldn’t really be working, he’d rather sleep in with you too than go to work on the weekend.

He adjusts himself so he leans his head on his hand, his elbow holding him up. “Hey, think I have an idea,” he starts. You cock an eyebrow up as he says this. “Oh?” You ask, curious as to what he’s planning as he simply just smiles at you. 

“So, I’ll go to the studio, try to finish up as soon as possible. And then, around noon, I’ll be all yours,” he says this as he boops your nose, making you scrunch your face. “and we could meet up somewhere for lunch,” he suggests. He sees how your eyes sparkle at the suggestion. “Like a date?” You ask sheepishly. 

Harry simply grins at you as he nods. “Exactly like a date. I’m taking my love out for a date,” he confirms, sounding proud as he announces this. You blush at this. You always appreciate the small things Harry does for you, whether it’d be buying you flowers and taking you out to get food, or even just watching movies at home while putting on face masks to pamper yourself. And you absolutely love him for it. 

“Okay,” you agree. “Yeah?” He smiles at you and you can’t help but smile back, happiness radiating on your face. “Yeah, okay! I’ll go on a date with you,” you tease him. “Yessss!” He says blissfully as he lies back down on his back, acting as if this is the first time he’s asked you out. You giggle at his reaction, leaning over to kiss him, in which he reciprocates quickly. He moans into the kiss as it gets more passionate. You pull away and gaze down on him, your cheeks hurting from smiling so much. 

You get yourself off the bed and Harry whines at this, attempting to pull you down to him. “Noooo,” he whines as he cuddles on your side. You laugh at his childish behaviour. “C’mon, bubs. Have to make you breakfast,” you say as you pull yourself away from him. He sighs dramatically as he lets go of you and gets up from the bed. “We’re going on a date, bubs,” you exclaim excitedly as you hug by his side.

He grins at this and he plants small kisses on your head as you both exit your bedroom. “Yes, we are, darlin’,” he says lovingly, giving you a few gentle bum pats. Though, you never minded them. 

❊

A few hours go by and noon is approaching soon. Harry left shortly after breakfast, got dressed up in his best dressed pants and a casual T-shirt tucked in. He looked really good as he always does and you found it hard to let him go after kissing all over his face. Before he left, he was debating whether or not to take the car with him. Though, you settled for meeting him at the restaurant you both love later and insisted on calling an Uber then.

You rummage through your shared closet, trying to find a cute dress to wear for your date. You feel like a teenager again after your crush just asked you out.

It’s amazing how despite being with Harry for so long, he still makes you feel that way, loved and adored. People would say that there’s no need to dress up on romantic dates despite having been together for years. But Harry never believed that. To him, there’s no expiry date on showing your loved one how much they meant to you and Harry always took any opportunity he can get to shower you with love and bring out some romance into your relationship. Even if it’s just the little things like painting each other’s nails and making home cooked dinner. 

You opt to wear a pretty white dress that goes down to your knees with blue flowers printed all over. You also decided to wear your makeup and hair more natural today, you didn’t feel like going all out for that. You knew Harry would think you’re beautiful nonetheless whether you wear your makeup light or heavy. Finally, you topped off your outfit with some sandals. Personally, you love your outfit, giving you summery vibes for the season. 

While waiting for your ride, Harry texts you. 

Lovieeee. I’m done with everything here. Off to the restaurant soon. Can’t wait to see you, beautiful. x

You smile at his message and quickly type in your response, just in time as the Uber arrives. You quickly check to see if your things are in your bag before heading out, locking the door behind you. 

Hii handsome. My ride’s here. Can’t wait to see you too. <3

When you arrived at the restaurant, Harry still hadn't arrived, though you assumed that he probably got into some slight traffic on the way. So you ask the waitress for some water while waiting for him. As you wait, you can only hope that the paparazzi doesn’t disturb your date today. 

A few minutes passed, you keep looking out of the window near your table to see if your boyfriend is coming in. As if on cue, the familiar curly-headed man struts in through the door, with a bouquet of flowers in hand. Red roses to be exact. You feel your heart melting inside as you look at him greeting the waiters and waitresses as he makes his way to you, his smile so bright to it could light up the whole room. 

