#online shabbat services

[bijoumikhawal]

girl...

[keshetchai]

If you're in the process of converting to Judaism here is my advice:

Worry less about arguments online and worry more about (in no particular order):

Following a shabbat service and learning tunes your synagogue uses frequently

What kind of volunteering you want to do in your local Jewish community

Setting up time with your rabbi(s) to talk and ask questions

Writing for yourself in a journal about the process

Tefillah

[vaspider]

Hi vaspider,

I'm a member at Shir Tikvah and saw your responses to allthisandtea's asks. Some folks are good about masking regularly but I'd say they're the minority-- say, 20-30%? I know folks stepped up and masked when Rabbi Stone had to be super cautious during HHD last year but I think people have fallen out of the habit unless they're sick/are higher risk/are specifically asked to mask up for someone else's sake.

We're still doing hybrid Zoom for regular Torah study and Shabbat services but ymmv-- I def prefer in person to online any day of the week.

Yeah, that's part of why I've been really struggling. Before we moved to OR, we went to Erev Shabbat services pretty much every week and to Torah study as often as I could haul my nocturnal ass out of bed. We were pretty much always doing something at our old shul.

Then we moved, and then the world blew up, and Zoom services are really hard for my wife to focus on, and if she's not engaged, it's hard for me to stay engaged. But like...

... so, last Wednesday, both Evie and Emet fell asleep pretty early, and I'm like, well, I gotta watch Agatha All Along so I don't get spoiled. And I put on the episode and like... a minute later, my wife's awake like, "... babe?" because I started sobbing hysterically over the bar mitzvah sequence, so, uh.

I gotta do something. This ain't working.

We skipped Shir Tikvah's holiday market last year bc they didn't have a full masking policy, but now I'm just sort of run down. I can't keep on this way. It very much feels like if I am stuck between having no Jewish life bc of COVID or dying bc people can't be bothered to mask ...

[xclowniex]

Hi! I ask this with full respect! But am I Jewish?

I’m an Armenian Jewish Israeli, and I live in the Armenian quarter of Jerusalesm. I was born to a Mizrahi Jewish father and an Armenian mother, and I also practice the Christian faith. I won’t say I’m as deep into Jewish culture as some but I have participated in throughout my life, and I do genuinely have a love for it.

I was just wondering if I would be considered Jewish because my mother isn’t Jewish and I follow a different faith that isn’t Judaism. Not necessarily on here, but I’ve talked with some more conservative Jews who wouldn’t consider me one.

I was just hoping to what your opinion was like because I really like your opinions.

Shalom!

Hi! Your asks are no problem at all, you don't have to apologize for sending a follow up ask with more context.

I did pose your ask to some friends of mine to garner other perspectives outside of just my own.

Jews will welcoming in terms of interacting with you as long as you don't proselytize or go down the messianic route, which you do not give the vibes for either of those.

Messianics are "jews for jesus" and are mainly made up of Christians with no jewish heritage claiming to be the real jews and practice a mix of appropriated judaism and Christianity.

What I think is that you are welcome to call yourself jewish on your dad's side as well, you are and you have grown up around the culture. My own journey has not been linear and neither has many jews I know online or irl. I grew up orthodox with a non Jewish mother, converted as a child, stopped practicing as a teen and explored other religions before settling on judaism, specifically reform. I may become orthodox again later, but I'm happy now with reform. Though I will start attending the orthodox synagogue Friday evening services when I move closer to it as after a 30m service I get a free dinner so why not lol. At the last monthly shabbat potluck I went to with jews around my age, there were a few jews who never grew up religious, mainly due to a similar situation where one parent was jewish, the other catholic or Christian and whilst they view themselves as atheist, they do still want to participate in the cultural aspect.

I wouldn't really just use the word "jew" to describe you as that does come with the connotations of you being either religiously jewish or secular, aka non practicing but culturally jewish, so specificity is nice, but I also wouldn't say that you aren't jewish in any capacity as that is blatantly false. If you took a dna test, roughly half of your DNA would be jewish (give or take as you might not have inherented generically exactly 50% jewish dna as dna and genetics is more complicated than an easy split).

Some other people I posed your query to would say is that you would be best considering yourself someone with jewish heritage/ancestors, because you do believe in Jesus.