“Hello, my love,” he greets you, leaning down to give you a few kisses. He then hands you the bouquet in which you accept happily. “Flowers for my lovie,” he says smiling. You beam at him as you inhale the scent of roses in. “Thank you, H,” you tell him, seemingly blushing at his romantic gesture. 

The waitress that was with you comes by again with menus, smiling at the both of you after seeing the flowers and the affectionate kisses being exchanged. You both decide on what you want to eat and thank the waitress as you give back the menus. 

You turn to face Harry again, resting your face on your hands as you stare at him lovingly. Harry copies your actions, making you both giggle. “Hi,” he beams at you. “Hi,” you say back to him. “Is this why you were late? Buying flowers?” You ask, gesturing at the bouquet on the table. He shrugs at you like it’s no big deal. “Of course. You deserve some flowers. Plus, it’ll look great on our dining table,” he tells you as he sips on his water. You only beam at him as you reach over to hold his hand, in which he gladly lets you.

He’s always been such a huge romantic. 

“How’s the music stuff coming along?” You inquire as you take a sip of your water. “It’s great! Just had some stuff to discuss and confirm earlier, about what songs are good and all that,” he shrugs like it’s no big deal. 

You playfully roll your eyes at him and he chuckles at this. “Well, knowing you’re writing those songs, I’m sure all the songs are great,” you tell him and you mean it. It’s no doubt that Harry is a master at writing songs. He writes them like he’s telling a story, with subtle details and specificity, with meaning and juxtaposition. You absolutely adore his songs and you always make sure to praise him for it. 

He blushes at your compliment. “Thank you, darlin’. What about you? Did ya do anything before you left home?” You begin to tell him what you did at home while he was gone. Albeit it isn’t that interesting as his job, it’s nice that he insists on knowing what you’ve been up to around the house, whether it’d be reading a book or finding a momento while cleaning.

“Think I need to stop by the book store sometime soon. M’running out of books to read,” you pout as you think about the books you’ve been rereading over again. Your food soon arrives, the smell making your mouths water. Harry grabs your hand from across the table and brings it up to his face, kissing your knuckles. 

You blush at this. It seems that Harry is feeling extra affectionate with you today, though you’re not complaining. “Eat up, lovie,” He smiles at you as he picks up his cutlery.

As time went by, you and Harry discussed random things as you eat. From grocery shopping to studio work, from his offers for acting to work projects in your office. Eventually, after your food is finished, you both order some drinks and a slice of chocolate cake as dessert. 

You could tell that people are probably staring at the two of you as you share your cake and exchange loving affection. Most probably they are looking to make sure that, yes, it is indeed Harry Styles in the same restaurant as them. You’re sure there will be pictures surfacing the internet and articles written about the two of you somehow. Usually, you would blush at their stares, but to be honest, you don’t really care at the moment. All you can think of is Harry, just Harry, sitting in front of you giving all his attention on your date. 

“So, I was thinking,” he begins as he sets his spoon down. “Oh no,” you joke as you take the last bite of the cake. 

Harry laughs at you, taking your hand in his again. “Shhhh, let me speak, darlin’,” he hushes and you giggle at him. “So, we can go to the bookstore. Get you some books for your shelf. And then, maybe we could buy some stuff and have a bubble bath this evening,” he suggests. You beam at his suggestion and the thought of spending the evening with him in a relaxing bath sounds heavenly to you. 

“You seem to have a lot of ideas for today, H,” you tease him. Although, you love how he’s always coming up with random yet domestic ideas to spend time with you. “What can I say, my love? I’m a romantic,” he smirks at you as he plays with your fingers.

You giggle, shaking your head at him. “Well, I love it,” you agree with his suggestion. Harry just smiles at you and kisses your knuckles again. “Well, I love you,” he says, and if it was not possible for your heart to grow ten times bigger before, it’s definitely possible now. 

Right after lunch (with Harry being super generous to leave the waitress a huge tip), you both walk hand in hand to a nearby bookstore. The warm sunshine is shining bright above you, you are lucky to have brought your sunglasses with. Not to mention, you admit that Harry looks heavenly under the sun, which casted a little halo over his head. Harry playfully bumps into as he blushes when you say this. It’s funny how he’s still the shy man that was nervous to ask you out even though he’s an incredibly talented artist.