The reason why I think jewish on your dad's side fits you a lot better than saying jewish heritage is people who usually say they have jewish heritage are people who like their great grandparent was jewish but converted to Christianity and their grandparents, parents and themselves never practiced judaism, both religion wise and culture wise. But that's just purely my experience with what I have seen.

I do understand why some jews would be hesitant with you calling yourself jewish as there are people who have jewish heritage either with one parent or a grandparent who act like an authority on everything jewish as well as just caution surronding messianic jews in general, but again like I've said, you don't give that vibe.

It honestly your choice and does depend on how heavily you want to associate with jewish culture as well as how much jewish culture you partake in. I will say thought that you shouldn't really mix jewish prayers with Christianity, but again, that's not the vibe I get from you.

If you do want to make a tumblr, I would recommend that you specify in your bio or pinned post that you are ethnically jewish or have jewish heritage and are Christian. Just so people are aware and don't assume you are messianic lol.

[germiyahu]

I loved your post on affordable Judaica

Synagogues will have Shabbat siddurs, for everything else there's debit MasterCard a bunch of different, free, siddur apps. They have apps for the megillot, too, which I download ahead of each chag/fast for easy access. There's even an easy online page for funeral rites.

Fancy Kiddush cups tend to have either an annoying plastic insert or leave a metallic taste in your mouth. Lots of people I know have moved on to these stylized glass/crystal cups. Much less expensive, dishwasher safe, and equally beautiful.

also, if you sidle up to Israeli Tumblr or Facebook, you'll probably be able to find someone willing to mail you stuff and/or someone travelling who's able to bring you stuff. Judaica here is like shampoo—there's the fancy boutique stuff, but there's also supermarket brand things (literally; we bought our Hanukkiah in the supermarket) that are perfectly nice and perfectly affordable, but naturally don't ship overseas.

It can very well be considered צדקה to donate Judaica, so if you genuinely can't afford anything, and if you genuinely have nothing appropriate to use (though one of my classmates uses a ceramic mug he and his wife made on their honeymoon so the limit on what's appropriate is pretty far off in the distance), there is no shame in asking people for help.

You're not commanded to buy Yair Emanuel polished brass Tree of Life Shabbat candlesticks... you're commanded to beautify the Shabbat table. It's not about money, it's about what you find beautiful. What you find meaningful. I would recommend saving for a more expensive item, at least one, if you plan on starting a family, so that you have something to pass on to your kids. But at the end of the day, what's more valuable? A Kiddush cup made of real silver or real crystal, or the story behind your chintzy little ceramic mug that your grandchildren will be telling stories about?

At the very least, a benefit of being involved in a Jewish Community is you will inevitably interact with people of older generations, which I think a lot of Gen Z is just not really doing these days? These people have tons of experience and can give advice, for what to get and how to find it and how to budget for it.

Also a Shabbat siddur can get you through weekdays, depending on your level of observance. Especially considering most shuls don't even have weekday services, so the prayers you do at home are going to be similar, and the main difference from what I can tell is the Shabbat siddur has more in it, so it's a process of cutting out things you don't need on the weekdays. Again it depends on your stream and level of observance. But you are going to need a Machzor.

[jewfrogs]

hi gabriel. i have a problem. i initially followed your blog a year or two ago because i was in the process of converting; haunting my local reform synagogue, becoming a known quantity, chilling with folks at holidays, et cetera. i stopped attending friday services regularly a little before oct 7 (restaurant job with conflicting hours), but since things started i haven’t gone back. i keep telling people it’s because i don’t want to have to talk about it but i don’t know how to square being an anti zionist convert with being surrounded by people who are firmly pro israel. just last week they invited an idf soldier to speak about how hard his job is!! and fuck i miss the friends i made there. i miss having ten grandmas. im sorry i know you’re not the Jewish Ambassador and you sure didn’t ask for receiving random emotionally loaded anons, but i dont know what to do. i know i can’t be a solitary jew but the ones i know are apparently cool with war crimes if their side does them. i didn’t think i had a soul but i guess i do and it’s fucking hurting bad right now fuck

hi honey. i’m sorry i can’t say much of substance beyond that i’m right there with you and it’s miserable and i wish there was an easy solution. i wish it wasn’t this way; i wish so many jewish spaces weren’t this way.