You both separate into different aisles once you enter the store. You notice how a few fans recognize Harry and shyly go up to him to ask for a picture, which makes you smile. You skim through the books on the shelf, humming along to the tune of Young Hearts that’s playing throughout the store. Harry turns to another aisle, seeing you reading the summary of a book in your hands, your head bopping to the music that was playing. He smiles at the sight, always loving to admire you in whatever things you do. If the fans didn’t see how smitten he is for you, they’re sure to know now. 

Harry sneaks up slowly behind you, catching you off guard as he wraps his arms around you. You turn your head to kiss his cheek, he smiles with his eyes closed, loving the feeling of your lips on him. He hums with you the tune of music, gently swaying your bodies together. His head is out on your shoulder as he gently kisses your neck, making you giggle at the ticklish feeling. 

He pulls away, still citing the lyrics as he tries to spin you in your place. You laugh at this as you do so. Muttering out lyrics as you both move and dance in between the shelves, laughter emitting from the both of you as people stare, probably thinking of how adorable or crazy you are. 

It’s a nice feeling, to feel so in love with the person you’re with. And you adore that about your relationship with Harry.

❊

“D’you need more bubbles, darlin’?” Harry asks from the bathroom. You are busy taking off your clothes and makeup when he asks you this. Walking in your bathroom in just your underwear, you smile as you see Harry stirs around the water in the tub, making sure it’s just the right temperature. Little candles that you bought are lit up on the side of the tub. “Think we have enough bubbles, H,” you chuckle as he tries to add some more to the tub. 

After the bookstore where you might’ve received some glares from dancing around, you both drove to an outlet to buy some bathroom items. You try not to go overboard with what you bought, though you think Harry didn’t mind putting in some scented candles, soap and bath bombs in your cart. You stared at him like he was insane, but he defends himself and assures you it’s no problem because “my lovie only deserves the best bubble bath”. 

Harry stands upright from the tub and looks at you. His green hypnotising eyes admiring your nearly naked figure, which makes you blush. “What?” You ask shyly. He only smiles at you as he wraps an arm around your figure. “Nothing. Just thinkin’ of how I’m dating a goddess,” he smirks at you and you scoff as you poke his side, causing him to laugh. “Always the charmer, huh?” 

Harry just shrugs at this before giving your bum some gentle pats, him squeezing it slightly not going unnoticed to you. “In ya go, lovie,” he gestures to get in the tub as he leaves the room for a bit. 

You carefully sit down in the tub, surrounded by bubbles and the sweet scent filling in your nostrils. You play around with the water before a very naked Harry arrives back, which makes your face heat up a bit, even though it’s nothing you haven’t seen. You smile at him as you scoot over so he could sit behind you. 

“Did you enjoy today?” He asks, gently rubbing your back. You instantly feel relaxed as you feel his hands on you. “I did. I loved today,” you sigh, leaning back onto his chest as you feel his arms wrap around your abdomen. 

“Yeah?” He murmurs as he plants multiple kisses on your shoulder up to your head. “Mhmm,” You hum in reply, closing your eyes as you feel tension in your muscles escape in the calm serene bath you’re in. It is a comfortable silence between you, the only thing you could hear is the sound of yours and Harry’s breath and occasionally the water rippling as you made any movement. 

“Don’t fall asleep on me, lovie. We still haven’t had dinner,” he chuckles as he sees your eyes closed, looking so calm and relaxed. “M’not. Just resting my eyes,” you murmur, though you don’t want to admit that you’re slowly getting sleepy. “What’re we having for dinner?” You ask as you rest your head on his shoulder. 

“Mmm, maybe we’ll just order pizza. That sound good?” he suggests. You hum in agreement, sighing as you feel his hand caressing your head. 

You look up to him and Harry looks down at you after feeling your head move from his shoulder. “Hey,” you smile at him. He smiles back, kissing the tip of your nose. “Hi, my love,” He says back. You beam at him as you run your fingers through his hair, him sighing blissfully at the feeling. 

“Thank you for today,” you say. You kiss his lips, letting out a small moan as he kisses you back. “I love you,” you say lovingly to him. “I love you too, darlin’,” he replies as he looks at you a certain way. Like you’ve just hung all the stars in the sky. With so much awe and love for you. 

He kisses you again before his lips move all over your face, making you giggle. Moving around, the water splashes out from the tub as you both laugh in joy, soaking in the love you have for each other. 

Today was definitely a good day. A day you hope would continue forever with Harry.

[itsallavengers]

Nothing left to salvage

The first time Tony saw Steve again, it was three days after he’d been killed on the steps of the Senate.

Only for a second. Tony had slipped into his office, exhausted and clasping at a fresh coffee with shaking fingers to keep him awake and away from the nightmares, and when he’d looked up Steve had been there. Just leaning against the desk, uniform still on, the three bloody marks a stark darkness against the colours of his suit. 

Tony felt the coffee slip out of his grasp and burn his hand as it spilled all over him. He winced at the sharp pain, and when he looked up, Steve hadn’t been there any more. 

That was when Tony had realised it would be the beginning. 

He never usually stayed for long. Just flashes, not enough for Tony to fully take him in. But he saw Steve out of the corner of his eye when he was dragging himself out of bed, he saw him in the reflection of his mirror, leaning against the wall and watching Tony zip up his Director’s uniform. Every time, the pain grew worse in his chest. He’d not slept in days; seven, by his count. Ever since Steve had been...

Tony wondered whether he was being haunted. He was the one responsible for Steve’s death, after all. It was probably fair.  Then again, the more likely answer was that he was going insane.

When he finally did end up crumpling in the middle of his workshop and blacking out with exhaustion, though, he realised that he’d come to an interesting conclusion: Steve stayed longer. In his head, he was there in Tony’s dreams too. Crouching over Tony, just watching him. Sometimes he’d speak- ‘this is your fault’, ‘I’d still be alive if you hadn’t sent me to my death’, ‘I can’t even bare to look at you’. 

But he was still there. When Tony slept, Steve was still alive. Cursing his name and saying the worst things Tony could possibly imagine, sure, but at least he was breathing. Which was better than the situation was when Tony was conscious. 

So, over the next few weeks, he perfected his method. Steve only ever showed up when Tony was truly exhausted, so he couldn’t simply sleep all the time. Then he wouldn’t come. So instead, he did the opposite- days and days spent conscious, living on coffee, hands shaking as he filed out mission reports, tried to pick up the remains of SHIELD and get it back up and running. He never let himself stop moving, because there was too much to do. He didn’t think about Steve- about the broken team, about everything that had happened. Just worked. 

And then when the world started to get blurry around the edges and he could hardly keep his head up, Steve would show again. Sitting on the chairs like he’d used to; lax and calm, watching Tony with a cocked head. Leaning against the walls of Tony’s room, a small smile on his face. Tony never managed to make him stay long; when his gaze settled upon the image of the other man, it disappeared. But it was enough. It was enough to keep up the fantasy. 

See, Steve wasn’t dead. Not really. And as long as Tony kept seeing him around, he’d never have to believe it. And sure, whenever Tony did dream of him (often), it’d be terrible and Steve would blame him, and hit him, and Tony would cry and Steve would laugh at him, but it was a good sort of hurt. It was better than the hurt that plagued him every waking day, the stab of reality. Of what was really going on. 

If Tony let himself think of it for too long, he’d go even more insane than he already was. 

So he carried it on. Most days, he felt so tired he could hardly stand. He knew it made him vulnerable, but he embraced it. Maybe in this state, someone would actually kill him and stop everything, all the hurt, altogether. But until that happened, then this was the only way to see Steve. 

“You need to stop this,” Rhodey told him on the rare occasion that he managed to actually speak to Tony, “you’re destroying yourself, man.”

And Tony never said that was what he wanted, but he was pretty sure Rhodey knew anyway. 

“I trusted you, Tony,” Steve said later that night, his hand reaching up and cupping Tony’s face, “you were my best friend. And now I’m dead, and it’s your fault.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony told him through the tears, and Steve punched him in the mouth.

“Liar,” he said softly, “don’t lie to me, Tony, you’ve already hurt me enough.”