nothing can fully replace physical, in-person community in most cases, but it’s important to find ways to remind yourself that you may be solitary, but you are not alone.

you might look into the shabbat services at tzedek chicago (one of the only actively antizionist synagogues i know of) which are available virtually around the world.

depending on where you live, there might be a jewish presence at pro-palestine protests or events with organizations like JVP or INN or other local groups, which can be affirming and meaningful (and even if there isn’t an explicit presence, there’s a high likelihood that there’ll be other solitary jews).

reading historical and contemporary writings by antizionist jews is great (i recommend anti-zionism: analytical reflections, although i’m not sure if it’s anywhere online).

online spaces can be a blessing too—r/jewsofconscience has consistently solid conversations and community, and even just seeing other antizionist jews on here reminds me that i’m not alone and i’ve never been alone.

i wish you well and i hope you find as much peace as possible 🪬💙🧿

[pettytiredandjewish]

Are you pro-Israel or pro-Palestine?

I honestly don’t think it’s any of your concern but if you really want to know my “stance”, I’ll tell you. You may or may not like my answer but I’m at the point where I really don’t give a flying F. So here we go-

A little background about me-I’m not Israeli, I’m from the states but my great-grandparents on my mom side left Germany sometime a little before WW1 due to antisemitism (they were Ashkenazi Jews.) Not everyone left and the ones who did stay ended up in the concentration camps/ghettos during WW2. Honestly if my great grandparents didn’t leave Germany- well there is a high chance that I wouldn’t be here and that this family tree branch would be non existent.

I’m gonna be honest I’m a “zionost”. There is no safe place for Jews. A lot of countries made it known for many years and they are still making it known to this day. Not only is the land of Israel is considered holy (I’m not super religious but I do recognize and respect that it’s a sacred and holy site) but it is also considered a safe place for many Jews who had to leave their own homes due to all the antisemitism/hate/etc. I’m not an “anti-Zionist”. Did you know that one of Russian’s leaders during- I believe the Soviet Union created that term as a way to help destroy Jewish culture during that era? That term just rubs me the wrong way.

I constantly worry about my friends and family. I worry about mine and their safety. I have to keep looking over my shoulder when I leave the house or when I go to the store, it to work… I know my parents worry too and I know my mom is secretly happy that I attended Shabbat services via online. I don’t want to think about what would happen if something happened to me or to my family/friends. But I don’t hide my “Jewishness”. I love being Jewish- I’m not ashamed of it. It’s a beautiful culture but it also is sad too. The history is not all butterfly’s and rainbows. We (Jews) have suffered for generations but we also overcome everything that people throws at us. Are we traumatized? Probably yes, but we don’t give up. We work hard to keep our culture alive so that we can keep passing it down.

The situation in Israel and Palestine is/has always been messy. It’s like a pressure pot- every little issue and conflict has been cooking up for some time. And every once in a while someone will let some steam out- to help let out some pressure but if you keep it covered and not let out the pressure, well it’s all going to build up and explode. And il that’s what’s happening here. That’s what we’re seeing now. This is the aftermath.

So to answer your question- I’m “pro Israel”: I think that Israelites have the right to live there. It’s their home. They did not colonize it. It is also not an apartheid state. Really people- please read a dictionary to understand these terms that you keep throwing out. Gaza’s government has been unstable for some time and it did eventually fell to hamas control sometime earlier 2000’s(?) for those who don’t know and or still in denial about what they really are- hamas is a terrorist organization. They’re not a resistance group of freedom fighters “fighting to save their people” cuz they don’t give a damn about their own people. They a literally using their own civilians as human shields. They’re stealing resources that’s mental for the civilians and using it themselves.

Also quick question(s) but why is Israel getting blasted for defending themselves after Oct 7? Is anyone gonna call out the other neighboring countries for how they are handling the situation- why aren’t they opening up their borders for refugees? Also why are most of y’all blaming Israel citizens and well- Jewish people in general- i mean I know the answer to this (*cough* most of y’all hate Jews and are using this as a reason to unmask yourselves).