“I am,” Tony choked from the floor, “I am, I’m sorry Steve, this is never what I wanted-”

Steve’s foot rammed into his shoulder and he slammed back into the floor again. “If it wasn’t what you wanted, then why couldn’t you just have listened to me?” Steve’s face twisted and his fists clenched as he loomed over Tony. “We would have been able to stop it, you and me. If we’d been on the same side.”

Tony said nothing and turned his gaze to the floor. He felt Steve crouch next to him, thumb gentle as it scooped up the blood that had begun trickling from Tony’s bottom lip where he’d been hit. “I know you loved me,” he murmured softly, “I know you cared for me. But you realise it was one-sided, right? If I’d known, when I was alive, that you felt that way about me, I would’ve been fucking disgusted. I could never have loved you- think my standards are a little higher than an irritating alcoholic manwhore, hmm?”

Tony’s breath hitched. “Recovering,” he gasped, “I don’t drink any more, you... you know I don’t.”

But Steve just smiled, leaning forward and kissing Tony’s bloody mouth. “Well maybe you should pick the hobby up again,” he murmured, “you and I both know it’s the only thing that’s going to make all this pain stop, Tony.”

When he blinked awake again, those words still spun around his head like racecars. It was dark- 2 in the morning. Tony had gotten three hours of sleep. His mouth tasted bloody- must’ve bitten it in his sleep. 

He sat up, and swallowed through a dry throat. He was so tired. So so so tired. There wasn’t even any point fighting it any more, was there? Steve was right. Tony had nothing to work toward, he wasn’t a better person when he was sober- still the man responsible for killing Captain America, still just a dirty, pathetic, worthless man.

He slipped out of bed and padded quietly downstairs into the kitchen. There was no panic or jerkiness to his actions. It wasn’t even impulsive. He knew what he was doing, he wanted it. He just wasn’t enough to try and keep fighting with it any more. 

The bourbon sat on the shelf, unopened. It had used to be his beacon of strength- it’s there, it’s accessible, and it was never going to be touched. Not again. He remembers how Steve had looked at him so proudly when he’d told him that. And for years, he’d kept to that promise. Through hell, through the lowest points, he’d never touched that fucking bottle. And every time he’d looked at it, he’d felt that little bit happier.

But now Steve was dead, and that was Tony’s fault, and Steve had never loved him anyway, so really, who gave a shit about what he did with himself? There was no one left to care. He’d pushed them all away. They all hated him, and most of them blamed him for Steve’s death. 

There was no-one left to be strong for- least of all himself. 

Half an hour later, he was curled into the corner of the kitchen counters and the world was spinning slowly in front of him. In his hand, the bottle was nearly empty. 

Steve stood over him, shaking his head. “I always knew you’d fail,” he said gently, as if trying to break it to Tony lightly, “you were never good enough for me after all.”

Tony nodded emptily, watching Steve slowly lean down and then tip the bottle up, into his mouth. “There you go,” he guided as Tony swallowed the liquid down and finished the bottle, “see, just look at you. Sat alone, drunk off your fucking ass as everyone suffers around you. How selfish.”

He brushed absently at the tear which slipped down Tony’s cheek and then tutted, brushing it across his bloody chest. Tony just watched him, silent. His stomach was rolling, and he knew he was going to throw up soon. If he was lucky, the alcohol might even kill him.

And if he wasn’t- well, he’d just found another way to speak to Steve. Drinking. So there was one benefit to not killing himself now, at least, and that was that in a day or two, he could just do this all over again. 

He let his eyes fall shut, and in his mind, Steve placed his hand over Tony’s as it curled weakly around the bottle.

Donate to my kofi

[afteriwake]

The Head Knows What The Heart Wants (17/18) - NEW CHAPTER

And this one is almost done! Just an epilogue to show what happens to the best-laid plans of Molly and Moran...

The Head Knows What The Heart Wants - After the revelation that there had been some plotting between Moriarty and Eurus before his death, Sebastian Moran had decided to do whatever it took to keep Molly safe…even if that meant ruining whatever the results of his ex-lover’s collusion with the Holmes sister were. But after enough time had gone by, things changed, and that was when Eurus decided to strike. That was when Sebastian couldn’t deny the truth any longer: Molly Hooper had become the most important person in his life…and he would do whatever it took to make sure she was safe.

READ CHAPTER 1 | READ CHAPTER 17 | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME? | BUY ME A KOFI? | MY PATREON

He and Molly returned on the 30th of December after having stayed in New York for a time, mostly ensconced in his apartment, but someone (probably Mycroft) had made sure there was food in the flat to have a party. It was a rather somber New Year’s celebration, as no one felt entirely festive. They were safe; with Eurus in a comatose state, unless she began to show signs of waking up, they’d be safe for a while. And even if she did, depending on how long it took, there may not be anyone to help her enact revenge, if that was even what she wanted. Not many people survive damage to the head like the type that she had, so there was little known that might give any indication as to how she was going to be if she ever woke up. She could be in the mental state of a toddler, her eldest brother said, for all they knew.

Still, in some small way, he supposed he was glad Eurus hadn’t died. There was some peace for her parents, who could see her and, perhaps for the first time in ages, hold her hand in comfort. He hadn’t asked the Holmes brothers how they felt about the situation, but Holmes had told Molly he was glad she was the victor in the situation, to which Molly had nearly broken into tears. But it had been he who comforted her, not Holmes, something Eurus had misjudged greatly when she figured who was more important to Molly if she had even taken that into consideration at all. Maybe that was why she had aimed for his chest for the second shot.

She knew Molly’s heart belonged to someone other than her brother, regardless of whether his heart still belonged to Molly.

Eventually, before the stroke of midnight, everyone went back home to celebrate in their own quiet ways, leaving the two of them in bed, making sure that they vigorously celebrated being together when they almost couldn’t be. It was the first stroke of midnight when she came, his name coming out from her throat in a gasp, and as the New Year dawned he followed before he collapsed on top of her, pressing soft kisses over her breasts and shoulders.

“Happy New Year,” she said, letting her hand run along his sweat-slicked spine.

“Same,” he said, and she gave her first soft laugh since the events in the apartment. That was good, he realized as he moved his kisses to her pulse point, up her throat, to her jaw. Finally, he made it to her lips, kissing her languidly and then dropping his head next to her and nestling his nose in the crook of her neck.

“Marry me?” she asked. “I mean, let’s do it. Let’s just...go elope somewhere. Somewhere warm and bright and someplace with nude beaches and tropical drinks.”

“I’m supposed to ask you,” he said. “But if that’s what you want...”

“I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. I was so scared...I thought she’d kill you. I thought she’d kill you and that scared the bloody hell out of me. And now that she’s...” She trailed off.

“Now that she’s incapacitated and we’re both alive you feel safer and want things to be more permanent?” he ventured.

“Yes.”

“Then let’s do it properly,” he said. “Much as I’d love to shag you on a blanket under some palm trees, let’s do it the right way. Let’s live together with a long engagement, have a proper wedding at a church somewhere. I want to see you in the dress and lift the veil and be declared man and wife with the people we just kicked out all around.”

She laughed again, but this time it sounded almost like a sob, and so he rolled over to his side and gathered her in his arms, comforting her. She was crying, and he wondered if he had said the wrong thing, but then the crying tapered off and she pushed him onto his back and rested her head on his chest. “We’re just...nothing about our relationship has gone the way it should, but you’re right. We should do one thing properly. Though I already know that we should go back to New York for the honeymoon. To your apartment, not...there.”

“It’s on the market.”

“Your apartment?” she asked, pulling away and looking at him in horror. Then he realized his mistake in the timing of his words and shook his head. “Oh, the other place.”

“It will be harder to sell because there was a crime committed there, but I don’t care. I told the estate agent to sell it for the lowest price possible and I’d fill in their usual commission and to let the new owners do what they want with the furniture and to donate the sale proceeds to some educational charity in New York. I want nothing to do with that place.”

She nodded and then set her head back on his chest. “Then we’ll have to find a place with a skylight in our bedroom, won’t we?”

He began to rub her back until she had a contented type of hum coming from low in her throat. “I think that would be nice, yeah. Absolutely wonderful.” Soon she kissed him again, and when the kiss became more heated he felt himself stir as she moved on top of him. The future suddenly looked blazing bright and he wanted nothing more than to spend it with her...whatever that might entail.