I honestly could keep going- I’ve mostly kept this to myself, so it’s building up, but to be “nice” I’m gonna stop there for now. I don’t know what your “stance” is and I really don’t care per se- the whole situation has been stressing me out like crazy. If you don’t like my answer to bad so sad- I’m no one’s “good Jew”. If you or anyone have any questions you can ask but if you say some antisemitic crap I will block you and depending on my mood- call you out on it too. Have a happy holiday.

Am Yisrael Chai

[askjumblr]

Hello, I'm working on converting - I'm going to set up an appointment with a Rabbi next week - and I want to know if it's okay to listen to prayer songs outside of services and Shabbat. I've been to a few services now and the music really calls to me (I mean, it all does), and I'd like to learn the words more so I'll be better able to keep up.

From what I know of Judaism this seems acceptable? But I saw some people expressing frustration that the Talmud is publicly available online so I wanted to check in, I don't want to contribute to appropriation.

.

[fromgoy2joy]

This may be very blunt, but how did you find a Jewish community to surround yourself with? I live overseas atm and am in an English school with people from all over the world, but have yet to meet a Jewish person(that I know of) nor am I near a synagogue. It’s been difficult as someone in the midst of trying to convert properly because I have no one to celebrate Shabbat with or help me out 😞. I was wondering if you knew how to find community as you post about your friends from time to time.

Hey- this ask really rattled me and I'm heartbroken that this is the case for you. That is so tough and I can't even imagine how that's been in this tumultuous time. If you're overseas atm, I'd suggest looking at where you plan to live in the future, and seeing jewish options there. Because that's where the conversion journey will start- in a community with people who will care about you deeply. So, if you can, situate yourself where you can find a decently sized jewish community in the future. That might mean changing future plans, but hey! This is a huge life change!

In the meantime, I'd suggest doing some deep study- very very deep- so that once you officially start the process, you'll be prepared. Jewish Literacy by Rabbi Telushkin is a good starting place (as mixed of a book as it can be sometimes lol) and "choosing a jewish life" is always a favorite. Sefaria is what my rabbi describes as the "single best thing to ever happen to jewish study in 3 thousand years" (there's some truth in that- ) .

In the meanwhile, the heartache is real. If you can, join services on zoom in your time zone to get used to the rhythm of the community, torah studies on zoom, try to get into online Jewish circles to gain perspective (don't go in like you know everything ofc!). You're on an important step of the journey before conversion where you can set yourself up in the best way possible,

the way it worked out for me was that I showed up to the Jewish community's shabbat dinner, scared out of my wits, and was immeadiately embraced at my college. The jewish community is across the city so I've come to know people from all walks of life and communities. It's an amazing experience and I wish it for you so much

If you want, you can reach out to me if you need more help. I don't have all the answers, I’m not an expert but I can do my best to assist based on my knowledge of the specific process I have and other connections I have.

[former-leftist-jew]

i’m a little anxious to send this not on anon but i saw one of your posts where a comment mentioned jewish conversion and you seemed to support it. my boyfriend is jewish and i would like to convert to judaism but a lot of the research i’ve done says that you can’t convert, you have to be born into it since it’s an ethno-religion. i know everyone has different beliefs about this but i worry i won’t be accepted

Hello tyblackthornsheadphones, welcome!

"my boyfriend is jewish and i would like to convert to judaism"

Oooh! Mozel tov! I'm always so happy to meet new people who want to join the Jewish community! <3

"a lot of the research i’ve done says that you can’t convert, you have to be born into it since it’s an ethno-religion"

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that! D: There's so much misinformation being passed around online. :( Thankfully, I'm happy to report that those sources are incorrect: It IS possible to convert to Judaism. ^_^

Like any group, though, how friendly any given Jew is to potential Jewish converts depends on the individual and/or the group they belong in. Just as there's elitism and gatekeeping in every group of people ever (like high school cliques and video game circles--"you're not a REAL gamer unless X"), unfortunately you'll also find some snobbery, elitism, and gatekeeping in Judaism. :(

Though I think Rabbi Friedman has a very loving and accepting view of Jews by conversion. ^_^

The way I see it, the differing experiences of a "Jew-by-birth vs a Jew-by-conversion" can be comparable to an American citizen who was just born on American soil vs an American immigrant who had to go through a long and rigorous bureaucratic process to become an American citizen--they have to learn everything there is to know about American history, presidents, laws, customs, the legal system; spend a "probational period" living in America to become a naturalized citizen, etc.

(The Jewish religion used to be very conversion friendly, but that came to an end when Christianity and Islam became huge world powers who outlawed the Jewish community "tempting" good Christians or Muslims away from the One True Faith.

Jewish identity also used to be passed down from father to children in ancient times--as you'll see in the Torah--but that was changed by Hillel the Elder during the tyrannical reign of King Herod--yes, THAT King Herod! Hillel did this partly to give the children of Jewish mothers who were abandoned by their non-Jewish fathers a place in Jewish society, and he did this partly as a big old political "fuck you!" to King Herod, whose father was only nominally Jewish and his mother was a foreign gentile woman.)

Chabad is an Orthodox Jewish organization.

And here's a link from a Reform Judaism POV. ^_^

In my experience, Reform Jewish synagogues and organizations tend to be more accepting of and friendly to Jewish converts. (Though it's not universal! Sadly, there are snobs everywhere. D:)

So if I were you, I would just start with checking out some books on Judaism from your local library, attend Friday night or Saturday morning Shabbat services with your boyfriend (that's usually a time when non-Jewish guests attend).

If your local college has a Hillel or Chabad Jewish student organization, I would visit that too! They usually host fun events that are free and open to to all, especially students who're just interested in connecting with other Jewish students, and learning about Jewish identity. ^_^

In the meantime, I'd just take time to study and learn about Jewish history and culture just for fun.

I think Sam Aranow's "Jewish History" Youtube series is a very entertaining way to learn about Jewish history, from ancient to modern.

Unfortunately I have to go to work now, but if you have ANY other questions, please reach out to me! I LOVE sharing knowledge and resources about Judaism, especially to potential converts who show a genuine interest and curiosity.

(Jewish culture can be, in my opinion, not as accepting and welcoming of potential Jewish converts as they should be, and I want to make up the difference. ^_^ )

[spacelazarwolf]

My family was Jewish and immigrated from Eastern Europe pre-WW2, but then assimilated and converted to Christianity. It's on my dad's side, if that matters. I'm in this weird place where I would like to connect with my ancestry, but I don't want to be appropriative and claim a religion I don't have. Am I welcome to visit local synagogues if I don't currently have the intention of converting? If so, are there any particular holidays/feasts/services that are more closed to the public?

i answered an ask like this a while ago and linked it in my faq but for some reason the link is broken so i'll try to tell you what i told them.

if your intention isn't to convert but just to connect with your ancestry, i highly recommend connecting through food and language. get some cookbooks (or if anyone in your family still has recipes your ancestors used to make, even better) and incorporate some dishes into your usual rotation. look into learning yiddish (i'm assuming your family was ashkenazi since they were in eastern europe) or at least learning some of the basics. i also highly recommend lighting yahrzeit candles on days like tisha b'av and yom kippur to commemorate your family. you can usually get them at the grocery store or online.

you can definitely reach out to your local synagogue and ask the rabbi if they have any advice for you or if they would be comfortable with you attending some services. if you're not interested in converting, they might not be comfortable with you consistently attending services and holidays, but you never know. the things i'd stay away from are highly ritualistic and sacred things like saying prayers in hebrew, lighting shabbat candles, tefillin, tallit, things like that. those are generally considered to be a closed part of judaism.

[kaminos-de-leche-i-miel]

just attended online shabbat services and my heart is so filled with joy. this truly reinforces my belief that i am choosing the correct path <3

[vaspider]

Hi again I am the married (potential)convert person- Thank you so much! I will continue to try with this Rabbi. I can't dox myself by explaining why, but I am in a place where he is the *only* in person option available.

Is there a reform/reconstructionist/unaffiliated Temple that would be open to distanced support? I am willing of course to search online but I am not sure what sort of keywords would be useful here. And with the understandable security concerns I have had some difficulty finding contacts.

Regardless I will keep trying. Thank you for everything sincerely.

If he has made it clear that this is a hard boundary for him, I do not think it is wise to try to continue; it might just hurt you both. And definitely don't dox yourself!

As far as who might help you remotely, please don't just go searching for that; there are people who unfortunately will prey on potential converts and essentially 'sell' conversions, which is sad and gross to me.

I would recommend that you reach out to Rabbi Menachem Cohen (he/they); they are a dear friend of mine from the East Coast convention community & either they can help you or they will probably know someone who can. He's a really lovely person. You can find his TikTok here; he's not on Tumblr and I don't know if they'd want me giving out their Facebook or whatever. Feel free to tell them that Spider advised you to reach out for help. :)

Oh, you know what, I just thought of someone else -- you can also try reaching out to Rabbi David Gerber at Congregation Gates of Prayer. I don't know if he can help you but if he can't, he might know someone who can. Gates of Prayer has committed to keeping their online options open and has invested a lot in their infrastructure to avoid lag/skipping/etc. because they found a lot of value in remote services. At the very least, you should be able to start attending Shabbat services online with Gates of Prayer. Again, you can feel free to let him know that Spider sent you. :) He knows our entire family very well.

[tinypocketowl]

I've spent the last few days being sickly and working from home, and today was literally so exhausted by noon that I fell asleep on my couch in the middle of watching Shabbat service (my shul has an online option for occasions such as these).

But the sun was out and today is the only day it isn't going to rain for probably the next month. So I took my dog for a slow walk through the park, and when the sun set I walked to the grocery store and back for ingredients, and made a nice dinner for myself. Shakshuka, a carrot salad, and a "lemonade apple" because I recognized it from a Tumblr post. Garbage apple do not recommend. Everything else is so good though.

[jewish-vents]

prospective convent here (delete if necessary)

i’ve been wanting to convert for a while and i’ve been attending shabbat services for the past 4 months now. but i’m going to college soon and i won’t be able to go to the same shul anymore.

i can’t find anything about any sort of jewish community at my college besides a facebook page that was last active in 2017. i’m kinda stressed about starting all over again at a new shul. plus i don’t know if i’ll have enough time to convert while in school (i’m just getting my associates) and while i’d love to ask the wider jewish online community i’d really rather not dox myself.

another thing is that while my family is supportive of me wanting to convert i’m scared to talk to them about rising antisemitism and/or i/p (my dad has told me to just nod along with whatever anyone is saying (“it’s too complicated”), and my brother has openly stated his negative feelings about israel)

(so while i’d love to have someone drive me to shul (rather than driving myself) i don’t feel save as they have a rather large “we stand with israel” sign out front)

i feel kinda trapped in all of it, i’m just kinda floating in all these mixed up feelings

I'm sorry, that's a really difficult position to be in.

Have you looked for the email addresses of any local Rabbis? That can be a good way to initially reach out, if you can't contact them in person.-🐞

[germiyahu]

I'm not a person who believes in coincidences, and it is not a coincidence that the random seat I chose had a blinding shaft of sunlight pouring on it for most of the service... of course I was thinking "I am being singled out as an intrusive little goy awkwardly pretending to mouth along to these prayers, or is this supposed to be some divine inspiring light?"

Nor is it a coincidence that the parshat Torah was about Pharaoh's stubbornness, and the Bar Mitzvah's haftarah reading was about Jeremiah, and the Rabbi's "sermon" if it could be called that was about letting go, letting things in your life change, opening yourself up to change.

Nor is it a coincidence that said haftarah reading was from Jeremiah, and I just so happened to name this blog based on a pun but honestly maybe my Hebrew name is meant to be Yermiyahu after all? Could that be a sign? Maybe, maybe not. And also, the Bar Mitzvah's patronymic was actually his mother's name, and I had just been thinking about if that was something that could be done.

Maybe it's just schizotypal thinking, but during this whole confusing at times overwhelming dose of culture shock instead of my normal response of feeling inadequate and withdrawing/shutting down, I was only filled with more resolve, and I started envisioning myself at this Shul, a later version of myself, who's memorized the prayers and the songs, especially the melodies, who follows along in the service like I've been doing it my whole life, talking to people I've known for months as we catch up on our weeks.

I think this is actually real. Anyway my first online class starts tomorrow. Additional classes with the Rabbi start at some point she has yet to disclose to me. And I need to shuffle some things around at work, buy a few recommended readings, wait for my Shabbat candles to ship. But this train has left the station 🤩